#the only fucking reason I went home was because I wanted to see my brother and because my mom kept talking about how much she wanted me to

[brain-damage-culture]

So, this. I was homeschooled, and I will say. I did meet people who had legitimate reasons that homeschooling was better for them. Many had been in public school and were severely bullied, most due to disabilities. I myself was bullied relentlessly and my mom cites that as her reason for pulling me and my siblings out of school. (She was also enamored with the idea of downsizing into a trailer and traveling the country. Yes, with a newborn baby, two audhd kids, a dog, and her crumbling marriage) Here's how that went:

The thing is, I didn't stop being bullied when I was pulled out, I just didn't have any escape from the bullying happening in my home. I went from having a small group of friends and acquaintances and teachers to talk with to only my abusive mother, absent father, struggling little brother, and the baby I was raising in place of my mom. (She slept in the same bed as me for the first 6 years, I fed, bathed, changed, and entertained her)

Occasionally, we would fall in with homeschooling co-ops, but inevitably, drama would happen, and I learned not to get attached. I don't think I could name one single person I met during that time period if you held a gun to my head. The whole traveling the country thing didn't work out, and we went from having a house to camping or renting in small spaces. I was 12 when I started homeschooling, and I stayed at a 5th grade education level for the most part until I was 16. My mom soon stopped having any interest or ability to teach me, so I mostly just read and fucked around all day. It was boring and frustrating, I didn't have consistent access to the internet, and I fought with my family all the time.

My state doesn't require homeschoolers to submit a report card or have the children see a counselor once a year, or really anything. In 2015, my mom gave up on educating me and put me in a dual enrollment program at a community college for high schoolers, and that was what got me finally to something approaching my peers on an education level. It also finally put me in contact with adults who cared about me and wanted me to succeed, professors who checked on my progress and listened to my concerns. A library with an internet connection and nobody watching what books I was reading.

That school saved my life, and I don't say that lightly.

In 2017, a fellow homeschooler in my state was not so lucky. Matthew Tirado was a 17 year old nonverbal autistic kid who was enrolled in public school. His parents were repeatedly reported for child abuse, especially by his sister, until they took his sister out of school completely. Two months later, Matthew died. His sister didn't have any way of contacting outside help anymore, and her brother died because their parents knew that nobody could speak up for him any more.

I remember everyone else's horror, and outrage, and I remember my mom. The woman who had abused me when she knew I had nobody to go. She was scared. Because she still had my younger siblings, and she did not want to face consequences. So many homeschooling parents in my state did the same, and they fought hard to defend their right to abuse their kids. And they won.

To this day, in my state 36% of parents who pulled their child from public school in order to homeschool them did so *after* a Department of Child and Family Services (DCF) investigation revealed that they were abusing their children. That's more than one fourth. Once a child is pulled out of school in my state, there are no requirements accommodations, no therapy, no supports, and no accountability. Homeschool parents willfully practice 'unschooling' or buy curriculums from shady organizations that purport to provide an education that will turn their children into whatever parents want them to be.

Public schools aren't great. We all know this. Neither are private schools, in a different, equally fucked way. But homeschooling with no checks or balances, nobody even making sure the kids are still alive after they're out of the system? It's a level of nightmare I dearly wish nobody had to experience. And I got off so lightly.

Anyway enough lame gifted kid discourse we are in our 20s. Let's talk about how homeschooling in america should be fucking illegal it's insane lol

[sidras-tak]

Accessibility takes too goddamn fucking long.

My brother was paralyzed in October 2023. We got him home from the hospital (in Texas, when we live in Iowa) in a clunky old hospital chair. He hated it. He was scared and angry and in pain and his life had just changed forever and he couldn’t do anything for himself in that wheelchair. His first goal (aside from learning how to transfer) was to get a wheelchair. My family was lucky enough to afford one so we thought it would be easy enough. Nope.

We couldn’t buy him a wheelchair. He needed a prescription. For a wheelchair. A doctor had to examine him and declare him in need of a wheelchair. It wasn’t good enough that he had scans and tests showing tumors cutting off his spinal cord. He needed his primary care doctor to examine him during a physical and write a prescription. He was making 2-4 transfers a day, tops. He had no energy to get to a doctor. Home health was in and out every day. He had no time to get to a doctor. He didn’t get a prescription for almost a month. Then it had to go through insurance.

We asked if we could skip insurance and just buy a wheelchair for him. Nope. They wouldn’t sell us one, not even at full sticker price. It needed to be approved by Medicare. We ordered a wheelchair, a nice one, a good shade of green, sporty, small. It would let him move around the house. He would be able to cook, to reach drawers and get stuff from the fridge and brush his teeth and put his contacts in at a sink. We were told it would take awhile, maybe two months. Silently we all hoped he would be around to see two more months.

He went on hospice care on a Saturday in March. On Monday, I was calling his friends to come see him before he died. I got a call on his phone. It was the wheelchair company. They were about to order his wheelchair, she said, but there was an issue with insurance— had he stopped being covered by Medicare? Well, yes. When he started hospice care, he got kicked off Medicare. The very nice woman I talked to told me to call her if he resumed Medicare coverage so she could order his wheelchair. He died less than 12 hours later.

We ordered that chair for him in early December. Medicare didn’t approve the order until March. He was dead before they got around to it. He wanted that fucking wheelchair so badly. The only reason he had any semblance of independence and any quality of life for the last five months of his life was because the wheelchair company lent him an old beater chair, a very used model of the chair he ordered. If I could go back and change one thing about his end-of-life, I would get him his dream wheelchair. He told me again and again he couldn’t wait to get it, so that he could feel like a person again. He made the best of what he had with that old beater chair, but it still makes me mad to this day. He was paralyzed. He needed a chair that afforded him dignity. We had the money for it. And yet, we were left waiting for five months, for a chair that wouldn’t even get ordered until the day he died.

[pinkynana]

am i the asshole? (most likely, yes)

a series where either you or the member does something morally wrong for an unjustified reason. all seven stories are in its own universe so they are not connected in any way. the order of the fics being published are random, not in age order. this may or may not take awhile.

mark - aita for immediately going to comfort my best friend's ex after they broke up so we could link up?

Since the very first time mark saw you, he knew he had to have you. The only problem was that you were introduced as Johnny’s girlfriend to him. Which is why when johnny texted him that the relationship was over, he immediately sprinted to your apartment so he could play the good guy who’s lending a shoulder to lean on while you cried your eyes out. He had it all planned out.

read here

renjun - aita for being possessive about my childhood best friend’s virginity?

It has been awhile since you last met Renjun. Perhaps your last encounter was right after graduation. You recently came back to your old neighborhood, having drinks with your favorite childhood best friend. And it slipped out of you that you had never had sex, despite a whole semester in college. Renjun took that as an invitation. Afterall, you experienced every one of your firsts with Renjun.

read here

jeno - aita for seducing my step brother because i got jealous that he got a girlfriend?

It’s been a year since your parents got married and you were officially Lee Jeno’s step sister. Despite living under the same roof, you never really seriously connected with him and it’s all because of your huge crush on him. You didn’t want Jeno to see you as a family member, so you kept your distance. Until he brought home a girl and something inside you just burns at the thought of him sleeping with her.

read here

haechan - aita for fucking my girlfriend while my webcam was still on so my friends could watch?

Haechan always showed you off to his friends and you didn’t mind it at all. You find it hot anyway. What you didn’t know was the fact that he also always showed your body off to them too. All the times you had recorded your sexy times, all went into Haechan’s friends’ folders.

read here

jaemin - aita for only agreeing to be friends with benefits with him so i could play with his cats?

You partnered up with Jaemin by chance, not knowing that he was a father to three adorable cats. And to say that you’re a cat person was an understatement. Since then, you always came over to Jaemin’s apartment which resulted in you being under him at some point. If you were saying frankly, you didn’t give a fuck about the sex. All you think about everytime you were there were luna, lucy and luke.

read here

chenle - aita for hooking up with a random man i met at the club while i was in a fight with my boyfriend?

Your boyfriend always told you that he hated girls at the club, saying that they were easier than prostitutes and such. Which drove you to the decision to go to a club after your hundredth fight with him, just to provoke him. It was never your intention to be in another man’s arms that night.

read here

jisung - aita for not deleting the nudes that my best friend accidentally sent me?

Jisung knew about your situationship that’s been going on for about five months. He doesn’t know the details, though. Truth be told, it’s embarrassing to admit to him that your situationship barely ever pays attention to you lately. So you decided to take it up a notch by sending him nudes. Which then you only realized 20 minutes later that you sent it to Jisung by mistake.

read here

[papaya-twinks]

Can you do one with lando. He’s kind of been cold to y/n, thinking about breaking up (for some reason you can make up) and giving her silent treatment to kind of push her away. It’s only after they break up that she realizes that she’s pregnant and she’s unsure if she wants to tell Lando or not. she ends up running into Lando’s mom at the dr office and she ends up telling her that she’s pregnant. Ending however you want

Warnings: Angst, depression, anxiety, pregnancy, cheating

Pairing: Lando Norris x fem!reader

Summary: Mixed with this:

A/N - Chat this is how my oldest brother was born FUN FACT also I’m using Lando’s sister, not mum.

You’d been feeling like utter shit ever since the Miami Grand Prix - but you’d chosen to keep it out the way, especially from your boyfriend, who still hadn’t come down from the joy of his victory. You weren’t annoyed about it, no way, that was exactly why you didn’t tell him. You didn’t want to ruin his celebrations for him, but you didn’t expect him to hold that AGAINST you. Surely he’d see you as a good girlfriend for it?

“Going out,” he said, it had been three days since his win, and he hadn’t stayed a single night with you. “Again?” you asked, sitting in the bed, wincing as you shuffled a bit. “Well you don’t want to,” he shrugged, ignoring your start to tell him otherwise and walking out. You jumped slightly at the sound of the door slamming before you sighed. He’d been cold with you the second he’d come home from the race and you’d said he could ‘party with his friends, if he wanted to’.

Maybe he wanted you to be there, sure, but still. You didn’t mean for him to give you the cold shoulder. You were woken up hours later by the sound of the door slamming and…a girl? She was giggling, mumbling something along the lines of, ‘Lando, please’. Your eyes widened but you said nothing, listening as Lando went into the guest bedroom, the ‘girl’ following him as she giggled. Did he even realise what he was doing? He was drunk, sure…was he about to cheat?

You didn’t have the heart to stop him, trying to block out the sound of the headrest hitting the wall and her annoying, shrieky moans. In the end, you plugged your headphones in and played the music as loud as you could. Wow. “Morning,” your boyfriend grumbled coldly as he walked into the kitchen. The girl must have gone home sometime during the night, because she was nowhere to be seen. “Have fun?” you asked, sipping on your tea. “At the party?” he asked. “Sounded like more fun at home,” you shrugged, looking away.

“Okay, Y/N, what the fuck does that mean?” Lando said, shoulders raised. “Why are you getting defensive?” you asked, putting the mug down as you turned back to him. “Fuck you,” he spat, scoffing as you frowned a bit. Harsh. “I’m done with you, Y/N,” he pushed your mug away, caging you in with his arms to the counter, “I’m done with us,”. You’d expected many different outcomes from your comment - but him dumping you? Not one of them. He walked away, leaving you with your thoughts as tears clouded your eyes.

“Be out by 10,” he yelled from upstairs. You coughed, your illness fading back to you as you flinched at his tone of voice. Ouch. So you did that, moving into a small hotel room for a few days, your illness getting worse and worse with the stress and anxiety, your eyes red, lip blue and body shaking. “Go to the doctors, Y/N,” your friend said sympathetically over the phone as you sighed. “Fine,”. You arrived at the small clinic, seeing a nice nurse waiting for you.

“Y/N, right?” she smiled gently. You nodded. “Tummy aches and a cough, is that it?” she asked, leading you to a chair. “Head hurts a lot too,” you mumbled. “Is it okay if I take your temperature and ask you to do a few tests?” she asked, to which you nodded. She gave a lot of tests. But of all of them, you didn’t expect the one to be positive. The pregnancy test. “Oh, hi, Y/N,” a voice said brightly behind you, making you jump and clutch the test to your chest.

“Hi Cisca,” you mumbled. You guessed Lando hadn’t told her. “What’s that ya got there?” she chirped, smiley and nice as usual. “Nothing,” you said, far too quickly. “Y/N, are you alright? Your eyes are all red,” she said slowly stepping forwards. “Just ill,” you said. “No, you’ve been crying,” she frowned. “Y/N, did my brother do something?” she asked, taking your hand as you tried to stop shaking.

“I just…” you trailed off before the nurse left, leaving you two together, as you explained to her. “And now?” she asked, eyes wide at what Lando had done. “And this,” you showed her the test. “You’re pregnant?” her jaw dropped. You nodded. “Oh sweetheart,” she hugged you softly as your tears poured out, head buried in her shoulder. “Cisca, it doesn’t take a fucking decade to- Y/N?” a familiar voice said, making you jump. Lando.

“Fuck you, Lando,” Cisca snapped at him as he raised an eyebrow. “What bullshit has she made up?” he asked, looking at you, unimpressed. “Made up?” his sister scoffed. “Don’t, please,” you gripped her hand as she groaned. “He’s a been a right dick, though,” she huffed, frowning a bit. “He needs to know,” she added. You sighed, still holding her hand slightly. “I don’t want him back,” you said softly, as she nodded.

“Tell him anyways,” she said, frowning at her brother. “Tell me what, exactly?” Lando said, crossing his arms. Slowly, you stepped forwards, pushing the test into his hand. “What, you got STDs? Who d’you sleep with this time?” he snorted, not even looking at the test. “Very funny, Lando. Now stop running your mouth and look,” Cisca pulled you back. “What the fuck is this?” the Brit demanded to you as you turned away. “Oh fuck, slipper my mind,” his sister said haughtily, “she’s pregnant,”.

“Who’s the father?” Lando demanded. “What?” you asked, eyes wide. “You, obviously? Because unlike you, I don’t go around sleeping with other people when my significant other is in the other room,”. Lando rolled his eyes. “A simple misunderstanding. Was drunk, thought she was you. You look the same as every girl. Basic and simple,” he shrugged as you turned, tears welling again. “Don’t EVEN,” Cisca snapped, pulling your hand.

You ended up staying with his sister for a few weeks, which led to months, and eventually, a year. Your bond with her had been strong before, but now? Stronger than ever. She helped support you and your beautiful baby girl, Cherrii, til she turned 1 years old. You loved her so, so much, but she was almost like a painful reminder of Lando, with soft brunette curls, wide green eyes, and his nose and face shape.

It was almost like he’d done the whole tango thing himself. Lamdo had cut off all ties with his sister too, so as to avoid you before suddenly, on a random day, the doorbell rang. And you expected a parcel or something, as you sat in the lounge, playing with your daughter and her pretend dolls, when a shout came from the door, from Cisca. “What are YOU doing her?” she yelled. “Baby, I’ll be back, okay?” you said to your daughter, kissing her cheek before peering round the door.

Lando.

He looked so much more…different. He had a beard, for fucks’ sake. “Y/N?” he saw you round the door as you pulled back. You weren’t ready for him. You gasped as an incoherent babble made you look down, seeing your daughter waddling towards Cisca. “Cherrii,” you frowned, lifting her into your arms as she pouted slightly, her curls bouncing. “Is that..?” Lando asked, eyes wide at the girl. “It doesn’t matter, you,” Cisca pointed her finger in his face accusingly.

“I just…Y/N, I…she’s beautiful,” he began, gesturing to the girl as she turned to him. “Who he?” she said, frowning a bit. “Doesn’t matter, baby,” you shook your head. “Eyes,” she said, pointing at him, then her. The resemblance was uncanny. You frowned putting her down and shutting the door before standing behind Cisca. “What do you want?” she demanded. “I just…I made a big mistake,” he said weakly. “No shit,” Cisca said sarcastically. “Cisca,” you held your hand up. “Took a while to realise it,”.

