#the savior: emma visage

[from-the-notebook]

Emma Swan tags

[dealmxkerofgold]

Honestly I never understood why Emma said that because it's obvious that Rumple has the biggest crush on Belle and Belle just... thinks that they're already married? 😁

[gntlesurvived]

emma swan

Was that [JENNIFER MORRISON]? No, that was just [EMMA SWAN]. They are a/n [CANON CHARACTER] that was pulled out of [ONCE UPON A TIME]. How weird is that? At this time, they are [THIRTY] years old, and use [SHE/HER PRONOUNS]. Hopefully they learn to love it here on Naporia!

⠀.⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀.⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀.⠀

⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀༝ ⠀emma swan ⠀⠀⠀⠀

⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❲ ⠀. . . once upon a time ⠀༝ ⠀ ❳

⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀༝ ⠀ ╱⠀ 𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐀 ⠀⠀⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀.⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀.⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀.⠀

⠀ ⠀⠀⠀

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ╱⠀❛ ⠀designations ⠀ ݁ ⠀.⠀

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀𝖻𝗂𝗋𝗍𝗁 𝗇𝖺𝗆𝖾 : emma swan

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀𝖺𝗅𝗂𝖺𝗌𝖾𝗌 : emma, savior

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗇𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗌 : she/her

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ╱⠀❛ ⠀physiology ⠀ ݁ ⠀.⠀

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀𝖼𝗅𝗈𝖼𝗄𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗄 : thirty

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗉𝗅𝖾𝗑𝗂𝗈𝗇 : clear, fair skin

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖾 : 5′5

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗄𝗌 / 𝖿𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖾𝗌 : n/a

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ╱⠀❛ ⠀personal ⠀ ݁ ⠀.⠀

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀𝗆𝗒𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝖻𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗀 : istp

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀𝗆𝗈𝗋𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗒 : chaotic good

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀𝖾𝗇𝗇𝖾𝖺𝗀𝗋𝖺𝗆 : 6w5

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀𝗌𝖾𝗑𝗎𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗒 : bisexual

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀+ 𝗍𝗋𝖺𝗂𝗍𝗌 : confident, strong

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀- 𝗍𝗋𝖺𝗂𝗍𝗌 : stubborn, shut off

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ╱⠀❛ ⠀ relations ⠀ ݁ ⠀.⠀

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀𝖿𝖺𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 : david nolan

⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀𝗆𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 : snow white

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀𝗌𝗉𝗈𝗎𝗌𝖾 : killian jones (in canon)

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀𝗌𝗂𝖻𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌 : neal nolan

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ╱⠀❛ ⠀skills  - out of 10⠀ ݁ ⠀.⠀

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀𝗆𝖾𝖽𝗂𝖼𝖺𝗅 : 4/10

⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖻𝖺𝗍 : 9/10

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗆𝗎𝗇𝗂𝖼𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 : 7/10

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀𝖾𝖽𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 : 8/10

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 :

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ╱⠀❛ ⠀other ⠀ ݁ ⠀.⠀

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀𝗌𝗈𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗌𝗌𝗈𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 : you're on your own, kid by taylor swift

⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › ⠀naporiahqs specific :

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀. . . ⠀ › ⠀what point of canon were they brought here from?

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › emma is brought from right before she became the dark one.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀. . . ⠀ › ⠀how long has it been since they arrived?

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › it has been almost a year since emma has arrived.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀. . . ⠀ › ⠀will they be working at any of the island’s establishments?

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ › yes, at naporia police station.

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ╱⠀❛ ⠀𝗍𝖺𝗀 𝖽𝗎𝗆𝗉 :

−−−  ꧁  EMMA SWAN   :   i've been on my knees change the prophecy.     ❨  visage.  ❩

−−−  ꧁  EMMA SWAN   :   you're on your own kid you always have been.     ❨  writings.  ❩

−−−  ꧁  EMMA SWAN   :   fresh out the slammer i know who my first call will be to.     ❨  starters.  ❩

−−−  ꧁  EMMA SWAN   :   but i didn't pour the whiskey.     ❨  misc.  ❩

[intelwon]

𝐄𝐌𝐌𝐀 𝐒𝐖𝐀𝐍 𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐒  ( 𝟏 / ??? )   ꜰᴛ. @honesta​’s ɢʀᴀʜᴀᴍ ʜᴜᴍʙᴇʀᴛ

𝙿𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙾𝙽𝙰𝙻𝚂 𝙳𝙾 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝚁𝙴𝙱𝙻𝙾𝙶 𝙼𝚄𝚃𝚄𝙰𝙻𝚂 𝙼𝙰𝚈 𝚁𝙴𝙱𝙻𝙾𝙶

[tolleraresubire]

Hope Swan-Jones tags

[induro-a]

𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐄 𝐒𝐖𝐀𝐍-𝐉𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒

[madderofhatter]

Far Longer than Forever

On the morning of the second curse, Jefferson woke feeling like he’d been sleeping on a cloud. A very clean and crisp cloud, if that were possible. He eyed his plush mattress covered generously with the Vera Wang sheets and comforter. It was the same damn bed he’d had for the past twenty eight years and never felt it was anything too remarkable. Why now did he feel like it was the first time in a long time he’d slept there. Weird. He didn’t recall actually going to bed the night before either.

He dismissed the bothersome thoughts of being displaced as unimportant. The light snow falling outside caught his eye and Jefferson paused, staring out the window. Wasn’t it late-May? A late snow then? Not too odd for Maine, after all.

Turning from the window, his thoughts busy on what to make Grace for breakfast, he left the room barefoot. Rubbing the heel of his palm into his eye, his hand reached for Grace’s doorknob. A memory struck then and he froze. 

Pan’s curse. And then Regina’s counter curse. Purple smoke enveloping the entire town as they all stood in the street, completely helpless as Emma, the ‘savior’ drove away in her yellow Bug. Grace’s face turned toward Jefferson’s chest as he hugged her tight as if he could possibly protect her.

Shouldn’t they have woken in the Enchanted Forest. Jefferson looked around himself. Yes, he was home in the mansion. Odd. But that was a hell of a relief, wasn’t it?

Gripping the doorknob, he turned it to find the room dark, but enough light filtered in through the gap in the heavy curtain. What he saw wasn’t correct. He rubbed the other eye. Surely his eyes hadn’t adjusted from sleep yet. “Grace?” His voice echoed in the empty room. 

Blinking a few times did nothing to dispel the disbelief. Surely, another blink or three would produce the visage he expected. Grace, in her room. But he didn’t actually recall putting her to bed the previous night. Hell, he couldn’t remember the night at all--just the curse approaching. “GRACE!” he shouted, turning and sprinting down the hall to the next room. 

Bang! The door slammed against the wall. Empty. The next room was the studio. The chilling atmosphere of cool lighting shone on shelves of tophats, but his eyes glazed over them. Grace wasn’t in there either. Where was her bed? Her furniture? Her stuffed bunny! 

Gone. Again. Regina had cursed the town again! Of course, they’d all fallen for her gesture to save them all. He laughed bitterly, shaking his head, closing his eyes as he stepped backwards until his heels hit the wainscoting. Slowly, he slid down to the floor. 

But the sound of a light tinkling against the window reminded him of the icy snow falling. 

His eyes snapped open and he jumped up to look out the window. The trees were bare of any leaves. That was unusual. They should all have the beginning buds of leaves growing in the Spring even if a late snow occurred. What the hell was going on? It was as if he’d lost a huge gap in time! 

Concluding that Regina’s curse had not only wiped out his memory of the entire summer and potentially the fall, he also didn’t know where Grace was. Their home showed no evidence that his daughter had been back for the past few months. Shouldn’t he remember? He always knew. Always remembered. That was his curse. No. His curse was losing Grace, because he was certain that somehow it had happened again. 

--

The streets in town were busy with cars and people. It must be a weekend, he concluded. Kids weren’t in school, many adults weren’t working. The people were preparing for something. Maybe Miner’s Day was approaching. Was it actually that late in the year already? How many months had he lost? Not just he, but everyone. 

The chill in the air blew a swirl of dried leaves and snowflakes across the street just as Jefferson was beginning to cross. The cold shooting down his coat belatedly reminded him that he’d also forgotten to put a scarf on before leaving. Too distracted by the realization that the world was crashing down around him yet again, he’d been too much in a hurry to get into town. He lifted the collar of the coat he wore to shield his neck, hunched his shoulders and jogged across the street. 

Many school-aged kids were milling in and out of the patisserie and down the street, the same was happening at Any Given Sundae. A streak of nerves shot through Jefferson as he began to approach the door to the pastry shop and he froze on the sidewalk. Doubts filled him. If it was another curse, what if Grace had forgotten him again? No...

“Watch out!” Someone shouted directly behind him. A skateboarder shot past with a glare at him. 

“Idiot,” Jefferson mumbled, but his nervous stupor had been broken. He turned to look at the shop again. Grace wasn’t there, but a number of girls her age did file out, each with a wax paper sleeve holding their treats as they happily chatted. 

“I want to sign up for dance!” One of the girls gushed to her friend. Several agreements were spoken and Jefferson followed their line of sight to the dance studio nearby. Funny, he’d never noticed that business, but why should he? Grace had never brought up dance before.

“Ballet!” Another girl said dreamily. “Can you imagine being able to dance like that?” She lifted her arms, wax paper and pastry in tow, and made a pirouette very ungracefully. Powdered sugar from the sleeve drifted down onto the girl’s brown hair much like the snow that had fallen earlier.

A riotous uproar of laughter from her companions ensued. Jefferson turned his attention toward the ice cream shop. Maybe Grace was there. Walking in that direction, a fluttering on the next building’s window caught his attention and he stopped again. It was the dance studio as evidenced by the number of leotard-wearing toddlers inside mimicking roly polies. 

Stepping up to the glass, Jefferson stuck out a finger to tame the flapping notice and read:

Scholarships for extracurricular activities need funding! Support a child for a brighter tomorrow!

Jefferson snorted. “As if anyone in this town can expect a brighter tomorrow,” he grumbled, but kept reading.

Give your child ballet lessons this holiday season!

His eyebrows rose as he looked up in thought. Grace had mentioned how she wanted to stay here in Storybrooke. To live a life like a normal family--or as normal as a family of two could be under the circumstances. Normal parents send their children to learn ballet and play sports. Was Grace into those things like the girls outside the pastry shop? 

One way to find out. He ripped the little tag bearing the phone number of the dance studio and shoved it into his coat pocket and continued his search for Grace.

Hours later, defeated, Jefferson slumped down on a park bench. No one was remarking on the Dark Curse, people were still wary of Regina as Madam Mayor--Jefferson rolled his eyes--and once he had finally spotted Grace and raised a hand to wave in her direction, her eyes had passed right by him and to the people that had been raising her for the past twenty eight years. Minus the months of bliss when he’d had her back, of course. 

