#the only people that can do this are like the secretary bc she's like that and i like her

[quetzalpapalotl]

Really annoys me when random people call me by my name's diminutive. Like, I don't care how I look or how I sound, I'm still a grown woman and it sounds extremely condescending to call me -ita. Like yes, my dad does it, and my great aunt does it and most of my family does it, but that's different!!! If you didn't hold me as a toddler you don't get that privilege!!!

[raedas]

i’m going to cry mock trial board is going 2 suck so hard this year.

[bkgml]

meanie katsuki makes the reader jealous on purpose then she cries bc he thinks he doesnt love them anymore ☹️

katsuki messing up!

katsuki has never seen you get jealous. to him, anyone who looks your way is a threat. he wants you all to himself, it’s selfish he knows, but he just needs you so badly.

you never ever showing him you’re jealous annoys him to no end. do you even want him that bad? maybe you care less about him than he cares about you.

he takes his problem to kirishima. he’s the only one he trusts to talk about this.

“so? what do i do?” he asks.

“i don’t understand, you want her to be jealous?” kirishima questions.

“i guess. i just want her to show that she wants me.” katsuki frowns. he sounds so damn vulnerable right now.

“try and make her jealous then. see if she cares enough about you.”

“huh. how the fuck do i do that?” katsuki asks.

“anytime a girl comes up to you, flirting with you and stuff, flirt back a little. don’t tell them to fuck off like you normally do.”

“flirt back…”

“hey there, sexy.” a woman calls to katsuki in the street.

he’s used to this shit. people are always coming up to him in the street flirting with him. can’t they see you’re right there holding his hand?

‘flirt back’ he thinks.

“hey.” he smiles.

‘what the fuck? did he just flirt with her?’ you think to yourself. you’re used to seeing katsuki be flirted with, but to see him flirt back? how dare he?

you frown for a moment but quickly neutralize your face so he doesn’t see your jealousy, he’s never been disloyal you have no reason to nag him with jealousy.

things go on like this for weeks. someone will flirt with katsuki and he’ll blatantly flirt back. you’re growing upset. why is he doing this right in front of you?

eventually, you’re at your wits end.

you went to visit katsuki for lunch at his agency and he told his secretary to tell him you arrived while being discreet. he had a coworker in his office that’s always been flirty with him, touchy and blunt with suggestive remarks.

he decided to indulge her this time so you could walk in and see him flirting with her.

“hi, handsome. you wanted to see me?” she asked.

you arrived at his office and opened the door.

“uh huh. wanted to know why you were walking around with those tight ass pencil skirts.”

you stiffen.

“katsuki…?” you say, voice cracking.

“shit. why are you crying, pretty?” he stands and orders the woman out of his office.

he shuts the door and turns to you.

you look so small and fragile like this.

he cups your face but you back away shaking your head.

“are you cheating on me?” you say, tears finally falling.

“what? no. never.”

you look down, hands clenching into fists.

“then why have you been flirting with everyone? every single person who’s flirted with you in the past couple weeks you’ve flirted back. you’ve acted like i don’t even exist when someone else is there. i tried to let it go but now you’ve pushed me over the fucking edge katsuki!” you scream.

katsuki winces. he went way to far.

“it was a stupid fucking idea, baby. im so sorry, i pushed you too hard on this.” he defends.

you look up at him and glare.

“what idea?”

“i was talking to kirishima about how i’ve never seen you jealous and i was fucking insecure. i didn’t know if you wanted me because you always brush it off when other bitches flirt with me! he told me i should try to make you jealous!”

“you think it’s easy to brush it off? i was trying to not make you think i was clingy because i am so obviously out of your league! i thought you’d fucking leave me if i clung to you like this!” you’re pissed. he made you feel worthless because of some stupid idea?

“i wasn’t thinking. you’re out of my league, sweets. i messed up so fucking bad because i was insecure. can you forgive me? please? i don’t deserve it but i only have eyes for you and i always will.” he steps closer to you.

you think for a minute before sighing.

“i forgive you but i’m still fucking pissed. you’re going to be making this up to me for years.”

“promise. i’ll spend forever making this shit up to you.” he steps closer again.

“can i hold you now?” he pleads.

you laugh lightly and he smiles.

you raise your arms and katsuki rushes forward, wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you.

he places kisses all over your face and neck before burying his face in your chest.

“i messed up.”

“yeah.” you smile.

he walks to his desk chair and sits with you in his lap.

he places a kiss to your lips.

“i’m an idiot.”

“yeah.”

he wipes your old tears off your face and kisses your temple.

“kirishimas an idiot too for giving me that advice.”

“yeah.”

you wrap your arms around his neck.

you kiss his nose.

“you’re perfect and no one else compares.”

“yeah.”

katsuki laughs and holds you tight to him. rubbing your back and weaving his fingers through your hair, breathing in your sweet perfume.

“wanna have lunch now?”

“yeah!”

[tojivu]

# OFFICE HOURS ‣ GOJO SATORU

✰ — author’s note i feel so guilty bc gojo is literally the only character i write for LOL anyway this is an old draft from months ago. idk why this is so long im so horrendously down bad for this fucking snowman.

✰ — cw / tags arrogant ceo!gojo x secretary f!reader, sfw, not rly enemies to lovers bc gojo has fat feelings, gojo satoru being a billionaire playboy

✰ — playing death & taxes by daniel caesar.

✰ — word count ~3k LOL

nothing about gojo satoru really strikes you as the serious type.

even in a professional environment, your boss always has a carefree demeanour. his laugh is so nauseatingly loud that you can hear it from outside the office, and you wonder how someone as busy as him manages through his day; much less with a positive attitude. you take one look at his schedule, and you want to vomit with the way you hardly see any gaps between appointments.

you suppose you could learn that from him. it's his only good quality.

you admit that he's likeable, on surface level. there's a reason why you detest him, though: as his closest colleague, you know him way more than you would prefer. most people would think such a well to do man like satoru would have a wife by his side, but that's unfortunately not the case. you almost feel more miserable than him—because now you're forced to be the listening ear and comforting hand at his beck and call.

you think he'd be just fine if he was just a little more humble. he has a nice face. it's his fault for being so stuck up. you know how many women ask him out—painfully aware, actually.

'they just aren't suited to my taste,' he would say to you. 'i need someone that makes me feel alive.'

one time, gojo even asked you to bail him out of a date—something about the way she held her fork and knife disturbed him, and you were expected to show up at the restaurant and act as if there was an emergency.

'i'm so sorry, sweetheart. i have to go, duty calls.' his disgustingly charming tone made you want to slap him then and there.

she called him again the following week, and he completely forgot who she was. he didn't even save her number.

the sheer number of people asking him out had stroked his ego so hard that gojo firmly believes no woman is deserving enough. he rambles on and on to you about how snobby some of them seem, and it takes everything in you to bite your tongue when he does. 'takes one to know one,' you would say, if not for your job at stake.

you think gojo satoru is full of himself. you are a strong believer of that. a witness, as well—it's not like he didn't try his way with you, too. unlike the women he ranted about, you turned him down every single time.

it's been a long while since any of that has happened, though. the most recent ordeal was months ago, but that didn't inherently mean that people stopped asking him out: it just meant that he was rejecting every single offer.

it's a thursday morning when you find yourself eating a sandwich you purchased on the way to work, at your desk—wondering when the big boss will finally arrive. the clock read 9 a.m., and you're expecting an extravagant "good morning!" to surprise you any moment now.

just then, you notice mr. conceited walk in: except something is different. he has no stride in his step. there was no good morning. there was no playful teasing directed at you as he walked past your desk and into his office, not that you were complaining—it was just strange.

you stand up, a mouthful of your sandwich still being chewed. you take a big sip of water and fix your skirt and blouse, making sure your hair is presentable—before swiftly making your way into his office.

──────

"i cannot believe this." he mumbles. you're standing in front of his desk, but he's not facing your direction.

gojo's chair is turned to the giant window that overlooks the business district, and he's gazing out of it thoughtfully. you think this is the cheesiest thing you've seen him do.

you can see how disheveled his hair was, even from where you were standing. you don't want to irritate him further, in case teasing you was still on his to-do list that day.

"what is it, mr. gojo?"

he swivels his chair around, and he is a mess—just what could have he been up to?

"i woke up late today."

"you're the boss, mr. gojo. you can come in any time you want—"

"not the point." he interrupts you. "i forgot my lunch. i was in the car, with the driver, on the way here already. . . and then i realised i left my donuts at home."

gojo's face is absolutely distraught. he looks like he's gone through a divorce and had his house set on fire with how he stands up dramatically—his hands now on his desk. you open your mouth to speak, but he shuts you up by talking again.

"i didn't want to inconvenience him. i'm too thoughtful, miss y/n."

you want to scoff, but you bite your tongue and hold back.

"so i got out of the car and ran back for it," gojo recounts. "i arrived home after the treacherous journey—only to discover that my donuts are gone."

you feign an expression of shock, just to humour him; he gives you an 'i know right' look, and continues his nonsensical story.

"the maids threw them away, miss y/n."

you can't help yourself: you let a small giggle slip through your lips. you quickly use your hand to cover your mouth, thinking of a quick excuse.

you cough. you pretend to, at least—but gojo satoru is not stupid.

no, maybe a little. though, not enough to be convinced of your terrible acting.

"nothing about this is funny."

you nod, looking down at the floor. "i apologise, mr. gojo, but it's just a few donuts. i'm sure someone in the office could fetch some for you."

"yes, i agree." he says, and you shift your gaze from the marble tiling of his office to his face. his hair is a mess, yes—but he still looks revoltingly handsome. his eyes are piercing through yours, and pieces of hair cover his face in just the right places.

you're staring a little too long and gojo finds his pulse quickening with the eye contact—but the spell he has you under is soon broken when he clears his throat.

you quickly look away, embarrassed that you were caught staring at your boss, by your boss.

