#the riders fucking DOTE on the kids

[princessbellecerise]

Husband Jacaerys

Summary ✩ Headcanons about married life with Jace

Warnings ✩ Mentions of pregnancy, smut

Masterlist

SFW

First of all, can we all just agree that Jace is absolutely obsessed with you?

You will never find another man in Westeros more loyal to you than your Lord husband, who practically kisses the ground you walk on

From the day you met to the day you said your vows, Jace is the most doting husband, always listening to you and showering you with affection

Especially with kisses, on your forehead specifically

One of his favorite night time routines is to pull you to his chest, placing a kiss to your forehead before you go to sleep

And speaking of sleep, Jace is SUCH a big cuddler

He loves being your big spoon, just holding you against his chest and keeping you warm. It makes him feel good knowing he’s there to protect you at any given moment

On the days that he has to attend meetings or engage in court, he misses you so much <3 He’s such a simp that literally everyone knows that he’s down bad for you

Daemon will often tease him every time he catches Jace blanking out in meetings, knowing he’s thinking of you

Luke will gag every time Jace kisses you in public, teasing his brother about being whipped for his wife

And every time Jace will go redder than Caraxes, but honestly he doesn’t mind. He’s never afraid to be seeing loving you

When you’re pregnant or when you have kids, he’s so protective over them and you

He loves kissing your belly, admiring how you’re swollen with his children

If needed, Jace will even rub your feet or your back if they’re hurting during your pregnancy. You always tell him that he doesn’t have to, but he insists on making you as comfortable as possible

If you need anything, your husband is quick to get it for you

Even if it’s the middle of the night and you’re craving something like goat cheese and olives then never fear, cause Jace will have it delivered before you can even finish the words

When your children are born, he’s in awe over how perfect they are and he’s literally the best Kepa ever

He’s adamant on teaching his children High Valaryion and how to become dragon riders. As soon as they’re old enough, he’ll take them on Vermax for their first flight and relish in the way they laugh as they cling to him

And of course, he loves riding with you as well

Even if you have your own dragon, Jace prefers going together, loving the way your face lights up as you soar though the clouds

Life as a prince/King can be extremely stressful, so Jace always looks forward to decompressing with you at the end of the day

Taking baths together and just sitting in the warm water talking to you is his favorite

He loves running his hands over your naked body, feeling every crevice as you sit on lap, back to his chest

With you, Jace never feels like he has to pretend and he’s always at his most relaxed

He’s also very vulnerable with you, and you are pretty much the only one that he’ll talk to about his worries and fears

Overall, he’s a very guarded person so the fact that he lets his walls down for you is a sign of just how much he loves you

No matter what, just know that you 100% lucked out and that with Jace, you will always have someone there to love and protect you

NSFW

Everyone in the Seven Kingdoms knew how much Prince Jacaerys loved his wife. The Prince was soft and loving towards you in public, and in the bedroom…

Well, just ask an unlucky handmaiden or the guard stationed outside of your room and they’ll tell you: Prince Jacaerys is almost never not making love to you

One of his favorite feelings in the world is to have you wrapped around his cock, underneath him as he fucks you slow and passionately

Deep, messy kisses full of tongue and desperatation are his absolute favorite while he’s rutting into you

Your husband 100% whimpers every time he cums, needing so desperately to fill you with his seed that it’s almost primal

Missionary or mating press are his favorite positions for this very reason, because he loves getting you pregnant

There’s just something about knowing that you’re carrying his heir, his seed and his legacy that lights a fire inside of him

He often times find himself getting lost in the desire to breed you, and afterwards he stays sheathed inside to the hilt so not a single drop can go to waste

But don’t get mistaken; Jace, like any other man, also loves taking you from behind

And more than that, he loves eating your cunt from behind, face messy with slick while he eagerly sucks on your clit

Jace firmly believes that if his wife hasn’t had her fill of pleasure then he doesn’t get to cum

For that very reason, you’re always overstimulated by the time he finally slips inside of you, the pretty little ring of cum that appears around his cock like a badge of honor for Jace <3

[linkvcr]

My loftwing hcs :]

The only ppl that can touch / preen your loftwing are people you're close to and their respective loftwing.

I always liked the idea of riders and their loftwings being able to communicate telepathically, but it's different with each person. Some similar, some not at all. Sometimes it's pictures. Colours. Words. Link has a special connection with his so I'm leaning towards him being able to fully communicate with his loftwing mentally. They also can sense/have vaguely shared emotions/feelibgs. If a person doesn't like another person the loftwing will most likely also not like that person.

Each skyloftian has their own unique whistle to call their loftwing. If someone else uses that whistle it's most likely to get the attention of the person over that persons loftwing because skyloft is kind of small and the whistle is very loud. Also, your loftwing can tell if it's you or someone that isn't you using your whistle.

Parents' loftwings will always dote on their partners kids and play with them [ verrrry gently ] Also, loftwings will preen their riders and vice versa. But they have to be careful bc their beak is sharp as fuck.

When you first meet your own loftwing or if you have to greet a loftwing that isn't yours, you do it by bowing and shaking your head like they do. [Shoebills do this :-] ] it is seen as respectful.

If a person is scared to jump off the ledges on skyloft for the first time to ride their loftwing, a teacher will go with them first.

The name skyloftians call their loftwings out loud is usually a nickname. Their actual name is kept between the person and their loftwing.

Loftwings make a similar clacking sound to the sound Shoebills make.

The gender of the loftwing does not always match the gender of their person. [this is canon but i like it a lot so it's here]

Harming someone's loftwing is seen as near unforgivable and you have to make it up to the loftwing and the person in a big way if you want their forgiveness.

Loftwings that belong to knights have shorter/more blunt talons so they can catch people without injuring them.

They canonically get haircuts to match their owner, so I like thinking that their fur is trimmed somewhat regularly and that skyloftians reuse that fur in stuff like fashion or accessories or yarn etc.

There is a loftwing type of class for kids who haven't got their loftwings yet where they learn proper loftwing care, how the loftwing ceremony will go, basic flight lessons so that they can know this stuff before they meet. Knights will also have an advanced loftwing class later on.

There's not much food wise on skyloft but there are these things called Ringers in the sky [flying squirrel type creatures] that I think they eat. I also like to think theres more islands beyond what you see in the game and it has more food for loftwings there, they probably just hunt it themselves but they could be fed by people if they wanted to be.

[teddyeyeseddie]

To Hell I Go

If She Wants A Cowboy

✰ bull rider Steve x reader

masterlist

✰ cw: broken bones, an er visit, steve in a sling, an eddie debut, first kisses, straddling steve in a creek, smut, minors dni, oral (m rec), boot riding

✰ a/n: this series has been flopping but I am so in love with dandy and our boy that im gonna keep writing it bc they deserve to have their story told, thank you @lofaewrites for betaing :,)

now playing: If She Wants a Cowboy

Steve is rushed right back when he gets to the ER, grumbling an “I’m fine” when he sees the amount of sick kids in the waiting room. Despite his efforts to wait in the lobby, it only takes 30 minutes and he is sitting in a room awaiting his results.

Steve tears up at the news, knowing what this meant for his career. It came to an abrupt stop, throwing Steve forward into a mess of emotions. They did x rays to find that his shoulder was, in fact, broken. His coach eventually leaves, only able to offer so much reassurance and solace. 

He sits cooped up in the ER for what felt like hours, left alone to his devices, those emotions from earlier bubbling and breaching the surface now that he was alone. His dad was right, just like he always is. The job chewed him up and spit him out. Usually, a broken shoulder meant the gig was up, not many riders can recover from a serious injury like that. 

He wills away his spiraling, putting his head back in order to rest. When he’s about to fall asleep, a soft knock resonates through the room. 

“Hey cowboy,” the voice is like music in Steve’s ears, the sound flowing into the air and causing goosebumps to rise on his skin. 

“Dandy, they let you in here at this hour?” he questions, a small smirk on his face as he adjusts himself in bed, wincing when he disturbs his shoulder. 

“Jus’ had to tell them I was your wife,” she replies sheepishly, wincing slightly.

“I did give ya a ring, didn’t I darlin’?” he cracks a wide smile.

You settle yourself into a chair next to the bed, digging in your purse to find the small paper ring Steve had made you days prior. You slip it on your finger once you find it, flashing it at Steve causing him to let out a full-bellied laugh. 

“You kept it?” 

You offer a small nod, reaching your hand out to hold Steve’s free hand. The other slung up as the two of you waited to hear what the next steps are in Steve’s recovery. 

“What’s the verdict here?” you question softly, rubbing your thumb over Steve's calloused hand. 

“Shoulder’s broken. S’ a clean break but fuck if I know what that means,” he groans, throwing his head back as tears form in his eyes. 

“Shit Dandy- I’m sorry, don’t mean to turn into a mess while you’re here. It’s just this could be the end of the line for me,” he pulls his hand away from yours in order to wipe his eyes. 

He settles his hand back in yours, squeezing it as he stares forward at the wall in front of him. 

He didn’t ask you to come and the fact you did makes Steve’s heart flutter inside his chest. You came on your own, and that is more than Steve could ever wish for. 

“I’ll be right here with you, Steve,” you break the silence and lean up to kiss his cheek, the first time you had displayed any sort of affection aside from holding hands. 

He leans into your touch, relaxing and letting himself be loved on. 

The doctors come in moments later, setting his arm and immobilizing it with a fancy looking sling. 

Six weeks.

Six weeks of being rendered useless, Steve groans into the night air once he’s been released at the odd hour of 5 in the morning. Hand in yours as you guide him to your car, helping him get settled into the passenger seat. 

“I guess in the grand scheme of things, I’m lucky,” he says once you get situated. His head is leaned back, exposing the column of his neck as he turns to look at you. 

“How so?”

“A whole summer of being doted on by you? 

“Who said I was gonna dote on you?”

“Mmm I just gotta hunch, Dandelion,” 

Steve isn’t wrong, you are there every day you're off work, going on walks with him or helping his mother cook dinner. 

It’s been about 2 weeks of helping take care of Steve when you pull into his driveway at the early hour of 8am. You softly knock on the door, smiling when you hear a quiet, “come in” from the other side of the door. 

You and his mother, Donna you had come to learn, had become well acquainted, spending the evenings cooking dinner together giving you time to converse regularly. You got all the stories of Steve when he was younger, your favorite being the time he peed off the side of the pool when he was potty training. 

“Is he awake?” you question, setting the groceries Donna had requested you bring the night prior.

“He’s not, had a rough night last night. He said not to let him sleep in if you’re here though,” she says with a sly smirk on her face, like she knows something you don’t know. 

You ignore her look, not wanting to read much into it, trudging upstairs to wake Steve up. 

You smile when you see him, he’s propped up by some pillows, something his mom helps him do every night so he is more comfortable. 

You sit on the edge of his bed, extending your arm to caress his cheek. He stirs a little bit, waking with a small jolt when you begin to run your thumb across the expanse of his jaw. 

“Good morning, Dandelion,” he smiles, his voice thick with sleep, the groggy melody making your cheeks flush. 

“Good morning, Steve,” 

He sits up at the waist, using his free arm to push him up on the bed. He’s right beside you, free hand coming to rest on your thigh. His lips press a soft kiss to your temple.

“Didn’t think you’d be here this early, sorry I wasn’t up,” he mumbles, resting his chin on your shoulder. 

“S’ okay honey, liked getting to wake you up,”

You get up, turning back towards the bed to help him stand. His pajamas are slung low on his hips, soft hair traveling up his belly and to his navel. He looks peaceful like this, freshly woken up, sleep in his eyes and bed head- it makes your heart warm. 

He stretches once he’s standing, averting your eyes as his already impossibly low pants stoop even lower. 

“You gonna shower?” you question, picking at the comforter on Steve’s bed. 

He shakes his head, turning towards his closet and pulling out a pair of wranglers and a t-shirt. 

He turns away before dropping his pajama pants, your cheeks flushing at the sight of Steve in just his boxers. 

He grabs the clothes he laid out on the bed, shimmying his pants up his legs, frowning as he gets to the button. 

“C’mere,” You mumble, buttoning his wranglers, knuckles bumping into his soft belly. 

He smiles down at you, brushing a hair out of our face. 

“Gonna help me with the top now, dandy?” 

You nod, grabbing his top and sliding it up his hurt side, carefully threading his arm through  while it is still bent. He chuckles as he pokes his head through the top, easily pulling his other arm through. 

You wait on his bed after you get his sling back on his arm, Steve having perfected his one-handed bathroom routine. 

He peaks out of the bathroom once he is ready, padding across the room to grab his hat. 

“Ya ready?” 

You nod, following him downstairs. 

When you reach the living room, you’re surprised to see Charlotte and Eddie sitting on the couch. 

“Mudslinger! How ya been?” Eddie gets up, pulling Steve into a hug, Lottie shooting him daggers as he does so. 

“Careful with the man, Eds. He’s fragile,” Charlotte scolds, pulling Eddie away when he starts to get too rough. 

Eddie listens to the woman, settling in beside her with a protective hand on her thigh. 

“Wanted to come visit ya, see if there was anything you needed before I head down to the barn to get some lessons started,” 

The two of the men fall into easy conversation but you and Charlotte find yourselves stowed away in the kitchen, chatting about anything and everything. 

“So- You and Steve, huh? He’s never brought a girl around,” she says as she stirs her tea. 

“Yeah- He uh saved me from Billy Hargrove,” you take a sip from your mug, glancing into the living room to check on Steve. 

“Oof- Eddie used to work on Billy’s ranch breaking horses. Never got paid enough for the work he did, here though? He’s taken care of, Donna makes sure he is anyways,” 

You had learned that a lot of the ranch bonuses and raises used to come from Donna pestering Richard until he caved, that was until Steve came around and gave everyone their well deserved performance based raises.

“Steve’s running it right finally, taught his Daddy more things than he’s taught Steve probably, I can’t wait to see what happens when he finally takes over, maybe he will settle down now that he’s broke himself,” Charlotte rattles off, your stomach lurching at her words, remembering why you’re here.

Steve hurt himself. If he hadn’t been rendered useless in terms of bull riding he’d be off riding in other competitions and eventually nationals. He was kept at home by a broken shoulder, not by you. 

You shake the thoughts away, Steve would have wanted you wherever he was, you had to convince yourself. 

You and Charlotte continue conversing, finally steering the conversation away from you and Steve. 

“Dandy-” You hear Steve shout from the living room, you set down our mug and straighten out your skirt before making your way to him. 

“Whatcha need cowboy,” you question, smiling when you round the corner to see him standing, cowboy hat situated on his head. 

“Come to the creek with me?” he questions, smiling softly as he holds out his hand. 

You turn back towards Charlotte, who is now left alone now that Eddie has gone to the barn to start lessons for the day. She nods her head, shooing the two of you away and out into the summer sun. 

Steve laces your fingers with his, boots crunching on gravel as he makes his way to the stables.

“Wish we could take sonny today,” Steve says, frowning slightly when you pass them. You distract him with a kiss to the cheek, bumping into his hat causing him to let out a chuckle. 

“Tryna kiss me stupid here, honey?” he asks as he continues walking, dipping into some trees at the edge of the property.

“Just tryna kiss ya, cowboy,” he smiles back at you as he leads you through the trees, finally stopping and letting you settle in next to him once you reach the creek. 

