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bonktime · 4 years ago

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Take a Breath

Ezra (Prospect) x AFAB!reader Oneshot (no use of y/n)

Masterlist

Rated: Explicit

Summary: Your ship has crashed on a planet with low oxygen. With no other options you begin a tenuous partnership with a strange prospector in need of your help fixing his pod. He’s charming but dangerous and if he finds out the whole truth about you, you’ll probably end up dead. With trouble closing in from all sides, you navigate this new connection and hope you both survive in one piece.

Warnings: Swearing, descriptions of violence, blood and death, mentions of religion, sexual harassment (just a couple comments), me having no clue what asphyxiating is actually like, Two has a clear helmet for plot reasons, smut: unprotected PinV sex (there’s no STDs in space), cunnilingus, dom/sub elements, rough sex, size kink, choking (just a little), spitting, praise kink (this one surprised me), biting, a little dirty talk (it is Ezra) - let me know if I’ve missed anything!

Note: I was totally inspired to create this by @jura-moon ‘s fic Nostromo which lives in my head and without it, this never would have been written. I have used some of her story beats and ideas so absolute credit goes to her for that. This is sort of a fanfic of Nostromo in many ways 💘 I’d also like to throw thanks at @absurdthirst who reawakened my love of fics, @slater-baby who awoke something in me specifically, and especially to @danniburgh who not only deals with my damn near weekly requests for softness but who also got me to stop editing at 1am whilst drinking tequila. She did us all a favour, let’s be honest.

I hope everyone enjoys this behemoth. Don’t forget to reblog!

Wordcount: 22k

~~~~~~~~

It's not the worst planet to crash on.

The thought is so ridiculous you'd laugh if it wasn't for the blaring alarms and the screaming. Instead, you wrestle into the pilot’s seat and strap in. With the engine dead you'll have to manually time releasing the parachute. It's completely insane. Too early and the parachute burns, you crash into the ground and die. Too late and the parachute doesn't catch you, you crash into the ground and die. Provided you do survive you've at least got your suit on, oxygen tank attached, you'll be able to breath. The planet's oxygen is too low to survive for longer than two hours alone but it'll aid the tank and give you two days, three if you're careful, to get more. At least it isn't poisonous.

Thoughts all over the place you wonder where the other ship will fall. Hopefully close enough you can still make use of it. Hopefully they've got a good pilot.

You've been lucky this far, now all you can do is hope your luck holds. You break atmosphere flames blurring the view of the planet and then it's rushing to meet you. You start counting, watching it come closer, closer. You see the other ship careen away from you.

“Fuck!” Someone behind you shouts “Pull the damn lever are you trying to kill us all?!”

You ignore them, don't lose count. Ok

Three… two… one…

You close your eyes and pull.

You don't open your eyes.

No. For the first time in years. You pray.

⧫⧫⧫

Pain is the first thing you register, across your chest aches like, well, like you've just crashed a ship. The next is the smell, smoke, that can't be good, it's not entirely unpleasant though. Then the noise, someone's shouting in your ear telling you to get up, to move, they swear and leave you dangling upside down, still strapped into the pilots’ seat. Oh, that's why your chest hurts, ok, you think to yourself, you’re alive. You need to move. You need to open your eyes.

You do.

Lights are flashing, disorientating you more than your current position, blood rushing to your head. You reach up and press the release on the seat belt and drop to the floor, or maybe the ceiling, head first. Didn't think that one through you chastise yourself. The engine is on fire, filling the hull with smoke but your legs are numb so, seizing your pack where it’s fallen beside you, you crawl to the light you think is the door and to your relief, flop outside.

No one notices you. They're all looking away, throwers out and pointed into the dead trees you sit back against the ship still reeling from the crash, too slow to realise how absolutely fucked you are. They come out the trees fast, even with spears and blades, you watch as the crew falls one by one. You can't process what you're seeing, frozen in place. Blood splatters, coming down like rain around you. Too late your body reacts and you stumble to your feet and run.

You get out of sight and then you stop, panting. Every breath aches your chest.

Something's wrong. Something you're not seeing. Right before your eyes. What is it?!

It hits you, slowly like a wave, realisation and then panic. You reach up slowly and touch your head. Gloves come away wet and dark with your blood.

Your helmet is shattered.

You aren't sure if you're crying or blood is dripping into your eyes. You suspect the blood. Feeling numb you keep moving, one foot in front of the other vaguely glancing down at the dial on your arm. After the running you'll be unconscious in at best an hour and a half, dead a little after that.

The petrified forest seems to close in around you. It’s a stillness like you’ve never experienced. Trees tower above you, skeletal branches reaching up like fingers. The limbs cast dark shadows in the bright sun, crossing over the dry brush underfoot, hiding foot falls and branches to trip on.

You walk on.

⧫⧫⧫

15 minutes left.

You decide to find a place to sit, ideally somewhere with a view but you can't me picky. A fallen tree does the job and you pull off the remainder of your helmet. Trying not to think about your imminent demise you look up. The suns are low, three of them. It twinges in your chest that you'll never go home, never see that sky again. Left to rot alone, no one who knows your traditions to perform your rites. Not that you deserve them. If you're going to put the ring back on, now would be the time. Make penance, but you don't think you can. Perhaps the hundred years wait is what you deserve.

7 minutes left.

There's someone approaching. Silhouetted against the scorching red sky, the heat rising from the ground distorting them, making you wonder if you’re hallucinating. The only clue they’re real is the crunch of the ground beneath their feet, but even that seems to echo around you.

Hope is the thing with feathers and it just flaps a wing wearily in your chest. And then stutters. The sun glints off their pistol, a beautiful sparkle that dims your hope. You do what you're good at, grab your own and shoot first. His gun flies from his hand and you smile, at least your aim is true. It falls off your face as quickly as it appears though as you feel a barrel press into your skull.

Clever buggers divided and conquered.

You drop your thrower but whoever it is doesn't lower theirs. “A little creature all alone,” a low voice drawls, “No helmet? No breath? What will we do with you?”

Staring straight at the man in front as he picks up your pistol and glares at you, you respond. “If we are going to chat, can we do it wherever your pod is? I have quite a story but I'll be dead in…” you look down at your dial, the gun increases its pressure on your skull as you try to suppress the panic “In about 5 minutes” the man remains silent, his pistol staying pressed into your skull. Your mind races, trying to find a way to argue your survival and clutches at the one thing you have. “I chose not to kill your friend when I could have done. Can you at least hear me out?”

The man behind you clicks his tongue “Ok! Well, I'm certainly intrigued and I'm sure even my partner here can't disapprove of allowing you to argue your case.” The comment seems pointed like he'll definitely disagree but even as you see his mouth twist he stays silent. “On your feet creature I'm not inclined to lug you back myself.” Standing the man lowers the thrower into your back and gently pushes you forward.

Their pod is close but you're feeling dizzier by the second and don't even think to protest when, as soon as you're in and the doors shut, the man at your back ties your hands behind you.

Focusing on him as he moves in front of you and pulls off his helmet you notice he’s favouring one arm and despite his sharp brown eyes, he looks feverish and drained. Not paying it much thought, you breathe deeply feeling sharper but it only draws your attention back to the pain in your body. Kevva you're tired. The urge to lie down and rest is near overwhelming, but the one who talks is eyeing you coldly for weakness, you’re no use if you can’t even stand.

Still, you try to get your bearings. The pod is small and rectangular, they haven’t turned the lights on and the looming shadows seem to pull in the walls, making your saviours into giants, making you feel like you’re pledging your case to The Olympians. There’s a small bench with a couple chairs next to a tiny stove and sink, there’s only one cot up against the wall, opposite what could be a cupboard but your eyes can’t make it out in the dim light.

“Now then creature, it's not every day we come across such a little thing with no air on this breathless planet and certainly not one who can shoot so damn straight!” The chuckles “I am just fascinated to know how you got into this predicament.”

You nod thinking carefully about your words. “We were a prospecting crew,” that's definitely a lie, “I'm an engineer but I know how to dig.” Well that's true at least, “Our ship fell of orbit but I managed to deploy the chutes in time so we didn't die on impact but…” you close your eyes as the images of the blood flashes before you.

“Let me guess your theatrical entrance gathered a welcoming party?”

“Something like that, I didn't realise my helmet had broken right away, I managed to run… I think everyone else is dead.” In a way you hope they are, else you really are in trouble.

The man is grinning at you, showing his teeth but the calculating gaze doesn’t falter “An engineer I'll be damned! And you can dig too? This is my lucky day. We happen to be in need of an engineer. See, our little pod has seen some better days and now it is unwilling to fly. Say, if you can fix it up and help us dig a smidgen, save us some time, we'll give you a lift out when the time comes? Quid pro quo”

An unwanted thought strikes you, settling deep in your stomach like a stone. “That sounds like a great deal but I won't be able to help you, not unless you supply me with a helmet.”

With that the other man seems to reach the end of his patience. And he moves gesturing at the talker.

“Now then, it just doesn't seem right to let such a pretty little thing suffocate on this rock... Well, I can't argue with that I suppose… I do apologise, little creature, I find myself, however unwittingly, agreeing with my partner. If you can’t help us then I can find no reasonable excuse to waste our resources on you. Looks like the deals off” he sighs “This is disappointing, I had such high hopes for our association.” With a shrug he pats your shoulder in sympathy that doesn’t meet his eyes. You shouldn't have hoped, your lucks all spent.

You take a deep breath, mind racing to find a way to survive, “Untie my hands at least, I'd appreciate some dignity as I walk to meet my maker.” You glance at your pack on the floor, you won’t need it now.

He pauses for a second, seeming to size you up before nodding and turning you around to face the door. In the reflection of the glass, you see the profile of his sharp features as he looks back, “Now then two, surely you can do the creature the quick the justice of a shot rather than a slow suffocation… Right good.” He cuts your hands loose and instantly the other man is there pressing his thrower into your back. You walk together, back into the waste.

There's only one way you're getting out of this so you close your eyes for a second and pause. He shoves you, lifting his gun to the back of your head. You take a breath and act.

Bending forwards and shoving your elbow up into his arm so the shot goes over your head, you spin knocking the gun aside and grab the small switchblade concealed in your pocket. He should have searched you. You don't hesitate as you stab him in the heart, following him to the ground and wrenching his helmet off. You close your eyes as the light leaves his.

Shaking off the nausea clamouring at you, you pull out the blade blanching as it sprays blood across you. You wipe it clean before stowing it away and then swipe a hand across your face, there’s no way to tell whether the deep red that rubs off on your hand is his or yours, or someone else’s. Feelin around in your pockets for a coin, you suppose the least you can do is pay his boatman so you place the coin under his tongue. You don’t pray. The dead don’t need it.

Ezra watches as you perform this strange ritual, he had to admit that he's captivated. Perhaps his wound has rotted so much he's delirious, finally driven mad by the toxins. Perhaps that was why he agreed to free your hands, why he didn’t check you for a blade. He considers you as he watches, so determined to stay alive.

You pull off the man's suit grateful he's small, even if it'll still swamp you, and grab his helmet. Stripping your own suit quickly you ignore the bandages on your forearm and pull his on. The fit isn't bad, it still seals around your wrists and ankles but it’s loose at your neck. You've got 12 minutes before you pass out unless you fix the hole your own knife made and get a tank of oxygen.

You look at the pod, the other man is watching you. Brown eyes piercing yours as if looking into your soul. It's him or nothing. You've got to try.

You approach the pod carrying your suit. Looking through the glass in the door and you gesture a setting for your radio, there’s a click followed by his harsh breathing.

“That was not especially kind, little creature. I certainly underestimated your ferociousness”

You shrug, “It was him or me.”

“What makes your existence so exponentially more important than his d’you think?”

You frown, “I didn't decide that it did, the powers that be choose. I did bring a knife to a gunfight” He smiles slightly and lets out a little chuckle.

Ezra watches you carefully, you look so tired, so small as you lean against the door of the pod his feverish brain seems to be attempting to soften a long-hardened heart. Still, he's not an idiot. “I'm afraid letting you in may be a detriment to my state of being, creature, you are indeed viscous and I'm not inclined to trust someone that murdered my acquaintance with so little hesitation.” He watches your eyes closed and for a second you look so hopeless but when they open, they've hardened.

“I could simply pull apart your pod from the outside, make sure you suffocate with me!” The last words come out in a shout of frustration. You bang your hand against the glass window of the door.

He glares at you, his voice low and menacing “I do not take lightly to threats, creature.”

This day’s too long, too hard, you've done too much. How many deaths? You realise that you can't kill someone for, sensibly, not letting you in. You laugh “I feel like the wolf at your door,” you sigh god your head hurts “There's no point!” you gesture, “Killing you would do nothing but damn me further I won't kill you out of spite. Fuck!” You glance and the dial on your arm,

6 minutes.

You turn away and sit, suit back against the door. It's as nice a spot as any. “I will choose to die here though I think, just as a reminder that you killed me when I fall through the next time you head out”

You chuckle at the macabre thought then turn off your radio and pull off the helmet.

3 minutes.

The final sun is setting, this really is Apollo's world and it is beautiful. The orange sky outlines the forest’s hands like an oil painting waving you off. Not a bad place to go at all.

2 minutes.

At least it's quiet.

1 minute.

Black spots are filling your vision, blurring out the beauty. Rude you think to yourself and you let out a delirious giggle.

The door behind you slides open and a strong hand grabs the back of the suite as you flop back, hauling you in, snagging the helmet and sealing the door. You don’t move, staring at the ceiling for a second breathing deeply.

Ezra drops heavily down onto the cot and watches you, you're quite something up close even covered in another's blood and your own, you're beautiful. He imagines this is what a witch would look like after a ritual, all blood and magic and secrets.

You open your eyes and peer up at him. “What changed your mind?”

He grins “Call it a reckless curiosity fuelled by this festering limb of mine.” He gestures to his arm.

It’s your turn to size him up, he seems to be looking worse by the minute and now slumped against the wall, you could probably just kill him and take what you need. Maybe you would if he hadn’t let you in. “Perhaps I can patch it up, I've got steady hands and too much experience with wounds from weapons” you struggle into a seated position with a grunt as pain flashes.

“You might as well have a gander, I'm afraid if left to my own devices I'll have to saw the thing off myself or else perish” He frowns down at his twitching fingers, “I do believe this may be my lowest point, little creature. I invite in trouble and then ask it for help? I have certainly had preferable days, for instance, when the ship I was presiding upon became infested with channel rats seems superior to today.”

You hum in reply not really paying attention as he continues to talk. Reaching for your pack, you pull out a pretty well stocked surgery kit. “I'll numb it as best I can but it's not much”

“Anything that alleviates this agony will be a blessing little creature” You raise an eyebrow at him in acknowledgment, clearly doubting it as you hand him a tablet which he swallows. He pulls off his shirt and you examine the wound trying not to stare at his strong arms and broad chest. It’s a couple days old and badly infected, you’ll have to get out the rot before you can think of sealing it.

“Lie back” you tell him

“Perhaps in another situation your choice of language would be quite desirable” he smirks at you, not succeeding in disguising the worry in his face.

You sigh at the comment “Scream all you need but don't move”

That makes him chuckle, “You're a siren luring me in to slay me, aren't you?” His jaw clenches as you start cutting away the rotted flesh. It is slow work, carefully taking as little pink away as possible. To his credit he doesn't move a muscle and you know it must be agony. He talks the entire time, telling the tale of how he got himself shot in such a long-winded way you can’t tell the truth from the fiction. It seems to give him distraction though, so you don’t ask if he’s lying. As you close the wound with foam, he smiles at you, softer than before.

“Names Ezra, by the way.” Then he passes out.

He’s rather strange you decide, but most prospectors are. You’ve got to be a bit odd to spend your days nearly isolated on hostile planets. Asleep he looks peaceful, none of the calculating gaze or darkness. That little patch of blonde is so distinctive, you find yourself almost hypnotised by his face. Frowning at yourself you move away and sit back against the other side of the pod facing the cot.

A few things left to do with him unconscious, you pull off the stolen suit and grab the patch gun from your pack, melting it closed. You pull it back on and holster your pistol. Sitting back, you take a pill from your med kit to ease the pain in your chest and let it pull you into sleep.

Unsurprisingly, you wake before him. You check he's alive then pack your stuff together. You're even, you suppose. He saved your life. You saved his (or at least his arm) and you'd rather not stay around to find out if, when less fevered, he decides to get more even with you for killing his partner. He did give you his name though and names are powerful things so you pull out your notebook and leave a note as you grab an oxygen tank.

You glance behind you as the door seals behind you but you don’t turn back. If you head towards the ship your crew had brought down yesterday, it should have an escape pod still on it. Hopefully you can fix it up if needs be. You follow your compass East.

⧫⧫⧫

Ezra wakes slowly, he hasn't slept so deeply in years, he feels comfortable if a little cold and slowly he opens his eyes. The previous day returns to him in a haze, a pretty face and bright eyes glaring through the door, a gesture to old gods, his arm…

He looks down and moves his fingers. It's good, remarkably so, still stiff and aching but whatever you’d given him seems to have hurried his healing. That stuffs expensive. Not the sort of thing a prospector would usually have and certainly not something they'd share. You were quite strange, he concludes, but fascinating. Why on earth would someone who could act so brutally for their own survival give him something so valuable? Sure, he let you in but you certainly hadn't needed to let him know you had such a thing in your possession. He supposed guilt over his partner, perhaps you were truly naïve or, bizarrely, you could have money. Which would create a more baffling question of just how you ended up here.

It doesn't occur to Ezra for a moment the other reason, until he looks around the pod to find you gone along with a portable oxygen canister leaving a bit of paper in its place. Things stolen hold less value.

The paper was clearly torn from a notebook on it, it simply said your name.

He curses pulling on his suit and following your tracks into the forest. The trail is light but visible, branches broken where you’d passed, dry brush crushed under your feet. He moves quickly, sure of his footing after spending so much time navigating the dead forest. He’s only travelled about a mile before he can hear you moving ahead.

⧫⧫⧫

You walk through the trees, one sun shining above you warming your bones. As you check your direction you pause. A twig snaps and you freeze listening carefully. There's another noise behind you and you spin tensing. You can't see anything or anyone as you peer around you, the forest is too dense.

A body crashes into you from behind flinging you into the ground, looping something around your neck. Your head ricochets off the inside of your helmet shaking your brain, opening the cut again but not breaking the glass. You try to lurch up but get nowhere so you roll into your back with them now beneath you but the cord around your neck holds you back. Choking, you catch your fingers in it so you can breathe and pull forwards, hard, rolling again and thrusting your helmet back into theirs, loosening their grip enough so you can pull the cord away, only for them to shove you head down into the ground.

The world is swimming now, wobbling around you as you try to get your body to listen to you. To get away. To fight back. Anything! But their weight on your back prevents you from moving. You try to look out of the corner of your eye to see your opponent but get nothing. It surprises you when a tear tracks down your face. You suppose you have been putting off the inevitable for days now, Kevva has called you back.

Whoever it is clicks on your radio and a familiar voice hisses, “You stupid fucking cunt, I'm bringing you to hell with-“ A shot rings out and the body slumps on top of you, you lift yourself up and shove it off sitting up on your haunches looking around for the shooter.

It's him, Ezra, gun still trained on you. He watches you halt, eyes wide.

“You took something of mine, and although usually I don't go out of my way to find trouble, which you little creature certainly are. I awoke to find myself abandoned and a little peeved to discover that you had liberated a couple of my possessions and shimmied out of part of our prior agreement.”

Your heads still spinning and with the blood trickling into your eye you find it immensely difficult to focus on what he is saying. “Prior agreement?”

“Yes indeed. You'll find you had affirmed in exchange for breath you would fix up my little ship so when the time comes, I may leave this barely liveable planet. I do not appreciate reneging”

You squeeze your eyes shut.

“On your feet creature,” he approaches, “I find myself growing impatient.” You stand and instantly stumble forward. He grabs onto your shoulder steadying you, his other hand darting out before you can relax and snagging your thrower from its holster. “I underestimated you once, I will not again. Now, your assailant seemed to know you, if I'm not mistaken, by the way they deemed to remark upon you. Pray tell me the tale?”

Looking at him you do feel a lot like prey. He's close, grip still firm on your shoulder and towering over you. A grin showing all his teeth like a wolf, all you would need is a red cloak and you’re dinner.

You glance down at the body and clench your jaw, it was Cora. Formally, a member of your crew, she had always distrusted you. Rightfully so, you think to yourself.

Steadying yourself you shrug off Ezra's grip, ignoring the gun still aimed at you and kneel down to pull off her helmet. Taking a coin from your pocket you place it under her tongue and look back up at him, the helmet still in your grasp. He's watching you curiously, seeming to be rolling words around in his mouth as if completely thrown by your behaviour.

“She was part of my crew, I was the engineer so the crash was my fault,” well that was definitely true.

Ezra chuckles darkly, “I'm not too sure I want you to repair my ship after all, creature. Your predilection for incident does appear wearisome.”

You tilt your head up at him, “See any other engineers around here?”

“I suppose you'll have to do, but I will be watching you mighty closely little bird, in case you decide to take flight again.” You frown at the new nickname but don't get a chance to argue as you both hear a horn a little way off. “Unfortunately, my shot appears to have alerted the ever-irritable locals to our location.” He grabs your arms and hauls you back to your feet pulling you along with him as he walks back the way you had come, Cora’s helmet still clasped in your hand. “Luckily the settlers are not quick on their feet, I must say.”

You can't think of a response, your head is still reeling and your feet feel like lead as you trudge after him, his hand gripping firmly onto your wrist.

You're grateful you hadn't travelled far when he tugs you into the pod. Closing the door and turning, Ezra finds you slumping down to sit on the floor ripping off your helmet and attempting to wipe the blood out of your eye. It feels a little voyeuristic as he watches you tug off the suit soaked with his partner's blood, revealing the black insulating vest and leggings beneath before flopping back eyes closed for a moment. You feel his stare and pointedly ignore it as you grab your own suit, abandoned the day before, and shimmy into it. Cora had the same suit and so her helmet will fit yours. You feel a little relief at no longer having to wear the blood of someone you'd killed, not to mention more secure in something that fits.

Glancing up at Ezra as you transfer your possessions between pockets yet again you see he's elected to tie his suit up around his waist revealing those damn arms again. He crouches down in front of you and gently grasps your chin to tilt your head up at him. “That's quite the cut you've got there little bird.”

He carefully watches your face but your head is still fuzzy so with no retort he moves away from you and picks up your med kit. He cleans your wound gently, wiping the dried blood off your face. As he does, you study him. Close up you can see the wrinkles around his eyes from when he smiles and the curved scar on his cheek. Fighting off the impulse to trace your fingers over it, you ask how he got it. He grins as he places a plaster on your head “Now that’s quite a story” but you don’t get to hear it yet, sounds outside means the settlers have found the pod.

“They'll leave provided they don't know we're here” He grumbles, tugging you into the cupboard running along the wall.

It’s slim but long inside, there are blankets on the floor, a lantern and a small stack of tattered books. “Do you sleep in a cupboard?” you have to ask but you do your best to keep the incredulity out of your tone.

“I'd rather you didn't insult my little burrow as a guest, there's only one cot in this pod and I lost the wager so I made do. I think you’ll find it’s rather cosy”

You nod, a little thrown by his change in attitude since being in the forest. As you both sit you watch his face in the golden light of the lamp. It makes him appear to glow, almost like a painting. He'd look almost relaxed if it wasn't for how his eyes were watching you carefully.

Ezra studies your features, if you hadn't been such a bringer of chaos, he'd think he'd made you up, that, or Kevva had reached into his head and plucked you out. You're just perfect, perhaps anything his own mind could come up with would have to come with chaos, there was no fun without it.

The quiet moment is disrupted by a bang on the side of the pod, you jump and Ezra tenses slightly but seems to be expecting it. “They're trying to frighten out anyone inside” he whispers, “If we stay quiet and hidden, we'll be just fine”

You nod and tilt your head back against the wall trying to block out the noise as Ezra reaches for the book at the top of his stack. You read the title ‘Perfume’, you haven't heard of it but judging by the battered pages and writing in the margins Ezra knows it intimately. He glances at you. “It is a tale of a man who gets so enraptured with the scent of a woman he endeavours to turn her essence into perfume.”

You hum in response “That sounds a little morbid.”

Reaching into your bag you pull out a similarly dog-eared copy of ‘The Power’ and do your best to ignore the man opposite you.

Ezra frowns at his book. It's not often a good read fails to pull him into its world but something about your presence has driven him to distraction. Instead, he closes the book and continues to study you, it's a nice change having a stranger in such close quarters. You're frowning at your book a little furrow in your brow he finds endearing. It's only then he notices you're shaking. He wonders if it's from the death of your friend, from the settlers’ insistent pounding on the side of the pod or from him. He supposes it's quite scary to be trapped in a small space with someone twice your size and he hasn't exactly been kind to you. Ezra frowns to himself, not that you've given him a reason to act kindly. You will be useful to each other but there's no point making friends on such rough terms.

You look up meeting his eye as he glowers at you and swiftly glance away, trying to take up as little space as possible.