“Cherrii? That her name?” Lando asked, to which you added. “Pretty. Like you,” he said. “Thought I was ‘boring and simple’,” you said, the words still stung to this day. “Y/N, please, I need you back,” he said, almost begging now as you turned your head, “and Cherry, she…” he trailed off, but you knew of his implications. “See her,” you said simply. “I don’t care for you. I don’t want my baby growing up without her dad,” you said coldly. “Thank you,” he said, following you into the room.

“Cher,” you smiled at the girl as she grinned toothily - Lando’s smile. “This is…your dad,” you almost sighed. “Daddy!” she clapped her hands, reaching them up so Lando could pick her up. “Hey princess,” he gave her the same smile, “look at you,” he held her up as she giggled, making you turn away from the sight. You did miss Lando. But he’d need to prove he wanted you back, and not just your daughter, who you’d spent your time and effort raising.

“Y/N,” Lando said, planting his hand on your waist. “Please,” he said, one last time, before pressing his lips to yours. “Don’t get ahead of yourself,” you huffed, pulling your daughter back. “You have a year to make up for,”.

[teencopandthesourwolf]

He freezes. Doesn't know what the hell else to do. 

He can't picture it: Derek can't remember the last time somebody put their arms around him. 

Was it Laura?

Of course it was Laura. How could he forget that? Derek has gotten pretty good at blocking things out—a little too good, it seems.

She didn't tell him anything before leaving New York. Didn't say a fucking word, just up and vanished. Derek had woken up one morning and she was gone, because she'd known without a shadow of a doubt that Derek would've only followed her if she'd have said a single word to him.

Nobody ever granted Derek’s wishes, no matter who he prayed to. Those desperate pleas where he asked to go back and get a chance to fix things, they all went unheard.

Laura left to go back to the place they both wished still existed just as it had; a place they were wanted alive, not dead. It wasn't fair that it was the very same place they would be hunted down if they did return, like the rabid animals the Argent's presumed they were.

Leaving the way they did meant they hadn't gotten the chance to see if anything was left at the house. They couldn't even mark graves, and grieve properly. 

That same place also happened to be the place they'd been born, the place they'd grown up and called home.

Derek had never wanted Laura to face all of that alone.

The burnt down house. The nothing where there was once everything.

The thought still haunts him. One of so many. 

Beacon Hills is home—but it's the home Derek had helped raze to the ground with his selfishness and stupidity. Everything he and Laura had ever known, everyone they'd ever loved, it was all gone, now. Derek had taken those things away from his sister and hadn't even had the guts to tell her. Tell Laura they were all gone because of him, tell her that everything that had happened to their family, to them, was all his fault.

In the aftermath of the fire Laura hugged Derek, and had kept hugging him, over and over in those weeks and months and years that followed. She would pull him into her arms hold him tight, whenever she could sense it was all getting to be too much for him again.

Alpha.

Big sister.

But Laura only knew about some of the reasons why it sometimes felt like too much effort for Derek to keep on breathing.

He never told her about Kate.

And Derek, the fucking coward, he'd allowed Laura to hold him, feeling the flames of shame on his cheeks every time, hot as those that took the lives of his parents. His family. His pack. 

Now, he remembers that last time. 

“I'm going out.” 

Laura stood up, walked around the two mismatched armchairs and stopped him by throwing both her arms around his neck, pulling him into her and hugging him, scenting him. 

It always took him a moment to respond these days, but Derek hugged her back. 

“What's this for?”

“You. Because I know whomever's bed you end up in tonight, you won't be asking for one of these.”

Oh, fuck no. Derek couldn't handle that. Did she think he was out sleeping with people? Never again, not after…

He pushed his sister off him, gently; a stark contrast to the harsh words that followed. 

“Don't fucking coddle me. And fuck you, Laura—I don't sleep in anybody's bed but my own.” A single mattress on the floor of the lounge of their shitty one bedroom apartment. Derek had so many shameful memories, and crawling into his sister's bed every night for the first year after the fire was one of them. “Just—leave me alone.”

Laura was the one—the only—person Derek had left in the entire world, yet his guilt was constantly pushing her away. 

“Where do you go to, little brother? You might not be clinging to me anymore, night after night, nightmare after nightmare, but you're rarely in your own bed most mornings.”

She hadn't meant it as a dig. Derek knew that. She was his sister, and she loved him.

Maybe she thought he was making progress? Seeing people. Moving on.

Derek spent his nights waiting outside of dive bars, and hanging around in back alleys and dark places, desperate to find scumbags to taunt who were big enough and hard enough to at least attempt to kick the living shit out of him.

Derek hated being a werewolf, now. He wanted to get hurt and stay hurt.

“Just—out.”

Then Derek turned his back on Laura, leaving her to stand there and watch him walk away as he left her to go out looking for a fight, without looking back. 

That was the last time somebody put their arms around Derek—and the last time he saw his sister alive.

It was two years ago. Derek doesn’t think he has taken a full breath, since. 

Now here he is—standing in his stupid big loft that he bought for his betas, yet another pack he managed to destroy—having given away more than he should, with skinny yet strong arms wrapping as far around his shoulders as they'll reach. 

Stiles.

“You don't have to hug back. But you can, if you want to. I won't tell,” the kid jokes. It's his way to connect, his connection to the world. A coping mechanism, Derek thinks.

He knows all about those.

“I…” he doesn't have the first fucking clue of how to handle this. Or how to admit he needs it—to himself, let alone somebody else. He doesn't know how to admit that he wants it. 

But this is Stiles. The one person in Derek's life who seems, for some unfathomable reason, to give a fuck about Derek. To care about him.

Slowly, very slowly, Derek lifts an arm and awkwardly rests a hand on Stiles's upper back, feels the muscles jump slightly under the kid's baggy clothes as he tentatively spreads his fingers and finds the back of Stiles's neck. 

Stiles's voice hitches just a touch as he says, “These can be on tap, you know. If you want them. Stilinski hugs are the best hugs, dude. Believe.”

And Derek finds he does believe. For the first time in forever, Derek believes there could be something good in his life again.

More confidently, now, he brings his other arm up to wrap around Stiles's waist and hugs Stiles tighter, properly, and allows himself to be hugged back.

Derek wonders how he has gone so long without this kind of closeness. Lived without this kindness.

He decides to let the 'dude' pass. Because maybe—maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all, to be somebody's dude? 

Stiles's dude.

It's a fucking ridiculous moniker and yet Derek suddenly couldn't care less. 

“I think I'd like that,” he whispers into the forbidden place where Stiles's jaw meets long, pale neck. "Dude."

Derek can feel Stiles's smile as the kid squeezes him harder. And, ironically, Derek feels as if he can breathe again. 

.

for @greyhavenisback bc i want to hug you in person and can't <3 (unedited, forgive me!)

[theosmommy1966]

Unfair Love

Your fingers were cramping from how hard you were holding the door. Your eyes mad to be deceiving you, Regulus fucking Black cant be standing in front of you. The guy you loved from the simply age of 5 all the way until the end of school. He had been your best friend, the guy you pined over for years and years while he pushed you aside every time he got a girlfriend. Only to suck you right back in when he got bored. 

“No..” You said moving to close the door to your brother's manor. Tom, Mattheo and You were triplets. Magical beings already formed crazy connections but the three of you could literally feel each other and each other's major feelings. So the shock and pain of seeing Regulus had pulled them from the upstairs living room to the top of the stairs. Leaning against opposite walls, Tom positions so he could see down the stairs easily keeping an eye on you while being positioned in a way to be easily overlooked. 

When Regulus pushed his way in, it took everything in both of them to stay put but your voice stopped them. “Tom is home. If that's not bad enough, so is Mattheo. Do not come any further into my home Regulus.” Regulus paused just inside the door, while he had been friends with both boys in school. He also knew they were fiercely protective of their ‘baby’ sister. They would kill each other if the other hurt her, so they would easily Avada him if he pushed to hard. 

“Y/n.. Dont marry him.” He said in a nonchalant tone. Acting like he wasnt rocking her world and trying to crumble her relationship to pieces. “ Regulus.. Your being a dick.” You said unconsciously stepping towards the stairs and pulling your hands up to your chest. He stepped towards you and smiled in a cocky way that made you want to slap him “Come on y/n/n, you know you its always been me.. Dont marry him.” 

Those words sparked anger in your gut. 

Stepping towards him this time you sneer. “I was second to every single girl that even looked your way in school! You literally asked me to the yule ball and then FORGOT and went with some girl from Ravenclaw! I cant.. I wont.. I.. I..” It felt like a let down to your last name when that spark died and never turned into a fire as you started to almost hyperventilate. Every time he broke your heart played through your head as his eyes flicked above your head. 

You didnt need to turn around to know your brothers were coming down. Mattheo was past you quickly, having moved before your breathing even got uneven. Tom wasnt as familiar with panic and anxiety attacks as you and he were. He didnt stop to comfort you as he grabbed his old friend harshly and jerked him out the door. He didnt slam it on his way out knowing that would just startle you and make it worse. 

Tom had always for some reason been the one you went to for comfort. You thought it was probably just because he was the ‘oldest’. He was the one who retucked you into bed when you had bad dreams even though he was the same age. He had always just carried himself in a way that gave big brother vibes. Every where you went people thought you and Matt were twins and Tom was the older brother. 

He would always have a hard time dealing with others feelings but he always made the most effort for his siblings. When you collapsed onto the stairs and started sobbing he moved the rest of the way to you quickly. He tries to get you to calm your breathing but its like you cant hear him. He does the only thing he knows too, the same thing he use to do when you were children and he couldnt wake you from a nightmare. Pressing his forehead to yours he gently entered your mind. it was easy to find you in panic because when all the thoughts finally formed into a picture you were stood frozen while everything moved around you. 

Him saying your name broke your focus as you turned confused then relieved to see him. “Tommy” You said in a broken whisper as he reached for you, tucking your head against his shoulder and hugging you he looked around. “Lets walk through all this, yeah?” Nodding against his chest “I just feel so much right now.. Im so mad at Regulus. Ive tried my entire life to be what he wants, to be someone he sees but he never did. I was just someone to placate his ego in between relationships.” 

Tom watches as memories of you crying, of Regulus manipulating you and leaving flash around him and he squeezes tighter. “He hasnt spoken t-to me in years and then he just shows up here the night before Im supposed to get married?!” You sob and then suck in a harsh breath “Oh my god. Teddy.. Whats he going to think when he finds out I was crying over another man when im supposed to be relaxing and getting ready to marry him!” 

You pull away and pull out of your head and then away from Tom in the real world. Standing you start to pace and pull at your hair. Tom sighs and stands to try and stop you but the door flies open. Mattheo running in frantically looking for you, only to be shoved out of the way by your tall sandy blond fiancee. “Tesoro” He barley whispers as he rushes to pull you into his arms. Your knees giving out again but he keeps you up. His huge hand cups the back of your head and neck as he shushes you gently. 

Theo swears his heart is breaking as your shoulders rack with sobs. He turns to look at his other best friends, Tom is staring at the door, clearing pissed and trying to stay put. Mattheo is pulling at his own hair when he sees the questions in his friends eyes. Hes struggling because he wants to tell him so he can better comfort you, but he doesnt want to betray your trust. Thankfully he doesnt have to, you can feel his panic and pull away just enough too look up. “Regulus was here.” 

Theos head snaps back to you and he tries to reign in his feelings quickly knowing that they will all play out on his face. His first feeling was worry, he had worked so hard to show you how you should actually be treated. So many dates where he couldnt even hold your hand yet. Regulus had treated you so poorly from day one that his nontoxic love was foreign and unwelcome. 

You had grown up in vastly different environments. Birthing triplets had killed your mother. While your father wasn't horrible or abusive, he was unattentive. He would rather you have a nanny (who he sleeps with before replacing and repeating) then try and raise you alone. While Theo grew up with parents who not only loved him but each other. 

Next was anger at the audacity. Then was worry again but this time for you. Taking a deep breath and taking your cheek in one hand he wipes your tears away. “Ok, tell me why your so upset by that. We have to be on the same page to talk through this. Can we go sit down?” you shake your head and pull him up the stairs, away from your brothers to your room. You let go of his hand and keep walking straight for your bathroom. 

After a few mintues long arms wrapped around you, crossing over and gripping your upper arms. “Im here, Tesoro. Whenever your ready.” You didnt register any measure of time as you stood under the water with him holding you and pressing kisses to your neck and shoulder. “I dont deserve you theo..” you say so quietly he almost doesnt hear. Before he can ask what you mean your already speaking. “Here I am, the night before marrying you, crying over some other guy.. God im so horrible.” 

Before your hands can cover your face, Theo has spun you around and is tilting your face forcing you to look at him. He looks just a little annoyed as he speaks, “Dont say that. Do you remember what Tesoro means?” You sniffle and nod but he raises his eyebrows waiting for you to say it. “It means treasure.” He nods and smiles just a little “So.. My Tesoro couldnt be horrible.. I get it darling.. He was your first love, theres a lot of trauma there. I know your not crying because you miss him, your crying for 17 year old you, for 15 year old you and so on. And thats ok, because thats how we heal.” 

Theos heart warmed as you stare up at him in awe. “I know its difficult for you, my love. That this open communication and understanding isnt something that comes naturally too you. So youll have to give me just a little grace while I continue to learn to navigate you. I promise one day Ill be an expert.” He leans in and kisses your forehead, staying there for just a moment to give you both a second to pull yourselves together. 

When he pulled back the smile he loves was back on your face. He sighs happily and kisses your nose before looking at you. Everything was right in his world again, all he needed to do now, was wait for you to go to sleep. Because Regulus.. Well Theo completely understood where YOU were coming from. But Black? Nah. While tending to lean towards his mothers Hufflepuff nature, sometimes he needs to remind people why he was sorted into Slytherin. Why he became friends with The Dark Lords children. Why he and your brothers trusted him to care for you. And tonight, it would be Regulus` turn to learn. 

[satorusugurugurl]

Chilling by the pool + sukuna plz🙏🙏

Holiday!

Summary: Marie’s Summer Fest prompt: chillin’ by the pool

Pairing: Ryomen Sukuna (Modern!AU) x AFAB!Reader

Warnings: language, smut, pool-sex, thigh grinding, unprotected sex, creampie, breeding kink

Word Count: 1,895

A/N: the modern!Sukuna AU is a secret weakness of mine. I love writing for these characters. There’s just something about them that makes my heart flutter! (all of the modern!sukuna prompts on my blog are in the same universe)

When Sukuna told you he wanted to go on a vacation with you, and only you, you had been too stunned to speak. Normally, if you went on a trip with him, his younger brothers Yuuji and Choso tagged along, but this time, sharing a room with two queen-sized beds and one bathroom to share. So when he told you he wanted to go on a vacation, and you started looking at cheap hotel deals with two queens, Sukuna looked at you as if you had lost your ever-loving mind before snatching your phone.

“I ain't taking no brats this fuckn’ time.”

This is how you found yourself in an Air BnB, just you and Sukuna in Kyoto. Not having Choso and Yuuji around was strange, making your time with your boyfriend nice and quiet, which both of you needed. You floated in the pool your home away from home had to offer and grinned at your snoring boyfriend. His sunglasses were on, one hand resting behind his head while the other rested on his stomach underneath the umbrella.

He needed the rest; he worked so hard for his brothers; as long as he was in the shade and had sunscreen on, there was no reason to bother him. You shut your eyes and drifted to sleep, waking up about an hour later when you felt yourself drifting under some shade that hadn’t been there before.

