#the resolution is shot to poo | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thezfc · 3 years ago

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I also feel like it would be easy to count the number of words that Tom has uttered on the show. He sure doesn’t talk a lot - it’s a lot of broody faces and lusty close-ups. //

Right!? It seems like they've focused a ton on the maid and the doctor, both of whom I can't stand. Again, I don't know if it's the actors playing them or if that's how the characters are written (I wonder how faithful an adaptation this is, maybe somebody who's read the book can enlighten us), but by god I can't stand those two. 😂

And yeah, Tom seems underutilized, but again maybe that's actually how the story is written. Either way, gotta be honest, even though yes this episode was slightly better than the last one, that's objectively some of the worst acting I've ever seen from him. 😩😱

I hate to say it too cause we all know he's a fantastic actor but um...yeah no. I'm not buyin it.

It makes me wonder if the book is this bad too; I have a copy and I'm not even sure I want to sit down and read it now 😬

Paul Thomas Anderson said something like 15 years ago when he was on Charlie Rose with Daniel Day-Lewis promoting There Will Be Blood, and it's always stuck with me; he said: "If there's a problem, it usually *starts* with the writing." No truer words have been spoken.

I just feel like this was, sadly, terribly written, or terribly adapted but either way (sorry 😣) nobody's winning any Emmy awards for this pile o' poo....except maybe the costume department.

I agree that the woman who plays her friend/nanny is playing it very sullen and bitchy. Like I feel like she rarely smiles except when she got drunk at the party.

I know that @kaleidoscope-vol2 read the book and said that there’s a lot of characterization stuff that you get in the book that they’re not doing in the show that makes you understand the relationships better. I think that’s what we’re missing here. It’s too much focus on the townspeople and that family — I was so glad this past episode to be away from that (I think that’s why I liked it a lot more).

I also do not need this Socialism/help the poor plotline that feels like it’s not well planned out and will have no resolution. They should’ve just focused on the Will and Cora relationship and the serpent and we don’t need this side stories about these other people.

I also just feel like the Director takes up a lot of time with long shots where no one says anything and they’re unnecessary. I think about in the last episode both times someone was on a train it was like a good 30 seconds to a minute of them being on a train and nothing happened like can we just skip that part and go straight to wherever they were going?! Do we need to see that much of a train? No. Also when his daughter decided to go to see her if her friend was back they showed her running over there and then getting over there and then nobody was home and then walking back and seeing the goat that was dead…why do we need to see all of that. Who cares? So there’s a lot of that that makes it feel very slow but also like it’s moving too fast because we don’t really get to know these people.

Tom is great at acting with his face but I think he’s been wasted in this role. It’s disappointing.

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landroverphotoalbum · 3 years ago

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A little insight into what I call, 'a night out'. The pic is a 'screengrab' from footage I shoot first thing on a Saturday morning, September 2019 at the @land_rover_owner_international show, Peterborough. I know the image is a touch on-the-piss & not great quality. It's a warts n' all shot designed to make me look tired & flustered, which means it wasn't designed at all, it's how things were which can make for a more interesting scene than a contrived shot. Thr footage was shot with the much overlooked Sony FDR X3000 action camera, if the scene looks a little too poo during the final edit I can always correct the horizontal level as it was shot in 4K, meaning I've a bit of room to play with in terms of image manipulation & resizing. Talking of 4K footage, a quick tip for budding amateur film makers/photographers; any large image resolution/pixel count, including 4K isn't code for magic. 4k doesn't mean that you can crop in from 4k (3840x2160) down to Full HD 1080p (1920x1080) without loss of image quality just because your final film is to be 1080p. There are many variables to consider when filming/photographing with the intent of cropping any image, including camera sensor size/ability, your lens quality, size & type. The format you shot in & above all, light. Depending on the camera setup & light you can manage to maintain much better image quality when cropping 1080p footage than when cropping 4K using a lesser hardware in non-optimal conditions (poor light). Also, be sure to know your equipment. Dialing in the correct settings will aid you. For those that don't have the time, money, patience or knowledge to think about the above, all is not lost. If you have the passion & a ripping yarn you can practically get away with filming in a any quality - just avoid too much shaky-cam - glossy footage of even the very best scenery & subjects is nice but, as is with books and radio, a compelling narrative is the key to a film the overwhelming majority of viewers will invest their time By @landroverphotoalbum #landrover #L319 #Discovery3 #LR3 #Discovery #landroverdiscovery #landroverphotoalbum #inkyenston #landroverevolved #peterboroughlandrovershow #LROShow (at Landrover Owner International Show) https://www.instagram.com/p/CTKcewINsbM/?utm_medium=tumblr

#landrover #l319 #discovery3 #lr3 #discovery #landroverdiscovery #landroverphotoalbum #inkyenston #landroverevolved #peterboroughlandrovershow #lroshow

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thejakeformerlyknownasprince · 8 years ago

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what are your feelings on the buffahuman book?

Short opinion: I can admit that there are some cool concepts in this book if I’m willing to overlook its three or four glaring plot holes.

Long opinion:

It seems like Cassie’s books tend to be either earth-shattering adventurefests that sweep the plot of the series forward in leaps and bounds (#4 and Ax, #19 and Aftran, #29 and the YPM, #34 and Aldrea, #50 and the Auximorphs) or they are extremely random asides that have no connection to the main plot and never come up again after they’re over (#14 and the andalite PortaPotty, #24’s Helmacron battle, #44 and the Random Australian Field Trip, #39′s buffahuman) and there’s pretty much no in-between. And yeah, this book is both totally random and objectively bad.