“You said you came to prospect?” he murmurs to you. You look back at him, wide eyed, and nod. “Good, you can help me finish me dig, 60/40 split, since you so callously divested me of my partner.”

You nod “You ridded me of mine too. Looks like we're even again. Equal split.” He’s tempted to laugh at your boldness, negotiating with no leverage. He keeps his face stern, unwilling to let you know how much he is enjoying your spark.

“I don't think so.” he speaks lowly making you tense, “I will permit that without you my arm would be about as useful as stim gum is at staving off hunger. And at least to me my arm is equal to a partner.” He tilts his head at you, the light cutting plains across his skin, “Even so… we still aren't even. That’s twice I saved your troublesome arse. One could suggest you’re indebted to me.”

To his surprise you nod, even as your jaw clenches and he watches you swallow “I guess I'll have to make it up to you another way. Even split or I don’t dig” That breaks him, he can’t hold in his grin at your fearlessness. He strongly suspects you’ve had an abundance of practice getting what you're owed from characters more unscrupulous than himself. He frowns at that, even hardened prospectors treat him warily, there must be something else to you. He agrees though, more out of curiosity than necessity.

“Even split it is then.”

⧫⧫⧫

You both agree there's no point going out to dig with the settlers so close but after the noise has subsided Ezra looks you over and suggests you shower. You don't tell him what a gift that is but he sees how your eyes light up at the prospect of washing off the past days’ grime. He hands you a towel and as the water starts running, he distracts himself from picturing you naked by satisfying some of his inquisitiveness and going through your pack.

There's not much of interest. Your med kit, some protein bars, instant caf, ammunition but in the front pocket he finds an old ring. Round like a signet but instead of a family emblem it is simply a small coin, plated in gold. He studies it, it's roughly hewn, well-made but not particularly fine. He wonders if you stole this too, but it isn't flashy and everything else you've taken had been useful so he posits it is yours, but why don't you wear it? Frowning he puts it back as he spots a notebook, worn and well-loved but as he reaches for it the water shuts off and he leaves your pack, choosing to get nourishment for you both before you sleep.

You emerge dressed just in your leggings and vest, Ezra gestures to the seat noticing the bandage on your arm. “What did you do that your mystical little tablets cannot heal?”

You finger the material absentmindedly, “Oh it's an old wound I keep reopening, better to keep it covered to prevent infection.”

He peers at you clearly unconvinced but he doesn’t question you further, you avoid his eyes looking at the floor as he sticks some food in front of you. “Eat up little creature, we've hard work to do tomorrow and we'll need our energy.”

You take a mouthful before asking, “Where will we sleep?”

“Better we stay out of sight in case our hospitable friends return, so back into the burrow. And I'd rather keep you close in case you start to feel flighty again” You sigh but to his surprise don't argue, perhaps the settlers really did shake you.

Ezra returns to studying you as you both eat, without your suit on he can see the harsh bruises around your neck where your former friend had tried to strangle you but the gash through your eyebrow has stopped bleeding and fresh from the shower, you're quite the vision. It has been so long since he'd had another body to warm his bed and you look so soft and vulnerable without the suit and imminent danger, he finds himself picturing you under him, writhing, brow furrowed like before. His hands grabbing your arms, your hips, your neck- He shakes himself of the image. Your partnership is tenuous at best without bringing in the pleasures of the flesh and he doesn't really want to scare you off potentially leaving him alone and trapped on this world.

When you've eaten you head into Ezra's ‘burrow’ as he called it and settle opposite each other, legs stretched out in front, feet almost touching. Ezra is next to the door ensuring you can't leave without waking him but you're not inclined to try, you know your luck is running out. You're grateful he doesn't try to scare you into staying, instead curiously he picks up his book and looks at you.

“I propose an exchange, it appears we are both almost prepared to recite our beloved tomes cover to cover, so, would you acquiesce your book for mine?”

You shrug, “I wouldn't mind something new but I'm not sure how much you'd enjoy ‘The Power’ and I have nothing else.”

He smiles his eyes crinkling with amusement, “Well then, read me the blurb and let me decide for myself. It seems only I would know what I may delight in.”

“It's about how women become the dominant gender in the world, told by a man in the future where a male dominated society seems absurd.”

Ezra grins, “I am intrigued! It'll be a joy to discuss books with another person, a pleasure I can rarely partake in”

You smile back as you swap books. A tentative exchange that leaves you both a little hopeful for the progress of your partnership.

You both read in silence until you yawn twice in a row causing Ezra to yawn too and he suggests you turn in. Or you guess he does, his choice of language seems to baffle you here and there. He wrangles a blanket out from under you and you settle in, top to tail, his feet level with your chest and yours to below his hip. You didn't realise how the adrenaline of the day had worn you out and you're asleep in seconds.

You awake on your front, head nestled into your arm. It's pitch black and there's a weight on your ankle. Trying not to panic you wait for your eyes to adjust and peer over your shoulder to see what's grabbed you. It's Ezra.

Asleep on his back one hand on his stomach where the blankets had been shoved down and his under shirt had risen revealing a strip of tan skin glowing in the low light. You try not to focus on that. His other hand, by his side wrapping nearly all the way around your ankle. You wonder if he grabbed you awake to stop you trying to escape or if unconscious, he simply wanted to keep your warm body close, that idea makes you feel a little soft, this is easily the gentlest he's touched you apart from patching your head. You debate if you should shake him off but you don't want to wake him and his warm hand is anchoring so you just put your head back down on your arms and go back to sleep.

⧫⧫⧫

Ezra had his sleeping pattern nailed down, a necessary thing for a prospector, usually out cold for 7 hours so he's surprised when he startles awake. He doesn't usually dream. He grasps at the threads of images his mind had conjured committing them to memory. It was about you and it was enough to make him flush and now as he rouses himself, he gently detaches his hand from your ankle unsure about when he grabbed it. It's still early, he looks over you asleep on your stomach breathing slowly. He sighs adjusting himself in his pants if he can't get these images of his head, he's going to have an even more difficult time working with you than he already will. Desire is fickle like that he supposes, giving him a beautiful creature, he can't trust. One who is clearly concealing something and who certainly doesn't desire him in return. A beep tells him the suns are rising and you begin to stir

“Arise little bird, a day off struggle and fortune lays in wait.”

You grumble in return shuffling onto your back and sitting. Ezra tries not to stare as the blanket slips away revealing your body. To avoid further thoughts, he leaves his burrow taking his suit, subtly clutching it to his front so as not to alert you to his predicament, and heads for the shower to sort himself out, eternally grateful that the pod had connected to an underground lake making the water supply essentially infinite. Hopefully a brisk wash will clear his head and body of the lust.

You flop back and sigh. That damn blonde tuft and those sharp features were following you even into sleep. It had been far too long since you'd enjoyed another person and if it wasn't for the dilemma you were in, Ezra would be an easy yes. Broad and handsome and charming in a way that just spelled trouble, but your uneasy alliance, and your lies, and the fact that he could easily kill you make you especially wary of being vulnerable in the way you truly crave. Instead, you shake yourself, grab your pack, dig around for that terrible instant caf and leave the cupboard.

Ezra's shower was doing nothing for his erection. Feeling a little exasperated he grasps it harshly and tries not to picture you so vivid in his dream moaning around him. The water raining down on him acts as a lubricant as he harshly begins pumping his hand not wanting to take his time and fall into a fantasy of you. It doesn't work, he imagines how soft your hands would be, how wet you'd be, how he'd take you here up against the tiles. It's quick and dirty. He grunts, swears, then cums, the water washing the sin away leaving him panting and if anything, more frustrated than before.

You hear Ezra swear in the shower and wonder vaguely if he dropped something as you grab two mugs and start heating water for caf. The shower shuts off and you look round as he emerges with a towel wrapped around his waist. His eyes are dark and he looks furious so you turn away and try not to think about how the water droplets on his broad shoulders shimmer as he disappears back into the cupboard.

Seeing you there, making you both caf, dressed in your underclothes sparked a craving of domesticity within Ezra. For the briefest moment you weren't a reluctant partner on a hostile planet, instead you were a lover he could wrap his arms around from behind as you giggle and try to get breakfast and it aches.

When Ezra re-emerges, dressed with his hair sticking in all directions, you've put his caf on the small bench and are sitting waiting for him. He sits too and picks it up.

“There's only a couple months left in the dig” he says, “You up to it? I will be displeased if you slow us down”

You glare, so this is what he's worried about, “Don't worry I've had plenty of practice. If anything, I'd worry about your arm!”

He grins at you “No need to fret little creature, I managed to do my job with a hole in it and with your miraculous medication, it is only a little unyielding.” He carefully looks over your face, “Speaking of, I would appreciate you being candid in not only the precise location you acquired such a potion but why in Kevva you deigned see fit to give it to me?”

He watches you chew on your words, “I relieved them from a man who sought to take from me, and I gave them to you to even my debt. You saved my life if I didn't give you one, I wouldn't have been able to save your arm.”

What a strange little thing, he thinks, so worried about balance, “Did you happen to also relieve this man of his life?” You stare into your cup and don't answer “Well if he sought to take from you, I'll assume it was just.”

You sit in silence as Ezra smoothly changes the subject and grabs a bar for you, spinning quite the tale as you eat. Not stopping for breath as you pull on your suits, boots and helmets, only pointing you towards the equipment you need to grab before opening the door and leading you back into waste.

Ezra hadn't given you back your thrower which you supposed was fair although he had left you your blade which you're sure he remembered you carried. Perhaps a little act of faith to gain your trust? It didn't hurt.

As you approach the site Ezra looks back at you, “Stay close little creature we wouldn't want you to get lost.” His voice is low and threatening and sends a shiver down your spine that isn't entirely fear. You nod slowly and he grins, wolf-like just as before, as if outside you the pod he is an entirely different beast to reckon with.

“I'll get in the pit and do the heavy lifting, you can treat and polish on the surface, we'll go for as long as we've got light and head back. It's gonna be a long day little bird”

The dig comes as a relief, the repetitive labour clears your head and Ezra seems to be filled to the brim with stories and anecdotes, although, you don't think you're actually learning much about him. The way he talks is open yet totally guarded, as if he has the compulsion to speak but the sense not to trust you. You aren't offended, it's not like you're exactly opening up to him either. The day passes quickly like this and as the sun dips too low to see well Ezra hauls himself out of the pit, tells you to pack up and you both head back to the pod to eat and sleep. You wake with his hand around your ankle again.

⧫⧫⧫

A couple of days in, the suns seem to be burning even hotter than before. The dig is gruelling and you’re grateful Ezra so far, hadn’t let you into the pit. You aren’t sure you could bear it in this heat. By the time you finish and return to the pod, taking off your helmet is a relief. You feel hot and sticky and bone tired so you plop yourself down into the cot in the main room still in your suit. Ezra chuckles, “You must be out of practice, else you'd still find these long days easy.”

Ah, so he is bringing it up. You raise your head to look at him, “I still kept up with you, didn't I?”

“True, true, although I am not functioning at full capacity at the present time.” He gestures to his arm.

You flop back and gaze at the ceiling, “Or I just survived a crash from space a few days ago and I'm still a bit worn out.”

That makes him laugh. It's a big warm noise, that makes you giggle too at the absurdity of it all.

“Are you confident you wish to slumber there?”

“Why? You afraid I'm going to make another break for it?”

His grin is just a little softer now, “A little. But if I were you, I'd be more concerned about the neighbours might pop by.”

“Shit, alright” you sit up and instantly yawn.

“Let's get some food in you and turn in, little bird. If I'm not careful I'll have to carry you into my burrow.”

Smiling back, you mock him a little, “With your arm? I'm not sure you'd be capable.”

At that he grins and you realise you've given him a challenge he won't back down from. Stalking up to you like a cat he seizes you under the arms and hauls you against his chest making you huff and giggle as you try to wriggle free. He carries you across the pod like you weigh nothing and plonks you down on the little work bench. Hovering too close for just a moment too long, his breath ghosting your cheek.

“Now how about you keep your smart comments to yourself, lest I have to keep proving you wrong?” he smiles at you, letting you see the crow’s feet by his eyes.

“I'll admit defeat this time I suppose, but you really should go easy on that arm!”

Ezra turns away from you, his heart pounding a little and reluctant to leave your embrace. Instead, he ignores the feeling urging him to clasp you close and grabs your food. As you slide off the bench and into a seat, he hands you a bowl. Neither of you attempt to meet the other's eye and both of you fail to see the flushed face of your companion.

Once again sleep comes easy, the hard work making your body crave rest to heal but even so in the dark you wake. There's no rush of panic this time instead you feel warm and sleepy as you glance at Ezra at the other end of the cupboard. He's not grasping your ankle instead his side is pressed against yours, leg to leg. It's cosy and in your half-awake state you don't think about how you had gone to sleep separated, and who had sought out whom in the black.

The next day goes much the same, you bicker before you head out deciding who should be in the pit and who shouldn't. Ezra concedes that he'll do the treating of the gems today if you keep alternating so neither of you gets too worn out. You agree though you point out yet again that he needs to go easy on his arm and he points out your bruises and gash on the head as hypocrisy. It's an argument with no malice and it feels refreshing to have a go at someone without worrying they'll get angry and shoot you. Although perhaps you should be more concerned by how at ease you are. If he was to see the scar on your arm, you doubt he'd be so understanding.

As the day ends Ezra offers you his hand to pull you out of the pit, his touch lingering in yours for just a second too long.

⧫⧫⧫

Working like this you form a sort of routine. Up early, dig till you can't see, talk, eat, sleep, press together in the night. Ezra is starting to reveal little details about himself, where he was born, how he got into prospecting, his favourite books. In a way it makes you feel guilty for staying guarded, only relinquishing the barest details about yourself, but if he notices he doesn't point it out.

A month passes like this and as you watch Ezra hop into the pit you wonder vaguely if he'll ever run out of things to talk about. He describes an incident where an amateur prospector managed to get his arm stuck in the pit resulting in its brutal amputation but your attention fails as you wait for the next potential gem and you look into the trees behind you.

An uneasy feeling claws at you so trusting your gut you tell Ezra to shut up and get down out of sight just as someone emerges. No one you recognise, thank Kevva, and not a settler either. They are carrying a rifle though. Bowing your head to your work so they can't see your mouth move, you quickly describe what's happening.

“I can only see one, he's armed. A prospector. You stay quiet unless I shout.”

“Right then birdie. I await your call.”

You look up at the man staying on your knees and gesture your radio setting.

“What's someone like you doing out here all alone?” You repress a shudder at his tone.

“Same as you, I expect, making my way in the universe.” He comes closer and you fight the urge to back away but you don't want to draw attention to Ezra. “I don't have much to offer you and I don't take kindly to thieves.”

“Big talk from someone unarmed.” Wishing Ezra had given back your thrower, you stand and decide an attempt to bargain will be the best option.

“What do you want then, we can trade.”

“I'm not looking to trade anymore, I'm stuck here. My team's dead.” He levels his gun at you. “If you take me to your ship, I'll let you live for a price. Protest too much and I'll shoot and have my way while you bleed out.”

You gulp and stand starting to back away. Even with the element of surprise Ezra will have to act quick and be lucky if you both want to live. Why would he though, he doesn't have much motivation to risk his life for yours, he'll just have to hitch another ride. The man keeps moving towards you as you reach the edge of the pit, eyes not leaving your face and presses the gun to your chest. You glance down for a moment, hoping he doesn't look too, and see wide brown eyes and a miniscule nod.

At the same moment Ezra reaches up, you drop back into the pit and land heavily on your back, winded. He slices across your assailants achilles tendon and grabs onto his leg pulling him in after you. Frozen in place, you watch the tussle, for the first time properly witnessing how formidable of a foe Ezra can be. His size and strength easily overpower the other man as he rolls on top, throwing down heavy blows that fill the air with the soft thuds of impact, like a heartbeat. A yell is cut off with a gurgle as Ezra shoves his blade into the man’s neck repeatedly, using his weight to hold the man down until he stills.

There's a moment before he turns, he lowers his head trying hard to calm his harsh breathing and sighs. “I do apologise little bird,” he turns to you scowl in place, eyes dark. “For my brutality, I'd rather you didn't have to bear witness.”

His voice is low and he's watching you carefully as you sit up. You feel lost for words at how far he'd gone to defend you, you wonder how close he got to becoming the man dead in front of you. Alone and cruel. All you can do is nod in response.

Ezra curses himself at how quiet you've become. Moving the body out of the pit had taken time and once done, as he watched you place a coin in his mouth, he'd announced that to continue the dig today would be futile with adrenaline running so high and at your nod you had gathered the equipment and headed back to the pod. He watches you carefully as you pull off your suit and decides that the fact you didn't just sprint for the trees after what he did was a good sign. But you continue to surprise him.

“Thank you,” you say softly, “For not letting him…”

“Nonsense, without the pleasure of your company I don't doubt my humanity would soon become as weathered as his own.” He frowns, “It was rather like being visited by the ghost of Christmas yet to come.” You tilt your head not really sure what that means but he shrugs. “Don't fret about it.”

Then there's silence as you watch each other. Lost in thought as you make your meal and eat.

Ezra ponders on the panic he felt deep in his chest at the waver in your voice. He wonders when saving you switched from utilitarian need to something more. He knows how stupid it is to get attached, how reckless. But your bright eyes and determination to stay alive were admirable and captivating and he craves to know more, what makes you laugh, how well you'd take him. He sighs and attempts to brush the lust aside. Even if you weren't terrified of him, he just knew you were concealing something.

The silence stretches out, both unwilling to break it, as you head into the burrow. For the first time, you sleep next to each other.

⧫⧫⧫

Ezra is wrapped around you when you wake, safe and warm and comforting. You can feel his heartbeat against your back, its steady rhythm relaxing you before your brain starts whirring. Then you feel guilty, like you're taking advantage of him. He doesn't realise how much you enjoy him holding you close and you certainly don't deserve it. The weight of your lies heavy on your shoulders you ease out of his arms, careful not to wake him, and leave the sanctuary of the burrow.

A wonderful dream slips away from him as he stirs. His little bird's weight in his arms, grounding him, giving him something to protect. Looking round for you and finding you gone, he swears and stumbles to his feet. Kevva, he hoped you hadn't left him alone.

He almost sighs with relief when he leaves his burrow just to spot you sitting by the window watching the suns rise, notebook in hand and mug beside you. You look up, a little wary of his wide eyes but shrug. “I couldn't sleep.”

“Me neither little creature, my dreams are haunted.” He picks up your mug and takes a sip, with a grimace he says “Can you truly enjoy something so acrimonious?”

You chuckle, “Habit I guess.”

“Well, it's certainly rousing” he smiles at you “What are you scribbling there?”

“I had a look round the ship, it's all the repairs I need to do.” You hesitate, “If we swing by the other crashed ship for a couple parts, we can be gone in two days.”

Ezra's eyes darken just a little, his voice low, “You wouldn't be trying to wiggle out of our agreement now? The dig isn't done and I demand satisfaction.”

He watches your mouth twist, “It's just I think our luck's run, the longer we stay the more trouble we're going to get like yesterday.”

“That cannot be helped, little creature. I'd like to live well for a while, and so, the dig must be completed.” You think to that other ship, there's immeasurable wealth on it but you can't tell him. Then he'd know what you were. So instead, you nod and start preparing for the day.

The change in your attitude has Ezra feeling nervous. He realises if he doesn't show a little faith, you won't feel safe and he'll lose you, and possibly himself. Just before opening the door to the waste, he turns to you, “Here.”

He's holding your pistol out to you, frowning slightly, you peer up at him “What?”

“If something like yesterday happens again I'd rather you be able to look after yourself,” you nod and reach for it but he keeps it in his grip for a moment, “Don't get any ideas” his voice is low and dangerous eyes hard on you. You swallow and nod shoving it into your holster.

To your relief the dig is quiet and Ezra has returned to chatting away to you from his perch outside the pit and eventually you're able to chat back making him laugh as the day passes.

There's a change between you, him trusting you to be armed has given you a chance to breathe, but, with that a new tension has come between you. One you're trying very hard to ignore. It’s crawled into your head and planted thoughts of closeness, of more, that you can ignore during the day but not at night.

After that day you'd formed a new routine. Going to sleep next to Ezra and waking up feeling secure in his arms before the guilt hits and you leave before he wakes. Not letting him know the comfort you've found there.

⧫⧫⧫

Apart from the locals coming to bang on your walls every few days, weeks pass incident free as you both perform this dance around each other. Ezra finds that his cold showers are doing less and less to quell his lust, and heart is another matter entirely. So, he ignores it, treats you a little coolly, tries not to scare you off, it's getting more difficult now nearly every night he dreams of you. Sometimes it's lewd, sometimes you're chatting together, the worst are when he dreams he's just holding you. He might think it was real if not for how when he wakes up you aren't there.

Until the morning he wakes first.

He's groggy, breathing deeply and so, so comfortable. It takes a moment to get his bearings. Shifting slightly, he realises how he's curled around you, hand on the strip of skin of your stomach where your shirt has rolled up, face pressing into the back of your neck and he has to fight the urge to kiss it. When you moan quietly, he props himself up on his arm looking down at you in the low light. For a moment he thinks you're having a nightmare but you flushed, breathing shallowly and he's certain you aren't. When you whimper, he shudders, such a pretty noise. He feels tempted to stay pressed against you, to touch you, to make you make more of those noises. He fights it off, and eases away from you stepping out of the warmth of his burrow.

He thinks, perhaps later he can talk to you, there's nothing wrong with getting some pleasure and easing some stress in each other’s arms. There isn't long left of the dig and then you'll go your separate ways, the thought stings a little. He leans back against the door. Kevva, he craves more, he wants to learn every inch of you intimately, to learn what makes you tick, to wake up with you in his arms. It aches deep in his chest, so many years spent in poor company. He hears you moan once more and groans himself, pushing off the door he trudges to the shower.

For the first time in ages, he runs it hot before stepping in and grasping his cock. He lets himself take his time, starting slow, increasing the pace till he feels like he could explode then slowing right back down again. He doesn't fight off the images of you that spring into his head now he knows what you can sound like. He imagines you making them with his tongue on you, fingers buried in you as he presses you down, how you'd whine his name, how you'd beg. Ezra grunts, staving off his orgasm once more his cock red and throbbing with his heartbeat. He pictures sinking into you, hot and wet with you pliable in his arms as he fucks you into the ground. He cums hard with a growl and a curse and then curses himself both for being loud and for allowing himself to yearn for you, then finally he begins to wash.

⧫⧫⧫

You wake with a start, panting. Your dream is vivid in your mind. Ezra grasping your hands so you couldn't move as he fucked you with his tongue moaning against you. He'd talked too, both eloquent and totally filthy as he got you exactly where he wanted you. You huff, now you were left frustrated and still pining for a man who must just see you as a utility, a way to get off this planet. Hell, he barely even knew anything about you, didn't know the most important thing. But you know you can't stay in this limbo for long now, the digs nearly done and after then what can you do. There are two options, tell him who you are and how you feel and hope for the best or just ignore it, get off the planet, take your money, and go live the quiet life you'd intended. You focus on this debate and instead of the wetness between your legs as you leave the cupboard.

You look around for Ezra and exhale as you hear the shower running, there's no way for him to know what you were dreaming of, right?

That's when you hear him, it's a low, erotic groan followed by a string of swear words and you flush as you became achingly aware of how wound tight you are. You turn away and try to ignore it, heating up water for both of your cafs as the shower stops.

As it brews the steel door swings open and Ezra emerges wrapped in a towel and glowering, you ignore his stare and the way droplets of water slide down his chest making you want to lick him as you hand him a mug.

Ezra watches you gnaw on your lip as you look him over and can't hold in the grin at how frustrated you seem. He can't help but tease.

“Did you have pleasant dreams little bird? You seemed unwilling to rise this delightful morning.”

His grin widens with your eyes as you look away “Err I don't remember… did you sleep ok?”

“Like I was in the welcoming arms of a lover” He doesn't miss your little inhale of breath, and he wonders how best to broach the topic of mutual pleasure with you. Perhaps it'll quell the urge to keep you safe in his arms.

The way Ezra is teasing you makes you think perhaps he can read your mind. As he goes to dress you make a decision, after the dig you'll explain how you really got here, explain how you don't want to leave him after the dig is done. And hopefully he'll be worn out enough that, should he decide you're too much of a liability, you can out run him.

As you head out an uneasy feeling settles in your stomach, you tell Ezra as much but he just chuckles, “Perhaps you're still tired”

The morning goes smoothly, you're in the pit this time handing stuff out every so often to Ezra, his fingers brushing yours. Both of you work quickly, you puff, out of breath, as you stretch yourself up for yet another hand off. His ability to talk is once again surprising you. You laugh at his story despite the unease and the beat of the sun in your back and miss the delighted expression that crosses Ezra's face from your position in the pit.

Like a light switching, the energy shifts. You know there's trouble before Ezra mumbles through the comm “Little bird, stay down. Company approaches.”

Your blood runs cold when a voice responds, already on your frequency, a voice you know. “Greetings friend, we think you can help us out.”

