#the only explanation for his guilt in this case is that he was aware that what he was doing was not purposely for a good cause either

[aroacettorney]

ludger cherish in his past life was obviously a villain/anti-villain lover and nuance understander, considering the IDs of most of his pseudonyms were either a serial killer, an ethical gentleman thief, a genius mastermind with a good public reputation, or a criminal turned detective. so it would be really ironic if he truly believes that only the outcomes matter regardless of the good intentions or that there is no redemption path for criminals of any kind since that philosophy is much closer to copaganda than caseys belief in values of justice.

[ssentimentals]

crushing doubts {boo seungkwan}

pairing: seungkwan x gn!reader

prompt: 'you brought me flowers?' (this work is part of my 1k event, go check out other works of mine here)

warnings: generally none as it is fluff, but reader is very insecure and struggles with self-worth so please be mindful if these themes trigger you!

a loud laugh echoes in the hall and you freeze, unmistakenly recognizing source of this sound. only one person's laughter makes your heart do this stupid fluttery thing that reddens your cheeks and dries out your throat. it's seungkwan, of course. seungkwan is the you had crush on since the very first day of college and seungkwan is also happens to be the very same boy who told you that he likes you three days ago. he also is the boy who you've been steadily avoiding for the past three days. today should have been day number four of your avoidance, but universe obviously does not favor you that much; you knew your luck would run out sooner or later. looking around in source of escape, with growing horror you realize that there's really nowhere to go apart from turning back to your previous class and-

'-our professor almost had a heart attack! i kind of did feel bad though- oh.'

that oh makes you want to shrink up and disappear, but some things are not possible no matter how much you wish for them. you stand frozen on the spot, caught like a deer in highlights and although you're looking at the ground, you can feel seungkwan's eyes on you. don't come close, you beg for him in your mind. please, oh please, don't make a show, just act like i'm not here. it seems like universe does favor you still because seungkwan continues his speech and passes you in a blink, not sparing you a second glance. it takes few seconds for him and dino to pass and you wait for few more just in case before rushing out of that space. stupid, stupid, stupid. guilt and blame battle in yur head as you rush back to your room, not noticing anything around you. see, anxiety is a dirty, dirty liar and you're aware of that. it's just sometimes it's really hard to pull yourself out of those negative thoughts and self-blaming, sometimes it's hard to catch yourself at the moment before spiraling.

once in the safe quarters of your room, you feel tiredness overwhelm you as thoughts come back to seungkwan. you like him, of course. how can you not? how can anyone not? he's sunshine, he's warm and loving and always mindful of others. he is loud, he incredibly entertaining but in a way that is never offensive to someone else. he is handsome also with his baby cheeks and big dark eyes that stare at you with all the care in the world. and above it all, he is kind. oh, he is so kind that you don't udnerstand how so much generosity and empathy can all be placed into a one person. that's why - that's exactly why - you don't understand how someone like him could possibly fall for someone like you. everything about is so painstakingly normal and average, not nearly enough to hold attention of someone like seungkwan. you don't think he played a joke on you when he confessed - no, he's not that cruel, you are sure. but you also can't believe him; if it's not a joke, maybe it's something else? you never really thought much about his actions towards you: seungkwan was as kind and nice to you as he is to everyone else.

why would he say that he likes you then? why would he confess?

you didn't have any explanation for these questions. what could he like? you were never someone popular and never had line of secret admirers behind your back. seungkwan looks like someone who deserves another sunshine of the person standing next to him, but in your head you'll only deem his light. fingers picking at the hem of your oversized hoodie, you think of most memorable interactions of you both together and with a startle you realize that seungkwan always, always went out of his way to make you feel good about yoursef: ('whoa, you are so smart!' seungkwan gushed, staring at your completed exam paper. 'you really are a genius, huh?'

blushing, you shaked your head. 'no, i'm just-'

'you're the first one to finish,' seungkwan interrupted in a flat voice, pointing out obvious. 'you're always first one to finish and you get the best grades. what is it called if not being smart?')

or how he always somehow knew about interactions with your other friends and he'd always point out how you help them out or how highly they speak of you: ('you are very loved,' seungkwan's voice held too much emotion for you to be able to look in his eyes. 'your friends love you a lot.'

warm fuzzy feeling filled your chest and you smiled. 'i love them too.'

seungkwan chuckled at this and you finally dared to look up, willing your heart to start beating so fast. he stared at you with incomprehensible softness and part of you thought he looked almost fond, but another part immediately dispersed that idea. 'good. i'm happy that you're surrounded by people you love and who love you back.')

he always striked conversations with you first and themes varied from latest gossips to the most random facts ever, all to keep you entertained: ('did you know that crocodiles cannot stick their tongue out?' seungkwan seemed to be fascinated by this new knowledge. 'poor guys.'

'why would they need to stick their tongues out?' you wondered out loud, smiling a little as he quickly fell into the step with you, your shoulders bumping at each other a little. 'i don't think you have history next, why are coming with me?'

'to not let you get bored, of course,' seungkwan replied like it's obvious. 'and because i love your company. but also because i just learned that fact and really needed someone to tell.')

you smile at your last memory before biting your lower lip in frustration. because i love your company. could it be true? your company was nothing special. surely not special enough for seungkwan to even consider wasting his time in walking you to your lecture even if that's exactly what he did. groaning at complete misunderstanding of it all, you grab your blanket, throwing yourself at the bed with a huff. when you close your eyes that fateful day from three days ago comes into your mind. (he caught you off guard when you were going back home and you didn't think anything much at first, because seungkwan has that tendency of coming up unexpectedly; but then you started to get worry as he looked nervous. 'is everything okay?' you asked with your heart at your throat. seungkwan never looked nervous and in turn it grated on your own nerves. 'something happened?'

'no-no, everything is fine,' he quickly reassured you and even smiled, staring at you with that same gaze that looked almost fond. 'always caring, aren't you?' before you could comprehend this and somehow answer, he continued: 'i just thought i- i feel like i gotta come clean cause i have this feeling that you're not- like, you're not... getting... the hints, you know?'

you paled at those words. not getting something is one of your biggest fears, not being smart, not being good enough- 'hints?' you asked in a small voice, trying your hardest not to overthink.

'see, this is what i'm talking about,' seungkwan shook his head and dread filled your body. 'i knew you had no idea, boys kept pestering me to just be direct, so here i am.' he took one look at you and sighed. 'even right now you don't get where i'm going with this, don't you?'

you hated bad news. god, you hated them with everything in you and only option was to run. 'i need to go,' you muttered, trying to come up with something, but lying never was a strong suit of yours. 'um, i gotta-'

'i like you.')

your eyes shot open at the sound of the knock. a tentative one at first, but then more firm. sick feeling at the pit of your stomach increased as your gut whispers who exactly is standing behind that door. you can pretend to be asleep. that's what you were going to do anyway, right? so it wouldn't be a lie. seungkwan calls out your name from the other side of the door and you sit up, shocked. why he's not on the lecture now? did something happen? before you can even process those thoughts you're up and opening the door, staring at seungkwan with worried eyes, looking him all over. physically he seems to be fine, but his face carries such a grim expression that you step back on instinct. 'can i come in?' he asks in a quite voice.

'sure,' you move automatically, closing the door behind him with trembling fingers.

god, he is here to confront you, isn't he? confrontation is something you always managed to avoid but it looks like there's no escaping this one now. seungkwan doesn't look angry, so you hope for the best. 'i came to apologize.'

these words make all the mindless and negative thoughts inside your head come to a halt. apologize? 'for what?' you ask, sincerely confused.

'i think i made you really uncomfortable with my whole 'i like you' thing,' he says, looking serious and dejected. 'that was not my intention.'

that's when you notice them. beautiful, white and green. seungkwan held flowers behind his back, hiding them like little kids do. it's an adorable sight, it swells your heart until it grows too big for your chest. your silence doesn't deter seungkwan as he goes on: 'i won't take my words back, i do like you. but i am sorry if i were too direct.'

ball's on your side and it'd be really good to say something right now. weirdly enough all thoughts - even the negative and mean ones, the ones that tear you down and make you feel worthless - fly out of your head and you can't concentrate on anything apart from those flowers. you were pretty sure that they were for you and just- no one ever gifted you flowers before. never. the urge to receive them, to hold them in your hands is so strong, it makes you blink and look up at seungkwan, only one question falling from your lips: 'you brought me flowers?'

seungkwan chokes on his words and wordlessly nods, quickly handing them to you. with awe and feeling like you're accepting something very important and big, you take the flowers from his hands, pulling them closer. they smell like spring rain, like the butterflies in your stomach, like all your hopes growing big. flower stems itch between your fingers but you don't mind it at all. 'i- these are not like 'i'm sorry' flowers, by the way. these are more 'i appreciate you' flowers.' you turn to seungkwan in surprise and he fumbles with words, getting shy. 'does that make sense? i mean, i'm not giving them to you so you'd forgive them, i wanted to give you flowers cause...'

he drifts off but you know what he wanted to say. cause it looks like you've never been given them before. and that would be the truth. you almost say it for him when he adds: 'cause i just wanted to. you do so much, you help me so much and i wanted to let you know that i appreciate it. i thought flowers would be good but now..' he scratches back of his neck unsurely. 'now it seems like a bad idea.'

you shake your head, unable to hide your smile. cause i just wanted to. what if... what if there's a tiny, super tiny chance that all of your thoughts shouting at you and calling you unworthy for him are not true? what if universe favors you, what if you are her favorite and she sent seungkwan for you specifically? 'you like me,' you say, not question. seungkwan looks surprised but nods nonetheless. and nods so confidently that your doubts start to crumble. 'why?'

it's not a question to get praise for an answer. you're not fishing for compliments and seungkwan knows it. he smiles, shaking your head. 'you are so attentive to everyone else but so blind for your own self, it actually is concerning,' he mutters quietly but you still hear him. seungkwan takes a breath: 'i like you because you are caring, and smart, and kind. and you always help me and others, and i don't know, you are funny and did i say kind already?'

this feels like a dream. you listen to him and he lists those things that are not about you, they can't be about you - it's more like seungkwan is describing himself. but he is not cruel, you remind yourself, and he is not a liar. seungkwan really does mean it all about you and your heart might burst from all the emotions.