However, criticizing this book also kind of feels like swatting a fly: the poor fly already has enough problems what with being small and ugly and disease-ridden and only having 28 days to live, so smearing it on the ceiling is just mean. I’m happy to lovingly poo-poo on the Animorphs books that have a fair number of admirers among the fandalites but don’t personally appeal to me (#41, #30) and the ones whose issues have Deeply Unfortunate real-world implications (#40, #46) but kicking this one while it’s already down is like… like shooting a buffalo that never asked to get accidentally turned into a freak of nature and is just trying to go about its buffalo life without bothering anyone. Bearing that in mind, I’d like to start by mentioning a few things this book does right.

The Good

Once again, this book shows off Cassie’s strengths. She can run and keep running for a long time while also refusing to compromise her morals (no matter how idiotic the resultant decisions might be under pressure), she can work well alone, she can do nearly-impossible things with morphing, and when necessary she can fall from the sky in order to squash her problems flat on the ground. Cassie is awesome in this book, mostly by being Cassie.

This plot also starts with an emergency right in the first couple pages, and the tension does not let up until the very end. The plot-driving problem is a pretty simple one, but it does excuse the Animorphs’ needing to run and keep running for several hours. The entire story takes place in just a few hours, which gives this one a very tight feel with no room for unnecessary frills.

There are a couple of mind-blowingly simple tactics—throwing the morphing cube across the roadblock, shoving several controllers off a cliff, dropping an “anvil” on the helicopter—that the kids use to get around the yeerks, which I always have a soft spot for because it makes it feel realistic that six children could figure out how to defeat an empire. They might not be the Justice League (and portraying them as chessmasters of strategy would be silly and unrealistic), but they get by anyway through coming up with creative solutions to complex problems.

I love that their plan to drop whale-Cassie on the helicopter fails. I have a huge soft spot for plots in which the heroes’ grand master idea simply does not work (something that happens a lot in this series) just because, once again, it feels realistic. There are a ton of risks inherent in their plan: Cassie could miss the helicopter, Cassie could end up unable to catch the helicopter at all, Cassie could hit the helicopter but be wood-chipperified by its rotors, Cassie could hit the helicopter and survive but squash her friends on the landing… The fact that it doesn’t go according to plan just makes more sense under those circumstances.

Speaking of the ending, I freaking love this dialogue:

«You missed all the fireworks, Cassie,» Marco said, swimming circles around us. «One minute we’re watching this whale the size of a FedEx truck dropping out of the sky and we’re thinking, Uh-oh, she’s not big,enough to take down that helicopter and live through it—»

«You weren’t thinking it, you were screaming it,» Rachel said sweetly.

«Screeching like a bad set of brakes,» Jake teased.

«Emitting a loud and continual series of high- pitched shrieks similar to an unauthorized entry into a Dome ship air lock,» Ax added.

Silence.

«Well, it was an accurate comparison,» Ax said defensively.

It’s just so them. We need a moment of lightness after the tension of the rest of the book, and the characterization is spot-on, especially because we can feel the giddiness of their relief that the helicopter is destroyed and they’re not all gonna die.

If this book had found a different way to get there, the idea of having a nonhuman morpher explore the experience of humanity might actually be pretty interesting. Science fiction has been all about exploring the boundary conditions of what it means to be human pretty much since Day One, and this series embraces that concept in spades with characters like Elfangor, Tobias, Aftran, Menderash, Toby, and Ax. However, the buffahuman never does anything interesting or useful while it’s there on screen, and its very existence is rendered idiotic by the nature of its creation, so this book doesn’t exactly capture the same degree of uncomfortable meditation on human nature vs. human culture that, say, The Experiment does.

The Bad

The Andalite’s Gift called, and it wants its plot back.

Seriously, though, this exact same premise—the yeerks can detect morphing energy, and the only way the kids can keep from getting caught is through an elaborate game of keep-away—has already been explored, and better, in an earlier book.

It would also make a fair amount of sense for the yeerks to make a second attempt at using a veleek, or a second pass at destroying the local forest, or to reuse any of their plans from earlier books. Instead we get them arriving at a similar place through using Helmacron tech, which would fit better if there were any hints at all in #24 or #42 that the yeerks had access to Helmacron tech. Which there aren’t.

Not only does this book present approximately the same conflict as MM1, but it also offers the exact same resolution: drop whale-Cassie on one’s problems. Couldn’t the ghost come up with anything better than that?

«You had an aunt who tried to kill you with her pincers?» Rachel said, giving me a playful nudge. «Boy, and I thought Tobias’s family was bad.»

IS IT PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE TO CRINGE SO HARD THAT YOU COLLAPSE INTO A BLACK HOLE OF SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT FOR THE WRITER? Seriously, what even is this line? Why would Rachel even think that Cassie’s aunt would be hiding out in the woods in the first place? Would she SERIOUSLY make a comment like that about Tobias’s abusive relatives? Doesn’t Rachel already know Cassie’s family well enough to make the question “which aunt” (assuming charitably that Rachel actually wants to know) the more logical one? For that matter, wouldn’t “are you okay” be a better fricking question to ask your best friend who just survived a near-death experience?

Why does Cassie consider the buffalo “human” if it has morphed one?

Rachel makes a really straightforward argument—that the buffalo is no more a human than she is a grizzly bear—and that should basically be the end of the discussion. Jake makes the really straightforward argument on top of that that the buffalo could get them all killed/captured if the yeerks decide to infest it, and again that should be the end of the discussion. Cassie doesn’t balk at predators killing seals to stay alive (#25), and she understands that sometimes you have to let a deer die to save a human (#9), so it makes no sense whatsoever that she is that obsessed with saving a creature which has the means to kill them all.

Also, Cassie doesn’t consider her ant-copy “human” like 15 pages later when she stomps it to death, and she doesn’t consider herself a wolf-human hybrid, so WHY does she keep insisting that the buffalo is a person? It’s just idiotically unCassieish.

Also also: no offense Cassie, but this book ends with you killing at least two or three humans who are inside that helicopter. When you factor in the yeerks, that is four to six murders at minimum and possibly as many as fifteen to twenty depending on the size of the chopper. What makes buffaChapman more worthy of life than those people are?

