#the only words tk wants to use in this chapter are mine and no

[laneybishop89]

wip wednesday

thank you for the tag, @the-flaming-nightmare!

Coming up in After the Fire:

There was a dull pain in his head when he woke up and his nose was slightly congested, leaving him with no choice but to whine and press his forehead further into Owen. He was sleeping with his face pressed into Owen’s side, the top of his head tucked firmly in the man’s armpit and Buttercup was lying across his feet. He shifted just a little so he could see Owen’s face better, the man’s head turned to him in sleep.

“Mine daddy,” TK said softly to himself, patting Owen gently on the face. “All mine.”

He babbled softly and, unlike Carlos’s babbles, his words were clear and more precise. Owen had woken up to TK’s first pat to his face, but had kept his eyes closed, hoping to gain some insight into what was going on in his beautiful boy’s mind. Unfortunately, his babbling was little more than just repeating ‘mine’ enough times that it was starting to sound like a made up word.

“TK, can you stop hitting daddy in the face?”

TK smiled as Owen’s eyes cracked open and he brought his hand away from Owen’s cheeks and grasped at his shirt instead. He shifted until he was sitting up and on top of Owen’s thighs as the man laid there. It was not at all comfortable for Owen.

“Can you sit next to daddy instead?”

“No.”

Open tag because I don't really know anyone :)

[braveclxrke]

You can find my ao3 here at: Lydiamxrtin

🌻 Multi-chapter Fics 🌻

You deserve peace, you deserve healing 42k • 11 Chapters

Summary: Following TK after the events of the finale episode. TK struggles to balance his injury and addiction as he returns to work, persuading everyone he is fine when in fact he is the complete opposite.

Stay in my arms or must I imagine you there. 5.8k • 2 Chapters 

Summary: 5 times TK refused to sleep without Carlos by his side and 1 time he had to.

I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. 11k • 6/6 Chapters

Summary: Sometimes TK still found it hard to believe this was his home, and that he was lucky enough to share it with his fiancé. TK smiled as the word filled his mind; fiancé.

🌻 Single chapter Fics 🌻

Whatever you decide, don't let it be because you don't think you have a choice 2.7k • 1 Chapter 

Summary: TK tries to deal with the consequences of Sadies actions while trying to decide how to move forward.

Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end. 3.6k • 1 Chapter 

Summary: A series of snapshots following Iris and Carlos's disappearances and how TK tries to find the man he loves and reconcile with the fact that their perfect life had once again been shattered.

False hope is a terrible thing, if it's the only thing keeping you alive you'll be dead by dawn. 1.7k • 1 Chapter

Summary: Following the end of 4.04, as TK continue to blame himself, Nancy provides TK with some advice.

I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime and I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine. 5.1k • 1 Chapter

 Summary: 5+1: Five times TK borrowed Carlos's clothes and one time Carlos borrowed TK's

I’d give up forever to touch you. 2k • 1 Chapter

Summary: A 3.03 coda which picks up right after the episode finishes where we see Carlos deal with the idea of losing TK.

There is comfort in knowing, no matter what happens today, the sun will rise tomorrow. 3.6k • 1 Chapter

Summary: After his parents arguing gets too much, TK seeks comfort in Carlos. “Can I sleep here tonight?” + hurt/comfort.

Stay close to people who feel like sunshine. 1.2k • 1 Chapter 

Summary: Written for a discord flash fic writing challenge: 20 minutes to write and the prompt was: "I let you down" + the word "Savor"

TK attends a call which brings back feelings and memories he had buried deep. After, Carlos and Tommy provide TK with some words of advice and comfort.

You make me want to enjoy life tomorrow 5.5k • 1 Chapter

Summary: A coda for 1x03 with tarlos at the police station; this fic looks at Carlos's reaction to TK being arrested and his perspective during their conversation. After their talk, Carlos offers to drive TK home and learns a little bit more about the man he's pretty sure he's already fallen for.

Home isn't where you're from, it's where you find light when all grows dark 3.2k • 1 Chapter 

Summary: TK and Carlos struggle after losing everything in the fire, including their feeling of safety. Grace and Judd offer some words of advice and support to the boys.

Do all things with love. 3.7k • 1 Chapter

Summary: TK is looking forward to his first Christmas with Carlos but work threatens to ruin their plans.

🌻 Bad Thing Happens Bingo 🌻

Who you are tomorrow begins with what you do today. 3.7k • 1 Chapter • Bad Thing Happens Bingo 

Summary: TK had gone to his parents for advice, not to have them turn the conversation into another argument. Broken-hearted over his fight with Carlos, TK finally tells his parents how their behaviour has made him feel. Later TK seeks advice from Paul about how to fix things with Carlos.

fear is the relinquishment of logic, but so it seems is love. 5.7K • 1 Chapter • Bad Thing Happens Bingo Used as bait + Tarlos.

Summary: Someone from Carlos's past comes looking for revenge and stumbles upon TK Strand. After a long day, Carlos comes home expecting to find his boyfriend curled up on their sofa but instead, he finds an empty house and a pool of blood.

Sometimes out of chaos comes clarity. 4.3k • 1 Chapter • Bad Thing Happens Bingo Withholding medical treatment + Tarlos

Summary: Carlos was stuck inside the bank, bleeding out. TK was outside doing everything he could to get inside, but once inside would TK be able to help or just be forced to watch the man he loved slip away.

Tomorrow is another day.  3.4k • 1 Chapter • Bad Thing Happens Bingo "Crying into the chest” + Tarlos

Summary: The 126 lose a member of their family on a call and TK struggles to deal with it.

Home is what you take with you, not what you leave behind. 11k • 2/3 Chapter • Bad Thing Happens Bingo Flashbacks + Tarlos

Summary: There hadn't been many places that had made TK feel safe, made him feel at home. But Carlos's house had, wrapped up in bed with the man he loved TK had managed to find a home that made him feel loved and safe.

Now TK was staring at the charred and broken remains of that home and the man he loved was in a coma, doctors unsure if he would awake.

Would you come home?  2.2k • 1 Chapter • Bad Thing Happens Bingo "Voice-breaking” + Tarlos.

Summary: Coda to 911 Lone Star 2x03: after learning about the helicopter crash and the commander's refusals to send a rescue team, TK calls Carlos for support (essentially me sprinkling some tarlos h/c on this episode)

Stop fighting yourself and start fighting for yourself.  6.9k • 1 Chapter • Bad Thing Happens Bingo "What have I done” + Tarlos.

Summary: After losing Tim, then nearly his dad in the helicopter crash and now finding out his mom's pregnancy could endanger her life TK's couldn't stop seeing the danger around him and those he cared about. Wanting to numb the pain TK falls back into bad habits.

With every breath hope rises.  5.7k • 1 Chapter • Bad Thing Happens Bingo Punctured lung + Tarlos

Summary: While on a call together, TK stays behind to try and find a kid trapped inside a house. Outside, Carlos watches as the house collapse, no sign of TK and the boy anywhere.

Stuck underground TK fights to stay awake and breathing, on the surface Carlos does everything he can to bring TK home.

My home is next to you. 4.4k • 1 Chapter • Bad Thing Happens Bingo trail of blood + Tarlos

Summary: After getting injured on a job TK patches himself up confident it is a minor injury and everything is fine. Hours later Carlos comes home to find a trail of blood throughout his house and TK is nowhere to be found.

I can't breathe until you're resting here with me  8.7 • 1 Chapter • Bad Thing Happens Bingo Slammed into a wall + Tarlos

Summary: The screeching of metal on metal fill the truck, the noise bouncing off every surface, burrowing into TK's ears and penetrating his mind.

The breath was ripped from his lungs, and nothing was left but emptiness and a deep aching spreading across his whole chest. The screeching halted; a resounding thud and crash cut through the air. The blurry scene before him turned to darkness.

How do you go on after you lose everything: Take a breath, then another. 3.5k • 1 Chapter • Bad Thing Happens Bingo Never got to say goodbye

Summary: This picks up right after 3.07 and looks at how TK and Carlos react to Gwen's death and how they both find some comfort in the other.

Panic is like a weed it doesn't need watering it just grows 5.2 • 1 Chapter • Bad Thing Happens Bingo Clawing at own throat + Tarlos

Summary: While waiting at the hospital for his dad to come out of surgery, TK receives some distressing news and must make a choice he's not sure he can make.

🌻 911LS Angst Week 🌻

I believe in something, I believe in us 4.5k • 1 Chapter • 911 angst week ● Day 1: Emotional whump + “How do we fix this?”

Summary: TK wants to move in with Carlos and is about to ask him when he receives some advice from his father that sends him spiralling, causing him to doubt everything he thought.

forgot to tell you i'm someone else now 2.8k • 1 Chapter • 911 angst week ● Day 2: Physical whump + “Does it hurt badly?”

Summary: TK just wanted to feel something, anything that wasn't the emptiness in his chest. A fistfight in a bar leads TK to a new way of dealing with the emptiness that changes his life forever

I feel like a part of my soul has loved you since the beginning of everything. 2.7k • 1 Chapter • 911 angst week ● Day 3: Coda / fix-it fic

summary: During a weekly 126 hang out, Mateo lets slip that TK once called Alex his soul mate and he proposed to him before they broke up. TK spends the rest of the evening believing Carlos is angry TK never told him about the proposal, but the truth is far more heartbreaking than TK could have imagined. Yet the small heartbreak and confusion makes TK realise something he should have long along, and maybe something he did know along.

Everything sounds sweeter from your lips. 6k • 1 Chapter • 911 angst week ● Day 5: Mental health + “I’m so tired of feeling like this.”

Summary: 5 times TK hated being called Tyler and one time he didn't mind

Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together? 4k • 1 Chapter • 911 angst week ● Day 7: Free choice

Summary: Alex comes to Texas to apologise to TK and to clear the air, a reluctant TK agrees to hear him out but gets more than he bargains for when Alex drops a bomb that TK could have never predicted.

🌻 TK Strand Week 2020 🌻

Go for a good heart. 1.5k • 1 Chapter • TK Strand Week 2020 • Day 1: Prompt: “You're so cute when you pout.”

Summary: Carlos comforts TK after he is not allowed on a call due to his healing injury.

All is not what it seems. 1.7k • 1 Chapter • TK Stand Week 2020 • Day 2: Prompt: "Wait are you jealous?"

Summary: Someone TK knew from New York comes to visit and Carlos ponders how the two know each other when the truth is revealed it's not what he was expecting.

Nothing lasts forever. 2.4k • 1 Chapter • TK Strand Week 2020 • Day 3 Prompt: “I can’t believe you dragged me into this.” + friendship

summary: After seeing that TK is overwhelmed with work and his dad's illness Judd decided to take him horse riding, much to the dismay of TK.

It's okay not to know. 1.6 • 1 Chapter • TK Strand Week 2020 • Day 4 Prompt: “I’m proud of you.” + future

Summary: TK shares an important milestone in his life with Carlos and looks towards their future

🌻 AU 🌻 All along there was some invisible string tying you to me. 7.9k • 1 Chapter • AU Meeting while waiting for hours on end in the emergency room

Summary: TK just wanted his dad to be okay; strike that, he needed his dad to be okay. He also needed to know more about the man that had managed to pull him back from the edge of a complete breakdown. For now, his name would be enough, and that TK knew; Carlos Reyes. With nothing to do but spiral, TK meets someone that makes moving to Austin seem more like fate than a punishment.

Life is but a strand of happy accidents 14k • 4/? Chapter • AU 

Summary: An alternative first meeting of Carlos and TK + Bartender!Carlos and Paramedic!TK

After all of the years, all of the tears, you are here somehow. 61k • 12 Chapters • AU Bodyguard!Carlos and Witness!TK.

Summary: Carlos took a breath, a polite smile on his face, “TK Strand, right?” He greeted, “Look I know this isn’t ideal-” “Ideal?” The man interrupted, “What, spending the next month in the middle of nowhere with strangers?” TK scoffed, shaking his head, “No this is perfect,” He mocked.

I see forever in your eyes, I feel okay when I see you smile 8.7k • 3/? • AU Each genuine emotion your soulmate expresses to you adds colour to your world

Summary: “You can see it too?” TK choked, his eyes never leaving the sole colour in the room.

“It’s red,” Carlos said, looking over at TK

��� Dealing with grief 🌻 There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief.3.5k •1 Chapter • Grief 

Summary: TK tries to balance moments of joy with grief/guilt following the months after his mother's passing.

No matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on 2.8k • 1 Chapter • Grief 

Summary: TK struggles with telling the people closest to him the real reason he opened the narcotics safe the day of his mother's funeral.

Now I have to remember you for longer than I have known you 3.1k • 1 Chapter • Grief

Summary: Based of this prompt I received: "Sad TK...what about Gwyn's first birthday after her death?" 

TK tries to balance moments of joy with grief/guilt following the months after his mother's passing.

[freneticfloetry]

playlist: when a thing is over

me, apropos of nothing: the opening to “your ex-lover is dead” is tk strand’s breakup thesis. when there’s nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire.

because i’m unhinged, may i present the soundtrack to my neuroses: when a thing is over, the breakup era playlist that got me through writing the second chapter of to build a home.

(randomly, i have to write in total silence or i get distracted. but this was inspiration aplenty.)

some songs have direct ties to certain scenes, some are just here for the vibes. and much like the fic, the playlist is angst with a happy ending.

listen here

full tracklist under the cut.

Broken :: Lifehouse i'm falling apart, i'm barely breathing / with a broken heart that's still beating

Mine Again :: Black Lab every day, i will wait 'til you're mine again / i will die every day, 'til you're mine again

Strangers Again :: Ari Hest i want yesterday to come back again, nothing is as simple as i once knew / why can't everything be the way it was, before the day that i lost you

The Night We Met :: Lord Huron i had all and then most of you, some and now none of you / take me back to the night we met

Palace :: Sam Smith i'm gonna miss you, i'm still there / sometimes i wish we'd never built this palace, but real love is never a waste of time

Where I Stood :: Missy Higgins there were sounds in my head, little voices whispering / that i should go, and this should end, oh and i found myself listening

Death By A Thousand Cuts :: Taylor Swift you said it was a great love, one for the ages / but if the story's over, why am i still writing pages

Breathe Again :: Sara Bareilles all i have, all i need, he's the air i would kill to breathe / holds my love in his hands, still i'm searching for something

Not as We :: Alanis Morissette for now i’m faking it, 'til i’m pseudo making it / from scratch, begin again, but this time i as i, and not as we

Before You Go :: Lewis Capaldi our every moment, i start to replace / 'cause now that they're gone, all i hear are the words that i needed to say

Someone You Loved :: Lewis Capaldi now the day bleeds into nightfall, and you're not here to get me through it all / i let my guard down, and then you pulled the rug, i was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Jealous :: Labrinth but i always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was heartbreak and misery / it's hard for me to say, i'm jealous of the way you're happy without me

Fly Before You Fall :: Cynthia Erivo your resistance to sadness is futile but you're a fighter, can't stand defeat / you're a magician at hiding the hurt from you, but i see and i hear you, loud as a bomb, wanting a shoulder to cry on

I'll Never Love Again :: Lady Gaga don't wanna feel another touch, don't wanna start another fire / don't wanna know another kiss, no other name falling off my lips

Stars :: Grace Potter & The Nocturnals i lit a fire with the love you left behind, and it burned wild and crept up the mountainside / i followed your ashes into outer space, i can't look out the window, i can't look at this place

Rivers & Roads :: The Head And The Heart nothing is as it has been, and i miss your face like hell / and i guess it's just as well, but i miss your face like hell

Echo :: Jason Walker i don't wanna be an island, i just wanna feel alive and get to see your face again / but 'til then, just my echo, my shadow, you're my only friend

Say Something :: A Great Big World and I am feeling so small / it was over my head, i know nothing at all

Not Over You :: Gavin DeGraw if you ask me how I'm doing, i would say I'm doing just fine / i would lie and say that you're not on my mind

Better :: Ben Platt i'm not good at pretending that i'm happy to be alone, part of me is a question, can't answer it on my own / 'cause i lost part of me when i lost all of you, now i'm lost

The Fear You Won’t Fall :: Joshua Radin it hasn’t felt like this before, it hasn’t felt like home before you / and i know it’s easy to say, but it’s harder to feel this way, and i miss you more than i should, than i thought i could, can’t get my mind off you

The Weight of Us :: Sanders Bohlke i'm not ready, i’m not ready / for the weight of us, for the weight of all of us

Every Little Thing :: Dishwalla don’t give me up, don’t give me up tonight / or soon nothing will be right at all, salvation / when you find out who you are, it’s too late to change

Collide :: Dishwalla when the cold comes crashing down, and the fight lost what it's about, i could tell that you had left / and it's a shame what we've become, when we hurt the ones we love, and it's a place i cannot go anymore

All I Want :: Kodaline when you said your last goodbye, i died a little bit inside, i lay in tears in bed all night, alone without you by my side / but if you loved me, why'd you leave me

Your Ex-Lover Is Dead :: Stars there's one thing i want to say so I'll be brave, you were what i wanted, i gave what i gave / i'm not sorry i met you, i'm not sorry it's over, i'm not sorry there's nothing to save

Afterglow :: Taylor Swift hey, it's all me, in my head, i'm the one who burned us down / but it's not what i meant, sorry that i hurt you

Come Home :: OneRepublic & Sara Bareilles come home, come home, 'cause i've been waiting for you for so long, for so long / and right now there's a war between the vanities, but all i see is you and me, and the fight for you is all i've ever known

Ghosts That We Knew :: Mumford & Sons so give me hope in the darkness that i will see the light, 'cause oh, they gave me such a fright / but i will hold as long as you like, just promise me we'll be alright

[lire-casander]

#40 not wanting to leave their embrace

not wanting to leave their embrace original prompt list here

this chapter was written before the airing of 911ls s04 big finale!

“Please don’t go,” Carlos mumbles into TK’s neck.

“You know I need to,” TK says for the umpteenth time, his words contradicted by his stance as he doesn’t move away from Carlos’ arms. “It’s just one double shift, I promise. No more overtime.”

“You can’t promise that,” Carlos complains. “You’re a paramedic. The risk of overtime is real.”

“And you’re a police officer, so you should understand,” TK tells him as though he’s speaking to a young child. “I’m sorry I switched all those shifts, only I’m not really sorry.” Carlos grunts, not lifting his face from TK’s skin. “You know I can’t be sorry, babe. I was here looking after you, helping you get better so you could marry me tomorrow.”

“It’s just one day,” Carlos almost whines. “Can’t you call in sick for one day?”

TK chuckles. He loves this side of Carlos that only he gets to see; the collected, cool, serious Carlos Reyes throwing a tantrum because his fiancé has to go to work when Carlos himself has the day off. TK enjoys teasing Carlos just a little; he’s sad too that he needs to leave the house right now, when all he wants is to stay in Carlos’ embrace forever.

“You know I can’t,” he tries to reason. “But I’ll be here before you know it.”

“Only you won’t,” Carlos reminds him. “Neither of us will. We’ll spend the night separately, remember? I’m coming back to my parents’ in about an hour or so, and you’ll go sleep at your father’s.”

“See? You won’t be alone for long,” TK insists. “Your mother will smother you with love the second you set foot in the ranch. And you have a lot of talking to do with your father, babe. Remember that offer? He’ll need an answer, and no better man to ask any doubt you have than a Ranger himself.”

“Still going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you too,” TK reassures him. he holds on tighter. “But it’s just for a few hours, and then we will be getting married. To each other. I won’t be just a Strand anymore.”

“And I won’t be just a Reyes anymore,” Carlos acquiesces. He lifts his head from TK’s neck just enough to kiss TK’s cheek, but he never lets go of TK’s waist. “Okay, go on your double shift. But remember to come back to me, okay?”

“That I can promise,” TK says. “I promise you I will always fight to come back home, and I will always remember you are my home.”

“And you are mine.”

TK shivers as the words sink in. He’s still getting used to the fact that he is loved for who he is, that he is worthy of a love that’s bigger than anything he could have imagined. But Carlos doesn’t falter; he looks up at TK as his arms fall to his sides and he whispers, “I love you, future husband.”

“And I love you, future husband.”

And with a heavy sigh, TK steps back, grabs his bag and walks out of the house before his heart wins this battle with his head and he calls in sick.

so this is it, my friends. the end. how fast time flies!

thank you so much to those of you who have been constantly reading and commenting. you own a piece of my (old) heart. you are the best and i love you so much for your support and patience.

and just like that, in less than twenty-four hours, i'll be forty! i'm feeling old, but a little less old thanks to you all.

[the-al-chemist]

When Stars Ignite - Chapter 48

HPHM Rockstar AU

A/N: We’re all here at Glastonbury Festival! David Willows belongs to @that-scouse-wizard

General Warning: This whole fic has a general warning of being NSFW / 18+. We will give specific warnings for every chapter in itself, but several adult themes will be more or less present in every chapter, may it be explicitly or in mention. These include sexual topics, drug abuse, (ab)use of alcohol, smoking and a whole lot of cursing.

Specific Warning: Language, Alcohol Use, References to NSFW topics and drugs.

~~~

Find the masterpost here, the previous chapter here and the next one here. The songs featured before every chapter can be found on this pretty badass playlist here.

