#the poorest wettest meow meow

[silverbirching]

Let's take a moment to talk about Armand, the coven master, the ancient one, the poorest wettest meow-meow, Our Lady of the Performative Victimhood.

I feel like Armand, if you encountered him as a human, would be one of those people you meet on occasion who have no strong sense of self, no center to their identity. You know, the person who smoked one joint in College and the next day was shopping for Bob Marley posters. The person who went all-in on in-groups. The person you'd dread getting a DM from because you know they're going to talk your ear off about their latest Thing, which could be Keto or Crossfit or Xenu or whatever. One of those poor sad bastards for whom the center cannot hold, for whom social signifiers and performative belonging do not cohere into anything. An echo at a higher pitch. The room always feels a little emptier when they're in it.

But of course, Armand is a vampire. And that means that whatever damage he had as a human is going to be magnified, exacerbated, turned into overdrive by the potent cocktail of superpowers, eternal life, and constant murder.

In The Vampire Lestat, Lestat at one point describes Armand--in the context of a scene in which he explains why he, Lestat, could never possibly love Armand in the way Armand is demanding to be loved--as "the embodiment of thirst itself." That's the trick. Lestat, for whatever his faults, feels things very passionately. Armand...

Armand feels nothing. Armand has an itch where feelings used to be, and he tries various things to try and scratch that itch. It's like the phantom signals from a missing limb. Being the coven master, the director, Lestat's lover, Louis' lover--all of these are the meaningless sparks of Cerenkov radiation that spit out of the ever-sucking void that lurks behind Armand's soft voice, his sweet face, his gentle, saintly sadness.

To be Beloved is his latest hobby. Perhaps next we'll want to try being Bereaved; he'll hold that up to the mirror to see if it matches his eyes.

Also, just as a side note, but Armand's perpetual label amongst the Undead in the books is that he "looks like a Botticelli angel"--Armand himself even makes a joke (I mean, sorta. Anne Rice tended to treat Humor the way British restaurants treat ice cubes) about it in his book. Would you LOOK at this guy.

The natural curls, the almond-shaped eyes that are a little too far apart, the cupid's-bow lips; like Botticelli's subjects, he looks dreamy, disassociated, perhaps a little sad. GOD the casting in this show is stupidly good.

In conclusion, any Anne Rice fans who bitch about Assad Zaman not being a redhead are both stupid and probably also racists. Good night!

[kittykatninja321]

Bro has been Going Through It across multiple universes in the past month in comics can he get a break 😩

[doks-aux]

Felix doodles by @inkdrawndreams, who was very patient every time my answer to "Do you have any requests?" was this wet rabbit.

Featuring various bunny situations and pining over milkshakes.

[antidiluvianobservatory]

As fun as the Dr Malpractice memes are, let this be a reminder that Jack is a good man and good doctor and that this was a moment of weakness that he immediately regrets. He was hurting, probably angry too even if he won't admit it, due to Lucy's rejection and subjected one of his patients to more stress than he would have in a better frame of mind.

With that out of the way, JACK, ME NEXT STUDY ME PLEASE 🥰

[thespacelizard]

Vizaeth visits the surface and learns a few things about fear and faith.

—

The nearer they get to the surface, the worse Vizaeth feels. It starts as a nervous nausea behind lips pressed tight and silent and, as they rise through the depths, out of Her perfect darkness and sheltering stone, it spreads until it turns his limbs numb, disconnects his skin, stutters his heart. The moment he sights the cavemouth, he stops dead.

“No.”

He tries to declare it, but it comes out barely a whisper. The others move past him, and Master Do'Urden goes right up to the edge, where the light—the light, oh Lolth, the light—actually touches him.

Beyond that threshold lies the surface. Nothing above, all that’s sacred below, crawling with faeries and iblith—he can’t go out there, he’s not meant to go out there, none of them are meant to go out there. He takes a step back, then another and another; he has to get away from that silver glow, so bright it burns.

Master Zaurett’s cold hand lands on his shoulder.

“Not thinking of running out on us are you, apprentice Thaezyr?”

“We shouldn’t be here,” Vizaeth says. “This is heresy.”

“Do you call every raid heresy, too?”

Vizaeth shakes his head, digging his nails into his palms. That’s not the same. “I won’t go out there. I can’t.”

“You can and you will.” Zaurett takes his wrists, forcing him to unclench his fists. His hands are shaking. “You earned your place in this class—have you forgotten I was there to ensure you kept it? You will not let petty fear remove you from it now.”

