#the sad part was I bought them for my last bday
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rosicheeks · 1 year ago
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💖
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barnabyseyelashes · 11 months ago
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2024.. we finished moving into our own home yesterday. we bought a place in a mobile home park i’m a trailer park gay now. leaving the dogshitpisshell we left in 2023. and we have the duckies!!
i’m still so. tired. but i’m happy. i didn’t realize i was so miserable for so many months. like summer and on.. it just sucked. we felt obtrusive, like burdens, and couldn’t cook anymore.. like living with a woman i have known since middle school? fine. living with her, her mid 40s bf, and his three fucking kids? in a 3bd, 1 of which we rent? hell no lol. they never even introduced me, it’s been months but i don’t know those kids names. living with drunks esp drunks with children and dogs.. no. no. friday there were 6 separate dog shits in the bathroom that used to be ours and it’s like 6 sims tiles, including the tub.. it’s mad disgusting. so happy to be done. sad my “friend” is such no longer, hasn’t been. she has seemed unhappy this last year and well like hm maybe you shouldn’t let a man 10+ years older than you just raise his 3 kids like 1 week into dating. just a thought. but whatever, she has a broke dumb shit man to drink with and 3 kids who ain’t hers to mind. (they don’t mind them—the abject neglect was so painful to watch. imagine being under 10 years old and your family gives so few fucks about you, you can stay up watching yt until 4 am. on a school night. this was a regular occurrence. there was one day she wasn’t home and her bf didn’t even change his kids into pjs. they laughed. we were horrified.) quite sad, she could have been a much better, different person. she was my first romance when we were 14; it didn’t last long, we were too different. so i shouldn’t be surprised we are still too different to be friends. (still thinking about how she said it would be so embarrassing to be on tumblr these days). there’s still old pics of me and a bday card i made her in the old place from high school. they were there before us, and only they shall remain.
our new place is great, one town up from mine, and smaller. more average people here. no blue lives matter flags. it’s gonna be $$$ to keep it, lot fees alone are rent for apartments in other parts of the country, but she’s ours.. 1600 square feet, 2bd, 2ba. backyard big enough to keep the duckies as emotional support animals. it’s 70s but reno’d, roof is new, porch turned into an extension. vaulted ceilings, carpet only in the bedrooms, full size kitchen !! huge closets. we will set up the extension with art and craft tables, wife will have room in the main living space for an office. it’s gonna be really nice to unpack for the first time in 2 years. come visit !!!
most importantly is we don’t have to mask at home anymore, and the bathroom is accesible so i’ll be able to get my hysto done. i need it too, jesus i was so skinny post covid and now i’ve chunked back up and then some. like i just want my fucking clothes to fit and stop cramping and breaking out and having mood swings. so that will be good..
sláinte agus áthas to you all in the new year 🙏✨💕
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jwowwsboobs · 1 year ago
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is there any particular outfit piece that ur looking 2 get/is on your wishlist? if so what is ur plan with it & where would u wear it to
the most specific outfit piece ive looked 4 was a leather harley davidson halter top which i found THIS YEAR after abt a year n 1/2 of watching ebay listings n waiting but usually i try not to focus too much on super duper specific items of clothing cuz ill get fixated n do nothing else BUT look 4 it ... most of what i like is just casual clothing, jeans, tank tops n shirts cuz i do literally 3 things: eat, sleep, thrash, repeat. kidding LOL but i really just like being comfy. i do have a couple pieces like my beloved harley top tht i bust out 4 parties n that sorta thing (wore it when i played my last show lol) but other than that ... i am kickin it in my dirty ass sneakers jeans n a tank top LOL !! i always always always keep my eyes peeled 4 things tht remind me of my favorite parts of fashion from the 70s n mid/late 2000s (well like. 2003-12 tbh its not exactly pure mid 2000s cuz of my love 4 jersey shore n their clothes) !! that being said. the top 3 like...pieces im always keeping an eye n an ear 2 the ground (ebay) 4: (read more cuz there r pics <3)
lowrise jeans w fun things on the back pockets / butt, like these super cute jeans from red pepper !!
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i love love love the look of big patches on jeans esp in the back i feel like its so playful n fun n a little sexy !! i dont like highrise jeans which totally bums me out cuz most of the flares i find / see r high rise n i exclusively wear flared jeans LOL ... like i said most of my style is pretty casual i am not usually putting in a ton of effort 2 look put 2gether n cute n whatever literally i just throw on jeans n a shirt i got at a show n call it a day but having jeans tht hv exciting details like this get me thru life fr <3 my favorite pair r my flame flares which u cn kind of see in my avi but some better pics r below. i wore out th first pair of them (below) n had 2 make another one but they r literally like. iconic 4 me im almost never not wearing thm. wearing them rn even !
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2. vintage band shirts 4 bands tht i cant/wont see in concert ... rn the shirt ive been lusting after is this dope ass etown concrete (BEST JERSEY HARDCORE BAND WILL FIGHT 2 DEATH ON THIS) shirt thats got fuckin mike "the situation" on the back n it says "JERSEY CORE" on the front in the jersey shore font. i am literally so obessed w it u dont get it ... im praying itll still b on ebay in a couple months so i cn get it 4 my bday cuz i am. not prepared 2 drop 124 on a fucking tshirt. yet. but i will. i am not sharing pics cuz i am very paranoid someone will buy it out from under me so i am #gatekeeping. i promise its sick as fuck tho
3. nearly anything thts sort of r bikerish whether tht b theyre vintage or reprinted harley davidson shirts (like my BELOVED "put something exciting between yr legs" tank top) or just from a brand thts demographic is bikers (anjill or not has some CUTE jeans tht im infatuated w!! look at these blinged out jeans like omggggg ... so sad theyre out of the ones w angel wings on the back but honestly idrc im sure theyll come back lol)
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4. pretty much anything they were wearing on jersey shore ... ed hardy, rush couture, affliction, yoga pants, furry boots, shirts w obnoxious sayings on them ... great 4 daily life, 4 shows ... rush couture is my fav honestly, i like the tracksuits they hv on their site rn but hvnt bought one yet n honestly probably wont 4 a while from the state of my bank account 😭😭 oopsie! but anyway yeah ed hardys great n all but ppl charge wayyyy too much 4 those jeans n same w affliction its so . ugh !!
5. n speaking of things ppl overcharge 4 ... of course. juicy couture anything !!!!!!! ive been on the hunt 4 an (affordable! please god) hot pink juicy tracksuit like the kind paris had in the 2000s just 2 lay around the house in LOL but im also carefully watching out 4 a daydreamer or just any of their cute bags cuz i love purses but i am pretty picky abt my juicy cuz its SO expensive. kinda hv 2 b tho n its worth it 2 b
thts kind of all i can think of. usually when i pop in the thrifts i look 4 shit like belts or necklaces or rings tht i dig but i cant wear rings or jewelry very much anymore cuz im either 1) at school or work (no jewelry policy <\3) 2) at house parties/shows moshing 3) laying in my bed recovering LMFAO. i also love looking 4 cheap cowboy hats cuz i LOVE a cowboy hat n i usually always end up giving it away 2 someone at a party or a gig LOL currently all out of cowboy hats but im gonna get some in january probably . idk. need 2 save my money LOL !!
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hangingthoughts · 2 years ago
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December 16, 2022
Hellooooo. So, let's see what happened today. I was able to make a lot of memories. Haha! I am so happy. You know what i thought of? I cannot pinpoint the time, but i thought of the popular saying 'whenever i get too happy, something bad always happens'. For a second there i was scared, but then there's also this peace (Of course, I can only credit that to God given that He's the Only who provides it, anyway) then if that's the case, I'd like to enjoy the happiness as much as i can and only worry about the sad part when it finally happens. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ i mean, i find it senseless to worry about something nonexistent yet. (But F. Kasi ang tagal niya. Nakakagigil) Unless of course there is some basis to it. But as for my situation, there isn't. There is just... happiness. Hahaha but I know, somewhere along the line, it'll get tired of being a linear, and i accept that. Who doesn't? Even when we all strive for a good posture, my back aches to bend sometimes. Okay, now that that is out of the way. Let's see. Let's break down this day.
1. I was able to start my morning with a coffee talk with my mom. We shared yung napanalunan ko sa raffle na cookies.
2. Hinatid ako hanggang Camella gate kay Flash.
3. Hindi ako late. Hehe. And when i got there, the first two people are Jen and Paulo. And God knows, I'm happy that they are. Because then we were able to make a little chika. I'm glad we're all comfortable with each other.
4. I saw my other classmates na hindi nakapunta nung CASED party. 🫶
5. We finally got our ID lace. I have the official Psych ID Lace. What does that make me? Come on, answer. Oh, as for it, i chose the different one. Wala lang. Just so kunti lang katulad nung akin
5. I was entrusted with the room's key. Hello sir Kenneth 🫡
6. Nakuha ko yung upuan sa harap. Hehe. This is a big deal to me given na i kind of have a short attention span.
7. Hindi naglecture si ma'am. I told the people today na kasama ko na i am not confident today kasi i still feel tired from last night.
8. And today's activity afforded us 50% ng finals sa ITP. Hoorahhh!
9. The activity is just being honest with oneself. Hehehehehehehehehehe and writing letters to another. I apologize to all na sinulatan ko. Wala na po akong mapiga na brain cells kanina. Pagod pa 😭
10. I received so much hugs. GOSH, MY FAVORITE PART. AND I MEAN SO MUCH HUGS. When ma'am ask us to give na the letters, i first went to Shan and gave her a hug. After that, i wasn't able to give the rest because God in His goodness and grace, I was trafficked by hugs. HAHAHAHAHAHA & I am seriously shocked. I didn't expect to receive that much letters and hugs. Aww Lord, You are so kind to me. I feel sincerely comforted and loved. Thank You! And thank you ❤️
11. All those letters. I look like a baliw reading them at public places but hey, i am proud and humbled at the same time. Thank ü
12. We were dismissed early. And what did u know, before i even get out of the room, i received another 2 hugs and an immediate another one paglabas ko. HAHAHAHA Aww this melts my heart. Thank You Lord.
13. I received a chocolate! Yay!
14. I received an invitation to go out for lunch. Unfortunately, i had to decline because i promised today's after class is mine. And i really needed to buy mommy a gift.
15. I went to my happy place today! Yay! Cue happy dance~ bought and brought 6 books home today. And almost all of them are classics. Yay! Praise God! I really missed going there. Really missed it. ♥️
16. It's my mom's bday so we ordered food for dinner. KFC and Pizza. I ate 1/4 of it. I forgot we have rotc tomorrow so good luck to me.
17. And last, we have cake. 🫶🫰♥️😳😍🤭❤️ Mango sunrise. U bet I'm gonna eat.
So far, these are all of them. And i thank God because He let me lived today. I wasn't able to do what I'm trying to be (ehem, Atomic Habits) but I sure am grateful that God planned this and that it pleased Him to let me enjoy this day. All glory to Him really ☺️♥️
So, that's all. Tinatamad na ko. Good night 💤
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protegetapaix · 1 year ago
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4/10/23
1.20pm - morning,i woke up with puffy eyes,ikutkan hati nak duduk rumah nangis je but okaylah kuatkan diri,i deserve this trip. Im sti angry,hurt. I feel like you chose this trip over me by not even coming for me while youre still here. But part of me understands why ypu want it so bad,just that you couldnt understand on my end that,i let you go on the trip,but at that exact moment my emotions took over me my overthinking god. and you didnt came for me,you didnt understood me. im sorry for the hurtful words i said,but on my end i can still be angry,because you didnt came for me,you always do,you promised the lasy fallout we had would be the last where you didnt come for me.In the end i still came for you,i waited hours. I have to shower now bye
2.34pm - i reach jb alr sayang,so funny i uldated the gc i alr at checkpoint and they wtf and insisted to follow,tbh idw them fllw bcs got nad n ipan gf but im like wtv,part of me also thought if they came maybe youd come at night but my bad your bus is the next morning..
2.54pm - baru lepas custom sg now in bus to go jb
3.18pm - baru lepas custom jb now changing money den grab to sogo,our fav place
3.35pm - i reached sogo and bought my contact lenses alr rm500 worth of it wtfwtf hahahahah. I miss you
3.45pm - im at popular now to buy stationaries for my book hehe
4.33pm - idk how long i spent in there but damn i was pretty long your friends all waiting for me alr but idc. I didnt know which colours were nice,if you were here youd probably knew which one suits me right.. but i bought the rare beauty blusher ive always wanted and their lipstick too,i picked a pinkish shade smth i would nvr go for but the pink is quite subtle,cant waitt to show you hehe hopefully.
4.44pm - eventho da lambat.. i bought coffee HAHHAAHHAHA the one we bought at angsana but i bought the spanish latte yumyum
9.19pm - we reached the ikan bakar olace alr,the whole time we always infer about you here and there wishing you were here and allsz mostly me eh,cfm they annoyed sia lowkey but we hoping can come w youu.
