#the only word i can use to describe my drawings is “garbage”

[kuro-ayameart]

This blog is on hiatus. I could come back to post in a day, a month or never, I don't know.

Info: Asks and messages will be active and at some point I will make a post about a jjk zine I was in. That's all.

[kusakabesimp]

In Defense of Kusakabe - Ch 253 and Analysis

We respect Kusakabe Atsuya in this house.  I've seen a lot of back-and-forth on this chapter, and I need to defend my King. So, let's get into it!!  Author's note: I intended this as a short post, but now it's a 1600-word dissertation, and I'm not even sorry. >_>

The chapter opens with a flashback with the narrator asking jujutsu sorcerers who is the strongest Grade 1. I take everyone at their word here: Mei Mei has praised Kusakabe's skill on multiple occasions, Nanami is known for his strong situational awareness, and Gojo is always brutally honest. They say he's the strongest Grade 1; I believe them.

Kusakabe has a reputation for downplaying his skills. We know he's confident; we've seen him hype himself up during fights, but he's not the type to brag about it. It's worth noting that he uses the masculine and assertive pronoun "ore" when referring to himself, in contrast to Gojo's softer "boku" and Nanami's ultra-polite "watashi." He has the confidence, but he keeps it subtle.

(Also, it's unclear who Usami is, but Atsuya probably knows this sorcerer well since he doesn't use an honorific when he mentions them.)

So, why defend Kusakabe?

There's a lot we don't know about Kusakabe's abilities, and what we do see isn't fully explained.  

He blocks Kenjaku's Maximum Uzumaki using a technique from New Shadow Style; however, the technique itself isn't named, and its actual execution isn't shown. Uzumaki caused massive destruction, leaving a wide zone of wreckage and a crater on par with Hollow Purple. Kenjaku wasn't holding back, so blocking his attack would have required a huge amount of strength and cursed energy.

And speaking of Kenjaku, he goes so far as to compliment Kusakabe on his technical skill, saying, "It's nice to face someone with a little know-how." This is a rare moment of praise from someone who considers all sorcerers garbage. This alone speaks volumes.

Simple Domain and the fight with Sukuna: there is a lot to unpack here. Simple Domain has different rules and applications depending on who is casting it and who or what is affected by it. The primary purpose is to neutralize the one-hit effect of Domain Expansions, but Kusakabe isn't using it as a debuff for Malevolent Shrine. Instead, he uses it because he knows Sukuna's Cleave/Dismantle can work outside his DE as a standard Cursed Technique. Kusakabe's Simple Domain is designed to cancel or at least lessen the effects of cursed techniques, making this a perfect application in a hand-to-hand fight to minimize damage or protect an ally. Kusakabe later confirms that getting hit by Cleave or Dismantle at point-blank range is a guaranteed fatality. Yet he didn't die. Even with the protection of Simple Domain, there's something else in play beyond what we're seeing. And considering the versatility of Simple Domain, it's almost guaranteed that Kusakabe can use it in several other ways we don't know about.

Kenjutsu: I've heard people describe Kusakabe as a modern-day samurai, and that's an accurate comparison. Kusakabe is highly skilled in New Shadow Style sword techniques, the style itself based on an actual kenjutsu style known as Shinkage-ryū. So far, we've seen only one of these techniques, Battō. This is an iai sword drawing technique where the katana is coated with additional cursed energy, allowing it to be unsheathed and wielded with lightning-fast speed. I say 'additional' because Kusakabe's blade is always imbued with his energy, but this technique has an extra push. We see the beginning of another iai technique called Yūzuki (Evening Moon), but he's interrupted before he can draw. He seemed excited to use the technique, whatever it was. It's worth noting that both of these techniques parallel the Shinkage-ryū school emphasis on using low stances to protect the body while simultaneously using the legs to increase speed and power. The goal is to respond to a situation as quickly and efficiently as possible, the philosophy of 'the sword cuts only once.'  Killing or cutting with one strike takes extreme precision and skill. Given that he's a master of New Shadow Style, there are definitely other iai techniques we haven't seen yet.

We know he's incredibly fast. In Chapter 246, after Higuruma's Deadly Sentencing fails, Sukuna returns to using Cleave and Dismantle. Despite being on the opposite side of the battlefield, Kusakabe managed to shield Higuruma from the attack. He was already moving in that direction before Sukuna used his cursed technique, but it's still impressive that he outran the fastest attack in JJK while simultaneously expanding the radius of his Simple Domain to include Higuruma.  

Soul Exchange CT: In Chapter 222, Yuji and Kusakabe switch bodies/souls. The switch is confirmed both in the dojo and in an aside where Kusakabe expresses his enjoyment of being in a younger body; outside of that, we don't know anything about this technique. It never reappears in the manga, and Gege doesn't explain how it works. Like with Simple Domain, each sorcerer has their own specific rules for how the body and soul interact and how their cursed technique ties into one, the other, or both. It isn't clear if Yuji inherited this technique or learned it, but there's no doubt that he mastered it under Kusakabe's guidance. It's worth considering the possibility he may have even learned it from Kusakabe himself. Gege left this scene intentionally vague and confusing, along with the many times New Shadow Style techniques are described only as "forbidden for outsiders." There are too many unknowns to rule it out.    

Other things that work in Kusakabe's favor:

The man KNOWS sorcery. He has extensive knowledge of cursed techniques, domains, and the uses and effects of cursed energy. This was made abundantly clear in the Sukuna vs Gojo fight, where he helped explain what was going on (because, let's be honest, even we weren't sure what was happening). Kusakabe's working knowledge is invaluable, which is one of the reasons he's a great teacher. Gojo is also an exceptional teacher, but he's on another level altogether and doesn't know the more practical aspects of sorcery that Kusakabe excels in.   

He's an excellent tactician. He played a crucial role in pre-planning for the Sukuna fight, creating backup plans for the backup plans. When things went sideways after Gojo's battle, he stepped up, and the other sorcerers followed his lead. He's a valuable source of guidance on and off the battlefield, identifying an opening, hitting strategic cues, and re-directing resources to support allies. He's also demonstrated an exceptional ability to adapt plans and strategies on the fly.  

So that brings us to the last panel -- where he's staring down at The King of Curses, asking himself if he's willing to fight. A lot of people say no, he won't, and brand Kusakabe as a coward, but I don't follow that train of thought. There is no doubt that he will risk his own life for those he loves, and he has proven that time and time again.  

He frees Panda from the isolation cell, and though he claims it's a way to repay Yaga for helping his sister and nephew, it's evident from other moments in the series that he holds a deep affection for Panda that extends beyond mere obligation.

A man who refused to enter platform BF5 for fear of encountering a special-grade curse later jumps in front of a special-grade technique cast by a special-grade sorcerer to protect Miwa.  

On multiple occasions, he tells Higuruma that he will do everything in his power to protect him, even if it means giving up his own life. He doesn't hesitate to jump in when he sees Higuruma struggling to keep up with Sukuna in hand-to-hand combat, shielding him with Simple Domain. He also sends Yuji to support Higuruma when he cannot do so himself.

Everyone seems to be forgetting that Kusakabe chose to be there; he's already been fighting, and he's still there. He made it clear that only those with RCT, those who wanted to die or didn't mind dying, should be the only ones going to confront Sukuna. Some sorcerers didn't go, but Kusakabe did. When he isn't supporting others on the battlefield, he's leading the teams on the sidelines, adjusting strategies and coordinating the next round of attacks. He wants to be there; otherwise, he would have left long before things reached this point.

There is no way of knowing if Kusakabe will win; I've given up trying to figure out how Gege's mind works. But I know he will fight.  

Need further proof? Let's zoom in on that last panel.  

When drawing a katana, the sheath is positioned at an angle across the body, and the tsuba (handguard) is aligned with the center of the body. The sword is released from the sheath by pushing up on the tsuba with the non-draw hand and pulling it up and out with the draw hand. The index finger is relaxed until the sword reaches a point where it can be rotated for the cut.  

Even as Kusakabe thinks, "Is this really happening?" he's already decided to fight and is drawing his blade.

Whatever happens, we respect Kusakabe Atsuya in this house.

[dmarxbringit]

January 31st, 2025:

I find myself, weary and wavering, watching the news from all angles, witnessing the collapse of infrastructure in my country. My Country. What does that mean anymore? Every day I find myself wondering when the change happened, scrounging for a little hope; not hope for myself. I'm made of sterner stuff than that at this moment. Maybe hope for the people.

For the people to get Louder. The world sees us, sees our plight, our desperation, trying to give us hope. We see none of it. The Feed is cut up and covered up. We've been cut off from the rest of the world. We go to our normal spaces, where we can socialize but not organize, where our voices are sifted thru by AI, a garbage narc and killer of art and voice and word.

Now we must get creative with how we communicate, saying positive things while holding signs with intentions up to the camera, code words and creative self-exposure to our peers who must also do the same. We get split up, dispersed by what I can only describe as online narc-ery. Algorithms designed to pick our argument from a crowd and use it to ban us.

Because there's no guarantee we can implement change in the real world, either. We have to be careful because our microphones that we have on our phones are on consistently only because to receive calls and market to us and narc on us the mike needs to remain on.

We're not safe in the real world if we say something online because we could get doxxed for an online argument or disagreement. We could be targeted, which is why people have to make sure pilots in training aren't named after an accident involving a helicopter and a plane collided and it could lead to endangerment. And who are we forced to put our trust into but our own government who rolled back regulations and made all this possible.

And we worry about paying our bills, for food, and medications. We struggle to keep up with inflation even though inflation cannot exist while record corporate profits exist simultaneously. We cannot coexist with greed. While we're sick. While we're hungry. While we're cornered.

Our hospitals aren't blameless. Non-profit hospitals like the CHI Health System was bought by a For-profit company and now they help less and less.

Deny. Defend. Depose.

We see a system come down a few notches because a man named Luigi allegedly takes matters into his own hands. We don't want him to be convicted, but he's sensationalized and swept under the rug by a media corporation owned by the wretched rich, the obscenely wealthy owners of our news.

And Healthcare, what a joke, this very fake system we depend on, with politicians and newscasters telling us our country has the best doctors, the most dedicated nurses, amazing medical staff four years into Covid Era, where we've lost over a million people, probably a big percentage of them medical staff, leaving our hospitals understaffed and underpaid while getting no thanks from the government for putting their lives on the line.

And the bills when you survive make you wish you'd die instead, the ones that don't get approved by the "very real" insurance we pay thru the nose for because of faulty AI systems that are 91% failing but encouraging anyways.

