#the safety nets we have are incredibly small

[llycaons]

working in healthcare is absolutely heartbreaking bc of the number of illnesses and accidents and tragic social situations you see just because of lack of shelter or money...like I don't see it so much directly anymore bc of my specific unit but in school it was omnipresent. and the 'solutions' we could offer were insulting. they were a joke. what they needed was guaranteed safe shelter and food and transportation! like beyond being guaranteed basic preventative healthcare which they should have anyway, literally the basic foundation of being physically well is having SHELTER...

[bird-inacage]

Net x James: An important reminder that BL partnerships consist of two individuals and they are not just a single entity.

So the Netjames news has been a notable bombshell in the fandom of late, and I've been quietly observing this as it unfolded earlier this week, particularly the varying reactions and discourse around it.

In his statement, James explained that his current career goals are moving in a different direction, which has resulted in him pulling out of 'Love Upon a Time', and by extension his acting partnership with Net. He wants to explore his other avenues as an artist, whereas Net is presumably focused on acting for now.

With BL partnerships, we often see the two co-stars tied at the hip. Its part of the gig and it comes with the territory. They don't just work together on their project, but they do a huge amount of activity (both public and private) outside of that. They travel, perform, they do fan meets, press events, and spend a huge amount of time together as a twosome. So we get accustomed to seeing them as a united entity, which means news like this tends to hit harder because it feels akin to a divorce. This is one of the pitfalls of the Thai BL industry. When you create a narrative around two people who exclusively come as a package, it makes it incredibly difficult for both the actors themselves and fans to accept or make peace with any possible deviation from that. I think it's natural for any actor or artist to desire collaboration with different people: to develop their craft, to further their experience, to broaden their versatility. If sticking to only one working partner 'for life' doesn't work for them, I completely empathise with that.

In their recent Instagram lives, Net and James were clearly sad and their feelings still very raw. This led to a lot of speculation regarding any ill-feeling or fall out between the two. But such accusations can be harmful. Even in an amicable or mutual break-up where ending a relationship is in both parties' best interests - the two people involved are still grieving. Being brutally honest and transparent with someone close to you, that things can no longer continue as they are, isn't easy. If fans feel upset, just imagine how difficult this is on them both. When you've been nurtured as a partnership from the get go, your co-star whose always been at your side provides a sense of safety and familiarity. And the prospect of now moving forward without them is a scary new unknown. On top of that, they probably feel an immense amount of pressure and guilt in digesting the potential fallout and response from their fans. There will be trepidation in how well their careers will fare in the immediate aftermath.

Despite this, there are also positives to be taken from this decision. Arguably, Net and James were still in the early stages of their partnership. Bed Friend really put them on the map as a couple. So for James to come forward with this realisation now, before they got too established as a pairing was a responsible thing to do. I'm sure the last thing anyone wants is for their favourite artists to feel stuck or obliged to continue working together, which would undoubtedly lead to feelings of resentment eventually.

So respectfully, these instances are not to be taken personally or to be deemed as a betrayal of your support. After all, what we know of these artists is only a very small piece of their identities as people. It's okay to be devastated, but be respectful of their wishes. You can choose to continue supporting them as individuals, or choose to no longer support them at all - either way, you are perfectly valid and entitled to your choice, just extend the same courtesy back and be mindful of casting unfair judgement on their choice.

For me, it is admittedly a shame because I did see great potential in them both as a pair, and they had fantastic chemistry which could have been nurtured with more time and experience. Regardless, I truly believe they both have immense love for one another, and I wish them both the very best. They've just come to terms with the fact they no longer share the same vision for what they want in their careers. And that's okay.

(I will always be grateful that they gave us THIS iconic moment).

[orcinus-veterinarius]

Hiya! Would you be willing to explain why keeping captive right whales is completely nonviable, as you mentioned? I’m fascinated, but the adhd simply will not let me parse scientific papers.

That's a fantastic question! While it would be wonderful if captive breeding were a viable option for this critically endangered species, it just isn't possible under any realistic conditions.

For starters, their size. Orcas are the largest mammals successfully held in captivity, and we all know how difficult (and controversial) that is, with only a very small handful of facilities ever pulling it off with any semblance of success. Tilikum, the largest captive orca (although I believe that record has since been overtaken by a male in China), was 22.5 feet (6.9 meters) long and weighed 12,500 pounds (5,700 kg). Most other orcas in human care, particularly the females, are considerably smaller. Compare that to a northern right whale. Even the smallest adults are over 40 feet long—double Tilikum's length—and weigh 88,000 pounds (40,000 kg)—seven times his weight—while the biggest specimens on record reached up to 61 feet (18.5 m) and an incredible 234,000 pounds (106,000 kg).

A tank for an animal that size would be far beyond anything we have the ability to engineer and maintain. Think of how deep it would have to be for the whale to even turn around! The water pressure would be astronomical, wreaking havoc on the building materials even if it were possible to build the structure. And remember—someone has to dive to clean it! Our theoretical right whale habitat would have to be a sea pen, but even the 100-acre facilities proposed with orcas in mind are nowhere near deep enough. While right whales are considered to inhabit "coastal" waters, they do not live right up by the shoreline, like certain orca ecotypes and other small delphinids. They are a pelagic species, designed to live out in the open water column, as are all baleen whales. So, the pen would have to be a floating habitat miles out into the open water (think of an offshore oil rig), with netting sturdy enough to not be destroyed by a 50 ton whale and long enough to extend hundreds of feet to the ocean floor. We're talking probably thousands of square miles of netting, that would have to be routinely inspected for safety and upkeep. So, you would probably need a submersible, since no human can dive that deep. On top of that, it would be difficult to find such a larger stretch of ocean in their habitat without shipping lanes, underwater noise, or pollution. And let's just forget about the logistics of staffing that place—or worse, funding.

Additionally, we wouldn't be able to feed them by tossing fish into their mouth like with dolphins. Northern right whales feed on tiny crustaceans and zooplankton, cruising along and filtering the creatures from the water with their baleen. Assuming our right whale keepers were somehow able to acquire the insane amount of food the whale requires (potentially over 5000 pounds of zooplankton a day), it would need to be scattered throughout the massive habitat to facilitate feeding. I imagine this would probably look something like the way Georgia Aquarium feeds their whale sharks from a little boat, although on a much larger scale. And since the food obviously can't be kept alive, we would need to develop someway of delivering the daily vitamins that are lost in the freezing process—and to keep hundreds of tons of krill frozen on a floating kitchen in the middle of the ocean.

Of course, the ultimate goal of this project would be to breed northern right whales... that means we need to take everything we just talked about and double it, at a bare minimum. For the breeding program to be successful, it would need a whole lot more than just two whales. And unfortunately, even if we lived in world with magical floating thousand-acre sea pens, unlimited krill, and endless money... we still don't know if it would even work. Right whale breeding habits are poorly understood, with the whales mating in cold northern waters before migrating 1,000 miles south to calve. Despite our best theoretical efforts, these migratory patterns could very well be necessary for successful reproduction.

Thank you again for the ask! This was actually a lot of fun to think about! If you want to read about JJ, the only baleen whale ever successfully housed in (temporary) human care, you can find an article and pictures here.

[devsgames]

Heya, a while ago I got a job as a programmer for a small game studio (yay!), though now struggling to manage the work load from disability issues and it not being better than my previous development job, I've realised I would very much like to go solo. I believe I have the technical ability and training to do so but I'm not sure how to manage it financially, especially with an almost full time job (that I can't reduce more than I already have). Do you have any tips on the money side of becoming independent? Would just like to be stable enough to make a living on it!

