#the others who were also on the third try and actually studied a lot for this exam said that it was the hardest yet

[daycourtofficial]

His shadows know

Pairing: Azriel x reader | WC: 3.8k | Warnings: none

Summary: His shadows knew you were mates before either of you did and they do everything they can to push the two of you together.

Author’s note: happy 2k kick off day!!! 🎉 this is actually the oldest draft I have - I began writing this in October I think? I loved the idea but got stuck for so long on where to take it so shout out to @tsunami-of-tears for reading it and giving me feedback - this story would be lost to time without you thank you thank you thank you

Being a scholar in the Winter Court had several perks - your home had a rich and deep history, you spent most of your time reading, and you became great friends with your High Lord and newly appointed High Lady - Kallias and Viviane. Your friendship had great perks, one of which was their allowance for you to travel with them to the Night Court. 

Rhysand had spent centuries keeping up the appearance that it was a terrible place to live, that the people were terrible, everything was terrible, leading to none of the high lords ever spending time in the Night Court. After Velaris became known to the other high lords, Viviane wrote immediately to Mor asking for the chance to see the city of starlight. Mor immediately agreed, also requesting for you to come as well. You and Mor were friendly, but she liked you and knew you would love the city.

The three of you winnowed together, being greeted by Rhys, Feyre, and Mor upon your arrival. After some pleasantries, Kallias and Rhysand started speaking about some political matter, so you slipped out and started wandering around the palace, admiring the beautiful architecture and paintings lining the walls. Many portraits hung in front of you - some depicting battles, some depicting members of the royal family. 

You were stopped at a beautiful portrait of their newest addition, Nyx, when you felt a little tug on your arm. You looked down to find the cutest little blob of darkness dancing around your arm. It tickled as it swirled and skittered across your skin. The little shadow made the rounds around your body, swirling around your arms, your waist, your legs - as if it was checking to make sure everything’s okay.

“You are adorable” you whispered to it, when a second and third one appeared. “How many of you are there?” You whispered, unsure if it can even respond.

“There’s no keeping count of them. Or keeping track of them, I suppose.”

The voice startles you and the shadows, who wrap around you, almost trying to guide you to the voice. You turn to see the most devastatingly beautiful male you’ve ever seen - dark, sun-kissed skin covered large muscular arms, massive membranous wings behind him. Light poured behind him allowing the wings to look almost pink from the stretched skin, but everywhere else behind him was cloaked in shadows that moved lazily, slithering across his shoulders.

Hazel eyes look down at you, a smirk on his face.

“Are you in charge of them, I suppose?” You ask, a smile grazing your lips.

“I wouldn’t say that. They don’t always listen to me. They seem to like you, though.”

While you were speaking, a few more joined to inspect you, fast blurs of darkness roaming your skin leaving goosebumps in their cold wake.

“Hmm, maybe they see me as a threat. I can be quite frightening, you know.”

“Frightening? Yes, I can see you’re trying to pinpoint your next target. Unfortunately, I do believe you are wasting your time. Studying Nyx’s portrait won’t help you determine his weaknesses.”

“I’ve actually uncovered quite a lot about his weaknesses from his portrait.”

“Pray tell,” he leans against the wall, studying your face.

“I think his weaknesses include both nap time and bed time, along with his incredibly short legs. Dare I say, he’d be very easy to pick up and maneuver.”

“Unfortunately, you’ve picked a target that is so heavily protected you may never get the chance to see him.”

Your face lights up in delight, “so I am a frightening threat? Why else go through the trouble to hide him from me?”

“Nyx doesn’t like strangers,” his tone was so matter of fact, the shadows peered over his shoulders to watch the exchange.

“Hmm, you could introduce us. Then it’ll be a fair fight.”

“Unfortunately for you, I believe he is napping. And disturbing him from a nap is the worst part of my job.”

“So it is part of your job to wake him up?”

“I have to train him against all these frightening threats that wander the halls.”

“I only see one frightening threat.”

The shadows began dancing between you two, pulling you both closer and closer, until you realized you could put your hand out and touch his face. Your fingers twitched slightly at the intrusive thought.

“And does this frightening threat have a name.”

“Y/n.”

He smiles at your name - you assume he already knew who you were, he just wanted you to say it for whatever reason.

“And does the one who has the terrifying job of waking Nyx have a name?”

“Azriel.”

“And you also aren’t in charge of the shadows, but you provide them with suggestions?”

He laughs as he says, “They usually listen to me, especially when I command them, but sometimes they just find something they like and want to investigate.”

“Is that what happened? They wanted to investigate me?”

“Yes.”

“Why? Did they like what they found out in their investigation?”

“Sometimes they investigate pretty things or things they’ve never seen before. They won’t tell me why they came after you, but they tell me they like you.”

“Can you tell them that I like them? Or can they hear me when I talk to them?”

“They can hear you, you just can’t really hear them.”

“They’re very beautiful.” You were talking about the shadows, of course. Definitely not also about the male in front of you.

“Yes they are.” He says, gazing into your eyes, perhaps speaking about more than just the shadows.

The spell between your shared gaze is broken when a door opens and Mor comes running down the hall. “Oh, good, Az found you. We thought you got lost somewhere,” she sounded out of breath, as if she were roaming the halls for you.

“I’m sorry, Mor, you know I love to wander.” You look at Azriel, his hazel eyes meeting your gaze. “You never know what you’ll find.”

-

It had been a long day. Velaris was stunning, a beautiful gem in an otherwise terrifying sounding court, but you desperately need a warm bath and a few moments of peace. You adored Viviane and Kallias, but you needed to be away from him for a few hours. You needed peace and quiet.

And maybe a few moments to think about the beautiful male you were flirting with earlier.

You prepared yourself a bath, lowering your entire body into the warm water. You tilt your head back, enjoying the warmth on your aching muscles from walking around the palace all day, when you see out of the corner of your eye a tiny little shadow.

“Hello, sweetie,” you coo towards it. You can’t help it - they’re absolutely adorable. They remind you of little pets, but less messy or noisy. One or two of them had followed you around during the day. You weren’t sure if anyone else noticed or not, especially because you didn’t see Azriel again for the rest of the day.

The shadow came to the edge of the bathtub, climbing up your arm, nestling into your hair. “You are a silly little thing aren’t you?” You ask it, with no response. “Will you ever speak to me?” You ask, again with no response. “Will you keep me company?” The shadow didn’t necessarily respond, but you felt the shadow’s agreement as it nestled further into your hair as you sank into the bath once more.

After your bath, with the shadow still keeping you company, you put on a nightgown and decided you wanted to go down to the kitchen to look for some cookies, certain that Rhysand would only have the highest quality of late night snacks. You reiterate your thoughts to the shadow, when the shadow holds you back by your wrist for a moment.

“Is everything alright?” The shadow keeps a hold on you, not letting you go. A moment or two passes, and the shadow lets go, causing you to move forward a little. “I can go now?” You ask, which the shadow ignores again, but doesn’t keep you in place any longer. You walk to the door, opening it only to collide directly into someone.

“I’m so sorry I-“ you’re cut off by the laugh of the beautiful Azriel.

“It’s okay,” he says, and you take this opportunity to glance down and you realize he’s wearing a loose pair of trousers with no shirt on. His bare chest was just as beautiful as the rest of him - black ink trailed across his shoulders in an abstract way that your eyes lingered on. If you weren’t so preoccupied by checking him out, you might have noticed the shadows surrounding him, trying to slow him down.

A small blush creeps down your cheeks as you ask, “is your uh tiny general happy and napping?”

He smirks and says “well I’m not sure about how happy he is, but Cassian is definitely asleep. He’s kept on a separate floor because of how loud he snores.”

You hit him in the chest, “you know I wasn’t talking about - wait he sleeps on a different floor? Is it really that bad?”

He motions for you to follow him up the stairs, and before you’re even halfway up, you hear impossibly loud snoring. “Oh,” you giggle, “yeah I’m not sure how anyone sleeps in the same city block as him.”

“You have no idea. Cassian’s really susceptible to pollen, so during the spring time it’s absolutely ridiculous. We once banned him for a week so we could all sleep.”

You laugh, and then try to shush yourself so he doesn’t wake up. “Stop - if I laugh I’ll wake him up.”

“What are you doing up?” He asks, his hazel eyes looking down at you with such fondness you wanted to curl up in his gaze and rest in it for a while.

“Oh I wanted cookies, actually.” You reply. “Why are you awake?”

He stammers a little, not wanting you to know that he was walking by your door to see if you were still awake. He had wanted to see you again, your earlier encounter occupying his thoughts all day long, when he assumed you had turned in for the night.

“Uh, I was doing a patrol.” He settled on.

“Oh yeah? Wanted to make sure the terrifying threat was contained?”

He smirked, “what do you think I’m doing now? I figure if I feed the threat, it might spare me.” He gives you the sweetest looking puppy dog face, and you have no idea where it came from, but it absolutely melts your heart.

“Stop that!” you say, while hitting his chest.

“Stop what?” He says, continuing his pouting.

“You look like a sad puppy dog, stop!”

“Will it make the frightening threat not want to kill me?”

“Hmm, the frightening threat will leave you be, for now.”

You two head into the kitchen, and he immediately starts searching through cupboards.

“Mor and Cassian have the best cookies,” he says, while reaching the higher shelves to pull out random boxes that contain cookie tins.

“I didn’t know being a spymaster included knowing everyone’s taste in cookies.” 

“You never know what might become necessary information.”

He looked down at you, offering you a cookie. You accepted it, and as your hands were connected by the cookie, a few shadows danced around your arms to some unheard song. He seemed a little surprised at them, his mouth dropping just slightly.

“Are they always this kind to night court guests?” You asked, nibbling on the cookie.

“Only the pretty ones.”

“And do you always flirt with night court guests?”

He leaned in closer, “only the pretty ones.”

You took a step closer, until you’re almost touching noses.

“And do you always commit crimes with your guests?”

His breath was fanning your face. It smelled of sugar cookie and mint, and you think about what it would feel like to inhale him.

“Only you.”

He pulled out a cookie and offered it to your mouth, which you happily accepted. You don’t break eye contact as you grab the cookie with your mouth, pulling it from his fingers.

“I can’t say I’ve indulged in criminal activity with anyone else.”

His grin grows as you bite into the cookie, a few crumbs falling but a few shadows swoop down to catch them before depositing them in the trash.

“Good. I am in charge of catching criminals in the night court, and I’d hate to have to catch you and lock you up.”

A blush spread over your cheeks. You opened your mouth to respond, when Azriel straightened, his wings going rigid.

“Hide the evidence.” He whispered, as he pulled back and quietly put the cookies away back where they came from. Before you can ask him about the abrupt change, you hear loud footsteps coming down the stairs into the kitchen, before seeing Cassian appear.

He looked at the two of you, surprised that anyone else was awake at this hour. Now he was hoping the two of you wouldn’t stay too long so he could reach his secret stash of cookies.

-

During the afternoon the next day, your little shadow companion kept following you around, almost acting as a guide dog. When you came down for breakfast, it guided you into the seat next to where Azriel was sitting, even guiding your hand to grab an apple at the same time as him, causing your fingers to brush against each other. 

Currently the shadow was dragging you through the hallways of the house, into what appeared to be a massive library. It guided you to sit in a chair at a table where there seemed to be some paperwork piled on top. The shadow left you for a moment, returning with a book for you.

“Ah, thank you,” you say, petting at the shadow. It curled around your finger in reciprocation before slithering back into your hair. You began reading the book, only getting a chapter in when someone sat across the table from you.

“The threat has found where I liked to do work,” Azriel stated, looking through his papers. You smiled up at him, “I have to be prepared to strike at any moment, you know.”

He chuckled, a soft look on his face. “Well, if you plan to attack in the library, please try to keep noise levels to a minimum, Clotho gets very upset when I cause too much noise. I’m on thin ice with her.”

“Oh, I see. You have a reputation for hosting parties down here,” you muse.

He looks at you, a lazy grin on his face, “my parties are known across Prythian, only the best, most exclusive guests may attend my library events.”

“And am I on the guest list?” You ask, leaning against the table. “Of course,” he replied, leaning towards you over the table, “you might be a threat, but I’ve heard you’re one hell of a dancer.”

You laugh loudly, then remember where you are and try to quiet down. “I’ll have you know that I’m a lousy dancer, but I would be very interested in attending one of your parties anyway.”

-

The longer you stayed, the more the shadows kept maneuvering around you. Instead of just one you now had a small trio who accompanied you everywhere, hiding in your hair, wisping around your neck and wrists like jewelry when you were alone.

One night at dinner, you’re seated next to Azriel for the fourth evening in a row. You’re not sure if any of his family members pick up on this, but Kallias and Viviane also sit in the same place each night, so perhaps it wasn’t anything noteworthy.

“Can you pass me the potatoes please?”

You knew if you turned to the right, Azriel’s face would be right next to yours and your noses would be able to touch.

“Of course, can’t give you any reason not to trust me.” You winked at him, reaching over for the potatoes. When you turn back, Azriel’s expression has changed ever so slightly, and his eyes search for your face, something you can’t quite pinpoint in his eyes.

“Here you are,” you say, moving the bowl towards him.

“Here I am,” he says, not reaching for the bowl, instead keeping his gaze fixed on you. You laugh, expecting there to be some joke, but he keeps his gaze fixed on you and you find it impossible to breathe with the way he’s looking at you.

Surely someone else notices the way you two are locked in this embrace, but when you quickly glance around the table, no one seems to notice or care.

He reached for the potatoes and looked at them. “How can I be sure you didn’t poison these?”

You laugh, the spell of the moment gone, and you’re able to think properly again.

“I guess you’ll never know.”

He placed the bowl down, smirking. “Better not take any chances then.”

The rest of the dinner continued, everyone amused at Nyx’s babbling and insistence of sitting in Cassian’s lap despite how many times he’s put back into his own high chair, and yet your eyes kept finding those potatoes Azriel never ate, the bowl untouched since he took it from your hands.

-

A quick knock to your door the next morning stops you from packing, and you stride over to open it. “Hi, Azriel,” you say, leaving the door open for him to come in as you turn back around to put your folded clothes away. Several of his shadows move towards you, trying to unfold your clothes when you aren't looking.

“Leaving so soon?” he asks, shutting the door behind him gently, turning back to you with his hands in his pockets. You swat at the shadows, refolding their undoing.

“Unfortunately, my trip always had an expiration date attached to it.”

You breathe deeply, trying to ignore how good he smells when you feel him come up behind you, his chest close enough that you can feel his body heat through your clothes. From behind you, he lifts one of his hands up, almost touching you, but not quite getting far enough before retracting his hand.

He clears his throat, “what did you think of my home court?”

You smile, doing the latches on your luggage. “It’s quite beautiful. Do you get all four seasons here?”

He nods his head in agreement when you turn to face him, not noticing the shadows behind you undoing the latches to your suitcase and unpacking once more for you. “That must be nice,” you muse, “I love Winter, but I am quite tired of the cold.”

“I’m used to the cold, growing up in the mountains you grow quite accustomed to it.”

“Then you’d feel comfortable visiting me in the Winter Court?”

Azriel’s ears reddened at the brazen ask, “I can’t imagine visiting you anywhere and not feeling at ease.”

It was your turn for your ears to redden, but Azriel doesn’t let the silence linger for long. 

“Before you go, can I tell you something?”

Surprise overcomes your face, intrigued by his question. You nod, desperate to know what he has to say before you leave. He looked behind you, watching his shadows unpack your bag and put your clothes back where they had come from in the drawers.

“I was very drawn to you when we first met.”

He clears his throat, his wings twitching with nerves. “I was literally dragged to you. I was winnowing elsewhere, but my shadows brought me next to you. I was intrigued why they’d do such a thing,” one of the offending shadows gently passes over his cheek before making its way to greet you.

“They’re funny little things. I thought they were just annoyed with me because I wasn’t sleeping. And then you spoke to me. You were so relaxed with me, immediately. It’s not- most fae aren’t relaxed around me. And I really liked you.”

“I like you too, Azriel.”

He holds up a hand, silently telling you he’s not quite finished. You hold your hands up in mock surrender, allowing him to continue.

“And then you were everywhere. In the hallway, next to me at meals, on the balconies when I landed. It’s like you knew where I’d be.

“Last night at dinner, when I asked you for the potatoes.. I didn’t eat them after you gave them to me.”

You cock your head to the side, confused at this admission over something as minor as potatoes. “Did you change your mind?”

“No, no. I just- I just- the second you were about to hand them to me, I felt it.”