"you'll pick some up for me, yeah?" his smooth and silky voice echoes through the empty space of his office.

you look at him again, and there's a gentle smile on his face; one you're all too familiar with.

you're aware of satoru's charismatic nature, his playboy-ish attitude, and all sorts of tricks he uses to make women fall head over heels for him. that didn't mean you were completely resistant to them, though—you find yourself playing with the sleeves of your blouse, your ears beginning to redden. "of course," is all you manage to say.

at least you were self-aware.

your mind was rational. should gojo satoru try to hit on you for the nth time—all it took was some self discipline to say no, and you'd like to think you had plenty.

you think the conversation is done with the way he doesn't speak another word, so you turn on your heels and make your way out of the office.

just as you touch the handle of the door, your boss adds: "i'll come with you."

you turn back to him, confused. you didn't need your boss babysitting you for a donut run, you knew his favourite flavours—it's all he ever insists on buying for lunch. "there's no need for that, mr. gojo."

satoru shakes his head in disapproval. "you don't even know my favourite flavours, miss y/n."

that was a blatant lie. he knew you knew. you were his personal donut grabber for a few months up until august, and it was only october. you suppose that it would've continued on if not for your complaints about the long lines in the morning.

nevertheless, you don't argue with him. gojo satoru was the type to get what he wants, when he wants, if he really wants it.

you smile at his disregard for the months you spent as his errand runner, and how idiotic the excuse he just used was. satoru knows he's lying through his teeth, and your smile makes him more nervous than your eye contact.

so nervous, in fact, that he takes back what he just said. "unless. . . you're fine by yourself."

you're surprised that gojo's confidence is dissipating, or that it could even fade at all. you can tell with the way he's avoiding your eye contact, exactly how you evaded his earlier—the red on the tips of his ears are much too obvious in contrast to his hair.

"i don't mind," you respond a bit too quicker than appropriate. "mr. gojo."

gojo curses himself mentally, thinking about how stupid he must sound. he's usually the one making people nervous, but he doesn't know why it's different when you look at him like that.

──────

the atmosphere is deafening in gojo's favourite bakery. you always knew he had a sweet tooth, so you expected his choice to be a spectacular one—and you weren't disappointed.

you had personally visited this bakeshop before, and the confectionery was truly as good as people made it out to be; it proved evident in the amount of people crammed into this small establishment. though, you can't tell if it was for the food or for your boss, with the way most pairs of eyes are turned in his direction.

you two spend a good five seconds looking at the menu before gojo states his order, which was exactly what you thought it would be—the lady at the cashier smiles a bit too long at satoru, before asking: "eating in?"

you want to open your mouth to say something, but he beats you to it. "of course."

it was still very well your work day. he (or maybe you and him, considering you helped him plan seventy percent of his appointments) had a meeting in 3 hours to prepare for. you think this donut adventure is already unnecessary enough—but here he is, suggesting to waste even more time eating the donuts in the bakery itself.

"we have a meeting in a bit, though. you could eat it in your office."

he looks at you with a confused look, as if he forgot that there was a meeting at all—because he did forget. gojo gasps, turning back to the lady and retracting his previous statement.

──────

gojo eats his donuts agonisingly slow and no conversation is initiated.

you're alternating between staring at both your laptops and the swirls on the wooden desk, unable to say anything because you didn't plan for such an occasion: an eating donuts with your admittedly handsome boss that makes you nervous while simultaneously planning for an important meeting occasion.

"miss y/n, you should try some."

you shift your eyes from the table to gojo, and he's holding a small piece of his donut to your lips: the powdered sugar practically calling your name.

"it's fine, i ate earlier," you decline his generous offer. "you should eat."

"i'm not asking you to eat all of them, miss y/n." he smiles at you. "just a bite. it's really good, y'know."

you sigh, reaching for his hand to take it from him—but he swiftly pulls it away and shakes his head. "open your mouth."

you feel the tips of your ears burning, blood rushing to your cheeks and you wonder how the girls he takes out manage themselves when he's like this—you've worked with him for so long, yet you can't recall a time when his gaze wouldn't make you shudder.

you think you'd stutter if you spoke one more word to him, so you save yourself from the embarrassment and bare with his request.

he feeds you the piece of sugar-coated donut, and you're sure you have powder on the corners of your lips with how it's width barely fits into your mouth.

you chew and swallow, feeling the residue of sugar on your skin.

"do you have any tissues?" you ask him, a serious expression plastered onto your face.

gojo tries to suppress the chuckle itching to escape his throat—the sugar on your lips and cheeks catch him off guard, and after a few seconds he can't help but let a small laugh slip. you stand up from your chair, scanning the room for any boxes of tissues you could lay your hands on.

he stands up as well, shaking his head—still giggling.

"it's not funny," you frown, and the smile on his face only grows wider—you're too cute for your own good when you sulk. "stop laughing."

you're not sure if you want to punch him or let him giggle to himself. for some reason, seeing you embarrassed is a great cause of joy to him. you can't bring yourself to tell him to shut up; you always imagine doing just that, it's strange how you couldn't muster the courage just when you needed it most.

"it's quite funny," gojo's laughter eventually calms down.

he leans closer to you and his right hand gently holds the side of your jaw—he uses his thumb to gently wipe the sugar off your cheek, and then your lips. "i got it."

his thumb stays on your bottom lip after dusting the sugar away. his pupils are locked onto the surface of your lips, which were glossy in the harsh light of his office: they looked so soft.

before long, they trail up your face until he's looking directly into your eyes: and this time you're not nervous, you don't look away, and your heart is completely calm.

satoru's fingers are easy on your skin. he handles you like fragile glass, as if he doesn't want to break you: and it's the same for the way he looks at you. gentle.

you're reluctant to speak because the way satoru has his thumb on your bottom lip sends shivers down your spine. you feel breathless.

you don't want this feeling to leave, not just yet.

a few seconds of tension pass. his hand moves back to your jaw, and your nervousness returns when gojo satoru leans his tall figure even closer to you; his head tilting ever so slightly.

it's a random thursday morning when you discover a few more good qualities gojo satoru possesses: his lips and his hands. maybe the way he kisses, too—it's slow and precise, unlike his attitude. he tastes sickeningly sweet and it makes you want to savour this moment even more.

you promised yourself you wouldn't fall victim to gojo satoru. yet, you just can't pull away: instead finding yourself slithering your arms around his neck and your chest pressing against his.

gojo's hands are wandering down to your waist and he's desperate to have you as close to him as possible, showing in the way he tries to close the already small gap between you two.

it takes only a fraction of a second for a small thought to form in your mind: just how many women have been in this position?

you quickly forget about that thought, though—you think it's pointless to regret it now, gojo satoru kisses you too good to be full of remorse.

gojo thinks he could stay like this: kiss you all morning, afternoon and pay you overtime if it meant he could be this close to you for just a bit longer.

there's hints of neediness in gojo's touch—as if he'd been waiting for this forever, wanting to relish it before it ends. his few seconds of bliss don’t last very long though, because you're soon pulling away—gasping for air.

he sighs mockingly, his hands sliding down from your waist to your hips. "can't last longer than 10 seconds, miss y/n?"

of course he would say some cocky shit like that—you'd forgotten for a minute that this was the same, arrogant mr. gojo you always knew, and no kiss (however heavenly) was going to change that.

"i'm sorry that i don't go on dates with every man that breathes."

gojo smirks at you after you say those words. "come on. just because i go on dates with people, doesn't mean i kiss them like this."

"sure you don't." your jealousy shows a bit too much in your reply, and he finds himself smiling even harder.

"is someone jealous?" he teases you again, rubbing circles with his thumb against the flesh of your hips.

you feel flustered, knowing that you're definitely done for now—he saw right through you. "nobody is jealous, mr. gojo."

"stop it with the formality. just call me satoru."

"it's still office hours. it's only polite."

gojo rolls his eyes, sighing in the process. you grin a little at him, knowing that this was the first thing you denied him of today—complying with the donuts and the kissing was already spoiling him enough.

"then i suppose there's only after work," there's his nauseatingly charming voice again—low and smooth. he knows exactly what he's doing to you, and you know it too. "i'm off after 6."

you think long and hard about whether you want to be mean and add this to the list of things you've declined to do for him. the ratio was starting to get really unbalanced—but you remember the way his hands touch you and how his lips greet yours so lovingly: and you think that there's no point turning back now.

"my boss doesn't let me off until after 8, though." you try to poke at his buttons—you put on a fake pout, knowing you’ll accept his invitation anyway—but gojo satoru is eternally patient when it came to things he sincerely desired.

"fuck your boss." he says, "he'll be fine with it."

you laugh at his response. you never thought you would see the day gojo curses at himself, after all, he's so self-obsessed: but you suppose you've seen—and tasted—parts of him that you never knew existed.

"then i'll see you at 6, mr. gojo."

what was the harm in discovering more?

230323 — i kinda hate this but.. wtv… anyway i couldn’t be bothered to proofread have my brainrot of gojo in a suit Mmmm yumyum

[stephofromcabin12]

🤫

Ahem:

Dionysus hid in his own home during that time between HOO and TOA 5 like the dad in arrested development until Zeus spotted him out and about and sent him back.

Hera has a swear jar on Olympus. It’s most frequently brought out during game nights.

Hermes has the loudest, most obnoxious ring tones. Several because he has multiple phones.

Ares is directly responsible for reddit’s existence. He’s not aware of this. He’s also banned from 9897996 subreddits. He’s started double that amount.

Apollo’s main strategy of getting out of conversations with people is to pretend to text and go “uuuhhhhmm” *taptaptaptaptaptap* “weeeellll, hmmm, uuhhhhhhhh” *taptaptaptaptap* until they get angry and give up trying to talk to him.

You’re most likely to run into Hermes, Apollo and Artemis at a gym (Artemis is just there looking for potential hunters)

You might assume Ares would be there but he’s not. He’s casually dropping into arenas and hotels that athletes stay at while playing for tournaments. And sports bars. So many sports bars.

He used to go to the olympic village but he got too distracted by the games to even bother picking up potential mortal partners.

Apollo had a plant phase (“nymphs dig plants, right?”) didn’t last long.

Artemis attracts cats and does not understand why, considering she’s hanging out with wolves all the time.