Thanks for the ask!!

First: congrats on getting a job! That's excellent!

I'm going to go in-depth because I think it's a valid question, but I also want to be super clear that no one should go solo until they're absolutely prepared for the risks associated with it:

Sustainability

I can't personally speak to working with a disability, but my biggest piece of advice for going solo is: don't quit your day job. Odds are good that as a solo developer you are not going to make enough money to earn a living.

In my experience it's usually better to be miserable and struggling at a full-time job that pays well than miserable and struggling as a solo dev that doesn't pay rent. At a full-time job you may not happy but at least you put food on the table and can save money and spend it on things guilt-free, which is something a lot of solo devs can't do.

I think there's a misconception that being a solo dev is sustainable when in actuality the way most solo devs are sustainable is by already having a popular game/following, or having an existing safety net or second job that pays the bills, or by working their asses off more than they would at a full-time job. Solo dev exhibits survivorship bias because the solo devs who couldn't keep up in the market simply aren't doing it anymore. Solo dev is so competitive and the pay so unreliable that unless you strike gold (which is very unlikely) I can't in good faith recommend anyone attempt going solo without some sort of extensive planning to back it up.

I'll use myself as a point of comparison for full transparency (because I am absolutely not exempt from having immense privilege and I think it's important to acknowledge that): I was laid off in 2023, but my partner currently makes 110k CDN a year. Before I got laid off I made 85k CDN a year. We've been saving up for about ~7 years. Cost of living in our area of the country is very high, but we live in a place owned by a relative so our rent is truly dirt cheap so our overall costs are incredibly low. My partner pays most of our expenses, and I'm on her insurance plan. We're both open and comfortable about this arrangement now, but if something happened financially I'd be running out and working a job immediately out of necessity. I am incredibly privileged to have a comfortable living situation that affords me flexibility to focus on creative stuff full-time, but it's because of these circumstances that I can do solo dev in a dedicated capacity.

A Peek At Finances

I started solo dev in 2020 and until 2023 I did solo dev alongside my full-time job and I shipped 3 games in that time (so roughly one game per year), so I was saving money and making games on the side. I ran a Kickstarter as part of that and made a number of sales as part of the Queer Games Bundle (which offered much more generous payouts back then than it is able to now). Now in 2024 I do it full-time, but despite this I don't make enough to survive.

Here's all the profits from my game sales from the last 4 years as a solo dev (in USD). Remember this is from the last 4 years altogether (not per-year), and 2024 was the first year I did it exclusively:

Steam

Itchio (this is largely due to the Queer Games Bundle, I generally don't make much profit off itch at all outside of that)

On top of this, I work as a Course Director at a local University for 4 months of the year for an additional $10k to supplement my income. I also have had some other revenue streams from streaming, commissions, freelance writing, talks, Patreon, etc. however that's approximately in the ~$100 every few months range and not terribly noteworthy.

As you can tell the solo dev sales is not really enough money for most people to make rent on, and some of my games (like Lofty Quest) cost a lot of money relative to their profit. Solo dev is incredibly risky because even with perfect planning you can work on a project for years only for it to make you like, $300 in the end.

All this is to say; solo dev really is not sustainable full-time for most people unless you are the 0.1% of people who can afford to live on $1000-5000 USD a year (though I feel like most people can't).

"""Side-Hustle""" Approach

I think solo dev is more manageable as a (for lack of a better word) 'side hustle' than it is a full-time job. But I find the secret to doing that is (like any craft) is to learn to enjoy the process and not the product - if you enjoy making your own games then it will give you energy, as opposed to sucking it away like making games for work does.

When I was working in the office I'd be designing stuff for my TTRPGs whenever I took breaks at my desk, or writing notes and plans on digital games whenever I had some down time. Even working remotely I would squeeze in working on my game during big team meetings or before I went to bed - again mostly just because I liked the act of making my own games. I did it because I enjoyed it and it afforded me more freedom than I had working on content on a AAA game, but I never really did it because I was ever planning to make a ton of money or planning to go solo. Doing solo dev part-time helped me find a work-life balance where I was still feeling creatively fulfilled despite working at a job I hated, and profit came after that - I only fully focused on solo dev when I suddenly lost my job and found myself in a comfortable living situation.

An additional thing I'd say about solo dev is that if you 'believe' you have the ability to do it, then try to ship a premium game right now by yourself from start to finish as a side thing before re-shaping your life plans around it. It sounds obvious but until you ship a game by yourself you don't know what it's like to ship a game by yourself, and it'll give you a better idea of what it's actually like and if it's something you can actually manage to do more long-term.

If you're really really going to go solo full-time and nothing is ever going to stop you (once again, I would not recommend considering this at all but I know some people have trouble listening to advice), then here's some survival tips:

You should ensure you have a plan that is concrete and actionable - make it a SMART goal so that it's measurable and you can quantifiable hold yourself to it. E.g. "I'm going to publish a game solo and see how it goes" isn't something to bank your livelihood on, but "I'm going to release two small games before November and see what the process is like, and if I'm not making rent by February I will find a part time job" is. Remember that finding a new job after being off the job market will take time (sometimes months) and incorporate that additional plan. Formulate a Plan B and hold yourself to it, and then a handful of 'Plan C through G' worst-case scenarios, because you don't want to bank your livelihood on solo dev. Hold yourself to your plan whenever possible, keep going back to that plan, and know when to call it quits. Solo dev isn't worth sacrificing your life over.

Before going solo, calculate your monthly burn rate and current savings and know how long it will last - also assume you're going to spend more money than you usually do on average (because you'll probably spend more than you expect). Plan ways to cut costs in your daily life, what you can stop spending money on, etc. Figure out your insurance situation with your work; you'll either have to get your own plan or lose health coverage in some instances. If you're planning on quitting your job and you have a quit date be sure to maximize the amount of money you spend on insurance before you do; buy new orthotics, new glasses, see your doctor, stock up on your meds, etc. Don't do any unnecessary spending if at all possible.

Read up on your local business and tax laws, and learn how it works for developers in your area with regards to revenue from foreign countries (if you live outside the US, as most storefronts operate within the US). If you can, find a lawyer and an accountant who works with game developers in your area (if you know any local devs ask them who they use, they'll usually be happy to share). Seek out publishers, investors, grants, developers in your area and make connections as early as possible because they could be a lifeline down the road. If you're going to be sustainable as a solo dev it's usually from grants, investors or contract work and not because of sales alone. Network early and network often.

When you start a game, be acutely confident (and honest with yourself) of its marketability - no one thinks your game is as cool as you do. Don't make an echo chamber about your work and be open to feedback. Ask others what they think about it to validate your intentions.

Plan to spend money on promoting it. Post about your game as part of your job and never shut up about it. Be as annoying about your work as you feel comfortable, and then double the amount of annoying you are. You'll get used to being annoying because if no one finds out about your game your game will not make money.

Work like a studio; playtest your game early and often. Before you finish your first game, plan what your next game is going to be and start prototyping that. Be your own producer, err on the side of caution and cut as many things as often as possible.

I made a whole talk on the production side of being a solo dev here if you want more specific production tips.

---

Anyway, sorry that may not be...terribly helpful of an answer, but I think a realistic approach is usually best. Thanks again for the ask!

