#the pollination one is so fucking good lol

[minkdelovely]

kinktober — day XXVII

prompt: sex pollen

the pollination of angel dust

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Alastor x Angel Dust ; RadioDust ; MDNI 18+

tags/warnings: top!alastor x bottom!angel, handjob, blowjob, overstimulation, masturbation, anal fingering, mentions of pain/raw skin, minor blood warning, mentions of dry orgasms 🥀���

word count: 6.1k

summary: valentino sent a bouquet of flowers imported from the lust ring and angel has been doing his best to manage on his own, but can’t seem to break the fever when alastor shows up and proposes the offer of an afterlife.

author’s note: sunday, sunday, sunday! this wasn’t supposed to be as long as it ended up being, but here we are lol this prompt was quite the challenge for me, but i hope you enjoy it, and i’ll see y’all on thursday for the kinktober finale ♥️

coven: @fraugwinska @hazelfoureyes @macabr3-barbi3 @sugoi-writes @synamartia 🕯️♥️

the coven's kinktober masterlist

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Angel being absent in the evenings wasn’t unusual, as Valentino typically enjoyed having him work through all hours of the night. What made his empty chair ominously noticeable today was that everyone knew he was home. But they all had their right to choose — free will was Hell’s burden to bear, wasn’t it? — and Angel had missed meals before. Usually catching up on some much-needed sleep or just decompressing after days of grueling shifts. So his absence was noted, briefly discussed, and moved on from. 

Or it would have been, had Alastor not been the one in charge of making dinner.

While everyone else began to work on cleaning up, Alastor took it upon himself to go see what kept their coquettish spider so preoccupied that he couldn’t deign to join them downstairs. Had Little Miss Muffet come to exact her revenge? The Radio Demon’s cackle was the only thing that lingered in the dining room as he dissolved into shadow. 

When he manifested in front of Angel’s room, cloche in hand and ready to disturb the peace, Alastor’s eminent knock was interrupted by a wanton mewl on the other side of the door.

Ah. Not a good time… Perfect!

The smile on Alastor’s face grew as he poised his fist again and waited for another loud moan before rapping it on the door, effectively sending Angel into a scramble. Alastor’s keen ears picked up on all of it: the cursing, the ruffle of bedsheets, the groans of anguish from being forced to stop what was no doubt an enthralling pursuit of self-pleasure.

“Whoever the fuck is out there, you know I’m busy — so scram!”

He didn’t even have the decency to open the door and dismiss Alastor to his face! It was an insult to injury that could have gone unchecked, but where was the fun in that? So Alastor knocked again, purposefully silent. Let their little celebrity find out who he was talking to like that the hard way.

There was more cursing and grumbles. Alastor refreshed his posture and smile with a shimmy as he heard the star in question stomping towards the door. He had expected Angel to throw it open and give him hell but he merely cracked it. The golden chain of the door lock still dangling loosely in the meager amount of space.

“What?”

The insolent tone of voice was the most egregious slight thus far. Not many sinners in this roiling pit had the courage to give Alastor real cheek. Yet here he was, on the receiving end of a five-star glare that he had to tilt his head upward to meet. Not a pleasant experience, but Angel’s upset was intriguing — and impressive — enough that it kept his own irritation at bay.

From what Alastor could make out, the poor fellow did seem to be in dire straits. It was clear that his robe had been donned and tied in haste. The pink silk haphazardly wrapped around most of the tall, lithe body underneath it. Hair fussed and sweaty, pieces of it clung to his flushed face in a way that gave Alastor a sudden urge to swipe it back. Though he quickly dismissed the lingering trait from his childhood, recalling how put upon he felt when Mother would do exactly that — grooming him when he hadn’t done a good enough job himself. She simply couldn’t abide by unkempt hair, and in turn, neither could he.

It wasn’t just his hair that was off — though Alastor now noticed the matted tufts on the demon’s usually coiffed chest. Angel’s eyes were glossy and blown, his flared temper only adding to the lust that radiated from them. A telltale emulsification of sweat and arousal wafted through the crack of the door, underlaid with something Alastor couldn’t pinpoint, just short of floral. 

Perhaps a candle to set the mood?

Alastor fought to keep his hackles down. Whatever it was, it burned in his nose and sent a rippling tingle through his body; every strand of hair on edge with a lovely sting.

“You weren’t at dinner, so I’ve brought it to you,” Alastor said amiably, but his smile hid venom as he brought the cloche into view from his left. “I hope you didn’t skip out because I was in the kitchen today. I put a lot of care into it, you know.”

“Look, Alastor. I’m not in the mood to play along with one-a-ya shitty games right now, capisce?” Angel’s voice was stern but short of breath, and Alastor had a fleeting thought that he might be suffering from some illness until the echo of a moan resounded in his ears. No. It was too frivolous a remedy, even for the adult film star. “Just… leave it on the floor and I’ll grab it later.” 

The door was resolutely shut in Alastor’s face, dissolving the remnants of his patience.

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Angel let out a sigh of relief after closing the door. Of all the motherfuckers in this hotel to come a-knocking, it just had to be Alastor… 

The Radio Demon had easily captured his attention when he showed up here all those months ago. Since then, he had managed to smother most of the embers of his attraction toward the notorious Overlord, but in his current state those feelings had gone molten; pooling heavy in his lower belly with an agonizing ache.

Even now, Angel Dust could smell him. That spicy, earthy signature cut through with something unknown — dangerous,  even — still lingered in his nostrils, despite the barrier of the door. He groaned in frustration, letting his forehead fall gracelessly against the door as one of his hands hastily brushed away the silk of his robe to tend to his incessant erection.

Angel hissed in pain as his palm made contact, his dribbling cock raw and inflamed. How many times would this be now? It felt like hours since the first wave of arousal had woken him from sleep. When jerking off a few times hadn’t done the trick he changed tactics, and was fucking himself through round two on his favorite dildo when Alastor interrupted him. But if he was being honest, he had completely lost count of his orgasms. A fact made worse as the last couple had been dry.

Something was wrong… he just didn’t know what. Maybe Val had slipped him something this afternoon before he left the studio? He knew it wasn’t Valentino’s pheromones, being very familiar with the effects, and this was unlike anything he had experienced before. He’d do just about anything to be rid of this pain and fever, heating him from the inside out. Every beat of his heart was an uncomfortable throb in his pulse, reminding him of his predicament like the sinister ticking of the extermination clock. Angel choked out a sob, grip loosening until his hand fell away from himself as his top right fist came down harshly on the door.

“I seem to be interrupting all sorts of private moments this evening,” Alastor said sardonically, drawing a yelp of shock from Angel before he recollected himself. 

“What the fuck are you doing in here? I told you to leave.” Angel’s anger tapered off, dulled by the quiver in his voice from tears he was trying desperately to hold back. Whether they were from the pain or shame, he couldn’t know, though it was likely both.

Alastor didn’t answer. He had his nose in the air, sniffing the room before his face pinched with displeasure as he zeroed in on the bouquet of flowers from Valentino. They had been delivered just as he had gotten back to the hotel earlier, and in his desire to keep their existence to himself Angel had brought them up. He had plans to toss them into his fireplace but decided against it once he made it upstairs. They looked pretty in his room, and why take his frustrations out on harmless flowers? Though the letter peeking through the blooms remained unread.

Angel watched as Alastor approached them, almost vindictively, hovering over them with his arms crossed behind his back as he inspected. He took another sniff and recoiled, the ever-present hum of his static shrieking like feedback on a bad mic as he brought a hand up to cover his nose. Even his ears had gone stiff, as if petrified by danger.

“What, ya got allergies or somethin’?” Angel joked, unable to fight the small laugh that escaped him. 

The pain wracking his body was momentarily forgotten as he observed the Overlord. He didn’t notice that it was beginning to shift from agony to desire now that Alastor was in his room.

“Allergies,” Alastor scoffed under his breath, putting himself to rights with a tug at his lapels. “No, dear, I’m afraid these flowers must be the cause of your,” he gave a pointed look to Angel’s flagrant problem as he searched for his next word, “…affliction. I don’t recognize them as any breed that’s grown here. They’re twisted.” 

Angel cursed. Of course Valentino would skew a romantic gesture into something obscene.

Alastor merely hummed, then proceeded to summon an opening to a pocket dimension in which he quickly disposed of the devious flowers. When the portal shut the air in the room was immediately lighter, and Alastor breathed a sigh of content. His face plastered with the saintly look of a job well done.

“Where’d ya send ’em?” 

Angel couldn’t help but ask. If they really were the reason why he’d been suffering, he hated the thought of them causing harm to someone else. Well… no one in the hotel, at least.

Alastor leveled his eyes on him from across the room, his grin wide and superior in the way someone with a secret always was. “A dump, where they belong. But I fear the damage is already done. Tell me, what was the first symptom so I know what to expect?”

Angel Dust wrung his hands, a fresh onset of arousal spreading through him as Alastor’s scent replaced the aroma of the flowers. The cadence of that transatlantic voice making his cock twitch with interest, erection briefly forgotten but not gone. Why was it suddenly so hard to think? He was trying so hard to answer Alastor’s question, but words evaded him. Disappearing from his mouth like popped bubbles.

It didn’t help with the way Alastor was staring at him, a cat eyeing the canary. This is a look that normally would have given Angel a healthy dose of apprehension, maybe even fear, but at present it was smoldering. He was practically naked, something that didn’t typically bother him, but under the scrutiny of Alastor’s gaze he felt as if he was being examined under a magnifying glass. Leaving him bare and tinkered with like…

Like a plaything.

There was a sourness in his mouth at the all-too-familiar dynamic, and he found himself panting, stomach tight as Alastor sauntered over. Casually removing his coat and draping it over one of the armchairs as if Angel was the guest in this room and not the other way around. Alastor crooked a finger under Angel’s chin once he was close enough, and Angel properly whimpered. Helpless as another dribble of precum soaked into the silk of his robe.

“Cat got your tongue? Or is that too on the nose?” Alastor teased, smile goading and voice sultry; crimson eyes piercing him like needles. 

“Fuck you,” Angel managed to retort, but the heat he needed to land the barb escaped him in steamy puffs of breath. 

“I’d like to extend an offer,” Alastor said guilelessly, ignoring the insult, “since we find ourselves in need of each other’s help.”

“Help with what?” 

He sounded far away from himself, as if speaking from another room. Having Alastor this close was fucking with him; endocrine system not knowing whether to ramp up his testosterone or cortisol levels. With the way his heart and loins were hammering, it most likely doing both.

“Poor fellow, you’re in quite a stupor, aren’t you?” Alastor chuckled. He took one of Angel’s hands and brought it to his lap to cup his forming erection, drawing a gasp from the younger man. “As you can see, I’m already suffering the side effects from those damned flowers.”

The words had barely registered before Alastor returned the gesture in kind, the soft leather of his glove a surprising balm to the irritated skin of his cock. Angel crooned and let his head fall back with a thump against the door as Alastor gave him a few exploratory strokes, and all but cried when his thumb pressed into the slit.

Alastor clicked his tongue in mock admonishment. “I expected a professional would know how to better care for themselves. Look how red you are, poor thing...”

Angel squirmed, gasping, unable to hold back the fresh tears that stung his eyes from the bliss of Alastor’s hand pumping him. “I do,” he protested, “but if what you said is true — mmm — then those f-flowers did somethin’ to me. And nothin’s worked all — fuck!” 

He groaned as his cock kicked, a small rope of ejaculate painting the top of Alastor’s gloved hand. Angel hadn’t even felt the onset of this orgasm, but did feel the relief of it for the first time all evening. His body shook as another little spurt spilled out. Meager proof for what had been his best climax so far.

Alastor hummed pensively and brought his hand up to his mouth, licking the glove clean with two wide swipes of his tongue. He seemed to ponder over the taste of it for a moment, then shrugged it off. Some internal debate settled as that same hand gave a tug to the handsome bow at his neck. His eyebrows perked up as he began to roll up his shirtsleeves, as if forgetting that Angel was fighting for his sanity in front of him. 

“Shall we take this to the bed?” 

Angel was still trying to process what had just happened, but couldn’t deny that he was already feeling a bit better after the handjob, rudimentary as it was. Still, something about this just didn’t seem real. Alastor offering to go to bed with him? He had to be sure, lest he embarrass himself further.

“If you’re serious about this you actually have to fuck me. Ya know that, right? No cuttin’ corners just usin’ those tentacles ’a yours,” he said warily, searching the Overlord for any signs of a gag.

“Clever boy,” Alastor purred, smile wide as he extended his hand. The sight was about as comforting as a loaded gun, and Alastor hummed when Angel stared down at his open hand for a moment too long. Adding a singsong, “No strings.”

“No strings, huh?” Angel couldn’t help but be a little skeptical, being very familiar with the demon’s reputation. “You ain’t gonna make me sign for it?”

Alastor chortled. “Of course not! This is between gentlemen. What do you say?”

How the fuck did he end up in this situation? To think that if he had just tossed the flowers like he wanted, he would have had another mundane evening under his belt. Instead, Valentino just proved that he would never change, and left Angel holding the bag as usual. What was he even trying to achieve by sending those fucking things here, anyway? If Valentino knew what the flowers would do to him (and Angel had a really hard time believing he didn’t), it’s not like he was here to take care of the result. The thought alone made Angel nauseous, a shudder wracking his body that left him feeling dirty.

But it was Alastor standing before him now. Alastor, the enigmatic Radio Demon, whom Vox both adored and detested. While Vox certainly wasn’t the only one who felt that way towards the guy, knowing this was all somehow tied to Valentino helped. He’d be lying if he said he never thought about what fucking Alastor would be like. After all, that blowjob he offered when they first met wasn’t completely for shock.

