#the rest of my usual pain is pretty bearable in comparison really

[running-in-the-dark]

it really was one of those days. but my partner just helped me tidy up the chaos in my room enough so that it doesn't bother me anymore. I'm thiiiis close to being done unpacking and putting away my things!!

now, that's only specifically my things. there's still a lot of other stuff left (kitchen and living room stuff mostly). but that's not as complicated so it won't be as difficult - once the kitchen is actually finished lol

sigh. today appears to be a lie in bed all day kinda day. I tried to get back to organising earlier and it just wasn't working. I'm so tired.

[somevirtualnolife]

Frostbitten

2120 Words Rating: G (T if you count the word tit) Pairing: Male Mage Trevelyan x Cassandra Summary: It’s cold out there, looking for Skyhold.

Previous One Shot: Flatterer

Author’s Notes: More like Frost-smitten amiright. Some more slow-burning fluff between my Inquisitor and Cassandra. Apologies for any typos and the like.  

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“I dun believe you,”

“It’s true,”

“My tits are already freezing under all these layers, and you’re trying to tell me that you don’t feel the least bit cold with both of your actual tits exposed to these winds? Do you believe him, Cassandra?”

“I want no part of this conversation,”  

“What are you three on about on about now?” asked Reagan, walking up from behind three of his companions; Sera, Iron Bull and Cassandra.

“Well, if it ain’t the Boss, himself! The healers finally gave you the okay to walk on your own?” the large Qunari gave the mage a firm pat on the back and almost sent him falling face first into the snow.

It had taken some time for Reagan to fully recover from the encounter with Corypheus at Haven. Part of him was still surprised he managed make it out alive. Call it Andraste’s Grace or just pure luck. Either way he was still alive. Needless to say, it had been a difficult period. Haven was currently under a mound of rock and snow. Lives were taken from them suddenly. The Breach was closed, but the darkspawn magistrate showed no signs of weakening. Arguments were fierce between the War Council members to what their next move should be.

But not all was lost. If what Solas said was true, there was a fortress, hidden in the northern mountains. If they could just make it there, then perhaps there was still a chance for them. They could still turn this around. They could still save Thedas.

The trek was not easy however. This was not just a party of soldiers. Many were civilians or injured as well those who had just lost their homes. They were not prepared for such a journey which slowed them down quite a bit.

At least today, despite the below freezing temperatures, the sun and blue sky were out today, making the journey a little more bearable than usual. Just a little.

“Honestly, I’ve been fine for the past three days. They weren’t listening to a word I was saying, until I finally convinced them that I heard the divine voice of Andraste. That she ordered me to go to the front and lead our people right at this very moment,” the mage wasn’t entirely sure if he should’ve said that. That might’ve been a little bit blasphemous, but what was done was done. If there really was an Andraste out there, surely she would’ve understood.

“But you still haven’t answered my question; why are we on about Iron Bull’s tits?”

Cassandra groaned and rubbed her temple. “Please do not encourage them,”

“Oh don’t listen to her. We’re having real conversations, right?” Sera’s eyes sparkled with a certain excitement. “We’ve been walking in this bloody cold weather forever, and Iron Bull is out here, no shirt, tryin’ to tell me he just keeps warm by sheer willpower,”

“It’s true,” Iron Bull said, laughing loudly. “I’ve dealt with much worse, believe me,”

“We all have our own ways of trying to steer away this cold bite,” Reagan said, not entirely sure if what Iron Bull said was actually possible. “I’m pretty sure Blackwall has grown his beard out even more to keep himself warm. I wish I could do that,” grown man of 28 and he could barely get past a stubble.

“Ha! You with a beard. Now that’s a laugh,” the elf snickered, no doubt imagining him with one. “Alright then. If Blackwall’s got his beard, an’ Bull’s got his willpower or whatever, what about Vivvy?”

“The finest Orlesian coats,” Reagan answered. “Or she full embraces it,”

“Cole?”

“He’s a spirit, isn’t he? Do they even get cold?” Iron Bull said.

“That’s a good point,” Reagan nodded. “Hmm. Dorian?”

“Blood magic,” Sera cackled. “Solas?”

“He’ll say that it’s warmer than the Fade. Varric?”

