#the rest would be like wtf??? you’re not freaking out???

[kevinsdsy]

if trojans socmed!shawn would ever find out about jean’s backstory he’d be serious for like 3 seconds and then say this:

[reiding-writing]

could you pretty please write something where spencer visits unsub!reader and she’s incredibly beat up and only responding in slurs and spencer’s like wtf why has no one taken her to the doctor

THE GUARDS’ HEAVY HANDS

spencer & gn!unsub!reader | 1.3k | unsub!reader masterlist.

main masterlist.

a/n— unsub!reader is in remission babyyy

WARNINGS | reader has been on the receiving end of physical violence from prison guards without medical treatment.

Four days until the board of appeals made their decision.

Four days until you would know if you truly were going to spend the rest of your life inside a concrete box or be moved to a psychiatric facility and have your psychology picked and prodded at by doctors.

You’ve been ‘visited’ almost every day over the last week, half of your singular recreational hour spent talking to some stupid appeal board official every day for the last multiple days.

You were sick of it.

You knew that they were only bothering you in the hope you’d crack, that you’d say something that could condemn you to your solitary hell and save them the effort and money in placing you in proper psychiatric care.

But you refused to placate them. You refused to let your seething frustration manifest verbally or physically, no matter how much you wanted to.

Four days. That’s all you had to last.

They weren’t making it easy though. Of course they weren’t. Because why would anything in your life ever be easy?

No. Instead you were questioned on the same mundane topics over and over by the officials, dragged harshly from meeting to meeting by the guards, and subjected to torment whenever there was a minuscule break in the monotony.

Your most recent ‘accident’ involved one of the guards shutting the food hatch whilst you still had your hand in it.

‘Accident’, because it definitely wasn’t one, and now you were dealing with a fractured index finger on top of all of the other shit that is making you want to rip your hair out.

Although you couldn’t do that either, considering you had a sizeable bruise spreading over your left temple and onto the side of your head after you’d been pushed straight into one of the phone boxes as an encouragement for you to pick it up.

It was bordering a black eye a few days ago, a mulled purple mark that stretched through your eyebrow and mottled your eyelid, but it was slowly turning green, and it’d stopped hurting now. For the most part anyway.

No use crying over spilt milk. Or a possible concussion.

There’s a sharp bang on your cell door from the side of a fist to garner your attention, along with the grating metal on metal sound as the food hatch slides open.

“Up you get freak, you’ve got a visitor.”

Another stupid visitor.

Another half an hour spend enduring the most relentlessly idiotic questions and torment of your life that you literally had to bite your tongue to stop yourself replying to and dumping all of your progress down the drain.

“Oi!” Another sharp bang. “Didn’t you hear me? Get your ass up!”

“I’m coming—” You bite back the groan that threatens to echo in your tone, muttering a curse under your breath as you’re all but dragged from your cell and thrust down the corridor into the visitor’s room.

Every minute you spent sat at that stupid concrete table in those stupid handcuffs that were way too tight made you want to rip your own hair out, or anyone’s in a five metre radius.

Four days. Then you could forget about this damn appeal and give your ‘handlers’ a piece of your goddamn mind.

And then the door opens.

“Doctor Reid,” You almost sound surprised as you pick up the visitor’s phone. “What brings you here?”

Spencer adjusted his satchel, his gaze fixed on the table where you sat, hands cuffed, a rough bruise blooming along your cheekbone. There was a fresh cut on your lip, a bit of dried blood near the corner of your mouth. The sight made his stomach twist.

He sat down slowly, his brow knitting with concern as he took in the other injuries: your knuckles scraped raw, the angry red welts visible just beneath the collar of your prison jumpsuit.

He was used to violence, certainly, but seeing it on you, someone he considered something close to a… friend, or whatever it was, made him tense with anger.

You didn’t look at him any differently despite it all. When he met your gaze, your expression was flat. Detached, indifferent. He could still tell you’d been through hell though, and as much as he hated it, he hated it. "What happened?" he asked softly, voice barely above a whisper.

For a moment, you just blinked, and then that small sliver of intrigue disappears from your irises to be replaced with distaste.

You scoffed, muttering something under your breath that he couldn’t quite make out. It sounded like you were slurring, words broken, as if the energy it took to have a full conversation was almost too much.

Spencer leaned his elbows onto the table, his heart hammering. "Did they hurt you?" he asked. "The guards… have they been—?"

You interrupted with a barely audible sneer, tossing out a curse that barely registered as coherent. A string of profanity. You spat them out, each word slower and more incoherent than the last.

"Is anyone taking care of you here? Any doctors?" Reid asked, his voice filled with disbelief.

You laughed, a hollow sound that sent chills down his spine. "Doctors," you scoffed. "Sure. Lots of those. Right after the love they give with their fists."

Spencer's jaw clenched. "Has anyone done anything about this? Filed a complaint?"

Another empty laugh. “Who’s going to report them, huh? Me?” you muttered, the words broken by gasps of pain. “And who’s gonna do anything about it?”

The part of Spencer that had learned to remain neutral, clinical, started to unravel. This was wrong. Whatever you had done in your past, this treatment wasn’t justice; it was plain cruelty.

He glanced back toward the door, contemplating the confrontation he wanted to have with the prison staff. But he knew what would happen—they’d brush it off, say you were exaggerating, a troublemaker who’d gotten what you deserved. And maybe they’d even be right… but he couldn’t ignore the bruises, the hollow look in your eyes.

Spencer reached across the table, his fingers brushing the cold plexiglass between you in what’s an almost subconscious want to wipe the blood stain from your mouth. “I’ll see what I can do. I’ll try to get someone to check on you.”

You met his eyes again, expression clouded. He could see that behind the apathy, some tiny part of you was surprised. Maybe even grateful.

“Why do you even care?”

Spencer swallowed, the weight of the question settling over him. “I don’t know,” he admitted quietly, his voice tinged with sadness. “But I do.”

You watched him in silence, as if searching his face for a reason, an answer he couldn’t give. Then, a flicker of something softened your gaze—just for a moment, like the smallest fracture in a stone wall. You’d probably deny it later, but he saw it. A spark of relief, of trust, maybe.

He didn’t know if he’d ever get through to you, not completely. But he could try. And that would be enough.

“So, uh,” Spencer fiddles with the phone cord between his fingers. “How are you feeling, about the appeal?”

And you deflate all over again.

[venuslarkspur]

The Devildom’s Very Own Tamaranean Exchange Student <3

Summary: After escaping your planet after its hostile take over and your imprisonment, you resume life on earth living amongst humans. However you are unknowingly picked for an exchange program to strengthen relationships between different realms, because of your alien physiology; your arrival caused quite a stir.

- Demon Brothers x Fem!Tamaranean!Reader.

Note: Reader is Bi/Pan, Reader is tall as Tamaranean are canonically quite tall (sending love to all the tall folk you’ve reached your content <3 and sorrys to all the short folk but I’m sticking to Tamaranean physiology), Reader is about 5’9-6’0 I HAD TO USE Y/N I HATE MYSELF.

Warning: Mostly fluff but there’s some angst as well, slight NSFW.

—————————

Lucifer

- Can I just say first of all it annoys Lucifer especially that you’re not intimidated by him or any demon for that matter, you literally have laser vision, super strength, stamina, speed, agility etc. flight, star bolts..do I need to go on 😭?

- Is the first person to learn about your solar/ultra violet absorption which provides you with your power, your power is still mighty even from the Devildom. Is curious to know how powerful it would be in the celestial realm.

- Very confused on how one of Lilith’s earlier descendants somehow managed to land on Tamaran.

- You’re also really shocked when you realise you have human and angel dna.

- Does secretly enjoy when you retort back at him. Pretends it angers him.

- Thinks you’re a really good influence on Mammon oddly enough, sometimes questions if you’re the one looking after him.

- Has to remind you not to fly everywhere or levitate, you’re in the devildom now Mc.

- Absolutely loves watching you try and tame your glowing, fiery hair.

- Secretly love’s your little fireworks shows from your hands.

- Lectures his brothers when they offer kisses to you to help you “expand your vocabulary” although he will ask for one himself later.

- Tries his best not to bring back any tragic memories of your imprisonment.

- Finds your random love attacks surprising but eventually begins to enjoy them.

Mammon

- Spawns in and takes one look at you and is stunned 😦

- You always gently remind Mammon that he isn’t rocking your shit any day now. He pretends to get annoyed at you when you remind him this. (It makes him like you more pft)

- Mammon dies down on the threatening when he first meets you and you immediately match his stance and stand up straight. You’re nearly taller than him wtf. He constantly emphasises he’s your first, you not really getting it straight up say “no you aren’t, I had lovers on Tamaran and on Earth.” Literally sends the rest of his brothers into a laughing spiral and you are wondering what’s so funny. It doesn’t matter you’re still HIS alien.