“You felt it?” Confusion coursed through you, completely unsure of where he was going. You enunciated each word, curious over what ‘it’ was.

“I felt it.” His tone held more conviction, but you weren’t any less confused by what he was talking about.

“What did you feel?”

“This.” And you felt a sharp tug in your chest, pulling you towards him, almost knocking you off of your feet. You gasp, holding your arms out to steady yourself, your hands meeting his chest instead.

“That- what- I-“ you look around frantically, unsure exactly of what that was. You look up, finding soft, slight amusement in his hazel eyes. Shadows swarmed around the two of you, circling your arms, your legs, your fingers. They seemed to be saying something, and you closed your eyes to listen.

Mate. Mate. Mate. 

You close your eyes, looking deep into your chest, searching for that rope, that tether between your souls. It was shadow and ice, wrapped around each other for as far as you could see.

You gave it a sharp tug, and it was Azriel’s turn to lurch forward. You laugh at his stumbling, holding his elbows to keep him steady.

“Is your offer still valid - for me to visit you in Winter?”

“Only if I can come visit you here, mate.”

Azriel’s knees nearly gave out at the name, the title he’s wanted for centuries. And here you were, right in front of him. 

His hand moved hesitantly toward your face, lingering close enough that you could feel the chill from his hand. You nuzzled your cheek into his hand, looking up at him. This beautiful, kind male was your mate.

You had known him for four days - you hardly knew him, hardly knew anything about him or his homeland. But that was okay. You knew his shadows well enough by now.

They were a pretty good judge of character.

Permanent taglist: @vanilla-seabass @cyrygher @lees-chaotic-brain @topaz125 @chessebookgirl @fides25 @lady-of-tearshed @ashbatz @fxckmiup @lilah-asteria @justvibbinghere @daughterofthemoons-stuff @mybestfriendmademe @heartless-tate @tsunami-of-tears @idrkwhatthisisimsorry @olive-main

Azriel taglist: @brieflyclassymortal @thisiskaylin

Thanks for reading! 💕

[hedwig221b]

hello! are you still doing sterek recs? if so do you know of any good ones where stiles has no idea how gorgeous he is/has no idea how obsessed derek is with him and genuinely thinks he doesn’t stand a chance in hell??? my heart burns for the drama

Sure! May I offer you these?

Gorgeous by Asterekmess (Livinginfictions)

Derek didn’t actually notice anything strange until the middle of the pack’s second year, but once he realized how many layers of clothing Stiles wore all the time, he couldn't stop noticing it. Curiosity and worry ate away at him every time the weather turned warm, until he felt he had to do something about it.

The Courting Dilemmas of a Spark and a Werewolf Prince by greenleaf

Talia smiled calmly. “I am well aware that you are not a werewolf, my darling, but I thought this would be the best reading material for you to use as reference. After all, how would you know how to act during a courting ritual if you do not study it?” “But I don’t… I’m not…” Stiles narrowed his eyes at her. “Are you setting me up with someone?” Talia rolled her eyes at him. “Don’t be obtuse, my darling. Why would I set you up with someone –” “Oh, well, that’s good, because–” “–when I have a son who is already perfectly enamored with you?”

There's a Wolf in My Bed by halcyon1993

Three weeks after helping Derek stop his uncle, Stiles returns home from school to find the new alpha fast asleep on his bed. He doesn't know what to do about it, especially when it keeps happening.

What's Held on Our Shoulders by chameleonoverhere

Derek drops Stiles off at school, and this attracts the unwanted attention and harassment of some kid. He exploits Stiles' greatest insecurity, has him asking questions about his relationship with Derek that he never had before.

Pack nights are not for getting laid by igotdamn

Stiles goes out clubbing, Derek doesn't like that very much.

Unknown Power by LadyDrace

Stiles never really understood what Derek actually saw in him. But thanks to some filth and the scientific method, he finally starts getting the hint

Stiles is a Hottie series by dragon_temeraire

A series of unrelated fics where Stiles is just too hot. (I love this trope, so I will probably end up writing a lot for this)

it's obvious, you're oblivious by EvanesDust

Derek’s new roommate is alpha bait but seems disinterested in everyone—especially Derek. Stiles is suddenly popular, but can't seem to catch the interest of the only alpha he actually likes. …or the one where Stiles and Derek get paired together in room assignments and are secretly in love with the other.

Oh. . . you love me? by yeemo_crack

Stiles is bait. . . again. Stiles is injured. . . again. His wounds are so bad he ends up in hospital, and is shocked to find Derek there when he wakes up. What follows is a very interesting conversation with said Sourwolf where feelings are revealed and Stiles says some very dumb things. Excerpt As he traced the lines on his palm he also gradually drew away Stiles’ pain. The relief was dizzying, so as a result Stiles said something dumb. “Careful Dramawolf, if you carry on like this people might start to think you’re in love with me or something.”

How to Woo Your Local Omega by alocalband

Stiles knows a pity gift when he sees one. Mostly because that’s all he’s ever gotten from anyone since the moment he hit puberty.

erroneous manoeuvres by slippingfromreality

"Hey, Stilinski!” Stiles clenches his teeth. “What do you want, Hale?” he shouts back, not bothering to turn around. The smug smirk that’s most likely waiting for him is already seared into his mind from overexposure. “A date!” the answer comes, still as loud, and most of the bystanders giggle or snort in Stiles’ direction. Stiles rolls his eyes. This is the third time this week. He’d complain that Hale’s jokes are getting pretty stale, but he’d probably be milking this situation for all that it’s worth, too, if their roles were reversed. “Wrong aisle,” he grouses back, “try the bakery section. I hear they have fresh tarts.” Or, in which Stiles grievously misjudged his bullying situation.

[masterlist link]

[the-secret-keeper]

Obey Me X Twisted Wonderland Scenario that came to me in a dream. Featuring Mammon!

Obey me!MC and the first years: *studying in a study group on a picnic blanket in the courtyard of the school, with a special guest*

Azul: MC.

Mc, looks up: Yes?

Azul: You're ruining my business!

Mc: How in Twisted Wonderland am I doing that?

Azul, pointing at Epel: You help Epel study, he helps the rest of the Pomefiore first years study.

Azul, pointing at Sebek: You help Sebek study, he helps the rest of the Diasomnia first years study.

Azul, pointing at Ace and Deuce: By proving they can pass, you motivate the other Heartslabyul students to study.

Ace, offended: Hey! We help!

Deuce, sighing: I try, you just brag that you passed at all.

Azul, pointing at Jack: You were already a good student, and I've not heard that you were helping the Savanaclaw first years, but you're on thin ice!

Azul, pointing at Grim, getting more frustrated: I don't know how you're able to pass, you have no thumbs! You can't write!

Mc: *grabs Grim before he can lunge at Azul*

Azul: Ortho, I don't know why you're here, you're smarter than a lot of third years.

Ortho: I like to be included!

Azul: AND-

Azul:....

Azul: Who's that?

Mc: That's Mammon.

Azul:....

Mc: Are you done now?

Azul:....

Mc: I help my friends study because I care about them and I want them to pass. They help the other first years in their dorms study after I help them with the material because no one wants to be your unpaid employee.

Ace: And also we don't like you!

Mc: That too.

Mammon, tugging Mc's sleeve: I did the stupid worksheet.

Mc: *Quickly checks it against the key they have*

Mc: Good job! *gives him a gold star sticker*

Mammon: *smug smiling at your new friends*

Azul: He doesn't go to school here.

Mc: No.

Azul: You let a stranger in.

Mc: His brother let him in, actually.

Azul: Ah. Who is his brother?

Mc: The man meeting with Crowley right now. He cracked interdimensional travel in order to make sure Mammon here would pass his classes.

Azul:....

Azul: He... figured out... how to travel between dimensions?

Azul: So his brother would pass his classes?

Mc, smiling: I'm just that good.

Mammon: Sure are! The only one good enough to help the Great Mammon study!

Mc: Thank you, Mammon.

[ryin-silverfish]

One nerd's musing about Chinese religion and "respect"

-I try to stay away from fandom discourse, but, much like how you can smell the stench from a dumpster fire without walking into said dumpster fire, I've noticed something that seemed to come up a lot in western JTTW + adjacent fandoms: "respect Chinese religion".

-Usually as a reason for why you shouldn't ship a character, because of fucking course it's shipping discourse too.

-And my first reaction is "Man, you are taking Chinese religion too darn seriously, more than people who are born and raised in China."

-My second reaction is "I mean, most of us are atheist/agnostic by default anyways, with a good number of what I'd call 'atheist/agnostics with superstitions': people who said they were not religious, yet believed in Fengshui or divinations and burnt incense at temples for good luck."

-My third reaction: "But why do I get the feeling that when you mention 'Respect', you are thinking about something completely different?"

-Then I reread an essay from Anthony C. Yu, "Religion and Literature in China: The "Obscure Way" of Journey to the West", and the metaphorical lightbulb just lit up over my head.

(Everything below applies more to Daoism + associated folk religions, but by the time most classic Chinese vernacular novels were written, the blending of the three religions had become well and truly mainstream.)

(The conception of gods differs from dynasty to dynasty. What I'm describing here is mostly based on Ming and Qing ones; if you went back to Han or pre-Qin times, most of these would not apply.)

(I am one of the "atheist/agnostic by default" people. I just have an interest in this kind of stuff. I am also just one Chinese person, and an actual Daoist/Buddhist/Religion Studies researcher would probably have a lot more valuable information and perspective to offer when it comes to contemporary practices and worship. Like any people on the internet: take my words with a grain of salt.)

-Even in the past, when society was far less secularized, Chinese gods are not omniscient, perfect beings whose worship is a solemn, humorless affair. Some's worship are Serious Business, but that has more to do with the sort of gods they are and the patronage they enjoy, not godhood in and of itself.

-And even the ones that you are supposed to "treat seriously" are still very human. To use an analogy I've used plenty of times before: you respect and fear them in the same way you'd respect and fear an emperor's official, or the emperor himself, because if you don't, you are not gonna like the consequences.

-However, unlike Jesus, the emperor & his officials were capable of being temperamental, flawed, or an outright asshole, divine or not. Ideally, they wouldn't be, and if you were one of the "serious" believers——people who actually got an official permit, became ordained clergy, and went to live in a temple, you were unlikely to think of your gods in that manner.

-But it wasn't a complete, utter impossibility. The lower you go in the pantheon, the closer you get to popular religion, the less "serious" the gods and their worship become. By that, I mean general attitude, not sincerity of faith. You still shouldn't be rude to them, but, well, they are more likely to take a joke in stride, or participate in the "vulgar" pleasures of commoners because they weren't as bound to Confucian moral standards or religious disciplines.

-To stretch the same analogy further: you should still respect your village head, they could still give your ass a good spanking for being a disrespectful brat, but you were not obligated to get on your knees and kowtow to them like you would do in front of a provincial magistrate, the emperor's minister, or the emperor himself, nor did they have the power to chop your head off just because you were rude.

-On the other hand, the emperor would never visit a random peasant just to help them fix their broken plow or treat them to a nice meal, but your village head could, and your relationship would probably be warmer and a lot more personal as a result.

-Your respect for them was more likely to stem from the things they actually did for you and the village as a whole, instead of something owed to this distant, powerful authority you might never get to see in your lifetime, but could change its course with a single stroke of a brush.

-Now exchange "village head" for your run-of-the-mill Tudis and Chenghuangs and friendly neighborhood spirits (because yes, people worshipped yaoguais for the exact same reasons), emperor + his officials for the Celestial Bureaucracy, and you'd have a basic idea of how Chinese religions worked on the ground level.

-This is far from absolute: maybe your village head was a spiteful old bastard who loved bullying his juniors, maybe your regional magistrate was an honest, upright man who could enjoy a good drink and a good laugh, maybe the emperor was a lenient one and wouldn't chop your head off for petty offenses. But their general degree of power over you and the closeness of your relationships still apply.

-Complicating the matter further, some folk gods (like Wutong) were worshipped not because they brought blessings, but because they were the divine equivalent of gangsters running a protection racket: you basically bribed them with offerings so they'd leave you alone and not wreck your shit. Famous people who died violently and were posthumously deified often fell into this category——shockingly enough, Guan Yu used to be one such god!

-Yeah, kinda like how your average guy could become an official through the imperial examinations, so could humans become gods through posthumous worship, or cultivate themselves into immortals and Enlightened beings.

-Some immortals aren't qualified for, or interested in a position in the Celestial Bureaucracy——they are the equivalent of your hermits, your cloistered Daoist priests, your common literati who kept trying and failing the exams. But some do get a job offer and gladly take it.

-Anyways, back to my original point: that's why it's so absurd when people pull the "Respect Chinese Religion1!!1!" card and immediately follow up with "Would you do X to Jesus?"

-Um, there are a lot of things you can do with Chinese gods that I'm pretty sure you can't do with Jesus. Like worshipping him side by side with Buddha and Confucius (Lao Tzu). Or inviting him to possess you and drink copious amount of alcohol (Tang-ki mediums in SEA). Or genderbend him into a woman over the course of several centuries because folks just like that version of Jesus better (Guan Yin/Avalokitesvara).

-But most importantly, Chinese religions are kinda a "free market" where you could pick and choose between gods, based on their vicinity to you and how efficient they were at answering prayers. You respect them because they'll help you out, you aren't an asshole and know your manners, and pissing them off is a bad idea in general, not because they are some omnipotent, perfect beings who demand exclusive and total reverence.

-A lot of the worship was also, well, very "practical" and almost transactional in nature: leave offerings to Great Immortal Hu, and he doesn't steal your imperial seal while you aren't looking. Perform the rites right and meditate on a Thunder General's visage, and you can temporarily channel said deity's power. Get this talisman for your kids at Bixia Yuanjun's temple, and they'll be protected from smallpox.

-"Faith alone" or "Scripture alone" is seldom the reason people worship popular deities. Even the obsession with afterlife wasn't about the eternal destination of your soul, and more about reducing the potential duration of the prison sentence for you and your loved ones so you can move on faster and reincarnate into a better life.

-Also, there isn't a single "canon" of scriptures. Many popular gods don't show up in Daoist literature until much later. Daoist scriptures often came up with their own gigantic pantheons, full of gods no one had heard of prior to said book, or enjoyed no worship in temples whatsoever.

-In the same way famous dead people could become gods via worship, famous fictional characters could, too, become gods of folk religion——FSYY's pantheon was very influential on popular worship, but that doesn't mean you should take the novels as actual scriptures.

-Like, God-Demon novels are to orthodox Daoism/Buddhism what the Divine Comedy is to medieval Christian doctrines, except no priests had actually built a Church of Saint Beatrice, while Daoists did put FSYY characters into their temples. By their very nature, the worship that stemmed from these books is not on the same level of "seriousness" as, say, the Tiantai school of Buddhism and their veneration of the Lotus Sutra.

-At the risk of being guilty of the same insertion of Christianity where it doesn't belong: You don't cite Dante's Inferno in a theological debate, nor would any self-respecting pastor preach it to churchgoers on a Sunday.

-Similarly, you don't use JTTW or FSYY as your sole evidence for why something is "disrespectful to Chinese religion/tradition" when many practitioners of said religions won't treat them as anything more than fantasy novels.

-In fact, let's use Tripitaka as an example. The historical Xuanzang was an extraordinarily talented, faithful, and determined monk. In JTTW, he was a caricature of a Confucian scholar in a Buddhist kasaya and served the same narrative function as Princess Peach in a Mario game.

-Does the presence of satire alone make JTTW anti-Buddhist, or its religious allegories less poignant? I'd say no. Should you take it as seriously as actual Buddhist sutras, when the book didn't even take itself 100% seriously? Also no.

-To expand further on the idea of "seriousness": even outside of vernacular novels, practitioners are not beholden to a universal set of strict religious laws and taboos.

-Both Daoism and Buddhism had what we called "cloistered" and "non-cloistered" adherents; only the former needed to follow their religious laws and (usually) took a vow of celibacy.

-Certain paths of Daoist cultivation allow for alcohol and sexual activities (thanks @ruibaozha for the info), and some immortals, like Lv Dongbin, had a well-established "playboy" reputation in folklore.

-Though it was rarer for Buddhism and very misunderstood, esoteric variants of it did utilize sexual imageries and sex. And, again, most of the above would not apply if you weren't among the cloistered and ordained clergy.

-Furthermore, not even the worship of gods is mandatory! You could just be a Daoist who was really into internal alchemy, cultivating your body and mind in order to prolong your lifespan and, ideally, attain immortality.

