#the rest would be like wtf??? you’re not freaking out???

[kevinsdsy]

if trojans socmed!shawn would ever find out about jean’s backstory he’d be serious for like 3 seconds and then say this:

[warping-realities]

Familly Group Chat

Written version of my last video. At some point I'll make one of the first one too! Hope you like it!

Michael was one of the many “middle kids” of John and Louise Bennet; in fact, he was the 4th of 7, just a few minutes younger than his twin brother, Tobias, with whom he shared that typical inscrutable and unexplainable bond that only twins have. Even though the relationship among all seven Bennet boys was super strong, having been raised under the strict rules of the holy Catholic Church by their parents, they were all scattered across the country, so the only way to keep in touch was through the family group chat on an app. That morning, the 23-year-old blonde man, skinny but toned from constant running, had just finished taking a hot shower and putting on his favorite pair of skinny black jeans, which his modern startup job not only accept but even endorsed as part of the dress code. He was about to start brushing his teeth when a new message notification popped up on his phone.

“Message from Tobias, here we go…” he muttered to himself, knowing his twin would only send a message at that hour if it was to roast someone. And sure enough!

“Hey bro, did you see the good morning message Mom posted in the family group?”

“Not yet, man.”

“Well, brace yourself! I have no idea where she finds this stuff!”

As he opened the family group while heading to the kitchen to make his usual black coffee, Michael couldn’t help but chuckle at the cheesiness of the good morning image Mom had sent.

“Dude, do all moms have a group to share this crap?” he typed to his brother in the private chat.

“Has to be! But you better reply, you know how she gets… soon she’ll be whining about how she raised seven ungrateful kids or some nonsense,” Tobias replied. Thinking about that, Michael rushed to respond to their mom. Louise was really kinda needy now that only the youngest still lived with her. However, when he opened the family group, he couldn't help but laugh out loud at the reply Tobias had sent—an even tackier image than the one their mom sent.

“Dude, you’re the worst! Where the hell did you find that image to reply to her?” he shot back to his brother.

“Well, maybe I’m in the mom’s group!” He replied before sending something completely different. “Hey, what’s going on? Someone saved as Dad 0.2 just join the group. What the hell is this?”

Hurrying to check that message, Michael quickly opened the family group and was shocked to see an unknown person had joined, which shouldn’t be possible without an access link or an invite from one of the group admins, their parents. The private convo that followed between the brothers was frantic and freaked out.

“Dad 0.2 removed Mom from the group… what’s going on?”

“I don’t know… how does someone just waltz into a private group and kick someone out???”

“Dad 0.2 changed the group name from Bennet Family to Bradley Boys! What the hell is this?”

“He’s sending a video, what’s happening???”

“I don’t know, bro, let’s just open it and see.”

The video showed a dude in his forties, but he looked really good for his age, easily passing for someone younger if it weren't for the crow's feet around his eyes that showed he was used to smiling, and his extremely muscular physique screamed years of hardcore workouts. With light brown hair and a well-groomed beard, he was rocking just a pair of sweats that showcased his powerful muscles in a spacious but Spartan room, with minimal furniture or decor.

“Alright, guys, it’s time to send our good morning videos! Who’s next? How about you, Jeff? I’m dying to rest my head on those muscle pillows of yours, babe!” the stranger said, flexing his arms.

“WTF?? You seeing what I’m seeing, Tobias? And who the hell is Jeff?” Michael quickly texted back to his brother.

“I have no clue, man, this is so weird… wait a sec… Dad 0.1 just sent a video, what the hell is this?”

“I think we better check it out…” Michael shot back before opening the video from the contact that also showed up for him as Dad 0.1.

“I’m dying to see you too, Buck! Counting the seconds until you’re back, babe. The bed feels empty without you here! Who’s next? How about our firstborn? It’s on you, Wyatt!” That was impossible; the face on the screen was undeniably their dad, but he had gained a solid 50 pounds of muscle and lost a good amount of fat. Not to mention the carpet of hair that now covered his formerly smooth chest.

“Is that really Dad? No way… how?” Tobias sent back.

“I don’t know, man! This is so bizarre… how did he bulk up so much… it doesn’t make sense… and who the hell is Wyatt?”

“He mentioned firstborn… but no… that can’t be…” Tobias typed before they both received another notification. Upon opening the video, they were in for another surprise.

“Hey there, bros! Ready for a new day? I’m already warming up waiting for my workout buddy—where you at, Maverick, little bro?” said the muscular dude, barely in his thirties, dressed all in black and flexing in a gym locker room.

“Dude… that’s Will!!! But he’s never set foot in a gym,” Michael texted Tobias. William, the oldest of the bunch, was about to turn thirty, and he had the chubby physique of an accountant used to long hours behind a desk, drinking coffee and munching on donuts—that was literally his life… or should be. But if there was anything that video showed, it was that Wyatt had never put a single sweet in his mouth.

“I don’t even know what to say… but there’s more coming!” Tobias replied, apparently just as stunned. As the new video arrived, they rushed to look.

“Ha! I’ve already left you in the dust, Wyatt! Looks like the baby bro is now the big bro! Don’t take too long, or I’ll be late for school, and my coach is gonna flip, right, Griff?”

“Dude, that’s Martin on steroids! That kid looks like he’s tripled in size! Is this some kind of prank? Some deep fake?” he asked in shock. Martin, the youngest, was already a more athletic kid, being on the wrestling team, but with that size, he’d be better suited for the offensive line on a football team, if he wasn’t already too big for that, and who the hell was this coach he was talking about?

“Michael, I’m just as lost as you. But it looks like this isn’t stopping…” Tobias commented as another video popped up in the group.

“You’re gonna have to do a ton of push-ups for not calling me Coach Bradley, kid! No Griff or Griffin while I’m your trainer! And if you’re late for school, it’ll be suicide day! Speaking of late, where the hell are you, Chase? Bet you left Hunter hanging at the beach.”

“Tobias, that’s Gordon! How the hell is he a coach? He’s a math teacher!” Michael texted in disbelief, seeing their second oldest brother looking way older than he should, with thinning hair as if he had been overdoing the steroids, which seemed totally possible, he thought, seeing the massive bodybuilder rocking just boxer briefs and a tight tank top, flexing his powerful muscles in some dimly lit room.

“Tobias? Tobias? Damn… there’s more coming!” Michael texted anxiously as he opened the next video.

“Ha, you know me too well, bro, but The Chaser is on the scene, Hunt’s got to face me!” That was Carl, but just like the other family members, he had gone through a transformation that left him almost unrecognizable. He had turned into a mountain of muscles covered by a thin layer of bronzed skin, clad only in a tiny yellow short, shades, and a backwards cap. Sitting in a car, flexing his muscles and grinning. Michael didn’t even have time to send a new outraged message to Tobias when another video came in.

“Too bad I’m already way ahead in my workout, little bro! You sure you want to take me on? Hehehe. Speaking of challenges, which twin’s gonna fire the next shot? Trey or Micah?” said the bronzed, muscular dude sporting Hugh’s modified look, the brother just below the twins in age. Watching this, Michael’s shock wore off, and he resumed chatting with his twin.

“What the hell is going on??? What are they doing at the beach? They should be in college!” But the reply didn’t come. Worried, he called out for his brother.

“Tobias? Tobias?”

“Who the fuck is Tobias, bro? I’m already sending my video, Micah! Big T is once again taking the lead! At least The Grand Finale is all yours!” was the twin response.

“Tobias, you guys must be messing with me!” Michael sent before opening the family group, where his brother had just sent another video.

“Trey here, leaving the little twin eating dust as always. And like always, I can’t tell what’s more badass, the view from my window or the sight the girls get when they check out my bod! What do you say, Micah, who’s used to seeing pretty much the same thing when you look in the mirror?” said the guy who in no way could be his twin brother, while grinning and showing off his muscular physique in front of his sunny apartment window. Totally lost, Michael sent a message to him.

“Tobias… Trey… I’m not doing any of this, this is insane!” he sent without realizing that autocorrect had changed his brother’s name.

“Dude, we’ve been doing this for years! It’s a Bradley tradition, what’s the problem now? You know how our das freak if we don’t join in. One of them is gonna call you if you don’t send it soon!” he replied. And Michael didn’t even have time to formulate a response to that new absurdity.

“Crap, video call from Dad 0.1,” he muttered to himself, refusing to pick up. But it seemed his phone had a mind of its own because the altered version of his dad popped up on his screen without permission.

“Micah, your dad is far away and wants a video from his boys. Trey just told me you don’t want to do it. What’s the harm in sending it? All your brothers already have, don’t be a buzzkill,” said the man with a serious and slightly disappointed expression.

“Dad, I… what the hell?” Michael started to respond, only to be cut off by the sudden entrance of a third person in the call. How was this possible? How was all this even real???

“Chill out, Jeff! I think Micah’s scared of looking like a weakling in front of his brothers.” It was the guy from the other video, grinning and crossing his arms while looking at Michael with a mischievous glint in his eye.

