#the poll just convinced me on doing a kinda sequel

[iwaasfairy]

so we all wanna see more uncle gojo huh

[basuralindo]

*Rises from the depths gasping for air* You'll Have Me Rise chapter 14 is here!!!

I'd like to say this took so long because I was honing it to perfection, but tbh the same kinda shit that caused the last mini hiatus just keeps happening and at this point I don't wanna jinx anything by saying this is the last of it. That said, this chapter is long as hell, and I did genuinely put a lot of work into it. This is finally a huge bulk of the plot reveal, and I hope you all enjoy!

Babble under the cut.

-Fffff where do I even begin with this? First off thank you for reading the whole thing. I can't begin to explain how this whole concept entered my head, and tbh I'm not sure how much it will end up being addressed within this story. But, if I keep at it, this means there's gonna be a sequel with undercover spy work and guerilla warfare and the works, so, fingers crossed there.

-Anyway, the opening lyrics are meant to be kind of an emotional reversal from the first chapter, because I'm seeing this as kind of a turning point in Jamil's feelings and perception of the octatrio. In chapter 1, Jamil is feeling like he's worth more than he's being given, that he's better than the people controlling him deserve. He's resenting and resisting the people around him and fighting for a sense of independence, of control over his own life. Now in these last two chapters, he's surrendering to a feeling of helplessness, he's been beaten down by recent events and falling back on the belief that he can only gain anything by being used. He's realizing that he's actually started valuing certain people, and perceiving himself as not worth enough for it to be reciprocated. Basically, Jamil is starting to give in to the prospect of being controlled by the only people he actually likes, because he's lost sight of any better alternative.

-That said, obviously his sense of pride isn't letting him give up the fight quite that easily. Jamil may get convinced to look down on himself at times, but that doesn't mean he thinks the rest of them are any better.

-I don't care about the canon dorm images. I have an idea in my head and I'm sticking with it.

-Fun fact, as a barista: If you tell us "surprise me" (unless we really like you), you're getting whatever's easiest at the moment/using up leftover ingredients laced with spite. Unless you seem chill enough to experiment on and the manager isn't there, then you're getting whatever weird flavor combo the staff has been curious about but not willing to try themselves. At least give a general range of flavor preference, or ask what we think is good. All that said, this is more proof Azul really likes Jamil.

-Mansplaining as a narrative device for exposition? In my fic? It's more likely than you think… (for real though, you can't have a story about villains without at least one monologue)

-So, moray eels shed and regrow teeth, which means I'm deciding that the tweels do too, which supplies some of the parts they're selling. So yeah I'm picturing Azul acting like the world's most awful tooth fairy and coming to collect whenever his boyfriends lose one

-Very minor but I imagine Azul is absurdly pleased with himself for coming up with a terrestrial plant metaphor to explain things to his terrestrial crush

-A while ago (when I thought the chapter would be written soon) I did a short poll asking folks on tumblr to vote on who got fridged for Azul's backstory, and his stepdad was eliminated …sorry Orfeo… (I'm gonna go into how I picked the name after a chapter where we learn more about him)

-TBH I feel like half of this lore was made up on the spot. I'm not sure if I'm sorry or proud of myself, but at least it's written down. It didn't hit me until I was done writing it out that environmental exploitation and human trafficking have always been such major topics growing up that they've really become go-to narrative conflicts in my writing

-I can't resist the concept of sirens having an inherent magical allure. I imagine it helps Azul with convincing clients and victims to agree to his inadvisable deals, and acts up more subconsciously when he actually wants to attract someone (like Jamil during class and in this chapter)

-I actually really enjoyed trying to depict Azul's feelings and motives from the POV of Jamil completely misinterpreting just about every cue

-A moment of silence for Jamil and what he thinks is normal. The idea that Azul might be upset for him has never crossed his mind (Azul: What's that? People try to poison you? Often??? I'm going to need a drink. / Azul: Oh so you… don't… get choices… in your line of work? You just referred to yourself as someone's resource? More wine it is. / Jamil: …is he mad at me?)