Hecate likes to send her unclaimed kids those tarot “this was meant to find you” readings everywhere with specific hints that she’s connected to them, to see if they figure it out. She also will only communicate through scrying and magic rather than IM’s, and gets very offended when her children don’t pick up on it at all. Her version of “cause you’re always on that damn phone” is “You never use your intuition!!”

Hypnos has shown up in his kids’ dreams multiple times, in various forms. Hey, gotta take advantage of unseen ways of checking in on ‘em right. He’ll visit other’s children if he’s asked nicely and you catch him in the right mood. More gods have asked him to do this than they’d care to admit.

Dionysus can identify the year and grape of a wine just by hearing it poured.

Aphrodite is unapologetically on all dating apps, and is unafraid to message any of her kids she sees, as well as demigods in general, just to say hi. She’ll sometimes say something ominous as if she’s seen their interests and is making ~plans~ for their future in love. She knows they’re mortified, that’s why she does it.

I see trash canon Ares and raise you: Coach dad Ares. Your classic coach dad. He’s arguing with their actual football coaches, he’s grilling after a victory, he’s putting kids in headlocks and ruffling their hair. His leather jacket may or not crinkle due to the Werther’s originals he carries around. He does the reach around snack hand on the solstices during the presentations.

At those solstice meetings every year, the gods have a nymph secretary to whisper their kids’ names in their ear in case they forget.

Ares has had the same dog for 4000 years. Its unclear if its really the same dog he’s kept around or if he simply gets the same kind of dog every-time the last one dies and names it the same name. It’s called Thyella or “Ty” for short.

This is just like— headcanon but I like the idea of the gods not only being distant and emotionally unavailable bc they’re bad parents but also bc they’re just: extremely confused by humans. Especially modern humans. They can’t keep up. They’re perplexed at the speed at which their demigod kids pick up, and leave behind, things, phrases and trends. And they hate not knowing things, and even worse, not being considered cool by their kids (where’s the honor in that?). So they feign disinterest but the easiest way to piss them off is to make something up and go “oh you don’t know about that? Mom/Dad that’s ancient news!” When they ask what you’re talking about.

Similarly my favorite headcanon for them is that they’re deities, as in, they’re not human. They’re unquantifiable. They’re at times almost creature like? Like, they’re confusing and everchanging and Other. There’s something distinctly Not Human about them, even when they’re trying to come across as one. A mortal might find it alluring, a demigod will probably find it slightly disturbing, especially when they occasionally catch a glimpse of it in themselves.

Demigods, because of this, also come across as almost not human to others at times. There’s something off about them. Its not the ADHD, it’s not the way they never use technology. Its the way they nod sagely in class when discussing ancient myths, like they’ve met the gods themselves or quietly add “psh, yeah they wish” under their breath while watching a documentary.

Its in the way their eyes look purple if the sun hits them just right, before you blink and they go back to their usual blue.

Their reflexes that, despite being so clumsy, are freakishly good under pressure. The sheer strength they have when you know they’ve never set foot in a gym.

Its the way you remember that one time in the second grade when your buddy took a baseball to the face and still to this day you could’ve sworn there was the tiniest swirling of something shimmery reflecting in the blood dripping down over their fingers; microscopic golden specks reflecting in the fluorescent lights on the way to the nurse’s office. You never mentioned it at the time, much too caught up in the drama and excuse to leave P.E early. But you still look at them now, years later, stretching out in the sun like a plant; trying to absorb as much light as possible, scars that they never mention and never acknowledge crossing their abdomen and arms, and you wonder what that’s all about.

In the case of adults, mortals don’t necessarily know that they’re speaking to a god, but there’s something about them that just— feels off. Not bad, not always. Just something in the way they know things that doesn’t make sense. How they seem to appear out of nowhere, appearance always perfect without them even trying. They don’t sweat. They don’t blush. They never run out of things to say. They never lose their way. People seem to just bend around them, like the time the restaurant they took you to was closed early and after a short conversation, the chef reappeared to open the kitchen just for you. Or the time they scored tickets to that sold out concert, or wrestling match. It’s so odd looking back on that fling all those years ago and realising that you dont think they ever showered. Or shaved. Not that it showed on them but that’s still odd right? Or the time they chatted with someone on the phone in a language you didn’t recognize.

“What was that language?” An innocent question, this was before you thought to be suspicious of these things.

“Greek.” They answer, not meeting your eyes.

“I didn’t know your family is from Greece,” you reply, trying to think if they ever mentioned it.

“Oh, we go way back,” they say, changing the subject before you think to ask more questions.

[sisaloofafump]

I LOVE YOUR CAT!BRUCE POST!!!

Do you think someone would give him a cat after it's over?

Or would he maybe coincidentally find a stray cat out on patrol and the ears and tail look similar to what his looked like so he can't resist adopting it? If he did, he would keep it a secret from the others for as long as he could bc he just knows they'll make fun of him >:(

(and if somebody else gives him one I bet he'd be the typical "dad who didn't want a pet". Act like he doesn't like the cat in front of everyone until boom it's his little baby now)

Omg all amazing ideas.

Personally I think that cats start liking him a lot more after he's detransformed. When he was catlike, they would be weirded out by him, or see him as an immediate friend, or become territorial and try and scare him away (which caused quite a stir on his favourite stakeout roofs). But once he's human again, cats get the inherent sense that he is Safe, similar to how they congregate around Selina.

I think there are two types of people who try and give him pets: Socialites who give him a pretty little kitten with a bow, and who he immediately passes off to Lucius to organize the adoption of before his kids can notice. And Damian, the only one of the kids who lets his own wants for another cat completely overpower the impracticality and lack of capacity for another one. Luckily this hasn't devolved into acquiring a new cat (yet) but he takes his campaigning very seriously.

There are three cats in the manor already. Alfred the Cat (Damian's) and two of Selina's strays who came back after she left town. And everyone loves to take photos of them and Bruce. Before, when he was part cat, he had a bit too strong of a territorial rivalry with them. And when Selina left he grumbled all the time about how they should have gone with her. But as you said, he is the typical "dad who didn't want a pet" and his workstation usually has 1-3 cats lying around it. They're not super affectionate cats tho and mostly just slow blink at him from a distance.

However. One day he's out patrolling and comes across this butt ugly mangled orange cat. And he's so pitiful and so sweet and he sees a woman being robbed and jumps down on the attacker's head. Needless to say Bruce is hopelessly enamoured.

He takes this cat to the vet, dressed fully as Batman, and when the check up is done he tells himself he will deliver it to a shelter tomorrow. But those open in hours and he needs to take care of Batman business now, so he breaks into WE, is caught by a security guard when the cat screeches and refuses to let go, finally removes the cat's claws from his cape, hands the cat to a security guard, and says "for Bruce Wayne."

Most people in the vet & office (and Bruce verbally agrees with them) assume that Batman gave the cat to him as a prank or misguided association. This butt ugly mangled male orange stray becomes the office cat that Bruce spoils relentlessly when he's in. He can't even complain about receiving gag gift cat toys from his family and the league, when he constantly squirrels them away to pamper Princess with. (I mean, he does still complain, including about the quality of the gifts, but he shouldn't considering how much he uses them).

He makes very sure that his secretary and the night staff (who, if we're being honest, are the main ones taking care of Princess) follow all the proper dietary and behaviour guidelines.

"He looks just like me!" Bruce defends at a shareholder's meeting, holding the cat up to his face.

"Sureeee," the shareholders say as they attempt to move the meeting forward. They remember cat!Bruce's beautiful sleek black hair, his handsome countenance and graceful air. They look at this off brand roadkill Garfield. They decide not to talk about it further.

Also cat!Bruce & Clark thing that was part of the initial thingamathing

[kissesforsatoru]

can I request separate hcs for Bonten!Mikey, Sanzu, Rindou, Ran, and Sanzu x Farmer!Reader? like there's this one time where the boys asked the reader for a date but their own secretaries are making fun of the reader bcs yk she's from a farm and she doesn't wear any fancy clothes that the city girls have 👀

BONTEN! MIKEY, SANZU, RINDOU, RAN x GN!READER

₊˚⌗ bonten boys reaction to their darling being insulted

⤷ cw : general yandere themes, violence, threats, descriptions of injury, death, murder, slight nsfw for rindous part

notes : you put sanzu twice and i haven’t a clue who you could’ve meant instead so i just did the four you asked for

mikey is pissed. who the hell do these people think they are to be talking badly about you when they're just dumb fucking entitled sluts. their only personality trait is being a good fuck, unlike you who's kind and hard working. he needs to put them in their place, so he fucks with them a bit. but if they dare to ever say anything bad about you again, they're dead.

“i heard mikey asked out that farm person that was here the other day”

“really? them?”

“i know! their clothes look so rugged, i bet they’ll show up in overalls and a flannel or something like that. don’t they realize that they can’t wear stuff like that on dates?”

“mr. sano is way out of their league, i don’t know what he sees in them if i’m being honest.”

“right. he should be going after people with more class than that farm freak.”

mikey, sighs and sets down his glass with a force that causes the strippers sat around the booth to jump and look in his direction. he ignores them, instead standing up from his seat with a pissed off look on his face.

“sanzu.” he calls to his second as he walks towards the back exist of the club they’re currently occupying. sanzu smirks, knowing exactly what his boss wants without him having to say another word.

he’s quick to lure the girls outside where his boss waits, a cigarette between his lips that’s already been half smoked. the girls giggle as they look between sanzu and mikey, which just makes sanzu’s smirk grow wider with a thrill of excitement and anticipation. what dumb bitches, he thinks as he gestures to mikey.

mikey takes another drag of his cigarette before he wordlessly takes it from between his lips and grabs one of the girls—the one who called his bosses play thing a freak, sanzu remembers. she giggles again, giving her friend a look as she nuzzles up to mikey with an arch of her back that makes the man holding her quirk his lip in disgust.

“i’m fucking tired of sluts like you acting like you’re better than everyone because your loose pussy gets you a little bit of money.” he says lowly, threateningly, and finally, the girl stops giggling.