Let’s see just how serious he is…

“Can I suck your dick?” 

In a flash so quick Angel thought he had almost imagined it, Alastor’s face lit up in surprise before settling back to his usual facade, his open hand curling into a fist. But he didn’t answer, instead pooling into shadow to re-form on the edge of Angel’s bed; fingers dancing on his thighs while he spread his legs just enough to show off the growing bulge in his trousers.

“I suppose you’ve waited long enough for your chance.”

It shouldn’t have had the affect on him that it did. Angel had seen more than his fair share of men in the exact same position after making such an offer. While his erection had yet to weaken, he was surprised at his capacity for lubrication, embers of lust burning just under his skin as he knelt before Alastor with as much dignity as he could muster. God forbid he appeared over-eager, even if he was. 

There was just so much mystery surrounding the man before him, it was hard not to let his imagination get away. Angel was already impressed by his size, swallowing the saliva that had began collecting in his mouth as he tentatively palmed Alastor through his pants. The jerk of his hips caught Angel off-guard, but only made his own arousal worse.

Sensitive, huh?

Under normal circumstances Angel would have teased him, draw it out with strokes and licks over his pants until Alastor was begging for his mouth. But he had the distinct feeling Alastor wasn’t the type to to beg, and he didn’t really feel like testing his patience to the point of being thrown around like he was at the studio. Since, under normal circumstances, Angel wouldn’t even be here in the first place — removing Alastor’s belt and unfastening the button, his own groin tingling with anticipation as Alastor sighed with relief through his nose. A small, shaky sound with momentous impact.

It was enough to make Angel give in to his impatience, his need to really see what he was working with too great to delay any further. Alastor was right. 

He’d waited long enough.

Angel sighed when he pulled down Alastor’s pants and boxers, moaning a little despite himself as he watched Alastor’s cock trying to win its battle against gravity, straining under its own weight. He was thick and uncircumcised, causing Angel’s mouth to water again with the desire to see more. If he was already enjoying the dark tan color before him, he couldn’t imagine what else lied in store when he eventually got around to revealing the head. 

“This has gotta be Hell’s best-kept secret,” Angel said, grinning as he looked up to Alastor’s face, which had grown rather red. “I shoulda known you’d be packin’. The quiet ones always got somethin’ up their sleeve.”

Alastor shifted self-consciously, smile strained as the flush of his face crept down under the collar of his shirt. “I’ll take it as a compliment, but I suggest you put that mouth to better use before I change my mind.”

Angel thought about responding. He had several sarcastic quips in his back pocket for instances such as this. Work would do that to you after a while — quite literally suck the joy out of things — so you had to find the fun where you could. And his idea of fun right now was to make Alastor eat his words. He wanted to see what this mouth could do? 

So be it, then.

Without further delay to his own gratification, Angel Dust took him in hand, soaking in the gasp Alastor tried to swallow as he pulled back the skin; greeted by the flushed tip, a deep rosy hue that complimented his tan so nicely. Big and beautiful? Some assholes were just born lucky, Angel supposed. He was, of course, included in this exclusive group, but it was a rare treat to be able to indulge in a gorgeous cock that wasn’t his own.

Angel started slow, circling his tongue around the glans and relishing the salt of Alastor’s skin, heightened by his musky scent. Not unaware of the little sounds Alastor was still biting back; something that Angel was more than willing to rectify, when the time came. For now, he was happy to ease into it. Planting a small kiss right over the slit before treating the rest of him, Angel’s hand gently working the head as his trail of kisses traveled down. 

He could have cried for joy as Alastor adjusted himself, legs spreading further to give Angel more access. Even daring to take a testicle into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the bulb and sucking while his hand continued its massage. Alastor was breathing heavily through his nose, losing the battle to keep his breath even as Angel switched testes. If he wasn’t so dedicated to giving Alastor’s balls the attention they deserved, he would have smiled as he felt the first wave of precum sink under his fingers. Already feeling so satisfied and he’d barely gotten started.

Angel pulled off with a purposefully salacious pop, working his hand further down Alastor’s shaft now that he had some lubricant to work with. He could have easily grabbed some — Lord knows he wasn’t lacking in supply — but earning it was always nice. Jumping in with both feet was something he related more with being at the studio, and he was off the clock at the moment. No lights, no cameras, no shitty actors with even shittier hygiene. 

He was in the comfort of his suite, with Alastor on the bed willingly letting him have his fun. Was the circumstance anything like he thought it’d be? No. Angel fought back the anger he felt simmer in his gut at the reminder of Valentino’s gift. The silver lining being that Alastor, for whatever reason, decided that the only way to get through this fever was together. It would be a secret they’d take to their figurative graves, and if Angel was being honest with himself, it was more than he could have asked for. A memory just for him.

The moan that left Alastor as Angel’s mouth finally surrounded him was sublime, his own dick weeping steadily as he sunk down to the base. Practically smothering himself in the wild scent of Alastor’s manhood, relishing the soft hair that tickled his nose. Even better was how quickly Alastor’s hand found itself grabbing at Angel’s hair while his body jerked from pleasure and shock as Angel slowly bobbed his head; refusing to let this be just another sloppy blowjob. Not that he had anything against them (Angel enjoyed them quite a bit) but having someone gag and choke and gasp and drool all over his dick just didn’t seem to be Alastor’s style.

Angel whined as he felt Alastor twitch and grow in his mouth, swallowing down his saliva now delightfully flavored with the salty-sweet of Alastor’s arousal. It reminded him of the kettle corn he would get on Coney Island. A treat he was only allowed when he had been on best behavior running errands with his Ma, and he found sucking Alastor off to be just as gratifying. 

He didn’t even notice how his hands were gripping Alastor’s hips until he felt the Overlord begin to rock into his throat. The hand in his hair still held firm, the slight sting of the pull against his scalp only spurring the star on, widening his tongue to press it up against the pulsing vein as a reward for Alastor’s growing enthusiasm. Made evident by the static-laden gasps and groans he was freely making, complimented by the wet sounds of Angel’s mouth as his throat relaxed to let Alastor chase his fun.

Not afraid of a little mess, after all…

His lower set of hands busied themselves cupping and massaging Alastor’s testicles, the wanton sound that he earned from it one he vowed to sear into his memory for safekeeping. He could tell that Alastor was getting close, pace stuttered but flirting with brutal as Angel focused on making sure to keep enough air in his lungs. Not that he doubted his capacity, but he hadn’t exactly planned for the sudden face-fucking, either. 

He risked a glance up, and what he saw almost didn’t seem real. Alastor’s head was tilted down towards him, but his crimson eyes were shut tight, framed by his sweat-damp hair. The blush from earlier had truly bloomed from the fever, the glow contrasting handsomely against his complexion in a way that was almost irritating. Sure, red was his color, but did every part of him have to rub it in? 

But the real showstopper was his fumbling smile. Alastor’s patented grin gone soft and trembling; gossamer strings of saliva connecting the lips of his open mouth, looking like dew drops on a spider web. 

“Fu — haahh, Anthony, I —”

Angel moaned at the sound of his name on Alastor’s tongue. Nearly sobbing as he felt and tasted the first shot of cum, fastening his grip on Alastor’s hips to keep him in place as he swallowed every bit that he received. It tasted different than his pre, more on the bitter side, but not unpleasant. Angel was finding less and less things to associate with that word when it came to Alastor, a worry blossoming in the back of his mind that he’d have to think on more later.

For now, he focused on savoring the moment. The taste, smell, and feel of the Overlord before him. The little jerks and shudders of aftershock slowly beginning to subside as Alastor’s breathing evened out, loosening the grip he had on Angel’s hair before falling on his back; a static hum vibrating in the air, sounding the way he always imagined a sleeping beast from a fairytale would.

Alastor was far from asleep though, grumbling over the persistence of his erection as he hastily tugged at the buttons on his sweat-dampened shirt. The effects of the fever digging in despite their efforts. Angel could understand the frustration, his own member practically screaming for relief. He knew his own touch would only bring pain and irritation, resolving to do his best to ignore it, but found himself growing eager. The lingering taste of Alastor’s skin and semen in his mouth warming him from the inside out.

“How many times do ya think we need to try before it goes away?”

“I think there’s only one way to find out, darling,” Alastor replied, sounding a bit out of breath. “Why don’t you come up here and join me?”

To his surprise, Alastor didn’t pat the bed, but the top of his thighs. His knees still bent over the side of the bed while the rest of him laid flat. Angel crawled up, fighting through the stiffness that had begun to settle into his bones, and settled himself over Alastor. Sighing as strong, large hands held his hips and red eyes roamed his face. 

Without thinking, Angel reached up to remove Alastor’s monocle. For such a small thing, its absence made quite the impact. Alastor’s face, much like the rest of him now, laid bare for no one else’s eyes but his own. Angel took in the sight, crimson splayed over the pink cotton of his duvet. With Alastor laying in the center of it, his hair and open shirt was reminiscent of a pool of blood. Angel found it fitting — gruesome and glamorous all at once. He was struck by the urge to kiss him, and drew his bottom lip between his teeth to keep it at bay. Alastor only smiled, one of his fangs poking out from his closed lips while his hands massaged the star’s narrow hips.

Angel cleared his throat and looked up and off to the side where his discarded toy and bottle of lube laid haphazardly on the sheets. He was just able to reach the bottle, and proceed to rub a generous amount over his hole; feeling the blush warm his face from being watched. It was a little funny… Angel Dust was used to this, enjoyed it, for the most part. But something about having Alastor’s eyes on him while he prepped himself made him feel shy, as if he were seeking some kind of approval despite being the professional.

The slick sound of his fingers filled the gap of their silence, punctured by little whines and heavy breaths. And still, they maintained eye contact. The intensity of Alastor’s red eyes was smothering, and it felt nice to know that Angel wasn’t alone in his need for more.

“Okay, that should do it,” Angel said, and shivered at the sound of Alastor’s eager inhale of breath. “Ya want me on top, or should we switch? I don’t care either way, just make it quick cuz I can’t wait anymore.”

Alastor laughed and gave him a playful slap on the ass, the unexpected gesture heightened by the words he spoke next. 

“Get on your back.”

Angel complied with an embarrassing speed, dismounting from Alastor’s lap to scramble up the bed. Hastily removing his robe to gather his discarded dildo in before placing them on the floor to give them a cleaner space to work with. His chest was heaving as he watched Alastor shed his shirt and slacks, and couldn’t help but to finally touch himself; moaning loud as Alastor crawled up the bed while running his tongue over his teeth. 

He sighed as Alastor grabbed his legs and hitched them over his shoulders, pulling him close as he lined himself up with Angel’s entrance. Alastor sunk into him with one swift thrust, their groans of relief harmonizing as they both paused to adjust. He didn’t give Angel too long of a wait, slowly receding before slamming back in. Alastor’s thick length forcing him open with a delicious stretch as he steadily pounded Angel’s ass. His hand remained busy on his own cock, doing his best to stroke in tandem but failing from the force of Alastor’s body rocking into him.

Maybe it was from the wait, but Angel was shocked to feel that prominent tightening in his belly so soon. The promise of another orgasm adding to the haste of his hand as he keened. A high, wanton sound ringing out over mounting static and bit-back groans, elevating the crude noise of wet skin-on-skin. They were already so drenched in sweat, the fever in full force as the men desperately sought to break it.

Angel didn’t even notice that Alastor’s nails had dug into the skin of his thighs until he saw the blood trickling down, and found himself clenching around that delicious cock in response. Alastor’s head fell back with a moan, his hips stuttering from the sudden tightness before resuming his pace.

“Oh fuck, Alastor, please don’t stop. Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop,” Angel begged, breathless. Tears beading at the corners of his eyes as the molten heat in his abdomen boiled over, his climax hitting him with a force he hadn’t felt since his first time.

Somewhere under his cries of rapture he heard Alastor curse with a gasp, the feeling of the Overlord’s release sending him over the edge as his orgasm renewed; his dick twitching against his stomach, shamelessly painting himself with a fresh wave of his own seed. The relief was exquisite, the heat in Angel’s body noticeably dropping as Alastor gave him a testing thrust before resuming a slow, deep pace. Seemingly unfazed by fucking his spend into Angel’s ass, for which the star was grateful. It felt too good, and he’d hate to point it out and make Alastor squeamish. 

“What an improvement,” Alastor observed, his voice thick and low, eyes glowing with a hunger that made Angel whine. “Feeling better now, my dear?”

Though his mouth was open, Angel could only nod his head in answer. Rolling his hips to meet Alastor’s thrusts as they chased another high. His head was clearing up, and he was determined to get Alastor to finish first this time. There was no way of knowing just how many rounds they’d need to go to get through this, but Angel was feeling hopeful that it wouldn’t be too much longer, at least for himself. 

He watched, mesmerized as the antlers on Alastor’s head began to grow. Spreading out like roots until they had tripled in size, handsome and stately and entirely befitting the head they adorned. Angel couldn’t help but reach out, his desire and curiosity to touch them overriding his sense of propriety. To his delight, Alastor noticed his unspoken question, folding Angel’s body beneath him as he lowered himself enough for the star to reach out and grab his brow tines. Earning a delicious moan from Alastor from the touch.

Their faces were so close now that they were breathing the same air, a dizzy feeling building in Angel’s head as he lost himself in Alastor’s unrelenting eye contact. 

“You’re so fuckin’ gorgeous, ya know that?” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, moaning as he felt Alastor twitch inside him. He let his other hands roam the expanse of Alastor’s furry chest, relishing the groan it drew from him as his brow furrowed. “Can’t wait to see you cum again… got a front row seat this time.” 

He felt another throb as Alastor gasped, grinding his hips in tight circles, his steady pace unravelling as buried himself in Angel’s heat. 

