#the pain of growing never stops | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tea-time-terrier · 22 days ago

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There's been a whole lot of growth (both painful, and less so) this year, but I am eternally grateful for this little sidekick and the joy she brings me.

I am wishing everyone a gentler 2025 <3

#big feelings #big accomplishments #big changes #the pain of growing never stops #prioritising joy is a skill I continue to work on #creating meaning instead of a void #happy new year #thank you cat for the photos <3 #turnpike

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s0fter-sin · 9 months ago

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vampire bats share mouthfuls of blood to other bats they’re close to if they weren’t able to feed and now i need old vampire!ghost sharing a bloody kiss with fledgling!soap, giving him mouthfuls of blood bc his fresh fangs are too sensitive to bite with

it’s been so long since he was turned that ghost’s forgotten the deep ache that comes with growing fangs and he almost worries when johnny goes to bite into the meal he’s brought him only to whimper and pull back; only the slightest pinpricks of a bite left in the man’s neck, barely enough to bring blood to the surface

it’s only when johnny whines and massages at his gums that ghost realises his oversight; crooning at his sweet mate in reassurance. he’s not upset that he couldn’t feed, at the unintentional rejection of his offering. he’ll make the pain stop

ghost pulls the man to his mouth and sinks in his fangs, sucking in a heavy mouthful and drops the now paralysed prey back to his feet; his throat steadily gushing with blood and spilling over his body

he cups johnny’s face, looking into his eyes, teary with pain and hunger, and purses his lips to carefully drip the blood into his mouth. the pain immediately vanishes from his eyes, replaced with pure bliss as he opens his mouth wide; curling his tongue to catch every drop. ghost presses his mouth to his in a hungry, blood-filled kiss; tongues twining together as they share the taste

johnny sucks the last of it from his lips and ghost guides him down to lap at the prey’s neck; licking up the blood he was too weak to draw himself. he’s ravenous with it, his whole face covered in red as he licks up the spill and suckles at ghost’s bite

ghost’s filled with an overwhelming pride at having provided for his mate in an even deeper way than just hunting for him. he spilled the blood johnny’s drinking; fed him in the most intimate way their kind knows and he’ll do it a hundred times over for his love

#pet peeve time i hate the vampire ‘licks a bite to stop it bleeding’ trope bc it biologically doesn’t make sense #if anything a vampire’s saliva would have an anticoagulant effect to /stop/ a bit from clotting so they can drink more #anyway back to bloody kisses lmao #thinking about the actual biological difference between humans and vampires and how much it would /hurt/ to grow a pair of fangs #like the human mouth isnt meant to have teeth that big or muscles strong enough to to support them #or the increased bite force they need #so not only are they growing new teeth theyre also growing bigger muscles and their mouths are having to adapt to them #that would cause so much pain #you ever grown in a wisdom tooth? it sucks and that nowhere near this level #on top of all that youre also starving and have an unquenchable need to feed #the intimacy of a sire feeding their fledgling from their own mouths #weaning them off their blood but still so dependent on them #and even after johnny can bite and feed on his own he still craves the closeness of being fed from ghosts mouth #and ghost never denies him #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #john soap mactavish #soap cod #save post #we’re a team. ghost team

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junebugtwin · 2 years ago

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im going to lose my mind

#she 'stops' like every one of these motherfuckers im going to scream #and she never changes #like she sort of does- because she grows more willing to throw herself against #monsters like the nine and endbringers but she never stops being the underdog in her own head #she can never win enough to forget the pain- not of 'losing' but of Being A Loser #getting squished beneath a boot is agonizing and humiliating #its a feeling you never forget and a spite than never unhooks its teeth #worm #parahumans #taylor hebert #skitter

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itspileofgoodthings · 1 month ago

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the boys I teach have been so unpleasant to me this week but the boys I used to teach have been really sweet and tbh it helps so much.

