#the other class i've wanted to take for years is an advanced grammar class but its just never fit in my schedule and now it never will

[flockofdoves]

do any of you have experience taking courses targeted towards heritage speakers of a language? what was it like/what was it focused on

i really want to get back into spanish and i'm debating if it would make sense at all to reach out to a professor of a spanish for heritage speakers class if i could take it.

because like. spanish is not my first language and i don't speak it fluently but when i was a child i was almost fluent because my elementary school was dual immersion spanish/english and it was the first language of a lot of my friends growing up. and now that i've had periods of my life with very little exposure to spanish its been helpful whenever i get more exposure to it again through conversation focused classes but i always feel like thats not really what i need most. my problem is that i learned it from a very young age but not quite young enough to have the grammar rules i internalized stick with me subconsciously once i wasnt regularly exposed to it anymore. so now my pronunciation and vocabulary is still rather good but my grammar has deteriorated and every advanced class i take assumes i did all the grammar first and now need to brush up on actually talking so i have no good outlets for reinternalizing the grammar with a more conscious understanding of it. and then my second problem is i talk like a 10 year old because thats when my day to day conversations using the language stopped and i dont know how to talk about like . politics or taxes lol.

but idk if a heritage class assumes you have slightly different problems than i do thatd come from having it as a first language but then not speaking it afterwards or from being totally fluent but just never having formal schooling in it and if there wouldn't be the focus on reinstilling grammar that i'm hoping for

[madl-y]

✧. ┊— you're the one that I like (I can't deny)

3 times Orter Mádl denied his affection for someone, and the one time he was too tired to defend himself.

sypnosis – the other divive visionaries are sick of seeing orter lovesick (despite being amused themselves) so they try to push him to confess. (they, mainly being kaldo and ryoh. lance was there unwillingly)

> no tw! fluff! hopefully not ooc..? beware of grammar and spelling mistakes (sorry..)

> set in post innocent zero! so mild manga spoilers :"DD

> its also been a while since i've started writing fics again! this was kind of an impulse decision ahahaha...!

> i also didn't expect this to be long! sorry :"D

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1 - 3 : EASTON ACADEMY

Orter Mádl never thought he'd see you again.

This is the third time in a row that he, alongside with another person, finished the assigned mission in each class that gives silver coins. Orter glances at the side, where another student slowly walks to the front as the teacher sang praises about them. Of course never forgetting the 'lectures' on how everyone should take inspiration from the two of them. (Frankly, it was getting quite sickening to hear.)

He kept his gaze at the front, while his awareness and attention is still directed at you. You, who always managed to keep up with him in tasks and classes. You, who despite having a weak personal magic, had always excelled at other spells. It was to the point where higher level year spells and advance magic was so easy for you.

You, who Orter thought that the first piece of the silver coin you got was a fluke.

Evidently enough, it wasn't.

Finally, after a lot of unnecessary speeches and praises, Orter and you are able to go back with the rest of the class. It seems most students were willing to run away the moment the teacher announced class was over.

Orter pushed his glasses and sighed. He finally felt the weight of his pocket from the gold coins he acquired recently.

Just from looking at you, Orter knew you felt the weight too.

Its nothing new. Clearly, Easton has a lot of students that were born talented. Easton in itself is a privilege. The best and the talented are here. Orter knew he'll have to face a lot of strong magic users just to carve his path towards becoming a Divine Visionary.

He must become one. Someone needs to maintain order. He needs to punish all those who dare and try go against society. He needs to fulfill his wish—

"Orter, aren't you going?" He blinked. Surprisingly, (or not really) Orter found himself still rooted on the grass. His previous place just a few steps behind him.

Ah, right. Someone called out to him.

That someone gazed up to him. Orter got used to people having to slightly tilt their head up from how tall he is. Though, he never noticed that your height reached his shoulders.

"Orter?" You called out again.

Orter shook his head, trying to keep his mind from wandering elsewhere.

Somehow, this always happens. Its always whenever the two of your interact with each other. Orter gets distracted and gods knows why!

"Sorry, I was just thinking."

It somewhat became a routine from how it always happens when Orter and you interact.

Its always you who's initiating. A simple greeting in the hallway. A simple show of respect to Orter's achievements. A simple saying of "congratulations" whenever Orter finishes first in class quizzes.

And it always follows up with an act of concern to when Orter spaces out.

Because somehow, he always ends up thinking of you. How did you keep up? What did you do? What magic spells were you able to wield so easily, yet you're own personal magic was so weak? Why were you talking to him? Did you want to become a Divine Visionary? Should he expect you as a future enemy? Why do your eyes always look like they're shining under the bright warm sun? Why—

"If you excuse me, I need to go." Orter bowed before walking away. He hasten his pace at the mere sound of your voice that stopped midway to ask something of him.

Why is it that its always you he exerts his effort to think about?

Its irrational. Its... nonsense.

Yet somehow, he couldn't help but think how prettier you are up close.

And its ridiculous to think about.

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2 - 3 : BUREAU OF MAGIC

When Orter thought that you might be working alongside with him, he didn't mean with you as just an assistant.

"You really saved me time, thanks!"

"These notes are so well organized... I should learn from you."

"I'm starting to see why the Divine Visionaries respect you alot."

"Heh..? Not bad from an assistant."

"Be nice, Renatus."

"Shut up, you stuck up hag." Sophina Biblia glared at the foul word.

"You–!"

"Would you like some honey sashimi with me?"

"With all due respect, Kaldo." You blankly stared at the Flame Cane and his abomination of a... food choice. "You're tastes in food and honey combinations are the worst thing ever." Kaldo felt an arrow struck through him. The palm of your hand raised up in front of him indicated that you were rejecting his food taste (like everyone else) and flopped to the floor in pain.

The other two visionaries sighed.

"Orter, here is your schedule for today and tomorrow. One of the chiefs in the Police force would like to schedule a meeting with you. Nerey's still clarifying who's attending though." You handed a folder to Orter while ignoring the bickering behind the two of you.

Orter nodded. "I'll take note of that. Although," He took a quick glance at the cup of coffee on your other hand. "I thought you don't drink coffee anymore?"

"Oh, this is for you."

Orter blinked, before pushing up his glasses. "I don't recall ordering one."

"What? Don't tell me you suddenly dislike coffee?" You leaned in with a teasing grin. Any outsider would think that the Sand Cane looks unamused, but working with Orter for a long time means you've known every expression of his, no matter how stoic.

"I didn't say I dislike coffee." Orter sighed.

"Yeah? Then, here you go." You lightly shoved the cup of coffee towards Orter. It looks so casual, as if its something you've done for a long time.

And it is something you've done for a long time.

Orter accepts the coffee. Gingerly taking care of the cup in his hands. His fingers subtly touch against yours.

Its always the same, and yet Orter still feels that small budding affection in him. (Not that he would show it, of course.)

A coworker calls your name. You immediately follow him down the hallway while giving a quick smile to Orter. He nods briefly as he watches your back retreating further.

Actually, Orter already drank a cup of coffee a while ago. He usually doesn't order a second one. He dislikes the feeling him palpitating in the middle of work. It only happened twice, but he refuses to feel it again.

Still, every cup you give him unknowingly, he takes it.

He licks his lips as the warm liquid travels down his throat. Its sweet.

Its sweeter than he's used to. He prefers it with less sugar, and absolutely refuses to let Kaldo brew his cup of coffee.

He takes one more sip.

Orter doesn't mind as he walks back to his office with the cup of coffee and folder in hand.

The next day, you find a freshly brewed cup of tea on your desk.

You tilt your head questioningly. This is a first that's happened ever.

You look around to see if there were someone nearby. Most of them were walking past and chatting with one another.

It tasted good at least. (After confirming that it wasn't poisoned. You wouldn't know what to feel if there was someone who wants you dead.)

Weeks pass by, and there's been at least two times that it has happened. It happens at random times so you weren't sure what the pattern was.

But clearly, the Divine Visionaries know something. Every time you ask, however, they just smile or sigh while giving you a cryptic answer.

Orter just shrugs and walks away.

"Hey-! I wasn't done talking to you!"

"Well, I am." Is what he always replies.

Soon after, Ryoh slings his arms around Orter and gives him a grin. "So... you like her?"

Orter pauses in his steps, before blankly staring at the smug Light Cane. "Her?"

Kaldo emerged from the sides. "Oh? Never thought you were the type to play dumb." His smile grows at the bristled look Orter directed at him.

"I'm not playing dumb."

"Sure."

"Its just that, she's the one you only prepare tea just right before she arrives at work. You don't do that to anyone else." Orter stares at Ryoh, who just smiles knowingly. Nothing escapes the Light Cane afterall.

"My, my, who thought that I have a rival in finding ways to charm a girl? Me, the greatest creation–" Orter shrugs off the narcissist before he can start his self narration.

Kaldo walks beside Orter, "So, you truly like her?"

Orter sighed, pushing his glasses in habit. "I don't."

Kaldo hummed in thought, "I'm not convinced." The Flame Cane frowned. "You two seem to get along well. No plans of confessing?" He tries to push further for answers, which makes Orter irritated.

"If you're not convinced, that's not my problem." Gold eyes glared sharply. "Again, I don't like her. I'm just giving back favors. I don't know about you, but I don't think gossiping is how a visionary should spend their day."

With that, Orter walks away ignoring the stares from the two.

It's natural to repay favors. You don't need to know Orter was the one brewing the tea on your desk after every coffee you give him.

Kaldo and Ryoh stared before smiling at each other.

"He likes her." Ryoh grinned.

Kaldo nodded in agreement.

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3 - 3 : EASTON ACADEMY

The bell rang indicating that class is finally over. Which also means that you have successfully made it through the whole day while teaching.... enthusiastic students. (The amount of headaches you've received from teaching students the most basic spells. Offense spells, especially.)

