#the orb speaks 🔮

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will campos shitting screaming throwing up in the corner of the podcast recording bc he said one mean joke to beth like

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for dndad lovers this ep

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i think one of the best parts of tlt is that normally in media with codependent fucked up lesbian relationships, the lesbians really only are gay for each other. gideon on the other hand. instantly fail flirts with every woman alive. she gets off pluto and decides to get off with every woman she meets

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tbh i have no strong opinions on whether or not courtney and shaynes wedding is real cause theyre strangers on the internet, but either way they are the funniest fucking ppl alive for this

[animeyanderelover]

Tsukinami brothers and Cordelia Sakamaki fell in love with a human maid girl. ♥

I love your blog and youu <3

Let's be real, none of them would make good lovers.

Tw: Yandere themes, toxic relationship, power imbalance, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional thoughts, abuse, clinginess, mocking, humiliation, bullying, sadism, isolation, abduction

Human maid

Cordelia Sakamaki

🟣​As the only human in the Sakamaki estate, you have hell waiting for you since you're constantly either bullied, ignored or disrespected. Even some of the children there treat you rudely but you can't do anything against it. Cordelia is by far the scariest of all of them though as you notice that even the other vampire mothers are afraid of her. You fully understand why as you have been the one to receive her wrath and discontent. So you learn to keep your head low, never speak up against her and silently take everything if she lashes out on you. You make it your job to observe her and know what she wants without realizing that it is this very submissive dedication that manages to catch her eyes. It's been a while since she has had someone paying that much attention to her and listening to her every demand as at one point you can tell what she wants from you without actually having to talk to you. She still sees you as a pathetic, little thing but your effort to please her flatters her as you slowly upgrade to her pathetic yet adorable thing.

🟣​And just like that you become her own personal maid who she expects to cater to her every need. Bellatrix and Christa start avoiding you out of fear to be bullied by Cordelia and if you even do as much as offer anyone else in the mansion your service, Cordelia punishes you. She's verbally and physically very abusive if you shouldn't act like she wants you to. You have scars and bruises all over your skin on such days, dizzy from the amount of blood she consumed painfully from you. She always says cruelly in such moments that you should be glad that she even pays attention to you at all and could easily kill you if she wanted to. Behave! Behave like a mellow and obedient doll and you won't get the worst of her. Follow her always around with your head bowed, only listen to her and she'll be a bit better. Sit perfectly still when she dolls you up with dresses, make-up and jewels as she tells you in a sweeter tone that you need to look presentable when you are with her and don't flinch when her fingers caress the lines of your face gently. Be perfect for her.

Carla Tsukinami

🔮​Carla barely acknowledges you at first but you prefer that over Shin's taunting behavior. As long as you do your job, Carla doesn't care for your presence a lot. You don't even know what it is that eventually causes his golden eyes to be more drawn to you yet you notice it almost instantly. How his piercing orbs scrutinize your every move all of a sudden as you act as submissive and loyal as you are supposed to as a maid. It scares you but when he one day saves you from Shin who was just about to suck your blood again, you're too grateful to think much about it at first. From that day on he lets you spend a lot more time with him in his office where Shin isn't really allowed. He graciously takes care of your wounds as he bandages them and rubs ointment on all scars and open wounds. You're still grateful and thank him multiple times for his kindness to help you, although when you look up you can't help but shiver whilst looking into his eyes who seemingly drill into your soul as he takes in your form, your scent, those innocent and anxious eyes looking into his own.

🔮​Suddenly you aren't allowed to leave his chambers anymore and whilst you initially assume that he just doesn't want you to run into Shin again, the possessive and hungry light in his eyes tells you another story. His presence all of a sudden dangerous and suffocating as he tells you once to head back into his room and you do as he tells you, your body so terrified that it's moving on his own. You are safe from Shin from now on but you have gone from one hell into another hell as you soon come to realize. You're punished for the slightest sign of disrespect as Carla doesn't tolerate any sign of rebellious attitude and so you spend days without food and water in a cold cell, chained to the wall and at the mercy of whatever Carla has in store for you. It's such a stark contrast to when you're instead cuddled up in his arms in his private chambers and he shares his knowledge of the world in a low tone with you. You fear the Carla who hurts you and acts so coldly towards you and do your best to please him so that you only see the gentler side of him. Slowly but surely, you break for him. And that is exactly Carla's plan.

Shin Tsukinami

🐺​Shin makes his disrespect for you blatant as he sees you as little more than a plaything when you first arrive. You're a human after all, know your place. He doesn't let you do your tasks properly as he ruins your work for you. He pushes you around, bullies you, abuses you sexually, scares you and gives you a bright grin when he sees you breaking down in tears before he suddenly grabs your arm and yanks you up, demanding you to clean the mess he just created and prepare something for him. There is never a day where he doesn't give you a break as he is delighted to see your tears, although he also appreciates a bit of sass since it'll make it only more amusing to break you. He is a living nightmare and it is highly likely that you won't even notice that he has developed something for you because he acts exactly the same. He still sees you as a lesser being and you always will be. In fact he seems to be even more persistent now and you initially assume he just wants to torment you more.