~~~

This work is a collaboration with @lifeofkaze

Taglist: @slytherindisaster @night-rhea @carewyncromwell @thatravenpuffwitch @anthamariemayfair @whatwouldvalerydo

I would go out tonight

But I haven't got a stitch to wear

This man said, "It's gruesome

That someone so handsome should care"

~ The Smiths - This Charming Man ~

The sleeping quarters for the crew were, predictably, much less luxurious than those of the band. Artemis didn’t mind one bit. The last time she’d been to Glastonbury she had shared a three-man tent with four of her friends from sixth form college - one of whom came back drunk and high on their second night at the festival with a live frog. Not much wouldn’t be an improvement on that.

Being the only woman in the crew other than KC, who was sharing her tent with Murphy, Artemis had a tent all to herself. She quickly put her stuff down, pulled out the sparkly wellies she had bought in the TK Maxx sale especially for the festival, and made her way over the grassy field to Andre and Charlie’s tent. There was no time to waste: there was a lot to see, and she wanted to see all of it.

“Your tent’s a lot bigger than mine,” she said, walking into it to find them both inside, surrounded by open suitcases and drinking gin and tonic out of cans. “It’s basically a marquee.”

“Actually, darling, it’s a yurt,” Andre told her, not looking away from the mirror he was sitting at, liberally applying gold glitter to his eyelids.

“Fine. Your yurt is a lot bigger than mine.”

“I didn’t realise that you were such a firm believer in size mattering,” Charlie said, his face deadpan. Artemis raised her eyebrows at him, and he smirked. “Besides, there’s only one of you, and there will be three of us.”

“Three?”

“Ava’s arriving on Saturday.”

“That’s nice,” Artemis wasn’t sure why she had chosen ‘nice’ of all the words, but Charlie didn’t seem to care. He looked genuinely pleased and excited. Artemis frowned. “Charlie, do you two want to sleep in my yurt?”

“Not really our thing, but thanks for the offer.”

“Very funny. Do you want to swap yurts or not?”

“Well, are you sure you don’t mind?” Charlie asked. Artemis shook her head, and he shrugged. “I mean, yeah. Thanks.”

“It’s fine. Just thought you two might want some privacy, that’s all.”

“You make it sound like I’m some kind of deviant,” Andre said. He turned around and winked at Artemis. “Only on Tuesdays.”

“Are you sure you’re alright sharing with Andre?” Charlie repeated his question as he helped Artemis carry the two hold-alls and a rucksack full of all her belongings to her new yurt.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, you know. He’s a bloke, and-”

“Charlie,” Artemis interrupted him, “you have met Andre, right? I think I’ll be okay.”

“Yeah, fair point. Just make sure you two don’t stay up too late talking about boys.”

Artemis would have been happy to just dump her bags on the bed and venture out, but Andre was having none of it. He pulled two cans of pre-mixed gin and tonic from one of his many suitcases, and offered one to her, before sitting on the end of her bed and rifling through her clothes.

“Is this everything you’ve brought with you?” he asked, eyebrows raised in judgement. Artemis shrugged.

“It’s everything I have,” she told him.

“What? As in all you have, full stop?”

“I’ve always moved around a lot,” replied Artemis. “Never been able to have a lot of clothes or anything, so I just have my work clothes, running stuff, and a few outfits for the rest of the time.”

Andre pursed his lips, frowning. There was a look of deep pity in his brown eyes, which Artemis hated.

“Well, what are you planning on wearing today?” he asked her.

Artemis gestured to the t-shirt and shorts she had been wearing on the bus and hadn’t bothered to change out of. Andre nearly choked on his gin.

“What?” asked Artemis. “We are just going to be walking around in the mud.”

“Artemis, darling, this is Glastonbury. The whole world is watching.”

“They’re not watching me.”

“They could be,” Andre said, laying out several items of clothing on Artemis’ bed and pursing his lips as he looked at them. “You just have to give them something that’s worth watching, that’s all. Did you really not bring anything to wear for the festival?”

“Yeah, I bought new wellies.”

“I did notice those, they’re fabulous. But you can’t just rely on your wellies. I mean, you have such a pretty face, it would be a shame to have everyone looking at your feet.”

Andre looked Artemis up and down swiftly, before leaping off the bed and pulling yet another suitcase from under his bed.

“I don’t think anything of yours will look that good on me,” Artemis laughed. “Your legs come up to my belly button. I’ll look like Simon Cowell.”

“Do not mention that name in this yurt,” Andre muttered, before pulling some folded dusky pink fabric out and handing it to her. “Here. Try this on.”

Frowning, Artemis unfolded a small playsuit, with dainty buttons at the bust, lace panels down the seams, floaty material with tassels around the chest and a nipped-in waist. The back was low cut, with thin crisscrossing straps holding it up.

“Why do you have this in your suitcase?”

“I bought it as a present for my niece.”

That explained why the label inside read ‘12-13 years’. Artemis shook her head, and pushed the playsuit back to Andre.

“I can’t take this,” she told him. “I can’t wear your niece’s present.”

“Nonsense,” Andre waved her away. “I’ll buy her something else. This is Auntie Andre’s present to you now.”

“That’s really kind but I can’t imagine that it’ll suit me.”

“Darling. Darling. Knowing what will and won’t suit people is my job. I don’t go messing with your fireworks, you don’t tell me how to dress you. Put it on, and then tell me you don’t think you look hot.”

Artemis rolled her eyes, but did as Andre told her. Once she had changed into the playsuit, he wolfwhistled at her, and dragged her over to the mirror to look at her own reflection. Annoyingly, he had a point. She’d never have picked anything so delicate looking - let alone anything pink - to wear herself, but it did suit her.

“See, princess?” Andre said, forcing her to sit down and untying her hair. “It looks gorgeous. Maybe a bit too little-girly, but if we sort out your hair, the right jewellery, a good cat-eye… Oh, your jacket!”

Andre started to fuss over her; brushing and pinning up her hair, putting make-up on her, holding necklaces against her in different combinations until he was happy with the finished effect. When Artemis looked in the mirror, she found that she was, too.

“Are you two decent?” Charlie’s voice called out from outside the yurt.

“Never, Charlie. I’m always utterly indecent,” Andre called back, applying dark red lipstick to Artemis.

“Yeah, but are you dressed?”

“Who do you think you’re talking to? Here, Artemis. Blot.”

Charlie entered the yurt, just as Andre was admiring his finished masterpiece. Charlie looked from him to Artemis, back to Andre, and then quickly back to Artemis again.

“Huh,” he said, tilting his head to one side. “What happened to you?”

“Andre happened to me,” Artemis replied. Her eyebrows furrowed, and she glanced back at her reflection. “Does it look that bad?”

“No, darling, he’s just a philistine. She doesn’t look bad, does she, Charlie?”

“Oh, no. Not bad, just… different.”

“Right. That’s it. I’m changing back into what I had on before.”

“Don’t you dare,” Andre held his hand out to stop Artemis. He gave Charlie a pointed look, and Charlie nodded his head.

“Yeah, sorry. You look really… nice,” he said, and Andre sighed. “What? She does, it’s just not how she normally looks, that’s all.”

Andre put his head in his hands.

“Straight men,” he whispered despairingly, and Artemis sniggered.

“I mean, you can change if you want to,” Charlie told her, still looking at her like she might be dangerous, “but the others want to go out for drinks later, and if you want to go for a recce of the stuff near here, we’re going to have to be quick, because the Wurzels are on the Avalon stage at five and I definitely want to see them.”

“When in Somerset.”

“Exactly.”

“Fine,” Artemis shrugged. “I guess I don’t have to look good for the Wurzels.”

“I didn’t say you don’t look good, I said you look different.”

“Great.”

“Well, you do look different. And - and - you look good.”

“So good is different?”

“No, I…” Charlie’s voice tailed off. “I’m just digging myself into a hole, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Artemis replied, as Andre tutted and nodded. Artemis grabbed her shoulder bag, jacket and two of Andre’s gin and tonic cans. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Hold on, darling,” Andre pressed the lipstick into her palm. “Don’t forget this. Make sure you put it on before we meet at the bar, and don’t drink too much. You don’t want this to go to waste.”

He air-kissed both of Artemis’ cheeks before she put on her wellies, which Charlie looked at sceptically, as if he wanted to comment on them, but didn’t dare do it.

“Um, I’m sorry if I made you feel self conscious,” he said, as they walked out into the patchy sunlight. “I didn’t mean to. I just wasn’t expecting Andre to go full on Princess Diaries with you, that’s all.”

“Princess Diaries?”

“Yeah, the whole makeover thing.”

“Oh,” Artemis frowned. “I was thinking more along the lines of Breakfast Club, actually. I’ve never seen The Princess Diaries.”

“Haven’t you?”

“Is that the one where Julie Andrews is the queen of Zurich or Geneva or-”

“Genovia, yeah,” Charlie corrected her, before clearing his throat loudly. “Anyway, I’m sorry. I just never thought I’d see you wear anything pink.”

“Neither did I, to be fair.”

“Yeah, well. You do actually look really pretty.”

Artemis smiled.

“Thank you,” she said, not knowing what else to say.

Charlie shrugged, and opened his can of gin and tonic. Artemis decided to leave hers for now. Her cheeks already felt a little warm.

“So where shall we go first?” Charlie asked her.

“Lizzie’s tent. Yurt,” Artemis said, quickly. She hadn’t planned on inviting Lizzie, but all of a sudden, it seemed like a very good idea to do so. “We should see if she wants to come with us. She might enjoy the Wurzels, too.”

“That’s a good idea.”

Lizzie - after complimenting Artemis’ outfit much more tactfully than Charlie had - put on her own wellies and set off with them for the day. She seemed relieved to be out of the way of the band and Ethan, and somehow, Artemis felt more relaxed for her being there. It was strange. She hadn’t even noticed that she wasn’t relaxed until she felt the tension leave her.

On their way to the Avalon stage, they meandered through some of the stalls near their campsite, where vegan food and alcoholic drinks were being sold, and bohemian looking men and women were selling everything from Himalayan salt lamps to flower crowns. There was mud and colour everywhere, and noise and music and the slightest whiff of weed in the air. It was Glastonbury.

Artemis was glad for Andre’s makeover. Most of the people they saw were wearing flamboyant outfits, headdresses or glitter. Even Lizzie had dyed the ends of her hair pink to mark the occasion.

“Do you think we should get some of those flower crowns?” Artemis asked her.

Lizzie stopped sipping on the can of gin and tonic Artemis had given her, and smiled.

“This is Glastonbury, not Coachella,” she laughed, not unkindly.

“I just think we should make ourselves look more festival-like.”

“Honestly,” Charlie shook his head. “I leave you alone with Andre for less than an hour…”

Artemis ignored him, and scanned the stalls.

“Those ones are nice, we could get some of those, or-”

“Or glitter!” Lizzie nodded her head at a pretty blonde girl in a yellow dress walking past, chatting excitedly with her friends, her face adorned with sparkly face paint. Lizzie quickly approached her. “Really sorry, did you do that glitter yourself, or did you go to one of the stalls? It looks really lovely.”

The girl’s cheeks turned a little pink, and she beamed at Lizzie, revealing a set of perfectly straight white teeth.

“Oh, no,” she said, shaking her head, her long blonde hair tumbling about her shoulders as she did so. “Thank you ever so much, but I could never do anything this good myself. I went over to that stall over there, there’s a very nice man doing it, and he really is very talented. Third stall on the left.”

“Thanks.”

“Um, I’m really sorry,” the girl’s smile turned sheepish. “But, you are Lizzie Jameson, aren’t you? Lizzie Jameson from Equinox?”

Lizzie nodded, and the girl flushed pink.

“Would it be okay if we had a photo together? Don’t worry if not, I don’t want to bother you, or anything like that. I’m just a big fan of you all, and-”

“You helped us find the glitter, you can have as many photos as you like,” Lizzie said, leaving the blonde girl looking positively ecstatic.

The girl handed her phone to Charlie, who took several group shots of Lizzie with her fans, before thanking Lizzie and Charlie profusely, telling Artemis that she loved her outfit, and practically skipping away through the mud.

They followed the girl’s instructions to find the face paint tent, where they were surprised to see that Merula had beaten them to it. Her unusual coloured eyes were already framed with silver glitter, and she was leaning on a table whilst waiting for the face paint man to finish applying glitter to David Willows’ face.

“What the fuck happened to your normal clothes, Hexley?” she asked, without so much as a hello first.

“What the fuck happened to your face?” Artemis retorted, and Merula rolled her eyes.

Once the face paint man had finished with David, he offered his vacant seat to Artemis, and he and Merula chatted with Lizzie and Charlie whilst the glitter man adorned Artemis’ cheekbones with flecks of silver and gold. Even in her peripheral vision, she could see that Merula’s entire demeanour was softer, and that when she laughed, it was genuine. She smirked to herself. Well. Fancy that.

Soon, the glitter man finished with Artemis and she swapped places with Lizzie.

“Are you going to have a turn after, Charlie?” she grinned at him.

“Absolutely not.”

“It’s just a bit of glitter, mate. It won’t hurt you,” David winked, getting a chuckle out of both Merula and Artemis.

“No, but I can cope without it,” said Charlie, with a good-natured smile. He looked at Artemis.  “Suits you, though. Let’s just hope it comes off before your meeting tomorrow.”

Artemis had almost forgotten about her meeting with the festival organisers. They had been emailing about her big finale display ever since Charlie had suggested that she be in charge of it, but they had asked to meet her in person to finalise the plans before the day.

“It’ll be fine, the meeting is Saturday, not tomorrow,” she replied, rolling her eyes. “Besides, it’s hardly like the organisers of Glastonbury fucking festival will be bothered by a little bit of glitter.”

Charlie shrugged his shoulders in response, and David addressed both of them.

“Are you goin’ to this party later?” he asked. “Sounds like it’ll be a good night, like.”

“Yeah, I don’t trust these two to go out by themselves after last time,” Charlie raised his eyebrows at Artemis, who stuck her tongue out at him. “I don’t know if Glasto is ready for that. We’re going to the Avalon stage first, if you two wanted to tag along?”

Merula’s eyes narrowed a fraction, and she glanced at David. Clearly, she was enjoying it just being the two of them.

“Nah, sorry, mate. I can’t, like,” said David, and Merula’s shoulders relaxed, just a little. “My sister is here, and I said I’d get her into the party. I’m goin’ to have to meet her with some kind of pass to get her in. I’ll never hear the end of it if I don’t.”

“Your sister is here?” Merula asked. Her voice was a little sharp.

“Yeah, did I not mention that?”

“No.”

There was a moment where no one spoke. The tension that had left Merula just seconds before seemed to have doubled, if not tripled. Artemis couldn’t tell if David had noticed the shift or not, because he smiled as if nothing was wrong.

“Yeah. You can come with me to meet her, if you like. She’ll love that.”

It was the wrong thing for him to say. Artemis and Charlie both took an instinctive step backwards, as Merula’s whole body stiffened.

“I think I’d like to check out the Avalon stage, actually,” said Merula. There was a very slight strain in her voice, though she sounded like her usual flippant self. David nodded.

“That’s cool. You can go and do that, and I’ll go and find Amy,” he said. His face was lined with poorly masked disappointment. Merula looked away, her face sulky. “Right. Well, then. I’d best be off. I’ll see you all later.”

David headed through the crowd. Lizzie, done with her glitter, exchanged awkward looks with Charlie. Artemis tilted her head, eyes still on Merula, who turned back to her, glowering.

“No, Hexley.”

“I didn’t ask you anything.”

“I don’t care. The answer is still no,” Merula looked away again. “Right, are we going to this fucking Avalon stage or not?”

“Yeah, I just want to get a cider on the way,” Charlie said, ignoring Merula’s change in attitude. “Can’t watch the Wurzels without cider.”

At the mention of the Wurzels, Merula let out a deep, scathing sigh.

“It just gets better and fucking better, doesn’t it?” she muttered, before stomping her way to the Avalon stage in surly silence.

[imagines-r-s]

sticking it - j. farabee

chapter 1

a/n: ok, this chapter is very dialogue heavy lmao, but yolo. (feedback is always welcome, feel free to send asks about the series, i would absolutely love to talk about it.) i’m also kinda debating to have a ‘sticking it’ blurb night sometime soon?? anyways i hope you all enjoy this one 

taglist: @butgilinsky @barbienoturbby @sunsetholland @lovenhlboys @sortagaysortahigh @hockey-racing-fubol @oopsiedoopsie23​ (if you want to be added, just send me an ask)

warnings: uh, kathryn? that can be considered a warning i think, swearing, i think that’s it? if i missed anything lmk 

sticking it masterlist

wc: 3.2k

(gif not mine)

“You want me to go where with you?” Joel asked the group in front of him.

“My cousin has a gymnastics meet and we were wondering if you wanted to go with us tonight after practice?” Kevin repeated for the third time. 

“Dude, you have to come. These things are surprisingly super fun, it’s not hockey and there’s no physical fighting, but it’s still pretty cool,” Travis said, shrugging his shoulders. 

“Are you guys going to keep asking until I say yes?” to which Kevin, Nolan, and TK all nodded their heads. “Fine, I’ll go.”

“Ok, sweet. Karly is planning on coming, too, so I’ll just meet you guys there,” Travis interjected as he grabbed his practice bag. 

“We’ll pick you up around 4:30, we have to get there early since Pat has to give his pep talk, all traditional stuff, yada, yada, yada,” Kevin said. 

“Yeah, okay, just let me know when you’re on your way,” Joel said as the two of them went to their cars. 

…..

“y/n, I don’t understand why you’re still worried, your knee will be fine,” Nicole reassured you as the two of you walked into the arena, “Adrian already said you’ve been out for long enough and he’s waiting to hear news of the y/n y/l/n revenge tour, you can’t let him down, dude.”

You rolled your eyes, “well, Adrian can suck it up, he’ll be fine.”

“Ok, that’s how you want to be, then tell Marcus and Michelle that you’re scratching every event today. It’s fine by me, you’re my competition, but good luck petitioning onto the Olympic team after that,” Nicole said, walking ahead of you towards the locker rooms to get dressed. 

“Wait, Nic, stop,” you quickly followed after her, “Your reverse psychology isn’t going to work on me, but I’m not scratching every event.”

“That’s what I thought. Now, babes, you have to realize you’re going to be okay and getting in your head about it will only push you back ten steps. And I missed having actual competition,” Nicole caught the small smile on your face in the mirror, “ok, we honestly have to get ready if we want to have time in the tunnels before we compete.” 

Grabbing your garment bag that held your competition leo and warm-ups in, you started to get ready. Quickly getting your leo on, you took note of how beautiful the new leo was. A navy blue, long sleeve leo with mesh sleeves and rhinestone decals or as Michelle always called it ‘all blinged out’. Once you put on your warm up pants, you did a light makeup look that was pretty much just eye shadow and mascara and then pulled your hair up in a tight, but simple messy bun. 

“Are your boys coming tonight?” Nicole asked, meeting you by the door of the locker room. “Yeah, you know Kevin wouldn’t miss it, but I don’t know if anyone else is coming,” you replied. 

“Oh, well Nolan better be here, you need your pep talk,” Nicole added which made you laugh, “okay, well I’m going to let you do your pre-warm up-warm up and I’ll see you out there soon. You got this, babes.” 

Once you saw Nicole leave the tunnel, you immediately put your headphones in and started listening to one of the hype playlist that Nolan had put together for you. You went through visualizing your routines, visualizing the perfect motions, tumbling, and skills. You were stretching your legs out when you heard a familiar laugh sound from one side of the hallway, turning you saw Karly, TK, Nolan, Kev, and then beside them, Joel Farabee. 

You had never met him personally, but you had seen him play enough times to know who he was. He was also usually included in game highlights if you missed a game, so you were well aware how significant he was to the team. 

You stood up quickly and made your way over to them, “Karly, omg, I’ve missed you, babes. Tiki Bar, I’m still planning on stealing your girlfriend, just so you know.”

“You really have your priorities in order, don’t you, y/n/n?” Travis said.

“I like to think so. Hey, Kev, thank you for bringing your friends along for the y/n y/l/n revenge tour.”

“Dude, you didn’t mention this tour?” Nolan questioned. 

“Oh, well Adrian said this is my comeback meet, so it’s a revenge tour to show how cool I am,” when you got a nod in response from Nolan, you looked over to Joel who stood awkwardly beside him, “Farabee, do you talk or just stand awkwardly 24/7?”

When he heard you say his name, his eyebrows rose in surprise, “how come you know me, but I don’t know you?”

“Well, you see, I actually talk to people instead of just standing off to the side awkwardly. Plus, you’re literally Kev’s teammate, so it would be bad if I didn’t realize who you were.”

“I feel like you’re just upset I wasn’t talking to you, babe,” Joel added. 

“Awe, yes, of course. The pain in my heart from not talking to you is unbearable, thank you for sparing a few words,” you said sarcastically, placing your hand over your heart.