You greeted one last goodbye to the class before heading out towards the faculty.

While your main job is a secretary position in the Bureau, you were also recruited to teach at Easton for once a week. Mostly classes that are supplementary for those with borderline failing grades.

"Ah, who is more suitable than the student who excels in different spells regardless of difficulty? Am I right?" Walhberg's voice resonated in your mind.

It's been a year since you've started teaching. Right after the whole Innocent Zero world abomination happened. Can't say that you're surprised that Finn is one of your students, but he's currently doing better than you expected.

"I have to thank you for being patient with me, Sensei!" You recall Finn beaming with joy as he finally got one of the hardest offense spells to master. Safe to stay you were delighted that you had an impact to students.

Right after this class, you usually head straight towards the Bureau to take over the night shift-

A tap in your shoulder made you halt in the middle of the hallway, "Done with class?"

You come face to face with... huh.

"I didn't know you had a meeting here in Easton?" You should know, because you were in charge of handling the Visionaries' schedules. So you should know that Orter has no business here in Easton.

He shrugs, "I don't."

"Well, yeah, you don't. I should know that— I'm your goddamn secretary— but I'm assuming its an emergency?" You tilt your head in confusion. Gold eyes meet yours, his stare seemingly calculating and... hesitant?

"No." Orter replies.

Silence assumes between the two of you. You raised a questioning brow at Orter who just stares blankly at you.

"Then..? Care to elaborate oh divine one?" You add a hint of sarcasm which Orter slightly bristled at. He sends a sharper glance at you while you smile innocently.

Its not as if the two of you haven't acted that way before. Working together somehow brought the two of you closer and your relationship is somewhat casual.

Other words, you can be as annoying as you want and Orter won't shove sand down your throat.

"I don't know, you're the secretary." He raised a challenging brow back. You scoff in lighthearted annoyance while Orter seemed unfazed. That is, if it weren't for the ghost of a smile you managed to capture.

If you can be annoying as you want without consequence, then Orter will do the same.

"Okay but really, why are you here?" You question seriously while inviting Orter to walk beside you towards the faculty. He follows while keeping his gaze ahead.

"Hmm... You're headed towards the Bureau after this?"

"Oh? How did you know?" You ask with slight surprise. Nobody ever bothered to know your schedule, except for the ones that are quite obvious.

Orter sighed and sent you a dry look. "We've worked together for a long time."

A laugh escapes your throat, "Yeah, well, I've only started teaching a year ago. Until now, some forget I have to teach weekly then head towards the Bureau. I swear, its laughable at the same time such a headache. They keep on scheduling things when they shouldn't be." You sighed roughly, wondering if you should start scolding your coworkers more.

"They're idiots." Another laugh escapes your throat at Orter's words. "I'm guessing they're the same ones that accidentally added in my schedule that I'm supposed to be here at Easton." You see the way Orter's usual calm expression turns slightly irritated. Not evident that anyone from outside could see, but enough for someone like you who've known Orter since studying at Easton.

"Oh I see, that's how it is." You stifle another laugh, not wanting to irritate Orter further, but can't help the urge to tease him.

"You say its a headache when they do this, yet you're laughing? How annoying." Orter let out a huff while you grin.

"Maybe its laughable when I see others suffer." You teasingly smirk.

Orter rolled his eyes, yet he can't help but feel a minute affection at the casual interaction between you.

"You haven't answered my question, Orter."

Ah right. He hasn't.

Orter paused in his steps. Causing you two pause beside him too before facing him with a questioning smile.

Again, its the same. As if they're back studying at Easton where Orter always sees that smile of yours. Its always the same, so how come he always felt the same emotions where his stomach and chest swirl at the sight of it. At the sight of you.

He cleared his throat, "I did. I told you they sent me on accident. Messing up my schedule."

"That's true, but you could've gone back immediately." You turn your gaze towards the group of students on the field where they were practicing spells or playing around.

"You caused quite a commotion you know? It was hard to settle down my last class because apparently, a Divine Visionary is on Easton grounds." You cross your arms while a playful pout forms on your lips. "They were more focused on the fact that the Sand Cane was here. That was an hour ago, so care to explain?" You sigh in exhaustion. However, your pout was replaced by a smile the moment you see Orter's subtle shift in his eyes while he looked dejected at being caught. Again, only you could see those minute expressions behind his stoic attitude.

Orter pursed his lips, he didn't expect that his presence would be that of a commotion. To think he was confident in concealing his presence right before your class.

Huh, nothing really escapes you.

"That's.." Orter glanced away while pushing his glasses up. "Its not like it wouldn't hurt to—"

"Sensei."

"—visit you.."

Orter went silent before sending a glance to the person who had the guts to interrupt to people talking-!

His mouth opens in slight surprise at the look of one of the students he was mentoring.

Additionally, Lance looked equally as surprise to see Orter right behind you. He blinked, wondering if he interrupted something. He was pretty sure he heard another voice overlapping with his once he called for you.

"Sensei, Orter-san." Lance bows politely then turns back to you.

He sees in the corner of his eye how Orter pushed his glasses up (a tiny bit harsher) and looked away. Lance didn't have time to think about it as you call for his name.

"Yes, Lance?" You smile at the younger Divine Visionary.

"Ah, Finn wanted me to tell you that he can't go to the faculty after class to bring you his assignment. His other teacher told him to stay after class." Lance handed you a sheet of paper.

"He asked me to deliver it to you instead."

"Oh, thank you Lance! Its nice to see you taking care of Finn. Please tell him he did a great job and not to worry." You smile brightly as you felt another wave of pride for Finn. Sure he was called as the "weakest" in your supplementary class, but he's improving. A lot. Especially under your guidance.

One glance at Finn's paper, and you already knew he's going to have another high score soon enough.

"Also, Professor Claude told me to look for you. Apparently there's an emergency meeting with the faculty."

At the mention of Claude, you couldn't help but grimace. Lance didn't seem fazed at your expression, yet he also can't help sending a pitying glance at you.

Orter just raised his brow.

"And he couldn't tell me himself...?" You mumbled questioningly.

"He said he was busy." Lance replied dryly.

"Sure, he always says that." You muttered once again, not bothering to hide your disdain at your fellow professor.

You perked at the sound of someone clearing his throat. You turn to Orter apologetically. "Sorry, Orter. I forgot you were there."

While Orter didn't seem fazed on the outside, Lance could see the slight twitch on his forehead.

"I think Lance may have accidentally cut you off." You smiled sheepishly.

Lance thought so too.

"What was it you were going to say?"

Orter remained quiet for a moment before sighing. "Its nothing. I was about to head back to the Bureau."

While you nodded understandingly, Orter took the chance to sharply glare at Lance in displeasure. Maybe he should teach this kid a thing or two on how to not interrupt two adults when they're having a conversation.

Lance stared back unfazed.

"Well then, I have to go! Can you do me a favor and tell anyone who asks for me that I have an emergency meeting at the faculty?"

The Sand Cane let out a sigh, displeasure thinly veiled in his expression. Orter, however, nodded while his stoic look returns. "Sure."

"Thank you!" You bowed and smiled gratefully before quickly walking away. "See you around as well, Lance!"

The blue haired nodded as he and Orter stood still while watching your retreating back.

Once its just the two of them, it seems tension has risen again between them. Despite the fact Orter is training Lance, and frequently sees him around from the fact Lance is the newest Visionary.

Still, Orter can't help but stare at Lance who, of course is one of the known people to be stubborn as hell, stares back as well.

Orter is starting to think he should say something to rid of this awkward silence.

"Are you—"

"Did I—"

Both visionaries closed their mouths.

A sense of Déjà vu passes through them.

Orter tries once more.

"Did—"

"Is—"

....If he wasn't annoyed, he'd be very astonished right now.

Lance quickly spoke before Orter could, "Did I interrupt something?"

Orter just sighed heavily, "Sort of." His shoulders dropping as he recalls that very scenario just a moment ago.

"Sorry, I actually didn't see you there." Lance said politely as he could. Rubbing the back of his neck in slight awkwardness.

"Its fine. It wasn't important."

"It looked like it was though." The younger visionary rolled his shoulders as he looks away in thought. Orter raises his brow at the comment while Lance looked as if he remembered something.

"Ah, so she's the one Kaldo-san and Ryoh-san were saying that you liked?" With the way Lance said it with such a straight face, Orter had to process the words that was casually spoken.

"...What?" Orter's face crumbled in irritation.

Lance continued to look to the side in thought, oblivious to the way Orter was seething. "So that's why your schedule changed all of a sudden. I thought there's someone who was going to attack Easton so I was on guard the whole time."

Lance glanced back to Orter. "But Kaldo-san and Ryoh-san told me not to worry about it. It was quite a headache since a lot of our classmates heard news of you in the school grounds. Although, I never thought you were the type to agree to change your schedule for someone you like—" Lance felt a magical aura out of nowhere and began to get his guard up. Ever since Innocent Zero, its like an instinct at this point.

However, he paused as he noticed Orter who looked the same as usual. Straight-faced and stoic, yet Lance could see how tense he was.

"...I see." Orter said lowly.

He began to stare ahead in thought, before bringing out his wand and turn around without glancing at Lance. "Thank you for providing information. However, I would like to clarify everything was false."

One look at Orter, and you'd think he was just as calm and composed. Lance's glance at the hand gripping his wand tightly made him think otherwise.

The other knew to not say anything further, lest he drowns with sand flowing down his throat and out his ass.

"Everything?" But of course, Lance had a stubborn streak. Maybe Mash and Dot were rubbing off him too much.

Orter replied without looking back, "Everything."

"Even the part where they said you like her?" Lance pushed. Call it curiosity, or maybe the fact that someone like Orter indeed has feelings for someone, which makes it so intriguing for Lance to find out more and risk getting buried in sand.