“Chest hair,” Cassandra finally said, surprising all three of them.

“Ha! So, Cass does have a sense of humor. Well done,” Iron Bull bellowed.

“Well, that one was very obvious. I’m surprised he wasn’t the first on your list,” the Seeker responded with a shrug.

“Alright then. Trevvy,” Sera said, looking back Reagan. “What’s your trick for keeping warm? That freaky hand of yours? Andraste bless you before you fell out of the sky?”  

“Well, I did study fire magic extensively back at Otsiwick, so-”

Sera managed to make both a farting and booing noise simultaneously. “Boring. Also cheating. And stupid. Out of all the stories we have and you end us with that one?”

“That was a legitimate and honest answer!” the mage protested.

“Yeah, but it’s no fun if it’s just basic magicky magics,” Sera made another farting noise. “Cassandra, what you got?”

“As though Cassandra has a better answer than-”

“Well, obviously I just punch the cold,” she responded before the Herald could finish, leaving him stunned once more. She really did have a sense of humor.  

“And Cass is two for two! You might have studied the flame, Boss, but it looks like our Seeker here is on fire today,” the large Qunari grinned even wider.

Suddenly, the sound of a loud horn echoed across above them, signalling that it was time for the group to take rest.

“Ugh, finally!” Sera groaned. “I’m gonna go an’ see if I can snag some extra blankets or jumpers from one of the caravans,” and with that the spry elf girl ran off, cursing under her breath about the cold.

“As for me,” Iron Bull stretched. “I’m going to go and see if any of these lovely ladies might need a hand or more in ‘keeping themselves warm’, if you catch my drift,”

“We didn’t need to know that,” Cassandra replied, shaking her head.

“Yeah you did,” the Qunari gave another firm pat on the back to the Seeker and mage before he two disappeared off into the crowd. Well, not really disappeared. He was a big guy, so all he did was just get slightly smaller than he normally did.

And so, it was down to Reagan and Cassandra again. They hadn’t really spoken on their own since Haven was attacked. With his injuries keeping him in one of the caravans with the healers, and everyone else on duty he didn’t get a chance to chat with any of his companions.

“Fancy grabbing some stew from the cooks?” he said with a bit of a grin, pointing at another wooden caravan nearby. “Or are you fine just punching your fists at the winter cold?”

Cassandra rolled her eyes at the comment, but nodded.

--------------------

“How do you actually stay warm?” Reagan said as he passed one of the tin mugs to Cassandra and then walking finding a large, snowless rock for the two of them to sit on, overlooking the group.  

“I don’t,” she said with a sigh, bringing the mug close to her face, closing her eyes. “I just don’t see any sense in complaining about something that you cannot change,”

“So, I’ll take it that you’re freezing right now,”

“I feel as though my fingers my fall off,” she said in an irritable voice. “I do hope that Solas is right about this fortress. If he is attempting to trick us in anyway-”

“I trust him. I doubt he has little to gain from leading us astray,” Reagan replied, taking a sip from his own mug.

“And yourself? You do not seem like the type who would enjoy such frigid temperatures. Yet, you don’t seem nearly as bothered as you should be,”

“It’s as Sera says. I’m a cheater,” he with a small shrug. “Even before I knew what I was, I knew how to focus the heat into the palm of my hands. Think of a small flame. Just enough to feel a slight tingle in the palm of your hands, ”

“That’s impressive. I can’t imagine too many children being able to focus their magic like that when they don’t know what they are,” Cassandra responded, her eyes brows raised in interest.

“Don’t be too impressed. One day, the flame I thought of was a little too large and I set our estate’s tree on fire,” he laughed. “Yet, I still managed to lie about it and didn’t get found out for another year. I just told my parents I was playing with match sticks and only got a firm spanking,” he still remembered that day very clearly. 11-years-old just playing outside in the snow when he pointed his hand to the large oak tree in the garden. And just like that, several flames appeared around it and it became nothing but black charcoal. In hindsight, his parents must’ve knew it was magic. There’s no way a small match in the snow could do that.  But maybe they were in just as big denial as he was at the time.

“Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me,” Cassandra closed her eyes and gripped the tin mug tightly, as though trying to absorb the heat from it. “You seem like that the type of child that would have gotten into far more trouble than he’s worth,”

“I assure you I was only a slightly spoiled brat in comparison to the rest of my siblings,” he grinned wildly.

“Ah, that’s right. There’s three more of you,”

“Legally speaking,”

It was then that a biting gust of wind came across the group of people, though thankfully didn’t last long. Reagan looked over at Cassandra and he could see her dig her cheeks into her fur collar of her coat and shiver. But she was true to her word. As cold as she was, the Seeker did not complain. Still, he couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for her.

“Here,” he said, placing his cup down and pulling of his gloves and offering his palms. Cassandra’s grey eyes looked at him suspiciously. Right, yes. She wasn’t a particularly touchy-feely individual. This would look strange to her. “You said your fingers are freezing right? We can’t have one of our best warriors unable to wield her sword when disaster can strike at moment,”

The Seeker quirked a brow, but eventually also put down her cup and pulled off her gloves. “You’d better not set me on fire, Trevelyan,”

“Lady Pentaghast, you wound me with such accusations,” he said, smiling at her as he lightly took her hands into his. They really were as cold as ice, to the point when they were going from red to yellow. It really must’ve been painful.

Slowly, the Seeker felt the prickled cold pain in her fingers disappear, and instead felt a warm pulse start to form from her fingertips all the way through her hands. Whatever tenseness and uncertainty she felt about earlier seemed to dissipate with the cold.

“See? Still in one piece,” the mage said, running his thumbs across her palms. “Not even a blister,”

“I suppose it is nice to have feeling in my hands again,” she admitted, turning away from him. “… Thank you, Trevelyan,”

There was that blush again. The one that she would no doubt blame on the cold weather. The one that made him want to tease her more. The one that mad him want to caress her cheeks. The one that, as of late, made him want to pull her in close and press his lips against hers. Yet, there was still a question nagging at him, at the back of his head, that prevented him from completely hinting towards those feelings.

“Cassandra, who’s-” before Reagan could finish his sentence, the large sound of the horn sounded off again, indicating that they would be starting up again soon. The two quickly let go of each other’s hands.

“We should get back,” the Seeker said, grabbing her gloves and swiftly pulling them back on. “You are leading in the front with Solas, correct? You may want to confirm the details before we get moving again,”  

The dark-haired hero let out a sigh and stood up as well. Right. Now was not the time to be even thinking of what he and Cassandra could be. It wouldn’t do Thedas much good if he found frozen on top of a mountain fantasizing about his bewitchingly beautiful companion.

“Right,” he said, putting on a chipper voice. “And you have another exciting and riveting conversation ahead of you. It’s occurred to me we didn’t even touch upon our trusted council members. I’m sure Sera has some unique thoughts about them,”

“Please, don’t remind me,”

“Don’t miss me too much,”  

A final scoff came out of Cassandra. “And don’t make me give a reason to put you back on the caravan with the healers,”

“Again, Lady Pentaghast, you wound me,” 

[johnmuffus]

Passion 2 Profit Accelerator Review

Passion 2 Profit Accelerator Review (Samir Chibane Course)

eCommerce in general has revolutionized the way people do their shopping and the overall commerce and stores landscape, moving it into the internet. Furthermore, dropshipping has allowed people to start stores without having to run any stock or initial inventory investments.

The only problem with this fast growth is its trending nature, and how trends always attract people wanting to make a quick buck from newcomers and naïve individuals.

That’s what leads us to eCommerce and dropshipping course. While there are great products out there like eCom Elites, there are many classes offering shallow content that you can find for free on YouTube, but being sold as your gateway to making hundreds of thousands every month.

Is Passion 2 Profit Accelerator one of these courses? Let’s find out.

Who’s the author?

I actually wrote this a while ago, but I refrained from posting it earlier because Samir’s videos kept telling me no one would really buy the hype built by him to market the course.

However, I recently stumbled upon a few comments in different forums and Facebook about his course, so here it is.

This course is usually opening and closing to new members, supposedly as the current members finish the lessons. Its price varies sometimes when it opens, but it’s usually either $997 or $1,997.