Sukuna had tugged his chair and umbrella closer to the pool, bringing him closer to his bratty girlfriend. When you glanced at his chair, you were met with your tattooed boyfriend's face, his sunglasses pushed up against his head as he huffed. Without a single word, Sukuna leaned over his chair, eyes glued on you as you drifted closer towards him.

“Do you know how long I’ve waited for you to float over here?”

“I don't know how long were you waiting?”

“Too fucking long.” Sukuna rose his sunglasses off, jumping into the water. You squeal as the water hitch your warm skin with a chill. Sitting up slightly, you try to follow Sukuna with your eyes, seeing nothing but a dark shadow passing underneath you.

You felt like a shark was stalking you. One that was starved, and you, well, you were its meal. Amid your thoughts, you missed your boyfriend swimming underneath your raft. The only clue you got that he was underneath you was when your raft was tilted to the side, causing you to fall into the water.

The crystal clear water was perfect, cooling down your skin. Bubbles tickled you as you breached the surface and turned around, searching for your boyfriend. Toned, tattooed, muscular arms wrapped around you, pulling you towards the pool wall, slamming you against it. The impact didn’t hurt, but your boyfriend's hungry, feral look does things for you!

You gasped as Sukuna’s lips found your sensitive ear, licking and sucking on them while his knee slid between your legs, pressing against your throbbing core. He nibbled on your earlobe teeth, grazing over it and making you scream his name. Thank God your pool was a private one because you were phoning, grinding, and crying out against your boyfriend as if you were in heat.

“H-Holy fuck, Kuna, what—?”

“Shut up,” he stated, tilting his head to the side, sharp canine digging into the crook of your neck. “Just relax. Let me have some fun.”

“Oh, I will. I just do—oooh—nngh!” Sukuna removed his knee from between your legs, opting to tug your bottoms down, letting them float away. “Kuna~”

“I need to be inside of you.” his hand slipped further down to his swim trunks, pulling them down enough to free his thick cock. “And I’m gonna take you now because I don’t have anyone stopping me from fucking you right here right now,” Sukuna growled softly, wrapping you up in his arms as soon as you both were bare from the bottom down. "Mmm, fuck, this feels good."

You wrapped your arms around his neck and legs around his hips. "I love the water," you whispered, looking into his crimson eyes. “But I love you more, fuck I'm so glad you booked this.” His teeth nipped at your neck with a snarl.

He rocked gently against you, pressing kisses to your neck and shoulder. "Lately, I’ve been finding it really hard to relax. I figured we could use a well-deserved break.” Humming in agreement, you nodded before rubbing your hands down his back.

"You work so hard, Kuna; you deserve to relax.”

He pulled back to stare at you. "You make it easy, Kitten. Easy when it comes to taking care of my kid brothers and when it comes to relaxing.”

Hearing those words, leave his mouth while his cock is grinding against you, and you are rocking back against him, eager for more. "I'm so glad I can help you feel relaxed and carry some of the weight for you; I love you, and god, you deserve the world, Kuna~."

"You are the sweetest girl on this planet, Kitten; ~" His hand trailed up to your breast, pushing the wet swim top up, teasing your soft skin. “But I already have the world when I’m with you.”

"Ah~" You bit her lip; your body was on fire with need, "Kuna~ will you fuck me, please?" You scratched your nails down his back. "I-I need you—god, I need you so bad."

"Oh, are you a desperate little slut now, Kitten, huh?" He groped you roughly, enjoying your body slowly, taking in your beautiful, soft skin.

"Mhmm, I'm your little slut~ I fuckin’ love you-" Sukuna grunted as you rolled hips rocked against him again, a little harder this time.

Sukuna turned, pushing you harder against the tile wall before leaning on and whispering in your ear. "You're such a good girl~ You're such a slut, a whore, just for me, right Kitten?~" He purred, teeth nipping at your earlobe again.

“Yes!”

“Good to know.” He forced his leg between yours, moving his knee up and settling you on his thigh. "But I'm not ready to fuck you just yet. Grind on me." He ordered with a soft growl.

You blushed, feeling a tad bit shy at first. Before remembering all the places, he had fuckrd you before. A closet, Gojo’s room, the tattoo shop. This would be a piece of cake. "O-Okay—" you mustered your assertiveness before grinding down on his leg. "S-Suku~" you rolled your puds tantalizingly slow.

“Yeah, baby.” Sukuna groaned softly, gently bringing his thigh a little higher for you, pressing it harder. "That's a good Kitten, getting yourself off on me; keep it up~."

Your face was flushed, cried out. "L-Like this," you asked, rocking a bit faster with a whimper, eyes shyly meeting your boyfriend's starved gaze.

He leaned in, kissing your neck before biting down on the soft, overly sensitive skin. "You're mine~"

"A-Ah~!" Your body rocked a bit faster over his tattooed thigh. "P-Please Kuna~ I-I'm yours, fuck, please t-take me!”

Hearing the desperation in your voice made Sukuna quickly remove his leg. You didn’t even have a chance to complain about the absence of his leg for long before that empty spot was quickly taken up by his hips. Sukuna’s cock rubbed against your folds. "Yeah, you want me to take you, Kitten? Want me to make you mine in every way I can?"

"Y-Yes! P-Please Kuna, oh fuck, please take me." You were utterly desperate and in need of him and his thick, long, pierced cock. "I'd do anything for it."

"Good girl ~" He purred before thrusting into you, not stopping until he was fully buried inside you. "Oh, Fuck—!!"

You yelped, tightening around his thick throbbing cock as he slammed into you. "Ooooh fuck me~"

“Kitten~!” He growled, looking right into beautiful eyes before setting a harsh, deep, slow pace. He was focused on every thrust, the way his thick cock dragged against your walls. How your walls tried to pull him deeper inside of you. “Fuck, kitten—You have the perfect fuckin’ body!”

You whimpered and whined, your nails digging deeper into his back. "I-I love you~!” your declaration of love, the feeling of you wrapped around him in the stinging pain of your nails and his back, had Sukuna panting heavily against your skin. God, he wanted you to be his. Every fucking inch of you. He moaned, the water starting to splash against the walls and your skin as he picked up the pace fucking you ruthlessly.

“I love you too, Kitten~ O-Ohhh fuck-I’m gonna get you pregnant~"

Having children was something you had never discussed about before. How marriage wasn’t even talked about. But your boyfriend was already imagining you swollen with his child. You’re so good with his brothers. He could only imagine what a fantastic mother you were going to turn out to be. There wasn’t a chance that you would even get pregnant right now with the IUD you had. So, for the time being, it would just be a fantasy.

A fantasy that you could get behind. "Mmmm, god, I want that, Kuna~ I want your babies~ I'll be a good mommy—!!”

He growled, his hands gripping your hips almost painfully. "Fuck—fuck—fuck!! Y-Yeah, you’ll be such a good mom to our kids!!” He snarled, rutting harder against you. “Yeah, you wanna be stuffed with my kids, huh? Is that what you want, baby?"

"Nnngh fuck!! Yes, Sukuna—p-please stuff me~ I-l aggh—fuck~! I-I'm so close, please~!!"

The water was making Sukuna feel a certain kind of way like he was high and drunk at the same time. But that was just the effect you had on him. Your pink-haired boyfriend was cumming before he noticed. Not wanting to leave you hanging, he reached down, rubbing your clit desperately.

“F-Fuck! Fuuck yes! Yes, yes, yes!! Cum for me!”

Feeling his cum filling you and the stimulation he provided to your clit since you tumbled over the edge, falling into your delicious orgasm. As you came around his cock Sukuna pressed his lips against yours, the lingering taste of rum and Coke on his tongue as he slowly thrust into you, working you down from your high. Sukuna hummed against your lips, scoffing as he pulled back to look at your fucked out expression.

“Good thing we aren’t at a hotel because I’m pretty sure the neighbors two miles down the beach could hear you screaming my name.”

“Like I give a shit.” you sighed contentedly as Sukuna held you against the wall. “Kuna—”

“Hmm?”

“I do love you.”

Your boyfriend grinned pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Mmm, I know Kitten, me too.” He loved you so much part of him was hoping that maybe just maybe he did knock you up.

Forever Tag List:

@darkstarlight82 @pandoness @nealeart @simp-plague @sugurubabe @chilichopsticks @reap3erslov3

Summer Fest Tag List:

@typicalife-101

[slut4thebroken]

Stuck

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Neil Lewis x stepsis!reader

Summary | You get stuck under your bed and your step brother Neil is the only one home to help get you out.

Warnings | Sexual content, 18+, smut, dubious consent, stepcest?, from behind 😼, bondage technically, humiliation, but like it’s unintentional, Neil is a lil delulu and actually think she wants it…, she kind of does tho…, accidental breeding??, cockwarming i guess, minor wedgie-ing lol, dry humping, grinding, spanking, groping, he’s just a pervert lol, purposefully cheesy, not serious.

Words | 2.4 k

Notes | Yeah… honestly man idek anymore. Also if anyone says this is cringe… I’m just gonna say it’s because it’s /supposed/ to be cringe and not because I wrote it in like less than 3 hours 💀

Ao3 link | <3

Masterlist

You cursed under your breath and pulled harder, but the fabric wouldn’t budge. All you were trying to do was just reach for something you dropped under the bed. But your sleeve got caught on something and you couldn’t get it out. The fabric wouldn’t tear, it was too tight to just slip over your head, and also you could barely see because of how dark it was under there. 

When you heard him call your name from somewhere in the house, you stiffened. Not now. Please not now. Your door swung open and whatever Neil was starting to say immediately got cut off. 

“What the hell are you doing?” He asked, making you roll your eyes. 

“I was trying to grab something but my fucking sleeve got caught and I can’t get it off.” You spat. You were quickly growing frustrated— you just wanted to get out from under there already. “See if you can reach under and help me.” You started pulling again, using your body weight for more force, but it wouldn’t even budge. “Neil!” If he fucking left-

“Calm down. Jeez.” 

“Just help me already. I’ve been here for like ten minutes.” 

“How am I supposed to fit under your bed?” He scoffed. To be fair, you barely fit under here. But he’s so scrawny there’s no reason that he shouldn’t be able to. 

“Figure it out!” You snapped, making him huff. 

“I’m going to try pulling you.” He said and you sighed. 

“Fuck— fine.” His hands wrapped around your ankles and he pulled, making you wince a little. His grip on your ankles made it hurt when he pulled and your top was digging into you even more. “Stop! Okay just— try something else. That hurts.”

“What hurts?” He released your ankles and you sighed, feeling all of the pressure being released. 

“Mostly my ankles.” 

“Okay… Here, I’ll try this.” His hands settled on your hips, making you stiffen. 

“What are you doing?” You rushed out. 

“I’m helping you… Like you literally just yelled at me to do.” He said, sounding annoyed. He didn’t let you get another protest in before tightening his grip and pulling. You slid out a little, making your sleep shorts ride up your legs. He yanked again and you went out a little farther. 

“I can’t… I can’t get a good grip like this.” He was all but panting from exertion. “Get up on your knees.”

“What?” You choked out. 

“If you want my help then just get on your goddamn knees.” He snapped, making you huff. What if you just stayed here forever? That would be better than being in that humiliating position in front of him. But this was already humiliating enough, so what’s a little more?

You sighed and lifted yourself onto your knees with some difficulty. Once you were steady, he wrapped his arms around your lower stomach and pulled back. The top was still digging into you, but you didn’t care anymore, you just wanted to get out from under here. He yanked you again and when he let out a low groan, you stiffened. It could've been from exertion… right? When he pulled you back again, you finally felt it. 

“Ew! Gross, Neil— what the hell?” You yelled trying to get out of his grip. You’d rather be stuck under the bed. 

“You’re the one…” another pull, this time his hips met you halfway, “who asked for my help.” He panted, doing it again. He only did it once more before holding you still, not letting you crawl forward under the bed as his hips— his fucking hard on— stayed pressed to your ass. 

“Let me go right fucking now or I swear to god,”

“You’ll what? Yell for mom and dad? Yeah that’ll be real helpful while they’re out of town.” Fuck… you forgot about that. He held you still with one arm while the other groped your ass, spreading you open so his bulge could grind against your slit. When he finally let go of your body, you tried to scramble under the bed, but he grabbed your shorts and underwear and yanked them up, hard, making you cry out. The friction and the pressure was making your clit feel like it was on fire and you whimpered as you tried to squirm out of his hold. 

He pulled you back out of the bed again, then yanked up even more. Your knees were almost off the ground and you could feel tears brimming in your eyes from the pain and humiliation. With most of your ass exposed now, he groped it again, digging his nails into the soft flesh until you winced. He suddenly slapped your ass twice in quick succession and you couldn’t even flinch forward to get away from the sting. He switched his grip and did the same to your other ass cheek, letting out a low groan as you squirmed. He pushed his hips into you again, but since you were higher up now, he was grinding against your cunt instead. 

“I bet you’re not even stuck.” He snickered. “Was this all just an excuse to get your step brother to fuck you?” He cooed mockingly. 

“You watch too much fucking porn, Neil.” You spat. “Let me go!” 

“What kind of a brother would I be if I didn’t help my sister out, hm?” He was grinding on you desperately now, practically humping you while holding you up with a wedgie, and you hated the way it made your clit throb— No. It’s just the pressure from your shorts and underwear… yeah.. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you out of there. We just gotta loosen you up first.” He released you and pulled back, then you heard the sound of his belt, making you scramble forward again. 

“No! Neil— this isn’t funny anymore.” He worked quickly and when his cock was finally free, he grabbed your ankles and used far more force than necessary to pull you back out. He roughly yanked the clothes off your body and put you on your knees again, holding your hips with a bruising grip to keep you from moving. When his cock brushed your slit, you stiffened. “Neil— Neil, wait.” You tried to reach back with your free hand and push him away, but your fingers barely managed to brush against him. 

“Shh… Just let me help you.” He said quietly, lining up with your hole. When he pushed in, your hole body tensed up and a strangled whimper escaped you as he moaned loudly. “Oh fuck… Oh my god— You’re so fucking tight and- and hot… Why is it so hot?” He whined. He kept pushing in until his hips were flush with your ass and you groaned uncomfortably at the pressure on your cervix and the sting of the stretch. “Don’t worry, sis. I’m gonna get you out of there.” He moaned, continuing to babble out senseless words through his sounds of pleasure. 

He slowly dragged his hips back until only the tip was inside, then slammed back in, making you all but scream at the sudden forcefulness of the thrust. He kept that up for a while, gripping your hips hard enough to leave bruises, sometimes pulling you back to meet him halfway. He suddenly sped up and you choked on a moan, but quickly bit your lip. You didn’t want to do anything to encourage him. 

“Neil, just— just stop, please. I promise I won’t be mad. I won’t tell anyone.” You whined and he landed a hard slap on your ass. 

“You can stop playing hard to get now. It’s getting a little old.” What? How the fuck were you playing hard to get?? “I mean… c’mon. I get being coy when you were wiggling your ass in front of me, but I’m already inside you… You can drop the act now.” 

“It’s not a fucking act, Neil!” He really does watch too much porn. 

“God— just stop whining already. I’m giving you what you wanted.” 

“I don’t fucking want this— I want you to stop!” Despite your words, the arousal pooling in your stomach was unmistakable. 

“Please, just stop talking.” He whined, long and bratty. “I didn’t exactly picture my first time being spent arguing with you.” 

He’s a virgin?? 

Or… he was a virgin?

You shouldn’t be surprised though. His thrusts were frantic and unpracticed, he wasn’t trying to actually have sex, he was just focusing on pounding something until he finally came, like he probably does when he’s alone. Based on his moans and the way his thrusts turned even more erratic, you knew it wouldn’t be much longer. 

He cursed under his breath and groped your ass, keeping his other hand on your hip so you didn’t try to move away again. He slapped you a few times, not as hard as before, and let out a low moan. 