He rolled his head on his neck feeling the stiffness of stress that had begun creeping over him. The wind was picking up. It was going to be a cold damn evening. But his fingers brushed along a scrap of paper in his pocket. The dance lessons! 

Fishing out his cell phone, Jefferson wasted no time and punched the number into his phone. He’d just have to make sure his little girl had a guardian angel looking out for her! She would have an anonymous gift made in her name. That at the very least could push the chill away for a short while. The phone rang in his ear as he waited.

A month passed and on this day, just like every weekday before, Jefferson paused on the sidewalk to peer into the dance studio window. The ballerinas in training moved in sync with the motions of their teacher. One specifically caught his notice. His daughter was living up to her name. She was the most graceful on the dance floor, of course, in his eyes. A smile threatened to tip his lips upward as he watched, his coffee in hand long forgotten. 

[thegrantwater]

Darkness Feeds on the Saddest Souls

A small taste, that's all I ask.

part one, also on my ao3

word count: 1896

When Regina came too, she smelled smoke.

She wasn’t sure where it had come from, the smell of flame, but it was almost overwhelming. Looking down, she saw black tar dissipate at her feet. A grey dress fell to her ankles, and she pushed the hood of her newly adorned cloak back to her shoulders. Looking up, she realized she was in the middle of a forest, one she wasn’t entirely unfamiliar with. The air felt crisper here, and as she took a deep breath in Regina realized that she’d ridden Rocinante through these woods as a child.

“I’m in the Enchanted Forest.”

“Very perceptive, dearie.”

She whipped around, seeing Rumplestiltskin leaning on a tree behind her. He looked like he did when they’d first met, his skin glistening in the light and wrapped in his attire from a life lived long ago.

“How the hell are you here? You’re in Storybrooke, in a coma.” He gave a slight nod, a smirk on his lips.

“Yes, I am. Or rather, he is.” Regina furrowed her brows, confused.

“What are you?” She was nervous, feeling magic crackling in the air around them. Her power hadn’t felt like this in ages, and she thought back to when Emma had helped her activate Jefferson’s hat. The energy in the town hall then is what she felt now, the raw intensity weighing her down and lifting her into the sky all at once.

“I’m many things. The voice in your head, the Dark One’s powers inside of you-inside of all Dark Ones. Rumplestiltskin is just one of many.”

“So Emma failed,” her voice was soft, laced with something she couldn’t even put words to. The last thing she remembered clearly was Emma taking the dagger in her own hand, raising it to take on the curse herself. After that was darkness, and pain coursing through her veins as she lost consciousness. It was slowly making sense, her ending up in the Enchanted Forest. The runes by her feet came into focus, translating quickly in her brain once she realized what they meant.

Regina was now the Dark One, standing on the stones that gave life to the first to carry this burden.

“There it is. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to spell it out for you.” She glared at the man as he took a step towards her. “Now, are you ready to begin?”

“Begin what?” She replied, finally stepping off of the stones and starting into the woods around her.

“Well, learning to be the Dark One, of course! Though it shouldn’t take much time, you were a more prolific heart stealer than I ever was in my day. Maybe a little training, learning to hone all the powers of the darkness, but I’m sure it won’t take longer than a week to make you one of the most powerful Dark One’s of all time.” He was trailing behind her, a spring in his step as the leaves crunched under his feet.

“I won’t embrace the darkness again. I can’t,” she spoke, still walking through the trees. Henry was present in her mind. He would never forgive her if she fell back into her old ways, not after how far she’d come. Regina wouldn’t fool herself - she was no hero, and she never thought she would be. But she’d improved herself, had worked towards happiness and peace with the family she’d created, and if she went back to the darkness she wasn’t sure she’d find her way out this time.

“Oh, they all say that. But everyone who steps from that well enjoys the taste too much. It’s intoxicating, your majesty, I’m sure I don’t need to remind you of that.” She stopped in her tracks, turning to face the vision behind her. He was smiling, a disgusting visage of filth and evil. “So you can fight the urges, and you can try to ignore my whispers in your ear at every turn. But everyone falls for the flavor of the darkness. The only way to stop is to be stopped.”

“If I’m in the Enchanted Forest, then Merlin isn’t far from here, and the Apprentice told Emma that he can destroy the darkness. So I’m going to find him, and he will fix this.” She’d stepped closer to him, now practically nose to nose with the embodiment of calamity. She almost gagged at the smell, identical to what she’d smelled at the stones. It was the smell of suffering, of pain caused over thousands of years. If she let it sit for a moment, it smelled like her castle had in its prime. The blood of her enemies spilled on the marble floors, the rot of death permeating the hallways as she drank bitter wine from the decanter in her bedroom, crying out into the night for her wishes to be granted. But Regina knew better than to trust the Blue Fairy to answer her calls - her sleepless nights praying for the fairy to take her away were still imprinted in her mind.

“Merlin? You’re much better off with me,” he kept the same wicked smirk on his face, and Regina rolled her eyes as she turned her back to him once again.

“I doubt that. I won’t hurt the people I love, not again.”

And so she kept walking.

//

“Apprentice,” Emma burst through the curtain in the back of Gold’s shop, where Blue was dabbing at the wizard’s forehead with a damp cloth. “The darkness took Regina. Where did they go?” The rest of her family trailed in behind her, Hook trying his best to keep his distance. Emma wanted him to; she thought that if he tried to come near her after what had just happened, she’d rip his throat out.

The Apprentice sat up slowly, swatting away the fairy’s hand. “She’s now where all darkness is born, Savior. Your realm.”

“The Enchanted Forest?” Snow asked softly, clutching David’s arm. Emma kept her focus on the man in front of her. If she looked back, all she’d be able to see was Henry’s face, crestfallen at losing his mother for the umpteenth time.

“Then you need to take us there,” Robin spoke up from behind them. The Apprentice looked past Emma, clearly disappointed. How this frail old man could hold so much power and so little at the same time, Emma would never understand.

“I’m too weak now, but this will help.” He waved his hand, and in a flourish of grey smoke a wand appeared in his hand. The handle was ornate, a delicately carved green wood, knobbed on the bottom. “This was a gift from Merlin, the day I became his apprentice. In it is all light magic.”

Emma snatched the wand from his hand, inspecting it closely. “So this can take us to my mom?” Henry was quiet, his voice barely a whisper. Emma looked back to see tears in his eyes, fists clenched at his sides. Regina did the same thing when she was upset, almost as if it was an attempt to ground her anger.

“Not on its own,” the man explained. “It needs to be wielded as it was forged, with both sides of the coin. Light and dark as one.” His voice trailed off at the end, and he fell back onto the bed, eyes rolling back into his head. Blue brought the cloth back to his head, wiping at it gently and muttering to herself-some kind of healing spell if Emma had to guess.

“The only person with that kind of power is the one we’re trying to get to,” David spoke, a thought simply bursting through the silence. “How are we going to get there without her?”

Emma stood, the want firmly in her hand. “Maybe we don’t need her. I can try and use this thing myself.” Turning back to the group, she held the wand towards the ceiling. All eyes were on her as she slowly made a circle with the wand, and her only thoughts were directed towards seeing Regina. She thought that if she could devote her mind to the woman in question, that just maybe it would force the magic through the wood and into the portal she was struggling to create.

“Emma enough!” Hook shouted, stepping forward and pulling Emma’s arm down. As he did, Emma’s other hand reached up and gripped his throat, fingers practically crushing his arteries.

“I know what I’m doing, Killian.” She growled, eyes pointed in anger. Robin stepped between them, breaking the connection between the two. The pirate let out a cough as air filled his lungs again. Emma felt the hard stares of her family on her, shocked by her aggression. None of them could remember the last time she’d behaved like this, if at all. Even Emma struggled to think of a time she’d been overwhelmed by such rage.

“Emma you heard the man,” Robin started, attempting to get her focus on him and not the man she’d threatened now twice in the same night. “The wand needs both light and dark to reach its full potential; your magic is purely light. Without the darkness, we won’t be able to activate it.”

“And what’s your great suggestion, Robin? We call Regina and ask her to activate the wand for us? She’s not here!” She shouted, now stepping up to him with a fury in her stance.

“We need someone wicked, Swan.” Hook muttered, still rubbing at his throat. The ginger spitfire locked under the hospital, part of the reason they were in this mess in the first place.

“No, no, no. That witch is more than wicked, she’s deranged. All she’s ever wanted was Regina gone, do you really think she’d agree to help us get her back?” Emma said, and as her adrenaline rush came down she started to feel her head pounding.

“We have to try, Ma.” It was Henry that spoke, as heads turned to face him. Snow and Charming were appalled at the mere mention of Zelena, and after all the damage she’d caused Emma was right there with them. She opened her mouth to speak, but Henry began again before she could get a word in edgewise. “My mom left her there because she thought that it was possible Zelena could change. Maybe this is her chance.” He was desperate, grasping at straws in an attempt to convince her. “And Robin’s right, you’ll never be able to wield the wand on your own. I think it’s worth the risk, if it means we can get Mom back. Please.”

The room fell quiet at his pleas, everyone deciding on their own whether or not it was even a viable option. Emma was the deepest in thought, grappling with the dilemma before her. They were right - she couldn’t use the wand on her own. And with Gold comatose, there truly were no other options for a magic user in the town. But what would Regina say when she found out they’d let Zelena go? Sure, it was for her, but locking the witch up was for her as well. And if Zelena harmed any of them, nothing would go well.

But Emma had made her decision the moment she’d realized who Hook was talking about. So she focused back on Henry. “Looks like we’re making a stop at the hospital.”

[swanqueeneverafter]

31. Going Home, Pt.2

Storybrooke. Present. In Henry's Bedroom. (Pan touches a storybook page depicting the Dark Curse overtaking the Enchanted Forest. The page is flipped to show an image of the Evil Queen standing in front of her vault. Pan observes the various things in Henry's room. He picks up a comic book and puts it back down. The door creaks open.) Regina: “Lights out, young man.” Pan/Henry: "Mom. Your vault. Did you bring that over with you?” (He sits down on the bed.) Regina: “Yes, Henry, you know that.” Pan/Henry: “With all your magic?” Regina: (Folding her arms:) “Why are you asking all these questions?” Pan/Henry: “Because I might need that stuff to protect myself from Pan.” Regina: “Oh, honey, he can't hurt you. He's locked up in Gold's shop.” Pan/Henry: “But what if he gets out? What if... he finds a way to come after me?” Regina: (Sitting down:) “Magic isn't the answer. (She closes the storybook:) My vault is sealed shut for a reason. It's dangerous. I'll protect you. No matter what. (She smiles and sets aside the storybook:) Now, it's time for you to go bed. (She tucks him into bed and kisses him goodnight:) Goodnight.” (She flicks off the light, closes the door and exits the room. Pan hops out of bed, pulling aside the curtains and opens the window. He sticks his head out.) Pan/Henry: “She's wrong. Magic is the answer. It's time.” (At the town harbor, the Shadow is released from the sail by Pan. It flies off through the empty streets of Storybrooke.) Mills House. Foot Of The Stairs. (Regina heads down the staircase to double check the door is locked when she notices Emma pacing the foyer.) Regina: "Emma? I thought you'd gone?" Emma: (Stops pacing and notices the Mayor's pajamas:) "I can see that." Regina: (Pulling her gown together:) "Is there something you want?" Emma: "Actually...yeah. We need to talk." Regina: "Emma, we agreed that Henry should be in his own bed in familiar surroundings." Emma: "No, I know that. I meant that we need to talk." Regina: (Frowns:) "All right."

