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leviiattacks · 4 years ago

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Seven minutes in Heaven with Physics Major Levi

author note :: i lost the ask but anon i do not know what this is. reading it sounded better in my head but physics major levi with reader who likes him is that a good description???? HM ANYWAY enjoy it’s not too great i’ve been revising nonstop for exams but i might as well have finished this off for the anon who requested it :-)

word count :: 2.5k probably... hm who knows maybe 3k

when you and levi become friends it’s definitely unexpected to say the least. everyone is naturally very confused by the peculiar pairing. levi doesn’t really... go out of his way to befriend anyone really??? so for him to approach you in the middle of the library and start talking about how he noticed you shared a class together was out of the ordinary

the flow of the conversation is a little awkward at first, you’re revising for a final exam and don’t really appreciate the disruption but you’re not confident enough to tell him to leave.

at one point an awkward silence drifts between the two of you until he points out you’ve completely RUINED your notes and have been looking over the wrong lectures for the up and coming physics exam

later on into the night levi’s stood sighing next to you. he tells you to take your pick from the pot noodle section — “hey, i know we literally just met but i’m telling you a chicken pot noodle is gonna make you feel better.”

you’re so distraught that he has to pick it up for you and pay

and that is how you and levi become friends !!!

if it’s of any relevance yes you passed the final (all because of levi giving you his organised binder full of notes and telling you to make use of it)

you know it just sorta happens but through all of the all nighters you’ve pulled with levi by your side you become used to his presence nearby. in fact most of the the time it’s difficult to even find you anywhere without him. you’re both practically joined at the hip

levi’s pretty protective of you, hates the whole party scene but is willing to tag along if you’re going. at first you think it’s because he feels more comfortable stepping out of his comfort zone if you’re there with him but his intentions become more evident later on

any time someone makes you uncomfortable he’s by your side, if you happen to get into any sort of trouble he’s the person people call to help you because who else knows you the way levi does?

currently you and levi are at another party, you tend to keep to yourself and only ever talk to your close friends. it’s also not like you to partake in games, you’re far too nervous to play anything like seven minutes in heaven but for some reason you find yourself wanting to take part JUST this once

maybe it’s the fear of never making fun memories to tell your future children about

then again why on earth would you be telling your children about your experience kissing a random man in a closet??

either way, participating shouldn’t hurt!!! you’ve got to loosen up a little!!!

levi’s a little surprised you agree to play nevertheless he still sits next to you, the both of you have your legs crossed on the floor, your knees are touching and you aren’t sure if he feels the same warm sensation that you feel. it bubbles in the pit of your stomach – you feel oddly content

“levi!! anyone you want the bottle to land on ???” hange a mutual friend of yours leans in handing him the glass bottle

levi gives the bottle a disgusted look before his gaze flicks over to you.

“i’m only here because of y/n, i ‘m not playing.”

that doesn’t satisfy hange and they begin to groan complaining that he can’t stay unless he spins the bottle

“look you don’t have to do anything in the closet, okay??” hange’s begging him at this point, he’s still holding up pretty well and for some reason you’re disappointed. it’s almost like you hoped he’d spin the bottle just so it would land on you

levi takes notice of your frown and guesses you want him to be included, he isn’t one for games like these but if it’ll make you happy so be it. there’s still the chance it’ll land on you and his thought process falters for a second.

he thinks he really wouldn’t mind if the bottle landed on you and so he ends up nodding and agreeing to play.

anyway it’s not as if he isn’t guilty of imagining the two of you being a little more than friends

ok wait!!!! it’s completely innocent HE SWEARS!!!!

he’s never told you about it but sometimes he thinks if he was a little more straightforward that day at the library and asked for your number MAYBE just MAYBE his intentions would be clearer and he wouldn’t be stuck in the friend zone for this long

he should’ve used a stupid physics pick up line he knows you love those

something like – “i’m attracted to you more than an electron’s attracted to a proton.”

or maybe — “i’d fall for you even in the absence of gravity”

ok... maybe you wouldn’t have got that one considering you were revising the wrong content and probably forgot about that topic

he can’t imagine himself saying those things but if it would make you finally see him as a potential love interest and not a best friend he wouldn’t mind having to force it out

but still it’s not really a secret that levi has a soft spot for you, literally everyone can see it. when has he ever gone out of his way to save a seat for anyone? when has he ever willingly gone to a party? WHEN has levi actually let someone lay their head on his shoulder??

he only ever let’s you do that stuff

let’s actually discuss the head on his shoulder thing!!!

whenever finals approach you’re always sucked in by huge amounts of work and barely get to sleep, levi’s always hovering over your shoulder reminding you to catch a few hours but of course you don’t listen. you think you’ll be just fine if you rely on an energy drink and two hours of sleep to get by

but levi knows you better than you know yourself. it’s hour seven into the day and you’re already dozing off in your seat. slowly but gradually your head tilts forward. levi’s sitting across you contemplating whether or not he should prop your head back up like a nice friend would or if he should wait for you to smack your forehead right into the solid oak table.

he ends up making his decision last minute, your head flies towards the table and if it were anyone else he’d just let them jolt awake from the harsh impact but it’s you and his body won’t let him ignore you.

on reflex his hand flies out and in the matter of a split second he’s holding your head back. he’s surprised you haven’t woken up and he’s even more surprised he bothered to help you

before that happens levi knows he likes you, he knows he enjoys your company, he’s aware you make him happy but he thinks he’s willing to just be friends with you because clearly you don’t want to pursue anything.

you haven’t even flirted with him before aside from the witty “you remind me of an exothermic reaction” joke that you made one time

oh and there’s also the additional fact that you had a boyfriend up until quite recently so he’s sure you don’t see him romantically

honestly he’s fine with not dating you but something about seeing you overwork yourself like that has him simmering in anger. if he were your boyfriend he would have forced you into bed whether you liked it or not

if he were your boyfriend he’d never break up with you because he “found someone better.” he can’t even manage to imagine anyone better than you.

levi shuffles into the seat next to yours and places your head onto his shoulder. a few students shoot him questioning looks but the deadly glare he sends back is enough to deter them from coming any closer

it’s a little funny actually, by the time you wake up you’re rubbing at your eyes, you don’t even notice how close levi is to you until his hot breath fans across your neck. it seems like he’s dozed off whilst trying to make notes on fluid dynamics

wait

levi. right. next. to. your. neck.

should you move????

no, he might wake up he barely sleeps and you don’t want to mess up his schedule even more

that day you choose to drift off back to sleep as if you never woke up to his breath against your neck.

“OHHHH LEVI LANDED ON Y/N????”

your head shoots up NOW you’ve completely been dragged away from your thoughts.

“lucky for you both. guess you won’t have to do anything and stand there for seven minutes. told ya levi there was nothing to worry about B-)”

hange without warning pulls you both up by your arms, you’ve yet to see levi’s reaction, you’re too stunned to have noticed his slack jaw or wide eyes

“HAVE FUN!”

and with that said and done you and levi are shoved into the cleaning closet

“well, i’m glad it landed on you. i won’t have to do anything.” levi seems happy as can be, you don’t really know why but it stings a little

he doesn’t even seem to stop for a second to wonder if you’d maybe want to do anything

are you just not his type ????

hange once told you levi liked organised people and well,, you’re anything but organised. you’d probably pass out from the work load of your physics lectures if not for levi always helping you out

scowling to yourself you try to ignore just how awkward the situation is until levi plops down on the floor in front of you

“you okay?” he asks looking genuinely concerned

“i- yeah i’m good.”

your eyes dart away trying to look at anything but him. you can’t deny he looks good today, you actually helped him slick his hair back - the entire time he complained about the hair gel feeling weird but he looks great and now you can’t even stare at him for more than a second

“i’m guessing you’d have preferred if the bottle landed on someone else.”

leaning forward without even noticing it you aggressively deny what he says. “NO!!! i like being stuck here with you.”

levi looks stunned by your outburst but nods “oh, did you feel pressured to join the game? we can leave if you want—”

“no, no i– you aren’t– oh god i mean, look. i can explain– do i need to explain???”

completely choking up in front of him and sputtering before slamming your lips shut and saying absolutely nothing is probably one of the most awkward things you’ve done in your ENTIRE existence

levi reaches out for your knee, something that’s usually seen as him being friendly only feels intimate tonight. his thumb strokes comforting circles into your skin. the situation doesn’t make it any better, essentially you’re meant to be making out with him right now

“is something bothering you?”

there it is again. that look. he only seems more concerned than before and you hate yourself for not even thinking about your friendship before you open your mouth.

“do you not want to kiss me because we’re best friends or is it something else?”

there it is. you’ve said it.

you see levi’s face contort from a mix of confusion to what looks like disgust then shock. screwing your eyes shut you know you’ve ruined everything now. he’s never going to speak to you, never going to approach you again. you’re mentally preparing for him to ditch you at this party right here right now

but then you notice his hand still steadily placed on your knee, he’s now stopped with the circles, his grip is bruising

“do you want me to kiss you?”

his question isn’t really expected, it helps you find the courage to look your best friend in the eye.

it’s pretty dark but you can still make out the familiar shadows of his face. the butterflies rush up from your stomach all the way to your throat.

mild regret fills you, usually his curtains obscure his piercing gaze but the way you’ve styled his hair gives him a better view of you, there’s nowhere for you to hide

not even stopping to think about the possibility of him teasing you right now, all you care about is telling him the truth. you’ve come all the way here you may as well finish off what you’ve started

“would you be mad if i said i’d like it if you did?”

levi doesn’t need any more confirmation than that, he swoops in yanking you by your waist. his knees are still pressed against the floor and so you find yourself leaning down into his mouth and craning your neck downwards

his chest is completely pressed against yours. the drumming of your heart is so loud you feel self conscious but levi’s soft lips moving against yours distract you from that

not even ten seconds in and you feel out of breathe but not in an overwhelming way. levi’s pace isn’t at all what you imagined it to be like. he’s soft and slow yet calloused and rough around the edges, some how he still manages to make the kiss sweet

his left hand leisurely travels to the small of your back, the other hand now caresses your cheek. his fingertips are anything but soft but the way he handles you is tender and endearingly delicate.

you smile into the kiss and almost instantly levi’s lips tug upwards too. his take on seven minutes in heaven is quite easily the most romantic thing you’ve been subjected to. instead of a passionate make out you’ve been given a honeyed introduction to a new side of him

the kiss ends much quicker than you anticipate, you open your mouth to whine and convince levi that the two of you should still have a solid minute left before hange returns but he presses his index finger against your lips

“later. i promise.” his voice is heavy and if his blushed cheeks are anything to go by he’s thoroughly enjoyed your session together

at his reassurance you comply and take the time to have a better look at him

his lips are wet – some of your lip gloss has clearly stuck to him. his hair isn’t as well styled as it was before, seeing him like this makes you feel a surge of confidence. you know you did that to him.

so... what is someone to do with a sudden boost in confidence?

hit your new possible love interest with a pick up line :-) !!!

“heyyy so i know the spring constant of my mattress, would you be interested in taking some data with me?”

slapping your shoulder lightly he’s yet to gain his composure back, levi’s genuinely out of breathe now trying to steady himself and your comment doesn’t do him any favours that’s for sure

“my god you have no sham–”

without warning the door to your left swings open you and levi flinch trying to scramble away from eachother only to fail, hange marches in before stopping dead in their tracks.

all they see is levi knelt in front of you, hair disheveled huffing like his life depends on it

then their focus shifts to you, you’re sure some of your makeup has smudged and the entire scenario looks suspicious

levi seems as if he’s about to warn hange to not tell anyone and keep this a secret for now but they sprint away before any of you have the opportunity to ask for some privacy

not even ten seconds later a collision can be heard alongside a series of thuds and then hange’s yelling towards the end of the hallway “GUYS??? THEY ACTUALLY DID IT???”

for some reason the cheers coming from the living room warm your heart

you guess your friends figured out the direction of your relationship long before you and levi did :-)

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15-dogs · 4 years ago

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hugger |n.s.|

pairing: newt scamander x reader

summary: you begin to develop feelings for newt, your employer, and accidentally do the one thing he hates: hugs (super super fluffy! pining, friends to lovers, takes place in between fbawtft and fb:tcog)

warnings: extremely minimal swearing, getting injured (nothing serious!), a niffler giving birth (?)

guide: (Y/N) = your name, italics = flashback

word count: 2.1K

a/n: this was supposed to be a blurb LMAO i rewatched fantastic beasts and unearthed my 8th grade crush on him which gave me this as a product! i hope you like it!!

“Denied again?” you asked Newt. He gave you a curt nod as he paced towards the Kelpie pool.

You frowned; he always seemed to get quieter after he returned from the Ministry. It had been his third attempt to regain his international passport and, of course, his third run in with his brother, Theseus. And you knew how complicated their relationship was. Newt never really talked about Theseus, except for the offhand comments he would make about him.

So far, all you had gathered about the mysterious Scamander was that he was tall, an Auror, and quite the hugger. You nearly burst out laughing when Newt had mentioned that last little fact about his brother as if it were reason enough to dislike him.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Scamander, but that just doesn’t seem like something to hate a person over.”

Newt exhaled in quiet laughter as he pet a Mooncalf, grabbing some treats from the bucket he held. He flashed a kind smile at the Mooncalf before turning off and dropping the bucket to the ground, staring you down from across his basement.

“You haven’t met Theseus, then.”

Newt refused to meet your eyes as he joined you in caring for the Leucrotta. You chewed your lip— perhaps you were making a mistake, talking to him so plainly. He was your employer, after all. You weren’t there to help him make nice with his older brother.

Yet, you continued to speak as if you were a personal acquaintance of his. “What I’m trying to say is you’re an incredibly kind, sweet person, Mr. Scamander.”

That got his attention. His head slowly raised to meet yours, and when he saw you were already looking at him, he looked away. But that did not deter you.

“You refer to yourself as these creatures’ mother!” you announced with playful exasperation. That got to him, a soft, harmonic chuckle escaping his lips. “You have such a big heart. I suppose I’m just a little shocked that hugging is the disqualifier.”

Newt’s smile faded as he processed your words. You saw his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed, thick with emotion. He then shook his head as if it would drive the feelings away, pointing you off towards another creature in need of care.

“Well, what are you going to do?” you prodded, making your way beside him. “Try again?”

“Yes,” he stated with a nonchalant shrug, “that’s exactly what I plan on doing. And I’ll keep at it until I get that ban lifted.”

You snorted. “I can see why you were a Hufflepuff— dedication like no other, Mr. Scamander.”

Newt glanced up at you with a lopsided grin that had your stomach flipping for a moment. The tips of your ears began to heat up and you prayed to Merlin that your hair covered them.

You had known for a while that you had feelings for Newt. It started cultivating inside you with every adoring smile, every impassioned statement, every quiet appraisal. It had soon grown too big to go unnoticed and you knew you were in far too deep.

“Quiet now, quiet now,” Newt whispered to the little Bowtruckle, “mum’s here.”

You were padding down the steps from his apartment, reading the instructions on the back of a potion vile. He had advised you to get it from his medicine cabinet for your headache but you weren’t entirely sure that you picked up the right one.

“Mr. Scamander…” your voice trailed off at the sight of his maternal tendencies.

“I know, I know,” he cooed, “but change can be a good thing. On you hop.” He continued to pet the small and pouty thing before placing it into the makeshift nest he had created, where it was welcomed by the rest of its friends.

That small moment, seemingly insignificant, had caused you to completely fall for Newt. His soft, green eyes fell upon you with a gentle, questioning look at the potion you held. You nodded, answering his silent question without actually telling the truth because, if Newt could be as seemingly perfect as he was day in and day out, you could suffer with a headache for one day.

“Prepare the ointment, please.”

You raised the large container of ointment that you had mixed together in preparation for Newt’s return. “Don’t have to ask me twice, Mr. Scamander.”

He nodded his head towards a desk where you placed the container down.

Newt began to take off his trademark royal blue coat, flinging it onto a desk as he conversed with you about your work. “How has Molly been?”

You eyed the pregnant Niffler which was milling about in its cage. “Quite well, actually. She’s due any day now.”

“And the other Nifflers?”

“Niffler-y, as always,” you joked, earning a smile from the sandy haired man before you.

“Lovely.” Newt finally turned around, examining your state. “You’ll join me, won’t you? Kelpie’s are easier with two people.”

“Right, yes, of course.”

“Brilliant.”

You undid the buttons on your blouse with haste so that you stood in your pants and camisole, pulling your hair from your eyes as you prepared to hop into the pool. It wasn’t like it was the first time you’d done this, but each time had your nerves thrumming with anxieties that something would go wrong.

You spun around as you took a step towards the edge of the pool, standing shoulder to shoulder with Newt. He extended his hand without looking down, taking yours in his perfectly rough ones, your mouth instantly going dry. Newt looked over at you, so incredibly close that your noses nearly brushed against one another. He nodded and so did you, both hopping backwards into the pool.

Your camisole popped up from the sudden force and Newt quickly looked away as you tucked it back in to the best of your ability. As soon as you were done, you splashed some water his way, striking him in the chest. His eyes went wide with amusement as he did the same to you, hitting you square in the face.

A small wave knocked the two of you back under, the Kelpie swimming its way towards you. You and Newt managed to grab a hold of it, barely staying on as it bucked you two up and down.

After about the third time the Kelpie lept from the water, you cemented your grip. You let out a loud whoop as the cold air kissed your wet skin, Newt also cheering beside you. The Kelpie dove deep under the water, preparing to rocket you two up. As it breached the water, Newt sent you a disarming smile that had your hands subconsciously loosening. As the Kelpie snapped back under the water, you were thrown off, your body just narrowly missing the stone columns of the pool and splashing with a loud crack in the water.

“(Y/N)!” Newt cried out. His voice was drowned out by the water and by the fact that the pain from the fall had you slipping in and out of consciousness. It was the last thing you heard before you passed out, deep under the water.

You awoke to smell of a savory broth soup flooding in from the room over. You looked around the familiar space, soon realizing that you were sat on Newt’s couch, a blanket tucked firmly up to your chin. Your cheeks grew warm as you inhaled the scent that was distinctly him, scolding yourself for the childish crush you had developed.

You adjusted yourself, sitting up to see a tray of tinctures on the table beside you with a note that read, “Please take these when you wake! Newt.” You followed his orders, slugging them back with a wince at each unpleasant taste.

But then you heard a strange noise from the basement. It was a mix between a squeak and a whine, concerning enough to pull you from your cozy spot on Newt’s couch. You stood up and peered around the corner, hearing a soft, offkey hum ringing from the kitchen where Newt most likely was cooking his dinner. The sound of his voice warmed your heart and you almost, almost, got up to speak with him but you figured you had caused him enough trouble for the day. So instead, you headed into the basement by yourself.

You gripped the railings on the stairs with immense force, hoping not to fall over. Your body felt sore which you could only attribute to your accident earlier. You stopped at the bottom of the steps, peering around when you were met with a pained cry from the Niffler cage. You ran up to it to see Molly the pregnant Niffler whimpering in pain as another Niffler nudged at her stomach.

“Oh, Merlin,” you muttered, “you’re about to give birth, aren’t you, Molls?”

As if Molly could understand you, she let out a loud squeal.

“Oh, Merlin. Time to put that Hogwarts education to the test, I suppose,” you mumbled to yourself to give yourself the confidence you needed to deliver the little Niffler babies.

You snatched the pair of gloves from beside the cage and tugged them on tight, casting a spell so they’d perfectly fit your hands. You unlocked the cage to take Molly out, moving her into a small tray with bedding in it.

“Okay, Molls, you got this. Mum’s here.”

You rubbed her stomach in small circles, feeling the baby— no, babies— squirm around. One thing was for certain: you needed Newt.

“Mr. Scamander!” you called upstairs. No response. “Mr. Scamander, please!” Still no response. “Merlin’s beard, Newt! Get down here!”

No later did you hear heavy steps growing louder behind you. “(Y/N)! You’re awake! Are you okay-”

You didn’t have time for his rambling. You sent a panicked look over your shoulder, meeting his wide eyes. “Molly is giving birth. Triplets.”

“Merlin’s beard.” He ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it in contemplation. “How’s she doing?”

“She’s a fighter, I’ll tell you that.”

“What can I do to help you?”

You whipped around. Apparently you’d be delivering the babies. You took in a sobering breath, steadying your shaking hands.

“Something shiny, some snacks, and a towel.”

Newt scrambled around the workspace as fast as he could, dropping the items in front of you. You laid out the towel and snacks beside Molly, massaging her stomach as you felt the babies start to move more than before. It was time. You pulled the shiny object out from behind your back, dangling it above Molly’s head as she delivered three adorable Niffler babies, so distracted by the object that she didn’t realize that she’d given birth. You escorted the babies onto the towel, allowing them to nibble on the snacks as you stripped the gloves off.

“Merlin,” you murmured to yourself in astonishment, “Merlin! I just…”

Newt’s smile was so big it nearly split his face. He nodded, sharing in your excitement. “You did,” he assured.

Completely forgetting about professionalism, you hopped onto him, engulfing him in a tight hug while you laughed melodically. Newt’s thin frame stiffened in your grasp. You gasped, jumping off of him with your hands up.

“I am so sorry, Mr. Scamander. No hugs, I forgot.”

Newt simply stared at you, searching your eyes. You gulped as he took a step closer to you.

“Theseus tends to believe that a hug is just as useful as an apology, so I don’t quite like hugs for that reason.”

“Oh.” You didn’t know what else to say.

The corner of Newt’s lips twitched upwards, looking around before meeting your gaze. He took another step forward before taking you in his arms. You began to wonder if he could feel your heart pounding in your chest, whether he assumed it was from adrenaline or knew that it was him that drove you mad.

“You should be proud of yourself!” He pulled away to look in your eyes, his arms slinking downwards to rest around your waist. “And, please, (Y/N), no more with the Mr. Scamander business. I’d like to think that we’re well acquainted enough for you to call me Newt.”

If professionalism was damned before, it was most certainly damned now.

