#the real time grief + lack of communication + lack of seeing logan

[coveredinsun]

i love watching the behind the scenes bits because of the insight it gives you. the death scene was TWENTY EIGHT PAGES LONG in the script and boy did it feel like it. one of the producers mentioned how they “never wanted to take the cameras off the kids because then it’s kind of like.. letting them off the hook” and my writer brain found that supremely gratifying. the complete lack of ‘downtime’ from tom’s call to the press conference forced you to feel some of the tension the siblings did, and it did NOT give you a break because they didn’t get a break. it yanked you in unexpectedly and didn’t let you go for almost a full half hour. it was so masterful and i expect emmys all around <3

[missmvrder]

What Clayton was saying felt heavy and important. He was unravelling the whole relationship with Logan. Beatriz wasn't fooling herself into thinking this was confessions he had never made before, she knew what Jolene meant to him, or at least had made up some ideas of it from the little he talked about. The woman knew Clayton, knew his heart or so she thought. He was a good man, one who showed up for those who needed him. But the Rowland children never had a fair chance in her mind, not with the father they had. "If he's never been told, it might take a while for him to believe it. But that shouldn't stop anyone from telling him." Seeing how difficult it seemed to navigate their family ties only made Bea miss her sister even more. There were times when the woman wondered if it had been a mistake for her to come back, to chase her father's dream and leaving all the family she had behind. Her family understood, knew it would come one day, as she never stopped talking about it, even through the grief of loosing her parents. If anything, it only made her want this more. And it was that thought that chase away the doubts when she had any. It was lonely at times, although it was way less ever since her friendship with Clayton formed. "I wonder if Logan ever considered the weight you carried for being that first born and for not wanting to fulfill the expectations that were on you just because of that," the woman said sweetly and softly. In her eyes, the brothers' biggest problems was that they never truly considered what the other wanted and had to do to get it, their lack of communication.

Beatriz couldn't help but laugh gently at his words. "I've seen them around town, mostly bars, a few times. The way he looks at her when she isn't looking say everything about how he feels." And with him leaving, Beatriz couldn't help but feel for them, as heartbreak was the most obvious outcome. "I think it's more about not making it real," she said, trying to reassure Clayton. "If everyone knows about it, if it's official it makes it harder to break it off. Logan being here always had an expiration date." Yet, she could understand the blonde woman for still diving head first with him. The Rowland men had a certain charm that was hard to resist, or so she assumed, considering how she herself felt toward Clayton. "Seems like this town has been good for your siblings. Having them here, you bringing them here was a good thing." As she said the words, Bea couldn't help but wonder if Clayton would too find love, soon, and how their friendship would stand in it all. "What makes you think Nora doesn't already know," she said teasingly. "I'd love to stay but only if you let me help. I'm not going to let you do it all alone." It was hard to wonder if there was not something close to pity in his invitation, as Bea lived alone on her small land with a few animals. She talked to them and they answered, in their own way.

There is no denying that the Rowland family is the furthest thing from being perfect. They grew up in a dynamic of both cruelty and favouritism. Both sons had been raised to be hard working men. Yet Clayton didn't receive his with harsh like his younger brother had. The different treatment between the two definitely had been a good cause of strain between the two brothers , but didn't change the fact that they still loved one another. " Sometimes I believe that I could tell him until I was blue in the face , and he still wouldn't believe me. Somedays I believe he hates me because not only was I the first born , but the first born son. Meaning I was treated much better by our old man , simply because he thought I'd take over the family legacy. " A soft sigh falls from his mouth. His choice to turn down the offer may have been the first and only time his father had been disappointed in him and his choices he made. " I guarantee that he is going to undo every bit of confidence that I've helped build in Logan the moment he steps foot on that ranch. All I can do is hope that he is strong enough to push through it or have it in him to finally call him out on his bullshit. " Since moving there is no denying there has been a strain on the once strong relationship he held with the older male. However Clayton had a lot going on in his life since he left home. A divorce and co-parenting his daughter with the woman he thought was his life.

The male's full attention is on Beatriz the moment she confirms that his brother in fact has been seeing someone. " How do you know for sure that he is seeing someone? " Clay can't help but he curious , and shocked that he had missed the signs. Now thinking about it , it did make sense why he tended to always spend his weekends off the ranch. Part of him just assumed he needed a bit of time away from the bickering with Clayton and time away from the ranch. He hadn't thought it was because of a woman. " Maybe he thought I had too much on my plate than to be worrying about him being with someone or he doesn't trust me enough to be honest with me? " He finds himself sighing once again. " Even Celia is seeing someone. She asked if she could bring him to the party. " It had seemed like both of his siblings have found someone to make them happy. Than there was Clayton who hasn't been with someone since his wife. " You know Nora loves you , and she'd be happy to know she is your favourite. " Male offers fem a smile. " Once I figure it out some more I will let you know. You should stay for dinner tonight. We're having Nora's favourite and I'm sure she'd be even more thrilled to have you join us. "

[jerepars]

Back again lol. Even though the writing just hasn’t been the best this season, I’m not really that mad about the way they’ve portrayed Jeresa. Just looking at this logically, I feel that they gave us 5x02 as our Jeresa episode early on and there really was a lot of sweet moments. Now, inevitably we had to have angst in between. But it’s been constantly cemented that James is in love with Teresa, and strongly implied that she loves him too. They can’t just build that up and leave it unresolved. Plus, with TV shows in general, a couple being together early on in the series just leaves it open for unnecessary conflict and the ship just loses its intrigue. If they give us the Jeresa ending we’re hoping for then it makes sense to have not got them together any episode earlier than the final 2. And despite everything, I think the writers have been a hell of a lot better than others in keeping their ship alive and not causing a irredeemable issue between them. I probably shouldn’t defend them before seeing the next two episodes, but I am hopeful. All that being said, there most definitely should have been more scenes and dialogue between them. We should’ve had a Tony moment between them (I’m so mad about this, especially since the writers acted like it was such a pivotal part of the season and then only showed Pote’s ‘grief’). I’m very sorry for rambling, just wanted to hear your take.

Oh, yes hello, back again, I see. Your ask made me sigh because I think it opens me up to be honest and critical of this season’s writing, and that kind of opinion may not always be favored around here, and also because it requires a response of essay length. But I’ll do it for you, anon, I will. Okay. So you want my take on the portrayal of Jeresa in season 5. Here we go. After the jump:

Let me preempt this by saying the show isn’t too serious (try and tell me this is still a serious show after the kerfuffle that season 5 has been), so you shouldn’t take this too seriously either. I have an opinion but I’m just…me. I encourage everyone to stick to their guns about what they feel about QOTS; what you like about it, what you love about it, what gets you excited, what you think has been done well, what is worthy of praise, etc. etc. etc. I go in pretty hard on the show in the next several (LOL, yes, really) paragraphs. But I am in no way the ultimate authority on all things QOTS.

I don’t think Jeresa would have unnecessary conflict and I don’t think the good ship Jeresa would lose its intrigue. In lieu of conflict, we’ve gotten…*crickets* nothing. No conversations of real value, no meaningful exchange of ideas, no arguments, nothing. If anything, the conflict between Teresa and James that is necessary had been absent. In seasons 1-3, there were always disagreements between Teresa and James. There was never a point reached where it created too much conflict, or unnecessary conflict. It created tension, which is like the very essence of Jeresa, and it showed the dynamic they have that made so many of us fall hard for Jeresa as our ship, as our OTP. I don’t think making them a couple or having them together early on in the season would create unnecessary conflict. I think it could’ve created different conflict than what we’ve seen before, and wouldn’t that be a beautiful thing, to have seen them evolve and deal with each other in ways we haven’t seen before?

So, related to what I said about different conflict, as far as intrigue goes…I don’t think presenting Jeresa as a couple or in a relationship would ever make them flat or boring. When I think back to season 3, when we got Jeresa in 3x05 and 3x09, I wish we’d been offered the chance to see them succeed and see what happened with them if they tried. Like I said, it’d be a different kind of conflict, a different kind of challenge for them to face and have to face together. That sounds so opposite of lacking intrigue to me, anon. That’s a side of Jeresa I would have loved to see.

