#the petals were so rude
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blotomical · 1 year ago
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he hungers
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specshroom · 7 months ago
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A Mischievous Fairy
˚˖′.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˖*.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˖′.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˖*.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˚˖′.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˖*.⊹
When a humble farmer decided to live on the outskirts of town right next to the forest he did not expect to make friends with a small temperamental creature from the forest.
It was a pretty good deal you had going on, you help his plants grow with fairy magic and he gives you a safe warm place to sleep and home cooked meals. Most days are spent with you doing your best to annoy the poor farmer as he tries to remind himself that you're the reason his produce sells for such high prices.
You fly around his head making little jingle noises and he tries to ignore you and go on with his work. You steal little things like spoons, screwdrivers, pencils and put them in places he can't reach like on top of the cabinets and shelves. When you get mad at him you grow weeds in his crops until he apologizes or gives you a gift to your liking. Despite this the farmer has grown to truly enjoy your company...for the most part.
His loneliness is getting to him and he's tried to have company over but it's kind of hard to explain to guests why there's a little, scantily clad fairy staring daggers at them the whole time. It definitely ruins the mood as he tries to convince them you won't bite (you will and you have).
One day the farmer comes home from town looking more excited than usual. You plop yourself on his head as he walks around his little cottage.
As he sorts through all the items he bought you get impatient and decide he's not paying enough attention to you. You fly right in front of his face and pose for him, showing off the new outfit you made out of flower petals in his garden.
"Not right now, Tiny."
The farmer rolls his eyes and gently shoos you away with his hand, focusing back onto his apparently very interesting haul from the market. The very rude gesture gets you all fired up and you're in his face again this time with your hands on your hips and an angry expression. The farmer sighs and gently cradles your tiny body in his hands.
"Look, I'm busy. Alright?"
He walks over to the windowsill and gently plops you down onto the little pincushion he set aside for you. You sit there with your arms crossed, glaring at him as he puts away his items.
While you're sulking you notice a little bottle of purple liquid poking out of the farmers front pocket. You quietly flutter over and sneakily inch the tiny thing out of his pocket.
"Hey!"
The farmer tries to stop you but you're much faster than him and fly up, out of his reach. The glass bottle is a little bigger than you're torso and when you inspect it the label says "Growth serum"
You let out quite a dramatic gasp and look down at the farmer, betrayal written all over your face.
"Now Tiny, don't jump to conclu-"
The farmer starts but is interrupted by a very angry fairy yelling things he doesn't understand right in his face. All he can hear is jingles but he's sure he's getting severely cussed at. He understands why, you helped this man grow his crops bigger and better than ever and now you think he wants to replace you for some stupid, probably overpriced serum?
You angrily throw the bottle to the ground and the farmer dives down to clumsily catch it before it smashes onto the floor.
As you feel tears fall down your hot cheeks, you flutter back to your windowsill and sit with your head between your knees.
"Hey, don't cry now."
The farmer sheepishly leans against the windowsill next to you.
"I promise, it's not for the plants. You already help me out so much with that and I appreciate it a lot. I don't need anything else."
You peak your head out from your arms and look at him skeptically.
He holds his hand out to you and you hesitantly flutter onto his palm, enjoying the warmth of his touch despite the cold wetness of your cheeks.
"Truth is, it's lonely for me out here... and I know you get lonely too."
You scoff at him. Obviously, the whole reason you were upset in the first place was because he was ignoring you.
"I uh... I got this for you. So we could....uh well only if you want to, I mean... I don't know."
You stare at him dumbfounded as he fumbles his words, you've never seen the farmer like this before.
You shoot up to hug his cheek, jingling in excitement. You give him tiny kisses and he laughs at the ticklish feeling. You float to the counter in front of him and bounce on your heels waiting for him.
"Alright, alright."
He chuckles at your stark change in mood and uncaps the tiny bottle of magic liquid. You brace yourself as he carefully lets one single drop fall onto your little head.
Nothing happens for a moment but before you could feel disappointed the world blurs and you're suddenly face to face with your farmer.
He stares down at where you sit on his counter, now perfectly human sized. Your cute dress didn't survive the quick transition but you don't seem to mind as you jump the poor farmer.
You grab his face and kiss him deeply. Finally feeling his lips on yours makes your wings flutter and your heart sing as you lock your legs around him to pull his body closer.
"Alright, slow down."
He says through kisses and huffed laughs as you kiss all over his face and neck.
"Now why don't you let me show you how much I appreciate you."
He mumbles in a sultry tone, bringing his hands down to grip your ass and grind your hips into him.
He laughs at the way your wings violently flutter and takes that as eager agreement.
˚˖′.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˖*.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˖′.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˖*.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˚˖′.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˖*.⊹
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yestrday · 2 months ago
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: ̗̀➛ DESPERATION INCARNATE yan! xiao / gn! reader
in every life, he had sworn to protect you. in every life, he had failed. in this life, he'll make sure that it won't happen again. to keep the you in this life from ever slipping away from him like you did so many times before.
in which xiao falls in love with you in every life and slowly goes insane.
( reincarnation au, w4r, lots of blo0dshed and decápitation, graphic description of vi0lence, mention of xiao's sl4very, deáth... lots of it, sort of enabler aether but for a lil bit, the beginnings of a yandere, angst. lots of it as well )
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“you know, yéyé says that if you make a wish on a dandelion seed, then your wishes will come true!”
the unnamed adeptus fixes his golden gaze on a fellow prisoner, sitting across from him with a bright smile. the prisoners around them have given up already, with their dull, glazed eyes and the repeated prayers of deàth spilling from their cracked lips. but this odd one, although their face caked with grime and their hair matted from bloòd, smiles at him from the darkness.
“... dandelion seed?” he goes, not bothering to wince or be embarrassed by his raspy voice. this dull life strips you of your dignity and pride. there’s no use in saving face when you’re looking at deàth right in the eyes. “i have never heard of such a thing.”
“oh, you don’t know?” the little prisoner cocks their head at him. “it’s a curious thing! it’s a flower with fluffy petals covering the middle part. yéyé said that whenever he takes a walk on the borders between liyue and mondstadt, he’d pick some for himself and make a wish!”
the adeptus scoffs. “wishes have no place in my world. actions must be taken if you want results. your grandfather sounds foolish. now be quiet, lest you want the god to take care of that noisy tongue of yours.”
his fellow mate sticks said tongue out at him and gives him a dirty glare. “how rude! my yéyé is the smartest one in our village, you know. he takes a record of all the crops harvested. he’s veeery important! besides, don’t you want to know what he wished for?”
he sighs. it wouldn’t hurt to indulge this one’s yapping for a little more time. the painful groans were starting to take a toll on him and conversation, no matter how foolish the premise sounded, was a nice change of pace. even if his throat was hurting from use because of the god’s neglect to give them drinkable water. “what is it, then?”
they grin at him. “he wished for mondstadt’s harsh winds to disappear! isn’t he cool?”
“why wouldn’t he use the wish for himself?” he cocks his head. “it seems to be more efficient and logical.”
the little prisoner stares at them from behind their bars.
“... what.”
“you are so dull to talk to.”
ugh, this little—! they were the one who started the conversation! before alatus could snap something back, they fall back dramatically and shake their head at him in a pitying manner. “wishes aren’t made to be efficient and logical, stupid! they won’t always work! that’s why they’re just wishes!”
he decides that this thing is absolutely aggravating to talk to, but he won’t deny that he likes their company. “then what’s the use of doing something so useless?”
they laugh. it echoes through their cell, a pleasant tune before it escapes through the bars and gets lost in the sad symphony of groans and lifeless pleas. they continue to laugh like they were underneath liyue’s vast blue skies instead of an underground tomb. “isn’t it obvious, mister adeptus? it’s for hope!
“if you wish on a dandelion and blow the seeds away, your wish will be carried for all of teyvat to hear! and then– and then! even if it’s just a teeny bit of hope, you’ll start to feel that everything can be possible!”
“sounds inefficient.”
“that’s why i said you’re so dull to talk to.”
“hmph.”
“i don’t understand why you keep coming back down here, mister adeptus,” comes the familiar cheery voice of his once prison mate. the surrounding cells are all empty, filled with corpses of the dead long gone. the young god has no time to spare any thought for the useless mortals hanging in his underground prison. the adeptus slides a tray of milk and bread between the bars and into the lap of a grinning face.
even you, he thinks as he examines their sallow face and dry lips. you have been forgotten.
 “you have plenty of companions upstairs. shouldn’t you be celebrating and parading around with them? i heard through the cracks that you’ve got plenty of rice wine to waste.”
“they are not my companions,” he snaps, but they don’t flinch as they snack on the food. “they’re fools who waste their time mindlessly partying and deriving pleasure from the pain of the weak. and i’m… i am nothing more than the god’s plaything.”
he sinks to the ground, sighing. “... [your name],” he whispers, staring at them tearfully from behind bars. “i will get us out of here, i promise.” his hands, shaking and caked with blood, gently reach for their cheek. it’s rough and awfully thin, and something in his chest breaks whenever he sees such a beautiful thing covered in dirt like they were nothing. “i’ll get you back to your village. i’ll make sure that you’ll see your grandfather and your siblings again.”
their hands squeeze his lightly, not having the energy to reciprocate his tenderness like they used to. “i know,” they whisper back to him. they smile up at him, though it is now weak and shaky. “... your hair is green.”
his brows knit together in confusion, but they brush back a few stray strands and smile at the feel of it in their palm. “... i’ve never seen a dandelion, you know. but my yéyé says that dandelions are green. i don’t know if it’s this shade of green but…” you close your eyes and chuckle. “it’s nice to know that i have my own dandelion right in front of me.”
“...?!”
“my dandelion… i have a wish to make,” you mumble to him. alatus closes in, ready to serve you your heart’s deepest desires.
“anything… anything you want, [your name], i’ll make it come true. so…!”
“smile for me, will you?” you peer up at him, watching confusion take over his delicate yet rough features. “you always look so sad. as my dearest friend…
“my only wish is that i see you smile. even if it’s just once.”
the adeptus returns the next day, milk and bread on a tray once more. they are wasted on the floor.
a corpse smiles from the shadows of the cell.
he thinks back to the wish he couldn’t fulfill yesterday. try as he might, it’s hard to stretch his lips into a genuine smile.
maybe it’s because he’s collapsed on the ground, yelling in pain as his whole world blissfully sleeps in the corner.
maybe it’s because whenever he tries to smile, it doesn’t feel right.
not when there’s no one to smile for anymore.
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the end is nowhere in sight, yet rex lapis keeps pushing forward.
alatus’ spear plunges into the guts of the demons, spurting black blood over his lithe body as he pulls it out. around him, his fellow yakshas are also hard at work. bosacius tears bodies apart with his four bare hands, splattering more blood and leaving a gruesome sight behind. menogias clicks his tongue and furrows his eyes at the electro yaksha in disapproval.
“can’t you be a bit more graceful, bosacius?” he steps out of the way as bonanus and indarias team up to fling a particularly mighty foe across his way. “these corpses are dismal to look at!”
bosacius laughs boisterously, hoisting an enemy up in the air and cracking their skull on a rock in one fell swoop. “i can’t be bothered, brother! this is the way bosacius fights! with bare hands and strength! corpses are not meant to be looked at anyway!” crack. crack. the gruesome sounds of his fighting are lost in the sounds of war around them.
with a clever twist of his body, alatus sends a corpse to the four-handed idiot to which he skillfully catches without even sparing a glance. “less talking, more fighting,” he says ever so curtly. “rex lapis requires our immediate assistance. do not dally.”
bosacius and menogias send each other a knowing glance, quite familiar with alatus’ undying loyalty to their senior adeptus. the fighting continues and alatus continues to let himself get lost in the chaos, never minding the mysterious ache that binds his chest tighter and tighter with every demon purged. when the battle is won, no one celebrates. it’s hard to, when you feel the blood of the thousands you have massacred drying on your skin. alatus approaches rex lapis, his toned back shadowed by the rising sun as he overlooks the aftermath of the war.
“you’ve fought well, alatus,” rex lapis’ deep voice acknowledges him, brown eyes still steady on the horizon. “you do well to keep the contract.”
“i do not need a contract to serve you, rex lapis,” alatus starts humbly, lowering his gaze in respect. “i owe you my freedom and life.”
“you say that, yet i now have you enslaved to kill for another cause. to me, there is no difference.” rex lapis casts a glace on his most loyal follower. “yet you say that i have given you freedom.”
alatus takes note of the dry bitterness underneath rex lapis’ otherwise gravel tone. “i have signed the contract of my own free will,” he professes, daring to gaze his golden eyes into his lord’s similar ones. “you need not worry about me, my lord.”
rex lapis chuckles, before beckoning alatus to his side. “look at her harsh winds and cold peaks,” the senior adeptus muses. “our nation is blessed with vast plains and tall mountains, but our neighbors shoulder the bitter cold while fighting their side of the archon war.”
“indeed,” alatus could only say. “but your victory is sure now, my lord. soon you will rebuild liyue to glory once you’ve taken the seat of the seven.”
“mmm, yes,” rex lapis hums. “the war nears its end. seven victors from different nations, including bitter and wintry mondstadt. i wonder what sort of archon will rise from mondstadt. our borders are joined together— while violetgrass root themselves on the stony sides of our mountains, their dandelions withstand harsh winds even as their seeds threaten to fly. perhaps their new archon can give them a home where they can grow unbothered, while i build our citizens to be as resilient as a violetgrass.”
… dandelions…
“apologies for the unnecessary question, my lord, but… have you seen a dandelion?”
“oh, they’re curious little things indeed. native to mondstadt. if guizhong had time, she used to walk by the borders and pluck them to make a wish.”
alatus’s breath hitches at the familiar tale. “... what did she wish for, if i would be permitted to know?”
rex lapis’ lips turn into a half-smile, hardened eyes softening at the memories of a dear friend long gone. “she wished for liyue to prosper under my rule. never used a wish on herself.”
“... huh.” the wind blows back alatus’s matted hair, revealing forlorn eyes as they gaze at the sun. “... i wonder why they all do that.”
“does this all sound familiar to you, alatus?” the younger adeptus looks up to see his lord gazing at him with a soft look. alatus shakes his head and straightens his back, taking on the stance of a soldier once again.
“no. this is not the time for me to be concerned with another nation’s trivialities.” he bows his head to the adeptus and starts to make his exit. he doesn’t know why, but a gloved hand takes one of the stray strands of hair self-consciously and turns back to rex lapis. “another question… if i may be so impudent to ask.”
“impudence is not a word to be used on you, alatus. go ahead.”
for a moment, alatus’s confused and conflicted face makes him look like the young adeptus rex lapis saved from the hands of a cruel god. now he is not a battle-hardened soldier, but a lost boy who doesn’t know what to do. “... is the shade of my hair… similar to that of a dandelion?”
the older adeptus cocks his head at the unusual question. “far from it, no.” he studies alatus’s look of disappointment as he lets go of the strand. “why do you ask?”
“... nothing, my lord.”
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moments of respite like this are rare in this current era of warfare, so soldiers cherish every single second of it. but for alatus who has only known bloodshed ever since his days at the mercy of the young god, this temporary peacefulness is a waste of time. in a camp just outside of liyue harbor, alatus and his fellowmen idle around a crackling campfire.
“you’re too fidgety, alatus-gē,” pervases laughs as he takes a bite out of his grilled ticker fish. he raises one to alatus’s face. “care for one?” when the senior adeptus scowls and turns his head away, he shrugs and scoffs it down stick and all in one gulp. “more for me then.”
“those malevolent gods continue to let their underlings rampage as we sit here and idle,” alatus frowned at the seemingly peaceful campsite of his fellow yakshas and even a few outstanding mortal warriors. “we should be making plans and calling reinforcements. the war will not end unless we bring that monster down to its watery grave.”
“oh my,” comes a motherly sigh. a young woman with silvery gray hair smiles slyly at alatus. her slender figure stretches across the log serving as a seat in front of the campfire, the cleansing bell tinkling delicately at her side. “you youngsters are quite eager to get into danger these days. not everyone has the energy to keep battling, you know? why i—” she sighs mournfully, pressing her fingers to a supple cheek “— even i need my beauty sleep. charging into the fray daily with no rest is just too much!”
“ping,” he addresses the newcomer. “i see that you are as vain as ever. if you’re not willing to put your all into this war, why did you even enter the contract?”
“i am upholding my end of the contract,” huffs ping. “but only within reason! you’re the one who’s out of reason.” she waves him off with her hand, shooing him off like a stray dog. “take a walk or something. call it a night patrol to ease yourself. i’m afraid your scowl is going to affect me and give me wrinkles.”
alatus takes a good moment to ponder the suggestion before he feels ping’s eyes narrowing at him threateningly. with a deep sigh, he takes his spear with him and teleports himself to a quiet walkway some ways off the guili assembly. war had touched this side of liyue too, it seemed, with swords rusted with blood plunged to the ground and tattered kerchiefs belonging to soldiers waving solemnly in the air. alatus knows this place to once been the safe haven of rex lapis and the late guizhong’s people before the war took the sweet goddess’ life and perished her to dust. now it is mere ruins, a reminder of the evil deities are willing to commit for power.
alatus has years of battle experience under his belt, but it doesn’t make the feeling any better as he stares at these relics. he focuses his gaze on the moon and walks by.
… rumble rumble…
a weathering wall shakes just a few steps away, alerting alatus’s senses. he quickly arms his spear as he vigilantly approaches the spot. the place is teeming with ruin guards and other dangerous mechanisms and although mindless machines are no match for him, alatus is not one to underestimate an opponent. when he peeks around the corner, it is not the eerie glowing eye of a machine but a pair of eyes about to glaze over.
covered in soot and dirt, a raspy voice tries to speak out, “w… wa… ter…”
alatus blinks in surprise when he finds a human instead but quickly teleports somewhere to get drinkable water. in a moment, he appears again in front of them and swiftly tips the saucer into their mouth. gently lifting their head, he watches as they desperately glug down the water. some of it spills from the sides, but the light in their eyes quickly revives until they pull away with a gasp.
“ugh… ha! i thought i was a goner there!”
alatus freezes.
two shining [eye color] eyes peer up at him gratefully as a wide grin spreads across their face.
“thanks a lot, mister adeptus.”
they are escorted into liyue harbor. alatus does not talk to them or even spare them a glance, afraid of whatever feelings that may arise should he do so. he’s aware of the curious glance they send his way, scrutinizing his every inch. he doesn’t like how they stare at him with awe and absolute trust. this is an era of warring gods, where adepti like him dig into flesh and blood to pursue their ambition. fools who cling to whoever feeds them die easily.
they continue staring. it feels like fire as his guilt and memories long pushed away pour from his heart and threaten to consume him whole. his steps feel heavier, as if any second now and the earth will cave in and send him straight to hell. unconsciously, his eyes glance back to them and they… smile.
it hurts.
flashes of a corpse long gone come back to him and he tears his eyes away. he shakes this haunting feeling away, yet their stare that bears the weight of decades' guilt continues to burden him all the way to camp.
"ping," he says gruffly, catching the attention of the group. everyone's a bit startled at the arrival of a newcomer, a dusty and malnourished one at that, but even more so that alatus decided to trek uphill instead of just conveniently teleporting himself. "take care of this one," is all he curtly says before plopping down underneath a tree and closing his eyes.
ping huffs in disdain and gives him a dirty look, but quickly changes it to give the newcomer a warm smile. “come now, sweetie,” she coos, placing a comforting palm on the small of their back and escorting them to the bonfire. “you’re positively shivering! it makes sense, given that that yaksha’s always so cold.” at this alatus grunts, but she doesn’t pay him any mind. “here’s some soup and a blanket to cover you with. my gosh, you’re so dirty! what have you been doing? playing around in the mud?”
you eagerly take her up on her offer, and soon you’re swaddled in a thick blanket and bowl of carrot soup to enjoy in front of the fire. “i was actually studying some of the leftover ruins at the assembly. i thought that maybe i could get some useful things and use them for myself.”
ping gasps dramatically at your story– a young adult scrapping for leftovers in the middle of the war– and alatus rolls his eyes. “poor, poor thing!” she cries and draws you in for a hug. “don’t worry. here at morax’s camp, you won’t have to suffer through that anymore! you’ll be cared for until we can find a suitable place for you and the other survivors to live!”
you laugh. “i think you have the wrong impression, ms. adeptus, i’ve had it pretty easy compared to others during this war. what i’ve been scrapping are materials!”
ping cocks her head, and alatus even peeks out from the tree he’s hiding behind. “materials, darling?”
“yes! screws, tree bark, metal, you name it. i’m finding them so i can continue making my gadgets.” you fish into your bag, and they can hear the clanking of metal and other stuff as you sift through the mess. “ah, here it is, one of my favorites!” you pull out a curious box, the cuhui wood engraved with liyuean details. you gently snap the box open and reveal a little figurine made out of precious stone, frozen in an elegant twirl reminiscent of liyue’s traditional dances. you begin to crank the little knob at its side, and when you release it a pleasant tinkling of sounds fills the night air.
ping stares wide-eyed at the pretty treasure, listening to its sounds with a fond look on her face. even pervasive hums as he gnaws on his nth fish, his scratchy voice humming along with the old lullaby. other nearby campers close their eyes and let their minds wander for a while, to a place where lullabies such as this sang all day and wars didn’t raze grass and civilians to the ground. for a moment, they let themselves be deluded into a moment of peace.
when the tinkling fades away, only the crackling of the fire remains. “pretty, isn’t it?” it takes ping a moment to snap out of her trance before nodding enthusiastically.
“quite! oh, if it didn’t look so perfect slotted between your hands, i might have snatched it for myself! although,” she nervously chuckles, feeling the stern gaze of the silent adeptus lounging behind the tree. “i might not have the chance anyway. a certain someone has been glaring at me ever since i conceived the thought.”
“maybe he wants it for himself?” pervases jokes. “he could do with it, what with all that stress.”
“hmph, i’ve no need for such trivial things.” he goes back to resting against the trunk without another word.
ping sighs and shakes her head at you, like a disappointed mother. “he’s always like that,” she laments. “he’s morax’s most faithful servant, i’ll tell you that, but sometimes it makes me wonder what will happen after this war is over. surely he won’t be going around slaughtering monsters?!” she raises her hand to her mouth like the thought was too unforgivable.
pervases hummed, thinking hard and long about how his senior would act in a time of peace. “hmm… i think alatus-ge would like to fish. he seems like the type.”
the image of the bloody general fishing floats above your three heads. ping waves it away. “as if!” she scoffs. “he’d just spear the fish and be done with it!”
“what kind of person do you think alatus-ge is…?”
“alatus, alatus!”
something twists at his gut, a mix of anticipation and dread, but he stops in his tracks to wait for you. you catch your breath beside him. “you’re so fast for someone so short!” you complain. “how do you do it?”
“slowness isn’t an option on the battlefield,” alatus curtly says before turning to assess. you’re covered head to toe in dirt, and your fingers are covered in grime like you’ve been digging. he sighs and rubs a speck of dirt from your cheek. “another one of your foraging hunts? you can always tell me if you need something. it’s too dangerous outside the camp.”
“i used to tell you, didn’t i?” you pout. “but you can’t tell the difference between a cork and a screw!”
alatus blushes. he can’t really wrap his head around these machineries. whenever you and cloud retainer got into one of your excited conversations about tinkering and machinery, alatus could only pretend like everything you just said didn’t make his head spin. if you got into another of your rants about the intricacies of machines or whatever, everything you said went into one ear and out the other.
“but you still listen, don’t you?” ping and pervases teased him with knowing grins. he had hit them over the head after that.
“... tus! alatus! ugh, you’re not listening again!” you had gotten into a lecture of the differences between corks and screws, but now you shake him by the shoulder with furrowed brows. “you’re always like this. is machinery really too hard for you?”
“everyone has their strengths.” he ruffles your hair, smiling softly when you visibly relax. “you wouldn’t want me to tell you about how to efficiently kill geovishaps, do you?” when you make a face, he laughs slightly. “thought so.”
“they just… ugh. they just smell so bad!”
“... they smell like rocks.”
as the two of you finish the rest of his patrol, alatus doesn’t miss a moment to watch your every movement. here, under the red rays of dusk, you look so alive. your cheeks could be healthier, but alatus is comforted with the knowledge that you stuffed yourself full this morning. your eyes have a twinkle in them, not the last sparks of ember that you had tried to hold on for so long. and you smile… because you want to. not because you had to. not because you had to comfort your fellow friend in prison.
“looks like we’ve walked too far,” alatus comments, sighting the dandelions swaying in the distance. “we should head back to camp before it gets too dark.”
“oooh, dandelions,” you muse. you and alatus stand side by side, taking in the dandelions swaying in their pastel heads swaying in the wind. “i heard they were pretty, but seeing them in person is better.”
standing by your side, alatus takes in your countenance. there is an indistinguishable look in your eyes as you watch their seeded heads bob and sway, your smile somewhere between content and forlorn. the setting sun paints your face with an orange hue, only serving to make you look as if you’ve come out of an oil painting itself. alatus’s breath hitches and he tears his eyes away from you.
self-consciously, he rubs a teal strand of his hair before tucking it back. “do… does my hair…” you turn your gaze to him questioningly, and his pale face burns at the embarrassing predicament he’s put himself in. “does my hair look like the dandelions?”
you stare at him for quite some time, only blinking and not saying anything, before you tilt your head back and laugh. alatus’s face only reddens further and he hits you with his elbow in his embarrassment. you only continue to laugh, even as alatus is beginning to throttle you and beg you to pay no heed to his words. when you’re done laughing, alatus huffs at you and refuses to look at you.
“oh, you… silly adeptus, i would have mistaken you for a pure-hearted maiden there!” you giggle into your hand, and alatus’s brows knit themselves in huffiness as you continue to tease him. “come on, you have eyes. they’re not even close in color!”
he kicks you lightly in the shin, before turning around and walking off to the distance. “come on. let’s head to camp before night,” he says as if nothing’s happened. you stare at his back for a while, a teasing smile on your face, before shaking it off and hurrying to catch up to him. when you catch up to him, you leap at him with your arms around his neck, ruffling his hair with a bright smile on your face.
“don’t be too grumpy, alatus!” you laugh, even as he sends you a look of frustration. “once this is all over, we’ll come back to this place and make wishes on those dandelions!”
“don’t forget about me, mister servant,” you lightly laugh behind your bars. “bring me lots of food, okay? then once you get me outta here, we’ll have a big ol’ feast at my yéyé’s.”
one of the guards tug at alatus’s shackles but he clings to your cell even as they grunt and pull. “[your name], i’m not leaving you! i can’t! i won’t!”
you chuckle. “stupid mister adeptus. who’s going to swipe cake for me then? now go, shoo.” you wave him away, smiling weakly. “i know you’ll come back for me. you always will.”
you’ve always had a knack for being the unluckiest person alive. even if your smile was so bright that it seemed to ward off evil, tragedy always seemed to tightly coil around your neck like a noose. he wanted to be the one to cut it off, in both the last life and this.
once again, he always seemed to be too late.
“they’ve broken through the formation!” indarias yells, slamming a fiery fist through her enemies. the pyro-blessed yaksha, usually so playful and coy, looks at her comrades with panic. “there’s no one left at the camp to defend them anymore. they’re— they’re all—!” she swallows down the bitter reality, pervases and her other comrades’ gored bodies flashing through her mind. “the civilians can’t defend themselves from all those monsters!”
“shit.” menogias slices through a foe and turns to their youngest, standing atop a pile of bloodied corpses. karmic debt wraps him and the other yakshas like a dense fog, and it gets harder to breathe with every passing second. still, he calls out to him.
“alatus—!”
the young yaksha only spares him a golden glance, before slipping the bloodied mask on. “you don’t have to tell me twice.” and he disappears into the air.
you are not there when he reappears at the camp. no one is. everything is on fire, and he can barely see what’s in front of him thanks to all the smoke and ashes polluting the air. he hisses at the burning in his lungs, but he perseveres forward as he strains his ears for any signs of life. the faint clashing of weapons and maniacal laughter is far away, but they grow stronger as he continues.
he steps on something… fleshy. growing dread rises within him as he slowly looks down.
that… is a severed hand.
biting his tongue, he rushes forward through the sea of flames. more and more decapitated limbs and bodies litter the area. arms, legs, torsos, feet… the handiwork of psychopaths, no doubt. because an ordinary soldier would not do this. not to civilians. not to people who could not defend themselves. he sees no face to mourn for. he sees no head to remember.
roars of laughter peal through the air as he braves a wall of fire. as the sky is dyed red with both fire and dawn, alatus’ face pales when he sees the enemies marching around as they shout triumphantly into the chaos.
your head, beautiful as he had always remembered, parades past him on a wooden stake.
when karmic debt takes over, he doesn’t remember anything the next morning when he sobs and cradles your sleeping face, surrounded by the bodies of foes and allies alike.
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in your next life, you are both strangers. he looks high and low for you in liyue, but he does not find you.
celestia orders the seven archons to launch an attack on khaenri’ah, and alatus and whoever is left of the adepti is ordered by rex lapis to stand by in liyue and eliminate any escaped khaenri’ahns. although he has nothing against them, he is more than happy to follow his lord’s commands, because he has nothing else left to do but do his duty.
surely enough, the khaenri’ahns have found some escape route that leads up to liyue. unfortunately for them, alatus and the others are there to massacre them without hesitation.
in one of the escapees, his eyes widen behind his mask as he meets your scared eyes. in this life, they have diamonds in them, and they stare back at him with fear and unfamiliarity rather than mischief and friendliness. he thinks you still look beautiful.
even as he drives a spear through your chest.
when the massacre is finished, he tries to find your body. but there are too many of you, bodies upon bodies and the stench of death heavy in the air. he cannot find you, his pearl, in this bloody sea of corpses.
