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[rolandkaros]

anna kalinskaya + floortime

[perseusannabeth]

Don’t Look (Okay Maybe Just a Little Peek) - Part 2

So here’s part 2 of Don’t Look (Okay Maybe Just a Little Peak), which was highly requested (I was so shocked lmao). Shout out to @bookstantrash for the idea! I hope you enjoy it.

If anyone has anymore requests, then please send them to my ask box! I’m currently running very low on prompts. It seems I am on a roll this week, since I’m off work.

Read part 1 here

Read on AO3

Masterlist for all fics

Word Count: 1806

Cassian was staring at the ceiling. He had the fan blowing on him, the windows were open, and he was in his boxers, but he still couldn't sleep. All he could think of was the events from yesterday afternoon. He closed his eyes and cursed the gods for taunting him. There was no other way to explain it. Cassian had been head over heels in love with Nesta for what felt like forever but was more likely to be a few months after meeting her nearly 3 years ago. He had been the one that had suggested living with her, thinking he could handle it, but it had been pure torture.  

Nesta had always been so put together, full of fire and looked as though she would rip his balls off if he dared to even breathe wrong, and he had loved it. Seeing her first thing in the morning, wearing oversized shirts that were extremely faded, and her hair a mess, her eyes barely open had been too much for Cassian to bear when he had first seen her. Now, almost a year of them living together, it still took his breath away, he had just gotten better at hiding his reaction to her, or so he hoped. Either way, she didn’t snap at him for funnily staring at her anymore.   

He had thought that would be the best version of Nesta he could ever see. That was the soft side of Nesta, which only a privileged few could say they had seen, and Cassian could add his name to that very shortlist. The horny side of him had decided that the best version of Nesta was the version he had seen yesterday. The horny part of his brain seemed to take over a lot when it came to Nesta which was unfortunate. This was even worse than when she walked around with no bra on under her shirts and he could see the faint outline of her nipples poking through. 

Cauldron, he felt like such a pervert. He felt incredibly guilty for walking in on Nesta in the shower. He was an idiot. He should've been paying attention when he had gotten home, but he hadn't because he had just assumed Nesta wasn't home yet. He had planned on just having a quick piss and then asking Nesta if she needed picking up since she hadn't texted him. He hadn't even noticed the shower running, although after he had left the bathroom, it was the loudest sound he'd ever heard.   

He had just barged into the bathroom, and gods above, he was so fucked. He had only caught a glimpse of what he had known was under her clothes all along, the thoughts he had tried not to linger on all this time. The pert breasts, rosy coloured nipples, the round ass that he just wanted to take a bite out of, her soft-looking skin, the little patch of hair between her legs that he just wanted to sink into, with his mouth, fingers or dick, he wasn’t particularly fussy, he just wanted to taste her.  

Cassian let out a small groan of frustration as he closed his eyes, images of Nesta flashing in his mind no matter how much he tried to wish them away. Just brilliant, now he was warm and horny. He was never going to sleep now. At least tomorrow was Saturday and he didn't have to go to work. He knew that if he turned up to work with shadows under his eyes and irritated, his brothers would easily figure out what the cause of his sleeplessness was. He had managed to pass Friday off as the unbearable summer heat keeping him up at night, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to make them fall for that one twice in a row. They had seemed suspicious when he had given his excuse but had let it go when Mor had changed the subject. He had never been more grateful for Mor in his life. He knew that she would probably grill him afterwards though, the price of her help was always gossip.   

His brothers thought it was hilarious that he was so gone for Nesta. They had never seen Cassian pining for someone. The pining was made even more interesting by Nesta's cold outward demeanour, and the way she rebuffed his attempts at flirting with her. Cassian knew there was more to it than Nesta being some ice queen. He knew that her shitty ex must have done a number on her. He saw the way that even Feyre was so soft and careful with Nesta when it came to certain topics. She hadn't been at first, but she must've found something out. Found out what that dickhead Tomas had done.  

Cassian couldn't stop thinking about the way Nesta had looked when he had cornered her in the kitchen. Not just how beautiful she looked in her pyjamas, her wet hair shoved up haphazardly, the slight blush on her cheeks from the embarrassment of being seen by Cassian in such a vulnerable state. No, Nesta was shocked. Shocked that Cassian would ever have feelings for Nesta, that he would ever think of her in that way. 

Maybe she had written off all of his flirting attempts as him joking around, he had never wanted to try seriously because of the fear of rejection. He didn’t want to make things awkward, to ruin what they already had. If things went south, he knew Nesta would cut off their friend circle, and he couldn’t live with that. But the fact that Nesta had never noticed the other men and women who flirted with her when they were out, the lingering stares. That surprised Cassian. He had just assumed she knew what she looked like, the effect she had on people.

He hoped that Nesta’s comment before she left to go to her room the other day meant that perhaps, she was slowly starting to change her mind about herself. That she would see herself the way she was, not the way that dickhead Tomas had made her see herself. She deserved better than that. 

Cassian eventually snapped out of his Nesta musings. He hadn’t seen her since they had spoken in the kitchen, since Cassian had opened his big fat mouth. He hoped he hadn’t scared her off. He hoped that she was just busy with work, and that’s why he hadn’t seen her all day. That had happened to them before. But if she was avoiding him, Cassian wasn’t sure his heart could handle that. 

Feeling even more restless now, Cassian decided to get up and get himself some water to drink. Maybe he’d take a sleeping pill and pass the fuck out because he wasn’t sure he could deal with 2 days in a row of not sleeping properly. 

He got up, pulling on some joggers just in case Nesta happened to be up at this time. He doubted it, Nesta slept at old people times, but still, he wouldn’t want to parade around in just his boxers and make her uncomfortable. 

He opened his door, only to come face to face with the woman who had ruined his sleep for 2 nights in a row now. She looked surprised, but then quickly neutralised her expression, and stepped away slightly after noticing just how close they were. 

“Nes, are, erm, is everything okay?”

Nesta was in her pyjamas, her hair slightly messy like she had been tossing and turning before she decided to get up. Her eyes were bright and alert, so she hadn’t just woken up. Perhaps Cassian wasn’t the only one unable to sleep.

“I… fine. I just, I was wondering, I mean-” Nesta rubbed her face, her frustration visible across her face. She took a deep breath, as though to ground her, and then tried again. “I just wanted to apologise for making things awkward with everything that happened.” Nesta’s face flushed slightly as she spoke. 

“Oh. You don’t need to apologise, it’s not your fault. I should’ve been paying attention. I’m sorry I made you feel uncomfortable, and for any of the dumb things I said afterwards.”

Nesta was silent and still. She didn’t move beyond the rise and fall of her chest. She just stared at Cassian in a way that was almost unnerving. Like she was analysing him for any little weakness. 

“You surprised me.”

Cassian’s eyebrows raised slightly at her admission. “What I said in the kitchen?” Nesta nodded slowly, her eyes now studying his, as though she was trying to look for some hidden meaning in them. “It’s true. I was afraid it would somehow ruin things, so I never said anything, but I used to practice how to ask you out in the mirror. Before you moved in before I found out you were with-” He cut himself off, not wanting to mention Tomas’ name in case it somehow upset her. 

“If things had been different, would you have?” 

“I’m not sure, I’m not sure I would have been brave enough. I’d like to think so. But either way, it doesn’t matter. What matters is now. Nesta Archeron, please, put me out of my misery and go out with a date with me?”

He couldn’t hide the hope on his face as he stared down at Nesta. 

“Okay.”

Cassian felt like he couldn’t breathe. “Okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll give it a shot.”

Cassian couldn’t help the big smile spread across his face. “I’ll do my best to make sure you don’t regret it. Thank you.”

Nesta smiled slowly, and Cassian felt like he had been punched in the chest. She was stunning, breathtaking, and she had agreed to go on a date with him. He was the luckiest bastard in the world. 

“Actually, I should thank you. You made me realise something.”

“What?” He asked breathlessly. 

“That I need to re-evaluate the way I see myself.” With that, she smiled, and leaned in, standing on her tiptoes to give him a quick peck on the cheek before walking back to her bedroom. 

Cassian was in a daze. He could feel the heat rushing to his cheeks. He felt like a 12-year-old, blushing because he had been kissed by a pretty girl. But Nesta Archeron wasn’t just a pretty girl, she was the best thing that had ever happened to him. She was a wildfire, but he was more than willing to get burnt by her. As Cassian got back into bed, completely forgetting why he had gotten out of bed in the first place, and unable to wipe the dopey smile on his face, his cheek still tingling from where Nesta had kissed him, he couldn’t help but think that perhaps things were looking up for Cassian and Nesta. 

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@hizqueen4life @kelly-fasel @sannelovesreading @acourtofmarauders @maastrash @sjm-things @bookstantrash @cursebreaker29 @humanexile @iammissstark @stardelia @superspiritfestival @courtofjurdan @cass-nes @thewayshedreamed

[lady-plantagenet]

What hasn’t already been said: The Spanish Princess 2

Episode 3: GOOD Grief! (we finally have a good episode on our hands)

To all those of you keen enough to have come back for another segment of ‘what hasn’t already been said: TSP’, as opposed to have just been scrolling when you see this - welcome back! (Scrollers you too <3)

Drawing of Thomas More’s Son AKA who Margaret Pole at this point wants to be the step baby momma of ;).

To anyone who’s seeing this for the first time: what this is a list of observations, jokes, reactions and criticism which occur to me upon a rewatch. I wait every week until Saturday to do this so that I have had my fill of scrolling through the tag and aggregating what has already been said. I tried doing a whole spoof (here where I gave up 10% in) but tbh a) I don’t know the history well enough b) it’s more time consuming than I thought and c) this series is just not as funny or as crazy as TWQ, so it’s untenable. Having said that: This is not a hatepost. I’m not hatewatching this series and nitpicking on purpose but expressing my honest views and trying to find the good in it as well as the bad.

Without further ado...

First Scenes: 

LMAO the way Wolsey suggests they break their alliance with Spain is freaking hilarious because the actor delivers the lines as if he were a high school girl making a personal attack by suggesting the prom change its theme to 70s disco to the chagrin of the peppy up-and-coming rival.

Also @ Henry VIII looking like the peppy up-and-comer’s bff and shy stan with that pencil bite and small smirk when Catherine loses her cool against Wolsey.

I’m sorry... who is Henry married to again?

Also what is Margaret Pole doing at the council meeting?? I’m not saying I don’t like it.

Margaret Pole warning against certain repetitive thinking creating madness :(((

Attempted Naked Twister:

Oh Catherine, what is with you and all the other STARZ protagonists and that weird politcky bedroom talk? Who actually finds this sexy?

‘Catherine you are unnatural’ ooof that line delivery was somehow haunting.

Was the whole ‘I can’t be rushed you are off-putting with your overpowering’ a callback to Arthur and Catherine? Apparently there’s another writer for this episode so I won’t put all subtly past them. 

Scotland:

‘Shitey men’ asdkjashd

Look I’m tired of all this ‘my children won’t be safe’ line getting repeated. Look mate, murder of royal infants and children was not exactly a common occurence, even in cases of deposition. The Princes in the Tower are an exception to this but a very infamous case for that reason. Child murder was extremely taboo. In situations like this with an infant kid, no one is going to bother murdering the babies and taking their thrones, the lords will just vie for power and make themselves de facto rulers and oust the queen. It’s not a question of safety but a question of holding power. Stop giving all women characters perma mummy brains.

Maggie being all caring:

‘Barnaby’ *scoffs* ‘Such an English name’ - OH MAN 0_0 is Catherine mocking them for trying to adapt ? Like I know it’s meant to show her envy for Lina, but it’s coming out all messed up.

Our girl Maggie’s smile screams I’m beating your ass in chess.

Anyhow this is the least histrionic we’ve seen Catherine so far.

Chaplain vs Catherine:

I’m interested how Catherine will feel at Stafford’s execution given that I have noticed this show build up to a friendship between them.

Why is everyone laughing at the whole ‘will you delight us with new schemes’ line was not that funny?

LMAO at Thomas Boleyn’s attempted brown-nosing. 

You know what? Ruairi is a decent actor. When he says ‘so you admit it? you lost the child because you tried to be a man?” the actor conveys Henry’s troubled mind, lowkey scare towards Catherine and bewilderment all in one. The way his eyes do not move but just widen emotionlessly also gives this sense that he is being manipulated (which I guess they are going for with Wolsey). Then the whole choir music in the background.. I don’t know.. I’m liking this, it’s creating a vibe of a king of haunted and increasingly paranoid Henry. I’m sure they are going for that, so good.

Ursula Pole and Mama:

Maggie Pole say ‘riches don’t keep you safe’ with tears in her eyes :’(. Please tell me how this is not her thinking on her parents and granddad Warwick and what befell them ;’(.

I find Ursula refreshing actually, don’t get those types of heroines often. But they are making her similar to a gold-digger, an exhalted marriage was first and foremost considered a thing of honour. Noblepeople wouldn’t speak in such mercenary terms regarding their marriages. 

Post Mary Defiance:

I love the ‘horse’ nickname from Brandon n’awwww

Also just realised what made TWQ so atmospheric - that wierd ‘oooo’ sound effect in the background when a character was being paranoid or worrying. They are using it during Henry’s ‘How is it that I have no sons?’ and it is just... so effective.