You’ve pointed out that, in general, on TV shows, getting a couple together too early usually means doom and gloom and failure for them. One of my favorite shows ever was Veronica Mars, the first two seasons especially. When the showrunner, Rob Thomas, has talked about the first kiss Logan and Veronica have, he refers to it as being earned. For QOTS, and for Jeresa, I really felt that when they shared their first kiss in 3x05. It took so much and they went through so much to get to that moment. It was earned. So, with that idea—of the earned kiss, of the earned get together, of the earned relationship—in mind, to me, there is no point in season 5 that would have been too early for Jeresa.

Talking about TV shows and how they usually go in general leads me to my next point: as a viewer, is that what I want and is that what I should expect, to be given more of what’s typical? Maybe the writers and critics and people much smarter than me will tell me it’s my fault, I’m the fool, for wanting to critically engage in media that’s not meant to be consumed that way. Maybe I’m just supposed to accept and enjoy and be happy with what I’m given. No one claimed this wasn’t going to be typical. So okay. It’s on me. It’s my bad. But here’s the thing. If I’m supposed to accept and enjoy and love this as it is…well, give me something to love. I’m not asking for a revolution or anything life-changing here, just something I can appreciate (and this season, in my opinion, has really lacked things that I can hold on to and appreciate). So as for typical TV…I’m not down with merely accepting that because things usually go a certain way, that’s how they always have to go.

Why do Jeresa have to fail if they got together earlier in the season? Why is it so out of the realm of possibility that they might succeed together? Are they so emotionally stunted, do they lack so much compassion and understanding of each other that it would be impossible for them to listen and move forward together? What if they could discuss their issues, tell each other how they feel, stop hiding, and try? Who says there wouldn’t be angst and tension between them as they try to work through their issues? What if they’re actually supposed to be together and it would make them stronger—individually and as a couple?

Now, forget everything I just said. LOL. Let’s say we have to go by TV in general and typical TV rules. Let’s assume if Jeresa got together early on, then we’d see them struggle and fall apart and break up. Fine. Okay.

Here’s how Jeresa could have played out after the first two episodes:

5x03 banging honeymoon phase, probably

5x04 arguments and frustration with each other as T embraces being the white queen

5x05 J finds out about T’s coke usage and has to walk away from the relationship because he can’t stand to be complicit and stand idly by while she destroys herself

5x06 classic Jeresa angst and tension

5x07 KG’s death leads to T’s breaking point and J is there to support her

5x08 honesty hour, where it’s made clear that these two mean so much to one another and they’re running out of time to let each other know that, so they tell each other

5x09 one last united mission + they hatch the plan to get out and be free + a farewell with the promise and intent to see each other in another life

5x10 reunion in another life

Are these all headcanons? Of course they’re headcanons. Of course I would never expect the show to go exactly how I thought it would or with my own ideas. My point is that if they would’ve gotten together early on and we’d been given a glimpse of what that would be like, even if they failed, it doesn’t mean it would’ve been impossible for them to ever find themselves together again before season’s end.

“There’s not enough time,” the writers said. “It’s an action packed season,” the writers said. Okay. Why? There was enough time to spend on backstory of minor insignificant characters. There was enough time to introduce characters, tell us a bit about them, only to see them dead by the end of the episode. There was enough time to focus on Kote’s story, over multiple episodes, with not just a baby plot but a kidnapping one as well. So why? Why was there no time for Jeresa? Forget about them getting together and kissing and sex. If that was what it was (and it was) they wanted us to not have, then fine. Some of my favorite Jeresa moments were in the first two seasons, when Jeresa getting together was very much not a thing, when tension was high. So if it was just the portrayal of them not being together, if we still got the scenes of tension and them having no choice but to communicate, that would be completely fine. Like I said, I know I’m never going to get exactly what I want, my headcanons are mine, so that’s okay. Oh. But…no. Oh no. There was not even enough time for Jeresa to have more than short, throwaway, blink-and-you’ll-miss it conversations? Well. It’s the writers’ decision. They wanted it that way.

“It’s a Teresa-centric season,” Dailyn claimed. Like I’ve said before, James is a big part of Teresa’s journey and story. If you’re going to have a Teresa-centric season, it’s hard to accomplish that without shedding more light on James and Jeresa. This isn’t a Teresa-centric season. This has become the Kote show. Teresa is the main character but her journey has been pushed aside, diminished, and downplayed in order to make way for Kote ultrasounds and Pote grunting and Kelly Anne thinking “positive” and hopeful that Marcel will come to a party at the safe house. Instead of getting conversations that would offer insight into Teresa’s relationships with those in her family, we got an extended deep dive into the most chemistry-lacking relationship we’ve ever seen on the show. Well. It’s the writers’ decision. They wanted it that way.

“It’s Queen of the South, not Jeresa of the South,” the writers will insist. If by that they mean it’s Kote of the South. Imagine for a second that it actually was a Teresa-centric season but they were adamant about keeping James in this minor capacity. Okay. It would still be different than it is now because we’d be in tune with Teresa. We would’ve gotten a glimpse into her thought process. Was this not, at some point, meant to be a story about a strong woman? I can even extend that question to Kelly Anne. Was this not, at some point, meant to be a story about strong women? Then why do we keep seeing them make asinine decisions? Why are their most extreme actions in reaction to what the men have done?

Moreover, if this show is about the people in the cartel, in Teresa’s inner circle, rather than just the Kote side plot becoming the main plot, there’s no way this is the James we would be getting. James, our beloved reluctant assassin…who we know nothing about. He can’t even get a backstory on a show on which he is supposedly one of the main characters. Five minutes—five seconds—couldn’t even be spared on James and how he came to be who he is, how he got where he is. But Isidro Navarro? By all means, I need to hear his life story. Who’s Isidro Navarro, you ask? Right. Exactly. Apparently we don’t deserve backstory and explanation and conversation and introspection from our protagonists. But a character who is there for ten minutes or less on a single episode and will never be heard from again in any significant manner? Of course he needs his screen time. Well. It’s the writers’ decision. They wanted it that way.

“This is not a romance show,” the makers of season 5 said. Honestly? Fuck that noise. Fuck that sentiment. Fuck that ignorance. When has Jeresa ever been about romance? Where do the people who make this show get off saying something like that as if we are so stupid we don’t know that? A romance story and a love story are not the same thing. Jeresa is love. God forbid Jeresa ever experience love within a successful relationship. God forbid Teresa and James ever become mature enough to use love as strength rather than weakness. But pile on all the Kote. Focus on them and emphasize how Teresa and James can barely even look at each other. Well. It’s the writers’ decision. They wanted it that way.

So now here we are, on the cusp of 5x09. We got a spoiler in the last promo trailer. We know, after 7 episodes since their last conversation that actually meant something, after the writers missed the mark and didn’t have Jeresa interact in a way that was significant and necessary over the course of the season, that there is at least one kiss. They might even have a conversation. They might even share more than one kiss that leads to more (but also, don’t be surprised if we get a mere few seconds of a kiss and nothing more before fade to black). This is going to make us so happy because finally, finally, they’re giving us what we wanted. And then what? What does it mean if those things are true? Is everything forgiven? Is the instant gratification of seeing our ship sail for a scene or two enough? Does it make up for the character assassination of the characters we love? If we somehow get the ending we want, or at least one close to it, is it even believable anymore? Is what has been broken all season so easily fixed?

Listen, I already know the counter argument. I’m going to be told I’m crazy, that Teresa has to be on her own, that it wouldn’t be interesting, that it would diminish the payoff for Teresa and Jeresa in the end. I get it. Typical TV rules, right? We have to go with what people know, what they’re used to. But what have we gotten, really, to preserve these ‘rules’ for TV in general? Teresa has been dumbed down and is now lacking a lot of the intuition and street smarts she had before. She makes bad decision after bad decision and she doesn’t see what’s coming. The actions she takes are in reaction to those bad decisions. James hates so much of what he’s been made to do but for some reason he keeps going along and carrying out Teresa’s orders; he’ll just stew over it quietly in a corner without saying anything. Teresa and James don’t talk to each other, at least not about anything important, and when they do talk, they give each other heart eyes but never scratch the surface—how could they when they talk for like 10 seconds at a time? So. Has this been a good portrayal of Jeresa? You tell me. If it’s fine with everyone else, then I guess it’s fine. I’m probably the wrong person to ask.

