#the people the next street over still have their xmas lights up

[seldnei]

Just sitting in my office with my feet on the window sill, watching Shakespeare videos on YouTube. Nice night.

[expectingtofly]

Dancing in the Square

pure fluff, xmas tree lighting, dean and cas in love, post 15x20

also on ao3

Day 12 of @bend-me-shape-me‘s SPN Advent Calendar 2020 prompts

“Hot apple cider! Two dollars a cup!” rang across the crowded town square as Dean pulled up the zipper of his coat, shoving his hands into his pockets. A large evergreen towered above everyone’s heads in the middle of the square, and Dean smiled seeing Jack stand on his tiptoes to see the tree. 

“Oh, good,” Jack said with a sigh of relief. “The lights haven't been turned on yet.”

“We still have an hour,” Sam said, checking his watch. They had driven to a nearby town for a tree lighting event, and Jack had insisted they leave early to ensure they arrived on time to see the tree being lit.

Castiel hooked an arm in Dean’s, pressing up against his side. “We could fit a tree that size in the bunker.”

Dean snorted. “There’s no way we’d fit it through the door.” 

“Dean, can we get cider?” Dean looked down at Jack tugging on his other arm. “I wanna try it.”

Looking across the street to spot the vendor announcing the sale of cider, Dean shrugged. “Yeah, sure, alright.” Untangling himself from Castiel, he followed Jack across the street, turning back to ask the others, “Any of you want any?”

Castiel nodded. “Yes, please.”

Sam shook his head and Eileen said, “I’m good,” holding up her styrofoam cup of hot chocolate.

Jack waited eagerly at the table where small plastic cups filled with cider were lined up, wisps of steam whisking away in the cold air, and Dean pulled out his wallet, glancing around the square. 

Along the main street stood shops open to the passerby, warm light pouring from the windows. Vendors sold food, warm drinks, and Christmas decorations along the sidewalks. A band played Christmas carols next to the star of the show: a large tree in the middle of the street, ornaments and decorations hanging from its branches, the string lights not yet lit. The whole place could’ve been a Hallmark holiday movie set. The only thing missing to complete the picture was snow, but it was cold enough that Dean didn’t doubt snowflakes would start falling soon.

Paying for two drinks, Dean handed one cup to Jack, who eagerly drank from it. “That’s really good,” he said, nearly draining the cup in one go. Then his eyes widened and he pointed to another table down the sidewalk. “They’re selling gingerbread cookies!”

“You need to get a job,” Dean said. “You’re gonna spend up all our money.”

“I do have a job, Dean, I run the universe.” Jack smiled at him over his cup.

Dean swatted the pom pom on Jack’s beanie. “Don’t get cocky.”

“Cas, Dean wouldn’t buy me a gingerbread cookie,” Jack called, grinning at Dean as they crossed the street back to the group. Castiel raised an eyebrow as Dean handed him the cup of cider.

“Don’t look at me like that,“ Dean said. “If the kid wants one, he can buy his own.”

“It’s Christmas time,” Castiel said. “Don’t be a...” He scrunched up his face as he thought. “Snitch?”  

“Grinch,” Dean said.

“Scrooge would be a better term,” Sam spoke up and Dean gave him a light shove.

“We’ll buy you one later,” Castiel told Jack. “Right, Dean?” He fixed Dean with a look that was incredibly contradictory to his fuzzy blue beanie and mittens wrapped around his cup of cider.

Dean rolled his eyes but wrapped his arms around Castiel’s neck, pulling him back against his chest. “You guys are impossible.” Castiel laughed and Dean kissed his cheek.

The night grew later and colder, the street more crowded. Santa Claus arrived on a firetruck with fanfare. “That’s not very accurate to the lore,” Jack commented, watching Santa Claus wave from his perch on top of the truck. 

“I guess all the reindeer were busy this year,” Dean said and Castiel elbowed him in the side. 

Sam and Eileen went off to look at vendors selling Christmas ornaments. Sitting on the curb, Jack cheerfully ate his gingerbread cookie, and Castiel held onto Dean’s hand, pulling him along the sidewalk to look at the lighted storefronts. “I think we could do this in the bunker’s library,” he said, stopping in front of a window that showcased an elaborate miniature town, complete with a main square, a tiny tree of its own, dancing animatronic elves, and a train that cruised around the ensemble.

Dean stared at the display. “That’s, uh, yeah. Um. We could try.”

“Maybe next year.” They started walking back to where Jack sat, and the band struck up a rendition of “White Christmas,” the carol echoing from speakers set up along the sidewalk. Dean watched Santa Claus make his way down the street, waving to children.

Castiel suddenly halted, pulling Dean to a stop. “Dance with me.”

“What?” Dean looked around at the crowds milling in the square, more people gathering every minute as the time for the lighting drew closer.

“Come on,” Castiel insisted, tugging on Dean’s hand. “No one’s watching.”

“There’s plenty of people watching. And nobody else is dancing.”

Rolling his eyes, Castiel asked, “You defeated God, you’ve fought monsters, and you’re afraid of what other people will think?” 

“I ain’t afraid of what other people think,” Dean protested.

“Then prove it.” Castiel pulled him off the sidewalk onto the open street. 

“I hate you,” Dean said, but he wrapped his arms around Castiel’s waist and let Castiel sway them back and forth. 

It was dark out, he reasoned, glancing at the people around them. They were attracting a few smiles, but no one could really see their faces and no one would remember. He hoped so anyway. He didn’t want to gain a reputation as the weird dancing couple. Maybe Jack could erase everyone’s memories.

“Don’t be so stiff,” Castiel said, pulling Dean’s attention back to him. His nose was red from the cold, his eyes bright in the warm light from the lampposts along the sidewalks. “Get in the holiday spirit, Dean.”

“I am in the holiday spirit!” And, to prove it, he pulled Castiel as close as they could get in their winter coats and kissed him, Castiel's nose cold against his.

Sam and Eileen returned, a grin on Sam’s face, and Dean glared at them over Castiel’s shoulder. “Shut it.”

“You guys are adorable,” Eileen teased, and Sam pulled out his phone to take a photo.

Dean flipped him off behind Castiel’s back. “Eileen,” he said. “How can I sign to Sam, ‘I’ll strangle you with that scarf you’re wearing?’”

Eileen laughed. “We need photo evidence!”

Dean rolled his eyes, but, letting go of Castiel, he spun him around. "If you're gonna get a photo, get a good one," he said. Castiel laughed and pressed up close to him again.

The crowd started counting down from ten, and Dean and Castiel paused in dancing to look at the tree. At one, the tree burst into light, a star at the top twinkling, colored lights flashing around the tree’s branches.

“Wow,” Jack said in awe, craning his neck back to look at the entire tree. Then he glanced at them with a smile on his face and snapped his fingers. Instantly, snow flurries began falling to the ground all around them.

“Did you do that?” Dean asked, as the crowds oohed and aahed.

Jack nodded and put a finger to his lips. “Shh.”

“Thank you, Jack,” Castiel said, wrapping his arms around Dean.

Dean gazed up at the dizzying swirl of snowflakes falling from the sky. “A Holly Jolly Christmas,” echoed around the square. Lowering his gaze back to Castiel, Dean grinned and wiped a snowflake from Castiel’s face with his gloved hand.

“Merry Christmas, he said.

“Merry Christmas, Dean,” Castiel replied with a smile and kissed him in the glow of the Christmas tree.

Tag List

@becky-srs @xojo @marvelnaturalock @aelysianmuse @prayedtoyou @letsjustdieeveryone @good-things-do-happen-dean @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @theninthdutchessofhell @madronasky @famouspsychicpizzabandit @multifandomdisorder @dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you @arcticfox007 @gmos-winter-wonderland @celestialcastiel @improvedpeanut @castiel-is-a-cat

Let me know (message, ask, comment) if you’d like to be tagged in my other destiel fics or removed from the list :)

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

That’s Christmas To Me| Julie and The Phantoms Cast

Dream-a-little-bigger-x’s Countdown to Christmas 

Day 4 

A/N: I got so excited when I saw this one was the next one I had to write! I hope you enjoy! I also wanna thank @calamitykaty​, @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic​, @vrthngiwnt​ and @bright-molina​ for letting me pick your brains and bounce some ideas off of you. I love you loads! 

Pairing: Platonic! JATP Cast x fem!reader

Summary: 2022, season 2 was about to be released on Netflix and the cast was invited to promote the show on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. A dream come true. When the host asks them for their favorite holiday memory together, the cast immediately flashes back to that time at the Christmas Markets. 

Song(s) used: That’s Christmas To Me - Pentatonix | Happy Xmas (War is Over) - Echosmith ft. Hunter Hayes

Warnings: Spiked hot chocolates, but no one gets drunk and no one drinking is underage. 

Words:  3,970

Checking her outfit in the full-length mirror once again, y/n sighed nervously. All dressed out to the max for her very first talk show. Her styling team had outdone themselves once again. The gold flared pants, the white satin button down shirt and the white heels just made her feel so fabulous. 

Though she couldn’t deny the fact that she was nervous. She was going on a live show, not any live show, but the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, nonetheless. Her family watched that show religiously every single night. That thought did not calm her down either. 

A soft knock made her snap out of her thoughts and turn around to find Madison in the doorway with an excited smile on her face. “You look gorgeous!” she exclaimed excitedly and ran up to her newest best friend, engulfing her into a tight hug. 

She was sporting a gray glittery jumpsuit with black pumps strapped on her feet, her makeup done beautifully and her natural curls flowing over her shoulders with bejeweled clips pulling it out of her face. 

“So do you!” y/n retorted with the brightest smile she could muster, though Madison could see right through her and squeezed her hands reassuringly. “My heart is thumping.” The words came out in a whisper as though she was telling a secret. 

“So is mine, but we can do this. We got each other, okay?” 

Y/N and Madison had gotten along straight away the first day y/n came to set. It was nerve-wracking to weasel yourself into a tight group of cast members who’ve already spent two years working together, but they made it so agreeable. The first day, Madison and Owen came up to her and started bombarding her with so many questions about herself and her character. All she knew about the latter was that she’d be Reggie’s love interest and the villain’s niece who worked for him to try and get Reggie, Luke and Alex into his club. Which of course, would not work out as y/n’s character would fall for the bassist too. 

The entire cast welcomed her into their group straight away and the whole process became so enjoyable to the point where it just didn’t feel like work anymore. It just felt like spending time with friends and trying to memorize words and songs at the same time. It was weird. But so much fun. And now, they were able to finally promote said season. 

“Madison, y/n, time to go,” one of the show runners said to them when he passed y/n’s dressing room. The two girls nodded and after a simultaneous deep inhale and exhale of stress, they made their way to the hallway where the boys were waiting. 

Charlie and Jeremy offered y/n a wide smile to ease her nerves a little before Charlie held out his hand in front of him. “We got this. Legends on three?” The others nodded and, with a content smile on her face, y/n placed her hand on top of Charlie’s. 

“One,” said Charlie. 

“Two,” Jeremy and Madison added in unison. 

“Three!” Owen and y/n finished and all five their hands went up in the air as they yelled out “Legends!” Though it was scary, y/n knew she had four amazing people that would guide her through it. 

“Please, welcome the cast of Julie and The Phantoms!” Jimmy introduced them and, while the Roots played the infamous intro song, the cast walked through the red curtain. Madison and y/n ahead, holding one another’s hands as to not fall in their heels, then followed Charlie, Jeremy and Owen. 

The audience cheered and applauded until they sat down and the music faded away. “Welcome, welcome!” Jimmy said excitedly. “Thank you for being here!” The cast beamed at the host, unable to contain their excitement nor nerves. 

“Thanks for having us,” said Charlie, the polite Canadian. 

“So, exciting news, season two of your show Julie and The Phantoms premieres on Netflix tonight, is that correct?” 

“Yes!” all five said, though not quite in unison, and the crowd roared again. Y/N couldn’t hide the smile on her red painted lips as she looked out into the sea of people. 

Jimmy turned to the crowd, “If the people at home have never heard of your show, how would you explain it?” His eyes fell on the girl closest to his desk, which was Madison, allowing her to answer the question. 

“Uhm… Julie and The Phantoms is about this girl, Julie, who tragically lost her mom and, with it, her love for music. That is until one day, she plays this old CD she finds and out pop these three lovable, dorky ghosts who used to be in a band in the 90’s, called Sunset Curve. They died when they ate bad hot dogs--” the crowd let out a laugh, and it made Madison chuckle too. “Yeah! -- Anyway, and so these boys kind of help her find her love for music again and they form a band, called Julie and The Phantoms as the audience can see the ghosts when they play with Julie. And a lot of things happen and it’s funny and light and cute!” 

Jimmy let out a chuckle too, “And now there’s a season 2!” Another cheer erupted from the crowd. “What can you tell us about season 2, Charlie?” he directed the question to the boy next to the newbee. 

“A lot happens! We see what happens with Nick and Caleb, and we meet Philippa, Pips, Covington who will stir up some crazy stuff in the boys’ lives, especially Reggie’s,” he explained with a grin. He stirred in his seat a little before placing his arm on the back of the couch, behind y/n’s head. The girl tried not to react to the overwhelmingly amazing scent of sandalwood that emanated from this movement. 

Jimmy’s eyes landed on y/n and she was certain that for a moment, he knew what she was thinking, but then he asked her a question instead. “How was it for you, y/n, as the newcomer to the cast? Did they immediately embrace you or did  you have trouble being accepted?” 

“I hated it--” she replied seriously,  but then giggled, “No, I loved it! They were so kind and so welcoming, I immediately felt like I was part of their tight group. It did feel strange at first, I’m not gonna lie. But after a while, coming to work didn’t really feel like working anymore.” 

“And your character, Phillipa, was she accepted by the other characters?” 

She cleared her throat of any nerves before answering. “Pippa was… well-- she was working for her dead great-uncle, so she had to make sure she was accepted and weasled herself into the friend group pretty quickly. She knew how to get to Reggie especially and thanks to him, got into their friend group.”

“That’s amazing. I’m so excited to watch! My daughters are eight and nine, and they loved season 1 of Julie and The Phantoms. They’re thrilled to see the new season!” 

A chorus of “aw”s were shared within the cast as well as throughout the audience. 

“Yeah, they’re pretty cute.” He picked up his cue cards to remind himself of the next bullet point he needed to talk about. “Oh! Since it’s almost Christmas, I like to ask my guests to tell us a fun holiday themed story before I send them off, do you guys have a fun holiday themed story for us?” 

The cast exchange glances until Owen asked, “Should we talk about the Christmas market we did last year after filming?” The rest of the cast made sounds of agreement with a few giggles mixed in between. 

“Tell us about the Christmas Market!” Jimmy shouted excitedly, almost resembling a five-year-old getting their Christmas presents early. 

Owen took the lead on this one. “So, we were all in Vancouver, we had wrapped season 2 and we would soon be going home, but we decided to spend one last night together at a Christmas market in Vancouver city…”    

Bundled up in layers of sweaters and a thick coat, y/n trekked through the layer of snow that blanketed to grounds of Vancouver City. She was trying her hardest not to focus on the blistering cold that nipped at her nose but rather on the story Charlie was telling the others in front of her. His voice boomed into the busy streets, along with the others’ laughter. 

She always loved the way Charlie told his stories about every wild adventure he’d ever been on and the way Owen quipped back with the wittiest of comebacks. Or how Madison would chime in with her typical Gen Z humor none of the boys understood. Y/N was sure going to miss the entire dynamic of the group when they were back home. 

Thousands of lights flickered above y/n’s head as they strolled through the entrance of the infamous Vancouver Christmas Market. She let her eyes take in the beauty whilst her stomach fluttered from excitement. Her love for Christmas Markets had never faltered over the years. It still excited her in the same way it did when she was just a child. 

“Can we get a hot chocolate first? I’m freezing!” Savannah suggested, her teeth chattering as she snuggled into her thick scarf. Smiling, y/n hooked her arm around hers and pulled her closer in hopes the warmth of all her layers would help the blonde girl a little. 

“I heard they have a unique recipe that only the Christmas Market here ever uses!” Charlie added with a wide grin before leading the gang towards the warm beverage kiosk. It resembled a cabin from a ski resort, decked out all the way with Christmas lights and foliage. 

The group stood in front of the kiosk and read the menu to figure out whatever they’d want to drink. “Ooh, that Peppermint Hot Chocolate sounds delish,” Owen said, and when y/n’s eyes landed on the words, her mouth curled up into a smirk. 

“We’re going that route tonight, hm?” 

The hot chocolate he was talking about was spiked with peppermint schnapps and chocolate liqueur. This sounded right up y/n’s street, and she knew it would warm Savannah up from the inside. 

