#the place where shows go to die indeed

[gay-dorito-dust]

More demon brained Vergil?? (The chokehold this man has on me. It's unimaginable.)

I will live and die by demon brained Vergil. Seriously this man has no clue what he’s doing when it comes to human flirting but demonic courting? This man is knowledgeable on all fronts.

Vergil bites and he scents you, his ‘mate’ or ‘partner’ for possessive and territorial purposes. This is well known enough for it to have been an inside joke, especially with how often you walked out of your shared room with almost painful bite marks upon your neck and shoulders, only to tell people that they were ‘love bites.’

but that was mainly stuff that many people got to see the aftermath and not what this man does behind closed doors.

He makes nests! Yes! Vergil makes a nest of your clothes when you leave for a mission if your a demon hunter or for work in general, he takes clothes that you had in your wardrobe and make a nest of them upon your shard bed with your pillow being the first piece to be added.

His demon side wanted to be closer to you and if he couldn’t do that with you literally, then he’d gladly use your clothes, more specifically clothes that you have worn beforehand and still held your scent and warmth, as a substitute and rub himself against them. Even going so far as to fall asleep in them becuase while he might not admit it, he did indeed miss you and will get huffy when your clothes stop smelling like you and loose your warmth.

Vergil is a clingy half demon, he knows this and doesn’t want to admit to it, but everything that you’ve ever lost place of or just thought was long gone was in this man’s possession instead. Anything that had your essence on was his by association, nobody else’s.

He’ll growl and his eyes will become even more icy blue when someone touches your stuff, getting it muddied with their ugly scent that smelt like acid to him, where as yours was sweet, unique and something that could put him at ease at a simple sniff.

Another well known one is that he purrs, growls and or chirps depending on what you were doing, it’s not like he’s actively doing it because this is all natural to him and his demonic heritage, if anything he found anything human too foreign for him since his long, long stay in hell. (I will literally never let anyone forget this fact)

So Vergil does this really unique noise just for you, it’s a noise he’s noticed that demons onto did towards their mates, something made only for them to find the other should they be at long distance from one another, letting them know that they were there and were okay. A meaning to being the two mates together and differentiate themselves from other demon mates nearby doing the same thing.

And so Vergil would make this noise, which was like a chirp and an almost howl like nose that only you would recognise and come looking for him, an act that itches his demon brain greatly, seriously if his demon tail was out it would be wagging happily at the attention of his mate recognising his sound and coming towards him.

His brain: ‘my mate is coming! They heard me! They recognise me! My mate! My beloved mate whom I’d kill and slaughter for! They’re here! Hi! Gimme kiss! Gimme kiss! Gimme my mate! MY MATE!’

Him: 😐 I’m glad you’re not hurt. Now let’s go.

Will show off his demon wings and spread them as far as they can go in order to impress you when he devil triggers, it’s adorable seeing this hulking blue demon stand before you, showing off his big ass wings in hopes of impressing you with the array of colours that went into them.

This is something he’d do pre-relationship kinda like a preening peacock but don’t be surprised when he does this when he’s your mate/partner, encouraging you to touch them and trace the patterns there.

Demon grooming! Again try imagining this blue demon combing his claws over you, preening/grooming you on the odd occasion now and then before silently asking for you to do the same for him, looking at you with those almost puppy dog like demon eyes of his.

Or just imagine Vergil straightening your clothes, making sure clothing was out of place, making sure your shoes were properly tied so you wouldn’t hurt yourself. This was his version of demon grooming outside his devil trigger by making sure you’re looking presentable before you leave the house. It’s cute watching him act so serious about removing that one stray fluff on your clothes to the point he growls in frustration, but it only him showing his care through his unique way.

[bluem1lls]

HEAR ME OUT!!!! se-mi with comphet reader (angst) 😈😈😈

✧₊⁺ you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling

se-mi x fem!reader

✦ synopsis: you're so used to this perfect life. your career and your boyfriend. and it's miserable but is comfortable as it can be. until you met her, and now you'll have to spend the rest of your life waking up to be nothing more than his girlfriend, thinking about her saying "i told you so".

content: angst, comphet! reader, se-mi falls for thano's 'straight' girlfriend

authors note: thank you for the request! clearly inspired by good luck babe by chappell roan because i love to suffer jsjdfkfkj, i hope you like it! im sorry ive been posting more short stuff, the week is vvv rough on me with work but ill do everything i can to not stop posting! even if its a small work

✧₊⁺ your boyfriend was acting weird. i mean, he's a man. the first thing that came to mind was 'he's cheating'

✧₊⁺ if the bastard was cheating you would kill him. it was enough that he used both of your savings to place them in bitcoin, and of course.. lost it all.

✧₊⁺ and you forgave him about that (kinda) but cheating? yeah no. you didn't wanted to be like one of those actresses with a cheating boyfriend everyone knew about.

✧₊⁺ so when you decided to follow him a random night and a man invited you to play a game, you were all against it.

✧₊⁺ you were a prestigious actress for god's sakes.

✧₊⁺ "oh. i thought you wanted to know where your boyfriend was heading?"

your eyes widen. what was this? some hooker shit? a betting house?

fine. you needed to find out where he is.

✧₊⁺ of course you ended joining the game to see where your boyfriend was. you dumbass.

✧₊⁺ waking up in a room full of strangers, was sure an.. experience.

✧₊⁺ confused, you stood up. where was your stupid boyfriend and why was he here?

✧₊⁺ "thanos?" i called him, scared. "baby?"

✧₊⁺ as you saw a group of people gathering around a very familiar voice, your fear turned into anger. you ran, pushing everyone sorrounding him.

✧₊⁺ "are you kidding me? this is where you got in? you fucking idiot" i hit his arm as he stared wide eyed at me.

"b-baby what are you doing here?" he chuckled nervous. "you should go home, this is not safe-"

"i wish! but you know, i was following you thinking you were cheating but what the fuck is this? did you lost more money? why are you here-"

"well, i came to win back the money we lost, dont worry baby. when i win this we'll be free!"

i can't believe this.

✧₊⁺ as you turned around to fumble alone, a girl touched your shoulder.

"oh my god, you're the actress on my favorite tv show! can i get a picture"

oh god. here too?

with the best fake smile, you nodded, and suddenly, the same crowd that was sorrounding thanos was now admiring you.

✧₊⁺ there was no doubt that after the first game you wanted to kill him.

"we die!? you brought us to a place where we fucking die if we dont pass the games!?" i screamed at him

"chill baby... youre making a scene. remember that people are watching"

"well, who cares? theyre probably going to die in like two days! just like us you idiot"

✧₊⁺ but just like that you kept playing with your... lovely boyfriend. and his new best friend apparently. god you needed a girl in here. you missed your girlfriends.

so indeed, your boyfriend got you a girl.

✧₊⁺ "i got you a friend so you can stop being... so angry all the time. enjoy life babe, this is a one time experience"

the second game was about to start, we needed two people more in our group.

i was about to punch him as i looked at her.

oh.

✧₊⁺ "hi..i'm-" hello? why was my brain shutting down?

"i know. i think everyone here knows apparently" she plays with her piercing lip, smiling.

✧₊⁺ that made you so nervous???? she got you smiling and twirling your hair??

oh you haven't felt like this in.. so long.

✧₊⁺ so yeah, with every game and her being the only girl (besides you) in the group, you two got close.

like.. way too close.

✧₊⁺ holding hands, protecting eachother, laughing together. you spent more time with her than with your own boyfriend.

✧₊⁺ in your defense, every single minute with her felt... like something you never experienced with him.

✧₊⁺ "why are you still with thanos if you think he's stupid?" she said, rolling her eyes and manspreading besides me, while i kept complaining about my boyfriend.

"he's nice.. he really is"

"you hate him, i dont think is normal to hate your boyfriend you know?"

✧₊⁺ you knew. but what else can you do?

you told her. she knew all abouth how your parents raise you to be this perfect actress, with her perfect husband.

and you already let them down with the 'perfect husband'. you can't disappoint them again.

✧₊⁺ so when her touch made you sigh, when she caressed your hair as you stared into her eyes, when she held your hand to feel you close in every game, trying to protect you more than your boyfriend ever did, or when she whispered sweet nothing's to your ear, making you shiver, all you could do was ignore it.

✧₊⁺ of course, when she realized that it was stupid and you weren't actually going to leave your boyfriend and your perfect life for her, she gave up, looking for something (or someone) that could make her feel better.

✧₊⁺ please, she was hot. she didn't need you.

✧₊⁺ she would never admit that in every girl she kissed after that, she was picturing you.

the way she would be biting your soft pouty lips, how she'd show you your boyfriend was nothing against her. she'd kiss you until you were out of breath, her hands roaming through your body, grabbing your waist, your hips.

she bit her lip as she kept picturing your hands wrapped around her neck, going down her back up and down.

✧₊⁺ she was so down bad it was making her stupid.

she had to do something about this stupid.. crush.

✧₊⁺ so was it a surprise when you found her making out with a random girl in the bathroom? not really.

but was it a surprise when she stared right to your eyes while she did it? i mean.. a little.

✧₊⁺ you scoffed, washing your hands.

"that's disgusting. there are bathroom stalls for that" i said to both.

as the girl turned around, se-mi asked her to leave, saying that 'she'd take care of her later'. ew.

✧₊⁺ she turned around, pissed. yeah, maybe you can get in her head for hours and hours, but ruining her makeout session? you were out of limit.

✧₊⁺ "listen princess-"

"don't call me princess after you made out with a random " i mumble, bitter. "and don't scream at me pretending like you hate me"

her eyes filled with anger.

"listen to me, you can fake being this perfect actress with your boyfriend and everyone else" she said, pushing me against the wall, one of her arms on top of my head, trapping me there. "but not with me. you think i dont see your little lustful eyes? the way you stare at me how i bet you never stared at your boyfriend?"

"b-bullsh-"

"yeah. whatever" she scoffed. "lie to yourself if you want, go fuck the entire common room to prove yourself that you're this pretty straight princess that your parents want you to be, but don't play with me" with every word she said, she got closer to me. our heated bodies breathing almost in sync.

"tell me im lying princess. tell me that if i" she grabbed my chin, softly caressing her lips with mine. my body shivering as my hand grabs her bicep, my nails clawing there, leaving 'c' marks, to ground myself. "do this, you dont feel a thing. c'mon. stop me, pretty girl. tell me you shouldn't" she whispered against my mouth.

✧₊⁺ but the truth is that you couldn't move. you couldn't back away, but you couldn't do this to thanos, to your parents. it wasn't fair.

dad? he had all the contacts he wanted. he would destroy your career in seconds. mom? would never let you step your own house again. oh and your boyfriend? would clearly ruin you on the internet. probably leaking everything about you in seconds. your own fans? people are not as open as we expect them to be.

you can't do this. you can't let yourself have this.

✧₊⁺ "im sorry se-mi" a tear fell, almost wetting her face too because of how close we were.

her eyes shut close. she mumbled something under her breath as she quickly stepped away, breaking whatever moment we had going in.

"i dont want you close to me again" she said, turning to leave as i rushed to follow.

"please, a-at least let me have you as a friend se-mi please" i begged her. tears couldn't stop falling to my cheeks.

"i can't" she said, turning to face me. her eyes roaming my features with a hint of guilt and sadness. "how can i be your friend when i'm so.." she stops, pressing her lips together. "i-i picture you in every girl i kiss. i can't be your friend.

i bit my lip as i hug her. she stiffens but slowly lets herself go, hugging me back. her hand on my hair, softly caressing it for comfort.

"if we get out of here and.. you decide that you're done being his perfect wife, and maybe you want to be happy..with me..i'll be waiting. i promise" she whispers in my ear, kissing my temple.

✧₊⁺ so it goes. after the next game, the nerves make everyone vote to leave and just like that you're actually out.

✧₊⁺ and althought you don't hear from her, you know she's still friends with your boyfriend.

and although she doesn't hear from you, she follows your life like she did. watching every episode of every single show you're in, following you on social media.

and although you guys never cross paths again, if you or your boyfriend ever invite her to 'the wedding', she will throw that invitation to the trash, where it belongs.

✧₊⁺ you miss her every night. mostly, when you wake up feeling cold against the person that's supposed to be your future. you're sure you love her.

and she misses you too. and she knows she loves you. that's why she never tries to contact you again.

✧₊⁺ because she loves watching you smile. even if its not because of her.

[nullicaput]

firsts, seconds, and thirds. I

Pairings: Geum Seong-je x Reader, Wolf Keum x Reader

Tags: Minor College AU, Soulmates, Canon-Typical Violence, Language and Profanities, Seong-je being mentally unstable

Summary: In a world where soulmates exist, you found yourself rejecting yours when you learned who it was.

Word count: 3321

You woke up to your whole body feeling like it was being submerged into an ice bath, and you could not stop yourself from shivering. You inhaled through your mouth, but it only dried your saliva. With all of your willpower, you got off of your crappy bed and turned on the lights. You rummaged through the uppermost compartment of bedside table in search for medicine but found nothing.

"You've got to be kidding me." 

The shelf only had a small bottle of povidone iodine and bandages, which were not going to help you, and the nearest convenience store was a ten-minute-walk away from your; you had no other option aside from asking your neighbor.

He was far from being bad, if you were to be completely honest, but his smoking habits would be the death of you. Since the walls are made out of fiber cement board—therefore are thin—and there are holes at the bottom due to the material crumbling, smoke could just pass through the without any difficulty. To make it worse, you could smell the smoke at the balcony because he leaves his cigarette butts everywhere.

You were not sure if it were him that has that nasty habit of not throwing them into the bin like any normal person. What you were certain is that although he was a terrible neighbor at times, he indeed was one of the lesser evils. 

"Mask," you whispered repeatedly. 

You pulled the second compartment and picked up two face masks from their box. You wore them together and grabbed a jacket from your hanger cabinet. You also took your wallet with you lest he did not have any medicine to give. You were not cozy, but, at least, you were not trembling as hard as you did not too long ago.

You opened the door—you just realized that it was actually day.

Through your mask, you could smell the stench of cigarette smoke floating in the air. You coughed, and soon, that coughing fit of yours developed into wheezes. You closed your eyes in order to prevent your eyes from tearing up due to light sensitivity. You sniffled in a futile attempt to empty your mucus-filled sinuses, but nothing happened. You knocked on your neighbor's door, patiently waiting for the orange-haired guy to pop up and greet you. 

"Fuck ya need?"

You almost jumped the moment you heard those words, your mind becoming aware of your surroundings again. At the opposite side of the door stood a young man with slightly curly hair that had the same hue as a piece of purple topaz, handsome and angular face littered with bandages and bruises, belittling gray eyes behind a pair of tinted glasses successfully causing the words die down in your throat. Your poor heart drummed against your thoracic cage, and that chill dripped through the insides of your bones.

One. 

Two.

You shut your eyes the moment you felt a sneeze arriving; however, no sneeze came. 

Instead, without a warning, the skin of your lower stomach where your soulmate's first sentence was marked burned. Your body turned rigid; you thought you would burst into flames right there and then. It was scorchingly hot, and you could only describe the sensation as being dangerously close to an open fire.

"Ah," you gasped through clenched teeth.

What in the world?

Pressing the heel of your palm into your lower stomach, you stared back at him, looking for the possible reason for you to feel like this after he spoke those words.

He, as well, did not appear to know why. 

"You mute? What ya staring for?" 

One. 