Also ipan gf syirah spill sm tea sia.. even about nad…. HAHAHAHAHAHA
11.23pm - ok we at pasar karat now
1.13am - ok we home bebs i bought so much thrift shirt and i even bought for afiya n dania bubble bubblleee gun sehhhh HAHAHAH cant wait to show u,i walk around alone while they see see here there hehe healing siot
1.30am ok now i just at balcony smoking they karaoke all
1.50am im with them kat sofa they singing sad songs for me cb we even recorded a vid for u so u can watch when we go here tht next time. Why never see this airbnb sooner seh cfm fun sia with jusy you got board games ,karaoke projector all ohmyyy cant waitbfor your bday also seh
6/10/23
12.20am - im finally in sg sayang,my heart felt so heavy otw home knowing when i reach home i would break down god i miss you my amsyar
1.11am - i reached home idk what time im sorry for not updating,but i cleaned my thrash all to keep my mind off things,you specifically. Yet i still cried when i did all that.
3.28am - i love how im dking this,helps me cope seh its as though im talking to you but i have so much tea to tell you sia abiiii
11.50am - i in 187 now,i hope you enjoy your day today with your friends,jangan buat bukan2… i had major diarrhea jn damn and i also asked rusyd for off alr.
4.16 - i ended break already,i ate tangled hehehehe ok ttyl
8.48pm- I was smoking when she textsd me ,you broke my fucking heart. My love and trust for you. I ended things off with mama papa for real already,they kept asking convincing my heart couldnt take it in anymore i felt so numb till they just said,sarah sayang amsyar kan ? Sabar lah sikit ,sikit je insyaallah. I just teared and gave my salam and ended. I felt so bad they had so much more to say they kept saying eh eh dengar ni hahahaha,my heart cant.
i hope it was worth it my amsyar :)
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lesbiheon · 4 years ago
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hanmasghost · 3 years ago
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“There’s Always Tomorrow..”
A/N: it’s one of my favorite authors birthday, so I decided to write this for them *cough cough* @prince-rukatinaka hope you don’t mind the tag too much and that you enjoy this
Pronouns: He/Him
Warning(s): none, just really more of a bday stressed out comfort fic- so you may get hit in the feels<33
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{Reader} laid at his desk asleep.
He had stayed up writing for his blog for a few hours now, and was really tired.
It didn’t help that he had started writing after walking home from work.
His laptop open, an incomplete draft staring at his unconscious self.
Naoto walked in to find his boyfriend sleeping.
He looked.. peaceful.
The detective had noticed he seemed rather stressed and tired earlier, but whenever Naoto asked if he want to take a break he was told “I need to finish this one last thing, then I’ll take a break, okay?”
He didn’t take a break.
Sad part was, it was {Reader}’s birthday.
Naoto had set up a whole thing for them today and everything.
Well, more like bought some [flavor] ice cream and rented some movies, but it was still something they had planned for him.
So seeing {Reader} so stressed hurt him.
Although they could always celebrate tomorrow.
Naoto sighed and went up to {Reader}.
He looked gorgeous, the soft light of the computer showing off his perfect features.
Naoto carefully had {Reader} move from his desk to his bed, half asleep. Naoto guide him every step of the way.
Naoto than tucked them in and went to turn of his laptop. Their cat {name} standing next to it.
“It’s night night time okay?” Naoto whispered softy as he pet {name}. {Name} purring in response to his touch.
Naoto went and made sure {Reader}’s draft was saved and closed his laptop.
Grabbing {name} they climbed into bed with his boyfriend. {Name} immediately leaving to go crawl up near {Reader}’s legs that were hidden under the warm covers.
Naoto resting one of his hands over you and taking his other hand trying to find yours in the dark to try and hold it in his own.
Once he found your hand he kissed your forehead and started to drift off.
Before he could he heard you mumble a soft, raspy “sorry.”
Naoto smiled in your direction, “there’s always tomorrow my dear, get some rest in now.”
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umbralglade · 2 years ago
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My mid year reading update
Tagged by: @jushiro-ukitake
Amount of books you’ve read so far: 19
Best book you’ve read so far in 2022:
I really have loved pretty much all the books I’ve read this year, but my most favorites have been these!
Pachinko by Min Jin Lee
Dowry of Blood by S.T. Gibson
The Golem and the Jinni by Helene Wecker
Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner
Lonely Castle in the Mirror by Mizuki Tsujimura
Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie
Helpmeet by Naben Ruthnum
The Dispossessed by Ursula Le Guin
Best sequel you’ve read so far in 2022:
I haven’t read a lot of sequels this year, so I just listed them all lol (and I loved them all so!)
Dune Messiah by Frank Herbert (definitely could have gone in general faves)
Any Way the Wind Blows by Rainbow Rowell
The Dispossessed by Ursula Le Guin (part of the Hainish Cycle, which is technically a series)
New release you haven’t read yet but want to:
SO many
Daughter of the Moon Goddess by Sue Lynn Tan
Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield
My Evil Mother: A Short Story by Margaret Atwood
Ordinary Monsters by J.M. Miro
Book of Night by Holly Black
The Ballad of Perilous Graves by Alex Jennings
Thrust by Lidia Yuknavitch
A Half Built Garden by Ruthanna Emrys
Babel: Or the Necessity of Violence... by R.F. Kuang
All the Seas of the World by Guy Gavriel Kay
To Paradise by Hanya Yanagihara
How High We Go in the Dark by Sequoia Nagamatsu
Most anticipated release for the second half of the year:  
I only find out about new books once they’re already out idk! With that in mind:
Nona the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir
Biggest surprise favorite new author (debut or new to you):
S.T. Gibson
Naben Ruthnum
Newest fictional crush: 
I ggguess these would be fictional crushes??? Characters I imagined as........probably hot lol
The Golem AND the Jinni from The Golem and the Ginni by Helene Wecker
Breq and Seivarden from the Imperial Radch trilogy
This is not a crush but I just thought Baek Isak from Pachinko was so sweet and kind I was so sad about him and I think I was in love with him. uh
Book that made you cry:  
I love to cry at fictional things so honestly most of these books probably had me misty eyed at some point, but the books that made me actually cry were:
Pachinko, and
Crying in H Mart, read back to back, literal nonstop crying
Lonely Castle in the Sky had a little publisher’s note at the end about Japanese children’s low reported mental health/happiness, which really got me given the context of the story 
Book that made you happy: 
Lonely Castle in the Sky, in a surprise turnabout from the last question lol. Happy in the cathartic, inner-child-feels-seen kind of way!
Ancillary Justice and its two sequels - I was really excited to get into a trilogy that hooked me so much!
Most beautiful book you’ve bought so far this year (or received): 
Focusing on beautiful like design-wise, and on received rather than bought:
Golem and the Jinni (got for bday)
Lonely Castle in the Sky (got for Christmas)
Favorite rereads this year: 
I only re-read one book, which was:
Wayward Son by Rainbow Rowell - which I really love, I KNOW
What books do you need to read by the end of the year?:
Need to finish (hard to find/read for misc reasons):
Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg
Almanac of the Dead of Leslie Marmon Silko
Prioritized to-reads:
The Night Watch by Holly Black
Parable of the Talents by Octavia E. Butler
The Night Watch by Sarah Waters (have to read one insane historical lesbian drama by this author a year)
Uprooted by Naomi Novik
The Fisherman by John Langan!! Been looking for this everywhere!!
Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield!! Also this one!
Unknown Language by Huw Lemmey and uh um Hildegard von Bingen lol
Carter Beats the Devil by Glen David Gold (book my stepdad told me to read like 15 years ago)
I Contain Multitudes: The Microbes Within Us... by Ed Yong
Entangled Life by Merlin Sheldrake 
Phew! Tagging anyone who wants to do it lol
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tsukishumai · 4 years ago
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Chemical Reaction - Kuroo Tetsuro
Summary: When the universe hands you a second chance, will you be able to move on from the mistakes of your past? 
college!Kuroo x fem!reader
a friends to friends w/ benefits to lovers type of deal.
Warnings: some light NSFW, slow burn, aged up characters, mentions of smoking, mentions of alcohol, fingering, cursing, and a little heartbreak. angst to fluff
Word Count: 7.3k (it goes by fast, I swear (′ꈍωꈍ‵))
A/N:  Jesus... this started out as a prompt, but it snowballed into whatever the hell this is. And it was supposed to be done by Kuroo’s bday T-T but better late than never! I poured in a lil extra love into this, pls give it a shot, lmk what you think, and I hope you enjoy !
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Your history with Kuroo Tetsuro went back a little bit further than you’d like to admit.
He had been in your class for all three years you were at Nekoma, but you had really only popped onto each other’s radars second year.
He had been assigned the seat next to you, and while you were upset that your best friend, Eri, had been sat all the way across the room, you didn’t exactly mind the view.  
Right off the bat, you knew this was going to be trouble for you.
The guy was cute, funny, and smart. How hadn’t you noticed him before?
“Hey, L/N-chan,” he said, already making you blush with the addition of the honorific, “I have many chemistry jokes… but I’m afraid they won’t get a good reaction!”
You couldn’t stop either the face palm or the giggle that slipped out of your lips.
Kuroo was an easy person to get along with. He always greeted you in the mornings, and never really bothered you during class. On the rare occasion he stayed in the classroom for lunch, the two of you would strike up a conversation, but it never went past the surface.
Until about halfway through the school year. Your teacher had assigned a project that required a partner.
You looked to Eri, only to find the little traitor pairing up with the guy she had been eyeing since first year.
You sighed, not even mad at her for trying to shoot her shot.
“Want to be partners?” your head shot to the boy next to you.
“Uhm. Sure!”
And so it went like this; the project was due at the end of the year, requiring a research paper, and a 7 minute power point presentation.
Once or twice a week, the two of you would meet up at the school library either before school or after your club activities.
Kuroo was smart; smarter than you but you’d never say that to his face, so more often than not, the two of you would finish what needed to be done that day, and spent the rest of the time just talking, and getting to know each other.
By the third time the two of you had gotten kicked out by the librarian for laughing too much, Kuroo suggested meeting at his house on the weekends.
Surely that doesn’t mean what you think it means right???
It doesn’t, lmao. This guy was a good student, he made sure you guys finished your parts, because there was no way he was going to get anything less than an A.
Oh, you guys finished a little early today? Great! L/N-chan! Help me with my receives!
As the weeks pass by, there was a mutual progression in the relationship, neither of you seeing each other as project partners anymore, and falling into a comfortable friendship.
For Kuroo, that is. You, on the other hand, just became way too good at acting like you weren’t falling in love.
The school year is coming to a close, and you turn in your project.
Surprise, surprise! You guys got an A.
Seriously, the teacher said she was going to start using it as an example for the future students.
You couldn’t even be happy about your passing grade; you were too sad that your time with Kuroo was ending.
“Well, it was really fun being your partner this year,” you said, and Kuroo cocked an eyebrow at you.
“Why do you sound like someone’s dying,” he joked, “Anyway, Kenma said he bought a new game, but it’s multiplayer. What time are you coming this weekend?”
Bitch, ya heart nearly jumped out of your chest.
For a little while, you were content with things being like that. You had become good friends with not just Kuroo, but Kenma as well. You guys weren’t always together, but definitely made a point to make time for each other.
While you guys were usually busy during the week, club activities, homework and school taking up most of your time, Saturdays at Kuroo’s had become a thing well into your third year. As much as possible, you would try to attend his games, and he would try to bring you snacks when he knows you’re stuck studying.
You tried really hard not to read into the things he would do for you.
Surely, he’s also held Kenma’s bag while walking him home, right?
He’s memorized his whole team’s schedule; it’s nothing special if he also has yours memorized.
You know that he only brought you lunch today because he had to share half of his when you forgot yours.
All normal friend stuff, right! Right?!
“I met a cute girl the other day,” he said to you absentmindedly one morning before class.
Wait. Your chest shouldn’t feel so tight, should it? Your eyes are swimming, and your head is floating. Every breath feels like lead in your lungs, and you kinda wished the ground would swallow you whole.
“Oh, Really?” you tried to be nonchalant, and hoped he didn’t notice the shakiness in your voice.
He nodded. “Yeah… she’s kinda funny.”
But you were really funny, weren’t you? You were the one that made him laugh like a hyena, made him clutch his stomach and gasp for breath, right?
“Is that so?” your mouth felt like sandpaper, “Why don’t you try taking her out on a date?”
You wish you had never said those words.
You knew the girl he was talking about; you had seen Kuroo approach her in the hallway.
She was your teammate in the track and field club; not one of the fastest, but she was beautiful, kind, friendly, and Kuroo was right – she really was kind of funny.
“You should have told him first, you know,” Kenma had mumbled from next to you once, eyes never leaving his game while yours quickly shot him a glare.