“What??? I… no… weakling!” For some reason, that challenge sparked something inside him, a primal urge to show what he was capable of, and even more, to show that man what he could do. He wanted… no, he needed to prove himself to that man. Show one of the most important people in his life that he wasn’t some weakling!

“You’re gonna see who the weakling is, Dad!” Micah shot back with a grin before sending his own video.

“Last of the Bradley boys here, you bunch of exhibitionists!” he said, shyly smiling. Unlike his brothers he didn't like to show off his physique without a greater purpose, he kept hitting the gym for the joy it always brought him, mainly because it was something that connected all the brothers and their two dads. The boys didn’t know who was whose dad, and to them that didn’t matter one bit. The Bradley boys were a united front; even though each had their own place, they all worked together at the gym their fathers had founded many years ago, even those who had other jobs like Griff or were still finishing school like Maverick. Even when it came time for college, they preferred to stick around instead of crossing the country, which was why Hunter and Chase still lived with their fathers. Their upbringing had been liberal, but there were still well-established boundaries of respect. Even though a much greater degree of freedom was present now that they were all adults, provocative acts had become more common, with the guys and their parents occasionally sending more explicit videos. In fact, the bond among them was so strong that whenever one of them was away for some reason, it had become family tradition to send those good morning videos.

“We’re looking forward to your return, Dad!” he said in the group, joined by his brothers and other father. They were answered by Buck, affectionately known by all as Dad 0.2.

“I’ll be back this weekend, boys, and I want the whole family together! But until then, at least we’ll have our little moments every morning. To wrap it up, here’s one last video from me for you to think of me as much as I think of you!” he said, winking and provocatively massaging his pecs.

“Come on, Dad! We don’t need this at this time of the morning,” was the response from his sons, even though they were all exactly the same kind of man as Buck Bradley.

[star-girl69]

imagine the little family but reader gets hit on by one of the new campers and the rest of the camp is waiting to see ivy and clarisse reaction 🌚

I LOVE THIS OMMGGGGGG

no bc this is specifically so funny and dear to me bc imagine

you’re like sitting with ivy and playing in the sand on the beach having a fun time

and then hi harry from better than revenge in an alternate universe

clarisse has been so busy lately bc it’s the start of summer and there’s all these new campers and things

so you haven’t been around each other as much 💔

dumbass harry walks over to you and is like “it’s so sweet how you treat your younger sibling like your own”

and ivy is preening at the attention of this nice boy who quickly realizes the way to your heart is through ivy

you just think he’s nice and playing with ivy in the sand and making a killer sand castle tbh….

then he says smth a little flirty like a compliment but neither you or ivy think much of it at first

then he’s like “oh hey here you have some sand on your face” and leans so close to you to brush your cheek with his thumb

woah buddy 😟😟😟😟😟

ivy is like ok what the freak (she’s not supposed to swear) (let’s be real she still does)

bc like she’s not dumb….. she knows the only person who touches you like this is clarisse and yeah this guy is nice but she doesn’t like him THAT much

he doesn’t look that strong he can’t be her jungle gym she’s not liking it

you’re sitting there in shock and ivy is getting mad bc HE SHUFFLES CLOSER TO YOU

she climbs into your lap and starts SCREAMING bloody murder and kicking out wildly at harry

“Y/N I WANT TO GO Y/N I WANT TO GO I WANT TO GO I WANT TO GO”

so you pick her up and rush your little butts out of there and harry is trying to follow you bc THIS BITCH WILL NOT GIVE UP DAMN

and you’re looking over your shoulder like GO AWAY

after another second you think he’s gone so you set ivy down

you crouch down and you’re pretty sure she just didn’t like harry flirting w you but you just wanna make sure smth wasn’t actually wrong

“hey are you guys okay?”

“RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” is ivy’s war cry as she jumps on top of harry and starts screaming and kicking and hitting him

AND YOURE SCREAMING TOO BC WTF??????

“IVY YOU GET DOWN RIGHT NOW NO DESSERT FOR THREE DAYS I SWEAR”

eventually everyone kinda heads towards the commotion of this 10 year old screaming and attacking harry and you desperately trying to pull ivy off of him

that is when clarisse walks over

she just stares at the scene for a second in absolute shock

then harry finally pushes ivy off of him and she FLIES into you like he pushed her HARD bc he’s a BITCH

and you weren’t expecting it so you fall back w ivy in your arms

CLARISSE IS ABOUT TO GO INSANE

she runs over but harry is like NO NO NO MY CHANCES ARE RUINED

so he’s desperately trying to help you up and you’re like oh my god i think i’m gonna die

ivy starts attacking him like a feral dog again

“YOU- HURT- MY- Y/N- STUPID HEAD!!!!!!!”

you need a leash for her atp

but by the time clarisse makes it over to you she realizes what’s going on

she crouches down next to you and says ivy’s name really intimidatingly and ivy is like

“OMG HI CLARISSE I LITERALLY SAVED Y/N’S LIFE ARENT YOU PROUD OF ME”

and after she looks over you and sees that your find just a little shocked and very tired (motherhood is hard) she decides to glare at harry

“okay and what does that mean?”

“ok so we were playing in the sand and then harry comes over and he’s nice and he’s helping me build my sandcastle and then he starts TOUCHING Y/N and getting all CLOSE TO HER and i was like woah wait hold on what the freak so then i threw a tantrum so we would leave BUT HE KEPT FOLLOWING!!!!!!! I JUST WANTED HIM TO GO AWAY BC YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO TOUCHES Y/N LIKE THAT SO I ATTACKED HIM AND THEN HE PUSHED ME SO I ATTACKED HIM MORE BUT NOW YOURE HERE!!!!!!”

harry is just horrified bc that’s exactly what happened this child was just throwing a tantrum 5 minutes ago how is she so articulated

she’s just smart like that tho

clarisse is like “oh so you’re flirting with my girlfriend? are you dumb? literally everyone knows.”

harry just accepts defeat and mutters a few choice words under his breath and walks away

clarisse debates about punching him but decides that ivy has already done all of the work for her

ivy hugs clarisse so tight

“you are so amazing my little warrior you did such a great job protecting y/n i am so proud”

then you join the hug “yes you’re my little knight in shining armor but please remember violence is not always the answer”

ivy and clarisse share a look like “this crazy lady just be saying stuff”

“EXCUSE ME???? BC I KNOW YOU TWO DIDNT JUST LOOK AT EACH OTHER LIKE THAT-”

you try to actually make ivy skip dessert for a few days but she’s so adorable so you give it to her anyways

clarisse teaches her how to properly throw a punch and kick someone

you are not pleased

ivy is ecstatic her new passion is fighting

harry stays far away from you

also percy is now campaigning to bring awareness to the clarisse and mini clarisse epidemic

he is very concerned.

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex

[dreamerinthemoonlight]

Spring Date HCS (Kaeya, Diluc, Albedo)

I always love it when spring finally comes around. Even though the grass where I live is almost perpetually green (like wtf??!! How can it be freaking Christmas and some of the grass is green?!!!), I love seeing the trees start to bud out. And the sun. Having the sun out more is nice too

Under the cuts, spring dates with Kaeya, Diluc,  and Albedo

GN reader

cw: slight mention of after hours fun. Not much because that’s a different set off head canons entirely, but it’s there

Kaeya

His first suggestion was to go drinking

Of course the answer was no, not happening

So instead you’re walking around on the Mondstadt version of a mall date

Kaeya seems like he’s the type who looooves PDA, so he’s always holding your hand

Or maybe you’re holding his hand because he’s definitely the type to tease you with little touches that are designed to turn the date very R18 by the end of the day

To be fair, he really doesn’t have to try that hard

He’s hot and charming and he uses it to full effect

In the evening you two climb up venti’s statue (Kaeya is a charmer and will happily go the extra mile. Probably made you a pretty staircase else style to get up there too hehe)

You sit and he pulls you closer so that your head rests against his chest

And the two of you want the sunset from the best seats in city

Diluc

Have you seen this man’s voice lines?

The guy is sweet as hell (10/10 would date)

He picked you up, right on time and had roses waiting. Really nice ones because he can definitely afford them

Instead of staying in the city, you two went out on horse back

Brought a picnic lunch

But most of the time is spent riding and talking. Or riding and not talking. 