“Ok, children, that’s enough of that for today. We just came to wish you good luck, we’re going to go wait outside the tunnel so that way you can get your pep talk as usual. Now, c’mon, Beezer,” Kevin pushed Joel out of the way and towards the exit before he could say anything else. 

“Are we skipping over that for right now or?” Nolan asked as you walked back to where you were standing by the wall before they came over. When he got a simple nod in response he let out a simple ok, “what event are you starting on?”

“Floor. I’m pretty sure at least.”

“Ok, what’s the worst thing about the floor for you right now?” and the two of you talked about each event like you did every competition. Nolan doing his best to make sure that you talked out everything that was on your mind. Giving you a quick hug and a quick you got this, he made his way back towards his seat. You made your way back to get your warm up jacket from the locker room and went to find Marcus. 

By the time Nolan had made it back to his seat, the announcement that warm up and stretching would start now went off. “Ok, I genuinely thought the only people that did gymnastics were like 10 year olds,” Joel said. 

“10 year olds doing gymnastics is honestly a really boring thing to watch. Like when y/n was 10, I hated going to her meets. She was good, yeah, but it was boring and all of them had the same routines. 0/10 would not recommend,” Kevin added. 

“Are we all just ignoring whatever the fuck happened when y/n/n met Joel? Or was I the only one that noticed?” Nolan was shocked by the fact that no one had mentioned it. When the group went quiet for a moment, the only thing that could be heard was Karly holding back a laugh. “Care to share with the class, Karly?”

“Nope. I want to see how this one plays out before I make any comments,” to which the whole group looked at her confused. “It’s a developing story. It has to develop, obviously.”

Once the national anthem was over, the first event that you had was floor. “y/n/n, I don’t care how you do today, I just need you to go for everything. You have it in you to get high scores anyways, so just focus on doing your skills,” Marcus said, “you just have to do this 1 minute and 30 second routine, land all your tumbling, do your jumps well, stay tight, and you got this.”

“Representing the United States of America, y/n y/l/n on floor,” the announcer read over the loudspeaker. 

“Alright Twinkle Toes, go have fun out there,” Marcus told you one last time before you made your way up to the floor. You stood there anxiously, awaiting the judges who were somehow never ready on time to salute you. Once they did salute you, you flashed your best smile and marched onto the floor, going to your beginning pose. 

The group up in the stands were anxiously awaiting for your music to start, which did include Kevin having to yell at Joel to put his phone up before you performed. All of them believed in you, but this was your first competition back and they weren’t sure how it would go. Would you be back to your old competition level? Better? Would you hurt your knee again? They knew the risks, but simply pushed it to the back of their head. 

Just stick the landings. Four tumbling passes. Three leap series. Two turns. And one score. You have worked your ass off to get back to where you are now; this was your comeback and if you started off great, you could only go up from there. Hearing the beep that signaled that the floor music was starting, the first few notes of ‘Feeling Good’ rang out and you started your routine. 

Starting off your routine with a small dance combo and some poses, you went straight in with two back to back tumbling passes. After the first tumbling pass, the tension in your body eased up. You were back in your element for the first time officially since your injury and you couldn’t have felt better. Right now you didn’t care what score you got, you were just happy to be back. You went for your leaps and jumps, then your final two tumbling passes. 

After finishing your routine in your end pose, you saluted the judges again and practically ran back to Marcus. “I did it, oh my god. I did that,” you weren’t in shock, but the realization finally hit you that you had officially had a great start to the comeback tour. “Yeah, we all knew you could, y/n/n. I’m not shocked,” Marcus hugged you. 

When the camera came around as results of your routine came back, you simply smiled and waved towards the camera as you listened to Marcus tell you the plan for the rest of the competition. When the score results came up, it showed that you were in first place. Everyone else had competed in one event already, so you knew it wasn’t just an accident. You were back. 

“Dude, are you crying?” TK nudged Kevin, who quickly wiped his tears. 

“No, but if I were, it’s a completely valid response to a time like this,” Kevin said quickly. 

What you hadn’t noticed from where you were was how much Joel had been watching you. Before your routine started, he couldn’t have been less interested, but once he saw you performing and the smile on your face after you finished your routine he was hooked. Everyone did take note of how much he was watching you, especially Karly. 

“And the story keeps developing,” she thought. 

With a good score on vault and on bars, you were still doing fine in the meet - it was you and Kathryn Davis for first and second, but this event would show who won all around. The only event that you had left was beam, you only hoped that your hesitation wasn’t as obvious as you felt. You obviously wouldn’t be doing the dismount, you were just going to do a double back that you had solid and weren’t afraid of doing. But even with that, you still had fears looming around a dismount you knew like the back of your hand. 

The fear that you had for beam was evident when you had a few too many wobbles - which made your score lower - luckily there were no falls, but it still affected your score. Even with a lower score you still beat Kathryn in All Around, but came third on beam. 

After awards and talks with media, you made your way back to the locker room to get your gym bag. “y/n, oh my god. Babes, you did amazing. I’m so proud of you,” Nicole came rushing in for a hug. 

“Thanks, Nic. I’m just glad to be back, winning was just a plus,” you said, smiling, “do you still plan on coming with me, Karly, and the guys if we go out to eat?” to which she simply nodded. The two of you made your way to the usual spot you met Kevin after a gymnastics meet. 

Eventually the group made their way over there, all of them quickly congratulating you. “y/n/n, I hope you know how proud I am of you right now,” Kevin said softly after hugging you, “you’ve come such a long way and you rocked it today.”

“KD is slowly approaching,” Nolan said. 

“y/n, omg, it was so cool competing against you. Sorry to have beat you on beam though, maybe if you tried your dismount you would have won,” she said, a fake smile on her face.

“Well, sweetie. You do know that’s just one event right? In everything else, I still beat you. Even when I hurt myself last year, I still somehow ended up with the gold, so you honestly have nothing to brag about,” you said, your fake smile matching hers.

“I see you brought your hockey players to help you out here, how nice of them.”

Everyone watched cautiously, Kevin ready to pull you back if he needed to; Nolan, TK, and Karly were all ready to jump in and help you fight; while Joel just stood there realizing how much he liked seeing you when you were mad. A lovely dynamic for today. 

“Hun, if anyone needs help, it’s you. Especially in the math department, apparently. But congrats on the one gold medal, you deserve it,” and with that you stepped away from her and towards the doors of the arena. 

Somehow Joel was the one that was walking closest to you, “hey, you ok?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good. She just annoys me a lot, nothing crazy,” you shrugged. 

“You did good today. It’s crazy what you can do out there honestly,” he said genuinely. 

“Awe, Farabee, that’s so sweet. ”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t get used to it, babe,” he said, slightly nudging you.

“Are you guys seeing this, too?” Karly asked the guys walking beside her, “like y/n and Bee? Or are your eyes not working today?”

“Maybe we shouldn’t have introduced the two?” Kevin says looking back towards you two just as you trip Farabee, “yeah, maybe not the wisest decision?” 

“Haha, suck on that on-,” your sentence interrupted as he pulled your shin to where you ended up on the ground of the parking lot beside him, “that was uncalled for, Bee.” 

“No, it was perfectly reasonable, you were rude to me earlier, so it’s payback.” 

“What the fuck is she doing on the ground?” Nicole asked as she caught up to the group, confused by your and Joel’s actions, to which everyone around her simply shrugged. 

…..

“There she is, the gymnastics superstar. How was the first night of the ‘y/n y/l/n Revenge Tour?” Adrian asked as you entered his office. 

“Eh, same old, same old. You win some and you lose some, and then people are extremely petty about the fact that they lost, so they bring up a traumatic injury that you hardly ever talk about while making fun of you losing an event, yada, yada, yada,” you smiled. 

“Didn’t really know all that, but I’m proud of you,” Adrian led you over to sit on the bench, so that he could check your knee, “your knee looks- why is there a phone number written on your shin?” 

“Ohhh, haha. About that. I forgot to wash it off,” you said simply. 

“Girl, I know there is way more to that story that you aren’t sharing. C’mon spill.” 

“Ok, well basically. Kevin brought one of his teammates to the game, and there’s this kinda like tension that’s there, but it’s not. So, I kinda tripped him in the parking lot to show that I’m so in love with him and he tripped me back, then we all went out to eat. We’re basically engaged now, we’ve already bought a house and a dog,” you said in a monotone voice. 

“Ok, enough with the attitude, I just asked about the boy. So, what’s his name?”

“Joel Farabee.”

“What’s your specific nickname for him?” Adrian placed some athletic tape below your knee, just as precaution.

“Bee, but he doesn’t have a specific one from me yet, we aren’t that close,” you jokingly rolled your eyes, “no, but he couldn’t find a blank piece of paper, so he just wrote his number on my shin.”

“Did he not see your arm? And have you texted him yet?” Adrian asked as you started with your daily drills, rolling his eyes when he saw you shake your head, “look, he’s a hockey player. I have dealt with a few of those. 7/10, might recommend. They’re interesting individuals, that’s all I can say. But you have to text him.”

“Ok, well read me the number and I’ll text him,” opening your phone, you pulled up your texts, “wait, what the fuck do I say?”

“Well, there’s this word in the English language that works as a simple greeting when you don’t know what else to say. A three letter word, pretty simple.”

“Adrian. I don’t need the attitude today, this is stressful enough,” you quickly typed up the message and practically threw your phone across the room right after, “there, I did it.”

“Did you just throw your phone?”

“Yep, but I texted him,” you said, holding two thumbs up.

“I didn’t realize how much you doing gymnastics your whole life influenced your social skills. My deepest condolences to you,” the both of you looked over towards where you threw your phone when you heard a notification go off, “you better check that before I do.”

“Okay, fine,” quickly grabbing your phone, answering quickly to which he responded just as fast, “he simply asked if I was going to be at Kevin’s later and if I wanted coffee, so, are we done here?”

“Mhm, get your coffee. And I expect updates.” 

As you were on the drive home, your phone started buzzing continuously, you realized that it was just Nicole, “hey, babes. What’s up?” 

“Have you checked twitter? Or instagram? Or anything?”

“No? I’ve been at P.T, why?”

“You’re not going to like what I’m about to say, so if you’re still in the car, I suggest pulling over for your own safety.”

You pulled into your apartment complex, “ok, I’m home. What’s up?”

“Just check Kathryn’s instagram, but apparently she’s been training her 3.5 dismount on beam for months and she has it now. She said she plans on competing it at the U.S. classic in May.” 

[reyescarlos]

can i be him || a tarlos fic

chapter 4/4 word count 6.5k || read on ao3

…I know he don't deserve you If you were mine, I'd never let anyone hurt you, no, no I wanna dry those tears, kiss those lips It's all that I've been thinking about

Carlos tells himself he can get through this dinner, this one night in company with TK and Alex again. He’s been making good on his promise to himself these last few days, doing his utmost best not to dwell on his feelings for TK and focus primarily on work to keep him busy. It’s a new week, a clean slate and Carlos is adamant about hitting the reset button and leaving all the negativity of the prior week behind.

Once he arrives at the restaurant for the celebration dinner,  Carlos gives TK’s name to the hostess who informs him that his party is already waiting for him. She grabs a menu from the podium and escorts Carlos to the table.

He spots TK first, his breath catching at the sight of his best friend greeting him with a warm smile, eyes capturing the candlelight from the table. It makes his heart swell for a moment but it quickly passes the second Alex turns in his seat. Carlos offers up a wave as he makes his way over, TK already pulling out the seat beside him for Carlos to sit down.

“Carlos,” Alex greets with a stiff nod of his head as he sits. Carlos responds in kind, mirroring the gesture before picking up the menu in front of him.

“Were you guys waiting long?” Carlos asks TK.

“Oh no, we just got here a few minutes early and they were ready for us, you’re fine.”

Carlos looks over the menu, making up his mind just as their waiter comes to the table and takes their orders.

For all his trepidation going into this dinner, Carlos feels himself relaxing a bit more as the three of them fall into easy conversation. Since their outing at the café, Carlos had vowed to himself to be a bit warmer towards Alex. It’s proving itself to be a work in progress but like with everything else he’s been trying to curb as of late, he’s giving it a fair shot.

Their food arrives and conversation tapers off as they begin to dine, the table filled with the clinking of utensils on plates.

There’s a faint buzzing sound that draws Carlos’ attention a few minutes later. Alex sticks a hand into the inside of his blazer, eyes fixed on his phone screen once he’s retrieved it.

“Pardon me,” Alex says, pushing back his chair and rising from his seat, already putting his phone to his ear by the time he walks past TK.

Carlos looks to his friend and sees TK’s brows furrow for the faintest of seconds before it passes. Something feels off to Carlos but he tries not to dwell on it. He focuses on his meal, chatting with TK about the busy day he’s had at work. He’s in the middle of talking about his last call of the evening when his fork slips from his hand, leaving a noticeable stain on his shirt where his food splashes.

“Should I ask the waiter for a bib?” TK teases, handing him a napkin.

“Jerk.” Carlos tries to clear it away but he only seems to make it worse. “I’ll be right back.”

Carlos excuses himself from the table, giving TK’s shoulder a light squeeze before he goes. He hates himself for seeking out that bit of contact but it was practically a reflex.

He crosses the restaurant and heads to the back alcove where the bathrooms are located, stopping short of the opening when he hears Alex’s voice.

“I know, baby. I miss you, too but I’ve got to go.” Alex pauses and laughs warmly, affectionately Carlos would argue. “Yes, I swear I’ll make it up to you. Of course, uh huh. I love you, too, babe.”

Carlos’ eyes widen. He doesn’t want to jump to conclusions but this seems like a pretty open and shut case, especially with the way Alex startles when he walks out and sees him.

Alex tries to play it off, placing a friendly pat on Carlos’ arm but Carlos isn’t keen on playing along, jerking his body back.

Alex frowns, his jaw clenching as he holds up his phone.

“Just had a chat with my sister,” he says, rattling the phone in his hand before pocketing it.

Carlos lifts a brow. “You call your sister baby? There are laws against that sort of thing, you know.”

This comment wipes the friendly smile off Alex’s face, the charade dropped entirely.

“How the hell could you do this to TK?” Carlos snaps.

By nature he isn’t the most argumentative person but on rare occasions, when a situation calls for it, his soft demeanor flips, most notably when it’s in defense of someone he cares about.

“I’m not doing anything. Look, I don’t know what you think you heard but this has nothing to do with TK—“

“Please don’t bullshit me right now, Alex,” Carlos cuts in, his voice as cold and hard as steel. “You had better tell him and quick or else I will. TK is amazing and if you’re too blind or stupid to see that, the least you can do is not go behind his back. Have the decency to tell him.”

Alex stares at him, his jaw clenched but Carlos doesn’t back down or waver. He hasn’t been this angry in so long and it’s only because they’re in a restaurant and TK is a few feet away that he puts a lid on his anger to keep it from boiling over completely.

“I bet you’re just loving this,” Alex quips, crossing his arms over his chest. “Counting down the time until you can finally make something of your crush on TK.”

Carlos isn’t expecting this and he knows his face betrays it because Alex huffs out a laugh and rolls his eyes.

“The only person who can’t tell you’re in love with TK is TK.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. He’s my best friend.”

“Right, because you’ve been in the friend zone for...how many years now?”

The words cut deep but Carlos refuses to let Alex get the best of him at this moment.

“Tell him or I swear to God I will,” he stresses again. “Be glad I’m even giving you a warning.”

He stares Alex down for a moment before brushing past him and going into the restroom, taking a breath. His hands are trembling as he stands in front of the mirror. He turns on the faucet and lets the cold water run for a bit before cupping his hands beneath the stream and burying his face in his palms. He does this a few times until he can only focus on the chill seeping through his pores, the cold taking place of the heat on his face.

Carlos looks at himself. His expression is moody and he knows that TK will be able to tell something is wrong but he also knows he has to get back to the table. He’s already been gone so long. He tries to focus on getting the stain out his shirt but he doesn’t actually care about that. He takes a few seconds to pull himself together.

It’s not like him to lose his cool and he’s upset he allowed Alex of all people to get under his skin but it couldn’t be helped though. The man knew how to work his way there expertly, cutting into Carlos with the truth he’s been trying to grapple with for almost half his life.

He was hopelessly in love with TK and the world knew it. He would give anything for it to be the inverse and for TK to not only know how he felt but to feel it back.

Reluctantly, Carlos looks away and goes back into the dining area of the restaurant, rejoining the table. Alex is chattering away and just the sound of his voice puts Carlos’ teeth on edge.

TK glances at him and smiles, his brows soon knitting together as he takes in Carlos completely.

“You alright there?” he asks, cutting across whatever anecdote Alex was in the middle of.

TK searches his face, those beautiful eyes clouded with concern.

“Yeah, I’m alright.”

TK touches his elbow lightly and Carlos swears he can feel the warmth of his fingertips burrowing through his skin to the core of him. Too soon TK pulls his hand away, leaving Carlos feeling devoid of something he can’t quite name just then.

It’s torture sitting across from Alex now as he continues on with conversation as if nothing is wrong. Lying and being deceitful are such abstract concepts for Carlos. He wonders at how long Alex has been seeing this other guy and how he’s been able to look TK in the face every day and carry on as if he doesn’t have a whole different life running parallel to this one.

Carlos is quiet all throughout the rest of the meal, finishing his dinner and suffering a bit longer through dessert. He counts it as a mercy when the check arrives.

Alex whips out his wallet first, tossing his card on the table. He reaches for the receipt, signing off on it.

TK tries to protest but Alex waves him off, flashing a smile that makes Carlos feel sick to his stomach.

“My treat, seriously,” Alex insists, closing the receipt case back. “It’s the least I could do.”

His eyes meet Carlos’ who just stares back at him. If the man is expecting praise or a word of thanks, he sure as hell won’t be getting it from Carlos. Covering the bill isn’t going to earn him points or redeem him in any way. Their waiter returns and slips the case off the table, breaking Carlos' attention away.

“That was really sweet of you, babe. Thank you,” TK says and it takes every ounce of Carlos’ reserve not to scream that he shouldn’t be thanking Alex for anything, that he shouldn’t be impressed by anything the man has ever said or done.

Once the waiter returns with Alex’s card, Carlos is on his feet.

TK looks at him curiously but Alex either has the good sense or the cowardice not to look at him just then.

“I’ve got an early morning,” he says to TK. It isn’t a lie but the real truth is that he can’t stand to stay around Alex a moment longer.

“Right, totally. It is getting pretty late anyway.”

All three men exit the restaurant and Carlos is grateful for the fresh air, for the chance to breathe in something clean and allow the chilled night to temper his mood.

“We’re parked this way,” TK says, his thumb jutting behind him.

“I’m the other way.” Carlos looks intently at TK, feeling a tightness in his chest, an odd mix of joy and pain. TK always makes him happy but this newfound secret he’s keeping from TK hurts him.

“It was good seeing you tonight,” he says. If nothing else, at least he got to see his best friend. It just gnaws at him, having this hidden truth between them. He’s completely blocked out Alex who is standing a few feet away, a useful skill that proves itself extremely valuable on the heels of all he’s learned about the man tonight.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” TK searches his eyes, placing a hand on his cheek gently.

It’s so affectionate, so caring but Carlos knows that’s simply how TK always is with him. It doesn’t mean anything, at least not in the ways he’s been hoping for since they were fifteen.

“I just need to get some rest. It’s been a long day,” he replies, placing a cupped hand over TK’s wrist.

Carlos figures it’s little gestures like this that make Michelle so adamant that they act like a couple already. He tries to see themselves through the eyes of a passerby. He supposes that’s the assumption they’d make. He’d give the world for it to be a correct assessment.

TK frowns, clearly not impressed or satisfied with this answer. Carlos supposes his friend can sense or see a weariness in his eyes because he doesn’t push the topic further. Instead he lowers his hand and wraps his arms around Carlos.

Carlos doesn’t hesitate in returning the hug, his hands coming to rest on the expanse of TK’s back. He wants to confess, to spill the horrible secret that’s already starting to spread like a cancer inside him. How Alex has been able to hide the truth for so long, Carlos will never know. He’s only known for an hour and it’s killing him already.

“Call me if you need to talk, alright?” TK offers as they break apart.

Carlos just nods, unsure of what to say. He knows he won’t be picking up the phone tonight. He isn’t in the mood to talk and even if he was, he isn’t sure what would come pouring out of him. For as much as he wants TK to be brought up to speed on what’s happening, he feels the words need to come from Alex.

It’s daunting to put faith into the idea that Alex will do the right thing when he’s more than proven how distrustful he is. But Carlos will give him the benefit of the doubt for right now. He figures he can be generous and give Alex a full day. Anything beyond that and he’ll take matters into his own hands.

TK says goodnight to him, turning back to walk alongside Alex to the man’s car. Carlos stays rooted to his spot for a moment watching them go. Alex glances over his shoulder and even from a distance Carlos is certain the other man can feel the full brunt of his glare.

Alex is on borrowed time. The clock is ticking and from the guilty expression on his face, Carlos can tell Alex knows that.

~*~*~

From the moment he woke up, Carlos has felt as if he’s been in a fog. He’d barely managed to sleep last night, his mind constantly replaying the events of his disastrous dinner. At the center of his thoughts has been TK. Carlos’ heart breaks all over again at the thought of his best friend.