'and i don't want to seem shallow and sound like i'm looking only at physicality, but i mean, appereance one you're reaaally easy on the eye-' he suddenly stops, alert. '- is everything okay?'

there's moisture on your cheeks and with a loud squeak you realize that you're crying. hurrying up to wipe the tears, you press flowers right up your face and their smell invades your nose. spring rain. butterflies in your stomach. hope. seungkwan looks mildly terrified and you take a steadying breath, trying to calm down. it's shameful to start crying from that but tears actually felt good. 'i was not lying,' he suddenly says, stepping closer. 'but i can stop if it's too much.'

seungkwan's so considerate that it makes your heart ache. 'i know you weren't lying,' you say just to put him at ease. 'sorry that i got so emotional-'

'no, don't apologize,' he interrupts, carefully reaching out to wipe few tears himself. 'you're feeling okay?'

you listen to yourself intently: are you okay? there's no war of anxiety vs logic happening inside, so you're experiencing any stress. it's actually rather rare for you to feel as peaceful as you do right now. 'i'm fine,' you hear yourself say and it's true. and then, making eye contact with seungkwan, you say in an unexpected wave of bravery: 'thank you. for flowers and those words. no one... no one ever said anything like this before. or gave me flowers.'

seungkwan's face is carefully blank but before you still noticed spark of surprise and bewilderment as if notion of no one giving you flowers or telling you these words seemed incomprehensible to him. 'i...' he starts, carefully eyeing you. 'i can help you like you help me.'

'help me with what?' you ask quietly already knowing the answer.

'to be kinder to yourself,' he responds. 'you'll see yourself through my eyes and that image will crush all the doubts you have in your head about yourself.'

maybe universe loves you in reality. because how else can you explain seungkwan's existence in your life? feeling this kind of peace is so rare for you and you crave that feeling all the time. what if seeing yourself from his eyes is exactly what you need?

'okay,' you breathe out before you can change your mind.

seungkwan lights up and nods. 'okay,' he agrees readily.

maybe seungkwan came right at the moment when you needed him the most. came with flowers that smell like spring rain, and butterflies in the stomach, and hope.

a/n: i wrote this down in one sitting and i'm sorry if this got too sad, but i hope by the end of it all of you are smiling. thank you for reading this! - nini

tagging @prpldahy

[partywithoutsmiling]

Do you think you can tell us what happens in would tour specifically at the end when the strings are broken? Is branch there? Does the world go gray or does it stay colourful because their technically is more strings? Oooooo how do the leaders react/find out about this random gray troll who sum how has made more strings?!?!

I think Branch would be there for sure

Skipping ahead of the timeline, after the events of the 1st movie- and realizing Poppy did miss him, he would be rather reluctant to leave his Tribe again for a while (his reawakened crush on Poppy certainly not helping matters)

However, he has now been on the move for so long, that staying in one place indefinitelly gives him jitters (and bit of a spoiler, but he did manage to meet at least one of his brothers on his travels, that made him realize that perhaps this Wanderlust is hereditary to an extent)

Also ever since returning to Pop Village, he came to realization that King Peppy seem to know more about the wide world than Branch had suspected; before, he just thought that the Pop Troll's ignorance stemmed from their isolation and decades of selective culling- knowledge and histories are bound to be lost and forgotten in that case, but given the nervous glances Peppy sends his attire and his rock guitar, Branch can put one and one together.

But Peppy doesn't ask and Branch doesn't offer any explanation, and while Poppy is curious enough to ask Branch where he went, she doesn't push when he just says 'away'. She still remembers when Branch just up and disappeared one day and no-one cared to notice that for weeks- to an extent, not even her, even though she is the most aware of his prensence than anyone.

After that fiasco with the funeral, Poppy just figured Branch holed up himself in his bunker to sulk- or so she thought- and will come out when ready. And truthfully, she thought that it was, for once, a good idea- because the mood of the community was not great, when it came to the grey troll, and she herself was at loss what to say or do to make it better. She could hardly defend Branch's actions for all that she understood his freakout (at least a little bit)

It was only when more time than usual passed that she grew concerned- while the other trolls around her didn't.

A little bit of angsty idea was that Branch, in his shame, left behind both Floyd's vest and his old Hideout Plan, as those were two mementos that really tied him to his old life, and Poppy- with bit of brute force- managed to get her way into the bunker and found both.

She was really just a teenager then- and was suddenly forced to come to a reality where a Troll that was supposed to be her responsibility as a future Queen just... left. Left, because he felt so unwelcome in the Village- unwelcome in her presence- that feelings themselves driven him away.

And similar to Branch, Poppy had no idea other trolls existed- there was only the Village and the Bergen Town, and all the dangers that existed between it. It was unspoken rule that to leave the Village meant a certain death- and here she was, holding Branch's iconic vest that he never ever takes off, holding a yellowed scrapbooked plan of childlike wonder, that revealed a familial history of heartbreak and abandonment (after all, she knows these names, she knows Brozone songs and trivia by heart)....

Honestly, She and Branch probably came to be peas in a pod, when it comes to feeling of self-loathing and lack of self-worth.

After all, perfect Queens don't allow their subject to become outcasts

Perfect Queens don't turn blind eye towards unjustified shunning

Perfect Queens don't certainly drive away their friends to perish in the wilderness

And for the next 4 years- especially after the uncomfortable realization that only handful of people even care that Branch was gone- she felt deep guilt and suppresed grief very keenly, plagued by what ifs; what if she went to him the day after the funeral, what if she checked up on him that very night- would he had stayed? What if she never pushed him like she did, secretly delighting in crafting the most annoying glitter-spewing invitations, knowing it irritated him What if she was kinder, respected his refusals better, listened to his warnings

Would he had stayed?

And honestly, up until the point that he returned, she had no answers, and thought she would never got any

So after their reunion, she burns with questions and curiosity- and holds it back, because he already left once, and she is terrified to push him away again, this time for good. Because that's what she focuses on now- he came back.

Of course, that relief changes nothing when mere seventh months after their peace with the Bergens- after they repaired their village, after Poppy got used to having Branch by her side, singing, dancing, playing, harmonizing

She is suddenly feeling like thrown into a cold water when he tells her he wants to go traveling again, and all the fears and past grief comes rushing

I believe they would have quite the row about it- unknowingly reminding Branch of the night his brothers argued and left, which only pushes him to be angrier- while Poppy uses her outburst to hide the irrational terror she feels

So it ends with Branch storming off in a huff and Poppy storming off in a huff- but when her senses catches up to her and she is quite panicked to make ammends and to sooth the argument over, Branch is long gone

Few more months passes, and while not as cheerful, Poppy tries to keep herself upbeat- then the invitation comes, Peppy finally admits to there being more kind of trolls, and to her it is like Oh, of course.

The excitement returning, she now has secondary goal to her 'unite the tribes together' under big party- she just knows Branch is living with one of the tribes now- and she is right, when she encounters him in Lonesome Flats

(Well, after he learnes that she got thrown into jail for her Crimes against Music that is pf)

Branch, naturally, still has no idea about the Strings (as he dipped out before Peppy gave that piece of history away) but learning about them now doesn't give him any more peace of the mind. Contrary to his first mindset in the original plot- where he wanted to avoid the other trolls altogether- he is now stalwart defender of all genres, and hates the idea of any of them disappearing.

(A side note: in his wanderings, I think the only rulers- or would be rulers- that he had met was Delta, Trollex and Barb; Trollex had just been freshly crowned and Barb has not been queen yet) (He and Barb probably struck a very odd friendship- where Branch had no idea he was hanging out with the princess of Rock- namely because Rock Trolls didn't use the term of 'prince' and 'princess' for their heirs- and he probably told her all about his travels) (Hearing that she is behind this mess makes him feel horrified. Did he gave her the idea to try and take over the world?)

Anyway, events happens, the finale comes- the final showdown XD

Only, the fight plays out quite differently

Branch and Barb being friends, he confronts her about what she's doing and quite stubbornly gets into her face about her ideas. Dares her to change him the way she wants to change everyone- dares her to erase him, like she dreams about

It makes her hesitate for sure- she already went so far, and wont be stopped now. Expression hardening, she aims her guitar at Poppy and strikes the chord- not expecting Branch to jump between them.

This event probably doesnt have the desired effect that she imagined. Had Branch had been just a normal Pop Troll- or as close as to one genre as one can get, he would have been Zombified without any issues.

But with the Power Chord, it's Strings against Strings- and the results are probably quite... explosive. Devastatingly so.

Only, Branch has an unknowing advantage- his seventh String, shining so innocently from his hair among the others.

When it comes to matching powers, the Royal Rock Guitar looses, pathetically so- and as the stage around them explodes, so does the guitar, taking the power of music with it, leeching everything of colours and light, untill nothing but darkness and greyscale remains.