“Follow me or don’t follow me, that’s up to you, but I am taking that route tonight.” Owen rubbed his gloved hands together until the lady inside the kiosk looked up at him, signalling that it was his turn to order. “A peppermint hot chocolate, please.” He sounded way too confident for someone who had just turned 21 that year. 

The woman peered over her half-moon glasses, letting her eyes glide from his eyes to his toes before sneering, “ID, please.” Owen’s mouth dropped open and with a lot of cursing underneath his breath, he reached for his wallet. 

“Ha! Owen’s getting ID’d!” Charlie cackled, shaking his head. The woman’s eyes darted over to the second boy, giving him the same one-up before raising her eyebrows as if saying “I’m gonna get you too, little boy”. 

And she did. She ID’d Charlie too. No one else but Charlie and Owen, which everyone had a good laugh at as they were sipping their hot chocolates, which for three out of ten isn’t spiked. 

While Jeremy and Booboo were still teasing the two boys, y/n turned around and let her eyes scan the entire view in front of her. All the pretty lights and the snow whirling to the ground so gracefully and the music floating through the air made the cold more bearable. 

A gasp eliciting from Jadah’s tiny body made y/n snap out of her thoughts and turn to the younger cast member. Her eyes were wide and shimmering, looking up at the tall Christmas tree that was towering above their heads with tens of thousands of lights blinking back at them. 

“Isn’t that the walk-through Christmas tree?!” she asked, excitedly. 

Madison took her hand and, giggling, they weaved through the sea of people towards the one-of-a-kind festive fairyland. Y/N exchanged glances with the rest before they, too, made a beeline towards the tree, dodging people left and right. 

“Hey, Owen, are you sure you’re gonna be able to fit?” y/n asked the tall Oklahoman teasingly. The boy’s mouth dropped open, and before she could properly register it, he started chasing her. She ran past Madison and Jadah, and tried to duck behind any other visitor until he eventually picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. The girl shrieked, prior to a giggle.  

Jimmy’s voice echoed over y/n’s flashback to the most festive night of that year. “You guys really sound like a close group of friends.” 

“Yeah! We are! We’re like a little family!” Charlie replied, dropping the arm that was on the back of the sofa around the girl’s shoulder. 

“What happened next?” Jimmy then questioned, curiously. The whole scene almost resembled a toddler listening to his bedtime story. 

Jeremy cleared his throat with a chuckle. “Well, if this night were a movie, you’d now have a cute montage of us going through that magical tree and on the carousel like little children.” 

“Yeah, you’d see us stuff our faces with churros and pretzels,” y/n added, making Jimmy and the crowd laugh. 

“And we got a lot of Christmas shopping done too!” Madison chimed in with a smile. “I actually got everyone’s present when they were right there with me. None of them noticed.” 

“Oh, no, I noticed,” y/n replied with a smirk, to which Madison reacted with widened eyes. 

“What’s next?!” Jimmy queried. His eyes were glistening as he listened to the cast talk. He just loved their dynamic and how well they got along with one another. 

Y/N continued the story as her mind tumbled back into her daydream. 

The music had stopped just a few minutes ago, but only now y/n’s ears picked up on the sudden absence. Knitting her eyebrows together, she lifted her eyes to the stage in the corner of the market where singers were carolling minutes ago, and was now completely empty. As the small amount of alcohol made her brain a little woozy, her teeth gnawed on her bottom lip in thought. 

“Guys… Should we--Should we go sing a song?” she suggested, causing all of them to look up in surprise. “There’s no one on the stage… Should we?” she pointed at the podium to emphasize what she meant. 

As smiles appeared on each of their faces, the group walked up to the stage and grabbed a microphone each. Charlie reached for the acoustic guitar on the stand, but y/n stopped him. 

“Let’s do a capella for once?” she told him tenderly. 

When his eyes met hers, she felt her lungs expand with the gasp that left her body. How gorgeous could one’s eyes be. But with that one look, the boy also knew what song she wanted to sing. The one song that had been stuck in her head for the past month during filming. And the rest of the crew knew too because when y/n counted them in softly, they all started to sing along. Their voices mingling perfectly and floating throughout the night sky. 

“The fireplace is burning bright, shining all on me I see the presents underneath the good old Christmas tree And I wait all night 'til Santa comes to wake me from my dreams Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me”

Savannah locked eyes with y/n and a smile fell to their lips before they looked out to the audience they had assembled with their harmonies reaching across the entire Christmas Market. 

“I see the children play outside, like angels in the snow While mom and daddy share a kiss under the mistletoe And we'll cherish all these simple things wherever we may be Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me”

Owen came to stand next to y/n and wrapped an arm around her shoulder as they all sang the chorus together, the tall blondie on lead vocals and the others harmonizing in the background. 

“I've got this Christmas song in my heart”

“Song in my heart”

“I've got the candles glowing in the dark I'm hanging all the stockings by the Christmas tree Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me”

As though they had prepared the entire performance, Booboo led them into the next verse while the others acted as backing vocals for him. His warm, deep voice sent chills down everyone’s spines, especially of the people in the crowd. 

“I listen for the thud of reindeer walking on the roof As I fall asleep to lullabies, the morning's coming soon”

His cast mates then joined in again and together, they sang the chorus once again with Jeremy taking lead this time. While they did, y/n took a hold of Savannah’s gloved hand, squeezing it as they looked at each other with intent in their eyes. Like they meant what they were singing to one another. 

“The only gift I'll ever need is the joy of family Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me I've got this Christmas song in my heart”

“Song in my heart”

“I've got the candles glowing in the dark I'm hanging all the stockings by the Christmas tree Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me”

Y/N turned her head to the other side now, locking eyes with Tori and Sacha, and shooting them a wink before they lapsed into the chorus one last time. It felt good to sing with everyone for once. During filming, it was always just a select group of people that got to sing together. 

“Oh, the joy that fills our hearts and makes us see Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me I've got this Christmas song in my heart I've got the candles glowing in the dark And then for years to come we'll always know one thing That's the love that Christmas can bring Oh, why? 'Cause that's Christmas to me”

As the crowd erupted into cheers and applause, the group shared an intense look, one that said they were always going to be friends. No matter how far away they’ll be from tomorrow on. Even if they don’t get picked up for a third season, they’re always going to be there for each other and be the best of friends forever. The only gift they’ll ever need is the joy of family. And they were family. 

“That was so beautiful!” Jimmy exclaimed after they’d told him about everything that had happened that night in a short synopsis. “Now, I believe you’re gonna sing for us now?” 

The cast nodded in unison. “Okay, what are you bringing us tonight? The song you sang at the Christmas market?” 

Madison giggled, “No, though we love that song, there’s one we collectively think is one of the greatest Christmas songs ever. It’s the ultimate classic Happy Xmas, War is Over by John Lennon.” 

“Amazing! You can go get ready!” he gestures to the tiled floor in front of the red curtain where the crew had set up their instruments and five microphones for them. “Catch Julie and The Phantoms season 2 on Netflix from tonight! They’re singing for us now. Madison, y/n, Charlie, Jeremy and Owen, take it away!” 

Owen counted them in by slamming his sticks together and then began playing the rhythm of the song. Y/N then chimed in with the jingling of the tambourine before the other boys and Madison joined with their respective instruments. Soon after, Madison’s voice floated through the talk show’s studio. 

“So this is Christmas And what have you done Another year over A new one just begun”

When the girls lock eyes, they shoot one another a wink before y/n takes over the next part of the verse. 

“And so this is Christmas I hope you have fun The near and the dear ones The old and the young”

Then the boys chime in, their voices mingling as they linger in the air for everyone to hear and enjoy. Y/N lets her eyes dart over to Charlie, who’s already looking at her with a smile on his face. 

“A very merry Christmas And a happy New Year Let's hope it's a good one Without any fears”

The others shut up, giving Charlie the floor now. He really was born to be a rockstar. The way he just owned the stage and looked like an absolute legend, singing his heart out and playing his guitar like a pro. And he’d only started learning when he was on season 1 of Julie and The Phantoms. 

“And so this is Christmas For weak and for strong The rich and the poor ones The world is so wrong”

For a split second, he locked eyes with y/n again as she took over and faced the audience with a smile, still working her little tambourine for the extra jingles. Somehow, this just felt like one of their jam sessions during rehearsals and not at all like it was a live broadcast on national television. 

“And so happy Christmas For black and for white Ooh, for everyone Let's stop all the fights”

Their voices mingled together again, and, in a boost of confidence, y/n grabbed the mic from its stand and walked over to Jeremy, rocking out with him as he shredded on the bass. 

“A very merry Christmas And a happy New Year Let's hope it's a good one Without any fears”

The music slowed down, and while Madi, Owen and Jeremy took care of the soft backing vocals, y/n walked over to Charlie and sang the lines to one another, never breaking eye contact. 

“And so this is Christmas And what have we done Another year over A new one just begun”

The music picked back up. Madison took over this time, and while y/n worked her tambourine, she danced her way towards the Latina girl with a smile plastered on her face. 

“And so happy Christmas We hope you have fun The near and the dear ones The old and the young”

She then turned to Owen as he took over on the next part. He shot her a quick wink whilst his mouth curled up on one side. “A very merry Christmas And a happy New Year Let's hope it's a good one Without any fear”

Each taking their turn, starting with Owen, they all sang a part of the backing vocals while the boys and Madison played the instrumental intermezzo. “Merry Christmas” 

“So this is Christmas”

“War is over now” 

Returning back to her spot, y/n placed her mic on the stand again, and along with the others, sang the very last lines of the song. 

“War is over If you want it It’s over now”

The crowd erupted into cheers and applause while the band assembled in the middle of the stage. Charlie grabbed y/n’s hand and gave it a small, reassuring squeeze. All five of them together took a bow before exchanging knowing glances. 

This time around, they knew they were going to see each other tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that as they were doing all the promo they could. It felt a lot more reassuring than it did that day at the Christmas Market when they had no clue when they’d see each other again. Though all of them knew that this was still the only gift they’ll ever need. Their little found family.  

JATP taglist: @hannahhistorian92​ @marinettepotterandplagg​@thequirkybookaholic​ @bookdealer5​ @tenaciousperfectionunknown​ @hemmingsness​ @iainttakingshitfromnobody​ @ifilwtmfc​ @angryknightstatesmantrash​ @kiss-themoongoodbye​ @rudysbay @thedarkqueenofavalon​​ @caitsymichelle13​​ @calamitykaty​ @wiselight​ @kcd15​​ @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic​ @stars-soph​ @kinda-really-lost​ @notasofti​ @alexpjoyner​ @n0wornever​ @kaitieskidmore1​ @tefilovesreading​ @pxperphxntom​ @crybabyddl​ @parkeret​ @headheartbellarke​ 

Names crossed out are the ones I couldn’t tag. 

Lemme know if you wanna be on my taglist! 

[mydearesthrry]

places we won’t walk (chapter one) || peter parker

summary - the doors at midtown seem a little boring, but when you get introduced to someone you seem to remember, what happens when they seem to remember you too?

word count - 2.9k (wow shes gettin better!)

pairings - peter parker x fem!reader

warnings - like mild mention of s*xual assault, angst if you squint really hard, mj being a softy for you, mj being a lowkey bi, peter being stupid as always, y/n calling peter a colonizer.... thats it ok enjoy

a/n: so i know i last updated in october, but as u all saw i have a 25 days of xnas thing going on (PLS I WROTE THE A/N LIKE A MONTH AGO PLUS I FORGOT ABOUT THE XMAS THING DISREGARD) so pwww updates will be slow (as if they werent already omg) but the next chapter will be arriving hopefully, fingers crossed, on xmas eve or xmas! also, are you guys watching the new euphoria episode? also, i’ve stopped using the word ‘stuttering’, as it may be ableist, and i’d never wanna come off as insensitive. anyway lmao, enjoy chapter one, the trials and tribulations of hitting someone in the nuts.

also side note psa: biggest thank you to @blossomparkers for helping me so much w this chapter. i owe it all tooooo u lani yani. thank u for everything !!!!!

series masterlist | regular masterlist | series playlist

(gif not mine!)

when y/n y/m/n stark was in her early years, she was never aware of the impact her father would and did hold over her life, and in turn, the whole world. for the longest time, you’d always assumed that your father wasn’t real, and everything that had been told to you by malicious family members who were jealous over your father’s “successes” had been lies, and you had it believed yourself. no one would even think that you were tony stark’s daughter until it had been mentioned. tony’s snarky attitude had been a character trait that you’d gotten, and you always took pride in your humor and attitude.

the story of your mother and tony had been messy and all over the place. from a drunken hook-up followed by multiple days of morning sickness, to a surprise pregnancy test, the storyline of your parents had been.. well.. interesting to say the least. you never focused on your family’s history, solely based on the fact that you didn’t have two fucks to give about your family history, but you also never knew your father which was-- bizarre. 

when tony had found out about you, he claimed it was a drunken accident, a mistake, and one he made when he was “less responsibly a stark”, which was actually just some fucking bullshit, but he didn’t wanna admit that he hooked up with some random chick at a bar that he thought was hot.

since you had been raised by a mother who was barely there, you had to raise yourself. you were kinda street smart and book smart, and you were always smart when it came to books, because you were the type to want to learn-- unlike others.

when you were in your teen years, you had tabs on you and the media on you 24/7 to make sure you didn’t royally fuck up. the unwanted attention became too much when you started realizing that people didn’t want you for your personality, they wanted you for your title. but this was after you moved from brooklyn. nuvale and peter never saw you as some “movie star”, or some famous person in the media because you weren’t. but when you had grown to learn what your father did, he had forced you to not fuck up to maintain his-- somewhat okay reputation. 

you always wanted that superstar life, as a fantasy of course, but when you got to it, you realized the cliche-y-ness of it all. you’d idolized the famous women in the media-- idolized how they looked like. you realized fairly quick how fucked up the media truly is. you realized how things really aren’t as they seem. its not just the galas that look extravagant, or getting to wear a fancy new gucci outfit every night. it honestly was a whole bunch of other shit you wouldn’t even imagine. it comes with the no privacy thing- people stalking you in public, the death threats, so much shit that wouldn’t happen as common if you were just anonymous.

being an avenger (basically), your dad had natasha teach you the ropes; the basic rules of how to kick someones ass. it was a handbook that the women of the avengers had created, and it had all the rules and regulations of how to spar someone on the team, and basically how to righteously beat someone's ass up. it was never really something you found too important, but as you grew older, you realized that it was very important to know, especially since you were a girl.

despite your harsh remarks and snarky attitude, your father always knew how to hit a sensitive point in you that always managed to break you down. you never quite understood why he would want to make you feel worse about yourself than you already felt, but regardless, you always felt underappreciated by him. being a stark, you were expected to be a genius, get over the top grades, and constantly be able to keep up, but with your luck, you were graced with depression, social anxiety, and a 4.0 gpa. fun, right? 

wrong.

when you were 11, you had made friends with the kids in your apartment halls, and you learned that their names were nuvale jones and peter parker, and you were basically the golden trio. you were hermione, peter was ron, and nuvale was harry. which, now that you look back at it, makes much more sense than any other arrangement. you also had another friend, harry osborn, but once he moved away, there was no way for you to talk to him anymore. he had moved across the country to california, and from then, it was just you, peter, and nuvale. your best friends ha been there for you for what seemed like decades, although you only knew them for about three.

peter was the boy with the rosy cheeks who little 12 year old you would get butterflies in her tummy. or the type of boy to bring you an extra snack if you weren’t able to pack it the night before. he was the type of boy to walk you to the nurses office if you got hit with a dodgeball. he was the type of boy to fall for someone like you. but he didn’t. or so you thought. 

little prebubescent y/n was an awkward girl who thought the world would be on her side when she needed it the most, or that whenever you needed peter or nuva, they would be there. you didn’t think your best friend would stop talking to you after you had moved away. you were too naive to know that peter liked you, and you were too naive to know that he had liked you back, but you wanted to believe what your brain would tell you, so you decided to flush your feelings down the drain and forget about them, which, in hindsight, was a pretty shitty idea. who would’ve known?

your alarm clock blared loudly from beside you, causing you to let out a loud groan in protest. you hit the side of your head angrily, then whining and rubbing the spot which you hit. whines and loud sighs fell from your lips as you rubbed the sleep from your eyes and pulled the covers over your head, knowing what would come next after you would try to snooze your alarm.

“good morning, miss stark, how could i be of service to you this morning?” friday’s voice echoed through your large bedroom. you peaked your eyes and forehead from beneath the covers, your eyes slowly starting to adjust to the light that was pulled through the big blinds which were now open. 

