#the op has a drinking game for these too

[millerflintstone]

I've gotten sucked into this gal's TikToks where she posts a radio station's morning show feature called second date update. The sheer obliviousness of most of the dudes that initiate the call is bananas. They always think it's a perfect date and nothing went wrong.

One guy didn't tell his date they'd be walking 45 minutes to the restaurant because he thought gas prices were outrageous and he didn't want to drive. No clue as to the fact that she got herself a cute outfit and that her shoes weren't shoes for walking.

Another guy went as a date to his ex coworker's friend's wedding and he hooked up with a bridesmaid after. Didn't think it would get back to her. These were her friends from college.

One guy thought he was connecting with a lady who brought her kids to the same park that he brought his kids to. He thought they had a connection. She just stopped showing up to the park because she could tell he was reading into things. When confronted with the fact that she did not see him that way, he blamed her for leading him on.

I know men have the audacity but WOW.

There are some clueless women, too. One gal got pissed that her date didn't notice she lost an earring and that's why she ghosted him. He didn't pay attention to that and that really pissed her off. Some very obvious golddiggers also seem to initiate the call from the station, too.

This one is one of the few successes:

[xinganhao]

🌱 wonwoo x producer!reader.

the five times wonwoo swears he's over you (and the one time that he decides he isn't) ★ see also: main post, drabble

♫ maybe i'm just not better than this, i haven't tried / 'cause maybe you'll finally choose me after you've had more time.

🌱 the five times.

when he sees you for the first time in over a year.

he believes it's the nice thing to do, treating you out to dinner. he froze you out, after all, because he was stupid and he didn't know how to handle his crush on you. he likes to think that the past fourteen months have made him better. wiser. so, that night, he makes it up to you. he also makes up a dozen different excuses. do his eyes linger on you a little too long as you happily drink your yogurt drink? he's just making sure you like what he chose for you. does he walk a little closer when he notices you're shivering from the evening cold? he's just concerned you might get sick. he doesn't like you anymore. he's better now, wiser now. he has to be.

when your second studio choom video comes out.

it's not the same as the first time, where he'd smiled to himself while watching you perform your latest comeback in STUDIO CHOOM's crisp, 4k quality. back then, that's how he had known he was done for. this time, he watches it purely out of curiosity. to add to the millions of views that the video is already raking up. he keeps a straight face the whole time. just watches with a perfectly neutral expression. he's just a guy supporting a friend, isn't he? when he gets through the entire video without smiling, he counts that as a win. if his heart— the bloody traitor— had stuttered at your ending fairy, well. that's an entirely different story.

on a random tuesday, just because.

he's never really seen the appeal in games like stardew valley; they were always a little too slow for his taste. but you'd absolutely begged, and so he begrudgingly bought the game for ₩20,600 just to shut you up. he still doesn't care much for it, to be quite honest. there's a lot of slow, lazy days where he just dicks around in-game. he bears with it anyway since you're always so happy when you beat him at fishing, or when you get to steal away the bachelorette he was going after. your voice is a low buzz in his ear as the two of you play until the sun has risen, until he's cussing you out for keeping him up so late when he has a schedule to go to. you let him complain all he wants because he'll still back online for co-op later that night.

when you're back in the same recording studio as him.

this one is the hardest, because this is where he fell for you in the first place. you, with your head bent as you fiddle with jihoon's digital audio workstation. you, with your usually friendly demeanor shuttered behind something so cool and collected. the pencil tucked behind your ear. the way you worry your lower lip as the boys croon. he wants to scream, wants to test just how soundproof this damn studio is. instead, he sings his lines. he makes adjustments as necessary. he watches you do your thing, even jokes to you here and there. it's all he can do to keep his mind away from what it wants so badly to stray back to. in the end, he doesn't scream. but when you smile at him and tease him that he did a good job— he wishes he had.

when he drives you home after you've had one too many to drink.

you're half-asleep in his passenger seat, all soft edges and incoherent mumbles. he tries to be cross with you, tries to tell you off for not knowing your limits and ending up like this. there's an unmistakable softness in his gaze, though, as he makes sure the seatbelt isn't too tight around your frame. he avoids all the potholes and goes extra careful over the speed bumps. by the time he makes it to your dorm, you're already passed out with your cheek pressed against the window. he decides to let you sleep for only thirty seconds more. as he mentally counts down— thirty, twenty-nine, twenty-eight— he tries to convince himself that it won't sting when he gets to one. (it still does.)

🌸 the one time.

on another random tuesday.

in the end, it's not an evening of stardew valley that gets him. it's not one of your fancams, not your warm presence in his shotgun. no, it's something much more stupid. something much more small. it's the way he looks for his phone when it pings. he doesn't even know if it's you who's texting him. but it could be, and that's enough to have him fishing through his bag hastily. he catches himself one afternoon, notices the way he's just a touch too excited to check the newest notification. he's not any wiser or better, it seems. he doesn't know if he can be. he's still the same jeon wonwoo with a hopeless crush on you.

[penkura]

No One Better

Note: Ahh I didn't know how to go about this, but here it is! It's another in the OP Men as Dads series, but this one is ONLY Zoro and his son. I just had this idea after seeing this OC template on Pinterest, and I had to do it, I couldn't not. I have thoughts floating around for other characters in this same vein of calming down their children, and I will post them separately like this most likely! For now, please enjoy Zoro being a wonderful, soft dad to his little boy. 🥹 I want to have his babies so bad, where is my irl Zoro omg

Your son may be Zoro’s child too, but he’s a big crybaby when either of you are missing from his sight. He could be happily sitting in your lap or on Zoro’s chest, but when Keitaro notices one of you isn’t around, he immediately pouts and begins to cry. At first it’s legitimate tears, until he learns that he can get you with crocodile tears because that’s your baby boy, of course you’re going to run to him when he cries! You figured it out quickly when he instantly started to smile and coo at you the first time he cried crocodile tears to get your attention, Zoro didn’t believe you for a few weeks until your ten-month-old did it to him too. He just loves you and Zoro so much, he wants you both around him all the time.

Zoro is able to calm him down very easily, just by talking to Keitaro gently. An older woman on an island you stopped at was surprised to see how easily Keitaro calmed down and went from nearly sobbing to happy little giggles when Zoro just took him from you and started asking him what was wrong, why was he so upset all of a sudden (he couldn’t see Zoro standing nearby, that was the problem). The woman was highly impressed and said her own husband hadn’t been that good with their children, it made you smile and thank her for the compliment, since you knew Zoro would never.

Keitaro is big enough to sit up on your lap during a party between your crew, the Heart Pirates, and the Kid Pirates when the three of you run into each other. Members of your (now permanently) allied crews coo and fawn over your son, the youngest of all the crews, and he adores the attention he receives from all these new people. Once everyone goes back to drinking and playing games, you choose to stay to the side with Keitaro, keeping him from the alcohol and making sure he stays happy while everything goes on, and he does, looking around at everyone and giggling when he sees Luffy do something funny.

Keitaro is happy and calm until he realizes he doesn’t see Zoro anywhere, making your nearly year old son start to pout and fuss. You try your hardest to calm him down when he really starts to cry and kick his legs because he’s frustrated, quietly speaking to him and placing kisses on his little head to help.

“Hey, little guy,” you feel beyond relived when Zoro comes over, resting his arms on your thighs and getting nose to nose with your son, which starts to calm him down, “What’re you crying for?”

Keitaro slowly calms down, looking at Zoro cross-eyed at first before his eyes fully focus on him, starting to smile and coo again as he puts his tiny hands on Zoro’s face. It makes Zoro smile in return as he takes your son from you, intending to give you a small break.

“Let’s give mama a few minutes to enjoy the party too, yeah?” Zoro gently tosses your son in the air a few times, Keitaro letting out squeals and giggles in response.

You slip away to the girls for a while, Ikkaku giving you a smile and telling you how lucky you are with Zoro, causing you to look back at them with your own smile. Keitaro has his thumb in his mouth as he lays against Zoro’s chest where he can see you, content and slowly falling asleep, while your husband rubs his back to help him relax.

“He’s really the best dad to Keitaro, I couldn’t have asked for anything better.”

[actual-changeling]

Welcome back to Alex's unhinged meta corner, and today I have something surprisingly not kiss-related—though it is still about the final fifteen because hey, gotta keep the brand image.

I read this post by @goodoldfashionednightingale and began typing a small response. Then I made the mistake of drinking half a litre of coffee on an empty stomach right after taking my adhd meds and my brain began vibrating at the speed of light.

But oh, have I discovered parallels. This, my friends, is about the nightingale, where it comes from, what it means, and what the fuck happened in part 3 of 1941.

Ready? Let's go.

Now, as OP said in her post, s1e3 is important. In the script book, Neil himself says that these flashbacks are where the producers would tell him to cut scenes to save money. They suggested every single one—except for the one he ended up taking out, which was the bookshop opening scene set in 1800. The others are building blocks, you need them to see how their relationship progressed and what kind of important milestones they had.

(side note: author is very miffed that english does not have a separate subjunctive form like german which makes quoting lines way more confusing than it has to be)

The one I want to mention is neither 1941 nor 1967. No, what I want to talk about is 1601. This might be about to get a bit rambly but I will do my best to keep it tidy.

The focus of that flashback is on the Arrangement, yes, but it gives us a lot more information than that.

they both see Shakespeare's plays regularly, maybe even meet in the crowd

Crowley prefers the comedies

Aziraphale does not seem to have a preference, he enjoys the tragedies and presumably the comedies too

there is an oyster woman selling food -> reference to their meeting in Rome when Aziraphale tempted him to try some oysters

Aziraphale reflexively denies their relationship

Crowley might say he is not worried but circles Aziraphale the entire time, keeping watch

they both ask favours of each other and both agree to do them

What stands out to me in relation to what I am about to expand on is the line that Crowley delivers after Aziraphale's little 'buck up'—which Crowley finds adorable btw but that's a post for another time.

"Age does not wither nor custom stale his infinite variety."

Why would he say that? What exactly is prompting this? WHY say that specific line?

At first I thought it might be to tempt Shakespeare because he does commit art theft by just copying that line down, BUT I think there is more to that. So much more, in fact. I am wiggling now because I am very excited about this and my adhd meds are kicking in anyway.

First things first: the line itself.

It appears in Shakespeare's play Antony and Cleopatra, a romantic tragedy, which was first performed in 1607 aka six years after this meeting. Enobarbus is talking about Cleopatra and describing why Antony won't leave her. Her.

Ccrowley uses his—again, who is he even talking about? Hamlet? Shakespeare? Random poetic quote?

No, I think this line is about Aziraphale and it's a code. Right after, the next line from Aziraphale is "What do you want?", meaning that this is their code phrase for 'I have a favour to ask of you'.

Age does not wither nor custom stale his infinite variety

Age will not affect his appearance nor will he ever become boring to Antony. Crowley, who later chooses the name Anthony for himself, tells Aziraphale, an immortal, that he will never age and that he will never grow bored of him.

It's flattery, pure and simple, and it's code at the same time. This establishes the important fact that they might use more of Shakespeare's work as code/already have a system in place (even though he steals Crowley's line for later).

They play their little morality game of back and forth, Aziraphale agrees, Crowley probably manipulates the coin toss, and THEN we find out that the oyster woman is called Juliet.

Why? What is the meaning of that? Why give her a name and that name in particular? Why bring the sexy oysters back into it?

Romeo and Juliet premiered in 1597, so it is safe to assume they have both seen it by 1601, but this is mostly for the audience, not for us-or is it?

Aziraphale gives Crowley puppy eyes until he agrees to make Hamlet popular, and while I don't think Juliet itself is a code word, although it's very interesting that the OYSTER woman is the one with that name (especially adding what we now know about Job), Romeo and Juliet might be.

Yes, the Nightingale song came out in 1940 but the bird has been around for much, much longer, and, as many probably know by now, also shows up in Romeo and Juliet.

This is where I am starting to vibrate at the speed of light because listen to me. Listen.

Crowley is Juliet. Anthony J. Crowley. Antony Juliet Crowley.

(side note: I'm not saying that Crowley chose it based on that—though I am not not saying that—but that it is a clue for us at the audience.)