[amillioninprizes]

An entirely too long post on how to fix Veronica Mars

So, anyone who has followed this blog for any length of time knows: 1) What a massive Veronica Mars fan I was and 2) how distraught I’ve been over the most recent season that debuted on Hulu in July. I’ve been pretty angry about it since it dropped, but the first month after I was pretty occupied with real life stuff. Now that I’m more settled, I’ve found myself getting sadder and angrier over time with just how terrible S4 was and what an obvious fuck you to longtime fans it was. It feels dumb to be so upset over a tv show, but this show got me through a lot over the past 8 years, and I feel like it’s been taken away from me.

 It’s anyone’s guess as to whether there will be a new season. Ideally it would end here with maybe an alternate ending filmed to avoid alienating fans further. On the one hand, the botched release, overwhelmingly negative response, and silence from the creators after initial interviews don’t look good for renewal chances. On the other hand, Hulu doesn’t have a lot of streaming hits, it probably did relatively decent numbers, and there are rumors floating around that its pickup chances look good. On a personal level, I hate the idea that this is where the legacy of Veronica Mars ends, while at the same time being extremely wary of what the creators have planned. I think a big part of the disappointment with S4 was that the movie and books set up what could have been some really interesting storylines and situations, all of which RT and co. squandered for cheap drama and to apparently turn the show into an entirely new vehicle; additionally I had hope that S4 would be a chance to rectify some problems the show has long had, but again, S4 exacerbated them. At this point I don’t expect anyone higher up in the creative process or at Hulu to give a fuck about the fans or making the show better as long as they hit streaming targets, but here are some suggestions:

Fire Rob Thomas

 While he created the show, it’s become clear that not only has he lost touch with the audience and the original spirit of the character, he doesn’t seem too keen on putting much effort into writing the show (as I will discuss below). Then you have his clear misogyny: his views that women in relationships can’t be interesting, that what makes Veronica interesting as a character is her trauma and how much she can endure, and the fact that basically every female character in the history of the show has a history of sexual victimization. He thought that making the Mexican cartel hitmen “philosophical” was subverting expectations (which says a lot of what his expectations of Latinx characters are). Then this is the way he essentially exploited his long term fan base to earn a new season of the show, only to turn around and tell us that we don’t matter. From a business perspective alone keeping him doesn’t make sense; selling a streaming platform on your loyal fanbase and then proceeding to purposefully piss ~80% of them off would be pretty questionable to me as someone in charge. The sheer cruelty with which he treated not only the fans who have supported him for 15 years (I fucking used to liveblog iZombie y’all. iZombie!), as well as how he callously dismissed long time cast members in favor of celebrity guest stars should not be rewarded. He’s admitted in interviews that he would be ok with younger writers doing a reboot many years in the future; why not just let him have a producer credit and then hand the show over to someone who’s invested in making it good?

Put a woman in charge and diversify the writing staff

A big problem with a) Veronica’s characterization in S4 b) RT’s ideas about what makes female characters interesting c) the show’s long history of problematic treatment of sexual assault is that it comes from a man’s conception of the female experience. The Veronica showcased in S4 and that RT wants to write in the future is very much a male fantasy: hates marriage and children, traumatized, DTF, and is too cool for other women. RT stated in interviews that he wanted to show Veronica at a “crossroads” this season in a way he claimed had been shown for men but not women; many female viewers found this depiction to ring false (few women are spending their time fretting about how committing to marriage after five years in an established relationship will bar us from strange sex going forward). In addition to having RT at the helm, most of the show’s writing staff for the majority of its run has been white dudes, which doesn’t bode well for telling the story of a female PI in a diverse community in today’s political climate. Putting a woman in charge would hopefully help rectify these issues to make the character feel more true to life and put a damper on the misogynistic storytelling. The show has a natural candidate in RT’s second-in-command Diane Ruggiero-Wright (despite her problematic history, never forget #KeisterEggGate), who has admitted to not being able to watch the last episode. Jennifer Graham, who wrote both of the books, would also be a worthy addition to the writing staff; while the books had a mixed reception, most fans agree that she got Veronica’s character right. And with the show’s problematic historical treatment of minority characters, adding more POC writers going forward is also necessary.

Bring back Logan (alive)

You don’t have to be a LoVe shipper to recognize just how integral Logan has been since the inception of the show, not just as Veronica’s partner but as a character is his own right. Logan’s journey in many ways parallels Veronica’s, and shows a contrast in how different characters respond to similar trauma. The most critical plot line in the show’s history, the mystery of who killed Lilly Kane, simply doesn’t work without Logan’s importance to Veronica. RT and his defenders like to claim that Logan was holding her back from true growth, which is frankly bizarre as he is the only character to consistently challenge her, like when he tells her that she obviously isn’t happy this season. Additionally, Logan’s scenes this season were the lone highlight of what was otherwise a painful slog of a season. Of the people who have said they would watch a potential S5, a good portion are only interested because they believe that the ambiguity of the last 10 minutes of the season means he’s not really dead (despite what RT has said in interviews). Then there’s what Logan’s death does to Veronica’s character, effectively cutting off what would have been an interesting character arc and stagnating her forever. No matter how much they try to shove Leo the pedo creep and other milquetoast RT self-insert love interests on us, no one else can possible measure up to Logan’s level in terms of being able to match Veronica as a character, intellectually or as a result of shared history.

Plus, the fact that we haven’t had a Weevil/Logan interaction since S3 is a goddamn travesty and should be rectified immediately.

Bring back Veronica

As sad as I am about Logan’s death, for me the most upsetting aspect of S4 was the assassination of Veronica’s character. For many viewers (including myself), the character we saw Kristen Bell portray in S4 wasn’t Veronica Mars but a different character with the same name. Between her abusive behavior towards Logan, her general indifference to her father’s medical condition, her dismissal of Wallace, and her racism towards Latinx characters (using a kid’s lawyer to threaten deportation: not a good look!), she was lacking the marshmallow-y center that always balanced out the pricklier aspects of her character and made her compelling. This change in characterization was especially jarring given that she was not this way when we last saw her in the books, where she mused about having children and sent her half-brother Hunter to summer camp (side note, but does he even exist anymore?). Many of us who had grown up with Veronica were hoping to see her grow with us as a character; instead we got an extreme regression lower than we’ve ever seen her. It would be one thing if they were trying to depict a PTSD storyline, which would make sense given her background, but since her change in behavior is never addressed by the narrative, it just makes her look like a cruel asshole and makes it impossible to root for her. This is exacerbated by the fact that RT has made it clear he has no interest in portraying her inner life, as shown by his wanting to avoid showing her grief over Logan’s death because it would be a real downer compared to the entertaining but ultimately hollow banter and quips he wants to focus on. Veronica this season was also just plain dumb: you mean to tell me that the girl who nearly got killed by Aaron Echolls in her back seat wouldn’t think to check her backseat every time she gets in a car?  (And let’s not even start with RT’s bizarre assertion in an interview that she apparently votes Republican). Not helping matters was Kristen Bell’s performance, which felt very flat for me this season compared to S1-3 and the movie; I don’t know if this was due to personal limitations or a reflection of the bad writing. Writers of future installments and KB herself would be wise to revisit S1, the movie, and the books to figure out what makes sense for Veronica’s character, leading me to my next point:

Get reacquainted with canon, develop a show bible, and hire a continuity director

This show has long had a problem with dropped plots, timelines, and continuity issues. Shelly Pomroy’s party has two happened either in the summer, or the fall. Then we have the movie paradox: Veronica graduated high school in 2006, which means her 10 year reunion should have taken place in 2016. The movie was released in 2014 and the books seem to keep to 2014 dates. Then S4 states that Keith’s movie accident took place in 2013, and mysteriously ages Veronica up to 35 when she should be 32 in 2019. Logan mentions an Aunt Naomi in S4--why didn’t she take care of him after Aaron was arrested (and what happened to Trina)? How the hell is Leo working as an FBI agent when he presided over the disappearance of the Lilly/Aaron tapes? Veronica is shown to be tentatively forgiving of Weevil taking the settlement from the sheriff’s department in Mr. Kiss and Tell, but is then shown to be extremely angry towards him for it in S4. This is just a small selection of the inconsistencies within the show. Plus there is the problem of repeated plot lines: Veronica rejects Leo in favor of Logan in S1, then rejects Leo in favor of Logan in Mr. Kiss and Tell, only for her to...reject Leo in favor of Logan in S4 (and RT says he wants to leave the high school plots behind). This sloppiness doesn’t bode well for a series that is supposed to be about mysteries, which require tight plotting. It would behove TPTB going forward to once and for all determine a timeline of Veronica’s life, keep a detailed record of past plot and character points, and have at least one person on staff who thinks to remember this stuff (RT notoriously has only a “solid, not spectacular” memory of the show, no matter what Kareem Abdul-Jabbar says).

