#the portrayal and development of their relationship to the eventual breakup

[cinemapremi]

Vicky Kaushal's Journey: From Self-Doubt to Sam Manekshaw

In the world of cinema, actors often face immense pressure to embody their characters convincingly. Vicky Kaushal, renowned for his remarkable performances, recently revealed his initial self-doubts about playing the role of Field Marshal Sam Manekshaw in Meghna Gulzar's upcoming film, "Sam Bahadur." Sam Bahadur Vicky Kaushal Unveils Intriguing Poster Ahead of Trailer Release Karwa Chauth 2023 Katrina Kaif’s Stunning Celebrations with Vicky Kaushal

A Heroic Challenge

At the trailer launch event held at the Manekshaw Centre in Mumbai, Vicky Kaushal expressed his apprehensions about portraying the legendary Field Marshal Sam Manekshaw. This candid revelation caught the attention of the media and fans alike. A Pivotal Conversation Kaushal and director Meghna Gulzar had initially collaborated on the 2018 film "Raazi." It was during this project that Gulzar shared her desire to create a biopic on Sam Manekshaw. This revelation set the stage for Kaushal's transformative journey. Rashmika Mandanna AI Deepfake Video Controversy: Mrunal Thakur Expresses Frustration A Quest for Identity As Kaushal's roots traced back to Punjab, he had heard tales of Sam Manekshaw through his parents. However, he admitted that he had never seen a photograph of the military icon. This led to a pivotal conversation with Meghna Gulzar, during which Kaushal secretly Googled Manekshaw and was taken aback by the Field Marshal's striking appearance. Overcoming Self-Doubt The actor candidly admitted, "He is very handsome, and I will not get this role." It was Meghna Gulzar's belief in him that eventually led to his portrayal of this iconic figure. Tara Sutaria Confirms Breakup with Aadar Jain: Is She Dating Kartik Aaryan?

The Grand Trailer Launch

The trailer launch of "Sam Bahadur" was a star-studded affair, graced by the presence of Army Chief General Manoj Pande, Vicky Kaushal's co-actors Sanya Malhotra and Fatima Sana Shaikh, director Meghna Gulzar, and producer Ronnie Screwvala. https://www.instagram.com/p/CzYV6k6oqux/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== A Historical Journey "Sam Bahadur" is set to span over 40 years of Sam Manekshaw's illustrious career. It will encompass significant milestones, including his service in World War II and his role as the Chief of Army Staff during the 1971 Indo-Pakistan war, a conflict that led to the creation of Bangladesh. The film promises to offer a comprehensive look into this historical figure's life. The Toughest Role Vicky Kaushal acknowledged that playing Sam Manekshaw was the most challenging role of his life. It wasn't just about mimicking the Field Marshal's speech and gait; it was about capturing the essence of the man himself.

A Hero's Compassion

Kaushal's portrayal of Sam Manekshaw aimed to highlight the Field Marshal's compassionate nature. In an interview, Manekshaw had revealed that, in his 40-year career, he had never punished a soldier. This quality, especially when holding immense power, left a deep impression on Kaushal. The Journey of Preparation To embody the character, Vicky Kaushal had to work not only on the physical aspects but also on capturing the spirit of Sam Manekshaw. This involved extensive research, including reading, watching interviews, and discussions with the Manekshaw family. The Bond with Meghna Gulzar Reuniting with director Meghna Gulzar was a heartwarming experience for Kaushal. Their collaboration on "Raazi" had developed a level of trust, and their seamless working relationship continued in "Sam Bahadur."

A Stellar Cast and a Special Year

"Sam Bahadur" also stars Sanya Malhotra as Sam Manekshaw's wife Silloo and Fatima Sana Shaikh as former Prime Minister Indira Gandhi. The ensemble cast promises a compelling cinematic experience. A Reunion of Talent "Sam Bahadur" marks a reunion for Sanya Malhotra and Fatima Sana Shaikh, who initially appeared together in the 2015 blockbuster "Dangal," starring Aamir Khan. Their growth as actors and performers has been a rewarding journey. A Tale of Dedication Both actors recalled the intense filming of "Dangal," where they played real-life wrestlers Geeta Phogat and Babita Phogat. The dedication they exhibited then has brought them to their current positions in the industry.

The Cinematic Revelation

Produced by RSVP Movies and written by Bhavani Iyer, Shantanu Shrivastava, and Meghna Gulzar, "Sam Bahadur" is scheduled for release in theaters on December 1. It promises to be a cinematic revelation, unveiling the life of a remarkable military figure.

Vicky Kaushal's journey from self-doubt to portraying Field Marshal Sam Manekshaw is a tale of dedication and transformation. "Sam Bahadur" is not just a film; it's a tribute to a man of compassion and courage. It is a cinematic endeavor to ensure that the legacy of Sam Manekshaw lives on. Who is Sam Manekshaw, and why is he significant? Sam Manekshaw was a renowned Indian military figure, and his significance lies in his role as the Chief of Army Staff during the 1971 Indo-Pakistan war, which led to the creation of Bangladesh. What inspired Vicky Kaushal in his portrayal of Sam Manekshaw? Vicky Kaushal was inspired by Sam Manekshaw's compassion and his commitment to never punishing a soldier during his 40-year career. Why did Vicky Kaushal consider playing Sam Manekshaw the toughest role of his life? Vicky Kaushal found it challenging not only to mimic Manekshaw's mannerisms but also to capture the essence of the man himself. What role does Meghna Gulzar play in Vicky Kaushal's career? Meghna Gulzar has been a pivotal figure in Vicky Kaushal's career, and their collaboration has been marked by trust and successful filmmaking. Also checkout: Read the full article

[verticordiia]

preface:  as i do not support this relationship as it has been portrayed in canon,  expect me to be s.herren critical,  but as it is a part of her canon and i decided not to remove it,  i have decided to make this make sense as far as my portrayal is concerned.

sherry and ren started dating when she was twenty,  got engaged on their two year anniversary when she was twenty-two and finally broke up half a year before she turned twenty-four. 

they initially started growing closer during the time skip  ---  the catalyst for their relationship being a long-term assignment they were both picked for by the council.  it fell together with sherry drifting away from her original team,  in part due to lyon’s single-minded focus on finding gray,  and at the same time developing closer ties with jenny,  something that caused her to be all right with the way things were developing for a time.  during the time of their relationship,  they were in a long-distance relationship and rarely saw each other outside of the weekends or the vacations they went on together.

neither of sherry nor ren were experienced with serious relationships,  which concealed early issues but spelled out trouble later on and their glaring differences in personality did not help matters.  she did genuinely care for him but she grew increasingly troubled by how his persona came into the way of their relationship,  culminating in the event during the x791 grand magic games,  and his trouble with allowing himself vulnerability as well as how their relationship was misused in conversation about her.  several magazines had quite a bit to say about her supposed naivety and although she tried to block this out,  it became more difficult as the attacks became vicious.

their eventual breakup was a decision they made due to many different things and although sherry still wishes him well and does occasionally text him,  they avoid each other to prevent more unpleasant headlines as right after their breakup,  it was all the gossip magazines were talking about  ---  and neither of them was treated kindly.

[nightmarebees]

OKAY SO i’ve actually finished the movie now. from the last scene with grace, including her goal to “find [her] words again,” it seems like we’re meant to see that to her, henry was a necessary stepping stone in her recovery. i don’t mean this as simply as “she was using him,” but that she needed to try being with someone else in order to see that that wasn’t what she actually needed.

so was this a story of henry’s first Big Love, or was it a story of how grace lost hers and tried to move on to a Second? the second love will always be compared to the first, and in grace’s situation, it wasn’t a breakup but death that separated them. there is no reason for them ending, no negative breakup associations, and with the rose-colored lens of grief, nobody else will ever compare for grace.

grace says that the way she kisses henry is “the only way i know how.” since they’re childhood friends, we assume that dom was grace’s first love, first boyfriend, first everything. the only way she’s ever been in love or even just experienced attraction is attached to a deep emotional connection.

i’m glad that the movie didn’t end up with grace and henry “together.” i’m glad that they sort of acknowledged the existence of temporary relationships, that we are always changing as people and sometimes we are only compatible with certain others for a certain time in our lives. i’m glad they started out the movie by addressing how the hormone levels of teenagers make everything feel heightened, either euphoric or the end of the world.

but in the end, it doesn’t matter if these things are briefly addressed in the introduction, or if the resolution implies something about that. the story of the film is told as the absolute truth, the reality in which the characters live. if it’s real to the characters, and we are presented with no outside proxy showing that their experiences aren’t the whole truth, then we accept it as the reality of the situation.

the film was not produced by 16-17 year olds whose brains are still developing, it was produced by adults. adults who should, in the year 2020, have more awareness of how they go about telling this story. it doesn’t matter if the things that make grace fall into the Manic Pixie category are somewhat deconstructed later in the film, the issue is how long the audience is left with them before that. it doesn’t matter if henry truly doesn’t know what’s going on with grace, it still falls into a tired narrative where the girl’s trauma is a mystery for the boy to unravel, and if he does so, he’ll find the key to her heart. it doesn’t matter if we will find out eventually that grace’s coping mechanisms for holding onto dom, by showing them “exposed” from henry’s POV, it makes the issue about him being hurt by her, not about what she’s experiencing that has driven her to this.

this is very loose and disorganized, but i think my points are more or less made. i’m even second guessing myself and thinking, am i just a bad feminist for perceiving grace’s portrayal this way? did they actually make enough nods to the fact that she’s a separate person and doesn’t need fixing, and i’m just focusing on the bad bc i want to be angry? or am i just reflecting back on the viewing after knowing how it ends?

basically, if it even resembles a sexist trope, you have to be EXPLICIT in deconstructing and/or discrediting it. there’s spoon feeding interpretations to the audience, and then there’s perpetuating ideas about male/female romance that are harmful, especially to the teens who are supposed to be the focus of the film.

[berrauncomd282]

Aynen Aynen

Personally I do not watch any romantic comedy genre films in Turkish, it’s because I think it does not reflect how relationships really happen in today’s society. Most Turkish soaps on Turkish Television revolve around the same cliché plot : poor girl falls in love with rich business man first they don’t like each other but they eventually end up together, the female character is always timid and the male is the one who always makes initiative  and pursues and chases after the girl while the female character submissively gives in and depicts her traditional gender roles.

“Aynen Aynen” is a short honest and straight to the point mini TV show. It is a more authentic representation and portrayal of Turkish heterosexual relationships, I also find it entertaining and funny because of the dialogue it’s not forced or dramatized it shows how today’s generation really relates to relationships.