Three words: deus ex seagull.

Tobias’s brief explanation about the sheer gross horror of birds sucked into jet engines is not sufficient setup to justify a seagull happening to meet an untimely end AT THE EXACT MILLISECOND it needed to do so in order to stop Cassie from getting food-processed, Marco and Tobias from getting eaten by sharks, and the others from getting squashed or shot to death.

I’m actually a fan of the Animorphs getting accidentally assisted by real animals, since it fits well with the theme of the books, but the animals’ existence has got to be justified somehow by the plot. In #27 the presence of the random-ass whale whose DNA lets them morph squids is justified by Crayak’s meddling, in #4 the random-ass whale who saves their butts from Visser Three is explained by their own desire to save it from sharks, in #36 the random-ass whales who try to help them out only to get shot by the Sea Blade are attracted by the calls of other pod members, my god I am only just realizing how many random-ass whales there are in this series… Anywhoo, the presence of the plot-saving seagull is not remotely explained by anything that happens at any point earlier in the book. Couldn’t the author(s) have left out one of the 70-odd scenes with the buffalo sadly wandering around and thrown in some kind of setup for this ending instead?

The Ugly

That’s not how the morphing cube works.

In #1, Jake picks up the morphing cube inside Elfangor’s ship and only mentions that it feels “heavy;” he doesn’t mention the “tingle” that other people also describe when acquiring the ability to morph until he’s touching it at the same time as Elfangor.

The rule about needing to have one morpher touch the cube in order to “pass on” the morphing appears to hold true throughout the rest of the series. David carries the cube around for a while but again doesn’t get the zap of morphing energy until he touches it at the same time as Ax (#20). Tom doesn’t appear to be able to morph until after the battle in the hospital garage, given that the yeerk makes no attempt to acquire or use any of the oodles of hork-bajir or taxxon DNA lying around even when injured; presumably the yeerks later passed the ability from Alloran to him (#50). The narration’s a little ambiguous as to whether Tobias is touching the cube at the same time as Loren when she gains the ability (#49), but Cassie or Rachel definitely has to be holding the cube for any of the Auximorphs to get it (#50).

Point being, Cassie is definitely not touching the cube at the time when the buffalo brushes against it, and probably not when the ant crawls on top of it.

That’s not how acquiring DNA works.

If all it took was brushing against someone to pick up their DNA, then all the Animorphs would be able to morph their parents, their friends, various taxxons and hork-bajir, family pets, stray cats, head lice, baby goats from the petting zoo, skin mites, the school nurse… etcetera. For that matter, Ax and Tobias would also be able to morph Alloran by now, which is the kind of incredibly useful morph that I’m pretty sure the series would have mentioned if one of them had.

The series mentions 700-odd times that acquiring DNA requires deliberate concentration on the part of the morpher. Why would any self-respecting buffalo in a dominance-fueled rage be thinking “man, I should really try and shapeshift into that human over there”?

That’s not how morphing works.

Morphing requires concentration. Jake first describes the process as “So I have to, like, meditate on becoming a dog” (#1), and any time the kids’ focus is interrupted, they’re unable to continue morphing. The most interesting example of that is when Marco can’t morph normally at all because he’s so freaked out over his dad remarrying (#35) but the series mentions time and again that anything from pain to sudden noises can interrupt the process enough to sabotage it. We’re supposed to believe that a buffalo was capable of directing sustained attention to an abstract task in order to morph, when no mammals other than humans have shown signs of this ability?

More importantly, morphing requires focusing on a mental image of oneself as the desired animal. When first explaining it to Jake, Tobias says the key is “forming this mental picture of [the animal], right? I thought about becoming it" (#1). When talking Marco down from nearly being stuck in morph, Cassie says “Focus on the picture of yourself. Form the picture in your mind. Let go of the fear and focus on the picture of your own body” (#21). WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THAT AN ANT CONSCIOUSLY CHOSE TO PICTURE ITSELF AS A CASSIE?

Morphing also doesn’t happen accidentally. The only times we ever see involuntary morphing are when Rachel has allergies (#12) and when Ax has brain-appendicitis (#29). So unless that one buffalo and that one ant both happened to be suffering from illnesses that led to hallucinations, this plot makes no sense.

That’s not how ants work.

The narration of the very scene in which the ant morphs Cassie describes all the ways that it would be pretty much impossible for an ant to imagine itself—and only one self—as a human being. If an ant cannot wrap its little hive-insect mind around the idea of an independent consciousness, then it also should not be able to wrap that mind around the idea of only changing the one body it happens to possess into something different like a human.

Luckily for that one ant, it’s apparently an estreen, since it chooses to demorph just its pincers while keeping an otherwise human body. Yes, ladies and gentlebeasts: THE ANT IS AN ESTREEN. Why. Just… why.

Don’t get me wrong; I think that there are justifiable reasons to stretch or even break the rules of one’s own applied phlebotinum, provided that the resultant plot is cool enough or character-advancing enough or mind-blowing enough to be worth it. This mess? Is not worth all the rule-breaking that goes on. It’s not the most Deeply Unfortunate Animorphs book, nor is it my personal least favorite, but it’s also not good enough to justify its existence built on a tower of plot holes and logic failures.

