#the paternoster gang is river's family
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expectiations · 5 months ago
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Dear Tia,
I am scared of pressuring you, but it is rather difficult to keep track of whether anonymous asks have been answered already. And I saw you answering asks and just wanted to check in whether you have gotten around to my ao3 asks yet. So that if you have, I can go scavenge for them :)
I hope you are having a good day <3
(And don't listen to the River haters; I pity them, it is so much better to love her)
ao3-anon
OH SHIT I AM SO SORRY. I genuinely thought you're the same participant. Or maybe it's two? Idrk 🥹 but anyways here are my answers. And I'm assuming (🥹) that these previous asks came from the same person? So I'm grouping them into this ask too.
– one
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When I wrote that DNW, I was in a messy headspace (heh) so I just wanted lighthearted fluff stuff. However, it's also okay for me to have a few angsty moments while keeping the overall fic lighthearted in feels.
Playful DoctorRiver banter? Sure! They're fine for me.
I'm a bit partial to River but if the situation fits for Mels, go ahead! Same goes for using another regeneration of the Doctor.
– two
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I am glad to say that I've been doing my best to sleep before 12 am 🫶🏻✨ (except last night. that was a fluke. and totally @croxxbunx's fault 🙄)
Aw thank you! I totally missed writing fanfics 🥹
I am proud to say I'm quite good at drumming up endless prompts. I'm just rubbish at moving it from prompt-level to fic-level lol
– three
I didn't include it since the questions have been answered but thank you for the hug!! 🫂
On another note, I just remembered how I came up with that prompt in the first place. I found it amusing to put the Paternoster Gang in a situation where they have to deal with DoctorRiver shenanigans but in a sort of loop. Cause I have this headcanon that the Gang are sort of like parental figures to River. And also provide marriage counseling on the side. And the fun Strax and young!River, who's still quite attached to her guns, would have together!
I mean we all know how the TARDIS totally adores her Water, right? So she makes River a room full of weapons and she and Strax have such a fun time there. Totally for the glory of the Sontaran Empire of course.
Like just imagine young!River, new to Luna U, struggling to be more 'human' than 'weapon'. Fighting the urge to punch/shoot first, ask second. Here comes along the Gang, who shows her how to find her balance, who comforts her and assures her it's okay to hold a weapon while also holding her back from going on a rampage at the slightest grievance.
Strax also had a nursing stint, yes? He nurses River's wounds (you really should be more careful, boy. you are not a strong and mighty Sontaran.) and teaches her how to take care of different kinds of wounds and how to fight for the glory of the Sontaran Empire. I can just hear baby River's giggle and see her bright eyes taking in everything Strax teaches her.
Jenny and Madame Vastra. Feminominons of the Victorian Era. Also River's badass mothers who try to teach her empathy and etiquette, how to give as good as she gets. I like to imagine them dropping in on River and making sure she's eating well, helping her study. (They also totally had nothing to do with the disappearance of the Professor who tried to claim her essay as their own. Absolutely not.)
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adventure-showdown · 1 year ago
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What has been nominated so far
Note, just because something has been nominated, and so is listed here, does not mean it will be included, I will include the absolute most I can but if I can't find it on TARDIS wiki its not getting in because i can't verify its a piece of who media
Also note, there might be some mistakes on here, I'm copying the nominations across directly, there might be some stories that are listed twice without me realising, because of alternate titles, or I just didn't spot it, or stuff that was spelt wrong when it was nominated, feel free to tell me
I've done my best to spot when nominations of a series were intended to enter the individual parts rather than the series as a unit, if I've got this wrong let me know and I will fix it. (if a story is on one line its currently being considered as a unit)
Final note, a couple of things got nominated under multiple mediums, usually full length TV story and minisode, so if you can't find your nomination, maybe check one of the other mediums
You can make further nominations here, there are basically no limits so long as its set in the Whoniverse (or its about Doctor Who, eg An Adventure in Space and Time or The 5 (ish) Doctors Reboot)
the list is under the cut (I will endeavour to keep it up to date)
Audio
Main Range
The Marian Conspiracy
The Apocalyse Element
The Shadow of the Scourge
The Holy Terror
Storm Warning
Minuet in Hell
Loups-Garoux
The Chimes of Midnight
Seasons of Fear
The Time of the Daleks
Jubilee
Neverland
Spare Parts
Creatures of Beauty
Doctor Who and the Pirates
Omega
Master (Main Range 49)
Zagreus
Scherzo
The Natural History of Fear
Arrangements for War
The Harvest
Faith Stealer
Caerdroia
Terror Firma
Singularity
Other Lives
The Kingmaker
The Girl Who Never Was
The Condemned
The Doomwood Curse
The Magic Mousetrap
The Company of Friends: Benny's Story
The Company of Friends: Fitz's Stroy
The Company of Friends: Izzy's Story
The Company of Friends: Mary's Story
A Death in the Family
Robophobia
The Silver Turk
1963: The Assassination Games
The Widow's Assassin
Dalek Soul
The Grey Man of the Mountain
The Eighth Doctor Adventures
The Blood of the Daleks
Horror of Glam Rock
Immortal Beloved
Phobos
No More Lies
Human Resources
To the Death
Doom Coalition
The Eleven
The Red Lady
The Galileo Trap
The Gift
The Sonomancer
Absent Friends
The Eighth Piece
The Doomsday Chronometer
The Crucible of Souls
Ship in a Bottle
Songs of Love
The Side of the Angels
Stop the Clock
Ravenous
Escape from Kaldor
Better Watch Out/Fairytale in Salzburg
Companion Piece
Day of the Master
Stranded
Stranded as a Whole (I think, I couldn't find a story called Stranded)
UNIT Dating
What Lies Inside
Paradox of the Daleks
Connections
Here Lies Drax
The Love Vampires
Albie's Angels
Special Releases
Living Legend
Out of Time
Out of Time (individual story)
Wink
The Companion Chronicles
Solitaire
Peri and the Piscon Paradox
The Cold Equations
The Last Post
The Scorchies
The Tenth Doctor Adventures
Death and the Queen
The Sword of the Chevalier
No Place
The Creeping Death
The Tenth Doctor and River Song
Expiry Dating
Ghosts
Once and Future
The Martian Invasion of Planetoid 50
The Diary of River Song
The Bekdel Test
The Lost Stories
The Queen of Time
Paradise 5
The Elite
Short Trips
I am the Master
Forever Fallen
A Full Life
Bernice Summerfield
Oh No It Isn't
The Faction Paradox Protocols
The Eleven Day Empire/The Shadow Play
Torchwood
The Last Beacon
Serenity
Rhys and Ianto's Excellent Barbecue
Gallifrey
Square One
First Days of Phaidon
Gallifrey IV
Warfare
Unity
Missy
A Spoonful of Mayhem
The Lumiat
Too Many Masters
The Paternoster Gang: Heritage
The Cars That Ate London!
A Photograph to Remember
Destiny of the Doctor
Smoke and Mirrors
Novel Adaptations
Nightshade
Fifth Doctor Box Set
Psychodrome
Iterations of I
Psychodrome
Iterations of I
Counter-Measures
The Fifth Citadel
The Forgotten Village
Peshka
The Concrete Cage
The New Counter Measures
Troubled Waters
The Hollow King
The Eighth of March
Inside Every Warrior
Comics
TV Comic
Time in Reverse
Doctor Who: The Eleventh Doctor
Space in Dimension Relative and Time
Doctor Who: The Thirteenth Doctor
Old Friends
Doctor Who Magazine
The Star Beast
Voyager
The World Shapers
Ground Zero
The Flood
The Fallen
The Land of Happy Endings
Direct to Home Media Films
PROBE
PROBE: The Zero Imperative
PROBE: The Devil of Winterborne
PROBE: Unnatural Selection
PROBE: Ghosts of Winterborne
PROBE: When to Die
The Stranger
The Stranger: Summoned by Shadows
The Stranger: More than a Messiah
The Stranger: In Memory Alone
The Stranger: The Terror Game
The Stranger: Breach of the Peace
The Stranger: Eye of the Beholder
Other
Downtime
Shada (1992) - version with linking narration
Sil and the Devil Seeds of Arodor
Wartime
K9 (spinoff series)
Regeneration/Liberation/The Korven
The Bounty Hunter
Sirens of Ceres
Fear Itself
The Fall of the House of Gryffen
Jays of Orthrus
Dream-Eaters
Curse of Anubis
Oroborus
Alien Avatar
Aeolian
The Last Oak Tree
Black Hunger
The Cambridge Spy
Lost Library of Ukko
Mutant Copper
The Custodians
Taphony and the Time Loop
Robot Gladiators
Mind Snap/Angel of the North/The Last Precinct/Hounds of the Korven/The Eclipse of the Korven
Minisodes
A Fix with Sontarans
Born Again
Clara and the TARDIS
Dimensions in Time
Emperor of the Daleks (More than 30 Years in the TARDIS)
famine appeal 1986
Merry Christmas Doctor Who
P.S.
Pond Life
Rain Gods
Space/Time
Tardisodes
The Battle of Demons Run: Two Days Later
The Bells of Saint John: A Prequel
The Doctor's Meditation
The Great Detective
The Last Day
The Naked Truth
The Shrink
Time Crash
Wall's Sky Ray lollies advertisment
Seret Message from the Time Lords (Weetabix advert)
Novels & Short Stories
Short Stories and Short Story Collections
12 Doctors, 12 Stories
Grey Matter
Lepidoptery for Beginners
Something Borrowed
Nothing at the End of the Lane
The Room With All the Doors
Standalone
Harvest of Time
Scratchman
The Stranger
Engines of War
The Eighth Doctor Adventures
Vampire Science
Alien Bodies
Seeing I
The Scarlet Empress
Unnatural History
Interference
The Blue Angel
The Burning
The Turing Test
The Year of Intelligent Tigers
The City of the Dead
The Adventuress of Henrietta Street
Mad Dogs and Englishmen
Anachrophobia
The Book of the Still
The Crooked World
Camera Obscura
The Gallifrey Chronicles
The Past Doctor Adventures
Divided Loyalties
Fear of the Dark
Fear Itself
Novelisations
Doctor Who and Shada (fan novelisation)
Virgin New Adventures
The Left-Handed Hummingbird
Human Nature
Lungbarrow
Faction Paradox
The Book of War
This Town Will Never Let Us Go
Of the City of the Saved
The New Series Adventures
The Blood Cell
Other
Step Into the 80s!/On Through the 80's! (adverts)
Ronald Rat continuity announcement
Zygon: When Being you Just isn't Enough (Porno)
The Man From MI5
The Infinite Quest
Dooms Day hour 1
Songs
Doctor in Distress
Doctorin' the TARDIS by the Timelords
I'm gonna Spend my Christmas with a Dalek
TV (this category is less about if it was televised and more about the length to distinguish it from minisodes)
Dreamland
Search Out Space
Webcasts
Real Time
Shada (2 nominations)
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flowingtune · 3 months ago
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Masterlist
Last updated: September 25, 2024
Doctor Who
Dust Buddies (Christofer Ibrahim/Kate Stewart)
sweet child o' mine (family fluff)
how did it end? (Christofer/Kate)
hickeys (fluff, slice of life)
The Doctor and River Song
this is the way the world ends (14/River)
a love untamed (13/River)
Thoschody (The Doctor/River Song/The Master)
all memory of past wrong (AU)
River and The TARDIS
whistle and i'll be there
Prompt Fill
change of plans (Paternoster Gang + River Song + Kate Stewart)
Doctor Who RPF
and, when the time comes to let it go, let it go (Alex/Matt/Jon)
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riversofmars · 3 years ago
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Hey :) I'm reading World Enough, And Time right now and decided to take a detour because I feel my question doesn't really belong in a comment: Would you be interested in sharing some thoughts/head canons on the friendship between Vastra and River? Again, I have very limited knowledge of the extended universe, so maybe you are just drawing from there. But I just mean, we have barely seen them interacting in the show; we know they're friends, but that's about it. And in World Enough, And Time it seems to always be Vastra who has River in mind. Who asks the Doctor to speak to her/meet her, reminds the others to be careful so River doesn't get hurt when on the data stick and so on. Is that a coincidence/just how I perceive it? Is it just Vastra generally being sensible and more aware of what's going on around them than the others? Or do you believe her friendship to River is special in a way? And if so, would you like to elaborate? Because I'd love to know :)
Oh I love this question! And I hope you're enjoying the story still 😁
So, as it happens, they don't meet in any of the audios which is a damn shame! But I'm hoping maybe one day... the Paternoster Gang audios are brilliant and seeing as River is gonna be hanging out with UNIT in her next audio adventure, surely a trip to Victorian London could be in the cards for the future as well? She does tend to meet other recurring characters in her volumes (like Kovarian and the Master, not to mention all the past Doctors) so a Paternoster Gang volume would be perfect. Come on Big Finish, give it to us!
