#yes i wrote in some gabriel/famine/frannie cus im obsessed w them

[vinatintasupernovita]

2 for the warm weather/summer prompts 👀

2. “I’ll explain later, but for now, can I throw this frozen margarita in your face and call you a jerk?” with some Michael/Beelzebub

———

There was exactly two times every century or so that Heaven and Hell’s forces looked forward to. One was the long-awaited ‘Casual Friday’- that was more Heaven’s deal, as Hell had long since abandoned their dress codes- and the other was the weekend-long co-office summer beach party.

The beach party was, on the record, a strategic meeting. Heaven and Hell would get together on a secluded beach on Earth and.. ‘scope out’ the opposing side- try and find weak points. This was a crack of shit clearly as most of everyone used this weekend to let their hair down for a couple days and get out any pent up energy they had from the thousands of years of sitting in shitty cubicles that were only different in color scheme. And after a long time considering, they both decided giving up on that after the failed apocalypse would just be another kick to the nuts.

Beelzebub sat at the cabana bar- the warring forces had co-rented a hotel and their private beach this time around and everyone agreed it was a much better experience now that endless drinks were included.

They sipped on a frozen lime martini as they played with the string of their cover-up. A few of the other lords and dukes were mingling on the beach with a couple angels- none that Beelzebub really knew the names of. They preferred to sit and drink in silence since it was going to be some of the only quiet they were going to get for awhile.

“Beelzebub!” And there the silence was broken. They turned on the swivel stool and looked to see Gabriel approaching in his usual purple hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts. They rolled their eyes but motioned him over all the same.

“Featherbrain, you’re looking beachy.” They said as he took the seat next to them. He shook his head when the bartender questioned if he’d like a drink, and Beelzebub continued drinking. “Still won’t taste humanity’s finest creation?”

“You know how I feel about gross matter.”

“Yes, won’t eat food or drink alcohol unless it’s with humanity’s least favorite dietician at some overpriced gastronomy joint.”

Beelzebub was one of three people that knew about Gabriel’s currently covert relationship with Famine. The other two people were Frannie- Gabriel and Famine’s girlfriend- and Aziraphale, who Gabriel had originally turned to for romantic advice as he was the only other angel Gabriel had knowledge of dating non-angels. Demons and Monsters of the human subconscious were only a couple steps away from one another on the supernatural hierarchy anyway.

Beelzebub got to know about that little circle as they were, for lack of better terms, Gabriel’s closest friend. They had a mutual distaste and disrespect-turned-respect for another for the last couple thousand years that evolved into a genuine friendship. Gabriel would spill about his new escapades in love and Beelzebub would offer advice as if they had ever had a romantic encounter in their entire existence.

That would change however as Gabriel caught them staring at Michael off in the distance. Michael was, admittedly, the hottest angel in Beelzebub’s opinion. They’d never say it out loud, but it was apparent from the way they were missing their straw as they tried to continue drinking. Gabriel only chuckled.

“Distracted, Beelzebub?” He asked, only to snap their attention back to him and get a glare in return.

“Im never distracted. Especially not by angels.” They argued.

“I never said anything about it being an angel specifically. Could’ve been Asmodeus.” He said.

“Ugh, don’t make me gag.” They said as they pulled the drink closer. “What, are you going to tell him?”

“I don’t need to tell Michael anything- he’s probably watching us right now.” Gabriel said as he leaned on the bar. “He likes to think he’s discreet but really most of Heaven knows how he likes to play spy.”

“He can’t hear us from that far-“

“No, but he can watch.” He said. “He’s good at that.

Sure enough, Michael was watching- watching with a kind of jealous glint in his eyes. He looked up from the sun-tan mirror in his hands for a moment as he tried to read Gabriel and Beelzebub’s motions. They were friends, that was clear, but Gabriel had been acting much brighter in the last few weeks and Michael had a sneaking suspicion that he knew why- he had to have some new lover.

But Gabriel wasn’t dating an angel. If it had been an angel everyone in Heaven would’ve known about it by now. But nothing- no info from anyone. And from the looks of it, it was a demon. At least, that was the working theory Michael had.