You release his hand, kicking off your shoes in order to step in the creek, turning to Steve who is still on the bank.

“Comin’ in?” you grin, looking up at him. He scratches at the scruff that is forming on his chin, contemplating kicking off his boots and joining you.

“I dunno, Dandy,” 

“C’mon, don’t make me enjoy this all alone,”

With that, he toes off his boots as you step forward in the water in order to roll up his jeans for him. You hold your hand out, Steve taking it and stepping into the water with you. The two of you wade in the shallow creek, your back to Steve when you feel a splash of water hit the bend of your knees. 

You whip around, scowling at Steve who has a wide grin on his face. You bend over, skimming your hand in the water in order to splash him back. Steve walks backwards, tripping over his feet, sending him tumbling, falling on his ass. 

You rush to him, dropping to your knees in the shallow water next to him.

“Are you okay?” you question, looking him over as if you’ll see any physical damage. 

He simply smiles at you, on your knees-so close to his lap. He wishes he could pull you onto him and kiss you breathless.

That’s when he realizes there’s nothing stopping him.

He hooks his arm around your waist, pulling you towards him. He mumbles a soft, “C’mere,” as he motions with his head for you to get on.

You swing your leg over his lap, heartbeat high in your throat as you look down at him. It’s a little awkward, his sling taking up much of the room between the two of you, but it doesn’t matter.

Steve’s eyes travel to your lips, a smile forming on them as your hand raises to pet the hairs adorning the nape of Steve’s neck.

“I think you’re the one that’s trying to kiss me stupid,” you breathe.

“Just tryna kiss ya,” 

With that, he leans in, capturing your lips in a firm kiss. It’s slow–calculated, each movement well thought out as he guides you. You eventually crack a smile while kissing him, teeth knocking together as Steve begins to smile too. You finally pull away when it’s time to catch your breath. 

“Why’d you wait so long, cowboy?” you ask, hand still petting at his hair. 

“Kinda thought you deserved more, Dandy,” he breaths out, thumb rubbing at your hip as his eyes flash back towards your lips. 

“Well- why don’t you let me worry about that, mudslinger” you lean back down, kissing him sweetly before pulling away and getting off his lap. He looks up at you in a daze, lips pink and full as he cracks a smile. 

You help him up and out of the creek, using your now half soaked cardigan to dry your legs off before slipping back into your shoes. Steve gets along fine with getting his boots back on, but you can't help but giggle when you turn to see his jeans still rolled up. You bend down to fix them, Steve mumbling a soft thank you. 

You walk hand in hand back to the house, offering Eddie a small wave when you pass by the stables.

You’re both still sopping wet when you make it to the front porch, Steve groaning when he’s intercepted by Donna at the door. 

“I know you are not about to come in here with those sopping wet jeans on,” She scolds the two of you. 

Steve playfully rolls his eyes, nudging past her and making his way inside. 

“I’ll clean it Mama,” she playfully smacks his good shoulder before retreating back to the kitchen to continue cooking lunch for the Saturday workers. 

Steve opens the door to his room, closing the door after you. 

“Skirt’s pretty soaked, do you want some shorts and a new shirt?” he questions, turning towards his closet to grab himself a change of clothes. You squeak out a small “yes” as you kick off your shoes. He hands you a pair of sweatpants and a shirt, turning back towards the closet. 

In a surge of courage and confidence, your hands find the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head while Steve’s back is to you. 

When Steve turns around, he feels like he’s been punched in the gut. His lungs are void of air as his eyes rake over your frame, drinking you in. He swears he sees stars when your fingers dip into the waistband of your skirt, dropping it to the floor with a wet thud. 

You stalk towards him, fingers hooking in his belt loops as you guide him to the chair sitting in the corner of his room. 

“Dandelion- sweetheart what are you doing?” Steve asks as you drop to your knees in front of him, eyeing him sweetly. 

“Just let me take care of you, Cowboy,” you push him back by his hip, satisfied once you force him to sit in the chair. 

Fingers come to unbutton his damp wranglers, cock already straining against the rough fabric. You pop the button, slowly unzipping his pants, tapping his thighs so he will lift his hips. 

He’s looking at you with glassy eyes, pupils blown wide as he watches your hand sneak into his boxers and pull out his hard member. 

“Fuck, darlin you don’t have to do this,” his hand reaches down to caress the your flushed cheek. 

“Want to,” your hand strokes him, the drag causing Steve to throw his head back, loud groans leaving his lips as he indulges in the feeling of you taking care of him. 

You suck the head of his cock, tongue swirling around the tip. Steve’s hand comes to thread through your hair, grabbing a fistful and pulling just hard enough to get you off of him. 

“You wanna feel good too?” Steve questions, free hand coming to stroke himself. You nod your head, pleading eyes meeting Steve’s. 

“Ride me then,”

“S-steve your shoulder,” He laughs, the hand that was stroking his cock now caressing your face. His boot begins tapping on the floor beneath you. 

Tap-Tap-Tap

You look up at him through hooded eyes, biting your lip as you lower yourself onto his boot. You let out a soft mewl when the rough leather catches on your clothed clit. You begin to rock back and forth, riding his boot as you take him back into your mouth. 

You take him to the back of your throat, nose bumping into the soft pudge of his tummy, being tickled by the pubic hair that adorns the area. 

He groans, the deep growl echoing off the walls causing you to pull back and shush him. Steve chuckles as he guides his cock back towards your lips, you greedily sucking him in. 

Your hands come to rest on his hairy thighs, your own shaking from the impending orgasm, the coil in your tummy tightening as you use his boot to get off. 

“Jesus, Honey. I’m gonna come if you keep takin’ me so deep like that,” he moans as you release his member with a soft pop, a giddy smile on your face as you look up at him. 

“Kinda the point, Honey,” you begin to stroke him, hand slippery with your spit and his precum.  

“Gonna come,” he grits out, your mouth enveloping him as his hips stutter and his cock twitches in your mouth, hot cum running down your throat. 

You pull off him once he winces at the overstimulation. Your hips are still moving, your sopping cunt still dragging across the ridges of Steve’s boots. 

“You close honey?” Steve asks, a little hint of pity lacing his tone. You whine when he begins to mock you.

Three more thrusts of your hips and you’re coming undone, panties now soaked with your release and seeping onto his cowboy boot. You slump forward when you’ve finished riding out your high, face resting on his thigh mere inches from his now softening cock. His hand pets your hair, letting you rest there for a while before breaking the silence.

“These pants are still wet darlin, need to change,” he taps your cheek, causing you to rise from the spot in his lap and pull yourself off of his boot. You wince when you disconnect from him, blushing when you see the wet spot you left on the leather. Steve however, props his foot up on the ottoman that you were just wedged between and admires the slick spot on his boot-proud of what you’d done to him.

“Might keep it there,” You whine at his words, embarrassed you’d just come undone so easily for him.

“Hey- don’t pout,” he says as he gets up, a soft grunt leaving his lips as he does so. Tall frame towering over yours, his hand coming to brush your unkempt hair out of your face. 

He presses a soft kiss to your forehead, pushing down his pants and stepping out of them. He digs around for a pair of boxers before turning and offering you a pair. 

“Figured you’d soaked your-uh,”

“Panties?”

“You just had me ride your boot, now you’re shy about my wet panties?” you question, a small smirk forming on your lips as you take the pair of boxers from him. 

Now he turns bright red, cheeks flushing at the mere talk of your underwear. 

“I’m a gentleman, Dandy,” you roll your eyes, mumbling a soft, “not in the sheets” as you walk by him. 

“Come on mudslinger, let's get dressed. I’ll make us some lunch once we get downstairs,” 

[words-writ-in-starlight]

ok but ever since ur post about harry and corlath's children where u said smth like "corlath is too thrilled with his life to deny his children, esp when it's so unimportant" all i can think about is one of them when they are Small braiding his hair with flowers and getting sad when he tries to take it down and then he ends up going to some Very Important Kingly Meeting with a flower crown and keeping a straight face while harry's dying of laughter. (i hope your day is going well!)

Let’s be clear, Corlath is nailing the fuck out of fatherhood.  He’s acing that shit.  (He remarks very dryly, with tiny baby Aerin Amelia reaching up to clutch in fascination at his hair, that corralling armies is good training for corralling children.)  Now, Tor takes very much after his father once he’s older, trending toward seriousness with a deadpan sense of humor, but as a baby he’s talkative.  Not, like, coherent, but he’ll sit there and just kind of babble at you for as long as you seem to be paying attention.  He is also very attached to his parents and something of a hit at court--of course he is, the child of their hero-king and their damalur-sol, of Corlath, direct down the centuries from the Dragon Slayer, and Harimad, Hurler of Mountains.

(”Oh, gods, they’re really going to call me that,” Harry murmurs in horror to Corlath at a feast not long after their wedding, and Corlath laughs at her, and the fire in the hearth snaps and crackles and a grinning pale face flashes for a moment before vanishing.)

So when Tor just can’t bear to be left with his nurse, a very patient woman who puts up with A Lot from the royal family, Corlath and Harry look at each other and shrug and just take him with them.  He sits on one of their laps, as they hold court from their twin stone thrones, and sometimes when he starts burbling away his parents--more often Corlath, much to the surprise of everyone--will pause and listen attentively, and tell the petitioner in a grave tone “Well, you see, the young lord believes that you should bring your neighbor next week and he’ll see what can be done to resolve your dispute.”  It makes open court about a hundred and fifty times more entertaining for everyone.  Tor’s first birthday present from Innath is a tiny version of his father’s crown, carved out of wood, and Tor immediately attempts to put it in his mouth.

Aerin is much quieter as an infant, and only too glad to toddle behind her older brother, so she attends court less than Tor did.  However, she does enjoy flowers very much, so the court is disappointed to not have a small child in attendance, but they’re enjoying the periodical appearance of their sovereigns with crowns of whatever Aerin could get her hands on.  She decides very young that Corlath looks best in daisies, and she likes to find the reddest pimchies to weave into Harry’s golden hair.

When Jack is a baby, things are pretty quiet.  Aerin carries on with draping her parents in local flora (Jack and Aerin are very close in age), and Jack mostly smiles and blinks and coos quietly.  He’s a very compliant sort of infant.

Then Jack’s kelar comes in when he’s seven and the court gets a lot more lively.  Corlath and Harry can’t in good conscience leave Jack with his nurse--can’t really leave him with anyone but themselves or Luthe or his siblings, for fear that his strength might get the best of him.  So he starts coming to court, and banquets, and whatever else Tor and/or Aerin is attending with their parents, and he’s still a kid, so sometimes his magic sort of...leaks.

They got the chandelier back on the ceiling eventually, with Harry’s help, and honestly he and Tor didn’t mean to animate the fine china and, well, Corlath got it under control anyway, didn’t he?

Hari, of course, attends court pretty much from day one, because by then Tor is old enough to be there in a slightly more formal capacity as the not-yet-formalized-but-still-recognized Crown Prince who could do with seeing how a country works.  Between the draw of her beloved eldest brother and her parents, Hari can’t be pried away.

Then she turns three and she’s walking reliably and she can talk and it’s very hard to keep her under control, so she starts causing trouble at court.  And banquets.  And every other place she’s allowed to roam free.

“Honestly, Jackie,” Harry sighs, surveying the damage to the banquet hall that needs to actually host a banquet in three hours.  The walls are scorched and the chandelier is down again, among other, more solveable problems.  “What happened?”

“I just turned my back for a minute,” Jack says helplessly.  “Tor’s off with Papa and Aerin’s fixing her gown and she told me to keep an eye on Hari and--”  He gestures to his little sister, who has soot smudged across every visible inch of skin and a seraphic smile on her face.  “I only looked away for a couple minutes, I swear.”

“I believe you, Jackie,” Harry says, and drops a kiss on his hair.  It’s difficult to manage this while also trying to look forbidding in her youngest’s direction.  “Hari,” she calls.

“Yes, Mama?” Hari says brightly.

“How did this happen?”

“I found a recipe in an old book, Mama.  Only I don’t think I did it right, because instead of just making smoke it exploded.”

“You don’t say?”

Needless to say, the banquet is held outside in the setting sun, and Corlath and Harry try not to look too visibly amused and/or dismayed when Hari pops out from under her sister’s skirts to steal a fistful of grapes.

[bitchinthematrix]

RDR2 HEADCANONS

•Lenny’s secret talent is impressions, if he hears a particular voice enough he can do a pretty convincing copy of it. He rarely gets to use it in any practical ways, so he resorts to poking fun at his fellow camp-mates. He’s got Micah’s dumbfuck hick accent down to a science. “who d’you think you’re mimickin’, son?!��� “who do you think you’re mimickin’, son?!”

He fools no one with his Micah impression though, Lenny hasn’t quite mastered the act of lowering his vocabulary to the level of a rodent.

•When Jack was born, almost everyone in the gang pulled their weight, not just in keeping the money flowing, but in supporting Abigail following John’s year-long absence. Miss Grimshaw and Hosea made sure Abigail’s head was right, considering a cocktail of pastpartum and “husband gone to get the milk” royally fucked with her mentally. While the rest helped with caring for baby Jack.

Mary-Beth and Tilly made the best damn aunts, always doting over him and now small his little shoes were. While Seán, Javier and Arthur couldn’t have been better uncles. Even those you wouldn’t consider “kid-friendly” individuals like Karen and Bill made sure to be useful.

The first time Abigail had laughed in months was when a 7-month-old Jack tugged a huge chunk out of Bill’s beard.

•Seán is a gaeilgeoir (fluent Irish speaker)- who has recently found himself in a land where he can speak his mother-tongue freely. Needless to say he goes a little buck wild. The greatest honour this man can bestow is a hushed “mo chara dílis” emphasized with a strong pat on the back.

It’s also not rare to hear “mo stór” or “mo chroí” murmured under an alcohol-riddled breath when he’s cuddled up with his darling by the campfire.

•Despite his (albeit subtle) ‘up and attem’ attitude, Charles Smith is not really a morning person. It takes about 10 minutes for Pearson’s homebrew coffee to kick in. 10 minutes of yawning, stretching, and a resting bitch face that’d but the fear of god into even the hardiest O’Driscoll. Anyone who has something to say to him within those 10 minutes approaches at their own peril.

Unless it’s Arthur, Arthur can talk to him no problem. He has best friend privilege.

•Kieran’s blood absolutely boils at the thought of Micah Bell. As the person who tends to the gangs horses, don’t you dare think he hasn’t noticed the complete disregard Micah, a man who isn’t above killing defenseless animals, has for his poor horse. Kieran makes sure to pamper Baylock a little extra every now and then, but secretly wishes he had a way to get revenge on his accursed rider.

•Hosea always has to laugh to himself when Dutch and Lenny get into silly little arguments over literature, it really puts into perspective how much Lenny reminds him of himself. And the insanely high hopes he has for the boy.

•before Sadie had fully adjusted to life at camp, and could proudly call herself one of them, she spent a lot of time observing the gang as individuals. Especially those she didn’t particularly trust/like. Watching them like a hawk from the sidelines.

It didn’t take her long to have the majority of them figured out. She was especially delighted to make the discovery that Bill is a complete and utter arachnophobe. And during one particular night, where the dumbass drank himself stupid again and mouthed off to Arthur- the man she trusted the most out of all of them, Sadie put her knowledge to good use. She managed to sneak the biggest spider she could find onto his person without him noticing. Before sitting back with a whiskey in hand to watch the show unfold.