#the hidden #39 #mama nature #buffahuman #the one where everyone saw their vice principal's penis #and once again the day is saved by a FUCKING SEAGULL #animorphs reviews #long post #asks #answers #dysphere

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vanilla-blessing · 8 years ago

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qb’s Mid-Season Reviews (Spring 2017)

Now that we’re at the halfway point for the season, I wrote some blurbs on my favorite and least favorite shows from the Spring 2017 season that I’ve watched so far. They’re loosely ranked by how much I’d recommend each anime, and go over the apparent strengths and weaknesses of each one. My favorites are the mostly the same as I speculated from the start of the season, but some of them didn’t turn out so great. These are what I’d say are easy recommendations:

Alice & Zoroku

weaknesses - Alice & Zoroku has a tendency to be slightly maudlin, prone to a few tonal swings, and its necessary double-length first episode can be an obstacle. Additionally, it’s on the darker side of magical girls, and although it isn't defined by violence, it doesn't hold back in portrayals of cruelty, even when it probably should.

strengths - It pulls off a Nanoha-style combination of sci-fi and magical girls, and successfully balances high emotional peaks. Sana discovering the world and integrating into Zoroku's family in turn raises the stakes for the magical battles which threaten her new family. Zoroku the grumpy florist is a straight-up boss, and his role in the story as a grounded role model is both innovative and a perfect fit for this style of magical girl anime.

Grimoire of Zero

weaknesses - Grimoire of Zero is a pretty conventional high fantasy on the surface, and if there’s one major flaw it’s how the magical action scenes tend to read like a novel, with lots of flashy lights and words but not much actually happening.

strengths - It handles an incredibly precarious fantasy world filled with dangerously heavy topics like witch burning, slavery, complex magical rulesets, mass murder, sanctioned killings, and political tensions with aplomb in a remarkably natural way. It also has character relationships that are just as natural and incredibly endearing that serve to balance learning about the brutality of the fantasy world, but manages to never feel out of place. Although Grimoire of Zero is certainly conventional, its incredible tact with extreme topics and naturalistic writing are rare qualities for the genre anime fans are probably the most tired of.

Tsuki ga Kirei

weaknesses - It’s a very conventional school life heterosexual romance, and although it’s a modern take, it still has those limitations. It uses a lot of 3DCG for crowd shots that tends to stand out when you notice it, but that’s a rising trend that we’ll get more used to over time until we’ll hardly notice it at all. Maybe.

strengths - Tsuki ga Kirei is particularly strong at making conventional romance tropes interesting through a modern lens of smartphones in a way that keeps the show fresh and relevant. Contrasting to the crowd shots, it features extremely detailed and personal character animation where it counts, seemingly animated on the ones at times. It’s very good at what it does, plus the gag clips at the end of each episode about the side characters are really funny and good for relieving drama.

Seikaisuru Kado: The Right Answer

weaknesses - Kado uses an ambitious style of 3D/2D animation that’s kind of distracting, and it can’t seem to decide if it’s going for the tone of a slow-paced live action drama or a traditional anime style, and kind of mixes both. Plot-wise, its resolutions to world-changing problems are a bit too simple and notably Japan-centric.

strengths - Kado showcases a fascinatingly hard sci-fi and sociopolitical thriller without the mandatory robots or war you’d expect, and provides the kind of story that you would never normally see in anime. It’s designed to be way up the alley of theoretical physics nerds and succeeds at that with its gigantic space cube. Toei has touched on an interesting well with the themes of negotiation and dilemmas and has chosen an ambitious and unique style to explore them in.

CUBE

ORB

ORB FROM CUBE

Unfortunately, some of the shows I had early hopes for haven’t delivered, and some of them belong in the Poo Poo Garbage:

Atom: The Beginning

strengths - Atom (prequel to Mighty Atom aka Astro Boy) has an Amazingly animated OP sequence, straight up one of the best segments of animation I've seen all year. It also features intricately designed robots and creative mechanical movement that has been fun to watch.

weakness - The humans are very boring, static, and ugly, and are a majority of the show’s runtime. There’s a serious lack of enthusiasm with anything that involves things that aren’t robots and it sucks all the life out of the show, ironically.

Twin Angel BREAK

strengths - The magical girl transformations and OP look good, and it's funny in a broad sense that it was made and continues to exist.

weaknesses - There’s almost nothing notable about Twin Angel BREAK (Twin Angels BREAK) at all, its comedy consists of extremely obtuse jokes that don't work, and it’s even significantly less interesting than the adult-oriented slot machine version that has heavy fanservice because this one doesn't even have that appeal. It also loses the sole strength of the Twin Angel series by having laughably terrible fight choreography that rarely looks passable. I expected Twin Angel BREAK to be either amazing or entertainingly bad and it has done neither. Twin Angel BREAK has no weaknesses its good actually

Hinako Note

strengths - Hinako Note is generally pretty funny for a moe girls in a club show, and features endcards that reference famous movies and stories that are cute and good.

weaknesses - It does not stay funny, in fact the jokes run dry very quickly. There’s a distinct gap between portraying the same characters as hyper-sexualized and chibi multiple times in the same scene that is extremely disconcerting and inconsistent. On top of that, the fanservice that is there is horrendously inappropriate in all senses of the word, sexualizing characters that are FAR too young even for the nearly nonexistent standards of moe anime, and even when the girls aren’t disturbingly young it always feels really out of place every single time they go for it. This extends to some of the endcards, which are usually cute and clever but occasionally fetishistic and gross. I’ve never seen an anime’s tiny, insignificant problems fester into absolute dealbreakers as quickly as Hinako Note managed to.

Overall, this season seems to be as strong on average as any other season, but lacks the punch of the seasons we’ve had lately, with crazy projects like Flip Flappers, Yuri on Ice, Rakugo Shinjuu, Scum’s Wish, and even Kemono Friends. Kado seems to be ambitious, but possibly in the wrong direction, and everything else that’s good tends to build off of established conventions. We might have been spoiled with unconventionally successful anime from the last year, and it certainly doesn’t mean this season is bad, but it’s looking like the original anime of Spring 2017 will be overshadowed by the gamechangers we’ve enjoyed recently, and the concurrent sequels to anime everyone already knows are good.