“mmm, fri, just tell happy to get the car ready, ill be ready in a few min- nevermind, tell him to get ready in thirty, im probably gonna fall asleep in the shower.” you croaked, taking your phone from the charger which was on your nightstand. you slipped on your bunny slippers and turned on the heater in your room, the draft filling your room with cold air throughout the night.

-------

once you walked through the large industrial doors of midtown’s cafeteria, everyones voices started to drop into sharp hushed whispers, making you roll your eyes and pull your hood up over your face. you pulled your airpods from your pockets into your ears and tried your best to avoid any and all eye contact with anyone you did end up coming into contact with. you walked over to the food bar where you grabbed a red school tray and plastered on your best smile to the lunch ladies who work oh so hard to make sure you all were fed. as you walked through the line, you could feel the intensified stares on you, making your back erupt in chills. you didn’t like to be watched, and the fact that you were a so-called celebrity didn’t help your cause in any way. 

“hey.” a low voice called from behind you. it was a girl with curly hair with gorgeous light brown skin, and a jawline that would cut you. you were almost astonished by her beauty, but you remembered the facade you had to hold, especially to strangers that you didn’t know.

“hey?” you asked unsurely, wondering if she was with the media or not. which was something that tended to happen quite a bit.

“don’t worry, i’m not with the press. you just seem interesting.” she said in a monotone voice, but still with a strong look of seriousness on her face. you giggled softly when your eyes locked and your faces went totally still, making the girl in front of you laugh as well. she held out her hand in front of you, while also balancing her tray and book in the other hand. you placed yours into hers and shook it, smiling when she told you her name.

“michelle jones.” she smiled, your throat getting a little tight at her last name, and you had to admit that it struck a little chord within you, but you quickly cleared it from your thoughts and introduced yourself as well.

“y/n stark. pleasure to meet you, jones.”

“pleasure to meet you too.”

“so, i get that you’re new here,” she started walking, inviting you to walk along with her. “what- what are you doing here? i mean i get you’re smart and all, but this is a nerd school; you literally could’ve gone anywhere, so, might i ask, why here?”

“hm, interesting question. seriously i don’t know. my dad and i don’t really get along so he makes the decisions and i tell him if i like it or not. which by the way, i’m gonna have to stay near you-- you’re the only one making this bearable for me right now.” you snorted, nudging your elbow to hers. 

“hm, daddy issues. great song, love the artists.” she smirked, making you shoot your head back in loud laughter, gaining some side eyed glances from a few people sitting at the tables around you.

“so, where are we sitting? i usually nev-”

“hey mj!” you were interrupted by a boyish laugh and hoots and hollers coming from a table two tables ahead of you. 

“jesus fucking christ. what? just because i got some and you didn’t doesn’t mean that you have to be that fuckin’ loud about it.” she grumbled, placing her tray down, slinging the backpack on her right shoulder beside her. you looked at her with a nervous but curious glint in your eyes. she gave you a knowing look which said, ‘just go with what i say’, making you nod in understanding.

“woah! holy shit! i m- i mean woah- nice to- nice to meet you!” the boy fumbled over his words, looking at you and michelle in disbelief, shaking his friends shoulder and poking at his cheek.

“nice cut, g. looks nice.” you said to him, giggling as you stuck your straw into the mini juice box.

“o-oh, thanks… g?” he said back to you, observing your looks with a confused expression written on his face making you giggle at his confusion. 

“peter! look! y/n stark is at our table!” he whisper shouted to his friend, making you look at michelle with a smile on your face and playfully rolling your eyes. she looked back at you, rolling her eyes as well, gesturing to her head as if saying ‘idiots’, making you giggle and turn back to them. 

“so, bowl cut dude, what’s your name?” you nodded to him, picking at your salad with the blac spork that was so cordially given to you by mj. 

“n-ned, ned leeds.” he smiled sheepishly.

“and you, colonizer, what’s your name?” you tapped on the table, alerting the boys attention. you could hear michelle and ned hollering and snickering from their seats, but decided to keep your poker face rolling. but i mean, how couldn’t you? the look on his face was absolutely priceless. 

“peter park- wait did you just call me a colonizer?” he cut himself off in his own sentence, looking at his other friends for confirmation, to which they nodded, still cackling at the fact that you had indeed call him a colonizer.

“peter park, hm?” you teased, ignoring the way you hesitated and ignoring the way your chest felt heavy when the name of peter was said.

“n-no thats not my name-” he said, tripping over his words, making you let out a chuckle. 

“i’m messing with you. with what you’ve given me, i could only guess your name is peter parker?” you rested your chin on your hand, engaging in the awkward conversation.

“yeah. thats my name.” he said more confidently, giving you a tight lipped smile.

“nice to meet you, parker.”

“you too, stark, my pleasure.”

----

after the small encounter with your new found friends, you had gone back to your respective classes, which meant that your next class had peter in it. after you had split up, you decided to get there early to avoid any commotion surrounding you.

as the boring class continued, you heard the loud clicking of high heels in the hallways, which had to be one person and one person only.

“stark,” someone shouted from the door which swung open. low and behold, in front of you was the prickly bitch, your principal, mrs cunningham. “come with me, eugene’s parents have requested a meeting with you and your father considering that you had just hit their son in the private areas!” everyone snickered and laughed. finally someone had stood up to flash’s shit. 

“y- you punched flash in the nuts? i thought that was just a rumor?” peter stuttered, looking at you in disbelief.

“yeah, the fuck was i gonna do? let him flirt with me? no. that bitch tried to grab my ass. i’m a stark, i was raised better than that.” you whispered to him, packing your bag as you did so.

“hm, guess you’re right. well, good luck stark.” 

“thanks parker.”

--------

once you arrived in the principals office, you saw what seemed to be his mother in one of the seats decked out in expensive pearls and diamonds. typical.

“little miss over here punched my son in the privates! i will not allow this to happen!” fuck. you thought; another one of those stuck up cunty parents.

“pfft, probably paid to get their son into here.” you muttered under your breath, playing with your protection bracelets incase anything was to ever happen.

“wHAT? mrs cunningham, i will not allow this child to talk about my son this wa-”

“hello! i was called in?” a voice interrupted, one you could only peg as your father.

“ahh! mr stark! you’re finally here!” your hilarious excuse as a principal said cheerfully.

“i am! and i am here to.. come and have a meeting about my daughter's- behavior?” he asked questiongly, already seeing the triumphant and cocky look on your face. he knew you weren’t at fault, and you were gonna lie your pretty ass out of it.

“well, mr stark, we have a student in the nurses room due to the actions of your daughter!” she looked at him menacingly. he shook his head with a smile on his face and walked over to you, grasping your shoulders in his hands.

“well kiddo, wanna explain what and why you did what you did?” he smiled, giving you two taps on your shoulder, already knowing what was next. you two had a pretty good acting schedule when it came to it, when in reality, you despised eachother.

“sure daddy! eugene had been hitting on me for several days now, and even found my private social medias in use to.. how can i say this, use me for my fame? he tried talking to me, very inappropriately on several occasions, and even went as far as to try and grab me in areas in which i find extremely inappropriate, without my consent, might i add, which doesn’t seem okay with me. does it seem exceptional to you, mrs thompson?” you asked, while only keeping your eyes on his mother.

“why, i am so sorry miss stark! his father will be in contact, i did not raise my baby to be this way! im sorry for any inconvenience he may have caused you!” she gasped, raising a hand to her heart. 

“it’s okay, i just request, may this never happen again? i would not like my privacy to be invaded, much less from your son, and can i please ask that he never try to hit on me, nor any girls at this school ever again? i can only imagine how many other girls this may have happened to, mrs thompson.” you sighed, your eyes filling up with fake tears. you reached up to touch your fathers hand, tapping it twice back, knowing that you both had just won.

“never again miss stark, once again, i am so sorry this happened to you.” 

“it’s okay. now mrs cunningham, shall we see our way out?” your father answered for you, looking over at the old white woman who looked like a piece of cheese. she could only nod in awe, giving you the cue to pick up your bags and walk proudly to the door.

“thanks i guess.” you muttered, pulling out your airpods once more, hoping to seal the conversation with your father.

“yeah yeah, no problemo.” he muttered back, avoiding eye contact and stuffing his hands in his  pockets. 

once you reached the door, you remembered that you had left something in your locker, and informed your dad that you’d be going back to get it. he all but nodded and looked back at his shoes before trudging to the car.

once you entered the seemingly halls, much to your surprise, you saw a scrawny teenage boy lifting open a set of lockers, which you didn’t even know was possible, and pulling out a red and blue suit. once you saw who the hands belonged to, your mouth fell agape as you gasped,

“peter?”

[of-another-broken-heart]

Today has been hard. And a lot.

I took some tylenol last night to help with cramps. It worked so well, I forgot why I’d taken them by the time I was actually trying to get to bed. I couldn’t remember when, exactly, either, so I didn’t risk taking more to safeguard my attempt to sleep.

It took a lot to get to sleep. I had dreams. I was on vacation again (recurring theme) with family (recurring theme) and all the fun/relaxation was offset by people making things dramatic and stressful. I had my car with me. It was not operating reliably (another recurring theme in my dreams). I don’t think I dreamed specifically of Alex. Doesn’t matter too much, since it takes all of 0.02 seconds for me to think of him once I wake up. And I was waking up every 1-2 hours. 

I stayed in bed all the way until I needed to drive sister to work. Not sleeping much. Just... unable to get up. Too tired. Too exhausted. Too sad. Too purposeless. 

I decided to spend some of a gift card I got for xmas. After I dropped sister off, I resolved to buy myself a meal from McDonald’s. I was planning to get a burger that came with lettuce and onion and maybe tomato. I did not end up doing that, though. I saw they had a spicy crispy chicken sandwich meal, and it was only $6. So I did that instead. It was not very crispy. The spice was good. It took me nearly a full half hour to eat. I thought I had a tooth brush in my purse, but I couldn’t find it. I had some emergency travel picks, and I used one of those, but there were still some places in my fucked up teeth that held on to some food bits that I just had to deal with until I got home. 

But I didn’t go straight home. I put in my refill for my levo yesterday, so I figured I’d pick that up. And my gas tank was dipping below the 1/4 mark, so I figured I should put the last of my cash in it. 

The pharmacy was a small little hell. A lady walked in right before me, but didn’t take any undue time or act obnoxious. An older man came in after me - and jumped to the front of the line, because I was following the 6-foot distance guidelines and I guess he was too good to do the same. He flagged down no fewer than 3 of the employees to help him at the same time, asking for prescription refills (that he hadn’t requested in advance), chatting up the actual pharmacist, and then wandering around bragging about buying out certain supplies off the shelves for his/his wife’s diabetes.  While all that was going on, another guy walked in, and stood so close to me that his phone was next to my head when he held it up to look at it. Even in pre-pandemic times, that’s too fucking close. I moved away. He immediately closed the gap. I moved away again, to the counter this time, sputtering out “Six feet, please, sir!” and while he didn’t have anything to say back, he at least stayed put at that point.  The cashier was still half tied up with the demanding diabetes guy, but he asked who was next (it was me, and Mr. No Personal Space indicated as much, too) so I was able to ask for my meds and start getting out coins to pay the dollar it’d cost. I’m almost out of change. I mostly just have pennies left now. Dropped two quarters, four dimes, and ten pennies to cover my expense - set them in separate stacks on the counter to make it easier on the cashier, who verbally thanked me for the consideration before I made my way out of there and to the gas station. 

Gas is $3 per gallon here, now. I did not know that. It was $2.60 last time I bought any - not even 2 months ago. I put the last $20 of cash I had in Jenny. Not even 7 gallons. Getting out of that parking lot was annoying. I waited my turn, I waited... the person who had the right-of-way just didn’t go. Just plain did not go. Sat on their phone blocking me and 1 other person because she was supposed to go, and if either of us went, then she went, it’d be a big problem. Then when she finally moved (after the light had changed and there wasn’t any more room left) I had to go across the street into a different parking lot just to get out of the way of the people in the gas station parking lot, and then turn around, and then there still wasn’t room for me to pull out of the fucking parking lot because a goddamn pick-up truck rolled up while I was turning around, taking the spot in the road that I could have slipped into. But at least no one else came after that, and when the light finally changed again, I just got to cruise out and get back home without any further headaches. 

The whole time in the car, I felt like I was playing Russian roulette with the radio. From eating lunch to pulling back in the drive way after getting gas - will this song reduce me to an inoperable sobbing mess? How about this one? This one??? I have to drive with the radio off most of the time now. Because that’s how fucked up and raw I am now. 

I got home and checked my emails. Birthday is in a few days, and I get more well-wishes and gifts from corporate programming than I do from people I know. I got a message from Torrid. $10 to spend. I didn’t have very high hopes, but I spent a while clicking through the online clearance listings. I was pleasantly surprised to find a few things I did actually like, and could use, and which would (individually) be nearly free with the $10 birthday spending.  The first was a simple sport bra with a strappy back. I like those. They’re practical, and most of the ones I have are old and not fashionable at all. That one was only available in a single small size, though.  Next I found a pair of boots. I already have a pair of boots, but I like boots. And these were marked down to like, $12 and their original price was over $70? Bonkers good deal. And they were wide calf by default, because Torrid, so hell yeah? There was the option for extra wide, but that seemed like they’d be too big on me (given that standard wide calf fit me pretty perfectly with my existing pair of boots). They were in stock in my size, so I put them in the cart.  Then I found another sport bra. Originally $50, down to $11-something. It was only available in a 3... which might be a size too big for me, or it might be perfect. It was a zip-front black bra with little white stars on it. I put it in my cart, too.  I planned to pick one and remove the other. I had a little money in my Paypal to cover the difference, but I can’t spend a lot. But it was a really good deal... two items that originally totaled like $125, subtotaled to less than a fifth of that. And a ten dollar credit to apply on top, so it was only $13 or so that was left to cover?  $13 for a pair of boots and a new sport bra??  It has to get delivered to the store one town over (or it would have cost an extra $6 and taken longer) but I placed the order.  Happy Birthday to me, from Torrid (and the people whose donations I still had some leftover from. 

My teeth are bothering me so much. I want them fixed. I can’t make the calls. 

I need a new doctor, I need to be taken seriously, I need so much help. And I can’t make the calls. 

The precious few people who were slap-shod forming a support net for me, have mostly dispersed. I’m drowning again, and the promised life raft isn’t even coming any more. The boat that was supposed to be a sanctuary has dropped anchor somewhere far away and is not an option, any more. Not really. 

I just want to talk to and be with Alex. And I can’t.  I can’t. It’s one-sided. I’m wrong. It never should have happened, and I’m paying the price. I was never supposed to be happy. It was a fluke. I have to pay for it, now.

[rostii]

goings on in the neighbourhood: - my next door neighbours have a CRABAPPLE tree which is in fruit right now, i was playing a game with the kids today where they throw an apple up really high and i try not to get hit in the head when it comes back down - the new people who live over our back fence are in a band so in the evenings we can hear them practice, its not super loud so its nice (they also have a vibrant blue tiktok light for their back room which looks SO cool) - my childhood best friend who still lives 2 streets away bought rollerskates recently so we’re gonna learn to skate together when the weathers better, i haven’t seen her in over a year so i’m very excited for it - my 7 year old neighbour got rollerblades for xmas & wants to go skating with me too :’) - the house on the corner which used to have silkie chickens in their front yard (and has had a beehive instead for the last 7 months) has recently put some shoes in the garden, this news came in the form of a very excited text from my brother

[maviemesregles]

Once I was an Eagle

Thanks to all who keeps following this story! For all your lovely comments and messages in DM. <3

I've had so much fun writing this chapter. Xmas music was on as early as November started and inspiration hit me to write a wee bit of festivity. Hope you enjoy it!

P.S. Of course for full experience turn on your Christmas playlist or just listen to Michael Buble album ;)

Thanks to my beta @eclecticstarlightconnoisseur​ as always :)

Read on AO3.

Chapter I: The beginnings

Chapter II: Sassenach

Chapter III: Catharsis

Chapter IV: Lovestruck. Part I

Chapter V: Lovestruck. Part II

Chapter VI: Flecks of Sun

                                 Chapter VII: Mince pies & baubles

December

I used to think that I have grown out of loving Christmas time. In fact, I turned Scrooge-like and annoyed everyone around me with remarks about how this time has turned into something cynical, commercial, plastic. It wasn’t about love or family or Christianity anymore. Damn me, my Catholicism would be as fake as the myriad of Christmas advertisements. But this year something has changed. Or rather someone has changed it. 