Ezra eyes the pair in front of him, knowing you’d been made was adding a layer of worry to a tense situation, “I'll help if I can but, you're encroaching on my little territory you know how it is. I will be obliged to defend it”

You hear the pair step closer “Actually we're looking for someone,” your eyes slip closed as you stay stock-still, “See they greatly are responsible for our predicament. However,” the voice is clear like they already know you're here, crap, how long did they listen in? “If they were to help us find something we've lost. I can assure their punishment is… swift.”

You swallow as they step to the edge of the pit, Damon glares down at you “Hello darling, long time no see”

Ezra looks shockingly calm, still smiling as you glance at him, “Now then, that is not a polite way to address my partner.”

The other man scoffs, second in command Barlow, “Your partner? Back to your old ways I see.” He looks Ezra up and down. “You’re their type”

You think perhaps you see Ezra's jaw clench before he's grinning “It hardly seems fair for you to make off with my partner, does it? No, not without compensation which unless my ears deceive me, you can't give me without them.”

Before you can blink guns are drawn and you feel like a fish in a barrel, stuck in the pit without Ezra to pull you out.

“You don't know who we are, do you? I suppose in the suits you can't tell but I'd have thought with your… intimate relationship to our engineer you might have figured it out.”

Ezra’s gun doesn't waver for a second but his mind reels. The bandage on your arm, it couldn't be. Surely, he hadn't been so blinded by your company not to notice that. His eyes darken and he thinks, for a moment this man, Damon, realises he's going to die the split second before Ezra shoots.

Barlow’s slower, surprised at him for making the first move but despite his fumble this was a real stand-off. He meets Ezra's glare and they're frozen in time for a moment. Just as he watches the man start to squeeze the trigger and prepare to shoot, he flops sideways. Ezra swings his thrower round you see you, gun in one hand, body turned to the side, still poised from the shot neither of them had seen coming.

Ezra looks as surprised as you feel, even taking aim you hadn't been sure you should save him. But, in the second the men had forgotten about you, you'd let instinct take over and your instinct had chosen Ezra. You hoped it was correct.

Perhaps not. You watch as Ezra’s face darkens, his teeth bared as he levels his pistol at you. “Little bird” his voice makes you shiver despite the heat, “Be so kind as you toss your shooter up here. I think we will be having words.”

You can only nod, what can you do? He says he wants to talk so you'll talk, out of the pit. Where you can stand your ground. You swallow and throw your gun up to him. He gives you a curt nod picking it up and turning away. For a terrifying moment you think he's going to leave you here to die slowly but before you can beg him not to, he returns and tosses a pack down.

“Pack up your gear. We're leaving.” His tone leaves no room for argument so you pack away his equipment as quickly as you can and put it on as you wait and listen to him packing his own, wondering if the shots will draw more trouble.

After all the time spent getting used to his talking, his silence is terrifying. It allows you to think, to panic, to imagine the worst thing he can do. Probably leave you on this planet to rot or be torn to pieces by the locals. You squeeze your eyes shut at the thought.

“Come on now, your elevator awaits” You open them to see he's offering his hand down for you to grab. You do your best to ignore the pistol in the other as you grab a hold and scramble out of the hole you had been sure was going to become your grave. Ezra doesn't loosen his grip on your arm as he hauls you to your feet and strides away from the dig forcing you to trot behind him to keep up.

You stare up at him as he pulls you along trying to read his thoughts. He doesn't look at you scowling straight ahead, his grip vice like and bruising. You don't try to shake him off, you’re sure he's worked out who you are. Your former co-workers hadn't been subtle but you can't gage whether or not this is a walk to the noose.

⧫⧫⧫

Tugging you into the pod he releases your arm and turning to seal the door he finally speaks. “Take off your helmet” His tone sends goosebumps over prickling over your skin so you pull it off and go to set it down on the table. When you turn back, he's right in front of you glaring down eyes dark. It makes you feel tiny. “Show me your arm.”

His words are too concise, so abrupt you hesitate. It's like he's a different person, an enemy you aren't sure you should comply to. Ezra decides you're taking too long and seizes the top of your arms spinning you both around and pinning you against the pod's wall, knee hitched up between your legs keeping you in place. You squirm in a futile attempt to get away and gasp as he unzips the front of your suit and shoves it down to your waist. Ezra breathes heavily as he rakes his eyes up to your body to your face. Doing his best to swallow down his desire, he ignores your own heaving chest and grabs the back of your neck forcing you to look up at him.

“Little bird, take off that measly scrap of fabric and reveal the truth.” You gulp eyes wide fingering the knot of the bandage on your arm. Ezra gives you a little shake. “Do it now.”

So, you do, pulling apart the knot and unwinding it from your arm. You don't look at it, perhaps if you don't see it, it's not really there. Instead, you watch Ezra's face for his reaction, gleaning nothing as he releases your shoulder and grabs your wrist bringing it up for him to see clearly. His brow furrows as he inspects your forearm, a brand of three circles linked like a chain. Kevva, he'd hoped he'd been mistaken. You're frozen as his gaze returns to you, dark eyes furious he crowds around you, filling your senses, body pressing you against the wall. His leg shifts slightly between yours and you almost whimper.

“You've been dishonest, little bird, and I do not appreciate it.” Ezra feels at war, he's furious you lied but he understands why. He's fuming you had been running with a violent, malevolent group of pirates. He doesn't understand why you'd ran after the crash or why you'd turned to him. He wants to know what you have that your crew found so valuable. He wants to know how you're both so hard and so soft. All these thoughts rattle around in his head as he stares at you, your mouth slightly open and your lips wet, until he can only think about how good you feel pressed against him, how delicate you feel under the hand on your neck. How much, despite everything, he wants you. He doesn't notice how close he's gotten to you until he feels the puff of your breath on his face. And then you utterly surprise him.

You can almost hear him think as he stares down at you. You don't want to interrupt but his hold on you is drawing attention to his size, to how much strength and power he holds. It's like he's swirling all around you clouding your brain, filling it with him. So, you let yourself do what you want. You've got nothing to lose. Everything that's yours is in his hands and you can't bring yourself to care. He's leaning closer, bending so with his hand on your neck tilting your head up it's like you’re sharing breath. You close the gap and kiss him.

For a second, he freezes in surprise and then he's kissing you back. Harshly biting your lower lip before shoving his tongue into your mouth. It's desperate and rough and you lick into his mouth in response loving the low moan coming from deep in his chest. He releases your wrist and grasps your hip closing any distance left between you. He grinds into you, the leg between your thighs causing a delicious friction as you whimper into his mouth. He breaks the kiss and stares down at you for a second moving his hands to the bottom of your vest. At your nod he tugs it off and pounces back on you. He rubs his hands up your sides as he kisses you, loving the feeling of how big they are on your frame and how you gasp as he pinches your nipple between his thumb and forefinger. You wriggle against him trying to unfasten his suit and shove it down his arms. He obliges, stepping back he pushing it off and kicks it away leaving him in his underclothes, staring at you, pupils blown wide with lust as he takes you in. Then he's back on you, seizing your jaw and tilting your head up to look at him as his other hand tugs down the remainder of your suit taking your leggings with it.

Eyes look up and down your form, drinking it in as he reaches down to rub a finger over the wetness soaking your underwear. Your mouth drops open and Ezra seizes the opportunity to shove his thumb in your mouth, his grip adjusting to your chin. Smiling as you suck on it.

“Look at you” he coos dragging his nose into your cheek almost mockingly “On display for me, you look good enough to eat.” He punctuates this by biting your neck and pulling your thin underwear taut against your clit just enough you cry out and stand on tiptoe. He grins down at you as you bite down gently on his thumb and then pulls off your underwear letting you kick it aside before stroking his fingers across your slit so gently it makes you buck towards his hand. He moves his hand back to your hip, pinning you back to the wall as he pulls his thumb from your mouth and wraps his hand around your throat, not squeezing just resting there.

“I want you to stay still,” his voice is low and commanding so you nod. “Repeat it back to me, I want to hear you.”

You whimper, “I'll stay still” and he grins before bending to kiss and nip along your jaw above his hand as his other moves back down to your cunt. He circles your clit so gently it's like he isn't really touching you and just as he slightly increases the pressure he draws back. A needy whine falls from your throat but you stay still and he murmurs against your cheek.

“Good little bird, so wet for me. You're positively dripping,” and then just as slowly he eases a finger into. You cry out, so wound tight it's agonising, the contrast between how harshly he gripped you before against his irreverent touches now making you ache for him more than ever. “Sing for me little bird” he demands and then he's really moving, pressing his finger against that spot inside you that makes you see stars, thumb drawing circles over your clit making you moan so loudly it surprises you.

Ezra watches the flush spread over your skin as your eyes roll back, he doesn't know how he wants you first. Just as you’re getting close, he realises. He wants you begging.

He forces himself to pull his hand away from you and watches as you shudder with tension eyes opening to look up at him. “Ezra…” your voice is so soft he grins.

You watch him as he raises his hand to his face to lick your juice off it, sucking his finger with a pop. It's so erotic you can only whimper as he smirks down at you. You want to touch yourself, make yourself cum while he watches, but as you lower your hand down he grabs your wrist and moves it back to his shoulder. “Don't misbehave birdie, right now all your pleasure is mine.” You bite your lip.

Then he returns his hand to your pussy, this time shoving two fingers in pumping them as he rubs his thumb against your clit more firmly than before. Your body quivers but his hand against your neck keeps you in place as you moan desperately. As soon as you get close again, he slows down to a stop this time keeping you stuffed with his fingers as you try to get some friction. “Please Ezra,” the tone of your voice shocks you, you've never sounded so needy.

He moves his face away from biting your ear lobe to look at you, “Please Ezra what, little bird? You've got to be clear”

You can't stop the words tumbling out of you, “Please can I cum, please make me cum Ezra”

He smiles almost cruelly, “You sound so exquisite when you beg.” He starts working his thumb again, brushing his lips against yours. The hand on your neck finally starts to squeeze, turning you on more. “Do it again.”

You do, no power could stop you begging for him, saying his name like a prayer. And then you're cumming, your vision goes white as Ezra squeezes your throat firmly, cutting the blood from your brain dragging it out as he shoves a third finger into your wet pussy.

Ezra swears he's never witnessed anything so magnificent. Your eyes rolling back into your head, mouth open and lips wet, unable to make a sound. How you soak his hand, how you tighten around his fingers. Now all he wants is to find out how many times, how many ways, he can break you apart.

When you begin to squirm, he reluctantly pulls away, you look up only to find he's pulling off his shirt and trousers. Your eyes widen as his cock springs free. You'd known he carried himself like he had nothing to be insecure about but Kevva… he's packing. It's huge and beautiful, slightly curved, a striking vein runner down it. You feel a little more breathless at the sight.

Ezra catches you staring and grins, pressing back against you, grabbing your arse and lifting you against him. You wrap your legs around him as he pins you up against the wall. His cock feels even bigger pressed against your stomach. Ezra grinds against you sucking marks down your neck as he notches himself at your entrance. You whine and claw his shoulders, he's barely into you and you're sure you've never felt so full. “Ezra” your voice is thready “Ezra I don't think you're going to fit.”

He coos in response thrusting shallowly getting slightly further in and making a cry out as you feel yourself drip around his cock. “Don't fret little bird,” he thrusts again getting deeper, kissing you, relishing the feeling of your heat around him, “I know you can take me.”

He thrusts decisively, bottoming out and pushing the air from your lungs. It feels like he's breaking you open, splitting you in two with his cock and you love it. Love the ache as you adjust, love how you can almost feel him in your stomach, love how he has you pinned to the wall supported by those strong hands and his body and totally at his mercy.

You can barely register he's talking as he grinds his hips against your clit. “... squeezing so tight around me. Never in all my time have I gotten so close to Nirvana.”

He waits until you've started to writhe in his arms, just add he'd imagined, begging for him to move. Then he starts long deep thrusts, interspersed by him grinding against your clit making you whimper and moan as you feel his cock drag across your walls.

“Kevva plucked you out of my head and sent you here for me. You're divine, exquisite…” you can't focus on the words, in no time at all you're cumming again. Squeezing him so tight he chokes on his words and kisses you deeply. He doesn't slow down or speed up, keeping his devastating pace until your body starts to relax. Then he nips at your jaw, hooking his arms under your knees and around your back, spreading his palms wide. He steps away from the wall and, slightly afraid he'll drop you, you grab the back of his neck, but you needn't worry.

Now with you impaled on his cock suspended in the air by his arms, he truly begins to ruin you. Lifting you up and slamming you back he watches your cunt take him, watches how your breasts bounce, watches you throw your head back in a silent scream. He bites into your neck leaving a mark as he sets a brutal pace. Seeing you like this, feeling you like this, has stolen his vocabulary so he curses and growls as he watches, totally enraptured by how well you take him. He thinks maybe he tells you but he can't be sure.

Ezra’s still talking his sentences shorter but still as dirty, the way he praises you makes you moan and combined with his he is destroying you; you don't think you'll ever experience something this good again and then you don't think anything much at all. Just Ezra, his strength, his beautiful words, how perfectly he's fucking you.

Ezra knows he can't last much longer, not in this heaven but he's determined to make you cum again before he does just to feel it. So, he moves you slightly in his arms until he hits that bit which takes your cries even higher. He grins as you dig your nails into his shoulders, the slight pain both grounding him and making him lose his mind.

You feel so overwhelmed and overstimulated that when he adjusts his thrusting you can't help the few tears escaping as you wail. He just pulls you slightly closer and licks them up before staring down and watching how your pussy stretches to take him. You’re so close again you're sure you might explode if you don't cum, or if you do. And then you do, you can't even make a sound as your whole body goes rigid and Ezra doesn't stop pounding you. Instead, you hear him growl and curse and his thrusts get faster and shorter.

Ezra had never experienced anything hotter. The way you threw your head back and took it as he fucked you like a ragdoll. The feeling of you clenching around him. How you soaked him, the sound of your fucking would stay with him forever. And then he's cumming, he bites down on your shoulder groaning into your skin as he releases. His mind is wonderfully blank as he squeezes you against himself and fills you up with a dozen shallow thrusts.

He doesn't release you right away, just holds you to his chest as he turns to lean against the wall cock still in you. Blissful in the moments before his thoughts start buzzing again. When you can move you look up at Ezra, he meets your eyes, gaze totally unreadable. He reluctantly releases you with a groan and grabs his shirt as he kneels and begins to clean off your combined juices dripping down your legs. Seeing him on his knees taking care of you threatens to give you hope which you tamped down. He didn't know the truth yet and he had readily thrown you out once before. When he's done, he stands and tosses the shirt to the side, tugs on his soft under trousers as you pull on your own clothes. The silence feels like a giant pit between you and you glare at your feet unsure how to start this important conversation.

To your surprise Ezra gently pinches your chin and tilts your head up to look at him. “We've still got much to discuss, little bird.” At your nod he pulls your hand into his ignoring how small and delicate it feels and gently tugs you towards the burrow. He has to know the truth.

⧫⧫⧫

You sit next to each other, his back against the wall, you sitting forward nervously running your fingers over the brand on your arm. Ezra just watches you, waits for you to explain and hopes you aren't a threat he'll have to get rid of after you've shared such intimacy.

“I don't… I won't come off like a very good person or partner when I tell you this. So just listen… please?”

Ezra nods, “None of us can be considered a good person, our humanity is dependent on our survival” he sighs, “Spin your tale, I'll remain in silence until it's done and keep my judgement of our partnership till it's completion”

You swallow, “I fixed a ship, that's how this whole mess started. We were leaving a dig and something had gone wrong which would have forced us to land. But I suited up and fixed it in zero G. It was completely stupid and shouldn't have worked but it did and we made it back to the dock. It wasn't till we'd sold off all our gems and separated that I was cornered. Turns out the malfunction wasn't an accident and by fixing it I'd cost them a lot of money in what they would have stolen from us. They reckoned I owed them and… they aren't people you want to owe”

You close your eyes and Ezra watches you tense. He'd like nothing more than to pull you into his arms but as he reaches for you, he clenches his fist. He needs to hear you out.

“They went through the rest of my team to get to me…” oh, Ezra understands they'd totally isolated you. “Well, they worked out since I could fix their brakes, I could mess up the ships in ways that couldn't be fixed without an emergency landing. They branded me there and then. Didn't even tell me how long I'd have to work to balance what I owed; probably thought I'd be dead by then.” You look down at your arm and frown.

When you look back at Ezra, his eyes are sharp, watching you intensely. “That scars old, little bird, how long did you dutifully aid their robberies.” Robberies of prospectors, people like him, people who'd been like you.

You look away, jaw clenched, “Long enough for it to get easy.”

Ezra doesn't move behind you, doesn't speak. You can't look at him.

“And then I couldn't anymore, I saw what I'd become and I hated it.” Your nails dig into your arm. “No one's good out in the fringe. But I was worse. I can't make up for what I did… can't take it back, can't return lives, possessions any of that. But I could stop, bring my crew down too. We used a distress beacon to lure in the other ships and…” you laugh “This time as I boarded after dealing with the other ship. I dunno, I just snapped and blew our engine too.”

Your mouth twists at the memory, “The pilot saw and I… when I was done, I just thought one down. I didn't want to die myself, that’s the easy way out, so I did my best to pull the chutes, hoping I'd play dead and hitch a ride out. Well, you know the rest.”

You stare straight ahead as a tense silence follows not daring to see Ezra glare at you. You don't see his soft eyes looking you up and down, his mind reeling. Had he known this when you’d first met, he would have shot you without question and left you to rot, your presence nothing more than a risk to his survival. But now, you’d saved him, talked with him, he’d gotten to know you. How you drink your caf black saying you’re “sweet enough”, how you look in the morning, how you laugh, how you moan. He knows he can’t kill you now, but you are a threat. He doesn’t know what to do. “Why are they searching for you? What do you have that they want? Your friend mentioned something.”

You laugh humorlessly, “They don't know where the other ship crashed, I was in the pilot’s seat, so no one else could see it go down. Fat lot of good it'll do them wrecked here.”

There's a bang on the side of the pod, “Shite” Ezra mumbles, “Our quixotic friends have returned.”

⧫⧫⧫

The wait for them to leave seems to take hours, the silence making your heart pound and your thoughts race over what you can do now. Ezra will definitely want you gone, only a mad man would keep you around with your history. Perhaps back to the original plan, see if you can mend the other ships escape pod and get the hell off this planet.

By the time the locals have decided your pod is empty, your plan is set. You stand, not looking back at Ezra. “I'll get scarce, I know I'm a problem waiting to happen.”

You grab your bag feeling in the pocket for your ring, a memory of a home you can't return to, old gods you're no longer sure are there. You look down at it as you step out of the burrow not noticing Ezra follow. You shove it into your suit pocket.

He is stumped for words as he watches you grab your possessions that have become scattered around the pod. He sees how your lives have become enmeshed. Scraps from your notebook scattered around where you'd played hangman or left notes and reminders for each other, items of clothing he watches you fail to pack, that damn terrible caf on the workbench.

He's not sure that he'll ever get all the pieces of you out of the pod, out of himself. You're under his skin, the very smell of you making his heart beat with more determination. As you reach for your helmet, he grabs your hand and finally you look up at him.

“Don't leave, I don't want you to leave.”

It's so simple but it means so much more and he thinks you maybe realise as you look up at him tears in your eyes. “I don't want to go.”

And then he kisses you. It's slower than before but no less fierce sparking a deep need in your chest. Gently now, he pulls off your suit as if he's still persuading you to stay before running his hands up your arms and down your back and sides like he's memorising your shape. When he kisses you again it's hungry, intense, he's trying to put words he's afraid to speak into it and it totally wiped your mind as you let him pull you back into his burrow.

Then he's peeling all your clothes off you. His touch is irreverent like he's unwrapping a precious artifact. He tugs you to lie down and settles between your legs pulling off his own shirt. He balances his weight on his arm above your head to nip at your lips, you reach up to run your hands up his chest, feeling him shudder as you gently rake your nails over the skin.

His other hand is squeezing your breast and pinching your nipple before seizing your hip and pulling you flush against him. The friction of his trousers against you, combined with how he's surrounding you, invading all your senses, is overwhelming.

“You are something else entirely,” he's kissing his way down your body, sucking purple bruises as he goes, seeming determined to mark every inch of you. “I could travel the whole breadth of this hostile galaxy and never find a sight as breath-taking as you laid out before me, a divine meal worthy of gods”

His words turn you on more as his ministrations make their way down to your legs. He bites your inner thigh almost too hard, making you squeal and jerk away but he grabs your hips and pulls you back, laving his tongue over the slight indent left by his teeth. You don't know how he's done it, not hours ago he railed you into oblivion and somehow, he has wound you tight all over again. It's like he's playing an instrument, plucking your strings both hard and soft so you melt.

His eyes meet yours, dark and hungry and he holds your gaze as he licks up your slit, his tongue wide as flat. You moan softly as he smiles, “Straight from the source your essence is even more delectable.” He stares at your pussy, seemingly fascinated by how it's fluttering around nothing, totally rapt by a droplet of your arousal sliding its way down.

You whimper at him, and try to buck your hips in his grip, desperate for him to do anything other than stare. He chuckles at you, “So willing to give yourself to me,” then he spits on your cunt. You gasp, half from shock and half from how much it turned you on. He grins as you tense and dives in.

Ezra eats you out like water from a well after crossing a desert. It feels as if he's writing the words, you’re stopping him saying all over your clit as you cry his name. His eyes closed he reaches up and seizes your hands, pulling you closer and settling his elbows over your hips keeping you still and at his mercy as he moans against you. Your eyes close as you feel sparks travel up and down your spine as he shoves his tongue into you making you whine but then he pulls away. Rubbing his cheek on your thigh, his beard tickling you.

“I want you to look at me little bird.” You can't help but obey his command instantly opening your eyes to see his pupils blown wide as he smirks. “You'd do just about anything for me to let you cum, wouldn't you? Don't worry your pretty head. I want you to cum in my mouth.”

Then he's back on you, sucking your clit between his teeth, you gasp his name trying to squirm away. his eyes piercing you, his mouth on you, his hands covering yours, his arms holding you down. It fills your head with him totally overpowering you and then you cum.

You go totally rigid, you're still looking at Ezra but your vision has gone so white you can't see him, just feel him moan against your cunt as you soak his tongue. Even as you start attempting to twist away, he continues, switching between sucking and licking at you as his strong arms pin you down. You cry out at the overstimulation, shuddering from it, tears leaking from your eyes and in no time at all you're thrown over the edge again. Cumming so hard your mind is totally wiped of anything but Ezra.

This time he grants you a reprieve, sitting up he watches your chest heave as you slowly come back into your body. He's lost for words, seeing you like this is better than anything he'd ever imagined and he still wants more, wants to ring every drop of pleasure out of you. And when you smile up at him, totally blissed out and willing, he's sure he'd do almost anything to keep you.

He doesn't put it into words though. Instead, he crawls over you seizing your jaw “Open that pretty mouth little bird,” something about how you so readily obey him twists in his chest and makes his cock twitch. He ignores it and bends close spitting into your mouth. You can taste yourself in it and it sparks your desire all over again.

He can't hold in a groan as you swallow, still smiling, his head seems too empty so he kisses you. It's fiery, filled with lust as you kiss him back and wrap your legs around him reaching down to pull off his trousers, he pulls back to kick them away as his cock springs free, it's hot and red as you wrap you hand around it, not even able to meet finger and thumb and squeeze slightly making him growl and bite along your jawline. “Tell me little bird, what would you will me to do?”

You meet his gaze, “Fuck me.” he groans into your neck, “Please.”

He watches your face as he positions himself at you entrance, “Kevva,” it's like he's not really talking to you, “I've never borne witness to anything so magnificent as your perfect cunt soaking me,” he slowly pushes his way in. It makes you whimper and him growl and you watch the tension in his neck as he restrains himself from ruining you, “Fuck you're tight.” His language is getting simpler as he starts losing control. His soft eyes beg you to let him move as his jaw clenches and you can't help but give in.

“Please Ezra, move! fuck me”

The noise he makes is inhuman as he starts drilling into you. He shoves one of your knees up over his shoulder, deepening his thrusts making you cry out as he shreds against your walls. All he can think is how hot you are, how wet, how tight, how perfectly you take him. He's shoving up against your g shot with every thrust, coarse hairs grinding on your clit, you feel totally at his mercy to do nothing but take it and it may be the best sex you've ever experienced, ever will experience.

He looks beautiful, your juices still glistening on his face, brow furrowed and eyes half lidded but so piercing you might think he was furious if not for how in-between curses he's describing you, what he thinks of you. You aren't sure he even knows he's talking and the need in his words drives you higher and higher despite how spent you feel, how much you don't think you can cum again. And then you do. Kevva the way you clamp down on him clawing his back makes him lose his mind, he shoves both your knees up to your chest bending over you to bite you lower lip. The change in angle adds more friction, his thrusts get shorter, faster. Ezra cums so hard he can't think, you watch his eyes roll into his head, the groan he makes cuts off his own speech as he shoves himself as deep into you as he can get and releases.

Ezra’s ears are still ringing when he manages to roll himself off you. Both of you are panting, as you stare at the roof of the pod and try to muster the words. Naturally, Ezra succeeds first. “Little Bird, I didn't know experiences such as that could be bestowed upon men like me.” You can only make a little noise in reply as he takes your hand and silence falls again.

Finally, when your breath is caught and you can both think again, he pulls you to his chest and wraps his arms around you resting his chin on the top of your head.