Merlin, he was so close, you couldn’t help yourself. With your arms wrapped behind his neck, you pulled him into a long overdue kiss. Your heart thundered in your chest but you were too focused on the way his lips melted perfectly into yours, the way he kissed you back with such hunger and vigor that you had to hold onto him tighter, the way you began to smile as he attempted to figure out where to place his hands.

You pulled away a moment later, Newt following your lips with unpleasant surprise. All you could do was let out a soft chuckle as your cheeks turned pink.

A teasing grin grew on his lips that had your stomach flipping. “I’m positive now that we’re well acquainted enough for you to call me Newt.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

general taglist: @pandaxnienke @lunalovecroft

#newt scamander #newt scamander x you #newt scamander x y/n #newt scamander x reader #newt scamander fanfiction #newton artemis fido scamander #theseus scamander #magizoologist #magizoologist reader #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #newt scamander imagine #newt scamander oneshot #tw injury #newt scamander fluff #fantastic beasts and where to find them #fantastic beasts: the crimes of grindelwald

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thedistrictsleepsalonetonight · 4 years ago

Text

Always (or Dani, the collector of souls falls in love and Miles keeps passing out during the entire story)

If you were, hypothetically, of course, to visit a place in England called Bly Manor, you would most likely meet an odd group of people. You would see two children, one an absolute angel, the other a teenage, snarky brat of a boy, who are probably being supervised by a stern, yet extremely capable looking woman. You would probably be shown around the house by the sweetest housekeeper in the world, probably be offered lemon cakes by a tall man who looks at the aforementioned housekeeper with all the stars in his eyes. And maybe, just maybe in the middle of it all, you might glance outside and see a woman standing by herself in the garden. At first you would think she’s just moving casually, maybe dancing on her own; and then you would see that her movement has a pattern. It almost seems as though.... no, it couldn’t be.

“Is that woman,” you would ask, hesitantly, not wishing to offend these people and some potential strange ritual of theirs, “talking to herself?”

The housekeeper (Hannah, you think she’s called) glances outside and chuckles. “Oh, that,” she says. “That’s just Jamie. Jaime’s the gardener. She’s just talking to her girlfriend.”

You would resist the urge to rub at your eyes. “Her.... her girlfriend?”

“Well, technically Dani hasn’t asked her yet,” the cook cuts in, smiling. “But it’s on the way, I assure you.”

You would look from the strange, solitary woman, to their frank, open faces, and then back to the solitary woman again, and you would think.

You would think Why, these people are absolutely fucking bonkers.

*****

(They’re really not)

*****

The first time Jamie saw the woman, it was from across the grounds, which is why it took her crossing halfway the distance to realize that she was breakdancing.

Then again, she had also got other things on her mind. Peter Fucking Quint had to go and fall off the parapet while attempting to rob the Wingraves of their old jewelry the night before last, and between helping Hannah communicate with the police, ensuring Owen received an adequate number of head pats every hour to calm him down, and offering Rebecca a listening ear for both murderous rants and angry tears, she had her hands completely full. And that wasn’t even including the kids, although they seemed to be doing fairly alright. Thankfully they had not seen the body. However, that didn’t deter Miles, who was currently going through a bit of a Hannibal phase, from popping up at random intervals to ask her what broken bones looked like, or if the blood had frozen overnight.

All in all, pretty exhausting.

Which is why the sight of the children standing in front of a breakdancing woman didn’t register at first. She was pulling out the weeds, sun high in the sky, sweat tracing an uncomfortable path down her back when something made her look up. One double take, and she was scrambling in their direction.

She reached them, panting, raised her head after her breath was a little more even and looked right at the woman, who was currently doing the robot. “Um,” she started, unsure of where to go from there. “Are — are you quite alright?”

The woman stopped abruptly, her mouth falling open. “You can see me?”

Okay, this woman was clearly mental. “Yes?”

The woman looked even more astounded. “You really can?” she turned to Flora next. “You too?”

Flora blinked. “Yes, we can.”

“But that’s impossible! You shouldn’t be able to see me. In fact—”

“Jaime, darling,” Miles cut in the middle of what seemed to be the beginning of a rapidly delivered monologue. “Could you escort this.... clearly insane lady outside?”

Jaime thwack-ed the side of his head gently. “Wanna try that again? Nicely?”

He looked sheepish. Not really a bad kid, that one, she thought. Just annoying.

“But you really shouldn’t be able to see me. By all calculations, it’s completely—”

“Well, why not?” Miles asked, now having warmed to the idea of possibly talking to someone who was crazy.

The woman brightened up. “Well, because,” she said, “this, I guess.”

And then she snapped her fingers, disappeared and reappeared on the other side of the lake, where she waved at them excitedly.

Flora is the only one who waved back. Jamie was too busy supporting the weight of a now-collapsed Miles.

*****

Jamie thought it was patently unfair that the reaper of souls was just so damn cute.

(They weren’t supposed to be cute! They were supposed to look gaunt and hollow, and angry and sad, not like sunshine wrapped up in a very human looking package. They weren’t supposed to be walking around with bright, blue, gorgeous eyes, and faces that seemed to have been sculpted by some divine power up there, and a voice that was sweet and soothing enough to put Jamie right to sleep.)

“It’s amazing how all of you can see me,” the reaper of souls, or Dani, as she had introduced herself, said, looking wide-eyed at all of them. Rebecca and a recently awakened Miles were the only ones who looked actively concerned, standing in the corner. Owen and Hannah were, as ever, polite and pleasant, if a little curious. Flora was already settled in next to Dani, asking her questions a mile a minute. And Jamie was—

(Very fucking annoyed at how pretty Dani was)

—completely alright.

“And you’re here to get Peter?” Owen asked her, with a sideways look in Rebecca’s direction.

“Oh yes,” Dani replied. “And boy, was that man a pain. Really whiny. Went all Boohoo I can’t be dead, I’m supposed to do so many things, I’m so cool and awesome and. Ugh. Annoying is what he was. I mean, the list says Peter Quint — died while trying to steal from Bly Manor; what am I supposed to do?”

They all nodded, a little dazed.

“And then I saw the kids and I was bored and I thought they couldn’t see me anyways so,” she continued, and then looked down, suddenly a little shy. “I really am sorry about the.... you know, breakdancing. I honestly thought nobody could see me.”

“It’s okay, it was cute,” Jamie found herself saying before she had time to process, and then wanted to stab herself with the fork lying on the table. If that didn’t work, bang her head on the surface until she bled to death. Or—

“Thank you,” Dani said, equally as quiet.

Jamie closed her eyes, willed her body to fall dead right then and there.

(It didn't work, unfortunately)

“Would you like to stay for supper?” he heard Owen ask their guest.

“Supper?” Dani asked. “Wait, is it already that late?”

Jamie looked up a moment later, when she heard everybody scream and then she opened her eyes to see a stranger standing right near the stove.

“Viola!” Dani said, alarmed. “I thought I sent a message I was gonna be late.”

The woman looked very haughty, very angry and (this is something she hated to admit, again, but) very fucking hot. Seriously. What was with these underworld people and ridiculously angelic skin? Her gaze moved past all of them, came to rest on Dani.

“I got your message alright,” she announced, blithely. “Just couldn’t figure out why you were still here.”

Dani chuckled, nervously. “So, funny story, but as it turns out — these people can — uh, see us?”

Viola tilted her head, regarded her. “Are you sure?”

“Hello,” Hannah said, ever the gracious host. “Welcome to Bly Manor.”

Viola looked flabbergasted now, doing a double take to look at all of them more carefully.

“They can see us?”

Dani nodded, gingerly.

“Seriously?”

Another nod.

“But that can’t be—”

“—Viola, I know, but—”

“—it simply cannot be allowed—”

“—absolutely not I know what you’re thinki—”

“—We have to end them!”

There was another whoosh right next to Jamie’s ear, and she took her time, turning around, only to see another pissed-off, hot woman, standing in the kitchen, her arms crossed.

“I didn’t even say kill!” Viola protested.

“You implied it!”

Their standoff was interrupted by a violent, abrupt thud. It seemed Miles had fainted again.

*****

Jamie walked into the greenhouse, paused and smiled.

“You cannot surprise me,” she said, aloud.

There was movement behind her, and then Dani walked into view.

“How do you always know I’m here?”

Jamie stayed quiet. There wasn’t a good, less-embarrassing way to say The air dances when you’re around, or I can feel your presence in the back of my neck, in the way my heart starts skipping steps on whatever treadmill it is currently running on.

“Let me keep my secrets,” she answered.

Dani stayed beside her, as she started on the rose plants, a safe distance away, safe enough for Jamie to not feel like she would combust. “I got you something.”

“You’ve already given me so many things,” Jamie told her, hand rubbing at the back of her neck. It was true. Every time Dani had dropped in the past month, she’d brought little trinkets from her travels all over the world.

(Travels was an excellent way of describing the action of harvesting the grumpy souls of the dead)

One time there had been crepes from Paris, courtesy the tourist guide who passed of a heart attack in a café. Another time it was one of Cerberus’ treats, because Jamie was eternally curious as to what hell dogs actually ate. The bone had been framed and now lay on one of her shelves back at home. One day, she had gotten macarons that Owen had scarfed down before Dani could get around to telling him they were filled with the eternal cries of the dead.

(He’d spent the entire day walking around convinced he was going to die. The doctor said it was indigestion)

She opened the neatly wrapped box and picked up the pomegranate. Turned it around in her hand, examined it.

“Aren’t these supposed to tie me down to the Underworld forever?” she asked, only half-serious.

“Gosh, no,” Dani said, nervously chuckling. “These are not that kind.”

Jamie waited.

“Um, so these,” Dani went on, “these seeds are kind of multi-purpose things? So basically you can eat them, but these seeds, when planted, they can grow any plant in the world. Doesn’t matter what soil they’re on. I mean, I heard you mention that flower you’ve always wanted to grow, but England doesn’t have the climate suited to it and — well. This would work.”

If Jamie could speak, this is what she would have said: I don’t know how to thank you. I don’t know why you’re here, why you give me so much of your precious time, time that you could be walking around the whole world in. I don’t know what to do with myself when I’m around me, how to breathe, how to look, and I’m an utter godforsaken mess, but I’m eternally grateful you barged into our lives a while ago. I don’t know what I was doing before you came. I hope you never leave.

She would have said I know you collect souls, but there’s at least one heart lying in that bag of yours, and there’s a good chance it’s mine.

As it is, all she did was grab onto Dani’s hand, and squeeze.

*****

“You have got to stop doing that!” Owen gasped, hand on his heart.

Dani shrugged from on where she was now perched on top of the table, sitting directly in front of an open-mouthed Miles. “Hannah always knows when I’m here.”

“That’s because I really do have eyes everywhere,” Hannah turned around, smiled brightly at Dani. “Spaghetti?”

“I’ve been asking you for the past five minutes!” Jamie said, indignantly.

“Well, now we know who’s her favorite,” Dani shoots an infuriatingly smug grin in her direction, and pats the top of her head and—

Jamie would feel annoyed if her heart wasn’t racing and there wasn’t a blush fighting to make its way up her cheeks. This love thing was annoying.

(Not that it was love, of course. Certainly not)

“As charming as that sounds, Hannah darling,” Dani continued, “I actually came for a purpose.”

“Is it to set murderers on us again?”

“No, Miles,” Dani replied, patiently. “Plus, Viola and Perdita wouldn’t really have.... killed you. Maimed you, at best.”

Rebecca shuddered delicately on the other side of the table.

“Remember when you said you’d had a bit of a dinosaur phase when you were a kid?” Dani directed this towards Jamie.

“... yes?”

“Well,” Dani snapped her fingers, and to their extreme horror, a parrot sized creature appeared next to her, “meet Battery!”

“—completely house trained,” she heard Dani explaining to Hannah, while she extended a hand towards (what was he called? Right) Battery. He opened his mouth, stepped closer, licked the entire length of her finger with a long, slimy tongue, and then immediately nipped at her nail.

(Jamie may or may not be helplessly charmed)

Before she could say anything, however, Miles fell from his chair onto the kitchen floor.

Rebecca sighed, got up from her chair. “You guys know there’s going to be permanent brain damage if he keeps doing that.”

*****

About three things went wrong the day Jamie decided she was finally going to tell Dani she was in love with her.

The first thing was that she needed to get drunk, and decided to trust Owen and Hannah to deliver. The second was that Battery wasn’t adequately educated in the intricacies of human weirdness and tended to panic at the first sign of strange behavior. Third, lakes weren’t the most romantic places to confess your love, but apparently nobody had told Jamie this.

So when she found herself flailing for breath after having somehow made her way to the middle of the lake in a makeshift lifeboat and then having upturned it in the process, she only had herself to blame.

“What,” Dani started, looking absolutely furious, hair all over the place as she held Jamie up, “the fuck were you doing in the middle of the lake?”

“Hey!” Jamie sang, because the alcohol was making her feel very sing-song-y, “You shouldn’t be here yet! It’s not time!”

“Battery panicked and summoned me,” Dani explained. “Are — are you drunk?”

“No, she’s not!” Hannah called out from where she and Owen had just reached the lake. “We gave her loads of strong bitter soda and convinced her it was watered down whiskey.”

(Now that she was thinking about it, the whiskey had seemed pretty fizzy for her liking)

“Oh,” she Jamie, now sobered up. “But I was drowning.”

“Yeah, in about five feet of water.”

Well, that was anticlimactic.

*****

At midnight, she sat by the lake, covered in a warm, fuzzy blanket Dani had draped all over her. Dani sat beside her, Battery on her lap, smiling at her from time to time.

“You’re such an idiot,” she said, out of nowhere, and Jamie didn’t have the heart to disagree. “What am I even going to do with you?”

“You could,” Jamie started, ponderously, like she hadn’t spent three months of her life thinking this over, like her heart wasn’t an over-excited ping-pong in her chest right now, “you could always take me out on a date, you know?”

“Really?” Dani murmured. “Well, that’s a novel idea.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Depends. Would you be okay dating someone who is almost constantly grumpy from carrying around beleaguered souls all day?”

Jamie pretended to think. “I think so, yes.”

“Someone who regularly hangs out with a murder-friendly woman?”

“.... maybe?”

“How about someone who may have to keep going away for lengths of time?”

Jamie turned to her. “Would that someone come back to me, though?”

Dani’s eyes were shiny and hopeful, and she felt her breath get stuck in her throat like a lovesick little fool. “Always,” Dani whispered.

“Well, then,” Jamie whispered back to her, and then leaned in for the most picture-perfect happy ending of all time.

#the haunting of bly manor #thobm #thobm fanfic #this is a completely crazy au i have no idea where i got the idea from but yeah #basically me not being able to accept that rebecca and hannah and dani died so yeah #some more family feels #but also grim reapers???????#as always #no editing we die like dani clayton #happy reading y'all #dani x jamie #fanfiction

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sleepyfountainkingdom · 4 years ago

Text

Marigolds

Pairing: Loki X Peter

Warnings: Gore. Fighting. Biting. Zombie Apocalypse.

Summary: Loki goes out on a supply run, leaving Peter to guard their current “safe house” of sorts. Things don’t necessarily go as planned for Loki.

Word Count: 3.6k

Author’s Note: Loki is human in this! Both of them were pretty young when the apocalypse started. I’m also very new to actually posting my works, so if you think I should add more trigger warning tags, please tell me!

Marigolds - Despair and grief over the loss of love; The beauty and warmth of the rising sun

Peter was pacing through the store-turned-camp his and his boyfriend, Loki, had managed to set up in the abandoned mall. It’s been a few hours since Loki left for the supply run, and he should be back by now. He had only gone out to get to the pharmacy in the mall to get some water and whatever medicine he could find. He was never out for more than an hour too, and it’s almost been two hours since they said their goodbyes. The boy had to shake his head, doing his best to dismiss the grim train of thoughts. Loki would be fine. He had to be.

Loki was absolutely not fine. When he got to the pharmacy, he had found that a horde of infected had somehow found their way inside. The smart decision would have been to leave, go back to their safe house, and bring Peter with him. But he had never really been the one to make smart and well thought out decisions, more so when it implied that he needed help with something. It was only once the fight had ended and all the infected lay splayed around him dead on the floor and the adrenaline that had once flooded his system faded that he realized what had happened. An infected had managed to take a bite out of his shoulder.

He felt the blood dripping down his back first, and when he looked down he could see it drip down his arm. He stepped over the somewhat decomposed bodies, finding a place not covered in blood and sat down, pulling the gun out of its holster, letting it just loosely lay in his hand as he looked down at the broken watch, wanting to keep an eye on the time. He was honestly just waiting for the symptoms to hit him, knowing that it was just doomed to happen. They always came after an hour after the initial infection. An hour and a half passed at a snail's past, but they never did. There never was a fever, his skin never began to itch, his ability to focus wasn’t impaired, and somehow, even with the blood loss, he still managed to be conscious.

The only logical thought was that he had to be immune, there was no real other way to explain it; unless the gods he didn’t particularly believe in thought it would have been hilarious to make him turn once he made it back to the camp. He managed to push himself up off the floor using his good arm and untied the flannel that he had tied around his waist and put it on. He didn’t want to scare Peter with the bite, even if the blood was already beginning to seep through the thick fabric. He packed his bag full of water, antibiotic cream, and a few bottles of painkillers before struggling to put her bag on her shoulder. He winced when the pressure was put on his wounded shoulder, and quickly just removed the strap; he would much rather deal with having all the weight on just the one shoulder than deal with that pain all the way back. He hurried, or tried to anyways to make it back to their camp, pushing the door open with his hip. He forced himself to smile through the pain when he saw Peter running up towards him.

“Loki! You’re okay, oh thank god! I was starting to worry that you were hurt or even worse…” Peter was far too ecstatic at that very moment to notice the blood soaked flannel on his shoulders. Peter took the bag from his boyfriends, laying it gently on the floor before really getting a good look at Loki. It was clear that he had some sort of altercation, he was covered in dirt and had blood splattered across his face, but he didn't seem injured at first. That's when he saw it, the blood on his shoulder, and what blood managed to drip to the floor. Peter took a few steps back, nearly tripping over himself. "Oh god, you're bleeding! Loki what happened?!"

"Huh…? Oh… it's nothing you gotta worry about Peter." Loki picked the bag up off the floor and pushed past his boyfriend to lay the bag on the table. A quiet yet deep sigh escaped him as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He took a moment before turning around to look at Peter, leaning against the table so he didn't lose his footing. "So nothing happened while I was gone?"

Peter looked up at Loki like he had actually lost his mind in the two hours he had been gone. "Loki, your shirt is practically drenched in blood! You can't just try and change the subject!" While he might not be as observant as Loki, but he could tell in this dim light that Loki was seeming paler than normal, almost white, because of all of the blood loss.

Loki glanced down at his arm, his mind drifting off into thought just thinking about what had actually transpired. "Well… One could definitely say that."

Peter started to pout, and his eyes started to water, his mind drifting to the unpleasant thought of Loki getting any weaker. "Can you just… please let me look at it? We can't just… leave it and risk it getting infected? We have to clean it Loki… please."

"I…" Loki tried to think of another excuse that he could use to prevent having to show off the bite wound. "Fine, fine…" He looked down to the ground as he pushed himself away from the table that he was using to hold himself up. He focused on his breathing, trying to ready himself for the movement of the flannel which would just send a new wave of pain through his body. He bit the inside of his cheek, another thing that he was doing to distract himself from the pain, while he reached to pull the fabric off his shoulder to expose the bite wound. "Tada…"

The first thing Peter tried to do was ignore the sight in front of him, though it clearly wasn't working. "You… you got bit… why'd it have to be you of all people?" Peter couldn't remember a time when he wasn't with Loki. They had been together since before they're last camp had over ran.

Loki looked towards his shoulder, a throbbing pain going through it as the bite wound only continued to seep out more blood. "It certainly does appear that way doesn't it…" He took the flannel off completely, it making an unpleasant sound when it was laid down on the table. "There was this uh… horde in the pharmacy we typically go to… I was able to kill them but not before… well ya know…"

"Loki I… I don't think that I can… that I can actually kill you… how much longer do you have…?" Panic was quick to set in, causing Peter's body to shake.

"You mean until I turn…? I mean, unless the gods are feeling particularly cruel, I don't think that's something that you have to worry about Peter… it's been about," Loki looked down at his watch, his brain taking much longer than it should have to read the hands on the clock. "Just about two hours since it actually happened?" He just let his arm fall back to the side and looked back up to meet Peter's eyes. "I honestly feel fine… besides the blood loss, but that's whatever…" He took a deep breath, his body visibly shaking when he did. "Either way, you won't have to kill me. As late as it is, if I do start showing symptoms, I'm fine with effing me myself… you don't really think I would do that to you, so you?"

"Two hours…? How… how is that even possible? You should have turned by now, or at least showing some symptoms… at the very least."

"Do you actually think I have the answer to that question? Peter… Most of those two hours were just spent waiting for the symptoms to come. I wouldn’t have even come back at all if I actually felt any of them coming along… believe it or not, I wouldn’t have done that to you. It’s like I said… I feel fine for the most part… there’s the headache and dizziness from the blood loss like I said, but it’s not the infection… and while I am a good liar, I draw the line when it comes to lying to other people, you know that.” He looked between Peter and the chair near the table and let out an almost defeated sigh. “Fuck it, I need to sit down.” He muttered quietly under his breath and held onto the table he was leaning against as he walked around to the other side, slumping down into the chair when he got there.

Peter couldn’t help but run over to him, nearly tripping over himself in the process. His imagination started to go wild again, thinking of the horror Loki must have been going through after he was bitten, and here he was tossing around accusations and throwing a fit when he had just spent two hours just waiting for the symptoms, all so Loki could protect Peter. “Well… we need to take care of it… even if you aren’t turning, we can’t just leave it open like that…” Neither of them had actually treated a bite wound of any kind, but the infection that could set in if it wasn’t cleaned and covered could prove just as deadly as turning.

“Peter, what… What is there for us to do? We don’t have enough gauze to cover it, we’ve been running low for a while. I know we don’t have enough rubbing alcohol, but we have plenty of water though it wouldn’t be wise for us to use it all on this since it’s all we have to drink.” Loki looked up to Peter, his face finally showing just how drowsy he was now that he wasn’t holding up the front that nothing was wrong. It really wasn’t bleeding much, the bite wasn’t deep enough to hit any arteries, but it was the amount of time the wound has been bleeding. “I mean really Peter.”