Sadie Adler slept very peacefully that night, Bill Williamson’s screams of terror still replaying in her mind like a sadists lullaby.

[modern-inheritance]

I need ideas for activities or travel Al can do with Eragon and Saphira. My memory from before late high school is fucked and I repress a lot of my <12 years for reasons so I don’t remember much of what my family and I did as bonding.

Al is pretty clingy to Arya and Firnen since Arya was the first person that just flat accepted him and he identified with her off the bat, but Eragon is very much a doting guardian and loves the kid. Part of me thinks he would be really interested in reading to/with Al because he never got that chance with Garrow or Brom. He really wants to be there for Al and would take days off teaching and tutoring at the Rider School and blow off his responsibilities to just spend time with Al. But I can’t think of anything besides the reading they would do together.

If y’all got any ideas or suggestions hit me up.

[asknarashikari]

George pulls an “accidental baby aqusition” on Hirodaiji

...What the fuck did you do George?!

Initially they're both understandably hesitant about being parents, once they independently verify as theirs, they're determined to do right by the kid starting with clocking George for probably doing shady things to ensure their existence.

It takes a bit of time, but they get into the swing of things caring for their little one, and their baby quickly becomes the center of their lives, their pride and joy. Needless to say, they try their damnest to be the best daddies ever, and they work together to raise their kid. Instead of one of them being the primary caretaker while the other one works, they both take care of the kid and take turns heading in to run Blue Bird.

They also get a lot of help from the Igarashi fam when they get overwhelmed, or when they're both needed at Blue Bird or for Rider business, or just need time for themselves. Mama-san and Papa-san just adore their little grandchild, and Sakura and Ikki dote on the baby almost to the point of spoiling them rotten. Even the demons help out XD

So... yeah, Papa HiroDaiji

[sharyrazade]

Did anyone else have trouble following (HOTD 1x06)?

What exactly was going on after that timeskip? I mean, it’s a little disorienting, being dropped right in the middle of things, especially with the abrupt change of actors and all the parts were still moving. But I got used to it, I guess. The factions being pretty much baked into the cake by this point helped to some degree though. Anyway, the review:

- I was pretty sure it was Rhaenerya giving birth in the opening scene, but I wasn’t 100% about it until a little bit later. But it is very interesting watching her grow into her role and how well she’s learned to play the game, like when she tries to negotiate a marriage alliance with Alicent’s branch of the family, unlike her descendant, who embodied the when-all-you-have-is-a-hammer mindset

- Again, it took me a little bit to catch on with so many new players, but while the description applies to the vast majority of human beings ever to live, the fact that you had three separate Targaryen boys being born dark-haired and dark-eyed...should have tipped me off pretty quickly that there was some Jaime x Cersei shit going on there

- And speaking of new(ish) families and (semi) consensual cuckoldry: Laenor, my brother in the Seven, your marriage is a political alliance and Rhaenerya is literally your beard. And she’s doing damn near all the work while you decide to name your new son after your dead boyfriend. Of course she’s gonna be a little cross with you!

- After saving Ser Downbad from committing sudoku (Criston’s sword was at his abdomen, that’s what he was doing) a decade ago, my girl Alicent has her hands full, to say the very least. Kids being awful to each other is kind of in the job description and Aegon growing up...to be a spoiled rich kid, even by spoiled rich kid standards, isn’t exactly surprising. And pulling her very best Catelyn Stark routine to save as much of her family as possible, telling Aegon to treat this like his life is at stake (which it is), start taking his duties seriously and stop wanking out the window

- And after all he’s been through, it’s actually nice to get to watch Viserys getting to spend his twilight years as the doting, benevolent familial patriarch he’s always wanted to be. That said, it also makes his see-no-evil-hear-no-evil-speak-no-evil stance on Rhaenerya’s sons make more sense, but definitely increases his wife’s headaches substantially. But knowing this author and source material, alas, this can’t last

- And speaking of...unconventional patriarchs, probably the most interesting change is (especially with that intro to him we got) is seeing Daemon being...well, a dad. And from what we’ve seen a pretty attentive one too. Again, it’s not terribly surprising giving some statements and actions he made before, but it’s interesting because he’s not Chaotic Good/Neutral/Evil, Daemon is pure chaos. He’s like a human tornado, but instead of cars and construction material, you’re never exactly sure whether he’s going to be throwing fire and blood, shit or sage, fatherly wisdom, or even all three at once

- But like I said, this (relatively) peaceful state of affairs can’t last, as bastardry among Westrosi nobles (not unlike real life) is serious fucking business. And if it involves a disputed line of succession? I don’t care what system you have or when it is, times like that become an absolute feeding frenzy

- Since I knew they were pretty intelligent in this universe (just in a different way than humans) and they are bonded to one rider, I had my doubts as to whether it was possible, but suicide-by-dragon, is in fact, possible here

- And as we have seen, things like the (attempted) child murder of Bran or kinslaying here, are on the table to keep these dirty secrets from getting out. I’m sitting there like “bro, you orchestrated the horrible deaths of your brother and father by fire. That’s some (ahem) cold-blooded shit right there. I thought you were cool!”

[tsuki-sennin]

rare tsuki-sennin double recap

Saber Special Episode

-Not even being from another franchise can stop the reach of the ever-expanding Tojitendo, apparently. I'm sure Bokkowaus and Gege have a massive target on them.

-I love the Tanabata reenactment. I appreciate the crossdressing angle, it's fun and it's a great callback to the Tom Sawyer and Momotaro scenes.

-Zox overstepping those interdimensional boundaries again. He really is a Marvelous fanboy.

-It seems Twokaizer brought his absurdist humor with him. Not much to add, it's just really funny.

-Toei, Bandai, you absolute cowards, give Kento a new form already! It's Yua all over again. I swear to god, Revice's third Rider is gonna have like... one form and barely fight all that much, maximum. I'll gladly wait until the Espada V-Cinema! Hell, it can just be Espada x Necrom, just give him something!

-The design of Orihime Warudo is pretty good. Zenkaiger's monster designs in general have been generally scoring pretty highly, but nothing's topped the perfection that is Jishaku Warudo yet. I think this imagining of Orihime being so bitter that they'd make random couples fight and break up is also really freaking funny.

-Oh Reika, how the mighty have fallen. Kanon is in need of some company, I guess. I hope the fanfic writers like you enough to give you what you deserve. And I hope that Onii-sama develops a personality quick, we have like... one episode left.

-So, I assume that Storious is either busy having a dentist appointment or auditioning for the movie? I'm guessing it takes place a bit earlier in the plot, probably around Ep. 40, and I know these specials have loose continuity anyway, but it's so weird going from losing Desast to YOHOHOI to THE WORLD IS GONNA DIE, FUCK YOU SWORDSMEN!

--

Zenkaiger Special Episode

-Y'know, I kinda understand why Orihime Warudo was acting so bitter, Hikoboshi Warudo's a real dick. Chasing women when his beloved neighbor's out of season on behalf of the Tojitendo. He's not even doing his job right, the pig. Apparently he also chose not to take away the Noroshi and Konchuu Daihyakka Book? Yeah, no wonder Ijirude's so mad at him.

-Y'know, if Kaito and Magine really wanted to celebrate Tanabata twice in the same summer, they could wait a few weeks and make a three hour drive to Sendai on August 8th, which I hear is when they celebrate it. August 14th seems to be a little too long a wait.

-Oh Secchan, you're annoying and adorable~! I can't stay mad at your exposition for too long~! I understand why Bokkowaus dotes on Gege so much~!

-I guess Stacey's currently hanging out with Storious and the rest of the Northern Base Riders in the Not-Immediately-Marketable-Zone. Poor kid, at least give him a candy bar.

-Super Twokaizer looks way too freakin' cool. Good on Flint, she's a fun and interesting gal of fine aesthetical taste and exceptional engineering talent.

-The Kamen Rider Gears are interesting. Definitely not canon, but they're a fun little addition.

-Meanwhile Reika and Ryoga continue the Shindai family tradition of looking cool and displaying identifiable personality only when it's irrelevant to Saber. Goddammit Fukuda, I wanted to like you so much... Ah well, at least their fights were cool. ...well, Ryoga's anyway, Reika kinda got unfairly shafted this episode. Again. In a different series, no less. Good GOD, guys, why do you hate your extra Riders so much? ...her hugging Magine was nice though, that was cute. Ryoga also rocked that dress, ngl.

Looking forward to when I finally get to watch Super Hero Senki. Asmodeus looks sick, btw.

If I see any jokes about the premise of Episode 22, I'm going to shit a house.

[sunriseverse]

rec listtttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

fair warning there’s a lot of different fandoms here��i have, uh. twenty-two pages of bookmarks. lots of newmann though, i promise. in no particular order, i give you a fic rec list

the future’s owned by you and me by kaiyen (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 7k, Not Rated)

Years after they stopped writing each other, Newt and Hermann run into each other on the steps of Cambridge University Library. Quite literally.

 Newt stares at him, expecting more. He doesn’t get any. “Come on, man, who are you? Maybe I’ve read something.”

 I doubt it, Hermann barely catches himself from saying. “Gottlieb. Hermann Gottlieb.”

 And Newt looks like he’s struck oil. “Oh my god,” he says, and something flickers behind his eyes, like there’s more than just recognition there, and before he can wonder any more about what it is, Newt blurts, “Oh my god!” and Hermann flinches and makes a face like a disgruntled frog.

What you can expect: emotions, opprotunities missed, and opprotunities taken. I absolutely adore this fic, though I might be biased by the fact that it has Newt as bipolar, and that’s something I always crave (more bipolar Newt fic when???).

Survival is for Nerds by Annabeelee (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 46k, Teen and Up)

It's three hundred and two years after humanity lost to the Kaiju and two hundred and twenty one since the Kaiju left. Not that it matters to Hermann. In relation to following a neurotic genetic experiment across whats left of the Northern American continent while dodging alien predators and hostile subgroups of humans, its possibly the least helpful thing to keep in mind.

What you can expect: scifi, tension, and a very intersting world. Post-apocalyptic, technically, but the way it’s written makes it almost hopeful. I love how the setting and writing makes it feel like a blend between victorian steampunk and futuristic in tone.

people can surprise you (or not) by pdameron (James Bond, James Bond/Q, 10k, Teen and Up)

“I’m not you, Bond. I don’t exactly have a technique for getting rich strangers to like me.”

“Just do your naive cute puppy thing, and they’ll be doting on you in no time,” Bond replies as he pulls up to the grand estate.

“My what?” Q asks incredulously. Bond doesn’t answer, simply giving him an indulgent smile. The fucker.

(or: 00q meets Gosford Park. Except not really.)

What you can expect: humour, murder, and some light espionage. Also, fake dating.

Infinite Distance by lachatblanche (X-Men, Erik Lensherr/Charles Xavier, 7k, Teen and Up)

When they encounter an unfamiliar and seemingly-abandoned ship in the middle of nowhere in space, Captain Charles Xavier of the spaceship Graymalkin heads out to investigate.

What you can expect: drama! Intruige! It’s set in space! I read this a while ago but I have memories of it being rather riveting despite the relatively short length.

Gertrude’s Goulash by lollzie (Gotham, Edward Nygma/Oswald Cobblepot, 7k, General Audiences)

Ed needs a new roommate. Oswald needs a room. Oswald may just be the most amazing person Ed has ever met. Shame he's not single. Cue wooing via the medium of cooking.

What you can expect: pining, misunderstandings, obliviousness, and a lot of goulash as a method of romancing.

Death Of The Author by happygolovely (Gotham, Edward Nygma/Oswald Cobblepot, 9k, Mature)

Edward Nygma was never intended to be anything more than a secondary character.

The Riddler demands otherwise.

What you can expect: a story within a story within a story. You think you have it figured out, and the next moment the carpet is yanked out from beneath you. Fairly dark, possibly disturbing, but my goodness if it’s not engaging.

we make our friends, we make our enemies by ORiley42 (Mission: Impossible, Benji Dunn/Ethan Hunt, 52k, Teen and Up)

Benji finds out he has a new neighbor. This new neighbor happens to be off-the-charts hot. Hijinks, friendship, more-than-friendship, and secret agent drama ensue.

What you can expect: pining. There’s spy stuff going on too, and it eventually gets brought up, but my gods, the pining. Also, it’s fucking hilarious, and, at just over fifty thousand words, the perfect read when you’ve got an hour or two and you want something that’ll make you both laugh and cry.

Self-Sabotage by EmilyweepsforPilfrey (James Bond, James Bond/Q, 2k, Teen and Up)

For some reason, whenever he's alone with Bond, the most ridiculous things come out of Q's mouth.

Or 'the one where Q accidentally invents a girlfriend'.

What you can expect: Q being an utter idiot. It’s hilarious. Nice quick bite of humour if you fancy it.

The Long Con by harleygirl2648 (Hannibal, Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter, 19k, Teen and Up)

There are two kinds of cons: long and short. Short cons mean short-term gain, with smaller rewards, mostly just everything you have in your pocket at that moment. Long cons mean lots of time, effort, costumes, masks, props, sets, and other characters all looking to set up the downfall of the mark and take them for all that they've got.

Con Artist/Thieves AU: Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter are both interested in acquiring a Botticelli, but both of them are quite fond of each other's short games. For both of them, it's the deception and thrill of the game that's worth more than the payout.

And well, after all, aren't the easiest people to scam are those who think they are smart enough to not get scammed?

What you can expect: no cannibalism, a lot of banter, and, of course, con artistry. Quite delightful if I do say so myself.

deus ex machina by coloredink (Hannibal, Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter, 26k, Teen and Up)

"What the hell?" said Katz.  "Is that--"

"Yeah, I know, it's kinda flashy."  Will shut the car door behind him and patted his pockets for the little fob to lock the car.

"Isn't that Hannibal Lecter's car?"

The car beeped to indicate it was locked.  "Yeah, I guess so."  Will walked away, toward the field, Katz on his heels.  "I needed a new car."

"So you bought the cannibal car?"

-----

You asked for it: the one where Hannibal is a murderous self-driving car.

What you can expect: what it says on the tin. Quite funny, especially with the element of magical realism meaning Hanni-car is sentient. The Hannigram is more vaguely implied than an actual thing, owing, probably, to the fact that Hannibal is, well, a car.

adapt, evolve, become. by peupeugunn (Alex Rider, Gen, 3k, Not Rated)

“This is how you get out. You're slowly moving towards a desk job.” A pause, then, “you know, most people do it the other way around.” Alex chuckles softly and and shuffles towards him to lean against his shoulder, burrowing into the crook of his neck. Ben’s arm winds around him, shields him from the world, a solid weight on his back. “You're going to miss the adrenaline rushes, kid.” There's something almost sad in his voice. Alex doesn't want to understand why. Down that road lies madness. 

What you can expect: a character study, in a bit of a roundabout way.

A Sharp Dressed Man by Avelera (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 12k, Teen and Up)

Hermann's latest book needs an author photo. However, when he's given a makeover and a suit that actually fits for the photo shoot, his appearance is so transformed that Newt mistakes him for his (much hotter) older brother, Dietrich.

Hermann decides to play along.

What you can expect: gods this fic is so good. It’s the first Newmann fic I ever read, and I’ve reread it a good six times since 2018. I would say more, but I think the fic speaks for itself.