We're tired. I almost welcome an invasion.

I just didn't expect it to be my own country.

Because the first country Hitler invaded was Germany. 57 days into his power and he placed himself into ultimate power for a very long time. Trump told us back in 2015 he kept a copy of Mein Kampf on his bedside table. He told us when he attacked immigrants and joined the Tea Party and invented the MAGA party and railed his hate, drawing out the worst in our families and neighbors.

And we dismissed him too early because we were just thinking he wasn't that serious. By our media, by our government, by our neighbors and families. We saw it but were told to be tolerant.

Well it's no longer time to be tolerant.

It's no longer necessary to be nice.

It's no longer okay to keep your voice down.

We're in the Find Out phase. I know I didn't vote for it, but I'm still forced to go thru it. But the civility is no longer necessary. Nor had it been earned.

We get the society we voted or didn't vote for.

It's Our society. And if they play their part right they will get to participate in the end.

We must make our own country, and stop expecting representatives to get us out of this mess.

Oh man, my NSA agent is going to put me on a watch list but here we go.

[abandoned-quiche]

Hey guys, can I ask for some constructive criticism? I made these images about my take on Mike, but for some reason I feel like they're... bad.

[Image ID: A series of images with drawings and text on a white background. All text is in the Undertale font, Determination Mono.

Image 1: Large text at the top reads "Mike" in all caps. It is light pink with a hot pink border. Underneath it is smaller text of the same color in parentheses, reading "that guy." A squiggly black arrow points from this text to a drawing on the left side of the image.

The drawing is of a skinny man with a giant afro wearing a bulky leather jacket, giving his frame a similar shape to that of a karaoke microphone. He has grey skin, with the afro being a darker gray and having lines along it resembling the weaving of the head of a microphone.

He has large, star-shaped, light pink sunglasses with a hot pink frame. His leather jacket has spikes on the shoulders, and underneath the jacket is a hot pink shirt with the word "Mike" on it.

He is wearing plain grey pants and sturdy black leather boots.

Next to him is a simplistic drawing of Kris, demonstrating that he is significantly taller than them.

Black text on the right of the image reads as follows:

He's a microphone. With a microphone afro.

Mike used to be a big time producer, radio host, and singer. He was a huge star in TV land - with such hits as "Trouble Dingle" and "The Pipis Blues", who couldn't love him?

Mike had a knack for learning things he wasn't supposed to. Maybe because he's a microphone, he picks up on things most wouldn't. Maybe he can connect with speakers and hear what comes out of them. Maybe people would speak secrets into him, not knowing he was listening. Maybe that vegan diet he did for a while gave him the ability to see the future

Whatever the case may be (probably the first one), this got him on Tenna's radar, and not in a good way. He had a tendency to pick up on nasty intel Tenna didn't want getting out there. With a massive target on his back, he suddenly disappeared, and nobody ever saw him again...

Image 2: On the left side of the image is a lineart drawing of mike, who looks as previously described, leaning back into a nonexistent chair and holding a telephone whose wire coils upwards into infinity.

Black text on the right of the image reads as follows:

He was Spamton's producer, too, but also a friend. He and Spamton would chat over the phone about conspiracies nobody else would listen to them about. Mike was the only one who knew about the mysterious entity helping Spamton.

Now, with the creation of a new dark fountain, Spamton won't be the only one Mike's contacting over the phone...

Now that Kris's home phone is in a dark world as well, attempting to call it no longer results in nothing but garbage noise. By using the cell phone, the secret boss quest of Chapter 3 is initiated as Mike guides you along the path to acquire the Shadow Mantle.

I don't know where the shadow mantle is yet

Image 3: Large black text at the top in all caps reads "Mike's hiding place."

Black text below it reads, "The reason nobody has ever found Mike? He's out of bounds. In a "Room between." Without some kind of hint, you wouldn't even know this place exists. The only other one who knows about it is Spamton. He now hosts a conspiracy radio show for likeminded individuals on a secret frequency only those "in the know" can know.

It's 66.6. (The words "It's 66.6" are in parentheses.) Other than that, he only communicates in-person in secret locations or via the phone, as those are the only things Tenna can't track. You meet up with mike here to get an item necessary for acquiring the Shadow Mantle. A key or something I dunno. Before you leave, he will tell you that he saw someone over to the right who wanted to see you."

Below this text is a drawing of Mike's Hideout. It is a circular room located within an empty black void with a pale yellow floor and a path leading downward, off the screen. In the center of the room there is an orange circular carpet with a pale yellow heart in the middle. A crude drawing of Mike sits at the northwest end of the room on a chair similar to Chairiel, giving a peace sign.

To his right, there are three TV screens in a disparity of sizes, aligned as if they were attached to a wall. Their frames are a pale brown and their screens display only static. Beneath them, there is a console of some kind, of the same pale brown, covered in buttons, knobs and levers.

To Mike's left, there is a deep brown table with a pot of golden flowers and a lamp on top of it.

Above Mike's left hand is a white telephone, its cord spiraling endlessly into the sky. To the right of this room, the tree from the egg room has been photoshopped into the black void.

/End ID.]

[stargatebarbie]

Getting to Know You Meme

Tagged by @spurious ����

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship? Yes! 7 years this November

02) What was your dream growing up? I wanted to be a psychologist for a long time but tbh glad I didn't end up doing that I am not suited to it

03) What talent do you wish you had? It'd be cool to have an idetic memory. Or even just like, a good one. My memory is shot lol

04) If someone bought you a drink what would it be? I could really use a proper coffee rn

05) Favorite vegetable? like good cherry tomatoes. the home grown kind. Or maybe potatoes

06) What was the last book you read? I'm currently reading Dungeon Meshi! I'm really enjoying the anime and decided to pick up the manga, just finished the first volume

07) What zodiac sign are you? Cancer 🦀

08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Yeah ears stretched a little, I think they're only 1cm & septum piercing. I haven't gotten around to getting any tattoos atp, shit's expensive, but I absolutely want them

09) Worst Habit? stealing all the cups and forks in the house

10) What is your favorite sport? not to be a stereotype but I don't really do sport. ig hockey?

11) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude? naturally pessimistic but i really try to like. practice optimism

12) Tell me one weird fact about you. one time I was locked in a bathroom with a goat

13) Do you have any pets? Yes! A cat named Moon :)

14) Do you think clowns are cute or scary? Scary for sure. I blame my mum she hung a clown puppet in my room as a baby

15) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? boy howdy would I love a breast reduction

16) What color eyes do you have? grey/blue

17) Ever been arrested? No but I have been detained for like. safety reasons oop

18) Bottle or can soda? Bottle i suppose? I don't really drink a lot of soft drink though

19) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it? probably fund my move out of state

20) What's your favorite place to hang out at? home tbh. or the beach when it's not too crowded or cold

21) Do you believe in ghosts? No, to almost a cartoonish degree. I saw a ghost as a child & I still don't believe in them

22) Favorite thing to do in your spare time? any of my 8 million art/crafts/creative hobbies (currently mostly crochet, tatting, & drawing) & binge watching tv

23) Do you swear a lot? Ohhhh yeah. not only am I Australian, I'm from mining country

24) Biggest pet peeve? People being willfully inconsiderate of others in public spaces. trolley parked across the isle, tiktoks with no headphones on the bus, talking on the phone at the cash register, that sort of garbage

25) In one word, how would you describe yourself? um. weird?

26) Do you believe/appreciate romance? Yeah but like. I suck at it lol

27) Favourite and least favourite food? fave: potato bake & least: sausages

28) Do you believe in God? Nope lifelong athiest

29) What makes you happy: hanging out with my cat, rotating the blorbos in the brain microwave, finishing a project (in theory), and uhhh I'm replaying totk with my gf right now that's pretty great

30) Currently listening/the last thing you listened to: listening to a country & folk playlist, folsom prison blues just came on shuffle

31) Favourite place to spend time: uh yeah home

32) Favourite lyric: truly i hate to choose favourites there are so many um. okay

I'll be the jester as long as you are my queen Make a fool out of me I wanna be the source of your laughter

33) Recommend a film: I almost never watch movies uhhh. I recently forced my gf to watch the Birdcage with me bc she'd never seen it, it's so good

34) Recommend a book: Peter Darling by Austin Chant my beloved. Also I'm reading Several People Are Typing by Calvin Kasulke rn and I'm really enjoying it if you work in an office and have slack or similar then I highly recommend especially

35) Recommend a band, a song, or album: Stick Season by Noah Kahan is just SUCH a good album

36) Recommend a TV show: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - great for lovers of musical theatre and/or the mentally ill 😌

37) Where are you from, and do you still live there? Where have you lived? I'm from Queensland and currently live in Tasmania. I've moved back and forth between QLD and TAS a few times, and plan on moving to Melbourne eventually

38) Do you have any pets or animals in your life? How did you find/get them? The aforementioned cat, I got him from a shelter & they got him from a dumpster <333

39) What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? during a drinking game I once took a shot that included; soy sauce, fish sauce, Worcestershire sauce, vodka, a warhead (sour lolly), fanta, and probably some other stuff I'm not sure I was very drunk and 18 year olds should not be unsupervised with that much alcohol bc they'll invent the world's worst drinking games

40) How did you 'find' fandom? A friend of mine sat me down in front of her family computer in their bible library (not a joke, whole library of bibles & Christian religious texts) & said hey. have you heard there are people on the internet who write stories about these two guys from this one series kissing? and I was immediately hooked lol

41) Make a list of 5 things that you see without getting up. work laptop (bc I am on the clock oops), personal PC, crochet project, calcifer plush, & my cat glaring at me from my computer tower bc I wouldn't let him sit on my keyboard

42) How do you style your hair? Well it was a mullet but it's super grown out now so it's more of a shag & I mostly just chuck it in a bun or something. I desperately want to shave it but it's so cold, idk maybe I'll just make a few beanies & buzz it anyway

If you want to join in please consider yourself tagged! 💖

[delta-lethonomia]

for the fic writer ask game! 4, 8 (for nettle wine!), 9, 20 (for wrong reasons!), 30

yesssss some good ones here! thank youuu

4. What are some words or phrases you feel like you overuse?

Oh god. So many. I feel like Tav's heart is always beating in some overused way, her hips tightening or loosening while heat pools in the basin within. Her cunt clenches all the time too. 🫠 I'm just writing what anxiety or arousal feel like to me alright it's hard coming up with more varied descriptions lol

I also always describe Astarion's eye color as "red, red eyes", but that's deliberate - I want them to seem somewhat hypnotic and otherworldly, while not being glowing or tacky - but I am painfully aware of it every time haha.