The script is no one-dimensional it shows and expresses both the female and male perspective, There are freeze frame scenes in which the scene freezes and the male/female character says what they really think in that situation and their true reaction and perception of the situation. These freeze frame scenes exhibit how most of the time how filtered we act in initial stages of dating to come off as the best version of ourselves instead of sharing our true motives and what we want or feel in order to keep our partner or make them happy. As their relationship develop from season 1-2 as an observer we become aware that the freeze frame scenes get less in quantity because partners become more comfortable telling the truth instead of saying what they think the other person wants to hear.

In the third season Emir cheats on Nil with her roommate and it shows how the breakup process occurs there is also a new male character who is trying to abstain from sexual relations from women because he slept with too many women. To watch this show you need to have a bluTv subscription, which is similar to Netflix, but there are other shows available from streaming such as The Handmaid’s Tale and The Girlfriend Experience.

[iamanartichoke]

In my post-Endgame funk, I’ve been doing the equivalent of brain bleaching by losing myself and barely coming up for air indulging in fics that have nothing to do with IW or Endgame, or Thanos, or the hopelessly OOC portrayal of the New Thor. I figured I’d share a few recs, in case others are in the same boat. (Note: Most of these are Thorki, sorry not sorry.) 

Under the cut, because this got long. 

Godchild by Griseldajane. This is the one that actually prompted me to make this rec post, because it is one of two fics that literally made me cry. I never cry, so you can see how this is a big deal. A spell is cast on Thor to make him five years old, and Loki finds himself little Thor’s caretaker. Very engaging and very well-written. (This one is not Thorki.) 

Mad Man by Griseldajane. This one was absolutely brilliant. Thor is kidnapped and brainwashed and Loki not only has to rescue him but then take care of Thor as Thor is deeply traumatized. I rarely, if ever, see hurt/comfort fics where Loki is the caretaker instead of Thor, and this one was very engrossing and satisfying. Slow-burn Thorki, 2012-Living-In-Avengers-Tower vibes, Thor whump, emotions and tears, seriously everything. 

To Build a Home by crinklefries. Thorki human AU that explores the deep hurt that accompanies a breakup with one’s soulmate. Also an interesting take on the brother trope - in this one, Loki was a foster child who lived with Thor for a few years before disappearing, and Thor searches endlessly for him as an adult until they find one another again. It’s very sweet and also angsty (but with a happy ending). 

Let Me Come Home On A Summer’s Night by SouvenirsFamiliers (unnecessary). Another Thorki human AU that goes from Thor and Loki in high school to their college years. The pacing is very good, there’s a roadtrip, definitely slow-burn, and as a bonus, the author switched it up and the W3 and Sif are Loki’s friends instead of Thor’s, which was interesting to see. 

Only the Broken Hearts (Make You Beautiful) by Grimmie_me. Yet another Thorki human AU. Thor and Loki aren’t related in this one. Loki’s had a very rough life and has had to turn to prostitution just to keep a roof over his head; meanwhile, Thor’s a wealthy doctor who gives his time to a free clinic. They meet when Loki is beaten up by a client and taken to Thor’s hospital. Lots and lots of feels, slow-burn, and angst (but with a happy ending). 

A Guy Could Do Worse by needleyecandy. And yet another Thorki Human AU. Thor and Loki aren’t related in this one, either. Thor and Loki meet on a business trip in Vegas and have a drunken one night stand, only to find themselves married the next day without remembering how it happened. Good character development, a nice little slow-burn, tension, and angst (with a happy ending). (You can assume all these angsty stories have a happy ending; I don’t read them if they don’t.) 

The Old Ways by Clarice Chiara Sorcha (claricechiarasorcha). Thorki pre-canon, but also kind of an AU. Loki and Thor get married on Vanaheim after Thor insults the Vanir. They’re bonded by an ancient spell that is supposed to bind them forever, even beyond death, but Loki and Thor do it because it doesn’t work on people too closely related in blood. Surprise, surprise, when they can’t undo the spell and Loki finds out he’s adopted. Excellent characterization, interesting premise, Odin actually being a decent (if deceiving) parent, and lots of feels and angst. 

The Sound of Breaking Ice by CatalenaMara. This one had so much angst and Loki whump that it simultaneously thrilled me and also made me deeply sad for Loki. A take on Loki’s sentencing, where Odin is unspeakably cruel and takes everything away from Loki, even his Aesir appearance. Loki is very unstable here, but there are a lot of good Thor and Loki feels as they find their way back to one another (eventual Thorki), Frigga being an awesome mom, and a happy ending (of course). 

Shelter by Rynfinity. Thorki human AU. Thor and Loki aren’t related in this one. Loki is a quiet writer with a lot of emotional baggage; Thor is the new guy who buys the old house Loki loves and fixes it up. Friendship and then more bloom, but it’s not without its obstacles. Everything by this author is wonderful and this was no exception. 

Heart’s Desire by Rynfinity. Thorki human AU, Thor and Loki aren’t related. Loki is the owner of a bookstore; Thor wanders in one day and is instantly smitten. This one was SO AMAZING to me because Loki is asexual, and it’s the first fic I’ve read where Loki (or any character) is portrayed this way. It deals really well with the topics of sexuality and how to handle it in a relationship when you’re asexual but not aromantic. So many of Loki’s experiences in his past relationships here are very similar to mine, and the relationship that Thor and Loki develop in this one is so lovely, like, the unattainable dream relationship for someone like me (don’t judge me). This one just really got me on a personal level, it was so well done. @rynfinity - I meant to leave a comment but I don’t think I actually did, but this fic was amazing jsyk. <3 

That’s it for now. Also, thank you to all of you who left me Thorki fic recs in my request post a few days ago, most of them are still on my Marked for Later list and I will get to them soon! 

Also, I don’t know these other authors’ tumblrs, but if you do, feel free to tag them! 

[queencvbra]

𝐒𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝟓 𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄

Okay here’s the basic notes / timeline for important things that happen in my main verse with things that I’m taking from s5 and how they play into that. This is completely subject to change, especially after discussion with other people involved and individual divergences based on different writing partners. It’s mostly an outline of how things go for Tory in my blog canon because she’s so divergent and it’s important to see where she’s coming from / how I’m writing her, and again, I’m still working everything out with all this new content. The timeline is also pretty loose, but it covers a larger span of time than s5 itself does because I cannot squeeze all of this development for Tory and her relationships with the people around her in 2-3 months lmao it’s been at least a little over a year most realistically with 9 months at the absolute minimum. Also there’s more stuff that happens than this but this is the stuff that gets referenced the most / is the most relevant to my portrayal across the board.

There are spoilers for s5 under the cut !!   Also trigger warnings for mentions of parental death and abuse by mentor figures, mentally and physically.

Tory’s still secretly going to Daniel for advice and some training throughout everything, the show can pry this from my cold dead hands.

Tory's mom died four months after the tournament. Processing that added to Tory’s struggle with doing anything about Cobra Kai and Silver cheating.

I’m keeping Kreese manipulating her in prison, and my Tory is currently at the point where she questions what she really meant to him and has been at that point for a while, so it fits. Also adds to why it took her so damn long to leave.

She still sent those anonymous letters to Daniel per Kreese’s instruction, even if she was getting closer to Daniel, she didn’t know how to tell him and wasn’t as trusting yet. She was still pretty firm under Kreese’s thumb and couldn’t go against his commands.

She did tell Robby about the tournament, I’m not changing that. He was the only one she told at first, that was months after the tournament when she couldn’t take keeping it to herself anymore and she actually felt safe enough with him to finally tell someone. Next person she told was Hawk a month or two later, when they were getting deeper into their whole sibling dynamic and he became someone she could trust, but it was after he kept calling her out for acting weird and obviously she swore both of them to secrecy about it because she was still figuring out what she wanted to do.

She also told Daniel eventually, not long before she left CK, but there was still not much anyone could do because at that point Silver had too much to use against her, including blackmail due to her trying to steal evidence from him and failing.

She did not, however, tell anyone what she was doing for Kreese, per s5.

Waterpark can stay, but Tory and Robby’s breakup happens later and is a lot more volatile, per how Cali and I wrote it.

Tory mentoring Devon can absolutely fucking stay hell YES besties.

Tory finds out that Bobby Brown is her father during this time and that Jeanny Brown is actually her half-sister. Getting along with Jeanny is easy because they were already pretty much besties and finding out they’re sisters just pushed them closer together. Her dealing with the news about having a dad and getting closer to Bobby is a little harder for her because she spent most of her life convincing herself her father was a faceless nobody who didn’t give a shit about her when really Bobby just didn’t know about her, now she has to undo all of that in her head and figure out what a relationship with a father should be like because she has absolutely no idea. It took her a couple of months to tell people outside of Daniel, Robby, Johnny, and Shannon because they were all the closest to the situation.

Hell Week™ happens and that’s the real tipping point for her in terms of her life completely spiraling out of control. In this span of time, she and Robby break up, the Vegas Incident happens and ruins her relationship with Hawk for a while, and (kt’s) Sam finds out about the tournament and calls her out for it, also effectively ruining the delicate friendship they’d been forming over the past couple of months. She runs away to Fresno but finally caves and tells Robby where she is so he can bring her home. Shit’s bad for Tory and Daniel is the one helping her work through a lot of that. For the next month Daniel was really the only thing keeping Tory from disappearing again. She makes up with Hawk after a pretty nasty sparring match that Tory tried to turn into a real fight, and things with (kt’s) Sam eventually start to get better after Sam is the one to comfort her when she finds her in a bad state not long after getting back to the Valley, though things are still touchy for them for a while and it takes time before they’re *sorta* friends again. It takes longer for her and Robby to make up.

When Daniel gets hurt, she is Fucking. Pissed. Her lashing out at Kreese is worse than in the show because she’s actually gotten close to Daniel in my canon. She blames herself for him getting hurt because of her sending those notes and giving him more reasons to act out against Silver (from her perspective).

Things keep getting worse for Tory in CK. Training is harder on her because now Silver knows she’s trying to undermine him, not because of Kreese, but because of her trying to steal evidence and her lashing out at him more lately and rebelling because of her frustration at everything. Everyone else in CK is starting to see it, and rumors are spreading fast about her being a traitor who secretly working with Miyagi-Do, because technically she is.