Gestures by Actually_Crowley (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 7k, Teen and Up)

Newton finds out what Hermann does with his rare free time, but the discovery leads him to believe that Hermann honestly and unequivocally hates him. 

What you can expect: the rituals are fucking intricate. I love this fic so so so much. And the eventual reveal/confession...scream.

Fate’s Horrifying Ways (also known as: CHRISTMAS GODZILLA) by linearoundmythoughts (Pacific Rim, Newton Geislzer/Hermann Gottlieb, 4k, Teen and Up)

Your name is Newton Geiszler and you’re going to have to break things off with your sort-of online boyfriend because you’re cheating on him. Sort of. [AKA the most dramatic summary of a humorous crackfic ever ok]

Originally written for the Pacrim Secret Santa back in 2014.

What you can expect: first off, it’s not second person, I promise. It is, though, really fucking funny, owing to the misunderstandings that ensue. There’s much pining, some angsting, and, of course, humour.

Letters From Berlin by spenshi (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 12k, Teen and Up)

Newton keeps in touch with his family when he's shipped off to the Shatterdome. Jacob and Illia send care packages to the K-Science Lab. 

What you can expect: Geiszler-family feels. A lot of them. Also, Newt and Hermann slowly growing closer to until they can finally admit they’re into each other.

Wishbone by cypress_tree (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 8k, Teen and Up)

Hermann doesn't have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving, so Newt invites him over for food, family, and a little bit of flirting.  Just a warm, fuzzy college AU to get you through the holidays. 

What you can expect: fluff, softness, general feel-good fic. It’s really good, and it has Geiszler-family feels. Reading this fic is a bit like drinking hot cocoa on a cold day.

next days by catbeans (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 5k, Teen and Up)

Hermann had never felt an ache quite like this one, and he had felt plenty. He had been running on adrenaline first, and then on the necessity to keep running, pain and bone-deep exhaustion falling to such a low priority that he couldn't even consider it one anymore, and then it had stopped.

(the 18 hour nap date these guys deserve)

What you can expect: Newt and Hermann cuddling. A lot. That’s really it, that’s the fic. It’s 100% indulgent and I love it for that.

Tebori by SkysongMA (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 7k, Not Rated)

Newt squints. "It's really not a sex thing? 'Cause I'm not opposed to it being a sex thing, mind you. I just don't want to come in the lab tomorrow and not get to throw things at your stupid face."

Hermann lets out an endless, long-suffering sigh. "It's really not a sex thing, Newton, honestly. We hate each other. That's worked out very well for us so far, and it will continue to work out for us in the future." He doesn't mention that they haven't always hated each other and that, at one point in their long relationship, showing up unannounced at Newton's door for the purpose of sexual favors would not have been so far out of the realm of possibility. Had been, in fact, one of those things Hermann had considered late at night long ago, when he couldn't go a week without a fat envelope in the mail full of Newt's ramblings.

But that was quite some time ago, and he means it. They each get more work done than they would ever have separately, even if only because they like to rub their progress in the other's face.

Anyway, admitting anything different would just give Newt ammunition

What you can expect: Newt gives Hermann a tattoo. There’s a lot of feels.

Newt Inherits a Bar by orphan (Pacific Rim and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 11k, Not Rated)

The scary part is the bar looks exactly like Newt remembers.

What you can expect: you’ll probably tear up a bit. This one hits pretty hard, honestly, but it’s so, so, so good.

First a Darling, Then a Marvel by isozyme (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 20k, Mature)

Newt runs a simulation given three constraints:

1: Newt wants to clone a kaiju 2: Hermann does not want Newt to clone a kaiju 3: Newt is going to clone a kaiju anyway

What you can expect: a lot of sciencing, a lot of feels, and two repressed idiots. There’s like, a paragraph or two of smut but it’s pretty clear when it’s going to happen so it’s easy to skip, which is great. The tl;dr of this fic is Newt clones some kaiju, Hermann reminds him how fucking horrible of an idea that is, and everything more or less works out in the end.

Tea and Sympathy by osprey_archer (Torchwood, Owen Harper/Ianto Jones, 13k, Teen and Up)

Soon after Jack's disappearance, Owen takes sick. Ianto goes to check on him.

What you can expect: crabby doctors, put-upon Welshmen, and a fuckton of emotions that everyone is trying to ignore. Not particularly happy, but then, when is Torchwood ever? It’s good while it lasts, though.

Pareidolia by hal_incandenza (Pacific Rim and The Black Tapes Podcast, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 102k, Mature)

It starts as a profile of paranormal investigator and professional skeptic Dr. Hermann Gottlieb. But it seems the further journalist Newt Geiszler delves into his cases, the more mysterious Dr. Gottlieb becomes. What is he hiding? What is he looking for? What is the truth? What is the difference between a journalist's idea of truth, and a scientist's?

Seeing is not believing. Believing is believing.

What you can expect: suspense, mystery, horror, pining, and apocalypse cults, with a dash of an ambiguous ending. I love this fic so much. I literally would stop what I was doing to read it when I got an alert that there was an update when it was still a work in progress.

Meet Me There Across The Water, And We’ll Start An Endless Storm by Skepticamoeba (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 35k, Teen and Up)

Hermann, an honorably discharged veteran has retired to continue working as a Keeper at a Lighthouse. It is perfectly solitary, and with little in the way for incidents. Newton is the sailor that washes up on the seashore after a summer storm.

[Late 19th century Lighthouse Keeper AU--or the one where Hermann was an aspiring artist whose dreams got a bit derailed, and Newt is the sailor that needs to learn to take his time with things.]

What you can expect: the pining........the intricate rituals............the denial.........*chef’s kiss*

and I couldn’t whisper when you needed it shouted by Lvslie (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 24k, Teen and Up)

He still smells like Newt; bears traces of his recent nearness. Clothes sleep-wrinkled from the proximity, from the way Newt’s ankle has during the night hooked around the calf of Hermann’s good leg and dragged his whole body seamlessly closer. Cheek half-flushed from the face unconsciously nuzzled his into the side of Hermann’s neck—evidence of his presence, fast asleep, as Hermann lay still and fretful for hours an end, staring at the ceiling and feeling sick with wanting.

[An early 20th century AU inspired loosely by Maurice and Age of Innocence.]

What you can expect: wistfulness, pining, repression, denial, lots of feelings. You’ll probably tear up. There’s an achingly happy ending for both of them. This is one of the fics I want a hard copy of so I can mark it up because, fuck, I love it so much.

leave the car running by Macremae (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 1k, Teen and Up)

It is clear that, after everything, Newt doesn't like to be touched. 

What you can expect: touch starvation, mutual pining, Newt finally getting the human contact he deserves. I wrote my own version of this since it was initially a prompt, but quite frankly, I like Newton’s version better because it hits.

The Man Who Invented Sherlock Holmes by Calais_Reno (Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, 15k, Teen and Up)

John Watson, struggling young doctor, doomed to live an ordinary life, dreams of writing detective fiction. If he can just figure out his hero's name, the story will practically write itself.

What you can expect: Watson sort of, kind of, maybe invents a man into being. Oops. I haven’t read this one in a while but I remember it being quite a lot of fun. There’s elements of what I would say is probably magical realism, but it’s never quite clear.

Newton Isn’t Dead by Macremae (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb and Vanessa Gottlieb/Karla Gottlieb, 32k, Mature)

Newton Geiszler is currently being possessed by a genocidal alien race known as the Precursors. They’ve taken over his body, leaving him a prisoner in his own mind. However, Newt has a totally awesome plan. He’s going to make a deal with them: let him prove that Earth is worth saving, and if he can’t do that, they can have his body. But convincing a hivemind full of mega-colonizers that one blue planet can be wonderful isn’t going to be easy. He’s going to need the help of his kind-of-ex Hermann, his best friend Vanessa, and one awesome Footloose remake to pull this off.

So, naturally, they go on a road trip.

What you can expect: pining, world-saving, eventual confessions and happy endings. I had the great honour of reading the chapters before they were published, and this fic is one of my top five favourite fics. There were multiple points where I yelled, both literally (quietly) and through text (slightly less quietly).

it takes time, but time moves slow by prettydizzeed (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 2k, Teen and Up)

Hermann conducts a cost-benefit analysis every class period of sitting in the back of the lecture hall versus walking down the stairs to the front. He wishes he had hard data for this, to get some actual statistics, and perhaps after a while, if he records his pain level and his ability to read the board and pay attention after each class, he will be able to predict the outcomes given either choice on a particular day.

Two curves, traveling in opposite directions, inversely proportional: pain goes up, concentration goes down. It’s comforting, somewhat, to make it a numbers game. Impersonal. Absolute. Not a tragedy, and not his doing, only his to interpret, a smudged scrawl across his left knee in an unfamiliar handwriting, his to analyze, to decrypt.

What you can expect: the fic may only be 2k, but it will leave you feeling like you were punched. It’s fantastic.

I Could Be Jew-ish For You by Macremae (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 10k, Teen and Up)

When Hermann agrees to spend Chanukah with his family in an attempt to wheedle some desperately-needed funding out of his father, Newt insists that he shouldn’t face Lars alone and tags along as his “emotional support family rage distraction”. What they fail to realize are two things: 1. When Hermann brings Newt with him to the festivities, assumptions will be made, and 2. Newt may be half-Jewish, but he sure wasn’t raised as one. 

What to expect: fake dating fake dating fake dating— (can you tell I have a favourite trope?) In which Newt is Jew-ish, Hermann is both exasperated and pining, Lars is disliked, and we all get the Jewish romcom we deserve.

It Was Love At Second Sight by rednights (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 35k, Teen and Up)

Hermann receives the first letter when he is eighteen years old.

or: Kaiju don't attack the Earth, but Hermann and Newt still write letters, botch their first meeting, and fall in love, not necessarily in that order.

What you can expect: feels. So many fucking feels. There’s no kaiju but that doesn’t mean you won’t be on the edge of your seat.

hello my old heart by firebirdsuite (The Magnus Archives, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, 15k, Teen and Up)

Peter’s wrong, of course. When it’s all over, Martin does still want to tell Jon everything. It’s just—well, there’s a few things they need to work through first before they can get there.

Martin and Jon find each other again in Scotland.

What you can expect: tenderness, domesticity, and love. The perfect trifecta.

the truth about me (and the truth about me) by danimagus (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 11k, Teen and Up)

Newton suffers from a bout of memory loss and is told Hermann is his fiancé.

Hermann plays along, to his endless shame.

What you can expect: two words: fake dating. Gods, I love this fic, as Mary can attest from how I unceremoniously started screaming at her about it in her tumblr messages the day of/after it was published. This fic is great because it subverts the trope a bit, and thus avoids issues of consent that may otherwise have occured.

speak right to my heart without saying a word by thekaidonovskys (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 13k, General Audiences)

“Your eyes. Your expression. Your smile. I’ve worked with you for ten years, Hermann, and words have never been our primary method of communication.” 

What you can expect: to be knocked the fuck out emotionally. This one hits pretty hard, and that’s what makes it so good.

Transducer by hal_incandenza (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 85k, Teen and Up)

“I need you to hide something for me.”

“Oh, excellent. Of course, Newton, please allow me to jeopardize my career. And yours as well. My pleasure. Do go on.”

“Yeesh, relax,” said Newton. “It’s a personal thing, not a work thing.”

“As if there is any division between the two,” Hermann snapped.

If only you knew, Newt thought.

What you can expect: intruigue, alien tech, light espionage. This fic will have your little nerd heart beating double-time. It’s very very good.

A Really Private Person by astolat (Person of Interest, Harold Finch/John Reese, 18k, Mature)

The end of the world started on a Wednesday in March. 

What you can expect: badassery on Finch’s part. One of the few fics I have bookmarked for this fandom, and it’s bookmarked for good reason.

Party For Two by ProblemWithTrouble (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 18k, General Audiences)

 “My mother’s parents have a home in the Black Forest that has a guest house. They’ve often allowed me to stay there when I could spare the time.” Hermann looked distant as if he were remembering something; the warmth of a fire and a nice book and the smell of freshly made tea. “It will be quiet, and possibly too boring for you-”

 “It won’t be. I could use some quiet after the decade we’ve had. I could actually compile my research. And sleep. It sounds amazing.”

After the world doesn't end Newt and Hermann take a vacation together to live in a cabin and finally relax, as friends. Cue the pining, the longing, and the living together as best friends.

What you can expect: a fic that will wrap you up like a warm blanket. Mutual pining, vacationing together in a cabin, lots of feels—what more can you want?

Dream Drifting by MooseLane (Pacific Rim and Inception, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 5k, General Audiences)

"You're running an extraction on that spastic PPDC biologist, is what I hear." Chau fixes him with a side-eye. "I know I wouldn't want to go poking around in that little bastard's head."

(There are not enough Inception x Pacific Rim crossover fics, so I decided to change that.)

What you can expect: Inception meets Pacific Rim. There’s no other way to say it, really.

I’ve Got Nothing To Do Today But Smile (The Only Living Boy In New York) by gyzym (Inception, Arthur/Eames, 19k, Teen and Up)

Arthur's a corporate lawyer, Eames owns the coffee shop across the street, and all good love stories start with a quadruple shot latte. 

What to expect: Arthur is stressed, Eames runs a coffee shop, and, through the power of friendship and a lot of stress-baking, everything works out happily for our intrepid protagonist.

Kalimat/كلمات  by rainbowagnes (The Old Guard, Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicolò di Genova, 3k, Teen and Up)

Yusuf translates medical texts for Niccolò from Greek and Persian into Arabic, and Niccolò spots the substratum of the ideas of the classical authors that he had once believed the basis of his own civilisation that he would go to the sword to defend, translated and passed down and sewn into a no longer foreign script. There are words Yusuf does not know how to translate. They will never, ever know all of the words. The prospect is thrilling. --- It takes Niccolò lifetimes to learn Arabic. 

What you can expect: if you, like me, are, especially natively, multilingual, this might hit the sweet spot of Language Feels. It did for me. Also, Joe calling Nicky hayati? Yeah.

i never liked that ending either by Macremae (Pacific Rim, Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb, 15k, Mature)

You want a better story. Who wouldn’t?    - Litany in Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out

Once upon a time Dr. Flick Tucker, K-Sci head of Biology, fought a bunch of highly scientific dragons to save the world. Then, they took over her life. It didn’t end well.

Once upon our time Dr. Newt Geiszler, marine biologist, sci-fi aficionado, and accidental discoverer of dimensional travel, got a chance to take her place. He has a couple of ideas.

In which Uprising is still a bad movie, musings on the nature of choice and personal autonomy are made, and somewhere, probably, a coin is showing heads every time.

What you can expect: everything’s fine this is a perfectly normal fic come here i want to cause you as much emotional damage as I can

Not Allowed by acedott (BBC Merlin, Gwen/Morgana, 1k, General Audiences)

Gwen has been dealing with self-imposed touch starvation since she was a child. Morgana sets out to challenge this. 

What you can expect: gays. Pining. Touch starvation. Need I say more?

Rocky Horror Pancake Show by ChuckleVoodoos (Daredevil, Matt Murdock/Franklin “Foggy” Nelson, 19k, Teen and Up)

Foggy falls asleep at exactly 12:00 AM, and he’s making a wish. He wakes up at 12:00 AM too—twenty-four hours before he fell asleep.