There are actually 2 people behind this course: Samir and Juan Valdez (yes, like the coffee brand). They claim to have started being door-to-door salesmen, and they apparently sold $20 million in solar items before they stumbled upon Shopify.

Now, they seem to live off their dropshipping and using Versace robes to sit and tell people how they can make money.

Other than that, they seem to enjoy spending their free time taking pictures with sports cars and even helicopters. So yeah, he’s nothing special.

Reviewing Passion 2 Profit Accelerator

Despite the overhype presented on Samir’s social media and videos, his sales page is noticeably more discreet. I’ll give them props for using Teachables and integrating it with ClickFunnels for their membership.

After you sign into the course, they receive you with a few videos about what you’re going to see and learn from the course.

The videos are just the two “instructors” either sitting in front of their webcam or showing their screens and a pretty neat PowerPoint presentation.

Here comes my first complaint about the actual content: the videos are horrible. When you go into Teachables, you expect good image and sound quality, and to be fair, most courses (even the worst ones I’ve taken) stay faithful to this approach.

Well, that’s not the case here. This feels like it was recorded with an old cellphone’s (think about the first BlackBerries) camera, and they really spent way more on their robes than into actually making this an enjoyable experience.

Seeing even the worst, made-up courses was at least made bearable by the video quality and how I can smirk at their expressions, but this is just painful.

Now, into the content.

Mindset

These videos are your standard mindset module about setting your goals and habits. However, as entertaining as I usually find these sections, it’s obvious that they’re making everything up.

You can even hear them pause to think about what they’re saying, and the videos are somehow disorganized. The last video is fairly entertaining, though, using Einstein as an example of how failure is the best teacher.

Shopify

Next up, you have a basic store setup module, including hours’ worth of videos covering nearly everything about how to design your store, as well as payments and checkouts, shipping, etc.

It’s just basic content, and you can learn most of it with a few online searches. Even YouTube is more professional since you can still see them making everything up and even making mistakes and not noticing.

The rest is about familiarizing yourself with the dashboard and sending a CSV with your orders to your supplier –nothing about Dropified or Oberlo.

Sourcing products

You get 4 videos here and 2 recorded live streams. First videos are about products on Shopify, and you can see Juan’s store, which strangely had zero products available last time I checked.

The 4th video goes into offer types, free + shipping, and using retail before another video explaining how you can find products. The last video is just a recommendation of an upsell you can use for spying on people.

Facebook Ads

Next up, we have the first actually-quite-good module in this course: 7 videos plus 2 recorded streams on marketing with Facebook. It starts off with your basics: explanations and setting up your accounts.

There’s also content on the differences between general and passion pages, and you also learn how to test ideas with Facebook insights.

There’s an amusing video where Samir invites a friend to his chat, and the guy just keeps swearing like they were on Discord while playing Fortnite. That’s one of my course highlights for sure.

Finally, there’s stuff on some tips and hints for your FB page, using creatives and proper ad placement, analyzing campaigns, and when you should scale or kill your campaigns based on performance.

Email marketing

This goes back to being extremely basic, and you learn about marketing through you’re a MailChimp free account in 5 videos. Note that you need to upgrade as your mails list grows.

The first 3 lessons go into setting up your account, some templates, and getting everything ready. It’s kind of all over, but you can download the swipes for abandoned carts.

Live videos

Speaking of all over the place, the 6th module is a conglomerate of different recorded live streams speaking about pretty much everything related to the course.

There are some recommended apps, how to research products, FB targeting, increasing conversions, some recommended FB tools increasing your AOV (average order value), and how to launch your first add. There’s also a couple of Q&A’s and more mindset stuff.

Instagram marketing

The last module focuses on Instagram, and it’s just here so they can say this course offers Instagram-related content. It briefly touches on using influencers for your marketing, and that’s it.

Facebook group

Like usual, you have access to a private Facebook group, and after finishing this course I didn’t even care about checking it out. It’s surely either empty or filled with post from people trying to solve all the doubts left by these classes.

I’m prone to believe the first case, though, since I seriously doubt anyone fell for their marketing hype.

Final Verdict

Is It Worth It? Final Verdict

If you haven’t figured it out already, this course definitely isn’t worth half its asking price, and I’m talking about the occasional $997. There’s no way you should pay $2,000 for this course, and if you did and still can ask for a refund, then just do it and don’t bother finish this course.