The both of you are just happy to have a day off with no real itinerary

Just let the wind lead

So around lunch time you guys find a nice spot-- preferably slime free, but Diluc doesn’t have any problems clearing a spot for you if the spot is nice enough’

You eat lunch and continue just handing out

Really date day is the day that both of you can just be you

You watch the sunset while you’re out

And when you get back into the city he walks you to your door, gives you a goodbye kiss that might turn into more but shhh

Albedo

Last but not least

Our favorite Mondstadt nerd

It’s not on Dragonspine

You put your foot down on that one. No freezing on a spring date

You also handed off Klee to Kaeya archons save us all so the two of you have time alone

I’d say it’s a work date, because his work is basically being as curious as possible, but really, his focus is on you

He can’t stop being curious

But he’ll spend the entire time studying you, figuring out what makes you laugh and smile and then work on doing those things

He seems like the kind who remembers all of the small stuff

If you told him your favorite flower, that’s what he brings you when he picks you up or greets you at the foot of Dragonspine

After that you go exploring

Not unlike with Diluc, but with Albedo your wandering has a distinct purpose

For some reason the desire to know is just there when you’re around Albedo

Not that you’ll complain, not when his attention is on you

If your hair is in your face, he’ll tuck it behind your ear, letting his fingers linger on the edge, feeling the skin only he gets to feel and feeling a certain amount of satisfaction that your his

Even if he doesn’t talk much, he listens. He’ll respond when need be, but he really does love to listen

While you’re out, you eat a picnic lunch he packed and then continue walking around

Instead of taking you home that night, he brings you up to his cave in Dragonspine

It wouldn’t be the first night you’ve spent there and it beats the noise of Mondstadt city in the spring

And there’s no one to hear if you decide the two of you want to do some more intimate experimentation

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

HCs: Spot meeting a Spidey!Reader who takes him seriously as a villain

Been having brainrot for Spot lately and thought that he deserved something nice,,like a Spiderman who’s like “bro my bad guys are boring but you’re really cool” and so this happened-

First time writing him, but hope y'all enjoy!

......

Spot’s first fight with Miles only made him feel like one thing..

A loser. An unworthy opponent. A mere “villain of the week”.

It’s downright humiliating knowing that the Spiderman who (intentionally or not) was the catalyst of the collider accident that turned him into this freak..didn’t seem to take him seriously anymore.

So he goes to hide in another universe for sometime, questioning wtf he’s doing and if anyone in this vast multiverse will see him for what he is--a real villain and a real threat.

Then he overhears on a police officer’s radio chatter that a spider person was several blocks away, stopping a robbery. 

He sees this as his chance to shine and throws on a sloppy disguise.

And he arrives just you have already apprehended the crooks, all four of them webbed up as the store owner shakes your hand, expressing immense gratitude for saving her small business.

“I get it..living’s hard enough around here. I just do what I can to make it easier for folks.” You smile behind your mask.

Then Spot leaps out of hiding, demanding to know where the safe is.

The store owner looks at him, rolling her eyes like “oh boy, another villain for you, kid.”

Immediately, he’s pissed off.

Just “another” villain???

He would have damn near sent this mean lady through a hole and not care where she went had you not intervened.

“Woah, woah, woah...okay..you’re actually the coolest villain I’ve seen yet! I-If that’s what you are. Are you a villain or do you consider yourself one because I don’t wanna be rude-”

He’s thrown off by the questions, and your compliment. He's tripping over his own words.

“Yes. I uh..think so..? Now will you let me rob this store or-?”

“Not a chance, bud.”

And so the fight begins, branching all across the city as webs are swinging and holes are being thrown.

Judging from your voice, you sounded no older than Miles..and yet here you are actually engaging in the fight instead of texting on your phone and brushing off his attacks, not treating him like a nuisance to get rid of.

It genuinely made Spot emotional when you’re throwing hands on the rooftops and he makes you punch yourself in the face..to which you say “WOW that’s pretty amazing ngl”.

He’s glad he can’t really cry anymore but his voice stays high-pitched and wobbly during the rest of the fight and you even pause to say “are you okay, man?”

He just feels so validated here.

Even as you defeat him and web him up for the cops, he escapes back to his dimension, still wanting his revenge.

But from time to time, he’ll return to yours and demand a “rematch”, with you being more than happy to oblige.

[literaila]

Hey you! <3 I’ve been wanting to send an ask but sending them even in anon gives me anxiety. I’m sorry that I finally got the courage to at possibly the worst moment but Idk when the next time will be.

Idk if it’s just me but that one ending comedy short when Gojo and his students were freaking out about Megumi being seen with a girl, I liked the goofiness of it but mostly hated how they portrayed Satoru as creep. Idk if that was in the manga but whoever green-lit that, wtf 😬 that’s just me. I was just hoping you could rewrite it including reader from TF and however she would react. I can imagine Satoru trying to ruin it but oc is holding him back. Or whatever you can come up with, I’m not creative as you lmao. Sorry if this is too long.

Hoping for a speedy recovery ❤️‍🩹

(PLEASE never fear me and my inbox we are very open and bored constantly. send me a hate anon even!!! i will be inevitably entertained!!)

so i thought about it for… couple hours. and honestly—i can’t see the scenario really playing out if reader were there because she would want to go with megumi wherever he wandered off to… unlike satoru and nobara who are discouraged by the heat

but…

you’re not watching anything, really.

if you’re standing ten feet away from yuji and megumi while they look at some kiosks with ridiculous accessories and good luck charms—the sorts of things that megumi would never buy (you know because anytime satoru picks him out something of the sort you find it in tsumiki’s room a few days later)—then it’s just because you’re browsing.

you are not trying to eavesdrop on their conversation. it’s just that, well, yuji talks a little loud and you’re a naturally curious person.

it’s nothing much.

and you’re definitely not leaning a little bit closer to them every time megumi responds, not trying to hide a grin when you pick up on the conversation that’s going on. you’re shopping. there’s no ulterior motive here.

(but if there were… who could blame you, really? is it so wrong to care about your sons friendship? about the one person he’s acted slightly… reckless towards? your sensible, nonchalant son? the same one who you’ve caught smiling around fives times now?)

still, when satoru sneaks up behind you—resting his head on your shoulder in a split second—you jump a little.

okay. maybe you’ve gotten a bit distracted.

“what are you doing?”

you flinch away from his breath on your ear, your heart picking up almost involuntarily. it’s ridiculous that your body has the urge to shiver, even after a decade of this kind of interruption.

“satoru,” you say, breathing out. you look over to him, where he’s grinning by your side. “i thought you were too exhausted to come.”

“i was. but i caught a scent of some manju nearby.”

you roll your eyes. “of course.”

satoru’s hand sneaks around your waist, his eyes twinkling behind his sunglasses the whole time. you allow it, because you’re stupid, and lean against him.

“and i wanted to check on my wife, of course. make sure she wasn’t wasting away without me.”

“it was mostly the manju though, right?”

he kisses your head, rubbing his nose against your temple. “you’re so cute. have i ever told you that?”

you just roll your eyes again. but don’t bother to push him away—even though it’s dreadfully hot outside and you might die of heatstroke.

at least it’d be a happy death… and satoru’s more likely to share his sweets with you this way.

he hums. “are you going to answer my question?”

“i’m shopping,” you pointedly look away. damn it. he’s distracting you.

megumi and yuji are a couple of stalls away now, and you have to pick up your pace a little bit, so you can catch up to the boys.

satoru laughs. “huh. that’s weird.”

“i don’t know what you’re implying.”

“i could’ve sworn you were attempting to spy on megumi and yuji.”

you give him a glare. and then attempt to pinch the arm clutched to your side, but satoru takes your hand before you get the chance. “i don’t spy, satoru.”

“clearly.”

“did you leave nobara behind? you’re supposed to be watching all of the first years.”

“you think kugisaki is the one i need to keep my eye on?”

you look forward to where megumi and yuji have stalled—the latter placing some ridiculous sunglasses on your usually prickly son. “okay, fair.”

satoru grins at you again.

the two of you share a knowing glance, looking at the boys. there have been many late night discussions about this very subject. many lectures about satoru keeping the very boundaries you’re breaking currently.

but who can blame you? honestly.

“what’d you hear?” he whispers in your ear, already in on this agenda.

your smile is mischievous, and you just open your mouth when there’s another body on your left side, arms already crossed.

“are we watching itadori and fushiguro try to flirt again?” nobara asks.

[terra-sketches]

EXTREMELY LONG CHARACTER ANALYSIS OF GEN NARUMI (ft. his one-sided beef with Kafka Hibino)

(Spoilers for the Kaiju no. 8 manga!!)

Maybe I'm just missing smth but i can't for the LIFE of me gauge Narumi's feelings about Kafka.

Before Isao's absorption, Gen is irritated at the suggestion that the First Division needs help from a daikaiju. He insists that he can handle No. 9 on his own and would rather have Kafka turned into a suit. Harsh. He straight up just sees Kafka as another kaiju and doesn't give a single fuck about Kafka's personal reasons for joining the force.

After Isao gets absorbed, Gen backtracks and is like "never-mind, actually I could use your strength now that I know what we're up against" and that's nice and all but then he's also like "I don't care if you turn into a kaiju, I'll just kill you". So you know, two steps forward, three steps back. He still doesn't want to humanize Kafka and that's??? bizarre to me?? Like Kafka has NEVER wronged Gen or done anything to offend him and yet Gen refuses to acknowledge his humanity more than a simple "We really shouldn't let a solider keep fighting to their detriment.... but I'm gonna ask you to stay anyway"

Gen isn't a heartless asshole, we SEE how chill/informal he can be with Kikoru and the rest of the First Division at times, so wtf is his weirdness with Kafka about? His feelings are a little TOO cold when they realistically should be more on the neutral side (like how Isao felt, a very "nothing personal" vibe).