“Fuck yeah…” He groaned, dragging the words out. “Can’t believe it actually moves like that.” He chuckled, spanking you again. When he grabbed you again and pulled your ass cheek to the side, he choked on a moan as his hips stuttered. 

“Holy shit.” He whimpered. “Fuck— you look so good wrapped around my cock.” He was panting now, getting even closer to his orgasm. “And you’re getting it all wet— oh my god…” He whined. There’s no way that was true…… It would make sense though, based on the way that your clit was basically throbbing by now. 

“You like it when your brother fucks you like this?” 

“Fuck you.” You muttered, cheeks heating up when he chuckled. 

“I like it too, don’t worry. The next time you get yourself ‘stuck’ I’ll help you out again.” He chuckled and you could practically see the smug look on his face. “So fucking good… tight and warm… God I just wanna live in your pussy.” He groaned. You tried not to blush at the praise, but when you did anyway, you told yourself it was out of embarrassment. 

“I’m so close.” He said through a breath. “Where do you want it, huh? Should I do a back shot? Or maybe come on this fat fucking ass instead?” He spanked you three times, emphasizing each word. 

“Or…” He trailed off, making your stomach churn. 

“Neil… No.” You warned, making him whine. 

“Why not?” 

“Because I’m not on birth control and I can’t get knocked up by my fucking brother.” You spat. 

“Step brother.” He corrected, making you roll your eyes. 

“Pull out. I’m serious.” You said lowly, getting ready to try and squirm away from him again. 

“Fuck— fine. Fine. I’ll pull out.” He grumbled, clearly unhappy. You were just glad he actually listened to you. 

Your top had ridden up your back a little bit, so he reached under the bed to pull it back down, but kept his grip on it, rather than holding your hips. He bucked into you wildly and you couldn’t hold in the sounds anymore, not with how rough he was being. The top was digging into you painfully in so many places because of how hard he was pulling on it. 

“Your ass looks so fucking hot like this.” He groaned. His hips were smacking against you almost violently with each thrust and, no doubt, your ass was bouncing each time. “Next time I’m gonna see your tits.” 

There’s not going to be a next time. You wanted to say, but you could barely get any sounds out other than moans. 

“C’mon. Almost there…” He was pulling you back by your top on each thrust and you could feel your breasts moving inside the fabric embarrassingly. Wanting this humiliation to be over, you clenched down on his cock and he choked on a moan as his hips stuttered. “Fuck yes… Holy shit.” He breathed, pulling you back even harder. 

“I’m coming…” He whined, getting ready to pull out, but your sleeve finally ripped and now that there was no tension, you practically flew back onto his cock, forcing a strangled whimper out of you as his cock pushed in the farthest it had so far. He let out a loud moan and even though you could feel hot come hitting your walls, you still tried to crawl away from him— maybe only a little come would lower your chances of getting knocked up, compared to if he stayed buried in you until he finished. He whined loudly and bent over you a little, wrapping his arms around you so you couldn’t move as his hips jerked, filling you up.  

His movements slowed and his sounds stopped, then he was panting, hugging you close and keeping you plugged up so his come wouldn’t drip out. But you need to try and get it out right now— Gravity certainly wasn’t helping your situation either. 

“Neil— Neil, let me go. I have to clean this out.” You weren’t sure how much it would do, but you figured doing something would lessen your chance of getting pregnant, rather than doing nothing. 

“It’s a little late for that, don’t you think.” He mumbled, clearly much sleepier than he was a few seconds ago. 

“I don’t care.” You hissed. He sighed and shuffled backwards, keeping your ass pinned to his hips. Once you were out from under the bed, he laid down over you, not letting you get up. “Neil!” 

“Shh.. In a minute. You’re just so warm and tight… don’t wanna leave yet.” He buried his face in your shoulder, getting comfortable. “You smell good.” He took a deep breath through his nose, making you shudder. 

“Okay… You’ve had your fun. Let me go.” You tried to switch tactics— clearly being mean wasn’t doing anything. 

“I know I know… Just a little longer.” Was there even a point now though? You’ll have to get a morning after pill either way… so you might as well just stop fighting him. 

You sighed and closed your eyes. Of course he’s the type to cuddle after sex. He could at least lay with you though… instead of literally on top of you. He let out a quiet breath and you felt his head shift, then he was reaching out to grab your arm so he could examine the sleeve. 

“See? I got you out.” He said proudly, making you roll your eyes with a scoff. 

Taglist (join here)

@pedrisgatorade @lunyyx @faebirdie @idkdudsworld @rentaldarling @vivvive @ceruleanrainblues @mrkdvidal1989 @brooklynscherry-z @ohmysatansstuff @aviamulier @d1lf-loverthinqs @butlersluvbot @miyababby @n1ghtw1ngslver @mandowhatnow @baekhyunstruly @nashja @xxorazz @halleysc6met @crunchsworld @cillianscrybaby @babaohhhriley @deceitfuldevout @gentyleman @lorelais-world

[lxverss]

⸻ ꜰᴇᴀᴛʜᴇʀʟɪɢʜᴛ ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜᴇꜱ | hhj

✰ ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: brothers bsf!h.hyunjin x fem!reader

✰ ɢᴇɴ��ᴇ: smut, friends to lovers (?), mutual pining, hyunjin is a perv, reader is a tease

✰ ᴡᴄ: 2.5k

✰ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: smut, drunk sex, kinda? rough sex, swearing, lots of sexual tension, male masturbation, oral (f. recieving), lots of dirty talk, p in v, unprotected sex (don't be stupid like them), creampie, cum eating, hair pulling, a bit of fluff at the end (lmk if I missed anything!)

this fic is strictly 18+ and has sexual themes which are not suited for a minor. Minors/ageless blogs will be blocked immediately upon interaction.

You were a typical broke college student. But unlike most of your friends, you had your own apartment. Mostly because you'd rather pay the bills than share your precious home with someone else.

Despite that, hwang hyunjin, your brother's best friend and him spent most of their times in your home. Your brother said it was because he didn't want his dear sister to feel alone. He was, indeed quite overprotective of you. Could you blame him? Boys would most certainly drool over you wherever you went. No harm in protecting his innocent little sister from those lust driven boys, is there?

Back to the present, you invited them over for tonight to celebrate finishing your second semester. You also invited your close friend Felix, one of your only male friends your brother trusted. You heard the doorbell ring right as you were done preparing snacks and drinks. "Coming!" You yelled from the kitchen loud enough for them to hear. You hastily made your way towards the front door, checking through the peephole. It was none other than hwang hyunjin himself.

You let him in, asking him where your brother was. "Well.. about that.." he started speaking, and you already knew where this was going. "...he can't make it because something came up at work" he continued, scratching his neck nervously waiting for your response. You sighed, kind of expecting this. "Oh well, I guess he can't even make time for his own sister for one fucking evening" you said, clearly pissed. You both then made your way to your living room, and he made himself comfortable on your couch.

You went over to your kitchen to bring the snacks and drinks you prepared. You made your way over back to your living room, seeing hyunjin has already put on a show for himself to watch. "Want some?" You said, putting down the bowl of popcorn on your coffee table. He gave you a small smile and a nod as he reached for the bowl of popcorn. You made yourself comfortable sitting next to him on the couch.

Hyunjin was nervous. That short little dress you wore tonight reached your mid thigh. Your cleavage was on full display for only him to see. And when you bent down to grab some of the popcorn, he could clearly see your breasts. It drove him crazy everytime your hand brushed his when you both were reaching for the popcorn at the same time.

You suddenly got a notification on your phone, and you jumped a little in surprise. 'So fucking cute' he thought to himself. You opened your phone, only for your expression to drop.

lix 🐣 : sorry y/n, my girlfriend got sick and I can't make it tonight :(

lix 🐣 : I swear I'll make it up to you soon!!

You sighed, not being able to stay mad at him for his valid reason of not being able to make it. You texted him back, saying he should take care of his girlfriend and that you hope she gets better soon. "What's wrong?", Asked hyunjin with a confused expression. "Nothing... Lix won't be able to make it because his girlfriend's sick." You sighed yet again. "Guess it'll be just us tonight then" he said with a smirk. "Oh please." You rolled your eyes, focusing back on the movie but still smiling widely at his flirtatious remark. He only chuckled.

Despite seeming confident, he was internally screaming. Because not only was he gonna be spending time with you alone, in your house, but to make it worse he had been staring at your thighs and boobs this whole time instead of focusing on the movie and it took a toll on his newly formed erection. He was growing harder by the second, his thoughts only engulfed by your presence. He had to grab a fluffy pillow and put it over his erection, not wanting to give away his perverted antics. Although he was imagining it was you grazing your slick pussy over his cock instead of that pillow.

His mind was growing fuzzier by the second, and he had to avoid your gaze everytime you made a comment about the movie he wasn't even paying attention at. He was solely focused on the way your breasts bounced everytime you sat back down after grabbing a popcorn. He focused on your bare thighs, and your flimsy little dress riding them up as you put your right leg over the other. His gaze dropped to your fine legs, a silver anklet hanging from your right foot. He glanced back up at your breasts, his gaze slowly going up. They stopped at your collarbones, seeing a golden necklace adorning your neck. It was the one your brother gave you for your 18th birthday. Oh how he thought you were the most stunning woman on earth.

You noticed his lustful gaze on you, and the way he was clutching onto his pillow everytime you brushed your hand against his. You were loving every fucking bit of it. "Want a drink?" You playfully said, and he immediately knew you meant alcohol. "Sure" he said with a small smile.

You got up to make your way over to the kitchen, your dress moving from side to side as you swayed your hips on purpose. It was almost visible that you had no underwear on whatsoever and he could see that. He clutched his pillow tighter as he slid his hand down his pants to rub his now fully hardened cock. He moaned softly and he felt like a disgusting pig for even thinking of you like that.

You came back with a bottle of wine and two shot glasses. You sat back down and popped the bottle open, filling both your shot glasses with a generous amount. "Cheers!" He exclaimed as you both picked up your shot glass only to down it all at once. You both had a few shots, and he was a bit more drunk than you.

You both resumed watching the movie that was currently playing only to see a sexual scene unfold. His eyes grew wide in shock, seeing the protagonist heavily and lustfully making out with the female lead. It progressively grew worse and so did his boner. As if it couldn't get any worse or better, they started stripping and immediately hyunjin excused himself to the bathroom. You turned it off, flustered from the unexpected sexual scene.

Hyunjin shut the bathroom door behind him and leaned against it. He slowly reached for the zipper and unzipped his pants. He pulled his pants down along with his boxers and started stroking his fully hard dick. He moaned a softly, not wanting you to hear him. As he was stroking his cock, he only thought about you and how stunning you looked tonight. Your smell, your gaze, your smile, the flimsy dress you wore to tease him, and god everything about you was driving him fully insane. It didn't take him too long to cum, spurting it all over his hand.

After cleaning up, he came back and saw you scrolling through your phone on the couch. "Are you okay?" You said, glancing up at him with your big doe eyes. "What do you mean?" He said, in panic. Could you have caught on? Did you hear him masturbating? No. No way. He was as quiet as he possibly could be.

You motioned for him to sit next to you on the couch. He took baby steps towards you, and hesitantly sat down on the couch. "I'm not stupid you know" you said, staring at him with a teasing expression. His heart dropped to his stomach. This had answered all his questions.

"I see the way you look at me, hyunjin" you said, bringing a hand up to his face. He leaned into your touch, and his gaze went to your lips. You slowly leaned in and he thought you were going in for a kiss. But then, you swerved your head to the side and next to his ear you whispered, "I want you to touch me..". You grabbed his hand and brought it to your thigh, urging him to touch you. His cock jumped at that, and he immediately got hard again. He started to rub circles on your inner thigh, leaning in and pressing his plump lips to your neck. "Just how do you want me to touch you, angel?" He muttered into the crook of your neck and then started leaving featherlight kisses down to your collarbone. "Mmmh⸻ ah!" You whimpered softly which made his cock ache in the confines of his tight pants.

He pulled away at your lack of response and grabbed your jaw, "answer the question baby" he said with the most fierce gaze that made your pussy drool. "I-I want you to touch me down there.." you whined and he chuckled raspily. "Yeah? Will you be a good girl for me and take my fingers?" You nodded frantically in his hold. He brushed his hand over your clit and put slight pressure onto it which made you whine against him. He brought his finger down to your folds and gathered your juices to spread them on your clit. To which you grabbed his biceps and moaned loudly. He removed his fingers and started licking his fingers clean. He almost moaned at your taste. "Fuck, you taste so good baby" you whined at the loss of his touch and clenched around nothing. He grabbed your hips and changed your positions so you were laying down.

He forced your legs open and started kissing your inner thighs, leaving a few hickeys. He blowed his hot breath onto your clit and you squirmed at that. You tried closing your legs but to no avail, because his grip on you was too tight and would probably leave a mark. He then grabbed your clit with his plump lips and started sucking licking and biting on them. He started rubbing your entrance with his swift fingers, which made you clench and writhe beneath him. With the overwhelming pleasure, you grabbed onto his hair and clutched it tight. He groaned at that, grinding against the couch roughly.

"Fuck baby.. mmh..." He said in between slurping your essence. He then shoved two fingers into your cunt, thrusting them in and out in a swift motion. You moaned uncontrollably at that, and the knot in your stomach snapped. "Fuck!" You yelled as you came down from your high. Hyunjin wiped your release from his chin with the back of his hand. Grinning, he was satisfied with his masterpiece. When he got off the couch, you saw that he also came, staining your couch.

He hastily pulled his pants down along with his boxers and allowed his cock to spring free. Your mouth opened in awe, staring at his big cock. And fuck, was it pretty like him. It was thin but long, and blushing red at the tip. It had just the right amount of veins.

He smirked and got back on top of you. You grabbed his pretty black locks and pulled him in for a heated kiss. The kiss was gentle and loving despite the situation but it quickly grew rough. Teeth clashing, tongues fighting for dominance but obviously he won. Drool dripping down both of your chins, mixing with the sweat on your body. He bit your lip to which you let out a loud whimper and his hands clawed at your breasts. He got up and pulled you to his lap, not breaking the kiss to unzip your dress.

Then he finally pulled away from the kiss, a string of saliva still connecting your lips. His gaze was dreamy and it made your stomach do cartwheels. He then slowly pulled the dress off of you, admiring your naked body. You whimpered and tried to cover yourself but he swiftly grabbed both your wrists with one hand and pinned you down on the couch roughly. His other hand slammed down right beside your head. You yelped in surprise, and your pussy clenched around nothing.

"don't hide yourself from me, darling.." he said in his deep voice. He looked you up and down and bit down on his lips when his gaze fell on your perfect and round tits. "Fuck.." he grabbed onto your breast with one hand, still keeping you pinned with the other. His mouth latched onto your other breast, giving them both full attention. You squirmed under him at that and tried to get yourself out of his grasp but his hold on you was far too tight. You moaned and threw your head back into the pillow which made his cock twitch. He abandoned your breast and went up to sink his teeth into your neck. You nearly screamed and started squirming even more.

He suckled on your neck and left a few hickeys. Then finally let go of your wrists. Your hands latched onto his back and you dug your nails into is back. He whimpered and bit down harder. "Please hyunjin... need you...", You managed to squeak out. He got up, then went in for another kiss, slower this time. He started stroking his cock and rubbed your entrance with the tip. You whimpered into the kiss, hands moving up his back to tangle them in his hair. He slowly pushed into you, bottoming out.

