#the other day i found a song that i immediately became obsessed with from like a random band in new jersey that has 2 thousand monthly

[gasp-hehe]

Hamilton x JJK

This is 1000% brought on by me consuming those edits again, but Burr and Alexander are Satoru and Suguru if Suguru didn't defect. Hear me out, Hamilton didn't know how Burr felt. The inferiority, the jealousy, he to an extent always considered him a better half. In the musical we witness how excellent he was, leagues above everyone else, not cut from the same cloth, yet we have the musical because people never acknowledged him compared to some other founding fathers. Akin to how Gojo didn't even get a funeral, he altered the balance of the world when he was born just to die the same as you and I. Burr truly never held any ill will towards Hamilton in the beginning, their paths aligned, they became acquainted, but he did not excel. If it's sad that a founding father's legacy is a musical, is it not sadder for Burr to be remembered as the man who isn't Hamilton? If Geto had not defected but still harboured the same feelings and went through the same trauma, yet saw Gojo overcome and "win", then what's the difference? I think when you take songs such as 'Wait For It' or 'Non-Stop' this is better shown. The obsession Hamilton had with writing the same as to how Gojo exceedingly became so far above everyone he wasn't human, he is literally untouchable. He fought, took mission after mission, works 21hrs a day, he could theoretically handle it all alone. How Burr wasn't willing to back up the constitution, how Suguru didn't defect immediately, a year passed. The hatred brimming and boiling, him hoping it'd subside just for the wait to result in a different outcome. How the only time Burr did not hesitate was for that final shot, contrastingly enough, the only time Hamilton did. Satoru has always hesitated in taking Suguru's life, yet Suguru was truly happy when he was away from Jujutsu society. Honestly, JJK is ripe with symbolism, excellent re-read material in the sense that everything comes together so beautifully with certain characters. Gojo's ability being unbeatable, being his only weakness, how him messing with the fabric of reality impacted his life and the consequence of being untouchable. How regardless of the strength he has never got what mattered, just like his domain. Toji deciding to risk his life by fighting Gojo a second time just to prove to the people he hated that he was good enough, yet if he had won that fight there'd be no difference between him and the Zen'in clan. He died for the same people who wished he was dead anyway. And if Geto Suguru didn't wind up hating non-sorcerers he'd end up hating Jujutsu, believing the world would be better with 0 cursed energy. To dismantle Jujutsu can be done in multiple ways, but perhaps the most effective would be to take down the pinnacle, i.e Satoru Gojo. I will one day draft an entire character study and analysis on Satoru (because clearly I cannot shut up and I have too many thoughts), but when SatoSugu were like Lafayette and Hamilton just to technically wind up in the same fate, is post hidden inventory Geto the real Geto or did he die in that fight against Toji? If he didn't, was hidden inventory Geto the fake one and the racist the real one? This is also interesting because say Geto tried helping, pushing it down, not going insane. Would he be Jefferson? Would Satoru be Jefferson? Would Geto/Jefferson view Satoru as Washington?

You could say the trio ended up becoming like John Jay, James Madison, and Hamilton. What with Shoko never being recognized, John Jay recovered after writing four to write the fifth. James Madison writing more than their agreed upon original limit simply by himself but never given value, like Suguru being a special grade that came from no resources. Him having virtually no weakness. And of course, Hamilton going insane and losing everything in the pursuit of his 'dream', I wonder if anyone has ever randomly hugged Satoru and told him they love him. He never had an Eliza after all, fuck did he even have an Angelica? A Maria Reynolds? Yet Suguru had Theodosia. This is such a niche but goddamn do I love to yap.

[rollercoasterwords]

I need to ask cause I kinda want to publish some poetry of mine. How do you self-publish something? Also how do you know when something is good enough to publish?

ummmm i am not the right person to ask lol i have never self-published. the only poetry i've published at all has been in very small indie lit mags & the way i've done that is basically when i find a poet or poem i like i see where they publish & if the publications are accepting submissions etc. there are tons of indie lit mags out there u could also look out for like flyers on college campuses or in coffee shops or bookstores etc sometimes local lit mags or zines or other various publications will advertise that they're open for submission the old-fashioned way. or if u find one lit mag u like go find their insta or social media & see who they follow -- sometimes u can find other similar publications that way.

& there's no such thing as "good enough to publish" tons of dogshit writing gets published every year. free urself from the idea that publication is a metric by which literary value is measured...read essays against publishing by jamie berrout...if you've written a poem that u like & u wanna try to publish it just go for it. & if u decide that u don't wanna publish it u can still just post it on the internet & share it that way. some of my favorite writing i've ever encountered is stuff people just posted on the internet that was never officially published. even if one single person reads it and loves it & copies it down in their journal or memorizes a line or thinks of it from time to time that's what art's all about....

[roturo]

`· . ౨ৎ OTAKU HOT GIRL !

౨ৎ summary: “I like a tall woman with a nice big ass, haha.” Shocked faces turned to the pink-haired boy, not expecting such blunt honesty. “Just sayin’.”

Out of sheer curiosity, Todo leaned in, a mischievous grin on his face. “Got an example?”

WARNINGS: smut, male masturbation, lewd language and thoughts, overstimulation, sub-ish!yuji itadori, semi-public, use of pet names (puppy & ma'am) aged-up characters, whimpering, obsessed!yuji itadori, reader is mentioned like a person with big ass and tall, and lmk if i missed smth!

౨ৎ a/n: guess who's back baby! i listened to megan's new song and couldn't resist writing for my golden boy after hearing his voice omfg... 🫠i'm still a lil rusty and this might be short (1.4k words) but owmawgawd, this got meee

“I like a tall woman with a nice big ass, haha.” Shocked faces turned to the pink-haired boy, not expecting such blunt honesty. “Just sayin’.”

Out of sheer curiosity, Todo leaned in, a mischievous grin on his face. “Got an example?” The room filled with mixed reactions, some intrigued and others apprehensive. They were already tired of his daily talk about Jennifer Lawrence. Who could he possibly like more than her?

The boy smirked, leaning back casually. “Like the new grade one sorcerer from Kyoto, [Y/N] [L/N]...”

A collective gasp echoed through the room. Everyone knew about you, the formidable new sorcerer who had quickly risen through the ranks. But hearing that someone admired you in that way was a revelation.

He flashed back to the first time he met you. The memory was vivid. It was during a joint training session between the Tokyo and Kyoto schools. You had walked in with an air of confidence that immediately caught his attention. Tall, strong, and undeniably sexy, you had an aura that made it impossible for him to look away.

From the moment you started sparring, he was entranced. Every move you made was precise, powerful, and graceful. He could barely focus on his own training, his eyes constantly drifting towards you. When you finally spoke to him, your voice was low and sultry, asking for a sparring match. He was so flustered that all he could manage was a shaky “yes ma’am,” despite you being the same age.

The sparring match was intense, the air thick with tension. He gave it his all, but you were relentless. Each of your strikes was met with awe and admiration. By the end, he was exhausted and utterly defeated, but he didn’t mind. He was too impressed by your skill and the way your body moved.

After that day, you became a frequent topic of his thoughts. He admired not just your beauty, but your fierce dedication and prowess as a sorcerer. Every time he saw you, he couldn’t help but be reminded of how captivated he was by you. His fantasies about you became more vivid, more intense, fueled by the memory of your close combat and the way your body pressed against his.

“So yeah,” he continued, snapping back to the present. “That’s my type.”

The room fell silent, the other boys processing his words. Some were still shocked, others nodded in understanding like Panda and Todo. It was clear that his admiration for you went beyond mere physical attraction. It was rooted in genuine respect and a desire that bordered on obsession.

You and he had been talking for a few months now, and his clear attraction to you only grew stronger with each passing day. Your casual conversations and shared laughter were becoming the highlight of his days. Sometimes, during joint training sessions between the two schools, he found it increasingly difficult to focus. His eyes would wander towards you, watching the way your body moved with precision and strength. The mere sight of you was enough to send a surge of desire through him, making it impossible to concentrate. On more than one occasion, he had to leave the training area, his cheeks flushed and a raging erection straining against his pants. The frustration was palpable, but he couldn’t help it. You had a hold on him that was both thrilling and torturous.

He had to leave training again just to find some privacy in the restroom, where he urgently pleasured himself through his pants, softly moaning your name. The need had become insatiable, every thought consumed by the image of you—your intoxicating smile, the curve of your hips, and the way your hair cascaded over your shoulders.

In the quiet sanctuary of the restroom, he leaned against the cool tiles, his breath hitching with each stroke. With trembling hands, he hastily undid his pants, revealing his throbbing cock already slick with anticipation. His mind replayed every encounter with you, from the shared glances to the moments when your eyes held a tantalizing promise.

Despite the overwhelming sensation after coming once, he couldn't resist the need to relieve himself. His hand moved almost mechanically over his throbbing cock, slick with his own essence. The thought of your touch, your fingers wrapped around him instead of his own, consumed him. He imagined how much better it would feel, how your soft, skilled hands would bring him to the brink and beyond.

As his hand wrapped around his pulsating shaft, he couldn't suppress a low groan. The touch was electric, sending waves of pleasure through him. Starting slow, he savored every sensation, but the ache only intensified. Each stroke brought him closer to the edge, his fantasies blending seamlessly with reality in a haze of desire.

Soft, needy moans escaped his lips, mingling with the sound of his rapid breaths. He imagined your touch—delicate yet commanding, expertly teasing him to the brink. His cock twitched at the thought, pre-cum slickening his fingers as he quickened his pace.

Lost in the moment, he couldn't help but fantasize about how your lips would feel against his skin, your hands exploring every inch of him with a hunger that matched his own. The idea of you taking control, guiding him with a firm touch, made him shudder with anticipation.

His movements grew more urgent, chasing that elusive release. He could almost feel you there with him, your presence palpable in the confined space. With a guttural moan, he finally spilled over the edge, his release pulsing through him in powerful waves. He rode the wave of pleasure, his body trembling as he emptied himself, gasping for breath.

But even as he came for second time, his body continued to react, hypersensitive to every touch. He overstimulated himself, prolonging the pleasure and pushing himself to the brink of overwhelming sensation. Despite the intensity, he couldn't stop, his hand moving almost mechanically, seeking that final, blissful release.

As he leaned against the cool tiles, spent and still trembling, he couldn't shake the lingering desire for more. The fantasy of you lingered in his mind, fueling a hunger that would not easily be sated. He knew that the next time he saw you, every glance, every word exchanged would hold a newfound intensity, a longing that burned deeper than ever before.

Curiosity got the best of you as you entered the restroom in search of Yuuji, wondering why he had abruptly left practice. It had been unlike him to disappear without a word, and you couldn’t shake the concern that something might be wrong. Pushing open the door, you were met with the unexpected sight of him sprawled on the cool, tiled floor. His pants were pooled around his ankles, and his toned abs and hands were slick and glistening with his own release. Despite the aftermath, his cock stood proudly erect, a conflicted expression etched on Yuuji's face as he stared at it, small whimpers escaping his lips in his desperate quest for release once more.