-On that same note, another moment of silence for when first crush anxiety meets massive paranoia. And the inevitable drastic misunderstandings when one party is accustomed to always being used and the other is notorious for always using people. Our boys are Going Through It

-Jamil can't tell the difference between a broken heart and indigestion tbh, and Azul's pretty sure he's poured his heart out on the floor enough times that he can't figure out what could possibly be left to misinterpret

-Aaaand have another round of Disney References Slipped Into Serious Scenes For A Laugh. It's like an easter egg hunt of me sabotaging the mood of my own story! (I'm still waiting on someone to catch the shitty aladdin sequel ref thrown into one of my otherwise favorite scenes from several chapters back). All that said, I'm actually kinda pleased with this one, since the theme songs can merge like that

[saturnsorbits]

Good morning! 💕 Why did you wake up so early? I slept okay but I'm still sleepy and I woke up 1,5 hours ago! 🥱 How are you today?

Don't apologize! 😊 I like character death in fics, it's the best way to 'hurt' imo! Like, in a cheating fic you have the pain and betrayal but in a character death fic, when the reader dies, you have the pain and the love the character feels for you, if that makes sense? I also love fics where you're married/in a relationship with someone and he dies and while you're grieving, you get close to his friend/brother/neighbor and end up with him!

I think it's different when you talk about how your bnha faves would react vs any other anime faves with the whole hero thing, there's an extra layer of guilt! Bakugou... doesn't take it very well! If it was a accident, he'd be kinda depressed, spends most of his time working so he doesn't have to be alone in the house you shared, avoids his friends and doesn't talk about you or how he feels at all! Kiri would eventually reach him and help him get better but it would take some time! If a villain was involved, I think he'd seek revenge but he wouldn't kill them, he knows it wouldn't change anything! In the end, he will be able to move one and find someone else!

Ah, Play Away won! Either people like the pain or they hope for a happy ending! 🤭 I voted for Meat Cute btw! Also, I know I asked for Union in the last poll (is that what it is?) but I haven't read it yet! 😔 I'm saving for the weekend!

P.s. I started writing this 50 minutes ago! People kept interrupting me 😭

-👀

I’ve been waking up at 5:30am for the past few days now. No idea why. I’m convinced my body hates me. I’m glad you had an okay sleep tho! 💕

Ah, yeah! I get what you mean. I don’t think I’ve read a lot of character death fics tbh, (The only one that comes to mind is Jo’s: ‘Spectrophilia’…) but I think I jive more with the ‘near-death’ kind of fics? If that makes sense? It’s like all the hurt with a character death fic, plus the intricacies of moving on from the incident…

I feel like Bakugo is a ‘wears black until he dies’ kind of guy. He’s always given me like ‘you’re my ONE person’ vibes. So I feel like you’ve got him on the money there. Bakugo’s the kind of man to still introduce himself as married even years after you pass bc he said until death do you part and he ain’t dead yet, dammit! I think he prefers it like that tho. He doesn’t see himself as sad and lonely bc he’s gonna see you again. It’s just gonna take some time. But, maybe that’s just me!

Ahaha. I really, really, hope people aren’t expecting a fairytale happy ending 😅 It’s a bitter sweet end, for sure, but it’s definitely not gonna be all wrapped up in a bow!

The new fic is Union, yeah! That’s the Royalty AU that I think I’ve decided will definitely get a sequel if I keep writing at the rate I’m currently writing at - just might be a few months!

[simplyclockwork]

WIP Poll!

Okay folks, now that I’ve finished my two Fandom Trumps Hate fics, and immediate and inglorious, I’m trying to decide what WIP to dedicate my time to. I have a few options, and I thought it would be neat to see what people think.

I’ll list the WIPs I have in mind, with a description of the plot, and, if people can reply or reblog with their choice, that would be great! Number or title is fine.

1. And Vow for Something Completely Different

Johnlock AU, mostly light and humorous. Inspired by this post, John and Mary are casually dating for about 3 or so years. Friends keep asking them when they’re gonna finally commit, but neither are really into it. John’s fine to settle, Mary is, too, but there’s no real big love between them. One drunken night with their friends, the suggestion comes up to have a wedding and invite a celebrity, with the likelihood they won’t attend, and will probably just have their assistant send a gift basket. Perfect, Molly knows one! This guy named Sherlock Holmes, who, before he made it big with some patents, used to use their lab at Bart’s for his research. Super standofffish, not very friendly, but now stinkin’ rich. Exactly the kind of rich dude to send a basket and never RSVP to a wedding. John and Mary jokingly agree, then, with next day sobriety, make a weird pact that if, for some wild reason, this Sherlock Holmes RSVPs yes to the wedding, they’ll actually get married. 