Orter let out a deep exhale, which got Lance tense for a moment, before the Sand Cane started walking again.

"...Yes."

The Adler student watched as his mentor rounded around a corner. He was soon left alone in the hallways.

Lance couldn't help but feel like he caused a murder that's going to happen in the Bureau of Magic.

What's more intriguing, however, was that Lance immediately knew the real answer from the quick moment of silence before Orter replied.

Lance harumphed and went back to his dorms. "...The fact he had to lie even though it was already obvious."

That day, Ryoh and Kaldo struggled to give a lot of excuses to avoid Orter before they were caught.

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FINAL : LIBRARY IN THE BUREAU OF MAGIC

Orter was getting sick of this.

Its been weeks since that awful interaction with Lance and you, yet Orter keeps finding himself victim of Ryoh and Kaldo's infuriating schemes.

What's worse, is that the other visionaries go on about their day. As if there's nothing going on.

Here, Orter is glaring at Ryoh who keeps on convincing him that Orter should get over it and just confess.

Orter would be drowning Ryoh in tons of sands if it weren't for Kaldo backing him up. "I'm getting sick of this." Orter snapped.

"Well, sucks to be you. We're getting sick of it too!" Ryoh grinned while Kaldo laughs as if Orter wasn't getting bombarded with ideas on how to flirt with someone you've like for a long time!

"It was amusing at first, seeing how you'd suddenly act so soft and caring towards her. Yet it began to look painful at how both of you were acting so oblivious." Kaldo sighed as if it was his personal problem, and the fact that Orter can't even hurt them in retaliation, because damn them and they're actually useful for protecting the citizens.

"I don't-!"

"Quit the act! You like her, she likes you back. Now confess!" Ryoh cuts him off while pushing Orter forward to god knows where.

He's actually going to kill these bastards, visionaries or not.

Of course Orter is true to his words, so he brings out his wand and glares at the two. Ryoh just smiled (even though there's a bead of sweat dripping down his forehead at the sight of Orter's wand so close to him) and Kaldo doesn't seem fazed and watches from the side.

"Oi Kaldo! A little help?"

The Flame Cane hummed playfully, "Why, you're the strongest aren't you?"

"But we're in this together!"

"If you two don't stop this, I swear.." Orter gritted his teeth. He has a meeting for goodness sake. He's busy. He's also getting tired of this bullshit of a—

"Oh? What are you three...?" You had to double take the sight in front of you. Ryoh, who's grin faltered at your voice, still has his arms wrapped around Orter's shoulder while leaning his whole body to push Orter forward. Kaldo, who's playful smile drop and is replaced with a look of surprise as he stands from the sides.

Orter on the other hand, blinks and remains still while his expression remains his usual.

That is, if it weren't for the fact that his wand was gripped tightly in his hand and pointed at Ryoh with tiny bits of sand circling around it.

You raise your brow questioningly. "I think sparring between Visionaries is better suited outside and not in the library, no?"

The three blink once before glancing up at the sign above, which shows that indeed, they're in the library.

Just like what Kaldo and Ryoh planned.

Before Orter could protest, he was roughly shoved inside the library. He managed to stop himself from colliding with you.

Curse Ryoh Grantz and his narcissistic attitude because in the end he's still a strong visionary, and Orter prays that all mirrors nearby shall break once he merely appear in front of it.

Kaldo isn't forgotten in Orter's prayers, as he wishes all stocks of honey shall obliterate.

"Well!" Ryoh claps his hands gleefully, unfazed at the menacing glare Orter is sending his way. "Orter's schedule is cleared for the day-"

"It's not-"

"It is?"

"-And he has something he wants to tell you!"

"I don't."

"You do?" You tilt your head at Orter, who inhales deeply. He can feel his patience thinning.

"I don't-"

"He does." Kaldo interjects, and Orter was one step away into murdering the two before the library doors shut.

"Also! Miss secretary, your schedule is also cleared for the day! So spend more time together in the library. I heard you like to read from Kaldo." You can hear the joy in Ryoh's voice despite it being muffled. Which makes you even more confused as you alternatively stare at Orter and back at the doors.

"There are new selections in the library! Especially that one series about the legends of magical creatures." It was Kaldo's voice this time.

"Really?" Orter looked at you in slight disbelief. From how efficient and quick you are to adapt, you sure are easily distracted at what's really happening.

So of course, Orter will use it as an opportunity to—

"Ah, but first listen to what Orter will say." You don't have to see Kaldo to know that he's smiling.

...Orter hopes Kaldo will enjoy having sand in his honey as soon as he dealt with what he's gotten himself too (unwillingly).

It was silent for a moment. This time its a truly awkward one as you and Orter stood still side by side while staring at the entrance of the library.

You blink before giving Orter an embarrassed smile, "So.. I'm guessing you were dragged here against your will?"

Orter sighed tiredly, "Yes."

"I see, but I am curious as to why they had to force you to come here. Apparently, you want to say something?" You questioned, curiosity and slight worry evident in your voice.

Did something happen? Were they hiding something? Or was it just something silly that the visionaries (Ryoh and Kaldo you're guessing) planned and somehow, Orter was on the receiving end.

You watched with slight worry as Orter continued to send daggers towards the entrance of the library. Taking a small step beside him as you examine his expression. Not knowing if he was deliberately choosing to ignore you or not.

"Orter?"

Orter's head jerk up slightly at your voice. Indeed he wasn't choosing to ignore you, but was lost in thought on how to punish his fellow visionaries (mainly the two who shall not be named).

He turned his head towards you, sensing the worry in your tone. An apology for the current situation at hand and reassurance are at the tip of his tongue, ready to reply and.. oh.

For someone with great intuition and reflexes, Orter who prides himself in having great situational awareness— its something he thinks visionaries should have— he wasn't aware you two were this close to each other.

Orter finds himself stunned. A thought he's oh so familiar with immediately floats in his brain every time he coincidentally gets a chance to be close with you.

Again, and again, and again, and again.

Its always the same.

His mind always thinks that you're prettier up close. Not that you weren't pretty if you were far away.

Orter watches your eyes slightly widen at the close proximity you two are in, despite the library being so big. Its as if a spell was cast between you two. Designated to stare at the windows of each other's soul, not wanting to look away.

You think Orter's eyes are pretty. Like sand sparkling with hints of powdered gold that's blending well.

Orter thinks your eyes are glowing. Not physically, but with emotions he himself cannot express. He always finds himself melting at your eyes.

Maybe that's what's getting him soft when he interacts with you. Maybe Ryoh is just mistaken and that anyone you interact with also unwillingly goes soft at the sight you.

Orter blinks once, as he regains his composure. He sighs before looking to the side at the moment before looking back at you.

"Uhm, well, you really don't have to say anything if... you're not ready." You let out a chuckle. "Even though I don't know anything about what you uhh, want to talk about.." A light flush blooming at the tip of your ears and across your cheeks. A rare sight even for the Orter Madl himself.

Orter looks at you closely one last time, as he felt that exact swirling emotion in his chest as he takes in your abashed expression.

He scoffs to himself, earning a confused look from you. Before sighing tiredly. He resigned to his fate that Ryoh and Kaldo put him in.

And maybe, Orter has finally come to terms that he's indeed a liar.

"...Do you have anything else that you need to accomplish in the library?" Orter walks ahead of you swiftly taking the books in your hands as he looked at them interestingly.

Your mouth gapes in both confusion and surprise. Orter turned back to you and raised a brow while holding the books. "Well? I'd rather do something productive even if two... nosy idiots decided to clear my schedule."

Orter had the satisfaction to hear your laugh. "Careful, I might get too used to hearing your composure break. Who knew the all powerful Sand Cane had a foul mouth."

The visionary tilts his head, "Hm? I wasn't the one who turned to a blushing mess at a mere eye contact." He quickly turned away but you managed to catch a small smirk on his lips.

The unexpected teasing made you scoff, this time another light blush spread your cheeks in embarrassment. "I—! That was...!"

Orter feigned ignorance as he levitated a few books to organize them to their correct spot. Still, a light smug expression grew as he watched you from his peripheral vision try to defend yourself.

He took a quick step to the side to avoid the incoming jab to his arm. You glared at him unamused before waving your wand and levitating more books, grinning in triumph as one of them managed to hit him in the head lightly.

Orter stumbled slightly as he grunted at the thud of a book against the back of his head. He glared unamusingly, "That's no way to treat a Visionary."

You shrug, "Yeah well, maybe you should be quicker on your feet."

"I am though."

"Didn't seem like it."

Its been a while since you've engaged in friendly banter with Orter. It reminded you when you two would take quick jabs at each other back in Easton.

Orter stared at you, thinking deeply whether or not if he should go along with what his mind thought of.

"Well? Did that book hit you too hard or what?"

You started to shift in place at Orter's gaze. Not knowing if you should be worried or not if you actually hurt him.

Always one to act without thinking, you lift your hand up towards his head. Hesitating slightly at the way Orter's expression slightly shifted in surprise, before resolving yourself lightly touch his brown locks while feeling around the back of his head where the book hit him.

"Did.. did that actually hurt?"

Orter who finally processed everything, let out an amused hum. He grasps your wrist gently before lowering it back to your side. His eyes, once again, examining your worried gaze.

He really can't believe it.

You thought you managed to hurt him?

Orter let out a light huff.

How cute.

"For someone who's duty is to organize schedules and meet with different kinds of people," Orter finds himself facing his body to you. He grabbed a book on a nearby shelf and raised it in the air, gently hitting your head with the spine of the book. "You still have that quick temper and sharp tongue of yours from way back." He says, and he can't help but let out a more softer tone as he meets your eyes.

Orter sighs (for what it seemed the hundredth time) and places the book back in its proper place. Satisfied at the offended reaction he managed to get from you.