Catherine calling them ordinary children... she just keeps striking me as more and more classist. Like ok, I know every royal was... but still, I thought she was meant to see Lina as a friend and equal despite her race and status. To add the race element, this kind of rubs me the wrong way.

Also it is so clear by the end when Catherine states how the king is upset with her, she expects Maggie to ask her about it.. but she doesn’t lmao.

Back to Scotland until Sexy boy fencing:

I love me this soft boi. Angus <3 <3

I like how they address that some men don’t really like killing and that violence isn’t inherent in a man’s nature.

Oh man, are we supposed to look at Lina’s house and deplore the impoverished conditions? It would go for at least 3,000,000 pounds in today’s property market?

Is Catherine being particularly classist again with ‘Why u not becoming a butcher Wolsey, ey?’. 

Though I will admit the ‘but giving meat to the poor is also good’ was one of her only smart comebacks.

Just realised, Catherine’s pink dress pretty as it is, looks straight out of the 1570s... why?

Montage and After:

You guys are right, there is this weird longing between Henry and Wolsey lmao. It is actually insane.

So basically Catherine is officially depressed

OOOFF we have Stafford as regent instead of Catherine. (edit: I suppose it’s cause they go to France which they didn’t historically? Also if Stafford is at home then what is his son later doing in France, why would he be there without his father. This show didn’t think this through)

Meg Singing:

An impassionate speech is not too anachronistic. But despite the title of this post (what hasn’t been said) I will reiterate that 16th century and Medieval people’s problem wasn’t that they were ashamed of their grief and didn’t cry. In fact, crying was somewhat more socially acceptable then than it even is now! Even manly men like Arthur were written as crying in literature such as Malory’s Morte d’Arthur. Obviously you couldn’t go overboard, but in truth crying was indeed often too performative rather than hidden too much behind doors.

Pole and More UWUWU in France and after:

I LIKE THIS INTELLECTUAL FLIRTING

It’s nice to see a depiction of romantic feelings between mature and level-headed subjects.

God Mary Tudor is so beautiful in this scene jesus. and the music when she was being presented was also very beautiful.

Maggie Pole getting given ‘a modest income’ yeah... she was one of the wealthiest peers of her day.

Also Maggie’s lady cousin not lady aunt Frost!

‘shaking of the sheets’ lmaoooo

William Compton cracks the hell out of me. I love this guy. He is just so creepy and twisted yet super keen and friendly. ahaha He looks like a riot, I hope we see him more. lmao tiles.

Also this palace feels very anachronistic almost 18th century-ish.

I like the Louis and Mary sequence, it’s nice seeing him trying to make her feel less scared, but OMFG when he lay on that chair.. for one second I thought they were trying to kill him off already.

Scotland: ‘Love is an open doooooorrrrr’ + Last Scene:

I ship Meg and Douglas ahhhh this soft boi x strong woman match is everything Henry and Catherine could have been.

I wonder... why is Lina speaking in Spanish more than Catherine. hmmm Are they trying to foreshadow Lina’s eventual return home and how Catherine become a true englishwoman?

Conclusion:

7.5/10

I cannot in all fairness believe it. This was actually decent. I’ve given up on historical accuracy long ago so by this point I’m focusing more on how it stands as as drama. I mean, TWQ was also a flop when it came to grasping the complex issues of that era but why do I feel compelled to rewatch it every year? Because it had atmosphere when it came to acting, music, certain aesthetics (though the costumes let me down often). It felt adequately gothic and dark, yet bright and jewel-lish when it had to be, sometimes both at the same time. Some one-liners were also memorable etc...

So far TSP 2 did not have any of this. Everything felt way too off and anachronistic. But not even consistently anachronistic. The music was also often very meh (though I just noted the absence of the spanish stringy theme that kept playing in season 1 - I guess I understand why), the dialogue very clichéd (‘alright lads let’s throw in the words: king, crown, power, fight, battle + other buzzwords and we have ourselves Shakespeare’) and so on... but I saw a change in this episode and I couldn’t initially point out what it was.

Upon rewatch, I identified some of the improvements (noted above) but above all: The producer was different! Boy does it show. Unfortunately, I think she is only for this one episode which really sucks. Come back! There is more chemistry between the couples, less predictable interactions, pervy Compton, cinnamonroll Douglas, better music, more scenic shots (e.g Douglas and Margaret in church) e.t.c. I hope it will match the rest of the STARZ productions in getting better towards the end.

Look it’s no masterpiece. But I’ll give credit where it’s due because at least this time it didn’t leave me feeling wanting and unsatisfied (if that makes sense).

[preservationandruin]

Rhythm of War Liveblog, Part One Part 2 (Chapters 3-8)

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[to the tune of Things I Bought At Sheetz] Now It’s time for Notes I Took At Work. This is going to be a weird experiment, because I read these chapters while at my job and took extensive notes on my reactions, which I’m now going to try to condense into something coherent. 

Navani revels in a successful invention, Shallan encounters a very bad cult, I quote--of all things--Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, A Certain Fucker reappears, Leshwi becomes a character I like, Shallan finds a journal, I digress on Renarin’s abilities, and everyone is rightfully worried about Kaladin. Content warning; discussion of suicide and suicidal tendencies

Alright, we open Chapter Three with Navani’s AIRSHIP, which is a kickass sentence. She’s leaning over the side of the ship, to the distress of one of her fellow scholars who attempts to appeal to Dalinar to get her to stop. 

“It’s Navani’s ship, Velat,” Dalinar said from behind, his voice as steady as steel, as immutable as mathematics. She loved his voice. “I think she’d have me thrown off if I tried to prevent her from enjoying this moment.” 

This is great both because Dalinar and Navani are great, but also as a contrast to Gavilar saying that Navani doesn’t accomplish anything herself, she just pretends to be an inventor and stays behind other, smarter people. Dalinar says no, this is Navani’s ship, this is her victory. The ship’s base design is one of the chasm bridges; it’s operated on the same principles as spanreeds, a kind of sympathetic link where you link two fabrials and whatever happens to one, happens to the other. Just augmented with aluminum and a LOT of pulleys and hard work. 

My notes also say “Eat Shit Gavilar” which i think is just, a general note. 

Anyway she also wishes that Elhokar was there because he loved being up high and also watching her draw...so now I’m feeling emotions, and if that wasn’t enough, I get hit in the feelings again because the name of the ship is the Fourth Bridge, after Bridge Four because of the time they saved Dalinar and Adolin at the tower, and it not only has the Bridge Four glyph inlaid but the original bridge inlaid. 

We see Dalinar and Lirin interact (my notes call this a “Dad convention”) --Lirin, of course because he’s Kaladin’s father, doesn’t really defer to Dalinar at all but does see the potential of this platform as a movable hospital; he’s discomfited by the reminder that Edgedancers are usually used for that now. Lirin really is a practical man who doesn’t believe in heroes or hero stories, which is unfortunate because they’re coming to life all around him. Also Dalinar calls him Lirin Stormblessed which is pretty funny because Lirin is Not Having It. 

Also, we get this great line from Navani about Lirin and Kaladin: 

However, as she stepped up beside Dalinar, she caught Lirin’s eyes--and the familial connection became more obvious. That same quiet intensity, that same faintly judgmental gaze that seemed to know too much about you. In that moment she saw two men with the same soul, for all their physical differences. 

This is really interesting in light of how Kaladin and Lirin are at the moment arguing; they both are at their core very driven, caring people who want the best for their community, but they are at odds for the best way to achieve that in part because they’ve had such different experiences; Kaladin’s life hasn’t let him be the surgeon Lirin is. 

For more changes in the year since we last met these characters, Dalinar has learned how to recharge stormlight and open perpendicularities at will, which essentially makes him a portable battery for the Radiants. That’s super useful. Navani likes observing the process, hoping that somewhere in it is a key to how Urithiru functions; she knows that it used to be powered by the Sibling, the third god-spren of Roshar, but after the Recreance the Sibling either died or fell so asleep the spren treat it as having died. 

That’s interesting; the Sibling has been something I’ve been wondering about a lot, and confirmation that it was tied to Urithiru seems to preclude it being a godspren of Odium like I’d thought for a bit (and in any case, Odium has the Unmade and doesn’t seem the time to fragment himself into a godspren). Another spren of Honor or Cultivation? Or perhaps a spren of both? More importantly, if it really is dead, is there still a way to revive Urithiru? Last book talked about possibly recruiting Sja-anat; if we do, could she serve as an alternate power source for the tower? 

We also get the Mink, the Herdazian general, slipping up on Dalinar and Navani without them noticing and also calling Dalinar the fuck out for the many atrocities that his armies and nation had unleashed on the Herdazians, which Dalinar can’t really refute. I like this guy, honestly; I’m not sure what’s up with him, if he’s just really good at sneaking around or if he has something Up With Him, but I like him. 

Back with the Three (Shallan/Radiant/Veil), they wake up to find themselves in the chasms with an EXTREMELY melodramatic cult. They’re looking for proof Ialai is now running the Hypocrites Association--sorry, the Sons of Honor; Radiant refuses to move against Ialai without proof, even though Shallan and Veil both kinda wish Adolin had killed her at the same time as Sadeas and saved everyone some trouble. Anyway, the Hypocrites association wear deep, fancy hoods that leads to a great Shallan thought: 

Shallan had a fleeting thought, wondering at the seamstress they’d hired to do all this work. What had they told her? “Yes, we want twenty identical, mysterious robes, sewn with ancient arcane symbols. They’re for...parties.” 

They claim both to have guided the return of the Radiants and to be overthrowing Dalinar, which is hilarious because Dalinar is a Radiant so the only real extrapolation here is that, in the fantasy where they’re right about any of this, they brought the radiants back and lost control of the situation immediately and now are recruiting random strangers to try to help rein it back in. Which is still not a good look. 

Oh and also they claim to be “something greater” than the Radiants, and I really doubt they’re the Heralds, so everything they say is horseshit, as is proven a second later when they test if Shallan is wearing an illusion with a device she herself sold them at an exorbitant price. And then claiming that Radiants can’t tell untrue oaths, right in front of Shallan, who is bonded to a liespren. 

They’re just a very bad cult. 

Also they say Ialai is the true queen, which raises many questions to me about the line of succession that gives them THAT math, especially with Gavinor alive and there. Like, somehow Sadeas’s widow gets priority over the last king’s living child? I know they’re just a stupid cult but guys, that’s not how lines of succession work in monarchies. 

Anyway, Shallan hears them say that they have a mole in Dalinar’s inner circle--bad--and goes off-script, taking control to say she’s not who they think she is, and we cut back to Kaladin for the next chapter, which is called Broken Spears which prompted my note of “I don’t trust like that.” And then instantly I started laughing because of this quote: 

[The windrunners] hung in the air like no skyeel ever could: motionless, equidistant.

This is not a particularly funny line unless you, like me, have never been able to forget a line from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy: 

“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.”

So there’s that. 

Kaladin has apparently fought with Leshwi before at this point (she is, iirc, the Fused who was one of the main points of contact for Moash during his arc in Oathbringer); last time, Rock’s daughter Cord managed to shoot her down. The Windrunners, like the Edgedancers, have grown in number; there are about 50 knights, now, and five times that in squires; the problem is that there aren’t enough willing honorspren to bond. Kaladin mentions that “almost all” of Bridge Four had bonded honorspren and that he knew one honorspren who was willing but unbonded, all of which leads me to believe that Rock hasn’t sworn the Oaths yet. 

Meanwhile, these Fused--the Heavenly Ones--prefer one on one battles, as Kaladin noted in earlier chapters, so the Windrunners do the same; as long as they do this, the Heavenly Ones will keep to the ideals of honorable combat and will not gang up on the Windrunners. Again, it shows that they are both the orders that deal with Honorspren, even if the Heavenly Ones deal with...void-honorspren, I guess. 

Also, it’s another nod to the idea of if there can be such a thing as honorable combat in a war. Both the Heavenly Ones and the Windrunners are trying for it, clearly, but is that sustainable? 

Leshwi is in fact there, with a very cool aluminum-edged sword that can absorb stormlight into a gem at the hilt. She, along with the rest of the Fused and apparently the Heralds (Shalash and Taln are both in Urithiru), are stunned by the Fourth Bridge; fuck yeah, Navani and her team. She’s so cool, guys, I love Navani. Also, everyone is worried about Kaladin. 

Shallan, meanwhile, is ad-libbing having even more information, which leads to a hilarious moment of her being accused of treason by a member of the cult who are trying to overthrow the current queen, so...there’s a reason I’m calling them the Hypocrites Association, alright? Anyway, Adolin decides it’s time to attack, and Radiant and Shallan manage to bluff their way into being taken along to the hideout as the Hypocrites Association retreats. 

With Kaladin again, we get that the Fused see him as a particular challenge they enjoy fighting, although Leshwi always has first dibs; he fights another Fused and manages to disarm him, but decides not to kill him because killing him is pointless. Also, the teleporting fucker comes back, and yes, that is what I’m calling him until further notice. 

Something happened in Aimia that led to Cord getting a set of shardplate. Is this the Dawnshard novel? Is that what happened in Aimia? I’m going to read it next regardless but now I’m curious about what happened on the Radiant expedition to Aimia. 