Why do I think that? In the play, Romeo spends the night with Juliet and then goes to leave as the night begins to end. Juliet tries to stop him and tells him that the birds they are hearing aren't larks, which sing at dawn, but nightingales, which sing at night.

Who is the one always pushing for more? Crowley. He is the one trying to convince Aziraphale it's safe, they're safe to spend time together.

Romeo disagrees with Juliet and says 'I must be gone and live, or stay and die'.

Leave and stay alive, or stay and hell/heaven will punish us. It gets even better though.

We all know how Romeo and Juliet ends: Romeo thinks Juliet is dead, kills himself, Juliet finds him and then kills herself too.

Hey, do you know how Antony and Cleopatra ends?

Antony thinks Cleopatra is dead, kills himself and dies in her arms, then Cleopatra also kills herself—by snake poison; Romeo also died by poison.

The parallels are THERE. They are jumping down our throats! Two tragedies, two sides, several familiar names and phrases, same fear, same ending.

I think by now you can guess how this ties back to 1941.

We do not see how that night ends, but we know it ends. One of them wants to stretch it out, maybe even quotes Romeo and Juliet because look at the setting!

Candlelight, wonderful night they spend together, the threat of Crowley's early demise, and, to quote the play once more, this time Romeo: I have more care to stay than will to go.

Crowley thought it was his last night on earth and went with Aziraphale to his bookshop, to be with him, because he cares more about that than the fact that he will be dragged to hell come morning. Do you remember?

"Expect a legion to come for you first thing tomorrow" THAT is the threat. They have until dawn, just like Romeo and Juliet, which is why she is so desperate for the birds to be nightingales. Fortunately for them, Aziraphale saves the day, BUT there is NO SECURITY. They do not KNOW if a legion will still show up or not. If dawn is a deadline and they will need to fight.

Sure, they improved their chances, but who knows? Maybe they will come for him anyway, it's not like hell is all fair and square.

The best part: it gets even better.

Juliet eventually panics and tells him to go, and Romeo drops a line that huh, sounds oddly familiar, doesn't it?

'More light and light, more dark and dark our woes!'

Remind me, what does Aziraphale say again? Ah, yes. Perhaps there is something to be said for shades of grey.

There is more. Yes, even more. We know the whole rescue relies on a magic trick, a switch. Guess what Juliet yearns for while telling Romeo to go save himself?

Oh, now I would they had changed voices too. While they did not for Romeo and Juliet—they kiss and part—they did for our two. One fabulous switch and we're good.

(side note: Toads? Associated with hell. Larks? Associated with the dawn, yes, but also heaven since Romeo says 'Nor that is not the lark, whose notes do beat the vaulty heaven so high above our heads.')

So, this was a whole lot of information, let's see if I can summarize my thoughts.

I believe the nightingale is a code word that has existed even before 1941 and gained a lot of importance over the years. In 1941, the song is added to the meaning and whatever happened between the two that we have not seen yet, it fundamentally changed their relationship. Maybe they kissed, maybe one of them tried to convince the other to prolong the night but they parted on not-great terms.

The nightingale and the song become a symbol of hope, a goal to achieve, another uninterrupted night, maybe, or an uninterrupted life.

When they part in the final fifteen, it's morning. Crowley points at the sky and says "no nightingales", which at that point has several different layers to it.

No nightingales because their night is over, just like with Romeo and Juliet, and please, please allow me to add another detail, because I am frothing at the mouth over this. The scene I quoted, known as balcony scene, do you know what it is preceded by?

A ball.

Star-crossed lovers defying their sides, falling in love at a ball, getting a hurried, wonderful night together but torn apart by danger of punishment, the nightingale as a dream, as a wish for unhurried time together. Family rejection, torn apart by parents, willing to die for each other so they can reunite in death.

No nightingales. The ball, the romance, is over, their dancing is over, heaven is tearing them apart, and Aziraphale returns to heaven while they are both stuck in a pit of misunderstanding and miscommunication, all bound together by fear for each other.

The thing is, Crowley hates tragedies, he never liked the "gloomy ones", and he does not want them to end in one—luckily, this isn't the end. Yes, they kiss and part, but the play keeps going. We have an entire act 3 to fix what Romeo and Juliet couldn't, to ensure that this is a COMEDY, not a tragedy.

Both Antony & Cleopatra and Romeo & Juliet died out of fear, hurried into making bad decisions because they knew what would happen if their sides were to catch up with them.

Crowley and Aziraphale can reunite heaven and hell with love, not death. This is THEIR story and they are writing the ending. No more day and night, no more deadlines, no more hiding and sneaking about, no more fear of larks and sunshine.

Good Omens will end the way it began: In a garden with two no-longer-star-crossed lovers embracing the song of a lark as well as that of the nightingale.

I hope this made sense to everyone who was no present while my mind started to vibrate itself into a puddle because the thing is I can see Neil doing all of this completely on purpose.

Thoughts? Questions? Additions? Come and join me in my insanity and until next time I have a mental breakdown over this show (probably in like two hours).

[ohimsummer]

RANDOM HORROR GAMER! SATORU HCS

— one(1) suggestive under the cut so minors dni, gamer! gojo x reader, established rs, explicit language, some gamer! reader, pet names (sweetums, baby, (my) love), the link has body horror!!, horror-loving gojo in general <3

⭑ ࣪ ˖ sum’z notes.ᐟ gojo playing outlast and resident evil and silent hill and fnaf and and

horror gamer! satoru who always likes you around whenever he starts playing. doesn’t matter if you’re cooking, showering, or out for the day—and prefers you in his lap while in his comfy gaming chair, but if you’re even just on the bed nearby then that’s totally okay, too.

horror gamer! satoru who finds it so cute when the jumpscares actually startle you. laughs when you let out a yelp or a scream, giggling a ‘relax, baby’ as if his heart didn’t stop for a second at the same scare.

horror gamer! satoru who asks your opinions and recommendations on what games to play, even if you know nothing about them. if he’s stuck between two games, he’ll let you be the tiebreaker, shoving the two options in your face for you to choose from even if your reasons are inane. ‘you like the art on this one better? the title sounds cooler? okay, come check it out with me!’

horror gamer! satoru who finds it comforting whenever you’re cuddled under him while he plays. your scent and the warmth of your body soothes him, makes the scares a little less frightening and he calms down way quicker when he gets to hug you so tight. (refers to you as his emotional support y/n)

horror gamer! satoru who’s just about always eating his words about how terrified the game is making him. talks so much shit going ‘oh this dumbass monster isn’t even that scary’ and you just like to humor him even though you can feel his heart pounding in his chest.

horror gamer! satoru who enjoys when you also talk a little trash with him. ‘i could totally take that monster on, right, baby?’ ‘hell yeah, it looks weak as shit, you could destroy that thing.’

horror gamer! satoru and you both frantically talking over eachother when he gets to a fast-paced area of the game, parts that require swift puzzle-solving or thinking quickly on your feet. ‘fuckfuckfuck where do i go, where do i go ?!’ ‘that way, THAT WAY, no the other way, oh my god, run!!’

horror gamer! satoru who likes handing you the mouse/controller and watching you play. guides you through some parts when you get confused, and always returns your victorious grin when you’re able to get past the really scary or difficult areas by yourself.

‘look at my baby gettin’ through the little mini-boss after 26– ow, fine, 18 tries! so proud of you, sweetums, guess my super-awesome gaming skills are rubbin’ off on ya, huh?’

horror gamer! satoru who lets you get jumpscared even when he knows a scare is coming up. ‘didn’t wanna ruin the experience for ya, baby’ while he’s almost spitting out his water from trying to hold back laughter.

horror gamer! satoru who you have to gently drag away from his setup when he starts getting frustrated. he’s been stuck on this one part for hours now because of rng or the boss is just ‘stupid and rigged’ and insanely hard. you can see his jaw clench, his moves getting sloppier in his exasperation.

horror gamer! satoru let’s you pepper kisses up and down his neck, over his jaw and cheeks, on his forehead as you murmur suggestions to take a break in his ear. you hold your own drink up in an offer for him to take a sip, before slipping away to grab one of his favorite sweet treats to hopefully ease his frustrations. ‘give it a rest and come cuddle with me for a bit, my love, you can always try again later.’

horror gamer! satoru who buys another controller (in your favorite color) so he can play co-op horror games with you. he loves watching you improve, proud when he doesn’t have to carry you as hard anymore. and it feels so much more fun because it’s like you’re experiencing the scares together, not the same as when you’re just watching him play.

horror gamer! satoru who goes horror game-hunting with you. he loves that your interest in them has grown so much, and you two can actually talk in detail about them since your ‘horror knowledge’ isn’t at base level anymore.

horror gamer! satoru likes that you’re not just watching him play and listening to him explain what’s going on anymore. you’re more heavily intrigued in the game lore and spotting tiny details or references in the games.

you’re playing a multiplayer horror game with satoru, exploring a different room of the house since you two have split up to cover more ground.

‘oh, wow! satoru, look at this little figure on the desk!’

his avatar makes its way over, and he’s a little excited to see the tiny evil within 2 reference on the piece of furniture.

‘it’s obscura, isn’t that so cool?’ ‘fuck yeah, wonder if there’s any more hidden around here somewhere?’ and you both keep an eye out for any other allusions to more horror game characters.

horror gamer! satoru who convinces you that playing in the dark is so much better. and it is, it makes the whole experience that much scarier, and you hate (love) it. you find yourself peeping into the dark shadows of the room, goosebumps raised on every inch of skin. and also wanting to punch satoru in the throat when he grazes a finger up the nape of your neck, laughing at your fright when you just about jump out of your skin.

horror gamer! satoru who buys little trinkets or figures of horror game characters. bought you a silent hill nurse figurine to go next to his of pyramid head. you both dressed up as said characters for a Halloween party once, and then ended up, um, undressing eachother in someone’s bathroom later that night…

horror gamer! satoru who knows all kinds of horror game trivia and he loves exchanging facts with you, even if you tell him stuff he already knows. again, he just loves that you share his favorite interest! tell him over and over about how [char.] is your favorite horror game villain or how [song] makes that scene so much creepier! he will eat it up again and again and again.

horror gamer! satoru who gets so excited whenever you present a new game to him, especially if it’s one he hasn’t seen before! ‘holy shit, baby is this a new release? fuck, we have to play this tonight!’

a casual (horror-themed) date night with horror gamer! satoru could be going out to see a new scary movie in theatres, or even just staying in to play your favorite horror games together. on nights like those, he likes to suggest cheesy, parody, or nostalgic horror games like slenderman or some .EXE game.

tagz: @anthoosies @staryukis @hellkaiserinphoenix @biscuitsngravie @elusivemoon @rxddxvotion @babytoshiii

[siffrins-therapist]

👾censoredmandibiles Follow

OK time to settle something

EDIT: this post WAY ended up breaking containment. GO CLUTCH YOUR PEARLS ELSEWHERE

🦑tentacleovi Follow

YO FREE BLOCKLIST IN THE NOTES HOLY SHIT

#RIP OP's notifs #i don't go here but i suggest making popcorn before diving into those notes #some of it is puritan bs you'd expect #some of it is discourse i never even knew existed

41.6K Notes

🕷️friendofcharlotte

I think a painting my friend got at a thrift store was painted by Mr. Italy Veneziano? Is there a way to authenticate it? Google isn't helping.

⭐wishonadeadstar Follow

Try here. Turns out my nan's portrait of her farmhouse was originally painted by Mr. Romano when he was living in NY during the 1920's.

🕷️friendofcharlotte

THANK YOU

8 Notes

📽️bisexuallightinggoggles Follow

hey yo so the US rep put like 100 hours into playing that game Spiritfarer just this week... anyone want to go check on the guy??

💿newagepirate Follow

There are literally government workers who's literal job it is to check on him

⛰️lesbianmothernature Follow

how tf do you know he put 100 hours into playing a game anyway????

📽️bisexuallightinggoggles Follow

We're friends on Steam. He adds like everyone who asks.

And for everyone in the notes asking what Spiritfarer is it's one of those cozy simulator games here's the trailer.

#isn't the 'deathiversary' of his friend Davie this week? #i'm definitely not the first person to think of that #okay looking at the notes was a mistake #like i'm not one of those ppl who puts #'DNI if your username makes fun of davies death' but #immortal or not #even if it happend centuries ago #you can still be sad your FUCKING FRIEND DIED

12.3k Notes

🥾hikingawayfrommyfeelings Follow

So if I become a citizen of Ladonia can he just... visit me through my computer?