“Little bird, I'm starting to agree our dig may be bust. Trouble is biting our ankles and I should have listened earlier. Let's pillage what we can to fix the pod and get going. The dig is almost done, even split it'll be a while before I need to pick up another job.” You feel a sting at how quickly Ezra had returned to talking business but you do your best to brush it off. There's nothing wrong with some shagging between friends and it's no reason for him to feel the same fluttering in his chest that you do in yours.

“Right then we should travel light, get everything we need and come back. The fix won't take long, we can be gone in two days.” Two days left with Ezra makes you feel a little sad, you suppose you'd just gotten used to his company.

Ezra smiles grimly, “If we're lucky.”

You turn and roll over enjoying how he follows, wrapping you in his arms, tangling your legs like he can't bear to be separate. “I do have a question for you if you don't mind?”

You shrug, “Depends what it is.”

“What is that strange ring you carry but don't put on.”

“It's… it was a gift when I left home. It's supposed to be my payment.”

Ezra's mind casts back to how you paid honour to the dead, even those he certainly didn't think deserved a boatman. Saving them from a potential purgatory. But you didn't wear yours.

“Little bird, forgive my bluntness but curiosity is driving me to ask. Why don't you wear it?”

You squeeze your eyes closed, forcing away images of your past, grounded in Ezra's warm grip. “It's,” you sigh, “It's just too heavy.”

Ezra can feel how tense you've become and fights off the heavy guilt threatening to settle in his chest. You think yourself deserving of the hundred-year wait wandering the shore, think the loneliness is just. He kisses the back of your neck. “We should let our dreams take us lest we attract more trouble. It is salient we are well rested.”

You sigh, relaxing against him despite yourself. Long since exhausted by the day and his attentions, you let yourself drift off. Faintly feeling a hand caress your cheek, but you could have imagined it.

⧫⧫⧫

Waking up with someone warm in his arms is something Ezra could get used to. He tells you as much but you brush it off, someone isn't necessarily you after all. Ezra talks as you pack but he avoids the subject of you, of you both. He didn't want to scare you off, he tells himself, his flighty little bird. But he knows he's lying to himself, just being a coward, afraid of your reaction. He avoids meeting your eye until, helmets on, you both stand by the door. Taking a moment of peace before heading into the waste. He takes your hand seeking reassurance as much as trying to give it. You meet his eyes looking a little afraid but determined. He squeezes it tight before letting go and opening the door.

The walk East is easy enough, a pretty straight shot over flat ground. The only real problem being navigating the increasingly dense petrified forest. Ezra talks continuously, but you're grateful, glad it isn't awkward between you and enjoying his descriptions of other worlds he's visited. Where instead of breathless death and grey, there's vivid greens and blues of plants and flowers. Where the beauty is just as dangerous as this blank world. And, slowly, you start to talk too. Really talk. You describe a world that, to you, had seemed to be entirely made up of a casino, and the trouble you had gotten into there.

“Too rich for my blood,” Ezra chuckles and you agree.

You don't tell him about your home, not yet. But being able to talk, to laugh about something you'd done, feels freeing. Like a weight has been lifted ever so slightly off your shoulders.

You’re both grateful the walk is uneventful but you can't relax as the looming silhouette of the other spaceship appears through the trees. It's still too early for hope.

As you approach you see that the crew had successfully pulled their parachutes, but too late. The side of the ship had caved in where it had skidded across the earth, giving you both a way in. When you stop Ezra’s looking at you, “Any chance of survivors, little bird?”

You just shrug. “I doubt it after this. They were running a skeleton crew.” You wince slightly at the double entendre, hoping you have the time to find their bodies and pay their dues.

Ezra raises an eyebrow at you. “On a ship this big? That is most peculiar.”

“I guess, I didn't get a chance to think about it at the time.”

You go over the list again, 5 items, 5 areas. All small enough to carry in your packs. To yourself you add another item, just in case you get the chance.

“We stick together, watch each other’s backs.” You nod in agreement and you both step into the ship.

⧫⧫⧫

There's a faint dripping noise, like a clock ticking. It sets off your nerves as you leave the light of the suns. Inside is cast in red, a good sign the electrics haven't been fried, but totally unsettling. It casts humanoid shadows across the grated walls seemingly flickering with every step. Ezra had gone totally silent but his presence behind you is reassuring. Together you pry open the first door.

Inside has the same red light but the weapons board flashes at you telling you it's still live which is strange. You mumble it to Ezra. “These things usually shut down first after a crash, they drain loads of power that's usually diverted out.”

He frowns at you. “Mayhaps a malfunction? It looks like a rough crash.”

“Yeah. Probably.” But it niggles at the back of your brain. All you can do right now is ignore it so you wrench the panel out from the wall to the side and stick your arm in. Feeling around, you brush your fingers up against the dotted cylinder you need. These old ships had a habit of hiding important components in baffling locations, apparently to protect them in a crash which you do suppose this has, but you suspect it's to confuse novice engineers and pillagers alike.

Ezra is keeping a sharp eye on the door but he can't help but enjoy watching you work, grumbling about what a stupid place this was for a fuse break and how it would have been harder to wreck their engine had it actually been where all the ships power came from. He grins at you and you smile back tugging the, whatever it was, out of the wall. He tosses his pack over to you.

“I'll get this one birdie,” making you roll your eyes but you gently place it in and hand it back.

“Take care of that.”

“I'll cradle it as if it were a new-born.” He says so sincerely you can't help but snort.

“Don't worry too much, ships like these are made hardy, they don't just fry things like your pod.” He scowls playfully at you as you head back to the corridor.

“I will not hear a negative word about her, we've been together for years.”

The ship groans around you as if it's a living creature as you head deeper in. The maze of corridors makes Ezra feel turned around but you seem to know where to go and he follows dutifully. The next stop is a storage closet smaller than his little burrow.

Inside is a collection of boxes from which you produce two tiny discs. You look at Ezra, “I doubt they'll mind me taking a spare, these things are expensive.” Still not being entirely sure what everything you're searching for is, he just shrugs,

The moment of ease sputters out when you enter comms. There's a buzzing that sets your teeth on edge, someone's been on the radio. Ezra clicks it off but the silence is suddenly oppressive. Trying hard to hear any sign of life you scan the dark corners of the space.

“We don't know how long this has been on.” Ezra’s voice is steady but there's an edge you know too well. You agree all the same, hurrying to rip the tubing out from under the console. The blinking lights shut off with a hum as Ezra takes it from you, looping it together and shoving it into his pack. You don't argue.

Two items left, you'd saved the cockpit and the engine till last, both at the opposite end of the ship.

The door to the cockpit is open. you look at Ezra, his jaw is set glaring into it. You head in first moving swiftly to the control panel to the side to start pulling the whole thing apart for one measly chip. He disappears into the shadows to search the room. It's too big, too many places to hide, he thinks to himself trying to picture the best place for an ambush.

He finds one body, curled in on itself as if tossed into the corner. The next is under a nav table, arms over its head. The final one is the hardest to look at, in the pilot seat, hand still grasping the parachute release. He swallows as he takes in this futile effort to survive, picturing the final moments as the ground rises to meet them, the hopelessness.

He spins when he hears your voice.

“Wait, wait!”

“You should have stayed away-“

Ezra doesn't even think, he just shoots and the man with a blade at your throat drops. He didn't even know he could draw that fast. He fights off the adrenaline, calming his breathing as he approaches you. Your eyes are wide with shock and you take a deep breath looking up at him.

“Thank you, Ezra.”

He just wants to pull you close, hold you against him, protect you with his body. With the suits and helmets, it would be uncomfortable so he grabs your hand and pulls it to his chest.

“Think nothing of it.”

“I didn't think there could be any survivors.” At that he examined the body. Shit, the suit, the emblem, the skull etched into the glass of his helmet.

“That, little bird, is because there aren't any. It appears that the locals are here.”

You squeeze his hand. “We've got to hurry.”

He nods, “Give me three coins.”

He’s found them. You'd already known they'd be dead but the confirmation sits heavily over you. You hand him the coins.

“You finish here, I'll take care of them. Don't worry.”

The kindness he's showing by doing it for you aches in your chest. You take the frustration out on the unsuspecting control panel. Tearing into it, pulling parts out, desperately trying to get a grip on your emotions and breathe a sigh of relief when you emerge, chip in hand. No one has ever extracted one so quickly you reckon. You shove it in your pack.

Heading to Ezra you take his hand, try to convey thanks through the touch alone. Thanks for saving you, thanks for not making you bear this burden solitarily, thanks for just being company after so long alone. You look up at him, he's chewing his words again but doesn't speak so you turn and lead him out.

In the engine room you seize a battery and yank it from the wall, grateful the lights stay on. Ezra takes it from you. “Don't argue birdie I'm bigger than you.”

He's cut off by a horn echoing through the ship. You swallow.

Taking his hand again, you both creep out of the room. Every sound is too loud, you curse your boots, the rattle of your tools, your own harsh breathing. You can't fail now, you're so close. At the sound of footsteps, you pull Ezra through a door into a room with bunks, closing the door as quietly as you can, you both hold your breath. As they pass the door his grip tightens on yours so much you feel the heat of his hand through your gloves. His eyes scan your face, like he's trying to memorise what you look like. You realise you’re doing the same to him.

When they pass you glance around the room as Ezra slumps against the door his eyes shut tightly. As you let go of him you see something in the corner of your eye. No fucking way. It's a gem case, unassuming on the outside but far bigger than the one Ezra carried. Item number six.

You shove it into your bag.

⧫⧫⧫

Neither of you seem to breath for the rest of your journey through the ship. Eyes and ears too peeled to do much else. The second you see the light outside you swallow. You say a prayer to yourself as you creep towards it.

The light blinds you as you step out. Something shoves you to the side, you hit the ground hard knocking the wind out of you as you try to see what hit you. The second your eyes adjust to the light you see Ezra trying to knock back one of the locals, trying to gain space to draw. You wrestle your pistol out of your holster and aim but you can't shoot. Their dance is too close and you're afraid to hit Ezra.

It all happens in slow motion. The stranger thrusts his spear into Ezra's stomach and pulls it out. He cries out stumbling back giving you a straight shot. You fire the same moment as the local brings his spear down on Ezra’s helmet.

You shoot too late.

Ezra drops back against the ship sliding to sit. Shattered glass glitters over the ground around you threatening to cut your knees as you crawl to him. His helmet is shattered.

“No no no no no” you press on the wound in his stomach tugging your pack off your back to get the med kit. “We've got to go, there's going to be more of them.”

He puts a hand over yours. “Little bird, I'm afraid my adventure has come to its conclusion”

You look at his face. “No Ezra! I can close this for now, we've got time. We can make it back.” His eyes are wide and sad, wet with the threat of tears. “Don't look at me like that!” There's desperation in your voice.

“You've got to go. Relieve yourself of my burden, you can repair the vessel and get away by yourself. You don't need me.”

“Shut up! I can't just leave you here.” You push his hands away and pull out a gun of sealing foam “Don't fucking argue with me, we've got so close you can't just give up.” Ignoring his arguments, you press the nozzle through his suit and fill his wound. He lets out a groan. As quick as you can, you pull your pack back on and stand seizing Ezra's arms and heaving him to his feet. He gives a short shout of pain but doesn't protest as you hook his arm over your shoulder for support.

You start to walk like this as the suns begin to dip. Keeping your pistol in your free hand you scan around you. The dead trees provide good cover but they also give any attackers the element of surprise so you do your best to listen out whilst you support Ezra.

It's a little difficult with his talking but you can't complain, not when it means he's still alive. But he's getting heavy, putting more weight on you, you don't know how long you can hold him up. Just as you're beginning to feel truly weak his topic of conversation changes.

“Little bird, it has been an exponential honour to be enclosed within your company. To have your trust if only a little. Kevva, the chance to learn your body the way I got to was a treasure worth more than any gem I could find. I only wish I could learn your mind just as intimately, to possess the knowledge of what makes you laugh, cry, your favourite food, favourite music. I'd cherish every drop of yourself you'd let me have until I could carry a vault of you with me”

“Ezra, don't…”

“The opportunity is being stolen from me, I both resent it and I'm so grateful for the time I've had. Little bird, don't let my soliloquy deceive you. I mean every word.”

You can't stop moving, but you grab onto him a little tighter. Letting yourself squeeze your eyes closed just for a moment to fight off the tears. There's no guarantee he'll survive, no hope yet, no point admitting feelings just to let him die. It would hurt too much.

You keep walking. Reminding Ezra to breath as slow as he can. Holding yourself together just to keep him upright.

Then you see it, your pod, through the trees, dark against the burning red sky.

There are two locals at the door. They turn.

Before you can think to react, Ezra pushes you aside as a spear careens where you'd just been stood. Drawing before you can blink, he fires twice. The locals fall. And then, so does he.

⧫⧫⧫

You aren't sure if you're saying his name out loud or just in your head. You roll him into his back and try to shake him awake. He doesn't even stir.

Instead, you seize the straps of his pack and use them to drag him towards your pod.

Your muscles are screaming after supporting him for so long but you don't let up, drawing strength from who knows where.

How did the pod seem so close minutes ago? Now it's miles away.

You don't know when you started crying.

You don't stop moving, can't stop until you've managed to pull him inside and seal the door. You yank off your helmet, tossing it aside and falling to your knees next to him pressing your ear to his chest, desperately trying to hear his heart through his suit.

It's dead silent.

That's when you scream. Tears streaming down your face you bring your fist down on his chest as hard as you can.

“Breath you bastard! Take a fucking breath!” You're sobbing now, “You can't just leave me here, leave me all alone. Not after all this. Not when we got so close.”

You curl over him pressing your face to his, your tears dripping onto him leaving tracks through the dust and blood on his skin. “You can't leave me alone,” it's barely a whisper. “Ezra.” You say his name over and over again like a prayer.

And then his chest moves.

You don't know whether you should laugh. You just keep bawling as you tear off his suit and grab his hand.

He doesn't wake up but it's enough, you squeeze his warm hand for another second before wiping at your face and getting your med kit. “Let's see what I can do about this wound hmm?”

⧫⧫⧫

Ezra hears someone calling his name. But they seem so far away. He tries to move towards the voice but it's like moving through syrup. He lets himself sink back.

⧫⧫⧫

The wound is deep and spurts with blood as you pull out the foam, painting your hands in the same red as the sky outside. Pursing your lips, you apologise to him, hoping he doesn’t feel the pain. Cleaning the wound takes time but as far as you can tell the spear managed to avoid all his organs so you seal it up as best you can. The lack of oxygen is what has you truly worried, who knows what damage could have been done in the time it took you to drag him to the pod. With your medication he might heal but you can’t be sure. You fight off the thoughts of what you’d have to do if he never did wake up. Would you be able to bury him?

You sleep curled to his side, a hand on his shoulder. It’s fitful, plagued by nightmares of waking up to find him cold. Every time you wake up crying, you watch his chest rise and fall and pray, he’ll make his way back to you.

⧫⧫⧫

The next thing he hears is a clang followed by a curse, then it's silent again

⧫⧫⧫

Ezra made it through the night. To distract yourself from worrying he might never wake, you wrap him up warm and begin to repair the pod. It’s slow work but its methodical movements help regulate your breathing. Until you hear a grunt. You drop whatever you were working on and swear to yourself as you kneel by him. But he’s no more present than before. Perhaps you had imagined it. Prayed so hard you’d began torturing yourself. You look over him, how could you go on without him. No one to make you laugh, or care what happens to you. It’s justice you suppose, just another thing for you to feel guilty about. You suppose you’ll go on just to keep feeling that guilt.

Again, you barely sleep.

⧫⧫⧫

And then, as if surfacing from a dive, Ezra opens his eyes. His back hurts. He works out why as, slowly, he identifies the ceiling above him. He's lying on the floor with nothing more than a pillow and a blanket that's been tucked all around him up to his neck. He wrestles his arms free, stretching them above his head and then prodding his stomach, it's tender but the wound is closed. Then he sits up with a grunt.

You're stretching up to try and pull a ration bar of the top shelf of your measly kitchen cupboard. You swear and turn to find something to climb on and then you see Ezra.

He's sitting up, grinning from ear to ear. You nearly jump a foot into the air and then you’re frozen to the spot. He chuckles to himself and clambers to his feet, it looks difficult but you aren't sure you can move to help so you stay put as he supports himself along the wall and approaches you.

“Little bird, you are the most incredible, fascinating, stubborn creature I have ever laid my eyes upon.” And then he's pulling you into his chest, wrapping you in such a grip it's a little difficult to breath but you don't mind. You just hug him back, if gently, very aware of how he'd recently been stabbed. He buries his nose in your hair. “How long was I out?”

“Three days, I managed to melt down some meds to inject you so you… well, so you actually healed. Oh, and then I fixed the pod but it didn't feel safe to take off what with you having a hole in you.”

He laughs, you can feel it rolling through his body and it makes you grin. It's so alive.

“May I also ask why I was on the floor?” That's your cue to laugh to.

“Do you honestly think I could lift you onto the cot?”

“Frankly little bird, I didn't think you could have got me to the pod. You are certainly a force to be reckoned with and not one to be underestimated.”

You close your eyes and breath him in. “I almost didn't make it.” He just shushes you running his hands up and down your sides.

“No point wondering what could have been birdie. You saved me.” You look up at him, his eyes are wet as he smiles down at you. “What I did to deserve it may evade my knowledge forever, but it must have been spectacular.”

You feed Ezra and then force him to stay still for the day. Even as he protests you don't really think he minds, finally getting an opportunity to finish reading ‘The Power’. You sleep curled into his side.

The next day you leave.

⧫⧫⧫

Two days floating in space before the station slings back to pick you up. The sense of relief is immense. Ezra is in the seat next to you, any other person telling such a graphic tale about a flight home wrong would've sprung anyone with nerves but you just grin. You made it, you both made it.

“Even split, little bird? Although, I can't say I find the idea of us separating particularly appealing.”

You grin, “Me neither, although I do maintain the even split, you save my arse, I save yours.”

He smirks, “I'll have your arse anytime” you smack his knee with what was formerly his copy of ‘Perfume’. He scowls playfully, tossing his own book aside and tugging you into his lap.

And then looks totally bemused as your mouth drops open, “Holy shit I can't believe I forgot!” You hop off him and he grumbles at you but watches curiously wondering what you'd forgotten that was so important. You kneel to open your pack, pulling out a gem case. A huge gem case.

“Where in that abhorrent hell did you manage to acquire that?”

“I think it was why I was told to bring down that ship, I picked it up in the bunk room.”

It's locked but you happily spend the next half an hour gently taking apart one screw at a time. Ezra watches you the whole time, not even thinking about your bounty, just enjoying how you hum to yourself and smile every time a screw comes loose, batting his hands away every time he grabs at you. It's domestic.

You meet his eye as the last screw comes loose and he joins you kneeling on the floor. “Let's not get our hopes up” you say, “We've got more than enough to last a while whatever happens.” He nods and you pull the case open.

His jaw drops. “That is remarkable.”

You meet his eye and laugh. You've never seen him look so surprised. There are three gems inside, each one about the size of your head.

He lets out a huff of laughter “I’m beginning to suspect there was nefarious business afoot on that ship…”

“Ezra?”

“Mmhm?”

“I think I'd like to go somewhere with a sea.”

“Little bird, I suspect that can be arranged” Then he kisses you, pulling you against him.

You wriggle back, “Even split?” He just grins and bites at your ear.

In no time at all you’re in his lap as you pull off each other’s clothes. He rubs his beard against your bare neck to make you giggle as he nibbles it, hands roaming all over you. You nip his collar bone making him groan, it flips a switch in him and seconds later he’s grabbing your hips to position you over his cock.

He lowers you down so slowly it makes you squirm and whimper and beg him to move.

He grins at you, catlike, “We’ve got all the time in the world, little bird. And I intend to use it”

⧫⧫⧫

Hours later you wake. Ezra is snoring quietly into your neck tempting you to rouse him. You’re thirsty though, so, reluctantly, you peel his arms off you to get a glass of water. As you return your toe catches on your suit where it lies on the floor. As you reach to move it your ring drops out of the pocket, clinking quiet onto the ground.

You bend to pick it up and look at Ezra, then back at the ring. Had you not gone through all those years in that gang of pirates, you’d never have found him, never got to save his arm or his life. You both might be dead. You had been right; you couldn’t change your past. But you’d never know what else might have happened. There’s still guilt, there always will be. But you feel a little lighter.

You put on the ring and return to Ezra. He pulls you against his chest without waking.

You smile.

~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @engineeredfiction @mothandpidgeon @sleep-tight1

#ezra prospect #prospect 2018 #ezra prospect x reader #ezra prospect x you #ezra prospect smut #ezra prospect 2018 #pedro pascal #ezra fanfiction #ezra prospect fanfiction #ezra x you #ezra x reader #ezra prospect x afab reader #smut #oh god I've done it

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thebadbatch · 3 years ago

Note

Hey there! i was wondering if I could request a one shot with either Hunter or echo? with the sad prompt 7 & 9 as well as the scenario prompt 1?

A/N: Thank you for your request! I really hope you didnt mind me using both members - I couldn't choose! I hope you enjoy! :D

Hunter & Echo x Drunk!Reader

Plot: You're going through a tough time mentally, the last few missions taking a hold on them. With the comfort of some alcohol, Hunter and Echo are at your side in seconds to support you.

Warnings: Mentions of strong negative emotions, alcohol and being drunk.

--------------

Loyalties.

Things had been way beyond tough through your newest missions with The Bad Batch. Missions were of course always difficult and unfortunately very dangerous, but things hit harder during the past mission and you had no idea why. Putting everything down to stress, you walked into the area of the Havoc Marauder where food and drink was kept. You were way too desperate for something to take your mind off of things and hopefully numb some of these feelings that were ripping through your body. It felt like you could cry, tears gathering in your eyes but you also felt like you could go out and do some knife practice on some trees to rid of the anger bubbling within your chest. Opening the cooling section, you grabbed whatever alcoholic was left, the batch didn't really drink but they were retrieved as gifts. Once the bottle was in your hand and open, you pushed the control panel and rushed outside not having an absolute clue where you were going as you'd never stepped foot onto this planet before. The rest of the batch had watched you leave, calling out to you in pure concern and attempting to help. Due to feeling all of these numerous emotions filling your body you couldn't hear them calling out your name or feel their light touch against your hand.

"What was that about?" Wrecker asked, rubbing the back of his head in concern and nervousness as a new wave of tension filled the attack shuttle. Hunter shrugged as he stood, flipping his knife back into its hold and watching you walk into the night chugging down whatever concoction lingered within the bottle. Echo leaned to feel the night air against his face, watching you grow further and further away from him.

"I have no idea." Hunter's words sliced through the tense atmosphere, turning to face Tech who was the most logical during any given situation. "What should we do?" Tech sat in silence for a moment, considering all options before settling on one after typing away into his datapad.

"Considering their actions I'd say to go after them- they need you both right now. Emotions can be extremely fragile and complex, I believe they need comfort-" Before Tech could even complete his rant, both Echo and Hunter rushed out into the dark desperate to hold you and attempt to make everything feel better. The grass was long as it practically gripped at their boots, swiftly still managing to avoid any rocks that blocked their path.

"This way." Hunter motioned, hearing your rapid breathing as they approached you slumped against a rock with a tear stained face and an empty bottle. Echo sighed gently at this, his face filled with concern as he knew about your extremely low alcohol tolerance. They both knew you'd be a little out of it and fragile, but they didn't expect your crying to fill the night air. Both men crouched beside you, Echos hand resting against your shoulder and Hunters hand against your leg as they did their best to comfort you.

"Y/n," Echo spoke gently, your red cheeks covered in tears made him feel like he could break. You were like their life-line so when you were down they most certainly felt your pain. "What's going on, Mesh'la?" You responded with a stifled sob as you shook your head, bringing your knees to your chest for some sort of comfort.

"We can't help unless you talk to us, my love." The words they used any other day would have brought a beautiful smile to your face, but it just didn't work today.

"Leave me alone, please." Your voice sounded so broken, hiccups filling the pause.

"We won't ever leave you, y/n - talk to us please?" At this point you couldn't help but cry even more, gripping your clothes for more mustered comfort and warmth.

"Why can't you just leave me?" Your voice was borderline a shout due to your crying but that didn't stop them from flinching a little at this very rare tone. "I don't want to be here, everything's too much - just leave me for a while." Hunter brought you against his chest as Echo held your clenched fists which soon at his soothing touch, became gentle hands that held his own.

"We won't ever leave you, understand?" Hunter's voice was stern, but it seemed to ground you even with all of the alcohol buzzing within your mind. "You're our priority y/n." Your cries had since stopped at their soothing touch and words - your head clearing from the waves of emotion and just leaving you with the alcohol blurring your thoughts.

"Where do your loyalties lie?" You asked, hiding into Hunter a little more as he played with your hair with Echo gently rubbing your hands. The question confused them at first, but Echo just nodded toward Hunter to answer the question with him especially since it may help you. Echo took a gentle breath as your hand ensured it was holding his own.