Two. 

Before the third second has passed, Hwangmo finally showed himself.

"Hey, who's at the—oh, senior," Hwangmo said. 

Hwangmo, your underclassman and next-door neighbor, has been living in his apartment a year longer than you do. In such a rundown place filled with criminals and thugs, his presence was the reason you have always felt safe despite initially scaring the living daylights out of you. Although he looked very rugged and easy to displease, he was kind person to be around, making sure you were safe when he not working for his job, which he never mentioned being. You never bothered asking although it was strange that an eighteen year-old has a well-paying job even when he was only working once or twice a week; you have no time to worry about other's life when you could not even keep your own life together. 

"Mornin'."

You felt an itch along your throat, so you used your knuckle to massage the area. The movement helped you a little, but after a second or two, the itch only spread. 

"Sorry 'bout the smoke."

He threw a subtle glance at the purple-haired man, who was now staring you down like a nuisance disrupting his peace.

Ah, so he was the one who kept inhaling those cancer sticks like his life depended on it. 

"It's fine," you rasped, clearing your throat after. "Hwangwo, do you have any paracetamol?"

You tried to ignore the strange feeling that settled on your lower torso, yet it did not go away anytime soon. You also tried to ignore the other male's intent staring, yet it did not go away either. 

"I actually do have some. Ya stay there."

You nodded and let him leap to his medicine kit somewhere inside his apartment. You were then left with Hwangmo's companion while he leaned back and rested his whole body onto the doorframe rather menacingly.

You did not even dare to look his way again—something nagged you not to.

The orange-haired man returned shortly—thank goodness—and gave you a whole blister pack of paracetamol. When you tried to just pick one, he almost shoved it to you just so you would stop refusing his act of goodwill.

"Thank you." You weakly smiled through your mask. "I'll return the favor when I'm good as new."

Without a doubt, that guy Hwangmo was with was your other half.

You plan to keep your mouth pursed about it.

Men have always failed you in life. 

From your violent and infidelious father, to your brother who loved weaponizing his incompetence, to those random men who loved catcalling you when you were wearing your uniform and passing by during your walk to school—you grew up knowing the truth that men really were not worth any shit. They want to dominate you and make you subservient to their self-proclaimed legacy by either assaulting you with their fists, with their words, or sometimes—if not all the time—their eyes. They like you now, but within a split of a second, they would act like you just insulted their whole bloodline by saying no. 

They are simple-minded creatures, and that is why they are so threatening.

It was sickeningly funny that your supposed soulmate was no better.

Hwangmo, even without the knowledge of your connection with your soulmate, had the tendency to rant about the unfair treatment of your fated one, or who you later learned was Wolf. During his little complaint session, his tongue slipped about Wolf being inconsiderate and whatnot. He has also said although he admire his strength, he could not help but fear him and his unexplainable predilection to receive pain before returning it tenfold to the perpetrator. Apparently, Wolf has this rule where if someone were to stare at him for too long, it becomes a non-verbal declaration of war.

Just men and their thirst for blood, really.

It was one thing to be disrespectful douchebag to strangers; it was another thing to be an uncontrollable, rabid dog.

Oh, god. The other half that you were fated to be with until you die, and yet, at this point, you were certain that if he were to find out that he was indeed yours, he would be the reason for you to die.

Things could have been easier for you, too, if it were not for the undeniable fact that no one, besides you and your other half, could see the words on your skin, and that rule applies to him and every other destined pairs. A cardinal rule, too, was to let your soulmate know the moment you met them that you and them are destined for one another. Actively hiding it means enduring the constant pain of that burning feeling, which could only be relieved the moment the other half touches the letters one by one. After that, the words will be replaced by their name, like an owner's name marking a property, and everyone could see it. 

A lose-lose situation, but between that and being with him, the former sounds more bearable. In fact, today marked the three-hundred-sixty-fifth day after your initial meeting with him, and you could never say that you regretted it one bit.

You could never be with someone who reminds you of the days you vow to forget; you could never be with someone who reminds you of your father.

"Senior!" a voice said from a distance. 

You stopped in your tracks and looked at the person who called you. He walked up to you and smiled, the smile successfully softening his harsh features. 

"Hwangmo." You took a whiff of air, and your nose slightly scrunched. "Did you smoke?"

"Nah, senior." He raised his right hand, as though saying an oath. "Never when you're around." 

You playfully punched him on the arm. Your eyes then traveled to the purple-haired guy standing a meter or two away from you. To your surprise, he was looking at you, too.

Due to the setting sun, the light has casted a golden glow on his otherwise dark and dull eyes. Wolf seemed almost similar to an angel, if it were not for his bandaged cheek and colored lenses. 

"Good. Means I don't gotta summon the slipper." You averted your eyes and punched Hwangmo again. "So, what's up?" 

"My friends will be over."

His so-called friends were actually his colleagues. They come over frequently, and they can be loud and chaotic when they were the only ones around. They, however, become more significantly quieter when Wolf was with them, and it took you no more than a second to learn that Wolf was the one who rules things around the area. He may not be the leader of the whole organization where Hwangmo was in, you were definite that Wolf still holds an important place in the hierarchy of their not-so-little, not-so-legal group. 

"You make it sound like I'm your mom," you joked. "But go ahead. I wouldn't be home until nine."

"Where ya off to?"

"Uni. I have night classes to attend." You yawned and blinked several times. "After that, I have a declamatory speech to do. We're lucky, though. We weren't required to perform in a tie."

You gestured at your overly casual, black hoodie. 

"Man, college sucks." 

"Right?" You tilted your head side to side to stretch it. "I can't even blame you for not wanting to continue."

You waved at Hwangmo before you started walking away. When they were out of sight, you coughed, barely suppressing a gag. 

"Smokers, I swear." You clicked your tongue. "Damn it."

Just like the other universities out there, the one you were in has they call the, "Block System," or where courses that are taken in a day are few but long. Unlike the other universities, however, yours separate their students into sections and courses in a program are all mandatory. This led to you having to take many courses, which a lot of them are not even actively useful for the career path that you were planning to take after college.

This is why you were preparing to speak in front of a fifty-people-crowd, despite your program not related to it.

It was not like you could complain, though. After all, you were in this university for free.

"My back," you softly grunted while you waited for your turn.

"I wonder who'd be next," your seatmate mumbled. 

Curse your instructor for using a wheel-of-fortune website to randomize the order of the presenters. 

Curse your throat for being dry after you inhaled the residual odor of cigarette from that guy.

Curse your heart for beating so hard even though you used to speak in front of audience that were three to four times more in number than what you have right now.

"[Full Name]." 

Ah, shit.

"Oh, good luck." 

"Fuck me dead," you said under your breath. 

You rose from your seat and straightened the wrinkles at the side of your hoodie. That fear never vanished, yet the moment you opened your eyes, to your audience, you felt like an entirely different person.

"Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation," you began, glancing from one audience to another every two or three seconds. "Conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal."

Being a former speech competitor taught you a lot of things about the human brain. 

First, different situations require different vocal modulation. Successfully amplifying your voice with an appropriate tone can make or break your intention, so a good speaker manipulates their audience by mainly using either (a) a soft, melancholic voice when narrating or reminiscing a history that fit the speech, (b) a determined voice for persuasive texts to convince the audience that the speaker themselves believe their objectives and therefore should be trusted that they can do what they are promising, or (c) an empathetic, harmless-sounding voice that can make the speaker appear vulnerable to their audience.

Second, body language reflect your mastery of the topic. Overuse of gestures could make you appear exaggerated, while underuse of it could make your speech underwhelming. With the right amount of movement and stillness, you, as the speaker, could make your words sound as though they were the truth and nothing but the truth. 

Third, the eyes can be a way for your audience to know you. It could be a way to showcase confidence, because those who are not confident with their performance usually stare on the ground and never holding any sort of eye-contact with the people in front of them. Constant eye-contact could also make them feel that they are valued, seen, special amongst the others.

These skills are useful in debates, too. Even the most incorrect pieces of information and most immoral stand could feel as though correct with the right speaker and debator. 

Yet, in the end, you knew that real life interaction does not function like debates. There are no constructive, organized arguments that could be rebutted. It was either you run or you face the danger. It was either you hit or be hit. It was sometimes, if not all the time, either life or death.

An example of this was what was happening in the meantime.

There was a man staring at you while and after you spoke the speech, and you were sure although his eyes never left you when you were around ever since the academic year has started, he has never conversed with you before. He also kept his eyes on you talked with your high school friends who happened to attend the same university with you, as well as when they left you. You have noticed the same man following you ever since you stepped out of the gates and rode the bus.

No amount of speaking skills can save you from the person who was following you like an ineradicable pest to a crop, or a moth to a source of light. 

It was fortunate that you had your phone on silent mode. It was fortunate that today was not uniform day and that you would not need to wear your hard-sole, black, leather shoes. It was fortunate that you were wearing something with long sleeves so you could hide the pocket knife being held by your dominant hand.

What was not fortunate was that the streetlights decided to light up so brightly it reveals where you were going to. Another unfortunate thing, was that the footfall that were following you were not from one pair of feet but two.

The closer one has a rushed and heavy pattern of footsteps, while the other one, who only seemed to tail you the moment you entered the narrow alleyway, was deliberate in each step they took.

You sped up your pace, and so did your heart pumping your blood. When you walked faster, so did the closer person stalking you. 

"You're [Name], right?" the man from your university asked. "I'm such a fan."

You froze; you dared not to turn on your heel to see him. 

"I've always watched you perform." You heard him ambling to your direction. "As a matter of fact, I enrolled to this terrible community college just for you."

You gripped the blade tighter. 

"Isn't that making you blush?" He was getting closer. "I'm such a romantic, ain't I?" 

You were not prepared to kill at all; however, if you had no other choice but to, you would. 

"Have you gone de—"

"Hey," a new voice—Wolf's—said. "Loudmouth."

You stayed frozen; at this point, you did not know which one of them were more dangerous. 

"Can you not see that I'm doing something important here?" 

That sounded like a wrong move to do and the wrong words to say.

To make it worse, your stalker exclaimed, "What did I expect? What can a gangster like you even know?"

While the two of them were preoccupied with each other's existence, you subtly moved. You took small, quiet steps, trying not to be heard by either one or both of them.

Then, Wolf chuckled. 

Softly, almost amused, he chuckled. 

The timing of his laughter matched his now hurried footsteps—a thump was heard. 

"What did—"

A large object—your stalker—fell on the wet, murky ground of the alleyway. For the second time, you became petrified. 

"I punched you," Wolf simply stated. "Clench your jaw."

The sound of bones crunching like sticks being broken into pieces ripped through the quiet humming of air-conditioners, but you remained motionless, unmoving like a lifeless being. 

"Stop!" Wolf's punching bag pleaded. "Stop! I won't return here!" 

"I said, clench your jaw."

The last hit was made a loud crack, which was enough to drain all the blood from your face. 

There was silence, then there were slow, painful drawing of breath. 

"This is my territory, motherfucker." He kicked his victim thrice. "You bitch, where do you think you're going?"

In your panic, you whipped around and stumbled away from him. You saw his left feet on top of your stalker's temple; he trampled on his head before he pressed his feet on it, digging the tip of his shoe as if the skull was a cigarette stub.

You gazed at him and his lips quirking at the side as his legs left the limp lump of flesh and made their way to you.

"Speak up," he taunted.

From every pore of a smoker's body, there ooze the smell of years-long of vice addiction. No amount of expensive perfume could ever conceal the putridity of cigarettes because it comes from within.

"Got a problem?" He grinned eerily. "Wanna be next?" 

Instead of saying anything, you gagged.

You gagged.

"The hell?" 

You hastily slapped your nose with your free palm, fearing that you might have triggered him.

Of all the times that you could have a visceral reaction to cigarettes, why now? 

You did not gag because you wanted to spite him or anything like that. Your reaction was not out of overreaction either. How could you even possibly tell him that you were simply disgusted by his smell? 

One.

Two.

You bowed and skittered away form the scene.

To your relief, he did not follow.

next chapter.

[thisonehere]

HIM!?!

Cheating! Bi-Han x F!reader

Part 5 Of a Match made in Hell

First part

Last part

Next part

A/n: So...this came out a lot later than I had hoped, but a lot of personal stuff came up so it was delayed. I really think I'm getting closer to the end of this series though, maybe 3 more chapters? Idk.

Tags: @maulsgf @sweetpanda18 @thickemadame @posterbunny @strawbisane @fandom-garbage @sleepyfxce @livingdeadgirly

C/w: Mentions of blood and violence

'Was Hell truly that bad?'

Sareena thought as she gazed into the night sky.

Bi-han didn't come back yet. She didn't expect to see him yet anyhow, he was supposed to be gone for at least 2 weeks.

The demoness stood at the balcony in your old bedroom. Below outside the main Temple of the Artika many Lin Kuei were busy getting the last bit of work done before curfew. Some were trying to get to the cafeteria to get one last snack, some were coming back from light training before going to bed, others were busy transporting boxes, inventory from distant allies Bi-Han acquired. She even saw Kuai Liang and Tomas in the distance.

They were going somewhere, marching down the stairs with a suspicious look on their faces. They were up to something, Sareena knew that look well, Ashrah had the same look on her face, they were planning something. They didn't notice her looking down at them. They were too far away too, or they knew but ignored her. It wasn't a secret that they did like her, Kuai especially.

He blamed her. Bi-han defecting from Liu Kang; her fault. The deals he had made with me like Quan Chi and Shang strung and other dark forces; her fault. Bi-han cheating on you with her; her fault. He blamed her for everything. They all do. She's not blind to all the looks she's given as she walks by or the whispering that happens behind her back.

Sareena gripped the rose in her hand tighter. It was from your garden, she saw that Bi-Han as he attempted to take care of it. He failed miserably, so she took over and began to take care of it. It was so beautiful, she could tell that you worked hard on it, it would be a shame to let it die, you obviously worked so hard on it.

The beauty of your garden was a bit of warmth to brighten up the dull her lonely existence. Sareena wasn't close to anyone, she had no one. Usually she would be with her sisters, playing and laughing with them, which would make being in hell less harsh. But she can't, Khia and Jataka were dead, murdered by her own sister, Ashrah. She truly had nothing, only her thoughts. So she stood at the balcony and she thought.

"Was hell as bad as she remembered?"

Maybe she was just so overcome with grief at her sister's death that she couldn't stay in that place anymore. In her grief she found Bi-Han or he found her, right at the moment when she really needed someone. And it all felt okay afterwards, Sareena showed Bi-Han the many wonders of hell, and in return Bi-Han brought her up to Earthrealm, the place Ashrah abandoned everything for.

Sareena had found someone to love, and apparently she hurt someone in process, she hurt you. She didn't mean to, but she had fallen in love. And now the man she loves is somewhere in Earthrealm, trying to barge a deal with the likes of Kano. But she knew it was something a lot deeper, he was trying to win you back, she could just sense it. Bi-han had tried to never talk about you ever since you left, but he accidentally said your name here and there. Even in his sleep he whispers your name.

Sareena gripped the rose even tighter, feeling its thorn sink into her skin. 'Was it all worth it?' She wondered as she turned around to go back inside. Was this...this mess that she got herself into worth it for love?