"You-! I was worried and-!"

He watched as you go on and on rambling about how you were genuinely worried. About how he was an annoyance from back then until now.

He sighed, how troublesome.

Orter pushed his glasses up as he faced you. "Really, how irritating." He sighs, "Out of everyone, I had to fall for you."

You paused. Your pointer finger that was in the air that was near jabbing his chest faltered.

Once again, Orter had the satisfaction to see you caught off guard.

"What?" Your heartbeat felt like it was pounding out of your ribcage. If you could hear it, what are the chances Orter couldn't.

Both of you stared at each other, heartbeats beating as one. While silence filled the room, the minds of the two were filled with different thoughts and the sounds of their heartbeats.

Finally, Orter spoke.

"I said," he leaned in closer, bending slightly forwards so his face meets yours directly upfront.

You could see the hint of amusement and affection in his eyes.

"Do you have anything else that you need to accomplish in the library?" Orter questioned.

He smiled in satisfaction at the frozen state you are in before heading off to walk with books in hand.

If Orter had to endure weeks of stress because he was forced to confess, well, you can't blame him for wanting you to experience the same.

He did confess after all. So sue him if Orter wanted a bit of fun messing with you.

He dodges another book thrown at him, a ghost of a smile hidden from the back of his head. Yet, if only you weren't so distracted that you could see the red tints on his ears.

Don't worry though, Orter will do this seriously. He doesn't intend to mess with you for that long.

Not until Ryoh and Kaldo get what they deserve.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

well... I didn't expect this to be THIS long.. why is this so long oml im so sorry aksdlajfklashglshdf hope you enjoyed though :"D this is not proofread

[admirableadmiranda]

Hi! I have an perhaps silly question!

I am currently reading volume 4 & 5 of the official translation. Up till now, I didn't have that many problems with it (mostly because it's been years since I read the fan one and since I don't speak Chinese and English isn't my first language the only thing I noticed at first was that it... read ? Better if that makes sense? It was easier at least.

But I have. Concerns. Does Wei Wuxian truly say fuck (or whatever equivalent there is in swear words) all the time? Because I noticed it in vol 4 and now I keep seeing it! I know he's supposed to be pretty informal, but that + the way he speaks sometimes ("I know I've got a bad rep" ??? "What are you doing on my turf"???) keep taking me out of the story xD idk if it's because I took a break in my rereading and got used to fics modifying his speech patterns... but given that when I'm writing mdzs fics I usually make sure to... idk adapt the speech patterns so they're not too modern sounding? Am I overthinking this? Should I let wwx say fuck all the time?? XD

Hope this doesn't bother you and thank you in advance for your answer!!

Hi! Hello again! How’s it going?

So full disclosure I have not read the official translation in full yet, but uhh… yeah I’ve seen more than enough of Suika’s prose to know that there’s something off about the way she translates WWX that just eliminates an important element of his character.

For what you’re saying between ExR and Suika’s translations with Suika being easier to read, I get that. ExR has a lot of trouble with tenses and plenty of times they use a word that’s not quite what they actually want it to mean, so it takes more work to read what they intend to say over what the text says, but Suika’s text only really is improved by being cleaned up, @kimalysong and @jiangwanyinscatmom have a lot of posts on text either vastly altered from the intent or lines just flat out missing, if you’re curious about going down the rabbit hole of the official translation.

Now WWX does swear on occasion, especially when he’s younger and using the rougher Yunmeng dialect, but the other lines you’ve quoted tend to have Suika’s usual problem of making lower class characters speak roughly and often with southern accents regardless of how they sound in Chinese or with consideration to the character at hand. Wei Wuxian has an incredible grasp of language and literally switches linguistic registers depending on who he’s talking to and what the situation is and given some of his lines that I’ve seen in the official translation compared to stuff in exr or that my friend has translated for me, it seems like Suika has flattened all of that out in favor of her usual style of handling lower class characters.

I think you’re noticing it because it’s at odds with everyone else’s translations and grasp of WWX. While ExR has its own troubles with grammar at times, you can still see the strength in his language usage, to say nothing of Fanyiyi and Taming Wangxian’s translations which are much more solid on that front(@mxtxfanatic has posts comparing the language uses between exr, Fanyiyi and Taming Wangxian if you’re curious) and really lay out a well spoken character who can adjust his speech as needed (and drop the occasional precision fuck strike when needed).

I am not impressed by Suika’s way of translating characters speech especially as it pertains to Wei Wuxian, and I think you’re right to say that it feels weird. Don’t follow her style of speech, continue to write a WWX who absolutely understands the tangled web of a world he lives in and adjusts his language for the person at hand consistently.

[indigostudies]

goals for 2024

2023 has been a very tumultuous year for me, for a variety of real-world reasons, and i wasn't able to reach a lot of my goals. in light of that, i want to list out the goals i have for 2024 and how i plan on reaching them as a way to keep myself responsible.

first of all, i have a number of language goals, where i would like to make advances in a variety of languages:

- i want to reach an hsk 6 level with my reading and writing. in order to reach this goal, i plan on reading two articles per day on dot, and two articles per week from TCB, and add terms i don't recognise to my TOFU deck, as well as write down example sentences using these vocab/grammar patterns, and go over them with my tutor. i also want to read the entirety of a cnovel in the original chinese. - i want to reach a basic level in korean and kazakh. in order to do this, i plan on completing the mango korean course, and the first two units on the kazakh course. i also plan on completing through the topik 2/a2 level on lingory for korean. - i want to work through the kurmanji textbook i've been using, and look for ways to continue learning on a more formal level, such as through online courses.

additionally, i have some other academic goals for uni i'd like to meet:

- i'd like to keep all my grades at or above 90% for my classes going forward. my biggest obstacle to this in 2023 was that i didn't want to get up early and actually go to class, instead watching the lectures afterwards from the recordings, and this made it harder for me to absorb information (since i usually take notes by hand while in class), as well as reduced my participation grade in that class. in order to do this, i plan on giving myself an 11:00 hard bedtime, at which point i have to turn off all my devices and lay down and at least try to go to sleep. also, i've chosen classes that are scheduled for later on in the day in the winter quarter, which should help with this. - i want to start utilising office hours and study aids more frequently. i've occasionally used office hours, but i've never taken advantage of study aids, and while i don't think i necessarily need them to keep my grades up, i want to have time to go over class material and make it stick more firmly in my mind.

i also have some miscellaneous goals:

- i want to look for a penpal programme aimed towards international penpal connections, specifically for a chinese penpal, because one of the things i need to do more is actually write in chinese by hand to make characters stick in my muscle memory, rather than just relying on my computer/phone to choose the right character while writing. - i want to write at least 20k of original fiction, and i'd like to plan out a novel at least at an outline level even if i don't manage to write it. - i want to be more consistent about posting language/uni updates on tumblr, as a way to keep myself accountable for being more purposeful in my studies. - i want to find student/interest clubs that are relevant to me and join them, and i'd like to be more involved with events and activities on campus.

that's everything i can think of! i hope that in 2024 i'll be able to meet these goals :)

[asyastudieskorean]

9/20/2023 — Hello, studying world. Today I start my journey of learning Korean with my first university Korean class (online). We didn't have any work on the first day, so all I did was read the syllabus (the most basic, non-informative syllabus I've ever read, ha), set up my new desk space, and updated my student bio on Canvas. I haven't been a college student for about 3 years, so it felt like I accomplished a lot. When the readings and assignments start coming in, I'm sure reality will hit.

I've always wanted to learn Korean, and my goal is to reach a near-fluent level, but I know it'll be hard, especially with my full-time work priorities. Eventually, being able to teach and work in translation is my goal. FYI, Chinese, Thai, and Japanese are on my list, too, but I'll be realistic and focus on one language for the foreseeable future.

Last week, as it so happens, I had to move from my family and childhood home, and I am lacking in the positivity department rn, so I think having a place to chronicle my studies and the progress I make will be good for me. I tend to start a new blog on here when I'm having a hard time, and it helps.

So, the plan is to take two full academic years of Korean (that's 3 quarters per year at my university). That's just how much Korean the school offers. I graduated in 2020 from this same university with a BA in English with a focus on professional and creative writing, and I really enjoyed the overall experience studying here.

I spent a whole lot of time obsessing over grammar, reading new and old literature, trying to understand poetry, and just enjoying the inner peace I felt when writing fiction. It was maybe my most happy time because I had no other real responsibilities or worries besides school. All I did was read and write.

Anyhow, fast forward to now, after pondering different language learning options (which are limited in my area), I decided to take my Korean classes at the university level because the classes will show up on my official university transcripts, and I imagine that will be best when I apply for future Korean-related jobs. I am also hoping that by taking university-level language classes, they will have some sort of superior level of... intensity? accuracy? efficiency? Something like that. Granted, this route isn't the best for my finances, as there is no aid for non-matriculated post-grads, and the cost of a single class is quite ridiculous. But alas, here I am, with an empty wallet and hope in my eyes.

Upon reading the syllabus today, which could basically be summarized as "TBD," I realized the textbook I bought, the textbook I waited over a week for, the one listed on the online course materials list, is, in fact, not the correct textbook.

And, icing on the bitter cake, the correct textbook appears to be a rare Pokémon that isn't available anywhere except the dark corners of eBay, where shipping will take at least 2 weeks. Like how did other students get this? Did they order it two months in advance? Meanwhile, I have my first assignments and readings due Monday.

I quite literally just sent an email to my professor and asked what I should do, so we'll see what she says, but I really wasn't hoping to be that one student, emailing the professor about an issue on day 1.

Since this is my first post here, here also is a tiny bit about me:

My name is Asya ("Asia"), and I'm a 24-year-old English grad based in Washington; no, not the one followed by DC, but the state with a lot of rain and trees. Twilight? Starbucks? Amazon? Yes, that one.