So it turns out that the Hypocrites Association has a secret passage into and out of the chasms with a hidden door, which was probably a bolthole for escape that Sadeas put in early during the war at the Shattered Plains. His keep is also noted by Veil to be fortresslike; she notes that he was a cunning man, not just the blowhard that Shallan had taken him for. Ialai is now the sole remaining leader of the dissident Alethi army; while Radiant wants evidence against her that can have her be taken in, Veil is here just to assassinate her and have done with it. 

And honestly there is a nice symmetry in Adolin killing Sadeas and Shallan/the Three killing Ialai. 

Anyway, we go back to Kaladin as Leshwi fights Sigzil now; she manages to spear him through the chest, and I swear to god if any of the original Bridgemen actually die, I’m going to kick Brandon Sanderson’s ass. Those are my BOYS. In any case, Leshwi doesn’t kill Sigzil, because Kaladin spared one of the Fused earlier--honor in combat, again. There’s definitely a whole essay I could discuss about this opening few chapters and the idea of if continuing a fight is the right thing to do and if that fight can be continued in a way that is moral, but I don’t have the time for that, I’m trying to do NaNoWriMo and read this book. 

I’ll shelve it along with the Oathbringer and the idea of personal responsibility essay. 

We go back to Navani and get another real sense of how well she knows her team; she knows the personal tics and oddities of all the ardents and scholars who are helping her on the Fourth Bridge, which is nice to see. We also get that Renarin is here, distracting crying children by having Glys form a ball of light, and Navani has this observation: 

Renarin claimed the spren [Glys] was trustworthy, but something was odd about his powers. They had managed to recruit several standard Truthwatchers--and they could create illusions like Shallan. Renarin couldn’t do that. He could only summon lights, and they did strange, unnatural things sometimes...

Really excited to see how Renarin’s powers develop similarly to or different from standard Truthwatchers; I agree that Glys is probably trustworthy because Renarin is the best judge of that at the moment and also because “the corrupted spren turns out to be evil” isn’t a very interesting plot development compared to “there can be good corrupted spren” 

And then I got yanked forcibly off-topic because guess who fucking showed up. Moash decided to show his backstabbing, treacherous little face again, wearing--of all things--a uniform cut exactly like Bridge Four’s but in black rather than blue, which is just a stupendous dick move. Navani is the one who sees him, too, and we get a sharp reminder that he murdered her son.

Kaladin doesn’t hear the alarm that Navani raises, though, because he’s busy fighting Leshwi, something he seems to genuinely enjoy as a test of his skills. He pushes his home-field advantage here, managing to distract Leshwi to the point that they both seriously injure the other; Kaladin is grinning throughout, which is actually somewhat disturbing. To me it reads like Kaladin’s stopped caring about his own life in favor of trying to help others at any cost, but I’m not sure if that’ll play through as an accurate read. 

In any case, someone set Roshone’s house on fire, and the teleporting fucker is there and actively attacking civilians. Leshwi is pissed off to see this and gestures for Kaladin to go and deal with that rather than continuing their fight; at this point, I really started loving Leshwi as a character. I’m a sucker for a good principled antagonist lady, they’re just a good trope. 

Anyway, we get to Chapter Seven. Navani’s epigraph notes that zinc makes the spren in fabrials more active, while brass quiets them. So...you could say...that brass soothes them...while zinc...makes them riot....

Anyway, back to Ialai, Shallan notes that she seems extremely worn and tired, and she claims to support Gavinor to the throne--with herself as regent, of course. She and Shallan proceed to have an entire conversation in wine metaphors, talking about who they are working with or for, and Ialai assumes that the Ghostbloods sent the Three to kill her, claiming they want the Sons of Honor out of the way and will send her after Restares next. Veil instantly switches her vote to not killing Ialai bc she doesn’t like to be manipulated, and Adolin kicks down the door. 

Ialai tells Shallan to search her rooms for “the rarest vintage” before the Ghostbloods can, and then--before she can even leave the building--she dies of poisoning, implying there’s a mole somewhere in Adolin and Shallan’s people. That’s not great, and the Ghostbloods aren’t fucking around in the slightest with her. 

Meanwhile, with Kaladin, the teleporting fucker took Godeke--the one named Edgedancer here other than Lift--hostage to lure Kaladin inside, where he uses a strange, void-fabrial to drain Surgebinder powers in the room. And then makes a critical error in thinking that that will be enough: 

The Fused laughed and spoke in Alethi. “Radiants! You rely too much on your powers. Without them, what are you? A peasant child with no real training in the art of warfare or--”  Kaladin slammed himself against the soldier to the right. 

Oh you poor idiots, Kaladin was a prodigy with the spear LONG before he was a Windrunner, went most of his army career without bonding Syl, and--crucially--one of you is carrying a physical spear. Checkmate, assholes. Kaladin quickly beats most of the ones there, including killing the teleporting fucker before he can teleport again, and lets the last one go--of course--before helping Lift get Godeke out and telling her to get the void fabrial to Navani. 

Meanwhile, he’s going to go make sure Roshone is alright, where I have the very prescient note of “I bet actual money Moash is killing him as we speak.” 

Ialai’s probable method of death was blackbane poison in her bloodstream; one of Shallans’ people examines the body for it, while Shallan goes to search ialai’s rooms. 

Another epigraph note, this time about bronze and heliodor being used to make warning fabrials. Scadrial really was just a primer on the uses of various metals with investiture, huh? 

Meanwhile, Kaladin finds the prisoners below the manor killed with a shardblade, and spins around to find Moash slitting Roshone’s throat before making what I called, in a late-night worktime daze, “just a series of rat bastard moves. Hate that guy. Just honestly hate that guy.” 

Specifically, he surrenders so that Kal cannot keep attacking him--because Kal’s a good person--just after taunting him for wanting to rescue someone. 

Back with Shallan, Veil is pushing her again to continue remembering their past, but she still resists; she finds a rare Shin wine in Ialai’s store, before using that to find a pattern on the floor of old, shadowyears-era glyphs with maps of the ten Epoch Kingdoms, under one of which is a notebook of Ialai’s; she tucks it in her safepouch, and we go back to Kaladin. 

I really think the arc for Kaladin in this book is going to be accepting that he can’t save everyone,  particularly from themselves, because he pauses and remembers how Moash had been a friend, but even more than that, he had been Bridge Four--someone that Kaladin had sworn to protect, and he’d failed: 

Kaladin had failed Moash. As soundly as he’d failed Dunny, Mart, and Jaks. And of them all, losing Moash hurt the most. Because in those callous eyes, Kaladin saw himself. 

Kaladin can’t keep blaming himself for Moash’s choices, because Moash chose to do this, and was given ways out, and didn’t take them. It’s not Kaladin’s fault, and believing that it is is going to get Kaladin killed. 

And then, Moash winds up and delivers a grade-A Odium-powered Breaking Speech: 

"They're going to die, you know," Moash said softly. "Everyone you love, everyone you think you can protect. They're all going to die anyway. There's nothing you can do about it." [...] "Do you remember the chasm, Kal?" Moash whispered. "In the rain that night? Standing there, looking down into the darkness, knowing it was your sole release? You knew it hen. You try to pretend you've forgotten. But you know. As sure as the storms will come. As sure as every lighteyes will lie. There is only one answer. One path. One result. [...] I've found the better way," Moash said. "I feel no guilt. I've given it away, and in so doing became the person I always could have become--if I hadn't been restrained. I can take away the pain, Kal. Isn't that what you want? An end to your suffering?”

Odium’s deal all over again--he will take away your pain and your responsibility for your actions, but the price for that is your integrity and your honor. It’s so insidious, especially because Moash is exploiting the fact that Kaladin was suicidal to play into the idea of life being hopeless--he’s implying that Kaladin’s suicidal impulses were right and then offering another way out. It’s so, so so so awful, and Kaladin can’t even bring himself to fight it, because it’s coming from an unarmed man and it’s targeted so directly at him. 

 “The answer is to stop existing, Kal. You’ve always known it, haven’t you?”  Kaladin blinked away tears, and the deepest part of him--the little boy who hated the rain and the darkness--withdrew into his soul and curled up. Because...he did want to stop hurting. 

He wanted it so badly. 

Ugh, Moash’s whole thing here is just seeding that suicidality back into Kaladin--because frankly, most of the time? When someone is suicidal, in my (admittedly limited and personal) experience? What they genuinely want isn’t to die--they just want not to hurt anymore, and they see that as the only way. 

Light exploded into the room.  Clean and white, like the light of the brightest diamond. The light of the sun. A brilliant, concentrated purity.  Moash growled, spinning around, shading his eyes against the source of the light--which came from the doorway. The figure behind it wasn’t visible as anything more than a shadow.  Moash shied away from the light--but a version of him, transparent and filmy, broke off and stepped toward the light instead. Like an afterimage. In it, Kaladin saw the same Moash--but somehow standing taller, wearing a brilliant blue uniform. This one raised a hand, confident, and although Kaladin couldn’t see them, he knew people gathered behind this Moash. Protected. Safe.  The image of Moash burst alight as a Shardspear formed in his hands.

FUCK YEAH, RENARIN. 

I’m gonna end this section by just discussing what happened here, because there’s a lot to unpack there. We’ve seen Shallan use her illusions to create versions of people who they could be, but this isn’t doing that--if you look at the cause and effect, it’s not that Renarin created this illusory Moash, but more that the light Renarin created called forth that Moash from this one. 

More than anything, it reminds me of the effects of Gold Allomancy--creating a past version of the self, splitting the self into who you are and who you were, or who you are and who you could have been. This is not a version of Moash that could exist. He’s burned too many bridges and killed too many people in front of their infant children for that to happen. 

But it could have been Moash. It’s not calling forth the truth, really, it’s showing an alternate path. It’s strange and I can’t wait to see it explored more, and it shakes Moash to his core--because of course it does. Moash’s entire speech was saying “there are only two ways out, dying and giving in to Odium,” and Renarin’s light showed that that was a stark fucking lie. There’s the third choice of deciding to stand up and protect people anyway, and it was a choice Moash could have taken, and that kills him. It eats him up inside; it’s the pain that Odium can’t fully take away. 

As Kaladin said to Amaram: if what Odium says is  true, if what you claim is true, than why do you still hurt? 

[spookyjudgement]

GBBO 2020 reactions Episode 3, don’t mind me

I get the concept of the opening skit but my Paul Patience has already worn out this season so.

Why? Do they also have to make a butter???? They’re making 2 breads already? Was having the bakers wait for their breads to prove and letting them have a break not exciting enough?

Prue saying that it would be interesting to get a “really different” butter as though she would actually like the taste of a “really different” butter *eyeroll*.

So this episode we get the explanation for Mark’s Ethiopian travels. It’s nice to see Irish and Welsh inspiration though!

I’m disappointed they’re not calling Marc Hamish. I will continue to call him Hamish. and URGH the thought of BUTTERMILK in his EAR!

Hermine’s evil laugh as she describes salmon and cheese is top quality. I love her. We also stan a knitter.

I’m rooting for Laura’s pizza stone!

Paul stop glaring at people’s bread you weirdo.

OF COURSE PETER STUDIES FINANCE I felt the VIBES! I FELT THE V I B E S! Also Paul really...loves him and it’s weird to see it. Glad to see the comment redirected to slamming Paul, though.

They’re making them...WHIP??? THE BUTTER???

LINDA <3 SHOWCASING MAK’S HONEY. MY HEART.

The apprentice kills the master lol if this ends in a Peter vs Paul death match I’d pay to watch it. Badminton finance boy, come through and kick his ass.

Rowan reinventing his story as he goes is Hilarious with the flatness.

Matt with the blueberry suggestion for Lottie. I agree with Lottie that Matt should be the one to mush blueberries in Paul’s face.

I’m glad Laura’s marzipan decision worked out!

It’s not fair that they seem to excuse underflavoring so much more than overflavoring. The Britishness really jumps out huh.

Hermine shaped her butter! So cute! Also...ew Paul’s sweaty hands. I’m glad he liked her breads.

Sura accepting her throne as flavor queen! QUEEN!

OMG NOEL THAT PAUL ROAST FOR PAUL’S NON-ADVICE COMMENT. Excellent moment.

Wait. Are they serious. Fucking rainbow bagels??? RANDOM INSTA/COOKING INFLUENCER FOOD IS APPARENTLY BAKE-OFF CONTENT NOW. Not to roast Rosanna Pansino or any of the other creators who made them but like. Why.

wha...”I think the rainbow represents the NHS” ??? More like you’ve decided the rainbow represents the NHS for you now I guess? Those look fucking neon?? guh.

Those colors...all their hands are a mess...fuckin wild...actually COMPLETELY colored with that neon mess.

I support Rowan for thinking in inches in the UK. It’s the chaotic choice. Matt’s look into the camera when Rowan said it was hilarious, like yes Matt, a contestant out-chaosed you.

I hope Hamish isn’t serious about the show making him start drinking...I would be really sad if it did :’(

Dave’s hands are still...blue. The water for many people’s bagels are...colored. Rowan’s water is straight up a witches’ brew.

I’m nervous for Dave? This doesn’t feel like his week...

It’s good to see Hamish seem like he’s in his element? It’s calming. Linda too!

Rowan and Dave at the bottom for the technical...predictable but unfortunate. But Hamish did well in the technical and was proud of himself! <3 wholesome.

ROWAN I love him, like...I didn’t do well but it was so much fun! His attitude is great, honestly. Not playing any of your anxiety games Paul.

Noel >:( Don’t make fun of Lottie. She is swan-like!