---

Today was a wonderful day for Bi-Han. He enjoyed a sweet morning Sareena, had a trip journey to Fangjian where he had a lovely dinner at the Tea House, and then saw his wife with another man. What a wonderful day, the most wondrous day indeed. Bi-han thought it was so wonderful in fact that the moment he got to his hotel he began throwing whatever he could get his hands on and punching holes in the walls. He even began to lash out with his powers, throwing ice balls here and there freezing and destroying everything they hit. Wonderful.

The moment he saw you two, you and...him, it took everything in him not to break into your house and kill that damned actor. The image of his hands around Johnny's throat flashed before his eyes. He wanted to kill him, kill him and make you watch as he did it. Maybe even stab him open for extra effect.

Bi-han shook his head as he slammed down onto the bed. He still couldn't wrap his own around it. Him? Of all people, HIM?!?!

He would've anticipated Raiden, he saw the way the farmer looked at you. He knew the man had a crush on you, perhaps if you had gotten with Raiden he wouldn't be so furious. But out of all men you could've chose to do this-this betrayal with, you chose JOHNNY CAGE!?!?

The rage in Bi-Han was horrid, he rocked back and forth. All he was seeing right now was red as he began huffing in and out with harsh breathes, snarling like a rabid dog.

You didn't love him, you couldn't have, he tried to convince himself. No, knew that he'd follow didn't you, didn't you? You knew he'd see you with him. You did all this just to make him jealous, there's no possible way you'd ever love him.

You knew how much Bi-Han loathed the actor. In many ways, Johnny was the straw that broke the camels back. He humiliated him, he humiliated his brother. He's an imbecile! An imbecile that was chosen Liu Kang himself to represent Earthrealm alongside a two farmers and an ex gangster. Over him, or any other Lin Kuei. In putting into perspective just how Liu Kang saw his clan, he refused to suffer under him ever again. He'd make his decision for his clan, he'd lead them to glory, where they are respected and not seen as just lapdogs to be used.

You were supposed to be by his side, share this glorious destiny he was carving out for you. But you left him, and now...now you were-were...by the Elder Gods, it was too hard to bare.

He fell back onto his bed and he tried to catch his breath, tried to calm down. But every time he closes his eyes he sees it. You did nothing lewd, you were not kissing him, embracing him hungrily, you were merely holding his hand. But that's not what upset him what upset him was the way you looked at him. In your eyes there was so much love, and that killed him.

I have to pull myself together, Bi-Han thought as he sat up right in the bed. He will be meeting with Kano in just an hour. Bi-han closes his eyes and takes a deep breath in. The image of you and Johnny appears in his head the moment his eyes closed. "ELDER GODS DAMN IT ALL!!!"

*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*

"Who dares!"

The door slowly cracked open and a young face poked it's way out. The Young Black Dragons eyes explored the room, taking in the destruction with a confused horror.

"Speak, what do you want?" Bi-han snapped as he narrows his eyes. The young man cleared his throat and anxiously pushed open the door to fully reveal himself. His stance was awkward, his build thin, almost frail. Bi-han studied him up and down, he looked about 18, possibly event 16, a child.

"Um, Kano's ready. He sent me up here to tell you that he'll see you now." Bi-han could see how terrified the boy was of him, normally he woud feel some form of sympathy. But he could muster an inch of kindness inside of him. "Then what are you waiting for? Take me to him."

---

"Thank you for showing me that, Johnny. Ninja Mime was...an experience."

You say with a forced smile as you followed Johnny to the door. You always had enjoyed all the movie Johnny had shown, they were all fun and enjoyable. But Ninja Mime was...definitely a movie. The best part was Johnny, he provided great company and the snacks he made were amazing, his dumb smile as he happily told you behind the scene facts. It made the movie almost bearable.

"Don't thank me, babe. Thank yourself for allowing yourself to enjoy the experience." Johnny wears an ignorantly blissful smile as checks his reflection in the shade of his glasses. "Hey, when I come back we can start watching the sequels." Your smile is waned for just a second before you immediately bring it back up. "That would simply be splendid, Johnny. I can't wait." You say, hoping the faux enthusiasm you coated your words with would hide the dread in your eyes.

Thankfully, Johnny was in such a good mood that he didn't even notice. You hug him, his cologne was rich, almost intoxicating. It's like he showered himself in it before he came. "You know, in a few months, after so come back, I have an award show to attend, you should come with me as my plus one."

You tilt your head in surprise. "The monks are letting you go?" You didn't know much about Liu Kang or the training at the Wu Shi of their practices. But from what Raiden and Kung Lao described it as, they could barely leave thanks to this mess with Shang Tsung, Liu Kang seems to be pushing them harder and harder, keeping them at the Academy as long as possible. It's as if he's training them for war. You feel a shiver go down your back at just the thought of it.

Johnny shrugged "Liu Kang wanted me to stay, but I worked the 'ol cage charm on 'em and he had a choice but to let me go." A cocky grin flashed across his face as he bragged. "But seriously, though, you should come with me. We could get a dress, do your hair and makeup, everything. Millions of big people will be there, you could rub shoulders with them, make your big break into the industry."

You bit your lip as you thought about it. The idea of it all, the glitz, the glamour, thousands of cameras in your face, right next to one of the biggest actors, all for the world to see. For Bi-Han to see, oh that would kill the man. "I'll...think about it." You say, struggling to hide the excitement you felt thinking of it.

"Alright," Johnny with an equally excited look in his eyes. "I'll leave you with that, I'll kick a sorcerer's ass." His cocky smile returned as he swaggered out the door and into the cold night outside. He didn't see your smile drop and your body gets tense. "Liu Kang sent you to capture Shang Tsung?" You forgot about all the joy you had been feeling as you are brought back to reality. Johnny, Kung Lao will be fighting Shang Tsung. Raiden will have to stay behind so he'll be safe. And Bi-Han will be getting involved sooner or later, and they still think he's on their side.

"Hey..." Johnny turned and noticed the wary look you wore on your face. He smile softens, becoming a much more sincere look. "There's nothing to worry about, Whatever Tsung got I'm sure I can handle it. Besides, I won't be alone either. Lao'll be there, even Kenhsi'll be there. What could possibly go wrong?"

"I know, but it's about Bi-Han. He's been-"

But before you can finish, before you can reveal what your husband is doing, Johnny talks over you. "Oh, don't you worry about him, or maybe you should. Because the moment I see him I'm gonna knock him through a loop. For you...and also because he still owes for that damn Hichuli." You take a deep breath and rub your eyes. You pause for a moment to think, you couldn't sit on this anymore. You have to tell someone about your husband, what he's doing and who's he's doing it to. And you know who exactly to tell it too.

"Will...Will Liu Kang be there as well?" Your eyes fall down to your hands as you began to fidget with them. "Yeah, he sorta has to, being the' Protector of Earthrealm' you know. Kind of comes with the turf." Air fills your lungs as you take a deep breath. "Alright, could...could you speak to him for me please? I-I seek counsel with him...about me and Bi-Han."

"Y/n, You don't have to do that." By now Johnny had stopped with the smile, now he was truly worried about you. "I know...I know you loved him, probably still love him, whatever your planning on doing. You shouldn't put yourself through this. Things weren't easy dealing from Christie, it was hell." His eyes softened as he remembered it all, he took a slightly shaky breath in and out. "I don't want you to go through that pain. You deserve so much better than that asshole. You deserve-"

"I love you." You say abruptly cutting him off, Johnny quickly shuts up. "I love Raiden, I love Kung Lao, I love this new life I have. But I can't be happy, I can't be free unless I finish this chapter of my life. This is something I have to do." It's obvious that Johnny wants to protest, but he doesn't. He lets a deep breath escape his lips, and a clear defeated look is painted on his face. "Alright, I'll talk to Liu Kang. Get him to meet with you so you can sort out whatever it is you want to sort out with Bi-Han."

You sigh in relief, you feel like your body has finally calmed down. You get close to Johnny, finally smiling again and you lay a kiss on his cheek, much to his surprise. "Now go, Tsung's ass won't kick itself."

Nothing else is said gives you one last smile as he turns and walks over to the back where he parked his car. You stay on the steps for a second. Your eyes close as you take a deep breath. You feel cool night air as it rushes through your lungs, it was colder than usual, but you didn't care to think much more of it. You felt...good, amazing even. You were finally going to put an end to this, and then Bi-Han would out of your life forever.

---

"Well, don't be shy, dig in mate "

Kano lay slouched in his chair, around his lips were covered in a slobbered mix of food and alcohol. Bi-han tried not to scrunch his face in disgust at the sight of such a disgusting being. He hardly even touched the food Kano kindly set out before him nor interacted with the women Kano sent to sit next to him in the hopes of charming Bi-Han.

In his efforts to expand the Lin Kuei, Bi-Han has caused his clan to develop quite name for themselves in the underground scene. And ever the opportunist, Kano wanted a slice of this pie.

So now there he was, in a dark and dingy room, the basement to the nice hotel he was staying at. The place wrecked of beer and blood. The Lin Kuei who Bi-Han brought with him were gagging in disgust under their masks. They stood behind Bi-Han like Kano's black dragon stood behind him. None of them seemed to have noticed the smell or disgusting nature of their setting, they were no doubt used to it.

"Kano, your black dragon clan is most.... impressive," Bi-han had hoped his lie was convincing enough. "I believe there is much we can teach each other. And especially many things we can give each other." Kano seemed to hardly listen, as if he didn't truly care about a single thing Bi-Han said. So Bi-Han decided to get right to the point. "It has come to our attention that your clan seems to be in a moment of trouble. A certain blonde has been adamant about bringing your clan in, and might I add that she's been very successful so far."

Kano gave Bi-Han a glare from the side of his eyes. He stops his pigging out and sits up right in his chair. "Yeah, and what of it?" Bi-han sat upright in his chair as well, he smiled at how he caused Kano's to react. "My Lin are excellent warriors, yes. But they assassins as well, anonymity has always been our strength. I can have my people wipe away any trail you have left, no doubt making it harder for Blade to find you. I can have her "taken care of" even. I imagine that would be quite the relief for you and your men."

Kano narrowed his eyes, it was obvious that he was now intrigued. "Sounds too good to be true." Bi-han silent agreed. His attention went to the plate before him, blood sausage. "It is. Because we don't see the point, you've yet to give us a reason to want to help you." Bi-han slowly began to cut into the sausage.

"So what is it, mate? What'll it take to get you on our team?" Kano leaned forward in his chair, his robotic eyes basically glowing. Bi-Han set the knife down and ate a piece of the sausage, a mad smile on his face.

---

You awake from your sleep with a stir. The sound of knocking at your door was enough to do that to anyone. You try to ignore it, maybe whoever it was would go away. They kept knocking, and knocking, and knocking.

You can't take it anymore, you rub your eyes as you pull yourself into a sitting position. Your vision was too blurry to think straight, your brain was in no better condition. Who could that possibly be? Maybe Johnny left something. You groan as your tired bodies slowly stand up. It's like your still in a sleep state as you make your way down the stairs, one slow step at a time.

Whoever's knocking at your door seems to really want you to know their outside, they keep knocking and knocking. It sounds almost desperate, you would've noted that if it wasn't for the fact that your brain was basically still asleep.

"Who is it?" You say, your words barely more than a muffle. No response, just more knocking. You look through the key hole, nothing. Yet you still hear knocking.

This gets you to wake up just a little bit as your hands hesitently go to open the door. You fumble a few times as you try to undo the locks. Normally you wouldn't open the door this time of night, but something felt wrong, something that compelled you to the open the door.

So you did.

And there at your feet is Bi-Han, his lip busted, his nose broken, his eyes black, cuts all over his body, he clutches at his side. "Bi-han." You gasp as you fall to your knees to look at him. "What happened? Who did this to you?" You reached out to touch his swollen face. "The meeting...it went wrong...so...wrong..." he sputtered out, desperately trying to force out words. His eyes are puffy, you have seen the Grandmaster in a beaten state before. But nothing ever like this. "Y/n...I need you to help me..."

"Please," his voice is weak. His whole body seems weak as his head falls into your lap. "Help me."

[lookingfxryou]

Flustered

Notes: A series of small snippets exploring Giyuu and reader’s idiots to lovers relationship <3

prev - next

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

“I could just stare at you forever.”

“Creep.” Came Giyuu’s reply to your flirtation which only made you sigh dramatically.

“Come on! That was a good one! Didn’t you feel your heart skip a beat?” You weren’t one to back down so easily though.

You had befriended the Water Hashira after much efforts and stubbornness from your side, until the poor man had finally relented and did you the honor of replying to your questions.

Lately though, much to Giyuu’s annoyance, you had started flirting with him. (I’m not flirting with you! I’m just trying to make you blush. Don’t think so highly of yourself.”)

And he would rather die before admitting that your one liners, indeed, had some kind of effect on him. You couldn’t really tell though, with the way he always gave you a deadpan expression and a scathing retort. God, he hoped you did not know, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself.

(Why does he think that, though?)

“The only thing I felt was wanting to reach home faster.”

You pouted and walked a few steps ahead of him, turning back to look at him and walking backwards.

“One of these days, I’ll make you blush so hard that you’ll have a nosebleed.”

That unwillingly pulled out a smile from him which had you beaming. Now that he looked at you, you were really beautiful. Sure you were one of the strongest slayers and had prevailed against a lot of deadly opponents, but there was something about your smile, the way it had your eyes crinkling, that gave him pause. Made him think of you in a totally different way.

Shaking his head, your conversation stopped as you reached his house. You wasted no time in going ahead and calling out for Tanjiro and Nezuko.

(What even were they doing in his home, he had no clue anymore. Something about being in the most quiet and inconspicuous place. As if there was anything inconspicuous about those two.)

“Don’t you have to go home?” He called out making his way inside and you stopped before furrowing your brows at him.

“Don’t steal my babies from me.”

He just sighed and went ahead to his room. God, you were infuriating, had no sense of personal space, kept talking to him–

“Did he come around then?” He could hear Tanjiro’s voice, dull since they were probably farther from his private quarters, but his nonetheless.

He could hear your giggles.

“You are too optimistic, Tanjiro. He still thinks I’m just trying to make him blush.”

A pause.

“Which is true, I suppose, but he doesn’t really take my words seriously.”

“Why don’t you just tell him that you like him?”

Giyuu felt his breath hitch at Tanjiro’s words. There was no way that you liked him. The antisocial, rude, idiotic him.

“And risk him completely shutting down on me, and everyone else? No, I can be patient. Besides I got him to smile today!”

He could hear Tanjiro’s exclamations but his heart was beating so fast that he couldn’t even think properly. Did you really–? But you could choose anyone else–? Why him?

Your voice turned lower, more serious and Giyuu had to strain his ears to hear your next words.

“He’s one of the kindest people I know, Tanjiro. And maybe he doesn’t see it himself but I do. I see the way he is with strangers, helping silently, not asking for anything. I see him with you and Nezuko and how much he cares, even if he doesn’t show it. He deserves so much more and I hope he will get it someday. Until then, I’ll be his friend and stay by his side.”

This was not happening, no, no, no. He could feel it, his skin getting clammy, heart beating fast and the heating of his face.

You thought this much about him?

Your conversation turned to other topics after that and Giyuu moved away to go outside where the cool air caressed his warm, blushing cheeks.

You would never let him live it down if you saw him like this.

Well, since you came all this way to his home, he supposed it was only natural to ask you to have lunch together.

Along with Tanjiro and Nezuko, of course!

Just a normal lunch with friends.

[sometimesoliloquy]

THT Is a Love Story

(Yeah I said it. And I'll tell you why.)

