#the only friend i have just calls me annoying and is just cruel to me about everything i say or do

[autistic-beshelar]

ah yes dungeon meshi, the manga where an autistic man gets repeatedly bullied by people he thinks are his friends and not a single person supports him

[miakilledherself]

i think im going crazy i want to cry very loudly and hit things and hurt myself because i’m so lonely

[dollfacefantasy]

Playing to Win

pairing: stepdad!leon kennedy x fem!reader

summary: your new stepdad isn't much older than you, yet he has the audacity to ask you to call him daddy?

cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, dubcon, daddy kink, humiliation kink, spanking, praise/degradation

word count: 4.3k

a/n: i got a little silly hehe. this is technically my first commission. if you’re interested, check out my ko-fi. as always i appreciate the support, smoochies.

this is my first commission written for my beloved @nexysworld. without her, this would never have come about. she's a great writer and such a sweet person. you all should go check out her blog if you haven't already.

“You want me to call you what?” you ask incredulously as you stare down the man standing across from you.

“You heard me,” Leon says with no sense of teasing in his voice.

You laugh in his face, a cruel, unabashed laugh. You could not believe his audacity to ask you to call him daddy. 

Technically, he was your new stepfather, but it was comical to you to even acknowledge him as such. He was right around your age, only a couple years difference, no way in hell were you going to call him daddy.

You had been open with your mother about your displeasure over Leon’s presence in your life. You called her a cradle robber and a cougar but to no avail. She continued her relationship with him; a young, bright eyed, rookie cop who always thought he knew best.

He wasn’t the problem so much. Sure, he was kind of annoying, but he was also pretty cute. He was funny, and if these were any other circumstances, you could see yourself and him getting along great, even being friends. Generally, he was nice to you, maybe a little over friendly if you were being honest. It always seemed like he knew something you didn’t, but you assumed that was just his nature.

“You’re funny, Leon,” you taunt, “Seriously, good joke.”

“It’s not a joke,” he corrects you and folds his arms over his chest, “Now that I’m taking a more serious role in your life, I expect you to show me some respect.”

“Oh, you do?” you laugh, “Leon-”

“Daddy,” he corrects.

You almost can’t speak, stunned to silence by the nerve of him. Was he doing this to annoy you? Was it supposed to be funny? Because there’s absolutely no way he could be serious about this.

“We are almost the same age. You realize this, yes?” you ask, enunciating the words slowly to get your point across, “I’m not calling you anything but your actual name. And maybe not even that cause you’re pissing me off, and I don’t wanna talk to you.”

“All this attitude, sweetheart, and for what?” he says as approaches you, “I’m not asking you to run a marathon for me. All I want is to be addressed properly.”

You scowl at the pet name. He brings a hand to your face, stroking your cheek with his knuckles before you swat it away.

“What is your problem, Leon?” you say angrily and shove him away, “Is this some fucked up fetish of yours? Like it’s not pathetic enough you’re fucking a divorced woman twice your age, right? You have to feel in control of me too to get it up?”

You laugh at him again when he responds with a glare. Rolling your eyes, you walk closer to him and get in his face.

“Aw, did I hurt daddy’s feelings?” you mock in the sweetest tone you could manage, giving him puppy dog eyes and putting emphasis on the title he was so obsessed with, “I’m so sorry daddy. Please don’t be mad at me.”

You’re about to laugh again before Leon spins you around so you quick the motion nearly gives you whiplash. Your back is flush against his chest, and even though you were teasing, your little performance clearly had some effect as you could feel his dick, now half hard, against your ass. It causes a small flash of heat in your belly that you try to pretend didn’t happen.

“Listen up, I’m not going to tell you again, baby. You do what I’m asking you, or we’re going to find another way to get it through your pretty little head,” he says.

His grip was firm. Despite his usual officer friendly persona, he could obviously be serious when he wanted to be. It didn’t shock you. You knew he was fit and could be intense. You’d caught him working out with his shirt off, sweat dripping down his muscular back while ‘Kim’ by Eminem blasted in his airpods. You tried to deny it, but it had left you feeling a little hot under the collar for the next few days.

You squirm in his hold, but he keeps your wrists pinned to your lower back. “Oh yeah? What are you gonna do, send me to my room? Ground me?” you say as you try to wriggle away.

“Oh no, we’re past that. You want to be a brat, I’ll handle you like one. I’ll put you over my knee and smack that cute ass until it’s raw, and you understand who’s in charge around here,” he says.

“You’re gonna spank me?” you shriek. You thrash harder in absolute shock. “No way! Are you fucking crazy? My mother will kick your ass.”

“Your mother isn’t here, babe. I’ll do whatever the hell I want,” he says. His fingers only tighten on you, digging into your flesh. An arm loops around your waist and starts pulling you over to the sofa. “Maybe she’ll be grateful that someone’s finally trying to teach you some manners.”

Even though you knew he was in shape, he was much stronger than you thought. He sits down on the sofa and folds you across his lap with no real effort. You’re secure there too, unable to get to your feet or away from him. You still try though, flailing your limbs about and bucking your hips.

“There, there. Let’s calm down, honey,” he coos, now clearly taunting you. He rubs the swell of your ass over the tight dress you were wearing. “Just tell Daddy you’re sorry, baby. I’m not a bad guy. I’m willing to hear you out.”

You don’t even respond. You pound your fists against his leg while kicking your feet.

“Poor baby. There’s no reason to throw a tantrum,” he says in the most condescending voice you’d ever heard. He gives you a light warning tap on the ass. “Just tell me what I want to hear, and Daddy will make it all better, give you all the kisses you need until you’re back to being a good girl.”

He was driving you fucking wild. Your body was taut with anger while your mind ran wild with frustration, not only at him, but at yourself. You could feel your panties getting sticky with arousal as he spoke down to you.

“Shut up, Leon!” you say and continue struggling.

His hand comes down again, cracking a little harder against the supple flesh of your ass. You suck a sharp breath in. It didn’t hurt yet, but it stung. Anymore force behind the swing of his palm and you knew he could fulfill his threats of marking up your ass.

“You wanna try that again, princess?” he says, “I’ll give you one more chance.”

“No! I’m not calling you Daddy you sick fucker! I-”

A loud slap echoes through the room. That was the smack you were scared of. So hard you could feel the burn beneath your skin. There was absolutely no doubt about his strength now. He lands another two, one on each cheek, drawing whimpers from your throat.

“Watch your mouth,” he says, “I’m sick of the whining and the back talk. I’ve given you more than enough chances to fix your behavior. I’m done playing nice with you.”

In a quick motion, he yanks your skirt up to bunch it at the small of your back. You squeal out “Leon!” but it makes no difference. Again, you attempt to wriggle away. All it does though is give him a view of your ass wiggling around in those cute panties you wore. The ones he had seen peeking over the waist of your jeans.

He lays more lashes to your skin in rapid succession. You wriggle slightly and involuntarily whine. Your ‘stepfather’ felt no guilt though. Partially because it was all part of the plan, partially because he could see the light purple fabric between your thighs darkening with arousal. Plus, the pathetic noises spilling from your mouth only made him want to work harder, rip more sweet cries from you. He continues cracking his solid hand against your bottom, sending ripples through the soft flesh. Your cheeks burn with embarrassment, your eyes start to water, and your bottom lip juts out into a quivering pout.

“Oh, look at that sweet face,” he coos, taking a break from spanking you to stroke your cheek, “I know it hurts, baby. But it can all stop once you decide to stop being a stubborn little brat.”

He punctuates his statement with another swat. Your body jolts forward at the contact, head falling forward to hang in shame. You hate yourself for playing into it, but you can’t stop the automatic response that exits you in a humiliating whimper.

“I’m not a brat.”

“Oh you’re not? Could’ve fooled me,” he responds. He cracks his hand against your cheeks a few more times before giving you a break and rubbing the sore skin.

“I’m not. You’re just… you’re just mean.”

The words tumble from you in a pitiful cry, physically hurting you to say something so pathetic. To show such weakness when he was being such a prick. You shut your eyes, and a warm tear falls down your face. That only made you feel worse, making you want to cry more. A vicious cycle you couldn’t break out of when all your mind could think of was your stinging flesh and his patronizing voice.

“I’m being mean to you? Aw baby, after all the things you said, you think I’m the mean one?” he mocks.

“I-I’m sorry,” you whimper out without really thinking about it.

“I don’t need you to be sorry, sweetheart. You know what I want,” he says.

What’s supposed to be a groan comes out as a frustrated whine. You shake your head weakly and open your eyes again. His fingers slip beneath your chin to lift your face to look at him.

“Just say it. Say it and it will all be over. We can get on to helping you feel better,” he says.

The pain radiating from your ass, now glowing red, was almost enough to make you give in on the spot. But you could hear it in his voice. He was so fucking smug, having so much fun watching you cry and shift around in discomfort. You couldn’t just let him win.

So you shake your head defiantly, sniffling as your watery eyes connect with his in a stare. You immediately regret your decision because the amused glint that forms his eyes lets you know that he enjoys the resistance more than your submission. The corners of his lips tick upwards into a slight smile. Now it’s his turn to shake his head and mockingly tut at you before swinging his forearm and blasting your sore flesh with the heel of his palm.

You cry out, the noise strangled with despair. Your teeth dig into your bottom lip to restrain the louder sobs that were bubbling in your throat.

“Just give in, sweetheart. There’s no need to act tough for me. Do what I know you want to, and say the word,” he orders, his words coming out low and slow.

You know you should, but god, you don’t want to. It’s like your most basic instincts don’t want you to either. You have to think through it, force your tongue to conjure the word and expel it from your lips.

“I’m sorry… Daddy,” you whimper. A couple more tears leak from your eyes. The humiliation that mounts in your chest is like nothing you’ve ever felt before. But as the heat rises to your cheeks and clouds your mind, making you feel dizzy, you feel a deeper sense of heat spreading out in your lower belly. And it only gets worse when he starts in on you again.

“Oh, that’s my girl. Such a good girl when you want to be. I knew you could do it,” he coos, “Say it again for me, baby. Least you can do after being so cruel.”

At this point, you figure you’d already said it once, so what’s one more time. You say it again if for no other reason than to stop his harsh blows from raining down on your sensitive skin.

“I’m so sorry, Daddy,” you cry.

“That’s right. I know you are, honey. I know you don’t mean that stuff. You just wanted some attention, right? Wanted some time with Daddy all to yourself,” he says as his hand comes up and starts stroking your hair.

You weakly shake your head. You weren’t acting up because of that. He was being an asshole. That’s why you were acting up. Or were you even acting up? Your reaction was justified, wasn’t it? All the attention on you mixed with the shame boiling in your head makes it hard to think through this stuff.

“Oh, are you shy? Don’t wanna tell the truth?” he coos with a cruel chuckle. One of his hands rubs your aching ass while the other trails up and down your thigh soothingly. The latter hand slowly creeps to the junction of your legs. “I know that’s what it is, doll. I can feel it.”

As he says that, you feel fingers petting the damp fabric that conceals your cunt. You take a sharp breath to which his chuckle grows into a short laugh. He presses his fingers against the cloth, and you can tell immediately that even his movements are done in a way to mess with you. His digits drag against your panties, not giving you the pressure you need on your clit. You squirm awkwardly in an effort to find a better angle and not feel the soaked garment cling to your folds.

“Feeling a little impatient?” he teases.

You nod, any remaining shreds of dignity you have slowly being peeled away. You just couldn’t resist. The potential pleasure that’s just out of reach. The heat of his thick cock against your hip. His voice, like soft velvet slipping over your mind.

“Well honey, show me you can ask nicely, and I’ll be happy to help you out. Won’t even make you wait, we can get right to what you really want,” he says. His tone sounds slightly more genuine here.

“Pretty please, Daddy,” you force out. Your eyes cast down in shame as if you’re studying the pattern of the living room carpet.

“Pretty please what, babydoll?” he says, the teasing returning for a moment.

“Pretty please… fuck me,” you squeak.

He smirks, his victory written all over his face.

“Woah, listen to the mouth on you,” he tuts, “Normally, I wouldn’t let that kind of language fly, sweetheart, but I think you’ve had enough punishment for one day.”

His hands squeeze your waist and flip you over on his lap. He wipes away your tears with his thumb and presses a kiss to your forehead, that stupid smug expression on his face the entire time.

The next move is guiding your body onto the couch. You whimper as your back meets the cool leather. He pays that no mind and instead lifts your hips and tugs your skirt and panties off in one motion. You notice in your peripheral that he takes a souvenir, shoving the light purple underwear in his pocket.

After giving your ass a firm squeeze, his hands drift up and pull your shirt off. His eyes fixate on your tits, his soft hands coming to cup them and flick his fingers over your nipples which were beginning to perk up.

“No bra? I guess I should’ve expected that from you,” he chuckles as he continues fondling your soft breasts. The touch relieves some of the building pressure, the weight in your chest just begging to be squeezed and massaged. He watches the pliable flesh move beneath his fingers before giving your nipples a quick pinch and moving to undress himself.

He doesn’t waste any time, his clothing pooled on the floor in mere moments. He gets on top of you. Large hands hook behind your knees, angling your hips upward. Your legs come to rest on his shoulders as he grabs his cock and swipes the tip through the slick that had collected between your thighs.

“So fucking wet, I didn’t even need to warm you up,” he grunts as he pushes the tip in.

You bite your lip, unable to stop the whine it brings out of you. He exhales with amusement, and his free hand goes to your face to rub your cheek. It was only the tip so far, but you couldn’t even deny how good it felt. And while he moves with a purpose, he draws out this first thrust as long as possible. He inches it in, going as slow as he can. The pleasure he gets just from watching you squirm with desperation is clear in the way he looks down at you.

“There we go. Just what you need. Daddy filling you up. Gonna make you a good girl from now on,” he coos and drags his thumb over your bottom lip. 

Without even thinking, you open your mouth and flatten your tongue against the digit before wrapping your lips around it. You suck on it gently, softly moaning as your saliva coats his thumb.

At this point, it’s physically impossible for him to look more pleased with himself. Honestly, it seemed like he took more enjoyment from watching you slip farther into his grasp than he did from the feeling of your cunt pulsing around him.

Once he’s all the way in, completely buried in your warm, wet embrace, the hand that had been guiding his cock slides up. He gently thumbs your clit, grinning as your sweet mewls become the slightest bit louder.

He begins dragging himself in and out, savoring the feeling of your walls gripping him, sucking him in. It seems you only clamp down harder as he plays with your pretty little bundle of nerves. He keeps toying with it as his hips work back and forth.

Your eyes flutter, becoming half-lidded with the smooth stream of pleasure flowing through you. You whimper and whine while still sucking on his thumb. He started to repeatedly tease pulling it out before pushing it all the way in, nearly gagging you.

“So precious, aren’t you?” he whispers, leaning forward.

Your thighs are now pressed to your chest. His cock so deep it reaches places you didn’t even know about. He picks up the pace a bit, balls smacking against you with each move. To your dismay, he removes his thumb from your mouth, dragging it down and smearing spit down your chin. Your disappointment is only momentary as he’s quick to capture your lips in a searing kiss. 

His soft lips move against your wet ones while he continues pumping deep. Your head swims with the pleasure he provides. Everything becomes a soft warm haze as he toys with your clit and stretches you out. The gentle kisses combine with the tender feeling of his warm skin sliding against yours.

“Gonna have to do this every time you get bratty, baby. Keep you dumb on my cock, exactly where you should be, making sure you don’t get outta line,” he grunts, eyes closing as a wave of pleasure hits him, “This all you needed, just some time with Daddy.”

You nod lazily, all hopes of keeping a resistant exterior up gone out the window. “More kisses, Daddy,” you mumble as you connect your lips in a messy kiss.

He chuckles at the lack of resistance left in you. He returns your nod and indulges you. His tongue slips into your mouth, meeting your own as you make out.

It’s all so good. You can’t get enough. Everything is him right now. It’s all for him. You know you’re getting close and so does he. He can feel the way your pussy rhythmically constricts around him. It’s working him closer too, but he can’t let it end yet. Not before he gets to the final step.

His movements become strategic. You’re teetering on the edge, getting enough pleasure to keep you whining and clutching at him, but not enough for that final push to heaven. Just one more stroke in the right wave, and you know you could get there.

While your head continues to fog up from his efforts, he pulls away from kissing you. He nestles his head in between yours and the couch cushion.

“You know, honey, now that we’re seeing eye to eye, I think I should let you in on something,” he whispers, hot breath fanning across your ear.

“Mmm, what?” you ask. You were only half paying attention, too caught up in the heat of the moment.

“I’ve had my eye on you for a while, sweet thing,” he rasps.

“Really?” you ask, unsure why he was bringing this up but choosing to go along with it in your dreamy state. He had been dating your mom for a while, so maybe he had this little infatuation for longer than you thought.

“Mhm, earlier than I think you know,” he says with a nip to your earlobe.

“That’s nice,” you murmur and nuzzle your face against his hair, breathing in his scent.

“Aren’t you curious when? When was the first time I saw your pretty face? The first time I wanted to slide into this tight pussy?” he murmurs.

“When?” you ask. You tried to feign interest, but fuck, you really just wanted to cum.

“I remember it, clear as day. It was at a party, you remember that guy from high school who had the 3D tv in his basement. It was at his house. You were down there, looking so fucking cute, talking to some douchebag. And I heard you talking to him. About Fortnite,” he says.

You just nod and moan. You honestly didn’t even remember that he went to your high school, but you didn’t really care at the moment. It still felt so good, him drilling in and out of you. You just couldn’t help but wonder why he thought now was the time to bring this up.

“You told that guy your gamer tag. But I realized I also remembered that name. I had played a match with you before. You beat me, stole my victory royale,” he says with a soft laugh.

“Umm… ok,” you reply, totally lost and not just because your mind was all cloudy from being railed into the couch.

“Tell me, honey: do you remember the name rookiepillz?” he asks.

“No?” you say. Was this really the time for this conversation? That was all you could think. But before you could voice your complaint his hand starts rubbing your clit again with even more pressure than before. All words in your throat tangle up into a string of whimpers.

“You should. I sent you a message after that game. Told you ‘I’m gonna fuck you and your mom sweaty,’” he says with a particularly hard thrust, “Well, look at us now.”

You listen, absolutely lost, until the dots start connecting. You turn your head to look at him, not believing this was real. You did remember that message. It made you and your friends giggle for the next hour, created an inside joke for the next few years.

“No way,” you say. You try to keep your voice even, but despite his insane words, his cock was still hitting just right, “Rookie- fuck! Rookiepillz?”

He puts in a couple of those strokes that hit just right, brushed all your sweet spots, filled you up the perfect amount. All the while his thumb rubs your clit in tiny, quick circles. You couldn’t hold on. A sharp cry leaves you as you gush around his cock. You grip the couch for support as your body rolls with the rush.

“Yes way, sweetheart. Rookiepillz,” he grunts.

When most of the high has finished and you’re starting to come down, you open your eyes and look up at him with disbelief. He’s grinning, so satisfied that he’s gotten the last laugh.

“Wha- you’re… you’re fucking insane… literally why would you remember that? And why would you take it so seriously? It’s Fortnite!” you moan, still feeling the aftershocks of your release.

“I play the long game, baby, and I play to win,” he moans as a strained expression washes over his face. He snaps his hips a few more times before slamming in all the way with one final thrust. “This is my ultimate victory royale.”

With that, he empties himself inside you, hot cum flooding your cunt. You whimper yet again. It still felt good even if you just found out his motivation behind all of this was borderline psychotic.

He pumps in and out a few more times before pulling out. His chest puffs with deep breaths on top of yours. Both of you lay together in silence for a few moments. What had just happened? You could barely even comprehend it. Instead of driving yourself as crazy as he is by dwelling on it, you shove him off of you. You get up and start putting on your clothes again.

“You’re fucking crazy,” you say.

He laughs and sits up on the couch. “Don’t act like you didn’t have fun, baby,” he says while stretching, “You were such a good girl for your daddy.”

Your eyes widen and cheeks burn with embarrassment at his teasing. God, why had you ever said that? Now that you weren’t all worked up, you just wanted to go back in time and kick your own ass for even thinking of giving in.

“Shut up,” you grumble.

He stands up, still laughing and clearly on top of the world with his “victory.” You smooth out your outfit as he starts putting his own clothing back on. He holds up his belt and cracks it teasingly.

“Watch your mouth, there’s still time before your mother gets home. That sweet ass might not have enough marks,” he taunts.