🦝trashypanda Follow

He gets mad when you summon him :(

🦘callmejoeythewayi Follow

"summon him" Like a fucking demon?

🫒shrekbignaturals Follow

We are NOT rehashing that old discourse.

🎱magic8saveme Follow

Oh god I just revived my blog after escaping x/twitter and last time I saw that disk hoarse, my dash was just post after post of this for DAYS

🪄magictrio-dropout

#was there actual discourse about whether the nation-people were demons? #cuz the discourse i saw on my dash was #whether tales of things like demons vampires and #other immortal or 'came back to life' creatures #were born from when the nation-people resurrecting #or like #doing creepy stuff

IDK about tumblr or the first bit (I've personally never heard that at least not from anyone being serious) but the other stuff has been debated in academia for decades! One of my literature professors is ADAMANT that the vampire myth can be traced to old folklore about the reps and them reviving and possibly the blood-drinking comes from an evolution of the myth when before, old stories talked about blood soaking the earth where vampires rose. If anyone's interested, here's where you can find my professor's paper about it.

🎃warongayxmas

So like. *grabs a bat and slowly approaches a hornet's nest* Then does the Jesus story have the same roots then?

🫒shrekbignaturals Follow

WE 👏 ARE 👏 NOT 👏 RE 👏 HASHING 👏 THAT 👏 DISCOURSE👏

🥾hikingawayfrommyfeelings Follow

Wtf happened to my post???

#so did OP become a Ladonian citizen or what?

187.4k Notes

🐦‍pinchforawish Follow

MY DAD GOT TO SEE MR ENGLAND LIVE BACK WHEN HE WAS IN A PUNK BAND

🐦‍pinchforawish Follow

TUMBLR WTF HOW TF DOES THIS VIOLATE GUIDELINES

🏴dinotonugget-deactivated

Finally. Proof that the site runs so shittily bc Mr. Eyebrows works for staff

🫎moosecrossing Follow

Spoke the truth and got fucking killed for it

67.9 Notes

[indierpgnewsletter]

The 1980 Dallas RPG was a Soap Opera Wargame?

In 1980, SPI, a company known for its wargames did a strange thing and published an RPG based on the Dallas tv show. If you don't know anything about the tv show, don't worry, I will protect you. It's too late for me though. You go on ahead. Basically, it was a hit TV show of big money family feuding. Imagine Succession but it was written in the 1980s and instead of TV news, it was an oil company. Unlike the show, the RPG wasn't a hit. The art director of the game famously wrote that they printed 80,000 copies and that was 79,999 more than people wanted. That one person seemed to be this person's grandma who bought it for him to save his soul from D&D/Satan.

What is this game though? Well, James F Dunnigan, founder of SPI and designer of legendary wargame, Panzerblitz, seems to have applied his analytical mind to the internecine squabbles of Dallas and decided that, if you think about it, petty family drama isn't so different from CIA covert ops. And he was right.

As you'd expect from a wargame, the rules are dry and clinical to a fault. You start by picking one of the 9 characters from the show - JR, Jock, Sue Ellen, Pam, etc. They all have stats like Persuasion, Coercion, Seduction. And these stats have attack/defend values. For example, JR has a Coercion of 24 because he's a real jerk. Sue Ellen has a Seduction resist of 18, but it's 20 against JR, because again, he seems to have been a real jerk. This game genuinely went out of its way to make sure you know JR's wife really really doesn't want to go near him.

Each character starts the session ("episode") with a secret story-based objective. Jock wants to run an angry former employee out of town, JR wants to cheat an Arab oil magnate out of 100 million dollars, Sue Ellen wants to do a favour for an old boyfriend. Yeah, what can I say? Some of these objectives feel more important than others. Regardless, you achieve these objectives by controlling 4 or more specific minor characters and organisations by the end of the game. For example, to enact his 100 million dollar plan, JR has to control the Ewing Oil Company, Mustafa Quattara, Professor Bayard, the reporter Mary Cleef, and so on. But characters' objective overlap so Pam also wants Mustafa Quattara and Jock also wants Professor Bayard. These conflicting goals means players need to scheme, negotiate and attack each other so they can win.

The sessions play out in five rounds. Each round, the GM sets the scene. Then, the players can negotiate and make deals. Then, we enter the conflict phase where each player makes three moves - either trying to gain control of uncontrolled NPCs, or attacking another player to steal an NPC from under them, or protecting their own NPCs. And the game throws in little curveballs every round: Oops, some of JR's drinking buddies are in town and he can't say no to them, so his character is out of this round. Hopefully the player has some NPCs that they can use to act instead. Oops, Mustafa Quattara is being chased by assassins. Whoever controls his card has to give it up as he disappears for a bit and comes back uncontrolled. The end result is somewhere in between Vampire the Masquerade (or rather, Undying) and Blood on the Clocktower.

Sure, the math is dense (you roll 2d6 under the difference between the attack value and the defense value, plus or minus any currency spent). Sure, it takes 9 players to really sing. Sure, multiple people can complete their objective so you need to track victory points separately to decide the real winner. Sure, you have to take the homophobia out of the Seduction rules. Sure, roleplaying is completely optional. Sure, sure, sure. The game is a mess. But it's a very playable mess. I'd go so far as to say it's an electric mess. It's shockingly (sorry) fun to play. I think the secret lies in a very clear agenda for the players, a tight boardgame-like action economy, a premise that supports hilarious degrees of pettiness, and an inter-personal experience that demands everyone pay attention to what their friends are doing.

So. Am I planning a full 9 person play-by-post game of this? Yes. Am I thinking of changing the setting and the math? Yes. Is that basically designing a new game? Yes. Should this game be labelled "Powered by Dallas" or, as one of my players suggested, "Hornswoggled by Dallas"? YES.

(This was first published in the Indie RPG Newsletter.)

[nyarumie]

Water Predicament. (Oneshot)

narumi gen x f!reader - smut, NSFW. improper use of gaming controller, pussy eating and fingering, i guess this counts as pussy drunk gen, best friends to ???

Author's Note: Literally my FIRST ever smut/nsfw 😭 Forgive me if there are lapses here and there, I tried my best! Let me know if you want a part two 💌 Feedback is appreciated!

Cross-posted on Ao3. Please check pinned for masterlist, links, and other important info (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡

This was only an accident.

As best friends, it is only natural for you to stay in Gen’s office on a daily nightly basis, gracing him with your company (and occasional co-op) as “a sign of your mighty and genuine friendship”, your words, not his.

He had asked you to join him in Mario Kart, deciding it was nice to take a breather from grind-heavy games. You, who has been cleaning up his mess for the past hour out of boredom, happily accepted the invitation.

You sat cross-legged beside him on his futon, grabbing the long forgotten controller on the floor.

Pocky in mouth, he asked you, “You fine with random maps?”

“Always up for anything.” you said.

He wordlessly set up the round you’ll be playing, taking this opportunity to eat up as many pocky sticks as you can; not that he’ll run out of it, half of his snack supply was from you. As you grab another pocky, you hear the countdown of the round go off.

“3… 2…” Now that's your sign to get the gear working.

“1… Go!”

And the vehicles went off. Both of you were silent, save for the occasional grumbles and curses whenever a random player takes over you.

This went on for several rounds, and by the 5th round, you found yourself getting thirsty. Losing or winning didn't matter to you, deciding to stop in the middle of the race. Scanning the stashes of unopened cans, you find that none of those caffeinated drinks fancy your tastes.

You tugged at Gen’s oversized shirt’s sleeve, gaining a percentage of his attention, but still not looking away from the screen. “Mhm?”

“Gen, don't you have a bottle of water around here? I need a drink.”

“Beside me.”

So he does drink water too.

Getting up, you went over to his other side and grabbed an unopened bottle. You went back to your original position, pressing the controller between your thighs as you tried to open the bottle.

‘The cap isn't even budging!’ you internally complained.

You decided to press the water bottle in your thigh too, making the controller press further in.

You're still struggling with opening the cap, despite your thighs and one hand tightly holding it down while the other tries forcing it to twist. Looking to the side, you see Gen still paying no mind to you, which is totally fine, just to save yourself from this predicament.

‘I can kill a goddamn Honju and not open a shit ass water bottle? You’ve gotta be kidding me!’

As you struggle with the bottle, your unmoving Mario Kart character has finally been found by the other players, purposely attacking you with direct-hit items just to torment you—a stranger to them all. Hit after hit causes the system to consequently cause the controller to… shake violently against your clothed sex.

You paid no mind to it, thinking that it will pass—but oh, the random players you matched with are ruthless. They won't stop the attack, the controller’s vibration not stopping anytime soon; causing you to weaken your grip on the water bottle and try your hardest to not moan.

You should've known better and pulled the controller away, but alas, before you can even do that, a rather loud and needy whine slipped from your lips.

Your head whipped to Gen’s direction swiftly, checking if he even heard you, only to find him still focused on the game.

Embarrassed is an understatement to describe you right now. You felt ashamed and disgusted that you’d even feel pleasure from whatever this is! For goodness’ sake, this is Gen’s game controller! It just so happened to have a vibrating feature, that's all.

Still… you’d be lying if you denied the pleasure you felt. Awkwardly, you slid further back so that you won't be caught by Gen’s peripheral vision. You kept the stick of the controller right where you pressed them, a different kind of thirst starting to overtake your senses—water bottle now disregarded.

Pathetic, you felt absolutely pathetic. The perfect definition of getting horny at the wrong place and wrong time. You felt your breathing gradually getting heavier at each vibration you felt, licking your lips as you got needier. You should stop, but you can't. You’re mentally apologizing to Gen right now.

Unable to help it, you once again slip out another needy sound, much subtle this time. “F-fuck…”

To your horror, you suddenly heard him speak, causing you to shriek and pull away the controller.

“You know, you could've just told me if you wanted to fuck.” he said, now turning to watch you with, eyes filled with amusement.

“What are you—!”

“Hm. Right. What were you doing? And to my controller, too.”

Looking at anything but him, your head is a mess as you try to reason your way out if this. Is he mad? “Um… Gen! I was just… just trying to open the water bottle and, this — it was an accident!”

He started inching closer to you, and you know you should be avoiding him, but it's as if you're a deer caught in the headlights, unable to move.

“I’m no idiot. I was also throwing at your character, y’know. That was no accident.”

His arms caged you from where you are sitting, your eyes going wide at your close proximity. You know his figure and stature is much larger than yours, but hell, the evident difference from how close the two of you are makes you want to be devoured.

“At first, I thought nothing of your needy whine as frustration; that water bottle sure is tight as hell. But you were acting weird out of the blue. And you’re not particularly too quiet either, in case you didn't know.”

There's no use denying the obvious, then. You placed your hands on his chest, eyebrows knitting closely together. “Alright, alright! Fine, I was nasty and felt disgusting using your controller that way. I apologize. I should've—”

“You should've asked me to fuck you instead. There, I finished it for you.”

Pinkish hues stared back at your colored irises, his eyes showing no hint of humor, rendering you speechless.

Sensing your hesitation, he lowered his head to the junction of your ear and jaw, softly trailing his lips across the outline of your face. Your heart thumped at this, breathing getting heavy.

A hand made its way over the expanse of your exposed thigh, a blessing that you wore comfortable shorts tonight. His other hand gripped your waist, fingers going underneath your shirt.

“Gonna keep caressing you like this if you don't tell me what you want.”

He’s not making this any easier for you at all. You already felt too heated up at the slightest touch he gave you, saying out loud your desires is just outright embarrassing that you’d rather fade into thin air. But you were getting needier, and you trusted Gen more than you trust anyone.

Breathlessly, you tightly grabbed his shirt, finally giving in. “Gen… Gen, please, need something, need you—wanna feel good, please.”

Hearing this, he wasted no time slotting his lips against yours, earning a whine from you. Without pausing, he wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you, sitting you back down on his lap. His hands wandered almost everywhere—your thighs, arms, the plushness of your ass, and the shape of your waist. With newfound courage, your tongue sought entrance to his mouth, causing him to groan and squeeze your asscheeks.