"Mine lay with the republic even if it's gone, and it lies with our team here - The Bad Batch." You nodded at his response, humming softly in understanding before gazing at Hunter for his response.

"Mine lay with The Bad Batch, my brothers and you." The tears soon stopped and gentle sniffles replaced them. " How about yours?" You were quick to answer as it had been playing on your mind for the past few missions.

"You two and the others." They smiled at your reply as Hunter stood holding you in his arms and walking slowly back to the Marauder to get you some well needed and well deserved rest. "Please don't ever leave me?" Your voice pleaded, the question sounding desperate for their affirmation that they weren't leaving you any time soon.

"Y/n, we won't ever leave your side. I state upon the galaxy." Giving a soft nod, your eyes shut against Hunter's chest - being lulled to your slumber with Echos words.

Once they had finally returned, the other members couldn't help but sigh out in relief that you were safe and back with them - clearly calmed against the emotions that fought you.

"Good, they're safe." Tech smiled, pushing his goggles up as he hummed. "I'll prepare some medicine for when they wake, drinking truly isn't their strongest skill." The others chuckled lightly before Echo shushed them, afraid they'd wake your tired state up.

"Let's get them to bed." Hunter nodded toward Echo, leading him into his room and laying you against his bed - both boys laying beside you to protect you and be there for when you wake, ready to do whatever they can do to make life less stressful for you. Once you woke, you knew Tech would be shoving medicine, water and a ration bar in your face whilst telling you about every single hangover cure known to the galaxy. Wrecker would be teasing you about stealing the drink whilst Crosshair would grin at you when seeing you wrapped in both Hunters and Echos arms. For now though you had the entire night to lay in their arms, sure and protected with their loyalties belonging with you and yours with them.

"Goodnight, Mesh'la"

#the bad batch #Tbb #Hunter #Echo #Fanfiction #Starwars #x reader

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ethereaiin · 4 years ago

Text

Reprieve | genshin impact

synopsis; you liked her. you really, really liked her. yet despite how you felt, no one else could say the same.

features; you, eula, and some mentions of amber.

[au]

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

There was something about Eula Lawrence that attracted attention no matter where she went. Maybe it was due to her outstanding work within the Knights of Favonius, or her undeniable beauty. You weren’t sure, all you knew was you were as taken with her as just about everyone else.

Except, they. . . didn’t exactly share the same thoughts about her as you did.

People were wary of her. You could tell from the way they whispered behind her back as she passed and how they refused to meet her gaze as if looking her in the eyes would curse their very being. They sneered in her direction, spewing words you would never dare to repeat and you’ve even seen vendors refuse her service. To the people of Mondstadt, she was never seen as a good person.

It was quite obvious what the reason for their behavior was. Being a native to Mondstadt yourself, you were privy to that knowledge, yet you didn’t really understand why those around you continued to be blinded by the past. Most were afraid the aristocracy would once again rise in power, yet you never saw that as justification for the terrible way they treated her. The Lawrence name had done well enough to paint her in the worst light from the day she was born. But to you, Eula resembled nothing of the old Lawrence clan or even her brazen uncle. She was different, you were sure of it.

You only wished everyone else could see her the way you did.

Amber was the one who first introduced her to you. While she was reserved and distant in the beginning, your persistence in sticking by her side through the years slowly opened her up to you. After sharing countless conversations with Eula, you could see how her words could be mistaken for mild threats and paired along with her cold tone; you could understand how she became a person to be feared. Still, you never thought of her any differently. There was hidden meaning in everything she said and while most people would have taken her words of having ‘vengeance’ at face value, you instead found it amusing. Your constant giggling caused you to become one of the many people who crossed her, yet she never asked you to stop nor did she seem as if she were seriously irritated. Instead, she brought you gifts and took you on outings as an odd way to prepare you for her coming revenge. Though you were never sure what said vengeance would entail. What you did know, however, was that she was unbelievably kind. Even if she would never admit it herself, you knew it for a fact.

Eula was a strong girl. Both physically and mentally, she was well fortified. You knew the things the people of Mondstadt said to her never once affected her nor did it crumble her resolve to prove them wrong. Their scorn and attempts to tear her down were met with a promise of revenge and an icy look that completely differed from the insincere threats she’d given you. She would do anything within her power to become the very thing her family hated and it was proven by how fast she was rising through the ranks within the knights. Seeing how dedicated she was made you want to support her and along with Amber, you did your best to improve her image within the city.

You wanted the world to know just how good Eula Lawrence was. Her every achievement was proudly spoken by you to anyone willing to listen and you did your best to convince others to give her a chance. Though you were not as well known as Amber, your family name carried a bit of weight among the people to at least make them reconsider their prejudices against Eula. You wanted nothing more than for the city she grew up in to finally feel like a place she could call home. It was your one wish and, among many things, something you felt you greatly owed her. The numerous gifts and friendly affection she'd shower you with were all too much to leave unpaid.

Your feelings towards her were far too vast to put into words. Nothing you could say or do would ever hope to convey all of them precisely. Even you didn’t know the exact emotion of what you felt towards her. You only knew of your desire to see her, to talk to her and be with her. It was all that mattered to you and for the longest, you were happy with just staying by her side.

Yet there was something that was always bothering you. Over the years you were witness to the great accomplishments both Eula and Amber made. In both body and mind, they became people who were strong. Strong enough to fight for what they thought was right, but most of all, strong enough to fight for themselves. But you. . . you were unchanged. You were still the same demure, polite and weak girl you always were. Too afraid to speak up for yourself and too afraid of change. It made you feel utterly helpless and in comparison to them, you felt ashamed.

“Stop seeing that girl.”

Your father’s words felt more weighted than they should have been. Under that single demand, you felt crushed and it was enough to halt the beat of your heart for a second. You stopped what you were doing, the half embroidered handkerchief hung from one hand while the other held a string of white thread and needle. You were halfway finished with your newest present to Eula until he barged in your room looking as if he were about ready to snap something in half. You didn’t think he cared about you. He never seemed to have before. Yet all of the sudden he’s making demands of you as if he hadn’t ignored your very existence up until this moment. If it weren’t for your knowledge of how short-tempered your father was, you would have already retaliated with a snap of your own. Though that would have only ended with you earning yet another bruise to cover up. When you finally regained your composure, you glanced up at him after placing Eula’s unfinished gift atop the table before you.

“Who?” You blinked, your expression feigning ignorance. “Amber?”

You knew your acting could only get you so far, but you hoped it would be enough to fool him. Yet, despite your best efforts, you could see he was not at all convinced. The middle of his brow twitched, creasing deeply as his nerves were already beginning to give way. You could see his anger. It was apparent on his aged face which turned redder with each passing second. For some reason, unknown to you, he never did have an ounce of patience to spare you. Every remark that even sounded like a disagreement to what he asked of you was either met with a rough slap to the cheek or, if you were lucky, a day locked in your room without dinner. He was especially sensitive when it came to his work and this, you figured, must have had something to do with it. Your blatantly open support of Eula must have reached him by now and you could only guess that it was beginning to hinder the family business. The Lawrence's, after all, was a cursed family. The fallen remnants of what remained of the aristocracy that no one in Mondstadt wanted anything to do with.

As soon as the wrong girl’s name left your lips, you weren’t even given time to prepare yourself before you were sent hurdling out of your seat with a newly bruised cheek. From your place on the ground, you warily stared up at him with a hand cradling your hot and painfully throbbing face. You were somewhat used to this, yet no matter how many times you experienced his rage, you could never get used to the pain. Tears glossed over your eyes and gathered at the corners. You could feel them streaking down the apples of your cheeks and, on the side he hit, meeting with the tips of your fingers. He looked down at you with irritation as if the mere sight of your crying form was enough to set him off once more. You were well aware you were nothing but a nuisance to him. He voiced it often enough to you.

“Don’t act innocent,” He spits, eyes narrowing and jaw clenched. “I raised you better than that.” A bold lie that would have had you laughing if not for your immense pain. “The Lawrence’s are no good. If you go see that girl again, don’t bother coming home.”

He left just as quickly as he came. He spared you no further glance as he slammed the door of your room close before clicking it locked. You seemed to have hit the jackpot with getting both of his favorite punishments in one go. Not only had left you injured, but he’d also ensure you wouldn’t go running off behind his back. Your hand fell from your cheek as the painful throbbing died into a buzzing numbness. The silent tears that rolled down your cheeks had done little to truly encompass the pain you felt. At one point in your life, you wanted nothing more than that man’s affection. But that was long in the past and as the years rolled by, he'd done nothing for you other than present bruises for you to hide and humiliation you were meant to take without protest. He was a terrible man who saw you as nothing more than the reason for the death of his beloved person. Somewhere down the line, maybe even he had forgotten, that your mother was just as precious to you as she was to him.

Leaving this place wouldn’t be so hard for you as he may have thought. Even if he had merely said it as a threat and meant nothing by it, you took it to heart. This house was rarely ever a true home to you and you often felt more welcome outside among your friends than you ever did here. The choice he presented to you wasn’t difficult, nor did you find yourself doubting your decision. There was no way you would ever choose a man who’d never shown you kindness over Eula who undoubtedly cared for you, albeit in the most peculiar way unique only to her.

This was finally your chance to leave and you’d gladly take it without hesitation. Although you knew you could never truly escape your father within the walls of Mondstadt. You needed to get farther away from him. Liyue was the only other place you could go that could grant you that wish whilst allowing you to stay somewhat in contact with your friends. The trip would be long and arduous and most of all it required money. While you had a little from the various jobs you took on, you were almost positive you could gain the rest from selling the small amount of jewelry you possessed. They were precious things to you. The various jeweled necklaces, bracelets, and the single portrait being personal belongings of your mother that your father would have never let you near.

It was only by chance that you were able to snag them while he was away on business and since then you had them tucked away in a small velvet bag hidden under your mattress. You’d rarely ever taken them out, only glancing at them when you missed her the most. The portrait of her was old, the color almost fading completely, yet it was enough for you. Your father never kept pictures of her. All of them were stashed away somewhere deep within the house where you weren’t allowed to go. If it weren’t for you finding the small bag of jewelry and what could have been her last picture, you would have forgotten what she looked like. You were young when she died, barely the age of six, yet you could still loosely remember some things about her. Mainly it was her smile you could recall. You remembered it to be tender and filled with warmth. It was the by-product of her love for you and since her untimely passing, you've yearned to see it again.

Your mother, the kind person you hazily remembered her as wouldn’t have wanted you to continue living like this.

Packing was easy enough. You barely had any belongings to your name and most of everything was able to snugly fit into one bag. The last thing you needed was the jewelry, which you securely placed inside your coat, and you were ready to set off towards what you could only hope to be a better life. As you neared the window of your room, the tips of your fingers pressed against the pane, you glanced behind you at your room once more. While you possessed no good memories of this place, its image would never leave you. It was the room you grew up in and a place you could not so easily forget. You were really going to abandon everything, leaving behind everyone who ever cared for you without so much as a goodbye. The thought of doing so made you feel heavy with shame, but you knew you just didn’t have the time. At any moment your father could walk through your bedroom door and catch you mid-escape. If he did, you knew you’d never get a chance like this again.

Your gaze dropped, landing on the table in your room. The unfinished handkerchief you were making for Eula still lay on its surface and it served to remind you of just what you were giving up by running away. Your friends would undoubtedly be hurt from your sudden disappearance and maybe even Eula would come to hate you, thinking you were no different from those that openly mocked her. You never wished for her to think of you as such, but for now, it was alright. You could deal with that if it meant that she would forget about you faster. You never wanted to become a burden to her, nor did you want to hinder the great progress she made towards her goal. You just only wished there was something you could remember her by.

You stepped away from the window for a second, hastily grabbing the handkerchief and the spool of thread and needle that was attached to it before stuffing it into the pocket of your coat. Finishing it would be enough for you. Even if that meant you were never going to be able to give it to her like you wanted to.

Once you finally left your house, it was already past sunset. It was around this time that you knew Eula would be getting out of training for the day and you’d made sure to avoid the usual path she took towards her home. There were days you used to meet her at the central fountain for dinner or even at the doors of the knight’s headquarters. Today you were meant to do the latter. Never once had you not shown up for your promised outings with her and today would be your first and last offense. You just hoped she wouldn’t hold it too much against you.

The central marketplace wasn’t bustling with as many people as it had during midday. The crowds were thinning and some vendors were already packing up their stalls for the day. You were greeted by some of the people you knew, many of them blatantly staring at the large bandage on your cheek yet never asking what the cause of it was. They mainly bid you a good day and even sent you off with some gifts. As you bit into one of the apples given to you, you had a feeling they might have already known what kind of person your father was. Maybe you were not as good at hiding your injuries as you thought. Or was he just not good at hiding his hate for you?

Nighttime was close to falling upon you. The sky shifted from its orange hue into deep indigo and the stars were beginning to poke through to shine in all their glory. The main gate to Mondstadt stood in front of you, towering over you in height and your sudden smallness in comparison almost intimidated you. You really were leaving. That might have been your original goal, yet it hadn’t truly sunk in until the moment you were standing before the city's massive gates. You’ve been outside of Mondstadt on numerous occasions, but never with the intent of leaving forever. Your chest felt heavy with a mixture of various emotions and your eyes burned with unshed tears.

There was a part of you that wished to turn back and just bear with your father’s presence like you had for all these years. This part of you was scared. Fearful of what lies beyond the safety of the walls surrounding Mondstadt and afraid of taking the first step to true freedom. Here, you would never become anything more than a prisoner to the unjust guilt of your mother’s death. You would never gain the happiness you truly desired, nor would you ever become the person strong enough to stand by Eula’s side. You wanted nothing more than to be different and staying here would not allow you that freedom to grow.

You steeled yourself, hands clutching tightly at the strap of your bag as you continued on towards the main gates. You had no plans of stopping any longer, nor did you allow yourself even a second of hesitation. Now was the time to go. Now was your very last cha-

“[Name]?”

With widened eyes, your head whipped in the direction of the familiar voice. Standing just a few feet away from you was Eula. She looked at you with momentary confusion, her expression mellowing out as she eyed both the packed bag resting at your hip and the bandage on your face.

“E-Eula. . .” You muttered as she stepped closer towards you. One of your hands, unconsciously delving towards the flap of your bag as if to prevent her from seeing what was inside. “What are you doing here?”

“Is that what you’re going to say to me?” She asks with crossed arms and a stern expression. From the look of her face, you already knew what she was going to say. “You have a lot of nerve standing me up when you were the one who wanted to meet today. . .”

You weren’t really expecting her to show up at this moment, not when you initially thought she’d go home rather than look for you. Yet, here she stood. In front of you with a creased brow and a rather childish pout on her lips that would have normally made you laugh if not for the current circumstances.

“Sorry,” You apologized, your hands relaxing at your side now that the initial surprise dispersed. “I kinda got into it with my father. . .” You laughed a bit to ease your own nerves as one of your hands anxiously rubbed at the cloth bandage on your cheek. You knew your injury could never escape her. It was far too big for you to hide this time. “But don’t worry, I’m fine!”

You did your best to place the most assuring smile on your face as you looked back up to her. But she didn’t look all too convinced. Instead, her eyes conveyed something far different than what you were used to seeing from her. Her expression was soft. Far too soft for someone who was never forward with feelings that pertained to herself. She was worried for you.

“Where are you going?” Her tone too was so soft and gentle. As if she were afraid you were going to run away the moment she raised her voice. The crease in her brow returned and you realized she finally understood what your intentions were. You knew it would only be a matter of time until it all clicked into place for her, but you hoped you would have been out the city gates and halfway to Liyue by then.

She reached for your hand that hovered over your injured cheek, tenderly cradling it in her gloved one as she held onto you. This was her way of keeping you from going anywhere, you knew her touch might have meant nothing to her, but it made your heart feel as if it were going to burst. You felt trapped by her gaze and you attempted to formulate something to say or an excuse to give. Eula was not good for you right now. She made you hesitate. She made you want to stay.

But you couldn’t. Not anymore.

“Out.” You finally answered, stepping away from her and pulling your hand from her gentle hold. Your feigned smile returned to your lips. “But only for a bit, I’ll be back.”

It hurt to lie to someone who was always so honest with you. Even more so when that person was Eula herself. You never wanted to say your goodbye like this and if it were up to you, you wished to have just silently disappeared from her life like you were planning. You quickly turned away from her, the flash of hurt across her face from your obvious lie was crumbling your resolve. You no longer held hesitance in your steps as you strode out of the main gates and behind you, you could hear Eula rushing to follow. At this rate, the tears that were building up were about ready to burst. She wasn’t making this parting any easier than it could have been. You suppose you only had yourself to blame. If you hadn’t liked her as much as you did, maybe she wouldn’t be so adamant in trying to stop you now.

“Wait, [name]!” She grasped your arm, halting you to a complete stop. Her expression appeared more panicked than it was once before. It was only until you were in her hold that she regained some composure. Though her face was still wrought with worry. “Let me escort you to wherever you’re going. It’s dangerous out here, especially at night. You’ll let me do that at least, won’t you?”

Your lips parted, a refusal already at the tip of your tongue but before you could decline her offer, you were interrupted by the distant shouted calls of your name. Your father knows. Eula seemed to have noticed too as she looked briefly over her shoulder before looking back at you. If her suspicions weren’t already confirmed, then your fearful expression would have sealed the deal. You were running away. Now even she knew that.

“Eula, let go.” You attempted to pull yourself away from her but her grip was tight. “Please, I need to go.”

For several moments she looked conflicted and the feeling of dread only continued to increase with the nearing proximity of the shouted calls. If your father found you now, he’d never let you go. You pulled your arm again, this time with more desperation and this seemed to have brought her out of whatever thoughts she may have been engrossed in.

“Springvale.” She utters to you and you look at her with confusion. “I’ll meet you at Springvale. Wait for me.”

Her words border a demand and plead. While she was never one to beg, her tone was desperate enough to insinuate her words were a helpless request. Although she still looks troubled and hesitant, she lets you go. You waste no time in putting a bit of distance between yourself and the gates and it was only until you were nearing the bridge that you looked back at her. She stared after you and the difference from earlier was that she appeared to be more resolved than she was previously. You didn’t know what was going through her mind, but you hoped she had no plans of dragging you back to Mondstadt.

“Midnight. I’ll only wait for you until then!” You shout towards her and turn away before she’s given the chance to respond. You don’t know if she heard you but in the end, it wouldn’t matter. You weren’t planning on waiting past the time allotted. No matter what, you were leaving.

You had never ventured this far from Mondstadt. As a person who had no training in combat or in possession of a vision, you weren’t even allowed past the bridge without either Amber or Eula accompanying you. From a young age, it was drilled into your head that there were dangerous monsters roaming the plains outside of Mondstadt’s walls and so you were fully expecting your path from the city to Springvale to be anything but peaceful. You were surprised to find it was the complete opposite. It was quite relaxing. The scenery, despite it being nighttime, was still a sight to behold. Instead of monsters and other frightening things, you were instead accompanied with only the ambiance of the evening that included the dissonant melodies of crickets and the hoots of distant owls.

Springvale was easy to navigate even without the handy map you thankfully thought to have nabbed from your father’s study months ago. While you never planned to run away at that time, it was merely your curiosity of the outside world that drove you to take it for yourself. Your coincidental foresight thankfully saved you from getting lost and ungraciously becoming a monster’s next meal. It may have been proven useless for this small detour, it was sure to help you out in the nearing future. Especially if you were bound to make the trek all the way to Liyue by yourself.

The small village of Springvale was definitely more quaint than you imagined. You heard much about it from Sara as she once told you it was mainly occupied by hunters who provided quality meat to many of Mondstadt’s restaurants, including the one she worked at. It was peaceful here. The lull of the gentle breeze swaying the surrounding trees and the sound of nearby rushing waters. It was certainly peaceful and though you wished to explore further into the village, you didn’t wish to alarm anyone of your sudden presence. Especially so late at night. Instead, you opted to seat yourself on the ground at the village’s entrance with your back against the Springvale sign. You didn’t have a chance to discuss a meeting place with Eula, so you determined this would be the easiest place to spot her.

That was if she came.

Midnight was fast approaching and from your spot on the ground, you could see the stars glittering above you brighter than they had hours ago. Among the many thoughts in your head, you couldn’t help but wonder why Eula insisted you wait for her. The expressions she showed you during that split moment you were set to leave, was different from anything you’ve ever seen before. She was always a blunt person, straightforward in all of her words, and never was one who held a single doubt in any of her decisions. You liked that part about her. You thought her honesty was refreshing. To see her look so troubled, conflicted by something you did made you curious. You could remember her pursed lips, furrowed brows, and the disheartened look in her eyes as if the realization of you leaving deeply saddened her. Were you truly that precious of a person for her to make such an expression? Was her concern for you merely out of friendship or had it meant something more? In the end, did it even matter? You were leaving and there was little to no chance you’d ever see her again. In the future, she may forget you, which might have been something you were hoping for but the thought of it still saddened you. You never wanted to be forgotten by someone you cherished.

Your gaze dropped from the sky, glancing down at your lap where your now finished handkerchief lied. You eyed the small blue and white flower embroidered near the corner of the square cloth. It was a Glaze Lilly, a flower you’ve seen in a book and one that deeply reminded you of Eula herself. Your lips curved into a smile, the tip of your finger tracing over the light blue-colored thread. You thought it was a fitting gift and even if you weren’t so sure if you were going to give it to her now, it would be enough to serve as a reminder of your time together with her. It would be a keepsake that you’d never let go of.

Your ears perk at the sound of approaching footsteps and through the darkness of the night, you were able to see Eula perfectly. Slung across her chest was a bag filled with something you couldn’t quite see and poking over her shoulder was the handle of her weapon. She held a pensive expression on her face as she continued on the path towards Springvale and it was only when she spotted your seated form that she seemingly snapped out from whatever thoughts occupied her. You rose up to your feet to greet her, dusting off your pants before adjusting your bag to rest more comfortably against you. The handkerchief you finished embroidering was now tucked away in your pocket and you nervously glided your thumb against the soft cloth. You finally broke the silence the moment she stopped just in front of you.

“I didn’t think you’d come.” You admitted, your gaze holding her own for a few seconds before dropping towards the bag hanging at her side. You furrowed your brow, glancing back up at her with the question already at the tip of your tongue. “What’s that for?”

“Why wouldn’t I show up? A promise is a promise. . . even if I don’t quite understand what you’re doing.” She answers as she lies a hand on the bag on her hip. “And this? it's stuff I brought that would be useful for our trip.”

You blink at her words, silently processing them as she takes a look at your considerably lighter luggage. “It was a good thing I did because, from the looks of it, you didn’t bring much.”

“Wait- wait, what do you mean ‘our trip’? You’re coming with me?” Your tone was risen slightly, but not enough to attract attention. While you were taken off guard by her words, you were still mindful of the fact that it was quite late into the night.

Eula laughed through her nose, smiling down at you faintly as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Why do you think I kept you waiting? If it were up to me, I would have escorted you all the way over here, but you looked like you were in a rush.” When you appeared unsatisfied with her vague answer, she breathed a sigh. “I needed permission. Of course, I can’t stay with you forever, but at least I can safely take you where you want to go.”

For a moment there, you really thought that she was going to leave everything behind just to come with you. But that was a ridiculous thought. Eula was diligent in everything she did and that included her duties as a knight. She would never abandon them for selfish reasons and you could never ask her to. You smiled, your heart fluttering with the knowledge that she had already done so much for you without you even asking. She didn’t press you for answers and she didn’t ridicule you for your decision to leave. She merely wanted to help and right now, you needed that more than ever. The journey would be dangerous but with her as an escort, you were guaranteed a safe passage.

“Thank you,” You said as you turned towards the main path towards Liyue. You waited until she stepped to your side to continue. “I was in a rush so I didn’t have time to prepare much. I appreciate it a lot.”

Eula didn’t say anything for a few minutes, simply walking by your side until she finally spoke again. Her voice took on that gentle tone once more, the one you remembered briefly hearing back near Mondstadt’s gates. It always took you by surprise with how softspoken she could be.

“Can I ask why?” You knew exactly what she was referring to with that question. “Why do you want to leave Mondstadt?” You expected it and you felt you owed her at least an explanation.

“For a lot of reasons.” You smiled again, meeting her gaze for a moment before looking back at the dirt path before you. “But if I tell you them, you can’t tell Amber. They’d make her sad and Amber’s not the type of person to be sulking around.”

“I won’t.”

You glanced at her, your head tilted slightly, and your smile widened. “Promise?”

She audibly sighed, throwing you a mildly irritated look that you laughed off. “Fine, I promise.”

You looked up at the sky, clutching onto the strap of your bag for comfort. The silence of the night combined with the twinkling stars above made you feel at ease. Eula’s presence had also added to the comfort and for once your own feelings didn’t suffocate you. She, alone, brought that sense of security. “I felt like there was nothing really for me there.”

“Everyone was changing in their own ways, growing to become incredible people.” You glanced over at her, the tender smile never leaving your face. “Especially you and Amber. The two of you were getting closer toward your own goals and I. . .”

You looked away, finding the ground to be far more welcoming. Your honesty scared you, yet you didn’t dare stop telling her the truth. Eula wanted the real reason for you leaving, you couldn’t ignore it nor could you make up some excuse to give her. She deserved far better than that.