Now, as to how I've been writing Vastra... The way I see it she is a natural leader and she's been through a lot herself. She's very perceptive and considerate, she doesn't do anything without thinking it through. I do feel like I know her better through the audios as well though, you just get a better sense of her personality, the way she acts, speaks and her priorities. We get some of that from the show of course but not the full spectrum.
In my opinion, Vastra has a very keen sense for right and wrong, for decency, for loyalty and for family. Jenny and Strax are her family (there are some lovely scenes in the audios where that's showcased and it's so poignant) and she defends them fiercely. That's why I feel like she would not only be the voice of reason for the doctor but also the person to reinforce the importance of family. She has found happiness with Jenny, she has found the place where she belongs and in large part, that is thanks to the doctor. Therefore, she wants to repay that favour and enable her to have the same.
As to River and Vastra's relationship, I have nothing much to base it on apart from the vibe I got in The Name of the Doctor 😅 which is that they get on extremely well and have a great deal of respect and admiration for each other. They are birds of a feather, they are very much alike in their strength, their determination, their intelligence, they relate to one another and a firm friendship was the result (in my opinion).
I definitely have a head canon for River popping in for afternoon tea at Paternoster Row now and again 😁😁😁
I hope that makes sense, that was a lot of rambling 😅🙈
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musical-chick-13 · 4 years ago
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ANYWAY I love the Pond family, I love River Song, I love Missy, I love Twelve, I love the undercurrent of anti-war sentiment, I love the deconstruction of codependency present in Twelve and Clara’s relationship, I love Bill and her representation of queerness, I love Ashildr and Nardole and the Paternoster gang and the character arcs and themes from series 5 through 10 of Doctor Who.
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armageddon-generation · 5 years ago
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The Big Moffat Rewrite: Series 7
Following on from my Series 5 and my Series 6 rewrites
XMAS SPECIAL The Snowmen
The Bells of Saint John
The Rings of Akhaten
Cold War
A Town Called Mercy
The Slow Invasion
Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS
Asylum of the Cybermen
Nightmare in Silver
Dinosaurs on a Spaceship
Hide
Supremacy of the Daleks
Extermination of the Daleks
The Name of the Doctor
The Snowmen
·         11 is still a recluse in Victorian London, but because in my Series 6 he left the Ponds instead of losing them, it’s because he’s convinced he’ll screw up if he travels again. After wiping himself from history he’s lying low, not helping because he’s convinced he’ll make things worse
·         (also he’s totally wallowing in self-pity because of his self-imposed exile from the Ponds)
·         Clara re-convinces him he can make positive change, drags him out of his self-absorption, shows him something new
 CLARA’s CHARACTER
·         Clara gets all of series 7. Moffat originally wanted The Time of the Doctor to be a whole series, so we can fit some of that stuff about the Silence and Trenzalore in here.
·         GIVE CLARA A FUCKING ARC – the Doctor takes an ordinary girl who he thinks is special, and accidentally makes her special
·         Most people seem to prefer Victorian! Clara to her in S7B anyway, so she becomes that flirty, authoritative character by the finale
·         The pieces were already there – her being scared in Cold War compared to her taking charge in Nightmare in Silver, but make it explicit – the Doctor realises he is changing Clara and turning her into the person he met in Victorian London and the Cyberman Asylum
·         This sets up her arcs and relationship with 12 – he brings out the liar in her, forces her to become cold and calculating. This is now already happening with 11
The Rings of Akhaten
·         Introduce Trisha Lem, the head of the Church of the Silence, here. The best part of this episode is The Speech, but we could easily say that the Silence is presiding over the Long Song ceremony to appease the Old God, taking the place of those creatures hunting the little girl. 
·         (I imagine the Church pre-Trenzalore as a kind of Shadow Proclamation for religion - presiding over and safeguarding the religious traditions of species across the universe)
·         This way Trisha and the Silence’s role as confessionals doesn’t come out of nowhere in The Time of the Doctor
·         11 and Trisha’s relationship being so flirty confuses me - as the head of the Church, 11 must associate her with all the pain the Silence caused River and the Ponds. Instead, he acts really flirty but Clara notices he’s faking it – a reflection of their own relationship?
·         Trisha doesn’t understand why 11 is being elusive.
A Town Called Mercy
·         Use this story’s framework – a Western where 11 is forced to protect war criminal – and insert River
·         Partly bc River and Clara interacting seems super interesting
·         River is angry at 11 for ‘replacing’ the Ponds. I also think she’d be competitive with Clara? As she’s scattered all over the Doctor’s timestream, Clara is the only person who really could compete with her
·         As an archaeologist expert on the Doctor River knows about Clara, but can’t tell 11 exactly what she is
·         Also 11 agreeing with River’s more violent methodology is really interesting and shows how they can feed into each other’s dark sides – think River’s line from The Angels Take Manhattan – “One psychopath per TARDIS, don’t you think?”
The Slow Invasion
·         A version of The Power of Three told from the perspective of the Alice character who replaced Craig in S5/6. 11 pops in and out of her life with different versions of Clara
·         It’s revealed that 11 has tried to travel with different versions of Clara before, tracking her down all across the universe, but she always, always dies. Our Clara doesn’t know.
·         Alice is deeply critical of what 11 is doing. She acts almost as his therapist; he comes over for tea and talks to her about what’s going on.
·         Instead of the cubes being alien exterminators, this is a plot buy the Great Intelligence (series 7′s big bad) inspired by the Skith from DWM comic The First and Superman villain Brainiac – i.e. the Intelligence is collecting all information it can about a thing, and then destroys it to stop that knowledge becoming commonplace and therefore losing its value. Specifically, the Intelligence is also investigating Clara (because she keeps appearing across its timeline). The Intelligence’s fascination is a dark parallel to 11’s
·         Alice asks 11 what happened to the Ponds, and he reveals they still think he’s dead. Alice tells 11 to go see them (the ending scenes of The Doctor, the Widow and The Wardrobe). She also tells him to start treating Clara like a real person, not a human question mark
·         11 takes Clara to meet them. River is also there, having dinner. The episode closes with them reconnecting
Pond Life
·         After The Slow Invasion launch this minisode series about life post-11, with River barging in instead of the Doctor
Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS
·         Tie the TARDIS disliking Clara into the series arc – it’s because the TARDIS knows Clara is an anomaly scattered through the Doctor’s timestream. Have a scene in Journey To the Centre of the TARDIS where 11 argues with the TARDIS about it – “Do you know what she is? You do, don’t you? I miss the time when you could talk and just tell me.”
·         The TARDIS went to the end of the universe to throw Jack Harkness off, and 11 abandoned Future!Amy in The Girl Who Waited because the TARDIS hates paradoxes – this is the same kind of thing, just make it clear by the finale (Clara even jumps into the time stream INSIDE the TARDIS)
·         Clara remembers the events of the episode so she can be be active in the investigation of who she is, (also fixing how the episode undoes the three brothers’ arcs, but still insists they grew as people at the end)
          This represents 11 opening up to her and trusting her more
Asylum of the Daleks (retitled Asylum of the Cybermen)
         Roll Nightmare in Silver and Asylum into a 2-parter, because the best part of Nightmare is Mister Clever. Both episodes even have the same ‘someone’s about to destroy the planet’ ticking time bomb.
         The army fighting the Cybermen kidnap 11 to get him to destroy the Asylum with a bunch of expendable grunts they can afford to lose to a suicide mission.·         Clara meeting/interacting with another version of herself is really interesting, so we keep converted Oswin saving them·
         Changing it to Asylum of the Cybermen makes more sense thematically
        All those people, including Oswin, being converted – the Asylum’s security system is its conversion machinery – attackers become part of the security system. Instead of a nano-cloud, use the tiny upgraded Cybermats·
         It would also be scarier (a haunted hospital a la World Enough and Time- botched cybermen > insane Daleks) and would add an interesting layer to Cyberman lore instead of making the Daleks look weak. It can also use old models to explain the Cybermen’s multiple backstories, touched on in The Doctor Falls (”everywhere there’s people, there’s cybermen,” 12 says)·
         The ‘subtracting love’ thing makes more sense with cybermen too – instead of Amy and Rory, focus on Clara holding onto her connection with 11 – emphasising their genuine, emotion-based bond over ‘flirty quirky plot device’·
         This renewed focus on the Cybermen is good because the last full-on Cyberman story was in Series 2 (in The Next Doctor they’re just kind of in the background), and Moffat is much better at writing the body-horror of the Cybermen than he is writing the Daleks.
Nightmare in Silver
·         11 deliberately lets himself be ‘infected’ by the asylum’s nanocloud and begins conversion in attempt to save the converted Oswin’s mind.
·         Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the origin of Handles, the Cyberman head from The Time of The Doctor: the remains of Oswin’s cyber-converted mind downloaded into a head.
·         11 uses Mr Clever to get information about her - i.e. that she just appeared one day as a fully-formed person without any family. This sets up the other Claras being time remnants. 
·         It also lets Mr Clever play more psychological games with 11 and Clara – Mr Clever reveals 11 is scared of Clara, putting more strain on Clara having to hold on to her emotional attatchments
·         The Cybermen are actively trying to get out. This way we dig into their primary drive – survival at all costs,
·         What happens when a Cyberman’s emotional inhibitor is broken, but they don’t die? Driven insane and desperate, and fiercely intelligent.
·         I like the idea of the Cybermen like the Xenomorph in Alien; blending in with thoier broken down, mechanical environment, plugging into it and using to separate and play games with the soldiers.
Dinosaurs on a Spaceship
·         Replace The Crimson Horror with a version of Dinosaurs on a Spaceship with the Paternoster Gang replacing Brian, the Ponds, Nefertiti and that hunter bloke
·         I just really need to see Vastra interacting with her culture OK? Seeing her be taken back to her childhood, opening up to Jenny about it. Her anger, realising what the villain Solomon has done to her people. Use this conflict to call back to and explain how she met the Doctor, how he stopped her slaughtering humans before.
·         Clara and 11 go to the Paternoster Gang for help investigating her other selves
·         Clara researches and finds her past selves, not only in Victorian London but also throughout the 60s and 70s, when she’s helping the past Doctors – finding this research is how the kids find out she’s a time traveller
·         This is how THE DOCTOR REALISES HE’S SEEN HER MANY TIMES BEFORE, setting up The Name of the Doctor’s out-of-nowhere, un-guessable resolution.
·         Dark!11 again. Matt saoid they would’ve explored a ‘meaneer’ version if he’d stayed on for series 8. Clara is the perfect way to bring that out as they lie and manipulate each other for their own ends.
DALEK CIVIL WAR STORY
·         Progenitor Daleks vs the regular Time War model. Display how the Progenitor Daleks are different - each of them having a different weapon/role etc. The crux of the story is that the Progenitor Daleks are better at fighting the Doctor and come close to killing him, but the other Daleks value their ‘purity’ and survival more
·         Maximum Dark!11
The Name of the Doctor
·         When 11 rescues Clara she is changed – she retains bits and pieces of her time remnants’ experiences, it’s at once traumatising and exhilarating
The Time of the Doctor
·         Whereas The End of Time felt stretched-out (135 minutes) this felt really rushed. Make it 2 parts.
·         We see the set-up of Trenzalore and the Church of Silence in the first.