In the very bittersweet context of being in the middle of the final season, and with the knowledge of all the press notes/directional spoilers out there ramping up to the finale, I’ve been thinking a lot about The Handmaid’s Tale as a a whole. What it’s about, at its core, and what would accordingly make for a truly satisfying ending. Margaret Atwood’s novel, of course, has presented a disturbing and brilliantly crafted political commentary and cautionary tale since its debut in 1985: the bleak but ultimately hopeful story of an ordinary woman’s survival trapped in a cold and cruel extremist regime where human rights (and particularly women's rights) are a thing of the past, made possible by environmental ruin and the everyday apathy of ordinary people. The show is that too, of course. It’s also at it's core a story of loss, perseverance and ultimately revolution. But moreover what weaves all the themes together in a truly compelling way: I think at essentially the very heart (fittingly), it is a love story. Not just in the most obvious romantic sense, but on so many broader levels. It’s a love story of parents and children, of family (born and chosen), of human connection. It’s a love letter to the perseverance of the human spirit, the ability of the heart to expand and evolve, the triumph of light over dark in the soul and in the world at large. And dancing at the center of it from the very start (and enduring against incredible odds) has been Nick & June: yes, the very epitome of epic, passionate romance with a capital “R”, but also on a deeper level, the symbolic and tangible embodiment of all of the above.

I’ve also been reflecting a bit on some of the things the show’s writers and producers have been saying about the ending and the last season in general, like how it has been “crafted with viewers in mind more than ever” and focused on “delivering a rewarding conclusion for the audience.” They’ve also hinted at a purposeful harkening back to the very first season and touching on all the seasons in between. All of this would have me believe they are paying close attention to staying consistent with the repeated motifs of the show, and striving for satisfying, full circle cohesiveness AND catharsis in the end. With this in mind, I wanted to go back and explore how the ever-present and echoing theme of love is depicted through the words of the characters themselves. Namely here, a trio of major power players since the beginning: June, Nick, and (in the opposing corner) one Mr. Fred Waterford.

…

June:

"What else is there to live for?"… "Love." - 1x05 "It’s lack of love we die from." - 3x05 "Nichole, she was born out of love. Her father’s a driver named Nick… he helped me to survive." - 3x05 "It’s too dangerous” "No it isn’t… at least someone will remember me… at least someone will care when I’m gone. That’s something." - 1x08

June believes in love. This is made clear from the very beginning and is one of the core tenets of her character. It’s not a “nice to have” and it’s not something she’s able to separate from herself, even in Gilead, a place where love is essentially forbidden, where it should feel impossible. It is framed by her as essential to life itself, like water or oxygen. It’s what she credits her very survival to. Moreover, she believes that love is worth dying for, it’s that vital to her. If June stops fighting for love, stops believing in the power of or perhaps even the very existence of love, who is she then? How depressing and devoid of hope would that ending be? Sure, the June we bid farewell to at the end of 6x10 will inevitably not be exactly the same June we met in 1x01, but given the consistent through narrative, we should expect this core value of hers to remain steady, if not indeed grow in conviction.

...

Nick:

" Love is patient, love is kind... Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." - 2x05

It’s fitting that it’s Nick who reads this passage in the show because perhaps more than any other character, Nick’s love throughout has been the very epitome of the verse. We’ve seen his actions play it out literally line by line. Nick knows his Bible verses. He picked this one for a reason, his (barely) coded Hail Mary message to June: I’m still here, this isn’t over, please don’t give up on us. Nick believes the words he reads to her, believes them to his very soul, and he continues to show it in his efforts season after season, demonstrating the constant and undying nature of his devotion. It’s notable that in fact, the full 13:8 verse reads "Love never fails, but where there are prophecies they will cease, where there are tongues they will be stilled, where there is knowledge it will pass away," emphasizing love as the one true thing that remains.

"I’m trying to keep you alive. You and our baby" - 2x02 “I’m trying to keep you alive" - 4x02 "I just want her to stay alive"- 4x03 "She changed you, she changed me" - 4x03

It’s Nick's love for June (and Nichole) that drives him more than anything else, and we see the real, tangible reverberations throughout the story. June and Nichole are safe, alive and free (at least in part) because of his love. Nick is changed because of this same love. And June’s love saves him from a life lacking in meaning, purpose and true connection. If Nick fully turns to "the dark side", if he becomes somehow irredeemable (particularly in June's eyes), it would negate in the cruelest and most nonsensical way all of this, and in one fell swoop rip to shreds the hopeful rainbow of his cumulative character arc.

...

Fred:

"Love isn’t real. it was never anything but lust with a good marketing campaign" - 1x05 “Every love story is a tragedy if you wait long enough." - 1x05

Fred on the other hand, scorns the idea of love. His cynical, contemptuous views are presented as the antithesis to June's quite early on. In rose-glass tinted flashbacks of early life with Serena, we see glimpses that this may not have always been the case, but what was once their love story has indeed turned to tragedy: corrupted into a bitter, twisted thing under the weight of the monster they created together. In the present, he does not believe in love and the selfish callousness of his actions (in stark contrast to Nick) clearly shows it, over and over again. To Fred, 1 Corinthians 13 is just a silly meaningless little verse (of no more consequence than the vapid old fashion magazines he "gifts" to June) in the book that he uses, not as a guide or an inspiration, but as a weapon: a cudgel to wield for his pathological ego-driven power trips, no matter how many must suffer (including his once beloved wife), how many innocent lives it ruins or much how it blackens his soul.

...

If in the final episodes Nick were to be exposed as a “true villain”  who ends up burning June (and in fact his soul) in favor of “power and prestige”, then Fred will have been proven correct all along, and we (like June) will have been stupid to ever believe in love.

- If Nick truly decides to throw away everything he's done, everything he's held close to his heart even at his own peril all these years, to remain in a dismal teeter totter of emotional pain and privilege in Gilead;

- If June refuses to forgive, to endure, to truly fight for Nick as he's fought for her;

- If they truly flame out in epic betrayal and irreparable rupture:

Then we will know love has failed. And Fred was right. Love doesn’t save, it destroys. Love doesn’t endure, because in fact it was never even real to begin with. Love isn't the ultimate reason and purpose, but a tragedy. A lie. 

That's not the story. That CAN’T BE the story. Fred doesn’t win. He was so dead wrong that he is now dead and buried for it. He eschewed love a long time ago and it warped him into a depraved, cruel shell of a human with acts so heinous under his belt that we all cheered as he was hunted down and the flesh savagely torn from his body, because he deserved it. 

No, this isn’t The Debased Delusional Small-Weak-Man Commander’s Tale. This is not the story of how Fred was right after all.

This story is love endures all things. This story is love never fails. This story is love lifts us up, love saves us and gives us the will to fight. And that (someday) a child conceived in love in this brutal place and saved by the love of her parents will unite with her long-lost but dearly loved sister to burn it to the ground.

They may want the viewers to believe that it’s possible for Nick to be irrevocably lost for the drama of it all; for the shock of the reveal, the reckoning and the emotional payoff when the ship rights itself. And I’ll keep my clown makeup handy in case I end up being astonishingly wrong, but I just can’t see how they would so blatantly, not just blow up the story, but in doing so essentially erase the very core of the story we’ve been told up til now.

(just look at them, don't you fucking dare break up this family for good!)

*screencaps/captions sourced by me*

[daydreamerhabitz]

All my controversial/unpopular personal opinions about Arcane in general because I haven't gotten over it yet and don't care if the hype is already over.

• Ekko's character had so much potential and was completely butchered/wasted;

• That being said, Timebomb is such a terrible ship that they needed a whole au to justify it instead of actually trying to explore the whole dumpster fire that is canon Jinx and Ekko's dynamic. Might be because I'm gay for Jinx, but I felt nauseous watching that episode. It was a waste of time;

• Vi. Poor Vi. What they did to you in season 2 was horrible. Season 1 Vi would have never joined the enforcers and I say that having been a league player before watching Arcane (Yes, I liked torturing myself). They established such a beautiful character, only to completely ignore her core values and personality for the sake of the narrative. That's not good writing. I saw someone once mention that it would have been interesting if Vi had been forced to join them and gosh, it would have been such a blast! It could have been a way to further introduce Caitlyn's descent into dictatorship, show more of Vi's inner struggles and maybe we could have seen Vi being a sort of double agent for the firelights... Vi deserved way better than what she got;

• CaitVi was cute in season 1, but terrible in season 2. I stopped shipping it entirely;

• Caitlyn's whole villain/dictator arc ended too quickly and she needed a better redemption. Or not. Make her worse before she gets slowly better;

• Sevika, Ekko, Mel.... Aka, all the beautiful characters of color of the show who had interesting stories to tell, but were reduced to shells of they could have been. Seriously. The whole black rose arc was so confusing and felt so rushed. The firelights? What firelights, they completely forgot about them until it was time for the music video/final battle. Sevika being given a council seat felt like an attempt to make up for how she was put aside for the sake of a bad written narrative;

• The firelights would have never teamed up with Jinx. I love my girl but they had beef with her. She murdered thousands of them for gods' sake!

• Speaking of her. Jinx, love of my life, my wife.... I'm a psychology student, so I'm aware mental illnesses are very subjective to person and cannot be precisely predicted. Many people found her characterization off in season 2 and indeed, it was very different, but not completely impossible in my view. However, by the way it was written, it made a lot of people interpret it as it suddenly healed by Isha or Silco's death, which is... well, unrealistic. A child's presence could be an emotional anchor and getting out of a toxic environment helps a lot, but it certainly doesn't make your all mental health issues almost 100% disappear. Anyways, like all things in season 2, it could have been written better. Killing her off in the end also sent a terrible message and felt like a stab in the back to the many mentally ill viewers who related to her;

• Isha, adorable baby, but she was just a narrative tool. I knew she was going die the moment I saw her;

• Speaking of narrative tools, so was Maddie. They put her there so we'd be focused on hating her instead of noticing how problematic CaitVi got;

• Ekko and Heimerdinger should have had some conflict with each other. You're telling me that Ekko, my baby boy, would completely ignore the fact that the furr ball had a part to play in Zaun's terrible living by turning a blind eye to it? Nuh Uh!

• Arcane should have had more seasons or more episodes because it needed more time to tie together all the elements introduced in season 1;

• CaitVi's sex scene in the prison cell was disgusting. There, I said it. (And don't go calling me homophobic because guess what? I'm one of them queers!) Vi just failed in trying to get her sister back for like the hundredth time and is probably worried sick because Jinx was clearly suicidal, plus she's IN A CELL, a place where she spent years being tortured in, and then the writers go off and make her go "Oh yes, sex." Even if she did it for the sake of coping, how can I think it's okay for Caitlyn to come onto Vi, who's clearly in a vulnerable position? This was the nail in the coffin for me;

• The whole "hextech is evil because magic is evil and corrupted and blah blah blah' is lazy. LAAAAZY. Instead, talk about how any scientific discovery, any tool, magic or not, can be harmful if used incorrectly. ACTUALLY, use the whole original league lore where the crystal thingies were actually the souls from those bugs I forgot the name of and make a parallel of how Piltover's progress was built on the blood and detriment of the people of Zaun;

• Jesus Magic Herald Viktor was great, but Machine Herald Viktor will be missed;

Anyways, I think have more of these, but my head stopped working right now. So byeee!

[divinecrashingcourse]

We know Trina was fully aware that godhood would be a prison for Miquella.

The thing about prison is, you don't get what you want in there. You don't get to be who you want to be, or spend your life with your loved ones, or save anyone outside while you can barely save yourself. You don't get to avoid violence just because you have good intentions because violence is all around you and prison itself is part of a violent cycle that never breaks from within.

We know Trina was Miquella's other self, literally "half of the body". Surely Trina's knowledge used to be Miquella's knowledge too.

We know Trina thought Miquella must be killed and in fact instructed us to kill him. We know Miquella wanted to kill her too and in fact left her behind to bleed, wither and die, likely after having pushed her down a cliff.

When half of you and the other half took actions to kill each other, it's not murder. It's a suicide.

Many agreed the whole "no cost too great" mindset for ascension in the DLC felt very disconnected and disingenuous. Indeed Miquella showed no interest in becoming a god in the base game, since abandoning fundamentalism they have been more focused on materials - physical, tangible things rather than wrestling with concepts and philosophies. Instead of relying on their identity as an empyrean, they preferred using their own hands and knowledge to practice crafts as a sage and a scholar.

Then we were told what they thought of godhood via Trina. We followed their blood trail of literal total self destruction and reached the spot where they attempted suicide. We saw and heard them hold back a desperate cry when they said "I will become a god", alone in a memory space that's stripped of all colours.

Yet many still believed this was what Miquella wanted all along. I find that extremely unlikely.

Why abandon doubt and vacillation in the first place? If there weren't multiple alternatives to begin with, they wouldn't have had to abandon vacillation i.e. the inability to make a choice among two or more options.

We know for sure one of the options was to kill Mohg and use his body as a vessel to contain Radahn's soul to return as a god, which was what they eventually went with, although they didn't kill Mohg themselves.

It's very obvious that Miquella wouldn't want to go down this path. If you look at how they thought of Marika even after knowing about the Shamans:

(Count Ymir dialogue)

They despised her. It was unkind, given Shamans' history, but they were too angry to even pretend they had any compassion for her in front of Ymir.

Many people more or less sympathised with Marika after the DLC but even with the same knowledge Miquella's verdict was that Marika was simply wrong and insane, and she was the one to blame for everyone's pain that came after. This aspiring god of compassion, who sought to embrace all, couldn't embrace what their parents did. They resented her so much that they were determined to abandon everything they inherited from her, to give away every last strand of their flesh and bleed themselves dry, just to cut all ties with her, and her age of the Erdtree.

Even after the charm broke, the vengeful hornsent who was eager to kill all Erdtree denizens still fully acknowledged Miquella's redemption. This could not have simply been done by their charm.

Leda said to us:

A seduction and a betrayal. Hornsent grandam also spoke about being "betrayed" by Marika, who she referred to as a "wanton strumpet"; a low blow, at Marika's private history. Likely, Marika "seduced" a significant member of the Hornsents to gain protection, then forsook their soul and used their body as a vessel for her other partner, and it's therefore such a personal, despicable betrayal in Hornsent grandam's eyes. If it was irrelevant, she wouldn't have made such an emphasis on how Marika was sexually unrestrained.

Miquella clearly knew this. Whether they knew it was the only way to return as a god is another matter - I tend to believe Miquella only found the secret rite scroll later on - otherwise it wouldn't have been a secret rite (hidden in the corner of s secret library) for a sealed away tower hidden in the super secret shadow lands - and when they "spoke of the beginning", they only thought it was due to Marika's cruelty and insanity that she heartlessly used someone who fully trusted them for her ascension.

They condemned Marika so much that they tore their own body apart to show everyone their determination to never even come close to Marika's path, that they would be on the side of the downtrodden. As many have rightly pointed out, killing Mohg and using his body as a vessel would just be repeating Marika's doing which renders all their sacrifice and redemption pointless. Their promises to the Hornsents would become the biggest lie that haunts them for life.

No matter how they felt towards Mohg, they would for sure hate the idea of being even remotely like Marika, not to mention doing the similar deeds as her to ascend and return as a god. They also couldn't afford having their bloodline tainted again by themselves and having their future children think of them the same way as they now think of Marika. Think about all the omen children who would eventually figure out what happened to their father. It's not possible to rely on their charm (of which the extent of power was obviously limited) forever and ever. They came here to make things right, not to start another vicious cycle.