“I wasn’t changing at all.” You admitted, your smile turning bitter before fading completely. “I think I was growing too complacent with everything and after a while, I really started to hate myself.”

Eula suddenly grabbed your upper arm, halting you to a stop as she forcefully turned you towards her. While her grip on you wasn’t strong enough to be painful, you could tell it would be difficult to break away from her if you chose to do so. But you didn’t want to. She leaned into you, almost as if she were afraid losing sight of you now meant to lose you forever. You stared into her eyes, taking in the various expression of hurt, anger, and concern. Once again you found her worrying for you when she didn’t need to. Though, you could admit you did find this hidden side of her to be quite adorable.

“Why are you talking like that? If I had know-”

You stopped her by placing both of your hands on either side of her face and squishing her cheeks slightly as you grinned. You could have never imagined a time when you could touch her so freely, yet she didn’t look as if she minded nor did she avoid your touch. She merely looked at you, curious about what you were going to say. “Don’t worry so much, Eula, and let me finish. I wasn’t done explaining.”

You stepped away, hands leaving her visage, yet her grip on you never faltered. Her gloved hand slid down from your arm to join with your hand. It kept you from creating that distance you thought she might have wanted from you and the assuring squeeze you felt against your fingers told you that she too wanted you close.

You honestly felt so helpless when it came to this woman.

“I want to become someone strong.” You finally say, voicing your silent wish. It was a dream you thought impossible to attain at one point, but now that you were free from Mondstadt’s walls, you felt like anything was possible. “I want to be someone worthy to stand by both your’s and Amber’s side. But to do that, I needed to leave. It was only a coincidence that I decided to do it after fighting with my father.”

Her eyes fell to your bandaged cheek and then your joined hands before you felt her squeeze your fingers once more. “I’m sorry for letting it go on for so long. I should have done something. Anything.”

You couldn’t blame her for that. Really, you couldn’t blame anyone. Your father had his own problems to deal with, and while he remained ignorant to the hurt he caused you, there was no use in forcing him to realize his mistakes. He'd never learn. Not until he came to terms with it himself. Maybe one day you might hear an apology from him but for now, all you wanted was to forget and build yourself a new life.

“There’s no need for you to apologize. I just want to be free from the past and already, you’re helping me do that. So don’t ever, for a second, think I blame you.” You said. Then, with a cheeky smile, you added. “Besides, what kind of Lawrence seeks forgiveness from a commoner like me?”

She looked up at you, her eyes wide with surprise before a smile of her own broke out across her face. She looked as if something had dawned upon her; a realization she had yet to see until that very moment. You could never fathom what was going on in the mind of a woman as unique as her. What could have possibly caused her to make a smile a sweet as that?

You felt her fingers intertwine with your own and she pulled you closer to her, the both of your chests touching with the lack of distance. You could feel her breath against the bridge of your nose, brushing slightly against your lips. Your heart pounded heavily against your chest, so hard you thought she might have been able to feel it. You never realized just how captivating her gaze was. In her eyes, you felt as if you could get lost. From afar, you thought they were pretty but up close, they were beautiful.

“You’re right, how dare you make me bow my head.” She whispers as her face nears your own and you could feel her every word against your lips. She was slow enough in her movements to give you time to move away if you chose to, yet you didn't. You wanted to know how she felt towards you and with each passing second, you felt as if you were getting closer to that truth. Her eyes never break away from yours and you don’t move a muscle. This situation was totally new to you, yet you don’t find yourself hating it. Instead, your heart pounds even louder to the point you could hear it ringing in your ears. “For that, you must pay the ultimate price.” Along with the closing distance, your eyes fluttered shut.

Goodbyes never felt freer. Neither had they ever tasted so sweet.

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damn-stark · 4 years ago

Text

Special to me too

This request contains season 4 spoilers!! Spoilers!!

Jean Kirstein x reader

Requested by anon “My question or request: Imagine you are sasha´s best friend and connie´s best friend too, since the first day you met. You are jean`s lover since you were 15. You met him too when you met sasha and connie and the others. Imagine you save sasha and get shot instead of her. you practically jump in her way and save her.”

Warning- Angst, mentions of violence and blood, slight swearing, fluff and just heartbreak :(

——

“Jean!” You exclaim whilst you stand behind Connie and Sasha on the airship, watching with anticipation as Jean finally makes his way above.

“Grab on!” Connie shouts as he and Sasha extend their hands out for Jean to take and pull him up onto the safety of the airship, easing your nerves at the knowledge that he was here now.

When he's fully stable on the floor, he meets your gaze and cups your cheek to assure himself you were here and fine, sharing a silent but assuring look with you before turning to Connie curiously. “Who’s left?”

“Still waiting on Lima Squad.” Connie informs him.

“As far as we know, there’s six casulities.” You add after Connie.

Jean drops his hand from your cheek and focuses his hardened gaze on the ground. “I see. Shit!”

Noticing his frustration, you try to assure him, but Floch interrupts you before you can try. “That’s nothing compared to the damage we did!” Said man thrusts his fist into the air and turns to the rest of your comrades, “it’s a huge victory!” The New Eldian Empires first battle ends in victory!”

“Yeah!”

You sigh at the scene caused by Floch and decide to ignore them so as to not ruin their celebration. Even if you knew that celebrating this early was never good luck.

“Tonight we celebrate in honor of our six fallen heroes!”

You roll your eyes and turn to crouch across from Sasha to keep a careful eye out the still open door, noticing Connie stands up and begins to wander off, while Jean stayed and refocused his gaze on the ground as he contemplated the scene before him, and the battle just fought. “First battle, huh? How many more till the fighting ends? Just how many have to die?”

Just as you’re about to go towards Jean, you feel an arm wrap around you and pull you with them; pulling Sasha and Jean as well. When you look to the side to identify who it had been you see it had been Connie—“anyways I’m just glad we survived again,” Connie adds, making you drop your stunned expression and keep beside him in silence as he continued with his assuring words. “It’s not very fair to the others, but you guys are special....to me.”

Your lips pull into a soft smile at Connie's kind words, and just like Sasha and Jean you let the comfortable silence wrap around you four.

Well that is until Jean breaks the silence and the moment with a snappy comment. “That hurts, idiot. Don’t hug us wearing hard-ass gear.”

You scoff and move to the side, smirking as Connie snapped back. “Excuse me, Jean?! You’re the idiot for always fussing over your tiny-ass beard!”

“Huh?”

You snort and Jean looks over his shoulder to shoot you a pointed gaze that you just reply with an innocent smile.

“That’s right!” Sasha chooses to interject, “why grow a beard if you can’t eat it?”

“Huh?!”

“Say are we eating soon?”

“Yeah,” you pitch in as you grab onto your stomach, “when are we? I’m starving!”

“Not till we reach the Island.” Jean answers you.

“What a useless leader you are.” Sasha quips.

“Do you like my beard, y/n?” Jean asks as he strokes his chin.

Connie and Sasha look at you and you keep looking at Jean to answer truthfully. “I think it suits you, I like it.”

“Of course you say that, y/n!” Connie remarks as he helps you to your feet. “He’s your boyfriend!”

You smile and throw an arm around Jeans shoulders, pulling him close to you to defend him. “So? Even if he was my friend I’d say I like it because he looks sexy with it.”

Sasha and Connie share a look and both gag making you chuckle.

Jean smiles and shoots a smirk to your best friends in front of you. “See she gets it.”

“You know who else has a beard now?” Sasha snickers as she stands up to fold her arms over her chest and stand next to Connie. “Eren. You think he looks sexy too, y/n?”

“Huh?!” You exclaim, “no! Ew! No!”

“That’s right he can’t pull it off like I do,” Jean retorts smugly. “He probably has fleas on his beard.”

“How long do you think it’s been since he’s washed his hair?” Connie wonders out loud.

You shrug, “who knows.”

——

“Did you hear that sound just now?” Sasha asks curiously with her attention over her shoulder.

You follow her gaze and see nothing, you only hear the loud commotion before you that made it impossible to hear much of anything else.

“Hey! Quiet down!” Jean exclaims to the group, only getting the opposite response from Floch.

“Make some noise! Victory!”

You roll your eyes and keep drifting your eyes over your shoulder as you begin to feel paranoid after what Sasha had pointed out.

“Isn’t lobov still out there?” You hear Connie ask Jean.

“No, I think he came aboard.”

“Then we should close—” before you could finish your sentence, from the corner of your eye you see someone unknown roll onboard with a gun in hand. Your eyes peel open and you notice that it’s a little girl; she lifts her gun and you follow where she points to, gasping as you see that it’s pointing at Sasha. You continue to act quick, without a sense of hesitation and push her out of the way, hearing a loud bang and feeling suddenly something sharp hit your stomach.

The sudden painful impact makes you fumble back and lose balance from one moment to the next and fall on the ground, with a hand gripping onto your stomach, over the throbbing wound that now affected you.

“Y/N!” You hear Sasha call out before falling on her knees by your side.

You draw in a deep inhale and blink slowly to look up to the ceiling and feel your pain heighten and your consciousness begin to slowly drift into darkness. You hear commotion around you, but the sound, the reality of what was happening didn’t register in your mind. You only barely manage to grasp Sasha and Connie over you.

“Y/N! Hey!”

“Hang in there! Hey!” Connie exclaims as she tries to tilt his head to him.

“Y/N! Y/N!” You recognize Jean's voice.

The pain you feel on your stomach begins to slowly numb now and your eyes drift to Jean now beside your head. You tug your lips into a faint smile and you reach for his cheek. “Hey...smile for me….don’t worry so much….we made it.” You swallow thickly and continue to feel your consciousness drift, you feel your eyes droop and the pain almost completely disappear. You roll your head to look up and slowly drop your hand from Jean’s cheek, barely capturing what your friends and boyfriend were saying beside you.

“Bandages, now! We’ve gotta stop the bleeding!

“Y/N! Make it to the Island!”

You breathe in another short and shallow breath and blink slowly once more. “You guys...are special...to me too.”

“Y/N, please!”

Once again you see Jean's face in front of you, yet your mind wanders off to somewhere warmer, and your smile tugs wider.

“The ocean…”

——

“...it’s beautiful isn’t it?” You muse as you breathe in the fresh salty air, watch the warm yellow sun reflect on the blue sparkling body of water. You smile as the warm colors of the unbelievable orange, yellow, pink and purple sunset cast over every inch of land and every part of your best friends, Jean and you.

“I could live here forever,” Sasha shares with a beaming grin.

“Me too,” you sigh as you throw yourself back and rest your head on Jean’s lap. “Let’s stay here.”

“And build a house,” Sasha continues as she rests her head on your stomach. “A farm house so we can raise sheep’s and cows.”

“A two story house so I can have a balcony,” Jean pitches in as he gently caresses your arm. “A balcony that overlooks the ocean so I can relax and drink with my girlfriend.”

You grin brightly and tilt your head up so you can admire him admiring the scene in front of you all.

“We can grow our own garden,” Connie adds as well, “grow fruits and vegetables.”

“Yes!” You agree, “and maybe we can hire Niccolo to cook our food.”

“Yes! Yes we can!” Sasha exclaims as she shoots up and tightl wraps her arms around Connie's neck.

Jean snickers and meets your gaze to show his playful and teasing expression. “Seems to me that someone is a little too excited to have our new friend over.”

You snort and smirk. “Hmm I see it too, seems potatoes aren't the only things she loves.”

“Huh?!” Sasha tilts her head around and stares at Jean and you with a pointed glare as she tightens her arms tighter around Connie's neck. “What are you two talking about?”

You shrug and sit up, choosing to answer nonchalantly. “I’ll give you a hint. You love Niccolo like I love Jean.”

“Huh!”

Connie snickers and pulls away from Sashas grip to add to the teasing. “We all see it, you look at him like you look at your food. It’s an easy observation.”

You nod in agreement, “I’ll give you some pointers on how to flatter him,” you clear your throat and pop a piece of fruit inside your mouth. “This is how I got Jean—tell him you like his hair, his eyes, his smile. Laugh when his jokes are funny and compliment his fighting skills.”

Jean smirks and nods, but Connie doesn’t really agree. “Didn’t it take you like five years to confess your feelings to Jean?”

You blink and shake your head, meeting Jean’s amused gaze and scoffing. “Maybe—”

“Actually I had to confess to her first and then she told me.” He interjected cockily. “I saw the way she looked at me and I made my move first.”

Your smile brightens and you rest your head on his shoulder. “Yes and I’m happy he did.”

Sasha and Connie meet each other’s gaze and share a knowing look and then pretend to gag. “Please spare us from that sappy stuff,” Sasha groans.

“Yeah we see enough of that everyday,” Connie adds lazily. “We get it you two love each other.”

“Don’t be bitter, Connie,” Jean remarks playfully, “it’s okay you’ll find someone soon too.”

“Regardless, Sasha,” you cut him off, “promise us, or me, that you’ll tell Niccolo how you feel.”

“Fine,” she sighs, taking the bottle of wine and chugging it.

You look back to the horizon and barely notice that the sun is completely gone. After the lighthearted conversation with your best friends you barely noticed that the only light casted over you now was from the light of the stars and moon.

The sight of the white moonlight and the endless glowing stars reflected on the ocean was breathtaking; “I could stay here forever,” you breathe out with a faint smile. “We still are planning to live here right? Together?”

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itstheendofthegoddamnworld · 4 years ago

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Pain Relief (Jacob Frye x Injured! Reader) Pt. 2

84 years later and I’m only now just posting this. If you don’t remember the first part, I don’t blame you, here the synopsis:

The reader is an assassin and gets badly injured and it’s Jacob Frye who saves her.

PART 1

“ᴼᵖⁱᵘᵐ—ʷʰᵉʳᵉ’ˢ ᵗʰᵉ⁻“

“ˢᵗᵉᵃᵈʸ ʰᵉʳ—ᵖˡᵃᶜᵉ ʰᵉʳ ᵈᵒʷⁿ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ—ᵐᵃᵏᵉ ˢᵘʳᵉ⁻ ᵉⁿᵒᵘᵍʰ ʷᵃᵗᵉʳ—ᵇʳⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵉ ˢʸʳⁱⁿᵍᵉ.”

There was a stir within you, where you could hear the faint sounds of voices around you, too many to count when you laid in a restless place neither final nor positive you were still existing. Darkness cloaked you, enveloping you whole, with the unlimited sense of being numb that seized control of your entire body.

You didn’t bother to open your eyes, knowing that to open your eyes was to continue living, no- you weren’t quite ready for that at this moment. Let me rest. You told yourself as if resting from a deep slumber. Let me rest a bit longer.

You didn’t know how much time was passing whilst left unconscious, but the steady dripping of what sounded like water beside you seemed to be the first thing that irked you to consciousness. The steady relentless sound of what you thought was rain when you groggily came around was actually a bucket, collecting water from a leaking ceiling.

Your surroundings were neither pleasant nor unpleasant: expecting to be back on the train in your bed tucked away, you were actually tucked in the corner of a hospital bed, the creams and ugly greens were a vast contrast that made your eyes water. Your body felt light as if floating as you came around further to your senses.

Then, the pain finally kicked in.

It wasn’t the same feeling of having a bullet lodged into you, but enough to have you aware of what ordeal you had dealt with. It was a discomfort that made you grunt out in pain when you tried to shift, attempting to move or at least sit up, but the shift of a seat behind your head brought you to the awareness you were not alone.

With no weapons on you or even your blade attached to your wrist, your first thought and response were to fight whoever was there if they were a threat. Who knew, you could’ve been in the hands of the Templars, locked away with no way of escaping-”

“Y/N?”

You blinked slowly, a tentative hand was on your shoulder to bring your attention to their soft words, more astonished to see you there. “Easy there, love.”

“Jacob?” Your voice startled you yourself: weak and hoarse from not using it, not attempting again when you saw the figure of the Frye twin kneel beside you. He didn’t waste an opportunity to lean over you and engulf you into a hug as best as he was allowed without harming you, his head buried in the nook of your neck. His warmth and smell were next to engulf you, the similar feel of him made you smile, tenderly reaching a weak hand to stroke the back of his head as best as you could.

There was a shudder that wrecked through the man: noticeable even when he became silent. A silent wrack of a sob passed through him into you, your eyes widening in realisation. “Jacob… I’m here, it’s okay.”

“I thought I lost you back there,” his voice was taut, trying to steady himself. “You went cold as ice in my arms, love. I thought—you were out for four days.”

You could now gather a proper look at him: silently feeling the weight of guilt and pity that spread through your chest, hurting harder than the wound that took over your body with soreness. Jacob seemed the same, but there was not as much of a spark that was there in his hazel eyes, the shell of a man who was once lively and held feverish intent on bringing back control in London through brute strength. The bags under his eyes and gauntness to his face brought the startling revelation to you, his brown locks unkempt and unbrushed, his hat nowhere to be seen. “You… you stayed here with me?” Your voice was wracked with astonishment.

“I didn’t leave, no matter how much Evie begged me back to eat or to sleep. I told her I couldn’t… not until I knew you were awake and stable.” Your hand came to his, squeezing with a little bit more force compared to what you had assumed was the last time. “I was worried, love. I was terrified I’d lose you for good.”

The guilt was hot and immediate in your throat as you felt your eyes well with tears, threatening to spill, “I did this… I caused this strive when I was too stubborn in not waiting. Evie, Henry, you… I didn’t listen to any of you.” You looked away in shame, a single tear spilling finally. “I’m so sorry, Jacob.”

“Oh Y/N,” Jacob’s voice was the only thing to soothe you, reaching over to hold you where he sat on the edge of the bed. He soothed at your hairline carefully, tenderly, placing a sweet kiss on your brow. “I’m thankful you didn’t leave me just yet.” The laugh that came from his was raspy and made you feel warm. “I don’t think I’ll let you leave my sights.”

“No, please don’t. I think it would benefit everyone.” You joined quietly, nuzzling into his chest, feeling how he cradled you close to him, not thinking of letting you go so soon. There was a peaceful pause that fell between the two of you before Jacob seemed to hesitantly speak up. “You never allowed me to repeat it back to you, you know?”

“Repeat what back?”

“You say I have beautiful eyes but I never get the chance to tell you back?” He huskily laughs, squeezing your hip with affection. “Way to leave a gentleman on hold, love.”

Your eyes widened in realisation as you looked up to meet his gaze, “There is a time to say it now.”

“Indeed,” his hand danced along your jawline, his face leaning close to yours. “Has anyone ever told you how lovely your eyes are?”

The blush was quick to come to your face, even from realising how close his face was to yours, never once retreating. “No, you never have.”

“A few times I’ve thought of it, but I didn’t have the courage to tell you,” his voice was warm, breath fanning against your face, his scent so musky was grounding you to reality. “I guess you could say I did quite fancy you.”

“Did?”

“Well—I still do.” He confessed sheepishly. Your nervous laughter bounced back between the both of you, leaning your forehead against his. “It is a good thing I fancy you too then.”

Since awaking, Jacob’s joy seemed to spring back after being gone, not wasting time to capture your lips against his, his hand tracing your cheekbone, pulling you closer to him. You grunted from a sudden shift in your body as you tried to turn over to face him further, the assassin pulling inches away from you, the look of surprise sprinkled over his features, “Oh… I guess I couldn’t wait to do that.”

Your laughter filled the large room, voices hushed with reassuring kisses and hugs, finally feeling the relief of being in his arms once more.

God, I finally finished this, who knew it would take so long?

#jacob frye #jacob frye x reader #AC syndicate Jacob Frye #Assassin's Creed Syndicate #assassin's creed syndicate oneshot #assassin's creed oneshot #assassin's creed #ac syndicate #Female reader #reader is an assassin #assassin!reader #near death fic #injured reader #Part 2 of 2

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littlefreya · 5 years ago

Text

Good Girl

gif credit amancanfly

Synopsis: Henry is at the gym testing the new Glute Drive while his longing wife drops by to visit and decides to play a little wicked game of teasing.

Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC

Word count: 4.2K

Warnings: Explicit, this is basically ALL smut. Slight SubMale / DomFem then a lot of DomMale / SubFem, dry humping, cock teasing, dangerous driving, fingering, dirty talk, daddy kink, slight size kink (I am all the kinks today), unprotected sex and bodily fluids!

A/N: Okay so this fic was born out of the UNHOLY union between this thread and the video of Henry going “good boy” at Kal. Many thanks to my darling @agniavateira for helping me proofread this!

Title: Good Girl

There he is, my bear of a man. His sculpted, wide body plastered to some medieval-looking torture device. Strong, large arms hang onto the handles, muscles flexing. Slick with sweet sweat, he thrusts his hips up and down while grunting with effort.

Who the hell came up with this air-fucking machine?

I walk through the deserted mirrored room, my black painted nails scratching the glass as I draw closer toward Henry. Gyms tend to be freezing, and I’m not properly dressed for a workout session with my mini plaid skirt and a dark grey t-shirt. But his arduous gasps fill the chilled space enough to make things a little warmer.

“What are you doing here, little one?” Henry finally asks, pausing his thrusts for a moment as he spots my cattish moves toward him.

I observe silently as I inch closer. he has his waist strapped to a bench, heavy weights of 80kg are on each side of his body while he lifts upward and presses his behind back down. A sheer layer of sweat covers him entirely, his skin glistening in the fluorescent’s light. His favourite blue top is soaked.

“I came home from the studio and my hubby wasn’t there.” I pout, standing right at the edge of the bench where his feet are pressed for support.

He pouts back at me, genuine care on his face. My darling bear might have the endurance of a large predator, but his heart is all strawberry marshmallow when it comes to his lady. He hates to spend time apart. Whenever our schedules collide it’s all about Face-timing and sending nudes.

Honestly? I care less than he does about this shit ever getting leaked. I even keep some steamy under-the-cover selfies so I’ll have something to work with when either of us is away.

But what I hate the most, is having him here yet he’s absent. The Pre-production shenanigans have him preparing for his next role, which usually means working himself at the gym to the point of collapsing, just so he could look like some demi-god. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind him having a little body fat. That’s why I bake him pizza every weekend. What his gym coach doesn’t know, can’t hurt him.

“I’ll be done in 10 minutes, darling.” he answers and continues to slowly push down and up again, releasing a pained grunt and clenching his teeth. “Just… two… more… sets.”

“I don’t want to wait.” I alert him, circling the machine carefully to not get in his way. I appreciate the hard work and stamina, but I am quite tired of having the downside of the deal. Every day for the last 2 weeks I received an exhausted Cavill with aching, strained muscles. The most action I got was massaging his muscles in the bathtub which might sound romantic if not for him snoring 3 minutes in.

“Ten minutes,” he mentions again. He’s out of breath as he ascends and then lowers once more, the weights pressuring his body down while the bands create a resistance.

No way in hell someone came up with this device and didn’t think this is a sex thing. I see my bear thrusting his hips upward like this and only one thing goes through my mind.

Oh, how I need to be on top of this mountain of a man.

I cannot help myself, nor can I hide the malicious grin forming on my mouth. I lift my leg carefully, hovering it in the air above him. I cage him between my straddled legs whilst giving him my best dominatrix glare. Henry raises his eyes to meet mine, looking dumbfounded.

“What are you doing, darling? You’ll hurt yourself.”

Oh, sweet summer child.

I sway my hips in a slow dance, with the thrust of his body and his heavy breaths as the music I’m dancing to. The arousal in his eyes is evident within seconds. His lips part away slowly, his beautiful blue eyes begin to cloud, and his adam’s apple slides upward in his throat as he swallows.

“At home.”

“Here.” I ignore his request lowering myself slowly and carefully to squat over his groin. He’s not hard, yet.

Henry releases a deep loud grunt. Usually, I am weightless for him, but right now I’m adding to already 160kg of weights. Well, he is the type of guy who likes to push his limits and I am the type of girl who likes to test boundaries.

“Don’t,” Henry protests, another grunt escaping his lips. I stretch myself, my ass pressing back, my groin rubbing against the tender muscle that begins hardening between my legs. I can feel the rush of blood, making him throb and grow vast between my legs.

“Don’t do what?” I press my teeth against the lushness of my lower lip viciously, beginning to grind against the hardness in slow circular motions. “Don’t you have two more sets?”

He clenches his teeth, his hands tightening around the handles so harshly his knuckles whiten. With great effort he lifts up, succumbing to my wickedness. His erected cock is concealed underneath his clothes, yet I press and dance onto it, making blissful moans as the friction has me singing that sweet familiar tune.

When he pulls down I dive with him, feeling the exhale of his body and the dancing twitch of muscles. I greatly anticipate the next push upward, my hands reaching to squeeze my breasts together. My panties are now soaked with moisture as I press and rub, bringing myself closer.

When he lifts again, his thrust is a wee bit faster. He’s either getting used to my weight on his groin, or the adrenaline of the beast that I’ve been teasing allows him to push higher. He angles his hips into mine, serving my need, and gives me the friction I demand. His eyes meet mine and pure darkness devours me within them.

I am in so much fucking trouble, but it’s so worth it.

“Oh Henry, you’re making me so wet.”