The air in the restroom was heavy with the musky scent of arousal, adding to the charged atmosphere. Yuuji’s eyes, normally vibrant with energy and mischief, now held a mix of embarrassment and raw need. He looked up at you, his gaze pleading silently for understanding and perhaps even assistance.

You stood frozen for a moment, unsure of what to do or say. His vulnerability in this moment was palpable, and you found yourself drawn to him despite the unexpectedness of the situation. Slowly, you approached him, the click of your shoes against the tile echoing softly in the silence. As you knelt beside him, you could feel the heat radiating from his body, his skin flushed with desire and frustration.

He whispered your name, thinking all of this was a dream– Tentatively, your hand trailed down his chest, fingers ghosting over the slick, sensitive skin. His breath hitched at your touch, a mix of anticipation and relief flooding his features. "Please," he begged, his voice strained with desire. "Poor puppy– leaving training just because hormones got the best of him." He whimpered at the pet name you used, your hand now gently caressing his balls, catching him off guard and eliciting a loud moan that made you quickly cover his mouth with your hand.

"Shh, puppy," you whispered, your tone teasing yet commanding. "We wouldn't want others to hear what a needy slut you are, would we?" His eyes widened, his breath coming in shallow gasps as he shook his head frantically.

"Good boy," you cooed, your touch firm yet reassuring, knowing exactly how to play him.

pt2?

[55sturn]

✮ OH, BABYDOLL.

pairing: matt sturniolo x fem!reader

synopsis: in which a night of drunken celebration between matt and his best friend turns into something more, something they both yearned for.

warnings: swearing, alcoholic consumption, making out, use of y/n, slightly suggestive (?) touching, pet name [doll], drunk confessions.

THIRD PERSON POV

everyone has someone in their life that they’ll never really get over, whether it be an ex friend, or an ex lover, there’s always going to be lingering feelings for that person. for matt, it was his best friend.

at first he figured that he was only attracted to her physically and sexually because he was pent up. so the day he noticed that he kept checking her out, he sent a text to an ex hookup and got the job done. but the next day, he was backing to wanting her in such an animalistic and carnal way that it was hard to be around without all the blood rushing from his head to somewhere else.

but the longer his attraction went on, the more confused he ended up. he searched for her in every room, after every joke he told in hopes that he’d find her laughing. he began immediately seeking her the moment he’d step into the house after a rough day.

he realized it became something more when he found himself driving to her apartment complex without prior announcement the moment he received good news about his yesterday’s problem project.

he realized it became something more when he crafted journals for his own personal brand based off the journal she carried with her everywhere.

and he realized that he’s never really wanted anyone the way he’s wanted her, and once that was revealed to him, he tried to move on. he dated girls far and few in between, and none of them never really ignited the flame that lay dormant in the pit of his stomach the way y/n did. other girls never stirred up the butterflies that lay peaceful in his chest every time he was away from her.

he realized that he was fucked. he loved you and there no changing that.

so when he began noticing that she seemed so different after starting her new assistant job, he begged her to quit. it changed her into a dull shell of the lively, bright, and happy person she was. he really believed that it had caused her to lose that sparkle in her personality that made her everything he loved, and honestly he loved her regardless, he just missed her bubbly personality. he had noticed that even her eyes seemed dull.

when you called him later in the day, muttering something along the lines of “i didn’t think the day would come but it did and i don’t have to get up at nearly five in the morning tomorrow!” he couldn’t fully make out the words because of how jumbled you become whenever you’re excited.

“doll, you’re getting all jumbled again, can you repeat that?” he hummed, the pet name you knew all too well that still managed to have the tips of your ears turning pink and hot slipping from his lips, sounding sickeningly sweet. he started calling you doll not too long after you guys met, every time he picked you up when he asked to hangout, you’d come out singing babydoll by dominic fike because it was a song you were obsessed with, but the real reason behind was the night you guys met at some party, you were wearing a cropped raglan style baby tee that read babydoll in the iconic bratz font. the sleeves and collar were bright pink, and the text matched.

he felt that calling you “babydoll” made him sound a bit too much like a boyfriend, so from then on, he coined that nickname “doll”, and it stirred up a sweet and delicate feeling in your chest but it also caused your head to fall fuzzy to the utmost dangerous thoughts about your best friend.

but honestly, you were entranced with the sentimental feeling that bloomed in your chest every time he spoke the nickname.

“i said,” you start, dragging out the “a” as you turn on to his street, “that the day where i quit my job has finally come! so i’m outside because we’re gonna go to some bar or club and celebrate. that’s why i told you to get ready earlier and order an uber.”

“holy shit i cant believe you actually did it!”

“same now get the fuck out here!” you giggled, ending the call and climbing out of your car, waiting against the driver’s door as matt stepped outside, making quick strides over to you, and pulling you into a hug as the uber he ordered came into view.

the two of you sat in a comfortable silence, not wanting to talk about too much with a stranger in the car, knowing very well it could fall on the wrong ears when another passenger climbs into that very seat.

you were beginning to question whether or not getting drunk with matt was a good idea, you had been harbouring so many things directed toward him for the last little while, and you were about to combust. you knew that if you had even the tiniest bit of liquid courage in you, your deepest secrets would come tumbling out like word vomit.

as if matt could sense your worry, he placed a hand on your thigh, squeezing the soft flesh as if to say “you’re okay.” and in all honesty, you were both convinced you each had a sixth sense when it came to one another, you could easily read matt and figure out what he was feeling or thinking after a split second of looking at him, and vice versa. your internal spiral was cut short as yours and matt’s favourite club came into view.

you both quickly thanked your uber, giving him a perfect rating before making your way into the club.

“what are we drinking first, doll?” matt hums, however his words fell on vacant ears, you couldn’t stop yourself from zoning out on the way he looked tonight, his shoulders look broad and defined beneath the dark muscle tee he wore, and the pants he paired his shirt with were your favourite pair of anything he owned. they were his black carhartt carpenter pants, paired with his notorious key ring attached to the belt loop, and his white airforces. matt noticed the way you were watching him, and he couldn’t help but feel a surge of confidence flow through his veins.

“huh?” you sputter, finally meeting his eyes with your face turning a deep pink, but you were glad the strobe lights in the club were red.

“what are we drinking first?”

“i need a shot of tequila and a vodka redbull.”

“make that two shots, a vodka redbull for her, and i’ll just have a jack and coke.” matt calls to the bartender, having to raise his voice over the loud music and chatter surrounding the bar. once again, as you wait for your drinks, you finding yourself falling into deep concentration, unable to tear your eyes from matt as he leans against the bar. matt turns to hand you your shot, only to find you roughly feeding half of your bottom lip between your teeth, your stare vacant but determined.

“doll, you’re gonna split your lip, stop doing that.” he murmurs, loud enough for only you to hear as he presses his thumb against your lip, pulling it from your teeth, slowly becoming hypnotized by the way it recoils back into its natural pout.

“sorry, the realization of everything is settling in you know?”

“that’s why we’re gonna take our shots, chug our drinks, order more shots, and then dance.”

“matthew sturniolo? offering to dance before anyone else? did i trip and fall into an alternate universe?”

“shut up.” he laughs, downing his shot after clinking his glass against yours, and once again you’re entranced by him, watching the way his adam’s apple bobs slowly as he swallows, finding it incredibly attractive how he hardly makes a face after the shot is gone. before he can meet your stare, you down your shot, followed by your drink, getting rid of both quite quickly, and ordering two more shots for you and matt.

about an hour passes, and you’re both quite tipsy as you dance and scream along to the music, laughing at the moves you both pull out, not caring if anyone sees or judges. but you’re about to tap matt on the shoulder to tell him you’re going to order another, when babydoll comes on. you’re shocked to say the least, it’s not really a clubbing song but you’re thanking whatever being above compelled the dj to play it. matt watches you dance along to your favourite song with a dazed grin, his eyes beginning to become hooded as the alcohol takes over his body.

as you’re singing along, you make eye contact with him and it feels as id the entire world stops, like time was standing still as you slowly gravitate toward him. you’re watching him with through rose coloured glasses as his hands fall to your hips, pulling you flush against him with your hands on his shoulders, and rocking your bodies back and forth. the heat emanating from his palms against your hips and lower back makes your head spin in the best way as you lean in close, your lips ghosting over his as you mumble the words,

“oh babydoll, i cant move on.”

the words almost act as if they’re an unspoken confession, because matt’s nodding along to your words, understanding the underlying meaning behind them. and matt humming the next line, his lips pressing just the slightest bit more against yours, and you’re understanding everything he’s implying.

what started out as an innocent celebration between you two, has now become a flustered mess, your lips are so close, and yet neither of you are ready to cross that line as the next song begins playing, and it’s a raunchy and filthy song, making the moment all the more erotic.

“i need to kiss you, matt.” you whisper against his lips, the torture of having them so close yet so far was causing your head to spin, and you couldn’t wait anymore. and as if to tease you more, matt’s tongue darts between his lips, wetting them, the tip of it brushing ever so slightly against yours. and he couldn’t help smirk as your eyes flutter shut at the smallest amount of contact. and all your self will goes out the window as you hook your fingers around his silver chain, tugging his lips completely against yours, your mouths moving in sync as you reach the moment you’ve been craving since you met matt.

the kiss is sloppy, warm, and extremely hot. it was a mess of clashing teeth, spit swapping, and tangled tongues. matt’s the first to pull away, tugging your bottom lip between his teeth ever so gently, loving the way it bounces back. he loves everything about your lips, the fullness, the shape, and god their shade of pink drives him crazy.

“you don’t know how long i’ve wanted that, doll.” his whispers, his voice think with want and fulfillment as he stares down at you, his left hand moving from your hip to your jaw, his thumb resting against your lip as you smile at him.

