#the ones who are still walking this path with svt i love you

[scarletwinterxx]

maybe maybe - jeon wonwoo imagine

hellooooo ~ i need to give myself a pat in the back for this bcs OH MY GOSH EVEN I WAS GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET WHILE WRITING THIS. the slooooow burn on this🫠 we love a nonchalant and oa combo (if u know u know)

also i was listening to maybe maybe by lola amour while writing this. give it a listen to get the maximum feels😅

for my other svt fics, check them here

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2025 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(pics not mine, credits to rightful owner)

You’ve liked Jeon Wonwoo for as long as you can remember. It’s not a fleeting crush or some shallow infatuation—it’s the kind of feeling that lingers, like a persistent shadow. He knows it; everyone does. But as much as your friends tease you about your obvious affection for him, Wonwoo has never acknowledged it.

Not once.

Wonwoo is the epitome of calm indifference. He’s polite, sure, but he never goes out of his way to engage with anyone outside of his tight-knit circle of friends, Vernon and Minghao. They’re always together, laughing at inside jokes and radiating an air of effortless cool that only makes him seem more unreachable.

And yet, you can’t help yourself. You’re drawn to him like a moth to a flame, even though he treats you no differently than anyone else.

Sometimes you wonder if he even notices the little things you do for him—the way you save him a seat in class when he’s running late, or how you always bring an extra drink to study group just in case he wants one. You tell yourself you’re just being nice, but Mimi, your best friend, sees right through you.

“This is ridiculous,” she tells you one afternoon, leaning back in her chair with an exasperated sigh.

The two of you are sitting outside on the campus lawn, the warm sunlight doing little to ease the frustration in her voice. “You’re bending over backward for a guy who can’t even spare you a second glance.”

“He’s not that bad,” you argue weakly, though even you know it’s a poor defense. Mimi raises an eyebrow, unimpressed.

“Not that bad? Y/N, he’s like a brick wall with glasses. Sure, he’s good-looking, but you can’t build a relationship on eye contact alone.”

“I’m not trying to build a relationship!” you protest, though your cheeks heat at the lie. “I just… I like being around him, that’s all.”

Mimi rolls her eyes. “You like torturing yourself, is what you mean. Honestly, if I didn’t know you better, I’d think you enjoy the challenge.”

Maybe she’s right. Maybe there’s a part of you that holds onto this unrequited crush because it’s safer than the alternative. If you never confess, you can never be rejected. And as much as Wonwoo’s aloofness stings, it’s still better than the thought of him outright telling you he doesn’t feel the same.

But then there are moments—rare, fleeting moments—when you catch a glimpse of something softer beneath his exterior. Like the time you lent him your notes for a class he missed, and he returned them with a quiet “Thanks” and a small, almost imperceptible smile. Or the way his eyes lingered on you for just a second longer than usual when you bumped into him at the library last week.

It’s those moments that keep you hanging on, no matter how much Mimi scolds you for it.

“You’re hopeless,” she says with a shake of her head. But there’s no real malice in her words, just the weary affection of someone who’s watched you pine for too long. “I swear, one day you’re going to look back on this and laugh.”

You doubt it, but you don’t say that out loud. Instead, you change the subject, steering the conversation toward something less painful.

Later that day, you find yourself crossing paths with Wonwoo outside the campus café. He’s with Vernon and Minghao, as usual, but when he sees you, he slows his pace, letting his friends walk ahead without him.

“Hey,” he says, his voice as steady and unreadable as ever.

“Hi,” you manage, your heart doing its usual somersault at the sight of him.

For a moment, you stand there, unsure of what to say. But before the silence can stretch too long, Wonwoo speaks again.

“Thanks for the notes,” he says simply.

It’s not much, just two words, but the sincerity in his tone catches you off guard. For once, it feels like he’s really looking at you, not just through you. And in that moment, you think that maybe, just maybe, there’s hope after all.

It’s a small step, but it’s enough to keep you going.

Mimi is relentless, as she always is when it comes to your love life—or lack thereof. She’s leaning against your desk chair in your dorm room, scrolling through her phone with a dramatic sigh.

“I’m telling you, Y/N, this guy is perfect for you. He’s into photography, loves indie films, and he’s even in your lit class. Plus, he doesn’t act like he’s living in a perpetual state of indifference.” She shoves her phone in your face, showing you a photo of a guy you vaguely recognize from class. He’s cute, objectively speaking, with a kind smile and a soft, approachable vibe.

But you shake your head before Mimi can even finish her pitch. “I’m not interested.”

Mimi groans, tossing her phone onto your bed. “Why do you do this to yourself? It’s not like you’re dating Wonwoo, or that he’s even trying to date you. You’re wasting your time on a guy who can’t even bother to hold a real conversation with you.”

Her words hit harder than she probably intended, and for a moment, you feel the weight of the truth behind them. She’s right—nothing about your feelings for Wonwoo makes sense. You know it’s a losing game, but every time you even consider the idea of moving on, it feels wrong. Like you’d be betraying something you’ve held onto for so long.

“It’s not that simple,” you say finally, your voice quieter than you intended.

Mimi softens at your tone, sinking onto the edge of your bed. “Then make it simple, Y/N. I get it—you like him. But you can’t keep doing this to yourself. You deserve someone who actually sees you.”

“I don’t know if I want someone else to see me,” you admit, the words tumbling out before you can stop them.

It’s frustrating—you’re frustrated with yourself.

Every time you see Wonwoo, it’s like all the logic and advice you’ve been given evaporates into thin air. All you see is him: the way his glasses slide down his nose when he’s reading, or the rare laugh that lights up his face when Vernon says something ridiculous. It’s like he’s carved a permanent space in your mind, and no matter how hard you try, you can’t make him leave.

Mimi looks at you like she’s trying to solve a puzzle. “You’re not even ready to like someone else, are you?”

You shake your head, a small, self-deprecating smile playing on your lips. “I don’t think so. It’s stupid, right? Holding onto feelings for someone who probably doesn’t even think about me.”

“It’s not stupid,” she says, surprising you. “It’s just… hard to watch. You’re one of the best people I know, Y/N, and it sucks to see you stuck on someone who doesn’t appreciate that.”

You’re about to respond when your phone buzzes on the desk. It’s a notification from the group chat for your literature project, and your heart skips a beat when you see Wonwoo’s name among the participants.

“Speak of the devil,” Mimi mutters when she notices your expression. She doesn’t need to ask who the message is from.

You open the chat to find a simple message from Wonwoo: I have some extra notes from class if anyone needs them. Just let me know.

It’s not directed at you specifically, but your heart still flutters at the thought of him offering to help. Mimi catches the way your lips twitch into a faint smile and groans dramatically, flopping back onto your bed.

“You’re hopeless,” she declares, though her tone is more resigned than annoyed.

You don’t argue with her this time. Maybe you are hopeless, but you’re not ready to give up just yet. Because even though it doesn’t make sense, even though it’s frustrating and irrational and probably a little pathetic, a part of you still believes there’s something worth holding onto.

The next day, you’re determined to take a small step forward.

Wonwoo’s message about the notes keeps replaying in your mind, like a sign you can’t ignore. It’s a flimsy excuse to talk to him, sure, but it’s enough to make you gather your courage and head toward the study hall where you know he likes to hang out.

You spot him right away, sitting at his usual corner table. His laptop is open, and a notebook lies beside it, his familiar neat handwriting filling the pages. But before you can take another step, you see her.

She’s sitting across from him, her dark hair tied back in a sleek ponytail. She’s gorgeous in a natural, effortless way that makes you want to disappear on the spot. And the way Wonwoo looks at her—it’s like someone punched you in the stomach. His smile is soft, easy, like he’s known her forever. He’s speaking to her with a comfort and warmth that he’s never shown you.

You freeze in place, your confidence evaporating in an instant. All the what-ifs and maybes that have kept you going suddenly feel childish and naive. You turn on your heel and leave before either of them can notice you.

The rest of the week feels like a blur. You don’t have the energy to pretend everything is fine, and Mimi is quick to notice.

“What’s wrong with you lately?” she asks on Thursday, her eyes narrowing in concern as she sits across from you in the campus café. “You’ve been moping around like someone stole your dog.”

You shrug, poking at your untouched sandwich. “It’s nothing.”

“Liar,” she says immediately. “Come on, spill.”

When you hesitate, she leans in closer, her voice softening. “Is it Wonwoo?”

The look on your face is answer enough.

Mimi lets out a groan, rubbing her temples. “Y/N, you’ve got to stop doing this to yourself. If he’s making you feel like this—”

“It’s not his fault,” you cut in quickly. “He doesn’t even know how I feel.”

“Exactly,” she says, exasperated. “You’re tearing yourself apart over a guy who doesn’t even know what he’s doing to you.”

You don’t respond, and Mimi sighs. After a moment of silence, she leans forward with a determined look in her eyes.

“Alright, that’s it. I’m not letting you mope around all weekend. There’s a party on Saturday, and you’re coming with me.”

You open your mouth to protest, but she holds up a hand to stop you.

“No excuses. You need a distraction, and I’m going to make sure you have fun whether you like it or not.”

True to her word, Saturday evening finds you standing in front of the mirror, dressed in an outfit Mimi picked out for you. It’s a little more daring than your usual style—an off-the-shoulder black dress that hugs your figure in all the right places—but Mimi insists it’s perfect.

“You look hot,” she declares, grinning as she adjusts the necklace around your neck. “Wonwoo who?”

You laugh despite yourself, though the sound feels hollow. Mimi doesn’t miss the way your smile falters, and she grabs your hands, forcing you to meet her gaze.

“Listen, Y/N. Tonight is about you. Forget about Wonwoo, forget about everything else, and just have fun. You deserve to feel good about yourself, okay?”

“Okay,” you murmur, even though you’re not sure you believe it.

But as Mimi drags you out the door and toward the party, you can’t help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, she’s right. Maybe it’s time to let go, even if just for one night.

The bass from the speakers reverberates through your chest the moment you step inside the party venue. It’s dimly lit, with neon lights flashing and a sea of people crowded around the dance floor and bar.

You feel out of place immediately, but Mimi, ever the extrovert, is in her element. She practically radiates confidence as she scans the room, her hand firmly gripping your wrist.

“This is going to be fun,” she says with a grin, already pulling you toward the bar.

“Mimi, wait—” you start to protest, but she’s not listening. Within moments, she’s ordering shots, her energy infectiously bold.

“Two tequila shots, please!” she calls out over the noise, turning to you with a mischievous sparkle in her eye. “Come on, Y/N. You said you’d let loose tonight!”

“I didn’t say I’d drink,” you mumble, eyeing the small glasses as they’re placed in front of you.

Mimi rolls her eyes. “One shot won’t kill you. It’s called liquid courage. You’ll thank me later.”

Before you can object again, she’s shoving one of the glasses into your hand. Everything feels like it’s happening too fast—the music, the lights, the crowd, and now this. You glance down at the clear liquid and then at Mimi, who’s already downed hers like a pro.

“Cheers to forgetting about all your worries!” she declares, clinking her empty glass against yours.

You sigh, realizing you have no way out, and tip the shot back. The alcohol burns as it goes down, and you cough slightly, grimacing at the taste. Mimi laughs and pats your back.

“There you go! See? That wasn’t so bad,” she says, already signaling for another round.

As Mimi orders more drinks, you glance around the room, trying to get your bearings.

You don’t notice the way heads turn in your direction, but Wonwoo does.

From his spot in the corner of the room, he’s watching you.

He’d seen you the moment you walked in, though he wasn’t the only one. It’s hard not to notice you tonight. You look stunning, completely different from your usual casual, understated style. The black dress you’re wearing accentuates your figure, and there’s a confidence in the way you carry yourself—even if you don’t feel it.

Vernon nudges him lightly, leaning in to murmur, “Isn’t that Y/N?”

Wonwoo doesn’t reply, his gaze fixed on you as you stand at the bar with Mimi. He’s used to seeing you in hoodies and jeans, always looking comfortable and approachable. But tonight, you’re turning heads left and right, and it’s clear you’re out of your element.

“She cleans up well,” Minghao comments casually, sipping his drink.

Wonwoo doesn’t respond, but his jaw tightens ever so slightly. He watches as Mimi drags you further into the chaos of the party, her energy pulling you along like a whirlwind. You seem hesitant, your eyes wide as you take in the unfamiliar environment, but there’s something endearing about it.

For a moment, Wonwoo feels a strange pang in his chest, though he can’t quite place it. Maybe it’s because he’s not used to seeing you like this, so far removed from the quiet kindness you usually exude. Or maybe it’s the way other people are looking at you—the guys whose eyes linger a little too long, the girls whispering behind their hands.

“Dude,” Vernon says, snapping him out of his thoughts. “You good?”

Wonwoo blinks, finally tearing his gaze away. “Yeah,” he mutters, though his voice lacks conviction.

But even as his friends return to their conversation, Wonwoo can’t help but glance back at you. There’s something about tonight that feels different, and for the first time in a long time, he wonders if he’s the one being left behind.

The alcohol was starting to buzz in your veins, making the room feel warmer and the noise more distant. Mimi was in her element, laughing and chatting with a group of students you vaguely recognized from campus. Somehow, you’d gotten swept up in their drinking games, and before you knew it, one shot had turned into two, then three.

Now, you were standing in a loose circle, your nerves on edge as you watched the current game unfold. Someone had explained it a moment ago: take the shot, then grab the lemon wedge held between another person’s lips. It was bold, far outside your comfort zone, but you didn’t want to be the odd one out.

“Your turn, Y/N!” someone called, handing you a small shot glass filled with tequila.

Your hands felt clammy as you accepted it, your heart pounding in your chest. You couldn’t even look at the person who was supposed to hold the lemon for you—your nerves wouldn’t let you. All you could think about was how awkward this was going to be, and how much you wished you could disappear into the floor.

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes briefly as you downed the shot in one go.

The burn of the alcohol hit first, followed by a rush of heat in your chest. When you opened your eyes and turned your head to face whoever had volunteered to hold the lemon, you froze.

Wonwoo didn’t expect it to happen so soon, but there you were, standing at the bar with a shot in hand, the challenge in your eyes as you glanced at the person next to you holding a lemon.

And then—before he even realized what he was doing—he found himself walking over.

You blinked, wondering if the tequila was playing tricks on you. But no—he was standing right in front of you, his hands gently cupping your face as if this was the most natural thing in the world. The room seemed to fall away, the noise and chaos fading into the background.

The lemon wedge was between his lips, his sharp gaze locked onto yours, and for a moment, you forgot how to breathe.

Your heart felt like it might burst out of your chest as he leaned in closer, his eyes never leaving yours. His touch was warm, steady, grounding you even as your mind spiraled.

Every nerve in your body was on high alert, the proximity making your head spin even more than the alcohol.

The way you looked at him when you saw him standing there, so close, made something stir in his chest. He was used to seeing you in passing, in casual greetings, but never like this.

Never with this... spark in your eyes, the nervous energy swirling between you two as if the whole room had faded into the background.

His hand found its way to your face without him thinking about it. It was like instinct, like he was meant to touch you, to make the moment real, to ground you in the present. He could feel your breath against his lips as he held the lemon between his teeth, his own heartbeat quickening as he leaned in. The closeness was intoxicating, and even though everything around you was chaotic, there was a stillness between you two—something unspoken that hummed in the air.

His lips brushed against yours, and for a split second, the world stopped moving. The taste of tequila, the sharpness of the lemon, it all blurred together, leaving just the feeling of your presence, warm and electric. It was over in an instant, but the memory lingered like an echo in his mind.

When he pulled away, he noticed the slight tremble in your breath, the flush creeping up your cheeks. His fingers lingered on your skin, just for a moment, before he let go and took a step back. He couldn’t tell if it was the alcohol or something else that made him act on impulse, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret it.

“Careful with those shots,” he said, his voice steady as he turned to leave, wanting to disappear into the crowd before he did something even more foolish.

And just like that, he was gone, disappearing back into the crowd.

You stood there, your heart racing and your mind spinning, wondering if what had just happened was real—or if it was just another tequila-induced dream.

The morning light is harsh, seeping through the blinds and hitting you like a freight train.

Your head pounds, your mouth is dry, and you feel like your body is made of lead. Every movement feels like a chore, and the only thing you want is to pull the covers over your head and pretend like the world doesn't exist.

But then you remember last night. Bits and pieces of the party flash through your foggy mind—Mimi dragging you into the chaos, the shots, the people... and then, the moment with Wonwoo.

You sit up, your stomach flipping at the thought of it.

What had happened? Was it real? Or just a tequila-fueled dream? Your heart sinks into your stomach as the hangover makes itself known in full force. You groan, leaning back against your pillow.

Mimi, ever the morning person, bursts into your room without knocking, as if she doesn’t notice the state you’re in.

“Morning!” she says brightly, a little too brightly, given your current condition. She’s holding a water bottle and some aspirin in her hand. “Here, drink this. You look like you’ve been hit by a truck.”

“Thanks,” you mutter, taking the bottle gratefully, but your eyes are still squinting against the harsh light. “Mimi... what happened last night? What... what did I do?”

Mimi plops down on the edge of your bed, clearly already recovered from whatever wildness the night had thrown her way. She grins, almost too smugly for your current state.

“Let me think,” she says, tapping her chin like she’s in deep contemplation. “Well, first you got a little tipsy, then you got a lot tipsy... You were a little shy at first, but after a few shots, you really started to loosen up!”

You wince, already imagining how embarrassing you must have been. “And…?”

“Then,” she continues, barely able to contain her laughter, “you and Wonwoo had a moment.”

You freeze, your heart skipping a beat. “Wait, what?”

“Oh yeah,” Mimi says, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “You two were definitely the talk of the night. You guys played that game, and then...” She pauses for dramatic effect, clearly enjoying every second of your discomfort. “...Well, let’s just say the lemon wedge wasn’t the only thing shared.”

Your brain stumbles over the words as the memory floods back. You and Wonwoo, so close, his hands on your face, the taste of tequila and lemon... And then the kiss, the soft brush of his lips against yours, lingering for just a heartbeat.

You feel your cheeks heat up, even as you cringe internally. “That wasn’t a kiss, was it?” you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Oh, it definitely was,” Mimi says with a teasing grin, clearly delighted by the reaction she’s getting from you. “A very brief one, but yeah. It happened.”

You bury your face in your hands, groaning in embarrassment. “Oh my god, I’m going to die.”

“No, no, no.” Mimi leans in, trying to comfort you—though her laughter is a little too apparent. “It wasn’t a big deal! You didn’t embarrass yourself too badly. Besides, from what I saw, he didn’t look like he minded.”

You look up at her, eyes wide. “What do you mean? Did he say anything?”

Mimi shrugs, her grin turning a little more thoughtful. “He didn’t say much”

Your heart skips a beat. You hadn’t even considered that. Did he... stay because he was just being polite? Or was there something else there?

"Did anything else happen after that?" you ask cautiously.

Mimi shakes her head. "No, you two went your separate ways pretty quickly after that. I mean, you were a little tipsy, so I didn't want to push you too much. But trust me, you're not imagining it. Something happened, even if you're too hungover to remember all the details.”

You lean back against the pillows, the weight of her words settling in your chest. Wonwoo. That moment. Had he really felt something too? Or was it just the alcohol making you think there was more to it than there actually was?

"Mimi..." you trail off, unsure how to even phrase your next question. "What do I do now?"

Mimi's expression softens slightly, though she still has that mischievous glint in her eye. "You let it play out. Don't overthink it. If something’s meant to happen, it will. If not, then at least you got a pretty wild story to tell."

You nod slowly, still unsure about everything. The hangover isn’t making things any easier, and your head feels like it’s full of unanswered questions.

But as you drink the water and swallow the aspirin she handed you, you can’t shake the feeling that this could be the beginning of something you’ve been waiting for. Even if you don’t have all the answers yet.

The next few days felt like an emotional rollercoaster, and you were stuck somewhere near the top, trying to keep your balance.

After last night’s chaos, you couldn’t bring yourself to face Wonwoo. You avoided him like the plague, keeping your distance whenever you saw him around campus. It wasn’t because you regretted what happened, but because... well, it felt like you were the only one who cared about it, and that made everything awkward.

Wonwoo didn’t say anything, didn’t acknowledge you or the kiss. He acted like it was nothing, like it was just some silly game, just like the other shots and the other people. But the longer you avoided him, the more you couldn’t shake the feeling that he was aware of it—aware of you. And that only made it worse.

His friends had caught on, too. Vernon had laughed it off, saying it was cute how you were avoiding Wonwoo. Minghao seemed amused. They didn’t think much of it, but you couldn’t ignore the tension that built up every time you crossed paths with them.

But it wasn’t just them noticing. Wonwoo was noticing too. You could feel his eyes on you whenever you went to class or sat in the library. His usual nonchalant demeanor didn’t give anything away, but there was something in the way he lingered a little longer, just enough to make you feel seen, even when you wanted to disappear.

Then, one afternoon, when you thought you were finally in the clear, it happened.

You were walking home, head down, lost in your thoughts as the weight of the last few days pressed heavily on your shoulders. You should’ve stayed in and avoided the outside world. But, no, you were out here, walking alone, hoping the fresh air would clear your head.

And then, you heard the familiar sound of an engine approaching. You looked up just in time to see Wonwoo’s car slowing beside you. Your heart skipped, and for a moment, everything inside you screamed to turn around and run. You were already panicking, your steps quickening, but before you could escape, the car came to a stop beside you.

Wonwoo rolled down the window, his expression as unreadable as ever, but his voice—his voice was what made you freeze.

“Y/N,” he called out, and your pulse quickened. You turn slowly to face him

"Hey, Wonwoo. Uh what's up?" you casually, trying to hide the fact that your face is burning because of him and not the cold winds

"Just got out of class, are you walking home?"

"Yea, on my way home too. Anyways, I better get going. See you... around" you wave goodbye and started to walk again.

You hear the car door open and steps behind you, "Are you avoiding me?" his question makes you stop on your tracks. Turning around to see him leaning against the passenger side of his car

“Uh... I... It’s just—” you stutter, and then you realize you can’t lie about it anymore. “It’s because of... the kiss.”

His face doesn’t shift, no surprise or confusion. He just looks at you, his dark eyes locking onto yours for a moment too long. And then, as if it’s nothing at all, he shrugs.

“It wasn’t even a kiss, Y/N,” he says coolly, as though it’s no big deal. “It was just... part of the game. Nothing to worry about.”

The words hit you like a bucket of ice water. You’re disappointed, though you try not to show it. You wanted something more. You wanted him to acknowledge the tension, the fact that there was something between you two, something real.

But of course, that was just how Wonwoo was—nonchalant, distant, and always acting like everything was just nothing.

You couldn’t help the slight sinking feeling in your chest. You forced a smile, but it didn’t quite reach your eyes. “Right. Of course,” you mutter, hoping your voice doesn’t betray the disappointment you feel.

For a moment, neither of you says anything. You feel awkward, standing there on the sidewalk, his car still idling beside you. But then he speaks again, his tone softening just slightly, though still with that signature aloofness.

“Get in. I’ll drive you home.” he opens the passenger door, waiting for you.

You hesitate. You should just say no, continue walking, put some distance between you. But you’re tired, emotionally drained, and there's something about his voice—something about the way he’s offering that makes it hard to refuse. You sigh, not knowing what to say but not wanting to make things worse. You step toward the car, sliding into the passenger seat without another word.

As he pulls away, the silence in the car is thick, and you can’t stop the thoughts that swirl in your head. You want to ask him, want to know if that kiss meant anything to him, or if he really did feel nothing about it.

But that’s just how Wonwoo was, wasn’t it? Always distant, always playing it cool, never letting anyone get too close.

The drive to your place feels like an eternity, but in the back of your mind, you know this silence between you two is only going to build the tension more. You just wish he would break it.

It wasn’t easy, but you were getting better at avoiding him. The subtle things you used to do for him—saving him a seat in the library, offering him drinks or homemade cookies—had all stopped. You still couldn’t bring yourself to fully confront your feelings for him, and honestly, it felt like the only way to protect yourself was to distance yourself from him as much as possible.

You told yourself it was for the best. You told yourself that the space you were creating would help you get over him. But no matter how hard you tried, no matter how much time passed, you couldn’t shake the feeling that he was always watching, always noticing.

And, of course, he noticed. Wonwoo wasn’t the type to wear his emotions on his sleeve, but he was observant, maybe more so than he let on. He noticed that you stopped going out of your way to be kind to him. He noticed the absence of the small, thoughtful gestures you used to offer. At first, he didn’t say anything, uncertain of what was going on, or whether he even had the right to ask you about it.

But eventually, he couldn’t take the silence anymore.

It was late in the afternoon when you were walking alone on campus, heading toward the library to meet up with Mimi. The cool breeze made your hair dance around your face, and the noise of the campus life seemed distant, as if you were in your own little bubble.

As you passed by the gym, you saw him. Wonwoo. He had just finished his workout, his gym bag slung over his shoulder, his T-shirt sticking to his body in that way it always did after a session. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of him, but you quickly turned your attention elsewhere, pretending you hadn’t seen him.

But he saw you. Of course, he did.

“Y/N,” Wonwoo called out, his voice cutting through the ambient noise, his footsteps quickening to match yours. You tried not to flinch as you heard him approaching, but your pulse was racing.

You stopped in your tracks, turning to face him, hoping your expression didn’t betray the nervousness bubbling up inside you. “Wonwoo?” you said, keeping your voice steady even though it felt like your heart was about to leap out of your chest.

He stopped in front of you, looking at you for a beat too long, like he was sizing you up. The look on his face was unreadable, but you could see the confusion in his eyes, the way his brows furrowed slightly as he took you in.

"Why did you stop?" he asked, and for a moment, you weren’t sure if you heard him correctly.

"Stop?" You repeated, confused by his question. What was he even talking about?

"Yeah," he continued, his voice casual, but there was something different in it now. Something that made you feel like you were under a microscope. "You stopped... saving me seats, or bringing me stuff. You used to do that all the time."

You didn’t know how to respond. A part of you wanted to lie, to say it was no big deal, that you were just too busy or distracted with school, but something in his eyes made you hesitate. The truth, the real reason you were avoiding him, was too complicated. You couldn’t say it outright.

“I just… I guess I’ve been busy,” you said quietly, avoiding his gaze. “Things just… changed, I guess.”

Wonwoo tilted his head slightly, as though trying to understand, but he didn’t push. There was no challenge in his voice, no annoyance. It was just curiosity, genuine and unassuming.

"Okay," he said after a beat, his eyes still locked on you. “I just thought you were mad at me or something.”

You felt a pang of guilt at his words, but you brushed it aside. “I’m not mad, Wonwoo. I’m just... I don’t know." You shook your head, unsure of how to explain your feelings without making things even more awkward. “I guess I just needed space.”

There was a pause, and then, for the first time in a while, he looked almost... vulnerable. "Space? For what?"

You swallowed hard, your throat dry. You could hear the underlying question in his voice, even if he wasn’t asking it directly. Why had you pulled away from him? Why had you stopped the small things that used to come so naturally?

Before you could say anything else, Wonwoo let out a small sigh, and though his expression was still unreadable, there was something softer in his tone. “Alright. I just wanted to know.”

Without waiting for you to respond, he turned to leave, his steps slow but purposeful. For a moment, you just stood there, watching him walk away, the weight of his question lingering in the air between you.

You couldn’t help but feel a sense of disappointment, though you weren’t sure what exactly you were disappointed in. Was it because he hadn’t pushed you to explain? Or was it because, deep down, you were still waiting for him to say something, anything, to make you feel like your feelings weren’t so one-sided after all?

But that was just how Wonwoo was, wasn’t it? Detached, distant, and never quite giving you the answers you needed.

And yet, even as you watched him disappear into the distance, a part of you couldn’t help but wonder—maybe he did want to know.

The cool breeze of the evening felt nice against your skin as you walked through the quiet neighborhood, sipping on your banana milk. The streets were relatively empty, the soft hum of the evening a welcome relief after a busy week. You didn’t have a particular destination in mind—just wanted to clear your head and enjoy the peace for a while.

As you walked past the familiar basketball court, you spotted a figure out of the corner of your eye. At first, you didn’t think much of it, but then the silhouette registered in your mind. It was Wonwoo.

You stopped in your tracks, unsure whether to approach him or just keep walking. He didn’t seem to notice you at first, too focused on dribbling the ball and taking shots at the hoop. The setting sun cast a warm glow over the court, and for a moment, you found yourself just watching him. There was something about his movements that seemed different, something tight in the way he played—like he was working through something that was bothering him.

Maybe it was the way his jaw was clenched or the way his shoulders were hunched. He looked almost frustrated, the usual nonchalance replaced by something more intense. You stood there, quietly sipping your drink, lost in thought as you watched him.

You were so absorbed in the moment that you didn’t see the ball coming toward you. It hit you squarely on the head before you could react.

"Ouch!" you exclaimed, wincing as you staggered back a step.

Wonwoo’s head snapped toward you immediately, his eyes wide with concern. He jogged over, his long legs covering the distance quickly.

"Are you okay?" he asked, voice laced with worry. He stood in front of you, his eyes scanning your face for any signs of injury.

You rubbed your head, trying to play it off as no big deal. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just wasn’t paying attention,” you muttered, but you could tell by the way Wonwoo was looking at you that he wasn’t convinced.

“Are you sure?” He reached up to gently touch the spot where the ball had hit you, his fingers lightly brushing the area. His touch was surprisingly soft, and you couldn’t help but feel a flutter in your chest despite the situation.

“Really, I’m fine,” you said quickly, pulling back slightly. The last thing you needed was to be caught up in another one of these awkward moments with him.

But before you could brush it off entirely, something in you gave way. The distance you’d been trying to maintain, the walls you’d carefully built to protect yourself—suddenly, it felt so fragile. Maybe it was the way Wonwoo was looking at you so intently, or maybe it was the fact that it had been days since you last spoke. Whatever it was, the words slipped out of your mouth before you could stop them.

"I just thought I was being too much," you murmured, your gaze dropping to the ground. "And it’s not like you liked it."

Wonwoo froze, his expression unreadable for a moment as he processed your words.

The air between you seemed to thicken, the awkwardness of the situation now mixed with something more vulnerable. You could feel your heart beating faster, the confession hanging in the air like a weight.

You regretted saying it the moment it left your lips, but it felt like the truth—no matter how painful it was. You didn’t want to keep putting yourself out there, offering him small gestures and favors if he wasn’t interested in them, or in you.

For a long moment, Wonwoo didn’t say anything. His gaze softened, and he seemed to be carefully considering his next words. It wasn’t the detached, nonchalant Wonwoo you were used to.

This time, he seemed almost... human.

"You’re not being too much," he said quietly, his voice lacking its usual coldness. He met your eyes, and for the first time in a while, you saw something different in his gaze—something that wasn’t easy to define. "And I didn’t think it was annoying or anything."

You weren’t sure if you believed him, but the sincerity in his voice made you hesitate. Was he really saying that? Did he mean it?

“I thought you wouldn’t want me to keep doing those things for you if you didn’t care.”

Wonwoo’s expression softened even more, and he let out a small sigh, rubbing the back of his neck in a gesture that was far more human than the usual composed Wonwoo you knew.

“You’re not being too much, and I guess I see why you think I didn't care. I never said I didn't” he says, this time with more conviction. “I just…” He trailed off, like he was searching for the right words. “I just didn’t know what to make of it. You were doing all these things, and I didn’t know how to react.”

There it was. The reason for his distance. The reason for his coldness. He hadn’t known how to handle your kindness. He hadn’t known what to do with the way you made him feel, and so he had kept his distance, just as you had.

“I’m sorry,” he added after a beat, looking slightly embarrassed, as though the admission was a little difficult for him.

You didn’t know what to say, your mind swirling with a mix of emotions. Had you really been wrong all along? Had he cared, but just not known how to show it?

You were so taken aback by his answer that your mind couldn't keep up. The words he had said, so simple, yet so unexpected, rattled your thoughts. I never said I didn’t care. Had you misread everything? Had all your attempts to keep your distance been for nothing?

"But then the kiss..."

"That was me being stupid, I should've apologized for invading your space like that and you look really bothered by it. I was being dumb"

"Well you did say it was just a game" you mumble

"Like I said, I was being dumb and I apologize" he shoots you a quick apologetic smile

Before you could process anything more, your face heated up with embarrassment. You felt suddenly shy, the weight of the conversation pressing down on you, making it harder to breathe.

“I—” you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper. You felt a nervous energy surge through you, a mix of confusion and the rush of emotions you were trying to keep hidden.

“I’m fine, really.” You managed to give him a small, flustered smile, hoping it would make him stop worrying about you.

But Wonwoo wasn’t convinced. He stepped a little closer, eyes scanning you with concern. “You don’t seem fine,” he said, his brow furrowing as he looked you over. “You sure you’re not concussed or something? You hit your head pretty hard.”

Your heart raced at the proximity, and you could feel the overwhelming urge to escape before you made a bigger fool of yourself. He was too close.

“No, really, I’m fine,” you said quickly, the words coming out in a rush as you took a step back. You were panicking, trying to make sense of everything, but all you wanted in that moment was to get away from him. To breathe. To process what had just happened.

Before you knew it, your feet were already moving, backing away from him at a faster pace. You didn’t even think about it—your body just reacted, the instinct to escape taking over.

“Y/N?” Wonwoo called after you, his voice filled with concern, but you couldn’t stop. You couldn’t deal with this right now. Not with him standing there, looking so sincere and worried, when you were still trying to understand everything that had just happened.

“I’m sorry, I really have to go!” you shouted over your shoulder, not daring to look back.

You could hear him calling your name again, but you didn’t stop. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you turned down the nearby street, running as fast as you could without looking back.

You kept running, trying to outrun the mess of emotions that swirled inside you. The awkwardness, the guilt, the confusion—it was all too much. And you couldn’t deal with it now.