I moan his name, rubbing myself on his cock at a demanding speed while he lifts up and down. My clit tingles, swollen against his enormous bulge as that familiar wave begins to spread. He’s so hard, so painfully swollen, and so incapable of getting any release while I ride him into a powerful orgasm.

I clutch his thighs, desperate gasps spiralling out my mouth as the pleasure continues to hit my core. My nails dig deep into the hardened flesh but I can’t be bothered.

“Oh god…” I throw my head backwards, trying to adjust my breath while my legs are shaking around his wide waist. There’s still a throbbing hardness against my burning core, the angry drumming of blood pulsating against my opening.

I’m tempted to take my phone and capture his looks in my camera. But I’m in too much trouble as it is. Henry is drenched in sweat, upset in ways I’ve never seen in my life. He's done with his workout for today, no doubt about that.

“Are you done?” he asks me with a frown.

I lick my lips and lift myself up, knees nearly giving up as my legs are still numb from the intensity of pleasure. I let out a provoking giggle, putting my finger between my teeth, knowing he likes that gesture. This is my favourite battle, control. He enjoys superiority with his physical power, but every now and then I sweep the rug beneath his feet. And though he loves it when I am his good girl, sprawling and letting him take what he wants, when I am bad, the beast is willing to split my ass in half.

Guess I won this round.

Henry unbuckles the harness from his waist as I step back. He takes the towel from the bench and wipes his face. My eyes fixate on the still hard swelling in his nether area. I could offer to take care of it for him, but I am not feeling this generous right now. Better keep his stamina for home, so I can actually get me a proper shag in a nice, clean bed with a nice, clean husband that doesn’t smell like an entire rugby team.

“Go wait in the reception.” he demands, his tone anything but sweet right now.

“Don’t take too long.” I demand in return as I turn around, flipping back my hair and letting it slide down my ass. I can hear his frustrated groan behind me, just before I leave the room. It makes me lose myself in a burst of chuckles.

~*~

Henry meets me downstairs, a serious expression on his face. His gaze doesn’t meet mine, letting me know that unlike myself, he is vastly unamused. He takes my wrist in his big hand and leads me outside while smiling to bid bored receptionist goodbye.

I am forced to follow his large strides. Being a tall man, every step of his is equal to three small ones of mine. Even though it seems like his “problem” subsided, he’s not exactly interested in waiting.

He’d always be tender in his behaviour towards me, a respectful gentleman who knows how to treat women. Sure, he can rearrange a guy’s skull, but he never raised his voice at me. He’d take a walk outside the house and then return to so we can have a talk like adults.

But this is not a fight. This is but our favourite little war. Ongoing from the day we met.

I notice that we are not going to the car. Instead, he leads me to a narrow, dark space between two buildings. I can smell the damp sidewalk, the scent of earlier rain filling my nose. This spot is anything but romantic or erotic, with street cats screeching at the back and the sounds of trash cans being hit as they bounce on top of the lids.

Finally, he towers above me. His hand lets go of mine and hold it open in front of me with a demanding look in his eyes.

“Take off your panties.”

I let out a bemused laugh, dry and short as I am uncertain of his odd demand. But he holds out his hand at the stern request, motioning for me to do as I’m told.

“Here?!” I ask, looking around to see if there is anyone who might be a voyeur on our little engagement. The last thing I need is our agents scolding us again for photos of us being inappropriate in public places. Gretchen swears we make these mess on purpose. We kinda do, because we can’t keep away from one another.

“You want another one of your fancy pairs turned into rubbish?” he threatens.

I comply, breathing out like a brat and leaning down to take off my underwear for him. I place it in his hand and move back against the wall, anticipating his next move. I guess “Cavill and wife caught doing cardio after the gym!” could be a funny headline, better than the one at the hotel at the Academy Awards.

Henry folds the small material in his hand, holding it in his fist as if it’s something he can actually squeeze, before shoving it into his pocket. He grabs something else in exchange. I hear the chink of his car keys, dangling between his fingers as he offers them to me.

“You drive.”

There are no explanations, nor can I make anything of his behaviour. My man is willed with the control of his emotions. To outburst is to be weak, I am keen on that, my own terrible flaw. It only pisses me off more to see him keeping himself so relaxed while I am always the one who sees fire.

I follow his order, walking after him silently as he leads me to where he parked the car. Having no underwear beneath my short skirt is anything but convenient right now, especially when I have to enter the vehicle and crouch down.

I try fixing my skirt to cover myself, feeling the leather of the seat beneath my ass and other regions while Henry begins messing with the music player. I can see the small smirk at the corner of his lip, it’s evident that he’s having himself a good time knowing how uncomfortable I am at this very moment.

I roll my eyes at him and try closing my knees together as much as I can while stepping my foot on the gas.

He puts on Queens of the Stone Age and takes the passenger seat back, remembering he needs more legroom than I usually require. His head turns to face me, his lips sucked into his mouth in a cunning gesture.

“Had yourself a good time?”

His hand reaches toward my knee, grazing at the bone with featherlike movements. It tickles, I am forced to move my knee from him involuntarily, but he keeps it in place, resting his entire large hand on my kneecap.

“I’m driving…” I warn him, keeping my hands on the wheel and my eyes on the road.

I can tell he is smirking wickedly, his eyes staring at the road ahead of us carefully and then back at me. His fingers make their way up my thigh, snakelike on my bare skin. His palm is large and warm, pressing onto my inner thigh while his thumb draws invisible circles on my skin.

“Henry…” I warn again, feeling cool air blowing against my lips as he forces my legs to part wider for him. “You’ll get us killed!”

“Then focus on the road.” he commands, licking his lips. His fingers meet my wetness in a touch so tender it’s almost a phantasm, yet still there, undoubtedly making me swallow a sigh and squirm slightly in my seat. It’s as if he is testing the water first, a slight brush before plunging in and damn if he doesn’t push into me with his fingers, pressing three of his large digits to massage my heat.

“Fuck!”

I am fighting to keep my eyes open, my hands clutching at the steering wheel while my left foot kicks at the floor.

“Maybe we should stop.” I suggest, nearly pleading.

“Keep driving, we’re almost home.” he answers, sounding relaxed. The amused grin has vanished from his face, replaced with the severeness of pride and triumph.

He strokes my cunt between his fingers in a tight grip, his fingers running up and down, playing with my wetness, smearing it across his hand before plunging two of his knuckles inside me as we stop at a red light. I am very much aware that other drivers might see us, so does he, but he seems to care very little if anyone spots him pleasing his wife.

“Aww…” he mocks me, hearing the helpless cry that pushes out of my throat. “You shouldn’t have been such a bad little girl.” he teases some more, his fingers now plunging in and out with excitement. I allow myself to grind at the surface of his palm to achieve more friction at the base of my clit so maybe we can finish this quickly before the light is green.

But he’s the one in charge of my satisfaction now. He holds his hand further, so I will have none of it and keeps the stimulation only at the rim of my cunt, his fingers circling my entrance.

“Too bad you had to tease me like that.” he murmurs in his low voice, his fingers slowly withdrawing and only his thumb grants my clit with a small tender brush.

“Now you’ll have to wait, and be a good girl for daddy.”

I let out another cry, arching toward the wheel and biting on my lips. It's not out of pleasure, but out of torturous frustration as he withdraws completely. I give him a quick, infuriated stare, seeing how he sucks his fingers victoriously, enjoying every single drop of his sweet win.

Feeling slick between my thighs, I press slightly harder on the gas pedal, trying to get us home faster. Henry pumps the volume of the music player higher.

Watch you come from above

I'm so needy for love, I'm desperate,

Greedy in slavery I sneak around from behind I got a one track mind We got a skin on skin thing baby I want to lick you too much I hear you comin ooh aaaah baby

~*~

The moment we enter the house I lock the door and try to make my move but he has his hand on my throat in less than a second, squeezing not too tight, but tight enough to make a point. His blue eyes scan my face, his soft tongue slithering across the freckle of his lower lip with arousal.

“Get on your knees, little one. You’re not off the hook yet.”

I gasp at his fierceness, weak against his charisma and beauty. I stroke his face, still sticky with sweat from earlier, my fingers are gently smoothing against the stubbles on his high cheekbones and at the dimple of his chin.

“Please, daddy, just fuck me already,” I bargain.

“I’m wet and ready for you.”

“On your knees.” he repeats himself, his lips twitching to a small grin as he sees my defeat. His hand slightly releases my neck, his fingers pet my chin and jaw and finally entangle in my hair as I fall to my knees slowly, levelling myself at the height of his groin. His hand strokes my head lovingly, pressing my chin against his growing arousal as I look up to him with fake innocence.

“Are you gonna be good now?” he asks, his fingers twirling around my long hair lovingly.

“Yes, daddy.” I nod, waiting to have his cock in me, in any part of me. I want to touch myself so badly, my pussy throbs with desperate eagerness to be stuffed by his huge cock. .

“I want to see you crawl on fours and wait for me in the living room, babygirl.” he growls at me while discarding his blue top on the wooden floor, exposing his thick hairy chest.

“I want to look at your cunt as you move for me before I’ll destroy it. You’ve been such a nasty girl today.”

I shiver at his words, a shrill of air kicks out of my lungs at once. My toughness is down to non-existing. I let him have it, I let him have it all. I crawl on my knees and palms like a cat in heat, my ass exposed for him. My cunt drips with primal desire to be conquered by this menacing alpha. I stop for a moment and then look behind me. I see him kicking off his shoes, his sweats slipping down his thick thighs along with his briefs before he continues to follow me, holding his erection in his hand, massaging the base of his cock while looking at me to open wide for him.

I reach the furry white IKEA carpet in our living room and wait for him, still on all fours. His heavy footsteps make the wood creak beneath his weight which alerts me that he’s close. The heat of his body is near. I feel the aura of his body as he falls down to his knees carefully behind me.

His hands smooth against the curve of my ass, appreciating my shape to the point of worshipping my flesh. He takes the time to study again what he knows better than I do, trailing up to lift my skirt until it’s hiked around my belly. He then pushes my shirt, prompting me to take it off. Not an easy task to perform on all four limbs.

For one lingering moment, his hands roam across my body, massaging my muscles, pinching my nipples between his fingers. I moan beneath his large hands as he coaxes me into being his little plaything, succumbing to his will. Possessive fingers grip my shoulder and in a sudden movement, I’m pressed with my back down while Henry pushes my legs apart with his knees.

“I just love to look at your face when I fuck you, babygirl.” he explains, his hands pulling my legs violently against his hips to position me as he desires. That way, we can both enjoy the show of his cock slipping in and out of my slit.

I squirm beneath him, my hands reaching for his chest to stroke at the thick dark hair and hardened pecs. “Please, fuck me.” I beg to the point of whining as I look at his sturdy cock, admiring every vein and ridge that decorates his impressive size. Henry takes himself and begins to tease my entrance, making teasing groaning voices while I plea so weakly.

But that’s only to prepare me for his brutal invasion. He lets out a loud husky shout as he pushes in, penetrating me with such vulgarness, it takes the air out of my lungs. I am split in half, feeling how my body stretches immediately to bind itself to him.

My narrow slit tries to remain resilient while Henry keeps himself nested between my lush folds, a groan of pure pleasure vibrates through his glorious chest before he takes my jaw in his great hand and makes me look at him to see the sin in his eyes.

“Good girl…” he calls out in his deep low voice, pulling himself out slowly and then slamming back inside me in with a slippery wet slap. I gasp, my entire body shuddering in his veiny arms.

“Good girl.” He speaks again, letting the words roll and linger on his tongue.

His rhythm is somewhere between torturous to divine. When he pulls away he does it ever so slowly, watching with perverse fascination his own cock as it slides out my narrow entrance just before he slams back in. Henry promised that he will destroy me; he never breaks a promise. I already feel how my muscles are thrown into a paradox, trying to resist him yet have him deeper and deeper with each one of his amazing thrusts.

“Look at how you take me,” he calls in a guttural voice, urging me to look at our union. “You have such a tight succulent cunt, baby.”

It feels almost too sinful to stare, my entire existence shivers at the sight. His big beautiful cock enters me, slick with my juices as he increases the pace. I’m petite but with him inside I’m forced to expand, my body stealing his shape, embracing him with devotion, wanting him to be like this forever.

His wide thighs are placed right beneath my legs, his right hand silks its way down my hip and grips me roughly as he pounds me in increasing speed. With one hand still on my jaw, he presses his fingers to my mouth where I suck and bite at him. He always wants me to look at him, loves it when I’m hopeless beneath him when my mouth cries for him while he stuffs me with his cock, over and over again.

I squirm to meet his pelvis. He fucks me so raw that no actual words come out of my mouth but the mewls of a small, helpless animal instead. Being hunted for sport rather than eating. I grind my clit against his pubic bone to elicit more delightful friction, getting me closer and closer. But I’m stealing control and he’ll have none of that right now.

He shoves us down, pinning my hands against each side of my head while his groin is holding me down to the surface in complete captivity. I am hurting for a mere moment as he shoves too forcefully. His apology is a deep passionate kiss which he is forced to break as we both gasp for air with every merciless push of his loins into mine.

“Fuck babygirl!” He leans his forehead against mine, a feral gaze in his eyes. I lock my legs around his waist, my body losing every grip it ever had on control as the warmth begins to throb at the base of my cunt, spreading from my womb towards every nerve until I feel nothing but love flowing through my body.

I pant in awe, my voice adding to his deep growls and husky gasps which only become louder as his orgasm looms closer with the tightness of my cunt around his swelling cock. It sucks him harder, demanding his release, milking him of his offering until he shudders through me and yells out my name.

The gush of warmth that spills inside me is my second favorite thing in the world. I moan with sweet delight as his cream coats me inside.

“I love you so much.” he whispers, holding me in his protective embrace as if to apologize for fucking me so hard.

I’d imagine that after such a long time together he’d already figure it out that I’m the one provoking it.

“What’s the name of that device again?.. the one I was…”

“Glute drive.”

“Glute drive, yeah, we’ll do that again soon…” I suggest, nibbling at his ear playfully while he remains on top of me.

~*~

Song lyrics are by Queens of the Stone Age - Skin on Skin

#Henry Cavill #Henry Cavill Fanfiction #Henry Cavill x OFC #henry cavill rpf #henry cavill x reader

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lawyering-and-running · 4 years ago

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Chapter 4 - Don't Shoot The Messenger

Series Masterlist

♡ Pretty proud of this one beauties. Don't forget I'm open to suggestions and/or requests xx ♡

Nicole had been sat by the fire for a while, one of the women had passed her a bowl of warm stew and a flask of water. Yet despite feeling more comfortable than she had in months she couldn’t relax. The idea of not knowing what was happening back in Small Heath was nearly too much. That was her town too, why should she not protect it just because she had something different between her legs. She was just as capable as some of the men. Mind made up, she put down her bowl and stretched out her legs. She quickly thanked the women for their kindness before setting off.

Quickly she ran back towards small heath climbing up onto the rooftops until she found her favourite, on top of one of the warehouses with great views of the canals. She raised a flag on top of the building, lighting a fire beside it. A beacon to signal to her people that she needed a meeting. Shelby’s had their family meetings; the runners had their own. She did not have to wait long before the others started the respond. Shadowy figures dropped down on to the roof until all seven of them were gathered.

“We all know what’s happening in those streets below us, and what’s going to happen. This is our home, we know it better than anyone, so we’re going to protect it.” The group was made up of two other girls and four boys, all lean from years of too little food and too much activity. All in dark grey clothing and covered in a fine layer of dirt, they really did look like shadows come alive. When it comes to fight or flight instincts the usual for the group was of course flight. They were used to being ignored, eyes peering into the dark privy to the city’s secrets because nobody realised they were listening in. Nameless, faceless, and voiceless.

But now. As this group stood before her, she realised that maybe they all had an equally strong fight response. Nobody moved to leave, nobody looked scared. “All right then Nik, what’s the plan?” asked Kaz, one of the boys. “I say we use what we’re good at. That we take down Kimber’s men before they even know we’re there. That we keep an eye on things when the other Peakies are unable to do so.” The others nodded their heads in agreement reaching into pockets for hidden switchblades and razors. “Let’s show them what we’ve got” Nina, one of the girls, cheered raising her fist in the air.

Nicole moved towards the edge of the building, looking down at where she could see the men gathering. ”May we die in the shadows as we were born” she said. The group repeated back ”May we die in the shadows as we were born” they wouldn’t quite consider each other family, none of them really knew the concept, but they did have an understanding that they were all one and the same and that they were in this together. With everything said and done the group moved across rooftops, spreading out before slithering down into dark corners, lying in wait.

A hush descended over the group of men as Nicole watched the Shelby brothers from her alleyway, hidden behind a stack of crates. Suddenly Tommy’s voice rang out “It doesn't have to be like this, Kimber.” Kimber’s nasty voice replied “Too late for all that. You've bit off more than you can chew, you little toerag. And now I'm going to take over this shithole.” Nicole quietly fumed, it was no London, but it was their little corner of the world, no way was this outsider going to come in here and disrespect her home. She reigned herself in, it wasn’t her place, wasn’t even her personality really. She stayed hidden watching the conversation take place.

“Now now Kimber, that isn't very polite. I expected something more from a man of your grand standing.” Tommy mocked. “Listen here you little shit, I am going to kill all of you. Every last one of you fuckin Peakies. Then I am going to burn this place to the ground, maybe build myself another racetrack instead. Whilst you lot all rot in hell.” Steam was practically pouring out of Kimber’s ears. His face had gone an odd shade of red, his moustache twitching. It would have probably made for a funny picture if it were not for the seriousness of the situation. Although Nicole swore she could see that glint of amusement in Tommy’s cold blue eyes from where she was perched.

Tommy remained unbothered by the mounting tension in front of him, he shrugged “So that’s how it’s going to be.” Suddenly all hell broke loose. Both sides running for each other, opponents nearly indistinguishable. The loud bangs of gunfire rang through the streets as screams filled the air. Already a hazy mist of blood was settling over them. Nicole saw a Peaky struggling against one of Kimber’s, she crept up behind him and quick as lightning she stabbed him in the neck. She’d rehidden herself by the time the body slumped to the floor, the Peaky looking around for who had saved him.

She continued to dart out where possible to help others in difficult positions, trying as hard as she could to ensure that none of her people lost their lives today. That none of the women of Small Heath would be turned into Widows by the day’s events. She recognised her other runners doing the same, a flash of black, a glint of a blade as they wove through the fighting.

In all of the chaos Nicole had lost track of where the Shelby brothers were. Too focused on what was directly in front of her to think of anything else. She had just unarmed a Kimber for a Peaky to finish off when she saw Kimber raising his gun up to Tommy just a couple of steps away. No one else seemed to have noticed that their fearsome leader was quickly running out of options, his own gun nowhere in sight. Flat cap no match at a distance to a loaded gun. No other thought in mind she jumped for Kimber’s outstretched hand.

Time seemed to slow as she became airborne. As if she were trapped in a bubble, the sounds around her became muffled, tunnel vision focused solely on the weapon. Hands knocking the gun away time sped back up, as noise rushed back in. Angry shouts. She thought she heard a “What the fuck are you doing here?” but that was not important.

She tumbled to the ground with Kimber’s heavy body. The two rolling around trying to gain an upper hand. She lost her blade in the shuffle and had not accounted for Kimber having a backup weapon. Her mistake. Her tired body was no match for his larger frame as he lodged the knife into her shoulder. Yelling obscenities at her. A white-hot numbness spread through her body; she had not felt anything like this before. A pain far more vivid and sharp than a sprained ankle.

Before Kimber could actually finish her off there was a loud bang, the loudest Nicole had heard that day. The weight of a dead body suddenly pressing in on her. Kimber’s unseeing eyes gazing into her own. There was a warm wetness trickling over her, but very little seemed to really be registering in her mind. Her limbs becoming heavy from blood loss and perhaps shock. The heavy body was shoved off of her. The man she had saved appearing above her. “Why would you do something like that, ey?” Tommy asked. His body kneeling next to hers to try and stem the blood flow. All that escaped Nicole was a moan of pain.

A hysterical thought bubbled into her mind, why the hell did she care so much about a gangster. She had only spoken a couple of words to him. Maybe her luck had finally run out, drowned in her own stupidity. Clearly those blue eyes had more of an effect on her than she thought. She laughed out loud, lest she cry out from the pain otherwise. Her eyes shut as the blue-eyed face hovered above her, lips moving but nothing registering in her ringing ears. Then nothing.

Upon seeing Kimber fall the remaining few of his men had quickly tucked tail and run away. The cause no longer worth dying for. The Peakies cheered. “You don’t mess with the PEAKY FUCKIN BLINDERS!” Arthur shouted to even louder cheers. Turning to see Tommy’s crouched form the other two brothers ran over to help. “Is that the girl from before? What’s she doing here?” John questioned. “I don’t bloody know John. She just appeared and saved my life like some fuckin guardian angel. Help me carry her into the Garrison, we need to stitch up the wound.” The men lifted up her limp body as six pairs of eyes watched from the shadows, ready to help but feeling useless all the same. I quite murmur rippled through the group, but a whisper ”May we die in the shadows as we were born” Nicole’s life was in the hands of the Shelby’s now.

They burst through the doors of the pub shoving aside glasses as they laid her body on the table. Tommy ripped her shirt sleeve, heavy and slippery from the blood. Suddenly Polly was by their side as well “Someone get me some whiskey” she commanded whilst taking out a sewing kit. Arthur thrust the bottle at Tommy. He poured half the bottle over the wound grateful that the poor girl was already unconscious for this before pouring the rest of Polly’s waiting hands and needle. His work done he slumped back as Arthur passed him a new bottle of whiskey, this one meant for drinking. He took a couple of gulps as he slowly came down from the adrenaline. The fight, nearly losing his own life, being saved, and then this girl who he for some unexplainable reason cared for nearly dying. Slowly his shaking hands steadied as the alcohol took effect.

Polly had meanwhile sown up the wound and wrapped it in a cloth to stem any further blood flow. Nicole would be alright now. “What a day” she sighed grabbing the bottle from Tommy and taking a swig. Tommy stood up, carrying Nicole to one of the benches and covering her up with his warm black coat. Moving back towards the bar, he turned to face his family “If you check behind the bar Arthur... you will find a bottle of champagne.” Arthur fetched the bottle as Tommy continued “Today was a good day, we only lost a couple of men. All of Kimber's men were busy here, so we managed to take all of the pitches at the Worcester races.” Arthur popped the cork on the bottle “It couldn't have gone better if we'd planned it.” He poured some into the various glasses “Shelby Brothers Limited are now the third largest legal racetrack operation in the country.” Handing them out to the three other family members and keeping one for himself “Cheers! Only the Sabinis and the Solomons are bigger than us. And all my family is here to celebrate. To Shelby Brothers Limited.” “Shelby!” “Brothers!” “Cheers.” Rang out through the room. “There'll be others.” Polly spoke up in warning. Tommy merely raised his glass and toasted her again “To the others. All of them.” His eyes had settled on Nicole’s sleeping form, to new beginnings he thought to himself.

#peaky blinders #peaky blinder fanfic #thomas shelby #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby x oc #tommy shelby #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x oc #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders x oc

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yaimlight · 4 years ago

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Pairings: Bakugou Katsuki x Reader / Kirishima Eijiro x Reader

Rating: teen - light swearing, angst, unrequited love

Cross post on AO3. Find me under LokiLover89

This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was meant to be writing the next instalment for Twos Company but I wasn’t really feeling it. A new friend suggested I put it aside and try something new so I did and this happened. Turns out I couldn’t focuse on a romance because I was after a tragedy.

Katsuki slumped forward on the bar, his elbows digging in as knocked back his whisky and signalled the bar tender for another. The whole time he kept his eyes trained on the mirror behind the bar, watching as the happy couple laughed and clung to one another. His eyes tracked her every movement watching as he smile got wider, a pink tinge to her cheeks as she held out her left hand for all to see, the diamond on her engagement ring sparkling in the light.

He grunted as the bar tender placed another drink down in front of him, taking the empty glass away. Katsuki snatched the glass up quickly, draining half of it in one go. He was drinking too much, had lost count after glass number six and that had been half an hour ago but he couldn’t take it anymore. Katsuki knew if he carried on he would probably end up making a fool of himself, probably end up hurting people he cared about but he needed to drown out his feelings and the open bar seemed like a good placed to do that.

Y/N laughed, her face lighting up with it and Katsuki’s breath caught. She truly was beautiful, fucking perfect in his eyes. He wanted to be the reason for her smiles, wanted to be the one who could make her laugh like that. He wanted to be the one to kiss her and hold her tight, be the one she went home with every night and got to say I love you. Katsuki wanted all that and more and the bitter taste of jealousy and despair filled his mouth, making it feel like he was chewing on ash. His grip tightened on the glass as Katsuki finished off his drink and practically slammed the glass down whilst demanding another from the annoyed looking bartender.

“Bakubro!” Eijiro exclaimed loudly, flinging his arm over Katsuki’s shoulder and pulling the reluctant blonde tighter against him. He grunted at the action, swaying on his feet as he shoved the laughing man away from him. “Get off me shitty hair” he growled out angrily. The redhead went with a smile, turning to lean against the bar and waved to get the bartenders attention. Neither of them said anything as they waited for their drinks and Katsuki had to force himself to keep his eyes from straying to Y/N. He had been so caught up watching her that he hadn’t even noticed the other man leaving her side until it was too late to make a run for it. He hadn’t necessarily been avoiding Eijiro but he hadn’t been seeking out his company either, not wanting to bring the others good mood down.