You shoot him a glare before storming out of the room.

“Oh come on, babe. If you’re not into that, maybe we could play some Fortnite?” he calls.

[muzaktomyears]

John Lennon and Yoko Ono: his affairs, binges and diet pills

For years the radio host Elliot Mintz was the only person the former Beatle and his wife trusted. Now, he has written a book about his intense relationship with the couple — including what really happened during Lennon’s infamous ‘Lost Weekend’

John Lennon, Yoko Ono and Elliot Mintz outside the Mampei Hotel in Karuizawa, Japan, 1977. Right: Lennon and Ono in 1980

I am holding a pair of glasses. They are antique, made of steel wire and perfectly round. The trademarked name is the Panto 45. This is the 26th pair of John’s glasses I’ve examined on this snowy night in February 1981. It’s been about two months since he was gunned down in New York outside the Dakota, the gothic edifice where he and Yoko Ono had been living since 1973.

I’ve been tasked with the responsibility of inventorying his personal effects so that Yoko, and posterity, would know precisely what he had left behind. I did not want this task. For one thing, I live 2,500 miles from the Dakota, in Los Angeles, where I host a late-night radio interview show. But Yoko asked me to do it, and I have rarely been able to say no to Yoko, let alone John.

I found their idealism infectious and inspiring. Still, as I got to know John and Yoko as flesh-and-blood friends, I began to see their flawed human sides as well.

The trio at a restaurant in Kyoto, 1977

Yoko, for one, was even more airy and ethereal in private than she was in the media. She could be a fountain of aphorisms, dispensing endless nuggets of Zen-like philosophy. Her haiku-esque homilies on manifesting one’s desires or the wisdom of the nonrational mind could be a bit much for some people.

There were moments when even I was a bit baffled by it all. Except then she would say or do something that would absolutely convince me that she was connected to some higher plane.

John, meanwhile, was every bit as charming, funny and intelligent as he came across in public. But I gradually discovered he was far from perfect. For starters, for a guy who aspired to be a world-shaking peacemaker — a thought leader on a par with Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr and Nelson Mandela — he was surprisingly uninformed about historic figures like, well, Gandhi, King and Mandela.

He also had some Luddite-like notions about science, particularly medicine, extending well beyond his annoyance at “daddy doctors” for not letting him perform his own weight-loss injections. Even though John had smoked, ingested or snorted just about every illegal recreational drug he could get his hands on, he was weirdly suspicious of the ones that were properly prescribed and proven efficacious.

Lennon and Ono on The Dick Cavett Show, 1971

John and Yoko could be incredibly sensitive, honest, provocative, caring, creative, generous and wise. They could also be self-centred, desperate, vain, petty and annoying. In John’s case, also shockingly cruel — even to Yoko.

An example…

Early one morning in November 1972, the red ceiling light that would flash whenever my hotline to John and Yoko rang started blinking. I picked up.

“Ellie, I f***ed up,” were the first words out of John’s mouth.

“Why?” I groggily asked. “What did you do?”

“We were at this party last night,” he said, “and I got loaded. And there was a girl…”

I sat up in bed.

The party was at Jerry Rubin’s Greenwich Village apartment. A small crowd of well-connected peaceniks had gathered to watch the presidential election returns on television. As it became clear that Richard Nixon would win re-election by a landslide, the mood grew bleaker and the crowd began drinking more heavily.

Alcohol was not John’s friend and on this occasion, John’s evil inner gremlins truly outdid themselves.

I got some of the specifics from a hungover John during his morning-after call. The upshot was that John had indeed hit it off with some girl at the party and had slipped into a bedroom with her, where they proceeded to have such loud, raucous sex that everyone sitting around the TV in Rubin’s living room — including Yoko — could clearly hear them going at it.

Lennon and Mintz in 1972

At one point, a well-meaning guest put a record on the turntable — Bob Dylan’s 11-minute ballad Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands — at high volume. Yoko sat on the sofa in stunned, mortified silence.

Whatever they said to each other later, I suspect the conversation was not a pleasant one.

“I slept on the sofa,” John told me, sounding defeated and embarrassed — although, frankly, not quite as contrite as I thought his situation warranted. “Things like that happen,” he said, way too matter-of-factly for my taste. “A bloke cheats on his wife… If I weren’t famous, nobody would care.”

Yoko, unsurprisingly, felt differently.

“Are you OK?” I gently asked her when I phoned to check in on her a few hours later.

“There is no answer to that question,” she said shakily.

“Do you think you’ll ever be able to forgive him?”

“I can forgive him,” she said. “But I don’t know if I can ever forget what happened. I don’t know if it will ever be the same.”

After a few weeks of cooling down, though — during which Yoko wrote and recorded Death of Samantha, her bluesy ode to burying one’s pain for the sake of outward appearances — the crisis seemed to abate. John and Yoko chose to roll the cosmic dice with a spectacular gesture of faith and hope in the staying power of their love. They bought an apartment in the Dakota.

“It’s apartment No 72,” Yoko announced when she called to tell me about the purchase. “Do you see the significance?”

Lennon’s 38th birthday party, 1978

When you add seven and two, you get nine, Yoko explained, which was a hugely significant numeral to the Lennons, a magic integer that seemed to mysteriously recur throughout John’s life. Yoko would rattle off the number’s many repeated appearances: John was born on October 9. She was born on February 18 (1 plus 8). Paul McCartney’s last name has nine letters…

I was somewhat mystified as to why they chose this particular neighbourhood. “Aren’t you worried it’ll be too stuffy for you?” I asked John. “Will the people who live there even know who you are?”

“I don’t want them to know who we are,” he said with a laugh. “I don’t want to know who they are. We just want to be left alone.”

The Dakota struck me as one of the most eerily beautiful — and oddly daunting — structures in all of New York. John and Yoko greeted me in the vaulted vestibule, eager to begin our tour, which started on the ground floor with the new headquarters for Studio One, the business entity behind John and Yoko’s creative enterprises. Tellingly, John did not have an office in Studio One; Yoko did.

The main attraction was on the seventh floor. It was nearly 5,000sq ft, with massive windows offering eye-popping views of Central Park. Virtually everything in its expansive living room, from the plush carpeting to the grand Steinway piano, was as white as Japanese snowbells.

Lennon, Ono and Mintz at a Shinto temple in Kyoto. The custom was to hang your horoscope on a line

There was only one highly conspicuous work of art in the White Room: a Plexiglass case on a white pedestal, in which was a 3,000-year-old sarcophagus. John and Yoko had scored the very last mummy allowed out of Egypt before the Egyptian government put a ban on exporting their national antiquities.

“You should x-ray it and see what’s inside,” I suggested. “There might be something of great value, like precious jewels.”

“I don’t care what’s inside,” Yoko responded. “The great value is the magic of the mummy itself.”

Another thing I clearly remember about that long afternoon at the Dakota was how enthusiastic both John and Yoko seemed about the life they were building together in this new nest. John giddily described the “entertainment centre” he wanted to construct in a nook off the kitchen. Yoko, ever the artist, chattered about the endless design ideas she had. It was all too easy to forget about the pain and stress they’d been dealing with. I managed to convince myself that the worst was over for John and Yoko. I was wrong.

There are those who believe Yoko not only approved of the affair but arranged it. That she planted May Pang in the seat next to John on that American Airlines flight from New York to Los Angeles knowing full well what was likely to happen. That their comely 23-year-old assistant would sooner or later end up sleeping with her husband.

It’s possible, I suppose. It could be she saw some strategic long-term advantage in setting up the affair; by handpicking John’s mistress, she might have felt she could exert some dominion over his extramarital wanderings. Perhaps, thanks to her mystical advisers, she really did see that John was heading for a free fall and was endeavouring to soften his inevitable crash.

If any of that is true, though, Yoko never breathed a word of it to me. All she said in October 1973 was that she was sending John and an assistant to LA. Could I please meet them at the airport?

With his assistant and lover, May Pang, 1974

I was by then aware that their marriage was in deep trouble. Despite their best efforts to mend the relationship, the red light on my bedroom ceiling had been blinking even more feverishly than usual leading up to what would later be known as John’s “Lost Weekend”, the 18 months he spent in exile from his wife in New York.

Yoko’s demeanour back then, as always, was not demonstrably emotional but it was clear from our phone conversations that she was in pain. John’s calls were every bit as depressing.

“Has Mother been talking to you about us?” he asked during one early morning chat.

“Yoko talks to me about everything,” I answered vaguely.

“The other day I shaved and got dressed up and told her I wanted to take her to her favourite restaurant and she turned me down,” he lamented. “She said she didn’t have time. Me own f***ing wife said that to me!”

Yoko has always been a methodical person, and my guess is that she precisely and carefully orchestrated John’s eviction from the Dakota. John might not have even realised what was happening to him. He certainly didn’t seem like a man who’d been kicked out of his home when I met him and May Pang at LA airport.

“You look trim, Ellie,” he said with a big grin when I greeted them. “Have you been taking those diet pills again?”

They had very little luggage, suggesting that neither of them was expecting a long stay. My instructions from Yoko were to drive them to music manager Lou Adler’s house in Bel Air, a mini-mansion up on Stone Canyon Road.

“I need some money,” John said as we settled into my weary old Jaguar. “Mother said these could be used for money,” John continued, shoving a fistful of traveller’s cheques in my hand.

The couple outside the Dakota building in New York, 1980. They bought an apartment there in 1973

John was functionally a child when it came to taking care of himself. But then, that was what May was for. Whatever other intentions Yoko may or may not have had for the assistant, her primary job was to make sure John was properly fed and cared for, that all his basic needs — or at least most of them — were satisfied.

John and I spent a lot of time together over the next several weeks. He was also expanding his friendship circle in LA, hanging out with people like Harry Nilsson, the brilliant but notoriously hell-raising singer-songwriter. But after three or four months, much of his initial enthusiasm had boiled off and his mood was starting to curdle. He was missing Yoko: he began asking me when I thought she’d be ready for him to come home. He started spending more and more time with Nilsson, drinking at the Troubadour till all hours. After John famously got thrown out for drunkenly heckling the Smothers Brothers, the late-night shenanigans moved to the Rainbow Bar & Grill on Sunset. That’s where John and Harry and a collection of others — including my old pals Micky Dolenz and Alice Cooper — formed an infamous drinking club known as the Hollywood Vampires.

It would be difficult to exaggerate the level of unbridled indulgences that took place in the Rainbow’s VIP room, a small alcove atop some stairs overlooking the bar. The amount of alcohol imbibed was staggering, to say the least, and there were also small bags of cocaine discreetly passed into the room. Nilsson, a great big bear of a man, could pound down a dozen or so brandy alexanders — a potent mix of brandy and cream, his cocktail of choice, which John soon adopted as his own — in a single sitting.

Not being a celebrity, I was never invited to become a member of the Hollywood Vampires, but I was a welcome visitor and spent many a late night on the edges of their wild, sometimes harrowing saturnalias.

Lennon with his Hollywood Vampires drinking partners, from left, Harry Nilsson, Alice Cooper and Micky Dolenz, November 1973

There was always a crowd of attractive young women at the bottom of the steps leading to the Vampires’ VIP lair. Frankly, though, by the time the boys descended, usually at closing time, most of them were too wasted to take advantage of the opportunity. I lost count of the number of times I all but carried John down those stairs and poured him into whatever car service I had called to the bar’s car park.

For the most part, I kept my promise to Yoko: I kept John safe. But one night, I realised things were starting to spiral out of my control. Normally, John didn’t put up much of a fight when I helped him down the stairs at the Rainbow Bar but on this occasion, he resisted. He didn’t want to go home.

He pushed away and dived straight into the crowd. It was my worst nightmare: a drunken star lost inside a drunken mob.

Finally, I spotted John with Nilsson at the edge of the car park, the two of them climbing into the back of a black limousine. A moment later, it pulled away into the night, going I had no idea where.

John, I realised with a sinking feeling in my gut, was slipping away.

I was about to walk into the nadir of the Lost Weekend, John’s rock bottom. The call came not on the hotline but my regular house phone, and the voice on the other end identified himself as a security officer working for Phil Spector. John was in trouble: could I please hurry over to Adler’s house and help “calm him down”.

What I saw when I stepped into Adler’s living room some 20 minutes later looked like a scene out of The Exorcist. Drunk and wild-eyed, John was strapped to a high-backed chair, his arms and legs restrained with ropes, which he was struggling against with all his might as he shouted obscenities at his captors, a pair of beefy-armed bodyguards who stood in awkward silence nearby. The place was a shambles. John had torn some of Adler’s framed gold records off the walls and smashed them to pieces. Bits of broken wood and shattered Plexiglass littered the floor.

The couple in Selfridges in London where Ono was signing copies of her book Grapefruit, July 1971

Apparently, the meltdown had started earlier that evening at the studio, where John and Phil had nearly come to blows. What precisely they were arguing about, nobody seemed to remember. But the session ended early with Phil’s guards restraining John and shuttling him to Adler’s house, where John slipped away from them long enough to pick up some sort of walking stick or cane, which he swung wildly around the living room until the guards were able to subdue him.

I slowly stepped up to John, who had stopped shouting. His head hung low on his shoulders, his chest heaving furiously. After a long beat, he slowly lifted his eyes to me. He looked possessed.

“Get these ropes off me!” he erupted. “Get them off me, you…”

And then John spat out an epithet so hurtful and offensive, I can’t bring myself to repeat it.

I looked straight into his eyes, barely containing my disgust and disappointment. He looked back into mine. And that exchange of glances seemed to reach some shred of humanity buried deep in John’s alcohol-addled brain. Suddenly he became very, very quiet.

After a moment or two, I turned to the guards. “I think you can take those ropes off him,” I said. “I think he’s done.”

John stood up, rubbed his wrists and, without another word, slowly made his way down the hall to the bedroom, where he must have collapsed on the mattress and passed out.

The next day, as I was getting ready to leave for work, the hotline started flashing.

“Ellie?” John said. “I’m sorry for what I said. But if you think about it, if that’s the worst thing I could say about you, you couldn’t be all that bad, right?”

“Thanks for the compliment,” I said.

“Well, welcome to the real world, Mother Virgin Mary. I’m me. I have a big mouth and express meself the way I feel when I feel it. I don’t hide behind some microphone. I sing into it or speak into it when it suits me. I’m not always the Imagine guy or the Jealous Guy or the Walrus. So I said I’m sorry to you. That’s all I can do.

Lennon and Ono in 1972

“Do you want to have dinner?”

“No,” I answered. “I think I’m going to take the night off.”

For the first time I can remember, I was the one who hung up the phone.

Obviously, our friendship took a hit after the incident at Adler’s house; how could it not? For the next several months, John and I barely spent time together — at least, not in person. We would talk almost every day on the phone, as we always had, and eventually our rapport began to feel as easy and familiar as ever. But I no longer joined him for evenings at the Troubadour or the Rainbow.

John, meanwhile, had shifted from the mayhem of the Spector sessions to the slightly lesser bedlam of producing a record for his pal Harry Nilsson. The most notable thing about the Pussy Cats sessions was who else was in the room. Ringo Starr sat in on drums. And although it never made it onto Nilsson’s album, another ex-Beatle unexpectedly turned up and even sang with John, the first time the two of them had performed together since the Beatles split.

I wasn’t present but later heard that Paul McCartney and his wife, Linda, had popped in without warning, bringing Stevie Wonder with them. According to those who were there, John and Paul seemed to pick up their friendship as if they were teenagers again, but when John told me about it later, he was kind of dismissive about it, saying, “They were all just looking at us, thinking that something big was going to happen. To me, it was just playing with Paul.”

Lennon with Harry Nilsson, left, outside the Troubadour club in West Hollywood, having just been ejected for heckling a performance by the Smothers Brothers, March 12, 1974

What John didn’t know, though, was that, according to Yoko, Paul had an ulterior motive for the visit. A few days earlier, she had called me to explain the machinations behind the visit.

Yoko told me she spoke with Paul, who offered to speak with John. “I thought it was very kind,” she said. “I was very appreciative. But I made it very clear to Paul that it wasn’t something I was asking him to do. It would have to be Paul’s idea, not mine.”

To me, there was never any question that John desperately wanted to get back with Yoko. Yes, he had feelings for May, yet at some point during virtually every phone call I had with him, John would sooner or later beseech me to talk to Yoko on his behalf. “Tell Mother I’m ready to come home, Ellie. Tell her I’m a changed man.”

“I don’t think she wants to hear it from me,” I would say. “She wants you to show it to her.”

Paul, I later heard, gave John similar advice. Sometime after popping into the studio in Burbank, he sat down with John and laid out, step by step, what he would need to do to win Yoko back.

It’s impossible to say if Paul’s presentation was what did it, or if John experienced some other epiphany around that time, but over the ensuing months he did indeed begin to clean up his act. In the summer of 1974, he started working on his next album, Walls and Bridges, regularly flying to New York for rehearsals and recordings at the Record Plant on West 44th Street. By all accounts, those sessions were entirely professional, with John showing up 100 per cent sober every day.

At the Grammy Awards in New York, March 1, 1975

Then, as work on the album neared completion, John made a fateful decision: he decided not to wait any longer for Yoko’s invitation to return to New York. Instead, towards the end of the summer, he and May rented an apartment of their own on the Upper East Side. It was a small but comfortable place that had a wraparound balcony with spectacular views of the East River.

When I flew to New York to tape some interviews, I took the opportunity to pay them a visit — my first face-to-face meeting with John since the ugliness at Adler’s house. It was an awkward encounter for numerous reasons. For one thing, I had just spent an afternoon with Yoko at the Dakota, some 20 blocks away; taking a cab across town to John and May’s felt something akin to betrayal.

Perhaps sensing my apprehension, May gave me a wide berth, leaving to make some phone calls in a bedroom while John and I stood together on the balcony, catching up.

“Does this make you feel uneasy?” John asked after a beat.

“You mean being here with you and May? Yes, a little,” I admitted. “It just reminds me of the fact that you and Mother are still separated, and that makes me sad.”

“Well, that’s the way Mother wants it,” he said. “At least for now.”

Then, unexpectedly, he wrapped his arm over my shoulders and added, “Don’t look so glum, me boy. Put on your radio face. There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be.”

It was one of the few times he’d quoted a line to me from a Beatles song.

Walls and Bridges was released a month or so later. John sent a prereleased signed copy (“To my little dream lover on ice, with love and old pianos,” he wrote, referring to my affection for Bobby Darin’s hit song).

As it happened, Elton John had joined John on keyboards for one song on the album. Elton made a bet with John. If the song was a hit, John would have to perform at Elton’s upcoming concert at Madison Square Garden. John agreed, never imagining he’d have to honour that promise.

Of course, Elton was spot on: Whatever Gets You Thru the Night did indeed become John’s first No 1 solo single. And so it came to pass that, in November 1974, onstage at Madison Square Garden, in front of thousands and thousands of fans, that the Lost Weekend finally began to fade to a finish.

Lennon’s surprise appearance at Elton John’s concert at Madison Square Garden, November 28, 1974

The details of what exactly transpired backstage that night remain, 50 years later, shrouded in some mystery. What is known is that Yoko, who’d been invited to the concert by Elton’s manager, was in the audience. She couldn’t have been prepared for the reaction around her when Elton announced, about two thirds into the concert, that he was bringing John onto the stage for his first public performance in two years. The crowd went berserk.

After the show, Elton’s manager approached Yoko and told her that Elton had requested her presence in his dressing room. Yoko was led backstage to a door with a star on it. She knocked, the entrance opened, and inside she saw her husband standing there, alone.

I cannot tell you what happened after the dressing room door closed behind them. Nobody but Yoko knows that, and she has never shared with me any details. What I can tell you is that in the weeks and months that followed, there must have been many more rendezvous as Yoko and John re-established their connection, even as he continued living with May in their East Side apartment.

According to one of May’s early accounts, John was ultimately hypnotised into ending his relationship with her; she has long claimed that Yoko hired a mesmerist to help John quit smoking but that it was all a ruse to brainwash him into splitting up with her so he could return to Yoko. To this day, many people believe that story. But I know for certain that it wasn’t true. Because, as it happens, I’m the one who arranged the hypnotist.

Yoko had nothing to do with it.

John had remembered that I had interviewed a hypnotist on my radio show and asked me if he might be able to help him kick nicotine.