(The older woman folds her arms and leans on the banister waiting for Emma to begin.) Emma: (Awkwardly:) "There's something that... I need to tell you. Something that can't wait." Regina: "Miss Swan, after what we've just been through, I doubt that there's anything you have to say that could shock-" Emma: "I think I'm falling for you." Regina: (Shocked, softly:) "What?" Emma: "I know. And I know you lied to me when we were together before I... well, before I believed in magic. And yeah, it makes zero sense when you think about it. (She begins pacing again:) You cast a curse that ruined countless lives, including my parents, which caused a series of events that lead to me spending the majority of my life alone. I mean, My God, I should hate you, right?" Regina: (Nods:) "And yet?" Emma: (Stops pacing:) "And yet when I see how much you love our son, how there's nothing you wouldn't do to save and protect him, how could I possibly hate that?" Regina: (Descending the stairs by one cautious step:) "But you're right about me, Emma. I did all of those terrible things. I did lie to you, to Henry about who I am." Emma: "Yeah, but the crazy thing is... I don't care about who you were. Maybe me not knowing who you were was part of it. So that I could see past the Evil Queen and only know the woman you are now. The woman who loved and raised my son when I couldn’t. Our son." Regina: (Shakes her head:) "But how can you just ignore everything you now know about me?" Emma: "Because I understand you, Regina. I know what it's like to be betrayed and abandoned by the ones who should love us most. I know exactly how it feels having to do everything by yourself, alone. And that's what I was until I came to Storybrooke. Alone." Regina: "Until Henry brought you home." Emma: "Yes, and because he did, because of how we met, what if we were never destined to destroy each other at all? What if we were meant to save each other?” Regina: (Considers:) “What if you breaking the curse was just the beginning?” (Emma nods. There is silence between them for a long moment as they look at each other.) Emma: “And, since I’m being totally honest here, when I saw you reach into Pan’s chest and pull out our son’s heart?” Regina: “Yes?” Emma: “That was one of the sexiest damn things I’ve ever seen.” (The women share a smile. Then, slowly, Regina holds out her hand.) Regina: “I think it's time we made our own destiny, don't you?" Emma: (Taking her hand, smiling:) "That's exactly what I was thinking." (Regina squeezes Emma's hand, turns and quietly leads the savior upstairs.)

Storybrooke. Present. The Next Day. (At Granny's Diner, David and Mary Margaret are having lunch.) David: “I never thought Granny's lasagna could taste so good.” (Mary Margaret chuckles as Mr. Gold approaches.) Mr. Gold: “So how'd you like to wash it down with this?” (He sets down a small bottle containing liquid.) Mary Margaret: “Is that—?” Mr. Gold: “Yeah. An elixir. This will cure your Dreamshade poisoning once and for all.” David: “You really found a cure already?” Mr. Gold: “I am a man of my word.” David: “And I owe you nothing? No price of magic, no...” Mr. Gold: “On the house. But we are family now, so I'm sure should I ever need a favor, you'll be more than receptive.” David: (Nods:) “Thank you.” (Mr. Gold exits.) Mills House. Present. (Despite the rest of Storybrooke's population going about their day, both the Sheriff and Mayor of the town remain blissfully asleep. Eventually, after turning over, Emma slowly opens her eyes. Taking a moment to remind herself of the night's events, a broad smile forms on the blonde woman's lips. Looking over at the still dozing woman next to her, Emma admires the older woman's unguarded, elegant visage. Musing to herself as to how someone so beautiful can command such fear from those who knew her as the Evil Queen. Distracted as she is by her bed mate, Emma is slow to realise they are not alone. Her attention caught by movement in her periphery, the Sheriff turns her head and immediately reacts. Pulling the bed covers to her body tightly, Emma's panic renders her momentarily mute as she finally sees her son standing in the doorway staring at the scene before him.) Emma: (Her mouth dry, uncooperative:) "R-Regina. (Nudges the brunette with her knee:) Regina wake up!" (Slowly, languidly, the Mayor rouses from her slumber.) Regina: (Annoyed, half asleep:) "Let the peasants look after themselves for a day. Bunch of whiners." Emma: (Panic-stricken:) "We've got bigger problems right now, trust me!" (Frowning, Regina looks at the distraught blonde then, still sleepily, begins to sit up.) Regina: "All right, Miss Swan, what's- (Regina finally follows the blonde's line of sight and stares, jaw agape, at her son, who has not moved or changed his expression:) Henry!" (Now both fully awake, the women look to each other and then back to their son as a flurry of explanations and desperate attempts to mollify the boy spew forth from each of them. ‘Henry’, for his part does not say a word, merely turning and closing the door behind him. As Emma flings the bed covers off herself and tries to find her clothing, Regina collapses back on the bed, too mortified to even move.)

Storybrooke. Granny’s Diner. Mary Margaret: “What are you waiting for? Drink it. (David uncaps the bottle top and chugs down the entire elixir:) How do you feel? (David takes in a deep breath as the elixir takes effect. He pats the area where the Dreamshade wound existed, and then smiles before kissing Mary Margaret:) What are you thinking?” David: “Well, I'm thinking maybe we could finally start on that baby. (Suddenly, Mary Margaret notices something behind David. She looks down; crestfallen:) Okay, I didn't mean right now.“ Mary Margaret: “Emma didn't listen to us.” (David glances behind. Two tables away, Neal is sipping his drink alone while staring out the window.) David: “Ah. Yeah, I've got this.” (He grabs his coat and heads out.) Neal: (Still glancing out of the window:) “I know what you’re thinking. (Looks to Mary Margaret:) I think you and I need to talk.” (Surprised, Mary Margaret nods mutely and gets up to move over to Neal’s table.) Storybrooke. Present. (Near the ocean, Emma sits, typing on her mobile phone, with an uneasy expression. David comes up to her.) David: “Isn't Granny's that way?” Emma: “Funny. Did Neal send you?” David: “No, he has no idea I am here, but when I saw him sitting in that table alone, I wanted to make sure you were okay. Are you?” Emma: “Yeah, I'm fine.” (Resumes typing.) David: “Emma.” (He sits down next to her.) Emma: “It's not Neal, it's Henry... and Regina.” David: “Ah. Did you tell her how you feel?” Emma: “Oh yeah. That’s not the problem. (As David looks at her, sighs:) Remember the morning after Mary Margaret and I returned from the Enchanted Forest? (David frowns, trying to think:) When Henry and I walked in on you...” David: “Oh. (Chuckles:) Yeah. (As Emma looks down, realisation dawns:) Oh! (Gulps:) You and Regina... and Henry?” Emma: “Yeah. (Holds up her phone:) Regina’s on damage control right now and she thought it best if I left.” David: “So you came here?” Emma: “Yep. Just sitting here, debating whether or not to drown myself.” David: (Chuckles:) “I know it seems bad now, but Henry had to find out about you two eventually, right?” Emma: “Not that way! (As David shakes his head sympathetically:) He didn’t even react. He just stared at us and walked away.” David: “He was probably in shock.” Emma: (Sighs, cringing:) “It’s not just that. He doesn't seem like himself. He barely looked at his storybook last night.” David: “He went through a lot in Neverland.” Emma: “I know. He just seems quiet, closed off somehow. (Holds up her phone:) And this won’t have helped matters.” David: “No wonder you forgot about Neal. Look, I probably wouldn't worry about it. We're all recovering.” Emma: “I know. I just can't shake the feeling something bad is still going to happen and I need to do everything I can to stop it.” David: “Emma, you can't think like that.” Emma: “But bad things do keep happening.” David: “So do good things. But if you think like that, you'll miss out. There's more to life than living for the next fight. You know, you gotta look for the moments.” Emma: “Moments?” David: “Yes, life is made up of moments. Good ones, bad ones, but they're all worth living.” Emma: “Well, I seem to be a magnet for the bad ones.” David: “All the more reason to look for the good moments in between the bad ones.“ Emma: “And you think having lunch with Neal is a good moment?” David: (Shakes his head:) “I may not understand it, but you’ve made your choice with Regina. I think the least you can do is let Neal know where he stands. Come on, I'll give you a lift to Granny's.” (They link arms while walking.) Emma: “Are you sure Mary Margaret’s gonna accept this?” David: “She’ll come around. Like you said, there’s a lot of history there. Emma, as long as you’re happy, we’re happy. (They walk a few paces:) Besides, your mother isn’t armed, we are.” (They laugh.)

Storybrooke. Present. (In the hallway of Granny's Diner, Hook walks up some steps and runs straight into Tinker Bell, who is coming out of the ladies' room.) Tinker Bell: “Hook. Are you okay?” Hook: “I'm fine, love. (She smiles and begins walking away, but he stops her by placing his hooked hand on her shoulder:) The question is, are you?” Tinker Bell: “Why wouldn't I be?” Hook: “Well, I know Storybrooke can be a disorienting place if you're not used to it. Perhaps a drink to help settle you in?” (He holds up his rum bottle.) Tinker Bell: “We both know you want more than a drink. You want me to help take your mind off Emma.” Hook: “Emma? Who's Emma? I only see you.” Tinker Bell: “I may have lost my wings, but I haven't lost my dignity. That's never gonna hap—” (A scream emits from outside. They both rush out of the diner to investigate as David and Emma step out of the truck. Another scream is heard.) Emma: “What the hell was that?” (The screaming occurs again; only louder.) David: “There. (He runs off towards the sound as Tinker Bell, Emma and Hook follow. Near the steps of the nunnery, Mother Superior is fleeing from the Shadow. She attempts to head up into the convent, but the Shadow grabs and rips away her shadow. Mother Superior collapses lifelessly on the ground. David kneels down to check her pulse:) She's gone.” Tinker Bell: “Why would the Shadow kill her?” Hook: “No idea, love. But I do know the Shadow only takes orders from one person.” Emma: “Pan.” Storybrooke. Present. (At Regina's house, Pan is reading the storybook.) Regina: “Henry. (She enters his room:) Come with me. Something's happened.” (Pan smiles.)

