#the postmoogles will be busy

[consulsmirror]

Do you have a favourite side-quest in ffxiv? Like the non-msq, non-blue-unlock ones?

I've done a lot of the arr side quests but not many of the others because I've just been busy doing other shit. However, however, I adore the postmoogle quests they're some of my favourite in the game. I love the connections between people and sometimes they're a little humerous too. I got a funny hat from it 🤍

[sayonaramidnight]

Nerd OC talk!

It's Holidays Time so let's get festive.

Does Tanit have a special tradition to celebrate her god? What does she do around Sun Festival, when everyone celebrates Pelor?

Does Helvi make a grand feast for Starlight? Who does she invite? What does she cook, since she is obviusly a great culinarian according to the culinarian job questline?

Back home Tanit usually hid in the dark and lit candles on that day, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she felt like dancing in the sunlit streets a little, she’s pretty curious about festivals of the living. As for celebrating her god, I’m sure once she learns to make the Heroes’ Feast, she’ll prepare one in the nearest graveyard and leave it for the dead. That’s how it was whe she lived with her grandpapa - on each equinox he would send his undead to hunt and gather anything relatively edible and then have them cook it all and leave it outside, in the desert. Next morning it was all gone. Tanit would join him in prayers, often composing her own ones - or songs - and then ran around the household, knocking on the lid of each coffin or sarcophagus, calling out to the dead to wake up and feast.

Helvi’s actually gonna spend a lot of gil on aetherytes, moving from one home to another, Ishgard first, because it’s been this festive for the first time in at least decades, so she helps decorating the city and visits the Fortemps estate for a dinner (Aymeric and the Haillenartes are invited too). Then Limsa, because she absolutely has to visit her aunt and uncle, along with Rhun, Arya and the twins, because auntie adores them all. And finally, playing Saint’s little helper in Uldah, because Nero has made a shitton of toys and Arianna has baked a cake again (and given her word it’ *fine* this time), so no child in the city will walk away empty-handed. Whew... There’s a lot to do, right? But Helvi doesn’t mind. She’s gonna bring grilled fish and cinnamon cookies. A Lot of cinnamon cookies <3

[wyrmwinds]

FFXIVWrite Day 19 - Turn a Blind Eye

Warnings: Blood, descriptions of gore, mentions of fantasy racism & sexual harrassment.

Pairing: None

Length: 845 words

Summary/Notes: I wanted to write Ava carving up some Wood Wailers. Very rough, I’ll clean it up later. Mentions of the final Lancer quest, based on the postmoogle quest "The past is a story we never tell", with a canon-divergent end. Those moonkeeper girls deserve better, y’all. 

- x -

It had all been going smoothly, up until they’d run into a Wailer checkpoint. Urha was more at large than Ava had expected, it seems.

     “You there! I name you as one of the Coeurlclaws ─ Balsam Rose, also known as Blood Rose, also known as the Thornless, also known as Lady Touch-Me-Not—”

    “No! I'm not those things, I swear it!” Urha fervently denies the charges. “I just wanted to see my sister, I just need to go home!”

    “Just like a Keeper. Come quietly or this'll go worse for you.” The taller of the two, a dark-haired wildwood, orders. Then, with a grin: “We're gentlemen here, compared to some of the lads you could've met. A pretty thing like you, I could —”

    The audacity of this man. With a flourish of her spear, Ava knocks both the wailers to the floor. A satisfying crack reaches her ears as its shaft cleanly hits the hyuran one’s shin.  

    “If you’re to act like a swine, I’ll butcher you like one.” She snarls before kicking the wildwood one down, planting her foot firmly on his chest as she stabs at his face. He lets out an anguished scream, intensified when she drives the blade of her weapon into him once again. And again. Over and over again until her hands were coated in slick crimson, his face mangled to the point that not even his mother could recognize him. She can feel him struggle and squeal beneath her but she stands her ground, digging her heel deeper into him. He calls out to his midlander companion with all his might, but he is too busy licking his wounds and limping away. For all their bluster, Wailers are simply self-serving cowards playing protector, aren’t they.

    She drags the blade of her spear down his neck, down to his chest, raw anger in her eyes as she shifts her weight down on it until it breaks through his armor and ribcage with a satisfying shank. Viscera spills from his wounded torso, glistening in the afternoon sun — akin to cracking open a runny melon. The man screams again, wheezing out insults as she twists her glaive deeper into him, only for them to quiet down into a wheeze — she must have punctured his lung. Still, he continues his barrage of insults, calling her a bitch, a whore, and when she doesn’t respond, he curses Urha and her sister as well. She understands it now, the gratifaction Foulques gained from seeing all those wailers strewn about by his hand. She had never killed someone with such ruthless savagery before, but she figured that if she were to start with anyone, this man deserved it — a vile man who would force himself onto women whose plight the people of Gridania would ignore. Scum like this didn’t deserve to live. 

    By now there’s no point in her continuing this brutality; he can’t fight back, even if he mustered up every onze of strength within him. Ava doesn’t care. The thick, coppery smell in the air and webs of ruby red splattered against her flesh seems to only empower her more, in fact. She stares coldly down at the blood dribbling down his mouth. About that promise to butcher him…

    Sweet Mauh shrieks in horror as she carves his limbs from his body, hacking the blade of her polearm back and forth like a saw. The poor man lacks the ability to even shout now, only able to wheeze unintelligible cries. His ample blood nourishes the weeds around them, stark crimson against muddy green. At least he’s of more use in death than he was in life, Ava thinks. 

    “The other one, he’s getting away!” Urha exclaims as Ava is making her way through the bone of his right shoulder. Only that brings Ava out of her violent trance. She turns and sees that he’s managed to crawl a good twenty or so yalms away, even with his twisted ankle and likely shattered leg. Ava yanks the elezen up by the hair so he can hear her.

    “I’ll get back to you later.” she hisses, then kicks him to the side. Before she sprints to catch up with his friend, she turns to the two Keeper sisters.

    “Go, I’ll be sure to see that his partner can speak none of this.” she urges. Urha nods and pulls her frozen sister away and out of her stupor. The two flee the shroud, never looking back.

    The hyuran wailer isn’t so lucky, his escape hindered when Ava presses him flat on the floor and treats him to a mouthful of dirt. 

    “A twisted leg wasn’t enough to stop you, hm? Seems like I’ll have to keep you from turning tail and squealing to the Adders about this some other way…”

- x - 

    Ava never heard from those girls again. She hopes they’re doing well. She can’t say the same for those damned wailers. If they know what’s best for them, they’ll stay where they belong — In a sad little creek, carved into unrecognizable chunks & staining the water red.

[allycryz]

Master Chouxchotement’s Illustrated Daily

News for Ishgardians of Discerning Minds and Tastes

The following articles are from MCID's FFXIV Write 9-15 Prompt: Crane. The content therein is rated M for Mature and hints at several pairings. Please direct your questions and comments to the nearest PostMoogle with our refined periodical's name.

“Artisans of Amorous Aides Seeing New Trend” by Master S. G. D. Chouxchotement

Our own Ishgard has long been home to artisans who direct their skill and expertise towards Amorous Aides. One such person has an exclusive and private clientele who pays for one-of-a-kind items as well as for her discretion. Not all people are as Modern as this paper and our dear readers, who do not shy from frank conversations about the body. Thus your understanding reporter has agreed to pseudonyms and the excising of certain identifying details.

Mistress X— crafts ingenious harnesses for those who wish to don a phallus. Her creations of leather, cloth, and sometimes precious metals are available only to those with deep pockets. Her chief delight is to create new devices which heighten carnal pleasures. I was allowed to examine one such item which uses aether to heat and pulsate in such a way as to stimulate a partner. Another allows the user to feel penetrated as they penetrate through ingenious design and not a little spellwork.

But as of late, more and more of her commissions are based upon the notion of mimicking Draconic Sex. Naturally, Mistress X— confided to me, there were products of that sort in the past. Such exchanges could only be created in the most discreet and trusted of places. I for one, dear reader, understand that one’s sensual fantasies needn’t reflect real life behavior. Alas, such was not the belief for most; and many who dreamed of such delight feared too much the Inquisitors’ sword.

In this new enlightened age, many are now free to seek aides that mimic a dragon’s ridges and scales. I am unable to describe her grandest commission as it will be so unique as to be a threat to the client’s anonymity. Suffice to say, it proves the fascination many might have with aspects of dragon procreation.

Editor's Note: I am told that dragons do not reproduce as we do and instead only bow to carnal desires simply for the pleasure of it. I suspect many believe our new allies assume they are rather like the pet lizards they encountered as youths.

Harnesses and their accompanying phalluses remain Mistress X—’s chief business. However, she is experimenting with a sleeve that may be fit to the customer’s flesh phallus, so as to simulate the sensation of a dragon member when they take their partner or partners. She has explained that such a trend is starting in other shops and she would like to provide her own version.

We will follow up, should this sleeve become a popular notion in discreet shops of Ishgard. Until then, I remain your humble reporter,

S. G. D. Chouxchotement

Seen and Heard: Dispatches from the Inner Circles of Ishgardian High Society

Item 1:

Last week, a certain lady stayed at her family’s home for a short rest from military duties. A certain young lord was seen throwing pebbles at her window at an outrageous hour of the night. No response was made until the lady’s father emerged to shoo him on his way.

Item 2:

Once again, a certain lord’s manservant is reported to have ordered enough food to serve three people. It is known the certain lord lives alone besides said manservant and a yet undetermined number of cats. Our source noted the purchase of breakfast ingredients as well as other goods.

Incidentally, it is said that a long-standing friend of this certain lord has recently returned to Ishgard. This friend, another son of our fair city, has yet to be seen by our sources but the rumors of his presence are from reputable people who would have such information.

Item 3:

A renowned Mor Dhona merchant has set up shop in Ishgard with her comely employees. The merchant was seen in a dress of brilliant honey yellow at Lord X—’s ball, dancing with every available lord and some who were unavailable. Mayhaps she shall add “Lady” to her name in the future?

Item 4:

Reports came of a famed songstress and a mistress of Thavnairian dance both visiting Ishgard. Neither seemed here to perform and so they must have simply desired to see the glorious sights of our home. They were seen dining with a certain retired lord, a widower of several years who greatly enjoyed their company. If he favored one over the other, no one was able to tell.

Last-Minute Addition:

We have halted printing to include this recent item: a certain lord and his long-standing friend were seen embracing most intimately with a third party. Details are scarce but observers agree that this third party was a Hyur man in a long white coat. Mayhaps a visitor caught the eye of these two esteemed sons of Ishgard?

Discreet Advice from M. Flauvien Fleur, Expert in the Sensual Arts

Dear M. Fleur,

I am in a predicament. My lover (a fine lady) and I (a man of limited experience) have arranged a private evening of pleasure with a gentleman of our acquaintance. She is quite excited.

As for me, I am also eager. But I have not ever been with another gentleman and do not want to burden them both with my inexperience. How shall I go about this?

-Mystified by Menage

Dear Mystified,

Congratulations on the splendid happenstance of a dear partner and a friend willing to share pleasure with you. I remember well my first menage, the glorious exploration of how multiple bodies might bring new and exciting bliss.

Everyone is a beginner in a thousand different ways. You are no burden. Rather, it seems you are extremely concerned with their enjoyment. I am sure they feel the same and would like to know how to better ease your way.