"Let's do the time warp again!"

What you can expect: Ground-hog Day style time-loop, lots of fluff, and a happy ending.

Ain’t No Nancy Kerrigan by cleverqueen (DC’s Legends of Tomorrow, Leonard Snart/Mick Rory, 13k, Teen and Up)

It's 1994, and young Lisa Snart's jumps aren't strong enough for an Olympic singles skater. Thankfully, her older brother has an athletic friend who can match her in pairs.

Mick Rory is hopelessly in love with Leonard Snart, though he'd never say anything about it, so he jumps at a chance to do Len's little sister a favor. If he's patient and works hard, maybe he'll even get to skate with her older brother.

What you can expect: pining, ice-skating, and general goodness. It’s fun, it’s funny, and it has a happy ending.

[weirdponytail]

Modern Inheritance: Limits (Semi WIP)

Summary: "Brom, I just want them back! I don't want anyone else to die and I want them back!" "I know, kid." "...I hate this fucking war." "...Yeah. Me too." Everyone has a limit on what they can endure without cracking under the strain. Some people can move that limit when they must, push themselves a little further to shoulder more so that others don't have to take it on or see them hurting. But often it's those people who break the hardest when their limit is finally reached. 

Arya stared up at the plaster coated stone of the embassy ceiling. The events of the last twenty four hours played over and over in her mind, threatening to drown out her attempts to rest.

Ajihad was dead. The man everyone had been so sure would lead them to the gates of Urû’baen was gone.

Even after a lifetime of loss, Arya felt Ajihad’s death hit particularly hard.

The man was a genius strategist and unparalleled negotiator. Under his guidance the Varden had not only survived but thrived even as Galbatorix increased his campaign against them.

That wasn’t all. He was not just a military leader. Ajihad had been a personal friend to Arya, Fäolin and Glenwing. Despite being decades younger than the elves, the fallen commander always kept his eye out for them and encouraged all three to speak openly to him if any problems arose. He was kind, just and one of the most honorable men Arya had met during the entire hellish war.

Unbidden, the memory of the last occasion Arya had spent one on one time with the Varden’s leader crept into her mind.

It felt like months had already passed, but just over two weeks ago Ajihad had strode into Arya’s tiny room in the medical wing with a thermos of her favorite tea balanced on a fresh set of her fatigues in one hand and a packet of notes in the other. Arya had expected him to give a few short condolences and exchange hurried niceties before launching into a formal debriefing about her captivity, the events that led to it, and the information that she had either collected or divulged during that time. It was procedure, after all, and with the Urgals army fast approaching Arya understood that there would be little time for anything but the necessities.

But the Varden’s leader did nothing of the sort. Instead, using mugs borrowed from the cabinet of the nurse’s station, Ajihad sat and shared tea while he talked with the recently revived elf. They sat together, Ajihad somehow still looking regal and powerful while relaxing in a ratty old chair and Arya sitting cross legged on the edge of the hospital bed, barefoot and shirtless but very grateful for the pants and sports bra that provided more protection than a the hospital’s light pants and open backed shirt.

Ajihad spent well over an hour telling her of the things that had gone on since she last left with Saphira’s egg. Everything from an incident where Coop, the one legged veteran who owned the Varden’s traveling bar, had used his prosthetic to knock out the instigator of a drunken brawl, to the Ingeitum clan’s recent efforts to restart production of small tanks and new artillery, was discussed. It was informal, relaxing almost, and for Arya it brought an almost desperately welcome break from the constant questions about her state of mind and the well meant but invasive queries about her captivity and torture.

The tea had long since been finished when Ajihad paused, the boyish grin left from telling of Coop’s improvised assault fading from his lips. He steepled his fingers and settled his elbows on his knees before asking if Brom had told her about the current situation between the Varden and the elves. When Arya answered in the affirmative, an edge creeping into her tone, he simply nodded. He knew that she would do everything possible to put relations back in order.

Still. She could see the questions in his eyes.

He didn’t ask them. Instead, Ajihad gave her sincere condolences on the deaths of Fäolin and Glenwing. He did not apologize for their deaths, nor did he dither on about what could have been or should have been done, but he recounted their strengths and character, how much they meant to specific people in the Varden, and how much their support had meant to him and Nasuada during the early years of his leadership. It was heartfelt, and held no awkward silence or uncertainty as to how to address their deaths. Ajihad knew the importance of acknowledging their loss, while also understanding Arya’s need for privacy in processing their deaths.

As he took his leave, Ajihad pulled three objects from the pocket of his vest and gently folded Arya’s fingers over them. The subdued gleam of two hammered steel badges, bearing the Varden’s seal and hanging from black ribbons, met her gaze when she carefully revealed the gifts. Under them, another medal, plated in dull brass with a sky blue ribbon, detailed a wolf leaping over a wall of snarled barbed wire.

As she tilted the medals in her hand, Arya’s breath caught in the back of her throat. Etched carefully into the metal so that they became clear when light shifted, the glyphs that she, Glenwing and Fäolin had chosen for the motto of their tiny special ops unit shined back at her.

With a sudden lurch Arya sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed, chest aching.

Even in their deaths, Ajihad had provided Fäolin and Glenwing permanent proof that though they were not human, they would always be a part of the Varden. It was a thought that Ajihad turned to solid fact during his time as leader, ensuring that the elves felt accepted and trusted in the fight against Galbatorix. It was why losing him felt like losing a another part of the family Arya had found in the Varden’s ranks. A family that was quickly shrinking as the conflict reached the start of it’s crescendo with Eragon and Saphira’s arrival.

At the thought of family Arya’s mind turned to Nasuada. Barely into adulthood and carrying the same strength and wit that Ajihad often displayed, Nasuada’s love for her father was obvious. The two doted on each other as much as they butted heads, stubborn and unyielding in their conviction to help the Varden despite the danger.

If only I had been faster. She still couldn’t shake the sound of the young woman’s wail that reverberated through the tunnels. Even in the warren of passages that the Urgals had escaped through she had heard the agonized sound clearly. I should have used magic to drive the Urgals back. Then maybe Ajihad, Murtagh and the others would have gotten out.

Arya tightened her grip on the sheets, feeling her nails dig into her palms through the material. No. I can’t do this now. She squeezed her eyes shut and forced the lump in her throat down. Took several slow, deep breaths and settled back into the bed. There’s too much to do, too much at stake. Doubt and grief can come later. We’ll mourn later.

Right now, sleep. Then take the day one step at a time. The Council meeting tomorrow. Prep for travel back to Ellesméra. Keep an eye on Eragon and Saphira, make sure no one tries anything while we’re in chaos. Make sure the Council doesn’t try to steamroll Brom’s advice.

She breathed in again, closed her eyes. Loosened the fists she had made and forced her tired body to relax as she let it out. The tightness in her throat hadn’t gone away fully, and the heavy feeling in her chest remained. But it could wait. It would have to wait.

Keep on keeping on. It’s all we can do.

Resigned to sleep yet still uneasy, the elf subconsciously rolled over in the bed and reached out for the comforting, familiar warmth of Fäolin’s body beside hers.

Her hand fell through open air to land on cold, empty sheets.