He’s not afraid, he’s faithful. It’s insanity that none of the others feel this, that none of them are devout enough to know when they’re straying to places She doesn’t want them to go. Zaurett clasps his hands, stilling them.

“We do not fall to fear,” he says, and his onyx rings glow black as a quiet pulse of necromantic energy thumps from his fingertips. Vizaeth’s still-tangled Weave catches at it eagerly and he takes a sharp breath. “We command it.”

Keep reading on AO3

[menlove]

you would reblog only one out of seven of the midnight mass episode gifsets and it being the one with the most hamish linklater in it (affectionate)

LMAOOOO LISTEN IT CAME UP ON MY DASH AND I JUST WANNA STUDY HIM LIKE A BUG......

[fagmegumi]

ten people have voted and im the ONLY one who voted for roman jsjdsjxkkddk

[binch-i-might-be]

same anon also says congrats that gwash is on outlander <33 anon knows ray will enjoy it bery much <33

thank you I love finding my silly men in the wild <333 Martha was also there and she was acceptably smol!

[merrilark]

Playing SA2:B again now that I'm older and noticing the importance of character placement and better seeing Shadow's development over the course of the game.

In all of their cutscenes, Shadow is continuously placed above Sonic, physically, symbolizing that Shadow believes he is the Ultimate Lifeform and better than Sonic. This continues until their final stages aboard the ARK, where instead of Shadow being standing above Sonic, they're running side-by-side, signifying that Shadow now respects Sonic and realizes they're on much more equal ground than he realized. Then there's the final battle where he goes as far to admitting that he believes the Ultimate Lifeform may be Sonic after all, not him, and!! I love the visual growth of their friendship, of Shadow being humbled by Sonic's skill and innate compassion for everyone regardless of who they are.

Don't get me wrong, I love their rivalry and I think Shadow's often brash, single-minded nature is fun and interesting in how it simultaneously highlights how similar and different he and Sonic are... but we really lost something post-Adventure 2 in his development.

I miss OG Shadow. He was good. He was sooo good.

[eruscreaminginthedistance]

God it feels bizarre to me going into Act 3 with everyone in town begging Hawke to get involved in the city conflicts considering that the end of Act 2 is so bleak.

Mum’s dead, got bodied by the Arishok in front of everyone, outed as a mage just as all these templars start coming out of the woodwork, even Bodahn’s up and abandoning him; literally everyone he’s been trying to advance for and be the Scion of the House for is gone this man is Not in the right headspace to be making any decisions.

If anything he’d turn up to that Act 3 conflict in the town square already winedrunk from Fenris’s house just to scoff and roll his eyes and flip the bird to Elthina cos who’s going to scold him for being an ass? His mum? You want to elect that guy mayor? aight

[stimmingandstruggling]

sick of people “alpha”ing blade. he’s the poorest wettest little meow meow. he’s an elderly dog who does that sad dog sigh and looks mournfully out the window. he asks kafka if he can leave after he’s fulfilled his socializing quota. he’s an old autistic man with severe depression. yes he kills people yes he has mara induced bloodlust and mania but also he probably naps on the couch with his arms crossed. he probably never sends anything in the stellaron hunters group chat but he likes to be included anyways. do you understand

[handwrittenhello]

Tumblr's Poorest Little Meow Meow

A poor little meow meow, by definition, must have three traits: soppingly wetly pathetic, squishy scrungly cute (or a similar attribute), and morally ambiguous. YOU will be voting for characters to win the title of

Poorest Wettest Saddest Littlest Meow Meow!

Character nominations were limited to one character per fandom and were crowdsourced.* Match-ups were made on a seeded basis according to character popularity, in the hopes of preventing a popularity contest from happening. Remember, it doesn't matter if they're your blorbo, we're trying to find the SADDEST and MOST ATROCIOUS little meow meow. Please evaluate how well they fill the attributes of a PLMM when you vote!

*If your poorest little meow meow didn't make the cut, sorry! Maybe we'll hold another round.

Polls will be held daily at noon EST. Here's the bracket. It's not fancy; nothing about this will be fancy. (These polls are just as pathetic as the characters they represent.)