OK. Time to brace for their bullshit showstopper idea.

Bread plaque. Thing you’re most grateful for. Are you. Serious?????????

Rowan pointing out that it is traditionally inedible...bro why did they set this challenge.

“It’s probably curtain’s but I’m gonna have fun anyway” Rowan once again being iconic.

So Matt’s comment about Paul being gay got me looking because I didn’t think he was gay and...yeah he’s not AND in 2019 he broke up with a 24 year old WHY IS HE SO CONSISTENTLY HORRIBLE JESUS CHRIST SHE’S LESS THAN HALF HIS AGE alsdkjhfaskldfhj.

Sorry not over it yet. From wikipedia: “In August 2019 Hollywood split from 24-year-old girlfriend Summer Monteys-Fullam, ending a two-year relationship.” what a miserable creep ugh ugh ugh.

Dave’s having a BABY! I am excited for him.

Peter’s making a bagel dough...and he didn’t get first in bagels the day before...that makes me nervous for him.

“There is a plan. I know that’s surprising” Rowan, you are my icon.

I’m rooting for Hermine’s brioche. Stick it to the MAN Hermine!

Hamish coming in with actual Buddhist philosophy and not random fetishized shit? That’s good stuff. I’m pretty sure the production team prodded him into saying it because of his Tibetan bread though.

Prue coming in with more sense in judging Hermine’s bake than Paul. Screw you Paul, like you could have (or would have) done that quick-dash enriched dough.

Sura’s bread is good!!!! Also her asking if she could go at the end is really funny, she gives off such presenting to teachers vibes.

I’m glad Hamish did well!!!!! <3 So good!

I’m very worried for Dave...but also since when has bake-off judged based on the ideas???

Paul. Shut up about Hermine’s enriched dough. It worked well enough.

I support Matt in that comment on how much flavor bread needs anywy. Fight Paul on bread flavor, Matt. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

HAMISH WON STAR BAKER I’M SO HAPPY FOR HIM.

bro. send rowan home. I love him but send him home.

Ok. Good. My hand has been stayed.

Family?? I thought they were isolated????

[canvas-the-florist]

No Time Like the Present (3)

Pairing(s): Romantic Roceit, QPR Intrulogical, Sleepmas

Word Count: 3K

Warnings: Swearing, harassment, assassination, neglectful parents (?), homophobia mention, fire

Summary: Roman and Virgil have a bonding moment, Dolos discovers something that shouldn't be as surprising as it is, and history gets a vibe check with hindsight.

-

Roman had only been awake for three minutes and he already knew it was too early. The stress had been getting to him, and on the long way to the palace, he had only gotten three hours of sleep in the past week. Usually, he’d sleep in and cuddle into Dolos, but that wasn’t really an option. Even when he’d do expeditions alone, Roman at least knew that his love was safe at home. This wasn’t exactly a good week for him as he knew the sun wasn’t even up yet.

He sighed dramatically and stood up to stretch. Deciding to spend his time wisely so everyone could leave the moment they woke up, he fed the horses, checked around the area for any trouble, and started the hunt for food. Now, they brought food, and Roman knew this, but he had been so bored lately now that his days had an extra six hours. So this meant, he’d roughly remember everything Patton has said about scavenging and try to mimic everything Virgil has done regarding hunting. It didn’t go to plan as he wished but at least he hasn’t gotten severely injured yet, as he was still recovering from that one asshole.

Unfortunately, his brain couldn’t help but drift to Dolos. What if they were all too late? What if he gets hurt in a way he never recovers? Is this how Dolos feels whenever Roman travels out of town? He travels a l o t and he had almost always had to get patched up by the end of it. The guilt started growing as he realized that he and his boyfriend had switched roles. A little ‘I told you so’ at the end of this entire fiasco was definitely in order and Roman would accept it gracefully. He breathed in to keep himself from freaking out. He and Dolos would both get out of this alive, and it’ll be okay. But why couldn’t he bring himself to believe it?

“What the fuck are you doing up so fucking early?”

“Shut up, Virgil, you’re going to wake up Patton and you know he’s a light sleeper,” Roman said huffing slightly at the end of his sentence. Even though he had been up for hours, it was still way too early for any actual communication. “Besides, I know you like sleeping in so what woke you?”

Virgil gave a small grin and shrugged, extending his arms to invite a hug. “I can sense anxiety from 20 feet away so I thought I’d comfort you.”

“Sounds fake but okay.” Roman scoffed, accepting the hug with a small laugh. “Though it is mighty suspicious that I have woken up before you, and you have shown on multiple accounts to not sleep like,,, at all.”

Virgil shoved Roman out of the hug and punched his shoulder. A little unnecessary, but that was what basically defined their friendship at that point. Some melodramatic bickering and practically acting like they hate each other even if they would kill for one another. Though, if this were to be brought up, the two would immediately argue this, as if it was something the world wasn’t allowed to know. Logan and Patton found it ridiculous but Remus found it hilarious that they can act so stupid. Eventually, the others woke up to the two lightly bantering. The sun was up at that point and it was decided they should PROBABLY leave to finish their plan.

“Guuuysss, our horses will probably kick us if we don’t get going!” Patton called.

Roman shook his head with a tired but genuine laugh; hopefully, that laugh would be shared with Dolos soon. He ran back to the campsite, ready to leave as soon as he could.

-

After Dolos was told the plan he was half-convinced it would work.

I mean if you heard any plans about overthrowing your current government with 30 or so people, you’d be skeptical too, right? You wouldn’t just believe everything off the bat. Remy and Magenta shared a house and gave Dolos the guest bed. They weren’t together nor would they ever which was totally fine and Dolos didn’t even ask or hint at something like that when Magenta told him. He was assuming that one of them or both were in separate relationships or so.

It was late at night or early morning and he still hadn’t slept. He was under the blankets, all warm and cozy, but actually getting rest? Who did you take him for? He hardly ever slept when Roman was on his trips, but actually having an adventure for himself? That shit is scary. Dolos sighed and turned to his hide to cradle a pillow in his arms. He hugged it close to his chest, forcing his eyes closed as he imagined that he was safe and sound at home with Roman and his plants. He was so sleep deprived he could almost feel his loved one’s arms around his waist.

Unfortunately, it only lasted about twenty minutes before the sun came up, forcing Dolos to get up as the light hit his pillow and face immediately. He frowned and rubbed his eyes. This wasn’t exactly what he had in mind as a vacation at any rate. First of all, he would’ve preferred to have his boyfriend.

While he walked out to the commons of the household he noticed the lack of everyone else. Did they get curtains for every room in the house but his? Classic. He was tired and more than 75% convinced that being cursed to turn half-snake made him cold-blooded as well.

Dolos wrapped his arms around himself, giving himself a small hug and warmth as he curled up in the recliner. Roman would probably tease him on how he can fit so perfectly wrapped in a ball on a chair. This caused him to accidentally drop one of his legs which he didn’t have the reaction time to pull up again. His foot hit the floor and Dolos hissed in pain, attempting not to wake anyone up.

“Well, this is going perfectly.” He muttered to himself angrily, slowly falling off of the chair and slumping to the ground. “Just absolutely splendid. No setbacks at all.”

“Saying synonyms to what you want to believe is true probably isn’t going to work, babe.” Dolos turned around and saw Remy, coffee and all. It’s like he couldn’t be seen without caffeine. He let an exaggerated sigh after taking in the fake that another person was awake, especially that person being Remy. He rolled his eyes in response. “Gurl, calm down, this is my house after all. Strange how I come here sometimes.”

He didn’t bother to respond verbally and slid slowly off of the chair onto the ground so Dolos wouldn’t have to look at his face. It was a bit childish but he was too sleep-deprived to care about that much. He just wanted to hug his boyfriend and let him know that he was alright. Hopefully, he wasn’t doing anything stupid… Ugh, the sooner he helped this ragtag team overthrow the king, the earlier he could get a new home with Roman. If it took actually cooperating with people, maybe the snake would consider it. He let out another sigh and stood up.

“So, what can I do to help your side of the rebellion?”

“About fucking time you gave some enthusiasm.”

-

Thomas tucked his pocket watch back into his jacket for about the fifth time before the queen came in. He was incredibly nervous because he had to actually talk to his father and without Joan around, he didn’t want to mess up and put anyone in jeopardy. Unfortunately for him, his mother had the pleasure of telling him that his father was too busy. Because of course, why would anyone want time with their son? He wasn’t salty at all thanks for asking.

With a sigh, Thomas decided that he was definitely sneaking out again to see Remy and hear about the plans. The more his father ignored him, the more he wanted to rebel. So, once night fell, he put on his cloak and peasant clothing to walk into the streets. It was nightfall at this point and he blended into the point he felt like he let out a breath he seemed to have held for an entire day. Even with being a prince, he never really thinks of himself as one. Yes, he’s grateful for his privilege but he tried not to expect everyone to treat him with that privilege.

It was a hazy afternoon and he opened the door, closing it behind him swiftly. The door closed louder than he thought it would and he heard a loud thud along with a long string of swears. It wasn’t a voice he recognized so he decided to assume it was that Deceit fellow. Even so, Thomas placed his hand on the hilt of his dagger and slowly walked to the living room to see a person on the floor, clutching their feet.

“Are you okay?”

“Perfectly peachy, this definitely isn’t the second time this happened to me today.” Ah, this person can possibly be a threat then. Too clumsy to be an actual criminal. “So are you that prince dude the coffee addicted bitch won’t stop talking about?”

Thomas shook his head. “First of all, no swearing. Second of all, yes, I think?”

“Of course. At least I know that you’re sort of trustworthy.” The man said, standing up and avoiding wincing. Thomas came to the realization that this was supposedly the masterful witch that could destroy the king? Hmmm, okayyy. “Anyways, dipstick, I heard the plan. It might suck ass but I think with a couple of knuckleheads like you, y’all have a chance.”

Without even digesting the sentence, one thing came to the prince’s mind. “Y’all? I have no idea what you’re saying to me.”

Deceit laughed and punched his shoulder, causing Thomas to grab it and yelp in alarm. He was just met with another snicker, which turned grim. “Look, sorry for punching your fragile noodle arms, but you need a better plan with more or fewer people. At this stage of planning, Y’ALL won’t be able to overthrow the king. I know Remy doesn’t want me to change the outline and I respect that, but sometimes force is a dumb fucking thing to do. Since you’re dating him or whatever, and probably smarter let’s be real, you need to tell him! We aren’t going to be able to go at night with clanky weapons and shit like that! You need a more cohesive plan!”

“Well, shit,” Thomas breathed.

“Swearing,” Deceit tutted with a smirk.

Thomas punched him, similar to how he was hit just earlier. Deceit fell from his force, accidentally setting his hair on fire. Both of them stared at each other for a moment. Neither of them noticed Remy had showed up until he poured his coffee on top of the fire. The two standing helped him stand up, as he was too shocked to react. He looked at his hands, managing to make a flame grow above his finger. Deceit blew it out and made eye contact with Remy.

“I think I’m actually a fucking witch then.” He looked up, imagining how Roman would react to this. “Well, that makes a lot more sense than being a pyromaniac as a child… Huh…”

-

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK! Roman stared at his broken sword. He was supposed to be the knight in shining armor for his love, not breaking the one thing he knew how to use properly. Hell, he couldn’t hold a bow right. This was his favorite sword too. He dropped his head on the horse's neck and sighed. Roman thought himself as an idiot at this moment.

“Yep, that sword looks done for.” Patton declared, patting Roman’s back in sympathy.

“Thanks, Patton,” He replied with a sigh.

“We could always gain possession of another sword. One in better shape.” Logan stated, picking up the pieces and stuffing them into his backpack. They couldn’t leave any traces of themselves behind, even if a broken blade was incredibly useless at the moment. “Furthermore, we have reached our destination. Erytol is two hours and three minutes away if we keep at this current pace without distraction.”

Virgil stretched his back and it cracked loudly. “Since when have we kept from being distracted?” He asked with a chuckle. “Besides, we’re going to have to wait until dark before we should even bother walking in. Even Patton got banned from this city, right?”

Patton nodded while Remus laughed at him. “I think I mentioned something about gay people? Weird because I don’t even have romantic attraction.”

The group sighed at the sound of homophobia. You know the city is bad when even Patton managed to get banned from it. Continuing on, they eventually decided to stop their conversation and travel as promptly as they could. They hid in their average cloaks and prepared for their least favorite city. Erytol. This place was annoying because it had the castle, which meant that more guards and stuff were stationed there. Yet, it was filled with lots of plans to overthrow the king, though a lot of them were never attempted or fell flat. This time it would be better. Because the gays were angry and wanted to fight.

And they were going to beat the shit out of their opponents.

-

When Dolos was a child, around seven years old, he wasn’t allowed outside. He was known as the destructive kid that would be a bad influence on yours. Dolos had once set fire to an entire house and his parents quickly moved away from that town. He wasn’t the son his father or mother could be proud of so he was taken out of the public eye. At least, that’s what he thought for the longest time.

Dolos had grown to despise his parents for being forced to hide. Sure, their intentions seemed good! Their child wouldn’t stop setting fires and at the time he was twelve, this was pushed aside as a wild boy with pyromania. So, he was feared. He had no friends or anything. Eventually, Dolos chilled out and learned to handle things on his own. He bandaged his own wounds and fought his own battles. When he WAS let out, his parents made him wear a hood over his head so the neighbors wouldn’t recognize him. But one day, he met someone that could be considered a friend. Remus.