[jojotier]

and all my dunmeshistuck au woes aren't even getting into the fact that Karkat's party would have 12 members and they're all trying to reach the deepest point of the dungeon

For a while now I wondered why Ryoko Kui's party sizes were by and large so small. The truly successful parties appear to average around 5-6 party members, with other parties seemingly taking on less members (around 2-4, with the 2 people being the duo attacked by a Basilisk).

For the upper floors, smaller sizes make sense- since the upper floors seem to be better explored, there's a wider safety net if there's a total party wipe with more corpse retrievers there to pick you up. On a technical level, too, you just don't need as many people to survive on these floors, since you can just travel back to floor 1 or Melini.

So the implication would be that the deeper you go, the bigger your party should be, right? The more people you bring means you have more people you have as a safety net as you slip away from the floors where your corpse is likely to be noticed. It also allows for redundancies; if you only have one person in the party with revival magic, you're going to need to head all the way back up if that person dies, but if you have Two, then you're set.

But then there comes the big thing at the center of Dungeon Meshi: how in the everloving hell are you supposed to feed and care for all of your party members the deeper you go?

As Senshi says at multiple points, only living off of food rations isn't good for the body in the long run; it likely isn't good for the body in the long run to have such an unbalanced diet while traversing the dangers of lower floors, particularly when one minor setback- food being lost or rations getting moldy- can destroy your original plan altogether. And that's not even getting into the fact that the more months of food you have to bring in advance, the larger the weight being lugged around, which can significantly slow your progress depending on the physical capabilities of your party members.

In this regard, smaller parties actually have an advantage, if only because less people = less rations needed. But by God they better be pretty fucking skilled, because the deeper they are, the more unlikely it is that anyone can hear them scream.

On a meta level, it's just another sign that Ryoko Kui has truly tied absolutely everything in this manga down to food. Food drives every decision the characters make, even when they're just preparing for how to tackle the dungeon. It's incredible!

On a self level I am tearing my hair out because. How the FUCK am I getting all 12 of these bastards to the bottom of the dungeon?

(This is Dungeon Meshi. We know how.)

[boobblog]

The In Between

It was a dark and stormy night, just kidding, but seriously. The storm just wasn't outside, it was in me. Insert feelings here, all of them, at the same time. The time from diagnosis to surgery is a journey. But not a cute one. I would compare this to Frodo climbing Mordor, everyday, from the bottom. Some days he gets further than others, but he always ends up back on his ass looking up at the big scary thing, intimidated, and scared to death. Not figuratively either...

There's a song by Phoebe Star, Lavendar Scars. It's hauntingly beautiful, and one of the lyrics is about the depths of despair. If I had a way of describing my mood during this time, this sums it up.

This is where my trauma comes into play...y'all still won't get the whole tea though. I'm not interested in destroying some of y'alls reality.

The problem for me is that my brain lacks specific chemicals to properly file away memories, this means I have an unrealistic view of situations at times. Knowing I cannot trust my thoughts at all times has been a struggle on it's own. I'm incredibly smart, not to brag, but objectively, so I compensated and created a safety net of sorts. It tells me when I'm safe and keeps me from doing certain things it thinks will be harmful. Unfortunately, the trauma I have experienced came from the hands of people. People I trusted. So how do you learn to trust strangers charged with making sure you don't die?

You give up.

I don't give up. I have been placed in a car and told to drive across the country with my kid and 3 suitcases, and I still fought. Because at the time I thought it was the right thing to do. But I didn't have a choice and was forced to start over. Again. I did it though, and did it well. I could give it all up everyday for the rest of my life and never feel an ounce of regret. Having nothing allowed me to see how much I really have. And it was so much more than just love.

Sorry, I like talking about my story, it made me. I really didn't start living until we came to Dallas. This was the story I was writing, for me and by me. I stepped into my authenticity and was truly working on just being happy right now.

Back on track- I practice mindfulness daily. For those of you lucky enough to know Luke you will remember his manic phase when he was following Ram Dass's teachings. I picked this up during that period and promptly tossed everything else. However, there is something there. Being present in the here and now and remembering to breathe sounds so simple, but it is quite possibly the hardest thing I've ever done. Anytime someone is asking for tips and tricks to relax I recommend looking up Mooji on YouTube. His guided meditations, along with his buttery voice touches the most wounded parts of me. Even if it is for a second. Seriously, go look him up, I'll wait.

I've had those gems in my pocket for years, but when I needed them, when I was drowning in my thoughts and tears, I had nothing. Nothing anyone said helped, I couldn't nurse brain this one away. One morning, I say morning but it was 2 am, I was up watching Big Bang (I'll fight you, this show is great) and was laughing. In that moment, I gave up. Surrendered if you will, but to myself. I let go of the reigns and CHOSE to trust the team I was given. Now all I had to do was just show up, and wake up.

I hadn't laughed in weeks. Everyday was the same, wake up, am I crying, yes, stay home. Not crying try to go to work. If I wasn't trying to keep my job I was at another appointment. Labs, MRI's, CT's, Bone Scans, Radiation Oncologist, Medical Oncologist, Breast Specialist, SO MANY APPOINTMENTS.

It was during this period that I learned my staging and prognosis. My breast specialist is the tiniest woman with the most commanding presence. She walked into the room directly to me, took my hands and said, and I quote: " Hey there survivor, this is small and curable, no big deal." What an odd thing to say first, but she's awesome and I'm the worst with words, so what do I know? She told us I was stage 1a, would need surgery and possibly radiation. We had a few good days after this. Things suddenly felt doable.

Then my imaging results came back.

Another break check moment. Bitchhhhhh that boob dude doubled in size in less than 2 weeks, spit out 2 other smaller confirmed carcinomas and grew a nest of calcifications around the OG. It was insulating itself. This changed my diagnosis and treatment plan drastically. I have cancer, cancer.

Luckily, I'm a pro at having the rug pulled out from under me by now. However, I never notice that's what is happening until after all the snot and tears.

My poor boy. He wasn't lasting 10 minutes at school without worrying and having a full blown panic attack. Everyday. He couldn't be away from me. Luke found a hidden superpower to pick up all of our pieces and just hold them. He held them until we were ready to put them back together, as a family.

Here comes the masking, fake smiles, and false reasurrance. Ugh, that feels so fake. But it was neccessary. My boy needed hope, and I didn't have any to offer him. So I faked it. Damnit, if I didn't start to feel better too. Placebo effect, maybe. Who knows? I didn't want to kill myself, so I took off running with it. Hope is thrown around way to easily.

When my grandmother was missing (told y'all, TRAUMA) all anyone said was stay hopeful, keep the faith. But what happens when you never had hope and faith to begin with? So this time, when I'm being told the same thing, just about my cancer, it felt played out. It felt like an inappropriate response to say TO ME about me. You keep the faith, you keep hoping for the best. I'm still wrapping my mind around the fact that everything that makes me a woman will be gone, and if I choose to not follow through with the treatment plan, I WILL DIE. Those are the options you are given.

Let's stop here. I had therapy the other day, after my mastectomy, and made some revelations about what makes me a woman, and whooooo buddy it's not boobs and a uterus.

[pandavalkyrie]

Yesterday I had a thought about self driving cars. The idea is simple, right? You tell the computer where you want to go and it takes you there. I hate driving, so at least at first, years ago, the idea of this was like a dream. Let someone, or something else, take the anxiety away. Take the risk from my hands. 

But now I’ve read all the arguments about why self driving single family vehicles are a waste. And now I agree, yes, just build trains. Just build a better public transportation system. But something else occurred to me recently while I was driving to the store.