“i think i have an idea because i’ve wanted it just as long, matty.”

the two of you don’t break too far apart for the rest of the night, allowing yourselves to sit comfortably in the purgatory of staying the same or indulging in something more that you’ve turned your friendship into. you’re sure to regret letting yourself give so easily into wrecking your friendship with him in the morning, but right now, you couldn’t be bothered, especially not after finally kissing him because right now, all you want to do is keep kissing him. the way his lips fit against yours has almost become addictive, loving the way his lips taste slightly like your lip glass with remnants of coke and rum.

you weren’t sure how you were going to navigate the new change, but what did know was that you were going to be utterly fucked when you wake up tomorrow and remember that you made out with matt.

taglist: @dylsdunbar @verosivy @florcult @flynnriderishot @33sturniolo @sugrhigh @rootbeerworshiper @soursturniolo @spencerstits @meanttomeet @bluesturniolo333 @graciereid @abbie13sworld @ghostofbrock @l9vesick @mylifeisevenstranger @bethsturn @ifilwtmfc @themattgirl @lovingmattysposts @lacysturniolo @freshloveee @fawnchives @cindylcuwho @freshloveforthefit @freshsturns @forevergirlposts @sturniolo-fav-matt @cupidsword @lustfulslxt @sturnifyed @teapartyprincess4two @mangosrar @querenciasturniolo @pinklittleflower @ellie-luvsfics @strniolo @junnniiieee07 @hearts4chris @evie-sturns @nicksmainbitch @gnxosblog @sturniolopepsi @wronqness99 @sturniolossss @hesvoid3434 @mattsfavwh3re @inlovewithmattstur @melanch0lybby

© 55STURN 2024 ! REBLOGS NOT EXPECTED BUT GREATLY APPRECIATED ! [ you do not have permission to copy or save or share my work to other platforms and devices! ]

[harryssyndrome]

Manic (pt.2) | h.s

ᯓ ✈︎ part one || Masterlist

Sorry it’s short but i was busy being lazy lol and well I’m planning something bigger so bare with me.

Posted on: November 19th, 2024

YN’s days began to blur into one another, each moment consumed by her obsession with Harry. Every notification, every message from him felt like another piece of a dream she never wanted to wake up from. Her friends commented on how lucky she was, how surreal her life had become, but none of them truly understood. They didn’t know how much this connection meant to her.

It was no longer about being a fan. This was personal.

Harry’s messages grew more frequent, more intense. His compliments became laced with something deeper, something that felt like longing. YN found herself replaying every word in her mind, dissecting the meaning, trying to understand him. She didn’t dare question why he had noticed her out of all the fans in the world. It didn’t matter. He had chosen her, and that was enough.

But even in her bliss, there was a shadow.

Harry sat in the dim light of his living room, his phone in hand, the screen glowing faintly in the dark. He scrolled through YN’s social media again, his eyes scanning every photo, every caption, every detail. He had memorized her routines, her likes, her quirks. He knew what she ordered at her favorite café, the books she loved to read, the way she smiled when she thought no one was watching.

But Harry was watching.

Every word he sent her was carefully crafted, calculated to pull her deeper into his world. He knew exactly how to compliment her, how to make her feel seen. He played the part of the dream, the fantasy she had built in her mind. But beneath the surface, his thoughts were anything but kind.

She was his now.

It wasn’t enough to be admired. He needed more. He needed control.

He leaned back, a sinister smile playing on his lips as he typed his next message.

YN’s phone buzzed, pulling her attention from the book she was pretending to read. Her heart leapt when she saw his name.

“I can’t stop thinking about your voice. Sing for me again, YN.”

She blinked, her fingers tightening around the phone. He wanted her to sing. For him.

Her hands trembled as she opened her camera app, her heart pounding in her chest. She set up her phone, angling it just right before taking a deep breath. She picked one of his songs, one she knew by heart, and began to sing.

Her voice was shaky at first, but as the melody carried her, she poured everything she had into the performance. She closed her eyes, imagining him on the other side of the screen, watching her, listening to her.

When she finished, she uploaded the video and sent it to him, her stomach flipping with nerves.

The response came almost immediately.

“Perfect. You’re perfect, YN.”

She let out a shaky laugh, her face flushing with warmth.

But as she stared at his words, that lingering unease crept back in. Something about the way he said it—it was too intense, too certain. She shook her head, dismissing the thought. This was Harry Styles. He wasn’t like anyone else.

Harry watched the video again, his jaw tightening as a dark satisfaction settled over him. She was performing for him now. Every note, every glance, every movement was for him.

He leaned forward, his mind racing. This wasn’t enough. He needed to take the next step.

He knew where she lived. He had already been inside her space, breathed her air, felt her presence. But it wasn’t enough to just watch her.

He wanted to shape her.

That night, YN fell asleep with her phone by her side, Harry’s messages still glowing on the screen. Her dreams were filled with him, his voice, his touch. She imagined what it would be like to meet him, to feel his hands on hers, to hear him whisper her name.

But in the shadows of her room, something stirred.

Harry was back.

The window he had left unlocked during his last visit slid open with ease. He moved silently, his footsteps light as he entered her sanctuary once more.

Her scent hit him immediately, intoxicating and familiar. He stood by her bedside, his eyes trailing over her sleeping form. Her chest rose and fell with each breath, her face peaceful in the dim light.

He reached out, his fingers hovering just above her cheek. He wanted to touch her, to feel her warmth. But he hesitated. Not yet. He couldn’t risk waking her.

Instead, he leaned closer, his lips inches from her ear.

“Soon, YN,” he whispered, his voice barely audible.

He stepped back, his gaze lingering on her for a moment longer before retreating into the night.

When YN woke the next morning, she felt it again—that strange heaviness, the sense that something was wrong. She glanced at her window and frowned. It was slightly ajar.

Her heart skipped a beat as she sat up, staring at it. Had she left it open? She didn’t think so.

Shaking her head, she climbed out of bed and shut it firmly, her hands trembling.

It was just a coincidence, she told herself. Nothing more.

But as she turned back to her room, her eyes caught something on her desk that made her freeze.

It was her perfume bottle, placed neatly in the center of the desk.

She hadn’t used it in weeks.

Her pulse quickened as she stared at it, her mind racing. Had she moved it? Was this another coincidence?

She grabbed her phone, desperate for a distraction. There was a new message from Harry.

“Good morning, beautiful. Did you sleep well?”

Her heart fluttered, the unease fading as quickly as it had come.

“Yes,” she typed back. “I dreamed of you.”

The response came instantly.

“Good. Soon, we won’t need dreams.”

YN smiled, her fingers brushing over the screen.

She didn’t notice the faint indentation on the edge of her bed, the subtle sign that someone had been sitting there. Watching. Waiting.

The game was only the beginning.

[ch6sos]

𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑ teen!nanami headcanons

love my emo king so i decided to make headcanons for him because love himso sosooo MUCH <3 I am obsessed with nanami I am sorry guys for the amount of nanami but he is my beloved and my hyperfixation wooooooooooo

lmk if i should make an emo teen nanami as ur bf headcanon ill gladly do it sweetie pies

He is much quieter as a child and rarely speaks. I believe he will be more reserved as a teenager, not because he is shy, but because he dislikes talking to strangers. He is distant, but not unfriendly.

Haibara is the only person who is allowed in his room, and I do not make the rules. 

Owned an iPod/iPod touch (even though Nanami is the Samsung king) and he would stream his little emo bands.

As a teenager, he appears to be more immature and irrational, displaying difficulty in controlling his emotions sometimes. Despite his calm exterior, he is still a teenage boy so he has regular outbursts here and there.

HATED IT when he tried one of Shoko’s cigarettes; he most likely took one puff and began to cough as though he was going to die.

Sassy king who rolls his eyes and emo hair flips at least 7 times per second, 24/7.

“Nanami, can you do that thing?”

"Do not bother me at this time, Gojo." 

“OH MY GOD YOU DID IT.”

"What did I do."

"The hair flip thing... hahaha you need to cut your bangs."

"I prefer to keep it this way so I can focus on you with one eye and spare the other from seeing more of your face."

Haibara is an extrovert who encourages him to attend events and socialize with others. 

His backpack is tidy. His books are neatly organized, and his papers are not crammed together.

 He was forced to go to karaoke rooms with Shoko, Geto, Gojo, and Haibara, where he would sit and listen to them sing loudly.

"C'mon, Nanami... sing!" 

"..."

“Please?"

"..."

It turns out he was singing all along, albeit softly and quietly, while they sang along loudly to the screen lyrics.

He spaces out a lot when people talk to him because he just wants to go home.

Haibara is subtly affectionate towards him, wrapping his arm around his shoulder like many guys do. He doesn't push him off, but the other guy freezes and maintains some distance.

He once woke up from a nap and found himself wearing eyeliner, black nail polish, and eyeshadow. He immediately ran out to scold Gojo (it wasn't just him) (but he secretly liked it).

"Gojo, what the fuck is this?"

"This is your culture!" 

"Please refrain from touching me while I am sleeping."

“Hey! Who said it was only me?”

“Jesus Christ.”

Probably got a double helix piercing (that eventually healed when he became an adult) (sorry guys).

(Though he still has his earlobe piercings as an adult, he just never really wears earrings anymore. Though you can see the various holes.)

Geto accompanied him to get piercings, and despite feeling nervous at first, he ended up loving the experience and feeling badass.

"It feels good, right?"

"Oh, yeah, I suppose," he mumbled, trying to suppress a broad smile. As he arrived at his dorm, a dorky grin spread across his face. He stood in front of the mirror for several hours, hyping himself up.

Listens to My Chemical Romance, Nirvana, Van Halen, Metallica, Guns N' Roses, AC/DC, Linkin Park, Green Day, Foo Fighters, The Strokes, and Paramore. And more. :)

He would probably like gothic characters from cartoons or shows, like Raven from Teen Titans.

If you quietly make your way into his dorm room while he's listening to music, you'll catch him singing out the lyrics to his beloved emo songs. As the music moves him, he'll start air guitaring and air drumming with fervor. However, if he catches you witnessing his private performance, you'll see a flicker of embarrassment cross his face.

Gojo once tried to dye one of his hair strands purple or blue, but he failed. Instead of turning the strand the desired color, it only lightened his hair slightly, resulting in a lighter shade of blonde that looked like gray hair.

"Gojo, you made me look like a grandfather. I should've done it myself.”

"Looks great on you, Nanami! Fits you too since you kind of act like a grandpa.”

"Oh you, son of a—"

He secretly owns a Tamagotchi named Helena after remembering it is a My Chemical Romance song.

Wept when they split up.

Has secretly attended several concerts, raves, and gatherings, enjoying the kindness and energy of the events.

Has previously used an Ouija board with Gojo, Geto, and Haibara, and the "spirit" liked him.

He goes to the Japanese equivalent of a Hot Topic to get his clothes.

He smells earthy and musky because he is emo, and he probably has a cologne fragrance bottle shaped like a skull.

He rarely posted on MySpace, and when he did, it was only about his music and book reviews.

Likely wore a fake lip piercing, a silver skull necklace, and one of those spikey emo bracelets.

Read Scott Pilgrim comics for a while. 

He was not too dry, so he used emoticons like "-_-" "-.-" "._. ".-." "^_^"

In his spare time, he enjoys reading books about horror and mystery. 

Owned a black Nintendo DS and always handed it to Haibara so he could play with it. Was not upset when Haibara accidentally dropped it in the water, but was sad that he lost his Pokemon progress.

Never had a genuine crush on someone, though when he does he becomes shy and awkward around the person he has a crush on, often finding himself avoiding them like the plague. Whenever he catches sight of them, uncertainty clouds his mind, nerves all over the place.