At the Lincoln Center in New York, circa 1975

I called the hypnotist, planned for him to fly to New York, booked him a room in a Midtown hotel, and set up an appointment with John. In just about every respect, though, the hypnosis was a total bust. John told me immediately afterwards he was never put under; the hypnotist claimed John was but just couldn’t remember. The hypnotist also turned out to be something of a diva. He disliked his hotel — he thought the desk clerks were rude — and checked out the next day, flying back to LA in a huff.

John didn’t quit smoking, not for a minute, so it’s hard to imagine the hypnotist had succeeded in brainwashing him into anything else — like, say, leaving a lover. But the very next day, John did break it off with May and returned to the Dakota, resuming his marriage to Yoko and ending, at last, the long and lonely winter that had been the Lost Weekend. He called me in LA shortly afterwards to share the happy news.

He said, “Let the media know the separation did not work.”

‘He’d weigh himself twice a day’

Elliot Mintz on his friendship with John and Yoko. By Georgina Roberts

When a red light in Elliot Mintz’s bedroom flashed, it meant that John Lennon or Yoko Ono was calling him on a special hotline. “In an average week, 20 hours of phone conversation would not be unusual,” the 79-year-old former radio DJ and talk-show host says from his Beverly Hills living room.

Mintz describes the friendship with the couple that “dominated” nine years of his life as “almost a kind of marriage”. He was taken aback when Ono called him in 1971 to thank him for not asking about Lennon when he interviewed her on his radio show. When they began to speak for hours at night, she batted away his concern that her husband might get jealous, saying, “Aren’t you giving yourself a little too much credit, Elliot?”

Lennon first called Mintz to ask if he could get him fat-melting pills. “That was my first conversation with John Lennon. It wasn’t philosophical. It wasn’t about Elvis or the Beatles. It was about weight loss,” he says. Sometimes Lennon would weigh himself twice a day and the couple “were obsessive about diet”.

In Hotel Okura in Tokyo, October 1975

After six months of speaking, the couple summoned him to meet them in Ojai, California, where they were trying to kick a methadone addiction. Ono barely spoke until she was in a bathroom with the tap running. “She whispered to me, ‘This house is bugged. Everything we say here, they’re listening. So you have to be very careful what you say.’ ” FBI files released years later showed that Ono wasn’t being paranoid. President Nixon had placed the couple under surveillance after rumours they planned to disrupt his convention, Mintz says.

His clandestine friendship with the couple wreaked havoc on his love life. When he couldn’t explain whom he’d been speaking to in the middle of the night, one love interest assumed he was married and stormed out. “I realised at that moment that my love life would have to take a back seat to my relationship with John and Yoko,” he says.

There were times when lines were crossed in the friendship. One morning, Lennon summoned Mintz to kick out a girl who’d stayed the night. “I told him, ‘Please don’t ask me to do something like that again.’ He flipped out. He said, ‘I will effing ask you to do anything that I feel like asking you to do. Do you understand that?’ ” Mintz was hurt and offended. The next day was one of the few times he said no to “grabbing a bite” with Lennon.

Becoming parents was “the biggest game-changer” for the couple. After his son Sean was delivered via caesarean section in 1975, “John was outraged that when Yoko was clearly struggling, doctors would come up to him and say, ‘I’ve always dreamt of shaking your hand.’ He would bark at them, ‘Look after me wife!’ ”

While Lennon threw himself into childcare, Ono, who came from a banking dynasty, handled the couple’s finances. After becoming stratospherically famous so young, Lennon was “clueless” about money. “I doubt if John was ever in a supermarket, went to a bank, wrote a cheque. That’s what Yoko did,” Mintz says. “If not for Yoko, there’d be no money in the Lennon-Ono estate today.”

A drawing by Lennon on a postcard from Japan sent to Mintz in 1977

The first time Mintz met their son, Lennon said protectively, “Not too close. Germs.” “He said, ‘Look, we were going to make you the godfather, but we decided on Elton, because he would at least give him better Christmas presents.’ ” “This is typical John,” Mintz says.

Sean would only spend five years with his father before Lennon was murdered outside the Dakota in December 1980. Lennon had always “poo-pooed” Mintz’s requests for him to employ more security. “John said, ‘I’m just a rock’n’roll singer. Who would want to hurt me?’ ”

When Mintz speaks about learning of Lennon’s murder from a weeping flight attendant, his honeyed radio-presenter voice cracks with emotion. “Even now, after all these years, just thinking about that moment…” He trails off. The most gut-wrenching of his responsibilities was making an inventory of Lennon’s possessions. When he signed for a stapled brown paper bag that came from the hospital where Lennon was taken after he was shot, he could not bear to open it. “It was what John was wearing, what he had on him when he fell, including his broken, bloodied glasses.”

He is reticent about his friendship with Ono today. “I want to give her a sense of privacy,” he says, but adds, “It still feels like family. I still love her dearly.” The last time he saw her was at her 91st birthday in February. It was there that Sean encouraged Mintz to write his book, We All Shine On. Does he think Ono will like it? “I’ve never tried to predict a Yoko Ono conclusion.”

How different would his life be if he had never met the couple? “I could have got married. Could have had children.” Were the sacrifices worth it? “Of course. I got to spend that amount of my time with these two extraordinary people.”

We All Shine On: John, Yoko, & Me by Elliot Mintz (Bantam, £25).

(source)

[khuzena]

Waiting room

Pairing: Dr ratio, Aventurine, Sunday x g/n!reader

Summary: You can love, get on your knees and wait on a miracle. There are things that are for you and aren't for you, you should know. It's for the better.

Cw. Heavy angst, no comfort, 1% fluff, manipulative men, toxic relationships, insecurities, death?, unrequited love, breakups, them neglecting you cos…, no closure, what is love?

A/n: hi, time to make you cry. I'm getting writer's block as I'm making a new novel!! It has the ‘your guardian angel’ fics plot but w my characters. 🥳

Dr ratio

He's a simple man, really.

Drown yourself in endless textbooks, advanced literature and neglect every other thing.

Like his thirst for knowledge; love is endless, affection is abundant.

Is what you initially thought.

It has been the 4th time this week that he turned down your requests, “Dear, you know I have no time for that.”

He does not try to sugarcoat his words, he does not try to make his tone less harsh, “I don't have time for dates, such a waste of time.'' He says it like it is, he says it like it's true.

Your eyebrows creased, annoyed at his flippant attitude, “What do you mean waste of time?”

Veritas takes one glance at you, then back to his nonsense book. To him, it was useless wasting his breath on arguing with you.

“Veritas, you said we'll go, you promised.”

He is cruel, his words flinty. “I do not recall making any atrocious promises to you, are you perhaps going insane?”

Insane?

“Insane? Last week, you promised me.”

“I did not.”

“Yes you did.”

He scoffs, as if offended, “If I did, then I was not thinking straight. I have a thesis due tomorrow. A date can wait.”

Veritas is a man with priorities and out of all of them, it seems, you were not one of them. He'd rather his books kept him company, not you. It's obvious, his pursuit of knowledge was greater than loving you.

He lit his lamp, taking his pen and highlighting some paragraphs, what was so important with them? You could not help but come closer, skimming through the contents, it was just some theory some genius society member wrote.

“You're miserable,” it might've accidentally slipped out, but it was true; he is, in fact, the most miserable of all men.

Veritas rolled his eyes, pushing his reading glasses and annotating whatever statement was written. The candle light flickered when his heavy breaths fanned over it, not paying mind to whatever you say.

Your patience was thinning, how long was he planning to play this damned game?

“Veritas.”

You call out once.

“Veritas!”

Again, in anger.

“Veritas”

The last time, desperately.

He does not respond, he does not care. Yet your voice was ringing in his ears in an unpleasant way, “Is this about the date?”

You were taken aback by his curt reply, it wasn't just about the date. “Is that all? Do you think that's the only reason?”

“Hypothetically speaking, yes.”

“Cut the bullshit, veritas.”

Veritas glares at you, as if making a statement; a bullshit one at that. He does not have time for mindless topics, he's overworked, he's tired, he's unsatisfied.

For a moment, you have the urge to yell at him. This shallow bastard has done nothing but fool you with aureate words, he writes poetry about you and shows you off.

He loves you because you are all he has. He may be an asshole but he loves you the way he knows how to love you.

Tonight, however, you are done with his bullshit. You do not argue further, he is confused. When you leave this room with no more qualms, when you do not scream at him, he is bewildered.

“Where are you going?” It's strange that he noticed you for the first time. Only when you get dressed up and when he hears the keys jingle, does he notice every single detail.

You adjusted the cuffs of your blouser, “I'm staying at a friend's”

“Which one?”

“None of your business.”

Stunned, he drops his pen. Why are you acting so off? You're driving him insane.

“What do you mean none of my business? Stop acting so childish.”

That was your last straw, childish? Childish? The fucking audacity.

“You are more childish.”

“How so?”

“You— do I even have to explain it?”

Nothing could quell your frustration other than being away from him for the meantime, “Yes,” he loves you, he wants to know. But even if he does, he never learns; so much for a genius.

“You neglect me, you prioritise this,” it was tempting to crumple his papers, “—over me.” So you did.

He is indifferent. He does not understand how and why it hurts you. So he tries to understand it from a logical standpoint, “So you want to really go on that date?”

“I'm tired of asking”

Tired of begging him to treat you right, to love you like you want him to love you.

He stays quiet.

“I'm tired of begging for something so small.”

“You didn't have to destroy my goddamn book,” he seethed and pulled the book from your hands, too absorbed in the damage of the book he does not notice how much he has damaged you. Veritas is too blind to see you holding back tears despite wearing his glasses.

The force surprised you, “Is that thing much more important?”

“What?”

“Answer me Veritas Ratio.”

It was merely just a book, but it was precious. It was a rare one, it annoyed him to immeasurable depths when you crumpled it so recklessly.

He does not answer.

“I'm leaving,” he's not sure if leaving meant temporarily, he hopes it is. He hopes you come back again tomorrow night.

So he waits. Tomorrow came, but you did not come home.

Aventurine

He loves you, he really does.

His idea of love is adorning you with jewels, showering you with riches.

Too much that you suffocate, it hurts. You can't breathe, soulless eyes stare into yours.

It's when you realise, he's trapping you. Does he think you're stupid? What does he take you for?

“Darling! I got you a gift!”

The 22nd one this week… Aventurine makes haste and runs behind you, wearing the necklace on you, it looks… okay.

You look like a doll, his doll.

But you are not a doll, you are human.

And like all humans, we all wish to be loved and cherished as an equal.

“Do you like it?” It would be rude to say no, but it does not fit you. Sure it accentuates your neck, but it's too much.

“I…” you traced your finger over the gem, “I do.”

“Great! I'll get you another tomorrow!” It is tiring. As much as planets worth of gold and extravagant jewels excite you, you would rather be in his presence.

You do not recall the last day he's ever taken you out on a proper date, you do not recall any time where he's been open to you about his past because you know damn well his name could never just be ‘Aventurine’.

You were sitting on the couch, sipping tea with your eyes glued to your book. Before you knew it, soft lips grazed on your cheek.

“You're back earlier than expected,” he smiles as he pressed another kiss onto you, “I ditched the meeting, for you.”

Oh how you hate it when he does things in your name just to make you indebted to him. Aventurine loves you, but love is transactional.

“Is that so?” He nods, wrapping his arms around you. “I'll buy you something again, we have another business trip in Penacony.”

It makes you wonder, does he think gifts are the only thing that'll make you stay?

He could see the reluctance in your eyes, “Is something on your mind?”

You bit your lip, “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.”

A deafening silence fills the room before he chuckles, he is everything but stupid. He knows, he knows you want to spend time with him, he knows you’d incinerate those gifts in a heartbeat just to trade even an hour spending time with him.

“Dear, I promise, next time,” he pressed light kisses on your exposed shoulder, but it isn’t enough: what truly is enough?

You want to push him away, with how ruthless he is with making empty promises so easily, “You said ‘next time’ last time.”

”I promise, I do.” Even he sounds unsure. You pick up on the hint of hesitation laced in his promises, he regrets it, but he thinks; he’s doing it for you, for the both of you.

“You said that too last month,” you scoff.

He tried to intertwine your fingers together yet to no avail, you rejected him, “Why are you acting up again?”

There’s only so many gifts can buy but he can never purchase the time lost that could’ve been spent in lazy mornings together yet he traded it all for credits. The second attempt, he forces a smile and even pulls a tiny ring for you, that gem you loved so much engraved in the centre. Words cannot express how much you despise these gifts because it was just a pathetic compensation for the neglect.

”Please, next month.” He took your hand in his and put the ring on your ring finger. “Okay?”

You cling to that possibility, to that sliver of hope when he is done with Penacony, he is relieved of his duties and he is finally free. That he no longer has to overcompensate for his absence and shower you with the time he’s lost.

You know next month won’t come, yet you are no different from a fool.

”Okay”

You wait upon endless tomorrows, two months have passed and none of his coworkers have any good news about his well-being. They’re sure he’s dead, but you still wait for that tomorrow where he is home to come.

Sunday

Love, what truly is love?

Is it when you praise your lover with endless ‘I love you’s?

Is it when you hold their hand and protect them for the impending doom to come?

or rather, is love just a fallacy built on a string of lies?

Sunday believes that he knows what’s best for you.

Before Sunday, you were allowed to make your own decisions.

Before Sunday, you actually had freedom.

The halovian swears he knows what’s best for you.

He makes sure everything you want or need, you get.

Sunday will kiss your tears away, even if he is the sole reason for them. ”It’s for your own good.” he says.

To strip you of freedom, to shackle you to him like a bird in a cage. His sweet kisses, his love, his everything; they’re all fucking poison. He does not hesitate to drown you in his poison if it means protecting you.

You cry out, “Sunday.” In desperate pleas.

But he will not listen, he’ll pretend he doesn’t hear anything.

He believes that if he gives you the taste of freedom, you’ll find a way to fly away from his grasp– he will not allow it. So he does what he’s best at, keeping you stuck to him.

”What do you want, dear?” He smiles at you like he’s never sinned.

You throw away the pathetic gifts he adorned you with, gold, diamonds and stones you could not name but they are not what you want, “I want to see my friends.”

”They’re no good, trust me.” Your friends once told you that you should go, that he’s toxic, but you were a fool to drown in him.

“What do you know about my friends?” He’s done everything to kill that flame inside of you, that hope that maybe one day you’d escape him and be free once again, you’re a fool, he thinks.

He clicks his tongue as he puts down his newspaper at the coffee table, ”They tried to take you away from me.”

”They did not, you know I would never leave you.” A blatant lie but it's stupid that you take him for a fool that’ll believe your words.

He only chuckles, your attempts to get away from him are futile, it’s pathetic it makes him laugh. “I admire your confidence, but you’re staying here tonight.”

Death has never been more alluring under his influence, but you can not die.

“Please,” you beg again, but he only presses his finger to your lips, “Shh…”

”One day you’ll thank me for taking such good care of you.” He gets down on his knees to kiss the back of your hand, “You’re safe here.”

He gets up to sit right next to you, he doesn’t flinch when you slap his face away when he tries to kiss you. The man only grabs your wrist when you try to push him away again. He kisses you with passion, in love but is it truly love when there is no trust?

There’s no use questioning his intentions, “This is for your own good.”

What good is there when there is no freedom? He thinks beautiful birds should be protected. Even if it meant being trapped in a cage, stripped of any sense of freedom, as long as you're safe, as long as you're here with him, he is content. "Dont give me that look."

Your eyes train on the way he rolls his eyes at your defiance, "Just let me go."

Sunday glares at you, his grip on your wrist tight, you're sure he's about to tear it off. "No."

When will you stop acting like a child?

The halovian is too far down the rabbit hole of self righteousness and his obsession with you that he if he needs to tear you limb by limb to keep you close to him, to keep you from rubbing away, he will do it.

His phone rings, it must be business calls again, Penacony sure is in a state of chaos when it's crumbling down. He lets go off you to take his phone.

"Yes yes... Sunday speaking."

You dont understand what they're murmuring about. All you could register is it's something about his sister.

His facial expression turned grim the more time he spent on the phone. The phone call ends and he puts it down, the life from his face drained but when he sees you, he is relieved.

You are still here with him.

He intertwined your hands together, you can feel anger and despair that he's exuding as he stares at you like a deer in the headlights. "Please, promise me."

"You'll never leave me too."

It doesn't sound like a question, it sounds like a statement.

You'll truly never know what freedom is, for that is only a privilege that you can never have. In his arms you cannot cry, because he'll drown you in his lies again and again.

On the bright side, you are never alone. You will always have Sunday, whether you like it or not.

Note: bye i got extreme writer's block at Sunday's part I had to take almost a 2 week break bc i rlly have no idea what to write for him oh my god. I absolutely did not give them justice 😥

Written by @khuzena. Likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated. ♡ 

[pupyuj]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WRITE extremely dom! yujin who gets off on degrading bratty sub! reader (bonus if the do the cuddle cuddle at the end) (g!p is appreciated 💞💞, it's alright if u don't vibe it though)

p.s. - sana maganda po yung araw nyo ‼️‼️ muchmuchmuch love from your ph followers ate ena 💞

long time no drabble but i am here with a mission to get back into the swing of things and not let laziness take over me! 😤‼️ anyways SALAMATTT i hope you have an amazing day too anon (pakisabi na lang sa friends ko from back home na miss na miss ko na sila HAHAHA char) 🥺💕

your troubled loser of a girlfriend with a messy job, dysfunctional family, and deep, dark interpersonal issues that she spends absolutely no time fixing and instead, treats you like trash in the bedroom bcs that’s the only way she can have control of things! 🫢 when she comes home and she doesn't call out to you sweetly... you know something is amiss! especially when you poke your head out of the kitchen and see that state she's in—necktie loose, her blazer hastily thrown to the couch, her shirt a bit wrinkled with two buttons unbound... signs that she has not been very calm on the drive home 😭😭

doesn't share a word with you and just kisses you, but it wasn't the type of kiss that got you feeling butterflies in your stomach! it was the kind that had yujin ripping your apron off of you and dragging you up the stairs really harshly! but ofc only such treatment would be tolerated by an equally psychotic lover... so obviously you loved it whenever yujin got like this 🤭👀 feeling her cock stiffen up as she allows you you explore her body with your hands while you're underneath her... taking her tie off slowly, unbuttoning her shirt and pulling it off, squeezing her breasts.. ah, if looks could kill, that glare yujin was giving would have put you six feet under long ago! 🥴

yujinnie gets a kick out of the sounds of the sluttiest moans that you make while she's ramming her cock against your walls 😍 she remembered a time where you couldn't even take all of her in without tapping out.. now you were just gladly letting her abuse your pussy like this... though yujin can see that it still hurts you in some way, but she's always too petty and annoyed to stop 🤤 putting her underneath your thighs and pushing your hips upward so her cock can reach the deepest depths of you.. yujin herself releasing heavenly sounds from her mouth that you forget just how fucking cruel she could get with her words.. until ofc she gets the composure to speak while she's fucking you 😈

"hmmn.. ha.. good little pet... this is the only w-way to shut you up, huh..? should've known..."

"can't be annoying now, huh? y-you'd love to, right...? but you love my dick too much to act out now..."

"you're just a s-stupid whore, aren't you..? f-fuck!"

well ofc this was the perfect time to embarrass yujin bcs you're just as petty! attempting to move away from her so she would have to chase after you... clawing at her arms to get her to release you from her iron grip.. you were both scared and horribly turned on by the way yujin got increasingly angry until she just snapped, just as you intended 😋 she's grabbing your face, forcing your mouth open and spitting down your throat... making you swallow and grinning widely when you do.. "fucking slut.. you'd let me do anything to you, huh?" it was a rhetorical question, but you nodded anyway... eagerly too! the only thing it did was inflate yujin's ego... as well as intensify her thrusts 🤤

yeah the sex ends with both of you cussing at each other while she dumps her seed inside your womb but your favorite part is the one where yujinnie turns into the usual ahn yujin that you knew: sweet and very very wholesome 🥺 she's leaving gentle kisses all over the painful bite marks she left, she's keeping you hydrated, even cleans up the mess both of you made and absolutely refuses to let you move a muscle 😭 afterwards, the two of you would be tangled up embracing each other and you comfort her about the hard day she had... overall just very sweet after such intense sex 🤭💞

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

papa, me want more yandere jjk zombie apocalypse!!!

no pressure tho lol love your writing

Me when someone calls me Papa:

But seriously thank you Hope you enjoy! 🖤🖤🖤🖤

Zombie Apocalypse: Yandere Jujutsu Kaisen (3)

1  • 2

When you awaken it’s Nobara and Megumi who retrieve you for another tour

This time taking the time to let you partake in the activities with some of the residents

But it’s all to pass the time before Suguru comes to retrieve you

“Hey (Y/n) we have a few more tests to run and after that, I’ll let you go have fun with Satoru.”