It was just the two of you at the lunch table – Kuroo mumbling an excuse about having plans with another “friend”.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Kenma just rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”
You spend the next few weeks avoiding him; it was easier since he didn’t sit next to you in class anymore, you weren’t really replying to his texts as often, you stopped visiting him and Kenma at practice, and you had missed the game you had told them you would try to go to.
You were kind of starting to realize that it was mostly you that had to go and seek them out.
Now that you weren’t doing these things… where was he?
You would catch a glimpse of Kuroo when he would visit your teammate during practice; he would try to greet you but you’d only shoot him a tight smile.
So when you heard a loud knock on your door at eight o clock in the evening, the last person you expected was the roosterhead himself.
“Hey,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, “I could tell something was bothering you, and I’ve been trying to give you your space, but… it’s been weeks now so, I just have to know… Are you avoiding me?”
You didn’t really know what to say, if there is even anything else to. Even with your head down and eyes trained to your feet, you could feel the burn of his gaze.
“I...” the deep timbre of his voice always managed to give you chills, “I miss you.”
Is he fucking serious right now? He’s so smart, yet he can’t put two and two together? He can see his opponents’ moves before they happen, yet he can’t even see you standing right in front of him?
“I have feelings for you, Kuroo,” you blurted out before you could stop yourself.
Kuroo’s eyes widened by a fraction, his mouth slightly hung agape, dumbfounded by your seemingly random confession.
Except, it wasn’t random to you. You’ve been harboring these feelings for months, and after hurting yourself by staying silent for so long, you decided that you deserve better.
You’ll accept whatever the outcome, if that’s the price for your peace.
“Y/N…” it took him a long time to finally speak, and you try to ignore the fact that this is the first time he’s called you by your first name.
His face clearly showed his struggle to get the words out. “I’m sorry, I didn’t… I –“
You raised your hand. You didn’t really want to hear any more than that.
“It’s okay,” you said, giving him a small smile.
And with that, you shut the door on Kuroo Tetsuro.
You do your best to move on, smiling and laughing with friends you wouldn’t usually talk to you, ignoring the ghost of your past that haunt you every time you walked passed by Kuroo and your teammate down the hall.
You throw back a laugh at whatever the person next to you had said, turning away to miss the fact that Kuroo’s eyes always followed you wherever you went.
Graduation day came and in the blink of an eye, your days at Nekoma were behind you.
The days passed, the seasons changed, the flowers bloomed, and then they died.
You started university, moving to a different city and living with the very same best friend whose betrayal to quench her own thirst became the catalyst for your greatest heartbreak.
You’ve forgiven her for that though, you guess.
Life in college was the breath of fresh air that you needed.
New things to learn, new places to discover, and new faces to help you forget the scars of old ones.
Years pass by, and while you’ve allowed yourself to feel the touch of others, allow them to make you laugh, allow them to make you cry, you’ve never really allowed yourself the luxury of falling in love again.
Who has time for that any way?
Definitely not you. You just needed to finish your undergrad, and get into med school.
You had plans for your life, you weren’t going to compromise your dreams just for another person, and no matter whom you dated or how much they liked you, this fact had always rubbed them the wrong way.
You were finally starting your last year at your undergrad, quite possibly one of the most important years of college, what with your thesis, med school applications, and your entire future pretty much on the line, no big deal.
Your first class of the day was chemistry. You had been avoiding the last chemistry class required by your degree, all of your friends telling you that it was one of the hardest classes they’ve ever taken, and so naturally, you ran away for as long as possible.
The class wasn’t due to start for another fifteen minutes when you walked in, giving you a perfect opportunity to grab a seat of your liking.
You ended up choosing one in the third row – you knew that if you sat in the back, you wouldn’t pay attention.
You take out your laptop, books, and all required materials, using this free time to check any emails from your professors.
You were checking the time – 5 minutes left until class started – when you were interrupted.
“L/N-chan?”
Your feel your body stiffen up at the sound of a voice you hadn’t heard in years.
You turn your head to your left, hoping to all the gods that maybe you were mistaken.
“Kuroo?” you said in disbelief, and oh honey… you could not believe he was standing right before you.
Kuroo seemed like he hadn’t changed at all. His hair seemed a little bit more managed, he was a little bit taller, his muscles filled out his shirt better… but he still had the same goofy smile on his face, and that undeniably mischievous twinkle in his eye.
“What are you doing here?” you blurted out. “I thought you went to a university in Tokyo?”
“I did, but I transferred this year,” he said, “This university has a great marketing program.”
“I can’t believe it,” you mumble out, more so to yourself than him, “It’s been years.”
He gave you a smile. “It has.”
He took the seat next to you, much to your surprise. You almost wanted to open your mouth in protest, but what could you say? ‘You can’t sit there’?
You were thankful that the class had only gone over the syllabus, because you didn’t hear a word the professor said.
When you told Eri about it later, she just laughed.
“I always thought Kuroo-san was a nice guy,” she commented, her back turned while she cooked the both of you dinner.
“I never said he wasn’t,” you said, throwing back the rest of the wine in your glass.
“What, you still like him or something?” Eri teased, plating the noodles she had created and setting it in front of you.
“Of course not,” you grumbled, stabbing at the plate with a fork, and the amused look on Eri’s face tells you that her silence was just to placate you.
The next few weeks of the semester went by without any incident.
Kuroo stayed in the seat next to you, and you didn’t let yourself wonder why.
You were proud at yourself for being able to talk to Kuroo the way that you were; he still made the same stupid chemistry jokes in high school, but now you felt like you could laugh at them without choking on the air around you.
It was easy.
Until it wasn’t.
“Alright everyone,” your professor began one rainy morning, “We’re about halfway through the semester, and this is usually around the time I like to assign a little project.”
All of a sudden, you felt a strange feeling of déjà vu.
“Now, it’s only going to be worth about a third of your grade in the class, so I suggest not slacking off on this one. This is going to require a partner, and before you go texting your bestie that you want to ‘link up’, I’ve taken the liberty of assigning your partner for you.”
Oh, Christ. You were praying you wouldn’t get partnered up with a dead weight.
“When I call your name, raise your hand so I could introduce you to your new partner.”
You waited patiently for your name to be called, but Kuroo’s had been called first.
“Kuroo Testuro.”
Kuroo raised his hand.
“Your partner will be... let’s see here… ah, L/N F/N!”
No. No fucking way.
Your arm involuntarily raised, the professor nodding his head in acknowledgement.
You slowly turn to face Kuroo, who had an unreadable smile placed on his lips, your professor’s voice droning on in the background.
“Well,” he said, laughter laced in his words, “Isn’t this familiar?”
At first, you felt incredibly apprehensive at the thought of being partnered with your high school crush, but at the end of the day, you were actually incredibly thankful.
Kuroo was just as smart and diligent as he was back then, and you had every confidence that your project was going to get the highest grade.
You tried to make it a point to meet in public places – cafes, libraries, and the like.
But soon, Kuroo suggested that it would just be easier and more comfortable to meet at either your place or his.
He only ever came by when Eri was home too, which would have been fine if the smirk on her face didn’t make you so nervous.
You noticed that his roommate was always around when you came over as well. You learned his name was Bokuto, and though he was a little loud, his presence was actually a little comforting.
Honestly, it all felt so… nostalgic. Whenever you would finish your work for the day, then the two of you would spend the time talking, catching up, and laughing at stupid jokes, almost as if the two of you were friends again.
Almost like nothing happened between you at all.
“Hey,” you started one day, curiosity getting the better of you after a particularly steamy conversation about past relationships, sitting on the floor with your iPad on your lap and homework strewn about all over the living room floor, “Whatever happened between you and that girl from high school?”
Kuroo just gave you a sad smile, and you thought she must have broken his heart pretty badly.
“Oh that…” he waved it off, “That was a mistake. A big one.”
You figured it was better not to ask any more questions.
Eri walked out of her room soon after Kuroo left that night, her arms crossed and leaning against the door’s archway as she watched you wash the dishes.
You guys are getting pretty close,” she mused.
She couldn’t see you roll your eyes. “Well, yeah, we were pretty good friends in high school.”
Eri let out a humorless laugh. “I stand by my statement that Kuroo-san is a nice guy,” she said, walking up next to you to place a hand on your shoulder, “But I haven’t forgotten how long it took you to get over what happened.”
Your hands stilled in the soapy water for a second, but you chose not to say anything.
“I’m just saying,” Eri started to walk back to her room, calling out her last words behind her shoulder, “Be careful.”
Eri’s words echoed in your head whenever you were with Kuroo.
Every time he offered to pay for your food, you made sure to insist you’d pay for it yourself. If he tried to grab your bag from your shoulder when you walked, you’d hold on tighter and say you were fine.
You didn’t avoid him like you did before, but you made every attempt to keep him at arm’s length.
It seems your attempts were all for nothing, however, when the semester ended.
“Amazing job,” were the words that came from your professor when giving your passing grade.
“We did it,” Kuroo said happily, the two of you making your way out of the class, “It’s finally over.”
“Thank god,” you laughed back.
“Hey,” Kuroo started, though he was looking at everywhere but you, “Bokuto’s gone and visiting his boyfriend for the weekend, but I was wondering if you wanted to come over for drinks later?”
You blinked, trying to even your breathing.
“You know, to celebrate the end of the semester, and acing that nightmare class.”
You should say no, right? Wait, but you’re grown now. You’ve moved on from what happened back then. The two of you did work really hard this semester, what’s wrong with celebrating your achievements?
“I think we’ve earned it,” Kuroo laughed.
“Yeah,” you said, and you were glad for it just from the smile that spread on his stupid face, “We really have! I’ll be there.”
“See you at eight?”
You nodded at his words as he waved goodbye, going your separate ways.
Ten hours later, you were sitting next to Kuroo on his living room floor, sake cup full to the brim as BNHA plays on his TV.
“Ah, Deku’s in the hospital,” Kuroo slurred, sake sloshing out of his cup when he pointed to the screen, “That’s a shot!”
The two of you threw back the warm liquid, and you were kind of worried that it didn’t taste like anything anymore.
“Kuroo,” you laughed, “We’re only on the second episode… and I think I’ve taken, like, twelve shots at this point.”
“This was your idea!”
“Well, I have another idea,” you started to get up, causing Kuroo to get up as well, “Let’s order take out!”
He laughed at your red face, agreeing with you.
You started to make your way to the couch, but all of a sudden, you felt dizzy, a head rush taking over your senses as you stumbled over your feet.
Kuroo caught you before you could hit the floor.
“You okay?” he laughed, and the sound of it elicited a laugh from your own lips.
In a second, the two of you erupted in giggles, snickering at nothing in particular while his strong arms still held you in place.
Suddenly, you were hyperaware of his touch on your skin, and you let your eyes trail from the strong hands around your waist, to the golden honey eyes that were already staring at your face.
You can’t exactly remember how, but the next thing you knew, you were pinned under Kuroo on his bed, his soft lips moving in tandem with yours while his hot tongue took over your whole mouth.
Your arms were looped around his neck, and he slid his calloused hands up your arm.
You felt his hands grip onto your wrists before he pulled them off his necked and pinned them onto the mattress.
You took in a deep breath once he disconnected from your mouth, planting a trail of kisses along your jaw line and down to your neck, before you slid his tongue across your supple skin.
You shivered, acutely aware of the fact that he has you trapped.
“Be careful,” Eri’s words echoed in your mind.
Fuck, you tried to think but it was hard when Kuroo just threw his shirt across the room, hovering over you with chiseled abs and defined muscles.
The heat returned to your body when he lowered his head, and popped a hard nipple into his mouth.
Your body arched at the feel of his teeth grazing against your skin, goosebumps racing when he dipped his hand beneath your underwear, a slender finger gliding down your folds before inserting into you.
You weren’t prepared for the intrusion, and he captured the gasp that came out of your mouth with his lips.
He was now holding down both of your wrists with one hand, never realizing that he was that much bigger than you.
He slid out his finger, bringing it to his mouth to give a long lick, before dipping his hand back down, and pushing in two.
You threw your head back when Kuroo curled his fingers, wondering how the hell he was able to find your g spot so quickly.
You felt like an animal caught in his trap, caged in with your arms pinned down, no choice but to let Kuroo draw out your orgasm while he pumped and curled into you, circling his thumb over your swollen clit.
Your legs were shaking while you screamed out his name, embarrassed that you were cumming so hard when he hasn’t even actually fucked you
He didn’t give you a chance to recover from your orgasm
In one swift movement, Kuroo let go of your hands and pulled out his fingers so he could grab a leg in each hand to fold you over in a press.
You don’t even know when Kuroo had taken his pants – or yours – off, and you didn’t have time to wonder.
A moan escaped your lips at the feel of his length filling you up, and you distinctly hear Kuroo tell you to say his name.
“Kuroo,” you moaned, bringing your hands to his shoulders, grasping at his body.
Every buck of his hips shot a jolt of pleasure throughout your body, unable to escape the feeling with Kuroo holding you down in place.