The snowflakes were dancing around the narrow streets of Edinburgh draping the roofs in white fluffy blankets. The naked trees outlining the alleys and parks and the dull grey sky were a reminder of the seasons changing. The chill in the air made people wrap their scarfs around their necks while their coats kept them toasty warm. Rosy-cheeked and smiling, the young, old and the smallest ones were peering into the shiny, glittery shop windows. My feet froze in front of one featuring a festive woodland scene. I noticed my own reflection in the shiny glass, seeing a smile touch my lips as I gazed upon the scene. The eyes of Beauchamp who was happy. I really was. Dizzyingly, drunkenly, unbelievably happy.

The whole month has passed since that horrifying evening that made me think of the possibility of losing Jamie. 

The whole month of visits to Broch Mordha, of Jenny teaching me to cook (and failing), of Brian showing me different surroundings and telling me fascinating stories of the family Fraser (or clan as he called it).

Of me laughing until I would cry at the jokes Jamie’s godfather Murtagh made.

Of getting drunk and singing on the streets with Jamie and his childhood friends Angus and Rupert.

Of that sweet, touching feeling that made me so sentimental when Jenny and Ian’s children would call me Auntie Claire.

Of Geillis and me spending quiet cozy evenings together in my kitchen with a bottle of red.

Of Jamie and me trying to find a secure corner in Lallybroch to make love without being interrupted by his family.

Of us making plans for the summer and where we might spend our first vacation together. (me suggesting Rome, Jamie saying Amsterdam would be more interesting)

Of arguing over that for the first time and then having makeup sex that made the hairs on my skin rise and hide my eyes away from the neighbours the next day.

Of catching a cold and then giving it to one another, spending two days at home, snuggled up on the couch in the company of disgusting snotty tissues.

Of twenty-three mornings, days and nights of Jamie making me coffee, greeting the sunrise together and making love in the darkness of the night.

Of five hundred hours saying I love you.

* * * 

“Claire? What takes ye so long? I’ll freeze all my manly bits down here waiting for ye.” Jamie’s voice sounded muffled, mixed up with the noise of the traffic outside. “Ye ken, ye could put on a Tesco bag as a dress and yer still be the most bonnie and sexy lass I’d ever seen.”

Snorting (not ladylike at all and reminding Adso to be a good boy), I put on the only pair of heels I’d own (sleek and shiny, black stiletto) finally making it outdoors.

December 20th was the day Geillis threw a Christmas party each year. Though this time I’d much prefer to stay at home with Jamie trying to recreate his mom’s Gingerbread cookies recipe. But, I could not say no to my best friend.

Jumping into the car I cursed feeling all the sharp embroidery of the dress I’d bought (a black bodycon, fully covered in beads, ending just slightly above my knees) dig into my skin.

“Jesus H.Roosevelt Christ!” I hissed as my hand immediately reached for the button of the heating control. “Of course you’d freeze everything in here, you bloody Scot.”

Expecting Jamie’s usual reaction - rolling his eyes, saying something in Gaelic I did not understand (on purpose), and then laughing at me, I turned my head.

“What?”

His mouth was slightly agape as his eyes travelled from my feet up to my body. Lingering for a second on my hips, he licked his lips. By the time his gaze reached my face, his eyes darkened becoming a stormy blue.

“What?” I repeated, shifting on the leather seat. 

“Fuck,” All of a sudden he sounded exactly the same when he whispered my name with last thrusts inside me. “Yer the most gorgeous woman I’d ever seen, Sassenach.”

My heart started beating out of control. The way he looked at me - I already was seeing the stars without even being touched.

“Fuck?” My brow quirked in a question as I leaned to him, taking a fistful of his white collar. “Are you suggesting something, my lad?”

He swallowed. Not able to resist I dragged my tongue over his Adam’s apple. His skin tasted bitter (the cologne he’d used) and a bit stinging (the remnants of the stubble).

“I’ll have ye until ye forget yer own name,”  Jamie’s finger drew intricate patterns up my leg, sliding over the black material of stockings. 

My breath hitched as his hand slipped under the hem of my dress.

I bit my lower lip thinking Geillis would kill me if we were late. And surely my redheaded friend will make all kinds of inappropriate guesses as to why we did not arrive not on time.

Jamie removed his hand just as if he read my mind.

“Though there are at least a million and one things I would love to do to ye right now,” he brought his hands back to the steering wheel. “I canna wait another hour for ye to dress. And ye’d definitely need to change afterward.”

Jamie gave me the most awful wink that made me laugh out loud.

“I’ll hold you to a million and one things, James Fraser.”

As the evening progressed, we drank (wine and whisky, clearly a regret in the morning), Jamie devoured at least a dozen of canapes complaining that there’s no real food (and Geillis assuming with a smirk that “Claire, do ye no feed yer Highlander?”). We danced. My cheek resting just above his heart, arms wrapped around his neck, Jamie’s hands on the small of my back.

I ached. I felt hot and needy. More and more with each hour of Jamie’s innocent (not at all) words and texts (though we barely left each other) of what he was going to do to me once we are home. 

An accidental (not) brush on Jamie’s leg with the tip of my shoe under the table.

A squeeze of his hand on my hip as we danced.

A chaste kiss in the company of Geillis watching us and the one that took my breath away when no one paid attention.

On our way back the car windows steamed up with alcoholic breath or perhaps it was from the mist of desire floating between us.

When my aching feet crossed the threshold, kicking off the shoes, Jamie’s hand closed the door pressing me against it. The skin on my face was hot, flushed. But Jamie's fingertips ran over my heated body leaving a pleasantly cool trail over my cheek and neck.

I was nothing but my body. The dim hall light blurred into one endless mirage. He was kissing me then. The tip of my nose. With a quite mumble “cute one”.

His lips hot with desire blazed a path of sweet kisses. My eyelids. Cheeks. Lips.

When my dress fluttered down my body to the floor with a soft rustling Jamie led me to the bedroom.

Our lovemaking was the bridge to one another that we had built and rebuilt every time our bodies joined. In the aftermath, we laid in the darkness of the room with the only sound of Adso’s purring interrupting the pleasant stillness.

Limbs still entwined, Jamie drew me even closer seeking to imprint our union forever into the skin. I curled up around him, my lips pressed to a soft curl on his neck.

Through the soothing warmth of sleep, I thought I heard Jamie mumble something about buying a Christmas tree and going to Broch Mordha.

For where all love is, the speaking is unnecessary. It is all. It is undying. And it is enough.

* * *

Mornings in winter were very dark and cold. But at the same time cosy and serene, despite the cold that drew a frozen lace upon my cheeks each time I ran down to my car in a hurry to warm it up. Nights last much longer bringing that peacefulness with them. It was my favourite time. I could curl up covered by a heavy duvet, wrapped up in Jamie’s embrace, listening to his heartbeat. The darkness of winter mornings was a chance for my lips to find that hollow space on Jamie’s neck in the dark, where he was tender and delicate. I would press a kiss there, his skin smelling musky with his own perfume and the memory of our lovemaking. 

Later, when the sun warmed up the room, my legs felt like Jello from morning sex and I dissolved limp and slick as I lay on top of Jamie. Despite my amorous morning activities, my mind was still partly sleepy. Jamie, on the other hand, was out of bed in seconds, urging me to hurry up. In the end, it wasn’t a dream about buying a tree. Jamie had the whole plan set up and I obediently followed him. Though I wasn’t sure why I’d need a Christmas tree when we were going to celebrate in Broch Mordha with his family.

Morning began with having fresh croissants in the bakery with herbal tea and polishing off with mulled wine from the market stall (Jamie saying it’s not a crime at this time of the year after my remark that we look like chronical alcoholics sipping Gluhwein in the middle of the day).

Jamie stoically handled my nagging about the pine needles that’ll be all over my beige carpet,  Adso’s misbehaving and surely kicking the tree down, and how awful we are chopping down the real one.

He rolled his eyes only several times as I kept choosing one tree over another. We’d spent about three hours at the tree farm, becoming cold to the point I couldn’t feel my toes anymore. We struggled for thirty minutes to load the green beauty to Jamie’s car and laughed so hard, the passerby surely thought us mental.

I had spilled the hot cocoa all over my jacket and dropped mushy marshmallows to the car seat. Jamie hoovered the insides of his car for another hour trying to get rid of the pine needles and the mess I’ve created. He cursed in Gaelic every other second as he tried to fit the three through the doorway. All of this adventure was so far away from the perfect but it felt so real, so ours, and so magical.

“I love you.” I whispered into his lips, being held up high in Jamie’s arms. I retrieved a box of vintage tree ornaments and lights from the highest shelf in my flat knowing that they would be just perfect on our tree.

When the pink and fluffy skies turned into the dark-blue, Jamie and I sat on the floor amongst packets of tinsel, tangled lights, and shiny baubles.

My life never resembled anything close to what one would see on a TV commercial. It had been some time since I truly felt happy at Christmas, now I felt as though that feeling of peak and joy come back.

As the second mug of tea was drunk, I sat with my back pressed to Jamie’s chest, his knees as two guards around my hips. The Spotify Christmas playlist and the warmth of Jamie next to me made me feel half sleepy as I lazily dug through the decorations.

“Where did ye get all of those?” He pointed to the box of baubles.

My fingers that fought stubborn mess of tangled lights, froze.

“It’s from my childhood.” My voice sounded distant. “I know it’s a pile of old crap, but I could never throw it away.”

Jamie’s lips softly touched the back of my neck.

“Tis no crap, Sassenach. Tis yer memories. And ye should always keep em here.” His hand came around my chest and laid over my frantically beating heart.

Suddenly my mind conjured up the picture that was still so vivid. It is 1991 and our Christmas tree is ridiculous. At least that’s what four years old me thinks and I don’t forget to inform my dad of my thoughts. My father stands on the ladder that dangerously wobbles as he tries to secure a star on top of the tree. There is Miracle on 34th street rolling on TV and my mum plugs in the Christmas lights. I happily squeal and grin at the sight of it. My parents kiss and I say it’s gross but just then dad chases me over the room to give me sloppy kisses on my cheeks. I explode with giggles and ask for the hundredth time when Santa is going to come. We eat the best roast dinner and watch Home Alone, the three of us curled up on the couch. I’m beyond thrilled I’m allowed to stay up late but fall asleep right after the movie finishes. In the morning I am a proud owner of a doll in a blue dress that Santa had brought me. 

And now I realize that Christmas tree from distant 1991 was just the perfect one. As perfect as the one I was looking at now, with Jamie’s arms wrapped around my waist. 

It was tall, brushing the ceiling, filled with all the ornaments I own, bathed in tinsels and ceramic snowflakes. 

“Shall we?” Jamie kissed the tip of my ear and plugged the lights in.

The tree shone and my heart together with it.

“It’s beautiful.” 

“Well, now I have to move my things in here.” Jamie spun me in his arms humming to Buble’s version “It’s beginning to look like Christmas”

My brows furrowed as I escaped his embrace to steal a piece of mince pie we’d bought two days earlier. (Jamie with an almost childlike squeal plodded down the aisle of Christmas stuff in Waitrose, saying we must get these).

“Why so?” I pinched his jaw with my forefinger and thumb.

“For one,” Jamie raised a finger to tap down my nose, followed by a slightest of lips brush. “I’m terribly worried for the health of yer wee cheetie. Those awful candles ye buy and burn, Sassenach. A Dhia, the poor cat will suffocate.”

I snorted.

“Nonsense. You love it.” 

A high-pitched squealing left my throat as I tried to escape Jamie’s hand that made an attempt to smack my arse. Adso that has been observing his parents from a nest made out of a duvet on the couch sniffed, yawned and walked away, showing with all his being how ridiculous we are. (And yes, Jamie declared that now he’s the full-time dad to my cat taking into account the amount of time he spends at my flat).

“And second of all,” my boyfriend with a grace better than Adso’s reached me in two steps. “We have bought a Christmas tree together. That’s a commitment. A serious one.”

Failing in my attempt to hide behind the aforementioned tree I let Jamie take me by the wrist, drawing me into his arms. He let his hands scatter down my sides, stopped for a second to knead my hips, finally squeezing my bottom with the most mischievous look I’ve ever seen him make.

“God, yer arse.” 

“A commitment?” I licked my lips feeling my heart beating frantically. “What you have in mind, Mr Fraser?”

Jamie started to sway us in a slow rocking dance motion, turning off the main light with his left hand. The room sank into a cozy glow of Christmas lights that flickered on the baubles and tinsel. The candles that lived on my coffee table (now Christmas edition - Spiced Gingerbread and Twisted Peppermint) gave a touch of a true home, drawing the shadowy patters on the wall. As the voice of Buble sang “I’ll be home for Christmas, you can plan on me…”

Jamie leaned forward to kiss me with a whisper.

“I think we should move in together, Claire.”

[szopenhauer]

Have you ever tried to walk on a moving vehicle and fallen over?: I didn’t fall When was the last time you were a passenger in a car and sat in the back?: I always sit in the back

What is the longest your hair has ever been?: to my butt Who does the grocery shopping in your household?: we all do but me and dad most often What is the best thing you’ve ever bought at a thrift shop?: I bought so many things! Have you ever been pulled aside by security at the airport?: not applicable Do you watch The Simpsons regularly?: I don’t but I like this show anyway :) Did you ever go to summer camp when you were younger?: twice Do you know anyone who is fluent in a second tongue?: me Have you ever been pressured into doing drugs? Did you say yes or no?: I said no

When you were younger, did you have a swing set or a playhouse in your backyard? had a swing Do you burn incense? I heard it causes cancer :(

Does being in love make you nervous? yep Have you ever been so quiet that nobody noticed that you were there? from what I remember Did you ever stop having feelings for someone and then started having those feelings again for them? yeah Do you stay home when you are sick or do you still go out? stay home What’s your relationship with the person you last texted? we’re datinh Have you had more than 3 gfs at the same time? nooo Are you in a good mood right now? sigh... Have you kissed someone with braces? I have XD Who’s your favorite redhead? real, celeb or character?

How do you feel about being in the house alone? cool When was the last time you burnt your mouth from eating something too hot? it happens often as I don’t feel it being hot most of the time :( Do you prefer instrumental songs or ones with lyrics? lyrics Do you have any old friends who you still kinda speak to but it’s awkward? sigh...  When was the last time you used a quote from a movie in real life? today? Do you forget things easily? depends/some

Would/Do you like having brown eyes? maybe Do you spend a lot of time on the internet? too much Have you bought anyone a Christmas gift? not yet

What is one of your favorite compliments to recieve? compliments are awkward :x Do you compliment other random people? rarely What do you use Facebook for? texting mostly Do you love cartoons? some are nice Do you paint your own nails? I did

Describe your style in one word. comfy Describe your current personality in one or two words. complicated Are you afraid of child birth/pregnancy? it’s one of the reasons why I don’t want any kids What are you favorite bottoms to wear? leggings or pajama pants Do you like dresses? not really Do you eat cake with a spoon or a fork? tiny fork but spoon is fine as well What is your favorite sex position? ;) I'm not a fan of sex What color will you paint your nails next? black if any Are you afraid of ghosts/hauntings? kinda What is your favorite game to play with family/friends? board games and/or car racing games with dad What is your beer of choice? I don’t drink beer Do you like glitter? could say so Have you ever owned a Ouija board? hell no Do you like to text? it seems If you had to be an animal for Halloween, what would it be? bat, cat or wolf (eventually a raccoon but it’s not a Halloween related animal) Do you have more dry skin or oily skin? mixed

Name something that starts with the first letter of your first name. zoo Name something that starts with the first letter of your middle name? - And your lastname. chicken Would you spend 20 dollars on a candle? no way What is the goriest thing you’ve seen in real life? hmm... Twilight or Harry Potter? HP Would you rather be a vampire or a mermaid? vampire P.E or Math? Math or Science? dunno What do you do when someone is really rude to you in public? hard to tell Do you argue with your significant other a lot? we don’t argue  Have you ever had a really painful breakup? they were painful to me What do you like to write with? my hands lmfao Do you prefer to be pale or tan? Don’t say in between. pale What is your favorite thing about Christmas? decorations and gifts but also spending time with my parents Do you prefer white or black electronics? black A stranger comes up to you and gives you a big hug, what do you do? :o Do your eyes tear up when you’re nervous? might Apples or Bananas? apples Water or Milk? water Would you milk a cow given the chance? it’s weird Where do you shop for your underwear? I don’t have a fav place to do that

Do you feel more comfortable sleeping in your own bed or in a hotel bed? my own 

Do you prefer to travel by plane, car, or boat? car

Who is your favorite travel buddy? dad

What’s the best souvenir you have ever purchased? can’t choose

What’s your favorite book to read during a long ride? I don’t read while travelling

What’s the most entertaining story you have about getting lost? me and my father been talking so loud that someone on the street just stopped by and told us where the place we’re looking for is ^^”

What was the most expensive trip you have ever taken? ask my family

Which songs are on your travel playlist? whatever

Which travel blogs do you follow? none

Do you complain when you are bored, or look for something to do? I’m never bored so I don’t complain about it

Do other people’s complaints ever get on your nerves? some/depends

How did you develop your specific taste in music? can’t explain that 

If you drink coffee, how do you like it (with cream, black, etc)? I don’t drink coffee

Did your parents sign you up for things like piano lessons and ballet? no and now I’m a loser

What is your favorite children’s song? Kokoszeczka

Are you good at telling jokes? I am

Other than gas, what do you frequently purchase at a gas station? I don’t purchase anything there

Ten years ago, did you think that this was how the world would turn out? ...