Guess what? Mycroft forces Sherlock to go, telling him to be ‘more sociable’, and now John and Mary have to get married. But how will their tenuous, half-serious agreement hold up when Sherlock arrives and John is smitten? 

Fun, AU, Kinda Cracky, Fluffy.

2. Balanced Equation

This is the Johnlock Unilock fic I have been working on for ages. My plan is to complete it before posting, but we’ll see. I have a good chunk written, and it is my literal child. Like, it is my favourite fic, but I keep pushing it aside to work on other WIPs. Sherlock and John are in their 20s, both struggling through young adult life. John is a very closeted bisexual with bonafide alcoholism, trying to hide his sexuality from his peers and his parents, for fear of invoking the same anger his sister Harry received from their abusive father when she came out to him. In a flash of brilliant lack of thought, he gets blasted at a party, and ends up grinding up on a very attractive, tall, dark-haired man. They kiss, they dance, they grind, they part. 

Sherlock is a super self-destructive young man with a crippling drug habit. Growing up as the ‘freak’ has made him withdrawn and cold, but it is all a facade. In his efforts to push everyone away, and drown his loneliness in chemical oblivion, he really only has one friend, Molly Hooper, who gives anything like a care about him. He attends house parties, enjoys making out with complete strangers who don’t try too hard to know him, and is unambiguously gay af. John grinds up on him at a party, and Sherlock is a little disappointed things don’t go further. 

Turns out they’re assigned lab partners the day after said party. Cue angst, terror, chaotic bisexual John Watson, and just some general heart-ripping misunderstandings (and some very stupid decisions).

AU, Angst, Pining, Smut, and a Happy Ending (and likely a sequel!).

3. In Every Storm

Sherlock and John are finally together. After years of miscommunication, death threats, and drama, they are finally a couple (maybe even married). But John still hasn’t dealt with everything he’s been through, and it begins to come between them. John is distant, withdrawn. Sherlock can feel him slipping away. He knows he is losing him. In a fit of desperation, Sherlock makes a mistake that could be unforgivable, but, at this point, he would do almost anything to reach John. However, what he has done might be too much to move past, and he might end up losing John for good.

Angst, Broken Heart, Not Sure About a Happy Ending.

4. Smoke and Mirrors

Model AU! Sherlock Holmes is a 25-year-old print model, making a name for himself and taking the male model community by storm. He is a cold, distant man, but, when he gets in front of the camera, everything changes. He can be warm, he can be sultry, he can be mysterious. Sherlock’s control over his body and emotions allow him to be a chimera in front of the camera, and his dedication echoes his intensity. Thanks to a rough, very public break-up with Jim Moriarty, a fellow model, his reputation has been deeply tarnished, and he is doing his best to navigate the blow to his rep. 

John Watson is an older, “short” male model. Struggling to stay relevant in a field that already “sells him short” thanks to height and age biases, John has clawed and fought for everything he has achieved. His manager, ex-boyfriend, and best friend, Gregory Lestrade (a semi-retired older male model) is his manager. When Greg takes on Sherlock as a client in his male model mentoring work, John is less than impressed by the young model, who ‘looks about 12′. Over time, and with Lestrade convincing John that Sherlock isn’t what the tabloids say he is, John finds he actually likes the new kid on the block. But, as their friendship (and something more?) begins to develop, speculation and rumours abound, threatening to tear down the tenuous start to their relationship before it has even begun. And Moriarty, with his new partner and squeeze, Sebastian Moran, seems hellbent on having Sherlock collab with his new agency, Criminal - whether he is willing or not. 

AU, Johnlock, Modelling, Smut, First Times.

-----

All right, folks! Let me know what you think! And please do not take these ideas as your own. I am fine if people are inspired by any of these fic ideas, but please credit me if you write something from it.

Thanks!

[ddaenggtan]

are you gonna do anything for kookie's birthday?? i know a lot of writers are and i was hoping you might be one of them :)

I don’t have anything, tbh, because I’ve been mostly working on my fic for the Love Yourself Collab (which you should def check out bc I know at least one or two have posted theirs and I’m so hype to read them!!) and the sequel to mechanic!joon from the poll a while back. 

I will give you this crumb though, for everyone who read Chasing Butterflies and thoroughly enjoyed it the way I did. 