It was a wonder that Carlos managed to get through his shift today. Each time his phone chimed or buzzed, he practically jumped out of his skin thinking it was an incoming call or text from TK. But the entire day was spent with radio silence on TK’s end, leaving Carlos with a sense of dread that Alex had chickened out.

He’s only been home for an hour now when there’s a hurried double knock against the door followed by two rings of the doorbell. Whoever is on the other side is clearly persistent in getting his attention. Carlos leaves from his bedroom and heads towards the front of his home.

“I’m coming,” he calls out, approaching the door warily.

“It’s me,” comes TK’s voice and Carlos rushes to let him in.

For all his haste to get Carlos to open up, TK stands frozen in place. His eyes are rimmed a deep pink, his cheeks flushed. Carlos knew Alex’s confession would blindside and hurt TK but this sight breaks Carlos.

“Come here,” he says, holding open his arms.

Numbly, TK slips into his embrace. Carlos closes the door with his foot as TK sighs heavily against his shoulder.

“He cheated on me. I’ve been so stupid,” he mumbles.

Carlos closes his eyes and gently cards through TK’s hair.

“It wasn’t stupid to believe your boyfriend would be faithful to you. That’s the bare minimum.”

“You had my back,” TK notes unexpectedly, pulling back. “Alex said you let him have it.”

Carlos flexes his jaw muscle, still bothered by his conversation with Alex last night. He wasn't expecting Alex to make any mention of Carlos finding him out but he supposes this little tidbit was something important to note. At least it explained the mood Carlos was in throughout the evening.

“Of course I did. And I wanted to tell you immediately, I really did. I just—he needed to own up to it.”

Carlos didn’t want Alex to feel as if he had an out. His dishonesty and betrayal was something that Carlos was thoroughly disgusted by. He needed Alex to be the one to confess, though, he’d been serious in his threat outside the bathroom. Even if it meant ultimately doing Alex’s dirty work for him, had this gone beyond a day, Carlos would have intervened. He would hope that if he were ever in a situation like this, someone would do the right thing on his behalf.

Carlos leads them to the living room, the pair sitting beside each other on the couch. TK’s elbows are propped on his knees, a restless hand raking through his hair quickly. There’s a nervous energy coming off of him that Carlos is trying to figure out how to navigate. It feels different than TK’s usual bouts of anxiety. There’s a nervousness to TK that Carlos can’t pin down.

TK nods and wipes at his face. “I agree with that. I’m not upset with you or anything. I just feel so...I don’t know. I trusted him. I should’ve seen it.”

“Hey, no. Don’t do that. Don’t go blaming yourself for someone else’s mistakes. You’re more than he ever deserved.”

Carlos still can’t believe that someone would squander an opportunity like this. He would have given anything to be with TK, to shower him with love and affection. Yet when Alex had this chance, he ruined it and ran off to be with someone else. It just didn’t make sense to him.

TK smiles faintly, as if trying to absorb what Carlos is saying to him. “It’s just as well,” TK mumbles. “I haven’t exactly been fair to him this whole time either.”

Carlos isn’t sure what that’s supposed to mean. TK spent almost all of his time with Alex. He was constantly talking about him; a model boyfriend.

“Are you going to be okay?” Carlos asks, placing a hand on TK’s shoulder.

TK stays hunched over and for the life of him, Carlos cannot fully decipher his expression. There’s the obvious hurt and shock that comes from finding out his boyfriend had been cheating on him. There’s also some kind of pensiveness that Carlos doesn’t know what to make of.

“Seriously, TK, are you alright?”

TK stares straight ahead for a moment, seemingly collecting himself and pulling away from his thoughts before he speaks again.

“The crazy thing is, I don’t really think I’m that upset,” he says slowly, still piecing his thoughts together. “I mean, yeah, it sucks and I didn’t see it coming but I should’ve known it wasn’t going to work with him. I tried really hard to make it work and it just didn’t. It couldn’t.”

Carlos stares at TK, attempting to gauge where his mind is now. He’s got a distant look on his face and part of Carlos wonders how much of this TK is even trying to share with him or if he just so happens to be a fellow passenger on his train of thought.

“I always knew he and I weren't meant to be,” TK continues softly.

He runs a hand through his hair again. Carlos remains in place beside him, holding his breath, almost too afraid to say anything and unsure of what he could even possibly offer now. He decides it’s best just to let TK control the reins for a little while, to let him steer this conversation.

“Alex said something to me that I can’t shake.” TK turns to look fully at him and Carlos lowers his hand, letting it fall from TK’s shoulder to his own lap. TK looks so serious that it’s making him feel anxious.

“Carlos, I’m going to ask you something and I need you to be completely honest with me when you answer.”

This is setting Carlos on edge. He tries to think of what Alex could’ve said to make TK quite this grave. His heart sinks to the bottom of his stomach. Alex wouldn’t have shared his secret, would he? Carlos reasons that Alex very well could have, that he most likely did. After all, he had the motive. Their confrontation hadn’t been an agreeable one but still, Carlos couldn’t believe that Alex would be spiteful enough to blab. All the same, Carlos decides to play it cool until he knows with absolute certainty that TK’s ex took it upon himself to expose Carlos’ true feelings about his best friend.

TK blinks twice and sighs bracingly. “Carlos, do you love me?”

The question is so blunt that Carlos jerks back as if he’s been struck. He can barely breathe. There’s a knot in his chest that seems to have crept in out of nowhere.

“Of course, I do. You’re my best friend, you know that.”

TK gives him a meaningful look. Carlos sighs wearily and purses his lips.

“TK, we don’t have to get into this right now, okay? You’ve got a lot going on with everything and this doesn’t matter anyway so we can drop it.”

It’s not a confession but it’s hardly a denial either and from the look on TK’s face, it’s confirmation enough of the truth.

“It does matter. You could have...I should have…,” he sighs and shakes his head. “We could've figured this out.”

It’s this statement that needles at Carlos. He couldn’t have just come out with it, despite how badly he’s wanted to every day since they met sophomore year. Carlos had toyed with the notion more times than he could ever keep track of but the fear was always there and it never seemed appropriate. Either one or both of them was seeing someone else or was just fresh off a breakup. It always felt off and Carlos wanted them to have a fighting chance, if he was ever bold enough to speak up.

“When? Our timing has never been right and if it hasn’t happened for us by now, clearly it never will and I’m…I’m okay with that. I love what we have now enough to be okay with it.”

TK eyes him with such hurt. Carlos feels like throwing up.

“You can’t break your own heart, least of all for me. It’s not fair to you,” TK says softly.

Carlos looks away, shaking his head.

“I can’t believe Alex told you this.” Even with Alex out of his life for good now, the man still managed to give Carlos the worst kind of parting gift, making sure he still lingered for a short while. A horrible aftertaste.

“He just said he thinks there’s been something going on between us and that I should talk to you about it. And I knew he was right about that.”

“Right, well, we spoke. It’s handled and we can move on,” Carlos says, standing up and beginning to pace.

“Hang on, Carlos, please.” It’s the pleading tone that roots Carlos to the ground, making him freeze in place. “I’m getting this whole thing wrong,” he sighs.

Carlos keeps his back to TK, fearing the expression his best friend must be wearing now. He isn’t sure what he hopes for at this point but he doesn’t feel strong enough to handle even the possibility that there’s pity in TK’s eyes. He already feels foolish enough as it is. Anything more just might send him to his breaking point.

Carlos can hear TK coming closer to him and he exhales slowly through his mouth to steel himself for whatever’s coming next. It’s only when he feels his best friend’s hand on his arm that he reluctantly turns to face him.

“Did you honestly think I could never love you back?” TK asks, his voice low and measured. “Did you really think, in all the years that we’ve known each other, that I never saw you in that way?”

Carlos thinks back to the countless little moments between them: shared glances that perhaps lasted a moment too long, TK seeking his hand out casually, small, seemingly innocuous touches that felt like lifelines to Carlos. The subtlety to it all. These questions being posed now make Carlos feel so hopeful but that’s a dangerous emotion to have, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.

“Sometimes I would hope but I didn’t think I had a real reason to.”

Perhaps this isn’t the right thing to say. TK’s face falls and he swallows thickly, removing his hand from Carlos’ arm. Carlos can feel his heart sink down even lower somehow. He’s quick to keep speaking.

“You were always nice to me but I couldn’t tell if there was more to it or if you were just being your usual self. You make everyone feel loved and special. It’s your superpower and one of the best things about you. But the way you’d talk about guys you liked, it was different from how you’d talk about me.”

“Because it is different with you, Carlos. Since day one it’s been different.”

Carlos’ head tilts to the side, almost as if trying to see past conversations differently.

“You’ve always mattered more than anyone to me and you always will. I just—you’ve seen me at my lowest points. I never knew how to say any of this to you. You know things about me that I’ll probably never be able to share with anyone in the world. You know all my messy secrets. Because of that I didn’t think you’d ever—“ TK cuts himself off and draws in a steadying breath before continuing.

“You know all the reasons why I’m probably not a good choice so I’ve been trying so hard all these years to distract myself, to try and get over you, to get you out my head and heart that way. But you’re in here, Carlos. No matter how many guys I see, there’s nowhere I can go to hide from this and I’m so sick of running from it. Of running from you and all that we could be. I’m done with that. I’m not running anymore. These last few days…,” he trails off, shaking his head. Carlos holds his breath, his heart racing as TK continues.

“If I said or did the wrong thing to scare you off? God, I don’t know what I would do then. Nothing scares me more than the thought of ruining us. I can’t afford to lose you. I just can’t.”

A few tears roll down TK’s cheeks and Carlos’ first instinct is to wipe them away. He follows through, tentatively cupping TK’s face and brushing his thumbs gently over his skin. TK’s eyes flutter closed as his hand lightly grips Carlos’ left wrist. When TK’s eyes open, Carlos is right there staring into them. He can feel something pass between them, a weight being lifted.

It hurts him to think TK has been living with this fear all along, harboring this notion that Carlos couldn’t feel anything deeper than friendship for him because of his past obstacles. At times it was easy to forget how insecure TK could feel in private when he was such a natural at keeping up appearances. All of those hardships had never once been a deterrent for Carlos. He’d always admired TK’s strength and resilience. If anything, it made him fall that much harder for him.

“You've been through a lot, yes. But it never made me think less of you somehow. I’m always in awe of you. You could never lose me, TK. I care about you too much to ever let go.”

TK wraps his arms around Carlos and Carlos hugs him back, cradling his body to his frame. TK’s eyes close as his forehead comes to rest against Carlos’.

“What you were saying before?” Carlos asks, unable to shake his curiosity over what TK stopped himself from saying. “What about these last few days?”

TK shudders against him and sighs.

“They lit a fire. Out on the trail...when you mentioned having a date. That was when it really hit me that we could seriously lose our chance. It just—it made it all real to me and it scared me so much, Los. That’s the real reason I acted like that, not because I didn’t think you made for a good catch but because I knew all the ways you did. And there it was that some other guy was seeing it too. You felt so far away, like we were slipping from each other, and it was my own damn fault because I was too scared to tell you how much I’ve wanted you all this time. But I also wanted you to be happy because it’s what you deserve more than anything. I just...I just wished I could’ve been him. I wished I could have been brave enough to make a move.”

Carlos can barely piece together a coherent thought. He blinks, trying his best to let TK’s admissions sink in fully. He could easily recall TK’s initial response during their hike, the surprise on his face. In the moment, Carlos had taken it as a slight but now he could see just how wrong he was. TK was merely feeling the same level of fear he experienced each time his best friend got together with someone new.

“And I wanted to be in Alex’s place,” Carlos counters. “It felt weird putting myself out there and then when it didn’t pan out, it felt like a sign to focus on myself, you know? Figure some things out. And you guys were getting so serious, I really thought this could've been it for you.”

TK shakes his head. “It was always doomed, believe me. I think I just got good at hiding after all this time. I came so close so many times to telling you but I didn’t know how.”

Carlos cups TK’s chin, his thumb brushing along his jaw. TK’s lips part, in surprise, in invitation, maybe both.

“I want this so badly,” Carlos confesses softly. It just pours so freely from him but there’s no need now to be guarded about the way he feels. His heart has already been laid bare.

TK peers at him and Carlos notes how much more relaxed TK looks and feels now in comparison to when he first arrived. This is all Carlos could ever want for the both of them, to continue being a source of comfort for each other as they venture into new territory.

Carlos brushes his nose lightly against TK’s, basking in their closeness, in this newfound intimacy. TK hums softly at the feel, his eyes shutting briefly before opening back up again, meeting with Carlos’. It’s terrifying how everything he’s always wanted is quite literally in his hands. It’s almost too much for Carlos to make sense of at this moment. He smiles at TK and kisses his cheek, lingering there. TK groans before laughing quietly.

“You’re a few inches away from where I was hoping—“

Carlos doesn’t give him the chance to finish the thought, silencing him with a feather light kiss to test the waters. TK’s hand runs up Carlos’ chest and shoulders, coming to rest at the nape of his neck. It’s all the assurance Carlos needs to kiss him again, this time with more emphasis. His hands anchor against TK’s hips, pressing their bodies together as his mouth gets familiar with TK’s.

This comes naturally to them, just as Carlos had always suspected it would. TK’s nails drag lightly against his neck and Carlos can’t stop the moan that claws its way out of his chest. Of course TK would uncover one of his weaknesses this easily, this early on.

Carlos deepens the kiss, his curious hands roaming further along TK’s frame, nails clawing gently. His lips learn the shape of TK’s mouth with ease, savoring every bit of this man that he loves so fully. It’s enough to make his head spin but Carlos knows he can’t get too carried away. There’s still a lot TK has to work through post-breakup and Carlos doesn’t want to encroach on that, even if kissing TK is better than he had ever imagined.

He pulls away and TK groans again, unabashedly voicing his opposition to stopping their kiss.

“I thought you’d want to take things slow considering Alex and everything,” Carlos notes, pecking TK’s lips once more.

TK playfully narrows his eyes. “That’s very considerate of you but I’ve been waiting to kiss you since we were fifteen so if that isn’t slow, I don’t know what is.”

Carlos stares at him in stunned silence, shaking his head in disbelief.

“What?” TK prompts, slipping his hand into Carlos’ and entwining their fingers.

“Nothing, it’s just...it’s crazy to think you’ve been feeling this way too since we were kids. I don’t think I’ll ever get over that.”

TK gives his hand a light squeeze before bringing it to his mouth and placing a gentle kiss against the back.

“Well, it’s true. You’re the greatest guy I know. I always had a good feeling about you, about us.”

Carlos laughs to himself, remembering the first time they spoke, how he’d been so nervous that he could barely get a word out at first. But TK seemed convinced they would get along well, right from the start. His foresight had been spot on.

“You definitely called it.”

“I spoke it into existence. I knew I wanted to know you. To this day, it’s the best decision I’ve made since moving here all those years ago.”

Carlos looks down at their hands. It’s something they’ve done plenty of times over the years but now he’s seeing it through a new set of eyes, a new meaning behind the gesture.

“I really do love you, TK,” Carlos says seriously, looking up at him then.

Getting the words out is liberating and daunting but it needs to be said plainly, explicitly. He’s gone so many years with the feeling consuming him. It hasn’t been a burden but Carlos already feels lighter with it off his chest.

TK’s face breaks out into the warmest smile. It touches his eyes and makes them shine in a way Carlos has never seen before in all the years he’s known him, a light shining from the inside out. It reminds Carlos of an evening star. TK’s always been the brightest in his universe.

“I love you, too,” he replies breathlessly. “It feels so good to finally say it out loud.”

Carlos traces TK’s bottom lip with the tip of his index finger. TK’s mouth parts, his green eyes flashing with want. Carlos spares them both, leaning in and kissing TK hungrily. This kiss is deeper and far less guarded than their last, Carlos no longer shy about where he touches TK. They stumble backwards onto the couch, Carlos seated as TK straddles his waist, never breaking the kiss. His hips roll over Carlos’, the gesture making Carlos practically breathless. He feels drunk off this moment, somehow managing to live both inside and out of himself. To have everything he’s wanted for eleven years suddenly all at once is making him feel a bit delirious. To know that all those years of wishing, of warring with himself and Michelle’s advice are now over is, in a word, surreal. If she could see them now.

Carlos laughs to himself against TK lips, a low hum of a sound as he smiles, his mouth still pushing back against TK’s.

“I’m giving you my best moves here, Reyes.”

“And believe me, it’s all quality stuff,” Carlos muses, pulling back to look at him. “I’m just thinking about Michelle.”

“Okay, now I’m really starting to get offended,” TK jokingly reprimands.

“Don’t worry, babe. You’re always front of mind.” He punctuates this assurance with a soft kiss at TK’s temple.

The pet name falls so casually from Carlos' lips that he doesn’t even realize he’s said it until he sees TK preen at the nickname, burying his flushed face against the side of Carlos’ neck. Carlos fights off the urge to shiver when he feels TK’s breath on his skin but he can feel goosebumps rise regardless.

“She’s going to have a field day with this. She’s been saying forever that you loved me back.”

“My dad too,” TK mumbles, pressing a kiss against Carlos’ pulse point before shifting to look at him. “He’s been trying to convince me for years now but I just couldn’t allow myself to go there, you know?”

Carlos nods in understanding. That’s been the story of his life since he was fifteen. TK takes a hold of his hand, tracing along his palm absentmindedly. Carlos just watches him in silence for a time, enjoying the comfortable weight of TK on top of him, of the man being this openly affectionate with him. It’s beyond what he has been imagining over the years.

“All this time wasted,” TK laments after a few moments, his expression troubled.

Carlos rubs at TK’s sides, shaking his head. “I don’t think of it that way. Not at all. We’ve just been laying down some serious groundwork and now we get to cash in on it. We’re golden going forward.”

Like any good home, love needed a strong foundation. As far as Carlos was concerned, they’d merely been giving themselves something stable to build a life on.

A slow smile spreads across TK as he seemingly allows Carlos’s words to sink in.

“I like the way you think. It’s just one of the many, many things I love about you.”

Carlos takes TK’s face in his hand, studying it as if he hasn’t spent the last eleven years committing it all to memory. He takes in his bright eyes, that playful, knowing smirk. All of this is his now in the same way he belongs entirely to TK. Now he’s able to just openly stare, to admire. It’s as if he needs confirmation that this is in fact real. This is truly happening.

TK stares back at him, his expression a mirror image of Carlos’. In his eyes Carlos can see nothing but love, adoration, and also hope. Predicting the future isn’t something anyone can truly do but Carlos feels safe in believing that this new road they’re traveling will lead to good things.

TK cups his face as well and leans in to kiss him once more. Carlos allows himself to surrender to the moment, to free his mind and focus solely on the feel of TK’s lips on his, their chests pressed tightly together. He can feel TK’s love for him as steady and sure as a heartbeat.

Carlos takes comfort in the knowledge that they have this moment, the memories of all the ones before it, and all those that are still yet to come.

[tarlosbuddie]

Summary: It's been years since Eddie, Buck, and Christopher moved to Austin. Leaving Los Angeles and the 118 was hard, but it was the right decision for their family. They are happy at the 126. Tonight, the Diaz are hosting the 126 monthly dinner. It's a family tradition now. It brings back some memories and flashbacks.

Or the one where Buddie and Tarlos are friends and have lots of kids.

This is also part of my collaboration with the amazing @harvestleaves​ 

Word Count: 3470

Chapter : 1/2

Tags: Established relationship, Kid fic, domestic fluff, crossover, future fic

Relationship: Buddie and Tarlos

Read it on AO3

The 126 fire station

The shift is coming to an end and no one is complaining about it. It’s been a long day. They haven’t lost anyone but they barely had any time to catch their breath in between calls and one look at his team is enough for Owen to know they are all taking a nap as soon as the truck parks at the station. He is right, as usual. His son is the only one who’s not heading to the bunk room. He had a big smile on his face all day long.

“What makes you so happy son?” Owen finally asks, wanting to know the reason his exhausted son is looking at his phone, smiling, instead of catching up some well-deserved rest.

“Carlos keeps sending me those pictures” TK replies with a huge grin on his face. “It’s his day off, and his mom insisted on taking the kids shopping.” 

“Rookie mistake” Owen says. He tried once and his ‘quick shopping trip’ lasted for hours.

“They’ve been in the same store for three hours and Isabella has pretty much tried every piece of clothing she could find” the Strand boy adds while showing his dad all the photos Carlos had sent. The first three are very cute and show Bella wearing the beautiful clothes her grandmother picked out for her. Carlos’ mom is behind her with a bright and hopeful smile on her face. TK keeps scrolling to show his dad the rest of the outfits, dozens and dozens of pictures. From the reflection in the mirror, both men can see Mrs. Reyes’ hopes to leave the store slowly disappearing from her face. The last one is the one that melts TK’s heart the most. It’s a picture of his favorite little monster wearing a yellow hoodie and Carlos added the caption ‘She said she wanted to look like her daddy’.

“If they keep going like that, they will still be at the store tonight.”

“Not a chance” TK assures. “Her big brother won’t miss a dinner at the Diaz's for anything in the world.” 