As you finally slowed down, your breath coming in heavy gasps, you leaned against a nearby wall, closing your eyes as you tried to steady your heartbeat. You’d never done anything like that before—just ran away from a conversation like it was nothing. But in that moment, it felt like the only thing you could do.

What had just happened? Why did his words make you feel like everything inside you was unraveling?

You were doing well—at least, you thought you were.

For the past few days, you had managed to avoid any direct interaction with Wonwoo. You kept your distance, keeping your head down whenever he was around, avoiding his gaze, and hiding whenever you could. It was easier that way. You convinced yourself it was better this way.

But then, on this particular day, as you were gathering your things at the end of class, preparing to leave, you felt a tug on the hood of your jacket. You froze, instinctively jerking away from the sudden contact.

"Y/N," a calm voice spoke, and you looked up to find Wonwoo standing there, looking down at you with a slightly amused, yet nonchalant expression. He didn’t seem angry, just... observing.

You felt your heart skip a beat, and before you could stop yourself, your cheeks began to heat up. His gaze was steady, a little smirk pulling at the corner of his lips as if he was asking you, Are you really doing this?

You didn’t know how to respond. Every part of you wanted to turn away and just leave before things got any worse, but your feet felt rooted to the spot.

“I... I wasn’t... trying to hide,” you stammered, but your voice came out weaker than you’d intended.

Wonwoo raised an eyebrow, not saying anything at first. He didn’t need to. His gaze alone spoke volumes. He was just waiting for you to admit what was going on.

You shifted uncomfortably, biting your lower lip as you awkwardly tried to avoid his gaze. “I... didn’t know how to talk to you,” you finally admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “It’s been... confusing. And I thought... maybe it was better to just keep my distance.”

Wonwoo didn’t seem angry. In fact, the amused look on his face lingered, but there was something else there, something softer that you weren’t used to seeing from him. “You’ve been avoiding me for days now,” he said in that same calm tone, his voice unbothered. “But running away won’t make this go away, you know.”

You winced at his words, feeling the weight of them more than you wanted to admit. But you couldn’t deny that he was right. It wasn’t going to disappear just because you ran away from it.

“I... I don’t know what to say to you,” you confessed, feeling all your anxiety bubbling up again. “I don’t want to make things awkward. I just...”

“Just what?” Wonwoo asked, his expression unreadable now, his voice still quiet but insistent. “You think I won’t understand?”

You blinked, caught off guard by the question. “I don’t know if you will,” you murmured, trying to make sense of the whirlwind of emotions inside you. “I thought maybe... maybe it was easier to just pretend it didn’t matter.”

Wonwoo studied you for a moment, his gaze softening slightly. “You think it doesn’t matter?” he asked, his voice low, almost thoughtful. “You’re the one who’s been giving me things, doing things for me. It matters.”

You felt your heart beat faster, unsure of how to handle this newfound vulnerability in his voice. It was unlike him, and it was making everything even more complicated.

“I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” you said quietly, your hands still fidgeting with the sleeves of your jacket. “I thought... maybe I was just being annoying.”

Wonwoo let out a soft sigh, shaking his head as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. “Y/N... you weren’t being annoying. I just didn’t know how to respond to you, okay?” His voice softened further, a hint of frustration in it now, but not at you—at himself, maybe. "I didn't know what you wanted from me."

You stared at him, unsure what to say. His words were hitting you in a way you hadn’t expected, and the confusion that had been gnawing at you for so long started to ebb, replaced by a different kind of uncertainty.

“Why didn’t you just tell me that?” you asked, your voice trembling slightly.

He looked away for a moment, as if embarrassed by his own admission, but then his gaze returned to yours. “I didn’t know how to. It’s easier for me to just... not talk about these things." He paused, then gave you a small, almost hesitant smile. "But I’m trying, okay?”

The sincerity in his words made your chest ache, and you felt a weight lift off your shoulders, but at the same time, it was replaced by something new—something you weren’t sure you were ready for.

“So... what now?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, almost afraid of the answer.

Wonwoo stepped closer, a subtle movement that somehow felt like the most intimate thing. His expression was still calm, but there was a softness in it now that made your heart race. “Now, we talk. No more running away.”

You didn’t know what that would mean for you, for him, for whatever this was between you. But right now, it felt like you might finally be able to stop avoiding the truth.

You find yourself sitting across him at a diner outside campus. The booth was cozy, the dim lighting giving the place a warm, inviting atmosphere. But despite the warmth of the surroundings, you felt cold. The walls you’d carefully built around yourself seemed to be crumbling, and the closer you got to Wonwoo, the more vulnerable you felt.

You hadn’t said much since you’d arrived, your gaze bouncing around the diner, avoiding his eyes whenever they found yours.

Wonwoo, however, was watching you with quiet amusement, his gaze flickering between you and the menu in his hands. He could tell you were uncomfortable, restlessly fiddling with your hands, your eyes constantly darting away whenever he caught you looking at him.

"Hey," he finally said, his voice calm but carrying a teasing edge. "You seem a little... tense."

You bit your lip, unsure how to respond, but before you could say anything, you noticed your own body language—a slight fidget, your shoulders stiff, your legs crossed tightly. You shifted in your seat, trying to make yourself comfortable, but it wasn’t working. You couldn’t shake the feeling of his gaze on you.

“I... I just don’t like sitting across from people,” you admitted softly, your voice barely above a whisper, your gaze still averted. “It’s too much pressure, I guess.”

Wonwoo didn’t hesitate. Without saying a word, he slid out of the booth, shifting to the side next to you. The movement was casual, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and in that moment, you couldn’t help but feel a little lighter. He wasn’t judging you for your discomfort. Instead, he was meeting you halfway, making you feel... seen.

He settled beside you, his arm brushing against yours as he leaned back against the booth, a relaxed smile spreading across his face. He was so close now, and you felt a sudden rush of warmth flood your chest. Your heart skipped a beat, but this time, it wasn’t from nerves. It was from the unexpected comfort of his presence.

“Better?” he asked, his voice low and surprisingly gentle, his eyes scanning your face for any sign of unease.

You nodded, but this time, you didn’t shy away from meeting his gaze. The proximity made everything feel a little more real, a little more grounded. And, for the first time in what felt like forever, you didn’t feel the need to run away.

“Yeah,” you murmured, still a little flustered, but this time, the smile on your lips was more genuine, more relaxed. “This feels better.”

Wonwoo smirked, clearly pleased with your response, but there was a softness in his eyes that made your chest tighten. “Good,” he said, his voice quieter now. “I don’t want you feeling uncomfortable around me.”

“So…” You hesitated for a moment, still unsure of how to navigate this new dynamic between you. “What now?”

Wonwoo’s gaze softened, and he shrugged casually, though his eyes held a certain sincerity. “Now, we eat, and we talk. You don’t have to worry about running away anymore.” He paused, then added with a small smile, “And no more avoiding me, okay?”

You couldn’t help but smile, feeling a weight lift from your shoulders. This wasn’t going to be easy, but maybe, just maybe, you were ready to start figuring things out—with him, and with yourself.

You nodded slowly, the silence between you wasn’t exactly awkward, but it wasn’t easy, either. It felt like there were a thousand unspoken words hanging in the air, and neither of you knew how to address them.

Then, Wonwoo spoke, his voice calm and steady. “What’s your go-to drink order?”

You blinked, startled by the question. Out of all the things he could’ve asked, that wasn’t what you expected. “Uh…” You hesitated, glancing at him briefly before looking back down at your hands. “Probably... iced vanilla latte. Or banana milk,” you added with a nervous laugh, gesturing to the nearly empty carton in front of you, you pulled it out of your bag a few minutes ago.

Wonwoo nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I figured you liked banana milk. I see you drinking it a lot.”

Your cheeks heated up at his observation, and you ducked your head, suddenly very aware of how closely he paid attention to you. “Yeah, it’s kind of a comfort drink,” you admitted softly. “What about you?”

“Americano,” he replied easily. “No sugar.”

You scrunched your nose at that, and Wonwoo let out a soft chuckle at your reaction. “What?” he teased. “Not a fan of bitter drinks?”

“Not really,” you admitted, daring a quick glance at him before looking away again. “I like sweet things.”

Wonwoo tilted his head slightly, his gaze never leaving you. “What’s your favorite dessert?”

You bit your lip, trying to think. The way he was watching you so intently made your brain feel foggy, and it was hard to focus. “Probably... cheesecake,” you finally said. “Strawberry cheesecake.”

He hummed thoughtfully, as if filing that piece of information away. “Strawberry cheesecake,” he repeated, his voice soft. “Noted.”

“Why are you asking me this?” you blurted out before you could stop yourself.

Wonwoo shrugged, a small smile playing on his lips. “Just trying to get to know you better.”

That answer caught you off guard. You looked down at your lap, your hands twisting nervously. “But... why?”

He didn’t answer right away, and when you finally gathered the courage to look up at him, you found him watching you with a softness in his eyes that made your heart ache. “Because I want to,” he said simply, his voice quiet but certain.

Your breath caught in your throat, and you quickly looked away again, unable to handle the intensity of his gaze. Your cheeks felt like they were on fire, and you could hear your heartbeat pounding in your ears.

Wonwoo didn’t push you to say anything else. He let the silence settle again, but it didn’t feel as heavy this time. It felt... different. Like he was giving you space to process, to breathe.

And for the first time in a long time, you felt like maybe he wasn’t as far out of reach as you’d always thought.

It's suppose to be another normal day. You're in class, sitting next to MImi still feeling sleepy but then something slides infront of you.

You stared at the banana milk on your desk like it had suddenly sprouted wings. Slowly, you turned back to look at Wonwoo, who was casually flipping through his notebook like this was the most normal thing in the world.

Mimi, sitting to your right, nudged your arm, her expression a mix of confusion and barely-contained glee. “What’s going on?” she whispered, her eyes darting between you and Wonwoo like she was trying to piece together a crime scene.

“I have no idea,” you whispered back

You leaned slightly toward Wonwoo, lowering your voice as much as possible. “What are you doing?”

“Attending class,” he replied, not even looking up from his notebook. His tone was so calm, so casual, that for a moment you thought you’d imagined him moving seats altogether.

“Here?” you pressed, glancing over your shoulder again to see his friends Vernon and Minghao, who were both watching the two of you with poorly hidden smirks. Minghao even gave you a small wave, which only made you more flustered.

Wonwoo finally looked at you, his expression as neutral as ever. “Why not?”

Before you could respond, he nudged the banana milk closer to you. “You like this, right?”

You blinked down at the carton, your brain short-circuiting. “I... yeah, but—”

“Then drink it.” His tone was soft but firm, leaving no room for argument.

Beside you, Mimi’s jaw was practically on the floor. “Okay, what is going on here?” she hissed under her breath, leaning closer to you. “Did you bribe him? Threaten him? Sell your soul to some matchmaking demon?”

“I don’t know!” you whispered back, your voice frantic as you stared at the banana milk like it held all the answers to life’s mysteries.

Wonwoo, clearly aware of the hushed conversation happening beside him, leaned back in his chair and glanced at Mimi. “Is something wrong?” he asked, his calm demeanor never faltering.

Mimi froze, her eyes wide as she realized he was addressing her directly. “Uh, no? Nothing’s wrong,” she stammered, clearly trying to play it cool. “Just... curious, that’s all.”

Wonwoo nodded, satisfied with her answer, and turned his attention back to his notebook, leaving you and Mimi to exchange bewildered looks.

The rest of the class passed in a blur. You were hyper-aware of Wonwoo’s presence beside you, the subtle sound of him turning pages, the occasional shift in his seat, even the faint scent of his cologne. You couldn’t focus on the lecture to save your life, and every time you caught Mimi looking at you, she wiggled her eyebrows in a way that made you want to crawl under the desk.

When the class finally ended, you quickly packed up your things, eager to escape before your brain completely melted. But as you stood up, Wonwoo grabbed your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.

“Walk with me,” he said, his tone more of a statement than a question.

You glanced at Mimi, who was watching the scene unfold with wide eyes and a grin that was far too smug for your liking. “Go ahead,” she said, waving you off. “I’ll meet you later.”

Before you could argue, Wonwoo gently tugged your wrist, guiding you toward the door. You followed him, your heart racing as you wondered what on earth he was up to now.

You were half jogging to keep up with Wonwoo’s long strides, his hand still loosely wrapped around your wrist as he led you through the campus. It wasn’t like he was walking that fast—it was just that his legs were ridiculously long compared to yours.

Your steps were hurried, almost clumsy, as you tried to keep up. “Wonwoo,” you huffed, glancing at his back, “can you slow down? Not all of us have tree trunks for legs, you know.”

He glanced back at you, an amused smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “We’ll be late if I slow down,” he said simply, but his pace did ease up slightly.

It was almost cute—too cute, honestly. The height difference, the way you had to trudge along behind him like a kid trying to keep up. And then there was him: calm, composed, and acting like dragging you to your next class was just a normal, everyday occurrence.

By the time you reached the door of your classroom, you were slightly out of breath. Wonwoo, of course, looked as unbothered as ever. He gently let go of your wrist and gestured for you to go in.

“Go,” he said, his tone soft but firm.

You blinked up at him, confused. “Wait, where are you going?”

“To my class,” he replied, as though it was obvious.

You frowned, gesturing vaguely in the direction you had just come from. “Your class isn’t here?”

“Nope,” he said, already turning on his heel to walk away. “It’s on the other side of campus.”

You stared at him, your jaw dropping. “The opposite side?”

He paused, glancing over his shoulder to meet your incredulous gaze. “Yeah,” he said nonchalantly.

“Then why did you—” You cut yourself off, not even sure how to finish the sentence.

Wonwoo just shrugged, his expression unreadable. “Felt like walking you,” he said simply, as though it was no big deal.

And then, without another word, he turned and walked away, leaving you standing at the door of your classroom, completely flustered and at a loss for words.

What is he doing to me? you thought, burying your face in your hands. Whatever game Wonwoo was playing, it was definitely working.

This new routine had become so normal that you almost stopped questioning it—not that you were any less flustered every time Wonwoo waited for you after class or walked you across campus. It was just easier to let it happen, even if your heart constantly felt like it was doing somersaults. Mimi teased you endlessly about it, of course, but you’d stopped trying to defend yourself. What could you even say?

One afternoon, just as class was ending, Wonwoo approached you while you were packing up your things. You were expecting him to grab his bag and lead you out of the room like usual, but instead, he hesitated.

“I have something to do after class today,” he said, his voice soft yet direct, his hands casually shoved into his pockets. “I can’t drive you home.”

You blinked up at him, surprised. “Oh, that’s okay. I can just—”

“Wait,” he interrupted, giving you a look that made you freeze. “Are you going to walk home alone?”

You faltered, unsure how to answer. “I mean, it’s not that far...”

He frowned at that, clearly not liking your response. “I don’t like the idea of you walking home alone.”

Your heart did a little flip at his words, but you quickly brushed it off, waving your hand dismissively. “It’s really fine, Wonwoo. I’ve walked home alone before.”

“Not anymore,” he said firmly, pulling out his phone.

You raised an eyebrow as he started dialing, wondering what on earth he was doing. “What are you—”

“Hey,” he said into the phone, cutting you off. “Where are you right now? Can you drive someone home for me?”

You stared at him, dumbfounded. Was he really calling someone just to make sure you didn’t walk home alone?

A few moments later, he hung up and turned back to you. “Vernon and Minghao are nearby. They’ll drive you home.”

“Wait, what?” you asked, your voice rising slightly in disbelief. “Wonwoo, you don’t have to—”

“I already did,” he said simply, grabbing his bag. “They’ll meet you outside in five minutes. Just wait for them, okay?”

You opened your mouth to protest, but the look he gave you stopped you in your tracks. It wasn’t stern, exactly, but it was... serious. Protective. Like he genuinely wouldn’t forgive himself if something happened to you.

You sighed, realizing there was no point in arguing. “Fine,” you mumbled, avoiding his gaze.

He softened at that, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Good. I’ll text you later.”

And with that, he was gone, leaving you standing there with your heart racing and your mind reeling.

When you made your way outside, Vernon and Minghao were waiting by Vernon’s car, both of them looking far too amused for your liking.

“So,” Vernon said, leaning casually against the hood of the car, “you’re the one Wonwoo’s been babying lately.”

You groaned, covering your face with your hands. “Can we not talk about this?”

Minghao chuckled, opening the passenger door for you. “Don’t worry, we won’t tease you too much. Wonwoo’s been... different lately, though. It’s kind of interesting to watch.”

“Different how?” you asked, sliding into the car and buckling your seatbelt.

Vernon smirked as he started the engine. “Let’s just say you bring out a side of him we didn’t know existed.”

You couldn’t decide if that made you feel flattered or even more flustered. Either way, as they drove you home, you couldn’t stop thinking about the lengths Wonwoo had gone to just to make sure you were safe. And even though it was embarrassing, a small, shy smile found its way to your lips.

Later that night, just as you were about to settle into bed, your phone buzzed with an incoming call. You blinked at the screen, momentarily stunned when you saw the name.

Wonwoo.

Your heart immediately started racing. He had texted you before, sure, but calling? This was new. Hesitantly, you picked up, bringing the phone to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Hey.” His voice was deep and smooth, laced with a certain warmth that made you grip your phone a little tighter. “Did you get home okay?”

You felt your lips twitch into a smile despite yourself. “Yeah, Vernon and Minghao dropped me off. You really didn’t have to go that far, you know.”

“I did,” he said simply. “I told you, I don’t like you walking alone.”

There was something about the way he said it—calm, steady, certain—that made your chest feel warm. You bit your lip, trying to ignore the giddy feeling bubbling inside you.

Instead, you changed the subject. “How was your thing after class? You never said what it was.”

“Just something for a group project,” he answered. “It took longer than I expected.”

You hummed in understanding. “That sucks.”

He let out a quiet chuckle. “Yeah. Anyway, how was your day?”

At that, you perked up, launching into a detailed retelling of everything that had happened since class. You told him about Mimi’s latest antics, how she nearly got into an argument with a professor because she was convinced she turned in her assignment when she actually hadn’t. You talked about how Vernon and Minghao teased you the whole car ride home, about the new café you wanted to try, and even the silly little things that made you laugh that day.

Somewhere along the way, you noticed he had gone quiet.

“Wonwoo?” you called, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “Are you still there?”

There was a pause, then his voice came through the speaker—soft, almost gentle.

“Go on, I’m listening.”

Your breath caught in your throat.

There was something different about the way he said it. He wasn’t just saying it to fill the silence. He meant it. He liked listening to you.

You felt heat rush to your cheeks, but you pushed forward, finishing your story despite how shy you suddenly felt.

When you finally ran out of things to say, he let out a contented hum. “You should get some rest,” he murmured. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Your heart melted at how soft his voice was. “Okay,” you said quietly.

“Goodnight,” he added, and you swore you could hear the smallest smile in his voice.

“Goodnight, Wonwoo.”

The call ended, and for a moment, you just sat there, staring at your phone. Then, all at once, the emotions hit you like a tidal wave.

You let out a loud groan, grabbed your pillow, and screamed into it.

“What are you doing to me, Jeon Wonwoo?!”

Your pillow, of course, had no answers. But one thing was clear—you were so doomed.

It's a few weeks later, you're at the cafe you frequently hang out when you have free time. The usual, you're on your yapping mode while Wonwoo listens. But then you said something you didn't mean to tell him.

The moment the words left your mouth, you froze.

You hadn’t meant to say it out loud. It was just one of those things you only ever admitted to Mimi—how you were so confused about what was going on between you and Wonwoo.

But now, you had just said it. Right in front of him.

Your heart stopped.

Slowly, hesitantly, you turned to look at him.

Wonwoo was already staring at you, that small, amused smile still lingering on his lips—but his eyes held something else. Something unreadable.

For the first time, he didn’t respond immediately. He didn’t tease you, didn’t brush it off. He just watched you, as if he was carefully thinking about what to say.

You scrambled to fix it. “I-I mean—” you let out a nervous laugh, waving your hands. “Forget I said that! It was just, um, something stupid I told Mimi—”

Wonwoo tilted his head, his gaze still locked on you. “You’re confused?” he asked, his voice calm.

You swallowed. “I mean... yeah?”

Silence.

The tension was unbearable. Your heart was practically screaming in your chest.

Finally, he leaned back, eyes flickering to the coffee in front of him. Then, after a long pause, he spoke again.

“What do you want us to be?”

Your breath hitched.

You stared at him, unsure if you heard him correctly. Your mind raced, completely unprepared for the question.

“I—” you fumbled, gripping the edge of your sleeves. “I don’t know...”

Another pause. Then, he let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head. “Liar.”

Your head snapped up. “Excuse me?!”

Wonwoo met your gaze again, eyes knowing, almost too knowing. He didn’t look mad. If anything, he looked fond—like he had already figured out the answer before you even realized it yourself.

Your face burned. “I’m not lying—”

“You’ve liked me for a long time.” His voice was so casual, so matter-of-fact, that it left you speechless.

Your entire body tensed.

Oh my god.

He knew.

Of course, he knew.

Everyone knew. You knew he knew. But hearing him say it so bluntly, with no hesitation—it made your stomach flip.

You wanted to disappear.

“I—” You swallowed hard, looking anywhere but at him. “Okay, so maybe that’s true, but—”

“But?” He was still watching you, waiting.

“But I don’t know what you want.” The words came out smaller than you intended, but they were honest. “You... you’re always around now, Wonwoo. You drive me home, you wait for me after class, you listen to me ramble all the time. I just—” You bit your lip. “I don’t know what that means to you.”

Another silence.

Wonwoo didn’t answer right away.

Instead, he reached for his coffee, taking a slow sip. Then, with the same infuriatingly calm expression, he set it back down, resting his chin against his palm as he gazed at you.

And then—

“Isn’t it obvious?”

Your breath caught in your throat.

Your hands clenched under the table, heart pounding in your ears. You knew what he was implying, you felt what he was saying without words, but you still couldn’t believe it.

And Wonwoo—knowing you so well—could see that.

So, he leaned in slightly, his voice quieter this time.

“I wouldn’t do all of this if you weren’t special to me.”

Your brain short-circuited.

You felt like your heart had stopped entirely, like you had forgotten how to breathe.

Jeon Wonwoo—who had spent years acting nonchalant toward you—was now sitting here, looking at you like you were the only thing that mattered.

You didn’t know what to say.

So, naturally, you panicked.

“I—um—I need to go to the bathroom!” you blurted out, shoving your chair back as you stood up abruptly.

Wonwoo blinked, a bit startled, before letting out a soft chuckle. “You’re running away?”

“I am not running away!”

“You’re literally running away.”

“I need to pee!” you lied, voice high-pitched as you quickly turned toward the restroom.

Behind you, you heard Wonwoo laugh—actually laugh—before calling out, “I’ll be here when you get back.”

You groaned, covering your face as you rushed away.

This was too much.

Jeon Wonwoo was too much.

When you finally gathered the courage to come back, your heart was still hammering in your chest. You had taken extra minutes in the restroom just to stare at yourself in the mirror, mentally screaming and trying to convince yourself to act normal.

Except—how could you act normal after what just happened?

You cautiously made your way back to the booth, and there he was—Wonwoo, sitting comfortably with one arm draped over the back of the seat, sipping his drink as if he hadn't just dropped that bomb on you.

And then, when he noticed you, his lips curled into that teasing smile.

“You good?” he asked, his voice laced with amusement. “Took you a while.”

Your face heated.

“I had to—um, you know—actually pee.” You sat down stiffly, eyes fixed on the table.

“Uh-huh.” He didn’t look convinced at all.

You fidgeted, not knowing what to say. Now that you knew he felt something for you, you had no idea how to act around him. You weren’t prepared for this. You had spent so long assuming your feelings were one-sided that the moment he admitted otherwise, your brain completely shut down.

And Wonwoo—of course—noticed.

He watched you with that quiet amusement, letting the silence stretch between you. Then, after a beat, he spoke again.

“Are you still confused?”

Your breath caught.

You looked up at him—finally meeting his gaze—and you regretted it immediately because he was already staring at you.

His dark eyes, calm and steady, held a kind of certainty that made your stomach flip.

“I—” You swallowed. “I don’t know.”

Wonwoo hummed thoughtfully, tilting his head slightly. “I see.”

You thought that would be the end of it, that he would back off and give you time to process—but no.

Instead, he leaned in.

Not dramatically, not forcefully. Just enough that you could feel the warmth of his presence, enough that your breath hitched and your hands curled into fists in your lap.

Then, in a voice so quiet that it sent a shiver down your spine, he whispered,

“Then tell me…”

His eyes flickered to your lips before locking back onto yours.

“What do you want me to be?”

Your brain short-circuited.

Your body went completely still.

The weight of the question—the meaning behind it—hit you all at once, and suddenly, everything felt too real.

Wonwoo was still watching you, waiting, his face unfairly close to yours. He wasn’t teasing anymore. He wasn’t joking. He was giving you the choice—asking you to decide what this was between you.

And you…

You had no idea how to answer.

Because for the first time ever—

You realized that your silly little crush wasn’t so one-sided after all.

Your heart pounded so loudly in your chest that you were sure he could hear it.

What did you want him to be?

For so long, you had thought the answer was simple—you wanted him, you always had. But now that he was actually asking you, the words caught in your throat.

You were frozen, caught between the overwhelming weight of your long-time feelings and the terrifying reality of facing them head-on.

Wonwoo didn’t move. He was still leaning close, his dark eyes fixed on yours, waiting patiently. He wasn’t rushing you, wasn’t pushing you to answer, but that only made it worse.

You wanted to say something, anything, but all that came out was a small, breathless,

“I—”

And then you panicked.

Your body moved before your brain could catch up—you quickly grabbed your drink and took the biggest gulp imaginable, as if that would somehow wash away the moment.

It didn’t.

Instead, Wonwoo let out a quiet chuckle, finally leaning back, giving you space.

“You’re cute when you panic.”

You almost choked.

“I’m not panicking,” you sputtered, setting your drink down with a little too much force.

His lips twitched, clearly not believing you. “So, what’s your answer?”

“I—” You exhaled, gripping the hem of your shirt. “This is a lot, okay? You just—you never made it seem like you liked me before, and now you’re—” You gestured vaguely at him. “—doing all this and it’s messing with my brain.”

Wonwoo tilted his head, looking at you with quiet curiosity. “I never made it seem like I liked you?”

You gave him a look.

He hummed, gaze flickering downward for a split second before meeting your eyes again. “That’s not true.”

Your brows furrowed. “What?”

“I just… don’t show it the way you do.” He said it so casually, so matter-of-fact, as if it was something you should’ve known all along.

You stared at him, your brain struggling to process his words.

And then, as if to prove his point, Wonwoo reached out—his fingers brushing against yours for a fleeting moment before he grabbed your wrist, gently pulling your hand closer to him.

Your breath hitched.

“Do you really think I would’ve let just anyone take care of me the way you did?” His voice was lower now, softer, as his thumb absentmindedly traced slow circles against the back of your hand. “I noticed, you know. Every time you saved me a seat, every time you gave me something without expecting anything in return.”

You swallowed thickly.

Wonwoo glanced down at your intertwined hands, as if realizing he was still holding you. But instead of letting go, he gave your fingers a small, almost hesitant squeeze.

“I didn’t ignore it because I didn’t care,” he admitted. “I just… didn’t know how to respond.”

The confession made something in your chest tighten.

Wonwoo had always been unreadable to you—his quiet, nonchalant demeanor making it impossible to tell what he was thinking. But now, sitting here with him, listening to him actually talk about his feelings, you realized that he wasn’t cold at all. He was just careful.

He let out a quiet sigh. “But when you stopped…” His grip on your hand tightened slightly. “I didn’t like that.”

You blinked. “You didn’t?”

He shook his head. “No.”

It was such a simple response, yet it made your heart race all over again.

There was a small beat of silence before he spoke again, quieter this time.

“I missed you.”

Your chest ached.

All this time, you had thought your feelings were a burden to him—that he barely noticed you, let alone missed you. But here he was, telling you otherwise, proving you wrong in the gentlest way possible.

Your fingers curled around his, gripping back.

“…I missed you too.”

Wonwoo smiled, the kind of small, rare smile that made your stomach flip.

“So,” he murmured, his voice laced with amusement, “are you still confused?”

You hesitated, heat creeping up your neck. “…Maybe.”

He chuckled. “Then should I make it clearer?”

You sucked in a breath when he leaned in again, just close enough that you could see the soft curve of his lips, the warmth in his eyes.

His gaze flickered to your mouth, then back to your eyes.

“What do you want me to be?” he asked again, voice barely above a whisper.

"Do I have to answer now?"

Wonwoo just smiled at your question. That soft, knowing kind of smile that made your stomach do flips.

“Take your time,” he said simply, "You waited for me, without expecting anything. It's my turn now" he tells you.

You could barely meet his eyes, your fingers twitching against his. “I just—this is a lot, okay?”

“I know.” His thumb brushed over your knuckles in a soothing motion. “That’s why I’m letting you decide.”

That didn’t help at all.

You groaned internally, dropping your forehead onto the table in defeat. “You’re making this so much worse, Jeon Wonwoo.”

He chuckled, and you could feel his amusement. “Am I?”

“Yes.”

“You’re the one blushing like crazy.”

“Shut up.”

He laughed again, and you hated how much you loved the sound.

After a moment, you hesitantly lifted your head, still unable to look at him directly. “…So, you’re not gonna, like, be weird about this?”

“Nope.”

“You’re not gonna pressure me?”

“No.”

“You’re just gonna… wait?”

Wonwoo leaned back against the booth, his hand still comfortably wrapped around yours. “As long as you need me to, as long as you want me here”

Your breath hitched.

Oh.

You bit your lip, feeling your heart squeeze at his words.

“…Okay,” you mumbled.

“Okay?”

You nodded shyly, finally—finally—glancing up at him. “I’ll think about it.”

His lips twitched, amused. “Good.”

And then, like it was the easiest thing in the world, Wonwoo lifted your hand to his lips and pressed the lightest, softest kiss against your knuckles.

Your brain completely shut down.

“You—” You squeaked, yanking your hand back as if you had just been electrocuted.

Wonwoo just smirked.

“Take your time,” he repeated, looking way too satisfied with himself. “I’ll wait.”

And you knew—you knew—that no matter how much you tried to think about it, your heart had already decided.

[gotta-winwin]

(🎄) ... mirth and good cheer - xmas special

⭐ starring: vernon

🎄preview: vernon used to fly back to new york every christmas for one reason only: his childhood best friend. christmas used to be his and y/n’s thing, until he got seemingly too busy to ever return. now, as y/n departs to korea for the first time, she can’t help but wonder if her and vernon would ever cross paths again. vernon, unbeknownst to her, has been wondering the exact same thing. as the boys set up their christmas tree in their dorm, he does his best to ignore how hints of y/n still seemed to linger throughout the holiday air. 

tw/cw: idol!vernon x nonidol!reader, childhood friends to lovers, estranged friends, slight miscommunication, fluff, slight angst, best christmas romcom vibes, features svt members, stubborn!reader, equallystubborn!vernon, use of y/n, flips between past and present day

☁️ masterlist & a/n: dropping a vernon x reader fic for our xmas special! doesn't vernon just scream childhood bestie to lover (੭˃ᴗ˂)੭ merry christmas my loves!

11 DAYS FROM CHRISTMAS 2024:

“That’s not how it’s supposed to work.” Mingyu slapped Vernon’s hand away from the tree they were decorating. “It’s supposed to be symmetrical, not whatever you’re doing.”

Vernon had to admit he wasn’t really paying attention. Their dorm auntie, the one who came around once a week to clean up the place, had baked them gingerbread men as a Christmas gift, and the smell felt like it had seeped into the walls of their dorm. It was a nostalgic smell, one that took him back to his childhood, new york and-

“Vernon?” Mingyu waved a hand in front of his face. “Are you even listening right now?”

He blinked, brought back from his thoughts. “Sorry, hyung. What?”

Mingyu could only let out a deep sigh, moving to place the bauble where he intended it to be. “You’re like this every Christmas. If you miss her so much, why don’t you just fly back?”

Vernon didn’t really know why he wasn’t flying back. He certainly could be, they were off work for the holidays and a plane ticket back wasn’t hard to find. He would be doing himself a favor, putting himself out of misery and finally seeing his childhood best friend. The thing was, he wasn’t really sure if Y/N wanted to see him. He shrugged. “I don’t miss her.” It was a lie and everyone in the room knew it. 

CHRISTMAS DAY 2003: 

Everyone who knew either of them would say they were smart kids for their age. Both only five, they whispered secrets to each other like little middle schoolers would on the playground. 

“My parents say I’m going to Korea.” Vernon whispered to Y/N as they watched a christmas movie. “Forever.” Vernon always had a dramatic, theatrical side to him, even as a child.

Y/N could only frown. “Forever? Why?” She couldn’t imagine her best friend moving anywhere without her. “Am I going too?” 

Vernon mirrored her frown on his own face. “I don’t know.” Sensing her sadness, he reached over and gave her a hug. “I’ll visit every year.” He promised. 

“Every christmas.” Y/N insisted. She had always loved christmas above all else. “So we can watch movies again.”

Vernon agreed. “Okay. Every christmas. It’ll be like-” He paused, his young mind searching for the word. “Tradition.” He smiled at her, proud of the big word. 

“Promise?” Y/N stared at him with wide eyes, reaching out with her pinky, extended. “Pinky promise me.” 

Vernon grasped her pinky with his, shaking it firmly. He felt like a grown up, making one of those important business deals. “I promise.” Turning back to the screen, he let out a whine when he realized they had missed the best part. “We missed the part where the grinch screams down the mountain.” He complained. “I wanted to watch that part.”

Y/N got up, searching for the remote. “I’ll turn it back.” 