“I just don’t get it,” Nayun says as she straps her pads on. Jisoo doesn’t react and Rose looks like she might actually kick your asses if you aren’t on the court in ten seconds. “What do you not get? Like what about this situation is confusing?” You ask. “I’m whipped for Jungkook, we been knew, and he’s apparently through some great act of mercy also whipped for me, and he’s bringing every single one of his nerd friends to the match today. Which isn’t at all nerve-wracking. Whatsoever.”

Jisoo rolls her eyes and tugs harder at your laces. She always does your laces, she’s the only one with the upper body strength to tie the things well. You think she might actually be moonlighting as a secret BDSM dominatrix just based on the way she handles them. 

“No, I don’t get why you’re nervous. He’s seen you play before, didn’t he tell you that he tries to come to as many home games as possible? And his friends know nothing about the sport, they won’t know if you fuck it up.”

“Which you won’t,” Rose says from the door. "Because you’re good at this.”

“And because you’ll kill me if I fuck it up.” She doesn’t respond verbally, but the look she sends you radiates ‘yeah and what about it’ energy. “Look, I’m just...scared of disappointing his friends. He talks me up all the time apparently, and if they get bored or are unimpressed then...”

“What, you think he’s gonna break up with you?” Jisoo’s tone is teasing, but when she looks up to see the insecuirty on your face, she softens. “You put on a cosplay for him, and he’s liked you for almost as long as you’ve liked him. I don’t think he’s going anywhere.”  

You just nod, tugging at the laces as she finishes tying them. Realistically, you know she’s right. It’s been a couple months since that night in your apartment, and things have only gotten better. He still comes to the coffee-shop to hang out with his dweeb friends, even if he does spend the time waiting for them talking to you now. He still watches his dumbass anime, thoroughly enjoying your flat-screen to do so, even if he gets consistently distracted by the way you lay in his lap. You talk about your practices that he knows a fair bit about because of some anime, he tells you about his nerd shit that you don’t understand but enjoy hearing about anyway, you help him with his essays and he helps you with Organic Chem, and you even buy him little cupcakes every time he gets a new comment on his fanfic. Things between you are good.

You have no reason to worry, you decide as you push out of the locker rooms and head to the court to get warmups started. You spot him, sitting with his group of friends beside where Jimin and Taehyung sit with the rest of the guys’ team to watch your game. Your boyfriend - your whole chest gets warms as you think it, and you let yourself bask in it for a minute because it took three fucking years to get - looks adorable today; big, round glasses, with that soft beanie and a softer looking shirt. It’s got some kind of weird pumpkin(?) on it, with a point and sharp teeth and the back has a scythe and you vaguely recognize it. You’re pretty sure he watched it at your apartment a few days ago, but you also had his dick in your mouth, so you weren’t paying much attention to anything else. 

You wave back when he waves at you, big and excited and cute, and you’re once again hit with the urge to cover him in kisses while also maybe dangling him off a fifty-story building. His nose scrunches in that way you love and you ignore the way it has your stomach flipping. 

Rose pelts a ball at you and you catch it on sheer instinct. 

“Are you actually going to warm up or are you gonna be entirely useless today?” She asks. You glare at her and throw the ball back in response. If you didn’t have firsthand experience with how good she is, you’d wish she was your opponent so you could wipe the smirk off her face. 

Warmups go well. The team you’re supposed to be playing is good, supposedly pretty well-matched to your own, and you’re excited to see if it holds true. They don’t look especially intimidating. The biggest threat seems to be their captain - which is true for your team as well, Rose is terrifying - and there are a couple girls milling around in jackets and over-shirts. One in particular catches your notice; as you look, you realize it’s because Jungkook has the same jacket. Black, with a big-ass Old-English-styled L on the back of it, and some kind of writing you can’t see on the front and can’t remember from Jungkook’s, small and in the corner where logos usually go. 

You make a note to ask which anime that’s from, just to know in the future, and return to your warmups. 

The game itself is...well, it’s challenging. The other teams is as well-practiced as yours, they’re balanced against you pretty well, and all of you are enjoying the competition almost as much as you’re frustrated that you aren’t getting anywhere. Their captain - a shorter girl with pretty eyes and dimples - is an absolute beast and Rose looks simultaneously enraged and turned on, and Weeb Girl has been blocking you at every turn. She volleys every serve you give, manages to block every spike without fail, and you can respect that she’s good at this, but you’re also really fucking frustrated. 