All posts will be tagged #tumblr's plmm contest

Check below for a list of all poll posts:

Round One (Feb 3 noon EST)

Loki Laufeyson (Marvel) vs. Jiang Cheng (The Untamed) Prince Zuko (Avatar: The Last Airbender) vs. L (Death Note) Izzy Hands (Our Flag Means Death) vs. Father Paul (Midnight Mass) Vriska Serket (Homestuck) vs. Kaeya Alberich (Genshin Impact) Tenth Doctor (Doctor Who) vs. Joel Miller (The Last of Us) Jesse Pinkman (Breaking Bad) vs. Harrowhark Nonagesimus (The Locked Tomb) Derek Hale (Teen Wolf) vs. Kendall Roy (Succession) Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars) vs. Lestat de Lioncourt (Interview with the Vampire) Dream of the Endless (The Sandman) vs. Emet Selch (Final Fantasy XV) Howl Jenkins (Howl's Moving Castle) vs. Daemon Targaryen (House of the Dragon) Arthur Morgan (Red Dead Redemption 2) vs. Harry du Bois (Disco Elysium) Bruce Wayne aka RBattz (The Batman) vs. Villanelle (Killing Eve) Will Graham (Hannibal) vs. Seong Gi-hun (Squid Game) Jonathan Sims (The Magnus Archives) vs. Catra (She-Ra) Yennefer of Vengerberg (The Witcher) vs. Faith Lehane (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) Castiel (Supernatural) vs. Nandor the Relentless (What We Do in the Shadows)

Round Two (February 4 noon EST)

Loki Laufeyson (Marvel) vs. Prince Zuko (Avatar: The Last Airbender) Izzy Hands (Our Flag Means Death) vs. Vriska Serket (Homestuck) Tenth Doctor (Doctor Who) vs. Jesse Pinkman (Breaking Bad) Kendall Roy (Succession) vs. Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars) Dream of the Endless (The Sandman) vs. Howl Jenkins (Howl's Moving Castle) Harry du Bois (Disco Elysium) vs. Bruce Wayne (The Batman) Will Graham (Hannibal) vs. Jonathan Sims (The Magnus Archives) Yennefer of Vengerberg (The Witcher) vs. Castiel (Supernatural)

Round Three (February 5 noon EST)

Prince Zuko (Avatar: The Last Airbender) vs. Vriska Serket (Homestuck) Jesse Pinkman (Breaking Bad) vs. Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars) Harry du Bois (Disco Elysium) vs. Howl Jenkins (Howl's Moving Castle) Will Graham (Hannibal) vs. Castiel (Supernatural)

Round Four (February 6 noon EST)

Harry du Bois (Disco Elysium) vs. Will Graham (Hannibal) Vriska Serket (Homestuck) vs. Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars)

Final Round (February 7 noon EST)

Vriska Serket (Homestuck) vs. Harry du Bois (Disco Elysium)

The winner will be crowned on February 8. May the most sopping wet paper towel of a person win!

[doks-aux]

Me: *watches WF4* Felix TOLD them?? 🤯 I gotta give him credit, I didn't think he'd have the balls to cop to anything.

Me: *finds the hidden vid* Aww, there's my little coward!! 🥰 Still surprised he admitted that much, really.

[jakethesequel]

Welcome back to Tumblr's Poorest Wettest Saddest Littlest Meow Meow Competition! Before we announce the final verdict, let's see how our "lovely" contestants are doing backstage!

VRISKA SERKET, hailing from welcoming Homestuck, is in the blue corner! She's a TROLL, a TELEPATH, and a THIEF. She has also attained GODHOOD, and I'm informed she did nothing wrong! Just off the heels of a dramatic loss in the recent Tumblrwoman Election, she deeply resents being trapped in this narrative device!

Her attire today is plain by Earth standards, but well put-together by ALTERNIAN ones. Nevertheless, she has been known to dress up on occasion, particularly in the colors of her ANCESTOR, the Marquise Spinneret Mindfang!

She is extraordinarily determined, and extremely manipulative. She will do anything she can to make herself into the hero her story needs, consequences be damned. Her actions have made her the source of eternal, vitriolic discourse. Some believe her entirely justified, some believe her a heartless villain, and others believe everything in between; every one steadfast and passionate about their specific stance! Love her or hate her: VRISKA!!!!!!!!

HARRIER DU BOIS, also known as HARRY, sometimes referring to himself as RAPHAEL AMBROSIUS COSTEAU or THE REINCARNATION OF KRAS MAZOV, is here representing scenic Disco Elysium! He is a DETECTIVE, an ALCOHOLIC, a recent AMNESIAC, and a WASTE of ENERGY. Having just recently recovered from an attempt at drinking himself to death, we thought inviting him to compete might raise his spirits some! Unfortunately he does not seem to be totally aware of his surroundings, as he has already tried to touch himself twice on air!

His garish and mismatched clothes are STAINED with seemingly every substance a human body can produce. His face is locked in an EXPRESSION that can only induce disgust and discomfort in those who view it.