His hands found their way through the inside of your shirt, trailing all the way up to cup your breasts. He suddenly pulled away from the kiss, a string of saliva connecting you. With hooded eyes, you raise a brow at him in confusion.

He kissed your nose. “Let me know if I do something that makes you uncomfortable. I’m giving you a free pass to punch me too.”

You snort. “Didn't know you can still crack a joke. But of course, I’ll take your words to heart. Please continue?”

“Mhm… You're so needy.” he said, pulling your shirt up along the process, revealing your sports bra underneath. You still wear these even at night?

Deciding to tease you, he lightly pinched your nipples through your bra, causing you to whine and arch your back towards him, your hands finding purchase in his hair. “Don't tease. Please, need more. Wanna feel your mouth everywhere, Gen.”

Satisfied with this, he hummed and removed your sports bra and shirt in one go, tongue immediately teasing the surrounding of a nipple and a hand on the other.

Your breath shuddered at the sensation, now fully aware of how close you're hugging him to you.

His mouth moved to the other breast and sucked, groaning at how hard your nipple has become. You hear him speak throughout his ministrations, your whines turning into moans at how lewd his sucking sounds. “Mmpf… So soft, you're so fucking turned on. I bet you're drenched down there right now,” he groaned.

One of his hands supported the back of your head, the other going around your waist. “Wrap your legs around me.” he said.

You did as he asked, moving to lay you down on his futon. He moved his way down, pulling your shorts off of you along the process. He held your legs apart, staring with awe at the wetness evident in your panties. He pressed his thumb to your still covered pussy, earning a whine from you. “Gen, more. Please, do something, anything. Need to come.”

Wordlessly, he moved your panties to the side, cursing at the sight of your fully exposed wetness. “God, you're practically dripping. How shameless you are, really.” he teased. “Since you started with my controller, how about…”

He started another round of game on his BS5, setting the difficulty to the highest mode—that’ll make the AI-controlled opponents continuously attack his unmoving character, causing the controller to vibrate nonstop.

You held your breath in anticipation, getting needier at his idea. The game started, and he pressed the controller to your dripping hole as he felt it vibrate. Your back arched, surprised at the sudden sensation. “H-hah…! Give me a warning next time!”

He just shrugged and continued, moving the controller to your clit. “Fuck… Gen, i-it’s vibrating too hard— Mmph! Feels so good, hah…” Hearing your moans fueled him to turn you into an even greater mess, pressing it harder to your clit and two of his fingers easily entering your dripping hole.

The sensation felt too overwhelming, your moans echoing in his room, body uncontrollably spasming. It's been far too long since you've felt such intense pleasure, and you haven't even come yet! Your legs would've closed together if it weren't for his wide figure, leaving you with no choice but to grab on one of his arms instead, your other hand finding purchase on his futon.

He's so relentless—uncaring of how loud you’ve become, just focused on fucking you with his fingers. He hears you moan his name repeatedly, your head tossing and turning. He feels you getting tighter, a sign of your imminent orgasm.

The gradual, violent shocks from his controller almost rendered your clit numb, one last vibration finally making you gush around his fingers. Your hand tightened its grip on his arm, the hand on his futon covering your mouth as you fell into a silent scream, back arching. Gen mutters a series of curses at the sight of you unraveling before him, fucking you with his fingers throughout your orgasm.

He pulled his fingers out when he heard you whine, aware of how sensitive your hole is. You call him, “Gen. That was… unbelievable.”

“Oh yeah? That better be. But I’m not done with you yet.” he said, a devilish grin adorning his face. “I’ve yet to get a taste of you. Need to clean and drink you up.”

“Wait—!”

He placed his hands at your thighs, lifting them to place them on his broad shoulders. He wasted no time lapping up your juices, the feeling of his tongue making you shudder. His tongue got a taste of your come-slicked hole, moving to swirl it around your clit. This causes you to grip his hair, your other hand pinching your own nipples.

The slurping sounds from your pussy sounded too obscene, him making it known to you that he was definitely having the time of his life devouring you like this. “Gen… too sensitive. But—hah… Wanna come on your tongue, please.”

Good heavens, he wasn't even fingering you, but you can feel your liquid arousal dripping out of you. Gen’s licking on your clit turned your heavy breaths into high pitched moans, the lower half of your body starting to spasm. You felt him wrap his lips around your clit, now sucking it hard, causing you to come even harder than before.

He wiped his mouth at the back of his hand, moving up to slowly kiss you full on in the mouth. Your weakened arms wrapped around his shoulders, welcoming his relaxing gesture.

After a while, he pulled away, a smug grin on his face. “I’m a whole lot better than my gaming controller, aren't I?”

Seriously? Is that why he started this?

You rolled your eyes. “I never said it was better than you. Also, what happened to ‘should've fucked you’? Your dick’s still in your pants, mister.”

You felt his hands slide down your legs, moving it to cross over his back. “Never said we’re done.” He grinded his painfully obvious erection on your drenched pussy, a sign that the night is yet to end.

You silently prayed you’ll be able to walk tomorrow — you have a whole bunch of officers to train, or else you’ll get a week’s worth of scolding from Hasegawa!

[xxcallmemaryxx]

Vessels x GN reader!

Gaming with the Vessels ~ Headcannons.

Under the cut <3

Vessel considers any time spent with you, quality bonding. You two could be arguing and he’d still consider it bonding time because youre together and throwing words at each other. So when it comes to gaming, oh boy is he ready to shut the world out and spend this time with you. Vessel is a big gamer nerd HE HAS CONFIRMED THIS HIMSELF and being able to share this love for it with you is so unreal to him. He will get all the snacks. He will get all the fun drinks. He will make a fucking fort if you want it. He’s fluffing all the pillows and getting all the soft blankets you two have and wrapping you both up in front of the tv. He’s so excited for this he’s shaking. He will play whatever you want to play, however you want to play it. He doesn’t care in the moment, he just likes that you’re here with him and you’re enjoying something together.

If you like to play co-op games his little character is following your character around everywhere. Exploring maps and completing quests together. He probably takes screenshots of your characters standing close together because it’s you and him in another universe, and they’re in love in that one too. It’s all laughs and smiles all night. He shows you his favourite games and he lets you show him how to play yours. He will go into deep deep detail about the history and lore and theories surrounding his beloved games. Gushing about them and about how they were made and the mechanics behind them, it’s lovely listening to him yap about the things he loves. All while being so snuggled up impossibly close under layers and layers of blankets and in your comfiest clothes. It’s always fun gaming with Vessel. And it always ends in you both conking out with your controllers in your hands because you don’t want to call it a night. You’re slumped together, you’ll probably wake up with sore backs from not sleeping right, but neither of you will care because it was fun.

II gets competitive. He will deny it with his last dying breath, but the truth comes out the moment you turn on something as simple as Mario Kart. He acts all chill and nonchalant about it, trying to prove to you he isn’t competitive, but it takes a total of about 10 minutes before he’s jumping up from the couch to get a better hold on his controller, because that helps for some reason. He will absolutely stand in front of you so you can’t see the screen. He will slap your controller out of your hands and on to the floor. He will push your face into a pillow and hold it there so he can get ahead. And don’t even get me started on his celebrations when he wins. He’s jumping in the air and he’s screaming his victory. He needs the whole street to hear he just won apparently.

His attitude switches right up when his controller dies mid game though. He’s yelling at the damn thing like it just ruined his life and he’s rushing to snatch your controller from your hands so you don’t win either. One time he got so panicked he was about to lose he turned the console off. He got in big trouble after that. But still swears up and down he’s not competitive when it comes to games. You have to force him to play some cozy games with you. To settle down and enjoy a slower night with you. But even II would turn something like minecraft into a challenge. Who can build a better house. Who can build it faster. Who can find diamonds first. He’s a pain in the ass to game with but he makes it interesting every time so you can’t complain. And it’s nice to give him pouty kisses when you get your hands on a full set of diamond armour before him.

III is a big gamer as well, is well versed in first person shooters like COD. He’s the one who seeks you out to sit with him while he plays. Pulls you into his lap on his desk chair and keeps you close while he literally obliterates every single enemy that comes at him. He’s a bit of a show off about it. Makes sure you’re watching every time he wins a round or does something cool. He likes to explain the game to you as well. What every button does. What the point of the game is. What he wins if he completes certain achievements. What each icon means. You’ll know that he’s completely zoned in when he goes quiet. But not without pulling you closer to him first. He rests his chin on your shoulder and plays his game from behind you. He’s in his element like that. His favourite human in the world watching him play his favourite games. He considers you his lucky charm because he kills it every time he’s got you like this.

Nearly throws his controller at you when you ask to play a round. He’s so excited. He explains everything to you that you know you won’t remember. But he holds his big hands over yours as you hold the controller and presses your fingers into the right buttons to properly show you what they do. You might not be as good at it as he is, especially for your first time playing whatever game it is, but he praises you so well for everything you do anyway. You might die about five hundred times before the round ends but he’s scooping you up and telling you that you did so well and you’re already so much better that the game than he was when he first picked it up. Know secretly know you’re not, but it’s clear his pride lies in getting to share this with you. Teaching you how to play and watching you have a go and trying to learn something he loves, just makes his heart want to explode. He’s smothering you in kisses every time you do anything. Later that night you hear him talking to IV over his headset, gushing about you and how well you did earlier. He’s just so proud.

IV looooooves to indulge you. You wanna drag him to the couch and show him all the cool things you did on your favourite game? He’s right there listening to every word. You want him to show you how to play his favourite game? He’s wrapping your pretty fingers around the controller and guiding you through each button as you go. He likes playing co-op games the most with you. Enjoys it when your in game characters look like you two, makes sure you know your characters are also dating. In every single game. No arguing. You two have matching controllers as well. You each bought controllers in your favourite colours and then swapped the joysticks so he has yours and you have his. Now you have his favourite colour on your controller and vice versa. He likes knowing there’s a little piece of you with him even if you’re not playing with him that day.

Should there be a game you play, in which your character gets flirted with, you’re banned from playing it. The second he catches wind of it he’s pulling you from your game and making excuses to keep you off it. Refuses to let you play it when he’s home, but likes to hide the game from you when he isn’t home. He’s a big sook about it. Tells you that he can just flirt with you in real life, no silly character from a game can do it better than he can. Which is very true, but also, you have to remind him this person is pixels. There’s no need to sook about it. He pretends to gag if he hears whatever this character is saying, bans you from speaking their name in your home. Will absolutely make his characters look big and strong and sexy so his character can protect your character. Will make snide comments about his game character being way better. It’s funny, so you laugh about it all the time, but IV will always love gaming with you.

[as-is-above-so-below]

The Captain - Simon Riley x Sniper!Reader, Wife!Reader

Knackered & Insatiable

summary: Ghost’s sniper wife (reader) joins Task Force 141 on an op, against his wishes warning: MDNI, mentions of violence and death (ofc), blood, SMUT Note: I cannot believe how much you guys LOVED Part 1!!! I've written three pieces in my life (check out my Ao3 for my other works lol) and none of them have ever gotten this much of a response. Thank you so much for your praise and overwhelming support, it really means a lot to me as a first-time writer :) Enjoy and blessed be! << Previous | Next >>

Ghost swirled the drink in his glass before lifting his mask up just enough to sip his whiskey. The team had insisted on getting to know his wife before they returned to England and Ghost “stole her away forever”, as they’d put it. He knew damn well, now that she’d met everyone, there wasn’t a chance in Hell she would let that happen. And while he may put on a good show of being a grump about it, secretly, he was glad. It was almost nice to see her mingling with his frie–team over a few drinks (hers being a bottle of water) and a football (she would call it a “soccer ball”, but he digressed). 

He watched Soap, Gaz, and Freyja bobbing around the open space, kicking the ball back and forth, occasionally playing keep away. Gaz slid at her in an attempt to knock the ball loose from her control, which she swiftly countered and danced around him, laughing maniacally as the man shouted at her in protest. His lips tugged at the corner in a grin, shaking his head lightly at her antics.

She’d dressed down into her standard t-shirt but kept her boots and uniform pants on, her hair tied back out of her face. Without her gear or outerwear, even her oversized shirt, her bump protruded slightly where the shirt tucked into her belt. He’d been told that every person carried differently; her bump was small, due in part to her exercise regimen. God, he’d missed her.