8. What is your favorite line/section from Stinging Nettle Wine?

!!!! Funnily enough it's the Dalyria interrogation scene haha. The dichotomy of Dalyria being interviewed while Astarion's busy getting off upstairs (and being loud about it) amuses me. She's so anxious yet prim and proper, but is also starved / isn't used to drinking fresh, "thinking" blood from a goblet that she immediately chugs too much, spilling it all over herself which makes Tav give her her first taste of her magic. I really enjoyed giving Dalyria the space to explain why she's there, and it's a bit like a therapy session for her: she's being as honest as she can be, and given the slightest encouragement basically trauma dumps all that's been bothering her for decades. The visual of her in a frilly Victorian shirt, drenched in blood and getting progressively more incoherent while Tav watches, stone-faced, legs crossed and arms folded and Astarion moaning his heart out upstairs is just *chef's kiss*. If I could draw I'd draw that scene lmao

9. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

So I've been reading fanfic since the LiveJournal days, I distinctly remember stumbling upon some dracoxharry explicit slash fic at age 10 hahaha. I had no idea what I was reading and developed some very weird preconceptions about anal sex, lol. Later I wrote like 10k of a naruto fic back when I was the same age as the cast, and I've got babies first smutfic floating around somewhere (hardcopy only, never uploaded, it was a Scarecrow/OFC oneshot taking place in Arkham Asylum haha! Cillian Murphy bewitched me heart and soul. It's very entertaining reading what virgin 15yr old me thought sex was like hahhahha)

I wrote some OG fantasy that never really went anywhere (20k) around that time too, but For All the Wrong Reasons is 100% my first "serious" writing venture that's ever gotten anywhere. I always wanted to be a writer as a kid. I've been "doing nanowrimo" since 2008 or so, read Stephen King's "On Writing" as a young teen etc but in hindsight it's very clear to me that all my creative endeavors stopped at the same time as some very significant traumatic events at age 15, and I only started writing or even considering making art again at 29, probably because I finally cut off my garbage family and had some space to rest and recover. I mention this because I'm finally starting to feel noticeably fucked up over my mom's death back in June and if experience has taught me anything it's that I apparently need to be in a good place mentally to write 🥲 I am holding onto this fixation as hard as I can, lol save me tavortheylinith you're more fucked up than me

Anyway, as for why bg3 in particular - I blame Astarion's sad wet cat eyes. Fucker. Reading fanfic has been my main hobby since forever but I'm so damn picky these days I rarely read anything not recommended by authors I trust. I just reached the point where I felt like I had to write the type of story I wanted to read.

20. Share your favorite kiss scene from For All the Wrong Reasons. If there's no kiss scene, share your favorite moment of intimacy (romantic or platonic)

Ooooooh! So I actually have a doc where I write notes about all the different sex scenes and how their dynamic is different in all of them 😅 as in, who's in love at this point, who's in charge, the results etc. Kisses are a different story though... hmm. I like the kiss after Tav gives Astarion a tadpole. It's a big moment for her, giving him a bit of power, and there's something very intimate about it that I like. I also really like the bit where they finally kiss after Tav's fuckup in Shar's temple. It's all about the build up - I remember being very frustrated with how much it took to get to a point where Astarion wouldn't kill her 😅

Her spine uncurled as she straightened, her lips tingling, her hips loose and spooled full of warmth as she slid onto her knees, her hot, wet mouth instantly cooled by the cold air as she pulled away from his neck. Astarion followed with her motion; they lingered, inches apart, mirrored by their hands and mouths, for his too was parted by quickened breaths. Her eyes flickered to his lips, soft and kissable, the faintest peak of his fangs barely visible. Up—and she’d caught him, for his eyes had been looking at her mouth, too, and her heart skipped—Astarion looked like a man besotted, flushed and open, like a man who wanted nothing more than to kiss her for all the world to see. Even in the pale morning light of the ruins of Reithwin, he looked luminous and bright, a face so handsome a wretched thing like her should not be allowed to touch. But Tav took what she wanted. But for him—she wanted to be worthy of it. Her voice didn’t want to work, but she made it, jarringly loud against the noise of their mingling breaths, magnetized by the way Astarion was tilting his head, the syrupy slow drift of his eyelids. “May I kiss you?” When he smiled, he did so with his eyes; faint lines crinkled at the corners. “Darling, you don’t have to ask,” he replied, “but thank you. I’m glad you did.”

But favorite sex scene has gotta be the Shar's temple one. I was less afraid of writing something that would upset the imaginary "oh no how could you be so mean to bby astarion"-fans in my head so Tav really pushes the boundaries on that one, and I'm looking forward to more intense bdsm debauchery in future 😇

(appreciate any thoughts on what would make Astarion safeword out btw! I think he'd try at this point but his tolerance level is too fucking high for my vanilla brain hahhahah)

30. Have you noticed your style change over time?

Absolutely! I'm getting too wordy hahahhahha for real though, I think my descriptions and flow have gotten a lot better. I skimmed the doc while I was looking for kiss scenes and saw the line "Astarion scoffed theatrically" and was immediately hit by an intense wave of cringe. God. I started editing the early chapters once upon a time but I just can't look at them anymore without cringing theatrically pulling this face

versus the later chapters, where if I accidentally read something it sucks me in and I emerge an hour later in mild disbelief I wrote that lol

[glitchsam]

Into The Pit - Breakdown and Analysis

Part 1

Main Character: Oswald - 5th grader

On his way to his last day of school before summer break

After ~the mill~ that employed the majority of the town closed down, people moved out and their local economy suffered, many stores closed down; less things to do = boring

Oswald's dad used to work in the mill, now he has no other option than to work part-time at the deli counter of the Snack Space; Oswald is embarrassed that his dad works there and would rather him not wear his work vest when dropping him off at school

Oswald's best friend, Ben, also moved out of town because his parents found new jobs elsewhere, Oswald has no other friends and is dreading summer break

Dad tells him, "when I was ten, I wasn't home in the summer until I got called in for supper. I rode my bike and played baseball and got into all kinds of trouble." (Foreshadow)

Oswald liked to draw and "got lost" in drawing like he "became part of the scene he was creating. It was a welcome escape." (Foreshadow)

Oswald didn't know why but he found himself drawing mechanical animals - bears, bunnies, and birds.. (Is he being influenced by something he isn't aware of? How?)

Dad suggested a summer plan for Oswald: go to the library then get lunch at Jeff's Pizza where his dad could pick him up so he wouldn't have to be home alone all break

Zendrelix vs Mechazendrelix- Movie Oswald watches, described as an "old Japanese monster movie." (Reference to Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla - 1974 - the two monsters face off as Godzilla attempts to defeat his mechanical imposter)(Foreshadow)

Oswald wished for something interesting to happen ...

Oswald has a conversation with his mom about new friends, that maybe a new friend would move into town, Os says why would anyone move here, she replies "you never know. Or maybe somebody cool already lives here. Somebody you don't even know yet." (Foreshadow)

Jeff's Pizza is described as weird with big empty space; cheap yellow paint attempting to cover up old mural- can still see some shapes underneath it; stage that never got used; ball pit in a a rectangular pen with yellow netting, roped off with a sign saying "do not enter"

Jeff - appeared to be the only person to work there; looked as if he hadn't slept in a week; dark hair sticking up; alarming bags under his bloodshot eyes; stained apron with new and old tomato sauce; looked "tired and miserable" even when being nice; looked 100 years old but was probably just thirty; slow speech and movements like a zombie pizza chef

After a few weeks of this routine, Oswald started getting tired of it

"Dad had to remind him that the Important Thing Was That They All Got to Spend Time Together." - this part of the sentence has each word capitalized.. why? (In contrast to the depictions of fatherhood in the games, wealthy men who could afford to do anything with their children but spent all of their time working instead and neglecting their families)

They watch a remake of an old sci-fi movie as a family- dad says it wasn't as good as the originals, "it was set in the same universe as the real version, but it was kind of a cheap knockoff of the one that came out when I was a kid." (Might be foreshadowing to how the bunny will be a knockoff of him or/and could also be commentary oh how these stories are happening in the same universe as the games)

When Oswald retorts that at least the SFX are better in the remake, dad says, "I'll take a puppet or model over CGI any day." (Foreshadow)

Oswald wakes up in a bad mood one day, lashes out at his dad for not being able to give him an exciting summer/ not having more money; says of his dad leaving him at the library every day, " everyday you toss me out on the street like garbage. If this is the best of things, I'd hate to see the worst!"

On that particular day Oswald decides he wants to pull a prank on his dad that forces him to come looking for him and make an effort- decides he's going to hide in the ball pit

Part 2

Oswald thought the pit looked disgusting but forced himself to go inside; the pit looked obviously untouched for years; some of the balls were sticky but he didn't wanna know why

the dust tickled his nose and he sneezed three times (there is a superstitious belief that sneezing three times means your wish is going to come true- Oswald wished for something exciting to happen)

When he arose from the ball pit he was suddenly somewhere new/ somewhere else; kids were yelling, electronics were beeping, flashing lights/ vivid colors;

says to himself, "Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore" (referencing the Wizard of Oz- Dorothy going from a boring black and white world to a colorful and lively one)

Recognized the games as ones his dad said were from his childhood

The animatronic band on stage were the animals he had been drawing...