Before the evening, have an honest talk with both. If they are as kind as I hope, they will agree to ease you into the play and teach you as you go along. There are few things better than teaching a lover a new way in which to achieve new heights.

I suspect that you may like some practical advice. If you are able to get your hands either on M. Giroux's Pleasures of the Other Man or M. Etienne's Encyclopedic Guide to The Bodies and Its Senses, they will offer more mechanical details.

I suspect however, that your love and your friend will be more than willing to show you the way.

With love,

M. Flauvien Fleur

A note, from Lord Aymeric de Borel

My dear Haurchefant,

I suspect I know the answer but have you by chance taken on a second career; wielding the pen as you do the sword?

Yours,

Aymeric

A note, from Lord Haurchefant Greystone

My lovely Aymeric,

I am a man of many talents. By the by, what delights did you two get up to with Thancred and will you invite me next time?

With love,

Haurchefant

[haillenarte]

white day 2020;

Here is a full translation of the (thus far) Japanese-exclusive White Day 2020 Developer’s Blog post.

First, the dry translator’s disclaimers: I acknowledge that this post is four months old. Once upon a time, I was the sort of fan translator who would have rushed to get this done within a week of its posting, but in this case, I was busy with the Ishgardian Restoration Skybuilders’ Ranking when it was first posted, and then after that... well, I just busied myself with other things. I was tempted to skip doing this one completely, but then I felt obligated to complete the series given that I’d translated the post from 2018, so... goodbye to my Saturday morning and afternoon, I suppose.

This post is intended as a polished translation on par with official content. As such, I have taken certain liberties with the text: though it was originally in more or less a script format, I embellished it to make it a prose post consistent with other English developer’s blog posts. Most of the moogle’s narration was invented by me in order to preserve humor and narrative flow. This is nothing that the localization team itself does not do. I can assure you that the core details remain essentially intact and untouched.

If you would prefer to read a more literal take on this text, I am sure that more than a few rough translations exist of it already, so please look for someone else’s post if you want something that’s more of a word-for-word take.

Special thanks to the person I trust best to write Urianger’s dialogue for helping me with Urianger’s dialogue, and then to a second good friend for Elizabethan grammar-checking the both of us!

Happy White Day, Kupo!

March 13, 2020

It’s ever so nice to speak with you again, kupo!

Do you remember me from the last report, perchance? ‘Tis I, the ever-industrious deputy postmoogle’s apprentice! The rising star that’s, ahem, still training to become a full-fledged postmoogle... kupopo...

This Valentione’s Day — like every Valentione’s Day — we postmoogles were once again entrusted with delivering confessions of love all throughout the realm. So I’m here to give you an exclusive rundown on how my deliveries unfolded, kupo!

First, I tapped into my considerable experience as an aspiring postmoogle to... erm... take care of the most difficult delivery on my list before all the rest. A-As any professional would, obviously!

...Phew!

Oh, it was such a relief that he was asleep when I dropped by, kupopo... I thought my heart was going to thump straight out of my fluffy chest! My paws might have been severed... my pom plucked...

Honestly, I was of the distinct opinion that I had done more than my fair share of the year’s work after that, kupo, but of course I tirelessly flew away to my next destination without complaint!

The second set of Valentione’s Day packages in my delivery satchel were meant for Lord Hien of Doma!

Lord Hien greeted me himself, kupo, friendly as ever. "Ah, the postmaster — right on time as always!” he said, a little breathlessly. “You have my thanks. Would you just leave your deliveries on that table so that they come to no harm?”

What harm? I was more a bit confused, but then I realized that he was in the middle of some sort of... game?

He was running around, being chased by the leader of the Buduga clan, kupo. I suppose they were in the middle of an extremely spirited game of tag! How fun! I remember when I was a young moogle playing tag with my friends, floating in circles with the wind in my whiskers... Oh, for those halcyon days! 

Daidukul received a fair bit of stuff from his admirers, too, kupo. More than Magnai, that’s for sure...

Then Isse looked at me as I was laying out everyone’s packages. “Oh, the postmoogle’s arrived?” he asked. “Um, by any chance, are you the one who delivered the year-end gifts from last time? I meant to give my thanks to the person who sent me something then...”

Of course, I told him that would be perfectly fine!

After all, even when it’s not Valentione’s Day, it’s the responsibility of a delivery moogle — or delivery person — to ensure that all the tender feelings they’ve been entrusted with reach their intended recipients. That’s why there’s no better job for me than being a postmoogle!

After my business in Doma was concluded, I flew back to Eorzea, kupo.

I’m a real go-getter — and someone really ought to tell the deputy postmoogle of my great work ethic — so I darted straight to the Black Shroud to unload my paws of all the packages I had for the people there. And what luck! As fortune would have it, I met one of my delivery targets on the road: Sanson Smyth!

“Happy Valentione’s Day, Sanson!” I chirped. “I have some very special deliveries for you and your usual companion!”

“Companion?” Sanson repeated. He sounded a little incredulous. “Er, no, that’s not quite right — it would really be more accurate to call him a vexing subordinate... Regardless, if it is Guydelot you seek, he is no doubt at his usual tavern. Would you like me to walk there with you?”

Oh, but of course I did, kupo! Sanson’s such a thoughtful, helpful man, isn’t he? It was so very nice of him to ask.

Taverns are where travelers go to rest, so they seem like such wonderful places to meet other people, kupo...

Once I’d finished with my deliveries in the Shroud, I let the cool northern winds carry me straight to Ishgard, kupo. And what change it’s gone through! The city was just bustling with the reconstruction effort!

I told Edmont (Count Edmont? Lord Edmont? So confusing!) that I’d come to deliver joyful tidings of love to everyone in House Fortemps again, kupo!

And to Ser Aymeric as well, of course!

And... well, I had a whole sack of things to give to Estinien, but just like last time, he wasn’t anywhere to be found. Since writing his name on it and leaving it by the window seemed to work last Valentione’s Day, I asked Aymeric if I should do the same this year, but... kupopo... He didn’t quite seem to approve of the idea. 

“We’ve received word from our men afield that Estinien may no longer be operating in Ishgard,” Aymeric explained, “so it may not be enough merely to leave his gifts by the nearest window and expect him to come across them.”

My pom drooped a bit at this pronouncement, kupo. After all, how was I going to deliver Estinien’s presents if even the Ishgardians couldn’t find him? Was it all hopeless, kupo?! All those packages to be returned to their senders... What a waste!

“No, well... Another report indicated some success in luring him with the scent of roasted kraken, seared by dragon’s breath. We might try that, if you’d like.”

I thought that seemed like a reasonable suggestion, but Edmont looked a little concerned. “Ser Aymeric, do you truly think — ?” he began, but then he seemed to change his mind. “...No, forget that I spoke. That being said, the restoration of the Firmament is proceeding apace, so I would exercise caution around undue use of fire...”

Well, I am nothing if not a cautious moogle, so I very carefully cooked up some delicious grilled kraken over an open fire, kupo. We postmoogles truly go above and beyond for our work!

I left his packages with the salted cephalopod as it was roasting, so I’ll bet he was thrilled to find everything set up for him!

I didn’t forget to make deliveries to this place either, kupo.

Whenever I come here, the atmosphere of the room feels so... so holy, kupo. As if the very air is clear... but empty, too. Do you know what I mean?

I cleaned up my posture before I left, kupo, and then it was off to finish the rest of the deliveries!

I had successfully shared everyone’s expressions of love with all sorts of people in Eorzea, and now it was time for... um... the impossible, kupo. You see, I still had a whole stack of especially challenging deliveries to make to the First!

We moogles have a lot of special tricks up our poms, kupo, but even I can’t possibly visit another shard without a bit of help... 

I really hadn’t the foggiest idea how to get there, so I wound up consulting the helpful folks at the Eighteenth Floor to ask them how I could get to the First!

And do you know what? They were so nice, kupo! They said that because Valentione’s Day was such a special day, and because they wanted to accommodate everyone’s heartfelt feelings, they’d let me use a special door that would take me safely to the First. Though it was not without... stipulations...

They handed me an enchanted pocket watch and said that if I failed to return before the hand on the watch made a full turn around the clock, I’d never be able to go back to Eorzea again, kupo.

Terrifying! Utterly terrifying! What other job would possibly ask you to put your existence as you know it on the line, kupo?!

But I am, as I’ve said, a professional beyond compare... so I made up my mind and zipped right through that door!

...I admit, I passed out and lost consciousness as I was traveling between the worlds, kupo. But when I came to, I was in a beautiful purple forest, and I could vaguely hear someone calling for me!

So I bounced back into the air and fluttered off to the Crystal Tower, kupo!

Naturally, the first First resident I delivered packages to was the Crystal Exarch. I had things to give him as the Crystal Exarch, and... other things to give him, too, kupo. Presents from a different time, from when he went by a different name. 

Now, I must admit, I’ve never quite understood his situation, but I did dutifully deliver his Valentione’s Day gifts each and every year! I simply wasn’t able to enter the Crystal Tower, so I would leave them at the entrance, kupo. I told him this, and then I asked him if he’d received them.

...But he didn’t answer me, kupo! He just started crying!

What was a poor moogle to do? I mean, you’ll notice our paws aren’t exactly great for wiping tears away. Had I made a terrible mistake after all? Should I not have done that?

“No,” the Exarch said, shaking his head. “No, you... you have done nothing wrong, little moogle. Forgive me. Let us move on. We must needs formulate a plan to keep you safe as you navigate this shard.“

I was very grateful to have made the acquaintance of such a cooperative colleague, kupo! With his help, I charted a path through Norvrandt that would let me finish my deliveries in time.

Next time, though, I hope I’m given a bit more time to take in the sights. I still think of those beautiful flowers in Il Mheg, and all the sights and sounds in that luxurious seaside city, Eulmore...

The Scions of the Seventh Dawn were there on some sort of business trip, I suppose, and of course they received as many gifts as ever, kupopo. I was very pleased to meet young Ryne for the first time, though!

She was delighted to meet me too, I do believe, and when I explained to her what Valentione’s Day was all about, she smiled and said, “It’s so wonderful that there are such beautiful holidays on the Source!”

“I’m sure Norvrandt will begin celebrating its own holidays before long, now that it isn’t under threat of the Light,” Thancred told her. “If you want, you can start a holiday of your own, with your friends.”

“That’s true,” Ryne giggled.

Urianger was especially pleased to see Ryne smile, kupo! Er, what was it he said again? “Pray enjoy thy gifts, to the delight of those who give thee affection.” Something like that, kupo? And also, um... “Have care lest thou shouldst cross paths with pixies and their kin, for therein lieth a penchant for mischief most troublesome.”

Yes, that was it, kupo!

Seeing everyone smile made my heart feel all warm and fuzzy too, kupo. I realize I’m always warm and fuzzy, but I mean extraordinarily so!

After ensuring that all of my packages arrived in the hands of their recipients on land, I then had to travel all the way to the bottom of the deep blue sea. It still boggles my mind that people on the First live beneath the ocean waves, kupo!

It took me some time to find someone who would respond to me, but I managed it eventually. “Why, hello there!” I said. “Yes, you, the tall fellow over there! Do you know where I might find someone by the name of Emet-Selch? I’ve a long story that I haven’t the time to tell, but to cut it all short, I have a pile of presents that I must see into his hands!”