Who the hell would want to escape from here anyway?
“My first name,” he growled, quickening his pace when he felt your walls tighten around his dick.
“Tetsuro!” you screamed without a second thought, the brutal rhythm Kuroo has set driving heat onto your stomach, repeating his name over and over even after you feel your pussy gushing all over him, your cum dripping down from his shaft to his balls.
“Fuck,” Kuroo growled out, driving into you one last time before he spilled hot white, trying hard to catch his breath while coming down from this high.
The two of you lay together in the darkness for a while, your head on his chest and his arms around his shoulder.
The silence that surrounded the room was comfortable; almost like a bubble of peace that neither of you wanted to pop by saying anything.
“Be careful,” Eri’s fucking voice told you, yet again
While you didn’t regret what had just happened between you and Kuroo, doubts were beginning to creep in your mind.
What the hell was supposed to happen now? You’re not sure if Kuroo was expecting this outcome when he invited you over for drinks, but it happened, and you’re not really sure where to go from here.
You’ve already built a life for yourself – one that was truly yours – and you had a path that you had every intention to follow.
Would Kuroo be like every other guy and run away when he finds out you’re not compromising your plans for him? Would you even want to try to fit him into your plans?
You shake your head.
Jesus, get a grip. A guy dicks you down /once/, and all of a sudden you’re thinking about this shit?
“Y/N? You okay?” He asked from beside you.
You lift your head from his chest, sitting up so you could lean your back against his headboard. Kuroo was quick to mirror your actions.
“Kuroo,” you begin to tell him, and he frowned a little at the sound of his last name, “That was… amazing.”
Kuroo blushed a little at your compliment, though he knew it didn’t stop there. “…But?”
“But,” you bit your lip, “I’m not really looking for anything serious right now.”
Kuroo didn’t respond right away, but maybe that’s because you just kept babbling. “It’s just… I have so much going on with school, not to mention grad school applications are due in a few months, and who knows which university I’ll end up going to after graduation…”
You finally had the courage to look at him, and you caught a glimpse of what you would have thought was sadness in his eyes if it hadn’t been blinked away so quickly, soon replaced with that same unreadable smile.
“Whatever you want, Kitten,” he replied, “This doesn’t have to be anything more than what it is.”
You let out a breath of relief.
He walked you home that night (or morning, considering it was 1am), still trying your best to set boundaries even though you pretty much let him thoroughly wreck you.
He didn’t give you a kiss goodbye, instead sheepishly waving when he sees you entering the door to your apartment, saying he’ll shoot you a text tomorrow.
You thought things would be weird between the two of you after that night, but you were happy to find that it wasn’t.
You had managed to rekindle your friendship with Kuroo – meeting up to study, grabbing lunch if you had the time, maybe catching the occasional movie.
Though, you didn’t tell Eri about the added benefits.
(Kuroo Tetsu-hoe) Today: 12:37AM
You up?
[To: Kuroo Tetsu-hoe] Today: 12:49AM
Yeah, doing my Lit. paper.
(Kuroo Tetsu-hoe) Today: 12:50AM
Wanna do me instead?
[To: Kuroo Tetsu-hoe] Today: 12:58AM
Say less.
ou didn’t have to tell Eri about the added benefits – she wasn’t dumb, where else would her roommate be going in the middle of night?
You’ve had other men before, going through your fair share of sexual experiences before climbing into bed with Kuroo.
But he was still managing to show you new things, reaching spots you never even knew existed before, putting his mouth in places that made your eyes water and lungs burn from gasping for air.
You can’t explain the feeling you get when he’s running his hands across your body, and when he stares at you and nothing but you while he’s pumping into you and making you feel so full in more ways than one, it’s something akin to a chemical reaction.
There was one time, when he took a belt, secured it against his head post before he brought your legs up to –
“Earth to Y/N,” Kuroo said, waving a hand in front of your face.
“Sorry,” you said, shrugging your shoulders, “I was having a flashback.”
Kuroo smirked, knowing exactly what you meant.  
The two of you were lying in bed, your back against his chest and a strong arm wrapped around your waist.
You laid your hand on top of his, fiddling with his fingers and reveling in the calm that always came from being with Kuroo.
“What you thinking about?” You ask, and the way he stiffened up in your grip let you know that something really was bothering him.
It took him a little longer than you’d like before he replied.
“Do you ever feel like… you want more?”
This time, it was you that stilled in his arms.
“Be Careful.”
You turned around to face Kuroo.
“I thought we talked about this?”
Kuroo’s eyes searched your face, for what, you have no idea. But you stared back with just as much intensity, hoping that he would find the answer he was looking for.
Fear. That’s what was written all over your face.
Kuroo let out a humorless laugh. “Forget I said anything.”
He stood up to put his boxers on and slipping on a shirt before heading out onto the balcony that was attached to his room.
You gave him a few moments before getting up to gather your clothes from the floor, silently putting them on before you joined him outside.
You find him leaning against the balcony railing on his forearms, a cigarette lit in one hand.
He doesn’t turn his head towards you, but he does offer his cigarette, and you take it quietly.
You bring the white filter to your lips, taking a deep drag, closing your eyes when you feel your head get lighter, and releasing the smoke from your lungs.
“Kuroo,” you started, voice nothing but a soft whisper, “I’m sorry… I didn’t – “
He raised a hand to stop you.
“It’s fine,” he replied. “Like I said, forget I mentioned anything.”
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
“Hey,” he said, taking his cigarette back from you and taking a drag himself, “Kenma’s having a party this weekend. They’re inviting over some old classmates from Nekoma. He says he misses you. You should come.”
Your ears perk up at the invitation, excited at the thought of seeing your old friend and a little happy that he’s moving past the subject.
"Kenma? Is having a party?”
Kuroo laughed. “Alright. Yaku is having a party, but we’re doing it at Kenma’s place. It’s actually not that far from here, just one train ride.”
You chuckled, shaking your head knowingly.
“Yeah, I’ll go,” you agreed, “But, uhm… I’ll just meet you there?”
Kuroo nodded. “Yeah. I’ll just meet you there.”
You didn’t see Kuroo the rest of that week.
You weren’t sure what it was – he wasn’t ignoring you, he replied to your text messages and answered your calls.
But he hadn’t once asked you to come over. And after what happened that night, you were scared to ask him to come over.
The night of Kenma’s party came, and you entered to find way more people than you had expected. You didn’t recognize more than half of the people there, but relief washed over you when Yaku threw an arm around your shoulder.
You didn’t see Kuroo right away when you arrived, but you were too distracted at the joy from seeing some of your old classmates.
You were half way through a game of beer pong with Lev as your partner before Kuroo was able to make an appearance.
He made his rounds, saying his greetings to everyone before stopping at you, giving you a friendly one armed hug.
You didn’t want to admit that you were a bit sad at the generic greeting.
Was it because maybe… you want…. mor –
“Y/N! Shoot the damn ping pong ball,” Lev exclaimed, and you were shook out of your reverie. 
Kuroo excused himself, saying he was going to the kitchen to make himself a drink, but you were too focused on winning your game to notice.
Before you knew it, you lost three to two against Kenma and Yamamoto, cursing at Lev for forcing you to carry the team on your back.
By this point, the alcohol had spread all through your system. You were still able to walk straight, but with considerable effort. The words that came out of your mouth were just a little slurred, and you were kind of having a hard time controlling the volume of your voice.
“Where’s Kuroo?” you asked Yaku, who instantly shot a hand up to rub his ear.
“Jesus, woman, you don’t have to yell, I am /right here,” he grumbled, but he still let you sling an arm around his shoulders for support. “I thought he went into the kitchen to get some drinks?”
That’s right, he said that. But that was hours ago. Where could he be?
You stagger away from Yaku, pushing your way past unfamiliar bodies to get to the kitchen.
The first thing you saw when you tripped into the kitchen was Kuroo, dressed in a fitted black shirt and blue jeans, looking every bit the Greek God he was as he leaned against the counter. His arms were crossed atop his broad chest, a drink in one hand.
He was talking to someone, and you thought you recognized the long black hair that flowed from the back of their head, but were too distracted studying the veins that protruded from Kuroo’s forearms.
You opened your mouth to call out to him when the person in front of him stepped up, pressing their body into his. She uncrossed his arms and snaked two long arms around his neck.
You recognized her in that instant.
It was his ex from high school.
Looking down, you were surprised to see your clothes dry, because it felt like someone poured a bucket of ice water directly on top of your head.
“Be careful,” Eri’s words echoed in your head for the ten millionth time.
Yet here you were
In the same exact place you were a little over three years ago.
You scoffed at yourself.
Well, there’s nothing else for you here now, is there?
You shoot Yaku and Kenma a quick text in a group chat to let them know you were leaving.
The air outside was cold, your breath coming out in puffs. You wrapped your jacket around a little tighter, cursing yourself silently for not wearing a scarf cause it’ll ‘ruin the outfit.’
“Hey, the party’s that way.”
The sudden voice behind you nearly made you jump ten feet in the air.
“Jesus, you really are like a fucking cat.”
Kuroo chuckled.
For some reason, the sound made you angry. You kept walking, following the path of dimmed street lights that led you to the train station.
“Yeah, but home’s this way.”
His heavy footsteps trailed behind you.
“Great, I was getting tired of the party anyway.”
“What are you doing here?” You finally turned your head to him and asked.
Your voice was surprisingly clear and even, despite the unsteadiness of the ground beneath you.
“What do you mean? I’m walking you home.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s late, and you’re my friend.”
‘Friend’. The word made you wince, even though you were the one that drilled the idea into his head.
“I saw you talking to your ex,” you grumbled, crossing your arms and turning the other direction.
You could practically feel his smirk.
“Oya? Is that jealousy I’m hearing in those words?”
You felt your face get hot.
“Of course not!”
- “I thought we were just friends?”
“Will you shut up for once in your life, idiot!”
He wanted to tease you some more, but was stopped by the pensive look on your face.
“Why would you leave the girl that broke your heart behind just to walk me home?”
Kuroo looked at you with a confused expression.
“Girl that broke my heart?”
You nodded. “When I asked you about her, you said she was a big mistake.”
Kuroo stopped walking. You turned your head back to look at him curiously when he doubled over in a full bellied laugh.
“Are you laughing at me?!” You asked incredulously, giving him a glare from where you stood.
“You... you think she’s the one that broke my heart?”
Kuroo wiped a fake tear from his eye.
“Wow. That was a good one.”
“What the hell are you going on about, Kuroo?”
The jovial look on Kuroo’s face slowly faded, the entertained smile on his face shrinking his lips into a thin line.
“Y/N, she didn’t break my heart.”
Now it was your turn to be confused.
“You want to know why I said she was a big mistake?” Kuroo took a step towards you, “It was because of her that I lost you.”
Your jaw dropped.
Kuroo ran his fingers through his hair, ruining the perfectly waxed locks that he had spent thirty minutes styling.
“Please don’t run away when I tell you this.”
You couldn’t move your feet even if you wanted to.
“The only reason I ever brought her up to you in the first place was because I wanted to see your reaction. I wanted to know if you would get jealous. But without hesitation, you told me that I should just go ahead and date her, and you know dumb young men and their pride... then... it just... snowballed into something I didn’t even...”
Kuroo couldn’t finish his sentence.
Your vision begins to shake.
“But... but I confessed to you!”
“Yeah, then you slammed the door in my face and stopped talking to me!”
You couldn’t deny that.
“Do you have any idea how confusing that was for a teenage boy? I had no idea what the hell was going on, one day, I blinked and I was stuck with a girl I didn’t love while I watched my best friend smile and laugh and walk passed me like I never even existed.”
You swallowed the guilty lump that was caught in your throat.
“All I knew was that you weren’t around anymore; you weren’t there to make me laugh with your dumb jokes, you weren’t coming over and leaving your presence all over my room, nothing, it was all gone, and it all felt so fucked up. Being without you felt so fucked up.” 
Had Kuroo always felt this way? Were you really so busy running away from him that you couldn’t even see that he was hurting too?
“Now the universe or the gods or whatever brought me back to you, and it’s like everything makes sense again, and fuck, all I want to do is just show you how much I’ve missed you, how much I care, how much I love you.”
You gasped, and you were waiting for Kuroo to try and take those words back, but the resolve was painted in his eyes.
“But all you do is just keep me at arms length. You wanted to be just friends when I wanted everything.”
You choked back a sob, tears were now steadily streaming down your face.
Kuroo closed the space between you, wrapping one arm around your waist while bring his other head to wipe at your tears with the pad of his thumb.
 “She wasn’t the girl that broke my heart. You were.”
He moved to place his fingers on your chin, tilting your head up to force you to look at his eyes.
He wanted you to see that he meant every single word.
“If this is all you’re willing to give me, I’ll take it. I’ll break my own heart. Every day, over and over again, if that’s what it takes to be with you.”
His voice was in a whisper now, bringing his lips to kiss both sides of your cheeks.
