#the pigs were cute. i pet a cow too

[britneyshakespeare]

i saw a guy at the marshfield fair wearing a shirt that says "my pronouns are/[picture of eagle]/U.S.A." ... no they aren't

[lionlena]

Llamas don't drink whiskey... (JackDanielsxf!reader) one shot

Summary: Jack allows you to have many animals on his ranch, but will he allow llamas?

Warnings: fluff, a lot of fluff, a tiny bit of smut

Llamas don't drink whiskey

A few weeks after you became Jack's fiancée, he asked you to move to his ranch. You agreed immediately because you saw only the advantages. First of all, you could be closer to your beloved Cowboy. Always wait for him when he returns from his mission. Secondly, it was a good opportunity to get to know each other even better before the wedding and introduce your own changes. Although you didn't want to change his home too much, because the truth was that you loved Jack's ranch. It was wonderful, just like in the picture.

And there was a third reason: ANIMALS.

You loved animals, but you could never keep them because first your stepsister was allergic, so your parents didn't let you have pets. When you were a student, you didn't have this option either, and then, the owners of the apartments you rented didn't agree to keep animals. So it had to be enough for you to help at the animal shelter and take care of your friend's pets.

But that finally changed. Because there were animals on Jack's ranch (your ranch) and you could have kept more.

Jack was happy to make your dreams come true. Your happiness was his happiness. So you already had your own horse, dog, cat, Vietnamese pig... Jack agreed to everything.

"You want chickens, Sugar. You'll have chickens."

"You want to have rabbits, Sugar. You're going to have rabbits."

However, your last request was not met with such enthusiasm. You were lying on the couch together. You on Jack with a satisfied face after riding him. You were both catching your breath after you both reached your climax. His cock was still twitching inside you as you blurted out:

"Can we have a llama?"

Jack opened his eyes and looked at you as if you had asked for a giraffe.

"What are you gonna do with a llama, huh? You just want to get one for the aesthetic?"

You looked at him offended and pouted:

"No... Cuddling a llama cures anxiety and calms you down. They are great therapy animals."

Jack chuckled at that. He had never even considered a llama as a suitable therapy animal. But then, his mind switched gears, and he raised his eyebrow.

"But can you even ride a llama?"

You started laughing as you imagined it. Your Cowboy on a llama.

"I don't think you can ride on llamas... They might be pack animals, I guess."

"So why do you need a llama?" He replied jokingly.

You shook your head, knowing full well that he was teasing you.

"You can't ride dogs, or chickens, or even cows, but we keep them."

Jack smiled and stroked your hair.

"The dog guards the ranch, the chickens give eggs, the cows give milk, and the llamas..."

"And llamas bring comfort."

Jack laughed and looked into your beautiful eyes. He knew he wouldn't be able to resist your request for long. He loved you too much.

"So you want a llama for therapeutic purposes, right? That means you have to cuddle a giant llama every time you feel anxious or stressed. Could you do that? Would a llama even be a good cuddle partner? I mean, it has a neck, long neck, and such a goofy little face."

"A llama is a great cuddle buddy… Llamas are so cute and…" You stroked his cheek. "I think you're kind of like a llama."

"I am?" He asked, raising his eyebrows playfully. It was obvious that he wasn't annoyed by this strange comparison, after all, he was so in love with you that nothing could make him mad at you. "So... you're going to cuddle with me to relieve your stress, is that what you're saying?"

"Yes." You said and hugged him tightly. "You're perfect for cuddling."

That's what he wanted to hear. He protected and cared for you, and he didn't mind at all that you treated him like a comfortable pillow. On the contrary, it gave him incredible happiness. He wrapped his arms around you and held you close to him as if you were a precious treasure.

"You can come and cuddle with me whenever you want, Sweetheart."

You sighed in contentment and kissed his neck.

"So... Can I have llamas?"

He laughed when you asked again. It seemed like your obsession with llamas was even bigger than his obsession with you. But he was ready to fulfill this request as well.

"Of course, you can have a llama, princess. I won't even argue with your request. I'll buy you the biggest and best llama. A male llama too, in case you'd be happy knowing you'll have a little llama guy to cuddle with when you're stressed."

You giggled happily and looked into his eyes lovingly.

"You're the best."

And those were the words that immediately made him smile broadly, his heart swelling with love for you and pride in himself. He loved it when his Sugar was happy because it meant his happiness. He wanted nothing more than to live with you on your ranch. And he didn't mind that this ranch was slowly turning into a mini zoo.

He imagined that maybe one day there would be a little cowboy running among all these animals... Or a little princess.

He kissed your head and purred softly:

"You'll get your llama."

*

A month later, four llamas appeared on your ranch because: "Jack, a llama can't live alone, they need a herd."

So you had three females and of course one male. Each llama was different. One was all white, the second was white and brown, and the third was black. The male, named Cobalt, was light-colored with brown dots and... You couldn't help but think he was making exactly the same faces as Jack. You even bought him a little cowboy hat and secretly called him Jack.

Of course, Whiskey still pretended that llamas were unnecessary and that they were of no use.

However, one day you caught him hugging one of them. You entered the stable quietly and leaned against the doorframe, watching your beloved pet the llama's neck. The day before, he had returned from a hard mission and had apparently discovered the therapeutic properties of llamas.

You cleared your throat and he immediately moved away from the llama and scratched his head.

"What... I just came to feed them... She stuck to me herself."

"Of course, Jack." You replied and giggled. "So, llamas aren't that useless."

He sighed and rolled his eyes. He started stroking the llama's neck again.

"They're not that bad, but they have one major flaw." You raised your eyebrows, intrigued. "They don't drink whiskey."

You started laughing loudly. Of course, it was all Jack. He had to find some flaw, no matter how absurd. He couldn't just admit that he liked llamas.

"Oh yeah... Llamas don't drink whiskey." You repeated and walked over to him.

You wrapped your arms around his waist and snuggled into his broad chest. After all, he was always your first choice when it came to cuddling.

Jack immediately hugged you back and kissed your head.

"But you know who drinks whiskey?" You started talking. "Me. So I can be your companion."

He chuckled softly and pulled you closer to him.

"You are the best companion." He whispered into your ear. "For everything, not just drinking whiskey."

You felt yourself getting pleasantly warm. You grabbed his hand.

"Let's get out of here. Llamas shouldn't have to witness what happens after drinking whiskey."

Jack laughed loudly and wrapped his arms around your waist.

"Of course, Sugar! Leave the llamas... You can't ride them. But You can ride your cowboy!"

Pernament tag list: @harriedandharassed

[creedslove]

Who of the boys would be more of a cat and who would be more of a dog person?

Rewatching Narcos currently andJavi P seeking justice for Murphys cat was the animal love I needed.

I know he says he’s not much of a cat person but the way he treated it.. cat man 🧐🫶

Featuring: Javier Peña, Joel Miller, Agent Whiskey, Dave York and Marcus Pike

A/N: aww this is a very good idea!!! I love it honey! Also, I have a feeling all the Pedro boys lean towards dogs, but that doesn't mean they won't go soft with a kitty 🐈

Javier Peña: Javi likes dogs better, there's no argument towards that, he grew up around dogs on his dad's ranch and he loves how strong and loyal they are, however, that doesn't mean Javi is insensitive towards cats, we all have seen how fierce he was to fight for the fact that cat was DEA as much as Steve and himself were, even if there was a tiny comical hint to it; Javier isn't a huge cat person, but he does have a soft spot for them, they are cute sometimes and amongst all the violence he has encountered through his life, he thought he would lose that empathy towards smaller things, but he was very wrong, so once he saw a stray kitty fumbling around the garbage to look for food and it made his heart break, he didn't know why exactly, but he was so tired of seeing the evilest side of people, it felt just too unfair such a tiny cute little creature starve on the streets, which caused Javier to feed the cat leftovers of his meals which quickly became a habit and now the cat is fat and he doesn't know what to do

Joel Miller: Joel Miller is 100% dog person and there's no argument about that at all, although after he grew up and had to take care of a house and a baby daughter on his own, he decided to have a no pet rule: money was tight and so was time, taking care of a baby, and then a toddler and then a child and then a teen was exhausting as it was, so he didn't have time for bullshitting with cats or dogs. In fact, getting a puppy was the only request Sarah has ever made him and he managed to remain strict and not let her have it. However, he knows his daughter pets all the neighbor's pets and he's okay with it. Now, if you have a cat, you can expect Joel getting into a grumpy old man mood™ he is just going to complain about the cat and he is going to swear that cat is up to no good, plotting against him because its so jealous of you. He will definitely have arguments with your cat

"get out of my guitar now!"

"meow"

"I swear... get off my truck or I'll kill you!"

"meow"

And well, sometimes it kind does seem your cat is teasing Joel by sitting on his truck hood or sitting on his beloved guitar; if Joel is reading some work papers on the kitchen table you can bet your life your cat will climb all the way just to sit ON the papers and make Joel's blood boil, and you'll de damned if that ain't the funniest shit you'd ever seen; but hey, sometimes after you went to bed, your cat nuzzles Joel's body and your tough boyfriend actually pets your cat, but it's their secret and neither of them will ever admit it 🤫

Agent Whiskey: our sweet Jack loves animals! He is a farm boy after all, and that means he absolutely adores every single living thing. Of course he likes dogs and cats like everyone else, but those aren't his favorites, if anything, Jack is the kind of man to have farm animals as pets as if it was the most normal thing in the world. As a grown man, Jack has his own ranch, and he keeps all the animals he likes there: he's got cows, horses (his big passion), pigs, chickens, goats, bunnies, dogs and a few cats in the barn because someone needs to catch those damn mice, since he hates killing any kind of animal, he leaves it for the cats to chase down the mice and if he finds spiders in the house he'll definitely just throw them outside. He loves birds and fish but he'd rather watch them out in nature than have them trapped in birdcages of fishbowls; he's not a big fan of frogs but he doesn't mind them at all and his biggest childhood trauma was when little Jack befriended a very cute little pig and the two of them became quickly inseparable, playing together and hanging out all the time, he even named his pig Hector™ until one Sunday morning he woke up to see his friend gone and later, mama Daniels had made pork chops for lunch ☠️ Jack cried his little heart out, refused to eat lunch and spent years without eating pork, until this day he feels kind of guilty to eat bacon or something, he doesn't kill any of his own ranch animals to cook, he just goes to the supermarket to get the meat

Dave York: Dave had always loved dogs from a young age, when he was little, his dog Sprinkles was his best friend and he still keeps old pictures of himself and his old friend in the back of his memory boxes. Once he grew up and he got into his... business... he realized dogs are the safest option for a pet; they are very rational, they can be trained and protect the house and the owners against threats or burglars. If his kids beg him for a puppy, he will never say no to them, but it will be frustrating to him that they will pick the cutest and fluffiest puppy over the one breed he thinks it's safer for the family, statistical saying. However, how happy they get will make him think of Sprinkles and soon enough he will become those dads who treat the family pet better than his own kids. He will definitely doze off on the couch and the dog will be curled up to him. Dave also admires the felines and mostly how neat and careful they are. They are silent and are able to sneak into a room without anyone noticing, exactly like Dave does when he's out working, he likes how cats are independent and always take care of themselves, however, the idea of having a cat never occurred to him, but well... never say never

Marcus Pike: that man is the human version of a golden retriever, so he obviously would prefer dogs. He has thought of getting a dog some time but he hasn't made up his mind yet, on one hand, he would like to have a puppy waiting for him at home so he won't be too lonely, but on the other hand, dogs are a lot of trouble and he doesn't know if he will be able to actually take care of it, not to mention dogs remind him a lot of the perfect image of a happy family, you know, a husband and a wife and kids, something Marcus would love to have but he hasn't been too lucky with it lately! He does like cats too, but the thing is: he is allergic to cats, and I don't mean just a slight allergy, I mean sneezing, coughing, red puffy eyes, stuffed nose etc, so cats are definitely a big no to him!

[lostfirefly]

Bugust. Day 31. "Animal". Buggy x Catherine. We've reached the end of this month) Thanks for reading and commenting) All stories have been added to the masterlist)

"Which one should I choose? With a cow or a raccoon? Or a pig?"