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years have passed, and he has not seen you since.
well, that would be a bit false. he does see you, but not… you. he does not walk with you in flower fields to admire your face bathed in sunlight nor does he watch you rummage through ruins for scraps of metal and machines. he does not idly chat with you behind bars to pass the time away nor does he help soft bread to your chapped lips as he comforts you with promises of your freedom and your yéyé.
he sees an image of you, the hallucination that his karmic debt has conjured for him in his nightmares. you smile at him ever so sweetly, joining him in his bed at wangshu inn. you’re always so pure and pretty in your nightdress when you sidle up to him to share in his warmth. but when you lean over to press a kiss to his cheek, alatus’ eyes shoot wide open as he feels your hand wrap around his neck and squeeze. he should fight, he could fight, but how could he? your face is twisted in hatred and disappointment, whispering to him about his betrayal and failure to save you. ‘you killed me, you left me, you fed me to the dogs.’
how could he fight back, when all you have said is the truth?
and so alatus, now named xiao, wakes up for another day drenched in his sweat and tears.
he is patrolling guili plains when he spots a familiar head of gold and the tinier head of white walking idly through the grasses. it’s not unusual for aether and paimon to be here, but they’ve thoroughly explored and exhausted this area of any treasures, and last he heard they were in fontaine. he hides away in a tree, observing their usual back and forth as they seem to wait for someone.
“like i’m saying, they’re an hour late!” paimon fumes, stomping the air as she throws a tantrum. “what if someone happened to them? oooh, paimon knew we should’ve picked them up from mondstadt! they’re always so clumsy!”
“oh, don’t get your crown in a twist, paimon,” aether says, nonchalant as ever. he glances towards xiao’s way and hums to himself, as if partaking in a fun little secret (he’s always been so perceptive, xiao muses), and takes a bite out of his sunsettia. “geniuses like [your name] are always like that. losing track of time, getting caught up in some curious thing they encountered on their way… they’ll be here soon, promise.” he hands out his half-eaten sunsettia to paimon. “sunsettia?”
“ew, gross! don’t hand paimon your leftovers!”
xiao perks at the familiar name, opening one eye as he lazily ruminates the familiar syllables in his head. [your name], [your name], [your name]... like he could ever forget that. he whispers it in his sleep, prays to your hallucination like a god, screams it every morning… [your name], [your name], [your name]... he watches aether finish his sunsettia and sighs to himself. he shouldn’t be silly. numerous people with your name have appeared in liyue ever since he’s last seen you, and not one of them was you. he shouldn’t get his hopes up.
“— iiii’mmm! so, so sorry!” a sobbed yelp breaks the peace of the plains from the distance. a hefty backpack overshadows the figure carrying it, running as fast as they can with the weight on them. they skid to a stop in front of the traveler and paimon, who greets the newcomer with an amused smile and a huffy face. the backpack ungracefully lands on the grass with a loud clang, and its owner falls alongside it as they try to catch their breath. “i’m so— huff— sorry! i was— hah— on my way here when i— huff— came across a travelling merchant. they had all these goods from fontaine and i— hah— couldn’t resist!”
paimon once again stomps the air. “well, you should try to be more mindful from now on! it’s rude!”
“i’m so~ory,” the eccentric figure whines pitifully. they rummage through their bag and pull out a pretty tin box, the kind used to store cookies. “forgive me, paimon?” in the usual paimon fashion, her eyes twinkle upon seeing the pretty sugar cookies stored inside, and upon the first bite all is finally forgiven.
“hm, is it just me or is someone watching us…?” they wonder, looking around the guili plains for any signs of life. “i feel this, uh, weird pressure. or am i just delusional…?”
when they turn, xiao catches their eyes through the canopy of leaves on the tree he’s occupying. his breath hitches, his eyes widen, and the world seems to halt to a stop.
you unknowingly lock eyes with the adeptus, cocking your head as you try to find the stranger peeking on your little group.
you blink when the pressure is finally gone, and you look back at the highly perceptive traveler in confusion. he only regards you with a small smile and shrugs.
“you’re awfully interested in the engineer, don’t you think?” aether playfully muses as he walks in on one of xiao’s rare times of relaxation. he lounges on wangshu inn’s balcony as he overlooks the scenery beneath him, almond tofu in hand. “why don’t you greet them for yourself then?”
xiao doesn’t spare him a glance as he brings a spoon of the silken food to his mouth. “unnecessary.”
aether rolls his eyes, taking the spot next to xiao as he studies the adeptus with a smile. “don’t be like that, you introvert. you’re always following us around while they go study liyue’s machines. i’m sure zhongli would be pleased to know that you have friends outside of us and the other adepti.” xiao scowls when aether uses his lord as a guilt trip, but doesn’t comment any further. “[your name]’s a wonderful person, if not a bit ditzy at times. i think they and cloud retainer would get aloong quite well if they ever met each other.”
he thinks back to your second life, where you chattered the night away with the crane adeptus about machinery and the like. bathed in the glow of the campfire, alatus would only dare observe from a distance as you talked passionately with stars in your eyes. aether observes as xiao’s eyes soften. “they did.”
the traveller huffs a laugh, slumping his cheek against the wooden railing as he looks out to the scenery too. “reincarnation, huh? there were things like that in other worlds as well.”
he’d never admit it, but he had always been pleased by the fact that aether had the shared experience of living for eras, if not longer. the other adepti were never close to humans, but aether and his sister had always walked alongside mortals in order to observe their stories. xiao lets the wind graze his cheek. “... did you ever have someone you wanted as well?”
“i made many friends but…” aether quirks a small smile, tapping his fingers on the wood lightly. “my sister was really all i needed.” he notes the hidden pain in his voice. “we’ve traversed many worlds together, and we will always have eternity together. but you don’t have someone like that.”
golden eyes meet golden, and xiao shudders at the sly look that aether gives him.
“well, unless you do something to change that.”
‘damn you, aether.’ the traveller’s always been sort of a bastard hiding behind gentle manners and a pretty smile, but he never thought that he’d stoop so low as to awaken the dark feelings that he’s kept repressed for so long. ‘sly dog.’ he makes a mental note to not react when aether calls for him next as some sort of petty revenge.
today, you are alone. your backpack is lighter, thankfully, otherwise you would not be able to travel through the huaguang stone forest’s cliffs and falls. he’s joined you on this journey since you started a few days back, but he continues to grow with paranoia every time he sees you walk too close to the edge. he’s also saved you a few times, summoning wind to stabilize a shaky glide or carrying you further away from the edge when you started rolling in your sleep.
his heart twists when he settles you back in your sleeping bag. he takes in your sleeping face, murmuring nonsense in your sleep, and the sides of his lips tug into an unconscious smile. you’ve always had that habit in the lives that he’s known you in, and he pushes aside the strands of hair to take a clearer look at your face. when the babbling subsides, your dopey grin relaxes itself, and the heartaches begin once again. so many times he’s watched over you like this, but the last time he had was… was when you were…
your face, peaceful and oblivious, overlaps to a bloody, dismembered one. xiao inhales sharply and shakes the image out of his head.
he starts with your cheek, caressing it softly with his calloused fingers as he revels in your warmth. they trace every feature— your fluttering eyelids, the in-betweens of your eyes, your twitching nose— until his thumb presses on your lip. this was not a luxury he could afford back then, but now, now.
‘i can protect you in this world.’ he thinks. his lips brush against yours, but he does not lean in further.
‘all my past transgressions, i will make it up to you.’
you smile in your sleep peacefully, just as you did... so many years ago.
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you appear in xiao’s dream once more.
it starts off the same as always. you are draped in fine liyue silk, batting those innocent eyes at him as you call him to your shared bed. he knows what will happen next, having relieved this for centuries on end. you will crawl upon him, you will wrap those hands around his neck, and you will admonish him. xiao stares at the alluring image of you and does not budge from the foot of the bed.
“[your name], come to me.” your image cocks its head in confusion, but you follow anyway. now that he’s met the real you, he can clearly see the difference. your hair isn’t that shade, your eyes are much too wide and— ah, his image of you has slowly been creeping away from his mind after years of separation. the thought of it twists his heart.
he watches you crawl over to him, tempting and innocent like a newly wed bride. you sit on your knees dutifully, awaiting his next command. he reaches out, strokes your hair— it’s not as soft as this in real life— and smiles darkly.
“i love you, [your name].”
you smile. “i know.”
“i always have. even after all these years.”
“i know.”
your eyes held so much light and passion than this blank-minded image of you. he inhales. “i’ll miss you.”
you furrow your brows, frowning in confusion at the sudden confession. “alatus, what are you talking about—?!”
xiao’s face is unmoving as he watches you choke on your blood, staring up at him wide-eyed as your hands shakily reach up to the spear embedded through your chest. “a– la– tus…?” he does not respond to your weak call, yellow eyes dull as you bloody his spear and heave with every gasp. “wh– how could…?”
“i’ve met you, [your name],” he whispers. he thumbs away the blood trickling from your lips. he breathes in slowly, knocking his head against yours. your image stares at him in betrayal and fear. “in this life, i’ve finally met you.” he feels your image dissipating and he brings you in closer. “finally. after all these years.”
“a… la… tus…”
“this time. this life. i promise you.” he entangles your bloody hand in his and presses a kiss to it. “we will finally be together.”
“no matter what.”
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storiesoflilies · 1 month ago
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in your peach blush dreams
synopsis : in which sukuna unexpectedly stumbles upon something – or rather, someone – he almost never believed could exist. w.c: 2.7k.
pairing : soulmate!florist!sukuna x f!reader
warnings : FLUFF! non curse au. adorably grumpy sukuna who only pretends he doesn’t believe in love or soulmates.
a/n : based on this request. hope you enjoy nonie!! @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat @gothsuguru @bungalowbear @hiraethwrote , i hope you love your cameos <3
divider / ao3
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ryomen sukuna was a skeptic.
point. cut. blank.
anybody who knew him knew it well.
he didn’t believe in ghosts, poltergeists, or any of the things that cry and go bump in the night. there was always a logical explanation for everything and anything that happened outside the realm of normalcy. the world was ruled by physics and chemistry and numbers, and even though he was a florist, sukuna understood and wholeheartedly accepted the beauty of science.
however, there was one teeny, tiny thing that completely – and rather rudely – disregarded all of his beliefs.
and it was only a little dream.
one that he had been having since he was old enough to remember things.
sukuna couldn’t remember if there were before this particular one started, or even if any occurred after it. but he always remembered how he knew it was coming – the way his stomach would churn and lurch, like he was being catapulted from a cannon, free-falling through a black expanse of space and time and stars.
and then, sukuna would land face-first into a field of marshmallow-soft petals, bathed in the light of a pink sunrise.
at first, he didn’t know what sort of flowers had cushioned his fall. it took him quite a number years to even attempt sketching them, using a cheap set of coloring pencils he’d bought with his pocket money. and even, not a single person he showed his scratchings to had any clue at all.
it frustrated him to no end.
sukuna would always end up crumpling his drawings in his little fists and hurling them straight into the bin.
and try again.
and again.
it wasn’t until he was sixteen that he finally found the answer he had been looking for.
sukuna had just gotten a job working part-time at a flower shop after school. at first, the thought of being there was beyond humiliating. his twin brother had relentlessly teased him about it when he found out, which quickly resulted in a flurry of knuckles and fists.
he arrived to his first shift with a sour look and a black eye.
io, the shop owner at the time, gave him a humorous look with soft, chocolate eyes and taught him how to speak the language that only flowers knew. how to listen to the soft poetry held within the curl of their leaves and petals, telling you everything they needed to bloom.
in time, sukuna learned to enjoy it.
but he would never admit it to anyone.
one day, the shop received a rather large delivery of frighteningly familiar baby pink flowers. sukuna froze, his hands slippery and wet from the water droplets falling from the stems.
“what are those?” he’d gritted out, disbelief coated on his cracked lips.
io took one glance at the flowers in his grip, and answered, “oh, they’re zinnia flowers.”
zinnia flowers.
he whispered under his breath, testing how the letters rolled over and under his tongue.
after all this time, the answer to the mystery flower was finally in his palm, and sukuna couldn’t decide whether or not he felt relieved or disturbed about it.
all he could muster in response was, “right.”
io stared at him, and a young sukuna felt himself shrink a little under her gaze, his cheeks blossoming a brilliant red shade like the david austin roses beside him. he pretended to ignore her, distracting himself by placing bunches of flowers into water buckets and slowly, meticulously, arranging every single stem beautifully in the display window.
sukuna hated every second of it.
he felt like every single pink petal on those flowers were mocking him, laughing at him for being so wound up over them.
it was so unbelievably pathetic.
he’d never felt more like a loser in his whole life.
because despite all his beliefs about the supernatural and a higher power, he couldn’t hate those flowers even if he tried to, not really.
because they were hers.
the other person already sitting there in his dreams in an endless field of zinnia blooms.
she wouldn’t notice him straight away, even though sukuna crash-landed in a heap just beside her leg. she was too busy staring up at the clouds painted in strokes and swirls of blushing pink, with the sun bleeding in tones of vibrant peach. all he could notice was how her lips were parted in wonder as she took everything in around her with a wondrous energy.
it was only when he pushed himself up to sit beside her that she finally noticed him.
and laughed.
and it was the most beautiful thing sukuna had ever heard in his life.
it was joyously infectious, and he couldn’t help his own laughter from bubbling up from deep within his chest like a volcano. they laughed together for what seemed like hours, the limits of time stretching on forever in the land of dreams, and sukuna felt the angry fire in his soul simmer just a little.
and he would become sad.
because he knew this was when the dream would always end.
he’d open his bloodstained eyes to the dreadfully familiar, dull white ceiling that belonged to his bedroom, and sukuna would know he was back at square one all over again.
feeling alone.
so unbearably alone.
because the dream would still linger in those precious few minutes after he woke up, a ghost hovering over a gray sea. sukuna could feel the other half of his soul slipping away to wherever she belonged to in this vast world, and he would selfishly claw for her, begging and screaming in his mind.
don’t go! don’t go! don’t go!
sukuna wasn’t stupid; he knew she couldn’t stay, but that didn’t stop a bitter taste from spreading over his tongue like a drop of lemon juice.
it twisted him inside, and he hated the universe for making him yearn so deeply for someone he had never even met.
and might never.
it didn’t take long for io to catch on. she was always acutely aware of people, and to be known by her was to always be seen and understood.
“they scare you, don’t they?” io murmured to him gently, too gently for sukuna’s liking. “the zinnias.”
he snorted dismissively, cutting perfect forty-five degree angles into the stems of snow peonies. “i am not afraid of a fucking flower, io.”
she arched a brow, unimpressed. “no?”
“no.”
“are you sure?”
sukuna huffed and rolled his eyes, adding tufts of baby’s breath to the bouquet he was assembling. io leaned over the birch countertop, her wrists adorned with various pink ribbons and a playful twinkle in her eyes.
“i know what it is,” she said in a sing-song voice, drumming her nails against the wood.
he ignored her again, a blooming pink starting to grace the tips of his ears, and busied himself wrapping a brown piece of paper around his finished piece.
“what?”
she didn’t answer, cryptically singing about knowing things and of a man she would know one day come to know, with hair as white as the peonies in sukuna’s bouquet and eyes brighter than bluebells. it was only five years to the day, when io married that very man she had been singing about, that he realized she had known all along what had been on his mind.
and now, at the tender age of twenty-one, ryomen sukuna wondered when it would be his turn to love.
and be loved in return.
❀᭢᜴꤬
when she was a child, she used to love drawing.
and the thing she loved to draw most was him.
the boy she saw in her dreams. they weren’t very good drawings – just two stick figures holding each other’s circles for hands, one with bright fuchsia hair because that was the closest color she had in her pencil kit. they would be standing in a field of flowers too, though the blooms were just colorful blobs scattered around their stick feet.
“not it!” she’d exclaim, pouting pitifully. “not what he looks like!”
her two best friends, kairo and ari, shuffled through their pencil cases, offering her shade after shade of pink pencils, but she shook her head at them each time. after a while, she would start to wail, despair clutching her little heart in its claws. her friends would put their arms around her, offering her all the trinkets and sweets they had in their pockets, just to see her smile again.
but they couldn’t understand how she really felt, how lonely she was sometimes, because they had already completed their souls.
ari had their kenjaku – their kenny.
and kairo had her suguru.
they had found their souls at such a young age and would never know just how much of the rest of the world felt for most, if not all, of their lives. they always had someone to watch over them. even now, the two twin boys were staring at them, gauging whether they would also burst into tears alongside her, ready to step in and make them smile again.
that was all she wanted, really.
for the pink-haired boy in her dreams to make her smile when she needed it.
as she grew that little bit older, her dream became more vivid. she could remember more details – how the sky was aflame in peach and coral, the sweet smell of the flowers beneath her, and how her boy would land next to her. she could even feel how much it was him that needed to smile.
so she laughed.
and laughed and laughed until he did too.
she wished she could stay there in that dream with him and make him laugh forever.
but she couldn’t do that.
in his sadness, there was strength too – something unyielding, strong enough to bring mountains to their knees. it told her to stay strong, to be like him, to keep her chin up and tell the world that she would live.
so she did.
she went on with her life, making sure to laugh often and well.
she grew up witnessing and being surrounded by love. high school and university presented their own challenges, filled with late-night cramming sessions and caffeine-induced hazes. she watched more and more of the friends find their souls, pairing off in effortless harmony while she lingered on in the stardust of their love.
but she still continued to live.
still kept an eye out for a particular head of pink hair wherever she went.
and now that she was done school, entering the big, bad world of work, her heart longed all the more for the boy from her dreams – who no longer looked like a boy at all.
he was a beautiful man now.
with dark tattoos etched into skin, mysterious lines and circles that perhaps told the story of his life. she wanted to know all about them, if they even meant anything to him at all, and if they were a angry shield to protect himself from people getting too close.
she hoped it wasn’t.
she didn’t want to be one of those left locked out.
“you’ll find him,” jess said encouragingly to her one day, as she was lost in a daydream of pink flower fields.
jess always knew when she was there.
she hummed softly, chewing on the plain cheese sandwhich she’d brought for her lunch break.
“so,” jess began, in an effort to distract her. “any nice plans for your time off?”
“uh, yeah actually. my best friend is getting married, so i’ll be helping her out this week to get everything ready.”
“oh, that sounds really nice!”
then, nanami kento walked into the staff room, his tired eyes brightening at the sight of jess sitting there, happily munching on the lunch he had no doubt prepared for her that morning. her friend sighed wistfully, a fond smile on her face as the blonde man took a seat beside her.
suddenly, there were two and a half souls in the room.
and she couldn’t help but smile, hoping that her time was coming.
it had to be.
❀᭢᜴꤬
“hea, do we have any lilies in the back? i need them.”
sukuna took another quick glance at the behemoth of a man in front of him, who shifted from one foot to the other, his green eyes darting all around the shop.
“urgently.”
“just a sec!”
the shop was silent for a moment, with only the sound of the fan blowing and the soft snip, snip, snip of sukuna trimming zinnia stems. he looked up again at customer, raising an eyebrow at how nervous the poor man looked while waiting.
“we have these white roses here,” sukuna suggested, pointing with his scissors at a small bunch. “in case we don’t have any white lilies.”
the man shook his head. “no, no. they have to be lilies. her name is lily.”
sukuna might have once laughed, but it was the way the man said her name with a hushed sort of reverence – and the tip of a velvet box peeping out from his trousers – that he understood who she really was to him.
so sukuna didn’t laugh.
“it’s really important,” he added, dark locks sticking to his forehead, as if that alone would convince the grumpy florist.
sukuna sighed, setting down his scissors and wiping his hands on his shirt. “i’ll see what i can do for you.”
so he went to the back himself, assembling a bouquet of white lilies, adding white pampas grass for flair and eucalyptus for softness. sukuna spent quite a bit of time on it – more than he probably should have – fluffing and adjusting every petal and leaf until it was absolutely perfect.
it was worth the effort.
the man’s palpable relief was infectious, making the corner of sukuna’s lips twitch upwards.
“keep your money,” he grunted, his nose slightly turned up. “just come back here to get what you need for the wedding.”
the bell at the front door tinkled in farewell as the man left, and sukuna picked up where he left off. there was a bridal party order for tomorrow, and of course, he was in charge of creating the bride’s bouquet.
sukuna always was.
“hea!” he called out. “if you need a hand with the bridesmaids’ bouquets let me know. i’m almost done here.”
the doorbell tinkled.
but he wasn’t looking up.
“i’m good!” hea answered back, her voice faint.
sukuna clicked his tongue disapprovingly, not liking the shade of ribbon he was holding against the peach-colored zinnia in the bouquet. he dipped down behind the counter, arms stretched above him and fingers drumming on the wood as he scanned through the mess of ribbons and other decorations tucked away in small cubicles.
hmph! nothing.
sukuna pushed himself back up.
and there she was.
staring at all the shades of pretty pink zinnias that sukuna had painstakingly displayed the day before.
his heart actually stuttered.
and before he knew it, he had somehow slipped and landed face down on the ground.
“fuck!”
“oh!”
sukuna pushed himself back up, stumbling like a newborn foal, his eyes completely and utterly fixed on her while a poor zinnia lay crushed beneath his foot.
but that didn’t matter in the slightest.
because holy good god, she was looking at him too.
with her pretty lips parted in shock, and her pretty eyes wide and glossy, and her pretty hair looking exactly like it did in his – no, their – dream.
she’s here. she’s here. she’s here.
“i’m here for the bridal flowers for kairo!” she blurted out suddenly.
sukuna inhaled sharply.
what a pretty voice.
“t-that’s– ahem – not due until tomorrow,” he whispered, almost inaudibly.
her eyes widened a fraction more, if that was even possible. then, her features completely relaxed as she tipped her head back and laughed.
and laughed.
sukuna felt like he was back in his dream again.
only it was real this time – more real than anything.
he chuckled lowly, his laughter rising like helium, melding with hers in a gloriously wonderful crescendo.
and all sukuna could think of was.
finally.
i love you, i love you, i love you.
❀᭢᜴꤬
©storiesoflilies 2024, all rights reserved. please do not plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my work on other sites! i only post on ao3 and tumblr.
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clockwayswrites · 19 days ago
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Under Window and Wing
Part 1
Nightwing shook his head, purposefully scattering his thoughts. They wouldn’t do him any good, even here.
He ran his fingers over the petals of flowers and green of leaves as he walked, wishing he could feel them. But as much as the roof was part of Danny’s sanctuary, it was still a roof and exposed to the elements and dangers.
“Are you going to stay out here molesting my plants, or actually come inside?”
Nightwing looked up from the frilly pink flower he had been running his fingertips over. Back lit by the light of the small roof access stood Danny. His hands were tucked casually in the pockets of the loose lounge pants that he always seemed to be wearing. Nightwing doubted Danny owned a single pair of jeans, but he supposed there would be no need, not with Danny never leaving the building.
“I don’t know. I think the flower is really into it. It might be rude to stop now.”
“Leave my peony alone, bird boy, and get in here,” Danny said, an amused laugh underlying his words.
He leaned back against the door, making room for Nightwing to enter, but only if he brushed against Danny to do so. Not that Nightwing had any issue with that, being close to Danny was the whole point of being there on the roof.
His fingers lingered on the flower (peony, apparently) as he started towards Danny.
Moth to a flame.
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cindol · 3 months ago
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thinks about the thought of fiancé!nanami and fem reader
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౨ৎ .ᐟ .ᐣ — blurb hcs(kind of ), fluff, suggestive,
a / n — trying out a new style of gradient so let’s just pretend this post is a test run lol
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fiancé!nanami wants everything perfect for his future wife. He doesn’t care how crazy or illogical, this is your wedding he’s planning and a special day for both you and him.
fiancé!nanami doesn’t mind who gets invited to his wedding. Usually he would groan at gojo satoru being invited to things organized by him but when you give him a sympathetic look fluttering your lashes.
“I’m sure satoru’s adult enough now to get invited to a wedding baby, I sent an invitation to suguru and shoko so they’ll keep him in check.”
he sighs then looks at you and the empty letter you were gonna write to satoru. With anybody else he would say no, but you’re his woman, his childhood sweetheart.
“only for you, but I feel like just a e-mail would do instead of us doing a thousand letters to our friends baby.”
“I like the effect kento! Makes me feel old school.”
fiancé!nanami knows what his wife likes and has the florist pick only the best orchid’s and peony’s for the venue.
fiancé!nanami has a hard not peaking at your dress fitting so he stays home but always wants updates.
“kento baby, I can’t get you every detail on my dress fitting now! The tailor’s still trying to get measurements.”
“I know I know darling I just want to check up.” that’s such an excuse but it slips off his tongue naturally.
you hum into the phone tapping your nail till you answer.“tell ya what, I’ll give you a detailed description on what my groom will be expecting to see on the big day.”
“wow me.”
“satin dress, goes all the way down to my legs but hugs my curves just right.”
that description was enough for him to pause in the middle of his own sentence.
fiancé!nanami once he sees the dress at the wedding when you’re coming down the aisle with his grandfather leading you down his stotic strong straight face nearly cracks seeing you all glammed up in that long mermaid wedding dress makes him sweat. Not from nervousness but from the fact he may be getting hot seeing your body stick out the way it did in that satin white dress.
once you both kiss and say the vows you’ve promised to one another immediately wants to rush to the honeymoon and skip reception. Seeing even your backside while you’re talking shoko’s ear off while waving you hand to show her the ring on your finger got him flustered. Immediately he was grabbing your hand before you got the chance to excuse yourself from shoko.
Near a lonely wall he was giving you neck kisses making you giggle and stop him for a moment to talk.“I see somebody wanted more kisses but don’t you wanna wait baby? loads of food and I know haibara is gonna wanna talk your ear off.”
nanami didn’t wanna be rude. This was the day you waited but all he could think on is wanting to rip that dress off of you in a hotel room. Scratching the back of his head and rubbing his neck he tsked, would he wait all the time for the reception to be over or skip to the night with his beloved?
he’d rather skip.
“I mean this so much respect sweetheart, but seeing you this beautiful in your gown makes me just wanna jump ship and go to the honeymoon already.” his eyes scoped you from down to up looking at your bust to how the dress flowered down to your legs.
that already got you biting your lip. Seeing nanami in this flustered state while touching at his hair made you wanna immediately follow after him.
“You think the others will mind or care seeing me disappear off?”
“If you tell satoru he won’t give a damn, just make a slick cocky comment and make some excuse to the others.” Nanami wasnt fond on gojo but he knew how he thinks. is
fiancé!nanami is gentle with you on the honeymoon night. As thirsty as he was to just get to that hotel room with you that he specifically got the hotel to set up with champagne and rose petals he couldn’t care less about them.
Taking each arrival of clothing off of you was what he took great care of. Slowly he lifted your bridal veil showing your pretty face, eyelashes batting at him and lips all pouty. His thumb swiped near you lip making you pout.
“You’ll mess up my lipstick kento!”
“It won’t be here for long darling, I can promise that.”
fiancé!nanami treats your body like a work of art to be appreciated on this honeymoon night.He first started by neck kisses just to get you hot and bothered with more kisses in the middle of your cleavage also till you just explode.
“Just do me already kento!” saying it in a immature way but he knew exactly what you meant.
fiancé!nanami that night nanami kento made you happy a bride.
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yanderestarangel · 1 year ago
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𖤐 𝐒𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃 - 𝐕𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐄!𝐋𝐈𝐍 𝐊𝐔𝐄𝐈 + 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐊𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒
𖤐 TW: afab anatomy, dark!bi han, dark!tomas, sub!reader, headcanons, hard smut, bloodkink, master x sub, dark themes, v!sex, blowjob, praise, degradation, sex with blood, objectification, fuck aggressive, porn plot, anal sex, size kink, hard!dom bi han, hard!dom tomas vrbada, dumbification, bdsm, hunter!play.
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𖤐 𝐁𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐍 | 𝐒𝐔𝐁 𝐙𝐄𝐑𝐎
He was already a hard!dom before becoming a vampire, after that, things unfortunately escalated to levels never seen before. Bi Han felt like a god, something above everyone and especially a fragile creature like you - He will bite you, growl in sex, break you completely, until you are a mess full of his bites, bruises made by his hands even more flowers that he placed on your hips, like purple and red petals, a sign of who would always be in charge there.
The grand master will use his sharp fangs to draw your blood, while he fucks you senseless, his cock pulses even more in your spongy walls, his balls were cold and extremely heavy, with each thrust you could feel him leaving the flesh of your ass raw - and he loved every damn second of it -
Bi Han will keep you locked in his big castle now, with no freedom to leave, you are just his pretty slut now. He will stick his dick in you so many times during the day that he will make you cry and beg for more, every time he interrupts another orgasm of yours, degrading you as he puts his dick back in your overstimulated and aching pussy, the vampire loves it like your voice gets teary and loud with each point of pleasure he continues to hit.
"-Stop crying slut, just spread your legs and let me in again." Bi Han growled angrily, as he spread your thighs again, your wet hole was reddened from the hours he fucked you repeatedly and tirelessly, and he wasn't going to satisfy himself until he filled you completely, until you couldn't even remember your own name but only let his name come out between your moans, like a damned prayer or a lustful choir.
He's bigger than you, stronger, he could break you at any moment if you're not careful... And that's fucking exciting for him, the mere thought of being able to lift you through every corner of the dark stone rooms just with one of his arms, holding you like a rag doll and forcing you to look deep into his red eyes, while he tirelessly pounds your pussy, seeing the bulge that his shaft makes with each brutal entry, it's too much for him to handle, he can cum just by imagining the scene.
As a vampire, he is even more arrogant, a complete idiot, especially if it is in the context of: you are his and no one else's.
You are not allowed to even look at a lin kuei ninja or be the least bit friendly, if you do something that displeases Bi Han, he will fuck you right after a hunt, he reeked of blood, his pale skin was sweaty and dirty while his hair reflected in the light of the full moon. You would be on your knees in front of him - if he wants - for hours, he will force your throat to the limit, choking you, cruelly and deliciously impaling his cock down your throat while growling and laughing at seeing you in such a submissive and pathetic situation, worshiping his cock as if it were the only thing you knew how to do - and well, it was true - he will be there, throwing dirty words at you, mocking how you are only good for that, to satisfy him. "-I'm going to fuck you hard, make my dick slide into that pretty little pussy."
Bi Han will fuck you to the point of wanting to breed your little pussy, every day you will have at least a little of his thick seed painting your core, leaving you breathless as he watches you roll your eyes in pleasure, he will be rude, taking the his dick in a loud, erotic pop and fucking your breasts hard. "-You fucking slut, looking at this is making my dick harder" He laughed as he let out hoarse sounds, fucking your soft skin even more, the friction of your breasts was making him see the wet and slippery shaft disappear between your soft flesh. "-When I'm done here, I'm going to breed you again, until you're completely filled with my cum... like the pathetic, beautiful slut you are."