Even comparing it with free YouTube videos, it pales in comparison with the amount of content and value you can get for much less money.

I can’t even congratulate them on their video quality since they barely did any editing, and again, the quality is horrendous. They didn’t even spend any time preparing a proper script for this course, and you can clearly see the doubt in their faces as they pause to think about what to say next.

Finally, there’s no proof regarding the claims they’re making about this course or their own success, and while I had a good laugh at the swearing-filled Facebook Ads live stream, it’s definitely a reflection of how professional they actually are.

For the money they’re asking, you’re much better off getting eCom Elites, buying the eCom Turbo theme, and spend the rest on your marketing. $1,700 is an outstanding budget.

However, given the actual content here, even training yourself with YouTube and spending the $2,000 on trial and error campaigns gives you better odds.

I hope you found this review useful and if you have any questions, please comment down below. I’ll be more than happy to assist you.

Once again, thanks for reading my Passion 2 Profit Accelerator Review and I wish you the best of luck.

The post Passion 2 Profit Accelerator Review appeared first on Only Genuine Reviews.

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[therunr]

Mt. Shasta Trip Report

Mt. Shasta (14,179 ft / 4322 meters) has been on my list of objectives for a while now! I attempted the Mt. Shasta climb last summer (2017) but had to turn around due to bad weather and rockfall danger; we barely made it to 11,000 ft or just under the popular structure called “Red Banks”. That was an unusually warm day which made the ascent out of “50-50″ campsite arduous and painful since we were practically post-holing at 2AM; for comparison - this is usually the conditions you’ll find on your descent, and on a really warm day.

Fast forward to Memorial Day weekend in 2018 and I was driving up I-5 to attempt Mt. Shasta one more time and this time, the weather looked perfect temperature-wise and the big unknown would be the wind. Forecasts called for high winds at altitude above Lake Helen which is the usual campsite for most people attempting a two-day ascent via Avalanche Gulch route. I kept an eye on the weather and frequently checked NOAA and www.mountain-forecast.com; NOAA typically is extremely conservative and MF being liberal so I was hoping we’d end up right in the middle and a perfect to attempt the Summit on Monday morning.

After gear-check on Sunday morning, we made space in our respective packs for group gear (I got to carry part of the tent, fuel for cooking and a shovel in addition to my items), we departed for the Bunny Flat trailhead at about 9AM. The trailhead is at 6,950 ft, and is a short 11 mile drive from town. 

Being a busy weekend, I had to circle around once but was extremely lucky to find a spot right near the bathrooms at the trailhead.

The plan was to go up Avalanche Gulch route. 

It starts with a hike up to either “50-50” campsite (just under 10,000 ft) or to Lake Helen (10,400 ft) where we’d setup “high camp”. The latter is the more popular choice for people doing this route, and given the long weekend, and possibly windy conditions, we were ready to camp about a 1,000 feet lower. This would not only mean a less crowded site, but also one that’s not as contaminated (since you’re making water from melting snow, and not everyone is diligent about being clean on the mountain). However, this meant that we’d have an extra 1,000 ft to cover the next day on our way to the Summit; it wasn’t too much of a concern since I’m just coming off an Ironman two weeks ago and should be in decent shape to move rather quick. This initial section is a short ~3 mile hike with a quick stop at Horse Camp where we topped off our water.

The trail to horse camp in 1.7 miles, and was melted out so it was a rather casual walk up to there, and from there to high-camp was more about negotiating steeper and direct terrain in somewhat soft snow. It’s about 3,000 feet and with fully-loaded packs so expect this to be slow. 

After setting up camp (below),

and covering some basic safety, and communication procedures (always good to level-set in a group), we talked about objectives for the day ahead of us: Safety first, and a shot at the Summit. A turn-around time of 11AM was established and I was confident we’d not have to come to time being the deciding factor but it’s always good to be clear about objectives. The rest of the evening was fairly low-key, and we enjoyed a simple dinner of rice and vegetable soup and an incredible show of alpenglow as the Sun set behind the mountains. 