Then Kafka asks Gen to help with private training and Gen's expression is so unreadable??? Is he mad? Does he care? Wtf is going on? Why is he always glaring at Kafka? Is that just his "serious captain" face? Why'd he activate his kaiju eyes? GEN WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? DO YOU SEE KAFKA AS AN ALLY OR A FOE? AND WHY?

UPDATE: ok so I’ve thought about it while this sat in my drafts and I can answer my own musings.

I take back what I said about Kafka never upsetting Gen.

Yes he did lol, he TOTALLY did.

And Gen won’t get over it anytime soon but he’s making an effort post-Isao's death. To sum it up, they got off on the wrong foot and Gen is still huffy about it.

Gen’s first impression of Kafka amounts to “Dangerous Daikaiju! Almost killed Mr. Isao >:(“ and that negative sentiment bleeds into every future interaction with Kafka. That’s why he’s unusually hostile and apathetic toward Kafka.

I mean, put yourself in Gen’s shoes.

A 9.8 fortitude (highest fortitude recorded in history) daikaiju is discovered to have been living among the humans (huge red flag) at the third division and your mentor (whom you care about a whole lot) wants to poke at it to test its humanity. You would rather just neutralize the threat while it seems docile but noooooooo, everyone wants to see what it can do. So you’re on standby to watch it plead for it’s life to your mentor. First it's a little pathetic, pretty human actully, but then it goes fucking bonkers on your mentor. You’re waiting for the signal to jump in. But Isao won't give the signal even as he's getting his shit rocked. And you’re like, ‘holy shit am I about the watch this man die!? I gotta get tf out there!” Then No. 8 stabs itself in a freak display of "self-control"??? And finally you arrive ready to kill it but Isao tells you not to?? Like “ok, you’re the boss” but now what?? What are they even gonna do with this unpredictable freak?

Next thing you know, Isao wants you to WORK ALONGSIDE the thing that almost killed him? And you’re like “no wtf, I don’t need its help” bc hello?? You don't trust this unstable thing (and you're kinda prideful). However, Isao insists and you respect Isao enough to reluctantly go along with it. You make sure No. 8 knows its place though! If it makes one wrong move then it’s DEAD MEAT!! No. 8 tries to gives some sob story but you don’t care. It proved how dangerous it can be to humans and that makes it just like any other kaiju. It's past as a human doesn't matter anymore.

End scene---

I understand Gen now omg?? He’s just being cautious, protective even. He doesn’t want someone else to fight No. 8 and get themselves killed (also killing one of the strongest recorded daikiaju in history would be a massive ego boost). That’s why he makes it crystal clear that he’ll kill Kafka if anything happens and that's also why Kafka knows to go to Gen to train his kaiju form.

Gen really will just fucking kill him if things go wrong. And Kafka’s okay with that because he gets that he's a threat. (ouch)

Kikoru doesn’t share Gen feelings and that’s only because Kikoru knew Kafka before the Isao vs. No. 8 fight. Kafka saved her twice so she knows he’s a good man. (Even though he beat the shit out of her father LMAO)

[ashwhowrites]

hi shawty bae. may i request a little something where reader was in a horrible, abusive relationship before dating eddie. edward doesn’t know this and one day he reaches up to cup her cheek and be all cute but then she flinches and he’s all like wtf is she scared of me or something?? maybe some miscommunication and fighting. but then in the end he finds out and is groveling and shit. (i’m so sorry if this is too detailed omg 😭😭). i am a bit of a whore for angst to fluff fics. thank you! ps. i love your writing so much 🫶 you’re my primary angst to fluff provider fr.

Definitely. Hopefully this is what you were looking for

Thank you sm!

⚠��� talks of abuse

Eddie Munson had a temper, that was always easy to see. But he'd never harm a fly. Just small outbursts of words.

Y/N was a little nervous when she first began dating Eddie. His temper scared her just a little bit. She got out of an abusive relationship over a year ago and moved as far away from that asshole as she could.

She spent months running and somehow ran right into Eddie's arms. He caught her easily and their relationship began. He doesn't know about her past and she didn't want him to know. She didn't want his pity. She just wanted to be loved without him being cautious around her.

They sat on his couch, watching a movie as they shared popcorn. Hands bump into each other and laugh every time.

Her eyes were locked on the movie but his eyes were locked on her. Moving the bowl out of her lap, grabbing her hips and bringing her on his lap.

"what are you doing?" She giggled

He smiled softly, moving his hand fast to cup her cheek

She flinched instantly and backed her body away

Eddie watched with confused eyes as she crawled off his lap in seconds, hurling herself in the corner of the couch

"what was that?" Eddie questioned, looking over at her

"nothing. Sorry!" She squeaked. Shaking her head at herself. He wasn't going to do anything to her. He was just going to touch her cheek. Why did she have to overreact like that?

"nothing? I went to touch you and you flew across the fucking room" he scoffed.

He had a feeling he knew what it was about. He's known as the town freak, temper tantrums, and trailer trash. Everyone knew his dad was in jail for landing his hands on Eddie's mom. Did she believe he was like that?

"it's just...it's nothing. Look it's fine" she said weakly, moving herself back on his lap

He pushed her off, standing up. Ears hot as his temper rose.

"it's not fine. You agree with them don't you?" He snapped, staring down at her with a heated glare

"what? No Eddie look it's just..."

"JUST WHAT? I'M TRAILER TRASH?"

She flinched as he screamed

"what! No that's not what I was going to say!" She argued

"it's what you are thinking. You are just like the rest of the assholes in school. Think you are so much better than me"

"Eddie if I thought I was better than you why would I date you? I don't care if you live in a trailer" she scoffed.

"then why are you scared for me to touch you? You've done it before. You never let me get close to you or touch you. You think I'm like my dad or something? Don't want to be touched by a freak like me?"

"absolutely not! Eddie just stop and listen to me"

"no just forget it. I don't need this" he scoffed, slamming his bedroom door and locking it behind him

~~

She wasn't sure what she should do. Eddie has been avoiding her for days. She felt horrible. She didn't mean for him to think she thought so low of him. She was trying to get used to being touched in a gentle way.

Every time she tried to walk up to him he'd roll his eyes and walk away.

Were they broken up?

~~

"why are you avoiding your girlfriend?" Steve asked, his hands tapping on the counter as Eddie sat next to him

"she's not my girlfriend anymore" Eddie snapped. Throwing a ball in the air, catching it repeatedly

"what why?" Steve didn't expect that. Those two were smitten with each other.

"she thinks I'm a freak, trailer trash. Doesn't want to be touched by a loser like me whose dad beat women" Eddie said harshly. Squeezing the ball in his hands

"hold on, she said that?" Steve was shocked. That didn't sound like her at all. Steve knew her for years. He remembered when she moved to New York, when she came running back home because her ex abused her.

"well no, but she didn't need to. I'm not fucking stupid. She flinches whenever I touch her. Refused to even be close to me. I was stupid and thought she was different "

"Eddie shit man. You got it all wrong" Steve sighed, rubbing his hands over his face

"do I?" Eddie laughed with no humour

"look I shouldn't be the one telling you this, but she was in an abusive relationship before she came back here. She's still learning to allow herself to be touched. She flinches with everyone. She's learning Eddie" Steve broke down to him gently

Eddie felt every part of anger leave him. Replaced with sadness, guilt and regret

"she what?' he choked out. Already feeling his throat close up

"give her time to talk to you. Stop avoiding her Munson"

~~

Eddie felt like an asshole. He felt horrible, absolutely horrible. He lost his temper on his girlfriend, didn't let her explain herself and shut her out.

The flowers in his hands were getting crushed by how harsh he was holding them

Knocking on her door softly

He felt his eyes get wet when she opened the door. Looking at her beautiful and soft face. How could anyone ever lay a hand on her?

"oh Eddie? Come on in" she said quietly, opening the door

"these are for you" Eddie said quietly, handing her the flowers

"um why? Aren't you...like mad at me?" She squeaked out. Nervously chewing on her lip as she grabbed the flowers

"no. I never should have gotten mad in the first place. I didn't let you explain. And I think I should" Eddie didn't want her to know that he knew. Let her tell him on her own time

"I'm sorry" she choked out. Tears in her eyes, "I didn't want you to think I thought of you that way. I never thought of you like that"

Eddie choked back his own tears. Watching as she cried, hands clenching the flowers.

"you have no reason to be sorry. You did nothing wrong" Eddie reassured her. Feeling more like a dick that she felt like it was her fault

"can I....can I just hug you?" He asked, puppy eyes looking at her softly

She took a deep breath and a small nod. Eddie slowly walked towards her, he wrapped his arms around her. Feeling her body go stiff but allowing her time to accept it.

She slowly wrapped her arms around him. Nuzzling her face in his neck

"that's good" he said softly, holding her close. Heart warming as she melted into him

"I'm not good at being touched. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings" she whispered in his neck. He could feel her tears running down her cheeks.