As much as Peter hated to admit it, Loki was right, but that didn’t deter Peter any. “We don’t have enough to treat it on our own, but I know somewhere we could get more.” He walked closer to get a better look at the bite. It was bad, but it should be treatable with the right stuff. “There’s a vet place just down the hall, say it last time we went out to get food. It hasn’t been broken into yet somehow, but they should have everything we need to treat it, right?”

“Alright fine, let’s go then…” Loki forced himself to stand up, putting all his weight on his good arm. “Get your bag goo, lord knows how it’s gonna take to actually heal.” He wasn’t about to let Peter go on his own to somewhere that hasn’t been cleared out, not after this happened when he went out on his own.

Peter immediately shook his head and pushed Loki back into the chair; it was a task that was far too easy for it to not be concerning. “Absolutely not Loki, you’re not going anywhere.” He could tell by just looking at him that the man sitting in front of him. “You’re in no shape to go out or get into a fight. I’ll do this myself, you could collapse while we’re out, or bleed completely out. I’ve got this, okay? This place was locked up, there won’t be many inside, if any.”

Loki looked like he had a protest on the tip of his tongue. He didn’t like the idea of Peter going off on his own, locked or not it just left a bitter taste in his mouth. “Fine…” He took his handgun back out of its holster and laid it on the table. “Go on and go, but if there’s too many you come right back here. Do you understand me?”

“I’ll run if there’s more than I can handle, you don’t gotta worry about it.” Peter rubbed Loki’s good shoulder, doing his best to try and reassure him. “I won’t be long, give me an hour at most, that’s all I ask.”

“Alright fine… but the moment you leave that door, I’ll be keeping an eye on my watch and if you aren’t back in an hour I will go after you.” It was an empty threat for the most part; Loki was well aware of the fact that he most likely wouldn’t be awake long enough to be able to follow through with it, mainly since he was already starting to feel himself fall asleep.

“I’ll be back, just you wait.” Peter poured the contents of Loki’s bag onto the table, some of the bottles rolling off and hitting the floor. He took it and his own bag with him as he hurried out of the room. He booked it to the vet, already pulling out his key chain that had the lock picks on it. He saw once he pushed the gate up that there was only one infected in the room, trapped under a shelf that had been knocked over for who knows how long by now, but it was an easy target so Peter didn’t complain. He spent half an hour packing what he could in the two large bags before running back to their camp.

Peter came back to seeing Loki and panicked as he ran up to him. If you looked closely, you could have seen the rise and fall of his chest as his lungs tried to overcompensate thanks to all of the blood loss. Peter sat on the floor and quickly pulled out a bottle of rubbing alcohol. He took a second to screw off the lid and tore off the seal before quickly pouring some onto the open wound. Loki shot up out of the seat, a loud string of curses flying out of his mouth. He was clenching his hands in an attempt to calm himself down. After a moment he finally looked down towards Peter who was still sitting on the floor. “What the hell was that?”

“Oh uh… Rubbing alcohol.” Peter lifted the bottle somewhat in his hands. He, admittedly, only felt a little bit guilty, and that was only because he knew that he caused Loki pain, but he was awake now, and frankly that’s all he cared about. “I’m not sure how else I could have woken you up.” He sat the bottle down on the floor and looked up to Loki. “What I got from the vet is meant for animals I think, but they should work for now… If you start barking or whatever we can handle that another time.” Peter let out a nervous laugh and forced himself to smile when he looked back up to Loki.

“Yeah, yeah whatever… Loki slowly lowered himself back down into the chair carefully, and laid his arms back on the table before resting his head back down to get himself in a comfortable position. He looked at the blood soaked fabric of his long past well worn flannel. It had at one point been his brother’s, but he wasn’t even sure if Thor had managed to make it out when their homes were overtaken, and if he was alive how he was supposed to start looking for him. He let out a quiet sigh before turning his gaze to look towards the door. “I’m gonna need a new flannel.” He wasn’t happy about it, but it wasn’t like he was gonna walk around wearing something covered in his own blood. “Might be a good idea to give me something to bite down on too…”

“I’ll get you a new one soon.” Peter rubbed Loki’s back gently, and pushed himself up off the ground finally. He went to where their clothes were put away, and grabbed one of his shirts to bring over to Loki. “I found this poster while I was there… talks about first aid for dog or cat bites…” He pulled the poster out, and rolled it out. “Said to uh… clean it i, put antibiotics on it, then put bandages on it.” He pulled everything that he would need out of the bags, and then pulled out the small sewing kit that he always carried with him. “Hopefully I won’t need to sew it, but we have the sewing kit we found a while ago just in case, and these strip things too.” He scurried off for a moment, running to get a chair so he could better see the bite while he worked on it.

“This is gonna be shitty�� Just go on and get it over with.” Loki muttered quietly, mostly to himself, before just stuffing then rolled up t-shirt into his mouth so it could act like a makeshift gag, already biting down on the fabric.

Peter didn’t like being the one that was causing Loki pain, but he shoved that to the side cause he knew that this was something that needed to be done. He poured some rubbing alcohol onto the cotton pad and started to pad the area clean. After a few minutes he was done, and there was a small pile of bloodied cotton pads in front of them but at least the job was done. “There… I’ll let you rest up for a few moments before I continue patching you up.”

Loki pulled the shirt out of his mouth, and took a moment to blink the tears out of his eyes before speaking. “Remind me to never do this again…”

“Well if you wanted someone to bite you, you could have just asked me.” Peter forced himself to smile again, trying to just lighten up the mood.

“Peter, if you took a chunk of skin off me, you and I are gonna have to have a talk, just sayin.” Loki managed to let out a quiet laugh, and glanced up to Peter.

Peter barely kept himself from crying from just hearing Loki still being able to crack jokes at times like this. “Maybe I’ll just nibble a bit then… How… How are you feeling?”

“The stinging for the most part is gone, if that’s what you’re curious about. There’s some uh… tubes of antibiotic cream on the table. You probably saw them when you emptied my bag out but I got them while I was out… Figured you would want to know since you’ll need it.” Loki used one of his hands to point out one of them that had stayed on the table.

“I will, thank you for telling me.” Loki really wasn’t turning. He wouldn’t have been able to think like this if he was. Neither of them really knew how this was possible, but it was a gift, and was one of the few things neither of them would complain about. “Now I’m gonna have to poke around some… just to make sure that thing didn’t leave any teeth in you… and for future reference Loki, how about no more kinky biting games while you’re out, that sounds good enough for you?”

Loki didn’t like to think about just how lucky he was to have been immune, though he could thoroughly imagine that he was out of any good karma that he’s gained since he and Peter made it safely out of their last camp. “Well what can I say, I didn’t expect me brandishing my gun around to have been a turn on for them.”

Peter gave Loki a look that just screamed ‘you’re impossible’ before he leaned forward and pecked his lips carefully. “Alright, let me clean it out and bandage it before you get too cocky again.” He reached down and got a pair of tweezers out of his bag. “Come her, let me poke at ya.”

Loki just grinned like an idiot when he saw the look on Peter’s face. “Oh shut up, you know damn well that you wouldn’t have me any other way.” He situated himself, moving his arm back to give Peter more access to the bite. “Go on, poke away.” He quickly put the shirt back in his mouth and bit down once more.

Peter took a moment to situate a flashlight in his mouth so he could see the bite more clearly. He started poking around with the tweezers, pulling out a broken tooth and small shards of glad that he decided that it would be better left unquestioned. He took the flashlight out of his mouth for a moment, wanting to rest his jaw for a moment before finishing up. “Alright, that’s the worst part done and over with.” He reached over and grabbed a roll of bandages. He put the flashlight back in his mouth, and took his time carefully putting them on him, wanting to make sure they were tight. He took the flashlight out of his mouth and laid it on the able, smiling a bit. “Tada! All done.”

Loki pushed himself up and away from the table, and took the shirt out of this mouth, laying it on the table. He was holding himself up with his good arm before just quickly collapsing back into the chair he had been sitting in. “Well that’s certainly not gonna happen right now…” He patted the table softly. “I think I might just… stay here for a little bit.”

#tw gore #tw biting #tw fighting #tw zombie #frostspider #loki x peter #zombie apocolypse au

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luciddeparture · 4 years ago

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Is Meditation for Morons?

I’m can’t exactly recall the first time I decided to meditate. I just know what happened when I finally bothered to learn how to. It has since had a profound effect on my life.

Now I know what you are probably thinking… “Meditation? I don’t need any of that woo woo crap in my life.” That’s at least how I used to feel about it, but who knows? Maybe you are a little bit less cynical than I was.

It is somewhat ironic that I am now the one who is writing a blog on meditation and its benefits.

When I first heard about meditation I immediately dismissed it, until I rediscovered it about two years ago whilst listening to a podcast called The Tim Ferris Show. The podcast is a series of interviews where Tim Ferris interviews top performers in a variety of fields from all around the world. Surprisingly, over “80% of the people [he] interviews have some form of meditation practice”. That’s a significant percentage! I’m by no means insinuating that we all need to be world-class performers, but I feel that it could not hurt to learn from those who are achieving high levels of success. Especially when there is an easily identifiable common trait, which in this case is meditation.

It slowly became clearer and clearer to me that meditation might be less bullshit than I had originally anticipated.

Before we get into things, it is important to acknowledge that although meditation is now becoming increasingly commercialised and “trendy” in Western Cultures, meditation has been a huge component of many spiritual practices for many hundreds of years. In the East, meditation played a huge role in particular in both Hinduism and Buddhism. The earliest records of Meditation can be found in the Vedas, a religious text written in Sanskrit in 500bc. After reading the Vedas the Buddha added his own spin too, developing his own technique called Satipatthana, which is now most commonly known as Mindfulness. The direct translation is Sati (Attention) or (Remember) + Upa (Inside) + Thana (to keep) So Satipatthana means: To keep your attention inside.

Transcendental Meditation was introduced to the West in part by the popular culture of the 1960’s. A notable contribution was The Beatles sharing their experiences after visiting India. Although Mindfulness meditation was introduced much later to Western Cultures. Throughout this article I will primarily be discussing the effects of Mindfulness Meditation.

Over the last few years, the process of meditation, as well as its effects, has become a rapidly expanding subfield of neurological research. One of the most interesting experiments involved scientists conducting tests on a Monk, finding that although he was 41 he had the brain of a 33 year old. They gave him an FMRI scan while asking him to cultivate a sense of compassion by meditating, and the neural activity in his empathy circuits grew by 700-800%! One of the researches later wrote “Such an extreme increase befuddles science.”

When most of us anticipate getting burned our pain receptors act as though we are already suffering. So much so that when the pain actually comes nothing really changes. Once the physical stimulus stops the mental pain slowly subsides. Expert meditators act much less in anticipation of the pain and feel the pain more intensely while the stimulus is present. Their awareness of the pain ceases immediately as soon as the stimulus is removed.

Interestingly enough, the emotional centre for the brain, the Amygdala, acts in a similar fashion to the pain response. Meditators are often much better at responding in anticipation to emotional stress.

I’m someone who has always lived predominately inside their thoughts, probably leaning on the more erratic side. The thought of being able to sit in silence sorta freaked me out, not to mention seeming borderline impossible.

To understand what my mind looks like, you need to look no further than The Simpsons. Remember that scene where Homer is listening to Marge and inside his brain a monkey is clanging symbols? That’s the relationship I had with my brain almost all of the time. I believe this is the same for most of us.

Let’s put this to the test. You, my lucky reader, can be the test subject of a little experiment on your own psyche. For the next minute, I want you to close your eyes and just do your best to focus solely on your breath. 3…2..1. GO!

How did you go? Did you get lost in your thoughts? Did you forget entirely that you were even trying to focus at all? Where did your mind take you? Your relationship (or lack of)? Work? Or maybe even what you might have for dinner?

I found that when I first began meditating my mind would sometimes find itself distracted on the most obscure things. The reason why I am illustrating this point is because often when I speak to others who have tried meditation for the first time, I hear “I tried meditation, and it’s not for me - I just think too much”. I hate to say it, but these are the people who probably should be learning to meditate most of all.

The way I see meditation, is similar to closing background apps on your phone. It saves battery, and it just makes your phone faster. No brainer. I believe the same is true with meditation and giving your brain a break from constantly thinking.

A lot of the people who are reading this article will have grown up with internet access. Therefore, you have been bombarded with external stimuli in each and every moment. Bzzz, Bzzzz, Bzzzzzzzz. I’m sure that most of you will have received a messages even whilst reading this article.

Our brains have been over stimulated and are in a constant state of overdrive. Even when we are asleep our brains are constantly thinking, even if it is in the form of dreams! Obviously that isn’t a negative on it’s own, in fact sleep is crucial for the brain. But when you add everything up it’s a lot for a brain that has only been subject to this much stimuli for around 15 years - the first iPhone only came out 13 years ago.

As you discovered just before, learning to “not think” doesn’t happen instantly. Like you, when I first attempted to sit in silence and tried to focus on my breath it did not work. My monkey mind remained supreme. Once again I was convinced that it wasn’t for me. But like all skills, meditation takes time and discipline to both learn, and improve.

I’m not saying this to deter you, it’s just the truth. An easy comparison might be to say that you wanted to learn how to play a musical instrument. It would be ridiculous to expect that you would be able to play your favourite song after your first time attempting to pick up the instrument. The same logic can be applied to meditation. It takes time, practice and discipline - however unlike musical instruments, you bring your mind to all situations in life. In my opinion, sharpening your ability to think is well worth the investment. According to scientific studies Mindfulness meditation induces big changes in the minds of experts, but when beginners first meditate not much happens.

At its core, the aim of meditation is to become more present in each moment by focusing and training attention and awareness. This is to achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm and stable state. This in turn gives you the ability to have significantly more control of how you react to external and internal stimuli when they arise in your life.

In Mindfulness meditation, the goal is to act as an observer whilst focusing on your breath, watching your conscious experience as thoughts and sensations arise and disappear.

As mentioned earlier we are often multi tasking, with tech and external stimuli, but even whilst we are not, we remain deep in thought. We are often living in the past or in the future through memory rather than in each and every moment.

Meditation helps you learn how to not be constantly reactive to stimuli on the inside or outside. When I meditate, I find that it simply quiets my mind. It’s a simple reset of the brain allowing me to slow down and focus solely on the present.

Another way of looking at it is that meditation is like going to the gym. You can see it as a way of working out your mind. To begin with your mind will wander, time traveling from the past to the future. But with practice you can slowly train your mind to become more present.

Being present throughout the day allows me to consciously make better decisions, rather than just remaining on autopilot.

As hedge fund billionaire Ray Dalio puts it “When you're centred, your emotions are not hijacking you”. “Meditation is 'the single most important reason for my success.”

If you are looking to start meditation, Mindfulness meditation apps are a great way to initially learn how to meditate. I still find myself using one most days. Having tried all of them, I would recommend Sam Harris’ Waking Up app. Its thirty day training course is clear and concise and an awesome starting point to learn how to meditate. After that, new daily meditations appear on the app. Harris is a Neuroscientist and an Atheist and breaks meditation down in a way that is less spiritual which might make more sense to a western audience.

Worried it’s going to cost too much? If you can’t afford a subscription, you can email the help section and receive a one year free subscription. No questions asked. You have no excuse not to try it!

Other Mindfulness app alternatives are:

- Headspace - Andy Puddicombe

- Smiling Mind (An Australian non-profit alternative)

For further learning check out these guys:

Sam Harris, Mooji, Ram Dass and Andy Puddicombe

I am by no means an expert in this field, I just wanted to share something which has improved the quality of my life by at least 10%. I hope that it works for you too!

#meditation #mindfullness #wakeup #samharris #mooji #ramdass #headspace

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soocouldbemyonlystar · 5 years ago

Text

Chaebols: The Arrangement Pt11

The Final Chapter

Genre: Chaebols AU/ romance/ fluff/ angst

Pairing: Kyungsoo x OC

Length:6.5k

Song recs for this chapter: Be the One by Dua Lipa and Born Again by Tiffany Young

Full playlist for Chaebols: The Arrangement

First Previous Pt11 Prequel

cover by the incredible @soobadnoonecanstopher

In Jongdae’s apartment, Jae-Eun lay in his couch. Her head rested in his lap and in silence Jongdae smoothed her hair away from her face. Tears poured quietly, leaving a damp spot in his pants. If it bothered him, he didn’t say a word. Like Jae-Eun knew Jongdae needed comforting words, he knew she didn’t. Jae-Eun needed someone to lean on but encouraging words were of no help. Silent support was all she wanted.

It had been almost two weeks since Jae-Eun had walked in on Kyungsoo and Mi-Sun in his office. Two weeks since Jae realized he didn’t want to let that woman go.

Jae didn’t know if she had been a distraction for Kyungsoo, just something to do until Mi-Sun decided she was ready to play with him again. Or he could be using her to make Mi-Sun jealous. Whatever the reason it was, he had taken Jae-Eun for a fool.

And she had fallen for it whole-heartedly. The sad eyes, pretty promises out of pretty lips, smiles and secret, stolen glances. She had fallen hard for all of it. Jae-Eun believed every word until she saw him knelt at Mi-Sun’s side just like the day they had gotten married. The progress she thought they had made over the last year was a lie. He never intended to move on. Everything she thought she knew was wrong.

The ears fell harder. It hurt, everything hurt. She thought she would eventually get past it. But right now, she needed to grieve.

But she had messed up so much worse than anyone knew. In her grief she neglected herself. Didn’t pay attention to her body. At first there was a lack of appetite, which could be contributed to her emotions. Jae had spent most of that time asleep, so it had been easy to ignore the hunger pain. Then she got sick, unable to keep anything down even when she tried. Her head began to pound uncontrollably, no position, level of darkness, lack of sound or scent would deter the pain.

Jongdae was at work, and Jae-Eun was lucky that his ex-girlfriend Soo-Young had shown up when she did. Jae-Eun had barely made it to open the door before she fainted from the pain. Soo-Young rushed her to the hospital where Dae had met them. She had been so severely dehydrated that any longer and Jae would have gone into shock.

Jae was pissed off at herself for not recognizing the symptoms.

“Eonni,” Soo-Young’s voice brought her out of the thoughts, “You should drink. The tea is still warm, and you don’t want to get sick again.”

Sniffling, Jae-Eun sat up, wiping away her tears and taking the mug of tea.

“Thank you,” she told Soo-Young before bringing the mug to her lips, letting the warm liquid flow down her throat.

The moment it hit her stomach it turned, she heaved and Jongdae produced the trash can he kept close to them. He moved strands of loose hair as she retched into the can, emptying the limited contents of her stomach.

Jae-Eun repeated the process a couple more times before the tea finally settled and she could hold it down. The taste left in her mouth made her feel nauseous, so she excused her self to the bathroom to brush her teeth and rinse. It would likely prompt even more nausea, but she had to try.

When she returned Jongdae pulled her in to his arms.

“Jae-Eun-ah he started as he rubbed circles into her back. “You should call…”

“No…” He was the last person she wanted to see right now. A few weeks ago, she had been secure in her future with or without Kyungsoo. But he had stolen an chance she had at getting past this.

“I said I needed time.”

“Yeah, but you’re sick.”

“I’m not dying, Oppa.”

She was surprised Kyungsoo had given her the space she asked for. Well… kind of anyways. He called Jongdae daily and had texted her almost as often.

Tuesday, 8:34 pm

Soo: Please talk to me…

Wednesday, 10:30 am

Soo: I put in time off for you.

Wednesday, 10:36 am

Soo: Let me explain… please.

Thursday, 5: 50 pm

Soo: Come on baby, call me.

Saturday, 3:12 pm

Soo: please

Tuesday, 6:45 am

Soo: it’s been a week

Thursday, 11:45 pm

Soo: I just want to hear your voice

Saturday, 2:00 pm

Soo: I miss you

As much as she hated it, she missed him too. She missed the days spent quiet in each other’s arms, and the nights up late talking about anything and everything. She missed his eyes peering through his glasses at her as she painted in their office. She missed watching him cook, and the way he hummed when doing menial tasks. She missed the way her hand fit into his and how his lips felt on her skin.

The tears started falling again.

Soo Young sighed, sitting next to Jae and wrapping her in a hug. Jae leaned her head on Soo-Youngs shoulder and let them flow. There was no stopping them anyway.

The building buzzer rang and Jongdae stood to check the display.

“Um, Jae, he’s here.”

Jae-Eun shook her head. She wasn’t ready.

“Sorry little brother, she doesn’t want to see you yet.”

Kyungsoo’s smooth calm voice came back over the comm.

“So help me, Hyung. I will burn this building down to get to her.

She was afraid this was going to happen. The last thing she wanted was to cause a rift between Kyungsoo and Jongdae.

He moved again to protest but Jae stopped him.

“Jongdae, it’s okay.”

He watched as she wiped her tears away and smoothed her hair back into its bun before he hit the button to let Kyungsoo up.

“Do you want us to leave?” Dae asked.

“Please don’t, I’m not ready to do this alone.”

He and Soo-Young agreed and when Kyungsoo walked in they stood like a shield between him and her.

Kyungsoo nodded to the other two but his eyes stayed on her.

“Jae,” his voice was calm but assertive, “I got you point. It’s time to come home.”

“No,” she said simply.

“What do you mean no? I’ve waited for two weeks for you to come home. What do you want me to say? I don’t love her, I love you, now get your things and let’s go.”

Jae stood a little too quickly, but she recovered before Kyungsoo could notice.

“Are you kidding me? The level of her voice was making her nauseous again,” Let’s say for a minute I believe you, and I’m not inclined to, why would I go anywhere with you after a confession like that?”

Kyungsoo sighed, “Is there any way I could confess that would make you believe me?”

She shook her head.

“Then what’s the point. You won’t talk to me or let me explain.” “What’s to explain, you had your tongue down her throat.” Jae shot back.

“I didn’t have my tongue down her throat. I was trying to push her away.”