I couldn’t quite make out the tall fellow’s face behind his mask, but I got the impression that he was smiling at me, kupo. “You are troubled, little one. Yes, I understand... If you would deliver these glad tidings to him, then let me give you a helping hand. Here.”

Poof! 

I couldn’t believe my eyes, kupo! With a snap of his fingers, the tall man made all my packages for Emet-Selch disappear into bits of light!

This wasn’t in any of the procedural manuals the deputy postmoogle made me memorize back-to-front, so I admit I might have panicked a little bit... but the tall fellow calmed me down soon enough.

“Even sweet gifts such as those you bear are only masses of aether,” he explained. “Once reduced to their base components, they will go to where he is — where all life eventually arrives. Be at ease, child. Whatever his faults in character, our lord of the dead and king of the underworld is an exceedingly clever man. No matter how vast the sea of life may be, he will surely be able to pluck his presents from the aetherial flow... supposing he desires to do so, that is.”

Now, I didn’t truly understand the finer points of this explanation, kupo... but the masked man seemed sincere about getting those gifts to Emet-Selch, so I decided to believe that he hadn’t done any harm.

I wanted to thank him for his help, but then he was gone in the blink of an eye! Even though I was in the middle of speaking with him when he vanished!

The citizens of that place are so mysterious, kupopo...

After all that was said and done, kupo, I had one final delivery to make. Just one last addressee to track down, and then I’d be finished, kupo!

And I really put my all into it. I swear upon my postmoogle’s cap and bag! I looked everywhere, every mountain high and valley low, but I simply couldn’t track him down.

The time left on my pocket watch was starting to run out, kupo, so I had to accept defeat. Disappointed, dragging my drooping pom behind me, I made my way back to the door between worlds, which already looked like it was in danger of disappearing, and leapt through the gates...

Mayhap I had cut it so close to the last second that something went wrong, kupo?

I passed out again, and when I came to, I was rolling around on an unfamiliar grassy knoll... while someone was poking at me to wake up, kupo!

What luck! What incredible luck! It was the very person I’d been searching for, for all that time, up until the very last second — Ardbert!

I almost cried and threw myself at him, I was so happy! To think that I would find him like this! “Ardbert, Ardbert!” I said, like he was an old friend. “I finally found you! I had all these presents to give you, kupo!”

He laughed and took it all in stride, though this must have been greatly puzzling to him. “What’s this? Another reward for the quest we just finished?”

“No, it’s not, kupo!” I replied, perhaps a little more crossly than I should have. “Here, this is for you! Take this, and this, and this! It’s all yours, kupo! Each package represents someone’s feelings for you, kupo! Everyone loves you so much!”

“Careful, now — oh, these look delicious!” he exclaimed, affably embarrassed as he sorted through the boxes I was admittedly pelting him with. “And this is all for me? You’re sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure, kupo! Eat them all up and have more faith in yourself, Ardbert!”

His eyes crinkled at their corners when he smiled. “Hahah! You’ve got a point. Then I’ll share these with my friends just over there. My thanks for bringing them all this way here, postmoogle. You’ve done a great job.”

...

...

I don’t quite remember what happened after that, kupo...

When I came to, I was lying on the counter of the Seventh Heaven, evidently having dozed off next to that Wandering Minstrel fellow. At first, I thought perhaps meeting Ardbert in that strange world had been nothing but a dream, but when I checked my postmoogle’s bag, I realized that it was much lighter, kupo!

So I really had met him, and I really had completed all my deliveries!

This year’s Valentione’s Day deliveries were arduous and difficult, kupo, but at the end of the day, I really did have a lot of fun. 

I delivered all of your love to everyone else, kupo... and now I’m here to deliver their love back to you!

One more time, for everyone’s sake: Happy White Day, kupo!

[pervasivescariness]

Mounts and Minions Meme

Meet Gyoshin...

Neither mount nor minion, this portly fellow is Bee's self-proclaimed steward and unwanted student.

Having found himself wishing for a more fulfilling purpose in his life, Gyoshin had left the safety of his home and set out upon his own adventure. Unfortunately for this portly fellow, luck was not on his side and he soon found himself stumbling upon a small encampment full of  bandits who had not seen a proper meal in many moons. The sight of a rather round catfish walking right into their camp just as they were settling in for supper was nothing short of a blessing in their eyes and they wasted no time in capturing the poor thing and stringing him up by the fire. Before he could resign himself to his delicious fate, however, his prayers for help were answered in the form of a hail of aether swords from the sky.

As it would happen, Bee had been passing by on unrelated business when she had mistaken his cries for that of a distressed child. Rushing to his rescue, it was not until after she had sent the bandits scattering that she realized she had rescued a curious fishman instead. Grateful for her help and quite taken with her magical prowess, Gyoshin decided then and there that his destiny was to become just as she; a powerful mage. He insisted she take him in as a student, pledging himself to her and offering his help in exchange for her knowledge. Declining both offers, Bee sent him along his way and continued along hers.

Gyoshin was not to be deterred so easily, however, and spent the next three moons quietly following her about her business. When it came time for her to depart, he managed to sneak aboard the ship that bore her back to Limsa. Halfway through the journey back to Limsa Gyoshin's luck again soured and he was discovered in the hold, stuffed comfortably into a barrel, half asleep. The crew, not knowing what to make of the strange talking fish, sought to toss him overboard and return him to the sea to ensure no ill omens followed them to port. Recognizing the struggling mass of fin and whiskers, Bee claimed him as an escaped pet and bargained for his release back into her custody, once more rescuing the namazu from a terrible fate. In debt to her twice over, Gyoshin insisted once more that she allow him to at least repay this debt. Knowing that it would take far too much time and effort to send him back at this point, and quite amused by his tenacity and determination, Bee finally relented and agreed to allow him to come live with her for a time.

This is how Gyoshin came to live in La Noscea.

Eager to prove himself to his self appointed master, Gyoshin has taken on the mantle of steward. He does what he can to help Bee out around the house, taking care of small tasks such as watering plants, fetching things,  answering the door and bringing Bee mail (much to the eternal chagrin of the postmoogles).

( Once he decided to rearrange all the books in her study by color. Gyoshin got halfway through his task before falling asleep and it took Bee two full days to restore order to her study thereafter... )

He is very friendly, a bit dim, but well meaning. Gyoshin tends to be very literal and is seemingly incapable of lying, especially when a few cups into his tea. After a certain tea-realated incident, however, Bee has made it a rule that he is not to be given any tea without her direct supervision. This has not stopped the dear thing from attempting to convince her otherwise, however. Gyoshin is often times more a hindrance than a help, yet Bee has developed quite a soft spot for the little guy. While she is unable to teach him magic, due to him not having a single magical bone in his tiny body, she has taken more time recently to help him learn how to properly do other things so the can legitimately help her out as she has found him to be a welcome presence in her life.

So, if you happen to be friends with Bee or do business with her, you may just see this little fellow! Please be kind and do not give him any tea, no matter what he tells you.

[ So at this point in time, Bee does not have any IC mounts or minions, really. She doesn’t have a lot of time for pets and has no idea how to take care of a chocobo or anything of the sort, so at the moment, Gyoshin is really all that could be considered anything close. ]

Tagged by: @jinjucoffeecatte​ <3 Thank you for making this meme! It’s so cute! :3c

Taggging: @artlessmeat​ @tajlana​ @ivaan-ffxiv​ @fiddle021​ @gyrin​ @shirtlesslizard​ @valde-draesia​ @nightmaze​ @geisterfuchs​ @jateshi​ @thorcatte​ and anyone/everyone else who wants to do this! <3

[starswornoaths]

⭐️

- Poor Euphemia has had to deal with both Arcbane siblings fretting over her. Often she will be minding her own business when suddenly a postmoogle is handing her a package with a tin packed with a soothing lavender and chamomile tea blend in it with a note, “I use this when I can’t sleep, I hope you enjoy! -Serella.” When she tracks the Paladin down insisting that she need not fret over her so, she us suddenly ushered in for tea and a chat. Or whenever she runs into Uthengentle, he promptly insists that he repair her gear for her- maybe upgrade it here and there where he can. The only payment he accepts is conversation while he works. She appreciates their concern but is exasperated that they’re as concerned with her as they are.

[onwesterlywinds]

Bump and Grind

A year ago, Ashley would have been unable to recall the names of those in the bar. Now, though he would not admit it aloud, he was grateful that Orella had convinced him to come up from the workshop for the evening. These people had never been his friends - they had scarcely been his comrades, due to his role as a solo operative - and yet he found himself nonetheless enjoying the companionship of those who had walked paths even the least bit similar to his own.

The reunion was an impromptu one, arranged only that morning when Ingvald had sent out word of his return to the Sandsea, and all preparations - if the scattered bottles on the counter of whatever Ashelia had on hand were any indication - had proven minimal. By the time Ashley had forced back all reservations of showing his face, the arrivals had greeted him with such unexpected warmth that he had known he had chosen well to attend.

For all that these former Kingsguard knights had been idiots throughout their tenure, they had been honest ones.

"What do you think?"

"Hm?"

The man whom Orella had introduced only as "Theodoric's favorite dartboard" - Berend, the Armsbreaker - nudged his side. "Which of us's more like to go bald first: me or Einar."

Ingvald rolled his eyes behind Berend's back and Orella let out a huff of frustration, but Ashley could not recall having seen either of them with such peace on their faces. More to dispel the expectant silence than out of any real sense of obligation, he replied to Berend, "You. Almost certainly you."

Yet for all the mirth, the air throughout the Sandsea sparked with countless tiny tensions: Orella and Berend exchanged retorts with an ease that suggested something deeper than old habit, and even the most casual of topics might be interrupted with a selection of choice words about imperial service or skulking in sewers or oaths forsaken. Most omnipresent of all were the absences of those Ashley could not name - not until Ingvald spoke up for what might have been the first time all evening.

"Einar. You said you'd heard word from Halgyth?"

The others stalled their banter to take note of Einar's incoming reply.

"Heard word of her, really." Einar turned on his barstool and leaned his wiry forearms back against the counter, the better to survey the room at large. "I've an idea of where she's been, and that's about it."

Ashley had long been meaning to properly thank Einar for his role in Orella's and Ingvald's surveillance of the Ala Mhigan Quarter prior to the capital's liberation. He also had numerous questions for the man as to the state of the Undercity, but such things would, by necessity, have to wait until the Eastern Spray's former comrades were well and truly out of earshot.

"I'd like to go with you," said Ingvald, his face and voice still serious in spite of his nearly empty tankard. "Assuming you mean to find her."

Einar nodded. "Of course. Old man deserved a better end, and his sister deserves better than to be alone."

Ingvald muttered some reply that Ashley could not make out as the door to the manse creaked open from behind. The others, slow to respond from the cheer and the drink, seemed not to notice.

The newcomer wore a beaten set of green leathers, and at his hip rested a sheathless sword covered in nicks and scrapes. Ashley recognized him the moment he turned to survey the bar: he had espied the man's sharp nose and thin, smug smirk in no few of his "visions," back when he had thought his Echo dreams to be vestiges of Alma. He had fought Immortal Flames patrols alongside this man, had held down a merchant for him to beat, had sprinted alongside him across the Sagolii-

No. Not he, but Ashelia.

Only when the man let out a low whistle of exclamation did the others turn around - and for all Orella and Berend had been bickering only moments ago, the shock that registered on their faces was identical. Even Einar lowered his tankard from his mouth.