Saw that before Jeff's Pizza, this was Freddy Fazbear's Pizza

He bumped into someone and felt it- which means he couldn't be in a dream, but it was as weird as one; the kid he bumped into was about his age and his name was Chip, he also introduced Oswald to his friend, Mike; They invited Oswald to hang out with them

While walking around the arcade with his new friends, Oswald noticed a person in a yellow rabbit suit standing around being creepy, but no one else noticed it so Oswald decided to ignore it too

He wasn't sure how long he'd been in the pit so he decided he needed to go back to Jeff's, he compared himself to "some kind of mixed-up guy Cinderella" (Cinderella is also experiencing an illusion that tricks others and that eventually runs out); When he came back up from the pit, he realized no time had passed (was it in his head? time in our heads moves differently)

The next day Oswald ditched the library and went straight for the ball pit; he went in, counted to 100 and arose to the place he had been to yesterday; while roaming he caught a glimpse of a calendar pinpointing the year to 1985; the yellow bunny is still standing around being creepy

Oswald and his new friends talk about things that they used to like as kids but are creepy now; Mike says he used to have a stuffed Freddy but now the animatronic band gives him the creeps; Chip said clowns; Mike says or dolls like the ones in his sisters room that he feels stare at him; (These things they find creepy also connect to circus baby's and the funtimes; In the games Mikes sister turns into a giant doll and his little brother walked around with a talking stuffed Freddy)

One day the guys are talking about movies they like; Chip said the Eternal Song (1938 Yiddish film based on the song A brivele der mamen - a song about a mother who's son is going away- their financial hardships and wishing the best for him); Mike likes Back to the Future (which coincidentally starts off in 1985, tries to get back home); Oswald panics and says E.T. (about an alien trying to get back home)

Oswald feels guilty that he doesn’t have his own tokens to play with and tells his friends he’ll sit that one out, his friends tell him that they don’t mind and want to play with him anyways, but when Oswald stands up, he suddenly feels tokens appear in his pockets (how did this occur- implies this is more than just Oswald traveling in time- he’s in a space where things can just happen, like magic)

Oswald asks his dad how old he was in 1985 and if he remembered Freddy’s ; he said he was a couple years older than Os is now and that yes, he remembers it but it closed down; dad seemed nervous and like he didn’t want to talk about it (Does he know what happened? How much does he know? Was he there?)

This time, as Oswald arose from the pit, he didn’t experience the sights and noises he had become accustomed to, there instead was chaos- screaming/ running/ despair/ yells for help; he was scared but curious and despite knowing whatever was happening was bad, he wanted to know what it was; he also convinced himself that he couldn't be in danger in a time before he existed (but could he be in danger in a memory?);

"in front of him stood the man in the yellow bunny costume... if it was a man under there." (there likely isn't, its prob an agony monster in the shape of springbonnie); Oswald followed him through a door labeled "private"; he let the bunny lead him like a terrifying version of alice in wonderland (also taking place in a dream-like world); They entered the party room- half a dozen kids propped up in sitting positions, none older than Oswald, all wearing party hats, all dead, Oswald knew the rabbit was responsible and wanted him to see his work and maybe be his next victim

After seeing the kids, Oswald screamed and ran out of the room, straight for the pit; the yellow rabbit lunged for him and followed; Oswald arose back at Jeff’s - his dad finally doing what Oswald wanted him to do when he pranked him; His dad pulled him out of the pit, and leaned over it to inspect how gross it was- this is when the bunny grabbed him and pulled him under; after a moment of both the bunny and Oswald's dad being under the pit, the bunny arose alone, no sight of his dad, and guided him toward the exit

Oswald expected Jeff to notice he wasn't with his dad but he didn't, the bunny got Oswald into his dads car and drove him home - somehow knowing how.

Part 3

"Somehow the bunny was standing right in front of him" - (moving impossibly fast- not human/ real?)

Jinx (Oswald's cat) hissed at the bunny- knowing it wasn't dad

Oswald texted his mom, letting her know something terrible has happened; when she finally came back home she didn't understand what Oswald was talking about, she couldn't see the bunny- she saw dad; Oswald was confused but wanted to trust his mom, Jinx didn't and refused to leave his spot under the bed

The bunny drove him to school the next morning, everyone else treated it as if it was dad, Oswald decided the only way to get through it was to play along

"the yellow seemed to think it was his father" (but did it? why is it doing this? what does it want?)

A girl sat with Oswald at recess, a girl with black curly hair and big brown eyes named Gabrielle holding a thick book of greek mythology that she reads when she needs to be brave, that day she needed to be brave because it was her first day of school (Gabriel of the MCI? CC? Described similarly and holds an item that helps her be brave); Oswald realizes he needs to be brave too

Once home Oswald did his chores and tried to act like everything was normal, the bunny was doing chores too; later the bunny led him to the kitchen, he had prepared lunch for Oswald- pizza and punch. (the bunny is also trying to act like everything is normal)

First Oswald thought it was a guy in a suit, then that it could be a highly sophisticated animatronic animal, then maybe a real flesh and blood giant bunny.... (which was it? What was he?)

Oswald waited till night to sneak out and he ran towards Jeffs Pizza to look for his dad, he went straight into the pit- Inside he felt a body, he had found him; He was unconscious and while trying to help him up, the bunny appeared and tried to grab Oswald- Oswald fought back (did the bunny travel there or did he just appear?)

"it unhinged its jaws to reveal double rows of fangs as sharp as scimitars." "Mouth open freakishly wide." "Its jaws wide open, like a snake" (Double row of sharp teeth like the nightmare animatronics? Is this a nightmare?) (scimitar= sword with a curved blade, mainly used in the past)

Eventually the bunny got itself tied up in the ropes and was hung, he couldn't get himself free, looked as if he was grasping for air, he struggled for a moment and then went still, Oswald blinked and hanging was only an empty bunny suit (where did he go? was he real? like in the wizard of oz when the witch dies in the beginning, she disappears leaving behind only her socks and shoes)

Oswald's dad awoke and couldn't remember what had happened, he could see the costume hanging too; Jeff was just there cleaning (had he not heard anything? Did he know what was happening? Was he in on it?)

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

#have mixed feelings bc think a lot of ppl are just letting off steam/not in convos where solidarity building is even possible#but overall yeah

Right but I'm not making this post to tone police people on what they say on their tumblr blogs I'm making this post to be very real about organizing. I have been interacting with a new friend group recently and its me, another person who's terminally online in the same way I am, a person who's raised by academics so they can easily slide into the marxist jargon and "all white people are racist" type takes that me and this other person speak in, and a self identified centrist who is a roblox and tiktok enjoying 18 year old. we know each other because we all do night club entertainment, and this kid is more established in this profession than the rest of us.

Anyway the point is that talking to this friend, who I want to say for our purposes is non white and grew up much poorer than I did, has low key shaken me when it comes to realizing that growing up on tumblr and reading marx and lenin as a 9th grader, and being raised by linguistics professors, has made me completely incapable of interacting with the average person in a way that makes me just... so bad at organizing. This whole website might as well be a psyop for the numbers its done on me being able to relate to people who I could theoretically win over if I was better at talking to people. This person has been a huge wakeup call. Like fuck me here I am talking to a relatively reasonable black lesbian who grew up in poverty and I cannot break through to them on economic or political issues, not because they're unreachable but because I'm so bogged down in jargon and tumblr hot takes that we the same words to mean completely different things and the way I phrase my opinions or react to certain things make them not want to talk politics with me.

so like, I'm going through my own political playbook and realizing quite a bit of it is completely alienating to people who I should be trying to win over. I cant even win over someone who runs in exclusively queer and mixed circles, because they were raised with what I can only describe as normal american politics. That should be low hanging fruit but here I am trying to talk about the means of production and I'm drawing a blank.

So anyway back to the point of the post. This sort of berating people for being too privileged is one of the things I'm becoming clear eyed about. like it's not a point of contention for me and this specific person or anything but you know, like, it's in the same family of online leftist habits that make us completely unaproachable. I don't engage with it very often but I do shut my mouth because part of me is like "well yeah that person is privilaged and it probably feels bad to hear someone complain about for the less privilaged." but then I actually get in a real life situation and I'm like wait I could win this person over if I just knew how. It's not about handing them a copy of Das Capital, it's not about beraiting them for being privilaged until they feel bad and take up a monk like oath to never step out of line or discuss their own suffering, it's about acknowledging what's wrong and pointing them in the right direction, and that goes for every single person not just those that are more privilaged than you complaining, even though that's what this post is about.

And online is like real life in many ways, If you come onto a person's post and make a snippy comment, you've alienated a potential ally, because theres someone on the other end of that keyboard.

tl;dr: This is just one of many post's I'm gonna be making or have made where I discuss the pitfalls of my own ability to talk to people and tumblrs general tendancy to treat people who could be won over like hot garbage. It's not about tone policing or venting it's about how I see a lot of you alienating potential allies because you're more invested in being leftier than thou, which is a tendancy I also see in myself.

I'm glad yall like this post just clarifying because I know deep in my soul that this post already has been screencapped and had the wavy filter put over it by someone who will go on to make at least on person who could have been down for the cause turn away from us by being completely unpleasant, and who does nothing for leftist organizing but is completely devoted to infighting on tumblr . gov

Saying that a certain group of people is too privileged to complain about the way that things are is its own sort of defense of the status quo

[huntedbobo]

You guys, I have to admit something. I don't actually like Knack. It's just become this running gag, you know, with the original joke being the Playstation 4 launch. Pretty much all these games were also on PS3 and just as playable, except for Knack. A game so technologically advanced, it would annihilate the PS3's puny hardware limitations. "I wanna talk about the development of Knack, and why, why this game had to be developed next-generation?" "Fuck!". The game is a fucking disaster. It's a 3D Platformer with de-emphasized jumping. "So Crash Bandicoot, for example, we'd layout levels and there would be fifty jumps in a row you had to make or you couldn't get through the level and that's clearly not something that everything can do so...". "Yeah, we have platforming, but we've de-emphasized jumps within that context". Do you know what that means? That means when Knack walks over to a gap, it turns into a cutscene of him jumping over it. Welcome to the game Knack. Even this guy whose sole job it is to promote the game and make it sound good is lost for words when asked to describe what's special about Knack. "Certainly, um... I think it's, you know... When some people say that, you know... is it necessarily","So you'll see, and honestly yeah, tha- yeah. I mean, that-that... and I... I... I...","And, uhh... people on the demo... you know some people to use...". He is such a garbage mascot. You look at Mario and Sonic, their design is so simple and iconic, that even if a four year old drew 'em. You would know who they are. Knack, on the other hand, is 2,000 little rocks that sort of shape into some fucking weirdo troll. Good luck drawing that shit, kid! The gameplay consists of walking into an empty area, hitting a guy, and then walking into another empty area and doing it again and again until the game is over. There's even a part where they make fun of Knack for only having two moves. "It's hard to believe you saved the world.","All you know are three punches and a kick!", "He can jump, too!". This game is a joke, and apparently Sony was not in on the joke. Knack 2, on the other hand... IS A MASTAPIECE!!! Ohhh! Look at the graphics! LOOK AT THE GRAPHICS ON THAT THING!!!! "Knack is back." You can play as Ice Knack! ICE KNACK, ladies and gentlemen! "Ice is nice." It's like the gameplay of Knack, but with the storyline of Transformers! "Is Knack 2...","Um... Um... I","Yeah so...". Knack has to fight the High Goblin, okay? So he can make a robot to fight a laser! OKAY?!?! "Ummm... I'm just, uhh...","Really curious, though, about, um...","Like umm... But, like.","Knack 2..." Knack even has a NEW MOVE! Dynamic Combat!! Couch Co-op!! Family Fun!! Huh, interesting. Doesn't look like Bayonetta has family fun. Probably because this woman is a fucking whore! Look at how good I am at Knack 2. That's how you know it's good gameplay. "You got this Knack!","Show us how it's done!"."Good job, Knack!!! Keep it going!"."That's it!","Keep going!","You almost got it!","So strong.","That's Knack for ya." I give Knack my first ever ten out of five and that's just for the graphics alone, okay? Don't even get me started on the storyline!