“Didn’t look like that to me. And let’s not forget the whole ‘you don’t love me like you love her’ confession.”

“Is that all you heard?”

“What more do I need to hear.”

“A lot,” Kyungsoo spat, “There was so much more to that conversation.”

Jongdae and Soo-Young shifted uncomfortably as his voice grew louder.

“It doesn’t matter, she’s obviously thorough jealous and wants you back, so you get what you want.”

“I already told you want I wanted. Damn, Jae, can’t we talk about this at home?”

“You lost the right to choose where we have this conversation.”

“If I wanted her, why am I not with her now? Why and I here begging you to come home? Why am I sleeping in the damn penthouse instead of our home, because the thought of being there without you makes me sick.”

He moved toward her but Jongdae side stepped in Kyungsoo’s way. He gave Dae a slitted look but didn’t push further.

“I won’t fall for your pretty words again.” She mumbled.

“Pretty words? Jae, you know I’m shit at telling you how I really feel. So what? You think this was all a lie?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“If I really wanted her, what reason would I have to lie now?”

“I don’t know, you keep promising the truth, but I have yet to hear it.”

Kyungsoo ran a hand through his hair. “You want the truth? How about I didn’t want my wife to know how big an idiot I was. How about the fact that I got played, from the very damn beginning? I was stupid and naïve, and I gave her everything she wanted and didn’t ask a damn question. Or how about it’s your damn fault I got involved with her in the first place?”

“I didn’t even know you then, that doesn’t make sense.”

“But I knew you,” He didn’t hesitate, “When did your parents tell you it was me they wanted you to marry?”

She sighed, pressing her fingers in the back of her neck to relieve the ache. “I don’t remember, in college maybe. Yeah, they didn’t approve of Nate. I was told I could date if I wanted, but I would be expected to marry you once I came home.”

“Our mothers are best friends. Do you really think they only came up with this when we were in college?”

He had a point, though her mother never gave a name before university, she had always seemed to be talking about a specific person in regard to Jae-Eun marrying.

“I’ve known since I was ten. You went to a different primary school but transferred to our high school. Your bullies didn’t stop messing with you because you hung out with the upperclassmen. Mom told me about you being bullied. They quit because I cornered them and threatened to have their parents fired from my company or call in favors if they didn’t work for my dad. I knew who you were then, and I didn’t mind. I kind of like that my parents had someone picked out for me. You were pretty and likable enough from what I could tell. I would even meet Jongdae after his art class so that I could see you, but I didn’t think it was right to talk to you if you didn’t know who I was.”

“Gee thanks, Kyungsoo-yah. Nice to know our little tradition was because you wanted to see a girl.” Jongdae whined.

Jae-Eun huffed in annoyance, “What does this have to do with her?”

Kyungsoo continued, “One day in third year you didn’t show. Or any day after that. Your parents had sent you to the states, I was pissed. Here is this girl who was supposed to be mine, and I wasn’t even informed when you were sent away.”

“I don’t’ belong to you. Why should you have been told?”

“I know that now. But then I was angry. I could have gone with you so that you weren’t alone. It felt like an ambush. But I mostly blamed myself, if I had said something to you, had we become friends then, maybe you would have stayed. So Jongin and I made a promise to each other not to marry the women our parents arranged for us.” Kyungsoo explained.

Jongdae belted, “That was because of her.”

“This is ridiculous.” Jae-Eun hissed.

“That was caused by Lee Jae-Eun.” He confirmed. “My hope, when I was sent to the states, was to find a woman to bring home so that I could marry who I chose, not someone who was chosen for me. That’s when I met Mi-Sun. She was my choice, and it was the biggest mistake of my life. But I didn’t cheat Jae.”

Jae-Eun felt the tears well in her eyes.

“When we went on that first date, Mi-Sun had just told be she was pregnant. So, I had given up on everything. But you walked into that coffee shop with this confidence. You were still the same girl I liked in high school, but it was like the air around you changed. It was hard to take my eyes off you. You were professional and poised, and you had this plan to make this marriage work and for the first time in years I was actually interested in something other than Mi-sun. But I wasn’t ready to let her go. I wanted to I just wasn’t ready and I took that out on you.”

She wanted to believe him, she wanted it to be the truth. Jae just didn’t know if she could trust what he said ever again.

Her emotions mixed with hormones made her stomach churn uncontrollably. A hard sob sent it over the edge and Jae-Eun dropped to her knees, dry heaving into the can.

“Jae!” She heard his voice in the distance.

Soo-Young came to her side, holding back her hair, rubbing circles into her back.

“What’s wrong with her?” Kyungsoo demanded, “why do you keep acting like you have to protect her from me?”

“I’m not trying to, but you need to back off. She’s sick.”

“Kim Jongdae.” Jae managed a warning before her stomach finally emptied.

“I’m sorry, Jae-Eun-ah,” Dae said when she managed to stop retching. “He’s my brother, I can’t lie to him anymore.”

“You promised.” She cried.

“But I didn’t,” Soo-Young came to her feet and stood beside Jongdae. “Your wife just got out of the hospital last night. She was extremely dehydrated, and close to going into shock.”

He moved forward again, but Jae-Eun held her had up for him to stop.

“Why wasn’t I told. She’s my wife damnit.”

Jongdae placed a hand on his shoulder, “I was there as her guardian. We didn’t have to inform you and she asked me not to.”

“She has a condition called hyperemesis gravidarum.” Soo-Young explained. “It’s a very severe form of morning sickness.”

There was silence from him at first. Jae-Eun slid off her knees and rested back against the couch. She sniffled as she wiped the tears (some from crying, some from the stain of vomiting).

Kyungsoo was hidden from her sight by Dae and Soo-Young, her hand in his.

“Are you saying…” He couldn’t finish the sentence.

“Yes, she’s pregnant.”

Jae heard a shuffle and a loud bang as Kyungsoo backed into the wall and slid down to the floor. Jongdae knelt at his side as Soo-Young turned back to check on Jae-Eun.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered to Jae-Eun, “I couldn’t let Dae do it.”

Jae-Eun nodded in understanding. Jongdae was doing much better, but who knew what could send him spiraling. She brushed more tears again. With his head between his knees, Kyungsoo’s shoulders bounced. She would have thought he was crying, but the sound he emitted was nowhere near a cry.

He was laughing.

When he raised his head, his face was contorted into a half-smile-half-sneer.

“You’re having my baby, and we can’t even be happy about it. I told you I would fuck this up. You should have run when my mom gave you the chance.”

His voice broke and the smile disappeared. Kyungsoo breathed heavily and Jae thought she saw moisture in his eyes.

With Jongdae’s help, Kyungsoo rose to his feet.

“Baby, please come home. Let me take care of you. We can work this out… please.” He begged.

“I’m not leaving you. I made a promise and I intend to keep it.” Jae assured him. “But, I’m not ready to go home with you. I still need more time.”

There was something in his face that looked like hopelessness to Jae. It almost had her changing her mind, but then she remembered just good at acting Kyungsoo really was.

He nodded his head, turning away, but he thought better of it. Shoving his hand in the pocket of his jeans, he produced a USB drive.

“The time that Mi-Sun walked in on us in my office, she didn’t know that Secretary Yoon told me she always asked if I was alone before she came in. So she would have had to know that you were in there with me. I didn’t trust her after that, so I have audio and video installed and Secretary Yoon would turn it on every time Mi-Sun showed up.”

He knelt next to her, taking her hand and slipping the drive into her palm.

“If you want to know what really happened it’s on this drive,” Kyungsoo closed her fingers around the box. Then he placed a kiss to the back of her hand, pressing it against his cheek.

Jae-Eun closed her eyes for a second and allowed herself to feel, to take in the sensation of his skin against hers.

Then he released it and stood.

“I’ll give you whatever time and space you need. You know where I’ll be and how to get a hold of me when you are ready.”

He turned to the door but Jae-Eun needed to know something before he left.

“Kyungsoo,” she called after him. “How can I ever trust you when you keep her by your side.”

“Yoo Mi-Sun no longer works for Ganghan.” He said simply. “Monday is the last day of her notice.”

“Why?”

“She tried to wreck our marriage. Let’s just say when given the option between a new position in Busan and a sexual harassment lawsuit, she chose the former.”

Jae-Eun remained silent, unsure of how to respond to that. She knew there was no guarantee she would go through with it. Jae-Eun had learned that hoping, when it came to Kyungsoo, was futile.

“I love you.” Kyungsoo’s voice was solid and confident. “I know it may not matter to you now, but you deserve to hear it. I love you more than anything.”

He turned to Jongdae, “Take care of her for me, Hyung.”

Then he walked out the door.

Jae tossed the USB on the table like it was toxic. She didn’t want to hear his confession again, or to see their passionate exchange. But more than anything she didn’t want to watch as he rushed to her side protectively.

Jae climbed to her feet slowly so she wouldn’t agitate the nausea and dizziness. With out a word to Jongdae and Soo-Young, she walked out of the room. The taste of bile lingered, so she brushed her teeth. It would be important for her to maintain this if the sickness were to be a regular occurrence. From what the doctor told her, anything could set it off and it could last anywhere from a few months to the entire pregnancy.

Pregnancy!

Jae-Eun hadn’t’ let herself believe it yet. But Kyungsoo knew, she couldn’t avoid it anymore. She couldn’t continue to wallow in self-pity any more because she was having Kyungsoo’s baby, and she was happy about it. No matter what their baby was a good thing. She could focus her time raising their child, the next heir to the Ganghan empire, and not waste her time caring about who her husband did or didn’t love.

When she came out of the bathroom, Jae-Eun had renewed strength.

Jongdae and Soo-Young sat on the couch with a laptop, the drive slotted on the right side.

“I know you don’t trust him.” Jongdae spoke over the back of the couch. “But I think he is telling the truth. You should watch the video.”

He was right, of course. Jae-Eun needed to know. Seeing the whole picture would be important if she were ever going to find a way past this.

So, the nodded and joined them on the couch. “I will watch it if you stay with me.”

Jongdae sighed, “okay, which one is it?”

“There,” she pointed, “that was the date.”

Jongdae’s fingers moved over the touchpad, selection the video and hitting play.

Kyungsoo and Jae-Eun stood together as Mi-Sun stepped into his office.

“CEO, Director Lee.” Mi-Sun bowed.

“Director Yoo.”

“Early as always, Director.” Kyungsoo’s voice was clipped.

“Yes, sir.”

Jae-Eun turned back to Kyungsoo, “I’ll see you at home.”

She placed a kiss to his cheek then whispered something that was inaudible. As she turned away Kyungsoo grabbed her hand, pressing it to his chest.

“Be safe,” he released her and Jae-Eun walked out of the office, leaving Kyungsoo and Mi-Sun alone together.

Mi-Sun stepped forward, tossing the binger on the table where Kyungsoo took his in-office meetings.

“The others are running a bit late, but they will be here soon.” She told him.

Je leaned back against his desk, crossing his arms and acknowledged her.

“You look happy.” She noted.

“I am,” he responded.

“It’s a complete one-eighty from what I saw at your wedding.”

Kyungsoo pulled his glasses off and tossed them back on his desk.

“We had a rough start. Jae-Eun and I … we figured things out. Everything is good. It’s really good.”

Mi-Sun came up next to him, “You’re in love with her?”

A smile formed on Kyungsoo’s face that was visible across the distance from the camera.

“Yeah, I’m in love with her.”

“But you don’t love her like you love me.”

Kyungsoo’s smile faded and he stepped out of Mi-Suns touch.

“You’re right. I don’t.”

Jae-Eun felt the daggers in her chest again. It was worse than the first time. Kyungsoo told Mi-Sun he was he was in love with Jae-Eun only to turn right around and contradict himself. To say it wasn’t enough.

She wanted to be done, but his voice caught her attention again.

“Loving you had be twisted and broken. I felt like I was drowning all the time. With Jae, it’s like I can breathe again. She’s my air. She doesn’t try to control me or stand on my coat tails. She stands beside me. Jae-Eun is my partner. I never loved you the way I love her.”

Mi-Sun approached him again. “How could you say that after everything we have been through. I messed up, I know I did. But I still love you and I still want to be with you.”

Kyungsoo backed away again, “Why are you telling me this now? After I said I’m in love and happy.”

Kyungsoo made quick eye contact with the camera.

“Because I’m not happy and I miss you. It kills me that I sent you into someone else’s arms.”

He huffed, “You van stop how. I don’t believe a word you say. All you know how to do is lie.”

Mi-Sun threw herself at him then, grabbing onto his lapels, pulling him down, plastering her lips to his.

Kyungsoo pushed her back, “Yoo Mi-Sun!”

But she flung her arms around his neck pulling him back down keeping him locked there.

His hands grabbed her hips and pushed against her. Then the door slammed.

Jae-Eun watched herself step out of her heels, stalk over to them and plant her fist in Mi-Suns face.

Jongdae released a loud, “ooohhh,” as M-Sun fell to the ground.

But Jae kept her eyes on Kyungsoo as she grabbed her around the waist and stopped her from attacking. His focus seemed to be more on her than the bleeding woman on the floor of his office. Then he jerked a few tissues from the box and knelt down, presenting the tissue to Mi-Sun between two fingers, turning away as soon as she took it.

Jae-Eun had been wrong. It wasn’t like their wedding day when he had run to Mi-Sun’s side worried for her wellbeing. He seemed annoyed to have had to help her. Kyungsoo was curt and called her director instead of by her name. But it could just be that he was at work and was trying to be professional given the situation.

Then he told Jae-Eun to go home.

The door slammed a second time.

Kyungsoo picked up the black binder and walked behind his desk.

Taking he seat he spoke. “You should go to the hospital and have that checked out. I’ll go over your numbers and conduct the meeting without you.”

He slid his glasses back on to look over the papers.

“Not until you call the authorities, Kyungsoo. That woman is crazy.”

“You expect me to call the police on my own wife. Are you out of your mind?”

“You saw her attack me. She’s out of control. I’m sure my nose is broken.” She pushed him as she stood up.

“And tell them what exactly? She walked in on you sexually harassing her husband. Are you planning on explaining that to the police?”

“It was just a kiss, Kyungsoo.”

“One that was unwanted and unsolicited.” He fumed, “Your nose is still bleeding, you should really focus on taking care of that.”

He skimmed through the binder, not showing her much attention. He sounded disinterested in anything Mi-Sun was saying.

“Kyungsoo…”

“I’m not calling the police on Jae-Eun. If you decide to pursue this further then I’m just going to have to file a complaint of my own.”

“Kyungsoo, if you love me you will…”

“I don’t love you,” Kyungsoo’s voice boomed across his office. “And I’m done feeling responsible for you and your son.”

Mi-Sun gawked.

“Now go get yourself checked out, send the bill to Secretary Yoon, and leave me and my wife alone.”

“Kyungsoo…” She pushed again.

He dropped the binder and picked up his phone. “Secretary Yoon, could you call a driver for Director Yoo. She needs to make a trip to the hospital. Thank you.”

He replaced the receiver and looked back at Mi-Sun.

“They are expecting you Director.” Kyungsoo spoke to Mi-Sun with the same disdain he had shown Jae-Eun when they were first together.

Mi-Sun huffed, but she turned and stomped out of his office.

Kyungsoo picked the binder back up just before the video cut off.

Jae-Eun sat in silence. Her brain didn’t seem to be working. The information didn’t want to process correctly.

Jondae spoke up, “And now I remember why we never liked her.”

Jae-Eun came to her feet. Her mind wasn’t working but her body propelled her forward.

“Where are you going?” Jongdae asked as she pulled her keys out of the dish by the door and changed from her slippers to her shoes.

“I was wrong. I have to go. I need to go home.”

She didn’t wait for a response before she was out the door and in the elevator. The ride down took centuries, time for her head to catch up with her heart.

Jae had only seen and heard what she had expected to, hot what really happened. She hadn’t noticed the blandness of his voice when he spoke to Mi-Sun, the disinterest. She didn’t notice his body language. The way his hands were pushing at her hips not pulling her to him. Hw he’d knelt just to pass along the tissue, not to make sure she was okay.

Kyungsoo had been right those months ago when he told her she had one foot out the door. Jae thought her insecurities were fading, but the moment Mi-Sun posed any kind of threat, Jae had been prepared to flee. God how could she ever make up for what she put him through for the past two weeks.

When the elevator opened, she burst through the doors taking the lobby at a jog. It was a risk with her stomach on overdrive, but she didn’t care.

Jae kept her speed outside to find her car, only she noticed the one in the building looked like Kyungsoo’s.

Jae-Eun slowed her pace as she recognized the figure in the driver seat. Hands gripping tow and ten, his forehead pressed against the steering wheel, Kyungsoo’s shoulders heaved. He hadn’t even made it out of the parking lot yet.

She laughed, tears pouring in torrents. Her idiot husband, the love of the life, was crying in his car.

She came around to his door and knocked on his window. He jumped, lifting his head, his eyes widened when he saw her.

Jae-Eun stepped back as he jumped out of the car.

“Is everything okay? What’s wrong? Do you need to go back to the hospital?” he bombarded her with questions.

She laughed through a sob as he brought her hands up to wipe the tears away from Kyungsoo’s cheeks. A red spot lined his forehead from where it had rested on the steering wheel.

“Are you really going to make your pregnant wife pack her bags by herself?” She cried.

Kyungsoo stammered, “you… You’re coming home?”

She nodded her head and Kyungsoo wrapped her up in his arms.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you.”

“No, I’m sorry,” he inserted, “I will never do anything to make you doubt me again. I love you so much and I should have told you.”

“You were right, I was so insecure, I thought you would leave me for her, and I didn’t see what was really happening.”

Kyungsoo laughed. “You are stuck with me now. I have my wonderful wife and a baby on the way. I will never leave you. Not for anything.”

He peppered her face with kisses, and Jae-Eun giggled at the gesture.

“Can we just be happy now. Madam Do?”

Jae-Eun agreed, “at least until I have to throw up again.”

His smile faded in concern, “Is it that bad?”

Kyungsoo draped his arm around her shoulder as he turned them back to the building.

“Oh my God, it’s so bad.” She replied as they started back to the building. “So you liked me in high school.”

“I did. And I have a feeling you’re not going to let me live that down.”

“Nope, it’s forever ammo.”

It was warm, familiar, and safe when she woke, surrounded by objects and smells she was accustomed to. Kyungsoo lay, still sleeping, next to her, his face obscured in a tangle of her hair, his hand splayed out protectively over her belly.

The happy feeling lasted all of ten seconds before her stomach had her making a run for the bathroom. Jae-Eun barely made it to the toilet before emptying her stomach, then dry heaving for a solid five minutes. At some point her hair was pulled away from her face and a toasty hand rubbed comfort into her back.

When she was finally done, she crawled over, propping herself up against the wall. Kyungsoo wet down a wash cloth and handed it to her as she took the floor in front of her.

“Good morning, beautiful.” He smiled lightly at her.

Jae wiped her face and neck down.

“This is not exactly how you pictured you saying that to me.” She told him.

“How exactly did you picture it?”

“I don’t know, wrapped up in each other’s arms in bed when we first wake up in the morning. Definitely not while I’m covered in sweat, tears, and vomit on the bathroom floor.”

Kyungsoo took the cloth back patting it around her face.

“Well you are growing my baby. You look beautiful even on the floor covered in sweat, tears and vomit.”

“Now you’re just kissing my ass.” She teased.

“And I will continue to do so. At least for the next eight or so months.” He explained, helping her to her feet slowly, “Are you sure you want to go to work today. You can take a leave of absence or work from home.”

She shook her head lightly, “I want to keep things as normal as possible for as long as possible.”

Kyungsoo didn’t like it, but he agreed.

Getting breakfast to stay down was challenging. Nari hovered over her, jumping at every move. Kyungsoo wasn’t any better.

They both thought it was better to wait a while to announce the news to the company, so Kyungsoo had a member of the cleaning staff assigned solely to her office. One under instructions to keep her condition a secret.

Jae-Eun felt bad for the woman. The biggest part of the time she only dry heaved, but she had to force fluids or be at risk of dehydration again. So, the woman was kept busy.

Jae-Eun mostly stayed to her work and was able to keep control while she spoke with her staff, but half way through the day she knew it would be difficult to do this for very long.

She was scanning through the slide prints for the new ad pitch when her phone rang.

“Lee Jae-Eun.” She rattled off, her head still in the slides.

“Have you been able to keep any thing down?” Kyungsoo’s voice came across the receiver.

“Yes dear.” She teased.

"I'm going to bring lunch up down in a bit. We can eat together so I can be there if you get sick." He asked.

"Mmm" she agreed.

"I thought I should let you know, she is here today. I didn’t think she would show, but she clocked in." Kyungsoo warned her. Again, the disdain he had shown Jae-Eun when they were first married was thick in his throat as he spoke about Mi-Sun.

Jae-Eun smiled. She never though he would speak to her with such love while referring to Mi-Sun with distaste and annoyance.

"Are you okay baby?" His smooth baritone sang to her across the line.

"Absolutely," she said with the confidence of a woman who knew where her man stood. "I'm not worried. She will likely keep her head down and finish her last day. I'm looking forward to lunch. Well kind of anyways."

She wanted to have lunch with Kyungsoo, but was not looking forward to the eventual, barf session.

He showed up some time later with a bowl of broth and crackers.

" I figured we could start off simple and see what will be easier on your stomach. Also, it said if you eat smaller more frequent meals and snack, it may help control the sickness some." He explained.

"Look at you, doing your research." She doted.

"You are already going to go through so much, I want to make things as easy as possible. Secretary Yoon was able to get a hold of everyone. So we have the weekend with all the guy and the family to tell them the news.”

They had plan to tell their immediate family, only that also extended to Kyungsoo’s brothers... all eight of them.

Broth and crackers were not easy.

She had to send him back to his office. Kyungsoo had an important meeting after lunch, but he didn’t want to leave with her feeling sick.

The remainder of the day was quiet. So far, the first day back had been relatively easy. Her staff were competent enough that she didn’t have to hover or micromanage.

Everyone else had left for the day and Jae had finished editing slides, when she decided to head home. She grabbed her bag out of her desk and when she stood, a figure at the door had her jumping.

Mi-Sun stood just inside her office.