The few memories he can draw from his fractured mind paint him as violent, selfish, cruel, and pitiful. He has been trying to get over a breakup for six years, and has only partially succeeded through near-total retrograde amnesia. Worst of all, he's still somehow a decently successful cop. He has no friends and few allies on Revachol, with perhaps the sole exception of the impossibly patient and composed Lt. Kim Katsuragi. Even among his fans, you'd be hard pressed to find one who'd defend him, and ever harder pressed to find one willing to stand in the same room as him. Nevertheless, from the safe distance of fiction, let's hear it for HARRY!

In but a few moments, the doors in front of them will open, and they will be able to approach the trophy onto which we have engraved the name of the winner. 5… 4… 3… 2…

AND THE WINNER IS: VRISKAAAAAAAA SERKET!

—

Vriska: WH8T THE FUCK.

Vriska: WHAT THE F8CK!!!!!!!!

Vriska: I WON THIS????????

Vriska: You pieces of shit can't supp8rt me to win ag8inst some lanky rain8bow-drinking 8itch, 8ut 8eat one-in-fuck8ng 16777216 odds to win poorest, wettest, saddest, littlest g8ddamn meow8east?

Logic [Easy:Success]: She won. That means we lost.

Conceptualization [Challenging:Failure]: Another loss in a long, long line of losses.

Pain Threshold: You've gotten used to the feeling by now. Losing something barely even hurts anymore.

Endurance: You still carry each one with you. Well, except…

Volition: Not now. Not yet.

Authority [Medium:Success]: This doesn't have to stay a loss. Stare the girl down. Challenge her. Don't let this be taken from you.

Wait, what *is* she doing, anyway?

Perception: The grey girl seems to be shouting at someone, but there's no one else here.

Vriska: FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

Inland Empire [Godly:Success]: The unseen audience, the string-pullers of fate. The sadistic writer terrorizing their creation. The storybook itself, the confines it sets. She has seen the death of the author, and needs more.

Empathy [Medium:Failure]: What's got her so upset?

Harry: Is there something wrong with you?

Vriska: I'm not taking that from a walking dumpster, asshole!

Suggestion: There's still time to fix this. Say something nice, quickly.

Harry: I just mean, you seem upset. I thought you'd be celebrating your win. It’s a big accomplishment, right?

Vriska: Are you kidding?

Drama: Are we, sire? Should we be, perhaps?

Vriska: You thought I’d 8e cele8r8ing this? A vote for the most pitia8le, pathetic person in paradox space? I’m not so desper8 to fill my pity quadrant that I need to resort to CROWDFUNDING! That’s like the lowest form of 8egging!

Electrochemistry: You are that desperate. Don’t think we're above begging for it, piggy.

Conceptualization [Easy:Success]: Oh. This was not a contest one wants to win. Maybe our loss was for the best.

Vriska: And I WON!!!!!!!! With this kind of competition, HOW did I get all the votes? All of them!

Reaction Speed [Trivial:Success]: "This kind of competition?" She’s talking about you! Say something!

Harry: It was a tight race. You fought with honor.

Vriska: IT SH8ULDN’T HAVE FUCKIN8 8EEN!

Vriska: Look at you! What the fuck kind of su8juggl8or suit are you wearing? Did someone 8leed on it?

Savoir Faire: No, no, this outfit is *cool*. You just have to give it a little *disco*, man.

Strike a pose.

Vriska: …

Vriska: You can’t seriously think any of that is appealing.

Vriska: Your clothes look like they were dragged out of 8 different gar8age 8ins.

Vriska: You couldn’t 8e more greasy and stained if you drowned in a pail of 8rooding slurry. From the st8 of your body, you actually might have!

Physical Instrument: I told you. You need to cultivate more mass.

Composure [Challenging:Failure]: Please, don’t start crying in front of a teenager.

You realize that you already have.

Vriska: Are you seriously crying right now? I might not 8e an expert on the human metamorphological process 8ut you definitely aren’t a pupa anymore. Shit, you look like you’re halfway dead already. Grow up, Pupa Pan!

Endurance: You need to stop this, now, before you break down further.

Harry: Fuck off, fucking spidery bitch! Leave me alone!

Vriska: Wow. I don’t think I’ve seen a grown man act this pathetic 8efore. How the hell did you not win this!?!?!?!? Do you even have a single thing going for you?

Esprit De Corps: You have a badge and a gun. You are a Detective Lieutenant-Yefreitor of the RCM. At least for now, you have that.

Harry: I’m a pretty good fucking cop.

Vriska: There are no good cops you dum8 8itch!

Authority: Make her stop.