Something kind of more existential that creeped into my understanding of how everything else is starting to turn.

Self driving vehicles will destroy the act of getting lost on purpose. 

On purpose is the important part there. Sometimes my husband and I will get in the car and go, with no real destination in mind. We just hit the road and drive, making turns at random, seeing what we see. We’ve stumbled into some incredible situations doing this. We’ve found parks, restaurants, and a creepy crumbling Christian LARP center we never would’ve found if we just plugged ‘Olive Garden’ into the GPS computer and let it go.

Automated cars will streamline the transportation experience. It’ll take out making a left turn instead of a right, because you had the thought, “Why not?”

If all cars became self driving, which some folks are claiming one day will happen, that’s one opportunity for a little extra spontaneous color in your life dead in the water.

And it’s not just that. It’s all automation. Wendy’s is testing an AI that’ll take your order at the drive thru. Yes, the primary problem with this is the elimination of jobs without any social safety net. That’s enough to side against it.

But, it also takes away a moment of interaction with a stranger. 99% of the time those interactions range form boring to frustrating, but 1% you get to talk to someone for a few minutes that makes your day. Maybe they joke around with you, compliment you, suggest something on the menu even. It’s a small social moment we need.

Everything needs to be streamlined. Everything needs to be efficient. We need to eliminate as much color and strangeness and opportunity for discomfort as possible. Television shows need to get on with the plot, quit sitting with the characters and letting the themes breathe with them. AI art generates exactly what you want to see without any little imperfections or quirks of the artist. Keep using the system, soon even the quirks of the AI itself like too many fucking fingers will also be smoothed out.

This is an existential crisis I’m having right now. Hell, maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m being dramatic. But it feels like algorithms and so called AI are going to pigeonhole us into our little nuclear family bubbles and keep us there, lest we stop being good predictable consumers.

Stick with what you already know, tell the machine that’s what you want, and let it spit that exact thing out for you. Hell, the machine already predicted you wanted it. Google calendar told your car you have a doctor’s appointment, you don’t even need to enter the clinic’s address. How convenient.

Am I making a point here? Am I rambling or does this make sense? I have severe social anxiety and still I don’t want every interaction with a stranger replaced with a sterile and cold machine.

[i-am-still-bb]

#1

"But now this room is spinning while I'm trying just to fill in all the gaps." | Safety Net | Swooning | "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Fili/Kili, T Modern AU 770 words

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A/N: Incredibly mild whump via altitude sickness (ie headache, nausea, dizziness) with caretaking.

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“Wow! Kili, look at this!”

Kili does not look up from the trail precisely 2 feet in front of his boots. He hears the excitement in Fili’s voice, the awe, but all Kili can focus on his the harsh sound of his own breathing and the continuous loop of “Don’t fall. Don’t fall. Don’t fall. Don’t fall.”

“Kili?”

Kili hooks his thumbs through the shoulder straps of his backpack and forces himself to take another step and another before looking up. Fili has stepped off to the side of the trail. Back straight, hands holding his phone in landscape mode, arms making small adjustments to get the perfect photo. His chest rises and falls as he takes deep breaths, but his cheeks are pink and his eyes bright. Kili tries to keep the scowl from his face. He feels like he is about to fall down. He wants to go back to the hostel and take a nap. But he also does not want to ruin what should be (and is, for Fili) a good time with a scowl.

Kili stops next to Fili. He looks out over the edge where Fili’s eyes are trained. Bursts of gold amid the green fir trees, mist rising from the lake, the peaks of mountains sliding in and out of view as the fogs and clouds thicken and thin on a whim. 

“It almost doesn’t feel real.”

“Yeah,” Kili forces out before he yawns again. He winces when the yawn makes his head throb again. 

“Are you okay?”

Kili straightens. “I’m fine. Just tired.” 

Fili’s eyes are now fixed on Kili instead of the breathtaking view. “We can take a break here,” Fili says, “Have a snack; whatever.”

Kili unbuckles the chest and waist belts of his pack. “You don’t have to wait for me.” 

Fili’ rolls his eyes, “If I wanted to hike alone then I could have just saved those credit card points that I used for your seat on the plane for something else.” He has his bag off and is rifling through its contents for snacks before Kili even slips his bag from his shoulders. “Besides, this is a great spot to take a break. We have this view,” he gestures to the view of the peaks in the clouds and their snow speckled slopes, “the sun, and a bit of a breeze.”

Kili bends over to set his bag down. His head throbs; his vision darkens;  he stumbles. Fili grabbing a fistful of Kili’s brightly patterned fleece jacket while making a startled noise keeps Kili from falling down.

“What was that?” There’s a concerned note to Fili’s voice that he most certainly got from their mother. 

“I’m fine. I just got a little dizzy, that’s all,” Kili says after he straightens. But Fili does not let go of Kili’s jacket. 

“Do you have a headache?” Fili’s gaze is now fixed on Kili.

“A bit,” Kili shrugs, “But it could be from the turbulence on our flight, I—”

“Dizziness?”

“Not right now.”

“Nausea?”

Kili shrugs again.

“If I gave you a granola bar would you eat it?”

“Probably not,” Kili admits. He looks past Fili.

“Okay. Sit down.” Fili guides Kili to a flat-ish rock. He only lets go of Kili’s jacket once Kili is firmly seated. “We’re going to have a snack. You are going to drink as much water as you can stand. We’re going to rest a bit while we do that. And then we’re heading back down to the car.”

Kili sipped from his hydration bladder. “I can go down by myself,” he protested.

“Not a chance,” Fili said, ripping open a package of chocolate-covered almonds and shoving them at Kili.

“I can wait here for you. There’s no reason you shouldn’t get to enjoy the summit.” Kili stared gloomily into the bag of almonds.

Fili leaned over and rested a hand on Kili’s knee. “We’re going down together. We’ll find something else to do. Maybe check out that ziplining place we saw advertised in the drive up here. After that we could get some Himalayan food from that one place you found online.”

“Fine.”

“Don’t think I won’t tickle you if that’s what is necessary to make you smile,” Fili threatens with a smile.

Kili flicked an almond in Fili’s direction.

“Hey!” The almond bounced off Fili’s chest and landed on the ground somewhere.

“I’d like to see you try.”

“After I find that almond. Chipmunks don’t need to be eating that.”

“Mhm.” Kili takes a small handful of the almonds and crunches away while Fili continues to hunt for the missing snack food.

[fixated-frenzy]

How Gilmore Girls Ruined Rory

Gilmore Girls started strong. The Palladinos did a phenomenal job at creating a group of characters so unique that anyone could relate to some part of the show. The town of Stars Hollow creates the idea that there could be such loyalty and magic in a small town. Richard and Emily Gilmore are presented more as antagonists, yet you still get to see glimpses of their morals, understandings, and emotions. In Gilmore Girls, you get the full story for every character. From main characters such as Lorelai and Rory to less involved side characters such as Babette and Ms. Patty. The show truly is a masterpiece.....until about the end of season four.

Any Gilmore Girls fan knows exactly how season four ends and how much Rory's character down-spiraled afterwards. Now I don't think her sleeping with Dean was the sole reason for her downfall, but I do believe it was a contributing factor in dumb decisions to come.

For three seasons, we get to see Rory work her butt off at Chilton so she can make her way to Ivy League. We watch as she goes from being told she doesn't have what it takes to make it at Chilton to becoming the valedictorian of her high school class. From the beginning, we see the ambition and passion in Rory, but by the end of season three, she is actively using her drive to reach her full potential.