But no matter how bad things get for her, she still can’t leave yet, even though it gets to the point where she is being physically hurt/punished by her peers and sensei. At one point she got her head shoved into a locker by a Cobra and it gave her a concussion. It was pretty bad, Hawk and Sam had to come drive her home, and she even called Robby to ask him to come watch her to make sure she didn’t get worse despite the two not being on good terms then (but also really at that point she was at such a low and she just wanted him there). There was also an incident where Robby ended up in the hospital during this time and everyone hid it from her and she was pissed about that for a while. She starts focusing on her classes with Sensei Kim more during this time and less on her classes with Silver, largely out of avoidance. She also quit going to train with Daniel for a while because she felt like she was making things worse for everyone being around. This goes on for about a month.

Tory’s at her worst. She’s lashing out more and getting punished more for it, both directly and indirectly. The scene with Sensei Kim and the concrete dummy happens around now, exactly as it does in the show, including the taunting over Robby (because yeah he’s her weakness and it’s obvious) and Tory completely destroying her hand. The scene with Sam confronting her and bandaging her hand can stay, I love that moment. After all of that, her falling out with Kreese, and a talk with Robby, she decides to go back to Daniel and ask for help getting out of CK.

Finally, now with legal resources thanks to Daniel and after making herself more of a liability to Silver than an asset, Tory is able to leave Cobra Kai. Silver goads her into attacking him on her way out, putting her out of commission with a dislocated shoulder for a couple of weeks. But now she’s free.

Tory’s recovering. She’s learning and growing. She and Robby make up after he leaves CK too, but only as friends for now because Robby wants to work on himself first. Still, they’re pretty ride or die. (There are also a few “slip ups” before they eventually get back together because trying to keep them away from each other is like trying to pull apart industrial magnets lmao)

Daniel is her biggest supporter and the main reason she’s able to keep on with her recovery. He has become the equivalent of her very own Mr. Miyagi by now, always encouraging her and teaching her and giving her forgiveness even when she doesn’t think she’s worthy of it. He’s even given her the motivation to stay in therapy consistently, and she hasn’t missed an appointment because of him supporting her. The show can kiss my ass for not having them interact at all, he is so damn important to her. He’s a father figure to her beyond just a sensei.

She does have her moments of regression, where the Cobra in her comes out. Ironically, her “Cobra moments” are almost always directed at CK itself because of all the trauma she has surrounding that institution and the people in it. The worst moment that’s kind of a wake up call for her is when she convinces Hawk to come vandalize the outside of the CK dojos with her when she’s having a particularly low moment mentally and in retaliation some Cobras kick down the door of her apartment and put a dead snake in Brandon’s bed while she’s at work as a threat. She doesn’t feel safe in her apartment anymore (not like she ever really did thanks to her shithead landlord) and Daniel lets her move into the Miyagi-Do guest house. They build a spare room for Brandon, and the process helps her recovery in general, too.

She’s doing better after that. She’s managing her anger more and leaning more into de-escalation because she’s tired of fighting. Some shit goes down around her birthday, but she’s made a lot of progress personally by that point so she handles it a lot better and doesn’t let it ruin things. Ends up being her best birthday ever in spite of what happened, and it kinda affirms to her that yeah, she IS making progress.

She goes with Robby, Johnny, and Daniel to his tournament in Oregon (per Cali’s canon) to support Robby. They finally get back together that night and have been going strong since.

Things are going well for Tory and they stay that way for a while. She ended the school year with good grades (yes, even in math, which she hates), she got her lifeguard certification and took a summer job at the beach, and life is generally good for her for a while. But she still feels a lot of guilt about Cobra Kai, and about her secret. She feels like her win is what allowed it to grow the way it did and like she’s partially responsible for people being drawn in to that toxic place.

I’m still iffy on the timing here because this plot is currently in progress so this will get updated over time, but Tory decides to show up to Cobra Kai to expose Silver, even if the only evidence she has is her own word. She tells the Cobras about him cheating to win, but it doesn’t go how she expected. No one will listen to her because they see her as a traitor, backed up by all the things she did before and after leaving, and she ends up in a confrontation with allvalley’s Nina, who doesn’t take kindly to her trying to ruin the reputation of a man who’s been like a father to her. This leads to Tory ending up in the hospital. To be continued as things progress.

For it to work with everything else in terms of my portrayal, the final confrontation in s5 has to happen some time after Tory’s hospital stay, because the moment with her trying to expose Silver and not being believed is important. And it makes more sense that now more than ever she feels pressed to find evidence of Silver’s cheating and expose him, so that can play out as it does in s5, just at this point in time instead of after getting her hand hurt by Sensei Kim when she was still in CK. And it’s a great culmination, Tory finally going to the people she trusts for help because now she does have a group of people in her life to back her up, and I think that’s poetic in relation to her arc and how alone she’s felt all her life and means more considering everything that came before. She still has issues to work through, she’s stressed about her future, there’s bound to be drama with Sensei Kim still being around and Kreese faking his death to break out of prison and everything else that’s happened, but at least the Silver chapter is closed and she can put Cobra Kai behind her (for now).

Something I’m not sure where to place and really it’s not that big a deal with Tory: the mini tournament they did for the committee. Tory isn’t a participant and the only thing that actually mattered in the long run was her *lack* of participation. I have three main ideas for when this could happen: One, as it does in the show, she’s still with Cobra Kai and this is the reason she gets punished like she does. Two, right after she leaves CK because when she leaves she gets hurt by Silver and thus can’t compete. Three, right after this hospital plot I’m doing because she would also be out of commission and then could still be injured during the final confrontation. I’m leaning more towards the last one because I feel like it might work the best with everything, we’ll see. I’m not pressed about it lol I’ll just assume it happens whenever fits best per partner.

[desertgourd]

NAME:  Sabaku no Gaara

NICKNAME: Gaara of the Desert

GENDER: Male

ORIENTATION: wiggly hand motion - read more here

PREFERRED  PET  NAMES: None.

RELATIONSHIP  STATUS: Single.

FAVORITE  CANON  SHIP( S ): What’s canon?

FAVORITE  NON-CANON  SHIP( S ): Lee/Gaara, Deidara/Gaara in certain AUs (i.e. modern), Naruto/Gaara in certain contexts (since they’re doomed to fail). Open to others.  Please note I don’t differentiate between “top” or “bottom” and the order of the pairing makes no difference.

OPINION  ON  TRUE  LOVE:  See a full headcanon of Gaara’s perspective on love here. To put it in a few words: Gaara has lived nearly his entire life believing that love is something inherently tied with betrayal. Although he is slowly working through his decade and a half of severe psychological trauma borne of abuse and neglect telling him otherwise, Gaara is slowly realizing that love can take many forms, such as familial, platonic, or, yes, romantic. However, he struggles to comprehend how love can apply to him, and how he can express it to others. It is not something he has ever been taught to recognize. If a trusted person were to ask him, he would admit he does not think himself human enough to experience it.

OPINION  ON  LOVE  AT  FIRST SIGHT: Completely absurd. It is not possible to feel any genuine love merely due to a person’s appearance.

HOW  ‘ROMANTIC’  ARE  THEY:  Please see my headcanon on romantic affection here.

IDEAL  PHYSICAL  TRAITS: All physical traits he finds attractive are linked to personality traits that bequeath them. He is attracted to physical strength and prowess - those who keep both their bodies and souls healthy. He is attracted to a kind smile, confident movements, and gentleness.

IDEAL  PERSONALITY  TRAITS: As hinted above, Gaara prizes honesty, confidence, mental strength, flexibility, determination, and patience. He needs a partner who can help him develop and grow into a functional half of a relationship. He prizes kindness, but also sternness - someone who will not treat him like he is about to break, and someone who can withstand (and perhaps match) his inevitable stubbornness.

UNATTRACTIVE  PHYSICAL  TRAITS: Slovenliness, because this shows  a lack of self-respect and self-care. He tends to be less attracted to those who are markedly physically unfit, since he believes this shows a lack of work ethic and responsibility. Otherwise, emotional aspects are far more important than physical.

UNATTRACTIVE  PERSONALITY  TRAITS: Lying and deceit. Meekness. Weakness. Shyness. People who tiptoe around him; people afraid to speak their minds. Gaara cannot enter in a relationship with someone who expects him to make the first moves and do all the work; he simply does not have that capability.

IDEAL  DATE: Simple and intimate, and easily fit within his regular routine: Sharing a meal, or stargazing, or taking a walk along the village perimeter. Come visit him in his greenhouse so he can drone on for hours about his plants. Take him to the gardens or a park in Konoha he hasn’t visited before. He isn’t one for big displays of affection or surprises. You might be able to convince him to try a new food, if he trusts you.

DO  THEY  HAVE  A  TYPE: The traits described above pretty much fit his ‘type’ - you could say Lee and Naruto, both good relationship candidates, fall within the same type as well.

AVERAGE  RELATIONSHIP  LENGTH: Gaara has never entered a romantic relationship. However, once he chooses a person, he is unlikely to let go. Another betrayal via breakup would destroy him.

PREFERRED  NON-SEXUAL  INTIMACY: Physical intimacy is huge. Sitting or lying down together, hair stroking, massages, embraces, small touches on arms or backs. Just make sure he sees you coming.

COMMITMENT  LEVEL: Gaara mates for life. He is extremely slow to fall for someone, slower even to realize the feelings for what they are. He takes each step in a relationship almost bureaucratically, and once he has made a decision he is unwilling to change it. Any breaking of a relationship - death, breaking up, cheating - would crush him, and he would very likely never find love again.

OPINION  OF  PUBLIC  AFFECTION: Gaara will not shy away from small tokens of affection such as handholding or a kiss on the cheek, but he prefers anything more intimate to remain behind closed doors.

PAST  RELATIONSHIPS: Currently none. In my previous default portrayal he had entered in a long-term relationship with @urarenge‘s Lee in which they married after four years together and eventually adopted Baki’s infant daughter after her parents’ passing. After urarenge largely left that blog I reformed Gaara into my current canon default where he has had no relationship experience. In modern verse he had a long-term, on-and-off, and extremely dysfunctional relationship with a no-longer-active Deidara; I now portray him in that verse as having broken things off with Deidara in a messy, unfinished, and quite painful fashion.

tagged: @fadedmccn​, @deardeerdude​, and @ningxai​ alright yall you convinced me!

tagging: @spikyhairedsilhouette @licnsdenn @hyugainterior @icecurse @saligiare & whoever else wants to do it

[i-am-very-very-tired]

When Chelsea Horton started dating her now-husband, she was plagued by a relentless sense of doubt despite the fact that, by all accounts, things were going swimmingly. “It’s like my mind was looking for problems, obsessing over them, and then I would feel this sense of panic that I was doing something wrong,” she says. While she didn’t know it at the time, Horton’s nagging feelings were a classic sign of relationship OCD, a subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Kiyomi LaFleur had a similar experience with relationship doubts that felt “debilitating” when she and her husband fell out of their honeymoon phase — obsessing over where the feelings had gone and if he was “the one.” For six years, she had moments when she felt she could manage these obsessions, and moments when she had panic attacks and found it difficult to function day-to-day. When she graduated college and was faced with her thoughts head-on, she knew she had to seek help — something she had avoided for fear that she would be told to leave her partner.