Despite his efforts to suppress his feelings, they only seem to intensify. This is his first experience with a serious crush, and his initial reaction is to try to shake off the emotions, but he soon realizes that he can't - he's simply head over heels in love.

Whenever he sees them, he does a cute, dorky thing - he goes to his mirror, fixes his bangs, and hypes himself up. He sprayed more cologne than usual, coughed a little, and made sure his skull necklace, helix piercings, and slight eyeshadow looked good. He gives himself several minutes for a pep talk because he still gets so nervous.

He fidgets a lot, constantly finding ways to occupy his hands even when he appears outwardly calm. It's as if he can't help but engage in some form of repetitive movement, whether it's tapping his fingers, twirling a pen, or adjusting his sleeves.

He also stammers a bit sometimes especially when talking to someone he likes.

Talks to Haibara about how he feels most of the time. Out of everyone he trusts Haibara.

He draws on himself when he is bored. He intended to get a tattoo, so he drew on himself to see how it would look.

He has a journal, emphasizing that it's not a diary, where he writes down his emotions. He finds solace in jotting down his innermost feelings as he often struggles to express them verbally.

In his journal, not a diary, he vents a lot. He is frustrated with himself because he is so bad at expressing his emotions. When he wants to, he can't, and he just pushes people away, which he despises.

"Sometimes I wonder why. Why do I have to be like this? I do want to talk to people and express my emotions to them, but I could never. It genuinely scares me, and that is something I want to fix about myself."

Owns several band shirts and wears them to bed. When he is older, they're smaller on him. I wonder why.

When he's out with Haibara and the group, he always wears his headphones and drifts off while listening to music.

“NA-NA-MIIIII!”

*pretends not to hear gojo*

In the modern world, he would be the quiet student who consistently gets top grades, sits at the back of the class, and rarely participates.

When someone shares the same interests as him he tries not to look too excited but ultimately fails.

As a teenager, he adamantly refuses to pursue a romantic relationship but secretly desires one to fulfill his need for affection.

Thus, he spends his time reading romantic novels, gaining insights into how the male protagonists treat their significant others. This newfound knowledge inspires him to learn how to treat his future significant other.

Even though he is mature for his age, he sometimes wishes he had been raised differently. He genuinely feels like he is wasting his youth by not spending more time being a teenager.

Converse + Vans are his specialty and they’re all beat up.

He sees Geto as a fashion inspiration because he is another emo king.

When he's not in uniform, he enjoys wearing oversized, tucked-in T-shirts paired with sleek black pants and a studded belt. His fingers are adorned with multiple rings, and he complements this look with a sleek black watch.

He always spends an extra dollar to buy someone something from the vending machine. Need a soda? He gotcha.

He always seems to be munching on something, whether it's the crunch of Doritos or potato chips. However, he doesn't seem to have as much of a sweet tooth.

an emo king who deserves the world

a/n: i love my goat

[silent-browser]

*sigh* oh the tragic romance of a merfolk x human story. Neither can be with the other without giving up something important. Usually fins for legs. Also usually their entire family to simply love and exist with this person in a different biosphere. Rarely legs for fins if we wanna go a reverse little mermaid here.

But what if it was different. And no one had to give everything up. And maybe yandere. With a bit of soulmate shenanigans thrown in for flavor.

Imagine if you will, a walk on an empty beach. Headphones in, listening to your favorite song and sining along. Kicking up sand and the smell of the ocean air. Just minding your own business and having a good time by yourself.

Or so you think. Because not far from where you are walking a single quiet audience member hides behind some rocks, wondering why your song, your human song, sounds so similar to their soul song.

The song that they would normally perform for other merfolk in hopes of attracting their perfect life partner. But they had never garnered any attention for it.

So how did you, a weak and squishy human get them so immediately. No creature had ever been so close to repeating his own soul song back to him. And with your own little twist too. Human words and slightly different notes in his soul song. Your song. Our song. He soon found himself refering to it in his mind.

It takes a while of them impatiently waiting for your return and slowly learning your 'walks on the beach' schedule for them to finally make their move.

On the day that changed the rest of your life, you were simply walking along and humming softly to your favorite song once again when you heard the most fantastic voice start to follow along the melody with you. They matched your tone and moved their voice in such a way that it felt like an instant musical connection.

They were worried that you would stop and run away when they started but tried not to let that fear taint their song. If you ran further inland they would have a very hard time following you. Not impossible but certainly difficult. So they took your continued humming as a good sign and continued.

They began to dribble their emotions into the notes. The lonelyness. The fear of an uncaring ocean. The rush of affection they felt when they first heard you singing. The need to see you. Hold you.

Slowly, what started out as a dribble became a riptide of intense emotions they never knew they were capable of feeling. Longing. Jealousy. Want and need so powerful he felt like he would wear out his voice singing it all. By the time he stopped he was mortified that he put all of that on you. And before the first courting gift too! He suddenly felt awful. He gutted his soul when he never ment to and you weren't even singing anymore. What if you didn't want them? What if it was all too much for you? What if you left and never came back!?

You were stunned. Breathless. The emotion. The raw intensity. No words were ever sang and yet the song resonated in the very depths of your being. You felt intimidated to ever even think of humming ever again after that impromptu masterpiece. You wanted to respond but couldn't find the words to, much less the notes like they had. So you instead made your way to the shore where the music seemed to come from and searched. Looking for this person who simultaneously swept you off your feet and explained their life story in one song with no words.

Two star crossed lovers. Separated by the sea. One filled with obsession. The other with curiousity. Both wish desperately to meet and yet both are not quite ready. How strange that love can both bind and seperate. How strange indeed.

Idk where to go with this so no continuations for this one unless I suddenly get inspired. Also the end feels really jarring to me. Mostly because I originally intended for this to continue but I couldn't come up with anything so I just cut it lose. I hope you like it none the less.

[seronsalk]

A pretty little nightingale...

Part 1

Alastor x female reader (sorry gents and non-binary pals, I'll do you next!)

Masterlist AN: An idea I've been obsessed with recently...sorry if it's bad. Dividers from our lovely @saradika-graphics Warnings: Mention of Violence

"Sometimes I stare at my ceiling for so long that I forget where I am. I forget I am in a fiery pit where at any moment a knife could be jabbed into my shoulders or back and twisted. At any moment I could be killed, kidnapped, tortured, or even feasted upon. Would I taste good? Would my killers be satisfied with my death or would they too be disappointed in what I could have been for them? And even now as my alarm goes off, I wonder where my soul would go if I did one night, not wake up."

The morning in hell was pretty normal to the morning's you were alive. Wake up, get ready, go downstairs to the club, dance and sing. That beautiful structure, belting one's heart to an audience every day with no worry.

Until you found yourself doing the same thing, but in your afterlife. In hell. You will forever curse yourself because who else would you blame for your eternal damnation?

As you walked down the stairs to the dark empty club, the other performers were there already practicing.

"Look who rolled out of bed! And how is our princessa this morning?" Dante spoke, he was an insufferable demon to be around this early in the morning, and that Spanish accent rolled off his tongue right into his trumpet. He was a beautiful demon; all the musicians were. It made you wonder why such pretty boys were stuck down here with you.

You smiled at him before speaking, "doing just fine til you opened your mouth, save your air for the horn." Another musician whose name was Hernando, forced everyone to refer to him as Sir Pesci for some weird reason then spoke with a laugh in his voice. "As if saving his air would help him sound better!"-"Hey Hernando, did your mom get the flores I sent her?" Dante suddenly spoke. "Ahhh, vaffanculo," the Italian man cursed back as he waved his hands dismissively at Dante.

You laughed at the scene as the other band members didn't understand a word being said under the accents before they all turned to you. It was warm-up time and it would go on for at least three hours.

By the time the jazz club was about to open you had dolled yourself up. The servers and bartenders had finally rolled in.

Throughout your shift many older sinners had trotted in at the sound of the music. But as you went to take a break in-between songs Dante came up to you. "Y/N, apparently some big shot wants to talk to you backstage."

You looked at him curiously, "Why m-" but you were cut off by your boss. He was an arrogant man who cared less for what others thought of him unless they were giving him money or popularity. One time just to get him to hear you when you complained about fixing the door in your dressing room, you had to pay him twenty bucks. He was built like a bull and like a bull, he sometimes charged in without thought or reason.

"Y/n let's go, got a big customer who wants to meet you!" he dragged you away with his bulky hands. Dante gave you a shrug as he walked off.

Alastor's POV:

It was a normal day in hell, he strutted down the road cane in hand. He was on his way to the cannibal colony to meet with Rosie.

When demons saw him they would jump into traffic or even through windows to avoid his gaze. His devilish constant smile sent even the tougher, bigger demons groveling.

As he was walking though, his ears twitched. The sound of jazz, but more prominent, a beautiful voice. He could recognize the song immediately, Heatwaves, by Ethel Waters. He followed the voice around the corner of the street and saw some demons trickling into a club. He twirled his cane in interest and his smile became wider.

He walked towards the bouncers, two of the biggest mobsters stood strong and firm, but one look at Alastor made them sweat. "Good'ay my good gents, tell me what is this fine establishment about then?" A little hint of Alastors transatlantic southern accent sprung like cattails in a bayou.

One of the bouncers spoke in an almost whisper, "It's The Spotted Fawn jazz club, sir." Alastor's smile widened in interest again. "Well, pay me no mind gentleman, I simply will be taking a look around." And with that, he walked past them and a second later one of the bouncers told the big boss.

He walked in, it smelled of rye and smoke. He loved the atmosphere, it was like he was in New Orleans all over again.

Then your voice struck his ears like lightning. He looked over towards the stage, jazz musicians playing behind you as you sang. Your h/l h/c hair bouncing as you swayed your hips to your own song.

Your boss had interrupted his train of thoughts, "Why I wouldn't have expected the radio demon to be in my club-welcome sir." He offered his hand to shake and Alastor's smile twisted as he ignored his hand. "Charming establishment you have here sir! I appreciate people who are still following the more traditional...ways." Alastor spoke his eyes wandering back to you as you danced on stage with one of the musicians.

"Say, my good man, who is that lovely dame singing?" Alastor inquired as he twirled his cane. "That'd be y/n sir, one of my finer performers." Y/n....your name twirled circles in his mind. You were gorgeous, as was your voice.

And for the first time in a while, since his mother and Rosie, he felt admiration for a woman. He spoke again, "Well I would love to meet h-" he was cut off. "2k upfront," was all the bull-built man said. Alastor's neck basically snapped as he looked at him, "Excuse me?" he said. "I don't trust any of you overlords and the last thing my performers need is the attention from one of you causing them, or me, problems. You wanna talk to her? Pay me or strike a deal sir." This bull had no class it made Alastor cackle. "Normally I'd kill you where you stand, but because I'm feeling generous about how lovely this establishment I'll let you off with a warning. Talk like that again towards me and I'll pull your guts out and serve them to your customers." His radio static backed his voice like a snarling panther. "Now about this deal, tell me what do you desire?" "Follow me we talk business in the back." The bull led Alastor away.