Rory carries her ambition into college, but as we watch her make countless mistakes, it becomes increasingly difficult to stay on team Rory. She becomes distracted and disorganized, significantly losing so much of what makes her character special. In season four it was clear that she was having trouble being away from home, which I think played a part in her decision to sleep with Dean. She was looking for something familiar, but once she latched on, she couldn't let go. She stayed with Dean for half of season five until things finally ended between them for good. At this point, Logan had come into her life, which brought many blessings and curses.

Logan was the first real connection she made to life outside of Stars Hollow. Even as she went through her first year at Yale, Rory was still so attached to home that she became closed off from life at Yale. Logan brought her out of her shell and got her to explore life outside of the safety net of Stars Hollow. However, Rory was not fully prepared for the freedom she discovered.

The end of season five was hard to watch. Although Mitchem was horrible to Rory and she had every reason to be upset, stealing a yacht was definitely not the right way to handle the situation. However, Rory dropping out of Yale was a much dumber way to deal with it. Criticism is a part of life and there are going to be times when people are completely wrong about their criticism. Rory's response to Mitchem's comments was incredibly immature and she should have never let him slow her down. The Rory I fell in love with, high school Rory, never would have given up over one person's opinion.

Once Rory came back to Yale (thank you, Jess), she worked her way back on track for the most part. She stuck with Logan until the end of season seven before rejecting his proposal, which was another dumb decision. Rory could get overconfident, and I think it hurt her ability to make more rational choices. It is difficult to pinpoint the exact moment when Rory's voice of reason changed, but once it did, her character was never the same.

I think her persona change happened gradually throughout seasons five and six. She was always going back to Stars Hollow, which made sense especially for the show, but for a girl who claimed to want to travel the world as a journalist, she wasn't making great strides to do it. As Logan got her out of her comfort zone, she became her new, unrecognizable self. While I do think Logan was great for her, he could have been better about letting her be herself.

There is a lot to love about Gilmore Girls, but Rory's down-spiral will always be disappointing. In the end of A Year in the Life, Rory hasn't even done anything interesting. The writers built her up as this amazing girl who was bound for greatness, but ended up destroying everything to love about Rory's character.

[bicripple]

As somebody with training in both game theory and sociology I have such mixed feelings about these games. On one hand they're really accessible and get a wide audience understanding that social interactions are shaped by unwritten rules, that we are not simply individuals, and that we are players in dynamic systems subject to feedback loops.

On the other hand, I hate how simplistic the messages are, as though game theory alone explains incredibly complex social phenomena. The first game above is a lovely introduction to trust and game theory, and how trust is needed for cooperation in society, but then it without any real evidence makes the argument that social media is what is isolating us and why we don't trust each other.

There are a lot of reasons why people in our society feel more isolated and seperate from us. Social media is the current moral panic. But there's plenty of other factors. For example, the destruction of walkable cities in favour of sprawling car infrastructure is a major contributor to social fracturing and isolation, and was predicted by the anti-car activists of the early 20th century.

Another contributor is neoliberalization. The social safety net got completely destroyed along with secure unionized jobs. Now most people have to be constantly hussling from one gig job to another, with very little time for leisure or opportunity to get to socialize.

The Parable of the Polygons similarly provides an overly simplistic lesson on how discrimination works. The idea that class and racial separation in our society is only the result of small, implicit biases just is not a sufficient explanation of classism and racism.

Sure the little daily biases add up, but the view that racism is just a result of "implicit bias" is a myth that white people love because then we don't have to address the explicitly racist laws and policies that are built into schools, elections, the justice system, medical research and so on. The "implicit bias" myth allows white people to feel racism is really anybody's fault and racism is just a result of individual-to-individual interactions.

Altogether these games follow an ideology that the social world can be solely explained by simple game theoretic models. And this view that the only things that are "real" are the things that are both easily quantified and easily modelled.

I worry that people actually walk away from these games not realising how simplistic and incomplete the messaging is.

Okay, you need to make sure you play this game at some point. Maybe not today or anything, because you’ll need about thirty minutes and a serious willingness to understand how it works, but - it’s so worth it. It’s basically an answer to our occasional frustration - why do assholes always come out on top? - and the beautiful thing about it is that not only does it explain how that happens, but also how we can change it.

“In the short run, the game defines the players. But in the long run, it’s us players who define the game.”

[lovehealgrow]

Finding Yourself in Your 20s

There’s an entire industry centered around finding yourself. From life coaches to yoga, from movies like Eat Pray Love to Little Miss Sunshine, so much of what we do and the messages we consume involve finding ourselves. But what does that actually mean? Are we really lost in the first place? And how do we know when we’ve found ourselves?

For today’s 20-somethings, the pressure to find themselves has never been higher. Your 20s are often painted as the best years of your life. Society tells you this is the time for freedom, adventure, and discovering who you truly are. However, it can also be a period filled with confusion, uncertainty, and pressure to have everything figured out. You might find yourself questioning your career choices, relationships, and even your identity. This is a normal part of the journey, and embracing this time of self-discovery can be incredibly rewarding.

While we can’t give you a treasure map where X marks the spot where you’ll find yourself, consider this as something of a road map. Not a GPS, but an old-fashioned map that helps you find the little detours, roadside attractions, and all the bumps along the way. Ready? Let’s go!

Why You Might Feel Lost in Your 20s

In your 20s, you’re transitioning from adolescence to adulthood, which can be a challenging process. The safety net of school and parental guidance starts to fade, and suddenly, you’re expected to make significant life decisions on your own. This can be overwhelming and lead to feelings of inadequacy or imposter syndrome.

Societal expectations add another layer of stress. There’s pressure to land a great job, find a partner, and establish a stable life, often by the age of 30. When reality doesn’t match these expectations, it can lead to self-doubt and anxiety. You might feel like you’re falling behind or failing to meet milestones that others seem to achieve effortlessly. It can be hard to avoid comparing yourself to others or recognizing your journey for what it is: yours.

Your 20s are also a time for exploring and understanding your identity. You may question previously held beliefs, values, and goals. This period of self-reflection is essential for growth but can be disorienting as you redefine who you are and what you want out of life.

Navigating Your 20s

Your 20s might be a bumpy road (everybody’s are, really), but you don’t have to feel lost. With the right mindset and strategies, you can make this decade a period of significant growth and self-discovery.

Embrace Uncertainty

Uncertainty is a natural part of life, especially in your 20s. Instead of fearing the unknown, try to embrace it. Understand that it’s okay not to have all the answers right now. Life is a journey, and it’s through experiences and challenges that you learn and grow. Give yourself permission to explore different paths and make mistakes along the way.

Set Realistic Goals

Setting realistic and achievable goals can provide direction and a sense of purpose. Break down your long-term aspirations into smaller, manageable steps. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small. This approach makes big goals feel more attainable and boosts your confidence as you achieve each milestone.

Cultivate Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is key to understanding your desires, strengths, and areas for improvement. Spend time reflecting on your experiences and how they shape you. Journaling can be a powerful tool for this. By regularly writing about your thoughts and feelings, you can gain insights into your motivations and patterns, helping you make more informed decisions.

Build a Support System

Surround yourself with supportive friends, family, and mentors. These people can provide guidance, encouragement, and a listening ear when you need it. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help or advice. Building a strong support system can make a significant difference in how you navigate the ups and downs of your 20s.