“Because I love you.”
He brought his hands to cup for your face before pulling you in for a kiss.
This wasn’t anything like you’ve ever experienced before.
Every time his tongue brushed against yours, you felt all the love adoration he was trying to convey in this one physical act, hoping he could transfer it all into your lips.
It felt like time stopped just for the two of you, to have this moment in the middle of the sidewalk, bathed in the orange glow of the street light that hung above you.
He pulled away finally, resting his forehead on yours for just a second before he engulfed you with his arms.
His head rested on top of yours, feeling the vibrations as he spoke.
“I’m going to ask you one more time,” he said nervously. “Do you want something more?”
You wiggle out of his grip just so you can move your hands up to caress his cheek.
“Tetsuro... I love you so much.”
Later that night, in the safety of your room and away from Eri’s judgmental eyes at the two of you stumbling in and giggling through the door, you trace small circles on Kuroo’s chest with your fingers while Kuroo had an arm wrapped around you tightly.
“Hey, Tetsu,” you broke the silence with a whisper, “What if I end up going to grad school that was... further away?”
Kuroo couldn’t help but smile and shake his head. You were never going to change.
Not like he would ever want you to.
“Y/N... we didn’t talk for three years, and not once did I stop thinking about you. A little distance isn’t going to get rid of me.”
You try to bury your face in embarrassment.
If he had to spend every day of the rest of his life reassuring you that he’ll be by your side no matter what, well - that’s just too easy.
You find yourself holding onto him a little bit tighter, making a silent vow that never again were you going to push away Kuroo Tetsuro.
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akaashisupremacy · 4 years ago
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Job Wanted: Boyfriend
Summary: Makki is callous w/ his words. After a big fight, he knows he needs to make changes. Can he make things work before it’s too late? 
Notes: Right on time for Hanamki’s birthday!! In the fic it’s his actual bday too lol!! Inspired by hcs about Hanamaki’s toxic traits that lives in my mind rent free!
January Fic List || Masterlist || Read it on Ao3
Hanamaki  x reader  
genre: ANGST, lovers to exes to ??, pining, tw: toxic-ish relationship (wc: 1.9 k)
“It’s not my job to be your boyfriend.” Takahiro Hanamaki mutters with his arms crossed, “Stop trying to police what I have to say!”
Your eyes widen in disbelief. You knew it was over between you two then and there.
You met Makki while working in a soba restaurant. He was charismatic, smart and efficient. Whenever you two were on the same shift, he tried to make the work fun. You both started hanging out after work—indie films in the university theatre, library study sessions, walks home after work. Makki even traded shifts just to see you more often.
All you were asking from him was to be more sensitive. Enough was enough. Sure he liked you and you liked him, but compatibility was a separate thing altogether. He knew you were touchy about comments on your art, your looks and your confidence, but he just didn’t know when to shut up.
“You’re wearing that sweater really?”
“This piece looks okay, like subpar on a good day.”
If he doesn’t want to have to be careful with his words, then  you don’t want to have to be around him. You swiftly grab your things and walk out the door. When it finally sinks into him two seconds later, he stumbles onto the door apologizing. You refuse to hear any of it.
“I didn’t mean it-- ”
But fun hang outs and serious dating are two different things, and the end of your relationship proved just that.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Makki tries to apologize to you when he sees you, but nothing seems to work. Eventually he gives in and allows you both to drift apart—he stops catching you in the library and trading shifts, which was fine by you.
After a few months, Makki finds himself staring at his phone one fateful afternoon. He’s still debating whether to make the call or not. In the end, he shrugs his shoulders. There’s really nothing to lose.
When you see his name, you pick up because of your curiosity more than anything.
“To what do I owe this occasion?” you snort. You hear him repress a chuckle.
“Damn, I haven’t said anything yet and you’re hostile already.” he laughs. You threaten to put the phone down.
“Hey, on my last birthday you said that may all your wishes come true, right? Well, my next birthday is coming up and my wish is to spend the day with you.”
“I’m in Kyoto right now. You’re in Tokyo.” you point out. You are both on semestral break. Has he already forgotten that you spend your breaks with your grandmother in Kyoto?
“I’ll take the day off and I’ll come down to see you.” he holds his breath as he waits to hear your answer, “We haven’t hung out in a while.” he adds casually.
“Can’t you just spend it with someone else?” you sigh somewhat resigned, “The not hanging out part is on you. Don’t put that on me.”
You could hear him thoughtfully inhale on the phone before he replies, “No, I want to spend it with you. Besides, I’ve always wanted to see Kyoto.”
“I’m ending the call now.” you roll your eyes, unnerved by the whole conversation. The audacity of this man!
“I promise I won’t do anything or say anything dumb!” you hear him yell over the phone as you get ready to end the conversation.
“Sure.” You click the end call button.
———————————————————————
On his birthday, you do go out with him. You find yourself waiting at the Kyoto Central Station, wading through the crowds to find his light brown head searching intently for you. He smiles when he sees you. You feel a mixture of sadness and nerves. You’d never thought he’d be so callous with you when he first smiled at you like this.
If anything, today is little more than a break from work. You’re also determined to be so quiet to the point of cold to make the experience so awkward he’ll never want to come to you again.
“I really want to change.” is the first thing he says to you over doughnuts and coffee.
Makki can easily tell that you are still not back to your old self. Despite the strong smell of brewed coffee that pervades the Kyoto Central Station, you sit quietly on your seat distractedly eating a sandwich.
You almost pretend to not hear him. Instead you turn to him with a blank expression in your face and look away.
“I’m serious. I know I have a problem. You’re not the first person to leave me for the things I’ve said.” he adds.
“I’m sure the next person you date will appreciate that.” you mumble diplomatically.
“Don’t give up on me.” you hear his voice pleading, his eyes sincere and not their usual sleepy nonchalance.
You put down the donut and cross your arms, “I don’t owe you a second chance. You know that, right?”
“I’m really sorry—“
“Makki, I hate so many things about myself. I don’t need you to taunt or repeat them to me. You’re an above average friend at best, but you’re a terrible person to date. I can’t even call you my boyfriend because you you said it wasn’t your ‘job.’” you sigh deeply with your hand on your forehead, “Can you see why I’m not enthusiastic about you?”
Announcements left and right and the ceaseless shuffling of the busy station fill the voids of your conversation.
“So why spend the day with me?” he pauses, eyes wide with curiosity looking straight into yours.
“To prove a point to you. Even when you’ve made the effort to come down here, you’re finding it difficult to watch what you say. Do you find that sustainable?” you tilt your head inquiringly.
He nods, less confident than usual “I want it to be sustainable.” There was some uncertainty in his eyes.
“I can already see it, Makki. Two weeks of this and you’ll be ready to blow your top because you’ll be tired from having to be on edge all the time.”
“I’ve got to start somewhere, right? It’s a change of mindset I’m realizing, but it’s not impossible. I’ve been trying to be more careful and it’s been easier. I’m just a little tense because I’m around you today.” he says quietly, “I’m really trying. I promise.”
“Feels nice to be the one that’s not tense,” you let slip a smirk.
———————————————————————————————
At the end of the day, you’re back at the train station with Makki beside you. You’ve taken him to see the Golden Pavilion and its surrounding touristy streets. You stop by a bookstore and a shop for sweets. You buy a book, he buys mochi. Despite your coldness, Makki was intent on catching up with you. He wants to know what you’ve been up to, what movies you’ve been catching, what your grandmother’s inn is like. It’s difficult not to warm up to him.
“Can I kiss you goodbye?” he abruptly asks before heading to his platform. You’ve made your way back down to the center of the train station where all the schedule is displayed.
The first time Makki held your hand was in a train station in Tokyo. You were on your way back from a concert when he slipped his hand into yours in the busy platforms. You don’t pull away, instead you hold on tight. You remember pressing your head against his chest on the ride home, his chin resting on the top of your head. Neither of you said much. The companionship was more than enough. That moment seems so long ago.
“No.” you swiftly reply.
“Not even a forehead kiss?”
You firmly shook your head. You half expect him to insist and push, to say something about you being a prude and playing hard to get, but instead he just nods.
“Can I hold your hands? I want to hold you before I go.” Makki doesn’t murmur nor is he reticient. He speaks in his regular tone, extending his hands to meet your midway.
You hesitate at first then grudgingly agree. You reach out to hold him, your fingers lingering on each other’s barely interlaced.
“Let me know when you’re coming back to Tokyo. I can meet you at the train station and help you with your luggage.” he waves before turning his back. You watch him get lost in the crowd of the station.
After Makki leaves, you head back to the inn to help with the dinner service which is more crowded than usual. Your Obasan is grateful that you made it back.
Towards the end of dinner service, your phone rings incessantly. You curse and head outside of the kitchen to quickly answer the call. Of course, it’s from Hanamaki.
“You could’ve just texted.”
“I miss you already. I just wanted to hear your voice.” he says. His usual flirtatious tone is absent.
“Now that you’ve heard it, can you put it down? I need to go. Obasan needs my help.” you whisper hurriedly, “Now is a terrible time to call.”
“If you want to stop talking, you don’t need to drag your grandma into this.”
“I’m serious, she needs help washing the dishes. You can call later when we’re done with tonight’s service.” you chastise him, “We’re a little short staffed in the kitchen. You should know what it’s like.”
You rush back in to help wash the dishes as your Obasan brings more dirty trays of dishes. Momentarily you put Makki out of your mind. But when the inn becomes quiet again, you pull out your phone and stare at it.
Do you make the call again? After ten minutes of indecision, you give in and make the call.
Makki sounds slightly surprised on the other end of the line, “Done with dinner service?” He probably expected you to not follow through.
“Yeah, done for today.”
He clears his throat, “I slipped something into the book you bought. Did you see it yet?”
You put the phone down to reach for your bag. A thin white envelope is sandwiched between the first page and the cover. You open it up. He hears you unfolding the letter.
“Care to explain?” you ask with an eyebrow raised as you read through the lines. Hanamaki Takahiro sent you a resume…?
“It’s my application—“
“We don’t need another dishwasher here. Besides, you live too far away.” you cut him off.
“To date you.” he finishes. You’re too stunned to reply. You feel your heart skip a beat as you fumble at your phone.
“Don’t pass your judgement just yet.” he adds, “I know I have a lot to prove. I want it to be my job to love you and make you happy. Just know that.”
“...I’m not sure I want to give you a second chance.” you whisper, your voice inevitably cracking. You clutch the envelope a little too tightly, accidentally crumpling it.
Makki pauses before answering, “That’s up to you, but I-I’ll be here in case you do. Anyways, thanks for spending the day with me. I missed you a lot and I’d like to come back someday…if you can let me come over.”
You listen to him breathe in the other end of the line. You imagine him twiddling with a pen with one hand and his phone on the other.
“Goodnight, Makki.” you nod. You missed him too and you want him to come back. You don’t say yes or no, nor will you make promises. For now you let things hang in the balance.
------------------------------------------------
If you liked my style of ansgt, you can check out another hq ansgt about Daichi here. 
Taglist: @itstheee-ha-chan @kaizumi @holaaaf @glxar @francxsca
If you wanna be added, DM or comment!! Don’t be shyyyy
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sw4tch · 3 years ago
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I have many thoughts about my bday
Most of them have been caused by events surrounding my bday after all
First of all, the passage of time feels fake. I don't feel any different from what i did the day before.
But i think that's good. I haven't lost myself.
Two, i don't think i talked about it enough but one of my dearest friends sent me a microwave. An entire microwave, just because i was me and i had mentioned i was lacking one in this new place. I still can't believe it, i see it and i go "THIS IS A GIFT??? FOR ME??? IT WAS FOR ME AND NOW ITS MINE???"
It wasn't that it was a microwave, but rather that someone i adore, seems to adore me too, to the point of sending me such a huge gift.
And i couldn't be more happy about it.
Reminders that I'm loved by friends, reminders that somehow I've found amazing friends along the way.
Third, it feels so weird to be loved by people and having good friends you wish you were even closer with. My office pals threw me a small party and bought a huge cake for me. They gave me a gift. They all were happy for me.
It feels so weird for someone like me who spent the entirety of their life trapped in a box and convinced i was unlovable
Even though last year i had great and amazing friends, now having more friends and being celebrated by them still feels weird
I guess mostly bcus they're office friends and still a part of me believes they are my friends by obligation
But they're the sweetest of people. They really are.
I wonder when i will shake off that feeling of inadequacy.
Fourth, i spent my bday a bit... Sad?
Not miserable by any means, specially bcus i got to have breakfast with a friend
But i got bday messages and it was a bit overwhelming
I didn't want to touch my cellphone all day
I was scared to open the messages.
I don't know why, to be honest. I should have been happy.
But i guess it's been difficult lately to accept I've always been loved, that i got to forge friendships despite being trapped in a box, and that ultimately I am loved
I am loved
I am loved
I am loved
For being myself and nothing else
That's terrifying. It's terrifying.