“Mrs. Yoo, it’s not polite to lurk in some one’s doorway.” Jae-Eun chastised.

She stood with her keys and pushed her chair into her desk.

“You think you won.” Mi-Sun murmured.

“Won what exactly? I’m not playing a game Mi-Sun. This is my life. I don’t have time for games.”

Mi-Sun snickered. “He may think he loves you now. But he will come back to me. He always comes back to me.”

Jae-Eun didn’t falter. She shrugged. “I don’t think so. But if he does then I hope the two of you are happy together.”

“You are a smug little bitch, turning your nose up at everyone. You don’t want to admit that you can’t control him.”

“I don’t want to control him. I like him just the way he is. If he wants to be controlled, I’m sure he’ll go find you again. And I don’t turn my nose up at anyone, I just don’t have to patience to deal with immaturity and drama. I never have and he knows it.” Jae-Eun remarked.

“He only wants you for your money.”

“No, Mi-Sun that’s you.”

The woman huffed.

Jae recognized Mi-Sun’s last-ditch effort to get between her and Kyungsoo. It wouldn’t work this time. Kyungsoo’s feelings were clear in his behavior. If he still had feelings for Mi-Sun he wouldn’t have sent her away. No, Kyungsoo was done with her. And Jae-Eun wouldn’t fall for her tricks.

“You can believe what you want, but he won’t ever forget me.”

“Probably not, and most likely not in a good light. But there is something I want to send you away with.” Jae-Eun shortened the distance between them.

Mi-Sun raised an eyebrow.

“Before you, before your lies, before he loved you, there was me. For longer than you could even imagine. He was mine first.”

Mi-Sun seethed. The look in her eyes were dangerous, but Jae-Eun wasn’t intimidated.

“What’s going on here.” Kyungsoo’s voice came from behind Mi-Sun.

“Oh, Kyungsoo, I was just apolo…” Mi-Sun started.

She trailed off as Kyungsoo passed her without a look and came to Jae-Eun’s side.

“Mi-Sun was saying her goodbyes.” Jae-Eun told him.

The woman was flustered. Especially when Kyungsoo wrapped his arm around Jae-Eun’s shoulders, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“Are you okay.” His hand came to her belly.

“We’re okay.” Jae-Eun whispered, covering his hand with hers.

“So, your pregnant.” Mi-Sun demanded.

At this point, Jae-Eun was finished with this woman.

“That is none of your business.” She snapped. “Now get the hell out of our building. You no longer work here.”

Mi-Sun whined, “Kyungsoo.”

“You heard her.” He remarked.

Mi-Sun huffed as she turned and stomped to the elevators.

Kyungsoo and Jae-Eun watched as she disappeared.

He turned wrapping his other arm around her, his lips brushed against hers gently.

“She will be in Busan tomorrow. And completely out of our lives.”

Jae shook her head, “Not completely. She will always be a part of our story. But it’s a chapter we can close now.”

“And keep closed… forever.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Kyungsoo released her shoulders, he took her hand in his.

“I have something for you.”

He wrapped his fingers around her wedding band, pulled it from her finger and held it up.

“This is the ring I gave to a woman who was arranged to marry me.” He tossed the ring on her desk and pulled a box out of his jacket. He produced another ring from the box and held it up to her. It was a simple band just like she preferred, silver and rose gold with a row of small diamonds inlayed across the middle.

“This is the ring I had made for the woman I choose the spend the rest of my life with.” He slid the ring on. “I love you, so no more arrangement. Just be my wife.”

Jae-Eun held her hand up and studied the ring.

“I kind of miss my quiet husband who, wasn’t so sappy and emotional.”

Kyungsoo pursed his lips and narrowed her eyes. “It’s all your fault. You opened the flood gates.”

“That I did,” she smiled, “I love you too, real husband.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck taking his lips with complete abandon. He followed, even though her office door was open.

Once they were both breathless, Kyungsoo pressed his forehead against hers.

“Let’s go home.” He whispered.

“Home it is.”

authors note: It’s been a long ride with this fic. I want to thank everyone that stuck with me though the droughts and all of the love and support I received while writing it. The Arrangement may be over but the Chaebols series is not and Jae and Soo will show up again.

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three-drink-amy · 5 years ago

Text

Sweet Creature

Claire and Jamie have been best friends since they met at university. When Claire decided to leave medical school to pursue her dreams, Jamie was the first to support her. Five years later, they’re still best friends. But two conflicts stand poised to hurt their friendship: Jamie’s stake in her business and Claire’s secret enduring love for him.

Chapter One

The bell dinged, signaling the arrival of a late customer. Claire rolled her eyes, wishing more than anything that she could close the store and get home quickly. She plastered on a fake smile and walked out to greet the new guest. A sigh of relief echoed through the mostly empty room when she saw who it was.

“Oh thank god, it’s just you.”

“Just me?” Jamie teased. “I’m so flattered, Sassenach.”

Claire scoffed, walking past him to turn the “Open” sign to “Closed.” “You know what I mean. I was afraid it was the type of person who comes in two minutes before closing time and wants the world.”

“Jerks.”

Claire paused and watched Jamie for a moment. “Yes, in fact, they are.” She started walking back behind the counter and into the kitchen. “Come on. If you’re here, you might as well help me.”

Jamie shrugged. “Very well.” He rolled back the sleeves of his button down shirt and prepared himself to help Claire close down the bakery. She’d allowed most of the employees to leave a few minutes earlier. On days like that day, she liked to take the time to close things down on her own. It reminded her of how it was in the beginning.

It had been 5 years since she opened her bakery, Sassenach Sweets. The name had been inspired by Jamie’s nickname for her. Really, it was a way to thank him. She had been in the trenches of medical school and hating it. After many tearful conversations over pizza and beer, Jamie told Claire to pursue her dreams and do what she really wanted to do. And what she really wanted to do was bake. Knowing she could never own her own bakery, Claire gave up hope pretty quickly. But fate, and then Jamie, had other plans. He’d been on a spur of the moment trip with his brother-in-law to New York City when he bought a lottery ticket as a joke and then won. 3.5 million dollars had completely changed Jamie’s life. And then he changed Claire’s. He gave her the money she needed to start her own bakery, including funds for the store and equipment. Achieving her dreams had all come down to his generosity and support. It was something she never forgot.

Glasgow had apparently been the perfect place to open Sassenach Sweets. Within two years, Claire was opening a second store on the other side of town, due to high demand. There were many days she still couldn’t believe she’d actually followed her dreams, and more than that, that she’d succeeded.

“What brought you by?” Claire asked as she stood at the sink, washing pans.

“Eh, I was just thinking about ye,” Jamie replied vaguely.

Claire looked over at him as he scrubbed at a baking sheet. “Why?” She asked, her eyes narrowing.

A small smirk bloomed on Jamie’s face. “I ran into someone ye ken.”

“Oh god. Who?”

“Frank,” Jamie confessed.

“Where on earth would you run into Frank?” Claire wondered.

“Apparently, we go to the same barber.”

“Hmmm. I wonder how that never came up in all that time,” Claire mused.

Jamie rolled his eyes. “Tis no’ as though the man was ever fond of me. Ye may recall that he often avoided interactions with me.”

“To be fair, you did as well,” Claire reminded him.

“I at least tried. He was yer man and I wanted to give him a chance. He canna say the same,” Jamie defended.

“He was just crappy all around.”

Jamie looked over at Claire and watched her for a moment. “Ye ken ye never told me the true reason why ye left Frank.”

“What? Yes I have!”

“No, no’ really,” he insisted. “Ye said it just wasna working out. Tha’s no’ a real reason.”

Claire breathed out a sigh. “Frank had this great idea that he was going to manage the bakery for me so that I could focus on big picture stuff. But he never really seemed to care about me or what I wanted. It just always seemed like he wanted to be able to claim some of the success. And I wasn’t having that. I did this on my own. Well, aside from you.”

Jamie interrupted her. “Nah, ye did it on yer own.”

Claire smiled to herself. “Okay, well anyway, it was right around the time that I was working out the logistics of opening the second store and he wanted a piece of it. I didn’t really have the time for a relationship and I didn’t want to be with someone who only wanted me for my success. So I ended things.”

Jamie nodded. “Well, I still say, good for ye.”

Claire laughed. “Thanks, I suppose. It’s been quite a while now.”

“He still asked about ye,” Jamie informed her.

“Oh Lord. What did you say?”

“I was spending so much time trying to decide if I wanted to make up some story about ye finding some handsome, rich man or talk about yer massive success and in the time it took me to decide, he started talking about himself,” Jamie recalled.

Claire snorted. “Sounds about right.”

“Aye, I thought so as well. Ye were far too good for him, Sassenach.”

She looked over at him with a smile. “Thanks,” she said softly.

They worked in silence for a bit. Jamie assured her that he could handle washing dishes while she disassembled machines and put away the leftover pastries. Tomorrow they’d go to the homeless shelter a few blocks away. Day old pastries didn’t sell and Claire refused to waste them. Every morning on her way to work, she’d drop off the left overs from the day before.

Jamie was the first one to break the silence. “So did I tell ye about the new lass at work?”

Claire shook her head. “No. I believe the last one you mentioned was Laoghaire and that crashed and burned pretty quickly.”

“Oh, aye, and for a good reason,” Jamie remembered with a shiver. “Anyway, there’s this new lass at the office. She’s French.”

“Did St. Germain bring her on?”

“Aye, he did. Recruited her himself apparently,” Jamie confirmed.

“And the fact that your boss that you hate approves of her doesn’t deter you at all?” Claire asked with a raised brow.

“Perhaps it should. But she’s just...mesmerizing. She’s tall and blonde. She’s beautiful. I find myself staring out the door of my office just to see if she’ll walk by,” Jamie told her, a far-off look in his eyes.

“Well, she sounds special,” Claire replied with an almost flat expression. “What’s the girl’s name?”

Jamie smiled. “Annalise.”

Claire nodded to herself, focusing on the task at hand. “So how many days are you betting it’ll take before you get her to go out with you?”

Jamie shrugged. “I canna say. She’s been rebuffing me a bit. So I thought I’d call in a favor.”

“A favor, hmm?” Claire asked. She knew just where he was going with this.

“Ye ken how sometimes ye’ll prepare those wee baskets of yer treats and I take them into the office?” Claire nodded. “Well I was wondering if ye’d be able to do that for me. Soon, perhaps.”

Claire sighed. “Fine. But you have to promise that John will get at least one of them. He’d kill me if he didn’t.”

Jamie laughed, his head tilting back. “But of course!” He walked over to Claire and wrapped her in a hug. “Ye’re the best, Sassenach.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

He pulled back and looked at her. “I mean it. Ye’re a wonderful friend. And the best investment I ever made.”

A reluctant smile crossed Claire’s face. Even if it was silly, she always found it a bit endearing when Jamie referred to her as his investment. He was the only one who’d ever helped her with the bakery who’d never asked for something back. And it was the only way their friendship had prevailed. He gave her the money, ignoring her demands that he keep it, and told her to follow her dreams. She’d toss ideas back and forth with him as a way of keeping him in the loop as an investor. Each time, he’d simply say her vision was perfect.

The constant reminder of his part in helping her was what always got her to agree to his crazy ideas, like pastry baskets for his office. She didn’t mind and would never make him pay, but it wasn’t as though her time was endless.

It was two days later, after closing time that Joe keyed into the store to visit with Claire. She was laying croissant dough on a pan, ready to put them in the oven. “I thought it was after close. You don’t usually start this part this early.”

“I’m making a pastry basket for Jamie’s work,” she told him.

“Oh. I always love when you do that for me too,” Joe said with a smirk.

“You men. One at a time, please,” she laughed.

“No worries. It’s a hospital. People bring food in all the time,” Joe admitted.

Joe and Claire had met in their first year of medical school. They’d quickly become very good friends, bonding over being some of the only non-scots in their program. Joe had continued on and become a doctor after Claire had dropped out to open the bakery. Aside from some light teasing, Joe had been nothing but supportive of Claire’s choice to change paths. Joe and Jamie had carried her emotionally (and occasionally physically) through the process of starting her own business and making it grow. She often wondered where she’d be without the both of them. The little baskets were usually a thank you when they weren’t serving as shameless self promotion.

“So how was the hospital today?” Claire asked.

“Kinda boring, actually,” Joe admitted. “What about the bakery?”

“Well it’s an hour after close and I’m working on more food,” Claire stated, pointing to the pan in front of her. “It’s not a normal day.”

“Why are you doing this one?”

“Jamie asked for it. He needs to impress some girl at work apparently,” Claire said with a mild scoff.

Joe sat down on a bar stool across from her. “And how does that make you feel?”

Claire’s head snapped up to look at Joe. “Excuse me?” Joe simply raised one eyebrow, his gaze still trained on her. “Why would that make me feel any sort of way?”

“Perhaps because of your feelings.”

Claire burst out laughing. “I don’t have feelings for Jamie.”

Joe leaned forward on the prep table. “Lady Jane, come on. You told me you did!”

“That was in medical school which was a long time ago,” Claire reminded him. “Also, I was drunk. A lot has happened since then. Whatever feelings I was having for Jamie were shut down the minute he became an investor in my company. Business leaves no room for feelings.”

“Mmhmm. Sure.” Claire glared at her friend. “Look, all I’m saying is that I saw the way you used to look at him. And I see the way you look at him now. Not much has changed.”

Claire was silent as she placed the pan of pastries in the oven. She walked back over and looked at Joe. “You’re right in a way. Things haven’t changed all that much. Jamie still pursues women like they’re a dying commodity. And I’m still never one of them. So, you’re right in that way.”

Joe frowned, looking down at his hands. “You don’t have to do everything he asks you to do.”

“He’s my friend and I want to,” Claire insisted.

“Can you tell me the truth?” Joe pushed.

Claire sighed, leaning against the table to match Joe’s pose. “I fell for Jamie nearly the moment I met him. I hated being the silly girl in love with her best friend. It was such a cliche. But I couldn’t help it. You’ve met him. You know he’s sweet and has a charm about him. But when he gave me the money to start this, I was determined to shut it all down. Two things complicate friendships like nothing else: feelings and money. We already had the money complication. I wouldn’t be the one to push it a step further and admit my feelings. So I was determined to ignore them. Bury them. Date other people. Throw myself into work. And that’s what I’ve done.”

Joe watched her for a long moment. “And?”

Claire sighed, throwing herself down on a barstool, her head in her hands. “And it hasn’t made a bit of difference.”

She glanced up at Joe with a helpless look on her face.

“I’m still in love with him.”

Next chapter

#outlander #outlander fanfiction #outlander fanfic #my writing #sweet creature

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colorfullfalls · 5 years ago

Text

Force Knows Best

Summary: after infinity war, life is in shambles, but to make things even more complicated, the first order decides to visit. kylo ren is in search.. for you.

5. Welcome Home

Kylo put his helmet back on, security of his anonymous face and power. The guards surrounded you two as you left the doors, walking up a few step to enter the bigger ship, your apparent new home. People in the halls glanced your way, curious to see the woman that Kylo Ren was hell bent on finding. His glove found your bicep again, pulling you closer, shielding you by the mere size and strength of his being. You felt tiny, like a child compared to the Supreme Leader. Echoing footsteps followed behind you, irritating you. He sensed your discomfort.

"Leave us." Kylo barked, and the white plastic covered men split off without skipping a beat. Commanding people made goose bumps appear on your skin, how could he be so harsh with them? Treat them as dogs rather than human beings- well if they were humans, for all you knew they could be different alien races. The mask allowed for mystery, and you were not a fan.

Hallways turned until you were in front of two tall red doors, contrasting the black vast area of walls, floors, and ceiling. Kylo's chambers were different and more extravagant compared to the rest on the ship, afterall he deserved a treat for ruling planets and the Galaxy. His hand freed itself from the black glove and rested his palm against a glass scanner, it shone red before a click was heard and he was grabbing you, pulling you in behind him. Doors shut with a harsh slam and lights turned on, illuminating the large common room.

It was so.. him, multi shaded grey tile covered the floor beneath your feet, a leather black sectional sat against the wall, which was also painted grey, red stands sat on either side of the sectional with a black coffee table directly in front of it. A tv like screen, bigger than any normal one of Earth, splayed against the left wall facing the sectional. Five different rooms branched away from the one you were in. You kicked your shoes off, shifting the bag in your hands to rest against your legs. Kylo noticed and took it from you, nodding at you to follow him. Furthest right was your bedroom, well Kylo's. A king size black bed sat in the middle of the room, plush red pillows covering by the white headboard. You yearned to lay down and sleep, your day was pretty hectic already and it wasn't even night. Not that you could tell because in space it was always dark. He dropped your bags on the bed and took off his mask.

"All that is here belongs to you now."

Kylo's voice was sturdy, but a sense of anxiety slipped past his teeth and rolled off of his pink tongue. You quirked an eyebrow at the man before you. Weary of him you were, but at the end of the day he was human. You wondered if that mattered, humans on Earth did vicious crimes all the time, cops barely covered providing safety, and even shield wore itself thin at times.

"Thanks, you know freedom once belonged to me.." you sarcastically replied, waving around the space between his large body and your stressed out one. His gaze adverted to the wall, jaw clenched uncomfortably hard, frustration almost besting him in the worst possible moment.

"I can give you anything you desire. Luxurious gowns, jewelry, planets, creatures, plants, all in my grasp. What can I do to please you?" His voice was desperate, a yearning to make you happy above all else. He spent years searching helplessly for you, and now that he had you, you hated him. Hated him for taking the one thing that mattered most to him, what belonged to him in an intricate way. You. Joining your souls together was not a mistake and he certainly would not apologize for doing what the force meant to happen, but your sorrow did guilt him. He loved you, as foolish as it seemed from the outside.

But to him, it made all the sense. Kylo visited your thoughts and body day after day while hunting for you. He knew the type of woman you were, your thought process, how easily your fragile feelings could be hurt, how you fiercely loved those close to you, how you preferred grape jelly over strawberry, how your clumsy manner often left you bruised-much to his disliking, and he memorized all of these in great detail. You were an extension of him and he wanted to know you inside and out, and at this point he did. But now that you were in grasp, he needed you to love him back.

As soon as he had his first dream about you, his gut told him that you were his other half, far far away from him in the most unfortunate way. He vowed to make one complete being, promptly begining his journey to find you. The Force allowed him to visit you, but the touch and occasional dream of him was the only hint you got, not enough information to warn you of your impending future.

"None of that would please me, Kylo. I agreed to come because you weren't going to leave otherwise. War plaques Earth enough without the First Order involved. Gifts will not fix the pain, and you are stupid to think it would."

"I want you to be joyful." Such a phrase could be taken the wrong way, read as he was commanding you to feel an emotion, but he was not, he was vocalizing his goal to you in lame terms, horrible at portraying feelings with spoken sounds.

"Well, I'm not." His eyes saddened and you felt unfair guilt, "Maybe one day, but right now- no, joy isn't a friend of mine."

"I am the Supreme Leader, a powerful man, and I do what I wish without protest. Listening to anyone is not my skill, but with you, I am trying. Trying because of who you are to me," He picked up his helmet and traced the face of it, big fingers coming together to flick it before honey brown eyes met yours, a hard stare, an unapologetic one, "Retrieving what's mine is not apology worthy, it had to be done. Hate me if it makes you feel better, I suppose."

Fire bristled along your arms, blue flames dancing involuntarily. How dare he act like he did you both a favor by snatching you up like a stray dog on the road. Being bound seemed like a different way of saying soulmates. And even if the two of you completed one soul, one half still belonged to you. He didn't own your half, he should be thankful that he has such a connection with another being, but he was acting like a mad man.

His eyes adverted to your arms, new small holes exposed the skin, your shirt burning from the use of powers. Your fireproof suit was in your bag, you had taken it off when you packed your belongings. Usually your powers were in control, but being around Kylo made new levels of emotions, mostly anger, appear.

"My goal from now on is to knock you down a peg. You're human, and I will remind you of it everyday." You mumbled.

"I will remind you, little one, that you are where you belong. With me. By my side. Forever."

"Forever is suddenly my least favorite word." Your heart fluttered at how honest and raw his words were when he spoke to you, but hating him was your angle at the moment and you had to stick with it. His shaggy black hair swept in tuffs over his forehead, strikingly similar to the lines over his long scar on his face that led down to his neck. A well formed neck, you thought. Being so attracted to someone you should hate was foreign to you. Something in books and movies, but not real life. Now it was happening in a space ship in the sky, miles away from home, your life reduced to a romcom movie, a hate to love story.

"Each hateful word you throw my way, my adoration will only increase." Kylo dropped his helmet back on the bed and shrugged at your hazy expression. You were torn between hating him and wanting to accept his words, "Try all you may, you cannot deter me, we are meant to last."

"You've stated that fact multiple times today, look, I don't get why this force picked me to be the one who you're bound with, we are vastly different."

Kylo sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance because it seemed that you weren't getting it, "The force would not make a mistake. You make me stronger, and vice versa."

"How do you know I'm the one?"

He grabbed your hand, slotting his large fingers in between your tiny ones in comparison, skin blazing heavenly at the contact. You felt drunk, the best kind where happiness takes over and you feel invincible, on top of the world where nothing can drag you down. Like friends are talking, but it's hard to make out from all the laughing and bubbly dancing to shitty bar songs, but you're happy because it's perfect. You feel giddy but attempt to suppress it because these feelings are not valid, he is a murder. He holds up the intertwined hands, an example of your ridiculous question. Kylo Ren would not lie about his bond with you, never lie to you about anything.

"My body cradles yours in every way because we were born to be one." He rubbed his thumb across your hand, making you blush, pushing him to step closer to get more of a reaction from you.

"Why is there- my body, I just feel like.. like" you tried to explain the intense sensation, but failed miserably. He gave you an understanding gaze, smirking at the fact that you felt a fragment of the bond, the pull to be close.

"Alluring, isn't it, little one? The Force is letting us know that we found eachother. In time it will feel normal."