-magical girl liker qb @queuebae

#qb #spring2017 #anime #vanillablessing #anime reviews

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shaylinweaver-blog1 · 5 years ago

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8 Tips To Taking Away Mats And Tangles From Your Dog

In this inspiring and joyous e book, New York Periods bestselling creator Geneen Roth introduces her remarkable twenty-pound cat, Mister Blanche, and her beloved father, Bernard, as she will take audience deep into the tale of how just about every finally taught her to love with no reservation and acknowledge that she could someday shed people whom she considered she couldn't stay devoid of.

Hybrid dog training sheffield have popped up for years when it comes to Poodle mixes. Examples consist of the Labradoodle (Labrador Retriever) and Goldendoodle (Golden Retriever). We've seen the LhasaPoo; the Schnoodle; The Yorkie-Poo; the Cockapoo; the Terri-Poo. The record of Poo mixes is rather substantial.

Of study course, as with most choices produced in daily life, there are trade-offs. Nighttime resolution could not be as obvious as with a flash camera. Photographs will be black and white and may possibly be blurred. If your target is to scout the area in which you plan to hunt and you don't want to acquire the probability of alarming deer prior to you get a shot off, or if you are just fascinated in surveying the Animals on your house, then an infrared scouting digital camera is in all probability the tool for you.

My Labrador Retriever utilized to dig a major hole for herself underneath a bush in our entrance yard to keep cool. Presently while so a lot of new homes don't have massive trees or bushes for animals to take shelter less than. Additionally generally avid gardeners don't like animals digging in their gardens. How do you keep your pet amazing and cozy in the hot days of summer time?

Before purchasing a Yorkie, find a dependable breeder. Study all you can about the breed. And make sure your respected breeder or on your own has the pet or dog vet checked to make positive it is healthier. Also, Do not get any pet except if it has had a bile acids test run prior to and right after eating and you have viewed the results of the exam. Liver Shunt is running rampant in numerous breeds of canines correct now and particularly in Yorkshire Terriers. Any accountable breeder will be far more than happy to have their veterinarian operate this really uncomplicated blood examination on their puppies. Breeders remember to start off tests your puppies just before you sell them. Even with the added expense of grooming and the further treatment they want the Yorkie can make a amazing pet and companion.

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oovitus · 6 years ago

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A fitness-focused New Year’s resolution that’s worth making. Plus 10 real-world ways to actually keep that resolution.

I’ve finally found a fitness-focused New Year’s resolution that’s worth making. And here it is, along with 10 client-proven ways to reach your own health and fitness goals this year.

++++

If you’re reading this, it means you survived the holidays.

It’s the most wonderful (crazy, stressful, awesome, magical) time of the year.

You know the drill: Kids and toys everywhere. In-law invasions. And get this: My 6-year-old daughter and I found reindeer tracks in the backyard on Christmas morning again this year, ha!

The Berardi Family with Santa and Mrs. Claus.

Amid all the craziness — in fact, because of the craziness — my wife and I decided to break tradition and actually make New Year’s Resolutions this year.

Ordinarily it’s not something we would do.

In fact, it’s not something we would ordinarily suggest you do either. Especially if your resolutions typically involve detoxes or juice cleanses, or chasing an unrealistic level of leanness.

Stats on New Year’s Resolutions — especially fitness ones — are abysmal. Packed gyms on January 2 are ghost towns on March 2.

I thought about this the other day while driving home from a family function (and while trying to keep Kid #1 from punching Kid #2).

At Precision Nutrition, we often use the phrase:

“Fitness in the context of a real human life…”

What does “real life” actually mean?

It means something like this:

All 4 kids are sick (at the same time), so you’re getting virtually no sleep…

Your mother-in-law is going through cancer treatment and you visit daily…

It’s Christmas/Thanksgiving/Passover/Diwali/Eid or the long weekend…

Because of the holiday, you’ve got a tight deadline at work…

When you’re stressed your lower back acts up…

And just as you’re about to head out for the blessed 30-minute workout you’ve been looking forward to all day, your dog drops a diarrhea poop on the living room carpet.

That, my friends, is fitness in the context of a real human life.

So, is it any wonder most fitness resolutions fail?

If you think about it, most health and fitness plans live outside the context of a real life:

“Here’s a 30-day detox diet to follow… and a new hardcore workout DVD…”

“Why not do a fitness competition in April… and a triathlon in August…”

“It’s time to go all-in… it’s the only way to win!”

Except that it’s not. Because all-or-nothing thinking rarely gets you all. It usually gets you nothing.

That diet plan, or workout DVD, or one-size-fits-all training program you pulled from Triathlon magazine was never built to accommodate sick kids or cancer treatment or your co-worker’s two-week vacation.

Yet when the insane idea that you have to do all things perfectly takes hold, it’s pretty hard to shake loose.

Sure, we can play make-believe. We can imagine a life where everything is peaceful, calm, and totally in our control all the time. But that’s a surefire recipe for failure.

Real human lives are messy and complicated. Real human lives are unpredictable.

When we learn to accept this, they can also be dynamic and exciting. They can push us to grow.

Therefore, this year’s resolution.

With 4 children, aging parents, active social lives, and thriving businesses — my wife and I really did make New Year’s Resolutions this year.

As we always do, we plan on continuing to prioritize our health, build strength and fitness, and maybe even maintain our abs.

But this year we’ll do it flexibly and honestly in the context of our real human lives.

Our children will be fevered, snotty, and barfy. Our time will be limited. And we’ll miss last call at the gym because of doggie poo.

Yet this year we’ll plan for all that in advance.

After we’ve cleaned up the poo, we might work out in that same living room. With no weights or machines, maybe we’ll jump around like maniacs so we can move our bodies while keeping an eye on the kids.

Or maybe we’ll be stuck eating nasty hospital food. If so, we’ll make the best choice we can within the spectrum of choices. And then do push-ups and air squats in the cafeteria, or walk laps around the cancer center.