Make an effort (and do your fucking research) 

Moving on from continuity issues to more general problems with the laziness of RT’s writing. He has basically admitted that he doesn’t care much about facts or characterization when writing plots--he shoehorns details to fit the plot rather than have it evolve organically from the characters and prior canon. I know that when writing it’s often impossible to make every story detail 100% accurate, but the extent of RT’s sloppiness is alarming. This excellent Reddit thread details a lot of the problems with S4 in particular, but this has been a problem since S2. Did anyone ever understand exactly why the Fitzpatricks were invested in framing Logan for Felix’s death? In the movie, it makes no sense that if Cobb and co. wanted Carrie silenced, they would add the complication of framing Logan for her murder--given her history, it would have been a lot easier just to make it look like she had accidentally overdosed. Given his previous patterns of villain writing fans were able to guess the identity of the S4 bomber based on casting alone. The mysteries in both Mr. Kiss and Tell and S4 are both ripped from the headlines, which indicates that RT wants to turn VM into the next Law and Order. Meanwhile, he complained about how hard including Logan in the story in S4 was, while Logan arguably had the best lines and most interesting scenes this season--apparently when you put an effort into things, they work out! This laziness extends past storyline issues and into factual problems that detract from the quality of the plot. Longtime fandom pals are probably tired about hearing me go on and on about how there’s no way Aaron’s lawyers could have gotten Veronica’s medical records due to HIPAA laws. Logan’s career change from naval aviator to intelligence is highly unlikely (and unnecessary, given that they changed it only to fridge him at the end of the season). Meanwhile, I know fanfic writers who have spent hours on the phone with strangers in order to research what type of firearm would cause a specific type of bullet injury. It’s very puzzling to me that RT wants to take the show in the direction of being mystery-only when apart from that one time he is piss poor at writing mysteries and puts no effort into them. I shouldn’t have to tell television writers to, you know, do their job but this is what we’ve come to in 2019.

Know your audience

A majorly annoying thing about the promo for this season is how in every single interview Rob Thomas did he was always talking about how he wanted VM to be like other shows and movies: Fargo, True Detective, Game of Thrones, Chinatown (which is apparently the only noir movie he’s ever seen). The thing is, if I wanted to watch those shows, I would; I watched Veronica Mars specifically because I enjoyed its unique qualities, and I would say most fans agree. The general perception within the fandom is that with this season Rob Thomas seems to have been aiming to dump the old, majority female, CW fanbase in order to achieve what he perceives as a cooler prestigious male fanbase; the issue is, new people aren’t going to take up a show in its fourth season if they didn’t watch or didn’t like earlier seasons. Also, trying to write a prestigious show doesn’t make your show prestigious. Considering that based on anecdotal evidence most of the people who like S4 seem to be male, he may have succeeded in the first part of his aim. However, this majority female fanbase he was so willing to cast aside are the ones who have run fansites and rewatches during fallow times (i.e. between S3 and the movie and then between the books and S4), so drumming up interest among fans (and therefore streaming views) in the future may be a challenge. Plus, women are a better advertising demographic since they are more likely to be in charge of household purchasing decisions, so maintaining us as a fanbase makes business sense as well. He may have tricked enough people into watching S4 that S5 is given a go, but I wouldn’t be surprised if streams are weak beyond that. If the show is to succeed as a commercial endeavor, better to go with appealing to a known quantity than trying to make a generic show that very few people have expressed interest in watching.

Bring back the mystery of the week

This is a more minor thing I felt was missing from S4. I think after the criticism of S3 not having a season-long arc RT overcorrected in focusing on one mystery. However, the mystery of the week had the following benefits: 1) giving chances for the characters to interact and telling us more about them 2) helping to modulate the pace of the season-long arc. With better writing a season-long standalone mystery could maybe work, but in the case of S4 specifically the mystery was kind of dull and repetitive and could have stood to include a couple of diversions in the form of a smaller case here and there.

Re-evaluate the creators’ interpretation of the word “adult”

Much of the promo and reviews for this season noted the more “adult” content to be expected this season now that Veronica’s grown. Many fans hoped that meant seeing Veronica act like, you know, an adult with adult problems rather than a teenager less mature than the actual teenager she was. Unfortunately, the show’s interpretation of the word seems to be more in keeping with a television rating sense of the word--meaning sex, drugs, and gratuitous violence (But apparently not the word “fuck.”). Look, it was expected that as the show moved to a streaming service and given the overall dramatic scope that there would be an upgrade in some of this sort of content (and I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t looking forward to steamier LoVe moments, which were sorely overpromised), but the way it was included this season felt like RT and co. included this stuff just because they could and not to serve the storyline. For me, personally, the biggest example of this was Veronica’s drug use, which I know didn’t necessarily bother everyone. Given her history as the daughter of an alcoholic as well as someone who had been the victim of two roofie attacks, not to mention the fact that her character never seemed to be into partying, I found it very out of character (and book writer Jennifer Graham agrees). It felt like RT included this just bc they thought it would be funny to see Veronica on drugs without considering whether it made sense for her character. Also, were the beheadings strictly necessary? Plus there’s RT’s little temper tantrum over not being able to use curse words this season--they weren’t present in the original show, no one was going to miss them now, and the “cuss” thing was just annoying and reminiscent of The Good Place. 

Dealing with a parent who maybe has dementia--that’s an adult storyline. Too bad RT ended it with a dumb excuse about “mixing meds” (another factual error! Pharmacy software would have caught it!) rather than actually exploring what it would mean for Veronica to see her father in decline and take over the family business (and give Rico Colantoni the exit he appears to want). This is the kind of adult content I would hope to see in future seasons.

Adult is not a synonym for “unrelentingly bleak” either. The original show, while dark, always had an element of hope that was completely removed from S4 (no matter what KB might claim). And would it have killed the writers to show Veronica wearing disguises and going undercover like she used to? There was nothing fun about this season (and no, I don’t count the multiple partying scenes as fun, more like sad).

Kill your darlings

It’s cliche, but it’s true. Another issue the show has long had is the writers keeping around characters or inserting jokes and references for their own personal amusement rather than for the story. The most notable example of this is the continued presence of Dick, a highly problematic character considering he pushed Beaver into the room with Veronica the night of Shelly Pomroy’s party, among a whole host of other racist, sexist, and generally obnoxious actions over the years. But because Ryan Hansen is so widely beloved among the cast and crew, so he stays. Then there’s the matter of the infamous Keister egg in 3x08, which the writers and KB have all expressed love for, despite the fact that said Keister egg is an example of sexual assault--which, even if the victim is a douchey fraternity president, is never funny. 

Also the constant Big Lebowski references are tiring. Watch a new movie.