"I don't know, cotton candy, take any."

"Which one do you like me in better?" Catherine stood in front of Buggy wearing a raccoon sweatshirt.

"Naked. I always like seeing you naked." Buggy giggled.

"Could you please stop?!" Catherine hissed. "We're in a store!"

"How did you even drag me here?" Buggy sat on the ottoman, nervously tapping his feet on the floor. "We were on your stupid walk."

"Stop nagging. Look how cute this sweatshirt is. A raccoon with a hat and glasses. And he's typing something on a small typewriter. So funny! Oh! Look!! Unicorn pajamas!!" Catherine ran to the hanger and grabbed a fluffy pyjama, set in a vibrant shade of pink. "I should try it on too. That way, I'll have both a shark and a unicorn. Wait a second, I'll be back." She disappeared into the fitting room.

"Fuck!!" Buggy grabbed his head and rested his elbows on his legs. "What am I doing here??"

"Sir, would you like a drink?" The saleswoman asked.

"Yes! Fuck yes! I do! I want! I really want!!" Buggy raised his head. "A lot! Bring everything you have!"

"My blue-haired love, here I come!" Catherine opened the fitting room curtain, dressed in a pyjama, and shook her butt. "What do you think? Do you like it?" She twirled around several times.

"It's fine." Buggy grabbed the glass from the tray as soon as the salesman approached him and drank it in one gulp.

"Just fine?"

"I don't know. I don't care, Catherine!" He grabbed his face and ran his fingers over it in irritation. "Geez! Let's just go on your stupid walk! I wanna leave!"

"You know, Buggy," Catherine waved a plush hoof, "Go wherever you want. For once in my life I wanted to spend time with you somewhere other than home, your circus, and that endless string of bars. Bye." She closed the curtain and sat down on a chair.

"Wow! You're great again, Buggy. Bravo! Why did you say that, idiot? But I don't want to be here. On the other hand, she does so much for me. Why can't I endure it for two hours? I have to endure it for her. But I wanna go home. No! Endure for her, clown." Buggy exhaled. "Cathie-pie."

Catherine didn't answer.

"Cathie-pi-i-ie." Buggy walked up to the booth and tapped his fingers on the wall.

"What?" She barked.

"Racoon."

"What?"

Buggy carefully opened the curtain. "I liked the one with the fucking racoon. He looks cute and smart like you. The unicorn one isn't bad either. But.. I like Cathie Shark more, to be honest."

"Really?" Catherine ran a plush hoof over his cheek.

"Oh, no." Buggy laughed. "This is too much for me."

"What?" Catherine laughed with him and pulled down her hood.

"I don't know. A unicorn is petting me. This is too much."

Catherine wrapped her plush hoods around his waist. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Cathie-pie. I didn't hear a-ny-thing." Buggy placed his hand on her back.

"It's hard in relationships, huh?" Catherine asked quietly.

"It's definitely hard for me." Buggy buried his head in her hair.

"And it's not easy for me either. But I'm so-o-o proud of us. You'd up and left six months ago. And I could say a lot of unnecessary things. See? We're growing and changing." Catherine hugged him tighter. "I wonder. Would you leave me in the desert now? After 7 months of being together."

"I didn't leave you then either, do you think I would do the same now?" Buggy kissed the top of her head.

"You didn't leave me there. And you also saved me from the gods. My blue-haired hero." Catherine exhaled. "Don't forget it, please."

"I'll try." Buggy exhaled. "If you really want this unicorn pyjama. Well," He shrugged, "Let's buy it."

"Nah!" Catherine wrapped her plush hooves around his neck. "It's cute. But in fact, it hits me hard in the ass." She scratched her butt.

"Okay." Buggy chuckled. "Are you still mad at me?"

"No! Cathie Shark isn't mad, she's so happy! Cathie Shark loves her clown very much. With his pros and cons. And she's glad that we're learning to talk, even if it happens against the backdrop of that boy with the big nose and the olive-checkered bandana who stands at the checkout." She pecked Buggy on his nose. "Let me buy a raccoon sweatshirt, and we'll continue our walk. Okay? Will you buy me ice cream? Oh, I know! Steal me flowers!" She watched as he nodded. "And Buggy…"

"I'm listening, my Cathie-pie."

"Stop grabbing my plush ass!"

[betwixypixie]

I had a hard day. It was objectively a fun day. I only got 1 crisis call, and I decided to go to the county fair after. It was rly fun…I wanted to go to a fair this year. But the animals hurt me, seeing them hurt my heart.

For the first time I rode that one ride where you stand and they strap you in & spin you. It was super fun. I saw the kids I had a dream about last night…and I came up to them and told them, I just had to, idk…Pretty sure it creeped them out, but kinda entertains me, im weirdly not embarrassed about it.

I also asked to join a lil lesbian couple on the tilt ride thingy where u spin in the air & turn the middle table to spin within a spin…they said no words, but later I noticed them kinda following me around, so I don’t think it bugged them too much. I’m picturing what it’s like to be a teen in these weird situations where an insane 20-something is just talking to you & then disappearing. Idk

I won a couple games like the balloon pop and this weird one with a frog launcher 🐸

I have a migraine from using my phone lol. I saw an auction for the first time..with the hey bibebbeib hey going oncetwice tobtbtjtn sold !

I spent a lot of time w the animals. I loooved the goats two in particular were really friendly & another was very sweet & quiet and loved pets. I braced myself & visited the pigs and they were awesome as well. There was one who was a breeding pig next to a market pig who you could tell she knew…I learned they were raised in the same farm I think, she was around some litter mates. She was talking a LOT yelling & grunting, at first i thoguht she was distressed but i think she judt wnatsd attetoon. later a lady came & wa slile "dhe wanrs to suck pn my

fingers “ and sure enough she did. it was so weird& cute

I thinks he was trying to cheer up the other pig. She kept nidging them. I wonder if the other pig knew. A lot of the market pigs were just laying down. I pet the neighbor pig and chilled w them for a sec and they perked up a lil. Later I saw other ppl petting them. I sa w a few cows and their eyes are so seeet. I thought abt not eating red meat anymore bc I can’t befriend chickens. Then ironically I found the bunny and chicken tent last. I loved meeting some chickens. Big white market ones were so seeet. Kept blinking at me. Ok wrists giving out see ya

[monasatlantis]

Stardew Valley quick Review

You guys know I hardly ever review a game that is not some sort of (J)RPG but this game managed to keep me entertained for 52 hours and was yet cozy enough to find the will and energy to play this game even after work - something that hardly any game manages to do. So I have decided that it is worth a quick review after I have finished the main storyline of the game.

So far I would say it is one of the best Farming Games I have ever played so far.

I like the maturity behind it. The stories of the Townsfolk aren't all just happy and nice. We have Alcohol-Addiction, PTSD after serving in a war, the game doesn't hide that the Mayor has s*x with a certain Lady, even in bushes in the middle of the night XD but refuses to make the relationship official and many more things you would not find in any Harvest Moon or Story of Seasons games, that much is for sure.

Lots of Crops to plant - could be more, but it is still plenty and why it is missing some of the "usual crops" like Cucumber, it gives you "Starfruites" and the likes.

There is also a big variety of what you can do with them. Pickled Corn and Cherry Wine or Peach jam are among the possibilities.

You can even put your wine, ale or cheese the the basement and let it become better, by becoming older. Its a nice Idea to add a third step to it, so make the stuff even more valuable.

Its one of the rare occasions where you do not just have cows and sheep and maybe also some goats, but also pigs. (Now, Story of Seasons and Harvest Moon certainly also have big varieties of animals sometimes, but I still think adding an Animal that rarely everyone uses in such a game, but yet not using it for its actual purpose, was a great idea.) And then we have those cute little dinos running around with Chickens, Ducks and Rabbits XD A really nice idea.

I would have wished for having a cat and a dog as a pet and I have to admit I kind of missed that this pet has some sort of purpose - it was sometimes really tedious in Story of Seasons/Harvest Moon to Train your cat so it would bring out the chickens and that isn't really realistic either ^^' BUT you could have introduced rodents that make your farm Animals sick and the more hearts you have with your cat, the less rodents will be on the farm or something like this. Just giving the pet a bigger purpose would have been nice.

All in all, as amazing as this game is, I feel like it has A LOT of wasted potential. For example: Why do the other Bachelors not get married, after you've gotten married? Yes, I know you can get a divorce any marry someone else, if you want. But a game that doesn't shy away from Divorces and Stepparents and the likes of that, should not shy away from your character being allowed to steal someones partner away from that person, getting that person divorced as well and give us a nice complicated Patchwork family. (But I guess the coding for that would be too complicated...)

I really liked the way the community center bundles made you do things you might avoid otherwise. Like... I HATE fishing. And yet I did a lot of it for the fishing bundles that I NEED to finish the game. I do not need to take or fulfill requests from the Townsfolk, so if someone asks for a trout, then I can just ignore that. But if I want to finish the game, I need to go fishing - I was actually almost sad there were no big cooking bundles that forced me to cook XD (Because that is also something I hate and rarely do in such games....)

I found it sad tho, that it was over so fast, so soon. If you were prepared, you could have easily finished the game in one year. (It took me too, but I didn't pay enough attention to what I needed...) I wish the Community Center would have had more floors and you have to finish like 3 floors and a Basement and a Balcony or something like that. So that whenever you have finished one part of the building you get different crops to harvest, different fish to catch, different materials to use for buildings and reparations and the likes. I would not wish to make the community center harder to finish. But just make it so, that this game still has main story goals for like 4 in-game-years or so - that can of course also take longer.

You have more than enough Bachelors, you can have Same-Gender-Marriages and two kids are better than one. (More would be more fun, but then we would have some trouble with aging, because then Sams brother would need to age too and... you know...)

I was a bit disappointed how absolutely emotionless and uneventfully the "getting married" and "we are pregnant"- events where tho. I married Sam and when I asked him to marry me he was like: "I accept and I will plan the wedding, it will be in 3 days." And that was it. No big "I love you" - Moments or anything. The wedding itself wasn't a big deal either and I could go to work the same day at 6 in the morning as usual. When we wanted to have a baby, the message came in the middle of the night, in the dark, without having any "I would like to have children with you, some day" - kind of conversation happening beforehand. (I guess it implied they were just doing it and then just wondered if they could leave the condoms in the drawer or something like that ^^' But it didn't feel very wholesome.) There was also no big event to announce the pregnancy. Like a few days later Sam said something like: "You are pregnant." And another few days later he said: "Can't you tell your pregnant?" and that's been it. No Doctor has ever seen my character, even tho we have a clinic in town that could have easily asked for some sort of checkup or something like this and then figured out the good news. Anything really, that would make it more happy and special. The Birthing event once again was conveniently in the middle of the night, in the dark, without any cutscenes and right the next day my character was back to farming. That could and should have been done better.

Other than that, I really liked the game. The place was also neither too big, nor too small - I did sometimes feel like time was moving was too fast, but on other days, slower days, it felt like the time until the shop opened took forever XD

I really also like how you can choose from different kind of Farms. Its really nice - tho I did use the basic Farm for my first run.

I do not use it, but the freaking game has not just an actual Multiplayer, it also has Farms and other extras that will help you playing with multiple people. I think this is a really cool Idea.

Sprinklers! I love those things! The last year I almost never had to water any Crops at all XD Sooo convenient. The Auto-Collector for the Animals as well. It made life as a farmer so much easier. Same goes for the Auto-Feeder in the Delux-Barn and the way the Silo works. Nice. Makes sure that such menial task don't take all your time and energy and make sure the game won't get boring too fast.

Its not very realistic, but I did like that my Barn-Animals could have babys on their own. It was always a nice surprise. And if you do not need another Animal, you could always sell it OR just make sure your Animes can not have Babys at all. (I was sad tho, that the Rabbits - of all Animes - could not reproduce on their own. It felt a bit weird to me, that Cows could have Babys with themselves, but Rabbits could not mate like... well... Rabbits do XD)

The mining part was a bit too hard for my liking. Especially when you are supposed to get to level 100 in the skull cavern without an Elevator and the time-limit on your hands.