[percontaion-points]

Gate Crashers chapters 3 & 4

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Click here for the rest of the series!

Chapter 3

It wasn’t that different from your average junior prom, only their names had letters before or after them, usually ending in D. 

���Doctor” only starts with a D. Sorry not sorry for pointing this out. 

—“and we’re going to push until we find the edge.” 

Allison really put some Tabasco sauce on the last word…

When you’re an author, you can write literally anything. The fictional world is your oyster! SO WHY ARE YOU ACTIVELY CHOOSING TO WRITE GARBAGE LIKE THIS?!

Allison took the offered gift and read the title aloud: “First Contact for Dummies: The Complete Idiot’s Guide to the Most Important Moment in History.” Allison choked on a giggle and let out a little cough instead. 

[...]

 “It was my mum’s, ma’am. She was with SETI. She bought it as an antique and always kept it near her desk, just in case.”

I simply want the author to know that “For Dummies” books are already quickly reaching into the point of being considered antiques in 2024. 

Allison shook her head. “I thought I knew what was coming before my preflight physical. I was wrong then, too.”

Chapter 3 summary: Allison gives her crew a pep-talk about the weird alien thing. It’s described as being as large as a bus, with alien “runes” all over it. In what I’m quickly learning is this book’s signature move… It takes way too long to get to this singular point. 

As the crew breaks apart to go do other things, a woman named Jackie approaches Allison and gives her “First Contact for Dummies”. Except I’m not quite sure what a joke book from the early 00’s could possibly have to offer. But Allison is touched at the thought that Jackie would offer up a “family heirloom”. 

Then the book starts to talk about how much time that they’ve spent in the cryo-pods, to the point where their friends and family back on earth have lived their lives and died, meanwhile the crew themselves has only aged a few weeks since they left earth. 

Times laughed this chapter: zero

Total laughs this series: zero

Chapter 4

Directly ahead, and growing ominously in his field of vision, was the Unicycle, a circular particle accelerator five thousand kilometers in circumference. It was built in orbit at the L1 Lagrange point, one of the points in space where the game of tug-of-war between sun and Earth played to a draw. The sunward side was a ring of solar panels five kilometers across, powering the station and providing shade to keep the superconducting electromagnetic coils at a crisp and efficient three degrees above zero. Not the balmy zero on Earth, where thermometers are given a minus range so Northerners can puff out their chests about how tough the winters are. The real, absolute zero, which doesn’t have negatives because there’s nowhere else to go.

[Image description: Jack O’Neil from Stargate: SG1. He is played by Richard Dean Anderson, a middle-aged white man with greying hair. He is wearing a military uniform, and sitting behind a desk; there is an American flag on a pole behind him. There are three text messages over the image: “I ain’t reading all that”, “I’m happy for you though”, and “Or sorry that happened”. End description.]

“Penny for your thoughts?” Director Lemieux asked, taking position next to him. 

“I’m sorry. A what?” Felix could hardly be blamed for this naïveté. The penny had been dropped from U.S. currency more than two centuries ago. But they kept turning up. 

To be fair, think about how old the phrase “Two birds, one stone” is. It predates the invention of not only gunpowder, but also older projectiles like arrows. They are literally using a stone to kill birds in this phrase. 

The director hit Send, smiled to herself, and turned off the machine.

Chapter 4 summary: The narration introduces us to some dude named Felix. He is also travelling via a spaceship, in order to solve some problem or another. What problem, might you ask? I have no fucking idea. This chapter had nine pages in it, but most of this was incoherent “scifi babble”. That is to say that while a lot of things were said, that a lot of dialogue happened… I found most of it to be confusing. I ended up skipping the last two pages, since nothing of value was actually fucking happening. 

I’m fully expecting for all of these subplots to come together by the end, but who fucking knows. 

Times laughed this chapter: zero

Total laughs this series: zero

[anjukurada-fanfic-rec-blog]

@thecommonmold I know I'm not Neil, but I would like to add to this if you would allow me.

I was always creative when I was a child. Always daydreaming, being lost in my mind and the worlds I would create, but I never really knew how to write in a "good" way. I actaully started writing when I was 14, starting out with self-insert fan fictions for my favorite anime. My best friend and I would even collab with these stories, passing notebooks back and forth and learning to work WITH another individual and their ideas and the direction of the stories. For about 3 years, all we did was self-insert fan fictions until we felt comfortable enough to write something original. I would read her stories, she would read mine, or we would collab and build worlds. We developed our writing skills through practice, through observing other writers, through critiques from other friends or online strangers. We thought we were AMAZING writers at the age of 17!

But every time we looked back at the stories from when we were kids, they were really bad! We laughed at how horrible we were at writing, and how we thought we were so great. BUT (and this is very important) we were able to look back at these stories and see where we came from, and how much we have progressed! Look at people who have learned to draw. Maybe someone who makes AMAZING art. Look at where they started, and where they are now. They could have looked back at their old artwork, they could have gotten discouraged, they could have stopped and never picked up a sketch book again. But they didn't. They learned from their mistakes, they looked at their old artwork as Progress instead of garbage.

I know how hard it is to get started with something. I overthink so badly, and I feel like I need to be perfect or it's not worth it. I'm 32 and still suffer with those thoughts. BUT you can't make progress without practice. Here are a couple bit of advice and practices you could use:

Do NOT write for perfection. You will get so caught up in the details that you will be stuck and you won't end up writing anything at all. Your own mind can be your worst enemy sometimes... Write for the joy of writing, regardless of mistakes! You can always go back and fix it up later!

Do not get discouraged by your old work. It is going to be bad! And going forward, some of your future works are going to seem bad in a few years. They are PRACTICE! They are PROGRESS! Cherish your bad works and learn from them. They are not garbage, they are learning experiences.

Don't only write things that are meant to be a part of a bigger story. Write things JUST for practice. To get out of your comfort zone, to give you a different view.

FOR EXAMPLE:

Take a notebook to a park. Fine a spot where you are comfortable, sit down, and describe what you see. The sights, the sounds. What the birds are doing, what the plants sound like in the wind. What the sun feels like on your skin, what the other people around you are doing. Emerse yourself in your "scene". You can do this anywhere as well. In a mall, on a bus, in a classroom, on a bench in the middle of a city. This helps with building believable descriptions and helps with emersing readers into the scene that you are setting.

Once you are comfortable with doing this, add a character to the scene! Describe what they feel while walking through the park, the city, the school hallways. Learn how to describe what your characters are feeling and observing.

Find writing promts online, and write short drabbles revolving around those prompts. Get out of your comfort zone and just write "pointless" stories! There are plenty of books and sites that have writing prompts that you could use. Some are simple things where you are given a list of words that you need to use in your story ("Use Lobsters, green, wind, robot, and dice at some point in your story") and you would have to build a story using those things, or you could use prompts that tell you how a scene opens and you finish the scene.

The most important thing is to keep writing. Not everything needs to have a meaning, not everything needs to be perfect and publishable. You need to practice somehow! I developed ALOT of my writing skills with role playing! You can find role playing sites to join and practice that way as well!

Don't be too hard on yourself. You are still young, you are still learning. You will NEVER stop learning and getting better. You just need to put pen to paper and write SOMETHING even if it's just a jumble of words!

Hello Neil,i know you have 120k asks, so you will never see this, but genuinely, how do i start writing? I know it probably sounds silly to you, but I am 15 and already feel behind. I want to be a writer, I have loved reading ever since I read Coraline at 9 and have always wanted to do something creative with my life and to be an author just feels so fitting for me,I just don't know how to do it I guess. I keep trying but it always turns out bad,I don't even know where to beigin and how to pace the story or do anything really.I write short fanfics sometimes and when i go back to read them they are just objectively bad. I know what I do and dont like in stories,I just can't seem to accomplish what I want when I try to write it. And I do have so many ideas, but it never goes anywhere, and I can't put the words on the page. I know improving takes time but I just wish I had some guidance on how to improve(English is my third language so I probably made mistakes, I apologize )

You sound a lot l would have done at the age of 15, had I been articulate enough for anything like that. At the age of 15 or I knew was that I really wanted to be a writer and that I wanted to write and draw comics one day. I had some ideas that would turn out to be good ideas 15 years later or 25 years later but at that time they were just ideas and I didn't know how to make them into stories.

The most important thing you can do is to keep writing. The second most important thing you can do is to live and learn and experience the world and accumulate a store of things that you have to say and things that you need to write about.

[destinymanticor]

Tag 9 People You Want to get to Know Better

(^・ω・^ ) Thank you for tag me 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

@avomorg @bumblebeeenby

Currently reading:

Well, according to fics, only on AO3 26 pages of subscriptions... ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

But I can mention from AO3 "Fractures"

From Ficbook (!rus), I can only note "Truth is a cave" by chiwich

Oh, if I’m rereading book with infernal detectives (1991) (!rus), which fell into my hands back in 2012-13

I don't really remember the events where I got it from. I just remember that I picked it up on street, for some reason a "garbage bin" pops up in my head, but it definitely doesn't seem to be from it, right (⓿_⓿)???

Favorite color:

if roughly specified, they will be dark green, silver, ~terracotta, and purple

Its hard for me to describe in words, so I'll attach ~approximate pic for colors

i like all colors

except for bright red shades, especially when there is a lot of it or if it is an accent color..... like

that's why I usually not use bright red in the arts, even when draw Kai -- I dim red a bit

oh what is there? ah eah

Last song

well I'm hooked now on (╯▽╰ )

"Dear Wormwood" -- this is pretty related to the end arc for one of my OC now ahah

"You're the Only Thing in Your Way" -- this one for one of those AUs "that I probably donno how write"

"Lemon Demon - Modify" -- its just fun music + funny animation 🔪🔪🔪

Last movie:

Does the Lego Ninjago Movie count? when I watched it for screenshots? I just don't remember the last time I sat down and watched it just for the sake of a movie.