Arya’s eyes snapped open.

~~~

Brom rubbed his face, chewing once again on the stem of his empty pipe. Arya had banned him from smoking in the embassy, but he was in no mood leave his room, much less go outside.

A heavy shroud covered Tronjheim in the wake of Ajihad’s death earlier that day. People were openly crying in the tunnels and crowded together for solidarity in their grief. The Rider didn’t want to be drawn into it. Instead he preferred to reflect on his emotions and the events alone with a shot of strong bourbon and his pipe. Sometimes one or two close friends were welcome, but the number of people he counted as such had dwindled over the course of the war till less than a handful remained.

Brom sucked in a breath through the pipe, tasting the remnants of his years of smoking in the wood. He hadn’t known Ajihad all that well, but the man made quite an impression on him the times that they had met face to face as well as when the two exchanged letters about the Varden. Brom found his decisions sound and his leadership to be well in line with the values that the Varden had been founded on. His death was a blow to the group for sure, both in a strategic sense and an emotional one.

The question of who would take over the Varden now haunted the Rider’s mind. Brom had been almost completely out of contact for the fifteen years he watched over Eragon in Carvahall, never mind the handful of years he spent infiltrating Morzan’s mansion. He had no idea who would be best to succeed Ajihad, but knew one thing: the Council was not to be trusted with the final decision.  

Brom growled in quiet frustration. In his opinion a majority of the current Council were a bunch of power hungry, manipulative jackasses.

But still...the Council was an important part of the Varden’s structure. Without them t–

Brom bolted to his feet, chair clattering to the ground as a ragged scream ripped through the embassy. The Rider was out the door and in the hall when a resounding crash followed not a moment later.

Brom staggered as Arya’s door opened easily, fully expecting it to be locked when he jammed his shoulder against it. He stumbled into the darkened room and stopped, feeling a twinge of tightness in his chest as he took in the somewhat familiar scene.

Arya was sitting on the floor below a fresh hole in the plaster that hid the pipes and utilities anchored to the stone walls. Her shoulders, littered with angry red and raw scars that peeked out from the loose collar of her nightshirt, shuddered every few moments. Her left hand clenched over her face to hide her eyes while her lips pressed tight together to prevent any hint of sound.

Her right hand was limp at her knee, torn and bloodied. Deep bruises already bloomed at her first two knuckles where skin still remained.

Brom carefully stepped over scattered chips of plaster and sank to his knees in front of the crumpled elf. “Hey now…” Arya’s jaw clenched tighter and she turned her face away from him at his soft words, still covering her eyes. “Don’t do this, girl. We’ve talked about this.” Gently but firmly, the Rider grasped the woman’s left wrist and tugged.

A long second passed as Brom kept up the pressure, feeling the silent trembling through the limb until she finally dropped her hand. Arya looked up at him through the tears that streaked her face.

“There we go.” He gave her a soft smile. Eragon was his son, it was true. But family reached further than blood, and he’d be damned if he didn’t see the woman before him as his daughter. He had watched her grow from a small child, eager to fight in the name of her people, to a woman that now endured a multitude of wounds in the hope that her deeds would lead to a better future for all the races.

It wasn’t the first time he saw her like this. Wasn’t the first time he had consoled her after years, decades of pushing aside her own feelings for the sake of others, for the sake of the war, finally shattered through her carefully constructed walls. She had seen him the same way before as well. They both knew it was not likely it would be the last.  

So he did what he had done before. What they both had done. “Don’t hold back, girl. I’m right here.”

Arya shuddered. Squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. But she didn’t resist when Brom pulled her into his arms.

Instead she gave a choked cry, seized a fistful of his shirt, and sobbed hard into his shoulder.

[bae-leth]

Okay with all the talk about Natalia and Artemis pulling an Awakening of sorts and going back in time to their dads’ academy days, I gotta write up a little something about this. I’ll stick with scenario A: the kids ending up in an Azure Moon past and scenario B: them ending up in a Verdant Wind past. I’ll stay away from the kids ending up in a Crimson Flower past because it’ll be kinda complicated and also I think that would be a little too traumatizing for these poor babies (as if me launching them into AM and VW won’t traumatize them lol). *okay hopefully Tumblr didn’t eat this and it actually went through this time*

For how the kids end up in the past let’s just say Natalia and Artemis went on recon mission together and happened to accidentally come across a long abandoned secret Agarthan facility. While exploring it they accidentally end up triggering a magic trap. Artemis attempts to use his own magic to dispel it but it reacts strangely. Next thing they know, the kids are waking up on the ground in a field within eyesight of Garreg Mach Monastery. Yeah it’s contrived but how they got there isn’t the big thing here.

Other general stuff to note! For this adventure let’s have Natalia be 18 years old and Artemis is 15 years old. Their dads still wield the Hero Relics so the kids don’t have them and their mounts (Natalia’s horse Ares and Artemis’ wyvern Altena) didn’t come back with them. Less stuff for the kids to have to explain away but still makes things annoying for them, especially since they still have to deal with their Crests.

Also, to make things just a bit less horrible for them, while Natalia and Artemis are stuck in the past for the five years of the game’s story, five years aren’t passing in their original timeline. It’s more like an adjustment of one year in the past equals like a month in their proper timeline. And while they are in the past, they’re not aging. It’s like they’ve been “removed from the flow of time”, more or less. Still experiencing things as they come but they themselves aren’t aging or changing during this time (another annoying thing to try and explain away while they’re stuck in the past). This is because I didn’t want them to lose out on five whole years of their lives. Also because I didn’t want to put poor Dimitri and Felix through having their kids vanish for five damn years. They just get to go through the horror of wondering where their kids disappeared to for five months instead.

Natalia and Artemis claim to be “a pair of siblings who are simply travelling the continent” and that’s usually enough for most people to leave them alone. Plus it helps that Garreg Mach and the academy often get visitors, so having strangers show up isn’t too weird. But the pair of them still stick out since they have that air of being far more noble than they come across and you darn well better believe they were closely watched for a long time before people realized they meant no harm.

Stuff gets especially difficult when the pair occasionally help out in battles and their Crests activate (let’s say the glowy symbol effect is something that you physically see and not just a game mechanic). That is far more difficult to explain away since while enough time has passed since the age of the Ten Elites that Crests can appear practically anywhere, the Blaiddyd and Fraldarius Crests have never before been seen outside of their respective family lines. However a good enough argument is made that it very much is possible that the pair simply have distant (lol) Blaiddyd and Fraldarius blood in them and so they just so happened to inherit the Crests. Sylvain gets a lot of mileage out of teasing Dimitri and Felix over this whole thing while Natalia and Artemis try not to laugh like awkward dummies.

Natalia and Artemis being so excited to see young versions of their dads and their uncles and aunts from the Blue Lions. And a younger, far less expressive version of Byleth!

“Oh goddess, Artemis, I just realized I’m technically older than Father and Papa, they’re both only 17 right now!” “Papa ages really gracefully, he barely looks different than he does in our time. But seeing Father with short hair and two eyes is so odd.”

“Uncle Ashe and Aunt Annette have such round cheeks!” “I can’t get used to Aunt Mercedes or Aunt Ingrid with such long hair!” “Was Uncle Sylvain always this much of a flirt? I thought the stories were exaggerating.” “Uncle Dedue keeps looking so sternly at us. We didn’t even do anything this time!”

“Professor never smiles or anything. I heard he used to be really expressionless, but I didn’t realize it was to this extent.” “I’m just glad that the ‘Professor’ nickname has stuck in our time, at least we can call one person what we usually call them.”

Ingrid legit thinks Sylvain is dying or something because Natalia is a pretty young lady yet Sylvain has yet to make a move on her.

“Ingrid you don’t get it, every time I try it feels like I’m gonna throw up! It’s like hitting on a family member!” “Oh so this is going too far but when you hit on my poor granny-” “Would you let that go already?!”

Dimitri and Felix are going through a lot because they don’t understand why they feel so attached to Natalia and Artemis. Dimitri tries to reason that when he was younger he always wanted siblings and the pair are rather attached to him and Felix so it’s something like that. Doesn’t account for just how protective and doting he is on them though. Meanwhile there’s always whispers about how easily Felix lets the siblings stick by him and he’s so annoyed because “why the hell are they constantly trying to get me and the boar prince to spend time together????”

Byleth also has a soft spot for them and the kids have the easiest time with him since interactions with Byleth aren’t that different from their interactions in their own time.

You know that one monk who says Dedue probably had something to do with Flayn’s kidnapping? Natalia totally decks him in the face when she hears him say that. When the guy tries to complain, Artemis turns up the charm and has everyone believing him when he says that of course his dear big sister would never do something so terrible, and so Natalia gets off scot free.

When it comes to Edelgard Artemis has mixed feelings because he knows about how she starts the war and all she does but at the same time he remembers the bittersweet expression on his father’s face the few times he spoke of her. Meanwhile Natalia is distant and wants nothing to do with Edelgard, knowing all the pain she caused the people Natalia loves.

It’s interesting for the pair to see Claude, since the Claude they know is a lot more open about his true feelings. Still talks circles around them all and savvy as ever, but more honest with himself and those he considers close. Claude is also the one who is most curious about the siblings’ mysterious origins (well other than Hanneman who wants to know all he can for his Crest research)

Artemis causes quite a stir when he goes around slinging magic from the back of a wyvern he borrowed from the stables, forgetting that magic wielding wyvern riders are not gonna be a thing for another few decades. He’s just lucky he managed to borrow the most chill wyvern in the stables because any other wyvern would’ve thrown him off if he tried that with them.

So hey wanna imagine how fucking scared the kids are when the Holy Tomb incident occurs and they see Dimitri crush two guys’ skulls?

Their father doesn’t like to talk about the full details of the darkest time in his life, when his mental state was at its lowest. But he was also rather honest with the kids, telling them that he had done many things that were horrifying, that can’t be easily forgiven, if at all. Natalia and Artemis thought they understood but seeing their father breaking down before their eyes is completely different from the stories they were told.

Natalia doesn’t know how to talk to Dimitri about this so she lets Artemis handle him. Artemis is good at just being a comforting presence, knowing when to stay back and when to sit close. Knowing when to say something and when to listen. Natalia chooses to stick by Felix, arguing with him about how harsh he’s being towards Dimitri. Her own fierce and stubborn nature means she can hold her own against Felix. When she sees a rare flash of vulnerability on Felix’s face she understands that, more than anyone, he didn’t want things to turn out like this for Dimitri.

In the years that pass Natalia and Artemis argue a lot over how much they should interfere. This is the Blue Lions’ past so they know what’s going to happen but they can’t agree on whether or not to say anything. Do they try to stop Edelgard’s war? Do they try to warn someone? But how and when? They know where Dimitri disappeared to after his “execution” should they tell someone? But what if things change too much? What if they make things worse? What if what they’re doing has some effect on their own time? Is it selfish to not want to risk their future, their loved ones?

Okay that’s as much as I have to say about the AM version, so let’s talk more about the kids being sent to a VW past.

The kids are so confused when they see Byleth teaching the Golden Deer. What does this mean? Is this an alternate past? But then how will they know what’s going to happen? Will things really change that much if Byleth is teaching another house?

Their confusion only doubles when, a few months later, Felix transfers to the Golden Deer. Natalia confronts him about this but Felix states that Byleth is good with a sword and he wants to learn from him, there’s nothing more to it.

“You’re not running from Dimitri, are you?” “…Why’re you so invested? You and that brother of yours are just a pair of strangers who keep making everyone else’s business your own.”

Artemis keeps a close eye on Dimitri throughout the year, wondering if perhaps Byleth being with another house will make a positive change for Dimitri. Of course Artemis doesn’t want to lose the important bond between Byleth and the Blue Lions, between Byleth and him and Natalia. But…if this can provide a benefit to his father…

But no, Dimitri still falls apart, slowly but steadily. The war still comes. But now Natalia and Artemis are faced with he horror of their father going down separate paths. Felix going to the Leicester Alliance after Faerghus falls and Dimitri still missing. So the kids make a painful decision, a scary one they’re only making because they don’t know what else to do.

Natalia follows Felix to Leicester. Artemis sets out to find Dimitri. Natalia tries to convince Felix to search for Dimitri, to return to Faerghus. Dimitri flips between ignoring Artemis and barely tolerating his presence. Natalia is at her wit’s end, not knowing how Dimitri or Artemis are doing in this strange timeline. Artemis is so desperately lonely, even with Dimitri with him, not knowing how Natalia and Felix are doing.

Everything falls apart on Gronder Field. In the chaos of the three-way battle, Natalia and Artemis lose track of their dads. But they find each other, seeing each other again for the first time in years. Their reunion is emotional, a small bright spot in this horrifying war. But then they have to find their dads.

By the time they locate Dimitri and Felix, the pair are in combat and it’s vicious. Natalia, frustrated and scared that she’s gonna watch her beloved dads murder each other, rushes in, using her own lance to break them apart. As she keeps a furious Felix held back, Dimitri uses the distraction to go look for Edelgard while Artemis rushes after him.

“Where are you going?!” “I must kill that woman. She’ll die by my hands alone!” “You’re too hurt! You’ll die! Please stop this!” “You’ve been nothing but a thorn in my side all these years. If you don’t like this, then leave me!”

“Why did you stop us?” “Because you’re both idiots! Absolute idiots! How can you fight each other, try to kill each other?!” “He’s nothing but a beast now. It’s how he is.” “It’s not! It’s not…Neither of you, none of this, is supposed to be like this!”

Artemis loses track of Dimitri for a short time in the crowds but it’s long enough. By the time he finds Dimitri again, the prince is on the ground, impaled by so many spears. Dying.

Artemis screams and sobs and throws himself on Dimitri, begging him not to die. He can’t keep up the façade in this moment, seeing his father dying, even if it’s not the same father he knows.

“Father!!! Don’t die, don’t die, don’t die! Don’t leave me, Father! You can’t do this to me! To us!! Please please please!!!!”

In Dimitri’s last moments, the fog in his mind clears and the voices quiet down just enough that Dimitri realizes what Artemis is screaming. And although he doesn’t have all the information, knows it’s bizarre, in his heart he realizes it’s true, that it explains certain things. Artemis is…And the girl, Natalia…Meaning Felix…is…He must be, there could be no other who Dimitri would ever…

“…I’m…so sorry…”

Natalia hears her brother’s distant scream and runs, Felix following close behind because even though the girl is strange and annoying he couldn’t bear it if she died (but why does he feel that way?). They arrive just in time for Felix’s world to crash around him. Just in time to hear Dimitri’s soft and weak apology, to see Artemis clutching Dimitri’s dead body and sobbing hysterically against his chest. Just in time for Natalia to fall to her knees, tears streaming down her face, as she whispers “Father”.

Welp, I that’s enough there too. So let’s get into the last bit. How the heck poor Dimitri and Felix are doing with their kids missing.

Soldiers return to Fhirdiad with Ares and Altena but without their riders. The soldiers explain to Dimitri and Felix that they found the pair of mounts exhausted but doing their best to race to Fhirdiad. There’s no sign of the crown princess or the prince.

The search for Natalia and Artemis is done covertly at first because the panic that would spread across Fodlan if it was revealed that both of the royal children have disappeared would be too great. But as weeks go on with no sign of the kids, word ends up getting out.

Dimitri is beside himself, wondering if someone from his past hoping for revenge has done something to the children. If they’ve been hurt or worse because of his own actions, he’d never forgive himself for as long as he lives. Felix has to divide himself between preventing Dimitri from spiraling downwards and worrying over what happened to Natalia and Artemis.

All of the Blue Lions are hard at work looking for the kids, Byleth himself getting involved too (and the times when he can’t he sends plenty of Knights of Seiros to go looking in his place). Dimitri asks for help from Claude as time goes by, who offers all the help he can. But there’s no sign of the children. No sign of any battles, of any kidnappings, nothing…

After a couple months pass some of the royal advisors get together to talk about the search. They decide it may be better to speak with Felix first. So they bring Felix to a private area and tell him the truth. About how it’s been two months, with no ransoms, no sightings of the children, nothing to suggest they were taken. And Natalia and Artemis are both strong and capable enough that if they could escape from whatever situation they were in they would have by now. The advisors say it’s probably time to start thinking that perhaps they children may be dead.

Dimitri rushes into the room at the sound of yelling and sees the advisors crowding on the ground around another advisor whose nose was clearly broken and gushing blood. Felix stood above him with his fists clenched, angrier than Dimitri had ever seen him in all their years.

“If you have time to talk to me about your bullshit theories, you have time to get out there and search!”

More months pass and it’s common sentiment among many citizens that Natalia and Artemis are most likely dead, there’s been so sightings of them, no word from them. But everyone knows better than to say anything within earshot of any Blue Lions, the Archbishop, or the royal couple.

But Dimitri is breaking down as more months pass. And Felix, for all his fierce nature and stubbornness, is falling apart too. Dimitri spends so much time in Natalia and Artemis’ rooms when he’s not working himself to near death while Felix only ever stays in the castle long enough to make sure Dimitri is well and the kingdom’s affairs are running well before leaving to follow a new lead.

No one will say it out loud but the worry is spreading. That if Natalia and Artemis aren’t found, or…if their bodies aren’t found, that neither Dimitri nor Felix will last much longer. That after all the work and pain that went into bringing peace back to Fodlan and helping it progress, it was all going to fall apart.

Okay that’s a lot of depressing stuff so let’s end this on a high note.

After five months pass, Natalia and Artemis come home. Or Dimitri and Felix finally find them. The royal pair find the mysterious Agarthan facility just as a strange light comes from within. When they go in, they find Natalia and Artemis standing up, together, alive, looking no different than the day they vanished five months ago.