- jokingly asks you if you have 9 stomachs, since your hunger is almost as bad as Beels at this point and you reply with a serious “yes.” Satan explains to him, putting his book down on the table; (after studying your physiology) that Tamaranean’s have 9 stomachs. He jolts backwards slightly which offends you until he finds some odd way to let you know he’s sorry.

- me and my friend were talking about how Mammon is secretly really insecure so I think reader would beat the negative thoughts out of him on the daily, you can tell when he’s jealous or upset.

- Brags about how strong you are even though he was kind of freaked out at first.

- Now as much as I hate this term, you wear the pants in this relationship. Witches have started to leave him alone because they know you will star bolt them if needed, it doesn’t matter to him that you ward off these people though he just wants you tbh.

- Loves how empathetic you are but knows you can go from kind to brutal if you need to.

- Okay when you first met he was not so secretly flustered at your choice of clothes so you gently remind him of his demon forms lack of cloth. Yeah he’s shut up really quick.

- Love’s your fiery hair, especially when he gets to watch you brush it out.

- Acts like your eyes are freakish but he secretly loves your green alien eyes <3

- Anytime he has to come to YOUR rescue he reminds you he’s the “Great Mammon” and that’s “just his job” yeah you’re gonna be chucking him over your shoulder later.

- Love’s your levitating kisses.

Leviathan

- At first thinks your sweet nature is just an act after you try and fight him back after the TSL quiz incident.

- Kind of scared of you after that, even when you try and talk to him, he walks away.

- Slowly warms up to you, quite literally your warm body attracts him.

- If you go to any conventions together and you wear heels he will definitely LOVE that you’re taller than him, he finds it so attractive I’m sorry.

- The definition of girlboss + loser boyfriend <3

- Is so confused on how another one of Lilith’s descendants ended up on Tamaran.

- Asks about customs on Tamaran and would follow it up with “its like the planet from this anime-“

- Finds your food combos mildly disgusting (I mean even for the devildom that’s messed up.) but keeps his mouth shut.

- You made little fireworks out your hands once and that was enough for him to fall for you.

Satan

- Wow, I think Satan would be so interested in your Tamaranean physiology, he makes it his mission to learn more about you; it’s nice to have someone be interested in you rather than fear you for a change.

- Probably discovers things about you that you didn’t know.

- If you two start dating Satan definitely wouldn’t care if you were taller than him or not.

- when he finds out you can learn languages through kissing he’d definitely tell you he knows a bit of French or smth if you’re interested. (Even if you’re not dating yet 😭) he’s defo sly like that.

- Would ask if you’ve ever thought of returning to Tamaran and as much as you would like to you know it’s not safe for you, you both bond over feeling out of place.

- Loves your warm nature since it’s such a 180 to his behaviour, you use your warm hands to calm him down.

- If he’s reading and has left a hot drink you tell him to sit back down and let you handle it, you use your laser vision to heat up his drink and he’s just like damn. Yeah he loves your powers.

- You guys talk about exploring the cosmos together, since when you came to earth you didn’t really get the chance to from your speeding space ship.

- Will disassemble anyone at RAD if they make fun of you for whatever reason, you’re the one who’s gotta tell him no <3

Asmodeus

- Asmo however loves that you’re taller than him and he openly voices it all the time. He follows all your socials since you’re a model in the human world, he eventually admits you’re almost on par with his beauty.

- Like Satan he’d definitely tell you he knows a bit of Italian or smth just so he can get a kiss from you.

- I tried to avoid this as much as possible but your bedroom life would be crazy. Like he’s the Avatar Of Lust?! You’re an alien with promiscuity literally written into you. I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO CONTINUE 😭

- Would ask if you’re a princess until you seriously tell him your planet already had royalty.

- Immediately sets you up for all the devildom’s social media, you’re so well loved and received in the devildom which is such a contrast to how people first reacted to you on earth.

- Is a bit jealous of your flaming hair but you remind him he’s the fairest in the land.

- Yeah you’re a head turning couple.

- Would say you’d have the cutest kids as a joke but you think he’s serious.

- Needs to see how radiant you look with the sun on you.

- Makes so many jokes about your cloth or lack of cloth, but will stop if it’s making you uncomfortable.

- He loves how eye catching you are, like your vibrant eyes, hair and dress mwah 💋, thinks you have some of the best style ever and always lets you know on your socials.

Beel

- Your immediately in Beel’s good books when you help free his twin, you already were with your shared gluttony so he liked you immediately. You really respect Beel as he’s one of the first you’ve met that’s stronger than you.

- Unlike the rest of his brothers he wouldn’t offer you a kiss, (he’s not weird like that) but would ask you about your 9 stomachs and fiery hair.

- Doesn’t mind your manner of dress, even if Asmo points it out and makes some suggestive comments he won’t pay any mind to it.

- Out of pure innocence you feel his muscles out of curiosity.

- He’s not sure why but he loves just touching your fiery hair, you give him permission ofc <3

- Unironically you’re his favourite snack buddy.

- Also wonders if Mammon is the one looking after you or you’re the one looking after Mammon.

- Is also very curious about Tamaran, feels really bad for the rest of the day when you tell him about your planets plague of war and your imprisonment. You let him know it’s okay and you’re fine now <3

Belphegor

- In this scenario Belphegor wouldn’t kill you, since you aren’t human. He does try and manipulate you still but you sense the deceit coming off him. You refuse to help him at first; but in this case scenario you��d still help free him and actually start off on more neutral terms.

- Belphie definitely naps on you more because of your abnormally hot body temperature, idk but he definitely likes that you’re taller than him I think he’s a freak like that even if you’re not together.

- Since you’re freakishly strong you probably just bridal carry him places he needs to be, he thanks you after.

- Could watch you make mini fireworks out your hands for hours, the sound of your sparks is oddly soothing.

- When he asks if you want him to bring you a star you’re really excited at first and he feels bad crushing your spirit, you ask him if he wants a star though. He can’t tell if you’re serious or not.

- Contrary to popular belief I think Belphie actually does like PDA sometimes, he likes holding your hand wherever. It’s warm.

- Could watch you untangle your hair for hours on end and never get bored.

- You probably change his opinion on humans slightly, not only because of your human DNA but because of your own opinions on humanity; yes you were mistreated at first but slowly you met a couple good ones. He believes you, if you were able to overcome your abuse via humanity, so could he. He won’t tell you that though.

- He looks forward to when you’re alone because he knows that’s when you strike with your love attacks.

——————-

And that’s Fem!Tamaranean reader <3

Side characters are in the works now <3

@waterwyne @planetlotus @girlmachia @fiersworld

[warping-realities]

Familly Group Chat

Written version of my last video. At some point I'll make one of the first one too! Hope you like it!

Michael was one of the many “middle kids” of John and Louise Bennet; in fact, he was the 4th of 7, just a few minutes younger than his twin brother, Tobias, with whom he shared that typical inscrutable and unexplainable bond that only twins have. Even though the relationship among all seven Bennet boys was super strong, having been raised under the strict rules of the holy Catholic Church by their parents, they were all scattered across the country, so the only way to keep in touch was through the family group chat on an app. That morning, the 23-year-old blonde man, skinny but toned from constant running, had just finished taking a hot shower and putting on his favorite pair of skinny black jeans, which his modern startup job not only accept but even endorsed as part of the dress code. He was about to start brushing his teeth when a new message notification popped up on his phone.

“Message from Tobias, here we go…” he muttered to himself, knowing his twin would only send a message at that hour if it was to roast someone. And sure enough!

“Hey bro, did you see the good morning message Mom posted in the family group?”

“Not yet, man.”

“Well, brace yourself! I have no idea where she finds this stuff!”

As he opened the family group while heading to the kitchen to make his usual black coffee, Michael couldn’t help but chuckle at the cheesiness of the good morning image Mom had sent.

“Dude, do all moms have a group to share this crap?” he typed to his brother in the private chat.

“Has to be! But you better reply, you know how she gets… soon she’ll be whining about how she raised seven ungrateful kids or some nonsense,” Tobias replied. Thinking about that, Michael rushed to respond to their mom. Louise was really kinda needy now that only the youngest still lived with her. However, when he opened the family group, he couldn't help but laugh out loud at the reply Tobias had sent—an even tackier image than the one their mom sent.

“Dude, you’re the worst! Where the hell did you find that image to reply to her?” he shot back to his brother.