“what?” she says, body going rigid.

“your only value in this world is to be used and fucked, then get passed onto the next guy that wants some quick, cheap pleasure.” mikey continues. the girl begins to struggle in his hold, but mikeys grip only tightens.

the other girl tries to back away as she witnesses the situation unfold between her friend and mikey, but sanzu is quick to grab her and keep her in place with a knife to her throat.

“so what gives you the fucking right to talk shit about people with real value, hm?” he questions, flicking the ash off of his cigarette before taking another drag and blowing the smoke in the girls face. she coughs, struggling to breath as the smoke clouds her lungs.

“you’re not shit, unlike y/n. you need to be put in your fucking place, you dirty bitch.”

the girl screams as mikey puts his cigarette out on her arm, flicking the bud to the ground before doing the same to her.

“don’t ever fucking talk shit about them again or i'll kill you.”

sanzu coudn't have been scarier the moment he hears an insult to his darling leave someone's lips. he's crazy, so he's not going to just rough 'em up a bit, he'll straight up kill them without hesitation. anyone whos speaks bad things under his darlings name is a waste of space in his eyes.

"what the fuck did you just say?" he asks, chin tilted up as he gazes down at the woman who just said something bad about you--a display of superiority that has the girl shivering under his towering form.

her lip quivers as she tries to muster up the courage to say something, but all that can escape is a nervous laugh. sanzu sneers, lip curing in distaste as he pulls out his gun and pushes it against her forehead. he unlocks the safety and pushes teasingly on the trigger.

"w-wait! i'm sorry! sanzu, i-i didn't mean it!" she starts to scream, her heart thumping so loudly against her chest that sanzu can practically hear it. he smirks, pushing it further into her head which only coaxes more ugly sobs and screams from her vile mouth.

"did you not fucking hear me? are you deaf or somehting?" i asked you what you just fucking said." he repeats himself, laughing bitterly and coldly as the look on her face contorts more and more into a look of pure terror. good. she should be fucking sorry that she ever uttered your precious name.

"i-i said, y/n’s clothes look like they were t-taken from the dumpster. i d-don't understand why y-you asked them out." she stutters pathetically as she repeats the disgusting words she said about you just a second ago.

"that's what i thought i heard you say. i was hoping for your sake that i was wrong." he says coldly, any ounce of amusement on his face disappearing.

“w-what?” she askes, voice wobbly and hoarse from all the screaming she just did. she gulps and gives him a hopeful look when he lowers the gun. but instead of putting it away, he hits her haid with the gun, causing her to fall to the floor. she doesn’t get a chance to do anything other than scream and cry before sanzu speaks again.

"filth like you should learn to keep their mouths shut." he says, aiming his gun down at her before shooting.

rindou would insult the hell out of whoever insulted you, and he won't hold back either. anyone that isn't you is already trash to him, but anyone that insults you? they're the filthy dirt on his shoes as far as he's concerned. and if they have the gal to insult you again, he won't hesitate to cut off their tongue so they can never say anything bad about you again.

"rin rin, do you have to go out with that person from the other day?" the girl on his lap asks in a high pitched, whiney voice that gives him a headache. he hums, tilting his head in question as he tries to recall the person she's talking about. she pouts, bouncing in his lap when he doesn't remember.

"the one that looks like their clothes were washed with mud because of how old and dirty they were." she describes, and rindous body goes stiff with realization--she's talking about you.

"yeah, i do." he says curtly, turning his head to take a sip of his drink. the girl pouts some more, but this time she leans into him and drags her hand down his chest, her breasts pushing up against him to make them look bigger. she giggles after seeing the amused look he gives her.

"but why would you want to go out with an ugly person like them when you could stay and have fun with me." she whispers, trying to sound seductive, but rindou was pissed rather than turned on.

he pushes her off of him, uncaring of the fact that she fell on the floor and spilt her own drink all over herself.

"hey, what the fuck?!" she yells at him, but he ignores her and just takes another sip of his drink.

"and why the fuck would i want a desperate bitch like you, hm?" he asks, setting his glass down on his thigh as he leans forward and glares down at her. she doesn't say anything, but the look of disbelief on her faces makes rindou want to laugh.

"y/n is far better than some whore that doesn't even know how to turn a guy on properly." he says motioning to his flacid dick.

"honestly, how useless can you be? i paid a lot of money expecting a good fuck, and this is what i get? some try-hard bitch that's entitled and thinks she can replace my y/n" he scoffs, a feigned huff of a laugh leaving his lips as he shakes his head.

"you'll never be anything compared to what y/n is to me. you're just some whore i'm using for pleasure, but y/n is my everything." he says sternly.

"if you ever say some shit like that to me again i'll cut you're fucking tongue off." dumping his leftover drink on her, he stands up and leaves.

ran is similar to mikey in the way that he'd definitely fuck them up. he's not going to let anyone talk shit about you and get away with it. but the difference between him and mikey though, is he's a bit sadistic and enjoys fucking up anyone that talks shit about his darling.

"who did that person think they were coming into the club with dirty, old clothes? and they talked to ran so causally! he should've kicked them out right away for embarrassing him like that."

"excuse me?" the woman jumped at hearing someone behind her. she quickly turned around and sighed in relief seeing ran with an amused smile on his lips.

"oh my, i didn't notice you behind me." she giggled. "i was just saying you should've had that person thrown out from the other day. it was embarrassing how they came in here looking like they just got dragged through the mud. they didn't contaminate you or anything when they touched you, right?" she joked and ran laughed along with her, forced and strained.

"of course, they didn't." he says once she comes down from her fit of laughter, and his faces falls.

"why would they? they're perfect. unlike you who was born trash." he says, and the womans face scrunches up in confusion. ran grabs her arm with a smile before dragging her upstairs to his own private section of the club, all the while she's yelling protests that go ignored.

he throws her to the ground and looks down at her with a displeased look on his face. when she tries to stand up, he presses his foot against her body and pushes her back down to the floor.

"you said it yourself, right? filth doesn't have the privilege of standing and talking so casually to me." he says as one of the bouncers enters the room and hands him a baton. the woman begins to scream as ran looks down at her with mock sympathy before whacking her side.

"shut up. you should've kept your fucking mouth shut if you didn't want this to happen." he says just as the woman starts to cry.

[sunsetsover]

im finally rewatching ep 3 and i remembered that i meant to make a post abt how captain christ is sus as hell. as in this whole scheme he's got going with kant to me feels less like a legitimate (or as close to legit as it can be given the circumstances) investigation into a string of high profile murders and more like some kind of personal vendetta he has, maybe even w lilly specifically. and i have no basis for that other than how odd christ's reaction was when kant told him fadel and bison have different dads. idk the vibes are just off. there's something not right abt him. the whole situation stinks.

speaking of lilly tho i don't believe for one minute she's got her sons out there ridding the streets of bad men in some act of vigilante justice. bison literally calls it out in the first scene, saying that he'd seen their next target helping poor kids on the news or whatever. and yeah ok bad men often do good deeds, and ofc lilly uses that to try to belittle bison by saying that he's always been easily fooled by appearances. which is a little on the nose given the whole kant thing, but i think that actually the point was that she's referring to herself. as in she's the one doing the fooling this whole time w her conditional kindness and her weaponised warmth. helping poor kids while doing bad things behind the scenes. yknow. a common modus operandi in these circles i'm sure.

anyways my original point is that she tries to make out bison is naive and silly for even asking but at the same time the reasoning she offers them for why that guy has to die is vague as fuck. 'he's the man behind corruptions, drugs, human trafficking, and so much more'??? she might as well have said he steals food straight out of the mouths of the kids he claims to be helping too seeing as tho we're just saying shit. like girl cmon. you're an entrepreneur. i know you've trained those boys not to question you at all but lets try a little bit harder queen <3

i also do think lilly had smth to do w whatever happened to fadel's ex and that that might be why he lied to her when she asked if bison is seeing someone. at least partially. if he knows what she's capable of in that sense then he'd want to keep that shit under wraps, not for kant's sake but for bison's. i've said it before but bison's ignorance only exists bc fadel has worked his ass off to keep it that way. i feel like fadel knows, or at least suspects, that lilly isn't the woman she wants them to believe she is. but ofc fadel isn't gonna tell bison that. ignorance is bliss, and even if it wasn't that's their mother. her and bison clearly have a (relatively) warm relationship. fadel wouldn't want to ruin that with the truth.

also i don't trust style's dad either. why include a character in the intro that is seemingly so unimportant? what the fuck is up with the whole 'boonterm' thing? style's dad is obviously at LEAST mechanic running in these 'bad guy' circles considering style had to drop off the secretary's car to her. which like. idk what kinda bougie ass mechanics rich ppl be having but having your car dropped off to you - by the mechanic's son no less - at some random host bar instead of having to go pick it up seems like special treatment. like maybe it's not just a simple mechanic/customer relationship yk

and u know what as i'm typing this i'm thinking about the spiderweb motif that occurs in the show, first in kant's tattoo and then with keen in the intro (and he has spiderweb tattoos too i think?) and how everyone speculated they may be exes and maybe they are. but like. i also think it's more than that. like i just think that in this show there are a lot of people caught in a lot of webs who haven't yet realised they're the fly, not the spider. yknow.

[major-knighton]

Frank Crawley in Rebecca is so funny like. Imagine your boybestfriend refuses to talk about his dead crazy wife, so you're like "oh we're going for communally repressed trauma? Cool I can work with that" bc you are a British man.

But then you boybestfriend marries and brings home a girl who's so young and just nice that everyone wonder wtf she is doing in this gloomy hellhole and you can SEE that everyone and everything is making her miserable about being the second wife. You want to comfort her bc she's the only other morally decent person around but you're pretty sure that if you start talking shit about the dead wife the housekeeper might skin you alive and roast you like a kebab. So instead you try to like drop hints like "oh yeah the great and beautiful Rebecca who totally didn't murder kittens for fun you know I think you may actually be an improvement because you don't reign in terror over the house or make me cry myself to sleep no this is apropos of nothing"

Meanwhile boybestfriend is having even more nervous breakdowns than usual and the housekeeper is housekeeping even more aggressively and the dead wife's cousin-boyfriend is snooping around trying to blackmail people and you're just trying to do your goddamn job as a secretary and best friend. You don't know how to therapy because you are a British man in the 20s.