Speaking of which - passing out every day at 2 in the morning is a bit stupid. They could have found a better punishment for not going to sleep. Because it is very inconvenient for the mines.

Anyway the music was nice (I did not like one song in Summer tho...) and the game-mechanics and controls mostly worked the way they should without causing much trouble. So...

I give the game 9 out of 10 points.

It is certanly one of the best farming games I have played so far.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #166

Are you interested in any reality TV shows? I like some like cooking shows or other competitions when I'm watching TV with others, which is the only time I ever watch television anyway. Historically I've fucking adored animal documentary series, like Meerkat Manor or Orangutan Island, and I remember I loved one featuring rhesus macaques as well, I just don't remember its name. I am VERY interested in watching animals just live their lives.

What’s your favourite thing to have on toast? Light butter, cinnamon, and sugar. Childhood delicacy, man.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever had to deal with at your job? So much social anxiety that I would end up in the bathroom having a total meltdown regularly. For external things though, just impatient people.

Do you think being born was a mistake? No.

Do you have a large dog? If not, are you afraid of them? We currently only have the smallest species of dog lol, but we've had a boxer mix before. I'm not afraid of them at all, I love big dogs.

What is something you used to always do but don’t anymore? Once upon a time I lived off of soda, like it was ALL I drank for many years, but I've cut back immensely, I'm working towards getting to a point where I'll only drink one personal-sized (not a two liter) bottle a week. I enjoy soda more than I do eating, and I've absolutely noted that it can bump my mood up quite a bit, so getting to where I am now is a big fucking deal if you know me.

Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you didn’t say it back? Yes, that's when I realized things had gone too far.

What’s your favorite hairstyle on the opposite sex? I sincerely love emo hair help 😭

Have you ever done a Mason jar craft? No, but I find those SUPER cute.

Who is your favorite photographer? Anastasiya Dobrovolskaya tops the list, her work is SO dreamy, and the animals featured are all humanely owned.

Were you shy in high school? Yes, but I'm way worse now.

Do you wish karma were real, or are you glad that it isn’t? Oh I very much wish it was real, but it's quite obvious to me that it's unfortunately not.

Who are the cutest babies in your Facebook newsfeed? None lol, I only have one friend with a child who is truly a baby instead of at least a toddler and god I love this person but the baby is NOT cute lol, but I very rarely find very young babies to be cute anyway.

Are your ears pierced more than once, if at all? Yes, I have two on each earlobe, and my right tragus is pierced. I want more.

Did the last guy/girl you kissed have any piercings? Nah, he's not into piercings for himself personally.

Do you actually love your parents? I most certainly do.

Do you know anyone autistic? My niece, and I am FINALLY being evaluated for it myself I want to say next month. I know I have at least one autistic acquaintance, too.

How about someone bipolar? That I'm already diagnosed with, type two. My oldest sibling is also bipolar, but she has type one.

Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries? I celebrate yearly ones, yes.

What was your very first pet like? He was a long-haired (I'm pretty sure silkie breed) orange and white guinea pig named Squeak. <3 He loved attention and was such a character, always gentle and we'd do excited guinea pig squeaks back to each other haha. <3 He was sadly kept in an inadequate cage (you know, the shitty rectangle ones you find at chain pet stores that are actually horrible for them), but I of course didn't know better with how young I was, but he was always a good boy. I'm thankful he lived the proper lifespan for the little guys, I just wish I'd been aware enough to give him a more enriched life.

What’s the coolest hobby one of your friends has? I actually really find D&D to be super interesting; I have multiple friends who do it and wish I had that level of comfort to do stuff like that without being embarrassed by it, I NEVER could do it, I'm way too fuckin awkward.

Have you ever pet a cow, a sheep or a pig? I've pet a small pig. <3 I'd love to pet a cow and sheep too, though!

What is the wallpaper on your best friend's cell phone? IT'S LITERALLY JUST FUCKING GRAY I DON'T UNDERSTAND HIM LIKE WHY

Do you like your girlfriend’s/boyfriend’s parents? I adore his mother, she's such a fucking sweetheart with a ginormous heart and is SO damn accepting. She's been an absolute darling to me ever since she met me. I never met his dad, he died of a very sudden heart attack or something similar like over ten years ago, so I'm not comfortable making a judgment about him. I know Girt's always explained him as having been a hardass, but a very caring one that loved his family to death. He's mentioned that me and him are quite different, primarily politically, so we might've butted heads but he was ultimately pretty confident that he would've loved me. I really like hearing stories about him, and pictures are always super cool because holy SHIT Donald Sr. put his fuckin face through a copying machine and plastered it onto his son lmfao, like it's unreal.

Do you like Polaroid photography? YES, I find it super super aesthetically pleasing and so nostalgic; I myself would really like to have one to take fun little pictures with it sometimes.

Is there a friend of yours who curses nonstop? Who would that be? Haha you mean me? Girt's even worse than I am though, he's one of those people that will curse freely in public, not to be rude or provoke people, but because he just straight-up doesn't realize he does it. He's the person who has more than once gone "SHIT I shouldn't be cursing" NOT quietly in public lmao, I've sometimes just had to give him a lil nudge for him to realize when in public or around kids. Girt is extremely intelligent, he really really is, but he will often just do things very mindlessly and without evening beginning to realize that he's doing them.

What internet browser do you use? Chrome.

What do you usually do to let your feelings out? Listen (usually very loudly) to music, vent to people I trust, sometimes do artistic stuff like write or draw. I cry very easily, and sometimes doing that will help relieve stress. On VERY few occasions I've screamed into a pillow, and boy does it feel good when I'm REALLY upset enough, even though I absolutely hate doing it. Even though I know factually it's harmless and is even a good way to ease frustration in a way that doesn't hurt others or property, I feel like an aggressive person the few times I've let myself do it and just really don't like that.

What was the last thing you uploaded/plugged into the computer? Uploaded, a picture from my phone. I last plugged in my phone to charge; it fits the charger for my mouse so I can use it when I'm in here.

Are you participating in Project 365 (you take a picture of you/something every day of the year and post it)? I've considered doing this with photography, and I'm certain it would further train my artistic eye, I just... haven't. I'm not really one to take pictures with my real camera unless I really desire to take a certain picture, I don't just trash it up with random things. I honestly should let myself do this though, I KNOW it would be beneficial as an artist.

Do you have a Flickr? If so, post the link. Yeah, it's Ozzkat on there, but I don't use it very much at all. It's a lower-priority art platform for me, I mainly focus on deviantART despite the fact I quite dislike the website now for how aggressively and unabashedly it endorses AI "art." I've just been there the longest and have the biggest following there by far, so...

Do you think it’s dumb when a band smashes their instruments, or do you find it totally radical? I honestly do find it dumb, like... why. Why destroy what is generally a great quality instrument if you're a band playing it on stage to an audience. If you want a new guitar or some shit, just donate or even SELL the damn thing, don't break and waste it.

Have you ever made a gif? If not, do you think it’d be interesting to make one? I've made many over the years for various purposes, yeah. I tend to go through episodes of making them and then not.

When you feel uninspired, do you feel like you need to go somewhere to become inspired? Not really, actually. I tend to become inspired by observing others' artwork and stuff. It is very much about the content I surround myself with.

Have you ever lived on a university campus? No.

Do you play any games on your phone? Only Pokemon GO. I would like to be able to play more, but my phone is trash with VERY limited memory, I've had to delete plenty of things just to keep that one game updated and therefore playable, lol.

Have you ever shaved your face? Yes, there's this tool I use that's not quite a razor, it's a vibrating tube thing that looks almost like a lipstick case, but I use it on my upper lip, chin, and I've started to use it between my eyebrows too.

What was the last vaccination you got? It was a tetanus vaccine refresher, I think?

Who’s your favorite rapper? And your favorite song by this favorite rapper? Eminem, and probably "Love the Way You Lie," I was OBSESSED with that song when it was new. I also like "Space Bound" a lot, though.

How about your favorite band? And your favorite song by this band? Oh fuck. For Ozzy it's proooobably "Trap Door," but I'm also very much adoring of "See You on the Other Side" (actually listened to it today) and "Mama I'm Comin' Home." The Rammstein song I enjoy the most in terms of catchiness/most often in the mood to listen to is "Zick Zack," however I consider my ultimate favorite by them to be "Stein um Stein" because it's a fucking artistic storytelling masterpiece imo.

Has anyone ever made a promise to you that they’d change? Who? Juan probably did at some point in high school.

Have you ever had any painful dental work done? If so, what? Oh yes, I wasn't afraid of the dentist until recent times when I was finally paying for neglecting my teeth due to depression and I now realize also executive dysfunction issues later in the timeline. I had a lot of cavities, a few that were quite severe, and fixing one required me to get a numbing shot THROUGH THE ROOF OF MY FUCKING MOUTH, like I could FEEL the needle go through and deep into my fucking gums, and it was my worst EVER experience with a needle, that shit HURT. I'm finally getting better with taking care of them, thank fuck; I think seeing how severe the consequences were becoming really kicked my ass into gear. It doesn't matter if I hate my body, it's my responsibility and I'm going to do all I can to make it better and comfortable to live in. I also had braces for a large chunk of growing up, and getting them tightened always commenced a very painful few days afterwards for all of my teeth. I recently had a wisdom tooth yanked out, and while the numbing shots did suck, they definitely used an adequate amount of it 'cuz I sure didn't feel anything other than pressure. I only got scared when the tooth broke, the sound made me jump.

Is there anyone you’d like to apologize to? Jason. I doubt I'll ever get the chance, but god do I wish I could express how sorry I am to his face. I also want to apologize to Sara for how I severed our friendship, I should have been more direct (I had my honest reasons for thinking it was better not to be so confrontational, but I know now that I was wrong in that part), but I know it's better that I don't stir up settled dust. It's better for both of us that we just don't have contact with each other. Like yes, I think it would help me to just get my apology off my chest, but when you consider I don't seek reconciliation with her whatsoever, it'd be a pointless amount of possible upset.

Could you go a month without talking to your best friend? HELL NO, we're dating and serious with each other so even going a day without some amount of contact is out of the question for us. A month without talking to him would be MISERABLE.

How has your style changed since you were in high school? Well back then I was your average emo kid, still pretty emo at heart but a bitch is wearing comfortable shit these days, lol.

What was the last new drink you discovered that was delicious? Strawberry banana smoothies.

What is your favorite way your hair has ever looked? Probably how it is now, but when it was newly dyed a seaweed-y green.

Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? No, neither of my parents grew up in NC. Well actually, during my last college attempt I DID have an English teacher that previously taught my mother like a semester prior; she got her degree only a few years ago.

Where’s the nearest GameStop near you? Shit bro, probably not even three minutes. It's in the same complex where our Wal-Mart is.

What was the last thing you took a video of? Probably either Roman or Cookie being silly.

What’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken? Overdosing on cold medicine.

Do you believe your ex cares about you? No. Maybe he does, but I'm not so sure about that.

What was the last compliment you received from the opposite sex? Girt said something about me being a positive influence, which meant a lot.

Have you ever been to an orchard? No, but I'd REALLY like to.

Who was the last family member of yours that died? My maternal grandmother, that I know of.

What is your favorite color for cars? Pinks, of course. I am also a big lover of burnt orange cars.

Do you have any gay family members? I know I have at least one on Mom's side, it's like her distant cousin or something, I'm not entirely sure on what he is to her.

Did your last relationship end because of you or the other person? She instigated the breakup, so her.

Would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn? No, I know I'm an extreme minority that gets zero enjoyment out of porn. I'd only be bothered if my partner seemed more into watching that than doing things with me, his actual girlfriend. I don't know or care if this is something he does when I'm not around, and if he does okay cool, I don't feel like I'm actually competing with a porn star or whatever. I suppose maybe this would depend on who my partner IS too, like I deeply trust Girt and what he feels for me so the idea of him watching it does nothing to me. It's not like he'd actually pursue his favorite porn star or whatever.