“Well, maybe I’m in the mom’s group!” He replied before sending something completely different. “Hey, what’s going on? Someone saved as Dad 0.2 just join the group. What the hell is this?”

Hurrying to check that message, Michael quickly opened the family group and was shocked to see an unknown person had joined, which shouldn’t be possible without an access link or an invite from one of the group admins, their parents. The private convo that followed between the brothers was frantic and freaked out.

“Dad 0.2 removed Mom from the group… what’s going on?”

“I don’t know… how does someone just waltz into a private group and kick someone out???”

“Dad 0.2 changed the group name from Bennet Family to Bradley Boys! What the hell is this?”

“He’s sending a video, what’s happening???”

“I don’t know, bro, let’s just open it and see.”

The video showed a dude in his forties, but he looked really good for his age, easily passing for someone younger if it weren't for the crow's feet around his eyes that showed he was used to smiling, and his extremely muscular physique screamed years of hardcore workouts. With light brown hair and a well-groomed beard, he was rocking just a pair of sweats that showcased his powerful muscles in a spacious but Spartan room, with minimal furniture or decor.

“Alright, guys, it’s time to send our good morning videos! Who’s next? How about you, Jeff? I’m dying to rest my head on those muscle pillows of yours, babe!” the stranger said, flexing his arms.

“WTF?? You seeing what I’m seeing, Tobias? And who the hell is Jeff?” Michael quickly texted back to his brother.

“I have no clue, man, this is so weird… wait a sec… Dad 0.1 just sent a video, what the hell is this?”

“I think we better check it out…” Michael shot back before opening the video from the contact that also showed up for him as Dad 0.1.

“I’m dying to see you too, Buck! Counting the seconds until you’re back, babe. The bed feels empty without you here! Who’s next? How about our firstborn? It’s on you, Wyatt!” That was impossible; the face on the screen was undeniably their dad, but he had gained a solid 50 pounds of muscle and lost a good amount of fat. Not to mention the carpet of hair that now covered his formerly smooth chest.

“Is that really Dad? No way… how?” Tobias sent back.

“I don’t know, man! This is so bizarre… how did he bulk up so much… it doesn’t make sense… and who the hell is Wyatt?”

“He mentioned firstborn… but no… that can’t be…” Tobias typed before they both received another notification. Upon opening the video, they were in for another surprise.

“Hey there, bros! Ready for a new day? I’m already warming up waiting for my workout buddy—where you at, Maverick, little bro?” said the muscular dude, barely in his thirties, dressed all in black and flexing in a gym locker room.

“Dude… that’s Will!!! But he’s never set foot in a gym,” Michael texted Tobias. William, the oldest of the bunch, was about to turn thirty, and he had the chubby physique of an accountant used to long hours behind a desk, drinking coffee and munching on donuts—that was literally his life… or should be. But if there was anything that video showed, it was that Wyatt had never put a single sweet in his mouth.

“I don’t even know what to say… but there’s more coming!” Tobias replied, apparently just as stunned. As the new video arrived, they rushed to look.

“Ha! I’ve already left you in the dust, Wyatt! Looks like the baby bro is now the big bro! Don’t take too long, or I’ll be late for school, and my coach is gonna flip, right, Griff?”

“Dude, that’s Martin on steroids! That kid looks like he’s tripled in size! Is this some kind of prank? Some deep fake?” he asked in shock. Martin, the youngest, was already a more athletic kid, being on the wrestling team, but with that size, he’d be better suited for the offensive line on a football team, if he wasn’t already too big for that, and who the hell was this coach he was talking about?

“Michael, I’m just as lost as you. But it looks like this isn’t stopping…” Tobias commented as another video popped up in the group.

“You’re gonna have to do a ton of push-ups for not calling me Coach Bradley, kid! No Griff or Griffin while I’m your trainer! And if you’re late for school, it’ll be suicide day! Speaking of late, where the hell are you, Chase? Bet you left Hunter hanging at the beach.”

“Tobias, that’s Gordon! How the hell is he a coach? He’s a math teacher!” Michael texted in disbelief, seeing their second oldest brother looking way older than he should, with thinning hair as if he had been overdoing the steroids, which seemed totally possible, he thought, seeing the massive bodybuilder rocking just boxer briefs and a tight tank top, flexing his powerful muscles in some dimly lit room.

“Tobias? Tobias? Damn… there’s more coming!” Michael texted anxiously as he opened the next video.

“Ha, you know me too well, bro, but The Chaser is on the scene, Hunt’s got to face me!” That was Carl, but just like the other family members, he had gone through a transformation that left him almost unrecognizable. He had turned into a mountain of muscles covered by a thin layer of bronzed skin, clad only in a tiny yellow short, shades, and a backwards cap. Sitting in a car, flexing his muscles and grinning. Michael didn’t even have time to send a new outraged message to Tobias when another video came in.

“Too bad I’m already way ahead in my workout, little bro! You sure you want to take me on? Hehehe. Speaking of challenges, which twin’s gonna fire the next shot? Trey or Micah?” said the bronzed, muscular dude sporting Hugh’s modified look, the brother just below the twins in age. Watching this, Michael’s shock wore off, and he resumed chatting with his twin.

“What the hell is going on??? What are they doing at the beach? They should be in college!” But the reply didn’t come. Worried, he called out for his brother.

“Tobias? Tobias?”

“Who the fuck is Tobias, bro? I’m already sending my video, Micah! Big T is once again taking the lead! At least The Grand Finale is all yours!” was the twin response.

“Tobias, you guys must be messing with me!” Michael sent before opening the family group, where his brother had just sent another video.

“Trey here, leaving the little twin eating dust as always. And like always, I can’t tell what’s more badass, the view from my window or the sight the girls get when they check out my bod! What do you say, Micah, who’s used to seeing pretty much the same thing when you look in the mirror?” said the guy who in no way could be his twin brother, while grinning and showing off his muscular physique in front of his sunny apartment window. Totally lost, Michael sent a message to him.

“Tobias… Trey… I’m not doing any of this, this is insane!” he sent without realizing that autocorrect had changed his brother’s name.

“Dude, we’ve been doing this for years! It’s a Bradley tradition, what’s the problem now? You know how our das freak if we don’t join in. One of them is gonna call you if you don’t send it soon!” he replied. And Michael didn’t even have time to formulate a response to that new absurdity.

“Crap, video call from Dad 0.1,” he muttered to himself, refusing to pick up. But it seemed his phone had a mind of its own because the altered version of his dad popped up on his screen without permission.

“Micah, your dad is far away and wants a video from his boys. Trey just told me you don’t want to do it. What’s the harm in sending it? All your brothers already have, don’t be a buzzkill,” said the man with a serious and slightly disappointed expression.

“Dad, I… what the hell?” Michael started to respond, only to be cut off by the sudden entrance of a third person in the call. How was this possible? How was all this even real???

“Chill out, Jeff! I think Micah’s scared of looking like a weakling in front of his brothers.” It was the guy from the other video, grinning and crossing his arms while looking at Michael with a mischievous glint in his eye.

“What??? I… no… weakling!” For some reason, that challenge sparked something inside him, a primal urge to show what he was capable of, and even more, to show that man what he could do. He wanted… no, he needed to prove himself to that man. Show one of the most important people in his life that he wasn’t some weakling!

“You’re gonna see who the weakling is, Dad!” Micah shot back with a grin before sending his own video.

“Last of the Bradley boys here, you bunch of exhibitionists!” he said, shyly smiling. Unlike his brothers he didn't like to show off his physique without a greater purpose, he kept hitting the gym for the joy it always brought him, mainly because it was something that connected all the brothers and their two dads. The boys didn’t know who was whose dad, and to them that didn’t matter one bit. The Bradley boys were a united front; even though each had their own place, they all worked together at the gym their fathers had founded many years ago, even those who had other jobs like Griff or were still finishing school like Maverick. Even when it came time for college, they preferred to stick around instead of crossing the country, which was why Hunter and Chase still lived with their fathers. Their upbringing had been liberal, but there were still well-established boundaries of respect. Even though a much greater degree of freedom was present now that they were all adults, provocative acts had become more common, with the guys and their parents occasionally sending more explicit videos. In fact, the bond among them was so strong that whenever one of them was away for some reason, it had become family tradition to send those good morning videos.

“We’re looking forward to your return, Dad!” he said in the group, joined by his brothers and other father. They were answered by Buck, affectionately known by all as Dad 0.2.

“I’ll be back this weekend, boys, and I want the whole family together! But until then, at least we’ll have our little moments every morning. To wrap it up, here’s one last video from me for you to think of me as much as I think of you!” he said, winking and provocatively massaging his pecs.

