#the rest of it being so similar to the film didn't leave me much to write about

[radarsteddybear]

[For the Anastasia AU ask game] Back to the Future? (I mean, did you expect anything else from me...?)

Send me a piece of media and I'll tell you how I'd do an Anastasia!AU for it!

Oooooh, that's going to be tough because I've only seen the film once and that was probably...somewhere around 10 years ago? But let's give it a go. (I apologize in advance if this doesn't actually fit.)

In order to keep the royalty element, I'd stick Marty and co. in a fictional country that recently overthrew their monarchy and replaced it with communism. The country is buzzing with the rumor that the youngest of the king and queen's three children survived. Meanwhile, Marty, as above, has amnesia and is trying to eek out a meager living while trying to piece together who he is, only having bizarre flashes of memory fragments to go off of--fire, nearly being run down by a strange-looking car, blinding flashes of light, the sound of tires squealing against the pavement. He arrives in this fictional country's version of Twin Pines, where he finds himself drawn to Doc, former Scientist to the Crown, who's now working as...something that is definitely not science and is unquestionably beneath his ability/skill level. Doc, much like Marty, exists on the fringes of society as the sort of person that everyone else tends to avoid because they're different and weird and tend to say stuff that doesn't make any sense and are probably doing things that could probably get them in a lot of trouble with the law. Which Doc is, by the way. Doing things that could get him in a lot of trouble with the law, I mean. Idk what he's doing exactly (probably multiple different things), but he's doing it to earn money to fund his scientific experiments and hopefully get out so he can relocate to somewhere he can have the freedom to pursue his scientific endeavors.

Now, this next part's a bit tricky, because Doc is, at heart, a very kind person who would absolutely never intentionally do anything that would ever hurt his good friend Marvin (or whatever the heck's going by at this point in time), but let's see if we can make this work. Soon, what remains of the government in exile announces a monetary reward for whoever finds the Lost Prince, Marty McFly. This gets Doc's brain going, and he starts to put some details together in a rather "I've connected the two dots/you haven't connected shit" sort of a way. Dates line up, places line up, and the kid even sort of looks like the lost prince. And if he is the prince, the reward money is more than enough to get Doc (and Marty, because Doc doesn't really think through the idea that Marty being the prince would lead to their separation) out of this fictional country and set them up with the tools and equipment to do Science™️. Doc uses his knowledge of palace life to teach Marty how to be a prince as they make their way towards Fictional Country #2 where the government in exile is currently exiled. Marty slowly begins to regain more and more of his memories, though they don't paint the happiest picture.

After they arrive in Fictional Country #2 and start to prepare to meet with the Fictional Country #1 Government in Exile (which is mostly going shopping for snazzy new clothes), Marty starts to realize that, this whole time, Doc has been more motivated by money (and freedom) than by the idea that Marty actually may be the lost prince, that Doc has been twisting the facts in his mind to fit the picture he wants to paint. And Doc starts to realize this, too, and he is absolutely horrified because, again, he'd never do anything to hurt his friend, and now...he has.

And just before realizing this, Doc also realizes that, if Marty is the Lost Prince (which Doc hopes he is, after all this), Marty is going to stay in Fictional Country #2 to take his place as the exiled king leading Fictional Country #1's government in exile as well as take his place in Europe's royalty. Sure, maybe they'll still get to see each other here and there, but it'll never be the same; they'll never again get to live in the same world.

Marty is understandably angry and decides he needs his space. Doc decides that the best thing he can possibly do is respect this, so he wishes Marty the most genuine, heart-felt "good luck" he can and starts making arrangements to return to Fictional Country #1 (because without the reward money, he can't afford to start a new life in a new country; there also a definite element of some self-flagellation in there as well).

I guess Biff gets to play the role of Gleb, working as an agent for the government of Fictional Country #1, which has a vested interest in not having any of the members of its former royal family return from the dead. Biff's mission is to either bring Marty back to Fictional Country #1 to be made an example of (if he's not the lost prince) or kill him (if he is). So at this point, Biff has been following Marty and Doc for their entire journey, and this is the moment he chooses to make his move, having determined that Marty is, in fact, the lost prince, and therefore he needs to die.

Marty, of course, isn't going down without a fight. The ensuing fisticuffs somehow catch Doc's attention, as he's still nearby and hasn't left yet. He joins in the fight, probably with the help of an invention or two, and quite literally throws himself in front of Marty to protect him from Biff once Biff reaches for his gun. Biff doesn't get the chance to fire because Marty is able to use whatever invention Doc brought along to defeat Biff once and for all (he doesn't die, of course; he just ends up getting arrested by the proper authorities).

Doc and Marty hug it out. They don't have to say much to convey their apologies to one another. They decide to ditch the whole lost prince business and find a place for themselves in Fictional Country #2, starting from scratch, because they don't need much as long as they have each other.

[huhmiya]

THE WEEKND | matt sturniolo

pairing: bf!matt x f!reader

summary: you gamed while listening to the weeknd while matt was away shooting a youtube video with his brothers, he later drives them back to his place before coming over to your house. it becomes evident that both of you share similar music tastes, sparking a heated connection between you.

warning: smut, sub!matt, swearing, nipple playing, p in v, unprotected sex, edging (matt), blow job, pet names (babe, love, baby, darling), rough sex, ass grabbing, whimpering matt.

a/n: not my photos, on pinterest. what’s y’all favourite weeknd song?

WORDS: 2.1k

huhmiya on wattpad

you - pink | matt - blue

-

You were in your room, alone, listening to music on your phone. Matt was over at your place earlier in the morning after spending the night, but he had to leave to hang out with his brothers and make a YouTube video.

He had texted you a few times, but you only noticed a couple of messages since you were preoccupied scrolling through social media or playing games while listening to The Weeknd.

You had The Weeknd songs on shuffle, as you had quite a few favorites. You didn't pay much attention to the music now and again, as you were focused on gaming and used it as background noise.

Although you were home alone, you didn't hear the front door open. Matt had keys to your place, but you were engrossed in gaming and The Weeknd playing quite loudly in your room.

Matt seemed to notice the music coming from your room, so he locked the door and took off his shoes before heading up to your bedroom. He was familiar with your place, as your home was like a second home to him.

You were quietly singing along to the lyrics, your voice barely audible as you knew the words by heart. Your eyes widened when you saw your bedroom door open, and for a moment, your breath caught in your throat before you realized it was Matt.

"Did I scare you?" he chuckled softly, his voice cutting through the music. "Maybe," you replied with a smile.

He playfully teased you before sitting down next to you, pulling you into a hug. He noticed you were gaming, but he didn't let go because he missed you, especially after being interrupted many times during the YouTube video he was filming with Chris and Nick.

"You never told me you listened to The Weeknd," he whispered, planting a kiss on your neck and resting his head on your shoulder.

"It just never came up in a conversation," you shrugged, setting aside your game and turning it off to hug him back and spend time.

"Hmm, I guess we do have similar music tastes," he whispered, looking at you before turning up the volume a bit.

As the music volume increased, he leaned his head back on your shoulder, gazing off into space. He had something on his mind, but he didn’t do anything yet.

After a moment, he turned to look at you, noticing how relaxed you appeared while listening to The Weeknd. He let out a slight chuckle before gently kissing your lips, catching you off guard with the sudden gesture. You responded by returning the kiss.

The exchange was brief and nothing more, but for Matt, it felt like a tantalizing tease. He found you captivating, like a drug he couldn't resist.

"Can I be honest with you?" he asked, prompting you to hum in response. He brushed his hair away from his face, noting that it needed a trim as it was getting close to his eyes. "I'm really turned on," he confessed.

You were taken aback by his candidness, and he chuckled softly, planting a kiss on your neck before pressing his body closer to yours to make his arousal evident.

You grabbed his hips to pick him up without hesitation, pulling him onto your lap as you shared a passionate kiss. His hands wandered over your hips, matching your intensity as he let out a soft moan.

“Touch me... pleasure me with your mouth, love,” he whispered, breaking away slightly but keeping your lips close. As he gazed into your eyes, he guided your hand to his arousal, eliciting soft whimpers as you stroked him. His hips moved gently against your hand, his lip caught between his teeth.

When you withdrew, he let out a small whine, his blue eyes flickering between yours and your chest before returning to meet your gaze. After exchanging one final kiss, you used a hairband from your wrist to tie your hair back.

His skin was covered in goosebumps, not from fear but from desire. He longed for you, his desire evident as he fantasized about taking control and experiencing your intimate connection further.

He acted without hesitation, releasing his grip on you and swiftly removing his shorts and boxers. His desire for you was palpable, his member yearning to be touched, craving you like oxygen.

Your hands enveloped his erection, gently stroking to heighten the intensity before teasingly licking the tip in circles and giving it kitten-like licks.

He groaned, leaning his head back in response to your skilled techniques before grasping your up-swept hair.

"Do you like that?" you inquired, to which he nodded with a soft whimper, struggling to speak as he was overwhelmed. "I love it... but please, don't tease me," he managed to say, his tone rougher than intended.

Without warning, you took his entire length into your mouth and began moving your head, your tongue tracing the veins as you set a deliberate pace, turning him into a whimpering mess.

"OH FUCK!" he exclaimed, his grip on your hair tightening as he urged you to go faster, though not forcing you beyond your own pace. "Oh, y/n... baby," he whispered with a small whimper.

You accelerated, bringing him closer, as he had been eagerly anticipating your presence all day. Fulfilling his desires felt like heaven to him.

"Your mouth was made for me, babe," he murmurs, releasing your hair and gripping the sheets tightly.

He lets out a few whimpers before moaning louder, his excitement evident as his member twitches in your mouth, signaling his imminent climax. Despite this, he cautions you with his words.

As he nears the peak of pleasure, you withdraw, preventing him from reaching orgasm just yet. He gazes at you, a smirk playing on your lips. "Y/n, are you serious right now? Please don't do this," he pleads softly, a hint of frustration in his tone.

Observing his vulnerability, you meet his gaze as he reaches out for your hand, only to have you gently pull away. He utters your name softly.

"Babe, I mean it, please don't do this—I need you," he pleads, his member glistening with your saliva.

You ignored him, sitting next to him and then lying with your feet dangling at the end of your bed, listening to The Weeknd playing in the background.

Matt looked at you with a huff, clearly upset and wondering why you were acting this way. He glanced at his boxers and shorts, perhaps considering changing, but ultimately didn't care.

"Fuck you, y/n," he said before climbing on top of you, turning your head to the side as he kissed your neck forcefully, leaving behind hickeys. "Someone's feeling feisty," you teased, which only prompted him to bite down to silence you.

He continued to mark you with harsh hickeys while on top of you, his arousal evident, though he tried to push it aside, focusing on the intensity of the moment.

Pulling back, he forced you to meet his gaze. "I want you to take me, and don't you dare tease me again, or I'll make sure you forget your own name," he threatened.

Tightening his grip on your chin, he smirked confidently, his other hand lingering on your shirt.

His eyes subtly conveyed his desire to remove your shirt, even though he already knew the answer. He simply wanted to ensure you were comfortable with it.

You nodded, prompting a smile from him as he carefully took off your shirt, placing it on the floor before removing his own.

"I want you to make love to me... You can't leave me like that and expect me not to be turned on. I need you more than anything," he whispered as he guided you on top of him, gently holding your hips.

His swift actions caught you off guard, and as you met his gaze, you ran your finger down his chest, causing him to shiver slightly.

You paused to kiss his lips tenderly, prompting a more passionate response from him. He was eager for your touch, as if he hadn't been intimate in years.

With his assistance, you removed your shorts, leaving you naked as you had been in pajamas. He gazed at your body before meeting your eyes. "Oh, darling... I am completely yours. I belong to you."

"I know you're mine," you whispered, causing him to smirk. Your naked bodies pressed against each other as he tightly squeezed your ass while you straddled him.

"Y/n, if you keep this up, I'll cum and I haven't had a chance to be inside you yet," he whispered against your lips. You chuckled softly, prompting him to lightly bite your bottom lip.

His hands explored every inch of your body but mostly your ass before guiding you to sit on his cock, ensuring a perfect fit between his length and your warmth. The only sounds filling the room were your synchronized breathing and the music from the weeknd playing in the background.

As you slowly took him in, your walls tightened around him, eliciting a deep groan from him and soft moans from you as he stretched you.

"Oh, love, y/n," he struggled to find the right words, lost in the pleasure. Grasping your hips firmly, he ensured he was completely inside you, his own arousal evident as he felt you shiver slightly.

He continued to move you, taking it slow to help you adjust to him. You were his perfect match, and with every moment, he found himself falling deeper in love with you.

Moaning his name, you caught Matt's attention, though he couldn't resist glancing at your chest. He made an effort to meet your gaze.