Have you ever had crabs, turtles, or lobsters? I've had a few hermit crabs in my life and very briefly a turtle that I shouldn't have even had.

What is your favorite type of cat? Oriental shorthairs!!!!!!! I REALLY want one of these one day.

What if a friend asked you to go with her to get an abortion? I'm walking in there right beside her and holding her hand if she's fine with it. She will have NO doubts that she is loved and supported.

Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst? Either Jason or Girt, depending. The night of the breakup when Jason very briefly came over to check on me because of shit I said, I was FUCK-ING HYSTERICAL, but Girt came to the ER following my suicide attempt because I tagged him as someone I directly wanted to say thanks and bye to, and I feel like that was truly my lowest point ever in life, in that hospital bed with an IV in me wearing scrubs. I was ready to die and was so done with existence, I was dirty and hideous and crying but he stayed for a while anyway.

Are you sitting in a spinning chair? Yes.

Are you one of those people who will not use a public washroom? I definitely avoid them if I can, but I'm more comfortable going depending on how well-kept the place is. For example, I'm WAY more comfortable using the restroom in like The Cheesecake Factory versus a gas station, haha. If I gotta go though, I gotta go, I just do the thing where you place toilet paper over the seat.

Have your parents ever disapproved of the person you’re dating? Like, the person I'm CURRENTLY dating, or any partner I've ever had? Either way I think no; I know they've always approved of Girt, but I suppose Dad might have not been thrilled about me dating a girl once, but I really have no idea what exactly he felt. As it turned out Mom didn't like Sara either, but it had nothing to do with her being another woman, she was fine with me dating a girl.

Were you raised by someone other than your parents? No.

What’s the last chore you did? Vacuumed.

What is your favorite jungle animal? Very close call between tigers and clouded leopards. I'm also quite fond of kinkajous!

Is your father injured? He has a bad back and has for a very long time, but I don't think he has any noteworthy, current true "injuries."

Are you part Native American? No.

What are your pets’ names? Roman, Venus, and Cookie.

Have you ever worked two jobs? No, I can pretty fucking much GUARANTEE I would never be able to do that.

Who is the oldest sibling in your family? Katie.

What are some of your happy thoughts? Being with Girt, a hopeful happy and content future together, the idea of being a successful photographer who gets to travel a good amount, having a poetry book published, be surrounded by well-provided-for and loved pets one day... just a lot of visions of the future I want.

What are the names of all the dogs you’ve ever owned? Trigger, Angel, Teddy, Dale, Delilah, Harley (maybe? I can't remember if she only stayed with Ashley?), Cali, Bentley, I think her name was Lola (we had her very briefly), and now Cookie. Maybe one more in there somewhere, I feel like Mom's mentioned a dog's name that I don't remember at all before.

Would you ever get a face tattoo? I'd NEVER get a big one, but I'm doubtful I'll even get a tiny one. I'm quite sure I don't want any on my face.

How much was the rent/mortgage at the cheapest place you’ve ever lived? I have no way of knowing that because I've never been involved in the finances of anywhere I've lived.

Who in life have you felt the strongest need to protect? Uhhhh... that's hard? There are multiple people who come to mind, all in different sorta ways, but I SUPPOSE the absolute strongest would ultimately be for my older sister's three kids. I would fucking kill for them, with ZERO hesitation.

What is the cruelest thing a person has ever said to you? I really, really enjoyed being called a spineless, weak-willed deadweight that exaggerates her trauma, that was super cool.

Who do you think was the worst criminal in history? Probably Adolf Hitler, but idk. There have been many sick people, but Hitler definitely left the biggest impact with I'm assuming the largest casualty numbers in his name.

Which laws would you most like to change? Abortion needs to be a GLOBAL right, heightened gun control is FUCKING mandatory, LGBTQ+ rights should be a guarantee everywhere under the sun, capitalism should fucking burn to the ground, and I know there are SO many more, I'm just drawing a blank atm while knowing I'm missing very obvious shit.

Who is the person you most wanted to have an affair with but didn’t? I can confidently say I've never wanted that.

Who have you most feared in your life? My dad.

What is your strongest reason for your opinion on abortion? The being that already has a novel's worth of thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires, and memories comes WAAAAAAY fucking before the developing cells that have none of those. Full fucking stop.

What one natural thing would you most like to see? Aurora borealis.

[sassypotatoe1]

Vultures are one of my favorite birds. Mostly my favorites are the cute or very pretty ornamental ones. Tits and finches are up there, starlings are really high on the list go look at south african starling variations you will not regret it! Canaries and doves are high on the list too because I grew up with my dad keeping them. I don't know the official name of the bird but we have a shiny black bird with ridiculously long tail feathers that move like gymnastics ribbons when they fly that we call troupant voëls (older name means wedding band birds when directly translated).

So you'd think me liking dainty, pretty, cute birds would mean I wouldn't like vultures. Besties have you seen those things? They're the most dinosaur after chickens, emus and ostriches that's cool as fuck! That's just visually speaking idk about evolutionary lines. Most importantly though they're incredibly important to the ecosystem when it comes to scavenging decaying animal matter and neutralizing pathogens. Vultures have stomach acid so strong they can digest botulism.

In case y'all don't know by now botulism is an extremely dangerous disease caused by a bacteria that creates the botulinum toxin, which literally paralyzes literally anything else that consumes it until they can't eat or breathe and slowly die of starvation, asphyxiation, both, or being killed by a predator because they're paralyzed. Once paralysis sets in it's over there is no treatment beyond that point.

Botulism does not have a smell or taste, it grows anaerobically, meaning without the presence of oxygen, and the only thing that can kill it is a strong acid or high heat. Vultures have stomach acid with a ph of 1.0. When canning food, especially meat or animal products, it's recommended to use distilled vinegar with a dilution of 5% acetic acid or more, because any less is not acidic enough to kill botulism.

Many animals get it from wildlife infected with the bacteria, and it spreads among predators because pack predators or scavengers all eat from the same animal. And then they die from it and other omnivores or scavengers eat them. Vultures are largely responsible for stopping botulism from becoming a major issue because they eat rotting meat and have badass stomach acid. This stops the bacteria from infecting other scavengers who will then continue the spread of the disease.

You might be wondering how this affects you in any way, you eat domesticated livestock not rotting wildlife, how would botulism even make it into your food? Vultures help wildlife sure but they do nothing for you, right? Wrong! Pets catch rodents, and livestock do too. Cows and sheep may be herbivores, but they're not above eating a little rodent every now and then if they're peckish or need minerals. Pigs and chickens are omnivores and will kill and eat any rodents small and slow enough. Those rodents can sometimes be carriers of the botulinum bacteria, because rodents are... You guessed it! Scavengers!

Now you've got a negligible amount of botulism bacteria in your livestock. It's not a problem, their immune system and stellar veterinary care keeps the levels so low that if you were to eat it you very likely won't get infected. Unless you preserve the raw meat. Aging, drying and canning takes high acid vinegar for a reason, because once that meat with no white blood cells hits room temperature that bacteria starts to grow. And as it grows it makes the botulinum toxin as a metabolic by-product. We process our food so well in this day and age that we have very very few cases of botulism among humans. If you don't use these processing guidelines you greatly increase your risk of getting botulism.

We are however seeing a rising trend of people consuming unprocessed animal products because of this delusion that it's "healthier and safer" than processed food. What they fail to realize is that we developed these methods of food processing over centuries BECAUSE we were fucking dying. Pasteurization? Developed because tuberculosis was being transmitted to people from the milk and people died. Canning guidelines? Developed specifically because the bacterial and fungal growth was studied intensively with the use of different canning media. 5% acetic acid killed botulism. Any less and you'll still get colony growth. When you dry or age meat you also use strong distilled vinegar. Or very low temperatures. Because botulism likes room temp.

A lot of people think that if you don't use the acid content guidelines you'll be fine as long as you vacuum seal your cans. Remember when I said botulism grows anaerobically? Yeah that means that it grows in the absence of oxygen. It not only thrives when there's a vacuum seal and no air, it needs it!

So we get a few centuries where a only couple dumb idiots or starving poor people get botulism because they didn't or couldn't properly process their food, and then crunchy moms and roided up body builders on tiktok insist on eating unprocessed animal products and spread misinformation about the safety of this, and people start getting tuberculosis from their cows and botulism from their animal products, because a cow nibbled on a mouse that nibbled on a dead and rotting rabbit and the end user decided that it's healthier to leave the steak at room temperature with no vinegar or seasoning and then eat it raw. Because processed food labels use the chemicals names for their processing products instead of common names and some health influencer once said "if I can't pronounce it it's not going in my body".

Vegs might be thinking "but sassy, I don't eat meat or animal products so I should be fine, right?" wrong! Plants can grow botulism too! It's much much much less likely, but botulism just needs a protein, a not-too-acidic and anaerobic environment, and time and the right temperature range to grow. If you're canning vegetables and you don't use strong enough acid, you could get botulism. Fruits often are already acidic enough on their own but roots, tubors, stems, leaves and florettes often aren't. Beet, cucumber and beans are canned in vinegar for a reason. If your vinegar isn't 5% acetic acid or more you could get botulism. If you ferment veggies and you don't use a strong enough acid you could get botulism.

Botulism is also like the only bacteria that can still somewhat grow in honey. There's a reason they tell you not to feed babies, who have very weak immune systems that can't combat negligible levels of botulism, honey.

Anyway everyone thank vultures for making sure there's small enough amounts of botulism in the ecosystem that idiot influencers haven't killed us all yet by making us eat raw meat.

every single day I think about how american black vultures are known for engaging in allopreening (preening between different species)

and they have a specific relationship with crested caracaras, in which the black vultures assist them by not only preening them after meals but also leading them to food in the first place— due to their superior sense of smell— while the caracaras assist the black vultures by acting as a warning signal in case of danger

and while this is more typical of black vultures, this is not common at all for any member of the falconidae family— it’s a special bond!

yet another post in favor of vultures everyone , hope you enjoy:) and I implore you to do some more research on these incredible birds !!

[kexkiji]

My love

Chapter four

<< Chapter three | Chapter five >>

Contents: fem!reader x vampire!shoto

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'Where should I go first?' You asked yourself.

'I guess it wouldn't hurt to start at the stables...wonder if they've got some cute horses...or maybe a little barnyard cat?' You headed back into the manor to receive directions and once they had been given you headed back out.

'Ok, out the front door to the left...little stone path...' you repeated the directions in your head over and over to not forget them. You walked along the little stone path which led you through some trees until you came to a large clearing. There was a fenced area in this little hidden meadow where you could see a few horses and other farm animals grazing and a cozy-looking barn too. A loud bark sounded from a little way down and a huge white dog made its way up the hill to you, its metal spiked collar clinking. The dog quickly took in the fact that you were a human and not some wolf coming to kill livestock and began to wag its tail.

"Hey there bud~." You smiled at it. The dog was quite big, its back reached your hips. You reached a hand out to pet the fluffy dog before making your way down the hill to the pasture. The dog followed you, walking at a pace close by your side. You couldn't help but smile again.

'This is oddly comforting.' You thought to yourself.

"Oh hey! Looks like Tadao took a liking to you!" Someone yelled from inside the fence. You looked up from the dog at the person as you drew near. He was a boy with suntanned skin and brown curly hair, various freckles adorning his cheeks.

"Name's Gin! Nice to meet you." He pulled a glove off of his hand and reached over the fence to shake your hand.

"I'm (name)." You took his hand and shook it.

"Oh, I've heard about you!" He said excitedly, slipping the glove back on.

"You’re the new blood donor eh?" He questioned. You nodded your head with a smile.

"Well, (name)! What's a fine maiden like yourself coming down here to the stables for?" Gin asked, picking up a bucket of water and pouring it into a trough.

"I thought I'd come and explore," you explained.

"Fuyumi said I could look around the place for myself."

"Ha! Well...not too many interestin' things goin' round here!" Gin said with a laugh.

"But ay- if you're interested n' hanging out with the sheep I wouldn't mind the company!" He reached over the fence to unchain the gate and opened it for you.