Except for a singular troll that stands tall and proud in the middle of it all, injured, sure, but colourful, rainbow heart shining through the fuzz on his chest, the strings in his hair glowing brighter than ever XD

[toastandjamie]

Hey so… in Great Hunt when Fain broke out of Fal-Dara what actually happened there. We don’t ever get an explanation about how Fain or whatever/whoever knocked both Egwene and Mat unconscious. Neither of them were actually injured just unconscious which would indicate they were knocked out through unconventional means. Which then leads to the “Why not just kill them” question, but perhaps it would just be too time consuming. Then there’s the dagger of it all, why take the dagger, Fain was unlikely to have actually known what the dagger was or what it did. Perhaps he Did know that it was at least something Mat found valuable and in turn the others would also likely feel so. A back up plan in case the horn wasn’t good enough to lure Rand and the others after him?

On that note I also want to talk about Perrin’s monologue about the whole thing. Perrin and Rand have a lot in common including how personally responsible they both feel for the others safety, specifically Mat and Egwene. In general both of them seem to be under this impression that Egwene and Mat aren’t capable of protecting themselves- for various reasons, Mat because of his immaturity and Egwene because she’s a young woman. This lessens as time goes on and the group are forced apart and reunited with each intermittently after receiving enough experience and character development that it’s hard to keep arguing that any of them are vulnerable. The difference between them is that Perrin is able to talk himself down from his guilt, he can accept the fact that he realistically could have done anything to protect them in this situation- where as Rand tends to fully take on responsibility for any bad thing that happens. Rand isn’t able to differentiate what is and isn’t in his control whereas Perrin and is uniquely aware of his own limits. In Great Hunt Perrin repeatedly checks on Mat while he’s unconscious and notes to the audience that he feels guilty for not having been with Mat when Egwene had asked him to check on Fain with her- though he notes that he likely would��ve ended up unconscious like the other two. Then when Rand asks him about how Mat is doing, Perrin of course snaps at him to check on him himself if he’s worried, though after Rand apologizes more thoroughly to Perrin for their fight earlier Perrin does recognize that Rand’s worry is genuine and tells him. Though Rand accidentally ruins it by implying that Aes Sedai were only looking for him, further enforcing Mat and Perrin’s earlier quarrel of “Rand thinking he’s better and more important than us.”. I could say more about Perrin in this book but I’ll digress for now.

[bluewithpurplepolkadots]

Honestly I might (might) write a longer post about it at some stage but like… my current feelings on finishing MAWs second season is that the new characters (as in those introduced in this show and didn’t exist prior to it) were very solid.

Certain older characters (as in: those that existed prior to this show). Uhhhh.

Um.

In any case I feel a reason for this is because those in charge of season two did of course watch season one: or at least had it fresh in their minds.

Because of this, they were aware of some things which didn’t work in that first season in terms of its newer characters and that the ending wasn’t satisfactory (particularly for Tylor and Val) and decided to make something better out of it: all while still making it feel like something that could organically grow out of the events of season one.

Things like monsters thinking comedy wasn’t respectable feels realistic. Tylor failing hard at it is also inevitable. Val being well suited to it also. (Especially as being more like a cool babysitter rather than doing stand up). I thought the fact they made them into a comedy duo was a very clever idea I didn’t see coming: but also didn’t feel like it came out of nowhere. It’s really a way for Tylor to be realistically involved with comedy again which doesn’t feel as forced and off as season ones doughnut joke did.

This is good solid writing to me. With their own new characters that they themselves made, while they may have stumbled in season one: I feel the show really gets them now.

But… I honestly wonder if the writers watched either MU or MI upon first starting to write for this show. At least recently. Since they got the job in question I mean.

They’ve clearly seen it at some point in their life. They also perhaps fast forwarded and zeroed in on a specific scenes like Sulley in the laugh floor with Boos picture in season one. They’ve researched the sets that were available and expanded. That sort of thing.

But otherwise it feels like they based the older characters off vibes and half forgotten memories they had of what they thought they were like. Like it’s possibly been more then a decade anyway since they’ve given it a look. Even in season one something feels off with Sulley to me. I’m not sure how to describe it.

And: Randall is indeed violent in MI. There he’s the kind of guy to turn invisible, throw a scream canister at you, state he’s always wanted to do that, darkly chuckle and then choke you out while your friend blathers on at you without realising what’s happening. Randall in MI can be dark man. But: The MAW version… it isn’t really Randall at all. He’s way too… cackling and bouncing off the walls for some reason. He doesn’t know these mifters. With Sulley, Randall has been bitter as hell for a long time and he wasn’t like this. The only take away from the original movie would be a call back to Sulley unplugging the machine to save Mike: like Randall did to them to stop them from taking back the laugh power.

The only possible explanation I’ll take is that his head got scrambled by the shovel. Which would be… fairly dark and possibly interesting as an implication. For Sulley and Mike to be responsible for that happening. But rather like the fact that in season one they just have CEOs legally able to banish monsters if they have the right excuse, I kind of doubt we’ll ever get a look into it or we’re supposed to think on things like that in any real depth.

Also, as a major Sulley fan. I have to say the whole evidence in Tylors locker things and jumping to belief of guilt kind of pissed me off. Granted while better than only-fifteen-minutes-lunch Johnny, he ain’t the best boss at points. (He had his comedians work a double shift? Mike almost dying from a drug overdose on energy drinks Etc) But once again… I’m not sure we’re supposed to take it that way or as a potential thing he has to work on which is kind of… disappointing?

Like he could have an arc. Learn to be a better boss? Maybe Roz shouldn’t have done the random idea of throwing it on them immediately. (Where is the board of directors Waternoose complained about anyway? Yeah see: this is why I think it’s been a while since any major writer has seen the movie).

Johnny was actually pretty solid until the finale and until he chose to tell Tylor of his plans for…. Absolutely no reason. Like Tylor had been working there for a day. He was expressing doubt even. Before this, given vague spoilers I had, I thought Johnny was being handled well and they could make his secretly-evil!Johnny reveal be good even if Randall wasn’t exactly sounding too hot.

Like just have Tylor sneak around and be suspicious of something. Did you run out of time? I guess it’s possible. Season twos pacing before the final two is pretty solid. But if you only had ten episodes? Hrm. Idk. Hard to know what to cut honestly to make room if you don’t want a cliffhanger ending.

I guess this may be an odd example of competent original fiction writers failing to write convincing fanfic.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Dead Friend Forever - final thoughts

I say final thoughts, knowing I will likely have many more thoughts to come on this series. Because this is definitely one of those shows that gets its hooks into you.

I file this one under "super memorable and engaging watch that I will never watch again" because I really enjoyed it, but also struggle with such dark material (and I can't stop crying over sweet baby White).

First though, major props to BOC for doing something different in the BL genre. This is the kind of creativity that I love to see, similarly to The Sign or Playboyy. It doesn't always work, and I know there are wildly different feelings about all three of these shows, but that's the point - if no one takes creative risks, no one cares about the outcome.

In this case, the ending actually worked for me. I was expecting something ambiguous, because a) horror genre, and b) there was such a huge difference in interpretations throughout the entire series that it seemed clear they were planting a lot of things that could be seen in vastly different ways. And I think the ending stays consistent with that.

I also don't mind ambiguity if it gives me a lot to chew on in metaphorical meaning, and wow was this show a juicy one.

That said, it definitely wasn't perfect, and there were plenty of loose threads that could have been tightened. But I still found so much that worked for me.

My interpretations

So here's my thoughts on the ending, speaking for myself, within my lens and my cultural context.

I see this as a story about purgatory. Not in the sense of any religious system, but in the sense of being a human, and dealing with human emotions. It's a story about the ripple effects of our own selfishness, of how lack of empathy and caring creates a cost for ourselves as well as others, of holding on to guilt, of what happens when we refuse to reckon with the harm we've done.

I don't see anything that happened on this current day visit to the house as a literal, real life, experience.

A few reasons why (and note, I'm aware there are people who will prescribe the below to bad writing/editing, I'm interpreting these as conscious choices made by production):

The road seemed quite well maintained and straight forward on the way in on the truck (and well used enough that Por's dad put a sign up there), yet when anyone tried to leave, they ended up on small forest paths or there was damage to the road.

Similarly, Top & New rode out on the bike for a while, but then New was able to get back to the house really quickly. It had a feeling of "you can check out any time you like but you can never leave" for me.

The Janta temple. This random big building with a ton of fresh blood and lit candles, yet no one else ever being around, and Phee & Jin getting locked in.

The drugs don't explain how all the hallucinations matched so well, or that they all focused exclusively on Non. You telling me Por and Top never did any other sketchy shit in their life? Tee worked for his uncle for years, but didn't have a single other regret? No glimpse of his father, of White being hurt? Fluke didn't get any visions of his parents asking when he was going to finally be a doctor and worthy of their love? White, the one stuck in purgatory because of his love for Tee, was the only one to have a non-Non hallucination.

It's also not really well explained how New could have physically done everything here - such as set up the trap for Por while hanging out with the other guys. Maybe he did, but he never confirmed Phee's explanation for everything that happened.

But my biggest reason for feeling this way is what happens to each character.

Por was used to being the center of the group, due to his wealth and status. But he gets immobilized and silenced.

Top made Non take the fall for him, and then becomes the puppet of the killer in this scenario.

Fluke always did his best to stay on the outskirts and not be seen, but everyone here sees his paranoia and selfishness.

Tee had regrets, but he was still responsible for a huge part of what led directly to Non's death, and he ends up losing what he loves the most through his own actions (he was the one who convinced White to come, like he convinced Non to work for his uncle).