As you picked up the pace, Matt averted his eyes and closed them, his body arching in response. He held onto your hips, allowing you to take the lead. Suppressing a loud moan, he bit his cheek deliberately, his hands trembling on your smooth skin before moving to caress your breasts.

His thumbs circled your nipples slowly while he maintained eye contact with your boobs, intensifying his arousal. Fixated on your breasts, he eventually pinched your nipples, eliciting a louder moan from you. “Oh, Matt.”

Continuing his actions, Matt felt his orgasm building as you moved your hips, thoroughly enjoying the experience.

The way your breasts bounced caused his eyes to roll back, and the way you pleased him made him arch his back and moan. He couldn’t help but hold onto your hips.

“I’m close,” he mumbled, and even though music was playing, you heard him. You locked eyes with him, nodded, and increased your pace, which prompted him to grip your hips tightly. He wasn’t careful not to leave nail marks, as his nails were always trimmed short.

“Me too,” you whispered, feeling your orgasm building with each passing second as he twitched inside you, growing more sensitive with his own climax approaching.

For a brief moment, he moaned louder than the music as he released his hot seed into you, the warmth leaking out while you remained on top of him.

He shut his eyes tightly and let out a slight hiss, breathing heavily. His body trembled slightly, especially as your walls tightened and you climaxed around his cock.

You collapsed on top of him, breathing heavily, as one of his hands found its way into your hair, playing with it while he remained inside you. “Damn, girl, I love you,” he mumbled.

After smiling and kissing his head, you got off him, his dick no longer inside you. You lay down next to him, and he frowned, prompting you to look at him in confusion. He then spoke, "No, I love you..?”

You chuckled and rolled your eyes before gently kissing his lips and pulling back. "I love you too, and even more," you said as he smiled like a kid in a candy shop and hugged you tightly.

Returning the hug, you closed your eyes and snuggled next to him, both feeling weakened from the intimacy.

"Shall we listen to one more Weekend song before aftercare?" he asked with a small smile. You nodded in agreement, holding onto him as he did the same.

masterlist! guidelines & information! wattpad! socials!

[pedge-page]

I can imagine preggo wife literally talking and talking and talking in the middle of a movie and gets offended and leaves when Joel tells her to quiet down

Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife : Yapper

notes: Oh I had fun writing this! no warnings (maybe some Fugitive and Raiders spoilers), Enjoy!

- - - -

Joel’s pretty excited for movie night. It’s one of the few films the two of you don’t argue over and can pretty much watch the entire way through without disruption.

Or at least, it used to be.

Joel settles against the couch armrest with his feet propped up, knees bent slightly so you have room to sit in front. He’s got any snack you could think of within an arm reach away, and he’s got the title on pause so you can scooch your fat booty and big belly comfortably. Usually takes about 15 minutes of squirming, smacking his chest to “fluff” it up, adding a pillow at his crotch, then taking it away because you like his hard cock there instead, elbow in his groin and then his knee, then you gotta get up to pee before starting the whole process over.

“OK Im ready!” You say after 15 minutes on the dot, snuggling close to him with the back of your head rested against the crook of his neck.

He finally hits play, and the Lucasfilm logo flashes across the screen. The tropical forest and ominous music plays as the familiar font of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark fade on to the screen.

“Joel. Joel. Hey Joel.” 

“Y-yes?”

“Did you know Indiana was named after George Lucas dog? Who also was the physical inspiration for chewy?” You ask  rhetorically. 

It takes him a second to understand you’re asking him a question. “What?”

“Chewbacca! From Star Wars!”

“Oh ok neat,” he says with some enthusiasm, but quick to end it and get back to watching the movie—

“Yeah also Sean Connery is also apparently—well guess how much older he is to Harrison Ford.”

“Um—I don’t—I don’t know.” Joel says slowly, watching as Indy carefully removes the sand from the pouch and weighs it to the gold idol.

“C’mon, guess!”

“I really don’t know, can we—“

“12 years older than Harrison in Last Crusade! My mom was like ‘WHAT no way’ and I was like ‘Yes way’ and she was like ‘He's his father and he's got all that white in his hair and receding hairline’ and I was like ‘Joel's only in his late 30s and he's got white in his beard.’”

Joel can’t hear a damn thing happening on screen except the shouts about hating a pet snake named Reggie. “Wha—“

“Not that you look anything like Sean Connery in Last Crusade. Maybe in like Bond —oof he was the hottest Bond. Plus you got like a receding beard-line with all the patches, I don’t know, but my mom was like ‘Ya know Joel's got more white hair lately since you've been pregnant’ and I was like ‘Nah uh’ and she was like ‘Ya huh’ and I was like ‘Huh I wonder why that is…?’ Anyway but nope only 12 years between him and Ford—“

Joel turns to look at you with a frown, a bit confused and amazed at how you have so much to say, right now, oblivious as ever. 

It doesn’t phase your rambling one bit: “—Like damn, but you know Harrison Ford has always been handsome. But like in the bad boy kind of way, not like handsome upstanding like Christopher Reeves? When I saw The Fugitive, I was like ‘oooohhhh I'll be his wife now’ hahaha! no no I’m sorry, he’s famous and I’m not so that’s why I married you, but that's such a fall film don't you think? Minus the murder and betrayal and fucking Dr Charles Nickles like was he British or not? He was in and out of an accent the whole time? Didn't make sense to me but yeah, it's just such a fall Cozy film.”

Joel looks back at the screen and realizes Marion is already being cornered by the Nazi creep: “Ah huh—honey—“

“OH! I Love her song! It’s kind of like Leia and Han’s from Empire except the last notes are different, like it goes do doooooo instead of da dat dada daaaaaaa, That’s just John William’s for ya, but you’d never notice they were so similar!”

Joel opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out as you continue:

“—Also I know you said my mom made good apple pie but I really wanna try to make it because I want you to like mine more, so I need you to get some apples and pie crust and butter and stuff from the store, I’ll make a list so you can get it. They said we need ground cinnamon but I think ours expired like 5 years ago so don’t forget that. And then I'm gonna tell you how to slice the apples since I can't handle sharp objects and then oh I need you to get the mixer from the top shelf and then you have to mix it all together and slice the top with like little heart patterns and then put it in the oven n stuff ‘cause it's hot and I don't wanna burn OH and that reminds me—!” 

“BABE!”

“Hmm? yes?” You ask with a innocent smile. 

“Let's try to be quiet and watch the movie ok?”

He offers a gentle smile and nods, pointing towards the TV again and settling to watch it with his beautiful wife.

His very very very unhappy wife. Your eyes haven’t left his, face now downturned in such a scowl, he should be shitting his pants.

You roll your jaw at him once, teeth grinding against one another with slitted, murderous eyes. Joel gulps, too afraid to glance back at you again. His eyes are wide staring at the commotion on the television but, now in your deadly silence, he can’t seen to focus on it at all. 

Instead of saying anything, you roll polly up to your feet, arms crossed over your chest defensively as you utter a loud “Hmph!” before storming away from the living room.

He’ll have to deal with groveling tomorrow morning when you might be a little more welcoming. But on the bright side, he’s got way more room to spread out on the couch and he can hear the movie much better now! 

......... 

He switches it off and runs upstairs to get on his knees by your side of the bed, begging for your forgiveness and promises of a Clyde's milkshake to go. 

- - - -

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[zerobaselove]

zb1 as date ideas, fall edition ♡

pairing: zb1 x reader

genre: fluff

warnings: alcoholic beverages in jiwoongs, reader wears a barbie costume in ricky's but its still gn! lowercase intended, not proofread

notes: i am so rusty guys i am so sorry,, but ohhh this was so lovely to write. i know not all of these are explicitly fall themed or whatever but ITS FINE,,, i hope u all enjoy it as much as i enjoy fall bc ohh im so excited <3

jiwoong ;

"and this here is one of our specialties," the vineyard tour guide explained as he poured samples for both you and your boyfriend jiwoong. "it's a dry cider, so it's got a bit more of a refreshing taste, much more similar to an apple wine."

jiwoong swirled the cider in his glass for a moment before taking a sip, a pleasant expression crossing his face at the taste, urging you to try it as well. as the drink passed your lips, you couldn't help the sour expression as the bitter liquid hit your tongue. "not a fan?" jiwoong giggled at your childish palate, and you only shook your head.

"you like that?" you say in disbelief, "i feel like it's not as sweet." you pouted slightly, missing the previous sweet cider you had tried that was right up your alley. he couldn't help but smile and ruffle your hair. "i'll get you some of the sweet cider before we leave, yeah?" a smile spread across your face as you nodded.

you turned to the tour guide once again, "what's next?" the man chuckled at your eagerness to move on, watching jiwoong down the rest of his drink before moving on. the guide started to explain the next drink, describing it as a middle ground between the sweet and the dry ciders, and you found yourself being pleasantly surprised by the drink.

soon enough the two of you were walking out of the vineyard hand in hand, jiwoong laughing once again over your reaction to the more bitter drink. "listen okay, i just like sweet things." you jokingly huffed. "that's why you like me, right?" jiwoong smirked, earning a smack on the arm from you followed by a laugh, "yeah yeah, that's why i like you and the bottle of cider in the bag."

zhang hao ;

you don't remember choosing such a gory film for your movie night with your boyfriend hao. sure, you wanted something scary, even if both of you weren't the greatest with jumpscares, but it was that time of year. the leaves had started changing and so in your mind, it was halloween, and your movie choices had to reflect that.

that being said, not even 30 minutes into the movie and you had given up, opting to bury your head in your boyfriend's neck as he barely peaked through his fingers to see the screen. you tried to tune out the shrieks blaring through the speakers, focusing on the scent of your boyfriend's cologne, or the feeling of the new sweater he had just bought. but it was no use.

"i know i picked the movie but, can we please change it," you pouted, remote in hand. "don't have to tell me twice." hao chuckled, finally at ease now that the movie was paused. you scrolled through the selection of movies for a bit before settling on a fan favourite.

"the nightmare before christmas?" hao questioned, letting out a smile, "much better."you smiled back, finally getting comfy as you laid your head on his shoulder, readjusting the blanket that covered your legs. "i thought so too."

hao placed a small kiss on your temple as the movie started, letting his hand grab ahold of yours as the familiar tune of "this is halloween" played through the speakers, a much better alternative to the earlier screams.

truthfully, you didn't last long through the movie. the combination of the warmth radiating from your boyfriend as well as the cozy blanket covering you had knocked you out before the credits rolled, but you wouldn't have it any other way.

hanbin ;

"sung hanbin, where are you taking us?" you chuckled, eyes trained on the orange and red leaves surrounding you as you made your way further into the countryside. he only smiled, turning down the music on the radio before grabbing your hand as he kept his eyes on the road, "you'll see."

you simply shook your head at the vague nature of his response and looked back at the passing trees, humming along to the quiet radio. as curious as you were, you honestly wouldn't mind if hanbin had driven you around in circles, as long as you got to spend this time with him.

soon enough you had driven into a small town seemingly in the middle of a forest. the trees that surrounded the road had been cleared out and replaced with small business-lined streets and people walking their dogs in the chilly autumn weather. you couldn't help the questioning look on your face as he pulled into the parking lot of a small hole-in-the-wall coffee shop. "welcome, y/n" he smiled, opening the door for you, "to my very first barista job."

a smile quickly spread across your face as you connected the details of the small shop that you had heard about through hanbin's reminiscent stories. the small dent in the wall from where he had accidentally hit the wall with a piece of equipment he was moving, or the dusty chalkboard that he would get to draw the specials on every day. this was like a second home to the boy, and you could see why. the cozy atmosphere was more welcoming than you had expected.

"hanbin!" an older woman behind the counter called out, catching the attention of both of you as a wide smile spread across hanbin's face. "hi mrs. lee!" the older woman, who you now learned was the infamous mrs. lee, smiled at the two of you, "and who's this?" she inquired, "oh hi mrs. lee! i'm y/n" hanbin took your hand in his, "this is my lovely partner, i thought i'd show them my second home."

"well it's a pleasure to finally meet the person hanbin's been talking so kindly about." you smirked, turning to your now blushing boyfriend. "mrs. lee~" he playfully whined. "you talk about me?" a hint of curiosity laced your voice. he sighed, squeezing your hand, "can you blame me?"

matthew ;

"matthew?" you called out, faced with rows upon rows of fruit-bearing trees and no boyfriend to be seen. "matthew~" you dragged his name out, "where are you?" but alas, no response.

after a few moments of silence, you feel something hit your foot, glancing down you see that an apple had rolled and hit you. you chuckled as you picked up the fruit, your line of sight raising as you look down the row of trees to see your boyfriend standing there, holding in a laugh. "strike!" he yelled, jogging over to you with a basket full of bright red apples.

"you know i was almost worried about you for a second there." you playfully hit his arm, "you just disappeared." he let a sheepish smile pull across his face, "sorry 'bout that," he grabbed your hand with his free hand, leading you two down the path, "but what really could've happened, death by apples?" he chuckled, shaking his head.

