#the post is asking in a rhetorical way but also if u Do have an answer feel free to give it lmao BUT ANYWAY

[villainsidestep]

anyway now that we’re awake again. thoughts on fawn’s Definitely Not unrealistic idea of how family relates to forgiveness

[plaidos]

Would u be open to a dm asking for advice on a complicated irl instance of transmisogyny? Long story short, I’m trying to navigate a strain on two friendships - one friend is friends with an afab nb who posted a harshly worded callout about a local white trans fem after she seems to have caused harm to them and other non-white (afab?) queers n women, the other friends are trans fem and casual friends with the girl who was called out. My trans fem friends see this situation as being built on overstated harm and the response as employing transmisogynist rhetoric, my other friend assures me there is a legitimate pattern of harm and believes the response to be justified because of that. I’m white and tme, and having a hard time wrapping my head around the pain caused in either direction - I don’t want to downplay harm / coercion especially when there seems to be a racial pattern at play, and I don’t want to dismiss transmisogyny or act like the power dynamic btwn tme / trans fem doesn’t also underly all this. I’m scared of losing friends but I know it’s a possibility - if I do, I want to do so because I came to a conclusion I can honestly stand by. Damn sorry that’s so long winded, it’s been eating at me - touchy subject so no need to respond but didn’t wanna dump something even lengthier in ur dm’s under some assumption u would be ok with it

i’m inclined to agree with your transfem friends — accusations of racism should be taken seriously, and the accusations might even be true, but a callout post is not “an accusation of racism” — it’s a callout post; it’s a public exile of trans women from online spaces with an acceptable excuse. it would not be acceptable to run another demographic off of this website & demand her friends cut her off due to subjective hearsay being treated as gospel whenever a trans woman can suffer. Transfeminists have talked at great length at how callout posts are a form of acceptable social violence towards trans women. Hell, from the way you’re describing her friends’ reactions it doesn’t even sound like they think this girl didn’t do anything wrong — an “overstatement of harm” absolutely fits the M.O. of TME folks unpersoning a trans woman.

My opinion of this is whatever this trans girl did, a callout post is a totally unacceptable way to platform those grievances, and it seems like it is intentionally being leveraged specifically to cut this girl off from her friends and community. I’d side against the person comfortable being judge jury and executioner of any trans woman who sleights them — even if this girl is the scummiest racist, this TME person is not the moral arbiter of who can share community with her

anyway, i guarantee you that there is another pattern at play with this TME person who thinks callout posts are an acceptable way to unperson one. I would be willing to bet money that they have made other similar callout posts about specifically other trans women. I mean, it practically always is, right? 😭

[acid-ixx]

If you don’t mind me asking, what does your planning process look like for your chapters and what do you write first?? I’m trying to write my own Ybatfam fic rn but I just don’t know what to add to my chapters and really just how to start them.

I love your work, your really the one who inspired me to try writing my own🩵🩵🩵

hii anon !! i'm glad u asked this, though i am no way an expert in writing, i've been doing so for years now and i've learned quite a lot from it. thanks for asking this and i hope this is comprehensive enough 😭

so when it comes to planning for a chapter, or just a one-shot, i always write out what i want to establish within it. ask yourself; what does the chapter center around? would it be the relationships with characters, or the emotions you want to portray, is it angsty or just hurt/comfort? in planning, i write the general gist of what will happen through the entire thing (read: planned fanfics) before i move on to outlining.

and here, outlining helps like a god. i like to separate a chapter into multiple parts, and combine them altogether in the end. so when it comes to outlines, i just write out what i want to write and not the actual dialogue or actions in it (example: in this scene, jason tries to talk it out with you, you fight back and force him to let you out. in the next part, you're of the apartment and near to breaking down, you don't notice two sets of eyes watching over you).

sometimes, if i'm ever stuck i just write in the middle or the end because it helps me establish a flow and the build up.

also, setting the settings, changing the atmospheres, adding parallelism, and using figures of speech (simile, metaphors, personifications, etc. (e.g. conner knows you're perfect, with just how the flowers at the manor sings for your presence or how the beams of sunlight always directs itself at you)) are really helpful for when my writing feels dry or doesn't feel as compelling. it's not always required but it helps adding flowery (but not-so much) words or relating characters into objects with symbolisms to give readers an even deeper insight of who the characters is and why they are like that.

writing for the actual chapter, even starting it is always going to be the hard part. it's like starting an essay, but i suggest treating it like an essay— what do you want to focus on? always remember that the start of a chapter helps set up the mood and pacing of the story, so whether it'd be action packed or something lighthearted, reflect it upon the flow of your words too.

start with an interesting hook, whether it'd be rhetorical questions or digging deep into a character's personality and diving into specifics about it, have key points and expound upon it; and always take note of the atmosphere of how your entire story should be, show it through actions, reactions, gestures and dialogues.

otherwise, i've not much to say but take your time and don't pressure yourself with trying to achieve perfection. i'm pretty much someone who likes to write out my ideas before the actual planning so most of the time i wing most of what i want to write (loving family, unpalatable desire is a product of it) and hope to god that whatever outcome will be decent.

and thank you so much anon for finding me as an inspiration 🥹 it's unbelievable, the amount of support i mean— and if you ever do wish to post your own fic and feel doubtful of it still, you can always also chat me through my chatbox here in tumblr since it's pretty much open for anyone.

[prettyboykatsuki]

how surprising ur response doesn’t address the issue at all!!!! i would love for u to go off on me because it’s easy for me to win a disagreement when i know i’m right lmao and also i KNOW 100% for a fact that countless people would agree w me but it’s not reaching the correct audience w a sane mindset cuz all ur followers are 🌽 addicts too thinking the same shit as u and pitying and comforting ur ass in ur replies🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️shits cringe to watch but anyway every normal person knows it’s weird and that’s all the matters i suppose cuz post that shit literally anywhere else and your ass WILL get dragged

maybe let’s try a one month no 🌽 challenge and try again! maybe ur mind will detox and you’ll realize ur fucking weird

i didn't respond to your ask with any dignity because the original premise of your ask was not worthy of being dignified with time nor attention.

ive gotten tens of asks of people who also want to hold moral superiority over me by regurgitating opinions they've adopted from their online internet circles without any real nuance and thus i have no reason to take it seriously. you are not the first person to try to peddle this to me and there is nothing about your ask that warrants any of my thoughtful consideration.

i normally wouldn't bother with correcting this one either, but because im already in a deeply irritable mood - sure, i will give you the response you are asking for, starting with the post you are criticizing.

firstly, you're incorrectly reading my post. you intentionally misrepresent my post with your wording and also the sort of joke i was making by implying "memed about waiting for the age of consent" so i can indulge my porn addiction."

im going to disregard your application of harmful real world rhetoric to what is essentially fiction and go along with the idea that fictional characters are in anyway effected by my posting.

the main issue is fundamentally that you are misreading it. i know you are because i am the original poster and the author of this post - which means i can directly tell you that the point of this post is ironic.

it is poking fun at the people who have accused me of pedophilia for aging up a fictional character for years because he is now, in canon, an adult.

the irony of that is that i was doing what horikoshi was when writing my fics. the people who treated my aging up as invalid simply because horikoshi is the author are no longer able to wield it against me. the author has no confirmed his adulthood, which makes that argument moot.

your argument is that i was in some way making a joking about having waited for izuku to reach adulthood in order to sexualize him. this is blantantly incorrect and a misreading of the post in general. that is not something you can counter because if you've spent any time on my blog at all - it would be very clear i was already aging up and sexualizing characters on my own whims.