"What animals do you have here?" You questioned, having had animals back at your own home you were curious.

"Ah well. We've got cows, horses, chickens, goats, pigs, sheep. Oh! And we do have some wild geese come round here sometimes." Gin began walking towards the barn with you following close behind him as Tadao plopped down into the grass.

"Is there anyone else here that works with you?" You asked. You were concerned for the boy if he did all that work by himself.

"Well, I do most of the work. Though sometimes people from the manor come down and help out. Natsuo likes to come down here and help shear the sheep when they need it." Gin commented fondly. You nodded, interest piqued.

"I enjoy it though. I love caring for the animals and they make for great company! I get to stay here for free and I get paid enough." Gin did seem genuinely happy, as did most people who worked at the Todoroki manor. You smiled.

"Well, I better get going. Would you mind if I came back here every once in a while?" You asked Gin. His eyes seemed to sparkle at you.

"I wouldn't mind at all! Feel free to come here as much as you want!" He smiled at you.

And with a wave, you walked back up the hill and through a few trees back to the manor.

"My lady there you are! Would you care for some lunch?" A maid asked you.

"Yes, that would be nice, thank you." You were led to the dining room again, though no one was there and it was only you eating. You didn't mind though. Once your lunch was eaten (rather quickly) you thanked the maid and headed back out to explore some more.

"Hey (name)!" Natsuo walked up from behind you. You turned to look at him.

"Oh hello, what's the matter?" You questioned.

"Well, Fuyumi just got done with her work and she wanted me to ask you if you'd want to come with us to the lake?" He smiled. Your eyes grew wide.

"There's a lake? Of course, I'll go!" You were elated. Natsuo smiled and made a 'follow me' gesture.

The two of you walked along a path through the forest that partially surrounded the manor. Fuyumi caught up to you a moment later.

"Well, I tried to get Shoto to join us but he said he had studies to do." Fuyumi sighed.

"Hey, you tried." Natsuo gave her a pat on the back. Fuyumi nodded and smiled at you when she noticed you walking alongside them.

"Father finally let you go?" Fuyumi asked her brother.

"Yeah, he said for me to leave him so he could…‘write in peace’." Natsuo sighed.

The three of you reached a clearing. You could feel smooth pebbles crunch under your feet. A large clear lake stretched out in front of you.

"Whoa! It's so clear!" You exclaimed.

"It's because we're the only ones who ever come here. The water's practically untouched." Natsuo smiled, slipping his shoes off and dipping his feet in the water.

The three of you sat at the edge of the lake. You chatted about life and all your experiences. You took this as an opportunity to get to know the two siblings better. They spoke about their childhood and all the silly mischief they’d used to get into while their father was busy.

You looked out across the glimmering water with the mumbles of the two in the back of your mind. The sound of the trees rustling added to the comforting ambiance.

The sun began to set and you had all headed back to the manor for dinner. Fuyumi, Natsuo, and you spoke at the table until the dining hall doors opened once more. Shoto entered, glaring at his father’s empty seat as he walked.

"Pardon me for being late." He said quietly as he took his seat at the table.

"Where's father?" He questioned.

"Oh, he took his food to his chambers...he won't be joining us tonight." Fuyumi took a sip of red liquid from her cup. Shoto nodded.

"How were your studies?" Natsuo asked Shoto, trying to start a conversation.

"Fine." That was all the answer he got back.

You could see Natsuo sigh inwardly. Shoto's eyes glared up at Fuyumi.

"What room do you have her staying in?" He asked coldly, referring to you. Fuyumi seemed to stiffen at the question. She immediately changed the subject.

"(Name) have you been to the gardens? They're qui-,"

"What… Room… Is she staying in?” Shoto interrupted and asked slowly, seeming to already know the answer. Fuyumi's eyebrows furrowed. You sank into your chair a little at the rising tension.

"Now, now, let's not fight-," Natsuo tried to calm the two.

"Why does it matter about the room?" Fuyumi asked her youngest brother.

"If you think the room doesn't matter then why aren't you telling me?" Shoto’s voice was low as he stood from his seat, the action causing the table to jostle and the blood in Fuyumi's cup to spill.

"It's hers isn't it..." he whispered angrily. Fuyumi only sighed. Shoto pushed his chair in and quickly made his way out of the room.

"Shoto please!" Fuyumi called after him.

"Just leave him." Natsuo sighed.

"Uhm....what's wrong with my room?" You piped up.

"You’re fine (name), I'll have someone escort you to your room. Have a good night ok?" Natsuo smiled at you. You nodded, still confused, but followed the maid out of the dining hall as more maids came in to clean the mess.

[thsc-stuffs]

Aww, that's really sweet. Also, same height budgies.

I think the title works better than either last name, because while a family man, it does give the vibe of 'don't fuck with me or anyone I know', and while it overestimates in some ways, it helps show that you aren't the only one the mess with once all of the animals are out. No offense to any of you, my brain can't exactly think of any other terms.

Speaking of being a family man, are you a pet guy as well? Or one of those closet types that say they don't want animals and then absolutely spoil said animal?

Hah, height buddies! And you're right about the title- thank you :)

And ohoh. Pets. I grew up on a farm- I'm talkin chickens, occasionally pigs or cows or whatever we could happen to get that year, dogs nd barncats nd all else- m a pet guy too, just never wanted to get one while in the clan. If I died or got arrested or somethin, I couldn't imagine the poor thing bein left alone. The rest of the clan would take care of em, yeah, but the thought of a dog waiting for me to come back... yeah. If I were to've retired, though, I'd've gotten a couple 'a dogs nd a cat. Maybe even a fishtank too!

Jaques is sorta iffy on animals, all things considered, but a fishtank would've been just fine. They like laying and watching the fish we've got now, actually- cute little betta named Bait. :)

[smol-blue-bird]

“I tried to make an entire homestead with zero effort, research, or experience and my crops failed :( why didn’t it work? I thought we could live off the land!” Well, Janet, maybe you should have looked into which crops this climate can actually support, when and how you should plant and harvest them, and whether the land you own is large enough to support your entire family

“I got chickens on a whim at Tractor Supply and half of them got eaten and the rest aren’t laying!” Did you research anything at all about having chickens, or did you scoop up half a dozen chicks because they were cute and you thought it sounded fun to have a backyard flock?

“I got a pet [insert massive farm animal here] and it’s gotten too big/I don’t have space for it/it isn’t producing the [animal product] I was expecting.” That sucks. Maybe do some basic reading before you get a teacup pig/“cute” baby cow/etc next time.

“Living here is difficult and inconvenient! Why is everything so far away?” Because it’s a town of 2000 people, Susan. Of course we don’t have a college or a shopping mall right there in the village. Why did you move here???

my new favorite type of person is the City Person who moved to my rural hometown after 0.5 minutes of research because they were chasing a #cottagecore fantasy and thought they could work from home forever during the pandemic, and are just now realizing that actually living in a small town is not like the pastoralist, Arcadian Pinterest fantasy they imagined in their heads

[dearest-kibble]

Can I request headcanons for yandere Bakugou, Todoroki and Deku where they have been leaving their darlings voicemails proclaiming their love and whatnot and seeing as they're not reacting badly to it, their darling must be happy. Turns out they haven't heard any of it because they don't know how to access their voicemail

Oh gosh oh gosh I love this concept??? Thank you for requesting! 

Okay so,,, these get a little unhinged real quick because i am in a mood so!

Tw: Dacryphilia, degradation, stalking, yandere relationships, unhealthy relationships,  (Maybe?? just in case,,,) dumbification, lots of cussing (Thanks katsuki.) They’re all pretty abusive,,, Midoriya’s gets a little n/sfw-ish? Like just motions of moans but,, to be safe also panty stealing. I love these boys so much so i’ll make them terrible,,, as a treat.

All of these characters are third years!

So here now, we have a temperamental one.

And no, it’s not Katsuki.

It’s Shoto.

Half cold, half hot.

He’s easy to anger. If you say the wrong thing, well you’re in for it.

But, he likes you.

You’re always smiling at him.

He knows that you smile at others but there has to be something to smiling at him, right?

People tell him he’s handsome, they tell him he looks good. Women ask for his number.

So you smile at him because you like him.

So he’ll dote on you a little.

He has your number. He paid someone for it.

And he’s been leaving you just about the nicest things he could.

He loves talking to you, even if he doesn’t quite feel comfortable talking to you face to face.

And he just loves telling you how sweet you look for him. How cute your voice sounds and how he just loves you.

“I’ll make sure to marry you one day. You’ll have anything you want.”

“You looked so sweet in that outfit today, once we’re married, I’ll get you something like it. Would you like that? I’ll make sure you have the nicest clothing for when you walk down the isle, goodbye.”

“Your voice is stuck in my head, I can’t wait until I can hear your voice all day in our house together. Goodbye, I can’t wait to see you.”

“When we have a child, you’ll be a wonderful parent. I love you, goodbye.”

“You’ll marry me, right? Goodbye darling, say yes.”

And well, Shoto wasn’t being told to stop, but you weren’t talking to him.

At all.

And so, he tries to ask you about it after class, in the dorms when you two are in the common room.

Luckily for Shoto, you’re the only one there.

You send him a quick smile as you see him sitting in the corner, before you return to stretching.

It makes his heart stop - just for a few seconds - before hastily standing up and walking towards you.  

“Why haven’t you said yes?” He’s got that intense sound in his voice, like it’s as important as finding a villain.

“Yes to what?” You’re still stretching as you look up into his eyes.

It’s clear to him that you don’t have a clue. And really, that shouldn’t make him angry. It’s irrational to think that you’ve been deliberately ignoring him. But who doesn’t check their voicemail?

“The messages I’ve left you, why haven’t you responded to any of them, don’t you love me?” Shoto feels as calm as ever.

You’ve stopped stretching. Expression blank as you attempt to process whatever is going through your head.

“Of course I love you!” And your smile is back. Shoto nods, of course you love him, he can give you whatever you nee- “You’re one of my friends!”

Oh.

“Oh.” Ice begins to melt beneath his flesh

“I don’t know what messages you’re talking about though, did you ask Sero for my number? Class notes, right?”

You can’t not know how to check your voicemail. No one is that stupid.

“The messages I left you. You must’ve checked them.”

“I’m uhh..” You laugh a little. Normally it’d make him blush. “I don’t know how to check them. Sorry Todo...”

“You know exactly what I am talking about.” The look you give him is nothing but confused.

“I... don’t, could you explain it to me?”

“You wouldn't need this explanation if you just talked to me.”

“Sorry Todoroki, I didn’t know you wanted to talk.” You’re a good actor, because there's no way you didn’t know he wanted to talk to you, to marry you.

“I’ll show you.” He grabs you hand and yank you off the ground. “Give me your phone.”

“Wha-” You shiver.

“Your phone. Give it to me.” You hand it over without hesitation. “Good.”

It doesn’t take long for him to find the messages he left. 

“How do you know my password?” He ignores your question.

He opens the most recent message he left. Just this morning.

“Good morning. I want you to know, that our marriage won’t be a quirk marriage. I can’t wait to see what you’ll look like in the dress i have picked out, I love you. Goodbye.” 

“Todo-” 

“Shoto. I’m going to be your husband.” 

“I- give me some time to process-”

“You have had plenty of time to process. So you must’ve been ignoring me.”

“I haven’t!” It’s adorable how desperately you try to lie. You’re quite good at it. 

“Be quiet.” His voice is devoid of emotion. “You can’t go around ignoring your future husband like that. Now we’re going to have a nice, long chat about this in my room.

“But Todoro-”

“You will call me Shoto.” He sends a flare of ice up your arm.

“Shoto! You’re name is Shoto and I-” Your free hand scratches desperately at the ice. 

“Desperately trying to get me to remove the ice.” He gives you a cold smile. “Once you really learn your lesson, that won’t happen again. Got it?”

You nod. Tears dripping down your cheeks. 

“You wouldn’t be crying if you didn’t ignore me.” He pets your hair. “Now, I’m more than a friend to you, right love?”

“Of course Shoto! I love you more tha-”

“Then smile like you do.” You look like you’re helpless with those tears in your eyes though. 