🐺​Until one day, he stops. He stops abusing you as badly. Sure, he is still acting like the worst dick you've ever met but there isn't as much abuse anymore. Instead he's clingy and whiny as he yanks you away from your tasks and insists that you spend more time with him. Then the next morning, he's acting like you expect him to act. He suddenly switches back and forth between clingy and entitled to sadistic and psychopathic. You can not predict him anymore as he can seemingly switch from one mood to another within a single second and it makes you paranoid beyond belief. He's unpredictable so you can't even adapt your behavior in hopes of never eliciting his bad side out of him because your own behavior never dictates his actions. It's his own mood and what he is feeling at the moment and you can not influence that. You are adorable like this though as you constantly walk on eggshells around him. You flinch when he wraps his arms around you from behind, his hot breath fanning your neck as you can only wait if he'll bite you painfully or instead just place a kiss on your neck.

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hermie the unworthy i fear

[dipperscavern]

Who up pondering they orb rn? Dipper, that's who!

It's me, chonky, and I hereby request your finest 🔮 reading, please and thank you. Also, sorry for the oncoming wall of text.

As my self-proclaimed title suggests, I am chonky. I'd say I'm probably mid-sized actually but that's only really because I lost some weight when covid happened and the depression rolled in. Anyway, I think I'm 5'5/5'6 but I actually don't know so that's just an estimate based on how tall I am compared to my mom who's 5'11.

I'm biracial but my father's irish-italian genes colonized me so hard, my only afro-centric features I inherited from my mom is my nose, lips, and curly hair, textured around the 3a-3c mark depending on how agreeable my hair is.

I also used to speak spanish when I was way younger because I grew up around my mom's family and she's half puerto rican on her dad's side. Unfortunately, that got whitewashed too when me and my parents moved and I know longer know the language.

I'm from New Jersey but was primarily raised in the New England area of America. I'm (almost) 19 and unlike Jared, I did learn how to read and I enjoy it very much.

I love music of all kinds except country and k-pop is on really thin ice. I'm self-diagnosed autistic and incredibly socially awkward. I make a lot of race jokes but in the "white people can't season their damn food" way instead of the "racist remarks and racial slurs I can't reclaim" way. I'm here, I'm queer, and I really, really need a beer because these damn politicians are going to turn me into an alcoholic, I swear.

I'm a switch but I prefer to dom. Or at least I would. Unfortunately, I get no bitches for I have no rizz. I also have questionable taste in men and women because best believe, you put me in a room alone with Cersei Lannister, her brother (or her lover), Aegon Targaryen II, Aemond Targaryen, Alicent Hightower, or Criston Cole, all them bitches walking out pregnant and I will not apologize for that.

I think that's it. Sorry for the yapfest. All that not talking to people irl manifests into being a blabbermouth online.

-chonky anon

who up pondering they orb rn (me), ANYWAYS, come, dear chonky, and let my crystal friend tell us which man will you love until your timely end 🔮

hm… i see… who is that? no, seriously, who the hell in my orb rn?? OH A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE— excuse my french, that’s your brother jared. *i outstretch my hand, and a nearby unseen hamster gladly walks on it. i flip it, using its back to rub my eyes clean. you watch in horror as i finish my business, setting the hamster down, and returning my gaze to my crystal ball*

ah, that’s more like it. yes yes… i gaze upon (the first) king in the north, robb stark. the thing that solidified that for me was the race jokes 😭 he’d think you’re sooooo funny, and you remind him a lot of theon (whether or not that hurts his heart after theons betrayal, we’ll never know). and your attitude about politicians is exactly how robb feels 24/7. he’s a great battle strategist, but politics make his head hurt, and he’d love being able to complain with you. the part about being socially awkward and preferring not to speak with people much would tickle robb’s fancy at times, because he feels like he gets you allll to himself. and don’t even worry about the rizz!! robb is a-okay being the charming one, and relishes in being able to tease you all he likes <3

[fandomphantomfreak]

shes back girls!!!

[thestitchywitchy]

My mother isn't an advice giver, but she has taught me countless little things that are the foundation of my magic. I think the one she puts to use most is the golden bubble technique, where you surround the thing/person you want to protect/give energy to in golden light. Useful for getting planes safely across seas and for far away loved ones about to head into important meetings.

Aw I relate to this on a personal level because my auntie taught me the same thing when I was growing up. My parents were both long commuters back in the day and I always worried for them. So my aunt taught me to envision golden orbs to protect them. Thank you so much for sharing!

You received Big Bold Vision. This oracle comes with the message that you may soon become apart of or invited to a grand visionary beginning. Spirit says that you weren't born to play a small role in this lifetime. You may have had sparks of ideas lately and sometimes doubt yourself that this idea is a little too much for you. Spirit wants you to not worry because it was meant to be yours. Even though you may have to do a bit of tweaking to your idea along the way, let go of your limited thinking and fearlessly accept that bigger, brighter, and more potent creative possibilities are meant to be expressed outwardly by you.

I hope this reading finds you well, dear!

Stitchy

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actually you know what? the professor IS my poor little meow meow. not only do i love when the professors a little fucked up and evil but i think he should do it more often actually. kind of girlboss of him

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diversity win! the racist draft dodger shady second hand car dealeris a magic italian catboy!

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literally every episode:

freddy wong: taylor looks so fucking cool and he does something cool asfuck 😎😎😎

matt arnold: linc looks so fucking lame and he pisses himself

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the only things harrow can eat are bonemeal, gruel and gideon nav’s- no i shant say

Harrowhark Nonagesimus has brought something new to the 'He would not fucking say that' ooc table and it's 'She would not fucking eat that'

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do you think chugs mccrae and vincent spellfeather the pisswizard ever explored each others bodies

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oh thid episode fulfills one of my fav dndads moments which is matt steadfastly refusing to move the plot forward and instead just riffing with weird oddly standoffish linc improv like i est that shit up