Storybrooke. Present. Outside The Convent. (Mary Margaret arrived with Neal and watches as David and Emma cover up Mother Superior's body with a blanket. Pan and Regina arrive.) Regina: “What the hell happened?” David: “The Shadow. It killed her.” Regina: “Pan's shadow? I trapped it on the sail.” Emma: “Yeah, well, it got free.” Neal: “Look, let's go back to the ship and get the candle. If it strikes again, we need to be able to capture it.” (He leaves as Hook and Tinker Bell follow.) Emma: “Pan's behind this, I know it.” Regina: “He's trapped in a box under the floor of Gold's shop.” Emma: “Who else would be doing this?” Pan/Henry: “So, Pan can still hurt me.” Regina: “We don't know that.” Mary Margaret: “We have to assume he's still a threat.” Emma: “And that he's after Henry.” Pan/Henry: “Then what am I doing here?” David: “He's right. He's not safe out in the open.” Pan/Henry: (To Regina:) “You'll protect me, right?” Regina: “Yes, of course.” (She embraces him.) Emma: “Go. We'll take care of the Shadow. (Pan and Regina turn to leave:) Regina, wait.” (Pan continues walking while Regina stops.) Regina: “What?” Emma: “Keep a close eye on him.” Regina: “I already said I would.” Emma: “I know. He just doesn't seem quite himself.” Regina: “Really? And you don’t think that has anything to do with him walking in on his mothers-” Emma: “No, I didn't... I mean besides that.” Regina: “Our son has been through way more than any twelve year old has any right to and it’s still not over. Maybe he wants me when he's frightened. You forget—I have ten years of soothing his nightmares under my belt. He's fine.” Emma: “Hey, don’t get defensive here. It's not about you, Regina. I just have a gut feeling.” Regina: “Well, maybe you can use that gut feeling to find the Shadow and I’ll take care of our son.” (She exits and rejoins Pan.) Pan/Henry: “So where are you taking me?”

Regina: “The one place in Storybrooke the Shadow can never get to. The place where I keep my magic. (The scene shifts to Pan and Regina walking up to the vault in the cemetery. Regina unlocks the door. Inside, she uncovers the secret staircase under her father's tomb and they head downstairs to the vault area:) Promise you won't touch anything?” Pan/Henry: “I promise.” (Smiles.) Storybrooke. Present. (On the streets, David, Emma and Mary Margaret run towards the pawnshop just as Belle and Mr. Gold are exiting the store.) Mr. Gold: “No, I'm afraid we're closed. Whatever crisis you're dealing with, I'm done for the day.” Belle: “Rumple.” Emma: “Pandora's Box. Give it to me.” Mr. Gold: “Why would I do that?” Emma: “We need to open it.” Mr. Gold: “And let Pan escape? What are you crazy?” Mary Margaret: “Somehow he's controlling the Shadow from inside the box. Henry's life is in danger.” Mr. Gold: “And you think letting Pan out will change that?” Emma: “Yes. Because we can stop him finally and forever.” Mr. Gold: “All due respect, Miss Swan, we barely succeeded in apprehending him the first time. If I've learned one thing, it's not to tempt fate.” Emma: “I am not looking to apprehend him. Wouldn't you rather be sure he's gone?” Mr. Gold: “Well, what do you have in mind?”

[hungrywhovianjedi]

It Hurts To See You and Him book two: I’ll Fight It for You: chapter 3

New Dark One, Killian Jones, finds himself in a frighteningly familiar situation, as he struggles against the aftermath of protecting his love. Emma Swan and the hero gang is left in shock after the sudden disappearance of the Pirate, and now must figure out how to get wherever the Dagger has taken Killian, before the darkness can swallow him whole.

(a note: I won’t be giffing every chapter from now on, because it was consuming a lot of time, so all of the posts from here on out, will be made with the header above. I did make the header, so if you share it, please give credit)

Read where it all began: : Prologue, chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6chapter 7 Epilogue

IHTSYH Also on: FFN

The Spin-off: The prologue, Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

If I Never Leave also on: FFN

The rest of this story: Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2

I’ll Fight It for You also on: FFN

tagging a few who showed interest @andiirivera @revanmeetra87

Merida led the way, her sword cutting wildly through the underbrush. Killian kept pace with her, as best he could, but after an hour, even he began to tire from watching her wild swings. He offered to take over clearing the path, but Merida had merely scoffed, and told him that, “she didn’t need, no man to help her.”

“You know, you could have avoided this, is you had just gotten rid of her.” Emma smirked at him. “OR do you enjoy being belittled?”

“I’m not being belittled.” He mumbled under his breath.

Merida looked back. “What was that?” she asked.

“Nothing.” Killian assured quickly, earning a chuckle from Emma.

She looked like she didn’t believe him, but nodded. “Very well, come on then, we’re almost there.”

“You know, there’s a phrase from back home, that I think would be quite fitting about now lass, as you’re about to burn yourself out, before we even make half the voyage. It’s something along the lines of, ‘slow and steady, wins the race’ If I remember correctly.” Killian told her, as her latest swing faltered.

Merida gritted her teeth, “I don’t have time for slow!” She snapped.

“What precisely is the rush, anyhow? Why do you need the wisp?” He questioned, slowing slightly, causing Merida to spin on him with a glare. Killian would be lying, if he said he wasn’t used to this reaction from women, in fact when he and Emma first met, he was on the receiving end of many a patented Emma Swan glare.

“My brothers.” She told him through gritted teeth, and with a flash of empathy towards her, as he knew what one would do for family. He had turned pirate for his, then he turned hero for the chance at a new one. “They were kidnapped by the united clans of my country. Just three wee innocent boys. Savages!” she growled, swinging more vigorously at the branches in their path. “Because of me!” she snapped. “My father is… was the king. When he passed, they no longer approved of me being queen.” Merida explained. “In my land, people, well, men. They don’t think that a woman can lead.” She stated bitterly.

Killian chuckled, thinking of the way that people he’s come across in so many times and places, that thought women were lesser, he thought of Rumpelstiltskin, who spoke of his wife as though she were cattle. He thought of the pirates, whom he defeated in battle, would speak of the women in port as though they were nothing but pieces of meat. He even thought of the stories that Henry had told him of the people back home, the lengths they went to, to ensure that a man would remain in leadership. “I would wager to say, that it doesn’t end in yours. You should see some of the atrocities some men will turn to when a woman is placed in power.”

“Well, I’m going to show them. I need the wisp to lead me to my brothers, and when it does. I will save them. No matter the cost.” She said passionately.

Killian nodded. “Aye, I’ve learned in my life, to never underestimate a woman. She could start wars, and end them, without breaking a sweat. I should know” he stated, thinking of his Emma, so willing to do whatever it takes, this Merida reminded him so much of her, that it strengthened his resolve to beat this and get home.

Merida nodded, then she smirked. “If it’s war the clans want, then it’s war they’ll get.” Then she turned to continue on, and didn’t see the rock, until she was on the ground.

Killian winced, then hurried to help her up. He offered his hand, which she took readily, and pulled her to her feet. “You’ll do no one any good if you pass out from exhaustion, lass. When last did you sleep?” He asked her.

Merida was silent for a second. “What month is it?” she asked, then catching the look on his face, she sighed. “Fine! We can make camp.” She turned away, but then spun back, “But only till first light!” She called back.

Killian sighed, at least they would get some rest. With that in mind, he helped her gather the things they needed to make camp.

~~I’ll Fight It for You~~

Emma stood before the door to Zelena’s cell. She knew Regina was still pissed about the idea, but she really didn’t care. She didn’t need Regina’s permission to do this. She wasn’t even mayor anymore, but Emma was still the Sheriff. She opened the door and stepped inside.

“I see we’re going against Regina’s wishes again. I love it! Why couldn’t you be this interesting when we were fighting? I really must say, I love this new savior. The heartache looks great on you.”

“Shut up.” Emma snapped, as she walked in.

Zelena pouted, but displayed her wrist. “Right then, off we come.” She ordered, nodding to the cuff.

Emma raised her eyebrow, “really?” she asked, “and what, have you poof off to do whatever you like? No. It doesn’t come off, until right before you need to cast the spell.”

The witch frowned. “Fine.” She sulked, then she smiled again. “Then let’s make a new deal.”

“Negotiations are over, Zelena. You already said you’d help.” Emma shook her head. “We already made the deal.”  

“Now I want an amendment.” She explained. “You want the spell cast? Fine. Then here’s what I want, you can keep the magic cuff on me, but I refuse to live in captivity!” Zelena actually looked hurt. “I want only two things. Just two.”

Emma sighed. She knew that she needed Zelena. “And if you don’t get them, you won’t cast the spell.” She reasoned.

“It seems, that we’ve reached an impasse.” The witch said with a smirk.

“What do you want?” She asked.

Zelena smiled. “I want to be able to walk the streets, and be free to live my life, even if I need to keep the cuff on, and I want to be in my child’s life. You can’t let Regina take my child from me.”

Emma couldn’t believe that she was hearing this. Zelena wanted to be free for her child? The woman hadn’t done a single selfless thing since Emma met her, but then she thought about it. Raising Henry was what changed Regina. There was a possibility that it could help Zelena too. “On one condition.” Emma told her.

Zelena looked up at her with hopeful eyes. “What is it?”

Emma smirked. “I make a new cuff, that can’t come off with any cheap tricks, and I can control if you can use magic or not. Cuff on, or off. Call it a safeguard. I’m willing to work with you, but you need to give too.” Zelena looked like she was about to add something, but Emma stopped her, “and Robin gets joint custody. You may have forced this on him, but that is still his child. You get to be its mother, but he gets to be the father.”

Zelena smiled. “You have a deal.”

~~I’ll Fight It for You~~

Night fell quickly, and Killian wished he could say sleep came any easier, but it seemed, no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t fall asleep. For the fifth or sixth time, he had lost count, he rolled over, and he suppressed a shout, when Dark Emma was looking at him, mere inches from his face.

“Can’t sleep, handsome?” she asked in a smooth voice, she smiled at him sweetly. “I wouldn’t worry too much about that. Dark Ones? We don’t need sleep. Why do you think Gold, spins straw? It passes the time.” She mused. “You need a hobby.”

Killian bit back a groan, as Emma continued. “Do you like knitting? No wait, one hand… wood carving! You could replace the hook with a chisel!” she giggled at her own wit. “It’ll help take your mind off of all of the dark things you’ll do.”

He closed his eyes, trying to block out the visage. “If you haven’t noticed.” He bit out, “I’m doing good here.” He explained. “I’m helping Merida! Then, when she’s finished with the wisp, she’ll give it to me. No need to return to darkness!” he whispered harshly, glancing towards Merida, as Emma broke off in a peal of laughter.