"shh. I hurt my own feelings by making shit up. Want to talk about it?" He asked, pulling away and looking down at her

She set down the flowers walking over to her couch. Eddie followed silently behind her. Sitting close but not touching her

"before I came back here, I lived in New York. I fell in love with a boy. He was sweet and amazing. He made me feel things I didn't know existed. Then I found him cheating on me" Eddie's stomach dropped as she cried harder. How could anyone cheat on her?

"so I confronted him. And he...he hit me. He apologized for it so we moved on from it. But then he kept cheating, and the hitting became a daily occurrence. I was scared to leave. I was scared to move a muscle. But I finally made it out. And I met you. And those feelings I had for him in the beginning were coming back, but for you. I never once believed and I still don't believe you'd ever hurt me. But my body sometimes acts on its own"

Eddie listened closely, nodding along as his heart broke more and more.

He reached out his hand, softly grabbing hers. She flinched but he didn't care. Holding her hand tightly as she allowed herself to get used to it.

"look at that. You did it" he praised, kissing her hand softly. Proud of her for not pulling away

"I'm sorry for being an idiot. I'm sorry for everything. I should have given you time and been more understanding. I would love to still be together but I completely understand if you want to break up"

She shook her head instantly, "no. I want to be with you" she said desperately. Moving her hands to touch his face softly

"we'll go slow. We'll work on this together. Just me and you" he said, moving in closer

She smiled, locking their lips together as they shared a small but tender kiss

"thank you" he whispered, kissing her cheek as he held her hand closer to his body.

Both came from pasts they wanted to erase

But a future they couldn't wait to create

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @slightlyvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergent @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming

@eddiemunsonsbitch69

[kirisaki-daichi-scenarios]

the boys as bodyguards

dedicated to absolutely no one. sure this is an asks blog - does that mean i have to actually answer them? i know i know bad admins bad admins whatcha gonna do whatcha gonna do when they come for you but i had a dream ages ago now that involved bodyguards, tsunamis, and also a shit ton of murder. don't ask. anyway, it got me pondering. and then it took literal months to write this so i figured i'd post what i've got so far, and maybe i'll update with the rest of the boys later, depending on how well this does/how much time i have

hanamiya makoto

hanamiya’s the package deal

he’s the chief advisor; he’s the doctor; he’s the bodyguard; he’s the sniper. just a right hand man in every way possible.

i mean, he’s not literally your right hand man: he’s the leader of a team, and often it’ll be one of his men there next to you at events, but he’s always supervising or coordinating or collecting intel

ie he’s dedicated to his job. he does like engineering spider’s webs after all.

having said that, he’s also an uncontrollable prick

he’s the best at giving you advice, both in terms of navigating high society and in terms of actual business advice, but is he going to give that advice without slipping in a snide comment about how you should really know all this by now? when you tell him to make sure to take a break some time, is he going to stop himself from saying “maybe if you weren’t so incredibly useless on your own, i’d be able to.”

and sure maybe he’s breaking the universal declaration of human rights with what he does to the people who dare to try harm you, but you don’t know about that

need to know basis type beat

you don’t even have access to the full floor plans of your own property, which includes a basement you’ll never know about, let alone step foot in. hanamiya keeps that information very close to his chest.

gotta make sure his employer has plausable deniability

gotta make double sure that you don’t find out about half the things he does - from the ways he sources his information, to his very dodgy organised crime links, to the number of people that have sadly lost their lives in the name of “fuck it, you’re pissing me off” - because he hates when you bang on about bullshit like “laws” and “morals”

after all, if everyone followed your beloved laws and morals, then you’d have no need for his services

as he always tells you, he’s just your pet necessary evil

yamazaki hiroshi

i reckon he only got into the bodyguard business because he spent his childhood wanting to be a samurai but, well you know, that’s not really a job opportunity anymore

what it does mean though is that he’s all about bushido: mastering his work, bravery, honesty, etc - and above all else loyalty to one’s employer

on a random thursday afternoon, he’ll tell you, completely nonchalantly, straight face, “i would die for you if that’s what it takes. on my life, i’ll always keep you safe.”

you’re staring at him like wtf and/or trying to stop yourself blushing, but he thinks that’s a completely normal thing to say cause he’s just following bushido

of course, late one night, he’ll wake up realise how weird that came across and he’ll spend the next week trying not to blush whenever you talk to him

just like the time he spent a week kicking himself after you walked in on him training, shirtless and rather sweaty, and when you told him he should take a break, he said “but i need to train so my body can be at its best for you”

again, at the time that sounded very reasonable, serious, and totally bushido to him. it’s only later that he’s freaking out in his room like why in god’s name did he say that.

but hey that’s bodyguard!yamazaki for you. a little weird, a little socially inept, but loyal to a fault

haizaki shougo

can you imagine the number of jobs that this man has lost for sleeping on the job?

he’s only got his current gig looking after you because his prices are cheaper and you were getting desperate to find someone in your budget

he’s a ...uhh… unique bodyguard? in the sense that he’ll get you out of harms way eventually, but "eventually" is the key word there

haizaki actively ignores intel that a certain location might be dangerous, because he really just wants to get into fights. sure you might get in the way occasionally, maybe even get some nasty bruises, but hey you get what you pay for.

you want a good bodyguard, save up some money, idiot.

literally the only reason he got into being a bodyguard is so he can beat people up legally (and because he got dishourably discharged from the military); he doesn’t care that much about the whole ‘protecting’ side of things

he’s also the type to ditch you the minute a better paying job comes up (possibly combat work as a mercenary). however he’s not as cold-hearted as he may seem, and he’ll happily spend a day of leave breaking into your penthouse

so that when you return in the evening, he’s there sat on an armchair, grinning smugly, “man your security’s turned to shit since i left.”

shortly followed by, “miss me?”

jason silver

jason’s the quintessential bodyguard, cause, after all, having a very muscular 6’11 man follow you everywhere you go isn’t exactly subtle

but he’s recognisable for other reasons as well.

like the fact that he’ll accompany you to formal balls, and he’ll be the only man there with an undone tie - it’s such a massive argument trying to get him to wear an appropriate suit instead of his usual hoodies and sweatpants, that can anyone blame you for not having the energy to insist he stops undoing his tie as well?

he’s also not exactly one for professionality. like you’ll be minding your business, trying to network, and suddenly you’ll hear a wolf whistle by your ear and a “wouldn’t mind me a bit of that”

“jason, that’s the ambassador to norway. we’re having her over for dinner next week, so, with all due respect, shut the fuck up. and whisper next time, for heaven’s sake! what if someone had heard you?”

“shit, is it a crime to like some nice tits in this economy?”

and when you glare at him, genuinely furious, he grins, puts his hands up, and says, “sorry, sorry. forgot you don’t like me having eyes for anyone else, boss.”

but don’t get me wrong, jason’s not all evil contra to fujimaki’s propaganda

he is an incredibly good bodyguard - those animal instincts really help him out when it comes to getting you out of a sniper’s line of sight, or saving you from a bullet, or just assessing a room for potential entry points. and he packs a mean punch if anyone tries to try something on you, a solid ko.

no one’s getting past him essentially

the only problem is that it’s incredibly difficult to thank jason for saving your life, cause the last thing he needs is an ego boost or feeling like you owe him.

“seriously jason. i don’t know how i can ever repay you.”

“usually the payslip’s enough,” he smirks, “but you know that little lady ambassador-“

unsuprisingly, he’s not invited to the dinner.

[moonlight-sonata99]

My headcanons of The Bad Batch falling in love with a jedi

SO... i wrote a thing, I want to get better at writing so i'm hoping to write more of these!!please note that i've written before when i was 12- im 18 now XD so i hope to get better!!

For now, Please enjoy my headcanons for The Bad Batch!!!

My headcanons The Bad batch falling in love with a jedi reader

Sidenote

Takes place after order 66,Reader was a Jedi knight who was once mace windu’s padawan. And reader is based off a oc of a another fanfic in the works!

Hunter

 Loml💖💖💖

Hmmm hunter I imagine a very VERY slow burn for him. Not to say that the rest of batch would be slow but I feel hunter would take extremely long at realizing his feelings

The man literally was a soldier then a dad-

So imagine his feelings when he and the reader actually start getting close. His heart would go doki doki and he would just be like.. wtf?

And obviously omega has to like you,how would she not like you?

Hunter will fall even harder when he sees the reader having a genuine interaction with omega.

Even though they're gone I still wanna add them so…

Cut lawquane and Suu already know what's up. Hunter can't hide it from them.

So does Rex, I'd like to think that Rex would be happy seeing his comrade falling in love after such events happened. 

Hunter tried to ignore these feelings but..it doesn't work. They just grew. 

As time passes he stars accepting that he MAY like(love) you 

And recently with his heightened senses he has been feeling eyes on him…

Overall very confused at first and takes the time to think about his feelings.

Echo

Like hunter he would be slow but not that slow, considering reader is a Jedi and went through order 66 they would have trauma. 