Dimitri and Felix are both frozen in shock but the second Natalia and Artemis lock eyes with their dads they both let out shouts and sobs and basically tackled their dads to the ground in a massive group hug, sobbing the whole time.

Neither Natalia nor Artemis have ever seen Dimitri or Felix cry, especially as much as they were doing so in that moment. But they could laugh about that later. The family was all together again. That’s all that truly mattered.

“Welcome home.” “We’re back.”

—————–

notes from bae:

I’M SCREAMING INTO THE VOID. THESE ARE SO GOOD AND SO SO HEARTBREAKING I’VE BEEN TORN TO PIECES

immediately upon reading the first bits i could tell that my heart was going to be broken because a) azure moon hurts enough on its OWN, and b) i don’t think i will ever get over dimitri’s ending in vw. and all of felix’s endings without him just spell Misery anyway, so seeing Artemis break down over him?? EXPECTED but also??? Artemis??? my sweet sunshine son oh my GOD i am so UPSET!! that entire scene with dimitri’s last words to his son got me. crying in a pool of tears

and i don’t even want to touch CF without at least ten mins worth of prep time, jfc. knowing what happens to unrecruited Felix & co in Arianrhod, and then what happens over at Tailtean, would absolutely break the two of them :( not to mention the even worse scenario of watching CF!Felix unfold…. gosh. ouch.

The mental image of watching Natalia and Artemis trying to explain away their crests is so funny to me…. just: “Our Crests? Uh - we’re… distant descendants of the Elites! Very… filtered down.” “Not at all related to your bloodlines :) (Natalia you’re giving us away stop snickering-!)

SYLVAIN BEING UNABLE TO FLIRT WITH NATALIA YES i remember reading this in an earlier submission and it still makes me laugh :’) and awww… their reactions to their younger aunts/uncles make my heart warm. especially Dedue LMAOO ‘THIS TIME’ WHAT DO THEY PUT THE POOR MAN THROUGH IN THEIR OG TIMELINE….. you kids….!

DIMA AND FELIX WITH THOSE PROTECTIVE INSTINCTS…! you calling Dimitri 'doting’ is doing a number on my heart. Does he make sure they eat and sleep properly? Put them out of harm’s way in battle? Go to bed and wonder why on earth he feels this urge to keep them safe all the time?? Does Felix do the same, but in his own Felix-y way? Do the others stop in awe as they watch him conversing in a normal fashion with the two? I need detais, this is all good food.

Artemis nearly starting a new trend decades early? Natalia decking that racist piece of garbage. good. GOOD. look at them, they’re already creating positive change in the world, and it’s not even their world! i’m so proud of them

you’re right, the holy tomb scene would be absolutely terrifying for them :( but i’m glad they both manage to track down and stay with DImitri and Felix in their own way. VW on the other hand….. OUCH….. OH NO….. them watching Byleth go off and leave the Lions, knowing that he normally has a soft spot for them and their fathers, so what happened? THat must be heartbreaking :(

and then THAT REUNION ON GRONDER FIELD.  “You’ve been nothing but a thorn in my side all these years. If you don’t like this, then leave me!” - NOOOOO THE DRAMATIC IRONY… DELICIOUS YET PAINFUL…. and then Artemix’ breakdown??? IVE ALREADY SAID THIS BUT YOU RIPPED MY HEART TO SHREDS. DIMITRI REALISING TOO LATE? S H R E D S I TELL YOU

and ofc, in the normal world, you’ve got two parents sick with worry about their missing kids…. Dimitri and Felix really went through it, didn’t they :( They must’ve been in a horrible state. imagining a Dimitri that’s barely hanging on & absolutely blaming himself (even though he’s done nothing wrong!) and a Felix that’s trying to keep it together but fraying at the edges…. i am so so glad they get the happy ending they dESERVE. let this family be happy! let the kids get the scolding of their lives before they all collapse into one big group hug. 

thank you so much for this submission, it made my NIGHT. fraldarddyd family au never fails to make me smile!!

[thegeminisage]

5 headcanons for Arthur, Merlin, Morgana, and Gwen

ANON I LOVE YOU thank u

im doing these in reverse order bc i wanna save the best 4 last

GWEN:

i think she genuinely enjoys taking care of people. it’s a role she’s forced into a lot - she takes care of her dad, elyan, morgana, uther, even merlin and arthur once in awhile, even HUNITH - but i think she’s the kind of person who finds genuine fulfillment in doing that kind of thing (she picked FLOWERS for morgana just because), and if she hadn’t been the blacksmith’s daughter she would have made a fine apprentice to gaius herself

she’s a better rider than you. and arthur. and elyan. and morgana. and everybody

we never hear word one about gwen’s mom but i like to imagine she died just before gwen and morgana met (which i’m assuming happened shortly after morgana came to camelot) - and gwen, who had just lost a mother, could easily sympathize with morgana, who had just lost a father and was somewhere new and unfamiliar - and that’s why they became such fast friends

gwen is probably a few years older than morgana - i like to think she was morgana’s maidservant from the start, but i don’t think they would have let her be a maidservant to the king’s ward at age 10, so maybe she’s 3ish years older - not so much older she strays into big sister territory, but old enough to do the job required of her

nobody among the knights/guards really knew what to make of gwen or arthur’s feelings for gwen because she’s ??? just a serving girl ??? like they didn’t dislike her exactly and they respected arthur’s choice for the most part but they also didn’t know anything about her and couldn’t see why the fuck arthur would make such a stir over her when it would be so much easier not to. this changes 100% after gwen’s shenanigans with smuggling leon out of camelot; leon comes back singing her praises like ok ok i GET HER now y’all ain’t gonna believe how she got me outta that cell and on leon’s word (and because she’s elyan’s brother and he’s a knight now too) everybody else warms up to her too

MORGANA:

this is practically canon but she’s a lesbian, obviously. gwen was the first girl she had a crush on

this isn’t a headcanon exactly but i wish bbc merlin had had a better budget because you know who deserved a black cat familiar? morgana. like, aithusa made a wonderful foil to merlin’s relationship w/ kilgarrah and i would not wish aithusa’s fate on any creature let alone some poor innocent cat, but also, the IMAGERY...it could have been so good

this is also sort of canon but i think she dresses expressively, hence the goth look after she goes evil. @dellesayah​ & i joke about her “evil girl eyeliner” in season 3 but honestly look the way the girl wears 100% black in s4 and s5 i think the eyeliner was her own private expression of her inner angry goth post-poisoning when she still had to be wearing those colorful dresses to fool everybody into thinking she was the same good girl morgana in s3

same age as arthur. idk why most fics have her being older - tho i admit her being older but still not being able to inherit the crown is a VALID source of her rage - but if she was born w/ magic is makes the most sense for her to have been born after the purge started, aka after arthur. i guess it depends on when you think uther cheated on his wife lol. but i never really thought of morgana and arthur as having like an older/younger sibling thing - to me they were more like twins, so definitely within a year of his age, whether it’s slightly older or younger depends on how you feel that day i guess

wintertime birthday. i think arthur has a summertime birthday (more on that below) so it makes her a nice balance to him in that way

MERLIN:

the Most doting son ever. i imagine he had a few difficult teenage years (being a warlock and all) and that he still gets himself into trouble out of sheer stupidity sometimes but aside from that he was probably really well-behaved for the most part just because he didn’t wanna make his mama sad

autumn birthday, since we went there with morgana (to complete the quad in Balance, gwen’s would definitely have to be in the spring)

ok i know colin morgan had to like put on a nice “proper” english accent for the show because katie mcgrath didn’t have one but in my heart merlin sounds like a HICK (whatever the ye olde englishe/modern british version of hick sounds like, he’s it) and his accent only gets worse for all the time they’re at ealdor. like arthur THOUGHT it was bad he probably picked on merlin about it all the time but he had NO IDEA how bad it gets! none! and EVERYBODY in ealdor sounds like that except somehow EVEN WORSE! gwen and morgana think it’s UTTERLY charming but arthur is SO GLAD to get back to camelot and away from all that nonsense! and so then ok when they meet balinor in s2 (who speaks like a normal human being) he listens to merlin talk for 5 minutes and IMMEDIATELY knows exactly where the fuck he’s from. #hicksrepresent

merlin SAYS and BELIEVES he understands magic should only be used for great deeds blah blah blah but when he gets overworked and short on time, yeah, that armor’s gonna be polishing itself while he works on 4 other things at once - he just gets better at not being caught. it’s a great deed to keep arthur’s armor in peak condition, right? arthur says he’s a terrible servant but actually being magically aided he winds up being like...really good at his job, once he gets into the swing of it. he’s just fucking insubordinate always 24/7

*** ****** no i will not be taking constructive criticism

ARTHUR:

he knew they lied to him in 2.08. he always knew. canon evidence supports this in 4.03 he says “i lost both my parents to magic” listen to me he ALWAYS KNEW!!!

canon also semi-supports a summertime birthday - i read somewhere once that they made it a point to only show camelot in spring thru early fall so they didn’t have to explain why there wasn’t snow on the ground. arthur’s coming of age ceremony (which i assumed either followed or preceeded his birthday) was in the middle of season 1, which would have been mid or late summer, hence: arthur is a summer baby.

i really like the gay!arthur headcanon but i also think he and gwen have incredible chemistry and i really like their relationship so like...maybe gay with one genuine exception. also that boy EMBODIES internalized homophobia :( poor lad

fond of DOGS and sometimes HORSES but refuses to show it because that’s not very manly of him. he’s too into hunting to truly be an Animal Person but since you don’t hunt dogs or horses generally he has a very very secret soft spot

the writers didnt do this on purpose but in my heart i believe the reason he was willing to risk SO much to save mordred in 1.08 was because of what he did to that druid camp from 4.10......like at first yeah he tries to be hard-hearted about it & just do his fuckin job but i think once his conscience was tripped he couldn’t stand to see a druid kid die again under his watch for no good reason. he’d’ve never agreed otherwise, not even for a kid. he wouldn’t have ratted morgana out but he wouldn’t have helped her either

(send me a character & i’ll give you 5 headcanons)

[a-random-viking-blog]

Loki’s Therapy

this is a short piece I did as part of the writing exercises from Neil Gaiman's art of storytelling masterclass, so without further ado, I give you Loki’s therapy

Intorductions and Baldur's death

“This is going to be an unusual client.” Dr Fliberwitz thought to himself, he had been going down steps deeper into the earth for almost twenty minutes. He had first suspected something was off when he had been told to meet the client at a cave, but the money was good so Fliberwitz had agreed without question, in hindsight that had been a bad idea.

Upon thinking this, he noticed an ear piercing screaming coming from a little further down, Fliberwitz increased his pace down the stairs, in a rush, he slipped on the damp rocky steps and fell down the last few stairs.

Upon recovering from the fall, he looked around, it was not a huge room, but it was still a sizeable cavern. He could just about see the opposite walls in the dim torchlight, with a pale silhouette moving against it, but this was something to think about later. His eyes were drawn to the source of the scream, a man, chained to a rock in the centre of the room. A snake's head barely visible in the darkness above him, Fliberwitz stood watching in shock as a drop of venom slid slowly down the snake’s fang, and fell almost, to Fliberwitz at least, in slow motion, followed immediately by a blood-curdling scream.

Dr Fliberwitz hurried over “Don’t worry I’ll get you out” he said, panic clear in his voice.

“Its pointless” came a breathless reply in between the agonised screams. Fliberwitz couldn't stand to see someone in such a torturous position and tried his best to undo the chains, as he fumbled he stopped as the silhouetted figure drew closer. Upon closer inspection, he could make out a feminine figure carrying a bowl, which moved swiftly towards the man chained to the rock.

As the bowl was held over his head protecting him from the dripping venom, the screaming quickly subsided and once the man was calm, he turned to Dr Fliberwitz coughed and said “sorry for your rather lacklustre welcome, but as you can see I’m hardly in a position to welcome guests. So you must be that therapist Odin demanded I speak to, not like I have much choice in the matter, and after a few millennia in this cave, it is a welcome distraction”

“Wait, Odin?” Fliberwitz inquired.

“Yes our magnanimous king and the one whos whole idea this fun little prank is…” the chained man replied

“So does this mean that your Loki?” asked Fliberwitz

“Wow, I can see why Odin sent you, a real genius… yes i am he, Loki god of fire and mischief, in all my glory, and this is my wife, Sigyn” as Loki said this Sigyn, took a hand off the bowl to wave, spilling a small drop of venom onto Loki’s face eliciting a short scream. “ I guess you're here to ask me about my feelings and my childhood so I can have a breakthrough and a cry and then you get to go away feeling smug that you helped a god, what a wonderful human you are…”

“We can talk about your feelings and your childhood if you want, but I figured you’d rather talk about stories, and if you'd like to share it, I'd like to hear yours. Afterall I’m sure there's more to it than us mere mortals have heard”

“Carry on playing to my ego and I might even begin to like you.” Loki said a hint of surprise detectable in the layers of sarcasm and spite. “Fine I’ll tell you, but only because I’m bored. Afterall being chained a rock for centuries is far from the most exciting pastime.”

“So it all began a long time ago, in a happier time for everyone, and as many of the best stories, it began with a simple prank. Baldur was having some crazy nightmares, he was getting so upset that he was losing his mind, it was hilarious. But true to form Odin and Frigga couldn't see the hilarity of it. As this went on over the weeks and months, Baldur got more and more disturbed, it was the most interesting golden boy had ever been. But Frigga disagreed, she decided she had to do something, and off she went. A few weeks later she returned, making this crazy claim that everything had promised not to harm Baldur. Now I know a lie when I hear one, I've told so many myself that I can the moment I hear one, unless it’s told with as much charm as i do. So I felt the need to find out just what she was lying about, whilst the rest of the gods got to work having fun throwing things at Baldur and watching them stop before hitting him or just bouncing off. The things that amuse those mindless brutes.”

Fliberwitz let out a small chuckle, Loki smiled wryly and continued “Frigga has always been a doting mother, so the best way to wrangle the truth out of her was to pretend to be a doting mother too, so I took the form of a lovely little old lady, and decided to have a chat with her.

I asked her “Did all things swear oaths to spare Baldur from harm?” “Oh, yes,” the goddess replied, “everything except the mistletoe. But the mistletoe is so small and innocent a thing that I felt it superfluous to ask it for an oath. What harm could it do to my son?” and in that moment I knew exactly what I should do.

I quickly hurried to Midgard, it didn’t take me long to locate a small bush of mistletoe, and it was a small plant, but not so small that I couldn’t make a few little darts from it, but I knew it couldn’t be the one to throw them, so I had to find a patsy.

Upon my return to Asgard, the blundering oafs where still amusing themselves with their simplistic games of throwing things at Baldur, almost all the gods were joining in, almost all, that was when i found the perfect patsy” a twisted smile formed on Loki's face. “Sat in the corner alone was Hodr, Baldur's brother, left out of the festivities as Baldur was the only one who ever bothered trying to bring him into things, and with Baldur occupied no one was paying him the slightest bit of attention. With such a perfect fall guy how could I not go through with my plan?

I approached Hodr, and at first he was suspicious, I guess I’ve always had a bit of a reputation, if anything it only puts the blame further on him for trusting me, the fool, but quickly I made him believe that I wanted only to help him enjoy the festivities with the other brutes, then he argued that he was blind how could he possibly join in the fun. So I presented him with my freshly made darts, and told him that i would guide his hand, he would be part of the fun, joining in with the celebration of his brothers new found immortality. It was near impossible for me to hide my grin, luckily with him being blind and the other gods distracted, it didn’t really matter. I lead him over, placed a dart in his hand, guided him to aim for the heart, and then the moment he threw it, I made myself scarce, after all I didn’t want to make it too obvious what I’d done, also tricking Hodr into killing his brother and Odin's most beloved son, I almost wet myself laughing!” Loki chuckled Fliberwitz forced a smile “so there’s clearly more to this story did you not feel any guilt about this?”

“Not in the slightest” Loki replied “after all this had been my greatest prank to date, but it turned out there were still plenty of chances to milk more fun out of this”

“So what happened?” inquired Fliberwitz

“Well obviously Odin and frig were distraught and they desperately tried to bring Baldur back, and soIi had to fuck with them. They dispatched a rider to bargain with my daughter Hel. Now Hel is fair, but she is not exactly fond of Odin, so she offered a deal,  if everything in the 9 realms showed their grief for the loss of Baldur, in the form of a tear, she would release him from the underworld. Now this would be too obvious if I didn’t cry, but trickery is my speciality so I formed a plan, i let their riders go forth and once they were almost done i took the form of an old giantess crone and waited for them in a cave. Upon the entrance of the riders, they begged for me to shed a tear for Baldur, and naturally i simply refused, they begged and begged, but i did not budge, and they left defeated to return to Asgard with news of their failings. Once they were out of earshot, i laughed so hard! It was the perfect revenge for what they did to my kids.

“What happened to your children?” Fliberwitz prompted

“Well that i think is a story for our next session don’t you think? Afterall it looks like the bowl is getting full, but i’ll give you a hint” Loki says as he rattles his chains

“In that case, i shall i be back next week at the same time” Fliberwitz said as he gathered his notes, put them in his bag and prepared for the long journey back up the stairs out of the earth  

As Fliberwitz reached the exit of the cave, the reality of what had just happened began to hit, not only where gods real, but he had just been speaking with one, these myths were real, what else was real? He had many questions, just what was real, was the world as he knew it meaningless?  Was everything humanity has focused on and held dear nout but a meaningless distraction? But Fliberwitz was exhausted, and with no answers to be found he headed home to a much-needed rest, and to process what he had just learned.

Loki’s kids

The next week seemed to take forever to roll around, Fliberwitz struggled to focus in sessions with his human patients, his mind kept wandering back to that cave, and the god trapped there, in comparison to him, nothing felt real, almost as if Loki and his cave where more real than reality. Saturday finally arrived and as Fliberwitz descended the long stone staircase into the bowls of the earth, the excitement began to stir in his chest, as Loki's screams began to reach his ears, his heart began to beat faster excitement building, and trust in his own sanity returned. With each passing day the previous Saturday had felt less real, like a dream fading from memory, but upon hearing the screams it all came flooding back, and he excitedly hurried down the steps almost slipping a couple of times in his haste, but catching himself before he fell.

As he reached the chamber where Loki lay, Sigyn was just returning with the bowl, she smiled at Fliberwitz as he entered. “Ahh doctor, a welcome breath of fresh air, in this dark dank cave”

“Good day Loki” Fliberwitz replied, “I'm looking forward to hearing more of your story, you were about to tell me about what happened with your children, you mentioned your daughter Hel last time, she rules the underworld, is this correct?”

“Yes she does, although while she was treated with some respect it is her brothers that i sought vengeance for”