“You are not that stupid!” She roared. “The wisp isn’t some doll at the daycare, that you can play with, once Maddie is all done ripping out her hair, and snapping off its legs! The person who whispers to it? They own it. Forever. No take backsies.” She explained, seeming to lose interest, as she toyed with her nails.

It hit him like a ton of bricks, but surely Merida would understand, would whisper to the wisp that they needed to find Merlin once her brothers were free. He looked to Merida’s sleeping form, and thought of what he would do. He wouldn’t care. He would have taken the wisp, and left those boys to die, and that was before he was the Dark One. “So, if I let Merida whisper to the wisp, I lose my chance at finding Merlin, it will never be able to be used again.”

“Not if you snap her neck. She won’t even feel it!” Emma informed him. “It’ll be quick.”

He sat up, glaring at the image. “You expect me to claim the wisp for myself?” he asked in disbelief.

Emma rolled her eyes. “I want you to stop being such a wimp, and act like what you are! A pirate, a dark one, a villain.” She said in a low voice.

“You wanted this to happen.” The realization began to dawn on him, the way Emma was goading him, this was a test, he needed to pass it. The way that she baited him, with small nudges towards harming Merida. “You want me to betray her!” He shook his head, he wouldn’t.

Emma clapped. “Now you get it! Good boy, now that we know what you need to do, let’s get to it. Shall we?”

~~I’ll Fight It for You~~

Emma stood in Regina’s office, taking the barrage of angry words, spilling from the ex-queen’s mouth. “It’s irresponsible! No! Absolutely not! I didn’t like it before, I sure as hell don’t like it now. Especially the part, where you made a deal to let her go free! Are you forgetting what she can do?”

Emma sighed. “Regina, I have a plan, something that will keep Zelena in check. For once, can you trust an idea, that doesn’t come out of your own head? Seriously, you don’t have that great of a track record.”

Regina shook her head, eyes flashing. “At least I’m not only thinking about my boyfriend! Hook is not more important than this town. He is certainly not worth the risk to Henry!” She shouted.

Behind her, Snow flinched, and David seethed. Henry looked between his moms with worry.

“How dare you?” Emma growled. “You think I’m being emotional? Well yeah, I have lost everyone I have ever cared about. Do you honestly think I would put my son in danger? I know what I’m doing, and I don’t give a crap what you think. You don’t want to help? Fine! Then don’t.” Emma took another step towards the ex-queen. “You are still so closed minded Regina, that you can’t see what’s in front of you. I already made the deal. It’s not up for discussion!”

“I hardly think it’s your call. You told her she could keep Robin’s child!” Regina shouted.

“No!” Emma shouted right back. “I told her she could be in its life! I told her she could be a mother! A choice you would never give her! A choice you wouldn’t even let me have! So yeah, I granted her joint custody, because it’s her baby too. You can’t just decide she’s not fit. When you adopted Henry, you were evil. Motherhood changed you. Why not give it a chance to change Zelena?” Emma ended with her voice an even and calm tone.

Regina looked shocked by her sudden change, but she also seemed thoughtful. “how are you going to make sure the cuff stays on? Lord knows if there’s some way to get it off, she’ll figure it out.”

Emma smiled, and pulled out a cuff. “With this. Once it’s on, it shrinks into the skin, and melds to her magic, and I can turn it on and off. Even if she cuts off her wrist, she won’t be able to use her magic. Think of it, as an insurance policy. She goes rogue? I flip the magic switch.” She tells her. “So are you done shouting at me?”

Regina looked at the cuff, impressed. “And it will work?”

Emma smiled. “Of course it will, I made it.”

[thebookofmuses]

Emma Swan tag dump

[skiesofathar-blog]

Emma Tag Dump

Tag dump for emma

[useyourrwords]

Month in Review // The Month From Hell – March

This month has given me more breakdowns than I can count.

So maybe it’s not the single worst month I’ve ever lived but honestly, it’s pretty high up there!

Between a car accident, still going through the mess of changing names, pain, oh so much fucking pain, a new doctor who doesn’t know how to help me, and an altercation I wish to just forget, I’m just about ready to hide under my blankets and never leave my room.

Unfortunately, that’s not an option and so I am sitting at me desk at work writing this instead.

If you would like to buy any of the following books please consider using my Book Depository Affliate link!

         Month’s TBR

│The Dream Thieves││

│Skylarks││

│The Surface Breaks││

│The Female of the Species│││

│Sharp Objects││

│Blue Lily, Lily Blue││

│Truly Devious││

│Khutulun│tatterhood│Agnodice│Te Puea Herangi│Moremi Ajasoro│Sybil Ludington│Kurmanjan Datka│Andamana│Mary Seacole│Florence Nightingale│Gráinne “Grace O’Malley” Ni Mháille│Rejected Princesses││

│Empress Xi Ling Shi│Hatsheput│Agnodice│Trung Trӑc & Trung Nhi│Fatima Al-Fihri│Bygone Badass Broads││

     Read

│The Surface Breaks│Lousie O’Neill│││││★★★★│Read Mar 13│

This book was so unapologetically feminist, I loved it.

│The Dream Thieves│The Raven Cycle #2│Maggie Stiefvater│││││★★★★★│Read Mar 25│

I think I jumped into this book too quickly after finishing the first so it took me a while to get through it but I got there eventually.

│Truly Devious│Truly Devious #1│Maureen Johnson│││││DNF Mar 22│

I don’t think fiction audiobooks are for me! at least not ones I haven’t already read. I’m switching to Non-Fic/memoirs and I’ll try rereading a fave eventually to see how I go with that.

│I’ve Got This Round│Mamrie hart││││

After realising ficiton audiobooks weren’t for me I needed a win so I returned Truly Devious for this because i love Mamrie and there’s no way I wouldn’t love this. I was right.

│Skylarks│Karen Gregory│││││

I’ve just been super invested in this one. I don’t know if it’s because i wasn’t reading it regularly since I normally read ARCs while I’m exercising…and I’ve not been exercising like at all this month. I don’t know. I’ll give it another go next month if I have time but otherwise it’ll probably be pushed back to May.

│Rad Girls Can│Kate Schatz│││││

I switched to this ARC since it’s only 112 pages and I figured SURELY I can finish this before the month is up. Nope. So April it is!

│Khutulun│tatterhood│Agnodice│Te Puea Herangi│Moremi Ajasoro│Sybil Ludington│Kurmanjan Datka│Andamana│Mary Seacole│Florence Nightingale│Gráinne “Grace O’Malley” Ni Mháille│Rejected Princesses│Jason Porath│││││

│Empress Xi Ling Shi│Hatsheput│Agnodice│Trung Trӑc & Trung Nhi│Fatima Al-Fihri│Bygone Badass Broads│Mackenzi Lee│││││

I didn’t do much but at least I got my entries read for both of these!

Book of the Month

│The Female of the Species│Mindy McGinnis││││││★★★★★│Read Mar 31│

Once I realised just how little I read this month and made myself power through this one and omg it was soooo good and worth it. I needed this book this month.

│Average Rating: 4.5★’s│ 5│

Structured TBR Pass or Fail?

│Must Read:  3/5│ 0/1│ 0/0│ 2/2│ 3/3│ 10/10│ 5/5│

│Allowances:  1/1│ 1/1│ 0/0│ 0/0│ 0/1│

Clearly this was a terrible reading month. I got hardly any reading done. I started off relatively strong but then I stopped exercising (for reasons I’ll go into further later in this post) so that was less time spent reading. And then I spent far more time watching TV when I should have been reading because Depression. And the audiobook wasn’t really working out for me so I didn’t get that read either. FUN.

     Haul

│Barbed Wire Heart│Tess Sharpe│││

I loved Far From You so when I saw this was available on Netgalley I knew I needed it! And it wasn’t even a request, just one you could immediately download and my international blogger heart is v. v. thankful.

│Vicious│Villains #1│V.E. Schwab││

│Vengeful│Villains #1│V.E. Schwab│││

If you’ve been paying attention to my hauls sections you’re probably thinking “doesn’t Grey already have both of these books and the answer to that is yes absolutely but listen.

I have the paperback copy of Vicious in the old cover art because i bought it years ago…Well my mum bought it for me years ago but same same.

Then it was announced that with the long-awaited release of Vengeful we’d get all new cover art so I knew I’d be re-buying the first no matter what.

And then the collector’s edition came out for Vicious.

So I bought that and then Book Depository listed the hardback for Vengeful as a collector’s edition and so I ordered that as a birthday present to myself.

Only I don’t actually think it is a collector’s edition because it doesn’t say so on the cover or anything but oh well.

So I finally have both books with new covers only I don’t want to read them because if I do, I’ll want to annotate them and I don’t annotate collector’s edition as a rule for myself.

So I had to buy the paperbacks. I just had to. My hands were tied. Did I really have the money to? No, but I’ve had a hard month so fuck it.

Past Grey Reads

 Book Review // Girl Made of Stars – I Am Broken

 Grey Reads // Everything’s On Fire and I Couldn’t Be Happier – Girls of Paper and Fire

 Grey Reads // Bloody Moors & Candy Castles – The Wayward Children 2 & 3

       Film & TV

Honestly I barely remember what I did actually watch.

Month’s TBW

│The Bold Type│Season 2││

│Brooklyn Nine-Nine│Season 6││

│RuPaul’s Drag Race│Season 11││

│I Am The Night│Season 1││

│The Umbrella Academy│Season 1││

│Russian Doll│Season 1││

│Sex Education│Season 1││

     Watched

│The Bold Type│Season 2││2017│ Sarah Watson│ Katie Stevens, Aisha Dee, Meghann Fahy│★★★★★│

This show is so fucking good, I’m not not so patiently waiting for the third season to come out next month!

│Brooklyn Nine-Nine│Season 6││2013│ Daniel J. Goor, Michael Schur│ Andre Braugher, Andy Samberg, Stephanie Beatriz│Watching weekly episodes│★★★★★│

The episode with the murder in the apartment and the making stupid promises to the mum and Jake slowly going crazy and Rosa with a different hair style every scene??? Iconic!

│RuPaul’s Drag Race│Season 11││2009│ RuPaul│RuPaul, Michelle Visage│Watching weekly episodes│★★★★★│

Between Miss Vanjie being the narrator of the season (and maybe my fave of all time), her hoemance with Brooke Lyn Heights, Yvie’s take no shit, own your shit attitude and Plastique’s fish???? I am in love with this season.

I could do without Silky’s obnoxious everything and R. Kelly style Untucked breakdowns but whatever.