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𖤐 𝐓𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐒 𝐕𝐑𝐁𝐀𝐃𝐀 | 𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐊𝐄 
When you saw Tomas arrive that night he wasn't the same man you were dating, but a darker version. Some kind of black liquid fell from his eyes, like dense tears. The blood symbol now marked your boyfriend's pale forehead, his lips were now a darker shade - lifeless - and sharp fangs made up his teeth. However, even with the dark change, there was still some remnant of what once was your beloved.
He won't be so submissive in bed anymore, he'll hold you down and pin you to the mattress, using one of his hands to hold onto your wrists while he thrusts your holes towards his hungry gauze - his dick will be willing, taking turns between hitting your pussy and your ass, both holes - now - are being used by the vampire, you can feel the weight of his cold skin, the blood of some victim he had to make on the way home, mixing with your fluids, dripping onto the sheets that were once white."-F-Fuuck Y-Yess- you have such tight holes my love, fuck I'm going to fuck you so hard-" Vrbada moaned hoarse and loud against your back. He will cum in both of your holes, while biting deeply into your skin, the pain, pleasure and blur of the world because of the orgasms and the overstimulation he does in your pussy, his fingers rub quickly and rigidly, making you scream into the night cold.
Tomas finds you so attractive, marked by him, with deep and painful marks on your body, red and pulsing from the brutality of his bites - on your ass, thighs, back, neck and belly - He will love biting your neck, while you ride him with force, as if your life depended on it, as Vrbada cums inside you again and again, you can't even count the jets of cum that come out of his shaft, as he lifts you with his strong arms, watching your cunt drip with cum from him. "-Holy shit look at this... You are really my little pearl, my dear." Tomas will fuck you in front of all the mirrors, loving seeing the scene of his hands covered in blood staining your clean skin, your body is perfect for him, he still loves you, but he will want to destroy you, leave you a stupid mess and trembles and he knows exactly how to do it.
Tomas will hunt you through the forests, he can smell your wet pussy for him from miles away, while he quickly managed to get to where you were, tearing your clothes and fucking you on the rough and hard ground, he will fuck your pussy several times and several times, the head of his dick will hit your uterus again and again, while he held your head against the ground, subduing your mortal and fragile body, you would curl your toes so hard with each of his thrusts, taking you to the limit, that I could swear I could break them. "-That's it! Keep it up, keep sucking my dick back into that slutty pussy Mmm- You're really my breed slut, aren't you? "
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©𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 2023
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meaningofaeons · 2 years ago
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-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ emotionally unavailable
⊹ character(s) - gepard landau, jing yuan, sampo koski ⊹ word count - 3.3k ⊹ notes - gn!reader (sampo, gepard), fem!reader (jing yuan, you're referred to as 'lady'), reader is emotionally constipated or just kinda stoic as the title suggests, I guess you could say tsundere?? mostly fluff -w- ⊹ part 2 here!
sorry for the delay on new writing!! honestly I've had a bit to do around the house and the inspiration hasn't been inspiring Σ(;Φ ω Φ) if you want to send in a request, feel free! I could use some new ideas ♡(ミ ᵕ̣̣̣̣̣̣ ﻌ ᵕ̣̣̣̣̣̣ ミ)ノ thanks for the support!
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⊹ Gepard Landau
You honestly didn't have much to think about the Captain of the Silvermane Guards.
Aside from the due respect and mild admiration that just about everyone in Belobog held for him and his military group, you didn't have much else to say. The two of you had never even spoken.
The only connection you could possibly have to him was via his sister, Serval Landau. She was your friend (a tentative word for your situation, you surmise) and would often have him over at her store.
You also tended to lounge about the Neverwinter Workshop ("hanging out", Serval would call it, but you begged to differ), but you had never really paid him much mind, and you assumed he had paid you the same.
Serval's favorite nickname for you is "lounging stray" due to the way you came in and out as you pleased, staying only for food and rest when it was available.
The most you recall interacting with the imposing man was a hesitant wave when he had entered the shop while Serval was out.
After all, it would have been quite rude to completely ignore him—though, honestly, you never cared much for politeness, so you had always mulled that incident over in your head. Why had you greeted him?
About a week later, you were mildly surprised to see a bouquet of flowers in Serval's hands from Eversummer Florist.
It wasn't exactly an unusual assumption to make that the down-to-earth rock-and-roll enthusiast would have her share of admirers, but they were typically more forthcoming with their affections from what you'd observed.
But then, upon spotting you, she promptly shoved them into your arms, announcing that they had been addressed to you, not her.
You hadn't felt your face shift that much in years, nor had you ever experienced that level of shock before.
"Looks like someone has a secret admirer," Serval touted, tuning her guitar on the side with a smirk playing on her lips. Her tone was drawn out, knowing, as if this were some elaborate prank she was in on.
"Wow, Ball Peonies, even? What an expensive spread! Lucky Y/N!"
You didn't even spare her a glance as you took your usual seat in her workshop, thumbing one of the petals with mildly intrigued contemplation.
In your rush to lounge about the workshop and ignore your friend's loud teasing, you failed to notice Gepard at his sister's side, nor the way his ears turned red and he hurried to hush Serval.
"I don't get it," you murmured at last, both siblings' heads whipping over to you. "I don't talk to anyone. Except you, that is."
"Well, I didn't send them. Sorry, my little stray, but as much as I adore you, it's not in that way!"
You gave Serval an unamused raise of your brow, then huffed, mumbling a 'whatever' as you lay on the windowsill in the corner of the shop.
However, that pair of blue eyes sneakily noted that your attention was still taken with the flowers, far from your usual routine of pulling out your phone to scroll.
Eventually, you held them on your chest, deigning to stare out the window as you began drifting off into a half-conscious nap. Your rest, however, was awoken by the sound of loud whispering. Serval noticed the unimpressed look on your face and laughed, clapping her hands together before patting Gepard on the back, who looked thoroughly embarrassed. His face was bright red.
"Well, I gotta head out and run some errands! Keep Y/N company for me, huh, Geppie? They can get lonely."
You chose to ignore that last bit, raising your hand and waving at your friend who practically flew out the door.
An awkward silence settled over the room, which miffed you a bit. What did you have to feel awkward about? This had happened before with other people.
Even then, you weren't keen on breaking it. It seemed the Captain had other plans, though.
"Um..." Gepard spoke up from across the workshop, standing just a bit uncomfortably as he shifted from foot to foot. You glanced over your shoulder at him from where you lay, waiting for him to speak. "Sorry about Serval. She can be a bit much."
"I know," you replied simply, unable to meet his eye for some reason. "I'm in here a lot."
"I know," Gepard echoed. Then, his face went back to tomato-red. "Um, I mean, I see you around a lot in here whenever I visit. Not that I'm intentionally staring at you, or anything of that sort! I just notice—"
"It's okay, I got what you meant."
"Right! Right." The Captain shut himself up, thorough mortification making its way back to his face as he scratched the back of his neck. "S-Sorry, uh, for rambling."
"It's fine."
Well, this was getting painful.
You stunned yourself momentarily when you opened your mouth to speak back first.
"So, uh... How's being Captain and everything?" you murmured, almost too quiet for Gepard to hear. When he realized you had spoken first, his face brightened just a bit, though he still appeared to be fighting the humiliation off his face from his earlier verbal blunder.
"Well, how much would you like to hear about?"
You shrugged. "Anything, I guess. Got any cool stories from the front lines?"
The blonde man smiled, taking the chance to tentatively move closer, pulling over Serval's stool and taking a seat.
"Well..."
About ten minutes later, Serval had decided to spare her poor brother from any more awkwardness, completely sure that the workshop would be thick with silence due to his bashfulness and your nonchalance.
To her surprise, though, she heard muffled voices from within. Serval opened the door as carefully and quietly as she could, peeking her head in just enough to see a sight she never thought she'd see.
You were smiling, even laughing a bit, engaging in conversation about Gepard's duties and your own daily activities (even if there were little of those) from your place on the sill. Her brother seemed to be enjoying himself too, gesturing with his hands as he talked up his own underlings' achievements in battle.
The eldest Landau watched for only a moment longer before shutting the door softly.
"I should go get something to eat... give them a little space."
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⊹ Jing Yuan
You liked to call your relationship to the General of the Luofu strictly professional at most.
To call it anything more, in your mind, would be disrespect of the highest order to the man who has defended the fleet for centuries.
Besides, you didn't know if you were exactly capable of anything beyond that. Even your limited friends agreed that you were just about as stoic as one could get.
You frequently heard of their debates with other workers within the Seat of Divine Foresight even as you worked—who was more difficult to approach, you or the General himself?
You scoffed to yourself whenever your so-called "friends" argued that you were, in fact, harder to speak to.
What's so wrong with being professional? If anything, you should be telling them off for gossiping in the workplace.
Still, you couldn't exactly argue with them.
Being the right-hand of the General was enough for you to learn his mannerisms even over a short time, though now, after serving at his side for several decades, you could confidently say he was far less intimidating than everyone made him out to be.
Not that you cared, of course. Strictly professional, you told yourself. His mannerisms had nothing to do with you unless they affected work.
Even with your indifference, though, the General was being... odd lately.
Jing Yuan let out an unabashed yawn as he slumped into his chair, tugging at his hair as he polished off the last of his paperwork.
For once, you thought to yourself with a huff of amusement, going through your own papers at an impressive speed. Read, approve or deny, sign, move on.
Considering he hadn't skimped on his own work, there was no real reason for you to be giving yourself early onset carpal tunnel as you typically did, but you figured it would be best to finish the work as soon as possible anyhow.
It meant less work tomorrow, the day after, and the day after that, for not only you but the other Luofu staff as well.
"...ey."
Your brain tuned out all other noise as you moved past yet another proposal, flicking to the next page of your increasingly shrinking stack.
"Lady Y/N. Hello?"
You ignored the growling within your stomach. After this is done, you thought to yourself, I'll treat myself to a meal at home.
"Lady Y/N."
You jumped nearly ten feet out of your seat at the low voice whispering in your ear, clapping a hand over the side of your head as red-hot mortification set in. You glanced to your side to spot the culprit—none other than your General, Jing Yuan.
Had he just whispered into your ear?! The feeling of his warm breath still lingered.
"General!" you shouted, taking a deep breath as you tried to reel back your attitude and present yourself with decorum, as always. "I am working on these proposals, so if you could please refrain from pulling pranks, it would be much appreciated."
Jing Yuan gave you a wry smile, raising his hands innocently.
"Is part of your job description not answering to me?" he asked unfeignedly, golden eyes twinkling. "I called your name about ten times."
"Well, yes, but..." You raised a brow a moment later. "Surely not ten. I heard my name a total of twice."
"So you were listening." You heaved a sigh. Ever stubborn, he was. "Does that mean you were consciously ignoring me? My, the gall, Lady Y/N."
"Not at all, General," you assured. "Only absorbed in my duties. Now, do you need something of me?"
Jing Yuan tapped his chin, settling into the seat next to you and stretching out. He didn't get too comfortable, though, you discerned. Was he planning to head out for the night?
"Well, yes, I suppose I do. I'm sure you'll only listen if it's a direct order from me, after all."
"Of course, General. I am at your beck and call." He chose to ignore the edge of sarcasm in your voice as you resumed your proposals, trying to finish as many as you could before he announced his task.
"Lady Y/N, I'd be delighted if you would join me for a meal. Anywhere of your choosing, and it will be my treat."
"Right, of course. It will be done, General," you mused half-heartedly, before your froze in your tracks, hand stilling midway through a signature. "...Wh—"
"Fantastic. Then I will await you at the door," Jing Yuan smiled again, and you felt yourself welling up with exasperation at the cockiness displayed in it. "Please don't keep me waiting too long, Lady Y/N. Those proposals can always wait one more day, but I am short on time myself."
You were about ready to protest, dropping your pen as you nearly rose to your feet. Your face was hot.
"General, I—!"
"You wouldn't think of backing out after agreeing so openly, would you?" the white-haired man teased, and then, after contemplating for a moment, he held out a hand. "In fact, why don't we depart right now? Just so I can be sure you won't get absorbed in doing more advance work."
He had completely trapped you. You furrowed your brow in disbelief, and then heaved a deep, long sigh. Finally, after leaving him to stand and await your decision for just a few moments longer, you took his hand.
"Very well. But General, if I may..."
"Of course, my dear."
You flushed again, but remained steadfast in your words.
"To make up for this trickery, please do not skip out on your paperwork again."
Jing Yuan's low, rumbly laughter caused you to look away, lest your feelings show on your face. He still did not let go of your hand.
"I suppose that is only fair. You have a deal, Lady Y/N."
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⊹ Sampo Koski
You would be completely remiss to allow anyone to refer to you and Sampo as acquaintances, much less friends.
Although the two of you had grown up fairly close, he allowed you no clemency from his constant scams.
It turned into more of a game for him as time passed, though—your natural stoicism and good head on your shoulders didn't allow any of his jabs or tricks to pull through.
That was perhaps what kept him stuck like glue to your side all these years, though... The fact that you were the one person he couldn't quite swindle.
Not that he actually wanted to, anyhow.
As much as Sampo was a slimy businessman in the eyes of pretty much everyone, he didn't seek a profit from someone as close as you. Well, not unless he did you a favor first, of course, but that's basic reciprocation.
You, on the other hand, found yourself perplexed as of late.
Sure, you had known Sampo for practically your whole life, but getting close to someone or being close by birth didn't make you any less inclined to cut them off if they interfered with your life to a degree that you found to be annoying.
You enjoyed the predictable, the mundanity of your daily life working as a trainee doctor under Natasha. You didn't need anyone in your life who might throw a wrench into the ordinary you currently enjoyed.
So why was Sampo the exception?
It was a fairly typical, ordinary, boring evening when you walked into the clinic—12am sharp, just as Natasha had requested of you. You were frankly quite lucky that she didn't ask more of you, but you supposed she was already pushing her own ability to ask favors of you by requesting you watch the overnight patients while she rested.
You didn't mind, of course. You'd always been a bit of a night owl, especially with the somewhat perpetual darkness of the Underworld thanks to Belobog looming over top of you.
Not to mention, you and Sampo had always spent most of your time together in the evenings anyways, the nighttime routine well suited to both of your sleeping schedules.
You felt a twinge of annoyance shoot through you at the thought of the blue haired man, and quickly placed a hand to your forehead between bandage changings for the patient on the table.
There he was again. Sampo, Sampo, Sampo!
Though you could usually push him out of your mind without a second thought, it was beyond you why he was suddenly popping into your brain more nowadays.
Sometimes it was a mere, 'I wonder what Sampo is up to right now. Not more trouble, I hope.'
Sometimes it was something more bordering worry, and those passing thoughts irritated you the most. What did you care? If he got hurt, it would likely be justified in the wake of one of his scams.
You could rationalize those ideas with the notion of not wanting more work at the clinic should he get injured, but even that was weak. Sampo deigned to avoid Natasha for his own wounds, not wanting to burden the leader of Wildfire, likely more out of fear than actual selflessness.
Still, though—
"Heeeey, Y/N! Miss me?"
Speak of the devil, and he shall appear.
"What do you want, Koski?" Your tone was flat, not even sparing him a glance as you moved to your next patient. Changing bandages again, a simple routine that could hopefully keep your mind occupied this time.
"So cold..." You could hear the beginnings of a pout on his lips, finding yourself sighing irritably. "I came to see you, after all!"
Your hands paused for a moment, stilling. A minute tremble in his voice. You whipped your head around to focus your sharp eyes on him, and he winced back, his typical happy-go-lucky smile faltering.
"H-Hey, what's the matter? Helping Miss Nat out with some late night patients aga—"
"Show me," you ordered, finishing the bandage you were currently on and standing up, moving towards Sampo with your arms crossed. He backed up, hands raised in surrender.
"Whaddya mean, I'm— Ouch!"
The conman couldn't help the yelp he let out when his back made contact with the wall, wincing painfully as his wound hit the hard surface. You raised a brow, unimpressed.
"Shirt off, Sampo Koski. Now."
"Woah, woah, at least take me to dinner first!"
Your glare worsened into something stormy as you pointed at the chair nearby.
"Sit down, shirt off, now. Don't make me repeat myself again."
With the face of a wounded puppy, Sampo slunk over to the chair, doing as you asked. He hissed through his teeth as the cloth of his outerwear dragged against the wound, the layers giving way to a deep trio of gashes on the skin of his back. Even with all your medical training, you found yourself cringing at the sight.
"So, Doc, what's the prognosis?" the man laughed weakly, still trying with his jokes even through his pain.
When you remained quiet, his smile fell, and he turned to look at you. If it were anyone else, you might've mistaken that frown for concern.
"Y/N? You... okay?"
"Be quiet," you huffed out at last, grabbing your rolling table of medical supplies and bringing it around, pulling out a chair as you began to inspect the wounds. "What was it this time?"
"Ah, you know, same old, same old! Just some disgruntled robots, not too keen on letting me make a profit with their buddy's parts!"
"You're an idiot."
The usual Sampo would've shot back with some witty or flirty one-liner that was sure to earn him a smack over the head, but when he heard the slight tremble to your voice, he decided it'd be best to keep his mouth shut for now.
"This'll sting. Don't shout, or you'll wake the other patients."
He bit his lip, expecting a harsh serving of antiseptic, but your hands were... gentler this time. You tenderly cleaned the wound with a water-soaked cloth, and though it did sting a bit, it was far nicer than your usual tough treatments from the ire he earned getting injured all the time.
Soon after, he felt you gently patting the wound down with a soft towel, bandages following soon after that you reached around his torso to wrap around him.
Then, you reached for the pack of painkillers.
Sampo was quick to laugh nervously, pushing the pack away when you held it out to him along with a glass of water.
"Hey, hey! Thanks, Y/N, but I really shouldn't be using Miss Natasha's painkillers. Besides, with how sweetly and tenderly you just patched me up, I'm feeling better already!" he fake-swooned, clasping his hands together like a maiden in love to ham up his act.
You were far from impressed.
"You're a bad liar, Sampo Koski," you scoffed, shoving the water and pills past his defensive hands. "Take it. I can't convince you to stay here and actually rest for a change, so it's the least you can do."
When he still looked apprehensive, you swallowed your pride, lowering your gaze and averting your eyes as your face went just the tiniest bit pink.
"...For me."
Sampo honestly thought he misheard you for a moment, but he finally, hesitantly, took the medicine you offered. You led him over to the door, and he laughed breathlessly, finally giving you another smile as he shrugged his shirt and coat back on.
"All right, all right. I'll get out of your hair, and take these. Just for you."
The conman cackled and ran all the way down the alleyways as you shouted after him, fist raised. Once he had disappeared, though, you let it fall to your side, sighing again.
This time, there was a hint of fondness... but that was something else you would be remiss to admit to.
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hiragikiss · 5 months ago
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𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆, 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆!
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₊˚ෆ── tags : fluff, slight hurt/comfort, married life, husband & wife, fiancé & fiancee, mentions of kaiser's past (spoiler ig?), mentions of pregnancy, mentions of nudity(no smut), pro athlete!au
₊˚ෆ── including : fiancé!michael kaiser, husband!mikage reo (ft. wife/fiancee! reader)
₊˚ෆ── sum. : hey, where's your ring? why is it off your finger?(should i do part 2. . . ? )
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⊹ ִֶָ𓏲࣪𖹭 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐄𝐋 𝐊𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐑
when it comes to choosing partner, a person that he wishes to spend the rest of his life with, michael kaiser is very careful about it. he has witnessed the darkness behind a failed marriage for so long and decided to never make a mistake in his own, as to not bear the consequences of poor decision. thus, kaiser has always been so full of love and patience when it comes to you. he has always been as gentle as possible whenever he speaks or touches you.
but, everyone has a limit and seems to react negatively to it in the most non suitable moment ever. you knew he might have been so upset and emotionally disturbed with all of the pent up stress, building up from the pressure of the media, his team and more. however, it does not act as an excuse for him to let it all out on you. that night, he was obviously irritated to the point of snapping at you.
he laid on the sofa, sighing heavily as he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to calm himself down from the sudden bubbling anger rushing through his veins at this very moment. he had just return from an interview regarding to his career updates and happened to be rudely bombarded by nosy paparazzis, causing his phone charm to be lost in that moment. the crowd was too much, he can't reach nor search for the charm, not when the guards were shoving him into the van with protective manner. to the others, it might have been a cheap phone charm that he could purchase any time yet to michael kaiser, it holds so much memories, it meant a lot to him. and you.
you heard your fiancé while you were cleaning up the kitchen. excited to see him, you toss your apron onto the marble kitchen island, making your way towards him. perhaps you were too excited to see him that you didn't notice the still wet floor that you mopped minutes ago, ending with you falling onto the floor with a loud thud, sound of picture frame crashing could be heard as you tried to hold onto a surface to balance yourself but grabbed the wrong thing instead. the loud noise startled kaiser, his anger is pumping rapidly in his veins again, rising up from the sofa and make his way toward the noise.
"love— "
"why can't you be quiet for once? you always had to do something to get on my nerve, don't you?"
your eyebrows furrowed upon his taunting words that are hinted with anger. you knew that he's overstimulated by frustration but it still stir the annoyance in you. who is he to snap at you just because he is feeling negatively?
"wow, my bad i guess. didn't know it'd be a crime to be excited to see my fiancé."
kaiser frowned at your words.
"i don't like your tone."
"right, says the one who started being such a bitch."
"watch your mouth— "
"watch yours first, michael kaiser. look, i don't know what had happen during your interview but can you not take it out on me? i'm not a tool for you to release your stress on. you know what? go cool yourself off, until then we'll talk."
you ignored him as he stood there silently. you fetch your cleaning tools and carefully deal with the broken pieces, placing the picture back on its place while gathering the ruined pieces of broken picture frame into the dust pan. michael only watch your movements, not even a word spoken. he knew you're right and listened to your words as he remove himself from the spot, heading out for a walk.
kaiser spent quite a long moment as he sit by the lazy chair perched up in the garden where you've planted various flowers. the warm white light shining onto each petals and leaves of the flowers, making it appearing more romantic to look at. kaiser's fingers fiddle with his engagement ring hugging his ring finger as he zone out. his mind is clouded with hazy thoughts that are rapidly messing up his mind at this moment, be it from his past or present. he rethink of his behaviour toward you moments ago and sighed heavily. such violent behaviour his, it almost resemble to his abusive male parent back in his childhood.
growing up in violent atmosphere, pain is all he ever learn about. he yearn for love ; to love and to be loved. he spent his childhood imagining what a love would feel like ; is it true that motherly love feels like heaven? is it true that fatherly love feels like you're in the safest universe ever? they said, parents are the hero of every children, yet, why does his abused him and neglected him?
was it because his parent's love were meant to be painful as you yearn more for it? was it because love was never real? or worse, was it because he is just an unlovable child? if love truly exist, why does he need to suffer in order to get a taste of it? they said love is sweet, yet why was it bitter to him? they said love is warm, yet why was he lying on the cold floor as warm fist pounding his fragile body? they said love is soft, yet why was it full of thorns as he held it in his palms?
that was what he was taught about love from the unhealthy surroundings he was locked in. when he met you, he discover what true love is like. he learned that love is when you let out quirky laughs that tingle his ears yet warms up his chest as he laughs along with you ; he learned that love is when you learn about soccer trick online to impress him just for you to clumsily trip, telling him that you'd love to learn more of his passion ; he learned that love is when you hold him tightly as his vulnerable side was exposed when he had failed his own expectation, validating his emotions and never resort to violence to make him quit from feeling low. love with you is what he has always read about on the fairytales storybook that he secretly kept in his room when he was a kid.
you came to him and show him that love isn't always a hard gain yet he hurt you with his action. the thought of you walking away from him suffocate him. he knew he is only imagining about it yet to not see your smile, to not hear your laughter, to not smell your heavenly fragance, to not touches your skin and to not share your warmth is something he could never want to lose.
"god, i fucked up." he cussed under his breathe as he runs into the house, looking for you.
he entered the shared bedroom, heart drop at the sight of your engagment ring placed upon your vanity table. you're not in the room, which adds up to his overthinking. when he heard the soft patterings of shower waters hitting the floor, that's when he knew you're in there. it confirmed his guess when he heard soft sniffles coming from there as he leaned his ear against the door. he was quick to undo his garments and grab your ring, entering the bathroom as quietly as possible.
"darling?"
his heart soften yet saddened at the sight of your crying nude form, standing under the shower head as you try your best to not let out too much sniffles. thank god you're still with him. he makes his way toward you, engulfing you into his chest, holding onto you as his lips raining kisses unto your wet skin.
"please forgive me, my love. i'm sorry for hurting you." he apologised, rubbing your back softly to comfort you.
"must've hurt your ego to apologise to me, huh? serve you right." you countered his words with a hint of sadness in it.
"it hurts even more if i lose you, love. i never want to lose you."
he whispered, lowering his lips to capture yours, apologising to you silently. you closed your eyes, savoring his kiss, letting his lips stiches apology unto yours, a promise to never hurt you again. he parted his lips from you, eyes looking into yours as his palm make its way to caress your cheeks. his hands then moves itself to grab yours, kissing each knuckles before he slides your ring back to its place. he sealed it with another kiss on the ring.
"please, don't leave me, love."
"i won't, darling. i'm here, forever and always."
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⊹ ִֶָ𓏲࣪𖹭 𝐌𝐈𝐊𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐎
mikage reo, a man who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth along with a face blessed by the heaven. he has always knew that his life is well promising and had nothing to worry about. he has always been so generous of his money, be it to use on himself or use it on his friends. just as when he was with his toys when he was a toddler, always sharing it with his play dates or childhood friends. when he reached the age of entering teenager life, he is still so kind when it comes to money matters until it was when he met his friend, nagi seishiro. for once in his life, he dislike sharing, nagi is his friend and nobody could have him.
that goes on until the day he met you. when it comes to you, not even his beloved close friend could have a touch. for the very first time in his life, he is not kind with nagi when it comes to you. nagi wants to play games with you because he heard you're good at it? no need, reo is hiring a famour gamer to play with nagi. nagi would like to hear about your plant pet? no need, reo is buying him a whole nursery of cactus that varies from different species of cactus. nagi was suspicious of reo but he couldn't complaint because at least he is getting something better to ease his boredom.
reo even make it obvious to the other girls that he is yours the moment both of you made it official. reo is well known for using aesthetic hard covers for his phone but when he started dating you, he changed it to clear case, polaroid of you that's his favourite will be placed in it, displaying to others and showing off his lovely lover.
what about you? how do they know that you are mikage reo's lover? it's easy, it's those luxury branded items that you're wearing. he always make sure that most of it are custom made and limited item. it may cause him to spend a little bit extra but hey, if it's you, he'll even sacrifice the world to make sure you're always pretty and well taken care of. he knew how you love to care for yourself from the way you do your skincare, haircare, daily exercises, makeup and dressing up. he loves it as well and enjoys to indulge into it. as long as you're happy, he is happy as well.
that was until today, when he saw a frown on your pretty face. it wasn't common for you to get upset so easily, he wonder what could've cause such discomfort for you. is it the month of your menstrual cycle begin? no way, that'll be on another 2 weeks, he keep tracks on them. is it because your boss was being harsh on you? no way, he started up a business for you to run and support your cute cafe that sell fresh pastries, sweet flowers and refreshing coffee. is it because your favourite show was postponed because of the billing? no way, he made sure to purchase a year worth of membership with the highest graphic quality for you every year. so, what is it that bother you? he makes his way toward you and holds your hand only for you to pulls it away from him quickly, panic eyes staring at his. he noticed how you hide your hand behind you.
"hubby! hi!" you stuttered a little, trying your best to hide whatever you'd like to hide from him.
"you good, dearest? why won't you let me hold your hand?" he asked, his hand moving to grab yours again.
"my skin is too dry, it'd be unpleasant for you to hold them." you told him, removing your hands from his again.
"what a nonsense, you've always been perfect, dear." he praised, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your forehead.
"my, thank you. aren't you praising me too much, reo?"
"mm, never, dear."
he kisses your lips this time, distracting you from his hand caressing yours, pulling away when he finally caught unto the reason of you hiding your hands from him. he looks into your eyes, scrunching up his nose when he noticed you're getting a bit shy from his full attention and affection.
"what?" you pouted.
"you're so cute and silly too, dear." reo teased, giggling when you playfully frowned at him.
he fish out a velvet box from his back pocket, showing it to you as he opens them. inside, is your wedding ring, the one that you thought you had lost it. you gasp and look at him.
"how?! i thought i lost it!"
"i took them for a cleaning, remember? how could you be so forgetful, dear."
reo smiles as he gets onto one knee, holding your hand gently as he slips it back onto your ring finger. standing up, he kisses the back of your hand. he is so amused with your expression at the moment, all flustered just like how he proposed to you before.
"why were you not telling the truth while ago, hm?" reo questioned.
"knowing you, you'd buy new ones if i truly lost it— "
"why, of course. i'll buy you as many rings as possible, as long as you're happy."
of course he would, how could you doubt him? he is your husband who love to spoil you a little too much.
"thank you, but i'd love to lower the usage of our money, you know?"
"why? is your cafe's billing getting higher? i'll— "
"reo hubby, no. little mikage is on the way, of course we should be spending wisely, right?"
"oh, right, yea— wait. what?!"
you laughed at his reaction. my, your husband is so entertaining.
"yes, dear. we're having a baby!"
reo laughs happily as he hugs you, carefully yet tightly.
"i'm calling nagi, he needs to know that he is an uncle now!"
and you know you did the right thing when you accepted his ring of promises and afraid of losing it. he promised to make you the happiest person ever and he did fulfilled his promises. or should you say, he has always been fulfilling his promises and sealed his promise to eternity.
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© HIRAGIKISS 2024 | do not repost my contents to any other platforms.
masterlist . pinned post
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starminzoo · 1 month ago
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╭──────────────────���
╰─▗ ▘➤𖥸 cowboy!yunho
꒰ risa's note ꒱ ever since these pics dropped... i haven't been the same 😭 the urge to write cowboy!yunho was eating me up but I only know yee-haw 😭 and nothing else man welp hope you all like wtv this is + this is poorly written guys.
warnings: cursing, choking, humping, bitting, marking, boob sucking, lil perv behavior, fingering, dirty talk, creampie, yunho as a cowboy.