You try, you really do but this is where your acting prowess stops. It’s not a cute, sweet thing like normal. No, it’s ugly and contorted.

“Try again.” Practice makes perfect. “That isn’t what I asked for.”

You wipe your tears with your free hand. He should’ve frozen them both. You’d have to learn to rely on Shoto sooner or later. You take a deep breathe and fix your face into that adorable little smile you gave Shoto.

“Was that so hard?” He brings a chilled hand to your face to wipe away a tear that had gotten away from you. “Come, we’ll talk in my room. Once your arm melts, we’ll see if you’ve learned your lesson.” 

Katsuki only has your number for study sessions, he swears.

Your friends don’t believe it no matter how loud he yells.

Probably for good reason.

You’re not doing nearly as poor as Kirishima in terms of grades, and you weren’t a bad note taker either. So the fact that Bakugou still invited you to study and the fact that he seemed a little extra harsh on you?

Your friends find it a little strange.

But Bakugou also calls Kirashima “Shitty Hair” so it’s not really out of character for him to tell you how much of a dumbs you are for getting from point A to B in a different way than normal. 

Hell, Bakugou does it the way too.

He tells you it’s because you’re “A shitty extra who’s just trying to be better than me!”

Which, to be fair, checks out with how he treats the rest of the class.

So he’s fine.

Your friends are just a little paranoid that’s all.

And he can understand that. After all, who wouldn’t want to protect you?

He even leaves you little messages. He thinks they speak for themself.

“You got bruised today when you were trying that shitty new move of yours. Be more god-damn carful next time!”

“Hey. Why aren’t you at our study sessions? Shitty Hair isn’t as stupid as you and he actually understands the material. I’m stuck here for another damn hour if you don’t- Oi! Pick up the fucking phone you shit head!”

“Fuck, I went a little far with the last message. I saw your new cut. Did you get it from a shitty piece of paper? You’re a fucked up excuse for a hero if you got beat by a piece of paper. Don’t worry doll, once I’m with you, I’ll kiss it all better.”

He leaves countless messages a day. 

You haven’t even thought about them he bets.

Your brain might as well be a cows, you’re so fucking stupid. 

“Oi! Cow brain! Talk to me.” He doesn’t dare drag you over. You’re still delicate even if you have the mental capacity of a shrew.

“One second Bakugou, I’m going to talk to Mr. Aizawa about mastering my quirk.”

You haven’t even figured out how to master your quirk? So fucking useless. But he waits for about fifteen minutes outside the door. 

“We need to have a study session.”

“Why? I’m doing pretty well, aren’t I?”

“Not with that stupid burn mark you got from sparring with the laser extra!”

“Aoyama?”

“Fuckin Aoyama.” Little blond bitch is trying to hurt you. 

“I’m fine Bakugou, i’m going to be a hero I should get used to a few cuts and burns, with the villain climate,”

“The fucks a villain climate?” You don’t even know that climate is used for weather. You really are a stupid pig. Someone needs to save your bacon, huh?

“The way villains are at the-” Damn your eyes look like a deers’

“I know what a villain climate is!”

“So, you pulled me aside to study, right?”

“At least you remember that.” Any smart person would’ve figured out that was a lie though. “But you’re a fucking idiot for thinking that was the case. You’ve been getting my notes, you know how fuckin worried I am about you getting hurt.”

“You worry about me getting hurt?” Your mind really did move like molasses. 

“Pretty fuckin slow on the uptake there sweetheart.” 

“You’ve been sending me messages?” Oh fuck. You’re even dumber than a cow. 

“Are you completely braindead? I’ve been calling you a dumbass for months,” 

“I don’t know how to open my voicemail, not my fault technology is confusing baku-”

“No one is that fucking dumb!” 

“Bakugou, you’re yelling.”

“No Shit?! I wouldn’t need to be if you actually understood anything that I’m telling you! It’s not that fucking hard to understand you just open your damn phone, and click on those stupid ass red icons on the phone app.” If you weren’t so delicate and in need of keeping safe, he’d punch you.

“Oh uhh- Bakugou? Did you mean to play these?”

“Fuck no I didn't.” Maybe he’s a little obvious. But not so obvious that you’d pick up on it.

“I uhh really think I love you? Maybe it’s cause you're such a fucking dumbs that I can’t stand that you get hurt. It’s painful to see. Shit. I hate that I love you. Just die already.” Katsuki in the phone sounds like he’s gone soft. Can’t have that.

“Bakugou, it isn’t very heroic to tell someone to go d-”

“That’s the thing your shitty mind picks up on?” You’re such a cute little doll. “I just told you that I loved yo-”

“Even more of a reason to report you. Two pro heroes shouldn’t have a relationship, it’s unprofessional.”

“Your stupid ass really thinks you’re gonna be a hero? You can’t even go a round with Aoyama without getting a burn. Nah baby, you’re gonna be at home, well protected and away so that you don’t have a chance to fuck something up.”

“I’m going to be a hero Bakugou.”

“I tell you that I’m gonna keep you at home, away from everything and everyone and you’re concerned with being a hero? Dumb as hell.” 

“Bakugou, you seem to be especially mean to me-”

“Fuck it. You wanna get a shitty Lunch Rush meal?” Oh it’d be so easy to drug you up. You probably don’t even think about people who might drug your food. You're just a stupid little doll.

Midoriya really likes stalking you, okay?

You’re cute, a real old family friend and really sweet too.

You were absolutely ecstatic when his mom held that dinner to celebrate his quirk’s manifestation.

He almost told you the truth about All For One.

Big developments should be shared with the people you love, right?

Course he never really got your number cause he’s a little bit shy, but.

You won’t mind if he finds it in your house, right?

He’s been there countless times before, so it’s not like this is anything big or new or a groundbreaking development. 

It’s just, he’s here at night now, and you’re asleep. And so are your parents. 

But he’s quiet, don’t worry! He’s not gonna wake anyone up. It’s a hero’s duty to make sure that others are okay, and that includes getting the proper amount of sleep!

So he makes his way around your house with a nervous shuffle. 

How can he be calm when you’re sleeping just mere rooms away? It’s very distracting with you on the bed, just splayed out for him to watch and look at while you dream. 

Sometimes you moan. 

He likes to think he caused that.

He’s a little disgusted to think it, but he’s a little pent up. All the time

And you just look so cute on top of that bed-

But he came here for a phone number, and he’s gonna get one. 

Besides, he’s going to be the number one hero, a symbol of peace! He can’t sully All-Might’s legacy with dirty thoughts!

So he finds your phone charging on a chest of drawers in your room. 

After a few seconds of watching you sleep.

And oh you look good in a tank top and shorts, eyes closed and-

He picks up your phone to distract himself.

You were really trusting, weren’t you? You didn’t even have a lock on your phone.  

He’d hug you if you wouldn’t wake up from his cold skin.

He’d do more than hug you-

Nope, not gonna think about that and Midoriya hates himself a little for looking through your drawer to find where you keep your panties. 

There a lot of pairs to choose from, colored, patterned, laced... So many, pretty kinds of panties.

He settles for a pure, white pair. It’s plain. You won’t miss it.

After he pockets the guilt-inducing panties, he once again sets his sight on your phone.

Once again, he opens it, tries to find where you’ve put your contact information, and quickly duplicates it for his own device,

“Goodnight Bunny! Sleep well!” Oh what he wouldn’t give to kiss you goodnight.

After that, he decides to send you a few messages. They’re quick, innocent, sweet. He almost recorded himself cumming in your panties.

That morning, he wakes up bright and early, with even more energy than normal. He send you a good morning message, and moves on to stretch before class. 

He isn’t late but the only notes he can take in classes are those about your sleeping habits.

You snore, you like to sleep on your left side rather than your right, meaning Midoriya is the little spoon, and you like to sleep in tank tops which means Midoriya has to start wearing them.

When lunch rolls around, before Midoriya meets with Iida and Ururaka he sends you a quick update.

He should probably return your panties,

After he washes them, of course. 

He returns that night to your house with a notebook he’s decided to dedicate to you and your shared love story.

He checks your phone again and debates playing the recordings back to you in your sleep, or waiting for you to find his sweet surprise.

You’ve always likes surprises, you’d love one from him!

He looks at your panty drawer again.

It takes most of his willpower not to take another pair.

“Goodnight! Sleep well bunny!”

He makes a swift exit and leaves another message.

He repeats the process for several days and maybe it’s his imagination, but you sleep with a smile on your face now!

He wonders if it’s the returned panties that did it, or his messages.  

Sunday is date night for your parents, and it’s U.A’s day off. It’s like the stars have aligned themselves for Izuku Midoriya and your love.

He’s going to ask if you like his messages and if you’d like him to start texting you.

After five days of sneaking in the night, finally Izuku can knock on your door and see the light shining on your perfect face.

He knocks on the door, dressed in casual clothes. 

You answer in an All-Might hoodie and Izuku imagines it’s his All-Might hoodie.

“Oh! Hey Midoriya! Parents are out now, would you like to come in?”

“Oh uh! Yes please!” Even if he’d imagined this playing out so much, he can’t help the nervous tick of his hands. He’s so so close to you.

The door stays open until Izuku walks through, It’s nice to come in the front, and not a window.

You begin leading him towards the kitchen, hang a left out of the foyer. 

“I just started some chicken nuggets, hopefully I made enough for you,” You spin around suddenly. “I don’t know why, but I don’t think I have your number.”

That means you haven’t listened to any of his messages then? Izuku’s smile drops.

“Oh it’s nothing personal, I just never thought of giving it to you before, agues i should’ve considering how long we’ve known each other. I didn’t mean to make you look so sad Doriya, here its...”

Would he have to show you his messages? Would he have to make you see how much he loved you?

But that... sounded so violent! So villainous. It wouldn’t be right.

“Hey..” You put a hand on his shoulder. It fits perfectly. “You got that Doriya?”

“Yes!” His smile isn’t hard to regain with your hand so warm on him.

“Nuggets are done too! How many you want?”

“Oh, I’m actually, not- that hungry.”

“Any reason?”

“In my-” What did should he  — that’s got to work. “In my most recent work-study, there’s this case where someone is leaving voicemails to their targets,” But that makes him sound more villainous  than he wanted to.

“Oh shit really?” You look very cute with your wide eyes. 

“Uhm, yes?” It’s a terrible lie and anyone could pick it up if they weren’t so good and kind and trusting - and oh no.

It just had to make him sound like a villain.

“I’ve been getting some voicemails recently, and if it’s evidence or anything, do you need to take a look?”

“No,” He can feel the sweat dripping from his face. “It’s ah, fine?”

“Midoriya, if I have evidence and I don’t bring it in, wouldn’t that make me an accomplice?”

“Technically-” But if you knew they were from him why would you think they were an accomplice- you thought he didn’t have your number. 

You hadn’t heard those messages.

“Do you know is it’s evidence?”

“Well I can’t actually open m voicemail but if it’s anything, you can teach me, right?

“Of course!” He offers a hand to take the phone. “You just -” He taps a few things, “There!”

And you two listen to them. Izuku has such a big smile on his face.

“Good morning! I hope you feel great today! I’m going to do the best i can today, and i know you will too! I love you!”

“I’m about to at lunch, i wonder what you’re having. Maybe one day, we can cook together? Love you, have a nice meal!” 

“I’m about to get ready to come see you tonight, if you want to, stay up! I want to kiss you goodnight! Love you Bunny!”

“What is this?”

“I’m a little embarrassed, but it’s like the voicemails said! I love you, morning noon and night!”

“Midoriya, have you — oh god is that where my panties went?” The anger in your voice hurts him. “Get out.”

“Bunny I-”

“Get out of my house Midoriya. Before I call a real hero.”

“I love you!” 

“You don’t love me, you like my panties and an idea you’ve cultivated because we were never really that close.”

“I’ve known you since i was-”

“Yes, you have, but it’s our parents who are friends - not us. If we were friends, by now I’d call you Izuku.” And like that the notebook of his brain that’s pages were being torn out and stomped on were being sewn back in by a practiced hand.