│Russian Doll│Season 1││2019│  Leslye Headland, Natasha Lyonne, Amy Poehler│ Natasha Lyonne, Charlie Barnett, Greta Lee│★★★★★│

I am in love with Russian Doll and everything about it. It’s short, it’s smart, it’s quality TV and it’s fucking funny.

│Sex Education│Season 1││2019│ Laurie Nunn│ Asa Butterfield, Gillian Anderson, Emma Mackey│★★★★★│

This show is stupid funny but it’s also super intelligent and important. This is such a good show for teens to have easy access to and I can’t wait for the new season.

│Queer Eye│Season 3││2018│ Bobby Berk, Karamo Brown, Tan France │★★★★★│

This season had me crying my eyes out and I loved every second of it.

But my favourite moment is when Jody, on the first episode, comes out for the big reveal and the guys all lose their fucking minds! Especially Karamo’s and Antoni’s reactions. They were absolutely fucking gold.

│Game of Thrones│Season 1││2011│ David Benioff, D.B. Weiss│ Emilia Clarke, Peter Dinklage, Kit Harington│★★★★│

I mean, yes I am well aware of the problems Game of Thrones have and I am trash for it anyway. Is it as amazing as I initially thought?? Not at all but I’m in too deep now I can’t just not watch the final season.

So here I am re-watching the entire show with my mum to drag it out just a little longer and hopefully by the time we’re all caught up the final season, in it’s entirety, will be well and truly out.

I just have to try and avoid spoilers until then…which should actually be very easy because of something I’ll announce in my Month Ahead post.

Me after this month.

     Music

│YUNGBLUD│11 Minutes + Halsey│Loner│Falling Skies + Charlotte Lawrence│

│Dodie│Burned Out│

│Troye Sivan + Lauv│i’m so tired…│

│Noah Cyrus│Sadness│Good Cry│

│Julia Michaels│Anxiety + Selena Gomez│Happy│

│Steve Aoki│Waste It on Me + BTS│

Past Grey Watches

 Grey Watches // I Hate It So Much I Love It – A Christmas Prince

 Grey Watches // It Has To Be A Shit Show – A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding

 Grey Watches // I Wanna Bone Jude Law and Kate Winslet – The Holiday

Use Your Words Highlights

 Grey Reads // Bloody Moors & Candy Castles – The Wayward Children 2 & 3

 Top Ten Tuesday // Audible and Overdrive Are My Lords & Saviors – My Audiobook TBR

     Blogosphere Highlights

│Laura @ The Book Corps│#UNSOLVEDATHON: A BUZZFEED UNSOLVED READATHON — ANNOUNCEMENT AND SIGN UP!│#UNSOLVEDATHON BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS!│

│Elise @ The Bookish Actress│Why I’m Not Honestly That Excited for Game of Thrones: Season Eight│Eighteen Things I’ve Learned In My First Eighteen Years│

│Krystin @ Here’s The Fucking Twist│True Crime Tuesday: The Moors Murders│

│Jamieson @ Jamishelves│IF YOU LIKE THIS BOOK YOU’LL LIKE THIS TV SHOW !│

│Vicky @ Vicky Who Reads│Stressed About College? These Book Recs Are For You!│

│Ellyn @ Allonsythornraxxbooks│5 TIPS ON ANNOTATING YOUR BOOKS!│

│Marie @ Drizzle & Hurricane Books│10 YA BOOKS DEALING WITH ANXIETY│

│Avery @ Red Rocket Panda│DOWN THE TBR HOLE | USING THE #KONMARIE METHOD FOR MY PHYSICAL SHELVES│

│Fadwa @ Word Wonders│#DIVERSEBOOKBLOGGERSDISCUSS: THE FANTASY OF HISTORICAL ROMANCE│(SOME) BOOK BLOGGING PRESSURES & HOW TO FIGHT THEM│WORD WONDERS’ TBR EXPANSION: BOOKS WITH EAST AND SOUTH EAST ASIAN MAIN CHARACTERS│MY PRODUCTIVITY TOOLS – OR HOW TO BE A MASTER ORGANIZER!│

│Aurora @ Aurora Librialis│5 Book Quotes for International Women’s Day│

│Swetlana @ The Caffeinated Bookworm Life│6 Reasons To Watch On My Block│

│Qui @ The Black Lit Queen│Diversity vs. Representation|BLQ Quick Guide│

│Madeline @ Caffeine & Writing Dreams│How to Write Scenes that Balance Plot & Character // Scene and Sequel Sequences│

Past Month In Review

 Month in Review // Christmas is Over Thank Fuck – December

 January in Review // I Cried, Laughed, Ate Pasta, Celebrated My Birthday & Completed TWO Read-A-Thons/Challenges

 Month in Review // I FINALLY CHANGED MY NAME – February

Month’s Goals

 Get my mental health plan

 Book a therapy session I have to wait until April ahhhhhhhh

 Get a massage from mum —I just always forget okay

 Try and take a mental health day

 Try and take a mental health day later in the month

 Keep my shit together —HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

 Start journaling —I will get to this eventually…

 Quit soft drink 

 Start floor exercises—I keep adding this and never get around to it. —I couldn’t even go for my walks for most of the month so…

 Try and read 5 books —I can’t even say I tried. 

 Don’t waste all my time on The Sims 

 Go to Writers Week

Considering how shit this month was I count 7/12 goals reached a fucking accomplishment!

My Nightmare Month

So it started well enough. I went to Writers Week on two different days and thoroughly enjoyed myself! but then i got into a car accident on the way to my third day.

Which was stressful and anxiety inducing. It’s been a nightmare to work through all the aftermath. I didn’t know if the accident would be covered by insurance or if I would even hear from the person who hit me. And then when I did get the good news of being covered I basically had to micromanage the insurance company because they did everything slow and I couldn’t afford slow. So that was loads of phone calls which is something that causes me anxiety so YAY.

It’s mostly all sorted out. I still need to take my plates in and get a refund on my rego which I tried to do a couple days ago and got frustrated so that’s a task for another day.

     I did get to go to the Fringe Festival and see Daniel Sloss’s new comedy special which was absolutely brilliant! He talked about rape culture and really put the onus on men and how they need to work and go out of their way to think critically of themselves and society and what they can do to dismantle rape culture. I laughed and sobbed. My mum nearly pissed herself laughing and it was a great night out with to die for Sri-Lankan food hot buttered squid will blow your fucking mind! and I discovered that I like to drink Pimms.

     Throughout the month I’ve still been sorting out my name change because that is a long and drawn out process of changing my name everywhere and hitting road blocks constantly has be incredibly frustrating but I’m nearly finished!

I have also been doing all of this while in incredible pain because chronic illness.

My March mood

     Basically my feet have been very painful, I knew the solution, doctor refused me, mum took me to a doctor who knows our history and I got the solution so I can actually start walking regularly again which will help my mental health loads.

My mum also took me to replace all of my shoes which was both expensive and needed so I have the best shoes for walking and working and running around doing errands and going out!

I was ready to end the month on a positive. Sure the start had rattled me a lot, and I was big depressed because of pain for most of it but I did have a few great experiences and I’d resolved almost all the long running issues.

     And then while I was waiting for mum to finish work a couple of days ago, I sat and read in the foodcourt.

A man approached me and invaded my personal space and stared at me, knowing it would make me uncomfortable, so uncomfortable that it distracted me from the fact he was trying to steal my purse.

Thankfully I noticed at the last minute and grabbed it back because I would have been a fucking mess if I had gone to all the trouble replacing everything in my purse with my new name on it, only to have to do it all over again because someone stole my it all.

The man walked off but I would be lying if I said it didn’t terrify me. The way he stared at me was so unnerving and I don’t handle people being in my personal space…like at all. Even people I know and trust have to always ask permission first. I don’t let men I know in my personal space at all because I know what men are capable of. But to have a man I don’t know get in my face with the purpose to make me uncomfortable, especially after the month I’ve had, was enough for me to completely come undone.

I’m thankful for the cleaner for checking up on me, even though I burst into tears, and I’m thankful for the girl who approached me after as well to try and be supportive.

She had fire in her eyes and in that moment I had wished that that was what I looked like instead of the girl I was, not being able to hold back tears and trying to keep calm in the middle of an anxiety attack.

More than anything, I’m thankful for my mum for being so supportive and understanding and being exactly what I needed her to be and for calling out the men who made things worse, while trying to help, when I didn’t have the strength to.

I’ve argued with myself on whether to share this and maybe I might delete it all before it gets published, but I think it’s important for women to share their experiences with how men have preyed upon them, whether sexually or not, and how men continue to use their power to get what they want from us, regardless of the negative impact it has on us.

I just—girls, women, know that if something like this happens to you, if something worse happens to you, it’s not your fault, it’s never your fault. The way you react to it is right because it’s your experience and your emotions. I’m trying to remind myself of that. 

And men, know that if you’re not actively trying to stop this shit from happening, aren’t pulling your friends up for those gross comments they make, then you’re part of the fucking problem. I don’t want to hear that you personally would never do this. That shit isn’t enough. It’s never been enough. This all lies at your feet and fuck you for helping to hold up a society that makes us think any of it is our own fault.

And if something like this happens to a girl or woman you know then ask her what she needs, ask her the best way for you to help. Because nine times out of ten the way you react naturally is going to be the complete fucking opposite of what she needs and you might make things worse. And that’s on you, not her.

Past Month Ahead

 Month Ahead // Happy Birthday To Me + Hiatus Announcement – January

 February Ahead // I’m Finally Going To Read The Raven Cycle Series & It’s Black History Month + A Great Resource for Education!!!!!

 Month Ahead // Writers Week, Comedy & Too Much To Do – March

Thank fuck March is over.

What did you do this month? What did you read? What did you watch? What posts did you write that you’re super proud of?

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[intelwon]

𝐄𝐌𝐌𝐀 𝐒𝐖𝐀𝐍 𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐒  ( 𝟐 / ??? )   ꜰᴛ. @honesta​​’s ɢʀᴀʜᴀᴍ ʜᴜᴍʙᴇʀᴛ

𝙿𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙾𝙽𝙰𝙻𝚂 𝙳𝙾 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝚁𝙴𝙱𝙻𝙾𝙶 𝙼𝚄𝚃𝚄𝙰𝙻𝚂 𝙼𝙰𝚈 𝚁𝙴𝙱𝙻𝙾𝙶

[captainfile]

atlas (9/11)

uranus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTeyHHGOSsA

words: 1384

ocs: amber, amber’s family

what effect could a marble, cracked and filled with molten rock, have on a god with the world at his fingertips? oh, none, but knocking the world from his shoulders and the wind from his chest.