“Come on, Dad! We don’t need this at this time of the morning,” was the response from his sons, even though they were all exactly the same kind of man as Buck Bradley.

[star-girl69]

imagine the little family but reader gets hit on by one of the new campers and the rest of the camp is waiting to see ivy and clarisse reaction 🌚

I LOVE THIS OMMGGGGGG

no bc this is specifically so funny and dear to me bc imagine

you’re like sitting with ivy and playing in the sand on the beach having a fun time

and then hi harry from better than revenge in an alternate universe

clarisse has been so busy lately bc it’s the start of summer and there’s all these new campers and things

so you haven’t been around each other as much 💔

dumbass harry walks over to you and is like “it’s so sweet how you treat your younger sibling like your own”

and ivy is preening at the attention of this nice boy who quickly realizes the way to your heart is through ivy

you just think he’s nice and playing with ivy in the sand and making a killer sand castle tbh….

then he says smth a little flirty like a compliment but neither you or ivy think much of it at first

then he’s like “oh hey here you have some sand on your face” and leans so close to you to brush your cheek with his thumb

woah buddy 😟😟😟😟😟

ivy is like ok what the freak (she’s not supposed to swear) (let’s be real she still does)

bc like she’s not dumb….. she knows the only person who touches you like this is clarisse and yeah this guy is nice but she doesn’t like him THAT much

he doesn’t look that strong he can’t be her jungle gym she’s not liking it

you’re sitting there in shock and ivy is getting mad bc HE SHUFFLES CLOSER TO YOU

she climbs into your lap and starts SCREAMING bloody murder and kicking out wildly at harry

“Y/N I WANT TO GO Y/N I WANT TO GO I WANT TO GO I WANT TO GO”

so you pick her up and rush your little butts out of there and harry is trying to follow you bc THIS BITCH WILL NOT GIVE UP DAMN

and you’re looking over your shoulder like GO AWAY

after another second you think he’s gone so you set ivy down

you crouch down and you’re pretty sure she just didn’t like harry flirting w you but you just wanna make sure smth wasn’t actually wrong

“hey are you guys okay?”

“RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” is ivy’s war cry as she jumps on top of harry and starts screaming and kicking and hitting him

AND YOURE SCREAMING TOO BC WTF??????

“IVY YOU GET DOWN RIGHT NOW NO DESSERT FOR THREE DAYS I SWEAR”

eventually everyone kinda heads towards the commotion of this 10 year old screaming and attacking harry and you desperately trying to pull ivy off of him

that is when clarisse walks over

she just stares at the scene for a second in absolute shock

then harry finally pushes ivy off of him and she FLIES into you like he pushed her HARD bc he’s a BITCH

and you weren’t expecting it so you fall back w ivy in your arms

CLARISSE IS ABOUT TO GO INSANE

she runs over but harry is like NO NO NO MY CHANCES ARE RUINED

so he’s desperately trying to help you up and you’re like oh my god i think i’m gonna die

ivy starts attacking him like a feral dog again

“YOU- HURT- MY- Y/N- STUPID HEAD!!!!!!!”

you need a leash for her atp

but by the time clarisse makes it over to you she realizes what’s going on

she crouches down next to you and says ivy’s name really intimidatingly and ivy is like

“OMG HI CLARISSE I LITERALLY SAVED Y/N’S LIFE ARENT YOU PROUD OF ME”

and after she looks over you and sees that your find just a little shocked and very tired (motherhood is hard) she decides to glare at harry

“okay and what does that mean?”

“ok so we were playing in the sand and then harry comes over and he’s nice and he’s helping me build my sandcastle and then he starts TOUCHING Y/N and getting all CLOSE TO HER and i was like woah wait hold on what the freak so then i threw a tantrum so we would leave BUT HE KEPT FOLLOWING!!!!!!! I JUST WANTED HIM TO GO AWAY BC YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO TOUCHES Y/N LIKE THAT SO I ATTACKED HIM AND THEN HE PUSHED ME SO I ATTACKED HIM MORE BUT NOW YOURE HERE!!!!!!”

harry is just horrified bc that’s exactly what happened this child was just throwing a tantrum 5 minutes ago how is she so articulated

she’s just smart like that tho

clarisse is like “oh so you’re flirting with my girlfriend? are you dumb? literally everyone knows.”

harry just accepts defeat and mutters a few choice words under his breath and walks away

clarisse debates about punching him but decides that ivy has already done all of the work for her

ivy hugs clarisse so tight

“you are so amazing my little warrior you did such a great job protecting y/n i am so proud”

then you join the hug “yes you’re my little knight in shining armor but please remember violence is not always the answer”

ivy and clarisse share a look like “this crazy lady just be saying stuff”

“EXCUSE ME???? BC I KNOW YOU TWO DIDNT JUST LOOK AT EACH OTHER LIKE THAT-”

you try to actually make ivy skip dessert for a few days but she’s so adorable so you give it to her anyways

clarisse teaches her how to properly throw a punch and kick someone

you are not pleased

ivy is ecstatic her new passion is fighting

harry stays far away from you

also percy is now campaigning to bring awareness to the clarisse and mini clarisse epidemic

he is very concerned.

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex

[artsninspo]

Alright, so here’s what I got. I was thinking something along the lines of Rio coming home injured; bruises, cuts, blood… you name it. That somehow freaked her out and sent her spiraling and thinking of the worst case scenarios possible. She’s trying to hide how shaken she is from him; they go to bed and all is fine… or so he thought. He leaves for work, and our girl got to work gathering necessities and fleeing the scene. He comes home finding a letter on the nightstand talking about some “I am sorry Chris. I can’t do this anymore. I am done. Please don’t come find me.” Now his nostrils are flaring because wtf do you mean you you done? Don’t come find you? Find you he will. Rio being Rio, obviously he knows exactly where you’re at, and so cue the unannounced visit😯

The confrontation is ROUGH!! She’s screaming about “I can’t live with the thought of getting that knock on the door to go identify your body.” And he’s yelling “that’s all it takes? (However many years they’ve been together, I am thinking a decade or close to it) a little bruises and blood is all it takes to send you running?” “I thought you were in it for life, you and me.” She’s screaming back “how can I be in it for life if I can’t even be sure you’ll come back alive when you walk out the door” “I CAN’T LIVE WITH THAT CHRIS” oooooooo I am shivering as we speak because chiiiiiile. And I leave the rest to the master that is your mind!

*Notes* I am thinking this takes place earlier in his gangster days, like when he started making it to the top so things started to get a lot more gruesome than when it was when he just started out with this lifestyle (which is what she was used to)

「 ✦ full library & archive ✦ 」

: ̗̀➛ rio's library - good girl nbc

drabbles written by my readers, finished by me ↓

suddenly the weight of her words hit him, it wasn't living, not like this. he was leaving her with pieces of him. the pain in her eyes was palpable. somehow he'd missed it. he'd missed so much. there had to have been signs of her discontentment and fear. rio recalls you sitting on the counter cleaning his cut brow, the result of a scuffle through sniffles.

putting himself in your shoes rio considers how much it would hurt to see you cut and bleeding. how much it would kill him to wait at home for you while your phone was off and there was nothing he could track. the nightmare is plain as day now. his heart seizes before racing fast and sending a shooting ache through his chest. hurt eyes find yours and for the first time there's mutual understanding. you swallow hard feeling seen and heard for the first time since your life with rio started swirling the drain. he could see now you didn't deserve this. any of it.

"I'm sorry" he apologizes swallowing his pride.

"I know and I'm not leaving because I don't love you" you whisper as tears stream. your voice is raw from the tears and arguing.

"I know and I love you too" rio says and you swallow - grown enough to know while its the truth, it isn't enough.