The bull brought her into his office, where Alastor was sitting. Her eyes widened a little, but she quickly sat down. "I was told you wanted to speak with me?" she asked. They were alone now.

EN: Hi guys so I like this idea, I was gonna make a part two, but let me know what you think!

[bambieyedoll]

i saw ur bella hc on my feed and i am instantly obsessed, faster than the speed of light ‼️🥹 can i request an hc where its a looking from afar sort of thing? like bella is rlly known now but also musician reader 🤭 like would they fangirl ab each other on public or privately? would they meet?AAAAAAAAAAAAAA 😫

hi, baby ! aw, that’s so sweet. thank you so much for that, it means a lot to me. here it is, i hope you like it, love. ♡

bella would be obsessed the moment they hear your voice on the radio while driving home from work. would quickly download your album that same night feeling intrigued by you.

in a couple of days, they already watched every interview and stalked your social media.

the way you expressed, both through your art, your songs, and in interviews, made them wish they could talk to you, desire holding a conversation with you.

you were just mesmerizing to bella.

would listen to your songs every day without fail. it relaxed them whenever they were feeling tired or overwhelmed because of their work.

the effect you had on them was something else.

you’d have them fangirling in secret whenever you posted on instagram or released a new song.

bella would keep you for themselves. just gatekeeping you, holding onto the feeling of you being a treasure they had found and only they knew.

you knew them and admired their work dearly too.

bella’s work on the series the last of us was just breathtaking. you found yourself every sunday sitting on your sofa with a snack watching new episodes.

you stalked bella’s instagram too.

your curiosity about them as a person grew and you loved watching their interviews. adored listening to their opinions and point of view about the series.

you wouldn’t dare to follow them on instagram tho.

your shy nature wouldn’t let you. however, you did posted your tv screen with the tlou intro one sunday.

when bella watched your story using their secret acc, they went nuts. they would let out a little squeak and giggles. the happiness was so real.

would go all shy afterwards. knowing you watched their work and not only that, you’ve been watching them every sunday.

the day you finally followed them, bella would be on could nine. immediately following you back, to your surprise and delight.

two little cuties staring at their phones in their respective houses. totally oblivious to the admiration and the (massive) crush you had on each other.

bella would think about texting you a hundred times after you officially became mutuals on ig.

wouldn’t do it due to their shyness and nervousness.

honestly, bella would open your dm’s, write something, read it five times, then delete it and exit the app. just overthinking the whole thing.

you, on the other hand, would feel courageous after following them and getting a follow back. so one day, you deep breathed and wrote to them first.

just imagine the moment bella woke up one day and saw your message on their dm’s.

they would double blink just to make sure they were awake and it wasn’t a dream.

from that day on, bella and you would text though instagram and share your mutual admiration.

bella would flag your chat to make sure your was the first one they’d see.

would get to know each other more and more in just a couple of days then they would officially ask for your number with some cute excuse like wanting you to be able to call them if you needed anything.

bella wouldn’t get over the excitement of having gotten your number.

would add your contact with a lovely heart after your name and then smile to themselves at how pretty it looked.

talking to each other would became a daily need.

your day wouldn’t be complete without your “good morning” and “sweet dreams”.

they’d give you smooth little compliments every here and there, making you blush through the phone.

you would also start to videocall. making it even more personal but also difficult to hide the effect you had on each other.

the first videocall was a mix of adorable pink painting both your cheeks, nervous giggles and glowing eyes glancing at each other.

for real, they wouldn’t be able to focus being well aware that your soft gaze was directed at them through the screen of their phone.

sometimes, you would sing to them obeying their adorable demand.

the song was up to their choice but when they said you could sing what you choose you opted for a verse of “glue song” and that made their heart go crazy.

bella’s crush on you would grow to the point they started to think about you even more constantly.

asking you on a date would be on their mind 24/7.

the day they finally asked you out (after planning it on detail) it was though a video call you both had before going to sleep.

it was something you started doing, finding comfort in your conversations that sometimes lasted until late night before wishing each other sweet dreams.

you immediately would say yes while nodding slightly with the purest smile just for them.

bella would let out a happy “yes!” in celebration after you ended the call and went to sleep feeling like the most fortunate person alive.

[campbyler]

mmm what the fuck?

how am i supposed to live like a normal functioning person after experiencing the full range of human and Inhuman emotions?

thea i love u i promise but i also want to kill u in the most cruel way possible.

i was trying to read 32k words one hour before the work and failed Miserably 😭 i only get through driving lesson part. can u believe i had to do actual work the entire day instead of reading my gay fanfiction? 💔heartbreaking misogynistic And homophobic if u ask me.

anyway. i know im going to forget something. it always happens and then im too shy to send other asks so let hope it doesn’t happen this time.

driving lesson.

don’t worry about ur manual transmission description. i’ve changed three instructors in the span of year and a half and all three of them told me different things. i didn’t notice any Big Serious issues that would be at odds with driving mechanic.

to the other news. will sucks 😭😭 not his fault Obviously. he’s naturally anxious and tbh mike didn’t give him any hints about how to feel when the car is ready to go. not mikes fault too. i bet he doesn’t even think about this little thing anymore (and cause u don’t know about them either. which is ok don’t worry about it. u probably just need to experience it ti fully understand). i was so happy when will finally manage to get the car going 😭😭 i probably called him baby too.

and then i literally passed out when i saw the mike called Him baby?? first will’s brain in denial made me questioning was it really for him or for the car. cause mike Loves that car i wouldn’t be surprised if he really call it baby from time to time. but then i remembered that we know how mike feels thanks god and i became like 85% sure that it was for will. (i also Run to check playlist right after this line. yeah i found “king of my heart” there. u make the impossible possible cause why am i listening to two of my least favorite reputation songs and genuinely enjoy them?)

i mentally add the keychains to the list of things we need to know more about. but i think it’s cute that they both not only save them but also use them almost daily. and they both choose car keys to hang the keychains on. dare i say soulmates.

*two weeks later*

also i think it’s funny they consider each other hot while driving.

and of course mike is obsessed with old expensive cars!!

are the malls in the us exactly dying? my office building is near the mall and i can guarantee u that in my country they r super alive.

ok i might be wrong but i think that the deleted scene is from bookstore part idk.

i think it’s cute that they trust each other enough to allow to choose as significant item as journals concerning that they really picky about them.

and i loved that mike blushed over a simple kiss 🫶🏻🫶🏻

(i feel like i want to catch up on everything and it’s killing me cause i write down one thing and immediately remember the other 😭)

THEY WERE SO BOYFRIENDS IN DINER!!! i don’t think i will ever recover from how cute they r and how much they actually like each other (and how single i am. as the classic said “when someone will prey on my neurodivergency….” and so on and so forth). i love that everyone can see it and im obsessed that boys don’t even want to deny it. i think a lot about the fact that mike said that they middle school sweethearts like he regrets about the missed opportunities (but also he doesn’t regret cause the thing they have now (at this exact moment. cause i still have bad feeling) is like that Because of years of semi-friendship and rivalry and unsaid confessions).

and i think even more about the fact that mike didn’t want to talk about his pretentious ivy league college. squinting so hard and taking a lot of notes (in fact writing paragraphs of analysis to my friends who has no idea what acswy).

the photobooth scene!!! omg i can’t believe u almost deleted it all??? suni is our hero! lots of hugs and kisses and thanks to them!!

i can’t believe mike talked about showing pictures to their friends in one minute and literally kissing will on them in the other. i love them they r so silly and in love and can’t get enough of each other. u can feel how close they become and that the air is thick with the newfound (and rediscovered) feelings. and they can’t live without touching and the hold hands constantly!!! all day long!!! and it’s not enough!!! and oh. i think it wasn’t the last time we saw pictures (squinting even harder).

the way max immediately cut the bullshit and asked about swearshirt. i need to know what lucas wrote to mike.

he likes him!!!

i love the difference between mikes “i know i like him but i won’t do anything about it” and wills “i need to kiss him to death right now!”

and the kiss on the backseat of mikes stupid mustang!! we were all waiting for it!

i think i reread and memorized the last part and in still shaking whenever i think about “nervous” part. mike makes will nervous!! and he makes him shake and do stupid stuff like kissing and blushing and thinking to add heart next to his name and call him his boyfriend!!! omg!!

“I’ve got you, baby” WHO WILL GET ME??? im the one who is going insane??? it’s so tender. my boys 💔💔💔

(the second time. my eyes r hurting from squinting that much. and i feel like we’ll have “el’s not stupid” kind of scene in the flashbacks)

this character hits so hard!! i’ve never doubted any of u but i can see why this one is one of ur favorite thea!

thank u so much for ur hard work. if i could draw i would to the whole ass animation of this chapter (and any other too).

love u. thank u for reading all this rambling

mmm what the fuck is RIGHT alya bc this is how i feel every time i read one of ur lovely essay comments. bc whaqt the fuck. why do u want me to CRY ALL THE TIME. (i guess it's fair considering we are making u cry with the fic itself but still . Rude)

you are so real for trying to read 32k in one hour and also so me . rly fucked up and cruel that you would have to work (even tho u threatened to murder me)...i hope you are freed from these perils Soon. don't ever be too shy to send more asks tho every ask from you is a BLESSING and a TREAT!!! EVEN WHENTHEY ARE LACED W THREATS!!!!!!!!!!!! and also tysm for validating my manual driving lesson description bc fr every video i watched was different and i was so stressed but it's FINE. ALYA SIGNED OFF ON IT SO NO ONE ELSE MATTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEAL W IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! will Does suck and that's one thing we can all agree on 💗💗💗 i was going to include a bit about likee what the engine Sounds like bc i know it sounds different when you're ready to switch gears but honest tbhly the driving scene alone is like 12k and i was super losing steam by the time i thought of it so i didn't <3 he is def a baby and mike def refers to his car as baby so he is right to be confused. but it WAS for him!! we actually aren't 100% sure of mike's feelings Yet (ch08 is meant to be the precipice of a realization, not an actual one) but obviously . we do have a pretty good idea of how he does feel. teehee. also i am glad you are enjoying komh now bc wtf......how is it one of your least faves................i support you but i am also judging u a little alya .

i think keychains will be included in one of the companions :o) also OBVIOUSLY they find each other hot while driving. they're both annoying and down bad 🙄🙄

malls here are super dying!! i think the only ones that aren't are ones in Major Cities (there's two nearby me that are pretty popular, but the other ones are mostly closed, and it's definitely been a phenomenon in the us over the last few years thanks to online shopping)!! the deleted scene is actually from the driving scene, but the bookstore scene Feels shorter bc i was truly at the point where i had nothing left to give when writing it (it was the last part of ch09 to be written), so it definitely suffered from that. if we ever do Huge post-mortem edits once acswy is over, i might go back and add to it, or write a deleted-scene-type companion, but tht's the tea w the bookstore scene <3

the diner scene was SOOOO fun to write and it had me blushing frfr. i answered this in another ask but the middle school sweethearts comment was Definitely the most insane thing that i thought of for this chapter and to me it was for sure the nail in the coffin for will of like damn. ok. he's Serious abt this. bc i think with their #history that will has trouble admitting even to himself that he likes mike, and so he'd need to feel pretty certain of how mike feels first, and after processing the middle school sweethearts comment later in the car that's what made him realize like oh damn. i Do like him. SO MUCH. and we all nodded and patted his back and said yeah baby we know. but what you described mike thinking is absolutely exactly how he feels 💗 very reminiscent and wistful, even.