Despite your reluctance to deal with the boisterous man you follow Suguru back to the lab where you first met him in

Chatting about anything you could 

“So I finally wanted to inform you about why you can’t go to the other neighborhood and why you have that wristband.”

“Finally! Even if I can’t be with them I want to see them still–”

“...(Y/n)...I’m so sorry.”

Setting you on the patient table Suguru informs you that your blood is the key to immunity against the zombie disease

Using some advanced technology to find you and put the wristband on you to label you among your group of friends

But that wasn’t all 

Holding you close he confides in you that in separate interviews your friend group had proven to be willing to go to extremes to get their hands on the cure

Said extremes were violent and alarming

all suggesting they’d abduct you and make you a living blood bag for them

It was actually not that far-fetched to you

You knew your friends were loosening their morals

You had to 

Especially after the betrayal from one of your members

It was likely that they may have come off that way

But you wonder if that would’ve applied to you as well

You really had no way of knowing

“(Y/n) I understand that this is difficult to take in…just know that me and Satoru are here for you. We’re going to protect you, no matter what.”

He was holding your chin as he looked into your eyes with promise

Letting him hold you in a hug

Suguru has a hard time holding in a smile that twitches widely on his face

After this Suguru takes the day off joining you to experience the different activities 

Satoru joined you both shortly thereafter

“Yay! My two favorite people are baking so adorably! It’d be a shame if someone came and tickled one of them relentlessly.”

“Sorry (Y/n).”

“Wait what—Ahhhh! Hahahaha!”

They’re pretty persistent when it comes to chasing away the thoughts of your friends possibly being as dangerous to you as they were to the zombies you’d been running from 

Enough for you to miss them when you once again say goodbye to Nobara and Megumi after they lead you to your room 

But before you can completely settle on your bed to sullenly stare at the ceiling the door to your room clicks open

“Heyyo you ready for me to show you what movies we’ve got? Of course, you are! C’mon, sweetcheeks!”

“Hope we didn’t wake you but we figured we’d hate to leave you alone.”

“Uh, thanks, you guys.”

“It’s no problem, the mind on its own is a scary place.”

“Yeah…”

“That’s why we’ll never let you go there! Now are you ready for the ultimate movie night? You’re not going to get a wink of sleep!”

That being said by the time the sun rose you were already resting on the couple your head in Satoru’s lap while Suguru held the rest of your body up

Completely oblivious to the second time the lock to your door opened up 

“You two look cozy!”

“Do not yell someone is clearly asleep.”

“So? I have the key to this door so it’s practically mine too.”

“The urge to decimate you always returns with a vengeance.”

“Ouch so cruel~!”

Suguru groaned and rolled his eyes at the both of them checking if you stirred at all

 while Satoru smiled at the blonde one of the duo only to receive an annoyed push of his glasses

“Nanamin you came back earlier than I expected.”

“Yes, my…partner took a very impulsive approach this time around.”

Suguru figured he’d chime in too, “Mahito did you bring any of them back alive?”

Mahito made a face putting a peace sign up as he posed mocking the anime signage now left as relics of the world before

“What do you think?”

“I don’t necessarily care, it’d just make things easier for them.”

“It is unbecoming of you to lie Doctor Geto.”

“Yeah, I could tell you were just itching to get your hands on those pigs!”

Suguru chuckled reaching to brush his hand against your cheek

“Maybe I was hoping to…enjoy a roast. It’s unfair if you’re the only one to enjoy the results of our labor.”

[prinzrupprecht]

When they hurt your feelings

Featuring: Beelzebub, Cu Chulainn, Apollo, Okita ( part 1 )

Ight lads we onto a new series. Dunno why Okita feels out of place in this line up. First time doing Beel and Cu. If you guys want a specific character in part 2 you’ll have to request it or else imma just rng it.

Part 2 and Part 3

No warnings.

Beelzebub

You knew of the risks of trying to get close to the Lord of the Flies. You may have been pestering him around too lately or tried to get him to soften up around you.

All your efforts were for nothing but you still tried. He tells you to leave him alone most of the time while he studies in his own research room. You continued to pout as your advances were rejected yet again.

Beelzebub never tried to get to know you or why you even wanted to befriend him. Ever since Lilith and his three friends died because of him, he doesn’t want the same to happen to anyone else. Other gods feared him and he liked to live in solitude.

You still tried to get close to him. It was pissing him off and so he snapped without thinking one day. He called you the worst things a person shouldn’t ever hear. Bottom-feeder gods were better than you. You were more annoying than a fly buzzing in his ear. If it wasn’t for his desire to die so badly, he’d rather your piercing voice kill him instead.

You probably were more hurt than ever and couldn’t even bring yourself to leave your house for days. You were so annoying that he would rather die than be near you? No, he always wanted to die and you tried to change that.

Instead, you had tried to move on. Maybe it was for the better? Even no matter how hard you tried to be friendly to him, it was no use and the weeks that have gone by without passing a word to him. He probably doesn’t even care enough to look in your direction.

You found your way to the garden of Eve despite the weird creatures that lurk around the forbidden tree. You just wanted to break free from the reality you were in for a moment— “why are you here?” His voice sounded like venom. You couldn’t even move, yet he was here.

“Fine then I’ll leave, sorry for even coming here.” You pouted and turned your head to see him giving you an amused look. You were confused, didn’t he want you not to be around him?

“Actually, I liked it better when you were annoying. It fits you more,” he huffed. He wanted you to pester him around? You didn’t want to feel that heartache again that he gave you.

“Huh?! If you’re here to insult me again then go away!” You huffed pointing your finger at him.

He grabbed your arm pulling you to him with a smirk plastering his face. “No. I actually would rather risk killing you than you avoid me again.” He pushed you against the tree with one hand close to your head. Your mind was running wild with thoughts. Kill you?

“Fine then, only if you let me get to know the real you instead of pushing me away!” You glared back at him which he stepped forward towards you. He was surprised Satan hasn’t tried to kill you. His heart was growing more fonder of you by the day and it killed him more when you stopped pestering him around because of his cruel behaviour towards you.

At last he would have you here and now.

Cu Chulainn

Knowing Cu was probably a nightmare. He was rude and complained about the gods a lot. What were you even? A human brought to Valhalla and met Cu Chulainn along the way. You weren’t exactly the closest to him but you grew jealous of how much he paid attention to his dog more than you sometimes. However, he had a different side to him whenever he was with his dog Geis.

You sometimes wish you were the dog but you concealed your feelings for him knowing what had happened to other women who tried to confess to him. Morrigan… you were there when she demanded him to marry her and the two fought. Morrigan tried to kill you out of revenge for Cu rejecting her. Yet, something snapped in him and somehow he defeated her within seconds.

Your mind was brought back to you watching Cu with his dog. He even allowed you to pet his dog where as nobody else was allowed to. He trusted you enough to pet him. “He’s not bad when he gets to know someone first.” Cu smiled genuinely watching Geis brush against your side.

“He’s cute! Is he fine with cats?” You looked at Cu who gave you even more of an annoyed look. Cats? What?

“I don’t know?” He was having doubts about where this was going.

“Can he meet my cats?” You clasped your hands together. His dog around a bunch of felines?!

“Hell no, Geis doesn’t need to be around a bunch of annoying cats. Heck, even I don’t want them around me.” Cu turned his head but you didn’t say anything. You accepted Cu’s dog but he wouldn’t even trust a few cats? You had thought because he liked animals, maybe he wouldn’t mind the stray cats you take care of.

“It’s fine! Sorry, I asked. I uh– I have to go back home now anyway!” You didn’t even give him a chance to say anything before leaving.

Cu was rude most days, and you put up with him a lot. You watched him train and talked nonstop in his ear. Even when he was busy, he always found time to check up on you. You didn’t want to admit to him about your feelings for him incase he’d reject you.

So why were you hurt now? Cu would probably kill your cats anyway so it’s better that he wasn’t around them. He can’t even accept one part of you?

Several days had passed without hearing anything from Cu. You were fairly certain this must’ve been the longest you haven’t heard from him. You were too sad to even leave the house, why were men so stubborn? Did he expect you to chase him? You refused to do that as you were stronger than that.

You almost didn’t hear the front door open and you immediately jumped thinking someone entered your home. “Woah, relax.” Cu showed himself from around the corner. He looked more annoyed than you.

“What are you doing here?” Your voice croaked which gave away how upset you were with him. You weren’t only upset about what he thought of your cats but his rude attitude also puts you down at times.

“Heh? You didn’t come by for a few days, so I wanted to see if you’re alive. And Geis too was worried,” he called his dog over who nearly tackled you to the ground and was licking you all over. You were happy but at the same time, this changes nothing.

“Well, I’m alive so you can leave.” You gave him a murderous stare indicating you were mad at him. Cu was irritated with you. Now you’re matching his mood? He was stubborn but he never thought you’d be the same.

“Nah, bring your felines out.” Cu brought an arm up to his forehead to hint at the imaginary headache you were causing him. Would you stop being mad at him if he petted one of your cats?

You perked your head up at him, “not if you’re forcing yourself to meet them.” You pouted.

“I’m asking to,“ he didn’t want to admit that it was indeed to make you stop being mad at him. He missed you.

“Fine, but could you be more nicer to me from now on?” You stood up and gave him a sly smile.

“Whatever, Princess.”

Apollo

Being Apollo’s wife came with both pros and cons. He would either suffocate you with his love and continuously talk nonstop to you about his passion for beauty or he would disappear for days. The disappearing part was recent. He used to stay in the Olympus palace with you most times. This was making you worry whether he was going back to his old ways.

Was he seeing someone new? Was he bored of you now? The unsettling feeling wouldn’t go away. Maybe you shouldn’t wait for him anymore.

“My lady, it’s urgent.” One of the maids opened into your shared room. You looked at her to continue.

“Ah, my apologies. Apollo is severely injured and is asking for you.” Severely?! What? You weren’t even mad anymore. Your worries were filled with intrusive thoughts of him being in a critical condition that may be fatal. You could also be worrying too much.

You rushed out of the room as you heard of the news. Why was he severely hurt? You were going to scold him but as soon as you reached the infirmary where there were many injured Olympus guards, deities and you found Apollo in his own room.

“Agh, what happened?!” You busted open the door and you could see that he was wrapped in bandages. His force went from wide shock to giving you a small smile.

“It’s nothing too major darling—"

“Nothing too major? You’re covered from the chest down in bandages?! I’m hurt, yes. You would go off and disappear for days! I know you’re not telling me things.” You lowered your head and sat next to his bedside.

“I’m sorry for being in such a disgusting unsightly position right now.” He changed the topic back to his beauty which even hurt you even more. Did he only care about his looks?

“Can you take this seriously for once? Agh, maybe I should leave.” You stood up but Apollo sighed and needed to explain why he was gone for days at a time. However, you spoke up again turning to face him.

“I thought you were seeing someone else! And then I hear this, I— I don’t even know.” You covered your mouth with one hand. Apollo was offended you lacked faith in him. In all honestly, it shocked him. However, it was his fault for not telling you the Titan issue so you wouldn’t worry. Yet, he knew he messed up.

“The Titans broke into heaven and Zeus needed all of us.” He grabbed your hands to stop your shaking. You were immensely scared and your worries wouldn’t stop.

Hey, hey, everything is fine.” Apollo pushed some of your hair back behind your ear. You were starting to feel a bit more at ease. You lowered your head on his chest without trying to hurt him. His arms wrapped around your waist. You were calming down and hoping he would recover from this.

Even the titans may return later but you wanted him to be more truthful. “I’m sorry, I overreacted and thought you would hurt me…” you were feeling bad but Apollo still placed one of his hands to his forehead.

“Hmm, no I have no reason to commit infidelity as you’re the only beautiful woman I need to comfort me.” He was so obsessed with beauty even to the point that only you were the most beautiful gem in his eyes.

Okita

Every time you tried to practice your swings and techniques alone, Okita would always make his comments about how you were almost as bad as Hijikata as a joke. You envy him for being a prodigy and that he was right. Souji was the best swordsman in Kondo’s Shieikan training hall. Nothing hurts more than hearing his negative thoughts about your swordplay.

Hijikata was unbothered by the comments hurled at him for being the worst swordsman, and for some reason, you didn’t want to show how bothered you were. Okita-san liked to play around with them and that was what men did. It was a weakness to show your emotional side. You tried to keep your distance from the demon child. For many years you had known Souji, he was incredibly kind to you but that was up until recently when you wanted to learn how to use a sword.

You asked Saitou and Nagakura to help you, but they still won against you every single time. Yet, they never gave you a ton of criticism like how Souji had. They even said you had the potential to be as good as them. It was only Souji who said even if you trained for a hundred years, you wouldn’t ever be as good as him. Maybe he was right, but you weren’t trying to be as good as him. You wondered what changed? Why was he like this towards you?

Even when Kondo took him in, you were just a kid at the time who was also raised by Kondo’s adoptive father and lived at the Shieikan dojo. You even helped Kondo-san take care of Souji and he became incredibly attached and protective of you two. You had wondered if he had thought of you more than someone who just took care of him when he had no one. His sister abandoned him and you reassured him he wasn’t a monster as others saw him as.

When you saw him talking to Saitou and smiling, you felt a bit sad. Why did he act differently around them compared to you? You missed his nice and caring side. You were bothered but you pushed yourself to move on. As you walked away you saw Kondo in another room. “Everything okay?” he had asked which your mind stopped for a moment. You nodded but said nothing.

“You’ve been acting strange these past few days,” he patted you to sit next to him and you couldn’t help but break down your emotions. You couldn’t hold them in any longer. You told Kondo that it was becoming unbearable to be around Souji.

“I don’t think he means it like that, I think he is worried that you’ll get hurt." Kondo took another sip of his tea. You wondered what he meant by that. Get hurt? After some time talking to the boss of the dojo, you started to understand where Souji was coming from. He never spoke to Kondo about his concerns either since men tend to not show their emotions or like to express themselves.

You decided the comments hurt too much and went back to cleaning the dojo and after them. Your friendship felt worse with Souji now. You decided that whatever you thought there was with him before was completely gone now. You saw Yamanami and Saitou practicing inside and they wanted to help you train but you politely declined.

You saw Souji outside sitting at the cherry blossom tree and that was when you walked over to him to confront him with the way he behaved towards you. “You going to explain yourself?” You were standing in front of him and he didn’t look up at you nor spoke for a moment.

“Huh? What?” He gave you an innocent reaction and it irritated you. It was like a sting to your heart and you were just bothering him at this point.

“Seriously? You’re going to play dumb? Never mind, this was a mistake.” You were about to walk away and go back to cleaning but Souji grabbed your sleeved arm so you wouldn’t leave him. Ever since you helped Kondo take care of him, he was afraid you would leave him one day.

“I’m sorry.” He still wouldn’t let go of your arm.

“Huh?” You sat next to him.

“I’m sorry for the way I treated you.” His lips curled up into a smile. His knees were still up to his chest while you knew he meant it.

“It’s okay, I’m not going to practice swordplay anymore with Saitou or Nagakura-san.” You shrugged.

“Why haven't you asked me?”

“I— I don’t know. I don’t want to bother you with trivial things…” This made you fidget with your long sleeves.

“But you’re fine with bothering Hajime-san?” You understood where he was coming from. He was annoyed you never asked him for help and relied on others. Jealous? You didn’t want to make a joke about him being jealous. It was obvious and it makes sense that he wanted to be the one to train you and even protect you.

“So you would help train me without being a prick this time?” You couldn’t help but blush a bit. He looked at you and noticed how flustered you looked.

He nodded, “ya I can do that.” He smiled at you and leaned his body against yours like old times. After all, maybe your friendship could be something else with him.

Note: I really want to write a ton of bs one shots with Cu all of a sudden. Anyway, that’s all for now!

[qwimblenorrisstan]

Saving Grace | Rhysand x Reader

Summary: The war between humans and Fae is about to happen, and you, desperate to save Autumn Court, your home, from the destruction to come, are going to attempt a political alliance with the current High Lord of Night Court’s son, Rhysand.

Word Count: ~ 2k

Warnings: toxic family, political marriage, Beron being annoying, nothing too bad

A/N: the notes you see in the beginning are from another outside character you will meet more later, not me. im trying out something new for this series, so lmk what you think and how you’d want it to go in the future (FOR ALL THE RHYS GIRLIES I SEE YOU) hope you enjoy<3

Requests are open!

It starts anew, as any other tale would.

It is only fair for me to warn you now, that even as I write to you from the box of my new home, the solitary walls pushing in on me until I turn into something else, something new and changing, that you should not proceed.

Our doom was set into place the moment we opened that letter, and so I’ll give you another warning, my dear reader.

You have more power than you think. Be careful how you use it.

~

“I believe you’ll enjoy the letter on your desk, sister.”

Eris spoke in a dry tone, only a hint of his hidden flamboyance underneath the snake's skin he wore most of the time. He had just passed by you in the hallway of the grand palace we called our home in the Autumn Court, something most of the royal family took for granted, even I did to an extent.

Even makeup and magic couldn’t hide the effects that the looming war had on him, the bags under his eyes slightly visible, and the usual cunning spark in his fiery gaze dimmed to some degree. All of your brothers had experienced the same thing to some point, even Lucien.

The rumors were getting worse, and word breaking free everywhere if the human slave revolts. You saw the glimmer in the eyes of the humans that your father enslaved and forced to work here, and even though you could never say it, lest you be beheaded or worse, you thought it was about time their species stood up. You couldn’t imagine being forced into such cruel conditions and not doing anything about it.

Submission never came easily to you, though.

It still doesn’t.

You tried to smile up at Eris, even as he strode past without another word. Relationships in this family were rough, considering how the males just tried to take each other out with every given opportunity. Had you not been born a female, you might’ve suffered the same fate.

You couldn’t help but wonder what the letter on my desk could be, even as you walked to my room. It could be anything, from lunch with a friend, to an opening for a job opportunity anywhere you could help. You wanted to help people, help your struggling Court pull itself together with war on the horizon. Rumor had it that the mortal king, Hybern, was gathering his forces still and that he wouldn’t let go of any of his slaves. Not even one.

Pushing open your already ajar room door, you strode quickly over to the desk, still a bit cluttered from all the different things our mind was trying to think about at the same time while working and writing letters to friends and allies in neighboring courts.

A letter lay on your desk, and not just any letter, but a valuable one, based on the stamp and rich, violet wax that shimmered slightly.

A Night Court stamp.

Considering Night Court wasn’t the closest ally, if an ally at all with Autumn Court, you weren't exactly sure what it meant at the time, or why Eris thought you might be excited about it. How would he even know what was in it, now that you thought of it?

You grabbed the cold metal letter opener, sliding it neatly under the wax, and popping it off satisfyingly. Sliding the warm parchment from its sheath, you unfolded the letter, the details of it surprising you.

The High Lord of Night Court had delivered a letter personally to you, and the contents of it? Nothing but strange.

In short, it was a formal invitation to a Solstice Party, a night where you’d heard that supposedly other spirits would cross over the night sky, making a beautiful scene for all those able to witness it. However, the true reason became apparent at the bottom, where a single sentence blasted holes through all of the male’s fake formality and politeness in the previous statements.

“I’m certain that you and my son would get along quite well.”

An alliance. A political marriage.

That was what he wanted.

To strengthen his alliances while he could before the war began, and to blast away any humans standing in their path. His son might as well have been in on it for all you knew, probably willing to marry you and produce an heir, treating you like breeding cattle. You’d heard rumors of Illyrians before, and they weren’t pretty. Especially not the ones who lived in the mountains.

But the real question was, why would he send it to you, and not your father?

Was it a test? A way to test the boundaries and see if you would go tattle to your father at the littlest prod? Or maybe a way to see how far you were willing to go to ensure the safety of your court during this war.

You didn’t believe in slavery. You never had. But for your court, your home, and all the other courts as well to possibly be destroyed by unruly humans? That would be disastrous. Their species didn’t stand a chance, anyway. Not when they had inferior strength, weapons, and not a lick of magic.

But still…in the case that they did manage something, the reassurance of an alliance between your courts could help.