-This idea of "respect" as…for a lack of better words, No Fun & R18 Stuff Allowed, you must treat all divinity with fearful reverence and put yourself completely at their mercy, is NOT the norm in Chinese religious traditions.

-There are different degrees and types of respect, and not every god is supposed to be treated like the Supreme Heavenly Emperor himself during an imperial ceremony; the gods are capable of cracking a joke, and so are we!

TL;DR: Religions are complicated, and you aren't respecting Chinese religions by acting like a stereotypical Puritan over popular Chinese deities and their fictional portrayals.

[archangeldyke-all]

POLYGLOT SEVIKA IS SO REAL TO ME

do u ever think she'll say idioms from another language that doesnt really work in english? like imagine overhearing her say "he's fart" when in her head she knows she's calling someone really drunk but the saying really only works in spanish, y'know?

this actually made me laugh out loud lmfaooo

men and minors dni

sevika grew up in a multi-lingual house. her mother spoke spanish, her father spoke hindi, and to one another they spoke in english.

by the time she was entering school, she was fluent in three languages. her little brain was so flexible and she loved learning so much that she took to new languages like a fish takes to water.

she excelled in her mandarin classes; while most students were struggling with the pinyin system, she was flying through the textbook and studying hanzi in her free time.

the little boy next door to her growing up spoke arabic with his family, and she picked up on the language with ease after years of playdates and shared dinners. that combined with her hindi meant that when an urdu speaking student joined her class in the third grade, she was able to act as a translator for them.

in high school she gets a job at a little mom and pop shop. the old couple who own it speak russian to each other, constantly yelling across the tiny store at one another. three months into the job, sevika finds herself cursing people out with slavic curses she didn't even know she knew.

so sevika grew up speaking a lot of languages. and she learned most of them through practical, every day use; not through textbooks and school. she's got a lot of sayings buried deep in her mind that she doesn't even remember learning, and sometimes, they don't always come out in the right language.

"aunt sev, did'ya know that i can do ten cartwheels in a row?" jinx asks as she hauls herself into sevika's lap.

sevika lets out a long sigh as she pushes her reading glasses into her hair and closes her book, turning her attention to her god-daughter. "wow." she mumbles tiredly. you chuckle from your chair.

"uh-huh! and i can do six back flips."

sevika snorts. "sure you can, kid."

"and i can dunk a basketball!"

sevika laughs. "okay, now you're hanging noodles on my ear." she says.

you snort from your spot. "she's doing what?" you ask.

sevika giggles. "shit, that's supposed to be in russian. veshat lapshu na ushi. y'know, like, uh... you're trying to trick me."

you giggle. "hanging noodles on your ear, huh?"

her little slip ups happen more frequently when she's tired.

"how was your day, sevi-bear?" you ask as you crawl into bed beside your girlfriend.

"ah. onions and honey, y'know." she mumbles.

you freeze, racking your brain to figure out what the hell she's talking about. you can't manage. "what?" you ask.

sevika blinks at you. "one day honey, one day onions, y'know?"

"so... you were having weird cravings?"

sevika laughs. "no, no, shit, i used the wrong language again."

you giggle. "what's it supposed to sound like?" you ask. you adore the sound of sevika's voice, regardless of if you can understand her or not.

"yom asal, wa yom basal. 's arabic." she whispers. you smile.

"your voice is like honey." you say. she snorts and leans forward to kiss you.

her mix-ups also happen when she's flustered.

"d-do you like it?" you whisper shyly.

sevika blinks at you, her eyes wide as she takes in your appearance. you've decided to surprise her tonight, buying a special set of sexy undies just for her.

"holy shit. you're beautiful." she whispers. you giggle.

"i read online that this color clashes with my skintone--"

"what do monkeys know of the taste of ginger, my love? you're gorgeous."

you burst into giggles. "sev-- what?!" you cackle.

she giggles and shakes her head. "bandar kya jaane adrak da swaad, fuck what those internet losers say, baby."

you're cut off from asking more questions by sevika's lips crushed against yours.

your favorite of all her slip ups happened when she was drunk.

you woke up to a thump in your home.

"sev?" you call. you can hear her giggling from the living room. you crawl out of bed and into the living room, laughing when you find your girl toppled over and struggling with her boots. "how was poker night?" you laugh as you bend over to help untie her shoes for her. sevika grins at you, wiggling to try to pull you onto the floor with her.

"baby. 'm so fart right now."

you blink, then sniff the air. "i don't smell anything, baby. you need me to help you to the toilet?" you ask.

sevika laughs. "no, no, baby. i'm fart! farted! whatever."

you shake your head in confusion, and then it hits you. "sevika, estas pedo!?" you ask with a laugh.

sevika grins and nods up at you. "yes! 'm fuckin' wasted! y'r so beautiful, i love y' s'much."

you giggle and haul your wife to her feet, gently guiding her toward your room. "i'll set a barf bucket and some painkillers out for you, okay?"

"mmm. wǒ ài nǐ." she mumbles into her pillow.

you giggle and kiss her forehead. "i love you too, you fart."

kofi

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@kissyslut @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@lavenderbabu @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @my-taintedheart

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen @annesunshiner

@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke

@strawberrykidneystone @vkumi @fict1onallyobsessed @dvrkhcld @sweetybuzz25

@sluttysierraaa @snake-in-a-flower-crown @ruiwonderz @littlemisszaunite @biblicalcrybaby

@blackgaladriel @nightlyconfusion @dancingqu33n17 @losernb @p1nkearth

taglist!!

@sevikas-baby @ghostscandys @sevikasllver @runawaybaby3 @lesbones

@chezze-its @lez-zuha @vikashoneybee @shanesevikasfuckdoll @imheadintothemountains

@nanajustnana-a @helaenabugmom @spookymomfriendtm @leeidk87

[dyaz-stories]

a house, not a home || Cha Hyun-Su x Reader

word count: 1.4k

warnings & tags: canon typical violence, hurt/comfort, hyun-su needs a hug, unresolved tension, mentions of blood

a/n: okay so, for context, this takes place during season 2. reader and hyun-su know each other from high school and reader runs into hyun-su after the events of the first three episodes. reader also doesn't know that he is a monster/neohuman though if people are interested i could definitely write that 👀 I hope you'll like it! Please let me know your thoughts and if you'd like me to write more, and consider reblogging!

next part

The hardest thing to get used to, after what others called the Monsterization Outbreak but you labelled, more simply, the Apocalypse, was the silence. You were the type of person to always have music playing, back when you were a high schooler studying hard to get into your college of choice. Now, music was wasted electricity and, worse, could be a death sentence if anyone — anything — heard it play, or if it dulled your senses and got you killed.

At the beginning, there had been lots of sounds. Screams. Cars colliding. Stores’ alarms, blaring when the looters broke in. Sobs. In your house, for a while, there had been your father, humming quietly as he worked.

Then he’d gotten a nosebleed, left the house, and never returned.

Now it was just you, and you’d learned not to make a sound. So when there’s a knock on your door, it echoes through the rooms and rattles you to your core. For a second, you clench your trusty baseball bat. You took hours and cut your fingers planting nails into it, but it’s worth it, if only for the feeling of confidence it gives you. Truth is, you rarely had to use it. Your strategy relies on avoiding confrontation at all costs.

You release it when you realize that there are very few people who can come knocking at your door.

After all, monsters don’t knock.

You rush to the door without letting go of the bat. Your habits are ingrained in you well enough that you still check the peephole — and when you do, your heart somersaults in your chest.

You keep the hinges well-oiled and the door doesn’t make a sound when you open it.

“Come in,” you whisper, not daring to break the silence with actual words.

Cha Hyun-Su stares at you, looks like he hesitates. He always does, looks like he wants to give you a chance to slam the door back in his face. He’s covered in blood now — ‘not mine’, you know he’d say if you asked —, clutching his wrist, lips chapped, eyes hollow.

“Come on,” you say again, and this time he does, walking by you without a word. Then he goes still once more, there in your entrance, while you close the door behind him. He always does that, until you give him explicit permission.

“Are you okay?” you ask when you turn around, hands reaching for his arms, his torso, trying to check on him, though you cannot see whether or not he is hurt.

“I’m fine,” he replies with that deep voice of his, catching your wrists before you can feel for yourself. “It’s not my blood.”

It never is.

“But are you hurt?” you press, still.

He frowns, and confusion sparks in his eyes.

“I told you. I’m fine.”

You shake your head.

“No, I mean— Does it hurt? Does anything hurt?”

Hyun-Su’s lips part. He closes his eyes. His body sways towards yours, and you freeze. You feel his breath against your cheek, and his grip on your wrist becomes lighter— a caress, at most. You just stay there, not wanting to scare him away, but not wanting to leave him to himself either. You feel a pull towards him, the urge to wrap your arms around him, and you resist it, knowing that he’d flee.

Finally, he snaps out of it, lets go of you, takes a step back.

“I’m fine,” he repeats for a third time.

You don’t push it.

“Do you want to take a bath?”

Clean water isn’t easy to come by these days. Fortunately for you, you have a complex system designed to retain rain water as well as morning dew, put in place by your father, when he was still around. It’s rained recently, and with the help of solar panels you’d stolen with him what feels like a lifetime ago, you’ll be able to have hot water. Showers, you haven’t mastered — though you’re sure your dad would have figured it out by now — but you can at least offer him a warm bath.

Hyun-Su’s eyes are on you, wide and focused.

They’re ever so slightly warmer than they were when he came in.

“I would like that.”

Hyun-Su comes out of the bathroom some thirty minutes later, clean and looking more like himself. He’s wearing clothes he’d left there on one of his other visits, which you’d washed by hand among some of your stuff.

“Thank you,” he says, his voice firmer than it had been earlier.

“It’s not a problem,” you reply, and you have to stop yourself from grimacing at how fake your nonchalance sounds to your ears.

If he notices, he doesn’t comment on it.

“Have you been okay here?” he asks instead.

You bite the inside of your cheek. The answer is complicated. You’ve been safe, physically that is. You have barely caught sight of a monster since he’s last been here — nine days ago. You can’t say you’re bored, either. There’s always things to do, to fix, to figure out around here.

What you are, is alone.

And, though you don’t want to admit it, lonely.

It might be the kind of answer he’s looking for, yet you can’t bring yourself to say it out loud. It’s not even that you don’t want him to know.

It’s that you’re scared that if you did, if you asked him to stay or to take you with him, he would still leave you behind.

“I make do,” you reply, which at least isn’t a lie. “I keep myself busy.”

It’s your turn to freeze when Hyun-Su leans forward, trying to meet your eyes.

“Are you hurt?”

A smile escapes you at his cautious tone as he repeats your words at you. You look up, and there he is, inches away from your face, checking on you in the very same way you’d checked on him when he’d arrived — now that he’s had the time and space to collect himself. For half a second, the corner of his lips lifts clumsily to form a smile in response to yours, and then it’s gone, as he, too, realizes how close he is.

You see him sucking in a breath, then swallowing, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. Your heart beats so loud in your ears, you can’t even hear the silence anymore.

“I’m not hurt,” you say, and it is true for now, at least.

Hyun-Su nods without moving away. There’s an intensity in his eyes that you’re not used to, a spark, a craving.

His eyes drop to your lips.

Your whole body is tingling with anticipation, yet you don’t move, no matter how badly you want to close the gap between you. You can’t rush him. You’d never forgive yourself, if he didn’t come back.

He leans forward, just by an inch, then closer again, so close and—

He turns his head at the last moment, late enough that his cheek brushes against yours, before he pulls himself back.

That hurts. It makes your heart ache more than you’ve let yourself hurt in forever.

“Sorry,” Hyun-Su mumbles, stumbling back. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you say. You’re not sure if he’s apologizing for trying to kiss you, or for not doing it.

“I’ve brought you food,” he says in a rush, picking up his backpack by the entrance door.

You watch him as he does, and you can’t help but note the many wounds on his body. Most of them are half-closed, and you know that they’ll be gone by the next time he comes back, but that new ones will have had the time to open and heal halfway.

He hands you his offering of food, without meeting your eyes this time, and you take it from him. Your fingers brush against him, and he moves his hand away like you’ve just burned him.

“It’s late,” you say, your voice quiet even to your own ears, even now that you’re so accustomed to the lack of noise. You don’t want him to go, not just yet. “You should sleep here.”

But, just like you expected, Hyun-Su shakes his head and closes his backpack with shaky hands.

“I need to go,” he says. Then, when you don’t answer — can he tell you’re fighting back tears? —, he adds “I’ll come back. I promise.”

You nod. It’s your turn to avoid his eyes.

“I’ll be waiting,” you say.

You open the door for him, and you force yourself to look at him as he steps back outside, into the unknown, into the danger, and away from you.

He looks back, right before disappearing in the night.

“Stay safe,” you say, though you know he won’t.

“You too,” he says, knowing you will.

And then he’s gone, and you’re alone with the silence again.

next part

[cringe--is--dead]

Nekoma Manager Headcanons

To start: talk about chaos.

I imagine the manager!reader as a 2nd year, as stated in my first one shot.

You look up to the third years, though the way you and Kuroo act you'd never admit it to his face.

Once you grow comfortable with the team, and vice versa, the two of you bicker like siblings.

Kai is who you gravitate to the most, he's so calm and quiet, you two grew closer faster because of this.

Yaku and Kuroo were both lowkey jealous; they both work on being doting upperclassmen in their own ways and now their manager is anxious around them? Heartbroken.

The first years think you hung the stars.

Lev is always trying to impress you with his moves, which more than often results in him missing a spike or getting hit in the face with what was supposed to be a receive.

Most of his failed attempts end with Yaku scolding him and you are torn between allowing him to shape his team and stepping in to play peacemaker.

Shibayama is the first team member to confide in you regarding any anxiety they had while playing; he compares himself to Yaku so much that it broke your heart, you two talked and you made him see he had made the team for a reason, and he left feeling much better.

Teshiro is more awkward or shy when approaching you, he may have been a first-year when you met him, but he knew the team hadn't had a manager in a long time. He was worried they might scare you off, specifically one of the... second years... But you stuck around! He liked to be around you, even if neither of you talked all the time, your presence was enjoyable. He also tended to be one of the only members (he and Kai) that didn't get scolded or yelled at.

Inuoka reminds you of a puppy, regardless of being on the team of "cats". He was actually the first member of the team to fully approach you, more than a simple introduction. He was so excited that you were their manager, it definitely helped you feel a lot more comfortable. Did you process everything he said to you? No. Was it endearing as hell? Yes.

If Kenma isn't sitting with Kuroo on bus rides he's sitting with you, you enjoy watching him playing his games, that or he enjoys the peace whenever you nap on the bus. Once he even let you play a game on his switch. Once.

Yamamoto is really excited to show you off at any and all practice matches they have. You're so supportive of them all that it makes him really emotional, and you've learned to just pat his head and walk away. You once showed up to an away game with your nails painted in your team colors and you watched that man genuinely weep.

Fukanaga loves to make you laugh whenever the team's quiet or having a more serious meeting. He learned your humor so fast it's dangerous. You can never be upset around him, he reads you like an open book, and whatever worry follows you around is quickly destroyed by him and his shining personality.

Like I said; you and Kuroo have a sibling like relationship once you're comfortable with the team. He leans his arm against your head like a headrest, you make fun of his attempts of sounding cool. The team finds it hilarious, and other than Yaku and Kenma, you're one of the few people he's terrified to piss off.

Kai is the upperclassman you look up to the most, he's calm and collected, smart and nice. He's everything you strive to be as a student and an upperclassman. He helps you study, he helped you learn about volleyball and all the info that comes with that when you first joined, he made sure to include you in any and all group hangouts when you were new.

Kai supremacy.

Yaku and you have, not to sound like I'm stuck in the 2020 fandom, but "parenting" personalities together. Yaku yells at Lev, you follow behind by telling Lev you two care about him and just want to see him get better! Yaku may worry when a teammate gets minorly injured, but you fret, despite knowing minor injuries occur in this sport. The time where you're on the same page exactly is whenever you take the opportunity to bully Kuroo.

He hates it.

I have to say: years ago when I first got into Haikyuu I made an OC for it, and she was Nekoma's manager. This entire thing is self-indulgent. If I was any good at art I'd have so many comic series with her. Sad.

Also I just saw the movie so I am hyperfocused on my boys.