So i spent most of the day holed up in my room and attending responsibilities i imposed myself.
Hiding away from the world, and yet enjoying being it in one year more.
The truth is, i am happy about my birthday.
Heck, i spent an amazing weekend to celebrate it with friends!
And yet, in the quietest moments i can't help but wonder how i made it out alive.
Kicking and scratching we made it out alive.
Bloody and bruised, we took one more step to stay alive.
It's hard to believe I'm still alive.
A friend that does witchy stuff gave me a tarot reading.
Truth is i am skeptical of any and all magics.
They're like the concept of God. Makes me think that if they're real, then the forces turned a blind eye to my suffering all along.
But still, in the moment of the reading, i believed, i believed in it so much because despite everything i am still naive with a naive heart.
He said something along the lines of:
"You have the power of creation.
And this next card tells me you need to come to terms with not having an abundance of material goods.
But this last card tells me that whatever you set your mind to, whatever thing you're struggling with- The outcome is clear.
You're going to win, you will be victorious"
And i want to believe it's true.
I'm gonna win. I'm gonna try. I'll never lose. I'll never die.
I'll never give up. I'll never give in.
Till i won't be abused.
He told me i could ask the cards a question.
I had to ask mentally, not outloud.
I wondered if i could bring my cats home to me.
The cards said Maybe.
What a hurtful answer.
And yet. And yet. And yet.
It's not a No.
Not like it would have stopped me.
But I'm still gonna try.
I have to try.
Here's to more years of Snaily of the future never giving up.
Have i told you how much i love you? That i love you so much? That whenever i think of your resilience, i feel so proud?
You were forged in the dark, and you could have become twisted and monstrous, as twisted and monstrous as those that hurt you
And yet, you still choose to be kind, and good, as much as you can.
And i love that about you.
And i will always love that about you.
When you feel lonely, remember how much i love you.
And how we will definitely fulfill our promise of happiness. For us, and only us.
So here's to a happy birthday, for the most beautiful enby in town ❤
Grandpa would have been proud.
Good night my love, good night my beloved
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nviatey · 3 years ago
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uhhh
always writing these at stupid havent slept hours in the morning. for future ref i am on the lounge floor of an airbnb on Manor Place in dunedin. The mattress is from “my room” that i never moved into because surprise my flatmate was my partner the whole time haha.
off top of my head updates to expand on
2021 “director” no.3 and moana jr hooooly shit man - otago polyfest, creative natives (nah wont expand on that one lol) jakes emancipation and our relationship upgrade wow, also maybe xmas committee and new bday tradition (whos bday is next?)
2022 me and jake getting this touring gig together. and also i got glasses and i dont have them on right now zzz getting money, divas getting money
current frustrations include: - Jake and I are on separate teams for this touring gig, and they depart tomorrow :( - this is last day for cleaning airbnb and shopping for gears (need rainproof jacket and shoes) before we go on the road - We were actually supposed to leave last week but Covid hit our big bubble and threw us all into isolation! which was a blessing and a curse: Blessing mostly because i was w jake and we just got to be lazy together and snuggle for an extra week! which was fun that we got to do that before we part ways. Curse because over our isolation we absolutely trashed the fucking place lol and have only today to clean it up. I havent slept and the sun is pretty much all the way up. wahoo
anyway i cant sleep... but i cant really see either (blind ass) sooooo oh hey  maybe i’ll use this old thing to be my journal. I bought a fucking notebook and pencil case thinking i should keep a diary but who am i kidding lol
aw man ive just remembered i told jake he can take the laptop :( okay maybe i will stick to that dumb notebook... or maybe i’ll just afterpay another laptop LOL
ps i just wrote this really long thing about my 5hr conversation with lijah regarding his realtionship and its influence on his mental health but deleted that because 1 sad and triggering 2 private and 3 ✨boundaries✨ which now im patting myself on the back for setting
“yea hell yea”
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nightswithkookmin · 4 years ago
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I loveeeee the way ur brain works and i like all ur posts and love reading them. Its Jimin day today and i wont lie that i am feeling a bit sad about whole JK not posting on JM bday because he was getting active on Social media again and i thought its because of JM bday coming soon but i hope they are happy and JM had a blast celebrating his bday.. it annoys me how other ship( u know which ship) is happy and making fun about this situation and calling Jikook bond fake and nonexsistant. 1/2
Ahhhhhh this topic!
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Also me:
Packing my bags off these shipping streets. Jk don disgrace us. Lol. Kidding. If more than anything today has solidified my faith in JK and Jikook and while y'all are jumping ship imma hold the fort. Hashtag Jikook for life!
I've been receiving a lot of questions about this, about JK not posting for JM's birthday and I haven't answered any of them because- well I passed out. So...
Anywho,
Jk didn't post true, but have you thought about what it would have meant for him and JM if he had posted?
Now I see a lot of people running through the ship streets shouting Jikook broke up, something was off between them, Jikook was never real, jikook this- Jikook that- y'all need to calm your horses or I swear to God!
I mean I am down for all that wild gossip and angst but I think y'all is tripping.
Do I think they are in a bad place, HELL NO. Do I think they are not real? HELL NO! Do I think JK don lost his minds? ABSOLUTELY.
Lol
No but seriously, I'm fascinated by all of this. I'm in pain, can't process shit but when it comes to Jikook I'm always intrigued and fascinated by them.
I'm mostly fascinated by why JK pulled a 5/8, geared up for JM's birthday but then posts crickets on Jimin's birthday as you've said.
Is it me or does this whole thing feel like the tattoo girl scandal all over again? Lmho.
Up until now, I've avoided addressing Asks about Jikook coming out, JK proposing and stuff like that because those territories are a bit tricky for me- to speculate on those, I find I'd have to speculate on whether marriage is something both of Jikook want, whether both of Jikook want to come out but these are conversations I don't think y'all are ready for with me.
Not when I believe one of them, if you've been following my train of thoughts you'd know which, is not ready to make such commitments, joking about marriage and shit- yes, that tiny man. Lol.
I mean the backlash I get for the tamer things I share on here- chilee, y'all is about to eat me up for this. Here goes nothing. Mama pray for me.
I have said, late 2018 to the middle of 2019 is one of the moments I sincerely felt JK was going to 'out' Jikook just based on the way he was moving through that era until that impromptu hiatus and the following scandal.
Out Jikook as in OUT Jikook- I've told y'all Jikook have been asserting themselves against eachother. JK has been asserting himself and part of that self assertion ties in with his sexuality. He is tired of hiding. He's been tired since 2016- trouble this one.
Do I think JM is ready to come out- No. He doesn't want to come out but he doesn't want to hide hide either. Dude just want to stay in that glass closet.
Throughout my posts, I've speculated this has been a huge part of their on and off dynamics since November last year. Jk coming off too strong, JM asking for space- yall know don't make me repeat myself.
November 2019 up until today is also one such periods I felt JK was going to out Jikook, inspite of all the ups and downs they've experienced this season.
JK scares me to be honest with you. I keep saying people are looking at him wrong. Hell, people are looking at Jikook dynamics wrong I feel.
All the times Jikook have almost been accidentally outed, who's been the most terrified? It's not JK.
Jimin's face when RM said JK sneaks into JM's bed at night, his face when they walked into JK's room on Bon V and saw the cameras. I have an entire dissertation on this on my wall please get with it. Lol
Whatever silent protest JK's been on since JM's birthday last year- Not gonna lie, I felt JK was not posting for the others so he could post on JM's birthday this year as a way of coming out with him? You know, make a bold statement like he's done over the years? I'm delusional but also dead serious.
Each time I feel JK's come close to this pivotal moment, something's happened. I swear Jikook is taking years off my life- I'm exhausted.
Why is he trying to out their relationship on his own and not do that with the consent of Jimin? I'm gonna pray to God, y'all can read my mind with everything I have been saying since my posts because this is cutting it too close for me- and I'm exhausted so maybe another post next time.
Like I've said, I really believe they are in a good place this time around. Y'all know me, I don't shy from angst, I'd say if I felt there's been something off with them since they fixed whatever they were going through early half of the year.
The only tension I've sensed between them lately was on day two of the online concert when JM got a little too excited with trying to sell the sexual tension fantasy in his other ships and JK didn't look like he was happy about.
Later during the curtain call you could see dude cold stoning JM resulting in JM doing what he does best in such instances- clinging on to JK for their life. Lol.
He vanished from Namjoon's side real quick to take the bow next to JK but JK- Y'all check that moment out for yourself, see what I'm talking about.
Is that why he didn't wish Jimin a happy birthday? I don't think so. I think he put a lot of thought and preparation towards this moment to make something like this undo all of that- that is if my suspicions about what he was trying to do this year is right.
Jimin gone wake up married one of these days he won't know what hit him! Lmho.
It is why, I don't buy this whole he didn't post for the others which is why he didn't post for Jimin narrative. When have you known Jk to care about things like these?
The man literally got a birthday present for Jimin gave it to him in the presence of some of the members without doing same for them. Singling JM out like this is nothing new to him. He has done so consistently over the years to let this deter him.
The question y'all should be asking is why he didn't post for the others in the first place. They are all friends and posting for eachother's birthdays is a long standing tradition in BTS so why is he breaking from this culture all of a sudden?
Is he rebelling? Is he protesting? What is he trying to do? Right?
This moment has been building up since last year after JM's birthday and I honestly believed he was going to go through with it- hell I bought a wedding dress and shit- Jikook you son of bish!
I have said the company is giving them much room to be themselves, RM isn't breathing down their necks, JM looked like he was finally committed- everything looked great between them in my opinion except perhaps for the growing tensions between JK, V and Namjoon- If you've been paying any attention to their recent Twitter war.
I hate speculating based on nothing, so I'm just going to point out to you my observations without drawing conclusions- I'll share my thoughts on what these moments means when I've had more content to peruse and analyze from now- but for now you can make of it what you will:
1. JK starts a count down on Twitter, JM responds and continues the countdown.
Now I clocked, the moment JK posted this on the 5th that he had something up his sleeves with regards to Jimin which I shared with y'all. He was going for a 5/8/13 it's not news now.
2. After Jimin posts day 4 for the countdown, who ever was going to post after him was going to have to post day 3 to continue the countdown right? But Tae posts a V-cut instead breaking that chain.
Now I remember joking about this moment with a friend, rolling my eyes exclaiming, here they go again! V is trying to sabotage JK yet again, and he'd turn around and ask why their friendship is dwindling. The pettiness and passive aggressiveness of it all!
That moment reminded me of when he called JK out for attempting to eyefuck JM through the viewfinder in the Dynamite MV reaction video. Remember that? Same energy to me.
They do shit like this and their shippers will not take note but will turn around and act surprised when we say Taekook ain't all that- rolling my eyes.
3. Hobi continues the countdown with day 3 and RM posts something random the next day but I think it was to neutralize the Taekook shenanigans. Neutralizing is what RM does best- we been knew.
4. Jk posts his Savage Love cover on the 8th and equally doesn't partake in the countdown he himself initiated because- Savage.
5. Suga posts day 2. RM and Jin posts day 1 and Tae posts D-Day on the D day to promote the concert. Yadda yadda yadda.
Now I didn't think much of this moment to be honest- i merely took a mental note of it for future reference, and was paying close attention to their interactions at the concert- which we will talk about soon..
I didn't make much of this bit until VJoonKook became a hold out on Jimin's birthday. They were the last three to post, two of whom ended up not posting at all for Jimin"s birthday- fucking traitors.
It was at this point I felt compelled to put on my tinfoil hat. And reevaluate the situation.
Why were these three people the same trio engaged in that little squabble just a few days ago on the timeline? I wondered.
It felt as if Taekook were engaged in a Russian Roulette racing the clock while Joonie stood by waiting to neutralize whatever shit those two were going to pull on the timeline.
Call me delusional but I felt JK was going to post, Tae was going to try to one up him with a ridiculous post or counter his post- V and his fucking VMin agenda! Lmho
RM was going to end up mirroring whatever JK was going to post to neutralize it as per usual- leave me alone. I said I'm delusional. Let me be. Lol.
There's just a lot going on all at once and it's easy to lose sight of subtle moments like these when they happen.
Like Jimin saying he would be on VLive soon, which first of all- yay!
Y'all know I've been keeping my eyes on the app, most especially how the members are going to use it post IPO, post Soop- I have a lot of questions; will they be monitored like they were in May? Will they be able to have intimate interactions with the fans like before?
Y'all know my theory about Jikook and the VLive stuff so I'll leave it there.
Now as for what this moment here means, I think it's a humbling experience for all of us but mostly for Jimin-JK you sonova bish! Lol
Jimin is the one who loves to flex his bond and relationship with JK, he loves to show off their relationship. He is the one who's been called all sorts of names under the sun just because of his relationship with JK- even if they are friends.