Then it turns out boybestfriend MURDERED the crazy wife but actually it was suicide and homie won't go to jail on account of killing people with Secret Cancer who fuck their cousins doesn't count as murder. And then the housekeeper becomes housedestroyer and burns down your home. And boybestfriend and alive-wife fuck off to France so you look for another job I guess.

[yestrday]

do u have crumbs of any of your au's to spare? 🤲 it could be au lore, character lore, little random tidbits of info - any teeny weeny little crumb. I am on my deathbed and having yester withdrawal symptoms and the only thing that can save me is your au fanservice blurbs

well! not lore drops but i have been thinking of starting another au which is witch! genshins and their specialized fields. i love funky magic yanderes. i've also thought of a fun character for the mc, who is just absolutely dead and numb to magic that the yandere could be pouring a whole love potion in their cup in front of them that they'll just sit and stare blankly. idk, i'll probably work on it after i finish up my other aus.

anyways! here's some lore drops for the academy au bc i miss those homicidal students!:

most of zhongli's former batchmates (ningguang, beidou, lisa, jean, etc) are quite amused that he used to be the student council president and at how much he's changed. he used to be a big, gruff delinquent, after all. ningguang, in particular, likes to tease him about it whenever they meet.

third year fem students are: candace, dehya, eula, keqing, ganyu, kujou sara, navia, rosaria, faruzan

2nd year students: amber, ayaka, charlotte, hutao. kirara, kokomi, layla, lynette, nilou, sucrose, shenhe, yoimiya, yunjin, yanfei

1st year students: barbara, noelle, xiangling, xinyan, fischl, collei, furina

graduates (zhongli's batch): beidou, jean, ningguang, lisa, nahida (💀), yae miko, yelan, raiden miko and ei.

although venti's the same age as zhongli, he entered school a year later.

neuvillette is the same batch as zhongli and has graduated! the two have a very tense relationship.

the current student council president is keqing. ganyu is the secretary-general. other student council members are: aether (first year representative), navia (second years representative), there is no representative for third years because childe started dissing venti onine and zhongli declined the nomination.

furina's age is around the third years' age but because of her acting career had to stop her education for two years.

the people currently competing for valedictorian is zhongli, keqing, and faruzan. kaveh was once in the running but his grades began to drop halfway through the year. baizhu could be in the running if it wasn't for his abysmal pe grades.

nahida was last years' valedictorian. and no, she has not skipped any grades.

[quillyfied]

Apology Tour details I forgot to gush about:

- Verosika finally dropping the pronounced O from Blitzo’s name. Never once does Blitzo call her on it like he does everyone else, so the fact that she does it on her own says a lot about how healing their conversation was for her and I love that for her.

- honestly it didn’t even occur to me that Blitzo should have told Stolas about the assassination attempt. So when he let it slip, I was completely blindsided as well as delighted. I genuinely don’t think Blitzo MEANT to keep it from Stolas; I think he just didn’t think about it, for all the reasons he mentions regarding Stolas’ hardiness. (ADHD coded Blitzo in the house lol)

- really would like to know if all Lust demons are called succubi for ease purposes, or if Better Than Blitzo Guy is an incubus (insert obligatory “wouldn’t it be fun to play with the terms succubus/incubus on a sexual dynamic scale rather than a gender scale” discussion here)

- Blitzo seems to be speaking really slowly for him when he’s raging about Stolas getting kissed, which makes me think he’s REALLY angry; reminds me of when he’s telling Striker to “get his shit-stained claws” off Fizz, just a drawl that feels so much more angry than his usual fast pace.

- cannot stress enough how even when they’re in the middle of fighting, Blitzo keeps trying desperately to bring their relationship back to sex bc he wants his status quo back, bc that’s still the only reason he can think of that Stolas would want him. Why ANYONE would want him. I need Ghostfuckers to BREAK HIM. I want that man sobbing his guts out and then picking himself up and looking himself in the mirror and wanting to change for himself as much as for the people he loves. You can do it, Blitzo, I believe in you.

- look guys I have zero doubts in my mind that Stolas and Blitzo together are endgame. I have equally as few doubts about the fact that it ain’t gonna be this season. Prepared to be pleasantly surprised! (Though I can’t deny that having half to a full season of mutual pining while working together and taking things slow and steady would be my ideal scenario tbh. Blitzo chewing his desk to bits over Stolas’ cute secretary glasses pls)

- as someone else pointed out…“I sorried Fizz so hard he CRIED!” Blitzo YOU cried, you over-emotional projector, you.

- the more we see about Blitzo and his past relationships and his current wants, the more obviously his deflection of “relationships are boring, I’m doing everyone a favor” rings so hollow, so much like a kid telling himself he doesn’t want that lollipop anyway because he’s never going to have it and it’s less painful to be the one rejecting than to be rejected. He’s cracking, but I need that walnut BROKEN OPEN. Bleed out all that venom, let the bone set and heal properly this time.

- GOSH I hope Vassago can be a genuine friend to Stolas, both because Stolas needs it, and because I love Harvey Guillen to bits and am so excited to meet his character 😆

Okay. I think that’s everything for now.

[transmutationisms]

do you have any insight on roman and incest? i know that in succession, business = fucking and at some points all of the sibs talk about fucking their dad as in one upping him business wise, but ceirtain comments roman makes are obviously different. i've been rewatching s3 and he joked about repetedly entering his mother's vagina at ken's birthday, in that same episode he tells shiv that she's mad logan doesn't want to fuck her anymore bc he's fucking roman now... also when he tells her she can be his sexy secretary when he takes over, and many more examples

and this last episode when he was listening to that edited video of logan over and over, i know i'm not the only one who thought he might start jacking off... i guess my question is do you think roman has any actual incestuous desires? and if not, why does he say these things? is it attention seeking? trying to make people uncomfortable?

first of all, the jacking off undertones of that deepfake scene were absolutely there on purpose. i mean, what logan is 'saying' in that clip echoes the sort of dirty talk gerri used to provide, and the reason for that is because the whole driving force of the roman-gerri affair was him getting her to say things that logan used to say about him. gerri was always a daddy proxy for him; it was always about him jacking off to the way his father verbally degraded him, but then combined with gerri's willingness to serve as an actual business mentor for him, something logan would never do because he was frankly just disgusted at roman as a general rule.

which is to say: yes, roman has some genuine incestuous desire for his father, to the same degree that anyone else with a negative oedipus complex does. and this is central, i think, to the critique of the nuclear family that runs through succession. these psychoanalytic complexes are products of that family structure, which is itself embedded within the capitalist mode of production. roman's subconscious desire to fuck/marry his father is, the show suggests, just a more overt manifestation of the standard dysfunction that inherently plagues the social form of the family. it's elevated because of the degree of control logan asserted over roman, even well into adulthood, and the way his wealth and corporate power created that dynamic. but the suggestion here is not that the roys are uniquely incestuous or that roman is intrinsically a pervert; it's that family structures, which are capitalist structures, create this type of psychosexual (under)development. it's freud if he slayed (was friends with wilhelm reich and gilles deleuze).

i don't think we have any textual reason to think roman has incestuous desire for his other family members. he talks like that for a handful of other reasons. with the caroline stuff, he's partly just responding to shiv and logan accusing him of wanting to fuck her (logan does this because he thinks roman is a pervert but can't consciously face the fact that he's, like, gay for real, so his catholic brain goes straight to He's A Boy Who Wants To Fuck His Mother; shiv makes these accusations partly for similar reasons of seeing roman as dirty / perverted / abnormal and having no other explanation, and partly because she's deflecting from her own glaring caroline issues).

with the shiv stuff, this is sort of central to their relationship—that they both make crude sexual comments to each other. it's part of how they negotiate that rivalry-camaraderie thing. it's almost cute. also, most of these comments are so off-base that they're not actually bothered by them; it's noticeable when one of them actually crosses a line (like shiv saying "some day you're actually going to have to fuck something").

overall roman's relationship to his own sexuality is fraught, partly because of logan's homophobia and resulting surveillance of roman's sexual expression, and partly because of roman's relationship with his body. also, like his siblings, roman grew up in the middle of the sexual violence corporation. he doesn't really know how to think about sex in any way besides as a violation, and this is reflected in how he talks about it. he uses incestuous or sexually crude jokes as a way to deflect from certain emotional intimacies, to present himself as disgusting so that he can pre-empt other people making him feel that way, and as a way of conveying his sense that he's at the bottom of the hierarchy and is emotionally, physically, and sexually vulnerable.

[tachimichishrine]

"high school"

⫭◦���◦⫬

doa + hunting dogs {high school AU! hcs}

warnings: none!! just keep in mind this isn't an xreader!!

decay of angels

nikolai is, without question, the class clown, and head of the drama club

the teachers HATE him

he asks waaaaaay too many questions, and all the time, too

and they're so random???

they'll be in the middle of a test and he'll ask the teacher "how's your marriage doing right now? how's your partner, are they doing well?"

lowkey gets kicked out of the class daily

now spends most of his time playing cards with the secretary in the office

bram sometimes gets sent there as well, just because he's in the mood to take a nap

however, he doesn't really say that, he'll make up some kind of excuse like "oh it's my medical condition, I have limited energy" because he's paraplegic, even if it's bs

he's also that one edgy kid who sits in the back of the class discussing the end of the world

he??speak??so??oddly??