Jin knew that he was violating Non by recording and releasing the video, hence his experiencing the same violation in his hallucinations. But the crux of his situation is that he had a selfish love for Non, and therefore regardless of how much he wants to believe that Phee's love will protect him, it's not enough to save him in the end.

And then of course we have Phee, New, and White. Three people not involved in the initial course of actions, but caught up in them all the same.

White is truly innocent, but sometimes when we love those who have caused harm, we pay a cost. That's the injustice of life. He was a good boy, and learning what Tee did hurt him.

Phee couldn't let go of his guilt for what he said the last time he saw Non, and for not reaching out to him in time. He knew how much Non struggled, he came in during a self-harm attempt before, but his pride wouldn't let him help Non. He also moved on with Jin, but won't acknowledge that there are genuine feelings involved. He says this weekend is all about learning the truth, but he doesn't even care that Jin released the tape. He wants to believe he knows Non better than anyone, but he doesn't really. He wants to heroically save Jin, but he is not the romantic hero in any of this. There's a disconnect between who he wants to believe himself to be, and who he actually is. And it's why he's not really free at the end.

And New. New is so fascinating to me, because like Phee, he was trapped in his guilt. But unlike Phee, through his choices at the house (despite regretting the innocent loss of White & Dang), through his passionate commitment to doing whatever he can for Non, even if it is far too late, he is able to finally let go of his guilt. He is at peace with his choices, and so he sees Non forgiving him. And I think New is able to move on.

Because in the end, I don't see this as these boys being punished by some cosmic moral authority, but rather their own choices and own feelings of guilt/refusal to admit to said guilt.

Reminder - I make no claims of "the truth", this is just my truth.

Relatedly, they did nothing to prove that Non did not fake his death, so you can't make me think he's not having a much better life somewhere with a really good therapist and a hot boyfriend (perhaps Perth).

Last note - the acting in this show was so goddamn good. Mio and Barcode were the standouts for me, but there was a lot of talent on display. I hope they all get a nice career bump from this.

[roboyomo]

I'm enabling you now go go go

UOU. SIGNAL UNDERSTOOD. Time for the big kenix and azrael rant under the cut!!!

So to start off, I'll briefly explain Azrael as a character since Kenix technically already had a brief character explanation

Azrael is also one of the "7 Deadly Sins" crew, just like Kenix, with his assigned sin being Envy.

For Azrael's case, Envy would be represented by his failures. Specifically failing his original protecting duties as a soldier in his past life, now envious of 'he' from his fantasies who has succeeded to protect others. The fact that he failed many times to live up to the version of him who has it all, driving him absolutely crazy. And as he does not have any idea how to deal with these feelings of anger and guilt, he only starts to blame everyone else around who had it better than him. Anyone who has managed to live up to their goals, being incredibly envious of them, to the point of purposefully ruining their lives. Ruining what they had so they could experience the same misery he felt this entire time, until it backfired and got him killed instead. (he is in misery but he doesn't want to be drowned in it alone, so he brings others down with him). He has failed himself by not meeting his own expectations, so the thought that there is a version of him out there that has succeeded to meet those same expectations and is now living better than before... makes him want to curse the entire world. Being extremely jealous of anyone who had the great success he wanted originally, now pouring out his misery as revenge on others, just to see them fall down the same way his entire world shattered in his eyes. The same misery now being turned into the poison inside his body, using it as a weapon against his enemy in the Afterlife. Now living as a cursed being that is forever bound to this insufferable nature, he tries to keep mostly to himself after becoming the 4th in line to join the sins crew. No roaming around the land with no end in sight, no contact, no relationships — only him and himself.

That is until Kenix himself has taken interest in Azrael. The interest was ever so the same as it was for the previous members of the crew. Attempting to get on semi-friendly terms with the others that are now just as miserable as him deep inside, since aggravating them would nothing good to both parties and he is aware of how fucked everything is for all of them combined, having the "false" feeling of empathy for them. But Azrael intrigued him the most because of how much he felt that their anguish was similar in a way. Both of their worlds were shattered and took it out on others because they didn't know how to deal with their problems in a healthy way, Azrael's case just got more extreme than Kenix's, who has only took it out on his surronding enviroment, which was very limited ever since he was young (and additionally taking it out on some of the Original timeline crew members/"The Warriors" after he was in the Afterlife). It was then when the suppressed desperation to feel something resurfaced. The wish to know what a connection between people is, the wish to have even someone by his side that would accept him as the awful person he is now. That desperation slipping through the the cracks of his facade of carelessness for others, having no feelings of remorse for his actions — he knows he can't go on for long without any sort of human interaction, that would only drive him more insane and worsen his state which would lead to his end sooner than expected. Not only is it because he knows that there is a higher risk chance if he will forever cut off everyone from his life, it is own wish to have someone finally accept him that has been born from the years of loneliness and isolation. He wants to, he 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘰 find some sort of companion for his own sake, something he never thought could happen because he truly believed that he would be better off without anyone. He doesn't think that he could ever become better, but the thought that someone, whose just as awful as he is, would accept him as this very same awful being, made him feel something that he has never experienced (Is it hope?? Is it the desperation for affection?? Not even Kenix knows that)

And that's when Azrael comes in. Nothing about Azrael said that the interest was mutual, but Kenix didn't stop attempting to engage in a first conversation with him. Azrael, due to his nature and the decision to distance himself from others, didn't feel like it. In fact, he also felt like Kenix shouldn't be trusted so there was this constant need to be cautious around him. Something about that attitude, that smile, the manner of speaking Kenix has,,, threw him off a few times to be honest. But when Azrael tried to confront Kenix head on about why the one kept trying to get closer to him, Kenix would only make up a shallow lie that Azrael's gradient hair looked interesting. He could 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 ever admit out loud that he desperately longed for someone who understood him, admitting to that would be a sign of showing weakness — and that is prohibited when Kenix's first desire was about being powerful and seem powerful. Additionally, it is not like he would ever take "my carefully built facade is slowly breaking day by day and my true feelings and desperate wishes for human companionship and physical affection have been shown to someone that I thought would finally be the one to help me get through this agony" well. he would probably spiral and worsen everything about his mental state and sanity even more and that means that he would meet his demise sooner. which is unwanted as he still wants to have a chance at life — not the best one, but a life at the very least.

It is where their relationships starts to build off from that point. Azrael slowly starts to show more trust towards Kenix and that made Kenix have this sense of hope, the hope that Azrael will become the one person Kenix wished to have by his side until the end of time. Kenix undeniably always has been fascinated by Azrael and with each interaction, the fascination for him grew only bigger. From Azrael acting annoyed at Kenix for being too bothersome to sincerely enjoying each other's company. Starting all those nice conversations between them about anything they share as interests until Azrael one day decided to hold Kenix's hand without realizing it himself. He pretty much realized it only by seeing Kenix's puzzled face. That is when he found out that Kenix has... almost no concept of what physical affection is shown through. No grasp on the idea of what hand holding is, or no idea about any other displays of affection. Finding out about just how isolated Kenix was that he has no idea about how it feels to be hugged or hug someone else was just shocking to him. Which made him start being curious about what various displays of affection Kenix has no idea about. and is it not surprising that he doesn't know about most of it. this man's past is probably the definition of loneliness and he never knew what it was like to be loved or show love to others so pretty obvious that this stuff will puzzle him as it is just this new thing for him even if he wished for it for a long time.

Azrael just holding his hand actually made Kenix crave that feeling more (because of incredibly touch starved this man is). It is "I never knew of this sensation but please stay with me like this for just a few more minutes I'll provide us with all the time in the world to allow us to just stay closer together for a longer while" kind of craving (at this point he is not able to hide just how badly he needed someone next to him at all times)

Now Azrael is just showing this guy with some serious unaddressed issues™ what it is like to be loved and Kenix tries to show love back with what is left of his heart. Usually successful but sometimes it is just gifting something made out of someone else. it is not fun to hear the screaming of thousands because you wear this ring he gifted you. They have still committed atrocities but now they are able to accidentally "fix" each other without realizing it

[toyybox]

Spiderwebs #36: Crocodile

Masterlist

content: nightmare, discussion of death

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Heather was aware of Jackie’s nightmares, but she never brought them up. There wasn’t any point in that. They were unpleasant, she was sure, but it was just another fact of life that he had gotten used to. There was nothing to be done.

So when Jackie woke up with a violent jerk, pulling away from her and pulling up the bedsheets in the process, she knew exactly what had happened. But it couldn't be helped. 

She rubbed her eyes. “Jackie—“

His stare flicked to Heather. For a moment, it was like he didn’t recognize her, like he was a feral thing with eyes gleaming in the dark and a blank terror flashing in his expression—but the moment passed, and his blank stare gave way to recognition. His posture relaxed. Only a little, but he wasn’t a split second away from bolting out of the room now.

“Oh. Sorry. Bad dream. Nightmare.” That was all the explanation he offered. After a brief hesitation, he sat upright proper, shifting out of his awkward half-down half-up stance. He cleared his throat, fixing his gaze upon the bedsheets.

That was fair. That was natural. It couldn’t be helped, couldn’t be changed. This didn’t mean anything. It didn’t have to mean anything. 

“Heather…” His gaze returned to the bedsheets. “How long did you leave me down there?”

 Well. This had to come up eventually. No use in sugarcoating it. “Three months. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t try to guilt me.” But he didn’t sound angry. He sounded rather guilty, in fact. “I thought you would come back sooner.”

“I know.” She closed her eyes for a long moment. “I know. It was a mistake. I was scared, but I shouldn’t have abandoned you.”