[roomsofangel]

pairing god of death!seonghwa x fem!reader | established relationship

genre honestly just crack.. nothing serious, just some good fun and giggles :p

word count 2.3k

synopsis since dating the god of death, you never had a dull moment when he decided to stay back and live his life as a mortal (with the exceptions here and there, he cannot help it after all. he is who he is) — whether it be helping him work the washing machine, explaining that ‘lit’ doesn’t actually mean anything caught on fire, or simply also trying to help seven other deities work their way into blending in. today’s quest? the air fryer.

mini wooyoung + san cameo :p !

a/n hi my loves! long time no see </3 i do genuinely apologize for my lack of updates, i have been overwhelmed with a lot since my last post! with ateez concert prep, moving, and my grandmothers eye surgery so things have been quite hectic! i’ve had some work be deleted by mistake so i have been rewriting a lot :( however!! i had some time and an idea.. so i decided to whip up this short work for you all as an apology! (and reminder that i’m still here:p)

decided to try out something new (or at least new to my blog) third person pov is my more stronger point than second person and it felt fitting for this in particular, so i decided to try it out here! so let me know what you think! (and who knows i might end up turning this into a mini series of things like this.. perhaps also with the other boys??)

seonghwa stood in front of the air fryer, eyeing the device with a mixture of confusion and frustration. with a sigh, he approached y/n, who was diligently working on her laptop. “yn, darling," seonghwa called out, a hint of annoyance in his voice. "how do you operate this confounded thing?"

y/n glanced up at seonghwa and couldn’t help but smile at his perplexed expression. she set aside her laptop and made her way over to him. “my love,” she began with a soft laugh, studying the air fryer before them. “what is giving you trouble this time?”

seonghwa gestured towards the air fryer, a hint of irritation and embarrassment on his face. "this contraption," he said, a slight pout in his voice. "i’ve been trying to figure out how to use it, but it's more bewildering than a newborn god's first thunderstorm."

y/n chuckled, her eyes darting between seonghwa and the air fryer. she couldn't help but find his struggle with modern appliances endearing. “let me guess," she teased, a twinkle in her eyes, "you’ve decided to take up cooking, and this little demon is giving you grief?"

seonghwa grumbled, crossing his arms across his chest. "i merely wanted to cook a simple meal for us, my sweet," he said, his irritation giving way to a hint of embarrassment. "but this device is more stubborn than a mortal refusing their fate." he tapped the side of the air fryer with a touch of disdain, as if it were more than just an appliance. "it has no respect for a god, i tell you."

y/n couldn’t help but chuckle again, a mixture of amusement and affection in her tone. "well, my dear lord of death, i think it's safe to say appliances don't care about your godly status." she sidled closer to him, looking at the air fryer with a smirk. "but don't worry, i shall attempt to guide you through this fearsome battle."

seonghwa let out a huff, but his expression softened as y/n approached further. he secretly relished her banter, even if it did jab at his ego. “your guidance would be greatly appreciated, my darling,” he said, a hint of mock formality in his voice. “please help me tame this infernal contraption before it becomes the cause of my first minor divine tantrum.”

y/n couldn't help but giggle at seonghwa’s formal tone. she loved it when he tried to maintain his air of divinity, even in mundane situations. "of course, my fearless deity," she replied, playing along. "let’s begin by turning the dial to the temperature you desire."

she pointed to the temperature control knob on the air fryer. "this little knob here is your first step to claiming victory over this beastly appliance."

seonghwa watched intently, his irritation melting away as he listened to her instructions. he took the knob and twirled it cautiously, setting the temperature to the desired level. "and now?" he asked, his voice laced with a hint of child-like excitement.

"okay, great!," y/n chimed in, clearly enjoying the moment. "now, we select the cooking function. It should be labeled as 'air fry,' 'bake,' or 'roast.' since you want to cook us a meal, 'air fry' is the one you're looking for." she pointed to the selection dial next to the temperature knob. "this knob here will help you choose the cooking function. go ahead and give it a little turn."

seonghwa's eyes followed her finger as it indicated the selection dial. he gave it a careful twist, a sense of accomplishment slowly building in his chest. "ah, i see," he murmured, his voice laced with determination. "so far, so good. what’s the next step, my beautiful guide?"

y/n smiled, noticing the hint of pride in seonghwa's eyes. "you’re doing great, hwa," she reassured him. "now that we have the temperature set and the function selected, we need to place the food inside."

she gestured towards the basket inside the air fryer. "this part," she explained, "is where you put whatever it is you want to cook. it could be chicken, fish, fries, anything really. you just need to arrange it in a single layer here, not too crowded."

seonghwa examined the air fryer's basket with a mix of contemplation and concentration. "ah, so it's like a cooking chariot," he said, "i must arrange my offering within its depths, like placing souls in my domain."

y/n chuckled at the analogy, "exactly," she affirmed

with a nod, seonghwa began to place a few frozen french fries into the basket, his movements surprisingly methodical. "like this?" he asked, glancing at y/n for reassurance, and perhaps a bit of praise.

"you’re doing great. just make sure they're not too close to each other. they need some space to cook nice and crispy." she smiled, secretly enjoying the sight of the god of death arranging frozen french fries with careful precision. "once you've got all your food in there, we can move on to the final step."

seonghwa nodded, placing down the last few french fries, ensuring they weren't too close to one another. a sense of accomplishment washed over him as he completed the task. "very well," he said, his voice tinged with triumph. "i’ve arranged the offering within the cooking chariot. what’s the final step in this culinary quest?"

y/n couldn't help but grin, "the final step," she began, trying not to laugh, "involves closing the lid and setting the timer for the desired cooking time." she pointed to the lid of the air fryer, gesturing for him to lower it. "just gently place the lid back on top of the air fryer, and we're almost there."

seonghwa carefully placed the lid on the air fryer, his hands treating it with a respectful touch. "like this?" he asked, double-checking that he had completed the task to her satisfaction.

“yes, just like that," she confirmed, nodding in approval. "you’re catching on faster than i expected, my love."

he then turned his attention to the timer dial, a sense of accomplishment swelling within him. "and what about the timing? how long must i wait before these french fries offer themselves to me as a delicious sacrifice?"

she glanced at the timer dial and then back at him, chuckling quietly. "for these french fries, a few minutes should suffice," she replied. "let’s start with... eight minutes and adjust from there if needed. just give that timer dial a gentle turn to set the desired time."

seonghwa obediently gave the timer dial a few rotations, setting it to eight minutes. he stood back, admiring his handiwork with a mix of pride and curiosity. "there, i’ve set the timer for our sacrificial fries," he declared, his voice filled with authority. "what now, my wise advisor? do we sit and wait for the air fryer to perform its magic?"

y/n laughed at seoonghwa's use of the term ‘sacrificial fries.’ "that’s right, my love," she replied. "now, we wait for the air fryer to work its magic and transform those ordinary frozen fries into a crispy, scrumptious snack." she leaned against the counter, watching him with a fond smile.

seonghwa nodded, his eyes transfixed on the air fryer. "i see," he said, his voice filled with anticipation. "so, we simply wait and allow the air friar to carry out its process of transformation. it’s fascinating how mortals rely on these contraptions for their meals."

he moved closer to y/n, wrapping an arm around her waist. "and what shall we do while we wait, my sweet guide?"

y/n relaxed into seonghwa’s embrace, enjoying the feeling of his arm around her. however, before she could respond to his question, they were interrupted by the unexpected knock on the window. they both swung their gazes towards the source of the disturbance.

y/n chuckled, recognizing who it was, and excused herself from seonghwa's embrace to head towards the window. "sounds like wooyoung," she muttered with a knowing smile.

as y/n approached the window, she found wooyoung standing outside, a perplexed expression on his face. "you locked the window, you dolt," wooyoung called out, an amused grin playing on his lips. "now let me in."

y/n laughed softly, shaking her head at wooyoung's impatient tone. "hold on, you impatient fool," she called back, her tone light and teasing. "i’m opening the window." she undid the latch and pulled the window open, allowing wooyoung to enter.

wooyoung casually stepped inside, his eyes flickering from y/n to seonghwa and back. he quickly assessed the situation and smirked. "ah, i see our dark and broody friend is struggling with modern appliances again," he said, his tone laced with playful mockery.

seonghwa frowned, his irritation flaring at wooyoung's teasing remark. "watch your tongue, lover boy," he warned, his eyes narrowing. "i’ll have you know i’m simply learning the ways of modern cooking."

wooyoung chuckled, his smirk widening. "ah, yes, the mighty god of death struggling with an air fryer," he teased, thoroughly amused by the situation. "must be quite a humbling experience for you."

seonghwa's jaw clenched, his patience wearing thin. "humbling indeed," he muttered, his voice laced with annoyance. "but i assure you, i will master this contraption in no time."

y/n interjected, trying to diffuse the situation between the two gods. "alright, enough you two," she said, her tone light but firm. "wooyoung, stop teasing dear seonghwa, and hwa, stop taking everything he says so seriously."

seonghwa grumbled, still clearly annoyed, but he settled down, his irritation slightly eased by y/n’s intervention. wooyoung, on the other hand, chuckled, apparently enjoying the banter. "oh come on, yn," he protested, a mischievous grin on his face. "i’m just having a bit of fun. it’s rare to see the broody one so frazzled."

y/n rolled her eyes, but a hint of a smile played on her lips. "yes, yes, we're all amused by seonghwa's culinary struggles," she agreed, glancing at seonghwa lovingly.

seonghwa, still disgruntled but slightly calmer, shot wooyoung a glare, silently warning him not to push his buttons further.

wooyoung chuckled again, his eyes darting between y/n and seoonghwa, clearly enjoying the tension. "oh, come on, hwa," he said, using seonghwa's nickname casually. "lighten up a little. it’s not like i’m challenging your divine status on the battlefield."

seonghwa’s eyes narrowed, a hint of irritation in his gaze. "no you're just mocking my struggle to understand a simple mortal contraption," he retorted, his voice still gruff. "and stop calling me hwa. only yn gets to call me that."

wooyoung feigned innocence, raising his hands in mock surrender. "ah, my apologies, oh great lord of death," he said, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "but you have to admit, it's quite entertaining to see you in this domestic setting, trying to figure out how an air fryer works."

seonghwa’s jaw clenched, his patience wearing thin under wooyoung's relentless teasing. "i fail to see the humor in this," he said curtly. "and for your information, i’m only familiar with weapons and tactics, not kitchen gadgets. but i assure you, i will master this air fryer before you can say 'i love you' in greek."

wooyoung burst into laughter, thoroughly enjoying seeonghwa's response. "oh, you're a riot, hwa," he chuckled, wiping a tear from his eye. "and good luck with that. i can say 'i love you' in greek quicker than you can figure out how to change the temperature on that air fryer."

y/n tried to maintain her composure, but a laugh escaped her lips at wooyoung’s retort. "oh, honestly, you two," she said, shaking her head amusedly. "i swear sometimes you're like children."

she stepped closer to seonghwa, placing a comforting hand on his arm. "darling, don't let him get to you. you’re doing fine."

seonghwa huffed, his irritation slowly subsiding in her presence. "i know," he mumbled, his voice softer now. "it’s just... he knows how to push my buttons." he glanced at wooyoung, who was still smirking, seemingly enjoying their banter. seonghwa rolled his eyes but a hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

wooyoung, seeing seonghwa's slight smile, chuckled. "oh come on, hwa, you know you love our banter," he teased, leaning against the wall. "admit it, it adds some variety to your brooding existence."

seonghwa's smile widened slightly, but he feigned indifference. "i assure you, i do not enjoy your childish antics," he replied, his tone lacking its usual grouchy tone. "but i suppose you have a point. it’s always amusing to see how far you're willing to push my patience."

wooyoung grinned, pleased that he was slowly breaking through seonghwa's tough exterior. "ah, you see, hwa," he said, a smug expression on his face. "you’re actually starting to enjoy our little banter. soon enough, you'll be begging me to stay and keep you company."

as wooyoung finished speaking, they all heard a sound from the kitchen, as if something had been knocked over. y/n turned her attention to the kitchen, a frown on her face. "what on earth was that?" she said, already on her way to investigate the source of the sound.

when they entered the kitchen, they found san sitting on the counter, with a mouthful of fries. surprisingly, he looked guilty, like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. but the source of the sound was obvious: a bottle of ketchup that had been knocked over, leaving a growing red pool on the floor.

san’s eyes widened as he noticed them, his cheeks still puffed with fries. he quickly swallowed the food before speaking, his voice laced with guilt. "uh, hey," he said, offering a sheepish smile.

y/n crossed her arms, a mix of surprise and irritation in her gaze. "you left the back door unlocked again?" she asked, mainly towards seonghwa, shaking her head. "san, how many times do i have to tell you?"

san shrugged, unabashedly continuing to munch on his fries. "i was hungry," he said simply. "and the door looked inviting."

[weasleykisses]

Never His (Remus Lupin x Reader)

A/N: when James needs help asking out Lily, he enlists you to play his fake girlfriend to make her jealous. In the process, you end up making Remus Lupin green with envy.

Word count: 6.2k

You weren’t expecting James to throw himself into the chair across from you in the library, his face holding the most desperate of looks. He brushed his messy hair back from his forehead as he got situated in the seat. James looked like he had run all the way across the school to find you. You raised a brow, peering up from the textbook on the desk that you were trying to study. Remus turned to stare at his friend as well, taking a break from his own reading. 

“Y/N, I need your help. It’s super important.” That could mean a lot of things, you thought. He was known for being quite the drama queen after all. 

You replied smoothly, “I’m afraid I’ve got to hear the terms and conditions before I agree to anything.”

“Be my girlfriend,” James said bluntly. This took you by surprise. Your jaw fell slack, looking at him as if he had two heads. Was he insane or just incredibly stupid? What the hell happened to his obsession with Lily Evans? Since you met the boy in third year, he hadn’t shut up about the beautiful redheaded girl. She was certainly a catch too, with her looks and her brains. Who wouldn’t want to be with a girl like that?

You could feel Remus sit up straight as a board in the seat beside you, staring over at James with his eyes narrowed. The change was barely noticeable. James probably missed it; he was never very perceptive. You, other hand, noticed. Of course you did. You noticed everything about Remus. He was like a novel you had read a million times, comforting and familiar. Anything out of place, you took notice of. 

You could certainly feel the tension coming off of Remus is waves. He never liked when James and Sirius fucked around with people for the hell of it. It wasn’t that he was a stick in the mud or anything, it was just that he hated when those two disturbed his peace with you. Hated it. Couldn’t he spend a few hours away from them? Enough time to appreciate your company?

Cautiously, you asked, “James, have you gone mad?”

He shook his head, eagerly reaching across the table and clasping both your hands between his, shaking them with excitement. “No, I have not! I’ve actually come up with a brilliant plan, but it will only work if you agree to help me out,” he said a bit too quickly, and you furrowed your brows, still awfully confused by the entire thing. 

Remus was silent, just observing. He was angry, how could he not be? You were his girl. Well, not really. He had never asked you out, or implied he wanted you to be his girlfriend. But everyone knew that he liked you, maybe not you yourself, but everyone else. This included James. He should know better than to ask you out, especially right in front of him. It was cruel.

He wanted to argue with his best mate, James. Give him a shove in the shoulder and tell him to fuck right off. He refrained though. He wasn’t that bold, nor did he have the right to control what you did with your life. He wasn’t your boyfriend. He wouldn’t ever be your boyfriend. He just had to keep his mouth shut. 

“Mind explaining then, Prongs?” you asked, pulling your hands from his grasp to cross your arms over your chest and leaning back in the chair.

“Be my girlfriend, just for a couple weeks, maybe a month. I’ll do anything you want if you help me out.”

“Why would you want me to be your girlfriend for any amount of time?” you scolded him. 

“I want to make Lily jealous. The only way I can do that is showing her that I’ve moved on to other girls, but I don’t actually want to date anyone else,” he said, “You’re one of my best mates, and I don’t have to worry about you catching feelings for me like the other girls would.” He cracked a grin when you rolled your eyes at his cockiness. James wasn’t ugly, but he also didn’t have girls falling over themselves to be with him like Sirius did.

“Oh, thank Godric. I thought you actually wanted me to be your girlfriend.”  

“Of course not. You’re like a little sister to me,” he laughed.

“Anyway, what would I have to do?”

Be my fake girlfriend for a month and I’ll buy you anything you want. We only have to pretend when we’re in front of other people, especially the girls. It’s basically fool-proof.”

“More like foolish, you dumbass,” you sighed. It wasn’t the worst proposition, considering James and his family were rich as fuck. He really could buy you anything you desired.

Remus was pretending that he didn’t care, his eyes trailed back down to the novel in his hands. James was just up to no good again, nothing out of the ordinary. He was hoping you would decline James’ request, but he knew that wasn’t going to happen. You were great friends with James, and were usually willing to help him out in any way you could. He hated that he had to sit there and listen to you discuss plans to date like it was completely normal. 