The only question was whether to involve your father or not. If you did, he would probably refuse to trade you away for an alliance with Night Court, waiting for a better deal from a people that had more items to trade or land to offer. Sure, Night Court had the most land and soldiers, but there were little to no trade routes running openly through the area, leaving little economic profit other than what they earned on their own. The Illyrian Steppes were too harsh for anyone to handle, and Hewn City could barely be counted as an economy it was so small.

In that small moment, you made a decision that would change both of our existences, the decision to hide it. Your father wouldn’t understand, and you were doing this for the better of your court. You were doing it to help him, to save your people from what you suspected to be carnage ahead.

You didn’t realize you’d been staring at the letter for so long until you heard your door creak a bit wider open, and you immediately whirled, putting the letter face down onto your desk. Lucien cocked a brow, his hazel eyes immediately going to the letter in what looked like suspicion.

“Hiding something?”

He asked, and you rolled your eyes, biting your lip slightly in what looked to be an expression of a flustered female.

“I don’t think you’d like to read the letters of my most recent lover, Luci.”

His expression immediately changed, going to being a bit caught off guard himself, before he shook his head. He gestured for you to follow him, and before you did, you slipped the letter between the small crack of the shelf and the desk itself. He only gave you a withering glance at that, and you glared back.

“I wouldn’t want anyone else finding it. Imagine if Beron found it.”

You said in a wry tone, and Lucien let out an undignified snort at that while he led you down to the dining hall, the first bit of laughter you’d managed to coax out of him in a while. You must’ve lost track of time while thinking, a common habit of yours.

“Yes, I don’t think he’d appreciate a letter from one of your notorious lovers.”

He said in a quieter tone, probably not wanting anyone else to overhear. Rumors of the royal family spread too quickly for their good, especially when the human servants were paid by others, sometimes journalists, to spill the drama.

Most of it, of course, was made up simply to get money, but sometimes…the rumors were true enough to make you be a lot more secretive with what you did and displayed in public, and even behind closed doors. Eyes and ears were everywhere, after all.

“Notorious is a strong word.”

You mumbled in an amused tone, right as you entered the dining room, your father at the head of the table, your mother to his left, Eris to his right, and all your other brothers seated miscellaneously. Lucien sat down in his spot, and you sat in yours that was beside his, your other brother to your right.

“I’m glad you finally decided to join us, Y/N.”

Your father’s monotonous but still annoyed voice rang out from the head of the table as he began to eat, signaling everyone else could as well. You stabbed a potato with your fork, taking a small bite to give yourself time to formulate a coherent response to it, something that you could use to distract from the letter you’d gotten. Unless…

Swallowing your food, you spoke.

“I received a letter.”

The sentence alone was a challenge. The normal response would be a formal apology for your tardiness to dinner, which was more like an event you had to attend than any family activity. You didn’t go on, another challenge. Making him wait for you to speak.

The silence grew oppressive, and you continued eating. Your brothers watched, some openly staring in confusion, Eris only glancing once with something of a warning in his eyes, and Lucien stared down at his plate, probably already having figured out that the letter he’d seen you hide hadn’t been one from a lover.

Your mother then pinned you with her sharp gaze, the intelligence behind her submissive figure clear in the moment. Even if your father wasn’t smart enough to see it like you did.

“What did it contain?”

She asked, intervening between you and your father. Your father didn’t so much as glance at her, now scowling and staring at you. You put your fork down on your napkin, swallowing a mouthful of delicious food before speaking again.

“I’ve been invited to Night Court.”

You spoke, looking up to meet your father’s gaze, unwavering. He seemed to tense at that, and the news you’d shared with him.

“Why.”

He demanded, his eyes narrowing.

“For the prospect of seeking out an alliance in your stead. Though with the coming war, it might be my last chance to see Night Court at all.”

Everyone tensed at that, your casual but realistic words hitting right where they should’ve. Reminding everyone of the insecurity in the court, that the coming war could kill you, or take out Night Court. The latter Beron wouldn’t mind, but the former…you were a valuable trading piece for him, one that he didn’t want to dispose of through your possibly untimely demise.

Beron swallowed, sighing through his nose as he broke his stare to glance down at his plate, clearly considering it. Eris then spoke up.

“If I may, she has a point, father. An alliance with the Night Court and their considerable armies could prove useful during the battle to come.”

He spoke, glancing over at you with a clear look of “You had better know what you’re doing.” You didn’t know why he was helping you, considering he’d probably looked inside the letter. His words to you, that you would enjoy the letter, only supported that theory. For whatever reason he wanted you to go into Night Court wasn’t clear, but he was helping you nonetheless.

Beron finally spoke, everyone holding their breath.

“Very well. You will remain there 2 months at most, but at any hint of attack, you will return here immediately.”

You gave a dip of your head in obedience and appreciation, before going back to your dinner as the tension remained in the room. You had told your father of the alliance prospect, but nothing of a political marriage. A half-truth at best.

You were going to Night Court, to woo the heir to the throne and convince him to marry you for an alliance, all in time to save your Court before the first attack came.

The real question was, would you be quick enough?

We’ll see.

[xsleepinggoodx]

Heloooo! could you make some hcs on bonten? on mikey, ran, rin, sanzu, koko? separate? Thank youuu!

Hi queen I AM SO SORRY FOR DELAYING THIS! I had so much to do for school but here it is finally!!❤️Thank you so much for asking!

I love bonten sm like it really only had like at least 4 panels but damn it stole the whole show💀

I don’t know if you wanted me to have some nsfw or not so I just wrote fluff, if you want me to make an NSFW please let me know 🙏 I will have no problem with writing it.

Bonten X Reader

!She/her pronouns!

characters: Mikey, Ran, Rindou, Sanzu, and Kokonoi

WARNINS: drug abuse, E.D., murder, slight suggestive (for Ran obvi) angst, (Mikey :( )

Slight NSFW for Sanzu

………………………………………………….…………………………..

MANJIRO SANO (Mikey)

- I see a lot of writers writing bonten mikey as like heartless and completely cruel, especially to reader. I feel like he’d be stoic in public with you but behind closed doors, he’s on your lap, completely tender and soft with you.

- If you and him knew each other before, he begged you not to come with him when he was leaving before Takemitchi time-skipped, he wanted you to just forget about him and pretend he didn’t exist. But you just couldn’t. You were all he had. He couldn’t let you go. He’d miss you too much.

-if you guys met when he’s already in bonten, at first he’d be cold to you, like he’d be to anyone. But little by little he’d warm up to you.

-You’d probably be an executive there so he’d have you as his advisor instead of Takeomi. As you get closer to him, he’d definitely replace Sanzu with you. (Lmao poor sanzu)

-I just can’t picture Mikey sleeping around that much. Like he’d have a couple of women he slept with but he would be emotionally detached from anyone, well until he met you.

- has you always next to him in meetings, if you are sitting at a table, he’d have his hand on your thigh or holding your hand, it comforts him.

-When bonten is murdering hostages and Sanzu is laughing maniacally shooting them, Mikey prefers you to not attend those times, he specifically asked you to stay back. He doesn’t want you seeing those moments. However if you are there, he’d ask you to at least talk to him to distract himself from all the violence going on.

-Kisses your cheek and does small gestures that really flutters your 💜 . Even if it’s subtle, he just always wants to feel your warmth.

- He really appreciates you and values you more than anything. He’d spend times with you and suddenly he’s 15 again, hanging out with his friends. It makes him feel bittersweet. But you’re always there to comfort him.

- I feel like he takes heavy drugs. He’d completely go berserk and mass murder anyone he sees due to his dark impulses so he’d definitely use it all in drugs, he’d truly try to stop if you ask him though. (Poor guy😭)

- The more you guys would spend time together, the more he grew attached to you. Trying so hard not to fall in love, only failing when he sees small things you do that make him feel…something. He hasn’t felt anything for a long time.

-He loves you more than anything. He’d be super protective of you and always be by your side, only asking the same for him, and you’d gladly do it.

………………………………………………………………………………

RAN HAITANI

- Ran is always, always flirting with you, trying to get a reaction from you, especially if you’re the stoic type.

- He’d purposely glide his hands on your waist if he’s walking behind you, try to trip you and play the hero prince charming and catch you. It will always end up with you huffing and sticking your cute nose in air and he finds it so adorable.

- before you guys are a thing, he slept with a lot of women. Some even call him a womanizer. He’s famous in the brothel they own for sleeping with all the women. But he has his eyes on someone else~

- Always asking you bizarre questions that are unrelated to any topics you were talking about prior, just to annoy you. If you actually answer he’d be surprised and ask more.

- You two along with Rindou do hostage murders together (I seriously don’t know what rich mafia people do so sorry😭) he’s always whistle when he sees you taking the lead and getting the job done.

- if you two are dating, he’d sometimes just push you against a wall in the rich hallways and make out with you or like discretely tease you buy touching your lower back trying to get past you or playing with your hair, anything to get a reaction from you.

- Behind all the flirting from Ran, he’s actually really sweet.

-If you’re really busy with Bonten paper work, and you haven’t eaten yet, he’ll immediately buy you lunch. He knows what you like, what you don’t, what to take out, etc. HE KNOWS IT ALL.

-He’s very observant himself and takes note of everything you talk about, say you were talking about a book you wanted to Koko or Rindou, he’d listen and he’d buy it. Presenting it to you a day later.

-He’s a hopeless romantic at heart so he’ll be very romantic with you. Loves so much, he’d didn’t even realize it until Rindou pointed it out.

- He’s so silly.

………………………………………………………………………………

RINDOU HAITANI

- Rindou is less flirtatious with you and more salty.

- I honestly imagine he has a similar personality as Tsukkishima from Haikyuu. He likes to mock and poke fun at you, his own way of getting reactions from you.

- Although under all this, he’s sweet and nice with you. He’d buy you things you didn’t even ask for, refusing to take it back.

-I honestly think that even though he’s rich-rich and you’d think he’d want a materialistic girlfriend, he actually prefers someone who’s more humble than he is. Someone who doesn’t care about that stuff. And that was really hard to find until he met you.

-He definitely has his fair share of experience ifykyk. But he doesn’t do that anymore now that he has you. He’s even willing to wait for you if you don’t want to do it yet.

-Very laid back, of. He has his mean moments with others but like Mikey he’s wrapped around your finger the more he gets to know you.

-he feels foolish from his own self when he hears you talking about your innocent, priceless dreams. He thinks about how good it is that he hears another perspective on life. Especially from you.

-He’s has more intuition than Ran so he can catch your mood in an instant.

- he’s a huge listener so he’ll listen with no problem if you’re talkative. He LOVES your voice and can hear you talk all day.

-He knows everything you like, even if you guys weren’t dating, I’d imagine he’d know what you like even before hand what you like.

-You two would have a haters to lovers kind of relationship. But he’d fall first❤️

-He’s very loving to you.

-Honestly one of my favorite characters from TR

……………………………..,..,,,………………………………………

SANZU HARUCHIYO

- crazy mf.

-But I love him and he’s highly misunderstood.

-Realistically, he’s a very bipolar guy, like it’d take a while for him to finally warm up to you since he idolizes and worships Mikey. But you’d definitely be his favorite the more he hangs out with you.

- He is very protective of you. Anyone who crossed you, consider them dead. He will make sure of that.

- He always puts a facade that he doesn’t care about you, but little by little that mask breaks. He would not verbally show his liking towards you but his facial features very much tells you how he feels about you.

-he worships the ground you step on. As he thinks Mikey is a king. You’re his queen and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to satisfy you.

- If he sees you talking to a man that’s not bonten executives, he immediately stands next to you and removes you from the conversation, saying a lie like “we have something to do”

-when you’d ask him why he did that he just leave you with, “you’re not allowed” with no reasoning at all.

-He does very tiny things to show his feelings for you but as I said, he’s very difficult to love someone that isn’t Mikey (NO SHIP TRUST ME, tjsi is just from the manga since Sanzu refers to Mikey as a king.)

-I feel like he has very crazy thoughts, like his mind is a prison from how much he went through. (Like come on, watching his big brother figure drown himself and then watching the same thing happening to Mikey? So traumatic, on top of that Takeomi is so unfair to him. :()

- As we see from the manga, he takes a lot of drugs to make him forget and get high. He tries to chase the same feeling, but then he finds you so basically, you’re his new drug.

-Sex is another drug to him, he still does it when you’re around but lately, he’s been imagining you while fing another prostitute from the brothels. Searching for your same features and having the poor girl, ass up as he pounds her from behind. Thinking of you. Take that as you will.

- he’s severely touched starved and he doesn’t he know it, so when he realizes he falls for you, he wants your comfort but is too prideful to say so. He suffers alone where all he wants is to be in your arms :(

……………………………………………………………………………..

KOKONOI HAJIME

- Kokonoi buys things for you, things that you didn’t even ask for. He’s like a mom. He buys dresses and clothes for you and wants you to try them on, giving him a little fashion show. Any dress that you both don’t like gets returned.

- I honestly picture him with a girl who is very priceless. Like opposites attract he’s materialistic and you’re more cheap or not attracted to what money gives you. I feel like that type of person would help him break this obsessive thought about wanting money.

- you helped him get over Akane. So now he’s obsessed over you. Not so much as Sanzu but he just likes to be in your presence.

- Kokos type of girl is someone who is witty, intelligent, and cunning. He can’t stand bimbo girls. He also needs someone who’s sweet. He has a habit of overworking himself, he needs someone to burden his burdens with him.

- He buys you things even if you refuse. He has this need to spoil you, especially if you grew up with the bare minimum or below.

- He would say he doesn’t think of you as a love but does things that literally mean more than friends. He can’t help it.

—————————————————————————-

That’s all for now, let me know if you want the rest of the bonten members.

And again I AM SO SORRY RESPONDING SO LATE. I was so caught up in school!

I’d HIGHLY recommend checking out Meraki_Unwritten on Wattpad. Her stories are so SO GOOD lIKE I HAVE A CORE MEMORY READING HER STORIES IN SUMMER OF 2023. Please check her out! This is important because I’m going on Rindou’s personality based off her book “Dollface” a RINDOU X READER book! she has a Mikey one, Sanzu, Ran, Rindou. They are all finished, the Mikey one is on the road to finishing! She had a Kakucho and Izana one but it’s unfortunately discontinued since she’s graduating college, But I am happy for her! She’s such a good writer and her books will make you happy, sad, etc. SHE IS SUCH A GOOD WRITER AND IM HER BIGGEST FAN. IF SHE HAS ZERO FANS, IM DEAD!

[r0ttenhearts]

You Promised

scaramouche x reader, modern au.

angst, insults, no comfort

being scaramouche’s friend was.. challenging. having to put up with his snarky comments, sometimes cruel behavior, but you loved him. you had been his friend since childhood, trailing behind him even in high school. but if it wasn’t you who else would it be? scaramouche had a history of not getting along with your peers, always having to apologize for him and the things he says.

in a way you were dependent on each other. he counted on you to keep him company and out of trouble, and you cared deeply for him that you only wanted to spend your time with him. so then came the promise. the promise to go to college together and become roommates, leaving behind your broken families and tragic pasts as you both planned to go into adulthood together.

but somewhere along the way he started acting.. different. it was the last year of high school and the time to apply to college was coming up. you nudged scaramouche as he was drifting off to sleep next to you.

“hey! scara! wake up. we haven’t picked out a college yet.”

“i don’t care.. just pick something and i’ll manage to find something i want to do.” he grumbled.

you shake your head as you click on several websites until deciding on one. now all that was left was to find student housing on campus. you figured you’d do that with scara once he was awake.

watching him sleep felt almost comforting. his usual smirk off of his face and replaced with a relaxed expression was refreshing. even in his sleep he would find tranquility. a tap on scaramouches shoulder broke your trance as you watched the blonde girl shake him awake.

of course it was lumine. scaramouche yawned as he nodded up at lumine, her hands on his as you watched him being pulled out of the classroom by her.

it seemed like ever since she had come along he had kept his distance from you. your usual friday sleepovers turned to afternoons on wednesdays with lumine taking up his time on those days.

what was so special about her?

sure she was.. beautiful but what did she have that you didn’t?

she hadn’t known scaramouche since practically birth like you did. she hasn’t been the one to comfort him when his mother would say the meanest words to him.

so how?

how had she managed to whisk him away from your life?

you sighed, packing your bag as you knew better than to wait on him. you already knew he’d be walking her home rather than you.

once you got home you sat at your desk, hearing bloops as you put your headset on. it was scaramouche, messaging you if you wanted to play minecraft. you joined the call as the both of you played minecraft together.

you felt happy.. finally an afternoon when he wasn’t with her. he was having fun with you instead.

oh how you missed these days.

“hey scara, how do i cut this? this mod is confusing..” you struggled with cutting a tomato with a new food mod he had added to your server. he was silent on the other end of the call before he spoke, scaring you as you just stared at your monitor.

“archons.. how annoying could you be? you ask me for help with every little thing.

i get it your small brain can’t comprehend basic common sense, but do you have to bother me for everything?

and you want to go to college? when you can’t even figure out how to cut something on fucking minecraft?”

you stayed silent as he went on a tangent about how he really thought of you. your hands off of your keyboard as tears slipped from your eyes, rolling down your cheeks.

“i cant believe i promised to go to college with you. you know— i didn’t even want to. i just said it because i pity you. i know how much you need me when i don’t even need you. it’s so fucking funny to me how the ONE normal person in your life can’t stand you. but there you are, always following me around like a sick puppy.

it’s pitiful y/n it really is.

and you know what? i’m going to go to college with lumine instead. she’s so much more tolerable to be around than you. she doesn’t blab to me about the smallest shit i couldn’t care less about.

i know the way you look at me and i promise you i’ll never feel the same. id rather die then spend another lifetime with you.”

you choked back a sob as you grit your teeth, yelling a “fuck you.” into your mic as you shut off the server. you sobbed into your hands as you heard numerous pings coming from your dm with him.

scara: oh now you’re gonna cry? little y/n finally grew some balls now huh?

scara: too bad for you. you’re alone now. lumine was here beside me watching your stupid little outburst. have fun facing us in school for that next few weeks.

scara: don’t forget who made you. you would’ve stayed the same loser you were back then if it weren’t for me.

scara: you’re nothing

scara: you have no friends for a reason you whiney bitch

you screamed, holding onto your mouse as you clicked the bright red block button over his profile. angry tears leaked from your eyes as you pulled out your phone, blocking him on all of the social media you had him added on.

how didn’t you see it? you knew he was becoming distant but you didn’t think he hated you.

your heart ached at the thought of your life without him. the reminder that he had chosen lumine over you felt like being stabbed.

but had he ever cared for you? the same thing way you did him?

how did the once sweet, shy scaramouche turn into this monster you couldn’t recognize?

you spent the rest of the school year alone. avoiding his and lumine’s gazes every time you walked into the classroom. you’d ignore his comments and his constant need to throw small wads of paper at you.

you never thought you’d be on the receiving end of his cruelty but here you were, loud laughs as lumine pointed at you while they stood together.

how you wished to get away from them as soon as possible.

once it was graduation, you didn’t bother showing up to the ceremony. instead you picked up your diploma from the front office. you were finally going to get the fuck out of there.

you got home and packed your things, you had picked a college in a foreign region. sumeru, the nation of knowledge.

you smiled as you boarded your flight, no one to greet you off as you sat there. a feeling of relief washing over you as the plane took off.

“goodbye to the boy i once knew, and the home that wasn’t really home.”

part 2

[riri0000i]

Choso had always been the easy target. Since kindergarten. He was mentally weak, anti-social, and never responded to any provocation. Girls called him creepy, a freak, while boys raised their hands at him as a "joke". He spent mornings at school trying to not be noticed by people like you, without any success, of course. He had no one to hang out with and the only thing he did outside school was taking care of his siblings and pulling all-nighters in front of the computer, talking to the only people who could understand his loneliness.

A real loser.

" Oops, my bad Choso!" You chimed with a fake guilty face. Your friends were all laughing, some even taking pictures with their smartphones. Choso didn't move an inch from his chair, letting you pour the probably expired milk carton on his head.

" Hey! Don't frame me with this creep too." You said, noticing that a friend of yours was also taking pictures of you.

" It's not like the teacher cares anyway. " She responded. She was right: teachers gained nothing from defending students like Choso. Your school was one of those elite schools, mainly attended by people like you: rich and mean, with disgusting pastimes like making other people's lives miserable. And then there were those like Choso, who had earned the scholarship by studying.