"Ирония судьбы, или С лёгким паром!" in new year i don't count

Sweet/spicy/savory:

I really like sweet, milk chocolate, jelly and various caramels. I also really like sweet and sour things, especially if they cause a reaction like in cartoons, but in reality. But there are few of them, so lemons and kiwis will help me (○｀ 3′○)

I love spicy, of course, jalapeno, chili, and other spicy peppers

not against wasabi and horseradish (although for me they mostly differ in the burn duration and resting speed)

savory doesn’t evoke special feelings, like okay, not insipid and okay ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Currently working on:

A small animation like "into the game". I have the first part sketch-animatic, but it seems to me that with the second part I put too much information for timing

some pictures for 14 february

and a small picture with butterfly 🍋

(ʘ ͜ʖ ʘ) wow how many txt

Tagging:

!!! (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ @sunnylighter @sebilini @quiznak-ofgrayskull @howuart @peachyninjago @pixanefan @emisnt2 @tokaywineandcheese @kdragon107

✨✨✨

sorry if you had something like that, I have a worse memory than a goldfish, and the attentiveness like stone ༼ ◕_◕ ༽

[ddarker-dreams]

Phantom Troupe / Thoughts on HWR Reader.

Note: i wanted to do something similar to the voice lines genshin characters have about one another but with some phantom troupe members ... maybe i’ll do a collect of HWR reader’s thoughts on each of them?? she’d definitely have a paragraph about hisoka. reader is described with she/her pronouns here !

Chrollo

To put my thoughts about [First] into words, where would I begin...? The way she carries herself demands attention. She tends to draw attention wherever she goes. Ah, no, this is of no issue to me. What good is possessing a jewel if it’s not on display for others to both admire and envy? While her looks are undeniably an appeal, it’s her brain I enjoy the most. I thought our viewpoints mostly would align due to our similar occupation, yet there’s a great deal we disagree on. Hours can escape us once we get started on a particular topic. 

Phinks

You’re asking me about [First]? Ahem, well, she’s fine. Can hold her own. Kinda reminds me of the characters in those old timey movies who talk all properly ‘n shit. It’s cute... that is to say, in a professional capacity, naturally. Strictly professional. Ah, but if you ever need to learn how to do some weird rich people garbage, she’s the one to ask. Y’know, the different types of spoons and forks.  

Feitan

Cuts too clean. Ends fight too fast. No fun. Torturing people, though... not bad. 

Machi

Didn’t know what a rich girl wanted with the Spider at the first, but if the boss picked her, he must have his reasons. Paku took to her quickly, so by extension I... yeah. She’s alright. 

Shalnark

While you can count on her in a fight, in a casual environment, she’s surprisingly dense. We keep a tally of how many times Phinks has mustered the courage to ask her out only for her to not realize it, let me check... aha! It’s up to four. Hoping to hit five before the year ends. Franklin owes me a favor if we reach it. Also, the go-to pick for trivia night. She doesn’t know what a hotdog is but can explain the theory of relativity or recall the year a ruler from so and so in the year whatever ascended to power. Guaranteed win. 

Pakunoda

A very well mannered individual. My initial impression stopped there for some time. For her first job with the Spiders, the boss paired her up with me. In retrospect, I suppose he foresaw something I did not. We formed a mutual bond and have frequently stayed in touch sense. How do I say this... she’s endearing, in a sense. Once you know her tells, it’s quite easy to get a read on her. 

Shizuku

I finally remembered her name. What else? Uh... it’s fun to watch her fight. I wish they’d last longer. By the time she starts to really put in effort, the opponent is dead... I want to see more. 

Uvogin

A bit of a stick-in-the-mud, if you ask me. The most I’d ever seen her drink was when she lost a bet and had to take a sip of beer. The face she made... you’d think she’d been stabbed in the gut. Refuses to eat fast food too. Something about it ‘impacting the release of glucose in the blood system,’ or whatever. Can rip flesh and bones to smithereens, though. Guess that’s all that matters. 

Nobunaga

An oddball, that one’s fighting style is. I can never figure it out. Rather than using one style with a sword, she switches between multiple... must be a nightmare for anyone she’s seriously up against. Her movements almost looks weightless. Seriously, what do they teach overseas? Maybe I’ll take a pilgrimage to her home country and give it a shot myself. 

Franklin

[First] didn’t speak much for the longest time. At first, I wondered if she felt superior to us due to her background. I didn’t care for her until she proved joining the Spider’s was more than a whim. 

Hisoka

Ah, yes, what a lovely specimen that one is ♥ the way she glares at me yet tries to act professional excites me. I wonder what it would take to set her off. More importantly, though... killing her would ensure Chrollo’s wrath. He’d have no qualms fighting me then. 

Bonolenov

The both of us are enthusiasts when it comes to dance. I taught her some of the staples from the Gyudondond Tribe, while she trained me in the styles popular in her homeland. While watching her fight, I noticed her movements were similar to what she’s taught me. In that regard, I suppose we’re similar; we both incorporate dance during combat. 

Kortopi 

... Boss likes her. 

[writer-ish]

The 3rd Annual Bloom Edenbrook Fundraising Gala

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x f!MC (Dr. Brooke Spiers) Word Count: 2.9k Rating: Mostly T (innuendo, language, smooches)

Premise: Dr. Brooke Spiers and Dr. Ethan Ramsey get coerced into answering anonymous questions submitted by generous donors at this year's hospital fundraising gala. They have about as much fun with it as you'd expect.

This idea is all thanks to THIS ASK from the lovely @lem-20. The concept and all questions are hers! Thank you, darling Leah! ♥️

Author’s Note: My first time with a mixed-media type post(!!!) and the writing part has been done almost script-style, similar to the "Not Yet Wed" questions courtesy of @jamespotterthefirst, which you can find HERE. Hope you all enjoy. 🥰

Tickets

Bonus Raffle

SETTING - Diagnostics Office - 5:15 PM

TWO DOCTORS in formal attire sit across from one another. The male, DR. ETHAN RAMSEY, late-30s, devastatingly handsome, leans against a desk, arms crossed. The female, DR. BROOKE SPIERS, late-20s, charmingly attractive, sits on a larger table further away, legs swinging.

Ethan: I can't believe you talked me into this.

Brooke: [smirking] Why does this feel like deja vu?

Ethan: You know exactly why. You coerced me into the same sort of nonsense in your intern year for that magazine—whatever it was.

Brooke: Yeah, and remember how much publicity the hospital got that year? You're welcome.

Ethan: How can you be sure our "publicity" had to do with that article and not the fact that a first-year intern stole from a large pharamceutical company to administer an unapproved drug to—

Brooke: [hands up] Okay, okay, we get it. Regardless, you have to admit I was responsible for all the publicity. [grins]

Ethan: [can't help but grin back] Touche. [sighs deeply] Let's go home.

Brooke: Can't, babe. We're the main event.

Ethan: How did this even come about? Is there not some code of ethics against this sort of thing?

Brooke: [laughs] It's just staff and donors. All adults. We're showing that we're good sports and it's for a good cause.

Ethan: [grumbles] I don't know why people care so much about us.

Brooke: You don't? I mean, have you seen us?

Ethan: [dryly] And so humble, too.

Brooke: Lord knows you aren't with me for my humility.

Ethan: Indeed. [picks up a glass from the desk at his side, swirling the amber liquid] Well, I hope you're prepared.

Brooke: [amused] Prepared?

Ethan: You're used to me being reticent in situations like this and holding back? [downs the liquid in one shot] Not today.

Brooke: [wary] What does that mean?

DR. RAMSEY stands up, crossing the room towards DR. SPIERS until the latter is forced to open her legs to accommodate his presence. He braces a hand on either side of her, leaning forward until their lips are almost touching. Her face flushes. He notices, and a slow, lazy smile spreads.

Ethan: It means [kisses her slightly open mouth softly] I'm answering all their questions.

Brooke: [giggles nervously] All of them? But what if—

Ethan: [punctuating each word with a kiss] All. Of. Them.

He leans forward and captures her mouth in a deep, searing kiss. Her arms twine around his neck and she lets out a soft moan. Drawing her ankles around his legs she pulls him even closer and he places one hand on the desk as the other glides up her back. They stay like that, interlocked for a moment, before he pulls away.

Brooke: [eyes still closed] Hmph.

Ethan: Let's go get this over with.

Brooke: [slowly opens eyes and peers at him, disgruntled] What kinds of questions do you think people are submitting?

Ethan: Like you said, Dr. Spiers... [a slow smile spreads] Have you seen us?

DR. SPIERS laughs as she follows DR. RAMSEY out.

A.N. PLEASE do not look too closely at this very badly photoshopped pic 😂

SETTING - Bloom Edenbrook Hospital, Main Atrium - 6:25 PM

Our two doctors sit beside each other on a makeshift stage. A semi-recognizable third-year resident is the host for the evening. DR. RAMSEY dusts an imaginary piece of lint off his sleeve. DR. SPIERS has her hands in lap, knee shaking slightly. Noticing, Dr. Ramsey reaches over and rests his hand on her leg. She looks over with a small smile and places her hand over his.

Thank you to our very own Chief of Medicine, Dr. Ethan Ramsey, and his partner, head of the Diagnostics Team, Dr. Brooke Spiers, for being here with us today for a good cause. Dr. Ramsey and Dr. Spiers, are you prepared to answer some questions provided by our generous, anonymous donors?

Brooke: Sure, why not.

Ethan: [through gritted teeth] For a good cause.

Alright, excellent. I will be drawing these questions at random. Thank you to all who donated for the opportunity to submit a question.

Dr. Ramsey and Dr. Spiers, you will both be posed a question. If you choose to answer, you must both answer. If you choose not to, you must match the donation made by the donor, in lieu of a verbal response. Are you ready to begin?

Ethan: Mmm.

Brooke: [nervous laugh] I suppose.

Alright, here we go!

First question: If he/she could take one thing to a desert island what would it be?

Brooke: Me.

[Audience whoops and laughs]

Ethan: [can't hide his smirk, before clearing his throat] Brooke would take her phone. Heaven forbid she can't post about something on Pictagram.

Brooke: It's true. I'm sorry for being such a young millennial needy for external validation.

What are your nicknames for each other?

Brooke and Ethan: [look at each other. Brooke laughs.]

Ethan: Just say it.

Brooke: I mean, it's nothing too embarassing. I call him babe usually, or baby sometimes if I'm feeling extra nice. He calls me—[blushes and looks over at Ethan]

Ethan: [sighs] 'My love'. I call her 'my love'.