None of the members have suffered and paid a price for their relationship with JK the way Jimin has throughout the years. It is why I hate it when people compare the others to him. Even if it placates you and lessens your insecurities please don't.
I'm not pressed about no ship wars. Hell, I often start one myself- what? fun.
I'm worried for Jimin mostly.
I think JK more than anyone knows how this looks. Which is why I really don't think this is what he was aiming for all along. To make Jimin look this way- again not to say JM is better than the others he didn't post for.
I don't know what's going on with JK now but I am not about to tell you this moment is nothing. It is not nothing.
I know people want to console themselves with the whole my partner don't gotta show off on social media on my birthday to show he loves me- please shut up. Or may be don't. Y'all con shippers confound me.
This is Jikook here, showing is an integral part of their dynamics. Isn't that why people call them a fanservice ship? Because they show so much? Because they do so much?
Jikook like to show off their bond, they like claiming eachother, they like reassuring eachother and I'm sorry but Park Jimin's father set such high standards for his son's birthday for anyone who claim they love him to pull stunts like this. Do y'all know Jikook at all?! I have to ask.
Jimin loves to be treated like he is different and special. It's his love language. We know this, BTS knows this, JK knows this- don't make excuses for JK if at the very least you can't see what he was trying to do here.
Even if you don't think they are a couple they are best friends- at the bare minimum. It doesn't take more than a few seconds to login and wish a friend a happy birthday- Hobi made four and he is not dating Jimin. Just saying.
You can't yell Jikook show us a lot hence there's no need for wild theories and assumptions and bully people who come up with wild theories and then in the same breath say they don't have to openly show us they care about eachother for them to be real- Y'all are going to ship by faith now? Chileee.
I have said JK likes to retract and conceal and only shows what he chooses to show and this was his choice. It's as simple as that. He chose not to post.
He didn't do it because of no damn other members.
He occupies a huge space in JMs life to not know what this moment says about him and his highly publicized relationship with Jimin- chileee, whatever did park Jimin do to you, JK?! Jesus Christ!
Havent heard of a betrayal this grand since the birth of Judas Iscariot- Judas is that you? Lmho.
I joke but I don't find this funny at all. Bless them.
It's one thing to not post for the others, but it's different for Jimin. And this is not to say the others don't matter to JK, they do. He's called them all family but then again he hasn't placed any one of them on a pedestal the way he's placed Jimin on a pedestal now has he? So we cannot assume Jimin means the same to him as the others mean to him.
Isn't that why we ship them?
Personally, I'm hurt by all of this. It hurts me that some people are going to use this as an excuse to tease and bully Jimin, call him a liar, call into question the years of friendship between Jikook, call into question any future interactions between them- I don cried my eyes out all day for Jimin but also for JK.
It hurts that I have to defend JK and Jikook to anyone. The task wasn't easy before all of this- not that anybody sent me. Who died and made me their spokesperson. Chileee
But please let's not dismiss this moment or belittle it. It's monumental- to me anyway.
JK was on to something I'm just curious to know what stopped him this time around. I want to know if he plans on not posting at all for anyone in the future. How long is he going to keep at it?
He's tried to out them twice. Will he do it again? How is he going to do it? What is Jimin going to do if indeed this is what JK had been planning, how is this going to affect their dynamics- I'm excited for their journey however it goes.
It's their journey unauthored. I'm just here to observe and report- and may uWu while I'm at it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, we gotta ask ourselves, had JK posted anything at all today knowing full well he hasn't posted at all for anyone in the group all year, that what would that have meant for their relationship? What message would that have sent?
While we lament about this moment, let's also take a minute to ponder over what this moment might have signified if JK had actually posted.
Everything he did in the days leading up to Jimin's birthday pointed to the fact he was definitely going to post. To me it felt he was gonna come out. He was. And if he had done it- my god!
JK isn't my favorite person right about now. He can go ahead and step on leggos. No kithes for him🙄
But I have faith in him. Always. He's consistently shown and proven his love and loyalty for Jimin through out the years. You don't nibble on a man's ear in front of sixty thousand people, to find posting a simple message on his birthday tedious. This is Jikook. If it feels wrong, it is wrong.
I wish I could tell yall, this moment means nothing, that JK not posting is not a big deal but I can't. This moment is everything.
Signed,
GOLDY
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yyxgin · 3 years ago
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a lot has happened at work recently!! but who cares bleh. libra season!!! which means bday celebrations!! except i’m at work BOO 👎 and my two assistant managers have officially left (i’m helping them move on wednesday) and they were probably the only two who knew when my bday was apart from my supervisor but he’s gone to a different branch to train to be an assistant manager before coming back so i’m super bummed bc now i have to deal w al the new staff by myself 😭
also one of the ladies in kp read my palms?? and she told me i spend too much money impulsively which isn’t false… but i have to spend money impulsively or if spend none at all (which is good for saving ig) but i’d also be doing nothing other than working and that would make me sad lol. she also told me bc i’m a libra this month i’ll be unlucky with love but lucky with money so 🥺🙏🙏 i was having a relatively bad day that day so she was cheering me up n all of that.
did i tell you when my txt and skz albums came, they also came like a week or two later (again) bc they’d accidentally doubled up my order? it was like heaven with skz bc changbin baby is my ult n he was in some of the pulls for the second album 🥵🥵 the limited edition of no easy confuses me bc it’s not like the last one of theirs i bought and typically groups stick to a style when they design albums like mamamoo are all in these cute magnetic flip box thingies and nct’s are all little books type things as well as txt’s but skz switched it up and there’s a fair bit of loose stuff? but it’s okay bc i have two posters n all of the mini flip card things for the members and some bangchan (i’m gifted in pulling chan).
im also hopefully getting a car?? the barman hasn’t gone to prison yet bc the court keep moving his sentencing date(s?) so when i discussed this w my mum she said they’ll probably throw it out and relief filled me!! but ik i shouldn’t be so hopeful but at the same time it’s like why would you mess someone around so much? anyway i’ll move on, i wanted to drop him home in my car bc he deserves a lift everyday what a sweetheart❣️ my co-worker facetimed me today as it was my day off and i said hi to everyone it was so heartwarming to see everyone missing me but also not bc my manager overworks me and he knows that after this weekend 💉🩸
im jumping about with my points and things i want to say but i’m horrible at internet friends so this is okay for me as recently i’ve just not had energy for any friends which is awful of me but i’m still trying to find the balance between work and social. also everyone’s gone to uni and i’m just chilling. i like my life.
i want to redecorate my room. i don’t like the vibe other than when people compliment my kpop wall bc it’s a bunch of my art and then other peoples art and i thoroughly enjoy decorating w pictures and stickers and stuff but it’s literally just a door and it’s depresses me that my happiness is reduced to the back of a singular door now. i want to redo the vibe in my room and make it more me. i’ve never felt comfortable until recently and even now i’m going back to feeling uncomfy now that i know i want it a certain way and to give a certain vibe. idk, maybe it’s bc i watched sex education and seeing lily’s room in the most recent season (i won’t say much more in case you are watching/haven’t seen it yet) really made me realise i want to love myself and love the space i create for myself more. do you enjoy your space you’ve created for yourself? i always feel like peoples rooms say a lot about them as a person but how they see their room in their own eyes always says more.
i want to ask loads of questions and am awful at asking them so please just tell me everything i missed or should be updated on!! ily, always
~ 🌻
LIBRA SEASON !!! omg did i ask you when's your bday ?? i hope i didn't miss it. >:( happy birthday !!!! you deserve so much love. also, i'm sorry about your managers leaving. dealing with new staff is hella stressful and i hope you don't have to have too much responsibility and nerves <3
ooh palm readings are hella interesting. i've never had one but i think i'd like to try. spending money impulsively isn't a bad thing, if it's not an irresponsible spending. and if it is,, well who cares. yolo. i feel you on that tho, bc even tho i am really stingy w money, sometimes i just buy stuff i don't need and act on impulse.
OMG THAT IS A DREAM ?? getting free albums ?? (at least i hope they were free lmao). i like it when groups stick to one type of packaging although i must say i dont like the book thingies nct uses bc there is no magnetic part so it falls apart on my shelf and i hate that. i acutally like the sleeve packaging txt's albums have ?? everyone seems to bitch abt it on tiktok but i find it the most conveniet. also i'm glad changbin came home to you <3
YAAAY TO THE CAR !! AND ALSO TO YOUR COWORKER. i am praying he won't have to go, then, i am really hopeful. he is a sweet soul and doesn't deserve that. pleeease don't put up with your boss overworking you. take care of yourself :(
YOURE NOT HORRIBLE AT INTERNET FRIENDS we are besties. okay ??? and its totally okay to have no energy for friends as well, bc as you can see, i am struggling as well recently. it took me so long to reply to this ask and i feel so bad but it is what it is :// social battery has been low and i am busy with studying and work and trying to put my shit together. i am rooting for you !! <3
go for the decorating !! i actually haven't watched sex education and am not planning on watching so i dont really understand what you mean, but i hope you get to create a space for yourself when you feel free and comfortable. i share a room with my brother so its kind of difficult to decorate it how i want it, but i honestly like sharing a room tbh. he's not here half the time anyway so it's good to see him at least when we go to sleep lmao. but i have a bunch of stuff in my corner that are kpop and my side is full of plants, so i feel good surrounded by them hihi. i like it here.
i don't have many updates. i am actually living a very boring life, so i have nothing to share. preparing for graduation exams has been making me anxious and also depressed with everything that's been going on lately, but it's okay. i'll pull myself together <3 i love you a lot, take care !! i missed you
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chill-that-ur-inmyhead · 3 years ago
Text
Are you currently wearing anything red?
my red nail polish
Have you had a deep conversation with anyone today?
nope
What would you say is the most disgusting thing you’ve ever tasted?
not a fan of christmas pudding but would I say its the most disgusting thing ever? hmmm probs not maybe I need to try more foods and get back to you
What was the last food you got a random craving for?
toast, but that is a daily occurrence
Has anyone/anything made you angry recently?
yes.... I arranged to stay with my friend for a weekend to which she announces that she has also arranged for another one of her friends to stay. So instead of telling her friend that she’s busy, this friend is gonna crash and it made me angry because I wanted to spend the weekend with her, I don’t mind meeting her friends but now they’re gonna be there 24/7. I made my peace with it now
Who did you last go to the cinema with?
probs the same friend mentioned above haha
What was the last song that got stuck in your head?
Little Big Town - Better Man
When was the last time you listened to it?
the other day
Who was the last person to say something thought-provoking?
my friend questioned our group if we think we’re fat phobic so we had an open discussion about it and it got us thinking
On your Facebook friends list, who was the last person to have their b-day?
who knows
How old were they?
probs 22 or 23
What did you/are you having for dinner tonight?
I had steak, yum
Is your best friend in a relationship?
I have a few close friends, some are dating and some aren’t, tis a mixture
How old were you 5 years ago?
17
What is something you enjoy doing, but aren’t good at?
dancing, hehe
Who was the last person you talked to, whose name started with ‘C’?
probs Cara :)
What colour are that person’s eyes?
brown
Name some healthy foods that you enjoy eating.
CUCUMBER FOREVER
What is your favourite Studio Ghibli film?
hmm haven’t seen many Studio Ghibli films but Howl’s Moving Castle was a rollercoaster, note to self: watch more Studio Ghibli creations
Do you have a favourite hair accessory? What does it look like?
yes and no, I love using sunglasses or normal glasses to push my hair back so its both a hair accessory and isn’t
What’s your favourite type of insect?
one that leaves me alone
What’s your LEAST favourite type of insect?
slugs
Who was the last person you Facebook messaged?
Laura!
What’s his/her favourite food?
I do not know haha
Did you have a good day yesterday? What did you do?
hmmm it was a stressful day, my dad and brother were driving up to join us for my grandad’s 90th over the weekend but they broke down on the M1 and took the car back to home in a lorry. mum was stressed and I was sad that we wouldn’t have use of our car to travel back in 
When was the last time you went to a fancy dress party?
have I ever? maybe when I was like 10
Who/what did you dress as?
witch?
What genre was the last film you watched? Did you like it?
FANTASY - I re watched Narnia Prince Caspian and oh wow 
Have you made a sandwich today? What did you put on it?
nope I had a salad
Do you remember the last time you overheard part of a random conversation?
nope, I do like to eavesdrop but can never remember what I hear
Did it make you feel awkward?
nah, I doubt it
What were you doing at 10 o'clock this morning?
showering
How many vowels are there in your first name?
3
What was the last song you listened to? Does it mean anything to you?
Taylor Swift - right where you left me. It reminds me of my last relationship and it’s literally just ONE moment it reminds me of because the song is about the narrator being left at the restaurant and I can just vividly see the moment when my partner and I went for korean bbq. He didn’t leave me at the restaurant and I don’t know why the song would remind me of that moment besides it being at a restaurant. Crazy how taylor works her magic
What flavour was the last cupcake you ate?
tomorrow evening I’ll be able to tell you because we have cupcakes for my Grandad’s 90th :)
When was the last time you complimented a stranger?
in a pandemic? pfffttt hardly spoken to anyone let alone a stranger
What’s your favourite milkshake flavour?
nutella and oreo
Have you had an interesting or amusing dream recently?
nope they’re all stressful and weird
Do you know how old your favourite actor is?