Enter trauma buddies

I vision the reader befriending echo first. Due to the fact that echo knows how scared you might be of clones at the moment. 

Despite being a bit grumpy echo is very sweet. He's very considerate of your needs. And with time,He knows what triggers you. He also weirdly helps you to open up more but you remain very quiet. 

Friends to lovers trope ftw- 

It would begin when the batch and reader are on a mission for Sid when things go wrong, as usual. And reader gets lightly hurt and echo's freaking out 

Then he hears a laugh 

"Won't you calm down? I just sprained my foot. I can heal it" you chuckle with a gentle smile 

And echo's face just goes red

Also to note, this man will ALWAYS be at your side. He's a puppy and it's adorable.

Also staying up late and planning for future missions are yours and echo's thing don't @ me. 

Tech

ayo this GIF

OOHH  I just love this man's to he reminds me of myself knowing a lot of useless info-

 I think tech isn't very shy? Maybe to an extent!but i think he wouldn't really show much as the others.

 in the beginning you and tech wouldn't be very close,but one day you ask him what he's working on  out of boredom and he goes on to tell you the whole declaration of independence-

he's used to people zoning out while he's explaining (cough) wrecker (cough)

but no, to his surprise you're still actually interested!!

and you listened.

after this tech somewhat limits himself to talking to much but he always ends up getting lost in his words. Especially if what peaked his interest is in depth. But you never seem to mind.

Like echo he would be next to you always. His go to if you will when he needs help

And get ready from a lot of questions about jedis and the order i feel like he would be very curious about that topic.once you get comfortable talking about it of course.

a couple of months  with being with the batch you go on a separate mission on a lead that your old master might be alive.

after you first told the batch of this tech was strangely quiet for the rest of your time there…

Wrecker

•Ngl I haven't really thought about this one, But I'll try my best!!!

•wrecker is a very fun loving man, and that's very admirable. 

• I imagine wrecker would be the one to get readers out of their shell more faster than the other guys. 

•What do you expect? He's so lovable. 

•but this of course didn't come with its own trial and errors…

•in the early stages there were sometimes where he would try to help you out, however this meant grabbing you and throwing you up a high wall when you could've forced jumped-

•as you can imagine reader was caught of guard °_°

•But all was forgiven when the wrecker sought you out privately and awkwardly apologized.

 •for falling in love. The feeling would come to him awkwardly and he somewhat embraces that! 

 •this would include giving you random trinkets that remind you of him

•inviting you out to his tradition with omega after missions

•being protective during missions

•compliments 

•being very obvious.

•I mean…More obvious than hunter and echo combined.

Crosshair

Damn that gif STGG

•whoever told you this mf would be sweet to you if he ever did like you-

•idk what to tell you💀💀

•you know that thing children do when they have a crush on another kid and there just mean to them?

•that's crosshair. 

•I knowW this man would be anything but nice to you.

•and that because he's most likely not used to liking someone.

•that being said, I read somewhere that crosshair would make you chase after him. I find that true imo, idk it just makes sense to me he would do that-

•BUT I do also think he would be the one who lowkey flirts with you the most but he would be very VERY subtle,And only do it when he gets comfortable with you. Examples being when you and him would be bickering and he would say something that would make you stay quiet and he uses that God daMn nice voice of his-  or with subtle touches.

• I do like to think that as time passes by he gets a bit more bolder and somewhat overprotective-

•also the reader actually taking the time to know crosshair would be very appealing to him I think, I just feel crosshair needs someone to talk to in Canon, just don't let him know you're a Jedi🗿

Uhh idk how to end these,..but i do really hope to write more!! as for request im not sure about that just yet!!anyways if you read this far thank you!! please be kind as this is my first time writing this kind of stuff;; okay enjoy TBB and stay safe!!!!

[prismuffin]

Hello! Hope you doing good my friend!

Can I request Luther Hargreeves x himbo male reader. It can be headcanons or one-shot I don't mind.

Don't feel pressured to do this I understand if you don't wanna write it. But if you do thank you!

-Mark🐻

A/n: MARK ONE OF MY FAVES ofc you can have a Luther Hargreeves x male reader fic🫶🫶 I chose headcanons but who knows maybe I'll do a little drabble with this idea too

Jacked Dumbasses

Luther Hargreeves x male!himbo!reader (Headcanons)

( summary: you’re a himbo Luther keeps seeing at the gym and he can’t help but gain a crush on you from afar [headcanons] )

Warnings?: Light swearing, two golden retriever boyfriends, readers kinda a gym bro

!more under the cut!

Pre-Relationship Tingz:

-The first time Luther ever saw you was at his local gym

-The first thing he noticed was how jacked you were, obviously

-as a gym bro himself he respected your grind and found himself watching you whenever he took breaks

-he started to notice more things about you besides your muscles like, well, your face, specifically how attractive he found you. But when he'd first started finding you attractive he would just brush it off as him having a little but of envy even though he was bigger than you (muscle wise)

-when he started noticing himself becoming sad whenever you didn't show up to the gym that week he knew he was in deep shit

-^started looking forward to gym days even more just knowing that he could see you

-one day you guys happened to have lockers near each other in the changing rooms.

-Que flustered Luther trying not to stare and do double takes as he sees you in nothing but a towel

-^You noticing Luther's stares OH SHI-

-^^Him immediately throwing out some random question to make it seem as though he just turned to ask you something.

-"Do you think fish get thirsty?" "...Probably, but then they could just open their mouths and get a drink...damn fish are really living on a different level."

-Thank god you entertained his stupid random question.

-Since that day whenever you spot Luther you'll give him a big smile, wave, maybe make some small talk

-Giving Luther your Instagram after a while of being gym bros

-^Him playing it cool but completely freaking out when you leave

-^^HE DIDNT EVEN HAVE AN INSTAGRAM???? WTF IS AN INSTAGRAM???

With the help of Allison, Diego, and Klaus (Yes, it took that many people) he finally makes an Instagram account and adds you. After basically stalking your Instagram he finally decides to shoot you a DM telling you that it was Luther

-and so, the both of you started talking in and out the gym which eventually led to the two of you becoming friends

-You were the first one to ask the other to hang out. As Luther was spotting you, you'd just asked him if he wanted to get drinks with you later that night. He deadass almost dropped the barbell.

-He was very nervous to hang out with you outside of a gym setting but it didn't turn out as terrible as he thought. I mean he freaked out a little bit when he woke up in your bed but you assured him that nothing had happened between the both of you, he was just such a lightweight that he ended up blacking out so you had to carry him home.

-^Hold the fuck up, did you just say you CARRIED HIM????

-He asked if he did anything bad and you just told him that he ranted a ton about the moon and his dad and then started crying. But you helped him calm down and got him back to your apartment so that he could rest.

-^^He was very embarrassed but was glad that you had his back

Relationship Tingz:

-Super touch starved so he adores hugs from you, especially if you lift him up.

-You're both very macho men so doing things like cuddling can be a little difficult for the both of you, specifically because of Luther's mutation.

-^Still you do often show him that it's not impossible by allowing him to be the little spoon or carrying him to bed when he's too tired

-You guys cuddling together turns into two grown buff men just sprawled out in all directions on the bed, it truly is a sight to see.

-His love language is Physical Touch and Words of Affirmations so he's almost always touching you in some way

-Loves it when you kiss his jaw and forehead

-If you're somehow taller than him he'll just be infatuated with you even more

-He's very impressed by your strength and vice versa. It's both a blessing and a curse for the both of you.

-Things constantly breaking in the apartment from your clumsiness and him not knowing his own strength at times.

-^He's broken the microwave and washing machine doors multiple times whenever he tries to use either of them after waking up.

-^^One time he felt super guilty about breaking the microwave and you didn't want him to feel bad so you told him it was fine and that it was a completely normal thing that can happen, (it's really not), and you showed him this...by breaking your toaster, just smashing it and then going "See?? Happens all the time." :)

-You guys having compliment wars where you'll go back and forth about who's stronger, prettier, funnier, etc.

-You both tend to get very excited over little things and it just makes the entire relationship more wholesome. One time you saw a frog at the park while the two of you were on a walk and you guys spent 10 minutes gushing over the frog and taking pictures of and with it.

-He loves seeing you happy cause it makes him happy and seeing him happy makes you super happy which in turn makes him extremely happy, its just one big happy cycle.

-When he tells you he has superpowers you were actually very hype about it. You asked him what it was and when he said super strength you thought he was just making a joke about being really strong since the both of you work out a lot. He eventually had to just prove it to you by like throwing a car and punching through a brick wall without any consequences. After he bent a post-light into a balloon dog shape you believed him. The rest of that night was filled with him doing a ton of cool stuff with his powers to make you laugh. Yes, there may have been tons of vandalism but at least it was all super cool to watch.