LOL LITERALLY THIS HAS BEEN A UNANIMOUS COMMENT ACROSS THE BOARD OF "THANK GOD FOR SUNI" (INCLUDING MYSELF). to Explain the way i was feeling about it -- i did not initially mean to have that be a Spicy make out moment! it was supposed to read more along the lines of the thrift store scene, or even the kiss after will finished driving the mustang, so very sweet and soft and Romantic. it just didn't come out that way once i was actually writing it, and so i was nervous that i was toeing the line too heavily, or tht it was out of place with the rest of the vibe i had constructed for the chapter. a combination of suni (and abby, who got early access and acted as our second beta) being adamant that it Did fit and worked well, and me being too pressed for time/not having enough energy to rewrite that saved it from the deleted scene graveyard <3 thank god fr. they are both so fucking stupid.

the entiiiiire realization scene up from will realizing he likes mike to the very end of the chapter is my favorite thing that i have ever written i think 💗 i am just so happy with the way it turned out, especially with it being at the point in the fic that it's at!! it felt rly right for will :') also mike calling him baby!!! that was such a last minute decision but i'm so glad i went for it!! the original line was "i've got you, yeah?" but baby hit So much harder so shout out to editing thea for making that change 🤸 will wants to add a heart next to mike's name in his phone SOOOO BAD!!! WHEN WILL HE GET TO!!!!!!!!!!!

your second ask SO TRUE SO REAL. TEEHEE AND MWAHA AND SO ON AND SO FORTH. also you're so right jonathan is so fucked up for stealing steve from will like that 🙄

tytyty as always for your novel length comment alya 💗 really and genuinely and truthfully the thought of getting to read ur reactions is one of the most exciting parts of uploading a chapter!! i eagerly await all of ur other reactions <3333

[1heartfanfics]

If any of you have heard the song euclid by sleep token this is a loosely based song fic. I was watching 9-1-1 lonestar when I discovered and became obsessed with this song, and it immediately made me think of Carlos and T.K. You don't need to be familiar with the song but I do recommend listening to it just cause its one of my fave songs and I love it.

TW: mentions of addiction

"T.K, you're gonna be late!" Carlos called from down the hallway as he pulled on his uniform. They were both supposed to be at the work in 45 minutes but T.K. hadn't even gotten out of bed yet.

When he received no response, Carlos walked back to the bedroom to physically haul his fiance out of bed. He found T.K. awake, laying curled up on his side and staring blankly at the wall.

"T.K?" Carlos asked, frowning. Something was wrong.

"Just give me five more minutes," T.K. said quietly, pleading. A single tear slid down his face and onto the mattress.

"Baby... what's going on?" Carlos asked, moving to crouch down next to the bed in front of T.K.

T.K. sighed, squeezing his eyes shut. "I just- I just can't,"

"Okay, that's okay." Carlos nodded, reaching out to cup T.K.'s cheek with his hand. He used his thumb to swipe away the tears.

"I can't stop thinking about it.. feels like it's burning me up from the inside," T.K. cried, curling in on himself even more as his tears started to fall more freely.

'Drugs', Carlos thought, putting the pieces together. T.K. was thinking about using. He'd known that T.K. had been struggling since Sadie had dosed them, but he'd gone to so many meetings and hadn't said anything so Carlos had figured that he was handling it okay. Apparently he hadn't been paying enough attention.

"Well don't keep it inside then, talk to me baby," Carlos said. He stood up from his crouched position and sat on the edge of the bed, running a hand through T.K.'s hair.

T.K. took a shaky breath. He'd never talked to Carlos about his addiction, not really. Carlos knew his past, the history, but T.K. had never talked to him about the cravings or any of the other mental struggles that came with being sober.

"It's hard to explain," he started with a sigh.

"Just try, it's okay," Carlos said, smiling reassuringly.

T.K. sighed again, "It feels like... like my addiction, and my past... like it's haunting me."

Carlos didn't understand, but he nodded anyway, encouraging T.K. to keep going.

"Like it's right out there in the hallway watching me, waiting for me to screw up," T.K. feels his face grow warm, flushing red with shame. He should be better than this. "I just feel so heavy-" he breaks off with a sob.

"Oh Tyler... come here baby," Carlos said softly, pulling T.K. into his arms. T.K. fell against Carlos's chest, grabbing a fistful of his t-shirt to keep himself grounded.

Carlos gently rocked them back and forth, one hand tangled in T.K.'s hair, the other wrapped tightly on his waist.

"Shh, shh, shh," Carlos whispered, "I've got you."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

T.K. picked up his phone for the hundredth time that day, contemplating calling his boyfriend. He was struggling today, again, but he didn't want to bother Carlos at work. He still had 5 hours left on his shift.

He wasn't thinking about using exactly, it's not like he was planning out where he could go to get drugs or how he'd hide it from Carlos or anything like that. But he was thinking about drugs. Thinking about how it was only a matter of time before he fucked up.

That's what the universe had been trying to tell him hadn't it?

He'd gotten too comfortable in his sobriety. So Sadie came along to ruin it and remind him that he was an addict. Once an addict, always an addict. It was his fate; a bad day, a relapse, an overdose.

T.K. felt his breathing start to quicken. He suddenly felt like the room was spinning, and suffocatingly hot. It was hard to breath.

This time when he picked up his phone, he did call Carlos. It rang and rang and rang and went to voicemail. T.K. felt like crying. He couldn't do this alone.

"Hi, it's me." T.K. started, his voice sounding shaky and hoarse. "Call me when you get the chance? I-I just.. it feels like the walls are closing in around me and... just call me. Please?"

T.K. hung up, a sob escaping him as his vision blurred and tears started to fall down his cheeks. He couldn't do this...

Then his phone rang.

"C-carlos?" he answered quickly

"Baby? What's going on?" Carlos answered, sounding worried.

T.K. melted at the sound of his voice, his eyes slipping shut in relief. Even just hearing him made everything seem a little bit easier.

"I'm sorry.. I'm just- I'm having a hard time today," T.K. answered, feeling embarrassed all over again for needing Carlos so much.

"Hey, you don't need to be sorry T.K. You can always call me when you need me. Just talk to me, yeah?" Carlos assured him.

T.K. was quiet for a moment, Carlos waiting patiently for him to find the words to explain how he was feeling. "I can't get away from it. It's too much and it never stops," he said after a minute.

"But you have gotten away from it before baby. And I can't imagine how hard this is, having your sobriety taken from you like that, but I know that you'll get through it again. We will get through it," Carlos said.

"How am I supposed to get through it when it's everywhere? When I close my eyes, it's there. When I open them it's like I'm watching my past play out of the ceiling, like a movie that I can't stop from watching," T.K. rambled, silent tears slipping down his cheeks as he spoke.

"I'm sure it will fade with time T.K..." Carlos trails off. Truthfully he doesn't know what to say. "I wish I could take this from you," he said quietly, his heart hurting for his boyfriend.

"No." T.K. said quickly, "Don't say that. I hope to god you never know this feeling Carlos."

"Okay, okay, you're right," Carlos conceded, although he would still take all of T.K.'s pain upon himself if he could. "But I am going to be right by your side through all of this," he added.

T.K. sighed, "I know. You are my solid ground Carlos, I couldn't do this without you."

"But Tyler you are so strong. You've been through so much and yet you're still here, fighting every day and saving other people's lives in the process," Carlos said. He truly was in awe of T.K.'s ability to push through any scenario and come out even stronger on the other side."

Carlos's radio chirped in the background and T.K. knew that meant he had to go.

"I'll be home soon okay? But call again if you need me, I'll answer as soon as I can. I love you," Carlos said quickly before hanging up.

T.K.'s chest felt tight in the absence of Carlos's voice. He set his phone down, forcing himself to take a deep breath. Even if T.K. couldn't reach his sobriety by himself this time, Carlos would be there to help bring it down to him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Hey, it's me. Call me when you have the time please?"

Carlos's heart sunk when he heard the voicemail T.K. had left. He must be having another rough day with his sobriety. Since he had a few moments, Carlos pressed on T.K.'s name to call him back. He waited as it rang, but received no answer. Shit.

'He's probably fine. Maybe he's in the bathroom or something,' Carlos thought. He forced himself to wait a few minutes, leg tapping nervously, before he tried calling again. Still no answer.

That's it. He quickly radioed his team to let them know he was going out patrolling. They didn't need to know that he was planning on patrolling his own home. As he pulled out of the station lot he quickly sent T.K. a text.

'Call me back if you get this please. Just want to make sure you're okay.'

But T.K. still hadn't answered when he pulled up at their loft. He hurried up the stairs and unlocked the door.

"T.K.?" he called into the dark and quiet loft. "Tyler?" he called again, walking through the living room to their bedroom. He'd seen T.K.'s car outside so he had to be here.

But the bedroom was empty too. And so was the bathroom. Carlos was at least grateful that he hadn't found his boyfriend unconscious or harming himself somehow. But his heart was still pounding with worry, T.K.'s vague voicemail echoing in his ears.

The front door opened then.

"Carlos?" T.K.'s voice called out, having seen the cruiser in front of the loft.

"T.K.! Are you okay?" Carlos rushed out to the kitchen to meet his boyfriend, who was wearing shorts and a tank, damp with sweat. He'd gone for a run, that was all. Carlos breathed a sigh of relief.

"I'm alright," T.K. shrugged, "What are you doing here?"

"I got your voicemail but you didn't answer when I called back. I got worried," Carlos explained.

"Shit, sorry. I went running and didn't take my phone with me. I just had to get out of here," T.K. said, wincing. He realized how worrisome his brief voicemail and then radio silence could have seemed. "I'm so sorry baby, I didn't mean to worry you," he added.

"It's okay baby, I'm just glad you're okay," Carlos said, reaching out for his boyfriend.

"I'm all sweaty," T.K. warned.

Carlos just shook his head, "I don't care, come here."

So T.K. let Carlos pull him into his arms, holding him tightly. T.K. rested his head on Carlos's shoulder, breathing him in. His run had helped, but this helped even more.