Eventually, both Horton and LaFleur found out they were suffering from ROCD, and both went on to found coaching programs to help people like them — Healing Embodied for Horton, and Awaken Into Love for LaFleur.

So what is ROCD, exactly? “Relationship OCD is the obsessive preoccupation with the ‘rightness’ of a significant relationship,” says Davida Vaughn, education specialist, licensed professional counselor and director at NOCD. “This can be a preoccupation with the relationship itself or with perceived flaws of a significant other. A person with relationship OCD will feel anxiety, sadness, or distress when obsessions are present, and respond to those feelings with certain compulsive behaviors.” These compulsions are intended to alleviate the anxiety, but keep the person trapped in a cycle that leaves them feeling worse.

So, What’s The Difference Between ROCD & “Normal” Relationship Concerns?

Jazzmin Johnson was five years into her relationship when anxiety hit, and she sought out therapy — but when her therapist floated the idea that she might need to “find herself,” Johnson began to spiral. “A few hours later, I remember a thought popping into my head of ‘What if you do need to find yourself? What if you need to leave your boyfriend to find yourself?’” she says. Johnson didn’t want to leave her relationship, but she couldn’t shake the thought that she might have to. Doubt turned into obsession, which turned into a compulsive search for certainty, which in turn kept her stuck in the obsessive-compulsive cycle. Soon, Johnson’s therapist diagnosed her with OCD.

Everyone will experience relationship doubts at some point, but most people can either brush off a concern or decide to move on — without experiencing total emotional upheaval. “ROCD is present when one's distress pertaining to the relationship uncertainty is hurting the relationship and causing interference with the sufferer's wellbeing or social or occupational functioning,” says Elliot Kaminetzky, Ph.D., founder and licensed psychologist at My OCD Care.

ROCD is characterized by persistent, unwanted thoughts that “stick,” causing the person to turn them over and over in their mind, even if the thoughts are “exaggerated, unrealistic, or contradictory to their values or feelings about the relationship,” says Jenna Feldman, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist. “As a result, there is a strong urge to get rid of or neutralize the thoughts each time they occur.”

Jamie Walshner’s relationship obsessions included distressing thoughts like, “What if he's not the one?” and, “What if I don't love him at all?” In an attempt to neutralize these thoughts, Walshner fell into a series of compulsions, including “break-up urges, googling, checking feelings that weren't there, crying, and trying to search for answers for months on end.” Of course, none of this helped her actually find those answers.

Relationship OCD can happen in any partnership — regardless of how well it’s going. “Often people with ROCD are having doubts and concerns even in a relationship that is overall quite good,” says Michael Wheaton, Ph.D., assistant professor of psychology at Barnard College. “It is just that even in good relationships there will of course be disagreements, moments where you are not aligned, and times where your interests aren't exactly compatible.”

How ROCD Compares To OCD

ROCD is OCD. As such, it shares many of the features from other subtypes, and people with ROCD can often develop other forms of OCD as well. According to Dr. Wheaton, there may be a genetic component that makes someone more likely to develop OCD.

Significant relationship decisions — like getting married or moving in together — can trigger the onset of ROCD, and people with certain thinking styles are more prone to developing it, Dr. Feldman says. “People with ROCD often have a catastrophic fear of regret,” she says. She adds that perfectionism may play a role as well, and that “intolerance of uncertainty” is one of the most prominent characteristics of people with ROCD.

ROCD is typically treated in the same way as other subtypes of OCD, through therapy and sometimes SSRI medication. “In terms of therapy for OCD, exposure and response prevention (ERP) is considered the gold standard treatment,” Dr. Feldman says. ERP, consists of exposing the person to triggers — such as a video of a breakup, or a happy couple on Instagram — and guiding them in not resorting to compulsions. The purpose of this treatment is “to decrease the amount of anxiety triggered by obsessions and increase the person’s ability to tolerate anxiety.” If you suspect you have ROCD, you should seek out a therapist trained in ERP for a formal assessment.

ROCD differs from other types of OCD in terms of the misguided beliefs that often underlie it. Dr. Kaminetzky says many of his clients think of relationships in very black-and-white terms, feeling like they need to be “absolutely certain” about the relationship in order to fully invest in it, or that relationship quality is something fixed, rather than something fluid with cycles of ups and downs.

In her Awaken Into Love program, LaFleur refers to “Honey-wood” standards, or the idealized portrayal of love in Hollywood, which tends to be permanently rooted in the blissful honeymoon phase. For Johnson, the Eat Pray Love narrative fueled the idea she needed to leave her relationship to find herself, while others compare their relationships to those seen in The Notebook or Pretty Woman, for example.

Dealing With ROCD In Long-Term Relationships

ROCD is chronic, meaning that it can’t be “cured,” but it can be managed effectively — and you can still enjoy a harmonious, thriving relationship. And although ROCD can present in unsatisfying relationships that potentially aren’t a great fit, it’s worth noting that Horton, LaFleur, Johnson and Walshner are all still happily coupled up with their partners.

The experience of ROCD can be lonely, so finding a supportive community can help a lot, too — Walshner has built hers in part through Instagram, while Johnson created a YouTube channel and podcast. Both LaFleur and Horton moderate Facebook groups where their clients can support one another.

Johnson says her ROCD-related thoughts are much more fleeting these days thanks to therapy and SSRIs. “So much of my healing through ROCD has relied on learning about relationships as a whole,” she says. “The biggest takeaway I've [had] is that every single relationship looks completely different and is completely different. There is no comparison — with anything. Two unique people, one unique relationship.”

Experts:

Davida Vaughn, Ed.S., LPC, director at NOCD

Elliot Kaminetzky, Ph.D., founder and licensed psychologist at My OCD Care

Jenna Feldman, Psy.D., licensed clinical psychologist

Michael Wheaton, Ph.D., assistant professor of psychology at Barnard College

Kiyomi LaFleur, ROCD expert and founder of Awaken Into Love

Chelsea Horton, dance/movement therapist and founder of Healing Embodied

[bellabooks]

Lesbian, Gay and Queer Couples Have Relationship Issues that Don’t Have to Do with Being LGBQ—and TV is Finally Catching Up

Being in a long-term committed relationship takes a lot of hard work. So much so that over 50,000 marriage and family therapists in the U.S. make their living helping couples work on the hard stuff or dissolve their partnerships when necessary. While we are all intimately aware of the struggles straight couples face due to the overwhelming representation of their relationships on television, we have rarely seen the same intimate examination of lesbian, gay, and queer couples (except on Logo). That’s starting to change. We’re finally getting mainstream portrayals of LGQ couples who aren’t solely struggling with homophobia or coming out. Of course, coming out stories are important, but LGBQ+ viewers need other stories, too. We need to see lesbian, gay, and queer couples navigating all the relationship issues that come with being in a relationship. Sure, some of those issues will naturally vary when considering queer couples versus straight ones—being in a relationship that some parts of society are just barely warming up to (and others are wholly antagonistic toward) is different from being in a relationship that society valorizes over and over. Regardless of to what degree their experiences are formed by their sexualities, however, it is refreshing to see lesbian, gay, bisexual, and queer folks in relationships navigate everything from toothpaste cap level annoyances to irreconcilable differences level deal breakers. Here are five women loving women couples from television who have issues that don’t have to do directly with their sexual identity, though in some cases, understandably, how the issue affects the couples is deeply impacted by anti-LGBTQ+ sentiment. Women of color are woefully underrepresented on this list (and in general on TV, especially when queer), which is something we hope can be remedied to some degree in shows like Black Lightening and Queen Sugar which boast badass queer women of color, but whose relationships have yet to take a large role on screen. Valencia and Beth, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Up until the most recent season of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Valencia Perez was the sexual rival of Rebecca Bunch. The two had vied for the affections of Josh Chan, Valencia’s then boyfriend and Rebecca’s former camp boyfriend. Things took an uncomfortable turn when Rebecca found herself slightly obsessed with Valencia—she even kissed her before Valencia told her to back off. Thankfully, the show did away with the rivalry and attraction between the two women relatively early on and allowed them their friendship to develop more authentically. In season three, the show jumps eight months forward and we catch up with all our favorite characters in their new adventures. Valencia, we find, has fully launched her party planning business and the woman who was one of her first clients, Beth, is now her girlfriend. Beth laughs at Valencia’s jokes, a defining feature of their relationship, but more importantly, Beth pushes Valencia to be realistic in their now shared business—the main reason the two have conflict. Valencia wants to book A-list clients, but Beth wants her to take her small town and the clients there seriously. When Valencia nearly ruins a teenager’s birthday party by trying to make it too fancy, Beth reminds her not to be ashamed of her roots. They share a tense moment before Valencia realizes Beth is correct and softens. It’s a small conflict, but damn, it’s beautiful to see the two interact, disagree, and work through it, and it’s wonderful to see Valencia valued for who she is, even while being told she’s approaching something wrong.   Alex and Maggie, Supergirl Alex Danvers met her friend turned girlfriend turned fiancée Maggie Sawyer on the job. Alex, the tough as nails D.E.O. agent and sister to Supergirl herself, swooned when she met Maggie, the equally tough detective. Alex’s attraction to her is what eventually helped her come out of the closet, but at first Maggie didn’t want to be someone’s coming out girlfriend. Unlike many depictions of queer female romance, Alex and Maggie’s relationship is relatively low on melodrama and tragedy. They get to be just two women trying to figure out their love. The two fall fast and hard in love and when faced with the end of the world, they decide to get engaged. Like many couples who fall fast and hard, Alex and Maggie had a lot of learning to do after they had already made a big commitment to one another. When Alex and Maggie realize they have irreconcilable desires—Alex wants children; Maggie is adamantly opposed—they break up. The breakup deeply upset many fans, but the way it was managed was truly unique. Whatever fights occur between the two predominantly take place off-screen and instead viewers get to see a mature, grown-up breakup, with all the pain and mixed feelings and lingering desire. It’s hard not to be disappointed when ships you love break up, but Sanvers has unfortunately come to an end. Here’s hoping next season will allow Alex to better explore her identity and find someone who wants the same things.   Sara and Ava, Legends of Tomorrow Over in another corner of the Arrowverse, Sara Lance and her darling Ava Sharpe have more than their fair share of issues—not the least of which is the fact that Ava is a clone from the year 2231 and Sara is a bonafide time-traveling assassin-cum-superhero. Before they start dating, Sara and Ava clash over their different perspectives on how best to enforce time’s continuity. Ava thinks Sara and her team are brash, but it turns out that brashness is part of what attracts Ava to Sara. After a bit of rocky coming together, Ava and Sara debate the girlfriend title. Sara mentions a former friend who she slept with, John Constantine, and Ava finds herself jealous and possessive of her lover. When Sara is (literally) possessed by the death totem and nearly kills all of her friends, Ava is forced to team up with Constantine. At first this chagrins Ava, but she won’t be deterred in looking out for the woman she loves, and in reality, her team up with Constantine helps Ava appreciate Sara even more. The two end up splitting because Sara fears her connection to death and what it might mean for those around her, but at the end of the season when Sara and her team have to face the Big Bad, a time-traveling demon of course, Sara tells Ava that she still loves her. I can’t wait to see what these gorgeous powerhouses have in store in the future, but it’s good to know they’re still working it out.   Cheryl and Toni, Riverdale Cheryl Blossom is the definition of mean girl in season one of Riverdale, but she’s a complicated mean girl whose brother’s death and the mystery surrounding it dominate the show’s narrative for that season. In season two, we meet the cute, clever badass Toni Topaz, a Southside Serpent who is open about being bisexual. Toni and the rest of the Serpents are sent to Riverdale High when their school is closed and that’s when these spunky teenagers meet. At first, Cheryl and Toni seem like an unlikely couple. Cheryl has only expressed an attraction for another woman in an unhealthy obsession with Josie (of Pussycats fame). Toni is in a gang and Cheryl is a stereotypical poor little rich girl. Or so we think. It turns out Cheryl has been trying to come out and been forced back into the closet since she was very young. Honestly, a lot of the narrative about Cheryl and Toni is about their sexuality—from Cheryl coming out to Cheryl being sent to a conversion camp. However, I’d say that the bulk of the issues within their relationship, which have only been shown on screen in small snippets, have to do with Cheryl’s mental health, which is obviously tied to her experiences with heterosexism, and the tension around their friends accepting the two as a couple, not because they are two women, but because a lot of the teens at Riverdale High just straight up dislike Cheryl. Toward the end of season two, we start to see Cheryl really come into her own as an agent in her life, and all signs seem to indicate it’s only upward from here for this adorable couple.   Cameron and Rhea, Take My Wife In Take My Wife stand-up comics Cameron Esposito and Rhea Butcher build a life together on and off the stage. Perhaps the most intimate portrayal on this list, the show is truly unique. (I recently caught up with Cameron about the show for Bella Books Blog. Check out the interview.) It’s hard to outline what exact issues Cameron and Rhea experience in their relationship that don’t solely have to do with being queer because every single episode is jam-packed with all that comes with being in love with another human. But, that’s what makes the show so great! In the first season, we see Cameron and Rhea navigate the difficulties of different work schedules, having diverse class backgrounds, one partner earning more than the other, learning how to communicate, and deciding to make the leap to get married. In season two, our fearless couple have to figure out long-distance romance, touring together, sharing material without overlapping, planning a damn wedding, and issues with their families of origin. Conflict and relationship issues are the fabric of a show that simultaneously balances being sweet with tackling tough topics like sexism and homophobia. Their network may have shut down operations, but you can stream both seasons from a number of providers or on the Starz platforms. http://dlvr.it/QVTwN9