Naturally, one of the other options would be to not go ahead with the secret rite, although if they so choose, they'd be lingering in the LoS as half flesh half spirit forever, breaking their promise to Malenia that they'd return to her.

The vessel must be a sacred, horned body, and it must be emptied and refilled with a lord's soul. It's kept vague in the English version, but relatively clear in Japanese that the vessel and the soul need to be from two separate sources.

I don't think using Mohg's body as the vessel shows how indifferent or hateful they were towards Mohg - committing a thousand years' companionship with someone's body itself is incredibly sexually intense, and says something about their preference.

We can clearly see it from their attitude toward Marika that when they truly resent someone, they would not hide it, and they would want nothing to do with them. They also believe the ways they treat flesh and bones bear meanings and emotions. Abandoning their own flesh means cutting ties with their origin. Retaining Mohg's flesh should hold the same weight. There might be other options, but they'd rather it be Mohg's body that's by their side, if it must come to that.

Only the choice between two betrayals - two loved ones - can be so impossible.

In a way, Miquella mirrored each of their followers' qualities: they were academic like Ansbach, youthful like Freyja, charismatic like Leda, and determined to be the best in their craft like Dane.

They could also be hesitant like Thiollier, indecisive like Moore, and resentful like the Hornsent. This was when they faced the exact same questions as Moore:

Should I stay sad forever (about the fact that I must betray one of them) or put it behind me (do it, and get it over with)?

They had been choosing "I don't know" for so long that they eventually abandoned the very feature of vacillation itself to get it over with.

Now the new Miquella thought without doubt and vacillation, that maybe they could accept killing Mohg, and reviving Radahn's soul. They could betray the horned people a little for now and say a big sorry later. Mohg loved them so much that he would give anything they asked for anyway.

But they didn't actually kill him. I believe when Mohg was felled by the tarnished, Miquella's blood ran cold.

Entertaining the idea of betraying someone who wholeheartedly trusts and supports you and going against everything you believe in and represent is one thing, executing such a plan and staring into the aftermath is another. They were like those who joked about killing hundreds of people a day but in fact couldn't even make themselves shoot a cow.

Out of love and respect towards themselves, they thought it was best to die.

Even without the ability to think critically, the loss was simply too much to bear. They knew they must stop now, as they haven't managed to save anyone so far, and they wouldn't be able to save anyone if they carried on as they were even more dangerous than before. Hell, they didn't want to become a god to begin with, merely saying it out loud almost made them cry as a child.

I disagree whenever someone says Miquella was cruel. They were kind enough to decide they should spare the rest of the world from themselves.

But they failed at dying too. The thing that climbed up from the bottom of the fissure wearing Miquella's face, was not Miquella or Trina anymore. It was mindless, heartless, bodiless, and so very afraid.

The final boss was only titled "Promised Consort Radahn" & "Radahn, Miquella's Consort", instead of "Radahn and Miquella" for a reason.

The last remembrance only spoke about Miquella's innocent youth, a broken memory from when they didn't even know what asking someone to be their king fully entailed, as if the rest hundreds years of their life as a prodigy and a brilliant craftsman didn't exist, for a reason.

For Miquella was not there. Just like Mohg, Miquella's soul had also been torn into pieces and mostly forsaken by themselves. Descartes said "I doubt, therefore I am; in other words, I think, therefore I am." He was quite right.

Without doubt, vacillation, love and fear, without their very being, what exactly was there left?

Only blind ambition and violence, like every other power hungry man - as reflected in Light of Miquella - submit to him, or be annihilated.

This is why killing this last bit of them was mercy and forgiveness - Miquella themselves would have hated to exist like this. It would be cruel not to put them down. We were essentially their war surgeon in the end.

We reached their voice mail, a faint echo of them from yonks ago, stripped of all nuances. The lights were still on, but they would never be home again.

[skelliko]

Baji Keisuke |°- he broke up with you, but it was a mistake -- small, tiny bits of angst.

he didn't know what he was doing at all, he thought he understood but turns out he didn't. he thought he could go on with his day without having that giddy, warm feeling whenever you're mentioned or when Baji gets a vibration from his phone and without even looking to see who it's from he just knows it's you which causes a smile to creep up.

now, whenever he gets a text notification he jumps right into it thinking its you wanting him back but no, it's not you. it's some spam message or a text from one of his buds sending him homework answers that he forgot about. day instantly ruined.

he knows he's the one that ended it but why didn't you chase after him? it's a shit way to think and it doesn't make any sense at all because then what's the point in breaking up if he secretly wanted you to convince him to stay?

he regrets his decision, but also doesn't have the courage to face you again with this humiliation that only Baji, himself, has gained and caused. he didn't see the tears fall over your cheeks but he saw how you brought your hand up to your face when your back was turned. he knows you mourn in silence but looking back in that moment, he wished you to of slapped him for making that stupid statement and told him to take you back.

is that selfish of him? yes. because the only reason he broke up with you is because he was confused on what the feeling of love is supposed to feel like. in the beginning it seemed like a regular teenage romance, but as months went by he started to feel stronger emotions for you and that scared the hell out of him.

Keisuke being scared of love. he's not afraid of 50 men charging at him for a fight and it's him alone, he's not afraid of 100 either. he's not afraid of a knife battle, he's not afraid to speak up what's on his mind nor lead a large group within a gang, he's also not afraid to die for his friends. but he's afraid of love.

what is he supposed to say to get you back? 'hey I change my mind, can we get back together and cuddle? I miss your warmth' fuck no, you deserve an explanation and he's been pondering over it so much to the point where hes started to question if his heart can even beat anymore due to the distance between you both.

but is saving himself from humiliation better than losing you? no of course not. if it means to tell you how scared he was of a sappy emotion and you laugh at him then so be it if it means that he gets to see your smile, and if you don't laugh then he sure hopes you understand and don't stay consistent on being apart. cause this loneliness is becoming unbearable.

he ended up mentioning the situation to draken, why him out of everyone? cause draken has more experience with the feeling of love than anyone else. aside from takemichi but there's no way that hed be of help for Baji. and chifuyu gets all his relationship advice from his shows and books which all showcase high standards. and pah-chin is still in the middle of discovering his own feels for a certain someone.

"what the fuck Baji" are the first words that came out of Draken's mouth. it wasn't disappointed nor anger but rather a small push to get Baji actually thinking things over and becomes aware of not only his own emotions but yours as well. If Baji truly loved you then he wouldn't have waited this long, if he did then he wouldn't have even considered splitting up in the first place even if he was afraid. he could have talked his feelings out with you first but noooo he chose to go the hard way.

what the fuck indeed. he ended up being too focused on the humiliation on his side rather than the hurt on your side. now he feels like a complete douche.

sooner or later Keisuke finally managed to collect his mental strength In contacting you, he may have physical strength but his mentality is constantly going from one place to another, though with a bit of encouragement from draken he finally got over the fear. he was relieved that you hadn't blocked his number otherwise he would have to go up to you in person first and if so then he would have pondered longer.

it was a simple message but half the time simple and straightforward is enough to get the message across "hey, can we meet up? i want to explain a few things" "please" he double texted making sure that you get his notification, also wishing behind the screen that you reply soon.

he was starting to worry that you didn't want to talk things out and you were purposely ignoring him. he paced around his room, tried to listen to music to relax but then songs that you both would listen to came up and that just made him feel a lot worse, so he scraped that and started to tidy up his room. the nervous anticipation for your message kept increasing and decreasing with every little activity that he'd do to distract himself from you, it'd either make him calm for a few moments or make him remember.

but once you finally replied he couldn't have been more relaxed once you agreed, it was like a bubble popping. sure it took a few hours but baji convinced himself that you were just busy or maybe you were thinking though certain scenarios, which is what he'd do if roles were reversed. thought him thinking about it now makes him realise that he'd probably be pissed off if he was you, and the both of you were together for a reason meaning he was gonna have to face you while you're irritated.

he brought this all on himself, but he can handle you in that state, or in any state to be precise. he just wants to finally see you again and hopefully make things right.

a large mix of anxiety and excitement filled him up knowing that you both were gonna see each other face to face and talk without any more lies, he said he lost interest in you but that was far from the truth considering that he's actually gained more, and baji is almost dying to apologise to you and hopefully make things right. who knew he'd go this mad over someone.

even his mom realised the difference in Baji when you came into his life, and to now when you're out of it. she knows what happened and what Baji did since he ended up telling her after he told draken but that was mainly cause he asked about you, though that mainly just caused more confirmation of how much of a big mistake he did and sure enough after his mother's words it clicked that he needs you back more than anything. even his mom misses having you around and that's when you know it's serious.

when the time and day came he chose to walk to the meet up spot so that he can collect himself carefully and prepare his words. however on his way there he realised that he can't come empty handed with no tools to fix your heart. it'd almost make it seem like his job would be done half-assed if he went to fix something but only brought one tool. and his only tool in this scenario would be words that could be either taken lightly or with weight.

he wanted to bring you something, anything to physically show how sincere he is but he couldn't turn back to go to a flower shop and be late, that could just cause you to overthink that he doesn't actually care, plus baji wanted to be a little early to prove to you that he really does mean in wanting to explain everything.

so instead he quickly crossed the road to the opposite pathway and reached over someone's fenced, front garden that had some rose bushes and carefully snapped off the prettiest one he could find, one that he could be sure that you'd be obsessed over by how perfect the petals are. for the rest of the walk his finger tips had small, bleeding punctures from snapping off the thorns to make it safe for you to hold... that's if you accept it.

one is an odd number of roses but it's cutely appreciated either way holding one flower in your hand, two is an odd-even number of roses to have and holding just two flowers next to each other in one hand feels off, three and four are an okay amount to have but baji already spent a few dedicated minutes in trying to eye out the perfect rose. the people that own that bush should really try and take care of the roses more.

and there you are, walking right towards him, he could tell that you seem a little stiff and he doesn't blame you considering how you both last seen each other. though despite the whole reason for being here it feels almost nostalgic, because this spot is the place where you both first met where you apologised for mistaking him as someone else and here he is apologising to you in the same place for mistaking his feelings.

 ♡----

[demonslayerunhinged]

Unhinged Cracknalysis

The Many Voices of Sanemi (Part 2)

I previously talked about my observations on Sanemi's voice and how it changes depending on his emotional state, this is a continuation of those observations. This post can be read as a standalone, but if you want proper context, go here.

Okay so…

I was watching the HT arc for like the thousandth time (as you do) when I noticed another 'Sanemi Voice'. So like usually Sanemi's voice is cool, deep and levelled but during these three separate scenes his voice sounds uneven.

When he confronts Giyuu during the meeting.

When Tanjiro cock-blocks him during their 'training'.

During his Taisho secret segment, here and here.

*The remaining two scenes are links cuz of that fuckass Tumblr one limit video bullshit 🙄

Anyway, notice how his voice gets comically high-pitched like he's going through a second round of puberty?😂 Why would his voice pitch change in these scenes? What's so special or particular about them? Well, one thing I noticed was that in all three scenes, Sanemi was in a situation that I can only describe as 'uncomfortable'.

Let me explain.

first scene

In the Hashira meeting, he confronts Giyuu about leaving the meeting. I think this is the first time he's directly addressing Giyuu about this since their breakup. So, it makes sense that he'll be emotionally distressed as he publicly questions his former booty call on what is obviously a pain point for him that caused friction in their relationship.

Yes, I will make everything about GiyuuSane. Yes, Sanemi and Giyuu are exes. I will die on this hill. don't like it? eat a dick.

second scene

During the 'training' when Tanjiro 'interrupts' them, Sanemi was partaking in an emotionally charged fight-conversation with Giyuu that was obviously meant to be private as he's mad at Tanjiro for 'spying' on them.

It could be that he was nervous by Tanjiro(bestest boy❤)'s presence and him watching this supposed intimate moment between them. Then we have Tanjiro(bestest boy❤) revealing his love of ohagi in front of the guy he wants to get with. His anxiety levels must've been through the roof!

third scene

In the Taisho Secret segment his voice is all over the place and I also noticed something weird: Sanemi doesn't look at the camera, like ever. Not. Even. Once.

Compare this to the other Hashira who have no problems looking at the camera and even addressing the audience. Gyomei was distracted by innocence and pussy, so he doesn't count.

Don't believe me? Watch the whole video here. This scene below doesn't matter because he was obviously looking at and addressing Tanjiro.

Sidenote: The Taisho Secret segment that had all the Hashira in it sorta doesn't count either because he wasn't the focus except in the beginning. Even then, his voice isn't as cool as it was in the main episode. Proof here.

I mean, you could interpret it as Sanemi not wanting to take part in the segment or that he doesn't have time or him just being grumpy, but here's what I think:

I think Sanemi was nervous. My baby girl was nervous! Cue audience AWWWWWWWW! soundtrack.

ok, why tho?

So like, I have this theory that Sanemi has anxiety and how his anger, impulsive actions and behaviors are a reflection of that. Knowing that, it would make sense that he might have a bit of social anxiety as well, which gets triggered when he's the center of attention. Kinda paradoxical for a guy who proudly displays his tits, but alas we contain multitudes.

Gyomei also mentioned that Sanemi is shy or easily gets embarrassed-depending on which translation you read. In the group photo they took in the final chapter shows him looking away like he's indeed shy or embarrassed.

Another sidenote: There's an ask I got (I'm so sorry, anon! 😭) Where the op asked if he was turning his face to the right because that was where Genya could've been if he was alive or something. I think he was just camera shy and probably wanted to hide his scars 🥺

Soooooooooo with all the evidence provided, my deduction is:

Sanemi's voice pitch gets higher when he's nervous, anxious, or uncomfortable!

He's a nervous bebe! He's a shy boy!

Why you no face the camera, Shy Boy? Why your voice turn zesty, Shy Boy? Why you turn away, Shy Boy? Why you shy, Shy Boy? Shy Boy! Shy Boy!

Just another thing to add to my Sanemi Gap Moe list! So cute! Ahhhhhhhhhhh! ❤🥰

In Conclusion, Sanemi is a shy bbg whose voice reaches near dog whistle levels of squeak when he's nervous or uncomfy, and he needs to be protected at all cost. Thanks for reading!

Also, I'll be referring to my analysis posts as cracknalysis from now on, cuz that's basically how they feel atp.

[bluebellhairpin]

Lee Dutton X Fem!Reader

Summary: Before you there was nothing. After you, there was nothing too. You've accepted it, but Lee's fought it as long as he could. Now it's time for him to let you go. (aka. you die first.) (wc. 3.8k)

Warnings: Angst to angst (it's all only angst, no comfort at all). Death/heavy grief (reader is terminally ill, what sort of illness isn't specified (alluded to be cancer)(I feel like I need a DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT warning to pair with this bc I cried writing it)). Reader is fem coded (pronouns are she/her, so brace yourself).

Listening to: 'Supermarket Flowers' by Ed Sheeran - "Dad always told me, "Don't you cry when you're down", but mum, there's a tear every time that I blink. Oh, I'm in pieces, it's tearing me up, but I know a heart that's broke is a heart that's been loved."

part two || Masterlist || AO3 link

Lee knew he was going to love you forever from the moment he first saw you. How much that would be, he didn’t know. He knew how much now. 