“That’s it, baby, I can take it,” Angel encouraged between breaths, seeing stars with every pass of Alastor’s cock over his prostate. Doing his best not to blink lest he miss the face he was so eager to see.

“Anthony…”

There it was again. He didn’t even know how Alastor knew it, but the sound of his name in that filtered voice was a weakness he could have lived without. Knowing that it would haunt him as he tried to sleep for nights to come. That he would recoil the next time he heard it from someone else’s mouth instead…

With another cry of his name Alastor shuddered, his face scrunched in pleasure as his orgasm wracked his body. Angel took it all in, his body squeezing out every bit of Alastor’s essence while his eyes memorized the flushed, handsome face. Every bead of sweat, every misplaced strand of hair. The heat of Alastor’s breath on his face, huffed in invisible clouds of steam. His upper hands were still latched to Alastor’s tines, the others gently caressing the man as he sloppily rode out his high. 

It wasn’t until Alastor collapsed on top of him that he realized he didn’t experience his own orgasm, and found that the absence of it wasn’t painful. His body felt to be back to its usual temperature, his head light but clear as he waited for Alastor to pull out. Not that there was a rush. There was no way for him to know the time, but he wasn’t ready to turn back into a pumpkin.

“I think my fever’s gone,” he says anyway, his voice quiet as Alastor nestled his face in Angel’s chest. “Thanks for puttin’ up with this. I know…,” he sighed, searching for the words and settles on, “I know it’s not somethin’ we woulda done under normal circumstances.”

Alastor hummed, pensive. He still hadn’t removed himself, and Angel couldn’t help but find it oddly comforting. “I’m not so sure I’m out of the woods yet. I’m typically not so… voracious.”

Angel laughed a little, content to pet Alastor’s back while he figured it out. Seeing as this would most likely be a one-time thing, he figured he should get his money’s worth. So to speak. 

“Hey, your secret’s safe with me. A gentleman never tells, ya know.”

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

The even sound of heeled boots echoed in the empty hallway as Lucifer made his way to the doors of his penthouse. He was in a lovely mood, whistling a tune that hadn’t deigned the ears of mortals for centuries; his right hand flourishing his apple-adorned cane like a baton. 

His mirth died with the song on his lips as he took in the vase of flowers on the floor, recognizing the breeds that made up the bouquet as genuses that only existed in the Lust Ring. Lucifer bent down to pluck the card out of the pink and maroon blooms and grimaced almost immediately.

Thinking of you, Angelito. Call me when you feel the burn. ~ Valentino

Lucifer shuddered and incinerated the card, furiously wiping his hand on his coat in disgust as he opened a portal to V Tower. 

Seems like a certain Overlord needed to remember his place.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧     ✧     ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

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[monocytogenes]

HI FAM, for Talk to Me Tuesday - give me some headcanons about Pravin relating to Orlesian theatre culture! What's all of that like for him?

HELLO I have an entire document called ~theater stuff~ for thissss

To start off--broadly, there are three ways of being an actor in Orlais:

Traveling troupe system: joining a troupe of other actors, who go around the country performing at different locales, such as at community events like festivals and market days, as well as in intimate settings like taverns, inns and private homes.

Patronage system: a wealthy patron puts together a troupe of actors and hosts them at one or more venues. Actors contract with the patron for a period of time--such as for a social season--and are paid in accordance with the contract.

Audition system: actors audition for roles in a particular production. This system is used by several high-demand venues, such as the Grande Royeaux, to acquire performers especially fit for a given part.

Each approach has its own pros and cons--troupes tend to have the most freedom in terms of what plays they choose to put on, for instance, but the most unreliable pay because they're doing gig work; patronage is good in terms of job stability but you don't have as much input in terms of who you're working with and what you're working on, and auditioning is a high-barrier-to-entry approach that nevertheless tends to be super financially lucrative--provided you get picked, of course. In practice most actors start out in a troupe and shift around between the three modalities over the course of their career.

Pravin fucked off to Orlais in the middle of the Blight, so probably sometime in 9:30, and it took him a bit over a year, maybe two, to get in with a troupe that he really gelled with and have his first big break (playing a Sexy Antivan Pirate). He got a patron out of that and spent some time in that system in Val Chevin, but wound up being typecast and underpaid and had to do gigs on the side; he actually got into bard work through Gaubert asking for help in getting that patron's husband arrested, lol. Alongside his general mistrust of authority that came out of his experiences in the Blight, that whole thing really turned Pravin off from patronage, period (as did, you know, the difficult political situation of being a professional bard), so since then he's alternated between actually touring with a troupe, various one-off gigs, and auditioning for parts.

He's really proud of getting roles at the Grande Royeaux precisely because it's competitive as hell and really signifies being at the peak of his craft--you don't get in unless you're really good, and you sure as fuck don't get a leading role unless you're one of the best in the country. It's something that carries a huge amount of clout within the theater community, and needless to say, is especially impressive for a foreigner.

Coming back around to culture: I think one of the things Pravin's spent much of his career doing is proving himself worthy of the country he's made his home. Orlais is this beacon of culture in Southern Thedas, and while I imagine there's some cross-pollination of Orlesian practices into Antivan theater culture (and standards around what constitutes good musicianship are pretty uniform, given dissemination through the Chantry), there's still significant differences, such as the visual language of masks. Pravin had some skill transfer from his musical training and the acting he did while he was at university in Antiva, and speaking Orlesian fluently and without an accent helped substantially, but when he came into the Orlesian scene he still had to familiarize himself with a multitude of cultural minutiae, and while the Orlesian theater community itself is welcoming by default--the Orlesian public? Not so much. His fellow actors quickly dubbed him their beloved Denci; his audiences would take one look at his skin tone and nevertheless see him as an outsider, with all the expectations of inferiority that went along with that. So when he did secure that leading role at the Grande Royeaux, it not only meant that he was an extremely talented actor and musician, but that he was an excellent Orlesian actor. Not some token Antivan good at imitating the form, but actually Orlesian.

(And that's part of why at the beginning of Inquisition's events he's kind of hitting a point where he doesn't know what to do with himself. He's made it. He's gotten to the top. He should be content with his life, then...right?)

[harmonyckrs]

DAY 5 in Twisted Strangetown: The One in Control

THE PREVIOUS DAY

Today marks the second day of staying with the Curious brothers in order to ease Pascal's worries. Due to this, we've had limited contact with the General, but I will assume that Boss has been able to resume communication with him.

My observations of the Smiths is that they are just normal (bruh). Further observation is needed. There's nothing particularly off putting about them that isn't any more off-putting about everyone else (you spent a whole day observing them with and your conclusion was this? This is why Ajay likes me more LOL). I admit it was nice to see other people with alien descent, though I wasn't a huge fan of the General talking about how all aliens were evil before proceeding to call Chloe and I "the exception." He was quite apologetic when he realized it offended me, however. I suppose he still has a lot to unlearn in regards to his alien biases.

I also overheard Pascal and Lazlo discussing a conversation they over heard Chloe having with Vidcund's kidnapper and her fuming over the riddle that he gave her in order to meet up with him in person. We've come to the conclusion that it might be an art museum, but it'll take some time to figure out which one. Either way, Chloe's recklessness may cause some hardships later (seriously? It ain't that big of a deal). We'll have to claim that the kidnapper was simply just trying to reach out to whichever family member will listen. Hopefully they will buy it.

C: So how's the subject doing, Aktu?

A: His name is Vidcund, and he's doing fine. I explained everything to him, and I think he's starting to cooperate. How are you feeling?

C: Really tired. And my head still hurts, but I'm sure it'll be gone in some time. What happened to the hat you always wore with that suit?

A: Dropped it by accident.

C: You realize that they could track you with that, right?

A: They couldn't even figure out my riddle! I don't think they're smart enough to use my hat to trace me here.

C: Figuring out who a hat belongs to through collecting DNA from it and solving a riddle require two different skills. They probably have your name already.

A: Well, I...fuck.

C: Just lay low for a while, and don't do anything stupid. If he's calm enough, you can probably just let him go and give him one of the rings we have that'll keep him immune to mind control.

A: Are you sure? We only have so many of those.

C: Yeah. I'm sure he cares about his family, right? We can use him as our mole with the promise of helping the rest of his family.

A: Good point! I'll give that to him as soon as I can.

C: Good. I don't want to use up too much battery on this hologram machine, so I'm going to end our call here. Just remember what I said...

THE NEXT DAY

---

BONUS:

ENERGY: 25%

I don't remember feeling this awful since having to leave Strangetown 20 years ago.

I was just a teenager! What was I thinking, going up against one of the most powerful people in all of Strangetown? And what was [REDACTED] thinking, fighting a fourteen year old for power? For the sake of the Watcher, I'm just a colony drone! I'm not powerful like the Birth Queens or Pollination Technicians!

And that's why I need to keep training. If I won that fight, then everyone would've been safe from [REDACTED]. And maybe I wouldn't feel as though they're always watching, even when we're miles away.

ENERGY: 50%

A: The weather is pretty nice today. Do you want to go outside?

V: Aren't I a hostage?

A: You're a test subject, not a hostage. Plus, you're really far from Strangetown, and Cyd and I have connections in all of Bluewater village from getting rid of the other guy who used to live here.

V: Makes sense. Who was the other guy?

A: Oh, nobody important. Think his name was, like, Malcolm Lemongrab or something. I forgot.

V: Malcolm LANDGRAAB? The heir to the richest family in the world?

A: Oh, shoot! You know him? That explains why the police came by with all those annoying questions. Cyd had to pretend to be Malcolm over the phone and act like he got abducted by aliens in order to get them to go away!

V: ...You're the worst criminal ever.

A: Well, it's my first time. So is that a yes or a no on the outing?

V: Eh, sure. Why not?

ENERGY: 75%

As I'm forced to remain in bed to recharge, I think about [REDACTED] and what they did. A part of me wonders what they have to gain from altering everyone's personalities. Power? Some sense of superiority that they have the ability to control everyone there? Fear of being discriminated against?

No matter. Once Aktu and I are done with this experiment, we'll be able to find a way to release Strangetown from the control of [REDACTED]. Peace will be restored, and Porthos and I can finally rest knowing that we've completed our mission.

ENERGY CHARGED: 100%

I think I'm ready to meet that subject now! What was his name again...Vincent or something? Ah, I'll figure it out.

Either way, it's a step closer to freeing Strangetown from [REDACTED]'s control.

[bleachbleachbleach]

1/8 - 1/14/2024

Ha! I wrote very little this week. I ended up spending most of my time dealing with airplanes, then got home and dealt with mice (I am at war), so I was like, fuck it, I am tired, I'll focus on reading, then. So I read a few chapters of Bleach, and a few chapters of fanfic. And a lot of nonfiction while standing in lines at customer service desks in the airport. I didn't read any nonfiction I really liked while standing in lines for customer service desks in the airport, BUT I wanted to share some of the spoils of "nonfiction in 2023" at large--in particular, those that make me think about craft (AKA writing fanfic).

1. Succession

While circumnavigating the United States, I ended up watching/sleeping through almost the entire first season of Succession, which I'd never seen. It wasn't interesting to me, but it was very good. It's known for its piercing witticisms, but where I thought it really excelled was in its deeply unpolished, inarticulate dialogue (and the performances to back it up). It takes the in-lived-time, verisimilitude-of-actual-speech to an extreme, even within the genre of TV (and of prestige TV, which I feel like is less pressured to be 'approachable') and I love it. I'd previously read this article about the writing of Succession, which is about the inimitability of the collaborative, creative process vs. AI. While my fanfic technically only has one author, I feel like having ~come of age~ writing for a TV fandom, an addition to having my primary motivation as a writer be "hang out with my blorbos," has influenced my writing process in that I think of it a lot like this--running lines with them, blocking out the scenes in different ways as though in rehearsal, inviting their personalities in as co-writers. So I really enjoyed that article's encapsulation of a particular writing process!

2. Flipping Grief

Like I said, I read a lot of nonfiction--usually longform journalism or essay-style creative nonfiction. And a narrative convention that is VERY popular is to present a niche topic and then cross-pollinate it with a parallel personal narrative. This is as common as, say, coffeeshop AUs in fanfic. And while an understandable impulse, and one I think has a lot of potential, if you read enough of them just doing the thing isn't enough, and it becomes too easy to see the bulging seams where the two narratives don't hold together, or are stitched too obviously.

Flipping Grief, written by James McNaughton and published in Guernica (2023), is the opposite of that. It's an example of a common trope done extremely, extremely well, and it's one of my Top 10 articles I read last year. It's about predatory real estate flipping practices; it's about a brother's death by overdose. The two are connected by a phone call--the author is predated upon while mourning his brother--but the two narratives wend together in so many ways, and in so many ways that do not force the connection or seek easy metonym, clear parallelisms. Just stunning. Where writing is concerned, it's an example of something at the top of its genre, imho, but I think also a reminder that there is room in this world for messiness and elusiveness and the refusal to tie things together by virtue of their Symbolic Relatedness.

3. Against Aboutness

This last piece I think deserves its own post, because I love it to pieces and I draw something new out of it every time I read it. The first time I read it, the note I wrote was, "I feel like this is the kind of article you read and feel viscerally as your brain expands--hard to pin down rationally (first word that came to mind) or practically. But it's also not meant to be read instructively, at least not in that way."

Against Aboutness, written by Yiyun Li and published in Harper's (2023) is technically a BOOK REVIEW, LOL, for Elizabeth McCracken'. It follows the vein of this post--a love song for the inarticulate and refusal of clean parallels--in that Li loves McCracken's work because it resists the impulse to define what something is "really about"--to say this is a story about trauma, or womanhood, or grief. It's the lit crit impulse, to identify themes and bring them out, but perhaps not the frame of mind that either the writer or reader needs to inhabit unilaterally or universally. And of course it's against the vein of this post, because I went ahead and told you what the pieces above were "about" just as naturally as breathing, haha.