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cowboy!yunho who lives in the town, but was here to help your grandparents out like a good kid he claims to be :D
cowboy!yunho who left you speechless by his sweet smile and polite manners at first.
cowboy!yunho who is adored more by your grandparents than you are :)
cowboy!yunho who picks at you for making little mistakes here and there
cowboy!yunho who lovesss to tease you just to see the cute annoyed pout on your lips
cowboy!yunho who once made you run a mile as he left the animals run around freely 😭
cowboy!yunho who wakes you up with the rooster singing above your head (yeh the rooster pecked your forehead leaving behind an ugly bruise)
cowboy!yunho who follows you like a sad puppy when you give him silent treatment after his pranks
cowboy!yunho who you swore to hate all your life but that damn smile of his and that damn muscles of his and his damn height
cowboy!yunho who teases you regarding your height 🧍🏻‍♀️
cowboy!yunho who starts to work shirtless because of heat (god bless his parents)
cowboy!yunho who was actually nice if he wasn't speaking with his ass.
cowboy!yunho with whom you accidentally got drunk and ended up falling asleep on the table.
cowboy!yunho who helped you get to bed but you dragged him down with you and guys fell asleep with him sleeping besides you.
cowboy!yunho who was awoken rudely by you kicking him down your bed in the morning.
cowboy!yunho who makes you pay for kicking him in the morning by tying your boot lace together when you are busy so you end up falling face first into the mud (mud mask 😻)
cowboy!yunho on whom you took revenge by hiding his farming tools in pigpen.
cowboy!yunho who always gave you princess treatment.
cowboy!yunho who never allowed you to pick up heavy things or work alone.
cowboy!yunho who calls you petal because you wear lots of summer dresses with flowers on them.
cowboy!yunho who brings flowers for you on his way back from the market.
cowboy!yunho who planted your favorite flowers and fruits without you knowing.
cowboy!yunho who started to notice that you became less hostile with him when you started making his favorite foods.
cowboy!yunho who was about to confess his love for you when you made him his favorite pie.
cowboy!yunho whose small gestures you always appreciated such as putting his jacket around your waist whenever you climbed up the horse, picking you up easily as you weighed nothing to place you on mud free space, always tagging along with you to the market to keep the creeps off.
cowboy!yunho whose favorite sound was of your laughter.
cowboy!yunho who always made you feel happy and at peace whether you guys were cooking together, watching the sunset together or even star gazing, you guys were at peace.
cowboy!yunho who drags you out late at night in the fields just so you can run and giggle at fireflies and he can just stare at you with love pouring out of his eyes.
cowboy!yunho who fell in love first and harder.
cowboy!yunho who asked you out under a starry night and when you said 'yes' he placed a crown made out of your favorite flowers (those that he grew himself)
cowboy!yunho who loves to back hug you when you both are riding 'his' horse yes he owns one named thunder :)
cowboy!yunho who gets all pouty and whiny when you pay more attention to thunder than him.
cowboy!yunho who loves back hugging you when guys cook together.
cowboy!yunho who asks for pecks after every chore he completes.
cowboy!yunho who also loves messy make outs with you like we are talking about saliva, teeth and all.
cowboy!yunho who loves taking sneak peeks at your ass whenever you wear short summer dresses.
cowboy!yunho who loves the way your panties stick to your core all cute and cozy (????).
cowboy!yunho who also loves your dresses for another reason, easy access to pussy whenever he wants.
cowboy!yunho who just puts his fingers inside whenever you are around him, skillfully drawing you closer to your high, "ahh ahh yunhoo~ am cumming hah".
cowboy!yunho who loves you with his whole heart but your thigh are his drugs.
cowboy!yunho who treats your thighs as his stress pillows biting, sucking and smacking them but he also loves to relieve his stress by spending hours between your thighs.
cowboy!yunho who loves your pretty pink pussy, always wet and warm for him, "ahh yuyu, fuck fuck fuck 's good 's good".
cowboy!yunho who eats you out like his last meal every.damn.time.
cowboy!yunho who loves to creampie you, the sight of your creamy cunt covered with both of your juices is his obsession.
cowboy!yunho who loves littering your neck,chest and thighs and even your ass with love bites, "mine, mine, mine".
cowboy!yunho who knows it drives you crazy that when he fucks you wearing his cowboy hat.
cowboy!yunho who goes crazy when you hump his leather clad thigh, he holds your waist guiding you as you shiver from the intensity of your high.
cowboy!yunho who chokes on his leather clad fingers, "good girl just like that".
cowboy!yunho who heard you singing the lyrics "save a horse and ride a cowboy" he made sure you did that.
cowboy!yunho who was on the verge of passing out when you kept riding the life out of his dick, "fuckkk petal 's good mhmmm".
cowboy!yunho who loves cock warning with you after a tired day in fields.
cowboy!yunho who loves to bury his face in your chest, always melting away in your boobs.
cowboy!yunho who loves to suck on your nipples like a child, "*pop" so good baby hmmm*.
cowboy!yunho whose kind goes hazy when you give him "worlds best head's", "mhmm yes just like that petal deep and warm mhmmm fuck".
cowboy!yunho whose favorite sex position is doggystyle or reverse cowgirl.
cowboy!yunho who loves breeding your needy cunt, "fuck look at this pussy taking me so well holy fuck yes yes".
cowboy!yunho who loves to fuck you in the fields at night under the starry sky, "yuyu someone is gonna seeeee fuckk ahhh" "let them petal, let them see how good I fuck you".
cowboy!yunho who loves staring at his scratched up back in the mirror, proudly smiling as it's the way you mark him as yours.
cowboy!yunho who loves when you wear his clothes be it his vests or just his hats, he loves fucking you in them.
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THIS IS SHITTT CAN U BELIEVE IT WAS SITTING IN MY DRAFTS SINCE HE POSTED THOSE PICS, i wouldn't be even mad if this flops like yeh :) I am sorry guys, for any mistakes as this is not proof read
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yandere-writer-momo · 7 months ago
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Yandere Head Canons:
Denial of Desire
Yandere Vampiress x Henchman Fem Reader
TW: comphet, internalized homophobia, denial of feelings, yearning, slowly slippping into madness, yandere behavior, unhealthy relationship, murder (threatened), etc.
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Ophelia often dismissed you despite your constant concern of her well being. You knew she was a vampire and a mistress of the night, but she consistently put herself in danger. You once loved Ophelia, yet you knew she was straight. It would be rude to impose your feelings on your mistress when she only held distaste for you. Especially since you were nothing more than a servant to Ophelia.
Whether it was to hunt for food or to bring some random man back to her manor, you always had to clean up the mess. It started to get on your nerves since you were still new to being a vampire yourself… yet you had no interest in drinking human blood. Not like Ophelia did.
“Your cleaning skills are subpar. Can’t you do it any better?” Ophelia nagged you as she kicked over your mop bucket with her black pinkie wickers. You sighed, hours of work now ruined in mere seconds.
“My lady, I was simply on the first round of mopping. This quite difficult to remove old blood from the walls and floor.”
“Then find a better way to do it. I need to fetch my next victim soon and I don’t want them to see this mess.” Ophelia gestured to you and the filthy floor. “If you have any complaints, you can simply leave.”
You bowed your head and frowned. No matter how kind you were to your mistress or how you did your best to meet her demands, it was never enough. You were never enough.
“Apologies, I’ll keep cleaning.” You went back to scrubbing the walls and floor. You couldn’t let her rudeness get to you… not until you found a new master at least. Ophelia would be hosting a vampire ball by the end of the week so you may have your chance to flee then?
Ophelia studied your form before she smiled. You never complained no matter how rude she was to you, it was a trait she adored about you. She wished every servant was like you. It would make her life less stressful then… except she knew you were her favorite. You always dutifully fulfilled your every command in a timely manner… Ophelia was positive you’d always stay by her side. Why would you ever leave your mistress? She made you.
Ophelia had brought yet another man home and quickly whisked him up to her room without sparing you a glance. You shook your head at her antics before you decided to explore the manor’s garden to tend to. Despite now being a creature of the night, you still retained your love for gardening. It was just a shame you could never see the flowers under the sunlight again…
Ophelia on the other hand, couldn’t even get past kissing with this man. He was just like all the others before him… no matter what she did, it felt wrong. Being with men made her feel sick to her stomach and the vampiress didn’t understand why.
All her life, her parents told her she’d find a man one day and she could turn him into a vampire to be with her… yet all of them were subpar. Their genitalia disgusted her and they were far too hairy for her. Everything about men was gross other than their blood. That’s all they seemed to be good for…
Ophelia wiped her mouth from yet another messy meal, the vampiress made her way to her balcony to study her night garden. And that’s when she spotted you. What were you doing down there?
Ophelia studied your form as you trimmed up some of the bushes and tended to the flowers. You were so soft looking compared to the men. Soft and delicate like the petals of the roses below… forever young and beautiful thanks to Ophelia. You’d never have to age or worry about sickness. In Ophelia’s mind, she saved you. Yet why did you always look so sad? Was her company not enough for you?
Ophelia rested her arms on her balcony, her red eyes scanned your sullen form in thought. She wondered if her night would be different if it was you beneath her and not the many men she’s brought to her room. If your skin was as soft as it looked… if you were sensitive and lovely- no!
Ophelia shook her head and pushed herself from the balcony in haste. The vampiress ran a pale hand through her Snow White locks in horror. Why would she think of you in such a way? You were another woman… you weren’t a man. You were soft and sweet like fruit but she couldn’t have you. She couldn’t sleep with you because you were a woman. And Ophelia wasn’t a lesbian… she couldn’t be. She had to produce a pure blood vampire, it was her destiny.
Yet her impure thoughts said otherwise. Ophelia knew the truth deep down… she loved you. It’s why she was so mean to you. It was to try to scare you away.
When the ball came around, Ophelia’s breath hitched when she spotted you in your dress. How could someone look so lovely? If she still had a beating heart, she was sure it would burst
Ophelia did her best to ignore you at the ball but her eyes often shifted to you as you danced with other vampires… how could you dance so carefree with other women? Didn’t you feel shame like she did?
It was when Ophelia hung out with a young couple of pure blood vampires that she questioned herself. This couple consisted of two women? Two female vampires could be together? It was okay to be… she had no idea she could make that choice.
Ophelia felt tears gather in her eyes as the two pure bloods reassure her that it was okay to like other women. That they were immortal creatures who could do whatever they pleased.
And that was all it took for Ophelia to go running after you. The vampiress had to confess, she had to tell you how she felt-
Ophelia nearly fell to the floor when she saw you kissing another vampiress. Her dead heart dropped to her feet in shock when you ran your fingers through the other woman’s black locks. You… you were hers. You were her servant and no one else’s!
Ophelia wanted to kill this vampire you touched! How dare she touch you when you were her property! You cannot be with anyone other than Ophelia, herself!
Ophelia rushed forward and separated you from the other vampire. Her breathing ragged and her white hair in disarray. “I am in need of your assistance this instant. You do not have time to fraternize with the other candies here.”
You can’t even protest as Ophelia dragged you away by your arm. You’re speechless when Ophelia dragged you up the stairs towards her room.
“Mistress-“ You’re suddenly thrown to her bed, unable to scramble away since Ophelia lunged at you.
“I hate you…” Ophelia cried. “I hate how you make me feel. How I can’t get you out of my mind.”
“Mistress-“ Ophelia pressed her lips against yours with fervency. Her hands hungrily grasped at your flesh. You’re absolutely gobsmacked at this transgression. What?
“I hate you so much because I love you. I love you so much, it makes me crazy.” Ophelia muttered into your lips. “And I don’t care who I have to kill or what I have to do, I won’t let anyone else have you.”
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luveline · 8 months ago
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missing eddie and roan rn🥲
can we get something were roan brings home flowers she picked during recess for reader🫶
Eddie and Roan —Eddie’s daughter brings you a bouquet when you’re sick. (step)mom!reader
Roan skips up the path to the house with a big smile. “Dad, come on!” she demands.
Eddie’s trying to carry three paper bags of groceries and close the trunk at the same time. He is not receptive to criticism at this present moment. “Shut up, babe.” 
“You shut up!” 
“You first.” He drops the keys by accident. “Ro, can you come and grab these for me? Thank you.”
She races to grab the keys and then back to the door. “Dad, COME ON!” 
“You’re being super rude and irate right now but I forgive you,” Eddie says, yanking the door open to let her inside, “because I know you’re hangry.” 
“Not hangry!” she denies, bursting into the hallway and kicking her shoes so hard against the shoe rack that the top layer of your work shoes topple onto the floor. “Mom!” she shouts, one word lined heavily with joy even now. She’s been calling you mom for months and it doesn’t get any less exciting for her, clearly. “Y/N! Y/N, I got you something! Where are you?” 
“I’m in bed!” you call, sounding excited yourself, if a little confused. “What did you get me?” 
Eddie wasn’t aware of any gifts. He puts the groceries on the counter in the kitchen and follows his charge up the stairs, curious and not wanting to put stuff away anyhow. Roan tumbles into the master bedroom still wearing her red vinyl coat, door slamming into the wall, you wincing in bed. 
Eddie winces too. “Ro,” he says desperately, “come on, bub, she’s in bed rest, remember? So we’re being careful about loud noises. I told you twice today already.” 
“Sorry! I just want to see you,” she says, straight to your side and arms up expecting to be helped. 
You pull her into your lap. “I’m sick of resting anyways.” 
Eddie intercepts Roan’s hug to lean down over you and give you a gentle kiss, of which you are extremely receptive. He gets butterflies thinking about you to this day, and having you raise your chin to receive him intensifies them by half, then whole as your lips do finally touch. 
“Okay day?” he asks. 
“Really quiet,” you say, tugging Roan up into your chest before she can get jealous. 
“Head?” he asks. 
“Fine. Barely a headache anymore.” 
Eddie bites his lip. Not too long ago you were in a hospital bed practically catatonic. He cannot afford to be uncareful with you. You’re too much to him. 
“Promise?” he asks. 
You’re distracted from answering by small hands on your face. “Mommy, I was talking to you first.” 
“Sorry, baby, yes you were.” You sink further down. “Can you ever forgive me?” 
Roan could forgive you for almost anything. She wiggles where she’s sitting on your stomach, hands clumsy at the bottom of her coats zipper, her chest rising and falling after her sprint up the stairs. Eddie and Roan are still both cold enough to have it emanating from their coats, but you don’t care, you just want your after school cuddle.
Eddie peels out of his coat at the same time, takes his shoes off with some self-chastisement (mud upstairs is awful and rude of him and he’ll spend the evening trying to rub it out of the rug because you really like the rug and he likes you), and sits on the bed by your feet. 
“Oh, what have you got?” you ask warmly. 
Eddie bends his head to watch her pull flowers from her overall pocket, one small stem at a time. Daisies and buttercups with petals smaller than her fingernails. They keep coming, ten then twenty, maybe thirty flowers on your chest. The stems are broken, but they’re all more alive than anyone could have hoped for considering they’d been sandwiched in her pocket for hours. 
“These are for me?” you ask. 
“All for you. Except this one for dad,” she says, picking up one of the bigger daisies. “And maybe this one for me.” She grabs a buttercup for herself. 
“Aw, thanks baby. These are gonna make me better, huh?” 
She looks like him when she smiles. Cheesy, cute, she arranges the flowers in a bouquet in her hand and presents it to you grandly. “I picked them at school behind the wooden house. Do you like ‘em?” 
“I love them,” you pronounce, just as grand but not half as loud. 
“I love you.” 
“You cheesball,” Eddie says, rolling his eyes. 
“Ignore him.” You touch her cheek with a fondness that makes his jaw ache thinking about the love behind it. “I love you too.” 
“And you’ll be better soon,” Roan says. 
Eddie can answer that one. He holds your ankle through the sheets, and gives your calf a quick stroke. “She’s gonna be a hundred percent any day now, bug. Better be extra gentle with her to help her along.” 
Roan rubs her bouquet of flowers softly under your chin. “I’m gentle,” she whispers. 
You rake your fingers through her hair, a half centimetre a second, fingertips drawing down between her shoulders. Such a mom thing to do, Roan dissolves like sugar paper in the rain. 
Eddie smiles. “Alright, I’m jealous.”
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selfishdoll · 1 year ago
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NOW PLAYING…. FANTASIZE
I know what you fantasize about
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TAKUMA INO x SUCCUBUS! READER.
sum: ino, desperate to feel the touch of a woman, seeks out alternative options. which includes, summoning a demon into his house.
cw: ooc characters, modern au (no cursed techniques), lowkey loser ino (i love him), virgin!ino, switch (both of you), handjob, blowjob, cowgirl, praise, pussy-drunk ino, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, pet names (on both sides), demons, demon rituals, angst if you squint, porn no plot, chubby reader, gojo is a bit of a dick, etc.
it was so funny looking up rituals for summoning a succubus, i know the person watching my phone activity is concerned. also, does this count for kinktober? idk i’m new around here. but i got this idea while working so…:) hope you enjoy. unedited, please excuse typos & grammar mistakes.
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Takuma Ino was having a bit of dilemma. It wasn’t anything serious like a sickness or losing his home, rather— it was actually quite silly.
He has never, in his twenty-one years of living, made love to a woman. Or anyone for that matter.
Now he’s been on dates before. Has flirted with woman, hell; even kissed a few. But, it never went farther then that. He wasn’t sure why, it ate him up inside that he didn’t have such experience like his seniors Gojo and Geto, even Nanami. And as much as he’d like to find the root of the problem, Ino refused to ask any of them for some perspective.
The thought alone made him want to curl into a ball and die.
But him being inexperienced wasn’t a secret, given Satoru teased him on it constantly. Much to the younger man’s dismay.
Things really took a turn one night, however, when Gojo said something a little off-putting.
At this point, you should just summon a succubus.
The statement was quickly overshadowed by Geto stating the white-haired male was being rude, along with Nanami agreeing. But in that moment, Takuma Ino wasn’t focused on Gojo’s lack of manners, rather; his mind swarmed with that idea.
Was it possible? Were such creatures real? Could he really summon one?
Ino was desperate. He felt something was lacking inside of him having no experience and all. So, just the thought of a solution like this.. well, it wouldn’t hurt to try, right?
Which brings him to tonight, the man seated crisscrossed on his bedroom floor; staring down at the pentagram and candles in the middle of the room. He had spent hours before searching the web for summons, deciding on a relatively easy one. Drawing the pentagram took much more time then he wanted it to, along with placing the candles down. It was currently dark out, the moon shining into his already lit bedroom.
Ino pursed his lips, a bout of anxiety developing in the pit of his stomach. What if, he messed it up somehow? The thought of dealing with something worse then a succubus scared him much more than never having sex. However, another thought plagued him..
What if it didn’t work? Was it really worth wasting time on some stupid comment Gojo made?
It took a moment for Ino to decide his next choice of action, leaning on his crossed legs as an exasperated sigh escaped him. Moments of silence passed before he rose up, a small fuck it, escaping him. Leaning against his bed, the man glanced at his phone, reading through the remaining steps quickly.
“Okay, blood.. then chant.” Ino gulped softly. Settling his phone back beside him, he reached for the pocket knife off to the side. Flipping it open, he placed the blade against his palm, squeezing the handle of the small weapon. His breathing got heavy for a moment, bottom lip caught between his teeth— glaring down at his hand. Quickly, Takuma slid the blade across his skin, a sharp hissing escaping him once the wound started to sting. He watched as scarlet red blood slowly bubbled from the cut, breath hitching as the sight.
Ino breathed, lifting his hand over the pentagram and rose petals in the middle; watching droplets of blood slowly fall from his hand, into the pile. His lips moved, softly chanting the spell he had found on the internet, dark eyes glaring at the ritual.
The chant escaped his mouth five more times before he stopped, resting their silently for a moment. Waiting for.. anything, really. A signal, a sign the ritual had worked. That his desperation wasn’t all for not..
That he hadn’t cut his palm for some odd fantasy.
Unfortunately, nothing happened. Nothing, except for the sting of his hand and the one of his dignity. He was such an idiot— taking Gojo’s word at face value instead of as a joke.
Takuma Ino, felt pathetic.
Silently, he pulled his hand back, ignoring the sting of it as he began to collected the dirtied petals. He moved to blow out the candles next, collecting them as well to throw away. Once that was completely he exited his bedroom to his bathroom, coming back with a wet rag shortly after to rub away the pentagram.
Still silent, still completely mad at himself.
That was about five hours ago, Takuma deciding to push the event to the back of his mind and sleep. He couldn’t dwell over his stupidity for too long, he had work in the morning.
Curled up under his blankets, the man slept soundly, face pressed into his pillow. The room was quiet, atmosphere soft, his legs, heavy… heavy. Why were his legs so heavy? The half-asleep man turned, pulling his blankets a bit, thinking it was simply that.
But, no. Ino quickly realized it wasn’t that. Sleep was slowly drifting away, annoyance traveling into his body. Did he accidentally place something on his bed? Did something fall? Such question entered his mind, blinking away sleep as he turned— shutting his bedside lamp on.
Takuma Ino blinked slowly, eyes peering down at.. something, someone. A woman. She was, pretty. Cloaked in warm mocha skin, a form figure will full hips and curves; pudge pushed against the blankets underneath her. Her hair was neat, styled in long braids that rested in curly ends just below her ass.
And from what Takuma could see, she was completely bare.
“Wh—what..” The man stuttered under his breath, slowly pulling his legs from under her body, backing to the headboard of his bed. Biting the inside of his cheek, he reached over, planting a hand onto her shoulder. “Hey.. uh— miss?” He spoke, watching her stir just a bit. To his horror she turned from laying on her stomach, Ino quickly tossing his blanket in her direction. “Miss— its time to wake up!” Ino spoke again, voice holding much more urgency then it did before.
You slowly stirred from your sleep, blinking and yawning softly. You tilted your head to spot Ino already staring at you, a look of shock and nervousness painting his features. You only smiled, turning once again to rise up on your hands. “Hi..”
Ino gulped the moment your voice hit his ears, range a sickeningly sweet tone, soft; traveling into his mind so easily. He bit his cheek, clenching his pants in his hands. “How did you..get in here? Are you lost?”
You blinked at him for a moment, coming to sit comfortably on the bed, nearly smiling at the way he refused to look at you. Or rather, your body. “I’m not lost.. you summoned me here, right?”
As the words left your mouth, his breath hitched; eyes widening in shock. The ritual, actually worked? He had really summoned one, a succubus? There was no way, this had to be a prank.
“You look human.”
“I look how you want me to look..” You spoke softly, leaning back, sliding your hands down your body. “Or rather, your type.” You grinned, watching a warm red spread across his cheeks. You leaned, crawling up to him until you were far too close for comfort; watching as he sunk into the headboard to gain some space. “But, would you like me to change? Is there something else you wish to see?”
Ino breathed heavily, eyes finally falling from your face and to your body; trained on your soft plump breasts, your thighs, your hips.. everything was just so, perfect. Change? Such a thought would never pass his mind.
His trance was interrupted the moment a pretty giggle escaped you, his entire body stilling the moment your hand rested upon his lower stomach. You pushed up until your mouth was against his ear, speaking lowly;
“Looks like your body answer the question for you..” He hissed softly as your hand breached his black tshirt, gliding your fingers along his vline. You were so close, yet so far from he really wanted you to touch him; his head leaning back as you continued to rub gentle circles into his skin.
“Please..”
“Hm?” You feigned innocence, pulling back to glance at his face. His eyebrows were pinched a little close, eyes closed as he gently bit his lips. The sight was very pretty, you had to admit. “You want me to touch you more?”
“Yes—“ Ino spoke far too quickly, raising his head to look at you. His cheeks were flushed with red, embarrassed out of his mind— but he didn’t care. Not one bit. “Please.. please touch me more.”
Your glossed lips curled into a small smile, leaning over so you two were only a breath’s away. “You’re so cute, Ino.” You spoke softly, closing the gap to capture his lips. Slowly, you two enjoyed the other’s mouth, pressing your body against his own. You felt his hand twitched with uncertainty, slowly lifting to gently grasp your waist. You smiled against his lips, gently biting them in response. The moment a soft gasp escaped him, your tongue intruded his mouth, while your hand.. reached into his pants.
His fingers gripped your bare skin as your own traced his shaft, feeling him slowly harden under your touch. You wrapped your hand around his cock, slowly pulling him out of his pants and boxers. The man groaned softly as your thumb traced his tip, feeling precum slowly drip from the slit. You pulled back, cooing at the sight of his strained face. How cute..
You leaned over, lips pressed against his neck as you began to drag your hand up and down his shaft, slowly, watching him twitch with each glide across his sensitive tip. You sucked a kiss into his skin, switching around to kiss against his throat; relishing at the gulp you felt under your lips. Your hand quickened around his cock; focusing around his tip, grinning at the way his hips rose up into your hand.
“So cute..” You murmured to yourself, watching him carefully. He felt so sensitive from your touch, gasping out; soft groans escaping him every so often. The hand on your hip was bruising by now, fingertips digging into your skin, holding on for leverage. He’s never felt anything like this; your hand completely differently from his own. You played like him as if you knew his own body more than he did, grazing across secret places he’s never known about.
“O—oh, fuck..”
“You’re close, handsome?” You questioned softly, eyelids lowered as you hand got even faster. The man was bucking up into your hand at this point, fucking it, chasing his release. One he reached easily, lips parted as a husky, prolonged moan escaped his throat. You hummed softly as his warm release coated your fingers, glancing down as your hand slowly came to a stop. You tilted your head with a little simper, traveling down the bed. “You made a mess of yourself, Ino.”
Your voice brought him down from his high, blinking tiredly over at you. To his horror, you were leaning down towards his cock; the man gasping the moment your lips brushed his tip. “F—fuck..” He whined softly, gripping the blanket under him, a stuttered groan escaping him as your tongue traveled up his shaft, collecting his cum. “‘M too sensitive, please—“
Ino’s own pornographic groan interrupted his words the moment you took him into his mouth, eyes rolling back at your warm cavern. He could only lay there, overstimulated whines escaping him as you took him deeper into your mouth, tongue gliding across his cock; allowing his tip to hit the back of your throat.
You bobbed up and down his length, eyes closed and focused on your breath. Your hands resting on his thighs, feeling the muscles shake and clench with each movement of your head. It didn’t take long for the poor man to come again, his voice much louder than before; painting your mouth and throat white. Your moaned around his cock, slowly sucking him dry, feeling his hand press against your shoulder— gasping from the sensitivity. You pulled back slowly, swallowing the rest of his release, eyes peering over at him.
You warmed as his hand traveled to your face, feeling his thumb gently wipe away your mouth. You leaned into his palm, “Did that feel good, Ino?” You questioned sweetly, watching the man nod rather quickly; still breathless. You gently kissed his palm — right above his wound —, slowly traveling up his body, settling on his torso. His hands found your ass, gently caressing the warm skin— clenching when you pressed against his chest lightly.
“You want more, don’t you?” You spoke softly, leaning closely. Your noses brushed, moving in as if to kiss him, only to back away the moment you saw his eyes fluttered. His hand clenched your ass, a small chuckle exiting you as a result. “Use your words..”
Ino breathed sure his cheeks and ears were terribly red. He never imagined his first time would go like this, but, he wasn’t complaining. He glanced into your eyes, “Please.. I—I want to feel you.” He spoke, watching as you moaned softly at his words. He felt accomplished the moment you rose your body, scooting down a bit to hover above his crotch.
Your hand collected his cock, breathing slowly as you lined it up with your entrance. Pressing your knees into the bed, you slowly lowered yourself on his length; feeling his hands grasp your thighs the moment they began to shake. You moaned as he stretched you, velvety walls clenching the deeper he went. Soon, you settled into his lap, pressing your hands against his stomach to still yourself.
“Ar—are you okay?” You glanced up to spot the tinge of worry in his eyes, your cheeks warming at this. You leaned over, kissing his chin.
“Of course.”
Digging your knees into his soft blankets, you rose yourself up until only his tip remained inside— dropping down in one swift motion. The action caused the both of you to moan, his hands clenching your skin; resting his head on his pillows. You hands pressed against his stomach, fucking yourself on his cock; pretty moans escaping your swollen lips.
Ino was holding you so tightly at this point, allowing you to do anything you wanted; trapped under the pleasure you were giving him. Your plush walls clenching him, your hot skin pressed against his own— it was all so much, but he loved every piece. Hazy eyes slowly focused on you, watching work yourself up and down his length, how erotic your expression was.
“Look.. fuck— You’re so pretty.” Ino gasped out, hands traveling to your waist, slowly meeting your thrusts. His hips circled, watching you clench his shirt, pretty babbles of his name escaping you. He wanted to see more of it, needed to. You were far too much, yet he craved it.
A surprised whine escaped you the moment he began to fuck up into you, his feet flat on his bed, holding you tightly on his cock so you could do nothing but take it. The sound of skin on skin contact entered the room, your jumbled noises of pleasure surrounding the space too. Your bodies moved against each other, desperate for release— for the other’s as well.
Repeated fucks escaped you, leaning over to wrap your arms around his neck as he rose his hips more; reaching even deeper inside your messy cunt. You held onto him tightly, eyes pinched close as your nails dug into his covered skin. “F—fuck, so close, so close— Ino!”
His breathing was ragged, face stuffed into your neck as he felt his hips began to stutter. “Me.. me too, fuck— can i come inside? Wanna.. fill you up, oh fuck!” Ino’s voice came out in harsh whimpers, thrusts turning desperate, slamming into you as his mind grew cloudy. In the midst he heard your soft pleas for his cum, your pretty whines enough for him— pushing him over the edge. Spilling into your, fucking his seed into you; stuffing you full.
You gasped, eyes rolling back as you came as well; wet walls clenching, milking him of all he’s worth. The two of you panted heavily, his hips slowly falling to the bed as his arms wrapped around your middle. Your fingers curled into his hair, eyes closed as you simply laid on him.
“… Are you leaving now?” His tone was soft, voice scratchy from its previous abuse. You smiled at his words, shaking your head. “I’ll stay as long as you want me to.”
To your surprise his arms wrapped tighter around your waist, pulling you flush against his body.
“Good.”