Their dynamic never changed, even as they grew older. Vernon walked through life, Y/N following behind him with eyes filled with admiration, gently nudging the boy whenever he got distracted and began walking off-track. It stayed that way even with the distance, until one Christmas, Y/N woke up and Vernon had not returned. 

CHRISTMAS DAY 2016:

“Mom?” Y/N called as she walked slowly down the stairs. She had returned home from university for the holidays and was confused when Vernon wasn’t at his usual spot to welcome her home. “Where’s Vernon?” He was usually back from Korea by now.

She didn’t like the look of pity her mother was giving her. “He didn’t tell you, honey? He’s been so busy with work, looks like he can’t fly back to join us for christmas this year.”

She felt her heart sink. She had been looking forward to spending time with him, even if it was just a couple of days out of the year. “Oh.” Of course, she understood. His work was important and she was sure the kpop industry couldn’t be easy. “That’s okay. I guess he must’ve been too busy to tell me.” 

--

“What are you still doing here?” Joshua frowned at Vernon, who was lying down on his bed. “Shouldn’t you be in New York by now?” He was used to Vernon flying back to New York every christmas since they had met. 

Vernon let out a huff. “Not going back this year, Josh.” 

“Why not?” His friend pressed, confused. Vernon was usually so excited to go back. “Isn’t your friend going to be sad?”

“I can’t miss any more practice before our comeback. One Christmas should be fine.” Vernon explained, although his voice betrayed his disappointment. He had been looking forward to going back home, to be able to see Y/N again. He thought to himself that one christmas couldn’t hurt, right?

One Christmas missed turned into two. Then four. Then the timing felt too long and awkward and Vernon just never got the confidence to ever go back.

10 DAYS FROM CHRISTMAS 2024: 

Korea was beautiful underneath a sheet of snow. Y/N had landed last night, having made up her mind to give living in Korea a try. Ever since graduating university and landing a job as a screenwriter, her friends and family had always urged her to try working for the Korean film scene. 

She supposed she had always just avoided the country because of Vernon.

Her new job writing for some K-drama started after New Years. She thought maybe spending Christmas in a new place would bring back the mirth and good cheer the holiday used to give her, but she knew she was here for a different reason. A selfish and pathetic one. It burned her, that a part of her still wished to bump into Vernon after all these years. She knew he was doing well, SEVENTEEN was soaring through new heights and she had kept tabs on his ongoing success. It was the only way she kept going: his large internet presence sometimes made it feel like he never even left at all.

It hurt her the most that he could be doing so well without ever seeing her again.

Rounding the corner to the coffee shop, she rubbed her raw hands to regain heat. Ordering, she was relieved to find out she could still hold a conversation in Korean. It had gone rusty, the only people she ever used Korean with back home was Vernon’s dad and sister. 

“Hello?” Someone from behind her tapped her on the shoulder. “Do I know you from somewhere?”

She was greeted by a slightly taller, blond man, sporting black rimmed glasses and holding a cup of iced coffee. Her mind short circuiting a bit from the sudden Korean, she paused, trying to recollect her thoughts before replying. “I don’t think so?” 

The man’s eyes widened in sudden recognition. “You’re the girl in the Christmas photos!” He exclaimed with wonder, pointing at her as if they were long lost friends.

She squinted, giving him another look over. “Um..” She frowned, quite sure she didn’t know this man. 

“Sorry.” He smiled sheepishly at her, extending his hand for a handshake. “That probably came out wrong. You’re Vernon’s friend from New York, right? I’ve seen you in the pictures on his wall.” 

She blanched, all of a sudden feeling very light and disoriented. “I’m sorry.” She smiled politely, still racking her brain furiously for the guy’s name. “How do you know Vernon?”

“I’m Seungkwan.” He explained, dropping her hand. “Vernon’s bandmate.”

She let out a sound of realization. “Ah~” She knew who he was. “Seungkwan. Sorry, I didn’t expect you to have blonde hair now.” 

Chuckling at her shy admission, Seungkwan felt strangely sad to see the girl in Korea. “When did you come to Korea?” He asked, knowing Vernon would lose his shit if he found out they had been in the same location for a while. 

“I arrived just last night.” 

He left out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. Okay, at least it hadn’t been very long. “You should come to our Christmas party.” He suggested, knowing Vernon would be there. “It’s being hosted at Coups hyung’s house this year, and everyone will be there.”

Y/N shook her head. “I wouldn’t want to make things weird.” She already caught on to the fact that Seungkwan knew all about her and Vernon’s falling out, or lack of one. 

“You wouldn’t.” He insisted. “You must come. I’d hate to see you spend Christmas by yourself.” 

It didn’t take much for Y/N to relent. She supposed a part of her had been looking for a chance to see Vernon again. “Alright. I’ll stop by and say a quick hi to everyone.” 

Seungkwan’s smile was contagious as he beamed, grabbing a napkin to scribble Scoups’ address onto it and handing it to her. “It’s at 7pm on the 24th. Bring a present- something small.” He hurriedly gave her all the details as he left, mumbling about being late for a company meeting and how lovely it was to finally meet Vernon’s mystery girl.

Holding the napkin in her still freezing hand, Y/N felt utterly shipwrecked as she watched Seungkwan leave. Nine days was enough to prepare her heart to see Vernon again, right?

12 HOURS TILL CHRISTMAS 2024: 

The frost in the air bit at Y/N’s face and neck as she quickly rang the doorbell to Seungcheol’s home. It was smaller than she had expected it to be, homey and comfortably situated in between two other larger houses. 

“Y/N!” Seungkwan greeted her as he opened the door, tugging her in. “Oh, look at you. You must be freezing. Come in, come in.” Taking her coat from her and hanging it up, he beamed down at her. “I’m so glad you actually came.” 

She bit back a smile, taking off her shoes. “I couldn’t turn down an invitation from Vernon’s friends.” 

“Vernon’s in the living room with the others.” Seungkwan pointed down the hall, directing her over. 

Y/N paused, loitering in the hallway between the door to the living room and the door to the kitchen. She felt strangely pulled towards the kitchen, knowing it’d be safe without the chance of a potential run-in with Vernon. Turning decisively towards the kitchen, she pretended not to hear Seungkwan’s deep sigh as he followed her in, knowing the boy was disappointed she had run away. 

“It’s the girl from Vernon’s photos!” Hoshi sprung off the kitchen island to greet her, handing her  a cup of mystery liquid. 

She sniffed it before cringing away at the strong liquor scent. “That’s me.” She mumbled, shoulders sagging a little. “Does he really still have photos of me up? 

Everyone in the kitchen nodded simultaneously. “It’s been on his wall since we were trainees.” Joshua informed her, his eyes holding a teasing glint. “Every time we move places he just puts it back up.” 

Y/N didn’t really know what to do with that information. “Oh.” She replied, looking down in her cup, thinking. “I didn’t know that.” 

Seungkwan let out a loud sigh once again. “You should go talk to him.” 

She looked up. 

“Please.” He added, his tone bordering on begging. “He’s been so grumpy. Especially during the holiday season. I got a pillow to the face for asking him a simple question yesterday.” He grumbled out, complaining about his moody roommate. 

“What did you ask him?” Joshua asked, mildly curious.

Seungkwan shrugged. “Just if he was going back to New York.”

“Of course he threw a pillow at you.” Joshua rolled his eyes. “I’m surprised he didn’t just deck you, with how you were antagonizing him. You know very well he hasn’t gone back in years.” 

Y/N watched the conversation silently, gagging quietly as she sipped the concoction Hoshi had handed her. She absorbed the information diligently, her eyes widening the more information she got on Vernon. Distance had turned him into a stranger - and now, well, she couldn’t really say she knew him at all. It was strange, having to admit someone she used to read like the back of her own hand was someone she now didn’t know at all. 

“I’m going to the living room.” She decided, having had enough of the topic. If she kept listening to them talk about Vernon’s struggles and heartache about leaving her in New York one more minute she might find herself leaving for the night. Being in the same room with Vernon was just going to be awkward silence anyways. She knew he wasn’t brave enough to approach her. At least not tonight. 

--

“Y/N!” 

It was Mingyu and Wonwoo who greeted her from the couch, the two of them in the middle of an intense round of what looked to be Mariokart. They waved at her from their place, inviting her over to sit next to them. She was painfully aware of Vernon’s eyes staring at her from his place on the rug, fingers busy with a random puzzle that was lying out. 

“Hi guys.” She smiled, sitting down, laughing when Mingyu pushed Wonwoo in an attempt to disrupt his driving. 

“We didn’t know you were in Korea for Christmas!” Mingyu exclaimed. “Good thing Seungkwan bumped into you when he did and invited you over.” 

She glanced at Vernon, who was doing his best to pretend like he wasn’t interested in their conversation. “Yeah. I moved here recently actually. Got a job writing for a TV show.” 

Vernon’s eyes widened as he fixed his stare against the white rug. 

“That’s cool.” Wonwoo smiled at Y/N, happy for her. “It’s good that you’re in Korea now.” He side eyed Vernon, frowning when he realized the boy hadn’t even spoken to Y/N. Nudging him with his foot, he gestured with his gaze. “Did you hear Vernon? Y/N got a job here.”

Vernon nodded stiffly before standing up. “I think Cheol hyung’s calling me, I’ll- I’ll go see what he wants.” And just like that he was gone, rushing out of the living room. 

Wonwoo looked apologetically at Y/N. “I’m sorry about that.”

She shrugged, although her heart had cracked at the movement. “It’s okay.” 

“Maybe now that you’re in Korea you guys can be friends again?” Mingyu suggested quietly, although a part of him wasn’t really certain about it. “Maybe?”

“Maybe.” She mumbled, taking another sip of her drink, feeling her face flush with heat. Anger or embarrassment, she couldn’t tell. 

Maybe it was the alcohol speaking, but Y/N could feel her lips start to loosen the more she sat with Mingyu and Wonwoo, the party heading later into the night. 

“You know I used to hate you guys.” She admitted all of a sudden, jolting both boys out of whatever conversation they were having. 

“What?” Wonwoo frowned. “Why?”

“I hated Vernon for choosing you guys over me.” She lowered her eyes to the floor, feeling ashamed. “I know it’s childish of me, but hating you guys was how I dealt with it. I couldn’t bring myself to hate Vernon for his own actions.” 

Mingyu looked at her with sad eyes as he patted her on the back gently. “I get that.” He reassured her, and she looked over at Wonwoo who was nodding as well. 

“Do you still hate us?” Wonwoo asked, his voice calm.

She shook her head. “No. So I guess I’m just-” She paused. “Confused now.”

She hated how pitiful their looks made her feel as she sat there, nursing her half finished drink, mind spinning. Perhaps it was time to leave her silly childhood infatuation with Vernon in the past. It seemed like he had done so already anyways. 

10 HOURS TILL CHRISTMAS 2024: 

Vernon felt like throwing up the moment he saw Y/N enter the party. It felt like a vision, something he had conjured up within his own mind, until the others had greeted her and shattered his vision into reality. 

“Talk to her, you moron.” Seungkwan nudged him. He had retreated from the living room into the kitchen the moment Y/N had sat down with the others on the couch. It physically stung to be in the same room as her, with all the knowledge that he had failed her and their once cherished friendship. 

He took another gulp of his drink instead of answering Seungkwan. 

“She clearly still loves you, y’know.” The boy continued upon hearing Vernon’s silence. “Or else she wouldn’t be here. And didn’t you always tell us Y/N would follow you around like a puppy whenever you were back home as kids?” 

Screw Seungkwan and his amazing, awfully selective memory.

“So?” Vernon mumbled, rolling his shoulders back and feeling himself tense. “Things change.”

“You’ve changed.” 

Vernon stared at his friend, thrown off by the sudden harsh truths. “What?”

“I don’t think she’s changed at all, Vernon.” Seungkwan observed. “It’s you who’s changed and you who has to fix it.” He paused. “Or at least explain it to her. Why you don’t want to be friends anymore.” 

“I do want to be friends.” He stated plainly.

Seungkwan cut his eyes at him, exasperated. “Then tell her that. Jeez, bro. You suck at this.” 

“We’re swapping presents now!” Seungcheol poked his head out from behind the hallway door. “Everyone in the living room!” 

Vernon grabbed his present from the counter and headed in behind Seungkwan and Joshua, turning the box in his hands as he examined the poor wrapping job he had done last night. He had bought the most generic gift he could find, knowing it was going to be a random swap with the boys. The thing he hadn’t accounted for was Y/N showing up - and now it had thrown both his present and him off the game. 

“Grab a pair.” Seungcheol announced loudly to everyone in the room, as there was a mad scramble for partners. 

Vernon found himself standing alone in the midst of his bandmates all already coupled up, limbs tangled together in an awkward mad dash for a partner. His eyes met the only other person with a partner and he stifled a pained cry. 

“It looks like you and Y/N are exchanging gifts this year, Non.” Seungkwan shot him a large grin from his spot next to Mingyu.

He knew this had to be preplanned - fate couldn’t be this cruel, right?

“Go on.” Seungkwan poked him in the back, urging him to approach Y/N, who suddenly seemed to be very captivated by a nearby portrait of Seungcheol and Kkmua, placed on the shelf next to her. She stared at it intensely, although Vernon knew she was still hyper-aware of the fact that he was slowly walking towards her. She had that funny way of darting her eyes towards the person she was avoiding while not facing in their direction. 

“Y/N.” Her name sounded so foreign yet so familiar across his tongue as he spoke.

“Vernon.” 

Her voice felt like coming home. 

“Here.” He placed his gift in her hands as he took hers, turning it awkwardly in his hands. “What is it?” He asked, shaking it gently. 

The corners of her mouth lifted. “Telling you would defeat the purpose of it being a surprise.” 

“You said that last time too.” 

He watched her stiffen at his words and he immediately regretted bringing up the past. They both knew last time had been years ago. 

“I guess I did.” She replied stiffly, turning his gift in her hands. “What’s yours?”

“Thought you liked your presents to be a surprise?” He recalled, remembering how she used to whine that he must wrap her presents, when the teenage him had insisted that just putting it in a bag would be fine. 

“I do.” Her tone made it sound like she was just remembering that fact herself. She looked up and shot him an awkward smile. “I guess I don’t really know what to say.”

“Me either.” 

He could’ve sworn he saw her face drop at his words. 

They separated soon after, the uncomfortable silence taking over and suffocating them both out of the vicinity of each other. Vernon returned to his spot in the kitchen, picking at the pieces of takeout still leftover on the counter, listening to the others squabble over meaningless things. 

He watched Y/N leave, feet rooted by the hallway door and mouth firmly shut closed - he didn’t trust himself to say goodbye to her - he knew that if he had, a million unsaid words would have spilled out and the night would have ended terribly for the both of them. But it was the fear that kept him still most of all, as he watched her exchange numbers with Seungkwan, hugging the others and promising to keep in touch. He stayed as still as a statue as the door shut behind her. 

“You idiot.” Seungkwan turned to face him as soon as he locked the door. 

“Seungkwan.” Seungcheol’s warning tone made Vernon look at him. He was sending a strong warning glance at the boy. 

“What?” Seungkwan protested. “He is being stupid.” 

“I think I’m going to head back.” Vernon mumbled, grabbing his coat and hurriedly throwing it on, Y/N��s gift clutched tightly under his arm as he headed for the door. “Thanks for the party, Coups hyung.” He called behind him, shutting the door behind him and welcoming in the cool, biting winter air. 

He released the pent up breath that had been choking him all night and furiously wiped away the tears that had begun to form the moment he shut the door behind him. 

“Idiot.” He quietly chided himself. “So stupid.”

CHRISTMAS 2018: 

“Are you really never going back to New York?” Joshua prodded at his arm with an insistent jab of a finger. 

Vernon hummed in response. “There’s no point. My family prefers coming to Korea for the holidays anyways. They get to visit family here and everything.” 

“What about your girlfriend?”

Vernon turned his head to see Joshua sporting a shit eating grin. “You know she’s not my girlfriend.”

“Might as well be.” He shrugged, pointing at the various photos that featured her against his wall. “Look at your pathetic loving gaze at her in all of these photos. You’re not even looking at the camera in any of these.” 

Vernon frowned at his comment, taking a good look at the photos and realizing Joshua was right. “Doesn’t matter what I feel, hyung. She’s not my girlfriend.”

“She’ll never be if you don’t go back.” Joshua suddenly got serious, as he shifted in his seat to look at Vernon better. “Is there an actual reason why you won’t go back? I know we were too busy the last two years but this year we’re free.” 

Vernon stayed silent even though the answer was clear as day in his mind. He was scared, terrified even. Terrified he had hurt her by neglecting her due to his heavy schedules, that she would slam the door in his face if he tried to visit her. “I don’t want to see her hate me.” He finally spat out, cringing as he said it. 

Joshua let out a tiny noise of understanding. “So you’re avoiding her. Pretending so you don’t have to deal with the consequences.”

“When you put it like that you make me sound like an asshole.” 

Joshua gave him a look that bordered on pitiful. “I don’t know what to tell you, man.” 

“I’d rather remember her like this, y’know?” He said, pointing at the way she smiled at him in the pictures on his wall. “Instead of-”

“She might not hate you.” Joshua reminded him quietly from next to him. 

“I really, really doubt that, hyung.” 

5 HOURS TILL CHRISTMAS: 

It wasn’t computing properly into Vernon’s head that you had just gotten him the one thing he’s been wanting all his life. 

He had been ogling the Novation Launchpad Pro that was currently sitting on his work table for the last hour, not really believing what he was seeing with his own two eyes. Unwrapping it had been a heart attack in of itself, as he opened up Y/N’s present to reveal the one thing that had been sitting on the top of his childhood wish list since he could remember. Even now, as a famous artist who could afford the splurge, he had never gotten it for himself, knowing it was a luxury and a purchase he didn’t necessarily need. 

“What the fuck, Y/N.” He muttered in disbelief, sliding his palm down his face as he continued to stare at the gift. It was fucking fantastic and exactly what he wanted, and it made him feel even worse about the whole situation. 

She might not hate you. He recalled the words Joshua had told him one time, Christmases ago. 

“Someone who hated me wouldn’t have gotten me this, right?” He said aloud to himself, reaching a timid hand out to fiddle with the launchpad controls. “How did she even know we’d be exchanging gifts anyways?” And how on earth does she know I never got myself one? In what felt like a split second decision, Vernon felt himself walking towards the door of his apartment, sliding his shoes on and grabbing his keys - only one destination in mind. He had to fix this, somehow. Because there was no fucking way she still hated him.

4 HOURS TILL CHRISTMAS:

She would’ve complained that the sudden doorbell at 3am woke her up but she hadn’t really been sleeping. Y/N had been lying in bed with her eyes wide open since the moment she’d gotten home, the bag of chocolates and various snacks from Vernon left on her kitchen counter. She had stifled a laugh when she opened it - even till this day, Vernon’s go to gift was still the same. Chocolate and snacks can never fail, he had told her, defending his choice of gift. Especially when you don’t know the person too well. 

She supposed that line made sense for their situation too. 

“Vernon?” She squinted at the figure standing on her porch in the dark. “What are you doing here?” She rubbed her eyes, mildly wondering if she was dreaming. 

He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as he stared down at her. “You got me the launchpad.” 

She blinked. “Yeah.”

“How’d you know?”

She stared back at him, stunned at his bluntness and the randomness of the current setting. “You never shut up about it.” 

His mouth opened and closed again. She watched as he tried looking for words, his vocabulary ultimately failing him. 

“Come inside.” She said quietly, noticing how the harsh winter wind blew at his thin coat. Dragging him gently inside, she shut the door behind them both, turning around awkwardly to face him. She never thought she’d ever see him in his apartment - yet he looked so perfect.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, eyes darting around her place, taking it all in. “I know it’s late.” Glancing down at her pajamas, his lips quivered in a small smile. “Cute.”

“What?” She stared at him indignantly, completely thrown off by his behaviour. “Are you drunk?” She reached out a hand to touch his face, trying to check his temperature, but he caught her hand in his before she could reach. 

“I’m not drunk, Y/N.” He dropped her hand like it had burned him. 

“Then what are you here for?”

She watched him moisten his lips as he stalled for time. 

“I wanted to say sorry.” He finally said, his words tumbling out as if they had been held back for long enough. “I shouldn’t have cut you off like that.” 

She thought she’d have a more visceral reaction to the apology she had been waiting for all this time, but she didn’t. “Why are you saying this now? It’s been nearly ten years, Vernon.” 

“I know. I’m sorry.” 

Her shoulders sagged at his words and the sight of his dejected, ashamed face. “Why didn’t you come back? Or text me?” She asked him, pleading for an answer. 

He finally looked up and met her eyes. “I guess I was scared. I got busy one year and didn’t go back- and I neglected our friendship. And then-” He paused, his voice breaking. “I left, and time passed and staying away felt simpler than going back. No goodbye felt better than a bad one.” 

“It wouldn’t have been a bad goodbye.” 

He shook his head. “You hated me.” 

She looked away, remembering all the times she had cursed him for leaving her behind when she was younger. “Maybe. But never for long.” She mustered all her courage to tell him her next words. “I loved you too much to hate you for very long.” 

Vernon blinked at her. “You loved me?”

She hummed in response, still not quite looking at him. They stood there, by her door, in the dim lights of her apartment. 

“How did you even get my address?” She suddenly asked, forgetting he shouldn’t have known where to find her. 

Vernon stayed silent, his mind still reeling from the sudden love confession. She used to love me? 

“Vernon.” Y/N nudged him. 

“Oh.” He finally responded, although his own voice felt like light years away as his mind continued to reel. “I asked my sister. Didn’t know you guys still talked.” 

“Oh.” 

“You used to love me?” He asked, incredulous, not quite believing her words. “Why?”

She laughed, and the sound wrapped around Vernon like her hugs used to. “What do you mean, why? Of course I loved you. I followed you around like a lost kid our entire childhood.” 

“I loved you too, y’know.” 

Her smile dropped as she paused mid-laugh. “What?” 

He took a step closer to her, unsure where the sudden confidence was coming from. Vernon searched her eyes for some figment of affection, for truth, for the way she used to look at him when they were younger. “I don’t think I ever stopped loving you.” He finally admitted. “I definitely tried to, but your hold on me lasted through distance and time.” 

“Me too.” 

“What?”

“I never stopped loving you too.”

[sillyuin]

if your requests are in, I was wondering who in Svt would give u up for friendship and who would fight for u till the end ( if two of the members were interested in someone). I really like your style of writing and think it’s super super cute so I would love it if you could make this idea come to life: thank you and keep writing xxx🫶🏽

Hi anon! Sorry for keep you waiting but here it is. I struggled a little bc is the first time writing something likes this, but it was also fun, thank you ♥

Seventeen reactions (ot13) - Fight or Flight?

Yuin's note: barely proofread. I'm still stuck with write's block so I don't know how my attempt at comedy turned out.

Scoups: He’d be troubled. Seungcheol really, really wants to be with you and thinking about losing you is something that just can’t think of. So, he would just let it flow, no matter how hard it was, and do his best not to lose his mind. (but we all know he already did it and he’d kill to have you just for him).

Jeonghan: He'd be with a "I’ve got this” attitude and like he trust himself, but lowkey, Jeonghan is terrified about what could happen. This is not a Going Seventeen episode (and he hates to admit it) so he just can’t cheat like is a game, but probably will use all the cards he has up his sleeve.

Joshua: Maybe he has too much self-confidence or just don’t want to rush things over, but Joshua would be very chill about it. He will be your friend no matter what happens and will be there whenever you need him, so what happens it’s completely up to you. Good luck!

Jun: That would be a big surprise, not a pleasant one, and saying that he's just distressed is little for how he'd really feels about it. Jun loves you as you are, but he needs some space to collect his thoughts so he might be a distant for a time :(

Hoshi: Okay, this man would do anything for you so he won't give in so easily. Hoshi doesn’t matter anyone but you, so he will exhaust all the resources available to him, but also trying his best not to overwhelm you in the process (and we all know he’s fighting for his life lol).

Wonwoo: He'd prefer staying in his comfort zone and is okay with just a friendship, letting the path clear for the other person but also leaving the door open. (As soon as he's alone he would drown his sorrows by playing animal crossing and dissociating).

Woozi: Just like Wonwoo he'd prefer to keep it as a friendship, a little of you is better than nothing, open to possibilities but also without really looking for them. However, we all know him and would be so blue that will probably write a song about it (the next SOFT if you ask me).

Minghao: Despairing will not help and he knows that, so he'd try to push further than a friendship. Hao is patient but also dedicated, the last thing he wants is to do something that might hurt you, the best option is to walk at a slow and safe pace.

Dokyeom: Ugh, that would break his heart, he can't imagine his world without you but at the same time, Dokyeom knows that he can't tie you. So, whatever makes you happy would make him happy too... At least on the surface (We all know he'd be tossing and turning in bed trying not to think about it).

Mingyu: Sulky Mingyu just entered the chat because yes, a situation like that is very frustrating. But on the top of that is you. So, as long as you follow your heart, he would respect that decision, lowkey crossing his fingers behind his back for you to choose him.

Seungkwan: Probably too much for him to handle. Seungkwan would feel his emotions on the surface, unable to think properly. He'd prefer to step back for a time, maybe some days, at least until he can look at the others without looking like he wants to slap them.

Vernon: He wouldn't flinch we all know that for sure lol. He enjoys spending time with you and your silly jokes always makes his days a little brighter. No matter what happens, Vernon would be there to share more happy memories with you.

Dino: He'd probably freak out and scream on the inside because a love triangle wasn't on his bingo for this year. However, he's not quitting. If you end up just being friends then he will accept it, but no one can say that Chan wouldn't give his best to get you

[i-see-you-as-a-sunflower]

Dear carats who've left during Fears CB

This is a letter to the carats that have left when it got tough, when things just wasnt going right and when our digitals hit an low i write this to you thanking you for loving svt for the time you did i hope you have alot of memeories that you will cherrish but i will say this we wont miss you.

The carats that stood here during this era, hat continue to stream and vote when it seem like things are really impossible, the ones that might have become discourage and wanted to give up but decided not to for seventeen i salute you guys, i just want to tell you how much im proud of you. I know I've said that i wanted to ghost this era but then i remember i couldnt i remeber how important this album and cb was to svt and i remember how important they are to me like we are to them so i stayed

Lets admit things havent been easy for us carats since 2017 but we always stuck by their side just like they always did for us when fear era came and the digitals just werent bevoming better, when the knets started to rip seventeen apart and when the negativity took a new level so many carats left because they only loved svt when things were easy , cause things became tough for them and so alot left and some that did decided to drag svt and drag their digitals like they werent a carat 2.5 seconds ago but you know what carats did we ignore them

From k-carats to j-carats and c-carats and inlt carats we have been working hard even when our views kept freazing yes it became frustrating but did we leave NO k-carats who have been so stressed out and so hurt about no matter how hard they were streaming nothing changed on digital charts do you think they gave up? NO if you go into the fancafe right now those carats are still streaming like theres no tomorrow everyone who stayed during this cb, during this cb that has made us go through so many hurdles and so many problems we all stayed

And that shows that your love for them, that you understand their love for you, i Know get on yall And i know sometimes my words are worded wrong and can come off as hard but its not my intent its cause i want yall to do more cause i know you can and cause it started hurting my heart how so many were dropping svt even though they have been trying so hard and so i became scared about the fandom I've loved, that started to disappear after the year 2017 left us i became scared for svt but it has brough tears to my eyes to see so many stay, its made me cry about how many didnt leave them when times got tough and it made my heart warm to see so many defend them agaisnt peoples words just like svt would for us and has

The ones that have stayed have shown that you care and you love svt and that you are stronger than those "carats" that left cause svt wadnt topping charts those people only stanned for svts popularity they only stanned to say "oh i stanned cause they are #1" once they saw we werent going to win a daesang they dipped

But so many stayed cause they know when that day comes we will know who was here during the hard times. It's better to have a fandom who stays when times are tough than a fandom thats only here for good things

As i end this i want to say yes im hard on yall but thats cause carats are my home you and svt was something i was welcome into so easily without a problem i was shown love by both and so i just want yall to do more cause you can! The ones that left so fast once they didnt like an ode i cant understand you yes you wont like everything by your fav but to completely leave theres no excuse for that you just never really cared I've not liked alot from my other fav artist but im still here for them and i always will

So to end this post the ones who stay through the bad times and the good times the ones that stay through thick and thin those are the fans a group deserves and i hope to god that svt receives more of those💙

[sweethartlullaby]

from people you know to people you don’t

word count: 665 genre: angst!!!!! fake relationship songs: people you know - selena gomez sweethartlullaby ꕤ masterlist

The stars in his eyes would not go away no matter how far you were away from him. 

He watched you, orbs shining at the sight of your face on the screen. You were beautiful as always and part of him wished he could tell you at that moment. 

Dating idols had never been something easy. Both of you knew that when you said yes. Dating idols for publicity was even more challenging. You had to force yourself not to look at your phone anymore, since the comments hurt too much. But while yours had threats and insults, his reminded him that he deserved better. When he noticed - a little too late he admitted - he blocked them off for both of you. 

A fake relationship to gain more eyes on the two of you was smart, and it worked quite well. Every smile you threw his way was something that would be captured and splashed on the glossy front page the next morning. Every time he held your hand, you would trend on Twitter. He liked that he was getting attention. It was good for his career. 

What he didn’t expect was for it to fly by. 

Eight months whizzed right in front of his eyes and after all the time he had spent with you, he found himself wanting you more. Not for the fame or the glory but because he had grown to like you as a person. 

A lot. 

It was the sixth-month mark when he realized he wished he could watch this movie with you. And the day after that, he found himself wishing it was you he was strolling around with. While he didn’t understand this craving, he didn’t feel as though it was a bad thing. 

Seeing you now, four months after your very public breakup, almost made him cry. You were respectful until the end and while every minute of it hurt for you, you never took it out on him. He wanted to protect you and he regretted the moments he couldn’t. You were gleaming on stage and your confidence shone like a beacon in the dark as if you were calling him to you. 

And he wanted to run to you. 

He missed you. He missed how he was able to conceal his true feelings by saying it was for the cameras. He missed how he could hold you freely and no one would think too much of it. He desired to run his hands through your hair again, to feel the strands flow between his fingers. He needed to hear you laugh in his ear again, to be blessed with such a melodic sound. He wanted you, every part of you. 

Did you miss him too? Did your eyes search for his in every crowd? Were you secretly hoping he was here with you tonight? Did you want him the way he wanted you? Was he foolish for trying?

Thinking of you brought back all the memories he had of you. Like that time you had adopted the way he said things or the way you danced like him. It was endearing and it might have been one of the times he realized he was going to fall for you; which he never thought was a problem. Hell, he would do it all over again. Even if the crash was worse than this, even if he would never be able to forget you. You were more than a stepping stone to glory. In fact, he wanted to walk the path with you. 

When you looked at the camera, he felt as if you were looking at him. Those same familiar eyes, the same ones he watched tears spill out of when you read comments, the same ones he watched shrink with every laugh, the same ones he could stare into forever. 

But instead, here he was with crossed arms and a still face. Because if he started smiling for you, the crying would follow too.

a/n: first day of classes!!!! just quickly wrote this one before I have to go but this is just something I thought of after the SVT concert I went to. I imagined DK! I’d love to hear who you guys imagined and if you enjoyed it, I’d appreciate a like or reblog! thank you for reading :)

[because-of-a-friend]

Enemies to Lovers!Jeonghan

MASTERLIST

One day I will come up with titles for my works lol. 

Hi Hannah!!!! Thanks for requesting! I loved doing this one! I went ahead and went with Jeonghan cuz I feel like he fits this trope best! Sorry you had to wait so long, this particular fic got deleted like... three times so it was a struggle lol. I hope it’s what you were looking for!

I hope this is a good one, I’m realizing I get real insecure about my writing anytime I’m not doing a bulletpoint or reaction fic, so I don’t feel great about this time. Also I only started recently putting actual detail into my kiss scenes and idk how I’m doing with those???? Like do they seem ok??? Also I feel like I make it so obvious that I am such a sucker for SVT having cute nicknames for siblings, friends, partners, etc in fics lol. Anyways...

Also, I really said: Jeonghan... but in different types of lighting

Remember I don’t own the gif! Link to OP is right there if you want to go give the creator some love!!!

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: Mentions eating, reader is using female pronouns (I will keep things gn unless you request differently), I think that’s it, pls let me know if I missed any

You’re not sure exactly how it happened. It was probably just an instance of getting off on the wrong foot, that led to more awkward interactions, giving both of you the wrong impression of each other. You knew this, you could rationalize it all. You were well aware that all it would take was one “I think we might have the wrong idea of each other” conversation and it would all be over. You could easily fix it all, but…

But his stupid smug face. The sarcastic jokes. The never-ending pranks that were not as funny as he thought they were. His ridiculous arrogance. His overall unapologetic nature towards all of it.

You couldn’t help but hate Yoon Jeonghan.

*****

“I don’t know, Wonnie…” you say uneasily over the phone. In previous years, you’d go over to the dorm without hesitation. You loved spending time with your brother and many of the other boys. But ever since you had officially met and begun interacting with Jeonghan…

“C’mon, [Y/N]! I bought that new game you were talking about! We can play it together on my gaming system!” Wonwoo began to persuade. You knew you’d give in; you always did. Your brother was far too sweet a person and far too comforting a presence to reject. The question was how long did you want to argue with him about going to the dorm.

You sighed, accepting defeat early to save time, “I’ll head over there in a bit.”

Wonwoo gives a small cry of victory, “Ok, I’ll have Gyu make extra ramen.” Wonwoo abruptly hangs up the phone right after, leaving you in silence to groan in regret of your decision.

You immediately straighten yourself out, though, trying to put yourself in a mindset of determination. What were you thinking? Just because you and that asshole didn’t get along meant you couldn’t go see your own twin brother without feeling uncomfortable? Screw that! If he wanted to keep the peace then he was going to have to start watching where he stepped around you. 