"I know" you nod and he fishes out the locket from under your shirt. in it is a photo from your first date; senior prom. It would never be fair of him to ask you to stay when you've signed up for none of what his lifestyle has become. "Call me when you need me, we can date again when its safe if thats something you want to do" you whisper effectively ending the relationship.

rio swallows as resentment wells, he would never be able to initiate a break-up regardless of how much sense you were making. he would never voluntarily quit you and he wouldnt if the thought of you catching a stray meant for him or being used as a means to get under his skin is the reason he steps back. protecting you is the only form of love he can offer you now. "ok" he relents after a long silence.

he watches as you blink and tears fall. the nail is in the coffin. you wipe your eyes as sadness swells. his lips find yours in a farewell betraying all the promises of forevers you've exchanged since adolescence that can no longer be actualized. you have to protect your heart and while he's living wild it means protecting yourself and putting distance between you and him.

fin

___________

ok, wait so how old do you guys think rio is in the show? I'm thinking he's like mid thirties like 35 ish. he's been married before and has a kid. i feel like nick is slightly older than him like early 38- 40's. idk.

tags: @meadows5 @wnbweasley @becauseimher @ariiaeltheedonn @woahthatshitfat @miniaturehideoutmentality @kokobells @ffenthusiastt @sowhatariyana @1xtral1983 @theegoddessofmelanin @fictionalreads @roxytheimmortal

[dreamerinthemoonlight]

Spring Date HCS (Kaeya, Diluc, Albedo)

I always love it when spring finally comes around. Even though the grass where I live is almost perpetually green (like wtf??!! How can it be freaking Christmas and some of the grass is green?!!!), I love seeing the trees start to bud out. And the sun. Having the sun out more is nice too

Under the cuts, spring dates with Kaeya, Diluc,  and Albedo

GN reader

cw: slight mention of after hours fun. Not much because that’s a different set off head canons entirely, but it’s there

Kaeya

His first suggestion was to go drinking

Of course the answer was no, not happening

So instead you’re walking around on the Mondstadt version of a mall date

Kaeya seems like he’s the type who looooves PDA, so he’s always holding your hand

Or maybe you’re holding his hand because he’s definitely the type to tease you with little touches that are designed to turn the date very R18 by the end of the day

To be fair, he really doesn’t have to try that hard

He’s hot and charming and he uses it to full effect

In the evening you two climb up venti’s statue (Kaeya is a charmer and will happily go the extra mile. Probably made you a pretty staircase else style to get up there too hehe)

You sit and he pulls you closer so that your head rests against his chest

And the two of you want the sunset from the best seats in city

Diluc

Have you seen this man’s voice lines?

The guy is sweet as hell (10/10 would date)

He picked you up, right on time and had roses waiting. Really nice ones because he can definitely afford them

Instead of staying in the city, you two went out on horse back

Brought a picnic lunch

But most of the time is spent riding and talking. Or riding and not talking. 

The both of you are just happy to have a day off with no real itinerary

Just let the wind lead

So around lunch time you guys find a nice spot-- preferably slime free, but Diluc doesn’t have any problems clearing a spot for you if the spot is nice enough’

You eat lunch and continue just handing out

Really date day is the day that both of you can just be you

You watch the sunset while you’re out

And when you get back into the city he walks you to your door, gives you a goodbye kiss that might turn into more but shhh

Albedo

Last but not least

Our favorite Mondstadt nerd

It’s not on Dragonspine

You put your foot down on that one. No freezing on a spring date

You also handed off Klee to Kaeya archons save us all so the two of you have time alone

I’d say it’s a work date, because his work is basically being as curious as possible, but really, his focus is on you

He can’t stop being curious

But he’ll spend the entire time studying you, figuring out what makes you laugh and smile and then work on doing those things

He seems like the kind who remembers all of the small stuff

If you told him your favorite flower, that’s what he brings you when he picks you up or greets you at the foot of Dragonspine

After that you go exploring

Not unlike with Diluc, but with Albedo your wandering has a distinct purpose

For some reason the desire to know is just there when you’re around Albedo

Not that you’ll complain, not when his attention is on you

If your hair is in your face, he’ll tuck it behind your ear, letting his fingers linger on the edge, feeling the skin only he gets to feel and feeling a certain amount of satisfaction that your his

Even if he doesn’t talk much, he listens. He’ll respond when need be, but he really does love to listen

While you’re out, you eat a picnic lunch he packed and then continue walking around

Instead of taking you home that night, he brings you up to his cave in Dragonspine

It wouldn’t be the first night you’ve spent there and it beats the noise of Mondstadt city in the spring

And there’s no one to hear if you decide the two of you want to do some more intimate experimentation

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

HCs: Spot meeting a Spidey!Reader who takes him seriously as a villain

Been having brainrot for Spot lately and thought that he deserved something nice,,like a Spiderman who’s like “bro my bad guys are boring but you’re really cool” and so this happened-

First time writing him, but hope y'all enjoy!

......

Spot’s first fight with Miles only made him feel like one thing..

A loser. An unworthy opponent. A mere “villain of the week”.

It’s downright humiliating knowing that the Spiderman who (intentionally or not) was the catalyst of the collider accident that turned him into this freak..didn’t seem to take him seriously anymore.

So he goes to hide in another universe for sometime, questioning wtf he’s doing and if anyone in this vast multiverse will see him for what he is--a real villain and a real threat.

Then he overhears on a police officer’s radio chatter that a spider person was several blocks away, stopping a robbery. 

He sees this as his chance to shine and throws on a sloppy disguise.

And he arrives just you have already apprehended the crooks, all four of them webbed up as the store owner shakes your hand, expressing immense gratitude for saving her small business.

“I get it..living’s hard enough around here. I just do what I can to make it easier for folks.” You smile behind your mask.

Then Spot leaps out of hiding, demanding to know where the safe is.

The store owner looks at him, rolling her eyes like “oh boy, another villain for you, kid.”

Immediately, he’s pissed off.

Just “another” villain???

He would have damn near sent this mean lady through a hole and not care where she went had you not intervened.

“Woah, woah, woah...okay..you’re actually the coolest villain I’ve seen yet! I-If that’s what you are. Are you a villain or do you consider yourself one because I don’t wanna be rude-”

He’s thrown off by the questions, and your compliment. He's tripping over his own words.

“Yes. I uh..think so..? Now will you let me rob this store or-?”

“Not a chance, bud.”

And so the fight begins, branching all across the city as webs are swinging and holes are being thrown.

Judging from your voice, you sounded no older than Miles..and yet here you are actually engaging in the fight instead of texting on your phone and brushing off his attacks, not treating him like a nuisance to get rid of.

It genuinely made Spot emotional when you’re throwing hands on the rooftops and he makes you punch yourself in the face..to which you say “WOW that’s pretty amazing ngl”.

He’s glad he can’t really cry anymore but his voice stays high-pitched and wobbly during the rest of the fight and you even pause to say “are you okay, man?”

He just feels so validated here.

Even as you defeat him and web him up for the cops, he escapes back to his dimension, still wanting his revenge.

But from time to time, he’ll return to yours and demand a “rematch”, with you being more than happy to oblige.

[sapphicdib]

Iterator yapping?

Okay I personally enjoy on-the-string iterators because I like the things ppl come up with to get around the isolation being an immobile building brings, not to mention I deadass don’t think their puppets have enough strength in their bodies to actually lift themselves if they aren’t in anti-grav. Them legs are NOT made for walkin. HOWEVER I do think off-the-string shit is still interesting. Like Moon canonically is off-the-string, but she’s still bound to her structure via the mechanical arm, which I feel like still gives her at least some awareness of the rest of her body. But losing all that? Compressing an entire iterator into the tiny, tiny doll at the heart of its structure? I can only imagine what kinda shit that does to them.

Tbh if iterators did figure out how to de-string themselves, it would be a massive sacrifice. I could honestly see some reacting to the idea the same way as they’d react to Sig and Pebbles’ whole plan in the rot au, like “wtf do you mean get out of your can, you ARE your can!” You’re basically chopping off your arm and asking it to continue moving. You’re losing a huge part of yourself, is it even you anymore? (Ironically, Rot Au Sig is very content being on-the-string, simply wanting freedom in the form of free will rather than mobility). Like, the toss up between touching grass vs keeping your memories, yeesh.

The other thing too: Moon’s structure continues to… “live” even once her puppet is ascended. The gravity fluctuations happen still, hell, pieces of Pebbles’ structure still produce heat and appear to be working (term used VERY loosely) despite the fact his puppet and consciousness are on the brink of death. So does that mean if you de-stringed an iterator, would their structure be a separate entity? Does the puppet just carry the personality and mannerisms, or does the processing strata have some say in it? Does an abandoned structure still iterate and ponder despite its communication organ being removed, leaving it silenced? I might just be completely shooting in the dark here, but it always left a bad feeling in my stomach when Pebbles and Moon were ascended and yet their structures still continued to act as they always had.

God iterators are fucked. Anyways! Off the string aus are based and cool but I wish people would lean into the whole “bro you basically lobotomized yourself” angle of it, at least a little. ALSO i feel like every so often they’d would freak the fuck out because OPEN AIR THIS IS NOT WHERE WE ARE MEANT TO BE— before the like, 7 neurons they carry around manage to process “oh, right, we’re fine.”