While the approach in the day was warm to the say the least, the temperatures dipped quickly as the Sun disappeared and we were in the tents trying hard to fall asleep at 8:30 PM (Sunset: 8:30 PM).

I didn’t sleep too well, and the wake-up time of 1:00 AM came quickly! Our target was to eat, and get ready to head out by 2:00 AM. I decided to skip the hot food so as to not stir my system too much, and ate a Clif bar and was ready to go. It was a well-lit night given that full moon was just a day away so headlamps were barely required!

We started just about on schedule (at 2:15 AM) with helmet, gaiters, ice-axe and crampons right from camp given that the temperatures were favorable, and ice was firm. For layers, I had merino wool bottoms and shell pants and a base layer, mid layer and a shell for the top. Puffy was always handy when we stopped for breaks so as to maintain body heat.

From here on, the climb was mostly just cutting switchbacks as we climbed up the gulch and stopping from time-to-time to admire the beautiful almost-full moon, and the lights of Mt. Shasta City in the distance. We took a break every hour to eat and drink so we could maintain a constant energy source. As we climbed, a steady stream of headlamps formed behind us (and a few groups in front of us; we were one of the first ones), and it was a cool sight to see a line of headlamps taking small, but steady steps making up this incredible, and potentially active Volcano. Yes, it’s still considered as an active Volcano and the last recorded eruption was in 1786. Apparently it averages 600 years per eruption so I suppose we’re good for a little bit but note that the USGS does categorize it as a “high threat” volcano.

As we climbed higher, the prominent “Red Banks” appeared closer (on our left), and the “Thumb Rock” to the right. This ascent from Lake Helen to the top of the Red Banks is probably the steepest bit, and while it’s not necessary to rope up, I did rope up with Tyler for a brief section as we made progress to the top. It’s also usually in this spot where you see one of the best Sunrises you’ll ever see where the rising Sun creates a magical shadow of the mountain on the Earth - it’s essentially a giant triangle-shaped shadow that you can see drawn out in the distance. It’s something I had seen in pictures, and read about in trip reports but you have to create your own memory of this beautiful sight that has happened for close to a half million year, and will continue to happen every single day.

Right at the top of the Red Banks (we’re at about 12,800 ft here) is where you see another magnificent feature of this mountain which are its seven glaciers! Depending on the weather, you carefully traverse this part and quickly find yourself at the bottom of another long climb called the Misery hill. I assume the name gives it away, but it’s just one more objective ahead of us as we get closer to the summit.  At this time, the wind had gradually picked up as we gained in elevation and there were parts where we were getting hit in the face with strong wind, and blowing snow that came with it but still bearable enough for us to make steady progress.

As we climbed up Misery Hill, again switchbacking up the slope and making steady progress, we saw Shastina (highest satellite cone of Shasta, and at 12,330 ft) which features a nice crater at the top. I’ll have to come back to climb that someday!

The top of the Misery Hill and we’re at the summit plateau but we’re not done with the climbing yet! The ‘walk’ across this plateau is a gradual uphill grade. It’s at this part, and right before the climb up to the Summit pinnacle is where I smelled Sulfur. Tyler was quick to point out that we are indeed on a Volcano and the smell (and sights) of Volcanic activity adds additional points to the overall experience. From here, there’s a few short switchbacks that brought us up to the Summit (at 9:15 AM, exactly 7 hours after we left high camp; and covering about 3 miles, and over 4,000 ft) where we took some mandatory photos and signed the summit register :) 

After a quick snack and water break, we left the summit within 10 minutes of arriving there, and started the most important part of the trip - the descent back to high camp.

The descent, as you’d imagine, is quicker and we made good progress down - retracing the steps and covering the same landmarks and features we had just crossed hours earlier. After downclimbing the steep parts of the gully after the Red Banks, the snow finally softened up enough and the conditions allowed for safe glissading all the way down to high camp; we were back at 12:45 PM (about half the time it took us as compared to going up). We spent about an hour here to eat and hydrate and then packed up camp for a 2 hour trek back to the trailhead. There was a couple of short glissading sections here as well but as we got closer to horse camp this time, we saw a lot of snow that we walked across just a day ago had melted and exposed the rock causeway - it made for a pretty uneventful walk, sprinkled in with some short bursts of excitement and high fives on a successful trip!