both posts for better viewing.

the other thing you spout off about is porn addiction. this is the main reason i didn't find any reason to take your points seriously. if you knew, researched, or understood any of the points you've borrowed from your peers on tiktok - you would know why porn addiction is not a term you can apply to erotica.

in the first place, there is no universally understood diagnostic criteria for porn addiction. there are other forms of research related to how porn interferes with cis-heterosexual partnerships and the quality of sex life and some affiliation with watching porn as a compulsive behavior - but neither of these things qualify as addiction.

pornography is a highly politicized topic because our society is structured upon old school protestant christian beliefs and puritanism. but pornography and sexually explicit materal is a difficult thing to quantify in usage. it is culturally ubiquitous and has several nuances in relation to its use. it is near impossibly to quantify sexual behavior because it is a normal, human urge like hunger or thirst whether or not you choose to believe that.

here are three articles making points about the claims around porn addiction from reliable sources that you're welcome to point out.

one | two | three

as i keep repeating - addiction is a specific line of behavior and being frank, it's rather insulting you think i suffer from a porn addiction given i used to do actual drugs and suffered from real life addictions lmao.

but if you want to use other addiction diagnostic critera in this argument. my posting on silly erotica tumblr does not

interfere with my daily life or relationships

negatively affect my performance in school or at work

cause me to withdraw from social situations

lose interest in my other hobbies and activies that improve quality of life.

none of the above applies to me. but im guessing you don't have any actual concern.

it's very clear to me and everyone else that your peddling of this term has nothing to do with whether or not i actually have the addiction - and everything to do with you attempting to moralize my behavior to an audience and boost up your own points.

if i really did have a porn addiction, implying i had an addiction - you are implying that this is something i should be ashamed of just as you are implying my fellow porn addicts should also be ashamed.

you see addiction as a point of shame and not a disease and don't show any actual empathy which makes you a morally bankrupt human being in my subjective view. you don't have any actual arguments about how this might effect my behavior or character. only that addiction (a thing people can't control) is bad, that i am bad for watching porn and being addicted to it.

neither of these are provable as you do not know me.

instead your attempt to find fault is to arm yourself with puritan talking points and internet tiktok buzzword language and make your clauses have some kind of ground or validity. it is trite and frankly embarrassing watching you come into my inbox with such confidence that you would be able to argue with me critically and meaningfully.

the last thing i will address is your point about this not being a popular opinion.

you are under the impression im not aware of this and that this is not a choice i've made deliberately so i will be kindly blunt.

i, unlike you, have formed these opinions with my own critical understanding of culture, sociology, psychology, and politics by researching and reading from people who study these things with more expertise than me.

these opinions are formed by my own discretion and worldview. they are unpopular opinions.

unlike you, my peers are not decided by my moral parading. rather, im frank and upfront with those world views and have formed a circle that agrees with them.

i do not need your validation nor the validation of people online to confirm whether or not im a good person. the reason people agree with me is not pity, but because they too have formed their own opinions and ours happen to allign.

you think this is pitying behavior because the people you choose to align with would cast you out for showing even a breadth of disagreement or critique. you have not fostered a space for intelligent conversation because you can't see disagreement without accusing someone of this or that.

you are all the same and you are all equally confident in your hivemind opinions. i applaud your audacity and admire your confidence in your own ability to argue something you've barely formed your own conscious thought about.

i dont need to detox anything and i dont care about being weird. i also, really don't care about you or your opinions.

you are unoriginal and boring, a pest of the highest pedigree and i don't find you intimidating. your inability to receive validation from your own moral character will doom you to shame and guilt for as long as you allow and thats much more punishment than i could ever dole out to you

have a good day pookie 🫂🫂

[starryroe]

sorry if this is a stupid question, i'm asking in good faith, but do you consider the entire argument of "a lot of people right now are being misogynistic towards trans men bc trans men are an acceptable target for misogyny rn" to be transmisogynistic or only when its talking abt trans women? i realize the way i phrased that kinda sounds like a gotcha, i'm not intending that but i'm also not sure how to rephrase it to not sound that way. i'm asking genuinely bc i do feel like a lot of what i face from progressives is people gleefully realizing they can get away with being misogynistic to me bc im a man, but thats not exclusive to transfems, in fact its mostly cis women who do it. so i feel like thats worth talking about. but for that reason also i do know it would be transmisogynistic to blame it all on trans women since theyre not the main culprits, but im unsure if thats why u didnt like that post or not bc i always interpreted the term "trans radfems" to mean "any trans person who spouts radfem rhetoric, not just transfems" so that post calling out "these trans radfems" doesnt immediately strike me as specifically targeting transfems, which is why im unsure. i guess what im asking here is, is there some context im missing that makes that post specifically about transfems, or is there some problem with pointing out that a lot of people are misogynistic towards trans men bc they can get away with it? (sometimes including trans women but not at a rate higher than any of the other groups doing it)

the problem of the post is that it states that the misogyny that is thrown at trans men is simply redirected misogyny that would have been thrown at cis women if it was acceptable, and if someone is misogynistic they're gonna be misogynistic, it's not that the misogyny towards trans men is simply redirected cis woman misogyny. like that's the whole point of the term transandrophobia, it's a specific type of misogyny targeted towards certain things someone sees in another

plus my commentary didn't exclude that "trans radfems" (which is a term I am starting to hate but that's besides the point) could mean everyone, just that saying that the trans women, who are included in the term, would he doing that, is in fact terf rethoric 101

plus plus, using 4chan and then trans radfem together is like. listen I'm sure there's trans guys who fit the bill but that's such a dogwhistle

plus plus plus, it was reblogged and shared by a trans woman with an insane amount of internalized transmisogyny who has reblogged before and even made own posts saying that it's mainly trans women's fault for trans men's suffering

[celestie0]

First time asker but long time reader 😭 I’m sorry that you got that shitty ask. It’s such a weird fucking thing to ask someone “hey when are you making these two fuck?” like… does that not feel weird to type out?

The gojo x reader tag has at least 5 explicit smut fics minimum daily, go read through those if you genuinely need sex in everything you read (it’s time to reflect on the porn addiction you have).

Regardless, I’ve been reading your fics on Ao3 and I absolutely LOVE the banter between gojo and reader 😭 it flows so fucking well I can feel the chemistry radiating from my screen. When I first started reading IHM, I was also an ancient hag like reader (29) so I found myself able to really relate to her. Usually when I envision Y/N, it’s a random person in their place but with this fic specifically idk why I lowkey insert myself? Everything she does, I would probably do the same and it makes me nervous (in a good way) that I’m gonna get attached to gojo and y/n’s relationship 😭

I absolutely love how gojo provides the security Y/N so desperately needs in the span of the fic. She has been suffocating on her own for so long that he just provides some fresh air. Dare I say meant to be?

The domesticity is everything and I like how we’re learning more about him alongside Y/N. So far we’ve seen just how supportive gojo has been and I’m excited to see how y/n comes through for him because my spidey senses (and your amazing writing) shows me that he has some baggage and it might resurface soon.

The build up to them realizing they love each other is making me giggle and kick my feet. I will happily eat whatever you feed us, thank you for sharing your writing with us. You absolutely have a talent for writing and fleshing out characters/relationships.