Ever think you might be better off living in a different time period? yup

Do you walk regularly? not regularly but often

If you could have the answer to one question, what question would that be? personal

Do you like any bands from other countries? obvi, most of those I like aren’t from Poland, I don’t like polish music 

When was the last time you mailed a handwritten letter? years ago

Do you still receive Christmas cards? my mom does

Do you know anyone who is really hard to please? sadly

What gets you through the day? I wonder myself

If you found out your bf/gf was homosexual, how would you react? I know she is - elseway we wouldn’t date (ok, she could be bi, I know)

If you are homosexual, and you find out your bf/gf is straight, then what? we break up 

Have you ever sung karaoke? What songs? Was it fun? it was Ich troje song *embarassed*

Have you called anyone today? What did you talk about? not today

Do you drive around the neighborhood to look at lights around Xmas? I like to look but I don’t ride around just for that

Why are so many single people bitter on Valentine’s Day? because they’re lonely and because this day is fake 

What is one tradition you hate participating in? personal

Have you made a fool of yourself today? probably

When was the last time you did something for someone else? recently

Do you let other people choose the radio stations in your car? but I don’t have a car 

Would you say that you are an accepting and openminded person? am not

Have you ever been convinced to try something you didn’t want to do? I have been

When was the last time you cheated–at anything? last time I used motherlode in The sims 4 game?

When you are mad at someone, how do you show them? depends

When was the last time you felt you had a reality check? blergh

Have you ever felt out of touch with reality? dissociation, derealisation, depersonalisation etc.

Have you ever had a tooth pulled? not since I was a kid

How long do you you usually chew a stick of gum? didn’t check the timing

Was there any teacher that made life living hell for you? it wasn’t THAT bad but it wasn’t good 

How about any student(s)? I’ve been bullied if it’s what you’re asking me about - still could be much worse

When was the last time you felt overwhelmed? 24/7

Do you have any coffee mugs with funny pictures/sayings? Did I just rolled my eyes out loud 

Describe something strange that you own? where should I start...

Do you think graffiti is a valid form of artistic expression? I don’t approve of it when it vandalizes property

Are you afraid to walk places at night if you are alone? I’m a petite woman so...

What do you think of people who are shy? hard to keep contact with them

Have you ever gone through a time when you had no friends? How did you deal with it? not counting my family - last several years - I was ok with it as I’m a loner, homebody, introvert

What is something that shouldn’t bother you, but does anyway? fuck off!

Has any food ever made you sick to the point where you’d be afraid to try it again? that happened more than once already

Can you hear traffic right now? I don’t hear anything :3

Have you taken a painkiller today? no

Have you had a nap today? neither

Are you currently in a relationship? If so, do you think it will last? don’t feed my paranoia...

Do you have a hyphenate name or know anyone with one? (eg. Carter-Brown) my sister

Do you take your Christmas decorations down before or after New Years? after

Have you made a large purchase today? I didn’t buy anything today, it’s Sunday

Have you ever used a leaf blower? we don’t own one, we’re not rich

You see someone running around naked in the street. Your reaction? if it’s neighbor’s kid that’s no surprise

Has someone close to you died of murder? no one close to me but still a family member of some sort

Would you ever have sex with the last person you texted? done

Do you abbreviate when you text? that’s lazy of me, I know

Is anyone in the room on the phone right now? I’m playing a game

[youngbradford]

Xmas Message For 2019

And here we go, my 19th annual year-end love letter online …Georgi Balinov and I rang in the new year at a giant party in Bangkok, halfway around the world. That foreign location, its beauty and tastes, set the tone for my 2019, a year of seeing the world, while stabilizing my life. Though often in flux or movement, 2019 was a year many things normalized over the year.

In January, almost immediately after arriving stateside, I crossed the pond and saw Michelle Visage perform in the West End with Peter Wish. Afterward, I played with her wigs backstage and walked her towards the queer kids lining up for selfies and autographs. I am very lucky to have Peter and Michelle in my life, kindred spirits both. One reminding me that fame, fortune, ebb, and flow, but that being real is what matters most. The other, a reminder to stay forever young. I visited Berlin yet again and did the usual, working, and playing, hard.

February appeared and I traveled to Philadelphia with Sandra Hansel, Georgi, George Sapio, and Anthony DeFilippis. We toured Lisa Roberts’ house, saw a Dieter Rams exhibit, dined with George Alley. In Lambertville, that Sunday, I bought vinyl and vintage hats. Later that month, I got a swallow tattooed on my hand, a symbol of flight and travel, and Warhol’s knives, blackened into my shin. An Eames exhibit in Oakland was a sweet way to end the month.

In March with my crew, Georgi, Khadyon Reid, Luis Urribarri, Anthony, and George, descended upon Salvador for Carnival. It was insane! I watched Anitta live, and danced in a sea of pushing, fighting, kissing Brazilians for days upon days. I felt unsafe and alive, threatened and excited. It was intense. Back home I got my other hand tattooed, again honoring my love of seeing the world. I traveled to Portland, came back to NYC at the end of the month, finally moving into our apartment, the one we bought 1.5 years before, that I designed, and had renovated head to toe. Finally, we had our dream home. The weekend we moved in, the place was still not ready, but we were sick of living without our things and in other people’s beds. Peg Kendall and Georgi’s mom came, and we worked our asses off unpacking and starting to make the 2800 square foot loft on west 13th street a home. We’d lived in Airbnbs and friends’ places for 19 months and it was tiring not having a home, not having most of our things. My art! My toys! My shoes!. Those months taught me how important a home, a safe place, and the oasis of my collections is to my mental health. From March on I felt more on solid ground and dedicated more energy to my career and friendships as a result.

In April we went to Coachella, seeing Ian and Jose Seronni, JJ and Andrey Lunin, and dancing in the desert of California. Multiple trips to San Francisco, catching glimpse of old friends, scaling my team at work, as I took on more and more responsibility.

In May, George Sapio and I celebrated (me a little early) a shared, fun birthday weekend at Soho Farmhouse. Joined by Matthew Kelleher, Mark Silver, Jaime Tanner, Matt Lynch, and others, we went shooting and feasted on pheasant in the English countryside.June was really busy, insanely so. 

For my 43rd in early June, I had a 30-person dinner party in our new place! We ended up at Club Cumming after, but before friends, new, and old, showered me with a vinyl record, the admission fee I’d set for my party. Lauren Foster, who has shared her home with us, was, appropriately, our first overnight guest. London, again, Berlin, too. Then home for Pride. Willam Ralphie hosted Bingo at eBay, Zach Augustine, David Mason Chlopecki, other loves attended. That weekend danced to both Madonna and Grace Jones on the pier and danced with 15K others at Javitz, where my favorite singer, Cyndi Lauper, belted “I Drove All Night,” her best song, at midnight. I stayed until the sun came up. NYC was electric that weekend. Parties, icons, friends from the world over … the city has an energy you could literally see and taste. I caught a few moments of the parade, overtaking lower Manhattan, and I smiled really big. God, it can feel good being gay! God, the world has improved for gay people (and yes, I know, we still have ways to go, especially for more marginalized LGBTQ groups). But I still took a moment to acknowledge the things that are better, that I have seen in my very gay lifetime. NYC that weekend was the ultimate place to reflect.

July 4th I went to Hamptons, with Ricardo, Brian, Felipe L. Mollica, others, guests of Anthony. Hosted Fab.com reunion, walked the Brooklyn Bridge, and took my team to Korea (where I shared a traditional Korean meal with Jae Hah), China (where I ate bird’s nests, jellyfish, sea snails, saw a Yves Klein show with Adnan Abbasi, and danced to 90s pop in a packed gay club), and Moscow (where I was amazed at how clean the city was and where I went to a traditional sauna and was whipped, naked, with tree leaves in front of dozens of Russian dudes in the nude). While in Russia a protest erupted, literally below the rooftop bar I dined in. Russia seemed freer than I’d expected, way more Western, up until this moment. I ended the weekend at a club at 3 AM, Russian women in high, high heels, dancing on the bar, vodka flowing like water. 2020 saw me traveling to places I romanticized as a child. Russia, one such place. I thoroughly enjoyed the friendships formed in Moscow, the food, and history. I want to return.

August, I was back in San Jose and Portland for work, then off again to Europe for vacation. We started our trip in Croatia, where Georgi and I kayaked around Dbruvnik’s harbor. Croatia’s cliffs and turquoise water did not disappoint, as we boated to islands and swam in caves. Driving south into Montenegro, the architecture reminded me more of Polish, Bulgarian trips, the water, greener. At the Amman we laid out next to The Beckhams, watching David kick a soccer ball with workers of the hotel, and watching Victoria read a book. Georgi and I then ventured to Mykonos, sunning til sunset and dancing til sunrise. A weekend trip upstate with our besties (including a guest appearance by Eric Lee, riding rides at the Colombia County fair, cooking pies, and grilling meats, ended our summer.

In September I went to Berlin and did Folsom and a speaking gig in front of 1K eBay sellers. I went again to Tel Aviv, meeting gay Israeli technology workers and a bevy fo Israeli start-ups. In Jerusalem, I returned to the wonderful Machneyuda with Gilad Ayalon, where they remembered me from my birthday the year before.

October saw us hosting my mother and my niece for a visit. We fell in love with Company XVI, a dance/burlesque/performance art troupe in Brooklyn. I took my mother to see Madonna, a night I will cherish forever. And we saw Dear Evan Hanson. A weekend in Miami with Lauren Foster and K was needed warmth. I took Georgi to see both acts of The Inheritance (so good!).  Then off to Berlin, again, and Paris, where I looked at art and went shopping for fall clothes. Halloween, in NYC, was brilliant and over the top; I went as white Pierrot clown. In Brooklyn, to Honey Dijon, we danced all night. Ralph Rucci, the American couturier reposted our photo on Instagram, calling it high-fashion, however, it was Georgi who won the night as Spock.

November I was in NYC early on, shopping with Thomas Cawson (who hooked me up with pink denim Helmut Lang), eating Christmas cookies, and being interviewed by Buzzfeed, a segment on 90s toys. I imitated a Furby. Then a week in Portland (I glow-in-the-dark-miniature-golfed), and off to Helsinki, catching up with former friends from Fab, One Nordic, Hem. Then to Lapland, with Georgi, George, and Anthony, lapping up wine, winter wonderlands, and dining on reindeer and elk. Dog sledding, snowmobiling, Northen lights! Another childhood desire checked from the list. Dinner with Michelle Case in London closed the month.

In December I went back to Berlin (my second home) and hosted a fundraiser for Single Step in our home. In one night Georgi and I helped raise $50K to help build Bulgaria’s first LGBTI center. It was also an impromptu holiday party: so many old friends together again in one room. And now Georgi and I sit in an airport lounge, awaiting our flight to Baltra, in the Galapagos. Once we land, we’ll board a 7-day cruise on a mega-yacht/small cruise ship. This, I feel, I have been waiting my entire life for.

I often write about how I was lonely as a kid. I was gay, I had a drug-addicted father, I grew up very poor. I oftentimes say music saved my life. But, I don’t write enough about the joy animals gave me too. I had so many pets: newts, turtles, tortoises, tree frogs, geckos, crabs, salamanders, etc. Caring for them, feeding them, gave me peace and allowed me to love. One turtle I had had a cracked shell. He lived in my room for many, many years. I always preferred him, with his defects, to the others. I think I feel the same about people.

As a child, I became obsessed with the Galapagos Islands, and mostly the tortoises. I would read about them in encyclopedias and race to see them at zoos. I always felt connected to turtles. They were my spirit animal. Later in life, I’d bloom, my feathers growing, my pride, alive. I’d no longer consider myself a turtle, my spirit animal changed. I told this story to my colleague Eben Sermon, who runs eBay’s German business: I always wanted to be a turtle. But I ended up a cockatoo. Eben brought this up last week in Berlin and it made me think a bit more about affinities for animals and how I have not had that connection as often as I probably should.

So this week, before we ring in New Years in Rio, I will honor the old me, the kid, the quieter Bradford, the sadder Bradford, by visiting those turtles, finally.

And I’ll marvel at the wonder of nature and evolution, both the evolution of animals and this world, and also the very real and dramatic evolution of my spirit and happiness.

Happy Holidays, Peace & Big Love

[kneewall49]

Another Sad Month

12 January, 2020

Our new neighbour Frank didn’t make it after a fall in his house.  Frank hang on in hospital for a week but passed away, not recovering from the head injuries from the fall.

We attended the funeral, which was Motoko’s first Western funeral, and I spoke on behalf of the two of us, as the two newest friends Frank had.  It actually was a very upbeat funeral and about 10 people spoke of their experiences with Frank, all on the light hearted side, as he was a character.  As he would have liked, there was much laughter about his life and adventures, and his ‘can do’ nature about almost anything. He reminded me of my dad in so many ways, always happy, nothing insurmountable, no challenge untried.

Of the funeral was a bit of a shock to Motoko, who is use to a very solemn and dark event, as is the case with funeral’s in Japan.

Motoko offered to make the casket arrangement using flowers from Franks’ garden, and pride and joy.  Everyone was suitably impressed, even the funeral director said they were stunning.

Frank’s passing was a great blow to us as we were extremely pleased to be living next to a gentleman with so much knowledge and experience and tools for nearly all things, for mechanical and construction tasks. We’d already recognised it was well worth getting Frank’s advice on any tool of task before making a decision.  We now have lost that valuable friend and resource. RIP Frank.

Now what else have we been up to?

It has been very hot, over 30 most days and very dry; can't remember when it last rained?  We have reached a point with the excavation where we may be exceeding the allowable changes you can make to your land without council permission, thus we reverted too the following activities:

We did have a holiday at Robert and Gail’s place at Eumundi to house sit their loverly house while they spent Xmas and NY in Sydney.

Nice to have a big shower space, a non port-a-loo style toilet, and a pool of course. We watched Netflix and could wash the cars on concrete, not dirt.

We started to clear the street frontage garden which was very overgrown with competing plants and trees.

We had Cherly come around and point the ‘finger of death’ at those trees/plants needing to go.  This activity was a bit drawn out as the weather has been constantly sunny and hot, and very dry making it a hot dusty task.  We have managed to clear about 3/4 of the frontage and meet some other neighbours during the task.

Below: Left, the front gate area gets a tidy up, and still requiring some planting after drought breaks. Right, a cleaner front garden screen, despite the crappy photo of our work. Bottom, and got the ute stuck in newly bulldozed soil, but managed to get the tractor and Motoko to pull it out.

I used the BX to help dig out a couple of stumps for the neighbour opposite who in turn gave us a nice bottle fo wine and Motoko’s favourite beer.

And the big news of the month! We submitted the build plans to the Certifier for BA approval, after receiving the Engineer’s plans for slab and roof steel specs just before Xmas.

Other news or rather decisions we made: We’ll now start the build with the Living/Garage, not the guest room.

After a discussion with Mr. Wentzel, he advise starting with the biggest building, as leaving the most expensive room to last may mean a bigger increase in cost if delayed until a minor buildings were completed. 

This had the following impact.  

One: it meant taking down the two shade shelters as theses stood inside the new building’s footprint and would be in the way. 

Two: we had to move the stockpile of materials we been collecting to another area outside the footprint.  

Three: means doing the biggest building first will require use of professionals earlier than expected, or rather when I have somewhat less experience than I may have.  

Anyway I do agree with John’s advice and we have moved those former   incursions, restarted levelling the middle area, and using the guest room footprint as a new store area.

Photos below: Left, no more shade for the cars. Middle: the building pad, plus the 10m terrace area looks pretty big! Right: the erosion fence gets a test after the rain.

We expect to get the go ahead by months end!

[let-it-raines]

Love your prompts! If it's still open - CS and baby's first xmas?