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qwimchii · 1 year ago
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𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭 (pt. 3) — 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘳𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘺
playlist pt. 1 pt. 2 pt. 3 pt. 4 pt. 5 pt. 6 pt. 7 pt. 8 (10/24)
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𝘨𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳!𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘹 𝘧!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳
𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺 — 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘢 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘤𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘢𝘯 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘢 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘯, 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘥 𝘸𝘦𝘴𝘵'𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘭𝘢𝘸, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘭 𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘸𝘤 — 21.3𝘬
𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘦 — 𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘵𝘩-𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧, 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵, 𝘴𝘮𝘶𝘵
𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴/𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘴 — 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘸𝘦𝘴𝘵!𝘢𝘶, 141𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘨!𝘢𝘶, 𝘨𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳!𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘵, 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘥𝘰𝘮!𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘵, 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳!𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘵, 𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘥!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳, 𝘷𝘪𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘯!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳, 𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 (10𝘺𝘳𝘴), 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘢𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘩𝘰𝘭, 𝘴𝘮𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘥 & 𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦, 𝘨𝘰𝘳𝘦, 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘴 & 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢, 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘬, 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘩𝘢𝘪𝘳 𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨
note: this chapter is literally insane but 😗 nothing like a bit of forced proximity 🤭
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when you emerged from your room, it was already mid-morning. you had pulled your hair back and up from your face, ringlets of loose curls framing your head like a halo. you dressed in the best attire you could fish out of the armoire—a petal pink skirt with furls of embellishments like honey, and a pale beige blouse with tendrils of pastel blue carnations stitched into its chest and up the high collar, gathering tight at your shoulders and pooling into a loose sleeve then the tight cuff of your wrist.
the garments were delicate—as delicate as you felt you were, broken in and soft. from the makeup tray on a shelf in the armoire, you very lightly pressed just a tinge of french rogue powder to your lips and cheeks to smother the swollen puffiness of your face. taking a bit of dark eyeshadow on your pinkie, you smudged it meticulously across your eyelid, hoping you looked positively radiant on this awful, gloomy day, despite the strong sun shining through the windows of your room.
when you passed the porter, marching into the compartment littered with los vaqueros, one-four-one, and much to your chagrin, Ghost, you barely spared the porter a glance. he looked so much smaller, meager, in the sunlight, a chubby pudge to his face and teeth that slightly protruded over his bottom lip. 
still, you bowed your head with a graciousness as he just rudely stared into your face, his hands clenched into clammy fists by his sides.
when you stepped into the compartment, there was a diminishing of noise that coalesced into a steady silence. you ignored them all, sliding onto an abandoned couch where breakfast tea and coffee was laid out. you served yourself a cup, politely curling your legs to the side as you looked out the window.
it was the same scenery as the night before—a stretching half-desert with sparse vegetation and weedy trees, cast in a yellow glare from the sunlight.
Kate slid into the plush chair adjacent to you, the sight of another woman at her shoulder making you jump. she had a mahogany rich tone to her skin, intricate black coils braided tight to her head and trailing down the back of her neck. the almond curve of her eyes and full lips gleamed. 
your mouth parted quite rudely. she was absolutely radiant.
laxing back in her chair, she sat across from you with an easy-going look. she wore loose buckskin trousers with a fringe and a jacket of cowhide, a bandolier slung across her chest. she tipped her hat to you and you sorely missed your stetson at that moment.
“mornin’,” Kate said with a light slap on your knee, which you deemed mildly inappropriate, but at this point, you couldn’t bother to comment.
as if on queue, you eyed Ghost pad over to sit by the woman. he was rock still, face imperceptible and stoic behind the mask, though you noted the twitch of his hand on his holster. another one if his telling habits.
you sipped at your cup. “good morning, Kate.” 
pointedly ignoring Ghost, you gave a polite smile to the woman across from you, offering a hand. “pleasure to meet you, ma’am.”
“please. call me Maria.” she had the same soothing rhythmical accent as Alejandro and Rudolfo, her voice a smooth, grating honey.
your brows rose. before you could stop yourself, you remarked—
“i had no idea there were women in los vaqueros.”
Kate snorted, and you immediately felt your face flush. if Kate was in one-four-one, or led it alongside John, practically, it shouldn’t have been shocking that there were female gunslingers in los vaqueros.
stupid, you chided to yourself, not missing the way Ghost cocked his head at you curiously.
but Maria just smiled, reaching out to brush her knuckles over Kate’s shoulder, and Kate's fingers inched over to touch her knee in reply. “she’s funny,” she said, tone denoting something of approval.
Ghost cleared his throat, drawing your attention.
“we need to talk.”
not to you, you hoped with a bitterness, and found relief when he leaned instead towards the other two women.
Kate’s eyes narrowed.
“you didn’t tell her?” her tone was lashing and it startled you.
suspicious, you turned your gaze to take in Ghost fully. he was staring dead at Kate, unmoving and wordless, till he shifted, knees spreading wider as he settled back. she sighed, long and tired.
“when we get back to san francisco,” she said with a cocked brow, “you’ll be goin’ back to your folks.”
your blood slowed to a thick, icy stop. “what?”
she just shook her head. “we weren’t plannin’ on it but it’s best for you, missy. we won’t be able to protect you much once we’re in the city. there’ll be a full-blown out war. Turner isn’t hellbent on finding you.”
she clasped your knee. “he’s hellbent on killing us.”
you startled when you felt a hand on your shoulder. looking back, Soap was leaning over you, arm no longer in a sling and clasping at your shoulder with a solemn look.
“sorry, bonnie lass,” he said bitterly. “we should’ve never taken ye in the first place.” then his face brightened. “but yer gonna see yer family soon, even if we’ll miss ya.”
behind him, Gaz stood with crossed arms, face pinched with an ever stoic look. you expected that he would be happy about this as the most diametrically opposed to your presence out of all the members of one-four-one, but the despaired scrunch of his brow betrayed him.
your voice cracked. “who decided this?”
the whole room shifted with discomfort, and Kate’s eyes slid to Ghost. you bit back a scream, refusing to even look in his direction. 
his voice was a deep timbre in your head—those were the terms of our agreement.
i own you. body and soul.
if you did go back to your daddy and mama—when you did, Turner would be there, old and wrinkled up like a prune, his stale breath a sigh against your face during long, long nights.
Ghost knew that if he gave you back to your mama and daddy, you would be handed over to Turner instantaneously. and still, he’d rather win the battle over your body against Turner. for revenge.
it seemed that he had no use for you now that his revenge ploy was over with.
John was standing at Maria’s shoulder now, leaning his body weight against the back of Kate’s chair. he looked at you somberly, mouth an etched line beneath the scruff of his beard.
“you saved my life with that bloody good sharpshootin’, sweetheart.” his eyes twinkled. “how can i ever repay you?”
you’d hardly thought John guiding you through your first murder was considered saving his life but you’d take all that you could get.
your mind turning back to Turner, the rushing torrent of blinding rage that consumed you was scary. you hated him with your whole being. you wanted to hate everyone with your whole being. you wanted to hate everyone in the room for doing this to you—their vengeful kidnapping ploy had turned you into a sinful outlaw just like them. but you just couldn’t.
“do me a favor.” you looked from each member of one-four-one, eyes passing over Ghost with a blind haze. “make sure you kill that Turner fucker slow and painful.”
that way you may never have to be owned by him.
Maria laughed aloud. “i like the way you talk, chica,” she said with a malicious glint to her grin, as one-four-one nodded in agreement with your words.
the rest of the morning was a slow haze. los vaqueros conjoined with one-four-one in the lounge compartment just before a brunch. you stuck with Kate and Maria the entire time, sorely avoiding Ghost and the other members of one-four-one, taking slow bites you could barely hold down.
an all-consuming grief pinched at your stomach. you would’ve gladly avoided the rest of them for the next day of travel on the train if Gaz didn’t barricade your way out the dining car. most of the men had filtered out, only a few stray los vaqueros lingering out of ear-shot.
Gaz crossed his arms in the doorway, looking down at you with a hooded face.
you cocked your brow. “yes?”
Gaz’s dislike for you had been obvious since day one. since the first moment you heard him speak, he had protested your stay at their base, which didn’t surprise you, but still left you feeling irked in an immature way.
he jerked his head to the hallway. “would you walk with me, ma’am?”
it didn’t sound like a question. turning on his heel sharply, you trailed after him bitterly. even with the pinched displeasure in his tone, he was still as polite as ever. biting down back your tongue, you wondered if the rest of one-four-one thought the same of your mama’s polite manner ingrained in you.
you followed him through several train compartments, a thick uneasiness settling on you from his silent and broad form in front of you, blocking half your sight, but relieved that porter was nowhere to be found. 
as you passed through another lounging car, the sparse spread of people across the plush interior eyed you curiously. one man peered above his newspaper at you, monocles glinting, and mouth skewing into a hard line, eyes shadowed.
you stepped to Gaz a bit closer.
when you reached the end of the first class compartments, he slid open the door that breached between the travel trains and a rusty red boxcar. the steel railway grinding against steel wheels was a louder rhythmic clatter than before.
for a brief moment, you were staggering through the rush of air on the gangway between compartments before Gaz offered you a forearm politely without even a glance. grasping it tightly, his strength was stabilizing, and he pulled you over the gangway and into the safety of the boxcar, your hair whipping in the wind.
several crates littered the space. you had a sneaking suspicion that the both of you weren’t supposed to be there.
Gaz drew the larger door of the boxcar open with a screeching, rumbling tug and dragged a crate an arms length from the edge. he took a seat on the floor, boot dangling just over the gravel tracks that passed below.
“ma’am?” he offered the place on the crate beside you with a gesture and you complied, taking a seat without much question, because there really was nothing else to do on this train.
this train ride bringing you right to your doom, you thought with a grimace.
in the long silence, you overlooked the landscape—there was a sharp dip from the railway into green plains, dotted with purplish vegetation that the sun spilled over with yellow delight
leaning forward to peer at the side of his face, you watched his dark eyes dart over the curve of the passing scenery.
“how did you know about this place?”
the swell of his throat bobbed. his voice sounded tight and airy. nervous. “i wander when i can’t sleep at night.”
you were no stranger to that. you thought back to your first night in the leather crafts shop, the itching anxiety to get out driving you to rummage through the kitchen where Ghost found you. 
pushing the memory from your mind, you tried not to let the apprehension drip into your voice.
“what’s this about, Gaz?”
he shrugged. “just wanted to enjoy the scenery of the land, ma’am.”
your brown quirked. “right. what is this really about?”
he sighed, shifting, his mouth in a sheepish, muddled twist.
“i’m not really sure how I’m supposed to say this ma’am—” your brown quirked again.
you put a hand to his shoulder lightly. “Gaz, for the love of everything good, please stop calling me ma’am.” he glanced at you from his peripheral. “you’re older than me.”
he leaned out of your touch. “right. sorry, miss.”
you bit back your tongue. even though you had just chided at him about his overly zealous formalities, you funnily felt as though you were talking to a nervous little boy with the way he fumbled with the seam of his jeans.
“Gaz, what is this about?” your voice was softened now, trying to coax him out of whatever hole he was digging himself into.
his voice was barely above a grumbling whisper. “Ghost came to me last night.”
you paused, jaw going numb.
sighing, you rubbed a hand over your forehead, smoothing back your hair with unease. “Gaz whatever he told you—”
his voice was soft with awe. “he asked me to marry you.”
the breath stopped dead in your throat, the world spinning at an angle. “what?”
he just nodded slowly, looking as shocked as you felt, his eyes glazed over and wide.
“i know this ain’t the proper way to propose, and when we’re off this train and over with this war, i’ll do it properly i swear, but—”
you held your temple, clutching at the wall of the boxcar. shakily, you pulled yourself to your feet. “stop Gaz. just stop.”
you backed away from the edge and he scrambled up to follow you.
“no, please, just listen—”
“no, you listen.” 
you knew it wasn’t fair to be angry at him. you knew it wasn’t fair, especially with the way he looked so crestfallen, brows pinched and shoulders slumped. 
“if i’m going to be married,” you said with a huff, indignant, “it’ll be on my terms and my terms only.”
he reached a tentative hand out to you, and you let him pick up your palm and press it to his chest.
“i was thirteen when i enlisted for the war.” 
you weren’t looking at him before but you were looking at him now.
he spoke fast and low. “i was an orphan. i didn’t look my age. no one wanted me in london, and the older boys in my orphanage were volunteering for the war. when i signed up, they snuck me in, pulled some strings with the army doctors.” his voice fell to a dead whisper. “i didn’t know what i was getting into.”
you felt stupid when tears welled up in your eyes. he looked so young, so broken in that moment. you wiped at your eyes quickly.
“oh Gaz—”
he let you pull him into a quick, indulgent hug. it was inappropriate and the way his arms hung loosely at his sides felt awkward, but you were grateful he let you do it anyway.
“i owe Ghost my life. i owe him everything. he took care of Soap and i when we were kids. John and Kate too, but they were preoccupied most of the time. Ghost—” he choked with emotion, “Simon was always there.”
it felt almost impossible to imagine a Ghost ten years younger in the militia, around the age you were now, keeping two gangly teens tucked closely to his side on a battlefield, maskless and freer without the malevolent reputation he bore. he wasn’t yet the gunslinging devilish outlaw you knew now. but the image only curled at the edges and soured in your mouth.
you didn’t want to hear this about Ghost.
“you don’t even like me,” you said, blunt, tilting your head up into Gaz’s face. he just looked down at you with an imperceptible face that you couldn’t even begin to pick apart.
then, he sighed, dropping your hand and stepping away.
“maybe not,” he said, voice soft, “but i’d like to try.”
you tried to digest that. “for yourself or for Ghost?”
the empty look he gave you was everything you needed to know. a dead silence followed before it was interrupted.
the boxcar’s far door—from where you had entered—was yanked open, and a member of los vaqueros stepped through.
the front of his jacket was tipped in an oozing red, and he clutched at the spot, shouting out something that you couldn’t understand before the unmistakable vibration of a gun was exploding forth in the air, echoing in the boxcar.
you screamed when his eyes went dark, a thick stream of blood flooding his mustache as he crashed to the floor with a deadly stiffness.
behind him, in the entrance of the doorway, was a man, his revolver raised high. he wore monocles and a twisted expression. you recognized him—the man reading the paper. and his revolver was aimed directly at you. 
Gaz moved fast. much faster than you, as he drew your body behind him, drawing his revolver. before he could even flick his thumb over the safety, a body clad in black whipped forward and reached around the monocled-man’s neck to grip at the collar of an expensive dress shirt. something glinted in the air and it drew over the man’s throat in a quick motion, a red mask gleaming by his cheek.
the monocled-man dropped by the fallen vaqueros.
Ghost straightened to his full height. you watched his eyes dart over Gaz quick—checking for injuries with pinched eyes. you had never noticed him do it before, and you jolted when his hardened gaze snapped to yours.
“we’ve been double-crossed—”
there was a loud, shattering racket from behind him and you saw glimpses of several bodies spill out into the gangway in a tangled fervor. you saw glimpses of Kate’s blonde hair struggling against a man with a disheveled cap and a fashionable black jacket. for a moment you caught his dark eyes, all-encompassing and evil.
the pullman porter.
Gaz rushed forward, revolver raised high, but Ghost only pushed back, driving you through the boxcar and yanking the door open to the next one, revealing another gangway with air spilling over it in dangerous whooshes.
you didn’t have time to think or to feel an ounce of fear, Gaz’s boots hot on your heels and Ghost behind him as they pushed you forward through to the next compartment.
you heard Ghost’s voice in a grit, tight with frustration. “i’m out of ammo,” he explained and Gaz didn’t slow for a second, spurring you further and further forward.
there was a ruminating clamor from behind you. something primal in you roared to life, fear coiling tight and real in your stomach. someone was chasing Ghost, Gaz and you. something primal in you told you it was the pullman porter hunting for you.
heaving the next boxcar’s door with a grit of your teeth, sweat pooled at your back. when you swung out onto the little platform, gripping the railing for purchase, panic rose in you at the sight of railway stretching on and fishing between rolling, green land.
you had reached the end of the train.
that didn’t stop Ghost. he pulled Gaz towards the ladder on the sheer outer wall of the last boxcar.
“up.” you had never seen him so panicked. “go up!”
Gaz immediately complied, spidering up the ladder and out of sight onto the roof of the moving train. when Ghost turned to you, you thought you may puke.
he must’ve seen the blaring alarm in your face because he hoisted you by the waist, yanking you towards the ladder easily. he steadied the trembles of your body with two gloved hands on your waist.
“one step at a time, princess.” there was a ferocity in his eyes. “i’ll catch you if you fall.”
a rush of something gold poured through you, and you steeled yourself, clambering up the rusty ladder rungs one at a time. the wind lashed at your clothes, threatening to steal you out into the open air, but Ghost’s hand was pushing you flush to the ladder against your back. when your boot slipped at the top rung, Ghost hissed, lurching forward, an iron grip at your waist.
at the top of the train, the world felt like it was moving too fast to comprehend. up ahead, a mountain loomed, casting a dark shadow over the train as the sun dipped behind its peak.
“don’t stop,” he commanded, and you scrambled forward, low to the train.
looking over your shoulder, you saw the porter’s head slide over the edge of the boxcar, pulling himself up onto the roof with an eerie ease. he was moving fast, almost full speed.
a revolver glinted in his hand.
Ghost shouted in frustration, hoisting you up by your arm and propelling you into a dead sprint over the train.
one slip, you realized, glancing over the edge of the roof, would send you toppling into the chasmic valley below.
the mountain ahead was approaching rapidly.
Gaz was a few bounds ahead of you, and he turned sharply to shoot at the porter just over your shoulder.
with a yelp, Ghost tugged you down and you flattened against the train. your eyes strained against the noon light and the mountain ahead split into a cave—not a cave, a tunnel.
“Gaz!” you choked out.
he dropped to the train roof with a clumsiness that sent his revolver skidding across the roof and off the edge. the train speared forward into the tunnel, shrouded your vision in a darkness that felt deafening.
Ghost’s hand was inching up your back.
“crawl forward,” he demanded, and you complied, creeping over the cold steel of the roof.
a blinding light ahead advanced, the end of the tunnel in sight.
there was a loud, ricocheting gunshot against the walls of the tunnel, a hot spark of friction against steel flickering in the darkness.
you screamed, Ghost’s hand on the collar of your blouse, as a glaring light enveloped you.
blinking rapidly against the sunlight, eyes burning, you scrambled to your feet with the help of Ghost’s strength.
when your eyes cleared, snapping into a focus, a panic flurried in you at the sight of the end of the train nearing.
you wanted to slow but Ghost kept pushing you forward wordlessly to the end of the train cars.
“where will we go?” you shouted against the violent wind.
a sob almost escaped you when he didn’t respond. Gaz stopped short at the edge of the last compartment, just before the train engine, jacket ruffling wildly in the wind. the look he gave you over his shoulder was one of pure dread.
you jolted when he straightened, barreling past you and Ghost right at the porter hot on your heels.
“Gaz!” Ghost shouted, his low baritone pitched and strained, hand lashing out to pull him back by his jacket but narrowly missing. you turned on your heel in horror.
the porter reeled back in surprise as Gaz tackled him full force to the floor of the train roof. they almost skittered off the edge if it wasn’t for Ghost lunging forward and gripping Gaz by the back of his jacket collar and hoisting him from the edge.
it may have been the weight of their two bodies combined, the rush of the wind, or the clumsiness in Ghost’s blundering, adrenaline drive that caught him off guard for just a moment that the porter took advantage of. he slammed the butt of his revolver into the side of Gaz’s face, and the boy’s entire body fell limp over the porter. 
he scrambled out from under Gaz’s body in a flash, and the scream that tore through your throat was carnal when he seized Ghost’s collar and sprung forward, pushing him right over the edge of the train roof.
Ghost fell with a sickening whoosh, and the speed of the train was already zipping away from his body crumpled against the ground, splayed unnaturally near the train tracks.
you scrambled back on hands and knees, not even sure when you collapsed, Ghost’s body already just a black dot in the distance.
the porter turned to you, the revolver still tight between his knuckles. his eyes were wild.
“who are you?” you screamed over the wind. his face was an ashy dark tone, looking extremely sickly and pale.
“i’m sorry,” he wailed, and you jolted further backwards when tears spilled from his eyes. your palm edged along the brim of the train roof, yelping when your hand almost slipped.
“he said he’d kill me and my family if i didn’t do it.” more tears spilled down his face. “i don’t want to kill anyone.”
his face was twisted up, whole body shaking as he raised the revolver. “but i can’t let my daughter die.”
there was a pop of a safety, and the darkness of his eyes swirling. an imperceptible feeling came crashing down on you—one you couldn’t even begin to describe, an endless downward whirl of dread, acceptance, dread, acceptance.
you thought of Ghost’s body sprawled out by the train tracks in the distance and closed your eyes.
acceptance.
the sound of a strangled cry startled you awake, and the sight of Kate’s arm clasped tight around his neck in his bind sent a whirling electricity down your spine. her blonde hair was wild, eyes even wilder, and she bared her teeth at you in a menacing look.
“for god’s sake, get your useless behind off the ground and help me!”
those familiar words screamed in the back room of the leather crafts shop had you scrambling to life, getting on your hands and knees and launching forward to wrestle the porter for his revolver.
he twisted back, and for a sick moment, you worried Kate would go reeling off the edge too as she dangerously neared it, but she released the porter, using his moment of unbalance as an advantage.
she slammed her hands into his chest and he slid, crashing to the train roof floor, gun clattering to the floor as she fell on top of him. 
you dove for the gun, hand just almost closing around the handle of the thing before the porter twisted over with a surprising strength, dislodging Kate from his body, and pulled it from your grasp.
he gripped it tight, leveling it right to your face, finger on the trigger.
the noise that tore through Kate’s throat was guttural. “no!”
she launched towards you, two strong hands on your arms and pushed you hard. harder than you thought she could, and you tumbled backwards, spirling without direction into free air, and thudding to the forest floor.
something cracked and a numbing pain spread like wildfire from somewhere—your shoulder, body, mind. you couldn’t discern the source of pain, the metrical chug of the train roaring in your ear as it continued on without you.
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you woke with a start, breath hitched up in your throat. tears stained your cheeks.
you didn’t remember crying. your whole face felt numb. in fact, your whole body felt numb, save for the throbbing, searing ache in your shoulder. along the joint, there was a numbness at your fingertips and an unpleasant tingling that ran up and down your arm.
groaning, you strained, trying and failing with great effort to move. you tried again and felt a lace of panic when your stiff body wouldn’t move.
is this what it feels like to die?
desperately trying to move when your body wouldn’t budge?
that sent a burst of sparkling energy through you, and you managed to twist your good shoulder, fingertips digging into the ground to push yourself up. your muscles strained with effort, shaking, but they failed with a spasm, and your head fell back into the dirt.
your temples throbbed.
looking up, you noted the darkening dusk of the day. it had been just noon when you were on the train—how long had you been laying there?
there was a cool blue tinge to the air, the moon cresting over a cloudless sky. an unmistakable shiver went through you. the temperature was dropping by the second.
you had felt the same at home. the desert air lacked a single drop of humidity to maintain the sweltering heat of the day at night, and it was the same here in this california forest, though less pronounced. the result was a plummeting temperature.
the thought of home gave you comfort as you lay there in the dirt.
then, you heard a crunching nearby. of feet. boots, perhaps, and you craned your neck back.
a large, black form loomed in the distance. you wanted to be scared, wanted to be panicking in the moment, but a muffled layer of silence was laid over you like a blanket, a ringing in your ears.
at that moment, you just wanted to sleep.
eyes half-lidded, a masked face slid into your blurry vision overhead. his arms coiled around you, very, very gently lifting you from the ground.
“Ghost,” you gasped, a sharp stabbing in your shoulder that contended with the darkness that threatened to pull you into a slumber.
he just shushed you, the sway of his body rocking with each of his steps along the railroad track.
you didn’t have enough energy to say a thing, forehead throbbing, feeling like there was an invisible band contracting around your head with every movement.
“you’re freezin’,” he said in your ear, but it resonated somewhere very distant.
he curled you closer into his chest and that made you jolt back to life from the sharp sensation racing across your shoulder, biting down on your tongue hard enough to draw blood. 
your vision went hazy for a long moment, ears ringing with a muffled dizziness. the pressure in your head warped when you were being lowered down, to what you assumed, might’ve been the forest floor, leaning you back against something solid and hard and cold.
you gasped when you felt his bare fingertips skimming across the skin of your shoulder beneath your blouse.
he just tutted, muttering something in your ear. you tried to hone on it, but it was so distant and muffled and hazy.
then, he was turning your head from side to side and pressing a cool hand to your forehead. you winced when his hands came back to your shoulder, rubbing over it, one hand to the front and the other cradling your shoulder blade.
he twisted your shoulder with a sickening pop, and you were violently dragged back to your senses.
you bit back a loud scream, keeling over at the waist, everything pouring into your mind at once. the rushing and chitters of the forest, the prickly, dry pine needles beneath your legs, the icy rock at your back, and the acute shadows the moon was casting through the holes of the canopy.
it was too overwhelming. groaning, you screwed your eyes shut and slid down the rock to press your ear to it, your good arm to the other ear.
Ghost’s voice was still too loud through the makeshift covers. “dislocated shoulder,” was all he said, hand tapping against your knee lightly.
his hand stopped tapping. “you hit your head hard as well.”
he reached behind your head and pressed his fingers across your scalp. when he found a sensitive, swollen spot, you squirmed away.
“s’just bruised. no blood.”
you felt like there was blood pouring from your ears.
he pulled you toward him and carefully drew your hand from your ear, replacing it with his gloved ones.
“better?”
there was a pleasant, cool muffle over your ears—pleasant enough to open your eyes.
two earthy brown eyes stared back overshadowed by a strong blonde brow and pale skin—
you yelped, scrambling back onto the rock.
Ghost’s outer masked layer of red was vacant from his face, leaving behind the black fabric beneath it. torn rough, he pulled up the remains of it to reveal the skin of his neck, jaw, and lips.
it left little to imagine. the fabric sat on a high, curved bridge of his nose, and the deep-set of his dark eyes made them appear larger than you believed with the red shell of his mask—owlish almost. and then there were the handsome, strong brows furrowing at you.
he just blinked before inching forward in a crouch, covering your ears with his hands again.
your voice was swollen raw, sounding entirely unlike your own. “your mask…”
he was half-maskless.
“it broke,” he offered with a shrug and a very blank look.
Ghost was half-maskless.
his leather palm sneaked around your ankle.
“how’s your ankle?”
“fine.” you were lying. you couldn’t feel anything save for the painful pulse in your shoulder that throbbed in time with your head.
he nodded but the twitch of his lips made it look as though he wasn’t convinced. peeling back his trench coat, you watched as he easily tore through the sleeve of his dress shirt from his arm.
your breath hitched as he slid forward to wrap it around your shoulder.
“what are you doing?”
“returnin’ the favor.” 
you thought back to two nights ago, when you had clutched at the bullet wound in his stomach, ripping off your own sleeve to desperately stave off the red deluge rushing from it.
he had wanted you to leave him for dead that night.
you stared up into his profile, captivated by the plains and curves of it, a slithering heat running circles in your chest.
when he was finished with the bind, wrapping it around your bicep, up over your shoulder, and tugging it tight with a loop around your breast, he had sat back on his haunches, watching you with quiet eyes.
you watched the pink of his lips twitch, his hands curled into fists at his knees. there was a menacing cold circulating through you, and the softness of his eyes, his face, his lips radiated a warmth—
there were a thousand things running through your mind—
instead, you croaked, “what happened on the train?”
he sighed, turning his gaze from you to the dark forest. “we convened with los vaqueros in yuma before boardin’ the train Kate arranged. the owner of the railway company owed us a debt and we—” he cringed, “—we thought we could trust ‘em. turns out, Turner’s men were on the train with us the whole bloody damn time.”
you swallowed hard, feeling even colder. shivering, you drew your good arm around your body. “the porter?”
he nodded. “a fight broke out after brunch. thought it was just some stupid squabble but they drew guns and hell broke loose.”
he pitched forward, hand coming down to loosely clutch at your knee. “i couldn’t find you.”
you pulled back from his touch and his brows pinched together before falling impossibly blank.
“what were you doing with Gaz?”
you gave him a sidelong glance, fighting back the pout that spilled onto your face. “he proposed to me.”
Ghost stiffened, falling back to his haunches. you cocked your head, watching the stoney look on his face.
“and what did you say?”
you scoffed. “none of your business.”
that’s what you wanted to believe, but it seemed that Ghost had one foot in your business at all times, and you didn’t know if you liked it or not.
the absolute image of indifference in his face had a low, simmering anger crawl up your back.
“he doesn’t even like me,” you hissed, remembering the way Gaz would lean away from your touch in the boxcar, stepping back when he felt too close.
you lamented deeply, wondering, why would he want you to marry Gaz?
Ghost’s voice was even. too even. “he’ll marry you if i ask. he feels like he owes a large debt to me.”
your breath hitched, a hot, tight feeling choking your throat. “do you always exert yourself over others like that?”
his voice turned icy, eyes narrowed. “like what?”
you almost snarled. “you’re using Gaz to your advantage—”
“you don’t know Gaz,” he snapped, before adding in a low timbre, “or me.”
his words shouldn’t have hurt you as much as they did because you knew that he was right. you almost knew nothing about the man in front of you. he was an imperceptible enigma you’d only met five days ago, and yet you felt as though you knew him better than anyone in the world, all his tell-tale habits, the facade of his stoicism, the warmth beneath…
it was nothing like the cold, sour feeling curling in the air between you and Ghost right now.
with a humph, you clambered to your feet, an angry immaturity brewing above the grief that pinched at your nerves. he didn’t move from his position on the floor, eyes hard and staring.
you hiked up your skirt ungraciously and began to move in a random direction in the forest.
“what are you doing?” he called from behind you. there was a satisfaction hearing the annoyance lashing in his tone.
“i’m sorry, sir, but i don’t know you,” you gritted back loudly, not even looking over your shoulder. “i don’t talk to strangers.”
the forest was tipped deep into the night now, a murky dark surrounding you. it was hard to make out the stretching, slithering forms of the underbrush that swayed in the breeze. but you were too angry to feel scared.
after a long bout of silence, and several more bounds of your indignant act, your anger waned into worry.
what if Ghost did leave you in this forest? he was giving you up to Turner as soon as you reached san francisco—because you were useless to him now. so what was stopping him from just leaving you to the darkness of the woods?
to the coyotes?
you shivered, and allowed yourself a glance over your shoulder. you shrieked with a jolt at the sight of him looming just a couple steps behind you, looking impossibly large in the stretched shadows of the forest, and moving with an eerie silence.
he huffed. “what? did i scare you, princess?”
you whipped your head back in front of you, hiking up your skirt higher to step over a log. “sorry. i don’t know you.”