-He was hesitant on you meeting his family for many, many different reasons but when you did finally meet them they were shocked and yet they were expecting exactly this at the same time. Klaus was pretty much just like "Yep. This is what I expected." Though he was very fascinated with your muscles which you were more than happy to show off, flexing and such as he pokes your biceps which made Luther pull you back a bit. Viktor and Allison were very happy for Luther while Diego and Five were just shocked that there was someone out there even dumber than Luther. Of course Ben was also just happy for his brother :) ...but he was also questioning how anyone could be dumber than Luther. Diego tries to tease you but stuff just flies over your head and Allison just finds the whole thing so adorable.

-Because of your physique you often get girls and some men coming up to you for compliments or asking for your number. Luther tends to get jealous very easily but a simple kiss on the cheek and a hug can knock him out of that state pretty quickly. At times you're oblivious to the flirting and usually Luther is too, but when it hits him that a person is flirting with you he'll get very anxious and triggered and he'll end the conversation as quickly as possible and he'll be very touchy with you afterwards. You usually won't notice the switch in attitude since he's already a very touchy person so you don't think much of it when he pulls you a bit closer, you'll just hug him tighter and smile at him which unknowingly calms him down.

-Overall, the two are a couple of jacked dumbasses but that's fine. At least you both care and love each other :)

----!----

sorry if this felt a bit short

Thanks for reading! Have a great day/night!!

My requests are OPEN so feel free to request anything! Just make sure you check out my Request Info!

Masterlist

[xelmokidx]

Hii can I request headcanons on how Ray from Mid90s would be like as an older brother with the reader as his little sister? I feel like he'd be the type to tease his little sibling and act like they're a baby even tho there's only a 2 year age gap- I feel like he'd be fun to gossip with aswell, the insults he'd pull out about people you have beef with would probably be SO funny

omg this is soo cuteeeeeeeee

ray x f!platonic!sibling!reader

So freaking protective it’s insane

like he will not leave you alone with any boy ever

maybe the group, like they are def an exception

((but not fuckshit, he’s way too horny))

teasing is always and forever

“ur short” “:(“

when you try to do it back he just laughs it off

but sometimes when you actually do a good burn, he is equally impressed and offended

Ray-“I mean you are a young stupid kid, no wonder why you look like that.”

-Y/n-“ damn, I can’t believe your ugly and mean, pick a struggle asswipe”

ray-“🤯”

will always call you a baby

whether it’s derogatory or not

if you fall and cry , you’re a baby

if you are talking to someone you are vibing with and want to date, you can’t, you’re only a baby

it gets to a point where the rest of the group starts to call you a baby( with fuckshit calling you babygirl as a way to flirt)

trying teach you to skate when you guys where younger

but you sucked, so he stopped trying to teach you

(you where so saddened by the fact that he stopped teaching you that he gave you thirty dollars( which was his life savings) and promised that you could hang out with his friend sometimes)

((you never stopped hanging out with his friends))

you have sad puppy dog eyes that will change any decision he has into your favor

They also work on every single one of the boys

you, Stevie and Ruben complain about being the youngest kids in the group

hanging out with Estée and asking for girl stuff bc you have a stupid skater older brother and all of you guys’ conjoined friends are guys you have no clue about anything girly

speaking on girl stuff, the day you got your period for the first time was in front of the boys

they literally thought you were dying

ray was so concerned and started to cry

you where also terrified but you knew that all girls went through this cycle

you called Estée to help you and she explained everything to them

I like to thing that the reader is sorta popular at school, which is contrary to ray who only hangs out with fuckshit and fourthgrade in school

gossiping w/ ray after school at the nearby taco shop 🔛🔝‼️‼️

him actually being interested but acting like he doesn’t care is so funny to me omg

will buy you any little random thing that remind him of you

You being on fourthgrades films seems so cute to me hold on

like he’ll be filming you and ray coming like “wtf are you doing get that camera off of my baby sister”

and you are equally parts touched by his protectiveness and annoyed

okay that’s all I cnat think up rn

plsssssss send more request im begging 🙏

[dr-brainrot]

Alastor's Time Alive + Deal Theory

You know why it’s important to know who Alastor’s victims were?

Because it’ll explain A LOT.

If Alastor was just another run of the mill serial killer, he probably killed for the thrill coupled with ego, trauma, and untreated psychological issues. His victims either had no connection, or they had a hyper specific trait but they were innocent people. Think Joker.

HOWEVER, let's say Alastor killed not so great people. Rapists, abusers, violent people, etc. I’m imagining a vigilante taking the law into their own hands. Alastor gets a thrill of living the double life while also feeling power over taking out shitty people. This would make sense given what we already see from him in the show. To our knowledge he doesn’t go after lesser sinners unless they cross him, he takes out big overlords, and anyone’s soul he has tied to him doesn't seem physically tethered to him. The souls he has (Husk, Nifty?) appear to live their lives until Alastor calls on them. This is much more humane (for hell) compared to certain overlords we’ve seen (*cough*Valentino*cough*).

So what? Alive Alastor (possibly) kills shitty people, gets a thrill from getting away with it and the power trip, he dies because he was sloppy with one of the bodies, and seems to be continuing his hunt for power and dominance in hell. Why does this change anything?

Because that would make him complex. Instead of just being this serial killer, he’s a serial killer with a vigilante complex and some sort of moral code. 

And him being complex could point to who his deal is with and what his deal could be related to.

When Alastor is freaking out, he mentions “Once I figure out how to unclip my wings.” I don’t think this is alluding to Alastor being an angel (saint? Since he’s human idk if it's an angel), but it might allude to Alastor having a deal with an angel. But who? Haven’t we met all possible angels? Not necessarily.

Where’s Eve?

You’re telling me that the woman who ate the apple, a pretty significant part in bringing evil to earth, Adam’s second wife, is NOWHERE TO BE SEEN??? Yeah, no. 

Adam and Eve are probably estranged, given Adam seems very interested in every other woman except Eve. I’m wondering if Eve would take the role of a 50s trad wife? I think the guilt and shame Lucifer has for being a fallen angel and his hand in bringing evil to the world could be mirrored in Eve, where she tries her best to be the perfect wife, perfect woman, to repent for her mistakes. She’s allowed in Heaven because she begs for forgiveness. 

When the first extermination happens, she probably went down to Hell with Adam, to see what her actions resulted in. She gets to Hell and is shocked with what she sees. She sees sinners, but she also sees how complicated sinners are. They have families, there’s children down here, some sinners are trying to protect their loved ones from the extermination, fearful for their lives. She can’t unsee the human in the sinners.

And then she runs into Alastor, who just so happened to take a stroll to see where all these angels are coming from and wtf is going on??? Eve sees Alastor and she just has this gut feeling about him. A killer sure, but he was as complex as any of the other sinners down here.

So she goes up to him.

She talks with him and thinks that his actions were brutal, but he wasn’t killing anyone who’d be missed. He had a very specific moral code, with twisted execution, and probably grew up in a traumatizing environment. She sees how powerful he is and, while standing in the middle of blood and carnage, she makes a deal with him. She’ll give him some of her angelic powers under the condition that he will be her Hell diplomat, making sure Hell isn’t screwed over completely by Heaven. I feel like Eve would have a soft spot for Hell and its sinners and would feel bad that she got to go to Heaven, even with her sin, while the rest rot in Hell. Alastor 100% agrees because hell yeah more power. Eve’s first order is for Alastor to go down to Earth and make sure there are still sinners coming into Hell, even with the extermination happening. 

So that’s what he does. He’s on Earth making sure souls come to hell for 7 years. Which would make sense of why Alastor knows modern slang in Stayed Gone. Granted he could have heard it in Hell, but he hasn't been in hell for the past 7 years, so how tf would his great depression ass know what a podcast is? I think Heaven would hear the news about Charlie’s hotel (They know about Angel Dust, they’re somewhat aware of the goings on in Hell) but because they thought it was a fruitless plan they didn’t really care, except for Eve. Eve eventually hears about Charlie’s idea and immediately wants to help her, sending Alastor back to hell to keep an eye on her and her hotel. Cue season 1.

This would make sense of why Alastor thought he could take on Adam without angelic weapons. He was already given some angelic powers, surely he’d be strong enough to hold his own! Until he gets his ass handed to him. Cue freak out. 

I think the correlation between Lilith and Alastor both disappearing 7 years ago is just a coincidence, I think Lilith’s deal with Adam is separate from Alastor’s deal with Eve. I have other thoughts on Lilith and Adam’s deal but that’s for another post lol.

And I'm also operating under the impression that the exterminations have been going on for 7 years and not longer, but again that's another post.