·         The second part is the long siege of Trenzalore – we need to see 11 age fighting these monsters, taking his turn being left behind, the tragedy of him slowly losing his memory, focusing on his character
·         We can also flesh out the citizens of Trenzalore and Christmas so their safety is important to us
·         Let’s see Madame Kovarian and her splinter cell break off from the main Church of Silence and leave to try and kill the Doctor – make her a supporting character
·         Then have Trisha Lem explicitly talk to the Doctor about how Kovarian blowing up the TARDIS caused the cracks in the universe in the first place, allowing the Time Lords to get their message out. Instead of a montage, have this be the moment that unites the Doctor and the Silence – they are both fighting to make up for their mistakes and the problems they caused
·         We see the many races surrounding Trenzalore form the alliance from The Pandorica Opens
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the-desolated-quill · 7 years ago
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The Snowmen - Doctor Who blog
(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)
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The Snowmen has got to be the least Christmassy Christmas special ever, and believe it or not I mean that in a positive way. Doctor Who Christmas specials have always left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth, not just because most of them have been poorly written and just plain idiotic, but also because every year the show seems determined to drown you in slush. To its credit, The Snowmen does manage to escape that somewhat, keeping the slush to a minimum. Okay the villain is ultimately defeated by ‘a family crying at Christmas’, but it never comes off as mawkish and there is actually a decent in-universe explanation for how that worked, so I’ll allow it just this once.
So who are the villains? A deadpan Richard E. Grant and some carnivorous snow voiced by Ian McKellen. Compared to other Christmas special villains, they’re fairly good. Out of the two, Mr. Simian’s character is the weak link because we don’t learn anything about his character or the nature of his relationship with the snow, but Grant’s performance is still pretty good and it holds your attention. Ian McKellen also does a decent job with the material he’s been given, and I do like the idea of alien snow, even if the bitey snowflakes and smiling snowmen were a bit gigglesome (and the less said about the bad CGI ice governess, the better I think). It’s a bit like the robot Santas and killer Christmas trees from the RTD era. It’s silly, but it’s enjoyably silly. And as an added treat for us classic series fans, it turns out this episode is actually an origin story for the Great Intelligence. Usually you can see Moffat’s plot twists coming several galaxies away, so I was kicking myself that I didn’t pick up on it the first time. Particularly considering how the hints and Easter Eggs are so obvious on rewatches. The Snowmen as in The Abominable Snowmen and the Yeti. A disembodied voice trying to gain a physical form. The map of the London Underground. The snow is being kept in a giant sphere inside Simian’s office. And of course the initials GI. So yeah, that was a nice callback.
All in all, this could have been a fairly decent Christmas special. Nothing to write home about, but still watchable. Unfortunately The Snowmen is ruined by one thing and that’s the characters. Good fucking God are they horrendous!
Let’s start with the Doctor. After losing Amy and Rory, he has decided that he doesn’t want to travel or help people anymore and is now living above England on a cloud as a lonely old miser.
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Fuck off! Not in this universe nor in any other universe would this EVER happen!
You may recall a couple of years ago when I reviewed the RTD era that I really didn’t like the Doctor’s reaction when he lost Rose. it just felt too human and it didn’t really gel with his character. He’s lost companions before. He mourns, but he moves on. Why would Rose be any different? But credit where it’s due, at least the Doctor kept travelling through time and space rather than stay in once place and sulk because RTD knew that that at least is something the Doctor would definitely never do. Here... I mean you can’t even use the excuse that the Doctor was in love with Amy. I’m not saying he wouldn’t be emotionally affected by what happened. I’m just questioning why he would be this emotionally affected to the point where he would actually refuse to help people in need. It just feels totally out of character.
Plus it really does display just how arrogant Moffat is. Of course it would be his characters that caused the Doctor to sink into a deep depression and only his character can bring him out of it. And of course his characters are what inspired the creation of Sherlock Holmes, which he will later adapt in his god awful Sherlock TV show. Christ Moffat, I hope you’ve got plenty of tissues to clean the mess up with after you’ve finished wanking yourself.
Matt Smith doesn’t help matters. His turn as a reclusive miser just isn’t in the least bit convincing, but at least it’s preferable to when he magically makes a full recovery and reverts back to his obnoxious goofy self. This is the Doctor now everyone. A man who has arguments with his own hand and sexually molests Punch and Judy dolls. (Sigh. Only 11 episodes to go Quill. Just hang on).
We also see the return of the Paternoster Gang. A group of one dimensional, unfunny cardboard cutouts that people really seem to like for some reason. Strax is by far the worst, with each bad joke and moment of incompetence driving another nail into the coffin of the Sontarans forever. (But wait, isn’t Strax supposed to be dead? Ah fuck it! Everybody knows death is only a minor inconvenience in the Moffat era. Who cares if it ruins the impact of future deaths or that it completely contradicts Sontaran lore. Just laugh at the Doctor calling him a potato, something the Doctor would also never do because I’m sure that’s racist to Sontarans). And Vastra and Jenny have the same problems as every other Moffat woman in that they have no character or agency of their own. They exist solely to help the Doctor. Also Jenny is in a dominatrix outfit for some reason, and they openly talk about being gay. Two things that would definitely have caused shock and outrage in the rigid and repressed Victorian era.
Actually that’s one thing that really pisses me off about New Who and this episode in particular. None of it is true to the period. Clara is completely contemporary in both her outlook and behaviour, and everything unsavoury about the period is dismissed with the Doctor’s sneer of ‘Victorian values.’ Yes this is the Victorian era, but it’s the Victorian era you’d find on the front of a Christmas card. It’s very easy to just sneer at a period of history and congratulate ourselves for how much better we are today, but why not actually explore the era properly? What’s that saying? The past is like another country? Let the audience see that. Why not have Clara behave like a woman during the Victorian era would and have the Doctor come in to challenge that? Have the episode be a clash of different attitudes and values.
Speaking of Clara, she is by far the worst thing about this episode. I honestly didn’t think it could get any worse than Oswin in Asylum Of The Daleks, but boy was I wrong. She is just insufferable. She’s really smug and smarmy and not in the least bit likeable or believable. She’s like River Song, but 10x worse. Also it doesn’t help that Jenna Coleman decides to give Clara this really bad ‘gor blimey guvner! Strike a light! Up the apples an’ pears’ Cockney accent. (Brief side note, why was she keeping the whole nanny thing secret?). I’m certainly not buying her supposed special connection with the Doctor. That’s another thing Moffat is guilty of. He’s so shit at writing female characters that he can’t effectively convey whey they might be so unique in their actions or behaviour, so he has to just flat out tell the audience instead. Well I’m sorry, but that shit just won’t fly. What reason does Clara have for chasing the Doctor’s cab? What reason does the Doctor have for being impressed with Clara despite the fact she’s done nothing remotely noteworthy? What reason does Clara have for snogging the Doctor’s face off despite the two sharing no romantic chemistry whatsoever? Answer: the script said so. Maybe if Moffat spent less time writing stupid scenes like the ‘respond with one word’ interrogation and more time actually developing her character, I might have actually given a shit when she died. (I mean for fuck’s sake, talk about disappearing up your own arse. How the fuck would Clara have known the word ‘Pond’ would have passed the one word test? How does ‘Pond’ convey she needs the Doctor’s help? What is even the fucking point of the one word test other than as a pathetic attempt for Moffat to try and look deep and intelligent as opposed to a pretentious halfwit? God, he’s such a shit writer).
Worse still, despite the fact Moffat had insisted that Series 7 won’t contain a series arc, it turns out Clara constantly dying is going to be a series arc now. So it looks like we’re going to be stuck with this ungodly annoying woman for quite a considerable time. Bugger!
While The Snowmen is considerably less slushy than some of the previous Christmas specials, I unfortunately have to stick this in the bad category along with the likes of Voyage Of The Damned and The Doctor, The Widow, And The Wardrobe due to its terrible characterisation and Moffat’s pretentious, egocentric bullshit.
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365daysoflesbians · 8 years ago
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JUNE 4: Doctor Who’s Madame Vastra and Jenny Flint (2011)
Six years ago today, on June 4, 2011, the seventh episode of the sixth series of Doctor Who was broadcast on BBC One. What is so special about it, especially for those who are not familiar with the British Sci-Fi series? Well, this episode entitled “A Good Man Goes to War” introduced several new characters, including a lesbian inter-species couple: Madame Vastra and Jenny Flint.
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The Great Detective and her Companion, Madame Vastra and Jenny Flint. image from the BBC.
The British Sci-Fi series actually started in 1963, but LGBT characters only appeared with the renewal of the show in 2005, with River Song, Captain Jack Harkness, both omnisexual. The latest LGBT character is no other than the current official companion of the Doctor (which means that she is a regular character on the show, contrary to the others) Bill Potts. On that topic Steven Moffat (who is otherwise often accused of mysogyny on the show) declared:  “that is the minimum level of representation you should have on television,” deploring the fuss made by the media over actress Pearl Mackie revealing her character’s character’s sexual preferences. Doctor Who being a show watched by children, he explains that non-heterosexuality should not be pointed out and thereby identified by children viewers as ‘not normal’, or a ‘special case.’
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Now if Doctor Who could be explained in a few words… An extraterrestrial being, named the Doctor, who has a certain fondness for planet Earth and its sentient inhabitants, travels the universe through time and space in his ship, the TARDIS, shaped like a police box but bigger on the inside, usually accompanied by a human companion/assistant.
 Madame Vastra and Jenny Flint (played respectively by Neve McIntosh and Catrin Stewart) are secondary characters, but appear more than once in the series, always accompanied by the third member of their gang, Strax (a Sontaran warrior and nurse, the comic relief of the trio whose likeness to a potato is often pointed out).
 Madame Vastra is a female Silurian warrior, a humanoid reptilian species from prehistoric Earth, who chose to hibernate in caves under the ground when they thought a planet would collide with the Earth – turned out, it was the moon coming into orbit... She was awakened during the construction of an extension of the London Underground, and killed several workers in anger before the Doctor came to the rescue. She adapted to human life, joined Victorian London society – wearing black dress, accessorised with a black veil to hide her reptilian complexion from people who don’t know her. She even became a detective and consultant to Scotland Yard - she tracked down Jack the Ripper in 1888 for them (and ate him).
When Vastra took up residence at Paternoster Row, she saved a –human– woman, Jenny Flint from her attackers, and hired her as her maid. Jenny used to work in a match factory as a child, and was ostracised by her family due to “her preferences in companionship.” In the series she shows admirable skills with a sword, in hand-to-hand combat, and – though anachronistically for her – can hold her own with a blaster.
They became more than employer and employee, though they still (most of the time) keep up appearances in public. They even got married after their first appearance in “A Good Man Goes to War,” where they met Strax who becomes the butler of the household. While the trio is known as the Paternoster gang, the couple is often referred to as Madame Vastra and her human wife Jenny Flint in the show. 
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from the episode “The Snowmen”
Outside the scenes of action necessary to the plot, the interactions between Jenny and Vastra are usually quite flirty and humorous, both making light of them being from different species and teasingly calling each other ape and lizard.
The Paternoster gang appears in several episodes of Doctor Who taking place (at least partly) in Victorian London: “The Swowmen” (2012), “The Crimson Horror” (2013), “The Name of the Doctor” (2013) and “Deep Breath” (2014).
And moreover, I believe there are no major spoilers in this article of the couple, so if you happen to be interested in watching Doctor Who... 
Lise
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one-of-us-blog · 7 years ago
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Deep Breath (Doctor Who S08E01)
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Today Drew is forced to watch and recap “Deep Breath”, the first episode of Doctor Who’s eighth series. The Doctor has regenerated yet again, and the transition has been a bit rough. On top of this, a Tyrannosaurus Rex is stomping around Victorian London and there are robots running around stealing organs. Can the Doctor get himself together in time to figure out what’s going on and put a stop to it?