“Please, Y/N, please. You're the nicest girl I know. You gotta help a friend out,” he begged.

Just shut the fuck up, James. Remus thought to himself. He would never say it aloud though. 

“Fine. I expect half of Honeydukes inventory as compensation, but I’ll do it,” you told him with a heavy sigh. He punched the air enthusiastically then hugged you so tightly around the middle that he lifted you from your chair and swung you around in his arms. He was quite strong from being a dedicated chaser, after all. You laughed nervously, pushing against his shoulders so he would set you back down. “Really, it’s no big deal. I’m doing this because I think you and Lily would be cute together, alright?” You told him.

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied swiftly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Sit next to me at dinner today. We’ll play it up then, make it public.”

“Okay.”

He turned around after giving you one last thumbs up, rushing out of the room to no doubt tell Sirius about his plan. They did everything together, so of course Pads would either figure it out himself or find out after James caved and explained himself. You took a seat again in the wooden library chair, sinking down with your hand pinching the bridge of your nose. 

“I don’t know why you entertain him,” Remus finally commented. He sounded bitter, but you figured it was just because your study session was interrupted. 

“No harm done. I get a bunch of candy, he gets one step closer to the girl of his dreams,” you reasoned, resting your cheek in the palm of your hand. 

If you were being honest, you wished that it was Remus asking you to be his girlfriend, but Remus didn’t care for you like that. You were just friends. Both of you enjoyed your quiet time together, whether you were reading or drinking a cup of tea. You liked to go to Hogsmeade together and drink butterbeer in a booth, talking about nothing and everything at the same time. It was something the other boys weren’t interested in. You could try hanging out with Lily, Dorcas, and Marlene, but they would always drift off to talking about boys, James in particular.

Remus just had a way of keeping your attention, entertaining your curious mind. You two had become so close over the years because of it.

You were the one that snuck into their dorm on nights after the full moon, healing potions in your pockets and bandages at the ready to clean up his injuries. You didn’t mind that he was a werewolf, in fact, you thought it was pretty interesting. It compelled you to work harder in your studies to be a healer, so one day you might be able to lessen his pain. Needless to say, you really liked Remus. He was handsome, tall, positively dreamy, and oh-so-sweet like honey and sugar. He was one of a kind, and you would be lying if you said his determination to stay just friends didn’t sting a little. 

But the world keeps turning whether or not the boy you fancy likes you back. You tipped your head down again to study the text in front of you. Studying was especially hard now that you couldn’t think of anything other than James asking you to be his girlfriend before you mustered the courage to ask Remus.

______

The next time you saw James was at dinner that evening. You sat beside him after he waved you over. Normally you would sit on the opposite side with Remus flush against you to make room for everyone else at the table. Today, Sirius sat beside Remus and you took Sirius’ seat right beside James. He slung his arm around your shoulders to get you closer to him. 

The brunette practically pulled you into his lap with how eager he was, and you yelped, garnering the attention of the other boys at the table. Remus scowled, turning his head down to glare into his soup. James didn’t have to be so dramatic. Lily would get the point without all the theatrics. 

In fact, Lily was sitting at the other end of the table with her eyes trained on you and James. She looked a little perturbed, and when James turned to glance down the table, she quickly turned her head away, pretending she wasn’t at all interested. Real smooth, Lily. 

You knew Lily liked James, at least a tiny bit. She talked about him far too often not to. You were in a few classes together, and James was a frequent topic of discussion. While Lily would never admit to her crush, she hinted at it here and there. It was a similar situation for you and Remus, who you vehemently denied having a crush on for a few years now. Lily was probably shocked to see you in the arms of someone else. 

You played it up for the crowd, people from the surrounding tables looking at the both of you and whispering amongst themselves. Y/N and James? How scandalous. 

Your hands were clasped together, fingers intertwined and sitting between you on the table for everyone to see, and it disgusted Remus. Sirius was practically gagging at the sight of two of his best friends being so openly affectionate, but at least his disgust was jokingly. Remus was genuinely disturbed. He wanted to leave the dining hall and head right to his dorm for the night, just to avoid the pangs of betrayal assaulting his heart.

He ducked his head to take a deep breath, trying to pretend like nothing was wrong. That James and the girl of his dreams openly acting like a couple wasn’t completely tearing him to shreds.

He figured Sirius caught on to how he was feeling because the black haired boy turned to him with a sympathetic, half smile, as if to say “what can you do?”. 

“I missed you today, babe,” your voice dripped out, oozing with fake attraction. A sickly bright smile crossed your lips as you looked at James. Even worse so, James leaned forward and gave you a kiss to your cheek, and it didn’t even phase you. Since when were you and James so close? Even with the two of you playing it up, Remus never expected you to be so casual about it. It was like flirting with James came to you so naturally.

The pair of you laughed together and faked lovey dovey smiles here and there. It seemed to work too, because after only about ten minutes of PDA, Lily was packing her belongings and marching right out of the Great Hall with Mary following closely behind, most likely to console her. James grinned even brighter at that and pumped his fist in the air. 

“I think it’s working,” he said happily, and you nodded. You still had to hold hands, to keep up the image for everyone who didn’t know it was fake, but at least you could chill out a bit without her around. You sipped on the baked potato soup in front of you. 

“Working a little too well, don’t you think? What if she gets so upset that she moves on from you completely?” Remus asked, rather grouchy as he did so. He felt so sick to his stomach, unable to take another bite of his dinner without his inside churning. 

He decided he was done with his dinner after looking up to his two friends all cuddled up with each other, deciding he had better things to do than endure this torture. He packed his bag and stood. You watched him stand, and quickly followed, gathering your belongings just as he did. 

“Rem, wait up. Where are you going?” It wasn’t like him to leave dinner so early. You figured something was wrong. Your worries were only confirmed when he let out a long, exhausted sigh. You knew him too well to let him sneak past unscathed. 

“I just need to take a walk. Not feeling the best,” he lied. Well, technically it was true. He felt like shit, just not in the way he wanted them to think. 

Behind your back, you missed the look Sirius and James shared, that sneaky smirk coming to rest across James’ face. You also missed the way Peter snickered a bit under the cover of his hand. His friends were absolutely awful for doing this to him, but they thought it was the only way to wring a confession out of him. Hit two birds with one stone, as they say. Get both Lily and Remus jealous at the same time, hopefully uniting two perfect couples in the process. 

“Well, I’m coming with you. We can go take a walk in the courtyard.” He didn’t protest as you hurried to catch up him and his long legs, your robes flying behind you as you rushed ahead. Just because you were “dating” James didn’t mean you were going to ignore Remus when you thought something was wrong.

And so, you followed your tall friend out of the dining hall into the hallway, making a b-line for the exit doors heading into the transfiguration courtyard. He felt a little better knowing you were with him and not cuddled up to Potter anymore. He was incredibly jealous, not that he would do anything about it. He didn’t even have the right to be jealous either. He had to remind himself time and time again, you weren’t his. You never were and most likely never would be. 

It wasn’t long before the pair of you found your ways to a covered bench in the courtyard, sitting side by side, staring at the fountain in the middle of the snow dusted grass, looking into the pool of frozen water complete with golden coins preserved in the bottom. It was a muggle tradition that some students brought from home to the castle. They’d throw a coin in and make a wish, hoping it to come true.

There had been a few times you tossed a galleon in there, begging Merlin himself to give you what you wished for most in the world. The boy sitting right beside you, in fact. You had been making those same wishes for years now, and each time you were let down. Remus never asked you to be his girlfriend, nor did he kiss you in the rain like you always fantasied about. He hadn’t noticed the hints you would give him about how you felt, either ignoring them or choosing to be oblivious to them.

You cried many tears over the years because of your feelings for the boy. How conflicted you felt about confessing to him. You worried you would miss your opportunity and he would move onto another girl, but you also feared for your friendship. You didn’t want to make things awkward and lose him completely.

You watched the snowflakes as they fell around fountain, wondering what happened to all those wishes. Every wish you made begging to finally be his.

“Aren’t you cold?” he asked, looking down at your skirt and knee high socks, a thin slit between them exposing your bare skin to the frigid, snowy air. 

You shook your head, snapping out of your daze. “I’ll survive,” you laughed, pressing your forehead to his shoulder. “What’s on your mind?”

“Really, Y/N, it’s nothing.”

“The only other time I’ve seen you storm out of the dining hall before having dessert was the day Sirius put a whoopie cushion under your seat. You can’t lie to me, sweetheart.” He felt his heart pang in his chest at the nickname you always used for him. He wanted to be your sweetheart, to love and kiss you whenever he wanted. To hug you to his chest and profess his love into your ear. He wanted to hold hands with you during lunch, and to have you sit in his lap in the common rooms, regardless of who was around to see. He wanted everything to do with you.  He wanted to just drown in your soft words and your gentle touches.

 But he knew, just because you want something doesn’t mean you’ll get it. It felt like he needed you, to breathe, to eat, to sleep, to function like a normal human being. Maybe it was his naive 18 year old brain telling him these things, but he swore that he loved you more than anyone could imagine. He loved you from the tip of your nose all the way down to your feet. Every inch was perfectly tailored just how he liked it.

“Whatever it is, you’re gonna be alright,” you assured, nudging his shoulder gently with your own. For a moment, he forgot about the entire James situation and just thought of you, how you made him feel, and he did feel alright. He always felt safe when you were around. Even when he was his most vulnerable after a full moon, he trusted you to care for him. 

James didn’t know you nearly as well as Remus did. He knew it was stupid to worry about you catching feelings for the brunette chaser with a wicked grin, but he couldn’t help it. Not when he had seen girls flock to his two attractive best friends for years. He knew it was stupid, and he knew he should live in the moment. 

In this moment, he had you to himself. He could pretend you were his, all he ever wanted. 

“I guess you’re right,” he mumbled, fiddling with the strap of his bag. “You always know how to make things better.”

“Me? What about you? You always know just the right things to say.”

He wanted to say just how much he loved you. He could feel the words stuck in the back of his throat, and he just wanted to cough them up. You took his breath away, literally.

It was quiet for a long time, just the two of you sitting there quietly, listening to the chilly breeze flying through. Your hand rested beside his on the bench, your fingers close enough that if you moved a couple centimeters you would be touching. What he wouldn’t give to hold your hand in his and press kisses to your knuckles.

He needed you, and he was just so scared. Seeing you with James made him upset enough, but the thought of losing you completely made him feel worse. Your time at Hogwarts was ending soon, and he worried so much, overthinking every little thing.

He wondered if you thought about the same things. If you worried about your life when you graduated. Where you would go and what kind of person you’d turn out to be. He knew you spent a lot of time working on healing spells, assisting in the infirmary when you could. You wanted to be a healer at St. Mungos, saving people.

Maybe you could save him, too, keep his head above water when things got difficult. The life of a werewolf is never easy, and he couldn’t imagine what it would be like without you by his side to ease the pain.

“When we are done with all this- Hogwarts, I mean…You’ll keep contact with me, right?” he asked, feeling that familiar sickness churn in his stomach, afraid of what you might say. He knew you would never say something cruel, but he found himself preparing for it each time. He was afraid he would never hear from you again once you found a good job at the hospital taking care of patients, running around each day busier than the next. 

He felt the self-deprecation sneaking back in. 

You nodded your head furiously. “Of course! I would never forget about you, Remus, you know that right?” When he didn’t respond, you reached up to take both his cheeks in your cold hands. You ran your thumbs along the scars across his face ever so delicately, he felt like you were running a feather against his skin. He sighed into your touch, leaning his head into your hand. “You’re my best friend. Nothing and no one could ever take me away from you.”

Bravely, he reached out so his strong, calloused palm rested on your thigh, his fingers pressing warmly against that gap between your socks and your uniform skirt. Shivers ran down your spine at the touch. He was so gentle with you, it made your heart melt into goo at the mere thought of his touch. You were sure he could hear your heart beginning to race with how hard it pumped in your chest, how excited he was making you. 

“What did I do to deserve you?” he murmured, just loud enough for you to hear him over the wind blowing against your ears. 

“If anything, I don’t deserve you.” You ducked your head as you felt heat rush into your cheeks. “You’re perfect, Remus. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

After taking a deep breath, he started, stumbling a bit over his words, “Y/N- I have something to tell you.”

And you swore he was going to kiss you. As he stared down into your eyes, his eyes flickering down to your lips a few times. You waited for it, sitting there in anticipation, watching his every move. You felt his hand resting on your thigh, rubbing small circles against your bare skin. Goosebumps rose to the surface and you shivered more from the contact than the cold breeze whipping against your face. 

You were sure he was going to kiss you, if only the doors to the courtyard didn’t burst open with students barrelling through the doorways. Quickly, you pulled your hands down to your lap and he shoved his hand into his pocket. Your eyes trailed to the ground, and you mentally cursed yourself for being too slow, for not kissing him yourself when you thought the time was right. 

Maybe he didn’t intend to kiss you. Maybe he was confused and was just showing you affection to reciprocate your own. Either way, you felt a spark with Remus that you hadn’t felt with anyone else. The kind you think you’ll only know once in a lifetime. 

Whether you were fake dating James or not, you weren’t going to let that feeling go.

______

You two were the star couple of the party that night, standing in the middle of a celebration for Gryffindor, James holding a cup of liquor in his hand, and you carrying something fruity. He had his arm hooked around your neck, pulling you in close so his lips just barely skimmed over your ear. You smiled, finding the feeling of his skin against your ear and the breaths he was exhaling to be quite ticklish. 

Lily was behind you, watching from the corner as she sipped on something nonalcoholic. She was never a drinker, and that just made it all the more infuriating for her to see you two dancing so intimately while she was stone-cold sober. 

“I reckon she’s getting close to her breaking point, doll. You’ll be getting a shitload of candy once she approaches me about this entire thing,” he whispered and you laughed, nodding your head in agreement. Dating James wasn’t actually that bad. The only downside was that Remus wasn’t spending nearly as much time with you as before. Probably because you had to spend most of the day following James around to keep up the illusion of this whirlwind love affair. 

It hurt, not seeing your best friend. You missed his company. He was your favorite person ever, with his pretty eyes and his adorable smile. The way his sandy hair would fall over his eyes was effortlessly beautiful, and his sweaters made him look so intelligent and mature, two qualities you loved in men. James was unfortunately neither of those things. Perhaps that’s what made “dating” him so simple. There were no surprise feelings between you two because the things you each wanted in a significant other were completely different. 

You wanted a Remus in your life. Someone so handsome it had you swoon. Someone kind and soft and gentle around the edges. Someone with a sweet tooth and a pretty smile that you could stare at for days without getting bored of it. You loved to talk to him about anything and everything, he just made it all so interesting. You wanted someone who shared your love of books, candy, and peace and quiet. Remus Lupin was all of that and more. 

He was just so lovely. You wished he was the one you were dancing with and not James. You wished that it was his lips pressed to your ear, whispering sweet nothings to you instead of these nonsensical plans of making a certain redhead jealous.

He sat on the couch, talking with Peter about something that happened in potions that morning. He looked stunning with his face lit up by the flames in the fireplace. If only you could walk over there and take a picture, keep it forever, look at it whenever you were feeling down.

He glanced up at you every now and again, just checking. He never looked for very long though, turning his head down with a grimace on his face each time. Remus couldn’t stand the sight of you so intimate with someone else, even if he knew it was all fake.

But how was he supposed to know if you’d accidentally grown feelings for his friend over the course a few weeks. You’d gotten much closer, hugging and kissing on the cheeks and forehead quite often. You laughed when James told jokes no matter how stupid they were. You attended his quidditch matches, which you hated doing before this entire mess.

Remus was afraid you changed your mind somehow. That you now thought James Potter was someone you could see yourself dating for real.

He couldn’t handle the thought, feeling himself beginning to crumble. He tried to maintain the conversation with Peter, only to feel himself zoning out, eyes trailing over to you helplessly every time.

You wrapped your arms around James’ neck, dancing slowly at the song that played over the record player. “Are you okay with me kissing you?” He asked, “I think it’ll be the nail in the coffin to finish all of this.”

You pulled back a little, your face draining of its color. Did you want to kiss James? Not particularly. Did you really care? It was hard to say. You wanted to be kissing someone else, a certain boy on the couch, but that was out of the question. You and James were just friends, two actors trying to woo the girl he so desperately wanted. It was like acting in a school play. It was just pretend. Harmless, really. James had kissed tons of other girls before you. It was normal for him. 