His fingers left yours to push your hair behind your ear, but you snapped out of the trance. Distraction to move away, suitcases opened and hands shuffled through clothing and items, looking for a new shirt to wear. Burning the current one was embarrassing and changing would wash away the mistake that you just made. Years of training for control over yourself crumbled like bridges during high degree earthquakes, crashing down around the man who you were forever stuck with. A grey hoodie from the bottom was plucked from your hands and into Kylo's. He turned it over in curiosity.

"What is this?"

You rolled your eyes, grabbing it back in defense, the hoodie was the one thing you owned compared to his fleet of ships and planets, "Hoodie. Wear it for warmth.. so where's the bathroom, I need to change."

He pointed to a black door left of where you stood and you nodded curtly, entering and getting out of his sight, gaining a second alone. Pitiful holes surrounded what was once cloth covering skin. Pale flesh teased you, a reminder that was gone when you ripped the shirt up over your head, hoodie slipping on instead. Warm, reliable, comfy, home smelling hoodie. A mirror rested above the sink, reflecting you in the bright bathroom lighting. How could you let him hold your hand like that? Knock a wall down that he didn't deserve to witness.. His bond touch was unfair to use, it went went against your mind. Tears that you were unaware of previously dripped down your face, dampening your chin, baby hairs sticking grossly to the area. Crying was a rebirth, a chance to let it all out and restart again. It felt good to sob on the bathroom floor, to lean against the wall for support.

Time passed and you cried, emptying bottled up confusing emotions. Kylo stood outside the door listening, chest tightening at the wretched gasps for air as you bawled, his heart thudding with every sound. Kicking open the door and holding you was his idea, but he was scared to push you even further away. He wasn't stupid, he realized you didn't trust him yet. Crying in the bathroom was a personal thing for you to cope, and intruding would embarrass you. After the hand holding moment he assumed the road ahead was easy but now he was not so sure.

At the same time hiding in there to cry angered him. Why couldn't you melt into his embrace and allow him to ease your pain? No one was more suited for the duty than him, your equal in life, your other half. Kylo did not let people in, he didn't like the attachment and risk, but you were the one who it was acceptable to confide in, to show vulnerability. Dark force was in his genes, and it would never leave, but you would see the better side of him. Not that he wouldn't ever upset you or go against your wishes, but you were going to be the closest to him, his weakness. Reaching out in the only way he could, he closed his eyes and used the force to seek you.

Dry tears crusted your cheeks, despair eating away at your insides, when a swirling feeling rested on your upper arm, sliding up and stroking your chin. The swirling morphed into an invisible hand that wiped moisture away with gentle caresses. Matter of the fact was that Kylo was reaching out to comfort you in the way he had in the past. Grudgingly you pulled away, but a dull pain of struck your heart, leaning more into the invisible hand.

"Open the door." His voice called out. You ignored him, head falling backwards to rest against the wall behind you. The touch vanished and you heard the main door slam. Kylo stalked off, helmet on and anger active heading towards his knights for Intel on Thanos. His knights roamed the galaxies, if anyone knew about the purple titan, it would be them.

Eventually you crawled out of the bathroom and pulled the blankets back on the bed. His pillows surrounded you, shielding you from the air coming from the vents. Dark endless space peeked through the two small windows of his room, allowing it to feel like bed time rather than evening. It was enough because within minutes you were zonked.

Kylo sensed utter tranquility from you, calming him down. His emotions were hard enough to handle, but being so near to you caused all of yours to mix with his, making your crying suffocating, which made him mad, but when you were asleep he could level himself a bit.

"Sweet dreams, little love", Kylo whispered in your mind as he stood in front of his kneeling, ever so loyal, knights.

#starwars #starwars imagine #kylo ren #kylo ren imagine

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justmysicklypride · 5 years ago

Note

“All I do is drink coffee and say bad words.”

Des!!! This was actually pretty fun to write lmao I hope you like it

(Pairing: Shizaya)

Coffee Shop Soundtrack

“No matter how many times you keep asking, I’m still going to say no,” and Shizuo wondered whether the latter’s seemingly non-existent shame from being rejected countless times was an inherited trait, or some sort of acquired one.

Unfortunately for him, Izaya Orihara merely stood with a smile behind the counter and picked up a large takeaway cup as though this was the reaction he’d been expecting all along. Shizuo supposed that maybe it was, seeing as he’d been rejecting any and all advancements Izaya has made towards him in the past almost three months that he’s worked there. They stood there glaring for at least another ten seconds.

Eventually, Izaya’s eyes lowered just long enough for him to pick up a marker and began writing Shizuo’s name on it. Shizuo felt his eye twitch as petite hands guided the pen across the matte surface with a type of precision and grace that reminded him of the time Shinra had demonstrated the scalpel-wielding skills he learnt in practicals on a piece of animal tissue. Only instead of leaving a trail of red and blood behind, the only thing that stained it was the ink - sharp, square turns and a final inflection to finish off the beginnings of Shizuo’s first name, only to give way to small characters and taunting curves that only someone like Izaya would have the guts to do. Especially to someone like a not-yet-caffeinated Shizuo at eight in the morning.

“Keep your eyes at my face, not my hands, Shizu-chan. Don’t want you getting any ideas after all,” Izaya said without skipping a beat, and Shizuo startled.

His eyes immediately drew away to avoid anything other than Izaya’s hands, of all things, and even more so avoided what exactly Izaya had been trying to imply when he’d said what he did. His face felt warm and he half heartedly readjusted the laptop bag on his shoulders, just to have something to do. It was too early for him to even pretend to be nonchalant.

Looking up with a punchable, yet innocent expression, Izaya said, with an overly polite voice, “450 yen, thank you!”

It was the same price each time, and yet Shizuo always felt that Izaya somehow managed to charge him more than what it was worth just to see if he would notice. He wondered if there was any point in pointing it out. If worse comes to worse and he finds himself one day unable to pay his university fees, he could always just come here to beat Izaya up just to make him feel better. Yeah, maybe he should say something… One of these days.

“I really do hate you,” Shizuo sighed instead, reaching into his pocket to get his wallet and avoiding eye contact with both Izaya’s stupidly pretty customer service smile, as well as the mocking coffee cup that sported an unnecessary “-chan” at the end of his name.

Izaya gave him his change back, with an overdramatic bow no less, and began operating the coffee machine next to him.

“So about what I was saying earlier-” Izaya started, replacing his customer service voice with his usual taunting tone, and Shizuo knew Izaya wouldn’t let it go that easily.

“Shut up,” Shizuo said, angry, tired, and framed in the shape of a threat. Not that it deterred him in the slightest.

“You should come over to my place some time,” Izaya said, as if Shizuo didn’t say anything at all. Then, “Or at the very least, let me give you my phone number.”

“How many times did you need me to say ‘no’ before you get it through your stupid head?” Shizuo couldn’t help but snap - better his words than snapping a chunk out of the counter (again) he supposed. “Besides, it’s not like you can’t find anyone else to sleep with! You see, like, a hundred different people every other day here, and you’re-” Shizuo hesitated, and Izaya’s grin widened with each word, “you’re not… unattractive or anything.”

“That’s very sweet of you, Shizu-chan,” Izaya said. He looked as if he was considering something. “You know, I can tell that you like me too. Or, at least, enough to want to at least go out for lunch with me one day, so tell me-” Izaya flipped open the cap to a carton of milk, and began pouring it into a small metallic jug, “What is it about you that’s stopping this from happening?”

He pushed the thermometer towards himself so that he could start heating up the milk, letting the machine whirl it into what Shizuo knew to be a soapy-looking froth. It didn’t actually taste like soap, (to be honest, it wasn’t like Shizuo would put it past Izaya to pull a prank like that one day) and more like some pillowy cloud that someone threw into a cotton-candy machine, but Shizuo’s always had a hard time associating Izaya with anything other than a bitter taste in his mouth. Like a dark chocolate, probably, the kind that Shizuo hates, but it would be a lie if he didn’t admit that he’s thought about what it would taste like if he tasted it directly from Izaya’s mouth.

Shizuo internally filed the thought away. He could sort through those unwanted thoughts later when the handsomely annoying barista gives him his stupid coffee. When he’s locked up in a lab and needs a distraction from his rage-inducing thesis that won’t write itself no matter how many furniture and lab equipment he throws at it; his coffee cup with the stupid nickname written on it long crumpled up and discarded in the bin on the lobby floor because he’s not allowed to bring it into the room with him. He’ll think about Izaya then, like he does most days of the week (even when he doesn’t go to the cafe), and then he’ll shake his head and force himself back to reality because at this stage, he just doesn’t have time for a relationship.

“Nothing,” Shizuo said instead, because it’s really none of Izaya’s business. “I should be asking you that. Why do you keep annoying me about it? For all you know, all I do is drink coffee and say bad words. What if I turned out to be some crazy stalker that’s manipulating you into loving me or something?” Izaya scoffed at that and Shizuo continued, “What if I’m already taken?”

Izaya really laughed at that. A sound that grated Shizuo’s ears like a knife to a chalkboard. Yet, he wondered what it would sound like without the extra falsified edge to it.

“Well, let’s just say you’re interesting,” Izaya said, amusement still in his voice as he poured the completed milk foam into the cup. “And for the record, if you really were taken, then I would gladly back off, but the fact that you told me ‘no’ and not ‘I’m taken’ kind of solidified the fact that you’re not, and that you’re just being stubborn, Shizu-chan.”

Shizuo gave him a hard glare even as Izaya finally put the lid on and held the finished coffee towards him in a daring manner.

“You know, this still doesn’t change my answer,” Shizuo said, reaching out to take it and finally be on his way.

In hindsight, he really should’ve expected it, because the moment his hand grasped the cup, just above Izaya’s, the latter reached out with his other hand to grab at Shizuo’s collar to pull him towards him and into a kiss.

It happened really fast, and despite being caught off guard, Shizuo managed to learn three things: One, Izaya didn’t taste as bitter as he thought he’d taste. Though to be fair, it wasn’t like the taste of Izaya could possibly surpass the utter shock he’d felt when it happened; Two, that Izaya was a horribly inexperienced kisser, which Shizuo didn’t expect given how ‘smooth’ he’d been portraying himself as all this time. Really, it was more of just their lips touching for anything less than half a minute than a genuine kiss meant to swoon him into saying yes, and; Three, that Shizuo was going to have a really, really hard time trying to focus on his lab work today.

Absentmindedly, he felt Izaya let go of his shirt, and somehow Shizuo found that he was still holding his coffee (though the sides of the cup did begin to cave into itself) when Izaya fully pulled away. Shizuo did feel some parts of his face warm up slightly but it was nothing compared to how shy and flustered Izaya looked all of a sudden, and it was admittedly cute watching him still try to keep up this image of some self-assured cool guy that definitely knows what he’s doing.

“Well, you better get to class, Shizu-chan,” Izaya said, a touch softer than his usual mocking tone. “And call me, would you?”

Shizuo nodded dumbly, not really processing the words until he’d walked out of the coffee shop and was halfway through to campus that the words finally clicked and he looked down at the cup in his hands.

‘Shizu-chan ’

#thing I wrote #desss

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icarialex · 5 years ago

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(Jamie Chung, CisFemale, she/her) ⌇ have you seen Noelle Park around icaria? they are the 28 year old child of Zeus. they remind me of animal print scrubs, Polaroid cameras, and Buddha meditation beads. ( Lex / 29 / EST / she/her )

I’m a nomad and happy being alone

Full Name: Noelle Elise Park

Age: Twenty-Eight

Birthday: January 11th

Parents: Min-Jee and Jacob Park

Godly Ability - Her powers deal with lightening. On typical days she can control and conjure small amounts of electricity and wield it as she pleases, but when a storm passes her abilities are much stronger.

I had no interest in being the daughter you wanted

Min-Jee was a spirited woman when she was young. It was her free spirit, beauty, and love for nature that caught the eye of Zeus. They were together for a little over a year traveling the world, feasting on different foods, and just living life with what they had. All seemed to be paradise until Min-Jee announced she was pregnant. Apparently Zeus had no interest in raising a child, and fled shortly after the news was announced. Broken hearted and quickly running out of options, Min-Jee returned home to North Korea to face the wrath of her family. They’d warned her about running off with someone outside of their customs, but their daughter didn’t want the safe option. The safe option was Jacob Park who was a North Korean American boy living in the states that Min-Jee’s father had met through business. He was infatuated with Min-Jee and wanted her to move to Hawaii to live with him.

Since a pregnancy didn’t deter him and Min-Jee was done with adventures, she agreed to beginning a life with Jacob. They were wealthy due to Jacob’s business connections in hospitality on the island, and Noelle was sent to the best schools from the moment she was in preschool. Everything had turned around for Min-Jee except for the fact that her daughter held much of the same spirit she had when she ran away with the girl’s birth father. Noelle had no interest in people pleasing, networking, following orders, or even a path for that matter. Her mood was much like the weather. Like lightening, she rarely wanted to touch the same place twice, so the girl was always moving. As soon as she was old enough, she was out exploring Hawaii as much as she could. There were many times local authorities had been called because she hadn’t returned at sun down, and she was found laying on a tree branch or meditating on a hillside. No matter how many restrictions were placed on her, Noelle found a way around them.

It wasn’t until she was older that she understood why she seemed to accidentally shock people so often, or why her moods changed so much with the coming rain. Her parents were as normal as could be, so her having any sort of special abilities didn’t make sense. Since she hadn’t been stung by a radioactive jellyfish while surfing, she decided the only thing she could do was snoop. Whenever left alone, she’d rifle through her parents’ things to try and get an explanation. It wasn’t until she looked through a well hidden, wore down shoebox that she got her answers. In a letter that obviously never reached it’s destination she read that Jacob wasn’t her father, but instead she was a daughter of Zeus. Feeling lied to and betrayed, Noelle began to distance herself more than ever. She focused on school, so she could get into veterinary school to make enough money for herself. If her own family couldn’t be honest with her, then she’d make sure that she was self efficient.

During college, she travelled abroad, made as few connections as possible, and lived life as well as she could. Her parents made their lack of support clear, but it didn’t matter. Noelle’s grades were so great she didn’t need their money, and therefore had little reason to go back home. It wasn’t until she missed the tropics that she began searching for a home she could love almost as much as Hawaii.

That was what led her to accepting a job offer in Icaria. It would be the first time she laid roots anywhere, but Greece had many islands she could explore. Fear of being tied down didn’t set in just yet.

The only person I can count on is me.

Noelle’s parents wanted her to become a business mogul and take on the business after her father. She had and never will have any interest in following a path someone else tries to set for her.

Physical affection or touching is not her thing. Her home growing up wasn’t exactly affectionate, so she doesn’t understand the need for such a thing. If she loves someone enough, she’ll accept hugs, but she hasn’t met anyone that makes her want to show her love to others.

She hates polite conversation. She can do it, but she doesn’t understand why she has to. Other people don’t care really about how she is, they only ask because it’s the social expectation, and she definitely doesn’t care most of the time.

Her birth father is a sore subject. She knows he didn’t want her and dipped right after learning she was going to be born. Her temper and stubborn nature is a lot like him though.

She loves animals more than people. Seriously, she’ll say this to anyone’s face.

Meditation is what has helped her gain control of her powers.

If people care enough to break through her icy exterior, she can be funny, loyal, smart, and ruthless in protecting those she loves. It’s just a process getting there.

Likes: meditation, traveling, yoga, dresses with pockets, animals, and new scrubs. Dislikes: Filler conversation, touching, liars, and messes.

#about noelle #icaria: intro

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whereisten · 5 years ago

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Heaven-Sent

Summary: When your marriage falls apart before it even starts, you set off to Atlanta for a new beginning. You decide to face your fear of skydiving. Your guide? Jung Jaehyun.

Multi-part series: Part 1 - Part 2 Preview - More Coming Soon

Part 1

Word Count: 2,931 words

You were preparing for the best day of your life so far. You were marrying the man of your dreams come to life. He was everything to you. He was your reality. He was your escape from the other realities you wish you didn’t have to carry with you.

But then.

It all happened so quickly.

You walking down the aisle to the altar. The flashes of cameras. The look on Chanyeol’s face when you lifted your veil and there was no trace of warmth on his face.

There was nothing there.

You’ve never seen him like this before.

It was as if someone who looked a lot like your fiancé was standing in for your fiancé.

Maybe it was the nerves, you told yourself. Maybe he was stunned by how beautiful you looked.

You felt and knew how lovely you looked that day. For the first time, you were truly happy and aware of your beauty.

The priest began, “We are gathered here today to witness the union of Park Chanyeol and Y/N.”

You smiled at Chanyeol. His gaze shifted away from you and out to the crowd.

What was going on?

The priest continued with the motions and when it came time to recite your vows, Chanyeol was up first.

“We’ll begin with the groom,” the priest said.

“Y/N, the brightest star in my galaxy, I-“ Chanyeol forced himself but halted.

You froze.

The pews of the grand church fell into silence.

Chanyeol looked into the crowd again. You chose to follow his gaze to see a woman in a cream colored dress that almost dared to be white. Her long black hair and bangs were straight as a pin. She was otherworldly.

She looked pleadingly at Chanyeol, you noticed.

And then she saw that you caught on. And, at long last, she looked guilty.

“Chanyeol,” you started.

Chanyeol was caught red handed. But why, you tortured yourself as you wondered. What did he do, you tormented yourself. What could he have done to warrant such a look of shame on his face?

He forced himself to look at you. “Y/N, I am so so sorry. I can’t do this.”

Everything that followed happened even quicker. Chanyeol running down the aisle. The black haired woman meeting him at the door. Him opening the door for her. Her running out. And him following after her.

Never looking back.

No remorse.

He was gone.

You had your back straight and head held high. The crowd was in chaos. Your mother wailed from her pew. Your father was controlling your wailing infant half-sister. Your closest friends were in different parts of the globe and couldn’t make it for your big day, which made you wonder if you had any real friends at all.

Who could you turn to, then?

So you ran. You ran back to the dressing room. Changed into your favorite Shinee tee and most comfortable pair of jeans and a pair of brown cowboy boots.

You didn’t shed a tear. Not just yet. You could hear people in the hallway coming to find you but for what? Most of the people at the wedding were here for Chanyeol, anyway. Your bridal party was Chanyeol’s sister, Yoora and her friends. She was the designated maid of honor. But now everything felt like a lie. An obligation.

“I can’t believe that Seulgi,” you heard one of the bridesmaids say.

You heard knocks at the door.

“Y/N,” Yoora called out. “Are you alright?”

Was she for real?

You didn’t answer.

“Y/N. I know you’re in there. I can send the girls away if you want it to just be me.”

Again, you said nothing. You found your bag and debated how you would escape without anyone trying to bullshit a conversation with you. You really had nothing to say to anyone at this place.

You looked at the window hidden behind the elegant curtains and unhooked the latches. You jumped out the window with your bag and ran to the parking lot to get in your Jeep Cherokee. You drove the hell out of there. Not bothering to look back at what you left behind.

Thank goodness you and Chanyeol hadn’t moved in together yet. Otherwise, where could you have gone now?

You recalled how upset you were when he refused to move in with you or you with him. How could you not have noticed his hesitation? What he had to hide?

You sighed. Your phone was ringing nonstop that you put it on silent. You had missed calls from Mom, Yoora, and Mrs. Park. None from Dad.

You checked your texts, only paying attention to your mom’s.

Mom: I hope it’s okay. I took your plane tickets and decided to take the trip with Terrence. That piece of shit Chanyeol is paying every cent for this.”

Was that supposed to make you feel better?

You only stared at your mother’s message. You weren’t that shocked, truthfully. Your mother was a selfish woman that loved herself more than she loved her own child. She had no grace or delicate touch in all of the years she raised you. It’s no wonder Dad left her and remarried and in the process, let you become an afterthought. It’s no wonder you were so gullible when it came to Chanyeol.

You clenched your fists. All Chanyeol had to do was say the right words and he had you. But deep down, you knew it wasn’t love he had for you.

You wanted to believe it. So desperately. That you could have a happy ending. After all of the years of shortcomings and heartbreak in your family.

But why play you the way he did? Why go through with any of this?

Chanyeol was a fucking coward. Seulgi had the nerve to look ashamed when she was a show runner for your wedding gone to shit.

You went from shock to anger. And then, the sadness came up from underneath it all and you cried. You cried for hours, curled up on your couch in the living room. You played your favorite crying song because any sane person had a crying song. You cried until you couldn’t cry anymore.

But it seemed like the tears were endless.

You went up to the rooftop of your apartment building and took refuge in seeing the city lights. The sun was setting. It was your favorite part of the day and you felt some relief from the travesty of this day.

You took some deep breaths and found some of the pain in your chest fading. At least for now.

Your life wasn’t over, you told yourself. You had a lot going for you. You were young. Had a successful job as a concert promoter. You could leave Los Angeles. Start over.

And so that was what you did.

1 month later

You were settled in Atlanta. Burying yourself in work. Monsta X was your client, embarking on their fourth US tour. Everything was going seamlessly. The venues were cooperating with the company’s demands and specifications. The band’s schedule wasn’t crammed to the brim so the band was happy. The band performed well. Their company performed well. As the middle woman, you were doing well enough to keep your job. Some may say thrive.

You had some time before the band had to travel down to Miami for their promotions and their show. So you could unwind for a bit until then.

Your co-worker Ally joined you for lunch at a small Italian restaurant close to the State Farm arena.

“Y/N? I wanted to know if you’d be interested in skydiving,” Ally said.

You coughed. “What?”

“I take it you don’t like heights?” Ally asked.

You shook your head. “I’m afraid not.”

Ally sighed. “The thing is I had a session scheduled for tomorrow that I can’t go to. It’s too late to cancel it and I would hate for it to go to waste. I kinda figured you hated heights when you refused to go on the rides at Six Flags so I tried asking everyone. You’re my last resort.”

Your heart started racing. “I don’t know, Ally.”

Ally gave you the ticket anyway. “Look, go or don’t go. Maybe you can find someone else who’ll take it off your hands. Just take it. It’s yours now. Do what you want with it. Sound good?”

You nodded. You put your fingertips against the laminated piece of paper. You read the ticket.

Highway to Heaven and Back: Skydiving Expedition

You raised your eyebrows at it.