[videofeed]

Thor: What Went Wrong With Natalie Portman's Jane Foster, Natalie Portman Reacts To Being The Next Thor https://youtu.be/-KmLaZLANWY Natalie Portman stood for Jane Foster in the really initial 2Thorflicks before disappearing from the Marvel Cinematic Universe,so what unavoidably stopped working with the individuality?Fans were thrilled when theOscar-winningstarlet was cast in the feature, yet by the time she calmly left the MCU, no one showed up to care. AlthoughJane exposed promise inThor, her ability was never ever before identified in its comply with up,Thor: The Dark World. Despite the individuality’s cozy feature, there are get ready forPortman to make her successful return in Thor: Love as well as likewise Thunder, not similarly as Jane Foster, yet as the Goddess of Thunder herself. Introduced in Journey to Mystery #84 in 1962, Jane Foster began as a signed up nurse that operated near to Thor in his temporal kind as Dr. Donald Blake. She in the future became a medical professional as well. The 2 had an off-again-on-again love in the comics for several years, yet eventually, Jane became far more than a love interest rate. After Thor was pertained to not worthwhile to have Mjolnir, it was Jane that consumed the mantle - though it was instead time before her recognition was revealed. Jane's endure remodeling occurs as she is undergoing treatment for breast cancer cells. Sadly, her freshly discovered powers eliminate the radiation therapy from her system each time she becomes Thor, leaving her weak in the repercussions. This was an important part of the individuality’s journey in the comics, yet Thor: Love as well as likewise Thunder manager Taika Waititi doubtsif Jane's cancer cells story will absolutely make it right into the finished motion picture. So why didn’t things work out with Jane Foster to begin with? Portman’s astrophysicist was set to play an integral role in the Thor films, but vanished after a disappointing appearance in Thor: The Dark World. Waititi proved with Thor: Ragnarok that he could reinvigorate the God of Thunder’s flagging franchise, so there is definitely hope for Jane’s future in the MCU, butThor: Love and Thunderwill have to avoid many past mistakes. Natalie Portman is an undeniably fantastic actress. She proved this with her incredible debut inLéon: The Professional and has continued to do so ever since with unforgettable parts in films such as Closer, V for Vendetta,Black Swan, andJackie. All that said, no matter how good she may be, Portman still wasn’t done any favors by the scripts she was given for the Marvel movies. These issues weren’t quite soglaring in Thor when the astrophysicistappeared to be written as more than a mere love interest for the titular hero. Despite her constantly swooning over Thor, she was fascinated by more than just his godly appearance. He was proof of something she’d been working towards her entire career. While Thor: The Dark World did its best to incorporate Jane into the story, ultimately,she wassidelined. After about ten minutes of screen time, she absorbed the film’s McGuffin, the aether, which incapacitated her, drasticallyhindering herarc for therestof the movie. Jane may have become emblematic of the film’s larger issues, but she really did not actually causethem. The movie is regarded by most as one of theMCU’s worst entries and is certainly the weakest of the Thor franchise. Although Portman was underserved by Thor, the film wasn't a bad starting point for Jane, but thesequelreally did notgive Portman enough to do, nor didit render her in a way that was especially interesting, effectively wasting an actress as talented as Natalie Portman. While the initial attraction between Thor and Jane Foster was clear in Thor, the bond between them was never really developed enough to make for a particularly exciting reunion in Thor: The Dark World. They enjoyed their time together and all, but liking someone over the course of a few days isn’t generally enough to overcome the reality of dimensional barriers. Perhaps if Thor and Jane had spent time together between films or if the character had more than the barest of mentions in The Avengers, fans would’ve had an easier time buying into this relationship.Though the God of Thunder had a lot on his plate between the events of Thor and Thor: The Dark World, at least a mention of an offscreen reunion would have further developed the relationship. The MCU’s tie-in comicsalso failed to add much depth to the situation. The script wasn’t the only roadblock for this couple. When it comes to cinematic portrayals of romance, the way the characters are written often isn’t the deciding factor on whether or not a love story will be compelling. The relationship between Thor and Jane wasn’t fleshed out, and though both Hemsworth and Portman are immensely talented, there simply wasn’t enough chemistry between the actors to elevate the material. Perhaps if there had been more sparks flying on screen, audiences would’ve actually cared about their post-credits reunion in Thor: The Dark World - which Portman wasn’t even actually present for - or the revelation that their relationship had ended in Thor: Ragnarok. Thor did a far better job adapting the God of Thunder than Thor: The Dark World. The parts of the film that work best are the scenes set in Asgard or other fantastical locations, such as Jotunheim. These extraordinaryrealms truly came to life in Kenneth Branagh’s hands, and the directordeftly balanced that magic alongsideThor's fish-out-water comedy on Earth. Even with that in mind, a group of scientists on Earth can hardly compete with the Shakespearean drama of Asgard. Unfortunately, Alan Taylor struggled in the sequel to make either realm engaging, though the scenes on Earth were particularly bland. Although Jane Foster became the face of the Thor franchise’s issues on Earth, she was never really the core of the problem. Much of Thor: Ragnarok’s success hinged on throwing the blueprint of the previous Thor films out the window.For the most part, this meant leaving Earth behind,which left no real place for Jane or any of her friends - though Kat Dennings’ Darcy Lewis will soon return to the MCU in WandaVision. The Thor comics have proven that some of the God of Thunder’s most amazing adventures can unfold on Earth, so the fact that this was not reflected in the films can hardly be blamed on Jane Foster. By the time Jane Foster effectively vanished from the MCU, no one really seemed to care. Thor explained her disappearance with a throwaway line about their breakup Thor: Ragnarok, but seemed generally unmoved by her absence. Patty Jenkins coming onboard for Thor: The Dark Worldhad made the actress much more excited about filming the sequel, butPortman's feelings toward the Marvel movies soured significantly in the wake of Jenkins' departure from the film. As far asmany fans were concerned, Jane hadn’t proven vital to Thor’s story and if anything, had become more of a detriment to it. Even her brief Avengers: Endgame appearance was created using repurposed footage from Thor: The Dark World. Thankfully,thisdoesn’t have tosum up Jane’s legacy in the MCU. Marvel wouldn’t have brought Portman back into the fold if Waititi didn’t have someintriguing plans for her. Aside from that, it seems unlikely thatthe actresswould agree to come back unless she was given a substantially better duty in Thor: Love and Thunder. Although the comics have served as little more than inspiration for the majority of MCU movies, Jane’s comic run as the hero is quite solid. For her part, PortmanreadThe Mighty Thor in preparation for her upcoming look. Waititi has already injected fresh blood into the Thor franchise business, so there’s no reason to think he wouldn’t be able to do the same with Jane. While little can be done about the lack of chemistry between Hemsworth as well as Portman, giving Jane her own storyline will certainly go a long way in providing a strong argument for the character's return. Taking into account the strong source material, Portman's considerable talent, as well as Waititi’s track record, there is little need to worry whether or not the next Thor movie will certainly make factors right for Jane Foster. https://videofeed.tv/amazing-tv/got-talent-global/most-amazing-pole-dancers-around-the-world-on-got-talent-top-talent/

[listingmovies]

Top 5 verbal FIGHT scenes

Who doesn’t like a good fight scene ? You know, with some popcorn, watching your character get virtual slaps in his face and laughing your ass off... Nothing better. Come on, stop playing innocent. We all have that wicked interior self who loves watching people going at each other’s throats. Maybe it’s because fights are so unpleasant in real life, that it’s a relief to experience them on screen when you’re not part of them. However, dialogue-based fights are probably the hardest parts to write in a script. And when they’re really elaborate, it strengthens the credibility of your movie in no time. So let me tell you about some of my favorite fight scenes in movies.