He’d even been gracious enough to allow her time to gossip with his teammates, spilling (some) details about their relationship. How they met (work), who made the first move (classified), how Simon proposed (he didn’t); so gracious that he let a few embarrassing remarks slip past his radar.

Just a few.

“Did you know he has stretch marks–”

He whistled through his teeth. “Oi, watch it,” he warned, jerking his hand in front of his neck as to say ‘cut it’.

“But the stretch marks, Si!”

Ghost’s eyes traced her movements, wild hands pointing at her thighs, hips, underarms, and knees. He chastised her with a warning sound, and the three huddled together in whispers, no doubt continuing to quietly discuss topics they shouldn’t. He had a feeling he would be seeing a lot more of his fellow soldiers outside of the base. They eventually continued their game again.

Price took a seat next to him on the bench. Ghost said nothing. “How far along are you now?”

He took a deep breath, calming himself. Bold of Price to ask about the child he willingly endangered. “Fourteen weeks.”

John’s head bobbed, and he leaned back against the building behind them with his arms crossed. “Still struggling with the morning sickness, I see?”

That much was obvious. “The doctor said it should clear up soon. Usually only lasts ‘til ‘bout now,” he explained, still not meeting his eyes, choosing to follow his wife.

Silence passed between the two, the chirps of native bugs and shenanigans from the team filling the air.

The weight of his upper body on his forearms became uncomfortable, and Ghost sat back too. He sighed through his nose, keeping his sight forward. “I didn’t ask you not to call her for this job as your Lieutenant. I asked as your friend.”

John hesitated, mulling over the fact as he carefully chose his next words. He didn’t come up with much. “I know. I’m sorry.” What else was there to say?

Nothing.

Ghost nodded once, satisfied, and threw back the remains of his drink. The most important thing was that she was okay now. He knew the Captain was desperate for another player on that mission, and he was confident Price wouldn’t do it again.

Price seemed to understand that he had been forgiven. “Want another?”

“Negative, sir. She’ll lose steam in a minute.”

Sure enough, as predicted, she gave up her game and relented the ball to Kyle. Soap cheered with his arms in the air, sloshing his beer a bit with the motion. Freyja looked over her shoulder at him and raised a brow, eyes shifting toward their building. He acknowledged her request as she wished the others a good night's rest, rising to follow her to bed. Ghost fell into step a few paces behind her when a sharp whistle caught his ear. He turned his shoulder to look, and saw Soap with his hand out, gripping an imaginary leash with his tongue out as Gaz walked ahead of him like a dog.

He flipped them off and continued behind her.

~*~

The minute they returned to his quarters, Freyja had thrown herself down onto the bed like a sack of potatoes, not even bothering to strip out of her uniform. Ghost took her idea and, in his uniform, carefully straddled her waist. He offered her each of his hands, and she immediately went to work removing his gloves, smiling warmly at him. She gingerly traced the outline of his lips through his mask, a questioning look in her eyes. He accepted and tilted his chin up, allowing her to slip under the edge of the mask, drawing it up and off his head, leaving him with just the black paint on his face. Freyja plopped it on the headboard above them with his gloves.

“There he is.” Her cheeks were warm and rosy from the dry heat of the area, and all of the jogging she did outside.

“Hi, sweethear’.”

She tugged him down by his blonde locks at the nape of his neck, capturing his lips in hers. He dropped his weight onto his forearms, keeping away from her belly while his lips moved slowly against hers. A month had passed since he saw her, let alone touched her. However, when she nipped fiercely at his bottom lip, pulling a soft moan from Simon–

“Love,” he groaned, forcing himself to break away, as much as it pained him. “I don’t have it in me right now. I’m absolutely knackered.”

Freyja turned up a brow at him. “Wow. I’ve never heard that one before. Are you okay?” she asked, rubbing her thumbs against his cheekbones.

His head leaned into her touch, melting in the palms of her hands. The effect she had on him was something he’d never experienced before and was what drew him to the soldier. Quick and cunning, skilled and strong, but also impossibly loving and soft and gentle. Nobody had ever shown him the kind of attention she did, and he found himself craving it when they would inevitably separate for deployment. 

He didn’t want to argue with his wife again after not seeing each other for so long, but the pit in Simon’s chest wasn’t budging either. Simon sighed and turned his head, pressing a kiss to her fingers. “I was serious when I said I’m pissed.”

“Simon, I know I shouldn’t have–”

“No, just– let me talk.” He brushed a loose hair from her forehead. “I…I don’t ask much of you. I asked – no, told you to do one thing. To stay home and protect our baby.”

Her brows pinched together, maintaining eye contact with him. “Simon, I can take care of myself,” she whispered, a bit confused.

“I know you can. I’ve seen you in the field, seen what you can do. You’re capable of slaughtering dozens of men at a time without breaking a sweat.” Simon rolled his shoulders to move off of her, laying on his back to stare at the ceiling. He rarely got so upset with her, if ever. Even rarer that he became a stuttering mess that couldn’t string a sentence together properly. He hated the feeling. “Why did you do tha’? What if you’d gotten hurt? What if someone comes after you when I’m not around? Wh–”

“Stop. You’re spiraling again.” Freyja turned onto her side, worried eyes studying his features. He’d picked up the habit since the pregnancy tests (seven of them to be exact) turned positive. “I–I know I messed up. I’m so, so sorry, Si. I didn’t…didn’t want to hurt you. I promise I won’t go out again. I just–” Her eyes watered, and she dragged the heel of her palm against the dampness on her cheek. “I’m h-having such a hard time. I love this baby, but I feel so–so useless just sitting at home.”

Oh, sweetheart… “Budge up,” Simon muttered, his voice gravelly as he tapped her thigh and scooched down a bit himself. His right arm slipped under her hip while the other tugged her shirt up to reveal their growing baby. Simon smiled softly at the sight and peppered kisses all over her bump. He eventually nuzzled into her chest and draped her leg over his hip before wrapping that arm around her waist. “I’m sorry I ‘aven’t been round. I know how much you miss work. But just look at this precious thing you’re making, Frey; you’re creating a whole person in there. My strong, drop-dead gorgeous wife and beautiful son–”

“Or daughter.”

Simon’s deep chuckle vibrated against her chest and belly, warmth blooming there. “Right. Or daughter,” he pressed another kiss to her chest. “You’re the strongest person I know. Just you watch. I’ll be home for a good long while now; we can work something out with Price, and get you some desk duty so you’re not sat at home twiddlin’ your thumbs all day. Keep you busy, yeah?”

Freyja nodded in agreement, smiling down at her husband. “Okay,” she croaked, sniffling a bit.

“Good. Now go to sleep, love. I really am knackered.”

“I love you, Simon.”

“I love you too, Frey.”

~*~

Soap rapped his knuckles against the door for his Lieutenant’s quarters after (again) failing to locate Captain Riley in hers. He waited for a breath and was about to knock again when he heard an affirming grunt from the other side of the door.

“Aye, if I see any naked bodies–” He poked his head into the room, finding the two tangled up in each other. Fully clothed, thankfully. He barely caught the bare strip of Simon’s cheek from his angle. He immediately piped down when he realized she was still sleeping. “Lieutenant?”

“Wot?” he grumbled, not moving from his comfortable position. Soft and warm.

John remained silent, eyes shifting between Simon and the sleeping body next to him.

“What do you need, Sergeant.”

“I don’t want to wake ‘er, sir,” he whispered in a hushed voice. He truly didn’t want to face the consequences of waking a pregnant Riley. He was, however, less worried about the wrath of his Lieutenant and more about his other half.

Simon turned his chin up slightly, focusing on her steady, soft breaths and even heartbeat. In the first weeks of her pregnancy, before leaving for deployment, she had taken to sleeping like a rock. Obviously, that fact was still true. He settled back into her t-shirt.

“She’s fine. Speak.”

Soap hesitated but took his word for it. “Ah, Captain said we’re good to go. Wheels up in thirty.”

He grunted again, still unmoving. ”Alright. We’ll be ready.”

He could sense the Scot still stuck in his doorway, continuing to disturb his peace, and his irritation grew. “Quit hoverin’, Johnny. I said we’ll be ready. Get out,” he all but growled.

“Sorry, sir.” Soap turned to leave but stopped himself. “Almost fo’got, wanted to give ya’s a warnin’, it’s pishin’ it doon out there.”

His patience had grown thin and irritability impossibly higher. “Speak. English.”

Soap’s mouth opened with a turned lip, just about to quip a snarky retort–

“It’s raining fuckin’ hard.”

His eyes blew wide, jaw dangled loosely, staring at the previously silent form the soft, sleepy voice came.

“Thank you, love.”

“I—How— Beg your pardon?” John stuttered, pointing between Freyja and Ghost in utter shock.

Her grip on her husband tightened with a groan, eyes fluttering as she tried to adjust to the morning light. “What? What did I do?” she mumbled, curving her back inward to stretch, her neck popping.

“But–I don’t– You know Scots?”

“Oh. I suppose. Cannae ge’ the accent righ’, though,” she said, exhibiting what was indeed her very poor attempt at a Scottish accent.

Still, he gawked at them, unmoving. He eventually snapped out of his reverie, a wicked smile creeping onto his face. “Jesus, I’m sorry Lt. but I think I’m gettin’ hard,” he teased, the tip of his tongue sticking out between his teeth.

Simon blindly reached for the mask above his head, scooting up a bit for a quick kiss before slipping it on. The black war paint around his eyes remained, but more worn and smudged with sleep. The Sergeant Oooh’d in the background. “Johnny, what did I tell you ‘bout flirting wit’ my wife?” He swung his legs over the side of the bed in a sitting position.

Freyja followed him, sitting up and pressing her chest against Simon’s back. She wrapped her arms around him, rubbing her palms across his sternum and abdomen, fingers dipping into the ridges of his muscles. “Simon, you really shouldn’t make threats you don’t intend to keep,” she pressed her lips against the warm skin at the back of his neck. He hummed softly, leaning back into her.

“Who said I won’t?”

“Alright, alright, I’m not tryna cock-block,” Soap threw his hands up in defense, backing out of the doorway. “I’m goin’. Tarmac in thirty.”

The door clicked shut behind him, leaving the couple alone again. Simon moved to stand but was immediately restricted by her arms and legs as she whined. “Can I help you?” he asked, settling back down and glancing at her over his shoulder.

Freyja rose to her knees and tugged at his shirt, untucking it from his waistband. “Maybe,” she said against the side of his throat. “Depends.”

“On?”

“Are you Simon,” her fingers pressed into his waist. She licked a stripe on his thrumming pulse before closing her mouth over the spot, sucking generously. Simon hissed through his teeth and dropped his head against her shoulder. “Or Ghost?”

“God, you are insatiable.”

“Only when you don’t give me what I want.”

“And wha’s that?”

“Been a while since you fucked me stupid, yeah?”

A deep growl tore from him, and he whipped around, pouncing on her. The balaclava and skull plate flew across the room. His lips crushed hers, teeth and tongues smashing together. Rough fingers wrapped around her throat, holding her down to the mattress as he leaned over her. “Your British is fuckin’ shit.”

“Mmm, what’re you gonna do about it?” she challenged, smirking against his mouth. She loved instigating him, even more so now that her hormones were through the roof. The last week at home had been almost unbearable. 

Freyja’s eyelids flickered at the sudden pressure, not enough to cut off oxygen but enough to effectively shut her up. She felt her walls flutter at the sensation, a puddle forming in her underwear.

“Good girl,” Simon practically purred, dragging his lips down to the underside of her chin, nipping at the skin, followed by a soothing lick at the affected spot. His free hand crawled down her body, rising and falling over the various curves before stopping at her pants. “Is this what you want?”

She nodded vigorously, so he swiftly unfastened the fatigues and dove his hand in. “Mmm, so needy for me. I’ve barely even started, sweetheart,” he slipped two fingers through her soaked lips, sucking a bruise at her throat. He ground his aching bulge against the edge of the bed, searching for some relief. Simon swirled tight but lazy circles around her clit with her collected juices, getting a muffled moan. “Like that?”

“Mhm…”

“Use your words, Frey.”

“F-Fuck– Need you, Si, n-now.”