*****

You knocked loud and clear on the door of their dorm, knowing that with thirteen people living inside, it was usually too noisy for them to hear someone signal their arrival. To your relief, Seungcheol opened the door just moments after you knocked and greeted you with a warm smile followed by a hand sneaking into your hair to ruffle it, “Hey there, kiddo! How’s it hanging?”

“Just fine,” you tilt your head down slightly in his direction as you pass him to enter the dorm. “How are things here?” As soon as you ask, your ears are met with the noise of someone dropping something in the kitchen, followed by Seungkwan crying in alarm.

“Same as always, I supposed,” Seungcheol sighs, but his smile doesn’t fade. “I think Mingyu and Wonwoo are already in the computer room, if you want to go ahead and see them!”

“Ok, thanks Cheol!” you call as you both rush off in different directions, him towards the kitchen and you towards the small room that would provide you solace from the possibility of having to see Yoon Jeonghan.

You were determined not to let things go how they usually did: you with your mouth clamped shut as Jeonghan spoke whatever teasing words he had saved up for you, and the most you can do to fight back is by rolling your eyes and finding any way to get away from him.

This time, you would still avoid contact with him, but if it happened, you’d speak your mind and not care what he thought, since that’s how he treated you.

But there was no sign of him or anyone else as you walked to the computer room. You could hear Mingyu and Wonwoo yelling and cheering at the game long before you opened the door. It was pitch black inside, the piercing light of the screen making you squint your eyes.

The two men inside both turn immediately to check who offended their dark space with the soft, yellow light from the hallway.

“Oh [Y/N], you came!” Mingyu beams up at you. You nod, matching his bright expression.

“How’s the game?” you ask simply, looking up to your brother.

“We like it so far,” Wonwoo’s smile is wide, he always gets excited about new games, whether they’re good or not. He leans over to grab a can of some sort of energy drink before gulping it down. “We left some ramen for you over there on the table. Eat first, then I’ll let you have a turn.”

You roll your eyes, though Wonwoo was only mere minutes older than you, he found those moments to be enough leverage to order you around and act like you should be dependent on his care. There were times when he even referred to himself as “oppa” to you and insisted that you do the same.

Most of the time you let it slide, especially when you weren’t in the mood to argue. However, there were times when you’d pull out the “We’re the same age,” “Even if you’re older, I’m smarter,” or “Don’t boss me around when I’m more mature than you” cards at the drop of a hat.

“Can you at least turn on the LEDs while I eat?” you ask, tip-toeing in the darkness towards the table at the back end of the room. You hear a click before a soft blue glow fills the room, finally giving you a clear view of your path. You pull the bowl of ramen towards you as you sit and resist the urge to comment on how little they left you. The dorm was filled with food anyways, you could find more later if you got hungry again.

Wonwoo and Mingyu begin to eagerly tell you what they like about the game as you eat. You listen happily, feeling safe in the presence of your brother and friend.

Then of course…

“Hey you two, Cheol wanted me to remind you that we have to get up early tomorrow,” you can’t help the sour expression that comes over your face as Jeonghan enters the room to speak to Wonwoo and Mingyu. “Oh, hey there cutie, I didn’t know you were here!” His smirk makes you sick.

“Don’t call me that,” you say bitterly into the nearly empty bowl.

Wonwoo looks nervously between you and his bandmate, well aware of the dislike you have for him. He’s grateful that you’ve always kept it so civil, but still feels bothered by the unrest between you.

Jeonghan lets out a little giggle in response, and Wonwoo feels a tug in the pit of his stomach, he wishes Jeonghan wouldn’t be so hard on you sometimes. He knows his hyung doesn’t mean anything by it, but you…

You feel your heart sink as Jeonghan steps fully into the room, striding to sit across from you at the table. You can only stare in wonder at his audacity as he slides the bowl towards himself and finishes off the ramen in one bite.

“I was eating that,” you try to keep your tone measured, attempting to keep within the balance of standing up for yourself but not starting any drama that would affect the boys.

“Go make more if you’re hungry, then,” Jeonghan says casually, making your anger positively flare.

You don’t even give your brother the chance to mediate, jumping up from your place and leaving the room, wanting to be anywhere but around that prick.

*****

“You’re leaving already?” Mingyu pouts at you.

“Gyu, I’ve been here for hours,” you laugh, stretching out your fingers as they start to prick from pain of slamming into a keyboard for so long. You had returned to the computer room but only after Jeonghan left. Part of you had wished you had done more to confront him; another part was glad you didn’t start a fight and put Wonwoo in an awkward position. “Besides all of you, as well as me have to get up early tomorrow, it’s already late. I need to get back home.”

“You can stay here,” Wonwoo was quick to offer.

You shook your head at him, “Then I’ll just have to get up even earlier, I’ll go back to my place.” Wonwoo nods almost reluctantly, standing to walk you out.

All of you run into Joshua on your way to the front door, he turns out to be the only one smart enough to ask how you got there.

“Oh, I took the bus,” you say slowly, knowing this is about to cause issues.

“Well, the last one would have already stopped running by now,” Mingyu says looking at the time on his phone.

“I’ll give you a ride,” Josh offers immediately.

You bring your hands up to shake them back and forth, “No, no, I can find a way home, you all need to go to bed.”

“[Y/N],” Wonwoo speaks up immediately in that stern voice you hate but also can’t help but listen to, “let Josh take you home. It’s either that or you stay here, I won’t have you walking around alone at night.” Wonwoo waits a moment to gauge your expression. He finally nods affirmatively, before speaking directly to Joshua, “Take her home, please.”

Joshua nods before walking off to grab his keys. You and Wonwoo send Mingyu off to bed. Once you’re alone, your brother pulls you in for a tight hug. “Do you want me to say something to him?” he asks lowly.

You shake your head, “I don’t want to cause any problems with you guys.” You sit in silence for a moment. “Come and stay over with me sometime, I miss our sleepovers.”

Joshua comes back and Wonwoo pulls away, “Thanks, hyung. Please get her home safe.” For the second time that night, your hair gets ruffled before your brother disappears to go off to bed.

The ride home with Joshua is comfortable. He speaks kindly to you and makes you smile.

You begin to wonder how amongst all these angels, there exists a person like Yoon Jeonghan.

*****

Wonwoo used the new game as leverage to guilt you into coming over quite often in the following weeks. You hadn’t realized how much you had limited your time at the dorm until you started going consistently once more. It was nice being able to spend time with the boys again. You hated that Jeonghan had become such an unbearable presence that it affected your relationship with the rest of your friends.

But ever since you had started to stand your ground and talk back, he had finally begun to avoid you. You supposed it was only fun for him when you sat there and took it.

It didn’t stop the two of you from bickering when you saw each other, but now both of you preferred to avoid each other instead of Jeonghan seeking you out to tease you.

The following weeks of visiting were fairly comfortable. Whenever Jeonghan wasn’t around, you got to spend plenty of time with the other boys and your brother. Plus, the new video game was even better than expected.

Jeonghan’s presence slowly became uncomfortable in a different way.

Instead of being smug and overbearing, he became strangely quiet around you. His facial expressions became more serious as he sent genuine glares your way before letting out bitter remarks and going on his way.

It made you even angrier.

Who the hell was he to torture you all this time and then act like a kicked puppy when you finally fought back???

Your anger and his bitterness slowly escalated the tension between you two. Although they were happening less frequently, the arguments between you became more serious and almost hurtful.

Whatever, you told yourself, he could do as he pleased, you wouldn’t let it affect you anymore.

*****

You stared down at your phone screen. Why? Why did it have to be here, while you were at the dorm?

The call was only five minutes. They didn’t even do it in person. Of course, they had warned that because of hard times, there’d be lay-offs soon. But they couldn’t even do it in person? And all you got was a simple “Sorry, come collect your things on Monday”??? You were a hard worker, passionate about the job, more efficient than most of your coworkers and this is how they treated you???

A part of you could’ve guessed, many of the employees your age had gotten in because of nepotism. But you didn’t want to believe that they’d just brush off all your years of hard work just to avoid stepping on the toes of higher-ups who had relative connections hired at the company.

You squatted against the wall of the hallway, still too in shock to move.

So, you simply sat in silence, for what seemed like forever.

“You good?” you had never felt worse than the exact moment his voice reached your ears.

“Go away,” you said sternly, knowing you’d be crying soon.

“Geez, forgive me for asking,” Jeonghan responds before turning to walk away. He stops abruptly after you sniffle. “So, you’re not ok?”

“No offense, Jeonghan,” you say hating the way your voice is shaking, “but you are the last person I want to speak to right now.”

There’s a heavy silence for a long moment. You silently pray that he’ll just leave. “Do you want me to get your brother?” he asks lightly.

You shake your head, “No, I don’t want to ruin the mood. I’m going to go home, just tell him I had a stomach ache.” You push yourself up and begin to walk briskly towards the door.

To your surprise, Jeonghan reaches out to stop you. You stare at his hand wrapped around your arm and wonder if you’ve ever even allowed him to touch you before. “It’s already late, let me give you a ride.”

You pull his hand off of you, “No, thanks.” You grab your coat and start to dig around in your purse to make sure you have all of your belongings.

“[Y/N],” Jeonghan’s voice rings clear in your head despite your brain feeling fuzzy. You don’t want to look at him. Who is this person that’s showing concern and speaking kindly? You don’t like it. It feels fake. It feels like a predator playing with a wounded prey. You’re just waiting for him to laugh or make a remark or do anything to make you feel worse than you already do.

But Jeonghan simply grabs the keys laying on the front table, grabs your arm once more, and leads you out to the car.

*****

The ride is suffocatingly silent. You wished he’d at least turn on some music to cover up the sound of your crying, but you remained in the quiet. You rolled down your window and stuck your head out, letting the warm night air and sound of wind comfort you. Since you were turned away from him completely, you didn’t see Jeonghan glancing over at you throughout the drive.

You couldn’t have left that car faster when you finally pulled up to your apartment.

To your dismay, Jeonghan also gets out, apparently intent on walking you up.

“You don’t have to-” you start but abruptly stop when he gives you a look telling you an emotion you don’t quite understand.

Jeonghan finally speaks when you’re riding the elevator up to your floor, “I don’t really mean it, you know.”

“Mean what?” you say weakly, starting to feel the exhaustion from crying so much.

“When I talk to you like that… I mean when I’m… rude,” he trails off, running a hand through his hair. “Usually it’s just teasing, but obviously I went too far with you. And I didn’t realize it until you started showing how upsetting it was for you. I should’ve known before that, though.”

“You seemed ruder after I started talking back,” you say, confused.  

“I was just being petty and defensive. I kept telling myself things like: It’s her fault, isn’t it? She should have made it more clear from the beginning that it was upsetting her. How was I supposed to know? But that was just me being immature, I should’ve just talked to you.”

“Is that an… apology, Yoon Jeonghan?” you ask, letting yourself be a little smug.

For the first time, you get a genuine smile out of him, “Maybe.”

There’s more silence for a second.

“It’s a two-way road, though,” you say finally.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“I mean, I could have also come and talked to you instead of letting things escalate,” you say. “I played some part in all of this… unpleasantness. You can’t entirely blame yourself.”

Jeonghan smiles again, reaching out to ruffle your hair the way Seungcheol always did. Then he takes a dramatic deep breath and rolls his shoulders, “There! That feels better, doesn’t it? We can finally be friends!”

You roll your eyes in a playful manner, but you feel it too, a weight has been lifted.

*****

Wonwoo showed up at your door in the middle of the night that night. You took one look at his frantic face and groaned, “I told Jeonghan I would tell you myself.”

“You should have told me immediately!” your brother pouts as he passes you to walk into your apartment.

“I didn’t want to worry you so late, especially when all of you were having a good time. I was going to tell you tomorrow,” you close the door behind him. You watch as he turns on the TV and starts picking through your pantry. “Hmmm, yes it seems quite clear that you came here out of concern for me,” you can’t help but use a sarcastic tone.

Wonwoo sends a glare your way as he grabs snacks and settles on the couch. You sit next to him, grabbing your fair share of the food. You try to keep your attention on the show, but the feeling of Wonwoo staring straight at you is distracting.

“I’m fine, you don’t have to worry,” you sigh.

“Really? Because Jeonghan described you as an emotional wreck,” your brother scoffs.

“I was just shocked and upset. I’ll be ok. I have a good resume, I can find a new job,” you insist.

“I keep telling you, you don’t have to work-”

“I don’t care how much you make,” you interrupt. “I’m not going to depend on you. It’ll just make trouble for both of us.”

“Will you at least let me help out if there’s any problems before you find a new job?” Wonwoo kicks at your leg.

“Like I would even tell you if I was having trouble,” you return his kick.

“You just can’t help but be difficult,” your brother complains quietly.

You let the sound of the show take over the room for a few minutes. “I do have good news,” you finally speak up, wanting to give your brother some peace of mind about something. “Me and Jeonghan made up. We figured it out.”

Wonwoo bolts upright with a grin on his face, “Really??? It’s really all good now?”

“100%,” you say, unable to stop yourself from pinching your brother’s cheeks, finding his excited expression cute.

“Let’s celebrate soon then! We can have a big gaming party with all of the boys!” You agree to your brother’s proposal. You feel content in this moment, knowing you’ll wake up in the morning in an uncomfortable position, immediately kick at his legs and tell him to get his stinky feet away from you.

*****

Your time at the dorm increases with the weight of you and Jeonghan’s rivalry being gone. You’re enjoying getting to know him as a friend instead of constantly walking on eggshells around him. Going to visit the boys is once again a happy and comfortable experience.

You hadn’t realized how much Jeonghan had affected you until you two had worked things out. The world felt light again and you could breathe, no longer in constant worry of possibly ruining things between your brother and his bandmates.

You hoped things would remain without complications for a long time.

*****

“Seungkwan, you should come with us!” you begged. “The carnival only comes once a year; you can’t miss it!”

“But it’s so crowded and there are screaming kids everywhere,” Seungkwan complains.

“Oh, whatever,” Soonyoung interjects. “You love it every time we go.”

Seungkwan gives Soonyoung a look that has you laughing through your mouthful of ramen. “Oh, shoot,” you say feeling liquid start to dribble down your chin. “Can I get a napkin?”

“Here’s one,” you hear Jeonghan’s voice as he enters the room. You reach out to grab the napkin as Seungkwan and Soonyoung continue bickering. But instead of handing it to you, Jeonghan extends his hand not holding the napkin towards you. His fingers come to lightly touch your chin and turn you towards him. Jeonghan wipes your face with the napkin himself, taking the time to make sure it’s really all clean. “All better,” he smiles at you, running his thumb across your chin to check its cleanliness one last time.

As Jeonghan walks away, you turn to see if Seungkwan or Soonyoung saw what had happened. They were still arguing, though. The boys showing you physical touch or affection wasn’t really all that uncommon. But for some reason, the way Jeonghan had grabbed your chin just now… Why was your heart beating so hard?

*****

You couldn’t stop yourself from dragging Wonwoo all over the carnival. It was nice to get out in this environment, the lights, the laughter, the food, the games, the rides. You wanted to do everything, but not before you looked at all there was and took in the spectacle.

You could hear all the boys laughing excitedly behind you, you knew they’d want to try everything as well. You shook your head at Seungkwan’s bright expression, you couldn’t wait to play the ‘I told you so’ card later.

The night was a blur. All of you ran from games to rides to snacks and then all over again.

You couldn’t help but stop completely in your tracks as you passed a booth with a giant stuffie of your favorite animal as a prize. Your fascination with the plushie doesn’t go unnoticed.

“You want me to win it for you?” Jeonghan’s voice is suddenly speaking right into your ear. You jump after realizing he was right behind you. You grip your cotton candy a bit tighter and shyly nod. The way Jeonghan grins at you fills you with warmth.

You watch him walk over to the booth. His light hair and pink shirt were illuminated by the soft glow of the surrounding lights. Jeonghan takes his wallet out and hands some bills to the vendor. You step up closer to stand next to him as he plays the game. He laughs as he chats back and forth with the vendor. You watch in awe as Jeonghan clears the game, no problem.

“Anything from the top shelf!” the vendor exclaims happily.

“That one please,” Jeonghan points right at the stuffie you had been staring at.

“It’ll be a wonderful memory for your girlfriend,” the vendor smiles as he hands the prize directly to you.

“Oh, I’m-”

“Of course!” Jeonghan interrupts you almost instantly, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and starting to pull you away from the game. “We’ll cherish it for a long time! Thanks for the game!” The vendor waves kindly as you two walk away. After a moment, Jeonghan pulls his arm off of you, “Sorry, sometimes it’s just easier to agree than explain, you know?” You nod in agreement. “Wait a second,” he stops you by putting his hands on your shoulders and standing in front of you. Before you can ask what’s wrong, his hand comes up towards your face as it had earlier that day. He quickly swipes his thumb across your lips before pulling to back to show you remnants of your cotton candy. “Do you always eat this messily?” he grins and then, to your surprise, puts his thumb in his mouth to clean it off.

You stand there, frozen, unable to really comprehend what just happened as Jeonghan walks away towards the other boys.

“For the second time today?” Soonyoung is suddenly standing next to you.

“So you did see what happened earlier!” you exclaimed, hitting his arm lightly. “It was weird, right?!”

“Can’t tell yet,” Soonyoung replies cocking his head to the side and putting his hands in his pocket. “Sometimes Jeonghan is just sort of naturally flirtatious. But I’m not sure about you. I figured since you two didn’t get along at first, it’d take him awhile to warm up to you at that level. He seemed to get comfortable with you quite quickly.” Soonyoung turns and shrugs at you after his words.

“You’re no help at all,” you say emotionlessly. There’s a pause before both you and Soonyoung slowly look at each other and laugh at your quip.

You decide to brush off your new concerns about Jeonghan and enjoy this night with the boys. The vendor was right, it was a good memory, and you’re sure it’d last you for your whole lifetime.

*****

You hate yourself a bit for it, but you once again seem to be avoiding Jeonghan. He had made you so nervous that day, and the way your heart pounded… You didn’t want to get sucked into having a silly crush on him if he wasn’t actually trying to flirt with you.

No, from now on, interactions with Jeonghan would be friendly but short and appropriate.

You were stupid to think he wouldn’t notice.

It wasn’t long before there came a night when Jeonghan insisted that he be the one to give you a ride home. You couldn’t help the way your nerves spiked at his determination to be the one to take you. You knew he most likely wanted to talk to you about your sudden distance from him.

The ride itself was nice, Jeonghan rolled the windows down for you, remembering that you enjoyed the warm night air of summer. You talked comfortably with one another. Jeonghan was always able to make you smile so easily.

You couldn’t stop yourself from staring at him. He was just wearing a t-shirt and sweats but… His blonde hair being illuminated in the moonlight as he ran his hands through it and his bright smile as he laughed...

He really was beautiful.

Once again, Jeonghan came with you to walk you to your door. And once again, he finally spoke up in the elevator, “You’ve been avoiding me, sweetheart.” Your heart drops to your stomach at the nickname. “Is everything ok? Did I do something to make you mad again?”

You quickly shake your head and pull your hands up to shake them as well, “No! Not at all!”

“You sure?” he insists.

“Yoon Jeonghan, you really don’t think I’d tell you if you did?” you say.

He giggles, “Yeah, that’s true. You’d let me know the moment I messed up, wouldn’t you?” The elevator dings and opens up to your floor. You and Jeonghan step out together. “Is everything else ok, then? You don’t start avoiding people for no reason.”

You nod as casually as possible, “Everything is great.” Your tone isn’t convincing and Jeonghan nudges you. “I guess, I just got… nervous? I mean one moment we were like enemies and then the next we were suddenly really… close, and-”

“I made you uncomfortable?” Jeonghan’s voice is slightly panicked.

“No, you did nothing wrong! It’s all on me, I just got caught up in my emotions and-” you stop abruptly when you realize what you were about to do.

Jeonghan nods quietly as if to say he understands, but what it is he understands, you’re not sure. “Is it ok for us to remain close, or do you want me to back off?”

“I don’t want any more distance between us, but…” you trail off.

“But, what?” he prompts you again.

“I don’t want to get the wrong idea about anything…” you say, finally reaching your door.

Jeonghan watches as you slowly unlock your door and push it open, “You haven’t gotten the wrong idea about anything.” He avoids eye contact when you look up at him.

You’re shocked by his forwardness. But once he voices his thoughts out loud, you once again feel the feeling of a weight being lifted.

Jeonghan gestures for you to step inside, catching your arm once you fully pass him. He pulls you back to him, close enough for him to lean in and leave a quick kiss on your cheek, “Night, babe, I’ll see you later.”

You stand there, completely still, staring at your door that had shut closed in front of you. You can feel heat rise from the tip of your toes all the way up to your ears. You finally let yourself fall into a squatting position, covering your face with your hands, and letting out a squeal.

*****

Jeonghan invites you to meet up outside of the dorm. It’s a cute little coffee shop at a quiet part of the city. You’re already sitting when he walks in. Maybe one day, you won’t be completely caught off guard by his beauty… but today is not that day.

His whole person is bathed in the glow of the early morning light as he approaches you, the softest, most genuine smile gracing his face.

“No, don’t get up,” he says when you try to leave your chair, “I need to go off and order anyways.” Jeonghan leans down to kiss your forehead firmly. “I just wanted to come say hi first,” he whispers, holding your face close to his.

Your first date sets a wonderful precedent to the rest of your relationship. Jeonghan gets your heart racing with flirty comments and sweet touches. But he also makes you feel calm and content, easily keeping a smile on your face. You just feel… good throughout it all.

You insist on walking him back to the dorm, since they had schedules that day.

“So, we’ll be doing this again?” Jeonghan asks hopefully, as you reach the front door.

“Definitely,” you nod enthusiastically up at him, wondering how you had ever managed to despise the man that made you feel so whole and happy.

Jeonghan looks utterly happy and a tiny bit nervous as he stares down at you. His hand reaches up to brush back your hair before settling firmly against your face. Jeonghan looks at you so fondly as he leans in. His lips connect to yours… so softly… so sweetly. You can feel his nose nudge against your face to push it into a preferred position. He pulls back slightly after every little kiss to let out laughter so sweet, it sounds like it should be coming from the mouth of an angel. But he’s never far away for long, reconnecting to you quickly every time. You let him take the lead, allowing his lips to take care of yours, giving them the sweetest kind of attention. He pulls back for a moment longer to nuzzle his nose against yours, an action that has you gripping his shirt to keep him close. His hands keep themselves entertained by running across your face or through your hair.

He’s going back in to kiss you once again when he front door of the dorm opens, leaving you caught in the act. Wonwoo stares at you two for a long moment before making a single comment that causes you and Jeonghan to laugh.

“You know, when I said I wanted you two to have a better relationship, this isn’t exactly what I meant.”

[got-svt]

radio star: a svt social media au

summary: when yn accepts a job at her campus’ radio station her first year in uni, she didn’t expect she’d be anonymously singing stressed out university students to sleep. now, a year and a half in, she didn’t expect that there’d be people trying to figure out her identity either. genre: college au, slice of life, humor, fluff, angst pairing: ??? x f!reader

(masterlist)

warning: please don’t read unless you’ve read/been to part thirty-four !! this is the endgame point so tread cautiously ! but if you have read it or you came from there, then…enjoy;)

part thirty-five: slowly, surely

“Yeah, I’ll go.”

Joshua’s eyes lit up at at your reply despite the fact that he wanted to make it seem like he wasn’t utterly delighted at your decision to join him. He holds the door open for you, trying to make sure the the faint red that flushed his cheeks wasn’t in the least bit noticeable as you walk past him.

It was significantly darker now, not a single trace of the sun, streets illuminated by bright lampposts that lined the path and the faint early evening moonlight. A gentle breeze blows through his hair, buildings towered over the two of you, students excited to make their way home walk past, you run into tired professors just wanting to get some well-deserved rest.

There was always something quite alluring in the way the campus felt in the early evening, shrouded by the eager desire to go out with friends or take a break from academics. It was evident in the excited chatter from a few feet behind you, voices animatedly talking about a movie he had never heard about.

There was a small smile on your lips, and Joshua couldn’t help but wonder what exactly was going through your mind. Were you thinking about him? He shook his head, not meaning to be too presumptuous. Still, he couldn’t help the slight tug on his heartstring sat the thought of you thinking of him — that he could possibly be reason that the corners of your mouth twitched upwards in a soft smile.

Joshua didn’t know what to say, walking side by side with you in the early evening as he lead the way to his favorite takeout place. Your hands would sometimes accidentally brush against his, it took everything in him not to take your hand and hold it in his. He wondered how it must feel, to feel your touch against his. Did your hands hold the same warmth you did? Would it provide him the same level of comfort that your very presence did?

He internally groaned, he shouldn’t be having such thoughts. Not when he promised that everything between the two of you would be paused while you figured your own emotions out. Joshua respected that, of course he did. He didn’t want you to feel any sort of discomfort in being with him, and if he would have to spend the next few months trying to prove to you he was sincere in efforts towards you, he would do so. And he’d do it happily too.

But there was also small pangs of pain in his chest, remembering the hurt he caused you, the one that lead to your blooming relationship being paused in the first place. He didn’t mean to fall for you the way that he did, he didn’t mean to do it so quickly too. Joshua wasn’t the type to fall hard and fast, at least that was what he thought until you came barrelling into his life — all smiles, red cheeks at his attempts at teasing you, and playful shoves at his shoulders. But he also knew you were possibly one of the strongest people he had ever met. Everything you had gone through the past couple of weeks proved nothing but that, he couldn’t help but fall for you more in the process.

And no part of him expected that you would be moonriver either, the person behind the voice he admired for so long. Joshua didn’t know how he felt when he first found out. He didn’t even know he was blankly staring at a wall until Jeonghan threw a pillow at him, snapping him out of his trance.

Sure, he was happy, he was able to meet the person he admired but did it change the way he felt about you — Yn — the person he had gotten to know the past few weeks. Joshua didn’t know anything about moonriver, he only knew her voice. But Yn, he knew her beyond what she sounded like when she sang. Joshua knew her personality — her intelligence, wit, her kindness and sincerity. He actually knew what you looked like — how your brows furrowed when you got annoyed, the pot on your lips when you got sad, the crinkle in your eyes when you smiled. Sure, he didn’t know you as well as other people did, but he was more than willing to learn. 

Joshua loved you, that much he was sure of. No one could possibly tell him otherwise. 

“You okay?” Your voice snapped him out of his train of thought, his gaze shifting ever so slightly to you before going back on the road ahead, “You’ve been quiet all this time. I’m not sure if that’s entirely like you.”

A hand makes its way to the back of his head as he let out a nervous chuckle, “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

You hummed, tilting your head to the side in the process, clearly skeptical of his answer, “Are you sure about that?”

Joshua wasn’t sure how to answer anymore, at least without giving away the thoughts that revealed how strongly he felt for you, so he responded with a question of his own instead, “Is there any reason why you came to our dorm? I appreciate it, but it’s usually me and Jeonghan who would show up to your place unexpected.”

“Oh.” Your voice had gotten much quieter, looking down at your feet, “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Me?” Joshua replied, brows raising up in shock, “What did you need to talk about?”

You opened your mouth to answer before closing it again, the words escaping you entirely. You stopped walking, Joshua moving a few steps ahead of you before he noticed that you were no longer matching his stride. He stopped walking as well, turning to look at you, concern so very clearly etched on his face — it almost made you feel guilty for worrying him. 

Lucky for the two of you had stopped in front of a bench, the warm orange glow of the lamppost that stood a couple of feet beside it. Joshua tilted his head towards the bench, implying that you sit there with him for whatever it was you wanted to talk about with him. A sigh escaped your lips as he made your way over and sat down, with Joshua following you. He looked at you one more time in concern before sitting, leaving a bit of space between the two of you. 

“You look like you had just seen a ghost, whatever we’re talking about must be pretty serious, huh?” Joshua spoke, offering you a small smile in the process, breaking the silence that once again descended over the two of you. But you couldn’t meet his eyes, still focused on your hands neatly folded on your lap. Joshua’s smile falters, speaking to you in the softest tone he could muster, “What’s wrong?”

“I want to be with you.” You whispered, just loud enough for Joshua to hear. You didn’t know why you were nervous now, not when you practically sprinted to his dorms the second you ended your call with Wonwoo. Maybe the reality of the situation, the gravity of what it meant to finally vocalize your feelings for him was finally settling on you. “I enjoyed the time we spent together, I didn’t want it to end.”

Joshua felt his heart skip a beat, but how come you sounded so dejected when the words left your lips? Why couldn’t you look at him? This was a good thing, wasn’t it? His heart shattered just as quickly as it skipped, voice now as quiet and as unsure as yours, “Why do you seem so sad about it?”

“I’m not sad about it, more scared actually…” You mumbled, admitting your feelings not only to Joshua, but to yourself as well. Feelings you tried so hard to ignore and suppress, making it seem like they weren’t that serious by convincing yourself you felt something else for other people too. 

“What are you scared of?”

“That I’m not going to be enough for you. That you created this idea of what moonriver would be like in your head and I’m going to end up disappointing you. What if you get bored or tired and leave?” You didn’t realize that you had started crying, a few tears escaping your eyes but you tried your best to blink them back. You didn’t mean to sound so dejected, or weak for that matter.

Joshua couldn’t believe what he was hearing, was this the reason you were holding back on being with him? He couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty too, just because he knew that he loved you didn’t mean that you were magically going to know it too. It’s not like you knew how to read his mind. 

His hand makes its way to your face, gently forcing you to look up at him. Joshua felt an ache in his chest at the sight of your tears, not realizing that he had caused you this much pain and uncertainty. “I’m sorry.”

Joshua’s voice broke at the very last syllable, causing you to widen your eyes in surprise. You didn’t expect an apology, let alone one at this level of sincerity. He wiped away your tears with his thumb before it moves back down to his side.

“I’m really sorry for making you feel like my feelings for you aren’t genuine, that I’m with you just because you’re moonriver. Because that couldn’t be further from the truth. Yeah, asking you out a few days after I found out about you being moonriver wasn’t the best move, but believe me when I tell you that what I feel is for you, Yn.”

“Then why did you do it, ask me out when you found out?”

Joshua wanted to come up with a justification, he searched the deepest recesses of his mind for any sort of reason, only to come up empty handed. He didn’t know why he had done it either, in the moment, it just felt right. There was nothing to it other than that. “I don’t know.”

Your face fell, features downcast as your gaze landed back on your lap. Joshua immediately notices and speaks up before another seed of doubt could plant itself in your mind.

“But I do know that what I feel for you and the admiration I have for moonriver are two different things. Yes, I do like moonriver’s voice, but I fell in love with you. I knew I had feelings for you before I even found out. I would’ve fallen for you regardless of the fact that you’re moonriver. How could I not? You’re kind, funny, smart, and absolutely beautiful. When I’m with you, you make me feel like I’m walking on air. I’m constantly afraid my heart is going to beat out of my chest. I know it’s something I’ve said before, but I’ll keep saying it as long as there is still some doubt in your mind about what I feel for you.” 

You didn’t know what to say, you wanted to say something — at least you felt like you should. It’s hard to believe that this was the same man who pranked you in a coffee shop weeks ago, the one you tried to strangle within a few days of meeting him. He was different, no longer flirty and playful, but impassioned and earnest. You thought about the past few days, how he found ways to constantly assure you that he was there for you, looked for ways to make you feel better without you even having to ask for it. 

“Okay.” You spoke, startling him. Joshua was so sure you’d reject him, just because you liked him or wanted to be with him didn’t mean you’d actually do it. You had to think of yourself first, and he understood that. But when you said the next few words, the feeling of heartache that slowly started to consume him started to disappear. 

“We’ll unpause.”

“Thank you,” Joshua smiled, almost breathless. He brings your forehead to his, “and we’ll go at your pace too.”

Joshua knew he was in love with you, he knew that he fell too hard and possibly a little too fast, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was what he felt for you, something he’s sure was more real than anything in the world. The pace in your relationship would have to be slower than most, building trust and having moments of constant reassurance along the way. But Joshua believed in the intensity and the sincerity of what he felt, not minding that he had a long way to go before convincing you. He knew that slowly, but surely, you would come to believe it too. 

And eventually, you did. 

joshua’s epilogue <33

[leejungchans]

— our first snow.

word count: 2.2k

pairing: dino (svt) x idol!oc (juliet)

warning(s): mentions of cyberbullying, allusions to stalking (dispatch yucky), mentions of the toxic/dark side of the kpop industry

genre: mostly fluff; slight angst (about idol life); crushes-to-lovers; idol au

notes: can be read as a standalone but you can refer to juliet’s masterlist for more info on her!! there may be some weather inaccuracies in this ahskhwjs please don’t be mad 😭 i live somewhere that never snows :(

summary: a confession is made during the first snowfall of 2021.

a/n: thank you to the anon who suggested a cute dino/juliet scenario 🥺💖 i hope you like this!!! thank you all for reading and have a nice day!!

Winter in Seoul is beautiful.

Even though she’s been living in Korea for six, almost seven years, Juliet thinks she can never get tired of seeing snow. Something about it is just so utterly magical and charming, like being in a Christmas card. Sure, it’s freezing and the snow sticks to everything—her hair, parka, boots, even her lashes, but it’s still one of her favourite things about living in Seoul as it’s something she wouldn’t be able to experience back home in Sydney.

Juliet still remembers the first time she saw snow the year she moved to Korea and how transfixed she had been. Upon learning about this, Yeri, the first friend she made at her former company, immediately dragged her out to the sidewalk where snow elegantly floated down from the sky and would eventually envelop Seoul in a pristine white blanket.

Though, she supposes that at the moment, they’re experiencing more of a snowstorm than a snowfall. By the time she gets back to the dorm, her black parka will probably turn white from all the snow sticking to it. She wonders what her members are doing, if they’re also enjoying the snow or staying inside to shield themselves from the biting cold.