I appreciate you and will do my best to support you vocally from here on out 🥹 have a great week pls!

hi my love!! first of all thank you SO much for this supportive message, i srs teared up when i read it 😭 idk if that’s embarrassing to admit lololdjfsdfh but yea omg yesterday was rough so i can’t tell u how much it means to me

i agree on the porn addict thing omg like i love smut as much as the next person, but likeee to go into an author inbox after they just posted a 14k chap of their fic n say “are we gonna get smut soon?” like 💀 that’s sortaaaaa. i’m getting porn addiction vibes

aaaaaaaa i’m so happy you’re enjoying the banter in ihm :’’) and that you’re able to see yourself in reader’s shoes!! that’s such a wonderful thing n one of the aims of my writing ♥️ ♥️ also pls 29 is not ancient hag oml i mean there will be lots of rhetoric in ihm where reader thinks she’s old but like ultimately i want the message of the series to be that it’s never too late to start over and find happiness & joy :) i think that really applies to everything and everyone. and ahhh yes there will be some pretty angst stuffs BUT there will be happy ending <33

yes ihm gojo def got some baggage 😂😂 i need my men like that LOL. but thank you so much for being excited to see how reader comes through for him as well!! i know she’s going through a lot on her own, and that can sometimes cause her to neglect the things outside of her…but i think she has capacity to really be there for him too

oh my dear i really am so lucky to have you as a long time reader and i’m so grateful to hear your thoughts, but also please send them whenever you want to and without pressure <33 i will eat it tf up if/when you do but yea xD never feel burdened to! you have a wonderful week as well omg imma eat u fr

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

not gonna lie there are inherent ties between hating bi lesbians, being a terf, and being generally transandrophobic (and usually claiming the latter doesn't even exist (side note idk if im spelling that shit right sorry)) but some of u are not ready for that conversation.

ive tried my best to give people resources, explain to people why mspec lesbians and 'lesbians who are men' are a thing. how gender and sexuality are diverse, often fluid, and cannot be confined into tight definitions. but oftentimes people dont want to listen.

i do drop into comment sections to try and explain these things occasionally, because i have changed some people's minds. usually the ones who are just confused or have only heard one side of the argument. it is tiring, though, and usually doesnt work anyway. most people who build their identity around hate do not *want* to learn.

this is where we tie in with terfs and transandrophobes. among other things tbh. if someone hates one group for not fitting into a box, they likely spread rhetoric from similar people who also dont like box-breakers. in the queer space, this can quickly turn to terf beliefs like gender essentialism.

(which is where we come to transandrophobia, because if trans men are men (which they usually *do* believe, because they arent terfs, just terf-adjacent) and men are inherently evil (because the men are invading our spaces! dont ask how we define men) then trans men cannot possibly suffer under transphobia and patriarchy in a unique way which they would like a word to describe)

the whole idea of woman = good and pure and men = bad and corrupt is such bullshit, and yet half the blogs i see hating on mspec lesbians parrot that same rhetoric that is so clearly radfem shit. idk. ive said in posts before that there is an obvious link between terfs and exclusionists, since they use the same rhetoric and arguments, but it is really becoming clearer and clearer to me now.

if you're an exclusionist you're sipping the terf koolaid. if you're fine with that, idk, maybe stop pretending you care about trans people.

[abysskeeper]

💖 (even though I already asked u this irl), 👻, ✨, 🥕, and 💥!!

💖 What is your primary writing goal for this year?

When we were talking about it in our living room, I think I said 100k posted to Ao3 for the year was my goal. I've since realized with the bang I'm doing ...I'll be close to there by the end of February probably. So I may up it to 200k.

Regardless, the point is I both want to commit to writing long(er) fics again (regrettably, I have a Veilguard idea, a post-canon BG3 AU, and maaaaybe a RWBY AU depending) and to clearing out some ideas that have been lingering for ages (looking at you, DGS fics from last year AND Id fic ideas that have been haunting me since September AND you, Secret Project that has existed in parts for 8 years now. I need to go back to that. I need to go back to Them).

👻 Is there a new genre you'd like to write?

Who am I if I'm not writing overly-dramatic and borderline pretentious hurt/comfort and angst?

I would like to step away from that some, get some fluffier, happier pieces out just on principle. Also, I wouldn't mind writing some horror again if the opportunity and ideas arose. Also also...smut...maybe? I've been bitching about how I haven't written smut in 10 years. I should fix that.

✨What's one area of your writing that you think needs the least amount of improvement? //🥕 What's one area of your writing that you think needs the most amount of improvement?

I'm putting these two together because like...same hat.

In terms of least amount of improvement, I like to think my actual ideas are very, very sound. They may not be to everyone's taste, but I'm very good at seeing/knowing the things I want to explore in writing and then having the means to do so. I kinda had an epiphany with this with the bang, actually. I have a page in my outline that's just me screaming at myself about all the decisions I'm making and why I'm making them...which is probably less than normal to anyone else viewing it. But man, I be thinking about them themes and rhetoric all the time.

However...I've noticed I've become less concise over the years and have gotten more bogged down with...not necessarily unimportant, but unnecessary details. I was the queen of minimalism in college--maybe to my own detriment a bit--but I've somehow now swung the opposite way and feel the need to over-explain everything. So, I'm hoping to rein that in this year, strike a middle ground, and actually trust myself enough to let said ideas breathe on their own. What's a minor, seismic shift in my writing style, anyways?

💥Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're most excited to write? Share a snippet or tell us about it!

God...so many? So many.

I've shared the Id: Invaded snippet. I've shared more than enough snippets from Secret Project (though...not the scene I've been vibrating about for years but...I'm still keeping that one close). God!Gale x Mystra's Chosen!Nox is something I'm super excited to explore, but I haven't gone into immense detail with it yet. Nox's timeloop fic is also on the list and I've gone into even less detail about.

So...bang. I'm allowed to share some stuff from my bang and I'm...really really excited for chapter 1.

An utterly dreadful realization draped itself over her heart, pushing it into the pit of her stomach. Avernus. Oh…oh Gods. Oh Gods no… Trick froze, a small cry dying in her throat. This mirage, this illusion, this…this memory was never meant for her. She had no need for such things, and even if she did, it would never be here. It would’ve been in the woods outside of Reithwin, or the Grove, or…or anywhere else but Baldur’s Gate and that didn’t matter. This wasn’t for her. Newly departed souls—as well as those that remained on the precipice—often needed guidance towards their judgment and subsequent, eternal rest (or lack thereof). It was kinder—gentler to ease them into it whenever possible, though it was rare for Kelemvor’s faithful to be granted the opportunity to do so from the side of the dead rather than of the living. She was too far from the living to do anything there, though, and her guts twisted in violent recognition of what was happening. This was a gift granted by her Lord. A gift…it was a gift, and in time she would be grateful for it. But now, shocked despondency had Trick in a chokehold. It was far, far too soon for anyone to be here, let alone either one of them. “You’re here early.” A shuddering breath escaped her, not quite a cry, and she squeezed her eyes shut tighter to force back a few tears. She hadn’t even realized she had closed them in the first place—some, subconscious bid must have momentarily taken over to keep her safe from the truth for a few seconds longer. To prevent her from seeing who it was before her, to give her an extra moment to pretend it was no one and she was all alone in the pre-dawn light of a winter’s morn in Baldur’s Gate. Trick already knew who it was before he spoke. So are you.