He cocked his head to the side, releasing her throat to unbutton and unzip his pants. “Already? I’m feelin’ a bit, peckish love. Not gonna let me have a taste?” He slid down to his knees, nibbling down over her t-shirt and pulling the zipper of her pants.

“NO!” She shouted, and his eyes shot up to hers with a brow quirked. “N-No, I need you to fuck me. Please, Simon,” she begged, her voice desperate.

“Fast and hard, eh? A’right.” Simon stood, then hooked his hands behind her knees, yanked her to the edge of the bed, and flipped her over, her feet firmly planted on the floor. “Careful,” he pressed softly against her bump, keeping her stomach off the bed.

The sniper growled at him, starting to get frustrated. “Simon, I swear to fucking God– Ah!” she squeaked when a much firmer hand shoved her face into the mattress.

“Naughty girl… I’m getting there. Be patient,” he ordered. He waited until she showed her understanding with another sharp nod. Simon finally pulled her pants and panties down to her knees. “Fuckin’ Hell,” he moaned, admiring the view as he dropped his pants enough to pull himself out, giving himself a few strokes. “Who’s this cunt belong to?” he asked, dragging the tip through her folds.

“You, it's all yours!”

Eager to please, Simon rested one palm on the small of her back as the other slowly eased himself into her. His head dropped back, unable to help the soft moans and whimpers at her walls around him. “F-fuck, never get sick of this sweet cunt,” he stilled himself in her when he bottomed out. “Not even in you for a second ‘n I already wanna cum.”

She pulled her hips forward, desperate for him to move and, as promised, fuck her senseless. Bruising fingers gripped the extra flesh at her hip with a groan. “Naughty,” he repeated, drawing out of her to the tip before diving back in just as slowly. “Maybe if ya beg some more, I’ll give it to ya.”

Freyja whined as his cock dragged painstakingly slowly along her insides. “P-please, please fuck me, Simon. I need your cock so bad. I’m desperate,” she begged, her hands shaking as she gripped the scratchy blanket under her with white knuckles. “Been w-waiting so long for you to come home, please!”

Simon twitched inside her, his wife’s begging scratching just the right spot in his brain. “Ngh, fuck Frey.” He slammed into her, his eyes rolling into the back of his head while he started a steady pace.

“God, Simon, ‘s so good–”

“Look at me,” he said, turning her chin with his thumb and forefinger. “Say it again…My name.”

Her smirk almost immediately wiped off her face when he brushed her clit again, eliciting another breathy, gasped moan. “Simon!”

“Mmm, again.”

“S-Simon…fuck!”

“Cum for me, love, cum on my cock. Wanna feel you–”

She stared into his eyes, the sounds of his hips slapping her hips, the wet sounds of her sex thrumming between them, and her heavy pants thrumming between them until she finally pulsed around him, her pitch kicking up an octave. “Ah, Simon, I-I’m cumming, fuck!”

“Jesus fuck–! Y/N, Y/N,” he whined, choking on her name as the tight coil inside him snapped and spilled into her, his hips stuttering. Simon’s chest rested against her back when he dropped his hand next to her for support. He stilled, echoing her name over and over while he pumped her full of his cum. She was grinning back at him over her shoulder and dragging her nails up and down his forearm, humming at the warm pool inside her.

Simon slid his free hand under the back of her shirt, stroking between her shoulder blades. They stood unmoving, panting, staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity. His spend was starting to creep out around him, turning into milky drops threatening to break free and fall to the floor. He could stay like that forever, her gaze holding his as he warmed his cock in her–

“Hey Ghost–”

THUNK

The tip of a black combat knife sank into the soft wood of the door frame, a breath away from his nose. Kyle stopped short of passing through the threshold, the door only open a crack. “Bad time, got it,” he said, his voice cracking a bit before the door clicked shut again. “Sorry!” his voice muffled by the door between them before his footsteps scurried away.

Freyja giggled and pressed her face into the mattress, attempting to stifle her laughter.

“Not funny.”

“Really? I thought it was a little bit funny, Lieutenant,” she said, wiggling her hips against his. Simon’s breath hitched, and both hands shot back to stop the movement.

“Ey, none’a that. Be a good girl or you won’t be getting a thing out of me later,” he threatened, raising a blonde brow in challenge. She pouted up at him in return but nodded with a disgruntled Fine, slowly leaning forward until he popped out of her with a groan. The woman eased herself up until she stood fully and turned to face him, standing on her tiptoes to reward him with a sweet, lazy kiss. When Simon was least expecting, she swiped a finger along his dick, causing him to jerk at his sensitivity, collecting their mixed fluids before popping the digit into her mouth. “You’re a minx, y’know that?”

“Mhm.”

“Hn.” He pulled her panties and underwear back up for her, fingers lovingly caressing their growing baby when he went to button them again. He wasn’t proud to admit that he hadn’t reacted well to the initial news of his wife’s pregnancy. Simon had never wanted children or a family before her, given his experiences with his own as a child. The last thing he wanted was to turn out like his father, an abusive, mean drunk with a violent streak and an inclination for scaring the pants off little Simon. 

That all changed at their first ultrasound. The soft thrum of the baby’s heartbeat echoed off the walls of the small room and burned into his mind on a constant playback. His baby. Their baby.

Mine. 

He supposed the second-trimester hormones were a nice touch, too.

taglist: @esthervalea, @miss-leto, @lethalchiralium, @sweetestcowboy, @blueoorchid, @apocalypticseagull, @eatingtheworldsoffanfiction, @covenlovenn, @330bpm-whiplash, @gnoccheyy, @jaggernauticals, @dwkfan, @untoldshortsofthefandomsdoms, @bobfloydsgf, @maviee, @thomaslefteyebrow, @kyovy

Copyright © 2023 as-is-above-so-below. All rights reserved.

[smilesession]

I don’t want to reblog or repost it to mock it because i know OP’s heart was in the right place but i just saw a post about how to overcome executive dysfunction, basically the point being how to practice discipline and gain mental fortitude and that it’s possible for anyone. nice! but it contained a list of suggested activities that included video games three times, suggested listening to “long form audio content such as podcasts and audiobooks”, and suspiciously entirely omitted things like…reading a book, setting small goals for chores and housekeeping, and anything else that’s actually tangibly beneficial to the stated goal. the post suggested playing picrews and dress up games

i don’t know if im just being callous and out of touch and there’s some demographic of poor souls out there who are both 1. literate, self-critical, and engaging with long form tumblr posts 2. too helpless to the vortex of their own mind to play picrews or video games or listen to audiobooks without being prompted. As someone who has been utterly helpless to the vortex of my own mind, I had “EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTION” so badly in my youth that I spent entire days not even getting out of bed to drink water, I have to constantly beat the executive dysfunction away with a broom like it’s a bat flying around my house. And the only things that meaningfully chip away at this involve facing it head-on. You can’t cheat your way out of it. You just have to start reading longform books and cleaning your house and exercising. The only way out is through

[dseval]

ArchiveVerse Cross

(sorry if the quality is butchered everyone Ibis paint is uncooperative today)

Finally, i'm able to work on ArchV content, with my favourite character, Cross. More under the cut.

Cross is the first one to get a 'reference sheet' or a character intro, since he's the first one to kickstart this AU too. Expect more ArchiveVerse charcaters to receive the treatment in the future.

(though for now Delta is next, because i absolutely hate his current archv design, and i'm redoing it. If you had anyone you're interested in seeing next, please tell me.)

I actually don't know how to format this post, though, so sorry if the information is all over the place (or if it's too much information). To understand most of the things I write here, please refer to my ArchiveVerse post.

★Info★

Cross, a student from the Omega Public School (OPS), used to be a normal student. That is, until he got caught in trouble along with Ink and a student from Juvie, Error. Ink was let off scot free, but Cross wasn't so lucky. Due to the troubles he caused, he was quickly arrested and thrown to the Juvenile Containment. Much to his own displeasure.

There, as much as he distances himself, he made friends with the other students contained there (Dust, Killer, Horror, and Nightmare). Though, it doesn't deter him from grinding hard for credits and speedrunning his community service to be released fast and quick from Juvie. He succeeded.

After graduating from the Juvenile Containment, Cross returned to OPS, and swore to just become a normal student, avoiding having himself thrown into Juvie again. He tries his best to steer clear from trouble, though the other Juvie students seem to bring that trouble to him, often dragging him along to their mischief.

Quick facts:

His height is 180 cm (probably he's the third tallest character in archv)

Cross's powers are Lightning, and on the side, he has small matter manipulation powers, able to break down molecules, though he hasn't explored his capabilities with this yet.

His powers are volatile, and he still had difficulties controlling it. Occasionally he'd accidentally zap someone when he touched them. Purple sparks of lightning also fizzle out of his fingertips when he's flustered or nervous.

He wears at least three layers of clothing.

Cross has been described as handsome, with long legs.

He rides his bicycle everywhere, often going for rides in the weekend too.

Cross always brings his school bag whereever he goes, in it are chocolate energy bars, and other utilities.

His eyelights are starry whenever he's overjoyed (this is his swap sans trait guys)

Every student in OPS has their own house, Cross makes sure to keep his living space tidy and neat.

Character relationships:

(These are only the ones i can mention off the top of my head)

Cross and Dream hangs out sometimes. To drink latter or get breakfast. Cross really admires him.

He often hangs out at the arcade with Delta, Epic, and Color. Delta seems somewhat hellbent on beating him at anything, Cross felt like he can't lose. Epic and Color plays a cooking game.

Dust, who was banned from entering most merch stores and malls, often sent Cross for fetch quests to get him any new Ice-e merch. Cross finds this annoying but obliges.

Killer and him often zap each other back in juvie, he still have black spots and bruises in several parts of his body. Nowadays, they still zap each other sometimes, Killer mostly for teasing— and Cross, on accident.

Horror and him often went to all-you-can-eat events together, they also exercise together occasionally.

Even out of Juvie, Cross still calls Nightmare by 'boss'. Nightmare finds it embarrassing of him.

Cross rarely met Ink, still somewhat wary that Ink will drag him into some sort of trouble. Though, he doesn't hate him.

Credits (please tell me if I missed anyone!):

Cross Sans by Jakei

Artstyle inspired/taken directly from Mx2j, one of the artists for Blue Archive. The character intro format itself follows Blue Archive.

Mentioned characters: Dream & Nightmare Sans (Joku), Dust Sans (Ask-Dusttale blog), Killer Sans (Rahafwabas), Horror Sans (SourAppleStudios), Ink Sans (Comyet/Mye bi), Error Sans (CrayonQueen/LoverofPiggies), Epic (yugogeer012), Delta (AnimatedZorox), Color (superyomna)

[6okuto]

ASTROLOGY BOT

1.2k words, just timeskip akaashi overthinking and crushing on gn!reader. LOL

akaashi has always considered himself ‘on the fence’ when it comes to superstitions and signs from the universe.

he might say ghosts aren’t real, but never goes near a supposedly haunted site just in case. he’ll ignore videos titled “for you” if he can’t relate, say it must have been a sign only after something goes wrong, and never acts on them even if he knows he has to.

but he can’t deny that he thinks about it throughout the day when it’s something he hopes is true—that maybe he’s tried out a few filters and trends to see if you, his crush of way too long, were his soulmate.

it’s bokuto this time, though, that sends him a sign.

a tweet, really.

an astrology bot on twitter that tweeted 17 minutes ago— “sagittarius, tell them you like them. they like you, too.”