"...Gisfrid," said Ingvald at last.

"Quite the gathering. I imagine the postmoogle lost my invitation?" Gisfrid's chuckle tapered out into silence. "Though it seems Zartosht-"

"Dead," Ingvald retorted. "More than eighteen years ago."

Gisfrid frowned at that. "A shame," he muttered, and nothing in his voice indicated a lack of sincerity.

"Why are you here?" Orella stepped forth, her brows knit with rage. "Shouldn't you be off slitting throats in the desert?"

"Hardly." Gisfrid's eyes scanned the tiny crowd once again and gave a small, nearly imperceptible start upon finding Ashley for the first time. He concealed the gesture with a nod of recognition as his and Ashley's eyes met. "I'm looking for your daughter."

"On what business?" Orella pressed.

"And what are you, then? Her nursemaid?"

"You will tell me what business you have with the Grand Steward."

Gisfrid gave a dramatic shrug, accompanied by a roll of his eyes to rival any of Ingvald's. "I'm here on behalf of Milleuda - 'the Slitter' to you, since it seems we're all so insistent on formalities. We would ask Miss Ashelia to help the Corpse Brigade petition for diplomatic immunity in the new Ala Mhigo."

The mere idea of the proposal stunned the room into silence. Ashley, for his part, could not envision the freed city gaining anything in permitting the most detested brigands of a generation to return home with full pardons, even without the mad king to legitimize them. He merely stared at Gisfrid's sneering face until Berend rent the quiet with a single laugh. Yet it was Ingvald who spoke first. "Like hells you will."

"So defensive, the lot of you." He sidled over to the center of the bar and the pitcher atop it, winding his way past his former comrades and enduring their stares all the while; when he drank from the glass he poured, it was with the great insistence of a man who did not know when he would next slake his thirst. "You think so little of me now? Kept your own hands perfectly clean all these years, have you?"

Ingvald gritted his teeth, though his glance flitted to Orella for a fraction of a second.

Gisfrid smirked around the room once again, gesturing with his glass. "I should think I deserve better hospitality under this roof. Your dear Grand Steward owes me her life twelvefold. I taught her things that kept her alive - things that brought her to the gates of Cotter Tor - better than her own father."

Don't react. Don't give him what he wants. Ashley breathed in deep, the better to mitigate his Echo and the subsequent likelihood that his daughter would bear witness to this-

But Gisfrid stepped up to Ashley once, twice - so close that he could see every detail of his worn teeth. "And I daresay half the men in Gundobald's Resistance owe me a debt of gratitude for the things I taught your little girl."

Gisfrid reached up, too slowly for an attack, to mime with his closed hand the gesture of sucking a cock.

In the next instant, Gisfrid crumpled as Orella leaped in and punched him to the floor.

What remained of Gisfrid's ale fell from his grasp and shattered against the stone tile beneath their feet; Orella brought herself down into the spill to better reach him, and her blows continued one after another. Writ all across her face was a fury that Ashley had never before seen from her. Orella was all gritted teeth and bared muscle, and within moments, flecks of blood from Gisfrid's nose drenched her knuckles and spotted her front. Berend knelt only to secure Gisfrid's hands behind him and prop him up for a more thorough beating; Ingvald clambered to wrestle her away. The moment he tore her free, he too reached down to pummel his former superior's face, which - for some justice - was no longer smug.

All the while, Einar stood over the melee and laughed - a humorless, menacing laugh, one that might have made any other observer shiver.

"DON'T EVER SPEAK OF HER LIKE THAT AGAIN!" Orella punctuated each of her shouts with a kick to the ribs for good measure. "SHE'S THRICE THE ALA MHIGAN YOU EVER WERE!"

And - not for the first time since reuniting with her - Rosenheim had no idea whether he should engage himself in his daughter's defense.

"What in the seven hells is going on?"

Ashelia's voice cut through the din in an instant. Orella, Ingvald, and even Berend stood to snap to attention; Gisfrid hobbled to his feet, leaning against one of the bar's circular tables and wiping at his bloodied nose with far less dignity than his former comrades. Ashelia had arrived in the front hall, draped in the Dravanian furs she so often wore on sleepless nights. Rosenheim had neither heard nor sensed her approach - and aside from her impartial glare, he could discern none of her emotional response to the situation at hand.

"Good to see you again, Riot," Gisfrid croaked.

"I imagine it is."

"Your hair's gotten shorter."

"Why have you come here?"

"Your new subordinates are as insubordinate as they were twenty years ago."

"Gisfrid."

"The Corpse Brigade - what's left of us - are ready to return home." And now, with the smugness thoroughly wrung from him, he beseeched her as would any other refugee. "However, given our current status with the Immortal Flames, I thought it best to ask for you to petition on our behalf-"

Ashelia cut him off. "I'll consider it."

"Consider, too, if you would, that no few of us are ill." He smirked. "Underfed, undergarbed, aggrieved by all sorts of maladies. Blacktooth, for instance, still has his seizures from when you dashed his head against the stone of the Sepulchre."

"I can imagine you're eager to return to the red light alleys where you grew up," said Ashelia.

Some part of Gisfrid's jaw tensed at that, and his brow furrowed in an instant. Einar, his mouth agape in awe, let out a whisper of "Fucking hell."

"But I have several meetings in a row tomorrow with Lyse Hext, the Eorzean Alliance, and a representative from the Doman Liberation Front that I have yet to prepare for. I will accommodate your request as soon as I find the time."

"I suppose some healing would not go amiss in the meanwhile?"

Ashelia rummaged in a pocket for all of several seconds and withdrew a small potion vial, which she pressed into his hand. "There. Now you can report to the Slitter that my hospitality was not entirely lacking." She scanned the faces of each of the former Kingsguard, her face still cold. "See that he makes his way to the Sagolii, if you would."

Before Rosenheim could open his mouth to volunteer himself for the task, Einar took hold of Gisfrid by the arms and marched him from the Sandsea. The Corpse Brigade lieutenant, the potion yet clutched in his hands, did not so much as incline his head farewell. Ingvald followed after Einar to leave Orella and Berend to moping about in the silent bar. With that, the brawl was concluded.

"I'd sooner open the city to the imperials," Ashelia snarled - to her father moreso than anyone else - and ran a hand through her hair in a frenzy as she stormed off once more to her chambers.

[arealmretold]

Day 5

Dear Marques,

I hope this letter finds you well. I must thank you all again for sponsoring my journey to Gridania; I feel like an entirely new person.

I suppose that is, in part, to the new name I have taken. Mother Miounne, who runs the Adventurer’s guild here, was not amused at first-I guess a fair number of adventurers use ‘amusing aliases’ when they first sign up, but she was understanding once I explained the circumstances. I am now officially enrolled as ‘Tinka Ortechl’, a name that will take some getting used to. But I dare not take my own while my Uncle still walks Eorzea.

You were right, by the way-The Black Forest is far cooler than Thanalan is. It will take some getting used to, but I am told Coerthas to the north is far colder. I can’t imagine it can get much cooler than this!

I did, eventually, find the Conjurers Guild. It’s hidden in a grove deep in Gridania. Everyone here is nice, if a bit distant. E-Yumi-San told me it’s uncommon to have Non-Gridanians enroll, so they don’t know what to make of me. I hope I don’t make too much of an embarrassment of myself. My first few days have been busy, filled with studying the basics of conjury. So far it’s been a lot of sitting and listening to the elementals. At least I think so-all I’ve heard so far is silence. I’m not sure if I’m not fully aware of them yet, or if I’m just being made fun of because I’m an outsider.

But the books! The Conjurer’s guild has a small library of books available for students to borrow from. I think I’ve read three already. I never had time to sit and read like this before. It was worth coming to Gridania just for this. If it weren’t for my lessons I could sit here and read all day.

Well, my lessons and occasional errands for the Adventurer’s guild. Miounne was right-my Conjurer’s stipend only stretches so far. Mostly I’ve been running packages back and forth within the city that aren’t worth bothering the postmoogles for. Not glorious work, but I don’t mind. It’s a great way to get to know the city. I understand there are a number of places that outsiders aren’t allowed, but so far all I have needed to do is ferry goods between the various goods and the markets. I’ve met so many people already! I might need to start taking notes to keep everyone straight.

I am doing well, and hope you are the same. Perhaps some day when I have learned enough to travel I can come and visit.

[yutikyis]

Aggressive Passiveness

Ul’dah might have a reputation for a lot of things, but one thing it absolutely had was some damn fine inns. So many folks came to the town with gil to spend that inns had to compete for business from the easily-bilked out-of-towners. It meant if you knew where to look you could find a Hells of a place for little effort. That was how Reri had found herself spending the night in a well-stocked little in room, complete with complimentary booze. The damned idiots. It might not be the finest stuff but it was all the same once it was in your stomach. Reri was splayed out on a bed, fighting off the urge to head out into the town. She was already three sheets to the wind and as fun as a drunken fight sounded right about now she figured the Blades were probably on watch for troublemakers. What a shite night it was anyway. The snow was coming down heavier than before and even the thieves and whores were probably keeping indoors. Not a damn interesting thing happening in the whole of the city.  She’d been just about to drift off to bed when she heard a terrified squeaking “Kup-.” It probably should have been a kupo but her dagger was out and flying through the air before it finished, coming within a spider’s thread of sheering off the poor floating postmoogle’s pom, plonking into the wood right next to it with a loud thunk. “Kupo! Don’t! Stop! Cease! Desist! I didn’t come to hurt you, Kupo, I..” Reri was up and moving before it could say another word. She reached out and grabbed the Moogle by the pom, leaning her face close. “I’m drunk an’ I’m angry, so quit Kupoin’ at me before I decide to make ya into a handbag.” The terrified pile of fluff squirmed and wiggled before reaching into its tiny postbag and drawing out a carefully wrapped package. Reri’s eyes flickered down towards it... and the moogle threw it at her face and then quickly darted away as she let go to grab it. “There! There’s your gift, kupo! Go kupo yourself,” it grumbled angrily as it fluttered quickly out of the room. Reri was tempted to toss a dagger after it but honestly it wasn’t worth the trouble. They’d probably start throwing her mail in the river if she did.  She flopped down on the bed and stared at the package for a moment before noticing a small hand-written card attached to it. Curiosity overcoming drunken surliness, she opened the card and read. The handwriting was simple, neat and familiar. “Hello Mother- We’ve seen very little of each other since you came to Eorzea and from the stories I’ve heard you’ve certainly made a reputation for yourself  However it is Starlight and Starlight is a time of goodwill and kindness towards others. Even those you do not get along with well. It is after all a celebration of empathy, altruism and selflessness. As such I’ve attached your present to this letter in hopes you’ll remember that. A good Starlight to you. -Yuti.” Reri read the letter over twice, her tail giving a swish of annoyance. That arrogant little tart knew exactly what she was getting at, didn’t she? She couldn’t even be aggressive without being passive, could she? Reri took the package and opened it up. Probably was going to be a damn book, wasn’t it? The Snowflake tended to love that sort of thing. To her surprise it was nothing of the sort. Inside the package were two ornate daggers carved of some exotic chitinous blue material. She picked one up and examined it curiously, turning it left and right in her hand for a moment. The hilt seemed to pick up the heat from her hand and the blade slowly dissolved from a pale blue to a glowing red. She let out a small ‘huh’ of surprise and gave the blade a toss into the air before catching it. Too heavy to throw but the extra weight and size would make it good for close up fighting, and the blade itself seemed sharp as a razor.  Damn. Snowflake couldn’t even piss her off right, could she? Send that snotty letter and then include an actual worthwhile gift. Or maybe that was the way to piss her off. If the Snowflake had given her a book she’d have just chucked it in the fire. These were too nice to toss away though. She examined the blades curiously, testing their heft and weight, grinning slightly to herself. Well, joke was on the Snowflake. Nothing cheered her up like a good dagger anyway. Poor girl couldn’t even be a shite to her mother right. She’d never learn. Reri set the daggers aside and flopped back onto the bed. She’d go out hunting in the morning, give them a whirl. Better luck next year, Yuti. Someday you’ll learn how to be a right and proper bitch.  