It’s the end of the second set and both teams are ready for the ten minute break. You’re in the process of trying to drown yourself in your Gatorade bottle and really considering using the stuff to summon some kind of demon just so you can win the game, go home, stuff yourself with cheap burgers, and then fuck your boyfriend because you could tell from his face at one point that he was getting worked up watching you play, but before you can you catch sight of your friends whispering quietly to themselves. 

It screams ‘hey we’re doing something really shady and don’t want you to know, maybe you should immediately storm over and find out what’s going on’ so you do exactly that. 

“What the fuck do you mean ‘should we tell her?’“ You demand, keeping your voice as hushed as theirs. Nayun looks repentant and sorry, Jisoo actually literally makes the emoji face with the teeth, and Rose just purses her lips and gestures over her shoulder. 

You really don’t know what you expect to see, but Jungkook hanging over the side of the bleachers to talk to Weeb Girl isn’t it. His eyes are crinkled at the corners like they do when he’s excited, his glasses are half-down his nose and in danger of falling off because you aren’t there to push them back up like he enjoys, and he’s gesturing happily to Weeb Girl. And she....she looks just as excited, twirling a piece of hair between her fingers and batting her lashes up at him as she says something else that makes him laugh. You can’t realistically hear it, it’s too crowded and noisy, but you feel it when he laughs, every time. 

“We should call the police, she’s gonna kill her,” Jisoo says morbidly from behind you. 

“No,” You respond, scoffing. Your eyes don’t draw away from where your boyfriend is talking to Weeb Girl. “No, I’m not. She can flirt all she wants, it’s fine. Yeah, she’s blocked me at every turn this game, yeah she’s kinda really pretty, and she definitely has the ass for those shorts, and she’s wearing weeb stuff that she’s probably interested in and can talk to him about, but it’s fine. I know Jungkook, he’s not gonna do anything. He’s a good guy.” And you mean it when you say it. If there’s one thing that you’re sure of in your relationship that isn’t Jungkook knowing random weeb stats, it’s that he’s loyal. You know it, deep in your bones. 

You watch as Weeb Girl steps forward, cutting off whatever Jungkook’s saying to push his glasses up his nose, giggling as she does. Your fingers twitch because yes, that is your job, not hers, but it’s fine. It’s absolutely fine. Until her captain calls her back and she giggles again and waves, and Jungkook turns to sit and you see it. He’s got that pretty blush on his face, the one that tints his cheeks and makes him duck his head, the one you love so much but especially when you’re riding him and can get him to break out of the dominant persona he loves and turn pink with your words. 

And you know that your boyfriend is loyal and sweet and wonderful, can tell by the way he searches for you and melts into a smile like the ice cream you’re pretty sure you forgot to put back in your freezer before you had to rush out to get to this game. But pushing his glasses up is your job and that is your blush and you aren’t about to let some weeb queen take it from you. 

Rose looks pleased as you all take the court again. Jisoo looks convinced you’re gonna kill Weeb Girl, and you won’t lie; you’re definitely trying to see if you can will someone to set fire with only the power of your brain as you stare her down across the net. She looks entirely too pleased with herself and even dares to send a quick glance and a shy smile off at where you know Jungkook sits behind you, and you wish - not for the first time in your life - that you had Harry Potter powers and could just Crucio this fucker right now. 

Alas, you’re gonna have to settle for slamming a volleyball into her face. 

Nayun looks horrified at the sight, but you can tell Rose is holding back a smile even as the ref gives you a penalty that you willingly take. Weeb Girl looks pissed and also a little confused. Logically it’s not her fault that she chose to flirt with your weeb; and you can’t even fault her for it, because he’s gorgeous and sweet and perfect, but god damn what a day to do it. 

Throughout the rest of the third set, you’re basically unstoppable. You score three times on her, and you take a sick pleasure in the bruise that’s already forming under her eye. Her entire team looks confused, and you are too, because none of you are sure of where this sudden burst of skill and fury is coming from, but you’re determined to ride it out for as long as it lasts. 

When the game’s over, your entire team crowds you to celebrate. You’re a good player, you don’t have any allusions to that, but you’re also pretty much just reliably good. You’ve never played like that, not in your entire life, and you’re thriving with the knowledge that you even can. 