"Are you really okay?" Carlos asked, pulling back slightly.

T.K. hesitated, shrugging again. "I think so? It's just hard when I'm off and you're not. I don't know what to do with myself and I start feeling all couped up."

"I know, I wish I could get my schedule to match up with yours," Carlos nodded. He had tried. He'd talked to his boss, who had been sympathetic, but had still told him that there wasn't much he could do at the moment.

T.K. shook his head, "I know that's out of your control. It's just hard when I'm here with myself. I wish I could just leave this part of me behind," he said, voice shaking slightly with emotion.

"This is just another part of what's made you who you are. We're all shaped by our experiences T.K., good and bad," Carlos said.

"I know, but right now it isn't a past experience cause it's happening again. Because of that bitch my addiction is like 'hey loser, remember me?'" T.K. rarely cursed, but it felt appropriate when talking about this. Sadie had ruined everything he'd worked so hard for.

"I hate her for doing this to you too baby. But you will get through this, I know you will. And I'll be right here by your side the whole time, always. That's all that matters right now," Carlos said, pulling T.K. close to him again, holding him tight. If he could, he would never let him go.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Baby? Are you okay?" Carlos asked, having woken up to find T.K. sitting up in bed next to him.

"Oh sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," T.K. said instead of answering his question.

"You didn't, what's going on?" Carlos asked, sitting up as well.

"I'm okay," T.K. said, leaning his head down onto Carlos's shoulder.

"T.K..." Carlos sighed, he thought they'd gotten past this false cover of being okay that T.K. used to hide beneath.

"I really am okay Carlos I promise. I'm just thinking, couldn't sleep," T.K. insisted. Carlos relaxed a little, leaning his head down against T.K.'s. He sounded like he meant it.

"Thinking about what?" Carlos asked, grabbing one of T.K.'s hands in his, rubbing his thumb over the back of T.K.'s hand.

"About my addiction," T.K. shrugged. "About how it's a part of me, like you said. I won't ever be able to get rid of it, but I can own it. It belongs to me and I have control over it," he explained.

"That's a good way of thinking about it," Carlos agreed.

T.K. nodded, "I kind of feel like a new person. Or at least back to being the person I was before this happened."

"That's good," Carlos said, lifting his head up and turning to face T.K. "Hey," he continued quietly. T.K. turned to face Carlos as well. "I am so proud of you," Carlos said, reaching out to hold T.K.'s face in his hands, leaning their foreheads together.

"I couldn't have done it without you," T.K. whispered into the dark of their bedroom.

"You could have, but I'm glad you didn't have to," Carlos whispered back.

They sat there like that for a minute, quietly breathing each other in. Eventually T.K. let Carlos maneuver him until they were both laying down again, legs tangled under the covers, his head on Carlos's chest. Here, in Carlos's arms, he felt safe. And he knew that he truly would be okay.

**Author's note: I realized that this song also would have fit Destiel pretty well but for some reason I've always associated it with T.K.'s addiction so that's how I wrote it. Anyway, hope you liked it. Also some of the working might seem a little weird just cause I was trying to fit the lyrics in.

[babygirl-diaz]

bad idea, right? (Crack-ish Fic)

I was listening to this song and I couldn't stop thinking about Eddie singing along to it.

***

The last thing Eddie expected was to get music recommendations from his 14-year-old son's girlfriend but here he was. Penny introduced him to Olivia Rodrigo and he became a little obsessed with “bad idea right?” especially since he and Buck were in the off part of their on-and-off relationship, but he always kind of had the urge to "trip and fall into his bed."

As he cleaned the fire engines one day, the song came on in his playlist. He couldn't help but shake his body along to the song and before he knew it, he was singing along to the lyrics, "Like blah-blah-blah blah blah blah blah blah. Should probably not. I should probably, probably not. I should probably, probably not."

Soon his voice got a little louder and he stopped cleaning the engine altogether and instead belted out the lyrics while playing air guitar. "Yes, I know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect? "I only see him as a friend, " the biggest lie I ever said. Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect? I only see him as a friend, I just tripped and fell into his bed." He banged his head along to the song and bounced around while continuing to play air guitar.

"EDDIE DIAZ!"

Eddie almost jumped out of his skin when he heard Bobby's voice. He turned around to see Bobby giving him an unamused look with his lips pursed together and his eyes narrowed at him.

Eddie immediately took out his earphones and stood completely still like he was standing in front of a drill sergeant. "Sorry, Bobby!"

Looking up at the loft, he found Chimney and Hen standing there, laughing their asses off falling over each other while Buck looked like he was cringing. Eddie didn't know which was worse.

"Eddie, if you're done being a 15-year-old girl, you can join us for dinner," Bobby told him and then turned around to leave.

"Cap-" Eddie called out to him but he didn't know what he would say. to him.

"It's okay, Eddie," Bobby said turning around. "You have a nice voice, by the way." With that, he smirked and went back upstairs.

Eddie threw his head back and groaned before heading upstairs after him.

"I wonder which ex's bed you tripped and fell into, Eddie," Chimney teased him when he caught up with him.

"I think it's obvious. He said it himself 'I only see him as a friend,'" Hen teased coming up to his other side.

Eddie groaned again, "I'm not hungry, cap. I'll be right back." He left before anyone could say anything else and locked himself in one of the bathroom stalls downstairs.

As he wallowed in there, he heard the front door open, followed by footsteps. "Eddie?" It was Buck. "I know you're in here somewhere."

"Go away, Buck. I'm not in the mood for more teasing," Eddie told him.

"I'm not here to tease you, baby- sorry-" Buck sighed and then Eddie saw his feet stop in front of the stall. "Can you come out?"

"No," Eddie replied stubbornly.

"Please?"

Eddie sighed and unlocked the door, but he didn't move from his spot on the toilet seat.

"Hey, you have nothing to be embarrassed about," Buck tried assuring him.

"Me declaring -very loudly- that I want to fall back into the bed of my ex at my workplace isn't embarrassing?" Eddie huffed.

"I am actually flattered," Buck told him.

"Good for you because I want to crawl into a hole and die," Eddie informed him.

"Well, if it's any consolation, I miss having you in my bed too," Buck shrugged.

"Just in your bed?" Eddie asked biting his lips.

"No, not just in my bed," Buck confirmed. "Now come on, let's go eat," he said holding out his hand for Eddie to take.

Eddie looked between the hand and Buck's face before taking it and getting up.

As they left, Buck smirked and asked, "Doesn't she say 'And I'm sure I've seen some hotter men, but I really can't remember when?'"

Eddie rolled his eyes and gently punched his arm. "Of course, that's the part that resonates with you."

[crazy4frozen]

Frozen; A movie worth melting for

As I celebrate my ultimate favorite movie turning 10 years old. let me tell you why I think the movie is "Worth melting for

Frozen is so magical and it has helped me through difficult times in my life such as adapting to group home life as an only child. and learning how to be patient and live with people. In many ways, I can relate to my favorite character Elsa. She had to hide her magic Ice powers from the world and more importantly her sister Anna for many years making her feel so isolated and alone. And that's how I felt especially in that first year and a half that I lived in a group home (I moved in 2010

However, just like Elsa I was able to 'Let It Go' and move into my own supported apartment 6 years later but then I felt isolated again 'until I learned how to schedule my own activities. And I feel the sisterly love between Elsa and Anna is so magical and one must not forget the songs are so powerful!

I am such a HUGE fan of Frozen now that I can't believe that for the first 7 months I hated it! However, three of my group home house mates whom I was living with were so obsessed with the movie from the very start and they were willing to try anything to get me to love their favorite movie. And man were they persistent at it too! In fact, I remember them dragging me to to the theater 3 times to see the movie a nd to 'Frozen on Ice" where I fell asleep. However, in June 2014, I 'fell in love' with the song 'Let it Go' when I really listened to the lyrics of the song. On the 15th, my Best Buddy through the Carroll College friendship program for people with disabilities invited me to see her favorite movie. When I found out that it was Frozen I immediate started to protest. I told her that I already seen it three times and I flat out didn't want to watch it again and also that I was so annoyed with it! However being the crazy, obsessed superfan that she was, refused to let me give up! She kept pointing out to me that the song that I had gotten 'hooked' on was in the movie and that if I watched it again I would love it just like she did! And boy was she ever right! It had taken 4 times but I finally was 'Hooked'. Which was great for those super fans of Greenway whom I knew for a fact were probably going to disown me if I hadn't started liking their movie! Soon after that day I become a fan,I joined the gang in watching it very day the movie and those fans became increasingly excited with my growing passion!

I began going to all these Frozen theme events many times such as 'Breakfast With Elsa,

'Frozen on Ice" three more times and numerous meet and greets with Elsa and Anna! Also, in April of this year I went to Frozen: The Broadway Musical in Milwaukee at the PAC and had the GREATEST TIME EVER! and I look forward to going to many more Frozen events in the future and oh, how I can forget one of my latest day program Goodwill throwing me an epic Frozen theme birthday party August 27th 2018!

Now, in 2023 I can't get enough Frozen! I watched the movie 604 times and counting, have a ever growing collection of stuff. I can say that that at 9 years and 5 months Frozen has captured my interest longer than any other movie. I have seen it' more times than any other movie and I don't think I have gotten more stuff than any other movie! And I'm sure I will have Frozen FEVER for many more years, as Disney is making a Frozen 3 & 4! And I owe it all to those super fans of Greenway group home and my ex best buddy for their persistent efforts to make a fan out of me!

I would like to also point out that i was 43 years old when I fell madly 'in love' with Frozen and many people teased me for being way to old to be so 'into' a Disney movie that many believe, including my parents that is just for kids under the age of 12. Also that for me going to events such as 'Breakfast with Elsa' or 'Frozen On Ice' aren't age appropriate nor that I should be interested in going to them!

I hope that by reading this fan experience post people would see that a love, even an obsessive love for a Disney movie has no age limits!

Happy 10th Anniversary Frozen! I love you so much

This is a picture of me from the 2022 special needs prom!

[popmusicu]

And One: The Charm of Underground Electronic Music

There was a class where we discussed the integration of electronic sounds in music and the birth of electro as a music genre. That day, the teacher asked us to think about an electronic pop song released since 2018.

My first thoughts when asked to think about electronic music were of some artists that immediately came to mind, like Crystal Castles, MGMT, ROMANTICA (the Russian artist), Sub Urban, Tokyopill, and many others. Although I’m not really an expert on music (hence my interest in joining this course, haha), many of these artists may not be strictly defined by the ‘electronic’ genre. They fall into subgenres related to electronic music, such as synthpop, new wave, jungle, electroclash, and other uniquely named styles. Reflecting on this family of electro-music and watching the music videos shown in class that day, I realized that electronic elements are deeply integrated into the music I listen to. This brings me to the group I want to talk about today: And One.