He’d fought tooth and nail for the ranch, and when enough time passed between you both, he fought tooth and nail for you too. He thought that was hard. Knowing he’d have to say goodbye to you though, that was even harder. 

You’d been diagnosed months ago, without treatment the doctors said you wouldn’t last long. With treatment you’d last less, or longer, there was no way to tell how your body would react - the only thing for certain was that your life was going to get cut short. When Lee married you, he promised forever and then some. He’d never once thought that forever would be such a small amount of time. 

Everyone could tell that your end was coming soon. His father could, Jamie and Lloyd could, even Kayce had put aside his family feud to show he was indeed ready to help because from so far away he could see it too. You even accepted it. Lee, forever running with stubborn cowboy blood through his veins, seemed to be the only one to not be ready to let go yet. 

So there he was, laying on the couch with you tucked into his chest, watching the fire and pretending like everything was fine. Pretending like you weren’t one bad day away from leaving him alone in the world. 

He could feel it getting close. Death wasn’t at the door yet, but it was on the ranch somewhere. It was coming for you in the way your fingers weren’t getting warm anymore, and how you ate less and less each day. He wanted to fend off the reaper as long as possible, but it was getting harder and harder. He didn’t want to admit it. 

He didn’t want to let you go yet. 

You shifted on top of him, cheek pressed to his chest and your hair getting caught in his beard. From the way your fingers played at the edge of his shirt collar, he knew you wanted to say something. 

“What is it baby?” he asked with an encouraging squeeze around your hips. 

“I’d have liked to go out one more time.” you said. His eyes shifted from the fire to the top of your head. 

“Out where?” he asked again. He could see the slope of your nose, and the top of your cheekbone, he was distracted for a moment by trying to memorise how your eyelashes fluttered. He broke from the haze in time to hear your reply. 

“On my horse.” you sighed. “One more ride, just you and me and the open country. Like we used to.” 

“We still could.” It was a knee jerk reply. One that, from Lee, came from a place of longing. He wanted that too, he wanted the old normal back - even for a single ride. From the way you slumped against him, he knew you’d disagree. 

“I don’t have the strength anymore. I’d slide right off the saddle.” Your voice was full of defeat, and Lee hated it - but you were right. You could barely walk around the cabin without holding on to something. He thought, then as his thoughts collected into a plan, he smiled. 

“We still could,” he said slowly. 

“Lee.” A warning. It was the same tone you’d use when he got a look on his face that told you he was going to splash you with bubbles while doing the dishes. It was meant to be a playful warning - but you sounded so tired, so it was just sad instead. 

“I’ll take you. Clyde can take two. I’ll make sure you don’t slide off.” he said. His offer weighed heavy in the air. Moments past before you moved at all. When you finally shifted, you slid slightly between him and the back of the couch, and looked up at him. He looked back at you, hand rising to trace the outline of your bottom lip with a finger. 

“Okay.” you finally whispered, smiling gently. “I’d love that.” He smiled too, taking a hold of your chin and pressing a soft kiss to your lips. 

“Me too.”

Surprisingly, you looked to be in good spirits today. You were up before Lee - a feat in itself even compared to before you were sick, Lee could count on one hand the amount of times it happened, including this one. 

You’d even gotten dressed in all but your boots by the time Lee got himself organised. It made him hopeful that today would be a good day. That the thought of doing something you really wanted to gave you a second wind. Maybe you’d hold out a little longer. That Lee might have more time to say goodbye. 

When he took you down to the barn, Clyde was already tacked up. Rip and Lloyd stood chatting in the barn door. His truck pulled to a stop, and by the time he opened your door, both men had split up. Lloyd made his way over to the horse, while Rip lingered in the door. 

You gave Rip a little wave with your fingers, and he tipped in hat before turning to disappear into the barn. 

Lee then led you over to Lloyd, who took his place as your support while he mounted Clyde. By the time he settled and turned to help you on, you were smiling shyly up at Lloyd. 

“Let’s get you up.” The older man said. Before you reached for Lee’s hand, you lent over and pressed a short kiss of thanks to Lloyd’s jaw. He immediately took off his hat and shifted to start helping you onto the horse. 

Lee couldn’t believe that was all it took to fluster the man, but then again when it came to you, he couldn’t talk. You’d been dating for years before you got married, and even then it took a few more years again for him to stop blushing to some degree after a kiss from you. It seemed like that was forever ago, but he would do anything to go back to then. 

With a swift move that seemed like it surprised even you, you were in the saddle with Lee. You took a moment to settle, and Lee wrapped an arm around you to hold you close. Horses didn’t have seatbelts, but you had him, so that was pretty damn close. 

“Easy darlin’, you good?” Lloyd asked you, passing off the reins to Lee with a pat to Clyde’s neck. 

“Yeah, I got my cowboy.” you said, patting the arm of Lee’s that was now wound tight around your middle. “I’m good.” Something warm swelled in Lee’s chest. He definitely wasn’t one to talk, you could still fluster him. 

“Good. You kids enjoy yourselves.” 

“Thanks Lloyd.” Lee said. He turned the horse toward the open field, and you settled back more into his chest. 

“If you aren’t back by tomorrow afternoon we’ll come looking.” Lloyd called as you both rode away. You turned, looking back over Lee’s shoulder. 

“See you tomorrow.” You replied, waving. Lee couldn’t help but smile. When you turned back ahead, he leant down and kissed your cheek. Your reply was lifting his hand off your stomach and pressing your lips to the back of his hand. 

Early June in Montana meant the snow was all gone. Greenery had pushed through the final edges of cold with determination. Between you, him, and the horse, there was peace. 

It took until the sun reached its peak afternoon light when Lee finally rode into a proper clearing. It was somewhere they usually took the cattle over summer, but right now there was no sign of anyone. 

Birdsong broke through the silence now and then, and the wind blew the noise of the creek your way on occasion, but mostly there were no sounds besides Clyde’s breathing and the sound of his feet moving through the long grass below. Skies were clear, save a few wispy clouds on the horizon, and the view towards the mountains held no haze. The breeze kept the sunshine cool, and your warmth had seeped through the layers of your clothes to settle heavy on Lee’s skin. Perfect, everything was perfect. 

“We haven’t ridden together like this since our honeymoon.” your voice broke though the quiet. A welcome sound, all things considered. 

“I know.” Lee replied. Sighing deeply, he thought of how close this place was, and how often you both had time together. “Rides like this. We should’ve done it more often.” 

You fingers grabbed for his own, intertwining them where they now sat innocently just below your belt. Your thumb stroked over the skin on the back of his hand, a comforting motion as if he were the one that needed consolation. 

“We’re doing it now.” you said. 

He was the one who needed comforting. Perhaps he needed this ride with you more than you needed it. He recognised it then. Sooner or later he’d have to accept this was reality. Everyone else had, he just couldn’t do it. It’s what would be best, to accept that his life would go on after yours ended, he could see it, but he didn’t want to. 

He still didn’t want to let you go yet. 

“Can we rest here?” you asked. 

Clyde had his reins loose since Lee got to the clearing, content to let the horse wander and just sit along for the ride with you close. The smart beast had made his way east, towards where the tree line started. Lee could tell what you were thinking, you’d both done it before. He was more than happy to humour you. 

“Sure thing, where you wanna go?” 

“Over there.” you pointed to a tree. It looked alone, sticking out from the tree line, but further ahead a little. He could see your vision - a place where you could overlook the clearing properly. 

Much like the night before, Lee found himself in a much similar position. 

Clyde was put in a makeshift pen behind the tree, and Lee made a small fire. You sat against his chest between his outstretched legs, clutching a small tin mug of tea, with a blanket drawn up to under your arms. Together you watched as the blue sky slowly turned orange.

“I’d like to stay out here.” your soft voice broke though the evening air. “I think this is where I want to go after.” Carelessly, Lee didn’t put enough thought behind your words. He was still stuck in a moment where he was enjoying a night out with his wife. So he simply repeated your last word. 

“After?” he asked. 

“After I die.” Lee felt his throat tighten. 

It was a discussion he’d avoided for a long time. He knew you had written up a will - there was an afternoon where his father gave up his study so you could have a lengthy discussion with a lawyer - he’d remembered because he spent that same afternoon brooding on the front porch. But besides that? Nothing. 

He didn’t want to talk about it because then it would feel real. It would be real. It would be him admitting that you’d go somewhere completely without him, and he didn’t want to do that. It was the latest thing he’d been fighting tooth and nail against. 

Right now though, it seemed to be all you wanted to talk about. He decided he didn’t need to say anything. If you want to talk, go ahead. He didn’t need to find the words, because he didn’t need to speak. You did. He just had to listen. 

“I know the Dutton’s all get buried near that patch of woods, but I’d like to go out here. I don’t want to be stuck in one place.” That made sense. He could remember that, or try to. “I can’t ride on my own anymore. Let me go here so I can ride all over the wind one last time.” 

The thought of it, and the way your voice cracked with emotion, made Lee close his eyes. His head dipped down so his nose pressed against your shoulder. Your hands reached under the blanket, grabbing at his hand. Once you had it, you squeezed, and he held onto it tight in reply. Your fingers were warm, credited to the tea you’d discarded somewhere no doubt, but he’d remember it as being all you. 

Eventually he lifted his head, and leant over to press his cheek to yours. 

“Of course baby. Anything you want.” he whispered. His voice sounded rough even to him, and if he spoke any louder it would’ve broken. You lent back into him, pressing your nose hard into his bearded jaw. 

“I just wish we had more time. I’m sorry.” you apologised. 

Immediately, the hand that wasn’t holding yours came up to your own jaw, and tilted your head up so he could kiss you. 

His hand slid to hold the back of your neck, deepening the kiss as he felt one of your hands reach up to grasp the hair around his jacket collar. It was hard, and full of emotions that had been left unsaid. When you pulled away, he let you - but not without chasing a few shorter kisses along the way. 

“Don’t apologise. None of this is your fault.” he said, thumbing your cheek gently. The skin there was warm, and wet, but it was the feel of you alive under his palms, and he’d remember it forever. 

“I love you Lee.” you said. He could tell you were ready to tuck yourself back into his chest again, but he needed to make sure to look into your eyes when he said it back. 

“I love you too.” he replied,  “So much.” 

Hopefully you understood what he really meant. That he didn’t want you to leave him alone in the world. Hopefully it would persuade the death that was lurking near you to stay away longer than it was supposed to. 

Yesterday was a beautiful day. Lee had stayed out the night before with you under the stars, and he was able to take Clyde all the way to the cabin to drop you off and take you inside. 

That afternoon and evening felt so normal. You ate more of dinner than you had in weeks. He should’ve known that it meant something bad was waiting for him when he woke up. 

Sun shone right into his eyes, thanks to him not closing the curtains properly the night before. It’s something that would’ve pissed you off to no end - the fact it wasn’t closed properly meant you hadn’t woken up and closed it yourself. He eased out of bed, closed it, then returned to your side. You hadn’t stirred yet. One look at the clock told Lee he’d have to get up, and you’d want to say goodbye. 

Still half-asleep, he braced an arm on the other side of your head, and leant over to press a good-morning kiss to your cheek. He pulled away slowly, shocked. 

You were cold. Too cold. 

Everything he feared finally caught up to him. It felt like the sky itself came crashing down. You were gone, death got to you while his guard was down, and now he had no choice but to do the one thing he didn’t want to do. 

He’d have to let you go. 

John had been waiting at the barn for Lee. It had been over an hour and nothing, not even a phone call. Even keeping a close eye on his cabin proved fruitless - nothing moved through the windows. 

Dread settled in his stomach. He felt like he knew what it meant. If he was right, today had been a long time coming, no one looked forward to it. 

He started the long trek back up to the house, using that time to ponder what he was going to do or say. He didn’t know what to do. He’d only know what to do once he got there. 

John knocked on the door, waiting for a reply, but getting none. He let himself in. 

He was met with the sight of his son sitting on the couch. 

He walked over, standing so he was in Lee’s eyeline. His eyes darted towards the bedroom, where the door was shut. John hadn’t been in Lee’s house often, but in all the time he had, that door was never shut. He looked back at Lee, who was still clad in his pyjamas. 

“Where is she?”

“Bedroom.” Lee’s reply was curt. Short and blunt, and it came out almost too fast, like he’d been rehearsing it. It was like he was going to say that no matter who came in and asked him anything. 

“She’s usually up by now.” John said carefully. 

“I know.” Lee said, finally looking up at him with the saddest eyes he’d ever seen. “She ain’t getting up anymore.” Lee’s last word came out broken, and John’s first thought was that he looked like he was going to cry. 

He quickly realized that he’d already been crying. John knew then the reason why he didn’t find the right words on his walk here. Lee didn’t need words - he was a Dutton, they didn’t do words as well as they did actions. 

John walked over, grabbed Lee by the arms, and pulled him into a hug. Just like that, John felt his eldest son fall to pieces in his hold. Lee cried hard, clutching the edges of his father’s jacket, and shook uncontrollably. John couldn’t do anything else except try and stop them both from falling over. 

“She was fine yesterday.” Lee sobbed, “It was perfect yesterday.” 

John held his head up, squeezing his arms around Lee’s shoulders as he blinked away the tears and tried not to cry too. He knew how good of a day it was for the both of you. He wished he had the chance to do the same with his wife, but he didn’t. 

“It means her last day was perfect.” John said. “You made her last day perfect.” 

Lee only cried harder. It became too much for John, he couldn’t hold Lee up anymore, and they both fell back onto the couch. Eventually, Lee settled, slightly, and pulled away. John kept his hand on the back of his neck, bracing him up and keeping a settling weight close. The look on Lee’s face reminded him of how he felt when Evelyn died. When Lee looked over at him, his eyes were glassy, watery and not all there. He looked utterly heartbroken, and his next words broke John’s heart a little bit too. 

“I want her back.” 

John couldn’t help it anymore. He pulled Lee back in, and let his tears fall too. 

It took months before Lee got the courage to journey back to the clearing. 

Between the funeral, the family, the well-wishes and flowers, and work on the ranch - Lee was overwhelmed. He was dead set on diving headfirst into work. Breaking in horses was all he wanted to focus on. But then Kayce visited. 

Something about his little brother softened him. Plus he overheard the loud conversation he had with their father, and hence John also persuaded Lee to take a week or two off. No one was allowed to let him near the barn - bosses orders. 

Lee decided he needed to get away. He even had an excuse to. You’d been cremated as soon as was able, and had thus far been sitting in a hand-carved lock box on the coffee table in Lee’s cabin. He was trying hard to not let go, but now was the time. 

Besides, he didn’t want to spend another night avoiding that bedroom. No one knew it, not John, or Kayce and Jamie, not Lloyd - but Lee never again slept in the bed he once shared with you. 

Early one morning, when the sun or ranch hands weren’t even up yet, he took his bags, and your box, and walked down to the barn. He tacked up his horse, Clyde, and yours, Bonnie. Lee lead both of them out and carefully, placed your box in the saddle bag attached to Bonnie, then mounted, and rode off to the only place he could imagine him being in peace. 

It took a lot less time to reach the clearing this time. With you he was so concerned about making you uncomfortable that he barely urged Clyde faster than a brisk walk. This time, your real last ride, was hard and fast. By the time he stopped, both horses beelined straight to the creek. 

He dismounted, letting them drink as they liked, and took your box from Bonnie’s saddlebag. He ran his hands over the carved border, the leaves and flowers, and the horse on the lid. Lee forced down the lump in his throat. He promised you, and he was going to live up to that promise even if it felt like it was going to kill him. 