" I know, but today I forgot to put my lashes on." Your answer made your friends laugh again and you joined them. Before class began you looked at Choso, drenched in milk. You met his tired eyes, as soon as he noticed your gaze he looked down. His weakness pissed you off.

“ Pathetic dog.”

౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆

The chemistry professor was explaining biomolecules, there were maybe five students who were actually listening to him. You were not one of them: you were scrolling on your phone and the few times you looked up you watched how your friends sitting next to Choso tormented him, by kicking at his chair or throwing pieces of paper at him. Nothing new.

" For this topic I would like you to work in pairs by doing a project. I will select the pairs based on your grades." The teacher said before clearing his throat for the umpteenth time.

Shit, this is the worst.

You had seen the scoreboard from the last chemistry test and you were last while Choso... He was first, just like in any other subject. The teacher began to list the pairs and, as you predicted, you ended up with that loser. When Choso heard your name he felt his stomach turn in anxiety, he feared you more than anyone else. To him you were simply cruel. There was no sign, however slight, of kindness in your soul. To make it worse was your pretty face which, at first glance, was impossible to associate with your awful personality. Choso would be lying if he said he didn't find you attractive. Maybe you were the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on.

" Turn in the project by next week." The teacher concluded before the bell rang.

" Can't believe that you have to do this with that creep!" Your friend laughed.

After a sigh: " Fuck it, I hate that teacher. Bet he did it on purpose." You said with a pissed tone. You noticed that Choso was watching you. You got up from your chair with another annoyed sigh and positioned yourself in front of his desk: hands on your hips and a fake smile on your lips, the usual one you used to make before saying a cruel comment.

" I don't want to be seen hanging around with you, much less in my house." You spat.

Choso replied in his insecure, shaky voice: " We can do it at my house... I warn you I have brothers so—

" Okay. See you later."

౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆

Number not Saved : 602. Apartment building X. Near Y station.

You : I'm taking the train rn.

Choso was nervous. It was his first time having a girl at home. Fortunately his brothers were staying late at school that day. He quickly took a shower, getting rid of the smell of milk that earned him several stares by strangers. Being the loser he was, he asked for advice on Reddit to avoid being overly weird.

Knock Knock.

Choso jumped at the knocks on the door, interrupting his reading “How to Look More Sociable in 3 Steps”. You arrived a little late, not expecting the train to take so long.

" Come in..." He said, opening the door for you. You didn’t even say hello, you just sighed, as if you were forced to do the hardest work job on earth. As you looked around (It was the first time you had seen such a small apartment) Choso couldn’t look away from your body. You were so cute in that little outfit. It was the first time he had seen you without your uniform outside school. He would never admit it but Choso stalkled your instagram account several times (resulting in messy erections every time you posted bikini photos). The miniskirt you were wearing was surely going to distract him. He felt something twitching in his pants. Face instantly pink in embarrassment.

Oh. Oh no. No. God, no.

“ Are we doing this stupid project or what?” You asked, breaking the silence. Lucky him, he was wearing loose clothes. You didn’t notice anything.

“ Oh. Yeah… Follow me.” He responded quietly, his body tensing up. You noticed how Choso loses some of his loser appearance without the school uniform. He wore black sweatpants, a baggy sweater and his usual glasses. If he was one of your friends you might have complimented his look.

" Uhh.. You can sit on the bed… Or on the chair, you decide." He said in his usual passive tone. You huffed, sitting on his bed. It smelled like him. You were quite disappointed by the normality of his room (yes, you were expecting an otaku room: full of action figures, bodypillows and posters).

That miniskirt…I bet she did it on purpose. The sight of a pretty girl like you on his bed made Choso’s mouth go dry. He hated you but at the same time it was impossible to not admire your beauty.

" Hope you don't expect me to do anything about that project, do you, Choso?" You said with a smile on your lips. Obviously, Choso knew he would do most, if not all, of the work. He nodded, muttering something to himself. Before you could add any mean comment Choso sat down and started typing on his keyboard. Your initial idea was to find something weird, or childish, in his room and bully him but it was all so… Normal. With the excuse of going to the bathroom you explored the house.

Oh. One of his brothers is Itadori Yuuji? You looked at one of the photos hanging in the hallway. Although he didn't attend your school, Itadori Yuuji was quite popular. And he was popular for good reasons: athletic, generous and nice. You returned to Choso's room, who seemed focused on his work. You looked at him. It annoyed you to admit it but—he had a nice face. Cute, if you had to be honest. But he was unable to maintain a good self-image: he stuttered and couldn't keep eye contact, dark circles partly hidden by the nerdy glasses he wore, hair loose and messy and his posture screamed "I'm weak.”

Ugh. How can Choso be related to Itadori?

After a while: " I'm getting bored." You said as you approached Choso. His heart missed a beat, the last time you had said those words one of your friends put out a cigarette on Choso's palm just to entertain you.

" Uh, umm.. I doubt there's anything fun here..."

" Don't you have any games on your computer?" Choso was taken aback by your question.

" …Y-Yes?" He answered but Choso was sure you had other intentions, like finding another way to bully him. Standing up, you placed yourself beside him, leaning against his chair. Choso could smell a sugary scent from your clothes and hair, it was intoxicating. You watched how his long fingers trembled.

Oh, his hands are so big.

" Uh, uhmm y-you can sit here… I'll get another chair— Before Choso could add another word you sat on his lap. His body froze in surprise. Your ass on his crotch. You rested your back on his muscular chest, waiting for him to start playing. How was he supposed to respond to this?

" Oh, I like this game." You commented as if nothing was wrong.

“ R-Really..? I’ll p,play it then…”

He’s already hard.

To hold the controller Choso had to practically hug you. The way he would struggle to stay still and whisper an "I'm sorry" every time he accidentally touched you was so funny to you. But it was even more fun to rub your warm pussy against his erected sex, feeling his hot breath against the skin of your neck.

“ D-Don’t … P-Please, don’t move like that..” He nervously gulped. Because of that miniskirt Choso could sense the slightest movement you made against his body and thanks to that miniskirt you could feel how Choso's erection throbbed against your panties.

“ Like what?” You teased, shifting your weight again. Choso's body was trembling. You could feel his heartbeat racing. He was squeezing the controller to maintain his calm, feeling his inside burning at the softness of your body against his crotch. The miniskirt you were wearing was not helping at all, allowing Choso the sight of your lacy pink panties. It made his head dizzy and his erection harder, almost painful. How can a girl like you be so naughty?

" I.. S-Stop teasing me." He finally spoke up, trying to sound angry. His voice shaky and weak. You smiled and finally turned your body, now face-to-face with him. The movement resulted in another rubbing against his cock, now covered with a layer of sticky precum. Choso's face was red with embarrassment, his eyes glossy and he tried his best to hold back little moans by biting his lip. He was a mess.

" Choso~" Having you in front of him was wayy worse. You were so pretty and so close , your soft tits pressed against his sweaty chest. On your face that mischievous, almost cruel, smile. Your cheeks pink and your breath left shivers on his skin. His tip poked your wet cunt. You could feel he was big.

Maybe eight inches? It’s always the quiet ones.

" I, I can't take it anymore, p-please..." He whined like a little puppy. You gently moved a few strands of hair behind his ear and took off his glasses, throwing them on the floor. Shit, he was really handsome like that. You kissed him. Choso’s first kiss. Your lips soft and hot, leaving trails of a cherry gloss on his. He moaned inside your mouth, unable to follow your lewd rhythm. Your scent, your taste and your touch were making him obsessed, resulting in a messy and incoherent kiss.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, this is too much. He reached his limit. The same second you tried to reach the tip of his cock with your fingers he came, sobbing your name and leaving a cum stain on his pants.

“ I,I’m s—sorry…” His voice breathless, dick still twitching in pleasure. He continued to apologize with teary eyes, without knowing how erotic that scene was to you.

I want to fuck him.

[darknessisafriend]

Oooh, 2) would be right on point for Commodus in a way...but 18) would be also very interesting, in an ancient setting of course.

Here you go! As you will notice I got a bit carried away, I got insipired and defined a nice setting for this smut! I hope you will enjoy it, do not hesistate to comment ^^ For logistical reasons, historic accuracy, it won’t happen in a bathroom because there were no bathrooms, and the public latrines are not possible either in that context, but the tavern is there as well as the rest 😉

                                           The disappointing son , Commodus x Reader

Roman itinerary camp, back from a military campaign in the north, heading back home, to Rome

“Do you think Commodus will share a drink with us tonight too?” spoke a centurion, ruffling his own damp hair after removing his helmet, sitting down at a table with his fellows.

“Quite sure yes, he likes being with us.” Replied one of his companions joyfully; felt nice to have those from above by their side.

“He doesn’t like just to be with us. He comes for her too.” Commented the third man, a lieutenant eating bread and goat cheese, pointing with his fingers full of food towards a waitress. You, dress in Gaelic dress but without any of your cultural jewels that had been taken away. “Since she arrived in the camp, he comes here. I don’t think it’s just a coincidence.”

“Why would he come for a slave? Sure, he could find more refined whores. Leave us that one.” Commented the other, looking at you hungrily.

“No, I wouldn’t do that if I were you. The governor Durocortorum offered slaves to the imperial family; the son chose her. Why do you think she remains untouched while being all day among us? No one wants Commodus to slit our throats.” Grinned the first one, passing finger on his jugular.

“And you know what else I think? I think that from the start she got her eyes on him, I saw the way she looks at him. A man told me once, the power of a man is in his fist but the one of a woman is between her thighs!”

“CENTURIONS, SOLDIERS SALUTE!” announced a general entering the tavern, making everyone stand at attention “His imperial highness Commodus grants us his company again tonight! Do not bring me shame.” He spoke as Commodus entered, he didn’t wear any armor, only his imperial tunic, a dagger sheathed around his hips. He entered with a smile, his eyes scanning the tent and instantly landing on you.

“See? Told you…” whispered the soldier to his comrades, thankfully not heard by the heir of Marcus Aurelius.

“Rest at ease my friends! Once again, enjoy the victory we inflicted to our enemies and celebrate on all our way back to Rome!” he said, making everyone cheer and go back to their business. He greeted a few officers and generals. Commodus did not notice that you had briefly exited the tent to look at yourself on a bronze plate, making sure you looked good enough. You were determined to get Commodus, at first it had only been because you wanted to escape that old pervert governor. And ensure some physical safety, food and a roof over your head with someone of the imperial family, you had seen an immense opportunity for power.

But then you sighed, annoyed as you fixed your hair. You were developing interest into that young man, he turned out not being stupid, nor cruel to you. In fact, he was rather nice to talk to and treated you with more respect than you ever got. If you fell for him, you would let him do whatever he wanted of you, and you didn’t want that, you wanted enough power to gain freedom. “I have to keep a clear mind...” you murmured to yourself, easier said than done. You went back inside the tent right in time as his gaze had grown almost worried, he was looking for you.

“Oh! Y/N! come here!” he called almost too joyfully. Was he already drunk? You thought as you bowed your head at him and approached. He sat at a table by himself, but close to the table of the gossiping centurions.

“Your highness.” You greeted him since he had pretty much allowed you to address him from the first moment. “What shall I serve you?” you asked with a pretty smile.

“From you, I would accept anything, and it would taste divine.” He flirted with a candid smile, his eyes shining, he kind of looked foolish you thought. He was a prince, surely, he had all women at his feet. Still, it didn’t prevent you from blushing.

“Then, I shall serve you posca freshly brewed. We have warm bread and goat cheese. We also have roasted boar tonight.” You suggested holding your wooden tray against your chest, he really had charm despite the absurdity of the situation.

“Then so be it Y/N.” he beamed and before you left to get his order, he caught your hand “Oh and take whatever you desire for yourself. I wish for you to join my table tonight.” He spoke, letting go of your hand. You looked at him with wide eyes, had you heard correctly!? The men nearby had stopped chatting, trying to watch the scene.

“Thank you, your highness. But forgive me, are you sure? Don’t mistaken my words I would be very pleased.” you questioned, you knew that questioning his invitation was an insult to his superior status, but his request was…

His eyes darkened briefly, throwing a look at the soldiers that were too curious “Yes, I am extremely sure.” Then he laughed, focusing on you again “Are you worried I might run into trouble?” he cooed, finding it adorable “The men here are also loyal to me, they won’t speak of it. And if for some reason my father finds out…it will just earn me a lecture about virtue. I can survive.” He winked at you, making your cheeks burn. If there was something you liked in a man was confidence and power. He was terrifying already and could only imagine what it would become once he reached the throne.

“I am reassured. Thank you, highness.” You replied sweetly, your smile more natural this time, you didn’t keep your head clear for long. You went to the kitchen to collect his order, feeling the look of men on you, intrigued, amazed, some whispering about the scandal of the prince seducing you so openly. You couldn’t help but chuckle, he was courageous…you decided to steal a look at him as the cook cut pieces of meat for Commodus and you. The prince was handsome, you saw the resemblance with his father, yet he had the air of a fox. He always seemed like he was amusing himself with his eyes shining mischievously, with that little grin…it made your gaze stop on lips, you found them very attractive, especially that hale lip, it made him even more special.

“Hey I’m talking to you! It’s not because the prince is getting you a meal that you have to slack off.” Scolded you the cook, bringing you back to reality. You quickly nodded, putting everything on the tray, adding some fresh fruits since you didn’t have the luxury to eat some every week. You hurried back to the young prince, muttering an insult in your native tongue towards the cook. Commodus’ eyes followed your every movement, almost as if he was devouring you with his gaze.

He made you sit in front of him, setting a plate for you as well since you didn’t quite dare to do it yourself. In any case, you also knew that the image of Commodus doing this for you was a terrible advantage.

“Allow me.” You spoke, taking the wine and serving him first, generously, for you a little for now. If you got him drunk, you thought, you would get his true intentions with you. Or perhaps you could convince him to take you closer to him. The prince smiled and the two of you started eating; you did your best to eat correctly, not showing you were famished and answering his questions.

Commodus was genuinely interested into you, wanting to know about your family, where you grew up, what you enjoyed doing in your free time…well before you got turned into a slave by a Germanic clan.  Turns out you were enjoying once again talking with him, drinking wine alongside him, giggling as he joked or as he told you about his life in Rome, it made you marvel.

“I do love your accent...” he complimented at some point, loving the rawness of it, the way you didn’t roll the ‘r’ like romans did. You felt your cheeks burn at the praise, briefly pinching your lis together. You wanted to compliment him back but you didn’t dare, not in public.

“How much longer until we reach Rome?” you asked him curiously, refilling both your glasses once again, your cheeks were burning from alcohol as well, and your minds not as clear as before, you were simply enjoying that moment with him.

“We have about two more weeks travel if the weather conditions are good. Are you tired of traveling already? Or is it the company of so many soldiers? Are they bothering you?” replied Commodus, clearly, he enjoyed chatting.

“I am a woman of the city, highness. I’m used to a certain comfort, that until the barbarians invaded my town and sold me to another clan which then gifted me to you.” You listed bitterly, you had suffered greatly as a woman and you’d rather not think about it. “None of them were tender to me. You are the first one to consider me human…you will understand naturally that I’m not comfortable around so many warriors even if those didn’t bother me. I suspect it is thanks to you.” You explained to him as he drank posca, the disadvantage was that such cheap drink got you drunk pretty fast, especially if you were not used to it. Commodus was used to only savoring expensive red wines. The cheerful smile he had briefly faded, his eyes detailed you, he understood and seemed almost angry.

“Believe me or not, I am not fond of trading women and children in war. They are the shield, and we are the sword; treat a shield poorly and the sword won’t be of help for long.” He simply replied and looked around. The moment he did so everyone looked away, making him grin and leaned closer to you to whisper “I shall hope they remain afraid for long. I don’t want them to touch you.” He clearly said, making your heart skip a beat.

“Would that bother you so much?” you asked in an equally low tone; there he was talking. You couldn’t help but feel flattered, wanting to have his protection. His eyes detailed your face, briefly gazing at your mouth.

“Immensely. I would probably kill them.” He breathed, his hand squeezing his cup of wine, he could almost deform it. You smiled genuinely, loving those words that almost sounded like a promise.

“That would be hard to do if I you are in your palace in Rome and I…among the soldiers.”

“Who said you would remain with them? I chose you, you are mine Y/N. And I shall keep you close enough.” He retorted possessively before looking around “How about I take you away now? I’m tired of the way they look at you, us. Don’t you?” He suggested, a playful glow in his eyes. Clearly Commodus enjoyed going against the wind. You detailed him, trying to retain a grin. After all, why not? you already imagined yourself in his possession, even more untouchable by others.

“What would that imply Commodus?” you purred, your foot under the table going to brush along his leg. He shifted in his seat, reacting instantly, licking his lips in anticipation. You had gone so bold after a few drinks and Commodus couldn’t hide his emotions that well anymore.

“Anything you could desire. Much better wine and food…a warm bed, my bed.” He replied, his eyes growing dark with desire. His hand reaching for yours, his fingers brushing over the back of your hand.

“I hope that includes you inside then.” You replied, your pulse wild, warmth spreading from your lower belly down to between your legs. His answer was a giggle and a boyish smile, he was extremely happy with your words, seems like you were indeed a big crush for him. You were glad to think the same, now dreaming of that prince being yours, your body covered in jewels as you walked by his arm, watching him rule the biggest empire in the world. The both of you were so caught in your drunk state, dreaming; you had forgotten the world around you, the gazes and chatter of people.

Commodus stood up, offering you his hand, which you accepted. He wanted to lead you through the main entrance of the cantina, proud of himself to have gotten a lady for himself but a little voice in your head seemed to have some reason. Your little adventure could stop very shortly if his father caught you. So, you pulled him back before he could cross the entrance, making him slightly lose his balance and catching himself up in your arms.

“What?” he laughed, his hands caressing your waist, leaning forward to capture your lips for a kiss.

“I know another way…much more fun.” You replied close to his lips but not kissing, his drunkenness made that he couldn’t listen and do something else at the same time.

“Lead the way love…” he breathed excitedly and following you through the tent, then the kitchen area, here was a smaller exit for the servants and cooks. The fresh wind hit your face as you made it outside, the both of you were still mostly hidden as this exit was surrounded by barrels of posca, crates of cured meats and fruits.

You gasped as you felt arms wrap around your waist “Got you…” breathed Commodus against your ear, smiling. You felt goosebumps grow all over your skin, your arousal too. His warm breath was tickling your skin, his scent intoxicating, he smelled so good…you wanted to taste wine on his tongue.

“You know what? Fuck it…!” you exclaimed, turning around and grabbing his face for a strong kiss. He gasped against your lips, his back crashing against crates as he pressed you against him. You closed your eyes, opening your mouth to let his tongue in; that posca tasted so much better on him, his tongue so soft against yours. He moaned as your hand went to his neck, caressing his skin, discovering his sensitive points. By the Gods, you wanted to discover them all, find out what made him ache, beg you for more, the prince begging a slave for more, what a sweet idea.

“Y/N..” he breathed, his hands caressing your lower back and down to your butt, squeezing it between his hands “I want you.” He said with a smile, giggling, so glad to be able to say it aloud. You shared his amusement, filling his lips with more sensual kisses.

“I’m all yours Commodus…” you breathed against his lips, taking his hand and guiding it to your breast, exhaling and biting your lower lip, loving it as his hand groped it. He looked at your breast hungrily to the point he ended up burying his head between your tits, kissing your chest while softly moaning, inhaling your scent, enjoying that body that begged him to be taken.

Your own hand traveled down his belly; those damn imperial clothes were hard to undo. But you found your way under his tunic, pressing against his braccae, a Celtic pants the romans had adopted.  You licked his lips as you felt his erection “I like what I feel…is this for me?” you flirted playfully.

“Ah…all…only for you my lady…” he panted, letting out soft moans as you stroke him slowly above his pants.

“My lady? I like this!” the both of you laughed between kisses, caressing each other’s parts, discovering the other’s body. Your moans were thankfully concealed by the chatter inside the tent, you could let it out freely. Your legs quivering as he inserted his fingers inside you, then out, sliding along your slit.

“You are so wet for me…I am so honored...” he breathed, retracting his fingers and bringing it to his mouth, tasting you, closing his eyes as he did so. You were amazed, he was the opposite of romans as you knew them, he cared about female pleasure and didn’t find it repulsive.