He was a boy just a year older than himself. An unruly personality. Perhaps one comparable to a wild pyromaniac?

So, a friend! A friend that was a twin that could also be a friend! But, Dolos wasn’t supposed to be outside or talk to others. But… he finally had friends… Doesn’t that mean something? His parents should at least respect that, right? They didn’t. He was told to remain quiet and go home immediately. As Dolos was walking away in shame, he turned and saw confusion and hurt in Remus’s eyes. He softened and fought against his want to cry. If he wasn’t allowed to be friends, he would just have to break the rules.

Roman and Remus were kind. They didn’t ask questions when Dolos knocked on their window at one AM. Perhaps they were too tired or suspected something about his family life. Dolos had run away at age fourteen. He lived with Remus and Roman at their orphanage. It was a refuge for him. He was able to talk to other children and have friends! But not all were ups. The food was horrible and most of the kids were even worse. Dolos would go into his shared bedroom with bruises he would treat himself after treating Remus. Roman was the only one who evaded bullying, by appearing so confident, no one dared to mess with him.

No matter how strong the three got, it was agreed to run away after a year. They ended up in Klanbou, the self-declared “most dangerous city in the continent!” by its citizens. That’s when the three worked together smuggling pixie dust through cities, Remus and Dolos also taking up part-time assassins. They all took up code names to remain secret and eventually met a young man named Virgil under extremely unlucky circumstances. Dolos never mentioned his pyromania to anyone and always kept some form of water on him at all times. Not to keep him hydrated, but to hope it would all stop. Eventually, at least. He never considered himself to be a witch, he didn’t realize the qualifications of magic at the time.

At least, until he had turned 22, and encountered a drunk wizard when he was in the middle of working out his plan for a random politician. The wizard was attempting to flirt with Dolos and as he told him kindly to “Fuck off” and to leave him alone… The wizard got upset. And slapped him.

Dolos stood up to yell at the wizard only to find the left of his face in excruciating pain. He had fallen to the floor, feeling cold hard scales sprouting off his face. The wizard gave him one last kick before leaving the bar. Roman ran after him, leaving Dolos alone. And as he was, he heard the earl of the town ban him publicly. In front of almost the whole contents of Klanbou, the city of criminals. People yelled and called him a witch.

As he was about to be chased out, his eyes darken. “I’ll give you witch,” he hissed, touching the building. The pyromaniac tendencies must’ve kicked in because Dolos created fire without knowing how, and walked out with Roman helping to carry Dolos’s weight. If Klanbou wouldn’t hold them, they might as well give them a legitimate reason not to. And burning the bar seemed appropriate at the time. Though, this meant the two would need somewhere new to live, and a cottage in the woods sounded pretty nice.

taglist:  @azure-shard @bookwyrminspiration @snakeboicouldbegayer

[ayankun]

Pseudo-liveblogged reactions to Amazon's Cinderella

I'm not super savvy on modern music, so it took me into the second song to realize that this is a pop opera rather than an original musical.

There are pros and cons to pasting pre-existing songs into your narrative and we will unfortunately not be able to get into the pros today.

My newly acquired "5 min rule" would like to have the protagonist's internal conflict presented to the audience within the first five minutes of runtime. Couple that with Howard Ashman's "I Want" song and you'd kind of expect your protagonist to sing a lil something about what their story is up front. The only character so far to express anything of the sort is Idina Menzel's character.

If this wasn't a well-known fairy tale, I'd have to assume, after the first five minutes, that the evil stepmother is the main protagonist.

They didn't source a song that gives Cinderella a clear objective! They gave her one that describes her ... outlook on life. But we don't know the context for that outlook (I mean, we do, but this movie chose not to tell us, we already happened to know)

We meet her in her basement workshop, which she leaves immediately and starts doing kitchen things, so it's like, we Do Not Know her relationship to the workshop vice her relationship to the kitchen; no effort was made to show one as a joy and one as a burden. Maybe she loves both. Maybe she hates both, and that's why she's singing about having a good attitude (still no answer why love saving the day is relevant in the slightest)

Okay this new character showed up and she asked about his cane and I literally had not seen the cane on screen. It's a visual medium, you gotta show us the important stuff oh my god.

Ok, 8 min in, best I can tell, the conflict is that Cinderella needs to find financial stability because stepmom wants her gone and also her only viable options are getting married off. So stepmom's goal is to marry her off -- I'm wildly confused bc of the conflict I KNOW this story is about; why wouldn't she be invited to the ball if stepmom could get rid of her that way?? I have to guess that she wants the princey income going to one of her own daughters, in which case, her conflict is NOT that she wants to marry Cinderella off!!!!!

Geez, okay, I Do Not Know if these are original songs or not. Cinderella just sang about being famous, and the visuals implied that she wants to do sewing good.

OKAY????? The prince is just an obnoxious frat boy. Guessing that Cinderella either "I can fix him"s or else just absolutely just becomes a fashion designer and doesn't end up with the prince because Feminism.

Okay so Cinderella is super expected to go to the thing, no issues. The ISSUE IS OMG LOLOLOL THAT THE STEPMOM DOESN'T WANT CINDERELLA PARTICIPATING IN THE BLASPHEMY OF FEMALE BUSINESS OWNERSHIP?!?!?!?! (She needs to go to the thing, but she can't wear her self-designed dress for the hype ok sure)

Ok the Queen is my jam

He said "you can't control me" but I heard "you can't troll me"

Oh-hohoho so there's a suddenly Prince's Sister who is competent and will ultimately win the throne bc her brother's useless. So now I'm guessing that the prince is a super red herring who's just wasting screentime.

He's now singing Queen, which is slightly hilarious

(He wants to marry for love, I think. He doesn't want a political marriage. He still doesn't seem suitable for Cinderella, bit she did sing about love earlier so. Maybe they go into business together.)

It's trying to be campy but I'm not feeling it. The camp isn't baked-in.

Also this wasn't the ball. It's still to come. Prince is now leaning into the ball idea as a means of getting to meet specifically Cinderella. Bro she got other priorities.

Ok now prince is pulling a princess jasmine to walk amongst the commoners -- sorry hold on, they hecked up the eyelines SO BAD in this scene. Camera needs to stay on the same side of the two characters OMG textbook basics

So one of the stepsisters has now also expressed an interest in marrying for love. Oh PLEASE can she end up with the prince??? The narrator called her "cray," though, and the prince just had a poorly-blocked conversation about how he isn't into someone with too many bats in the belfry.

OOF the blocking is so bad. First time director?

Sidenote: there IS original music, and it's pretty good. They shoulda gone all out and avoided the misstep of weirdly forced musical numbers.

Ok, act 2 is about getting ready for the ball. How are they gonna pad this? Midpoint is she has her dreams dashed and has to do fairy godmother plan B? Or is that low point and the ball is in Act 3?

Montage of all kind of characters singing about where they are going into Act 2 but it's incomprehensible bc they're just using some pop song that doesn't say anything!!!!!!!!!

Oh. Hm. Mr. McCane is the conflict. That's tidy enough. Cinderella can't go to ball bc she's suddenly been match-maked. (And her fancy dress was ruined for good measure). So this is the midpoint lololol and getting ready for the ball was just the one montage rather than an entire act.

Lol so the fairy godmother is just a caterpillar/butterfly that she saved and there's ZERO reason why he's also magic.

We're on our third musical number in like 10 minutes, they're really pumping em in

I just shouted NO about the bad blocking. 180-degree rule!!!! It's non-negotiable!!!!!!!!!!

Have to say it, there is probably DEFINITELY an audience for this tho

So the second half of act 2 is the ball. Low point will be the midnight time limit on the magic?

Oh shoot I forgot about leaving the glass shoe behind and that whole search shenanigans. That's probably act 3 eh

Ohhhhh geez okay okay now she's met a queen and has to go meet her tomorrow so she can live her fashion designing dreams. But now she has to choose between prince and dreams? She takes prince with her on queen journey, leaving prince sister behind to rule? That'd be fine

Oh I forgot about Mr. McCane conflict. I don't know what she wants so I don't know what existing conflicts matter. She can't get locked in a closet and not be able to try on glass shoe, because she only has until 4PM tomorrow to go on queen journey; Mr. McCane thinks he's going to marry her; the magic ends at midnight but the prince already knows what she looks like and who she really is; the stepmom might find out that she's gone to the ball after all, but she's the prince's favorite so what can stepmom really do??????????

It's very messy

These over the shoulder shots are so awkward, the subject is always smack-dab in the middle of the frame, slightly obscured by the other party and the other half of the frame just totally empty I hate it a lot

Gonna guess this is 1.19:1 aspect ratio, which is ultra wide. Whyyy waste all that lateral real estate???

You can tell this was made for theaters rather than home viewing, though; after watching Zombies 2 a couple more times, I've noticed how the made-for-tv up-close framing isn't really the right way to use that ratio; the faces are way close and we don't get a lot of body shots. Not a problem here, though.

Ok it's midnight and she's fleeing, but other than the fairy godmother saying "RUN," there isn't really a good narrative reason for why she had to flee. Yeah she's unglamored and herself again, but SO WHAT.

Pierce Brosnan and Minnie Driver are killing it tho

Ok so her choice IS still between prince marriage and queen journey. McCane proposal red herring?????

There are NO STAKES to the stepmom doing anything villainous at this point? She wouldn't and she won't? And now she gets a tragic backstory? Idk idk idk bro

GOD the blocking is SO OFFENSIVE TO MY SENSIBILITIES

ohh hmm! Stepmom wants her to do the prince marriage, out of an honest desire for Cinderella to live the best life available to her (and to support the stepfamily)

So Cinderella has chosen queen journey and stepmom is like okay I'm selling you to Mr. McCane. But is Cinderella locked in the basement? She can't just ... go on queen journey?

WHAT ABOUT SHOEVENTURE PLOT?????

LOL STEPMOM ANGRY PIANO SOLO KILL IT IDINA

Please stop framing every face in the center of the shot. Please. I'm f*cking begging you

Ok shoeventure is about to start; it's a narrative piece belonging to the KING'S REDEMPTION ARC AND HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH CINDERELLA'S STORY LOLOL

I MEAN THO. THE SHOE IS SOOOO UNIMPORTANT???? HE LITERALLY KNOWS HER FACE, IT DOES NOT FREAKING MATTER WHO SPECIFICALLY CURRENTLY POSSESSES THE OTHER SHOE

LOL ALSO I FORGOT-- LITERALLY FORGOT-- THAT HER NAME IS ELLA NOT CINDERELLA

So they're not going to tackle the whole thing where the queen journey queen doesn't care that Ella's has a different fave today from yesterday?

Ok and the queen is leaving on her journey an hour after she was to meet with Ella, so Ella's going to go with her but first she's going to the castle and be present at a whole royal event, and probably a musical number and then make it back to the docks in time? Sure ok.

Ye here's the number. Has 0% relevance to either the current events or any thing that's happened in this movie

Oh I have no comment on the dances, I haven't been compelled enough to really pay attention to any

Nice that she gets a lil moment of connection w/ stepmom. Don't know if it was earned, but it was sweet

Love will save the day reprise :| I mean ... I guess if he weren't out looking for her, she would have missed her appointment probably ... otherwise.........

Ok, it was fine/ not for me, peace out lololololol

EDIT: I quoted the aspect ratio as 1.19:1 but since I'm not good with numbers that's totally wrong. (I think that's the almost-square ratio that The Lighthouse used.) I just checked and both Cinderella and ZOMBIES 2 are 2.39:1, so at least I was correct in identifying that they were the same.

Also, looked up Kay Cannon and was unfortunately also correct in assuming she was a new director. Thinking on it now, it feels like maybe it wasn't storyboarding and/or shooting each scene was a process of "Let's just get coverage so we have options in post." There's just a real lack of not just intent behind shot composition and reason for cutting and the specific shot cut to, but mostly coherence; scenes are stitched together like Frankenstein's monster, I felt a visceral uncanny valley discomfort while watching.

I feel bad, no one felt they could point this out to her, either in pre-production or on set?? Unless she was surrounded by equally green staff, or yes-men who didn't really care about the end product that was going to have their names attached to it.

[krat395]

DEFINITELY WORTH IT!!! (Chapter 1)

This story takes place two weeks after “WORTH IT!!!” and as you can probably tell, it is the sequel. I decided to do something a bit darker this time around. WARNING: This is a tickle fic and it has been labeled “mature" due to a large usage of profanity, but also because of foot fetish and intense tickle torture. So in other words, read at your own risk. Anyway, this is Chapter 1 of a 3-chapter story. Hopefully you guys will enjoy it. Undertale © Toby Fox

**********************************************

A few quick headcanons for M.K. (Monster Kid):

11 years old

doesn’t wear shoes

has sharp toe claws 

Closest representation I could find as to how I picture him: Click here for picture  

And for those of you that don’t know, he has robot arms in my stories.

********************************************** 

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

********************************************** DEFINITELY WORTH IT!!! Chapter 1: A Both Fortunate and Unfortunate Accident

It is a Thursday at Alphys and Undyne’s house. Yesterday, Alphys left to visit her friends, Bratty and Catty, and won’t be back until later this afternoon. Undyne is currently at the house and can’t wait until Alphys gets home. Undyne wants to surprise her girlfriend by cleaning the entire house and she has been cleaning since 10am this morning. She washed the dishes, did the laundry, vacuumed, and dusted, as well as many other nice things.