I'll stop there for now, because now I really do want to give this one its own post, but here's a line I think about a lot:

If you take your characters’ feet for granted—if you haven’t washed and bandaged your characters’ toes, if you haven’t placed their feet on yours to lift them upstairs—perhaps they have a right to refuse to come alive. You’re stuck with sentient and bodiless beings: egos, ghosts, cyphers, fragments of an insufficient imagination.

[bananaelephant]

Cross Pollination | An Alice in Borderland FanFic

AHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS FIC TOOK SO LONG!!!! I'm so happy that I finished it, and I get to finally post it. Thank you SO MUCH to the wonderful, amazing, perfect WildelyDawn for encouraging me to write this hot garbage and then helping me edit this fucking MONSTER of a fic. Dawn is also the one who came up with the title of the fic / game so thank you very much for helping me with that!! 😭😭 I hate naming shit lmfao.

This one-shot is by far the longest that I've ever written, and I'm honestly kinda glad that I am done with it.

Anyway, please enjoy the degeneracy that is my brain. 😊😊😊

Summary:

When Aguni and Niragi need a fourth for their game, you  go along like a good, little militant—not that you wanted to join them. Things have been a little weird between you and Aguni since that incident with Niragi. Once you’re actually at the arena, it seems like the game (8 of Spades) is oddly easy for its apparent difficulty. What’s the catch? The dealer decided to use sex pollen to spice things up. 😉

Phew, every time I think I’ve discovered the depth of my depravity, I prove myself wrong. And this shit is pretty fuckin’ depraved. Mind the tags. Since this fic involves sex pollen, there are dub-con elements but, tbh, I went into this knowing that I wanted these characters to all want each other lol.

Read the story on Ao3

[theghostiedyke]

@molsno​ tagged me in a 20 q’s thing. it was originally a reddit refugee thing but now it’s just fun hehehehe

Name? lavi :) i also answer to ghostie :3

Pronouns and gender? they/she; my gender is dyke lesbian. like my sexuality is simply too tied to my gender to consider it otherwise. i am woman aligned because i am in love with women and other lesbians with fucked up genders

Sexuality? lesbian <3

Country? U.S. :/ (but also PR)

Top 5 fandoms? uhhh rn: LOZ, Bleach, Ace Attorney, im probably forgetting some. i’m quite picky with how i interact with fandoms too i like find my lil niche and stay there and ignore the big stuff. i always love when i find fellow queer or fans of color :>

What is your Most forbidden snack? squishies

Would you pet a bug? depends on the bug! it might be too small to be petted or might be something that scares me. i do like to photograph the non scary ones at work hehehe. (i.e. pollinators and or invasive but pretty bugs)

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. i am suddenly blanking as if i am not constantly weird and awkward. i wouldn’t call this weird but more so enjoyable but i have now had two parties where i have had a autism moment with someone i am meeting for the first time on the couch. and we talk in depth about our shared interest. truly a melding of adhd (on my part) and austism (on the other persons part).

What does the color blue taste like? “blue raspberry slushies, my favorite flavor :3″ i am partially copying this answer from vivi! and adding on: blue raspberry dumdum lollipops.

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? idk if can only pick one thing! so many things are beautiful! Puerto Rico, women, a hibiscus I saw blooming the other day, my baby niece, fan art of a current hyperfixation, my baby nephew’s love of ladybugs, artbooks i bought at a convention

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? only one?? anytime adhd tax has affected me lol, or when it took me literal years to realize two family members were specifically my first cousins from an aunt I never realized was a mom too lol.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? a professor asking me and coworker for a “boneless” book when i worked at a uni bookstore.

Hyperfixation song? currently so far so fake by pierce the veil but it might be changing soon

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? my avatar is a lil piccrew of me and the username is now self explanatory but originally was a halloween variation back when ppl changed their usernames. it’s undergone many changes on whims lol.

Dream career as a child? i had a couple of different phases so: chef, fashion designer, interior designer, artist

Dream career as an adult? ehhh designer/artist. i’m content in my job rn i get to do enough of stuff i like and the work environment is good and i really like my coworkers.

Thoughts on cilantro? fresh! tasty! a perfect topping to savory foods!

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? nope

What is your cursed food combination? hmmm i don’t think i have one? when i have like 0 groceries i sometimes experiment by putting different things in rice, like cheeses and sauce and condiments and cooking it with bouillon cubes. 

hmmm okie! i am tagging: @onequeerruffian @mothghhost @hitofthesearchparty

(no pressure though)

[archaeopter-ace]

So bradsmindbrain pointed this out in their most recent post, but since Ted has a son in the comics, does this make him a dilf? Discuss.

My immediate thought was ‘I’m too ace for this ask,’ lol, but I like receiving asks in good faith so I’m going to do my best to answer anyway. I will certainly get things wrong. And this probably isn’t the discussion you were hoping for, it's just where my mind went.

Plant sex is weird. So is animal sex, to be fair. We spent a week in EvoBio class talking about how weird it is that any organism has sex at all, because if you have good genes why would you risk combining them with inferior genes; wouldn’t you want to asexually clone yourself indefinitely? (The answer has to do with being responsive to changes in environmental conditions).

Sex feels pleasurable to encourage organisms to reproduce [citation needed]. This means that a lot of animals have courtship displays, or otherwise try to be attractive to members of the same species. Plants do not do this. Plants are not trying to attract other plants; they are trying to attract pollinators, species from a completely different phylum altogether. Unless they are wind-pollinated, in which case they just have to be willing to expose themselves. Or unless they engage in any number of asexual reproductive strategies available to plants.

Things plants are attracted to: sunlight, and an upwards direction (negative gravitropism). Does a plant feel pleasure in meeting this attraction? Quite possibly. Is that pleasure sexual in nature? Probably not.

I still remember the last question on my Botany exam: “What are two things you learned in this class that you will never forget?” and years later, I have not forgotten my answers: 1) that angiosperm reproduction is more complicated than you think. I correctly guessed that I would not remember exactly how it was complicated, but I do remember that there’s actually two generations of tissue inside every acorn. Like after the ovum is pollinated it sort of has sex with itself, copying genes and combining them again, so that the sapling that eventually grows is actually the grandchild of its parents. 2) Tomatoes, at least in the U.S., are legally vegetables, due to a 19th century Supreme Court ruling.

My point is, on the one hand, it is dubious that plants experience sexual gratification. On the other hand, plant monsters are fictional, and this is fandom, so truthfully the diversity of the plant kingdom can be co-opted to fulfill any and all kinks a person might have, and then some. (He’s got tentacles on his face, I know what that means.) Conclusion: Ted fucks, but it’s very weird, and probably psychic. 

But that wasn’t your question! Your question was whether or not he’s a dilf. And here, I don’t think he fits the profile. Because the way the mainstream uses milf and dilf are actually fundamentally different, imo. Milf has been around for a while, iirc it was definitely mainstream by the time Gilmore Girls used it in a commercial. But from what I’ve gathered from rom-coms, milfs are sexy despite being moms, rather than because of it. (*obviously there’s plenty of people who feel different, I’m just going with broad-strokes impressions, here, based on heterosexual rom-coms.)

Why a milf designation would be needed to describe an attractive woman comes, I think, from the fact that (again, according to movies), already having kids is a ‘red flag’ to bachelors looking for a partner. A milf is also likely to be an older woman, and there was data published (but not peer-reviewed, to my knowledge) by the OkCupid founder that found that while women were most attracted to men the same age as them, men of all ages found women in their early twenties most attractive (to be fair, men were most interested in women closer to their own age). So, statistically, older women are seen as less attractive by society. Hence a milf designation, to say that this woman is sexy despite her age.

For dilfs, the calculus is different. Women are already more likely to find older men attractive (again, apologies for the heteronormativity of this data. Gay men with daddy kinks are an important part of our queer community. Also older gay and bi and pan men in general, and nonbinary folk attracted to older men, etc. etc., I just don’t have the data. Quite possibly ‘dilf’ as a term is used almost exclusively by the queer community, in which case I’m just completely barking up the wrong tree. I just don’t know what I'm talking about). 

So what makes a dilf different from just any single man is fatherhood; sexy because he’s a dilf. Now, fatherhood could be sexy for kink reasons, or it could be that it’s used as an indication of being a caregiver, having a nurturing personality. Toxic masculinity says that men don’t actually enjoy taking care of kids; dilfs say otherwise. I think a really good example of this is the comparison of Hugh Jackman on two different magazine covers - in one, he’s Wolverine; shirtless, flexing, and scowling. On the women’s magazine cover, he’s smiling and wearing a sweater/jumper/pullover/idk what they call it in Australia. 

I could be waaaaaaaay off base. I’m not tapped into actual dilf discourse to know what people are actually talking about. But based on my guesses, Ted is not a dilf, because he’s an absentee father. Even when he was still present, he was emotionally absent. This isn't to say he's not a nurturing guy! Just that, if he is, it's not because of fatherhood. (*I've read a limited number of Man-Thing comics, I mostly know him from cameos and summaries, so I don't know how accurate my characterization is)

[the-named-anon]

Hi yeah so I got a little heated in the tags but if you want to learn some stuff about bees you should read it!! It’s like a whole essay though.

Wild that folks keep saying beekeepers abuse bees as if bees are not both venomous flying animals and fully unionized

[sunshinesukuna]

hogwarts school of sorcery and sweethearts

✨pairing : magic!kuroo x magic!reader

✨genre: fluff

✨tw: light swearing

✨ insp: adore you - harry styles, samaras - debbie morena, tt - twice

✨ do y’all just find an amv with a song that slAPS but the song lyrics are just so weird?? so you’re searching through google like ‘indicocoa huhaa’ or other shit like ‘bacardi blowjobs’ or smtn like that? haha lol. anyway, enjoy 3.5k of kuroo simpin’ over you. 

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨��𝐬 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐢: 𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 (𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧) | 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢: 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐛𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲 (𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧)

Sorceress Saeko’s Guide to Helpful Herbs and Plants 

The Laughing Lily is a species of magical plant native to Eastern to Southeastern Asia, but was introduced to western shores circa 1500 AD by magical merchants. Characterized by brilliant flowers and stems and leaves that move quite like snakes, these plants have been known to be lethal if not handled properly. It is advised to strike up a mutual respect with them before handling. Their namesake “laughing” is not actually laughing, but more of the sound their flowers make to attract pollinators, both magical or not. Known pollinators include Blast Ended Skrewts, Flobberworms, and Nifflers.

Kuroo didn’t know where to look anymore. Out of all the books in the library, years of Professor Sprout’s teaching expertise, and everyone that he asked, no one could explain to him how the hell mandrake respiratory systems work. And there was going to be a test on Wednesday? Well now he was thoroughly fucked.

Kuroo put his head on the table. Every inch of the desk he was working on was covered in parchment and books. He cast a simple arranging spell, and the books flew into a neat stack on top of one another. If possible, he mussed up his already messy hair. It now looked like a swarm of Blubbering Humdingers had taken residence in his black locks.

"You've been moaning and groaning all week, Kuroo,” Kenma said. Kenma put his legs on the other side of the couch. He fiddled with his wand. 

"It's nothing. I just can't wrap my head around mandrake respiratory systems, you know?" Kenma sighed as he flipped through Kuroo’s books. 

"This is third-year material, Kuroo,” Kenma said, not looking up from one of Kuroo’s textbooks. “Is Quidditch the only thing that's inside your head?" Kuroo scoffed. 

“Hey! I’m good at Transfiguration, okay?”

“Well it looks like this was the trade off.”

“You think so?”

“Hm. Well maybe someone in your year could help you.” Kuroo’s ears instantly perked up at the suggestion, but he slouched back in his seat again once he realised what Kenma was implying

“And you think I haven’t asked everybody to help me?” Kuroo asked. He raised his hands in defeat. The volume of his hair seemed to deflate along with his ego.

“No.” Kenma gave him a blank stare. His pupils dilated before the candlelight, reflecting the flame in his dark eyes. He shrugged.

“So who should I—” 

The Fat Lady’s boisterous laughter waned from the inside as you closed the door behind you. Even though it was already dark in the middle of January, sweat dripped off of you like dew on morning grass. A large clay pot was balanced in between your arms, holding a plant with magnificent neon flowers that buzzed around in the air like angry bees. 

Kenma pointed his chin to your wobbling form that was stumbling up the stairs, obviously having a hard time with the heavy weight between your arms.

“(Y/N)?” Kuroo asked. Kenma nodded and went back to his book, not saying another word.

To say that you and Kuroo were friends was an exaggeration. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to you, it was more like he couldn’t. Whenever he found the time or energy to strike up a conversation with you, one of his friends would always whisk him away to do something else. The most you had exchanged were simple nods and pursed-lip smiles.

Kuroo sucked on his teeth as he thought about how to approach you. He couldn’t just knock the girl’s dorm door and say, “Hey, (Y/N) I need your help and I’m doomed if I don’t get it.” Nor could he plop down right next to you and suddenly ask about your favourite Quidditch teams in the hope that you would reply. He didn’t want to startle you.

Kuroo clicked his tongue. “Do you perhaps have someone else in mind?” Kuroo asked Kenma. 

Kenma shrugged half-heartedly. Kuroo massaged the space between his eyebrows in frustration. 

This was a new problem altogether.  He could have just asked Professor Longbottom, but his constant paranoia that Kuroo wouldn’t understand the subject made Kuroo even more confused than he was before meeting him.