"fuck, fuck, fuck!" You cussed and grabbed his hair tighter. He growled in response, "you're so fucking tight.. fuck!" He was leaking into your tight cunt. He didn't even start moving yet and you were already clenching him like your life depended on it. He started moving at an inhumane pace, chasing his release. You were practically screaming at this point, and you'd most likely get noise complaint from your neighbours but did you care? No. Not one bit. You felt like you were on cloud nine as you both went at it like bunnies. His grip on your hips were bruising and would leave a mark by morning but you didn't care. All you could think about was hyunjin and his pretty cock.

"nghhh- hyunjin! G-gonna cum!" You said in between thrusts and dragged your nails down his back which felt so fucking good. "Fuck! Cum for me baby" he said into the crook of your neck. You released all over his cock, milking him dry. Soon after your release he emptied himself inside of your delicious cunt, his cum oozing out of it. It felt warm against your walls as he thrusted a few more times to keep his cum inside. He pulled out of you shortly, getting up and picking you up along with him.

He kissed along your shoulders and neck, easing the burning bite marks and hickeys adorning your delicious skin. You nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck, still coming down from your high.

He made his way over to your bathroom and sat you down in your bathtub. He turned on the water with just the right amount of pressure. Before he could walk away to grab a towel to clean you up, you grabbed his neck and pulled him close, "round two?"

A/N: this is my first time posting a fic on Tumblr so hope you enjoyed!! Reblogs and feedbacks are highly appreciated! <3

This is not proofread btw so pls ignore if there are any typos or grammatical errors!

Do not repost, plagiarize or translate my works on other sites. ©lxverss 2023 all rights reserved.

[artists-ally]

I think Harvey would be thw type of person who makes love specially when he’s feeling sad. Like he needs comfort and to be as close to his s/o as possible, fingers intertwined and all that nice shit. How do you think reader would comfort him after he had a discussion with someone of his family?

{Oh, My Human Heart} Reader x Harvey Specter

So my mind went to [SEASON 8 EPISODE 5 SPOILER WARNING] where Harvey went up to Boston to defend his brother against his wife's divorce. That shit crushed my soul man, so this is based on that! Enjoy!! Title is a lyric from this song.

Word Count: 3,191

Warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, angst, smut, Season 8 Episode 5 Spoilers

Summary: When Harvey returned home from visiting his brother unexpectedly, there is an obvious weight to his shoulders as he slumps inside. And it’s your mission to find out what it is and wipe it from his memory.