"listen," you started, mindlessly swinging your interlocked hands, "i've seen the wizard of oz, apple trees can be brutal." you were stopped in your tracks as matthew planted his feet in one spot, pulling you in close. "well i'm right here my angel," he placed a kiss on your lips, a smile spreading across his lips in the process before pulling away, "and it's gonna take a lot more than a sentient apple tree to take me away from you."

you chuckled at the seriousness behind the rather silly sentence, "that's gotta be the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me, matthew." you let a chuckle escape your lips as you continued walking. "well you know," matthew let out a laugh of his own, "i'm quite the romantic."

taerae ;

bonfires were perfect this time of year, at least to you. the bright flame complimented the changing leaves so well, not to mention how nice the warmth was in the chilly fall nights. so you couldn't think of a better way to spend your evening than you were right now. you and your boyfriend taerae sat in chairs by the fire.

the two of you could talk for hours if given the chance, whether about something at work or a fond memory or really whatever came to mind. the conversations never seemed to lull. and right now, the topic of conversation was a song taerae had been working on that seemed to be stressing him out.

"can i hear what you have done?" you asked, smiling at the opportunity to hear your boyfriend's sweet voice. he nodded shyly, running inside to grab his guitar from the living room. after a few moments he had returned, guitar in one hand and a blanket in the other, handing the latter to you. "it's getting chilly," he smiled before sitting down and getting situated.

as he started strumming the first few chords, you found yourself swaying to the melody as he hummed the missing lyrics that had yet to be written. even in moments like this he still managed to sound angelic, and you found yourself getting lost in thought, wondering how you got so lucky.

"so that's all i've got," he let out a heavy sigh as he shook his head, putting the guitar down beside him. "all you've got?" you exclaimed, "taerae, you don't give yourself enough credit my. love."

he couldn't help but blush at the compliment, his hand quickly waving it off, "you're too kind, my dear. thank you"

ricky ;

after what felt like an eon of begging, you had finally convinced your boyfriend ricky to throw his ego to the side and come pick out a halloween costume with you. and you would be damned if you let this opportunity go to waste.

that is how the two of you ended up in the back of a spirit halloween, back to begging for your boyfriend to come out of the changing room. "it can't be that bad ricky, c'mon." you exclaimed, looking down at your outfit, the cop to his robber costume, though you hadn't seen his part yet as he paced in the closed off room.

"fine," he sighed, slowly opening the door, revealing his large frame covered in black and white stripes with a mask covering his eyes, looking like the robbers straight out of the sims 3. you stifled a laugh as you glanced over his figure. "my little criminal," you cooed, getting a scoff in return. "how is it fair that you look nice and i look like this." he let out a dry laugh at the situation.

"let's try the other one then!" you smiled, turning back to your changing room where one other costume stayed hung up. you couldn't help but smile as you looked at the bright pink outfit adorning your body in the mirror.

this time, you didn't have to beg ricky to reveal the outfit, finding him adjusting the shirt in the mirror outside the fitting rooms. "hey ken~" you dragged out, watching his face light up as he turned around at the sound of your voice. "hi barbie," he smiled, grabbing your hand to pull you in, standing next to him in front of the mirror.

"i think these are the ones." he exclaimed, and you couldn't help but nod in agreement, "the ken to my barbie."

gyuvin ;

if someone were to hear the situation going down between you and gyuvin right now, you were sure they'd assume someone was being killed, and in a way someone was, or rather something. two poor pumpkins sat on the table next to a bowl full of their insides, which gyuvin had now decided to grab a handful of.

"DON'T YOU DARE GYUVIN!" you shrieked, running around to the other side of the table, away from your boyfriend's pumpkin gut covered hands. "c'mon give me a hug!" he smiled, almost menacingly as he outstretched his hands to reach you from across the table, only narrowly missing you.

"keep you and your gross hands away from me," you laughed, though only half joking, "i don't want to smell like pumpkin for the rest of the year thank you." he only laughed as he placed the pumpkin bits back into the bowl on the table, sitting down to return to carving eumppappa's face into the pumpkin.

in a false sense of security you sat back down next to the boy, hopeful that you'd be able to finish your pumpkin in peace. but there was no such thing as peace with your boyfriend. in your focus on the carving in front of you, you failed to notice the way your boyfriend had gone eerily quiet, until you felt something be placed on your head. "a hat." gyuvin said simply, grinning ear to ear, hands covered in the contents of the bowl.

"kim gyuvin, you didn't" you carefully turned your head, trying not to knock off this new "hat" he had given you. he tried to keep a straight face at your cautious actions, "but i did." a laugh escaped his mouth as he picked up the pumpkin off of your head and putting it back in the bowl. "oh it's on." you mumbled, grabbing a handful yourself and mirroring his earlier actions, plopping it atop his head. and just like that, the night-long pumpkin war had begun.

gunwook ;

"y/n," gunwook smiled, tugging on your hand like a little kid, "let's go ride the ferris wheel!" you chuckled as you jogged to keep up with your boyfriend gunwook and his long legs. you two had spent all day running around the fair, trying new foods and petting cute animals, not to mention riding every ride you could imagine. but now the sun was setting and you were both winding down, so the ferris wheel sounded perfect right about now.

after waiting for a few minutes in line, you and gunwook finally got a seat in a bright purple basket. "i've had a really good day," gunwook smiled, grabbing your hand from across the basket. you took your eyes off the surrounding area, looking at your grinning boyfriend, mirroring a similar expression. "i did too wook, even if you totally cheated in the corn maze."

he shook his head, a laugh escaping his lips. "it's not my fault the corn was shorter than me! and besides," he paused, looking at you, "if i didn't, we never would've gotten out of there." he wasn't wrong. with your sense of direction, you would've been walking in circles for hours. "that's true," a comfortable silence came over you as you both admired the view below you.

"y/n look!" you turned back to the boy, a confused look on your face as you waited for him to continue. "we are stopped at the top!" both of you smiled from ear to ear, you had both hoped to get to stop at the top, but knew the chances were slim. yet here you were.

"aren't we lucky?" you exclaimed, taking in the setting sun and the way it lit up your boyfriend's skin. it only took a moment for gunwook to feel your eyes on him as he turned to you, a shy smile across his face before he leaned over, placing a soft kiss on your lips, keeping your faces close enough for you to hear his whisper.

"i really am lucky."

yujin ;

you and yujin weren't exactly the bravest people in the world, both having to be convinced to go to this haunted house in the first place. "it's fine guys, we will all be there together!" your friends had convinced you. you had almost thought for a moment that it wouldn't be so bad, that was until it was just you and yujin walking through the dark halls of this building.

you weren't sure how, but somehow early on, you and yujin had gotten separated from the rest of your friend group, and had been left to fend for yourselves. your false sense of hope quickly diminished as you heard the screams of other people up ahead.

"it;s fine yujinnie, we will just keep our heads down and blast through this, no big deal." you said, trying to convince yourself more so than him. "yeah, no big deal." he repeated, letting out a pathetic laugh as his eyes lowered to the ground in front of him. the plan was working until one of the "ghosts" had silently walked beside you, sticking their face in your line of sight. sure, you knew it was just makeup and prosthetics, but that didn't stop a scream from ripping from your throat and your hand instinctively grabbing yujin's.

yujin froze at the action, though you assumed it was just from the ghost appearing. what you didn't know was that your action had become the perfect distraction for yujin. no longer could he think about the creepy atmosphere or hear the screams of other people, his brain too focused on the feeling of your hand in his and the fact that at some point, you'd have to let go.

soon enough, like the light at the end of the tunnel, you both had found the exit, picking up your speed as you jogged to the glowing sign, dragging yujin along, hand in hand. once you had escaped the haunted house, you turned to the boy, wrapping him in a tight hug, "we did it!" you cheered, the boy joining you in the cheers.

"you made it!" your moment was interrupted by your friend's remark. "yeah and to no help of you," you joked, grabbing yujin's hand in yours again, "you can all thank yujin for letting me get out in one piece honestly." the statement caused the boy to flush a deep red, so much so that he didn't notice the way your cheeks mirrored his. maybe tonight hadn't been so bad.

[waitmyturtles]

Final Thoughts on The Trainee! (TL;DR That Last 4/4 Quarter Was a Major Fumble, But It Didn't Ruin the Whole Show For Me)

I had promised my friends @lurkingshan and @shortpplfedup that I honestly wouldn't write too much about The Trainee while it was airing, because I was mad sus about the crew of this show. Many of the crew of The Trainee had worked on an ill-fated GMMTV het drama called UMG, which aired last year, and which starred Nanon Korapat, Namtan Tipnaree, and Milk Pansa in an unfortunate, chemistry-devoid love triangle. It was a flop and I never finished it.

I had thought to think about where this crew came from about four episodes into The Trainee, when I realized that the MO of this series was to center not Ryan's and Jane's budding romance, but the inner workings of an office, and the infrastructures of making filmed content instead.

UMG was framed in a similar way. While the show struggled to contextualize romance among its characters, the center of each episode was actually about describing concepts regarding extraterrestrial life -- things like crop circles and whatever. (There were aliens in this show.) (Dammit, I can't find a gif of the aliens!) (Here's Milk with some boogie eyes instead, whatever.)

As @lurkingshan wrote often during her watch of the series, The Trainee was ultimately a workplace BL, and I'd add to that that it was meant to serve as an educational series to GMMTV's unique audience. I wondered, early on in The Trainee, if I was just too damn old, as a working professional, to be an audience to this show. GMMTV's audience, of course, skews Gen Z and maybe very-late millennial -- GMMTV's shows are equivalent to shows airing on MTV or The CW by way of its majority audience market.

I certainly had a lot of experience by way of how interpersonal relationships mostly played out in this series (although I reeeeeally needed Judy to acknowledge her kissing Ba-Mhee and to talk about it, the way Jane acknowledged the power gap between him and Ryan after they started dating).

But, honestly? I ended up LOVING the breakdowns of how creating filmed content works, especially in regards to how viscerally and intensely these concepts were depicted.

And The Trainee stepped into some other territory, y'all! Many of us had intense discussions regarding bisexual inclusion and erasure once Tae and Ba-Mhee got back together. These concepts are sophisticated and important to ruminate on -- again, especially for a younger audience being fed most binary male-male and female-female queer media and concepts by a giant like GMMTV, which makes a ton of money on branding same-sex actors together. Queerness has a lot of spectrums, and bi inclusion was something I was glad this series unexpectedly took on.

So, against all this good stuff, that last 4/4 quarter sucked. I felt terrible for Ryan's 20-something hormones. Jane went to get a masters', and didn't even *call* his.... his boo? (Ryan wasn't Jane's boyfriend, obviously, maybe we could call Ryan his crush, his boo-boo, whatever.) Like. Jane didn't even come back to Thailand to visit, ever? Come awn now. If a show is feeding realism to a young audience by way of how corporate workplaces work, and how the art of an industry is made, at least please make the final romance a little more realistic!

(All y'all 20-somethings who were watching this show and wondering if you should wait five years for a potential boo to come back from overseas, please listen to your auntie here, GO DATE OTHER PEOPLE. Don't be like Ryan. Focus on *YOUR* NEEDS. This has been your reality-based PSA.)

But the rest of the finale was lovely for me. Jo, to me, was a realistic boss. He had a priority in keeping on Jane as an assistant director, because Jane was a great assistant director, and served well in that role, which served well for Jo's company. When Jane expressed an interest in growing, Jo knew that Jane couldn't do it in Jo's shadow -- and Jo said so. Jane taking a risk to LEAVE is a kind of risk I've had to confront time and time again in my own career, as I grew out of a workplace, and grew out of what that workplace was demanding of me. It's a wonderful notion for young people to contemplate on -- that movement in one's career must be first and foremost driven by the individual themself, for the sake of their own accountability to their growth.

I was thrilled to see Sea Tawinan in them white pants Ba-Mhee and Tae's engagement, Tae setting guardrails for himself to focus more on Ba-Mhee, and omg Pie's and Ba-Mhee's breakdown had me howling. Poon's a new fave as well. The Trainee confirmed my continued deep love and appreciation for Piploy, I think she's cute and great-great.

I truly enjoyed this show. The crew ultimately de-centralized romance for most of the show to focus on how work lives and personal lives realistically intertwine. We are the same people at work as we are at home, with all of the messiness we bring to those tables, including unrecommended romances that may traverse age and power gaps. Things can get messy, but I think, other than the whole Judy thing and Jane ghosting Ryan for years (wtf man), The Trainee handled that messiness with empathy for the young people who did a lot of growing up during the course of this series.