27
Is there anything worrying you right now?
yes
If so, have you talked to anyone about it?
I want to but I just can’t bring myself to
Is there anything you desperately want, that you can’t have?
bread
When will you next see your best friend?
a couple weeks time but we keep in touch every day
Apart from sleeping, what do you plan to do tonight?
read
What’s the age difference between your parents?
5 years
You can only have one flavour of ice-cream for the rest of your life. Which do you choose?
chocolate always
Are there any foods you’ve been craving, or eating a lot of, just recently?
I always crave yoghurt so situation normal there
When was the last time you wanted to do something, but didn’t do it?
I wanted to drive my dad and brother back from the station
Why did you choose not to do it?
I knew it would cause a fight with my mum so I let it go
When was the last time you ate an apple?
within the last week for sure
What’s the nicest thing your best friend has ever said to you?
it’s not something they say once it’s more that they keep coming back to say more nice things :)
Have you ever experienced a hangover?
yep
What was the last food or drink that you tried for the first time?
blood orange gin
Did you like it?
yes
What do your friends think of the person you’re currently interested in?
I’m not interested in anyone rn
Name one of your favourite foods, that starts with the letter ’S’
sausage!!!!
The last time you hung out with your sibling(s), what did you do?
waited for my parents in the car whilst our parents went food shopping
Who was the last blue-eyed person you spoke to?
padre
Is there a person you’d like to speak to right now?
I hope to get a response from Rena soon but I can wait
Why that person, specifically?
She has organised a party and I need more details haha
When you woke up this morning, what was on your mind?
It is spider season :/
At this moment, what are you most looking forward to?
CAKE (for my grandad’s 90th bday) and ofc seeing the extended family
Do you have any scented candles in your home? What scent(s)?
I do, sea salt, bergamot & another one from & other stories
Are you planning any special outings with family or friends?
YES my grandad’s bday dinner is tomorrow
Who were the last 3 males you talked to?
my padra, mon frere and Yao
Do you ever wear lipstick? What colour(s) do you prefer?
either nudes or deep reds, difficult to not look like a clown in the latter, that is always the fear
If you have a pet, when did you last pet him/her?
I don’t :(
Do you have a favourite Celine Dion song?
nope
Name one of your favourite foods, that starts with the letter ‘C’
chicken!
Does the person you love/like have a car? What colour is it?
I’m sure Timothee Chalamet does not sure what colour
Have you ever received a compliment on anything you’re wearing?
yes
Have you had any caffeinated beverages today?
nope
What was the last alcoholic drink you tried for the first time?
blood orange gin 
Did you like it?
yes
Have you eaten any chocolate today? What kind?
so much
The last person you kissed - are they older or younger than you?
older
When was the last time someone wanted you to do something, and you refused?
mum wanted me to not have so much smoothie but I wanted the smoothie haha
What’s your favourite feature of the person you’re currently interested in?
nobody right now but I always notice a nice smile and kind eyes
How many people have you hugged today?
loads! twas my grandad’s 90th bday - we had the whole family come to celebrate
Do you have a favourite hair colour or eye colour on your preferred sex?
I don’t
Do you remember the first CD you ever bought?
it was probably taylor swift’s 1989 album. If it was the first CD I ever bought I dont know but I sure remember buying multiple copies of 1989 to get the polaroid collection
Is there anyone on your mind atm?
not in particular
The last song you listened to - does it remind you of anyone?
nope
Is your birth year an odd or even number?
odd
Have you eaten any of your favourite foods today?
CAKE!
What did you have for lunch yesterday?
fish finger salad!! I hope I’m never too old for fish fingers
Who was the last person you Facebook messaged?
Laura
How many different towns/cities have you lived in?
4
What are your parents’ middle names?
Steven & Anne
Are your eyes the same colour as your sibling’s?
nope
How many pets do you have? Would you like any more?
I don’t have any! we used to have bunnies and I would love some more again
Do you prefer still or sparkling drinks?
depends on the mood
Is there a song you can’t stop listening to atm?
Little Big Town’s Better Man is on repeat rn
Did you have a strange or interesting dream last night?
nope
Which friend do you confide in most?
I kinda tell the world my problems hehe
Who was the first male you talked to today? What colour are his eyes?
either my dad or brother, dad has blue eyes, brother has brown
Are you wearing any accessories in your hair? Describe them.
nope
When was the last time you felt ill? What was wrong?
I caught this WEIRD bug that would just make me feel awful all of a sudden and then drained my energy. It was unlike anything I’ve ever felt it made me miss the normal cold
If given the chance, would you change anything that’s happened today?
the food came later than expected so I would change how much breakfast I had
Who was your first best friend? Do you still speak to that person?
nope
Do you like your middle name, or does it embarrass you?
It fits my name
Are you wearing anything that was given to you as a gift?
nope
Have you received any compliments about your appearance today?
yes! my auntie said I looked like a doll and how much I’ve grown since we last saw each other!
Have you ever written a song or poem for someone special?
nope
Have you ever had an argument with the last person you text messaged?
probably
What colour is your shampoo bottle?
pink
Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged?
she is wonderful but I am not attracted to her in that way haha
Do you have any ice-cream in your freezer? What flavour is it?
chocolate & raspberry 
Have you spoken to any of your neighbours today?
nope
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howggswouldreact · 4 years ago
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🎂 Happy Birthday, Love | Jiu
Requests: 1. I have a suggestion for the bday jiu scenario. Dreamcatcher just finished promotions so they got free time and they use that to plan a surprise bday party for jiu. At the end, when jiu thinks the reader wont make it, she comes back to their dorms and finds it all decorated and stuff. reader welcomes her with cherry and does a baby voice(?) to act like cherry's the one saying happy birthday and etc. Just a suggestion 😄 Have a good day!
2. This literally took me a while to think about. But for Jiu’s birthday scenario I was thinking maybe it could be about her thinking the reader forgot about her birthday but then the reader travels to Seoul to surprise her. Do you think it sounds good?
Plot: It’s Minji’s birthday but Reader was in a business trip and didn’t even sent a text to her. She tries to have fun with the girls but... where is Reader? Minji doesn’t know, but a surprise is about to come.
Words: 1,495
Genre: fluff
Notes: aaah i had so much fun writing this one! i mashed up two ideads and i hope you enjoy reading this special birthday scenario ♡
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May 17th became a very special day for you after you met Minji. And even more special after your relationship started. You always wanted to make her feel unique and special, but on her birthday it was intensified, of course. It was her day. She should feel unique because that is what she is, a unique figure in the world, with a unique personality and being the sole owner of your heart.
However, this year you would have a business trip and would need to leave Korea the week before her birthday. A couple days before the 17th, you had an idea. And, to put it into practice, you would need the help of six other girls. And, most importantly, you would need everything to be kept as secret.
During the trip, you called Minji and said you wouldn't be back until the 17th, and that you wouldn't be able to celebrate her birthday with her. You were able to feel a slight sadness in her voice when she said it was okay, you could celebrate later. It would be a difficult task, but you hoped it would work.
Minji didn't know, but by May 16th you were back in Korea.
Minji was in the group's dorm, she had just come out of the shower and had already received many happy birthday wishes. So far there have been five, only Siyeon was missing, who was still sleeping, probably tired from promotions with the last comeback.
All the girls were super excited about her birthday, they made jokes about how she was getting old, that they could already find some white strands scattered through her hair. For a moment, Minji believed, but when she saw the gleam in the girls' eyes, she knew they were playing a prank on her.
Siyeon woke up and they all had breakfast together, saying their plans for that afternoon. Minji was anxious, she really wanted to celebrate her birthday with the people she loved the most. However, she would only be able to find her parents the next day, but they had already talked by phone the same day and wished her happiness and health. But she was still waiting for a call or message from a specific person who also wouldn’t be able to appear, so she looked at the notifications on her cell phone again.
Nothing.
"Hey, what’s up?", Bora asked, noticing the change on Minji’s expression.
"It's no big deal, just Y/N that hasn't sent a message yet.”, she replied slightly sadly, locking the phone screen again and putting it in her pocket.
The girls looked at each other not so discreetly but said nothing. Minji noticed the looks but preferred not to ask about and let it go.
"So?", she decided to change the subject, ignoring that slight sadness that took her heart. "What plans did you make for the anniversary of your illustrious leader?"
The day was lovely. The sun was beautiful, illuminating and warming everything with its light, and the sky was a blue so strong it made your eyes hurt. There were few white, plump clouds scattered in some corners, but Minji would need to look hard to find them somewhat hidden behind a skyscraper.
While walking with the girls, Minji had no idea what was going on, why you weren’t talking to her. She had texted you, it was just a good morning wish with an emoji (a red heart), a loving message that she always sent to you when she woke up. She could see that the message had been sent, but you did not respond.
What if she forgot my birthday?, thought Minji as she walked with the girls into a restaurant they all liked.
She did not want to show sadness, after all, they were all there trying to make that day a good day for her. Maybe you were really asleep, or too busy at the moment. So Minji hid her sadness, tried not to think too much about what you might be doing, and focused on the moment. Or at least tried.
There you were, cleaning (and cursing) that huge dorm. When you had the idea of ​​preparing a surprise party for Minji, you called Bora to talk about it. She was with Siyeon and Yoohyeon, and Minji was talking to Gahyeon in her room. They spoke quietly so as not to be heard and thought it would be better to speak by message.
Bora gave the idea of ​​having this surprise party in the dorm.
So there you were, moving some furniture away so that the center of the room had more space, cleaning everything and leaving Cherry in her room with water and food. You thought that if it was to celebrate then you should all celebrate together, and Cherry should also be there, after all, Minji was its mother.
As the end of the afternoon came, you prayed that the girls could have hidden the secret, that it was a surprise party you were preparing, so Minji shouldn’t know. You were putting all the decorations for the party, hanging them on the wall, golden balloons in the shape of letters that toghether they formed Minji's name.
Your cell phone beeped and you went to see the notification. It was one more message from Minji.
Minji: hey, are you still busy? i thought the working hours were over... as soon as you can, call me. i miss you. and i don't know if you know it but... today is the 17th.
Oh, baby, I know today is 17th..., you thought, feeling the need to hug her.
You knew that you shouldn't answer it, it was part of the surprise, but you could imagine very well the pout forming on her pretty lips. You had to be strong.
Half an hour later, you received another message, this time from Dami.
Dami: we are going back to the dorm.
You were waiting for the food you ordered through an app to arrive and you felt a nervousness building in your stomach. It had been a week since you last saw her and you wanted to hug her so badly, you wanted to kiss her lips so badly... And you wanted to wish her all the best that the world had to offer, even if it was a small gift compared to everything she deserved.
The food arrived, you had ordered Minji's favorite foods at her favorite restaurants, so you put everything on the table.
Dami: we're getting to the dorm.
You took Cherry and turned off the lights.
When they were at the door, you could hear the buzz of their voices, Siyeon said something about Minji opening the door because she was the only one with the key. Cherry barked and you felt your heart jumping into your mouth.
The door opened and the light was turned on.
"Surprise!", you said aloud, lifting Cherry.
The girls screamed as they entered the dormitory, pushing Minji inside and greeting you and Cherry with a hug and petting the head, respectively. Minji was the last to approach while the girls went to the food on the table.
"So... that's why you weren't responding to my messages?", she asked, her body very close to yours.
"Yes... it was for a good cause, wasn't it?", you asked hesitantly. "Happy birthday, mom.", you said in a baby voice, pretending to be Cherry speaking.
Minji smiled and picked Cherry up, looking at you.
"What should I do with you, huh, Y/N? Should I forgive you for ignoring me?", you realized that she was trying hard to hide the smile that formed on her lips, but you knew her well enough to know that this attempt was a failure.
"You must forgive me! I did all this just for you... and bought your favorite foods...", you pointed to the food on the table that the other 6 girls were attacking. "I hope they save something for you.", you both laughed.
Minji put Cherry on the floor and pulled you in for a slow kiss, forgetting that right behind you were 6 members of her group, all eyes on you.
"Ew!", Gahyeon said, making you laugh during the kiss.
You were together for the whole party, Cherry ran everywhere, full of energy. The girls put up a playlist full of good songs to play, you sat down to eat and chat.
As night came, Minji felt complete happiness taking her heart, the same happened to you. Sitting next to her, she took your hand and kissed your cheek.
"Happy birthday, love.", you said, stroking her hand.
When it came time to blow out the candles on the cake, Minji didn't know what to wish, she didn't need anything else. You being there with her was already the best gift she could have. So she wished for her days to always be like this, you both enjoying this complete happiness you made each other feel.
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