AKAASHI!!!

i told you!!!

i turned their post notifications on to see if they’d say anything funny again and LOOK!!!!

keiji watches his friend’s texts come in through as notifications, eyes mostly fixed on the tweet, re-reading it over and over.

it’s a minute before he texts back.

it’s just a bot bokuto

it doesn’t actually mean anything

but bokuto is typing replies in mere seconds,

awwwww come on :((

remember when they were like

be careful virgo they don’t have the best intentions >:(

and IT WAS ABOUT ME ALMOST GETTING SCAMMED!! THEY STOPPED A SCAM!!! O____O

whats the worst thing that could happen???

i mean.. well…at least the worst thing that could happen ISNT u losing a bunch of money T_____T

imagine if u lost hundreds of dollars bc u confessed ;——; scary…

keiji breathes out a laugh.

i won’t lose hundreds of dollars but it’d haunt me for the rest of my life like every other embarrassing thing that’s ever happened and u know that

but thank you

i’ll think about telling them

he’s vaguely aware of bokuto sending another text with his name in all caps before he turns off his phone. it lands somewhere beside him on his comforter, and he takes off his glasses if only to run his hands down his face.

there’s a feeling he gets, akin to both butterflies and a 10 meter drop, when one of these bots decides to let his imagination get away from him.

for a few minutes keiji lets himself think it might be true, and that you think about going on dates with him the same way he does with you.

the latest idea he had was taking you to a new board game cafe that had opened nearby. he had skipped then swiped back up to its ad—a perfect spot for couples looking to spice up a regular cafe date!

he hadn’t closed his curtains properly that night, and the moon lit up his room while he stared at the ceiling. would you be competitive? would you rather play a co-op game?

would you see him sipping on his drink, and ask to have a taste?

he thought about how he might accidentally have some foam above his lip, and how you’d softly laugh before tapping above your own to signal his appearance. he cringed at the possible humiliation of looking silly in front of you, but it went away with the foam you’d gently swipe with your thumb, or maybe even hold his face to kiss away instead. you’d tease him and say it was as sweet as him.

but it’s nonsensical.

as far as keiji knows, whoever runs the account is using a random generator to pick a sign and bullshitting every tweet in their drafts.

it’s almost always only a sentence anyway.

but does that mean it’s a sign that this one was two?

keiji forces himself to stop thinking and takes a deep breath, letting the warmth hit his palms still covering his face. silence washes over him, and he lets his ears focus on the traffic outside, and the sound of the washing machine running a couple of rooms away.

but then he thinks about you. and he scrunches his eyes shut and groans, hands moving to grip his hair before he rolls over onto his stomach.

there’s a thud as his phone hits the ground while he pulls the blanket to cover his head.

sagittarius, tell them you like them. they like you, too.

sagittarius, tell them you like them. they like you, too.

not just tell them you like them, as if it was a shove to be courageous for once, but they like you, too.

did you like him, too?

was he good enough for you to like him?

did you hate him?

was he going to trust an astrology bot as uninformed about your feelings as he was?

maybe more importantly, was he going to let a bot dictate whether he finally confesses to you after almost a year of pining? a year based on the fact that one day you held the elevator door open for him with a smile and already knew what floor he needed?

(you had noticed him as the new employee, though he didn’t notice you while busy getting used to his job. he made sure to note the fact you got off the floor above him so he could press the button for you next time.)

and keiji doesn’t really believe in signs or the supernatural. he doesn’t want to let himself, because if he does then there’s probably a ghost in that shut-down building on his way to work, he’s gotten himself twenty years of bad luck, and he’s big enough of a coward that the universe decided to take it upon itself to tell him that itself.

but he’s hiding under his blanket when the absurdity of it all hits him—the anxiety and what-ifs and pretending he didn’t know you liked going for lunch a little earlier than him, and that he didn’t plan his break to say hello—and he feels like he’s sixteen again.

and maybe if there’s one thing he doesn’t want to feel other than being rejected, he thinks it’s being sixteen again.

so he jolts up.

and somewhere, in the back of his mind, keiji wonders if the universe jolted up with him, excited to see where this goes.

adrenaline working, he reaches for his glasses and fumbles to put them on with one hand while the other feels the floor to find his phone. the bright screen makes him squint, and the notification of bokuto’s “AKAASHIII :((” welcomes him before anything else.

sagittarius, tell them you like them. they like you too.

the tweet seems to be engraving itself into his mind as his shaky fingers hold his phone, and he taps your icon.

he skims the last text you had sent,

thanks keiji!! i’ll see u tomorrow then :) and remember we get off early!

it's a little embarrassing how his chest tightens at you his name and a smiley face. but he goes to type one himself, spending a second to mentally tell the astrology account they’re changing lives, but nothing more or else he thinks he might throw up—

btw if you’re free, did you want to grab food after work? there’s a cafe i wanted to check out with you :)

[wolfjackle-creates]

Bring Me Home: Chapter 2 Part 2

It's Wednesday! Time for another WIP Wednesday. No Ghost!Robin today. I've been focusing more on this fic. I think I'm going to try and start alternating weeks, but there's no set schedule or plan and it's liable to change at a moment's notice.

Fic Summary: Tim and Danny are both neglected by parents who care more about their work than their families. They deal with this by spending too much time online and find each other playing MMORPGs. They keep up their friendship as Tim becomes Robin and Danny becomes Phantom and don't bother keeping secrets from each other.

First, Previous

1.3k words

----------

Cassie hissed, “What the fuck, Tim!”

“I know!” whispered Tim back. “Danny mentioned home security, but I had no idea it was like that!”

Bart shook his head. “Want help with that kidnapping scheme? I’ll join you on your road to villainy.”

“That’s the problem with Tim,” agreed Conner. “He makes the road to evil look like it’s really the best option. Count me in, too.”

Cassie groaned. “Damn it, you guys are right. I’m in.”

Before Tim could do more than flip them off, Danny was back. “The pop express has returned!”

Cassie was closest to the door and Danny passed over her drink first. Only to freeze as their fingers brushed.

“Oh,” said Danny who looked at their hands then up at Cassie and back to their hands. “Huh.”

“What’s wrong?” asked Cassie and Tim started to get a bad feeling.

Which was only worsened by Danny looking at him with a grin forming on his face. “Sooooo, Tim—”

“No!” Tim shook a finger at him. “You’d better not tell me what I think you’re about to tell me! You’re OP enough! No more!”

Danny raised an eyebrow. “You done?”

Tim sighed and decided to just collapse backwards onto Danny’s bed. He stared at the ceiling and waved a hand in the air. “Yeah. Go ahead.”

Danny, apparently, loved making him suffer and continued passing out the drinks without telling him what he discovered. Then the mattress dipped next to him and Danny was above him with a grin that wouldn’t melt butter.

“So, Tii-iim,” Danny sing-songed.

“Daaan-ny,” replied Tim in the same tone.

“Apparently I can sense metas. And aliens. Which is so cool. They feel so different to humans! I knew about my ghost sense, but didn’t realize that applied to other species.”

Tim just sighed and closed his eyes. “Of course you can.”

“Conner!” The mattress shifted again as Danny moved. “You feel like warm sunshine and it’s so cool. Bart, you feel like static. Which… little awkward for me, but it’ll be good. I should try and get over my fear of electricity. Cassie, you also feel like static, but in a totally different way. Can’t explain it any better than that.”

“Why is static a problem?” asked Bart.

At the same time, Tim said, “I’ll add it to the list. And the descriptions.” He cracked one eye open to look at Danny. “Will you promise to stop developing more powers for me?”

Danny laughed and nudged his knee. “No promises.”

Cassie looked between them. “Does this mean you know?” she asked Danny.

“Wonder Girl, right? And Superboy and Impulse?”

Cassie nodded. “And Tim told us about you.”

“My lips are sealed,” Danny promised.

Tim rolled his eyes and pushed himself up. “Just gimme my water and fix my phone.”

“Wow, Tim,” said Cassie. “Rude much?”

“No. Look, you’ve no idea how ridiculously OP Danny is. Almost every week he calls me saying he discovered something else he can do.”

“If you think that was rude,” added Danny with a laugh, “you should’ve seen the things he said to me when I got him killed in Elf Night.”

“Ugh,” Tim feigned annoyance. “Don’t remind me. Honestly, what were you thinking? You were a rogue! Why did you attack the boss head on like a barbarian? We lost weeks of game progress! Weeks, Danny!”

Danny just laughed and threw the water bottle at his face. Tim caught it easily.

“Just give me your phone, Slim-Slam.”

“Slim-Slam?” asked Conner.

“He tried to object to Tim-Tam. I made him regret it.”

Tim shook his head. “This was a mistake. Why the hell did I ever think it’d be a good idea to let you guys meet.” To hopefully get them to change the subject, he shoved his phone in Danny’s direction. “What do you need to do to this anyway?”

“We just need to make it compatible with ectoplasm. There’s enough ambient ecto in Amity that waiting a few weeks allows it to happen naturally, but that’s not an option for you guys. Tuck and I went through, like, fifty devices figuring out the exact quantities and locations to add ectoplasm to force the process without destroying the device. It took us ages, but we figured it out. Now Tuck and I get extra money from the tech geeks in town who don’t want to wait the month or so it usually takes for new devices to start working.”

“Speaking of Tucker, will I be able to meet him? And Sam? You’re meeting my friends, I want to meet yours.”

Danny shrugged. “Sure. I’ll text them to meet us at Nasty Burger in forty minutes.” He sat at his desk and set down Tim’s phone to do so. Then, he opened a drawer and pulled out a set of micropipettes and disposable tips in a variety of sizes along with an empty glass beaker. Then came out an electronics tool kit. Tim had a similar one, though Danny’s looked like it had been obtained piecemeal as nothing matched. Finally, he opened a different drawer and pulled out a vial of a glowing green liquid.

Tim pushed himself off the bed and moved to stand over Danny’s shoulder. His friends joined him.

Bart asked, “So what will you be doing? What’s that green stuff?”

“It’s ectoplasm. The stuff ghosts and their dimension are made of. Ectoplasm is… complicated. This is unshaped ectoplasm, also called pure ectoplasm. A ghost or sentient creature can impose their will on it and make it function in a specific way. Since I’ve died, I have an easier time shaping it than most humans. I’ll send ‘tech’ vibes at it to get it to fuse to the phone more easily and apply carefully determined quantities to the different parts of the phone.”

“‘Tech vibes.’” Tim couldn’t hold back the groan. “It’s like magic. I hate it.”

Cassie bumped her shoulder against his. “You get that from Bruce.”

“Damn right, I do.”

Tim watched as Danny popped out the sim card. “First thing I’ll do is add a hundred microliters to the sim card. Then I’ll take the screen off and get to work on the innards. Do you guys want new batteries, by the way? Tuck’s got a bunch of ecto-batteries. Could have him bring them along when we meet up. You’d never have to charge your phone again.”

“Hell yeah!” said Conner. “Sign me right up.”

Tim shook his head, but couldn’t hold back the smile. “What do you mean by never have to charge it again?”

“I mean an ecto-battery will power the phone longer than the computer in the phone will last. I’ve switched over all my electronics. Nothing in this house is hooked up to the electricity grid anymore. I haven’t used a wall plug in four months. Not since Tucker and I fixed the batteries my parents designed.”

Tim didn’t like the sound of that. “Two questions. First, if the battery outlasts the phone, how should we dispose of it. And two, more importantly, ‘fixed’? What the hell does that mean?”

Danny had finished with the sim card and discarded the pipette tip in the beaker. Then he set about removing the screen from the phone. “Just bring the phones back to me when you’re done with them. I’ll upgrade your new ones, too. And their designs were liable to explode, overload the device, or bring it to life so it attacked. But Tuck and I took care of all that. Now devices only attack if Technus manages to get through the portal.”

Tim could sense Conner trying to look at him, but he resolutely refused to look away from Danny’s hands. He was removing the cameras and adding more ectoplasm to them, though much less than the sim card needed.

Unable to get Tim’s attention, Conner asked, “Who’s Technus?”

Danny shrugged. “One of my rogues. Tuck thinks he’s the ghost of Nikolai Tesla. He’s interested in controlling all technology and will make himself a giant mechasuit cannibalized from any electronic he can find in, like, a half mile radius. Super annoying.”

---------

Next

So I've decided which episode of the show this will take place during! It's mid season 1, so Jazz knows about Danny but Danny doesn't know she knows. I don't think that contradicts anything I've written (need to reread it), but if it does, no it doesn't. I dunno if most of you know what micropipettes look like, but if there's any interest I can take pics at work tomorrow and post them so you can see what I mean when I talk about the tips and stuff. I meant to do that today and then I didn't.