Since graduating in 2020, I've been a freelance editor and writer. I'm taking Korean both for passion and for work purposes, and I really should have started sooner. But I guess we're all on our own timelines.

I've been on Tumblr for a long, long time, but I've never been part of the studyblr sector. I'm glad to be here. :)

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

I've been listless for too long, wasting my life by following the path of least resistance, but I've decided to take initiative and go back to school to get a degree that isn't worth less than the cardstock it's printed on.

Math was my passion growing up. It was fun and exciting to me, like solving a puzzle, and I wanted to be an unspecified brand of Scientist™ someday; my mom wanted me to be a mechanical engineer like my grampa. She decided my natural aptitude for math wasn't fast enough for her liking, so she skipped me ahead from algebra straight to AP calculus without geometry or trigonometry. I was completely out of my element, miles behind every other student, so she made me take two year-long homeschool courses in one month to help me catch up before I flunked out. It didn't help, it just made my existing course load even harder. I was burned out and I barely coasted by with a C- and a newfound hatred of math.

I never managed to grok calculus, and promptly forgot everything about it the second I graduated. When I learned that the major my mom wanted me to take in college would require more calculus and physics, I said fuck that and settled for something easy. I bounced around for my first two years, got my AA, and finally chose to pursue English (the greatest mistake of my life) because I had vague ideas of becoming an author, but my university had a shitty English department that didn't teach me anything. All they offered were glorified high school courses, "read a book, write an essay, take a multiple choice test, repeat. Congratulations you're an English major." I never learned grammar or style, I still don't know how to punctuate certain clauses, I completely wasted my final two years taking the most bare bones credits I needed to get a degree with no real goal after graduating. I went to college because it was expected of me, but my plan evaporated in high school because my mom pushed me too hard and even though I passed all my classes I feel like I failed miserably.

I want to go back. I want to retake the high school math I missed in my own time then reapply to my alma mater for another bachelor's program. I want to go into astronomy/astrophysics because all the science classes I took as electives in school were as fun and exciting as I'd hoped they would be, and I remembered that I loved to learn. I want to go back and try again with a real goal this time, to major in astrophysics so I could get a job, a career, doing what I'm good at and enjoy. It's not going to be easy, but I've been taking it easy my entire adult life and I'm trapped in my home town working as a cashier at a side-of-the-highway tourist trap motel at 26. I need to apply myself. I need to live up to the potential I had in high school. I need to go to the moon in this d'cade and do the otha things, not because they are easy, but because they are hahd!

Astronomy and earth/space science were my favorite classes in college, but I never took any beyond the 1000 level, and the suggested semester plan for a BS in astrophysics requires advanced 3000 and 4000 level calc, physics, mechanics, quantum mechanics, electromagnetism, optics, stats, and differential equations to name a few, so I have my work cut out for me. I need to buy some textbooks this summer and relearn prerequisite math before I can even hope to jump into this field. I'm not gonna enjoy it, it's not gonna be fun and exciting all the way, I'm gonna wanna give up, but I need to prove that I'm capable. I need to push myself to do what I don't want to do. I don't need to be a savant, I just need to pass. Cs get degrees. My little sisters are in college now, and both of them are taking a relaxed schedule, part time credits, only a couple classes per semester, however long it takes. The full astrophysics major requires 120 credits, but only 62 are critical, the other 58 are gen ed, and I already have my BA so I can skip those. 62 credits is 2 years of full time work (year and a half if I take a summer semester, though that's four months of work in half the time, so I'd once again risk burnout), but I could bang it out as a part-timer in 3 or 4 years. Hell, if I went back full time I could take a bunch of fun gen ed classes for a minor, or even a double major, but I'm getting WAY ahead of myself.

Start small.

I need to brush up on

Algebra 1

Geometry

Algebra 2

Trigonometry/Pre-Calc

Calculus

It's too late to apply for fall semester this year, and I wouldn't want to anyway because 5 high school math classes are a lot to get through in 3 months. They don't allow spring applications either, so the earliest I could start is fall 2024, 10 years after I started college in the first place. That gives me over a year to master the maths I missed. That's plenty of time! I'm fairly competent in algebra and geometry, so I'd only need to relearn trig and calc.

This is doable.

It's never too late to start over.

[vampalaurels]

I do this with my students as well! I am an ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher at a private academy, meaning most of the time there is no consistent age range between my students. I've had groups made up entirely of teenagers, or a mix of teenagers and young adults, and this year I taught my first Level 1 group (I usually take over the advanced levels but there wasn't anyone available at the time so they gave it to me.)

There were 3 people in the group: a middle aged lady who wanted to speedrun the course because she might be moving to the US with her son, and 23 yo radio host, and a 17 yo highschool graduate. Technically, all adults as far as education goes.

When they started the course, the 17 yo - let's call her Dory - barely participated at all. Sarah, the mom doing the speedrun, was the most talkative, not because she was better or knew more english, but because she didn't care if she made mistakes or not. Sam, the radio host, sat squarely in the middle. Thankfully, they got on great amongst themselves and with me from the start, so that was a big plus.

What finally got Dory out of her shell was, surprisingly, the chance to point out the mistakes the others were making. Not in a malicious way, mind you. It's a common technique when teaching languages. You'll introduce sentences or a text and you'll ask the students to point out grammar mistakes and correct them. Dory got really good at these exercises, and she started doing it with her classmates. And it was great! She was opening up! Being more confident! And Sarah and Sam actually felt better when Dory corrected them than when I did! It created this feedback loop that gave them all a lot of support and help, particularly out of the classroom when they needed to practice on their own.

Encouraging that each of them try and help the others in ways that came easier/more natural to them did wonders for the entire group. Sarah, being the most talkative, would actually mock argue with me for laughs, giving the others a chance to join into the conversation. Sam knew a bunch of idioms that she would try and include in her writing exercises, and through that the others learned them as well. And when someone made a mistake, the entire group took it as an opportunity to learn.

One of the simplest tricks I have that has turned out to be extremely effective is using interactive online worksheets. The students can fill them in on the computer and once they are done they can click a button and the worksheet will grade itself, showing the score as a big red number on top and every correct answer will be highlighted in green. Let me tell you, the joy felt when my students see that huge red 10/10 at the top of the sheet is exactly the same no matter the age. And it's even greater when they complete worksheets as a group, everyone pitching in to get the answers right. Every little bit of positive feedback works actual wonders with even the most tired, stressed or confused students.

Another thing I try to do is shape my classes around the students' interests. This is harder to do with larger groups, but even then some common ground can be found. Games are great for this. Nothing gets a room full of bored teenagers going like a game of Uno Jenga, it'd have them yelling, taunting each other, and joking IN ENGLISH in absolutely no time. And when you join them and show them that you like the things they like and that you encourage their interests, the difference is tangible. The students are much more open, abandon the fear of making mistakes, and actually inject passion into the learning process.

Recently I had a student that, when asked what he was planning to do his final presentation about, told me he came from a family of ranchers and wanted to talk about the relationship between the agricultural industry in our country and the several species of large cats that inhabit those same areas. I told him that this was a subject I knew absolutely nothing about, and that I was very excited to watch his presentation and learn something new! The way his face lit up, man, it was incredible.

This 13 yo boy came to class on the last day carrying BOOKS on the subject, a REAL JAGUAR SKULL, and an ABSOLUTE BANGER of a presentation. Everyone was blown away.

All it took was a little bit of interest, encouragement, and positive feedback

consider: teenagers aren’t apathetic about everything they’re just used to you shitting all over whatever they show excitement about

[mitigatingacademics]

{10.01.23}

A very productive evening.

Won the Diamond Tournament.

French is coming along, at a intermediate level of competency, as it has been for almost as long as I can remember.

One of these days I will go back and actually learn the Dutch grammar that goes with the Dutch vocabulary.

I started learning Dutch because I completely burnt out on LSAT prep and my brain demanded to be learning something or, alternatively, suffer a complete collapse of uselessness.

(It was a whole thing.)

In the meantime, where slapdash French grammar won't suffice (I have YEARS of translation training with specific noun/adjective placements...we're not going to stop now), I'll just have to muddle through with the paid version of Duolingo that allows you to make all the mistakes without requiring you to take a time out to reflect on the travesty of your actions.

More Meaningful Productivity:

Completed LSAT Trainer Lesson 22

This was a Reading Comprehension lesson. Notably, the first in this book. It went really well. I like the approach here and feel like it might prove more helpful than other methods I've attempted. Looking forward to future lessons.

NLRB v. Jones & Laughlin Steel Corp. (1937) -- Reading Outline

United States v. Darby (1941) -- Reading Outline

I am reminded by these cases, about the concept of "plenary powers," and the first time I ever recall hearing said term being Liz speaking at a J6 Committee Hearing.

Intuitively feeling the importance of her words, wanting to fully understand, I looked it up.

If that wasn't the exact moment that I fell in love with both her AND Constitutional Law, it was a missed opportunity.

(It also concerns me about the state of education that I could have a college degree as well as an entire Master's degree and not know what a plenary power was -- but I haven't had a civics lesson since 7th grade. 🤷🏻‍♀️I vividly remember dropping APUSH because, at the time, it was World History that I'd really enjoyed and wanted more of. Psychology was the only advanced placement course I wasted time on Senior year. I didn't take the test...I don't know anyone that did. I did well in the class, but an official evaluation was a different story. Public schools are a mess. 🤦🏻‍♀️)

Currently Reading:

Law Man: Memoir of a Jailhouse Lawyer by Shon Hopwood

It's free on Kindle Unlimited. We got here because of the Plea Bargin book. The author of that book did nothing at all to endear this man to her readers. She made a valiant effort, but he's a pal of Jared Kushner and a member of the Federalist Society; it's a hard sell.