You thought about it. One moment you said yes. To try it. Feel something new. Get over one of your greatest fears. Feel something other than the perpetual loneliness and betrayal you felt every day.

The next moment you wanted to hide in your downtown apartment and order Chinese and watch Riverdale. For the fifth time.

You decided to throw caution to the wind and go.

The skydiving place was located in Upson County, an hour north of your apartment. It was a mini-airport and you could see a couple of small airplanes that were transporting skydivers.

You participated in the training session so you could know everything there was to know about the journey you were going to embark on. The instructor Mr. Davies taught you and the other initiates the do’s and don’ts. You learned about the steps to safely skydive. How to put your body in the correct freefall position. What to do in cases of emergencies. Operating the parachute after freefall. How to land. And to actually land.

You were thankful Ally bought the package that included an experienced instructor to be your guide. There was no way you were going to solo skydive. If you had to do it with a stranger, at least it would be with an experienced one. The stranger was paid to keep you alive. Not deterred completely from the experience, you thought you could actually do it.

You put on a red jumpsuit, a harness attached to the parachute, goggles, an altimeter, and a black helmet. Then, you and the other skydivers were partnered up with instructors.

“Y/N! Well...if it isn’t your lucky day, you’re going up with Jaehyun,” Mr. Davies said as he read out from his clipboard. “Get on over to plane 214! Jaehyun’s waiting for you there.”

You liked the feel of your shoes against the tarmac. You were more fond of the ground than ever, it seemed. You reached plane 214 and a man stepped off the plane with his forest green jumpsuit and skydiving gear. He had Ray-Ban Aviators on. He looked like he was ready for a reboot of Top Gun.

And so were you.

He made Chanyeol look like a before picture.

He smiled, blowing you away with his dimples. His dark brown hair was wavy and swayed gloriously against the wind. He was slender but you can tell he was well-built under his gear. His muscles protruded from the arms of his jumpsuit.

Lord.

“Y/N?” He asked

“Yeah!” Well, that was the most alive you sounded since the rehearsal dinner.

“I’m Jaehyun, your instructor. We are going to get pretty close with each other in the next hour. So look forward to it!”

With a smile and voice like that, how could you not?

He shook your hand and you couldn’t explain it. You felt ease. Joy. Hope.

And not like you were about to fly 14,000 feet above the ground.

When he released your hand, those feelings didn’t fade. But they weren’t as pronounced as when you made physical contact with Jaehyun.

No need to get so excited, you told yourself.

Jaehyun got you up onto the plane and you fastened your seatbelt when you sat down. Jaehyun, much to your delight and nerves. sat across from you. You looked out the window and saw that you were ascending.

Oh my Lord.

You felt like a weight was on your chest. You gulped. You began to sweat profusely. You had to catch your breath. Oh God don’t panic, please. You don’t want to panic. You don’t want this. Why can’t you do something bold for once? Why do you let yourself feel this way? Stop getting in your own way!

“Y/N?” Jaehyun frowned. He was worried. He inched forward and made eye contact with you.

“Look at me,” he said quietly.

“Jaehyun, I’m so sorry. I-I can’t do this. I can’t.” You sobbed. You couldn’t hold it in anymore. The nerves and the self-doubt were all at the forefront of your mind and you didn’t know how to make it stop.

“Y/N, give me your hands, please.” Jaehyun, while he looked anything less than calm, sounded so serene and sure of himself.

You gave him your hands and he squeezed them. “You can do this. I am right here with you. You’re not alone. We are in this together, okay?”

Those words. You would replay them multiple times after that day. He said all of the things you’ve longed to hear your whole life.

You sniffled. You wondered how your makeup must look and you shuddered. Well, that was a good sign. You were panicking about something else now.

Speaking of panic, the feeling began to fade. You felt the tranquility you did before when you shook Jaehyun’s hand.

“Breathe,” he said. “In. Out.” He did the breathing as well as he watched you.

“Thank you,” you said.

He smiled. “You’re not the first person to get like this.”

You continued, “I don’t know what comes over me. I’ve never liked heights but I thought maybe today could be the day that I could overcome it. At least confront it. I wanted to try. I do.”

Jaehyun was attentive to your words, your expressions, and everything about you. He could sense the pain you’ve endured. It was written in his eyes.

“I think today’s going to be the day, Y/N. Just wait and see.”

It was time.

Jaehyun opened the exit door and your side bangs got into your eyes. The wind was intense and a little fucking scary. Jaehyun backed up and you got yourself in front of him. You both sat on the floor of the plane. He would be on your back as you guys jumped off.

You looked down. And oh, how you regretted it.

Everything was so small and far away. You felt even smaller.

You felt Jaehyun secure himself behind you. “Ready,” he said.

Jaehyun’s presence was calming. Was it enough to ease the fear completely? Hell, no. But the feel of his body against yours gave you the courage to jump.

And you did. Together.

You yelled. Holy shit. This was happening. You felt sorry for Jaehyun’s ears. Your freaking out turned into laughter.

“Oh my God!” You yelled.

Jaehyun laughed. “You got this!”

“I got this!”

Jaehyun cheered. He steered you guys as you descended.

You were flying. The most dreadful part of the experience was gone. The dread of what was to come. You were in the moment. You flailed your arms, thinking you were Peter Pan. You laughed and felt happy tears leave your eyes.

“Jaehyun!” You yelled.

“Yeah?!” He responded.

“Thank you!” He had no idea what he did for you. He went above and beyond and helped you face and even conquer your fear.

“You’re welcome!” He yelled back.

It was incredible. This had to be one of the best moments of your life. You remembered to give Ally the biggest hug when you saw her on Monday.

When you landed, you almost wanted to kiss the floor. The nerves never completely went away. Hey, you were human.

Unabashedly, Jaehyun gazed admiringly at you. He was so proud of you and even more overjoyed to see you happy for once.

You felt a surge of newfound confidence in you. Ask him to dinner, you told yourself. As a thank you. And if he wants it to be something more, roll with it. Because that’s what you really want.

You were about to approach Jaehyun, who was taking off his gear. He had accumulated a crowd of admirers in less than 15 seconds. It was to be expected.

One girl with a midriff and booty shorts was in his breathing space. Another girl had her phone out, taking pictures of him, like he was a pop idol. The rest of the girls just...looked at him. At a loss for words.

Relatable.

Your confidence dimmed a little. Maybe it was for the best that you left. You could’ve come on too strong if you asked him to dinner.

You grabbed your gear and stuffed it into your backpack and made your way back to the training center to return the gear to Mr. Davies.

“Y/N!” Jaehyun yelled.

You turned around and Jaehyun was running up to you with his bag.

“Let’s go back together,” he said.

“Won’t your fan club be disappointed?” You joked.

Jaehyun shook his head. Was he genuinely confused? “Fan club?”

“Don’t be so modest,” you said.

“I’m not sure what you mean, Y/N. They were nice but if they want to see me again, it would have to be for a skydiving lesson.”

You blurted, “And what if I wanted to see you again? But like on the ground?”

He was shocked at your reply.

You bit the bullet. “Jaehyun, what time do you get off work?”

His shock faded and he gave you a knowing smile. “You were my last appointment of the day.”

Part 2 (Coming Soon)

Author’s Note: Shoutout to Skydive Atlanta for the info! Maybe someday I’ll come visit and get my butt on a plane and MAYBE go through with skydiving!

#nct 127 #nct #jaehyun #jung jaehyun #jung yoonoh #nct jaehyun #nct 127 jaehyun #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct au #nct 127 au #jaehyun au #nct fluff #nct romance #nct blurb #nct imagine #nct 127 imagine #nct blurbs

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faemoria-arch · 5 years ago

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¨ i hope gemma hasn't bothered you yet , ¨ it's the first time since toothiana took her stay in the defender's house that he acknowledges his personal assistant openly , removing his gaze from the schemata he had been analyzing to look at the vastaya . it truly is no wonder why , considering she had not been hired by his own choice , but most would've found it strange . not that he can account tooth for most , really ¨ i know that woman can be uncalled-for at times . ¨

¨ we have met , ¨ comes immediate answer , off-handed as though remarking on something straightforward && unnecessary of true consideration as the weather . ¨ hard-working , efficient she despises me with a passion i would find almost 𝓪𝓭𝓶𝓲𝓻𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓮 if it were not , in the end , still very trite . ¨ however , conversation within jayce’s workshop is not only rare but also near-always SECONDARY && toothiana can feel that his attention has shifted to her , lending the subject far more 𝓰𝓻𝓪𝓿𝓲𝓽𝔂 despite the impassive tone to his comment , conscious or not . accordingly , toothiana sets down the knife && piece of wood she had been whittling to the side of her seat on the edge of his workbench to offer a more dedicated acknowledgement in kind .

a moment is taken to determine how best to explain what has amounted from scattered encounters over the past weeks with the woman in question . the disapproval was plain from the beginning , even after gemma had ruled out some of the less reputable arrangements that could explain the vastaya’s sudden && reoccurring presence . still , things had started out with a certain attempt for ARTIFICIAL pleasantry from the woman , truly befit of a facet cut on the surface of piltover ;; requests that did not end as a question , suggestions that were not meant to be options , always when jayce himself was not present as though toothiana might otherwise look to 𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓮𝓵𝓭 herself through him && be left vulnerable to demands otherwise . as though she were naive enough not to see the thinly veiled methodology of ‘ courtesy ’ present throughout piltover . then , seemingly pressed on patience through lack of results ( && perhaps unsettled by everything 𝓮𝓵𝓼𝓮 about the vastaya ) , the assistant took turn towards a demeanor far less reserved at which point a crucial mistake had been made , because the queen of memories was consequently made privy to how easy && amusing she could be to distress through nothing but simple dismissal . && yet , while that may have served for a regular source of otherwise scarce-found amusement within this city just some weeks prior , toothiana has consideration for another in mind as of late . gemma’s behavior towards her IS undoubtedly upsetting when seen for what it reflects of a larger picture ( making it , as she says : trite ) && to find her own personal amusements with a situation wherein toothiana knows there is no true capability of fulfilled 𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽 is , by all means , a bitter one at its core . the vastaya has , however , now played witness enough to the influence gemma holds on someone positioned less-readily to merely cast the continual judgement && criticism && misaligned expectations aside to know she has no desire to exasperate it , even when jayce himself is clearly all-too accustomed . thus an effort to merely avoid his assistant has instead been taken , for the most part . ¨ the disdain she holds for me is a drop in an ocean , ¨ toothiana expands , seeing no reason to pretend it does not still contribute to something , insignificant as it may be on its own . ¨ but what she seems to hate most of all is that she holds no authority over me . when i shrugged off the underhanded remarks meant to deter me away && now laugh off the candid ones when they follow , i have had no status for her to threaten , no bridges to burn or failed expectations or an image to tear down further than plenty already 𝓼𝓮𝓮 it . to her i imagine i am undeserving to not only be here but of any manner of 𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯-𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓹𝓮𝓬𝓽 . && yet she knows nothing of who i am or the life i have lived outside a very narrow lens crafted by a very narrow piece of the soul of this city && so i cannot even bring myself to covet her respect . ¨ toothiana takes hold of her knife once more , grabs the carving in process ( a replica in the making of a hextech vehicle jayce had pointed out the week prior ) && looks to return to her task . but not before adding pointedly :

¨ she brings far more strife to you than she can even offer me . ¨

@defensator ♦ sinday ? more like . . . sin-mpathy && earnest concern day .

#[ why do my responses to these things from you always get so long ?? ]#defensator #» เอกภพ ; an old magic ‚ sharp and unforgiving #» สายใย ; defensator | the energy of attempt is greater than the surety of stasis; you can be carved anew by the details of your devotions .

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sweetener-forever · 6 years ago

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Large Dog Seen Walking Grumpy Man in 30 Layers

Rating: T

Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Kirishima Eijirou, Sero Hanta, Ashido Mina, Kaminari Denki

Pairings: Bakugou/Kirishima

Tags: Complete fluff, there is no conflict, I have absolutely NO regrets on that, the squad hanging out and being cute, Sero has ferrets which I may or may not write another fic on why later, who knows

Summary: It’s full moon week, so remember to take your werewolf boyfriend on long walks and to socialize him with playdates. Also known as Bakugou hates the snow, Kirishima the werewolf loves it, and the squad shows up on their own without ever actually being invited.

AO3 Link

There are three sharp yips directly to Katsuki's left from where he is laying on the couch. They are just the right amount of loud and high pitched to grate against his nerves and to rouse him from his slumber at the same time. Not enough to get him up though, not while the sun has dipped low enough in the sky it is no longer illuminating the room with light and as a consequence his eyelids.

"Go walk yourself..." He mumbles out and, predictably, gets a whine in response, to which he rolls over so his back is facing the offending noise. If he had been more awake he would have known just how much of a terrible idea that is.

The whine abruptly cuts off and leaves the room once more in blessed silence.

For about five seconds before a cold nose buries itself in the gap of skin between Katsuki's sweatpants and shirt. He immediately rolls back over and almost nails the offending snout with an explosion, but the black wolf easily dances out of the way. Its tongue lolling out of its mouth and an amused squint furrowing around its dark red eyes.

"Fuck off, Ejiiro, I'm not walking you at," Katsuki squints up at the wall clock, "7 pm." Okay, admittedly the werewolf has actually managed to wake him up at a more decent time than usual, but that doesn't mean he is going to roll over for the little shit.

He gets another sharp yip in response because, of course, the idiot can't talk in this form. Mostly on account of him not having human vocal cords, but Katsuki would rather spend three days in Deku's exclusive company than admit he misses his boyfriend's voice already.

"What the fuck do you want." He knows what Eijirou wants and the wolf knows it too as his tail wags faster and he runs a dizzying circle around the couch.

"You think you're being cute, but you just look like an idiot and it's not convincing me." Katsuki's chest absolutely does not squeeze itself into a small ball when Eijirou's ears droop and he whines loudly. He does get off the couch though with an irritated grumble to locate his jacket and coat.

Both of Eijirou's ears perk up immediately and Katsuki nearly steps on one of his paws when the wolf races around him in a quick circle before going to the door. This is something that happens at least three other times as Katsuki is dressing himself to brave the hellish 6 inches of snow that decided to fall the first morning of full moon week. It's simply karma at work for how much of a shit kid Katsuki was that he now has to walk a rambunctious werewolf in it.

Said rambunctious werewolf nearly pulls him over as he is deemed to be taking too long. He is no further deterred than he was before by an explosion and continues to pull on the bottom of Katsuki's pants.

"Knock it off! Just because you're all toasty under all that fur doesn't mean the rest of us are!" He finally snaps and bares his teeth until Eijirou is whining again and goes to hide behind the coach.

He doesn't bother to retrieve his dumbass boyfriend until he's secure in his two winter layers, boots, and a Red Riot beanie. The beanie itself is a gross bright red almost the exact shade of Eijirou's hair and its "matching" "Kacchan" beanie is hanging up with Eijirou's own winter coat. The sight of Katsuki wearing the beanie is enough to get Eijirou out of hiding with more excited yips.

At the very least Eijirou holds still while Katsuki curses and bitches at his harness, patiently lifting up his paws when instructed and only beginning to wiggle around again once it has been snapped into place.

The harness of course is just a formality so no one calls the police or pro-heroes to come to deal with the unnaturally large "dog". It was Eijirou's idea initially and after begging, and promising not to run off, and break Katsuki's arm in the process, Katsuki finally conceded. So far for the last four years he has managed to keep his promise, but Katsuki still anticipates a night where he will be in the hospital with a dislocated shoulder.

Leash clipped in place, Katsuki grabs his and Eijirou's phones, keys, and his own wallet before leaving their shared apartment. The sight of the snow on the ground doesn't exactly thrill Katsuki, but Eijirou wiggles and does a slight hop in place while he waits for Katsuki to lock the door.

Then all bets are off and Eijirou is firmly, but gently pulling Katsuki down the covered stairs and into the snow covered street. To keep tonight from being that fateful hospital trip Katsuki just lets go of the leash and lets Eijirou bound around.

Eijirou the wolf is as loud as his human counterpart and makes sure Katsuki knows he is enjoying himself with barks, yips, and even a low howl. Neighbors used to come up to Katsuki's door to complain about his dog making noise, but they never did it a second time after actually seeing Eijirou. It's satisfying to know the shitbag old lady that sprays lavender perfume into their shared vents is having a rough time sleeping tonight.

While Eijirou gets his fill of snow pouncing Katsuki makes sure to get plenty of pictures of him doing so. The group chat will be demanding, annoying, and whining if he doesn't deliver their fill of Eijirou the wolf by the time they get off patrol and work. They will be pleased over the five second video of Eijirou bounding towards the camera as he is actually ready for their walk now.

The end of the leash Katsuki is supposed to be holding is hanging out of Eijirou's mouth as he stares up at Katsuki with a pleased expression and a wagging tail. They have a staredown for all of three seconds before Katsuki takes the leash and is dragged away from the cover of their apartment stairs.

It is just as bad as Katsuki predicted it would be and Katsuki is freezing his ass off within three seconds of being dragged through the snow to the cleared sidewalk. Eijirou looks smug and proud of himself of course, completely unfazed by the snow clinging to his snout. He at least has the decency to let Katsuki curse and shake the excess snow off of himself before continuing their walk.

At least at this time at night there aren't any kids around to stare at or attempt to pet Eijirou because in the summer he is insufferable to deal with after being given so much positive attention. Mostly because he then tries to demand the same kind of attention from Katsuki and gives no fucks about bowling Katsuki over in public to lay on his chest until he has been satisfied. So, it may be cold as fuck and the ground may be covered in snow, but at least it's peaceful.

A peace which lasts all of a few minutes as they start to make their way to the outskirts of their neighborhood. Then Katsuki and Eijirou's phones start going off with multiple text messages. The self-proclaimed "squad" is awake.

Alien QUEEN: Baku! He Looks So CUTE!!! :D! You better tell him how cute he is!!! Taped Caper: How are you outside in this weather??? Burr Hemingyay: that's terrifying he looks like he's ready to P O U N C E Alien QUEEN: I! Want! To! Come! Over! And! Pet! Him! And! Tell! Him! What! A! Good! Boy! He! Is! Alien QUEEN: Baku, you answer your phone right now or I'm coming over to pet Eiji Alien QUEEN: 5 Taped Caper: Oof, Bakugou you may want to pick up, she made the same threat when I got the ferrets Alien QUEEN: 4! Alien QUEEN: 3!!! Hemingyay: oh lord she coming Alien QUEEN: TWO!!!!! Blasty Boy: Shut up. We're on a walk right now and I don't want you fucks coming over.

He reluctantly frees a hand from its glove to type out a quick message as soon as Mina started counting down. It's worth it if it actually manages to keep their friends from raiding his apartment and disturbing his potentially quiet evening at home.

Alien QUEEN: Awwwwww, but I already put my boots on!!! :( Taped Caper: Wait, are we all coming over? Taped Caper: I haven't had dinner yet though, so should we order something? Hemingyay: i want our usual noodle place if we're going over to visit eiji and kacchan Alien QUEEN: BURGERS! BURGERS! BURGERS! Blasty Boy: Oi, I already said I'm not having you idiots over tonight! Alien QUEEN: TOO LATE, PINKY IS OUT OF THE BUILDING AND HOPING ON A TRAIN AS WE SPEAK!!! Taped Caper: What are you hoping the train is going to do? Alien QUEEN: >:( Taped Caper: Haha, I'm putting the ferrets to bed and then I'll be over too Hemingyay: omw

Eijirou's ears flick back when Katsuki throws his head back and growls up at the night sky because of course their stupid friends wouldn't take no for an answer. He would be lucky to get them out of the house after a few hours. At least they may be able to wind down Eijirou's energy before bed, but that's the only bonus.

"I hope you're happy you dumb mutt, we're going to have company when we get back." At least the lavender perfume lady wouldn't be getting any peace and quiet either.

Eijirou doesn't seem like he understands and Katsuki can practically see the gears turning in his dumb werewolf boyfriend's head. When it finally clicks he gives a short little hop and runs a few circles before turning and howling at the moon. As if the idiots that are their friends would actually respond. It's cute and Eijirou doesn't seem at all deterred from his happiness when Katsuki lets out a sharp bark of laughter. Instead, he wiggles around, barks, and immediately turns around to start pulling Katsuki back to their apartment complex as fast as his paws and Katsuki's reluctant jogging would allow him to.

Which is great because it starts to snow as soon as they reach cover.

Not that, that stops Mina from immediately showing up at their door just as soon as Katsuki has convinced Eijirou to shake out all the snow in his fur outside, instead of tracking it in. All those efforts are in vain as Eijirou takes one look at Mina and almost breaks his promise of not dislocating Katsuki's shoulder. It's a near thing and if Katsuki couldn't recognize Mina's excited stomping up the stairs and released the leash then they all would have been enjoying their dinner in the hospital waiting room.

Mina is completely unphased about being tackled by almost 200 pounds of fur and dumbass. Instead rancorously laughing and aggressively ruffling the fur of Eijirou's neck, as if laying on the muddy and snowy porch with wet and smelly wolf laying on top of her is a comfortable place to be. It's also exactly where Katsuki leaves them in favor of returning to his warm apartment and shedding his coats.

Eventually, the other two join him inside and he attempts to beat some of the mud out of the back of her sweater before they both give up and she borrows one of Eijirou's instead.

Surprisingly they manage to settle into a relative peace after battling it out over what to watch while waiting for the other two morons to show up. Both of them settling on the couch with Eijirou laying between them, the only one actually paying attention to the movie as Mina is on her phone and Katsuki is finishing up one of his reports from earlier yesterday. Occasionally there will be a comment thrown back and forth between them ("Raka says you have to stop hogging pupper Eiji." "Tell Angel Face if she wants to deal with him, then she can babysit him tomorrow." or "I know logically it is just Eiji under all that fur, but how does he manage to contain all that cuteness, Baku? How???" "He's always cute, shut up and watch the damn movie." "Awwwww-" "DON'T YOU DARE, SHUT UP!") but they manage this peace up until thirty minutes later when Denki shows up.