Prioritize Self-Care

Taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental health is essential. Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it’s doing a beloved hobby, meditating, reading, or spending time in nature, self-care can help reduce stress and improve your overall well-being. Remember, you can’t drive on an empty tank, so taking care of yourself is crucial for being able to face challenges head-on.

Be Open to New Experiences

Your 20s are the perfect time to take the road less traveled. Explore a little! Be open to trying new things and stepping out of your comfort zone. Travel, take up new hobbies, meet new people, and immerse yourself in different cultures. These experiences can broaden your perspective, help you discover new passions, and drive personal growth.

Learn to Manage Finances

Financial stability is a common concern in your 20s (and beyond). Take the time to educate yourself about budgeting, saving, and investing. Establish good financial habits early on, such as tracking your expenses and setting aside savings. Financial literacy can reduce stress and give you a sense of control over your future.

Accept That It’s Okay to Change Your Mind

You might start your 20s with a clear plan, but it’s important to recognize that it’s okay to change your mind. As you grow and learn more about yourself, your goals and desires might shift. Your relationships will change; some may end. Embrace these changes as part of your journey rather than seeing them as setbacks. Flexibility and adaptability are valuable traits that will serve you well throughout life.

Adventures on the Road Ahead: Embracing Self-Discovery and Exploration

Your 20s are a unique opportunity for self-discovery and exploration. Rather than viewing this time as a period of confusion, see it as a chance to learn more about yourself and what you want from life.

Discover Your Passions

Take the time to discover what truly excites and motivates you. This might involve exploring different career paths, hobbies, or volunteer opportunities. Pursuing your passions can lead to a more fulfilling and purposeful life.

Develop Your Personal Values

As you experience different events, you’ll develop a clearer understanding of your personal values. These values will guide your decisions and help you build a life that aligns with your true self. Reflect on what matters most to you, whether it’s family, creativity, community, or something else entirely.

Build Resilience

The challenges you face in your 20s will build resilience and character. Each setback is an opportunity to learn and grow stronger. Embrace these challenges and trust in your ability to overcome them. Resilience will serve you well throughout your life, helping you navigate future obstacles with confidence.

Embrace Independence

This decade is a time to build independence and self-reliance. Learn to trust your instincts and make decisions that are right for you. Independence doesn’t mean doing everything alone; it means being confident in your ability to take charge of your own life.

The Journey Never Ends

Finding yourself in your 20s can be a challenging yet rewarding journey. You may never really feel like you’ve found yourself, and that’s ok– because humans are a journey, not a destination. Our lives are an always-turning kaleidoscope of people, experiences, and emotions. The best tip for finding yourself? Don’t stop looking.

If you find yourself struggling with this process, seeking professional help can be incredibly beneficial. A therapist can provide you with tools and strategies to navigate this period of self-discovery and help you manage the pressures and uncertainties that come with it. If you’re ready to take the next step in your journey, consider scheduling an appointment with a therapist at Love Heal Grow. Think of us as your pit crew along the winding road of self-discovery!

[aircolumnbag]

Top 4 Benefits of Air Column Bags

Introduction

Ever received a package with broken contents? It's frustrating, right? Enter air column bags – the unsung heroes of the packaging world. These innovative packaging solutions have revolutionized the way we protect and ship products. But what exactly are air column bags? Simply put, they're inflatable packaging materials designed to provide superior protection to various items during transit. Let's dive into the top four benefits that make air column bags a game-changer in the packaging industry.

Enhanced Product Protection

Cushioning Effect

One of the standout features of air column bags is their incredible cushioning effect. Imagine wrapping your precious items in a protective bubble that absorbs shocks and vibrations. That's what air column bags do! They create a buffer zone around products, ensuring they remain intact even if the package gets jostled around during shipping.

Shock Absorption

Accidents happen, especially during shipping. But with air column bags, you don't have to worry as much. These bags are designed to absorb shocks from drops and impacts, providing a reliable safety net for your items. It's like having a built-in insurance policy for your products.

Preventing Damage

From delicate electronics to fragile glassware, air column bags cater to a wide range of products. They prevent damage that can occur from rough handling, ensuring that everything from your new smartphone to a set of fine china arrives in pristine condition. This level of protection is unmatched by traditional packaging materials.

Cost-Effective Packaging Solution

Reduction in Packaging Material Costs

Traditional packaging materials like foam peanuts and bubble wrap can add up in cost. Air column bags, on the other hand, are much more cost-effective. They use less material while providing better protection, which means you save money without compromising on quality.

Lower Shipping Costs

Shipping fees are often calculated based on weight and dimensions. Air column bags are lightweight, which helps reduce overall shipping costs. Plus, their compact design means you can fit more products into a single shipment, optimizing space and further cutting costs.

Minimizing Returns Due to Damage

Returns can be a major headache for any business, especially when they're due to damaged goods. With air column bags, the incidence of damage is significantly reduced, which means fewer returns and replacements. This not only saves money but also enhances customer satisfaction.

Environmental Benefits

Recyclable Materials

In today's eco-conscious world, sustainability is key. Air column bags are made from recyclable materials, making them an environmentally friendly choice. They can be recycled along with other plastics, reducing the environmental impact of your packaging.

Reduced Carbon Footprint

By opting for air column bags, you're also contributing to a lower carbon footprint. These bags require less material to produce and transport, which translates to fewer carbon emissions. It's a small change that makes a big difference in the fight against climate change.

Less Waste Production

Unlike traditional packaging materials that often end up as waste, air column bags produce significantly less waste. Their efficient design means fewer materials are needed, and their recyclability ensures they don't end up in landfills. It's a win-win for both businesses and the environment.

Versatility in Packaging

Adaptability to Various Products

Air column bags are incredibly versatile. They can be adapted to fit a wide variety of products, from small electronics to large household items. This adaptability makes them an excellent choice for businesses with diverse product lines.

Ease of Use

Packaging with air column bags is a breeze. Simply inflate the bags and wrap them around your items. It's quick, efficient, and doesn't require any special equipment. This ease of use can save time and labor costs in your packaging process.

Customization Options

Every product is unique, and so are its packaging needs. Air column bags can be customized to fit specific requirements, providing tailored protection for your products. Whether you need extra cushioning for a fragile item or a specific shape for an awkwardly sized product, air column bags can be designed to meet your needs.

Conclusion

Air column bags are more than just a packaging solution; they're a revolution in product protection, cost efficiency, environmental sustainability, and versatility. By embracing this innovative packaging method, businesses can ensure their products reach customers safely, save on costs, and contribute to a greener planet. It's time to make the switch and experience the numerous benefits air column Roll have to offer.

[kvibe-test]

Fueling Dreams Through Desperation and Resilience

Desperation is an inevitable companion on the journey to achieving dreams, especially in the creative industry. I recall being 19 when I transitioned from a potential baseball career to music after a shoulder injury. The long hours I poured into my craft—I worked a typical 9-to-7 job during the day while dedicating my nights from 8 PM to 5 AM to music production and writing—were a testament to my resolve.

Having a day job afforded me certain flexibilities and a safety net, yet it couldn't shield me entirely from the desperation that comes with pursuing art. The desperation wore many masks: long working hours, bad contracts, and the pervasive uncertainty of success. But there were moments when this very desperation became the fuel for my creativity, pushing me harder, making me more resilient.

Learning From Adversity

Everyone in the creative industry, at some point, feels the sting of adversity. There were countless times I found myself a victim to predatory tactics within the music industry. I remember yelling on the phone, struggling to free myself from contracts that took advantage of my naivety and desperation. I eventually broke free, but not without scars.