5- Vicky Cristina Barcelona, Woody Allen (2008)

WEIRDEST

Two girlfriends, Vicky and Cristina, on a summer holiday in Spain become enamored with the same painter, Juan Antonio. Cristina eventually moves in with him, unaware that his ex-wife, Maria Elena, with whom he has a complicated relationship, is about to make her comeback. However, Scarlett Johannson’s character manages to welcome Maria Elena into their lives and they start having a three-way relationship. This scene is when she calls it off with them. Yea don’t feel weird, it really is the strangest situation ever. I mean, breaking up with someone is already hard. How about breaking up with two people? Oh boy. Weirdly enough (no it’s not weird actually, I love this guy), Allen manages to put in all the ingredients to make this scene a realistic one. We unconsciously feel that the fight is only stemming from a great attachment between the characters. The scene is a mix between frustration, incomprehension but also deep love, and that’s why the situation explodes into a fight. It’s a very interesting approach of the anger here, since the fight seems to be only superficial. Words are practically useless. They’re not strong enough to expose the characters’ feelings and that’s exactly why they say them. In order to hide behind their insecurities. Morality of the story: don’t have threesomes. Because I’m guessing a three-way is not that fun after all.

4- Huit Femmes, François Ozon (2002)

SEXIEST

At an isolated mansion in the snowy countryside of 1950s France, a family is gathered for the holiday season. But there will be no celebration because the beloved only man in the family has been murdered. The killer can only be one of the eight women closest to the man of the house. Tricky situations arise with the revelations of dark family secrets, through the suspenseful search of the murderess. Along with the different interactions between the characters, we witness a growing attraction between the victim’s wife and his sister. And while the build up of tension surrounds the eight women, Gaby and Pierrette try to resist the growing pressure they’re facing. But when they discover that they shared the same lover, they start fighting, until the fight becomes a kiss, pouring out the burning attraction, which they have been trying to ignore ever since they met. Now it’s a bit what the hell is happening moment. I mean one second they’re like tigers with heels, dresses and a gun and next thing you know they are kissing passionately on the floor. But I like surprises. I mean, seeing Fanny Ardant and Catherine Deneuve kiss? You don’t see that every day. Hmm...What if there was a plot twist to this ? Like here I am praising the scene and it turns out Ozon made it, only because sex sells. And since the only man in the house was killed, he had to improvise with the means at hand! I tell you, you never know with these directors!

3- The Family Stone, Thomas Bezucha (2005)

MOST AWKWARD

An uptight, conservative businesswoman accompanies her boyfriend to his eccentric and outgoing family's annual Christmas celebration and finds that she's a fish out of water in their free-spirited way of life. So when the awkward Meredith sits down for Christmas dinner with them, you can imagine she’s gonna drop some sort of bomb, given how obstructive she is. She starts asking questions about “the gay thing’’, knowing that one of her fiance's brothers is gay. And she starts babbling about sordid theories, getting confused, and manages to look racist in front of the whole family who gangs up on her. The scene is so awkward that you’ll actually feel embarrassed yourself, but it is also an expression of love, a portrayal of an raging tenderness, a glue of affection that holds this family together. The scene conceals throughout this fight a furious need within the characters: a need for love. And a need to defend one another against he who hurts them.   And then, they ask me why I don’t bring my boyfriend over for family dinner.

2-      Blue is the warmest color, Abdellatif Kechiche (2013)

MOST HEARTBREAKING

Adèle's life is changed when she meets Emma, a young woman with blue hair, who will allow her to discover desire and to assert herself as a woman and as an adult. The touching story of Adèle who is portrayed as a child trying to learn about life, discovering how it is to love, accepting herself for she is, and trying to go through life without hesitating, is an overview on the upturns and downturns of life. When Adèle gets confused after cheating on her girlfriend, we witness the most horrible movie breakup ever made. Adèle Exarchopoulos and Léa Seydoux offer us an intense and honest intimate interaction. They look so natural together that you can literally feel their pain is real. Their tears break our hearts and their anger is understandable, yet very disturbing and poignant. Compared to that, my breakups look like a day at the beach.

(I couldn’t find the scene anywhere, but that’ll teach you to watch good movies if you don’t know what I’m talking about.  No but really. You should watch it).

1-  Revolutionary Road, Sam Mendes (2008)

MOST REALISTIC

A young couple living in a Connecticut suburb during the mid-1950s struggle to come to terms with their personal problems while trying to raise their two children. It’s probably the movie that managed to explore a couple’s problem in the most sensible realistic way. The incredible chemistry between Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio’s performances probably helped a lot, but I spy, in addition to that, a deep development of the characters. The many fights in the movie are each more real than the other. The dialogues are scrupulously based on a brilliant characterization of each personality. In fact, Frank and April couldn’t be more opposite, and so here they are, nurturing a dubious relationship between each other, that bursts out in anger and frustration at every fight. The following scene articulates those feelings of bitterness and irritation with perfection. Also, may I mention that this movie made me abandon any marriage plans for myself forever. Except if it’s DiCaprio. I wouldn’t mind. Even if it’s for fighting. 

[kristentalksalot]

UnHappily Ever After: Unrelenting Tragedy in the On-Screen LGBT Couple

Abstract

        As the lives and stories of LGBTQ+ people have become more widely represented in the media, particularly through television and film, analyses of the impact of these representations in turn became more commonly explored. The shift of LGBTQ+ characters from a background position on screen as viewed through a heteronormative lens to a leading place in the forefront of films and television programs has allowed for deeper examination into the ways in which members of the LGBT community continue to exist under the dominant control of cis-gender heterosexuals. The dictation of societal norms and plot design by these dominant media producers has created a foundation of expectation for queer couples to fit into in order to gain the representation on screen. Queer individuals who do not easily exist among a heterosexually driven sphere are therefore erased from media history and only made visible again through LGBTQ+ controlled content. Outside of this queer space, however, mainstream media continues to box LGBT couples into only a small selection of endings.

        A contradiction presents itself in mainstream media as expectations on screen shame queer couples who aren’t monogamous while simultaneously preventing them from living out the same happy endings that are granted to the majority of straight couples on television (Bonello, 2010). Through my examination of select LGBTQ+ related films and television shows in America, I will analyze this tendency toward unhappy endings in terms of its connection to heterosexual and cisgender gazes on gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender relationships.

          What ideology or dominant thought might be causing this pattern of unhappy endings for LGBT characters? Is it intentional or subconscious? How do these subtle plot patterns contribute to the way we see LGBT couples in real life? Would a shift to happier ends in LGBT film and TV help the LGBTQ community or erase the struggles and realities of these relationships?

Method

         This research paper will mainly exist as an investigation into the driving forces behind the tendency for infidelity, breakup, and the generally tragedy-ridden plot points surrounding LGBT couples in popular television shows and film. The analysis of these media will focus on the larger events in the lives of LGBTQ+ couples over the course of the film or television series being examined and determine if the unhappy ending reveals more about the media messages being embedded than meets the eye.

      �� Media products will be analyzed in terms of stereotyping, bisexual erasure and “experimentation”, gay monogamy, and the developing shift of modern LGBTQ+ couples from the past stories of struggle. By breaking down the narrative structure of representations of queer couples on screen, dominant ideologies and biases will be less likely to creep into the future production of mainstream media.

Analysis

        As counterculture grows, media producers are forced to take public opinion into consideration during the creation of new content. For the LGBT community this meant breaking into the mainstream media to tell their own history. The Normal Heart (Ferguson, 2014), is one film which delves into the struggle of LGBT people during the rise of the AIDS epidemic through gay activist Ned Weeks and his relationship with Felix, a patient who later dies as a result of the AIDS virus. The themes of homophobia and discrimination during the AIDS crisis in America is a common topic in LGBT film. While these representations of LGBT people are important in order to subvert their position of oppression, it also begins to cause an association between LGBT characters and stories of tragedy and heartbreak. Recent years has brought a new representation of LGBTQ+ couples to the forefront. Queer couples who were once hidden behind heterosexual main characters and only included during episodes in which the main characters needed to learn importance of acceptance have slowly made their way to center stage, demanding the queer space that has been denied them in the past.  

        A pattern emerges when looking at films such as Brokeback Mountain (Ossana, 2005) and Boys Don’t Cry (Sharp, 1999) in which queer couples are not only closeted but eventually targeted and killed as a result of their sexual identities. Ennis and Jack’s forbidden love in Brokeback Mountain is the epitome of tragic love stories as both married men are forced to deny their love for one another. As both men return to their families, still closeted, Jack is discovered to be gay and becomes the target of a hate crime that takes his life. Adding insult to injury, Ennis only learns of his partner’s death by a returned letter marked “deceased” and is once more denied when Jack’s father refuses to allow Ennis to take Jack’s ashes to the mountain. The audience is then expected to relish the small comfort as Jack’s mother allows Ennis to keep some of Jack’s old shirts.

        A similar narrative occurs in the earlier film, Boys Don’t Cry as we follow Brandon Teena through his discovery of himself as a transgender man in a highly homophobic neighborhood. In order to remain undetected, Brandon must “pass” as a boy, presenting typically masculine qualities and gaining the trust of other boys. As Brandon falls in love with Lana Tisdel, the tragic love story begins. Brandon’s identity as male is challenged as his past begins to catch up to his new life. Although Lana and her brothers had no issue with Brandon initially, the discovery that Brandon was once Teena shifted their belief of Brandon to one of betrayal and fraud resulting in his rape and brutal murder at the hands of Lana’s brothers. Brandon’s death effectively silences the queer voice in the film, reinforcing the commonality of unhappy endings for LGBTQ+ couples who fail to align with heteronormative ideals (Love, 2007).