“My little man is not the only one excited about tonight. I can’t wait to see the Buckaroos” says Owen, he looks around them, the firehouse is quiet. His team is sleeping, Michelle is on a call. Something is obviously missing. 

“Yeah, it’s weird here without big Buck” TK admits. Buck and him quickly became friends and not seeing him at work every day is weird, but he knows the blonde will be back at work in no time. He knows the whole team looks forward to seeing the youngest Diaz at the station again. Eddie of all people wants him by side, but he will not admit it in front of the others. His husband has a good reason to stay away from his job a little longer.

“We still have one hour left before the end of shift” the captain says. “You should try to rest a bit. I’m sure Buttercup is already warming up your bed.”

One hour of sleep won’t be enough to get properly rested from the long day they had, so TK decides to help his father filling the reports from all the calls they had. He sits on the couch on the corner of the captain’s office and Buttercup comes to sit next to him. They are halfway done with the paperwork when the shift is officially over. The members of the crew come quickly to let their captain know they are heading home. 

“Go, son, I’ll finish this alone,” Owen says. “I’ll see y’all tonight, guys”.

“See you” Eddie replies as he’s practically running, eager to come home to his family.

“Are you sure dad?” TK never liked paperwork, but he knows they can get it done faster together.

“Sure. I’m sure Bella is going to want to wear one of her new outfits tonight and she might need some help choosing from everything her grandmother bought her”, the kid’s grandfather says. He knows it’s probably true because no one ever spends more money than him spoiling his three grandkids.

“Okay then, see you soon.”

The Strand-Reyes’ house

TK drives back to his place. He doesn’t have a lot of time before they have to leave for the Diaz’s but he will make the most of the time he has with his family. He walks into the living room and kisses his husband before telling him and Matias about his day. The oldest is still too young to understand everything about his dads jobs but he knows they are both heroes who save people. Owen would love to see him being a third-generation firefighter but he will never influence his grandkids. Luis is playing on Carlos’ lap, stretching his arms towards TK for him to hug him. Owen was wrong about something, Isabella only got two new pieces of clothes. A dress, bought by Carlos’ mother, and the hoodie Carlos bought her. TK knows that she decided to wear this one because she’s holding his in her tiny hands.

“Oh, you want me to wear mine too, huh?” he asks his 3-year-old daughter. TK grabs his hoodie and carefully puts Luis on the couch next to his dad. “I’m gonna take a quick shower and we’ll be ready to go.” 

Carlos does not reply. He watched over his baby boy while helping Matias finish the drawing he made as a gift for tonight’s hosts. Owen once told his grandkids to never show to someone’s house empty-handed, and even though the Captain was thinking about the nice bottle of wine he always brings when he’s invited somewhere, he’s glad to see that the boy learned that gesture from him. Matias makes sure to draw something lovely every time, and now the whole team has an original Matias Strand-Reyes drawing on their fridge.

The Diaz’s house

Buck just hang up the phone with Carla. They still facetime from time to time. It’s not the same as having her around, but the Diaz family will always have a soft spot for her. She helped them in so many ways, they won’t ever know how to repay her for everything.

Eddie and the rest of the 126 will be here soon. So Buck sets his phone on the kitchen counter, enjoying the view of his entire family on the screen before opening the recipe he was given last week. He still thinks about Carla and a conversation they had a few years ago.

Buck had come home after a quiet shift. His apartment barely felt like home. He used to love it so much but ended up finding it empty and cold. He was so happy during his shift, smiling while working under the burning LA sun. Somehow, his joy disappeared when he crossed the threshold. He was missing something. He didn’t want to stay at his place, so he texted Maddie but she had plans with Chimney. He texted Carla and she just replied with ‘just get your ass here Buckaroo’. Her husband was working late and she cooked extra food so she didn’t mind having Buck for dinner at her place.

As soon as he arrived, she asked him why he wasn’t with Eddie. The second Eddie’s name left her mouth, she couldn’t place another word. Buck started by explaining the firefighter was having a family dinner with his parents and his Abuela. It was one of those rare times his parents were in town and Buck didn’t want to bother them by coming along, even though Eddie invited him. After explaining that, he never stopped talking. He told Carla about the amazing idea Eddie had at work to save a girl, and then he kept on talking about his best friend. Carla could barely speak. She didn’t mind, she loved that boy. He had a kind heart and she knew it the second he knocked on Abby’s door to help her find her mom. It was getting late and they both knew it because Buck commented on the fact that Eddie and Chris’ dinner was probably done since Eddie had sent him a picture of Chris falling asleep in front of the movie. Helena and Ramon didn’t seem to be there and Buck assumed they went back to sleep at their hotel. Carla looked at him with a huge smile.

 “What?” Buck genuinely asked her, not realizing what she was smiling about.

 “You’ve been talking about Eddie for two hours Buckaroo.”

 “No. I’m-I’m not” he babbled. “I’m just making conversation.”

 “It’s okay. I know you love him.”

 “Of course I love him. I love all my team” he said, trying to control his voice that started to crack.

“That’s not what I mean. You are in love with him, Buck.”

 “I-I’m not. We are best friends. He’s my best friend.” he repeated, more to convince himself to convince her. 

He hugged her goodbye, and spent the next hours in his empty apartment, looking around. He saw Eddie’s key on his key ring, the dishes from the dinner they had together the night before were still in the sink, and the shopping list on his fridge had Eddie’s handwriting on it because he knew Buck always forgot important stuff while shopping, so his best friend adds them on the list to be sure he gets everything he needs. Eddie and his son’s presence is everywhere, from Chris’ drawing next to the shopping list on the fridge, to his bedside table where the framed pictures from the first time they went to see Santa together next to the one of him and Maddie. But none of them were in the room, and that was the reason why his place felt the cold. For the first time in a while, he did not spend his free time with the Diaz boys. 

Carla was right. He needed Eddie like he needed air. He loved Eddie. This realization scared him. He could not love him. His friend would freak out and leave him if he knew Buck loved him. But Buck was the one freaking out and he couldn’t stop himself from picturing every possible scenario in his head. He was about to grab his jacket to go out when he realized he didn’t even take it off after coming back from Carla’s. He took his key and jumped in his jeep.

Buck can barely hear Eddie coming behind him. The blonde is slightly bending on the kitchen counter, cutting vegetables. It’s one of the rare moments where he looks smaller than Eddie. Taking advantage of Buck’s position, the older man rests his head in between Buck’s neck and his shoulder, lacing both his hands around his husband’s waist and watches him preparing their dinner. Eddie’s muscles are tense from work, and the nap in the bunk room didn’t do any good to his body, but feeling the man he loves in his arms is exactly what he needs to feel better. Buck smells like home; the scent of the dinner he’s cooking, the perfume of the kids shampoo from when he gave a bath to Andrea before and the gentle musk of the aftershave they both use. 

It’s their time to host the 126 monthly dinner and Buck wants it to be perfect because he knows these nights are as important for their kids as it is for them. Andrea is always enjoying being around the rest of the kids, and she loves when they are hosting it because she gets to play house and entertain her crowd. Both men know she will be in the kitchen with them in no time, she always is. Eddie notices his husband looks distracted.

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” he said, while both his hands are still around him. His fingers are slowly touching Buck to bring him back from the thoughts he seems to be lost in.

His head is still playing back the memories of the day that changed his life forever. 

In front of the Diaz’s door, Buck froze. He turned his back to the door and started walking back to his car. It was late, it was stupid. He should go home. But he moved towards the door again. It was dark and cold outside, and Buck was pacing, not knowing what to do. His heart wanted to go towards Eddie while his head told him to go back home and forget everything Carla told him. But his feet didn’t know who to listen to. He knocked gently on the door before he had time to think about what his mouth was supposed to say.

Eddie looked at him, and smiled before letting him in. He was not really surprised to see Buck at his door. There was always beer in the fridge and his favorite snacks somewhere in case his friend showed up. 

“I don’t want to lose you,” Buck whispered. Eddie was close enough to hear it, but he didn’t understand it. Where was this coming from? None of them were injured during their shift, Eddie had no intention of moving out, things were fine and Buck was not making any sense.

“You won’t lose me Buck. I’m fine, and I’m not going anywhere”.

“But I might lose you,” Buck said, a little louder but he looked more scarred that Eddie had ever seen him. “You might never want to see me again.”

“That won’t happen. Not to us.” Eddie promised him, he meant it. He was never gonna let anything come in between them. “Talk to me, man.”

“I can’t. I can’t do this” Buck was turning his back on him, putting his hand on the door handle to run home and forget this. Eddie placed his hand on Buck’s to stop him from opening the door.

“I can’t risk losing what we have” the blonde said, his back still turned away from his friend.

“Okay, now you are scaring me” Eddie confessed, while he gently forced Buck to turn his face to him. He was not letting him go. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“It’s not my head that’s the problem.”

“What’s your problem?” as soon as the words left his mouth, they echoed with their argument during his first day, but his tone is gentle. Just like this day, Eddie’s eyes won’t leave Buck.

“You’re my problem” Buck replied, and Eddie’s mind is definitely went back to the gym where they had that heated talk. This time Buck’s voice is not angry. He’s almost whispering and his gaze left Eddie’s eyes to look at the hand, nicely rested on his shoulder, his thumb gently pressed on Buck’s neck, slowly coming up to be on his face, and that’s exactly the problem. His heart is racing against his chest and he feels like if the other man comes any closer his heart will beat so hard he will jump out of his chest and crumble on the floor.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“There is nothing wrong with you, Eddie. You’re perfect, you’re too perfect. I l-” he tried to stop himself but it was too late. The words were half unspoken and he had to finish what he started. Carla’s voice was playing on repeat in his head and Eddie was still looking at him. He didn’t know for how long he was silent. The sound of his heart sounded even louder suddenly as Eddie’s left hand mirrored his right one on the other side of Buck’s cheeks. Using his gentle hold on his face to force Buck to look at him, Eddie broke the unbearable silence.

“There’s nothing you can say that could make me love you less” Eddie said. Buck’s lips were finally moving to say something before he fully registered what the other just said.

“Wh-What?” Buck rambled.

“You heard me Buck” Eddie said softly. But if it meant the face in between his hands can finally stop shaking, he was willing to say it as many times as he needed to. “I’m in love with you, you fool. And I’m seriously hoping that that’s what you were trying to say or I will be the fool”.

Buck nodded, still shaking. He didn’t know what else to do, but Eddie was cupping his head his tender hands, and the shaking stopped when Eddie’s lips met his.

They definitely had to thank Carla for that and she was pretty proud to include this in her toast at their wedding reception years later. 

Smiling, Buck fully comes back to reality. Eddie’s body against his is anchoring him to the present. Sometimes it’s still feels like a dream, all of it seems too good to be true. But it is real, as real as Eddie’s breath against the back of his neck.

“I just- I just love you Eddie.” the man declares like it’s the first time. Eddie does not need to hear him say it to know how much his husband loves him. But he will never get tired of hearing those three words.

“And I love you too” he replies while placing a kiss down Buck’s neck. No matter how many times he says these words, he will always feel like the man in front of him is constantly surprised to hear that he is loved. He could repeat them for the rest of their lives if it means to be greeted by the most genuine smile in return. “But this house is soon going to be full of hungry kids” he reminded him before they both lost themselves in the moment “and we don’t want to hear TK bragging about Carlos’ cooking skills.”

 “You wanna turn this diner into a cooking competition, Diaz?” Buck teases.

 “You know you’ve been a Diaz too for the past five years, right?” Eddie asks and there’s suddenly a wide grin on Buck’s face.

“I know, I just love the sound of that.” Buck sighs when he feels Eddie’s hands leaving his body, but his pout turns into another big smile when he feels his fingers taking the knife out of his hand to help him with the cooking. 

Eddie cuts the vegetables left on the kitchen counter when Buck happily starts the rest of the recipe. Andrea appears in between them but has no interest in helping with the dinner. She’s only interested when her dad is making desserts, so she can give a hand and fill her stomach at the same time. By the time Eddie arrived, the cake is already on the oven, so Andrea just hangs with her dads while they do the rest of the boring work. She’s five but she’s already teasing her older dad on his lack of cooking skill.

“Dada” she said while clinging to Buck’s leg, “Don’t let daddy cook. I’m hungry.”

Buck can’t hold his laugh in, and Eddie would be lying if he said he didn’t find it cute. He took her by the hand and guided her towards the cupboard.

“What if you helped me set the table while Dada makes us something we can actually enjoy?” Eddie asked her with a big smile. 

Andrea is not complaining, setting the table is something she really enjoys, it’s something usually the grownups do in their house and she feels like a big girl when she is doing it. Eddie gives her the plastic plates for the kids’ table, and she happily walks towards the table where she’s about to have a great time with her friends. She puts the green plate next to hers because she knows it’s Matias’ favorite color. Bella is going to be in front of her, next to Tucker Ryder. And for the rest of the kids, the smaller ones, they will be on their parents’ lap, at the grownup table. Aside from Bella, the other kids never complained about sitting at another table, they all love to have their secret conversations without their parents being here. 

“Can I help?” Chris asks. His voice is joyful. He loves those dinners too. Especially since, unlike his sister, he gets to be at the adult table. The 14-years-old has known the 126 for a long time, they are his family.

Before Eddie can think of something he could ask his son to do, the door rang.

“Well, you can welcome our guests, buddy,” he says before jogging to the kitchen to see if the dinner is ready.

“Buck, don’t let dad near the food” Chris jokes before opening the door.

In a few minutes the first guests will arrive and the pressure from the day will vanish, and be replaced with love, laughter and happiness. No matter how tired everyone is after a shift like this one, knowing they are together in this will always make things better. 

[stydiaeverafter]

We are the lucky ones

Fandom: 9-1-1: Lone Star

Pairing: TK Strand/Carlos Reyes

Tags: established relationship, domestic fluff, love, world travel, honeymoon, family, family fluff, conversations, married life, romance, kissing

Words: 2k | Rating: T | On ao3

Summary: TK and Carlos have been through many adventures since finding one another, but they’ll now start their biggest adventure yet, as husbands.

A/N: This fic is for @911lonestarweek Day 6 - Romance. So, of course, I had to write the lovely Tarlos. I hope you fall in love with these stories as much as I did. I had a wonderful time participating in this event! This is dedicated, as always, to my Junkyard Fam; couldn’t have done it without the support of you all! With love, J.

We are the lucky ones

When one thinks of true love, you think of the moment where you’re standing hand-in-hand with the one who knows you better than anyone else. Your past gets lost within a distance abyss and all that lies in the future is in front of you. That was what TK felt as he confidently and happily said the two words, “I do,” as he stared in the eyes of the man who knew him better than he knew himself.

“I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss one another.”

As TK kissed Carlos, his now-husband, he felt as though it finally all made sense. Those fortune cookies had been right after all. The journey had been worth it.

***

“What are you thinking of, mi amor?”

TK looked over at the love of his life as Carlos drove the winding roads, “You. Our wedding.”

“Best day of my life.”

“Mine too, babe,” TK replied with a grin as he intertwined his fingers into his husband’s. Husband. What a word. The word itself made him happier beyond belief. Who would’ve thought after everything they had been through, it would have led them to this moment right here, right now? It was a miracle in itself. “So where to now?”

“The turn said to go right in a few more miles, but as you know driving on the other side of the road might take us a bit longer than that to actually get there.”

TK chuckled as he leaned over to kiss Carlos’ cheek, “You’re a natural, baby. Truly. Just like everything else you try.”

Carlos looked over at him with a sly smile, narrowing his eyes slightly as if questioning TK’s motives.

“It would actually be annoying if I didn’t love you so damn much.”

A burst of laughter left Carlos and he shook his head, his fingers playing with TK’s wedding band, “There’s the man I married.” The comfort between the two of them had reached a new level that even TK hadn’t been prepared for, yet welcomed happily. This was heaven. This moment with his husband.

They decided to explore Ireland for their honeymoon. Renting a car to see the sights at their own pace, was an absolute must.

The hills were lush green and not just green, but patched together like an emerald quilt, was every shade of green.

Sprinkled along the sides of certain roads, were abandoned castles that were left from long ago. Often they would stop to explore their surroundings, sharing a kiss or two under the ivy grown stone arches. They were so hauntingly beautiful. Stories of the past etched along the fallen walls; secrets kept well hidden. It was as if they had gone back in time to live within a fairytale.

The two of them finally made it to the small town of Cork and were attempting to find their inn for the night. It didn’t help that there were so many one way streets attempting to block their way. Seeing Carlos focus on driving with such determination was both admirable and hot as hell.

TK knew he needed to be staring at the sights for they were beautiful, but all he saw was the man he was lucky enough to spend the rest of his life with.

***

They had finally made it to a quiet yet charming haven for the night. Their room was small but cozy. It had a fireplace in the corner, and the window overlooked the small village.

Spending dinner together was something TK couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life doing, especially because Carlos was such an amazing cook. But here they were reminiscing over candlelight and enjoying each other’s company. TK loved that he could open up and be himself with Carlos; never any restrictions to be himself. Even the parts that weren’t so pretty. There was never any judgment. That’s what he loved most about being with Carlos - he felt safe.

Being in Ireland, it was tradition to end the night at the local tavern. They didn't do this often, so they thought when in Ireland. The music was excellent and it was wonderful to see the people come alive in their element. Carlos even got him to do a little dancing jig. Carlos was a natural of course, which must’ve been all the line dancing back in Austin. As the night went on, they laughed as Carlos sipped on whiskey and Guinness. Carlos was getting all bashful, as he danced in his chair. 

"You're looking sexy tonight, sweetheart. Did I tell you that yet?"

TK laughed, placing a finger under Carlos' chin, "How drunk are you, husband?" 

"Drunk enough to want to have my way with you right now," Carlos smiled seductively with a wink. He kissed TK's cheek softly but lingered there. 

The thought of Carlos’ hands on his body made him tremble in anticipation and love. TK would never get used to the act of making love together. He looked at his husband and his heart started beating faster. The man was just so beautiful. They both shared that look. It was time to go. 

“Baby, I think it’s time I get you to our humble abode,” Carlos whispered in his ear softly with a smirk still left on his lips. He kissed the skin behind TK’s ear and TK’s whole body trembled in pleasure. More would soon follow.

“Yes, Officer.”

***

Making love to Carlos always felt new and different. Each time was so special in its own way. His husband knew just how to make him breathless each time. They spend hours together in those sheets, on the rug, and even a few times in the shower.

Carlos moved his body against TK’s in a way that made his eyes continue to roll back; their hands sliding together, then squeezing tightly...a thin layer of sweat covering the curves of their body. Their foreheads came together and they took each other in. Moans were the serenade of music for that night. Better than any Irish tune TK had ever heard.

During all the passionate kisses, touches, and moving embraces, there were always the words of “I love you,” repeatedly. As if those were the only words that truly mattered. They were always sealed with a kiss.

Afterward, they cuddled in front of the fireplace on a few blankets from the small bed. It was a log fire and TK had to admit the crackling of it added to the ambiance of this romantic evening. Then again, this was how every evening went with them.

TK truly couldn’t seem to get enough. He could kiss Carlos every second of every day of their lives together, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

But that hope of having each other for that long was enough.

He looked over at his now sleeping husband. So damn beautiful in every way. How could someone possibly be that beautiful? Reaching over, TK’s fingers softly grazed Carlos’ cheek. Carlos’ lips flickered into a smile as he slept. He could stare at him forever. That was how long he wanted to watch over this man. His man.

***

This was how the days that followed went about. Traveling the Emerald Isle, staying at quaint locations, eating delicious foods, and spending time in one another’s arms.

Today they were headed to the Cliffs of Moher, somewhere TK had always wanted to see. It was almost sunset when they arrived because they had to stop and take pictures whenever they saw something breathtaking, which was every couple of minutes in Ireland.

They walked hand-in-hand listening to the crashing waves of the ocean as it hugged the side of the cliffs. As they overlooked, TK was in awe. He’d never seen anything like this before. This type of natural beauty. It wasn’t something you’d ever see in NYC, even though the buildings were as tall as the cliffs.

“Pretty amazing, isn’t it?” Carlos said as he broke the silence of their thoughts. “I don’t think pictures could ever do this justice.” When TK didn’t reply, Carlos squeezed his hand, “Are you okay, mi amor?”

“I’m just…” How could he ever convey the feelings he was feeling right now? It wasn’t just the standing here overlooking something so magnificent that it took his breath away; it was the fact he was sitting here standing with the love of his life sharing this moment. It felt as if his life was just starting in many ways. He looked over at Carlos who wore a worried expression. “I’m just so lucky to be here with you right now. How in the world did I get so lucky to have a life like this?”

Carlos smiled gently, the lines creasing his beautiful soft cheeks, “I believe it was fate. We were meant to find each other in this chapter of our lives.”

“It was certainly worth the wait.”

Carlos replied by kissing TK’s hand, “That it was sweetheart, that it was.”

“I’ll remember this moment forever.”

Their lips came together to share a sweet kiss. Slowly and first, then growing deeper. They pulled away and chuckled softly.

“I will, too,” Carlos said as he rubbed TK’s arms gently. “We can tell our kids about it one day, hell, we can bring them back to this same spot even.”