#the ones I teach can’t help it fully #(I mean they CAN and I have to hold them to that)#but also like. puberty the mire of adolescence the pain of growing up the horror of being 15 or 16 years old etc #but it’s still so gross and draining to interact with all the time: to feel like I am making no headway #disheartening to the max #so to have former students show back up —show appreciation and gratitude #is sooooo healing #and they do it in funny ways #two of them just stopped by my room and talked about their lives and their grandma’s very old house she lives in or their job at Burger King #and then another one wrote ‘I miss your class’ on the board. and then another one was like ‘hey you should teach AP next year’#(I would never) and he was like ‘please’ and it helps so much #because they were often toads when I taught them!#but the goodwill remains past the point and beyond their moods #and I am so constructed by nature and temperament to forget that #I only ever feel as good as my current class/experience with a student #so I need the bolstering effects of my past work #lol

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angelstrawbabie420 · 4 months ago

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in my quest to quell my pain ive only hurt myself worse. damned if i do damned if i dont.

#i need better coping mechanisms but it’s so easy to just turn to substances when you’ve never learned how to cope w your emotions #and physical pain. however a lot of it has been brought on by the substance abuse aka i did it to myself #so i probably deserve it #but i started with them in the first place to get rid of pain that was so overwhelming and constant #it feels like every time i do something to preserve myself im punished for it #and im so sick of it. i cant believe its gotten this bad #i drink to help the pain -> i get hungover and the pain is way worse -> i drink to stop that pain #and the worst part is it always works #realistically ive depended on substances for like a decade #i started drinking at 13 and fell into a rut of alcoholism at like 15/16 #my mom was going thru a phase of alcoholism and roped me into it so bad if be woken up by her bringing me a drink at 9 am #and we’d drink till she passed out and i had to walk her to bed and cook for everyone and do all the chores #it went on for months one summer #then it was weed and i smoked every day from like 18-22 #only thing thwt stopped me from drinking until i started again after both my parents died #i havent recovered since.#im still so traumatized and depressed that i looked for any method of relief #the dph phase was the worst. i think alc is even better than that lmfao it was horrible #once i got access to alc i stopped all that. wouldnt have if i hadnt had alc tho #it’s honestly been one addiction after the other for a decade #and my parents fueled so much of it #‘oh id rarher you drink under my eye than do it behind my back’#BRUH YOU WOULDNT LET ME GO ANYWHERE OR DO ANYTHING. HOW WOULD THWT HAVE HAPPENED #crazy how i was obsessed w drugs and shit by the time i was 10 and i remember thinking wow im gojna grow up to be an addict.#why am i so irreparably fucked up #idk whatever. like im not gonna drink abt it lmao.

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elkrisen · 2 days ago

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I think this year I have to stop putting stock in connection and feeling understood and be as selfish and driven as possible

#vin.text #I think the only person who is going help me is me. and most people who meet me have bad intentions #and I need to stop loving people.#genuinely #it never ends well for me and it always leaves them with some sort of lesson or growth #and it leaves me with genuinely nothing but pain. either help me or leave! I can’t tolerate helping people grow anymore #it’s such a waste of my time. I could be helping myself grow!

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snarky-does-art · 6 months ago

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‼️ATTENTION‼️

Werewolf Wednesday has been extended to all the time forever

#having fun thinking about how these werewolves would work #thinking it’ll be like a curse put on a family that acts like a genetic disorder #it skips generations and can only be passed on genetically. maybe the curse weakens and offspring become less wolf-y as the curse is passed #they need to eat insane amounts of calories to facilitate the constant changes to their bodies #the changes can also be very painful. like growing pains on steroids that never go away #mentally they’re not any different from your average person but that doesn’t stop the typical werewolf stereotypes being thrown around #leading to lycans being ostracized despite being no real threat #werewolf #digital art #oc

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hickeygender · 11 months ago

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you ever write up a combination of words you're really proud of at the time bc you think it's vivid but it's actually so atrocious that you remember it eight years later bc it's burned itself into your long-term memory? just me?