Now as previously stated, that was not the case at all as that would’ve been cheating on Gabriel’s actual partners and gross to Beelzebub, who would sooner eat glass, but Michael didn’t know that. And, for the record, he had been meaning to ask Beelzebub to a drink for the last three beach weekends, he just never got around to it. Uriel said it was because he was too chicken, but Michael would prefer to keep his pride in tact in case of a rejection.) But now, timing was critical. For both him and Beelzebub.

They had to figure out a way to get Michael to come over and assess exactly why he was staring- maybe put the moves on him, as the kids say. But they needed a reason, any rea-

They looked at their half-consumed margarita and got a brilliant idea.

“Gabriel, I’ll explain later, but for now, can I throw this frozen margarita in your face and call you a jerk?” They asked, only for Gabriel to blink at them.

“Um, sure?”

Splash!

“You holy fucking jerk!” Without a second given for Gabriel to question their thought process, Gabriel was drenched in lime margarita and all eyes seemed to be on them. Most of everyone just turned and looked and wondered or snickered, expecting some kind of further blow up in the coming minutes.

Thankfully, Michael took the bait. As he walked up, Beelzebub gave Gabriel a look that just about screamed ‘play along.’

“Is there a problem, Lord Beelzebub?” Michael asked as he looked between his now-drippy brother and the Prince of Hell. Beelzebub turned to Michael and cleared their throat.

“Just Gabriel being his usual dumbass self. I’d say he should think before he speaks but clearly he can’t ever think.”

“I resent that-“ Gabriel started, only for Michael to raise his hand slowly to quiet him.

“Now, now, we don’t need any of that. Not now, at least. We have a truce.” He said. “Gabriel, why don’t you clean up while I try to smooth things over here?” That’s when Gabriel saw Beelzebub nod, and finally it clicked.

“Oh, fine.” He said, getting up from the cabana. “We’re not done here, Beelzebub!” He was such a bad actor, but thankfully he was walking away.

“So sorry about him.” Michael said as he took Gabriel’s spot. “Let me get you another drink, on me.” He waved over the bartender. “What was it?”

“Lime margarita with a salted rim.” Beelzebub said.

“One of those and a cherry daiquiri for me.” Michael ordered, and the bartender nodded before heading to make the drinks. “Now, why don’t you tell me all about what happened?”

“You were watching us, i’m sure you could guess.” Their words had an air of mischief in them that Michael caught right away. He nodded.

“I watch everyone. But I have to say I’m surprised, I thought you and Gabriel were close.”

“He’s not the worst angel i’ve ever met.”

“But you’re not denying that you’re close?”

“He’s my friend, nothing more. Sometimes he’s much less.”

“And I’m assuming right now he’s the ladder?” Michael said as he took a sip of his drink. “You still haven’t explained what happened.”

“He was being nosey, that’s all. But damn does it weigh on you after the hundredth question.” Beelzebub lied, watching for another look of interest in Michael’s eye. “Asking too many personal questions.”

“Like?”

“You too?” They said sarcastically. “Well, if you must know, he was asking if I fancied anyone. Wanted to plan a double date with me and my person of choice and his new partners. So annoying.”

There was the info Michael was looking for- he’d have to ask Gabriel about it later but partners plural stuck to his head. That, and the fact it wasn’t Beelzebub. That was step one. Now they were both onto step two.

“And who would be your person of choice- if you have one?” Michael asked. “Any demonic entity catch your eye?”

“Id sooner discorporate myself than date anyone in the same office.” Beelzebub said. “Too close for comfort, don’t know how some of them make it work.”

“I see. I suppose I could say the same. Angels are close-knit but sometimes it could be a bit much.”

“I didn’t know you were the type to date outside the heavenly realms.”

“Well, things change with time, don’t they? I mean we should’ve destroyed one another by now but we’re drinking together instead.”Beelzebub nodded, leaning on their elbow.

“Suppose you’re right.” They said. “If you’re free, we could also get dinner together. Up to you.”

That’s when it hit Michael exactly what they were implying. He chuckled. The sly bastard.

“I think that sounds delightful.”