[peacekeeper-xiv]

Moogle Mail

K’risa tapped her foot impatiently as the man looked over the record. After a moment he looked up, shaking his head slowly. Everything the man did was slow and it irritated her to no end.

“I’m sorry miss. There are no available plots for your… studio.”

Her ears flattened against her head despite having expected the news. “Alright. Thank you anyways.”

Turning, she started off back out of the Lavender Beds and quickly made her way back to Gridania. J’ahama and P’arunru were waiting for her at the pier but they both saw her expression and they too felt their ears droop.

“Nothing? Not even anything coming up?”

K’risa shook her head. “They said there were plans. Nothing solid though. Nothing I can build a business around.” The two retainers frowned. “So… what’s the plan then miss Mau?” K’risa frowned. “I told you not to call me that. You know I hate it. Makes me feel old.” J’ahama made a face. “How can you ever feel old? You never even stop long enough to take a breath!” K’risa rolled her eyes at the retainer.

“Anyways, never mind that. Did you two finish your work today?”

P’arunru sheepishly kicked at the dirt.

“You didn’t? Look, guys. I told you I’d help you get on your feet after you left your tribes, but you have to actually do the work I give you.”

J’ahama spoke up. “I brought you something!” K’risa turned on her heel and smiled. “Good! What did you bring?” J’ahama beamed happily at the attention and opened up the pack pulling out a crayfish. “See!”

A hand came up and rubbed her face, spearing the warpaint some. “You are an archer. I bought you a bow. I bout you a bow and introduced you to Luciane. Did you shoot the crayfish?”

J’ahama looked at her like she was crazy. “No. Of course not. That wouldn’t make any sense!”

Another sigh. “Okay, look. I have to figure out what I’m going to do next. Here are a couple ventures. Go turn them in to the vocate, get something to eat, and then go actually hunt something. Bring me back something I can use, okay?” Her tail swished behind her annoyed. The other two Miqo’te took the coins happily and nodded. “Yes ma’am!” A third sigh and they were off, bouncing away like happy children on Starlight.

“You’re too nice for your own good, K’risa.” She said to herself as she turned to go the opposite way.

After a while she stopped, realized she had no idea where her feet had led her, and took a moment to look around and get her bearings. Mih Khetto's Amphitheatre. Well, at least she hadn’t gotten lost. She spun around to head back towards the markets when she saw him. The delivery moogle. Her mind seemed to almost stop as she stared at the fluffy creature, one of the few that regularly showed itself. Just as quickly as the fog had come, it rolled away and her mind began to race.

Rushing up to the small creature she spoke excitedly. “Hey! Hey mister moogle?” The postmoogle spun around, ever chipper. “Yes, kupo?” K’risa launched into her idea without a second to lose. “Hey, if I gave you a ton of letters to send out to say, everyone in the Goblet or maybe just randomly to people, would you deliver them?” A curious tilt of his head sent his pom flopping over some. “…yes?”

She clapped her hands together excitedly and started to bounce on her heels some as the idea came together in her head. “Alright, thank you!”

She couldn’t hear the moogles response as she ran off too quickly. She bought a stack of parchment, an extra quill, and more ink and then rushed off to find a quiet place to get to work. It was hours later that she finally completed the order forms and smiled as she looked down at her handiwork.

Nearly a hundred order forms with a return address to have them delivered to her. She had no idea if she’d get any orders at all but in case there were a lot she decided to list simple, easier to make designs on the order forms.

She bounced breathlessly back to where the post moogle was stationed and held out the stack. “Here you go! I need this stack delivered to people in the Goblet, this one to Lavender Beds, and this one to the Mist. Just put them in random mailboxes for apartments please.” The moogle blinked in surprise and confusion but after a moment gave a wary nod. “Okay, kupo.”

K’risa beamed happily, grabbing the fluffy creature and wrapping him in a hug. “Great! Now… I better go check on J’ahama and P’arunru, they were supposed to be back hours ago.

[kellachfromthewoods]

Honest Q&A (Copy and Answer)

What is your full name?

“Kellach Woods.”

What do your friends call you?

“People usually just call me Kell. The domans use all of their honorifics or something like that, but I forgot what they are.”

What is your favorite animal?

“I don’t have a favorite animal - I like all of them, and usually there’s one or two that get really attached to me. Although I haven’t seen some of them in a while..”

Where were you born?

"Born and raised on a farm on the island of Toegisil, situated to the south south west of Vylbrand. I’d... not look it up though. Nothing but ashes there, now...”

Do you have children?

“N-no I don’t? We might adopt, if we ever feel like it but unless chicanery is afoot, I don’t think we’ll ever have children.”

Is there a person/people you love?

“I’m married to the love of my life, Eamont Desormaux.”

What is your favorite color?

"I like me some yellow, but I tend to stick with darker reds or blues when it comes to highlights and lip colors.”

What is your full occupation?

"Ruins explorer, adventurer, caravan escort, Shroud guide, Postmoogle deputy and more recently cartographer-spelunker. I keep busy.”

Are you good at physical fighting?

"I can handle a weapon or several. I wouldn’t listen to those silly rumors about me that float around the Silver Bazaar though.”

Which form are you best at?

"I’ve most of my skill in the greatax, mostly from logging and slaughtering cattle, but I’ve picked up the one handed sword, and I can handle myself in a brawl. I can shoot a bow and a gun, but I’m not all that fancy at it. I’ve tried poking at things with a spear, but I need more practice.”

What about magic?

"I tried practicing magic! I was originally supposed to be an arcanist, but ever since I’ve started, well, copying others all the talent’s gone. Can’t cast a spell on my own.”

Which type are you best at?

"I just told you I can’t cast spells?”

Craftsmanship?

"Working on a farm, you learn to dabble in all sorts of things. I can work wood, I’ve picked up some blacksmithing tips, and camping alone, you learn how to cook things you never thought possible. Nothing fancy like alchemy or goldsmithing, but I can work my way around the rest of ‘em.”

Any other skills?

"We probably shouldn’t get into that.”

Are you an only child?

"No, I’ve got a brother, and I outlived my two sisters...”

Where do you see yourself in five years?

"Probably still adventuring, and hopefully still wedded to Eamont.”

Have you ever almost died?

"Too many times to count.” 

Do you have a secret, not just a secret, but like a really big secret hardly anyone knows?

”It kind of ties with those other skills - Most people in the Tower know because they’ve seen me do it before. Others might have seen me do it, but most of ‘em wouldn’t understand. I... don’t quite get it myself.”

Salty or sweet?

“Sweets are nice. Too salty is bad, but I’d rather salty.”

Do you like yourself?

"I didn’t, then I did, then I didn’t, and then I did. It comes and goes.”

Do you believe in the Twelve?

"Not really? They’re not my deities.”

Are you religious?

"I used to be - I still carry the Book of Rites with me at all times, but I don’t do them often enough. Granted, most of them tie in with farming and I’m not living that kind of life anymore.”

Do you carry prejudice with you?

"I do, but I’ve lived a lot of things that have kind of cemented those prejudices? Anyone who willingly consorted with the Void should be put to death, without any sort of trial. Don’t trust an Ul’dahn unless you have it in writing, and even then, get bribe money for the Brass Blades. Gridania’s filled with con men that couldn’t hack it in Ul’dah and they call themselves Hearers.

I can handle the other things I’ve said, but the Void thing? That’s final. That is one prejudice I will never step on.”

What do you consider entertainment?

"I... don’t exactly entertain myself. Not much of that going around where I used to live, and I’ve ever been so busy.”

Favorite drink?

"Lominsan Grog, mostly. Was my first drink.”

Do you have any family traditions?

"Next question.”

Are you a good person?

“If you average out the good things I did over the bad, then yes? I don’t think we’re universally good or bad.”

Thank you for answering my questions.

"You’re welcome!”

Tagged by: @little-purple-thundercloud kind of.

Tagging: Who wants to do it? Y’all usually do it before I do.

[high-stakes-gambler]

What could go wrong?

[[ @tidusyumemiru ]]

A trusty postmoogle had brought Isen a letter, apparently one all the way from Kugane where his spud friend had decided to begin a new business. Now normally a letter from him was usually brought along with a gift, but this one arrived with none. Further more, it was paid extra to be brought as soon as possible.

“Dear Isen, I apologize to write to you so suddenly and hardly for a pleasant matters. As you know I’ve been attempting to open business in Kugane. The procedure has been rather tedious. For that reason I’ve been trying to catch the eye of various investors and possible business partners. Such was with a lady by the name Evelyn Campbell. Now that name strikes no memory of me and I’m in no position to ask around. Many seems tight lipped regarding her. She seemed interested in a partnership and a meeting was planned. Now, normally I would handle such a business alone but I can’t help but listen to my instincts which alarm me. I rather be with a company I can rely on. Would it be a trouble to accompany me to this business matter, my friend? - T.A.”

[haillenarte]

not-so-silent night

Here is a partial translation of “Not-so-silent Night,” this year’s Starlight Celebration quest.

Longtime followers of this blog will be well aware of my general translation style, but for the record, this is a slightly stylized translation done in the style of the official localization. It is not completely literal in some parts. For example, in a place where Maisenta simply said “Delicate and beautiful music is sold,” an awkward sentence by English literary standards, I invented a followup to make it “Delicate and beautiful music always sells well — all the better when it is performed by delicate and beautiful men.” I do this kind of thing primarily because people criticize “the Japanese version” as being “dry and boring” if I don’t, but I promise you that apart from minor additions like these, the sentiment and tone of the Japanese version is unchanged.

Note that Maisenta’s reaction to you is slightly different depending on whether or not you completed the postmoogle quest “Sweet Words, Shadowy Dealings.” The guildmasters also react differently if they have reason to recognize you.

NOT-SO-SILENT NIGHT 星芒祭の協力者たち "starlight symphonists”

(lit. “collaborators of the starlight celebration”)

マイセンタ : お待たせしましたわね。 ゲヴァさんとは仕事上、懇意にしていますから、 内密な商談などに、この場をお借りしているのですわ。 マイセンタ : 警備が厳重なところほど、 内側に潜り込めれば、安全ですからね。 私が出入りしていても、仕入れとしか思われませんし。

MAISENTA: Thank you for waiting on my behalf. Guildmaster Geva and I know each other through business, so she lets me use the terrace here for, ahem, confidential negotiations. And other such things. MAISENTA: Oh, are you concerned about our speaking outside? I assure you, there’s no need to worry. The security around the Leatherworker’s Guild is so reliable that I’ve had plenty of private conversations here without issue. Besides, even if anyone spots us leaving or entering, they’ll simply assume that I’m here to purchase Fen-Yll goods. 