Opportunity struck the next morning at breakfast. Amidst the stacks of various breakfast foods, you were perched on a bench near your friends. A copy of the Daily Prophet in hand, you seemed to pay no mind to the magical flowers that— quite literally— slithered their way around your head. They didn’t even seem to bother you one bit. You must be invincible in tickle wars, Kuroo thought. 

He shook off any unnecessary thoughts in his mind. Taking a deep breath, he marched off to where you sat. Kuroo sat down next to you. 

“Good morning,” you said, looking up from the newspaper. “Oh, hi Kuroo!” Kuroo gave you the warmest smile he could muster. He hoped that he didn’t look like that Slytherin second year when he smiled. What was his name again? Kagetora? Koganegawa? Kageyama? 

He was snapped out of his thoughts by a sudden lunge from one of your flower-snakes on your head. Startled, Kuroo raised his hands to defend himself. He did not account for the glass of pumpkin juice in his hand. It landed with a magnificent splash on both of your robes.

“Stop that!” you cried. The plants on your head stilled with a flick of your wand. You looked down at the wet puddle on your pants. Kuroo muttered a Hot-Air Charm to dispel it.

“I’m sorry, I just—” Kuroo apologized.

“No, no, it’s not your fault,” you interrupted. “Professor Sprout gave me these Leaping Lilies to take care of for the week, and,” you peeled a stray leaf off your hair, “I haven’t yet found out how to tame them exactly.”

“Ah.” What was he supposed to say now? Should he risk being seen as too straightforward and directly ask for your help? Or should he stretch it out a bit? No, breakfast time was almost over. 

“Um, (Y/N),” he said. His eyes were suddenly looking at the two of yours. There was an expectant look in your eyes that derailed Kuroo’s train of thought.

“Can you do me a favour?” You cocked an eyebrow.. The Leaping Lilies around your head seemed to glare at Kuroo. He shook off their stare and started to formulate his words.

“What’s up?” you asked.

“Do you know how Mandrakes work? Their organs, diet, habitats, all that?” You nodded. “Could you maybe… study with me sometime? I’m struggling a lot with them.”

You parted your lips a little. Did you think he was being a little overbearing? Did he say something wrong?

"If you explain it to me,” Kuroo sputtered, ”I'll save you premium seats on our match against Slytherin next week." You simply threw your head back and laughed. 

Suddenly, it seemed someone shocked his left shoulder with a bolt of electricity. Kuroo looked at his shoulder. You had put your hand on it, like Kuroo wasn’t just an acquaintance you had bumped into several times prior, or had spilled a cup of pumpkin juice on you earlier.

Had your positions been switched, Kuroo would have just given you a dirty stare and slipped a dose of diluted Shrinking Solution in your orange juice. Thank goodness you were nice. 

"It’s okay, Kuroo. Mandrake anatomy is much more complicated than that of other various magical herbs and fungi."

 Kuroo sighed. Ok. Mission completed. You removed your hand from his shoulder, brushing his collarbone in the process. Saliva pooled in his mouth, but not from the food in front of him. You surely hadn’t put much thought into the touch, but he was starting to get goosebumps from mere skin on skin contact. Aroused or afraid, he didn’t know.

“Although, those premium seats don’t sound too bad,” you said. “I’ll see you later tonight at the common room?” Kuroo nodded. Once you were gone, he pumped his fist in the air and hissed a quiet “Yeah!” under his breath. He had just scored himself a study date.

The roof of the Great Hall twinkled in reflection of the stars above. Classes had ended with few to none mishaps, save for Kuroo’s Hiccuping Solution blowing up in Bokuto’s face. No mind, nothing that Madam Pomfrey couldn’t fix. 

He spotted you sitting down the table eating with your friends. You had discarded your robes in favour of some more casual clothes, like Kuroo hadn’t caught you in sweatpants and an old T-shirt out of the corner in his eye in the common room before.

This was the first time he was actually paying attention though. Kuroo hesitated to call it ‘staring’,  but what else would it be? His eyes flitted between the friendly banter in front of him and the… rather attractive specimen that he was due to spend time with later. Kuroo focused his willpower on the mashed potatoes in front of him than the fork in your hands.

Supper went on without a hitch. Kuroo refused to touch pumpkin juice, the innocent beverage evoking memories from that morning that he would like to forget as soon as possible. 

Kuroo spotted you walking out the hall with your friends once supper was over. He caught your eyes and pointed his chin back to the dormitories. You muttered a quick excuse to your friends and joined him as you walked back to Gryffindor Tower together.

“So…” Kuroo said, “how’s it going with those Laughing Lilies?” You furrowed your eyebrows. Shit. What was the name of those plants again? Kuroo specifically remembered that they were lilies that tried to attack him, nothing else. 

“Oh!” you exclaimed. “You mean the Leaping Lilies.” Ah, shit. You were going to think that he was a rude fool that couldn't even remember the names of a simple plant. Not to mention that you were that passionate about them. But you shrugged instead. “They’re doing alright.”

You made small conversation with him on the journey back. Talks about Quidditch, annoying professors, and the newest wizarding discoveries in the field of Herbology. The little eye-twitch you did whenever you laughed made Kuroo giggle like a lovesick schoolboy. Hey, who was he to talk? Maybe he was one after all.

The common room was filled with the usual hustle bustle of the Gryffindors. Kenma sat in his usual armchair near the fireplace. Upon seeing you enter besides Kuroo, he raised an eyebrow. Kuroo gave him a wink. Kenma sighed and went back to his book wordlessly. 

Kuroo's books were already out on the table when you went upstairs to get yours. the result of half an hour of contemplation over which books to put on the top of his stack to make him seem knowledgeable enough. He allowed himself to slouch back and close his eyes. When he opened them, you were standing in front of him with a dark green book in your hand and your lips too close for comfort. Kuroo snapped to attention right then and there.

“If you’re tired, we can do this another time, you know?” you said. Kuroo waved his hand.

“No, I’m alright," he replied. You opened your book in front of him.

“Okay,” you replied, your voice tinted with uncertainty. You pulled a strand of your hair back as you took out your quill and parchment.

"So a Mandrake has six main organ systems..." you started. 

Was it wrong to say that Kuroo studied your mannerisms more than the mandrakes? Bumping into your hand when reaching for a new piece of parchment. His attention not on the diagram you were holding, but on your lips that were explaining. Kuroo could feel Kenma roll his eyes from behind him. Surely, your smile was the devil’s whisper leading him astray from the topic at hand. 

And it wasn’t just the way you looked either. Your words flowed with both a confidence and passion that sprouted from your love of the theme. Unlike the previous people he had come to for help, you spoke in your own words. Layers of textbook unclarity dissipated beneath your understanding, and for a second, Kuroo caught himself marvelling at how passionate you were at this. That and your constant checking on Kuroo; making sure that he had understood every section you went over, made him fall harder and harder.

Kuroo felt like skydiving; the gravity of your smiles pulling him farther and farther away from the clarity of his mind that was long forgotten in the skies above. Free falling through the clouds had never felt this good before. He would do it every waking second of his life if it meant he could experience the dopamine and adrenaline coursing through his brain like this. 

“Thank you so much, (Y/N),” he said, when you two were finally done. You had been kind enough to lend him your notes and observations to help him with Professor Sprout’s subject. 

“It’s no problem, Kuroo.” None of you dared talk, afraid to disrupt the quiet cooperation that you had slowly built up over the last four hours. Your books were in hand, ready to accompany back to your dorms. As were Kuroo’s.

“You could-" you adjusted a stray lock of hair, “you could come to me again for help if you need it, you know?” 

“Sure.” Kuroo bobbed his head, excitement coursing through him at the thought of another one of these meetings with you. “Think I will.”

The day of the match rolled around faster than Kuroo thought it would. It seemed just like an hour had passed between getting his test back from Professor Sprout (marked with a bright ‘Outstanding’, thank you very much) and gearing up for the fifth game of the season. 

Kuroo’s crimson robes fluttered in the wind as he waited for you to come. Thirty more minutes before the match was due to start, and you were nowhere in sight. A steady stream of students had began coming down by now, some asking why Kuroo was shooing them away from perfectly empty, usable seats. Sweat trickled down between his palms and the leather gloves he wore.

He let out a breath of relief, then sucked it back in in anticipation when he saw you arrive on the bleachers. You ran as quickly as you could to take the seats which had been so faithfully saved for you. 

"Thanks for the seats, Kuroo," you said. Kuroo pursed his lips and nodded.

"No problem." 

An awkward silence blanketed the two of you. You balanced between the balls and the heels of your feet, not knowing what to say next. One of your friends clapped you on the back and called you to come sit down. 

"I'll be with my friends, yeah? Good luck." And there it was again. That tantalizing touch of yours that made Kuroo want to ditch the game in favour of a boring class or a lazy night, given that it was with you. Your touch lingered on his arm as you retreated back to the safety of your close friends. 

"Y-yeah. See ya," Kuroo said, not realizing that you had left by now. As he went back to the dugout, he found himself stroking the spot on his arm where your hand had been just moments ago. January afternoons weren’t supposed to be this hot, were they? 

"Oya? Is that the girl that Kuroo's been seeing?" a voice asked behind him. Owl-Boy’s shock of black and white hair, frozen in its place by constant flying gave him a nice greeting.

"Wha— I'm not dating her, Bokuto!" Kuroo said. Bokuto’s other owl-eyed friend was hot on his heels with his own comeback. 

"You sure look like you are from the way you give each other googly eyes," Akaashi said. Bokuto laughed at the bright red slowly creeping up Kuroo’s face. 

“Shut it, Akaashi,” Kuroo rebuked. “Back me up here, Kenma.”

“You did look kinda lovestruck when she was in front of you, you know?” Kuroo whipped his head back, a hand over his heart over-exaggerating his betrayal.  

“I’m shocked! Oh, to be stabbed in the back by someone you called a dear friend!” Kuroo moaned. Kenma and Akaashi rolled their eyes. Bokuto, however was at his friends’s side immediately. 

“Who stabbed you in the back?” Bokuto asked. His eyes were filled with genuine panic. “Was it a Levitating Charm? Should we get Madam Pomfrey?” 

“Bokuto-san,” Akaashi’s calm voice called. Akaashi shook his head. Bokuto pouted,  standing back up. 

“Akaashi’s right though, you know?” Kenma muttered.  “Your eyes go kinda like—" Kenma stretched out his eye sockets with his fingers; he looked like a corpse that had been given a rude awakening. Kuroo scoffed. 

The joking was cut off by a loud bell outside, signalling that the players would need to get ready. The Gryffindor players circled around Kuroo. 

“Alright, let’s do this, Gryffindor!” Kuroo said. Friendly Schoolboy Kuroo had switched his place with Quidditch Captain Kuroo. “What’s our plan this time around, Kenma?”

Kenma looked up. “Um, if any of the Bludgers could land a hit on Kageyama and MIya Atsumu, that would be great. Other than that… playing normally shouldn’t be a problem.” Kuroo put his hands on his hips, in his best rallying stance. 

“Alright you all!” The Gryffindor Quidditch Team put their hands in the middle of the circle. “We are the blood that flows smoothly and circulates oxygen, so that the brain can work normally.” With a strong “Let’s go!” they marched onto the field.

With the screech of the whistle, they kicked up into the air. 

Kuroo flew like he had never flown before. He would like to say that adrenaline coursing through his veins was from the cheering of the crowd below; but he would be lying once he caught sight of you. A Gryffindor banner was in your hands, the enchanted red and gold glitter blinking from the glare of the sun. You joined the other Gryffindors in support of their house players. His heart swelled in pride when you shouted his name a little louder than the rest.

The game felt like a fanciful daydream his mind would cook up when he was bored during History of Magic. Kuroo’s feet semed to kick through soft clouds as he warded the Quaffles away from the hoops. Sure, some of them occasionally went in, but it was enough of a point gap to let them relax a little. Someone had definitely slipped in a little bit of Felix Felicis into his orange juice that morning. 

Even the Slytherin chasers—who had been hailed as the best chasers Slytherin House has ever seen in a decade— seemed to have a rough time getting through Kuroo. It went without saying; Kuroo felt invincible.

Bokuto caught the Snitch, accompanied with shrieks and wild applause from the crowd. He pumped it into the air, making sure that everyone in the audience would be witness to Gryffindor’s victory. Half-hearted handshakes and enthusiastic claps on the back were exchanged. Kuroo almost revelled in the defeat on the Slytherin’s faces.

Kuroo’s heart was almost close to bursting. His little victories over the past week were proving too much for his heart to take. Little did he know, he would bag another one soon.

“We should bag some cakes from the house elves later!” Bokuto suggested as he changed back into his robes. 

“Like the rest of them haven’t gone and done that already,” Kuroos said. It was a Gryffindor tradition to go and ask the house elves to cook up a feast every time they scored a Quidditch victory.

“Kuroo,” Kenma said from the outside of the locker room, “you’ve got a visitor.” Kuroo walked out into the frigid January air to see your shivering form waiting outside on the benches. 

“Aren’t you cold there?” he asked. You perked up at the sound of his voice. It was kind of cute how you waddled over to where he was standing. Kuroo cast a simple heating spell between the two of you. “What brings you over? Aren’t the others already on their second bottle of butterbeer by now?” 

You giggled. Kuroo felt his heart almost collapse with his second victory of the day; the first being quidditch, this being the second.

“I lost the game of rock paper scissors, so the others sent me down to give this to you all,” you said. From your pocket, you conjured an empty saucer. With a wave of your wand, a plate of crudely decorated pastries emerged. “Great game, by the way.” 

Kuroo’s stomach rolled a little at the sight of the pastries. You nudged the plate in his direction. “Go on, try one!” Tentatively, Kuroo reached for the least-threatening one. A small cupcake with red an yellow icing. 