Even with the benefit of my job, which allowed me to pay the rent, I still felt desperate. Many artists, unlike me, might not have the luxury of a safety net. This made it crucial for me to establish boundaries and learn from these tough experiences. "You never really know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice," as the saying goes.

Coping Strategies

So, how do you navigate such daunting feelings of desperation? Here are some strategies that helped me cope:

Passion Projects: Ensuring I always had a personal project on the side kept my love for the art alive. These were not bound by commercial success but my sheer enjoyment.

Community Support: Surrounding myself with a community of like-minded individuals who empathized with my struggles was incredibly grounding. They became my sounding board, offering support, advice, and even criticism, which was essential for growth.

Taking Breaks: In a creative industry, it's easy to burn out. I learned the importance of taking breaks—not just fleeting moments but genuine time off to recharge and refocus. Pausing periodically allowed me to return with renewed energy and fresh perspectives.

Redefining Success

Throughout my journey, I’ve had to redefine what success means. For me, it wasn't about fame or money but about happiness and fulfillment. If an artist lives in a garage but wakes up every day happy and eager to create, that, to me, is success. Being monetarily poor but rich in spirit and creativity is still a win.

Success in the creative industry is so subjective. While many gauge it through material gains and recognitions, I’ve found profound contentment in the small victories—the song that came out just right, the film scene capturing the exact emotion, the audience moved by my art.

Another poignant lesson I've learned is about leveraging talents. Many assume you need to understand the business to avoid exploitation. While there's merit to it, leveraging your work’s unique value also offers some protection. If you create something remarkable, the sheer demand can shift the power dynamics in your favor, reducing the chances of being taken advantage of.

Desperation, while daunting, is not the enemy. It is a powerful motivator and a testament to our dedication to our craft. It's essential to not let it consume us but to channel it in ways that propel us forward. The struggles, the failures—they're all part of the journey, shaping us into better, more resilient artists.

Every setback, every moment of desperation, is just another chapter in our story. A story of perseverance, passion, and ultimately, triumph in whatever form we choose to define it.

So, to my fellow artists feeling the weight of the world, remember: You're not alone. Every twist, every turn, every moment of despair is molding you into the artist you were meant to be. Keep pushing forward, stay true to your passion, and embrace the journey, no matter how turbulent it might be.

In the end, it's about holding onto the joy of creation and finding fulfillment in the process. Stay resilient, stay passionate, and most importantly, stay creative.

[digitalbouncehouserentals]

Jumpstart Your Party: How Bounce House Rentals Add Excitement to Events

When it comes to hosting a memorable event, whether it's a birthday party, corporate gathering, or a community fair, injecting an element of fun and excitement is paramount. And what better way to achieve this than with bounce house rentals? Bounce houses have become incredibly popular in recent years, transforming ordinary events into extraordinary experiences. In this blog post, we'll explore the numerous ways in which bounce house rentals can elevate any event, leaving participants of all ages grinning from ear to ear. Looking for the best TJ's House of Bounce Los Gatos? Look no further than TJ's House of Bounce! We offer a wide variety of bounce houses, water slides, and interactive inflatables that are perfect for any party or event. Whether you're planning a birthday celebration, a school event, or a corporate gathering, our top-quality rentals will take your event to the next level. Don't miss out on the fun - visit TJ's House of Bounce Los Gatos website now to browse our exciting options and book your favorite bounce house today!

Unleashing the Joy of Bouncing

There's something inherently exhilarating about bouncing up and down on a soft, inflatable surface. Bounce houses offer an irresistible magnetism that draws both children and adults alike. From the moment guests step into a bounce house, they're transported into a world of boundless fun and laughter. The sheer joy of jumping, flipping, and bouncing around creates an atmosphere of pure delight that is contagious and brings people together.

Safe and Secure Entertainment

One of the primary concerns when organizing an event is ensuring the safety of all participants, especially children. Bounce house rentals provide a secure and controlled environment for play. These structures are designed with safety in mind, featuring soft and bouncy surfaces, sturdy walls, and safety nets to prevent accidental falls. Rental companies often employ trained staff members to monitor and ensure that everyone follows the rules and guidelines, guaranteeing a worry-free experience for event organizers and attendees alike.

Versatile Options for Every Occasion

Bounce houses come in a wide range of sizes, shapes, and themes, making them suitable for virtually any event. Whether you're hosting a small backyard gathering or a large-scale festival, there's a bounce house that perfectly fits your needs. From traditional castle-shaped bounce houses to themed inflatables featuring superheroes, princesses, or even popular movie characters, the options are endless. These versatile rentals can be customized to match the theme or purpose of your event, adding an extra layer of excitement and visual appeal.

Healthy Physical Activity

In an era where electronic devices often dominate our leisure time, it's important to encourage physical activity, especially among children. Bounce houses provide an opportunity for participants to engage in active play and burn off energy in a fun and interactive way. Jumping, running, and bouncing around in a bounce house not only promotes cardiovascular health and physical coordination but also helps improve balance and motor skills. Incorporating bounce houses into events allows guests to get moving and embrace the benefits of active play.

All-Inclusive Fun for All Ages

The appeal of bounce houses transcends age barriers, making them a perfect addition to events that cater to a diverse range of guests. While children thoroughly enjoy bouncing to their heart's content, adults can also join in on the excitement. Bounce houses offer a chance for parents to bond with their children, while friends and colleagues can engage in friendly competitions and create lasting memories together. The inclusivity and universal enjoyment provided by bounce house rentals ensure that no one feels left out during the festivities.

Stress-Free Event Planning

When organizing an event, the last thing you want is added stress and complexity. Bounce house rentals simplify the planning process by providing an all-in-one entertainment solution. Rental companies typically handle delivery, setup, and takedown, saving you precious time and effort. Additionally, they often offer various packages that include different inflatables and additional party supplies, allowing you to tailor the rental to your specific needs. With bounce house rentals, you can focus on other event details, knowing that the entertainment aspect is in capable hands.

Bounce house rentals have revolutionized the way we approach event entertainment. Their ability to bring joy, laughter, and an unforgettable experience to any gathering is unmatched. From the energetic playtime to the inclusive nature and ease of planning, bounce houses offer an array of benefits that make them a must-have addition to any event. So, whether you're hosting a birthday party, corporate picnic, or community fair, don't miss the opportunity to elevate your event and create lasting memories with the excitement and charm of bounce house rentals. Get ready to bounce your way into a world of pure enjoyment!