LOCALIZATION Maisenta: Thank you for agreeing to meet me here. I'm on good terms with Guildmaster Geva and she lets me use this space for...well, that's a story for another time. Or perhaps never. Maisenta: Naturally, a quiet spot like this is ideal for avoiding unwanted attention, while the guard─who has been asked to turn a blind eye─is an effective deterrent to any would-be eavesdroppers.

→ If you have not completed the Postmoogle quest...

マイセンタ : この子たちは、「ホムンクルス」という吟遊詩人集団ですわ。 黒兎堂が資金を援助して、活動の支援をする代わりに、 うちの広告塔になってもらっていますの。 マイセンタ : これでも、グリダニアの婦女子を中心に、 けっこう人気がありますのよ。 繊細で美しい詩歌が売りですの。

MAISENTA: Now, shall I introduce you to my boys? These are the traveling bards known as the Homunculi. We maintain a mutually beneficial relationship, you see: Black Rabbit Traders gives them financial support for their musical endeavors, and they promote our fine range of fashionable attire in return. MAISENTA: As I’m sure you can imagine, they are wildly adored by the women of Gridania. Delicate and beautiful music always sells well — all the better when it is performed by delicate and beautiful men.

LOCALIZATION Maisenta: It gives me great pleasure to introduce the Homunculi, the greatest musical sensation the realm has ever known. While I am not one to boast, I should point out that I played no small part in bringing them and my organization, Black Rabbit Traders, together in a mutually beneficial partnership. Maisenta: We cover their expenses while they promote our fine range of fashionable attire as they enchant hoards of besotted onlookers. Although I should warn you─any rumors of them siring a string of bastards across Eorzea are entirely unfounded. Well, mostly unfounded.

→ If you have completed the Postmoogle quest...

マイセンタ : それにしても、あなたと「ホムンクルス」がそろっていると、 あわや契約解消になりそうだった、あの事件を思い出しますわ。 遠い昔のような、最近のような……不思議な気分ですわね。 マイセンタ : 彼らの活動も順調でしてよ。 いまはエオルゼア諸都市をめぐる巡業公演の夢にむけて、 黒兎堂も引き続き、彼らの支援を行っておりますの。

MAISENTA: Still, when I see you here together with the Homunculi, I’m reminded of that time we nearly dissolved our contract. Strange to think about it now, isn’t it? It feels like a long time ago and only a little while ago at the same time. MAISENTA: The boys are just as beloved as ever, of course. Black Rabbit Traders is well on its way to funding that musical tour of Eorzea they’ve always dreamed of!

LOCALIZATION Maisenta: As I am sure you know, the Homunculi cause a stir wherever they go, and I need them focused on the task at hand. It's strange to think that without your intervention all those moons ago, they would have escaped my clu─ahem─would have been lost to me forever, and here we all are, reunited. Maisenta: You will no doubt be pleased to hear that since the last time you saw them, my honey-tongued musical geniuses have been touring the breadth of the realm. Naturally, Black Rabbit Traders continue to enjoy a profitable relationship with Eorzea's most beloved traveling bards.

マイセンタ : さて、本題に入りましょう。 星芒祭の実行委員が、歌い手を募集していると聞いて、 私はすぐに、話をつけにいきましたわ。 マイセンタ : もちろん、ホムンクルスを売り込むためです。 こんなによい商機を、 みすみす逃すわけにはいきませんわ。 マイセンタ : 星芒祭の音楽会でホムンクルスが演奏すれば、 市民たちの間で、彼らに対する好感度が高まるでしょう？ そのうえ黒兎堂も、商売に一枚かませてもらえる。 マイセンタ : 星芒祭の実行委員も、 ホムンクルスの知名度で集客が見込めるのです。 誰にとっても、よい結果になる商談ですわ。 マイセンタ : 音楽堂の手配もして、 何の問題もなくことは進んでいると、 思っていたのですけれど……。 オスカルレ : 歌う曲が、ね……。 ちょっと問題があって……。 普通だったら、僕たちが作曲もやるんだけど……。

MAISENTA: Now, why don’t we talk shop? I heard that the Starlight Celebration was in need of musical entertainment, so naturally, I volunteered my wonderful Homunculi for the task. MAISENTA: I mean, as a businesswoman, I’d be a fool to let this opportunity slip me by! MAISENTA: By performing at the Starlight Celebration, the Homunculi will acquire new admirers, and Black Rabbit Traders will make plenty of gil selling the luxurious garments that the boys wear onstage. MAISENTA: And what’s more, the Homunculi’s existing fans will flock to the Starlight Celebration — which means a bigger turnout for the celebrants, and good business for virtually everyone involved. A flawless plan, no? MAISENTA: Well, the concert hall has been appropriately decorated, and it looks as though everything will go off without a hitch... but alas, we have one last crucial problem on our hands. OSCARLET: It’s the music, see... Normally, we compose our own songs, but that won’t work this time around.

LOCALIZATION Maisenta: Of course, it won't do to have this conversation interrupted by legions of squealing followers, hence our current venue. As for their role in the Starlight Celebration, I jumped at the chance to have them take center stage. Maisenta: Admirers will flock from malms around for the chance to see the Homunculi and their new, specially prepared material. Maisenta: I can picture it now... The dulcet tones of my beautiful bards filling the ears of festival-goers young and old, with Black Rabbit Traders making gil hand over fist from all of the garments we sell. Maisenta: And what's more, the presence of such renowned artists will raise the profile of the celebration, meaning that Amh Garanjy and her Starlight celebrants will have even more reason to be cheerful. Maisenta: All that remains is for the Homunculi to fulfill their part of the bargain, and put together a few songs for the concert itself. Therein lies the problem. Oscarlet: Were this any other performance, we would mesmerize the crowds with a few favorites from our repertoire, such as “Fair Lady, Return My Breeches” or “Hey Nonny, Nonny, Maiden Most Bonny.” Fearing that such material may not be...appropriate, we thought it best to work on some new pieces.

オギュスティニエル : 星芒祭は、イシュガルドの実話をもとにした聖祭だろ？ オレたちは、グリダニアの音色しか知らないから、 作曲家に音楽の製作を依頼したのさ。 オギュスティニエル : そしたら、どこで行き違ったのか、 頼んだ内容と違う楽譜が届いちまったんだ……！ 男女混声で、4人で歌うなんて、これっぽっちもかすってねぇ！ オルセルフォ : 作り直してもらうにも、もはや間に合いません……。 いまの私たちは、 嘆きの森をさまよう、か弱き乙女のよう……。

AUGUSTINIEL: Our music is composed in the Gridanian tradition, but given that the Starlight Celebration is an Ishgardian holiday, and a holy festival at that, we thought it best to reserve our sylvan melodies for another performance on some other day. Thus, we sought the aid of an Ishgardian composer who would have better knowledge of what the celebrants envision. AUGUSTINIEL: So imagine our surprise when we received the manuscripts only to find that they were not as we requested! This score is written for a mixed choir — four singers, two male and two female. How could they have possibly misconstrued something so important? ORSELFAUX: And there certainly isn’t enough time to have it rewritten. We are helpless as fragile maidens, wandering lost in the Shroud... 

LOCALIZATION Augustiniel: But this occasion calls for traditional Ishgardian music, whereas we weave our entrancing melodies in the classic Gridanian style. To better fulfill the needs of the Starlight Celebration, we sought the aid of an Ishgardian composer. Augustiniel: Upon taking receipt of the manuscripts, however, we found that they were written for a mixed choir. Four singers, two male and two female. It does not take a musical aficionado to appreciate that the Homunculi are ill-equipped for such a performance. Orselfaux: To make matters worse, there simply isn't time to have the pieces rewritten. We are well and truly out of our element, like proverbial babes in the wood. Whatever will we do?

マイセンタ : もうっ！　ウジウジしている場合ではありませんわ！ こうなってしまった以上、いまある選択肢で、 できることを考えなくては！ マイセンタ : まずは、歌い手の問題ですわね。 男女混声では、3人を歌わせることができませんもの。 あらたな歌い手を探さないと……。 マイセンタ : 作曲家から受け取った楽譜には、 歌い手の声質の指示も記載されていましたわ。 けれど、どれもこれも、抽象的なものばかり……。 マイセンタ : 「小鳥のさえずりのような軽やかな女声」に、 「水のように柔らかな女声」と「木々のような伸びやかな男声」。 そして「大地のとどろきのような男声」……。 マイセンタ : 急には、思いつきませんわね…………。

MAISENTA: Oh, come on, now! Do you all plan to just stand there and mope until the celebration starts? With things the way they are, we need to evaluate our options and decide on what we can do about it! MAISENTA: Let’s focus on the issue of our vocalists. With a mixed choir of two men and two women, we have three roles that need to be filled. I’m sure one of you can take at least one of the male roles. MAISENTA: Fortunately, the composer saw fit to provide instructions on the kinds of voices this score requires. But these descriptions are certainly... abstract. MAISENTA: First, we need a female voice “light and airy as the chirping of a bird,” whereas the other female voice must be “velvety as water.” One male voice needs to be “reminiscent of the outstretched branches of a tree,” but the second male voice must “rumble with the strength of the earth.”

LOCALIZATION Maisenta: All of this moping is getting us nowhere! Are you professionals or not? Maisenta: What we need are solutions, and fast. First of all, let us select our vocalists. Maisenta: Luckily, the composer has provided instructions on the kind of voices required to carry the melody. Though I must admit, I can make neither head nor tail of these notes. Maisenta: One of the female voices must be “as uplifting as birdsong on a crisp winter's morning,” and the other “ephemeral as a zephyr across a sun-dappled stream.” For the males, “reminiscent of a mighty oak's outstretched boughs” and “deep and cavernous as the bowels of the earth.” Maisenta: We have to start our search somewhere I suppose.

マイセンタ : [PLAYER]さんは、 どなたか思い当たりませんこと？ マイセンタ : あなたの想像でいいので、 向いていそうな方の、名前を挙げてくださらない？ たとえば「小鳥のさえずりのような軽やかな女声」とか……。

MAISENTA: [PLAYER], what do you think? MAISENTA: Can you think of anyone with a voice as “light and airy as the chirping of a bird?”

LOCALIZATION Maisenta: Francel, perhaps you can help. Maisenta: Can you think of anyone who possesses a voice “as uplifting as birdsong on a crisp winter's morning?”

→ If you choose Amh Garanjy...

マイセンタ : たしかにあの方は、 可愛らしい印象どおりの声をしていましたわね！ マイセンタ : 星芒祭のためとあれば、断らないだろうし…… 彼女以上の適任はいないでしょう。 あなた、よく思いつきましたわね。

MAISENTA: She does have an rather cute voice, doesn’t she? MAISENTA: And as a Starlight celebrant, she isn’t likely to refuse us should we ask for her aid. I daresay there’s no one better-suited to the role. My, you’ve chosen well.

LOCALIZATION Maisenta: Why hadn't I thought of that? If the cheerful manner in which she speaks is any indication, her singing voice may be exactly what we are looking for. Maisenta: Being a Starlight celebrant, she can hardly refuse. I daresay you've found the perfect candidate.

→ If you choose a chocobo...