If you’re interested, here’s what John Muir wrote about his trip up to Mt. Shasta:

https://vault.sierraclub.org/john_muir_exhibit/writings/snow_storm_on_mount_shasta.aspx

It sounds like he had quite an adventure - especially this part: “and that our only hope was in wearing away the afternoon and night among the fumaroles, where we should at least avoid freezing.”

[satellights]

Obligatory “I just had top surgery!” post/on having top surgery after having already had a reduction/on being trans and having to deal with medical professionals and such

PS: This is copied word for word from my reddit post, so apologies that it is not tailored to tumblr...I just can’t be bothered lol.

So just had top surgery! Thought I would write about my experience. I've seen at least one person on here who said they were looking into the surgeon I went to (Dr. Melvin Maclin in St. Louis, MO), as well as people who have been interested in getting a reduction, but worried it would make it impossible for them to have top surgery...I just had top surgery after having had a reduction two years ago.

I had top surgery with the same surgeon, and at the same surgery center I that I went to for reduction surgery. There were a few little things that have been different in comparison to the reduction surgery though, that I will talk about. Also, while no one was rude, inappropriate, or transphobic, there were two nurses who asked things relating to me being trans, one for an actual medical reason, and one just out of curiosity/to make conversation. I also have no idea who of the other people involved in my surgery actually knew I was trans (like the anesthesia team, etc). My surgery was written up on the papers as surgery for gynecomastia, so unsure who all knew it was actually top surgery lol.

An unrelated to surgery note: Dr. Maclin is the coolest dude. We have basically the same tastes in movies and pop culture. After my reduction surgery I gave him a figure of a Toho monster, as well as a dvd of this silly Japanese movie that involves like a robot, aliens, and just loads of wtf-ness that I knew he'd enjoy. Today he gave me a dvd of two Godzilla movies, and a Studio Ghibli film (surprisingly one that I had not ever seen...I thought I had seen them all lol). I have the first book of a Doctor Strange anthology that I finished recently, and plan to give him at my post op appointment.

**top surgery compared to reduction surgery on day of surgery**

With reduction surgery my parents came in with me from the start. With this surgery a nurse took me back to get me prepped, and then went out to bring my dad in to me. During prep for reduction, Dr. Maclin came in and drew his lines on my chest before the nurse did any other prep. However, today with top surgery prep, the nurse did all her prep like putting IV in and the things on my legs and such *and then* Dr. Maclin came in to draw his lines. It seemed like kind of a weird order to me, but whatever lol. With reduction surgery I had the IV in my left hand, but today I had it in my right. Because I had the IV put in before he drew the lines, when he needed me to do things like push my hands together to help show him where my chest muscles were I couldn't really do that with the IV in, but we figured it out and I was able to kinda flex my arms in the right way. The rest of prep was basically the same as before. Last time I just talked very briefly with one anesthesiologist, she asked the usual questions. However this time, it was like the whole anesthesiology team lol. I talked to the main anesthesiologist first, he asked his questions, explained in detail step by step what was going to happen with that (like we wheel you to the OR, put a mask on, put the stuff in your IV, once your out we put the tube in, then this is what happens while you're waking up, etc), which was really nice. I don't think they explained it all like that to me last time. Later during prep, two anesthesia nurses came in to ask the same questions, and ask if I had any questions. I got an antinausea pill just like I did last time. However, with the reduction surgery I think I had a lot of drugs put in my IV before ever leaving the prep room, and really don't even remember being wheeled out of it, and don't remember anything in the OR. This time I was like totally with it and awake while being wheeled to the OR, while scooting to the table, met another nurse there, and only very very vaguely remember the mask being put on me. Unlike last time, I woke up while still in the OR, but after all of surgery was over (so not like I woke up by accident lol, the anesthesia team intended for me to be on my way to waking up by that point). I woke up as they were just about to zip up the post op binder vest on me. One of the anesthesia nurses said they were going to put me back to the wheely bed, and not to help them (they didn't want me to move myself). When I got back to the recovery room, I was like wide awake, and I had to pee SO BAD. Like I don't know how tehfuk I was able to hold it while I was under, but I guess somehow I did. But I had to wait a little while (like about an hour), while my need to pee continued to increase, until I was finally able to go to the bathroom lol. With the reduction I stayed at the surgery center overnight, but with this surgery I was able to go home after having been awake for 1-2 hours. With reduction I had just drains, and they got taken out the next morning. With top surgery they stay in a week, and I also have a wound vac for that week as well. I don't think I really got any meds in my IV aside from anesthesia stuff, whereas with the reduction I had pain meds and valium in my IV before and after surgery. Immediately post op with the reduction, my arm mobility was really bad, and the pain was bad enough to need the prescribed pain meds. Today immediately post op I actually have a ton more arm mobility than I thought I'd have, and the pain is there of course, but it's mostly bearable, and pretty much up until right around now it felt like just muscle pain. It's only just now that I'm starting to feel some pain from pressure on the incision areas.