[nuancefem]

Tumblr may have filtered my last ask bc it had a link, or maybe you weren’t interested in responding. If it was a fluke, I’d love to hear your thoughts on a post by butchmartyr/760478305191346176/noooo-trans-person-dont-mistake-your?source=share

My first thought was “there shouldn’t be gender affirming clothes” just clothes you like wearing or clothes that feel expressive. I stewed on it for a while because I definitely support people doing what works for them, but seeing this “no it’s not ur radical self acceptance, it’s trans apathy and don’t die wondering, u could be happier” was kinda wild. Anyway take care out there!!

NAUUURRRRR I WAS TOO LATE THE POST GOT DELETED???

but honestly from what you've said... i feel like trans ppl, especially those who go for more stereotypical opposite sex gender conforming clothes/hairstyles/etc can 1000% do gender affirming things that are sexist, or at least describe what they're doing in a sexist way. they often don't bother to look at their own behaviors thru a feminist lense. in their defense, they are often dealing with debilitating dysphoria and can't really think much beyond "i want the discomfort to stop" and humans often draw conclusions about strangers based on very stereotypical characteristics like long vs short hair, makeup, skirts/dresses vs shorts/pants, high pitched vs low pitched voice etc so for them, conforming to the opposite sex's stereotype means having an easier time being recognized as the opposite sex/agab. it means the awful feeling inside them stops and they get relief from the distress that dysphoria gives them. so they aren't thinking clearly, and i say this as someone who was dysphoric for like, 13 years.

honestly in some way i don't blame them - often they do this only until transition, and then i've found they (at least transmascs) are more likely to want to be visibly gnc post-transition. so they aren't just giving into the patriarchy's demands and reinforcing stereotypes permanently; it's a form of treatment, in a way. but the thing is that it's also addictive... they get validation from one stranger, whether it's just out of trans allyship or not, and then it makes the following times they're misgendered that much more painful. which makes them seek transition that much more desperately, understandably so.

the problem with this is that many of them don't just affect themselves with this. they affect "cis" gnc people too with how they talk about themselves and how they talk about gender-validating crossdressing ("crossdressing" can be a cringy word, but ykwim). they aren't just talking between themselves, as much as they tend to think they are. they're posting about this shit in public social media spaces with mildly dysphoric ppl and gnc people who can very well develop dysphoria thru reading their "how to Look Like A Man/Woman" type posts. if to "look like a man" or "look like a woman" you need to be gender conforming, what would that make "cis" gnc people reading it feel about themselves? in a world where we're always told that we're not man enough, we're not real women, we don't act or dress or think like a woman should? of course i developed dysphoria. ofc i did. many other detrans & post-trans gyns and detrans men developed it as a result of this kind of rhetoric. i understand that these ppl need tips from each other to figure out how to manage their dysphorias. i get that. but this shit isn't well moderated at all. they don't actually tell people hey, it's okay if you're just gnc. they don't put a dysphoria-inducing trigger warning or something. they don't realize that this is a... okay, this will be a weak metaphor, but kinda how some mental illness communities will give each other tips that really makes shit worse for ppl reading it who might not even have had any signs of mental illness symptoms before reading it. <<< another thing that happened to me btw, those tumblr spaces really made me mentally sick. i was always prone to it, same as how i was prone to dysphoria, bc of my upbringing & genes. but reading about very mentally sick people's deep inner thoughts really fucked with my head!! and reading about very dysphoric people's deep inner thoughts REALLY fucked with my sense of self. reading about them calling their boobs in masc outfits gross and disgusting and feeling slimy or whatever on their chest made me start feeling dysphoric about them; i had always felt insecure abt my body, and hated that it was so sexualized by boys, but suddenly i developed a whole new complex about it. i know gnc male/amab ppl can have similar feelings when transfems talk abt their bodies and how gross they looked in feminine outfits, how they wish they looked like cis women, how they can't wait to have that happened bc their current visibly gnc bodies are disgusting. cis/bio gnc men reading or listening to that shit can really gain so much shame abt their natural inclination towards femininity and traditionally unmasculine things.

trans people, dysphoric people really need to watch how they talk about their gnc bodies pre-transition and how much they casually gender clothes, hairstyles etc (even just in jokes). they also need to make sure their audience doesn't have ppl who are mildly, potentially treatable dysphorics who can fall deeper into dysphoria by reading what mainstream tras say about their gender nonconforming bodies and womanhood/manhood. they have no idea how many vulnerable, insecure people susceptible to new insecurities are reading what they're writing or hearing what they're saying. also, them trying to steal the "don't die wondering" sapphic slogan by making it about transness, making it about transition, is truly fucked up. if they listened to detrans/desisted/post-trans people AT ALL they would know what to do and not to do to prevent future detransitions. and detransitioners makes them look bad, as they always love to remind us, so why the fuck would they be so careless as to create more of us by not moderating their spaces? it harms trans people too, doesn't it?

we need more tra accountability. we need them to call this shit out.

[just-orbiting-you]

on twitter tae solos and even tkkers are literally spiraling and going crazy about the fact that jikook were setting boundaries and telling him that ays is THEIR show and they let him come. it’s kind of insane to see all these tweets but really goes to show how much they coddle tae. how did you interpret the way jikook said it was their show at the japanese restaurant? did u think it was a joke? i honestly took it as a joke when i first watched the ep but rewatching it still obviously feels like they were joking but now i feel like there was some hard truth to what they were saying, we all know jikook have a bluntness in their sarcasm that to eachother can be funny but everytime they joked about him being a guest i can feel the animosity. it honestly made me feel bad for them cause i get hes a close friend and band mate but imagine all of the sudden the plans u had for two changed to three because of a group schedule chat, they didn’t even tell him or the other members themselves lol. anyways this ep felt more light and fun with jikook. i know tae was tired and a little sick but the way he stepped back multiple times to let them be showed he also saw how his presence caused a bit of tension. sorry for the long ask, don’t know if ur tired of talking about this situation lol but i wanted to hear ur thoughts!

hey! thanks for your ask! no worries about the length!! i apologize this ended up being so long 💀💀.

this ties into a larger issue with fans of bts these days, where finding slight issue with a member’s behavior, etc. or in this case, stating literal fact opens the door for defensive stans. you’re right, it is coddling and they were coddling him a month ago with his instagram post. tae stans to me are some of the loudest, most defensive, and will never really see the fault in their rhetoric. that thread someone made saying “tae being the ‘uninvited’ guest” and it was all the ways they deliberately accommodated him and deliberately gave him the spotlight. people are coping hard.

i’d like to compare this situation to jungkook’s second suchwita episode, which was shot around the same time and has a very similar vibe. in this episode, taehyung randomly shows up to their shoot after seeing that jungkook was filming that day from the infamous group chat. jungkook’s immediate reaction was “we are doing a shoot, could you please leave?” which ended in a fit of giggles. yoongi and jungkook make a few comments about how he showed up to just eat their prepared meal and when asked to address army in the video, tae just does a thumbs up. jungkook goes “that wasn’t a sentence,” and tae ends up saying the generic 2025 stuff. he makes small reactionary comments, talks over the other two, but basically just sits, listens to their conversation, and mindlessly eats. where i feel like jimin and hobi were integrated as a part of the larger conversation in taemin and jin’s episodes respectively, (probably because they were planned appearances) tae presents as a slightly awkward presence in the video.

i bring this up to say, while the stakes weren’t as high as are you sure, jungkook said a similar comment which while serious in tone as their omakase comments, ended up being in jest. jungkook nor yoongi stopped the shoot to kick him out. i also think there’s a “well he’s our bandmate…” at play here. like they’re not going to kick out taehyung, it’s taehyung, you know. while his presence may have been slightly distracting, yoongi and jungkook still were able to have their conversation and finish the shoot.