And on those rare days we’re not dealing with emergencies?

Maybe we’ll soothe our control-freak souls with a luxurious, 2-hour, relaxed, well-rounded workout. Or a weekend of cooking healthy food to prep meals before a busy week. (Even though neither is actually required.)

It’s not easy. But at least we have a plan.

You know, all this got me thinking…

How are our clients doing it?

I run a nutrition and fitness coaching company, so when it comes to figuring out health and fitness in the context of real life, I’m sitting on a virtual pot of gold.

Clients go through our coaching program for a year, and with the help of our expert coaches, sort out just that: How to make their health and fitness goals a reality, even as the chaos of life continues.

So I decided to ask them which new strategies they’ve developed to make it all work — nutrition + snotty kids + work deadlines… all of it.

They responded with dozens of great tips for real-life healthy living. Here are some of the most common (and awesome) ones we heard.

1. Check in with yourself every morning.

“I start my day with reading my Precision Nutrition Coaching lesson. It’s essentially plugging into myself first thing every morning. By doing the program work when I wake up, I remind myself that when I am healthy and happy, I have more to give to the world.”

2. Eat protein at breakfast.

“I include protein at every breakfast. My favorite: breakfast meatballs. Turkey + shredded veggies (zucchini, carrot, celery and onion), quick oats, egg whites and spices made into balls and cooked in muffin trays in advance. Then I heat ‘em up in the morning.”

3. Bring a lunch you’re excited to eat.

“I bring a lunch that is a simple salad with (quality) lunch meat for protein. Adding little extras like seeds and nuts to my salad along with avocado makes it something I look forward to eating, instead of leftovers that I would rather leave behind when others are going out.”

4. Pre-prep dinners.

“PREP! This has been huge for me. I come home late and I’m often rushed to get food in me. Now I just take everything I’ve already cut up or cooked (in advance) and put it in a pan. It’s a much less ‘rush-y’ situation, which carries over into eating… so I’m eating slowly and not inhaling food right past my full point.

5. Eat at the table.

“In the past, I ate dinner in a rush, then ran off to the next activity (soccer, coaching, etc.). I have been making a conscious effort to sit down and slowly eat the meal, so I can actually remember tasting and enjoying it.”

6. Exercise whenever, wherever, and however possible.

“I never choose the closest parking spot. This way I can get in a little more walking. Also during the school day (I’m a teacher), I walk as much as possible around my classroom as students are working, and around the building.”

7. Aim for “a little better” instead of “perfect”.

“It’s not about being perfect. It’s about gradual and continuous improvement. I used to get really down on myself if I ate unhealthy or missed some workouts and felt like I had failed. Now I feel that I’ve put in some great work, and I can do even better tomorrow and next week.”

8. Get all sorts of support.

“I use a meal service for healthy meals, which are pre-portioned. I commute an hour each way to/from work and I work long hours as an attorney, so having the ingredients there with recipes has helped immensely.”

9. Find accountability.

“My coach consistently reaches out to me, and the PN lessons remind me to move daily and claim the day for myself. Doing those things before I head out to work keep me focused. It reminds me this is my life and my choices can be life-affirming in every moment.”

10. Show up again the next morning.

“Show up each day and do what you can on that day. Don’t jump ahead. This is not a race. It’s not a diet. It’s your life.”

What could your “real life resolution” look like?

My wife and I have no clue what life will bring us this coming year.

But we’re committed to doing the best we can, when we can, with whatever we’ve got. Day in and day out.

I hope you are too.

With the New Year around the corner, it’s an interesting time to make (or renew) your commitment to health and fitness.

Why not do that while considering the context of your own unique, interesting, and (no doubt) challenging life?

What to do next

1. Consider your health and fitness goals for this coming year.

What does a renewed commitment to health and fitness look for YOU — in the context of YOUR own unique, interesting and challenging life? How could you aim to make things “a little bit better” this year, instead of “perfect or nothing”?

2. Celebrate your accomplishments from the past year.

Even if there’s lots you want to change, think back and call out at least two or three things you did well this past year.

Give yourself a pat on the back for any and all signs of progress, no matter how small.

3. Plan for things to go wrong.

What challenges do you anticipate might interfere with the progress you want to make?

Think about those roadblocks now. Consider some adjustments and workarounds in advance.

Accepting the messy “real-life” stuff will be key to your success.

4. Start small.

What is one little thing you could do today to help you prepare for success this year?

Maybe it’s researching a healthy meal delivery service for busy weeks, downloading a relaxing meditation podcast, or booking a babysitter one evening a week.

Take one small action now, and you’ll already be on your way.

5. Take inspiration from PN clients.

Do any of the strategies above intrigue you? Pick one and give it a shot.

If you usually eat dinner on the go, try sitting down for a meal at the table. If you want accountability, find someone to check in with.

Remember, you don’t have to get it “perfect”. Not now, not ever.

All you have to do is make an effort, and keep showing up every day.

Want help overcoming your health and fitness barriers?

Most people know that regular movement, eating well, sleep, and stress management are important for looking and feeling better. Yet they need help applying that knowledge in the context of their busy, sometimes stressful lives.

Over the past 15 years, we’ve used the Precision Nutrition Coaching method to help over 100,000 clients lose fat, get stronger, and improve their health… for the long-term… no matter what challenges they’re dealing with.

It’s also why we work with health, fitness, and wellness professionals (through our Level 1 and Level 2 Certification programs) to teach them how to coach their own clients through the same challenges.

Interested in Precision Nutrition Coaching? Join the presale list; you’ll save up to 54% and secure a spot 24 hours early.

We’ll be opening up spots in our next Precision Nutrition Coaching on Wednesday, January 9th, 2019.

If you’re interested in coaching and want to find out more, I’d encourage you to join our presale list below. Being on the list gives you two special advantages.