"death cometh for thou," like dude okay no need to talk like that???

the only person who actually understands what he says is fyodor, the reigning chess champ in the school

he's also very tired all the time, but he doesn't sleep, he'll just answer a few questions here and there if he's forced to, just to shut up the teacher

does the absolute bare minimum effort to pass class because he thinks it's all useless

"you have great potential, and I'm sure you understand all the material, fyodor, so with just a bit of effort-"

"thank you for the advice."

gets up and leaves 💀

fukuchi is the gym teacher that yells all the time and tells students to do pushups just because he feels like their face is mocking him

everyone either loves his class or dreads it

nikolai is fine, he's not all that athletic but he can run pretty decently and, worst case scenario, he just needs to bug the teacher and get sent to the office again to complete his game of poker with the secretary

fyodor hates gym class

with a burning passion

I CAN'T EVEN ENVISION HIS STICK-LEGS RUNNING PROPERLY SKJGKSJFG

hides under any large object and waits it out

bram is in a wheelchair so he just smugly looks at coach like "haha sucker!", only to be given dumbbells and told to do upper body workouts

now, fyodor and bram are hide-from-gym-class buddies

sigma is in preschool

yk since he's like 3 years old-

CHUBBY CHEEKS

he's so precious unlike all the other toddlers, but he does cry a lot

A LOT

LIKE WAY TOO MUCH

"sigma, you have to share your blocks with our friends, okay?"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

the caretakers still love him tho

BABY SIGMA BABY SIGMA BABY SIGMA BABY SIGMA

hunting dogs

jouno and tecchou are the upperclassmen, which is surprising given how many braincells they share between them

jouno is hands down the pretty popular jock on campus and all the girls FALL TO THEIR KNEES

he does get in trouble every once in a while for bullying people or threatening them, but he has practically seduced the principal at this point, so it's no biggie

tecchou is that one kid who raises their hand in class and gets everything wrong

he's great in gym class, though, seeing as he likes to work out in his spare time

some girls try to approach him while he's doing his own thing and staring at the ground but he's like "wait."

"...wait? for what?"

"the ants"

"...the ants???"

"you were about to step on them."

girls have now stopped trying to approach him

tachihara is the Bad Boy™ with Family Issues™ and Inferiority Complex™

he gets in trouble A LOT

unlike Nikolai, it isn't for harmless questions or disturbing the class, it's for beating up someone else and egging someone's locker and placing a pin on the teacher's chair and-

needless to say, the teachers hate him with a burning passion

he's taking teruko as his apprentice in chaos, given she'd be around two year younger than him

she doesn't get in trouble bc (assuming this is a different school and everything) the gym coach fukuchi defends her in front of the school staff ALL THE TIME since she's his favorite student

she's surprisingly good at most subjects, except...

m a t h 

she screams and throws a full-on tantrum by tossing her math book outside the window then setting it on fire because this girl CANNOT survive variables and constants and graphs and parabolas

fly high, math notebook 😞✊🕊

[molter-writes]

- I see Richard II as an opener, and I’m pouring myself a stiff one because we’re starting by setting the thermostat at insane.

- fuck, the timing of the pregnancy just hit with the “we’ll have to relocate to the palace soon.” The fact that they both decided to have a family before they knew Rhaenyra would be saddled with the crown is really devastating.

- of course baby Daeron has baby silver curls like the widdle renaissance angel he is, of course

- (Married woman, taken woman, wanted woman.)

(Loved woman, cherished woman, someone’s woman.)

Safe woman.

Okay but the way you encapsulate canon Alicent’s deep desire to conform to the kind of doe-eyed womanhood her society expects of her, and at the same time somehow make it wholesome? This should be illegal. It’s definitely some sort of dangerous mind-altering witchcraft. Please never work in government. Or, you know, given the givens, do.

-okay so minor detail but I do love the constant of Rhaenyra’s Home Renovation Antics in The Molterverse™️

-“anything not making intuitive sense to me must be ipso-facto preposterous” okay but the way I HOLLERED, because *yes, absolutely Rhaenyra* but also me, because of course I’m soooo smart 😂🙄

-Secretary of State for Defence, the Rt. Hon. Jason Lannister, Earl of Lincoln.—Well, pack your bags everyone, country’s *fucked*

-I think it’s quite inspired to show how Alicent’s satisfaction at being a *good* caretaker (while of course done out of love and duty both canonically and here) is in large part due to the sense of control and power that she derives from the act. She times the medicine, she presides over Rhaenyra’s recovery, she finally has all of Rhaenyra’s time and attention again in some capacity—and fuck the engagements and country and staff. Possibly in that order.

- Can I say, one of the things I’m really enjoying about this story is the…diegetic? Way you’ve incorporated the news as organism and organization giving voice to The People in counterpoint to the Crown, much like Alicent just wants to go back to being a normal person and Rhaenyra is slowly consumed by the shackles of the throne.

- Her fingers making Michelangelo indents on Rhaenyra’s skin—oh we’re pulling out the art history? We’re bringing out the big guns? It’s going to be like that? Alright. Talk dirty to me.

- “a donkey trot to Valhalla” her poor cervix (she’s loving it), I don’t think I’ve laughed this much at a 5 word sentence IN MY LIFE. Valhalla is correct because I AM BATTLING DEMONS HERE AND THEYRE WINNING

- Also it should go without saying, but sometimes it’s nice to hear it, so: HOT

- OH MY FUCKING GOD, is Alicent totally masterminding the absolute fucking tanking of this fucking tour? WE LOVE TO SEE IT.

- Oh god, the way Rhaenyra just needs Alicent to believe she can be a good Prince of Dragonstone, the way Alicent just needs Rhaenyra to leave it all behind and pay attention only to her and their baby, the way THEYRE THE ONES WHO SHOULD BE GOING TO SPEECH THERAPY BECAUSE THEY CANT FUCKING COMMUNICATE. 🥺😫😤😍😍😍

- “I’m sorry that you still live with bread, Rhaenyra.” Her voice wavers. “Feel want. Taste grief. I don’t find it pathetic at all. I love the mortal bones of you, Rhaenyra.” She opens the door, then, to the light. “But I know how badly you’d wish it otherwise.”

Praying and hoping and begging that Ryan Condal and Sarah Hess read this before season 3. Behold, a perfect thesis statement.

-“He’s done the work for us tonight, hasn’t he,” she croons. “Give him his due.”

fuck Rhaenyra is going to *murder her* when she realizes how beautifully she’s been played.

-Rhaenyra stares back at it. Her lips are wet. “Gods,” she murmurs. Turns it in the light. “That really is a beautiful green.”

Yes drink the poison, Rhaenyra, the poison from your wife, your wife’s poison, bc she loves you so.

-oh my god it was ACTUALLY FUCKING POISON? I was JOKING! I am a god of narrative. Actually, I think that’s you. Holy Jesus mother of fuck.

-“she draws her closer, and sees movement, on the horizon—a van—and tugs her closer, closer still.”

Christ I can see the headlines already, Feckless Princess of Dragonstone feigns ilness to abandon tour, captured frolicking with Princess Consort as thousands die abroad.

-re: headline, ah, well your was more concise!

-I need a 10000 word fic where Daemon chokes on his own blood slowly while everyone and everything he loves, which is very little, mocks and ridicules him. It’s the least he deserves.

-Anyway, to recap the most important thing: RIP Alicent’s Cervix, you have been Witnessed™️

i wish i could mainline these and then post them as the official commentary to the chapter i swear to god it's like you are in my mind

[fallen-gabrielle]

Presidential/White House AU Headcanons compilation

Hello KND fandom! With friends from the discord server, we expanded the fake future from Operation: W.H.I.T.E.H.O.U.S.E. and made it an actual alternate universe/future.

I also decided to write a fanfic about it based on the headcanons we came up with 👀: Wrath of The White House, title suggested by @scarlett-v-the-fox. She also came up with a lot of headcanons about Lizzie's alien specie.

Many things come from the fact that President Uno gives major "I cheat on my wife with my secretary" vibes and we all just rolled with the idea. So yes, in this AU and fic, Adults!Nigel/Kuki is a thing and things get cra-zy between them, so I'm warning you, there will be a lot of adult stuff under the cut, such as freaky physical intimacy. If you don't like it for any reason, don't go further.

There's also a few things I left out from the list, because it would be kind of spoilery for the fic, but with this list you already know where you're getting yourself into, so no big surprises.

I will probably reblog this post when we explore the other characters not so mentioned here, but this is a good base to start.

Ok, are you ready for it? Remember, the following might make you uncomfortable so if you don't want to read it, just keep scrolling.

HEY I WARNED YOU, THERE WILL BE REALLY ADULT THEMED TOPICS, THIS IS MY FINAL WARNING, DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT THINGS YOU DIDN'T WANT TO SEE CUZ I GAVE TWO BIG WARNINGS ABOUT IT! FINAL CHANCE TO TURN BACK!!!

The main things that can be hard to read are: kinks, torture, domestic and child abuse. All of this will be explored in some degrees in the fic.

We good? Okay, here it is then!