TK smiled at the thought, “Kids huh? You’d be an amazing father, babe.”

“I would hope so! You would be, too. Warms my heart even thinking about it.”

“I owe that to my dad. I was fortunate to be raised by such a good man. So loving and accepting of who I am. I want to be just like him.” TK smiled at the thoughts of his father, so relieved he was getting healthier every single day. “He’ll make a wonderful grandpa one day… he’s only talked about it for years now. He keeps saying ‘I’m not getting any younger here.’”

“Yeah, especially if he starts finding white hairs on that head of his! We’ll really have to hurry and start a family then,” Carlos laughed shaking his head and TK nodded with the following smirk. “But truly, he’s one of the good ones for sure. I’ve always admired your father so deeply. I’ve said it before, but I wish I had had that growing up.” He sighed deep and low, “But luckily, my mom was my rock.”

“Your mom is pretty much the most amazing person, especially her cooking. Yes, you can call her and tell her I said so. Which of course you know that I’m grateful for, my stomach, too,” He squeezed Carlos’ hand again as his husband smiled. TK got serious again for a moment as he looked towards the sunset, “I’ve learned over the years, that all you really need is one person to make you feel truly loved.”

“Amen to that.”

They were quiet for a while listening to the waves as they moved back-and-forth.

As they sat there in that quietly beautiful peace, TK couldn’t stop imagining Carlos reading to their child, teaching him or her how to cook as they danced around the kitchen, how to play ball, and even learn an instrument. This vision truthfully had been there all along, hadn’t it?

Finally, TK broke the silence and took that leap of faith, “So… speaking of a family, what if we start ours soon?”

Carlos’ head whipped over to look at TK, his chocolate brown eyes widening ever so slightly as if caught by surprise, “Already? But I thought you wanted to wait. We did just get married after all.”

“You’re my family, and I cannot think of anything I’d rather do then extend this little family of ours. I don’t want to waste a day of this. Plus, after all that talk of you being a father, well, the thought is sexier than hell.” He chuckled but in reality, he was serious. He wanted this with Carlos more than anything, and he didn’t want to wait… not anymore. They had already dated for three years. They had traveled, explored, and more. Also, in both of their line of work, the dangerous field it was, tomorrow was never promised. Nothing was ever certain. So why wait for something that could never be? He was ready. Becoming a father would help him grow in ways Carlos had helped him.

Carlos kissed TK softly, “Mi amor, there’s nothing I want more than to start a family with you. It’s what I’ve always wanted since the moment I knew I loved you.”

The vow to their future and the commitment it came with was made. Their lips came together once more and they hugged each other in a way that made you feel a sense of comfort from your head to your toes. Carlos was always the best at hugs. He had said once that his mama had always told him that you hug with everything you have, everything you are. Let the person feel your soul. Well at this moment, TK never wanted to let go.

Before life changed too quickly though, they both sat there watching the sky turn brilliant colors of cotton candy pink and orange fire. They set TK’s phone up to take a photo and after looking at it, Carlos was right, the picture didn’t do the moment justice.

But as they walked away, TK realized that life was like a snapshot of moments captured over time. Moments that sometimes would fade from your mind, but imprint onto your heart forever.

He was looking forward to creating a life full of snapshots.

[darkjanet2]

Drusilla's Soul Chapter 11 Part 2

Davis walked over to get a little drink but hundreds of green slimy Digimon called Numemon swarmed out. TK and Kari turned around when they heard screaming and they saw Davis on the ground in horror. TK and Kari burst out laughing.

“Ha ha, very funny.” said Davis, sarcastically as he got up and continued following them.

Davis asked, “So were those things Digimon?”

Kari nodded, “Yep, there are tons of other ones, a lot cuter than those.”

“And a lot scarier ones, too.” added TK.

“Do they all come out of vending machines?” Davis asked.

There were two creatures that appeared to see their partners and they were happy to see them. The winged-ears creature had blue eyes, orange fur and cream underbelly fur, and stubby legs with black claws. And the white feline had purple tuft tips of her ears and tail, her long tail striped purple and white without a Holy Ring. She must have been attacked by Unimon.

“TK!” Patamon cried, flew into TK’s arms and TK was ecstatic.

“Patamon! Boy, am I glad to see you!” said TK, it had been so long that he and Patamon were partners ever since he was 8. Davis freaked out a bit.

And there was a young man who appeared in the forest. He had big, brown bushy hair attached to his blue headband and black circular goggles, and wearing a green high school uniform.

“Tai! I told those guys you'd be alright!” said Davis.

Tai looked surprised, “Davis! What're you doing here!?”

“ Kari!” Gatomon jumped into Kari's arm and the both of them hugged, causing Kari to laugh with joy.

“Gatomon!” Kari gasped when she saw Gatomon wasn't wearing her favourite accessory. “Your tail ring! Tell me what happened.”

*Flashback*

Horn Blaster!

Unimon blasted a ball of energy that engulfed Gatomon. She screamed in pain and slammed into a tree. Gatomon dropped to the ground in pain from the attack. Gatomon opened her eyes to see Unimon preparing to stomp her out of existence. Despite her exhaustion and the damage she had taken, the small cat Digimon managed to roll away but Unimon stomped on her tail ring and was stuck to the ground. Gatomon noticed her tail ring is stuck but her survival instincts kick in when Unimon attacked again.

Horn Blaster!

She went on the prowl on all fours.

*End Flashback*

“A few weeks ago, this bossy human appeared and began making Digimon into his slaves. He said "I'm the Digimon Emperor!" I heard we're all gonna have to punch a time clock, too.” said Gatomon.

“Another human? You mean that someone else comes here besides us? There goes the neighbourhood.” said TK.

Gatomon nodded, “Yeah, and he's got this strange new Dark Digivice that makes us unable to Digivolve.”

Davis took his Digivice out of his pocket and showed it to Gatomon. “Like this one?”

Gatomon pointed a paw at his Digivice. “That's it! The Dark Digivice looked exactly like that. You work for the Digimon Emperor”!

“What!? I don't work for anybody, besides mine's not dark! I just got this thing when it came out of the computer!” Davis was outraged by the accusation.

‘So that's what came out of the egg when I picked it up, 3 new Digivices but why did Davis get one? What's his purpose in the Digital World and more importantly…who got the other 2 Digivices?’ Tai thought.

“The Dark Digivice is draining out power and making us all weak as newborn kittens.

Everything makes sense now as to why Agumon couldn't Digivolve before.” said Gatomon

“That's why you couldn't Digivolve!” said Tai, putting his hands on his waist.

Agumon crossed his arms furiously, “Yeah, if I could Digivolve , he wouldn't stand a chance!”

“What's worse, is now that I've lost my Tail Ring my powers have been cut in half, so I'm just about as useful as Rookie Digimon.” Gatomon turned to Agumon and Patamon. “No offense, you guys.”

“None taken.” said Agumon & Patamon in unison.

A Dark ring which the Digimon Emperor was using to eavesdrop on the Digi-destined flies was undetected.

“The Digimon Emperor uses these powerful Dark Rings to control the Digimon.” said Gatomon.

“Yeah, and once the ring captures you, you're a slave for life.” said Patamon.

“Those collars do everything but get rid of fleas.” said Gatomon.

Kari looked pretty pissed. “Digimon Emperor! I'm gonna slap a Dark Ring on him!”

The Digi-destined were now standing in front of the Digi-egg with Crest of Courage on it.

“Looks like a deflated beach ball, no wonder it's got a spike through it.”

“Yeah, plus it's heavier than my mom's meatloaf.” said Tai.

TK walked over and attempted to lift it up with effort but it wouldn’t move.

“It won't budge!” said TK.

“Move aside, this is a woman's job.” Kari tried to lift it with effort too but failed.

“Too bad we don't have a woman here to help.” said TK

“Guys I pump iron all the time, let me do it!” said Davis.

Davis walked over to the egg and bent down. He grabbed on the egg and expected it to be hard to pick up but it required so little effort he picked it up and landed on his back, shocking Tai and the others.

“ What did I tell ya? Light as a feather, you guys need to work out a little more.” said Davis.

“There's a problem.” said Tai.

Suddenly, an orange pillar of light burst out from the hold that was beneath the egg. A black shape was formed inside the light. It's revealed to be a small blue dragon like creature with a v-shaped mark in between his eyes. He was curled into a fetal position and opened his eyes. He exited the light in excitement.

He hops around a gobsmacked Davis. “Free at last! Free at last! You moved the Digi-egg. He stops. My name's Veemon, but you can just call me Veemon.”

“Hi, I'm Davis.” said Davis, who was in awestruck.

Digimon Analyser (Agumon): I've heard of Veemon. Supposedly he's a fun loving, adventure seeking little Digimon that brings you good luck but I thought he was just a legend.

“Nope, I'm real alright and I've been waiting a very long time to meet ya Davis.” said Veemon.

“Uh…I think you got the wrong guy.” said Davis.

“Nope, you're the one alright because you're the only one who was able to move the Digi-egg of Courage.” said Veemon.

‘That's right, even though I had the Crest of Courage I couldn't move the Digi-egg but Davis could…’ Tai thought.

Tai was taken out of his thoughts when the entire cave began to rumble and rock fell from the ceiling.

The Monochromon the Digimon Emperor sent bashes through the ceiling and roars.

“It's a monster!” screamed Davis.

“No! That's a Digimon!” cried Kari.

“Monochromon!” TK cried.

Monochromon went through the big hole he made and slid down the wall.

Digimon Analyser (TK): Monochromon! His shell is harder than diamonds! His attack, a volcanic strike sends out millions of fireballs.

Boom Bubble!

Pepper Breath!

Agumon and Patamon blast out their respective attacks but they barely faze Monochromon.

Lightning Paw!

Gatomon leapt with her fist clenched and slammed it against his face but as expected, she was pretty much useless without her tail ring. Monochromon wasn’t hurt at all and smacked the diminutive champion level Digimon with his tail. Gatomon screamed in pain and slams against the wall.

Kari ran to her partner. “Gatomon! Gatomon, are you okay?!

Gatomon opened her eyes a bit.

“I'm sorry, Kari, but without my Tail Ring, I'm useless.” said Gatomon.

Volcanic Strike!

A ball of fire flares up within his mouth, prompting everyone to make a run for it.

“Come on, let's go!” TK yelled.

“Davis!” Tai cried.

Davis yelped and followed after them right before Monochromon blasted out a powerful ball of fire. They all screamed as they ran along the cave.d

“Davis, hurry up and open the Digi-egg!” cried Veemon.

“I don't know what you're talking about!” cried Davis.

Davis and Veemon were far behind and Monochromon began to catch up with them. They finally manage to exit the cave and stop by a small Cliffside. Davis turned and couldn't see Monochromon anymore.

“That was close.” said Davis, sighed in relief.

“Davis! Get down here!” cried Tai.

Streams of flames blast out from the cave so Veemon tackled Davis off the cliff in time. Kari on the other hand fell on the ground with Gatomon.

“Davis, tell me what hurts?!” cried Veemon.

“Everything but my ear lobes.” Davis groaned in pain.

“You control the Digi-egg of Courage, you've got to use your courage to open it up.”

Tai ran over to Davis.

“Davis, get up! It's not safe!” said Tai.

Davis lifted himself up and his goggles were badly damaged.

“I can Digivolve if you open the egg but you've got to have the courage to do it!” said Veemon.

Tai nodded, “It's worth a try!”

Everyone but Kari and Gatomon ran over.

Gatomon looked at Kari on the ground holding her ankle in pain.

Gatomon cried, “Kari!”

“I can't move my ankle!” cried Kari.

Monochromon leapt off the cliff and everyone watched in shock as he proceeded to rip Kari to pieces. She gasped in horror.

“Davis!” cried Veemon.

“Have Courage!” cried Tai.

Davis was shocked as his crush was about to get killed. “Kari's in trouble!”

Monochromon got closer and Davis clenched the egg. He stood up and took off his broken goggles. “You want courage! I'll show you courage!”

Veemon cried, “Davis! The magic words are Digi-Armour Energize!”

Davis cried out, “DIGI-ARMOUR ENERGIZE!” He held out the Digi-egg of Courage and it released an orange glow.

Veemon Armour Digivolve to…!

Veemon fused with the Digi-egg and was engulfed by rings of fire that take shape as images of Agumon and all of his digivolutions appear. Out of the fire, claws extend from his fists and then a spike from his helmet.

Flamedramon, the Fire of Courage!

Monochromon ran to Kari but the new fighter rammed into his side and caused him to fall over. Flamedramon lands on the ground.

Veemon has Digivolved into a remarkable Digimon slightly taller than Tai. All parts of his body were flaming pieces of armour, the Crest of Courage is emblazoned on his back, his hand and feet were tipped with sharp claws and a sharp blade sticks out from his head.

The Digi-destined are in complete awe.

Tai couldn’t believe his eyes.

“Armor...Digivolve!” said Tai.

“It was the Digi-egg!” said TK.

“Wow! What's that!?” Davis was amazed that Veemon had changed.

Digimon Analyser (Flamedramon): I'm Flamedramon! As Veemon I use the Digi-egg of Courage to Armour Digivolve. My Fire Rocket attack will charbroil the enemy like a well done steak.

Monochromon charged in but Flamedramon gets into a battle stance. Monochromon rammed into the Fire of Courage who merely held him down and stopped him in place. With incredible strength he lifted Monochromon up and flipped him backwards. A loud crash could be heard throughout the forest and the smoke cleared to reveal Monochromon was on the ground a bit weakened. He opened his eyes and roared. Flamedramon gave a battle cry and went on the offensive.

Volcanic Strike!

He blasted out 3 fireballs but Flamedramon ploughed through and cut them to pieces as if they were paper due to being a fire attribute Digimon. Monochromon growls and charges in again. He lands a hit and sends Flamedramon flying in the air. The others gasped but there was no need because Flamedramon recovers and prepares his special attack.

FIRE ROCKET!

He engulfed himself in a fiery aura and blasted off like a rocket, intent on destroying the dark ring strapped around Monochromon.

“Barbecue that Dark Ring, Flamedramon!” shouted Gatomon.

Flamedramon made a direct hit on the Dark Ring. He flipped up and the Dark Ring was broken off. Flamedramon landed on the ground and was engulfed in a yellow glow. An orange light was released and sent into Davis's Digivice. The light also went into his pocket. Davis checked it and took it out. It's a D-terminal.

“What's this?” He opened it up and the egg was now in his D-terminal.

Flamedramon had de-digivolved to Veemon and Kari had gently rubbed Monochromon who was on the ground in exhaustion.

[detectivecarlosreyes]

Academy Together, Friends Forever 2/10

Also on Ao3    

(Beginning) (Next Chapter)

Buck was on the last flight to Austin that same night after Bobby had allowed him to leave early, making him promise to keep him updated. By the time the plane touched down, it was the early hours of the morning.

He sends a quick text to Owen, letting him know he’s arrived and on his way to the hospital. While he waits for a response, he bounces his knee with nervous energy as his anxiety for TK grows with each passing minute.

Buck frowns down at his phone as the Uber pulls up to the hospital. Owen still hasn’t responded, but after looking at the time, he’s not surprised. Thanking the driver, Buck hikes his rucksack high on his shoulder and heads inside.  

Dusting off his rusty charm, Buck manages to sweet talk his way up to the TK’s room despite the fact that it was well after visiting hours. He thanks the nurse graciously with a smile and a light touch on the arm before pausing in the doorway and taking in the scene before him.

Owen was passed out with his head resting on the bed next to TK’s hand which he holds firmly in his own. Buck grimaces at the posture, he knows for a fact that Owen is going to wake up aching all over; something he learned the hard way waiting for Maddie and Chim to recover from their own ordeals.

Buck quietly sets his pack down out of the way against the wall and moves over to Owen’s sleeping form. Grabbing the folded blanket that had been placed on the side table, he opens it up and gently drapes it over him. Owen doesn’t even stir, indicating how completely exhausted he must already be waiting for his son to wake.

Which brings Buck’s attention to the man in question. He pulls up a chair to the other side of TK and passes a critical eye over his visible body.  Physically, you would barely even know that TK had been injured aside from the edge of gauze peeking out the top of his hospital gown.

Buck leans forward in his chair, resting his elbow on the bed and carefully takes TK’s free hand in his, being careful of the IV tube attached to the back of his hand. He bows his head touching his forehead to TK’s fingers and prays. He prays to the unforgiving universe to spare TK, just like it spared him so many times over in recent years.

Not releasing his hand, Buck settles back in his chair, tapping his finger in time with the heart rate monitor on his knee. He sits unmoving for the next several hours, keeping a silent vigil over his brother while the rest of the hospital continues to sleep.

** ** **

Owen wakes slowly to the quiet sounds of the hospital waking up for the day. He groans as his neck and back protest the position he subjected it to. Straightening up with a yawn, he feels the lightweight of the blanket fall from his shoulders. Frowning in confusion, he wonders where it came from, knowing for sure that it wasn’t there when he fell asleep.

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he starts to notice the subtle changes that seemed to have appeared while he was sleeping; the half-empty plastic cup of water sitting on the nightstand, the chair on the other side of the bed is in a completely different position, the bag resting against the wall and TK’s other hand had moved to his stomach.

 The scuffed sound of boots behind him pulls him from his observations to reveal one rather tired-looking Buck. Owen watches him as his focus goes immediately to TK as he assesses any changes, before eventually noticing that Owen was awake.

“Hey, Owen. I got you some coffee, figured you might need it after sleeping in that chair.” Offering a half-smile, he passes Owen one of the two coffee cups in his hands which Owen accepts only to set it down on the table and pulling Buck in close for a warm hug.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” He pulls back, running an evaluating look over Buck’s face, not liking what he’s seeing. “When did you get here?”

They move back to their chosen seats and sip at their coffee. “The flight landed just after midnight and then I came straight to the hospital.”

“And from the looks of it you’ve probably been awake this whole time, when was the last time you slept?” His concern clear in his voice.  

Buck scratches behind his ear in discomfort and looks away, knowing Owen was not going to like his answer. “I had a couple of hours at work which was maybe like nineteen hours ago, but if you’re talking a proper sleep, that would have been before my shift, making it around 30 hours or so.”

Owen's eyes widen in disbelief. “Thirty hours! Jeez Buck, how are you even functioning right now? You flew here after a 24-hour shift only to sit here and watch the two of us sleep. You should have woken me.”

Buck shrugs and shakes his head, “You looked exhausted. I wasn’t going to wake you, knowing that you probably haven’t slept much yourself while watching over him.”

Owen looks over at TK and then at Buck, taking him in completely and seeing his weary posture and bleary eyes. “Alright, let’s go.”

“What! Why?” Buck quietly exclaims.

He moves around the bed and picks up Buck’s pack. “You and I are going home.” 

“Owen, it’s alright, you don’t have to. I was just going to get a hotel room.”

Owen waves a dismissive hand at Buck’s words, “No way, no son of mine is going to stay in a hotel room when I have a perfectly good guest room he can stay in. You need sleep and I need a shower and breakfast, it’s a win-win situation here.”

Buck gestures to the sleeping form of TK, “What about TK? I don’t want him to be here alone, what if he wakes up and we’re not here?”

Owen chuckles, “His ‘boyfriend’ Carlos,” he says with air quotations, “said yesterday that he’d stop by before work.”

Seeing movement by the door, Owen smiles. “Speaking of which, perfect timing.”

Said man was hovering in the doorway until Owen beckons him inside, introducing the two of them. He watches as they shake hands, making a brief assessment of each other before smiling in greeting and he can’t help but shake his head at their protective posturing.

Glad that they seem to approve of each other, Owen gestures to Buck that they should head out while saying to Carlos that he’d be back in an hour or so. Buck smirks as they leave, happy to see that TK found someone much more worthy of his respect and TK’s affections than his ex.

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[showbizchicago]

Interview with Pulitzer Prize Winning Playwright TONY KUSHNER

Known for his groundbreaking works including the Pulitzer Prize-winning Angels in America and the Olivier-awarded Caroline, Or Change, Tony Kushner has become one of the most prolific playwrights of our generation.  I sat down with Mr. Kushner who was in Chicago to receive the Chicago Tribune Literary Prize as part of the Chicago Humanities Festival. MJR:Let’s talk about The Intelligent Homosexual’s Guide to Capitalism and Socialism with a Key to the Scriptures, a new work that you developed at the Guthrie Theatre in Minneapolis this past year.  How did the concept come to fruition for you? TK: The way all ideas come about. I had been thinking for a very long time about writing it a play that dealt specifically with LGBT issues and I had also been thinking of dealing with Marxism onstage in the Perestroika era. I’ve always wanted to do something about American Marxism or American Communism specifically so all of that came together when Joe Dowling asked me to do a new play for the celebration that the Guthrie did of my work. They performed Caroline, Or Change and 5 short plays last spring. MJR: Speaking of Caroline, Or Change, the Chicago production mounted by Court Theatre won four Joseph Jefferson Awards including Best Musical was an unequivocal success.  Tell us about your partnership with Jeanine Tesori during the development of Caroline. TK: Jeanine is an amazingly talented composer. In my opinion the best composer writing for the theatre living. I am enormously happy and consider myself very fortunate that we hooked up. I never enjoyed working with anyone as much as I enjoyed working with Jeanine. We’re currently working on a new piece together. MJR: Story-wise, Caroline, or Change explored your upbringing in Louisiana. What was the process of transferring a semi-autobiographical narrative to the musical stage? TK: Well of course Caroline is a fictional character. The character is loosely based on the woman who worked as a maid for my family when I was a kid. It was actually dedicated to her.  She just turned 80. There are episodes and certain details in the play that are absolutely from my childhood. I grew up in Louisiana. But the piece is not autobiographic in any kind of reliable sense. The character of Caroline is some degree based on but many of the details of her life are different.