When they finally back up, you bolt before they can throw Gatorade on you, already climbing the stands. Jimin laughs as you shove him to the side, and you decide to feel guilty about the way he almost falls later, because right now you’re on a mission. You straddle the stand and fist one hand in Jungkook’s shirt, pulling him into a heated kiss that he doesn’t hesitate to return. In seconds you’re almost on his lap, one of his hands gripping your jaw so he lick into your mouth the way he likes while your free hand tangles in his hair. When you eventually pull back, he settles soft kisses along your jaw and you take great pride in looking straight at Weeb Girl. She doesn’t look mad, exactly; more resigned and slightly impressed, and you send her a wink that makes her roll her eyes. 

“Hey,” You whisper to Jungkook. He detaches himself from the mark he was determined to make behind your ear, and you revel in the blush on his face. It spreads across his face and along to the tips of his ears, and you want nothing more to than to make is spread further. “You wanna go put on some Haikyuu and break in your new mattress?” 

You don’t think you’ve ever left a game that fast in your life. 

[spaceorphan18]

Marvel Movie Night: Spider-Man

Kicking off Sam Raimi’s original Spider-Man trilogy! Whoo!  It’s interesting - Spider-Man was one of those things that I wasn’t initially into (totally here for the X-Men).  Then I really fell in love with this trilogy.  And then kind of fell out of love with it.  And then Tom Holland came along leaving this in the dust.  Coming back to it again I find it… endearing? But like the original X-Men films, despite being thought of as great for the time, I don’t believe it holds up that well now that we’re nearly twenty years later.  (My god, am I getting old?) 

Let’s back up and talk about this film in context for a second.  X-Men was revolutionary in its own way - bringing the comic book genre into a space that could be taken more seriously.  Spider-Man, however, was the first glimpse of what films based on Marvel properties would later become.  Unlike superhero and action films of the time, it was brightly colored.  It was cheesy, but not overly campy.  It had humor and emotion.  And, not surprisingly, audiences reacted positively! 

But now that we’ve had twenty more years of Marvel films, does it hold up? Kind of?  Is it a good Spider-Man film, yes if the context you’d like your Spider-Man films to be in is taking directly from the Silver and Bronze age era of comics.  Is it a good film overall? Meh.  

I don’t spend a whole lot of time in Spider-Man related fandoms, but there is a big chunk of fans that prefer this film and its sequels to the other two Spider-Man franchises.  And while I don’t agree (though I support everyone having their own, varied opinion), I can see why this might appeal to those fans who had been reading the comics for years. 

The first half of this film is directly lifted out of Amazing Fantasy #15, the comic issue Spider-Man made his debut in.  The filmmakers did, really, a fantastic job of bringing it to life -- the origin story, Uncle Ben, the ‘great power’ line, Peter Parker’s guilt, the spider-bite, and so on and so on.  It’s there.  This film feels like a Silver Age comic book brought to life.  On the one hand - that’s pretty remarkable.  I don’t think the comics had ever been directly referenced in the same way prior to this.  On the other, it brings along with it all the downsides of a Silver Age comic.  The dialogue is incredibly stiff.  The acting feels forced.  And everything has that -- ‘ah, golly shucks’ mentality about it.  It felt dated in 2002.  It feels even more dated now.  But the novelty of it being THE COMIC BOOK was pretty revolutionary for the time. 

Peter Parker/Spider-Man

Of course there are hundreds of polls out there, and I’m sure a few dozen YouTube videos about who the best Spider-Man is.  Honestly, there’s a lot of subjectivity that goes along with it.  I think each of them has their pros and cons, so let’s take a second to talk about Tobey Maguire in this film.  One thing I think Tobey Maguire does really well, especially for being nearly thirty by the time he got the part, is play the nerdy and awkward Peter Parker… or at least at least the nerdy and awkward Peter Parker that was written in the 60s by Stan Lee.  Maguire does a great job of doing the part he’s supposed to be playing - the problem is, and I feel this way about all the characters, is that he doesn’t feel like he’s playing a real person.  He feels like he’s a comic book character thought up during the 60s.  

What about the Spider-Man side of things? I’m going to give this a pass more than I probably should.  First of all, Spider-Man is supposed to be rather chatting, and this Spider-Man is near silent.  But that’s more so due to the lack of ability with the suit.  And I don’t blame the filmmakers for keeping Spider-Man off the screen for so much of the film.  Not only does it make those times Spider-Man is there feel more special, but it saves them from having to do a lot of things that, maybe, didn’t the technology wasn’t fully ready for yet.  