Watching him get tackled and then futility trying to fend off Eijirou's over affectionate licking is far more entertaining to watch than the movie at that point. Even when Mina climbs over Katsuki's lap to take a picture of the struggling and laughing Denki while Eijirou does his damndest to try to smother his so-called friend. Her phone blows up with texts messages after that, likely from another group chat she is in with the rest of the former Class 1-A.

After a few more minutes of struggling Katsuki determines Denki has suffered enough and whistles sharply for Eijirou to get off of him. The wolf isn't even the slightest bit put out and leaps over the back of the couch to cuddle with Katsuki instead, panting as he lulls his head affectionately against Katsuki's chest. He puts up with the slight crushing of his rib-cage just because he is a good boyfriend.

"Awww, Kacchan woves his boyfriend~" He regrets not letting Eijirou smother Denki to death almost immediately.

Unfortunately, Eijirou won't move so Katsuki can pick up on the attempted murder from where he foolishly made Eijirou stop. He has seen the error of his ways, but his werewolf boyfriend is heavy and obviously basking in the glow of friendship, or some other crap like that.

At least he is spared from having to settle for verbal evisceration because Hanta shows up shortly after with a polite knock before letting himself in with the spare key he was (wrongfully) entrusted with. Katsuki doesn't have enough air left in his lungs from when Eijirou lunges off of him to tackle his next target. Hanta is about half-way free of his shoes and apparently completely forgot about the oversized wolf living here. He is punished for his foolishness with suffocation and a wet tongue making half of his hair stick up.

It takes two whistles and a harsh "Eijirou" before the werewolf manages to drag himself away from Hanta, tail between his legs as he whines pathetically up at Katsuki.

"Sorry, I should have changed clothes after handling the ferrets, my bad." He says this and doesn't look even the least bit sorry from where he is laying on the ground, so Katsuki doesn't grace him with anything more than a grunt in response.

"Were we going to get burgers or noodles for dinner? I'm seriously starving here." Hanta continues unlacing his shoes from where he is laying on the ground and grimaces when a drop of snowmelt lands on his cheek.

"I want nooooodles," Denki whines and dramatically throws himself across the back of the couch.

"BURGERS, BURGERS, BURGERS!" Mina continues her chant from earlier and pushes Denki off of the couch, where he has also accepted his fate and stays laying face smushed into the ground.

"The lady has spoken, burgers it is!" Hanta declares from where he has finally freed himself from his coat and is laying out on it like a particularly luxurious bed.

Eijirou has no idea what is going on, but he is very excited for it and lets off a howl in response to Mina's excited yell.

They all end up having to put back on their winter weather clothing when it is determined that the burger place does not deliver. Normally Katsuki would have said fuck no to going back out in the frozen wasteland, but Mina is determined to get her burgers and practically helps dress him. Eijirou himself is determined to knock everyone down in his excitement when he figures out that they are going out again. At least Katsuki doesn't have to go through the process of putting his harness back on since they hadn't even bothered to remove it in the first place.

The walk to the burger place in uneventful in and of itself, except that Mina decides that she wants to walk Eijirou and then nearly trips onto her face when he tries to set a jogging pace. The werewolf at least seems apologetic as he sticks to walking beside Mina and taking careful steps as they all casually walk.

Getting recognized in public is both a hassle and a blessing. Because while they may get served sooner than a regular citizen they have to put up with annoying questions from fans. As if professional heroes aren't allowed to go out and have burgers too. Not for the first time in the night Katsuki really wishes his boyfriend wasn't currently furry so he could field the questions away. The only thing he's really good for as a large wolf is discouraging the more weak hearted people to stay away.

When they actually get their burgers and are able to peel away from the few people still pestering them it has somehow managed to start snowing again. Eijirou is delighted of course, like the fur brained dumbass he is, and immediately pulls Mina face first into the snow as he charges off, dragging her behind him as he goes.

For her part, Mina seems less disturbed by this and more excited as she yells with delight at her impromptu ride.

"Should we like try to catch her or something?" Denki peaks over the several bags he is carrying, like the designated pack-mule he is, and raises an eyebrow at Katsuki.

Eijirou and Mina are slowly becoming dots in the distance as Eijirou keeps up his excited run. Eventually, he would either reach their apartment, realize nobody had followed his mad dash, and lay down to wait. Or he would circle back around, likely still towing Mina behind him.

"Not likely." The other two take this as all the fact they need and they start up an easy conversation as they walk.

Eijirou does end up circling back around, although he isn't towing Mina anymore. As apparently she finally got wise and let go of his leash at some point. They find her not too far away, still lying face down in the snow and doing an excellent impression of a dead animal. No one is fooled though and Eijirou noses at her until she sits up and pushes at his snout.

"No, I'm mad at you, Eiji! We were friends and then you got snow all up in my shirt and pants!" Eijirou does not look the least bit sorry his tongue lolling out and eyes squinting up in amusement. He quickly dodges out of the way of Mina's attempt to smack his nose and does a little jog around her.

"Oof, betrayed." Hanta snickers from his place next to Denki and helps Mina off of the ground as Katsuki picks up the end of Eijirou's leash.

After recovering the other two they finally make it back to Katsuki and Eijirou's apartment to eat. There is some more intense debate over what to watch before they settle on a crime documentary, it's in French for some reason (Eijirou borrowed it from Aoyama a while ago, but they both forgot about it and it might as well be his now), but at least it comes with subtitles. Not that they actually pay attention to it, instead determined to talk as loud as they can to beat out the sound of the movie (and the old woman from downstairs beating on the ceiling with a broom with the determination of a bear roused from its slumber).

It's something Katsuki is content to stay out of, for the most part, instead finishing his food quickly and ignoring Eijirou's 'sneaky' attempts at getting the rest of his burger, as if the wolf hadn't already had three of his own. Not that Eijirou ever cares about his own portions when he could be stealing his friends or his boyfriend's food. Although he has to settle with losing this battle as he is currently lacking in the opposable thumbs department at the moment.

He does win the fight of getting to set his head in Katsuki's lap at least, as the rest of the couch is being taken up by their friends and Eijirou is too heavy to lay across their laps.

"Aw, Eiji and Kacchan sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G~" Denki, of course, has to immediately ruin any companionable moment with his obnoxious and unwanted singing.

"That doesn't even make any sense you dumbfuck!" Denki is lucky that Katsuki has a lap full of sleepy boyfriend or he would have had an attempt on his life just then.

"Yeah, it's more like Eiji and Bakugou sitting in a tree C-U-D-D-L-I-N-G." Hanta is completely unhelpful here, grin widening at Katsuki's slowly reddening face.

"Eiji and Kat sitting on a couch B-E-I-N-G C-U-T-E." Mina chimes in from her very dangerous position sitting next to Katsuki, and once the other two have deciphered the benign spelling they start laughing like it is the funniest thing she has ever said. Which is dumb because they aren't even drunk and it wasn't even that funny.

Eijirou, the traitor, lets out a huff of air from inbetween his teeth and a little wheeze. Which is most certainly a laugh, and the bastard doesn't even flinch when Katsuki explodes his furry shoulder. Just lets out another wheeze as he relaxes his hardening and stares up at Katsuki with eyes that are too human for his current form. Katsuki feels even more betrayed as his face starts to heat up more.

"Aw, come on, don't be like that, Bakugou. You two have been dating for years now, right? What's there to even be embarrassed about?"

"Yeah! And you two are super cute together! Even with..." Mina carefully puts her hands, ineffectively, over Eijirou's ears and leans in to stage whisper to Katsuki, "his condition." Yes, because Eijirou being a werewolf is such a horrible problem that Katsuki has to live with, however will he cope.

"Shut up, like any of this shit is hard." For some reason this makes the other three let out 'awwws', some more sarcastic than others, and Katsuki really wants to kill them all and bury their bodies in the non-existent backyard. Several years of dating really has done nothing to make him immune to their friends insistent bullshit, and if Katsuki were more the poetic type he would probably lament some on this.

At least the conversation, thankfully, moves on to the French movie when there is an abrupt scream from the screen and a gory scene. Katsuki doesn't pay it that much mind when he feels eyes on him and looks down to see Eijirou is staring up at him. Normally those big eyes would be impossible to decipher, but Katsuki knows Eijirou too well to think that the soft sigh and half-lidded position of his eyes is anything but unrestrained adoration.

Maybe if they were in private he would absolutely eat that look up, but surrounded by company Katsuki feels his face go blotchy again with red and he pushes Eijirou's head abruptly out of his lap. Something the wolf actually gets stubborn about, pushing back against Katsuki's insistent hand until he gets fed up and puts his front paws up on the couch next to Katsuki's hips and pushes him back until he is leaning against the back of the couch.

Now situated in this new position Katsuki doesn't have the leverage to push Eijirou away again as the wolf half crawls onto the couch and rests his furry maw next to Katsuki's shoulder. It is something like being slowly suffocated by a furry blanket and if Katsuki were a stronger man he would have already pushed Eijirou off so he could breathe again. Unfortunately he is a weak man to the contented sigh that Eijirou lets out and the way he relaxes against Katsuki as if there is no other place that he would rather be, and if the other three softly start singing their ridiculous song again he can pretend he can't hear them over Eijirou's breathing in his ear.

Which is a position that he somehow manages to fall asleep in. Only woken up again by Hanta's light touch on his shoulder and the quick rub that Mina does to his hair.

"Hey, thanks for having us over, but we're all going to head out before the snow gets too bad to walk in." Hanta whispers as if he doesn't really want to disturb the moment and isn't perturbed when he only gets a grunt back in response.

"Remind Eiji for me that we are still going out to check out the new mall store and I'm not letting him get out of it just because it is full moon week!" Mina whisper yells and gives a stern look to the still sleeping Eijirou before she bundles herself up and sweeps out the door. Denki yawns and gives a half-wave as he follows her out, his complaints about the snow half muffled as they loudly thump their way down the apartment stairs.

Hanta is the last to leave, shutting off the light and locking the door behind him.

Eijirou stirs at the sound of the lock clicking and peeks open one eye. He must determine that it isn't important because he almost immediately closes it again and resumes his previous napping position. Too bad Katsuki isn't having any more of it.

"Get off me, I need to clean up after those slobs and go to bed, shitty fur." He mocks Eijirou's fur, but then immediately pets it, so no one can blame the werewolf for the mixed signals he is getting. Although he does eventually give in to Katsuki's random jabs in his side in between pets and gets off of his boyfriend, flopping down to take up the entire couch space as Katsuki stands up and stretches.

He watches lazily as Katsuki begins to pick up the living room and throw away trash. Someone had at least turned off the TV and put the remotes back where they were meant to go, so the only hassle is making sure that all the dishes are washed and put away and that random trash isn't littering their floor. The cleaning would have gone faster if Katsuki had had a second pair of hands helping him, but he doubts very much that Eijirou could be much help with his soft furry paws. Although he does recall one night where the werewolf had picked up a rag with his mouth and attempted to dry some dishes, mostly he just succeeded in leaving nose prints on all of the dishes and forcing Katsuki to wash them a second time.

Eijirou does get off of the couch when it seems like Katsuki has thrown away the last of the trash, padding softly over to his boyfriend and trying to nudge him in the direction of the bedroom.

"Fuck off, just because you're a wolf doesn't mean that you're getting out of brushing your teeth, Eijirou." Which is unfortunate, but whatever gets Eijirou to cuddling quicker is something that he can put up with in the moment. Even as uncomfortable as mint toothpaste is to his sensitive nose.

Overall getting ready for bed is the most boring part of the day compared to the past few hours of excitement and the whirlwind of friends. But Eijirou would not trade these few moments alone with his boyfriend for the world. If Katsuki were more inclined he would likely tell him the same.

They end up settling into bed with the covers thrown off despite the chilly air of the room. Eijirou putting off enough body heat to keep himself and his boyfriend warm without any trouble.

Eijirou is already dozing and about to fall asleep when he feels Katsuki shift next to him. He considers opening his eyes to investigate, but since Katsuki is shifting closer and not out of bed he doesn't feel a need to. Although he does almost jump out of his fun when he feels a soft kiss on his forehead. It is a nice reminder that sleepy Katsuki is an affectionate Katsuki and Eijirou wishes more than anything that he wasn't currently stuck as a wolf so he could pepper his boyfriend in kisses of his own.

For now, he settles on resting his head on Katsuki's chest and listening to his heartbeat as he dozes off. There would be plenty of time for that in the morning when he is back to normal.

~OwO~

When Katsuki next wakes up it was to the sound of training music and a punching bag being hit. Unsurprising really as Eijirou likes to get up early even on his days off and workout. It usually annoys Katsuki to no end when he does it, but right now he is more than a little grateful to hear the familiar morning routine.

It's nice to have the reassurance that his boyfriend isn't going to stay a wolf forever and will eventually return to how he is supposed to be.

The floor and air is unsurprisingly freezing when Katsuki steps out of bed and he has to resist with all his willpower not to take the blankets with him like some kind of makeshift cloak.

And Eijirou is right where he is supposed to be, red hair pinned up in a ridiculous headband and focused on his breathing as he delivers swing after swing onto the punching bag.

Katsuki shuffles forward and following his sleepy impulses wraps his arms around Eijirou's back and leans against him. As expected he is giving off enough heat to keep away the morning chill.

"Morning, Katsuki! Sorry about falling asleep on you last night, but you were so comfy and the movie was a lot more boring than I expected it to be! I don't know how Denki managed to stay awake through it, but apparently he was addicted to the plot. He sent me some memes about it this morning, but I'll have to show you them after breakfast. Speaking of, what do you want?" Eijirou is usually pretty chatty the morning after a full moon night and Katsuki guesses that has something to do with the lack of human vocal cords while a wolf and his normal inability to shut up.

For now, Katsuki just basks in the voice of his too cheery boyfriend and entertains the thought of dragging Eijirou back to bed before deciding against it.

"Shut up, I'll make eggs." He grumbles and reluctantly disentangles himself from Eijirou.

He gets about as far as two inches before Eijirou catches him around the waist and drags him into his chest. Katsuki is tempted to explode Eijirou's back for that, but instead settles on nuzzling into him instead. He really is too warm and comfortable against the winter air. Which is what he will blame how pliant he is on when Eijirou showers his face and hair in kisses and he doesn't put up any fight to try to push him away.

"Hm, missed you." Is said right against his lips and Katsuki opens his eyes just specifically to roll them.

"You didn't go anywhere, morning-bred asshole."

"I know, but I miss doing this with you." And he means everything that they do, from washing the dishes together to being able to share a kiss.

So, sure Kirishima doesn't have a problem with being a werewolf, and it is even cool at times, but he likes being human a lot more for his boyfriend.

"Stupid. Come pull your weight with breakfast or you aren't getting any." Katsuki lets out a small snort and finally pulls away from Eijirou to make his way to the kitchen.

"Sir, yes, sir!" Eijirou calls after him and lets out a bright laugh when he gets flipped off in return.

Another full moon night conquered and many more to come.

#BNHA #My Hero Academia #Bakugou Katsuki #Kirishima Eijirou #Bakushima #Kiribaku #Bakusquad

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dropintomanga · 6 years ago

Text

Shu Tsukiyama - A Gourmet’s Chase for a Taste of Real Friendship (Tokyo Ghoul)

“Kaneki...would never forget about me. We shall spend time together again..!! Kaneki!! Let little Hinami, Banjo, and his underlings be there too!! We’ll make up for lost time!!”

One of the most important things to get through life is close friendships. Yet we sometimes forget how fragile they can be when life hits you with a big whammy.

When you make friends with someone who gets you, you tend to do what you can to spend time with them as much as possible. Everything’s all smiles and full of roses. You wish that those days would never end. You don’t give much time to consider that those relationships may end. You feel that nothing will sever those bonds.

Once those bonds end, you assume there’s nothing left. You can’t move forward. But what if the only way to move forward was to chase the past? To go after and bring back the glory days of yore.

A certain popular Tokyo Ghoul character put the theory to the test and let’s just say it was quite a nuanced experience.

The character I’m talking about is Shu Tsukiyama - a major supporting character who was once an enemy to main character Ken Kaneki, but became one of his most vocal supporters and allies. Tsukiyama was once known as the Gourmet, as he always feasted on humans that seemed fancy and exquisite to eat. One day, he became enamored at Kaneki’s hybrid nature (being both half-human and Ghoul) and planned to eat him. Tsukiyama ends up getting killed at the hands at Touka Kirishima for his interest in Kaneki. He was later revealed to be alive as he ate parts of himself to regenerate his body completely.

Tsukiyama joins a rescue attempt to save Kaneki from the Ghoul organization Aogiri Tree and later became Kaneki’s “sword” to fight against Aogiri. Although he still wanted to eat Kaneki, he becomes much nicer than he was during his Gourmet days. When Kaneki tries to save his friends at the cafe Anteiku near the end of the original Tokyo Ghoul series, a tearful Tsukiyama implores him not to go. He becomes depressed and a shut-in at his home for 2 years after Kaneki disappears at the end of the Anteiku raid. But when he finds out Kaneki is alive and living under a different identity in the start of Tokyo Ghoul:re, Tsukiyama embarked on a renewed journey to get back the one friend he truly treasured in his life.

When you look up most advice on how to find closure after a friendship ends, almost all of the answers would tell you to process the loss and move forward. Processing the loss of a friendship is important because more often than not, they end without warning. They also end due to major differences in values brought out during conflicts. Regarding the Kaneki/Tsukiyama friendship, Kaneki cared about protecting people (regardless of whether they were Ghouls or humans) around him; Tsukiyama only cared about protecting Kaneki.

Moving forward can be just as hard because perhaps the lost friendship was everything you wanted. For Tsukiyama, he later sees that all he wanted was a friend to share his interests with. Kaneki didn’t shy away from him unlike most of the other Ghouls during their time together as an anti-Aogiri force. The two shared a similar social identity - Ghouls who have been thrown aside by others in the past, have very few friends growing up, and absorb themselves in sophisticated literature. Their first meeting was a conversation about literature. There are studies that show the most important things that makes friends the best of the best is a shared social identity, This is stronger than intimacy, contact, and support.

Is that a good reason to repair a lost friendship? To rebuild the social identity they once shared? There was a complication in Tsukiyama’s attempts to befriend Kaneki again. Kaneki was now known as Haise Sasaki, an up-and-coming CCG (Commission of Counter-Ghoul) investigator. He became the enemy of the Ghouls. This doesn’t deter Tsukiyama from wanting to bring Kaneki’s memory back (with some help from two of his actual closest friends, Chie Hori and Kanae von Rosewald) as they met up a few times to talk.

However, during one of the final few meetings between the two, Haise asks Tsukiyama if he knew Kaneki. Haise started to figure out who he really is after meeting old friends he made when he was Kaneki. As Haise continues to explain that he must know his past, a now-conflicted Tsukiyama begins to realize that telling him the truth would bring nothing but misery and pain and his love for Kaneki didn’t want that. Haise was an innocent personality that served to protect Kaneki. Why add even more unnecessary stress?

However, Tsukiyama’s actions gave rise to the eventual rebirth of Ken Kaneki inside Haise as the CCG began an attempt to eradicate the Tsukiyama family for good. Haise and Tsukiyama battle, but Haise begins to have a mental breakdown as he’s unable to kill Tsukiyama. He then throws him off the roof of the building they fought on. The two would later reunite as members of an organization known as GOAT to help bring change to Ghoul-human relations. Tsukiyama forgave the now-reborn Kaneki for destroying his family legacy. He would later stick up for Kaneki with a memorable speech (which was the background photo for a meat dish at the Tokyo Ghoul:re cafe) near the end of Tokyo Ghoul:re when members of GOAT were questioning a super-deformed Kaneki’s desires.

So yeah, you succeed in getting a friendship back. But at what cost? Tsukiyama once admitted that his ego got in the way and he wanted Kaneki back for his sake. When thinking about renewed friendships, it’s hard to remember why the friendship ended in the first place. The excitement of re-connection all blinds us to a reality where the friend may not think the same way you do. Be careful of allowing yourself to be like Tsukiyama and think things will be clear-cut.

The best thing to do is let the friendship process slowly. It was quite a while before Kaneki and Tsukiyama became Ghoul buddies again. And it’s all about timing. Touka once told Tsukiyama that Kaneki should only be back when he’s ready to come back. Tsukiyama didn’t think highly of her thoughts then, but does see his timing was wrong during his fight with Haise. Kaneki needed some space to gather his thoughts and discover his role in the grand scheme of things. The timing of Kaneki establishing himself as the fabled One-Eyed King was perfect for Tsukiyama to make a more-informed move without complicated drama in-between.

If you noticed a major theme throughout the whole “let’s be friends again” ordeal, it’s that there was so much pain on both sides. Haise/Kaneki lost his mind over seeing people he once knew and started going through the same insecurities he’s had since birth, Tsukiyama lost all of his family guardians and servants to the CCG.

I was listening to a podcast about what’s stronger than hate and whether love was the answer. The host asked a religious community figure what advice would be applicable in building love for someone who’s completely different from you. That figure said in order to build love, you need to let emotional pain be a part of who you are. Do not avoid or toss it aside. Embrace the hurt. That’s when the light that connects others start to shine inside you.

If you think about it, strong friendships and bonds are made when both parties allow themselves to get to a level where they feel hurt by the same things alongside each other. Each person chooses to experience the pain the other person feels even if they never felt it before. We all live in the same world together and can’t let our personal bias close us off. What affects someone can affect us too. We need to support each other during rough times as that’s how meaningful change happens. Tsukiyama saw this as he noticed his family was sacrificing themselves to save him the same way Kaneki was trying to save Anteiku in the past.

Kaneki’s and Tsukiyama’s wacky, tense, sorrowful, yet enduring and pleasurable relationship over the span of the years is all about using the tragedy of life’s circumstances to make better connections with those around you. Don’t shy away from negative feelings. It’s such pain and trauma that makes someone feel alive and human.

Like Tsukiyama’s obsession with fine delicacies, wounds may not be the best ingredients on paper. But pair them up with powerful ingredients like friends and they create a fine, delicious, healthy and well-balanced meal for the soul.

#Shu Tsukiyama #Tokyo Ghoul #Tokyo Ghoul:re #manga #anime #friendship #chasing the past #mental health #glory days #psychology

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