Keep reading to find out…
Eli, you did a fantastic job with your “Dancing in the Dark” recap! I have a real soft spot for Miles/Arnie, so I’m really glad that you’re at the point in the series where you’ll get to see him from time to time. I agree that Blanche was a lot of fun this time, but it’s pretty hard to watch Rose be so hard on herself. The next episode, “Not Another Monday”, is quite a bit heavier than this one, but I hope you’re able to enjoy it! For now, though, let’s get to business!
Buttocks tight!
Episode directed by Ben Wheatley and written by Steven Moffat
We start off on a shot of a Tyrannosaurus Rex, which doesn’t seem too unusual for this show, but then we get a shot of Parliament and realize this T Rex is in London. Specifically, we’re in Victorian London, and the Paternoster Gang is hot on the case. Vastra has seen dinosaurs before, but she has no clue what one is doing stomping around in the Thames. The dinosaur abruptly coughs up the TARDIS, and Vastra gives the local constabularies some special ‘lanterns’ which will keep the T Rex secured in the river instead of rampaging through London. Vastra has Strax knock on the TARDIS’ door, and the Twelfth Doctor, whom none of them have met yet, peeks out. The Doctor seems vaguely aware of who they are, but he seems pretty out of it. Clara emerges from the smoking TARDIS and tries to calm the confused Doctor down, but he thinks she’s Handles, his robot head friend. The Doctor passes out, and Clara explains to a confused Strax and Jenny that this is, in fact, the Doctor. Vastra seems to have some familiarity with this sort of post-regeneration confusion, but she doesn’t seem thrilled about dealing with it.
The Doctor is taken to Vastra’s house, where his confusion continues. Vastra uses a psychic link with him to knock him out, but then Clara starts asking how they’re going to fix him by turning him back into Matt Smith. Vastra is offended and leaves. Clara wonders about the Doctor’s face; why does he look so old when it’s brand new? Why has he got grey hair already? She has a lot of questions, and there aren’t a lot of answers to be found. The Doctor begins talking in his sleep, unconsciously translating the dinosaur’s roars. She feels alone, and the world she’s in now is strange for her. Down on the city streets, people consider the idea that the dinosaur is a hoax put on by the government. A man named Alfie is approached by a man with a face that’s half tick-tock clockwork machinery. The man tells Alfie he has nice eyes, and plans on taking them.
Back in Vastra’s house, Vastra is still giving Clara the cold shoulder. She doesn’t like that Clara isn’t accepting the Doctor as he is now, and figures out that it’s because the Doctor now looks so much older. She says he only made himself look young for the same reason she wears a veil out in public: to be accepted. Vastra says that by appearing as an old man to Clara the Doctor was putting a lot of trust in Clara and showing her the ancient being he actually is, and Vastra feels Clara doesn’t appreciate the gift of that trust. Upstairs, the Doctor gets a whiff of something and hops out of bed. He finds a piece of chalk and begins drawing all over the room. He looks into the room’s wardrobe, but nothing there captures his interest. He instead climbs out the window in his pajamas. Back downstairs, Clara tells off Vastra and insists that she never had any romantic interest in the Doctor because of what he looked like, and Vastra says the Doctor needs their help right now.
Speaking of, on a rooftop the Doctor calls to the dinosaur that he’ll make sure she’s safe and that he’ll get her home, but just then an unseen someone incinerates the Tyrannosaurus. The Doctor is horrified, and Vastra, Jenny and Clara all hear the dinosaur’s dying cries. The Doctor falls out of a tree and steals a horse (with the permission of the horse, of course) and he and the Paternoster Gang, who think the Doctor’s still asleep, all rush toward the Thames. The Doctor gets there first, and tearfully apologizes to the dead dinosaur for not keeping her safe. The Doctor lashes out as his friends when they arrive, and finally explains to them that they need to figure out if there have been any similar killings like this recently. A surprised Vastra realizes that there have been. The Doctor then notices the half-faced man from earlier, calmly walking away from the scene while everyone else gawks at the dead dino.
The Doctor suddenly jumps into the Thames, and Vastra says the only way they’ll see him again is if they get to the bottom of the mystery of the dinosaur. The next morning Strax has the TARDIS brought to the house, and Clara is caught up in the daily activities of the Paternoster Gang. Elsewhere, the Doctor is rummaging around in some garbage and comes across a mirror. He’s a little disturbed by his own face; he knows he’s seen it before, but he can’t remember where. He thinks he was trying to tell himself something when he picked this face, but he doesn’t know what. He spooks a local drunkard and almost steals the man’s coat, but then he remembers he noticed a newspaper while he was rummaging. He finds it again and reads a case about spontaneous combustion. Vastra and Jenny are discussing the same thing at home; there have been nine previous cases of spontaneous combustion. Vastra thinks burning the body might be a way to conceal whatever was missing from them.
Clara runs in and shows off an ad she found; it’s an ad requesting lunch with an impossible girl. Clara says it has to be from the Doctor, but the ad doesn’t say where they’re supposed to have lunch. Clara solves the riddle and figures out that she’s supposed to meet the Doctor at Mancini’s Family restaurant. She goes there and he arrives, smelling quite badly due to the coat he stole from that drunkard earlier. No, wait, to be fair, he traded his watch for the coat.  The two argue about who placed the ad in the newspaper before realizing that neither of them placed it. The Doctor realizes that all of the other patrons in the restaurant are facsimiles of people, and that he can Clara are the only real people here. He and Clara try to leave, but the fake patrons rise up to block their path. Clara and the Doctor return to their table, only to have a server come and scan them to see what their best organs are. The Doctor tears the guy’s face off to reveal another clockwork robot, and then he and Clara are dropped down a chute. The Doctor says they’re in an ancient spaceship that’s been buried for centuries.
They manage to escape from the restraints holding them in their booth and investigate the chamber. They see dormant robots lining the walls, and the robot with half a face from earlier sitting in the center of the room. The Doctor says that robots harvesting organs from humans for spare parts sounds familiar, but he can’t quite place it. He says these robots differ from regular cyborgs in a big way; they’re not organic beings turning themselves into machines, they’re machines turning themselves into organic beings one piece at a time. The half-faced man begins to wake up and Clara and the Doctor try to leave, but Clara gets stuck in the chamber and the Doctor leaves her behind. Clara holds her breath so she can blend in with the robots, and that works right up until she faints. She has some oxygen-deprived hallucinations of her time in the classroom when the children she teaches were especially horrible, then she wakes up back in the central chamber.
The half-faced man tries to intimidate her into telling her where the Doctor is, but she uses her time as a battle-hardened public school teacher to hold her ground. The half-faced man reveals that he and his squad were the ones to burn the dinosaur, because there was material in the T Rex’s optic nerve that they could use. Clara realizes that for them to know what they could get out of a dinosaur’s optic nerve must mean that they’ve come across dinosaurs before, and she begins to grasp how long these robots have been rebuilding themselves. The half-faced man says his people will reach the Promised Land, but Clara doesn’t know what that means. The Doctor reveals that he was right there, disguised as a robot, the whole time, and manages to rig the old spaceship to blow if the robots try anything. The Doctor thinks the robots invited them here with the ad in the paper, but it wasn’t the robots.
Clara activates her brooch and calls in the Paternoster Gang. Vastra says they’ve taken apart the restaurant upstairs and the coppers are on their way. The half-faced man says the robots are just gonna kill them all, then, and he’s going to escape in the ship’s escape capsule. The Doctor hitches a ride as he heads up to the restaurant, leaving Clara, Jenny, Vastra and Strax to fight the robots. The Doctor pours a drink for the half-faced man and shares some stuff he’s figured out. The robots were the crew of a ship from a time travelling ship in the 51st century that crashed in the past, and the half-faced man is trying to get back to his own time. They have to go the long way, though, so they’ve been sustaining themselves with organic bits and pieces for millions of years. The half-faced man launches the escape capsule, which is actually a hot air balloon made of human flesh. In the escape capsule the Doctor learns that the robots came from the SS Marie Antoinette, sister ship the SS Madame de Pompadour.
The Doctor says there’s more human than droid in this robot by this point, and tries to appeal to his humanity. He figures this robot is the control node, meaning that if he dies the others, which the B Team is currently fighting, will deactivate. The Doctor says there’s nothing left of the original robot left, and that he’s been traipsing through the world for too long, and that it has to end. Just as the robots are about to kill the B Team, the robots all deactivate as the control node falls to his death. This happens off screen, so there’s some ambiguity about whether the robot jumped to his death or if he allowed the Doctor to push him. The Paternoster Gang and Clara return home, but the Doctor and the TARDIS are gone. Clara contemplates living in the Victorian era, but, of course, a redesigned TARDIS arrives to pick her up.
Inside the TARDIS, the Doctor gets real. He says he’s lived a long time, and not all of that time has been good. He says he’s not Clara’s boyfriend, and Clara wasn’t the one who mistakenly thought he was. Clara wonders who put the ad in the newspaper, and the Doctor wonders who gave her his number. Clara says it was a woman in a shop, which means there’s some woman out there who’s very interested on the two of them being together. The Doctor takes Clara home, and she says she’s not sure who he is anymore. Her phone rings, and on the other end is the Eleventh Doctor. He’s calling from Trenzalore, from before he regenerated. He’s calling because he thinks the change he’s about to undergo is going to be a big one, and he knows Clara’s probably going to be freaked out. He says the man he’s about to become is going to be even more freaked out than she is, and he needs her help. Clara’s still struggling, and the Twelfth Doctor asks her to see him as the Doctor, not as a stranger. She thanks him for calling as his Eleventh self, and gives him a hug. The two head out for coffee.
The half-faced man wakes up and as greeted by a woman who introduces herself as Missy. She apologizes for how the Doctor, whom she refers to as her boyfriend, treated the robot. Missy says this is the Promised Land, and that the half-faced man is in Heaven.  
The End
~~~~~
I think this really worked as an introduction to this next version of the Doctor, and I’m still so excited to see where things go from here! I liked that Clara felt unsure of herself, because that made her work really well as an audience surrogate. We’re not sure how to feel about the Doctor, either, and it was nice to see that reflected in the show. I liked the callback to “The Girl in the Fireplace”, and felt the robots were an interesting foe. I really liked the design of the half-faced man, and especially liked seeing the gears in his head move as he was thinking. And, of course, I loved seeing my old Paternoster pals again!
I give “Deep Breath” QQQQ on the Five Q Scale.
Check back in Friday when Eli will get pretty heavy with the next episode of The Golden Girls, “Not Another Monday”, and then on Saturday I’ll drop off my recap of the next episode of Doctor Who, “Into the Dalek”.
Until then, thanks for reading, thanks for roaring and thanks for being One of Us!
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anotheruserwithnoname · 8 years ago
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Doctor Who spin-offs that might have succeeded
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I’m going to start this by repeating what I’ve said many times: I had high hopes for Class when it was announced in 2015. Any new spin-off is a cause for celebration and the fact it was going to fill the void left by Doctor Who taking a year off, all the better.
The end result was loved by many and hated by many, there’s no doubt. And while I disliked it enough to stop watching after a few episodes, I fully respect those who enjoyed it. I’ve written at length about why I didn’t like the show, and the creative mistakes that were made, and I’m not going to rehash them now as they’re irrelevant to this post.
Unfortunately, now that the first ratings for the BBC One rebroadcasts are in - and low - pretty much unless BBC Three has a very low threshold for renewal or the show becomes a surprise hit on BBC America this spring, it’s unlikely to continue past its first 8 episodes, though fans reportedly have started a change.org petition in support of the show. Hey, it worked for Star Trek TOS, Jericho and fan outcry also allegedly stopped Michael Grade from cancelling DW outright in 1985, so I’m not going to pooh-pooh the idea. Just as I respect the fans, I sympathize with them too. I’d hate to see Doctor Who itself pull awful ratings and be faced with cancellation and I would have felt the same with Sarah Jane Adventures and Torchwood, too (I never saw K9).