It is now 2:30pm and there is one room that still needs cleaning, their bedroom. Undyne then spent the next thirty minutes cleaning the bedroom. After thirty minutes, there was one last area left to clean, and that area was under the bed. Undyne and Alphys have a fold out queen-sized bed, so she folded it up and got down on her hands and knees to clean the floor. Undyne got as close as she could to the wall and when she was nearly finished, the bed somehow unfolded and fell down on top of her. Undyne tried to get away as quickly as she could, but the bed came down too fast and she wound up getting trapped under the bed. Undyne was lying on her stomach and had her feet sticking out at the foot of the bed. Undyne is not being crushed, but she is completely unable to move her legs and torso and is in absolutely no position to push the bed up off of her. Her physical strength is not enough to help her this time around and all she can do is wait until someone shows up to help her get out from under the bed.

It wasn’t too long until M.K. (Monster Kid) stopped by for a visit. He has just finished school and wanted to see Undyne and Alphys since he hasn’t seen them all week. Yesterday, he had a day off from school, so he had a fun-filled day with Papyrus to celebrate his day off. M.K. is a student at Toriel’s school just like Frisk, Chara, and Asriel and every single student at the school is given a day off every other Wednesday. The reason for this is because Toriel believes students deserve a break every once in a while, and having no school every other Wednesday is her way of showing that. She even starts school late on the Mondays during the weeks where the students don’t have Wednesday off. M.K. then entered the house using the key that Undyne and Alphys gave him only to find that the two girls weren’t in plain sight. Undyne is currently trapped under her bed and M.K. doesn’t know that Alphys is currently with Bratty and Catty.

M.K.: Yo! Anyone home!? Undyne? Alphys?

Undyne heard M.K. downstairs and immediately yelled for help.

Undyne: I’m up here! Help!

M.K. then ran upstairs to see why Undyne was yelling for help and noticed that she was under the bed.

M.K.: Undyne! Undyne: M.K.! Thank goodness! M.K.: What are you doing under the bed Undyne? Undyne: I was cleaning and for some god forsaken reason the bed fell down on top of me! I’m not getting crushed or anything but I’m stuck and I’m in absolutely no position to push the bed up and off of me! M.K.: So wait! You’re saying that you’re trapped under the bed? Undyne: Yes! M.K.: You can’t get out at all? Undyne: No! M.K.: Are you sure? Undyne: Just get me out, ok! M.K.: I don’t know. You sure got yourself into a sticky situation Undyne. It would be a shame if I couldn’t use this to my advantage. Undyne: Wait! What do you mean by that!? M.K.: … Undyne: M.K.!

M.K. noticed that Undyne’s feet were sticking out under the bed. Two weeks ago, M.K. was mercilessly tickled by Undyne after he tickled her while she was sleeping. Now with Undyne trapped under the bed, this is the perfect opportunity for M.K. to get his revenge. M.K. grabbed a pillow of off the bed and placed Undyne’s feet on the pillow. Undyne tried kicking as much as she could, but she still couldn’t move her legs or torso at all.

Undyne: M.K.! What are you doing? M.K.: You’ll see. *removes Undyne’s boots revealing her bare feet* Undyne: Hey! Don’t take my boots off! Wait! You better not be doing what I think you’re gonna do! M.K.: Payback time Undyne! *rapidly tickles Undyne’s feet* Undyne: NAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! M.K.: That’s right Undyne! I can tickle your gorgeous feet all I want and there’s nothing you can do about it! Undyne: (What did he just say about my feet!? Does he… like my feet!?) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

Undyne went completely nuts the moment M.K. started tickling her feet. Her feet are extremely ticklish and M.K. is having a blast tickling them. He was hoping to get revenge on Undyne for tickling the crap out of him two weeks ago and now was his chance. M.K. just loves hearing Undyne’s laughter and she is completely helpless. After rapidly tickling her soles for two minutes, M.K. decided to give her a breather, but only so he could grab a few things before tickling her again.

Undyne: *breathing heavily* WHAT THE HELL PUNK?! M.K.: What’s the matter? Big tough fish girl can’t handle a few tickles? Undyne: IT TICKLES SO BAD! MY FEET ARE INSANELY TICKLISH! M.K.: Not so tough now huh Undyne!? Undyne: WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE, YOU ARE SO DEAD!! M.K.: You just stay right here Undyne! I’ll be right back! Undyne: WAIT! WHERE ARE GOING!? M.K.: … Undyne: M.K.!

M.K. then scrounged all over the house looking for several utensils he could use to tickle Undyne’s feet. M.K. has a general idea of what to use since he practices tickling his own feet with various objects whenever he’s alone. After five minutes, M.K. returned with numerous utensils.

Undyne: M.K.! What did you just do? M.K.: You’re about to find out. *uses a feather to tickle in between Undyne’s toes on her left foot* Undyne: Hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahaa! Is thahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahat a feheheheheheheheheheheheather?! M.K.: Why yes Undyne, it is! Undyne: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaaha!

M.K. loved Undyne’s reaction when he used the feather. He couldn’t believe that sticking a feather in between her toes was enough to drive her crazy with laughter. M.K. can’t even imagine what tickling her feet with other objects will be like and is even more anxious to find out. After one minute, he used the feather to tickle her right foot, once again getting in between each one of her toes.

Undyne: Hahahhaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahaaahhahahahahahahahaahaha! M.K.: Your feet are so gorgeous and your laughter is hilarious! Undyne: (Oh my god! He does like my feet! What a little pervert!) Hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha! M.K.: Coochie coochie coo! Undyne: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha!! M.K.: Time to take things up a notch! *tickles Undyne’s feet with hairbrushes* Undyne: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAH AAAAHAHAAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHH AHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHHAHAHAAAAAAHHAAHHAHAHHAAHAAAHHAHAAHAAHHAHA!!!!!!

Undyne shrieked with so much frantic and hysterical laughter once M.K. tickled her feet with the hairbrushes. He scrubbed all over her soles and eventually noticed that she snorts every time he tickles her arches. He got even more excited when he made Undyne snort, so he then decided to focus entirely on scrubbing her ultra-sensitive arches.

Undyne: NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAAHHAAHHAT *SNORT* MHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHY *SNORT* AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHARCHES!!!! *SNORT* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAH AHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!! *SNORT* HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHH!!!! *SNORT* AHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHH!!!! M.K.: Why not?! It seems like a great spot to tickle you! I’m making you snort! This is so much fun!

Undyne’s face was bright red and she tried really hard to push the bed up and off of her but to no avail. Undyne has never laughed this much or this hard and she is PISSED OFF at M.K. For his sake, he better hope that she doesn’t get out of there. M.K. stopped again after tickling Undyne’s feet with feathers and hairbrushes for five minutes.

M.K.: I am having the greatest time! Undyne: YOU ARE SUCH A LITTLE SHIT!! DID ANYONE EVER TELL YOU THAT!! M.K.: Yeah, my sister calls me that ALL THE TIME! Undyne: WELL SHE’S RIGHT! NOT ONLY ARE YOU A LITTLE SHIT, YOU’RE A LITTLE PERVERT!! M.K.: Careful Undyne! Remember, you’re the one trapped under the bed! If you keep swearing and calling me names, I won’t let you out and I’ll just tickle you longer! Hehehe. Undyne: OK! I’M SORRY! YOU ARE AN ANGEL! YOU’RE THE NICEST BOY EVER… NOT!!! M.K.: Come on Undyne! Say it like you mean it! UNDYNE: GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW YOU LITTLE FUCKING DUMBASS PIECE OF SHIT!!! I’M SO GONNA KILL YOU!!! M.K.: Ooh, you’re gonna wish you didn’t say that! Hehehehe. *rapidly tickles her arches with his fingers for two minutes* Undyne: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA *SNORT* HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAAAHA!!! *SNORT* OK HAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHHAAA I’M *SNORT* HAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SOHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHRRY!!! *SNORT* HAAHHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAAHAHHAHAHA!!!! *SNORT* M.K.: See Undyne, you can be nice if you really try! *stops tickling her feet* Undyne: THERE I APOLOGIZED!! NOW GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!! M.K.: Undyne! What did I say about swearing?! Undyne: OH COME ON!! WHAT MORE DO YOU WAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHANT!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHHAHAH HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH AHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAH AHAHAHAHHAHHHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!!!!!!

Undyne’s sentence was cut short when M.K. did something that made her SCREAM with lots and lots and lots of boisterous and hysterical laughter. She was completely shocked by what M.K. did to make her laugh like that. HE’S LICKING HER FEET! M.K.’s tongue is very rough, which means that it tickles immensely. His tongue tickled more than the hairbrushes! M.K. doesn’t even know what came over him to do something like this. He’s discovering more and more about his foot fetish and he licked Undyne’s left foot with long licks all the way from her ball to her heel. It drove Undyne insane and her eyes were extremely watery.

Undyne: (I cannot believe this kid is licking my feet! Why does his tongue tickle SO FUCKING MUCH?!) HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHHAHAHHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! M.K.: *licking Undyne’s feet* (Why on earth am I doing this?! I honestly have no idea why I’m doing this?! Something deep down in my mind just told me to! And it’s… oddly satisfying!)

After one minute, M.K. switched over to Undyne’s right foot and licked it all the way from her ball to her heel just as he did to her left foot and Undyne screamed and shrieked with more boisterous and hysterical laughter. Up until now, M.K. never knew that his tongue could tickle others THAT much! Then again, Undyne has UNGODLY TICKLISH FEET!

Undyne: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAAHAHHAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAAHAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!! (I just can’t stop laughing! It tickles so much! Why are my feet so fucking ticklish?! This is so humiliating!)

M.K. made sure to cover every inch of Undyne’s soles. After another minute, he took licking her feet a step further… by licking her toes!

Undyne: OHOOHHOHOOHOHOOHHO MY GAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAD!!!!!!!!! NOHOHHOHOOHHOHOHHOHHOT MY TOHOHOHHOOHOHOOHOHOHOOHOHOHHOES!!!!!!!!! EHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEHEEW!!!!!!!!! EHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEW!!!!!!!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

Undyne is really beginning to believe that M.K. might have a serious problem. He licked every inch of her toes for two whole minutes. He drove Undyne completely crazy when he stuck his tongue in between her toes and she found the entire ordeal quite disturbing. She could not believe someone had to guts to lick her feet like that and she is FURIOUS! M.K. has really gained some confidence with this experience so far. For the first time, he was in control, and he loved it. M.K. is normally one of the nicest kids you’ll ever meet. But in this current situation, he’s being very mischievous and he can’t help himself. But seriously, who can blame him? He’s living the dream of pretty much every boy with a foot fetish.

 M.K.: *stops licking Unydne’s toes* Undyne: *breathing very heavily* OK M.K.! I’M SORRY!! PLEASE JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE!! M.K.: I don’t know Undyne. I don’t want to let you out if you keep yelling at me! Undyne: IT’S MY FUCKING HOUSE! I CAN YELL WHENEVER THE FUCK I WANT! AND I TAKE BACK MY APOLOGY YOU SICK LITTLE PERVERT!! M.K.: I’m NOT gonna let you out until you calm down! Undyne: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!! M.K.: I’m afraid not! Hehehehe. *Turns on electric toothbrush* Undyne: IS THAT AN ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH!!! THAT BETTER NOT BE AN ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH!!! M.K.: Hehehehe! *tickles Undyne’s left foot with the toothbrush* Undyne: OHOOHOHOHOHOOHOOHO MY GAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAAHAAD IT IS!!!!! HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAAHAH!!!!! OHOHOHOHOOHOHOHOHHOOHO GAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAAHAAD IT TIHIHIHIHIHIHHIHIHIHIHHIHHCKLES!!!!! HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!! M.K.: Now this is awesome!!

M.K. is having the time of his life. He just thinks it’s awesome how a strong, tough girl like Undyne can be taken down a few pegs with some tickles. He was looking forward to tickling her feet with electric toothbrushes. M.K. once used them to tickle Asriel and he thought using them to tickle Undyne was even better. After one minute, he switched over to Undyne’s right foot.

Undyne: HAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA AAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! M.K.: Brush those feet clean! Brush, brush, brush! Hahahaha! Undyne: OHOHOHOOHOOHOHHOHHOOHOHHOOHOHOOHOHOHHO MAHAHHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAN!!!!! HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHA!!!!!

Undyne is not even sure if M.K. is even planning on getting her out! She really doesn’t like being under the bed any longer than she has to be.

M.K.: *stops tickling Undyne* I could do this all day Undyne! Undyne: Ok you little shit. You got your revenge. I know that you went through a lot two weeks ago. I realize what I did to you was wrong and that I shouldn’t have done it in the first place. Now if you would be ever so kind, I’d rather not spend all afternoon… TRAPPED UNDER THIS FUCKING BED!!!

Undyne has so many anger issues that she started swearing and calling M.K. names again, which is something he told her not to do.