Tagging: @kjbg-fantasymoon (your request is next babes <3)

~~~~~~~

The door slammed. Hard. Concerningly hard. 

“Harvey?” You shouted out into the kitchen, taking off the towel from your shoulder and set it on the counter. No one responded. Worry coursed through you, and you grabbed the knife from the cutting board. Just in case. 

Your husband rounded the corner and you jumped, but let the fear drain from your held breath and set the knife down. “Jesus Harvy, you could’ve… hey, what are you doing back here?”

Harvey looked indecipherably pissed. He had hard creases in his face and his lips pressed in that flat line that meant someone was about to see that side of him that meant he was gonna raise hell. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out, and he let his hands fall to his sides. 

“Okay, okay come sit, love,” You reached for him and guided him to the island. “Do you want to talk about it? A distraction? To be left the hell alone?”

That communication strategy had worked wonders when Harvey came home from a lethal case. All the details you knew about this one involved his brother and a divorce from his wife. It had already shattered Harvey’s heart to hear they were splitting up, but this was… this was rage. Raw fury. 

“I am going to open my mouth and let the floodgates go with it, and I just need you to try and make sense of it. Because for reasons only known by Jesus-fucking-Christ himself can this be possible.”

You just nodded, letting Harvey take some deep breaths. You noticed his hands were shaking. He was shaking. What the fuck happened in Boston?

“Marcus called me up there to represent him for his divorce,” Harvey started, thumbs in his eyes. “He told me that it was because she had an affair. I was ready to go kick down her door and take their kids away myself. Turns out, he lied to me. She was divorcing him because he started gambling again and he told Haley not to tell Katie.”

Your blood ran cold, all remorse leaving your body for Marcus. How could he fucking do that? 

“So, tell me this Yn. Why would my own god damn brother, who I spent my money on to build him a dream restaurant, lie to my fucking face? Not once. Not twice. Four times. Four opportunities he had to tell me and he waited till the last fucking second. I-I can’t even begin to describe how sick it makes me feel to have Haley be put in that position.”

“It is wildly unfair for her, and for their son,” you felt awful for them. They were the sweetest kids and didn’t deserve to have that weight on their shoulders. 

“I mean, was he not apart of the fucking family when mom did that to me? Did he suddenly just show up on our doorstep one night looking for a place to sleep like a stray cat? No, he didn’t. He’s my fucking brother. He was there when mom did it to me. And he saw what it did to our family. What it did to me. He was the one trying to fix our fucking fucked up family. To piece it together after the fall out and he expects me to do the same when he did the one thing worse than practically fucking cheating on her.”

“Harvey I think that's a little-”

“Now he’s destroying his own life. No, not even destroying, destroyed. He has ruined all chances of working things out between him and Katie and honestly, I can’t be fucking bothered to watch it crumble to the ground. And the worst part of it is he had the audacity to ask me to win this case. He doesn’t deserve to win let alone ask me. What a selfish, lying son of a bitch-”

“Harvey,” you placed a hand on his shoulder to keep him from walking away. He had been moving around animatedly, now up out of his seat and waving around. “Take a deep breath. Please.”

He did.

“Good,” You smiled softly. 

He took another. And another. “Sorry… just- sorry.”

“It’s okay,” You came and stood in front of him, hands flat on his chest. “Let’s go and get you changed and we can keep talking through it. If you’d like.”

Though Harvey’s eyes were harsh, that anger wasn’t directed at you. You’ve dealt with him like this on more than one occasion, and you’ve learned to recognize the difference. He didn’t dare look at you the way he is now.

After taking his hand and leading him up stairs, you took your time undressing him so he could be more comfortable. Once upon a time he had told you that the feeling of your hands on him could make him forget anything and everything. It was only in your best interest to do that for him now. To calm him so he could see the full picture.

Starting with his tie, you walked to the closet and hung it up in the empty space from where you picked it out this morning. Much the same with the jacket, tossing his still crisp white-shirt in the laundry. He handed you his belt and shoes, and while you put them away, he took off his dress pants and put on sweats by the time you came back. 

“Better?” You asked, placing his hands across your middle. 

He smiled, “Better.” 

Harvey was still sitting, but he rested his forehead against your stomach, just breathing. With calm hands you massaged his scalp and neck, his shoulders and arms. It was important to give Harvey his space at times like this, letting him speak when he wanted. Otherwise he’d just get defensive and shut down. That was not beneficial to either of you.

“I’m so fucking mad at Marcus, Yn.”

“I know, my love. I know,” You spoke softly, kissing the top of his head. “So am I.”

“I just don’t understand how he could do that after what mom did to me. I thought- I thought we were brothers again.” 

His voice cracked, and you could feel the first tear drops soak through your shirt and cool your skin. Your stomach clenched and dropped. You know Harvey and Marcus have been rocky for decades, but since he forgave his mom and started rebuilding their relationship, things naturally got better with Marcus. 

So much for all that hard work. And you had been so proud of him for taking those steps. And you knew the toll it took on him. Now it was all back at square one. 

“I am so sorry, Harvey.”

“What the fuck do I do?”

You paused for a long while. “I don’t know.”

When he looked up at you, eyes all red and bleary, you wanted to fly to Boston and smack Marcus yourself for putting Harvey right back where he was when he was sixteen. He may not have been the one asked to keep a secret this time, but he knows what it’s like to be in that situation. To feel so pinned and powerless. The looming decision of whether he should betray his mom or dad, a constant threat, and either outcome will ruin the family. 

“Are you up for listening to my ideas or do you still need to get things off your chest?” All you got was a shrug and a few spilled tears. “Okay, there’s no rush.”

“I just don’t know what to do, Yn. I have no fucking clue what I’m supposed to do. I want to beat him into the dirt the most. I want to hold Haley and tell her that none of this was ever her fault and she is not the one to blame. Goddamn do I want to hug Haley right now…”

You had to close your eyes. You didn’t want to see Harvey in this position, especially because you knew what this did to him. It stirred up all those memories and emotions from decades ago. Now they were all at the surface, controlling every one of his thoughts. And there isn’t a whole lot that you can do to get them to stop.

“I think you’re angry.”

“You’re goddamn right I’m angry,” Harvey huffed, making you let out a weak chuckle. 

“And I also think that I know you when you’re angry. And that you don’t think clearly when you are. So, how about we distract you for a while and then we get some sleep. Then, maybe in the morning, we lay it all out again and go over what we know. Look at all the facts and whatnot. Because, despite your very much warranted anger towards Marcus, he is still your brother. And family means more than anything to you, Harvey. I can’t let you spend the next thirty years in regret for not trying. You owe that to yourself. Not anyone else.”

“I don’t even know where to start with all this bullshit.”

“That’s where I come in,” You smiled, sitting in his lap with one leg on each side of his. “Look Harvey, you have every single right to be upset. I am pissed at Marcus for doing that to Haley. But I will not let this drive another cavern between you and him. The two of you have been through enough. He fucked up, and he knows it because you’re Harvey goddamn Specter and you told him he did. But you forgave him once. And you forgave your mom. It is worth a shot to hear him out, and I’m not saying it has to be right away either. Just eventually.”

Harvey’s brown eyes darted around your face, that tight line still on his lips. When you tilted your head and batted your lashes, he sighed out, nodding. “Okay, okay fine you’re right.”

“Of course I am,” your smile made him finally unclench the space between his brows. “It’s because I’m really good at knowing who you are, and knowing how to approach a situation. You’re good at being a kick-ass lawyer and I’m good at taming that kick-ass lawyer.” “You love it when I let that animal out of the cage,” he smirked, hands stroking down your thighs. 

“If you refer to yourself as an animal in a cage again I will walk out that door and spend the night at Donna’s.”

“Okay okay,” he grinned ear to ear, pressing kisses on your cheek, then down your neck. “I’m sorry for being so… hostile. Thank you, Yn. For calming me down.”

“You’re welcome, my love.”

“I don’t know what it is that you do, but you make it all disappear.”

“It’s my secret,” you whispered, kissing his lips. “And I won’t ever tell.”

“I bet I could make you tell me,” Harvey winked and grabbed around your waist, taking you with him when he leaned back. 

“Oh, is that a fact?” “No, but it is a challenge.” 

He tangled his hand in your hair, bringing your mouth to his. He tasted like whatever cheap whiskey he had on the plane and mint. You let your body form to his and didn’t mind the way his tongue found yours. Harvey’s hands were gentle as they peeled away the cardigan on your shoulders, tossing it away to be picked up later. 

He took his time, slowly stripping you and easing you on your back. You wrapped your legs around his waist and needed to have his mouth on yours again. He was such a good kisser. So thorough and precise with what he wanted to do to you. 

And he was always very thorough. 

Harvey placed kisses down your chest, down your stomach and to each hip.

“Babe-”

“Shh,” he hushed. “Just let me do what I want. You just lay back and look pretty. Fuck do you look pretty, my love.”

Your heart melted. Normally he had a wicked, dirty tongue but tonight was obviously different. He wanted something to focus on, and if that was going to be you, then so be it. You surely weren’t going to stop him from spreading your knees and tucking his head to your core. 

If Harvey could do one thing for the rest of his life, he’d sure have a hard time picking between you and the law. While he loved his work, your mind and body were two things even the high of winning couldn’t compare to. Harvey loved you. Ferociously. With every part of his body he loved you. 

His tongue circled your clit, and your hand went in his hair to keep him there. The laugh that tumbled from him was nothing short of star-seeing. One thing about Harvey is if you weren’t satisfied and thensome, neither was he. He loved making you cum on his tongue, loved how you tasted. 

It wasn’t long before you warned him you were close, and he just hummed into you, vibrations making you arch up off the bed, tugging equally as hard on his hair as you did the sheets beside you. 

“I will never get sick of making you feel good, Yn. I love that I am the one who gets to spend these moments with you.”

“Harvey,” you swooned, cupping his face to bring him back up so you could kiss him. Your scent was strong on his lips and made you only need him that much more. All it took was a few impatient grabs at his shirt to make him take it off so you could finally get your hands on that body of his. 

All that time in the boxing gym surely paid off. 

Harvey brough your knee up and pushed it flat on the bed, pulling the other one around his hip. He pushed in, chest to chest with you as he sat still for a few moments. 

“I love you so much, Yn,” Harvey whispered, thumb training down your cheek, your neck. He slid it all the way down your arm and laced your fingers together, kissing them as he pulled back. He wouldn’t leave your lips alone, not that you wanted that in the slightest. He was all soft words and pleas of desperation. Telling you how good you felt.

It was like your wedding night all over again. When the two of you met, it had been in a fury of hands and tongues. All fast because there wasn’t a second to waste when it finally happened. But on your big day, he laid you down, just like this, and worshiped you all night long. 

Every word from his mouth was just him telling you how much you meant to him, his body seconding that omission. He was so dedicated to you, to making you feel good. It was all long, smooth strokes of his body inside yours, the warmth of your combined breaths. Swallowing each other's noises of pleasure.

“I am so in love with you,” Harvey smiled. “I am so fucking in love with you.”

You couldn’t hide your smile if you tried. It wasn’t rare that Harvey was affectionate– per say– but this was an illusive moment. He wine and dined you whenever you asked, you were always his plus one anywhere in the world. But it was these small, yet enormous moments of intimacy that you cherished the most. This was a side of Harvey that took a very long time to bring to the surface. And he too realized the weight of just taking his time and being soft with you. 

“I love you too, Harvey,” you whispered against his face, his mouth now busy with the side of your neck. Harvey couldn’t keep his hips slow for long, and they snapped to yours. Air pushed out of your mouth and right into his ear, right where it drove him crazy to hear what he did to you. 

“Fuck, my love, if you keep making those sounds this isn’t exactly going to be how I-”

“Now it’s my turn to take care of you,” you responded, locking your ankles together behind his back.

A shiver ran through his shoulders and he dropped to his elbows, hips driving into you faster and faster. Harder. It didn’t take him long to reach his high, fucking you through it. His heart pounded underneath his skin so hard you could feel it. A slight sweat at the back of his head where hair met skin. 

When he lifted his head, his eyes looked less… weighted. He looked much more himself. Muc more like Harvey and a little less like Mr. Specter. 

You mentally patted yourself on the back. 

There wasn’t anything you could do to convince him to not drag you into the shower down the hall. The warmth of the water, the heaviness in your body only made his fingers on your scalp that much better. He kissed all over, giving your ass a loving smack when getting out before wrapping a big towel around the both of you. 

“Promise in the morning that we can do this all again and then I can make you a big breakfast?”

“Only if you promise that there will be sausage and bacon,” your eyes were droopy, but the smile reached them anyway. 

“Good thing Postmates will go to the grocery store nowadays,” Harvey slipped one of his shirts over your head, straightening it out over your body. “You look so adorable in my clothes.”

“I know, why do you think I wear them when you’re gone?” “You wear my clothes when I’m gone?” You pff’ed out some air, “Don’t act like you don’t notice the suspiciously large pile of your laundry in the hamper when you come back.”

“I don’t think you know how happy that makes me, Yn,” Harvey’s smile was nothing short of pure adoration. He was never short on pure adoration when it came to you. 

“Yes I do,” You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Why do you think I do it?”

“Because you know me. Really really well.”

“That I do.”

Harvey breathed out, shaking his head. “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me for something anyone would do for their husband.”

“Well, in my experience, most wives aren’t nearly as observant or as dedicated as you are, Yn. And I want you to know how much I appreciate you and everything you help me through when I don’t know how to help myself.”

Your eyes melted, much like your heart when he hugged you. Nice and tight and just how you liked them. You always felt impossibly safe with him, and his hugs were impossibly your favorite thing in the world. 

Harvey would listen better in the morning. Especially after a good night's sleep. You just hope that all your efforts will lead him in the right direction. And that direction isn’t the clearest right now, and that’s okay. Both of you know it’s okay to not make a decision as big as something like this.

But you know Harvey will try. And that is all you can ask of him.

[boytearscore]

why can’t i hate you? — matt sturniolo & chris sturniolo.

summary: being best friends with chris and nick meant the world to you, it also meant you had to deal with their brother’s hate, rudeness, eye rolls, mean comments and coldness all the time. but that didn’t bother you, in fact, it was actually always a pleasure to annoy the shit out of him constantly.

warnings: swearing, enemies to lovers, best friends to lovers, love triangle (not threesome), toxic behavior, angst, comedy, possible smut and of course, strong female lead. TW for this chapter: mention of panic attack.)

taglist: @sleepysturniolo, @soshere, @spideylovin, @calisturniolo, @ilovecheese09, @ncm9696 , @klaus223492, @freshloveforthefit (thank you so much for the support, girls 💋)

author’s note: i’d like to say, this is by far the hardest chapter i’ve written. it was so intense and emotional but i hope you guys enjoy it. (feedbacks, comments and anything else are welcome, feel free to speak your mind) that’s it, see ya! chapter one here, chapter two here

chapter three.

after much thinking, you decided to go home and cool off, just the thought of making nick and chris uncomfortable because their brother was a dick make you blood boil.

you texted the group of you three telling them you had some stuff to do and needed to leave early, but that you’d see them soon.

chris was the first one to reply, you were still driving home when his message popped up but you didn’t want to be distracted, so you conclude it’s best to reply later.

as you passed by the tall buildings and palm trees of LA, your mind just went away with thoughts of matthew.

no guy looked at you that way before, sure, a few did hate you for past relationships and even because you always hold them accountable when they do shitty things.

but the coldness of matt’s eyes, there was so much hate, it was almost like he’s holding in something else.

jealousy? you think to yourself but shakes your head right away.

not a fucking chance.

all you know is that his attempts to hurt you didn’t and will not work in the future. the only thing bothering you is not being able to read him as much as you do to all the other guys. there’s a blockage and your curiosity to find out more was actually growing bigger now that he seemed way too angry about you flirting with chris.

finally, you get home, opening the door and throwing the keys on the couch. you go straight to bed, getting yourself comfortable on the between the sheets and buffing loudly. you hear another beep.

oh shit, chris. you thought grabbing your phone immediately, he didn’t reply on the group chat, but sent you a private message.

“did you go home because of what happened earlier?”

you frown, does he know about your argument with matt? fuck, that could not happen, things would get messy and really awkward.

but then another message popped up.

“sorry, i couldn’t control myself… you’re too tempting.”

you let out a huge sigh of relief, smiling at your phone and responding to him.

“trust me, it was very hard to leave after what you did, christopher. but there's indeed an emergency, don’t worry.”

you lied for the first time to chris and a sinking feeling weighed your heart, maybe one day you’d be able to tell him about what actually happened, but that’s not the right time yet.

“hahaha, i guess you should walk on me getting out of the shower more then. ;)”

you smile again, it was so adorable to see chris’ bold and confident side. it was also fucking hot.

“so i can win and make you blush again? pfft, that’d be boring.”

chris types for a while and then stops, then types again and you chuckled, he’s still the cute guy you knew.

“you’re lucky we weren’t in my room, the only reason why i didn’t bend you over that wall and fucked you right there was because one of my stupid brothers could catch us.”

you stare at the message for a couple seconds, the smile turning into an amused smirk. so this is the same guy who facetimes you until he can fall asleep after watching a horror movie?

an exciting feeling took over your whole body, but then you read the last sentence.

''one of my stupid brothers could catch us.”

you close your eyes and the image of matt stabbing you with his gaze is all over your head again.

this was starting to piss you off, you never really thought about matthew that much. he was just annoying and kind of there while you hangout with your best friends, but now? even flirting with someone else over text, you can’t help but think of him.

this is not over.

before you could respond chris, you dozed off.

your phone is suddenly buzzing, you open your eyes confused, the room was already pitch black and then you check the time, it’s 3AM.

“who the fuck is calling at 3AM?” you murmured to yourself but got your answer right away. ”matt?” you almost yell, getting up off the bed and staring at the contact calling.

what he could possibly want from you at 3AM? was he determined to annoy you this much? you roll your eyes and wait for it to go straight to voicemail, expecting him to give up, but then he actually sent you a voice message.

“hey…” his voice was shaken, breathless. and you frowned confused. “chris and nick are out for tonight and…” he stops again and you hear a sob. “i need to take my anxiety medication but i can’t get up. i hate to ask you this but… can you please help me?”

“i’ll be there in 10.”

you immediately text him without thinking twice, leaving your room and grabbing the keys on the couch.

on the way to the triplets house, your mind raced just as much as your heart. you forgot about the argument from this morning, all you wanted to do is get there before anything bad could happen.

after 15 minutes, you finally get there using your spare key to open the house. it was quiet, dark and you could hear low sobs and shaky breaths close to the living room wall. you rush to the cabinet, grabbing his pills and getting a cup of water, following the noise and soon finding matthew on the ground, hugging his knees to his chest, you bend over touching his shoulder and he grabs your hand abruptly, looking at you with a terrified expression. his eyes were swollen and moist, his lips were red from biting it hard and you could feel his whole grip shaking around your hand.

“do not touch me.” he yells but loses strength, leaning over the wall still holding your arm which makes you fall next to him. his eyes widened and he almost looked like he was about to apologise but then he glared at your hand holding his medication. “how did you know where it was?”

“nick.” you reply, and he stays quiet for a while. his grip still on your hand, but you didn’t even notice it. “he told me about what happened years ago…”

he remains quiet, just breathing heavily, his gaze focused on the ceiling of the living room, you also stayed quiet. the pain in his lost eyes made your heart ache, suddenly he loosened his grip and you watched him stretch his hand. you frowned and he rolled his eyes.

“the medication.” he says and you give to him, he takes the cup of water from your other hand and shug all of it after putting the pill into his mouth.

and that’s when shit happens.

you don’t know why, but you feel the urge to hug him. all these years of anger, annoyance and rudeness meant so much less when you just saw how much pain he was feeling. sure, nothing excuses his behaviour, but you imagined the way those kids treated him, the reason why he changed so much and why he refused to talk about it even with the people he trusted the most.

he was just a little kid, for god sake.

and so you do it.

you wrap your arms around him and he tries to push you away. “what the fuck are you doing?” he yells, and you hug him tighter.

“it’s not your fault, matt.” you whisper.

“what are you talking about? get off of me!” he still protested and you repeated again, this time a little louder.

“it’s not your fault. none of this is.”