One thing I think doomed Class from the start - and this is fully independent of its quality - is that it was pretty much a spinoff no one was really asking for, nor expecting. Of course just because a show starts out of nowhere with a cast of all-new characters doesn’t mean it can’t be viable (look at the CSI and Law & Order spin-offs, or for that matter Star Trek: The Next Generation which started fully fresh except for McCoy’s cameo - and they even remade a TOS episode its second week), but when the overwhelming response I saw when Class was announced was, “Why?” (something I never heard with Star Trek), that’s not a good place to start with. And when it became clear there would be no “known” franchise characters appearing other than the Doctor’s cameo and Mr Armitage (who ultimately didn’t last long), I saw more than a few people voicing,”Why bother?”
There are plenty of ideas out there for a viable Doctor Who spin-off that might not attract the “Why?” response. After the break, I’ll give a few ideas. The image at top gives a clue to the first one, and it might not be what you expect.
(I’m just focusing on Moffat-created or Moffat-era concepts, not RTD’s. He gave us two popular spinoffs from his work, so he filled the quota.)
CLASS
“What? But you just said you hated Class. Why would Class top the list?”
Because I think Class was a good concept that would have succeeded had it (among other tweaks) featured at least one ongoing character who the audience already had some identification with. Courtney Woods had a recurring presence in Series 8 and even became a short-term companion (she travelled with the Doctor in the TARDIS at least twice - that qualifies her as a companion more than Liz Shaw based on some metrics). The Doctor also hinted at her intriguing future life as a President of the U.S. and she was destined to marry the discoverer of the Blinovitch Limitation Effect, a DW buzzword. By having Courtney as the identification point, we could have still had all the Ram and April and Charlie and Matteusz business, Miss Quill could have still done her thing. But there would have been a strong link that a building, a cameo by the Doctor and one minor character who gets offed almost immediately could not provide.
Plus imagine the emotional impact of the memorial wall sequence if Courtney - who knew Clara - was present.
THE CORSAIR
Just the little bit from The Doctor’s Wife, and some stuff Neil Gaiman wrote for one of the Brilliant Books, was enough for me to want more about this Time Lord. I hope Big Finish is considering doing a Corsair series. And if the show had worked out, there could have been some tremendous crossover potential. (Indeed, imagine if it wasn’t the General but the Corsair the Doctor had to deal with in Hell Bent? A fellow Time Lord who likely also loved and lost the way Twelve did with Clara ... and who the Doctor knows is destined to be used for spare parts. Oh the angst!)
RIVER SONG
This one’s pretty obvious. And Big Finish is already doing a series for audio as it is. Maybe her reappearance in the 2015 Christmas special might have been less of an ass-pull if we’d had a series or two of her (mis)adventures leading up.
MISSY
I think Missy works best in limited doses, but I can’t deny a Sherlock-formatted series with her would rock. In fact, if they want an “adults only” spin-off, can’t you imagine a show where they pull out all the stops and let Michelle Gomez run wild? It would make Deadpool look like The Care Bears Movie.
THE PATERNOSTER GANG
I don’t really need to explain this one as this one is quite often cited as a spin-off that should have been (given that every episode they’ve appeared in has felt like a “backdoor pilot”, especially “The Crimson Horror” that was so much like a pilot, it had people back in 2013 expecting a series announcement as part of the 50th anniversary). All three actors have said they were willing. Neve McIntosh didn’t seem to be too concerned about having to wear prosthetics all the time. As an added bonus, we might have been able to get a longer-term examination of the challenges faced by Vastra and Jenny being a married same sex couple in the Victorian era. There’s a haunting moment in the minisode Battle of Demons Run where Vastra says Jenny was cast out by her family because of her being gay. You tell me that wouldn’t have made for some pretty solid and relevant storytelling.
PSI AND SAIBRA
An augmented human with the ability to tap into computers. An augmented human with the ability to morph into anything or anyone. Sounds like the makings of a network action series right there.
UNIT
Just listen to Big Finish’s current audio drama series featuring Kate Stewart and Osgood and you can tell right away this thing needs to be a TV series. With the added bonus of a possible Jenna Coleman guest appearance if they ever decided to bring back Bonnie.
GALLIFREY
Two options: a series set on “modern” Gallifrey focusing on the General and Ohila and perhaps a new regeneration of Rassilon (played by Ian McShane, if you please); or an adaptation of the Big Finish West Wing-inspired audio drama series that starred Lalla Ward and Louise Jameson (preferably with them starring in the TV version as well).
TIME WAR: THE EIGHTH DOCTOR
Big Finish is already doing this, but ever since he popped in on Cass, people have wanted Paul McGann to come back to TV.
I could name more, but you get the picture (feel free to reblog with other candidates). Note I intentionally left out anything to deal with Clara Oswald and Ashildr as - unlike all the above teases - it was well established from the start that there would be no spin-offs or specials with the two characters given Jenna and Maisie’s busy schedules. And anyway, if Clara comes back it should be on Doctor Who.
My biggest concern is that the failure of Class will result in the BBC turning down other spin-off ideas - including John Barrowman’s proposed Torchwood revival. Time will tell if Chris Chibnall - who was responsible for the revival of UNIT, it must be said - comes up with characters worthy of spinoffs or, indeed, conceives of any new shows himself. And who knows, maybe Patrick Ness’ Class will live to fight another day.
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riversofmars · 4 years ago
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World Enough, And Time
Here it is! One year on from posting my first long DW fic, I'm incredibly excited to start another! I'll keep working on all the prompts as well but I need a big thing to sink my teeth into and I'm really excited about this. I've had a lot of requests about doing more River & 13 having children but I also wanted to do a suspenseful adventure... so why not do both? I won't give too much away but I really hope you'll like it! <3
Rating: General, will probably go up to Teen for mild threat etc
Word Count: 4.8k 
River Song is pregnant when she leaves the Doctor on Darillium, intent on investigating an emerging threat to the family they would soon have. Time and space get in the way and soon she finds herself having to entrust her newborn to Vastra and Jenny for safekeeping. While River sets off to the Library looking for clues, the Paternoster Gang reach out to the Doctor. Their message arrives far later than expected.
Chapter 1: After The Long Night
Darillium, 52nd Century
“You’re up early.“ The Doctor’s Scottish drawl was soft and affectionate as it pulled River Song out of her thoughts. She looked up from buttoning her blouse to find her husband entering their suite with breakfast on a tray. She smiled at the little routine that had snuck in over the past twenty-four years. Every morning the Doctor would bring her breakfast in bed; if you could call it morning. On Darillium, a night lasted twenty-four Earth-standard years so of course it wasn’t actually the morning as such, just the end of their sleep cycle. The Doctor always woke first, he slept far less than River, which he insisted was due to his Timelord physiology. River, however, knew there was more to it. Romance wasn’t the Doctor’s strong suit but this he was comfortable with, so she indulged him.
“Up bright and early, yes. Big day ahead.“ River answered cheerfully as she regarded herself in the mirror of her dresser: Just a touch of make up, some mascara and lipstick to apply and she would be combat ready. She could feel his eyes on her but she didn’t turn, she struggled enough without having to look in his puppy dog eyes.
“Going somewhere?“ The Doctor frowned, observing his wife more carefully. Lots of things pointed to something being off, but none more obvious than the gun holster and blaster pistole. She’d had the good grace of draping her jacket over it but he wasn’t fooled that easily. The Doctor glanced out of a window to find that day was about to break. The long night was over and his hearts grew heavy with the knowledge of what was to come. For so long he had pretended that this day wouldn’t come. It had been such an abstract concept, a point in their future that they needn’t worry about. Twenty-four years had flown by. If only they had more time. For the man who had been running all his life, decades of standing still had been the most welcome reprieve. He tried his best to swallow down his emotions as he watch her get up. He knew he couldn’t reveal the foreknowledge he had. He couldn’t change his wife’s future as he world be rewriting his own past, but for a moment, he seriously considered it.
“Nothing for you to worry about. I’ll be back in no time.“ River winked as she strapped her vortex manipulator to her wrist. She had considered borrowing her husband’s TARDIS but had come to the conclusion that she preferred her own means of time travel: less bulky. She didn’t like leaving him upset but there were things she had to do; and it wasn’t like she wasn’t going to come back. She thought it best for both of them if they didn’t make a big deal about it.
“Cup of coffee first?“ The Doctor tried his best to sound cheerful but his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. He knew this was how it ended, even if River did not. This would be the last time they would see each other.
“Tell you what, I’ll be sure to pop back in five minute’s time, then we can have a proper breakfast.“ River realise the Doctor had seen her gun so she didn't bother trying to hide it and instead made quite work of fastening the holster to herself. She was surprised that he didn’t comment. It had so often been cause for disagreement but now, he looked resigned to it. It almost gave her pause. “I will be back.“ She said, addressing his obvious discomfort with a reassuring smile.
“Of course you will.“ He forced a smile in return. “At least have a bite to eat. No good running around on an empty stomach and knowing you, there will be lost of running.“ He tried to make light of the situation, setting the tray down at last.
“To be honest, I’m not really hungry. Bit of an upset stomach.“ River pulled her coat on, the last item of clothing she required.
“The sunrise then. Let me have that at least. Come on, we’ve waited twenty-four years for it!“ He wouldn’t take no for an answer. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her along to the balcony. Countless nights they’d sat there and looked at the stars together. Now, first light snuck across the marble floor.
“If you insist.“ River couldn’t deny him this. He opened the double doors and lead her outside. The air was brisk but there was a sweetness to it as first sunbeams alleviated the long night, almost like the smell of spring flowers on Earth. The sky was a marvel of pink, orange and purple. A sunrise that would creep across the sky for years as the long day began. River couldn’t wait to come back. It wasn’t an empty promise, she fully intended on it. She didn’t care what the stories said. It was idle gossip that she didn’t care for: so what if this was the last night she spent with the Doctor? She intended to make it a lovely day, too. There were just a few things she had to deal with so she could rest easily. They had found happiness on Darillium and she was not prepared to let anything jeopardise that.
“So? What do you think?“ The Doctor’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts and he wrapped his arms around her as she stood at the railing, looking out across the barren world that had been their home for so long now. It wasn’t quite the same view as from the restaurant balcony but they could still make out the Singing Towers in the distance. A faint hum carried over to them. It was distinctly more sad than their song during the sunset.
“I love you.“ River grabbed on to his arms, holding them tightly across her stomach. It was the simplest truth of her life and there was nothing else to say. This wasn’t goodbye. She would be back as soon as she could and for the Doctor it would be no time at all. She took note of the space time coordinates on her vortex manipulator so she wouldn’t be late when she returned.
“I love you, too, River.“ He pressed a kiss to the back of her head, holding her close. River took a deep breath struggling for composure as the depth of the emotion in his voice took her off guard. He wasn’t exactly the romantic or overly emotional type, so she appreciated his words and their meaning all the more.
“Right then, don’t get all sentimental on me now. I’ll be back before you know it. And I’ll probably have worked up an appetite so don’t eat all the croissant again!“ River joked, trying her best not to let her husband’s emotional statement rattle her. She had every intention of returning and nothing would be able to keep her from finding him again. Till death do us apart - And she really meant it. They had wasted too much time slipping in and out of each other’s lives. They had a life together now and so much more to look forward to. She would be back as soon as she could; as soon as she had seen to their continued safety. She turned in his arms and stood on her tiptoes to press a soft, comforting kiss to his lips.
“Don’t be long.“ The Doctor took her face in his hands and kissed her forehead softly, though not quickly enough to stop River catching a glimpse of the deep sadness in his eyes.
“Wouldn’t dream of it.“ She tried her best to reassure him with another kiss but couldn’t bring herself to say anything else without chocking up. She hoped he already knew all the things she couldn’t say. “Won’t be a minute, Sweetie.“ She took a step back, out of his arms and engaged the vortex manipulator before he could change his mind about trying to stop her.  
——
London, Late 19th Century
“Ma’am?“
“Not now, Jenny, I am so close to seeing this pattern, there has to be something to it…“ Madame Vastra stepped back from the board she was currently pinning notes to. They were dealing with a very complicated case of jewellery theft all across London’s high society and the Silurian was sure she was close to cracking it. If anyone could, it was her, she was the Great Detective after all, and she worked hard to live up to the title.