His stomach did a backflip when he bit into it. But definitely not one of glee. The punch of cinnamon in his nose made him cough up a little bile. The icing stung his tongue with overpowering tones of sea salt and… pepper? 

Nevertheless, Kuroo scoffed the entire fist-sized cupcake down. “These are amazing, you know?” he asked. 

“Really? I made some of them myself, you know?” Ah. Well there had to be a trade off for having such an amazing green thumb, Kuroo thought.

“Well they’re really good,” Kuroo said. He pretended to still be chewing so you wouldn’t force another one upon him. 

“I’ll see you back in the Tower?” you asked. Kuroo pretended to swallow them, nodded his head. 

“Sure thing.” Once he was sure you were out of sight, Kuroo stuffed the pastries into his robe pockets. He even ate another one, a giddy smile on his face.

“Goes to show how much people are willing to do for love,” Akaashi muttered. He gestured to Kuroo who was happily skipping away back to the dorms, the taste of salt and pepper cupcakes still on his tongue.

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐢: 𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 (𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧) | 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

taglist: @yeet-these-hoez​ @differentballooncollection​ 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #374

“doctor, doctor, won’t you please prescribe me something?  /  a day in the life of someone else...”

Does someone have a crush on you but you don’t feel the same way? No. Who do you feel most beautiful around? No one. What’s one makeup item you cannot live without? I could live without any makeup. What’s the most expensive thing you own? My snake, I think. Or my laptop, idr. Are you more of a book person or a TV person? Book. Relationship status? Single. What color are most of your clothes? Black. Did you french kiss before you were 16? No, I was 16. Last song you listened to? "The Heretic Anthem" by Slipknot. Would you ever go back to any of your past relationships? Yes. What’s your favorite thing about life? That's a big question. I guess seeing acts of mass love and kindness, reminders that we're all in this together through all hardships. Who pays for the first date? Whoever asked the other person out, imo. Who has always been there for you? My mom. Have you ever written on a wall? No, at least not to my memory. Do you play any computer games, if so, what ones? I think anyone who reads these by now knows, haha. I don't much play anything else. I prefer console games. What would you name a baby boy if you had one? Probably Damien or Victor. What would you name a baby girl if you had one? Alessandra, no questions asked. What lyric means the most to you? I mean there's tons, but the first one that came to mind is "for such a little thing, you sure are in your own way" from "Get Up" by Mother Mother. Like in the big picture, we humans are so so so minuscule, but with brains that are too complicated for our own good. It's my own head that creates so many obstacles for me. Who is the smartest person you know? Probably my friend Girt. Have your parents ever been to jail? No. Do you share a bed with anyone? My cat, haha. Does it flatter you when guys open doors for you? It's flattering if anyone does, not just guys. Do you enjoy taking naps? Yeah. That's like part of my daily routine. If your friend asked you to hold their drugs, would you? Nope. Is there anyone you try to be a good influence for? My nieces and nephew, but I don't feel like I am. I'm a poor example of an adult. Do you own a pair of fishnets? No, but I have a pair of fingerless fishnet gloves. Which do you prefer: french toast, bagels, pancakes, waffles, bacon or cereal? All are great, but french toast. Yes or no: eyebrow piercings? I'd actually have one if I didn't have glasses. I think I'd look weird with one as I look now. When I say "The Beatles," what is the first song that comes to mind? "Hey, Jude." In your opinion, what is the very worst type of weather? Extremely hot and humid. You can only listen to one band for the rest of your life, who do you pick? Ozzy Osbourne, of course. Can you snap with both of your hands? Yeah, but it's harder with my left. What is something that you had to learn the hard way? For some people, promises don't mean shit. If you could re-paint your bedroom, what color would you paint it? Maybe like a light peach. When was the last time you got butterflies? I think not since Sara told me I look really pretty in eyeliner. ;_; <3 When was the last time you felt like your heart was actually breaking? There was this one time I was listening to "The Ghost of You" by MCR a while after finding out about Jason's mom's death and I just like... broke. When’s the last time you were in a line? When I was getting my second COVID shot. Do you trust the media? HA! Fuck no. If you could kill off one species of animal, which would it be? At first I was appalled by this question, but like... do wasps serve a purpose? Of all fauna, they annoy me the most. I mean bees are already endangered enough, and they prey on them. They don't pollinate, so like... why are you here. I may be mistaken and they have a valuable role, in which case I take all this back. Who’d you last say I love you to? My mom. What’s the most overpaid job in your opinion? I have on idea. Most jobs are underpaid. What’s the last thing you wrote down? I was doing some paperwork at the TMS office on my first day there. When’s the last time you heard a gunshot? I don’t know. What are you looking forward to? Now that my tattoo (which looks fucking stunning, by the way) is out of the way, I can focus on other things. I'm particularly looking forward to hopefully seeing the results of TMS manifest (which should take 3-4 weeks). It sounds horrible, but I'm also keenly awaiting this dog we're stuck with to go somewhere... The person who gave her to my sister to give my mom won't take the dog back, and we can't find another option that doesn't risk her being euthanized, which we absolutely do not want. We just don't know what to do, but she's driving Mom and me INSANE. Do you listen to online radio stations? No. Have you ever done something sexual that you regret? No. Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret? Multiple things. Have you ever ate so much you puked? Ugh, no. That sounds awful. Do you care about what others think of your physical appearance? Very much, sadly. Would you rather eat cookies or brownies? I gotta say brownies. Which YouTuber have you learned the most from? I mean, this depends on the subject. From Mark, I've learned most about life and how (I think) to be a good person, but there's a lot of pet channels I watch that have taught me loads about proper husbandry. This answer just depends on what knowledge you're talkin' about. Who would you want to be the flower girl at your wedding? Probably a niece. Do you want to be married within the next ten years? It'd be nice. Do you feel like your life is too fast-paced, or do you wish it were busier? Ugh, I wish it was busier. My days are a COMPLETE, routine drag. What are some hobbies which you want to pick up? I want to just be more artsy. I wanna draw and write more, and I'd love love love to be in healthy enough shape to handle going on walks with my camera. There are sometimes I miss editing videos, too. I'm unsure about completely new hobbies. Does anyone encourage you to go after your dreams? My family and a few friends. Oh, and definitely my psychiatrist. What group are you most active in on Facebook? None, really. I mostly just observe. Are you ashamed of anything? A number of things. Primarily not having a job at my age or even being in school. What were your favorite Disney rides as a kid? I loved Splash Mountain, I think it was called. What were your favorite rides at Cedar Point? Never been. What are some places you want to visit that you’ve never been? South Africa, Alaska, Canada, Yellowstone National Park, Bahamas, Venice, Rome... What are some places that you’ve been that you’d like to go to again? Disney World, Chicago, and this one super clear lake I swam in once a few hours away that I don't recall the name of. Have you ever owned a succulent? No. While they're pretty, I've never been much of a plant person. Do you support small businesses? I REALLY want to start doing that more when I have the option to buy my own stuff/have my own income. As someone who wants to be a freelance photographer, I get it. Starting an independent business is hard as hell. If a brand were to sponsor you, which brand(s) would you prefer? Uhhh I dunno. Have you read the entire Bible? No. Do you make bucket lists for each season? No. That does sound kinda fun, though. How old were you when you first dyed your hair? I have no idea. Do you dye your hair regularly? No. :/ I desperately want to, though. It's just not something we can afford to spare cash on. What is the most comfortable type of pants, in your opinion? Pajama pants? haha Do you think you could ever be famous? No. I'm way too boring and don't want to be anyway. What are some jobs you’ve had in the past? Sales associate, cashier, and deli worker. None lasted long whatsoever. What are some jobs you want to or would like to have? List five. FIVE? I don't know. I just know I want to be a photographer. Well, being an artist or poet would be very cool. And a reptile breeder, maybe tarantulas, too, but that makes me kinda nervous with JUST how many babies they have. What are some jobs you have considered? In rough order from youth to now: paleontologist, vet, movie director, game designer, author/poet, artist, music video editor, wildlife biologist, photographer... Maybe there's more that just aren't coming to me. Are you thankful for social media, or do you wish it didn’t exist? Depends on the day for me, but I'm generally thankful for it so I can keep up with the lives of people who are important to me. It's just that it's a breeding ground for self-doubt and rampant comparisons that can easily depress me when I see some people are "further ahead" and more "established" than me. What are some of the best medications you’ve ever had? The combined efforts of Latuda and Lamictal saved my life. What was a video you watched over and over as a kid? There were lots of movies, like The Lion King, a certain Barney one when I was very young, and I watched Finding Nemo like crazy. Do you know a lot of people who were loving, and then turned cold? Jason????????????????? Is that you??????????????????????????????????????????? Do you own anything plaid? Ha, what a coincidence, I'm wearing my red plaid pj pants. Are you good at remembering names? Definitely not. Have the cops ever gotten on to you for anything before? No. What email thingy do you use? (yahoo, gmail, rock) ... Rock? lol anyway my main is Hotmail, but I inevitably have a gmail to have a YouTube account. What game system(s) do you own? PS2, Wii, Nintendo DS Lite, and a GameBoy Advance. Are you any good at Guitar Hero? I used to be; I played most songs on Expert, then some really tough ones on Hard. I was soooooo addicted to those games. I remember when I got the first one for Christmas, I literally played it all day. Have you ever played Call of Duty? Nah, not my jam. What is your favorite/most visited website? YouTube. Is your bed comfortable? Sure. I've definitely had way worse. Do you have a garage? No. Fun fact, I've never lived in a house with one. Should you be doing anything right now? What? There's a number of things I could be doing that are definitely more productive, like finishing decorating my damn room. Do doctors or dentists make you more nervous? Not really. I only ever get nervous to hear my weight at the doctor's. Did you ever think you were about to die before? I don't quite know. When I ODed, it was more like I didn't care if I did. Have you ever really had a near death experience? Was it cool? "Was it cool." Literally fuck off. I guess you could technically consider my OD a "near death experience," especially given how many pills I took, yet I somehow experienced almost no ill symptoms. Maybe because we got to the ER for fluids quickly enough, idk. I'm just glad I didn't die. What is your favorite kind of weather? Snowy! Like a steady snowfall of large flakes with no breeze and total silence. *chef's kiss* Ever tasted beer? Ugh, no. Just the smell makes me sick. It was my dad's drink of choice when he was an alcoholic so I just have a very negative association with it. Have you ever seen a dead body? Yes, at an open-casket wake. Ever poured salt on a slug? As kids, my sisters and I would get our parents to do it because they grossed us out. So, so cruel. I still have this weird but pretty extreme phobia of them, but I wouldn't torture the things like that.

[broodygaming]

Hey! I'm starting to get into homesteading (starting with just 3 chickens and a veggie garden, but I have an end goal of growing most of my own food) and was wondering if you had any advice? Also, idk if you're still having issues with rats getting your chicks, but I have pet rats and they HATE peppermint. It hurts their noses. If you put a bunch of fresh peppermint in the box with the chicks, it might help mask their scent and deter the rats

Helloooo 

Thanks for asking me, i feel so cool haha. I’m gonna publish this, I hope you don’t mind! (This is long lol)

Here are some basic tips: 

I’m very very poor, so a lot of what I do revolves around the cheapest and sturdiest options. I want to use what I have and make it last! Learning how to reuse literally everything is a big skill. And being unafraid to let things be ugly or to pick up “trash” and reuse it is priceless. My coop is JANKY af, but it works and it was free! 

Know your land! If you’ve been there for a while, A+. If not, try (if you can) to wait a full year and really get a feel for how your land functions on its own. Work WITH nature, not against it. (Don’t put your coop on the shady side of your workshop where it floods every winter PRO FUCKING TIP). 

Start from seed when possible! Getting a good system for starting from seed indoors saves SO MUCH MONEY. I always feel cheated when I see people with big luscious gardens at the start of May - then I remember a lot of them shelled out literal hundreds on started plants when my babies were only maybe 20$ cumulatively and I have triple the amount of plants. Just takes a little longer. 

Don’t get more animals until you have the infrastructure! Haha, this is something everyone’s done. I was up in my goat pen ripping up rotted floors in 95 degree weather cuz I knew my goats would be ready the next day and I was NOT ready. Very stressful. One of the most stressful days of having goats and I hadn’t even had them yet LOL. 

Enjoy your animals and your garden! Take photos! Post them online! The little feedback I get from here (including asks like this) totally fire me up. It’s important to have pretty things, they keep you going on muddy shitty days when all you want to do is sleep. There’s loads of edible flowers that will help your garden and attract pollinators! (Like nasturtiums, cone flowers, marigolds, thyme ETC). 

I learned everything I know pretty much from Youtube. Hopefully that doesn’t sound like a copout, but I want to be honest! 

I love the channels Roots and Refuge Farm , Justin Rhodes and Weed em and Reap.  (In that order haha. Jess from Roots and Refuge is the BEST. Everyone else is either kinda rich or trying to sell you something, but the information is useful). 

PS Thanks for the tip on mint! I planted a bunch of starts I splurged on (Some things are just impossible to start from seeds without a fancy setup, mint is one of them.......) all around my coop and they’re taking off. It’s super invasive, but in this area I’d be totally fine with it taking over. My goats don’t love them, which is ideal so they’re leaving them alone. In a few years the whole coop will smell minty fresh! My rat problem HAS gone down, but I think that has more to do with my brothers cat.... But the mint definitely threw them off! Totally if you’re going to have chickens get a head start on planting herbs and flowers for them to eat. I have a whole chicken flower garden going where they love to take dust baths and it’s such a joy. 

wow I’m so sorry this is an essay, I can talk about farming for hours.

[labyrinth-runner]

Which Fic...