[Audience "awwww"s]

Who’s the better cook?

Brooke: Oh, Ethan. A hundred percent.

Ethan: It's true.

Brooke: I'm abysmal.

Ethan: Normally I would demur when it comes to Dr. Spiers' perceived faults, but in this case she's correct.

Brooke: Thanks, babe.

Ethan: You have many wonderful qualities that don't involve ovens, my love.

[A squeal from the audience that sounds suspiciously like Sienna]

Who has the last word in an argument?

[simultaneously] Brooke: Ethan Ethan: Brooke

[They look at each other]

Brooke: [laughs incredulously] Seriously?

Ethan: You think I don't hear you muttering to yourself after you walk away, almost every single time?

Brooke: Oh, so cursing your name and your very existence counts as the last word and not you shouting [affects deep voice] "And that's final!"? Duly noted.

Ethan: I don't sound like that or say that.

Brooke: Mm, sure.

Who is best at keeping secrets?

Brooke: Uh, neither of us?

Ethan: I had a secret once and it was hell keeping it.

Brooke: You've had a couple.

Ethan: True. I'm done with secrets.

Brooke: In lighter news, we kept [gestures between the two of them] this thing a secret for a bit. No?

Ethan: [opens his mouth to agree, when he's interrupted by a shout from the audience—]

Audience member that sounds suspiciously like Elijah: Nope! We all knew!

[Audience loudly murmurs in agreement]

Brooke: Never mind, then.

Who wears the trousers in the relationship?

Ethan: Neither of us subscribes to antiquated beliefs of superiority in a relationship. We're partners and teammates and work together accordingly. Sometimes she helps and guides me and sometimes I do the same for her. There is no one person who holds higher ground over the other and to imply otherwise would be foolish.

Brooke: [literal heart eyes at Ethan] What he said. [stage whisper] Except it's me.

[Audience laughs as Ethan rolls his eyes]

What is his/her worst habit?

Brooke: Workaholic, poor communication skills, yells first and asks questions later… I could go on.

Ethan: Charming. I have two words for you: messy packrat.

Brooke: Excuse me?

Ethan: If I had a nickel for every useless piece of garbage you kept "just in case" or for each article of clothing on the floor of my bedr—[clears throat] Just trust me.

Brooke: [smirks and whispers against Ethan's ear so only he can hear] Sorry, who is responsible for my clothes on the floor…?

Ethan: [says nothing but smirks as well]

[Audience murmurs in scandal]

What three words would you use to describe them?

Brooke: Hmm. Let me think.

Ethan: Passionate, caring, intelligent.

Brooke: [looks at him fondly] You came up with those fast.

Ethan: [matter-of-factly] I could give them ten more easily.

[Audience "awww"s]

Brooke: [to the audience] No, no, no don't be fooled, he doesn't mean only the flattering words, trust me.

Ethan: I believe it's your turn.

Brooke: Dedicated, compassionate, brilliant.

Ethan: [smiles softly at Brooke, who avoids his gaze. He reaches over and squeezes her hand.]

Brooke: [mutters] Yeah, yeah.

What celebrity do you/they think they most look like?

[Both Ethan and Brooke look at the announcer quizzically.]

Brooke: Celebrity? Uhh…

Ethan: I don't even know how I would begin to answer this question.

Brooke: Ryan Reynolds?

[Audience laughs and loudly disagrees]

Ethan: Who?

Brooke: [laughs and shakes her head] I don't know! I just named a random hot guy. You name a redhead actress. Jessica Chastain?

Ethan: [confused] Do you mean Jessica Rabbit?

Brooke: No I don't mean— [looks at him incredulously] Are you saying you think I look like Jessica Rabbit?

Ethan: No, I thought that's what you were saying and I was about to tell you how incorrect you were. Er, that is to say—

Brooke: I feel like you're digging yourself into a hole here.

Ethan: Agreed.

Who is the most vain?

Ethan: Both of us have more pressing concerns than our physical appearance.

Brooke: Ethan.

Ethan: [splutters]

Brooke: If you're going based off who spends more time on their hair in the bathroom? Ethan.

Ethan: [crosses his arms and glowers, but doesn't disagree]

What is his/her guilty pleasure?

Brooke: Ethan's is cooking shows, particularly Nigella.

Ethan: It's true. Brooke's is high calorie indulgences like—what's the freezer cake you made me buy the other day? With no identifiable or even passably edible ingredients?

Brooke: Ooh, Deep 'n Delicious. So good.

Ethan: [rolls eyes] Yes, because we all need our daily dose of hydrogenated oils and preservatives.

If they had a free pass, which celebrity would they choose to sleep with?

[Look at each other blankly]

Brooke: Uhh… Nigella?

Ethan: This Ryan Reynolds fellow?

Brooke: [laughs] I don't even like him!

Ethan: So who, then?

Brooke: [crosses her arms] I notice you didn't deny Nigella.

Ethan: This question is stupid. Next question.

Where and when did you go on your first date?

Brooke: Derry Roasters

Ethan: What? No. I took you to Sorellina—

Brooke: What, three years after we first met? No. Our first date was Derry Roasters when you caught me following you that time.

Ethan: Ah, so she finally admits it. I thought at the time I was… what was it, "paranoid"?

Brooke: [laughs only a touch guiltily] Did I say that?

Ethan: So you're treating the first time you trailed after me to the local coffee shop as our first date?

Brooke: Well, you paid.

Ethan: Yeah, after you "forgot" your wallet.

Brooke: What, you thought I pursued you for your good looks? No, sir. I like a man with deep pockets. Plus, you know how I know it was a first date?

Ethan: Please, enlighten me.

Brooke: You ordered for me and I didn't get annoyed and it was horrible, but I still drank the whole thing.

Ethan: The espresso Romano is not horr—

Brooke: Horrible. Coffee and lemon? [shudders] That's how I knew I was into you.

Ethan: [intrigued] Really? Way back then?

Brooke: [nods, blushing slightly, and rolls her eyes] Oh brother, don't act so shocked. You knew.

[Audience laughs and whoops]

Ethan: [shell-shocked face showing he absolutely did not know]

Where was your first kiss?

Brooke: [sheepishly] Miami.

[Audience murmurs in surprise]

Ethan: [sighs] Yes.

Brooke: Is that—are Harper and Naveen exchanging money?

Naveen: [from the audience] Dr. Emery should know better than to question my instincts!

Ethan: [loudly groans] Next question.

Who is the loudest in bed?

Brooke: [yelps and, remembering Ethan's earlier warning, throws her hand over his mouth]

Ethan: [from behind her hand] You probably could have made the answer less obvious.

Brooke: [blushes and groans]

[Audience roars its approval]

Which of your friends do you think he/she is most likely to have a crush on?

Brooke: Ohhh, this is awkward.

Ethan: My friends?

Brooke: Considering we can list your friends on one hand…and some of them intersect with mine. [bites lip] What do we do with this one?

Ethan: [to the host] What did the donor pay?

Sorry?

Ethan: To submit this question. How much?

Oh, uhh—[checks] $200.

Ethan: I'll write you a cheque for $200. Next question.

Brooke: [shakes her head laughing] All the questions, huh?

Ethan: At my discretion, yes.

Bryce: [from the audience] You know the answer was me for both of you, anyway!

Ethan: [scoffs] Fat chance, Lahela.

Brooke: [pointedly silent, staring straight ahead]

Ohh-kay. Next question. Who had feelings first?

Brooke: Ha, me. For sure.

Ethan: Are you sure?

Brooke: [looks at him incredulously] I just told you I liked you even after you bought me lemon coffee at Derry Roasters three years ago. [sits up to look at him more fully] No chance you liked me earlier than that. I mean, like-liked me.

Ethan: "Like-liked you"? Are we twelve?

Brooke: You know what I mean. You were such a grouch and I was just your annoying intern.

Ethan: [irritatedly] The annoying intern I kissed in Miami, what, a week later? Is that how obvious my lack of feelings for you were?

Brooke: [opens her mouth to respond and then closes it again]

Ethan: That's what I thought.

Who’s more dramatic?

Brooke: Ethan.

Ethan: I am absolutely not—

Brooke: See? Honestly, he's exhausting.

Ethan: [glowers]

Who has the weirdest orgasm face?

Brooke: Weirdest?

Ethan: Oh for the love of—

$5000 to not answer this one, doctors.

Brooke and Ethan: [jaws drop simultaneously]

Brooke: Someone paid five-thousand dollars—

Ethan: What kind of a pervert—? Fine, say it's me.

Brooke: It's really not.

Ethan: [quietly] Well, it's certainly not you.

Brooke: Yeah, but—

I believe we have our answer!

Ethan: We'll take it. Next!

What are you most likely to argue about?

Ethan: Brooke believes I could be more communicative about my feelings, especially when I have a problem.

Brooke: You do listen!

Ethan: Of course. We also argue about when she's going to move in with me.

[Audience gasps and murmurs in gleeful scandal]

Brooke: [jaw drops] Ethan!

Ethan: It's true. [turns to host] I believe it should have already happened. She believes she needs to maintain a tenuous hold on a bedroom she rarely occupies for a group of roommates who would be happy for her to move on.

Brooke: [fuming] Of all the high-handed—

Jackie, from the audience: He's right, girl, bigger and better awaits.

Brooke: [through gritted teeth, as Sienna, Ethan, and Aurora all nod and give her thumbs up] Maybe this is something we can talk about later—

Ethan: Whatever you say, my love.

Brooke: Oh, yeah, now with the "my love"s—

On that note! Here is our final question.

What’s the most romantic thing they’ve done for you?

Ethan: [looks at Brooke, who is still glowering] Most romantic?

Brooke: [glares]

Ethan: With Brooke, it's the little things. She'll notice when I'm having a bad day and bring me my favourite donut. Or a well-timed hand on my shoulder or knee when she can see I'm getting riled up.

Brooke: [glare softens a bit]

Ethan: She's thoughtful and kind and extremely empathetic. She knows what I need even before I know that I need it. It's not—candlelit dinners or what have you, but I've already prided myself on being a practical person and this intersection of—of practicality and care? That's what I find… [struggles to get the word out] romantic.

[Audience "awww"s]

Brooke: [screws up her mouth before leaning over to kiss Ethan on the cheek] Okay, that was sweet. [Thoughtfully] Most romantic thing Ethan has done for me? Well… [side-eyes him, before continuing] The HAZMAT suit sleepover last year was probably up there.