He carefully held your box to his chest, and made his way over to the three you both sat at those couple months ago. He remembered how nice it was that day. How perfect it was. It was the same now. 

Today was another perfect day. 

Lee stopped at the tree, leaning his back against it, and took another look at your box. Now he wished he took the time to talk about all this with you. Even now he was worried you might not have liked the box you’d been kept in the last few months. He hoped you would’ve liked it. 

Slowly he brought it up to his lips, kissing the top, kissing you one last time, before unclasping it. 

That perfect morning, Lee scattered your ashes under the tree you asked him to. His chin wobbled, and he smiled bittersweetly. It was a perfect day, because it was windier than before. You asked to ride the wind one last time, and Yellowstone had let you. 

He stayed in that clearing all day, only leaving once the sun started sinking too low into the sky. Before he made it out of the clearing he felt the breeze tickle his cheek. Unlike the rest of the day, it wasn’t cold. It was a warm breeze, brushing against his cheek like the fingers that used to brush through his beard. It felt just like you. 

He turned back to the clearing, watching the long grass sway. He smiled, then whispered one last promise into the wind. 

“I’ll come back baby. I’ll visit you whenever I can.”

[mrsparrasblog]

All too well

The first chapter to this post

TW: Angst

Despite the popular disbelief of your friends, military school was never easy for you. Of course, you had the greatest test scores most of the time, but what use were they when no one believed you achieved them? Being the only girl in class sucked; most of your classmates believed you were basically a prostitute, giving the teacher head so you would pass, which couldn't be further from the truth. You were still a virgin. Okay, it’s normal at 18, or isn’t it? You didn’t know. The people who didn’t believe you were pleasing the teacher under the table thought the teacher favored you since you were a girl.

They thought the military was too hard for you to pass and the teachers knew soldiers needed eye candy on the field. All idiots. The only man in your class who wasn’t full of patriarchal disbelief was Jonathan William Price, but though he may have seen you as someone who didn’t fuck around for good grades, he hated you. You didn’t know why at first, but after some time, the hate went both ways. He fought against you harder than against the others. He teased you and made you feel like you weren’t good enough even though you were better than him most of the time. He still won against you a few times, which sat sour in your eyes.

This was your last year, and after that, you’d be in the real field where prejudice didn’t have a place. There, they would only see your strength - only one year left. You sat in the front row of the yellow classroom, waiting for the new term to start and to get your tasks and assignments for the following months. Jonathan walked past you with his dumb, shit-eating grin.

“Still didn’t quit, love?”

“Still an idiot, I see.”

“You love it, don’t you?”

“In your dreams,” you rolled your eyes at him and tried to ignore his annoying, insufferable personality. Sometimes ignoring him didn’t help, even complaining to your friends: “Boys will be boys.” God, how you hated that sentence. There was only one thing you hated more than that, and it was him.

---------------------------------------------------------

“You missed something, love,” he pointed at the mannequin with a bullet hole in the stomach instead of the heart.

“Shut up or I’ll use you as a mannequin next.”

“With your aim, I have nothing to worry about.”

“Go away, Price.”

“Let me show you how,” he walked behind you, his hips pressed against you as he corrected your stance. And indeed, after the correction, you hit the target perfectly.

“That has nothing to do with you.”

“I think a thank you is in order.” Stupid idiot with his cocky smile and replies, and his stupid beautiful eyes.

“I’d rather die than say thank you to you.”

“Ouch, kitten has claws.”

“If you call me kitten again, I’ll kill you.”

“As if you were able to, little missy.”

------------------------------------------------------------

“Guess we’re working together on this.”

“I won’t work with you, Jonathan Price.”

----------------------------------------------

Stuck in a safe house for a week, you got close to each other. He wasn’t that prick you believed him to be; he was actually nice and kind of funny.

“Can you call me John?”

“Why?”

“I hate being called Jonathan, even worse, William.”

“Everyone calls you that.”

“And I hate it,” he admitted.

“Can I ask why?”

“My dad chose this name. Mum always called me John, but Dad insisted on calling me Jonathan. William is actually my dad’s name.”

“Not a good relationship with your dad?”

“Hate that bastard. Never cared about me or Mum, only about the military.”

“I get that.”

“Your old man is shit too?”

“Never wanted a girl, didn’t even talk to me when I was a kid.”

He poured a glass of whiskey for both of us. “We won’t turn out like them.”

“We won’t.”

---------------------------------------------------------

When you heard he needed to face disciplinary actions, you couldn’t believe it. John never did anything against the rules, well, not since high school.

“What did you do?”

“Stupid muppet deserved it.”

“Why?”

“Told everyone you slept with Sergeant Filch.”

“John, I’m a big girl. I can protect myself.”

“And what if I don’t want you to have to protect yourself?”

---------------------------------------------------------------

“What do you mean you’re still a virgin?”

“I said you’re not allowed to make fun of this, John.”

“I’m not laughing, just surprised. You know, you look beautiful. Just thought a lucky bloke already swept you off your feet.”

“No lucky bloke even tried.”

“Do you want to lose your virginity?”

“John.”

“I said, do you want to lose it?”

“Yes.”

--------------------------------------------------------------

“Do you believe in soulmates, John?”

“Mhm.”

“Do you think we are soulmates in every universe?”

“Can’t think of a version of me who doesn’t fall in love with you.”

“You love me?”

“Of course, love.”

“I love you too.”

------------------------------------------------------

“What do you want, Dad?”

“There is only one place in the SAS for this class. Don’t disappoint me, Jonathan.”

“I won’t disappoint you.”

--------------------------------------------------------

“John, can you imagine we will both be in the SAS after the test tomorrow? We are basically a power couple, like Bonnie and Clyde, just as good people.”

“You think we will still be together in the SAS?”

“Of course, I love you.”

“I don’t love you.”

“What?” You laughed awkwardly. He must be joking, one of his stupid jokes again.

“I said I don’t love you.”

“But you said yesterday that you love me.”

“Are you really that stupid?”

“John.”

“Your own dad couldn’t love you, what made you believe that I did?”

Your heart shattered into a million pieces. You tried hard to hold your tears together. “John, you’re being mean.”

“And you’re being stupid for thinking you were more to me than a quick fuck.”

--------------------------------------------------

SAS Enlisting Test

Jonathan William Price: 150 points, accepted  

Y/N L/N: 149 points, accepted

----------------------------------------------------

“Love, you got in,” John screamed out of reflex, hugging you tight.

“What is wrong with you, John? Why do you hate me so much? Why do you act like this now and yesterday?”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry you think that cuts it.”

“It’s not like you think it is. I love you, I just needed to get in. You don’t get it.”

“No, Jonathan, you don’t get to say that. You don’t get to tell me you love me. You’re not even capable of love.”

------------------------------------------------------------

Nineteen years, two divorces, six bullet wounds, and a promotion to captain later, he still thought about you when the whiskey cleared his mind of any denial. Leaving you was one of his biggest mistakes in life. He wondered what happened to you. He never saw you after you joined the SAS. Maybe you’re a lieutenant, or maybe you quit the military and became a housewife, even though he didn’t believe that. You were too happy in the military; no man who really loved you would take that away from you.

He had half a mind to call Laswell, tell her about you, and ask what you were up to. But deep down, he knew you were probably dead. War had its price, and it took the good ones way too often. So he was happy living like this, in his delusion that you’re alive and just the one who got away. If he was honest, even if you were still alive, he didn’t want to see you. He knew it would destroy him to see you again with his hate-filled eyes.

He got an incoming call from Kate. Did she really need to distract him from his swimming in self-pity?

“Kate, what do you need?”

“Are you ready for the games?” Huh, Kate always complained that this was childish and never showed big interest, even when they always winked. He didn’t mind the games; he knew how they motivated Soap and Gaz, or how much Ghost loved showing off his skills. He hated attention, but showing a bunch of task forces how much better they were was a thing not even Ghost couldn’t resist.

“Yes, why?”

“You know the new colleague I complained about?”

“The idiot who calls himself Hades?” What a dumb call sign.

“His team attends too, and if he wins, I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“What do I get if I sweep the floor with his team?”

“Davidoff Robusta, year 2016.”

“Deal.”

-----------------------------------------------------

You sat in the comfiness of your chair, finishing the last bits of paperwork from the last mission to finally end the day and go to the pub with your girls. When suddenly your phone rang, the name Hades popped up and you knew the comfortable day with your girls would be over. He would send you to a hostage rescue or gather intel. As long as it wasn’t a mission in the fucking Arctic again, it’s fine.

“Hello, Hades,” you said sweetly on the telephone. Despite the annoying missions he sends you on, Hades is your best friend. You could never trust anyone more than him. He saved your ass way too often to keep count on it.

“Sorry to bother you, do you know about the military games?” Of course, you knew, how couldn’t you? But you never bothered; that’s a childish thing. You better use your resources for the real thing and not a fight between self-proclaimed alpha males who will tell your team you are just girls.

“Yes, why?”

“I told you about Kate.”

“The one who called you incompetent in front of everyone, how could I forget that?”

“She always brags about how her team wins, please.”

“Hades, these games are stupid.”

“John Price takes part.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that earlier? Count us in.”

--------------------------------------------------------

Soap and Gaz bickered the whole day, while they put the tent up, while Ghost analyzed all the different teams, eagerly writing down every one of their strengths and weaknesses. While Price listened the whole day to Kate's complaints about Hades.

“None of them seem like a real threat, boss,” Ghost chimed proudly.

“Which of them is Hades' team?”

“He wanted to meet up here, act friendly, get to know their weaknesses, make them believe they’re superior.”

“What if they are really superior?” Gaz asked, earning a laugh from the whole team.

“We win every year, Garrick,” Soap replied.

“There he is.”

“Steamin’ Jesus, ye  dinnae tell us they’re fuckin’ hot, Laswell.”

“An all-girls squad?”

“I didn’t know,” Kate replied to Ghost.

John turned around wanting to know what the whole fuss was over, noticing the four girls walking over to them. In front of the group was their confident captain, and when he looked at the way-too-familiar face, he wanted to fucking drown himself in the Atlantic Ocean. “Fuckin’ hell.”

Taglist: @riddikulus-obsessions @cod-z @undercover-smutlover @werschitz

A/N : The first chapter is a lot of explaining the next one will be more fun hehe

[margothel]

Strange Strange Man - (Daryl Dixon x Reader) - Part 03

<- Previous - Next ->

The next day, you woke up and walked around the perimeter to check for any walkers nearby, aside from the one you already knew about—the one trapped under the tree trunk.

Deciding to test your luck and see if you had interpreted the message correctly, you began retracing the path from yesterday, heading further away from your camp. This time, you brought your belongings, leaving only your tent and bedroll behind. Soon, you started to recognize your surroundings. It was the same place where you had met the strange man, but there was no sign of him anywhere.

You chose to wait because, really, what other choice did you have? Going back to your tent and waiting for death to embrace you didn’t seem very appealing, and there were no squirrels or deer around to hunt. Time seemed to drag on endlessly, but he never showed up. You felt embarrassed, almost foolish for waiting. ‘Yeah, who would’ve thought that a random guy offering to teach me how to hunt wouldn’t show up? This is ridiculous.'

Then, out of the blue, two women appeared. One carried fishing gear, while the other had fish strung on a line. They didn’t notice you right away, but you knew you couldn’t miss this chance. You tried not to think about it, but you craved human contact—any kind of interaction. After so many nights spent alone, only hearing your own thoughts and that one walker’s distant groan, you could feel your sanity slowly slipping away.

“Hey! Excuse me!” you called, waving both of your hands over your head and slowly approaching them. They both looked at you with wide eyes and stopped in their tracks.

“Hi, I’m sorry if I scared you both, but I’m lost… I’ve been looking for food for days, and honestly, it seems my luck has run out…” You said, partially lying. You didn’t know exactly where you were, so you were indeed lost, but it felt easier to lie than start dumping your whole story on them. The seemingly younger one looked at her sister, then back at you.

“We have a camp nearby—” Her sister gave her a light kick on the shin.

“What, are we supposed to leave her out here to die alone?!” she said, looking at the other one, who just sighed in response.

“Come with us,” the older woman said, “I’m sure we can find a place for you there.”

You started walking, but as soon as you got closer, the older woman stopped you and gestured to your bag. “Give me any weapon you have—gun, knife, whatever you’re carrying. We can’t risk it.”

You looked at her and, deciding not to protest, handed her the gun and the knife. It felt like your best shot at surviving.

She looked at the gun almost in pity, as it barely had any bullets, and the kitchen knife wouldn’t do much damage to a person, much less to a walker. The three of you walked in silence, the younger girl fidgeting a bit, trying to break the tense atmosphere.

“So... my name’s Amy, and this is my sister Andrea. What’s your name?” she asked, trying to be polite.

“Mine’s Y/N.” you replied, extending your hand. She took it, and you could see the excitement in her eyes.

“It’ll be nice to have someone close to my age at the camp. There are kids and women, but they are not as young as you and me,” Amy rambled on, talking about life back at the camp. She mentioned how some guys were assholes, how boring it was to do the laundry, and how much fun it had been to take a break and go fishing with her sister.

Suddenly, she was cut off by Andrea.

“Listen, just don’t get your hopes up, okay? It’s not that I don’t want you to stay with us, but it’s not up to me or Amy to decide who stays.” Andrea said with a somber look on her face.

You nodded, knowing that things could go very south. But hearing Amy talk about life at the camp, you could already picture what it might be like to live among them.

Soon, the three of you arrived at their camp, and your heart started racing. It had been so long since you'd seen this many people—families, children. They all turned their heads as Andrea and Amy returned. A buff guy with dark brown hair jogged up to where you stood, his face serious. It was clear that he was not pleased with the presence of a stranger here.

“What the fuck is this?” He said, looking at you up and down “How many times do I have to tell you we already have too many mouths to feed and how could you both just bring a stranger into our camp?” The discussion seemed to get bigger and bigger as Andrea started screaming at the man - who you learned the name was Shane, one of the assholes Amy mentioned earlier - she told him that she was careful and said he was not their leader, that she wasn't born yesterday to be dumb enough to bring danger straight to them.

Suddenly a old man with a hawaiian shirt and a fishing hat came running towards us along with a woman with brown hair, Shane and Andrea were so caught up in their argument that they didn't even see them approaching, the old guy put his arm in front of Andrea and the woman touched Shane’s arm to grab his attention.

“Shane, look,” she said, her voice calm. “You know Andrea would never put the group in danger. She already took the girl’s weapons. Let’s just talk this through. She seems harmless, and it’s just one more person. We’ll be okay.” She spoke to Shane, trying to reason with him, while Andrea stood quietly, watching them both. The old man remained by her side.

“Whatever then, Lori. Since you trust Andrea’s decisions so much, you and she can be responsible for her. If anything happens to us, the camp, or to Carl,” Shane narrowed his eyes at Lori, “it will be on you.” He shrugged her hand off his arm and walked away.

Lori sighed, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. Andrea and the old man glanced at you and Amy, who had remained silent since Shane arrived. Amy was wide-eyed, still processing the scene that had just unfolded.

“Well, you’re right, he is an asshole indeed.” you said to her, trying to lighten the mood a little, and the old man laughed softly along with Amy.

“He usually isn’t this rude. I think it’s just the stress getting to him,” Lori said, seeming a little worried about the last part of what Shane had said—or perhaps worried about Shane himself. It was hard to tell.