I’ve gotten quite a few of these, so if you’ve sent me one, I hope this is okay as the answer, even if it’s not your original ask. Canon is not my cup of tea, but I try and take a few liberties. Also, holy holiday fics, you guys :D

There’s a large tree in their living room, green branches smelling of pine and lit up by multi-colored lights with colorful baubles hanging on the branches. At the top rests a star and at the bottom rests boxes wrapped in colorful paper like the baubles all tied up with ribbons. Above the fireplace there are four red and white stockings, each one respectively inscribed with the names Killian, Emma, Henry, and Hope, and on the front door there’s a wreath, fake red cranberries sticking out of the vibrant greenery. At night, and only at night, there are white lights lit up that are strung across the rooftop, something that caused him a hell of a lot of annoyances and pains until he said screw it and asked Emma to flick her fingers and string the lights so that he wasn’t climbing atop their pointed roof while white snow covered the black shingles.

His entire home looks like festivity vomited on it – a phrase Emma has assured him does not match up with the Christmas holiday – and while a part of him can’t help but think that they’re going to have to take this all down, he mostly thinks that it’s as magical as his family is.

And he means that literally.

His family is actual magic, the kind written about in storybooks and spell books and projected across the television screen in fantasy, but to him, it’s all real.

He didn’t celebrate Christmas in the Enchanted Forest – he definitely didn’t celebrate in Neverland – but there were similar holidays. The firelight festival was held in the winters in certain kingdoms. Candles would be lit to imitate Christmas lights, though no one knew that at the time, and they’d line the streets while people stood outside and sang songs and traded goods and food while drinking ale. It was bloody wonderful the few times he got to celebrate, but he spent most of his winters out at sea, whether he wanted to or not.

But then he came to Storybrooke and met a woman – though he didn’t exactly meet Emma here – and everything changed.

There was no time for holidays his first few years here, not that he would have been invited anyways, but in the last few years, things have calmed and everyone has been allowed to celebrate whichever holiday they please.

What Emma pleases is Christmas.

And he’d do anything to make Emma happy, including stringing lights on the roof of their house and ordering a Santa Suit online so he could play Santa for all of the children in town when no one else would do it. He looks absolutely nothing like whoever Santa Claus is – though he thinks that may be one character who isn’t real – and he’s not sure any of the kids believed it, especially when Alexandra asked why he sounded like Killian.

Last year, Emma had been six months pregnant during December, and she was ready to get a move on things. He can’t begin to count the amount of times he caught her muttering about speeding along the pregnancy, wanting to fit into her jeans again, not having to pee in the middle of the night, and finally, getting to meet their daughter. It was an adventure like all of their other ones, and his quests to the market in the middle of the night to buy her chocolate ice cream only to have to return with pickles instead were a quest if he ever went on one.

But it was always worth it. He’d come home with the goods she wanted, and sometimes she’d eat them, other times she wouldn’t, but it always ending up with them in bed watching late-night television. He thought he knew Emma before, thought there was very little left of her book to be read – though he’d never tire or rereading it and discovering new passages he might have missed the first time – but then during those nights, he’d learn more about his wife than he ever thought possible.

She took to resting against his side, her body pressed against his from shoulder to toes, while his arm wrapped around her waist and either played with the loose strings of her hair or found itself resting on her ever-growing belly. Hope was quite the kicker, always moving around, and they both found comfort in feeling her move. During those late nights, especially around Christmas time, Emma would share a little more insight into how she felt growing up alone, all of the hopes and dreams she had about what Christmas could one day be like. He understood it all, childhood memories of wanting and wishing for more and for different in the back of his mind.

They weren’t in the past anymore. They were in the here in now with a bright future ahead of them, a happy beginning really.

So the things they talked about weren’t always melancholy. Emma would teach him more about the music she likes, varying between Motown and Rock of the past and the Pop music of today. He quite liked the classical, the ones without words, but Emma only liked those for background noise. So they’d take to talking about music or movies or television shows, which always lead to real life stories that gave him peeks into his wife’s mind.

Then, without fail, he’d be weaving her an intricate tale only for him to look down and hear soft snores against his chest.

He’d smile before leaning down and kissing her forehead and her stomach, wishing his loves a good night’s rest while he watched over them both.

But this year Emma is not pregnant, and they have a lively little bundle of energy bouncing around the house. Well, actually, she’s crawling and can prop herself up to stand with a few steps that get a little longer every day. From all the books he’s read, and it was a lot, she’s progressing just fine, if not the slightest bit advanced…or maybe that’s just his thinking. He’s biased, but his daughter is bloody brilliant and has been since the day she was born.

Gods, that was a beautiful moment.

Bloody and loud and uncomfortable, but beautiful.

He hears Emma’s footsteps pad down the staircase. From the way she’s walking, she’s avoiding the creaks, but he knows that she’s still going to hit the one on the left five steps from the bottom. Right on cue, the stair moans and Emma groans before continuing on and coming to stand in front of him. She’s got on naught a thing but one of his old pirate shirts, something she’s taken to sleeping in because the necks allow easy access for breast feeding, and her long thin legs are on full display to his gaze, expanses of creamy skin right before him.

“Killian,” she whispers despite no one else being around, “what are you still doing downstairs?”

He hums before splaying his knees apart and tugging on her (his) shirt before she stumbles forward into the open space, her hands falling against his shoulders and the shirt dipping open in front of him. “Well, I’m playing Santa, and I hear there’s a song out there about mommy kissing Santa Claus.”

Her face scrunches up, and even though he knew it was a joke in bad form, he still had to say it.

“That’s not your best flirting, Mr. Jones.”

“Aye, I know. But I was still kind of hoping you’d kiss me.”

Her legs bend before she settles down onto his lap and her arms wrap around his neck. She’s warm, always so warm except for her damn feet, and he closes his eyes the moment her lips slant over his and his arms begin rubbing up and down her back, tugging her as close as he can get her.

“Merry Christmas, darling,” he whispers when they pull back from each other.

She reaches to the side and pulls his left arm up, placing a kiss against his stump and holding it against her chest while her other hand caresses his stubble. “Merry Christmas, babe. Do you want to come to bed now? The Grinch isn’t going to come and steal our Christmas tree. I think you might be safe.”

He chuckles before leaning into her palm. “I don’t know. Weird things happen here, and I think Hope may lose it if there’s no tree or presents in the morning.”

“She’s not even ten months old. She doesn’t understand the concept of Christmas.”

“But she understands the concept of shiny things and new toys. And we understand the concept of Christmas. Wasn’t it you who said this is more for us than for her?”

“Hmm, I don’t recall.”

“Liar.”

Emma gasps, even if it’s exaggerated, and he rolls his eyes. “How dare you call the mother of your children a thief. And at Christmas time no less. You scoundrel.”

“Dashing rapscallion.”

“Yeah, whatever.” She tugs at his t-shirt collar before leaning down and kissing him again, her lips barely brushing over his. “Let’s go to bed, dashing rapscallion. The real Santa won’t come if we’re down here, and I may have a nice little red surprise waiting for you upstairs.”

He quirks his eyebrow while his body begins to tingle and Emma rises from her perch on his lap.

“Really now?”

“You’ll have to come if you want to find out.”

She begins to walk away and he leans forward to playfully smack her ass, which only makes her sway her hips in a more obvious fashion. Yeah, he loves her a hell of a lot.

“That’s the plan.”

He wakes the next morning to Emma splayed across the entire bed, her head resting over his stomach, and to the sounds od Hope’s babbling through the static of the baby monitor. In the video screen, she’s just sitting up in her crib, but she likely needs to be fed and changed, so he slides out of bed, pulls his pajama pants back up, and wanders down the hall to her nursery. He’s got no clue what time it is, but Henry hasn’t woken to go downstairs to open presents yet, and if it’s anything like last year, he won’t be up anytime soon.

“Hi, little love,” he greets the moment he walks into the room, and Hope’s blue eyes find him almost immediately before she screeches. She’s adorable but holy hell can she make some noises. “Okay, okay,” he soothes, stepping forward and scooping her up so that she’s squirming in his arms, “daddy is just going to change your diaper and get you dressed in the pajamas we bought for mommy, okay? Because it’s Christmas, bug. Yeah, Merry Christmas, Hope.”

Hope doesn’t talk back because, well, of course she doesn’t, but he likes talking to his daughter anyways. One day she’ll be able to speak and she’ll very well talk to him like Henry sometimes talks to him, angry and dismissive and pissed that he said no to staying out until three in the morning. But right now, wishing he’d thought to put his brace on to help hold her down, she babbles as he changes her, and he’s content to listen to her little noises. He quite loves her little sounds, and as much as he loves watching her grow and watching the milestones, he kind of wants it to all just…stop.

He doesn’t want her to grow up. He wants to be able to hold her in his arms forever and listen to her squeals and dress her in pajamas with a tail on her bottom likes she’s a human reindeer.

Ten years ago, if he’d had a thought like that, he would have assumed he was delusional and dying, but it’s not ten years ago. It’s here and now, and while he’ll gladly challenge anyone who dare hurts his family, he’ll also gladly be gushy and sentimental for his family. He wasn’t sentimental, or at least he claimed not to be, for so long, and now his treasure chest isn’t simply a box of things. It’s a home of memories.

Once Hope is changed and dressed, her blonde curls pinned back with a bow, he walks her down to he and Emma’s bedroom, quietly sneaking in and getting back under the covers while Emma slumbers away…until Hope squeals again and gets her chubby hands on Emma’s face.

“Hi, baby,” Emma sighs, her eyes almost instantly transforming from terrified to affectionate. She moves the comforter, the blankets rustling, making sure that it’s still covering her bare chest until her hands are free and she’s sitting up against the headboard. “Did daddy come take care of you while I was sleeping? Yeah? That’s because I put him in a good mood last night.”

“Swan,” he chastises, though no part of him means it.

“She’s a baby, Killian. She doesn’t know what sex is. It’s not like having Henry in the room. We can’t traumatize her like that yet.”

“I know.” He leans over and kisses his wife’s head before pressing a kiss against Hope. “When should we wake Henry up? I know he’s sixteen, but the lad sleeps like a rock.”

Emma hums beside him, still rocking Hope on her lap while their daughter continues to touch all of Emma’s face. “Let me enjoy some cuddles with this little reindeer, nice choice by the way, before we go wake him up. We’ve got to get our stuff done before we head over to mom and dad’s.”

They end up waking Henry around seven, and for someone who has not been a fan of waking up before noon on his break from school, he shoots out of his bed pretty quickly, ambling down the hallway with a determination in his eyes that must be some kind of Christmas thing. He practically bounds down the stairs until Emma stops him, handing over Hope and claiming that she needs pictures of the two of them coming downstairs to see what Santa brought. Henry grumbles a bit before Hope slobbers over his face, and then he smiles down at his sister and talks to her, telling her all about Santa and Christmas while trying to get her to pose for the camera. It’s a disaster, but he’s sure that he and Emma will treasure the pictures and memories regardless.

Henry rips through his presents almost instantly, his face lighting up with excitement over the new laptop they bought him for his writing. Of course, he knows that the lad will likely use it to watch Netflix, but maybe some actual writing and work will be done.

“Thank you, guys,” Henry gushes, getting up and hugging Emma’s neck before he moves to come hug his.

“You’re welcome, my boy,” Killian whispers into Henry’s ear while patting his back. “I think there are some other things under the tree for you, too.”

“I know, but I already know what all of those are.”

“Kid,” Emma chuckles, wrangling Hope in her lap, “what the hell? Did you sneak peeks?”

“No, but you ordered them on Amazon, and it’s hooked up to my email.”

Emma’s mouth gapes open while Henry smirks, and Killian throws his hands up in the air. “See, darling, modern technology is bloody wonderful, but if we’d gone to the store, none of this would have ever happened.”

She huffs in response before looking down at Hope. “Your daddy and your brother are ruining Christmas, and you’re just happy to be playing with the wrapping paper. They should be more like you.”

“She’s a baby, mom.”

“Yeah, well, you’re my baby, too.”

“Mom,” Henry whines, but he smiles anyhow.

The rest of their morning is a blur of red and green wrapping paper being tossed around and thrown away, toys and books and clothes scattered all across the living room. It looks like a tornado has blown through, but for one day, he won’t bother to clean up right away. He’s just going to enjoy this time with his family.

They get Hope several sets of new clothes, none of which she cares about, and several new toys, all of which she cares about for ten minutes before moving on. Meanwhile Henry is sitting in the recliner messing with his computer, mumbling under his breath as it chimes in his lap. Emma opens her gifts, a myriad of clothes and books as well as some Granny’s gift cards. They’re not a thing, but he convinced the Widow Lucas to make them a thing for Emma. But then she opens a small box filled with a diamond necklace, and her eyes light up.

“Killian, we weren’t supposed to do any nice gifts like this.”

“Aye,” he scratches the back of his head and smiles down at her, “I know. I just saw it and thought you’d like it. And that maybe one day you’d go back to wearing necklaces again.’

“Will you,” she begins, scooting over on the couch so that her thighs press against his, “will you put it on? Hope will probably yank it off, but at least for this moment.”

She hands him the silver chain before sweeping her hair over her neck, the thick blonde strands all falling to one side. It takes some maneuvering, but it’s nothing he’s not capable of, and he gets the chain to clasp behind her neck, pressing a soft kiss just below where it rests.

“Beautiful,” he sighs, and Emma smiles. They both know he’s not talking about the necklace.

Though it is a damn beautiful necklace. He has become quite adept at gift giving if he says so himself.

He eventually gets around to opening his own gifts, some sea charts from Henry. He says they’re vintage, which is Henry’s way of saying they’re old, and Killian sometimes wonders if that’s how Henry describes him to his friends…as vintage. Emma’s bought him some new clothes, some of them too bloody bright for his liking, as well as a telescope and new vacuum. Henry practically falls out of his chair laughing at him being excited over a new vacuum, and that’s when he promptly tells Henry that the lad can use it to clean all of this up tonight.

And then maybe he’ll use Henry’s new laptop to “Netflix and chill” with Emma.

Both Emma and Henry gasp, but he chuckles along with Hope. She has no idea what’s going on, but her little baby laugh makes the entire room melt and forget that he just scandalized both mother and son.

Possibly.

Henry may remember that forever.

After all is said and done, it’s a wonderful Christmas morning with just the four of them in their home before they’re all on their way to different houses and celebrations with the complex, wonderful family to which they belong.

“So,” Emma asks, coming to stand next to him and wrapping an arm around his waist while Hope is snuggly perched on her opposite hip, “was operation baby’s first Christmas a success?”

He leans down to kiss her hairline, lingering a tad bit too long and letting the scent of her shampoo and flowery perfume invade his senses. “It was perfect.”

[rebellingstagnationblog]

Xmas Time of the Year - Green Day

@aj-the-bluejay requested the song and @pharaoh-ink asked for a Mallard family Christmas with a younger Negaduck with Stellar and the two requests married perfectly.

This chapter does contain some abuse. Please tread carefully, take care of yourself, and feel free to skip this chapter if you need to.

This takes place when Negaduck was in his early teens.

“And you, Drake?”

He glanced up from his desk with a dark scowl.

“Me what?” he snapped.

Mrs. O’Toole pursed her lips and said, “What are you going to do over your Christmas break?”

Try and forget it.

He shrugged and returned his attention to the brown crayon in his lap, nails digging in to shave more of the soft edges away. “Dunno.”

“Surely you have some traditions you and your family do every year.”

He snapped the crayon in half and glanced back up at her. Tossing the broken pieces onto the ground, he wiped his hands on his sweatshirt and shrugged again. “We looked at lights when I was a kid, but we don’t do much now. My dad’s pretty busy.”

Mrs. O’Toole nodded. “I’m sure Mayor Mallard has a lot do do over the holidays.”

Drakey slumped back in his chair with a noncommittal nod. When her attention was directed at another student, Drakey dug out a new crayon from the box stashed in his desk and peeled away the paper before digging his nails into the soft wax once more.

When the bell rang only a few minutes later, Drakey stuffed his remaining crayons into his sweatshirt pocket and tossed his backpack over his shoulder, stomping the brown crayon to dust as he left the room.

He’d be able to melt the rest of them down tonight. Watching the sharp points he’d carved melt to nothing would be satisfying. Maybe he could mold the melted wax into something else.

“Merry Christmas, Drake,” said Mrs. O’Toole as he walked by.

“Yeah, whatever,” he muttered, heading out into the hall.

The halls were in pandemonium, happy cheers drowned out by the banging of lockers as everyone dropped off their books and headed out the doors. Drakey was shoved against the wall a few times, his bullies sneering at him as they lumbered past, but he didn’t bother with retribution. Not today. Let them have their pathetic Christmas holiday. He’d get them back once they returned to school. There was nothing to look forward to but the relief of spring, and Drakey would use the long bleak winter months to his full advantage.

Stopping by his locker, he dumped all his books inside and grabbed his stash of lighters, cramming them into his backpack. Slamming the door shut, he headed down to the art room where he snatched a bigger box of crayons before using the side door to exit the building.