Look - I think while it was definitely moving in the right direction, the action sequences in this film are probably some of its weakest points.  Everything is incredibly stiff and/or ridiculous looking.  Sure, there are some great moments of Spider-Man swinging around the city.  But most of the stuff between he and the Green Goblin have not aged well at all.  

One last thing - the organic webshooters?  Nope.  Nope, nope, nope.  Ew.  

Aunt May, Uncle Ben, and Great Responsibility

So - Aunt May (and Uncle Ben) in the comics are older.  It’s… kinda unrealistic, unless Peter’s parents were much, much older when they had a kid.  Uncle Ben says in this film that he’s 68.  That’s grandparent age -- and I’d believe this whole thing much more if they were Peter’s great Aunt and Uncle.  That said, Cliff Robertson and Rosemary Harris were perfect choices for their roles.  Robertson especially plays the closest to an actual person as he grumbles about unemployment and new technology he’s having trouble with.  But more so, he does such a great job with his Great Responsibility line, that there’s really no reason for other Spider-Man films to do it.  It’s in the culture now.  We get it.  Meanwhile, Harris’s Aunt May, well, looks exactly like Aunt May.  Aunt May, in general, kind of annoys me, so I suppose we’ll leave it that. 

The Osborns and the Green Goblin

First, James Franco as Harry Osborn.  There really isn’t a whole lot to this character - it feels like he’s talked about more than actually on screen, and I feel like we don’t get to see that much of Peter and Harry’s relationship.  That said, Franco does brooding rather well - and is pretty consistent at keeping the brooding up throughout the film.  He’s fine, but sometimes feels like he’s there because the movie wants him to be in it.  

Willem Dafoe is Norman Osborn, and here’s my thing.  Dafoe is a pretty good actor.  He does the whole split-personality thing rather well, and makes an incredibly convincing villain, especially when everything about the Green Goblin is, well, incredibly contrived.  Really, I think the Oscorp stuff is the dumbest stuff in this film because it strictly adheres to comic book logic.  And while I also understand there were obvious limitations and complications making such a ridiculous suit, that Green Goblin costume is terrible.  Dafoe was much more menacing without it on.  

Mary Jane Watson

**sigh** Okay.  Let me start by saying that I like MJ in the comics, even though, yeah, this is a pretty good representation of her (or more so the kind of character she was forty years ago) here.  I don’t even mind Kirstin Dunst.  This version of MJ bugs me though.  Part of it is the story framing.  Everything’s from Peter’s POV, and it doesn’t make any sense.  What is it about her, besides the fact that she’s pretty, does he even like? They never actually spend time together - and when they do, Peter’s giving her soliloquy about how wonderful she is. The problem is that we’re never really given a reason, other than pretty, to understand why.  Do they have anything in common? Not really.  Do they make a connection beyond his constant saving her from bad situations - whether it be emotional or physical? Not really.  

Everything about their scenes is just over-the-top a majority of the time.  Like -- this is a big sweeping romance, hear the music? See the close-ups? Add tears, more tears!  But I never buy an actual connection between the two of them.  

The one thing that does actual work, and I will give them a ton of credit for, is that upside down kiss in the rain.  That’s pretty damn iconic.  And kinda hot.  It’s the only time that the movie allows the romance to do something other than follow the tired tropes of boy-likes-girl, boy-rescues-girl, boy-gets-girl.  Ug.  

J Jonah Jameson and the Daily Bugle

JK Simmons and the Daily Bugle is hands down the best thing about this film.  It’s witty and almost satirical with everything looking straight out of the 60s comic book.  It gets the humor that the comics often has and runs with it.  I have no complaints, it’s really, truly amazing.  And I have to wonder if this entire film would work better if it had taken place during the 60s and was a tad more on the satirical side.  I feel like the world would have made just a little more sense.  

Final Rating: 3 out of 5 Spiderwebs.  I think this film is a great embodiment for what Spider-Man meant to a whole group of people who grew up with the character.  As a film, I think it’s standard issue, and besides letting comic book movies be brightly colored and fun, I don’t think it does anything special with the story it’s telling. And much like the original X-Men film, while I’ll give it credit for being special for the time it came out, I don’t think it holds up now.  

Next Up: Oy, I’m gonna have to watch that Ben Affleck Daredevil film now.  :P