Tag List

@gremlin-bot, @bonebrokebuddy, @britcision, @lady-time-lord-, @welcometosasakiworld, @akikkobara, @phoenixdemonqueen, @dolfay, @skulld3mort-1fan, @we-ezer, @markus209, @sjrose1216, @onyxlightdragon, @dragonsrequiem, @jesus-camp-the-sequel, @spidey29phangirl, @kyrianclawraith, @evilminji, @introvert-even-on-the-internet, @emergentpanda-blog, @lexdamo, @v-inari, @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit, @longlivethefallen, @undead-essence, @xye-chan, @liandrin, @seraphinedemort, @kisatamao, @schalensitzbucket, @caelestisdreamer, @runfromthemedic, @nutcase8691, @channajen, @tonicmii, @ambiguouslyominous, @vythika96, @addie-lover-of-stories, @ironicvixen, @violetfox2, @pickleking8, @mysticalcomputerdetective, @ark12, @mygood-bitch99, @squirrel-wolf

Getting close to the point where I'll have to split the tag list in two! (I'll still add anyone who is interested.)

[serxinns]

Who remembers when @thefiery-phoenix made class 1a x scarlet witch reader well I wanna make a part 2 (or my version of it) of it because I LOVE IT and because I want more op readers cause they're hated

Disclaimer: This is a gift for both @thefiery-phoenix and @lady-ashfade CAUSE I LOVE THEM and their fics please go support them

Part 4

Part 3

Part 2

Yandere class 1a (and some teachers) x scarlet witch reader Headcanons

Class 1a (romantic)

• Your powers are very strong and you knew that you could bend iron, and have chaos magic, telekinesis, Teleportation, energy manipulation, and light manipulation you were so powerful (not as powerful as the big 3 tho) that you got many praises from your elementary and middle school teachers but the other students despise that and called you a witch or a villain despise your past you were gonna keep going and be a hero! With your classmates totally not insanely infatuated with you supporting your goal!

• the class has been obsessed with you ever since day 1 there was always someone walking with you to class, school, and even home, and even when you arrived at home they would always spam text you about your day or did you arrvied safe at home, wanting to spend time with you, you it gets a bit annoying but you didn't mind much or see it wrong with it

• Whenever if it's lunchtime both Bakusquad and Dekusqaud fight over who gets to sit with you and whoever wins in the end both squads glare at each other or one evilly smirks while the other glares at each other

"They should sit with us!" ochako grabbed your hand and tugged you over to their table only to be stopped by Mina "Back off you already had a turn!" Mina glared at her "That's because you're always hogging them *kero*" Tsuyu said with a bit of venom in her voice "Not true!!" Both groups were going at each other arguing you were getting tired of this so you walked over to where Jiro, momo, tokoyami, and Ojiro sat and ate there while the group was busy fighting

"Are you ok dear?" momo asked worriedly while the others looked in concern "Yeah it's just them fighting again and I couldn't take it so im sitting here!" you smiled the group signed dreamily wishing you were theirs, they'll be the one to see that smile "you're always welcomed to eat with us whenever you don't wanna eat with them plus dark shadow always loves your company" tokoyami said while dark shadow was smiling and waving at you "aw guys you're the best!" you beamed unaware that dekusquad and bakusquad were sending a menacing glare at the group your sitting at they did a "we won you lose" smirk

•the class is VERY protective of you if you get a small injury from a villain battle or even a single scratch from a villain everyone is trying to assist you whenever you need something like a drink some more bandages or even carry you to the bathroom they would it's like a competition to them for who cares more for You

•in training your classmates would be pulling you around like a doll arguing about who will be your training partner and at the end of the day it gets so bad that Aizawa, mic, or Midnight had to step in and be your partner while they assign your classmates into their partners they all groan

•When hanging out Dekusquad would always either cuddle with you when it's movie night or a sleepover or whenever you walk beside them their hands are on you whether it be your shoulder, your hand, or even ur waist (if you're comfortable) anywhere for the bakusquad they would always go to trampoline places or arcade games to compete who gets the most tickets and would see who got the best gift for you. They would always flirt with you trying to get a reaction from you whether it be a flustered face or an annoyed glance they'll still be in awe

•Your classmates make sure you don't overwhelm your powers iida makes sure you don't overuse your quirk and tries to observe it Izuku would write down 4-5 pages about your quirk and maybe some unnecessary things about you too he needs to learn more about it he just has to even if it means to sneak in your room for it bakugo would try to make you spare with him and lecture about your skills and quirk and how you should use it safely Kirishima and mina is your hype friend they'll try to hype you up whenever your tryna spare katsuki even try to sneak in a new strategy or 2 but katsuki would always yell at them

•You and Koda have a bond because of animals he likes to about animals he helps you learn about nature and animals and would make flower crowns for you and him. he adores it when a bunch of birds fly on you and starts to nuzzle on your cheek he instantly Dies of cuteness right then and there and swore to always protect you

•You and Sato bonded because of your love for sweets he loves to make all sorts of pastries and if you don't like pastries that's ok he'll search up your favorite food and surprise it for you with a big smile on your face whenever he's baking he always let you be the taste tester he loves how your eyes sparkle and always complimenting his dishes it makes him more confident to bake more and whenever he makes a big batch he always have a leftover portion in a box or bag with a cute bow on top just for you

•Jirou loves to jam with you and makes you hang out in her room if you are a singer or play some type of instrument she will take you somewhere so that the two of you can be alone and y'all can jam out make jokes and talk about your favorite band she would always gift your my melody gifts while you gift her Kuromi merch or plushies you 2 even have matching my melo and kuromi hoodies

•Ojiro would always wants you to touch his tail every time he sees you his tag is wagging like a happy dog! He always wraps his tail around you whenever you cuddle with him or when you walk with him he wraps his tail around you whenever you're out in public ojiro usually hangs out with Tokoyami and Shoji cause they're the only people he trusts around you and he didn't mind he, loves to hold you up in the air or toss you up

•Shoji is like a giant puppy he sees you hurt wraps his arms around you and quickly finds safety whenever one of your classmates tries to check on you or tryna get you out of the fleshy cocoon he "Politely" tells them to back off and uses excuses like "they need rest" or "I'll quickly rush to recover girl (he would sneak you off into his room right after unless u had bad injuries ) needless to say he'll spoil you rotten with his amazing Hands and cuddles

•Tokoyami prefers to be in a quiet place alone with you so whenever you want to study to get your obsessive classmates off your back he would offer you to stay with him just in case you need some quiet time or wanna go to the food court to study tokoyami is a pretty good study/project partner if you get to know him, whenever your in trouble dark shadow would go feral like a wild animal for whoever messes with you tokoyami loves to hang out with you and dark shadow it lights up his world and he won't let anyone take his light

•Hakagure is like a lovesick puppy she would always follow you around ALL THE TIME wanting to talk, talk, talk but you didn't mind it was annoying but tolerated whenever you were asleep or hanging out with your classmates she would always sneak into your dorms and steal your things whether be a headband, your shirt that you never wear, or even a pen (if anyone mentions yuri istg/J 😭) she has a small little shrine for you with a bunch of photos of you, If you love any fashion aesthetic like gyaru, lolita, kawaii core, or even scene you better let her be ur stylist cause if she finds out about your fashion choice her and mina are the MASTERS

•Whever you train them they'll be so spellbound to your fighting and ur quirk heck they'll even hype you up whenever they get the chance cheering for you they love how you'll get so happy but that's cause you to float up to the air (hehe another reference) which they'll panic trying to get you down

•They will never let you go you're the glue that keeps them together (hehe reference)they want you no they NEED you in their life whether you like it or not your theirs

Ua Teachers (platonic)

• Aizawa is the strict but loving type he knows how strong your quirk is and decides to keep his eyes on you he gives you private tutors to try to improve your quirk and studies it he makes sure you get proper rest and if you don't he'll give you detention only for him to get you another sleep bag and fall asleep (the class tried to get detention as well but Aizawa refused) and remember the the class was arguing about who get to be your training partner? Yeah he got insanely jealous and was tired of them treating u like a doll so he pulled u away and threatened them to suspend them if they ever did that again

•dadzawa makes sure ur grades aren't slipping and if you ever had Abusive parents or just bad guardians in general, he's angry now how dare they hurt his favorite student as much he wants to kill them he reminds himself that he's a pro so he can't but he'll do a little blackmail to make your guardians disown you so he can have custody of you nobody is gonna treat you like that and he'll sure of it after all you are his favorite student

•Mic is like the overprotective clingy type he always wants you near him he even assigned your seat at the top so he can see his little witch whenever you try to spare mic always gets you to win just so he can see that smiling face he likes a fun whenever your feeling overwhelmed or using ur quirk too much he quickly stops what he's doing and immediately takes you to recovery girl crying thinking you're gonna die mic is like an uncle or a cool dad to you he always spoils you whenever he gets the chance like giving you breakfast from your favorite fast food place (you never told him our favorite fast food place) he teams up with Aizawa to also learn about this quirk of yours

•Hes so spellbound by your quirk that he always praises you for it he always loves to see how you train and how you work he's extremely protective about ur clothes he doesn't care if ur showing an inch of your stomach or even ya knee caps anywhere above your knees is off limits unless your wearing tights other then that it'd a no-no for him he doesn't wants those filthy perverts look at his listener or they will be consequences~

•Midnight is like ur aunty or ur momma she would always take you out shopping making you wear the most fashionable clothes or take you to cute little cafes she calls it mother-daughter/son/child dates after school she would never whip you with her whip she can stand her little moonbea (hehe another reference) getting hurt she whenever your bad or fall asleep in her class she gives you detection only for you to get a free cuddle session with midnight (and to piss off aizawa)

•Midnight is also very worried about ur quirk what if your quirk hurts you what happens if you use it too much that you'll die? She gets all these thoughts that make her almost cry so she lets you skip out training a bit but aizawa and Mic would yell at her to stop but she has tricks on her sleeve

More characters I wanted to make a hc of but is too lazy

Hawks would be a big brother type of yandere

Nezu is ur rich uncle

Fatgum would be the fun uncle

Vlad king would be your strict uncle

Mount Lady would be ur cool aunty

All might is your favorite grandpa

And endeavor just wanna go home

[unhonest-iago]

Aizawa-Yamada Family Hcs

whenever shinsou is pissed at aizawa, he switches his coffee out for decaf. it's something he picked up from hizashi. one time, shinsou added melatonin drops to the decaf as well but hizashi thought that was too far. their punishment was that he wasn't able to train for a week.

eri's one of those children when playing with dolls, makes up the most fucked up lore. but not b/c it's grotesque or gory. no, not by any means. rather, they somehow turn it into an eldritch horror. that if you truly picture it, it'd make you scream wtf and run in the opposite direction.

eri on occasion will mix up signs and end up saying something extremely crude. hizashi chokes on his drink, which clues in aizawa. being the one to confirm that that was in fact not what she was trying to say. hitoshi sits back, snickering as he watches it all unfold.

eri and hizashi are morning owls while aizawa and shinsou are night birds. shinsou spends his nights playing co-op games till the early hours with denki. despite knowing this, aizawa refuses to go easy on him during training. purposely adding stuff that tests his reflexes.

before adopting eri & shinsou, aizawa would indulge in day drinking, coffee being a poor trojan horse for the alcohol. stopped as he didn't want either kid to accidentally drink his coffee and get drunk off of it. especially when his go-to alcohol is something as strong as hennessy.

on the rare occasion, hizashi will have one of them on as a guest. letting them pick what music plays for the day or do the in-between segments. all having an idea of what to do from being avid listeners. unfortunately eri picks stuff like baby shark and let it go while shinsou exclusively plays pop punk. a lot of listeners simp over aizawa's voice.

shinsou lets eri help him decorate his battle jacket, eventually getting her one of her own in pink. placing the spikes where she directs. it turns into an arts and craft project to do after finishing with their tea party. even making patches for one another. shinsou has a slew of patches dedicated to his friends' hero personas.

aizawa's glad they adopted the two as it distracts him from his grief regarding oboro. mic's the only one who can tell as the worst days are when he's more outwardly affectionate. none of them question it, relishing in the hugs he smothers them in. not that they need the reassurance he loves them, but it's nice to know their surrogate father isn't as stoic as he appears to be.

speaking of, eri and shinsou mostly tend to refer to them as their government name. shinsou's never been the type to call them any parental title, feels too weird. he'll sometimes use their hero name if he wants to be less formal. eri on the other hand sometimes slips and calls them dad and papa interchangeably. 

aizawa & hizashi try to teach responsibility in eri & shinsou by making them help take care of the cats, having it on rotation as to who is supposed to feed them, bath them, take them on walks.