(also i’m using tupperbot here i do NOT fuck w stupid ai character shit) but bonus sig opinions on things:

my god is the dude bad at wording things, LMAO)

[literaila]

Hey you! <3 I’ve been wanting to send an ask but sending them even in anon gives me anxiety. I’m sorry that I finally got the courage to at possibly the worst moment but Idk when the next time will be.

Idk if it’s just me but that one ending comedy short when Gojo and his students were freaking out about Megumi being seen with a girl, I liked the goofiness of it but mostly hated how they portrayed Satoru as creep. Idk if that was in the manga but whoever green-lit that, wtf 😬 that’s just me. I was just hoping you could rewrite it including reader from TF and however she would react. I can imagine Satoru trying to ruin it but oc is holding him back. Or whatever you can come up with, I’m not creative as you lmao. Sorry if this is too long.

Hoping for a speedy recovery ❤️‍🩹

(PLEASE never fear me and my inbox we are very open and bored constantly. send me a hate anon even!!! i will be inevitably entertained!!)

so i thought about it for… couple hours. and honestly—i can’t see the scenario really playing out if reader were there because she would want to go with megumi wherever he wandered off to… unlike satoru and nobara who are discouraged by the heat

but…

you’re not watching anything, really.

if you’re standing ten feet away from yuji and megumi while they look at some kiosks with ridiculous accessories and good luck charms—the sorts of things that megumi would never buy (you know because anytime satoru picks him out something of the sort you find it in tsumiki’s room a few days later)—then it’s just because you’re browsing.

you are not trying to eavesdrop on their conversation. it’s just that, well, yuji talks a little loud and you’re a naturally curious person.

it’s nothing much.

and you’re definitely not leaning a little bit closer to them every time megumi responds, not trying to hide a grin when you pick up on the conversation that’s going on. you’re shopping. there’s no ulterior motive here.

(but if there were… who could blame you, really? is it so wrong to care about your sons friendship? about the one person he’s acted slightly… reckless towards? your sensible, nonchalant son? the same one who you’ve caught smiling around fives times now?)

still, when satoru sneaks up behind you—resting his head on your shoulder in a split second—you jump a little.

okay. maybe you’ve gotten a bit distracted.

“what are you doing?”

you flinch away from his breath on your ear, your heart picking up almost involuntarily. it’s ridiculous that your body has the urge to shiver, even after a decade of this kind of interruption.

“satoru,” you say, breathing out. you look over to him, where he’s grinning by your side. “i thought you were too exhausted to come.”

“i was. but i caught a scent of some manju nearby.”

you roll your eyes. “of course.”

satoru’s hand sneaks around your waist, his eyes twinkling behind his sunglasses the whole time. you allow it, because you’re stupid, and lean against him.

“and i wanted to check on my wife, of course. make sure she wasn’t wasting away without me.”

“it was mostly the manju though, right?”

he kisses your head, rubbing his nose against your temple. “you’re so cute. have i ever told you that?”

you just roll your eyes again. but don’t bother to push him away—even though it’s dreadfully hot outside and you might die of heatstroke.

at least it’d be a happy death… and satoru’s more likely to share his sweets with you this way.

he hums. “are you going to answer my question?”

“i’m shopping,” you pointedly look away. damn it. he’s distracting you.

megumi and yuji are a couple of stalls away now, and you have to pick up your pace a little bit, so you can catch up to the boys.

satoru laughs. “huh. that’s weird.”

“i don’t know what you’re implying.”

“i could’ve sworn you were attempting to spy on megumi and yuji.”

you give him a glare. and then attempt to pinch the arm clutched to your side, but satoru takes your hand before you get the chance. “i don’t spy, satoru.”

“clearly.”

“did you leave nobara behind? you’re supposed to be watching all of the first years.”

“you think kugisaki is the one i need to keep my eye on?”

you look forward to where megumi and yuji have stalled—the latter placing some ridiculous sunglasses on your usually prickly son. “okay, fair.”

satoru grins at you again.

the two of you share a knowing glance, looking at the boys. there have been many late night discussions about this very subject. many lectures about satoru keeping the very boundaries you’re breaking currently.

but who can blame you? honestly.

“what’d you hear?” he whispers in your ear, already in on this agenda.

your smile is mischievous, and you just open your mouth when there’s another body on your left side, arms already crossed.

“are we watching itadori and fushiguro try to flirt again?” nobara asks.

[kirisaki-daichi-scenarios]

the boys as bodyguards

dedicated to absolutely no one. sure this is an asks blog - does that mean i have to actually answer them? i know i know bad admins bad admins whatcha gonna do whatcha gonna do when they come for you but i had a dream ages ago now that involved bodyguards, tsunamis, and also a shit ton of murder. don't ask. anyway, it got me pondering. and then it took literal months to write this so i figured i'd post what i've got so far, and maybe i'll update with the rest of the boys later, depending on how well this does/how much time i have

hanamiya makoto

hanamiya’s the package deal

he’s the chief advisor; he’s the doctor; he’s the bodyguard; he’s the sniper. just a right hand man in every way possible.

i mean, he’s not literally your right hand man: he’s the leader of a team, and often it’ll be one of his men there next to you at events, but he’s always supervising or coordinating or collecting intel

ie he’s dedicated to his job. he does like engineering spider’s webs after all.

having said that, he’s also an uncontrollable prick

he’s the best at giving you advice, both in terms of navigating high society and in terms of actual business advice, but is he going to give that advice without slipping in a snide comment about how you should really know all this by now? when you tell him to make sure to take a break some time, is he going to stop himself from saying “maybe if you weren’t so incredibly useless on your own, i’d be able to.”

and sure maybe he’s breaking the universal declaration of human rights with what he does to the people who dare to try harm you, but you don’t know about that

need to know basis type beat

you don’t even have access to the full floor plans of your own property, which includes a basement you’ll never know about, let alone step foot in. hanamiya keeps that information very close to his chest.

gotta make sure his employer has plausable deniability

gotta make double sure that you don’t find out about half the things he does - from the ways he sources his information, to his very dodgy organised crime links, to the number of people that have sadly lost their lives in the name of “fuck it, you’re pissing me off” - because he hates when you bang on about bullshit like “laws” and “morals”

after all, if everyone followed your beloved laws and morals, then you’d have no need for his services

as he always tells you, he’s just your pet necessary evil

yamazaki hiroshi

i reckon he only got into the bodyguard business because he spent his childhood wanting to be a samurai but, well you know, that’s not really a job opportunity anymore

what it does mean though is that he’s all about bushido: mastering his work, bravery, honesty, etc - and above all else loyalty to one’s employer

on a random thursday afternoon, he’ll tell you, completely nonchalantly, straight face, “i would die for you if that’s what it takes. on my life, i’ll always keep you safe.”

you’re staring at him like wtf and/or trying to stop yourself blushing, but he thinks that’s a completely normal thing to say cause he’s just following bushido

of course, late one night, he’ll wake up realise how weird that came across and he’ll spend the next week trying not to blush whenever you talk to him

just like the time he spent a week kicking himself after you walked in on him training, shirtless and rather sweaty, and when you told him he should take a break, he said “but i need to train so my body can be at its best for you”

again, at the time that sounded very reasonable, serious, and totally bushido to him. it’s only later that he’s freaking out in his room like why in god’s name did he say that.

but hey that’s bodyguard!yamazaki for you. a little weird, a little socially inept, but loyal to a fault

haizaki shougo

can you imagine the number of jobs that this man has lost for sleeping on the job?

he’s only got his current gig looking after you because his prices are cheaper and you were getting desperate to find someone in your budget

he’s a ...uhh… unique bodyguard? in the sense that he’ll get you out of harms way eventually, but "eventually" is the key word there

haizaki actively ignores intel that a certain location might be dangerous, because he really just wants to get into fights. sure you might get in the way occasionally, maybe even get some nasty bruises, but hey you get what you pay for.

you want a good bodyguard, save up some money, idiot.

literally the only reason he got into being a bodyguard is so he can beat people up legally (and because he got dishourably discharged from the military); he doesn’t care that much about the whole ‘protecting’ side of things

he’s also the type to ditch you the minute a better paying job comes up (possibly combat work as a mercenary). however he’s not as cold-hearted as he may seem, and he’ll happily spend a day of leave breaking into your penthouse

so that when you return in the evening, he’s there sat on an armchair, grinning smugly, “man your security’s turned to shit since i left.”

shortly followed by, “miss me?”

jason silver

jason’s the quintessential bodyguard, cause, after all, having a very muscular 6’11 man follow you everywhere you go isn’t exactly subtle

but he’s recognisable for other reasons as well.

like the fact that he’ll accompany you to formal balls, and he’ll be the only man there with an undone tie - it’s such a massive argument trying to get him to wear an appropriate suit instead of his usual hoodies and sweatpants, that can anyone blame you for not having the energy to insist he stops undoing his tie as well?

he’s also not exactly one for professionality. like you’ll be minding your business, trying to network, and suddenly you’ll hear a wolf whistle by your ear and a “wouldn’t mind me a bit of that”

“jason, that’s the ambassador to norway. we’re having her over for dinner next week, so, with all due respect, shut the fuck up. and whisper next time, for heaven’s sake! what if someone had heard you?”