M.K.: Undyne! You did all that stuff I told you not to do! To think I was gonna let you out in just two more minutes! Now I’m just gonna have to tickle your feet even longer! It pains me to torture such wonderful feet like yours! Oh wait… it doesn’t! I’m having a wonderful time tickling your feet! They’re… so… gorgeous!! Undyne: OH MY FUCKING GOD I’M GONNA KILL YOU!!! M.K.: You know what’s worse than one electric toothbrush? …Two electric toothbrushes!! *turns on both toothbrushes* Undyne: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!! *SNORT* AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *SNORT* NOHHOHOHOHOOHHOHOHOOHO MOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOHORE!!!!! *SNORT*

M.K. focused primarily on Undyne’s arches when he tickled both of her feet with the toothbrushes. Undyne laughed, screamed, snorted, and everything in between. She was a laughing mess. Her eyes watered again, she couldn’t call for help, and Alphys was still with Bratty and Catty. SHE WAS SCREWED! M.K. knows that he’s taking this too far and in a weird way, he’s using this to help Undyne control her anger. It’s… definitely a work in progress. One can definitely be fooled since Undyne is laughing like a lunatic. But every time the tickling stops, you can tell she’s PISSED! After two more minutes, M.K. stopped using the brushes and gave Undyne another breather.

M.K.: Alright Undyne. I’ll let you out soon, but I… have some requests. Before I get you out, you have to stop swearing, you have to stop calling me names, and most importantly, you need to calm down. Undyne: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE! M.K.: Congratulations! You just earned yourself three minutes of nonstop tickling! Undyne: GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU LITTLE SON OF A BITCH!!! M.K.: Six minutes it is! Hehehehe. *tickles Undyne’s feet yet again* Undyne: HAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHHAHA!!

M.K. was tickling Undyne’s feet with a paintbrush and fork. He used the paintbrush to tickle her left foot and the fork to tickle her right foot.

Undyne: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAA!! *SNORT* HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHA!! M.K.: What tickles more Undyne, the fork or the paintbrush? Undyne: HAHAHHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAAHA!! M.K.: I’m waiting Undyne! Undyne: HAHAHHAAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! M.K.: I have all afternoon Undyne! Undyne: THHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE FOHOHOOHOHOHOOHHORK!!! THEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHE FOHOOHOHOHOHOOOHOOHOHOHHRK!!! HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAA!! M.K.: Awesome!

After one minute, M.K. began tickling Undyne’s left foot with the fork and her right foot with the paintbrush.

Undyne: HAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! M.K.: Who would’ve thought that a fork would make such an awesome tool for tickling? Not me, that’s for sure! Undyne: (Oh my fucking god I wanna yell at him so badly!) HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAAAAAAHAHHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!

After another minute, M.K. tickled Undyne’s toes with a comb. This caused her to unleash lots and lots of hysterical and frantic laughter, especially when he moved the comb in between each one of her ungodly ticklish toes.

Undyne: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHA!!!!!! NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAT IN BEEHHEHEHETWEEHEHEHEHEHEN MY TOHOHOHHOHHOOHOOHES!!!!!! I HAHAHAHAAHAAHAHHAHATE THE COHOHOHOHHOHOOHOOHOHOMB!!!!!! M.K.: Don’t lie Undyne! You know you love it! Undyne: NOHOHHOHHOOHOOHOHOHOHHHO I DOHOHOHHOOHHOOHOHON’T!!!!!! I REHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEEHEHEHEHALLY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHATE IT!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

After two minutes, M.K. got even more torturous. He once again tickled her arches with the hairbrushes AND licked her toes! He was tickling her worst spots with the hairbrushes and he once again stuck his tongue in between each one of her ungodly ticklish toes, causing Undyne to unleash her loudest laughter yet. Her face got even redder than before, she had lots and lots of tears running down her cheeks, she frantically shook her head, she constantly pounded her fists, and she was vibrating intensely like a Temmie. There was seemingly no end to this merciless torture!

Undyne: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAA HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA!!!!!!!!!! *SNORT* HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!! *SNORT* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHHHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!! *SNORT* NGAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHA HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!! *SNORT* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHHAHAAAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!

M.K. stopped after two minutes and smiled triumphantly. He tickled Undyne’s feet nonstop for six minutes!

M.K.: How did you like that Undyne?

Undyne: …

M.K.: Undyne?

Undyne: …

M.K.: Undyne! Say something!

Undyne: …

M.K.: Oh no! OH GOD NO!

[lovable22]

My All-Inclusive Aaron Tveit Review

Here we go! Aaron Tveit: A Review! 

Paramount- Huntington, NY

The Vets- Providence, RI

TLA- Philadelphia, PA

BONUS* OVERALL BEST PERFORMANCE OF EACH SONG* (I’ll include any adorable stories below under each song individually.)

Thanks for bearing with me everyone! This is a super long post, I am aware of this! Let me know what you think!

*This post has my opinions of the shows. I’ve seen Aaron perform A LOT. They are only my opinions. I’d love to hear you’re comments and talk about the show, but WILL NOT entertain rudeness.*

OVERALL: The show that was 100% the best in my opinion was TLA in Philly. The band was ON POINT and the venue was a little bit smaller which, in my opinion, allowed for a little bit more of an intimate experience. I also think that helped the crowds energy and, in-turn, Aaron’s. (I am not in anyway saying Paramount or The Vets were not amazing, just that Philly was the best of the 3.)

The show at the Paramount had a very high set stage which made the angle, while glorious, slightly straining if you were up close. The acoustics at the Paramount were also a little weird. There were several points in the show where there was almost an echo-y sound. The band (without Music Director extraordinaire Bryan Perri) did not sound great on some of the Broadway tunes. (Sorry, but they didn’t.) There were also some points where the band drowned out Aaron’s amazing vocals.

The show at The Vets was a completely different vibe. It was a stunning venue and had theatre seating, so there was no standing and dancing like the other 2 performances. The band (again, without Bryan at the helm) was slightly better on the Broadway Tunes, but just did not sound as incredible as I know they could have. The acoustics at The Vets were SO MUCH better. The show was a different energy because everyone was seated and, while participated, was nothing like the crowds dancing and singing at the other shows. It was definitely more of a relaxed vibe. Aaron also seemed to “ham it up” a little more too. (Perhaps because he had family in the audience?! Or maybe because it was a little more chill?!) The lighting was also incredible and together with the blue button down he wore for the first part of his set REALLY made his eyes POP. (Yes, they are REALLY THAT BLUE.) Unfortunately, no photos were allowed and I almost saw phones confiscated.

TLA Philly was hands down, top notch. Bryan Perri was back at the keys. Whether or not that was the entirety of it, or if it was that plus Bryan and Aaron’s working relationship, I don’t know, but it made a difference. (Please don’t ever leave us again Bryan!) The acoustics were great and the band was just ON POINT. Both the rock songs and the broadway songs were fantastic. The stage wasn’t as high so much less of a strain if you were closer. Aaron always feeds off the energy of the crowd and it was the better of the 3 shows energy wise. The lighting was kinda sucky though and it was really dark at some points.

For Reference:

Irving Plaza

House of Blues Boston

Bethel Woods

Setlist Breakdown:

Runaways (The Killers):

This song right here is actually one of my favorites! When discussing what changes we’d make to the show (with friends) I kept this in because I LOVE IT. Nothing stood out as my favorite of the 3 nights, I just always love this song and get completely lost in it when he comes out and sings it!

Overall: Nothing will beat the first time I saw him perform anything, but especially this, live at Irving. I also really enjoyed him performing this at Bethel Woods so those are my top 2!

Desert Island Top 5 Break-Ups (High Fidelity)

Best: Paramount I AM SO THRILLED WITH THIS ADDITION TO AARON’S SHOWS! I think this is a GREAT rock/Broadway song and fits SO. WELL! I really like the character Aaron gets into! In order of preference (and believe me, I went back and forth on this one A LOT) Paramount > TLA Philly > The Vets. I loved everything about Paramount, and in my opinion girls sounded best with Aaron and the Band at Paramount. The band was best at TLA Philly but Aaron messed up the words ever so slightly there. I also liked Aaron’s interaction as “Rob” with “Laura” at Paramount best. I also love Aaron’s character of Rob in this song overall! It shows how versatile and amazing his acting really is! (Bonus was we got a small feature of Julia Burrows, one of Aaron’s back up singers on this one!) I find myself playing this one A. LOT. Memorable Moment: After Laura tells Rob to take care of himself in Philly, Aaron looked like an adorable lost puppy and everyone awe’d and it was so cute!

Somebody to Love (Queen)

Best: Paramount (TLA Philly was a close second though.) I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: AARON MURDERED THIS SONG. Like, completely crushed it. One of my all time Aaron Favs. His range and the arrangement that he did with this song was INCREDIBLE. I LOVED the performance at Paramount. The different notes he played with during each “Somebody to Love” melted me. The Vets was amazing but not as incredible as the Paramount in my brain. TLA Philly was a VERY CLOSE SECOND, like almost first, but I keep finding myself going back to that first performance and nothing gives me the kind of reaction like Paramount does.

Pop Medley: Call Me Maybe (Carly Rae Jepsen)/ Confident (Demi Lovato)/ Runaway With Me (Carly Rae Jepsen)/ My Life Would Suck Without You (Kelly Clarkson)/ Nice and Slow (Usher)/ Shake it Off (Taylor Swift)

Best: TLA Philly was definitely probably the closest second to this Aaron’s top performance and my favorite of the 3 shows! He also messed up the lyrics slightly at Paramount and The Vets to Call Me Maybe! Overall: Irving. Hands down. The shock value of the entire thing was perfection. “Omg, is he singing Nice and Slow?! Holy ^]% he IS!”

One Song Glory/Creep (Rent/Radiohead)

One Song Glory:

Best: Definitely Philly, the band and him were on the same wavelength and blew it out of the water. He always has so much emotion in this one that I love it regardless. Memorable Moment: It was also very sweet because Aaron said that Philly was were he got to play the role of Roger and sing this song here so he was able to sing it again.

Overall: Okay, so I’m super spoiled and got to see him perform this IN PERSON at Times Talks with Alex Lacamoire on piano and that stripped down version will always be my favorite.

Creep:

Best:TLA Philly. He always gets into character for this song and it’s always hilarious and amazing. Philly was definitely the best of the 3 shows. Memorable Moment: At the Vets, Aaron put his hands at the top of the mic stand and like rested his head on the mic stand during part of this song and it was adorable.

Overall: Nothing will top the original Creep from Irving. I’ll never forget him getting into character and starring down the audience looking at me and me thinking like omg he’s looking at me but this is so strange. TLA Philly was my second favorite overall.

This Is How Do It (Montell Jordan)

Best: TLA Philly Aaron hit the rap ON POINT and seemed to have the most fun with it at this show. His smile at the end of it when he finished was adorable. Memorable Moments: At Paramount, Aaron didn’t get the rap, he stumbled a bit over it and at the end was like “I’m not a rapper.”, but it was so freaking adorable. At The Vets, Aaron during part of the song, was walking across the front of the stage in front of the mic stand and was walking backwards and bumped into a speaker with his foot and he kinda turned to look at it and then went into a a slow spin like “Oh I meant to do that.” And. It. Was. SMOOTH. Very Broadway of him.

Can’t Make You Love Me/ All I Ask (Bonnie Rait/ Adele)

Best: TLA Philly. If you would’ve asked me before Philly I would’ve said The Vets, because at one point he went lower in the note instead of belting it and it was unexpected and sounded great. But, while the Vets is a super close second of the 3 for that slightly lower note, and nothing beats the tear rolling down his cheek at Irving, TLA Philly was the best of the 3.

Overall: Bethel Woods is still my favorite though. I don’t know why, something about his voice there that I just love, I can’t pin point it either, I’ve tried.

What About Love/I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Heart/Whitney Houston) ft. Alexa Green

Best/Overall: TLA Philly I love this mash up!!! I definitely preferred Alexa Green’s duet better than Carrie Manolakos’ who performed this with him at Irving. I loved Alexa at Boston but she messed up the lyrics at the House of Blues at the beginning of the song. Aaron and Alexa always have fun with this one, I think Philly was probably the best overall, especially considering we couldn’t actually dance at The Vets.

Why God Why (Miss Saigon)

Best: TLA Philly Aaron’s voice on this song is PERFECTION.  I teared up at each show. Philly was the best performance with his voice, the band and his character

Overall: Elsie Fest

In Your Eyes/ Your Eyes (Peter Gabriel/ RENT)

Best: TLA Philly Again, based on the overall performance with the Band and Aaron’s vocals. Memorable Moments: At the Paramount and The Vets though, Aaron expanded on the story he tells before the song and talked about how Dave Pepin, who was playing the keys and leading the band, was the guy that pulled him out of school because he’s the one that got Aaron the Audition for The National Tour of Rent, which he was touring with, so he never got to audition for American Idol.

Overall: HoB Boston- I just love how Aaron acted like he was actually auditioning for American Idol and was like: Simon makes me nervous.

Castle on the Hill (Ed Sheeran)

Best/Overall: The Vets. First reason I’m in LOVE with this addition to the Setlist… it gives Aaron a song in his lower vocal register that we don’t get to hear very often in his Rock Shows. At The Vets, Aaron did this like growl thing during the “When we did not know the answer…” line and it was… wow.  So great.

Memorable Moments: When Aaron introduced the song he talks about how he is still close with his friends from high school and the people he grew up with and how the song reminds him of that… and HOW FREAKING ADORABLE IS THAT?! At the Paramount he mentioned he was actually missing a friend’s wedding that night and then at The Vets the next night he mentioned it again and dedicated it to his friends that were probably hungover! Aaron also got emotional during each performance and I saw tears at Paramount.  