マイセンタ : チョ、チョコボ……！？ あなた本気で言ってますの……？ 合唱をするんですのよ！ マイセンタ : そうだわ、あの星芒祭実行委員長の、 アムさんなんかいいんじゃないかしら！ わ、我ながらよく思いついたわ！

MAISENTA: A-A chocobo?! I’m sorry, are you suggesting that in earnest? You do realize we’re talking about a choir, here?! MAISENTA: Ugh, well, how about Amh? She’ll be perfectly suited to the task! I think she’s an excellent choice — even if I do say so myself...

LOCALIZATION Maisenta: A chocobo!? Where the manuscripts mention birdsong, I don't think it was supposed to be taken literally! We can't have one of those smelly beasts kweh-ing its way through the concert. Maisenta: If I were you, I would avoid making similar japes in future─ It really doesn't suit you, dear. For lack of any better suggestions, how about...Amh Garanjy? Come to think of it, she may well be the perfect choice. A charming young lady like her is sure to have a singing voice to match.

マイセンタ : 次は……そうね、「水のように柔らかな女声」はどうかしら。 こちらも、あなたの想像でいいので、 どなたか思いつくなら、教えてほしいですわ！

MAISENTA: Next, we need to find a female vocalist with a voice as “velvety as water.” Who comes to your mind when you hear that description?

LOCALIZATION Maisenta: With that settled, we should move on to our second female vocalist. Can you think of anyone with a voice as “ephemeral as a zephyr across a sun-dappled stream?”

→ If you choose Maisenta...

マイセンタ : わ、私ですって……？ そんな、私には経験もないし、無理よ！ マイセンタ : いや、でも…………。 ホムンクルスと黒兎堂のためなら……やりますわ。 この事業が失敗したら、黒兎堂の名折れですもの。

MAISENTA: M-Me...? But — but I haven’t any experience in singing! MAISENTA: Well... Oh, don’t look at me like that. If it’s for the Homunculi and Black Rabbit Traders, I can’t just excuse myself from the proceedings, can I? I mean, if this whole production flops, it’s my tailfeathers on the line...

LOCALIZATION Maisenta: Me!? You must be joking! Maisenta: You're serious, aren't you? Hmm...I am somewhat partial to humming the odd tune while enjoying a long soak in the bath. I should be able to get through it without making too big a fool of myself. And it's for a good cause.

→ If you choose Kan-e-Senna...

マイセンタ : カヌ・エ様……！？ あなた、とんでもないことをおっしゃるのね……。 この国を導く方に、そんなことさせられるわけないでしょう。 マイセンタ : あの方以外に思いつかないのなら…… 私がやるしかないでしょうね。 ホムンクルスと黒兎堂のためですもの。

MAISENTA: Kan-e-Senna?! You... You really do say the most outrageous things, don’t you? I should think this hardly needs to be said, but her time would be better spent on the betterment of the nation. MAISENTA: Oh, very well. If you truly can’t think of anyone else, I’ll just have to do it myself. I’ll just tell myself it’s for the sake of the Homunculi and Black Rabbit Traders...

LOCALIZATION Maisenta: The Elder Seedseer herself!? Have you taken leave of your senses? Generous and benevolent she may be, but I struggle to imagine her joining our little choir group! Maisenta: There's only one thing for it: I will just have to do it myself. My devotion to the Homunculi and Black Rabbit Traders compels me! There is also the fact that I have already invested too much in this venture to allow it to fail now.

オギュスティニエル : そいつはいい考えだぜ！ オレたちも、マイセンタさんっていい声してるって、 前から思ってたんだ！ マイセンタ : ま、まったく、口がうまいんですから！ そんなに褒めても、特別賞与は出しませんわよ！ オスカルレ : あとは、男声ができる2人だね！ 僕たちのうちの、誰かができるといいんだけど。 オルセルフォ : 「木々のような伸びやかな男声」は、 私たちの中でもっとも声のとおる、 オギュスティニエルが最適ではないでしょうか……。 マイセンタ : それはもちろん、オギュがいいでしょうけれど……。 残りの「大地のとどろきのような男声」が問題ですわ。 あなたたちのような繊細な声では、合わないですから……。 マイセンタ : ……この件はひとまず保留にいたしましょう。 あとで私が適任な者を探しておきますわ。

AUGUSTINIEL: What a magnificent suggestion! Maisenta, dearest, haven’t we always told you that you have a lovely voice? MAISENTA: Don’t you sweet-talk me! You can praise me all you like, but you’re not going to get any year-end bonuses out of it! OSCARLET: So, what about the male vocalists, then? I hope one of us can do it! ORSELFAUX: “Reminiscent of the outstretched branches of a tree.” Of the three of us, I would say Augustiniel would be best-suited to that role. MAISENTA: Well, yes, Aug can certainly take that part. But the second male vocalist must have a voice that can “rumble with the strength of the earth.” You and Oscarlet have more... silken vocals. MAISENTA: ...Well, let’s just put that off for now. We'll simply have to find someone for it later.

LOCALIZATION Augustiniel: Maisenta, my darling! It would be an honor to join my voice with yours in musical matrimony! Maisenta: Let's not get carried away! For all you know, I could be a dreadful singer! Oscarlet: Fear not, my lady, for we shall be on hand to provide all the tutelage you might require. Though the question remains─which two lucky fellows will be accompanying you? Orselfaux: “Reminiscent of a mighty oak's outstretched boughs.” I would say that description fits Augustiniel's soaring vocals. Maisenta: I couldn't agree more. Finding someone whose voice is “deep and cavernous as the bowels of the earth” may prove a little more challenging. The Homunculi's music rarely ventures into the lower notes. Maisenta: At the risk of volunteering myself for that role too, mayhaps we should put that matter to one side for now.

マイセンタ : [PLAYER]さんには申し訳ないけれど、 ごらんのとおり、仕事がとても立て込んでおりますの。 私たちを助けると思って、お手伝いいただけないかしら。 マイセンタ : 感謝いたしますわ！ では、あなたには「聖歌隊のタクト」と「聖歌隊の衣装」の、 調達をお願いいたします。 マイセンタ : それぞれ、「木工師ギルド」の「ベアティヌ」さんと、 ウルダハの「裁縫師ギルド」にいる、 「レドレント・ローズ」さんに発注してありますの。 マイセンタ : あなたは、それらを引き取ってくださるだけでかまいませんわ！ その後は「ミィ・ケット野外音楽堂」の、 「アム・ガランジ」さんに渡してくださいませね。 マイセンタ : 私たちも、歌い手の手配をしたらまいりますわ！ どうかよろしくお願いいたしますね。

MAISENTA: I hate to trouble you, [PLAYER], but as you can see, I’ll have my hands full with all of... this. Could you lend us a hand with a different task? MAISENTA: It’s much appreciated. I’d like you to pick up the conductor’s baton and the choir surplices we’ll need for the performance. MAISENTA: Beatin of the Carpenter’s Guild will have the first item, and Redolent Rose of the Weaver’s Guild will have the rest.  MAISENTA: Afterwards, please take everything to Amh Garanjy in Mih Khetto’s Amphitheatre. She’ll know what to do. MAISENTA: In the meantime, we’ll have to rehearse for our performance. I can’t thank you enough!

LOCALIZATION Maisenta: Francel, might I be able to ask a favor of you? Two favors, actually. Maisenta: Keen as always! And I haven't even told you what the favors are yet! Maisenta: I need you to collect a conductor's baton from Beatin of the Carpenter's Guild, as well as an order of choir surplices from Redolent Rose over at the Weavers' Guild in Ul'dah. Maisenta: After paying a visit to these master artisans, head straight to Amh Garanjy in Mih Khetto's Amphitheatre. She will be expecting you. Maisenta: In the meantime, it seems prudent for us to rehearse away from prying...ears. Now, make haste, Francel!

→ If you are not a member of the Carpenter’s Guild...

ベアティヌ : 私に……なにか用ですか……？

BEATIN: ...What business do you have with me...?

LOCALIZATION Beatin: How might I help you?

→ If you are a member of the Carpenter’s Guild...

ベアティヌ : [PLAYER]さん…… どうしました……？ 先生に質問でもあるのですか……？

BEATIN: [PLAYER]... What seems to be the matter? Have you some question for your Master Beatin...?

LOCALIZATION Beatin: So, [PLAYER], are you any closer to becoming one with the wood?

ベアティヌ : ああ……マイセンタさんから頼まれた、タクトですね……。 もちろんできあがってますよ……。 ベアティヌ : 本体は、なめらかなメープル材を使って…… 持ち手はコルクで、手になじみやすいように作っています……。 美しい逸品に仕上がりましたよ……フフ、フフフ……。 ベアティヌ : マイセンタさんは、金に糸目はつけないから、 いい品をつくってほしいと注文してきました。 ホムンクルスのことになると、ずいぶん熱心なようだ……。 ベアティヌ : 私も気持ちはわかりますよ……。 好きなものについては、こだわりが強くなるのも、 当然のことです……フフフ……。

BEATIN: Ah, yes, of course... The conductor’s baton that Miss Maisenta requested. BEATIN: See here, the body of the baton is wrought from maple, whereas the handle is made of cork, allowing for a certain comfort of grip... A most beautiful piece, is it not...? Haha... hahaha.... BEATIN: Miss Maisenta asked for only the finest quality of craftsmanship, heedless of the expense involved. When it comes to her Homunculi, she becomes possessed of an ardent zeal unlike aught else... BEATIN: Ah, but I understand her passions... Men and women alike know no barriers when it comes to the obsessions of the heart. Is that not true of all things...? Hahaha...

LOCALIZATION Beatin: Ah, yes. I have the conductor's baton right here. Beatin: Since the guild seldom receives orders for such items, I thought it best to deal with this one personally. The maple gives it a certain degree of flexibility while the cork grip allows it to be held between thumb and index finger without fear of dropping it. Beatin: I am confident that Maisenta will appreciate the quality of the craftsmanship. While my services do not come cheap, she is sure to feel that her money was well spent. Beatin: And spend she did. In all honesty, a simple twig would probably suffice, but nothing is too good for her Homunculi. I must admit, I do not see the appeal in those preening pretty boys. The sigh of a saw on wood and the tap of a hammer on chisel are all the music I need.

→ If you are not a member of the Weaver’s Guild...

レドレント・ローズ : あら、私になにかご用？

REDOLENT ROSE: Yes? What do you want with little old me?

LOCALIZATION Redolent Rose: Oh, what's this? A customer? Or perhaps some lackey sent on an errand?

→ If you are a member of the Weaver’s Guild...

レドレント・ローズ : あら、[PLAYER]ちゃんじゃないの！ 今日はどうしたのかしら？

REDOLENT ROSE: Oh, goodness, if it isn’t [PLAYER]! Darling! What brought you here today?

LOCALIZATION Redolent Rose: Well, well. If it isn't [PLAYER]. I trust you have not been neglecting your needlework.