A particularly strong gust of wind blows the hood of Juliet’s parka off her head, causing snow to immediately start landing on her newly-dyed purple hair. A gloved hand instantly reaches up to tug the hood snuggly back into place.

The female idol turns to her companion and smiles, even though he can only see her eyes due to the both of them wearing black masks, but she hopes he notices her eye-smile anyways. “Thanks, Channie.”

Juliet watches Chan’s eyes curve into crescents, and she knows he’s also grinning behind his mask. They’re always so sparkly, she thinks, like they hold the entire universe in them.

“C’mon,” he says softly, “the snow’s getting heavier, better get you home before we’re both stranded out here.” Juliet doesn’t tell him, but she wouldn’t exactly complain even if they do get stranded as along as she’s with him.

Here being a mostly empty street with only the dim lights from the street lamps and the occasional passerby to keep them company. The passerby’s don’t pay them any attention either as they walk briskly in an attempt to get out of the snowstorm as quickly as possible. They did pass a few small groups of people who came outside to enjoy the first snow of the year, but those people too occupied with making snowmen and taking photos to notice that they had crossed paths with two idols.

Despite the late hour, Juliet doesn’t want to go home. At least, not yet. She knows she should be back by now, a few award shows are scheduled for the end of the month, not to mention ATEEZ’s upcoming projects and appearances, so she needs all the sleep she can get to keep up with the practising. Chan definitely also needs the rest, yet he insists on walking her back to her dorm after their late night out before going back to his.

Juliet knows they’re both physically exhausted from their hectic lifestyles, but it is the unspoken knowledge that this is the only time of the day they have for themselves, truly just themselves, that make them want to stay out longer to retain a sense of normalcy. Over the years, she’s learnt to cherish the short-lived moments away from the cameras and prying eyes.

It’s knowing this that causes her to deliberately slow down her walking pace, because she wants just a little more time where she is simply Baek Minyoung instead of Juliet from ATEEZ, spending time with her friend Lee Chan and not Dino from SEVENTEEN.

Juliet has always believed that she is someone who warms up to people slowly with the exception of her members. But then Chan came into her life and effortlessly wove himself into the seams of her heart in a blink of an eye.

She thought they’d just be friends, she really did, until she found herself falling for the energetic boy with a heart of gold after a few secret outings much like this one. Before either of them knew it, their friendship had morphed into something more, though neither dared to make a move. After all, they know how fragile idol relationships can be in their industry—interfering companies, invasions of privacy, the slew of hateful comments that every idol couple cannot escape...

There were many nights where Juliet stayed up late thinking if it was easier to stay friends than to take the next step. Idol friendships, even opposite-sex ones, typically last longer and are met with less scrutiny, after all.

In those times, she also found herself wondering what her life would’ve been if she never came to Seoul and became an idol. She never thought that at one point in her life, getting a coffee or grabbing lunch with friends without having people shove their phones in your face would be a luxury, but here she is.

But if she never came to Seoul, she never would’ve met her members, the kind staff members who treat her like a younger sister or daughter, the amazing friends she met along the journey of becoming an idol...

She also wouldn’t have met Chan, so there’s that.

She once asked him during a phone call last year how he and his members cope with all the downsides that come with being an idol.

“It’s a learning process every day, I think,” he says thoughtfully. “But in general, I try to tell myself that even though bad things happen, there’s still a lot of good that outweighs the bad...I get to meet amazing people and do what I love for a living...These things are what I will cherish forever, the bad things won’t last forever, and it doesn’t do me any good to lose myself in them instead of the good.”

Juliet thinks about that a lot. Not that he has to know, or he’ll never let her live it down.

“—say about the first snow?”

Chan turns to face her with confusion written across his face from a lack of response. She blinks blankly at him. “What?”

He shoots her a look of mock exasperation. “Were you seriously not listening to anything I was saying?” he whines.

“Sorry, I spaced out!”

“I’m not going to be friends with you if you keep ignoring me like this!”

Before the boy has time to react, Juliet grabs a handful of snow from the ground and launches it at his face. He splutters for a moment, brushing off the flakes from his mask as she cackles, but her glee doesn’t last long when he reaches for a larger handful of snow.

Juliet shrieks and jogs away from Chan, which isn’t as easy as she thought given that her feet keep sinking into the layer of snow. “Wait, wait! Stop! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

“You have to keep it down,” he laughs, gently tossing the snow back onto the ground, “we can’t be out here screaming and drawing Dispatch’s attention.” His tone is light and teasing, but the mention of the news—no, gossip—outlet makes her wrinkle her nose in distaste.

Though she can’t help but find it funny that if someone from Dispatch is actually currently following them—and she hopes they’re not because, hello? What happened to privacy and human decency?—all they’d get would be footage of them throwing snow at each other.

“You’re right,” Juliet says as they continue walking, “let’s not give them more business. What were you saying earlier, by the way?”

“I asked if you know what people here say about the first snow.”

Of course she does. Even if it has never been brought up in the dramas or movies she watched, her friends outside the industry have certainly gushed about the symbolism.

“No, not really,” she replies, feigning innocence. Playing dumb is fun, especially when you can also play the ‘foreigner card’ to back yourself up.

“It’s said that any lie you tell on the day of the first snowfall will be forgiven, and that any wish you make will be granted.”

Juliet frowns. “I thought that was for the first snowfall of the season, not the year. So technically, today’s not the first snow.”

Chan’s mouth drops open in a large ‘O’. “I thought you said you don’t know much about the first snow,” he accuses before shoving her lightly.

“Ah-ah-ah, you can’t be mad at me! You said any lie told today will be forgiven!”

“You’re the one who said today doesn’t count!”

“Okay,” Juliet relents, “this can be our thing, then. We can have two first snows each year.”

He laughs, and she can’t help but admire the sound of it. It’s just so contagious and never fails to put her in a good mood. “Deal.”

They keep walking until her building is in view. Admittedly, it’s a risky move to have him walk her all the way to the building’s entrance, as it’s known that people tend to wait outside idols’ dorms hoping to catch a glimpse of them, but Chan insisted that he didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of her walking alone in the dark at this hour.

“You know what else people say about the first snow?” Chan’s voice loses its usual playful edge. Instead, it sounds far softer and might’ve even betrayed a sense of nervousness.

Juliet doesn’t respond, but she turns to face his side profile to assure him that she’s listening. He keeps looking down at the ground, so she decides to silently admire the straight slope of his nose and the sharp angle of his jawline.

“People say that if you confess to someone during the first snow, you’ll stay together for a long time.”

“Is this your way of saying that you want to be with me for a long time?” she teases, but her grin drops when Chan looks at her with a solemn expression. “Oh. Oh. You’re being serious.”

He huffs out a quiet laugh at her wide eyes. “I know we’ve talked about this before, but what would you say if I told you I want to be with you? Officially, I mean.”

What would she say? A million thoughts are running through her mind, and she feels as though she’s been struck by lightning. How would the boys react? Their second year since debut was only a few months ago, would they think it’s too early? Would they be upset with her? Should she tell her company or let them find out? Would they tell her to break it off if they knew?

What if they break up? Will they still stay friends after that? Idol relationships can crumble easily given the nature of the industry and its habit of selling the fantasy of idols being ‘available’. Ten fingers wouldn’t be enough to count all the couples who broke up due to the pressures that come with this job—hectic schedules, obsessive fans, meddling companies, cyberbullying, the list can go on forever.

Is it worth it to take the risk when there seems to be a million reasons suggesting that it’d be better to stay friends?

But what does she want? Does she want to live basing every decision off of appeasing people who only know her from what they see on a screen?

Or does she want to live unapologetically with the people she loves and cares about, even if she has to risk her reputation and image simply for being happy?

Her answer couldn’t be clearer.

“I’d say that I’d like that a lot. Unless you’re secretly playing a prank on me.”

To say that Chan is flooded with relief would be a massive understatement. “You scared me!” he whines as he clutches his heart. “You weren’t saying anything for so long and I thought you were thinking about how to reject me!”

“I’m sorry,” Juliet giggles, eyes shining up at him. “Forgive me?”

A dramatic, reluctant sigh. “I guess I can make an exception for you,” he finally says.

Despite their masks hiding most of their faces, their eye-smiles tell the other just how happy they both are.

Deep down, Juliet knows that a simple snowfall cannot guarantee a fulfilling, long-lasting relationship. Perhaps a few years later, or even shorter if they’re unlucky, they may find themselves dealing with imminent heartbreak and separation.

But when her gloved hand—gloves courtesy of Chan because he somehow knew she’d forget her own— reaches for his, interlacing naturally as though they’ve done it a hundred times prior to today, she hopes that the universe will grant her silent wish that they can stay like this for a long, long time; that no matter how much they and their environments may change, they will still be able to find happiness and comfort within each other. She thinks it’ll come true.

After all, it is the first snow. Their first snow.

— bonus!!

a/n: eeeeeeeeppppp ngl this is,,,kinda cute if i do say so myself ;-; and yes this is also indulging my wish to have a cute boy (preferably park seonghwa or lee chan) confess to me on a snowy day ahdjhwjs 😔 again, thank you for reading and take care!!

feedback is always and highly appreciated!! whether it’s a reblog, a reply, or a short ask, it would mean the world to me 🥺💗 and remember that you are more than welcome to chat with me about anything in my asks!!

[sanstropfremir]

Hey! I know that seventeen isn’t really on your radar but have you seen/heard Woozi’s solo Ruby? I really liked the music video especially the scenes with the models like they really leaned into the fact that he’s super short by putting him in a sunken part of the set and having models (I think they’re actually a dance group but they’re supposed to be models so same same) in heels walk around him. I think you’ll really like the outfits he wore in the mv! The zebra striped suit is just *chef’s kiss* and I love the jacket he wears in the yellow set with the flowers.

i have! i do watch svt releases when they come out because i'm casually hoping something will hit as hard as don't wanna cry but alas, perhaps it wasn't meant to be. and when i heard there was gonna be another solo debut from them i was looking forward to it at least for the production design alone, and i wasn't disappointed in that regard! the mv looks really good and i do love the styling! my favourite is the red velvet suit, because i'm a sucker for velvet (it's one of my favourite textiles), but the zebra stripe suit is excellent also! i don't love the branded stuff as much because it's not any of the interesting luxury branding. i didn't like that particular line from balenciaga and i don't like that logo print from gucci either; it's so specific to like....equestrian club aesthetic and old money that seeing it in any context other than that just takes me right out of it.

obviously it's got that hybe money so the production looks really sharp and i like the set design a lot, especially the fact that designer+director actually took his height into account for framing, which is VERY uncommon in kpop because all these boys are so insecure about being average height. i also really liked the shot with the lasers on the bedazzled guitar strap, even though it probably blinded a few people while they shot it. i did also watch the special stage he did on mcountdown and they built such a great replica set for it and then just.....didn't use it. like it really screams that they they didn't have a performance director who understands how proper stage blocking works. choreographing movements for dance on stage and choreographing like, 'normal person movements' on stage are two different skills and they aren't totally interchangeable. there's a lot of weird little things about where you stand and what direction you face and why and how you make movements in order to maximize the gesture, whereas with something like kpop dance it's self-contained unit that can be slapped onto any flat surface. like they had him stand up centre, and then walk down centre, and then walk back up centre only to change to another location where he also stands centre? c'mon. if you want him to look like a rock star get him to move like one. they built runways onto the damn stage, let him use them! i also don't like that they had a location change? like it's neither earned nor used. the whole appeal of a music show is to see the performer like, actually do the thing? in one go? obvs music show stages are edited together from the best takes but they still release fancams where you can see the long division. when you have a location change AND an outfit change it basically tosses that illusion out the window, and they don't even pay off the change for a climatic moment! like he goes from a huge set to a tiny one! why!! so they can show him not playing the guitar solo??? again, if you want to style him as a rock star, just do the rock star set up for one stage; let him bounce around and scream!! where is the character!! and if they want to do a proper stage like they did for the first two thirds then have him do more interesting movements! they had a great setup for having him walk the paths in between the dancers that would have been so fun and playful, but instead they just recreated the mv but with a lower budget and less interestingly. i know that music shows are tv programs but deep down it bothers me greatly that they overuse crazy camerawork to 'make it interesting to watch' when they could instead be showcasing actually good blocking and charismatic performances. it really does disappoint me to no end that sk has such a huge musical theatre industry and there's SO little crossover into how idol performances are constructed and supported. sorry not sorry i'm going off about this but this is the first non-dancing solo debut i've seen in a while and i get to yell about theatre stuff for once instead of dance choreo. also like. they have hybe money now. we saw what hoshi did with it. you don't have to be relegated to having boring movements if you can't dance.

[thekidultlife]

Through the Seasons | Seungcheol (COMPLETED)

Author’s Note: 

Please read this before continuing on to the fic! 😊 If you’ve read the first part of this story which I posted in a rush during my birthday, please. scrap. all. your. thoughts. about. it. Having completed it now, I truly regretted rushing to post it just to meet a deadline; that won’t happen again lol. 😂 I plan to write more slowly and carefully from now on because I want to be able to look back and read my stories without too much regret over how I could have written them better. I hope that you enjoy this one, and please look forward to this series! My plan is to alternate writing “The Return Of Superman”, “The And” and “Through The Seasons” during the coming weeks/months.

Birthday Greetings: This fic is one that I wrote as a gift, not only to our amazing SVT leader and my ultimate bias who deserves THE ENTIRE WORLD, Seungcheol (🥺❤), but also to my good friend, @peekabooseoksoon! Belated Happy Birthday! 🙆‍♀️ I hope you get to love this fic!!! 😄

Tags: I’d like to mention @coupsiekkuma, @minkwans, @eclvpe, @haven-cove​,  @nrhfzh, @iwalktheline97, @woozisnoots, @shoshishua, @toxicsocial, @elcie-chxn, @yslmingyux, @gostickywombat, @uglyratlmao, and @starlightshua!

Plot: Two people form memories, navigate through hardships and—most of all—learn to love each other more through the seasons of their relationship.

Warnings: Marked 18+ for suggestive content

Word Count: 10,386

1 | summer, as the night wind whispered

Bright lights flooded the town square through the colorful lanterns that hung in lines and swayed idly. The air was filled with the smell of mingling perfumes, food and beer. The cobbled streets were packed with people, of different ages, walking through the stalls that sold native handicrafts and trinkets. Tables that were laid out in the center of the square kept getting occupied as the twilight dissipated into a dark sky full of stars. Music from guitars, bagpipes and dulcimers wafted around, competing with the blare of jukeboxes playing songs from eras long past, classics that everyone still loved to sing and dance to.

One month ago, no one would have thought that this town would be celebrating like this.

A violent storm had hit and destroyed almost everything in its path, and a sense of despair had engulfed the people living there. The winds and the heavy rain had been bad, but the landslides really made things worse. Even at present, as the town held its celebration, helicopters could be seen hovering above the mountains that surrounded the town proper, their searchlights flashing here and there, aiding rescuers who made their way around the dark, slippery terrain, looking for missing people or houses that had vanished underneath mounds of trees, dark rock and soil.

Despite the tragedy and the uncertainty that hung in the air, however, the townspeople had been resilient. Pooling their resources, and seeking help from neighboring towns and cities, they managed to recover most of their losses and found cause to celebrate as houses, businesses and landmarks began to be restored.

Sitting on one of the tables, watching the merriment all around them, were three men, sipping on their beers, wearing jackets that identified them as university students hailing from a city five hours away. They, along with a group of other volunteer workers from their uni, had come to help and were now celebrating the last day of volunteer work. Just across the street, by the small parking lot of the town’s only hotel, vehicles were lined up, readied for the departure in the early morning. These three men expected to be on the first bus going home tomorrow.

The first two sitting across each other kept commenting idly about how hectic the day had been, but the third guy, nursing his drink close to his lips, was scanning the flow of people, his huge, sparkling eyes flitting to and fro. He could not process what his friends were talking about. He was too busy watching who came and went as the festivities rolled on.

“Choi Seungcheol, have you found her yet?” Yoon Jeonghan asked, lazily grinning. His dark brown hair fell down his eyes and he raked them back with his fingers. He glanced at his friend before turning back to the buoyant scenery. A crowd seated on the table next to them roared with laughter.

“I haven’t,” Seungcheol replied lightly, taking another swig. “But I will.”

Seungcheol’s seemingly dogged determination made the guy sitting across Jeonghan chuckle. “This will be a very interesting night,” Hong Jisoo said softly, smirking at Jeonghan’s direction. “Cheol won’t let up finding this mystery woman.”

“I, for one, think that we’ve had an interesting day already,” Jeonghan answered dryly, leaning back on his metal chair, “and an uncomfortable one at that. I didn’t like the fact that we had to follow someone for a whole day, all because some guy couldn’t just walk up to her and ask her out.”

At that, Seungcheol turned to Jeonghan and glared at him playfully. “Shut up.”

“Cheol is acting funny,” Jeonghan teased. “Isn’t he, Jisoo-ya?” Jisoo laughed and clinked bottles with Jeonghan in agreement.

“I have my reasons,” Seungcheol said defensively, turning back to the crowd. “I couldn’t find the right timing.”

“Oooh,” Jeonghan cooed. “The right timing.”

“I said shut your trap, Jeonghan. I think you’re drunk.”

“I will be if you still don’t find her.”

“You could dance with some of our other friends out there while we wait.”

“You know I’m too tired for that.”

Jisoo laughed again. “You could not find the right timing? After all the days you’ve spent here?”

“Complete bull.” Jeonghan grinned.

Suddenly Seungcheol stood, setting his beer bottle down so hard on the wooden table that Jisoo and Jeonghan could not help but complain in unison about the abrupt movement. However, they quieted down when they saw Seungcheol’s expression.

“That’s her.” Seungcheol pointed somewhere in the throng of people, his eyes wide, his countenance suddenly alight and stone-cold sober. The night breeze blew on his close-cropped hair as he looked on. 

His words were almost drowned out by the cacophony of voices and music all around them, but Jisoo and Jeonghan looked at each other knowingly, hearing his words perfectly.

`“Well?” Jisoo brought his drink to his lips, eyeing Seungcheol with a devious glint in his eyes.

A few moments passed, with Seungcheol simply standing there.

The right timing.

He broke off into a run.

He ran past tables and stalls and dancing couples, startling people along the way. His feet took him flying across the cobbled streets lined with lanterns, towards a spot by the exit of the square where stalls sold summer flowers. His heart pounded within his chest as he sprinted, his eyes never leaving what they had been watching for throughout the young night.

As he ran, he forgot how silly he had felt when, exactly five nights ago, he had hopped onto one of the buses leaving campus for the volunteer program. His only reason for joining had been his need for an adventure away from the city. He would have no other time for anything extracurricular in the months to come. The bar exam was looming over his mind, and before he poured himself solely to the task of preparing for it, he wanted to get away.

He remembered how you had stretched out a hand to greet him even before sitting down beside him.

Hi. You had smiled and he had felt like he was staring at the sun as you told him your name. Classical composition. You?

Non-music major, he had replied with a quick, albeit apologetic smile to return yours. I got on this bus by mistake.

Oh, that’s okay, you had said good-naturedly, winking at him, you don’t have to worry. We’re very good company. 

And you were.

As he ran, he forgot how tired he was. He had followed you and the other volunteers around all day, up and down the mountains, giving out boxes of food and clothing to the families that had been affected by the calamity. The first four days hadn’t been as grueling as this last one. But it had been worth it.

He forgot, too, how sorry he felt for his friends, who didn’t know what they had signed up for when they followed him to this town to check up on him.

All he could remember was the flush on his cheeks when he had watched as your fingers strummed at a guitar, and how he could not help but hang on to the sweet lilt of your voice when you opened your mouth to sing. 

"Deep breath and wipe those tears // Take heart and face those fears // We'll find a reason, // something to cling to; // We won't abandon // you. // There's hope in this season, // too."

All he could remember was the comfort that washed over the faces of the people who were listening, back at the orphanage in the mountains, where evacuees had taken up temporary residence.

He forgot about everything else and just ran, ran, and ran towards the only thing that mattered in his mind.

He had found you.

There you were—your hair rustling in the wind, wearing a billowing white dress that came down just beneath your knees and a knapsack that hung loosely on one shoulder, laughing with little children who were selling what looked like different sorts of flowers. You bent down to reach for a bouquet, and then lifted it to your nose, closing your eyes as you inhaled the scent.

Seungcheol drew to a stop as he neared you. His breaths slowed into pants, but his restless heart still fluttered faster than it would normally do.

Before he could lose his courage, he walked slowly to you.

He didn’t know what to say to you yet. After the bus ride, he only saw you every now and then, among the hundred volunteers that had joined. And all day long today, when he knew that he could not put off speaking to you anymore, he had been thinking about how he could approach you without scaring you off. There was one point this evening, after a little bit of beer, when he had felt like he could be brave enough to speak to you the moment he finds you.

But now, standing before you, he was tongue-tied, unable to say anything at all.

Sensing his presence, you turned, looking directly at him, still laughing, your hands holding a bouquet close to your face.

For precious brief seconds, the both of you just stood there, the night breeze beckoning as it made its sweeping touch upon both your clothes, trying to unchain you from where you both stood—whispering, it seemed, as it touched skin, Closer.

It was you who broke the ice.

“That was quite a run,” you commented humorously, your eyes filling with a gentle light. “Did I drop my wallet or something?”

Seungcheol laughed, blushing at the same time before scratching his head. He didn’t know that you had noticed him running. “Uh, no. Sorry. I must have startled you.”

“You told me during our bus ride that you came just to have some fun,” you said softly, your eyes taking in this handsome man before you and the jacket he wore. “But I saw how you worked hard, especially today. Thank you for coming with us.”

“And thank you for your songs,” Seungcheol replied, smiling. There was no flattery in his voice when he said this to you, only interest and admiration and another emotion that he himself could not clearly define at that moment.

Your eyes widened. “You listened?”

Seungcheol cocked his head to the side, hands in his pockets, still smiling. “All three songs, the whole afternoon.”

You grinned. “Ah. I didn’t know that I was in the presence of a fan. So…” one corner of your mouth turned up playfully, “…you ran all that way—” you motioned at the brilliant lights of the festival that was behind you both, “—not because I dropped my wallet somewhere around the bazaars and you picked it up by chance…but because—you loved my songs,” you grinned as you said this, “and you wanted my autograph. Was that it?”

He stifled a laugh, but it still bubbled out of his lips. “No. To be honest, I was going to ask you something else.” Seungcheol’s kind, hooded eyes smiled along with his lips. Courage surged inside him, just when he needed it. “Would you like to dance with me?”

Your slow smile answered his question before you even spoke.

“Yes.”

Closer, the wind whispered as you ran, laughing, with Seungcheol, back into the bright lights where the lanterns swayed, his hand not letting go of yours. And as Seungcheol pulled you close to him by the waist, your body arched up against him, and you threw your arms around his neck. You danced to the slow music, with Seungcheol’s eyes lighting up like the lanterns and his delighted laughter as melodious as the strings that strummed soulful tunes through the night.

Not far from where you danced, watching and making funny but adoring commentaries about how Seungcheol sucked at dancing, Jeonghan and Jisoo clinked bottles.

“It did become an interesting night.”

The town, in the morning, was greeted by blue skies and the young heat of summer. Business went back to normal, with the townsfolk reverting to their quiet, slow-paced lives in the fields and the mountains where their houses and livelihoods were nestled. The square held its usual number of regulars, some laying on the soft grass and others spreading colorful cloths around for picnics. Bicycles and occasional cars passed by.

There were no more buses that lined outside the tall, eighty-year-old hotel that was the pride of the town. No more guys wearing university jackets, no more stalls that lined the cobbled sidewalks.

Everything had gone back to how they were.

But traces of the festival night still popped up here and there in that sleepy old town.

High up the mountains, in the orphanage, children sang your songs and your words lingered on their lips. Some of them still had chocolates and candy from yesterday, leftovers from what their volunteer friends had given them as treats before heading back to the city. A plaque commemorating those who donated and came to help could be seen inside the town hall. And the gratitude people felt in their hearts as they watched their town being rebuilt made them remember their friends who had left in the early morning.

Some traces, too, weren’t just found in town. Some you brought home with you.

In that morning, you and Seungcheol were already five hours away, on a bus terminal, getting woken by the driver, who told you that you were now back in the city.

You had both missed the bus rides back to campus, but that was okay.

With your bags slung on your backs, you talked about Seungcheol’s upcoming bar exam, your major and getting breakfast somewhere. The impress of his touch on the small of your back as he gently guided you through the crowded streets reminded you of how you had felt when you danced with him all night. You blushed as he playfully protested about how his arms had gone numb when he woke up with you in his arms. Laughing with him as you both strolled along the hectic streets of the city, you found that you liked how Seungcheol’s voice sounded and how he would look you in the eyes intently whenever you would start to tell him something, no matter how interesting or uninteresting it would be. There was something intuitive and perceptive about him, something that you don’t normally see with guys that you had tried to get to know before. You liked that uniqueness in Seungcheol.

Sitting across him, eating your burger as you watched him type his number on your phone, you felt something new begin. And when he unconsciously reached out to take your hand while inside a cab that morning, you just knew, that you had both found in each other a memento from that summer night up in the mountains, in a town slowly recovering from a calamity, a town of cobbled streets and music and the wind that had teased and whispered, Closer.

2 | autumn, beneath the glowing streetlamps

Almost every sunset since the leaves started falling and the sky started to become painted in reddish-golden splendor, as people hurried along sidewalks or streets or in their bicycles and cars before rush hour set in, you would find yourself racing, racing and racing into Cheol’s waiting arms, warm and safe from the dropping temperatures and the cruel life of being an assistant producer for a crueler entertainment company.

There would be times when you would immediately look up from burying yourself in the warmth of Seungcheol’s embrace, smile sweetly up at his face and say in cute tones, “Hi, baby!”

There would be times when you would wrap your arms around his neck and stand on tiptoes to treat him with kisses as he laughed and whispered, “I missed you” in your ear.

And there would also be times when you would linger beneath his coat, shutting out all the bustling noises around you, eyes closed, and your words an almost unintelligible murmur on his chest. “Let’s stay like this for a while, please?” 

You would then feel him kiss your hair, nuzzle your face, replying softly, “Bad day?” before hugging you tighter and tilting your head up so he could give you one of his infamous pep talks. He would then be kissing you with a laugh when you would start to complain that he sounded like a lecturer you had back in your uni days.

It had been three years since you danced with the wind during that summer night, and your sunsets during this third autumn season with Seungcheol by your side usually consisted of these sweet embraces and small but meaningful whispers of affection.

But today, the sunset was different.

You are still racing through the streets, running, running and running, your coat and hair flying in the wind. But Choi Seungcheol—always standing out anywhere he went with his height and broad shoulders, huge coats and quick smiles—was nowhere among the crowd. And you now halted to a stop, catching your breath, eyes frantically searching for taxis as the dark blue and violet shades of the nighttime sky started to replace the golden sheen of the sunset.

Once you could get on one, you immediately gave out the address, telling the driver as nicely as possible to step on it. Then you leaned back on the plush leather seat, sighing loudly, looking through the car window as you sped past the city’s grey skyscrapers and its lights and the rush of commute. You listened to the noise of cars honking, of motorcycles zipping past your cab, and chatter from commuters as you sometimes halted at crosswalks. You observed these people rushing to and fro, eager to be where they needed to be. You engaged in pleasant talk with the driver, complimenting his choice of music, even confiding in him that you had helped make the second song that played.

Soon, you came to a place where the pulsing, white and yellow lights of the city softened into golden hue as the skyscrapers were replaced by townhouses and apartments, homey restaurants, little shops and an occasional clinic here and there. Passersby were not rushing in this part of the city. Rather, families were walking hand in hand, dads sometimes carrying their kids on their backs, laughing as they entered diners and restaurants. Old women in flowery dresses shuffled up the steps of their apartment, with their husbands or cats following closely. Lovers and students with their friends laughed softly as they quietly strolled down the sidewalks, amazed at the beauty of the coming night and the sighing of trees as their leaves fell. You smiled at a woman you knew as the cab slowed. And when it stopped, you got out, blinking as your eyes adjusted beneath the glowing light of the streetlamps, looking around.

This was your neighborhood. This was your world when five o'clock came and you were released from the pressure of work. This was your safety net when you felt like drowning. This was your home turf. 

And there he was, just as you knew he would be. He probably went straight home after court. He probably thought he could mask everything that had happened when he had rested enough. He probably didn’t want you to worry. 

Yes, there he was. Walking slowly to his car, shoulders slumped, his phone in his hand, probably going to shoot you a message that he was on his way to pick you up, he just ran a little late today. His head was bent down as he scrolled through his phone. His other hand was holding his briefcase, his most prized possession as a criminal lawyer. He didn’t see you coming towards him yet. But as he looked up from his phone to open the car door, his eye caught sight of you and he stopped, his hand on the door handle.

Immediately, Seungcheol’s despondent expression changed. His face lit up into a smile that almost didn’t look tired, his shoulders straightened up and he cocked his head to the side like he always does when he sees you looking at him, his now ash-blond hair touching his forehead. “Baby!” he called out endearingly, his free arm wide open.

There, beneath the glowing streetlamps, you ran up to him and wrapped him in a tight embrace, your feet on tiptoes, one of your hands raking through his hair, the other caressing his back, whispering his name over and over in relief. He’s here with me. Everything’s going to be alright.

“What’s the matter?” he asked, worried about you even at this time when you knew that he needed you more than you needed him now. “Did something happen at work?”

“No,” you whispered in his ear, still smoothing his hair, holding him close. “And let’s not talk about my work tonight.” You leaned back so you could look into his face. Your hands ran through the soft, ash-blond locks on his forehead. Now that you looked at him closely, you saw that he looked pale and drawn, utterly exhausted with his day. “Oh, baby.” You touched his face and he held your hand close to him like that, closing his eyes as he let out a huge breath.

Standing on tiptoes as the streetlamps glowed brighter and brighter in the night, as the trees shed red, gold and brown leaves and as people passed you by, each off to their respective evenings, you gave Choi Seungcheol a tender kiss.

He sighed shakily as your lips touched his. He trembled underneath your touch; it was as if all his carefully put-up defenses might fall apart in that moment.

And they did, right when you whispered against his lips, as gently as you could, “It’s not your fault.”

Tears fell from his closed eyes like the trees lining the sidewalk, weeping away their precious foliage. You felt his body heave into choking, unmanly sobs as he buried his face down your shoulder, his hold on you so tight that you felt just how much pain he was trying to release. The briefcase lay forgotten at your feet as his arms pulled you as close as he could to him.

Seungcheol couldn’t say anything, but you knew about everything already; the city may be vast and diverse, but news travels fast. There was no need for him to explain. You knew enough, and that was all you needed.

“Shhh,” you whispered, tears falling from your face as well, your chest aching at the sight of your man—this man who liked to look okay in front of you all the time—bent, broken, and crying. “You’ll be alright.” Your arms tightened around Seungcheol, and you closed your eyes. “You’ll be alright.”

There was a comforting lull as you both stayed that way for a while, not minding who saw you, not minding the time. Tonight, he needed you, and you wanted him to know that he could hold you for as long as he wanted. For as long as he needed. When you had felt like he had calmed a bit, you asked him, “Bad day?” Even though you already knew the answer, he wouldn’t be able to talk about it freely if you didn’t ask. 

You felt him smile sheepishly on your neck. “Yeah.” He sighed and buried his face onto your shoulder. “Bad day.” 

“Oh, baby.” You hugged him tighter.

“I’m sorry. I know that I’m not usually like this—”

“—I like it better when you lean on me, too.” You patted his back comfortingly, over and over. “I know that you don’t want to talk about it yet, at least, not right now, but I’ll always be ready to listen, okay?” 

“Okay.”

“No rush. But you can tell me everything when you feel ready.” You pulled away to stare into his puffy eyes. “I must say, though,” you commented with a bit of humor, “that red does not suit your eyes when it’s like that.” You smirked at him as his expression softened and his laughter came. You took out a handkerchief from your coat pocket and dabbed it underneath his eyes and his cheeks. “Doesn’t matter anyway,” you muttered lightly, knowing how much your nonsensical words would make him smile, “you still look good even when you cry.”

Seungcheol groaned. “Stop.” Then he kissed your forehead. “Thank you.” For making me feel better. You saw the words in his eyes, which began to sparkle again with a gentle light. He grinned at you, and a little bit of the sadness painted on his face seemed to dissipate. 

You grinned back at him, and you held out a hand. 

“Can we go home now?”

Seungcheol grasped your hand tightly and smiled. “Yes.”

The streetlamps glowed brighter as the dark ink of the night swallowed the brilliant colors of the dusk, and you both blended in with the people who were around you, walking towards whatever lay ahead for them in the coming night. 

Seungcheol didn’t tell you about what happened that day in court. He didn’t tell you about what had made him cry like that when you found him. He didn’t offer any explanation.

And you let it stay that way. You watched him from your perch on the duvet in your living room. He sat on the couch, poring over binders that held one-inch-thick documents and every now and then scribbling something on a legal pad. You watched him whisper to himself as he typed incessantly on his laptop. Paraphernalia from whatever he was working on was scattered on the floor in an order that only he could understand. You watched him for a time as he kept on working. This was how he was whenever something from his work would haunt him: he would meticulously go over where he went wrong (or where he thought he went wrong), and he would passionately redo that area until he was satisfied. He would anxiously (and sometimes even a bit obsessively) review each argument, each line, over and over again. 

Judging from his expression and from how he couldn't seem to stop doing this cycle of reading/writing/whispering, you knew that whatever piece of courtroom action he had brought home with him had truly gotten to him. 

You watched and watched, and then you gave up watching him. You hated seeing him become so immersed into a case because you've seen him like this before, and you hadn't liked how it affected him physically and mentally. 

You wondered about what you could do for him. Nothing came to mind. 