You’ll pay less than everyone else. At Precision Nutrition we like to reward the most interested and motivated people because they always make the best clients. Join the presale list and you’ll save up to 54% off the general public price, which is the lowest price we’ve ever offered.

You’re more likely to get a spot. To give clients the personal care and attention they deserve, we only open up the program twice a year. Last time we opened registration, we sold out within minutes. By joining the presale list you’ll get the opportunity to register 24 hours before everyone else, increasing your chances of getting in.

If you’re ready to change your body, and your life, with help from the world’s best coaches, this is your chance.

[Note: If your health and fitness are already sorted out, but you’re interested in helping others, check out our Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification program].

The post A fitness-focused New Year’s resolution that’s worth making. Plus 10 real-world ways to actually keep that resolution. appeared first on Precision Nutrition.

A fitness-focused New Year’s resolution that’s worth making. Plus 10 real-world ways to actually keep that resolution. published first on

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adambstingus · 7 years ago

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The Science Behind Explosive Hangover Poops

Ah, the New Year. A time for resolutions, for self-betterment, for dumping out the old and bringing in the new. Unfortunately, if you celebrate New Year’s Eve with champagne and shots, chances are you may spend the first day of the new year on the toilet.

Scientists dont entirely understand what causes hangovers, but every over-imbiber knows its effects: puffy skin, headaches, nausea, the feeling when you drink water that you just straight-up guzzled acid. And any regular drinker knows the agony and the ecstasy of the hangover poo. It can feel like the only way to relief: the unfortunate, unavoidable end of any excruciating hangover. The morning after the WIRED holiday party—which started with cocktails at a classy bar and devolved, as is tradition, into late-night scream-singing with buckets of beers at a local karaoke joint—saw the shared office bathroom morph into a toxic warzone.

Next-day diarrhea isnt universal and, for some, alcohol actually causes constipation. But its common enough that it has some well-known, and rather unendearing, nicknamesbeer shits, day-after-drinking shits (DADS), rum bum, after-grog bog, and so on. Anyone whos dealt with it knows it can be rough.

But why does it happen?

To start, you have to understand how the body processes alcohol. Food breaks down in the mouth and stomach before nutrients are absorbed into the bloodstream through the small intestine. Alcohol, on the other hand, bypasses some of that system, splashing down into the stomach, which absorbs about 20 percent of alcohol. The rest moves to the small intestine, which absorbs the remaining booze and sends it along to the liver to metabolize. While your liver processes the equivalent of about one drink per hour, the rest of the alcohol circulates throughout your blood system.

Alcohol affects every organ in the human body through the blood stream, including the brain. That’s part of why, when you drink heavily, you stumble around and slur your speech. And particularly relevant to this discussion, alcohol depresses the secretion of anti-diuretic hormone in the posterior pituitary gland. Also known as vasopressin, it helps your kidneys balance the amount of water in your body. Now, because your body cant hold on to water as it normally would, you start to expel what you don’t absorb—and you find yourself scrolling through Instagram while waiting in the bathroom line to pee. (Once the body catches up, it starts retaining water, which is why you may wake up bloated and puffy.)

Diarrhea is a common side effect of diuretics, sure, but alcohol also inhibits the absorption of liquids in your bowels. Studies of alcoholics show that chronic alcohol consumption affects the sections of the intestine that absorb water and sodium, decreases the activity of the enzymes that break down sugars, and make the mucosa more permeable. All of which leads to—you guessed it—diarrhea.

Plus, when youve been pounding boozy beverages—and, hopefully, some water—your body has to process much more liquid than usual. And all the while, the rest of your GI tract is getting wrecked, too. Booze affects the muscles surrounding your stomach and intestine, particularly those that hold on to food for digestion. It also reduces contractions in the rectum, which might “reduce the transit time—and, thus compaction” of the food in your large intestine which, again, can cause diarrhea.

This doesnt even take into account the indigestion-causing, late-night cheese fries you scarfed down or the mixers you had with your booze. And, depending on the person, artificial sweeteners (see: Diet Coke and rum), gluten (beer), and tannins (red wine) can all cause loose stool.

The best way to avoid a hangover and the dreaded DADS is to eat a balanced meal before imbibing, stay hydrated, and generally take it easy on the booze. But, if you prefer to live on the wild side, be prepared to ride it out the next day in the bathroom. And maybe think about stocking up on Imodium on your way to the party.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/the-science-behind-explosive-hangover-poops/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/175069559232

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year3ba3acollaborative-blog · 7 years ago

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Presentation Preparation

Above is our final presentation. We decided to go with the beat board and we added some reference photo’s of Emily’s trip. The beats are establishing shot, guy throwing food, food lands on her, she throws food back, it lands on a third person by mistake, food fight, food lands on cake as the dad comes out from the back, he tries the food and they all come together to celebrate.

This is the feedback we received from Kris before the presentation: It’s playful, think of details as in every slide should flow together by maybe having the same font. The intro reminded him The Simpsons intro, just with the clouds.

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Feedback from Helen and Ben on the presentation

The close up shots of the slow mo food reminded them of an M&S advert. Narrow down elements as we have made it at times confusing, really focus on the writing and the conflict between the stalls. Ben suggested that the star of the show are the relationships between the people, while the food and cultures add to the plot something more. The climax point of the story is whether the dad is going to be mad or or whatever reaction once food lands on his perfectly crafter cake. The resolution is that he is happy in the end. He said that we can remove the third boy from the plot as he doesn’t add to it either. It’s about the people coming together and the pigeon can add a comical factor to the plot. Maybe the pigeon poos on him an he gets mad and throws the food and she misreads the situation? On top of that if we add a line such as “Look after the stool son” it will add tension for the viewer when the food fight starts. We need to establish the relationship of at least one of the families so audience understands. Title ideas such as “Noodles vs spaghetti”.