#i'm literally laughing my entire ass off rn. i can't believe i found this fic i wrote at 15 and orphaned when i came to my senses abt both #my complete inability and total aversion to writing first person as well as the fact that the english language should never have been #subjected to its words being done dirty like this 😭#also i straight up fucking LIED in the authors note??? i said i'd broken my knee as a kid which is categorically false. i fell down some #stairs and banged it up and it's a tiny bit weak ig but i didn't break it? all any teens born after y2k know is eat hot chip and lie...#still not over the first line... the flip flop bit i remembered but i'd COMPLETELY forgotten 'a shriek seeped out of my throat'. girl. what.#how does a shriek seep exactly? the world may never know...#and the use of 'groped' is also sending me 😭 AND 'crash bash whump thump' girlllll send help holy shit i can't stop coughing & laughing #the rest of the fic isn't quite this bad but it's very purple yet ineloquent and rough. it's a good reminder of how much i've improved and #honestly i'd rather read this utterly amature fic bc it's at least charming in its lack of skill rather than infuriating like some of my #oneshots that are still on my page bc they're more comprehensible but just bad enough to make me cringe. getting mad at this oneshot would #be like getting bad at a kid's stick figure drawing. like. it's just kinda cute to see someone starting out on their creative journey #my old sw oneshots on the other hand are like the awkward growing pains of puberty. you just can't help but wince at the reminder #this is okay to reblog btw bc it's objectively hilarious and i don't mind ppl finding humor in it #len speaks

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celiataysversion · 2 months ago

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so now I understand what it feels like when your surprise song gets played again

#it feels fucking ILLEGAL #it’s pain #like stop #never grow up #swifties #surprise songs #taylor swift #mashups #taylor alison swift #taylornation #the eras tour

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mako-ink · 6 months ago

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Life is so cruel I wish Leon were real so I could braid his hair

#leon dislyte #I miss my wife #I can’t explain to you all how painful it is to imagine all these cool stories/plots that surround or heavily focus on Leon in the-#dislyte universe but will probably never be canon bc of the sheer length and focus it has on Leon bc they’d never focus on him that much-#I think considering their roster is growing so much #I miss the early days of dislyte sometimes I was just a highschool senior and now I’m a college JUNIOR….#I will forever love Leon no one could ever make me stop loving leon dislyte…..

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caffeinatedopossum · 1 year ago

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I'm still grieving the dreams I lost due to my disability and I just added another one

#ones id already lost: wanting to hold any job at all. wanting to be a doctor. wanting to be a gymnast. wanting to play bass #wanting to be a therapist (maybe still possible? this is due to my inability to hold any job but im still hopeful i may be able to do this)#i wanted to go to school... i can still learn things of course but its harder and there's no community #i wanted to learn everything. everything about plants and animals and quantum mechanics and languages #everything about history and culture and sciences. but i can't. i mean that was never a realistic goal of course #but I cant get as close to it now as i wouldve if i was healthy #the one i recently added is discovering my fingers have deteriorated so much that playing keyboard is nearly impossible #thats been a lifelong dream of mine... even drawing hurts unless i draw with my finger. i cant hold a pencil without pain #like im figuring things out. working through accommodations and making new goals #but that grief is still there and the wound is still fresh and sometimes it just feels like its growing and it will never stop #i need too much that i cant have. I have so few options #i really dont know what kind of future there is for me if my pain and disability is already this bad in my 20s

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poignardeparlebeau · 7 months ago

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also truly think i cursed (good) myself by imposing a book buying ban bc an old professor is moving and she allowed a friend to pick through the books she didn't want and long story short i now have 27 well loved mostly film and literature academic books🥰

#i never stop winning. yes it was a a pain getting them back to athens from thessaloniki but soooo worth it #i really like the fact that im building a library of my own #growing up in a house full of books made me really want to also start building my future big library for when i move out #one brick (book) at the time #very grateful for my friend for letting me pick through the books #found a book abt eroticism and queerness in greek cinema i cannot wait to sink my teeth into #talks

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cherrychapati · 9 months ago

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wisdom tooth extraction u r my new enemy the entire left part of my mouth HURTS