i personally think are you sure was bigger offense, purely because this was a trip with preparation, flights, planning and crews involved. and while many have been saying “jimin and jungkook were seemingly happy to have them there and let it happen,” yes they did. again, it’s taehyung, how could they refuse him, especially if he played a pity card of “why am i being left out of this?”

i haven’t seen this problem with any other member’s behavior during chapter 2, where that member overstays his welcome during another member’s schedule. but tae has a unique way of making me say “why is he here, what purpose does his presence serve?” and i think to him, everything is silly and informal, since these are his members. but he doesn’t have the foresight or awareness to think “well what am i intruding into? why do i feel entitled to be here?” it’s a matter of respect.

hence why i think they made the comments that they did. they accommodated him, made arrangements with the crew to change the plan in 48 hours, yet he turns around to say “i shouldn’t have come here” or “why didn’t another member show up” as if their efforts for him were worthless and he was now running the show to invite whoever. everyone of these conversations ends in a lighthearted tone, just like jungkook’s suchwita comment. but i think they effectively put their foot down with the omakase conversation and they had to. while “i shouldn’t have come here” ends in laughs and jokes, i don’t think jikook particularly liked that comment if they both were saying “go home then!”

if tae didn’t get the memo with that reaction, he got it from jikook at the omakase restaurant, he should at least be grateful instead of making flippant comments. i don’t know what the circumstances were on why he wasn’t debriefed or had any assumption about why this shoot was taking place, because he really does not have the awareness on that first day. jikook did something nice for him but they know how tae is. he expressed feeling left out initially, then they poke fun at him being the “guest looking for attention.”

so tldr, i think we can chock the comments up to playful ribbing with a touch of passive aggression, especially from jungkook. even if they felt like they had to, jikook still let him come and seemingly had fun with him, so i don’t think they have it in them to be outright angry or upset on camera. but their persistent small comments throughout the ep do tell me that there might be a touch of exasperation with him working his way into their plans.

[zalrb]

how are u feeling about the gen V finale? i feel like the series had good bones but it’s messaging is very confused, and the last second twist with Homelander’s appearance and attacking Marie felt very out of nowhere. i don’t like the way they seemingly equate genocide (wanting to kill all humans due to them being “an inferior race”) with mental illness and seem to kind of. excuse that rhetoric by saying “these characters are traumatized, it’s understandable!” idk, i have very mixed feelings, i’d love to hear your thoughts

So, as I've mentioned when I've posted about Gen V, I didn't care for the entire plot of the show, like I would've rather follow Marie and Cate and other teen/twenty-year-old Supes deal, in real time, with powers they didn't ask for and how those powers ended up traumatizing them by causing harm and how they were then ostracized. I think that would've been a fresher route to go rather than The Boys 2.0. Besides the fact that I don't feel like I actually know any of the characters, that the relationships were rushed so I didn't care about the "betrayals" or about characters getting together because who ARE you people for me to really feel the impact of any of your decisions, the whole conspiracy of Godolkin doesn't work for me because I find myself asking questions. These characters have seen the war crimes Homelander et. al have done, they know about Compound V, cover-ups of some of the horrendous things Supes have done have been exposed so why would they be surprised when a university for Supes has a place called The Woods? Why would they be surprised when staff end up being manipulative and have their own agendas? What is actually surprising about anything that happens at that school? But at the same time, what did they think this school was? What was the lie that they were sold? What happens here that makes these characters think that cruel, shitty things wouldn't happen particularly since they also kind of say that on some level Jordan and Andre knew, Cate was quasi-involved -- and what did Cate think she was doing exactly? How did Shetty manipulate her exactly? One flashback about how she hugs her after her parents have locked her away for years and says she isn't afraid of her isn't enough for me to believe this entire relationship, that's a start, there should be more -- Marie, you just got here, and you saw how they were going to throw you under the bus to protect the others so why are you yelling about the whole school being a lie? I don't believe their incredulity.

In terms of the finale itself, the messaging was completely muddled and I ended up being like, what are you trying to say? And that's how I watch The Boys but it was exacerbated with Gen V. Because on the one hand, the young Supes yelling about how they're superior to humans and scrawling "Supe Lives Matter" and Sam sort of becoming indoctrinated feels like a commentary on alt right groups and white supremacists but on the other hand, the show also frames Supes as an oppressed community of people who are experimented on and voiceless in government and who are victims of humans and it's like a group lashing out against their oppressors, but they're also killing innocent humans so it's wrong but they were tortured, manipulated and traumatized so it's understandable but oh look commentary on how the cishet white blond people are framed as heroes despite being murderers while the (mostly) poc, genderqueer characters are framed as the villains because America amirite? But Supes deserve a voice too! And instead of it being complex and multi-layered and a show with no easy answers, it just feels like they threw a bunch of different ideas and themes at the wall and blended it all together to make this haphazard mess that leaves me asking, what's the point here?

[acerathia]

twenty questions for fic writers 💖

thank u for the dag erika @kedsandtubesocks !! and!! open tag for everyone who wants to!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

as of now, 10! i'd like to think im pretty consistent with posting on there fjsdlkf

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

88,099 words lolol

3. What fandoms do you write for?

honestly, anything that tickles my fancy. a lot of bnha, some jjk, naruto ofc, and honestly, even genshin, hsr, lds, undertale, orv. i even had a phase where i was writing marvel fics hahaha

4. Top five fics by kudos

let's see

drowning in you (Rafayel x reader)

The Apple of my Eye (Izuku x reader)

equilibrium (Aventurine x reader)

Grave Robbery (Katsuki x reader)

two birds: a tragedy in five acts (Obito x reader)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I honestly get so excited over every comment i get, i cant help but immediately respond 😔

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

idk if it's considered a fic, but that short dabi piece, i cant find the link o7 but it was pretty angsty but in terms of an actual fic, i would consider the ending of 'two birds' as the angstiest ending? maybe

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i would say that on terms of happiness, most of them are equal, bc i tend to end fics on the same place during the momentum hahaha

8. Do you get hate on fics?

this question assumes that people outside of my mutuals read my fics hahaha, no, not really o7

9. Do you write smut?

i've never written explicit smut, just alluding to it or using metaphors. i dont feel comfy writing smut (yet) hahaha

10. Craziest crossover?

never done a crossover o7

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

again, no hahaha

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

boring answer, again no

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes,,, i did write a fics with my bsf in middle school. but also, kinda during my wattpad days... dont ask hahaha

14. All time favorite ship?

my mutualy x happiness <3

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

my marvel fics honestly had pretty cool ideas, but i'm just not into it anymore lolol. but also, one huge fic ive written in ms for mm, but bc it was on paper, i lost everything o7 i'd like to think that even if i take breaks, that i pull through most of the time, unless i completely lose interest

16. What are your writing strengths?

good question, uhm, i think my writing style is nice? idk

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I often cant pull through if the plot is supposed to be longer, as it feels like i lose momentum, also, i often get distracted in the middle of writing and lose my thoughts hahah

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

It depends imo, whole dialogue in another language can rip one out of the vibe, but bits and pieces if done correctly can hint at the personality of the character. esp if one considers how people do that too (i loveee using random english words while speaking other languages)

19. First fandom you wrote in?

naruto o7 ive got a track record worth years atp

20. Favorite fic you've written?

in terms of the overall writing, i like 'two birds' a lot bc the foreshadowing was real hahaha, but also the way i used rhetorical figures and stuff plotwise i like drowning in you, bc it was so self-indulgend and very soft