You always kind of imagined this sort of situation with Remus. It stung a little to know that you would sooner have the chance to kiss James Potter as opposed to your actual crush. 

You peered over your shoulder for a second to see Lily looking absolutely taken with James, and then turned back to the boy in front of you. It was a tough decision, but you ended up nodding your head. “It’s okay. Nothing too dramatic, yeah?”

And with that, your quidditch playing, Lily-obsessed friend kissed you right in the middle of the bustling party. You lips pressed together and you shut your eyes so you didn’t have to look at him. He ran his hand down your cheek and over your jaw for a moment as he leaned in closer, really trying to make it look authentic. 

Thankfully, it was short lived because soon enough, someone else had grabbed your arm firmly and tugged you out of James’ clutches. You turned around to be met with a sweater vest clad boy glaring down at the two of you with an unimaginable amount of frustration in his expression. His entire face from cheeks to the ears was red, and his lips were downturned into a frown. 

“Rem-” you started, but he interrupted you.

“That’s enough,” he muttered, and you could clearly hear the hurt in his voice. James tried to make it better, claiming that it was all for show, that he should calm down a bit, but Remus wasn’t having any of it. “I think your little fake relationship thing has run its course, don’t you think?”

“What’s wrong, Remus?” you questioned, peering up at him with those bright e/c eyes he had come to adore, and had missed over the past few weeks. “James, you stay here. Remus, let’s head to the dorms,” you suggested, motioning with your free hand to the stairwell leading up to the boys’ room. You certainly didn’t want to cause a scene.

James nodded, brows raised when he looked at Remus, a small smirk on his face. You didn’t know what he meant by that expression, but Remus sure did, and he was regretting the day he ever confessed to the boys that he fancied you. He wondered if James had an ulterior motive by fake dating you; if he did it to make Remus jealous, because if that were the case, he most definitely succeeded. 

As you led him to the staircase, you noticed over your shoulder that poor Lily was walking over to James, her head ducked down shyly as she approached. James, as confident as ever, flashed a sparkly white grin and started a conversation as if it were the most easy thing in the world. 

Remus followed you up the stairs and into his room, which was empty considering everyone was downstairs partying the night away. You shut the door behind him, finally letting go of his arm so you could cross yours over your chest. He was tall, and you had to look up to meet his eyes, but he was never intimidating to you. Not even when he was angry like today. He was too gentle to yell at you, much less hurt you in any way. 

“Mind telling me what’s got you so upset?” You tapped your toes on the floor, the soft clicking noise ringing out in the quiet room, music from outside muffled by the heavy door. 

You didn’t notice the water that was beginning to gather in the corners of his eyes.

He thought for a moment, before a whisper fell from his lips, and you almost didn’t catch it. 

“Why did you have to kiss him?” he asked weakly, his voice suddenly a lot softer now that you were alone. A lot sadder, too. “Why did you have to kiss him right there in front of me?” he repeated, squeezing his eyes shut and he pressed the palms of his hands to cover them. He felt heartbroken. Absolutely crushed that you had kissed his best friend, that he had to watch as you did so. It was so casual, like it didn’t even matter to you, but it mattered the world to Remus. 

He felt he might cry. Tears bubbled up in the corners of his eyes and he tried his hardest to keep them from dripping down his cheeks. No matter how hard he tried, he found himself crying anyway. 

You were crestfallen when you noticed the tears running down his cheeks, a gasp coming from your lips. He was crying, and it was because of you. You had done this to him, your best friend, the guy that you supposedly had a crush on for nearly 4 years straight now. You’d never made someone cry; it broke your heart. 

You rushed up to him, bringing your hands up to move his, letting them sink to his sides. Softly, with the pads of your thumbs, you wiped away the salty tears running down his cheeks. He didn’t even shy away from your touch, he just let you wipe them away silently, not daring to look you in the eyes. His eyes were stuck to the ceiling, trying to blink away what he was feeling. You being so nice to him only made things worse. He felt like an ass. You could do whatever you wanted. If you wanted to kiss James, so be it. He had no right to be upset when you weren’t his. 

“Remus, sweetheart, it’s gonna be okay. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

It was silent for a moment as he thought of what he wanted to say, as you stared up into his teary eyes with concern etched across your face. It was getting harder and harder to pretend everyday that he wasn’t bothered by your presence when you weren’t in his arms, when he couldn’t freely touch you and love you, and kiss you silly until you were laughing with glee. It took so much effort to suffocate all those feelings down. He didn’t think he could fuck things up anymore, so he said the only thing he had on his mind. 

“I love you.”

You were at a loss for words. He loved you? You felt your heart beat faster in your chest at his words, and you shook your head, clearly having misheard him. There was no way that Remus Lupin loved you. Not in the way you thought he meant. Surely, he would have said something by now. Surely you would have caught onto what he was feeling this entire time. “What?”

“Don’t make me say it again, Y/N. I’m already pathetic as it is,” he muttered, his eyes now drawn down to the red carpet below their feet. 

“Remus Lupin loves me,” you whispered mostly to yourself, “You love me?”

He chuckled bitterly, “As catastrophic as it is, yes, with all my heart, Y/N. Since the very moment I laid eyes on you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I-I would have never kissed James if I knew-”

“Why would I tell you and fuck everything up?”

“Fuck everything up? Remus, I just wasted my first kiss on James Fleamont Potter when I could have been kissing you!”

“What?” Now it was his turn to be confused. He looked up to you finally, his eyes still glassy from crying, lips just agape with surprise. 

You shook your head and laughed. “I’m in love with you! It’s always been you.” Your arms wrapped around his middle, hugging him to your chest and laughing into his sweater. He immediately took notice of your warmth radiating through his clothes, bringing him back to the real world. You loved him. You, the girl of his dreams, were hugging him and confessing your love to him. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and brought you closer to his body, cradling you like a precious artifact in his possession. He never wanted to let you go again. 

He sighed, resting his chin on the top of your head. “You have no idea how hard it was keeping my cool around you all this time. When I saw you snuggled up to James, I wanted to kill him. He knew better than to make me jealous.”

“James knew how you felt about me?”

“Sirius, James, and Peter all knew.”

“And none of them thought to enlighten me? The betrayal.”

You inhaled the scent of his sweater, chocolate bars and mint coming in like waves. He was everything that you loved in the world all condensed into a single perfect person. He fit in your arms like a puzzle piece.

“Guess you’ve got to break up with James now,” he mumbled into her hair, stroking the back of your head, “Because I’m never letting you go ever again.”

“I think that can be arranged.”

[mikaela-the-slut-expert]

I have a request... though you don't have to write it or anything... just since I saw a new post, I just decided to write this thought in my head. Again, you don't have to write it if you don't want to.

Anyway, hualian with m-reader, right BUT the m reader that they are with is a clone.

If you have read dear door then you know the doctor, he has the ability to make clones NOW give that to m-reader and send hualian and a manhunt to find the real m-reader.

They find him chained under a mountain, serving punishment for whatever reason you can think of, and the only person the real m-reader trusts is his clone. Slowly warming up to hualian through constant company and assurances from his clone...

...

..

.

Smut scene is asked but not required...

Clones?

HuaLian x M!reader

Wanted to write headcanons for the first half and write an actual story for the smut part. Also read some of dear door and now you've got me hooked 🖐️😔. I got as far as knowing he has clones but not how they work 😭 since the doctor was a demon though we makin reader a ghost. This was actually hard, sorry if this sucks y'all 😭

Ignore grammar mistakes

!!! Blowjobs, gagging, sex, foursome, clonecest, orgasms galore, covered in cum, practically a gang bang if I say so myself.

____________________________________

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng have a third lover, he's a little strange but they love him dearly.

They love your clone that is, not that they would know

Your clone says strange things sometimes.

"Oh, I would've loved this", "I wonder what I'm doing right now?"

You're right here what do you mean?

They've decided, maybe it's a weird quirk of yours.

So without your knowledge, your clone has gained the affections of two very strong and important men.

Hua Cheng has been gazing at 'you' lately. Recently he's been suspicious of something.

He caught you crying.

While usually he would've immediately comforted you, he had noticed you were calling your own name while sobbing into the pillows.

Xie Lian has also been studying 'you' lately.

You've never been a fan of the public and usually hide your face behind a different form. The day they took 'you' out on a date and you forgot to hide your face, the ghosts seemed very confused.

They kept their space that day.

It was unusual so Xie Lian went looking around trying to see what was going on.

"I could've sworn he had been killed...", "Haven't seen that face in years..."

But you had been here the whole time?

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng eventually talk to each other about it and find out they have similar suspicions.

They confront 'you' about it and you bust into tears in their arms immediately.

Through muffled sobs, your clone admits what he is. Just that, a clone .

He tells Xie Lian and Hua Cheng everything, and tells them that his real name is just ' Kèlóng' which means clone.

So if this is Kèlóng, and just a clone... Where are you?

It doesn't take long at all to find the real you, Xie Lian knew where you were most likely being kept.

The real you however isn't as, trusting, as Kèlóng is.

You also look different. Older, scarred, and irritated.

Kèlóng, looks younger and bubblier.

They do get you out of under that mountain though, and let you stay at Paradise Manor.

You only really agreed because Kèlóng said it was safe.

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng know you don't know them, and you technically aren't their lover but they can't help but love you anyways.

They're careful with you, and let Kèlóng do a lot of things since you only seem to trust him.

It takes a while for you to be comfortable in the presence, especially Xie Lian's since he's a god.

You don't hate them, you guess. They aren't mean and even though at first you had been scared like a feral cat who hisses and scratches they seemed to keep caring and loving you anyways.

So after some time you let them in.

Kèlóng is happy, his creator and lovers are getting along well. And maybe you'll become their lover too!

He predicts correctly.

Kèlóng made it a game to roam around in your form instead of his usual young looking self, so Xie Lian and Hua Cheng can't tell who's, who.

Eventually kisses, and affections start getting muddled between both of you.

And you? You didn't say anything because you enjoyed it.

Hua Cheng is the one who finds this out. He kissed you thinking it might be Kèlóng. When Kèlóng, in his normal look, and Xie Lian walk in though, Hua Cheng and Xie Lian figure it out.

Especially with the way you don't pause to stop. When Hua Cheng pulls back in embarrassment, and tries to apologize, you pull him back closer and continue making out with him.

That's when they decide to ask you to be their lover as well.

Of course you agreed.

🦊🪷

You are not a clone fucker, you never looked at your clone and thought, 'Yeah, I would fuck myself'. But this situation makes you think, you might be on the border edge of being considered clonecest?

The situation being, you gagging on your own clones cock that is. How did you get in this situation you ask? Hua Cheng and Xie Lian were curious. They wanted to see you, intimate with your clone and well... You looked at their stupid, handsome faces and said yes.

You weren't expecting to be gang banged! What the fuck?! You're brought back to be present when Hua Cheng's hips smack against your ass, forcing you to take Kèlóng's cock deeper down your throat.

You gargle, and Kèlóng is generous enough to pull out of your mouth. Since when was your dick this good? Since when was Hua Cheng's so big? This is ridiculous.

"How... How much longer are we going to do this?" Your voice is raspy now when you talk now. Hua Cheng has been arranging your guts for hours now and you swear the stupid ghost hasn't cum once.

Hua Cheng's chuckle vertebrates in his chest. "Gege hasn't even had a turn yet, why are you so impatient?" He runs his hand down your spine and then pulls your arms behind your back, forcing you to take him deeper. You whine loudly and huff through your nose.

You glance over to where Xie Lian sits. He's just watching, he always watches. It's embarrassing, his pretty eyes gazing at your face, soaking up everything they can. Kèlóng moves away from you and briefly you can hear your clone urge Xie Lian to take your mouth.

Xie Lian complies, you can tell when the bed dips in front of you and you're suddenly met with Xie Lian's cock. It's not like you hate this. They know you don't hate it. If you did, you wouldn't have lurched forward to deepthroat Xie Lian.

Xie Lian runs his fingers gently through your hair and slowly rolls his hips. Unlike your clone who so excitedly fucked your throat. It feels like you're floating right now, not having to think about anything. Your cloud palace is interrupted when Kèlóng fists your hair and pushes your head down on Xie Lian's dick.

Hua Cheng takes his chance to fuck you deeper, harder. He must be close. Xie Lian has also started rocking his hips faster. They fuck you in a way that keeps you full. Not one second do you not have a cock in you. Fuck it turns you on.

You feel someone grab your hand and put it in an 'o' position. Distantly you hear Kèlóng, "Let me use your hand Y/n, please please please" it's not like he wait for you approval. He's already got his, yours?, his dick thrusting into your hand as if you chose to jerk him off.

You're surrounded. By your lovers, by men, by cocks. You love it and soon your body racks with another orgasm. It's not long until the men around you cum either.

They choose to make it messy. Xie Lian pulls out and cums on your face, though it's obvious he was sheepish about it. Hua Cheng doesn't, he pulls out and shoots an abnormal amount of cum across your ass and lower back. Kèlóng, your own clone, cums into your hand and manages to get it in your hair.

You fall limo into the bed and pant softly. All of them are looking at you. To them you look good like this, covered in all their cum. This is where you were meant to be not under that mountain.

"why are you guys looking at me like that..?" You tilt your head.

They're definitely going to fuck you again. What God should you pray to?

[brocedethesis]

midnight thoughts but basically. even if we are going into the stereotype that 'guys don't feel as much' or 'f1 is a brutal sport, it is what it is, you need to be cut out for it or simply leave', when we take the crazy lore that is brocedes it's actually very undeniable that nico and lewis had something. this was the true definition of bromance as of those days, and of a simple, genuine friendship these days. at one point of time, for a long time too, they were proud of each other. from go-karting to respective pre-f1 races and then, straight into f1. i see the 2008 hug, the smiles as they both get to be on the podium, the happiness in their faces, and ohhh there's definitely something there. maybe not the irresistible urge to kiss or something, but a glowing ball of light. pure joy for each other.

as it slowly descended into the 2016 penultimate fight, you could also see the pain in their eyes. the title decider press meet always gets me because lewis is trying to be as detached from his words as possible, almost like a third person reciting a history as if he didn't live that himself. nico, on the other hand, is just pained as he tries to get himself past all the things he did just for a single championship. if what i read was right and he had paused contact with family, cut down on cycling, even got a lighter matte paint for his helmet bc it could gain him a fucking secondth of an edge (this is still crazy to me), its just painful. all the calculations and permutations you do to win, and at the opposite end of it all is a person who is a friend. was a friend? he didn't know by the end of it. the mind games they played, the banned moved the detailed studies. the utter betrayal of not even knowing the fact, but understanding the fact that they were going to sabotage each other just for a trophy at the end of some 20+ races where they shed blood sweat and tears for a win. at the end of the day, its a sport, and they were just humans.

of course it would break something, irreparably so. i respect nico for retiring days after his win. i respect lewis for actually becoming a better teammate, and even a friend to many.

now, years later, almost going to be a decade, both understood what brings them happiness at large. but there's always going to be that one part of the heart that bugs them, no matter how detached and away from it they are. maybe on lone days, they wonder if it was worth it all. maybe on loner days they wonder if its possible to rebuild what they lost, but it is not. so they see each other on the grid, at the opposite ends, cherishing (either privately or publicly) the way they were friends.

edit: more here and here! i cannot stop yapping about them so i've made a tag thread as well with lots of other content called #The Brocedethesis on this page lol

[verystrxxwberry]

What would the guys from Eldarya Origins be like as parents? How many children would they have? Who was the one to bring up the idea first? How did they reveal it to their partner and to others? Or anything else you can think of. Thank you for keeping the fandom alive! <3

ELDARYA THE ORIGINS; the routes as fathers!

♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: Sfw, fluff, reader x route, TO routes as fathers! ↝ 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: Hii! This request was absolutely adorable. I hope you enjoy it :). Also, I'm sorry for any misspellings! I'm feeling quite sick today and have 0 energy to check it many times, so I'm sorry if something doesn't make sense at all! ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•.

EZAREL

Who brought the idea? You. It was very difficult for him to imagine a little creature created through the both of you, but he really wanted to see what the result would be. A little kid with pointy-ears, your eyes, or your hair… the kid would be so cute! You took advantage of a cozy night under the stars, as you both talked about your future, to bring out the idea of being parents. Ezarel seemed truly vulnerable that night, showing a clear insecurity of not being a good dad and husband enough. You reassured him by saying that if he messed up, you both would mess up together. After all, it would be the first time being parents for both of you!

If he was asked years ago about imagining himself being a father, he’d laugh a lot. But now he was truly considering it and getting information from every single dad of Eldarya to be a good father. He definitely took notes and studied the theory until the only thing left to learn was the practice.