President Nigel Uno/Wrath -Won the elections through shady means: bribes, blackmail and other illegal stuff. -He made it possible for him to be President for life -He's in charge of the English mob, who he sent people to do the dirty work -He also has his personal army of demons as henchmen who helped him with the shady means to become president -He has powers, but he hides them very well in the face of the public. -The whole demon lineage is a family secret that he didn't even tell Lizzie. -He is known in the undergrounds as Wrath and you really don't want to piss him off. -His silhouette form is the classic pitch black suit, he has claws and a dragon tail, as well as straight horns on his forehead. His hair is messy in this form as well. -He's an asshole. He cares more about his hair than his heir (plz laugh at this) -He had many love affairs but only a few were consistant (a lot of one night stand). He only had one kid out of it with Rachel. -He uses a lot of hair gel. When he doesn't, his hair are messy just like his son's (they basically have the same haircut if not combed)

Nigel and Kuki (that's where the freaky bed stuff is, guys) -They fuck in secret but some people know what's going on. -They get crazy in the sack, with a shit tons of kinks. -Seriously, they try stuff in the bedroom, they're really creative. Tickling that Nigel actually enjoyed, Kuki liking having her hair pulled a little bit. They both bite and love it. -Their kinks involve leather, chains and extreme role plays (she has a collar with his name on it) -Technically they're switches, they take turns on who's the dominant one, but Nigel secretely likes being the sub in their relationship bc he gets a break from being in charge, and he gets praised. He can't hear "good boy" without blushing. -They can't go to specialized clubs because they can be regognized so they do it in private places -They have a code in little gestures to warn the other when they want each other. When she fixes his ties for exemple. -Their relationship is purely physical intimacy, there is no romantic emotion between them. -Outside of the bedroom, and off duty, they're just friends. -After the act, Nigel and Kuki share some fluff moment, where they simply like the presence of each other and like to snuggle. -She is serious, strict and stern as the secretary but in private with Nigel she loosens up and is a real tigress in bed. -"I will work late tonight honey" => is actually with Kuki -In the morning, Kuki likes to exchange her glasses with his just for fun, but one time they actually had to rush to get out and still had the wrong glasses on their faces. For those who didn't already know about them, that's how they learned what's going on -Kuki always travels with him on his trips

Nigel and Rachel (plus her family) -He had an affair with her during the early years of his marriage with Lizzie. -They're still in love even to this day -They had a daughter together named Lucy, 14 years old -Nigel loves his daughter very much, she's his little princess -He clearly has a favorite, and it's his daughter -They've been keeping their love affair a secret from everyone, mostly -Rachel is also hiding her daughter from most people's knolwedge -Rachel ended her relationship with Nigel and put an end to his secret visits to his daughter because things got sus and Nigel was also starting to change as he became greedier and lusted for more powers. He wasn't the man she fell in love with anymore. -Nigel sends her money to support their daughter but Rachel never accepted the money as it comes from corrupted/dirty money. -Rachel is the head of national security -She knows all the hacking tricks in the book. She can bypass a n y t h i n g -Harvey knows about the secret child and absolutely despises Nigel (and so does he)

Nigel and Lizzie -Lizzie is the same overbearing and annoying person as ever -Lizzie suspects that Nigel has an affair with Kuki Sanban. -She has no clue about Rachel and the illegitimate daughter. But when she learns that fact, all hell will break loose -She will especially be super mad that Nigel got a daughter with another woman and she didn't. -When she does get a confirmation about Kuki, she has to keep it down because the scandal would be too much to handle. Also, Nigel would be worse to her if she throws fits. -She doesn't know the extent of what Nigel is doing with Kuki, just that he's cheating on her with the secretary -When they do get intimate, it's the most boring stuff ever. -Nigel absolutely doesn't know she's an alien. When he finds out, he sends her to Area 51 -He will torture her to know why she was sent to earth

Nigel and his parents/relatives -Actually the only people he's not a complete douchbag to. -He really loves his parents and they love him too. He just never has the time to visit them as much as he would want to. -But they still never approved of Lizzie. They hate her. -Mrs Uno occasionally mentions divorce to her son so that Nigel would someday click and dump Lizzie -Nigel is also close to his uncle Benedict. He taught his nephew how to use his powers when he got them in his 20s.

Nigel and Shirley -They have a very cold relationship -Nigel doesn't care much for his son's existence except when it comes to his own image -Nigel is more neglectful towards his son than he is verbally or physically abusive towards him -Nigel insists on his son being proper all the time. -He combs his son's hair whenever he thinks it's not perfect -When Shirley gets his alien genes activated and apparent, Nigel absolutely hates it and cuts them off violently. -He always scolds Shirley for being ‘too noisy/agitated’ when they visit his parents because they’re old people so therefore they mustn’t be rushed. But Monty and Margaret really don’t mind their grandson for doing what a kid is supposed to do. -Shirley doesn't know his dad has affairs and just thinks he's always busy on business trip and extended meetings. -Viggo finding dogs’ collars in his dad’s stuff: "wait, he secretly has a dog? And he always refused that I get one myself !!!" Poor boy doesn't know what this really means

Shirley/Viggo -He's part human/demon and uvinea (alien part) -He doesn't know his true lineage on either side (yet) -At some point, he will start having flowers growing on his head -His vines can be torn apart and it hurts, but they will grow back -He doesn't know anything about his father's infidelity drama, including his older half sister -He really despises his dad in general -He admires Numbuh 1, whom he doesn't actually know that's his dad -I let you imagine the shock when he'll find out the truth xD -Leopold Lincoln/Numbuh 5'000 is his best friend -Shirley spends some times at the Lincolns', because Leo's dad is so much nicer than his own and wishes to have a dad like Leo's -Despite how dysfunctional his family is, Shirley still hopes that one day they could be a "normal family". -He loves his grandparents a lot (who doesn't tbh) -Nigel and Lizzie fight a lot for small things as well as the bigger ones (Nigel’s cheating for exemple) and it’s too much for Shirley so he goes to his grandparents’ place to have some calm and wholesomeness or sometimes to the Lincolns' -He hates the cold

Fanny & Patton plus friends -They're married and have a daughter -Her name is Sheila and her codename is Numbuh 860, soopreme leader -Patton is in the army but doesn't have a high position -He has to put up with Wally's bs all the time -He's away from home a lot -Fanny, as head of Nigel's security guards, records the shenanigans between the President and his Secretary and keeps the tapes as off-brand for herself. -She's actually supposed to delete anything scandalous about the President but eh, she sometimes blackmails Nigel with it. -She sometimes watches it with her colleague Chad and her husband when he gets back home -They all treat it like it's a fictional tv drama show -Therefore, they know all the dirty little secrets the President Uno has in the sack -She gossips about everything going on in the White House with her colleagues but makes sure nothing get out really (her boss is Nigel, remember) -Fanny actually does know about the Nigel/Rachel affair, because she is friend with Rachel -Fanny talks Rachel into watching the tapes. Rachel reluctantly agrees, and she's speechless until she mutters over halfway in, "Why couldn't we do any of that stuff? Damn."

Abigail Lincoln -Married to Maurice, he took her last name. -She was arrested under false accusations/She tried to organize a coup against his administration and failed -Nigel tortures her to get info from her (mostly about the knd) -She lost her right eye during one torture session -She was never decomissioned as she was tasked as a teenager and later as an adult to look after Nigel. Obviously she failed. -She is constantly tormenting herself about the fact she wasn't able to save Nigel -She was also part of Nigel's administration and she refused to help him in his corruption

Leopold/Numbuh 5'000 -His dad is Maurice -He's Shirley's best friend and always calls him by his nickname Viggo -He doesn't freak out nor is scared of his friend when he gets his powers -He kinda fanboys about it, actually, which makes Viggo cringe a few times -He writes and collect letters from the family for his mom. -He sneaks into the prison to bring her the letters and pastries his dad baked for his wife -He has to make his visits more sparce to avoid getting caught -“Dad misses you” “Dad brought you this” “Dad is working on your case” -He failed to protect his mom from being jailed and feels really guilty about it -He's a brave kid, but he still cries late at night for his mother. -His aunt Cree also helped raising him while Abby is imprisoned

[xoxoavenger]

Hi!! Can you please write Jack Thompson x female reader? Reader is a black widow who switched sides during the war and continues working with the SSR but Jack doesn’t know her history so he doesn’t take her seriously as an agent and treats her like a secretary. Then one day a group who they’re investigating breaks into the SSR office bc they need information so they take everyone hostage to get it. They are threatening all the agents then start threatening reader which causes Jack to get angry and protective. But then reader fights off all the enemy group and capture them. Jack and the rest of the office are super shocked, then you can decide how the story goes from there. Thank you!!!

ahhh I loved this one! thanks for requesting!

Handle

pairing: Jack Thompson x Fem!Reader

word count: 2887

warnings: canon typical violence

12 Days of Christmas masterlist main masterlist

Sometimes, Y/N wishes she could live in one day.

The day she would pick would be the singular day she had in New York after escaping the Red Room, where she toured the city and for the first time in her life felt like a normal human. She had gone to a play, gotten a coffee, sat in Central Park and watched people taking their dogs for a walk. It was the best day of her life, no question about it.

"L/N! Here's the paperwork from the most recent closed case, it needs to be filed. Also, I think I'm feeling sandwiches for lunch, if you could get that started." Jack Thompson's grating voice reaches her ears, and Y/N has to close her eyes and take a deep breath to avoid grabbing his arm and dislocating it. He drops the folders on her desk, and she stares at her desk as she tries to rearrange her face into one that won't get her written up.

"Thompson," She blows out the breath, and then turns to him. "For the final time, I am not a secretary. If you would like someone to get you lunch and file your papers, perhaps you should ask an actual secretary, or even a lower ranking agent. But I have work to do, so get your own lunch and file your own papers." She picks up the folders and pushes them against his chest, and he narrows his eyes.

"I was unaware there were lower ranking agents." He tells her, and all she can do is blink at him.

"Perhaps you should learn more about the company you work for then." She simply says, then goes back to the work she was doing. She wishes she could do field work, but part of the deal she made with the SSR when they got her the job was that there would be no field work for her. She was not to give any indication at all that she was once a Black Widow, and being insanely well trained in combat would be a dead giveaway. Her file officially says she had an injury years ago that impacts her mobility.

"I want to applause." Peggy says from her desk, which of course is right next to Y/N's. Y/N is secretly jealous of the only other female in the office, because even though it's not often, she can at least go on field missions. Peggy is able to push and fight for herself, where Y/N has to pick and chose her battles even more than regular women.

Plus, Y/N knows Peggy has kissed Captain America, and Y/N would give anything to have done that.

"I'm sure that would just make steam come out of his ears." She tells her roomate; of course, the SSR had put the only two women in the same complex. Y/N didn't mind; it was nice to have one friend, and Peggy was a great one.

"I would pay to see that." Peggy tells her, making Y/N chuckle lightly.

"Are you girls going to jabber all day, or are you going to actually get to work?" Jack asks from across the office. Seems he's still peeved about what Y/N said. She breathes deeply once more, knowing she can't say anything back. This is how her life has to be, because of her past that she didn't even chose.

"Well, Jack, if you wanted to join that bad, you can just say." Peggy says back, and Y/N smiles. The two look at each other and share a soft look before getting back to work.

Y/N can't help the small voice in the back of her head that hopes something fun happens in the office, just so she doesn't die of boredom.