Improve Neptune’s gender ratio

Veronica Mars, despite having a female lead, has always been a male-dominated show; other than Veronica herself, the only consistent female character over the original show was Mac (and she didn’t even come back this season). This is unacceptable in 2019, for any show. The books introduced promising female characters in the form of Marcia Langdon and Petra Landros, but Marcia’s character was was watered down for S4 and Petra was nowhere to be found. Additionally, Veronica and Mac have always been written as “cool girls” who looked down on other women for their femininity, which isn’t a great message. Almost every other female character, even the innocuous Parker, is portrayed as somehow bad or incompetent. I would love nothing more than a season centered on the women of Neptune and their interactions with each other. While we’re at it, stop giving every woman on this show a background of sexual victimization.

Treat VM as an ensemble show, not a Kristen Bell vanity project 

A major complaint from Burnt Marshmallows and S4 defenders alike was how little time was given over to the original core cast this season. While Veronica may be the protagonist, a large part of how the show became so beloved was her relationships with the other characters. Yet RT has decided that going forward VM will be a KB solo project, with her traveling town to town quipping and sleeping with strangers. This seems strange, given Kristen’s recent interviews talking about how difficult it is to shoot VM and how she never wants to be first on a call sheet ever again, not to mention how she asked for less screen time all the way back in S2, which resulted in the Weevil-Logan storyline, which was way more interesting than Veronica’s storylines during the first half of that season. (The traveling detective thing also seems weird considering that KB is pretty insistent on shooting in LA to be near her family.) Additionally, if this is truly the last season of VM with all the original characters, then no one got a proper sendoff. 

I’m not sure how willing much of the cast will be to return for future iterations, given how uncomfortable many of them seemed during promo as well RT and KB’s treatment of them (insensitive at best, deliberately mean at worst) this season (shout out to Tina Majorino for recognizing what a shit show this was going to be), but bringing back all the original characters into the fold and giving them significant storylines would go a long way to mending fences with fans, improving the show from a character arc perspective, and would also give KB the break she apparently wants. 

Recourt the fanbase

What has VM always been renowned for above all else? It’s incredibly loyal fandom which not only got it renewed twice during its original run but also put up their own money to get the movie made--I know many people who donated when they really couldn’t afford to. RT basically owes the last 6 years of his career to VM fans--the success of the Kickstarter arguably got him the iZombie show running gig, and the fourth season likely wouldn’t have even happened if not for it. Thus, the blatant cruelty and disregard with which RT and KB have treated fans during the promotion of S4 has been incredibly insulting and hurtful; I still can’t fathom what in the world possessed RT to think that throwing away this 15-year relationship was a good idea. It’s not a good sign when the 2 fansites most active during the post-movie period (VMHQ and VM Confessions) cease operations in the wake of S4, and when at least 3 out of 8 board members of the oldest running fan group, Neptune Rising (who were dormant during the post-movie period but played a critical role during earlier fan campaigns and in the S4 promo) resign. A fandom this loyal that was betrayed will not stand idly by if the S5 RT wants to make goes ahead; given the number of tweets the official Hulu VM account has had to delete in the wake of S4 due to the overwhelmingly negative response as well as the controversy over editing out Logan from S4 promos, I imagine that S5 will be a PR nightmare. Even if future seasons are amazing the trust can probably never be fully repaired, but it would be helpful for RT (or fingers crossed, a new show runner) and KB (as star and EP) to go overboard in reaching out to fans and at least admitting they made a misstep with the entirety of S4. Back in the day, the old Mars Investigation fansite was invited to set to conduct interviews; maybe do that again. Also someone should get KB some sort of VM fandom-fluent media trainer because I don’t think she has conducted a single interview during her entire stint on the show that didn’t anger fans (it might help if she actually bothered to watch the show).

Map out an endgame

Look, this can’t go on forever. As long as RT keeps leaving every installment open ended with the hopes of maybe getting renewed again five years down the line, the story is going to keep running into the issues the movie and S4 faced with having to shoehorn the characters into nonsensical plot lines to reconcile those endings and deal with actor availability issues. Either plot another 2-3 seasons to wrap the show up with a satisfying conclusion, or map out a greater timeline of Veronica’s life with spots where a mini series or movie here and there could fit in.

[nightmareonfilmstreet]

[Review] THE OPEN HOUSE Is Just A Vacant Spot In The Neighborhood

Have you ever, like, noticed how weird open houses are? Apparently, I didn’t think they were, until The Open House hit Netflix on January 19th and I was able to see for myself what the horrid consequences of hosting one would be.

The Open House centers on Netflix original 13 Reasons Why and Don’t Breathe star Dylan Minnette and his mother, played by Piercey Dalton (The Orchard). The two find themselves in a hopeless situation following a family tragedy that leads them to move into a relative’s empty vacation house where they are “besieged by threatening forces”.

Being acquired by one of the top streaming services out there (that turns out horror gems like a mining valley), starring a currently very popular teen star, and entailing a simple ‘haunted house’ premise means The Open House would surely be good, right?

Wrong. Oh, so wrong.

Before I rip through this, because there is A LOT of ripping to do, my overall point here is that The Open House ultimately fails because it tries to be everything its not. What viewers need to know first and foremost about The Open House is that we, the horror community, have seen this before. Every part of this movie from the ‘stylish’ camera angles to the final ‘twist’ is taken from another, better film and artist.

It’s obvious in the film industry, that writers and directors draw influence from somewhere. That somewhere is almost always previously existing films ranging from actual plot to directing techniques. At this point almost all horror tropes have been covered or touched in some way, but it takes a special filmmaker to take a practical plot line, like a haunted house, and turn it on its head. Writer and director, Matt Angel (Ha/lf), is not that filmmaker. What he has done with his first opportunity to write and direct an official feature length horror film wind’s up mocking the talent and creative storytelling techniques used by those that have come before him.

The only positive and redeeming qualities The Open House has, that I would like to get out of the way, is the decent acting and the pretty intense score. Both, however, are quickly undermined by the forced ‘style’ Angel tries to cop from films ranging from Get Out to Funny Games. I admit I don’t know much about cinematography, but I know enough to sense a director’s certain style and I know when enough is enough. Each important shot in this film is different from the another, borrowing from well-recognized angles like James Wan’s panoramic scene movements to M. Night Shyamalan’s trademark perspective angles. Angel overuses distinct techniques almost as if to cover the spread of what’s popular in horror right now. False style and a narrative lacking any meaning and depth is not exactly what viewers want.

Basically, it feels as though he watched the most popular horror and genre films of the last ten years, put together some shallow and pretentious formula, thought ‘Easy, I could do that!’, and made this passionless, pointless Frankenstein of a movie to get himself out onto the scene.

I imagine him working on this was a lot like that scene in Scream 3 where Scott Foley’s director character rants about wanting to make a love story, but he has to make a horror movie first because the studio is making him to do it. You know what I’m talking about, right?

Okay, now that I’ve got that out of my system, I feel it’s necessary to go through the narrative, step-by-step in order to really justify why I feel this way toward a harmless, but wasteful, Netflix addition. No one likes negative reviews and, hopefully, no one likes to write them. I can find the good in most films from wide releases to the most obscure C-rated horror movie, but if I’m deeply disappointed I like to detail exactly why.

SPOILERS (which are only necessary to review a movie that is this bad)

Minnette’s character, Logan, and his mother, Naomi, are quickly hit with grief following the sudden traumatic and accidental death of Logan’s father (it’s incredibly similar to the opening sequence of Disturbia). We learn through many passive-aggressive comments made by Naomi throughout the movie that this has left her and her son in financial stress which we later learn was because of her husband ‘not caring’ enough to leave her and Logan well-off in the event of his untimely death. No insurance? Don’t middle-aged women typically murder their husbands to cash-out on their life insurance policies? Anyways…

Her nameless sister offers up a vacant vacation home that she and Logan can live in because she can’t afford the bills alone which Naomi takes her up on. The catch? They have to be out of the house whenever an open house is scheduled, which sounds to me like a much bigger hassle than finding a job on my own. We never hear from the sister character again, not because she gets caught up in some sinister situation or anything, but because of true carelessness on Angel’s part.