All we did basically was complicate it a bit so just simplify! Colour and shape will help with differentiating the cultures.

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finellasfilms · 8 years ago

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Disappointingly BAD Moms

Recently my resentment towards the action genre has rocketed. Why, on screen, is the ratio of super hero to normal human being 890:1? Yes, congratulations moviemakers CGI is very cool and no, witnessing the epic save of a near-ending-world never gets tedious! The predictable police are always stunned whenever you throw that curve ball into the mix.

Sorry, I’ll take my self-righteous cap off for a moment. I recognise these relentless explosions with names aren’t necessarily bad films, but they’re churned out to the nines; my Finella senses tingle and predict that upon my funeral, local cinemas will be showing ‘X-Men 90 - Wolverine’s baby years’! Humph, it all wears me down to an irritable carcass.

It is only during the fleeting Oscar season a wave of dramas pleasantly splashes us. And comedies are so sparse rumour has it cinemas are hiring prompters to hold ‘laugh’ placards because audiences have forgotten how to. Is 'insert stupid drunken slow-mo montage here’ the core of most 'comic’ scripts these days? I’m begrudgingly beginning to believe so. The sheer genius that was 'The Hangover’ seems to have kick-started a trend of these stylised scenes. However, it’s a rarity the quality of film supporting the tedious mash ups match the poignant originality of Todd Philips’ modern classic.

Exhibit A: 'Bad Moms’. Despite a refreshingly clever premise, the film disappointingly reduces itself to an empty, unjustified abundance of the above. Unlike with their iconic characters Alan, Stu and Phil, writing duo Moore and Lucas fail to supply Amy (Kunis) and her possy with any decent dialogue. Come on guys, my hopes were high for this nearly all-female cast! From amongst the depressing pit of 8 hour car chases alluded to earlier, this potential gem glimmered with hope, earning pole position for my interest. It seemed the acclaimed actresses had an opportunity to convey the rarely portrayed pressures of motherhood with the aid of sparky humour and edge.

As 'Bridesmaids’ evidenced, meaningful, female-dominated stories can exist; and (shock, horror) the conflict doesn’t have to revolve around men! However, this blockbuster unfortunately stands light-years away from the profundity I was anticipating.

After around twenty minutes of desperately trying to enjoy myself, I descended into a knot of peevishness. “Boo! Sssst! These people aren’t real!” *shakes fist belligerently* When characters frequently breach the barrier of truthfulness, remaining invested in a plot really does become challenging. Kathryn Hahn’s ‘Carla’ merely amounts to a series of daft one-liners and Walton’s ‘Mike’ is a so distastefully rude and lazy, it’s almost insulting to Kunis’ ‘Amy’ to pair the two together. There’s no indication to what she sees/saw in him at all, no small glint of connection or past. He’s presented as a crass, unemployed man-child with no evident care for his children or wife; staying with this moron has us almost losing respect for her from the get-up.

Of course, the ‘idiot boyfriend’ can be a realistic ordeal. In fact, they’re a device often utilised to compliment the protagonists. For example, Bradley Cooper’s hilariously vile 'Sack’ (‘The Wedding Crashers’), earns brownie points for the contrastingly gentle John (Owen Wilson). Initially, only the audience behold the full extent of the formers abhorrent nature. We bear witness to his manipulative schemes in full swing, thus understand how fiancée Claire (Mcadams) could be fooled, even intimidated by his falsely affectionate exterior. Subsequently, the audience are able to identify with this leading lady. It is this crucial element which 'Bad Moms’ significantly lacks.

Amy begs sympathy from the watcher, but unfortunately receives the minimum. For instance, her hectic 'morning mum routine’ amalgamation has all the right ingredients for a universal comment on parenting, but somehow falls flat. Perhaps it’s the patronising ask of the watcher to believe she has given birth to children who bear more resemblance to my left toe. Or is it her ability to survive a steaming coffee violently erupting in her face (the pity-party’s climax), looking Vogue-level immaculate? If only she’d suffered third-degree burns, then I’d be satisfied! I jest…but come on, give the audience some credit; if the characters worlds are totally unbelievable, how are we expected to care about them?

Applegate’s and Bell’s performances manage to save the film from being completely intolerable, yet their characters final 'resolutions’ are nothing short of questionable. Post PTA finale, within the comfort of her crisp 4x4, Gwendolyn (Applegate) breaks down as Amy hovers awkwardly at the window. Poor ol’ Gwen tearfully (and quite randomly) divulges a rather bleak home life - the evident root of her spiteful behaviour…Our tale begins to take a turn as 'villain mom’ becomes worthy of sympathy. However, our heroine oddly doesn’t offer any TLC. In return for this heartfelt confession she merely helps Gwen reverse her Range-Rover back into the doom she’d just described. This rushed excuse for character development proves morally blurred and dissatisfying, and again we can’t help feel detached from the increasingly one-dimensional Amy. But hey, there’s cheap, pop music scoring to assist the scene change!

Meanwhile Kiki (Bell) 'triumphs’ her marital issues by treating her husband like a misbehaved dog. Her final shots present her strutting down the street, head high, sipping on her iced mocha poo poo. Naughty husband however, can be seen clambering behind, desperately juggling a giant heap of bags. Kiki’s companions fail to recognise the gross inequality and grin victoriously from a distance - applauding this warped image of feminism. Happily ever after? Well at least they think so…

However, to all this doom and gloom, there is a silver lining…they are making a Bad Moms 2! *the crowd roars* I will be first in line when buying a ticket to this bad boy; there’s nothing quite like strangling an already poor film to death, with a sequel. If you want your dose of the three F’s (fulfilling feminine fun…just made that up), or just a good watch in general, chuck on Clueless or Pitch Perfect - not dis.

b:U�

#bad moms

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viralhottopics · 8 years ago

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The Science Behind Explosive Hangover Poops

But why does it happen?