[robintherobiner]

Thoughts, explanations, and all that shit i had while writing my latest oneshot

Stand up comedians do NOT make good kidnappers - Robin_The_Robiner - Batman - All Media Types [Archive of Our Own]

SO first up the name. Where did it come from? God knows. I started this fic like ages ago, wrote Steph's first section, and then promptly forgot about it for three months only to come back and scribble the rest out. I dont remember how i came up with the name, but i still think its hilarious so,,

Who is Cassowary? This universes Robin, duh! Since Damian was the first, i thought he'd go for a more intimidating bird. These birds have really sharp claws, and leave wounds similar to those of a blade. Huh. Who do we know who is really good with a sword? Exactly 😎

Writing Steph was hard because I don't know her very well, so I may have projected onto her a little bit (hence the excessive death jokes 😅). I hope it came across that Steph is a detective, like Bruce, but that she's doesn't lazer-focus on that stuff like him. Thats why she focuses on describing Junior at first, not the room she's in or the fact she's chained up. She knows these things, but she only brings them up when relevant. What good is wallowing over being chained up when you could be making fun of your kidnapper, huh?

I'm a bit worried that i didn't make it obvious enough that there is time between Steph's and Bruce's sections. Thats why when we finish Steph's third bit, she's shitting on Junior for dressing like the Joker, but then in the final bit, she's aware that it's Tim. The parts aren't happening at the same time, or right after the other. I hope that was obvious, but im not sure.

BRUCE'S BIT!!! I saw a post once saying that Bruce separates his personas very hard, and i really liked that. When he's talking about Batman, it's only referred to as Batman. When he's having more emotional thoughts, it's Bruce. And, of course, when he's dealing with Crystal (who i don't know very well so probably wasn't well written MY BAD YALL), he's Brucie. The guilt is in all of them, though. Fun stuff!

A big part of Stephanie and Bruce's relationship in canon is, from what i can tell, tense because of the way he treated her when he first met her. BUT in this fic, it's a bit lessened because Steph chalks his shittyness to the fact that he recently lost a son. Also, i think in canon a big part of why Bruce refused to get close to Steph was because of how she reminded him of Jason, which obviously isn't a problem in this universe. Bruce and Steph are still tense, but this time she has the eldest kid on her side pretty easily, cuz Damian feels guilt over Tim LOL

The death!! It's not overly explained, but I do have Tim's death all planned out and shit. It's a mix of the Joker Junior scene from Batman Beyond : Return of The Joker, and then also a little bit of canon. Instead of Bruce being out of Gotham, like in the film, it's that they have an argument. Similar to Jason and Garzonas situation, in how Bruce is angry at the thought of his partner killing, but more so using the Boomerang arc from canon (Tim wanting to kill his Dad's murderer)

Junior's mental state is wild. I'm not writing him with any particular mental illness, mostly because I'm not at all knowledgeable enough to portray something correctly. Instead I'm basing him off of Joker Junior's intro scene, and also me during some of my darkest moments! It's not Pit Rage (i don't lie how much the fandom pushes that onto Jason, similar to the Tim-Doesn't-Sleep idea in which it wasn't canon but then it got popular and was made so, i think) and instead just a extremely traumatised 17 year old!

The teaparty scene was put in there because I wanted Tim to have a hobby that he could share with his mom (because god knows everyone hates Janet because they mess up her character and only look at fanon) and that also can be used to show his mental state. Hence, collecting figurines, and playing with them! Yippee! Thanks to my pal Leo over on discord for suggesting this hobby!! (it was originally stuffed animals but I thought Batburger toys would work better)

Damian and Duke both were the first kids, instead of Dick and Barbara. Instead of Batgirl, we have Batkid, and then instead of Oracle, we have Signal. Damian is Shrike, because that is the most common hero name I see for him and I couldn't think of another. I may go back and change it to Nightwing, because I like the meaning of the name, but it would come from Superboy (Jon) instead of Superman in this universe, so maybe it comes later on? Not sure. need to think on that!!

Drake Manor was, in canon, only bought after Jack woke up from the coma. But, i decided to take the fandom route in which the Drakes always lived there, simply because timeline wise it works better for me. Also in canon, Jack doesn't need the wheelchair by the end, but for my fic, he's not out of the coma long enough for that. I also added a fun basement which defo doesn't exist in canon, so just turn a blind eye to that!

If you saw the original post, you'd know that Bruce was supposed to find Steph through a series of taunting clues. I changed my mind though, because I'm not good at clues, mysteries, or cases. So, a gift with the address is sort of dissapointing, but who cares?

Steph's feelings about Tim are sort of iffy. A really popular headcanon is that Jason was Tim's robin, and thats not true. I'm pretty sure Tim just,, didn't care about Jason? Idk exactly how he felt, but whatever. Steph doesn't hate Tim, in this fic, she just sort of hates how he was as Cassowary. Bruce is full of guilt and won't say a bad word about him, but has plenty of criticism for Steph, which leads to a sort of resentment. He was Cassowary though, so there is also some adoration in her heart. Basically, she switches how she feels about him depending on the situation.

Jack and Robin. In this universe, Jack doesn't know Tim is a superhero. Tim does still take a break, but it's to spend time with his dad after he awakens, not because he's threatened. Dana also (unfortunately) isn't around in this fic, so Jack has more time to spend with Tim. It's sort of a win-lose situation though. More time with Tim so they get closer, but without Dana to calm him, Jack's little bouts of fury are stronger (remember how he fucking ripped out a TV??) so their relationship is more strained, which is why Tim does go back to being Cassowary, just for a bit, before his dad dies.

Hints are sprinkled in Steph's bits that tell on Tim's identity. Not many, because I'm really bad at hints and subtlety, but there are a few. Mentions of shock burns (the electrocution duh), Zesti instead of tea (which is Tim's canon favourite drink, not coffee!!), and his wish that Steph stops being a hero.

Tims motivations are a reverse of Jasons canon ones. Jason forgives Bruce for not saving him, but is mad he wasn't avenged. Tim forgives Bruce for not avenging him, but is mad he wasn't saved. Aint that fun? Thats why instead of beating her up, Tim kidnaps Steph for three days to resemble the three weeks he was held captive before he died. Yippee, allegories! (i think that word isn't right, but i can't think of the right one??!! english is HARD)

WOW i had a lot of thoughts and explanations and shit for that oneshot, huh? 🤭

[aromantic-diaries]

Okay, so! Saw the post about being shocked that prom is a real thing, and I have a bit of a long roundabout question.

I am an american aroace who went to prom all of once, and I think the concept is both dumb and overrated. I went because a foreign exchange student in our friend group wanted to go and wanted all of us to come (only two people had dates, the rest of us went in a big gaggle of friends).

Prom was. . Very weird. I had a lot of fun with the pre-prom, where we threw knives and axes and played board games, but at the actual dance, I just sat with two other friends that I strongly suspect are also aspec and we read Goose Girl until we couldn't hear over the music and then played hangman the whole time. I danced the waltz with my brother once (competitve ballroom dancer who actually knew what he was doing), and we all did the chicken dance, and we otherwise sat at a table in the back the whole time. We were very weirded out by the mutliple mosh pits formed and didn't get point of slow dancing if you don't know any dance steps.

I am curious about big traditional romantic events that other cultures/places have and how the aromantic community experienced it differently. Like, there's obviously the whole thinking it is dumb and/or overrated aspect, but did you or anyone you know go to any traditional romantic events and kinda miss the point of the experience and do something you weren't really supposed to instead, like I did?

Sorry this is so long, and sorry if it doesn't make sense, I'm just curious about how this kind of thing worked out for other aros.

We have somewhat of a similar tradition in hungary but it's not quite the same as american prom. It's an event held for the graduating classes every year and the main point is when you and your classmates receive this ribbon that I think is sort of symbolic of you reaching the end of high school and beginning to prepare for adulthood or something, it's a landmark of sorts. Aside from the ribbons there's also speeches given by the teachers and the principal, as well as teachers, every class has to make a video (most were montages of photos and videos from over the years but my class made a short film where everyone said something they remembered from school and we were all filmed from our worst angles) and there is dancing but unlike american prom, it's a performance. There's a waltz where everyone dresses up in fancy clothes, and the class dance which is more modern and each class has to get creative. Both of them are choreographed and are performed in front of your parents, teachers and other loved ones at the event, and though the waltz is done in pairs it is hardly romantic, my class had one pair who were actually a couple. The two trans guys in my grade who were out as trans got to dance as guys but I wasn't so lucky since I'm closeted and had to put my dysphoria aside and wear a dress. I also had to take a bullet for all the girls in my class because I got paired up with the one guy I'm pretty sure nobody wanted to dance with (he's not a bad person, just kind of weird), it was mostly because I was taller than pretty much all the girls and also a lot of the guys in my class and he was among the taller ones. Between the dances there were also musical performances by people from my school to give us time while changing. There's an after party once the event is done which is usually held at some club but before you leave there's some time for the students to dance with their parents, my dad didn't dance with me cause I think he knew I hated this whole ordeal and I'm quite thankful because the cheap fancy-looking shoes I got for the event were hurting my feet like hell.

The preparation for the whole thing was an absolute nightmare, the dance practices were dreadful, acquiring the dress for the waltz was stressful as hell, but it all did come together nicely in the end. Most of the time it's held in winter but ours was much earlier in october so we had much less time to prepare. To tell you the truth I don't think I was quite there mentally when it finally went down, I just spaced out and temporarily got replaced with a pretty girl. My friends didn't even recognize me at first and it's not like I even had a drastic makeover other than putting on a nice dress, the only makeup I had on was colored chapstick. The whole thing feels less like a memory of something that actually happened and more like a weird dream that I know was vivid when I had it but faded into vague details once I woke up.

[the12thnightproject]

*jumps in*

Gonna fly in and drop a ⭐star⭐ because I know there's probably Director's Commentary you probably are dying to talk about in Ten Things I Hate About Mitsuhide. No pressure, though. Thank you!

Hi and thank you for the ask!

And you're right, I haven't had as much chance to talk about Ten Things, the way I have about Shingen and Mitsunari's longfics.

Loong, long answer below the cut...

Mitsuhide's longfic wasn't intended to be the third story. Originally, it was going to be Shingen, then Hideyoshi, then Mitsunari, but when I finished Shingen's story, I realized what I had planned for Hideyoshi had too many similarities to Shingen's story, so I bumped up Mitsunari. I was loosely considering Ieyasu as after Mitsunari, but Mitsuhide and 'Okatsu' had so much chemistry in Mitsunari's story, that it kind of felt like it needed to be next. He was in fact the love rival in Mitsunari's story, but because we never get his POV, it's not obvious (I think if you skim over his chapters in Mitsunari's story with that in mind, you can sort of see it, but it was never stated).

I still hesitated, because Mitsuhide is so popular that I was afraid if I didn't 'get him right,' it would go down very badly. And while I think I did ok with his character, I still feel like I rushed the story, and it could have used another edit on plot. In the first draft, Mitsuhide and Katsu were separated for most of the last third of the story. Once she left Sakai, they didn't reunite until almost the end (when he joins her in modern Kyoto). But I really hated keeping my two main characters apart for so long, and I was afraid people would lose patience with the story if they were separated for all of Act III. I spent a lot of time fiddling with Act III, and kept changing stuff, even up through nights before I posted the chapters.

So let's really talk about Act III, since the first three quarters of the story were fairly easy for me to write, but that final 25% took me almost as long to write as what came before. Honestly, Act III gave me fits (granted I was writing it last winter when I was working two jobs, and I had far less time to write than normal).

Oh, aside, I'm using film terms to describe the length of my acts... Act I is the first 25%, Act II is the next 50% (although usually is divided into two parts midpoint plot twist being an emotional mid-story climax), and Act III is the final 25%. I consider Act I to go through the point where Katsuko and Mitsuhide contract to work together. Act II through the midpoint goes through when they are taken prisoner by Motonari, and the rest of Act II goes through when Katsu leaves Sakai and Mitsuhide).

In my first attempt at Act III, once Katsuko leaves Mitsuhide's townhouse, she goes to Motonari and bargains with him to take her to Tsuruga - which was my original location for Act III. For reasons (that I no longer remember) Yoshimoto was also onboard. I got about 5 or 6 thousand words into that section, realized it wasn't working (at that point, Motonari was supposed to be the love rival), and backtracked to when she left Mitsuhide. In the revision, she goes to Yoshimoto, who agrees to take her to where Yoshiaki was hiding out. By this time, I realized that Yoshimoto made a better love rival (so when I did my second draft, I gave him a lot more to do in earlier chapters). This was all part of the original handwritten draft, so that Motonari section didn't even get typed up.

As I was working on my next attempt at Act III, I wasn't really sure exactly where Yoshimoto and Katsu were specifically going. I was going to create a new location where Yoshiaki was hiding out, and as I started to describe the area they were riding into, I realized, 'wait, I already created a dark remote castle for Mitsunari's story, I know what it looks like, and the area of that is more or less where this one needs to be too, so lets just use it again.' (I'm also using it in the next story, but just a little bit near the beginning of the fic. So far.) This also allowed me to drop a couple of vague Easter egg clues for the ongoing multiverse story.