“Her brothers? What happened to them?”

“Well i promised you the story last time, their mother was a beautiful giantess named Angrboða, and before you ask our dating customs aren't quite as prudish as you humans weird jealous loving thing,” he says as Sigyn nods her head

We had been seeing each other for a while, before she gave birth to triplets three beautiful children, that the aesir believed to be monsters, Hel, whom i have already mentioned, she was born half dead, straight down the middle, one side beautiful and alive, the other skeletal. Her brothers where Jormungandr and Fenrir.  Fenrir is a wolf and Jormungandr a serpent, both were large for their age, and only got bigger. But such large powerful creatures scared those cowardly fools, so Jormungandr they tossed into the sea, and he now encircles all of Midgard. Fenrir at Tyr’s insistence was permitted to stay in Asgard for a while, but as the gods watched him grow they became ever more afraid. So they decided to chain him up, but he was strong, stronger than any chain, so when he broke their strongest chain like it was paper, it sealed his fate. They were terrified.

In their fear, they went to the dwarves loathsome little creatures, but useful, they are the greatest craftsman in the nine realms. Chains would not be enough to seal my son, so they created a magic ribbon, a damned ribbon of all things! They took all sorts of things, like the sound of a cat’s footsteps, woman’s beard’s and the roots of a mountain to make the *ugh* ribbon, this is why you no longer see these things in the mortal world.

So naturally my son was wary of the gods when they approached him with a ribbon, but after some goading, he agreed to let them tie him, but as he didn’t trust them, he demanded that a god put their hand in his mouth as insurance to make sure they untied him. Tyr the god who vouched for Fenrir to stay in Asgard, and who played with him, fed him and generally treated him well, offered his hand as collateral. This set Fenrir at ease, after all he didn’t want to believe that Tyr would try and trick him, but sadly Fenrir was young and naive, none of the gods can be trusted, especially Odin. So they bound Fenrir, and even his incredible strength was not enough to break the magical binding. Upon admitting defeat and asking to be released the gods began to laugh and torment my poor son, unable to defend himself or leave he bit down removing Tyr's hand, hurt beyond measure by Tyrs betrayal.

After the gods had had their fun mocking Fenrir they sealed him away under the earth, as i’m sure you can tell they seem to have a bit of a fetish for it” Loki says as he gestures as best he can to the cave around him.

Fliberwitz was left flabbergasted, the gods have generally been portrayed as wise and kind, but in reality, it was starting to sound that they were no better than humans, potentially worse. Fliberwitz’s heart sank, the hope he had found and built up over the week had just been smashed, the gods where not beings to be worshipped and loved, but now the picture was forming of tyrannical beings to be obeyed without question or face a fate worse than death, and even if you obeyed, they may well do it anyway if they perceived you as a threat. This shook Fliberwitz to the core, could everything we know be wrong? There were so many questions Fliberwitz wanted to ask, but to indulge his curiosity would bring the focus back to Loki's bitterness and hatred, a state of mind he needed to move Loki away from, so his curiosity he had to set aside, but he was a professional, the clients mental health comes first. The cave had gone silent, except from the slow dripping of the venom, their timer for their session, dripping away. Fliberwitz felt the need to say something, to break the silence “did you get to spend much time with your children before they were taken?”

“No, i had to leave to go run some trivial errands for Odin shortly after they were born, in hindsight, it was probably just to get me out of the way so they could take them” Loki sighed

“That’s tragic, the gods sound like greater monsters than your children could ever be!” exclaimed Fliberwitz The silence returned, “they are the greatest monsters in the nine realms” claimed Loki, punctuated by a loud scream as the bowl began to overflow once more, marking the end of the session. “That is not even the worst that they have done to my children, but that is a story for another time, goodbye Mr Fliberwitz”

Fliberwitz began the long slow ascent, his head spinning, once again his conversation with the god of mischief had left him with more questions than answers, and his entire world view shattered, now he felt a great pain to the core of his very being as the world he believed he knew crumbled around him.

The next week was even slower, it felt like the gods where slowing time to torment him like they torment Loki, how could the gods use such trickery, what of the honour that was always associated with them? Where they really as bad as Loki made out? But he couldn't openly interrogate his client, that was incredibly unprofessional, so his personal opinion would have to wait, he had to set himself aside, and keep his role as a professional therapist. If he didnt, then he would likely lose his mind, although that was looking likely either way.

The party

Fliberwitz once more found himself going through the small cavern opening down the stairs, lost fantasising about what he was about to discover what he would learn about the imprisoned god this week, as he approached the bottom of the passage, he noticed a distinct lack of screaming, which was his normal welcome. Upon stepping into the main chamber he was greeted by “your late Mr Fliberwitz” Fliberwitz looked at his watch, he was half an hour late, a large portion of their session was already gone.

“I’m sorry Loki, traffic was awful this evening” he lied, “shall we get on with it? I believe you were about to tell me about what happened to your other children.”

“To tell that story requires another one first, and thankfully that story is quite short, largely as I was quite drunk, so my memory is foggy. The gods were having a feast, and they had the gall not to invite me, so after a few drinks by myself I thought the best idea was to go and confront Odin, we were sworn brothers, he made an oath not to attend a feast unless I too was invited. This feast was a big one, Thor had gone to a lot of effort to secure a large kettle for aegir to brew mead fit for the gods in, and once the mead was ready the feast was prepared, it was grand in scale, one of the greatest feasts I've ever seen, and that made me feel all the more insulted that they hadn’t invited me, after all, what kind of grand feast would it be without my ingenious brand of comedy?

So I entered the hall, and confronted the gods. I will admit in my drunken haze this may not of been my wisest decision, but i couldn’t let this insult go ignored, there was no seat saved for me, nor a horn nor plate for me, odin had broken his oath, and showed no remorse in doing so. In my stupor i began to lash out in the way i best know how, i insulted each and everyone of them, bringing many of them to tears, although after Baldur's recent death the gods were weak of will and filled with sorrow, making them easier targets than they had ever been, and in my drunken state i ripped in to each of them as deeply as i could, every ounce of betrayal and spite that i felt channelled, every wrong that was done to me manifested in insults, it wasn’t long until Frigga said, “Oh, if my son Baldur were only here, he would silence thy wicked tongue!” and at this point a grin grew on my face, i turned and admitted what i had done to Hodr and Baldur, the moment the words had left my lips i realised my mistake, and i fled as fast as I could, barely missing lightning from the raging thor, whos thunder shook the halls.” “Wow, i can understand your sense of betrayal, it must have been painful, but you did kill baldur, and you know yourself the pain of something terrible happening to your children, what did you think would happen once they found out?” Fliberwitz asked nervously, after all he was now questioning a god, this was not what he was used to.

“I guess i wasn't thinking, i just wanted to hurt them, however i think Odin already suspected the truth, knowing him it was probably an elaborate set up to trick me into doing what i did, or at least into acting in a manner that they could reasonably disown me for, after all thor was particularly fast to act, and that oaf is not normally the quickest. But i guess i really messed up there” Loki sighed, Fliberwitz breathed a sigh of relief, he had just questioned a god like he would a normal patient, and it had been okay. But before he could begin to ask any follow-up questions the venom began to trickle down the bowl, and with the agonised scream, their session came to an end for this week and Fliberwitz began the long ascent once more. This time he berated himself on the way up for allowing himself to lose track of time and miss such a large portion of his appointment, if he had been on time he would of been able to get deeper to the route of Loki’s issues, but he could feel proud he had made progress.

The punishment

It had been almost a month since Fliberwitz had first met the chained god, he was finding himself now far more confident in dealing with his patients, he had grown a lot through talking with a god, and he hoped the god had too.

Saturday once more came around and he returned to the cave, this time ensuring to arrive on time, and make his way swiftly down the long damp stone steps, deep into the bowels of the earth. He entered the chamber just as the usual screams came to an end. “Good afternoon doctor, it’s good to see your on time for a change”

“You know your snide remarks are a large part of what brought you here don’t you Loki?”

“What do you know? Only what little i’ve told you, you don’t know the pain i suffer every day, nor do you know what i’ve been through, the confusion, the way i’ve been treated, the uncertainty, the mistrust. You know nothing” Loki snapped struggling against his chains

“Your right Loki, i don’t know how can i, i only know what you tell me, that's why im here, to help you talk through things. To share your pain, and to help make sense of what confuses you,so help me understand.” There was only silence, Loki looked away from his therapist to hide his shame. “Or if you feel more comfortable you can continue your story?”Fliberwitz enquired “ i believe you were going to tell me what happened after the feast, and what happened to your other children. Where those other children with sigyn here?”

Loki sighed “yes they were, i loved those kids, but their part in my tragic tale isn’t quite yet. I didn't think that they would do anything to them, how wrong i was.

So after i escaped from the feast, i found myself a nice mountain to hide on, i lived in a hut with four doors so i could always see in every direction, and escape no matter what direction they came from. From there i would spend most days as a fish in a river, so that they couldn’t tell me from the other fish, and spent a few days working out how they could possibly catch me, i even wove the first net, to try to think up a way to escape it should the gods manage to create one. This it turns out was my undoing, just as i finished the net, thor, mimir and couple of other gods came, so i tossed the net on the fire and fled to the stream and disguised myself as a salmon. Unfortunately, the net hadn’t fully burnt by the time they arrived, and Mimir was able to reconstruct it, and used it against me, i tried to escape, but they were relentless and before long i was caught. They brought me to this cave”

“Wait so what happened to your sons?” if you're at the cave in your story but your children still haven’t been mentioned?” asked Fliberwitz

“I will get to them soon” assured Loki “ as they were waiting in this very room with Sigyn as the gods dragged me down, upon seeing my family dread filled my entire being, it was one thing to condemn me for my actions, but to condemn my family like they did, they truly are the monsters.” a tear rolled down Loki’s cheek, he turned away to try to hide it. “First thor grabbed me and held me in place forcing me to watch what happened next. They used ancient magics to turn my beloved Narfi into a wolf and forced Sigyn and I to watch as he tore his brother Nari apart.” “That’s evil!” exclaimed Fliberwitz “how could they do such a thing?”

“It gets worse, they used Nari’s entrails to bind me to these rocks, and Skadi placed that serpent to drip its venom into my face for as long as i’m bound here. Then they used more magic to keep the snake in place and to turn the entrails to chain, and here i have been for millennia, trapped bound with the guts of my own son, with serpent venom dripping on my face, while my beloved wife is forced to stand silently and collect the venom in a bowl, that is the kindness of the gods, to condemn her to this life, so i have a short while where i am not in excruciating pain”

“Wow i honestly don't know what to say! The way they treated you was truly brutal. Thank you for sharing your story, confronting such painful memories can’t of been easy” Fliberwitz said as the venom reached the brim of the bowl, and began to trickle down once more.

“It looks like our session is about over, thank you Doctor Fliberwitz, i will see you soon”

“Goodbye Loki, thank you once again for your story” Fliberwitz began to leave as he left he thought he heard Loki say something, but as he turned to look back, the screaming began.

He began to make the long journey back up out of the earth his head was spinning, where the gods really such cruel villainous entities? Was Loki just a poor being lashing out after being treated unjustly for longer than humanity has existed? He felt sick at the idea, the further he got up the stairs the more he thought about it and the worse he felt, his palms started becoming sweaty, his heart was racing, his head was pounding. As he approached the exit, a wave of nausea hit. He felt his lunch come up, the world was spinning he tried to use the wall to help him make it the last few steps, which were already dangerously slippery without the vomit. As his foot hit the step, another wave of nausea hit, stronger than he had ever felt. With a short scream, he slipped and fell, the scream was short-lived, as his head cracked on a step, but momentum kept his body going, all the way to the bottom, to the chamber where Loki lay bound.

Loki smiled, his plan for vengeance against the gods could begin, his body may be chained but his mind was not, and now he had the perfect puppet.

[catboyrights]

Fluff, Network, and Yack for Tartuffe?

fluff:Critters, kids especially babies, and any combination of the two. This bitch just can't help but dote on both and I mean, like, look at end where he has three beautiful children he loves and more grandchildren than he could ever hope for PLUS fucking more pets than he can count that bitch is living in hog heaven!!! He isn't a sappy kind of feller but like you show him any combination of those and he's a goddamn useless puddle, let uncle tartuffe give you a wether's original.. i bet he would like cat videos....network:Depends on the AU, if he's courier he ceeates a network of people to use in a way while not keeping anyone close enough to know really anything of what's going on even if he'll open up his dumb as trap and accidentally let it all out to anyone. If he isn't he creates a reliable group of people to depend upon, builds a business out of people he can trust and rely upon not only in that but in his personal life and endeavors as well. Really gets a support system to help him not crash and burn as he would. Basically It Goes Both Ways.yack:Tartuffe can talk about most anyyhinf, but if you want him to fucking get into a rant you talk to him about anything rodeo/circus related first off. Listen to him start talking about the finer points of breeding and training show yao guai and then take a full turn to his days as a bull rider filled to the brim with absolute half-truths at least it will be gun. Next would be western novels, bad porno spoofs, the difference between country and western music, why his brand of cigarettes ate the only brand worth jt... this bitch just loves to chat and is dumb as fuck enjoy the ride baby!!!

[designamed-blog]

What's one (or more!) Servant that you think Laun would have good compatibility with for each class? They can be canon or OC Servants if you want... I hope this isn't asking too much so please take your time if you need it

PRETTY BOY COMPATIBILITY LIST COMIN’ RIGHT UP DEAR ONE

I’m gonna avoid the team mentioned on his about page in order to think of new lovelies.

[Rubs my grubby hands together]

SABER:

Gaius Julius, honestly. Laun would respect him and also be somewhat amazed by him -- not just by the history spoken and recorded, but by his actual manner: this man is both gentle, and conquering, kind, and a ruler. Such is admirable, to him. The fact that Laun has never had control over a single thing, not in his life, would admittedly put the two at odds to a degree: but it’s not as though Laun couldn’t learn a few things.

As for compatibility by challenge? Mordred. (Note I view Mor as trans male, and use he/they pronouns for him.) Mordred and Laun...have a good few similarities, but also would definitely, definitely fight over a lot of things. Laun doesn’t view him as bad, by any means: Laun simply wants to know why everything had to go as it did, why Mordred is so full of rage. He wants to know -- and that in itself would cause a conflict. Laun’s lack of “the world” in his thoughts...would cause conflict. I’d like that.

LANCER:

Our wonderful idol, Elizabeth Bathory! That is to say -- Laun would want to learn from her, from the “innocent” Elizabeth. Why do people view her as a monster? She seems no more monstrous than him: she has done nothing that can be proven, as well. He would also support her...musical endeavors...because he knows that to dream is important. To dream is to live, so she still lives. He’d admire her for it.

I have like 5 other Lancers but I don’t wanna yell about all of them so let’s just chuck Diarmuid and Li Shuwen onto this list and move on tbh.

ARCHER:

Alrighty, here we go, time for me to insert an OC...of my own. Here’s your quick history lesson: Doctor James Miranda Barry was a powerful-ass trans man and kind of a kickass dude anyways -- dueled and won a fucking lot, was a vegetarian, and went everywhere with his doggo named Psyche! He’s also the man who made Florence Nightingale into herself: he screamed at her from atop a horse about how patients were humans, not cases -- they were people, and until she treated them as such, he’d hound her. She...listened. That aside, I’m sticking good badass James in the Archer class (though he’s also Rider-summonable) because he’s the angry pep-talker Laun needs: sometimes, this kid does need yelling to understand, as much as he fears it.

Back to canon here with good ol’ Robin Hood. Laun would probably see him as a cool brother figure and would want to have lunch with him. 10/10 would fix him lunches and hold his hand. A solid, steady friendship.

RIDER:

Boudica, because a mom friend and a kid who likes being doted on is a good match? Also because she’s amazing at motivating and teaching people. He needs that. *He’s gonna get her some better clothes. Some mom-worthy clothes. She needs them. A nice, fluffy, long dress perhaps.) He’ll even let her ruffle his hair and smack him upside the head when he does something wrong.

Saint George! As someone fascinated by the outside world, Laun would definitely see George’s travel-stories as the embodiment of freedom: a thing he was never truly granted, a thing he longed for. This is someone who can teach him what the outside world was like, and someone he can run off recklessly to take photos with -- this is someone he can be free with.

CASTER:

Andersen. Oh god. Laun is...the embodiment of naivete at times, and Andersen can basically act as a damn good foil to it (though Laun might also try to curb Andersen’s bitterness). It wouldn’t disappoint Laun that Andersen is so cynical and bitter, but rather make him want to see if there’s a way to find the counters to it: he wants to see all sides of someone like that.

Paracelsus is dad now and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. @heavenchained / @loyaltylost is gonna get that one.

ASSASSIN:

Laun is adopting Jack the Ripper’s tiny self and also getting her the cutest clothes he can get his hands on. He’d want her to have family, to feel she can belong and live somewhere -- even if she’s the person that was hailed as a monster, even if she’s shed so much blood. She’s still something worth saving to him.

Kojirou??? Existential crisis buddies(tm) featuring existential validations from either party. But no, really, Laun would want to validate that Kojirou is a real person, because he’s himself -- the same way Laun has to remind himself of it.

BERSERKER:

Tamamo Cat is shaped like a friend and Laun would probably adore her, but insist she keep her clothes on. While he appreciates the Wifening(tm), he’d rather just be her friend and fluff her tail and cuddle with her.

Kiyohime. Though, she’d also be scary to him -- Laun would want to be by her side, as her friend and Master, because she’s someone who deserves affection and to be protected as she protects him. Scary dragon? Yeah. But he’d still try his best to be her friend.

__

Not technically adding Ruler/Avenger/etc but Jeanne...is good.