“It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. I hurt you. You’ve never done anything wrong to me, and I—“ She let her voice waver here, a bit, let it hitch—“I hurt you, Jackie. I’m sorry. I didn’t—“

He looked like he had run his car over a puppy. “Listen, it’s fine. I don’t care. I shouldn’t have brought it up. Just go back to sleep.”

“Don’t say that to make me feel better,” she snapped. It didn’t take much effort to make her voice tremble. A bit high pitched and a little quiet, that was all it took. “I’m a horrible person. I’m awful. I’ve been awful to you. It was selfish. I want to change, believe me, I want to fix this, but I don’t know how, and I don’t know how to make it up to you, and I want to apologize—“

He looked like the puppy he just squashed exploded into a mess of blood and bones. “Heather, I was going to kill you. I was literally trying to kill you. You’re mortal. It’s not the same thing. I needed to learn a lesson. Please just go back to sleep.”

And that was all you needed for an apology. All there was to it. Just a few crocodile tears, nothing too difficult. They could move on from that little detour.

She sighed. “You’re right. Let’s forget about it.”

He nodded. He lay his head back down. He did not face her, but that was understandable. That was only fair.

She did the same, lying on her back, staring at the dark of the ceiling. A chandelier hung from a chain, dull glass and the vague outlines of curves. The television had turned itself off. There was no more neon glare to disturb the gradual black. But the lights outside the window were as insistent as ever. She couldn’t tell the stars from the billboards. All bright and blaring, all the same. 

Without warning he shifted over, sat up again, startling her. “Heather?”

“Yes?”

“How do we know you’re not immortal?”

“That’s easy.” It was a natural question to ask, now that they knew mortality was not a given.  She had never died before, after all. Immortality was usually proven behind a sharp blade or a bottle of arsenic, something that wasn’t easy to test. On the surface, it was a paradox. But Jackie was late to the paradoxical party—Heather already had her proof. 

“So?” he demanded. “How do you know?”

“I’ve caught the flu before. A bad case of pneumonia as well, when I was younger. You’ve never gotten sick, right? Never even caught a cold?”

He nodded. 

“Exactly. Your immortality prevents it. But I’m completely mortal, on the other hand. I’m not immune to these things.”

This had upset him, for reasons she could not understand. It wasn’t obvious, but she knew him well. He couldn’t hide it from her. The corners of his mouth went tense, his gaze somewhere else, pupils shining and unfocused. 

Heather almost put a hand on his shoulder, but thought better of it. She knew, somehow, that it wouldn’t help. “Do you want to tell me something?”

“You’re going to die one day.”

“Yes. That’s the definition of mortality.”

“But I won’t.”

“We don’t know that for certain, Jackie. It’s very possible that you will die one day. Your body could simply stop healing. It could fail for no reason at all. It happens all the time. We’d be none the wiser.”

“What if I don’t die?” he asked, more insistent, almost sounding angry. “What if I live forever? What if you’re gone one day, and I’m still here?”

“Don’t dump my body in a ditch, I suppose. A proper burial would be nice.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about. I mean, I’ll do all that, but what about…” He attempted to explain with a few vague gestures, which did nothing to help his point. “What about me? What would I do? Where would I go?”

“You could go wherever you want to.”

He stared blankly.

“You could do whatever you wanted,” she repeated. “I wouldn’t be able to stop you. You could leave.”

She thought this would comfort him, but Jackie just glared at her and went back to bed. He said nothing more on the subject.

Heather blinked. People, so intricate, so easily set off. Spiderwebs of invisible strings, broken by the slightest pressure. He was tightly wound.

“Jackie, come on.” She leaned forward a little. “I didn’t think it would upset you.”

“I’m not upset.”

“If you insist, but don't ignore me. Besides, I’m not going to die any time soon. Unless something unlikely happens, I’ll live for five or six decades more. There’s no point in getting anxious over this.”

“I know.” He didn’t get up.

Heather stared at his back for a few moments. Her situation was… strange, to put it lightly. She was in bed with her test subject. In bed with the immortal Jackie Rockwell. This was not very professional. But they had crossed that line long ago; there was no point in going on and on about it like a broken record. 

It was nice, though. Not arguing. Getting along for once. He was incredibly compliant, and he was beautiful, and Heather had nothing better to do.  

Oh, it was all his fault. He was just too good at it. That poised little smile, the earnest expression so plain on his face. When other people expressed their love, they sounded like recordings, like parrots. Heather tried to think of anything else, but she found herself replaying his words over and over until they lost their clarity, until they blurred and distorted—a confession, an admission of defeat.

“Are you asleep?” he asked.

“No.”

She heard the soft sounds of shifting fabric. “I can’t sleep.”

“That’s okay.”

The headlights of a truck flashed bright-white outside; a stop sign flashed red. She bit at the edge of her lip. The stilted gaps in their conversation were getting to her. But there was no point in trying to push the discussion any further. That had died long ago, and it was nearly two in the morning. Heather went back to bed.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

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[intercoursefluids]

Where Do I Belong Chapter 8

Damian stared down at the sleeping twins on the bed, painfully aware of Alya, Jon’s sister’s best friend, burning a hole into the side of his head.

“What?” Damian asked, looking away from the two to check his phone.

His father and Clark should be there soon, they had been packing up her room for her. (Clark had been using his super speed while Bruce handled hiring transportation to get everything shipped over.)

“So, Mari is fine now, the other guy-” Alya began, gesturing to bed.

“Jon.” Damian interrupted

“-Jon, is asleep, so we’re just gonna say he’s fine too. So how about this, we are all left in the dark in some way or other, you share what you know and we share what we know” She broached, pulling out a chair and taking a seat.

Damian thought it over, on one hand, it felt like a violation of Jon’s trust to tell them everything.

On the other hand, everyone really needed to be on the same page here.

Damian took a seat, coming to the decision to only share the cold hard facts of what he knew. Nothing about how anyone took the news or the how they felt about it.

“Do you want me to start?” Damian asked, sending one last glance to his friend and long lost sister.

They were both dead asleep, though they seemed to have migrated from their previous positions.

Well, Marinette had moved, Jon was still in the same stiff position he had fallen asleep in, lying on his back and holding on to her hand tightly. Careful not to cross any of the boundaries Alya had set up.

Marinette had no such reservations. She had tossed her arm over Jon, and her knee looked like it was digging into his side. Damian doubted he could feel it.

“Yeah, you seem to know more about what’s going on than us anyway.” Nino said, taking a seat next to Alya.

“Very well.” Damian replied, debating on where to start.

Alya must have seen his internal struggle, offering up a starting point.

“How about you start when it was decided to come get Mari? I feel like anything before that she should tell us herself, y’know, after she finds out.” She reasoned, shooting a glance to her friend.

Damian nodded, checking his phone as it dinged.

It was Father, they would be a little later than expected and were asking what everyone wanted for dinner.

“Excuse me, it’s my Father. He is bringing back dinner for everyone and wants to know what you all would like.” Damian explained, feeling a little guilt about delaying the explanation.

Alya and Nino shared a glance before shrugging.

“I don’t eat pork but other than that I think were good with anything, Mari too.” Nino said, nodding his head in her direction.

“That is fine, I don’t eat meat at all. It’s nothing they aren’t used to working around.” Damian said, sending his father their requests before putting his phone away.

“I apologize for the interruption. Now, the decision to come get Marinette was made about a week ago, when we received a call from her guardian. He told us that her adoptive parents had passed and that they believed it best for her to come live with her biological parents, if they would have her.” Damian explained, laying out the facts as he knew them.

He refused to mention how they had cried.

How Jon had shown up outside his window in the middle of the night in the middle of a panic attack.

How he had cried so hard he had thrown up in Damian’s bathroom.

How he had been unable to sleep well since the call had come in, how he hadn’t slept whatsoever in the past 48 hours as they prepared to come to Paris.

How he’d shaken the entire plane ride, terrified that she would want nothing to do with them for abandoning her.

Regardless of the fact that the Kents had not abandoned her, in any sense of the word.

“We offered to give her longer, to pack her belongings and say her goodbyes to everyone but we were assured she would be ready by the end of the week. As you can see, that was not the case.”

“We were led to believe that she was informed about everything that was happening, that she approved of the plan.” Damian shook his head, leaning back in his chair.

Nino looked understanding, if a little pained by his explanation.

Alya on the other hand, seemed furious.

She shot up from her seat, pacing back and forth and running a hand through her hair.

She was muttering under her breath, something that Damian wisely chose to tune out.

Come Find Me On Discord!<3

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[onewomancitadel]

It really tickles me that Jaune's anima (his feminine unconscious) and Ruby's Shadow kills Pyrrha, like an actual part of Jaune kills Pyrrha and Ruby's suppressed darkness kills Pyrrha, but it awakens her silver eyes - the heritage of her mother, which she can't speak of and knows nothing about, which the very mention of twists something inside her. I think this is where the Jung stuff actually adds another element to the story which isn't just about setting things in order and giving the characters their roles, because it is actually kind of exciting to think there is a literal explanation for Jaune's guilt beyond the fact that he feels like had he been capable, he could've gone with her up the Tower and saved her. A maligned and externalised part of him - his feminine enemy, the part of himself he hates and fears, that he will grow to especially hate - is responsible for killing his teammate, almost-Fall Maiden and love interest.

Cinder loses an eye and a arm after this sequence. Salem explains this to her that it was Ruby's fault, but I don't think this is the case: I think it's very clever of Salem to make Cinder think she's weak to the silver eyes, when the silver eyes would free her of the Grimm curse she's placed under - Cinder's White Shadow, her suppressed light, her goodness, is actually the key to her freedom from this new imprisonment.