Anyway, in that draft, it wasn't Mitsuhide who doubled around and ended up there as he too searched for Yoshiaki, it was Kyubei, who, sent by Mitsuhide, was following Katsu to ensure she was ok. Katsu was aware he was following her, and when she and Yoshimoto discover Yoshiaki's plans to team up with Motonari and Kennyo in order to attack Sakai, she sneaks out of the castle (Yoshimoto creates a diversion), finds Kyubei, and gives him a message to give to Mitsuhide. Then she sneaks back in rejoins Yoshimoto (and then the plot continued more or less the way it played out in the posted draft).

I always write the "his POV" chapters last, and since I changed my mind on Act III prior to writing the his POV chapter, this never did get written, but what my original plan for "what was Mitsuhide doing while Katsu was in Genba was that he had figured out where Toshiie was, and he'd found her brother, and was 'drying him out.' He doesn't learn what happened to Katsu, until Yoshimoto visits Azuchi and tells him. Anyway. That didn't get written, because by the time I was writing the stuff that was taking place in modern Kyoto, I realized that the Act III wasn't working as written. So I dumped the Kyubei chapter and replaced it with the chapter where Mitsuhide connects with Katsu in Genba, the scene in the garden, and then I rewrote the scene on top of the castle wall to include Mitsuhide. I'm happy with that particular decision, because I think it ended up stronger that way. (Sorry Kyubei for dumping your chapter).

I don't think there was that much else I deleted between the first and the second drafts, but there was a fair amount added. Originally the priest who tries to buy Katsu on the slave ship was a one and done character and we never see him again. I later brought him back to that scene on the grounds of the temple that was used for the city managers meeting because the original scene felt a bit flat and needed more danger (originally Katsu just overhears a few different conversations, but that got repetitive). The decision to have him show up on the old video from Katsu's childhood was a last minute right before posting the chapter decision (originally the person in that scene was just a random stranger, but that didn't really pay off).

A couple of other more active scenes got added between the second and third draft to help the pacing. Most of that was in the second half of Act II, the stuff at and around the area where Mai and Hideyoshi were being held prisoner.

Oh a weird BTS thing for the chapter where Mitsuhide teaches Katsu how to pick and code crack locks, is that I actually ordered a couple of cheap antique lock knock-offs from Amazon, watched a few lock picking videos, and taught myself how it worked, to help write that chapter. That was a really fun chapter to write - I enjoyed trying to figure out the sexual tension subtext.

There is also a scene that I didn't write (because the modern section had gotten too long, and it didn't add anything except my personal fan service) but that I consider canon to the story (in my head), is that when Mitsuhide and Shingen were in modern Japan with Katsu and Sasuke, there was one night where they went to a games center and played Beat Saber. Maybe someday I'll go back and write it as a short story.

Again, thank you for asking. It's always fun to revisit this stuff, especially when I'm in the middle of breaking a new story and feel frustrated during the moments where I'm stuck. Helps to remember that the first draft is always messy and will change.

[mad-doodle-disease]

out with ye ruined olde, in with the ruined new

they spent all day and most of the night walking. every single second was spent either trudging forward or protecting themselves from an infected cog or toon. it was grueling for timmy riddle, horrifically normalized to prester, and physically painful for winston. despite the pain wrecking through the skelecog's rusted joints, winston quickly went back to their usual "chipper" self, talkative and chatty and now just oh so curious. it was initially a bit endearing, but quickly got grating. you can only listen to a faulty skelecog glitchily ask you questions about a world that has since gone up in flames so many times. when winston asked where "the sickness" came from, prester realized something.

he hadn't seen doodles at all lately. he saw tons of them during the start of the end times, but lately it felt like they didn't even exist anymore. had they gone extinct? that quickly? prester didn't care much for toon life, which doodles fell under, but the thought a species could be wiped out in a little over 3 weeks was terrifying. if the doodles could be wiped out that quickly what chance did anyone have?

they had to get out of ye olde toontowne, there was nothing for any of them left here. they didn't care where they went, they all just wanted to leave. timmy had spent his entire life in yott, so he had no preference. winston only had fuzzy memories of places other than yott or, in particular, the dungeon, those memories mostly being from sellbot hq or the now impossible-to-reach cog nation. prester had no preference.

they had soon found themselves in a new district. a much more modern seeming area, prester recognized it as the central oil district, or, as timmy would call it "toontown central". prester remembered that this place was apparently the place the infection started... for the womb of such a disease, they didn't see a lot of "life". only stationary corpses, curled up like wilted flowers.

prester virgil: hmmph, "silly street". such an infantile name, but i would not expect better from your ilk, timmy.

timmy just grit his teeth and boar it. oh, he wanted to turn this fucking lawbot bitch into a spoon or something so badly, but he had his wand confiscated by the yott elders before the infection started and never managed to get it back. winston whined, their metal joints getting somehow even more creaky than they originally were.

winston byrd: m-my fee-e-et hurttt... can we-e-e rest soon-oon? prester virgil: absolutely not. this place is hotbed of illness, we would be mauled post haste. timmy riddle: i don't know, this place seems like a ghost town to me... sounds to me like you just don't want to rest.

timmy leaned in examining prester a bit more closely. his eyes looked forcibly widened, like he was making a conscious effort to both stay awake and look awake. each blink, he swayed a bit to the side, as if powering off for a second before quickly turning back on. it was a bit eerie, how lifelike a robot could be.

timmy riddle: ...or maybe you just don't want to admit you need to rest. prester virgil: you dare accuse me of being exhausted? mooncalves! besides, we lack a safe space to rest, we are not just going to lay down in the middle of the road and resemble the cadavers that surround us!

timmy blinked for a second, walking over to a nearby building. "toontown cinerama. now playing 'night of the living dipped'. timmy took a second to acknowledge the irony, he never got to watch the film but it sounded like a zombie apocalypse thing... and they were currently experiencing something similar. timmy checked the door only to realize it was locked, so he settled with busting a window open with his elbow instead. he crawled through, bits of shattered glass cutting him up a bit, before unlocking and opening the door from the inside.

timmy riddle: found a safe space.

prester groaned, knowing that even he would not be able to resist the temptation of a good nights rest after countless sleepless nights. watching as winston rather quickly ran inside the abandoned theater, he begrudgingly followed suit.

winston byrd: a-a-a theater! a the-e-eater! its been s-so long since ive bee-en to a theater... o-or watched a-a movie o-o-or... a-anything fun! timmy riddle: dont you cogs hate fun or whatever? what kind of movies do you guys even watch? 2 hours on uninterrupted footage of a guy filing his taxes? winston byrd: i-i-i dont remember... i-i-i-i-i-i- prester virgil: im going to... rest my eyes for a bit... a simple cat nap, only a cat nap...

with that, prester limply fell forwards, hitting the ground with a heavy thud. this startled winston, who immediately assumed he had died and ran over to check on him. timmy did so too, although with less panic in his step.

winston byrd: pre-e-ester!? p-prester!! timmy riddle: relax, he just passed out. hes going to be fine... sadly.

winston worryingly picked up prester's hat, which fell off him due to the fall. they examined it for a second, really enjoying the feeling of the brim between their fingers, before placing it back on his head. timmy sat down in a chair, leaning back and tipping the brim of his own hat over his eyes.

timmy riddle: you should sleep too, or whatever you cogs do. you look like a mess, but then again you always look like a mess sooo...

timmy chuckled a bit, before falling asleep himself, leaving winston the only one still conscious. winston, being made incredibly curious from their newfound freedom, instead opted to explore the place. they found a couple blankets, a pillow, and some stale popcorn.

they returned to the entrance, draping two of the blankets over prester and timmy, leaving the last one for themself. they also gave prester the pillow cause that fall looked like it really hurt his head.

winston ate the stale popcorn, every last bit, not caring about the taste or how out of date it was. they then curled up on the floor, quickly falling asleep as they were used to sleeping on a floor. they were just happy to have a blanket and that the floor was carpeted for once.

that popcorn was the best damn popcorn they ever ate.

NEXT

[seeminglyseph]

listening to a podcast discuss The Orphanage and it keeps bringing up like. "It's sad enough that they're dead orphans, why are they also disabled??"

And I keep feeling like. I get. technically. that the film being a weird tragic horror film where like everyone dies basically and there's a bunch of like. dead disabled orphan children. which is really like both sad and off-putting in multiple ways in the film like. it prompts the question of 'why?'

but like. part of the point is like 'who are the most vulnerable people in society?' as well as 'who is most frequently villainized in horror movies?' because like. initially in the movie it impression of the disfigured and disabled ghost children is 'these ghosts are evil' because on top of being ghosts, one of them wears a mask to hide a disfigurement. And then the rest of them were murdered because they were very vulnerable and left in the care of someone who actively hated them and wanted to do them harm, and could because of how little disabled orphans like. matter? that sounds callous but like. it's not my perspective I very much mean it in the like. "Less Dead" kind of way. Like how much investigation and stuff gets prioritized. At some point people start feeling like 'they didn't have *that much* of a future anyway, so it's not like the murder is *that much* of a tragedy' and ultimately if you don't have a family to fight on your behalf then like... sucks to suck.

Something that's really terrifying about being disabled is like. if you don't have a community or no one really knows or likes you? like. you're kind of fucked. it's kinda been exemplified by the GoFundMe Healthcare Situation, but like. if you're not popular enough, if you don't have a family to advocate for you or support you, if you don't have people to give you advice, sometimes you just don't get help and you don't get acceptance and you don't get treatment and you don't get safety. But being disabled can also be extremely isolating because people really quickly lose patience for your limitations and for the idea of making accommodations.

I'm not gonna pretend it's always easy to be friends with someone, disabilities are as varied as the days are long and I can only speak from my perspective and I have more comorbidities than I technically even know currently. It makes things difficult for me, let alone people trying to work around me, and not everyone is willing to do that. Some of them suck eggs and some of them just have their own lives they have to prioritize. It's complicated, but it does leave me (and I will assume many other people in similar situations) in a complicated situation where our support network is very small but our need for support is very large.

And many people, through ignorance rather than malice, assume that there are already systems in place that care for people. The argument against larger social care networks aren't necessarily that they think people like me shouldn't have our needs met, they just have always assumed that these systems already exist. They think their taxes already pay for it and everyone is already being cared for and expanding the system is about a desire for overindulgence because they simply do not know what the reality is. They have been taught that if you work hard enough you can stay healthy, and if something happens you will be taken care of because there is some sort of social safety net that will catch you, and only the very few fall through because they failed in some way. That's why advocacy is so important, it's important to know that many disabilities can affect *anyone* at *any time* and the holes in the safety net are much larger than people have been led to believe, and are much easier to fall through. You can do *everything right* and still fall through. Your body can destroy you no matter how "healthy" you are. You can follow every piece of advice your doctor gives you, and be failed because you 'looked too healthy' to get sent in for scans on time. Sometimes working too hard will literally destroy your whole future and there's no one there to help when that happens. But it's important not to treat ignorance like malice because people will shut their ears to hard truth delivered with anger. So sometimes a message has to be tailored to an audience.

This has gotten away from me a bit.. but like. I think what I mean to say is like. sometimes I feel very frustrated. and this is my blog so often this is a place of venting and anger and ranting and stuff. But I do understand like. a majority of people are speaking out of ignorance rather than malice, and have their own troubles they feel overwhelmed by. I often try to tailor conversations personally to where people are at, rather than where I'm at because like. I can't expect everyone to prioritize my problems over theirs, especially if I don't even bother to learn what theirs are. And that's been a problem with some of modern political debate as far as I've seen it, a lot of 'your problems don't matter as much as mine' and everyone immediately gets angry if they're told that. like. universally. No one wants to be told their problems don't matter...

anyway. idk. the point of The Orphanage is that disabled kids without people to protect them are especially vulnerable and often the people who are supposed to protect them fail, and the people who need the most support have the least. And people assume those supports are in place and normal and far more sufficient than they are, and will lash out when that failure is pointed out to them. It's a difficult dance and exhausting, and so many people are lost to it because they don't do it well enough or fit in or fake the dance to a sufficient degree. and it's important to try and become aware of that with grace.

[shevee-the-word-wielder]

Creature of Soul Matter: The Emotion in Heart

Chapter 8: Threats and Failures

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Creature of Soul Matter: The Emotion in Heart AO3

With the Jambastion far behind us, we've been traveling for some time with not a single sight of any celestial bodies.

"It's dark out here." I offer.

I don't get a response. I direct my senses to his spot on my head and realize he's asleep. Noticing this, I understand that I'm also beginning to tire.