#and i didn't even expect it i went to the dentist thinking i was clenching my jaw and that hed give me a jaw guard to chomp on in mu sleep #but nooooo #wisdom teeth too big jaw too small tooth growing sideways baby #the actusl extraction didnt hurt at all bc aneasthesia plus my dentist is the sweetest guy ever #but when the anesthetic wore off... hoo boi #i have never felt pain like this i wasnt even crying tears were pouring down my face and i couldnt stop them #c.txt #diary #personal

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mr-ladystardust · 1 year ago

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showing mikasa in her casket was the hardest thing for me. i was sobbing before that but it made it so much worse

#she grew to be an old lady and i just cant deal with that #the show started with her as a 10yr old and she fought a war at 19 but still got to grow old #AND THE SCENES OF HER CRYING #jesus fuck i care about mikasa so much i am in so much pain right now #she waa my gay awakening at 11 and i will never stop loving her #also its now 2.20am and i cant stop crying enough to sleep #bibliophile-bi #attack on titan

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anaalnathrakhs · 11 months ago

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uh oh i feel like i have a deeply maladaptative response to people knowing Literally Anything about me it's fine it's fine i'm handling it very well

#constantly daydreaming about throwing my phone in the river n leaving a nice note for my parents and fucking LEAVING #but like #if i just stop talking to my friends #then what's the point #do i make new friends? will i do the same shit to my new friends?#it feels like kind of a dick move to do that to people i like #and i DO like them #i like hanging out w them and just. i don't know. i feel like this freedom i dream of is something i could have in this life yknow.#i feel if i had balls i could just start living the life i want #it's not even like my parents are dicks or something they trust me and they've very understanding and loving #they wouldn't judge me for how i dress or be mad if i stay out late as long as i warn them #but i dont know. i dont know why i'm a massive fucking weirdo about it okay.#but i've caused them so much trouble already. i feel like i'm betraying them if i grow up.#i feel like i'm causing them too much worry no matter if i stray away from the nest or stay.#and i feel like a fucking monster for not loving them enough but i can't stand being near them anymore #it's too painful #i've never managed to completely hate them even when i was deep in depression and they handled it poorly #i'd get into a screaming match with my dad and an hour later we'd sing songs together in the car #but it's been so dull lately. it feels like im in a video game. picking prewritten dialogue and being fed prewritten answers.#and WHY does this happen. why can't i just have a normal relationship with people #why do i turn into an alien on his first day on earth whenever i start caring abt someone #why are we so fucking abnormal as a family that we never goddamn hang out #why am i such an empty husk of a person that i cannot for the life of me figure out something we could do together #i keep believing in this fantasm of one day changing everything in one fell swoop instead of growing up like a normal guy #because i know i'm a coward. i'm scared of other people seeing me fail.#i dont want to hurt my parents ever again and i dont want to settle for halfway freedom #so i repress hardcore things i want so that nobody not even me can decipher what it is #smth smth the enormity of my desire disgusts me #and of course it fails because im weakshit and cannot restrict anything ever #and i hurt them anyway

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deadrlngers · 1 year ago

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violante will be as edgy as to say that "by age seventeen, i cried all the tears i had" just bc she doesn't want to let it be known that she cried for 7 days straight after killing ruven

#rena.txt #it is fair to say she probably never cried again after that but whatever #she cut off most of her hair in the ugliest style also and tried to pluck out her eyes hoping that would stop the tears #her patron having to stick back together pieces of her like: can u stop doing this can u fucking GROW UP for a second #hm actually that part of the undying pact that goes 'partially indestructible by physical means' does that mean she might not die as easily #by things like getting stabbed and all bc i can picture her stabbing herself in full grief until blood almost chokes her #if you read until here sorry. it's bc she never learned how to healthy cope with strong negative emotions #gore tw #<idk just in case i have no idea how to tag these posts she's so out of a horror movie #smth smth shadowheart's 'you can tolerate a great deal of suffering so long as it has meaning' smth smth cleansing through pain smth smth

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