“shit, is it a crime to like some nice tits in this economy?”

and when you glare at him, genuinely furious, he grins, puts his hands up, and says, “sorry, sorry. forgot you don’t like me having eyes for anyone else, boss.”

but don’t get me wrong, jason’s not all evil contra to fujimaki’s propaganda

he is an incredibly good bodyguard - those animal instincts really help him out when it comes to getting you out of a sniper’s line of sight, or saving you from a bullet, or just assessing a room for potential entry points. and he packs a mean punch if anyone tries to try something on you, a solid ko.

no one’s getting past him essentially

the only problem is that it’s incredibly difficult to thank jason for saving your life, cause the last thing he needs is an ego boost or feeling like you owe him.

“seriously jason. i don’t know how i can ever repay you.”

“usually the payslip’s enough,” he smirks, “but you know that little lady ambassador-“

unsuprisingly, he’s not invited to the dinner.

[xelmokidx]

Hii can I request headcanons on how Ray from Mid90s would be like as an older brother with the reader as his little sister? I feel like he'd be the type to tease his little sibling and act like they're a baby even tho there's only a 2 year age gap- I feel like he'd be fun to gossip with aswell, the insults he'd pull out about people you have beef with would probably be SO funny

omg this is soo cuteeeeeeeee

ray x f!platonic!sibling!reader

So freaking protective it’s insane

like he will not leave you alone with any boy ever

maybe the group, like they are def an exception

((but not fuckshit, he’s way too horny))

teasing is always and forever

“ur short” “:(“

when you try to do it back he just laughs it off

but sometimes when you actually do a good burn, he is equally impressed and offended

Ray-“I mean you are a young stupid kid, no wonder why you look like that.”

-Y/n-“ damn, I can’t believe your ugly and mean, pick a struggle asswipe”

ray-“🤯”

will always call you a baby

whether it’s derogatory or not

if you fall and cry , you’re a baby

if you are talking to someone you are vibing with and want to date, you can’t, you’re only a baby

it gets to a point where the rest of the group starts to call you a baby( with fuckshit calling you babygirl as a way to flirt)

trying teach you to skate when you guys where younger

but you sucked, so he stopped trying to teach you

(you where so saddened by the fact that he stopped teaching you that he gave you thirty dollars( which was his life savings) and promised that you could hang out with his friend sometimes)

((you never stopped hanging out with his friends))

you have sad puppy dog eyes that will change any decision he has into your favor

They also work on every single one of the boys

you, Stevie and Ruben complain about being the youngest kids in the group

hanging out with Estée and asking for girl stuff bc you have a stupid skater older brother and all of you guys’ conjoined friends are guys you have no clue about anything girly

speaking on girl stuff, the day you got your period for the first time was in front of the boys

they literally thought you were dying

ray was so concerned and started to cry

you where also terrified but you knew that all girls went through this cycle

you called Estée to help you and she explained everything to them

I like to thing that the reader is sorta popular at school, which is contrary to ray who only hangs out with fuckshit and fourthgrade in school

gossiping w/ ray after school at the nearby taco shop 🔛🔝‼️‼️

him actually being interested but acting like he doesn’t care is so funny to me omg

will buy you any little random thing that remind him of you

You being on fourthgrades films seems so cute to me hold on

like he’ll be filming you and ray coming like “wtf are you doing get that camera off of my baby sister”

and you are equally parts touched by his protectiveness and annoyed

okay that’s all I cnat think up rn

plsssssss send more request im begging 🙏

[houserautha]

Omg parts 5 and 6 killed me 😔😔 love that reader is a fighter and doesn’t take shit (in some twisted way, I suppose it’s a compliment that she could only be taken out by poison up to that point cause she’s such a threat…? Plus now reader gets poison training which is amazing in itself - it’s good for her and also a great, even if twisted, way for them to bond). I loved the tension and build up throughout all these chapters leading up to what happens in 6 😭😭😭 I screamed at the ending of 6 tho cause it was like… wtf…. That was amazing but also…. 🥲 damn reader’s just laying there like 😐 what have I gotten myself into

building on what you posted on your musings - I can’t help but wonder what’s Feyd’s pov throughout these chapters. Did he get obsessed after she argued back and slapped him (cause he immediately shifted from being like “you’re my future wife” to calling her “wife” alr lol)? Then there’s that comment about how reader alr holds considerable sway over him at the dinner 😭 Where did he go after watching her take down the first guy during the crucible?? Why didn’t he watch the rest of it?? 😭 also him noticing the page she was on while taking the book away + saying he could never deny her + admitting she’s basically driving him crazy too - I am deceased 😔

As always thanks for sharing your work ❤️❤️❤️

Oh yes, in my head reader couldn’t be a Bene Gesserit like her mother so she channeled all of her energy into learning how to fight. (She secretly just wants her mother’s love and respect🥲) And I think poison training is just a neat thing for reader and Feyd to have in common, especially since poison is such a big deal in the books as weapons. And it goes with my HC of Feyd doing it just to fuck with people😂😂

The end of part 6, I really think reader had just been fucked into oblivion by a bald freak (and she loved it) and had to reevaluate all of her life choices up to that point😂 She also was like you’re not going to help clean up???

UGH I love Feyd I wish I could post his POV about everything. Reader definitely slapped him and he wanted to get down on one knee. Like she was wifed up from that moment on. I also think reader subconsciously knows that he would do anything for her (kind of going back to his obsessive personality).

During the fight, he like 5000% knew she would kick ass because he can detect other great fighters pretty easily. But he needed to confirm. He saw her take down the guy in .0001 seconds and was like, “yeah she got this, that’s my wife”. In my head he also left because he knew it would piss her off😂 who knows where he went, he didn’t tell me lol, he does what he wants

I love their relationship so much😭 he’s just a little bald freak obsessed with his wifey. I added the book part too because it’s like he’s being an asshole but he also cares for her in his own way so he reflexively remembered the page number

And thank you for your kind words!! I’m glad you’re liking the story🥰 I love talking about it

(I can’t wait for you to read the next part👀😏)

[givemeanaccountalready]

Prev

So while that happens, the entirety of the Hidden Leaf are freaking tf out. Not only did they just lose the first (publicly known) Wood Release user since Lord First immediately after they got her, but they also lost the jinchuuriki too. Anyone who is not in Root has no clue who Sai is or where he came from (hint: inside the walls). It is a disaster.

Sai and Sakura had their little bout of fisticuffs in the Academy schoolyard. Sasuke saw the Wood Release and is like, that might be useful, I need to learn that. He leaves to try and find out where they could have gone. Unlike the adults who are rightfully going wtf, Sasuke is like, sick jutsu bro. He finds Sakura’s little hideout and her diary with all her notes inside. Any pretense of not caring beyond learning a rad new jutsu flies out the treehouse as he sees various mentions of this “Keigo” guy (Sakura named Sai Keigo because he called her Ugly in an attempt to give her a friendly nickname and she cried (no self-esteem), forcing him to explain what the hell he was thinking. Since he told her to give him a name since he didn’t have one and kept being rude, she named him “Polite Speech” as a middle finger) and Naruto is the son of the Nine Tails (that was her best theory, cut her some slack, she was 11 when she came up with it). Sasuke firmly believes that this Keigo guy is an enemy nin who is using his classmates, and decides, yeah I can rescue them because he’s 12 and never not been able to figure shit out. How hard could a rescue op be?

Very hard is the answer. He is able to leave a shadow clone behind to get his classmates (you know, all the clan heirs that you don’t want to lose) to leave the village with him to “find Naruto and Sakura” (really, it’s to throw the searchers off and cause a distraction so he can solve the issue and leverage them for answers about Naruto’s relationship to the Nine Tails). Sasuke is also stuck with this old guy who claims he’s Jiraiya of the Sannin, but really, he’s just a dirty, old man who keeps chasing skirts at every rest stop they’re at. It’s annoying, but the guy might die if Sasuke leaves him alone because if he keeps calling himself a Sannin, people are going to try and kill him. Sasuke still can’t quite believe that Jiraiya is Jiraiya of the Sannin, even after he meets Tsunade. He’s not entirely convinced Tsunade is Tsunade Senju either, and feels for Shizune. Shizune is trying her very best not to laugh at Jiraiya and Tsunade when Sasuke is like, yeah, sure you’re a Sannin, and I have a loving, living family, now chop, chop, put the vices down, we got idiots to hunt down.