We finally encounter a solar system. There's only two planets though.

I look up expecting to see Kirby for some reason.

"Hm." I let out. I open a portal to the nearest planet and fly through.

Looking down at the planet, it's covered in dark vegetation, most being purple or red. I quickly descend down.

The air is extraordinarily humid. I go through the canopy and land on the ground, the planets seem to shift away from me.

I look around through the dense forest of what looks like trees and spot a smaller one. Its leaves are red and like vines, little luminescent veins run throughout them.

I walk up to the plant and brush aside the cover. Duckling through, I find the inside is much drier.

The trunk is in a spiral shape, the entire thing glowing orange, with little streams of water traveling through the grooves and into its roots.

Kirby's awake now. "Where are we?" He tiredly asks.

"Some planet, I was starting to get tired so I decided to land for a bit." I explain to him.

"Oh." He grabs onto my horn, probably still tired. "Can you get me down?"

I pick him up and plop him back down. He immediately runs outside.

"I'm going to find some food!" He calls before I can object. I guess he's no longer tired…?

Letting out my breath, I step up the trunk. I slump against it and let my eyes rest, making sure not to drift off to sleep. Some water from the stem dribbles down my back.

I hear shuffling. I let my eyes open and watch as Kirby stumbles in with two things in his hands.

"I found some!" He cheers.

I get a closer look at them. The food is light brown and top heavy plump, with little arch-like protrusions on them. They're also smaller than my nails.

"I think I'll pass… I don't eat much anyways…" I say, backing up.

"Oh well! More for me!" Kirby responds, shoving one into his mouth whole.

Immediately a purple liquid in a similar formation to his water ability pop onto his head.

" Oh, what is that one?" I ask, pointing at his head.

He looks up, "Oh poison." He closes down on the second fruit. His eyes open back up wide. "Oh, poison…" he snickers then starts rolling over laughing.

I smile at him but my eyes don't act the same. "Yeah… maybe it's for the best that I didn't eat that…"

He calms down, drops the ability, and works his way over to my hand. "This place is extra weird." He suddenly explains. "It's only plants, there's no animals anywhere." He grabs onto my arm and looks me in the face. "I even saw a few try to eat each other!"

"Oh? That is interesting." I look up and the vine tree's top. "The universe really is weird."

"Yeah," Kirby's playing with a small puddle next to him.

We sit for a few moments, I admire the unintentional beauty of the space under this plant. A thought comes to me.

"Kirby?" I look over to him. "Despite seemingly knowing me before and seeing me as an enemy, you've seemed to quickly grow to trust me. Why, is that?"

He turns to me. "Oh, ya knooww. I believe that people can be redeemed and have a second chance. And with you being not the Elfilis we fought, it couldn't hurt to just try to get to know you." He stares me dead in the eyes. "And, a friend of my friend is just another one of my friends!"

I puff out some air. "I like your mentality." I turn back to look forward and close my eyes. "I think I'm going to get some rest now. Wake me up if anything happens."

I open my eyes. A black space, a light from nowhere, a thin film of a black substance resting where I stand.

My eyes trail up. The viscous black liquid in more and more constrained matter as it approaches something,

Someone

Standing in the middle of this mess, being held up by the blackness.

It's the unrecognizable friend. The stuff latching onto their arms and torso. It follows up their body and onto their neck and face, sticking to their eyes and mouth.

They struggle and pull against it. Weakly crying out in agony and strain.

This substance has replaced their tears, constantly flowing out of them.

They try to open their mouth but it's snapped back shut.

The liquid is slowly climbing up their body, the stuff closest shifting around more and reaching up to grab more.

This grotesque manner of horror… A threat, it's a threat.

I take a step, reaching out. The substance acknowledges this.

Giant jaw-like formations lunge out of the mass and clamp down over the friend.

"No!" I scream, but I can't do anything as the murderous clamps drag down, leaving nothing behind. I fall onto my hands still reaching down.

Suddenly the ground gives out below me, and I forget how to fly. A dark decent follows me.

"Elfilis?" Calls a faint voice during my endless decent.

It comes again, but louder. "Elfilis?!"

I jolt awake feeling hot and breathing rapidly. I feel sweaty but my heart starts to calm.

Kirby's on my shoulder, looking at me with concern. "What happened?"

I let out one more calming breath. "Nothing… it was only a dream."

He slides down my arm but hops off halfway. He points towards my hand.

A little puddle of a dark liquid is there.

My fur stands on end, my ears start ringing and I panic. I snatch Kirby then try to pull my hand out. I struggle and pull, yanking over and over.

My hand pops out.

I fall to the ground and pick myself back up, the ringing fading. My breathing slows and I pick up Kirby to put him on my head. "We're going, now." I tell him, refusing to elaborate further.

I shove the vines to the side and step out. Immediately looking up, and I launch off the ground.

Once away from the planet I ask, "which way?"

Kirby slips onto my snout with the orb in hand. He points to my left and I push him back onto my head. I take off, wanting to just get this over with.

Planets and stars are still scarce, but they all wiz by with no time to process them.

Suddenly there's a large rock in front of me. It startles me and I immediately summon my halberd, slicing up and gashing it.

The cut glows a bit, confusing me, before the meteor spontaneously explodes.

Kirby grabs onto my horn, reminding me of his existence. "You seem on edge." He says, concerned. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

I let out an elongated breath. "I would love to, if I knew why, myself. It just feels like everything I know is under threat…"

"I understand that feeling. Whenever something really dangerous fights me, I can't help but to feel uneasy. But recently there's been more and more threats to all I know. My home, my friends, everything, even if it does take me a moment to process it... But I always pushed through! And you can too!"

I close my eyes, "You've been through a lot, now haven't you?"

"Yeeaaaahhh… you can say that I guess."

I take a beeper breath, then set off again.

The space around feels amiss now. Little sparks of green energy flare up every one in a while, with them becoming bigger and more frequent the more we travel.

My eyes are glazed over when Kirby tells me to "Stop!" He slides onto my snout. "Look!" He points just below us.

A very thin and insignificant crack is there. I follow it's trail and it slowly widens with distance.

I start to follow its trail as it bends through space.

The universe around me feels like it divots down as my eyes follow the now large crack to its body.

The rift is a dull neon green with the sparks of energy constantly jumping out of it. It swirls around in itself with a dark rumble emanating from it.

"Oh dear Void, what have we gotten ourselves into?" I dread as I slowly work my way over to its center.

"Oh we're gonna have fun here!" Kirby exclaims from my head, sounding quite genuine. He suddenly leaps down and into the rift, chuckling.

"Wait!" I panic. I reach my hands through the rift and manage to grab onto his malleable body, my hands completely enveloping him.

Trying to pull out but can't, I continue to struggle as the rift slowly pulls me in. I realize this is going nowhere, give up, and let it pull me through.

This space is a mess, constant ripples in reality with stuff ranging from metal plates to entire chunks of land. With the outer space being deep black and no signs of stars.

The pulses have no constant; there's different speeds, angles and sizes between each of these reality inconsistencies. Anything they run into seem to loss all properties and seemingly vanish, before re-materializing.

There's a little tap in my cupped hands. Oh right, Kirby.

I take off my top hand and am immediately met by a light. Kirby's… glowing?

"Kirby?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you glowing?"

He looks down at himself. "Oh? That's funny."

"Oh right!" I remember what Hyness said, "This place reacts to emotions. And because you're so perpetually happy, it must react positively back!" I playfully point at Kirby.

I turn to look behind me and notice the rift isn't there. "I guess we'll have to find another way out." I snap back. "Let's go."

I move through the space slowly as to avoid the objects.

A dark shape lunges between two landmasses.

Hyness did mention creatures…

It slithers it's way to the side of the land facing us and I freeze to look at it. This thing has a large body with six legs and two larger arms. It's body snakes down into a smaller, flat tail.

Twelve plain white eyes open on the upper part of it's body.

It suddenly launches at us, screeching. A jaw, nearly taking up its whole body with large, razor teeth, is gaping at us. It has three rope-like tongues with little pods at the end of each, each of the pods opening up. It's larger arms reach out to us, but not even reaching past its mouth.

It's in my arm length away from us when I summon my halberd and prepare to cut it down, but the creature falters. Everything that can close on it, does. It's starts hissing as if in pain.

It starts trailing downwards, getting just below us.

Kirby peeks over my hand and looks down at it, where it promptly starts screeching and flailing around.

It's tail flails around as if trying to swim before it… ignites a little?

The flame quickly engulfs the tails frills, the screeching becoming increasingly worse.

I look at Kirby and his gaze  slowly rises up to meet mine, confusion expressing all over his face.

I'm pretty sure Kirby caused this, and this thing doesn't like living right now…

I let Kirby go and grab my halberd in both my hands. I point the end at the smoldering creature and trust down, piecing straight through the body.

It's flailing stops and I remove my weapon, white blood trickles from its body.

I fly back up to Kirby and settle him down on my hand. "Yeah… I think I'm keeping you nearby. Where do you want to stay?"

He maniacally smiles at me then promptly launches off my hand and into my neck fur.

"Alright! Get cozy, I feel this will be quite the trip." I playfully tell my new pendant.

I see another creature in the distance, but this one travels away from us.

Everything except the objects can't approach us, the dimensional waves dissipate when they get near us and many horror like creatures scurry away when they only get a taste of Kirby's light.

This place really likes Kirby.

I have to destroy a land mass as it flies at us, it bursts and it's debris float around us. I shield my vision with my arm after a few hit my face.

I stop getting pelted, so I uncover my face and see a… vivid pink light in the far, far distance.

"That has to be him." I mutter.

I rush forward, everything that gets in my way I shove to the side with little to no force. This has to be him, we're so close to him, and nothing is going to get in my way.

I reach the point of the light, it's surrounded by a shell of various objects with pink escaping from random holes. Is this… him?

My hand a bit shaky, I reach out to the rubble and grab onto a metal sheet. I take a breath… and tear it off, throwing it to the side.

There he is, this is him. Galacta Knight rests unconscious inside his crystal containment, wings folded up with lance and shield in hand.

My breath catches in my throat. I've found him… I- I did it.

I reach into the shell and grab his prison. He's here, in my hands, he's in a coma… but he's here.

I hug him, holding him as close to my body as I physically can. My eyes tear up.

I pout the beginnings of crying, before breaking and fully crying, putting my everything into hugging this stupid crystal.

I'm glad Kirby's here, otherwise this dimension probably would've swallowed me whole…

I just float in space, that's all I want to do right now, but I have to get him out now.

I let go of the crystal to let it float. Lightly plucking Kirby off my chest to move him to my head, I summon my halberd.

I swipe at it, nothing. I chop down on it, still nothing. It starts to float down from the force so I grab it and fly it to the nearest land mass and put it against it.

I lunge the spearhead at it, continuing to try to dig in and push, but yet again, nothing happens.

"Maybe you can try to break it if we take it out of here?" Kirby asks from my head, sounding slightly worried…

…

Worried

I here a cry in the distance, they know that we're no longer protected…

My heart picks up speed, "Hold on." I instruct Kirby, putting Galacta's containment in one of my hands.

I burst forward, away from the noises.

I push through object after object trying to find an escape. I start to see shadows at the sides of me, darting from one place to another, they're catching up and surrounding us.

Did those people before us have to deal with this? I doubt it.

I spot a rift, it's eerie green glow just some distance away. I take off towards it, but the creatures are starting to cover in front of us, their screeches and roars growing louder.

They start to jump to the rift, likely to try to block my exit.

I put on an extra burst of speed.

I ram into the rift. Busting out on the other side, freedom from that place at last… Galacta Knight's gone.

I take Kirby off of me and leave him to float in space, I whip around and there is still a rift there. I dive back in.

I find Galacta Knight again, but I also find the creatures still there. I grab the crystal and try to shove it through the portal, to my dismay, it won't go through.

I push again and again, I shove my back to it and press from there, occasionally swiping away a creature as they approach.

I jump through the tear again.

On the other side I reach through and grab the crystal and try to pull it through, it still won't come.

Creatures start to reach through, slowly reaching up higher and higher. I'll have to portal away to escape, but I can't focus enough…

Elfilin

|"Elfilin!"|

|"Wah? Huh!?"|

|"I need you to make a vortex right now, wherever you are, just make one now!"|

|"Okay!?"|

I feel a very slight twinge as he opens one. I connect to it and enlarge it.

I open it's other end just away from us and let go of Galacta. I burst forward, grabbing Kirby, just as the things start really pushing out.

They rush towards us. But I reach the portal.

The other side is bright as I launch through. Gravity takes it's effect and I slam into the ground, pain shooting through my body.

I quickly turn onto my back to look at the vortex and snap it shut, cutting a few of the creatures limbs away in the process.

Still breathing heavily, I fully collapse onto my back.