How was the revelation done? It was thanks to Valkyon that he accidentally confessed it to everyone. The elf was seen smiling to his plate, to which Valkyon asked, “are you finally losing your mind?”

Ezarel chuckled proudly, “no, man. I’m finally becoming a father.”

It was so casual he wasn’t believed at first. Not only Valkyon heard it, but also some of the teammates that were around. It was very unbelievable at first since Ezarel was the type of person to make faces or mock kids to make them cry, or to hold his laugh whenever a kid coughed his lungs off.

How many children would you have? Three. The first one was a decision, one you both searched for. The second one was an accident, but he took a liking to this profession of being a father. And the third… well, he requested it himself. Those were two guys and a girl, each one with three years of difference between them. He suggested unserious names to all of them so it was you who decided the names at the end.

Taking care of his babies… with the first baby, Ezarel was truly shy, almost babyphobic. He feared touching them and hurting them by accident. Tthe first time he changed the diaper he almost threw up so that’s definitely your task. He can make them burp, he can dress them, play with them… but he is not seeing or smelling that monstrosity. 

Once, his first son peed on Ezarel’s lap as they were playing and since that time, Ezarel became much more careful with playing with them… he can identify the focused expression babies do when they’re making their needs. 

Plays a lot with them, and will accidentally make them cry from any “magic” trick. He quickly holds the baby and shushes him, kissing their head gently, “hey hey, I’m not trying to give you any trauma here…” he mutters, more stressed himself than what the actual situation is.

Taking care of his infants… He is a very fun dad and definitely plays a lot of roleplay games with his kids in the street. Ezarel’s childishness definitely match the mindset of your kids. Yet he also makes sure to educate them with proper manners. It’s always good to make jokes, play around but respectfully! Always lets them win whenever they are playing hide-and-seek or any other game.

Taking care of his teens… this period is difficult, very difficult. But Ezarel makes it easier to deal with it. Ezarel knew that he needed to set boundaries and help his children to face what the adulthood would be like, since no one is prepared to suddenly be responsible for everything in their lives. It’s a phase of change and lots of revoluted hormones, which means that there will be some arguments sporadically. And more, among your children. Ezarel would be frustrated for things going that way, but he is aware that it will change later. 

Arguments can happen with his children or among them, but Ezarel is aware of that being a part of growing up. He uses his humor to break the ice, but it sometimes goes wrong, seeming like he is mocking his teens. Damn, he doesn’t want them to be depressed because of a joke he made. He gives them space to think and calm down before going to have a deep conversation with them, always aiming to understand their side. Teens tend to not feel understood, so whenever his kids say "You don't understand it!" he always says, “Probably, but what if you were so nice to explain it to me? I cannot help you if I don’t know what the problem is.”

He makes sure his teens know that their words always do matter.

Ezarel is imperfect so he might not have much patience sometimes, also snapping back. But he doesn’t take too long before going to invite the dialogue to fix things.

He wants to be a present father, one that is helpful and reliable. He’ll be a good listener to his children, and a good advisor as well. One of the things he is most proud of is to see them grow and take their paths. He knows that once they are adults, he cannot do much other than giving them advice and support, but won’t interfere in whatever they wanna do. Ezarel wants them to be free to pick, to experience and check the things they like and what not. Sometimes people need to get an impacting consequence for them to know what’s good or not.

NEVRA 

Who brought the idea? You both watched the kids play around in the garden, the sunset making the sky beautifully calming over you. You were resting your head over his shoulder as you enjoyed of the breeze, the joyful laughs of children making you smile warmly. Nevra was quiet as well, enjoying of the whole moment. Then you started by asking, “would you like to be dad someday?”

Nevra considered it. No one is prepared to be a father when it’s your first time, and he feared being a bad father due to his experience with his own parents. But just as he takes his job seriously, he might take the role of a father very serious. He wants to be the father he never had, a father who can raise a happy and free kid. Nevra answered to you that yes, he’d like to be a father one day, even if the idea made him scared. He knows exactly what to not do, and he wants to give your kid everything he didn’t have. Their happiness would be his happiness as well.

How was the revelation done? He organized a dinner with your closest friends. He waited for the dessert time to finally say it, before revealing that the dessert would be a cake you specifically chose for that night. You both stood up in front of everyone and said that you were going to have a kid, which was received with lots of claps and happiness, also tears from Karenn and congratulations to everyone. It was a lovely night.

How many children would you have? One, and it’s enough for him. It was a guy which he treated like a prince. The name would be picked between you both, and the help and opinion from Karenn.

Taking care of his baby… Completely obsessed! How can this tiny creature be so adorable? His heart melts whenever the baby makes any cute sound, making him smile and gently squeeze the baby’s cheeks. He loves carrying them and cleaning them. Sure, changing the diaper is disgusting, and a mess at first, but he can hold the disgust for a while until the baby is completely clean. Definitely auntie Karenn is there to help whenever any of you need a hand.

Taking care of his infant… he is good with kids in general, so his son is definitely lucky. He is attentive to them, always teaching him to say “thank you”, to apologize for bad stuff and good manners! He doesn’t know how to play with them, but he tries. He is like an open book of emotions with his son, always there and showing him his affection.

Taking care of his teen… Well here… Nevra suffered quite a lot during this phase. He was scared of his son rejecting him all of a sudden, or ruining his relationship with his son. Nevra learnt to communicate with patience and delicacy towards him, always being a support for him and helping him out with stuff. During the first argument, he acted worse than he prepared himself to, yet he was quick to get quiet and go for a walk to think about it. He didn't want to stress his son out and less you. No one is born knowing how to be a father, and it was his first time dealing with his son arguing with him.

At night, he talked to you, asking for suggestions about how to make up after that argument. And you both reached the conclusion that having a nice day in family could solve it. Firstly, a good breakfast together, Nevra could apologize to his son during it and spend that day doing activities together. Nevra always made sure that the three of you could be as happy as possible!

VALKYON

Who brought the idea? He once brought the subject to you, being straight to the point about having kids at some point of your lives. You told him that you were scared of having kids, yet he reassured you. Valkyon loves kids. The pregnancy wasn’t really planned, but it was a great surprise for both of you. His paternal instinct always appeared with kids around him, and definitely has gotten baby fever more than once. So when he finally sees his children, he becomes absolutely happy. He even cries from happiness, hugging you and expressing verbally how happy you make him.

How was the revelation done? He didn’t really know how to do it, so lend you the responsibility for it. You organized a meeting with your closest friends, and you were the one confessing it. Everyone expected it at some point! All children loved Valkyon and treated him as a father, reason why Valkyon confessed his desire to be a father at some point of his life.

How many children would you have? Just twins!  The moment you both knew that you’d bring a couple of identical creatures to the world, you both were more than satisfied with it. It’d be chaotic to raise two at the same time, and to difference them… Valkyon holds them with a blanket, looking at them with the greatest smile ever, you’ve never seen him so relaxed, so calm. Taking the role of father is something he had dreamt at least once in his life. The two girls were so cute and tiny on his arms! You’ll pick one name for one of the girls, and he’d pick the name for the other.

Taking care of his babies… Valkyon loves teaching them about the world they were recently introduced to. He plays with them, sings to them any kid songs in dragon language from his childhood and definitely spends most of his time with them and you. Valkyon has no problem in changing their diaper. Of course, it is disgusting, but he can take that. Patience is the word that describes him perfectly. Whenever both girls start crying in the middle of the night, he stands up and goes to comfort them, sometimes falling asleep with them on his arms or lap.

Taking care of his infants… He tells them fictional tales every night, takes part of their games and spoils them a tiny bit (a lot). He allows them to climb him as if he was a tree, as he is pretty tall in comparison to them. He might chuckle at the adorable acts of your girls, staying still and hugging them once they both reach his torso.

Valkyon might be a very soft and peaceful dad, but whenever he sets boundaries, he is firm with them. He might be pretty strict with the sleeping time, making sure they sleep proper hours. And also taking care of their meals so they are constantly eating proper food and not sweets.

He also teaches them to be curious and connect with nature, learning about plants, food, culture…

Taking care of his teens… Valkyon is patient but firm, never letting his girls go into dangerous places alone. He has made himself very trustful between his girls, which will allow you all to have deep conversations and not feel judged by any of you. Valkyon is always there to be a quiet support, since he isn’t very good with words, but he won’t hesitate in acting if someone hurts your girls (and you, of course). He is protective of his family. He will gladly teach them how to protect themselves whenever they are in danger.

It’s a phase in which Valkyon realizes that you both are starting to be less influential in the path your little girls take. You both are a guide for them, but once they both become adults, they might fly like free birds. And Valkyon, no matter how protective he is, he cannot cut their wings. He will support them and always be there to advise them, to help them out of the bad moments.

Arguments weren’t regular at all, but whenever they happened, they were mainly quiet. Whenever the discussion reached a point in which any of you disagreed, the silence appeared and everyone took their time to calm down. Valkyon sets peace in chaos, and he has no fear in being honest with his girls, sometimes a little bit rough. But he wants them to be prepared to face everything life has to offer. He never lets the conversation be forgotten because he knows it is important for parents to care about their children's worries. 

LEIFTAN

Who brought the idea? You both were sitting on the hanging chair on his room, his arms around your waist as you sat comfortably on his lap. He was reading a book which, honestly, you had no idea in which language it was written. He started talking about how cute would it be to have a happy family, to raise a child and teach them how to appreciate the beautiful things in life. You chuckled, looking up at him, “have you ever considered how would our children look?” And Leiftan got slightly flustered, nodding and connecting his eyes with yours.

“Yes, many times,” he’d mumble timidly. Your answer was a simple “me too,” that left him thinking. Even anxious about the chance of creating a family with you. He was excited about the idea but terribly scared of not being prepared enough to take care of another living being. His own care for others’ well-being was already a way of fathering, so he had to take care of his kid just as he took care of you and others, but maybe… with more responsibility for.

How was the revelation done? It was confessed with a lot of pauses, nervousness and even tears. It was expected at some point, since you both were very parent-coded. Leiftan was very loving with kids and whenever you joined him, people thought that you were the parents of any random kid.

How many children would you have? Just one, but it was more than enough for him. Leiftan takes care of the minimum detail and lives for his family (you and the little girl you had). He lets you pick her name, even though he’d prefer if that name had a meaning behind.

Taking care of his baby… Leiftan is the typical dad who sleeps besides the cradle, being very attentive with your girl’s needs. He gets very anxious at first, when he doesn’t know what the baby needs, but he learns fast how to recognize the baby’s cries. And whenever he accidentally makes the baby cry, he starts apologizing and trying to comfort them. “Oh no, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it, dear… are you ok? Please do not cry, my love, don’t cry…”

Nevertheless, Leiftan takes responsibility for everything needed. He is the typical dad to show his baby everything “look! That’s a butterfly. Isn’t it pretty?” as he talks with the softest voice ever. He is such a cutie with his girl.

The moment he heard your little girl say her first words… you both ended up crying together, very happy and cutesy!

Taking care of his infant… He loves to teach his little kid how to read, how to create flower crowns and do other handmade crafts, so your girl can be creative and never get bored! Leiftan gets creative in the kitchen and makes  you both meals with special shapes. 

Leiftan as a dad worries a lot about his little girl, and gets very anxious when she’s far for too long. What if she gets hurt or sick?

He also teaches her a lot about culture, literature and to be curious about the things around her, but always taking care of the dangers.

Taking care of his teen… The biggest challenge. He gets confused with the emotional changes in your girl and never forces anything. Leiftan gets quiet and emotional whenever his girl is mad because of the minimum stuff, and writes tiny letters to her when words aren’t enough: “I’m here if you need to talk. We both know that I am clumsy with words, but I love you more than anything else. Your parents will always be here for you, my sweet.”

Leiftan makes sure that his girl feels loved by you both. And he also makes sure you’re happy and doing fine, not wanting this phase to affect you so much. It’s unavoidable that you three end up hurt after a discussion, but it won’t last too long. In fact, you three would be together the next day, sitting in the garden as each one of you is reading a book in silence. And those times are the ones that you and Leiftan seek for so deeply. It is lovely.

✰; remember to reblog and like this post to support my content. I hope you enjoyed it!

[fairy-writes]

Hello!! I really like u and think ur really cool! Can I request an rivals to lovers with hoshina? Like you've been rivals ever since high school and noticed that you both become a part of the defense force at the same time and the rivalry grew stronger and then like you've heard the other officers talking bad things about him and then instantly defended him since you acknowledge him as someone who is strong and wouldn't let anyone bad mouth about him despite being rivals and then he heard it

once again i really really really love u and have this friend crush on u <33

ONE-SIDED CONFLICT

Reblogs and Comments are greatly appreciated!!

__________________________________________________________________________

Fandom(s): Kaiju No. 8

Pairing(s): Hoshina Soshiro x Reader

Word Count: 0.9k

Genre(s)/Tag(s): Female!Reader, Rivals

Notes: Not my best work, but I don’t really know how to write Rivals to Lovers rip

I really hope you enjoy it, at least a little bit! Thanks for reading! <3

__________________________________________________________________________

Your rivalry with Hoshina Soshiro was more of a one-sided conflict. Well… that wasn’t explicitly true. He just got under your skin a lot more than you got under his. He always watched you with that shit-eating grin on his face, like he was watching something amusing. 

And that aggravated you. 

But… Nothing aggravated you more than people smack-talking him. 

“Can you believe it?” 

“I can’t!”

“Why would they bother letting someone with blades be a Vice-Captain?”

“I’ll bet you 1000 yen that he bribed his way to that position.”

You clench your hand around your coffee mug until it nearly cracks as you hear your fellow members of the Third Division talking about the newest Vice-Captain.

Hoshina Soshiro.

The very name gets your blood boiling and your heart racing. You were both blade users in the Defense Force. Perhaps some of the only ones. You were the only ones to primarily use blades. Sure, you could use guns and heavy artillery if the situation called for it. But there was something about slicing through kaiju flesh that gave you a certain thrill. 

It also didn’t help that you and Hoshina had some sort of ‘rivalry’ going on. It wasn’t outright declared, but seeing as you two came from different clans that specialized in kaiju slaying, the odds were pitted against you from the start. 

It was always, “Look at what Hoshina Soshiro accomplished!” and never, “Good job at rising through the ranks!” So perhaps that contributed to your upbringing and the need to take him down. But even so, you could acknowledge his skill and prowess with the katana and even more so with slaying kaiju. 

Which is why it made you so angry to see other people try to tear him down. 

Your coffee mug actually cracked when you flexed your fingers and started leaking said coffee all over the table. But you paid it no mind.

“Don’t you have better things to do?” You snap at your teammates, and they look at you dumbly. Almost like they can’t believe someone is standing up for Vice-Captain Hoshina. 

He was just that, your Vice-Captain. 

They should respect him. 

“I’m sorry?” One of your teammates asks incredulously, and you roll your eyes.

“He obviously earned that position. So you should respect that. He wouldn’t be our Vice-Captain if he wasn’t qualified!” 

“Perfectly said, Platoon Leader.” You flinch, duck your head out of reflex, and turn to see the man you had been talking about. 

Hoshina Soshiro is watching you with that same shit-eating grin he always has on his face. He studies you with a calm expression. As if he didn’t care about what others were saying. And maybe he didn’t. But you certainly did. 

Everyone turns back to their meals with quiet grumbles, but no one says what they had been saying to his face. He jerks his head to the side for you to follow him. So, you begrudgingly get up and follow after, leaving your cracked coffee mug and spill behind. 

You follow your new Vice-Captain down the hall until you reach his new office. He leaves the door cracked open to give you an escape. That was the peculiar thing about him. He always gave you an escape from whatever you were doing. Whether that was sparring with him or studying together, he always gave you an out. 

Hoshina claimed it was to preserve your dignity when he whooped your ass in whatever competition you competed in. But, more often than not, you didn’t need an out. 

Because most competitions ended in draws between the two of you. 

“Vice-Captain?” You ask, mildly confused when he comes to a stop before the large windows behind his desk that overlook the Third Division base. Captain Ashiro’s is a floor above his, but his office is still impressive in its own right. 

“Y’know, fightin’ with your fellow teammates isn’t the best idea.” He said, and you huffed,

“It was hardly a fight.” You grumble, and he turns, his eyebrow arched and a look on his face that screams, “Really?”.

“We both know that infamous temper of yours would’ve gotten you into more trouble than was worth.” He borderline teased, and you can feel your ears burn with embarrassment. 