“You can call me Izuku, if you want.”

“Midoriya, i’m telling you, get out and I won’t report you. You could get your license revoked. You don’t want that.”

“But-”

“Leave.” The way you stood your ground was very admirable. 

He makes a mental note, you are trusting, sweet, kind and headstrong. 

He can work with those. 

He’s suddenly glad he only returned one pair of panties.

He’ll get to visit you again real soon.

-- 

HOLY SHIT DID THAT TAKE FOREVER TO GET Through. I rewrote Shoto’s part five time but im pretty happy with it. Overall I think Bakuboi’s is the best.,., and Izuku,,, my poor deku,,, yours is.... interesting. Anyway thank you for the patience of the requester! And for also requesting these three lovely lads. Oh boy,,, time for some smut coming up... 

[blacksheep28]

Star Stable Halloween Trail Ride

Halloween has always been special. My first one in Jorvik though, where magic is so open and yet so easily brushed away with other explanations? It's incredible. There's a being called Galloper Thompson that comes in the month of October to collect souls to trap in his domain. I don't know what he is. I want to say he's a ghost, but I don't think a ghost would live in its own separate domain, or have the power to harvest other souls.

I managed to sneak into his domain to look around. It's wonderfully spooky. The souls there are shockingly friendly, more focused on finding ways to entertain themselves than escape or harm. Perhaps because they tired of trying to escape ages ago. Either way, I can talk to the souls there and they'll lie about my presence to the master of the domain.

I found a portal in his domain guarded by a crow spirit who told me it lead to a Halloween Night trail ride. I love trail rides, and I love Halloween, so of course I'm going to go through it.

It was night on the other side of the portal, despite it being day when I went through. Ghostly torches light the path, and I'm starting to think that the crow was being literal about this being a Halloween Night trail ride. I might in fact be on the day of Halloween. Is time travel possible? Is this a facet of another world? A glimpse into a possibility? A dream? It feels surreal to ride through.

There's a ghost pig on the trail just waiting for attention. It's so cute to pet. And I found Emma and Luciana further up around a campfire trading stories. They were surprised and relieved by my presence. I wasn't as scary as they feared. Only, I shouldn't have been here, and neither should they. I sat down and listened as Emma retold a classic Jorvik ghost story of the Glue Man. I'm hoping this one is just a story, I would hate to think of Mythcare being stolen away to be killed for glue.

Further up the trail I can see what looks like an echo of a memory like what Linda brings forward when revealing the past with her moon magic. It's a circle of what seems to be druids around a horse laying on the ground. I hurry forward, but they vanish, and a tendril of Garnok pushes forward. It's aware that this time and place isn't quite right, but It is very much Garnok, and promises that soon It will come through. It's terrifying to have Garnok's attention so directly on me in a place so foggy in reality. And what does it have to do with the druids? They weren't sacrificing the horse, right? I want to believe they wouldn't do that.

There's Halloween masks on the trees up ahead, cute and funny. They've been animated somehow to turn and watch me. I suspect the trees are more awake and aware here on this trail in this time than they normally are. I thought I saw a wagon up ahead set for a rest break, but it vanished as I approached. I can see what might be stone, fossil, or illusion forming a giant rib cage through the ravine I ride down.

There's crows flying overhead here. They're calling to each other and watching from the trees as I ride past, lifting once I pass to settle on another nearby tree and continue watching. The path splits up ahead. I don't know which is the right path to take. I hope I'm taking the right one as I continue down. The crows at least approve. And there's a ghost cow I can take a moment to pet.

The ravine really narrows ahead, and there's thick giant webs crossing through it. There's actually a giant spider, large enough to eat Mythcare, resting at the entrance. It almost looks cute. I dropped my guard too much. Everything on this trail ride so far has been eerie but harmless. This wasn't. The spider dropped down and chased after us for a meal. I pushed Mythcare to race down. There was another spider down there, and I think I spotted eggs. Mythcare was more graceful than I could have hoped for in dodging the webbing so we didn't get tangled up.

Somehow we got out. The crow spirit greeted us there, and asked if we'd enjoyed ourselves before leaving. The rest of the trail ride was, somehow, mundane. There were just pop out wooden cutouts of Halloween monsters with spooky noises from a recorder. James was wearing a mask of his own face running it, asking for a donation if I'd enjoyed the ride. I reached the portal and passed back into Galloper Thompson's domain.

All I can think now that I am through to the other side, is was it really James at the end among what seemed so mundane? Or was that last stretch still a mockery of the norm, simply placed there to calm those who rode through with a doppleganger in a mask?

[ayybtch]

Psychotic

Bucky Barnes x f!Reader

Summary: You really love animals, Bucky not so much. A random TikTok brings to light exactly what Bucky thinks of you.

Word Count: 1,776

Warnings: Being told no to getting animals, a couple swear words here and there, blink and you miss it suggestiveness, and a very strange TikTok

A/N: Happy Valentines Day everyone! I watched this TikTok months ago and absolutely lost it when I saw it, so definitely give it a watch! Dividers made by the lovely @firefly-graphics​

A Mutual Weirdness Masterlist

Days off were a rare occurrence for Bucky. Rarer still were days off that coincided with yours, and it practically required cosmic intervention for both of you to be off on a weekend. This was the first Saturday Bucky had off in almost two months and he planned on spending it doing absolutely nothing.

He made a point to sleep in and stay in bed as long as he possibly could. Once the grumbling of his stomach finally won out, the day would start off with a giant breakfast followed by a long, hot shower. The remainder of the day would involve him sitting on his ass while enjoying a good book or watching TV. He’d stay where he was until he needed to eat and that’s the way he liked it.

Today, he wanted to make some progress on the strange Romanian murder-mystery novel Wanda had recommended. She swore up and down that it was one of the best she’s ever read, but so far Bucky was not impressed. The pacing was too slow, the characters were too dull, and the murder itself was not all that intriguing. He would have stopped already if it hadn’t been for Wanda pestering him about it.

He had been laying on the couch completely immersed for almost an hour trying to solve the case before the lead detective when you came rushing into the room. You climbed into his lap and sat there staring at him, eyes unsettlingly wide. Bucky peered back at you over the top of his book, suspicious as to what could possibly be running through your head. A small smile started to appear on your face, but you remained silent.  

“Can I help you?” Bucky asked after a few minutes without any change to your expression, which was growing more and more manic-looking by the second.

Your eyes seemed to snap back in focus as he spoke and the rest of your face became serious. “So I had an idea…” you said cautiously, suddenly far more serious than he had ever seen you look before. “What if we got chickens? Not too many, just like three. I think three is a good number.”

Bucky stared at you in disbelief. “We live in an apartment. Of course you can’t have chickens,” he said flatly. You rolled your eyes at his response.

“Obviously not right now, but in the future when we’re not living in an apartment. You know, after you and I get hitched and find a house we like.”

All of the confusion and concerns Bucky had were thrown out the window as he processed what you said. You want to buy a house with him? You want to marry him? The thought of being with you forever made his heart skip a beat and filled him with an overwhelming urge to kiss you. He realized you were still watching him expectantly, waiting for an answer. “S-Sure, I guess. I never really liked chickens though -”

He wasn’t even able to finish his sentence before your lips were pressed against his.

“You are the best! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!” you yelled, kissing him all over his face between thank you’s.

When you broke apart, an excited squeal left you that had his ears ringing. You laid down fully on his chest and started rambling about how nice it would be to have some land so you could have a nice big garden filled with every fruit and vegetable imaginable, a decent sized back patio or porch for friends to come over, and plenty of space for the chickens to have a giant coop. You even started listing out possible names for the chickens. Your seemingly endless ramble ended unexpectedly as you trailed off mid-sentence, gasping slightly after a moment. You picked your head up just enough off his chest to look him in the eyes.

“If we have enough room, can we also have goats?”

Bucky groaned, “Don’t push it, Doll. I’ve barely agreed to the chickens.” He pulled you back down onto his chest and placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head before he continued reading.

It was almost a week later before Bucky had his next day off. He decided to plan a long-overdue date night. It was nothing fancy, just a casual dinner at a restaurant you liked followed up with dessert. After you left the restaurant, the two of you made your way through a stretch of Central Park. He had intended for it to be a romantic walk, full of hand-holding and kissing that maybe could lead to something else once you were back at the apartment. Instead, it quickly turned into one of the worst decisions of his life.

Everything was going according to plan until you spotted the raccoon family of three hanging out in the tree not far off the path. Bucky didn’t even need to look at you to know you were staring at them with the same heart eyes you always stare at animals with.

The raccoons were in a relatively low tree branch, each snacking on some food they had scavenged from a nearby trash can. You pulled Bucky off the sidewalk and into the grass. Your excitement grew with each step you took towards the tree.

“Bucky look at their little hands! How cute are they?” You whisper yelled, practically jumping up and down with excitement. You were so focused on them that it gave Bucky the chance to watch and appreciate how enamored you were. While it drove him nuts sometimes how many animals you wanted, it never stopped being adorable to him how passionate you were about them. Bucky had no doubt you’d manage to sweet-talk him into more than he’d care to admit, but if it meant seeing you smile like this every day then it’ll be worth it. He was so lost in his thoughts of what your future may hold that he hardly heard what you were saying to the raccoons. It wasn’t until you finally turned to look at him that he tuned back into what you were saying.

“Do you think raccoons would make good pets?”

Without a word, he picked you up and slung you over his shoulder before turning to walk away, shaking his head as he did.

“Oh my god, babe! Look at this baby cow!” you gushed, bursting out of the bedroom and into the kitchen where Bucky was making breakfast. “It’s so fucking fluffy, I need it.” The emphasis on need left Bucky scoffing as you shoved the phone into his hand. You stood there and stared at him, grinning ear to ear as you continued to ramble about the baby cow.

He eventually had to cut you off, “Doll, we’ve been over this a dozen times. You don’t actually want a cow, you just want a cow you can hang out with. Now sit down and eat your eggs before they get cold.” He scooped out some scrambled eggs onto a plate before placing it at your usual spot at the counter.

You grumbled slightly before sitting down on the barstool, stabbing your eggs harder than necessary with your fork. “You didn’t even acknowledge how cute it is.”

“It’s very cute. But I’ve already agreed to quite the menagerie so I have to put my foot down somewhere. I’ve already said yes to the chickens and it’s at least maybe on goats, and possibly a pig if we have enough room.”

“I’ve already said yes to the chickens and maybe on goats and pigs,” you said mockingly. “What difference does a cow make if we’ve already got all of those?” you asked, mouth full of food.

Bucky stared at you, shaking his head and sighing. “You’re lucky I love you, woman.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead and sat down to join you for breakfast.

It was almost a month later before the two of you finally were able to have a quiet night together. The evening had been spent cooking dinner, making a mess in the kitchen as you did, followed by making a different kind of mess in the living room not long after. Now, the two of you were laying in bed together winding down for the night. Bucky was reading while you laid there scrolling mindlessly on your phone. You giggled from time to time, pausing to show him a funny meme here and there, but for the most part, the room was quiet.

It wasn’t until you were in full-on giggles that Bucky leaned his book against his chest and stared at you waiting for an explanation.

Once the giggles died down, you rolled slightly to be closer to him. “You have to watch this wack ass video.” Your laughter started up again before you even hit play.

Bucky watched as the guy in the video kept pulling out stranger and stranger animals. He chuckled throughout the video, but it wasn’t until a thought struck him at the end that he really burst out laughing.

“That’s going to be you in five years if I haven’t already married you and kept your psychotic ass from getting an unreasonable amount of animals.”

Your laughter died and you stared at him reproachfully. “Bucky, baby...do you think I’m psychotic?” Somehow you managed to sound unconcerned by the possibility of being psychotic. If anything, you seemed almost amused.

“Honestly? I think you’re on the brink of snapping sometimes,” he said with a slight shrug.

You stared back at him, not fully sure if he was joking or not. The serious look on his face confirmed he wasn’t joking and you couldn’t help but laugh. “Good to know you think I’m one mental breakdown away from snuggling with a possum, you jerk,” you teased, placing a quick peck on his cheek.