“Welp,” the man said, extending his hand for you to shake. “I’m Dale. That wasn’t the warmest welcome you could’ve gotten, but at least you’re staying, right?” He tried to crack a joke, his tone lightening a bit.

The five of you started walking toward the camp, and slowly, you began meeting everyone there. With them it almost seemed like this was a vacation trip and you could take your mind out of the walkers for a bit, you sat around the fire near Amy and Carol, who were explaining the tasks that people did around the camp.

You sat around the fire with Amy and Carol, who were explaining the various tasks people did around the camp.

“And we leave the hunting to Daryl and Merle, who aren’t here right now…” Carol said, pointing toward a tent where some dead squirrels hung from a string. Suddenly, it clicked in your mind where you really were.

"And where are they?" You asked her, trying to mask your sudden curiosity.

"Atlanta."

[mischiefmaker615]

Loki request prompt:

2.3) “I've been busy marrying you, I haven't had time to piss anyone off!”

Tradition

Rating: PG13

Note: Not sure why my brain wasn't cooperating on this promp so i wish to give a shout out to the amazing lokilaufeysondiaries for the inspiration of this one shot!! give a follow! :D

‘’stand aside-‘’ Loki barked, stepping from side to side to get around your best friend while she did her very best to block his path.

‘’it’s tradition!’’ she insisted, spreading her arms out wide as Loki gave her a look of pity how she thought that would help.

‘’we’ve already been intimate in every way thought possible mortal bf/n, your ceremonial traditions of staying separated will not change what I have not seen already-‘’ he fussed and took a deep inhale, tensing his muscles before he moved forward, disappearing before his foot could touch the ground before he suddenly reappeared behind her with a hand on the door knob.

‘’hey!’’ she exclaimed but he had already entered, causing her to ram into his solid back when he had stopped dead in his tracks.

You stood there on the wide stool in front of the mirror, your elegant, white wedding dress hugged your body like a dream while you looked yourself over. Upon hearing the door open, you turned to see your soon-to-be husband gawking at the doorway with your friend jumping and moving about to try to find a way around him.

‘’I tried to stop him Y/N but he quite insisted-‘’

Loki, without so much as turning, reached behind him and shut the door in her face, not once blinking as his eyes traveled and took you in. ‘’darling.. you look.. you look-‘’

‘’pissed?”

‘’yes, wait- no! I mean.. well yes but I was going to say you look beautiful..’’ Loki recovered, giving a sheepish smile at your indeed scolding expression while he stepped closer to take your hands in his, tilting his chin up so he could- for once- gaze up at you from your mount.

‘’thank you Loki..’’ you blushed, squeezing his hands tight as you smiled down at him. ‘’but this is Midgard- as ridiculous as the traditions may seem, it’s how things are done.’’ You encouraged and placed your hands onto his shoulders gently. ‘’have a little patience..’’

‘’but darling, it has nearly been a week since we’ve both-‘’ he began to whine but you shook your head and kissed his forehead gently.

‘’traditions darling, did you not read them when I showed you how to use the computer? I left the link open and-‘’

‘’I did in fact indeed read them darling.’’ He smiled proudly and rested his hands against your hips, his thumbs rubbing the soft fabric as he chuckled. ‘’but I still indeed find some ridiculous. In fact, even you are breaking some of your own traditions.’’

‘’wha- which one?” you exclaimed.

‘’virgins wear white.’’ He smirked and stepped back to dodge a swat from you as you placed your hands upon your hips.

‘’we have about 20 minutes, you better get-‘’

‘’that’s more than enough time to-‘’

‘’Loki.’’

Loki sighed in mild frustration, slumping his shoulders before his eyes began gazing over your body in the elegant wedding dress again, his smile returning as if that alone lifted his spirits. ‘’Alright darling, I will see you s-‘’

‘’Loki!!” a loud yell came from down the halls, loud enough to be heard from where they were. By the familiar voice, you recognized it as Thor’s voice as immediately gave your betrothed the look of death.

‘’what did you do to piss him off this time?”

Loki threw his hands up in a surrender position and a hidden smirk. ‘’I’ve been busy marrying you, I haven’t had time to piss anyone off-‘’

‘’Loki.’’

Loki sighed and dropped his hands. ‘’I might have.. left Thor tied up in the car to prolong his appearance at our wedding..’’ he said with a guilty look. ‘’and by the sound of it, it would seem he had gotten loose.’’

‘’Loki, you need to die down on your mischief for at least today, he’s my soon to be brother in law after all, we all need to get along.’’ You say gently, a hand stroking his cheek in which he immediately leans into your touch with a soft sigh.

‘’I was merely tying the knot darling.’’

You merely blinked at his serious face, knowing how he had trouble fully understanding Midgardian terms and sayings but.. he couldn’t be serious right?

You couldn’t help but laugh and gently pushed against his chest so he could head towards to door. ‘’we’ll have to talk about that one later. And go easy on my Maid of Honor Loki, or I’ll extend the week.’’

Loki’s eyes widened as he nodded quickly and took hold of the door handle. With a pause, he looked over and smirked, earning a small nervous look from you as you played with the fabric at your sides.

‘’..what?”

‘’I was just thinking about one tradition I am quite looking forward to darling.’’ He grinned.

‘’the honeymoon?” you smile shyly and earned a smirk from him.

‘’that to darling, but that is quite a given. I’m talking about..’’

You squeezed your legs together as his eyes began to travel down while he opened to the door to leave.

‘’retrieving the garter..’’

Tag List: @foxherder  @asgards-princess-of-mischief @fire-in-her-veinz

[sombredancer]

The best cdrama of 2024

is The Spirealm. I love it, love it, LOVE IT! Beware of being heavily spoiled ahead! What I was fond of: 🔑It's a nice story about finding love a true friend and a reason to live even if you are very lonely and abandoned by everyone, and it's full of tenderness and jokes. (Sometimes these jokes were so BL that I thought this drama should have been shot in Taiwan).

LQS: *whispers* I'm a dedicated materialist, I'm a dedicated materialist... RLZ: Yeah, yeah, I got it... RLZ: 👀... RLZ: If you are a materialist, why don't you say it to her? LQS: ... LQS: I'm not a that dedicated materialist! RLZ: ... RLZ: RUN! The main heroes are going the whole way from this:

RLZ: If you are not capable of passing even your first trial, you are worthless. to this:

Calmly accompanying each other on their way to the doom. 🔑 I love its lore and the detective part. As far as I watch cdramas, I try to avoid Chinese detectives because they are very fairytail-ish and don't allow you to participate mentally in the investigation. But it's not that case! (Who knew we would find real detective cases in a horror drama!). You can participate in investigation and even find out the truth before the main heroes will, and it's... pleasant. Btw, the mystical detective cases are so different in their levels of horror and mystics that you def will find something to please you even if you are a horror movies hater like me.

🔑 The horror stories were re-made for the adaptation in a very interesting way. Every monster is related to the inner pain of the main hero: they are betrayed, traumatized, abandoned by people they loved, just like him. So he feels pity and sorry for them and redeems them instead of killing. And, moreover, it makes impact throughout the whole story, on the main hero's 11th door as well on his relationship with his lover.

🔑Speaking of traumatized monsters. The first time I ugly cried over this drama was a story of the 4th monster. The monster! Made me cry!

But of course it wasn't the last time I cried my eyes out. The secondary characters of this drama are lovable, too. And the lore mechanics makes the awaiting of death so unbearable painful... You physically can feel the huge weight of characters' despair when they know that they or their dearest will die in a few minutes and there is ABSOLUTELY nothing they can do about it. This level of pain is something else, indeed.

But the most painful scene, where I cried the hardest, was not a scene of someone's death, but a scene of interaction between the main hero and his mother. She told him not to show up again, because she has a new family now, and was about to throw his school dreams and memories into the dump. What kind of mother she is!!😡

🔑And the most important thing about this drama: all detective cases allow you to restore the main story, piece by piece. And this story is about bone-piercing loneliness. The main hero was bullied in school, abandoned by his family and betrayed (kind of) by his best friend. His life was meaningless before he met his partner, the only person who returned to him the reason to live. But he happened to be a monster made specifically for the main hero to accompany him to the 12th door, a virus that needed to get to the 12th level with the help of the main hero to destroy the game. But the main hero's kindness to other un-humans, his ability to understand their pain despite of who they are, melted even monster's heart and made him genuinely love the main hero. It's truly sad that the main hero refused the real world and spent all his years left to make the world of his dreams and to get his lover back, but it's a story about loneliness, so I can't blame him. In his place, I would do the same.

The first meet

and the last. And the last but not least: I adore the technical part of this drama! I love RLZ's costumes! They are classical yet not really standard, make him conspicuous and give a feeling to a viewer that he is someone special. That he is somehow ethereal.

But he is not the only one whose clothes are saying. The White Deer people have their own style as well, so you can understand almost immediately that the characters in strange and pretentious clothes are related. And the main villain's costumes tell a lot about his personality.

And the set designs! They were marvelous! They gave me a feeling of vastness, as if the characters really were in other, spacious worlds.

And the soundtrack! I love it! It's such a shame that iQIYI didn't publish BGM and OST officially. But I found some of the tracks on YouTube. My favorites are the soundtrack to the 4th case: 森川-佐子 here and the variations of the door theme: 门 (变奏) here and 门 (门中门) here. Love it and highly recommend! 💙

[lsunstreakerl]

reread FMF and so many new thoughts because I'm seeing so many northerner specific traits/mannerisms (or maybe I'm just reading into things too much shfhjshd) on the second read!!

first off of course the type of clothing they wear, where the ones max has always prioritises survival in colder places and fatal wounds (the hide and leather) but also probably to blend in to the background in the colder north areas compared to the clothing hes given the moment he's in Rico's territory which takes into account comfort and aesthetics

also the different fighting styles is sooooo interesting to me, the way that it is apparent the moment max is in the walls of the castle(?) and he immediately spots that it is indeed possible to climb the towels because him and the soldiers in the north lean to more of a sneaky and quick style compared to pure power, hence he's more sensitive to spotting weak areas that Rico's Territory (is he the south? east? west? idk) would more easily overlook because they don't focus on that as much, hence haven't explored those training techniques and the possibilities

AND OFC WHO CAN FORGET but max giving rico his hide I feel is soooo important especially since it is such a rare commodity to be in possession of that, and assuming max didn't have anymore (since he didn't have any while fighting saddik I think) giving his last piece to valuable hide to rico is mind blowing really, kind of showing his commitment (though not wanting to be in a middle of a chaotic situation like a kingless nation is also a great reason to want to protect the king ofc ofc) I also loved that we get to see rico's pov where it's actually used to save rico's life and everyone is stunned because they initially thought it was a tradition of sending husbands/loved ones off to war but it was quite the opposite - kind of interesting also that instead of giving rico any kind of pep talk or good luck talk instead max gives him something that would help protect him

and ofc all of max's contributions are highlighted because he is an 'outsider' who was brought up in a totally different environment (which the part where he's battle trained - even one of the best- is also super intriguing like is this a one off thing and most nobles aren't good in battle? or are they usually just not to the extent that max was and max was that good because of the need for survival in the north so basically everyone had to be trained there) and the kingdom people are wowed. which I would be too if queen-consort-wifey saves the king, saves villages lives AND eliminates the enemy like he's out here busting his ass off protecting the kingdom!!

but the thing that intrigued me THE MOST and really made me have a little yap session (oops) was the part where max, severely wounded maybe dying to blood loss type thing, just fatally stabbed saddik (who's at that moment probably gonna die maybe) and mick enters and basically his first thought is to make sure saddik is gonna die and takes out the knife in his chest. the total difference between that and Joris' reaction, which was to immediately attend to max (I don't think the titles make a difference because technically to Mick, max is bff AND PRINCE SO) which in that moment, is mick sure that max will survive hence he makes sure saddik dies? or is this more of a cultural thing(?) where it is more important to them that the enemy is killed because maybe it's hard to save lives that are lost/wants to make sure the lives lost aren't in vain and hence the utmost priority is to finish off the enemy?

anyways all that to say I really LOVEEEE all the little details and world building you do in the fics thank you so much for them 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

the father the son and the holy yap please buckle in!! I have lots to say to this :)

correct that the northern style of clothing is gearing far more towards practicality. survival is hard enough up in the mountains, and they're not going to waste time dying their clothes. as far as comfort- if you're warm, you aren't freezing, and that's as much as they think about that. the kingdom proper, where the castle is at, is more central in the territory, and the climate is much more mild than it is further north. their clothes are lighter, they can afford to think about things like draping and style.

yes!! max immediately spots those vulnerabilities because he's coming at it from a different perspective. for the knights and soldiers within the army, they're all trained in a uniform way- it's about quantity over quality. up north, they just don't have the manpower for that kind of thing. every soldier is trained and honed individually to be the best possible fighter they can be, and part of max's responsibility as heir was to run those training camps. it makes sense that he has the best skills, when he's been training and practicing with/against all of his people, all the time. survivability = status for them. max is well rounded, strong, and smart, which means he has a lot of respect from his own people. he's earned his position as heir through years of hard work and boots on the ground devotion to his people.

in terms of things like the tower- for the average soldier, why would they scale the side when they could take a group and storm the front door? but when max looks at through the lens of him and one of his teams- which average out to two or three people- than the advantage of being able to sneak up is much clearer. sure, he could storm the front with one or two others, and they could win, but it's an unnecessary waste of energy.

the hide!! yes, it's an incredibly rare commodity, but what I don't mention is that max's leathers do have lining on the inside of certain spots! he and mick did the hunting themselves- and I will say, the creatures that the hide comes from are not easy kills, even for them. they might even try and take a bite out of your ankle...

I talked about it a bit in the other post, but max not wishing rico safety or good luck, but rather success on his mission- that's another cultural difference. for max, it would be offensive to be wished good luck, because it implies that he would need it, that his skills aren't enough by themselves. it's actually pretty rude lol. and telling someone to come back safe is also stupid, because he's going off to battle! he's going to get hurt! it would be weird if he didn't! and max certainly isn't going to say something pointless.

demanding success from rico's journey is max being supportive. if they were up north, everyone would be saying that to rico, so that if/when he was facing saddik, he would hear all of their voices telling him what he needs to do, and have the strength of that community inside of him.

...which leads me to your point about max and mick! more worldbuilding for northern customs ahead lol.

they do a fair amount of killing up there. since their population is smaller, in general everyone is well versed with taking lives. that can weigh heavily, so they've developed a culture where it isn't the person doing the killing- it's the blade. in the case of max and saddik, mick is doing max the greatest honor he can by ensuring its max's blade that takes down saddik. not anyone else's. you're correct that he can't tell right away if max is going to live or not- what he asses when he comes into the room is that there is max, potentially dead or dying, and there is max's blade sticking out of an enemy, and he's going to make sure max finishes the job. (technically his blade, which makes it his kill, even if mick is the one with the final blow.)

this in comparison to joris, who asses that max is hurt and immediately jumps to protect him. it really strongly highlights that difference there- "get it done no matter what or who is the cost" compared to "protect the prince consort first, deal with the threat after".

so yes, mick in that moment was seeing max's mission through, even if max was dying. he's not going to waste his time trying to save a dead man and potentially letting the enemy live. (he would've gone to max right after making sure saddik was dead, if joris hadn't been there. and he watches over him while he's asleep frequently, unbeknownst to poor martijn.)