I’d love to hear other theories! I’m still on the fence on Eve's motivations, and also her relationship to Lucifer? Like were they actually- uh… bow chika wow wow-ing??? What would that mean for Lucifer and Lilith’s relationship? Is Eve a jealous ex trying to get into the royal hell family??? That would mess up the story we’re told in the beginning, though I doubt the book was written with truth at the forefront (possibly propaganda). Honestly I’m buzzing with theories🤯

[houserautha]

Omg parts 5 and 6 killed me 😔😔 love that reader is a fighter and doesn’t take shit (in some twisted way, I suppose it’s a compliment that she could only be taken out by poison up to that point cause she’s such a threat…? Plus now reader gets poison training which is amazing in itself - it’s good for her and also a great, even if twisted, way for them to bond). I loved the tension and build up throughout all these chapters leading up to what happens in 6 😭😭😭 I screamed at the ending of 6 tho cause it was like… wtf…. That was amazing but also…. 🥲 damn reader’s just laying there like 😐 what have I gotten myself into

building on what you posted on your musings - I can’t help but wonder what’s Feyd’s pov throughout these chapters. Did he get obsessed after she argued back and slapped him (cause he immediately shifted from being like “you’re my future wife” to calling her “wife” alr lol)? Then there’s that comment about how reader alr holds considerable sway over him at the dinner 😭 Where did he go after watching her take down the first guy during the crucible?? Why didn’t he watch the rest of it?? 😭 also him noticing the page she was on while taking the book away + saying he could never deny her + admitting she’s basically driving him crazy too - I am deceased 😔

As always thanks for sharing your work ❤️❤️❤️

Oh yes, in my head reader couldn’t be a Bene Gesserit like her mother so she channeled all of her energy into learning how to fight. (She secretly just wants her mother’s love and respect🥲) And I think poison training is just a neat thing for reader and Feyd to have in common, especially since poison is such a big deal in the books as weapons. And it goes with my HC of Feyd doing it just to fuck with people😂😂

The end of part 6, I really think reader had just been fucked into oblivion by a bald freak (and she loved it) and had to reevaluate all of her life choices up to that point😂 She also was like you’re not going to help clean up???

UGH I love Feyd I wish I could post his POV about everything. Reader definitely slapped him and he wanted to get down on one knee. Like she was wifed up from that moment on. I also think reader subconsciously knows that he would do anything for her (kind of going back to his obsessive personality).

During the fight, he like 5000% knew she would kick ass because he can detect other great fighters pretty easily. But he needed to confirm. He saw her take down the guy in .0001 seconds and was like, “yeah she got this, that’s my wife”. In my head he also left because he knew it would piss her off😂 who knows where he went, he didn’t tell me lol, he does what he wants

I love their relationship so much😭 he’s just a little bald freak obsessed with his wifey. I added the book part too because it’s like he’s being an asshole but he also cares for her in his own way so he reflexively remembered the page number

And thank you for your kind words!! I’m glad you’re liking the story🥰 I love talking about it

(I can’t wait for you to read the next part👀😏)

[givemeanaccountalready]

Prev

So while that happens, the entirety of the Hidden Leaf are freaking tf out. Not only did they just lose the first (publicly known) Wood Release user since Lord First immediately after they got her, but they also lost the jinchuuriki too. Anyone who is not in Root has no clue who Sai is or where he came from (hint: inside the walls). It is a disaster.

Sai and Sakura had their little bout of fisticuffs in the Academy schoolyard. Sasuke saw the Wood Release and is like, that might be useful, I need to learn that. He leaves to try and find out where they could have gone. Unlike the adults who are rightfully going wtf, Sasuke is like, sick jutsu bro. He finds Sakura’s little hideout and her diary with all her notes inside. Any pretense of not caring beyond learning a rad new jutsu flies out the treehouse as he sees various mentions of this “Keigo” guy (Sakura named Sai Keigo because he called her Ugly in an attempt to give her a friendly nickname and she cried (no self-esteem), forcing him to explain what the hell he was thinking. Since he told her to give him a name since he didn’t have one and kept being rude, she named him “Polite Speech” as a middle finger) and Naruto is the son of the Nine Tails (that was her best theory, cut her some slack, she was 11 when she came up with it). Sasuke firmly believes that this Keigo guy is an enemy nin who is using his classmates, and decides, yeah I can rescue them because he’s 12 and never not been able to figure shit out. How hard could a rescue op be?

Very hard is the answer. He is able to leave a shadow clone behind to get his classmates (you know, all the clan heirs that you don’t want to lose) to leave the village with him to “find Naruto and Sakura” (really, it’s to throw the searchers off and cause a distraction so he can solve the issue and leverage them for answers about Naruto’s relationship to the Nine Tails). Sasuke is also stuck with this old guy who claims he’s Jiraiya of the Sannin, but really, he’s just a dirty, old man who keeps chasing skirts at every rest stop they’re at. It’s annoying, but the guy might die if Sasuke leaves him alone because if he keeps calling himself a Sannin, people are going to try and kill him. Sasuke still can’t quite believe that Jiraiya is Jiraiya of the Sannin, even after he meets Tsunade. He’s not entirely convinced Tsunade is Tsunade Senju either, and feels for Shizune. Shizune is trying her very best not to laugh at Jiraiya and Tsunade when Sasuke is like, yeah, sure you’re a Sannin, and I have a loving, living family, now chop, chop, put the vices down, we got idiots to hunt down.

These are the shitpost meme esque vibes I got going on:

Jiraiya: “Dear God, whoever took them must be a master of evasion.”

Cut to the three idiots arguing over whether moss only grows on the north side of trees. They personify the song “Lost” from the Percy Jackson musical

Sai: “This would be so much easier if we still had a map.”

Sakura: “It was an accident! You make dinner next time!”

Sai: 100% earnest “Sure, I like eating things with flavor.”

Sakura: “Why you little-” Homer Simpson chokes him

Naruto: holding up the charred remains of their map “Hold on guys, I think we might be near this little, not burnt bit.”

Sai: “No, we’re not. We passed that point two days ago.”

Naruto: “Maybe we went in a circle?”

Sakura: “FUCK!”

Sasuke: goes up to the sleeping Jiraiya “WAKEY WAKEY” immediately uses a water jutsu to drown him awake

Jiraiya: “AAAAAAH!!” Coughs up water “I taught you that jutsu so you could put out any fires started by your Fire Release practice on your own.”

Sasuke: “I’d say a dumpster fire counts.”

Danzo: looks up from his desk “Why do I hear boss music?”

A wild Itachi appears

Tsunade: “Let me get this straight. The Hidden Leaf lost two Academy students who not only were they the worst in their physical training scores, but they also have the potential to be some of the biggest powerhouses in this generation. And you two are their only hope at finding them because the Leaf doesn’t want to alert the other villages to what they lost by sending out an actual search party?”

Sasuke: “Yup.”

Jiraiya: “That pretty much covers it. So? Will you help us?”

Tsunade: starts cackling

[xanadontit]

My friend D really wants me and E (aka Beloved Uncle E to her toddler) to come up to visit their new house, ideally for an overnight, and theoretically this would be fine. I enjoy her company and the kids are great and we can take them to the park or just hang out. Whatever works, and I know toddlers and babies aren’t predictable so I’m willing to go with the flow as far as plans. 

But I’m not sure I will be able to resist lunging at her husband or shoving his pitching wedge up his ass if he doesn’t get his shit together.

A refresher: they have a 3.5 year-old (the toddler who adores E lol) and a five month old baby girl (who is being breastfed as much as D can, with some pumping and regular formula). They just moved about 2 hours from here, the couple is both WFH, and the kids are in daycare. It’s been a lot of change in the span of 5 months! But all things they discussed at length and part of The Plan.

On Sunday D wasn’t feeling so hot and turns out she had a fever; this is after a few days of being primary caregiver for the baby who had an ear infection which came on the heels of toddler bringing home some kind of day care funk. D managed to convince her husband she needed some rest and he’d need to mind the kids once she showed him the thermometer which...wtf. He regularly naps and leaves her to entertain both children and doesn’t even have the decency to say “since I got rest I’ll do dinner or bath” or something useful. 

Yesterday she was feeling better, nursing the baby, and asked her husband who was getting himself some water in the kitchen if he could prep a bottle (it’s not unusual for her to “top off” the baby with some formula after a nursing session). Dude freaked out about how frustrating it’s been to have to hold her hand through this post partum time and that he’s struggling with how she can’t seem to manage both kids. Please bear in mind that he was not on his way out the door to perform life saving brain surgery, and it was a request along the lines of “since you’re up, can you do this when you’re done with your thing, please?” All the supplies to make a bottle were at his fingertips. Truly some bare minimum shit. Also, she managed both kids during her maternity leave and he has yet to be alone with both of his children. So who’s not managing what now?

Why wouldn’t you want to hold your partner’s (metaphorical) hand after she had your child? Why wouldn’t you want to be part of making sure your children are fed? What is going through this person’s head?

I know E and I have it pretty easy: no kids, we’re both able to manage our own stuff, and we have a division of labor that works for us for the most part. I’m trying to imagine a life where one of us is struggling and the other person’s response is “this is annoying and I wish you were more fun.” Like what if when E’s dad died I said “your crying is really bumming me out - could you please get happy?” What in the Cluster B Personality Disorder is that? Sometimes I get scared that if we had a child things would be different between us, given how many women say “I didn’t think it would be like this. I thought we were partners.”*

I love my friend dearly and want to support her but it’s getting harder not to say “leave him - you’ll be fine and he’ll be back to eating In N Out for dinner every day” even though it’s absolutely true.

*This is from hetero couples, I’ll acknowledge that.