And then there's the fact that it's Ruby's Shadow who kills Ozpin, which causes him to reincarnate into Oscar, which brings Ruby's animus (her masculine unconscious) into the story, so Ruby can actually keep going on her Heroine's Journey and reach a Jungian catharsis Salem never could. Ozpin's death is necessary for Ruby's psychological wholeness, but then there's also the fact that Oscar is the next victim of the curse, which is another obstacle to overcome; Ruby is his anima, his feminine unconscious, and she's the only one in V6 who believes he can be free of it.

I think more specifically to Jaune, to pick up on that idea of the feminine part of himself being his enemy - it's that it's very literal in his story, there's obviously a masculine anxiety in his storyline. He's worried about being a Huntsman, being weak, saving people, taking on gross responsibility beyond himself, fulfilling his family's legacy in a very particular way, which he begins to overcome when he awakens his Semblance because he can't kill Cinder. He can't fight her, he can't meaningfully hurt her (physically), and she can threaten his loved ones - she's physically very powerful, she has the Fall Maiden power - but that's kind of the answer, right, which is that he's not meant to fight her, because he'd be killing part of his soul, which awakens his Semblance. She sees into him and decides that she's not going to kill him despite the fact he's supine beneath her, physically vulnerable but at this moment, coming into spiritual awareness and unsettling her, because that's what he wants - her masculine unconscious is angry and hurting, and (physically) powerless, her worst fear - but she's not going to give him what he seemingly wants and really, cosmically, teach him a lesson, that his life matters, and he can't throw it away, because he's part of her. It's interesting that this leads to Cinder's lowest point in the series - weakened, presumed dead, without allies, her mask broken - which she doesn't recover from for a long time.

And then her animus protects her and stops her from taking the Maiden power through Penny. She's already got 'the' power, the Fall Maiden power, she doesn't need more; her masculine unconscious knows this, that she has enough already, and he sacrifices the ability she gave him, in the worst scenario possible, to not let it fall into her lap, and to give Penny what she asked of him that Ruby couldn't. In this case like... Ruby's dark reflection puts Jaune into a situation where he has to make a decision which Ruby will absolutely not approve of, which she rejected herself, which in itself will cause them to play out the same scenario as Rhodes and Cinder - Ruby is disillusioned with him the same way Cinder was disillusioned with Rhodes-the-Huntsman, which actually already had an awful reversal with Jaune and Pyrrha-the-Huntress (who leaves him behind and dies at Cinder's hands).

I want to add the caveat here that all the Jung stuff is just like... descriptive of how we talk about gender (and tbf I think Jung can be more forward-thinking than you believe; it's really interesting a lot of people think it's a novel interpretation that Paul occupies a nonbinary space in Dune, because a basic interpretation of the story that Paul has both feminine and masculine elements - he fully integrates his anima, his mother, through the awareness of the Water of Life - but also occupies a boundary outside of that, as both the one who gives and the one who takes), not really intending to be prescriptive about how people ought to be behave or how people ought to identify. Like, we know there are cultural ideas about what it is masculine and what is feminine, and what it means to have awareness of other men and women, which is an important idea in psychoanalysis, that first when you are a child you don't recognise the difference between male and female, then they grow into disparate ideas, but psychological growth is achieved through reuniting the masculine and the feminine. In a story like R/WBY this is actually something which occurs on a cosmic scale - from a Gnostic viewpoint, Salem is the fall of the Sophia - that the anima/animus of humanity is first whole then divided through Ozlem's union and then breaking of the world.

I'm not about to get into a whole Jung segue, the important part is that this is just storytelling language.

It's potent stuff, because you can see how all these characters are squared out - but then when you look at something like Blake and Yang, Yang is Blake's animus, so not even R/WBY feels particularly constrained by gender to explore these ideas. When Yang is traumatised and dismembered by Blake's persona, her false self (Adam), Blake has to flee, because she feels disempowered by the fact that what feels like a true part of herself has injured Yang. It's when she meets her Shadow (Ilia) and finally reconciles with her that she makes the choice to go back to Yang, because Ilia is really that dark suppressed part of her - someone who's stayed behind in the White Fang, who loves her unconditionally and without return and forgives her, who's not like Adam at all, and can help redeem the White Fang. I think it's pretty significant that once Yang accepts Blake again, this scary feminine part of herself (after being mother to Ruby, after her own mother fleeing, after finally finding Raven again and seeing who she truly is), that Yang can use her Semblance again - with clear vision, unclouded by anger - to protect Blake from the bull. And then you have that whole sequence with the bull sacrifice, and the sacred marriage - 'marriage and killing are related'.

I had wondered if the phases of anima/animus awareness were being literally explored, and maybe there are - maybe this explains the sequences of interaction, that at some point, say, Jaune will come to the highest understanding of Cinder as a complete person, but that feels pretty self-evident; it would make sense that something like that would happen anyway if they went in that romantic direction. What you'll also notice - if you haven't read my Jung posts before - that the twinned pairs I've explored here are mostly romantic, but I think there are some who aren't - most prominently Weiss-Whitley and Qrow-Raven - which is meaningful, probably because Qrow-Weiss are analogues of each other across team S.TRQ/R.WBY (Qrow-Weiss/Summer-Ruby are a duo; Blake-Raven/Yang-Tai are the other; there are other superficial parallels, and more specifically a Jungian parallel of Summer-Pyrrha, though).

The point of this post was just like... because I didn't want to hold back from thinking about it for once. I get a bit shy writing these posts, especially because I have so many reservations myself about how far to take all of this: from the perspective of writer, I would like this stuff to give me some foundation, but I wouldn't want to be backed into a corner either. I like how it adds a new flavour, and I like how it allows you to arrange the pieces on a board, and also how it gives you something to work with before you start stacking on the allusions and interacting with those elements people will recognise more immediately. This is all baser, fundamental stuff which undergirds the story, like the monomyth (which draws on psychoanalysis itself). I really like it, because I like thinking about where the characters are really going and where they think they're going. It's exciting to me that something so tragic, so terrible, so awful, which is the death of innocence in the story, or later the death of adolescence, is the promise of more story - of something beyond it. I guess that's why I like the broken moon or anything associated with Ozlem in this story - because in its brokenness is the promise of wholeness - I like that sense of playfulness.

More particularly to Jaune/Cinder there's just that extra flavour because they are necessary to each other without any conception of exactly how or exactly why, if anything they now view each other as absolute impediments to where they need to go. Which is really exciting. I love that. They don't know. Hahahaha.

[hamliet]

What does the death of the authour mean in different contexts? Isn't it still valid since y'know it's their work?

Authorial statements are somewhat valid if you're trying to predict where an unfinished work is gonna go, but otherwise, once a piece of art is out there, you cannot tell someone else how to interpret it. Sure, there's misreading, but there are also valid alternative interpretations, especially in literary works where the aim tends to be to provoke discussion rather than to give answers.

tl;dr I'll quote good ol' Dostoyevsky: “Don’t let us forget that the causes of human actions are usually immeasurably more complex and varied than our subsequent explanations of them.”

Substitute "human actions" with "human statements" and you'll get what I mean. Authorial intent is definitely a valid interpretation method. It's just not the only one.

In morality tales, which 99% of currently published, say, young adult fiction tends to be, DOTA is a lot harder because the aim tends to be to preach. In stories where that's not the case, multiple interpretations can be supported by the audience.

For example, and trigger warning--

In The Witcher, Sapkowski has indicated he likely did not intend to write Ciri's scenes with Mistle as nonconsensual, but instead dubcon/first time nerves. However, I'd argue those scenes, from the framing to the aftermath to the thematic implications of the Rats vs the Hansa, do depict an assault, and I'm far from alone in that interpretation (in fact, I'd say most fans agree with this).

Plus, Death of the Author honestly plays a role in dealing with writers who, er, have very public and very deep flaws. I don't have to remind myself of every horrible thing an author's ever done to during an attempt to glean meaning from their work. I acknowledge they have done or are doing horrific things. But I don't have to interpret every little detail through a lens of guilt or hyper-awareness of the problematic. Which is NOT the same thing as not acknowledging the problematic exists in-text, because I do, and would never tell someone not to focus on it. I just can't dwell on it in certain instances. Hilariously, I'd argue the larger picture is that Tolstoy's works indict him for his cruelty, and Rowling's HP series argues against spending life in a closet.

In other words, I don't have to read those books being like "damn, I'm stupid for not realizing what they really intended." I don't entirely care what they intended insofar as their works are concerned. I care what the work says far more than what they've said about their work; if they really had to clarify something, it should've been in the work in the first place.

[koskela-knights]

Shuffle your favorite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. Then copy/paste this ask to your favorite mutuals. ♥

<33 Thank you for the ask!!

Surprise (not), the Koskela playlist from my Spotify 😏

TLDR, the 5 songs are:

Heroes and Villains by PoTF

The Enemy by Andrew Belle

Achilles by GARETH FERNANDEZ

Crosses by José González

Don't Let Me Go by RAIGN

Now for a more detailed explanation on why all these songs are in my Koskela (and Huotari) list and what prominent lyrics/vibes make me think of them.

1. Heroes and Villains by Poets of the Fall

"We're heroes and villains by chance Heroes and villains by choice"

I think that sums up their role as Cult leaders. Villains to some, heroes to others even if many may not know/understand it. They chose to villainize themselves to keep their home safe.

2. The Enemy by Andrew Belle

This song was recommended after I added 'Pieces' by the same artist in this list.