I wasn't expecting much. I was fairly certain I would end up rage!quitting before it was even worth mentioning.

Would love to know how much of it is ghostwritten...because, though it's still early (I'm in chapter 4), the story telling is actually very, very good.

How To Be Sort Of Happy In Law School by Kathryne M. Young

Author seems to think having studied Sociology along with Law gives her a unique and superior perspective.

I, too, have a degree in Sociology. It basically requires acceptance of reality/your surroundings, how we got here and how it perpetuates. It doesn't make you special.

I'm trying not to be too judgy. I really am. I've only gotten through the introduction and the first chapter...but I'm already feeling like, despite insistence that said book is for anyone with an interest in legal education, a non-traditional, part-time law student hopeful is just not the audience she's writing for.

For what it's worth, I do appreciate the research she's done and is reporting on. Survey is solid (save for the potential non-traditional gap). Sociological methods on point.

[gwendolynlerman]

hi, do you how any idea how to relearn a language? well, not exactly relearn since i've never actually known it fluently; i have really decent but receptive knowledge of french. i know the meaning of most words and i can read pretty much everything but i don't really know any grammar and also i "can't" really say anything. like, i'd understand a lot but if i were about to say it i wouldn't know how to. nonetheless apps like duolingo are too easy for me, i rarely make mistakes. what can i do? ty!

Hi!

To me, it sounds like we have a similar “problem”, because my knowledge of Russian resembles what you wrote about French. I have self-studied it for around 3 years, so I have a decent amount of vocabulary and I can understand most written Russian, but my oral skills (listening and speaking) are basically non-existent and my grammar is also not very good.

I’m currently taking an A2.1 course in college, so my first recommendation would be to do a comprehensive language placement test that tests all four skills (listening, reading, speaking, and writing) to find out where you’re exactly at.

Then, ideally you should work with a tutor to reinforce the areas you’re weaker in, in your case, speaking and grammar. If this is not possible, you could try enrolling in a course, but bear in mind that your progress will be slower, because the other students might have different issues and/or a different level than you do in some skills. This is an issue I’m having right now: my other fellow students are either more advanced than me because they grew up in a Russian-speaking household so their oral skills are great, or almost complete beginners, so I sometimes get bored when the teacher explains really basic concepts to them.

If taking regular classes is too expensive or inconvenient for you, you can always use apps or websites. What I was doing before taking this course was using Mango Languages, which covers all four skills. You can choose any course for whichever level you. I don’t exactly know what the free version offers compared to the premium one, but I’m sure you can find the premium app for free somewhere on the Internet.

Another amazing resource is Lawless French, which offers free grammar explanations with examples for levels A0 to C1 and quizzes to test each individual area. I believe there is a placement test after you register which recommends what level you should take, but you can also choose whichever level you want, so maybe you could skip the most basic lessons and go directly to those that are the most problematic for you. The downside is that there are no listening, writing or speaking activities and that the free version only includes 10 quizzes a month. To complement it, you could do a language tandem using iTalki, Tandem or any other app. In this way, you teach someone a language you are fluent in and in exchange they can teach you French.

I hope this was useful!

Don’t hesitate to contact me if you want more advice or have any doubt :)

[lady-griffin]

As a fanfiction writer, I've noticed that one of the hardest things personally for me to pin down is an accurate guess regarding Hamefura's time period in relation to our world which makes it harder to decide certain aspects of a fic if it wants to get into world building (and have Katarina start and agricultural revolution). I've always appreciated the analysis work you do for Hamefura and was wondering if you had any guesses?

I would say there is no exact parallel to one of our time periods. Largely because there is a clear mix of concepts and aesthetics from older periods to later periods and even some modern ideas thrown in there.

That being said I think I found a decent enough match.

While Katarina (and many fans) describe it as a medieval setting, it is definitely not that. I would put the time period of Hamefura overall in the 18th and 19th centuries. 1700s & 1800s.

This is based off a few things.

Fashion

While not a clear comparison, the aesthetics of the different fashion trends of these two centuries are the closest to Hamefura’s own fashion styles - for the guys and gals.  

It’s not perfect

Some of the characters’ fashions are clearly just a general idea of “old-timey” fashion. And other characters’ fashion are more modern (or seem to be inspire by some later periods) – Alan, Maria, Sirius, Duchess Claes, and Katarina’s Merchant’s daughter outfit for example.

Alan’s style of clothing is extremely modern in concept.  So, it’s clearly a mix-and-match situation when it comes to fashion.

--

Books/Bookstores

Books are commonly and widely available. Not just for the rich, like Sophia and Katarina. We know this because there doesn’t seem to be much of an issue (or any) for Katarina’s maids and or Maria to gain access to books. As a maid in the Claes estate was the one who introduced romance novels to Katarina in the first place.

While again, not exact, the kind of reading and books we see in Hamefura works with 18th/19th century.  

Serialized fiction (and books in general) surged in popularity during Britain's Victorian era (1837-1901), due to a combination of the rise of literacy, technological advances in printing, and improved economics of distribution.

Also, while romance stories are far from anything new (have been around since stories) – the concept of marrying for love (despite social class) was an idea that was popular in fiction around the the time period – for example, being Pride and Prejudice (1813).

The book-stores we see in Hamefura (very briefly) are very similar to, well, modern book stores.

James Lackington (1746-1815) and his once-famous London bookshop, The Temple of the Muses, basically “invented” modern-day bookselling as we know it. During his time James completely revolutionized the concept of bookselling in the late 18th century. And considering the rise in books and literacy, other book-shops began to follow.

--

Sweets/Bake Shops

We know that high quality pastries/sweets can be bought at stores (students buy them for Student Council). 

I think this one is the least exact, as Patisseries have been around for some time, there is some parallel. 

 Marie-Antoine Carême (1784-1833) is considered to be one of the early practitioners of “modern Patisseries” (what we really see in Hamefura) and fine-dining, though he’s more known for Grande Cuisine.

His elaborate creations graced the windows of his Paris patisserie shop.

This is what we see in Hamefura.

So while the history is far from an exact match, the kind of stores that already existed and started to exist during this time are very similar from what the stores that we see in Hamefura, in regards to sweets 

--

Love – Marriages of Love

In the 5th Light Novel, we learn that nobles falling in love and choosing to get married to one another (not arranged) is a concept that is becoming more and more popular. Particularly among the younger nobles around Katarina’s age.

As Katarina witnesses several couples being romantic to one another, who are not currently engaged to one another or not in arranged marriages.

The ideal of love as a primary reason for marriage began to spread in the late 18th century and early 19th century, partly due to the French and American revolutions - Enlightenment thinkers in this era promoted the right to personal happiness. And going back to books, this might be another reason p why love stories became so popular among the public as literacy and book technology grew in this time.

So, while Arrange marriages certainly exist in Hamefura (obviously) – the importance of love also matters.

Take Geordo and Katarina’s arranged marriage, for instance. Despite them being 8, the two of them made the match together. It wasn’t arranged by the King or Katarina’s parents in the traditional sense of an arranged marriage.

Sure, Luigi Claes set up a meeting with Geordo for Katarina (a match-making meeting) and we know there was pressure coming down on Geordo to get a fiancé (due to his older brothers being engaged), but still the decision was largely between Katarina and Geordo.

Geordo proposed and Katarina accepted.

Now on the other hand, while never stated. it seems likely Geordo had to get the King’s Approval before he proposed and Katarina’s parents also had to agree to the match. But again, their engagement is still rather unique, in that it wasn’t decided by their parents and they had no say in the matter at all.

Now on the other hand, the arranged marriage for Alan and Mary seems like it was largely set up by their parents, so the two of them have a much more traditional arrangement. Now that might just come down to Geordo being far more independent than Alan is, when it comes to his person affairs.

We we know Luigi Claes (from the novels) sent a letter to Geordo asking for him to meet with Katarina, while he probably also sent it to the king as well – we are never told that explicitly, so we can’t say for sure.

But to the main point, overall, the concept of marrying someone for love is clearly an idea that is growing in popularity in the world of Hamefura.

In Fortune Lover, Geordo wants to break off his engagement to Katarina when he falls in love with Maria. If Maria is successful in Alan’s route, Mary breaks of their engagement so the two can be together.

In the current timeline, Alan tries to break off the engagement with Mary, because he’s not in love with her.

Geordo, clearly wants Katarina to love him back and not just marry him because she has too.

Nicol’s parents want him (and Sophia) to fall in love and marry for love.  

Geordo, Alan, and Nicol in Fortune Lover were all able to end up with Maria with no problem, for the most part.  

Now, because there is a dual system of power and status (based on nobility and magic) – Maria being a Light Weilder and a powerful one at, automatically raises her profile to being more than an acceptable marriage partner for a noble (my belief).

So, the idea of being with someone for love is more common for Katarina and her peers than their parents’ generation.

Luigi and Miridiana’s father arranged the marriage between the two – Though Luigi did fall in love with her before the marriage, but because the marriage wasn’t decided by the two of them along nor did they have much of a relationship – their marriage suffered from a lot of miscommunication.

Dan and Radea(?) Ascart, the parents of Nicol and Sophia, married for love. Though we learn we learn in the 5th novel that Radea was already engaged to another man and Dan made a deal with her father – basically if he could become the prime minister, he would be allowed to marry her.

While not like modern times, marrying for love is a concept that is growing and becoming more of the norm in the world of Hamefura.

--

Technology

Due to the character of Larna Smith, technology (based on magic) in Hamefura is getting quite the revolution.

One of her inventions, using Wind Magic, is a phone.

Italian innovator Antonio Meucci is credited with inventing the first basic phone in 1849, while Alexander Graham was the first US Patent for the device in 1876.

-

Based on the comic in the 6th Light Novel, we know Nicol’s most treasure possession is a Fountain Pen his father gave him.