These are the shitpost meme esque vibes I got going on:

Jiraiya: “Dear God, whoever took them must be a master of evasion.”

Cut to the three idiots arguing over whether moss only grows on the north side of trees. They personify the song “Lost” from the Percy Jackson musical

Sai: “This would be so much easier if we still had a map.”

Sakura: “It was an accident! You make dinner next time!”

Sai: 100% earnest “Sure, I like eating things with flavor.”

Sakura: “Why you little-” Homer Simpson chokes him

Naruto: holding up the charred remains of their map “Hold on guys, I think we might be near this little, not burnt bit.”

Sai: “No, we’re not. We passed that point two days ago.”

Naruto: “Maybe we went in a circle?”

Sakura: “FUCK!”

Sasuke: goes up to the sleeping Jiraiya “WAKEY WAKEY” immediately uses a water jutsu to drown him awake

Jiraiya: “AAAAAAH!!” Coughs up water “I taught you that jutsu so you could put out any fires started by your Fire Release practice on your own.”

Sasuke: “I’d say a dumpster fire counts.”

Danzo: looks up from his desk “Why do I hear boss music?”

A wild Itachi appears

Tsunade: “Let me get this straight. The Hidden Leaf lost two Academy students who not only were they the worst in their physical training scores, but they also have the potential to be some of the biggest powerhouses in this generation. And you two are their only hope at finding them because the Leaf doesn’t want to alert the other villages to what they lost by sending out an actual search party?”

Sasuke: “Yup.”

Jiraiya: “That pretty much covers it. So? Will you help us?”

Tsunade: starts cackling

[xanadontit]

My friend D really wants me and E (aka Beloved Uncle E to her toddler) to come up to visit their new house, ideally for an overnight, and theoretically this would be fine. I enjoy her company and the kids are great and we can take them to the park or just hang out. Whatever works, and I know toddlers and babies aren’t predictable so I’m willing to go with the flow as far as plans. 

But I’m not sure I will be able to resist lunging at her husband or shoving his pitching wedge up his ass if he doesn’t get his shit together.

A refresher: they have a 3.5 year-old (the toddler who adores E lol) and a five month old baby girl (who is being breastfed as much as D can, with some pumping and regular formula). They just moved about 2 hours from here, the couple is both WFH, and the kids are in daycare. It’s been a lot of change in the span of 5 months! But all things they discussed at length and part of The Plan.

On Sunday D wasn’t feeling so hot and turns out she had a fever; this is after a few days of being primary caregiver for the baby who had an ear infection which came on the heels of toddler bringing home some kind of day care funk. D managed to convince her husband she needed some rest and he’d need to mind the kids once she showed him the thermometer which...wtf. He regularly naps and leaves her to entertain both children and doesn’t even have the decency to say “since I got rest I’ll do dinner or bath” or something useful. 

Yesterday she was feeling better, nursing the baby, and asked her husband who was getting himself some water in the kitchen if he could prep a bottle (it’s not unusual for her to “top off” the baby with some formula after a nursing session). Dude freaked out about how frustrating it’s been to have to hold her hand through this post partum time and that he’s struggling with how she can’t seem to manage both kids. Please bear in mind that he was not on his way out the door to perform life saving brain surgery, and it was a request along the lines of “since you’re up, can you do this when you’re done with your thing, please?” All the supplies to make a bottle were at his fingertips. Truly some bare minimum shit. Also, she managed both kids during her maternity leave and he has yet to be alone with both of his children. So who’s not managing what now?

Why wouldn’t you want to hold your partner’s (metaphorical) hand after she had your child? Why wouldn’t you want to be part of making sure your children are fed? What is going through this person’s head?

I know E and I have it pretty easy: no kids, we’re both able to manage our own stuff, and we have a division of labor that works for us for the most part. I’m trying to imagine a life where one of us is struggling and the other person’s response is “this is annoying and I wish you were more fun.” Like what if when E’s dad died I said “your crying is really bumming me out - could you please get happy?” What in the Cluster B Personality Disorder is that? Sometimes I get scared that if we had a child things would be different between us, given how many women say “I didn’t think it would be like this. I thought we were partners.”*

I love my friend dearly and want to support her but it’s getting harder not to say “leave him - you’ll be fine and he’ll be back to eating In N Out for dinner every day” even though it’s absolutely true.

*This is from hetero couples, I’ll acknowledge that. 

[minkkumaz]

omg speaking abt exposure.. imagine the bonedo boys/8turn boys accidentally letting ur name slip during a live 🙊

I CAN LITERALLY ENVISION WOONHAK SITTING DOWN WITH LIKE GONGFOURZ, AND HES JUST TELLING THE FANS ABOUT HIS DAY AND HE GOES “oh yeah! yn bought me this jacket, i’m wearing it right now!” AND TAESAN JUST WHIPPING HIS HEAD TOWARDS WOONHAKS DIRECTION SO FAST. leehan slowly turns to him, then back at the tablet with a 🙂.

it’ll be even funnier if woonhak fails to notice and he continues rambling.. i feel like woonhaks the type of guy to treat a live like a family videocall. like he’s so used to calling his sister or his parenrs and just ranting abt you, so he just (accidentally) does it live.

so with YUNGYU i believe he’s the type of guy to normally facetime you whenever he can. like hes eating dinner? yeah he’d call. he just woke up and is about to do some skincare? pick up the phone. sometimes when you’re too tired, he’d just ask yes or no questions. or he’d just talk about his day.

“right omi? this outfit looks good for today?”

“omi! i had some street food with seungheon.. of course yoonsung wanted some so he came along..”

“omiii i miss youuu”

unfortunately, when hes live he also tends to fall back on his habits on facetime. when he’d be spoiling talking about a comeback, he’d be like

“im so excited for you to hear it, omi!”

the staff behind the screen just blankly stare at him and try to direct him to another topic before suspicions arouse. normally, someone would be freaked out they accidentally released their relationship to the public.. but for some reason theres a little grin creeping up on his face.

MINHO would panic, but fortunately jaeyun was on the live with him and said that the person minho mentioned was a distant relative.

“me and yn tried this filter last night..”

“yn is minhos cousin!”

but when the agency allows for the relationship to be public, and minho mentions your name.. fans would be REALLY confused on why hes dating his cousin.. then theres the 15% of the turnings who speculated the name yn was definitely his gf and NOT his cousin. (i love minho sobs)

jisung sneak..

jisung would be on a live while at your apartment, he frequently gets questions like,

“marry me jisung!” or “jisung one chance!!!”

and he’d be blankly reading them out with no reaction. but one day he accidentally goes “i dont think yn would like that..” and the comments go insane asking about who yn is..

“..oh.” he looks up from the live to see his gfs sleeping figure on the other couch. and with a small, warm smile he talks about having the most loveliest girlfriend ever.

to ur surprise, you wake up with many new notifications and a surprising hashtag on twitter.. #YNSUNG

-🍉

SLIP UPS WITH THESE BOYS AAAH!

all of these are so accurate to their personalities i can't melon :,)

woonhak would most definitely have a little rant and the rest of the boys eyes would be twitching HAHA but jaeyun would probably be there like YEAHH THATS MY GIRL I LOVE YN! then the live chat would be like wtf are yall yapping about?

and tell me why when you insert my name for yungyu's i actually exploded into a fit of giggles i smiled so hard >< but yes! i have yungyu's plus chat subscription and he's always talking about the most random things. he love love loves spending time with turnings (in this case reader, aka me >;3) and always apologizes if he doesn't text for a day! so like woonhak, he's definitely a rambler and i could totally see him messing up hehe.

you're so funny for minho's, cause dating his cousin? LMAOOO once the relationship is revealed, i can imagine whiney yoonsung complaining to turnings that his bf cheated on him </3 first with myungho then with reader sighh

I SEE U JISUNG SNEAKK waking up clueless asf to have your phone blowing up is genuinely my worst nightmare cause i'll think i did something wrong HAHA but fans would be very supportive! i can imagine reader not wanting to do a face reveal quite yet, but her arms come in frame to give jisung something THEN FANS MAKE EDITS OF LIKE HER HANDS OR SOMETHING JUST TO BE FUNNY HSJSN