Why did I choose And One? Initially, it was one of the names that came to mind when asked about an electro song, but I dismissed it because they hadn’t released anything new since 2014. Also, I wasn’t sure if they could be strictly defined as ‘electronic’, and they didn’t seem to be well-known among my peers despite their great music. Additionally, And One has always given me ‘Depeche Mode-esque’ vibes, which intrigued me to explore their music and history further. This curiosity led me to make this month’s post about them.

The story of And One began when Steve Naghavi and his family emigrated as refugees from Iran to Germany in 1980. Seven years later, Naghavi was fluent in the language, working in computer repair, and absorbing the European aesthetic of those years. He was exposed to Depeche Mode’s ‘I Just Can’t Get Enough’ and became obsessed with their music. This obsession led him to frequent Linientreu, a techno-specialized discotheque in Berlin, where he met Chris Ruiz, another EBM music lover. Together, they founded And One in 1989.

Equipped with only two analog synthesizers and a beatbox, Naghavi and Ruiz worked on their first demos, promoting their songs at many shows and discotheques. In 1991, And One launched its debut album, ‘Anguish’, featuring the heavily Persian-culture-influenced ‘Metalhammer’, which became their first megahit and won them the ‘Best New Artist’ award in Germany that year.

Since then, And One has undergone many changes over the years: the constant leaving and returning of Chris Ruiz and other members to the band, which now still has Naghavi as frontman and three more members. Their music has evolved significantly, shifting from primitive industrial to a calmer sound, as shown in ‘Sometimes’ (1997) or ‘Love You to the End’ (2006). Naghavi’s aesthetic also changed, leaving behind his PVC pants and red-colored hair for a more classy and sober attire. The themes of their lyrics also matured, moving from aggressive (like ‘Second Front’ (1991)) to more mature and romantic discussions of war, youth, and technology topics (‘An Alle Krieg’ (2014)).

Steve Naghavi through the years

Despite being heavily influenced by Depeche Mode over many years, And One has managed to create a unique sound with distinctive keyboard elements. This has resulted in 14 studio albums over more than 30 years, influencing new groups in the synthpop, EBM, and new wave scenes.

From left to right: Steve Naghavi, Gio van Oli y Chris Ruiz

Reflecting on And One’s and, specially, Steve Naghavi’s journey, it's fascinating to see how their music, with its underground roots, continues to captivate me. The blend of EBM, synthpop, and industrial creates a sound that is both edgy and irresistibly danceable. And One's ability to evolve while staying true to their unique style reminds me that music is a constantly changing landscape, shaped by innovation and personal expression. Whether you're drawn in by the beats or the intriguing lyrics, their music invites you to move and explore the depths of this alternative but interesting sound.

I'll leave you two And One's songs so you can give them a try!

Military Fashion Show 

Enjoy the Unknown (my personal fav)

-Francisca Rivera C.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sources: 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/And_One https://www.elconfidencial.com/cultura/2016-10-02/concierto-and-one-steve-naghavi-refugiado-irani-depeche-mode_1266477/ https://rkvradio.com/2021/03/14/and-one/

[cassorpa]

SAMMY YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL

SAMANTHA!!! I love her sm. The drummer for the Pit Fiends. Quinn's closest friend since pre-school. Family disappointment? But how and why did she get to where she is.(all of the following content was created quickly and is subject to change).

TW// High expectations, Absentee parents, Familial conflict

The following is copied and pasted from my loreforge "History" section for Sam:

Baozhai was born on January 12th 2008. Her mother, Jiang (20 at the time) was overjoyed and quit her factory job to act as a full time parent to her new daughter and, 5 years later, her son Dong. Her father, Jun(24 at the time) was absent at the time of birth as he was tied up in his sales job. This created a sense of resentment between her parents as this absence became a pattern for other important events in their lives. Sam's parents have always been rather distant and disconnected and as a result she became attached to Quinn as she was willing to give Sam the affection she could not receive elsewhere. Their expectations were also extremely high which clashed greatly with Sam's affinity for the arts. This meant she became burnt out at a young age and has been deemed the "Family Disappointment". Her parents are now focused solely on ensuring her little brother does not end up like her.

In contrast to this, Sam is intent on making sure her brother does not have the same troubles she did by showing him the love and affection she never received and allowing him to experience the fun parts of life. The Yan household has since become a sort of battleground where, during the little amount of time she spends there, Sam is forced to fight with her parents over the wellbeing of her little brother. Dong is conflicted about where he stands in this ongoing war. On the one hand, he loves his sister and every day he spends with her is worth more than 100 days with his work obsessed parents however, as most children do, he feels an innate sense of loyalty to his parents that is hard to break away from.

Sam and Quinn met in pre-school and became fast friends because both of their favourite colours were light blue. This has since changed and now neither of them really know their favourite colours. Despite this loss of common ground they remained friends throughout primary and secondary school. They followed each other through everything which caused alot of the grown-ups in their life to joke that they were attached at the hip. They shared alot of the same interests, this was mainly a result of neither of them being able to shut up about this new cool thing they discovered until they could convince the other to also be interested. This is how they found the scene. At the age of 12, Quinn discovered her first alt song: Champagne For My Real Friends and Real Pain For My Sham Friends by Fall Out Boy. Quinn loved this song so much: the guitars, the lyricism, the drum beat that you could just find yourself tapping out with a pencil on your school desk for days. She began to listen to more and more of their music and then began branching out into other bands: My Chemical Romance, Panic at the Disco(though they were not as good after their first album), Sleeping With Sirens and other popular bands from the alt scene. It was almost impossible for Sam to have a conversation with her closest friend without hearing about these artists. So, naturally, she began to listen to them too. Sam immediately became hooked on it, much like her friend, and she gravitated towards the heavier stuff like Pierce the Veil, much to the dismay of her parents.

When the duo began secondary school they struggled to make friends due to their "offputting" interests. This changed however, when they met Felix Crown. One day in their first week, some of the year 8s were forced to come and give a presentation about some of the extracurricular activities the school offered. Felix was the representative for the Tabletop Gaming club and they seemed wholly uninterested in being there, clearly just attempting to get the job done as quickly as possible. At first neither of them found this lanky kid, who had the most unruly hair and the beginnings of a beard growth that really should have been shaved but hadn't been, to be of any interest at all. Until they noticed the pin badge on the lapel of his blazer. A marching skeleton in a military parade suit. The Black Parade logo. It took a while to track them down but after asking around for a few days they learned the kids name and that they usually hung out in the library at social times.

Initially Felix was unreceptive to the two girls attempts to befriend them however after a week of constant pestering they finally gave in and agreed to hang out with them that weekend under the terms that they got to choose where they went. That Sunday the trio entered an abandoned apartment building and sat on the floor sharing music. This was the first time that Sam and Quinn had ever been exposed to small bands and it opened up a whole new world of art and emotion for the two to explore.

A year later, when Sam was in year 8, Felix introduced them to Historic Records, the hottest record store for alt kids, and the Outhouse: the home of London's shittest music. 3 nights a week you could pay 5 pound entry for a night of shit music from a local band and deadly mosh pits. Sam and Quinn both had to lie to their parents about where they were going and after a few months of this they were found out. Their respective parents attempted to ground them but ended up finding open windows in their empty bedrooms.

In their 9th year, Quinn brought up the idea of starting a band and so they and Sam got to work convincing Felix to join them, which was surprisingly easy. Felix was far more enthusiastic than they had expected and they even introduced their new friend Andy to the group as they were in need of a lead guitarist and Andy played.

In the November of her 11th school year, Andy and Samantha found themselves stranded in Brighton following a concert that they had not told their parents about. They didn't consider the logistics of their return trip and as such had to spend the night huddled together beneath Andy's jacket on a bench in the train station. Despite the lengthy groundings they both received (and completely ignored) both of them hold it to this day as one of the coolest days of their lives.

Afterword

I made Piccrews for her family again!! Here are Jiang and Jun!

And here's Dong! My poor boy. :((

[tiernomuffin]

could I ask how you got into nilfruits? I have NO IDEA where everyone found out all the character's names, and i'd love to know because i have a friend that's really into the mvs asdlkfnalsdfaf (thank you in advance if you do answer)

Thank you for the question! Short answer: I loved music videos and naturally started loving it after stumbling upon it on youtube! (I think it was also my sister's fault, who became obsessed some hours after I showed her some videos and told her about Flurry and Welter). As far as I know, most of the character's names come from Mr Nilfruits' twitter! A few of them I learned them from my sister reading his old tweets, then after I started making friends with other fans they taught me the ones I didn't know :)

Looong and not so helpful answer, just because I love talking about stuff like this:

I had recently started to actually get into vocaloid and want to find new songs (in september 2021! I'm a super recent fan :) ) and I specially loved fun and cool music videos (Zanelli, PARILA and Egorock were the ones I would watch the most, several times a day), but after like a month I started feeling Desperate for new stuff to watch (pictured below: a helpless vocaloid fan, completely unaware of the kind of world she just got herself into)

(the playlist has 206 songs right now but I keep forgetting to add new ones I find)

^ pathetic

I actually knew Traffic Jam since like the start of 2021 I think! I remember when the proseka cover came out people were so excited so I decided to hear it and thought "wait omg this is that song that's so good" :) I listened to it often and I had also seen fanart of Flurry and Welter but I was never interested enough to look it up. I also happened to watch a bit of the video while listening to music on YT Music but even then I didn't care enough to actually watch it... I also watched a bit of Ironina before that! :) I remember thinking "oh this looks like the Traffic Jam artstyle" (I hadn't watched it but I often got it recommended on youtube so I had seen the thumbnail several times). I immediately fell in love with Ironina and watched that little bit several times because the characters' personalities were sooo good... Then I never thought about it again

UNTIL one day I was scrolling youtube, absolutely desperate for new cool flower songs as you saw in those screenshots... And Traffic Jam showed up. I remember thinking, "...well. I watched a bit of it and it was nice. And I know this one has lots of fans. Surely this one will do it..... This will fill the hole in my heart......."

It did :)

I watched Traffic Jam, then went into mr fruits' channel and watched Haine & Kleine, found out from the comments that both were from a series, tweeted "that's scary why is there a whole lore", later found Ironina as I was scrolling, thought "ohh my god it's That video"...

Some days after I was talking about vocaloid with a friend and she brought up Nilfruits and Ironina! I think a big part of why I became a fan from the start was because I talked about it with him and saw that others enjoyed the videos as well :)

Then the full proseka Traffic Jam cover came out and I watched it with my sister, I talked to her about the videos and characters, showed her some videos, she got even deeper into it than I was, my friends got into it as well... then some months after I saw that the fans on twitter were super nice and friendly and started talking with them :) (back then I didn't know more than 5 people LOL right now there's so many fans over there, it's great)

...that's it I think! Sorry about writing a whole autobiography LOL I just like sharing this kind of stories so I took the opportunity. Thank you again for the question!