~

Despite knowing the voice was there, she never actually wanted this to happen. She almost feels responsible when it does, frowning at the agents who are actually high clearance secretaries.

It had been a normal day. Y/N and Peggy had gotten up and gotten ready, Y/N making breakfast that morning for the two of them. They walked to the office together, and sat at their desks as if it were a normal day.

And then the mafia that the office had been investigating broke into the office, guns held up. Y/N's eyes widened, and her heart started to race; not with fear, but with adrenaline of knowing what to do. She had been waiting for this.

"Nobody move." The man in the front said into the silence. Everyone was frozen, and Y/N was trying to wipe the smile off her face. She would wait for the right time, obviously, but she knew a lot about this mafia. She was sure they wouldn't actually kill any of the agents - they didn't want to draw that kind of attention to themselves. They were here for their files. They wanted to scare the SSR into not investigating them.

"Follow me," One of the men on the side said with a smirk.

"Anyone tries anything funny, you're getting a bullet." The main guy said. Y/N looked over at Peggy as they stood. Peggy looked a little worried, but not as much as some of the agents, who were close to soiling their pants.

"We have to do something." Peggy whispers as everyone files out of the desks and starts to walk down the hallway.

"I have a plan." Y/N tells her softly, walking into the interrogation room.

"You do?" Peggy basically mouths it, not wanting it to be heard over the squeaks of shoes.

"The beginnings of one." Y/N said quietly as she smirks and sits.

"No talking." The man points his gun at Y/N, and she briefly grapples with looking scared before she just decides on a neutral face. She knows they won't shoot her, at least not in a fatal place, and she's taken bullets before. The leader takes Chief Dooley, leaving the rest of the office in the interrogation room with only two guys. The rest were in the halls and looking for other files that they would be destroying. Y/N was waiting for this; she could take these guys, then work her way to the main office. Once she got one of their guns, it wouldn't be too difficult. She just needed to make sure that none of her coworkers got hurt.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Jack grabs her arm as she shifts to stand, and she can't help but turn and give him a murderous look. She hadn't even realized he was right next to her.

"Trying to save our asses!" She whispers, shaking off his arm.

"What's so interesting over here?" One of the men asks, swiping their gun across to where Jack and Y/N are sitting. Neither of them speak, and Y/N tries to sit back down without making it too obvious that she was about to overtake them.

"Nothing." Jack says quietly, hands out placatingly.

"Seems like something, since you two can't shut the fuck up." The man cocked his head, and Y/N grit her teeth. She knew she'd have to catch them off guard, and she couldn't risk Jack trying to grab her. "You have such a pretty mouth. Too bad you don't know how to use it." He kneels down, and she just blinks at him.

This clearly upsets him.

"Ya know," He grabs her face, and she tries not to flinch. "You could put that mouth to good use. I could teach you." He's smirking, and she resists the urge to roll her eyes. If she can just hold out, she can get rid of him in a few short minutes.

"It was my fault." Jack says, and this causes' Y/N's eyes to widen. She can't turn to look at him due to the hand on her chin, but she wants to hit him. Why is he talking right now?

"I don't think I asked you." The man growls, tilting his head but not letting go of Y/N's chin. His grip does loosen slightly, but Y/N needs to see where the other man is before she starts her plan.

"If you're gonna punish anyone, you should punish me." Jack starts to stand, sticking his neck out - literally - and moving toward Y/N and the man in front of her.

"Okay, tough guy," The man lets go of her, and she's confused for a moment at why Jack is doing this for her. He's protecting her. "You wanna take the blame?" He doesn't look like he's just going to grab Jack's jaw.

"What are you doing?" Y/N whispers, heart dropping. She has to do something, because the mobster is grabbing for his gun. She doesn't have time to make sure the other one doesn't have his out, or plan the best attack, because all she sees now is Jack being shot by this man when she could have prevented it.

Y/N shoots up, kicking the man's gun out of his hand before he knows what's going on and using the inertia to punch him in the face - hard. The other one turns, and she doesn't get to him before he fires his gun; luckily, she hits his arm with her own forearm to point it toward the ground, before she kicks her leg up and uses the momentum to flip herself, and consequently the mobster, over. Knee to his throat, she uses all of her might to bring down her elbow on his forehead, ricochetting his head against the concrete floor. The other mobster has gotten over his initial shock and comes at her, but she grabs his arm before he can hit her and dodges the immediate next punch. She twists his arm behind his back, a heeled foot kicking him to the ground. She puts all her weight on that foot while she grabs the heel off her other shoe, then uses the flat toe bottom to knock him once, twice, three times, until he finally closes his eyes again.

She's breathing a little heavily, not having done that in awhile, but she's barely breaking a sweat as she steps off the man's back and slips her other heel back on. They're not the easiest thing to fight in, but she's fought in worse and it's better than being barefoot.

"What the fuck was that?" Jack breaks the silence in the room, and Y/N turns to see him and Peggy sitting wide eyed.

"Extra training." She says simply, going to the door. "You guys need to stay here. I'll come back when it's clear." She tells them all, and Jack stands quickly.

"By yourself? What are you thinking?" He walks over to her, and she blinks at him.

"I'm sorry, did you not see what I just did? I took those two men down by myself." She tells him, crossing her arms.

"There are at least five more out there. Let me help you." Jack grabs both of the guns on the ground, handing one to Y/N. She stares at it, because she had totally forgotten about grabbing it and she knows she needs it if she's going to face the others, with or without Jack.

"Fine." She grabs the gun, looking up at him. "But you follow me. Not the other way around. Got it, Thompson?" She asks, and to her surprise he nods. She blinks, then nods to herself. Before she can turn, Peggy is getting up and running over, pulling a gun out of her handbag.

"You didn't think you'd do this without me, did you?" She smirked, and Y/N smiled. These guys wouldn't know what hit them.

That ended up being more true than Y/N thought. With three of them, they took care of the hallway men (usually without using their guns so there wasn't attention drawn to them) but one unfortunate soul got shot in the leg by Peggy before he was knocked out by Y/N. By the time they got to the main man who was having Chief Dooley grab every file on the mob from their cabinets, everyone else had been taken care of.

"Put the gun down." Y/N ordered, gun up as she entered the bullpen. Peggy and Jack were on both sides of her, guns up as well. The mobster didn't look too nervous, however, and Y/N just couldn't have this. "You think I'm joking?" She asked, aiming just slightly to the left. The bullet went into the wall next to his head, and she was sure he could hear the air as it wizzed past him. "Put it down." She trained her gun back on his head, and he looked much more scared now. Good.

"You're going to regret this." He said with a low chuckle, and Y/N just smiled.

"I don't think we are." She answered, gun never leaving his head. "Chief Dooley, why don't you make a call for us."

~

"How do you really know how to do that?" Jack asked. They were at a low-key bar downtown, Jack's treat for her saving everyone's asses. When he had asked her for just one drink after everything was cleaned up, she couldn't resist. She knew Jack was a point of annoyance in her days, but she wanted to know why he treated her like that, and if he would continue treating her like that after this.

"I had a life before the SSR." She tells him with a small smirk, taking a sip of her drink. She had gone home and changed into a warmer dress and flats, but it seems Jack hadn't gone home; he still had his work briefcase when he met Y/N outside.

"Right," He gave a chuckle, and with all Y/N's training, she knew what he was about to say suddenly.

"You know," She whispers, heart dropping. She didn't want to leave this life, leave this city and Peggy and all the other friends she had made. He hadn't gone home because he had been researching her, somehow getting clearance for her files.

"That you were a Black Widow?" He says it quietly and nonchalantly, and she wondered what game he was playing at. "I didn't think the Red Room was even real." He tells her, and she suddenly wants to hit him.

"Is that why you asked me here? To tell me you know all about my past so I'll have to move?" She asks, pushing her drink away so she doesn't pour it on him.

"What?" He looks genuinely surprised at this, and she tries not to let shock overtake her. "No, I'm not going to tell anyone. Why would I want you to leave?" The way he asks the question makes her angry, even though she knows it shouldn't.

"You treat me like a secretary." It takes everything in her to not yell it at him. "It's clear you don't respect me."

"I'm sorry," He says honestly, and she can't believe he actually just apologized to her. "I didn't mean to make you feel like that. I just - I treated you like that because I didn't want you getting hurt. I didn't know that you wouldn't be able to go on field missions, and I thought that I could somehow keep that from happening if you were always busy. It was a stupid plan, I know, which is why I'm so sorry,"

"Why would you care?" She cuts him off, confused by everything he's said.

"I thought it was obvious," He gives her a smile, one that doesn't quite meet his eyes due to his nervousness. "I care for you. A lot. More than I should." He admits, and she lets her jaw drop at this.

"Jack," It's all she can think of to say.

"I know, I was an idiot. Even more so, seeing how capable you are of defending yourself. But I've lost a lot in this life, and I just couldn't bear the thought of losing you. Even if you weren't mine." He says it so softly, it mends something Y/N didn't even know what broken in her heart. "This was stupid. I'm stupid. I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to move, I'll get a transfer." Jack has already grabbed his jacket and briefcase before words return to her.

"Jack!" She calls when he's already across the bar. He stops and turns, and she runs over to him, heart racing. "You're not stupid. You didn't have a great plan, but that doesn't make you stupid. And I certainly don't want you to leave." She tells him, and now it's his turn to blink in silence as the words clatter around in his brain. "It's sweet that you care. And I don't want you to transfer. If you leave, how would we be able to see where this goes?" She asks quietly, putting on of her hands on his arm and keeping her eyes there. For some reason, even though he already laid his heart bare, she's scared of what he's thinking. But then he grabs her chin, much gentler than the mobster, and tilts it towards him. A shiver runs through her at all the emotion pouring out of his eyes.

"I'm going to kiss you now." He tells her, and she just nods, closing her eyes and letting Jack Thompson kiss her in the middle of this bar.

It's the best kiss she's ever had. 

//

tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187  @one-sweet-gubler @theoraekenslover @thefandomplace @mcueveryday @icequeen1371 @kenzi-woycehoski @multifandom-boss-bitch