“so stubborn,” he mumbled, and you shrieked again when he wrapped an arm around your waist to hoist you over the log with ease. you swatted him away.
“i can do it myself,” you griped, turning sharp on your heel in another direction. he just sighed, trailing after you, steps noisy against the twigs and pine needles underfoot. 
when he knocked his boot against a tree, you could tell the noise was purposeful—making sure not to scare you. it didn’t quell your anger any less.
“do you even know where you’re going?”
that was a stupid question. no, you didn’t.
“yes,” you said instead.
he made a noise between a grumble and groan. “i didn't mean for Gaz to propose so soon.”
that made you stop dead in your tracks.
“i wanted…” he trailed off. you didn’t want to look at him for fear that he may see the tears welling in your eyes. there was nothing but the rustling woosh of leaves streaming through the canopy.
you jolted when you felt the tip of his nose press into the back of your head, voice impossibly deep. “he’s younger. he’s polite. he doesn’t care about purity.”
you heard him swallow. “he’s a good man to marry.”
you screwed your eyes shut, feeling a bothersome wetness come down your cheeks. “that’s not your decision to make.”
his voice was gruff, raw. “i know.”
sighing out, you turned to him slowly, finding a morose and withdrawn scowl twisting his face. he swiped a thumb over your tears.
“how would i have even married him anyway?” you asked in a low tone, surprised by the ice of it. “you would’ve handed me over to Turner the second we landed in san francisco.”
speaking it aloud yourself made the reality of it so much more crushing than hearing Kate say it that morning.
“to keep you safe,” Ghost hissed, eyes flashing with a clenched jaw. after your train escapade, you recognized the expression as something bordering on panic.
“safe?” you scoffed, “with Turner?”
he just shook his head. “Turner’s men outnumber us. with your parents, you’d at least be protected—”
you lurched forward, grabbing the collar of his dress shirt, shoulder aching in protest.
“with Turner!” you articulated, voice rung through with frustration. “i would be his mistress. he could… we would…”
the suggested words went unsaid and Ghost’s flashed—this time with something dark and imperceptible.
“i would kill him before it even got to that,” he said, mouth drawn into a hard life, deadly serious as he grasped your hands on his collar.
“and then what? after the war is over, i leave my parents again and Gaz sweeps me off my feet?” you pressed, trying and failing over and over to pick apart the expression on Ghost’s face.
your anger deflated, words falling flat and soft. “where would you go? back to southern california?”
he just stared at you, and you felt your heart drop. “Ghost? where would you go?”
he looked away from you, fixing on a distant point, and pried your hands from his collar. “i don’t plan on making it that far.”
oh. you gazed at the vacancy of his eyes, the clench of his jaw. he wasn’t planning on making it out the war alive.
your skin felt hot all over, and you lurched forward to jab a finger in his chest and make him look at you. 
“to hell with that.”
but he wouldn’t meet your eyes. “it doesn’t matter now. you won’t be going anywhere near Turner.”
now, he pinned you down with a hard look, and you reeled back a bit. “what?”
“the porter,” he chewed out, brow furrowing, “he was trying to kill you.”
your mind whirled. that’s right—you remembered what he said, tears in his eyes when he cornered you at the end of the train.
he said he’d kill me and my family if i didn’t do it.
he had obviously been Turner. you swallowed, remembering the next slew of his words.
but i can’t let my daughter die.
he, a pullman porter with an inadequate paycheck, had risked everything, including his life, for his daughter. you couldn’t say the same for your own father.
you held your forehead, feeling the throbbing pulse of it through your fingertips. “why would Turner want to kill me?”
desperately, you trained every fiber of your mind to run through the notion, coming up with absolutely nothing in the end. you balked. that almost never happened.
Ghost’s thoughtful silence seemed to mirror yours.
but he just huffed, brushing a knuckle to your cheek briefly. “you’re a smart girl. i’m sure you’ll figure it out.”
rolling your eyes, you pushed his hand away, a tugging ire in your stomach. “so what now?”
he turned on his heel, giving you a lax look over his shoulder. “we walk to san francisco.”
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it turned out that Ghost was a lot more hurt than he made you believe. you had walked a mile through the dark, led by his broad shadowed form and, with the practiced strike of a match, a torch he coaxed to life until you returned to the divide in the forest where the railway drove a split through the plains.
its pathway was ignited with moonlight, and you walked in silence, nothing but crunching gravel underfoot, till you reached a freshwater lake embedded in a softly swaying field that lingered a couple hundred feet from the railway.
Ghost had stripped the bushes of gooseberries and currants along the way, giving you a brief grumbling explanation—we used to eat ‘em during the spanish-american war.
you could imagine Soap and Gaz popping them in their mouths as gawky teenage boys, laughing along the way and a quiet, stoic Simon in their tow. 
you ate them slowly, watching Ghost set up a fire with an ease to the task but with strange shuffling movements whenever he turned. you cocked your head. he wouldn’t twist his body.
“Ghost,” you called, and he didn’t even look at you. “why are you moving like that?”
in your stupor through the forest, or maybe the low lighting of the night, you hadn’t noticed it before. using another one of the matches stowed in the breast pocket of his trench coat, he bent down and blew on the small flame, blooming it to life over a nest of tinder. when it crackled and popped, and he added bigger branches to the fire, you moved closer, shivering in the dark, and spread the collected berries over an unsoiled rock.
your jaw clenched. “Ghost.”
he ignored you again, instead stepping back from the fire and turning so all you saw was the shadow of his back as he discarded his trench coat. then unbuttoning his vest and shirt, he shucked them off, tossing them to the ground by his other clothes. you gasped at the mottled, purple swell of his bare back.
from the bottom of his shoulder blades to his lower back, he was covered in bruises.
“is it bad?”  he looked over his shoulder at you. you couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic or not.
your mouth fell open and then closed. “yes. very.”
then he turned, and the fire illuminated yellow and green bruises littered across his ribs and the angry red, puckered stiches across his lower abdomen. your stomach dropped. they looked worse than the last you had seen them—on the bed in the train.
he brushed a knuckle over his ribs and winced. “i think they’re broken.”
you looked up at him with a pinched expression and he raised his brows, mouth twitching with a huff. you hated that he looked amused.
“worried about me?”
you turned to the fire again. “no.”
there was more rustling from behind you and an unmistakable clink of a belt. you screwed your eyes shut and willed yourself not to look back. there was a thud against the grass by your hand, and you looked down to see his boots discarded by the fire. you saw his foot just behind it and a bare calf that turned and padded down the slope to the small lake.
you wanted to scream. “what are you doing?”
he called out, “care for a swim, princess?”
you narrowed your eyes. no, you didn’t.
“it’s improper for men and women to bathe together.”
you just barely looked over your shoulder, watching him in your peripheral. his naked back shone in the moonlight, a white glow cast over the bruises and scars of his back before it slowly descended into the water. he reclined against some rocks, arms spread wide and head lolled back.
“lots of things between men and women are improper to you, princess.”
a strangled noise of frustration left your throat. “what if your stitches get infected?”
he shrugged. at this point, a sliver of the darkness in you hoped they did get infected for not heeding your warning.
standing to your full height, you turned to him, looking over the expanse of the lake, and then the darkness of his lazy eyes trained on you.
you watched him swallow, blonde lashes illuminated by the firelight, he spoke considerably softer, “you looked lovely this morning.”
that morning, when you had dolled yourself up, a pretty, airy skirt and flowery blouse and makeup and all, telling yourself that you wanted to look like the sun after such an awful night. maybe it was for yourself, or maybe it was for Ghost. the latter you would never admit.
but now, you realized, more than anything, the act was for your own bout of revenge. to watch Ghost’s face twist at the sight of you—someone he couldn’t have.
you, who would never let him have you again.
at that thought, you gave him a pretty smile like you were bashful, and the way his eyes widened in surprise was a crush of satisfaction.
but you kept up the act, intent on playing with him. if Ghost had taken so much from you for revenge, you didn’t see why you couldn’t do the same. the idea had a twinge of displeasure curling under your skin. but thinking back to last night had you angry all over again.
“i’m still angry at you,” you said instead, crossing your arms and turning like you were mad. in all technicality you were. 
very.
his voice was low. “you’ve got something on your face.”
what?
“what?” you voiced, head whipping to him.
he cocked his head. “your hair too…” he squinted like he was trying to see you better. “it’s a mess.”
you scoffed. this was not going according to your plans.
“well i’m sorry i don’t look my best after falling off a train—”
“and your clothes too.” his dark eyes raked over your body. “all ruined.”
you looked down at the state of your clothes, torn in places and stained in others. the hem of your skirt was a very discolored smear of brown.
“looks like you’ll have to take them off,” he said with a casual shrug.
your jaw dropped open. “you…”
you searched for the words you couldn’t find. “you’re awful.”
with a nod he said, “just as bad as the devil.”
narrowing your eyes, you gave him a sidelong look. was this another one of his revenge ploys? another way to get you undressed and take another sliver of your innocence?
he shifted on the rocks, arms spread along the wide berth of the bank, and beneath the water you saw his knees tip wide. he cocked his head at you.
an invitation.
of which you could easily say no to, if you liked, but just as much as he tried to trick you, the devil wasn't foolproof. you could weasel your way into one of those cracks and trick him instead if you wanted to. and in that moment, you decided you did.
with the calmest look you could muster, you took off the makeshift sling of your shoulder, and unclipped the back of your blouse, sliding it from your torso with ease and letting it fall to the ground. between the laxness of your face, you glanced at Ghost who, you noticed with disappointment, looked absolutely undisturbed until your gaze trailed down his exposed arm and to the clutch of his hand in a tight fist.
suppressing a smirk, you dropped your holster, then the delicate pink skirt and moved to unlace the back of your corset. you undid it as fast as your aching shoulder could let you, watching the way the warm glow of the fire danced in his black eyes.
the corset fell to the ground, and his head was perked up now, eyes going impossibly dark, as you pulled down the last of your undergarments—completely bare in the moonlight.
but his eyes never left yours, didn’t even look down to your body, as you stepped carefully forward over the pebbled lake bank, heart thundering in your throat. you kept your hands in fists to keep yourself from covering your body, shivering when a gust danced over the field.
as you sank into the water, you were surprised to find it not so unbearably cold, avoiding Ghost’s gaze entirely as you neared him, close enough so that you could feel his foot brush against your calf under the water.
he looked up with hooded eyes, chin close to his chest, breath shallow and wanting—
but you waded right past him to a spot on the rocks a good distance away. you were close enough to see his eyes narrow in your peripheral. 
“what are you planning, princess?”
you shot him a glare. “i’m still mad at you.”
he cocked his head. “are you trying to tease me?”
you sucked in a breath entirely by accident, and you knew it was the most telling answer in the way he shifted over the rocks with an infuriating smirk.
feeling bitter, you asked with a sourness, “are you still trying to bed me for revenge?”
he went completely still at that and you turned your head away from him, looking over the field into the forest. in the distance, those mountains loomed on the horizon, looking like a large void that spearheaded the sky. you tipped your head back, clutching onto yourself, and looked up to the stars that splattered like bright, white paint over the sky.
like the white paint you had splattered over the pale blue wallpaper of your room when you were child, and your mama had lost half of her mind at the sight.
that thought only soured your mood more. there were tears in your eyes now.
biting back a string of unholy curses, you tucked your head away, really hoping Ghost wasn’t looking at you, but you knew he was when there was a moving rush of water as he stood
you could hear him near you, till he was standing over your crumpled form, his hand brushing along your neck.
“can i?”
you should’ve said no. absolutely not.
your plans to fool the devil had gone absolutely wrong. you glanced up at him, the softness of his face, his big hand moving to brush over your injured shoulder. 
you should say no.
with your curt nod, he sank down into the water beside you, and pulled you flush against the warmth of his body, and you just melted into him, your arms curled against his chest, shoulder aching in reply.
you pressed your forehead to his shoulder, embarrassed when wet, warm tears slid from your cheeks, the tip of your nose, and jaw to his skin.
“your ribs…” you sniffled, trying not to lean so hard against his torso when he was practically crushing you to him. but he only wound around you tighter, pressing some of your hair to his face.
your heart ached at the familiar gesture.
“so you are worried about me then?” his eyes glinted but the sullen look on his face quelled any humor in them.
you closed your eyes, basking in the warmth. “i’m always worried about you.”
when there was a long silence, you felt him tap your nose lightly.
“what are you thinking about in that pretty head of yours?”
your mind flashed with more images of your mama. “my mama.”
he hummed, digging his nose in your hair. “tell me.”
you sucked in your lower lip between your teeth, draping yourself over him with an ease. “my mama used to get so mad at me all the time.”
you couldn’t help the smile on your lips. “i used to paint on the walls in my bedroom when my nanny wasn’t there and my mama was busy. it drove her crazy.”
“yeah?” he smoothed his thumb over your cheek, and you opened your eyes, finding yourself cradled in his arms and the tip of his nose inches from yours, dark gaze lapping over you in warm waves.
you wanted to drown in them.
“you have pretty eyes,” you told him, feeling your eyelids droop. “kind of angelic.”
he huffed a laugh. “i thought i was the devil?”
“you only want me to think that,” you said dreamily, losing a whole reign of control over your tongue, “satan was an angel once too.”
he pressed his lips to your ear.
“so what’ll it be? devil or angel?”
“s’up to you,” you whispered, clutching at the wet planes of his muscled chest, “are you going to use me for revenge?”
“no,” he said immediately, though his voice was calm. “not again.”
you weren’t exactly sure if that made it any better. 
you could hear his bated breath—the way it was shallow, and sharp. he turned his head away from yours. you caught a glimpse of his blonde lashes curling from the shadow of his black mask.
“what are you hiding from me?”
it was a question you knew he wouldn’t answer as he helped you up from the cold water, wrapping an arm around your bare waist and leading you back to the fire. he just stretched out, completely bare, over a big flat rock embedded in the bank, and orange glow over his skin, and pulled you down to nestle into his side, letting the waves of heat emanating from the fire settle over the both of you like a heavy blanket.
his hand came down in featherlight touches over the curves of your body, trailing up the back of your thighs, to your back, to your neck where he pressed his lips. then his fingertips spidered across your wounded shoulder.
his voice sounded fragile. “i’ll never let anyone hurt you again.”
even you? you wanted to ask, tracing the pleasing curves of his face with your gaze.
you brushed your knuckle along the strength of his jaw, the curve of his nose, his lips…
he just peered at you with dark eyes, blinking gently, pressing the most gentle kiss to the corner of your lips that had you falling into another slumber.
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Ghost watched your eyes flutter close, waiting till your breath went deep and even, before he even tried to pry himself away from you.
it was hard to not stay. the inviting warmth of your body warmed his cold heart.
he watched the swell of your chest rise and fall, brushing a hand over the softness of your abdomen. the fire light danced across your peaceful face, the plushness of your parted lips, your hair…
god he loved your hair.
but he pulled away, carefully shifting you in a comfortable position over the rock, where you curled up in his absence. he sat up, wincing from the slide and crunch of his ribs beneath his skin, the sore thrum of the bruises up his back, and listened to make sure the lull of your breath was still even and calm.
then, he tore off his mask and balled it up in his fist.
what the hell was he doing?
he inched further away from you, putting a marginal difference between your bare body and his. but you shivered and something inside him jolted with a stupid, muddled flurry.
quickly, he reached for his trench coat near the fire and laid it over you, feeling a full, fuzzy feeling when you stopped shaking. it was strange. he couldn’t put a single word to the feeling but he knew it was something foreign, something dangerous…
something he couldn’t afford.
but your soft voice was always running circles in his head, and it echoed back out to him.
are you going to use me for revenge?
he sighed out long and hard, tapping his balled up first to his forehead. more of your voices clambered into his weak mind.
do you always exert yourself over others like that?
liar.
i hate you.
liar, liar, liar.
liar, liar, liar, liar—
and you were right. you were almost always right with that brilliant mind of yours, he thought with a twinge of wonder.
Ghost was a liar. he was lying to you, and he was lying to himself most of all. and he knew it too.
“liar.” the word was becoming melded into your tongue. “you want to use me for revenge. is that all i’m useful for, then?” your throat cracked open, wide and full of emotion. “i’m just for your revenge? did you bed me for revenge?”
his gaze was half-lidded, tired. “yes.”
why had he lied like that?
he watched the side of your peaceful, youthful profile. he allowed himself to reach over and wrap his trench coat around you snugger, content when you exhaled deep, and stroked slowly at your hair. you looked so young. too young.
why had he lied like that?
he knew why. but he didn’t want to admit to that either.
instead, he picked himself up, muffling a groan as his stiff body worked itself to move, and kicked his clothes into a pile over the dirt. then, he reached for your own and folded them neatly into a pile by the fire to warm them by the time you woke.
maybe, he thought to himself, trying to be a sliver of an honest man, if he told you that you were right and that he was a liar, you would forgive him. 
or maybe he would have to beg on his knees for your sweet forgiveness until the day he died.
he wouldn’t mind.
he jolted at his own thoughts, beating them down till they were a silent pulp in his mind.
he knew he wasn’t going to make it out of this war. that knowledge only soured the feeling unfurling in his chest, every thump of his dead heart aching with effort. 
Turner was gunning for him and only him at this point—he was the brand mark of one-four-one. the mask was a tell-tale sign of who he was. even if, in the beginning, it had only been to preserve his anonymity, it ended up becoming an infamous emblem that became an endlessly useful tool of intimidation wherever he went—for business or more violent affairs.
he took a knife sheathed in the outer pocket of his trench coat, making sure not to wake you, and pressed his mask to the rock, cutting out the lower torn portion of it so that it was only half the piece of fabric it was previously.
maybe when he had lied to you about his true intentions one night ago, even if he wasn’t thinking, he knew it’d be easier to break your heart if you hated him. 
because he knew if you didn’t hate him, you’d never leave his side, and he wouldn’t be able to protect you like he wanted to when Turner killed him, and you’d be left…where?
hopefully as Gaz’s bride, he thought morosely.
he couldn’t forget what you said last night—i would’ve been married.
even if he knew that was your own lie, if that was what you wanted, he would give that to you as best as a dead man could.
because the truth was—
you were precious. like porcelain glass. all those nights ago, when you first laid together, he was never planning on touching you. even when he first took you, he was never planning on touching you. least of all for revenge.
not even when he first saw your pretty eyes go wide at the sight of him walking into your daddy’s saloon, in that beautiful blue skirt of yours and the loose clutch of your blouse exposing an indecent amount of your dewy skin when you leaned down. not even when your hands trembled, body just shivering in his proximity. you told him you weren’t scared. he didn’t believe you until you gave him everything that first time.
now, he chided himself for taking anything at all. hated himself for it even. he wanted to be…
dead.
he ruffled at his matted hair, screwing his eyes shut before pulling back on the mask. everything in him quieted—the confusion, the thoughts, the circling endless regret having him bite at his own tail.
it wasn’t one-four-one’s plan to get you personally involved in their lives. when you showed up at the base, it was like you had single-handedly wedged the knife of your innocence into the bottled up lot of them, and pried the can wide open. John, Kate, and Soap adored you. and Ghost had seen the way Gaz looks at you.
or at least he thought that he had. maybe it was his own jealousy contorting his thoughts.
jealousy, he cringed, flipping the knife in his hands, why would he be jealous?
the rustling in the woods answered him, and he twisted around on his haunches, ignoring the stabbing pain blooming into his lungs, and watched something prowl out onto the far clearing of the field. a long snout furrowed deeply at him, and the coyote drew back its upper lip, fangs glinting in the moonlight with a growl.
Ghost only stared back, gripping at the knife tightly, leaning forward onto his fingertips to cover your sleeping form with his body, muscles bunched to spring forward at any moment.
the coyote only crept forward a bit more, lapping at the very edge of the water at the lake, before retreating backwards, ears flattened to its head as it disappeared into the shrouded darkness of the treeline. its tail was tucked in between its legs.
maybe even coyotes were afraid of the devil.
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the next morning you woke, Ghost was up, dressed, and fiddling with a knife in his hands. he was perched on the rock beside you, staring off into the horizon and looking pensive which was… uncharacteristic of him.
the fire was put out, embers still burning as a trail of smoke wafted up into the thin morning light.
your stomach growled.
Ghost’s head turned down to look at you and he pushed back the hair from your face with just his glove fingertips. “hungry?”
you nodded, feeling a bit embarrassed, and shifted to sit up beneath his trench coat with a shiver. the rock beneath you still felt a tad warm from the fire last night, but it had cooled, leaving your bare backside feeling numb.
“here,” Ghost offered, shifting in that awkward movement of his to keep the pressure of his wounds, you noticed with a twinge in your heart. he gestured to an array of things spread out over the far rock by the far littered with the berries he collected last night, now coupled with pale looking tubers.
you rubbed at your eyes with a yawn. “you cooked last night?”
he nodded. “wild parsnips.”
they were peeled and cut carefully off the top. he gave you an expectant look, and you supposed he thought you would take them, but instead you shifted over the rock again, shivering with the breeze at your back.
“can i change?” you asked meekly, and he blinked.
“‘course.” he handed you the pile of your clothes folded neatly by the fire, and with a blush, you noticed they were warm.
had he done that on purpose?
“thank you,” you said, looking up at him with a smile, but he just looked away with an indifferent huff, poking at the parsnips with his knife.
he turned his back as you redressed in your ruined clothes, rebounded your shoulder in the sleeve of his dress shirt to the best of your ability, and joined him for breakfast. you split the berries and parsnips into groups—trying and failing to give him a larger portion to compensate for his muscled stature and severe wounds, but he pointedly refused without so much as a bat of his eye and a deep scowl, and when you pressed, he ignored you entirely.
when you both finished a portion of the food, he kicked over the fire and made sure the embers were doused, before you set off across the plains back in the direction of the railway. Ghost told you, from the last time he checked with the conductor, that the train was fifteen miles from san francisco.
you’d be walking the whole day, sure, but it was better than you could’ve hoped for. testing your shoulder with a swing, there was still a sharp ache to it, and you winced, ignoring the side glance Ghost gave you.
you were worried more for his wounds anyway.
about two hours into the trek, you could hear the rasp of his breath and the shallow nature of it. his hands clenched and unclenched by his sides.
“Ghost,” you called, “i think you should take a rest.”
you weren’t even surprised when he chose to ignore you. 
“Ghost,” you repeated, rephrasing your words in a careful deadpan, “i’m tired. i want to rest.”
at that, he stopped with a curt nod, and you both moved to sit in the grassy bank by the railway. he sat with a stiffness and slowly stretched back out over the incline of the slope, hands behind his head and eyes closed. you sat with your chin tucked between your knees beside him. you knew him too well to see that he was playing pretend.
“Simon.” he jolted at the word. “let me see your ribs.”
he opened his eyes and looked at you, lips in a stale line. “they’re fine, princess.”
you rolled your eyes, moving to do it yourself. he hissed with protest when you began to unbutton his vest and you shushed him with a harshness that had him falling silent. you undid his dress shirt next and pushed the fabric aside, gasping at the sight of them.
it was worse. much worse. the strange patches of yellow and green bruises stretched over his rubs had become darker, more pronounced, and a swollen, madly red purple. looking down to his bullet wound, you almost wanted to faint.
it was bright red—angry and puffy with a crust of yellow goop around it. you gasped again.
“Simon this looks—”
infected.
he just stared up at you. the absolute indifference on his face had you balling up your hand in a fist and smacking him lightly over the head with it.
he flinched, reeling away from you with a scowl. “what was that for?”
“your lack of desire for self-preservation irks me,” you shot back, and settled over his hips with your thighs in a bind around him. you could feel him stiffen beneath you.
“i told you it’d get infected if you swam in that lake water.”
very gently, you traced your hands up his torso, and with a twisting impulsiveness, you leaned down to kiss the swell of chest, pressing down into its brawn. then you kissed up his neck, his jaw, his cheek.
maybe each kiss would make him better like in those books you used to read as a child.
he huffed out, and you looked up to meet his half-lidded gaze, swirling and dark and tinged with a lazy hunger. “are you teasing me again?”
you blinked up at him, and he reached down to press a thumb to your lower lip.
“i’m distracting you. is it working?”
he smirked. “too well, ” he hummed, before sighing out, “you’re too good to me, lovely.”
you nodded. “i know.”
pitching forward, you gently pecked that silvery scar on his upper lip and he jolted, breath going more shallow than before. when you leaned back, watching his expression with a fit of anxiety rolling around in your stomach, you watched him lick over his upper lip like he was tasting you.
the jittery feeling in your stomach turned into something else entirely.
“quit bloody teasin’,” he chided, pulling you back down to him and pressing his nose to your ear, face smushed against your hair.
you bit back a snicker and rubbed at the back of his neck. typical Simon.
so easy to please, so easy to make him surrender. 
usually, an ill-tempered voice in you said, flashes of the coldness of his tone, face, body on your bed in the train seeping into your mind. 
remembering yourself, you pulled away and stood again. he watched you with an owlish blink—a look of confusion and question that you chose to ignore as he pushed off the ground to trail after you and back down the railway.
for the next couple of hours of aimless walking, nothing eventful happened, save for Ghost randomly brushing along the edge of the forest, poking around amongst the foliage. you shared few glances and even fewer words, but that didn’t make it uncomfortable. 
in fact, as you eyed the side of his handsome profile, black trench coat fluttering softly in the wind, you wanted this to last forever.
right now, you were just two people in the woods. no war. no gangs. no guns. no violence.
even if he had hurt you.
you stepped closer to him, catching the fabric on the back of his elbow, but he barely even glanced at you when your hand slid down his forearm and pushed shyly into his hand. he easily swallowed your hand in his, lacing your fingers together tightly and squeezing.
later, he pulled out a couple of leaves from the inner pocket of his trench coat and offered them to you. mint, he had explained, chewing on the herbage, it staves off hunger.
you would need it by the time noon came and your stomach was growling again. you both stopped by the tracks to finish the last of the berries and cooked parsnips, chewing more mint Ghost picked from the underbrush of the forest.
the glare of the sun had waned by the time you reached the afternoon, and the railway seemed to stretch on forever, sloping over hills, cutting through landscape, till the trek flattened and the woods drew even tighter to the railway, trees towering overhead.
finally, you reached a crossroads in the railway, where a paved road cleaved through the woods, and on the horizon, revealed a sprawling skyline of buildings—smoke billowing above it, and a strange sort of humming raucous drifting across the terrain.
the sound of it made you apprehensive, and you eyed the hazy gray film in the air. you had never seen such a large town—city, would be better perhaps. you stopped in the road.
Ghost’s shoulder brushed your own. “what’s wrong?”
you squirmed with discomfort in your spot. “what is that?”
he squinted at the horizon. “s’a city.”
just as you suspected. but it didn’t make you any less reproachful. “i’ve only seen them in picture books,” admitted, sniffing the air. “it stinks.”
he gave you a twisted smile. “you should see manchester. my father used to work in the factories.”
your eyes widened, and he just kept walking, leaving you scrambling to catch up. “your father?”
he nodded. “my father.”
“and where is manchester?” you pressed, prying for more out of him, as you peered at the side of his face which was trained on the road ahead.
“england. s’where i grew up.”
you snuck your hand into his again. “did you have siblings?”
his grip stiffened around your hand. “an older brother. Tommy.”
your mouth opened and closed, watching the way his shoulders were tightened now. he obviously didn’t want to talk about either of them, you thought weakly, mourning, and instead changed the subject.
“what was it like in manchester?”
he glanced at you. “dreadful. i never want to go back again.”
“besides…” his thumb brushed against your palm. “i have everything i need in america.”
you nodded slowly, trying to chew that information, and desperately wanting more.
from behind, a growing assortment of noises approached you quickly, the clopping of hooves at your back, and Ghost drew an arm around you as he pulled you off the road. a horse and buggy bumbled down the road with a friendly looking coachman in the driver’s seat. 
he had a scraggly white beard and a fray of white hair strewn over his balding head, a big toothy grin, and a beet, splotchy redness to his entire face.
“hullo there!” he called, slowing his horses as he neared. Ghost’s arm went tighter around you.
“hello sir,” he said with a politeness you didn’t know he could have.
“s’a beamin’ day, is it not?” the man’s eyes mosied up and down your body but not in a rude way. you suddenly felt embarrassed by the state of your clothes and crossed your arms over your torso.
Ghost shook his head. “it’s been awful.”
“oh?” the man leaned in, apparently unperturbed by the mask covering half of Ghost’s face. “pray tell, what happened to you folk?”
“we were comin’ down the same path as you last night,” Ghost said, tipping his hat to the place down the road. “and a couple of coyotes came out of the woods.”
you stared at him. coyotes?
where did that come from?
“scared our horses half to death and they went ballistic. tipped over our buggy and everything and galloped off into the woods.”
the man gasped, spluttering. “heavens! how can i help you kind folk?”
Ghost paused like he was apprehensive. you cocked a brow at how easily the act came to him. “well, we were just trying to make our way to san francisco.”
“well i can do that, no problem!” the man said, scooting over his buggy to make more room. “i’m headin’ there right now to visit the ol’ missus.”
“Ghost,” you whispered, feeling a panic when he pushed you forward gently. “can we trust him?”
“unless you wanna walk another two miles, lovely,” he shot back, though not unkindly, as he dipped his head politely to the man in the buggy.
hesitating, you stepped forward towards the thing.
“this yer lovely missus?” he said with a friendly smile, and Ghost nodded.
“my lady.”
you wanted to smack him.
“howdy, ma’am,” the man said to you, offering a polite hand to shake. you stretched up to the buggy and took it with a tight-lipped smile.
“nice to meet you, sir,” you said, voice coming out weaker than you intended and he only grinned wider.
“well climb on in!”
you hesitated. it was only a two-person carriage, and Ghost might barely be able to squeeze into the space left that the other man left. looking back at Ghost over your shoulder, he just squeezed your waist softly, and slid around you to step up into the buggy himself.
rude, you thought with a huff, but only realized his intent once he was settled in the thing. he spread his arms as an invitation, one hand held out for you to climb into his lap.
his raised his brows at you. you looked from him to the beaming man beside him, something twinkling like knowing in his beady eyes, and you bit back a sigh, taking Ghost’s big hand and letting him pull you onto his lap.
you sat on one of his broad thighs, his chest flush to your back. he snaked an arm around your middle and kissed your cheek softly, hand still intertwined with yours.
you dug your nails into the glove of his palm in warning, withering in his arms, and wholly enjoyed it when he winced. 
the man beside you sighed out but it sounded happy. 