[rollercoasterwords]

hey! I'm sorry if you've answered this/spoken about this before, and if so please just point me in the direction of your previous answer. but I recently had a trans friend who asked me to stop interacting with the wolfstar/marauders fandom. liking/reblogging posts and reading fanfics within the marauders fandom are the only way I interact with jkr/hp. I would not do anything to directly give her money, but my friend's argument is that every like and interaction with the fandom makes it more influential, which translates to more money. as well as not boycotting hp entirely is a slap in the face to trans people. so, I've stopped reblogging content because I don't want to negatively impact my friend or any other trans people, but I don't personally think I'm doing any harm through engaging with fanart/fanfic.

obviously you're engaged in the fandom, so I'm kinda looking to have my opinion validated... but I think you're very smart and that we share similar values, so I respect your thoughts and any advice you have for this situation. thank you <3

honestly anon if ur looking for like a nicely-wrapped post of "here's why it's okay to interact with harry potter fanfiction" then u have probably come to the wrong place, as this is a topic that i still have conflicted feelings about myself! but. if u want a little essay of my thoughts on the matter then here u go xx

so, first of all - yes, obviously i still interact with hp fandom. however, i'm not going to pretend that i don't understand your friend's point. i get the logic behind the argument that giving any attention to any sort of harry potter media in this day and age helps keep harry potter relevant, which contributes to jkr's influence, which is an influence she actively uses to hurt trans people. i understand why ur trans friend would feel hurt or ask u to stop interacting w hp media altogether.

however, trans people are not a monolith, and there are many trans people who continue to interact with hp in a variety of ways. for me, the space i've carved out in fandom over the past year or so has been a little online haven since i have to remain closeted irl for the most part. hp fanfic has been an important outlet for me to explore + express things abt my own trans identity. but i am also very aware that within the broader trans community, i am not one of those who is most vulnerable to jkr's rhetoric + politics. at the end of the day, there are trans people who don't care if you spend money on hp, there are trans people who don't care if u interact with fandom as long as u aren't spending money, there are trans people who think u shouldn't touch hp with a five-foot pole, and all manner of perspectives in between.

for me personally, there are caveats to my interaction with hp + the way i navigate the ethical minefield of jkr. i don't think there is any reason to ever financially contribute to hp, whether that's buying merch or games or going to hp themeparks or whatever, and i discourage people from interacting w hp within the context of any sort of profit economy. i try not to interact with hp in a way that will grow the popularity of the franchise in any way - i post fanfiction on ao3, where the people reading it are gonna be people who are already part of this space that are seeking it out, and i have this tumblr blog which is, essentially, the same deal. i'm not trying to advertise my fic or get people to suddenly develop a new interest in harry potter, if that makes sense. this is part of why tiktok remains a bit of an ethical quagmire for me, because i feel that the way people interact w fic on there often blurs the lines between being inside or outside of a profit economy.

i also think it's important, when interacting with hp in any way, to acknowledge jkr's influence and the inherent shittiness of the source material. i don't think it's enough to go "dobby wrote the books haha!" and act like we can just ignore jkr, bc her shitty politics are built into the book. i think it's important to engage critically and to consider how you're building off the source material and whether ur unintentionally perpetuating the biases in the text by copying and pasting them without further examination. i talk abt this more in this post

and, of course, i think it's important to vocally stand against jkr + her politics, and to support trans people within + outside of fandom spaces in whatever ways you can. i think it's important to stay educated + engage with theory + politics in a way that goes beyond retweeting posts or watching tiktok clips. jkr isn't just transphobic; her sexism, racism, classism, fatphobia, homophobia, ableism, antisemitism, and overall horrible neoliberal politics are very much built into the text of hp, and if u are not actively educating urself on these issues it's gonna be easier to just internalize them without realizing it.

for me, these are all considerations that affect the way i interact with hp + the extent to which i interact with hp. however, there are people out there who would probably tell me to get off my high horse + stop acting like there are more or less ~morally pure~ ways to interact with hp, bc at the end of the day there's no ethical consumption under capitalism and people writing hp fanfiction isn't really harmful in the grand scheme of things. there are other people who would tell me that it doesn't matter what mitigating factors i'm using to justify my hobby; any contribution that keeps people talking about hp keeps jkr relevant, and i should be able to find other shit to write about. and like....i understand the perspectives of both those people, y'know?

i honestly just think this is a decision where every individual needs to weigh the scales themselves and decide what they're okay with. it's not my job to police or justify the ways people do or don't interact w hp media; if someone's interacting with it in a way i don't like, then i block that person or just don't interact with them. if someone sees me interacting w hp fanfic + thinks that makes me a shitty person, then they can think that and we can go on living our separate lives. some trans people continue to find comfort + community in hp fandom spaces, other trans people feel deeply hurt by the continued existence of these spaces. there is no single answer to What Supports Everybody. your relationship with your friend is something specific to your situation that you'll need to take into account when weighing your own feelings about interacting with hp; the only advice i can really offer is that i think it's better to critically consider the various perspectives people have on this issue without reducing it to a black and white case of two sides where one must be right and one must be wrong.

[dragons-and-dwarves-are-nice]

To the Shadows that Cry Witch /// Chapter 11

Hello!! I know it's been less than a month, but it feels like I haven't posted a chapter in forever! As much as I've enjoyed this small hiatus, it's definitely given me the motivation to start writing again. Now, as for the first chapter of Part 2, Chapter 11 includes an introduction of one of my own OCs, who's name you will find out below and I can't wait for you to meet him! Enjoy! <3

Summary: Magic was real, but it came at a price. So when two girls end up in the one place they never thought they could reach, strange things began to happen. Good or bad? That's up to them to find out.

Tags: Kíli x oc/reader - Fíli x oc (POV to be written soon) - Thorin's company x ocs/reader (platonic) - fluff - angst - EXTREME slow burn - crack - Bagginshield

Word Count: 2355

Warnings: Mentions of Minor and Major Injuries from last chapter.

Taglist - comment or message to be added!

PLEASE START FROM THE BEGINNING IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY OK LOVE U

Want some background music? Check out my Soundtrack Playlist!

Now available on Wattpad and AO3 (please let me know if links aren't working)

< Part 1 // Chapter 11 // Chapter 12 >

PART 2: Chapter 11 -

Unfortunate Beginnings

Anodyne (Definition): Capable of soothing or easing pain. (Figuratively) soothing or relaxing. (Adjective / Origin: Derived from the Greek/Latin word anṓdynos/ an·​o·​dyne ˈa-nə-ˌdīn)

Hobbiton, The Shire – T.A. Sunday 25th September 2939 of the Third Age (1339 in Shire-reckoning)

The moment Bilbo’s footsteps faded away, Kay was immediately upon me as she whipped around in her chair and I could see the question she had wanted to ask earlier burn in her eyes.

“Why’d you ask for his name?” she practically blurted out.

“Because we don’t know him.” I stated. Kay’s brows furrowed in confusion.

“But we do? Don’t we?”

“From the book and movies, yes,” I began explaining, “But we don’t actually know him, we just know of him. Plus if we called him by his name without asking for it first, I’m pretty sure he would be given enough heebie jeebies to throw us out. Then we would really have no place to go.”

Kay nodded slowly in agreement, before responding. “I mean, we do know of other places to stay.”

“But, would we actually get there alive, let alone know how to get there?” I questioned rhetorically.