Bucky turned to fully face you, looking you dead in the eyes. “Be honest with me, if the possum was replaced by one of those raccoons we saw a couple weeks ago, how unreasonable would that seem to you?”

Your face felt hot and you stuttered for a moment before going quiet. “I guess that’s fair,” you mumbled, eyes rolling slightly. “But raccoons are cuter, you can’t blame me for wanting to snuggle one.”

“I know, you fucking weirdo. Now come here,” Bucky said, grabbing you and pulling you into his chest. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head and a comfortable silence fell over you. A few minutes later, Bucky spoke again.

“For the record though, possums and raccoons are both firmly on the ‘no’ list.”

[eeveedel]

WIP Sunday

Hello all, I was tagged by to post a bit of my current WIP alongside some “art” -- I don’t have a current moodboard but I thought I would provide some general ~~aesthetic pics and another preview of the rancher harry fic -- this time an HL meet cute! I hope you all enjoy, and happy Sunday

Harry heard a rapping at the screen door, and he grunted, shifting his weight forward so he could sit up and hoist himself out of his armchair.

He took a step forward on his good leg while his bad one dragged behind him. After a bit of walking around, it usually woke up enough for him to put more weight on it, but for now, after his rest, it was a dead weight of pins and needles behind him. It took a bit of effort to get to the front door, but he got there eventually. He grabbed his cane that was leaning by the door, and then opened the wood door, revealing just the screen and what lay beyond it.

There was a man in mint green scrubs and a thick corduroy jacket on his porch, perfectly centered between the big American flag hanging beside Harry’s door and the pots of tulips lining the front gate. The man at the front door was young. He had some creases around his eyes and mouth but his freshly shaved face looked so youthful, along with his bright eyes behind his big, wire frame glasses.

“Howdy,” Harry drawled, lifting his thermos to his mouth, “You must be — “ His tongue worked in his mouth, trying to come up with the name Margaret had given him last week. It wasn’t something common around here, and yet it still evaded him.

“Shoot, I’m sorry,” he sighed, pushing up the brim of his hat with his thumb, “Help me out, what’s your name, son?”

“Oh, I’m Dr. Tomlinson, but you can call me Louis,” he said. “Dr. Baldwin caught me up on some of the animals you have here and their needs, sir,” he said. “I know you have a pregnant cow nearing the end of term and a newly pregnant mare that just needs a bit of a checkup as your main concerns. She also told me you had a few roosters and a chicken coop, is that correct?”

Harry cracked a smile and nodded.

“Well, that’s correct. Seems like you did your homework,” he said. “Cherry’s gonna have a baby now damn day now and I just found out about Goldie last month.”

He took a sip of his coffee, shuffling his feet and readjusting his cane as he did.

“You don’t need to worry too much about the chickens, they nearly take care of themselves. Got a few pigs but those are going to market in a couple months, but you can take a look at ‘em if you want to.”

He pushed at the screen door, moving out onto the porch to meet Louis directly. When he was in front of the man, he could see Louis looked even younger up close, and he was nearly a full head shorter than Harry.

“Can I get you something to drink or anything before we go out?” Harry asked, taking the briefest moment to look the young vet over.

“Um, maybe a glass of water after we finish up? It is a bit hot out today, even though it’s January,” Louis rambled. “I mean, I came from San Francisco, so it’s still hot there— anyways, sorry.”

He exhaled, his cheeks already pink.

“Could you show me to Cherry first, please?” Louis asked. “I want to make sure she and her calf are in tip top shape.”

Harry smiled gently. The young vet was eager, and looked a bit flustered. He tried not to let his gaze linger too much longer, although he already liked him.

“Sure thing. I’ll show you out the pasture. Cherry’s probably out gossiping with her friends.”

He walked to the edge of the porch, taking the small ramp that was easier to navigate with his cane.

“Tell me, they have a lot of cows out in California, Louis?” he asked as they trudged along the path, “Because if this is your first one, I’ll give you a fair warning. Cherry’s a sweet girl but a little sassy.”

“Well, I grew up in San Francisco, so no, we don’t have a lot of farms there,” Louis said. “But I studied with a bit of everything in veterinary school, and went to a lot of farms up north. So yeah, I’ve worked with cows.”

“Good, good,” Harry nodded.

He walked through along the dirt path that led from the house to the rest of the ranch. He led Louis past the chicken coop and the large horse barn, moving out to the back part of the property with the cattle barn and the large pasture. His leg was starting to wake up, making his gait a bit less strained.

“Where did you study?” he asked.

“UC Santa Barbara for undergrad and then vet school at UC Berkeley,” Louis said. “I just graduated last spring, actually.”

“Congratulations,” Harry said. “Before you look at my girls, you wanna tell me know if you were bottom of your class?”

Louis laughed a little, scratching the back of his neck.

“I was actually valedictorian.”

“Damn. Undergrad or vet school?”

“Uh,” Louis said, smiling sheepishly. “Both? And high school.”

“Jeez,” Harry chuckled. “Well. I didn’t even go to college, so you’ve already impressed me many times over.”

They arrived in front of the enormous cattle barn and the wide pasture beyond it. Harry smiled to himself, lifting the hand that wasn’t gripping his cane.

“Yep,” he smiled to himself, “There she is.”

He gestured to the pasture, and specifically pointed to one of the cows, a rich red brown and swollen at the belly, who was smack in the middle of a group of five other black and white cows.

“Gossiping, just like I thought,” Harry said. He reached for the gate, going to unlock it, “Well, come on, you can give me your expert opinion.”

“Wow, she’s beautiful,” Louis marveled.

“Don’t let her hear that, it’ll go straight to her head,” Harry said. He opened the gate fully, then opened the pasture and turned around, holding it open for Louis.

Once they were both inside, Harry approached Cherry, cooing and clicking his tongue as he walked. She looked up and stared at him, chewing slowly on a thick clump of grass, but when she was done, she let out a low moo and slowly but surely waddled towards him.

“Here she comes,” Harry smiled.

They both stood and watched her as she slowly came over, and when she did, she immediately gravitated to Harry.

“Hey, princess,” Harry said. He set his hand on her head and gently stroked her with his thumb, smiling to himself as she blinked at him with her big, milk chocolate eyes.

“Louis’s gonna take a look at you, pretty girl,” Harry said. “You be nice to him.”

Harry kept petting Cherry’s head and then looked over to Louis. The vet was kneeling on the ground, unlocking the briefcase he had brought. It was funny, seeing him with a shiny, clearly barely used case. Margaret had always just shoved her tools into her ancient Jansport backpack, which was covered in twenty years’ worth of coffee stains and held together with duct tape and spite.

Louis took out a pair of latex gloves and a stethoscope, then moved closer to the animal. He gave her a settle pat on her swollen side, then put the stethoscope’s earpieces in. He set the metal diaphragm on her side, and Cherry jolted a bit, but Louis cooed at her and kept petting her side as he listened. He closed his eyes and nodded a bit as he moved the cold metal over her stomach, humming softly to himself.

Harry watched Louis carefully touch and examine Cherry, the young man’s hands gentle but sure as he did his job. Harry had had his hesitations before Louis arrived. But he seemed at home, and like he really cared about doing a good job. Harry could appreciate that. He had spent years building up trust with Margaret to work with his animals, but, maybe he was just getting sentimental at his age, or Louis really did have a special touch, but he immediately felt just fine with the younger man taking care of his herd.

After a few minutes Louis opened his eyes and ducked his head down, examining Cherry’s udders and nether regions. Finally, he lifted his head and pulled himself up, taking the stethoscope out of his ears and draping it around his neck.

“Well, she looks great,” Louis said as he peeled off his gloves and shoved them into his jacket pocket. “The calf’s got a nice, strong heartbeat. She seems about a couple weeks away, but just keep an eye on her – “

“Early labor, yeah,” Harry said. “I always start preparing at least a couple weeks in advance of the due date, anyways. My girl Caroline went into labor a couple years ago, fuckin’ 16 days before she was due, and I was in Austin for the weekend. Only time I left the house in months, and she picked that weekend.”

One of the white cows in the pasture mooed loudly, and Harry looked over his shoulder and glared.

“Yeah, I’m talkin’ about you, fuckin’ drama queen,” he scoffed. “She’s a good girl. And a tough one. Had a delivery all by herself and nearly gave me a heart attack when I got home and there was a new baby toddling around.”

He turned back to Louis, offering an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, don’t mean to bore you with farm stories right off the bat.”

“It’s okay,” Louis said. “I love to hear animal stories.”

“Well, let me know in a few months if you’re sick of cow stories. That’s nearly the only kind of stories we have in this town.”

Louis just laughed and lifted his hand, shifting his glasses up his nose.

“Would you show me to Goldie, please? Just to see how her early stages are going.”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” Harry said. “Goldie’s in the small barn, come on.”

[nighttimepixels]

Night, i got a new little pet! He's a cute lil jumping spider! Do you think any of your girls would have unconventional pets?

Oh my stars that is an adorable type of pet?? I’d love to know his name, he sounds very friend-shaped :D

And ooooh I love this question- the girls definitely are all pet-lovers in general, and would be open to a wide variety. On average they’d all definitely have pets, whether in pairs or with s/o’s or on their own, but if they were to get unconventional ones...

Serif would casually adopt a farm animal, anything ranging from the more 'normal' (chickens, pigs, a cow...) to the more odd (an alpaca, an emu??). Most likely to happen because of hijinks leading her to discover a farm animal that her sister has a bleeding heart over, and Serif can't help but feel the same.

Vellum would casually adopt odd "creepy" unconventional pets - she just thinks they're neat! Anything from spiders to rats to snakes and beyond. She's actually very responsible with them though, and would research the heck out of how to properly take care of them.

Sapphire would definitely end up befriending/semi-adopting the aggressively friendly local deer population. She never tries to bring them inside, but you'll definitely stumble across some classic fairytale looking scene at some point in the backyard and/or local parks. They seem to be able to find her no matter where she is~

Amber definitely accidentally(??) adopts(????) a raccoon or two at some point. If pressed about it, she looks mildly confused and amused and insists they're just very weird cats or dogs (sometimes in the same breath).

Crimson is definitely inclined to get a "creepy" pet or two along the way, but the funnier one she'd likely end up with is in fact... a pygmy goat. It's a tiny, feisty little thing, abandoned at the side of a road where a traveling shady carnival had gone through. She swears up and down at those that would just sort of abandon an animal like that... but nonetheless, a minute later it's bundled up in her jacket in her truck and within a few days (when she can't find it a decent home) it's a part of her family (and will absolutely take the knees out of anyone it deems is unworthy of Crimson).

Scarlet is very much a snake sort of pet owner; Crimson has to talk her down from getting too many (and upgrading their house to being part snake sanctuary, frankly). By all observations, too, she seems to be something of a snake whisperer - they always love to just... curl around her and drape over her. It's a hell of a look, and if you didn't know better, you'd swear the snakes knew it as much as she did.

Pepper is absolutely inclined to get into falconry, and ergo end up owning a falcon as a pet(?). What she "uses" her falcon for is a mystery for anyone beyond glimpsing their training/"exercise" sessions and Pepper reading out in the backyard with a falcon on her shoulder, sipping wine and feeding the falcon things that no one really wants to look too closely at.

Cinnamon kind of adores ferrets. They're sort of borderline on being 'unconventional', but they're a fairly sure bet. She knows they can be a bit strong in the scent department, but dammit, those little noodle boys give her so much joy. She looks all cool and suave a lot of the time, but just catch her running down the hallway with one of those tubes for ferrets to run in with three or four ferrets running gleefully after her and... well. Maybe you'll get a soft spot for them too.

Blade and Twist both sort of... adopt the entire forest? It's hard to say whether they're just good with wild animals, or if the wild animals effectively consider them 'owners'. Either way, it's pretty normal to walk to their oversized cottage and catch Blade sitting on the porch with a bear lazing in her lap, or to find Twist gardening with a few wolves lazing in the sun next to her, or to find one or both of them 'scolding' a wolverine or something that's got into a tussle with a local lynx... it's casual, don't sweat it.