and then he stops fighting against your hug, you hear loud sobs, his body shaking and his arms squeezing around your waist, he lets his head fall on your shoulder. your hand reaches his hair, gently caressing it and the other rubbing his back.

“i…” he tries to speak but all it came out was loud whimpers, and you hug him even tighter.

“i know…” you tell him quietly.

both of you stayed that way for a while, your arms and hands giving him warmth and comfort. he eventually calms down and when you feel him lift his head up loosening the hug, you look at him and he stares at you, a few tears still falling and you can’t help but wipe them with your fingers. the contact of you skin makes matt close his eyes, he puts a hand over yours and let a huge sigh out.

“why?” he asks, still with his eyes closed.

“what do you mean?” you tilt your head to the side, confused.

“why are you being nice to me when i'm nothing but a jerk to you all the time?” he opens his eyes and stares at you with an expression you’ve never seen before on his face.

you think for a second, biting your lips. matthew is staring at you intensely waiting for a response.

“i don’t know…” you confess. “i just don’t like to see you in pain, that’s all.”

“but why?” he questions you again, this time, he pressed your hand harder against his face.

“because i know how it feels.” you blurt it out without thinking and he doesn’t react, nodding his head quietly.

“fuck…” he finally speaks, avoiding your gaze for the first time that night. he huffs looking at you again, slowly getting closer, now you are inches from each other faces. “you’re the worst.” he mutters, shutting his eyes hard and keeping your palm against his cheek. he lets out another huff of breath and then speaks. “you make me feel... weird."

you grab his face with both hands and make him stare at your eyes, he was still crying.

“tell me how you feel, matt.” you whisper, at this point your chest was about to explode with strong heartbeats. “open your heart to me, i’m not gonna hurt you…” you continue, looking at his teary eyes. “i promise.”

matthew place both of his hand over yours and hesitates a little, you fingers gently rubbing his cheeks and he finally open his mouth to speak when you hear the front door opening.

“matt?” a yell makes both of you turn to the front door, chris and nick just arrived.

they stare at you on the ground and nick rushes over to see what’s happening, while chris is just staring at your hands on his brothers face and his over yours, feeling a mixture of jealousy and worry.

“the fuck happen to you?” nick asks, and you get away from matthew like you just woke up from a trance. you glance at chris by the front door and notice his weird expression, but decide to not think about it since a lot is happening at the moment.

“just had a panic attack.” he shrugs, getting up from the ground and looking at you. “she helped me, i’m okay.”

chris and nick turn to you with eyebrows raised, like they just heard the most absurd thing ever.

“now that i’m not needed anymore…” you pick up the keys from the counter and head to the door not wanting to explain things not even you understand, but chris grabs your arm, you could see his jaw clenched.

“you should’ve called us.” he’s still holding you, but staring at matt who seemed to be back at his usual nonchalant self again. “not her.”

“thought you said you guys were staying the night there. didn’t want to bother your little vacation.” you feel the grip on your arm getting tighter and that infuriates you.

“are you done?” you ask chris angrily and he finally looks at you, immediately letting your arm go. “that’s what i thought.”

you turn to nick waving goodbye, he mutters “i’ll text you later” and you leave without looking at chris or matt.

what the hell just happened?

it’s all you could think on the way home while your phone was blowing up with messages from chris.

[yeonkimintakecare]

Bad Friends

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Summary: After your friends abandon you on your birthday your forced to interact with your ex for the first time since you broke up with him.

Author's Note: this was very therapeutic to me >_<

This is heavily based on situations from my life, and I kind of went crazy while writing this. So enjoy :)

Warnings: angst, lack of communication, as the title says... bad friendships.

You swam through the sea of drunk people looking for a familiar face. Your efforts were useless, it would seem that your friends have abandoned you while you were 4 drinks in. And it was your birthday. You check your phone to see if they have responded, but there’s no notifications. You check their location on snapchat and it tells you that they are at another club on the other side of the city.

'Some friends you guys are' you think to yourself.

You start to tear up, you felt like your friends had been growing away from you lately, but this cements that feeling. They were the ones that insisted on doing something for your birthday and then they stranded you at the club.

As much as you don’t want to you call your brother, knowing he told you not to go out with these girls, but you have no other way of getting home, your friends had your wallet in their car and they had been paying for your drinks prior to this. You dial your brothers number.

“Hello? What's up? I thought you were out with Ashley and Witney? Are you okay?” Your brother, Taehyung, asks and just like that you can’t hold back your tears. You had missed being this close with him. You guys used to talk all the time, but when you moved away you ghosted him and his girlfriend, Minji, who was like a sister to you.

“I went to the bathroom and they were gone, *sob* I’ve looked all over, they didn’t even text me. I think they left me to go to another club and I have no money and my phone is almost dead and I’m way too *hic* drunk for this.” You say while sobbing.

“Calm down, ____, I’m out of town with Minji but I’ll send somebody to come and get you, just send me your location.” He said calmly.

“Send who?” you ask weakly, fearing that you may already know the answer.

“I’ll ask some of my friends in the city, but most likely it will be Jungkook, I just got off the phone with him and I know he’s not doing anything.” You groaned at his response.

'Fucking great.'

“I know, but you need a ride home and we don’t have a lot of options. Send me your location quick so I can get you home, loser.” He said with a chuckle. You send him your location and 2 minutes later you receive the text

“Sorry dude, Jungkook was the only person who could come and get you right away.” You put your head in your hands and leaned up against the side of the building.

Jungkook was your brother's best friend, but also your ex.

They had been friends since they were preteens and you had dated him for 4 years in high school and college, but you ended things with him because you guys had been fighting constantly. Then you suddenly got a job in another state.

The break up was part of the reason you lost touch with Tae and Minji, you didn't want to make them choose between you and JK. You were scared that they wouldn't choose you, so you left before they could disappoint you.

Unfortunately, things didn’t work out there and you had recently moved back. You started talking to your brother again, you apologized to them both, realizing it was stupid to think that they wouldn't move heaven and earth for you.

but... you haven’t seen Jungkook since you broke up with him. But of course you were so unlucky that you were going to have to see him tonight... while you're drunk... and crying... and completely alone...

Fifteen minutes pass before you see a car that you know too well roll up. You see Jungkook in the driver’s side of the car. He stares at you for a second before giving you a small wave. You give an awkward smile and a head nod before you make your way to his car.

‘God. This is going to be awkward.’

When you step into the car it immediately smells like him, his cologne mixed with his natural smell. There was many times where you smelled something similar that would make you think of him while you were away. Now here you are and it's actually him.

Neither of you speak besides small a small 'hi" and when you briefly asked if it was okay to plug your phone into his charger.

You stare at your lap, twiddling your thumbs. He focuses on the road, eventually your phone turns on and you see decide to go check social media. You open up instagram and you see Witney’s story, and her and Ashley are at a bar with two guys you had seen them talking to earlier. You scoff at the idea of your only friends ditching you on your birthday for men that were strangers. You were beyond pissed.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook asks, putting a hand on one of yours and rubbing his thumb on the back of it. You thought this would make it awkward, but it didn't it felt almost normal. Like this is how it always should have been.

“Maybe, I’m just really drunk right now." You paused. Unsure if you should ask this question. But again, you're too drunk to make normal decisions, so you just do it. "I’m going to ask you a question and I want an honest answer, don’t use kid gloves for me." You stare at him until he gives a small nod, his eyes darting between you and the road.

"Am I really that unlovable?” You say while you feel the tears start to well in your eyes again. You saw his hands tighten around the steering wheel while so hard his knuckles were turning white.

“Now, what in the fuck makes you think that?” He said, obviously trying to not make me feel bad but also wanting to yell at me.

“If I was a lovable person wouldn’t my friends WANT to hang out with me on my birthday? I just feel like I’m such a fucking failure, I couldn’t even make it work at my job and I can’t make friends. And the only person, that’s not my brother, who made me feel safe and comfortable, I pushed away.” You hide your face in your hands as you start to cry. You really must be drunk because somehow this turned into you venting about your feeling to your ex… including your feelings about him.

Jungkook pulls his car over onto the side of the rode and he turns to you and grabs your hands. “You are one of the people in this whole wide world who deserves to be loved. You are one of the kindest people I know and you are beautiful inside and out.” He used one hand to grab yours and the other to hold your face and to make you look at him. “You are not a failure. Sometimes jobs just don’t work out, its okay, you’ll get a new one, and eventually you will find the place that you are meant to be at."

You stare into each other's eyes for awhile. For the first time in awhile, you realize how much you missed this. how much you missed him. He always brought you so much comfort back then, and then you broke his heart. Why couldn't you have just made it work? Why did you feel you had to leave?

"Also your friends suck, that not on you, that’s on them to let you slip away.” he says, breaking the spiral that you had been falling into.

It made you think about why you left back then. You pull your hand from his and turned to look out the window. "Well they always leave anyways, so there's never a reason to get too attached." you say solemnly.

"That's sad that you think that." you turn to see him staring at you, eyebrows furrowed, you look away again, not wanting to see his pity for you. "And also, very untrue."

Your head snaps to look at him. "Excuse me?" you ask, getting defensive.

"it's not true. I think on some level it might be, but at some point you started pushing people away before they could leave you. You pushed me away, I know you're getting close to your brother and Minji again, but when you moved away you ignored them the whole time."

You stare at him, slack jawed. "I'm not the only one at fault here. Not in this car at least. I will admit that I ignored Tae and Minji, and I have apologized to both of them and made my amends. But, need I remind you about what happened between us? We had issues long before I decided to move away. You were distant, you know you were." You start to tear up. This was a constant fight between the two of you back then.

~ flashback - 3 years ago ~

You were sitting on the couch, seething. It was your anniversary and he was going to take you on a date to celebrate the 4 years you have been together. You had been sitting on the couch, ready, for the past three hours. No messages from him, for why he might be late.

Normally, you wouldn't be mad about this, but recently it's become a real problem with him. He never used to be late, but now he always was. You fought with him about it last week, when he was going to help you prepare for a big presentation at your job, but he never showed up.

He called you the day after, apologizing, claiming he got caught up at work, and passed out as soon as he got home. You told him that it hurt that you were "forgettable" to him. This presentation was a big deal for your career, and that you couldn't focus on it because you were wondering if something bad had happened to him. You left a million messages and got nothing back from him.

You still did well on the presentation, but you had stayed up most of the night worrying about him and had forgotten your lunch at home and was going to have to skip it because you were in such a rush to get to work that morning. You fought with him for a while longer and then hung up, needing to get back to work.

An hour later, Jungkook showed up with food from your favorite restaurant and a promise to make it up to you this weekend for your anniversary. You chat with him for a bit, pushing aside your anger, because he's here, right now. putting in the work.

When you return from your lunch you get called into your bosses office. "____, you did amazing in our meeting this morning." You give a smile and a a small nod in thanks. "There's an opening in one of our other city locations. It's quite far away, but I think you might be just the right fit for it."

You sit there, slack jawed for a second. You heard about the position opening in the Chicago location, but you never dreamed of getting it. It's a higher position than you are currently and its highly coveted. "oh, um, thank you, I appreciate the offer, when would I need to go by?" You ask, there are so many details you'd need to know, I mean what about your friends and family here?

"As soon as possible, we have housing that we can provide, and we will pay for your transition there." She says, with a smile. She's been your boss for 5 years now, and you've always gotten along.

"Can I have a couple days to think about it? I just have a lot of things up in the air in my personal life right now, and I don't want to make any decisions without really thinking about it first." She gives you a comforting smile again.

"Of course, take the time you need. We will need to know by next week Friday if we need to find somebody else for the position though." You give a small nod and thanks. "Ok, now tell me about your anniversary, that's today isn't it?" she says, you laugh and tell her about your plans with Jungkook.

You think about her offer all day, deciding to talk about it with Jungkook tonight. Chicago is halfway across the country and it would be really hard for you guys, and you aren't in the most stable place right now.

You get dressed up, you guys always go to the restaurant you had your first date at for your anniversary and then a walk in the park. But instead, here you are, alone on the couch. You sit there for another hour, trying to get in touch with your boyfriend.

Once it hits hour four you decide to go take a shower and have a good cry. You were used to this kind of stuff from your friends, but never your boyfriend. And he knew how insecure you were about being an afterthought to most people.

You woke up the next morning with dozens of missed calls from Jungkook and various texts apologizing and asking for you to call him back. You don't. Honestly, you're tired of it all. You thought you'd wake up today feeling better, but you just feel a pit in your stomach.

It was the weekend and you decided not to leave your apartment and do a deep cleaning of your home. Maybe if you could get a clean house, you could also clear your head. You talk to your brother on the phone while you clean.

"Maybe something came up again, I know he's been working really hard lately." Tae offers. For some reason this made you mad. Tae was your brother, he shouldn't be defending Jungkook. He should be mad with you, or at least pretend to be.

"You know, I don't really care, he should still communicate with me. It's one thing to miss a date, even though it's actually been several dates that he's missed, but he's not showing up, and then when I'm worried about where he is... he's not answering. It's not usually until the day after when I finally hear from him." You rant for awhile.

Tae stays pretty silent and you feel like he's staying quiet because he doesn't agree with you. You abruptly stop your rant to say "Okay, well I guess I have stuff to do and I'd rather talk to a wall, they might actually give me something to work off of" you say, giving more attitude to your brother than he probably deserved, but you were angry right now and his silence was just making it worse.

You blast your music when you get a text from Minji.

"Hey, I heard you were having a rough go of it." she texted.

"yeah, I'm angry cleaning my whole apartment right now." you respond.

"Yeah, I saw on my laptop that you have been listening to your punch that fucker in the face playlist. Pretty intense name btw."

"yeah well, i feel pretty intense right now. if the grout on my bathroom floor was a person, I would want to punch it in the face."

"Are you sure that it's grout that you want to punch in the face or a certain boyfriend that has been flakey...?"

"maybe both. i have the capabilities to be angry at multiple things at once, i'm talented in that way."

"I'm sure you are, but is that good for you?"

"maybe it's not, but it's the way i feel right now."

"I'm just worried that you are letting this anger seep into your other relationships... like the one with your brother..."

You roll your eyes. of course, now you're the bad guy. You just wish, literally, anybody would be on your side. But instead you're the unlovable one, and nobody is every going to put you first.

You leave Minji on read the rest of the day. No longer answering any messages, you turn your phone off. You start to feel better after you're done and take a shower. You do a full care routine and come out with a clear head.

You turn your phone on to see your boyfriend has been trying to get in touch with you again. You ignore his messages to start making dinner instead. You're almost done cooking when you hear your doorbell ring. The pit in your stomach that you spent all day trying to get rid of comes back.

You look in the security camera to see Jungkook at the door. You start to walk away from the door when you hear him say "____, I know you're in there. I can hear the music from out here." You sigh and open the door.

"What do you want?" You say, holding the door open enough so that only you can fit into the crack.

"Can we talk? Like actually talk, not fight." He asks. You want to get angry at the way he says it, but you can see he meant it genuinely and not in a backhanded way. You open the door all the way to let him in.

"Fine. Talk." You say after you both step in to your home.

"I'm sorry." He says and you immediately want to forgive him, but you know you won't forgive yourself if you give it to him that easily.

"Sorry about what?" You say, not letting up.

"I'm sorry about missing our dates. I've just been working so much lately, I've-" You start to feel the anger bubbling to the surface, you cut him off before he can make you any more upset.

"You think I'm mad because you're missing dates? I don't care about going to dinner. I care that you aren't communicating with me where you are. I wait up into the night and I worry about you, whether you got into an accident, if you're eating okay, if you're getting enough sleep. That is what I care about."

He stares at you, obviously not sure what to say to you. He finally says a small, quiet "I'm sorry." and you stare at him. You want to forgive, you so want to just hug him and be over all of this, but you just don't trust him anymore. You've been in this situation with other guys and you're not about to have your heartbroken again.

"I think we need to take a break." You say, he looks away from you.

"If that's what you think is best."

"it is."

"Okay then." he gets up and walks out the door. You let yourself cry and then finish making your dinner. You keep your phone off the rest of the weekend, you make some decisions.

On Monday morning you walk into your boss's office and accept the position. You vacate your home in the next week and move as much as you can to Chicago.

You tell your brother and Minji, they agree to send you some of your harder to pack things, and house some of the other valuables until you can figure out what to do with them. They seem upset with you about your sudden break up and sudden move, so you contact them less and less. You've only spoken to Jungkook a handful of times and it's mainly short, one-word messages.

You grow so depressed while you're in Chicago, your personal and professional life suffer as a consequence to it. You essentially go to work, bide your time there, come home, maybe eat if you have it in you to make a meal, and go to bed.

One day, you get a call from your old boss. "____, I haven't heard from you in forever, how are you?" she says with that warm voice. It's been months since you've let yourself talk to somebody who cares and it immediately brings you to tears. You cry and tell her about everything your break up, your isolation, your depression, everything you've been feeling for the past 8 months.

"I see, well I'm very sorry to hear that ____. Would it help if I could get you transferred back to here?" She offers, that immediately eases the pit in your stomach that you've been feeling for weeks.

"Would that be possible?" you ask, your voice small with embarrassment.

"Of course that would be possible, Your position here is filled but there is an opening in the higher ups, let me see what strings I can pull."

You immediately feel at ease. You might be able to go home! Then realization hits you. You've spent the last couple months isolating yourself from all of your loved ones, and now you're going to have to make amends.

You immediately call your brother and you both have a long talk over the phone. You open up about how you felt like they were judging the decisions you made and that you were scared that if he had to pick you or his friend, that he would pick his friend.

"____, there is literally nobody in this world that I would choose over you." he says.

"Hey, what the fuck." Minji says in the background, this being her first time speaking up.

"Obviously it's a tie between you guys and I would never have to choose between you guys... right?" he says and you both mumble a yes, obviously.

You all continue to talk through everything you've been feeling with each other, them feeling hurt by you pushing them away, but you work through things, you all cry, and you start to feel better about it all.

You get notice that you are being transferred back home, its not a hard transition, as you never fully moved here and you didn't really make any new friends. but about 2 weeks before your move, you get a message from two girls you went to college with.

"OMG, ____ we heard you're moving back, it's been forever, we should do something, right?" texted Ashley.

You ponder it, you had been best friends with them in high school and then when you moved on to your jobs you'd only really meet with them once a year. But, you are trying to fix your relationships, and don't hang out with many people besides your brother and his partner (and you used to hang out with you boyfriend...)

You decide to just do it. "for sure, lets get dinner when I get back :) "

You talk with them a lot before and after your move. They're a lot different to you now, but you make the effort to understand their interests. They really want to take you out clubbing for your birthday, but you tell them that it's not really your scene anymore.

"So how's your relationship status?" Witney asks, taking a sip of her espresso martini.

"ah, non-existent right now." you say while avoiding eye contact.

"I thought you were dating that hot tattooed guy. What was his name?" Ashley offers, sharing a look and a smirk with Witney that isn't lost on you.

"Ah well, we broke up a while ago." You say with a sad smile while raising your cocktail to your lips.

"You should totally reach out to him!" Witney says suddenly, making you choke on your drink.