He cut across the empty playground, ignoring the happy cries of kids as they saw their parents. Everyone was congregated around the front of the school for one last gift exchange or a teary goodbye as they wished one another a merry Christmas before being bundled into their parents’ cars and heading home. Or out of town. Or wherever they were going for this godforsaken holiday season.

Drakey pulled the hood of his sweatshirt up over his head and stuffed his hands into the front pocket, trudging towards downtown.

Stellar wasn’t waiting to pick him up. He hadn’t picked Drakey up from school since Ana had died years ago. Sure, sometimes there was a car waiting for him, driven by some poor city employee who’d screwed up enough to be made a kid’s chauffeur. But there was only ever a car if there was an important event Drakey needed to attend after school. Or if his grandfather was picking him up for the weekend.

Today didn’t fall into any of those categories, so Drakey had to rely on himself to get home. Which he preferred.

The streets were swarming with people, children squealing at store windows, women shopping and marveling at the deals they were getting, men in suits pushing past everyone else, eyes staring straight ahead in determination. With the sun starting to set, the city lights had already started to flicker on for the night, citizens and visitors alike marveling at the decorations as they sparked to life. Each of the four streets that led to Town Square were decorated the same as they always were, all leading to the massive tree sitting in the middle of the city.

A group of kids skipped out of a candy store, hands filled with sweets and giggling incessantly. A couple, clearly tourists, had a map of the city open and were peering up and down the street, pointing in different directions and arguing. A mother bundled her children more securely against the biting wind, saying they’d get hot chocolate before looking at the lights. Drakey sneered at each group in turn, maneuvering around them all with increasing annoyance.

It was too much. The bright lights. The rich colors. The smothering smells. The incessant caroling. The forced cheer. The false promises.

Drakey hated it. All it was was a distraction from life. And not even a good one. Because time still soldiered on with the same disappointments and broken expectations, never mind that it was Christmas and everything was supposed to be magical.

Glancing up at all the decorations illuminating the night, Drakey had an overwhelming desire to tear it all down. Considering his collection of lighters in his backpack, he wondered how fast everything would catch fire. The pine garland, wreaths, and trees had to be dried out by now, having been on display for so long. They’d not only quickly go up in a blaze of glory, but would carry the flames all the way through the city. Now that would be an impressive Christmas.

Ducking down a side street, Drakey breathed easier as the decorations decreased. They weren’t gone. There were still sprigs of holly and nests of lights — the amount of lights this holiday brought on was just obnoxious — but it wasn’t nearly as overwhelming.

He used the less crowded side streets and abandoned alleyways to navigate the rest of his way home, able to avoid the relentless decorations.

Walking up to his house, Drakey smiled. There was no car parked in the driveway and there were no lights on inside. Stellar was probably out at a dinner or some holiday function, schmoozing the wealthy or more money and swindling everyone present into giving up something far more precious: their trust. Drakey could have a quiet night alone, which was the greatest gift of all.

He swung off his backpack and quickly located his keys, unlocking the front door and stepping in out of the frigid winter air and into the pungent stench of alcohol. Dropping his backpack onto the ground, he flicked the hall light on.

And ducked down when a bottle of half-filled whiskey came careening at his head. His reflexes managed to save him and it shattered harmlessly against the doorframe, the liquid spilling down and staining the baseboards.

Drakey glanced towards the living room and saw, to his dismay, the swaying silhouette of Stellar unfolding itself from the couch. “Why’re you making so much damn noise?” Stellar demanded.

Was it too late for Drakey to leave? Disappear into the night and pretend he’d never even come home? Claim that Stellar had imagined the whole thing when he was confronted later? He grabbed his backpack and reached behind to grasp the door handle, slowly twisting it.

Stellar stumbled out into the front hall, squinting in the light and dashing Drakey’s hopes of a quick getaway. “You have a death wish, boy? Shut off the light.”

Drakey wisely kept his beak shut and stared up at his father with a carefully blank expression. But he kept the light on. Stellar was a bad enough enemy to face off in the light of day; the darkness only increased his hostility since he was no longer afraid of being seen.

Stellar raised his arm up, another whiskey bottle in hand, and smashed it against the wall next to Drakey’s head.

The boy didn’t flinch. Not even when Stellar shoved him against the door and pressed a shard of glass to his throat.

“Turn off the light,” Stellar purred, a shiver racing down Drakey’s spine at the soft tone. He reached back and floundered for the light switch. Feeling the bite of glass press against the soft flesh of his throat, he tried to swallow his fear and finally managed to locate the switch, flipping it off.

Stellar didn’t let up, but instead pressed his advantage, gripping Drakey’s shoulder hard and shoving him down. Drakey winced as he was forced to sit on the broken bottle shards, but didn’t say anything as Stellar crouched down in front of him, the piece of glass once again pressed against Drakey’s throat.

“You disobey me again,” Stellar breathed, the stink of whiskey on his breath, “and you’ll get more than a few scrapes. I have business deals during this holiday break of yours and if you so much as breathe in my direction, I swear to God I’ll throw something heftier than a bottle at your head, and next time, I won’t miss.” Stellar glared at Drakey, his grey eyes glittering in the filtered beam of light from the streetlamp outside. “You understand me?”

Drakey nodded and winced when the shard of glass pressed into his neck, the sting telling him it had broken skin.

Stellar stared at Drakey for a few silent moments, pushing the glass farther into Drakey’s neck before finally relenting and yanking it out. “Maybe you have some brains after all, Drakey,” he sneered at the nickname and Drakey flinched.

That was what his mother had called him. Stellar liked to use it to remind Drakey of what he’d lost. To mock Drakey’s memory of her. To take away the one thing that had been exclusively hers and twist it, make it something that triggered fear rather than security in his mind.

He wished there was a different name he could go by. Something completely separate from Ana or Stellar that wouldn’t evoke these painful memories every time someone called for him.

“Stay out of my sight,” Stellar said, shoving Drakey into the wall before standing. He shuffled down the hall to his bedroom, tossing the shard of glass to the floor on his way.

Drakey remained where he was for a few more moments, waiting for some indication that Stellar wasn’t coming back before moving. He was rewarded a few moments later by soft snores coming from the master bedroom.

As quietly as he could, Drakey hoisted himself up onto his feet, biting back a whimper as glass shards buried themselves further into his skin. Hoisting his backpack up, he went straight to the bathroom where he turned on the shower and locked the door.

Using tweezers and the mirror, Drakey dug out all the pieces of glass that had cut into his skin. A warm shower followed before he bandaged up the worst of the cuts then slunk down to his room.

With his bedroom door closed, he shoved his desk in front of it. There was no way it would stop Stellar if he really wanted to get in, but it might slow him down enough for Drakey to escape through the window.

Changing into clean clothes, Drakey eased himself onto his bed, slowly maneuvering into the most comfortable position he could find that aggravated his injuries the least. Sprawled on his stomach, Drakey fisted a pillow and shoved it under his head, staring off at a far wall.

Mrs. O’Toole’s question surfaced from earlier that day. “What are you going to do over your Christmas break?”

This.

This was what he was going to do for Christmas break. Barricade himself in his room and hope to God his father never found him when he was in one of his moods.

That wasn’t an answer your teacher wanted to hear, though. They wanted to know about presents and decorations and excursions to see the downtown area all lit up for the holidays.

But Drakey had done all of that before.

And look where loving Christmas had gotten Mama.

[beesnoelles-blog]

LOG#4 12/24/18

buenos noches! Merry Christmas Eve! It is already 1.20am here in Buenos Aires. Last night I fell asleep super late because of jet lag, it was close to 5am when I knocked out. Anyways, today was pretty calm, nothing too energy consuming. Our tour was going to pick us up by 9am, so we woke up around 7.30am to eat breakfast in the hotel restaurant. It was buffet style and there was only one couple in the dining room when we arrived. I immediately aim for the pastries/carbs area and take about 3-4 different items and one banana. Then I remembered, I promised myself before the trip that I would watch what I ate because usually I never do. Anyways, I got this sort of sweet spread, called Dulce de Leche. It had a really caramel look to it, but didn't exactly taste like caramel. It was really good!! I had this croissant that was glazed PERFECTLY and put the spread all over, experience of a lifetime. Next we went back to the room to finish getting ready and waited in the lobby for the tour to pick us up. We toured around a place called Palermo, close to the downtown area of Buenos Aires. We first stopped by the public university of Buenos Aires, many people come to study here. There is a park next to the building and it has a sculpture of a large metallic silver flower and at night it lights up. It was a gift from a previous student, who is now an architect.

There was a monument of a politician who is very famous in Argentina. Eva Peron is her name, she fought for women's right and cool fact here, Argentina was the first country in South America to grant women a right to vote.

Real quick, I would like to apologize if my writing is bad from here on and I don't transition smoothly, it is really late and I would like to sleep, but I have to do this. Also, not that my writing is great anyways, it just sounds like I am talking naturally.

They have a kosher McDonalds here because their Jewish population is rather large. On the Av. 9 de Julio there is the Teatro Colon, which is the Colon Theater. It very famous and apparently, one of the largest opera houses in the world. If I heard correctly, it can hold up to 50,000 people?

Going further up the Avenue, the famous Obelisk of BA. Often times there are many policemen surrounding the area because it is the perfect place for demonstrations and has been used for such purposes in the past.

A little past that, towards the left is a plaza where the Pink House is located. The Pink House, I believe is the President's office and straight across from it is a white building where Argentina's first government was established in the past, I have not researched any of this so I have no clue, do not depend on me for facts.

Lastly, there was a neighborhood we stopped by called La Boca. Many tourists came here and walked through the streets. It is super colorful and full of art, other wares or tango dancers trying to convince you to take a picture with them. When you go further down one street it leads you to the river and the sidewalks next to it are painted all different colors, which I thought was rather cute. We passed by El Vigo Almacen, which was the 1st place of Tango back in the 70's.

The tour ended and we were dropped off by another area close to the same river. We had lunch at a place called Puerto Cristal, I think...they had great service and good combo-sort of meal, where you choose one entradas, one principales, and one ostres. That deal came with a choice of either Champagne or Wine, since today was the Eve of Christmas. After we tried to walk to the Galleria in Bueno Aires, but we were still jet lagged and the food had made us even more drowsy, so we decided to go back to the hotel to nap. While we were in the Taxi I was falling asleep HARD, my mouth would be a bit open, luckily I wouldn't snore though, I don't do that. We arrived and stayed in for the rest of the night and had leftovers for dinner. OKAY! Now it is time to sleep because tomorrow we are catching a plane to some place near Patagonia and this is where the real trekking shall begin, well the day after we land because by the time we get there it'll already be in the afternoon. Now Merry Xmas Eve, I hope you got wonderful presents and if you didn't, then recognize the presents around you, that you don't often acknowledge in an everyday setting. Goodnight familia ;)

[skiecas]

☀

literally nobody asked, but i really like the [balcony au], so i have some more headcanons!

iwaizumi has lived in the building for three years. he’s a nice guy who gets along with his neighbors (godzilla model on his balcony aside) when he sees them in the halls, so he’s been enjoying a steady era of peace.

then oikawa moves into the apartment above his.

oikawa’s balcony is completely littered with clothes hanging everywhere. it’s not even his laundry; he just has so many clothes that they don’t all fit in his tiny closet (but most of the residents just think he’s showing off, so it makes for a terrible first impression).

the weirdest part of oikawa’s balcony, though, is that thanks to an accident by the previous owner, there is a small hole on his balcony floor that gives him a direct view of iwaizumi’s balcony.

he discovers this on his first day living in the building.

when he notices the hole, he peers into it curiously—and the most handsome man he has ever seen in his life walks out and cupid’s arrow shoots straight through oikawa’s heart.

after this, he is always looking in through the hole to try and get iwaizumi to chat with him (and failing miserably at his attempts to flirt).

iwaizumi hates his new upstairs neighbor so much; the guy is always talking, he just never shuts up, he can’t even remember what peace was like before all this??

he ends up moving his godzilla model right under the hole so oikawa can’t see anything anymore when he looks through.

eventually, though, the two actually start having nice talks and start getting along. iwaizumi will sometimes move the model aside so he can look up and speak directly to oikawa. he ends up eventually moving the model aside for good.

the best part is that iwaizumi has no idea what his upstairs neighbor actually looks like. the hole is so small that all he sees is an eye, a little bit of brown hair, a little bit of a nose. but that’s about it.

so he has no idea his neighbor is a freaking greek god until they finally run into each other in the laundry room and, oh god, iwaizumi’s brain loses all ability to function because OIKAWA IS GORGEOUS???

bokuto has, like, fifty wind chimes on his balcony because he collects them.

he likes to take lots of road trips with his friends, and he has chimes for every town he’s been in.

it started when he and kuroo went on their first road trip together after high school graduation, and they found these chimes in a novelty store that had a handle that looked like a penis. they lost it laughing, and then kuroo bought them for bokuto as a gag gift.

bokuto still has them; they’re also hanging on the balcony (with his forty-nine others, lol).

akaashi lives right next to bokuto.

their balconies are really close together, so if they ever step out at the same time, they can have a normal conversation at normal volume (though they never do, despite bokuto’s attempts).

akaashi is a normal office worker, but his hobby is bird-watching. that’s why his balcony is full of birdhouses and bird feeders, and he loves having lots of bird visitors come so he can feed them and take care of them.

again, his balcony is always spotless though he has never once been seen cleaning up bird poop. the other residents just don’t know how he does it??

akaashi does not like his neighbor because his noisy wind chimes (and even the noisy neighbor himself) are always scaring away the birds.

in the evenings, he’ll often bring a chair out to his balcony, along with a pair of binoculars, just to watch the birds out there do their thing. it’s kind of like stress relief.

sometimes he goes away on long trips with his bird-watching group. he has no idea that bokuto climbs into his balcony when he’s gone, to take care of his bird friends for him while he’s away.

kenma’s balcony is just like the one with all the umbrellas.

he has so many of them because he’s always losing his umbrella and then finding it, like, right after kuroo buys him a new one, lol.

he has his umbrellas set up that way to keep the sun out. since his window faces the sunrise, the light is always waking him up at ungodly hours of the morning (and after he pulled an all-nighter to beat his game, too).

kuroo, his childhood friend, is always visiting and is also the one who found this apartment for him (through his high school friend bokuto, who told him about a vacancy on his floor).

kuroo and bokuto like to hang out in kenma’s apartment all the time (for some goddamn reason, even though bokuto lives, like, right down the hall). kenma doesn’t really mind, though; he’s gotten used to tuning out their noisy conversations/laughter while he focuses on his games. and they feed him. and they have semi-good taste in movies, too.

kuroo does not live in the building.

he lives in a student dorm that’s close to the building and also to his school (where he works as a research assistant), with four other boys: yaku, kai, fukunaga, and tora.

they sleep two to a room (kuroo/yaku, fukunaga/tora, kai gets his own), and have a common living space, kitchen, and bathroom.

kuroo originally wanted kenma to come live in the dorm with him, but kenma refused to live with strangers.

however, kenma visits sometimes and has begrudgingly come to like/get along with kuroo’s roommates, who always give him a warm reception.

kageyama lives in the apartment below iwaizumi’s.

he’s still a high school student, but his parents pay his rent so he can live alone in the apartment.

he has a thousand origami cranes hanging up on his balcony.

they were given to him by his volleyball club teammates, as a sign of well wishes, after he hurt his leg during practice and had to be hospitalized for a week.

since the cranes were hinata’s idea, he of course said they were stupid and dumb and a waste of time/paper. he then proceeded to take them home and carefully hang them up on his balcony so he can see them all the time.

he has to take them down every time it rains, which is kind of a pain, but he’ll still always put them back up after the rain stops.

he also takes them down whenever hinata comes to visit (which is often) out of embarrassment.

kageyama gets along really well with his upstairs neighbor, iwaizumi, who treats him like a little brother and is always having him over for tea and volleyball talk, especially once he finds out kageyama lives alone as a high school student and doesn’t have a close relationship with his parents.

iwaizumi’s upstairs neighbor, oikawa, however, hates him. for some reason.

the reason: oikawa saw them having tea together on iwaizumi’s balcony through his little spy-hole and mistook them as boyfriends, and ooooh, he was jealous. this went on for about two weeks.

after the misunderstanding was cleared up, everything should have been okay. however, kageyama made some very blunt but well-meaning remarks about patching up the hole in oikawa’s balcony, and oikawa was convinced he was out to sabotage his love.

to this day, oikawa still thinks kageyama is in love with iwaizumi and is trying to get in between them.

it doesn’t help that kageyama is always cluelessly walking into their romantic moments and accidentally ruining everything, LOL.

tsukishima’s balcony is just like the one with the excessive drapes that are hiding the entire balcony from view.