[weepingwillowheart]

Brand New/Same Old

i live in an attic room now. i hear scurried footsteps on the roof and picture wild animals as better culprits than the other half-formed beings my mind rushes to conjure. the walls are old and painted in so many layers of white paint that nothing will stick to them. my pictures and tapestries and various stringed lights and mirrors fall in the middle of the night. i try to mount shelves but the nails won’t pierce to their hilt and the drywall crumbles onto my favourite books as i break my pink power drill by manually forcing it to turn after it meets too much resistance to power through. i have spent a week unpacking here and the room is still half-filled with boxes and half-filled with decor from three rooms and a bathroom. i only have one room now. the one i spent high school in finally belongs to someone else and all i left were emo band tees and second-year university textbooks that still gleamed unopened. my old room is no longer mine. my old job is no longer mine. my hometown is no longer mine.

i only moved an hour away so i could cohabit a place with my best friends. it’s everything we wanted and i just wish i was starting elsewhere. my five year plan has shifted from career to countries and my twenty-five year plan is reaching its deadline with nothing to show. i feel happy here. i feel happy in the sense that i feel sleep; i am aware it is there, soft in the borders of my mind, but it dissipates when i try to perceive it. i am focused and have done nothing but unpack and settle in since i moved here for real, since my last day at my job – a job i really miss, that is just too far away from a chance to feel new. and i do feel new, in a form more raw than shiny. i have applied to one job. my printer is broken and i can’t print more resumes. i told my old coworkers i was moving to Toronto. they all offered to set me up with serving positions at incredible places. i nodded politely and then drove to my new house in Hamilton. i just couldn’t bear to tell them i was here again, and an hour’s drive felt a bit too short to explain my departure. i guess i’m still not able to be vulnerable when i can escape with a lie.

i realize that if i stop moving right now i will break down before i’ve had a chance to string up new safety nets to stop me midfall. so i keep reminding myself that this is what i need right now and the future is still coming to grant other opportunities. i can still move to Portugal for a year and find a local job. these years are my chance to heal first. my friends love me and they are here. we watch childhood films together. we make fun of twilight and cry during harry potter (after agreeing that death of the author is in fact a beautiful idea). i have set goals for myself, goals such as: teach myself how to play the instruments i used to know, make yoga a daily practice, write as much as i can. gentle aspirations that blossom into deeper dreams the longer i recite them to myself.

i hear objects clattering to the ground around me as i write, small knickknacks and artwork in various corners tumbling from the wall. my mirror falls, cracking a pair of bookends once loved by my father. it breaks itself in the process and i reorient the next seven years to leave room for bad luck. i struggle not to cultivate it all into metaphor: a ramshackle fantasy collapsing under its own weight, a desperate and failing attempt to bring life to a space that cannot support it. my plants already have brown leaves. i am constructing conversations and explanations for killing my largest christmas present in a couple months. i remind myself that i am in the worst of the winter and the sun will grow brighter from here. they might find the nourishment they need in time. i might kill them anyways. i never know why.

my sister tells me it’s getting bad again. i give her empty reassurances and hope the emotion they carry can make up for their uselessness. i remind her that she is in the worst of the winter and the sun will grow brighter from here. i know she sees me as a reason to hope. last year i cried because it finally felt better. i don’t feel like that anymore. i will pretend i do if it means she will have a chance. i told myself when i moved here i would involve myself in the community. these days i don’t even have enough energy for me. i had lists for donations to homeless shelters but now i don’t have a job and i’m eying the food bank line. my life felt so romantic until the whimsy showed up on my credit card bills. last year was my 1st house return, sagittarius rising and pluto taking control or lack thereof, taking three international trips for a total of almost five months, ending bad relationships, taking three mushroom trips to enhance my mind. now in my 2nd house return, good old capricorn venus slides in, and reshapes me grasping for security, hungry for something solid and sure. not that i have a routine now; i wake and sleep at increasingly odd hours and time slips past me in slices and a breeze that tastes like before. it blows through me the way it did seven years ago. i have applied to one job. every day a small stopwatch inside me ticks more loudly. my printer is broken and my shelves tilt and i no longer have anyone wiser i can ask for help.

my lights fall and dangle around me, hanging from dirty, unstuck clear tape. i sit in the cozy nook i have crafted by my window, tucked away from the rest of the room so the light never quite reaches the corners. the tapestry above my head slowly loosens its grip to the ceiling. black and white, yin and yang, two opposing halves; sunlit woman holding wine and bread, under old trees with full leaves. moonlit witch holding a candle and sickle, under twisted trees with gnarled bare branches. it drapes over me and my wilting plants, soft and gentle as death, sudden as a frog in boiling water. black over one eye, white over the other. something shuffles on the roof and i am glad to be shielded either way. then the window flies open and the wind screams. something crashes to the ground. i will be 25 in 2 1/2 weeks. the wind howls cold and violent in the disarray of this room. i lift the fabric from over the plants next to me. i close the window. i climb into bed. another piece of cheap tape gives way and a string of amethysts and lights slips quickly to the floor. their small glow glints off my broken mirror. i turn the other lights off, and imagine deadly creatures on the roof.

[devsgames]

All three good points!

I've said it before and I'll say it again: The term "indie" is functionally useless as an identifier for scale these days in almost any capacity.

On paper "indie" is supposed to mean "independent", as in no source of funding and/or no bureaucratic overhead. That's generally where the bar started at with the term, but now it's more just more of a general tone indicator of genre or spirit with zero acknowledgement of production factors that define it in the first place.

Nowadays we have studios and publisher with significant backing claiming they're producing 'indie works' and have cranked the bar so high that the average consumer who thinks they like 'indie' games actually just likes games of a certain genre or style, and not ones that are actually independently developed. Like seriously we now have multi-million dollar publishing houses that are entities being publicly traded on the stock market who are throwing funding at dozens of projects every year and claiming they are creating 'indie' works (*cough*Devolver Digital*cough*) while consumers just like...believe they're indie whole cloth because they work it into their brand identity. I mean good for people for getting funding, but basically any game with a publisher categorically shouldn't be indie games; they have publishers, funding, safety nets, marketing teams, etc. They're basically making AAA games but in a smaller scale. Some people like to call these "Triple I" games (sorta like Triple A but for Indies), but IMO that still undermines the term indie in the first place.

Also obligatory mention that there's a massive funding gap between what people consider 'indie' and what is actually indie, which leaves virtually no avenues for funding or support for games made without publisher support.

The typical avenue for a game developer making a project and seeking funding is two options:

Arts Funding/Grants (which by and large doesn't exist in most places, usually isn't specialized for video games, and is often small and only getting smaller)

Try and land a publisher (which is incredibly competitive and heavily resource consuming)

If you do manage to land a publisher, you typically need to actually start a studio; you'll receive funding to fund the production of your game, hire labour, manage the business and so on. You then will often have some kind of access to internal marketing teams (or funding to pay for marketing) so people will actually hear about your game and buy it, testing teams (or funding to hire testing of your own) so you don't need to spend time testing, and so on. You might be tied down to a publisher deal but you will be given so so so many resources that automatically puts you leagues ahead a standard developer.

If you don't manage to find a publisher like most devs, then you will have nothing and will just have to figure it out on your own. You won't get funding from anywhere aside from what you can bring into your business. You won't be able to hire anyone else to help make your game and will have to rely on your own skills alone, you won't be given money for marketing and will have to rely on word of mouth or do it yourself, you won't have money for testing and will have to test everything yourself. You are left to do everything yourself, and this includes make money to fund your project.

As mentioned that's how crowdfunding comes in, which some publishers and larger studios have also coopted. After my first experience running a Kickstarter I don't even look at crowdfunding as an option these days, because conventional wisdom is that a large part of your game needs to basically be done if you want to run one successfully.

See how radically different those two experiences are? There are virtually no other avenues out there for people who don't find publishers and still need money. You either find a publisher and manage to swim, or do it independently and are left to do whatever you can to avoid sinking.

Anyway the 'indie' term has been all but lost for most people and consumer especially, so I explicitly make sure to mention in my games that it's made by a solo developer. At least that way I have something to point to and say "hey man I know you think that this is just a bad 'indie' game but in actuality this is a standard game made with like 3000% less manpower than what you'd usually think of as an indie game".

people really need more terms to describe the scope of games other than "AAA" and "indie"