Tagged by @anakinswhore

I had to break out the master lists for this. ALSO. I’m leaving out any sinful sunday things for this lol

…did you think would get a bigger reaction/audience than it got?

Oh gosh. Literally any of my song fics? Like literally any of the Obidala ones.  Specifically Guys My Age and One Thing. I also had high hopes for Senate Submission (Obidala) and Love Drunk (Obi-Wan) and I feel like those both flopped.

Also The Greatest Thing. It’s one of those things where you put hours and hours of effort into it and no one really reads it, so that’s discouraging.

…got a better reaction than you expected?

A Garden in Gotham. When it comes to fics on here, it’s definitely the one series that’s garnered the most asks. 

Also, Pirate!Obi. Everyone seems to love him.

Off of here, my most popular fic is actually Come What May, which is my modern AU Obidala fic but it’s also very centered around Obi-Wan and Anakin’s bromance (they’re foster brothers in my AU).

…is your funniest?

Oh gosh. I have a lot of funny one liners that I sneak into things that no one ever catches onto. But. Probably either Come What May, or Hauntober Day 25, Crystals. I’m here for the roasting of Anakin for losing his lightsabers

…is your darkest/angstiest?

Oh gawrsh.

I feel like there are bits and pieces of darkness in my multi-chapter fics.

Come What May deals with grief for a stretch.

Aconite in the Night from AGiG was sinister.

The Greatest Thing has a lot of angst here and there.

Senate Submission is dark in the sense that what he does is fucked up.

There’s one oneshot I wrote where I wrote it based off Obi at the end of the slave trade arc in TCW.

…is your absolute favorite?

Fuck. Guys My Age, Come What May, and Some Like it Hot for Obidala

For Obi-Wan x Reader... Love Drunk and the Pirate!Obi oneshot where he goes back to reader’s home.

I’m also hella proud of my Alex Law Series. And The Greatest Thing.

…is your least favorite?

My Obi x Reader fic Settle Down, purely because it was my first and I used “Y/N” instead of you and Y/N is my pet peeve in x Reader fics.

Also, Unholy Version 3. I wrote Padmé cheating on Anakin and I feel guilty about it.

…was the easiest to write?

Come What May at times because I’m purely writing that fic for my own self healing and indulgence. And the Banter just comes so easily.

…was the hardest to write?

The Greatest Thing. I’ve done. So. Much. Research. When I wrote that fic.

Also, Across the Stars. It’s my Obi x OC fic that I literally haven’t touched since I wrote the first part. RN it just lives on AO3. 

…has your favorite line/exchange/paragraph? (share it)

Okay so I’ve got like two.

Come What May, Ch 13

"I don't think I will ever get used to talking about him in the past tense," he said hollowly. Her heart broke for him.

"Obi, you don't have to. I don't think it's something anyone would ever get used to. He was your father, and the idea that he should have been around a lot longer isn't something odd. If it helps you to talk about him as if he's just gone out and he's going to come back for now, then you should," she said gently. "This is still fresh and raw for you. You will heal, but you have to heal at your own pace. You don't have to force yourself to haphazardly stitch up the wound. That will only make it worse. It'll either get infected, or it won't heal properly and you'll be left with a scar."

"Padmé, I'm sorry," he replied, looking off to the side. She could see the unshed tears building in his eyes again.

"Look at me," she said, gently cupping his face and refocusing him on her. "You do not have to apologize for grieving. You will always be grieving this loss. Sometimes you'll have good days, and sometimes there will be days where you see something and it'll remind you of him so much that you'll want to break down. But no matter what, those feelings are valid. He's your dad, Obi, and nothing will change that fact. But, you need to give yourself time. You shouldn't push yourself too hard to be okay, because you're not. That's not to say you won't eventually be okay, but right now you're not and that is perfectly fine. It's human. There's no correct way to grieve, but you need to grieve."

"Padmé, I..." he trailed off, a soft smile forming on his face as he looked at her. She wanted to ask him to finish his thought, but this wasn't about her right now. Instead, she used her thumb to flick away a stray tear.

And... In The Greatest Thing, Chapter One

"Is a woman not a flower?" she asked in response. "If one looked at the ball room like a bird in a tree looks over a garden, would they not see the same sight? Women in colorful dresses, putting on their best airs and making themselves colorful enough to be wanted in order to attract the bees of men."

His brow furrowed at her words. "You speak like a poet. Darling, what's wrong with attracting a bee?"

She smiled knowingly, wagging a pointed finger at him like she used to when they were children and she needed to teach him a lesson. "Bees pollinate flowers. They spread the pollen 'round and round. Bees have the ability to seek out other flowers when theirs start to wither and die. Bees don't have to tend to the flower as it dies on the vine," she gently reached out to hold a dying rose, smiling sadly at it. "No one wants the flower when its not at its best, for they don't truly love the flower. If they did... they'd know that the flower still had so much more to give, even after it looses its beauty."

He smiled at her as he softly asked, "And if someone cherished the flower in all forms?"

"Because they respected the flower or merely because they saw the usefulness of the flower?" she countered as she released the flower to regard him. She didn't quite realize it, but she was holding her breath as she awaited his answer.

"Perhaps they respect the flower, missing it terribly when it doesn't grow back every year. Still, as they're in the garden, they think of the flower and how the garden isn't quite the same without it," he replied.

"You missed me?" she asked breathlessly.

"Are we no longer discussing flowers?" he chuckled.

"Were we ever discussing flowers?" she countered with a raised brow.

…have you re-read the most?

Okay so. I know I said I wouldn’t talk about sinful sunday but. I think the ones I reread the most are the Imperial Obi Sinful Sundays And the one that I think I have titled “Dirty Talk meets breaking the bed’

…would you recommend to someone reading your work for the first time?

Tbh, I’d just direct them to my Masterlist of Masterlists and tell them to go at it. But, if you want to really get to know me, truly, deeply know me... Come What May, which is only on a03 and ff.net, and The Greatest Thing, because TGT is truly a labor of love.

…are you most proud of?

The first like. 8 chapters of The Greatest Thing. Those were truly like next level, Jane austen tier metaphors and writing and I am proud of it, even if no one reads it lmao. I get it, no one likes OCs, but I didn’t want to spend the whole fic using “you” because that just gets so repetitive. But, I also love the one shot that inspired TGT as well.

Tagging any of my writer friends, @sabinemorans @goldenkenobi @the-mandalorian-clone-lover

[phoebehalliwell]

Any thoughts on a cupidlighter? (cupid-whitelighter) What kind of powers they might have? Like, would they develop new hybrid powers? (Orbeaming? Lol)

Okay. So. i actually think about the differences between cupids & whitelighter relatively frequently (i can say at the very least more frequently than any normal person) because in my next gen fic we have both cupitches and witchlighters, and while we already have a basic 411 on a witchlighter hybrid because of paige, chris, & wyatt, we saw really next to nothing on how cupids function as they were only in a total of like eight or nine episodes. but it’s established cupids are a different species and while cupids & whitelighters share some powers with similar functions (both have a form a teleportation & of sensing), i think the ways they tap into these powers is completely different. broad strokes, if a whitelighter and a cupid switched bodies, they would have trouble beaming/orbing respectively, because it would require a different set of skills/mentality.

so let’s start with whitelighters bc we’ve got a little more lore on them to start with. they are a species completely ruled by logic. there are clearly A Lot of rules in place for whitelighters, ranging from general “don’t fall in love with your charge” to the hella specific “don’t eat on the job, wear you formal robes to meetings”. we literally get the quote “a whitelighter who's controlled by his emotions is useless.” so uh. yeah. that and they clearly serve a higher power (the elders), and to displease them is to have your wings clipped. now, we could get into some speculation here bc while the elders are a higher council of whitelighters the do act as the guide/leaders of all users of white magic, no matter the species. so like we could say that what a whitelighter should have originally been was one who was always compelled to do good and help others and they initially operated off their basic instinct, and then the formed a casual system you know assigning charges to make sure every witch/future whitelighter was receiving the guidance they needed, and then that grows into this and this grows into that and we see the elders rise as the beacon of good magic, the moral compass to guide the world (and who better to watch over good magic than beings who are literally hand picked due to their amazing capacity to do good?). but now it’s sorta a uhh what’s the word you know that thing where something feeds off its own energy and growing bigger and bigger because every time you’re doing it your building off your last iteration and nothing’s really driving you to do it at this point other than the fact you feel like you need to improve the last phase into a bigger and better phase it’s very cyclical and i swear there’s a colloquialism for it but i just can’t put my finger on it Anyway it become a that situation where the elders are the leaders of the magical community so they need to be presentable and they need to be dignified and they can’t be a clownass bc then it seems like the elders as a whole are clownasses (which i aint saying anything butttttt) and because of all this whitelighters as a whole, over the centuries, turn away from that sort of intrinsic emotion based free form sitch and become a much more rigid and structured people. because of this, i think powers such as orbing is really guided by a more logical approach. they think of a location, and they can go there. it’s very much done with the mind. sensing is another whitelighter ability that has become less and less attuned to emotions. a whitelighter can sense when their charge is in trouble, but we really don’t get any other emotions. however, they can easily sense if there are people in a room, or if a being is evil (note: i know in the s5 opener when piper was kidnapped by necron leo’s like “all i’m sensing is courage” but my counterargument was that was not a normal emotion, that was a magically amped up backfire of a spell that suppressed other emotions and completely flooded one’s system with courage, so i don’t count that really. i would also add, as piper and leo share a very deep, very strong bond, it’s also likely that leo’s ability to sense piper is a lot higher than it would be with any of his other charges).

so now let’s jump to cupids. we have barely any canon on them (which i love), and what we do have i might very well ignore. (there’s a cupid judge?? all cupids are dead babies????? i’m..... yeah i’m not doing that.) the way i see cupids is as beings of love, who are very much ruled by their emotions (the real water signs of the magical world). we know from coop that beaming itself is about emotions, not logic. you can’t think of a place to get there, you feel it (which is why piper and leo kept fucking up their beaming destinations in the finale). when they sense, they sense love, they sense hurt, they sense fear, they sense caution, they sense hope. it’s not a physical thing, it’s not a mental thing, it’s pure, raw emotions. also just while i’m on the topic the way i think cupids work is that they’re just straight up vagabonds, they wander the earth just looking for instances to spark love, there’s no rhyme or reason to it. (like leprechauns how in canon “are like bees, they pollinate the world with luck.” it’s implied they don’t have charges/specific assignments to do with their luck, they just go where the vibes take them. that’s how i like to think cupids work. like love isn’t about reason or logic, so the way they operate shouldn’t be grounded in reason or logic). as far as a higher power they have to answer to, i don’t think that would come from within the cupids. i think while there is a vague social structure base off how long one has been a cupid for, there’s mostly just a sense of fraternity that links them all together. the higher power they answer to is the elders (who honestly i really don’t think they engage with the cupids like At All especially with their focused belief that logic and discipline should be the standard they just really don’t like the loosey goosey energy the cupids have. it think when they called coop bc they felt vaguely guilty for completely shafting her love life was probably the first time they reached out to the cupids in about a century or so).

So. now that i have talked extensively about both species, let’s get into what a cupidlighter would actually look like. for starters, the birth’s gonna be a scandal. romeo and juliet two households both alike in dignity a wild love affair a this a that the other it’s gonna be the talk of the whole magical community. and there are so many questions because how will this child age? which being would they elect to become? what powers will they have? so on and so forth. so two answer my own questions: a whitelighter was once human, and can become human again. it’s established immortality is a gift. i think cupids are naturally immortal (sidenote i think coop had to petition the elders to grant him the ability to age, which they weren’t too keen on bc they’re like dude we already let you marry a witch what more do you want and coop’s like .....to not watch my wife grow old without me??? and they’re like ughhhhhhh but then leo catches wind of this and orbs up there like heartless motherfuckers?? coop’s love for phoebe is pure don’t subject them to this horrible curse???? jesus christ aren’t you supposed to be the good guys? stop and think about your actions for like 90 seconds you callous fucks??? and the elders are like 😐😐 okay coop can age. and like the younger whitelighter are like can we talk like that? and the older ones are like nooooooo that’s a leo thing they like cannot kill him). so, in conclusion, i think a cupidlighter would age like a mortal, but at an insanely slow rate (think like asgardians to humans in the mcu. but like. maybe not that slow). what will they become, a whitelighter or a cupid: i think they would be raised/trained in the ways of both, and then once they’re like in their twenties you know they’ve been alive for almost a century they would probably settle and decide what they will act as, which really depends on who they are as a person (but let’s be real it’s gonna be cupids who wants to serve those stuffy ass elders with their suckass playbook). as to what powers they would have, i am honestly going to say All Of Them. because there’s no witch in them there’s no concept of a dominant/active power. so they just like. can do it all. (and hell yes to the orbeaming which i am definitely looks like orbing but instead of a blue light and tiny white orbs its a pink like with small ass lil hearts 💞💕). so the teleportation magic would fuse into a new power and the sensing would fuse into just a superior version of sensing, they can heal like a whitelighter they can manipulate time like a cupid they just. they get everything. But. a lot of the powers have different triggers than they normally would. i would say orbeaming would definitely be a more difficult form of teleportation to master than orbing or beaming on its own. i think the time manipulation, which should be ruled by the cupid half, would end up having a more whitelighter trigger, meaning they’re going to have to figure that one out on their own because the cupids don’t know how to teach it to them and the whitelighters don’t have that power. so while they really have a long list of powers, mastering them is much more difficult than it would be for any non-hybrid.

and if i’m doing a bonus round (and i’m Always doing a bonus round) here are my thoughts on a cupitchligher. so we’ve got a couple options here a cupitch was a relationship with a whitelighter a witchlighter has a relationship with a cupid a cupitch and a witchlighter have a relationship a cupidlighter has a relationship with a witch. i think i’ve covered all my bases. i also think all of these would yeild a great range of magic results, but the baseline common traits would be like 1. good person, like an incredibly good person bc they have the whitelighter instinct to help people in need the cupid impulse to spark and nuture love And on top of that the witch’s need to protect the innocent. bro you’ve got such a good person on your hands. and then 2. their witch powers would be amplified by their other halves. okay so you’ve got a tribrid so you know they’re already going to be strong but this is like a merphoenichaun where all the sides are magical but like,, unrelated, this is three sides working in absolute harmony to amplify one another. a witch’s powers come from their emotions and the cupid side helps boost that and the whitelighter side not only adds its own extra punch but it also works to hone it through the inherent discipline that has become ingrained into whitelighter dna.