(kenma saw this and wanted to do the same for his own, but kuroo didn’t let him).

he does this so he won’t be seen by kageyama or hinata, whom he tutors at the cram school where he works part-time (he’s a college student). he does not want to interact with them more than he already strictly has to.

the day he found out kageyama lives in his building (and that hinata is always visiting) was the worst day of his life.

he already has two sets of curtains hanging in his windows. then he added the covering on his balcony so he can water his plants in peace without being seen.

he also wears a face mask and a hat coming in and out of the building (tsukki, why are you so r i d i c u l o u s). there are rumors circulating among the building’s residents that a ~celebrity~ lives in his apartment.

but it’s just an antisocial college student, LOL.

however, tsukki does get along well with the man who lives next door to him, aone, who was also the one who gave him his plants.

by “well” i mean they don’t really talk but they also don’t hate each other. it works for them.

aone runs an entire freaking greenhouse on his balcony; there is not one inch of his balcony that is not covered in plants (except for the one spot where he keeps the glass tank where his pet turtle lives). he gives out plants to all his neighbors to make room for the new plants he keeps buying.

aone gets along well with akaashi, who lives two floors up, because he loves visiting his apartment and hanging out with all the cute birdies. they bond over birds. aone even joined him on a bird-watching expedition once.

aone’s coworker, futakuchi, crashes at his place a lot whenever his girlfriend is mad at him and kicks him out of the house. they both work at the local zoo.

futakuchi has so much fun teasing aone’s neighbor, tsukki, who is so easily riled up that it’s hilarious. then tsukki will call the security office to send someone up and kick futakuchi out; they always send kamasaki, even though this always ends with a lot of arguing and a physical brawl that aone has to separate.

yachi’s balcony is pretty normal on a day-to-day basis, but during the major holidays and festivals (xmas, valentine’s, first day of spring, tanabata, children’s day, etc.) she will go all out and lavishly decorate her balcony to celebrate.

since she has such an eye for art and design, she makes the most beautiful displays.

they’re so eye-catching and pretty that even people on the street will stop to take pictures of her balcony.

she’s actually gained a small following of fans, and people will make time out of their day to come see what she’s done for each event.

one of these fans is ennoshita, a film student at the nearby college, who comes every time to take photos and has even made an instagram account just for her displays.

the only downside is that yachi gets so anxious about all the people lurking outside the building that she’s too nervous to come out of her apartment on those days. so no one knows who is actually making these displays or what they look like or anything. she’s actually become a sort of urban legend in the neighborhood, lol.

however, she has so much fun making the displays and she loves that it makes people so happy, so she’ll always do it without fail.

hinata is the only one who knows of her identity. he found out one day while visiting kageyama, but he promised to keep her secret and he also brings her things she needs while she’s locked away in her apartment.

yachi also has a habit of using dry erase markers to draw cute pictures or write little notes on her windows. but those are just for herself!

ushijima works as a personal trainer at a nearby gym.

he lives on the second floor and has nothing on his balcony and nothing on his windows. no decorations, no curtains, no drapes. nothing.

this wouldn’t normally be a problem or cause for alarm. except? he has a habit? of exercising naked??

he also has no idea everyone on the street has a perfect view inside his apartment and can see him when he’s doing this.

the first time oikawa accidentally got an eyeful of him doing naked lunges, he cried.

the residents are always complaining to the landlord, moniwa, to do something about this. except ushijima is very intimidating and moniwa is kind of a pushover around him, so these frequent visits amount to absolutely nothing (except for a babbling landlord and a very confused tenant).

at least ushijima answers his door fully clothed.

let’s talk about sweet and precious moniwa.

he’s the landlord, and he absolutely hates it.

a tenant named tsukishima is always calling about some man named futakuchi in his neighbor’s apartment, and kamasaki always volunteers to go deal with it even though tsukishima always ends up calling back to complain about a physical fight.

tsukishima also calls to ask if it’s possible he can kick out a tenant named kageyama, then gets testy when moniwa tries to explain he can’t do that when kageyama hasn’t even done anything wrong.

tenants are always complaining about noisy wind chimes and birds pooping on their balconies.

a tenant named iwaizumi is always calling to insist he patch up a hole that’s not even in his own balcony. then he harrumphs and hangs up when moniwa tries to gently explain to him that the godzilla model on his balcony scares the children living in the building and people are always complaining about it.

ushijima is always naked. but he can do whatever he wants inside his own apartment, so why do people always call moniwa about it??

WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT SO MANY THINGS FROM HIM?

at least tenant yachi is a sweet angel who always brings him cupcakes.

moniwa has started to lose his hair.

he tries to sell the building once, but the only potential buyer is an old man named washijou, who calls him out on his low self-esteem and pushover tendencies and makes him cry. he ends up not even buying the building in the end.

don’t forget, moniwa. you’re here forever.

[ploddingaroundtheglobe]

Tokyo

Travelling from Kuala Lumpur to Tokyo via plane was around 7 hours, we travelled with Air Asia for a second time. We arrived in the evening of 20th December 2016. Very little research was done before we arrived, Japan was not one of our planned destinations. Our next venture was supposed to be Australia but due to visa issues, we decided to be spontaneous and travel somewhere random. Japan was totally different to what we imagined and exceeded our expectations. What an amazing little country! We hopped into a taxi transfer to our small apartment, we had rented for several days, little did we know and not until we reached the highway, that we was in a chauffeured hat and suit taxi and the meter was going up very quickly, when we arrived it was equivalent to £112.00, we felt sick and reluctant to pay the guy but it was our own faults for just jumping in, we may still have been in Asia but it was not as cheap as Thailand and actually quite an expensive city.

Tokyo is the capital city of Japan, with 37.393 million residents all residing in this one city. Tokyo was originally known by the name Edo, the city was founded by the Edo clan in the late twelfth century, they went on to build the Edo Castle. Japanese currency is known as Japanese yen, their seasonal weather is identical to the UK. Although it does get much warmer in the summer and cooler in the winter months. Spring is one of the most popular months due to the cherry blossom season. Japanese love cherry blossoms, it symbolizes human life, transience and nobleness. They hold flower watching parties known as “Hanami”. We would have loved to have visited the cherry blossoms but unfortunately it was mid winter when we arrived. 

Me and Tom were literally lost in translation in Japan, obviously we had not learnt any Japanese language apart from Hai which meant yes and Arigato which means thank you. When we went into the shops, locals would spiel off full conversations and all we could reply with was Hai, we could have been agreeing to anything. Occasionally we would come across a local who spoke broken English which was a god send, but some how we made our way about Japan winging it. At the train stations the places and locations had English spellings underneath which did help us and they usually had English speaking person on the information desk. The trains were always rammed with people, doing their daily commutes. The Japanese are very reserved people, so trains were busy yet so quiet. It was forbidden to make loud conversation on the trains.

Spending Christmas in Tokyo felt right as it was their winter too, we come prepared with clothing as in Malaysia we decided to buy coats and winter accessories to keep us warm. It was the first time we had experienced cold weather in about 5 months so it was actually quite delightful. We spent Christmas in Tokyo in our little apartment. We had traditional Japanese style beds on the floor, which consisted of a wooden mat and padded cushions. It was actually really comfortable and has better benefits for the back allowing you to sleep in a more firm supportive position. we purchased our xmas gifts to one another from the 100 yen shop, which is like their pound shop. We got each other essentials like gloves, back massagers and chop sticks and of course Christmas hats. In Japan their traditional Christmas dinner is a KFC take out. 3.6 million Japanese families enjoy KFC on Christmas day. People have to prebook their meals due to the popularity and demand at Christmas time, otherwise they have to face long ques. We managed to scrape together some ingredients to make a Christmas meal. Going back to the part about getting lost in translation, what we thought was a traditional gravy was actually a soy sauce so when our meal was prepared we covered our meals in soy sauce and that pretty much cremated the meal.

There is so much site seeing to be done in Tokyo, our feet were aching most days from the amount of steps we put in. The city has arcades splashed all around, from photo booths, to teddy crane machines. Japanese are not allowed to gamble with actual money so they all play a game called Pachinko. It is a type of mechanical game used as both recreational and gambling. Purchasing Pachinko balls in the hope to win double back. Its like a loophole into gambling. watching them all fixated on the machines was crazy, there was even some areas where it was legal to smoke and play. Some of the players would sit there hours on end. 

A lot of the locals walking round were wearing wacky clothing or fancy dress, Japanese love to bring out their inner child. There is a street in Tokyo called Takeshita Street. It is a pedestrian shopping street, lined with fashion boutiques cafes and restaurants. The street is mobbed with people in fancy dress, the shops are full of the latest gadgets and accessories, full of colour and character. Tokyo has the best crepe shops filled with your desired choices. Definately a must try whilst here!

Dressing like childrens toy dolls is popular in Japan, there is even a barbie cafe, where female Japanese would dress up as their favourite dolls and take a long their toy dolls, they would all meet up and enjoy afternoon tea together. Back home people would think it was a bit weird, but it was something that made them happy and reminisce been a child. 

We visited one of the Maid cafes in Tokyo, in these particular cafes the staff dress up in maid costumes and act as servants, treating the customers as their masters in their private homes. This was definitely even a bit weird for me, it was a place for fetishes. The clientele was predominately old creepy men. As we sat down in the cafe, we was each given animals ears, and when we wanted to order we had to make animal noises. It was all too weird for me, you was not allowed to video or take pictures until your designated time where you would pose for a picture with one of the cafes maids. 

Tokyo is so noisy and busy at night time, venturing the streets at night is amazing. Shibuya crossing is the famous and most busiest crossing at the peak times. When the lights turn red and green for pedestrians, people from all directions cross the road at the same time, you literally cannot stop in the middle as people would just stamp all over you.

There were even tours which you could join, where you could ride real life Mario go karts around the city. The gadgets in Tokyo are  on another level, the toilets are amazing, you could literally loose 20 minutes just playing with each toilet function, the heated seat was my fave especially on a winters morning. 

In Tokyo there are love rooms which can be rented by the hour, for people who would like some privacy for a few hours. The rooms usually come equipped with jacuzzi tubs, complimentary condoms and mirrored ceilings. We rented a room for the experience, we mainly just wanted to sit in the jacuzzi, nothing seedy about the visit.

It was essential that we didn’t leave Tokyo without seeing the sumo wrestlers. Sumo is a form of competitive full contact wrestling, where the wrestler “Rikishi” attempts to force his opponent out of the circular ring. Japan is the only place where the sport is practiced professionally and considered a national sport. The sumos wear a Mawashi which is a 30 foot long belt that they tie in a knot at the back. The thickness of the belt will cover the nether regions, the belt can be grabbed by the wrestler and used to assist them during the tournaments. Living a sumo life sounds very regimented, certain behaviours have to be followed, for example growing their hair into a top knot, they are also expected to dress in Japanese traditional wear, the type and quality of their dress depends on their hierachy status. Their strict eating regimens state that they should skip breakfast and have a large lunch, they will then have a siesta after this. This time allows them to gain the weight they need. Rich diets of meats, fish, and veggies washed down with a beer. The lifestyle of a sumo impacts their health as they usually only have a life expetancy of 60-65 years of age, as they usually develop health conditions like diabetes or high blood pressure. In the neighborhood of Ryogoku, there is a training facility for sumos, we was able to visit one morning and watch them in training through the window. They even ventured outside afterwards to pose for pictures. The stance and stretches that they can get into is unbelievable. with all that weight and they are still so flexible. 

Tokyo's famous landmark is the Sky tree, it is a observation and broadcasting tower. It became the tallest tower in 2011 at 634 metres high and the second tallest structure in the world after the Burj Khalifa. 

Our 6th year anniversary on boxing day was celebrated in Tokyo. We visited Meji Jingu Shrine. This is one of the most popular shrines in Japan. Nestled in the heart of the city and a bit of an escape from the busy city outside. It is located just outside the Harajuku Station, and there are approximately 100,000 trees in the surrounding area. The shrine is dedicated to the derifed spirits of the Emperor Meji. Inside the shrine was a station where visitors were writing down their wishes before posting them into a sealed box. We wrote down our wish and placed it into the love box. The shrine was vibrant and beautiful, a great little visit if your in the area. 

We absolutely loved Tokyo and we would definately return in the future maybe in the spring next time. Our next venture was to Hakone to visit the Yunessun Spa via train.

[itslulu42]

21 writers questions tag!

Tagged by @thatwriternamedvolk

Volk is a very kind person who has a writerblr, writes original stories and tagged me in this doodad.  I’m so honored right now.

FYI, I had a lot of people tag me last week and tbh, I lost track of which games I had answered already.  Sorry if I missed one!

1. Short stories, novels, or poems?

Novels.  I love the journey in both reading and writing.  

2. What genre do you prefer reading?

Ohh, I don’t know.  After I discovered fanfic, it became sort of my go to thing.  There’s something very comforting about reading stories with familiar characters.  Now when I read a lot of books I become dissatisfied mid-way through.  Some of those stories had so much exposition that I felt the full potential of the story was never realized.  My goal this years is to read a lot more books to strengthen my own writing.

3. What genre do you prefer writing?

Somehow I became the comedy writer?  I find it very easy to make a joke, I think it is because my real life has a tendency to descend into the absurdist.  

4. Are you a planner or a write-as-you-go kind of person?

Sadly, I’m a write-as-you-go person.  I’ve made outlines and they’ve been abandoned mid-way through because the characters usher me in a different direction.  It’s awful.  Horrible.  If you can avoid it, please do so.  Having an outline is so much easier on your mind and the words flow easier when you know what to do.

5. What kind of music do you listen to as you write?

It’s usually musical soundtracks without words.  

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDDB91587DF81478D

6. Favorite books/movies?

Books: American Gods, Harry Potter, To Kill a Mockingbird and Matilda.  That’s right, I’m still not over Matilda. 

Movies: Thor 3, How to Train Your Dragon, and Remember the Titans. 

7. Any current WIPs?

I try not to have too many WIPs because I know it will be easier to abandon the story.  There is EBTKS of course, plus the first chapter of Time Travel no Jutsu.  There’s a Kakasaku xmas story that I’ll finish for next year.  A Kakasaku spy story has a great beginning, but I have yet to figure out the middle.  I also have three chapters of a Miraculous Ladybug story that will never see the light of day because there was no plot.  I was just experimenting writing with the character’s voices.  

Oh!  I also have a secret story for mouseymightymarvellous. I’m not even going to tag her so maybe she won’t see this. 

Plot bunnies include:

A Sakumo and Kakashi story called Code Hatake: Origins

The sequel to the Kakasaku story: Lost

A Madakaka story called The Eye Thief. 

A Miraculous Ladybug fairy tale story

8.If someone where to make a cartoon character of you, what would your standard outfit be?

Um... t-shirt, scarf, and jeans.  

9. Create a character description of yourself.

Quiet neighbor that vaguely waves at you across the street.  This neighbor lives next to your main character for a year and is still unnamed.  hen one day, then one day the neighbor knocks on the door and is bearing baked goods. She isurprisingly funny and observant.  

10. Do you incorporate people you actually know into your writing?

No. 

11. Are you kill-happy with your characters.

No.  Unless if it serves my plot, everybody lives.  I like to be strategic with my character deaths.

12. Dream job?

I have no idea.  I’m flighty and I have no interest in doing one thing for the rest of my life.  In fact, the idea makes me very ill.  

13. Coffee or tea while writing?

Coffee.

14. Slow or fast writer?

I can type like a mofo when I’m on a sprint.  I can usually write about 1k in 30 minutes.  But those words are garbage and require a ton of editing and that’s what bogs me down into to the slow writer status

15. Where/who/what do you find inspiration from?

Tropes.  Obviously.  I love them so much and I love subverting them or using them to play with my readers’ expectations. 

16. If you were put into a fantasy world, what would you be?

Some kind of seamstress that you buy goods from.  I’d probably make blankets or something.  

17. Most fave book cliché? Least fave book cliché?

Best: Friends realizing they could be something more.

Worst: Obligatory romance that could easily be thrown out and wouldn’t change the story at all.  

18. Fave places to write.

My sofa.  The internet connection is spotty there so I tend to be distracted by the internet less.

19. Fave scenes to write.

Banter!  Ahh, I love dialogue between two characters.  It’s a good place to put in a smidgen of exposition and a few funny lines.  

20. Most productive time of day to write?

Mid-morning while drinking my cup of coffee.  It feels like an accomplishment when I take a break.  (What’s this, it’s only 11am and I still have a 12 more hours that I can use for writing??)

21. Reason for writing?

Reviews.  I’m not going to lie.  I’m pretty shameless about it.  I love feedback.  I love knowing that my garbage words have been shined up enough to make people laugh.  

I’m going to tag @vesperlionheart and @sariasprincy