And given the fact that we see Katarina writing with a quill, the two types of writing utensils existing with one another was happening in the 18th and 19th centuries.

Now Fountain Pens, have a longer history than that. But basically, due to them not being the most stable or consistent way of writing, it seems like in Western Societies (Hamefura), that them being coming commonplace took over a period of time, as the technology improved bit by bit.

Nicol’s Fountain Pen seems to be an excellent one that works great. But we can assume that since Dan Ascart is an Earl and Prime Minister, he has more access to such technology than other people.

--

Conclusion

I was surprised that a lot of what we see in Hamefura, actually does match or more accurately fit within the general existence of these two centuries nicely. Not always an exact match, but the overall ideas and changes in the 18th and 19th century are a nice parallel to what we see in Hamefura.

It’s a broad span of time (around 200 years), but that’s my thinking.

In full disclosure, I did some light research on the matter – so I apologize for any historical mistakes (and grammar/spelling). 

To be clear, I don’t think Hamefura fitting in the 18th-19th centuries (particularly in Western Culture) was really intentional on the Author’s Part.

We see that the general style of dress in Hamefura, is popular amongst many manga/anime/Mahwha that have an aristocratic setting. And just a lot of general world-building in such stories, basically take a loose idea form these two time periods, rather than be historically based on them. 

And since Fortune Lover is a love game and Hamefura is a romantic-comedy, love would of course be of upmost importance despite the restricted aristocratic status. And falling in love despite said restrictions is definitely a more prevalent modern idea.

So, it’s all probably unintentional. I mean, they probably were inspired by the these two centuries, but more in a general idea of their story-world, rather than a specific time-period setting.  But still it’s a nice overall fit.

Also, the 18th-19th Century setting works rather nicely with your idea of Katarina starting an Agriculture Revolution.

 Thanks for the question Anon! I hope this helped you out!

[allthingslinguistic]

One of the first things I remember using the internet for, because of the very specific kind of nerd I am, was for looking up information about how french grammar worked, because I'd been learning french in school for several years and it was a "learn by doing" curriculum that literally didn't even tell me that "je suis" and "tu es" and "nous sommes" are all different forms of the SAME VERB, yeah it's "to be" and it's super irregular and guess what I did not figure this out from mere exposure I needed to have a chart with all of them in it!

But the idea that I could just supplement a class I was taking with information external to the class that presented it differently or filled in the gaps, that I could even perceive that there were gaps, this took a while to click even for something like a language where I knew that it had to be possible to know it better because, hey, at least I had a sense of what I could do in English already. (+1 to trying to look up the literal meaning of "fuck" in several dictionaries and just not finding it though.)

And I was fortunate that I had enough of the right keywords and was looking for an uncontroversial topic that was already widely explained, even at the time. ("French grammar" was probably what I started searching, I do remember ending up on ask.com which may or may not have still been called Ask Jeeves at the time, a forerunner to Google that provided some its own information in a structured format).

By comparison, when I was trying to find more information about linguistics as a teenage linguistics enthusiast, I did look online and found a few things (shoutout to omniglot, which has been around since 1998), but there also was just...so much less internet then. Wikipedia didn't exist yet! And for its first few years it didn't have that much on it! I had more success with libraries and with pestering the staff at used bookstores in case something else had come in that might be relevant to me. One of them would set things aside for me, it was great! Of course, the information in them was sometimes decades out of date and I also ended up with some academic monographs that were FAR too advanced for me, but the idea of getting a bookstore to special order a book for me? I had never even heard of the idea. We also don't appreciate how hard it was to find out a) which books on a topic you wanted existed and b) where to get them, before you could search for and order books on the internet. Those lists of other books by the same author that appear inside books sometimes? I used the heck out of those.

People these days tell me they found All Things Linguistic or Lingthusiasm by just searching for "linguistics blog" or "linguistics podcast" and on the one hand I'm like oh great good I'm super happy for you and on the other hand it is so extremely far from my experience that you could just...do a search and get hours and hours of free posts or audio material at a beginner level. I remember when wikipedia and blogs and podcasts were invented and I'm not even that old. Like the idea that ordinary people who know a thing are just putting information about that thing online for other people to learn and they don't have to go through a publishing system that approves just a handful of ling books a year so I'm searching used bookstores for ones that came out decades ago because I've read all the current ones!

And that's still people who've somehow encountered the word linguistics already, right? Knowing which concepts exist at all is also a huge part. So on the one hand, you can get exposed to keywords by coming across a post on your feed (hi, this post about info literacy has now exposed you to "linguistics" if you hadn't seen it already) but also, if you want to look something up and you don't already know what it's called, or you've only been exposed to the set of keywords that people are using for intolerant versions or conspiracy theories or whatever, then "go look it up" or "educate yourself" can end up sending you further down the rabbit hole of misinformation. Like, algorithms and automated content policies very much have their downsides but before that we had a handful of humans making decisions about what kind of content they thought was suitable for the mass market.

I remember wanting to listen to music in other languages so I went to the CD shop and bought one of the four (4) French CDs in the "other languages" section. Like, that's what my options were. And French was comparatively many relative to any other languages because Canada. Whereas last month one of my random playlists happened to populate with a very catchy pop song in Polish, a language I've never particularly even sought out, and I was able to just casually look up the artist and google translate the lyrics. Do you have any idea how much time I spent with French CD case lyric booklets and my French-English dictionary and generally a word or two per song would not be in my dictionary because it was pretty small so I would just not know what it meant for years!

What I'm saying is even if you were trying really hard to educate yourself on a topic that wasn't even controversial or especially obscure, it used to be really challenging to even just nerd out about a special interest before the internet. When the barriers were higher? Welp.

Gen Z is awesome and generational fighting is bad, but I do sometimes talk to Gen Z folks and I’m like… oh… you cannot comprehend before the internet.

Like activists have been screaming variations on “educate yourself!” for as long as I’ve been alive and probably longer, but like… actually doing so? Used to be harder?

And anger at previous generations for not being good enough is nothing new. I remember being a kid and being horrified to learn how recent desegregation had been and that my parents and grandparents had been alive for it. Asking if they protested or anything and my mom being like “I was a child” and my grandma being like “well, no, I wasn’t into politics” but I was a child when I asked so that didn’t feel like much of an excuse from my mother at the time and my grandmother’s excuse certainly didn’t hold water and I remember vowing not to be like that.

So kids today looking at adults and our constant past failures and being like “How could you not have known better? Why didn’t you DO better?” are part of a long tradition of kids being horrified by their history, nothing new, and also completely justified and correct. That moral outrage is good.

But I was talking to a kid recently about the military and he was talking about how he’d never be so stupid to join that imperialist oppressive terrorist organization and I was like, “Wait, do you think everyone who has ever joined the military was stupid or evil?” and he was like, well maybe not in World War 2, but otherwise? Yeah.

And I was like, what about a lack of education? A lack of money? The exploitation of the lower classes? And he was like, well, yeah, but that’s not an excuse, because you can always educate yourself before making those choices.

And I was like, how? Are you supposed to educate yourself?

And he was like, well, duh, research? Look it up!

And I was like, and how do you do that?

And he was like, start with google! It’s not that hard!

And I was like, my friend. My kid. Google wasn’t around when my father joined the military.

Then go to the library! The library in the small rural military town my father grew up in? Yeah, uh, it wasn’t exactly going to be overflowing with anti-military resources.

Well then he should have searched harder!

How? How was he supposed to know to do that? Even if he, entirely independently figured out he should do that, how was he supposed to find that information?

He was a kid. He was poor. He was the first person in his family to aspire to college. And then by the time he knew what he signed up for it was literally a criminal offense for him to try to leave. Because that’s the contract you sign.

(Now, listen, my father is also not my favorite person and we agree on very little, so this example may be a bit tarnished by those facts, but the material reality of the exploitative nature of military recruitment remains the same.)

And this is one of a few examples I’ve come across recently of members of Gen Z just not understanding how hard it was to learn new ideas before the internet. I’m not blaming anyone or even claiming it’s disproportionate or bad. But the same kids that ten years ago I was marveling at on vacation because they didn’t understand the TV in the hotel room couldn’t just play more Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on demand - because they’d never encountered linear prescheduled TV, are growing into kids who cannot comprehend the difficulty of forming a new worldview or making life choices when you cannot google it. When you have maybe one secondhand source or you have to guess based on lived experience and what you’ve heard. Information, media, they have always been instant.

Society should’ve been better, people should’ve known better, it shouldn’t have taken so long, and we should be better now. That’s all true.

But controlling information is vital to controlling people, and information used to be a lot more controlled. By physical law and necessity! No conspiracy required! There’s limited space on a newspaper page! There’s limited room in a library! If you tried to print Wikipedia it would take 2920 bound volumes. That’s just Wikipedia. You could not keep the internet’s equivalent of resources in any small town in any physical form. It wasn’t there. We did not have it. When we had a question? We could not just look it up.

Kids today are fortunate to have dozens of firsthand accounts of virtually everything important happening at all times. In their pockets.

(They are also cursed by this, as we all are, because it’s overwhelming and can be incredibly bleak.)

If anything, today the opposite problem occurs - too much information and not enough time or context to organize it in a way that makes sense. Learning to filter out the garbage without filtering so much you insulate yourself from diverse ideas, figuring out who’s reliable, that’s where the real problem is now.

But I do think it has created, through no fault of anyone, this incapacity among the young to truly understand a life when you cannot access the relevant information. At all. Where you just have to guess and hope and do your best. Where educating yourself was not an option.

Where the first time you heard the word lesbian, it was from another third grader, and she learned it from a church pastor, and it wasn’t in the school library’s dictionary so you just had to trust her on what it meant.