Vriska: I’ve known you less than a minute and you already disgust me. I feel 8ad for the people that actually have to 8e near you.

Half Light: Do what you have to do and do it now.

Vriska: You deserved to win this. I don’t know how you can live like that. 8ack home you would have 8een culled sweeps ago.

Hand Eye Coordination [Legendary:Success]: You have never fired a shot so quickly or instinctually. You didn’t even know your gun was loaded. You pulled it out the way a cat scratches a hand, or a drunk pisses himself. You don’t remember when violence became second nature to you, but you didn’t forget how to do it either.

Harry: Oh, God.

Perception (Sight): Is that blood… blue?

Visual Calculus [Legendary:Success]: Light swirls and shimmers around the girl’s body, flashing a technicolor code you cannot decipher. Her body floats into the air, and her eyes flash open. All eight of them.

Inland Empire: No justice. No heroism. Just mindless violence.

Half Light: RUN.

Vriska: OW!

Vriska: Oh no you fucking don’t!!!!!!!!

(♏) Volition [Impossible:Failure]: You try to run, but your will is seemingly powerless to drive your body. I’m sorry.

Physical Instrument: Don’t look at me. I’m in great shape.

Interfacing: Connections seem fine. Don’t tell me we have to unplug him again…

♏Vriska♏: What the fuck.

Harry: Wh-wh-what are you doing to me?

Vriska: Shut up I’m trying to f8cus!

Inland Empire: Welcome, Thief of Light.

♏Vriska♏: What the hell is wrong with you?

Encyclopedia: Severe alcoholism. Retrograde amnesia. Partial facial paralysis. Dehydration. Heart palpi- (♏)

♏Vriska♏: 8e quiet, 8ook8rain! I’m trying to rifle through memories here and it’s a MESS!

Interfacing: We haven’t quite organized since our recent… restructuring. Try the thought cabinet.

Rhetoric: Don’t tell her that!

♏Vriska♏: Too late, sucker! Found it!

♏Vriska♏: …

♏Vriska♏: …

♏Vriska♏: …

♏Vriska♏: Jegus christ.

♏Vriska♏: In pu8lic? Why would you—

♏Vriska♏: Ugh!

♏Vriska♏: You said THAT?

♏Vriska♏: There was a8solutely no reason to do ANY of that, what the hell!

♏Vriska♏: You should honestly just kill yourself if you’re going to keep 8eing such a fuckup!

Reaction Speed: Yes!

Logic: Sound. You should kill yourself.

Empathy: It would make everyone feel better.

Endurance: Hasn’t this all gone on long enough?

Savoir Faire: It’s a hell of a statement.

Drama: The noble sacrifice, like Romeo, like Juliet!

Rhetoric: You should kill yourself NOW!

Authority: She has bested you. Listen to your better.

Half Light: Anything to get away from her.

Volition: …

♏Vriska♏: Can you creeps 8e normal for two damn seconds?

MORALE CRITICAL

The light fades from your eyes, and you fall to the floor.

Shivers: You are being called back where you belong....

—

Kim: Yes, Lieutenant. A fascinating dream. I’m sorry you did not win the competition.

Harry: What do you think it means, Kim? Do you think it could be some kind of message? Should I try to find that girl?

Kim: “That girl?”

Harry: Yeah! Vriska!

Kim: No, Lieutenant. I do not think you should go looking for Vriska Serket from Homestuck. Perhaps try looking for the killer in our murder case?

[silly-goofy-mood]

Fabian Seacaster is simultaneously the coolest badass who does awesome sword tricks and sheet dancing and the wettest poorest little wet cat poor little meow meow man

[bl-bracket]

Poor Little Meow Meow Semifinals: Vegas (Kinnporsche: The Series) vs Wen Kexing (Word of Honor)

[Submitted Reasons Under Cut]

Vegas: The guy may be an actual murderer, torturer, mafia boss, manipulator, and possible grapist but come on! He is the most character ever! He is the definition of meow meow! He has a hedgehog! And he is very sad a d pathetic when it does and he buries it! And scores with the future love of his life over its grave! He fucks this dude he kidnapped and tortured so good the guy quits his job and becomes his malewife and raises his baby brothers for him!

Wen Kexing: He's a murderer, POSSIBLY a cannibal, skinned a man alive and gleefully incited conflict that led to SO many deaths, and yet the moment he finds out the guy he likes is mad at him he becomes SO pathetic. Drinking himself into a stupor. Paying concubines to just fawn over him and tell him how perfect he is. He has the biggest saddest wettest eyes and he's committed So Many Crimes.