I hear screaming coming from around me and see Waddle Dees running all about.

Dedede, Meta Knight, Bandee and Kirby are trying to calm them all down and Elfilin flies to my head.

"What happened?! What were those things?!" He panics.

A cough comes out as I sit myself up, "We uh, we had to get out." My vision is impaired by my daze. "And those things were… creatures… from that rift…"

"Did you find Galacta Knight?"

I freeze, full realization of what just happened settling in.

I slowly look down at my hands, my eyes tearing up, "he was… right there… I had him, he- he was-" I was so close… yet destined to fail.

"He d- didn't com- me through the r- rift with u- us." My ability to hold back fails; I clasp onto my face and start crying again, the outside world dying away.

All the books Hyness got, and yet that was our last option. He's alive, he exists, but I can't get him back.

My wings cocoon over me.

Him just being dead would be better than this, there's no hope. All I want to do is lay down and cease to exist.

Elfilin slips through my wings, "Elfilis?"

… He's not going to leave me alone, "Go away…" I mumble through my sobs, "I don't deserve you…"

"What? What are you saying? Where did this come from? That's not true! Why would you say that?" He tries to encourage.

My break down fades but I still feel the pains of my failure washing over me. "If I can't protect my friends and only hurt myself when I try, then what would make me deserve any more?"

He grabs my finger and and I let him pull my hand away from my face; I don't want to put him through any strain.

"But… you tried. Just think about that, you care for your friends so much that you put your life in danger so that you can try to save them. Even if you do fail… that's still incredible. You're being the best friend you can manage, I admire you for that, and it just means that you deserve love back." He explains to me, still holding onto my finger and looking at me with his worried eyes.

His eyes… I just watch his galaxy imbued eyes, thinking about what he's told me.

They're truths that I already knew, but haven't truly thought about until now.

I drop my other hand down with a sigh and move my finger from his grasp. I graze his cheek with my thumb as lightly as I can.

Bright,

"Have I ever told you how gorgeous your eyes are?"

Happy,

A weak smile comes to my face.

Precious eyes.

He rushes to me, landing in my neck fur and trying his hardest to hug me.

I let out an exasperated and feeble chuckle, he's just so small. I take my hand and lightly wrap it around him.

Bringing him up to my face, I close my eyes and nuzzle him, and he nuzzles back; the closest thing we can get to a two way hug is this.

My wings unfold; the Waddle Dees seem to have calmed down. I let my eye slightly open and it immediately falls on Meta Knight.

His gaze feels different, softer. The way he looks at me feels different in other ways as well, I think he's starting to trust me more. That's the impression I'm getting at least.

I let go of Elfilin and he floats back down to everyone. A small mass of Waddle Dees surrounds us all, with Dedede holding and lightly patting one that's still panicking.

Meta Knight suddenly reaches into his cape and he pulls out the Energy Sphere. He stares at it, then looks up to me and back down to it.

He sighs, closing his yellow eyes. When he opens them back up, he looks me right in the eyes. "I think it's about time we follow this." He decides.

[mzannthropy]

I never even thought of the point about Prim and Katniss's mother being left alone if she dies in her second games.>> Me too. I only realized it more recently when I rewatched the first and then the second film. I had only seen the first one once, so I decided to see what her situation was like, and she loved her sister and didn't get along with her mother. I also read that if Katiniss died, her family would have to leave the victors' village, and they would have to return the money. So which makes the whole saving Peeta thing pointless and a forced, cheap romance. At the beginning of Catching Fire, she doesn't give Peeta shit, so when the games are announced, her first thought is to save him and not her sister? And is she the one who inspires the rebellion? She doesn't do anything in the second film that shows she's a hero like she did in the first. All she does is treat Finnick badly even after he saved Peeta; not caring about Mags; and she still planned to run away with Peeta, while the others killed themselves. Detail, from the moment she asks Haymitch to save Peeta, it shows that not even she believed in his potential, which makes him weaker than he is. She can't even save him. If it wasn't for Finnick, he would have died at the beginning of the arena.

Nine years of pent up thoughts, feelings and frustrations about this series--and yet I suddenly struggle with what to say!

If any fans should stumble upon this post--please ignore, thanks.

Let me address your last point first: Finnick saves Peeta's life in the arena. Only for him to die himself. Peeta got to live and have kids with Katniss (that she never wanted), two whole people that would not exist had it not been for Finnick. I hope those brats at least learned his name. (In the book, nothing about any of the other characters is acknowledged, what the film did at the end, with Katniss looking at Annie's photo of her with her son, that doesn't happen in the book--clearly even the screenwriters realised some sort of conclusion was needed!). Look, I don't give a fuck about the k/p pairing, let them live their little life in their little meadow or wherever the fuck they are, I just hate how unfairly the series treats everyone else and how many people lost their lives bc of these two.

K/P are presented simultaneously as star-crossed lovers and fake dating to lovers, so both popular tropes and I wonder if that's why they are such a beloved pairing. Personally, I don't buy either. Like I said in your previous ask, the way they both get to win their first games is way too contrived for me. (Are you telling me that, in the previous 73 games, no other district tried to pull a similar "we are in love" stunt? The very fact that a boy and a girl are reaped from each district, pretty much begs for such a stunt, especially as they're teenagers. Or how about pretending to fall in love with someone from a different district, in the arena? That would make for a juicy viewing!)

Then, I don't understand why Katniss became the Mockingjay, other than that she was the main character and the author wanted it so. She doesn't care about the revolution. She's not some Alexei Navalny figure, gods rest his soul. She's a wind up toy that goes "Peeta Peeta Peeta waah waah waah". Am I supposed to be convinced that someone as powerful as President Snow is threatened by one teenage girl??? He could have her killed and make it look an accident or suicide without a blink of an eye. He could have Prim killed and make it look an accident without a blink of an eye. Jesus.

I don't think any particular character should have been the Mockingjay, btw. I think all of them should have been it. At least those that were at the forefront of the revolution. Go full I Am Spartacus, except literally, after all, this is clearly influenced by the gladiator games.

I wonder if fans of this series are all also k/p shippers, bc there isn't in reality anything else. But bc it deals with Serious Issues, it allows people to make deep posts on tumblr about how oppressive governments are wrong and war is bad. And still they get to have their OTP to write fluffy fanfics about.

I was looking through one-star reviews of Mockingjay on Goodreads again and found a recent one, which articulates the problems really well. Also there is a post I reblogged a while ago. I think the "terminal incuriosity of Katniss's POV" hits the nail on the head for me. Curiosity is a trait value highly, so her narration would never work for me.

I know Katniss has trauma. But the thing is, every-fucking-body in Panem has trauma, bc you can't live under an oppressive regime and not have trauma.

Mockingjay is the most disappointing book I've ever read.

[adultswim2021]

Squidbillies #45: "Confessions of a Gangrenous Mind" | June 15, 2009 - 12:00AM | S04E05

Tonight’s episode of Squidbillies mostly involves Granny just flapping her dang jaw to the other squids. She mentions Rusty’s great grandpapa, a man Early has disdain for. This doesn't actually have a pay off, because the man is shrouded in mystery and he seems to be surprised by the reveal himself at the end of the episode.

Granny begins to tell various tales about how she met the man she calls grandpapa, but keeps telling tales that mislead Rusty (and the FUCKING BEAUTIFUL bloggers watching) into thinking she’s talking about the man in question, but she’s actually talking about some random dude she gave a handy to. We never do find out who she’s talking about, as she seems to just pull the name General Sherman out of her ass, which would make the squids Yankees. This is overshadowed by Early’s realization that means they won the war, causing him to shoot his gun into the air in celebration. 

This one has a lot of flashbacks, and some bits of business where they huff gasoline and Early goes out to buy some of those bullethole decals for his truck. Also the start of the episode has Granny trying to get laid by a trucker on a CB radio. Okay, I know what a lot lizard is, but the guy on the other end of the radio conversation says he’s hauling pine cones. Is THAT trucker lingo? Is it fake trucker lingo? Was it meant to be literal? To all the truckers reading this, please illuminate me.

Granny claims sexual encounters with Rhet Butler (from Gone with the Wind), Julius “Dr. J” Erving (from the world of professional basketball), Nitro (from American Gladiators), and Jesus Christ (from S01E04 of Squidbillies). She also credits a Frankenstein monster of her own creation might’ve gotten into that sweet squid puss. 

Some of Granny’s flashbacks have to do with her being a slave, and she has a delusional memory of her and all the slaves being really happy. This is maybe the biggest laugh of the episode, and is likely inspired by a similar characterization from the withheld Disney film Song of the South. The brilliant mind that runs the Squidbillies wiki writes: “The African slaves are revealed to pick up cotton during the past.” Hey, thank you for that. That’s the best part of the episode. The rest was okay. I don’t mind this show, really.

MAIL BAG

Let's face it folx, chalet 2000 sucks and if you like or try to defend it you're retarded. facts!

It is in the running for their worst sketch, and it's a good thing they made it show-length, so you can just skip that entire episode. When that sketch where Scott plays the queen and thinks Canada is leaving the Monarchy you have to fast forward and try not to miss the next sketch. Hey, isn't it weird that that queen sketch is in a best-of? It literally might be my least-favorite sketch of theirs. Huh!

Besides Ben from Dr. Katz (which you don't like that much because you put it behind Workaholics for clicks) and Coach McGuirk do you like H. Jon Benjamin in anything else? Curious.

Folks (or folx, as some people like to say), he's referring to a twitter thread where I ranked every Comedy Central show. I am going to think about this without looking anything up. I liked him when he called into the Best Show on WFMU. I liked him as the voice of the canned vegetables on Wet Hot American Summer. I liked what little of Jon Benjamin has a Van I saw. There's a current commercial where he's the voice of a pigeon and I detest it with all of my soul. Just keeping it real.

Can I spit some real at you, kimosabe? When you said "I didn't know Adam Savage could be so savage" a few years ago...fucking hilarious. He's an okay dude though you should be nice to him. That whole scene was messed up but I think our boy came out clean. See you on the Mybusters forums, broshoes.

I think it's a good idea to just not care about Adam Savage, that way you don't have to have an opinion. I think I must have momentarily thought he was Adam Ruins Everything guy, which I would've gotten significant schadenfreude off of finding out was rude to his sister.

KON! writes:

Mick Foley aka "Mankind" has multiple claims to fame even to the non-wrestling aficionado: 1. being from Long Island 2. looking like Kevin Smith 3. officiating a wrestling match between Eric Matthews, Matthew Lawrence, and the giant redhead in an episode of Boy Meets World

BIG LOL at calling her the "giant" redhead. I know what you mean. She's large and in charge and I think of her often.

I always thought it was weird that they banned the confederate flag episode of Squidbillies considering "The Fine Ol Solution" is way worse imo

I didn't know about that episode being banned, damn!

[a-tale-never-told]

Historical Events and Questions

//Greeting everyone, Mod Sam here. Today, I'm doing something different compared to my other methods. As you know, one of the main themes of this story blog is history and how it can significantly alter our modern world as we know it. Unfortunately, given the key factor that the majority of my audience doesn't know what history even is, I took it upon myself to fix that with some... unique solutions.

//First, I tried to make two Google Docs explaining the main topics about the Stasi and the Soviet Union, but since they did rather... poorly, I've felt as if I needed to stop focusing on the worldbuilding for now and channel the rest of the writing into the characterization and dialogue in order to improve the story, which is still my main objective. However, I wasn't just going to let the historical aspect disappear into irrelevancy, though it would be less focused on untill we get deep into the story.

//Then, one of the anons came to me and suggested that I do a similar strategy for worldbuilding by organizing it into a separate tab for each key piece of worldbuilding, which is ironically enough what I originally planned to do when I had time, but I didn't because since Nagito appeared, I got flooded with asks related to him, so I didn't have time to make it.

//But now, I'm ready to answer these important, vital questions that you all have honestly been waiting for since we started this story, so I'll be going into this in question format, answering the questions that are massively relevant to this blog and the plot as a whole. So, without further ado, let's begin.

'What is the Cold War? And how does it affect the story?'

//The Cold War was essentially a worldwide conflict fought between two superpowers. On one side, you had the United States of America, coming off of their absolute victory against Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan after the Second World War, with them being the only nation that had their homeland basically unscathed or damaged during the conflict (Unless you count Pearl Harbor) and being the champions of democracy, and the other major superpower in this world was the Soviet Union, aka Russia, who pretty much suffered the absolute worst amount of damage and casualties of all countries that were involved in WW2, but had rapidly rebuild themselves to become on par with the US, in terms of military power and influence.

//The thing that made the Cold War unique was that both America and Soviet Russia never fought one another, instead deciding to channel their international, ideological influence through wars in Africa, Asia, and Latin America, supporting the participants on opposing sides, as well as a massive nuclear arms race, and what most people remember the most when it comes to the Cold War, espionage. If you have ever seen a James Bond film, you know what I'm talking about, except it was far more difficult and complex than Bond.