"Don't try to follow me I would Hold you down if I could Make you the enemy I would Let you down"

idk, this part gives me Jaako & Ilmo vibes. Their relationship to each other, how they can be each other's downfall if not balanced out. (I think echo! Ilmo is an interesting case as what could become of Ilmo if he lost Jaakko much earlier)

"I hold you down I hold you down I hold you"

Then there's this part in the song. And what's interesting to me here, is that I can hear 'I hold you' as different things too. Either 'I hurt you' or 'I haunt you'. Which sums up the last scene of the brothers together. Getting Jaakko involved, made him end up dead (I know this is a really short-sighted observation, but I bet Ilmo feels super guilty about the Cult thing.) And 'I haunt you' is Ilmo post-Jaakko's death being haunted by his shadow and memories.

3. Achilles by GARETH FERNDANDEZ

"I want something I can touch Something I can feel I learnt that my pride is my Achilles heel And when my time is up You know my love was real"

This one's an Ilmo song to me now (used to only have it in my regular playlists lol) Again, set post-Jaakko's death where he's left with survivor's guilt and realizes that all his pride and prideful endeavors mean nothing when the most important person in his world is gone. Only after Jaakko's death, does he realize how much he loved him and how inseparable they were.

"Set me free angel from my nightmare I woke up in this hell too many times Maybe we were never meant to make it I take these words and set 'em on fire"

This line of "too many times" in particular also stood out to me becos it could imply the spiral and being aware of the spiral (self-promo right here: loop/spiral awareness is smth I've written some short drabbles/oneshots for in the past becos it's such intriguing concept)

4. Crosses by José González

"The streets outside your window over-flooded People staring. They know you've been broken Repeatedly reminded by the looks on their faces Ignore them tonight and you'll be alright We'll cast some light and you'll be alright"

Recommended to me by @zephyrone01 This is a Huotari brothers song. POV of Jaakoppi to Ilmari. This matches up with our "Ilmari was possessed by the DP and people in town got suspicious of him" idea.

5. Don't Let Me Go by RAIGN

"Carry me close like the tear drops in your eyes All I can give you is memories Carry them with you and I'll never leave

Don't let me go Hold me in your beating heart"

Another song recommended by Zephyrone01 hehe. It's a powerful song to me 👀 The Angst!!! This specific part would be a Jaakko POV "I won't let go Forever is not enough"

And this would be Ilmo's POV. Anyways, many songs in this playlist are about memories, echoes, darkness & light and moving on and not wanting to live without the other 💔

[bookwyrminspiration]

Sophie’s father is a human. It is only logical explanation for many of the things that happen in the series.

We are told time and time again that elves cannot feel guilt or see violence. It causes their minds to shatter and break. This is not a problem in the Elven world because it is very sterilized and uneventful. In the human world though, elves would suffer immensely. The violence on television and the day to day lives that humans live would cause them to feel overwhelming amounts of guilt. This makes me wonder how Sophie, who lived in the human world for twelve plus years, never experienced any type of guilt. She would have seen violence on television and read about it in school (she had skipped grades and would have learned about mature topics that could potentially break the mind of an elf). These types of things can cause extreme emotional reactions in human adults, much less an elf.

For guilt, Sophie would have done plenty of things that made her feel guilty. Taking something she was not meant to take, lying by omission, or just being mean because she was in a bad mood. The books said she was consistently in conflict with Amy. As a human, Amt might have been the one who was always creating problems, but after reading the books and seeing how Sophie treats people at times, I think there were moments where Sophie could have created conflicts too. Amy could have certainly been the aggressor at times, but there were moments where Sophie would have been. Things get even more convoluted when the inflicting scenario is considered. That would most certainly cause her to feel guilt, so that is why Forkle wiped it from her mind. However, once she was reminded, she moved on from it suspiciously quickly.

The only logical explanation for this is that Sophie is not fully human. She can experience small amounts of guilt due to her human heritage but she cannot experience overwhelming amounts of it. That would explain how she was able to live in the human world for a long time then never experience guilt.

The only flaw in my argument is that Sophie has never actually done anything that would make her feel guilty if she was never aware that she was hurting other people. If she chooses to be willfully ignorant of it or does not know the full scope of it, then she would never experience a mind break. In that case, Sophie would be an elf.

The only male human character we are introduced to is Sophie’s human father and the man in London. If he is a human, it is likely the latter.

Interesting! I've talked about this idea slightly before, but never as in depth as you've presented it. I do find the idea compelling, though there are aspects that don't quite mesh for me and I'm on the edge.

One other flaw I find with your argument is that Mr. Forkle did tell Sophie that she was 100% elf in book 2, so if we take him at his word there then she can't be half-human. However, he was in the middle of reassuring her she wasn't half-horse and isn't above lying, so there is that. Figured it was worth measuring.

Aside from that, I do find this theory intriguing. Sophie has felt strangely in the middle of two different worlds, reminding herself she never really belonged in the human world and telling herself the elven one, even as confusing as it can be to her, is where she belongs. Being half-human, she'd have the connection to her childhood that really gives her a place there, and I think it would offer comfort to know she did belong, even if not entirely. And it could also free her from the stressors of trying to find her place, knowing that there's never been anyone like her before so she can make her place, not try and find it, if that makes sense.

I've often wondered about guilt in the elven world, though. Alden's shattering was from a significant situation, breaking a mind and ruining lives when he wasn't sure it was worth it. But even that took over a decade to truly break him. So while Sophie has undoubtedly felt guilt before, given her mental fortitude I doubt instances like lying or being in a bad mood are enough to break her.

I wonder if the attitude towards guilt--"don't think about that!" "don't feel guilty!" "guilt is dangerous!"--makes it seem like guilt is more risky than it is simply because they don't actually know the limits and can't fix it, so they're super cautious about it just in case. Because elves have felt guilt without breaking, that's just how emotions work. So there's some boundary, some amount and some length of time, but they don't know it. So they're careful.

In that case, Sophie wouldn't have to be human or anything non-elf, as she hasn't been exposed to significant, prolonged guilt or violence that would break her. She could be on her way towards a break, but she has a strong mind, so it could be another decade or so before it really sets in. It's only been about two years since things really started getting violent and graphic, so if we use Alden as a measure, there's still time.

I do agree that if it is a human, it's probably Ethan. That would be more impactful than some other random human introduced, even if we aren'y very familiar with him.

Anyway, my point is that this theory is interesting and I wouldn't be upset if this is what turned out to be canon! There's a lot of potential here, though I do think it would need some explanation to make it truly work. Either way, thanks for sharing!

[immortalmsmoon]

My Sword

Slight Zenitsu x Fem!reader

Warnings: slight breathing technique spoiler for chapter 162, explanation of a wound, a little boring..i'm not very good at writing

Word count: 1171

The air whipped Y/n in the face, her hair blowing around her, grazing her jaw and neck. She stood on the straw roof of a house overlooking the village, as her eyes looked over the village. She stood as still as she could, urging her sense to find what she was looking for, forcing her breathing to stay as controlled as it was for just a little longer. The demon was there. She knew it. Or at least, that was what she had been told. She leaped from the roof, attempting to get closer to the small feeling she was holding on to, one buried deep within her. It felt like guilt; something that burned within her, like a fire, one that pulled her unconsciously towards her goal. It was a demon. It filled all of her senses, and made her feel like her breathing would get caught in her throat at any second. But she still couldn’t find it. Not for the life of her. Her sage green Haori flapped in the wind, her skirt following suit. She hated windy days. 

It had been 12 hours. She still hadn’t found it. She sent word to the upper ranking demon slayers, asking about the situation, and then offered to send backup. 

‘Little good that will do. I can’t find the demon!’ she thought to herself. This was all ridiculous. It wasn’t long before her backup showed up, however. In the form of 3 strange boys. 

“Hello…” she said hesitantly. They sure didn’t look like back up to her. Two of the boys greeted her, but the other, with a boar hat, mind you, seemed to be too distracted…with what, she couldn’t figure out. Their surroundings seemed pretty boring. She shook her head slightly before letting the boys in on the situation. They were to find the demon that lurked in the town, and had been kidnapping children in less than 7 hours; the situation had already dragged on long enough as it was. The only problem was that she couldnt find it. Anywhere. So the boys offered to help. 

One boy, with particularly bright hair used his extraordinary hearing to try and find it. No luck. 

One of the others, a particularly sweet one, used his nose to smell it. No dice. 

The last one tried to use his ability to feel them through spatial awareness. He didn’t sense a thing. At this point all of them were at a loss, so they called it a day, and went to get a couple rooms at an inn so they could regroup and figure out the situation. 

Once they had all settled the meeting began. 

“Hmm..perhaps a demon that can hide its scent?” proposed the red head, who had introduced himself as Tanjiro. 

“I'm not sure…that could be the case, but Zenitsu and Inosuke couldn’t find it either.” Y/n countered. They were at a complete loss. None of them had ever had to fight a demon like this, let alone find one. The more they talked, the more sleep called to them all, begging to take them over, filling their senses with the sticky feeling of being tired. It had been a long day of walking and searching for all of them. Soon they all gave in, separating to their designated rooms. 

Y/n stripped off her uniform, and bathed, scrubbing the day's dirt from her skin and hair. She then put on a night gown, one made of soft purple silk, the sleeves coming down to the middle of her upper arm. Just as she was about to settle into the warmth and plushness of her bed, she heard a bang. And a yelp. One that sounded just like the high pitched voice of Zenitsu. She sighed, standing up, heading towards their room. She swung the door open, hoping her annoyance was evident.