“oh, i remember the days when i just married my missus!” he said dreamily, hitching the horses with a snap of the reins.
Ghost chuckled in your ear, and you sent him a scowl over your shoulder when the other man wasn’t looking, but he only smiled wider, pulling the hair from your shoulder to kiss the back of your neck.
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you stood on the edge of the street, bidding the kind stranger goodbye as he drew away from the sidewalk, hitching his horses down the wide san francisco avenue.
entering the city had been an enigma for you. it was even stranger now.
people littered the street. too many people. your mama had let you go to a bigger town now and then near your home with the girls from church, but never too far. she had said it was the role of your future husband to expose you to such harrowing conditions.
standing in the midst of one of the largest cities on the western coast, you could better understand what she meant. women and men sauntered down the road in tight-knight groups, business men in three-piece suits and bowler caps shot past you, and a slew of buggies blundered down the streets that Ghost guided you through.
some peered weirdly at the mask but most didn’t even care to notice at all—didn’t even look up from the point they were trained on getting to. 
in all honesty, you found their behavior quite rude as they passed you.
watching a woman in a pastel, flowing dress with pearls adorning her ears and neck, and silk gloves drawn to her elbows, she had her arm linked with a man with a well-trimmed mustache and pristine suit.
feeling strangely exposed, you inched closer to Ghost and linked your arm with his as well. you looked up at him with wide eyes, a whine building in your throat.
you were uncomfortable. very. very uncomfortable.
he huffed, taking your arm in his. “city life overwhelming you, princess?”
you nodded blearily, wincing when a man almost brushed against you through a tight pass on the sidewalk. you had never been flanked by so many people.
“what about Turner’s men? what if they recognize you?” you whispered out, curling closer to him, and he just shook his head. 
“they won’t without the mask.”
right. you had become so accustomed to the revealing nature of his black mask that you had completely forgotten about the broken, bloody skull layer of it.
you passed through more blocks, buildings scraping the sky so high that you felt dizzy and small. 
you craved to be out in the wide array of the demanding western landscape again. you wished you were still walking along that railroad, chewing mint leaves, and your hand in Ghost’s.
eventually, the skyscrapers dwindled into crumpled, shorter, dingy buildings and the avenues tightened into busy marketplaces. but it was different than you had ever seen before.
men wore linen suits—in grays and blacks with small hooped knots down the front—and bowlers caps. some women wore dark blouses with loose sleeves and low collars that gleamed in the evening’s light, curling with patterns of clouds and the fine leaves of bamboo, and flowing bright skirts over heeled shoes that looked binding.
Ghost watched your face closely, and you slowly turned in the spot. you had never seen a culture that wasn’t of your small western hometown before. “where are we?” you asked him, voice tinged in awe, and he put a hand to your lower back and led you down the busy market street.
“this is chinatown,” he said, and you just nodded slowly, trying and failing to digest it all.
“why are we here?” you pressed, and Ghost pushed you further towards a big brick building at the end of the road that dwarfed the dingy places beside it, a throng of people swarming in front of it.
“Turner’s men won’t come here,” he explained, seeming utterly casual. “they think the bubonic plague’s still lingering.”
you stiffened. “plague?”
he nodded. “it came through san francisco in 1900. it’s been gone for years but Turner doesn’t think so.”
“why not?”
he gave you a sidelong look but his voice was soft. “why do you think, lovely?”
feeling saddened, you gave him a meek look and he just smiled, brushing your cheek with his knuckles briefly. “smart girl.”
when you entered the building, there was a reception at the front and a large folding divider with intricate ink brushes over its surface shrouding the rest of the narrow establishment from view. the interior was extravagant—tipped in gold, marble, and lush patterns and a stark disparity to the image outside of it.
there was a tinge of something sweet in the air, a hazy smoke drifting through the place. you wrinkled your nose.
a man came from behind the folding divider in one of those linen, knot-button suits, hair shaved close to his head, with a big smile and a gold tooth. at the sight of it you went cold.
he spoke in a language you couldn’t understand—taking in its foreign inflections with a feeling of awe, and hearing the word Ghost between the slew of his words.
it startled you when Ghost spoke back in the same swinging rhythm. staring at the side of his blank face, he just ignored your burning gaze.
suddenly, the man turned to you with a slick smile, eyes crawling down for a long moment before crawling back up. the hair on the back of your neck bristled. 
“good evening, ma’am,” he greeted in a gentle accent, “how can i help you?”
Ghost braced against the desk, speaking low and fast in that language. the man’s eyes went dark, but that slick smile never left his lips. then, he grinned, gold tooth flashing, before he gestured with his arm to the intricate divider.
“please follow me.”
Ghost’s grip on your waist was tight as you followed the man behind the divide, walking down a dim, but equally decadent hallway. you jolted away from one of the doors—there was an intermittent bang and shout from inside of the room.
a splinter of fear cleaved your heart, and you shot a look at Ghost before he just urged you forward without so much as a glance. 
“here is your room,” the man offered generously, waving his arm to a wooden door with an intricate carving over the front.
you muffled a gasp at the sight of the girl standing beside it. she must’ve been only a few years older than you, with milky skin and long black hair that came down her slim frame like the brush of swirling ink. the crimson dress she wore wasn’t constricting at all, and exposed so much skin.
from the elbows to her wrists, her ankles, calves, and knees, you could see her bare skin. you averted your eyes immediately, fumbling with your hands, but her gaze was solely trained on Ghost.
he wholly ignored her as the man shooed her away with a rude gesture and fast words. her dark eyes flashed, sending Ghost a nasty look, and then you, before turning on her heel and marching down the hallway.
the man handed Ghost a key and you followed the broad, masked man into the room, quickly shutting the door behind you. the strange, elongated noises from the hallway was diminished now. sighing out with relief, your breath hitched when you noticed the intricacy of the room.
there was a low-lying bed strewn with pillows and rich draperies. the room was littered with different wooden furniture pieces with ornate carvings like geometric mazes in the chairs, wardrobe, canopy bed frame, and sunken table in the far corner of the room. you observed the rolls of paper hanging from the walls, the vases covered in gleaming blue brush strokes, and the dim lamp overhead with red tassels hanging down from its silver sheath.
Ghost sat at the edge of the bed with a crumbling sigh, kicking off his boots. your heart sunk, cringing at more of the gentler noises wafting through the door.
“where are we, Ghost?”
you had a sneaking suspicion that you wouldn’t like it.
he cleared his throat, sending you the most apologetic you had ever seen on him. “a brothel.”
you spluttered. “a brothel?”
he had brought you, a good, christian woman, to a brothel?
you did a quick prayer, closing your eyes and clasping your hands together, murmuring under your breath. you could hear Ghost move from the bed and pad closer to you, impossibly silent. 
you ignored him, continuing to pray, as he wrapped his arms around you, impossibly warm and comforting, and tucked his chin into your neck.
“i’m sorry.”
you jolted. opening one eye to look at him, two of his own peered back at you.
you shut your eye, ignoring him and continued to pray in low murmurs. he pressed a kiss to your neck, another i’m sorry falling from his lips. and then another and another wherever he kissed across your neck, jaw, cheek.
you could get used to him saying that. 
it was his warm breath across your lips that startled you back to the present.
when you opened your eyes again, hands still clasped in a bind at your chest, he leaned forward, clothed forehead pressing against your own. 
“i’m sorry.”
a trickle of something muddled dripped down your spine. a new suspicion pricked up in you.
“about what?” you asked, working your jaw slowly.
he buried his forehead into your neck, speaking softly. “about lying to you.” 
your brow quirked.
“about the brothel?” you asked, feeling confused, and he stiffened against you before nodding slowly.
“mhmm.”
that muddled feeling was back again. was he lying about what he was lying about?
you snorted at the thought. that muddled feeling told you he was probably apologizing about a lot of things at the moment—what, exactly, you couldn’t discern. there was a lot to choose from.
“i’m still mad at you,” you said with a tenderness, brushing across the back of his neck with your fingertips.
he just nodded again with a hum.
a much darker furl of despair in your stomach said that this may be the last time he would say sorry to you.
you didn’t know what would happen tomorrow, or tonight even, as the hazy dusk settled outside the carved windows. when would the war break out? where was one-four-one and los vaqueros? why had he brought you to chinatown? why a brothel?
when would he be leaving you again?
would he be dead in the next couple of days like he kept promising?
your silence must’ve been telling because he sighed out across your skin and untangled himself from your body and led you to the edge of the bed where you both sat.
your brows rose expectantly as he shifted over the bed and took off his hat, putting it down. you took it into your hands to have something to fumble with as his hand came to the length of your hair, playing with it in between his fingers.
when his silence was too long, you cocked your head. “tell me, Simon.”
it was more of a command than anything.
he rubbed a hand over his jaw with a curt nod, but he wouldn’t look at you. “i know the owner of this establishment. he owns a brothel chain in san francisco. for the night, we’ll be safest here.”
your hands paused, glancing up at him. “you do business in prostitution?”
the relief that bloomed when he shook his head came as a surprise. you released a breath you didn’t even know you were holding.
“an enemy of Turner is a friend of mine,” he said decidedly. “so i learned mandarin.”
you changed the subject. “so what about one-four-one and los vaqueros? where are they?”
“we’ve got a base but it’s across the city,” he said, scratching at his neck, not revealing anything further. you didn’t really expect him to.
“when will you see them?” you asked, sullen.
what you really wanted to ask was: will he take you with him?
“tonight.” his hand dropped from your hair. “only rich politicians come through here. you’ll be safe. i promise.”
you closed your eyes. that was that.
you didn’t really know if you wanted to hear the rest of what he had to say.
“then, you and i will reconvene with them tomorrow. together,” he said, the pad of his thumb brushing over your closed eyelids.
you took a breath of relief. you could work with that.
“and the war?”
his eyes were dark, swirling. “i don’t know. i’d rather stop it before then.”
and still get the revenge one-four-one promised?
you cocked your head. “how?”
the corners of his lips twitched and your brows rose. “it’s a surprise, princess.”
you groaned, exasperated. “no more surprises, Simon.”
“will you allow an awful man to fix a date with you, lovely?”
you gave him a bitter look and his smile only grew. “what makes you think i want you to court me?”
he slowly slid off the bed and you watched in amazement as he kneeled in front of you, hands on your thighs.
“what do i need to do?” he asked softly, eyes wide and beseeching. 
you were in awe at the sight of him—on his knees in front of you, broad body bowed down. you looked over the plains of his masked face, and all that was revealed beneath it. his pale skin, littered with scars, and the silvery one on his upper lip, that blonde brow and tall nose, his telling dark eyes.
you blushed. “more than that.”
“how about this?” he offered, stretching up to kiss the tip of your nose.
“more than that.”
“this?” he kissed over your jaw, down your neck, lips warm and soft and wet when his tongue slid out, sucking at the flesh of it.
“more,” you whined, feeling hot all over when his hands expertly came to unclasp the back of your blouse.
it was perplexing in the way he could strip away your facade in mere seconds, melt the stubbornness from your shoulders, and evaporate any reign of control over your intent to be furious with him.
he had you completely bare in seconds and all your ruined clothes in a pile on the floor, pushing you back onto the soft bed, and then it was his turn. he stood up and undressed in front of you, and you watched with a greediness, that familiar dark, needy pulse between your thighs.
you pawed at that ache, feeling relentless, and his pupils blew wide, hands flying to get out of his clothes.
swallowing, you tried to not let the shame consume you when you dipped your hand beneath your thighs, and touched that spot for the first time. his hands fumbling with his belt stuttered to a stop.
experimentally, you dragged your fingertips against its wet softness, gasping when it came in contact with your clit. it was a little nub that swelled against your fingers, fluttering in time with the pulse of your heart in your throat.
you kept your eyes on Ghost, fighting the droop of them, when you started to circle around it like he had. a pleasure bloomed through you, and you gasped again. curious, you jerked your hand faster, and the intensity of it only spread, through your core, dipping into your stomach, and you thought you saw gold.
with a loud moan, you realized you never knew that you could make yourself feel so good.
you jolted when Ghost let out a guttural, low sound, and pitched forward, pressing his knuckles into the space beside your head, towering over you on the bed.
“you touchin’ yourself, pretty thing?”
you whined with a nod, his words only spurring you on.
when he reached down to grip your hand rubbing against your cunt, you hissed. “no.”
“no?” his brows shot up, eyes searching yours.
“no touching. just watch,” you commanded, deadly serious, arching into your own magical touch.
the sound that left his throat was in between a groan and a whimper, and it made your hips buck up, a whine tearing through you in response.
he sat back, hands twitching against his thighs, and a painful looking swell in his pants, you noticed, but you were perfectly content with the way you were touching yourself.
rolls of aching sweetness unfurled through you.
“are you teasing me, princess?” he asked, head tilted and voice incredibly deep, the swell of his chest fast and breathy.
“mhmm,” you whimpered, slowing your hand painfully so, then quickening again, gasping when a thick wave of pleasure poured over you and swept you into a distant haze. 
“s’your punishment—” you went even faster, “—for bein’ an asshole.”
he groaned at that, leaning down to kiss your bare ankle, and you hissed, pushing him back with your foot to his shoulder. the look he gave you was steeped in such an obvious display of desperation that you almost wanted to give in.
“let me do it,” he rasped, leaning forward to tower over you again, hands by your head, but still not touching.
“no.”
he leaned down to your ear. “please?”
you whined, bucking into your hand, feeling the edges of your vision fade and flutter. you were getting closer to that telltale, delicious, precipice—but frustratingly, it still felt so far away.
“no,” you whimpered, and you chased that edge desperately.
he licked over his lips. “struggling, pretty girl?”
you shook your head, whole body jolting when a new flare of intensity coursed through you. it was almost too much, and suddenly, you wanted to take your hand away.
you looked up to the man perched between your legs, his bare muscled torso gleaming in the dim light, and the sharpness of his jaw spurring you on.
he cooed, “you sure you don’t need my help, pretty thing?”
sniffling, you mewled, feeling defeated when you pulled your hand back, your sensitive clit twitching in response to the cold air that filled the absence where your hand had just been.
Ghost hummed, looking positively pleased at your surrender, and he tentatively brushed his fingertips over the softness of your inner thigh.
“may i?” his eyes were dark and malicious, and a shudder of something bordering on fear slithered down your spine as you squirmed against the blankets.
“please.”
he lurched forward, and you squeaked in surprise when one of his arms slid beneath your back, the other beneath your thigh, as he threw you further up the bed.
“shoulder?” he asked softly, though his hands were rough as he positioned you the way he liked, pressing the back of your thighs up so that almost touched your chest, legs lolling over his shoulders.
you could barely feel anything in your shoulder—all the blood had pooled to your cunt, pulsing with a wild, aching need.
“please, Simon,” you said instead, grabbing his shoulders and pushing them down to where you needed him.
but he was too strong. much stronger thank you, as he pinned your wrists to the bed. 
“answer me,” he said, voice thick and dark, and you whimpered.
“s’fine.”
“you sure?” he breathed over your cunt and you whimpered.
“y-yeah.”
he hummed. “we’re going to do something different today.”
that piqued your interest, pulling you from the muddled haze of your mind. he splayed a big hand over your stomach, pressing against it, the rough pad of his thumb reaching down to rub lazy circles over your clit. 
you melted back into the bed, a deluge of relief coursing through your veins. you think you could come just like this—Ghost leaning over you, sucking the skin of your neck, whispering low murmurs into your ear, and a circling pressure growing against your clit. you think you could mostly because it was Simon.
“Simon,��� you whined, and his eyes snapped to yours, turning warm and buttery when he kissed your eyelids.
then, you felt something circling the entrance of your core.
a confused hum left your lips, and you looked down to see his other hand spreading his fingers down the slick of your entrance.
“what’re you doing?” you asked, sliding a hand over his.
“do you trust me?”
your breath hitched, looking up into his hooded eyes. you didn’t take a second to even think—
god, yes, you trusted him. you needed him.
“need you,” you whimpered, truthfully, and his eyes went even darker as he bent down to kiss your clit softly.
then, you watched him push a finger into you, swallowed up by your cunt inch-by-greedy-inch.
you gasped, arching at the new feeling of a stretch that felt… good.
“Simon?” you squeaked, and he just shushed you gently, kneading at your breast as he sucked on your clit, pinning you down as you squirmed.
then, he began working the finger inside you, rubbing against your gooey inner walls, and then he was pressing in a second finger, and that delicious stretch swept you away into a haze.
breathy moans were torn from your throat and you could do nothing to stop them when he curled his fingers, pressing even deeper and against something that had the sweetest feeling unfurl deep, deep, deep inside you.
“Simon!” you mewled, feeling your climax approaching quicker than ever as he fucked you open with his fingers, his lips wrapped around your clit, a sinful squelch harmonizing with the breathy tones of your voice.
your whole core convulsed, clenching, then—
he stopped.
your chest fell in rose in heavy pants, that delicious edge receding slowly. picking up your head up to look at him, your brow furrowed when you found him just staring back at you.
whining, you picked up your hips to press your swollen clit to his plush lips, but he just shifted back a bit so the tip of your nub barely brushed his lower lip.
he cocked his head with a malicious smirk.
“you’ve been teasin’ me for days, minx,” he said, eyes so empty and cold that you shivered. he slid a hand over the goosebumps of your thigh.
“at the lake. today by the railroad.”
he began pumping his fingers again, slowly, and you whined, trying your best to grind down on it so the tips of them would find that swollen place in you that felt heavenly, but he just pulled his hand back every time you pressed down.
his eyes darkened. “touchin’ yourself in front of me like i’m not allowed to do anything about it.”
“please,” you whimpered, and the smirk dropped from his face.
“you’re not allowed to come until i say so, pretty thing.”
a shockwave went straight through your tummy at the words, eyes blown wide with shock. you didn’t know why those words made your heart drum harder, the slickness between your thighs feeling unbearable with the way he just slowly fucked you with his fingers.
you wanted more. you wanted him deeper. something bigger.
his fingers brushed over your clit, and you jolted. “ready f’more?”
“mhmm. please, Simon.” your voice was a keen, and you whined louder when he completely pulled his hand away from you, feeling desperately empty, but he just grabbed your hips and flipped you with ease onto your stomach.
he pulled your hips up, one hand smoothing down your back so you were arched, arms braced against the soft pillows. it was a strange position, left you feeling awkward and exposed, but he pressed a soft kiss to your injured shoulder and you ignored the throb from the weight it bore.
then, he slid off the bed and you heard the clink of his belt, something dropping on the floor, before the bed dipped again, and then silence.
looking back at him, you blushed at the sight of him just shamelessly staring at you in the position.
“Simon!” you chided, curling out of the position before he gripped at your hip tightly with a sly smirk, pushing you back down into the arch with a low rumble of protest.
he crowded over the back of you, settling down over your body, and pressed you further into the bed, his warm chest flush to your back and knuckles pressed to the space next to your ears. you gasped when something warm, sticky, and hard brushed along your inner thigh.
he stroked a hand along your neck, words a throaty whisper in your ear. “comfortable, lovely?”
you felt him press himself against your soft slit, the thick head of it pressing against your clit. 
it felt hot, big, throbbing, and—
you gasped, a cracking dawn of realization washing over you.
“it goes…?” inside.
your whole body shook in anticipation, a strange muddle of fear and desperate want making your hips press further back into him.
he hummed, kissing your neck. 
“figure it out, pretty?”
“mhmm,” was all you could get out, wiggling yourself against him in impatience, and he just gripped your hips tightly.
“inside,” you retaliated, and he huffed in your ear, the curve of his smile pressed to your hair.
“needy girl. you don’t even know anything about this,” he chided, a hand coming down to rub at your clit, and you squirmed with relief.
“what do i need to know?” you squeaked, grinding against his fingers.
“it hurts.” your movements slowed, suddenly feeling apprehensive.
“it hurts?” you looked back at him from over your shoulder, his eyes only inches from your own where his lips were against your shoulder.
his stopped moving. “mhmm.”
you reached down between your legs and gripped at his wrist, willing him to move again.
“i don’t care. i can take it.”
he smiled against your shoulder.
“im sure you can, but save it for your marriage.” his words were hushed, and you just frowned, a ball of frustration building in you, arching back into his touch.
“i don't want anybody but you.”
he went stock still, and you swallowed hard, feeling an edge of unease bubble up between your desire. you wished you could see his face but you didn’t dare look behind you.
his hand slid away from your core again, leaving you wanting and cold. but you took a breath of relief when he didn’t move away, only pressed his body down into you harder, the heady weight of him a pleasant pressure.
“i guess you’ll just have to wait till we’re married then.”
the breath was stolen from you, and you fought to whimper out, “no. now.”
“that’s improper, lovely,” he whispered, dark and throaty, hot tongue licking over your ear.
he slid his hips forward between your thighs, and you felt his hard length glide smoothly over your cunt, catching against your puffy clit, ripping a gasp out of your throat.
your eyes drooped shut. “don’t care.”
“so bratty. can’t you let me court you first?”
you grit your teeth, fighting back the breathy noises from the back of your throat, as he thrust forward between the hot clutch of your plush thighs.
“no,” you moaned out, letting his hands guide your hips in a slow roll over him, your cunt clenching with every movement.
“even when i’m being so nice to you right now?”
“you’re being mean,” you whined, pushing back against him, meeting the snap of his hips with a string of breathy gasps as your head fell forward.
he snaked a hand into your hair and pulled, tugging you back over his sticky length with every thrust. you felt the telltale beginnings of a rolling, sweet burn stemming from your clit to the rest of your body that you needed to satiate.
“please,” you begged, and he hummed, curling an arm beneath you to play with the sensitive swell of your nipples, holding you close to him as you jolted with each brush of your clit.
“wanna come?” he asked softly, and you nodded eagerly, feeling the first waves of your orgasm pulling you under—
then he pulled his hips back, pushing you back down to the bed, and you almost sobbed at the loss of friction against your core.
he leaned down to coo in your ear softly, “what’s wrong, princess?”
that desperate, squirming ache in your stomach melded into something angry.
“stop teasing me!” you snapped, sending him a teary-eyed look from over your shoulder, jolting when his eyes snapped up to yours.
his face was hooded—lustful, pupils blown wide, and dark with something sinister you’d never seen before.
“stop teasing?” he growled, pushing his hips forward between your thighs again, your clit twitching against the tip of him. “like how you were teasing me earlier?”
you whined as he began rolling his hips, the combined slick coming down your legs in a sticky, mixed muddle, and gasping when he hooked his arm beneath you and pulled you up so you were leaned back against his chest—his teeth sinking into the skin of your shoulder.
you grabbed at the back of his neck, a pleasurable pain gliding across your skin and leaving goosebumps in its wake. a dark, slithering heat tightened that inevitable knot in your tummy when he slid a big hand up and wrapped it around your throat.
“bratty girls get punished. didn’t church teach you that?”
the moan you let out was downright sinful, breathy, and left your throat raw and aching, as you clawed at his hand around your throat, trying and failing to anchor yourself to anything.
he pitched forward, grabbing at your hand and pinned it down to the bed beneath his, intertwining your fingers tightly, and you watched his length between your thighs leak white pearls that glided down your skin with every heavenly thrust.
“are you gonna be good?” he whispered out, and you nodded eagerly, a slew of little whimpers and begs falling from your lips like a breathy flood.
he purred a sound of approval. “i know you will. bein’ such a good girl lettin’ me fuck your thighs like this.”
“yes, Simon, i’ll be good, i’ll be good—”
god you were so close—
“pretty girl. my sweet girl. you’re mine.”
his growled words guided you right through those convulsing shudders and a hot, searing haze welled up in your throat—tears pricking in your eyes from the intensity of it.
you only realized that Ghost came too when you felt ropes of something warm and thick splashed against your cunt and inner thighs, his groans a pretty song right by your ear. 
he practically crushed you to the bed, his warm, sweaty body pleasant against your skin. you stayed like that for a long time, listening to his deep breaths, a tickling drip down your spine—the after-effect of your shared pleasure.
you never wanted the sensation to leave you.
you searched for Ghost behind you and came into contact with his shoulder, then grabbed at his neck, and he hummed contentedly, sliding his arms beneath your stomach, pressing fleeting kisses to your shoulder and neck.
you squirmed, giggling at the ticklish sensation, but you were trapped there, and he only kissed you more with a soft smile against your skin, up to your ear, your cheek, before he leaned back to turn you over.
you looked up at him, his brown eyes warm and lips twisted in a wry smile, and curled your arms around his shoulders to pull him back down. he settled between your thighs, cheek pressed to your breast, and you scratched at the back of his head lightly like your mama used to do to make you fall asleep after a bad nightmare.
he practically purred, sinking further into the big bed, his arms winding back around your middle.
his voice was a raw rasp. “does this mean you’ll accept my request?”
you rolled your eyes but couldn’t suppress the smile on your face. “where are we going for a date?”
he inched up your body so he braced his forearms beside your head, the tip of his nose brushing yours. he blinked at you, face blank.
“don’t get mad at me, alright?”
you quirked your brow, sliding your hands up his shoulders, filling the dips and grooves of the bunched up muscle.
“what’re you hiding, Simon?”
he cocked his head. “it’s a social event.”
your brows rose. a social event?
you thought back to your daddy’s letter, such a strange and hazy memory now—i’ll round up my men and join the effort in two weeks time after we conjoin at the social. there, we can talk finances.
was that the same social?
you turned your cheek, giving Ghost a sidelong look. “the same one my daddy was talking about?”
you saw something flash in his eyes before his face became impossibly imperceptible again.
“how did you know about that?”
you snorted. “i snooped through your basement, remember?”
his brows rose, a very slow smile creeping up on his lips. 
you frowned at him. “what?”
he shook his head, grinning, “nothing.”
you dug your nails a bit into his shoulders. “tell me.”
“it’s just—”
he wouldn’t look into your eyes. he leaned down closer to you, lips against your cheek, voice a seductive, low sound. “your mind. i lust for it.”
your breath hitched. “lust for it?”
he nodded. “you’re brilliant. it’s sexy.”
you scoffed, swatting at his shoulder lightly, and a laugh rumbled through his chest into yours.
you wondered what he would think about your brilliant mind if he knew that you were periodically going through… mental struggles. you thought about something else instead.
“tell me what this social’s about.”
you watched him close his eyes, fingers fumbling with your hair. “Turner’s having a masquerade ball. somethin’ ‘bout going back to historical roots.”
your brows shot up. “and you want to go with me?”
his smirk was devilish. “who else? i was invited.”
now, your brow was furrowed. “why would Turner invite you?”
he shook his head. “he didn’t. it’s his way of having a little victory party over this war before it’s even really begun. s’basically an invitation.”
there was a bitter taste in your mouth.
“i thought you said i wasn’t going anywhere near Turner?”
he shifted above you, eyes open now, and hand still tangled in your hair.
“changed my mind.”
you scoffed. for Ghost, changing his mind wasn’t surprising. in the matter of Turner and you however…
“why’d you change your mind?” you pressed softly, meeting his buttery warm eyes.
he smiled, whole body going lax and soft against you. “last night.”
that didn’t clarify anything at all. when your jaw dropped open to reply, he filled the words in for you.
“s’just a stupid omen. there was a coyote. it was scared just at the sight of me, but i was more scared than anything.”
you stroked along the soft, warm skin of his back. “why?”
“because i wanted to protect you.” 
his eyes were wide and open, and you bit your lip, a new burning ache pushing up between your lungs.
“i promised i’d never let anyone hurt you again,” he said with a hush, pressing his forehead to yours. “i want you to be with me when you’re in danger.”
then, he slid down pressing his ear to the steady thrum of your heart. “just be with me all the time.”
a rush of sweetness poured through you. just be with me all the time.
you felt giddy, your grin big and making your cheeks ache.
“is that what you were getting all thoughtful about this morning?”
you remembered him sitting on the rock beside you, fumbling with his knife, face shadowed and faint with a furrowed brow.
he craned his neck to look up at you.
“you noticed, smart girl?”
you wanted to scoff. “i notice a lot of things.”
you drew lazy circles into his skin. “i noticed how you always like to fold my clothes. i noticed how like to put your face here—”
you pointed to the area where your hair pooled around your neck, and with that, he pulled forward to press his face to that spot with a contented hum.
you held the back of his head, feeling like you were in a hazy, surreal dreamscape.
had you really wanted revenge on him only a night ago? a few mere hours ago? did it really matter what his original intentions were with you when he displayed his feelings so clearly like this?
yes, a voice hissed out, leaving you feeling uneasy, but you beat it down so it wouldn’t cloud the blissful moment.
soon, he pulled away, shifting off of you, and slid off the bed to kneel on the hardwood floor again. the absence of him felt wrong—cold and too light. like you needed his heavy warmth to pin you back down again.
he gripped at your splayed hand from the edge of the bed. “will you go on a date with me, lovely?”
his question was completely simple and pure, but you found yourself wanting to tease him, lips twisting into a sly smile, enjoying the way he blinked in response, a bit perturbed.
“and what will we do on this date, Simon?”
you flipped over onto your stomach, propping up your head up over your elbows with your knuckles, in love with the way his blonde lashes fluttered against your cheek when your noses brushed. his lips were a mere breath away from yours.
“dine. dance…” he whispered, dark eyes flickering from your own to your lips.
his lips parted, head tilting. “maybe i can hold Turner down, and you can torture him to death.”
at that you laughed, pulling back away from him and curling onto your side into the sheets. he remained at the edge of the bed, grin wide and wolfish. once your fit of laughter stopped, you peered back over your shoulder with a hum.
“i’ll tell you what i decide in the morning,” you sang, sitting up, watching with delight as a curiosity burned in his gaze.
“did i not teach you well enough what happens when you tease me?” he asked, voice throaty, and you shivered, suddenly very aware of the exposed nature of your bare skin.
you shrugged. “guess you’ll have to remind me.”
his eyes darkened and you squirmed away from him with a giggle across the big bed so he couldn’t reach you so easily. his brows rose carefully.
“think i can’t catch you if you run away like that, bunny?”
a low, kicking thrum came back to life between your thighs.