Ethan: [uncomfortable] I don't want that to be classified as—

Brooke: You were there for me at a time when I needed you most. If that's not romance, I don't know what is.

Ethan: [increasingly agitated] That's not romance, dammit, that's—that was a necessity. That was vital. I needed to be there. I needed to make sure you—that you—[cuts himself off, clenching his jaw]

Brooke: [eyes soft as she looks at him. Reaching out she rests her hand on top of his clenched fist until it unfurls slowly underneath hers and he releases his breath slowly] See? [softly] Romance.

Ethan: [sighs deeply, then links his fingers with hers and gruffly kisses the top of her hand] All this tells me is that I've neglected you on the "romance" side of things.

Brooke: [still smiling softly] No complaints. [looks out at the audience] Are we done here? [affects a deep voice] Are you not entertained?

Ethan: [fondly] And she says I'm the dramatic one.

I think we got what we needed, doctors. Thank you for helping out for a good cause. This raffle ticket session alone raised a total of $23,000 for Bloom Edenbook Hospital!

Ethan: [dumbfounded] That is insane.

Brooke: I promise we aren't that interesting.

The people beg to differ. Round of applause for Dr. Brooke Spiers and Dr. Ethan Ramsey for being such good sports. Until next time, doctors!

Ethan: [over thunderous applause] There absolutely won't be a next time.

Brooke: [laughs and stands up, smoothing out her dress]

Audience member that sounds suspiciously like Jackie: Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

Rest of the audience chimes in: Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

Brooke: [crosses her arms, smirking at Ethan]

Ethan: Oh for the love of— [acts like he's walking away, then loops an arm around her waist and pulls her close, tilting her back and kissing her thoroughly]

[Audience roars its approval]

Ethan: [pulls away slowly and sets her upright, chucking her chin with an affectionate and slightly devilish smirk. He starts to guide her away from the host and off the makeshift stage]

Brooke: [mutters, still a bit dazedly] Told you. Drama.

[Laughing, they walk off stage together.]

[asirensrage]

Find the Word Tag Game

I was tagged by @residentdormouse.

This should be interesting... lol. Let's see if I can find things that aren't already shared.

My words: hushed, cried, screamed, laughed, shuddered

Hushed (so apparently I rarely use this word...this is from At The End of Everything which was a SPN fic that was left open to be a Dean x OC one... - written back in like 2010)

Ace was leading the way out when we heard something behind us. I turned quickly to see a couple of people covered in blood. Ace hushed Mary and they spotted us. "Fuck!" We ran for the entrance as they ran after us. I stopped and turned, letting Ace lead Mary out. There were three of them. I aimed and shot, sending one of them flying back. I turned and jumped through the broken glass front. Ace had stopped in front of the car. I turned and aimed at the two that were coming through the store. I heard two shots and they both went down. They didn't come from next to me though where Ace stood.

Cried - Tammy Thompson Takes on the Upside Down

“Shit!” Dustin cried out again. “Go!” He led us through a side door and we ran down an empty hall. It felt like ages but he finally stopped. “Come on,” he strode out casually and we all tried to follow. I recognized the movie theatre instantly. We went into the first theatre we saw. I was hungry but Steve actually stopped at the garbage, grabbing popcorn out of it.  “Ew,” I grabbed onto Erica instead.

Screamed - This is from an abandoned LOTR wip lol

"You are certain?" "Yes." "Then send her." It hurt. Unable to describe it in words, she screamed.  "Where is she?! Where is my sister?!" "We don't know. She was gone in the morning. She must have left in the night." "She wouldn't leave! Not without letting us know." "She was not here." "We could shield her from the pain." "She needs to go through this to understand."

Laughed - (not me writing out the scene I tried to draw yesterday...)

I don’t know how I did it. I’m scared of heights, if I’m honest, so I’m not sure how I ended up behind its head, legs over its shoulders and my feet crossed under its neck to make sure I didn’t fall off. All I knew was that I needed to stop it. I wasn’t going to let it eat her.  I had one hand under its jaw, trying to keep it closed, while the other was on the side of its head, helping me keep balanced. It just laughed at me.  “You can’t…kill me…” “Run!” I shouted at her as she stared at me in shock. “Get out of here!” “I’m going to eat you–” “No you’re not,” I ground out, pulling back as hard as I could in order to keep it from reaching her.  It sounded like a rip, like the crack that ice makes when you step on it. The thing’s laughter stopped suddenly and I kept pulling, hoping maybe I was giving her some time to get away. I almost fell backwards when the pressure suddenly released.

Shuddered - Another abandoned WIP. This one for From Dusk to Dawn

“How the hell are we supposed to know who we’re looking for?” Seth grumbled, passing around the drinks after paying the bartender.  “It’s her,” Richie said. He motioned at the stage. “She’s the one.” “How the fuck do you know?” Seth snapped. Kate sipped at the coke and listened. The woman was staring at the three of them as she sang.  “They used to be just like me and you They used to be sweet little boys But something went horribly askew Now killing is their only joy” “Well that’s creepy,” she heard Seth mutter. Kate shuddered, an eerie sense of déjà vu upon her as she stared at the stage.

this entire search just made me realize I need to work on my descriptions lol

Your words: tremble, blood, little, asking, cracks

soft tagging: @chickensarentcheap @ninjasawakenedmystar @stanshollaand @starcrossedjedis @nadja-antipaxos @reyofluke-ocs and anyone else who wants to join

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

You've probably been asked this question before, but...how do you deal with self-doubt/impostor syndrome as a creator? I'm no artist, but I channel my creative energy into being a writer, and I have a ton of ideas that I want to explore in my writing, but I fear that if I don't utilize those ideas to their absolute fullest, I'd be letting down hundreds of people who like to read my work. Do you have any advice? I'd love to hear it. P.S. I love your WD!Steven comic.

OH! Ha, yes, imposter syndrome. Let’s... let’s talk about that. 

For those that don’t know, imposter syndrome is the phenomenon many creative people go through where they doubt their own abilities. Especially if a creator has gotten a lot of attention for their work, they begin to succumb to the pressure of being “good enough” to have “deserved” their audience. 

To put it simply, you feel like you’re an imposter that has somehow fooled people into believing they’re in for a ‘good’ story, and you will inevitably disappoint everyone when they figure out you’re not as ‘awesome’ or as ‘talented’ as they’ve been led to believe. 

It is self-doubt in its purest form, it is the fear of doing well and the fear of doing poorly all rolled into one bitter, stress-inducing onigiri. 

Let’s discuss self-doubt. I’m going to describe 3 things specifically to keep in mind for this. 

1) The Horizon Goalpost

You may have already read this in my other post about unrealistic goals. 

Basically this boils down to: Don’t set unrealistic goals. 

Utilizing Your Ideas To The Fullest is a wholly unrealistic goal to have, to be honest. No single idea can ever be ‘fully’ utilized because the concept will be different for everyone. Everyone will have a different idea of what the perfect, plot will look like. People literally argue about how shows ‘should’ have ended all day and all night. 

Saying ‘I need to write this story perfectly otherwise it’s garbage!’ is the same as looking at the sun on the horizon and treating it like a finish line.

We know the sun isn’t AT the horizon, and it is impossible to arrive at the horizon in the first place because it only exists as the limit of our vision... your story is like that. You do have limits on how much potential you can see. But that doesn’t mean your goal should be to catch up to it. Take it one step at a time. Many people don’t even START their story, let alone finish it. Set achievable goals. 

2) The Man Behind The Curtain

The second fallacy of self-doubt is the idea that anyone is at all competent. 

It’s false. No one knows what the fuck they’re doing - you included. That’s just how the world is.

Look, I’ll give you an example. Maybe when you were little you would go to your local grocery store and think ‘wow, everything is organized and works so well! The cashiers do their thing, the self-check-out is working... everything is running like a well-oiled machine!’ 

Then you grow up, work in retail and realize that everything except the storefront is held together with chewing gum and cello-tape. No one is ever 100% adequate, at least one person is having a mental breakdown every day, and everything is five minutes away from collapsing like a house of cards - all the while customers are none the wiser. 

This holds true for practically EVERYONE and EVERYTHING.

Sure, we may our good days where we function relatively well. But this is not a held constant and on average, most of us are struggling to maintain the illusion of Everything Is Fine while simultaneously worrying that we’re the only ones that do this. 

On average, we are all incompetent. The people that succeeded are not always better - sometimes they were just lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time. For many of them, that moment happened when they were born to wealthy parents. For some, it was just about utilizing their 6 degrees of separation right. 

The truth is, there are THOUSANDS of people who COULD have been Beyonce, or JK Rowling, or whoever. The popular are not inherently more talented. They just happened to have the spotlight on them. 

3) Schrodinger’s Fanbase

The third thing to keep in mind when you write, or draw, or compose, or CREATE - is that your audience is not a set auditorium of people. 

And statistically, the beginning of your story is always going to be the point at which you have the largest number of potential fans. 

When you START your story, you only have to worry about satisfying people about the premise. You get them hooked and they’re more or less appeased - because the rest of the story is in their expectations. It’s in their head, and they will make up whatever they need to keep them happy. At that point, your story is still 90% their story (or whatever they think your story will be). 

The further you go into your story, the more you will narrow down your fanbase. People who expected it to take a different turn in chapter 2 will drop off. Then people who wanted something specific to happen in chapter 3 (but it didn’t) will also leave. 

And you know what? THAT’S FINE. That’s the normal way stories go. You cannot appease everyone at the same time - you will always have people who will be dissatisfied with the way you decided to do things. 

The important bit is - that doesn’t mean you are a worse writer. It just means that your fanbase organically shifts and expands as necessary. Your story will speak to different people at different stages. Let them enjoy it or not enjoy it. You cannot force someone to like something - but you CAN form connections to those people that do like it! 

In other words - let the fanbase exist as its own separate ecosystem, and don’t depend on it. It will morph and evolve as you write, and you and your fans will find each other and drift away as necessary. 

I also encourage other people - fans specifically - to allow consider this approach! 

I know we all love to kvetch, and yeah, it’s good sometimes to let off steam... But I don’t think hyperfocusing on something you dislike is healthy. If a story doesn’t satisfy you, don’t waste time forming an anti-fandom for it. Don’t fuel more effort and time into something that makes you unhappy. Just... go find something that you DO enjoy! Give THAT your time and attention!

Anyway, that’s just the way I think about it. Maybe it’s because I’ve been around long enough to know that pretty much every author and artist suffers from self-doubt and it’d be silly to hold myself to unrealistic standards that no one else is able to meet?

Hope that helps!