“This is crazy huh? Man I can’t believe she said yes” Eijiro laughed, smiling brightly as he took a swig of his beer. Katsuki just grunted, sipping at he own now double whiskey. How the idiot had ever thought she would say no was beyond Katsuki. Everyone could see how smitten they were with each other. The thought was bitter in his mind, dark and twisting until his head hurt. He was a horrible person, an even worse friend. Eijiro had just gotten engaged, Katsuki should be happy for him but instead all he felt was a bitter and all-consuming jealousy that felt like it was going to suffocate him. He should leave.

He knocked back the last of his drink, placing the empty glass down before pushing himself up. He felt light headed, his mind and vision a little hazy around the edges. He had drunk too much but his heavy eyes still managed to find Y/N in the mirror, her smile still bright as she laughed with Mina and Jiro. “I need to go” he grumbled under his breath, not caring if Eijiro heard him or not. This should be a happy night, a time for celebration and him being here would just bring everything down. He hadn’t taken more than two steps before a hand was curling around his bicep and pulling him back.

Katsuki growled out in warning. “Get the fuck off me shitty hair” he snapped, yanking his arm out the other man’s hold. “You can’t go yet” he whined, a nervous look in his eyes. Huffing Katsuki folded his arms over his chest and stood up straighter, glaring down at his friend and trying to make himself look as intimidating as possible. It had never worked on the idiot before so why Katsuki thought it would now was beyond anyone’s guess. “Why the fuck not?” he spat out angrily. He just wanted to go home and drink until he passed out, until his mind was blissfully blank and numb.

Eijiro offered him a shy smile, rubbing nervously at the back of his neck and Katsuki’s stomach twisted as dread shoved his anger aside. “Well. You’re my best friend, more like a brother than anything and I can’t imagine going through this without you. I want you to be my best man” Eijiro asked sincerely and Katsuki actually felt the bile rising up his throat. This was too much, a fucking nightmare that just wouldn’t go away. Katsuki had thought it bad enough when the redhead had asked him along to help look for an engagement ring, the two of them going from shop to shop until Katsuki had spotted the perfect one.

It had caught his eye instantly, a thin rose gold band with a square cut dim and in the middle but it had been set on its points. It wasn’t an overly large diamond but it was the largest one on the ring, six smaller diamonds set either side that tapered off to be set into the band. It was simple and elegant and perfect, glistening under the bright lights of the store and he had been able to imagine on Y/Ns finger instantly, could picture the way it would sparkle and shimmer with every movement she made.

Katsuki had thought that would be the worst part but then he had had to listen to the idiot panic about how to ask her and after weeks of listening to him go on and on Katsuki had finally snapped. He had told Eijiro exactly how he would do it. What restaurant to go to even what wine to fucking order. He told him where to go afterwards, down to the cherry blossom lined river that lead out to a massive fountain that was always lit up at this time of year at night. He told Eijiro exactly what he would say to her as well, how he would tell Y/N how amazing she was, how her smile could light up his life like the first warm rays of sun after a cold and bitter winter and how his life didn’t seem worth it if she wasn’t there. He had spilt his feelings to his friend and Eijiro had said how beautiful it had been then proceeded to tease him about his hidden romantic side, completely unaware that Katsuki had meant every word.

He had thought it bad enough that she now wore the ring Katsuki had picked, had been proposed to the way Katsuki would have if it had been him but it was so much worse because now Eijiro wanted him to stand next to him at the alter and watch her walk towards him in a wedding dress and know that she wasn’t walking to him, wasn’t going to be devoting her life to him until their last breaths. He couldn’t do it, didn’t want to do it. It was be fucking torture, not to mention cruel but he knew he would because Eijiro was his fucking friend and it wasn’t his fault that Katsuki was so fucked up. He deserved a better friend than Katsuki but he had picked him for some reason and the blonde couldn’t disappoint him like that no matter how much it would hurt him.

Katsuki just stood there, staring at Eijiro with his hands clenched at his side, nails digging into his palms. “I...” Katsuki started to speak but Eijiro cut him off, placing his hands on his chest and smiling widely. “You don’t need to answer now. Just think about it. I’ve been a nervous mess through this and you’ve really helped me though it man”. Katsuki dug his nails in harder, the sharp sting of pain in his hands accompanied by the ice shard he felt digging into his chest. “It’s nothing” he ground out through clenched teeth, wanting this conversation over as quickly as possible.

Eijiro smiled, patting him on the chest before twisting and grabbing his beer and a glass of wine that he hadn’t noticed before. “You’re the best bro. I couldn’t have done this without you” he said cheerfully, his smile getting wider and showing off his incredibly sharp teeth. Katsuki could feel himself cracking as the redhead’s thanks and praise splitting his resolve to keep his feelings to himself but before Katsuki could crush their friendship into dust Eijiro was talking again, taking a few steps away from the bar. “I better go deliver this, don’t want to keep the future Mrs Kirishima waiting” he beamed and then he was gone, disappearing between the crows to go find Y/N.

Katsuki watched him go, suddenly feeling like his stomach was full of bricks. Growling he turned back to the bar, getting the bartenders attention once more but instead of getting a glass Katsuki took the whole bottle, snatching that and his previous glass off the bar top before stalking around the edges of the room until he found an empty booth in a relatively dark corner of the room. He sank into the soft and worn leather, half filling his glass and slumping forward, his eyes instantly finding Y/N and Eijiro amongst the crowed of well-wishers that had gathered in the small bar to congratulate them.

They looked good together, to annoyingly bright and happy people, smiling and laughing. Katsuki hated it. Hated how he couldn’t stop imagining himself in Eijiro’s place, his arm wrapped around Y/Ns waist as they huddled together, her loving gaze turned towards Katsuki as she retold the story of how he had proposed time and time again. He hatted every second he spent wallowing and fantasising yet he couldn’t seem to stop, the bitter taste of longing lodging in his throat. So as the night went on Katsuki drunk, slowly making his way through the bottle, his mind and body getting heavier under the excessive amounts of alcohol.

At some point the floor of the bad had become a dance floor and despite his angry protests Mina had dragged him from his secluded corner and forced him to take part it there stupidness and for the most part it had been okay. He had gotten lost to his friends idiocy, even managing a laugh when dunce face had crashed into the back of Deku and caused him spill his drink all down the candy canes pristine white shirt. It had been funny, even more so when Denki had made things worse in his haste to help by knocking the stuck up pricks glass of red wine down his front as well. The whole incident had improved his foul mood considerably but Katsuki wasn’t so lucky these days and the reality of his situation had come crashing back down around him when a panting and smiling Eijiro had slung his arm over Katsuki’s shoulder, his slightly drunken friend explaining his love and admiration for the blonde loud enough for most the room to hear before promptly informing Katsuki he needed to piss.

This wouldn’t normally be a problem, Katsuki shrugging the other man off and yelling at him for over sharing but before he could even utter a word of his disgust Eijiro was shoving him across the floor, his hands rock hard on Katsuki’s shoulders as he forced him towards Y/N insisting that his best friend, his best man keep his future wife company whilst he was gone. Katsuki had panicked, had seen the look of alarm in Y/Ns eyes as Eijiro had tried to shove them together. Both of them had tried to convince the red head that neither of them had needed to others company but he had insisted, sprouting some bullshit about his best man and his best girl spending time together as they were the two most important people in his life and he wanted them to get along. Both of them had gone quiet at that, neither of them looking at the other as Eijiro placed Katsuki’s hands on Y/Ns waist and hers on the blonde’s shoulders. He walked away with a laugh and a bright smile, jokingly yelling at Katsuki not to get to comfortable because he would be back soon enough to take his place not realising how both of them went stiff at his teasing words. It was awkward and horrible, the two of them just stood there as other couples around them danced to the slow love song and Katsuki desperately wished for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. This was all his fault.

Huffing and gritting his jaw Katsuki reluctantly started to move, well aware of people watching them and waiting to see what would happen. It was a well-known fact amongst their friends that though he and Y/N didn’t dislike one another they didn’t necessarily like one another either. There had always been a tension there, a reluctance to spend time together, especially in such close proximity they just didn’t know why. They moved to the music, barely even moving as they awkwardly shuffled, still neither of them looking at one another.

He felt stiff, his hands twitching as he tried to keep his grip light but it was difficult, having her this close. He could smell the faint sweet vanilla of her perfume, a gift from Eijiro last Christmas that Katsuki had helped pick. He could feel the heat coming off of her, no more so then where they were touching. They were close, to close really but he couldn’t help himself, his thumbs brushing ever so slightly against her sides. The last time he had touched her was months ago, Katsuki catching her as she tripped whilst they had all been hiking on a rare couple of days off together. He had been lagging behind, his eyes firmly fixed on her ass in her shorts as he berated himself for being so fucking weak. There hadn’t been anyone else there to help as she had slipped, arms flailing as she fell back and right into Katsuki’s waiting arms.

She had looked up at him with wide and surprised eyes, her back pressed firmly against his front. Her cheeks had been red, both from the exertion of the climb and the panic of falling, her chest heaving as she breathed deeply, sweat sliding down her neck and disappearing between her breasts. He had been struck by her beauty then, the sun shining down on them, bright and hot and he had felt it as clear as anything, the desire to hold on and never let go. His head had been half way bent down towards her, Y/Ns eyes going wide and he had been able to feel her surprise and panic. Then Eijiro had been calling out, Katsuki snapping out of his stupor and had practically shoved Y/N away from him and into the redhead’s arms. He had stormed ahead after that, yelling at Y/N to watch where she was going because he wouldn’t help her again. The feel of her in his arms had stayed there long after they had parted ways that night and like the pathetic mess he was Katsuki had let his mind wonder that night to what would have happened if it had just been them and he hadn’t let her go. He knew tonight would be the same.

“You don’t have to do this”. Her quiet voice cut through his thoughts and for the first time since they had been forced into each other’s arms Katsuki looked at her. Y/N looked back at him but she wasn’t smiling any more. She looked up at him with a mix of feelings. Pain, sadness, understanding but none more so obvious than pity. “Yes I do” he growled out, his anger getting the best of him. He didn’t need nor want her pity. She frowned, a small spark of anger flashing in her eyes that mirrored his own and Katsuki briefly wondered if it was his, her quirk picking up on it and making it her own.

They glared at one another for a few long and tense moments, both of them stubborn and refusing to give in. Finally though Y/N sighed, tearing her gaze away from his to look off at something over his shoulder. “It’s not fair of him to ask it of you” she sighed, still not meeting Katsuki’s intense gaze. He scoffed at her remark. “Would you rather I tell him why I shouldn’t fucking do it?” he snarled out. She had the good sense to look a little sheepish, keeping her mouth thankfully shut. “That’s what I thought” he snapped, finally able to tear his gaze away from her.

Things felt even tenser now than they had before, Katsuki feeling on edge like he did before a fight. This wasn’t her fault. No Katsuki was the only person who could shoulder the blame for their current situation but that didn’t mean he couldn’t hate her just a little bit for making him fall so completely for her. It hadn’t always been that way though. The first time he meet her he had brushed her off, to consumed with his job and being his usual rude and abrasive self. The same had gone for the second and third time he had seen her but the fourth time had been different. They had been paired together for a rescue mission, Y/N assigned to him because of her quirk and his abrasive nature. It had been three days of constant work as they looked for survivors after a building collapsed and by the end of it Katsuki had fallen hard but it had already been too late by then. He had gone to Eijiro for advice on how to ask the women out and instead had found Y/N, all laughter and smiles and dressed only in one of the redhead’s many Crimson Riot tees. He had lost his chance long before he even knew he had had one.

He felt the pain and sorrow he had been feeling ease slightly, like a balm had been applied to sooth a burn. Not getting rid of the pain but lessening it slightly. He let out the breath he didn’t realise he had been holding in one big rush, some of the tension he had been feeling easing slightly. It wasn’t real, wasn’t even his own feelings but he welcomed it none the less. Katsuki wished it would go deeper though, wished it would smother everything he was feeling and leave him numb. “Make it stop” he whispered. He sounded desperate to his own ears, his voice cracking slightly as he begged for something he knew wasn’t possible. She was only an empath, able to manipulate others emotions but she couldn’t erase them all together.

“I wish I could” she answered just as softly and Katsuki once more turned to look down at her. She looked so sad and broken as she gazed back at him. He hatted that he was the one to make her look like that. All he ever wanted was to make her smile but he never had. No all he did was make her sad and nervous, uncomfortable to be around him. “I wish I could give you that Katsuki. You deserve so much more than this”. At some point one of her hands had moved from his shoulder, her palm pressing against his cheek. Her skin was soft and warm and despite knowing better Katsuki let his eyes fall closed and leaned into the touch, nuzzling against her. He shouldn’t be doing it, they were in the middle of a crowded room, any one could see him but his alcohol clouded mind didn’t allow him much time to worry about it, to busy trying to commit to memory how soft her skin felt against him.

“I’m sorry” she mumbled, her voice breaking slightly. Katsuki reluctantly opened his eyes, reaching up with both hands to pry her hand away from him. At some point they had stopped moving, the two of them stilling as a sombre aura seemed to settle over them. Around them people still laughed and danced, seemingly unaware or uncaring of what was happening between the two of them. Katsuki had to wonder if maybe that was her doing, pushing their feelings of happiness and excitement higher so they wouldn’t notice them.

“It’s not your fault” he mumbled. He held her hand in his, hiding it between them and looking down at it with a frown. The engagement ring glinted in the light, almost like it was taunting him. He ran his thumb over her knuckles, knocking against the ring. Her skin was soft and smooth under his thumb and he wanted to feel more of her, wanted to know if she was that soft all over. Without giving it another thought he slid his had high, flipping her hand over so he could no longer see the stupid diamonds. His fingers dancing along her wrist, feeling her pulse thumping away under her delicate skin. “It’s not your fault” he whispered again, his voice barely audible as he pressed his thumb down just to feel her pulse flutter. He wanted it to be because she welcomed his touch, liked the feel of him as much as he liked the feel of her but he knew it was probably nerves, Y/N keeping track of his emotions so she could stop him if he tried to take things too far.

Maybe this was already too far, pushing his luck whilst he was too drunk to properly keep control over his desires. He would regret all of this come morning when he was hung over and his mouth felt and tasted like something had crawled into his mouth and died. He would lay in bed going over everything he was doing now and hate himself for it, scream and shout and berate himself till he was red in the face and his head felt like it would explode. He would regret all of this but now, stood here before Y/N he couldn’t find it in him to stop, his fingers slowly working their way up her exposed arm.

“Katsuki” she said softly, placing her other hand over his and stopping his movements. Blinking stupidly Katsuki slowly turned to look at Y/N. She was smiling sadly at him, that look of pity back in her eyes and quickly Katsuki snatched his hands back, stepping away from her and looking around nervously. Fuck what was he doing? This was stupid, he was being stupid. Anyone could have seen them, would have been able to take one look at him and known how he felt.

Panicking Katsuki turned to make a quick escape but he didn’t get far. Y/N grabbed his arm, her grip tight and keeping him in place. Growling Katsuki tensed, his hands balling into fists again. “Let go of me” he growled but all Y/N did was tighten her grip, her fingers digging into his arm through his shirt. “No” she snapped, sounding angry now. Snarling Katsuki yanked his arm out of her hold and spun back round to face her. “What do you want from me?” he snarled, towering over her. He could see the small flicker of fear in her eyes, Y/N taking a slight step back and his heart fucking broke. People were looking, could feel their eyes on him but he couldn’t care less right now. People already thought of him as an asshole so why not give them exactly what they wanted?

When she didn’t say anything Katsuki scoffed and stormed from the room, this time Y/N letting him go. He slammed past people, not caring when they cried out in indignation. He had to get the fuck out of there before he made things even worse. “Hey Bakubro” Eijiro called excitedly as Katsuki got closer to him, smiling wide but it soon feel as he caught sight of the look on the blondes face. “What’s wrong?” he asked worriedly, eyes darting past Katsuki and he knew then that Y/N was following him. “I’m leaving” he snarled out, his shoulder slamming into the redheads on his way past.

“What the hell man!” he called out angrily as he stumbled to the side but Katsuki didn’t stop, storming from the bar and out into the cool night. The fresh air made him feel dizzy, the underlying feeling of nausea getting stronger but still he didn’t stop even as he stumbled. Finally though he came to a stop as he rounded the corner of the building and had stumbled half way down the side street. His anger finally run out and Katsuki collapsed back against the wall with a groan. He was fucking everything up. Eijiro was going to hate him after tonight and Katsuki would deserve it.

Screaming he slammed his fist against the wall, the rough stone slicing his knuckles open and leaving his hand throbbing. Cursing he cradled his arm against his chest, glaring down as blood began to drip over his fingers and onto the floor. “Well, that was clever” came a sarcastic and familiar voice from behind and Katsuki spun round snarling to find Y/N standing a few paces behind him, arms crossed and looking at him like he was an idiot. “Fuck off” he snapped, turning away from her and beginning to storm away from her. “Charming as always” she drawled sarcastically and Katsuki snapped.

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?” he roared, his voice echoing off the walls as he spun round to glare at her. Everything fell silent apart from his ragged breathing. His chest was heaving and his hand throbbing and he was fucking done with this shit. He just wanted to go home and pretend this night had never fucking happened. Y/N looked startled, eyes wide and body tensed but it didn’t last. Sighing her shoulders slumped, her arms unfolding and falling to her sides. “We can’t keep doing this Katsuki”.

Katsuki felt his heart stutter at her tone of voice, sounding both determined and resigned to what was happening. “He’s worried about you, wanted to come after you himself but I thought it best that he didn’t”. Katsuki grunted at that, looking down at his feet in shame. Of course the idiot would be worried about him, probably thinking something was wrong that he could fix but there was no fixing this, not by Eijiro anyway. “I don’t want to come between you and him Katsuki. Your friendship means a lot to him and I don’t want to ruin that”. Katsuki winced at her soft and pleading words, that feeling of nausea back again but a thousand times worse. It wasn’t her coming between them it was him and his stupid fucking feelings. She shouldn’t be the one worried about ruining anything because all she had done was fall in love with a good man and been nice to his friends. It wasn’t her fault that Katsuki didn’t know how to handle his feelings and was falling apart at the seams.

“I’m leaving” she sighed and Katsuki’s head snapped up, eyes wide and full of panic. Y/N looked back at him with sad determination and he didn’t know what to do. What did she mean she was leaving? Leaving now or leaving, leaving? Surely if it was the latter than she would have said they were leaving, her and Eijiro but she hadn’t. “I’ve taken a job in America. Three months to help with the relief efforts after the last super villain attack” she explained and something in Katsuki eased. She wasn’t leaving all together but she was leaving.

Eijiro hadn’t said anything beforehand but Katsuki actively tried to avoid talking about Y/N with him so maybe he had missed it. Or maybe she had just decided after tonight, unable to stand Katsuki and his feelings any longer so she was running, trying to put some distance between them. Katsuki wouldn’t blame her. She was an empath, could feel everything Katsuki was feeling. It must be hard to smile and play nice when Katsuki was practically forcing his feelings onto her every time they were so much as in the same room together. He was surprised she hadn’t left already, convinced Eijiro to move cities to get away from him.

His self-disgust and anger lessened, his emotions getting duller once more. Y/N fiddled with the ring on her finger, nibbling on her lip and looking nervous. He felt his own nerves spike. He knew that look. Knew she was about to say something he wouldn’t necessarily like. “I want you to be happy Katsuki and I know that me being here is difficult for you so whilst I’m gone you should...you should try” she urged stepping towards him. Katsuki didn’t even know he was shaking until she gently took hold of his hands, her fingers delicately ghosting over his already bruising knuckles.

“You’re a good man Katsuki and you deserve so much more than this so I want you to try. Meet people, go on dates, forget I even exist if you have to just please try” she pleaded desperately. At some point she had stepped in closer, letting go of his damaged hand to curl hers around his neck, her fingers sinking into his hair. Katsuki mirrored her, his large hand cupping her cheek. He pressed their foreheads together, his red eyes boring into hers. They were close, close enough that he could feel her breath against his lips. He brushed his thumb along her cheek, intense eyes trying to take in every detail he could about her.

She was right. Always was. This wasn’t the first time they had had a conversation like this, Y/N trying to urge him to meet someone else, to move on and be happy. Katsuki had tried, time and time again he had tried but no matter what he had always found himself comparing them to Y/N and they had paled in comparison. But he couldn’t keep doing it. It was unfair of him to do this to her, to Eijiro. He needed to move on, let this go and with her gone maybe he would be able to. She wouldn’t be there to keep reminding him of what he wanted but couldn’t have. They said time healed all wounds and maybe without her there he would finally be able to move on.

He probably needed the distance, would have to cut down on his time with Eijiro so he didn’t have to listen to the other man going on about how much he missed Y/N but maybe, if he was lucky, by the time the wedding rolled around he would be able to stand up there with the redhead and feel nothing but happiness for his friend. It was a long shot, would take more than three pathetically short months to get past years of longing and love but he had to do it, not only for Y/Ns and Eijiro’s sake but also for his own.

“I love you” he whispered gruffly. It was the first time he had ever said it out loud, the first time he had let his guard down enough to let it all come crashing out but if this was going to be his only chance than he needed her to hear it from his lips instead of just feeling it mixed with his shame. She smiled softly at him, her eyes sad and glistening with unshed tears. “I know”. Katsuki slammed his own eyes shut, desperately trying to stop the tears before they could fall. He loved her but she didn’t love him back. She loved Eijiro and he loved her back and that was fact.

Katsuki couldn’t say what motivated him but he found himself leaning down, closing the gap between them and pressing his lips against hers. It was a chaste kiss, their lips barely moving. His lips were chapped and it tasted slightly salty but he couldn’t tell if it was her tears or his. She kissed him back though, her grip tightening on his neck slightly and he should feel elated at the fact but it was bittersweet. It felt like a goodbye and in some sense it was. She was leaving and taking his heart with him.

Katsuki pulled back slightly, keeping his eyes closed as he took a shuddering breath. He felt a calm wash over him, his racing heart instantly slowing. Sighing he stepped back, putting some distance between them and finally opened his eyes. Y/N had tear tracks down her face, her mascara having run and her eyes now red rimmed and puffy. He wanted to reach out and pull her into his embrace, to tell her everything would be okay and she shouldn’t cry over him but he didn’t think he would be able to let her go if he got his arms around her again and he needed to let her go.

Instead all he did was grunt and nod his head. He turned his back on her, shoving his hands into his pockets and wincing at the sting of pain that shot through his hand. He didn’t pull it out though, just carried on his way, listening to the thud of his feet on the pavement below. He didn’t look back, not once even though he desperately wanted to, ever hopeful that she would still be there but he didn’t want the disappointment of finding her gone.

Katsuki didn’t stop until he got home, keeping his mind focused on nothing but the pain in his hand and the rhythmic thud of his feet. He went through the motions getting back into his apartment, kicking his shoes off and shrugging his jacket over his shoulders. He chucked his keys into the waiting bowl on the small side table and then trudged into his living room. The apartment was cold and dark and completely still. Katsuki stood in the doorway, staring out at his empty home. In that moment he felt so completely and utterly alone. He had felt it before but never this sharply.

He had put so much effort into his career over the years, pushing everything else aside in his pursuit of becoming the best and it had payed off. He was number two now, just behind Deku but that was to be expected of All Might’s successor but there had been a lot of sacrifices along the way. Despite knowing it would never happen Katsuki had often entertained what it would be like to come home to Y/N. He knew what it was like to live with her, Eijiro having told him enough and he had witnessed it himself the few times he had been unable to get out of the other man’s invites without being a complete ass.

She always greeted him with a smile and a kiss, happy that the redhead was home. If she had made it home before him dinner would normally be waiting, the smell filling the apartment and it always smelt good. The place would be warm and lived in and the gentle sound of her chattering away as they discussed their days would be welcomed. Afterwards they would sit of the sofa, cuddled together and just enjoy the other’s company until it was time to go to bed. They would each have a preferred side of the bed and he would wrap his arms around her, holding her close as they drifted off, the last thing either of them hearing being the other saying that they loved them.

It was a dream, a fantasy that had slipped out of his grasp a long time ago but tonight made it seem so final. It was strange, how hard it suddenly hit him. He felt like someone had died, like a part of his life had been snuffed out. Katsuki’s legs gave out, his back hitting the wall behind him as he sank to the floor. Tears streamed down his face, his body shaking as he sobbed. He felt like he was being cut in two, a burning knife shoved into his gut and yanked all the way up to his heart. He shoved his hands into his hair, yanking at the strands as he began to rock.

This feeling wouldn’t last forever, he knew that but as his cries echoed around the empty room all Katsuki could feel was the overwhelming sense of guilt and grief. He had no one to blame for this but himself and as he collapsed onto his side, curling in on himself on the cold floor Katsuki let it all wash over him, wallowing in his pain. Tomorrow. Tomorrow he would get up and move on, take it one day at a time but for now he would suffer and lament the loss of the women he loved.

#bakugou x reader #eijiro x reader #ao3 fanfic #bnha fanfiction #mha #my hero academia #sad #unrequited affection

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