“what are you?” you asked with a laugh, gripping at the sheets, “a wolf?”
he cocked his head in a predatory manner, words low and deep. “when i want to be.”
you shuddered and he just shook his head with an amused look, padding away from the bed to a door across the room. behind it was a bathroom, and he disappeared inside, the sound of running water accompanying you as you laid back down on the bed, reclining back into the soft blankets and even softer pillows.
the more you laid there, the more you could feel a growing, painful ache returning to your shoulder. it was stiff, hot and swollen to the touch, and you chided yourself for going so… rough in your intimate moment with Ghost.
but when he sauntered back out of the bathroom, footsteps eerily quiet, a damp washcloth in hand, you didn’t feel an ounce of regret.
he helped clean you up, swiping away your shared fluids from your skin as his kissed the crown of your head with a tenderness. you reached for the cloth, grabbing his bare hip, and were about to return the favor when you were reacquainted with the battered state of his body.
the bruises had reduced but there were still a blotchy, purple mess, and his stitches were just as bad as before—that same dried crust around it. now, you really chided yourself, angry that you hadn’t taken a moment to take care of him before…
you wiped away any residue from his nether regions, before thumbing gently over that strong, muscled v-line of his hip.
“what is it?” he asked, touching a knuckle to the bottom of your chin and tilting your head up to meet his eyes.
you blinked. “it’s really bad.”
his expression was blank. “honestly, lovely, i’ve had worse.”
“like what?” you pressed, and when his face contorted, you waved a hand.
“nevermind. don’t tell me.” you might be sick if he did.
“just please let me take care of you,” you practically begged, sliding a hand down his bare thigh as his eyes narrowed.
your frown deepened, trying to give him your best doe-eyed pout, and he heaved a sigh with a nod, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
you walked to the bathroom, casting a look over your shoulder to make sure Ghost was still sitting obediently at the bed, and when he cocked an impatient brow at you, you bit back a smirk as you entered the bathroom.
there was a big tub pressed to the corner of the room, and a wash bin where you rinsed off the wash cloth and grabbed an extra cup from the sink, filling it with water. you fished around the ornate cabinets, smiling in victory when you found a jar of vaseline pushed to the very back of a cabinet filled with sparse miscellaneous items. your mama had spread it over any injury of yours like an invisible gauze.
taking a moment to inspect your appearance in the mirror, cheeks flushed and hair disheveled, you splashed your face with a bit of water and calmed your hair with your hands.
on the back of the bathroom door, you took the simple silk robe in a pale yellow pattern and tied it around yourself, walking back out to Ghost who was lounged back against the bed and still stark naked.
“has my pretty nurse come to my aid?” he asked, eyes half-lidded.
you just nodded with a sheepish smile, crawling over to him and dipping the washcloth in the water before dabbing at the stitches. you watched his whole body tense with a hiss, and then relax again, his eyes screwed shut.
“sorry,” you squeaked with wince, wiping away the yellow ooze around it. you bit your lip, brows furrowed as you looked down at the fleshy wound—red and swollen with a loose thread pulled through it. you pressed your fingertips to it and he jolted, jaw clenched. it was hot to the touch.
“it didn’t reopen, did it?” you asked sullenly, and his eyes barely fluttered open.
“i’d be bleeding if it did.”
with that, you spread the cool vaseline over it, and he sighed, sinking back into the bed. then, he wrapped an arm around your waist, and you muffled a squeak as he tugged you towards him into pillows.
his lips were against your hair. “shoulder?”
you pushed away from him with a hand to his chest, and he grumbled in protest as you moved to put your gathered medical supplies onto the nightstand.
“s’okay. kind of swollen but nothing like yesterday.”
the sound that left his throat was full of disapproval.
instead you changed the subject, turning to him with a hand on your hip.
“are you gonna change?”
his brows raised slightly, knees tipping wider as he picked up his head to look at you with a smirk. with a blush, you refused to look down at his bare, muscled body.
“nope.”
rolling your eyes, you clambered back into the bed and he tugged the silky robe loose from your body, and you just let him do as he liked as he positioned the both of you beneath the thick blankets. 
he pulled you into his pleasant warmth and you hummed, your cheek nestled to his chest and his lips against your hair.
the room was dim, a lulling quiet darkness over the room now, pitching deep into the night. you drew circles over his forearm cast over your waist.
“when will you leave?” you whispered, sullen, because you knew these tranquil, soft moments were dwindling with uncertainty.
he smoothed a hand over your back. “in a little bit.”
you bit your lip. “why can’t i come with you?”
he shook his head, and you closed your eyes, a pinched feeling in your chest.
“i have to do this on my own. you won’t be in danger here.” 
you thought back to what he said a mere moments ago.
“what happened to just be with me all the time?”
his words were soft. “you are with me all the time.”
you craned your neck to look up at him and he inclined his head against the pillows, tapping with a finger to his chest lightly.
oh.
“i think i’ve read about that in a children’s fantasy novel, Ghost,” you said with a cocked brow and he gave you a wry smile, then shifted to tuck his chin over your head.
“what happened to Simon?”
you closed your eyes. “Simon privileges revoked.”
he scoffed. “bratty.”
you smacked at his arm and he didn’t even move—like a big rock you could anchor yourself to. 
a big rock you wanted to anchor yourself to, except that he was always leaving it seemed. 
and when he left, would he actually come back as promised? or would he leave you to the streets of san francisco as you feared—without a use for you?
unless your use was turning up to Turner’s masquerade as Ghost’s lady for the evening in another display of their battle for… ownership.
at that you stiffened and Ghost roused against you, his even breaths hitching.
the question you posed was careful and calculating. “if i wanted to run away and never look back, would you let me?”
he went impossibly still at that. then, he pulled back far enough so you could see the grim lines of his face, even through the darkness and the shroud of his mask.
“yes.” the word was so strained it almost didn’t sound like his own voice. “i think it’d kill me though.”
you cocked your head.
“when are you gonna take that mask off?”
his eyes flashed. “full of questions are you?”
you nodded. “always.”
he looked away from you. “i can’t answer all of them yet.”
always hiding something from you.
“why not?” you pressed, and he frowned, taking up your hand to press to his chest.
“in time,” he whispered, kissing the back of it, before sliding out from under the blankets.
you gripped his wrist to keep him tethered to you, voice cracking wide open.
“did you mean what you said?” 
he cocked his head, eyes a placid coolness.
you swallowed hard “about courting me? about me being yours?”
your breath was shallow when you added, “do you really think you’ll die tomorrow?”
he stared at you for a long moment before sighing out, climbing back onto the bed and over you, leaning down to brush his lips against yours softly. you jolted with a gasp, straining up to kiss that silvery scar on his upper lip carefully. he was stock still, eyes following your movement with a familiar stoicism. 
“i will be back tomorrow morning,” he promised and you grimaced.
“will you?”
he nodded strongly. “before dawn.”
you curled an arm around his neck. “promise me?”
“honest to god.”
you winced, remembering your words from two nights ago.
how can you be honest to god?
as he redressed to go out into the night, you watched him to try and find any tightness in his movements. the stiff motion of his body looked pure and simple—easing off the pressure of his injuries.
there wasn’t a trace of apprehension as he slung his gun back into his holster, sheathed knives back into the layer of his trench coat, and put on his stetson, that silver skull pendant on its brim glimmering in the dull light.
but you had seen how easily he lied to the kind man earlier. 
how easily he could lie to you.
before he left, he pressed his forehead to yours, cool leather palm against your chest, and then to that spot where your hair and neck met, and then he stepped out into the hallway and the door shut behind him.
you twisted in the sheets, searching for a sliver of warmth that he had left behind. 
there was an emptiness in your heart when you couldn’t find it.
you couldn’t sleep almost the entire night—desperately waiting for when the sun would breach the horizon, and Ghost would crawl back into that space in your heart you left vacant for him.
the night steeped into an black sky, clouds drifting across the moon in splotchy patches. you fell into a half-slumber, perched between the soft pillows of the bed when there was a quiet thud from a distance. 
you startled, picking up your head and searching in the darkness in a sleepy haze.
“Ghost?” you whispered out, only a silence answering you, as a form materialized, prowling forward from the entrance of the room.
it was the girl with milky skin and an inky black hair, in that same revealing dress as before, skin reflective in the moonlight, and a revolver in her hand.
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important note: if anyone wants to learn more about san francisco’s chinatown in circa. 1900, here’s are two articles i found interesting: time magazine (bubonic plague) and history.net (prostitution & Donaldina Cameron)
that being said, i want to clarify that much of san francisco’s chinatown culture became characterized solely about prostitution, opium, and gambling in the media (movies, tv shows, etc.) because of racial prejudices in the 1900s. while i talk about those themes in this story, they don’t make up even half of the rich culture in san francisco's chinatown and i do not want to create that impression!!
ugh anyways i didn’t mean to make this chapter so angsty 🙁 it will get better i promise i promise i promise but thank you for all your guys’s amazing support <33 i hope you enjoyed this chapterrr <33 next up... character development 🌚
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taglist: @poohkie90 @kunikku @tomiesdiet @silverianni @doublesuicidewithme @cliosunshine @one17 @warenai @saturnknows @migueloharaapologist2 @keiva1000 @kenma-izhu @lilvampirina @deltottoro @maki-z @leeeenistop @danika1994 @stillinracooncity @saevitiaa @itsalwaysbetternottoknow @karagd13-blog @nattywatty @oyaoyaoyaoyaoyaoyaoyaoya
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fatkish · 4 months ago
Note
You should do a Rengoku and Sanemi headcanon list/one-shot where the reader got Hanahaki disease! (btw I love your abo Rengoku and reader work it was amazing)
Rengoku & Sanemi x Hanahaki Reader
Rengoku:
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You were a fellow demon slayer who often worked with Rengoku
All that time spent near him had you developing feelings for the man
However, you highly doubted yourself and whether or not he would return your feelings, so you never told him
Not even when you started coughing up red Camellia petals
When your condition started to affect your ability to fight, you were sent to Shinobu who told you that you didn’t have very long at the rate of the flowers growth
You were surprised when Rengoku came to see you, only for you to cough up a whole camellia in front of him
He knew about this disease and he asked you to tell him who it was that was causing this
You refused to tell him saying that you had already been rejected and that he shouldn’t bother worrying about you
He ignored you and asked you to tell him anyway. Only for you to be wracked with violent coughs as more camellias came spewing out from your bloodied mouth
Kyojuro watched as you struggled to breathe and clenched his fists knowing that someone was causing you to suffer
When you stopped showing up for training, he realized that your condition had gotten much worse
When he learned from a friend of your that you had passed, he was saddened, but your friend gave him a letter
The letter was written by you, you expressed your love for him and how his blazing passion for life itself made you love him, you confessed that you didn’t believe he would love you back and told him that you didn’t regret anything. You told him that he taught you to be passionate about your love and you were happy to die with that passion
Kyojuro felt guilty for your death but you had thanked him for giving you something to feel such passion for
When Kyojuro died at the hand of Akaza, he saw you there with his mother, he smiled as he saw you both smiling at him
He apologized for not realizing your love sooner, and he promised to keep a flame within his soul, a flame that would always burn with his love for you
Sanemi:
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You had been a kakushi. Always cleaning up after the demon slayers
You were one of the few kakushi that Sanemi tolerated so you were one of the few he allowed near him
You learned that he liked Ohagi and would make some for him and gave it to him whenever you interacted. He found your Ohagi to be delicious but he’d never tell you that
Despite his rough exterior and rude/vulgar personality, you also got to secretly experience the softness deep within him
As time went on, you began to appreciate him, that appreciation turned to fondness, and fondness turned to love
But you never spoke a word of this to anyone, too afraid that you would be rejected
Even when you started coughing up Yarrow petals
Eventually as time went on you began coughing up whole flowers, then entire bunches of yarrow
One day, you had been having an extreme coughing fit when none other than Sanemi himself walked by, only to see the bloodied yarrow in your hands
He didn’t say anything and merely told you to get some rest. As he walked away he clenched his fists, he knew that there wasn’t much of a chance for you to survive and it infuriated him
Eventually he noticed that you started showing up less and less and that’s when he learned that you were on your deathbed
He went to see you and found you struggling to breathe as you laid on your back on your futon
As you struggled to breathe, you thought you were imagining things when you saw Sanemi, you reached out to him and told him you loved him
Sanemi was shocked but grabbed your hand as a few tears fell from his eyes, he watched as you closed yours and took one last shaky breath
He held your hand tightly as he lamented about the loss of another innocent life, but this time, instead of a demon being the one to kill you, it was him. If only he saw the signs, he could have saved you, he could have had more time with you
He held your hand as he cried and promised that he’d find you in your next lives and make it right. He promised to love you and remember you forever
Since yarrow means everlasting love
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consistencynevermether · 2 months ago
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Spring Flowers (Vere x gn!reader) (Touchstarved)
content: this is technically a sequel to this post, but it can be read as a stand alone. Vere x reader, gender neutral reader, tried to write this so any origin will work, Jealous Vere, SFW, cannon typical swearing, violence, etc
(optional) part one: Winter Nights, here
summary: Vere wants to go watch the flowers bloom, and you help him out (its lightly implied Leander has a crush on MC)
word count: 3.7k
A/N: i've decided to make a series out of my first fic, each one coordinating with a different season. this is technically part 2, works as a standalone. i've also been considering maybe some Kuras writings, if anyone is interested in that, lmk! enjoy :)
The winter in Eridia was especially long this season. That's what Mhin had told you at least. Not that they minded apparently. They had no strong dislike towards the colder months, unlike Vere. You didn’t go a single day without him complaining about the weather. But finally spring had begun to take over the city. While you were walking back to your lodgings in the Wet Wick sometime earlier this month, you had even seen crocus flowers popping up early, with a light dusting of snow on their purple petals. You imagined the melting ice and sunny days would put Vere in a better mood. And they did, for a time.
One lovely day he came to the Wick in a foul mood, and as he walked past your table he oh so very rudely shut the book you were reading while he walked past. You let out an offended cry but he didn’t even stop to look at you, he simply stomped right past and sat down at the bar, ordering something strong
Rude. More rude than normal. Usually when Vere did something like that, it was to tease or get your attention. But this time he just wanted to spread his sour mood. And it was working. The book you were reading was a tome of very basic yet interesting spells, something “almost anyone could master” according to Leander, the person who lent you the book. And now your place was lost because Vere made his attitude everyone’s problem.
Luckily, you were more mature than him. And deep down you also knew better. Vere was a fickle beast, but usually his reasons for being genuinely upset were pretty valid. 
You sighed, tucked your book away in your bag, and headed over to the bar where he was sitting. Without a word you sat in the seat next to his and turned towards him, arms crossed.
Vere was already slouched over the bar, scowling into his drink. 
“Oh for the love of- what do you want?” He groaned. 
“That wasn’t very nice.” You counter dryly. 
Vere scoffed, throwing his hands over his head. 
“It’s a damn book! It is not that big of a deal. You're really upset over that? What, do you have to spend two seconds of your day looking at something other than Leander’s book? Oh what a terrible fate.” He spat, his mocking tone rising in pitch at his clear annoyance. 
Bad mood indeed.
“I’m not really upset, no.” Your even tone only makes Veres' little rant sound even more immature. “But that was rude, and it’s not my job to put up with your pettiness when you're upset. It makes me not want to be around you.”
You watched as Veres' eyes narrowed and his ears slightly flatten against his head in response.
Usually you wouldn’t let anyone get away with half the shit Vere got away with, but you were basically his only friend besides Ace. And that relationship was all kinds of complicated. Vere was great at charming people, making them fall for him, manipulating them, the whole nine yards. But he wasn’t great at keeping actual friends. It was a bit of a new concept to him, and because of that you gave him some leeway. 
Of course part of the reason you gave him that grace was because he puts up with a fair amount of your shit too. And you enjoy being friends with him of course, but you’d never tell him that. 
You continued to stare him down and he continued to glare at his drink until finally he mumbled something under his breath at you.
“I’m sorry, what was that?” You questioned.
“I SAID I’m sorry I touched your precious book ok?!” Vere snapped back. 
Vere was no longer hunched over the bar but instead had laid his head down on the counter and was glaring up at you through strands of his scarlet hair.
You smirked and laid your head down on the bar as well, now eye level with him. He rolled his eyes, but there was a slight smile behind the snark. You could tell.
“So, why are you actually upset?” you question. 
Vere let out a long suffering sigh.
“Ugh. It’s something entirely stupid. I don’t even really care.” He responded. 
“Well that’s clearly not true, you obviously care.” You countered. “But that’s fine. It’s alright to be upset over shit that doesn’t really matter. Just yesterday I dropped my slice of cheesecake and declared the Gods hated me personally. Well, even more than they clearly already do.” As you state that last part you hold up your bandaged hands, accentuating your point. 
Vere let out a quiet chuckle. Then a few moments later he sighed and began to speak. 
“There’s this festival happening that the sinobium is hosting. A viewing of some flowering trees that���ll be in full bloom. I don’t even care about the damn things, but it’s a huge social event, and you know how I thrive on those.”
It was true. Vere was like a flame to moths. People swarmed towards his charismatic personality and sharp wit. Not to mention he was probably the most beautiful person to exist. (Not that you were biased in this opinion at all).
“So why aren’t you going?” You questioned, urging him to continue. 
Vere shrugged. “No monsters allowed.” 
You were disappointed, but not surprised. This type of event definitely sounded like a gathering for the people of high town, and people like that don’t enjoy rubbing shoulders with monsters. Only the richest people in the largest city still standing had the luxury of creating a whole event out of watching flowering trees bloom. You could definitely see how this event would be right up Veres' alley. You couldn't help but feel sorry for the fox devil sitting next to you, it wasn't fair he had to miss out on some boring stupid garden party because he was a monster. He should miss out on the boring stupid garden party because he's a menace and a psychopath. 
Still, he was your menace, and you wanted to make him feel better about missing out on the stupid fruffy party. 
Then a thought came to you.
You didn’t need to comfort him for missing the party if he didn’t miss the party. 
Vere stared at you in tired amusement. He knew you well enough to know you were going to do or say something stupid, by the look on your face. He just didn’t know what yet. 
“I have a plan.” You declare. 
“Of course you do.” He took another sip of his drink, waiting for you to continue.
“Well-“ you reopen your tome as you speak. “I just happened to be reading a disguise spell before you so rudely interrupted.”
“Mhm. And can you cast said spell?” He questioned lazily. 
“Well-
-We can certainly try right? I’m sure I’ll pick it up naturally.”
“If you turn my hair green, I will kill you. I hope you know this.” Vere responded, sounding very serious.
You knew he wouldn’t, he lost interest in killing you after the first month.
Probably.
Well, you wouldn't know unless you tried. Plus you actually needed some practice to get this right. Not that you would ever use any of your friends as test subjects (or at least ever admit to it).
You didnt turn Vere’s hair green. You did however turn it purple twice by accident. You two had spent the rest of the day trying to make vere look human. It was admittedly a lot less trial and error and more just-
Error. 
It was a lot more frustrating for you than you'd assumed it would be. Which meant Vere had a lot more fun than he expected. But by the time sunset had come around, you had done it.
His scarlet hair was now a deep brown, and his magenta eyes were now a light chestnut color. The markings on his face were gone, as were his claws. The most shocking change of course was the lack of his fox ears and tail. They were still actually there of course, just invisible. After all it was a simple illusion spell, not the kind of magic that could actually change a person. 
It was…strange. You had never really thought of what Vere would ever look like as a human. His face was the same, but something about him felt like it was missing. Or incomplete. It was hard to describe the slight uncanny feeling you felt looking at this version of him.
A snap brought you out of your thoughts. 
“Hello? Still in there? You've been staring for like two minutes” Vere questioned.
“It's weird.” you defended.
“What? Why? What did you do to me?” Vere snapped as he grabbed a small silver mirror out of his pocket.
You watched as Veres eyebrows shot up at the sight of himself. He examined his reflection for a few more seconds, gingerly feeling where his ears were, and looking at the illusionary human ears that now graced the side of his head.
“That's….impressive” he finally stated. “I really look human.”  
“Which means you can go to the boring flower party!” You exclaimed, clearly delighted with your work. Oh yea, you were an incredible friend. 
“Well,-“ Vere pursed his lips. “-what if something happens to disturb the illusion? This kind of magic is easy to break. If only someone would come with me and make sure to be there so if the illusion breaks, they could recast it.” 
You felt yourself deflate slightly. A whole day of sitting around watching flowers bloom? When you could be working and making money? You hadn’t wasted time like that since before you moved to Eridia. 
But it was Vere. If he wanted you to go, you would go. And he already knew it, judging by the smirk on his face. 
You sighed, defeated.
“Fine, let’s go to the party where we all sit around and look at trees. How fun. When is it?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Fuck.”
Vere simply chuckled before looking back down at the mirror, examining his new human appearance. You could also feel him occasionally glance over at you. 
Hmph. Probably shocked you could pull off the spell. Oh he of little faith. 
Just as you were about to flick a peanut at Vere just to be annoying, a drink slid right in front of you, prompting you to look up.
You were greeted with a pair of green eyes and a wide smile. Leander. 
“You looked like you needed a drink. Make a new friend?” He questioned, eyes narrowing. 
“Huh?” You questioned. What new friend was he talking about?
Leander gestured to the now brown haired Vere, who was still looking down at his reflection.
At that moment Vere decided to stop preening and instead hopped off his own barstool, moving behind yours and resting his chin on your shoulder.
“Awe, can the great mage really be fooled so easily? Either they're better at this than I thought, or just as dense as I suspected.”
Leander’s eyebrows shot up. 
“Vere?!?”
Leander’s look of bewilderment quickly turned into realization as he looked back at you. 
“Hey, you figured out that illusion spell from the book! Aren’t you a little prodigy?” He beamed. 
“Hmm. Yes, they are.” Vere smiled, putting his hands around your shoulders.
 Though his fangs were hidden behind your illusion, it was clear he didn’t need them. There was something dangerous about that smile, like the edge of a knife. You had no idea why he had gotten so hostile all of the sudden, and how Leander was keeping such a carefree look on his face.
“Now, they're taking me to the flower festival tomorrow with this lovely disguise, and I refuse to be seen with someone who smells this bad. So how about you head up to your room and hit the showers?”
As soon as Vere finished his sentence you saw a slight twitch in Leanders eye. But you were too busy with the smell comment from Vere to really care. 
To make his point Vere twirled a lock of your hair in his fingers and lightly sniffed it. 
Fucking rude. You didn’t smell that bad! Right? Maybe you should use more shampoo though… after all you don’t need to be so conservative with your products after Vere had gifted you quite a few of his own. Or maybe this was a bit of revenge for that time you had said he smelt like a wild animal? It had been a while since that night, but you did know Vere was one to hold a grudge. 
You lightly shoved him off you and headed upstairs (yes, to take a bath). 
Leaving the boys to glare at each other or whatever they were doing, you headed up and headed to bed. 
The next day, you were up bright and early to accompany Vere to his little party.
And unfortunately, as much as you loathe to admit it, the flowers took away your breath the moment you walked in.
The tiny pink blossoms softly shed their petals, coating the ground in a pale pink haze and leaving a sweet scent in the air.
Speaking of scent, you had made 100% sure you smelt incredible for this damn event. Suck it Fox boy. 
Vere scoped out a spot and called you over, motioning you to set down the outdoor blanket you had brought under one of the trees. 
“I’ll be right back, I’m going to buy some flower oils.” Vere beamed, clearly very pleased that his human disguise was holding up so well, and he had successfully fooled the sinobium. 
You signed and waved him off, plopping down on the blanket you had just laid out. 
As Veres' form receded into the crowd of people, a tall white silhouette appeared to your left.
You gave an easy smile. It was always nice to see Kuras. 
He gave you his own small smile, and you gestured for him to sit.
Vere may have issues with Kuras, but the two of you were perfectly cordial, and you’d even consider the two of you friends.
“So, you decided to go with Vere and not Leander. That’s certainly interesting.” He stated.
You tilted your head to the side in confusion. Why would you be here with Leander?
Kuras seemed to see your confusion, and you watched a familiar mischievous glint appear in his eyes.
“Oh, maybe he didn’t get the chance to ask. How peculiar. Leander was planning to ask you to see this blossom viewing with him.” Kuras stated, calm as ever.
You knew what you wanted to ask. And clearly Kuras also knew what you wanted to ask. But he was being mischievous. And you were being stubborn.
“Well I best be going. I only stopped by for a second, but I need to get back to my clinic.” Kuras stated as he stood up and lightly brushed himself off, looking immaculate as ever. 
He took a step to leave, then looked back at you.
“Yes. Vere knew.” 
And with that, he strode off into the crowd, sparing you from the embarrassment of him seeing your reddening cheeks. 
You were so focused on figuring out if that meant anything, you hadn’t even noticed that for some reason, Kuras had immediately recognized Vere, regardless of the illusion over him. 
You were so absorbed in your own thoughts, you didn’t even notice Vere had returned until he plopped his head right in your lap.
He gave a sniff and his eyes darkened.
“You smell like the doctor.” He spat.
You just shrugged.
“He stopped by for two seconds to say hi.” 
Vere snarled in response, and you couldn’t help but snort at his unfiltered displeasure. 
You began to gently stroke his ears, his real ears, invisible to sight currently, but you knew where they were without sight. 
Ever since he allowed you to touch his fluffy ears, it was one of your favorite things to do whenever he crashed at your place. 
He huffed in displeasure, but almost immediately leaned into your touch, his eyes fluttering closed in contentment as you gently traced your fingers along the back of his ears. He burrowed his head more into your thigh, and wrapped one of his arms around your back. 
“What did he say?” Vere questioned, his eyes still mostly closed. 
Clearly he was trying very hard not to drift off. 
“He just said hi.” You fibbed.
You didn’t know how to bring up what Kuras had told you about, doing so would imply you thought Vere didn’t want you to come here with Leander. Which opens a whole new can of worms.
Seeing that that was all you were going to tell him, he pushed himself up off your lap and leaned back against the tree, scowling. He knew that wasn’t the truth. But it seemed like he didn’t feel like prying either. 
Before you could say anything to cheer him up, he grabbed a bottle from his sack of purchases and took a long swig. It was strong alcohol, you could smell it from here. 
“Do me a favor,” he seethed, glaring at you through his bangs. “Don’t talk to me. I don’t want my flower viewing ruined by you.” 
You could only sigh. If you were going to be friends with Vere, you needed thick skin. Luckily, you had dealt with him enough to expect this. He knew you were omitting some information, and was pouting.
You did feel a little guilty, he wouldn’t be moody if you didn’t hide things from him. But at the end of the day, you were entitled to private conversation with whomever you choose. Vere knew this, which was probably why he resorted to pouting instead of interrogating you for information.
You simply gave him a smile and made the motion of locking your lips shut with a key. 
Vere rolled his eyes and took another heavy swig. Though you could see the sulky look on his face after just a few more sips. He always wore his emotions more plainly when drunk. 
The two of you sat in silence, both enjoying the flowers. It was around sunset when Vere finally seemed to be over being upset with you.
Or he was too drunk to remember. 
He leaned against you, clearly unsteady from all the alcohol.
“Hey.” He slurred.
“Hey.” You responded. 
“Do-
-Do you like me like this?” He questioned. 
“What, absolutely wasted? I mean it is a little funny.” You smirked, and moved so that he could lean against your chest more fully. 
“Ugh. No. I mean human. Still beautiful, obviously, but with brown hair. Like Leanders. No fangs. No claws.”
His voice was slightly muffled as he spoke. 
“Can I be honest with you?” You asked.
“One second.” He responded.
He grabbed one of the bottles of alcohol and chugged the remains. That makes 3 bottles in under one day of some strong drink. Impressive and concerning. 
“Alright, shoot.” He grinned wildly, chuckling low to himself, Gesturing at you to continue. 
“Fuck no.” 
“What?” 
He removed his head from your chest, and leaned back on his arms, looking at you intently, the bewilderment clear on his face.
“You asked if I liked you better looking like this, the answer is fuck no I don’t. If I’m being honest it's a little unnerving. When you walked over earlier I didn’t even subconsciously realize it was you till you laid down on my leg.” You shrugged. 
“Even though my eyes are scary?” He asked.
You let out a bark of laughter.
“Your eyes are not scary.” 
“Even though my hair is blood red?”
“Why would that be a bad thing? It’s beautiful.” 
“Even though I've scratched before?”
“It didn’t even draw blood. And that was my fault. I forgot you had claws and basically rammed my shoulder into them.” 
“Even though I’ve got markings all over my face?” 
“It feels weird if you don’t have them on your face.”
Vere lapsed into silence, pointedly avoiding your gaze.
“I didn’t expect you to be the type to have insecurities.” You cautioned.
Now it was Veres' turn to laugh.
“Oh I assure you, I don’t. I find myself to be the most beautiful creature to exist. I just… wanted to know what you thought.” 
You sighed.
“I really hope you're too drunk to remember this tomorrow, but I think you're the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. Please don’t be insufferable about this.” 
Veres' face split into a lopsided wicked grin.
“Oh darling, I’m going to be so insufferable about this.” 
You just smiled and stood up, gently grabbing Veres arm and helping him stand as well.
“Alright. I need to get home before dark so I don’t get nearly eaten by a soulless. Again.” You say, worry slightly bleeding into your tone.
The sun was already starting to disappear completely from the sky, you needed to get back before the last rays faded. 
“You won’t make it in time. I’ll walk you home and crash at your place.” Vere stated, in a tone of finality.
“Sorry, no. You're far too wasted to fight anything.” You countered.
Vere let out a bitter laugh and tugged in the chain running down his chest. 
“Even with this damn thing limiting me, and 5 more bottles of that drink, I’d still be able to kill any of the pathetic soulless in eridia with one hand tied behind my back. I’m walking you back. That is final.” He declared, then looked at you as if to dare you to argue. 
Vere did a lot of shocking things, but that one motion affected you more than anything he had ever done before. He hated acknowledging the chains around his neck. No matter how much you had come to consider him a friend, you weren’t stupid enough to ever push too hard on that topic. 
You could only nod in agreement. 
“Let’s get out of here then.”
As the two of you walked out of the gates of the sinobium where the grove of flowering trees laid, you let out a sharp snap of your fingers, and the illusion surrounding Vere dropped instantly. 
“That's better.” You remarked.
“Agreed.” Vere smirked back.
The two of you walked back the wet wick in comfortable silence, arriving back well past when darkness had fallen. After all, there was no need to rush.
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