“Ma’am it’s rather important.“ Jenny Flint interrupted, intent on getting her attention. “We have a visitor.“
“If it’s Inspector Abberline again, I will contact him as soon as I have news. That man is so terribly impatient.“ Vastra sighed with a dismissive wave. She didn’t take kindly to her work being interrupted.
“It’s not the Inspector, Ma’am. It is rather more important and … impossible … as that.“ Jenny insisted more firmly which made the lizard woman look around at last.
“Impossible, you say?“ She echoed, her interest peaked. The expression on her wife’s face made clear this matter required her urgent attention.
“Quite.“ Jenny confirmed and stepped aside.
Vastra had barely made it out of her study when she spotted a woman waiting in the entrance hall. Despite having her back turned to her, the lady of the house recognised her immediately. In her long life, she had ever only known one person who sported a head of hair as impressive as that.
“Professor Song.“ Vastra tried to keep surprise and disbelief from her voice but she couldn’t quite manage it. The last time they had seen River Song was when they had contacted her at the Library in aid of the Doctor. She had been dead a while then, her mind uploaded to the data core but without physical shape. Conscious but trapped. This River Song, however, insisted on looking so very much alive. Particularly when she turned around, revealing a small baby boy in her arms. She cradled him against her chest trying to sooth him. He was crying, the time jump had woken him up.
“Madame Vastra, I am ever so sorry to barge into your home like this, but I need your help and I know I can rely on the three of you.“ She glanced in between the two woman and then up to Strax who had just appeared on the landing, eager to see what the commotion was about.
“No offence, Professor, but you should be…“ Jenny started but Vastra quickly jumped in, shushing her.
“How can we be of service, Professor? Is this about the Doctor?“
“Somewhat. Not quite. He doesn’t know about this and he needn’t know just yet, I need him to be focused for what happens next.“ River answered vaguely. She had been determined to keep the Doctor blissfully unaware for her activities but she had taken far too long already. Now, things were getting to the point where she couldn’t keep him in the dark any longer. She needed his help but he couldn’t know about her visit here, not yet anyway.
When she had left Darillium, she had imagined things differently: What was meant to be a quick investigatory trip had turned into nine months of goose chases and dead ends. Her hopes of returning to Darillium and keeping the Doctor out of it had been dashed when she realised she would need his help. She swallowed the guilt about what else she had kept from him but she knew she couldn’t have take the chance of returning early and putting all of them in danger.  
“How long ago did you leave him?“ Vastra asked slowly, appraising their visitor. She appeared exhausted but insisted on compensating for it by carrying herself with assurance and purpose.
“About nine months of my time. Now please…“ River averted her eyes, avoiding the judgment she feared she’d find in Vastra’s expression. Instead she focused on the child in her arms, who started wailing again.
“And the child…“ Vastra prompted softly, sensing how the other woman was struggling.
“There is somewhere I have to go and I can’t take him.“ River shook her head to herself, feeling herself tear up. “It would be too dangerous but it’s something I have to do.“
“Is he…“ Vastra knew the answer to the question but she had to ask regardless to be sure of what they were dealing with.
“Yes.“ River took a deep breath and looked up to Vastra with a sad smile, touched by the deep sympathy in her eyes.
“And the Doctor doesn’t know?“ Jenny asked, stepping closer as well.
“Not yet.“ River shook her head, focusing on the baby again. It was painful beyond words. The past nine months had been tough. River considered herself a strong and independent woman but pregnancy and child birth was not something she had imagined having to do by herself.
“But why?“ Jenny asked reaching out to touch River’s arm, hoping to give some comfort that she seemed to badly need.
“He can’t know. Not until I’ve figured out who is after us.“ River shook her head to herself. “I’ve been investigating. Someone is looking for the Doctor, for me, and for…“ She took a deep breath trying to compose herself. “It’s hard to explain. There are so many layers to it, so much time… But I won’t let them endanger my family so… I need you to look after our son until I have got to the bottom of what is going on.“ She explained why she was here, as if it wasn’t obvious by now. “I have recorded everything I’ve found out so far in a file. It’s in the bag.“ She nodded towards a duffle bag of baby supplies that she had brought with her. “Please, you have no idea how hard this is…“ Uncharacteristically, River’s voice cracked and Jenny stepped forward quickly extending her hands. River kissed the top of her child’s head and passed him over. He cried and Jenny instinctively started rocking him, holding him close to her chest.
Vastra placed her hand on her wife’s back as she looked at the small child. He appeared human for all intents and purposes. Milky skin and dark curls, a couple of weeks old at the most.
“We will keep him safe.“ Vastra promised as she looked back to River who was welling up with tears.
“I know you will.“ She nodded struggling for composure. There was no-one she trusted more, expect perhaps her own parents, but they were beyond her reach. River pulled a piece of cloth from her coat. It was moss green with golden stitching on. She draped it across the baby’s chest which seemed to calm him a little. Jenny immediately recognised the prayer leaf Amy Pond had been given for her baby - River - at Demon’s Run. A lump formed in Jenny’s throat as she realised how history was repeating itself in a most cruel way. The little boy curled his tiny fingers around the silky fabric, holding on for comfort, and River smiled. “I will be back as soon as I can.“ She said and it wasn’t clear who she was talking to: Her friends, her child or herself.
“Can you at least tell us where you’re going?“ Vastra asked, needing to be sure their assumptions were correct.
“The Library.“ River answered, refocusing on the task ahead. She was confident she would find answers there. The expedition was a means of getting in but what she really needed was the data core.
“And what if you don’t come back?“ Strax pipped up, earning scolding glances from Vastra and Jenny. Even though they all had the same foreknowledge of events, they refrained from posing that painful question.
“I will.“ River said firmly, leaving no room for doubt, the tragic irony lost on her. “But if something happens…“ She couldn’t deny that maybe, they would need to get in contact with her. “I am meeting up with the Doctor. In case of emergency, there is a beacon in the bag. It will find the TARDIS, wherever it is.“ Always the pragmatist, River had prepared for that eventuality, even if she didn’t want to seriously consider it.
“Does he have a name?“ Jenny asked, trying to distract herself from the fact that the little boy in her arms was about to lose a parent.
“Not yet.“ River admitted reluctantly, though grateful for the change of subject. “I didn't want to make that decision without the Doctor… hopefully we will soon.“
“Best of luck, Professor.“ Vastra reached out and gave her hand a squeeze, overcome by deep sorrow at her friends fate that was turning out to be ever more tragic than she had ever realised. Her heart ached for her. “I promise we will look after him well.“ It was a most heartfelt promise. She didn’t know what sort of trouble was chasing the Doctor's family but she was prepared to lay down her life in aid of their dear friends. River nodded gratefully.
“Thank you for this.“ River managed a weak smile at the three of them. She bent down and kissed her son’s head one last time. “I love you, darling, be a good boy for them, they’d take good care of you.“ She whispered and stood, her vision blurred, unable to say anything else so she engaged her vortex manipulator.
“What do we do?“ Jenny was the first to break the heavy silence that followed. She could contain her emotions any longer, tears sprung to her eyes as she rocked the little boy who started to cry again, the moment his mother had departed.  
“We have to tread carefully not to interfere with the time streams. I don’t think the Professor was prepared for this eventuality.“ Vastra mused, trying to focus on the issue at hand so she wouldn’t be overcome herself.
“She didn’t even ask about him the last time we spoke.“ Jenny recalled.
“I have never known anyone as proficient at keeping secrets as Professor Song, particularly when there is a timeline to protect. She will know what she can and can’t say at any given time, we must trust in that.“ Vastra took a deep breath.
“So what now?“ Jenny held the baby close, whispering words of encouragement as he carried on crying, holding on to the prayer leaf for dear life.
“Now I shall see to it that the child is fed, give it here.“ Strax announced in his usual matter-of-factly tone.
“Strax, he’s just lost his mother, do you think you could be a bit more compassionate?“ Jenny snapped, affronted.
“Get this little guy settled in.“ Vastra reached out and stroked the boy’s head. “We shall give the Professor a few days. Never underestimate her or the Doctor. For all we know, she will either find a way of contacting him or manage to somehow, miraculously, escape herself. And then, they will know where to find us. We keep the child safe, as was asked of us.“ She explained receiving affirming nods from the others.
“It will give us a chance to devise a battle plan against whatever is coming for them.“ Strax stated and for once Vastra had to agree. With any luck, the Professor’s file would proof enlightening.
“And what if they don’t come, either of them?“ Jenny asked softly as the baby finally stopped crying and instead look up at them with big blue eyes.
“Then she’s left us the means of finding his father.“ Vastra said as she pulled River’s notes out of the duffle bag, alongside a small emergency transmitter.
——
Sheffield, 2021
The Doctor turned away from the door and made her way to the console. They had remained in their stupor for far too long after Graham and Ryan had left. With a deep breath she decided to refocus her energies on the future: New adventures. Freedom after nineteen years imprisonment. Answers to the questions that had been haunting her since the destruction of Gallifrey.
“So. Where do you want to go?“ The Doctor feigned enthusiasm as Yasmin Kahn joined her at the console.
“You’re the one that’s been locked up for years, you must have some idea of where you want to go.“ Yaz retorted with an encouraging smile. Neither one of them was particularly in the mood for an adventure - not after having said goodbye to their close friends - but if they didn’t set off soon, their sadness would overwhelm them.
“How about you decide?“ The Doctor looked to the central crystal, addressing the TARDIS. “You always have such strong opinions on where I oughtto be, how about now?“
As if on cue, the lights in the TARDIS turned a threatening red, alarms started blaring and the floor started shaking as the engines engaged.
“Okay, this is a bit more than I expected!“ The Doctor grabbed on to the console for dear life as they were thrown about. Wherever they were going, the TARDIS was in a hurry. The Doctor pulled herself along the console to where she could check where they were going.
“Doctor, what’s going on?“ Yaz yelled over the noise and the Doctor shook her head.
“I don’t know!“ She called back.
“Emergency beacon retrieval engaged.“ A robotic voice announced.
“Since when do we have emergency beacons?!“ The Doctor retorted dumbfounded. Only moments later, the TARDIS ground to a halt. The bumpy ride came to an abrupt end and the lighting normalised as if nothing had ever happened.
“Where are we?“ Tentatively, Yaz let go of the console and straightened herself up. If the Doctor couldn't explain how this had happened, perhaps she could at least oblige with the destination. The blonde didn’t answer straight away, she checked the readings, then rechecked them again.
“London, late eighteen-hundreds.“ She said at last, surprised at how pleasant and unthreatening an outcome it was, considering the rough and urgent travel.
“Love the Victorian times!“ Yaz’s expression brightened immediately. That was most certainly a time period she was interested in seeing.
“Let’s not get over excited, let’s find out why we’re here first. That was no ordinary jump.“ The Doctor cautioned her. She had never seen the TARDIS react with quite this level of urgency before and she knew she would be a fool to ignore it.
They made their way to the door and the Doctor stuck her head out for a look around.
“HA!“ She exclaimed sounding both excited and relieved. “12 Paternoster Row!“ She gestured to the familiar London townhouse as she stepped outside and Yaz followed her.
“I take it you know who lives here?“ Yaz concluded and the Doctor clapped her hands together, full of eager anticipation.
“It’s only the finest investigative trio of this time period!“ She announced making her way up to the front door. “Not to mention some of my best friends. They must have sent out a call!“ She knocked on the door and was surprised and unsettled when it gave way. It wasn’t locked, quite the contrary, the lock had been forced out of the frame.
“An emergency call…“ Yaz dropped her voice to a whisper as the Doctor pushed the door open further. Slowly, they advanced into the hallway and the Doctor held her hand out, barring Yaz’s way. The corridor was in ruins but it was no ordinary destruction. “Everything looks so… old…“ Yaz couldn’t think of a better way of putting it. The cabinets looked like they would fall apart at the smallest touch. The coats on the hangers by the door were flayed with moths having been at been at them. The stairs that lead up to the second floor seemed brittle and rotten. The Doctor didn’t answer as she mind was already racing at a hundred miles an hour. She could only think of one weapon that could cause this particular brand of destruction.