Logan and Naomi make their way up to the mountain mansion, nearly hitting a phantom figure out on the road in the dark (here I would cite all of the movies this scene is a ripoff of, but we don’t have that time). I won’t even do a review the disservice of ranting about jump scares. I feel, typically, it’s a staple tactic for a scary movie (how else can a general audience truly get scared without them?), so I am not drawing attention to the fact that it was a cheap thrill because The Open House has plenty of those, but that it was both important to the twist at the end and so unimportant at the same time.

  Deciding to stop at a gas station in town, we are introduced to two of the most useless character written for effect and for the sake of being red herrings: the old, loony, invasive neighbor who knows entirely too much about everyone, Martha, played by Patricia Bethune (Longmire, True Blood) and the odd, all too forward and friendly store clerk Chris, played by Sharif Atkins (White Collar). The entire scene, and really any other scene including Martha or Chris, is heavy with the feeling that something is off about them.

Martha mentions the death of her own husband and recognizes Naomi and Logan from pictures her neighbor, Naomi’s sister, showed her in one scene. In later scenes where she is randomly walking their lawn in the dead of night she does not recognize Logan, and later after that she drops in unannounced with banana bread and confusingly mentions that her husband is alive to Naomi. In one of her final scenes, Martha appears on the road Logan is running on (oh yeah, he’s a runner) and creepily insists on driving him home after he gets sick.

One minute Chris is just a sweet, possible love interest for Naomi much to Logan’s dismay, and the next he is awkwardly showing up at the house and requesting to see the inside. Just for the reader’s information, this house has no significance whatsoever other than the fact that it is big. There is no back story, no ghostly history, no one murdered Old Man Anderson with an axe in the basement, or anything like that, so I was very puzzled as to why this man would want to look around and why Naomi would let him. How this happens I don’t know, but Naomi loses track of Chris going in and out of the rooms and just assumes he’s left.

I only summarize these scenes because they have absolutely nothing to do with the plot whatsoever. They mimic the oddities of the characters seen in Jordan Peele’s Get Out and Shyamalan’s The Visit, but serve no purpose other than to lead viewers into thinking there is something there that there really, truly isn’t. I don’t think Matt Angel fully understands the way a red herrings is meant to be used in a film.

Halfway through this mess Logan begins to notice strange things happening around the house. Supernatural-type strange things. His cell phone, glasses, and cereal bowl appear and reappear. Doors open slowly within the frame (very similar to Paranormal Activity and that iconic scene in The Strangers). Naomi is plagued, and I mean plagued, with every woman’s worst nightmare while taking a shower: cold water.

The pilot light is blown out more times than I could even stand to keep track of. Each time this happens, towel-clad Naomi, goes down to the pitch black basement to relight it (each time a gimmick of Lily Taylor’s match-lighting scene in The Conjuring). Logan is, of course, equally plagued with memories of his father’s death and with vivid hallucinations of him in the basement.

On top of all of this they are shooed out of their house by a bossy real estate agent and her eager assistant twice for open house showings. Twice. Each time providing us with less than pivotal scenes involving Logan and his mother included just to move things along. Always looking for the twist before it comes, I was getting the feeling that possibly Logan and his mother were not really there themselves, maybe they were dead the way The Others perfectly tricks you? Maybe that has something to do with them having to be out of the house? Unfortunately, not even that was the case. The narrative of this story has all the makings, turns, and questions that eventually transpire into a huge twist at the end, but it is far from sophisticated enough to execute one.

Eventually the disappearance and reappearance of things in the house takes a toll on the relationship between mother and son. There is a pretty harsh explosion over the crumpling of a family photo where Naomi and Logan lash out at one another kind of out of nowhere. There is no development to either of these characters nor growth or lack thereof in their relationship so it’s more of a scene to roll your eyes over.

While watching this I found myself thinking that something has to be going on. There is going to be some revelation in the end to tie all of this weirdness together, that’s usually what happens with a divisive genre film, and it will all make sense. What the audience gets is the ‘twist’ mirroring that of Housebound and The Boy. Logan and his mother are finally met with the malevolent force in the third act. I’ve cut out a lot of details, again for the sake of time, because they have absolutely nothing to do with the development or ending whatsoever.

The cause of all the seemingly supernatural happenings? A faceless, nameless stranger has been living among them in the house slowly stalking and playing with the mother and son before deciding to end both of their lives. The entire finale of this movie is an absolute disaster resulting in huge flaws from the stranger knocking Logan out cold and dosing him in water causing him to freeze to the ground unable to move (and run!) to Naomi stumbling into the sharp end of Logan’s frigid, shaking knife-holding hand. With icicles literally brandishing his eyebrows, Logan escapes into the forest, but the stranger eventually catches up and strangles the life out of him. The stranger departs and the audience, if they haven’t stabbed themselves with their own knives yet, watch as he trucks off into the unknown past another open house sign.

Angel’s message throughout this wreck of a story is just simple: you never know who will come in and stay if you have public open house showings. This stranger is apparently an open house killer and the story we were fed just so happened to center on this mother and son going through a grievous (yet unimportant to the plot) time in their lives? I’m sorry, but the whole “Because you were home” reasoning behind The Strangers does not work here. The story tries so hard to match the incredibly powerful and dreadful ending of Funny Games, but it falls extremely flat and frozen. You’ll need to watch The Open House to get the full effect of that last joke.

Angel tried to incorporate too many parts into his Franken-movie and, unfortunately, all of the parts did not fit well together. It wound up being a mixture destructive only to itself. The dead father motif combined with the odd, very weird neighbor characters, mixed with the supernatural-happenings-actually-being-a-person-in-the-walls ending made for a very sloppy, depth-less, empty story. I find myself encouraging others to watch it just so that we can discuss all of the horrible things wrong with it.

The disappointed audience is left with questions, but not in a good way. As much as it wants to, this film is not the equivalent to that of modern ground-breaking genre films that leave their audiences with conversation bits and thoughts after they end, but instead it left us with the question we all hate asking ourselves once the credits roll: What the hell did I just watch?

The real irony here is that The Open House is indeed like a real open house: it’s vacant, and empty on the inside, the details are staged to make it look like something it’s not, it’s represented by a company name you recognize and trust, you feel optimistic going in, but wind up running out screaming because there is a deal-breaker looming beneath the surface. It’s not usually a psychotic, murderous squatter, but it happens. Huge dealbreaker.

    The post [Review] THE OPEN HOUSE Is Just A Vacant Spot In The Neighborhood appeared first on Nightmare on Film Street.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2Fi6OSA via IFTTT

[callmehawkeye]

Watched in 2017

Kids For Cash (2013): It’s easy to sit here as someone without a personal stake in this documentary’s focus, but, what I took away from it is the Luzerne County scandal contained nothing but very human individuals working out their own perspectives and self interests within justice and school systems set up to fail; or those holding office who don’t have proper insight. People fighting shades of grey with black and white theories. Children’s lives were disrupted during peak development years and even though their records were expunged, you can see the damage being impossible to reverse.

Capturing the Friedmans (2003): An introspection of a family in crisis; I believe in the 14 years since this documentary released there’s enough information available for armchair detectives to see through any biases this film presents and displays the depth trauma and denial can go.

The Jinx (2015): A miniseries focused on the life and crimes of Robert Durst where the man himself is interviewed and occasionally forgets he is wearing a hot mic.

Hannibal Buress: Comedy Camisado (2016): A great standup special that made me smile and cackle. Can’t wait to see more of Buress.

Other People (2016): Sure, it’s another cancer movie, but the family relationships and performances make this such a lovely film to watch.

Fences (2016): Play-turned-film about a family in the 1950s and the metaphorical fences they put up to keep each other safe but also to stop from connecting. Lots of great monologues put in by the cast.

Westworld (Season 1): Called all the big twists, but it’s still a great show with wonderful storytelling, scenery, and acting.

The Straight Story (1999): Best film I’ve seen by David Lynch. Poignant and moving.

Suicide Squad (2016): UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I’m not much of an original storyline purist, but if there’s a strong story handed to you ready-made on a silver platter -- why make it weaker? Why not attempt to understand the context at all?

American Honey (2016): Gorgeously shot, but I really found the story content to be a bit cliché and done before but better.