“Do you mind? It's late, and I think we all need sleep for-” her eyes swept over their room. The window was shattered. Zenitsu was sprawled out on the floor. Tanjiro was bleeding down his arm, staining his white nightshirt. Inosuke’s boar head was off, tossed in a random corner, his swords in hand. It took two seconds for Y/n to notice the demon. Two seconds too late. It rushed at her, claws longer than ones she had seen before. She ducked down, the demon's claws smashing into the wood of the door, and he tugged them out quickly. Y/n had already rolled away to Tanjiro’s side, Zenitsu’s nichirin blade in hand. Something about his sword sent a tingling feeling through her. That was something to think about later however. 

“Tanjiro, what the hell happened? Is your arm ok?” she said, quickly blocking the sharp claws of the demon. He spoke quickly, explaining that it had surprised them, shattering the window. As it was about to kill Zenitsu, Tanjiro stepped in the way, and attempted to block the attack, but he only managed to block some of it. Y/n fought quickly as Tanjiro recounted the story, and Y/n attempted to slice the demon's head many times, but Zenitsu’s sword was different from hers; something about the balance was off, it was much heavier than hers. Suddenly the demon swayed, and turned towards Zenitsu. Y'n rushed to his side, and blocked the Demon’s attack just in time to avoid Zenitsu’s death. She groaned as the demon’s claws sliced her upper chest, just short of the positioning of her heart. She was trying to avoid using a breathing technique so they wouldn’t cause any more damage to the already destroyed room, but that didn’t last long. Her basic use of the sword was too weak for the demon. She grit her teeth, taking control of her breath, as she prepared to end the fight once and for all.

‘Flower Breathing: Fourth Form! Crimson Hanagoromo!” swirls of pink and white flowers burst from around her and Zenitsu’s sword as she sent a single slash through the demon, killing him. As the demon finally fell, she let out a sigh of relief. At least they had finally found the demon. She turned to check on the trio of boys, all of them staring at her.

“What, never seen flower breathing before?” she giggled. She sat down beside Zenitsu, helping him sit up. She inspected him for wounds, hand fluttering over his chest. A blush spread on his face, and he could feel himself become lightheaded from the feeling. Y/n looked up to him just in time to see it, and she placed her hand against his forehead, then his cheeks. 

“Are you…sick? You seem fine..” she said, looking at him with curiosity. He shook his head quickly, yellow and orange strands of hair fluttering around his face like little butterflies. 

“It's-just…that-..well..” he stuttered, words sticking to his throat like glue. 

“Well what?” Hana asked curiously. Zenitsu brought his face closer to hers, blush intensifying, his voice a soft whisper. 

“Well…i think you looked amazing…fighting with my sword…”

Heyy :) this is my first post using Tumblr so I hope i did it right! if you like this feel free to check out my super cool Wattpad Simp_For_Anime_boys, not that i post much there lol. im pretty bad at consistency. if i spelt anything wrong, please ignore it, my grammar is terrible, and as you probably noticed i don't capitalize my "i"'s.

[hereforonce]

You mentioned his reasons for the absense throughout the show. What's your take on it?

» Oh I'd love to shine some more light on that matter! Though a little warning beforehand, since it goes with a quite controversial headcanon when it comes to the general fandom's opinion on certain members within the Scully family that are 'surprisingly' NOT Bill Jr.

The easiest explanation would be that he was busy with his job since both Scully men followed in their father's footsteps. But... and here comes my spin on his own backstory and my personal refusal to accept "he's been estranged" coming from Scully in S10E04 Home Again:

It all started in S3E02 Paper Clip when he was informed about his sister being shot and brought to the hospital. Much like Melissa in One Breath the season before, he was greeted by their mother and kept turns with Maggie on spending time at Missy's bedside since he had - in spite of the age difference - always been the closest to her during childhood. There's underlining tension between mother and son for a few years already due to a fallout between Charlie and Ahab when he moved out, which never got fully resolved and has no place within the hospital room from his perspective since Charlie is open enough to believe that Missy could feel it.

He eventually sends her home to get some actual rest after meeting Skinner, who informs him that he had found Maggie sleeping in a chair when the AD came by to talk about Dana's whereabouts. Tables turn when she gets back to the hospital and sees Charlie being present at the moment where Melissa's condition changes for the worst, as mentioned by Dana in the ending scene. Overwhelmed by the situation, Maggie initially overreacts and blames him for the sudden change. Basically exiles him in the heat of the moment, while Bill Jr tries to ease the waves and ends up bringing their mom home while Charlie stays behind with his own guilt.

The next time we hear from him is through a conversation Scully has with Mulder during their case in S4E02 Home, where she mentions having been babysitting her nephew watching the movie Babe. Since Bill Jr's son isn't born until the following Season, it can only be Charlie's, who in my portrayal of him shares custody of ONE SON ( instead of two sons which were seen and ignored for logical reasons* ) during the funeral scene in S1E13 Beyond the Sea. Which tells me, that he tried staying in touch with his remaining siblings.

Later the same season during a Deleted Scene in S4E14 Memento Mori he uses Bill Jr, to tell their sister he's there if she was feeling up for a phone call since he's well aware that their mother's most likely not leaving Dana's side since finding out about the cancer so he starts avoiding crossing paths with Maggie since the wounds from Missy's hospitalization are still fresh. Another personal reason comes into play for the youngest family member, aside from probably having been busy with work, to not come by in person. Since the memories of Melissa's death are still fresh and the Scully family rarely talks about feelings, Charlie still blames himself for the tragic condition change of his sister that day.

What doesn't change is that he still stays in contact with his siblings, since he gets another mention during S5E06 Christmas Carol. Sending Christmas gifts to his brother's new location in San Diego, apparently being kept informed about the relocation and Dana and mom being over at their place over the holidays by Bill Jr.

» Phew, this got longer than it sounded in my head so thank you if you kept reading up to this point. Congrats dearies!

Final thoughts: Given all that evidence, I personally don't see Charles being the one going estranged from family by himself but rather being forced to by circumstances over the later seasons up to the point that Scully doesn't even know where he is. Especially since it looks like to me, that even then he kept in close range with their older brother since he eventually gets him to call back and reach out to Dana after Maggie asked for him in S10E04 Home Again.

[nwr77]

Story of a Lady and her Home

Basically, while working on a completely unrelated project, I finally managed to come up with an explanation as to what exactly makes Sodor special, and it all comes down to Lady.

Lady is a goddess of locomotives, and she came to being in 1802, when Richard Trevithick built Coalbrookdale Locomotive - she is also the reason all locomotives are, well, how they are, with the faces and personalities. Although, at first her name was not Lady, but Jane, after Richard's wife. She did, however have the ability to turn between engine and human from the get go (and regardless of where she was, which is still true, for her and only her).

Young Jane was a friend to all engines, visiting them when they were born and seeing them regularly, but that changed in 1840 when she fell in love - and her feelings were reciprocated.

The lucky guy was Leopard, an LMR 0-4-2 freight engine, brother to Lion and Tiger. She started spending more and more time wherever he was and he always did his best to treat her like the goddess she is and a queen on top. Eventually, it became obvious to engines around them, and even some that only knew Jane; in this case we're talking about the Rocket, who possibly (definitely) had the highest EQ of early engines, and was the one to point out the possible solution to Jane's endless complaining about how they can't experience being in love to the fullest because Leo can't become a human and what not.

So, why can't she try to transform him? Theoretically, as a goddess, she should be able to do essentialy whatever she wants. And so she did... Kinda. She turned him into a humanish creature, that despite looking mostly like a regular person was still an engine at his core.

They ended up moving to Sodor (where there were no railways at the time) in Spring 1842 wearing the names Jane Taylor and Leopold Todd and got married in December the same year. And they were happy. They had a cordial relationship with other inhabitants of the island and their marriage was working out perfectly - that's also when Jane was first called Lady, as Leo called her that whenever given the chance (ex. introducing themselves to someone new, he'd say "This is my Lady, Jane"). They had mundane, human jobs, a house near the forest, and were favourite aunt and uncle of multiple kids. And, honestly, no one on Sodor was very phased by their unusual appearences (although they still made the effort to hide their wheels).

But, nothing good lasts forever. Because, as I said earlier, at the core Leopard was still an ordinary engine, that meant he couldn't just sustain himself like Jane did, and eventually time started catching up to him, the rust, lack of proper energy sources and any sort of maintenance making him unable to do more and more things until shutting his body completely - he might as well have been dead if not for retained ability to form thoughts and speak. Not long after reaching that condition, he asked to be turned back, fully aware that he most likely would be scrapped and effectively dead. And though it pained her greatly, she realized how selfish it would be to keep him like that ("Wasn't it already selfish that she took him away from friends and family so they'd have a life she dreamed of?"), so she obliged. But, first, she took him to the museum where Lion lived so he'd get to see her again and she'd get some closure as her brother was considered "the lost engine" for the past nearly forty years.

She waited, hidden, up until workers showed up, discovered Leo and took him away, and she ended up better for it, as she heard her husband tell Lion that he would not trade the life he had for anything, even the possibility of survival, so that lessend her guilt slightly.

And then, she effectively disappeared. She left the name Jane behind, and took to travelling the world, only letting herself be seen very occasionaly, maintaining a character of the mysterious Lady and never coming to Sodor - she didn't even know they built railways there - until she was truly desperate running from Diesel 10. She stayed, afterwards, because the island and now the railways, with the engines' ability... They were a reminder of what she lost, but also of what she loved. And for the most part they were pleasant reminders, even if she still sometimes saw the ghost of Leopard in places that used to be theirs. But she adjusted. She even got remarried in 2015, but that first love was what made and kept Sodor's magic alive.