[pigeonfancier]

It’s been almost a year since the last time I fainted, I think, if not a bit over one, and it’s a little strange to be back to that.. characteristic wooziness and being off-balance. Pulse has been high as a kite the last two days, and I’ve got natural hypotension, so I suspect this is just because my blood pressure is trying to reach normal levels, and the rest of my body is rebelling from sheer rage. This is 24/7 chill zone: what does it think it’s doing? If my blood pressure wants to work, the rest of my body says, spiteful, then it’ll just pass out and make sure none of it can work! That’ll show it!

My body is a spiteful toddler in a lot of ways. Unfortunately, (un)like real spiteful toddlers, you cannot place them in the baby bouncer and walk away. Or does sleep count as that..?

My cousin was down in Virginia, and was apparently leading a good, quiet life that my aunt was very proud of. I haven’t gotten many details and I super do not want to: this is one case in which I am perfectly fine to let other people do the emotional labour, lol. Darcel is sick with tonsilitis, so I just baked a bunch of food for her to freeze/unfreeze/eat, got her some sweets, and I am letting her siblings handle it. My family is not especially close in the first place, nor prone to any tragedies within my lifetime, so there really isn’t any scripts for this, but it all seems to be working out okay.

My garden is doing pretty well! Greenhouse is finally almost done, which I am jittering hopefully over. I need to move some plants to it, because something is eating the hell out of my spinach and brussel sprouts, and has moved onto my poor fucking trees. I suspect it is caterpillars. I always suspect it is caterpillars! Technically, they’re good for the environment, but I fear and loathe butterflies, and the caterpillars eat my plants, so.. at what cost?

Too great of one. :’( So I’m moving AOC and Buttigieg to the backyard to protect them, and the spinach plants onto the greenhouse shelving, so they’re far away from any caterpillar hideaways. Not right now, but sometime either today or tomorrow!

Speaking of bugs, though: I found out the other day I am not allergic to wasps, unlike my father and my sister! I was on a call, out gardening, merrily defending the wasp buzzing near me as being “cute” and “harmless” and “it is pollinating flowers, it’s fine, it doesn’t give a shit about me!”, when it swung over, bit / stung me on the neck, and then resumed pollinating. I’m still not sure which action it actually performed: I know it hurt enough for me to immediately get up, go inside, and apply lanolin and get Benandryl in about thirty seconds total, but by the time I got out of the automatic action path, it didn’t hurt much at all. Either way, I’ve decided wasps may be adorable, but they are my fucking enemies and I will not tolerate them near me.

I was trying to defend him, and he bit me! The bastard.

[kookaifoundation]

tagged by @ichibankasuga who has very good video game opinions! thank u

Instructions: Tag 10 followers you want to get to know better

Name: leon. unfortunately i was still ashamed enough when i named myself that i didnt choose Count Boochie Flagrante but we all make mistakes

Gender:

Male™

Star sign: libra but didnt they change it around recently? idk i might be virgo now

Height: 5'2. im not mad about it

Sexuality:

Hogwarts house: ion do that shit

Favorite animal: this is going to sound lame but GOD i am fascinated by megabats. theyre wonderful creatures... their childbirth process is so funny to watch bc they do give birth upside down and so without the aid of gravity the baby's head gets out first and it just. chills there and looks around for like 10 mins before it fully pops out. theyre also important pollinators which is something many ignore... they dont deserve what ppl are doing to them

Average hours of sleep: anywhere from 7-10 hours

Blankets you sleep with: just one big comforter... its starting to get hot here though so ive been sending her to cover my legs only 😔

Dream job: if my brain worked right id love to be either a writer or a narrative director for video games! for like my entire life ive been really good at formulating worlds and storylines and one of the things im best at is scenarios for games as embarrassing as that is to admit LMAO... both of those positions take a lot of cooperation with other ppl and dealing with deadlines and whatnot but if ur not familiar with them a narrative director just talks with the writer and then verbally (or through email idk) fistfights other teams to make sure important scenes get executed correctly and have the right amount of time and resources put into them. i cant possibly interact with ppl As A Job but it sounds fun and plus a requirement of it is u HAVE to get hyped about ur work and i love immersing myself in good stories so. :)

When I made my blog: uhhhhhhhh. 2012 LOL

Followers: last time i checked it was somewhere around 1092 i think?

Why I made a tumblr: OKOKOKOK i remember in middle school RIGHT BEFORE i made my acct on a school pc i saw a post w this fucking gif and im like 90% sure its what made me join

Reasons for my URL: xenosaga good. jr good. kookai was taken

Tagging: anybody who wants to do it just say i tagged u :)

[itwasanangryinch]

3...2...1... Happy New Year!!

For the first (?) time, I’m actually going to make and complete a New Years meme, because fuck it, I had a good year. I’m also going to put much shorter answers for last year since I had wanted to do this then, but then... didn’t.

Favourite new (to me) band: Against Me!     5 favourite songs:

The Ocean

White Crosses

True Trans Soul Rebel

I Was a Teenage Anarchist

Norse Truth

I’ve known about Against Me! since lead singer Laura Jane Grace since she came out as trans in 2012 with her Rolling Stone profile, but I hadn’t heard any of their songs until a couple of years ago. This year was the first year I really got into her music (both here and with The Devouring Mothers) after reading her biography Tranny while on vacation in Melbourne.

Runner up: Miss Guy and the Toilet Boys, seen for the first time at Wigstock 2.Ho

2017′s answer: Ataru Nakamura, the very, very talented trans performer who played Yitzhak to JCM’s Hedwig in Japan (and because of the staging, also played Hedwig for the non-singing part of the script.)

Favourite new (to me) city: Melbourne, Australia.

If you had asked me last year, my answer would have been Tokyo, Japan and this year’s is my favourite for much the same reasons: Melbourne is very easy to get around, very fun to walk around, and I got to see the wonderful John Cameron Mitchell perform there.

Melbourne is absolutely beautiful with so many shops to explore and a free (within the few square blocks I mostly kept to) public transport system.

Runner up: Sydney, Australia. Very similar to Melbourne and might have been the favourite if I had been able to stay there longer, but.... schedules.

2017′s answer: Toyko, Japan. For the reasons listed above. I could actually see myself moving to Tokyo at some point. Not right now, but possibly eventually.

Favourite concert: John Cameron Mitchell: The Origin of Love, Brisbane

This year I have seen this concert seven times in addition to one very abridged show in Portland, Oregon to go along with a double header of Hedwig and How to Talk to Girls at Parties.

On this particular date, the band gelled really well; John was in a great mood, great energy; the crowd was incredible..... Everything just... Worked. (Even tho this was the concert I had the least amount of interaction with John afterwards, lol.)

Definitely looking forward to seeing where John takes the performances for his upcoming stateside tour and at a later, yet to be announced, time in Japan.

Runner ups: (aside from the rest of the OoL tour), Rocky Horror with Mason Alexander Park, Taboo 15 (with Mason), Alice Cooper, and Wigstock 2.Ho where I finally got to see NPH performing as Hedwig.

2017′s answer: Hedwig and the Angry Inch: October 14th, evening. Tokyo, Japan.

In my estimation, this was the best of all of the Hedwig concerts. By this point, everyone had performed this in front of an audience twice before and the show from beginning to end gelled really well. Again, there was an incredible energy between the band and the two lead performers and the audiences for all of the Japan shows were great. From beginning to end, this one was the best.

From about the Tommy monologue til the end, the final Tokyo show (Oct. 15th) was the best because there was this crackling, alive, angry energy that had an almost dangerous feeling to Exquisite Corpse and was the only show (surprisingly!!) where I cried at the delivery of my favourite line “Then love the front of me.” On that show, with the exception of Exquisite Corpse, I cried from that line til John started the encore song, ‘The End of Love’ and I had only stopped there because I had completely forgotten he was doing an encore song.

Favourite movie: Black Panther

I’ve been waiting literal years for this movie to be made and there was not one thing to be disappointed in in its final rendering in my opinion. I realize that unlike a large portion of the audience, this movie was very much not reflective of my experiences and at no point would I claim to be represented by it as anything other than a nerd and a comic book fan.

Being a fan of the Black Panther for years has meant having tone deaf comic lines, sidelined animated stories, and much less content, merch, and even cartoon adaptation than some of his paler counterparts. So to see a film that was technically and narratively perfect being rendered so beautifully and taking the box office for many, many weeks was a wonderful way to start this year.

Runners up: Deadpool 2, Bad Samaratian, and does How to Talk to Girls at Parties even count for this year if I saw it last year in Japan??

2017′s answer: a strong tie between Transpotting 2 and HtTtGaP. T2 because it was so much better than I could have ever hoped it to be. It married themes and footage from the first film perfectly to the characters’ lives 20 years on. It gave me hope for an eventual Hedwig sequel in terms of quality because based on interviews, they share a similar tone in terms of ageing characters. Plus Danny Boyle’s cinematography was truly beautiful with the use of shadows, call-backs, foreshadowing.... A true equal to the most iconic of Scottish films.

HtTtGaP because well.... John Cameron Mitchell’s direction mixed with an alien invasion set against punk rock and the Queen’s jubilee? How could I not love it? To me, it’s a strong second to Hedwig in terms of quality and netted my absolute favourite review via the BBC (‘This is one of the worst films ever made’, trust me Beeb reviewer, if that were true, cinema would be a far more enjoyable art form.)

Favourite vacation: Australia

Long story short: I met my favourite actor five times. It’s very rare in this life that you can actually tell an artist who influenced your life in a very meaningful way just how much their art and they as a person mean to you. This year, after seeing JCM perform live eight times and on video, no lie, thousands of times, I had the chance to actually do this. And unlike how I was worried about for the past three years, I wasn’t actually nervous to talk to him at all. Part of that is that he is a very easy person to feel at ease with, very comforting presence.... And part of it was that during the first Australian show I went to where I’m dressed as the very first Squeezebox Hedwig, John lay on top of me as part of the final number. How could I be scared to talk to him after that introduction??

Runners up: going to see Taboo 15 in New York with my best friend and touring the David Bowie Is exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum (March), going to see Wigstock with Risa. Technically, I ditched work to be able to go, but.... 10/10, I would do it again. I saw a lot of amazing performers for the first time, had a chance to chat with Mason again, and saw the tour de force that is Neil Patrick Harris as Hedwig and Lena Hall as Yitzhak.

Hopefully next year, the Hedwig section will be able to be longer. (Or maybe Yitz will perform by himself. Or multiple Hedwigs. Or just the entire Hedwig script delivered at the end of a seven hour drag festival pre-show.)

2017′s answer: Hedwig in Japan. Not only did I get to meet my friend @miyacantdecide for the first time in person, I was able to see the wonder that is JCM as Hedwig live. Even when he’s not delivering the script, his presence as Hedwig is truly something else. And having seen him perform as himself (but in a version of her makeup) this year, I can honestly say that She has a completely different stage presence to Him and how incredible of an actor to be able to deliver such radically different interpretations of the same material and songs??

Outside of Hedwig, I can honestly say that I came back from Japan a changed person. Better in so many ways than I was a year previous. Almost completely made whole again after past traumas (and completed a year later on a different trip.)

2017′s runner up: seeing RENT 20 live. I had a blast hanging out with my mother most of the days and the RENT 20 cast? Holy shit. What talents. Cried from ‘I’ll Cover You (Reprise)’ til the end of ‘Finale B’. Just goes to show: it doesn’t matter if the show’s set in December and it’s hot As Fuck outside if you have a talented cast bundled up in sweaters for 75% of the script.

Favourite album: Golden by Kylie

Not only does pop’s most talented princess talk about her recent breakup with Joshua Sause (sp?), there’s themes of her ageing as this year our princess turned 50. While I agree with reviewers that this isn’t her best musically or vocally, I find myself replaying this one over and over on my stereo and headphones more than almost any other album this year. Favourite song: a toss up between Shelby ‘68 and Low Blow.

2017′s answer: Pollinator by Blondie. It had been two years since the release of 2014′s Ghost of Download, but unlike Ghost’s offerings that went largely unnoticed by me at the time, every single from Pollinator got me more and more hyped not only because of the excellent music evident on songs such as Fun, Long Time, and Doom or Destiny, but collaborations with artists such as Raja (on the video for Fun) and Joan Jett (the aforementioned Doom or Destiny), the honey-thick entrancing song Fragments, and the wonderful Love Line.

This year has been weirder, queerer, and more wonderful than any year yet on record. I’ve been to a number of technically-but-not-really drag shows, revisited some of my favourite artists in concert, met two of my favourite Hedwigs, and saw four total Heds perform.... I’ve read and learned more about the queer experience that not only deepened my understanding of my larger community, but of my own experiences and how they fit within the community. I’ve become more confident being out to coworkers and customers at my job....

I had the pleasure of meeting two of my close friends @hedwig-in-a-jukebox and @fdelopera in person (with plans to meet up again early-2019) as well as making some new friends.

Here’s to an even better 2019! Onwards and upwards.