"cheaters never win," Amber whispers, when Pan yells it. Slightly is the first to appear, with a scar marring his normally cooled visage, cracking through his brow and across his cheek. next Nibs, and then Cubby, with all of her hair trimmed to look like a boy's, and then Curly, and then Tootles, and Amber shakes with wide eyes while Hook warns them all of the Dreamshade that could very well be their end. Amber feels the call to arms in her bones, and freezes on the spot. "it's been a while, Captain." "not long enough." "Amber." "remember what I did to Rufio? well it's a far worse fate for you." "Amber." "where is Henry? where is he?" "Amber." Amber opens her eyes. the Lost Boys are gone, the adults are distraught, and Charming is bleeding. Regina stands over Amber, snapping her fingers impatiently. Amber doesn't tell them about their surroundings after they leave the burial grounds, mostly because Hook begins leading them to someone he knows, but Amber herself doesn't. they come upon a treehouse after Amber diffuses the traps she remembers from hunting with Slightly. it isn't her best work, but she keeps them all alive. "okay, so this is where they're keeping Henry in Pan's compound, according to, uh-" "Tinker Bell," the fairy finishes for Emma. the group convinced her to help, and brought her to the clearing by the cliff. "yeah, I know, still weird to say," Emma sighs, clearly having seen or read the skewed fairytales in her own childhood. "Tink is fine," the fairy suggests, but Emma shakes her head. "not sure that's any better. anyway, she," the Savior points a stick at Tinker Bell, "says that there are sentries positioned across the front, which is why we are going to come in through the back entrance here. she'll talk her way in, once she makes sure the coast is clear, then we sneak on in." "you'll still have to deal with any Lost Boys once you're inside," the fairy nods, but seems optimistic, compared to when they were convincing her. Regina smirks. "I think we can handle a few children with pointy sticks," she suggests. Amber makes a face and tears her shoes off, taking advantage of the adults' focus on Henry to feel Neverland through her toes. "it's not the sticks you need to worry about, it's the poison they're dipped in." "Dreamshade, Hook warned us," Snow mutters thoughtfully, eyeing the map Emma drew in the dust. "good, because one nick, and you'll spend your last-" "poison sticks equal death," Charming says too loudly, "we got it. now," he turns to the map, "when can we put this rescue mission into action?" "I'm ready to go," Tinker Bell shrugs. Amber stands and spins Hook's knife between her thumb and forefinger. "just as soon as you tell me the exit plan." "magic beans, if you'd fall for that," Amber informs the fairy, who nods, but then Charming shakes his head. "it- it was more of a last minute trip? there's no more beans," Snow announces nervously, and Amber squints at her while Tink shouts at the trees and then leaves. "so who has made it off this island without Pan's permission?" "one man," Hook murmurs, then nods to Emma. "her partner in crime, Neal. and I think we can find out how, follow me." "Mary Margaret, stay with Amber," Charming orders as they leave. Snow nods quickly but doesn't sit, instead pacing circles around the fire. "why did you take your shoes off?" she suddenly asks, stopping on the far side from Amber and frowning at her. Amber looks down at her dusty feet and smiles faintly, then runs her heels along the ground, feeling the push and pull of the land's breaths. "there's more to this island than some dirt, trees, and a boy king," Amber scoffs, while the ground beneath her warms. "it has its own shadow, its own heartbeat, its own extensions that you burn to keep warm," Amber nods to the flames. "of all the universes out there, this is the most beautiful, so why would I keep boundaries?" "maybe because Pan could kill you?" Snow scoffs, confusion and impatience coloring her round cheeks. "maybe he stole your only friend, maybe-" "hey," Regina calls. "how can we catch a Lost Boy?" while Amber is tasked with building a trap worthy of Slightly and catches a boy she doesn't recognize but doesn't want to show her face to, Hook and Charming leave on a wild goose chase, and then Pan tells Hook that Neal is alive. Amber didn't know Henry's father was dead in the first place, but it seems to shake the group to a considerable extent- Emma stares at a tree, Hook looks guilty, Charming is ready to leave to find him, and Regina accuses Pan of messing with them. Snow points out that someone may have walked past the camp while she and Amber were arguing, to which Amber herself laughs, but only quietly. their search leads them to Echo Cave, where they all have to reveal secrets. Hook confesses his feelings for Emma, Snow wants a baby, Charming shuts her down, and they look between Emma and Amber for who will tell the last secret. Amber steps forward. "I was born in New York," she states, simple, easy- "I lived there for seventeen years in poverty before I was brought here, but I'll never go back," she adds when the bridge doesn't move. it still doesn't. "my family loved me," she sighs. the bridge builds on itself, clearing a path for Emma to run across and hug Henry's father. "didn't know that was possible, for a Lost Boy," he remarks once they've left the cave. "thank you." Amber just curls her lip at him. but, since he knows how to get off the island, they regroup at the campsite and split up to catch Pan's shadow and find Tinker Bell. the next step is to break into the camp. "I believe this is where I leave you, folks." "you're coming back with us," Emma insists while Tink gathers her things. Amber shakes her head with a slanted smile. "I'd never do that willingly, Savior, and without Regina or Rumpelstiltskin, you can't drag me with you," she shrugs, but of course, that's when the mentioned villains make their entrance. "well," Regina drawls, "if this is your version of a rescue party, then you're right on time. Pandora's Box," she presents, gesturing to the Dark One. he holds a small cube with a red gem on top. "we can trap Pan for eternity simply by opening the lid." "there's a prophecy that says he'll die if Henry lives-" at Neal's announcement, everyone draws their weapons. even Amber flips Hook's knife and bends her knees, ready to disable the adult. "alright, Voldemort, hand over the box," she suggests. "as if you're so much more trustworthy, Lost Boy." "hand it over," Neal snaps, and the Dark One obeys. "no magic, or you're going in, no matter how selfless you claim to be." they hike, and Snow talks to Charming about what to do with the Lost Boys once they've defeated Pan. Amber glares at them as loudly as they can. Tinker Bell is suspicious, but doesn't say anything until they see the camp through the trees. "we're here," she announces in a hiss to the rest of the group. "Pan's perimeter." "sneak us in like we planned. grab Henry, in and out, simple," Emma orders, gesturing here and there to assign everyone jobs. "and Amber," she finally addresses the Lost Boy of the group. "what would you have me do but run, oh Savior?" Amber wonders, tilting her chin up in defiance and looking down at Emma. the adult doesn't seem to have an answer to that, and looks to her companions for any suggestions. "you'll be our last line of defense between Pan and Henry," Neal suggests, "in case all of us fail, maybe he'll listen to a former Lost Boy who's actually loyal to him." that's good enough for Amber- she hardly expects they'll fail if they work together, and if they do, it's better for her- they won't have anything on her, and she can stay in Neverland. "okay. let's go."

[hungrywhovianjedi]

It Hurts To See You and Him book two: I’ll Fight It for You: chapter 4

New Dark One, Killian Jones, finds himself in a frighteningly familiar situation, as he struggles against the aftermath of protecting his love. Emma Swan and the hero gang is left in shock after the sudden disappearance of the Pirate, and now must figure out how to get wherever the Dagger has taken Killian, before the darkness can swallow him whole.

Read where it all began: : Prologue, chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6chapter 7 Epilogue

IHTSYH Also on: FFN

The rest of this story:Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

I’ll Fight It for You also on: FFN

The spinoff: The prologue, Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

If I Never Leave also on: FFN

Tagging a few who showed interest: @andiirivera @teamhook @nerdywitchstudentl9 @unlikelycheesecakeenthusiastp6 @revanmeetra87 @the-corsair-and-her-quill 

Killian came around the tree, and found it odd that Merida was still curled under her cloak. She still hadn’t stirred. He had been scavenging them some food, and he thought for sure he would have found her awake, and fretting the way she had the day before. Something was off, he moved to the prone figure, and he noted she was lumpier than she should be, and hi heart dropped, he reached out to the robe, and found that it covered a pile of sticks and stones, and Merida was gone.

“No.” He whispered. “no, no, no, no. This isn’t happening.”

“I told you, this would happen. If you had heard you last night, you would have run too. She’s just doing what you would have done.” Emma said in a bored tone. “All of this could have been avoided you know. If you had only just killed her, when you had the chance.”

“Where is she?” Killian pondered.

Emma chuckled. “She’s doing, what I’ve been trying to get you to do, since you woke up, babe. She’s taking care of herself first.” She exuded boredom, where she rested against a tree. “So now, Merida, is going to whisper to that wisp, and it will all be over for you. Well, unless you do, what we both know needs to done.”

“I won’t hurt an innocent girl!” Killian boomed. “I promised. I promised I would be a better man. Better men don’t kill people, who get in their way.”

“That’s why they always say” Emma told him evenly. “Nice guys, finish last.”

He was spiraling, he knew this Emma wasn’t real, he couldn’t listen to her. He needed to find Merida, maybe he could talk to her, get her to help him, maybe she could ask the wisp to help him find Merlin, it couldn’t be that hard. He needed to get to the hill of stones. He needed to get there before Merida. He knew how he would do it, he would simply have to talk to this visage of Emma, one last time.

“What does the hill of stones look like?” he asked her, blue eyes meeting with the cold calculating stare of the woman before him.

She smiled, an almost truly genuine smile. “I knew you would eventually listen to me. Unfortunately, you said you wouldn’t use dark magic.” She pouted for effect.

“Tell me!” Killian demanded.

Emma smirked. “I wouldn’t want to make you turn to darkness, now would I?”

He felt his irritation grow. “What does, the bloody hill look like?”

She let out a long laugh. “Well, if you insist.”

~~I’ll Fight It for You~~

When Emma removed the cuff, Zelena sighed in relief, but then pouted, as Emma secured the new cuff into place.

“How am I supposed to bring you to your pirate, if I can’t use magic, dear?” She raised an eyebrow at her. “For a savior, you’re not that great at saving.”

Emma gave her a sweet smile, and placed the wand in her hand, as well as the drawing of Milah, he kept in his cabin aboard the Jolly. “Well, if you really asked nicely, I could tell you all about your new cuff. It has a few upgrades.”

The witch raised an eyebrow, as Emma continued. “It’s simple. This cuff, can only be removed by me, or someone that I have given permission to, and I can turn your magic on and off, when convenient.” Emma explained, then a warm tingle went up Zelena’s arm, and she watched as glowing veins appeared going up her arm, before they disappeared. “and that? That is my security system, even if you remove the cuff, it goes nowhere. You will still be a squib. So, I wouldn’t even bother.” Emma informed her.

“A squib?”

Emma smirked. “You’ve never read Harry Potter, have you?”

Zelena shook her head.

“It means, you can’t use your magic.”

“So, you have basically put a magical shock collar on me, like some common dog?”

Emma shrugged. “I also gave you a chance to do some good, which is why when we get back here, you won’t be locked back up in your padded cell. So? We had a deal. I haven’t activated it yet, so you can still use magic, so, take us to Killian.” Emma instructed.