Vampire’s Kiss (1989): I don’t know so much about the comedic part of this labeled black comedy when it really comes off as a quite disturbing account of a lonely, mental ill man’s downward spiral. But fun, bizarre, and unique nonetheless. 

Pete’s Dragon (2016): Not the best kid and their dragon story. Not the worst. Not the best Disney remake. Not the worst. Eff gritty reboots. I want the kid to stay with their dragon.

Killer Legends (2014): Documentary uncovering the true stories behind urban legends; the man with a hook for a hand, the babysitter with a call coming from inside the house, poisoned Halloween candy, and a killer birthday party clown.

The Lego Batman Movie (2017): While I liked The Lego Movie, I was more about Batman and how he was voiced by Will Arnett. This movie is a cesspool for in-jokes and references and I was crying nearly the entire time with laughter.

Bridget Jones’s Baby (2016): Oh my god. Oh my god, why.

Tokyo Godfathers (2003): A moving story about three homeless individuals who discover an abandoned baby in the snow around Christmastime. Their search for the mother displays beautiful animation and storytelling.

John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017): I’m so happy the sleeper buzz of the first one got to me a few years ago. I’m so beyond thrilled with the product of this sequel that doesn’t lose its self-awareness and bite.

Train to Busan (2016): Best zombie movie I’ve seen in years and years.

Newsies Musical (2017): A lot of missteps and overacting; but still the lovely show I know and adore with flawless dancing.

Hidden Figures (2016): A film showcasing the overshadowed and overworked women of color NASA employees. Superb acting all the way.

Night of the Demons (1988): 100% ‘80s horrible, but I kind of loved it?

Michael Bolton's Big Sexy Valentine's Day Special (2017): I want to write individually, uniquely written thank-you cards to everyone who made this possible.

Get Out (2017): Gorgeously shot, acted, and written; full of detail, homages, symbolism, and foreshadowing. I’m obsessed. I’m so proud of Jordan Peele and cannot wait to see what he does next.

La La Land (2016): More like Blah Blah Land.

Moonlight (2016): A gorgeously shot character study of a young man’s dichotomy of black masculinity and homosexuality.

The Belko Experiment (2017): A clever and funny horrorfest of a desk jockey company locking its employees in and pitting them against one another for a battle to the death.

Logan (2017): THIS is the Wolverine we’ve wanted. My creyes. Thanks or all the years of dedication, Jackman.

A Monster Calls (2016): For such an imaginative story as a boy’s imagination assisting his grief, it’s rather dull and removed.

The Imposter (2012): A documentary of a French national faking the identity of a missing, and much younger, American boy.

Best in Show (2000): This is literally my life now.

Tangled: Before Ever After (2017): Such a cute continuation I’ve always wanted from one of my favorite Disney films. Sweet songs, characterizations, and animation.

Ordinary World (2016): Billie Joe Armstrong in his first starring role as a man hitting a midlife crisis. It’s been done. But there’s something particularly charming about its cast and execution.

Beauty and the Beast (2017): ...Eh. It’s pretty? Some of the additions are cute and thoughtful. But it feels like a shot for shot remake.

Christine (2016): A dramatization of the real life story of Christine Chubbuck, a news correspondent who committed suicide while live on-air.

Arrival (2016): Amy Adams was robbed from a nomination. In my opinion, this is her best work ever.

Beware the Slenderman (2016): HBO documentary covering the true crime of the Slenderman-inspired stabbing and the young girls who conspired together to commit it.

The Fits (2015): A young girl in Cincinnati observes others around her spiraling into epileptic-like episodes as she joins a dance team and undergoes many pre-teen milestones. 

The Queen of Katwe (2016): The true story of the chess world’s Woman Candidate Master Phiona Mutesi.

The Love Witch (2016): I love literally everything about this ridiculous movie? With its purposeful presentation acting and romantic aesthetic? 

Jackie (2016): Natalie Portman was spellbinding.

An American Wereolf in London (1981): Took me forever to watch, but reignited my love for werewolves.

Loving (2016): True story of interracial couple Mildred and Richard Loving who got married in the late 1950s.

The Edge of Seventeen (2016): I’ve lived this genre. I grew up with this genre. I devoured hundreds of films, television series, and novels about this genre. If it were the first I ever saw, maybe I’d have liked it better. It’s fine. Just not for me.

 The Founder (2016): What a wonderfully expensive and affective commercial for McDonald’s. Now put Michael Keaton in more movies!!

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016): I’m excited for the extensive look in Rowling’s universe. While hard to not compare to Harry Potter and lacking the groundwork of connection to a book series I grew up with since 11 years old, it certainly grew on me.

The Boxtrolls (2014): Late to the game on this one, but another fine film from the Laika company. I’m becoming a huge fan of theirs.

The Lost City of Z (2017): A refreshing movie to watch that’s driven by characters more than plot and with minimal CGI. Gorgeous acting. Gripping motivations and convictions. Beautiful scenery and set designs. Reminiscent of an old Hollywood epic.

Tickled (2016): Frustrating documentary about the online “competitive tickling” community and the shadiness of key players.

Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders (2016): I’d probably have enjoyed this more if I hadn’t watched the Lego Batman Movie first, but I got thorough amusement from the in-jokes and returning cast of talent.

Cat People (1942): Oh look, it’s the most I can hope for in my near future.

Mommy Dead and Dearest (2017): HBO documentary about Dee Dee and Gypsy Rose Blancharde.

Drag Becomes Him (2015): I fucking love Jinx Monsoon.

A Star is Born (1954): Judy at her best.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (Season 3): I wish this season was more focused, but it gave me some moments I’ll never forget.

Wonder Woman (2017): I already plan to go see this again and make it my theme for my 30th birthday this year. I love it that much.

The Girl on the Train (2016): Zzzzzzzzzzz

House of Cards (Season 5): You can always tell when a showrunner leaves. Robin Wright saved this show for me.

Bo Burnham: Make Happy (2016): I don’t know many comedians who can make me instantly switch from laughing to crying.

Papillon (1973): There’s something captivating about this film that you don’t see every day. True storytelling epic.

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? (1976): Sidney Poitier is charming, and the behind the scenes turmoil for Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy had me sobbing.

Who Took Johnny (2014): The true crime story of the abduction/disappearance of Johnny Gosch.

Master of None (Season 2): There was something so maddening about Dev this season. Well, not “something.” He fucked up a lot and was quite unlikable. The directing and international film homages were second best to Denise’s single background episode.

The Beguiled (2017): Quite beautiful, great acting. Typical Sofia Coppola and entertaining enough. Not necessary for me to view again.

Baby Driver (2017): This is a standout film for me this year. It made me incredibly happy and so proud of Edgar Wright.

Orange is the New Black (Season 5): Justice for Poussey.

Excalibur (1981): I hear this is both the best and definitive version of the King Arthur myth. But everything else is really bad, and this is acceptable. It has some strong elements and covered the largest span of the myth’s time.

The Old Man and the Sea (1958): The most simply shot and presented film I’ve ever seen. Spencer Tracy is an absolute dear.

HitREcord on TV (Season 1): Such a satisfying and inspiring series to watch.

Atomic Blonde (2017): A lot more spy noir than I expected, but the action I went in anticipating was thrilling and impressive in its choreography. Loved the aesthetic and loved the soundtrack even more.

HitREcord on TV (Season 2): It’s really motivating to watch people go through the creation process in this.

Adam’s Rib (1949): Such a silly story, but Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy’s dynamic is ev. er. y. thing!

BUtterfield 8 (1960): The behind the scenes story is much more compelling and interesting.

What a Way to Go! (1964): This is honestly the most perfect movie I’ve seen in years. There is nothing about it I didn’t love nor recommend.

Detroit (2017): Not exactly the best thing to watch after Charlottesville, but it is a story that needs to be heard and not forgotten. Nothing has changed.

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017): The runtime felt too long. But it’s still the best portrayal of Peter Parker so far. Such a refreshing Marvel movie to watch in the midst of my over-saturation outlook on their films. A smaller spec story was very-much needed.

T2 Trainspotting (2017): Most sequels made 20 years later aren’t anything to write home about. But man. This exceeded expectations.