“Be very careful now, there might be more…“
“More what?“ Yaz asked anxiously, minding her step on the well worn floor.
“Traps…“ The Doctor used her sonic screwdriver to scan the way ahead.
They found Madame Vastra first, at the far end of the hall. Disregarding her own advice, the Doctor threw caution to the wind and rushed over to her. She quickly checked for vital signs as Yaz just stared at her. She had seen many things on her travels with the Doctor but a lizard woman in Victorian London came as a surprise.
“She’s breathing.“ The Doctor exclaimed, relieved. “She wouldn’t have taken the full blast. Plus, Silurians have a longer life span than humans. Grab me some water.“ She gestured to the kitchen which was in the adjourning room. It looked like Vastra had just stepped out of it as the explosion had taken place. Yaz obeyed and rushed to get water from the sink, the destruction hadn’t reached as far as that, everything looked the way Yaz would have imagined, based on all those period dramas her mum liked to watch.
Without much ado, the Doctor chucked the glass of water into the Silurian’s face and Vastra woke with a start. Instinctively she lashed out for the Doctor with her tongue who saw it coming and just about ducked the attack.
“Vastra, it’s okay!“ She held her hands up where her friend could see them.
“Who are you?“ Vastra looked around panicked, disoriented as she pushed herself up and scrambled away from the Doctor, trying to assess where the danger was coming from.
“Vastra, it’s me, calm down, you called me here.“ The Doctor tried to sooth her as she realised Vastra wouldn’t recognise her. She hadn’t seen this face of hers before. “I’m the Doctor.“
“You’re not the Doctor.“ It was an automatic knee-jerk reaction, as Vastra calmed down a little but couldn’t think through what she was saying.
“Yes, I am, I’ve regenerated.“ The Doctor insisted, moving a little closer and the detective inched back again. “You’re Vastra, the great detective of Paternoster Row, married to Jenny Flint. Friend to Commander Strax of Sontar. You and I, we are old friends. You stood with me in my darkest hour and saved my life more times than I care to admit, now please, let it be my turn, what happened here?“ She pleaded with her to understand and slowly, recognition dawned on Vastra’s face.
“Doctor…“ Her expression softened but her confusion remained: “What happened? I feel like I’ve aged a hundred years… where we attacked?“ She struggled to sit up properly.
“Yes you have and yes you were. Chronon mine, by the looks of it.“ The Doctor revealed as it was the only thing she knew that could cause this sort of damage. “You don’t remember anything else? Where are Jenny and Strax?“
“They would have been upstair with… Oh, Goddess, Doctor, I am so sorry.“ The realisation hit Vastra like a punch in the gut and left her struggling to breath.
“Yaz, stay with her, I’ll go look upstairs.“ Before either of them could protest, the Doctor jumped to her feet and returned to the hallway. She climbed the brittle stairs, hanging on to the railing tightly. The destruction hadn’t reached the upper level. It seemed as if it had just been a means of diversion, but to what end? A unsettling feeling of foreboding crept into her subconscious. There was only one species that was able to pack time into a bomb.
She tiptoed down the corridor. There wasn’t a sound so she couldn’t imagine whoever had attacked them was still around but she couldn’t be too careful. She engaged her sonic screwdriver again to scan the hallway ahead. No traps, no bombs, just two life signs, one human, one Sontaran. She breathed a sigh of relief and carried on to the room at the end of the hall. There, she found Jenny and Strax lying unconscious amongst signs of a struggle. The Doctor lingered in the doorway, her brow knotted into a frown, as she tried to make sense of the scene in front of her. In the centre of the room stood a cot that Jenny and Strax had seemingly tried to protect.  
“Doctor, wait…“ Vastra’s voice hardly registered as the Doctor walked further into the room. Despite Yaz’s help up the stairs, Vastra was not quick enough to stop her from finding what the Silurian feared she would. The Doctor spotted the familiar green cloth that lay abandoned in the empty cot and reached for it. “Doctor, I’m sorry…“ The Doctor turned the prayer leaf in her hand that carried her wife’s name. It was one of River’s most treasured possessions. What was it doing here in a baby’s cot?
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riversofmars · 4 years ago
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Oops forgot to post this on here last night when I updated lol. Hope you’re all happy with my choice of villain. And for those who don't know the Eleven/the Thirteen yet, you'll get to know them alongside the Paternoster gang as they're totally clueless themselves lol. So real hope you enjoy this next chapter, let's see where everyone is off to!
Chapter 8: Where We Started
Glasgow, 2021
Jack returned in no time at all, at least from the perspective of the team at Torchwood Two.
“You better be grateful, this took me all night and I’m starving!“ Jack announced after materialising in the centre of the room. He was crouching in between two dead bodies, holding on to a wrist each to pull them with him through the time vortex.
“Food is still warm.“ Mickey retorted and gave Jack a hand lifting the two men onto gurneys.
“What’s so significant about them?“ Ryan asked, stepping closer. There was no obvious cause of death. Both men were young, 20s, 30s maybe and looked healthy. There was no blood, no bullet holes…
“How did they die?“ Graham asked, noticing the same thing. “Who killed them?“
“We’re not quite sure on the who yet.“ One of the Osgoods answered, steppinganswered stepping up to the body on her right. She pulled a scanner from her lab coat pocket and ran it over the dead man’s chest.
“And not sure about theon the killing either.“ The other Osgood agreed as she stepped up to the other corps, mirroring her twin’s actions with a scanner of her own.
“Well, they are dead…“ Ryan couldn’t help but point out but by now he knew better than to judge a book by its cover.
“Yes, but we’re not entirely sure they meant to kill them…“ The second Osgood replied, frowning a little at the readings she was getting.
“What do you mean by that?“ Graham asked, looking around for answers. None of the others appeared surprised so he could only presume these were not the first two cases.
“These are not murders as such, we believe these are experiments gone wrong.“ Kate revealed and Ryan and Graham exchanged concerned glances.
“We’re just not sure to what end.“ Martha came to stand next to them.
“We’re not the first to notice.“ Kate carried on. It was time they filled them in properly. She had been worried about revealing too much back in Sheffield but they could talk freely now. “When dead bodies turn up, the police do tend to get involved.“
“That’s when people started disappearing from time, being erased.“ Jack concluded.
“For examining these murders?“ Ryan frowned, deeply concerned now.
“This is why we’re doing our best to keep off the radar.“ Gwen explained as they all gathered around now. “Someone is trying to cover this up and they’re using very advanced technology to do it. You can’t just erase people from time.“
“So far, whoever is behind this has not noticed our investigation.“ Kate stated, which wasn’t to say that they wouldn’t be found out eventually.  
“Or at least they have not found a way to erase us yet.“ Jack interjected, more grimly.
“Like I said previously, people who have had dealings with the Doctor, particularly those who have travelled with them, seem to be less affected.“ Kate continued to explain and one of the Osgoods added:
“By travelling in time, you become a temporal anomaly, a complex space time event. Much harder to erase than someone who has only existed in one time period.“
“I guess that makes sense…“ It didn’t make an awful lot of sense to Ryan but he chose to just accept it.
“Either way, we have to tread carefully. Someone is using humanity as guinea pigs.“ Kate crossed her arms in front of her chest.
“And we need to find out why.“ Jack nodded. “Now that we have two bodies, we might be able to do just that. And once we know what they want, we will stop them.“ His voice was full of determination.
“I will need a while to analyse.“ The Osgoods gave apologetic smiles, indicating they would like to be left in peace to do their work now.
“You best get some rest. We will have a lot of work to do soon.“ Kate smiled at Ryan and Graham who could hardly refuse the request. It had been a very long night already.
——
In orbit around the Library, 52nd Century
Paternoster Gang
“So this Thirteen person, is it possible they’re the one that took the child as well?“ Yaz asked, leaning onto the control desk as they digested the news. “They are a Time Lord, we found Time Lord technology at your house.“
“It would be an extraordinary coincidence if it wasn’t.“ Vastra agreed, she was pacing the room. Even though they had no idea what their motivations were, they had to assume the same person was behind both kidnappings. She knew nothing of the dealings either the Doctor or Professor Song had had with this particular Time Lord but she decided it didn't matter for the time being. What mattered was that they found River and her son. With any luck they were being taken to the same place. They could ask questions later.
“We need to find a way of following them.“ Jenny concluded, watching her wife pace. As much as they had hoped for a conversation with the Professor, for a chance to make their apologies and to promise to make amends, at least they had a trail to follow now.
“Did our sensors pick anything up on our approach? Any other ships in the vicinity? Someone heading away from the Library?“ Vastra asked, looking to Strax who started working the controls with military efficiency.
“We were too far out at the time. Nothing on long range sensors.“ Strax growled seemingly displeased with the efficiency of the scanners. “This wouldn’t have happened on a Sontaran warliner.“ He huffed.
“What about the Library? Do they not have any sensors or CCTV or something?“ Yaz asked as she thought back to her police training. If someone was kidnapped, looking for CCTV footage in the area would be the first step, surely.
“Excellent idea, Ms. Kahn!“ Vastra gave her a kind smile. “Mr. Maldovar, any suggestions as to how we might establish a more permanent link to the Library?“
“It’s a closed system, trying to keep out intruders, probably a defence mechanism…“ Dorium mused, putting his feelers out. What he lacked in physical mobility, he was making up for with technological know how.
“If not a video link, at least some means of data exchange?“ She gave him a kind smile. “I have every confidence in your abilities.“
“She means: see if you can hack the system.“ Jenny chuckled, recalling Dorium’s rather impressive work at Demon’s Run. It seemed as though all their expertise would be called upon at one point or another.
“I don’t suppose CAL would mind once she realises what you’re trying to do.“ Vastra carried on. “Perhaps if you started with a reassuring message for her. Would you maybe be able to get information about ships that approached or departed?“
“I shall certainly try.“ Dorium agreed, his tone gracious, but he hardly had to try at all. “Never mind, she’s ahead of us, she’s sending something across.“ Dorium looked up to the screen. “I believe we can extrapolate the course from this.“ A diagram appeared on screen, green dots outlining a route away from the planet.
“Bringing us around now.“ Strax announced as the computer worked out the course. “We shall hunt them down and shoot them out of the sky!“
“Not with Professor Song on board, we won’t.“ Vastra pointed out and Strax huffed displeased.
“Ready to jump into hyper speed.“ He grumbled in response.
“Hang on, CAL is sending some more data across.“ Dorium announced. “Just wait till… There we are, all done.“ He nodded and nearly fell out of his box doing so.
“What is it?“ Vastra asked as the ship jumped into faster-than-light travel and the stars blurred outside. They left the Library behind.  
“A file with everything the Library had to offer on the Thirteen and their previous incarnations, I’m sure that will make for exciting reading…“ Dorium almost sounded surprised.
“Clever girl!“ Jenny grinned.
“Perhaps we can learn who we are dealing with.“ Yaz felt a little better that they were all in the same boat. She wasn’t behind this time, they all had to start from scratch.
“Best to know your enemy.“ Strax grinned. “Give us the intel, head.“
——
The TARDIS
“Sorry, Doctor but I can’t take credit for that.“ The Master laughed at the look of surprise and disappointment on her face. She had hoped to get answers but there were none to be had.
“And you never will.“ It was a split second decision on the Doctor’s part as she pulled a gun from under the console.
She had always pretended she didn’t know where River had hidden her guns around the TARDIS but of course she did. She wasn’t quite sure why she had never stopped her doing it. Perhaps because she knew eventually, they would come in handy. River had borrowed the TARDIS plenty of times and if she ever got herself in a scrape, she didn’t want to leave her wife defenceless. While the TARDIS had redecorated since River had last been here, she had kept her guns where they belonged.
“Well, well, well Doctor.“ The Master smirked as she pointed the gun at him.
“Get out.“ She said.The weapon felt heavy and uncomfortable in her hand but that didn’t stop her. She couldn’t take the risk of the Master getting off Gallifrey. She had no way of knowing for sure whether he would be responsible for her son’s abduction in the future but she couldn’t take the risk. If it was the case, she would stop it here. She gestured to the door. “Now.“
“You’re not leaving me here.“ The Master laughed, shaking his head, he didn’t seem to be taking her seriously.