Sighing, you rose up from your seat, a bottle of beer in your hand. You padded softly towards the other side of the room, where an unvarnished upright piano was. 

You lifted the cover and you let your fingers run across the ivory keys. You sat down. As you stared down at the keys, a melody you’ve never sung before formed on your lips. You found the right key, and you began to play the melody that you hummed.

Slowly, scenery came to life in your mind, along with the words that painted its description beautifully.

“Autumn days of glory // autumn days of peace // red and golden splendor // in the sky and trees…”

You didn’t know where the words would lead, but you let your hands and your heart take flight. You let them come straight home where they needed to be. You let them express what you couldn't do in any other way.

“Fall is often like // a season of pure bliss // But fall is also when // change happens to things.”      

You remembered the moment you shared with Seungcheol a few hours ago, outside. You let your hands play on as more lines went out of your lips, giving voice to the emotions you had felt and painted the picture in your mind with.

“Let me touch your face // let me dry those tears // let me help you brace // for the colder winds…”

You heard footsteps behind you, but the song still flowed out of your lips as your heart poured out what it wanted to say through the music's timeless language.

“Autumn days of glory // autumn days of peace // let me stand on tiptoes // let me give you a kiss…”

You felt his arms around you, and you felt the touch of his lips on your neck. 

You found the last chord, and you leaned against him. 

You stayed like that for a long time.

Your hand caressed one of his arms as you sang softly, “I will hold you close // I will dry your tears // I will help you brace // for the colder winds…”

You felt him breathe deeply, and you felt his arms tighten around you. And when he turned your face to him to give you his most tender kiss, you knew that he had chosen to leave his books and legal pads and that case that haunted him. You knew that he had chosen, no matter how hard it was, to put the bad day behind him.

As he carried you up from that hard, unvarnished piano bench where you sat and onto the soft satin comfort of your bedroom sheets, you just knew. You just knew that no matter how bad days in the future might get, as long as you had each other, there would always be peace at the end. That both of you would always choose peace at the end.

That night, as the last of the leaves on the trees fell, and as Seungcheol's bare skin cleaved to yours, he bared his thoughts to you. You both stared at the naked truth of his anxiety, his worries. Hesitantly, at first, he let you in on his deepest fears.

That night was the beginning of honesty at its purest between you two. That night, you treated each other like the Bible where you had seen Seungcheol swear the truth and nothing but the truth countless times. That night, you both found safety in each other as you unmasked the pretenses that you both still put up for the sake of looking brave. 

That night, too, you both decided that there was no other way to overcome bad days, except to overcome it together.

When the streetlamps stopped burning brightly and another day came around, you both stepped out of the apartment, hand in hand, the warm glow on your faces obviously not coming from the sun, which had risen in a useless effort to bring warmth against the cold. 

You both went your separate ways, disappearing amongst the thousands of people who rushed about as the sleepless city burst with renewed life. 

Well, bad days, fire away, you thought to yourself as you tightened your scarf around your neck. After that night, the impending doom of a long day failed to break your spirit.

You had Seungcheol, and Seungcheol had you. Everything would be okay. You both just knew: everything would be okay.

Later that day, another golden dusk settled across the skyline. You raced down the busy sidewalks of the city again, looking out for a cab. The holiday season was almost upon you, and the air already had a festive spirit to it. As you glanced up and down the lanes of vehicles halting at the red light, your eye caught a figure to your left, among the crowds.

Waving his hand, his eyes alight, his smile as bright as it was during those first few days that leaves fell from trees, there was Seungcheol, wearing his huge coat, holding his briefcase and waiting, as he had always done, for you.

Smiling jubilantly, you ran to him, pushing against crowds of people, eager to become enveloped into his safe, warm embrace.

You were tired. It had been a very busy day: meetings, songwriting sessions, planning music video sets with other staff, and doing final checks on a concert stage took up most of your energy. But in Seungcheol’s arms, the fatigue you felt slowly washed away. 

"Baby," you whispered, closing your eyes as you leaned against his chest. You felt his kisses on your hair and you smiled. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but does that smile mean that you helped save the world today?"

At your words, you felt Seungcheol drew in a sharp breath. You felt his teeth sink into your shoulder playfully as his body reverberated with giggles.

"Please stop making me blush in public, babe!"

The forecast had said that temperatures would be at its lowest yet, but as you kept making jokes while basking in the music of Seungcheol’s laughter, you never felt the cold during that last sunset of autumn.

3 | winter, by the hearth

“And everything in time and under heaven finally falls asleep // Wrapped in blankets white, all creation shivers underneath.”

Like magic, the words you sang out perfectly described the hushed, dreamy landscape that unfurled before Seungcheol's eyes. Snowflakes in their different designs fell softly on the ground and on your nose as you walked, hand in hand, wrapped in your warmest, heaviest winter clothing. You were walking towards the huge family house that belonged to your maternal grandparents, and you were both enchanted by the frozen beauty of the vast garden you were walking through. And as if the sight of imposing life-sized statues and the creaking, barren trees lining the footpath wasn't enough, the series of mountains to the left of the property also peeked out from the stone walls, revealing their snow-covered peaks and adding a magical feeling to the scenery.

It was the first time that you would bring Seungcheol to a dinner with all of your extended family, and Seungcheol knew from the way that you smiled at him a lot that you were excited.

Excited, and something else. 

Despite the mixed expressions on your face that he could not quickly decipher to get a clear understanding of, Seungcheol returned your smiles. “How long has it been since you came here?” he asked, stepping over a mound of ice and snow that had formed along the pavement.

“Years." You looked up at him again, and you smiled wider. "It shows on my face that much, huh? How thrilled I am at having my whole family meet you?"

Seungcheol smirked. "I don't know how to get my family together like this. Do your grandparents hold gatherings like this often?"

"Not really. But they've been missing their children and us grandchildren, so…" you cleared your throat and paused. "Baby, do I look like Christmas lights are strung up on my face? Because my cousins tease me about my smile whenever I get excited.”

The brightness in your voice had dropped a notch, and Seungcheol examined your face again. “Well you do look excited, but I wouldn't worry about your face. You always look beautiful…"

You probably did not hear him, because you had let go of his hand to run ahead, towards the widespread arms of a very handsome old man who seemed to have the same light like yours in his eyes and the same humor on his smile like yours. 

Seungcheol hurried towards you and your grandfather, and he bowed respectfully. 

"So this is the lucky man," your grandfather commented humorously, shaking Seungcheol's hand heartily. "Come in, come in! Best to get out of the cold." Your grandfather shivered animatedly, and you laughed, leaning against him as you walked in. 

You seemed fine. Seungcheol smiled and entered the double doors after you.

The house was spacious and welcoming, designed with warm wood tones and bursting to life with patches of greenery here and there. The wooden beams and pillars that supported doorways were intricately carved with floral swirls and patterns, and the furniture style accentuated the vibrant yet homey tones. The smell of food and wine and the sound of logs being thrown into a fireplace filled Seungcheol's senses. Holiday music played in the background, and soft laughter from one of the rooms to the far right of the hall made Seungcheol guess that some family members have already arrived before you did. 

As he walked on, straightening his clothes, he ran smack-dab into a woman who looked a lot like you but was very much unlike you either. Seungcheol would never see you wearing a power suit in bold colors like this woman. The man behind her smiled at Seungcheol and offered a hand.

"Oooh, so this is my cousin Y/N's boyfriend!" The woman grinned. She held out a well-manicured hand. "I'm Sana, and this is my husband, Minhyuk. You’re Seungcheol, right?"

"Yes. Very nice to meet you," Seungcheol answered, his face lighting up when he saw you with a smile on your face, walking towards Sana. Sana is one of my favorite cousins, you had told him earlier. She's the loudest among all of us, but she's a really good person who took care of me a lot when I was younger.

Sana leaned close to Seungcheol, and he was once again struck by how her brown eyes looked a lot like yours. But hers, he observed, had a mischievous glint, while yours always had a gentle light in them. 

"You'd better be prepared for this family dinner," Sana whispered conspiratorially, "and don't let your guard down. Watch your manners--"

"--oh, come on, Sana," you groaned, pulling Seungcheol away, laughter in your voice. "It won't be that bad!"

"Don't say I didn't warn you! And sit beside me during dinner!" Sana's red-lipped smile made Seungcheol suddenly wonder what you both were talking about. You were both inside the parlor now, where drinks were being served and the people inside were more formal: quieter and older members of the family were either seated or standing around, wine glasses in their hands, conversing as they studied the portraits that hung around the room. A young man sat by one of the massive floor-to-ceiling windows of the parlor, his fingers flying across the ivory keys of the grand piano. The fire crackled as a man added more logs. Your grandfather was nowhere in sight.

Seungcheol wondered why your smile did not reach your eyes once these people started to come and greet you with their hugs and kisses. He wanted to ask if you were okay because you had grown quieter. Occasionally glancing at you as he introduced himself to members of the family, he noticed that your whole countenance had changed. 

The smiles and the laughter coming from you still rang true in his ears, but as your hands clasped before you as you engaged in conversation with an aunt of yours, you showed him a side of you that he had never seen before: very composed, very somber, very careful. The only relief that seemed to show on your face was when your parents finally came in, and Seungcheol was glad for the respite from your strained expressions and gestures. Your smile at them as they embraced you warmly was the only smile that reached your eyes throughout the whole introductory phase of the gathering.

"I'm so glad you're here, Seungcheol!" your mother said cheerfully, adding a warmth that Seungcheol hadn't felt in the room since you had both walked in. In fact, of all the people he had greeted today, nobody he'd met in this side of your family eased the tension he had been feeling since your voice changed on the way in. "My family has been waiting to see you for ages!"

Seungcheol kissed your mother's cheek and shook your father's hand, engaging in pleasant small talk with them. He had spent a lot of holidays and vacations with your parents, and they had been very enjoyable ones. In this fifth year of your relationship, though, you had quietly asked him if he wanted to go see your grandparents with you. He had known from the expression on your face that seeing your grandparents was an important family affair; and he knew now, too, why you had looked so anxious. 

Everyone walked into the dining room once the clock in the parlor struck six o'clock. A long table heaped with food and beverages on glassware greeted all of you. Seating yourselves, Seungcheol held your hand underneath the table, squeezing it reassuringly. You squeezed his back.

Seungcheol's eyes caught Sana's on the far side of the room. She was sitting on the opposite end of the table with Minhyuk, and she cocked her head to the side, mouthing words that looked like, "Sit here, you two!", gesturing at a couple of seats beside them that soon got taken by another cousin and his parents. Sana made a face, and Seungcheol grinned. You were busy talking with another cousin, Samuel, who had also brought his partner with him. Seated at the far end of the table, near the empty seat of your grandfather, Seungcheol waited for dinner to begin.

Clinks of glasses and forks and knives slicing through meat and spoons ladling soup were the background music to the words that this huge family exchanged. Laughter rippled through the room, and slowly, the tension and formality that shaped conversations a while ago stopped.

"Is that Counselor Choi from the City Prosecutor’s Office?"

The matronly voice made everyone's heads turn, and all laughter died down.

Seungcheol saw your grandmother for the first time. 

Dinner had long since started, but the way she gracefully sat down and the way her shoulders were set back made everyone excuse her for being late. Your grandfather silently took his place beside you, and you exchanged sweet smiles with him. Seungcheol watched as your grandfather leaned towards you, and he heard words like, “…talk to her…” come from his lips. Nervous energy engulfed the dinner table, and Seungcheol's ears must have been fooling him, because every clink and scrape of knives, and even the music, seemed to stop. 

Your grandmother, beautiful despite her age, laid her eyes upon Seungcheol. Her eyes were neither kind nor cruel. The aloofness there could have thrown any stranger off, but the spark of interest that lit up her eyes compelled Seungcheol to return her gaze and to answer.

"Yes, ma'am." He could have called her something else, but this aura she exuded seemed to ask for something that formal. "Thank you for inviting me."

When she smiled, her expression was guarded as well. "My granddaughter is very fortunate to have met you. And you're welcome. Please, eat."

After greeting the other girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands and wives seated around, the rest of the conversation was directed at other members of the family. Seungcheol learned that this side of your family was involved in medical and tourism careers. You were the only one he knew that had a different path from the rest of them. This hadn’t been obvious when he spent time with your parents, but on this table, careers and what you are doing to succeed in that career seemed to be very important. Careers steered the conversation.

"Ahyoung is planning on setting up a pediatric practice, Mother,” one aunt said as she set down her spoon. “She wasn't able to come because she had to tie up some loose ends with the clinic renovation."

"Working through the holidays? Ahyoung must be wanting to surpass my record as a workaholic." Chuckles around the table could be heard at this amusing remark from Grandmother. "The president of the hospital in that town is a friend of mine who could help her establish her practice. Tell her to give me a call so I can help her get in touch with him. How about you, Jaemin? I saw you on TV a week ago. You announced the opening of a...what was that...a museum?"

"A shrine recreation, Grandmother. We're currently in the process of recreating an entire temple from the Silla era. My archaeology team hit a huge find down south when they found the remains of what we initially thought was a hidden metropolis in the mountains. Turns out that was this temple where priestesses tried to read the stars—”

“—if you need a priestess to make your shrine look more realistic, you can hire me." Sana broke in as she winked at Jaemin, who immediately looked flustered. Younger cousins of yours immediately began doing their best to hold back their laughter and Seungcheol felt you giggle quietly beside him, too, as you drank your glass of wine. 

"Sana, instead of ridiculing your older brother, why don't you tell us about the latest findings of your research? And congratulations, darling. My former colleagues in Gynecology have been telling me that your research will be of a huge benefit to their practice.”

"Well, we are still working on developing this fertility treatment, as you know already, and we have the goal of obtaining a much higher success rate than in vitro fertilization. So, for example, if the success rate of a thirty-five-year-old woman is only at thirty-nine-point-five per cent, we would try to raise that bar by giving her a fifty per cent threshold of success. It’s still at a very experimental stage at this point, Grandmother, but the labs have been working on it incessantly...” 

Seungcheol stopped listening at that point. He focused on his food and on not letting go of your hand. Their topics were interesting and he would occasionally get roped into the conversation, but Seungcheol couldn't help but despair about the fact that there wasn’t talk about anything else except work and their different professions and future plans for their businesses or companies. It was the holidays, for goodness’ sake. There weren't many other stories shared aside from work life. Everyone seemed to be comfortable with that kind of setting, but it cut through Seungcheol deeply. Especially when he noticed that the questions didn’t get to you. 

The dinner passed like that.

Grandmother rose from her seat, her height, willowy frame and white dress making her look even more imposing. Silence once again reigned, and she spoke.

“Y/N, may I speak to you in private for a moment?” It wasn’t a question. She spun on her heel and left.

Seungcheol knew that she expected you to follow. And you did, whispering, “I’ll be back” before rushing out of the dining room. When his eyes roamed around the table, he saw that everyone was looking at him, and he put his fork down. He didn’t know what to think of what just happened. Your mother followed you out soon after.

"Don't worry," Samuel said reassuringly. "Grandmother may look like a very hard woman, but she's actually soft on the inside--"

"--and she has the softest spot for Y/N." Sana smiled. "She would never admit to playing favorites, but we all know in this table that she loves Y/N the most."

At a later time, while relishing dessert, your history with your grandmother began to unfold from the table, where only your closest cousins remained, and Seungcheol listened to them intently.

They told him the story about a grandmother who wanted nothing but the best of life for her family. A grandmother who had done her best to live a life that she knew would become a good example to everyone who followed her. Despite her stern appearance, she wasn’t the rich and evil grandmother who forced everyone to do things her way. Surprisingly, she was one who encouraged her family members to pursue what they loved to do.

“You see, even though most of us work in the medical field, we didn’t get these jobs because someone told us to, or because the woman we look up to in this family. We became doctors and businessmen because we wanted these jobs. Our paths turned out this way, and we’re enjoying ourselves.” Sana paused, letting her words sink first. “All our parents and our grandparents asked of us was that we pursue our dreams intending to succeed. And that was where she and Y/N took a bad turn.”

“Everyone in this family had turned out to be exactly who they wanted to be.” The unspoken words after that sentence held weight. All except one: you.

“Grandmother just couldn’t understand why Y/N did not choose to become the singer that she wanted to be. And what made her more furious was the fact that she doesn’t see how good she could be.”

Music from the piano drifted into the dining hall. Someone was singing carols, and Seungcheol was jolted from his reverie when he heard soft laughter coming from the parlor as well. It was then that he realized that most of the family had gone back to the parlor, where it was evident that they all loved to spend time together.

“Only one person plays beautifully like that,” Jaemin remarked. Seungcheol noted the ring of envy and admiration on his voice as you all listened to the strains of a piano. “You’re a very lucky man. My cousin isn’t just someone you meet out there.”

“Which is why she’s the favorite,” Hyorin, another cousin of yours, commented. “In a family of doctors and business magnates, she stands out.” Hyorin stood up, bringing her glass of wine with her. “I’m going there to listen.”

Sitting on the piano, fingers making music in a way that spoke to the soul, was you. It was one thing to just play music. It was another thing when that music communicates with its listeners, making them feel something. People were humming the carols that you played, but you didn’t pay heed to them. Seungcheol knew that once you were seated on that bench, you were in another world entirely. You smiled at your relatives as they all sang out songs and gave her requests. Music tied you all together and brought out the beauty of the human inside. Work was forgotten as you sang together. From the corner of his eye, as he joined the men in belting out “Smile Flower” by a classic boy group from more than fifty years ago, Seungcheol saw your grandmother smiling—genuinely—and nodding with your parents, who were also looking at you.

A change of key quieted the room, and everyone tried to figure out what the song you were playing. But nobody could tell what it was, only that it was in A minor. They waited for you to sing.

And when you did, a song they’ve never heard before, a song Seungcheol had never heard before from you, rose from your lips.

“Tossing out the lines that were never truly mine // Throwing to the fire what was never truly fine // I am in a place where no doubt and fears can get me // I am safe tonight with lover and family // by the firelight // by the firelight // I could be me.”

Later, when you and Seungcheol had gone home and you were both staring into the hearth which served as the only light in the living room and warmed you both from the cold of the night, Seungcheol mustered the courage to ask you what your grandmother had told you when she pulled you aside right after dinner.

You smiled and said simply, “She doesn’t want me to become an assistant producer anymore.” Your hand laced with Seungcheol’s underneath the pale blue quilt wrapped around you both. “She wants me to get my music out there to the world. She said she wanted me to stop hesitating about my future.”

“And what do you think about her advice?”

You turned to him, and your eyes were moist, your lips trembling with emotion as you smiled. “Baby,” you said gently, leaning on his shoulder, “it’s not that simple.” You sighed. “And I know I might sound like such a coward to you, but I have a reason for not pursuing a singing career. Besides, I think I’m already too old for that kind of life.”

“Yeah,” Seungcheol playfully acknowledged, “twenty-seven is too old for that kind of life.”

You laughed, but your eyes remained sad. “Consider that a sub-reason as to why I don’t want to be a singer. I know that I’m breaking my family’s heart by choosing not to become one because they want to see me actually doing something that I love. But you see, I’m not really in that bad a position. I’m doing something close to what I truly love. And for me, that is enough.”

Seungcheol held you closer with his one arm. “But what is the reason why you don’t want to be a singer? I’ve always wondered why, too. I didn’t ask you before about this because I didn’t want you—”

“—I don’t want a life where my most beautiful escape—my music—will most likely end up being my darkest prison.” You weren’t looking at him, but Seungcheol knew from your voice that you meant your words, and you wanted him to understand. “I’ve seen it happen. Every day, I work with talented people who were brave enough to let the world see their lives and listen to their music. I help them shine like the stars they are, but I always witness them burn too brightly and die out too fast in the end. And I don’t want that kind of life for myself. I want my music to be mine alone and to whoever I want to give it to. I don’t want my art to be pressured by people’s expectations and desires. I don’t want that kind of life.”

“Tossing out the lines that were never truly mine,” he sang. “Throwing to the fire what was never truly fine. I am in a place where no doubt and fears can get me. I am safe tonight with lover and family. By the firelight, I could be me.” Seungcheol looked at you. “Is that why you sang this to your family? So that they won’t worry about you being miserable because you haven’t fulfilled your ultimate dream?”

You looked at him humorously. “My ultimate dream is to be your wife and the mother of your children, dummy.”

“Oh.” Seungcheol blushed. “I forgot about that part.”

You let out a huge breath. “But you’re right. I just wanted them to know that I’m okay with my life. At the same time, though, I can’t stop wondering if I am missing out on something that I know I want to try deep in my heart.”

“So try doing it.”

It was when you hesitated when he said those words that Seungcheol knew.

He kissed your temple gently. “Baby, I think you should at least try.” Seungcheol stared at you as you pondered what he said in your mind. He knew that a million thoughts, pros and cons and other factors were probably racing around in your head at this point, and he didn’t want you to do that. “Come on. On the count of three, answer my question: do you want to sing your songs out there in the world or not? One.” You didn’t budge. “Two.” You gripped his hand tighter. “Thr—”

“—yes.” You wrapped your arms around his neck and you looked at him, staring deeply into his eyes. “But I’m afraid of the cost it would ask of me.”

“The greater the risk, the greater the joy,” Seungcheol commented casually as he laid you down on the couch, smiling as he kissed you. “Try it.”

“Don’t you think I’m too old? Or that I look too—”

“—This is not about what I want. This is about what you want. Your life. Your future. Your dreams.” He gazed at you again, and he felt the same flush that had crept on his face when he first heard you sing, up in the mountains, in an orphanage. So many things had happened since then. And he pictured you in his head, living your dream, casting the same spell that you had enchanted him with on thousands of people.

A performer, not a producer. That’s who my granddaughter is. Your grandmother’s last words before you both went home lingered on his head as he kissed you. Making music and performing that music is what she does best, and what she has always wanted. Help her get to her dreams. Don’t let her give in to her fears.

By the hearth, as he made love to you—his hands planted on your hips, his painfully delicious rhythm bringing tears to your eyes—he could not get over the truth that, with or without the spotlight on you, you were an amazing woman already. And he knew that he would continue seeing you grow into someone he will always be proud to love and to be with. But in his mind, he could not shake off the image he saw of you, of who you could be if you just became brave enough to.

“What does your heart say?” he asked you, his hand running up and down your bare skin, your limbs tangled together. The fire in the hearth had gone down into sizzling embers and the quilt barely covered you both, but your skin pressed against each other was warm with the afterglow of your lovemaking. “What do you truly want to do?”

You looked up at him with no hesitation, his heart stopped to beat for a moment that felt like forever: because there, in the sparks of light that burst to life in your eyes, he could see the woman you are, and the woman you could be, evolving into one.

“Baby, I want to try.”                

 4 | spring, and through the seasons after

The train of your dress fanned around you in its lacy magnificence, and the sun could not help itself but touch the beautiful, delicate material with its glorious beams. The soft grass underneath your feet sighed as you passed, and bursts of color from the petals strewn by your nieces gave a beautiful contrast to the peaceful green of the grass and the muted white tones of your dress. You hear people’s voices as you pass them by, their whispers of congratulations and the flashes of cameras. You looked to the horizon, on the sleeping waters of the early morning ocean, which reflected the rosy blush of the first dawn of spring.

You heard the piano start its music, and you hear the viola and the cello in their sweet duet. You smiled at your friends and your family as you passed them by. The crown of flowers in your hair rustled as the wind blew, and your veil flowed along with your hair as that touch of breeze passed.

One more step until you reach him.

When your eyes locked with the man that you will vow to love and to cherish and to be with forevermore, flashes of seasons past appeared in your mind: summers where drops of sun would scorch your skin, and where the smell of petrichor would linger after brief showers of rain; the crunch of leaves beneath your boots, and the colder winds that you would brace against during autumn; the calming hush when everything falls asleep and shivers under blankets of ice and snow; and the first days of spring, like this one, wherein what was frozen through would turn back to healthy shades of green, awakening with a new purpose.

As more memories came to your mind, a song formed in your heart and became written on your mind as you took in Seungcheol’s smiling eyes, brimming with tears as your hand touched his.

“Hold me close, darling // never let go // make this feeling last forever and a day // let’s stay.” These words, for that one summer night, in an old town, where you slow-danced to guitar and dulcimer strings as lanterns swayed with the wind. “Run your fingers through my hair // say you won’t care // if this feeling lasts forever and a day // let’s stay...”

“I love you so much // that I couldn’t keep it in anymore. // I need you so // like the air I breathe to live one more day, so stay…” These words, for that time when you remembered yourself frantically running across sidewalks as the golden glow of streetlights blended with the colors of an autumn dusk, and crashing into the safe, strong arms that will continue to hold you for as long as this life lasts and after.

“You keep setting my soul on fire // you make everything worthwhile…” These words, for that winter night when you felt the blazing sparks of the fire by the hearth of your house, where you decided to take the risk of burning brightly like the stars with your music. “You’re the sun that made me shine like this, // you’re the love that I just can’t resist, so please stay…” These words, for all the moments that you had doubted and he had believed in you as you made your dreams come true. These words, because from the privacy of the firelight by the hearth to the adulation of thousands as you stood beneath spotlights, he had been there.

“Love, let’s stay…Stay this way.”

Each memory and each turn of the seasons that passed through your mind evoked a variety of emotions within you. And you know in your heart that the reason why you could recall them so vividly and feel them so profoundly is that you did not create them alone.

Your eyes take in the man whose companionship had completed the scenes in your head. Through the seasons, he had been with you. He had laughed with you. He had cried with you. He had grown with you. And unlike the seasons which come and go, he stayed.

And he never left.

As you said your vows and exchanged rings and as you sealed the promises made with a kiss, you knew: through the seasons, he had truly, and sincerely, loved you.

- Super-Late Leanne.  ⏰

[astrologysvt]

Chart First Impressions: Wonwoo

For more SVT astrology posts, follow my blog! Check out my masterlist to see all the readings I’ve done so far and what I’ve got coming up! 💫

This is just a very general reading of the member’s charts — the parts that popped out to me, things I personally liked, things I thought were interesting or contrary to the image I have of them. I’m not looking at anything in particular with each reading. Some of their readings may be more aspect focused, where some may just focus solely on their personal planets and their signs. If you have any questions on specific aspects or want to request a more specific reading, feel free to send me an ask!

lets all thank wonwoo for giving this air dom group the water it needs

our little cancer bb 

he’s so sweet

may be more emotional than he lets on

certainly very sensitive to everyone around him and a lot more of a stabilizing factor in seventeen’s dynamic than he may come across. 

not just because of how calm a person he is, but because he’s very in touch with what the other members are feeling and will direct his attention where he feels it’s needed, even if it’s just subtly walking over and putting a hand on their shoulder. 

not only that but with such a strong-willed, high-energy group of people like svt, it’s good for them to have that little bit of water in there to absorb those super high frequency fire and air energies lmao.

the general feeling in a group that wonwoo offers brings that little bit of stability and serenity you need when you’re surrounded by a group of people who are looking to really and seriously make you think. 

like at a party, if you’re feeling overwhelmed you’re gonna find water-sign wonwoo in the corner so you can sit with him to recharge. 

homebody af. 

i’m going to get A LOT into how dedicated and detail-oriented wonwoo is -- that all still stands but you need to understand. 

cancers and leos have SUCH a lazy streak. they’re so capable but they take their comfort seriously.

so as hardworking and capable as this chart may dictate, he takes his leisure just as seriously as he does his work. 

def a drama queen thanks to all of that LEO. 

i think that there is a lot about wonwoo that is so signature wonwoo that’s so NOT stereotypical leo. 

like his cold look, the deadpan humor, and generally his appreciation for the more serious things. 

but then all that leo comes in and just, makes him the most dramatic and silly guy on the planet. 

when he all of a sudden decides to yell, or in svt club when they were talking about how dramatic he acts when he pretends to be upset. 

oh, or when he makes a joke and looks at his members desperately trying to get a reaction/approval.

that’s his leo side of him. 

not to mention how great of an actor he is -- his tendency for dramatics and creative expression come from his leo, but his ultra empathetic cancer sun helps him express sincerity. 

he would make a great actor, we all know it and i do not doubt it for a second. 

but let’s take a look at his chart because he has a super interesting one. 

cuz hey ya’ll we got ourselves a .・゜゜・　kite　・゜゜・．

his leo mercury forms a grand trine with his aries saturn and sag pluto

his mercury is opposite his aqua uranus 

and his uranus is sextile both his pluto and saturn 

making a beautiful .・゜゜・　kite　・゜゜・．

they’re super easy to spot cuz they look like a kite and often times indicate a great talent and huge potential as indicated by the planets involved. 

to break it down 

trine aspects are super harmonious, meaning that the two planets that are meeting in this trine freely and easily offer energy to each other. 

these are aspects of our personality we are naturally good at. 

the stuff we hear second-hand from others because we simply aren’t aware we’re doing them. 

for example, someone with a moon trine mars wouldn’t understand people with overly short tempers who are ultra sensitive. 

mainly because their emotions are harmonious with their sense of action/anger. they simply do not feel any tension in that area of their life and thus, seldom experience bursts of anger. 

for wonwoo, his grand trine indicates that there are THREE areas of his life that easily flow energy to each other and those would be: communication, discipline, and transformation. 

this can mean a lot of things.

his saturn trine mercury means that he’s an organized and detailed-oriented person. 

it can be one of the reasons he appears so deadpan and levelheaded -- it’s because he’s so practical in his thinking and planning that, often times, he sees no need to act dramatic unless called upon by the situation. he simply isn’t surprised by outcomes because he either predicted them, or is taking them as they come and actively thinking through solutions. 

which is why his outbursts are very calculated and mainly used to be funny. 

his communication skills are clear and concise, and this can certainly rope in why exactly he loves books and is so well spoken.  

it’s because he very clearly understands and feels the weight in words, and understands how to manipulate them in order to convey a message.

this also makes him very aware of how other people use language. he’d definitely see it as an art/skill, and be extra appreciative of when people are great writers. 

his saturn trine pluto amplifies this ultra resourceful and organized persona he’s got going on. 

it tinges this aspect of him a little less militaristic and more compelling and magnetic. 

he’s extremely persuasive when he needs to be. 

not only that but his sense of purpose is multiplied. it’s definitely not on the same level as say i think a more purely capricorn energy like seungkwan or seungcheol’s

he isn’t holding himself to this incredibly high standard that’s daunting him in every move he makes, but he definitely feels a lot of purpose in his actions. 

if he goes out of his way to do something, there is a reason. 

i think especially when he makes his long posts on fancafe, he’s so charismatic and genuine and you feel the need to make note of what he says, the timing, and the purpose because it’s wonwoo. 

that’s that energy. 

mercury trine pluto again makes him very well spoken, a very targeted, no nonsense individual when he needs to be (though do not get me wrong, the leo in him is naturally super super silly). 

pluto almost adds a hint of obsession to everything it touches, which can make wonwoo that guy who stays up all night researching something or breaking apart in his mind something that may have happened. he likes understanding every bit of what happens and why.

pluto would also add this sense of secrecy and intimidation, which again adds his image of being that deadpan guy. 

but noooooow we add in those sextiles. 

sextiles are very similar to trines meaning that they are very harmonious. 

however, as opposed to a trine, sextiles need to be developed a bit more to be able to fully reap the positive benefits. 

now we have uranus sextile saturn and pluto. 

uranus as a planet is the reformer. they’re the innovators, the “take the path less traveled”, the avante garde planet. 

it’s a very powerful planet because of how uniquely and off-beat their mind works, and when you pair that with the intensity and depth of pluto you get something that’s really fascinating and eye-catching. 

his saturn sextile uranus makes it so he’s capable of letting people into his vast world. he strives to understand and create so much and saturn brings a sense of reality/possibility that allows him to bring people into his vision. 

he really doesn’t let us into this side of him but i sincerely hope that, years and years later, he somehow manages to become a writer or something like that. there is SO MUCH depth to him and he is certainly very capable.

and now we get into the opposition. 

as i said before, a grand trine and even sextiles are super harmonious signs and often times connote a sense of ease and even laziness. 

they are naturally good at it so it can bring a sense of “i’m already good at this so why bother” 

that or the idea of developing and really putting these skills to good use may fly COMPLETELY under the radar because they are simply unaware they’re capable of such things. or maybe they do know, but it comes so easily to them they have no idea how to call upon those skills on command.

that’s where the uranus opposite mercury comes in with this kite. 

without tension and without friction there is no growth. 

the opposition between uranus and mercury creates that tension and brings awareness to the ways these skills may be used

the opposition in general makes him super quick-witted but also very temperamental. his attention is super fickle. 

his kite comes to full fruition once he learns to reign himself in and commit his mind to a single idea.  

generally, for wonwoo this can mean that he sees communication (mercury) as his tool in order to bring a sense of change and innovation (uranus) and he’ll be successful at this because of his harmonious aspects.

and i think the best part about the uranus influence is, although they’re very individualistic, they’re sincere hope is to make the world a better place as cheesy as it sounds.

they’re goals are big in that they want to bring a positive impact to a lot of people may it be an industry, community, or even country. 

which is why i imagine wonwoo is very satisfied being in the position he is in now, where he’s able to be a source of inspiration and happiness to so many people even if it is just for a short period of time for those specific people.

not to mention his cancer influence, who would see a great deal of value in being a place of rest and comfort for other people. 

[ikonicsvtgeneration]

♡ svt reaction; asking them to take off their shirts while cuddling ♡

Writer’s note; this was requested, thank you for the request, hope you enjoy it ♡ also i had to write this twice, cuz i lost everything the first time i tried uploading it, thanks tumblr :) The first version was probably better but oh well. 

Cheol: it had been a long day of practise for Cheol, but quite a peaceful one for you, with all the boys out the dorm. You hoped to help him relax a little before going to bed, which is why you are now asking him to take off his shirt. I feel like Cheol wouldn’t ask too many questions, instead following your lead with this. He threw his shirt across the room and laid back down on the bed, with a slight pink tint to his cheeks and arms open wide, inviting you back to your euphoria.