        Similar patterns present themselves in television shows in which LGBTQ+ couples share prominent air-time. Although the presence of LGBT couples at all is a plus side for the case of LGBT representation and television, the fact that these couples are subjected to often more negative plot lines than their heterosexual counterparts develops a commonality of LGBT couples to end badly or to require immensely more effort to sustain. Shameless (Wells, 2011) is one example of the changing portrayals of modern LGBT couples on television. The fan-favorite couple, Ian Gallagher and Mickey Milkovich, nicknamed “Gallavich”, have been a part of an on-and-off relationship for all seven seasons of Shameless. While the couple has had roughly the same air-time as characters Fiona Gallagher with her boyfriends and long term couple Kevin and Veronica Ball, the trials that Ian and Mickey must go through in order to try to remain together totals much more than any other couple combined.

        Over the course of the first four seasons alone, Mickey struggles with the abuses of his homophobic father versus his developing love for Ian, is forcibly raped by a sex worker at gunpoint by his father, is later forced to marry her when she gets pregnant, and is then beaten nearly to death after coming out to the neighborhood to prove his devotion to Ian. Ian, while more fortunate than his partner, must wrestle with the idea that Mickey may never be able to love him openly the way he wants, realizes his grades aren’t good enough to reach his dream of West Point Academy, enlists under his brother’s name and goes awol following the development of his bipolar disorder he inherited from his mother who abandoned him years ago. These leanings toward negative or harmful plot points for LGBT couples may stem from a more deep-rooted belief that those who are not cisgender and heterosexual have chosen a more difficult lifestyle. Hilton-Morrow and Battles (2015) discuss the dividing thought on sexuality as being either essentialist, where in a person’s sexual orientation is static and unchanging, or social constructionist which explores the idea that sexual orientation is a result of one’s social experience and influenced by a larger number of factors that all contribute to each person differently (p. 17).

        Love (2007), discusses this shifting belief surrounding LGBT couples in modern society from the formerly closeted and tragic stories to the new wave of LGBT people navigating relationships in similar ways to heterosexual couples. Although it does not explain the steady existence of tragic narratives in modern film and television as evident in Shameless, this may be true in cases such as Modern Family (Levitan & Lloyd, 2009), in which the comedy genre seems to supplement the seriousness of LGBT issues with humor. Cameron and partner Mitchell rarely mention issues pertaining to their sexuality and instead exist as just another upper middle class family experiencing the classic situational comedy drama. In one instance, the couple is on a flight from Vietnam with their newly adopted baby who is eating a cream puff. When another passenger comments, “look at that baby with those cream puffs,” Mitchell stands up and defensively argues their right to adopt as gay parents. While this moment provides humor over the misunderstanding on the flight, it also suggests that gay parents and gay couples in general no longer have to deal with the stereotyping of the past. In reality, many LGBTQ+ characters are expected to play into the stereotypes of their sexualities which define the arcs their characters will take in the program or film (Löf, C., 2016, p. 11).  

        The majority of films and television shows I have found in which LGBT couples are happy and prospering also happen to be comedy driven. But I’m A Cheerleader (Creel, 1999) explores homophobia through a fairytale structure as cheerleader Megan is sent to a gay conversion camp when her parents begin to suspect her of being a lesbian. The formerly straight Megan begins to fall in love with camp member, Graham, and then declares herself a lesbian. As the film progresses through comedic romance scenes, Megan joins other camp members determined to break out. Graham, however, too afraid of leaving, stays behind and waits while Megan plans a way to rescue all of the gay campers from their metaphorical cages. In the end, Megan saves Graham and the two girls manage to convince their parents of their love, living happily ever after. Movies such as this one seem to use comedy as a way to lull heterosexual audiences into enjoying LGBTQ+ messages. While drama requires viewers to take a serious look into the power dynamics of LGBT couples in a heterosexually dominant world, comedy invites the audience to laugh along with the queer characters whose issues become humorous exaggerations.

        But I’m A Cheerleader is not the only example of bisexual erasure on screen as both of Alyson Hannigan’s prominent roles on television have committed the same erasures. While Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Whedon, 1997) made strides toward equal representation by showing the first lesbian sex scene on television between characters Willow and Tara, they fail to acknowledge Willow’s identity as bisexual. Willow’s former relationship with boyfriend, Oz doesn’t exist as evidence of her bisexuality when she later begins a relationship with Tara but instead seems to draw a line between past Willow who simply hadn’t discovered her sexuality and future Willow who finally could admit she was a lesbian (Diamond, 2005). In an even more subtle manner on How I Met Your Mother (Bays, 2005), Alyson’s character, Lily, is constantly making sexual comments and longing after her female friend, Robin. Although commenting in one episode that, “a woman’s sexuality is a moving target”, Lily never vocalizes her sexuality and even goes as far as kissing Robin under the guise of it being the only way to wake up their uber-masculine friend, Barney. The word “bisexual” over the course of 9 seasons of How I Met Your Mother and 8 seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the word “bisexual” is never used despite the explicit presence of bisexuality in its main characters.

Conclusion

        The dominant ideology that stems from the ideals of straight, white, men, dictates that true happiness is only achieved by those who deserve it: straight, white couples. While this idea has slowly shifted over the years, remnants still remains in the ways media producers imagine the lives of LGBTQ+ couples on screen. If heterosexual, cisgender couples are the norm, any other partnership therefore becomes lesser, categorized by stereotyping to make them more palatable for heteronormative audiences and perpetuating the cycle of unhappy endings for queer relationships. Although these patterns may very well be subconscious creations caused by the dominance of the media for so long by the male gaze and heteronormative lens, the repetitive nature of these plot lines show the need for reconstruction of popular thought. Instead of sympathizing with coming out stories of young queer people and opening our eyes to the tragedies of homophobia and crimes against trans people, the constant stream of struggling LGBT couples creates the belief that couples in real life stand a very slim chance of lasting.

        Through this analysis of these films and television shows, it seems as though the likelihood of happier scenes depends upon the genre of program and film as well as the distance of the couple from heteronormative ideals on the scale of heterosexual to homosexual. The comedy genre and rich, white status presented in Modern Family allow Mitchell and Cameron to achieve their happiness, while the transgender identity of Brandon Teena and the intersectional identity of Poussey Washington (Orange is the New Black) as a black woman and lesbian, lead to their deaths. However, this pattern of unhappy characterizations of LGBT couples does not provide a clear rule for the creation of future media products. Neither extreme appears to be the solution to the current climate for LGBT relationships on screen. Instead, I propose future media to look more carefully at the realism of their relationships between LGBT characters and to respect the struggle of the LGBTQ+ community while also allowing the queer space to dictate how their relationships should play out to reflect the variety of couples in the real world.

*Accompanying media text: click here 

Sources

Bays, C. (Producer). (2005). How I Met Your Mother [Television Show]. Los Angeles, CA: 20th Century Fox Television.

Bonello, K. & Cross, M. C. (2009). Gay Monogamy: “I Love You But I Can’t Have Sex With Only You. Journal of Homosexuality. 57(1): 117-139.

Creel, L. (Producer), & Babbit, J. (Director). (1999). But I’m A Cheerleader [Motion Picture]. United States: Lionsgate.

Diamond, L. M. (2005). ‘I’m Straight, But I Kissed A Girl’: The Trouble with American Representations of Female-Female Sexuality. Feminism & Psychology. 15(1): 104-110.

Ferguson, S. (Producer), & Murphy, R. (Director). (2014). The Normal Heart [Motion Picture]. United States: HBO Films.

Hilton-Morrow, W. & Battles, K. (2015). Sexual Identities and the Media. New York: Routledge, 16-17.

Kohan, J. (Producer). (2013). Orange is the New Black [Television Show]. New York, NY: Lionsgate Television.

Levitan, S. (Producer)., & Lloyd, C. (Producer). (2009 -). Modern Family [Television Show]. Los Angeles, CA: Lloyd-Levitan Productions.

Lof, C. (2016). “Love is ours only in death”: An analysis of how lesbian and bisexual relationships are stereotyped on western television shows through the use of tropes. Sweden: University West, 1-69.

Love, H. (2007). Compulsory happiness and queer existence. New Formations. 63(1), 52+.

Ossana, D. (Producer)., & Lee, A. (Director). (2005). Brokeback Mountain [Motion Picture]. United States: Focus Features.

Sharp, J. (Producer)., & Peirce, K. (Director). (1999). Boys Don’t Cry [Motion Picture]. United States: Fox Searchlight Pictures.

Wells, J. (Producer). (2011). Shameless [Television Show]. Los Angeles, CA: Warner Brothers Studios.

Whedon, J. (Producer). (1997). Buffy the Vampire Slayer [Television Show]. Los Angeles, CA: 20th Century Fox Television.

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Writing romance

I don’t know how many of you know this, but I’m an avid reader and writer. It’s incredibly important to write realistic romance to keep your story interesting, believable and relatable. 

While trying to avoid cliches, many people struggle in the romance aspect of it. Even in prominent society and media, there are so many unrealistic and even unhealthy portrayals of love that appear in movies, books, shows, online, in the news, etc. It can be detrimental to the psyche as we turn to these examples as truth. 

So how do you avoid cliches and keep it realistic?

1. Personal experience: This past year, I went through a breakup and started a new relationship. My boyfriend and I are still dealing with many difficult things and that’s how life really is. In fact, I don’t remember going even a week this last year without having some sort of mini crisis with family or friends (thanks 2016). But while I was writing, I found that my personal experience reflected in almost every single character and I viewed the story in a new light. I allowed the romantic relationship in the novel to develop as I developed and I used the lessons I learned to show character depth and to strengthen the relationships.

2. Keep it healthy: Okay, so maybe personal experience isn’t healthy. Maybe all you know about love is unhealthy due to your own experience or observing others around you. Healthy relationships don’t have to be boring or “vanilla.” They can be passionate and breathtaking and overwhelming. Or they can be safe, comforting and even awkward. Featuring unhealthy relationships (which can be characterized by ANY type of abuse, manipulation, bad intentions, no communication, etc) can be risky, but I suppose you could show the growth of a character as they move on from a bad relationship to improve themselves or the pairing. Look at Buffy and Spike, for example. (WARNING: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER SPOILERS) When Buffy was in a dark place, she used Spike for physical intimacy while cutting off any emotional attachment. Eventually, she realized it was just hurting the both of them and she broke it off. Spike did some bad things (NO I do not condone what he did to Buffy) but then he got a soul to improve himself, Buffy tried to be happier and she began to mend her ties with loved ones, and they eventually picked up a bit of the romance arc again. Their relationship was incredibly unhealthy and depressing until they ended it and learned important life lessons. 