“Then get inside me Commodus…please.” You breathed excitedly, turning around and bending over a barrel, lifting your dress to expose your backside. The prince glanced at your body; never he had such an exquisite view, he could see it all, your round ass, your glistening pussy desperately waiting for him. He bit his lower lip, caressing your ass, squeezing it between his hands. But then he glanced at you, he couldn’t see your face and that he didn’t like. He suddenly got taken by total romantism, he was a romantic, but the society saw that badly for a man, even more with a woman of a lower status.

“Not like this Y/N. Turn around.” He asked tenderly, grabbing your waist to help you since your balance was lacking “I want to look at you. See you as I give you pleasure.” He breathed, kissing you again, your kisses wet, getting terribly needy. He was the first to want you that way, it made you fall even harder for him.

You nodded against his lips and gasped when he grabbed you by the back of your thighs lifting you up “Commodus what are y-…!” you exclaimed as he lost balance, and the both of you fell on the ground, Commodus hitting his head against a crate but he was actually so drunk he didn’t feel any of it, laughing loudly. “Ouch.” He giggled as he pinched your butt.

“You…!” You wanted to protest to his unconscious actions, but you were distracted by the prince, parting your thighs, grinning. The rascal hadn’t lost his objective. You smiled and grabbed him by the shirt, pulling him for a messy kiss as he penetrated you. Your moan was muffled against his lips, your legs parting even more for him, your hands gripping his tunic.

What followed as a messy, rough and clumsy lovemaking. Both you and Commodus were letting out noises without restraint, to the point that this time your activity could be noticed.

“Commodus!” You loudly called his name, your breast bouncing under his hard thrusts, encouraging him to go harder inside you, not noticing that the cantina had gone quite, perhaps listening. Your thighs were bruising by how much he was gripping you, his clothes screwed, his hair ruffled and lips swollen red by how much you kissed. His thrusts were fast and strong at first but the both of you were quickly breathless, alcohol making you last less. Naturally you reached climax quickly, your legs shaking, you back arching as you felt his warm seed spill inside you. Soon, Commodus slowed down, his kisses becoming sloppier until he stopped, slowly collapsing on you, his head buried in your neck, snuggling into your embrace as you hugged him, breathless.

“I can’t wait til we do more…I want to do more Y/N…” he breathed, his voice tired, he was surely growing sleepy.

“Me too…please Commodus, don’t leave me now that you have me.” You murmured, kissing his damp hair.

“I won’t.” he mumbled sleepily. Your eyelids were heavy too, you wanted to sleep there…in his arms, safe.

“Commodus…he is going to know...he is going to find us…” the alcohol was slightly going away from your body, making you anxious. If you were seen like this, you would be treated as a whore, thrown to soldiers, or sentenced to death for making a fool of Commodus who exposed himself publicly like a drunk commoner, fucking under the nose of all. Ridicule, worthless to the eyes of his father.

“Let him find us. Won’t let him do a thing. I am his only heir, he will comply.” He groaned and with difficulty tried to stand up “But first, let’s go to my tent, you deserve a good rest in my bed. With me.” He said, his eyes were still cloudy and his balance uncertain as he extended his hand to you.

Thank you for reading and please don't hesistate to leave a comment, it makes me really happy <3

tag list: @skaravile @lyoongx @weirdflecksbutok @charlie-sisters @stardancerluv @sgtsavoytruffle @ohcarlesmycarles @rajacero @niniitah-ah @morrisonmercurryphoenix @fly-like-a-phoenix @thatdummy-girl​r @galos-writing @pstvchld @chiclunatic @hopelessdisasterr @buttergirlie​ @rosebloodstuffandthangss​ @clowndaddyfleck​ @jaylovesbats @dreamingmaria​ @just-a-fucking-comedy​ @lady-carnivals-stuff​ @sierraclegane​​ @lemondedeniname​​ @hvproductions​​ @syvellsworld​​ @papercut-paranoia​​ @jokerflecker​​ ​ @bring-your-holy-water @five-miles-over​ @beatlebabe1996​ @kfanniart @soulsfrostedheart18 @mayflower-gal @creativestorylove

[brummiereader]

Hi everyone I'm back with another series! This is going to be a Dark!Tommy series, that some readers may find triggering, so I really wanted to give you all a warning beforehand. Overtime the following potential triggers will become more apparent...manipulative behaviour, psychological mind games, toxic relationship, controlling behaviour, violence, and psychological abuse.

Killing Me Softly (PART ONE/ DARK!TOMMY)

Summary: Reader is arranged to marry the notorious gangster of Small Heath Tommy Shelby. Going into the marriage with an open heart she soon realises he is not the man she once knew. How long will she be able to endure his cruel games?

Warnings: Angst, fluff, violence, language, psychological mind games, manipulative behaviour, Dark!Tommy (This is a dark series, please read the warnings before continuing)

Writers note: Inspired by this ominous version of the song "Killing me Softly" by Aretha Franklin. Just to note, we follow off from the intro later on in the series.

"Y/N Ohh Y/N...come on love, I'm not gonna hurt you" He said taunting you, as you heard him open each door along the dimly lit hallway on the second floor of your home Arrow House. His heavy foot steps walked slowly along the wooden floorboards as he checked each room looking, searching...for you.

Hiding under the bottom shelf of a small closet room, you made yourself as small as you could possibly get. Shaking, tears streaming down your face you brought your knees up to your chest clutching yourself, hoping and praying he wouldn't find you.

"Come out come out wherever you are, I'll count to ten you can't be far.

Under the bed, behind a door, was that a creak I heard on the floor?

I'll shout and call out your name, but you'll keep quiet, it's part of the game.

Come out come out wherever you are, I'll count to ten you can't be far...Ohh Y/N..."

Snapping your head up, you listened to the nursery rhyme as it echoed loudly through the corridor. Once an innocent song you used to sing as a child whilst playing hide-and-seek, now a menacing taunt filled with unspoken threats. All of a sudden his cruel singing came to a stop. Hearing the creaking floorboards just outside the door, your eyes widened in terror.

" You know I'll win...i always did" you heard him say in a deep menacing voice as you covered your mouth trying to silence your heavy breathing. You watched intently as his dark shadow moved underneath the door, with your whole body trembling, you bit down on your bottom lip, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to escape. Putting your hand to your chest you breathed a silent sigh of relief as you heard his intimidating footsteps move on.

"I don't like to be teased sweetheart!" he said loudly, annoyed, as he slammed a door shut in frustration. Jolting at the sudden noise your foot slid against the floor hitting the wall in front you. Shit. Silence filled the house, the noise of his footsteps absent from your ears. Taking your hand away from your mouth, you reached out to bring your knee back into your chest, only to gasp in fear as you heard one single creak of the floorboards just outside the closet door.

"Peekaboo..." he said tilting his head as he opened the door, a sinister smile spread across his face, a bloodied knife in his hand.

"Come on now, darling" he said as he dragged you kicking and screaming out the small dark room by your night dress.

" Tommy please, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, wait...wait!"

One Month Before...

An arranged marriage. If anyone would have told you this is what you had agreed to this time last year, you would have laughed in their face at their preposterous suggestion. But yet here you was, two weeks away from marrying your childhood friends brother, Tommy Shelby. You had spent most of your early life at the Shelby's house, you being close friends with Ada, you would see Tommy almost every day. Maybe that's why you had agreed to the proposition so willingly, you knew Tommy, you grew up with him, a small affection grew over the years for him, and you trusted him, or at least...you thought you did. It was a cascade of events over many years that had led up to the day when Tommy's Aunt, Polly Gray, proposed the arrangement. Your father dying in combat was the start of everything that eventually went wrong, then when your mother moved you both to London to escape the constant reminders of your late father, her health started to deteriorate. The grief of losing him had taken a tremendous toll on your mother's body, unable to work anymore, and with only a war widows pension, you had to take on extra hours working in a press factory as your mother stayed home, you were barely getting by. Now you found yourselves back in Small Heath, back home, back in search for easier times. Hearing of your mother's ill health and your struggle to find employment, Polly Gray a friend of the family, re-entered you lives, offering you help when no one else would.

The proposition Polly made at first, was not one of marriage, but one of employment, you was to work in the Shelby Company Limited offices as a secretary, but when Tommy caught wind of his Aunt's plans and the knowledge of your return to Small Heath, with no need of another secretary he proposed a different arrangement, one of marriage. A wife in return for the financial support of your mother and the help she so desperately needed, that was the offer Polly came to you with that late spring day, the day your whole life changed.

Arranged marriages were not unheard of in the 1920s, and Tommy being a man who had so little time to find a wife, found himself needing one. He didn't particularly want one, but he needed one if he was ever going to rub shoulders with the people he wanted to do business with. With a wife by his side, he would be able to portray himself as a stable family man, an image he needed to paint to finally be taken seriously by the circle of people he wanted to be acquainted with, or at least, that's what he told everyone. You had very little family left, most of them having died in the war or from illness, your mother was the only immediate family you had. With no other options, your mother's health worsening, and no money to pay for the doctors she so badly needed, you had willingly agreed to the arrangement without much hesitation. An almost transactional agreement, but one you entered into with an open mind and heart, naively thinking that this arrangement would eventually turn into a loving marriage... how wrong you would be.

"I'm ready" you said as you straightened out your white summer dress.

" You look beautiful darling" your mother replied as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

" I'm sorry I can't come with you" your mother said as she handed you your small black purse.

"It's ok, you're not feeling well, get some rest ok?" You said as you kissed her cheek. Saying goodbye you opened the front door and walked out onto the busy streets of Small Heath. It was summer and surprisingly a beautiful day in the small Birmingham town. The sun breaking through the thick smoke of the factory chimneys, beamed down on your skin as you walked the ten minute journey to Watery Lane. Your thoughts turning in your head, you started to doubt your decision. What if he doesn't like me ? What if this doesn't work out? Does he even remember me? It was so long ago, you couldn't even remember what he looked like. Walking across to the next street you was now on Watery Lane. Standing in front of the door you straightened out your posture as you painted on a smile, before you could even knock, the door flew open.

"Are you Tommy's wife?" A small boy with a peaked cap and muddy knees said, as he opened the door.

"Not yet she's not" Polly said moving the boy out the way as she ushered you in, planting a kiss to your cheek.

" Polly" you said hugging her, smiling as she welcomed you into the house.

" Come sit down dear" she said as she pulled out a chair for you at the round table in the middle of the room.

" Hello you" you heard a voice say from behind you.

"Ada!" You said turning around, as she bent down to give you a hug.

" Look at you!" she said smiling to you, as she brushed your hair away from your shoulder " You're a beauty Y/N, Polly isn't she just beautiful?" She said turning to her Aunt.

" That she is, Tommy's one lucky man" she replied smiling to you with a wink. Sitting down in front of you, she poured you each a glass of whiskey.

" Bit of Dutch courage" she said handing you the glass, which your gratefully took, downing it in one go.

" Steady on!" Ada giggled covering her mouth, "You're not marrying the Devil himself" she laughed once again.

" Nervous?" Polly asked, as she looked at your anxious face, reaching out for your hand.

" A little...Polly what if this doesn't wor..." you said only to be interrupted by the small boy from before.

"Tommy's here!" He shouted as he ran through the kitchen knocking over one of the wooden chairs.

" Finn out!" Polly demanded, pointing to the stairs as he stomped up them, his arms folded, a grumpy thrown forming on his face.

" Ello ello" Arthur announced as he entered the room, John not far behind him.

"There she is" he said reaching out to hug you. " You've grown" he said motioning up and down your body with his hand, his eyes stopping at your chest as he cleared his throat.

" Move over you old perv" John said with a big smile, his arms stretched out to hug you.

"John" you said, hugging him tightly. Being closer in age, you and John had always gotten along, he was like a brother to you, often the first to come to you if you ever needed help. Turning his head around, John moved out the way as Tommy walked into the room. Taking his peaked cap off, his eyes immediately scanned the room, looking for you.

"Y/N" he said walking towards you, giving you a small kiss to the cheek, his hand resting on your hip. Now a young woman, Tommy was taken aback by your beauty.

"Tommy" you said nervously as your breath hitched in your throat. The boy you remembered was gone, instead a grown man stood before you, a face aged by war, a presence that demanded respect, he walked into the room with authority and power, and you couldn't help but look away from his intimidating statue. Smiling to you, trying to ease the tension, Tommy gently placed his hand on your back, gesturing for you to sit down as he sat down in the empty chair beside you. With everyone now around the table you talked about your time in London, everything but the impending wedding, that was until Arthur brought it up.

" You'll be a Shelby in a few weeks" he said winking to you, as he took a sip of whiskey.

" Think you can handle our Tom, Y/N?" John interjected, chuckling.

" Yeh, I think I can handle him " you said laughing, trying to make light of the situation as you turned to see Tommy eyeing you from head to toe, his mouth slightly open as his eyes then landed on yours.

"Good luck to you Y/N, Tommy's not the easiest to get along with, are you Tom?" John chuckled as he put his elbows on the table, leaning in closer to you.

"Shut up John" Tommy said, clearly bothered by his teasing. Shifting in your seat, you looked down nervously at your hands.

"Tom's just a bit hot headed sometimes Y/N" Arthur said as he poured himself another whiskey ." Anyway, things will go just fine for you two, Tom here, used to have a little crush on..."

"Right, you all done, hm?" Tommy said interrupting, looking at each of his brothers, his brows raised in annoyance, as both of them put their hands up in defence, unable to hold back their laughs.

" Come on, let's leave them to it" Polly said as she ushered everyone out the small kitchen. With just you and Tommy now alone, a small silence filled the room as he lit a cigarette.

" What are siblings for if they don't give you a hard time" you said smiling to him, breaking the silence.

"You're not gonna give me a hard time are you?" He said turning to you, mischief playing in his eyes.

" No. No..." you said slightly flustered.

"But you think you can handle me, eh?

" I didn't mean it like that" you said turning to him, his eyes catching yours as you started to regret your choice of words.

" I know" he nodded chuckling " I'm only teasing Y/N" he said clearing his throat.

"I need to know for sure though, I need to hear you say it, do you want this?" He said shifting closer to you, his eyes never moving from yours.

" I want this Tommy" you said as confidently as you could. "Do you?"

" I wouldn't have suggested it if I didn't" he said staring at you, his eyes piercing into you. "Look, i know it's not the typical start to a marriage, but we know eachother, we can trust eachother, right?" he said as he reached for your hand, his thumb caressing you in reassurance.

" We can trust eachother" you nodded, comforted by his gentle touch " You know, coming here today, i didn't think you would remember me" you said as you traced your finger around the rim of your empty glass.

" Oh I remember you. You were here all the time, running around playing hide-and-seek. And if I remember correctly, you were never very good at it" he said a smile on his lips as his eyes darted between yours and your fingers grazing along the glass.

"Well, you never did count to ten" you joked as a laugh escaped Tommy's mouth.

"I wasn't very patient" he admitted, taking a drag of his cigarette his eyes glistening, as a cocky grin formed on his face

" God, we must have annoyed Polly so much sometimes"

" We were just kids" he said shrugging his shoulders, as he poured you both another glass of whiskey.

" Not anymore" you replied, as he handed you your drink, his fingers brushing over yours.

" No, not anymore" he echoed quietly, taking a sip of his whiskey, as he looked over your body in the corner of his eye, clenching his jaw.

" I got you something" he said clearing his throat. Reaching into his suit pocket, Tommy pulled out a small box with a red ribbon neatly fastened around it. Putting it on the table he slowly pushed it towards you.

" Tommy you didn't have to do that"

" It's a wedding gift, I want you to wear it on the day" He said stubbing his cigarette out, as he watched your slender fingers gently untie the ribbon.

" Oh my god...Tommy" you said smiling as you took out a small diamond encrusted bracelet. "It's beautiful" you said as you turned the bracelet around, only to furrow your brows as you looked at his and your initials engraved with a date on the back.

"Tommy I think the Jeweler made a mistake, the date's wrong?

"It's not wrong Y/N, I'm bringing the wedding forward, to next Saturday" Tommy said as he opened his cigarette holder, pulling out another.

" What...forward?" You questioned confused by the unexpected change of plans.

" You don't have a problem with that, do you?" He questioned as he exhaled a cloud of smoke up to the ceiling, rubbing the cigarette between his thumb and forefinger.

" No, it's just...everything's been planned for two weeks time, why did you change the dates?"

" I don't want to wait Y/N" he said, tapping the ash from the cigarette into the glass tray as he turned to face you, his brows raised in surprise at your questions. " You sure you want to marry me, eh? He said cocking an eyebrow, a smirk on his lips.

"I do Tommy, it's just.." you said, still confused by the the sudden urgency. "..next week it is then" you replied, giving in, not knowing what else to say. Smiling to you, Tommy sat forward taking your hand as he clasped the bracelet around your small wrist.

"You like it then?" He asked his eyes looking up at you through his thick lashes.

"I love it" you said reaching your arms out, wrapping them around him. Hugging you back, Tommy's hand moved up to the back of your neck, his cheek pressing into your hair as he breathed in your perfume.

" You'll never want for anything Y/N, I'll make sure of that" he said as he let go. " And your mother, she will be looked after" he confirmed, as you looked up, meeting his eyes.

" Thank you, Tommy" you said as you placed your hand into his, his other hand reaching up, softly stroking your cheek with his thumb.

" We'll make it work, yeh?" he nodded to you.

" We will" you said shyly as you looked down at the bracelet on your wrist.

" Good. My brothers are right though, I can be a difficult man at times, stubborn set in my ways. But I'll look after you" he said as you nodded to him, his thumb still on your cheek as his fore finger grazed down cupping your chin "And in return I'll have a good, obedient wife" he added, eyes narrowing, his forehead raised, his grip subtly tightening as he waited for your reaction. Your eyes darted away nervously only to quickly come back to his intense glare.

"I'll be a good wife Tommy" you said, a small unsure laugh leaving your lips at his odd choice of words.

" Good" he said letting go of your cheek, his face finally relaxing, as he leaned back into his chair.

" You know Y/N, I think this might just work out for us"

NEXT PART

Tag list: @litteltourtius @aesthetic0cherryblossom

[fashionteahouse]

hey ! i'd love a paul lahote x reader but based on the song 'but daddy I love him' by taylor swift :) no worries of not!

heyy! no problem 💜 hope you enjoy :)

but daddy i love him - paul x reader

Seeing him with his friends made you want to look at him. His eyes shift to you and you quickly look away. Paul Lahote wouldn’t deal with someone like you. The girls he got with were like society’s rejects. You focus back in on the words that came out of your friend’s mouth.

Tapping the same tune of the piano in front you, you feel a buzz from your phone. While the teacher is away, you read the message.

“Me and some friends are going out. Are you coming?”

Leah, your family friend, texted you.

“I’m at piano practice right now. I doubt they will let me go.”

You tell Leah this, knowing that your parents won’t let you go out with people that they haven’t met their parents.

“Just tell them you’re sleeping over my house.”

You debate.

“Leah Clearwater?” your mother says during dinner.

“Yes.” you say as you take the fork to your lips.

“You’re going to call when you get there right? I also want to speak to her mother, Sue. I know her well.”

“Yes.” you say, a bit annoyed they’re still treating you small.

Dropping you off, you gun straight for Leah’s room. “So where are you going out to?” you say sitting in a chair in her bedroom. She turns from the mirror of putting her necklace on, pulling you up.

“We are going to my boyfriend’s birthday party.”

“What if my parents call?” you say worriedly.

“If they get suspicious we will move to the next room and I will speak to them.”

“Okay but they want to speak to your mom.”

Leah tells you to call them now. Sue confirms that you’re there. Without any more excuses, she changes you out of the boring clothes that she claims that you were wearing.

Sweat began to smother your palms as you heard the muffled music. Walking in, it was a lot of people that you didn’t know. Leah links her arm with you and smiles to you, “Don’t be nervous. Just have fun. Stick with me.” You nod in agreement.

Leah and her partner embrace and she introduces you both. You wave a friendly wave. Walking to his crowd of friends, you notice Paul again. You’re nervous as you move closer.

“Want to dance?” he asks you and you almost jump.

“I don’t know how to.” you say stuttering out and nervously chuckle.

“Want me to teach you?” he asks again. You don’t know when’s the next time this once in a lifetime moment will happen so you nod.

He keeps his hands on your waist and hips. Whispering to you to feel the music. Soon, your hips move on their own. You’re now not nervous about the closeness of him to you. He gives you his number. You just couldn’t believe it. Leah laughs as you both lay in her bed that night. “Mommy and Daddy would not approve.”

“I don’t know. He seems nice.” you say as your fingers dance with a loose piece of fabric on her blanket.