Jeff Award Winner E. Faye Butler in CAROLINE OR CHANGE MJR: As a playwright, what was the most challenging component of musicalizing text to propel a narrative? TK: I wrote the whole thing before I started working with Jeanine so in a way it was like writing a play. It was in a loosely rhymed and metered verse. To some degree it’s like learning a new language because there’s a lot about musical theatre that requires very specific skills that I do not have. I have very little experience working with the form. So I was guided to a great extent by Jeanine and by George Wolfe . But there was a lot that I had to learn about how to construct a moment with music. Caroline is essentially an opera, it’s through-composed. We were both learning a lot while we were doing it. I’m working with Jeanine now on a new piece and I’ve already begun things I didn’t know. In some ways Caroline was easier than most of the plays that I’ve done because it was so much more collaborative. Once I had written a libretto in the first draft I began to work with Jeanine very closely; I wrote the words, she wrote the music with much overlap. We went through every word and every note very thoroughly. I had to learn a very different tempo in terms of how to do re-writes because if you’re doing a musical and you exchange a line, that changes any of the music. And in previews you’re dealing with giant and very cumbersome machinery, and orchestrations. The singers have to learn the music which is a very different process than just learning a new line so it was complicated. MJR: The musical spurred quite a reaction here at Chicago’s Court Theatre. Have audiences received the show differently in varying parts of the country? TK: I actually haven’t seen it in the South yet. It’s been done in a few places including Lake Charles. Everywhere that it’s been done it’s been very successful, people have responded with great enthusiasm. It was a big hit in London, it won the Olivier award. It’s done very well everywhere. Certainly there are times when it’s felt very different. Jeanine and I came out to see it in Chicago right before the election, right down the street from the Obama house. That was certainly a different kind of feeling, kind of an electric and exciting feeling to be let into the Court in the anticipation of the election. Last spring when it was at the Guthrie it was interesting to see the play post-Obama. Obviously the line when Noah says Caroline is the President of the United States meant one thing 45 years ago. Now when there actually is an African American president in the United States it has a slightly different quality. That’s true for most plays today; the surrounding context changes in locale and time, and they become different.

MJR: HBO has been showing Angels in America for the past month. That dramatic sequence was groundbreaking for several communities. How do you think LGBT issues have shaped theatre in the past two decades, and how has theatre informed the community? TK: Well I don’t think my play . I think that one could say that with Larry Kramer’s The Normal Heart.   It coincided with relating to the AIDS epidemic for our community. Angels in America came around later. I have no idea what Angels did or didn’t accomplish beyond the fact that it’s a good play. And that’s the most I ever hoped for. The question of the relationship between LGBT politics and theatre is an interesting one. Obviously an enormous number of people who work in theatre are from the sexual minority area and community. I think there’s a reason for that. It’s where we’ve been contributing to theatre in percentages disproportionate to our percentage in the normal population. And I think that on one hand it’s the case that communities of the oppressed very often find a home in the theatre because people who are oppressed learn the difference between what something seems to be and what it actually is; irony, which is an important ingredient in the theatre, the shaking of reality- these are all things that are part of the everyday life of everyone who has a lived experience of oppression. So I think it makes sense that we would be found in greater numbers in the theatre. Theatre is always very quick to respond to moments of social crisis because it doesn’t take any money or particular organization of capital  to make a play. You just find a good writer, actors, director, and a theatre willing to do it and you can put together a play about any subject fairly quickly, certainly much more quickly than you can with most instances of film or television. Theatre is always a good quick response. It is also the place that we go to in order to grapple with social issues of real moment. If you allow Angels to be anything other than a good play, it allowed for a moment in the early 90s at the end of the first chapter to provide a public place for mourning the people who had died in the phase of the epidemic. It was also way of celebrating the end of the Reagan era; there was a great deal of release when Clinton beat the first Bush. We thought, however incorrectly, that we had closed the door on the nightmare of Reaganism which was a pernicious ideology that appeared at the same time as the AIDS virus. So I think that the play was about those things, connected to those things, and provided a public opportunity. MJR: You just finished wrapping up a new screenplay on both the life and work of Abraham Lincoln for Steven Spielberg. What provokes your interest in this particular era of our nation’s history? TK: I worked on for the last three years. We’re working on moving it into the next phase. It’s the time period where every tension and every unresolved conflict in American history prior to the Civil War came to a boil, and eventual explosion. Everything that this country is struggling to become emerges from the crucible of the Civil War. I think Abraham Lincoln, in my opinion, is inarguably our greatest president and one of the greatest people that ever lived- just a completely remarkable figure. I am tremendously interested in him and in his era. MJR: Your stage works are inherently both dialogic and dialectic in form. What keeps your interest in film as a narrative medium, especially since it is often one that focuses on the monologic story? TK: I think film is an extraordinary medium. Many great works of art in the 20th century were created by filmmakers. I feel that’s it’s more narrative driven than theatre, it’s certainly more all-encompassing kind of illusion. I think it doesn’t play as much as theatre does with questions of illusion and reality. To a certain extent I feel as though film is a degree more isolating, it’s perhaps less of a communal experience, though certainly the thing that all the audience’s attention is focused on does not respond to what the audience is telling it. It’s the same from one showing to the next. Obviously there are some stories that cannot be told onstage that can be told on film, there’s just a mathematical question of how many individuals can be reached by a film or television show as opposed to theatre. For me there’s a certain pleasure in surrendering the absolute authority; a playwright in the theatre has, if nothing else, the authority that comes from property ownership. I own the play, I rent the play to the producers, directors, and actors to perform, but it’s mine. When people get together to do a play one of the only common grounds they have to stand is the script. In film, it’s much more the director. The playwright doesn’t own his or her own words. It’s interesting to me and in some ways enjoyable to hand that authority over to somebody else and to be one person among a number who is working to create this final product, but not the person who finally has the decisive say in what it’s going to be. I’ve gotten to work with a few artists I admire enormously Steven Spielberg, Mike Nichols…that’s been thrilling. I got to watch both of them make a movie and I’ve learned a lot from doing that. MJR: You’ve noted before your concern of reducing characters, specifically individuals like Lincoln, into dramatic figures. Do you employ a different approach in humanizing characters for the stage as opposed to a screen medium? TK: Hamlet is a dramatic character, but there’s no reduction in Hamlet. I could think of a dozen film characters as rich as any human being could be. Lincoln is a genius on the level of Mozart or Shakespeare and it’s very difficult and possibly impossible for someone who isn’t a genius to come to any kind of understanding of how Lincoln did what he did. I think that it’s probably impossible for us to know those things. To try and create a dramatic device that is going to deliver the secret of Lincoln’s inner genius or the secret of how Mozart wrote the Requiem or how Shakespeare wrote Hamlet is kind of nonsense. You can’t do that. These are leaps of the human imagination that are so vast and so extraordinary, and rare, that they’re really in a certain sense immeasurable and incomprehensible. What we have is the consequence which is somewhat immeasurable and incomprehensible. There is no one who will ever say everything there is to say about Hamlet, it’s infinite as much as any human creation can be called infinite. I don’t feel that there is any necessary for dumbing down or reducing my ambition as a playwright because I am writing a screenplay. I feel that I can write characters that are just as rich onscreen as they are onstage. There are certain requirements that the forms have that are very different; language is different, the way you construct a character for a script that hopefully many different people will use or perform is different than when you’re writing a script for a director for one movie. So you have a sense that what you are doing is much more for a specific moment.

Tony Kushner, Jeanine Tesori at Court Theatre's CAROLINE OR CHANGE. MJR: Tell us about your process of developing a new work for stage production. TK: I don’t feel that I ever get inspired to do anything. Various impulses come at me during the course of a day just as they came at anybody. I read stories or I remember things that I’ve seen that seem of interest to me because I’m a playwright, that’s my job. I take note of those things and I write them down. If something that I’ve seen or been intrigued by sticks around, I’ll start to wonder if there is something in it that might become a play. If I feel clearer and clearer about why it’s interesting to me- whether it be a person, image, or event in history- I’ll start to keep a separate notebook about it and start to think of what could come as the basis of a play. You mull over five or six things at a time and for one reason or another one of them will the surface. MJR: Do you often find yourself become reclusive during this process? TK: I certainly try to . You should. It’s a good idea to do that. It’s always a mistake to not make that kind of time, but it’s one of the hard things about being a playwright. Part of our time is spent in rooms with a lot of people. Isolation is hard for everybody but for some people it’s easier. If you can’t handle isolation you certainly should not be a novelist or a poet. Playwrights I think in general have a tricky balancing act to do between providing material for the excitement and electricity and sexual heat of a rehearsal room-also the fun and terror of being in the theatre with an audience- and being alone in a room. When I’m really deep in the first draft of a play or screenplay I become slightly antisocial. It’s very hard to talk to people, to be out in the world. I think that everybody who writes experiences this to some extent. You have to kind of smooth your skin away and become available to becoming other people, so you lower boundaries and you remove skin and you make yourself slightly less well-organized than you are in everyday life. It’s hard to go out in public that way. I think it’s easier if you can get the play done in the first draft and then resume your public life; otherwise I think you feel sort of unpresentable and you probably are .  Read the full article

[tanyatakaishi]

Innocent Games: the rewrite

Without a world to save, petty drama and circumstances have forced a rift between the digidestined. That is until they find themselves in a world shaped solely by their memories, without their partners, where the only monsters to face are themselves. I’m doing it. I’m posting the rewrite. I put it on A03 and after a lot of thought I decided to delete all the old chapters on ff.net. I replaced them with the rewritten version and will be reposting the entire thing over the next few months. You can read it here. Or, you can read on tumblr below. I hope to gain some new readers and have some of my favorite peeps return. :)  Post 02, ignoring the epilogue, pretending tri don’t exist. Rated M for language, upcoming violence and sexual innuendo. Dub ‘cuz dub.

Innocent Games

I've seen worlds.

Before I knew that others existed, before I was torn from mine and forced to save another. Before the Digital World, I was sure they existed.

As a child, my mind teemed with magical places: a world where I could fly, another where I constantly wore a suit of armor (even in the tub) and got everywhere by riding a horse. In one, everything was blue. So blue that I couldn't tell the earth from the sky from the ocean from myself. But my favorite world was the one formed by fading memories: where my brother and I still shared a tiny room and I didn't do much but cry. I remember it in pieces: the legos spread across the floor, Matt's foot in my face when I snuck into his bed and turned in the night, the way we'd run to shut the door when our parents kissed, pretending like we hated it.

I sometimes wonder about the world Oikawa brought us to. If there were a way to get back there, if all those worlds could exist in a world like that.

I used to wonder if I was the only one who wondered.

Now that I'm here, I don't wonder at all.

....

Chapter One Black Hole

...

i need u

The words had been sitting mockingly on his phone for more than an hour, waiting for a response.  Matt frowned, finally left with nothing to do but answer. His college essay sat on his brother's desk, covered with comments in red pen (too poetic, too vague, this should be a semi-colon not a comma) all written in skewed pillars of scratchy scrawl. His eyes slipped sideways, across piles of books and crumpled paper to the disheveled bed. An arm slumped over TK's face, but his knees were pointing toward the ceiling and every now and then he had to readjust his feet to keep them there. Patamon had curled into a nest of blankets by his side, long furry ears masking his face. Matt turned back to his phone and hammered out a line with his fingers. Hanging with my brother tonight.

bring him with

Is your sister coming?

no excuses

Matt could think of a hundred. Nope

i thought blondes had more fun  ¬_¬

With a verbal groan, Matt's fingers found the bridge of his nose. Tai's name blurred across the screen of his mobile. He set the phone face down and fiddled with a box of cigarettes nestled in his pocket, fingertips dancing along the few that remained.

“Better leave them there,” TK mumbled into his mattress. “Mom's gonna flip when she finds out you're smoking.” He lifted his head and Patamon squirmed in his sleep. “Who are you texting?”

Matt pulled out a cigarette anyway, letting it linger against his lips. “Tai.”

“You're not going to light that in here...”

“I'm going outside.”

“Better brace yourself. An hour lecture. Minimum.” TK watched as Matt stood. “You didn't tell her about Sora yet, did you?”

The cigarette bent between Matt's teeth.

“Make that two hours,” said TK.

come on! Mimis back. i told her every1 would be there b a friend and act suprised

With a sigh, Matt closed the balcony door behind him. His phone went off again.

man up. u cant avoid Sora 4ever

I'm not Matt stopped typing and his thumb jabbed into the backspace button, erasing his words. He shoved the phone in his pocket and lit his cigarette.

…

your gonna come cuz im irresitable

Does your phone not have spell check?

its not smart

Sora bit back a smile and rolled her eyes.

“Are you sexting?”

Her whole face flushed. “Omigod, no. Mimi.”

Noodles flopped in front of Sora's nose when Mimi pointed a pair of chopsticks at her. “You look like you're playing coy. Is it Matt?” Mimi grinned and the yakisoba retreated, sliding behind her pink lips with a loud slurp.

“Playing coy?”

Mimi spoke with one cheek full. “Pretending you don't like the sexting.”

“I am not sexting.”

“You and Matt don't sext?”

Sora put her phone down. “No! What if someone read it?”

“Who doesn't enjoy some steamy literature once in a while?”

“My mother.”

“She doesn't like Matt?”

“She doesn't like sexting,” Sora hissed. She hid her face behind her hand when an old couple was seated in the booth beside them. “You did hear me when I said we broke up, right?”

“I'd rather live in denial.” Mimi pouted when Sora glared. “Whyyyy? You guys are so cute together.”

That was true, she guessed. Every picture of them was gorgeous. Matt was perpetually handsome, even when he was at his worst. Did he have a worst, really? His frown practically oozed sex. That definitely wasn't his worst: the brooding crease by his cheekbones and narrowed frosty gaze. His smile certainly wasn't. It was bright and charming, even when he was all awkward and embarrassed and his cheeks burst into rosy splotches.

Sora closed her eyes when her phone chimed with a new message. “I don't know,” she said. “Maybe that's why.”

“Because you guys are cute...?”

“Because we...” A piece of chicken was speared through by her chopstick. “Because we're perfect together.” Sora concentrated on wrapping a single noodle around it. She swore she could hear Mimi's jaw drop.

“Well, that's stupid.”

Sora looked up and found Mimi's mouth had puckered, like she tasted something sour. Her eyes narrowed and Sora's narrowed right back. “Thanks.”

“Explain.”

Sora groaned. “It feels like we're always trying too hard. We never fight.” She sighed when Mimi raised her brows. “I mean about us. Our relationship. Shouldn't we fight about us sometimes?”

“You broke up with Matt because you guys don't fight about your relationship?”

“You're making it sound stupid.”

“I'm just repeating what you said.”

Sora flicked a straw wrapper at her and it barely fluttered. “I tried once. To fight with him. About the band. I acted like I was jealous of it, even though I wasn't.” She laughed and Mimi took another big bite of yakisoba. “He just looked at me, you know, like he was trying to get me and then he asked if he should quit.”

“Seriously?”

“Dead serious. He wasn't even mad. He said it didn't matter. Like music didn't matter more than me.”

“That's really sweet.”

“It's not. It's uncomfortable.” Sora poked at her food and everything seemed to rush out of her in one breath. “I'm always uncomfortable. When its just us, I get... he makes me nervous – my stomach hurts, sometimes I can't even breathe.”

“Sounds like a crush.”

“It's exactly like a crush.” Sora frowned. “For four years.”

Mimi swallowed another bite of noodles and stared at her, hard. “You broke up with Matt because you've had a crush on him for four years.”

“I just want to be friends again. I want to sit in a room with him while he plays guitar and not feel like I have to sing his praises. I want to work on a sketch without him telling me how beautiful it is. I want him to forget our anniversary. I want him to do something wrong.” Sora's eyes sunk to her uneaten meal and found a notification on her phone.

“You want someone less perfect.”

Nodding, Sora checked her messages. “I guess.”

sora you dissapoint me. i left u the perfect opening and u blew it. so u coming 2 the party or what?

“Do you want to go to this party Tai's bugging me about?” Sora asked.

Mimi beamed. “Who do you think convinced him to go?”

….

emergency meeting

“I call bullshit,” Davis grumbled.

The pew pew pew of the arcade shooter quieted when Yolei stopped her relentless button mashing to raise a brow at him. It shot up like a question mark beneath her lenses, glaring with the countless lights of electronics. “What?”

Leaning against the side of an old pinball machine, Davis lifted his phone so she could see the text on his screen.

Ken took out another couple zombies before racking up his arcade gun. Davis huffed when Ken's name outranked his in the high scores.

Pushing hair behind his ear, Ken pulled his cell from his back pocket. “I have the same text.”

Yolei hung up the gun she'd still been holding and grinned devilishly when her name climbed to the top of the screen. She flipped open her phone. “He sent it to all of us.

“It's bullshit,” Davis spat. “Guaranteed. Mimi's in town, scheming. She probably stole his phone.”

“It does say emergency,” said Ken.

“Wait. No, Davis is right. I think he's bluffing.” She pulled a crumpled piece of paper from her purse and attempted to smooth it. “Apparently Tai's class is lacking in graphic designers. I think someone did this in Paint. God awful.”

She held up a flyer covered in ridiculously drawn confetti and written entirely in Comic Sans. “The seniors are throwing a graduation party.”

Ken looked at his phone again. “Why would Tai invite underclassmen?”

“Because it's Tai,” said Yolei. “He likes attention.”

Davis frowned. “He's going to beat me up.”

“Oh please, he messaged all of us.”

“I'm not going,” said Davis. Bullshit, he typed.

u got me emergency party

And then a second later, dont worry, im not gonna beat u up

Davis leaned forward, peering suspiciously around the corner to find a bunch of elementary kids gathered around the latest version of DDR. No Tai. He held up a finger when Yolei tried to talk to him. Thanks, he wrote. It took him a while to hammer out the next line. Kari gonna be there? I need to talk to her.

maybe not

“What is that supposed to mean?” asked Yolei.

Davis flinched and shrugged his shoulder into her chin, nudging her away. “Stop reading my texts.”

“You were about to show it to me anyway.”

True, but he wasn't about to admit it.  “Mind your own business.”

“Please, your business is everyone's business.”

“No it's not.” Davis looked to Ken for back up and was let down by a shrug. “Shut up.”

“I didn't say anything,” said Ken.

Davis huffed and showed Ken his phone. “What is this supposed to mean?”

“I think he's being purposefully elusive.”

“So that I come? Or I don't? Maybe he forgot to leave me out of the message.”

“I doubt that,” said Ken.

“He knows it takes two to tango,” said Yolei.

“There was no tango-ing,” Davis snapped, trying not to sound disappointed. “We had a moment.”

“With your tongues. While she was dating TK.”

Davis reached into his hair to fiddle with his goggles before he remembered they were missing. He could still picture them, nestled in Kari's hair. He crossed his arms. “I know, I know. I'm an asshole.”

“You just weren't thinking,” said Ken.  If it had come from someone else, Davis would've taken it as an insult, but Ken did this thing with his voice that was eerily soothing.

“Was that Kari's excuse?” Yolei's eyes went all squinty, the same way they did whenever she took off her glasses. Davis sorta wanted to steal them so she always looked that stupid.

“It was a moment,” he repeated.

She was already ignoring him, fingernails clicking against buttons as she hammered out her own texts at breakneck speed.

Davis pouted at Ken and returned to Tai's message. It must have taken him a good five minutes to write back, because Ken was already winning against the next round of computer zombies.  Tell her to come. I'll be good. You can even chaperone us.

His phone gave a pleasant chirp in return.

as if u had a choice

Davis started to respond when Yolei's voice squealed, “Oh! We're doing makeovers at Sora's!”

“We?” he asked.

“For the party. With Mimi. The girls,” Yolei said. Before Davis could open his mouth again, she looked up from her phone to glare at him. “Kari's not coming.”

He frowned. “Crap.”

Ken gave him a small smile. “Whack-a-mole?”

“How'd ya guess?”

…

emergency meeting

Green eyes scanned the words through thin metal bars. Ripping off his glove, Cody typed a quick reply. Where?

His fingers tapped impatiently on the end of a shinai while he waited for a response. “Sorry, sensei.”

Removing his helmet, Chikara Hida gave a wave of dismissal and kicked back a swig of prune juice. His white beard came back glistening around a smile, wrinkles kissing the corners of his cheeks. “How is the Digital World these days?”