Hurricane Bianca (2016): Just the kind of movie I want from a drag queen. Just the right amount of camp, message, humor, and fabulousness. 

Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later (2017): I don’t think there’s anything that makes me consistently laugh this hard.

Ma Vie de Courgette (2017): Stop-animation about the connection and imagination of orphaned children in a healthy home environment.

Brigsby Bear (2017): The most unexpectedly unique and heartfelt movie I’ve seen all year.

Smokey and the Bandit (1977): Oh, so that’s why people like this movie so much.

Shameless (Season 5): More Ian, please.

Cat Women of the Moon (1953): Masterpiece. Aesthetic. My future.

Last Action Hero (1993): I feel like I unwittingly wrote this exact story as a teenager. Loved it.

The Bodyguard (1992): I will always love Whitney.

Table 19 (2017): Legitimately charming.

Kingsmen: The Golden Circle (2017): Not as good as the first, but plenty of strong ideas that I enjoyed with a lovable cast.

mother! (2017): Fucking horrifying and sent me into an anxiety attack that lasted longer than a day -- ethereal and quite the theater-going experience.

Sunshine on Leith (2014): Proclaimers musical. Pretty by the numbers, but very eagerly genuine and sweet.

The Powder and the Glory (2007): PBS documentary about Elizabeth Arden and Helena Rubinstein. -- I’m Team Rubinstein, by the way.

It (2017): A great retelling of the original story with a strong and likable cast. I’m excited to see who they cast as the older counterparts in Part 2.

The Zookeeper’s Wife (2017): An interesting perspective of who is left behind during wartime. 

Sgt. Pepper’s Musical Revolution (2017): PBS documentary on my boys.

Fist Fight (2017): 90 minutes of line-o-rama comedy. But I love the lead actors.

Gilda (1946): My, my, my Hayworth. Finish him.

I Am Heath Ledger (2017): A retrospective of Ledger with interviews by those legitimately closest to him. Very touching and insightful.

Blade Runner 2049 (2017): The most visually stunning film I’ve seen in a long, long time.

Personal Shopper (2017): Kristen Stewart stars as a woman living in France, waiting for a sign of life from her deceased twin brother.

Gifted (2017): I’m here for Evans and Evans alone.

XX (2017): Four horror shorts directed by women, each uniquely shot and told.

The Promise (2016): The movie was sold short by a misdirection in advertising; it’s more -- and interestingly so -- about the Armenian genocide than just another wartime love triangle. Come on, guys. Polyamory. Polyamory is always the answer.

The Circle (2017): Unwatchable. The film itself doesn’t even know what it’s trying to say.

The Public Enemy (1931): Mostly watched this because of the closing of The Great Movie Ride, above all else.

Leverage (Season 1): Race to finish all 5 seasons before it’s taken off of Netflix. I love this team.

Leverage (Season 2): I have so many feelings about these characters and their relationships with each other.

Professor Marston and the Wonder Women (2017): Polyamory. I told you. The answer is always polyamory. And bondage.

Stranger Things (Season 2): I’m so happy this is finally here, and so mad I’m already finished.

Leverage (Season 3): I love the slow development and bonding the team has gone through.

Leverage (Season 4): The more ridiculous and implausible the mission, the more I love the episode.

Thor: Ragnarok (2017): I don’t care that it was “too funny.” It was exactly what I wanted out of a Marvel movie.

Leverage (Season 5): Well. It’s official. I’ve been Stockholm-syndromed by a show.

The Foreigner (2017): It was fine. It was another misleading trailer, so not what I was expecting. But it was fine.

The Thing (1982): Mmm mmm mmm ‘80s Kurt Russell in a solid John Carpenter thriller/horror.

To Have and Have Not (1944): Bogart and Bacall is goals.

Alien: Covenant (2017): Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017): This is actually a solid sequel I greatly enjoyed. It’s been a few years since I’ve enjoyed a Marvel movie, and now I have two!

The Librarians (Season 1): Okay, this is a good Leverage replacement.

The Librarians (Season 2): This show is super endearing and I’m pleased it exists.

Aileen Wuornos: The Selling of a Serial Killer (1992): Going to the My Favorite Murder live show encouraged me to finally watch this.

Aileen: Life and Death of a Serial Killer (2003): An update and deeper delve into Wuornos. Super upsetting to watch her mental deterioration unfold onscreen. 

The Librarians (Season 3): All caught-up for season 4 in December!!

Sleight (2016): I had a difficult time watching this movie. There was something about the sound-mixing that triggered some anxiety and auditory stress. But I liked what I could see of it.

Cujo (1983): Probably my second-favorite King movie now. Very simple, yet effective.

Lady Bird (2017): I’m happy to have seen this before the hype got too big. It was so relatable and enjoyable.

Christine (1983): Quite entertaining, great music, top camp.

Hey Arnold!: The Jungle Movie (2017): Mostly made up of callbacks, but I DO NOT CARE. Such a satisfying nostalgia bookend.

Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing, Missouri (2017): Fantastic dialogue and performances. I feel so many side stories and characters were meant to build up the main storyline and give context, but I feel it left a lot of characters wanting and left used. 

Novitiate (2017): I had no idea the Catholic church did the sisters so dirty with Vatican II. Very tense film and makes you quite sympathetic for the women in it.

Bright Lights: Starring Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds (2016): Spectacular HBO documentary of my goddess and the mother goddess. I cried a lot.

Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry (2012): Documentary follows Chinese artist and figure, Ai Weiwei, as he uses social media and activism in his art and to hold the government accountable.

Shameless (Season 6): Needs more Ian. Tired of everyone else’s bullshit. Will I last much longer?

Calamity Jane (1953): Casting Doris Day as the butch Calamity Jane is the most hilarious and gay thing I’ve ever seen and I love it.

Murder on the Orient Express (2017): It’s beautiful, but such a terrible adaptation that guts any tension, stakes, and even mystery as well as gives little for the talented cast to cut their teeth on.

Sky Ladder: The Art of Cai Guo-Qiang (2016): The attempts and execution of a 1,650 foot ladder made of fireworks.

Monster (2003): Ohhhh, THAT’S why Charlize won the Oscar...

The Big Sick (2017): So charming and such a legit romantic comedy.

The Disaster Artist (2017): I watched this in the same way I watched the room: Through my fingers, curled up on my side, and whispering, “Stop. Stop. Stop.” I loved it.

Coco (2017): Well, Pixar fucked me up once again.

My Friend Rockefeller (2015): Documentary about con artist and murderer Christian Gerhartsreiter.

A Series of Unfortunate Events (Season 1): De. Light. Ful.

Shameless (Season 7): Finally caught up!

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017): Yes. I see the faults. I understand. I just don’t care. I absolutely loved it. 

The Greatest Showman (2017): Probably my biggest disappointment of the year. The cast and musical numbers were great, but everything in-between was so weak and uninteresting. For a non-diagetic musical, they never earned their musical moments. I’d rather have watched a non-Barnum circus movie all about ZEfron and Zendaya for 2 hours with Jackman in the Master of Ceremonies role. It felt like every non-musical scene was trying to sprint through to get to the next song.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017): I didn’t expect to adore this as much as I did? Jack Black was the standout and was so endearing and respectful towards teenage girls!

The Little Hours (2017): My forever mood/aesthetic in film form.

Gook (2017): Black and white film about the ‘92 L.A. riots from the perspective of two Korean-American brothers.

Carnage (2017): Mockumentary made by Simon Amstell told from the future where veganism is the norm.

Good Time (2017): An epic told over the span of 24 hours of a bank robbery gone wrong.

Dave Chappelle: Equanimity & The Bird Revelation (2017): Chappelle’s latest Netflix specials, back to back. I don’t agree with a lot of what he said and didn’t always laugh. But when he reached me, he did it right.

Battle of the Sexes (2017): That haircut scene helps fuel my Emma Stone fantasies. 

I, Tonya (2017): While I do believe Harding never takes responsibility for herself when she should, I still can’t begrudge her place in media history.

The Shape of Water (2017): This movie was fucking everything to me.

2016 | 2015 | 2014