//The Cold War began shortly after the end of WW2 and lasted untill 1991, when the Soviet Union and Eastern Bloc collapsed and formed the modern Russia we all know and love today, leaving the US and NATO as the sole victors of the conflict. Notable conflicts and events of the Cold War era include Korea, Vietnam, the Cuban Missile Crisis, Angola, the Arab-Israeli Wars, the Iran-Iraq War, and numerous more conflicts I can't even mention here. So in short, this conflict is a major part of the story and plot.

'What is the Soviet Union? And why do they matter?'

//The Soviet Union is a complicated topic to get in itself, as I did a whole Google Doc explaining why, but if you want a simplified short version of it, they were essentially a political entity formed out of what remained of the former Russian Empire (Yes, Russia was an empire back then.). But it wasn't just Russia, it was anywhere the Russian state shared a border with, with a few exceptions. Countries that joined the Soviet Union besides the Russians were Ukraine, Belarus, Kazakhstan, the Baltic States, and several others.

//By 1917, Russia was on the immediate verge of collapse, as constant losses to the Germans, abysmal tactical command, and incredibly poor supply issues both at the front and at home caused an immediate collapse of the country. Riots broke out over food shortages, police clashed with protesters, and even with military soldiers who had mutined and had now come to join their fellow civilians in the streets. Eventually, Nicholas II resigned as tsar (Or the king) of Russia, a temporary government made up of several Russian politicians, who came together to stabilize the situation and try to control the rampant amount of anarchy and chaos in the city.

//However, they weren't able to hold onto power for long. A Russian political communist by the name of Vladimir Lenin, a hardline Marxist, who also rocked the mother of all goatees, eventually led a revolution against the government, overthrowing them with relative ease and installing himself along with his political faction, the Bolsheviks, essentially a group of radicals that were tremendously just as bad, if not worse than Lenin.

//After a brief and particularly bloody civil war, and a period of state violence known as the Red Terror, Lenin passed away in 1924, giving the reigns of power to Joseph Stalin, who is basically history's version of Maverick Storm and Junko Enoshima combined, and would become one of the most tyrannical and monstrous dictators and men that ever lived. Stalin essentially transformed the Soviet Union down a different path, at the cost of millions of deaths in the span of decades, but that's a really lengthy story for another time.

'Explain the racist system of Apartheid. How does it affect the society of South Japan?'

//Apartheid South Africa is certainly a very interesting topic in history, as it is the absolute dark reality the American state could've been if just a few awful decisions had been taken. Considering that Apartheid is a really underrated villainous part of history that doesn't even get mentioned as much as other parts of racism and bigotry, I decided to use that as the basis of South Japan.

//Apartheid was an institutionalized version of racial segregation across South Africa when the minority white population enslaved the majority black, African population and segregated them in basically every part of society imaginable, as well as dominated the culture, society, and politics of South Africa from 1948 to the early 90s. For example, there was a law that forced black Africans to be removed from their homes and forced into segregated neighborhoods, and laws made it illegal for South Africans to pursue sexual relationships across racial lines.

//Imagine if Hitoshi and Kaori never married due to the existing legislation law banning relationships between racial boundaries or if the Owaris were evicted from their household due to being African-Japanese, so that's one of the numerous examples of Apartheid. Think of the American South in the 1960s with segregation, except abysmally worse. In fact, most of South Japan's policies when it comes to racism and sexism are based off of South Africa's. Apartheid officially ended in 1991, when the legislation was repealed and elections were held in 1994 that elected Nelson Mandela, a prominent opponent of apartheid, as the first black African president of South Africa.

//In short, Apartheid lives on throughout this alternate version of Japan, as you have all been shown with Hope's Peak.

'How is Japan divided in this AU? Explain.'

//Well, the division of Japan happened due to Operation Downfall, the planned, amphibious invasion of Japan during WW2. While in our timeline, the nuclear bombs prevented any such invasion from happening due to the American government not wanting to waste more lives to take the islands, in this AU, the invasion goes underway resulting in almost the entire Western and Southern portion of the nation taken by the Americans and British, and the Russians take the Northern side of it, and the island of Hokkaido as well. Naturally, it was divided along the same lines as Germany was, with Britain and the US getting the Southern portion, while the Russians gained the rest of the North to themselves.

//Naturally, to the Japanese public, this didn't particularly sit well, as they feared being occupied and seeing almost half their culture and national identity being stripped away by foreign powers, especially Russia. But in the end, the partition was signed and Japan was officially divided amongst the three powers.

//Fun fact, China was originally supposed to get a portion of the nation in the middle of the country, but due to the Chinese Civil War and China falling to communism in 1949, they were denied that position.

'What is the Stasi? How do they matter?'

//The Stasi are essentially the foreign and domestic intelligence network of East Germany, similar to the Kgb. Formed during the 1950s, and located in East Berlin, they served as one of the most effective spy agencies of the Cold War, and the most feared.

//If you were caught by the Stasi, you are significantly screwed, as they would psychologically manipulate their victims and literally make them go insane, all the while disguising their involvement in the manipulation themselves. Think of abuse stories, and child abuse, incredibly toxic relationships, and the Stasi would certainly use such tactics to their advantage. It is disgusting yet effective to them at the same time.

//They maintain their information through an extensive network of civilian informants, only extending their reach to unprecedented levels. About 1 of every 63 East Germans was a Stasi informant, and they possibly have agents in the millions in the state, and abroad. They also financed several Neo-Nazi groups to discredit the West and spread disinformation about HIV and AIDs that the US created the diseases, and even tried to assassinate the pope. In short, they are probably the most degenerate group of individuals that we have on this blog so far, and it's saying something when we have people like Junko Enoshima and Junya Utsugi, who are scumbags on their own.

//So, I'm going to stop here for now. I'll be sure to update it when I can since this post is taking an incredible amount of time to create and post, as well as the fact that I don't want to bore you all with this, as I just felt like these were the most important topics to address so far. Obviously, this is not the end of the lore tunnel, as I'm making sure to update the lore constantly whenever I'm not occupied with the story or as the plot and the story goes on, and I do intend to explain more, just in different areas that simple posts like these cannot explain.

//I seriously hope you enjoyed this lore post, and I will post a link to it in the tab, in the Lore/Worldbuilding section. Otherwise, I hope you all have a great day, and I'll see you shortly!^^.

[confusedmomfriend]

Tw: death/suicide, graphic description of suicidal thoughts, self-harm, trauma, bad thoughts, blood,

Do you ever have a train of thought that is that is so incredibly painful to you but it is a situation or experience that is so removed from the daily trajectory of you life that you can't about it to the people in your life because having to explain it to them makes you feel so exposed and cornered that you feel as if you were flayed and then stabbed with a million needles like a less suave version of Pinhead? Do then you try to write it down to articulate your thoughts on it, first by journaling, then letters addressed to no one that sit on your dresser and even the art form you do (painting, poetry, sculpture etc) but all you it leaves you feeling so incredibly unfulfilled and lonely that you think you'll die without at least the possibility of connecting with another human being. That is the reason I've decided to throw this out in the Aether.

A few days ago I was watching a YouTube video summarizing the latest bad thing Logan Paul has done and halfway through there was a clip of some other YouTuber calling out Logan for insulting him by bringing up some of the most horrible things he's ever done and the first thing he mentioned was the situation in Japan and I had a very visceral reaction to it for several reasons and it has been clawing at me since.

I've been trying to understand why a situation that happened 6 years ago halfway across the world for me being mentioned made me have such a horrible reaction. (I understand that time doesn't exactly diminish how disturbing certain things, situations, topics can be and that situation is definitely one of things that will always be disturbing regardless of time or geography but I've had several panic attacks about it in the days since I've heard what was essentially a sentence about it).

What was said in the small clip was simply "...this is the man who filmed a **** ****." And then the person moved on to list several other things. Why did that affect me so much?

I think it's because when I've thought about dying in that way, I've thought so much about it. I thought of every possible way I could do it down to what would happen in the immediate aftermath. If I'd survive or not, who would find me first, how long my family and friends would grieve or if they would at all, how much blood I'd spill or how long it'd take for me to die by strangulation-

Could someone save me before then?

Could someone save me?

All of it was personal, all of it was intimate, all of it was such a desperate cry of help and a few times I was so close to being the next person you'd see in a news article.

That makes me think that the reason why I reacted so badly to that person's death being mentioned for something so miniscule, for a gotcha moment for something completely unrelated is because in a way it makes me feel exploited. (I am in no way comparing myself to the tremendous pain that person must have gone through to have ended it that way, this is more a reaction and a kinship I feel toward them). Because anytime I thought of ending it I thought of my loved ones discovering my body. I wanted the people who cared for me to tenderly begin the process of putting my body to rest. For them to mourn in peace and privacy, because I love them and despite the pain in that moment seeming too much to keep me anchored by their love, I wanted them to heal and move on from me in the least painful way possible.

I did not know that person, but they probably also had similar thoughts or even if they didn't I can't imagine the horror of waking up to your loved one's death being broadcast by some monster and then it becoming one of the most widely discussed topics for days if not weeks. I can't imagine being found by someone who had such disrespect of human life/death/suffering that looking at my body only made him think of the number of clicks this could get.

And I think what pains me right now the most, is that that person will never be allowed to rest in anonymity. Logan will continue to do horrible things and try to gaslight people and in an attempt to hold him accountable or simply as a quick "check yourself bro" people will bring up this person who has been reduced to just a terrible thing that Logan did.

Their suffering and their family's suffering will be thrust in between various commentary, jokes and sound bites because Logan's actions, in a way, separated this person from their own story or narrative. People think of them in association with Logan Paul's disgusting actions and perhaps even their family can't mourn them without the additional trauma Logan gave them.

It makes me feel helpless in some strange way because I feel like this could've just as well been me. It could've been my family going through a commentary video 6 years after my death to hear such a casual reminder of their grief.

"...this is the man who filmed a **** ****."

[tabernaclehearts]

So Much Can Happen in a Minute

The day starts with me groggily pressing snooze on the alarm twice before getting up to shut it off completely. I'm still incredibly tired from attending my first rave, Dabin's Stay in Bloom festival. I think what I'm starting to realize is that I enjoy "harder" bass, so most of the rave was composed of my friends and I swaying back and forth in our intricate costumes. Two devils and a cat.

All of us were completely sober and I didn't eat / drink anything before the event so I sat for ~10 minutes after being stupid and smoking a cig. Surrounded by legs, I curled up into myself and tried to focus on staying alive as the music fell upon the crown of my head in splinters. After a short period of rest in which I was able to get my hands on a water bottle, I rallied until the end of the show and came back home at midnight. I drafted a new Substack post and fell asleep around 2AM, the draft abandoned in the open window.

The only reason why I am awake so early is because I have office hours with my Korean film professor. I find out that he actually studied Italian during his undergrad years, and we had a very short conversation in Italian (more like him asking me questions and me giving these really shitty 1-3 word responses). I also find out that he's very interested and particular about the stationery he uses, and for the next hour, we animatedly discuss which notebooks and pens are the best, which ones are the classics, and which ones suck (fuck Moleskine). Next, we talk about the intimacy of handwriting and how the practice of letter-writing is something that is dying, but still incredibly important. Perhaps even more important, with the development of technology and the convenience of text message / email.

We also discuss Lee Chang-dong's 2010 film, Poetry. I talk about how I had created and was president of the club at my high school and how I spent most of my high school days facilitating and advertising after-school programs and summer workshops for younger students, all surrounding the practice and craft of poetry.

---

To be honest, I feel that this era of my life was pivotal to the creation of the person I am today. It was one of the most rewarding experiences, and I found great joy in seeing the looks of astonishment and interest on their faces, lit up with wonder. Children are so much more intelligent than we realize. Anyone can write poetry!

---

Anyways, back to present day. We discuss the meaning / definition of poetry and if it was properly displayed in the film. What it means to "see" something in order to write about it, the significance of that last sequence of the film—how arresting and devastating and lost it made us feel. The time flew by quick and someone knocks on the door, so I make a hasty goodbye before promising to meet again. I find that I make a lot of similar promises these days.

I don't have any specific plans today, so I take the long way home, walking straight down to Southside and weaving my way towards Downtown Berkeley instead of cutting through campus. I take note of all the things that had been part of my daily life last year—the crackly sound of some Korean TV show in Johnston's Market, the maroon-white walls of Garden Village, Pegasus Books—I have too many books to bring back home, but I can't help but go in. I spend the next two hours peering into dusty shelves and flipping through the worn pages of used books, listening to the entirety of Lana Del Rey's discography spinning on an Audio-Technica AT-LP60X-BK that they keep at the checkout desk. I leave with a silent goodbye to all of these places. This time, I don't look back.