I am not joking, I did not know the actual definition of the word “fuck” until I was in high school. Not for lack of trying! I was a word nerd, and I loved research! It literally was not in our dictionaries, and I knew I’d get in trouble if I asked. All I knew was it was a “bad word”, but what it meant or why it was bad? No clue.

If history felt incomprehensibly cruel and stupid while I was a kid who knew full well the feeling of not being able to get the whole story, I cannot imagine how cartoonishly evil it must look from the perspective of someone who’s always been able to get a solid answer to any question in seconds for as long as they’ve been alive. To Gen Z, we must all look like monsters.

I’m glad they know the things we did not. I hope one day they are able to realize how it was possible for us not to know. How it would not have been possible for them to know either, if they had lived in those times. I do not need their forgiveness. But I hope they at least understand. Information is so powerful. Understanding that is so important to building the future. Underestimating that is dangerous.

We were peasants in a world before the printing press. We didn’t know. I’m so sorry. For so many of us we couldn’t have known. I cannot offer any other solace other than this - my sixty year old mother is reading books on anti-racism and posting about them to Facebook, where she’s sharing what’s she’s learning with her friends. Ignorance doesn’t have to last forever.

[how-to-portuguese]

hey, hope this ask finds you well! I've been wanting to study EP (European Portuguese) for a while now but I can't find any resources available. I'd appreciate it greatly if you would recommend me any resources that you use (especially self-study methods that use the IPA, grammar books would help too!). thank you so so much and have a great day/night!!!

Hey! I know it can be really difficult to find EP resources, especially when you are starting out. I’ll give you a bit of background about my own journey and talk about the resources I have found along the way. (Edit: This is quite a long post, so the content is after the break.)

I started learning European Portuguese about 4.5 years ago. Like many others, I struggled to find good EP resources online, and so I ended up taking evening classes. I had a really good teacher and a very small class, and so the lessons helped me build a solid foundation. We used the Gramática Ativa 1 (A1/A2/B1) book by Isabel Coimbra and Olga Mata Coimbra and the Gramática Aplicada: Português para Estrangeiros (A1/A2/B1) book and the corresponding Caderno de Exercícios by Carla Oliveira and Luísa Coelho.

I moved about 2 years ago and am no longer able to take the evening classes, so I have only been doing self-study in my free time. I am currently working my way through the Manual de Aprender Português 3 (B2) by João Malaca Casteleiro, Luísa Coelho e Carla Oliveira. I also bought the Gramática Aplicada Português Língua Estrangeira (B2/C1) book by Carla Oliveira and Luísa Coelho and the Português Atual 3 (C1/C2) book by Hermínia Malcata, but I have not started them yet.

You can find all off these books and others by the same authors online at Bertrand.pt and Lidel.pt. Some of the book series come with CDs for you to be able to do listening exercises at home, which will give you some exposure to the pronunciation. I also bought the Harry Potter series in European Portuguese from Bertand last Christmas (there is a difference between the BP and EP versions!), and I think pushing myself through those books is helping me to reach a much higher level. I can really tell a difference from where I was when I started the Philosopher’s Stone to where I am now starting Prisoner of Azkaban.

I never had books on pronunciation since I took classes from a native Portuguese and my partner is Portuguese. However, I did a quick search on the Bertrand website and found Manual de Pronúncia e Prosódia by Carla Oliveira and Luísa Coelho. I can’t say whether they use IPA or not in that book, but it might be worth looking into. I liked the grammar books by those authors, so the pronunciation manual is probably good as well.

I recently reblogged a YouTube video called The Secret to Understanding Portuguese Natives by Practice Portuguese. That video uses IPA to explain EP vowel sounds. It is about 40 minutes long, but it is worth the time. The Practice Portuguese team have a handful of other YouTube videos and podcasts where they have their viewers submit recordings of themselves reading a text and then they review it and provide advice.

There is also a Practice Portuguese website with other material and lessons, but I have not used it yet as it is not free. It seems to have a lot of good content for beginners, but it’s not clear whether they have a lot of paid content for intermediate and advanced learners. (That is really the only thing stopping me from signing up, so if someone knows the answer then let me know!). I think they are working on a mobile app as well.

I tried A LOT of free language-learning apps offering Portuguese. Most of them only offer Brazilian Portuguese or are very bad quality. Portuguese with Carla did a YouTube video with a really good, in-depth review of the Top 10 European Portuguese Learning Apps. Talk the Streets also has a YouTube video about learning European Portuguese with free apps. Both of those YouTube channels, along with Practice Portuguese, are fully dedicated to EP language learning content.

I completed the DuoLingo tree a while ago, but I did the tree without sound (it was just too confusing). I still use it now and again to practice verb conjugations while commuting. It was helpful that my partner is Portuguese and could point out differences in word usage and grammar. You could potentially use DuoLingo with the DeepL translator and/or the Priberam dictionary to help determine whether a word is more common in Brazil or in Portugal. Linguee is also useful for definitions and to see how a word is used in context.

Memrise does have some European Portuguese lessons. Some people really like this app, but it just wasn’t for me. I think the content wasn’t a good fit because I only discovered the app after I had been taking Portuguese lessons for more than a year. I also really disliked their notification system (even more than DuoLingo), and the app design felt a little too childish and a little too gamified.

Anki and Quizlet are both good flashcard apps. I have heard a lot of positive things about both of them. I tried this briefly, but they mostly reminded how much I hate flashcards. I personally don’t enjoy rote memorisation, and I find that I learn better when I encounter new words in context and then try to use them in conversation or in writing. I think that’s why regularly watching/reading the news on sites like RTP and Público and reading the Harry Potter series has been helpful.

I also tried Tandem, which is a language exchange app. I use it now and again for writing practice, but every time I show myself as online I get flooded with dozens of messages which can be a bit overwhelming. It can be difficult to keep track of the active conversations, as your inbox keeps filling up and pushing those conversations further down the list. I think part of the problem is that you have to put your native language, and a lot of people jump at the chance to practice with a native English speaker. I also have yet to find a native EP speaker, although occasionally I have chatted with pople who make corrections to my messages in both Brazilian and European Portuguese.

One of the cheapest options for lessons is finding teachers through iTalki. You can arrange private lessons with a native speaker from Portugal. Some of these are professional teachers (very few in my experience) and others are native speakers (often linguistic students) trying to get teaching experience or just earn some extra money. I tried iTalki lessons for a while, but the people I had lessons with didn’t seem prepared to teach grammar to someone at my level. It was good for conversation practice, but it just wasn’t what I was looking for at the time. It does seem to get really good reviews from beginners.

You can also look into doing classes online through Instituto Camões. They have online self-learning courses, group classes, and individual classes. The self-learning classes are €180 for 12 weeks, and the price increases up to €320 for 12 weeks of individual tutoring. I have been considering this option recently, as I have found it difficult to commit to regular self-study while also working a full-time job (I’m a Tumblr ancient). I think the financial commitment and the regular schedule would really help me, but that is a personal preference.

If you ever decide that you want to do some language classes in Portugal, you might consider the University of Coimbra Portuguese language courses. They do short courses and several degrees in Portuguese language, literature, and linguistics. There are great language courses all over Portugal, but University of Coimbra is a really cool university in a very nice city. The student culture there is really famous even in Portugal. I haven’t studied there myself, but I have spent a lot of time in the city and the university makes me a bit sad that I am no longer a student.

Whew, this ended up being long post! I tried to give a variety of resources at different price points. I hope you find at least some of this helpful! I may reblog if I remember anything else, and maybe some of my followers will have more suggestions...

[thereindeerlady]

So i have an 85 in this 6 weeks grading period in Spanish 2. Spanish 2 is hard for those of you who don't take it or already speak the language. Level 2 is so much grammar its suffocating. Well in my other two 6 weeks grading periods for this class (3 6 weeks grading periods per semester), i have high 90s. For high school students in America, these are decents grades. You'll get into college, you'll pass the class easily. Great, right? Wrong.

Its great for other people and when I'm a parent it'll be great for me too. But my parents have so many expectations for what i should be making that i broke down at the end of my exam today. Finals are 20% of the final grade and I just want to finish with at least a 90 in that class. Just to appease my parents. I broke down because i didnt finish the 200 question exam that was completely 100% in Spanish and took a lot of mental concentration and translating. I had 6 questions left. And time was up. My teacher told the girl grading to mark them right anyways. She looked at me and told me it was alright because I would not fail her class and i would not fail her test. Before the curve was applied, I made either the highest or the second highest grade on the class. I am not bad at Spanish. Im not. But with those grades, I may as well be (to my parents). My teacher said, "I hate parents who pressure you like that because school is not the same as it was and real life is not the same as a classroom. Its not fair on you. You did good amd you're okay."

Teachers like that make life in high school in America bearable (bareable? Spelling?). She has taught life lessons along with Spanish. She directly said that her class is hard and her tests and exams are not easy. But if you're respectful and you're honestly trying, she gives you another chance and she will not fail you. Teachers like that make it just a bit easier. More relieving. I was in tears last night because my mother yelled at me for having 80s in a class. A lot of other parents celebrate that with their kids. Kids like me get beaten down vocally and emotionally by their parents for this. I've always been an A honor roll student. Ive always been in honors classes and next year, I'm starting all my AP stuff (advanced placement classes; kinda college level ish?). B's aren't good enough for my parents. But with how my anxiety and stress levels have been, B's are something I'll take.

Ive never been more stressed in my life. Im getting insomnia, im constantly irritable (im never like that), my eating patterns have changed, memory isnt always great, i get to the feeling where im either going to break down or im going to feel nothingness for the rest of my life, im always on the edge of sensory overload. I'm stressed to the max with the hardest classes this semester that I've ever taken in my entire life. And it's still not good enough for them.

Welcome to America's public schools.

Heartbreaking Simpsons Moments 1/∞: Bart Gets an F