Kay slumped back in her chair disappointedly with a groan at the obvious truth. We were raised and conditioned to live in a – somewhat – sheltered society. We hadn’t had a single lesson in life on how to survive out in the uncharted wild, apart from the occasional Bear Grylls show that I couldn’t remember anything from, except that thing where you drink your own urine, but I would honestly die on the first day of thirst than go anywhere near my piss. Soon Kay pulled me out of my spiralling thoughts as she pushed herself out her chair and I twisted my head to watch as she passed me.

“Oi.” I said, reaching out to prod at her arm. “Bilbo said to stay put.”

“He also said help yourself to tea.” She fired back as she made her way to the kitchen. “And I have two working ankles.”

It was now my turn to slump back in my own chair with a huff. A bit bored, I stretched my legs towards the fireplace in an attempt to warm my feet as I listened to Kay’s footsteps as she pottered around. You couldn’t let her be too sure of herself whilst she walked around with a knocked head after all. The clinks of ceramics became clearer as she wandered back through, balancing everything on the ornate wooden tray in her hands. She plopped it onto the small table that sat in between our armchairs before settling herself back into her chair.

Swatting my outstretched legs away from the fire whilst muttering something about my lack of fire safety, she passed me my cup of steaming tea, before picking up her own. Facing towards the open window, where the sun and many sounds of the morning wandered through, her expressions shifted as thoughts floated around in her head.

“Where do you suppose he’s gone?” She pondered as her eyes wandered about.

“Some sort of healer maybe?” I suggested, taking a sip of tea. “He did seem to panic over our whole ‘We’re severely injured!’ ordeal at the end of breakfast.”

“Huh, maybe.”

We sat in a peaceful silence for a bit as we waited for Bilbo’s return. Though whilst I stared at the crackling fire, an unwanted thought came to mind.

“Wait, so.. how are we gonna repay him in this condition?” I said worriedly. Kay joined me in staring at the fire as she tried to think of something. “I just don’t want to be kicked out for not being able to do anything meaningful.” I added.

“Eugh, you’re right.” Kay replied with a slight panic in her eye as she looked away from the flames at me. She took a moment as she thought of her next words. “Though I’ve read the hobbit enough times to know he’s surely not like that. We’ll explain that whilst we’re healing, we’ll start with smaller things, then the better we get, the bigger tasks we take on.”

I took a deep breath as I nodded, drinking more tea to distract myself from overthinking.

Moments passed before the second stretch of silence was interrupted. The muffled sounds of voices getting closer to the front door increased, one voice sounding familiar but frantic, whilst the other one unfamiliar and annoyed. We both leant over our armchairs to fixate on the circular door as it swung open, and we both watched as a now tussled up Bilbo quickly ushered in another hobbit. This other hobbit looked as if he had been dragged out of bed then through a bush backwards by his pointy ears as he stumbled in with bleary eyes. Poor guy was nodding almost subconsciously at the words that were pouring out of Bilbo’s mouth as he rubbed at his eyes in an attempt to be rid of his tiredness. He slipped off the coat that was already askew on his shoulders, before haphazardly patting down his unsightly bedhead of mousy brown hair as he turned away from his now hung up coat to follow Bilbo deeper into the house.

“Now Master Baggins,” The stranger managed out whilst stifling another yawn. “Let us see what caused you to wake me up at the crack of dawn, on a Sunday might I add.”

“Yes, yes, through here.” Bilbo said almost dismissively as he strode up to where we were sitting, beckoning the other hobbit over. I spotted the relief on his face as he saw that we hadn’t really moved at all from where he had left us. As for the second hobbit, his tiredness was snatched away from him in an instant as his half lidded eyes landed on us, and he almost stumbled back in shock at the sight of us, his hand clutched over his heart.

“By Yavanna! Where in Middle Earth did they come from?!” He cried as his wide chestnut eyes scoured over our appearance. We recoiled slightly at his outcry, eyeing each other concerned. Surely we didn’t look that bad?

“Fell straight from the top of the hill, they did.” Bilbo began explaining, , (Ok, maybe we did look that bad) stuffing his hands in his pockets as he swung back and forth on his heels. The other hobbit faced him with a gaping mouth at Bilbo’s casualness, before turning towards us.

“And you’re still alive?!?” he gasped incredulously. I shrugged whilst Kay gestured at herself with a ‘guess so!’ look on her face. He faced back to Bilbo, “And what in Yavanna’s name made you make the decision to bring two unknown big folk into your home???”

“That’s what I was saying!” Kay muttered to herself, though the two hobbits were too busy squabbling to notice.

“They mean no harm to any of us. No weapons or anything malevolent in their packs. From what they’ve told me, they simply got lost in the woods and never found the way out.” Bilbo stated, his tone indicating that this was his final decision. “And they’ve given no reason for me to have them leave. Nothing but impeccable manners.”

We both eyed each other confusedly at Bilbo’s sudden defensiveness, then all three of us watched as the second hobbit’s mouth bobbed open and shut, unable to form the words. Bilbo looked between him and us for a moment before letting out a frustrated sigh. Gesturing towards us with a firm hand, he glared at the unnamed hobbit expectantly. Looking rather panicked for a second, Mr No-Name brought his eyes back on us. He then straightened up, nervously digging his thumbs into his belt loops as he began to speak.

“I errrr – Good morning.” He managed out and we both smiled politely as he spoke, which seemed to relax him slightly. “I’m Erard Noakesburrow, Hobbiton’s doctor, and uh – my good friend Bilbo here, told me that you both had quite the night!. And he’s certainly not exaggerating, from what I can see.” He said whilst mostly eyeing the bruises and cuts that were scattered around on the both of us.

“You’re not wrong.” I replied jokingly. “I’m pretty sure everything’s broken.”

Erard huffed a light laugh at my half-joke, giving us both a weak smile back that emphasised the freckles dotted on his face. Luckily he seemed to be calming down from his original panic.

“Right,” He said, lightly patting his legs to rid of the rest of his nerves. He turned back to Bilbo who was looking back expectantly. “I guess I’ll go and get what I need to examine them both. Then we can go on about the healing process.” He explained. “I take it they need a place to rest?” He asked Bilbo.

“There’s no need!” Exclaimed Bilbo, causing Erard to blink at him in surprise. “They’ll be.. staying here.”

Erard eyed us both slightly, then back at Bilbo.

“Allllright then, if you insist Master Baggins! Saves me the hassle!” He said as he turned towards the door. “I’ll go get my stuff.”

Kay and I both looked at each other questionably at Bilbo’s insistence. He was a hobbit, and I’ve read many times that hobbits do love having guests, but surely he wouldn’t be this eager to let two strangers he just met (officially) this morning?

We watched as Bilbo waved Erard out the door, nodding at whatever the doctor was saying as he walked away, before pushing it shut and heading back over to us. Bilbo went to say something, but I quickly interrupted as to not forget what I wanted to say.

“Are you sure you want us here?” I questioned. Bilbo blinked at me in confusion. “I mean, you don’t actually know us and you seem very sure about letting us stay.”

“Well I – I’m not too sure, actually.” He said uncertainly. “It’s true that I don’t know you both, in fact the only thing I know are your names.” He uttered half a word, before quickly changing course,” But you should know! Us hobbits truly love having guests – and to send you away, seeing the state you both are in, it would be very cruel to do so!” He finished with a nervous laugh.