**on being trans and having to deal with medical professionals and such**

So it wasn't until I was all prepped for surgery, but before Dr. Maclin had come to draw his lines, that the nurse was basically like "oh wait...I need to get a urine sample" so we had to go over to the bathroom. We went in and closed the door, and it was once we were there alone that she asked me "you still have a uterus right?" and apologized and explained that it meant they'd still have to do a pregnancy test. Personally I just found it kind of amusing, but it also made me really curious who of the personnel there knew I was trans. Every person of the anesthesia team asked what name to call me. I don't think this had to do with me being trans at all, and just that the name I registered with the surgery center was actually a nickname of my legal name lol (my legal name is my new changed name, so didn't have to have my birth name on anything during any of this). They explained they ask that of everyone in case they need you to respond while you're still mostly under/half asleep, and they want to address you by a name you will be the most likely to respond to immediately lol. But for some reason them asking me this still felt a little like *"because you used to respond to a totally different name because you changed it because you're trans"*, but it still didn't really feel hurtful or anything. Then later in recovery when the nurse was taking my IV out, like she did when she was putting it in before she tried to make small talk to distract me. This time however, she started asking about me being trans. While I had no real problem with it, or with talking to her about it, it still felt weird because it came out of nowhere. She asked how long I had been transitioning. I told her how long I'd been on T, and how long I'd been out before then, but told her I couldn't actually remember whether it was two years or three years ago that I came out to my parents lol. She asked if they were supportive, so I talked about that a little, and explained while they weren't unsupportive at all that this has all still just been one big learning experience for them it seemed. She went on to say something like "yea, some parents wonder what they did wrong, and it's like 'you didn't do anything wrong'!" which made me smile, and made me feel good to know that her saying that meant she was most likely pretty supportive of trans people in general. After I talked about how long I've been out she asked me like "yea, but how long have you *known*?" which personally I found kind of rude of her to ask cos like that's kind of a *too* personal question sometimes. But still I didn't really have any problems with talking to her about it. She asked if I knew as a kid, and I explained I'd known ever since I learned about what being trans was and how I related to it 100% right in that moment that I was reading about what it was, but that when I look back there are definite signs in my childhood of me being trans, and had I known it was a thing back then I would have fit the trans as a child narrative.

Everyone gendered me correctly the whole time I was there. Even my dad which I was surprised about. He almost said she once, but switched to he after like 0.2 seconds of the "sh" sound coming out lol. My dad tends to just take ques from others around us if we're together. If the other people are calling me he, then my dad will do. But of course this sucks, when we're around people who have a hard time with pronouns and still automatically use she (like my dad's best friend does, and like my mom does).

Anyway, if anyone has any questions about any of this stuff, feel free to ask. I'll try my best to answer. Unlike with the reduction surgery, I for some reason don't feel like total crapola this time around. Last time I felt like the anesthesia did a real major number on my brain and I became a total dud, but today I'm feeling like I can actually concentrate on things like reading and writing and I think that's just totally wild lol, so I think I should be capable of answering any questions and such.

To those of you who are interested in hearing about having top surgery after having already had a reduction, at what points post op top surgery would you like updates on the differences in the healing/recovery process? Maybe every week? I will try and keep notes so I can share them with you all periodically through the next year, because I know there have been a lot of people around here who have been really interested in getting a reduction before top surgery, but are worried or don't know what to expect.