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you don't know what could happen, maybe he's still into you." Ashley throws out. You forgot how much they loved drama, and how if they don't get it, they'll cause it.

"Yeah, it wouldn't really matter if he did still like me, we just didn't work. We couldn't communicate with each other the way we should." you say, hoping that's the end of it.

"But he's hot, isn't that enough. at least you could get one or two good, hot nights with him." Witney says with a sly smirk.

"Yeah, I'm over this conversation. I'm not going to hook up with him, we are done and that it." You say, letting your mask slip a bit.

"Geez, sorry. We were just trying to get you some." Witney says while Ashley rolls her eyes at you. They stay silent. They're mad at you.

You inhale. "I was thinking," They look up at you. "Maybe we should go out for my birthday." They both perk up immediately and start talking over each other about which bars we should go to, what events are going down, is there any parties going on, what we should wear.

Hey, maybe this won't be that bad.

~ present day ~

"You're right. I was distant. I was so focused on work, and I just thought you'd stay there for me, even though I was neglecting you. You leaving was a big wake up call for me. I had to really change the way I thought about my work and personal life and make them separate." He says, looking at you. You give him a small smile, his hand reaches your face and wipes of a tear. You put your hand over his and lean into it.

"I know I haven't said it. But is missed you. So much." You say, not breaking eye contact, not wanting to ruin this moment with the man you once loved.

"I missed you too." he says quietly. You stare up at him and you begin to smile through your tears and you can feel his breath getting closer as his hand stays on your face, you take this time to hold his face and kiss him. You passionately kiss while his hands make his way into your hair and your arms are wrapped around his neck. It’s like the two of you were trying to get closer, but there was no physical way for that to happen.

When you both finally come up for air and you both are out of breath, your foreheads touch as you look into his eyes.

“You didn’t push me away. I’m right here, I’ve always been here, and I always will be.” He whispers to you and you feel tears slide down your face again as he kisses them away.

~ time jump - a year and four months later ~

You are trying to buckle your heel when you get a knock on the door. You open it to find your handsome boyfriend wearing a nice suit, but with no tie. If you didn't know him, you'd think he was a mafia boss from a romance novel with his tattoos and jewelry. But you know that he could never hurt anybody.

"You look stunning." He says, giving you a bouquet of your favorite flowers and a kiss. The kisses go on for awhile, neither of you coming up for air before he goes "Are you ready to go?" finally breaking your brief make out. You nod in response.

You go to your the fine dining restaurant you always go to on this day. The food was great, as always, and you take a walk in the park. You arms are linked together as you both people watch and and chat about your day.

You come up on a bench and you both have a seat. You see somebody hiding behind a tree. You go to point it out to your boyfriend, but when you turn to him, he is no longer sitting next to you. Instead, he is on the ground, down on one knee. Your hands fly to cover your mouth in shock.

"____, We've had some ups and downs, but we've come out of them all stronger and better than before. In our time apart, I realized, I never want to not have you in my life. Will you please do me the honor of marrying me?" You fly into his arms, toppling him to the ground.

"Of course I will." You say while picking yourselves up and kissing him over and over. Out, from behind the tree, comes Tae and Minji, recording and taking photos. You hug them and cry, Minji compliments the beautiful ring that now sits on your finger.

You thank yourself for the people you've surrounded yourself with, and you thank them for sticking by you, even when you're being unreasonable. People who actually love you aren't easily pushed away, and you're so thankful for that.

[readychilledwine]

Matching Wounds

Summary - The first High Lord's meeting after the war with Hybern brings some old memories up that Lyria and Rhys would have rather forgotten, leaving their mates to try to patch together wounds they can't see.

Warnings - degrading language, asshole brothers, hinting to PTSD without getting into full signs and symptoms

Prompt - Day 2 - Comfort

A/n - Happy @polyacotarweek! I've been asked about Lyria and Rhysand's dynamic as well as Azriel and Feyre's, and I felt today was a good day to give a preview into it, and into what Olive Branch will focus on, which is the comfort Rhys and Lyria found in each other UTM.

This is a non-sex based swinging dynamic. Rhysand is more of a secondary romantic partner to strictly Lyria, as Azriel is with Feyre, which is vastly different than the relationship we see in Fours Company between Lyria, Az, and Nessian.

💙 Meet Lyria Here 💙

✨️ Poly+ACOTAR Masterlist ✨️

There was a reason Rhysand had promised Lyria she would never attend a High Lord's meeting. She was clinging to him in his bed now as Feyre and Azriel just watched. Heavy sobs had turned into small sniffles as Rhys stared at the wall, eyes lost and hand moving absentmindedly along her exposed spine. 

Feyre had only gotten to see Lyria once under the mountain and now she knew why, “Rhysand's whore,” the term had been spat at her by her own older brother before he did truly spit at her feet. “Rhysand's Whore,” who had been trapped in his room. Wasting her days away in the same style of dresses Feyre wore, sitting on his lap the nights Feyre wasn't. 

It was ironic, really. The four of them, Eris, and Lucien all knew Rhysand never touched Lyria, never laid a finger on her skin until they had agreed to this, yet to the outside world, Rhys had already had her in ways Lyria had never experienced. 

Feyre knew from the bond that Rhysand was lost in his own mind as well. Lost in the regret he felt. Lost in the images of different red hair, paler skin, and dead eyes. 

“Ideas?” She whispered softly to Azriel. 

“Dinner and leaving them be,” his scarred hand still held Feyre's perfect one. “It's all we can offer them. You and I do not know what happened to them fully. We do not know what brought them together. We just know Rhys refused to be away from her and brought her here once you freed everyone.”

“Do you want to fly to the bakery they love and pick up dinner with me?”

Azriel rose a brow before kissing her tattooed hand. “Of course.”

Rhysand felt himself clinging to Lyria. Clinging to the soft fabric of her dress, clinging in her textured hair, clinging to the scent of her skin. He loves Feyre. Loves her so dearly and completely, but the comfort he found in Lyria was unmatched. 

She had been there during his darkest nights, whispering how she saw him, how she knew him beyond that mask he wore. 

And now she was paying the price for being his comfort. “Rhysand's whore,” the name replayed itself in his mind over and over. He had watched it land on Lyria. Watched the light in her eyes flicker, watched her shrink into herself, watched her push Azriel, Nesta, and Cassian away.

But she clinged to him. The same way he did her. She wanted him, but she waited until they were home. Amarantha's whore and Rhysand's whore. What a fucking pair, he thought bitterly. 

Lyria had her head buried in Rhysand's neck, breathing in his scent and feeling it wash over her. She thought nothing of it as he laid them back, running fingers through her hair. “Our mates went out.” 

She nodded, feeling his warmth as his head turned to hers. “They shouldn't miss date night because you and I are sad.” 

Rhys simply hummed, hand going to the hair at the back of her head and tilting her face up toward his. “No, no, they should not.” Rhys continued to massage her scalp as whiskey eyes held his. “You know nothing they said was true, right?”

“It does not make it hurt any less. Even if my brother was just saying it as a mask. It also doesn't make those memories of that place go away.”

Rhys understood all too well, pulling her impossibly closer. “I'm sorry I could not protect you soon.”

A soft kiss hit his jawline. “And I'm sorry I couldn't protect you.” 

“He doesn't need protection. Big bad illyrian baby,” Feyre's voice was sarcastic as she and Azriel came back to the room, bags of food in hand. “We are going to leave you two alone, but we brought you your favorites.”

“Why leave?” Rhys rose a single brow, but refused to look away from Lyria. “We Should all eat together. Be together.”

Azriel looked to Feyre, the two of them communicating silently. “We can feel you two wanting to be alone. We're offering that.”

Lyria sighed. “Sometimes wanting to be alone isn't the best answer. Stay. We can all take comfort in each other and all help each other get our minds off what happened.” Azriel looked to Feyre caving as he walked her over to the couches. “Come on, mister High Lord.” Rhys rolled his eyes as he was pulled over, Lyria sitting beside him as Azriel sat beside Feyre. Silence was between the four of them, relishing in the safety and comfort of each other. 

“So, is no-one going to talk about it?” Lyria's face grew into an all too familiar snake-like grin. “Surely you all saw the absolute monstrosity of an outfit father was wearing.”

Azriel smirked at his mate, “Gossip.”

“Learned it from you,” she turned to Feyre. “And you.” She kissed Rhysand's cheek, “And most definitely from you. Now talk about my family with me to make me feel better.”

“The little things make you happy, don't they, darling?” Rhys turned her jaw. “Such a simply pretty girl.”

Feyre's eyes lit up. “The prettiest girl.”

“My pretty girl,” Azriel reminded them. 

“Our pretty girl.” Rhysand and Feyre both said.

“Our pretty girl who deserves all the affection tonight,” Feyre continued. “Maybe she and I will run away and you two can brood and compare shadows.”

Azriel took his turn choking before laughing. “We don't brood all the time.”

“Yes you do.”

Lyria leaned into Rhysand's shoulder, feeling lighter from the distraction. I love you, he sent into her mind. We all love you. You are safe here.

So are you, she reminded him. You are safe and loved, too. This is a good distraction. They are stunning together.

It is, and they are. She loves Azriel very much. By the way, it's not Beron's worst outfit to date. 

Lyria's eyes grew wide turning to Rhysand as Feyre and Azriel continued to agree playfully. “Show me?”

“Of course, darling.”

General Taglist:

@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanagers @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho @mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @loneliestluvr @eternallyelvish @azrielsmate3 @daughterofthemoons-stuff @meritxellao @aria-chikage @hungryforbatboys

Poly+Acotar Week 2024 Taglist:

@amara-moonlight @toporecall @littlestw01f @prettylittlewrites @anuttellaa @nayaniasworld @123345566

[ladykailitha]

Staking My Claim Part 5

We are almost done just one more after this one! I thought about posting this on Tuesday to give the first chapter of the second book of Boy With a Bat some love.

But with this one literally two chapters away from being finished it didn't seem fair to postpone this one.

Here we have Nurse Jeff and sweet Eddie.

Pt 1| Pt 2|Pt 3| Pt 4|

@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

***

Once they other three were gone Jeff turned to Steve and Eddie.

“Right the real reason I’m here is because I’m going to make you two don’t jump each other before Steve is well enough.”

Steve and Eddie looked at each other and blushed.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Jeff said, crossing his arms and leaning back on one foot.

“Eddie go get us some lunch and I’ll make sure Stevie here isn’t going to throw up again.”

Eddie nodded and grabbed his keys. He gave Steve a kiss on the cheek and dashed off, leaving Steve alone with Jeff.

Jeff turned on the light in the kitchen to better see Steve’s face. He held Steve’s chin and turned his head gently to the light and away from it.

“Your dilation is a little slow,” he said. “That’s not good.”

Steve nodded. “I’ve had concussions before. It feels a bit like that. The dizziness, the nausea, the pounding in my head.”

Jeff nodded. “I think I still have some anti-nausea medication and if I don’t, we can try some Pepto, okay?”

Steve nodded. “I wouldn’t have done anything,” he said softly.

Jeff raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“With Eddie,” he whispered. “Not before we got back to Hawkins, anyway.”

“Oh?”

Steve nodded again. “I’m bit too romantic for my own good. And having the chance I might ruin our first time with puking is the last thing I’d want.”

“First time?” Jeff asked over his shoulder as he went to the bathroom.

“I meant it when I licked him, he’s mine now.”

Jeff chuckled.

He came back out holding two bottles. “Looks like I have two kinds of anti-nausea meds. One is very heavy duty, so we’ll try the other one first. We don’t want to mix something heavier if the knock out drug is still in your system.”

Steve nodded.

“In fact,” Jeff muttered. “I should call my mom.”

He set the two bottles on the counter next to Steve and went to the phone.

After a brief conversation Jeff picked up the heavier medication. “She actually recommended the tougher meds to counter whatever was given to you. She even wants you to stop by on your way home so she can look you over.”

Steve blushed. “She doesn’t have to do that. I’ll be fine.”

Jeff raised an eyebrow and Steve ducked his head. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. My sister is a lot like you, you know.”

“Hmm?”

“She’s the oldest,” Jeff murmured, “so she was brought up that she had to take care of everyone else and couldn’t ask for help.”

“Oh.”

Jeff rubbed the top of his head. “Look, man. I get it, I really, really do. If your parents are as half the shit the rumor mill makes them out to be, you’ve been abandoned and neglected all your life. Somehow, someway you became the defacto older brother to the weirdest group of latchkey kids I’ve ever seen and you think you have to do everything for them because you didn’t get to have that. But thinking like that will only wear you down and out.”

“It’s hard,” Steve admitted. “They’ve been through so much.”

Jeff let out a sigh. “I get that too. You and those kids have been through some heavy ass shit. I also get that you think that because you’re the oldest you can’t tell them what you’re feeling because you don’t want to burden them.”

“You’re Robin and Nancy’s age,” Steve said quietly.

Jeff frowned, not quiet understanding the comment. Then it dawned on him. “Eddie isn’t.”

Steve’s head shot up. “What?”

“I know it’s hard to remember because he graduated with me and the other guys,” Jeff said. “But Eddie is older then you. He was supposed to graduate in ‘84.”

Steve blinked. “Oh. Yeah.”

“So lean on him,” Jeff said. “Yeah, you’re attracted to him. And you definitely want to fuck. But let him in emotionally, too. I think you’ll find he’s as a great a listener as he is a talker.”

Steve blushed.

Just then the door swung open to reveal Eddie with a large bag of McDonald’s.

“I didn’t know what you would like,” Eddie said with a grin, “so I got a little of everything I could think of.”

Steve smiled. “I’m sure I’ll find something I like then.”

They all dug in and polished off most the bag of fast food.

“Seriously,” Steve said, “why does greasy food always the best hangover cure?”

Eddie cocked his head to the side. “I don’t know. It defies all logic. You would think it would be stuff that was easy on your stomach like toast and rice would be better, but nope!”

Steve took Eddie’s hand. “Thanks for taking care of me. I appreciate it.”

Eddie blushed to his roots. “You don’t need to thank me. I just did what the next person would have done.”

Jeff snorted. “Bullshit. You went above and beyond and you know it. There is no shame in accepting his thanks. You did good, man.”

Eddie shoved his hair in front of his face to hide his embarrassment. “You’re welcome, Stevie.”

“I think you should go lay back down,” Jeff suggested to Steve. “We’ll be here if you need us.”

Steve nodded and wandered back to Eddie’s room. He closed the door and laid down, sure that he wouldn’t sleep as he had already slept a lot. But it appeared he needed it more than he thought as he drifted back to dreamland.

***

Part 6

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @bookworm0690 @vecnuthy @bookbinderbitch @littlewildflowerkitten @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @scheodingers-muppet @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @genderless-spoon @anne-bennett-cosplayer @irregular-child @lololol-1234 @monsterloverforhire @mugloversonly @live-the-fangirl-life @hellfireone @lublix @breealtair @croatoan-like-its-hot @f0xxyb0xxes @jamieweasley13 @r0binscript @confuseddisastertm @sleepdeprivedflower @thedragonsaunt @dissociatingdemon @dragonmama76

[headless609]

Cartman Angst

Ah Cartman, the bigoted, racist, sexist, overweight, bully, bullied, and a victim. Cartman is my favorite character and it’s not just because he is hilarious. If you watch the show and really looks into it, you can see why Cartman acts the way he does. Let’s start with the obvious. Cartman is fat. We see the show make fun and jab at his weight sense season 1. We see side characters such as Liane and his eye doctor to the main characters aka Kyle, Stan and Kenny making fun of his weight. Especially Kyle. I don’t think people realize how fucking mean Kyle was to Cartman (and Cartman hadn’t even done anything evil yet btw). Kyle is always and stills calls Cartman ‘fatsss.’ Speaking of the earlier seasons, remember Cartman’s eye doctor? Y’know, the one who had no chill and continuously bullied Cartman by calling him porky and just being devious? Yeah him.

Next I want to talk about Cartman’s home life. And it’s bad, like it’s as bad as Kenny. Not only is Cartman quite poor but his dad is gone and his mom is a prostitute. Not only does Cartman not get scolded by his mom but his mom brings in men that are there for sex. Sound bad? Yeah, you can imagine a guy finding Cartman’s room. And you might think, ‘Dude, you’re reading into this way too seriously.’  

We see that Cartman has been assaulted by his cousin and his Uncle, Jessie. We see this in Le Petite Tourette’s and in Fun with Veal. And this is just two of the many other occasions. 

Everyone knows the episode Scott Tenorman Must Die, where Cartman snapped and went batshit crazy. But most people don’t remember the banned episode where we see Scott again. Where we learn a dark truth. Cartman and Scott were step-brothers, Cartman had killed his own father, the father he had cried himself to sleep wishing he’d come back. And when we see him admit that he’s crying because of him being half ginger to his friends, all I can think is , ‘ Really? After all the tears that your pillow soaks?’ But then you think, would you tell some kids that have always bullied you because of your weight and you thought only hung out with you cause you bully people with them why you’re actually sad? HELL NO! Cartman may be crazy and a sociopath but he ain’t stupid. The reason he is able to stay with the gang is that they think he is cool (which they don’t) heck the only reason why they became a friend group was because Cartman bullied Pip! And with all that piled up, Cartman becomes insecure about himself and to make him feel better lashes out an everyone else, believing he is a victim in every scenario and everyone deserves to pay. 

And that is the debrief of the monster, Eric Cartman. The most hated South Park child in the show. 

There is so much I want to say about Cartman, and I tried to fit it in one Notes page. And I hate it whenever one says they hate Cartman because he is a nazi and all that shit. I understand, but please peel his onion skin and you’ll understand why Cartman is such a good character. This one is the longest one yet so thanks for those who were able to read the entire thing. 🥲

[edibleashell]

TUA S4 feels

Pretty sure that Umbrella Academy S4 finale left a permanent scar on my psyche. Still one of my favorite shows but I might just end after season 3 in future rewatches. So many issues with S4.

In like episode 1 we got Ben and Jennifer touching and that started a countdown to the end of the world and the whole season was just junk to fill that time. So many good ideas that weren't done properly at all. Shuffling their powers? Alternate timelines? Hargreaves owning pretty much everything? Abigail just being alive? Pointless.

Luther was just a repeating loop of stripper and home decorating jokes.

Diego should have been a martial arts instructor or something not a depressed delivery guy. A bunch of jokes about him getting out of shape only to reveal that he's still jacked. He throws a potted plant and misses. His arc is just Big Sad for no reason and the relationships he built in the first three seasons were apparently irrelevant, if anyone would have been taking care of Safety Klaus it would have been him.

Allison's character was just an accessory to Klaus, after three seasons of her trying to reclaim the family she lost she ended up spending more time as a tool to Klaus's arc than she did with Claire. And Ray just being casually written out was so disrespectful.

Klaus, oh poor Klaus, my favorite character, what did they do to you? He should have been a nurse or something but instead he was paranoid, then pissed off because the writers decided that Klaus would equate marigold with drugs and just fall right off the wagon? And then he goes to some sketchy guy he owes money to even though S1 Klaus is shown just buying drugs from random people? All to justify his prisoner plot, none of which had any real impact. And he can fly for a second for some reason. Okay.

Five working for the CIA was bad. He should have been the retired fun uncle to Claire and Grace. After spending fifty years trying to get back to his family why did he keep leaving them? Why did he hook up with his brother's wife after only six years? And am I supposed to believe that in every timeline he has the same haircut? That none of the other Fives lost their arm? How did he never notice his boss's blatant umbrella tattoo? He just casually strolls through "his" apocalypse as though he doesn't have ptsd, and why were he and Lila living off sewer rats when they had infinite timelines to scavenge?

I was so excited to see Ben witg the family but one episode in he becomes a bomb and fucks off with a girl who can hardly be called a character.

Viktor was the only character I thought got some form of authenticity and justified growth, his arc kind of seemed like a ripoff of S3 Klaus though. And we missed out on what could have been a really beautiful scene of him drawing the upside down umbrella on his arm.

Lila went from "I don't want to be like my mom" to a motherhood cliche. And what was the deal with her family? She just found her parents and they immediately accepted her or something? Was there another Lila in this universe? That made no sense. If anyone would have joined the CIA it would have been her. Her and Diego should have been weird parents teaching their kids how to fight and kill but instead they got some domestic life that those characters never belonged in.

And there's so much more! Abigail is alive? Hardly relevant. Why did she body snatched Gene, it didn't really seem to change anything. The Keepers existed only to be a minor obstacle in the last episode. And are her and Reggie aliens? Why? How? What's the point?

AND DURANGO? THAT'S A CAR! Harland named marigold and for a farm kid that makes sense (though the retconned acceptance of that word into Umbrella vocabulary was irksome) But Durango? Abigail is a scientist and she names The Bad Dust after an SUV? Why?

AND WHY WAS THERE ZERO QUEERNESS? Each of the first three seasons had some sort of queer arc but not this one. I still wonder if some higher-up didn't intentionally assassinate the show as backlash for the immense respect S3 gave Elliot Page.

One last thing, music is a big part of the show, they've always put such thought and care into the soundtrack and it makes sense knowing who the creators are, so why, of all songs, was Baby Damn Shark the first song to be featured in like three episodes? It seems intentionally disrespectful.

I'm done, rant over, I'll never recover from this.