3. Allow relationship development: Every relationship changes and evolves as the people in them do. That’s life and that’s good. At the start of a relationship, they call it the “honeymoon phase” because love comes as a feeling and you can’t get enough of each other (this isn’t always the case, but it is in my personal experience). However, the honeymoon phase wears off eventually and it can feel weird to suddenly not have the feeling of love. At this point, love becomes something you work towards constantly and it’s a choice both partners must make. No relationship is perfect; everyone needs to experience frustration and pain and even heartbreak. Let your characters fight, let them love, let them feel pain. That’s normal and healthy. 

4. Allow character development: The main reason relationships change is the fact that people change. Naturally or due to circumstances, we all grow and learn and it reflects in our personal lives. Once upon a time, I relied on someone else to feel secure and happy, but that crashed and burned when I realized I couldn’t center my life around one person. That’s unfair and unhealthy. I learned this lesson and I developed independence in order to form stronger bonds with others and even help my own issues. A good example of character development is the Bellamy and Clarke dynamic in the 100 show. While Bellarke isn’t (YET) canon, their relationship began as strained and barely tolerant of one another. Then, as circumstances and time changed them and allowed them to grow and adapt to the new environment, their dual leadership brought them closer and they rely on each other. They needed to mature, learn how to coexist as leaders and then they began to care for one another (even if it’s not romantic to you, it’s canon that they need each other and have a deep friendship).

5. Don’t forget other relationships: It’s important to work on ties with other people and not just your character’s love interest. Yes, having a significant other can and will take up a lot of time and attention, but don’t forget about your character’s bonds with family, friends, enemies, etc. Allow those relationships to grow as well.

Those are all the tips I have for now, but feel free to message me more:) Keep writing and don’t be afraid of criticism! xo

[datingadviceonreddit]

I have wanted to make a post like this for some time now. I was just not sure in which sub it would make more sense. This topic could easily be in the self-improvement sub, seduction sub, relationship advice and codependency subs that I frequent. However, after some serious thinking I believe that this is the best place to start.Before I share this information, I want to let you all know a little about myself. I came from a very difficult upbringing. Growing up I was a victim of verbal, physical and emotional abuse by both parents. Although I had both parents for most of my life, I was emotionally abandoned by them. I was basically raised by TV and movies. The neighborhoods that I grew up in where also some of the toughest in Los Angeles. I saw routine acts of violence almost daily. It was because of this upbringing that I developed what is known as an Anxious Avoidant Attachment style. Another consequence of this upbringing was believing that all of this was normal.Keeping it short, I had a hard time connecting with people. Many people would describe me as a quite introvert. Aloof is another common word use to describe me. I felt far more comfortable being by myself than being surrounded by others. For those familiar with the personality types, I am INTJ or C in the case of Myers-Briggss. As a kid, much of my lunch time was spent reading books and doing things that did not require interactions with others. When I met people, I could easily identify their physical and personality flaws. It was through this process that I could disconnect in case we had a falling out. It was because of my upbringing, attachment style and Hollywood’s portrayal of romantic love that I was attracted to woman with an anxious attachment style.When I met my wife, it was love at first sight. She literally moved in slow motion for me. I thought she was the most beautiful girl I had seen and one that I wanted to take care of for the rest of my life. I would certainly treat her much better than what I saw my dad doing with my mom. Due to outside pressures, we ended up moving in together within just a couple months of knowing each other. A couple months later she was pregnant with our son. Our daughter was born two years after that.My wife never knew her father growing up and her mother abandoned her with her grandparents. At a very young age, her grandmother died and this only affected her abandonment issues more. It was these incidents that caused her to have an anxious attachment style.In the end, we had an 18 year toxic relationship. Many of our issues started within the first six months. The relationship basically lasted as long as it did because I was using my own parents as a reference. To me it was normal for people to constantly fight and to a certain extent be miserable in their relationship. She was not "the one" for me and even though I resented her, I would never leave because my dad never left either. For her, it was just a matter of time before I would get tired and eventually leave. Of course, neither one of our beliefs were accurate. We just brought in our own individual issues/trauma into the marriage and blamed our failure to feel happy or whole on one another.As my marriage ended, it was through therapy and research that I determined that we had what is known as a codependent relationship. One that typically occurs when an avoidant and anxious person get together. I wont get too much into it but for those that are interested, the book Codependant No More provides some amazing information on the topic.Your adult attachment style determines who you are magnetically pushed towards in life. For example, it’s very common for someone with an anxious attachment style to be attracted/pulled to someone that is avoidant even though this is a potentially toxic mix. Your attachment style can also result in a preferred love language i.e. someone that is anxious may have quality time and touch higher rated than someone that is avoidant.If an anxious attachment style dates someone that is secure, they don’t feel excitement. They may even describe the person as being boring or lacking passion/chemistry. The reason being that the anxious person needs the constant ups and downs, push pulls in the relationship for it to feel familiar. It’s to a certain extent what they felt with their parents growing up.As you can imagine, this topic is very complicated but one that I feel everyone needs to learn about in order to succeed in their relationships. As such, I recommend the following books. Depending on where you are in life, you may focus on a specific section.​Mental Wellbeing (Before you Date): These books are focused on overall mental well-being. They helped me to understand my past and accept my flaws and to learn to let things go. You are not the sum of your past experiences. Stop listening to the voice in your head and work towards change.Beyond Anger: A Guide for Men: How to Free Yourself from the Grip of AngerThe Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You AreThe Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond YourselfThe Power of NowWherever You Go There You AreMan’s Search for Meaning​General Relationship Maintenance (When Dating): The books below provide a good outline of what is needed to have a relationship continue to flourish and grow. These are in my opinion a must read for both men and woman and provide such great insight that will have you looking at relationships with brand new eyes.Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - and Keep – LoveThe 5 Love Languages for Men: Tools for Making a Good Relationship GreatThe Five Languages of Apology She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a WomanThe Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship ExpertMen Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite SexLove Me, Don’t Leave Me: Overcoming Fear of Abandonment and Building Lasting, Loving RelationshipsHis Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof MarriageCome as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life​Relationship Trials: The books in this section will guide you through trials and tribulations that may occur within the relationship. While Hollywood and media tell you that relationship should not require work, this thinking is completely wrong in my opinion. You must put in work for them to grow as shown the General Relationship Maintenance. You must even put more work to help them succeed and overcome when it comes to the real tests of the relationship. Just as important, its knowing when it is time to cut your losses.Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for YourselfOne More Try: What to Do When Your Marriage Is Falling ApartRelationship How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair: A Compact Manual for the UnfaithfulNot 'Just Friends': Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After InfidelityAfter the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been UnfaithfulWhy Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling MenThe Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop AbusingThe Journey from Abandonment to Healing: Surviving Through and Recovering from the Five Stages That Accompany the Loss of LoveVictory Over Verbal Abuse: A Healing Guide to Renewing Your Spirit and Reclaiming Your LifeGetting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever TheHappened to You.No Contact Rule via /r/dating_advice

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Harry Styles' Ex Nadine Leopold Details Harassment While Dating Him

Harry Styles' Ex Nadine Leopold Details Harassment While Dating Him

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Harry Styles’ Ex Nadine Leopold Details Harassment While Dating Him, New Hollywood Celebrities Coming Out.

Celebrity News 2018, Hollywood Celebrity News 2018, Harry Styles’ Ex Nadine Leopold Details Harassment While Dating Him.

List Of 2018 Hollywood Films Latest Celebrity News And Ratings latest Cartoon Network Studios is an American animation studio based in Burbank, California. It is owned by Cartoon Network and Turner Broadcasting System, which are both subsidiaries of Time Warner.

Who was Roy to Walt Hollywood?

Roy O. Hollywood. Roy Oliver Hollywood (June 24, 1893 – December 20, 1971) was an American businessman, becoming the partner and co-founder, along with his younger brother Walt Hollywood, of Walt Hollywood Productions, since renamed The Walt Hollywood Company.

What does Mulan’s name mean?

In the original poem, the heroine’s name is “Mulan.” According to the Chinese- English dictionary, the name means “lily magnolia.” Mulan is often given a last name, “Hua,” which means “flower.” The Chinese pinyin spelling of the name is “Hua Mu-Lan.”

Who is the president of Hollywoodland?

With Meg’s transition complete, George A. Kalogridis is named president of the Walt Hollywood World Resort, and Michael Colglazier is named president of the Hollywoodland Resort.

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Model Nadine Leopold just got REAL about what it was like dating Harry Styles, and let’s just say she was on the receiving end of MANY death threats.

If you thought it was easy dating Harry Styles, think again.

Okay, y’all! As if you don’t already know, Harry Styles is a HUGE heartthrob. And, while many people would LOVE to date him, only a few have actually been lucky enough to hold the title of Harry Styles’ girlfriend in real life.

Among the lucky ladies who HAVE been able to say they’ve dated Harry IRL is model Nadine Leopold, and even though you may think that she’s super lucky to have dated him at all, you should probably think again because she received a TON of hate over the short relationship.

That’s right, fam! As soon as rumors began spreading that Harry and Nadine were even an item at all, crazed fans came out of the woodwork to send nasty death threats her way, and eventually, they took a toll on her and her relationship.

In an episode of E!’s Model Squad, Nadine said, QUOTE, “When you date someone who’s in the industry or in entertainment, it’s like, they have like all the little fans following you and you get like death threats.”

Then, when model Devon Windsor revealed that Nadine dated Harry for a hot minute, Nadine elaborated, saying, QUOTE, “I got like pictures sent to my apartment with my face crossed out and it kind of like affects your whole relationship because you think about that and you’re worried.”

Not gonna lie… we totally understand where she’s coming from. We just hope these death threats weren’t the cause of their breakup back in 2015!

Anyways, what do you guys think about all the hate Nadine got while dating Harry? As always, let us know all of your thoughts in the comments section below. Thanks for watching! Please click to the right to watch another new video and don’t forget to subscribe to our channels. I’m your host Ava Gordy and I’ll see you next time.

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Hollywood has been criticized for its influence over children in that it endeavours to appeal to children at a young age and develop their views and interests according to Hollywood’s portrayal of major themes as well as prepare children to become early consumers of their brand. New Hollywood Celebrities Coming Out, Harry Styles’ Ex Nadine Leopold Details Harassment While Dating Him.

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