Jeonghan: this little tease would be so annoying. Anyone who knows Han’s personality knows that he loves to tease. He would laugh and cock his head at you. ”Why do you want me to take off my shirt?” He would ask and start giggling even harder at your blushing face. ”Y/N wants to see me without a shirt.” He would sing. You should hide now if you want the teasing to ever stop. If you did hide or get mad he’s tone it down (a bit), and actually take off his shirt, and hold you against him until you cuddled him back.

Joshua: he would be the sweetest tm. Honestly so cute, he’d just nod and try not to show how pleased he was. He’s take the shirt off without a fuss, always confident enough in himself that things like these don’t phase him. You’d nuzzle your face into his neck and he’d pull you even closer than you already were. 

Jihoon: he would be more reluctant. Would probably question you on why and did he really have to and even throw in a ”but what if I get cold”. After you had successfully countered his every argument, he’d take the shirt off, put keep it on his stomach. You would lay down next to him and slowly pry the shirt away. He’d sigh as you crept onto his chest, thinking that he was a fool for you.

Hoshi: lol this boy would be so confused. His mind would be a whirlwind of thoughts directing him down different paths. Why does she want me to take my shirt off? Do girls wanna cuddle without shirts, or does she want something else? Does this mean that she’ll take her shirt off too? He would probably ask you why in a shaking voice. You would have to explain to him that it made you feel safer and closer to him, as a kind of bonding experience. After that he’d be all for it, whatever made you feel closer to him. Eventually Hosh would learn to love this as much as you did. 

Jun: he would be another quietly confident and satisfied one, like Joshua. He’d kiss your forehead first, because he was so happy you felt comfortable enough with him to ask something like this aloud. He’d throw the shirt into the laundry basket in the corner of his room and lay back down next to you, pulling the blanket on top of you both again. He would be so happy in this little paradise under your blanket.

Seokmin: Dad mode on. Would giggle just like in the gif, and ask you why. He didn’t think you wanted anything more, didn’t even cross this bby’s mind, he just genuinely didn’t know why you wanted to try this. After explaining it to him, he’d agree, but would probably keep the shirt on his chest, until you laid down on his chest and slowly but surely pried the shirt from him. Even then though, he would prefer to have a blanket over you two. And this would never happen if the rest of the boys were home. Seokmin would still prefer to cuddle with all his clothes on, as more of a modest guy. You could persuade him with taking your shirt off though. 

Wonwoo: y’all know that one smile wonu does where he grins and crinkles his nose? This is that smile central. Wonu would be a mess of different emotions, on one hand he’d be like oh my god she wants to see me half naked, and on the other hand he’d be like ?? why am I suddenly insecure? In the end though, I think he’d take it off, and feel better after you ran your nails across his chest and shyly told him he looked good. He would try not to puff his chest in proudness and would smile so big. 

Mingyu: S M U G! This big man child would be so smug that you wanted to see him like that. Eventually he’d stop though and take the shirt off. You would climb back into his lap and he would bury his face in your shoulder. After a few seconds you felt him shaking, so you looked back and saw him red faced from effort of keeping his laughter in. You’d probably jump off his lap and stomp from the room. “Babe!” He would shout behind you. “I’m sorry babe!” He’d run after you, while laughing his ass off. 

Minghao: would be so understanding. You had mentioned liking this before, so as soon as you were cuddling and you asked this of him, he jumped at the chance. Hao would throw his shirt across the room and resume cuddling you. In his sweet voice he would ask, “Is this better baobei?”. After you nodded and thanked him, voice a little sleepy, he would melt and kiss your forehead. If you get to cuddle this dream of a man, consider yourself lucky.  

Seungkwan: sweetie pie would be the most panicked member. Because why hadn’t he gone to the gym the other day when Cheol and Mingyu offered, and why did you want to see him shirtless, was there something wrong with him, oh my god had you noticed that weird birthmark? You would have to calm his wondering mind down, before even being able to explain that you just wanted to feel closer to him, but that it was okay if he didn’t want to. Then he would feel like an idiot for drawing conclusions, when you had such innocent thoughts behind the request. Would finally take off his shirt, but not without hiding under the blanket. I don’t think Seungkwan would ever be comfortable enough to just walk around the house shirtless for no reason, it’s just not him.  

Vernon: would be the coolest about it. No problem. You just wanted to be warm and feel him right? He would be probably the only member who would do this automatically when cuddle time came around, especially after showers. He would be more open to this, because it is much more normalized in the american culture, compared to the korean one. Would never ask you to, but would be so appreciative if you wore his shirt after he had taken it off, maybe with a pair of woolly socks. Would 100% melt.  

Chan: shy shy shy. Could not get over his shyness, even after everything had been talked through and you were back to cuddling. He would be so aware of your hands on his tummy, and your hair tickling his chest. Prepare lots of compliments to calm his mind and reassure him he was perfect. Even after the compliments though, his pink cheeks would be a dead giveaway to how he actually felt. And oh dear god, if any of the members even walked in on you cuddling like this, he would die. 

[qvestchen]

Nemesis // Soonwoo SVT

Summary: It was really laughable. The idea that Jeon Wonwoo had a nemesis. And yet there it was. The clear proof that all his life, like a nagging dull ache, Kwon Soonyoung had stepped all over his plans without ever really acknowledging him.

And maybe it was wrong for Wonwoo to seek him out but all he wanted was answers at first. He had never imagined they would stand opposite each other, fingers on triggers, his death in his nemesis’s hands and vice-versa.

Author: qvestchen

Status: Ongoing

Chapters: Home, Previous, Next.

Nemesis // Soonwoo SVT

Chapter 2:  But he is cursed

Soonyoung was laughing, totally immersed in a joke that his friend, Junhui, was narrating when Jihoon scoffed loudly.

“Have you two even signed up for your electives yet?”

Soonyoung and Jun stopped laughing and threw him a dark look.

“Jihoon, loosen up when you’re at the drama club,” Soonyoung said, whining slightly. “We still have till tomorrow to decide.”

Jun nodded. “A decision made at the last minute is the best.”

Seungcheol who was lazily watching the three of them while going over Jihoon’s new music with Joshua grinned at Joshua and Jihoon. “Should I break it to them?”

Jihoon smiled. “Let me do the honours this time.” He straightened up from his position on the floor and cleared his throat. “Today’s the last date for applying for electives. Good luck getting any because I’m pretty sure all of the courses are filled up by now. The good ones, anyway.”

Soonyoung frowned, still disbelieving, reaching for his phone to check the date. “You’ve probably mixed up your da—oh shit, Jun, we got to rush. It’s today!”

The two of them scrambled up quickly jumping down from the cool stage, looking for their bags.

“Joshua, what happens if two fools don’t choose their electives?” Seungcheol asked, laughing fondly at his friends.

Joshua pretended to think. “Apart from the immediate embarrassment? I would say, failing the semester, seeing everyone else pass and ooh, or worse, expulsion?”

They laughed as Jun flipped them off.

Jihoon got up too. “I’m going to the studio—”

“You mean your dorm room,” Seungcheol corrected.

“What’s in a name?” Jihoon said, gathering his things. “Got to go, folks. Inspiration calls. Wait up, you two. I’m coming up.”

“I’m planning to go to the cafeteria too,” Joshua said. “I’ll grab a sandwich and finish my essay.”

Soonyoung, who was waiting for Jun at the door, said. “I don’t understand how you like the cafeteria food so much. Especially when now we have Jeonghan’s cooking to sample.”

Joshua visibly stiffened. “I’ll see you later.” He left without looking at Soonyoung.

“What’s up with him?” Soonyoung asked Seungcheol as they locked the drama club.

“He doesn’t like the new club member.”

“Jeonghan? He has barely known him for a couple of days. How serious can it be?” He said, looking at Joshua’s retreating figure.

Seungcheol shrugged. “I have no idea. He’s usually very welcoming to the new members.”

Jihoon said, “He’s probably just worried about his essay. He’s been writing it in the cafeteria since the start of semester.”

Jun cut across. “You’re all wrong. It’s the sexual tension.”

“O-kay, that’s our cue to leave,” Soonyoung said, dragging Jun to the Language and Literature block.

There was a huge line of students at the Chinese department so Jun suggested that Soonyoung should go ahead. “Unless you want to take the class with me which would be amazing, to be honest.”

“You’re Chinese. You’re going to ace it but it’s a bit too heavy an elective for me. Intro to Persian is famous for being a light elective. Let me just rush and sign up for it and come back for you.”

Soonyoung walked outside the department room and was immediately hit by the sound of students loudly discussing plans but the noise died out as he left the English and Chinese language departments behind and climbed upstairs to the quiet, dusty corridor which housed the small, air-conditioned room that worked as the reception of the Persian department. He knocked at the glass door and waited before poking his head inside. “May I come in?”

The man at the small reception desk looked up from the computer screen with intense dislike at having been disturbed from his solitary afternoon ruminations. “Since you’re here, you might as well.”

Soonyoung walked inside quietly, smiling a bit awkwardly. “I could come back later if you’re busy.”

Truth be told, the great ‘angel’ of the drama club who was famous for being loud, boisterous and confident, the friendly Soonyoung was, outside his drama club and otherwise small group of friends, a shy, polite person especially in front of people he didn’t know. Right now, he was a stark contrast to his popular image (Jihoon often joked “it is the Gemini in him”) but the fact was that he was all of this together, a complex person, a bit forgetful at times but an easily endearing person, the kind who made people feel at ease.

The man at the desk seemed to consider his words. “How can I help you today?”

Soonyoung smiled warmly. “I came to sign up for the ‘Introduction to Persian Language and Culture’ course. Wait I have my ID copy and registration form somewhere here.” He rummaged in his backpack, apologetically. “Ah, here it is.”

He was handed a sheet. “You’re lucky. We just had one spot left. Fill in your details, name, course, email and so on and sign here.”

“Oh wow,” Soonyoung said, writing down his name, “I am so grate—” His phone rang, a hip-hop number filling the small room. His eyes widened and he apologized, looking at his phone. It was Joshua probably calling to tell him that the cafeteria had some semi-edible delicacy. He silenced his phone, filling in the details and signing with a flourish, before picking up the phone. He nodded to receptionist. “Thank you for everything. I’m looking forward to the classes.” He winced as he heard Joshua nearly screaming out of his phone. “Hello, Joshua. You sound excited. What’s up? Yes, I just finished signing up for the Persian elective. No, no, I don’t want to change. I would love to study English but I would probably fail, see everyone else pass and ooh, or worse, get expelled?” He laughed his characteristic loud, happy laugh, swinging outside the door, not even realising that someone was standing right outside. If he had realized that he had nearly crashed the door into a very annoyed student he would have no doubt stopped and apologized profusely but as it was, he was totally immersed in the call with a frantic Joshua who, unsuccessfully, wanted him to change his elective for some inexplicable reason.

After Joshua mysteriously said a sudden goodbye, Soonyoung reunited with Jun in the Chinese department who was still standing in the queue. “You won’t believe it but I made it just in time.”

Jun said, “I hope I get lucky too. There’s so many people that I’m worried the course will get filled by the time my chance comes.”

As they waited, Soonyoung wondered aloud about Joshua’s strange call and recent behaviour in general. “I hope he’s okay.”

Jun assumed a saint-like expression. “I’m telling you it’s Jeonghan. I think Joshua is experiencing a crush for the first time ever.”

Joshua was, in fact, experiencing something totally different. After having reached the cafeteria and spotting Seokmin and Hansol, he had placed himself within earshot at a table nearby, pretending to work on his essay. He hadn’t expected to hear much but instead he got to know that Wonwoo had decided to take Persian.

He had been unable to stop himself from exclaiming in pure shock. “What!?” No, no, that could not happen. He could not allow that to happen. Soonyoung and Wonwoo could not be allowed to cross paths. As if on cue, the bracelet around his wrist heated up, the runes no doubt signalling impending disaster. He gathered his things into his backpack and between rushing to get up and calling Soonyoung simultaneously, he tripped and fell.

The loud exclamation and following fall alerted Seokmin and Hansol to him and Seokmin even began to reiterate the information but he was already rushing out of the cafeteria, nearly shouting in his phone.

He was crossing the threshold of the cafeteria when something in the corner of his vision seemed to slow down time.

A flash of blonde hair.

Yoon Jeonghan.

Maybe time did slow down because it must have been fraction of a second but Joshua could feel his heart drop as Jeonghan returned his gaze, a taunting smile foretelling his failure to stop things from happening. Still smiling, Jeonghan tilted his head in a greeting and then, time sped up again and turning back, Soonyoung’s voice sounding through his phone, Joshua’s heart dropped as he noticed Jeonghan walking to Seokmin and Hansol’s table.

He had been right. The Warlock was here to stay.

The scene vanished as he tumbled suddenly into a quiet classroom instead of walking out of the cafeteria. “Uh, Soonyoung,” he continued to speak in his phone, “please, don’t take the elective. How about you take English with me? Or, I don’t know, Geography, I’ve heard they still have seats.” But Soonyoung had already cut the line.

He jiggled his bracelet which was warning him of unauthorised magic use but at the same time burning with an urgency that he knew well to read. Soonyoung and Wonwoo were going to cross paths and here, his teleportation magic was shortcircuiting as usual. He groaned aloud. “I’m doing it for them. I’m not using magic for myself.”

He let out a breath, trying to calm himself down. Okay, one more try. He walked to the classroom door and turned the handle, closing his eyes as he walked out.

The air shifted around him and suddenly, he could smell old paper and musty air-conditioning. He sighed in relief on opening his eyes and found himself in the Persian department.

The man at the desk made an irritated noise at seeing him. “The course is closed.”

Joshua walked up to him with a small smile. “You are sleeping right now. I am a figment of your imagination. How about you move on to another dream?” He clenched his fist as his bracelet shuddered with the magic use. He wondered if it would work. Even if it did, it would only work for mere seconds. His magic was limited by the bracelet, taking a physical toll on him to work. Suddenly, a thought of Jeonghan crossed his mind. That one did not have a bracelet. He must be immensely powerful. Immediately, he shook his head. But he is cursed.

His magic seemed to be working for the receptionist eyes glazed slightly, eyelids drooping and his head lolled to the side as slight snores filled the air.

Joshua got to work. He crossed off Soonyoung’s name and details from the list, not even needing to check the list above the last name. Opening the folder beside it, he took out Soonyoung’s ID copy and registration form, stuffing them in his pocket. It took him less than five seconds and the receptionist had already begun to show signs of waking up. He walked to the door, turning one last time to mumble an apology and then, he was walking out.

The air shifted and he was wrinkling his nose, knowing already that his teleportation had messed up again. He was in the washroom beside the cafeteria. Not as offtrack as it could have been though, he reasoned, checking the runes on his bracelet. It was cool again, no warning signs. Disaster had been averted. Soonyoung and Wonwoo had been steered clear of each other.

He noticed that his hands were shaking and pursed his lips before walking out of the cubicle. He caught his reflection in the mirror. His face was ashen. The magic always took a toll, even if he used it for the right purposes. He washed his face and patted it dry with a tissue before walking out confidently.

If anyone had seen him walk out, they wouldn’t have thought him any different from any other student. That gave him comfort and he had even begun to smile a bit, feeling happy with his quick thinking when he walked into the cafeteria. His smile dropped as he found himself under the attention of everyone at the table he had earlier been eavesdropping on. He felt like he was suffocating as he saw Jeonghan sitting alongside Wonwoo.

He knew already that his efforts today were only temporary. Now that Soonyoung and Wonwoo’s lives had a thin common factor—Jeonghan. The warlock seemed to sense his thoughts and raised an eyebrow in challenge.

Jisoo, won’t you come meet my new friends?

His eyes bulged as he recognized the smooth, taunting voice in his head. Jeonghan knew his name. How did he know it? What else did he know?

Get out of my head, Jeonghan. He turned around and walked out of the place, finding himself inadvertently walking into the Chinese department where Soonyoung and Jun were still waiting for Jun’s turn at the registration.

“Joshua? What are you doing here?” Soonyoung asked, brightly.

He looks so happy, he thought, he doesn’t know what I’ve done. He wanted to say sorry for denying his friend his chosen elective. Maybe he could sign him up here. He opened his mouth to suggest it in some subtle way but no sound came out.

Jun clapped. “You’re joining this elective too? What made you change your mind?”

Joshua wanted to say something but his mouth had gone dry and even as he walked to his friends, his body was leaden. He could see their expression drop right before the world spotted and darkened.

The last thing he heard was Jun screaming.

It was, in fact, Soonyoung screaming. Together the two of them managed to haul him to the medic’s room in the building while a teacher rang up the campus hospital.

“Is he okay?” Soonyoung asked the nurse, his face stained with tears, after they had settled Joshua down a bit. It had only been minutes but Jun and him had panicked and called everyone. They were all on the way, including Jeonghan who had called Soonyoung and caught him crying.

The nurse smiled warmly at the two of them. “It’s exhaustion and probably stress but he’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?” he asked again. He looked at his friend who was now on the hospital bed. He looked tired, slight dark circles beneath his eyes and pale, blotchy skin.

“Maybe we should call his parents?” Jun said, worriedly.

They looked at each other, suddenly realizing they had no idea how to contact Joshua’s parents.

Soonyoung picked up Joshua’s jacket. “It will be on his phone.” He unlocked the phone easily, priding himself at knowing the passcode, but frowned when he looked at the contacts. He just had four numbers saved. Soonyoung, Seungcheol, Jihoon and Junhui.

Jun who was beside him looked surprised too.

“Well?” the nurse asked.

Soonyoung kept the phone back. “You could say we are his family. I’ll stay with him here tonight.”

“Okay, how about you get these medicines from the prescription here and get him and yourself a change of clothes and toiletries?” the nurse said.

Soonyoung was reluctant to leave but Jun nodded.

“Go. I won’t leave. Don’t worry.”

And so he was walking out of the hospital when someone’s heavy backpack knocked into his chest. He lost balance and grabbed at air, eyes widening as he realized that he was heading straight for the open window.

A hand caught his t-shirt and pulled him back.

“Watch where you’re going, will you?” Seungcheol said, steadying him. “If you fell from here, you would probably die.” He pulled shut the window pane, securing it firmly, after glaring in the direction of the person who had collided with Soonyoung. “I’m going to complain to the admin about these windows here.”

“It’s okay,” Soonyoung said, rubbing his chest. “I wasn’t seeing where I was going. You go ahead. I’ll just get these medicines and—”

“Jihoon is getting nightwear and other stuff so don’t worry. Should I get the medicines?” Seungcheol asked.

“Thank God for Jihoon. I’ll get the medicines though. You go ahead.”

When Soonyoung returned, he found his friends waiting outside the room. “What happened?”

“He’s sleeping right now so that’s fine,” Jun said.

Jihoon looked furious. “The nurse kicked us out because we were crowding the place.”

“We aren’t even that many,” Soonyoung said.

“Jeonghan dropped in with a friend. Remember the idiot who nearly killed you near the window here. That’s his friend, Jeon Wonwoo. I nearly told him off. Anyway, I politely thanked them but knowing Joshua wouldn’t be happy to see Jeonghan when he woke up, I somehow managed to get rid of them for now.”

The packet of medicines slipped from Soonyoung’s fingers.

Jeon Wonwoo?

“D-Did you say Jeon Wonwoo?” No, what he wanted to ask was, he is real?

He felt sick. The name was echoing in his head like a ghost haunting his veins. Wonwoo. Wonwoo. Wonwoo. The spectre which followed him only to disappear. Soonyoung had thought he had got over him. He had spent a good part of his high school life chasing after this name. Only to find nothing. He had sworn himself to let go, to forget, convinced himself that there was no such person, that everything that happened, every little incident, every whisper, was nothing, had told himself to stop looking for that glint of spectacles, that soft head of dark hair, that once-heard deep voice, because they were all red herrings.

“Yes, do you know him? He was kind of weird. I mean, he said he saw Joshua at the cafeteria when he was with you guys.”

And yet there it was. The name and the person.

He dialled Jeonghan’s number hurriedly. “Hey, is—is someone…this is going to sound weird but do you know…do you have a friend named Wonwoo?”

hello, hope you enjoyed the new chapter!

lots of things happened, we got to see a bit more about soonwoo's relationship of sorts, more about joshua (and his powers and limits) and jeonghan, and we met soonyoung's friends! what did you think of the chapter? are you ready for soonwoo to meet next chapter?

side note: "Introduction to Persian Language and Culture" is an elective course i took in uni. this is a little bit of a background story for this fic but in our uni this course was immensely popular among the students because it was supposed to be easy to score marks in. and it turned out to be true lol because of the structure of the course (rather than the content or anything else) and the fact that we only did basic language in the course. i actually enjoyed the course and loved learning the language and about the culture. persian is a beautiful language. unfortunately, my classmates and i, did not, even after a year of the course, become fluent. idk i thought this would explain this bit of the fic and some of the references that i'm using. most of the uni scenes in this fic are going to be typical uni student lives but with seventeen.

thank you for supporting <3 love, positive vibes and great friendships!

[joshpup]

To Love or Not To Love // Pt. 16

Intro // Pt. 1 // Pt. 2 // Pt. 3 // Pt. 4 // Pt. 5 // Pt. 6 // Pt. 7 // Pt. 8 // Pt. 9 // Pt. 10  // Pt. 11// Pt. 12 // Pt. 13 // Pt. 14 // Pt. 15 // Pt. 16 // Pt. 17 Word Count: 2,624 Genre: Svt Mafia Au Member: Mingyu TW: same as always Note: im back from the dead, idk how long this kick will last but im going to try and finish this series. also no hard feelings against mx, love that group more than anything, it just fit lol

The day finally came for you to send everyone off on their mission, leaving you behind. Well, to be exact you, Jihoon and Seungkwan would be staying behind. Jihoon was staying behind to hand the electronic side of things from the base, and Seungkwan...honestly, you weren’t sure what he was staying behind for. Everyone had disappeared into the one room you weren’t allowed into, and when they came out it was like a different group of people had emerged. The thirteen boys you had run into when your cafe was being taken over were now standing in front of you again, preparing for yet another mission.

           “Alright,” Seungcheol began, “so, let’s go over the plan one more time.”

           You weren’t sure if Seungcheol didn’t know you were there, or just didn’t care at this point, but you were able to pick up quite a bit about the mission. The boys would be going onto a huge boat from what it sounded like. Wonwoo was supposed to do something with cameras and an elevator first from what you heard, then Junhui would be sneaking in, disguised as a delivery man. He was already in his black outfit and fiddling with his earpiece, set to make his “delivery” right away. Jihoon would be doing stuff on his end too and was supposed to alert Junhui through his watch. Damn, they planned this out well… you thought to yourself as you heard them go over more of the plan. No wonder they haven’t been caught yet… Hansol was supposed to sneak in with the staff and help Soonyoung and Minghao, who were then to get to a certain point without triggering anything and turn off the alarm. Simple enough. Whatever they were going after had to be pretty intense for all this planning. You heard the word “bombs” a few to many times to feel comfortable about it and tried to focus your mind on something else. The thought of everyone going off to do something dangerous made you feel uneasy. They were your family now after all.

           “We’re going to head out now.” Mingyu said, walking over to you. You stood up from your spot on the couch and looked at him. He had dyed his once dark hair to a bleach blonde, and even went as far as to cut it a lot shorter than you had been used to seeing. He wore a yellow and black turtleneck sweater and a long black coat over it. Not something you would expect to see him in while he’s trying to sneak onto a huge boat.

           “You’re wearing that?” you questioned.

           “What, does it look bad? I thought it would go well with my new hair…” Mingyu said, looking down at his sweater.

           “No, it looks fancy. And I like your new hair, it’s just not what I expected to see you in. you are like storming a boat right? Actually, everyone’s dressed really nice...”

           “(Y/n), we’re mafia members, not some lowlife thugs.” Mingyu said with a chuckle.

           “Right…” you rolled your eyes, “of course, how silly of me.” Mingyu gave you a look but said nothing. “Good luck with everything, even though I’m pretty sure this is all illegal. Just come back to me safe, okay?”

           “Well, know that you’ve told me that, I have no choice but to come back unharmed.” Mingyu said with a cheeky smile.

           You and Seungkwan watched as they drove down the long path, and eventually disappeared into the woods, while Jihoon headed straight for his “office” as he called it.

           “Seungkwan, what are you going to be doing here?” you questioned after silence had finally settled into the house.

           “That’s a secret.” He said with a smirk before disappearing into his room as well. Then, you were met with complete and utter silence. A quiet, still, empty silence you hadn’t heard in months. With thirteen boys in the house, there’s never silence, from snoring at night, to yelling during the day, and the constant background music playing, there is never silence. You hadn’t realized just how much you had missed it. The first thing you did? Sleep of course. Because why not. You woke up around lunch, bored out of your mind. At least when the guys were here you had someone to talk with. Sitting around the house like this was excruciating. The once blissful silence had become stifling.

You tried to listen through the walls to Jihoon’s office but heard only the clicking of keys. No sound came from Seungkwan’s room, leaving you alone for sure. You snuck into Mingyu and Wonwoo’s shared room and pulled a few books you had never read before and settled down on the couch to read. Jihoon only came out of the office once, he shuffled into the kitchen, grabbed a donut, and shuffled back to the office, not staying a single word. You heard a few crashes from his office not long after that but didn’t bother to go investigate. If something during the mission went wrong, you didn’t want to be anywhere near the short boy.

You fixed yourself a small, late lunch, then returned to your book. Nothing much seemed to be happening, that is, until late afternoon. All of the sudden, Seungkwan busts out of his room, dressed in a sweater and pulling on his long tan coat before flying out of the front door, hopped on a motorcycle and tore down the road. Curses erupted from Jihoon’s office, and you decided it would be best if you retreated into your room. Hopefully everyone was alright. The thought of Mingyu was constantly floating around in the back of your mind after that. The sun had finally set and the moon shone brightly outside. Your peered out of one of the front windows and saw a small light coming towards the house, which you assumed was Seungkwan coming back. You moved from the window and around the house, cleaning up little things here and there since you had nothing else to do. You threw yourself down on the couch, waiting for Seungkwan to come through the front door. You hoped that he would finally be free and the two of you could talk, you were even willing to cook up some sort of dinner for him if he wanted. He never came however. Instead you were met with creaks in the house

That was a lot more creaking then the house usually made on its own though. Maybe Jihoon had come out of his office for dinner? You stood up from the couch and slowly headed towards the door leading to the rest of the house. You peeked your head around the corner and saw no one. But what you did see made your heart jump into your throat. The front door was open. Wide open… any normal person would have stayed put. If the front door was open and you could hear someone moving around, not good to go blindly walking in. Then again, it’s not like you could call the police if anyone had broken into the house. You didn’t even know where the dang house was, let alone bring the police straight to a mafia base? Not smart.

You snuck further through the door a little further to see if you could catch a glimpse of whoever was in the house if anyone at all. Your heartbeat seemed to be right in your ears, and you felt as if your breathing was now the loudest thing on earth. You tiptoed around, hoping to at least get to the stairs and rush up to Jihoon’s office unnoticed and some backup. After all, someone breaking into a base of a mafia by themselves doesn’t really stand a chance at all. If there were others…now that’s a different story. You had almost made it to the base of the stairs when you heard someone whisper your name. you physically jumped upon hearing it and whipped around to see none other than Hoseok standing there. Your Hoseok…Monsta X’s Wonho, standing in Seventeens base home.

           “What are you doing here?” You whisper, not moving an inch from where you stood.

           “I came to get you.” Hoseok whispered, moving closer towards you.

           “Uhhhh… no thanks?” you whispered. “you need to go, Jihoon’s still here!”

           “I know, that’s why you have to come quick, he won’t notice for a while if we go now.” Hoseok whispered in a rush, already making a move towards the door.

           “Hoseok, I’m not going to leave.” You stated.

           “Why? They kidnapped you, I’ve been planning to come get you today ever since the ball.”

           “Because even if I do get out, I can’t just go back to my normal life. Not now, not ever. I’m stuck like this forever now, there’s no point in running away.”

           “But you could at least come with me and stay with someone you actually know. The other guys in my gang are super nice.” Hoseok explained.

           “But Seventeen is just as nice, I like it here with them. Plus, if you take me, that will just ruin the relationship between the two groups.” You whispered, still worried Jihoon would come down and find Hoseok in his house. “How did you even find me?”

           “I’ve been tracking you for years now. I knew the exact moment you got tangled up with seventeen. I knew when Mingyu kept coming to your café that something was up. I should have pulled you out before anything happened but I was too late. It was a bit harder to find you after seventeen had taken you to their base, but I found you eventually.” Hoseok explained, moving away from the door and closer to you once he realized you weren’t going to follow him.

           “Wow, that’s…that’s really creepy.” Was all you could say.

           “Look, I didn’t come all this way to leave without you, (y/n).” Hoseok said in almost a growl. Now you were starting to get a little freaked out. The Hoseok you knew in high school was so different from the Hoseok you were seeing now. It was starting to scare you. You were contemplating running up the stairs to get to Jihoon, but right as you were about to bolt up the stairs, Hoseok grabbed your arm, yanked you back and clamped his hand over your mouth. You tried to break free but he was to strong compared to you. There was no way you were going to be able to break free. You thrashed around, hoping that your thumbing against the floor would catch Jihoon’s attention, but you had the feeling he had his headphones on to fully focus on their mission. Amidst the horrible feeling of being betrayed by your once close friend and not being able to break free, you were being kidnapped again. You shouldn’t have even been kidnapped once, why did you have to say again. Before you could put up even more of a fight, a cloth was held against your face. You held your breath for as long as possible while you tried to pull your face away from his strong grip, but eventually you had no other choice but to breath into the cloth, leading you to black out not much longer.

           When you woke up you were met with a very familiar feeling. The familiar feeling of waking up sore, confused and very, very unhappy. You had been kidnapped yet again. However, this time you felt a little calmer than before. You didn’t wake up in a car this time around though. You woke up in a bed in a rather small room. You sat up and rubbed your temples, becoming painfully aware of the throbbing headache. You rolled out of the bed and headed towards the door and were surprised when you found the door to be unlocked. You slowly opened the door and poked your head out and glanced around. You could hear people talking downstairs, but other than that there was nothing else. The halls were empty save a few shut doors and big windows. You slowly crept over towards the stairs and peered over the railing, trying to get a better view on where you were. You couldn’t believe you had gotten kidnapped again. Right under Jihoon’s nose as well. Was Mingyu going to think you ran away? Both him and Joshua knew you had been thinking about it… were the going to come look for you? Would they even bother to look for you? It’s not like you were technically part of their gang, in all honesty, you were essentially dead weight to them. Maybe Seungcheol would be glad to finally have you off his hands.

           You stood at the top of the stairs, contemplating what you should do. Should you stay in your room and refuse to come out, try and make a break for a door or window and escape, or just walk down in and see all the members of Monsta X again. Eventually you decided to go downstairs and just see what happens. If you saw a place to get out, you’d go for it. Even if you had no idea where you were, getting out would be a good start. If you didn’t find a way out, maybe you would be able to get in contact with seventeen somehow through one of the members. If these two gangs really were as close as they’ve said before, there should be a way they contact each other. Maybe you would be able to get a message to them and let the seventeen members know who had you. Whether your idea was complete impossible and dumb, it was better than anything. Then again, you thought as you slowly crept down the stairs, if Hoseok could track me so long, seventeen should be able to find me, right? After all, if Jihoon really was as good as tracking and Joshua said he was, shouldn’t he be able to find you? So many thoughts were swirling through your head you hadn’t even realized you’d already made it to the room were all the voices had been coming from. You stood in the frame of the door as you stared at seven boys, who were looking back at you.

           “Oh, you’re up.” Hoseok declared.

           “Yah.”  You replied, all nervousness leaving you and becoming replaced with annoyance. “Take me back home please.”

           “Home?” Hoseok repeated. “How did that place become your home?”

           “Probably the same way this place became your home.” You said, frustrated.

           “Then you should easily be able to adjust to this place and make it your home. You’ll be happier here, honest.” Hoseok declared.

           “Yah right.” You said before turning and heading upstairs. However, something caused you to stop at the foot of the stairs and listen. A little bit after you had left the room you heard hushed voices talking.

           “Wonho, I still don’t think we should keep them here.” A voice said.

           “I know what they mean to you, but maybe you can just let them go back to their normal life? They don’t have to go back to seventeen…” you wanted to stay around and here the rest of their conversation, but upon hearing the scrap of chair legs and footsteps you quickly launched yourself upstairs so no one would find out you had been listening in on their conversation. You sat down on the edge of your bed and ran your fingers through your hair. It’s not like anything bad was happening to you, but god you wanted to leave. You wanted to go home. Not your original home, no, you wanted to go to your home were your family was. Where Seventeen was.

Next...

[maknaesdancersrappers]

devoted.

Jung Jaehyun || yandere!au(ish?), thriller(???), smut (im sure about this one lol), cursing, some pretty dark shit is under that keep reading line

word count: 9k

devoted masterlist

T R I G G E R  W A R N I N G.

A/N: i usually make a sideblog for scenarios and imagines but i cant commit to writing often //sighs at exo and svt fic blogs// so i’d rather post it on my main tumblr than on my AFF account which is strictly for memberxmember only (author name is on the gif lmao i got too lazy to edit it to my tumblr url) so here’s some jaehyun smut for all his hoes, me included.

P.S. this is based off my dream the other night and i deadass almost had a panic attack from it

As a boyfriend, Jaehyun was… devoted.

It was a mutual decision; a decision he had voiced out first, but later on deeply regrets.

Jung Jaehyun meant well when he had asked to take a break from your relationship because the final months of university was harder than both of you thought. You simply had no time for each other, especially since you come from two very different courses.

It’s been almost 4 years since you two began dating, thanks to that one Gen Ed subject you miraculously shared together during freshman year. If he hadn’t been late and ended up sitting beside you, neither of you would have crossed paths again.