My eyes drifted to the ground as my thoughts darted around to try and guess what Bilbo would have said, but the answers were too far out of reach right now, so I simply nodded at him. He gave a strained smile before disappearing off into the kitchen, muttering something about another kettle of tea. Kay and I instantly had a silent conversation, the both of us mouthing questions and gesturing our confusion at each other. It was somewhat unusual for Bilbo to let us stay and despite our uncertainty, it wasn’t like we were complaining.

Finally, Erard had returned with his bag. Placing it on the floor near us, he knelt down to take out what he needed and placed it on the table next to the fresh tea Bilbo had brought in. I leant forward to take a look at what he had. Most of it looked like traditional doctors equipment. I identified a stethoscope, but I’m not a doctor, so everything else I couldn’t put a name to.

“Okay, why don’t we start with what you know.” He said.

Just like we had done with Bilbo over the dining table, we listed off everything we knew. With each injury, we watched as Erard’s face became more and more concerned, and by the time we had finished, he was quite pale.

“I.. – I’ve got to say,” he huffed, his cheeks puffing out as he took a deep inhale. “It’s a miracle that you’re both here.”

Everyone had grim looks on their faces as he said this, reality setting in as Kay and I both realised how lucky we were to survive (and land in Middle Earth of course).

As respectfully as he could, Erard gently examined my ribcage, lightly pressing his small fingers down to identify which areas were broken. As for Kay, no torch lights were available in this dimension, so he used his finger for her eyes to follow to check on her head injury, confirming that she indeed had a concussion, but to add to our growing list of luck, it was only minor. Like he did with me, he used his fingers to see where Kay had injured her back as well. Standing back up, he brushed off his trousers and retrieved a book from his bag. He asked to borrow a quill and ink, which Bilbo quickly rushed off to get. He spoke as we waited.

“From what I have examined from the both of you, it’s not looking good.” He said a bit solemnly and we looked up at him with worried faces. “Though, it’s not the most terrible, either.” At this point Bilbo had walked back in and wordlessly handed him the quill and small bottle of ink. Erard thanked him with a nod and began writing in his book as he spoke again. “Everything I’ve observed will heal on its own, though it will take a while. Bed rest with short spurts of gentle exercise will ensure that you stay healthy. You – ” he pointed the quill at me, “ – will need a sling for that wrist of yours, but your ribs and ankle should heal as long as you’re gentle with those areas. And you – ” the quill darted in Kay’s direction, “don’t lift anything heavy for a while, otherwise you’ll worsen the strain on your spine.”

The two of us nodded obediently at his words and he snapped his book shut, satisfied. After repacking his bag, he beckoned Bilbo over to the front door for a private conversation. We carried on drinking our teas as we tried to tune in to the unintelligible murmuring going on down the hallway. Eventually the front door opened and we both leant over our chairs again to call out our thanks and wave goodbye. Erard raised his hand in response as he slipped on his coat, sending a warm smile in our direction before he turned. Giving Bilbo a nod – most likely to do with what they conversed about privately – he picked up his bag and stepped out, leaving Bilbo to push the door shut behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you enjoyed meeting Erard! I'm going to create a character sheet of him soon, so look out for that <3

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[tricornonthecob]

Oh thank god they left

LK 109: The Bunker Hill I'll Bunker Die On

(pt1)(pt2)(pt3)(pt4)

We love and cherish Empathetic James in this house, Empathetic James best James.

*vague gesturing* something something edutainment.

As a short person, if I'm walking with a much taller person, I will sometimes cheerfully walk under low hanging branches just to fuck with the other person in a friendly way. Henri absolutely did this on purpose.

Galloping along the beach sidesaddle, yeah that girl is the best horseman in the anglosphere.

Just fuckin.... making conversation while galloping. As one does. Its not like your core is being exercised, no sir.

Has anyone else noticed how Massive Nose is part of the art team's design shorthand for British NPC.

Ooooh she's got her cheeky face on, she's about to do some chaos.

You'd think after she lost the first one she'd be nervous to pull a stunt like this, but no.

Parallels.

I love this show has its own version of the brohug, I'm assuming its based on contemporaneous 18th century depictions of dudes being bros.

Whats happening here is Dr. Warren is fierce, just look at that stance, that silhouette.

James looks adorable here but like also SARAH WROTE SHIT TOO OMG

James has never received so many attaboys at once in his life, the oxytocin flood must be overwhelming. Quick someone needs to tousle his hair.

Feral Frenchman Spy does what he wants.

British NPC face.

He was not prepared for the Phillips Commanding Aura.

Sarah really knows how to navigate army officers. I know I said before her dad doesn't talk about the war much but maybe his army buddies did? And she picked up alot from them interacting?

So is her plan to just... ask this random ass dude who is likely going to be a little busy getting shot at if he might by any chance know where in the Ohio Wilderness her dad could possibly be?

awww wanting to impress her crush and then Fuck U, Mom, all in one breath. Teenage rebellion is adorable.

They way he says füüüd

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? You mean the cause that has no money can't pay its people?

well he didn't really need a whole lot of convincing did he.

...Why do they keep trying to give a guy with no command or military credentials command of a volunteer paramilitary unit.

What a fanboi. Wait a minute... do they have history?

*heavy eyeroll/sigh at jingoistic army recruitment rhetoric from post-9/11 years*

[haootia]

pls can u explain about your character that’s like the bikes falling image please i’m so interested

hmmmm okay the best i can do without getting totally neck-deep in my own convoluted lore is

a bicycle accident is a really important point in her backstory and serves as kind of a defining moment that separates a "before" and "after" period of her life. even though the actual incident on the bike is not the important part (the things that actually change "before" into "after" are not direct consequences of the bike accident) she continues to use it as a temporal landmark, ie referring to things as happening "the year before i fell off the bike"

she has total locked-in syndrome and has no direct control over her physical body, she communicates exclusively through a brain-computer interface; she repeatedly asks her parents and caretakers to cut her hair, but her parents refuse because they want her to "look pretty", so she has extremely long black hair (visual resemblance to the bicycle path image) that serves as a symbol for... a lot of things, really, but chiefly it represents the lack of agency over her own life

the plot of the story revolves around her (+ another character) manipulating reality -- again i'm trying not to get into the weeds here both because it would be very difficult to read and because i want to keep some of this private until i actually format this story into a public-facing work -- in a way that involves making note of and influencing a huge number of tiny, almost imperceptible starting conditions in order to make certain end states more likely. essentially, they are figuring out exactly what position every part of the bike needs to be in, how hard you need to push it, the material the floor needs to be made of, every detail of the ambient atmosphere, et cetera in order for it to move, unsteered, along a specific track. this is not exactly "time travel" but it does involve acting across seemingly impossible distances of both time and space (if the phrase "statistical proxy distillation tracing" means anything to you, it's something similar to that)*

so the unsteered bicycle serves pretty neatly as a thematic, visual, and narrative representation of this particular character. her name is tallulah.

also, the original paper isn't sourced on the tumblr post nor the reddit post, which is a shame because it is quite good. it's about experimenting with getting an artificial intelligence to ride a (simulated, virtual) bicycle.

it's pretty short and, in my opinion, worth reading even if you don't really care about physics simulations or ai or whatever. there are some fun footnotes.

*nb: the phrase "statistical proxy distillation tracing" originates from mother horse eyes post #77, where it is used to refer to some very complicated and arcane process beyond the scope of the narrator's (and the reader's) understanding. this is a rhetorical device and statistical proxy distillation tracing is never actually explained, which is fine, because all we need to know for the sake of the story is that it lets someone influence things they otherwise should have no control over, and it is only the consequences of that influence that we care about.