Encore: We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together (Taylor Swift)

Memorable Moments: At the Paramount Aaron went into the spoken part at the end of the song before he went into the “I used to think that we were forever ever.” So he had to add-lib another little spoken part! The band (again, no Bryan) didn’t transition as well into the end of it and he didn’t end up swearing at the end like he usually does. At the Vets, Aaron went into the spoken part after the lyrics correctly, but the band didn’t pick it up right away so it again was a slightly different transition. He was also super close to the front of the stage towards the end getting the crowd to interact! At Philly band was on point and Aaron was on point and it was INCREDIBLE as always! SO FUN!

Please don’t make me pick an OVERALL FAVORITE because I really just love how much fun he always has with this!!

[itsiotrecords-blog]

http://ift.tt/2qTTGk3

We’ve all experienced that awkward moment in life where we’ve tripped up in the street or on a staircase, but there’s one silver lining to every one of those moments – they weren’t viewed by millions of people. Some of us might have been caught stumbling in a Vine video or on a friend’s Snapchat, but unless it went viral, these people won’t have faced any large scale public humiliation. Unfortunately for celebrities, their entire life is in the spotlight and when they trip and stumble in a public place, the world is gonna remember it! The shame of slipping up in public must have been triple for these celebs, but they had no choice but to pretend like nothing happened. It’s no surprise that a lot of these falls happened on stage – which can often be blamed on high heels or a “wardrobe malfunction.” But most of the time, these stars were getting a little too carried away with their performance to watch where they were going and the result is hilarious. Being snapped falling over in the park is one thing, but having an epic tumble on stage means these famous figures had both their actual audience in the crowd and the world audience to contend with. Seriously cringey. We don’t want to trade lives with any of them in this situation. From glam red carpet events to choreography that didn’t quite go as planned, these are the moments celebs wish could be erased from public record. Here are 15 cringe-worthy falls we couldn’t help but laugh at…

#1 Beyonce I love and respect Queen Bee as much as the next person, but her epic fall during a 2007 concert was admittedly quite funny – mostly because it was head first down about 10 steps! Thankfully, Bey wasn’t injured at all so we shouldn’t feel too guilty about finding it funny. The audience could be audibly heard gasping after she hit the floor, but she soon got right back up and slayed with some signature hair-flipping dance moves. After what must have been a hugely cringe-worthy moment for her, Beyonce apparently pleaded with her adoring crowd “Don’t put this on YouTube!” Unfortunately, even Queen Bee can’t hold back the tide when it comes to the Internet and within hours, her epic tumble was plastered over news channels and quickly sparked online parodies. As cringey and painful as it may have looked, nothing fazed Queen Bee – she apparently didn’t even miss a line of the song “Ring The Alarm!”

#2 Katy Perry Cake can figuratively be some people’s downfall (mine included!), but cake literally caused Miss Perry to slip up not once but several times after a rendition of her debut hit “I Kissed a Girl.” Performing at the Latin America MTV Awards back in 2008, Katy P jumped into a massive pink cake on stage as part of her act. Unfortunately, the cake and icing mess made the stage super slippery and it wasn’t long before the singer slipped and struggled, Bambi-like, to get up again. After slipping in the cake, Katy was visibly embarrassed but laughed it off by starting a mini food fight with her guitarist. He helped her up but she went down again (and again). Poor girl. Eventually, Perry just gave up attempting to stand at all and just crawled off the stage on her hands and knees – leaving a trail of pink icing behind her. Not one of her finest moments!

#3 Jennifer Lawrence Picture the scene: your name has just been announced after those amazing words “..and the Oscar goes to…” You can’t believe this moment. This is the day your career and life has been building up to. You make your way nervously and excitedly to the stage to receive this incredible honour in front of all the actors who have inspired you. But as you do, you trip up the stairs with the world and your hero’s watching. Hi ground, please swallow me up. This is what must have been going through poor J-Law’s mind when she tripped up before receiving her Best Actress Oscar in 2013. Jennifer Lawrence was probably wishing she had opted for a short dress instead of the epic Disney princess gown that made her trip up. Luckily, she recovered from it pretty well and even had Hugh Jackman step in to help her off the floor. Of all the moments to lose your footing though – cringetastic.

#4 Iggy Azalea In a not so “Fancy” move, Iggy Azalea slipped up in front of thousands during an MTV performance of her most well-known song, “Fancy.” The blonde Aussie singer was clearly enjoying herself too much and became a little too engrossed in her rapping because she took a few too many steps backward and fell right off the stage! Ouch. That can’t be cool. Amusingly, she could still be heard rapping the lyrics while on the floor and security guards soon stepped in to help her back on stage. A fan in the audience caught the embarrassing moment Iggy disappeared off stage after dancing backwards – you’d think her fans might have warned her to look out for the edge. Azalea must have been riding such a buzz to get totally caught up in her own rap lyrics and underestimate the length of the stage. Maybe stay in one spot next time, Igg!

#5 Madonna Remember when the Queen of Pop had her embarrassing fall from grace at the Brit Awards? It pretty much broke the Internet back in 2015 and countless memes now exist because of it. So what made it so meme-worthy? Let’s refresh. First off, it was Madonna’s first Brit performance in 20 years (unfortunate) and second of all, she fell from a pretty great height…backwards and in heels. Ouchie. Madge was wearing a long cape as part of her dramatic reveal, but she struggled to untie it in time, so when her dancers assumed it was loose, they yanked it and Madonna came tumbling down with it. Apparently, though, this could have all been her own fault. In true diva fashion, Madonna vetoed the original cape design of a hook and went with a tie instead (which she failed to undo with one hand). Never heard of “hoist by your own petard,” Madge?

#6 Michelle Williams Before Beyonce had her epic fall as a solo artist, her bandmate Michelle Williams had a pretty embarrassing slip up of her own. During a BET performance in 2004, the Destiny’s Child ladies were in the middle of dancing to their hit song “Soldier” when Michelle suddenly lost balance and collapsed to the floor. The funniest thing about poor Michelle’s tumble is the reaction from Beyonce and Kelly. They both briefly looked down at Michelle before carrying on as if nothing happened – they didn’t even help the poor girl up! More than a decade later, Michelle’s infamous fall has led some to believe that not all was rosy between the Destiny’s Child girls. (The look Kelly Rowland shot Michelle as she stumbled was pretty shady!). But this was probably just a case of being pros and letting the show go on – even if a member of your group falls embarrassingly hard on live television!

#7 Justin Bieber Of all the celebrity blunders on here, this is the one that I’ll admit taking the most satisfaction out of. Sorry die-hard Beliebers, but who doesn’t enjoy watching this jumped up little A-hole make a fool of himself? I’m only human. In this particularity epic stage tumble, Bieber was performing a duet with Carly Rae Jepsen while on tour in Canada when he took a little trip down the stairs. What’s worse is that the pair could be seen on about three large screens as well, so there was literally nowhere to hide. In what was probably intended as a flawless performance routine, the duo danced at opposite sides of the stage before meeting in the middle and dancing down a central staircase together. Embarrassingly for Bieber (and hilariously for the rest of us), Bieber not only stumbled on the steps but actually slid down a few on his butt. The fall probably hurt his ego more than his backside though. Get out the popcorn when you watch this one.

#8 Naomi Campbell You probably haven’t made it in the modelling world until you’ve had an embarrassing fall on the catwalk. It’s probably a badge of honour. We’re guessing Naomi Campbell didn’t see it this way though. The British supermodel had a spectacularly humiliating fall during a catwalk show in 1993. Campbell was modelling the latest Vivienne Westwood collection in Paris, when her absurdly high heels let her down in the worst way. Poor Naomi started off graceful but ended up looking like Bambi on the ice as she hit the floor. The towering platform heels that caused her cringey blunder have since gone on display in exhibitions in New York and Japan. Alas – thanks to YouTube – Campbell’s epic tumble will forever be on display too. Westwood, who designed the ill-fated shoes, said that “Shoes must have very high heels to put women’s beauty on a pedestal.” Your shoes could have Naomi on a hospital bed!

#9 Drake In a pretty ironic move, Drake took a tumble on stage while he was in the middle of performing his song “Take Care.” Drizzy might have heeded his own advice and taken care before he tumbled backwards halfway through his set! Admirably, he literally took the fall in his stride, since he turned his trip into a backward roll – prompting a lot of cheers from his fans. Leave it to Drake to try and make an embarrassing tumble look as smooth as his voice. In a double dose of irony, the lyric of the song that immediately followed his awkward trip and roll was “You’ve seen all my mistakes.” Yes, Drake – a packed stadium and around half a million YouTube users saw it. It’s a wise dude that learns from his mistakes, though, so hats off to Drizzy for keeping his cool and making the fall look like it was all part of his plan.

#10 Lady Gaga What do you get when you mix sky-high heeled boots with performing on top of a piano? A pretty painful and cringey stage fall is what. When Lady Gaga fell off her piano during a 2011 concert, she never let on how much the fall must have hurt her, but man it had to hurt! While performing her hit “You & I,” Miss Gaga decided it would be a good idea to place one heel on the piano keys and the other on the piano stool – what part of that did she think was a good idea? As expected, Lady G ended up doing the splits for a brief moment before landing in a heap on the floor. Of course – Gaga being Gaga – she tried to work the fall into part of her act and carried on singing underneath the piano. This isn’t the first time the daring singer suffered an embarrassing tumble due to high heels. A year before in 2010, Gaga fell flat on her face at London’s Heathrow Airport thanks to wearing ridiculously steep platform shoes.

#11 Meghan Trainor While dancing to her song “Me Too” on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Meghan Trainor lost her balance in a pair of towering heels right at the end of a pretty epic set. In a delicious slice of irony, her song “Me Too” is all about self-confidence and the fact that, as the lyrics go “If I was you, I’d wanna be me too.” Sorry, Meghan, but not many of us would want to be you in that situation! Just seconds before the song ended, Trainor spun round for one last dance move, when she staggered and took the mic stand down with her. Cringe! Despite ending her sassy song with a pretty uncool and mortifying slip-up, she saw the funny side and so did talk show host Jimmy Fallon. As Meghan remained on the floor laughing it off, Fallon walked over to her and lay down next to her, just to make her feel less of a dork. Nice.

#12 Heidi Klum Not all supermodels fall over on the catwalk, as Heidi Klum proved during the 2008 Emmy’s. The gorgeous blonde model was being carried by co-host Tom Bergeron as part of a skit that went disastrously wrong pretty fast. Klum was pretending to swoon in Bergeron’s arms when he accidentally dropped her hard to the floor. The German beauty took a photo of her leg backstage which showed off a deep purple bruise at the top of her thigh – nasty! Apparently, a lot of the comedy routines that night were fairly unrehearsed and left the audience pretty unimpressed. Still, at least the Emmy’s crowd got to see an epic blunder! As a slender, 5 ft 9 supermodel, Klum doesn’t strike us as particularity heavy. Maybe the organizers could have hired someone a little stronger than Tom Bergeron to carry Klum out onto the stage. Heidi’s butt (and her pride) had to hurt for days afterwards.

#13 Demi Lovato Poor Demi Lovato just can’t catch a break when it comes to stage tumbles. The singer/actress has slipped up quite a few times while performing in recent years, falling over in two separate performances in 2015 alone! The 24-year-old was performing her massive hit “Cool for the Summer” at the Madison Square Garden Jingle Ball back in December 2015 when she tripped on a mic stand and fell flat on her back. She had just completed a 20 minute set of her songs too! Demi’s a class act though. She stayed on the floor and kicked her legs in the air in time to the music as if it was all part of the routine. It’s okay, Demi, we believe you. A few months before this slip, she had another stage dive at a summer pool party. She was dancing on a wet stage to “Cool For The Summer” and (unsurprisingly) slipped and landed pretty hard. Ouch. Maybe the song has some kind of curse attached to it?

#14 U2’s The Edge Living up to his name, U2’s lead guitarist The Edge walked a little too close to the edge of the stage one night and suffered a painful-looking (but pretty funny) fall. During the band’s opening night of their 2015 world tour, The Edge misjudged the actual edge of the stage and stepped off into the void which barely left the guitarist with even a scratch, despite how steep the fall was. In an interview about the blunder, The Edge explains how he lost sight of where the stage “edge” really was “Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the curve of the round and I thought I was already there. I stepped off on what I thought was the stage and I had basically cut the corner.” U2 drummer Larry Mullen joked that it could have been the shortest tour in history if the Edge’s injuries were worse. Lead singer Bono joked that he was looking forward to the idea of “days off.” Harsh!

#15 Rihanna Poor RiRi. This fall wasn’t just a little slip-up – she suffered an epic topple and ended up on her hands and knees! Rihanna had just kick started her Loud tour in 2011 when she took an epic tumble in high heels while dancing on stage. The beauty from Barbados was twerking and rolling her hips along to her hit song “What’s My Name?” when her heels tripped her up and caused her to go flying. Rihanna was dressed in a crop top and hot pants that showed off her gorgeous curvy figure, but there was nothing hot about her stage dive – that had to be super cringey! Luckily, Ri-Ri had a sense of humour about the whole thing and seemed to be laughing it off as she carried on with her dance routine. Falling on your hands and knees is never a good look (especially in front of thousands of fans), but at least she saw the funny side.

Source: TheRichest