Zelena clenched her jaw, but nodded, and as Emma watched, she began to circle the drawing with the wand, magic building in a glow at the tip, and when it glowed brighter than a lightbulb, she flung it outwards, so that it hovered over Granny’s. “Right then, there we are, that twister, will take you to your pirate.” She told them, “My part is done.”

Emma shook her head. “Actually, no. You need to bring us back too. It won’t be that easy, sweetheart.” Emma told her, as she waved a hand over Zelena’s cuff, and it glowed. “But, I won’t risk you betraying us. No magic”

Zelena scowled, but was ignored, as Emma led the way to Granny’s diner, and towards Killian.

~~I’ll Fight It for You~~

Killian was running up the hill, when the wisp flew away, it was over, he was too late. Merida had beat him there. “No!” He cried. “Don’t you realize what you’ve done?”

Merida spun, with her bow raised. “Aye, I do! Stay back!” Killian began to circle. “I don’t know what kind of witch you are, but don’t come any closer.”

Killian tried to step closer. “Please.”

“I don’t know, what you are, or what sort of voices you’ve got in your wee head, but I heard everything!” She cried, and Killian saw fear in her eyes.

“What’s she saying? I think the accent’s a bit much. I can’t understand a word she’s saying, can you?” Emma asked with a smirk.

He ignored her, knowing talking to the imaginary woman wouldn’t help. “Please, you don’t understand, I don’t know how much you heard, but you misunderstood me!” he pleaded. “I mean you, no harm.”

“Is that why you were talking of ‘claiming the wisp’ for yerself, or how about ‘you want me to betray Merida’ I think that sounds a bit like I understood perfectly, don’t ye?” She demanded. “I don’t need your lies. I need the wisp, for my brothers, so turn around and go!”

Killian didn’t back down, there was still hope. Emma sighed behind him. “She’s baiting you.”

“Now get out of here.” Merida warned.

“there once was a Scottish princess, that lost her heart. You know the start of this one. Take her heart.” Emma giggled.

“I’m warning you witch!” Merida’s bow began to shake.

“What are you waiting for, Hook? Come on, dark one, you know what to do!” Emma goaded. “crush her heart!” she told him.

He felt the darkness snaking up inside of him, the desire to make the girl pay for double crossing him, growing. He felt his anger bubble up, for the first time since he became the dark one, he felt the desire to be a dark one. He wanted to listen to the image of Emma, he felt the desire to rip out her heart, and make her pay. Then Milah flashed behind his eyes, falling dead, as her heart slipped through Rumpelstiltskin’s fingers and he felt a resounding guilt, that fought to beat back the waves of darkness. Killian closed his eyes against the war that waged within.

~~I’ll Fight It for You~~

Emma closed the door of the diner, as Granny bustled about the back room, securing anything that wasn’t already bolted down. Zelena sat in the corner of the diner, scowling at the fact she was being forced along.

“Alright everybody, it’s coming. If you haven’t already, find something to hold onto.” Emma warned.

Regina looked up from where she stood by the bar, “How do we even know this will take us to Hook?” She demanded. “What if Zelena cast in to send us to Oz or something?”

Emma glanced at Zelena. “I have a failsafe.” She told them. “This portal isn’t going anywhere that it’s not supposed to.”

The door suddenly swung open and three of the dwarves rushed in, led by, surprise, surprise, Grumpy. “Twister!” the grouchy man cried, despite the fact that anyone he would be informing was well within speaking distance.

“Leroy!” Snow snapped, as she tried to sooth Emma’s brother, and Emma rolled her eyes.

“Relax, we summoned it.” She told him. “It’s all under control.”

“You summoned it?” Leroy demanded. “Why would you summon it?”

The savior sighed. “Because It’s taking us to Killian.”

“Yes, so get out, Dwarves. Adults only.” Regina snapped.

“No!” Leroy shouted, even as the other dwarves looked dejectedly towards the door.

“No?” Happy asked, seemingly unhappy about the decision.

“We’re staying!” Leroy shouted.

“We are?” Happy asked again.

Leroy looked at Snow, then back at Emma. “We’ve been on the sidelines too long, sister. Missed too many adventures.” Leroy explained. “Now it’s embarrassing! How do you think it feels to be asked how the adventure was, and you gotta say that ‘nobody asked you to go along, that you weren’t needed’? We’re not turning our back again.” Leroy told them. “Not even in the face of certain death.”

Emma was more than a little confused, she could understand not wanting to be left behind, but the Dwarves didn’t even like Killian the last she checked, then it hit her, her mom was Snow White, of course where she went, at least three of the dwarves would follow, so when her mom gave a soft thank you to the dwarves, even as Happy asked if Leroy truly meant certain death, they weren’t coming for Killian. They were coming for Snow White.

Without warning, it was like an earthquake hit, and Emma scrambled to grab hold of the bar, as she watched her parents form a protective arch over her brother, and they felt the diner release its hold on the ground, and she couldn’t help the smile that formed. They were on their way to save her pirate.

               ~~I’ll Fight It for You~~

The war waged on in his head, he couldn’t take her heart! She hadn’t done anything wrong! ‘She stood in your way, when you had salvation in your grasp’ his subconscious told him.

“Do it Killian. Time is wasting, every moment you dawdle here, is a moment, not spent looking for Merlin!” The visage of Emma goaded.

The voice of the dark one that could have been hardened his resolve, and he looked away from Merida. “I won’t kill her.” He gasped, trying to block out the voice of the dark Emma.

“You got that right.” Merida said, and that was the only warning he got, before an arrow was flying at his chest. Reflexively he caught it. Holding it level with where it was about to strike, just above his heart. He looked at the arrow in shock, not only because he caught it, but Merida fired upon him, without even the slightest bit of provocation! He had just told her, he wouldn’t hurt her, and this is how he’s repaid?  He glares at Merida, and he sees the color drain from her face, and for a moment he relishes in it, before he comes back to himself, as she ducks behind trees.

“Use your anger.” Emma goaded. “Feel the power of the dark side.” He knew it was a reference, but he didn’t have the present mind to know from what, only that it was something his Emma had quoted once. He wouldn’t give the specter the satisfaction of listening to her, even in his rage.

“I can talk to her.” He whispered, and Merida must have heard.

“I don’t want to talk, to a madman!” she called out to him, before Merida swung out, and fired another arrow. He caught it as effortlessly as the last.

“You need to find Merlin, Dark One.” Emma warned, as he caught another arrow. “You need the wisp.” Another arrow. “Kill her.” She ordered. Merida fired again. “Kill her, Killian! Kill her!” Emma demanded, as the arrows came faster, and Merida’s shots became more frantic, and desperate. Emma’s goading became more insistent, until he actually began to feel the urge in his chest, to tear out her heart. Surely a quiver of arrows later had earned it. He imagined Milah, then chased her out of his mind. Merida wasn’t Milah. Milah hadn’t deserved it. Merida was practically begging for it.

“Enough!” He shouted, and Merida froze. He raised a hand, and she was pulled to him. “I warned you.” He bit out. “Not to test me. I wasn’t going to hurt you.”

“But now you are?” Merida’s voice quivered with real fear, but Killian didn’t care, as he plunged his hand into her chest, feeling the thrum of her heart as he clutched it in his hand, and he pulled, feeling a sickening snap, as it came loose, and he held her still beating heart in his hand. The magical organ glowing in his grasp.

“So pretty.” Emma said softly, in his ear. “Crush it to dust.”

He began to clench his fingers around the heart, and Merida began to gasp.

“Killian!” Emma cried, and he thought for a moment she was shocked by his actions, how was that possible? She was the one who told him to do it! “Killian, please! Don’t do this!”

In an instant he loosened his grasp on the heart.

“What are you doing?” Emma demanded, right in his ear, closer than the other call had been, he looked up, and there, in red leather and all, stood his Emma, without a hint of darkness to her.

“Killian, stop. Don’t do this.” She said gently. “You don’t want to do this.”

“Stay back, lassie!” Merida choked out, “He’ll kill you!”

“No.” Emma stated simply. “No, he’d never hurt me, no matter what darkness is in him. He won’t hurt you either.” She walked towards him, hand raised in a gentle show of support. “I know you don’t want to hurt her, Killian.”

“How?” He asked, and he wasn’t sure what question he asked. Did he ask how she got there? How she knew he wouldn’t hurt her? How he wasn’t supposed to hurt Merida?

Emma seemed to understand, “It doesn’t matter, when has anything stopped me before? I’ll always find you, no matter what. Now, put the heart down.”

“You don’t understand.” He started. “Merlin. I need to find Merlin, the wisp is the only way.” He told her.

“That’s right, she has the wisp, kill her, and it’s yours.” The visage said from over his shoulder.

“This is the only way.” He said in a broken whisper, knowing that in doing this, he was destroying all of the work he had done to better himself for Emma. “It’s the only way to stop the darkness, to stop it from hurting you.” He said, eyes on Emma, and he saw her heart break for him. “She has to die.”

“No Killian!” Emma pleaded. “We’ll find another way, together. Just like we always do. I know you don’t want to go back to who you were before.” She had tears in her eyes, and he felt them spring into his own.

“You don’t understand, what’s at stake. If I don’t find Merlin, the darkness will consume all of you. The dark one destroys everything near it.”

“Killian, please. Listen to me.” Emma began again, and he felt the warm touch of her on his shoulder, and he felt a peace in the contact, that he hadn’t felt since he woke here.

“Look at the Crocodile, luv. Look at what he’s done to those he loves.” He meets her eyes, and he see’s pain in the emerald depths. “I can’t do that to you.” He squeezed the heart again. “She has to die.” He whispered again.

“Listen to yourself, Killian. That isn’t you. That’s the darkness, fight back! I know you can, because I’ve seen you do it before! I know you! I trust you. I love you.” Emma begged, and suddenly it seemed like the fog lifted. What was he doing? He made a pact so many years ago, no matter how he may kill, he would never do it like this. The cowards way, this truly wasn’t him, this was the demon on his shoulder in black leather.

He looked at the heart in his hand, disgusted with himself. He closed his eyes, chasing away the last doubtful thoughts, then he looked up at Merida, the fear in her eyes growing, with undertones of pain. He knew what it felt like to have your heart ripped from his body, how it felt to have it crushed in someone’s hands, what was he thinking? He truly was a monster if he put her through this. She had every right to try and kill him, he would have done it too. After another second, he thrust the heart back into its place in Merida’s chest, and he felt like the tethers that were holding him together, snapped, and he stumbled back, needing to get away, but a gentle hand on his wrist stopped him, before Emma. His Emma pulled him to her, and he folded into her arms, like she was the only real thing left in his world, and it was very possible she was.