レドレント・ローズ : ああ、マイセンタちゃんから頼まれた、 聖歌隊にふさわしい衣装ね！ これから売り出そうと思ってた、可愛いのがあるのよぅ！ レドレント・ローズ : ほら、これよこれ、持っていきなさい！ ちょっと数が多いけど、 黒兎堂に卸す分まで、ついでに持ってってちょうだいな！ レドレント・ローズ : それにしても、やり手のマイセンタちゃんでも、 あなたみたいな冒険者に仕事を頼むほど、 追い込まれることもあるのねぇ。 レドレント・ローズ : ふふっ、あんなにお固そうな子でも、 好きな男のためには頑張っちゃうってことかしら。 可愛いところあるじゃなーい！

REDOLENT ROSE: Oh, yes, the choir surplices that sweet Maisenta requested? Are they not the most adorable things you’ve ever seen? Darling, these are going to sell like chilled juice down at Vesper’s Bay. REDOLENT ROSE: There’s more of them here, too, if you don’t mind taking them off my hands. It’s a lot, I know, but the Weaver’s Guild is selling them to Black Rabbit Traders in bulk. I’m sure they’re planning to turn quite the profit at the Starlight Celebration. REDOLENT ROSE: But my, my, that Maisenta is a smooth little hustler, isn’t she? I never thought she’d have an adventurer like you running her errands! That girl can talk anyone into anything. REDOLENT ROSE: Oh, I don’t mean that in a bad way. She might know how to drive a hard bargain, but she’s soft when it comes to those boys she loves. Isn’t it absolutely darling to watch her doing her best? Tee hee!

LOCALIZATION Redolent Rose: The choir surplices? Not the most challenging request the guild has received, but a welcome change from all the plebeians asking us to add arse flaps to their culottes. Redolent Rose: Another pleasant surprise was the amount Maisenta was willing to pay for them. So generous was she that I thought it only fair to include a few more. Knowing her, she will find a way to pitch them to festival-goers, so any surplus surplices could be sold on for a profit. Redolent Rose: This could even mark the beginning of a very lucrative venture for Black Rabbit Traders and the Weavers' Guild. Redolent Rose: Our mutual acquaintance is undoubtedly counting the gil as we speak, so I suggest you deliver these garments to her posthaste. Best of luck with the Starlight Celebration!

TRANSLATOR’S NOTES Cute details for those of you who understand Japanese on, like, a weeaboo level (no shade, I’m also a weeb):

Maisenta refers to her Homunculi, generally, as “kono kotachi,” or “those children.” It’s more or less commonly understood that you refer to things that you are fond of — like pets, and cute animals, and people you think are endearingly childish — as “ko” in this way. To approximate this, I had Maisenta refer the Homunculi as “boys” (or, of course, her “boy band”) — you know, like they’re hot, but they’re naive, and she needs to keep them safe and watch out for them.

At one point, Maisenta mentions that the Homunculi are popular with the 婦女子 (fujoshi), or women, of Gridania. Note that this is not the term 腐女子 (also fujoshi), or rotten women, commonly used to denote fans of the boy’s love genre — 婦女子 is a term for women that is very slightly outdated, sort of like womenfolk. However, the two words are homonyms, and intentionally so, since the BL term is a pun on the older word. I’m honestly not here to suggest that BL fans exist in Eorzea, but I definitely laughed.

Maisenta really does call Augustiniel “Ogu,” or “Aug,” which is a bit of a rarity as I don’t normally see character names abbreviated in this way.

Beatin refers to himself as “sensei,” with the effect that he’s one of those mildly creepy teachers who kind of gives you the heebie-jeebies, but he’s well-meaning at heart and really just wants to help you learn. Maybe.

Redolent Rose really is that maidenish and cutesy in Japanese, and refers to basically everyone as “-chan,” so in an effort to approximate this I gave him a speech quirk of saying that everything is darling. Honestly, he really is pretty cute.

[merlwyb-seabitch]

"Letter for--" the postmoogle squints-- "Maple Blunderbuss, kupo!" Inside a simple envelope is a letter which reads: DEAR MERL, I KNOW YOU ARE BUSY BUT PLEASE CAN YOU ASK PAPA RAUBAHN TO COME BACK TO UL'DAH. I MISS HIM AND ME AND HIM AND PIPIN NEED TO BE A FAMILY. I KNOW HE NEEDS TO BE IN ALA MHIGO TOO BUT HE SHOULD BE PART OF THE FLAMES TOO. IF HE WANTS HE CAN STAY AT MY HOUSE. I ASKED NANA AND KAN-E BUT I THINK YOU SHOULD HELP TOO. LOVE SCOOT!"

Merlwyb shook her head and leaned back in her chair. “Sheesh, you’re tellin’ me, kid… ain’t make no more sense t'me than it do to ye." 

She took from her desk a quill pen, a copious pile of parchment, and an extra bottle of ink, and thusly began drafting four letters. “Dear Scoot, Thank you for the letter. I must say that the matter of General Raubahn’s decision to leave his position as leader of the Immortal Flames relocate to Ala Mhigo has been of great concern to myself as well. I can assure you that from now on I will redouble my efforts to gain answers and change his decision to something more favorable. Try not to worry your cute little head too much, and in the meantime, help out your big brother Pipin. When you’re not off adventuring and tanking, come by Limsa and visit soon, and we’ll go have cake and sandwiches at the Bismarck.” “Dear Raubahn, What in the hells is wrong with ye. This is some ol’ motherfookin’ bullshite. Ye got no right to go an’ up-end the whole fookin’ Eorzean Alliance without even consultin’ me an’ Kan-E. I thought we were a fookin’ team. More than five godsdamned years we’ve been workin’ on this together, and the Navigator as my witness, I ain’t lettin’ ye off so fookin’ easy. I ain’t know jack shit about this Pipin boy, and while I’m sure he’s a perfectly decent lad, he ain’t qualified to sit in yer chair. He ain’t been through the shite we’ve been through. The hells you gotta do in Ala Mhigo that’s so godsdamned important anyway. Now get your ass back to Ul’dah before I sail over there and pistol whip ye meself.” “Dear Nanamo, What in the hells is wrong with ye. Yer the reason Raubahn thinks he should just up and leave his job and fuck off to Ala Mhigo, an’ I know it. I dunno what in the hells ye said to ‘im on that trip, but one thing’s fer sure: ye pushed 'im away on purpose. And 'ere I thought things were gettin’ better with ye two. Look, I ain’t knockin’ the virtues of being a strong independent woman, but tryin’ to convince the people ye care about that ye neither need nor want ‘em around ain’t strength, it’s insecurity. Not t'mention yer developin’ a bad habit o’ makin’ unilateral decisions without consultin’ anybody on them first. On top o’ that, Scoot is worried about ye, and th'more 'e’s worried about ye, the more letters 'e’s gonna write to me. The sooner ye get this mess fixed, the sooner we can stop bein’ inundated by the postmoogles.” “Dear Kan-E, “What in the hells is wrong with these friends o’ ours. This is some ol’ motherfookin’ bullshite. Listen, ye gotta help me convince Raubahn t'get back to Ul’dah and get back on the fookin’ Alliance. Maybe ye can talk to Nanamo about all them childhood issues what with losin’ ‘er parents and gettin’ all traumatized by loneliness and shite. Sheesh, I can’t believe I’m reminiscin’ about the ol’ days when it was just th'three of us. Ye, me, and Raubahn, formin’ Grand Companies, kickin’ Gaius van Baelsar’s arse to the seventh hell, gettin’ shite-faced at Alliance meetings… or was that just me? I was always too shite-faced to tell. Also, ye’ll be gettin’ a letter soon from a little Lala ‘venturer called Scoot Patoot. Though ‘is handwriting’ll be nearly indecipherable chocobo scratch, I recommend readin’ and replyin’ in a timely manner. And also offerin’ 'im cake.”

[ffxiv-ariavitali]

Gave my go at writing a HC for this piece of work. Thank you @inviouswriting​ for tagging me, I feel so honored ;-; I hope this is to your liking, anon!

-

Doesn’t look at adventuring the same as you. He just wants to fight. He yearns to meet his match on the battlefield, longing for the thrill and excitement when death comes knocking on his door. However, unlike a certain someone, he cares about the outcome - he wants to win. That’s why he finds no shame in backing down when he has been overpowered. Show him mercy on the battlefield and he’ll definitely come crawling back to you at your feet.

Definitely the best person to go to if you need a solution involving violence. Has connections up the wazoo that won’t see the light of day; need only say the word and he can lend a hand. For a price, of course.

The best and the worst drinking buddy. Can hold his alcohol the entire night and match your speed to boot, but the moment that a bar fight starts, he won’t be helping. He would much prefer to watch with his drink in the best seat of house, thank you very much. The moment he finds someone mildly entertaining will be the the moment he steps in to help. In other words, good luck!

Initially unsure of how to go about this whole romance thing, but picks up quickly. He won’t be holding open doors or pulling out your seat any time soon, but will hold your hand as you walk or offer his jacket when you’re cold. Doesn’t care about others’ opinion, if they’re not afraid to be looking anyway.

If you agree to relations with him, you are his. While he does come off as pretentious, it is backed up with all the strength and possessive. In other words, if someone were to speak to you the wrong way, touch you the wrong way or even look at you the wrong way, he will brandish his sword. Can and will fight dirty. There’s a certain standard that must be met when it comes to fighting someone of your level and these plebians don’t stand a chance! (Instead, spar with him. You’ll have a more amusing time, he argues.)

Your first date is anywhere of your choice. He has the coin for it considering all the ‘dirty’ jobs he takes that it really doesn’t matter. How about The Bismarck back in Limsa Lominsa? Just promise that you’ll ‘spar’ with him again, yes?

Clever and cunning. Give him an opening and he’ll slide right in. Favorite flower? It’ll be on your doorstep. Favorite snack? A postmoogle has it delivered. (How does he know where you are in your adventuring anyway.) Fairly compensate him with kisses and he won’t ever want to stop doing business with you.

Is used to being attended to and having things provided to him on a whim, so getting him to help you with household chores will be a struggle. Luckily for you, he isn’t one to cause a huge mess unless someone charges at him (oh, Loonh Gah...), so you won’t have to worry about trash scattering the floor.

Honest to a fault. You won’t have to worry about him lying to you, but perhaps you might have to find a work-around the way he may keep certain things to himself. Not because he means to, but because he finds certain info irrelevant and not important - or entertaining - enough to share.

Will comfort you with such a velvety voice and smooth tongue when you’re upset. He won’t purposely try to upset you into picking a fight with him if it means that you’ll end up crying, but he does love to tease you every now and then. Loves it when you toss a witty remark back at him. If you need a hug, he’ll give it to you and stay.

hi, could I check if you have done the whole questlines of FFXIV Beast Tribes up to the current at least before 5.3 new tribes? I'd like you to write general both platonic and romantic HCs of Nhaza'a Jaab/WOL. If you haven't, I could say he's basically the proto version of Zenos before SB comes in... Otherwise you can keep this ask on hold until you complete the beast tribe as he only appears in allied quest :)

I am so sorry, but I think this would take way too long for me to get to even if I were to start the Beast tribes to follow his story now. The only tribes I have done where I’ve followed the storyline extensively has been the Amaalja, and Pixie. I am also a little uncomfortable stepping out of my preferred characters I do have a list for. I had someone a while back make a request for something out of my normal comfort zone and kind of ruin it for others.

I’d like to point you into the direction of perhaps some writers who might be able to complete this better than me.

@owlespresso , @ladyramora @ffxivimagines @ffxiv-ariavitali @finalfantasyxivwritings @windupsanson 

I apologize for turning this one down. But with my work schedule it would take me literally months (probably till like December) before I can even get through that questline. Even with skimming his bio page, I would not be able to do this guy justice, just going on “like Zenos.” It takes time to learn a character, and more time to get them right. I hope this doesn’t come off wrong. But I hope you can get someone who can fulfill that request!