“Yes I am. You are not getting off this rock. You will never get the opportunity to hurt my family, ever.“ The Doctor retorted, her voice low and threatening.
“You won’t shoot me.“ The Master shrugged, taking a step closer, daring her to do just that.
“Yes I will.“ The Doctor snapped, taking proper aim.
“No you won’t. You didn’t last time and you won’t now, you’re weak.“ The spat, enjoying seeing her struggle with herself. Her kindness and reluctance to use force had always been her greatest weakness. “You think you can protect them when you can’t even find out who’s behind it all? You’re pathetic. Probably best if you don’t find your child, you’d be such a disappointment to them.“
A shot rang out and the Master staggered back. The Doctor was shocked herself but she tried her best to cover that moment of disbelief. She tightened the grip on the gun just in time for the Master to look up again.  
“Wow…“ He grinned, in a maniacal sort of way and pressed his hand to his arm. She had only grazed his shoulder. She was a terrible shot that lacked the strength of her convictions. Or at least she thought she did. Part of her couldn’t believe she had shot him at all and the other part couldn’t believe she had missed.
“The next one will be lethal.“ She threatened, squaring her jaw. She pointed to the door, hoping he would leave already and not put it to the test. In a way, leaving him on Gallifrey was just as bad as shooting him. Both were a death sentence, one just felt a lot easier than the other. Either way, she had to protect her family and if she was strong now, perhaps things would find a way of resolving themselves.
“No, it won’t.“ The Master laughed and before she could follow through on her threat, he darted forward. The Doctor felt the ground move under her feet but not because he knocked her over. He hadn’t gone for her, he had lunged for the controls.
“What have you done?“ The Doctor shouted and crashed against one of the crystalline arms in the control room. The gun was knocked from her hand and skidded off somewhere. The TARDIS was spinning, somersaulting, they were launching into the vortex.
“What have you done? You tried to kill me!“ The Master shot back and was knocked to the ground as well. The TARDIS was out of control.
“Oh because you’ve always been so restrained?!“ The Doctor snapped over the racket of them catapulting through the vortex, hitting energy fields, chronon clouds and any other kind of obstacle the vortex had to offer.
The Doctor pulled herself along the floor, towards the control panel. She had to stabilise them. Just for the moment, the Master was not her primary concern. She managed to grab hope of the console and pulled herself up, hitting the blue stabiliser button. The TARDIS stopped shaking, steadying itself and the Doctor let go a sigh of relief. She got to her feet properly and turned back to the Master who was clambering to his feet as well.
“That was really stupid and incredibly dangerous, we could have been torn apart.“ The Doctor snapped.
“I couldn’t let you leave me there. Better to be killed than return to that isolation.“ The Master huffed, slightly calmer than before. “Do you know what it was like, Doctor? Just you with your own thoughts? Not a living, breathing thing in sight?“ His tone was surprisingly genuine and there was a bitter edge to it.
“You’re not the only one who’s had a tough few decades.“ She retorted but was in no mood to fill him in on her prison sentence so she changed the subject quickly: “Can’t have been all that lonely, you told someone about the timeless child.“
“For the last time, Doctor, I didn’t tell anyone!“ He groaned in annoyance, tossing his arms in the air. He hissed as the movement sent a jolt of pain through his injured arm. “I killed everyone that could possibly have known.“
“Then it was you that told Dorium!“ The Doctor snapped.
“I already told you, I didn’t! When would I have done that?!“ The Master yelled.
“What then? Someone else just found out about the Timeless Child and happened to have taken an interest in my child?!“ The Doctor was trying to wrap her head around it. She only trusted the Master as far as she could throw them but she was beginning to doubt her previous assessment.
“Why would you think those two things are connected?“ The Master shook his head at her shortsightedness.
“What do you mean? Of course they’re connected!“ The Doctor shot back angrily.
“Because you have the word child in both sentences?“ He laughed, gesturing question marks into the air. “Come on, anyone could have taken your child with no other motive other than to get to you. And there are a lot of people who would love a way to get to you, not just me.“
“What do you mean by that?“ The Doctor frowned, taken aback. This was not something she had considered before.
“You have a lot of enemies, Doctor, have you never noticed? None as brilliant as me, obviously, but they’re out there.“ The Master chuckled, giving her a patronising look.
“Is that a hypothetical or do you actually know something?“ The Doctor pressed on. There had to be more there than he was letting on.
The Master shrugged.
“Because if you don’t and you claim to have nothing to do with it, I might as well take you back to Gallifrey.“ She stepped up to the console, intent on changing the course.
“Don’t.“ The Master grabbed her arm and pulled her away. “You know I have nothing to do with this and I don’t know where your child is.“
“You’re gonna have to give me more than that.“ The Doctor shook him off. “You know something… what did you do?“
“Alright… I may be guilty of a teensy little fibette…“ The Master smirked, clearly enjoying this. “Perhaps someone did hear about the timeless child… so maybe it is connected to the kidnapping of your child after all… though, I wonder how they would have found out about your son…“ He mused but was interrupted when the Doctor grabbed him by the collar of his coat.
“What did you do?“ She growled, fresh anger shooting through her.
“I just wanted to play… create a little chaos…“ The Master grinned.
“What did you do?“ She repeated pulling him closer.
“Every species has their black sheep don’t they… apart from you and me of course…“ He smirked.
“You didn’t…“ The Doctor’s eyes widened as she sensed where he was going with this. So close to him, she could almost see his memory of it in her own mind.
“What do you think would happen if you free all of Gallifrey’s bad boys and girls in one go? I couldn’t create all that destruction just by myself, could I.“ The expression in his eyes was nothing short of madness.
“And you think someone fled the planet before you destroyed everything?“ The Doctor carried on and he shrugged:
“Who knows, I didn’t keep count.“
——
Space, 52nd Century
“It’s not much… bits and pieces of his misadventures… this bit is interesting, it’s a footnote from the Book of the Revenants, you know the Doctor has her own volume.“ Dorium flicked through the data in his mind, keeping quiet for a moment as he focused.
“Yeah she’s mentioned that…“ Yaz couldn’t help but smile at the fond memory. What a carefree adventure that had been in comparison to what was happening now. She wondered how the Doctor was doing. She had no idea River had been taken as well… Perhaps they should try to contact her…
“As if their head wasn’t big enough…“ Vastra sighed. “What does it say?“
“It’s a brief description of their personalities, stops at twelve, sadly.“ Dorium revealed and he started to recite: “Originally a member of the High Council on Gallifrey, the One fell from grace and became one of Gallifrey’s most notorious criminals. Suffering from regenerative dissonance, the personalities of their regenerations remain within their consciousness. Following incarnations are known and distinguishable. The One: the archivist, often pedantic and knowledgeable on many Gallifreyan secrets.“
“So he could have known about the Timeless Child?“ Jenny jumped in, listening closely and her wife nodded in agreement. They had yet to find out what exactly that phrase was meant to mean. The Doctor hadn’t filled them in but somehow, that secret from Time Lord lore seemed to be at the centre of everything.
“Indeed…“ Vastra mumbled. “What else does it say?“
“Brief descriptions of the others, make them more distinguishable I suppose…“ Dorium continued: “The Two: The charmer, a charismatic liar and manipulator; and the Three: The Juvenile, childish and self-centred, prone to tantrums and violence.“
“Not unlike the Master then, makes sense you would confuse them.“ Yaz wondered if the Doctor just attracted a certain kind of mad man to face off against. Despite the seriousness of the situation, it was an amusing thought.
“The Four: The intellectual, a sophisticated and arrogant game-player. The Five: The joker, a funny, wise-cracking and confident trickster. The Six: The psychopath, extremely violent and unstable.“ Dorium carried on as the others listened intently.
“A man after my own heart.“ Strax grinned.
“The Seven: The scientist, clever and calculated with vast scientific knowledge.“ Dorium chose to ignore Strax’s comment and skipped to the next one.
“It sounds like he would have quite the arsenal of abilities at his disposal.“ Vastra mused, trying her best to commit the different personalities to her memory. There was no way of knowing if and when it would become useful. If their hunt was successful, they would soon find themselves face to face with this mysterious Time Lord.
“The Eight: The good man, who unlike his other selves strove to do good.“ Dorium raised his eyebrows, surprised. He checked the data entry twice, just to be sure.  
“Interesting…“ Vastra pursed her lips and Jenny added:
“People don’t have to be just good or just bad, there are two sides to everyone…“
“I’m beginning to see that…“ Yaz admitted, thinking back to the Doctor and the way she had been acting in Dorium’s bar. Her anger and fear had brought out the worst sides of her. She could only hope she was doing okay where she was now.
“The Nine: The kleptomaniac, driven by greed and prone to theft.“ Dorium continued reciting: “The Ten: The hypnotist, confident and able psychic.“
“Another useful ability…“ Vastra commented.
“The Eleven: The schemer, clever, patient and determined.“
“None of them particularly sound like a breeze to deal with…“ Jenny sighed.
“The Twelve: The matriarch, first female and last known regeneration. They are presumed dead.“ Dorium concluded at last.
“Imagine what that’s like, having all those personalities inside you.“ Yaz shook her head to herself. Anyone might go mad under those circumstances.
“I shall be glad to put them out of their misery.“ Strax announced, checking through his blaster rifle.
——
Unknown
“Wakey-wakey…“
River’s head was spinning. She was disoriented. The flood of sensation that came over her was painful in its intensity. She had a splitting headache. Her chest burned with every breath and she coughed. Light was blinding her, her eyes were refusing to adjust just yet. Her muscles were stiff and her joints ached, as if she was awakening from a long sleep.
That was when she realised she had corporal shape. She had a body. She tried to move but found her muscles wouldn’t cooperate, not just yet anyway. She was still getting used to breathing again.
“What…“ She tried to speak but she couldn’t produce sound yet. She felt utterly helpless but she was alive.  
“There we are, slowly coming to.“ The voice seemed very distant and her ears were only just getting used to processing sound again.
“A Time Lord’s body is a miracle. Even one that has spent all their regenerations.“ There was another voice but she couldn’t place it either. Her mind was still trying to catch up to where she was, how she had got here, what had happened last. The Library… had it all been a bad dream?
“She’s not a Time Lord.“ The first voice grew sharper and was beginning to sound more familiar as her senses began to normalise.
“Close enough.“ The second sounded female.
“What’s taking so long?“ There was the first voice again but changed. “Patience, Three.“ River knew that she knew this person but her brain wasn’t at full capacity yet. She blinked against the light. If only she could make something out. She was slowly adjusting. “You did a good job keeping her body intact.“
“The machine will restore her, it might take a while but she will be herself soon enough.“ River knew she had heard the female voice before, too.
“I hope so, I do like them with a bit of bite.“ The Thirteen. The memories were coming back to River now. She had been in the Library and someone had hacked into the system. He must have taken her, brought her elsewhere, returned her to a body. How had he done it?
“No.“ River whispered, her voice horse as her vocal chords hadn’t been used in a long time. It was like she had to learn how to use her body all over again. That was when she realised how she knew the second voice, a voice that still haunted her nightmares.
“Hello Melody.“ Madame Kovarian smirked, leaning over and into her field of vision.
“What are you…“ River tried to reach and push her away, she managed to raise her hands but collided with a glass case. She pressed her hands against it, she was in a glass tube of some kind. Or was it a coffin? She looked at her hands, pressed against the glass, finding her skin red and raw from the electrocution she had suffered while connecting herself to the Library core. She should have been dead. She had been dead. They had brought her body back to life and it was painful.
“Easy now, Melody, dear. A few days and your body will be good as new.“ Kovarian smirked. “Lucky really we got there in time but you were right, Time Lords take forever to properly die…“
“What are you planning on doing with me?“ River managed to turn her head and spotted the Thirteen standing behind Kovarian, watching with a content smirk on his face.
“All in good time, Professor, get your strength back now. It’s no fun beating you when you’re already down.“
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