On the phone, butterflies fluttered and danced in your stomach. His soothing and relaxing voice leaked into your dreams. You seen him be rude and cruel to others but you felt like you were his favorite person. Only showing his softness to you.

You got Leah to cover you in order to go on your first date.

“Playing with fire.” she says, knowing the outcome of the result. She fixed your hair.

“It’s harmless.” you say to her.

The kisses began after the date, only to never end there. Without your knowledge, people who knew your parents, warned them without a second thought. Afraid you would succumb to the boy’s delinquent behavior. They didn’t want Paul to taint you.

“You are to never see him again.” your father scolds at you. Your mother looks at you with disappointment.

“Why not? He’s not doing anything to anyone.” you cried, it felt like they stomped on your heart over a thousand times.

“He’s a bad influence! See him again, you’re grounded until this year is out.” he says and ends it with that.

That didn’t stop answering his phone calls. They said you cant see him again. Not talk to him again.

On your way home, he stops you, “You’re good at math right?” You nod.

You both “studied”, but not for long. You soon found out he pretended to not know the answers but you didn’t care. The kisses were hot and heavy. His feel ups felt good. Carefully and slowly, he took your virginity.

“Where have you been?!” your father pressed on. You lost total track of time. You opened your mouth but he cuts you off, “And you better not say Leah because she doesn’t know where you are.”

“I was..out..I needed to clear my head so I walked around for some time.” you say to him a small voice.

“If I find out that you were with that Lahote kid, we’re taking it into me and your mother’s hands.” he says to you.

“We’re just two people in love right?” Paul says to you on the phone after you vent to him about what your father said.

“You..Love me?” you ask him.

“Yes. You love me right?” he asked on the other end of the line.

“Of course I do.” you reply.

Parents gone and out for a charity event, you fake sick. Paul sneaks over. You two finally embrace. Things are sweet. Things turn sour as your bedroom door swings open, revealing your angry father.

Half out on clothes, you and Paul both run onto the lawn with a furious father trailing behind.

“You better stay away from my daughter.”

“But daddy, I love him!” you cry out.

“Y/N, you’re not seeing him again! What ever this is, it’s over.”

“No! I’m having his baby and we’re going to be together.”

His face contorts to the most angriest face he could muster up. Your mother clutches onto her pearls with a shocked face.

“I’m just kidding. You should’ve seen both your faces.” you say trying to bring light to the situation.

“This is no kidding matter.”

“I’m not as bad as what people think about me. Y/N, brought out the best in me.” he says smiling down at you, interlacing your fingers with his.

Your mother joins from the doorway to the lawn, placing a hand on your father’s arm.

“I think we should get to know the boy a bit better.” she tries to persuade. Your dad looks down at you and Paul.

With his actions matching his words, Paul learned to not let your father be witness to his hotheaded ways. A quote from your father stuck with him, “You hurt her, I hurt you.” He couldn’t imagine a scenario where he could or would hurt you. The thought of it was just blasphemy to him.

[silvervioletvalentine]

‘I know I've got a big ego, I really don't know why it's such a big deal, though!’

Pairing : Lewis Hamilton X FemOC Candy!

Summary- in which she’s a spoilt , Primadonna girl and Lewis will do anything to get her to be his girl.

Candy didn’t know when this whole thing had started, what it was about her that had him so hooked and so obsessed with the idea of getting her to become his girl , to let him be her man.

She had done everything she could to deter him , she turned up to a high class bitchiness level that she had never even reached before . More cunty and more cruel than her friends could believe , getting great amusement out of putting one of the hottest , arrogant men down a few pegs every time she seen his pretty face .

But sometimes he got beneath her skin and wormed his over the top affections , his poetic words and endless promises of the a luxurious life he could give her.

Candy was certain that he would give her his kidney If she so much as hinted at wanting it, his promise of never ending supply of love and gifts never did fade .

Even when she thought that maybe , just maybe he had finally grown sick of chasing after her like a dog after his favourite ball.

It had been quite for the last three weeks , far more quite than she had grown accustomed to over the last year of knowing Lewis.

It unsettled her , a weird ache settling between her chest as she contemplated the fact that maybe he really had grown bored with her silly games , of her constant mean rejections and petty excuses to deny his affections time and time again.

And candy thought that she would be fine with this , that it wouldn’t bother her when things came to a still end like they always did with men’s attention waned on her after time had passed .

But instead of the indifference that she expected to feel , she just felt like a hole had been run right through her .

A frown settling over her pretty face the last few weeks when she realised that Lewis really wasn’t reaching out anymore . He usually never went a couple days or more without some type of communication .

It bad her rattled and she didn’t like it at all.

So she picked up her phone and dialled his number before she could find the reason in her brain telling her not to .

She was almost surprised when after only a couple of rings , he actually picked up. But she was too annoyed and too keyed up to even think of why he sounded so amused when he sang a pleased hello.

She cut straight through him without even wasting a single breath .

“Have you been in a terrible accident ? Have you lost your legs? Your voice? Have you sudden developed amnesia and forgotten who I am?” She bit out at him , offended by his lack of attention these past three weeks.

Despite the way that the last time she had seen him, she had told him to shove his designer gifts for her where the sun didn’t shine and to leave her the fuck alone.

To be fair , she had been on her period . Pissed off from the constant pain and moody from her suffering . And secondly , she hasn’t expected him to actually leave her the fuck alone.

This wasn’t how their game went at all. He should have been here with some pretty , sparkly things while telling her how much he had missed her.

What the hell was he playing at , ignoring her like this?

“Missed me sweetheart? I thought you didn’t want to see me? Changed your mind again?” He teased her , a giddy tone in his phone at the thought of her missing him so much.

It had been torture for him not to be Constantly on her ass and around her like he usually was , but he had just wanted to see what would happen if he really did follow through with her demands to fuck right off.

Half expecting Her to never reach out again, he was pleasantly surprised to hear her furious voice shouting at him again. It made his body relax and a smug grin settle on his face .

Candy let out a infuriated noise “no I didn’t! I was actually - I was actually just calling to let you know that I’ve moved on! adiós to you!” She shrilled.

Picking up her fluffy cat and hugging him to her chest with her free arm for comfort , the same rag doll that Lewis had gotten her for simply looking pretty this summer.

Lewis let out a chuckle , knowing her like his favourite well read book.

“Oh yeah? And who’s the lucky guys name? Anyone I know?” He played along. Putting his phone on speaker as he drove along the familiar road to her home .

Candy scowled to herself , angrily pacing her room at how amused he sounded . Her eyes traced the framed pictures on her wall, landing on one from her favourite band .

She blinked .

“No you don’t know him. His name is - his name is axl. The hottest man I’ve ever seen, we’re in love.” She blurted out wanting to make him as upset as he had made her these last few weeks of ignoring her .

Lewis was clearly grinning , she could hear his smug , beautiful grin through the damn phone .

“Cool name . Well If you’re happy…” he trailed off .

Candy was officially enraged “you don’t care?!” She almost screamed angrily. Tears filling her eyes .

His voice was careful as he replied smugly “do you want me to care sweetheart?”

She paused , sniffled then huffed loudly . “No. I don’t care if you don’t care!”

Lewis grinned to himself “okay cool. So just to be clear , you’ve moved on with some guy named Axl and you don’t care that I don’t care?” He teased.

Candy put down her poor cat and threw herself down onto the couch with a scowl on her face , wrapped herself in a blanket and tried not to cry.

“Correct.” Was all she hiccuped “well then- I’m glad we’ve cleared this up asshole. Thanks for not caring!” She made sure to get the last word in before she angrily hung up the phone .

Then she screamed into her pillow .

Only Abruptly pausing her long scream halfway when a loud knock echoed on her door.

She quickly straightened up and threw on Lewis’s hoodie that he had left last time he was here annoying her . Stomping to the door with the sourness of someone who felt like she has been dumped even though she wasn’t even in a relationship to start with.

What was her life?

She threw open the door ready to grab whatever parcel was being delivered , then froze as she came face to face with a grinning Lewis at her door.

Dressed in a beautiful dark red tracksuit set , skin glowing and hair braided back perfectly . Candy suddenly felt self conscious as she became acutely aware of her messy bed hair and mascara rimmed eyes , dressed in nothing but pj shorts and his hoodie .

“Hey baby.” He simply said after a few seconds of her gaping at him with wide eyes. Then he casually shuffled past her body, his band grazing her hip gently as he stepped into her apartment like it was his own.

It took her a few moments to gather her bearings before she was slamming the door shut and turning to him with a mean glower on her face . Heart racing in her chest at his sudden arrival.

“What are you doing here?!” She exclaimed shocked , and annoyingly relieved that he was finally there with her .

She kicked his foot , hard. Angry with him.

Lewis just smiled , leaned forward to gently run his fingers through her hair affectionately.

“Came to see you and your new boyfriend Axl.” His eyes darted to her picture of Axl rose on her wall as he said it.

Candy swallowed leaning into his touch for a moment before coming to her senses and batting his hand away.

“You just missed him.” She lied.

Lewis chuckled , amused ? knowing that she was lying and knowing that she knew that he knew that she was lying too.

“How convenient.” Was all he replied before taking a seat at the end of her couch, sitting on the arm of it . He looked up at her with his smile softening into something more warm and lovely .

“I’ve missed you. You look as beautiful as ever.” He told her softly , taking a hold of the hem of her shorts to tug her closer between his legs .

She let him. Cheeks flushing lightly as she gazed into his warm eyes , feeling her body turned to mush.

“Really?” She wondered then looked around him with a slight frown “where’s my gift?”

Lewis let out a loud laugh at how spoilt she was, though he supposed it was partly his fault. He never did arrive without a gift for his sweetheart after all.

“Don’t I get a hug first? I know you missed me.” He teased her, trailing his hand up to her waist and gently rubbing her soft skin beneath his hoodie .

She let her arms rest over his broad shoulders , pouting down at him.

“You said you didn’t care that I moved on.” She mumbled annoyed with him still.

He chuckled , hugging her to him . Resting his chin on her stomach as he peered up at her beneath his dark lashes .

“What? Moved on with Axl rose your imaginary boyfriend? Don’t be silly baby. You know I’m the only one for you.” He told her softly , smiling up at her with affection written all over his beautiful face.

Candy frowned down at him , playing with the diamond stud in his ear .

“I don’t like you.” She reminded him just out of habit by now.

Instead of getting upset , he just giggled at her stubbornness to Admit what he already knew. “Then why were you upset that I didn’t care?”

“I wasn’t upset and I don’t care that you don’t care Lewis. I just think it was mean to abandon me like that for three weeks . I thought you were dead.” She dramatically snapped .

She had watched him at his races . She knew that he was perfectly fine. Which only upset her more because then what other excuse did he have for ignoring her like that then?

Death was the only reasonable excuse to do that!

He rose a brow at her , lifting her hoody to look at the sparkly diamond H belly stud that she had on. The same one he had given her last time he saw her.

He bent down his head and gently kissed it, smirking to himself as he felt her whole body shiver against his lips.

“Don’t like me ignoring you? Now you know how I feel. Isn’t nice is it?” He mumbled against another soft kiss on her belly . Only pulling away when she slapped his forehead not so gently .

He looked up to see her glaring down at him, furious.

“I do not ignore you like that!” She denied.

He rolled his eyes “you told me to go fuck myself the last time I was here. Then refused to pick up my calls the rest of the week.” He reminded her.

She just scoffed “I was upset! I was bleeding from my vagina Lewis! Not everything is about you! I wasn’t in the mood for your games!” She argued.

He paused, then tilted his head with a slight frown. “You could have just told me that. I would have gotten you a heating pad and some chocolate. You didn’t have to be so mean baby.” He said.

She just sniffled at him , gently rubbing at the back of his neck with her fingers absentmindedly. “I’m not mean.”

The look he gave her was full of disbelief “no? Then why aren’t you my girl then?” His question had her stumped.

She spluttered for answer , blinking rapidly . “Well- cause I’m not impressed.” She answered him shortly.

He barked out a laugh “no?” He grinned looking up at her with eyes full of amusement .

“The jewellery and the clothes weren’t enough? The cat , the paid of loans and your car? Still not impressive enough?” He listed off all of the things he had gotten her this past year . Growing more amused by the second as he watched her stubbornly shake her head at him.

“Nope.” She muttered arrogantly .

“Then what would it take for you to be my girl?” He wanted to know.

She searched her mind for something “a mansion like yours. With a king size bed. And - and your Ferrari.” She said the most ridiculous thing she could think of. Something he couldn’t give her.

His eyes searched her face for a long moment before simply humming . “Will you stay at mine tonight with me? Roscoe misses you.” He said already getting to his feet .

He grabbed her phone and keys from the table , not even waiting for an answer before heading to her door. Knowing she would follow him.

She did .

“What will we do? I don’t want to bored all night.” She huffed as she followed him out.

Letting him lock her door, absentmindedly grabbing his hand as he lead her down her apartment stairs . Missing the way he smiled down at her , shaking his head fondly .

They were almost to the car when he finally responded , making her skin flush red and knees weaken as he bluntly told her

“I’m going to fuck you so hard till you know no other name than mine . Then I’m going to eat you out for however long it takes for you to realise that there’s no one better for you than me baby.” He kissed the side of her head before pushing her down into the passenger seat casually .

Candy just blinked up at him in shock , face red and belly fluttering . “Oh. Okay.” She weakly spluttered in response .

Lewis just smirked and flicked her chin lightly before closing the door shut, jogging around to the drivers side quickly .

And Lewis never broke his promises. And by the time the stars were twinkling bright , his name was all she could scream .

When candy woke up the next morning , it was to the sound of Lewis ‘awwing’ loudly at something .

She grumbled to herself as she pushed herself out of his bed , blushing at the fact that she was wearing nothing but his shirt .

Lewis having put It on her while she exhaustedly let him look after her and tuck her into his chest , kissing her head gently as she drifted off to sleep.

Yawning loudly , she stomped her way down the fancy stairs of his home . Grumpy from being woken up .

“What the hell are you awwing at you weirdo?” She called out to Lewis the moment she caught sight of him in the hallway.

He looked over at her with a bright smile on his face , beckoning her over for a hug. She immediately fell into his chest , still tired as she lazily hugged him back.

“Roscoe loves kitties . It’s so cute.” Lewis casually told her , stroking her hair away from her face as she tried to wake up properly.

“Huh?” She let out confusedly wondering why he looked so smug and amused . Then she turned her head and froze as she saw roscoe cuddled up with mr snuggles , her cat .

She blinked at her cat in Lewis’s home , with his dog. Wondering if she was still dreaming .

Then She glanced over to the front room and saw her Tiffany lamps and her cushions on his couch , glancing down at the carpet to see her heart shaped rug there too.

She gasped loudly in shock “what the fuck?!” She immediately turned back to Lewis with wide eyes, gaping at him.

“Why are my things In your house? Why is my kitty here? What the fuck?!” She shouted in absolute disbelief .

Lewis just smiled at her serenely , clearing pleased with himself . He leaned down to stroke her cat when he walked over to him purring , leaving Candy to just blink at him in disbelief .

“You said that the only way you would be with me is if you had a mansion with a king side bed and well…” he pointedly looked around his mansion and the king sized bed she had gotten out of . Grinning proudly at her as he did so.

“What’s mine is now yours baby. And also…” he dug his hand into his hoodie pocket and pulled out some keys .

He opened up her placed and gently placed them in her hand. “There’s my keys to my Ferrari that you wanted as well.” He said.

Candy felt like she was going to pass out .

Gaping at this insane man that was more than happy to give her everything he had. She felt her heart swell in her chest, briefly looking down at the Ferrari keys in her hand and all her things in his home .

She spluttered “but-what? I can’t just live with you! That’s insane!” Her hands were trembling

around the keys at his casual devotion to giving her whatever the hell she wanted .

Lewis just shrugged casually , walking over to her slowly like she was a spooked animal. And maybe she was , she sure felt like a deer in headlights then.

What the fuck was her life?

“Why not? I’m in love with you and I’m pretty sure you’re in love with me. I want you by my side , always. And what better way than living with you?” He simply explained like it was that easy. And maybe for him it was .

Candy just looked at him like he had grown a third head.

“That’s pretty arrogant to assume that I love you Lewis!” She snapped at him stubbornly . Blushing red. “What if I hated your guts? This would be real awkward for you!”

Lewis just laughed at her attitude “oh yeah? So the ‘please Lewis! Fuck me harder Lewis! Just like that baby! all that was because you hated me was it?” He smugly copied her high pitched voice screaming last night .

Making her quickly slap his bicep with a embarrassed gasp, face feeling like it was on fire.

“Lewis!” She shrieked while he just giggled harder

“shut up! I do not sound like that! How dare you?!”

Lewis rolled his eyes at her fondly “how dare me? How dare you! Why are you being so god damn stubborn? Why can’t you just admit that you love me? We could be married by now if you just stopped being so mean!” He exclaimed right back at her in exasperation.

But never angry, no, not with her. He loved her

Too damn much after all.

“I’m not mean! Fuck you!” She yelled back.

“You already did and will again after you just admit that I’m right!”

“Oh you’d like that wouldn’t you? Mr always right!” She sarcastically shouted back.

Lewis snorted a laugh “so you don’t want me then? Don’t want to live with me and drive my Ferrari?” He challenged her.

She paused , then fidgeted with the diamond tennis bracelet that Lewis had gotten for her , on her wrist .

“I didn’t - I didn’t say that-“

He grinned smugly “admit it then. Go on.” He gave her a nudge , utterly beaming by now .

Candy huffed like a child and rolled her eyes at him . “I just - are you serious?” She eyed him like he was playing some nasty , elaborate joke on her . Waiting for him to shout ‘gotchu girl!’.

Lewis squinted his eyes at her in disbelief “are you serious?” He returned the question to her in slight annoyance at her doubting him after everything .

“I’m obviously very serious baby , my god! Your cat is in my house and I just have you my Ferrari! What a weird, expensive joke that would be!” He exclaimed.

What a strange woman he was in love with he thought , so suspicious of him , Jesus!

Candy sniffed , clutched her diamond necklace on her neck (another gift from him) and slowly nodded her head.

“right . Well..” she uncomfortably cleared her throat , not one for being sappy or emotional over a man but damn , her heart was about to burst right now.

“Thanks babe.” She settled on lamely instead.

Lewis looked at her grimacing face then burst out into hysterical giggles . “You’re so welcome sweetheart. Come ‘ere” he tugged her over to him by her folded arm, grinning into her hair as he hugged her tightly to his chest .

His stubborn , spoilt girl.

Candy hugged him back without any hesitation, squeezing his waist tight . Sighing in content , she planted a gentle kiss on his chest .

“Lew?” She spoke up after another minute of just standing there cuddling in the front room while their pets stared at them like they were watching a entertaining show .

His smile was evident in his voice “yeah baby?”

She sighed in defeat , too happy to care about her pride anymore . “You’re so right by the way.” She admitted to him quietly .

He hummed smugly “yeah?”

She nodded with a huff “yeah.” She pulled away slightly to look into his eyes , he was so fucking beautiful it made her want to cry.

All mine. She almost growled , kissing his mouth just because she could . Lewis sighed against her lips happily

“Say it baby. Come on..” he whispered against her mouth , lips curling into a grin when she just sighed again.

“I love you. So much. And I missed you so don’t do that shit to me again. I’m not one to be ignored.” She told him sternly , pointing a nail into his chest.

He giggled and kissed her again “noted. Do not ignore my girl again.” He murmured then “and I love you too. You stubborn, mean girl.”

“Babe?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I have your Mercedes too? Just for Wednesdays?”

A pause , then “why Wednesday’s?” He asked amused.

She shrugged as she let him pull her down onto the couch to continue making out , side eyeing her blanket on his couch.

When the hell did he even do all this? She wondered? Still In disbelief that he had all her things moved into his home (their home now?) while she was asleep.

Was a sneaky little guy.

“Just to shake things up a little.” She replied simply.

Lewis didn’t even hesitate to agree.

Maybe she’d buy him a vegan waffle for dinner to repay him, she thought with a grin as she accepted his Mercedes car keys too.

She needed some new keychains , she thought mindlessly . Imagining the looks on her friends face when she rolled up in his Ferrari for their weekend brunches .

If this was a game , she had totally won. She thought to herself contently as she felt Lewis trail kisses down her neck.

A new mansion, two new cars and Lewis fucking hamilton as her man.

Oh yeah, she had totally won in life .