He knew you well. That was one of the downsides of being rivals with him since high school. He knew all your tricks and tics just like you knew his. 

“If I may, Vice-Captain—”

“Soshiro.” He cuts you off, and you stare stupidly, almost not comprehending the words that just came out of his mouth. But you gather yourself and push on, 

“Fine, Soshiro. If I may, they shouldn’t be talking about you like that, regardless of how you feel. You’re pretty incredible with a blade, and they should respect that.” 

Hoshina—no, Soshiro—stares at you almost as stupidly as you felt, eyes cracked open slightly in shock. 

Then he begins to laugh. 

And laugh. 

And laugh. 

“I think that’s the nicest you’ve ever been to me!” He wheezes, wiping a tear from his eye as he composes himself and leans his hands on his desk. Your ears and face burn, and you very nearly accept defeat and make your escape when he approaches you from around his desk. 

He stops just before you, staring you in the eye with that same stupid grin on his face. 

“How about we meet outside work, and you can tell me how incredible I am?” He teases, and you just nod idiotically. Captain Ashiro knocks on his office door and enters, saying something about the reports she needed for the latest meeting. You are then dismissed. 

You stop outside his office and lean on the wall, cupping your burning cheeks. 

Did you just agree to a date?

[burins]

on Torchwood and the temptations of queer tragedy

(originally published in yaoi zine 5, here for ease of reading but also you should check out the fantastic scholarship in the free full PDF!!)

If you were on Tumblr in 2009-2012, you are probably aware of Torchwood. A spin off of Russell T. Davies’ 2005 reboot of Doctor Who, Torchwood stars immortal time traveler Jack Harkness (John Barrowman) as part of a cast of misfits assigned to investigate the assorted supernatural and alien debris that falls through a spacetime rift running through the heart of Cardiff. Jack Harkness, in the tradition of swashbuckling space bisexuals, is great to watch, and his slow burn romance with buttoned-up researcher Ianto is the highlight of the series. Or at least it was to me, watching it as a deeply closeted teen in 2011.

Towards the end of the third series of Torchwood, Ianto is exposed to an alien virus and dies very fetchingly in Jack’s arms. It’s extremely Mimi from La Boheme (not, for once in an essay about queer people, Rent.) Ianto knows Jack is immortal and at no risk from the virus (Jack has already survived being blown up and sealed in concrete just in the previous three episodes); he knows that Jack will have to live the rest of his very, very, very long life watching people he loves die. He asks Jack not to forget him, and Jack promises that he won’t. Ianto’s last words are to deny that Jack is capable of remembering him a thousand years into the future; Jack kisses him, succumbs to the virus, and approximately four minutes of show time later, revives.

Reader, I watched this at approximately 1 AM on my beast of a high school laptop, huddled under the covers and trying not to wake my sister by sobbing too loud. I slammed the laptop shut to have a good cry. Then I opened up the laptop and watched the scene again. It became sort of a talisman for me— any time I needed to cry and couldn’t manage it, out would come my Megavideo rip of Torchwood-ChildrenOfEarth-xVideo-x64-S03E04-HD.mkv, scrolled to 53:14. Three minute death scene, me sobbing like a baby, reliable as clockwork.

I loved it for its utility; I needed those three minutes to unlock grief I couldn’t access in other ways. I loved it despite there being two arguably sadder death scenes at the end of the second series (RIP Owen and Tosh, you deserved better.) And I loved it despite its being perhaps the most textbook example of bury your gays imaginable.

Like a lot of media analysis tools that gained widespread popularity in an era with TVTropes, “bury your gays” is a cudgel and not a scalpel. Of course no one wants to be straight people’s tragedy porn. Of course it’s grating to only ever see yourself onscreen as a cautionary tale. Of course the real life origins of the trope are rooted in homophobic moral panics and censorship. And of course many queer people are plenty tired of tragedy. We die more often than straight people, and sooner, for a variety of reasons; we live lives more affected by the mundane grinding sadnesses of poverty and illness and rejection. Is it then problematic to portray queer grief, real or fictional? What about homophobia? Is it actually inherently more revolutionary to write fantasy stories where everyone’s chill with the gays, but somehow also they still have hereditary monarchies? I don’t actually have the answers here, by the way. Like everyone’s least favorite Republican uncle I’m just asking questions.

The real problem I have with “bury your gays” is that I love to bury my gays. I don’t recommend “but I like it” as a lens of critical analysis, fan studies notwithstanding, but you show me a potential tragedy and I am pulling out the shovel. I love to watch Ianto choke to death in his lover’s arms, and I love to listen to several hundred hours of podcast about gay divorce, and I cherish everything that Interview with the Vampire AMC has going on, and I read and reread Nell driving her car into the tree, and I think stabbing is maybe the pinnacle of romance.

Why do I love a queer tragedy so? Why do I gravitate to fic that features death and despair and ideological divorce? Why, as a child, was I always putting my plastic animals through travails that wouldn’t be out of place in a particularly melodramatic episode of Game of Thrones?

The easy answer would be that I was raised Catholic and haven’t quite escaped the ideological shadow of the redemptive power of suffering, but I have too much experience with chronic pain to still think suffering is redemptive. The other obvious answer would be that I’m chasing catharsis in the classic Aristotelian sense of emotional release, but I don’t think that’s the entirety of it either. There is sometimes a sort of talismanic nature to watching, or reading about, or writing a gay tragedy, a warding off of potential harm. It does feel like a little ritual. Aristotle describes catharsis as a release of pity and fear: look at those poor bastards. And as a queer viewer, the scraped underbelly of that emotion, how easily that could be me. Thank god it isn’t.

But neither pity nor fear nor their uneasy third, disgust, are really the emotions I feel when I press repeat on tragedy. To paraphrase Sontag, I “weep in part because [I] have seen it many times. [I] want to weep. Pathos, in the form of a narrative, does not wear out.”* What I feel is grief, and also pleasure. Pleasure in ritual; pleasure in release; pleasure in a borrowed grief that is both real and unreal, because I can set it aside when the episode finally comes to its end; pleasure because after all, the painful and the erotic are never as far apart as we might pretend.

I watched Ianto’s death scene again for this essay, half-expecting that it wouldn’t really work the same. I tried rewatching Torchwood a few years ago and couldn’t make it past a few episodes. I’m not 17 anymore, and everything from the special effects to the treatment of its female characters has aged not unlike milk. I’ve found new tragedies to visit and revisit. But I did cry, watching Jack try and fail to keep his lover by his side. And it felt good.

*Regarding the Pain of Others, 83. Despite the title and the way it’s used in conversations about media (including by me, here) this is actually an essay on war photojournalism. Worth a read but not for the reasons you might think.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Prynhawn da Elanor,

I'm a student in the US currently applying to universities for next year, and I have a couple of questions about Welsh universities if you have the time. I'm looking at both schools in the US and one in Wales (I managed to visit over the summer and it seemed great, loved the town and the university, and the degree that I'm interested in is very solid there), and the teaching style/expectations of students are an unknown factor. I've been taking college classes while still in highschool so I'm familiar with college-level instruction in the states, and it's not ideal for what I'm interested in studying. For example, at one of the schools I visited that is supposed to be a decent research university, the faculty were surprised that I had questions about research as an undergrad, and according to current students, the hardest part of their studies were quizzes on botanical taxonomy. So, I'm curious, what are the general academic expectations for students (especially in ecology or wildlife biology-related courses)? It seems like assessments are more practical or long-form and less quiz/multiple choice.

This got long-winded, so my apologies, and thank you for your time!

Shwmae! Happy to answer.

SO, I shall caveat this with saying that I don't really understand how higher education works in the US; it's a very different system to the UK in many ways. I'm therefore not entirely sure how to explain the exact differences. So, I'll just tell you about how it works over here rather than trying to do a comparison, if that makes sense? It means some of this will definitely feel like Water Is Wet stuff, but hopefully there'll be an exact answer in there that you can extract. Also, if you're comfortable doing so (and want to), I'm happy to talk over DM if you want slightly more specific advice involving you revealing details that otherwise might doxx you.

(Also second point, because I have danced this dance before and I know what Some Of You Lot are like when my posts start gaining traction beyond my circle of followers: in places where I do explain something that's different between the two systems, I am not saying one is better or worse than the other. Don't be a cunt about this. Work on your defensiveness and ego in your own time. I'm too busy and important for your feelings.)

Third point: I'm snipping this for length. On with the answer!

So, degrees over here are fairly fixed in terms of content and duration. Some offer a specific, set array of modules that make up the degree; others have essential core modules, and then you can choose from a small number of options until you get the required credits. But part of choosing the course for you over here is looking at the modules that make up the degree to make sure you're getting the exact focus you want; the one I teach on, for example, has a focus on practically applying environmental science, with the result that it has a very high post-graduation employment rate across a variety of environmental disciplines. Others might focus more on human geography, or environmental engineering, or climate science, or whatever else.

The reason for this is the quality assurance system in the UK. Courses have to be validated as being the right quality in terms of content, level of study, assessment practices, etc. Let's say you get a BSc from UWTSD in Environment, Sustainability and Climate Change; that comes with a quality assurance for a future employer that you have learned a specific set of skills, a specific knowledge bank, and are capable of using both in a specific way. There shouldn't be a risk, for example, that they hired someone from the same course the year before who had the same qualification as you, but turned out to not understand the dynamic processes behind sand dunes and couldn't write an official report to save their life, meaning you get passed over for the job the following year because they can't trust that your education actually means anything; if both of you have the same qualification, then the course should be meeting sufficient quality standards to ensure that you both therefore have the same knowledge and skillset.

So that's point one!

Where this works in your favour is point two: assessment. Assessment is also rigidly quality-checked, but it means you can ask a course director and immediately get an outline of what the assessment procedures are (not the precise assessment tasks, obviously; but, report vs exam vs lab practical etc will be known).

But also, yes, assessment in the UK is extremely rarely what I understand to be 'quizzes' in the US, and extremely rarely multiple choice. Rightly or wrongly, there is a definite perception in academic circles over here - even at high school level, much less university - that a multiple choice quiz is too easy to pass by guessing, and they're very looked down on as a method to assess learning.

What you'll have instead varies between modules and courses, but I can give you an idea with a couple of mine:

Level 4: Biodiversity and Ecosystem Services

No exams: two reports based on practical field/lab work, both worth 50% of the final mark

First: dissect owl pellets in the lab from two sites. Evaluate what the findings mean for the biodiversity on each site, and suggest some future site management prescriptions. 2000 words.

Second: fieldtrip to nearby woods to take allometric tree measurements and calculate carbon sequestration. Evaluate the ecosystem service provided by the woodland, and comment on site management and conservation. 2000 words.

Level 5: Coastal, Marine and Wildlife Conservation

One assignment, one exam, each worth 50% of the final mark

Assignment: Ramsey Island has far less biodiversity than neighbours like Skomer, Grassholm, etc. Research why, what was done to fix it, how well it's recovered, and suggest what should be done in the future to aid further recovery. 2500 words.

Exam: First half is a selection of short form questions to test baseline knowledge. Second half is a 50 mark essay question; choice of two topics to answer.

Level 6: Habitat Management and Building Resilience

No exams: two assignments, one before Christmas worth 30% of the mark, one in May worth 70%

First: choose a species reintroduction project of your choice, and find the habitat feasibility study carried out for it. Critique that habitat feasibility study. Put your findings into an academic poster and present it. 15 mins.

Second: using teachings from across the year, produce a habitat management plan for a site of your choosing. You need to actually visit and assess your site. 3500 words.

(L4, 5 and 6: first, second and final year of undergrad)

The idea in each case is not just to test knowledge; it's to test applied knowledge, and to teach real-world skills needed in the industry after you graduate. If you go into land management, for example, the ability to guess the right answers based on the multiple choice pattern is useless; the ability to assess a site and write up a management plan for it, on the other hand, is literally the job you're hired to do.

So, as far as research is concerned... if you mean carrying out your own research on a topic of your own choosing, the main place that happens is your dissertation in third year. But, you can start that earlier if you want. In our department, we also encourage and support any independent research a student may choose to do, even if they don't end up using it for their degree directly.

If you mean general research skills, though, those are vital to every assignment. If you only repeat back whatever papers or knowledge the lecturers have given you, and don't research independently, you will barely scrape a pass. We actively push you to learn those skills.

And then lastly, expectations for students! In higer ed, you are now an adult, and you are choosing to be here: this means that the expectation is that you're meeting the lecturers halfway, as it were. It's a mistake a lot of new students make, if they've come straight from high school - uni is just The Next Thing to do, but to them it's basically like school, so the teachers have to keep trying to teach them even if the student barely shows up or makes any effort.

But that is not so! They are no longer pupils, and I am not a teacher.

If I say to a class "Look up these papers and be familiar with the arguments before next session because we're going to have a seminar", and then someone doesn't bother because "Whoops I went out drinking and forgot to do my homework teehee", then they can get out. They are adults paying for a particular service. I have offered that service. If they think of it as homework and choose not to do it because they wanted to go out clubbing instead, then... okay. That's the choice they can make. But the consequence is, I'm not chasing after them, because I'm not a teacher, and that's not my job. Now they aren't having that session. This will have a knock-on effect for their understanding of the topic; but that's the choice they made.

(Again, before the Pissing On The Poor crowd arises: I am, very obviously, not talking about students who have other struggles that impact their academic performance. I am, very literally and clearly, talking about the 18-year-old school leavers who are still in the school mindset, and think of missing lectures as 'skiving', and on a lizard brain level think there won't be consequences to that because so far in their life, education systems have not been allowed to fail them for that behaviour.)

So, basically... you're expected to want to learn and improve, and to put the work in to do that. Not to just be there to get the degree, but to be there to learn. Adult education is collaborative between lecturer and student. We guide you, but it's your journey to take.

Anyway! I hope that is at all useful. Let me know if you want clarification on anything, or have any other questions!

[starsthatlinethesky]

Headcanons For Windbreaker!!! (Mainly Nirei)

Suo and Nirei have crushes on each other, but Nirei falls first, and Suo falls harder. Nirei clocked his feelings pretty early on (Sometime after the Keel arc), whereas Suo gradually fell for Nerei.

Nirei becomes the unofficial Doctor of the class and has a talent for stitching up wounds and treating injuries, this also leads to Nerei wanting to pursue medical studies

Adding to the above, Nirei plans to go to Tokyo in the future to study medicine but has doubts about leaving the small town that he grew up in

Bofurin does have actual classes and exams, but they're run through an online program, some of the stuff is optional but the third years really push the second and first years to finish some of the work so that they can have some academic record

Nerei can sing! I’m talking he’s hitting those high notes that were in secret love song by little mix!

Suo is great at making tea but basic cooking is beyond him, Sakura shouldn’t be within ten feet of a kitchen unsupervised. So Nirei ends up making a lot of food for them.

Suo really struggles with falling for Nirei but Sakura also struggles because he’s trying to drag these twos heads out of the clouds so that they can see what’s in front of them

The entirety of class 1-1 has ended up calling Tsubakino ‘Mum’ and Umemiya ‘Dad’ at some point

Tsubakino is a Twice fan!

Umemiya goes out of his way to figure out what everyone’s home life is like at Bofurin and ensures that people that need more support get it in all the ways that they need

Suo doesn’t confess to Nirei because he’s afraid that he’ll ruin the friendship that they have and that by being in a relationship he may hold Nirei back from doing things he wants to do like going to Tokyo to study

Nirei doesn’t confess because he doesn’t think that Suo would be interested in him and that if they were to get into a relationship that Suo would come to resent him in some way

Sakura enjoys stupid phone games like candy crush and stuff

Anzai has a crush on Nagato but Nagato thought he was in love with Tsuchiya

Class 1-1 will argue with one another like siblings but my god if anyone outside of the group try’s to start something it’s all out war

Sugishita will act like he does not care at all but at the first sign of danger he will throw himself in front of the others

Nirei’s favourite movie is La La Land

Nirei also loves kpop! But he listens to a variety (Ateez, G-IDLE, NCT, Red Velvet, Xdinary Heroes)

Sakura is actually great at classes like literature studies because of his ability to emphasise and comprehend

Anyone who wants to date someone from Furin has to get Kaji’s approval because that man can clock trouble from ten miles away and knows if people will be a good match or not

But also if people in class 1-1 want to date they need to go to Sakura and see if his love metre goes off

Endo loves to cause trouble between people, and after all the fighting between them stops cause of a truce he decides to wind up the Bofurin years. He mainly does this by messing with Sakura but he loses interest when Sakura stops reacting to his teasing.

Togame and Choji get married after they go travelling around the world