“Peaceful.” Cody pulled off his own helmet and pushed strands of damp hair from his eyes. He looked over his shoulder to where Upamon was happily playing with his own mini shinai, his oversized ears swinging it around with strange precision. Cody's attention turned back to his phone and it felt suddenly heavy in his hand. “It's been a long time since we've had a meeting.”

“We haven't seen anyone since I've been back,” complained Upamon, suddenly dropping his weapon. He bounced across the dojo floor and flew into Cody's back, forcing him forward. “Are we having a meeting?”

“Sounds like it.” His phone chimed and he peered down at the new message.

Bullshit, it said. A tiny avatar bursting with burgundy hair appeared beside it. Davis was grinning behind his goggles and shooting up what he must have thought was some sort of American gang sign.

Cody squinted at his phone, watching as Tai and Davis messaged back and forth.

“Is everything all right?” his grandfather asked.

“False alarm,” Cody answered flatly. He gave Upamon's head an affectionate pat and typed out a quick message of his own.

Davis, you're in a group text.

His phone chimed again.

Fuck

…

Ba-ding.

Ba-ding. Ba-ding.

Ba-ding.

The phone slid under a pillow and a body slid under the sheets, further and further until it was just a ball at the foot of the bed. It gave a pitiful moan. “Please stop.”

A door creaked open. “You could turn it off.”

The lump shook, a pathetic vibrating that only ended when the smoothly tucked corners of the the comforter were yanked out from under the mattress, uncovering it.

Susumu Kamiya sat on the bed and gave his daughter's hair a rub. Chestnut strands stuck in every direction, clinging to the sheets.

Kari pulled the covers back over her head. “I messed everything up,” she moaned, wiping damp cheeks into her mattress. “Even Tai's mad at me.”

“He's not mad at you, honey. He's just brothering.” Susumu laughed, just a little snort of appreciation at his own humor. “You know, like mothering, but he's your broth—”

“Got it, Dad,” Kari moaned.

“Anyway, you didn't mess everything up. You're in high school, Kari. This isn't time for a serious relationship anyway.”

“You mean any relationship.”

“That's my girl.”

Ba-ding.

Susumu's hand reached and slipped under her pillow. He started scrolling through her messages.

Kari peeked from under the covers. “Dad!”

“You don't want to read that. Or that.” He stretched his arm away from her grabbing hand. “Protecting my daughter's virtue is my dadly duty. Please.”

Kari found her nose smushed under his palm. “Stop looking at my—”

“Definitely not that. Wow. I'm gonna have a talk with his mother about that language. Oh here.” Susumu released her face and handed her the phone. A row of texts had appeared, all accompanied by a grinning picture of Mimi Tachikawa, who (courtesy some good trick photography) seemed to be sporting Lady Liberty's crown.

“You should go have fun with the girls,” Susumu said. “Get out of the house.”

Kari looked up from her phone and frowned. “Stop fathering me.”

“Too late.” He patted her knee with a boyish grin. “Did that a long time ago.”

….

im here. ur mom made dinner. its delish

“Mmmmm, Mrs. Izumi,” Tai mumbled through a mouthful of dumplings, “dese are amadin'.” He grabbed another between his fingers and offered it to Joe, who sat awkwardly beside him, knees knocking into the Izumi's coffee table.

Joe peered over his glasses at the food, moist in Tai's palm. “Let's leave some for Izzy.”

Shrugging, Tai popped it in to join the others. The bedroom door opened.

“Iddy!” Tai swallowed. “Can I have your mom?”

Izzy's eyes, dark and lined with heavy shadows, flickered to the kitchen where his mother was putting together another plate. His attention turned back to Tai who seemed to be waiting for a serious answer. “No.”

“I have some fresh bok choy and garlic,” Mrs. Izumi said, carrying a tray into the living room. The smell preceded her and Tai's mouth started to water.

“Trade?”

Izzy ignored him and turned his attention to Joe. “I'm going to make an educated guess and conclude the emergency's a farce.”

“This is why I don't add you to group texts,” Tai grumbled. “You ruin all the fun.”

Mrs. Izumi set the bok choy on the table and Tai quickly snatched some up with his chopsticks, thanking her through a loud slurp. “Would you boys like anything to drink?” she asked.

“Could I take my dinner in my room?”

“Oh, well, of course, Izzy, but,” Mrs. Izumi seemed to hesitate, her hands wringing together, “don't you want to take a break?”

“I want to show them what I've been working on,” he said, rubbing a tired eye. “I'll go to bed after that.”

“No way, emergency meeting, Izzy.”

Izzy set his eyebrows until they looked like a big bushy V and Tai grimaced.

“Is everything all right?”

“Everything's fine, Mom. Don't worry.”

“Okay, I'll just put this all on a tray for you. Tai, Joe, are you staying for—”

“No,” Izzy said. “They have a party to go to.” He pulled open his door, motioning for them to step inside.

“Aw man,” Tai moaned, slumping into Izzy's office chair. His neck craned backwards, making it seem as if his large mop of hair was weighing him down. “Killjoy, that's what you are. I coulda boxed that up and taken it home for later. Do you know how hard it is to get a good meal at my house?”

Izzy pushed the chair so that it rolled away from his desk, Tai flopping with it. An array of screens were running in black and white, with code so tiny that Tai had squint his eyes to make out any of it.

“So what's got you too busy to make it to my graduation party? This is like a once in a lifetime opportunity, Izzy.”

“No one went to mine,” interjected Joe, stretching his legs as he sat on Izzy's bed. “Including me.”

“Wrong.” Tai snapped his fingers. “I went to yours.”

Izzy tapped a couple of lines into the screen, his dark eyes running back and forth to double check his work. He looked haggard. His red hair was long again, sticking out in every direction in greasy clumps. Tai was about to ask when he'd last thought to take a shower when he spoke up.

“I'm replicating the data that existed in the world MaloMyotismon brought Davis's team into.”

Tai sat up straight and used his feet to roll the chair forward. His eyes danced over the screens. “You mean Whoop-ass Wishing World?”

“That's what you named it?” Joe asked.

Tai gave a shrug. “Davis did. Made sense.”

“WWW.” Izzy's top lip curled with a hint of amusement, fingers still flying across the keys. “Because of it's connection to the Digital World, I've actually managed to extract a quantitative code that could potentially give us the power to create tangible spaces with the images in our brains: memories, dreams...”

Joe gave a heavy swallow. “You're kidding.”

“Not at all,” groaned a voice beside his rear.

Joe jumped, literally taking off across the room with a hand clutched over his breast when Tentomon appeared from under the covers.

“He's been working on it all night,” Tentomon moaned, green digital eyes flickering sleepily. “And all day. And the night before that and the night before that...”

“So what you're saying is”—Tai gave a big grin and rolled up, bumping the back of the chair into Izzy's legs—“he needs a break. A party perhaps?”

Izzy was already shaking his head. “I'm not going, Tai. Do you have any idea what a breakthrough like this could mean? We can dream up”—he started to look a bit manic— “endless possibilities. This could mean a world of unlimited resources... we can literally create an entire world of unlimited resources.”

“You must have weird dreams.”

“He has no time for dreams,” yawned Tentomon. “Never sleeps.”

“Izzy, Izzy, Izzy,” Tai tsked. He stood and threw an arm around his shoulders. “You gotta know when to quit. This isn't healthy, is it, Joe?”

Joe was already busy picking up an assortment of empty tea bottles from the floor. “I hope you're drinking water.”

Izzy lifted his shadow-rimmed eyes to Tai's, squinting. “Breakthrough.”

“Is this why you missed my soccer game Friday?” Tai pouted when Izzy gave a shrug. “You wound me.”

A knock disturbed them and Mrs. Izumi slowly opened the door with a tray of food in her arms. There was enough for all of them even though they weren't staying. “It's so nice to see you boys,” she said when Izzy quickly turned back to his screen. “It's been too long.”

Tai deflated. “College applications, ugh.”

In truth, they were only half the problem. It had been more than six months since he had attempted to get the group together.  The older they got, the more complicated everything seemed to get. School was a given, relationships were just, ugh, drama... heck, even soccer was crazy. A quarter of the team was stressing over college scouts. Tai was over it. He hated complicated – the stress, everything--it was easier to avoid it.

“Just wait until you're in college,” groaned Joe. “I don't even know why I'm here.”

“Easy.” Tai grinned. “Me.”

Mrs. Izumi smiled. “I can't believe how much you've all grown.” She set the tray down and the fingers on her hand twitched, just behind her son's red hair. It lowered suddenly when Izzy began to plug in another line of a code and Tai noticed the way her smile stretched when her eyes filled with tears.

Joe must have noticed too, because he started fumbling with his armful of empty bottles and excused himself, bolting out of the room to throw them into the recycling bin.

Izzy immediately stopped typing and turned to her. “I can't speak for Tai, but I'd deduce my growth has a lot to do with your incredible cooking.” He rubbed one tired eye and forced a grateful smile.

“Please speak for me,” Tai said, swiping yet another dumpling. He internally breathed a sigh of relief when Mrs. Izumi's face lit up, tears shining.

“I really appreciate it,” Izzy continued. Pink welled into his cheeks when she kept smiling. “Thanks, Mom.”

Her voice came out sweet and strangled. “You're welcome, sweetheart. You boys let me know if there is anything else I can get you.” The door closed after Tai caught her wiping her eyes.

He turned to Izzy. There was a brief moment unspoken between them, a concern Tai wasn't sure how to voice: What's going on? Why is your mom crying? Are you okay?

Izzy turned back to his screen and Tentomon buzzed into the side of his leg, a not so subtle nudge. He leaned down to grab a dumpling from his partner's outstretched claw.

“I'll call you when I've reached a stopping point,” Izzy said before taking a bite. His mouse clicked once, twice, and then he reached backwards without looking and rolled the office chair back in front of the desk. He took a seat and clicked again.

“Okay, I get it.” Tai shoveled a mound of food into his palm for the road. “You're on a roll. Breakthrough. Yeah, call me when you decide to be cool again.”

“A breakthrough that could theoretically save the world.”

“Meh. Already did that. Literally.” Tai put one last dumpling on his pile. “You make sure he gets a shower later, eh Tentomon?”

Izzy frowned while Tentomon gave an obedient salute.

Tai's fingers danced by his head in a weak imitation of Medusa's snakes. “Your hair, Izzy, geez. Shower! Water, food... life!” He tore into the dough with his teeth and spoke through a mouthful of pork. “You know Mimi's gonna be there, right?”

There was another light flush in Izzy's cheeks and Tai felt triumphant.

“Tell her I said hello,” Izzy mumbled before taking his own bite of food. “How long is she in town?”

“A week, I think.” Tai gave a shrug and headed for the door. “Life,” he hissed, backing out of the room. “La-iiife.” He could have sworn he saw Izzy start to laugh, just the slightest shake of his shoulders.

Joe almost ran into his back. “Where are you going?”

Tai popped another piece of food into his mouth. “To da pardy.”

“What, that's it? You aren't going to drag him out by the collar and call him a pansy?”

“Nope.”

Joe glared through his lenses. “Yet it's perfectly acceptable to do to me?”

“Can't do it to Izzy.” Tai slapped him between the shoulders of his collared shirt, hard. “He's got a backbone.”

…

The screen had gone blurry long before he finally quit. Izzy's face lowered onto the keyboard, crushing keys. Blank lines entered beneath the cursor until there was nothing left but black. It took a minute before he realized he'd fallen asleep.

Izzy peeled his sticky cheek from the back of his hand and robotically erased the lines until he was back to a screen full of code. He rubbed his eyes but the numbers wouldn't focus. Yawning, he saved his work and rolled his chair backwards.

“Shower,” he mumbled, still hearing Tai's voice chiming cheerfully in his ear.

It had been a long time since Tai had been by.

Maybe it just felt long. Time didn't pass normally when he was working. Obsessing, Tentomon would say worriedly from his usual position on his bed. The digimon spent the rest of his time in the kitchen with his mom, worrying. Izzy cast a look over his shoulder as he trudged tiredly to the hall, catching the digimon snoring beneath the covers. Guilt crawled into his belly and he slowly closed the door behind him.

Izzy tried to shake it off. It would be over soon. The program was complete. It was riddled with bugs, a million different glitches that he couldn't seem to figure out, but the essence was there. The power to create, just waiting for his fingertips.

Turning on the water seemed mundane, infinitesimal in comparison to everything he could be doing. Necessary only because he was, unfortunately, still very human.

Izzy stared at himself in the mirror, his red hair was greasy and wild from endless frustrated tugs and long enough that it looked a miniature version of Tai's gravity defying mane. He attempted to smooth it and it stuck to his scalp in kinky waves. He gave himself a small sniff and his nose crinkled with disgust.

Sighing, he stripped and stepped into the shower. Code danced across his closed eyes, burnt permanently into his retinas, while the screen in his room slowly ate it away.

Inside his computer, the numbers collapsed. Code slipped from all sides of the monitor, funneling to the center of the screen. The whole room flashed, a distortion of a pixels, just a glimpse into the world beyond. Then everything went silent.

Months of work lost and in its wake, a black hole, just waiting for something else to come close.

[darkjanet2]

I do not own Angel the Series and Digimon. This is my first fanfic to write my ideal. When I first read Yamato the Vampire Slayer by Empress of the Eclipse on Angelfire and Fanfic. I caught my attention and I was reading it so far. It was pretty good, yet it saddened me when TK dead. So I decided to write my own fanfic and make something better. So please enjoy yourselves.

Drusilla’s Soul : Chapter One

In 1860 in England at night, Angelus was walking down a street filled with people in regency clothing and horse-drawn carriages. He was about to pass the mouth of an alley when he stopped and turned down into it. He held out his hand, and a woman took it and let him help her up.

Angelus said, "I thought we were meeting in the Square."

"I ran into Lord Nichols - horrid little man,” said Darla. She looked over at a body with bite marks on his neck lying on the ground. “He was propositioning a streetwalker and dickering over the price - can you imagine? I told him I'd do him for nothing."

"You're very charitable," said Angelus.

Darla delicately dabbing at her mouth with a handkerchief. "I so loathe cheap royalty."

He leans in, half-kisses half-licks her mouth.

Angelus smirked, "They all taste the same to me."

Darla chuckled. "Mmmmmm, my boy does have the touch."

Angelus: "Darla."

Darla: "Yes?"

Angelus: "Why'd you kill the streetwalker?"

Next to the man lies a dead woman.

Darla: "Oh, I just liked her. Guess what's next?"

Darla and Angelus exited the alley and walked along the street.

Angelus asked, "What is it?"

Darla smiled, "Surprise. You have to guess."

Angelus scanned the street. Finally spotted a family with three young daughters coming out of a building.

Angelus smirked, "The three daughters. All virgins."

Darla smirked, "Close."

Angelus sensed a pure presence."The one in the middle has something delicate and unique… Did you find me a Saint?"

Darla smiled, "Better than that - she has the sight."

The girl in the middle turned. It was Drusilla. She looked straight into Angelus' eyes.

"Visions. She sees the future.” Angelus grinned, Darla clinging to his arm, started walking towards Drusilla. “She is pure innocence, yet she sees what's coming, she knows what I'm going to do to her. I'll really have to come up to snuff for this one."

Dru turned away from them and herds her sisters away. Darla puts a hand on Angelus’ chest to stop him from following further.

"Down boy, let the plum ripen," said Darla.

"You always come up with something new." grinned Angelus.

Darla chuckled, "Keeps me young."

“A woman who can see the future. I’ll make her work for me.” Angelus thought.

THE NEXT DAY AT THE CHURCH

Drusilla knelt down, blessed herself, and entered the confessional stall.

* "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned…”

Drusilla was slightly nervous.... but she needed to tell someone. Someone to reassure her. Hannah and little Anne could only do so much and even then she believed it was more out of kindness.

"It's been two days since my last Confession.." Silence. "Father?"

"That's not very long"

The voice sounds foreign... but at least an answer. Someone to forgive and reassure her.

"Oh, Father, I'm so afraid.." Her voice was shaking with fright. Why did she have to have this cursed sight? It's not bringing any good.

"The Lord is very forgiving. Tell me your sins."

"I had....." Drusilla took a deep breath. Still slightly fearful... "I've been seeing again, Father. Yesterday the men were going to work in the mine. I had...." She was shaking trying to keep the tears at bay "a terrible fright... My stomach all tied up.... and I saw this horrible.... crash. My Mummy said to keep my peace. It didn't mean anything. But this morning, they had a cave in... two men died.."

"Go on." The voice seemed intrigued.

"Me Mum says I'm cursed. My seeing things is an affront to the Lord. That only he's supposed to see things before it happens...." She couldn't keep the tears in any longer. Sobbing, Drusilla continued "But I don't mean to, Father, I swear! I swear!" Tears were streaming down her face, she just needed to hear it was okay. That's really all. That there was nothing wrong with her. That she wasn't evil. "I try to be pure in His sight. I don't want to be an evil thing."

" Oh hush child. The Lord has a plan for all creatures. Even a devil child like you." The voice tauntingly stated.

Drusilla was confused and slightly taken aback. Wasn't Father supposed to be... kind? Reassuring? Not reaffirming her worst fears of being an evil thing?

"A devil?" The word sounded absurd coming from her lips.

"Yes! You're a spawn of Satan. All the Hail Mary's in the world aren't going to help. The Lord will use you and smite you down. He's like that" the voice seemed to enjoy this. Almost like Drusilla was his chess piece, using her to make the perfect move.

"What can I do?"

"Fulfil his plan, child, be evil. Just give in." The taunting continued.

Tears started coming to her eyes. She... she can't be evil. She... she didn't really have any idea now. Protesting through her tears, she half yelled "No! I want to be good. I want to be pure!"

"We all do at first. The world doesn't work that way."

Maybe if she pleaded with him. Maybe some reassurance. A deal. Whatever to make her believe she wasn't evil.

"Father..... I beg you..... Please... Please, help me." Drusilla pleaded.

"Very well. Ten Our Fathers and an Act of Contrition. Does that sound good?" The voice responded back to her plea.

"Yes..." Drusilla exhaled in relief "Yes, Father. Thank you."

"The pleasure was mine. And my child...."

"Yes?"

"God is watching you.”

Later that night

With Angelus was at Druslla’s house with her family, he waited for Druslla as he had her family tied up to the chairs, he had tools out on the table.

She came in, he tied Druslla up made her watch he began with her father got pilers and ripped his nipples off of him.

Angelus then got a knife, cut him all over his body and used the knife, cut his arms off his tenders and bled to death.

Angelus went to her mother, smiled at her then ripped her clothes off, he rubbed his dick became 10 inches in length and he rammed into Drusilla’s mother.

She yelled out in pain, Drusilla watched in horror as her mind was slowly breaking, pain hit her mind as she was losing her sanity.

Angelus moaned in pleasure as he slid in and out of her mother like she was a common tramp on the street, both thire came rose.

An hour past and Angelus came over 14 times in her mother he then ripped Drusilla’s mother’s throat out, he untied the horrified and tainted the girl that had dark seeped into her body mind and soul.

She ran out the house looking for help found a nun who took her into the Sisters of Mercy, she told them what happened.

She cried, ”My family dead thaire all dead!” she yelled out in sorrow and fear, they took her to a small room with rock like walls .

“Here you go, miss.” said a nun with blue eyes and blonde hair, her name was sister Theresa. They gave Drusilla food water clothes to wear.

She put them on, ate her food, went to sleep. She had nightmares and was yelling, a red-headed nun ran in.”Shh, it’s ok,miss. You’re safe” name was sister Mary.

Drusilla woke up in cold sweat and tears. She was scared the vampire would find her, and Angelus walked to the church and touched the door. A barrier was around it.

He hissed then forced his way in breaking it, he entered the church looking for Drusilla.

He breaks through doors killing priests and nuns intel he find her room broke in and ripped sister Mary in half. Drusilla slid down to the wall, crying uncontrollably. She was terrified.

Angelus sitting on the edge of a table staring at something. Darla entered the room behind him.

Angelus without turning, "Hello love."

Darla wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "We made quite a mess out there. Blood and habits everywhere."

Angelus smirked, "Convents. They’re just a great big cookie jar."

They kiss.

Drusilla mumbled, "Black sky. It wants a little wormy me."

Angelus and Darla break apart and look over at a sobbing Dru.

Dru went insane. "No. No. Make it stop!"

Darla asked, "What is she doing here? I thought you killed her."

Angelus shook his head, "No. Just her family."

He pushed Darla down on the floor and rolls on top of her.

Dru scooting back towards the wall, "Eyes like arrows - like-like needles."

Angelus looked over at her, "This one's special. I have big plans for her."

He leaned down to kiss Darla.

Dru watching them, "Snake in the woodshed. Snake in the woodshed. Snake in the woodshed! Snake in the woodshed!"

Darla rolled them over so she's now on top.

"So are we going to kill her during, or after?" Darla asked.

Angelus sat up, startling her. "Neither. We turn her into one of us. Killing is so merciful at the end, isn't it? The pain has ended."

Darla was a bit complained. "But to make her one of us? She's a lunatic."

Angelus smirked, "Eternal torment,” grabbed a hold of Darla's arms and rolls them so he was back on top with her under him on the floor. ”Am I learning?"

Angelus started to kiss Darla while Dru first laughed then cried.