Jaehyun loves you, he was completely smitten that day you had accidentally swung your head to him a little too strongly and caused your hair to whiplash against his face when all he asked was for the professor’s name to put on his forms.

And you love him, ever since he had flashed his signature dimpled smile, chuckling away your apologies for having smacked his face with your hair.

From pair works in class that turned to study sessions at the library, that turned to spending breaks together at the quad, that turned to dinner dates at the nearest pizzeria, and by then all of your friends can tell that you and Jaehyun weren’t just friendly classmates anymore.

As a boyfriend, Jaehyun was… devoted. He doted you; he made sure he showed how much he loves you every second that he can. It was cute at first, until you got used to it. It had never been a bother or a burden, no matter how many times your friends would point out it was starting to be creepy. But you always shrugged them off, saying it’s simply how Jaehyun was.

First week

“You and Jae?” Ten repeats, “Are taking a break from each other?” He scoffs and nudges Doyoung, “Are you hearing this?”

“Wait, I must have something in my ears.” Doyoung sticks a finger into each ear and pretends to clean them, “Okay, can you repeat that again, (Y/N)?”

You roll your eyes at them and Yebin throws her used tissues at the boys, “Ignore them, (Y/N.) But I’m just as surprised as they are. Are you and Jaehyun really taking a break?”

“Taking a break, in our definition, is not expecting dates every other night, texting or calling during breaks, you know, the usual things we do. And if by some miracle, we bump into each other, we’d just, smile, I guess.”

“Oh thank fuck, no more kissing like you haven’t seen each other in years.” Doyoung groans, only to screech when Yebin kicks his shin under the table.

“I bet you won’t last halfway the semester. Give or take a month?” Ten shrugs his shoulders.

Doyoung snorts, “I bet you won’t last a week.”

“It was his idea and we both agreed to it. We’re graduating soon and we both promised to do our absolute best for the last semester, so we’re getting rid of distractions.”

Ten hums, “It’s just unlike him to suggest it.”

You pout at him, “And what is that supposed to mean?”

“He worships the ground you walk on.” Doyoung says in a tone like it was the most obvious thing that existed. “He worships you.”

“He’s just affectionate.” The bell rings, “And we’ll be late for class.” You stand up from your seat and they follow suit.

Third week

It took a while for you to get adjusted to the fact you’re on a break with Jaehyun. There were plenty of times you had to stop yourself from texting him to ask how he was or if he’s up to eat out together. When there was a knock on your apartment door, you had imagined it was him and not the food delivery you forgot about.

One fateful Friday, none of your subjects had given out homeworks to slave on during the weekend and Yebin had demanded for a mandatory and much needed girl’s night out at the new bar outside of campus. You were fine with the idea, until one of your friends, Minkyung, had took it upon herself to dress you up.

“No.” You automatically told her the second her hand reached for the last dress on the rack in your closet. It was probably the shortest dress you had owned. Despite its sweetheart neckline and flowy cloth, the A-line dress was cut off just above your thighs. It wasn’t the best dress to wear on windy days, to say the least. “That’s too short.”

“It’s cute and sexy!”

“But Jae–”

Minkyung cuts you off with a snap, “Last time I checked, you and Jaehyun are currently on break. Let your legs and ass breathe while they can. You’ve kept your best assets in pants or baggy shorts because Jaehyun doesn’t like it when guys ogle them.”

“Uhm, I don’t like being ogled by other guys, too.” You weakly shot back but she had already forced the dress on you and pushed you to the bathroom.

It didn’t take long for the three of you to get ready and hop into a cab that took you to the bar Yebin had not shut up about days prior from tonight. It was the typical bar set up, with booths surrounding the dance floor with 3 bartenders manning the bar and serving up cocktails one after the other.

Minkyung was fast enough to secure a booth for the three of you and you slip inside while Yebin ordered some drinks.

You realize that it’s been a long time since you were able to go out with them like this. You had always spent your free time with Jaehyun and although you missed him, this was a nice change, too.

Halfway through the night and six margaritas and 3 shots of tequila later, Minkyung and Yebin had coaxed you onto the dance floor. Intoxicated, you sway your body to the beat, laughing and singing along with your girls. You abruptly stop when a hand glides down from your waist to your hips.

“Excuse me, but I have a boyfriend.” You slurred a bit, but stood your ground to glare at the boy that felt you up.

“Really? Where is he then? Hm?”

You size him up quickly, he was shorter than Jaehyun but had Johnny’s built.

“It’s called a girl’s night out, jackass, so fuck off.” Yebin pulls you away but he grabs your arm and you cry in pain.

“I wasn’t talking to you, short stuff.” He hisses at Yebin, who responds with a harsh stomp on his foot.

Minkyung and Yebin whisks you away from him while he cusses at her.

“Are you okay? God, some guys are just jerks.” Minkyung snarls, pulling you into a hug.

“I’m fine. I’m sorry for spoiling our night out.” You reassured her.

“You didn’t spoil it, babe. That jackass did. Besides, we’ve had one too many to drink, we should head on home.” Yebin pulls out her phone and books an Uber for the three of you.

Hangovers are the worst. Usually, Jaehyun would have prepared you some painkillers and a decent breakfast, but today, you and your roommates ate cereal in front of the television with the volume down low.

“I feel like shit. Are we too old to enjoy getting wasted already? Shit!” Yebin cries, clutching her head with one hand while jamming a spoonful of soggy cornflakes into her mouth.

“Someone ask somebody to bring us painkillers. My head is killing me.” Minkyung whines, rubbing her temples.

You grab your phone and to text Doyoung, who instantly replied with his dismay of your state but will still bring over some painkillers.

The television suddenly sounds an alarm, making all three of you groan and cover your ears.

“Breaking News from Seoul Central University. Finance student, Kim Iljung, 22, was found beaten up outside a bar on the outskirts of the campus. The victim reported that he was ambushed from behind with a bat and was not able to see his assailant.”

“(Y/N), isn’t that the guy that felt you up?” Minkyung points out and you look at the ID photo the news report flashed.

“Oh shit, yeah. Oh my god.” You gasp as the reporter described the injuries the boy had sustained.

“Kim claims that he does not know who did this and the reason behind it. He is currently recovering in the campus hospital and is working with the campus police to catch his assailant.”

“Serves him right for molesting (Y/N)! Karma’s a bitch.” Yebin says, drinking the leftover milk from her bowl.

“Karma or not, it’s scary. To be randomly assaulted like that? What if one of us were in his place?” You visibly shuddered. “I mean, who could do something like that?”

Ninth week

You’ll be having your period soon.

You know this because on top of craving all sorts of food twentyfour-seven and experiencing drastic mood swings to your friend’s unfortunate luck, you had to deal with a need that Jaehyun knew all too well to handle. But you haven’t contacted him as part of the conditions of taking a break which only meant you had to take care of yourself.

It was half past midnight when you were sure your roommates were in deep sleep in their respective rooms that you decided to lock your room and raise the volume of the music you usually played at night just a tad louder in case you got a little too vocal.

You haven’t touched yourself in a long time. And even if you had, it was under the predatory gaze of your boyfriend.

Play with yourself. He’d command and you would automatically open your legs and obey.

Everything felt tentative and unsure while your hands ran up and down your naked body. Your mind conjured up scenarios of all the times you and Jaehyun had fooled around and finally, your hand made its way to your core. Sighing, you circle your clit with the tip of your forefinger and shudder at the sensation.

You bite down your lower lip when you attempt to slip your finger inside you. After a few pumps, you slip in a second finger and a moan escapes you accompanied by your boyfriend’s name.

Yes, baby, that’s it. You could practically hear him whisper the words.

“Shit.” You remembered the last time you and Jaehyun masturbated with each other. Much like how you were lying down on your bed with your legs spread out and fingers knuckle-deep inside you, you imagined Jaehyun seated at the chair by your study table, with his large hand wrapped around his cock. You whimpered when you remembered how his eyes watched your fingers disappear inside you.

“A-ah.” You softly cry when you pump faster and harder, trying to match the speed and force Jaehyun had always used on you, but ultimately failed. You plant your feet on the mattress and lift your hips up when you finally feel yourself find the pleasure you’ve been craving for. “Jae.” You whine as your other hand squeezed one of your boobs.

There was a low groan that echoed into the room and for a split second you thought you had imagined it, but it sounded all too real and all too close for it to be a fragment of your imagination. You shoot up from the bed, your hands grabbing the sheets to cover your body as your eyes dart to the window to see a shadow move across it.

Fear seizes your heart, but you had to confront it. As quickly as you can, you run to your window and open it. Your dorm was on the second floor and if there was someone who had seen you, he was fast enough to go down the fire escape. But you shake it off, hoping it was nothing but your imagination.

You close the window before you can catch a cold, not noticing the gooey, white substance splattered on the window pane.

Sixteenth week

Finals were next week and you were at your wits end. You were neck deep in stress and you were desperate to release it. You were in no mood to drink and the girls had their own finals to study for. As you walked home late at night from the library, you stop in front of the university gymnasium.

It had been a while since you’ve went swimming.

You quit the team when you learned that Jaehyun quit the basketball team to make time for you.

The pool would have long been closed by now, but that’s not gonna stop you from sneaking in. You jumped the fence after checking no one was around and made your way to the building where the pool was.

The janitors always kept a spare key inside the emergency fire hose and with that, you successfully entered the indoor swimming pool.

The pool lights were left on as usual and you drop your bags to the side, your clothing following them soon after.

With only your matching red underwear, you slowly slip into the pool, half-moaning and half-whining at the cold water enveloping your body. When your body adapted to the coldness, you dive down and swim close to the tiled floor. From under the water, you look up and panicked when a blurred black mass stood at the side of the pool, causing you to resurface.

“Jesus Christ!” You gasp when you realized who it was. “Jaehyun!” You scolded, “You scared me!”

“Sorry.” He chuckles, lowly, pulling out one of his earbuds from his ear and letting it fall out from the hoodie of his jacket.

“How did you even know I was here?”

“I was out for a jog when I saw you jump the fence.” Once he said that, you noticed he was wearing his usual running clothes. There were a few beads of sweat sliding down his face and his breath was a little ragged. He squats down and offers you a half smile, “If anything, I should be asking you why you’re sneaking into the pool after closing time.”

You bite your lip and swim towards him. “The past weeks have been hard on me and I need to destress. Won’t you help me, Jae?”

His eyes darkened despite the pool lights shining in them. “I don’t think that’s how taking breaks from a relationship works, (Y/N).”

“We’ve made it this far, Jae. Can’t we cheat this break thing?”

“(Y/N)” He warns.

“Please, Jae. For me?” You unconsciously bat your lashes at him and he sighs.

“I don’t have my swimming trunks.”

You giggle at him, “If you haven’t noticed, I’m in my underwear.”

He watches you a little bit more and you thought he was hesitating, so you reach up and unzip his jacket for him. “Do you need help or are you going to let me play by myself?”

That made him smirk and he rises from the ground, discarding his jacket and peeling his shirt away.

Your mouth went dry at the sight of seeing his body again and it made you almost guilty to feel so sexually deprived for the past months. He pushes his running shorts down and reveals his boxers.

Your teeth bite down on your lips again when he kicks his shoes off and smirks at you before diving head first into the water. You swim backwards, trying to tease him as he swims to you from underneath. He resurfaces right in front of you the second your back hits the side of the pool.

Jaehyun wipes away the excess water off his face while you wrap your arms around his shoulders.

“Hi.” You whisper, laughing when he flashes you a smile as you helped pushed his wet hair back.

“Hi.” He breathes, grabbing onto your thighs and guiding your legs around him. “So you needed to destress?”

You nod your head, sliding the hand that pushed his hair back down the side of his face. “How are you gonna help me?”

He pulls your hips closer and grinds his erection against your clothed sex, eliciting a silent gasp from you. “I can think of a few things.”

“C-care to show me?” You stuttered, unable to say anything else as Jaehyun continues to gyrate his hips into you.

For the first time in months, you kissed each other.

The open kiss was messy and sloppy, and it was desperate, needy, and hungry. You clawed his bare back, looking for support as you slid down his body. In response, he pushes you against the side of the pool, the corner biting into your back had hurt but you couldn’t care less. His tongue had invaded your mouth, stroking your own as one of his hands roughly grab your breasts, pushing above the water’s surface.

You throw your head back, resting it against the poolside as Jaehyun clumsily thumbs your hardened nipple and trails a sloppy kiss from your cheek, to your jaw, and stopped short on the side of your neck.

Just as you slowly lose yourself with Jaehyun’s actions, a high pitched whistle hurls you back to reality.

“Shame on you two, fucking in a public pool.” Deep laughter follows afterwards.

Your eyes snap to the entrance where a group of boys watched in amusement. Humiliated, you hide yourself using Jaehyun’s body who shielded you nonetheless.

“Do you mind?” He snaps at them, defensively putting his arms around you.

“Yeah, man, we do mind.” One of them hollers, “We wanted to swim in sperm-free water.”

You flinch when they laugh once more, “Jae, let’s just go.”

He doesn’t react immediately; dark eyes glaring straight to the space behind you. His breathing had slowed and became heavy.

“Jaehyun,” You cup his cheek and make him face you, “Baby, let’s just go.”

It takes him another second to react. He closes his eyes and kisses your forehead. “Okay.”

The guys didn’t pay attention to either of you anymore as they jumped into the far end of the pool. Jaehyun helped you get out of the pool and instinctively, he checked on the guys as he got out after you. Just as he expected, one of them was checking you out while you bent over to grab your things.

“Hey!” He shouts, “I’d appreciate it if you stopped checking my girlfriend out.”

“Can’t help it, man. No wonder you can’t keep your hands off of her.” You see him look at you once more in an overly appreciative manner that made you shudder. On the corner of your eye, you can see Jaehyun tense up and ball his fists. “Jaehyun, leave him alone. It’s not worth our time, come on.”

“Do her real good, man!”

It took all your strength to hold Jaehyun down before he can even properly react. “Baby, please, I just want to go home.” You almost begged him and he finally relented.

Snatching your clothing up, both of you head for the locker rooms to dress before leaving the premises.

“Let me walk you home.” Jaehyun pulled you to his side after seeing you shiver.

After a while, he quietly says, “I’m sorry about those dickheads.”

“It’s not your fault. Maybe it’s the universe saying we shouldn’t be cheating on taking a break.” You huddled closer to him. “But I really miss you, Jae.”

“I miss you, too.” He plants a kiss on the top of your head. “We have a week left. I think we can hold out until then.”

“Until then? Hold out, what exactly?” You tease, spinning on your heels as you arrive to the doorstep of your apartment.

He leans down and kisses the spot between your jaw and your ear. “What could have happened back in the pool and so much more in the privacy of our homes.” His whisper was deep and low, tickling your ear and making you pull away with a short laugh.

“I can’t wait, then.” You let him kiss you on your lips. “Get home safely, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am. I’m sorry for not helping you destress.” Jaehyun slightly pouts at you and you smile at him.

“I had this time with you.” You shrugged your shoulders, “It helped.”

“You can always play with yourself again.” He chuckles under his breath. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” And with one last kiss, he walks away.

You turn around and reach for the door, but realization hits you before you can turn the knob.

Did Jaehyun say… ‘again’?

Seventeenth week

You were finally through with exams and all you had to do now was wait for graduation. Jaehyun still had one last exam to finish in the afternoon, as Ten told you, so you guys, along with your roommates and Doyoung, decided to go to the mall.

When everyone grew tired of window shopping, Doyoung had suggested to head over to the arcade. Yebin had challenged Ten to breaking the high score on the basketball games while Minkyung had devoted herself into getting the large minnie mouse tsum tsum in the claw machine.

“Let’s play air hockey like old times!” You pulled Doyoung by his arm.

“Right! So I can beat you, like old times.” He laughs and avoids being shoved by you.

“We’ll see about that.”

He swipes the arcade card into the air hockey machine and the puck pops out in front of you. You place the puck onto the table and grip the striker.

“Are you ready to lose?”

“I should be asking you tha–hey! That’s not fair!” He yells when you make your turn and the puck goes straight into the goal.

“Whoops.” You feigned innocence. “If you’re so great, my leading point shouldn’t be a bother.”

Grumbling to himself, Doyoung places the puck back into the table and swings as hard as he could, making it bounce everywhere before you could block it and send it back to him. He had struck it too hard and made it hit the sides that ultimately led it straight into his goal.

“What the hell!” He complains and glares at you as you laughed out loud.

“That’s two points for me!” You cheer, preparing to block his next shot.

As the game continued, you couldn’t help but laugh at all the nonsense complains Doyoung kept stuttering out. Tears even made it to your eyes when he had made an effort to put all his weight into blocking the puck but he had missed it and stumbled away from the table.

“Are you sure you’re as good at this game as you say you are?” You jeered, peeking up at him through your lashes, but your eyes catch sight of someone else. “Jae?”

Doyoung cheers when the puck slips past you while you were distracted.

You eyes flutter down when the puck plops out of the bank by your legs but you ignore it and look back behind Doyoung. Jaehyun wasn’t there anymore.

“What’s wrong?” He stops his mini celebration and turns around, trying to look for what you were staring at.

“I just… I thought I saw Jaehyun.”

He whips his head back at you with a confused expression. “He should be taking an exam right now.” He glances down at his wristwatch. “Well, if he was fast, he could be done, but it would still take him some time to get here.”

“Right. I was just seeing things.”

After a few more minutes at the arcade, you head over to a fastfood chain across the arcade.

“To console you on your loss in our neck-to-neck air hockey match, I’ll buy you ice cream.” Doyoung wraps an arm around your shoulders, “Sound good?”

“Add in some fries and maybe, just maybe, I’ll be okay about losing.”

He exaggerates a sigh, “My best friend, using me for free food.” He lightly pinches your shoulder, “You’re lucky I love you or else–”

It happened so fast that you could barely register it into your mind.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, huh? Keeping her warm for me?”

The voice didn’t register at first, but the face that owned it did.

“Dude, what the hell?!” Doyoung scrambles onto his feet with Ten’s help.

Jaehyun steps forward but you block him. “Jae, what is wrong with you?”

“What is wrong with  me? I finished my exam early and rushed here to see you, but I see him,” He juts his chin towards Doyoung, “With his arm around you.”

“What’s happening here?” A mall security guard approached your group.

“A misunderstanding, nothing we can’t handle ourselves. Sorry for the trouble.” You bow your head at him and grab Jaehyun’s arm. “Can we talk outside?”

He casts a glare at Doyoung before letting you pull him out. On the way to the exit, you recognized the same group of boys that chanced upon you and Jaehyun in the swimming pool from the previous week. You were ready to avoid their gazes, but they had seen you and immediately steered clear from you–and you didn’t fail to notice the fear in their expressions. Glancing up at Jaehyun, you could see the smug look on his face as he watches the group retreat.

You walk out into the parking lot and spin around to face him. “Do you want to explain yourself for what you did back there?”

Jaehyun frowns, “He had his arm around you.”

“I–Jae! He is Doyoung. Kim Doyoung. My best friend since pre-school. My best friend who is asexual. You know that!”

“He can’t be asexual forever. For all we know, he’s already got a crush on you!”

“Why are you being jealous of him? He’s my best friend and will always just be my best friend.”

“He just said he loves you!”

“And I love him back, as in, platonically, which I think is what he meant!” You groan in frustration. “You’re being ridiculous!”

Jaehyun scowls, “I’m being protective of my girlfriend!”

You suck in your lips and stare him down, “Your girlfriend that you’re technically on a break with.”

“What?” His body visibly tensed up.

“Maybe we should extend the break for a week or two.” You began to step back, but he follows you.

“What?” Jaehyun repeats, “Why?”

“Because, Jae,” You snap and he flinches at your tone, “I need time to get over what you just did inside to my best friend and you need time to contemplate over your actions and apologize to Doyoung.”

“(Y/N).” He whines.

“Jaehyun, please.” You cross your arms over your chest, defensively, and he stops in his tracks, looking at you with pleading eyes. You shake your head with regret and turn away, walking to the mall front.

He hadn’t followed you or tried to stop you, and you were thankful for that.

You take out your phone, book and Uber, and sent a text to Yebin, saying you’re heading home to rest, and then sent one to Doyoung, apologizing for Jaehyun’s actions and asked if he was okay.

Yebin replies with a kissy face emoji and a short message that she and Minkyung will bring home some dinner for you, to which you replied with a quick thank you.

Doyoung responds to your text a little while after, telling you that he’s fine; that nothing was broken or bleeding, and Jaehyun came back to check up on him and to apologize for punching him.

You close your phone as you see your Uber arriving and hop inside. Jaehyun had never reacted that way and it came as shock to you that he did. He was always that shy and nice kid that everyone was friends with. He was never assertive, but you knew it irked him when guys would so much give you excessive attention.

Seventeen weeks and three days

With classes over and practices for graduation rites starting in two weeks, you were left bored at home while Yebin and Minkyung had their exhibits and recitals to attend to. You woke up at noon and ate late lunch in front of the television, catching up on all the dramas you’ve missed for the sake of studying.

It pained you to watch some romantic scenes, if you were to be honest with yourself. It reminded you of Jaehyun and how he had acted a few days ago.

You learned from Ten, since he’s been seeing Jaehyun’s roommate, Johnny, that Jaehyun was either cooped up in his room or spending his hours at the gym.

The news didn’t make you feel any different. You missed him so much, but your pride wouldn’t allow you to give in. He had to apologize and admit his mistakes.

You fell asleep in the middle of a drama and was woken up by your cellphone ringing. The caller ID read Unknown, but you answer it either way.

“Hello?” You yawned. The other line was silent. Thinking there was a problem with the signal, you stand up and walk closer to the window. “Hello?” You repeat. “Who is this?”

As the line continued to remain silent, you decided to hang up.

The call was unsettling, but you shake it off and gasp to see that it was half past 8 already. You trudged to the kitchen, taking out some left overs from the fridge and pop it into the microwave. While waiting for it to heat up, you scroll through your SNS; liking pictures, watching random videos. You see Taeyong’s new profile pic that showed his newly bleached hair and you give it a heart eyes emoji react.

The microwave beeps and you close your phone to eat your dinner in silence.

As you cleaned up after your meal, you’re overcome with the sense of someone watching you. There was a palpable tension in the air and you convince yourself to look behind you. You regret not turning the lights on in the living room, leaving the open space dark and barely illuminated by the kitchen lights.

Your imagination went haywire, thinking how possible it was for someone to stand in the darkest corner and possibly staring you down, mocking how you can’t see them. But your eyes adjust to the darkness and you can map out the tall lamp shade Yebin’s mother had gifted you guys the day you moved in.

You let out an awkward, shaky laugh. “It’s all in your mind, (Y/N).”

Your phone rings, ripping through the silence and effectively made the tiny hairs all over your body stand up. “Motherfuck.” You hiss, clutching your heart as you take your phone from the counter.

It was an unknown number again.

“Hello?” You answer, a little too aggravated.

There was static on the other side and thinking the cell service was bad from the kitchen, you move to window and peek up into the cloudy sky. “Hello? This better not be a prank phone call.”

Instead of the silence you expected, you hear slow, heavy breathing.

“Hello? Who is this?” The clouds move and the moon shines the ground below. Your eyes drop to the street below and your chest tightens.

On the sidewalk that leads to your apartment building, there was a man dressed in a black hoodie, ripped jeans, and a black face mask covering half his face. He was looking up at your building, you weren’t so sure since his hoodie had casted a shadow over his eyes. But what caught your attention was his hand, holding up a phone to his ear.

You see his chest heave and at the same time, an exhale comes from the other line of your phone.

You drop your phone and stumble backwards as a scream erupts from your throat. You hear your roommates concerned shouts from outside the hall as they scramble to open the front door.

By the time they reach you, you were on the floor, shaking uncontrollably and crying from what you had seen.

Seventeen weeks and four days

Your landlady came to visit you and told you she had asked the campus police for extra security every night. They had also tried to trace the unknown number, but didn’t get any leads and guessed it came from a burner phone. Nevertheless, they reassured you that they’ll continue to investigate your case.

Minkyung and Yebin had slept beside you last night to comfort you, but the thought of having a stalker still haunted you.

You were still jittery and with your mind playing tricks on you, you grab your phone and head out.

“Hey, I heard from Ten what happened. Are you okay?” Johnny asks as he opens the door for you.

“More or less? Uhm…” You look inside the room as you toed off your shoes.

“He’s taking a shower. He actually planned to go to you, but I guess you beat him to it.” Johnny cocks his head to the small bouquet of flowers on the side table. “I’m meeting Ten for an early dinner.”

“Bye.” You quietly say as you watch him close the door behind him.

With soft steps, you make your way to Jaehyun’s room. It was tidy as it always was. You can hear him singing as the shower turned on and it makes you smile.

As you move to sit on the bed to wait for him, your eyes catch the black face mask on his table. “Has he been sick?” You frown to yourself, walking over to it. Upon closer inspection, you find an old-school phone beneath it. You dismissed it as a toy when you try to open it and consequently failed to do so.

Your eyes travel to the picture frame beside it. It was you, of course. You were with him to help him choose the picture he’d have printed and framed. You pick it up only to put it down as fast as you could when your fingers came into something sticky.

“Ugh, Jung Jaehyun!” You hiss, stretching your hand as far away as possible. You were disgusted, to say the least, but a part of you is flattered to know your boyfriend jacks off to you instead of some porno video or magazine. You walk to his laundry basket and grab the first thing you could and wiped your hands on it.

You feel bad for using one of his black hoodies to clean your hands but he’d understand. As you returned the dirty laundry back into the pile, you noticed the light washed denim jeans inside. There was an unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach when you see that they were tattered. It’s a coincidence, you convince yourself, a horrible coincidence.

You throw the jacket back into the basket and walked over to the other side of the room to sanitize your hands with the bottle of rubbing alcohol liked to keep there. Your emotions have suddenly turned a complete 180 degrees; when you stepped inside the apartment, you felt safe and secured. But after running into items that looked so out of place and had triggered your memories of the past events the last weeks, you were uneasy.

The sound of the shower turns off and you cast a glance at the bathroom door, catching your reflection on the full length mirror. You blink repeatedly, seeing (yet another) item that you did not know Jaehyun had owned.

Your heart began to speed up as you twist around to get a better look. You could hear your heart beating in your ears with every slow step you took towards the corner of the room. There, hidden behind an armchair, resting against the crevice where the adjacent walls met, was a metal baseball bat. You wanted to throw up as your mind connected the dots.

Jaehyun was always protective of you.

“(Y/N)?”

You gasp, turning around, putting a hand over your chest.

Jaehyun, dressed in a loose shirt and boxers with a towel haphazardly thrown over his head, looked as equally as surprised as you.

He couldn’t possibly have done it.

You choke on the onslaught of tears, running to him and burying your face into his chest.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay.” He automatically wraps his arms around you, smoothing your hair down. “You’re okay. I’m here. You’re safe with me.”

Jaehyun holds you tight, letting you cry out the remaining fear from the previous night, all the while placing kisses on your head and rubbing your back.

“Oh god,” You breathe in, smelling his strawberry-scented shower gel. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too.” He pulls away, tilting your face towards him. “How are you? Did you get any sleep? If I found out any sooner, I would have gone over to you.”

You shake your head, “I couldn’t sleep properly, even though Yebin and Minkyung stayed with me.”

“Have you eaten at least? Let me cook something for you to eat.”

“I-I… Don’t leave me here.” You hated yourself for sounding so weak.

Jaehyun offers you a soft smile, “No one’s going to hurt you while I’m around. But if you really don’t want to stay in my room, you can come with me to the kitchen.”

He leads you to the kitchen by the hand, his thumb running over your knuckles. He makes small talk with you, asking how your finals went, and you smile to yourself, seeing how he wanted to get your mind off last night.

You respond to his questions and watch him fry some eggs and slices of pork. It didn’t take too long for him to serve it to you with some reheated rice from this morning.

“Eat up, baby girl.”

“Baby girl?” You smirked, “Should I call you daddy, then?”

Jaehyun laughs, a blush still makes it way to the apples of his cheeks. “Be careful what you wish for.” He whispers into your ear, trying to sound seductive but ended up chuckling.

He watches you eat and from time to time, lets you feed him some.

“What are your plans after graduation?” He asks out of the blue.

You swallowed your food, “My plans?”

He nods, waiting for you to answer.

“Get a job?” You shrug, “I haven’t thought about that at all, actually.”

“How about moving into a new apartment?”

You pause for moment, “I don’t know if I can afford it, but my contract for my apartment right now ends two months after graduation so I should probably look into it.”

“Well,” Jaehyun massages his nape and avoids your gaze; a telltale sign he was nervous. He looked exactly the same when he first asked you out. “My parents graduation gift for me is my own apartment room in downtown Seoul. I was wondering if, you know, you’d want to move in with me.”

You stare at him, trying to process what he had just said. “Will your parents be okay with that? I mean, I thought you and Johnny would still be sharing an apartment.”

“He and Ten have their own plans, besides, I’m not sharing a bed with Johnny.” That makes you giggle and he lets out a short chuckle of his own, “And about my parents… they love you like their own daughter. They wouldn’t mind. I’m willing to bet they’re hoping for grandchildren in two years.”

“Woah there, big boy.” You laugh, “How about we take baby steps instead of hoping of seeing our baby take their first ones, huh?”

“Tell that to my parents.” He grumbles like a child and you reach up to pinch his cheeks.

“Anyways, I’d love to.”

“Hm?”

“I’d love to move in with you.”

It takes a second for Jaehyun to grin at your answer, both cheeks displaying a dimple each. “Really?”

You giggle at his reaction, biting down on your lower lip while you nod. “Yes, really.”

He pulls you in for multiple kisses, making you laugh in between each one. The last one he planted stayed longer against your lips, igniting a heat below your belly. His tongue grazes your lips and you instantly grant him access into your mouth, moaning at the sensation of his tongue sliding against yours.

His hands snake onto your thighs, roughly massaging them before pulling you tight against his body. You cling onto him; mouths undetached as he hauls you up and takes you back to the bedroom.

As if you were a delicate piece of china, Jaehyun sets you down on his bed with utmost care. He pulls away from the kiss, leaving a string of saliva between your lips before it snaps as he straightens himself to remove his shirt.

“Oh, god.” You groan, “I can’t believe I lasted 4 months.” You palmed him over his boxers with one hand while the other travelled upwards, fingers dancing across the expanse of the hard muscles of his abdomen and chest. Before you can slip your hands into his shorts, he grabs both of your wrists.

“I still owe you a destresser.” Jaehyun reminds you with a matching smirk on his lips.

You let him undress you, watching his eyes dart to every newly exposed skin and grow darker with carnal lust to every drop of clothing article on the floor by his feet. When you’re finally stripped off of all your clothes and underwear, he gently pushes you back until you’re lying on the bed. With a light tap on your thighs, your legs part to make room for him.

He removes his boxers and kneels on the bed, one hand already stroking his hard member. He leans down and kisses you, “I’m going to show you how much I missed you.”

“Don’t hold back.” You challenged and he playfully scoffs at you.

“When have I ever held back?”

Before you could answer, a digit dips into your core. A shaky sigh escapes you as Jaehyun languidly moves his finger around.

“Show me how much you missed me first.” He quietly says, “Use my hand.”

Whimpering, you covered his hand with your own, grinding your clit into his palm. Your fingers tapped onto his middle finger and he got the message, inserting it along with his pointer finger. He dragged them against your inner walls that caused you to softly moan.

You lifted your hips, hoping to get some more leverage but Jaehyun flexes his middle finger and it brushes against your g-spot. You gasp, dropping your weight back down to the bed. From there, Jaehyun takes over.

With no warning, he pumps his fingers into you, curling them inside before pulling out. It felt amazing and your body was already starting to convulse. He continued his actions, going harder and faster, ignoring the signs of your oncoming orgasm.

You cry out, grabbing onto his wrist with both hands as your body violently shook.

Not wasting any time, Jaehyun takes whatever essence of your climax his fingers collected and smears it over his cock, giving it a few more pumps before he slides it in you.

Your moan may or may not have been too loud for the neighbors to hear, but you had no control over it. Despite being sensitive and still high from your orgasm, you try to spread your thighs further for him. One of your legs pinned his on the bed while you wrapped the other around his hips.

Jaehyun mumbles something about you being tight and how it feels amazing just before he begins to thrust, slow and deep. He leans over and kisses your neck, alternating between sucking and licking every patch of skin he can get his mouth on.

“I’m going to mark you so other guys wouldn’t think twice about hitting on you, okay?” He thrusts a little too hard, as if to punctuate his question, and you groan in response.

“Yes, yes,” You gasp, your hands finding purchase on his shoulders. “I’m yours.”

He makes almost an animalistic growl, hips moving more erratically with your words. “Say that again.”

“I’m yours.” You chant, almost like a prayer.

With every repetition of your invocation, Jaehyun snaps his hips into you, gaining more speed and power. It had you curling your toes and teetering over a cliff, ready to jump head first into ecstasy only he can deliver.

Your body thrashed against him as he gave you your second mind-blowing orgasm for the night. He helps you ride it out, keeping your hips still as he shallowly pushed into you. Unintentionally, you clenched around him and he moans at the sensation.

“Shit, that feels so good, baby.” He rasps, throwing his head back.

“Won’t you come?” You asked, pouting up at him as you catch your breath.

Slowing down his thrusts, he looks down at you. He studies how you were still shivering from your high, how his kisses on your necks have bloomed into a bouquet of purple flowers, how your breasts rose with every haggard breath. He takes one into his hand, softly palming it. “I’m getting there.”

“Is there anything you want me to do?” You watch his eyebrows scrunch up and his lips curl into a wicked grin.

He pulls out of you all of a sudden and crawls until his knees are on either side of your chest. “Open up.”

You part your lips and stick your tongue out a little.

Jaehyun groans at the lewd sight of you; taking his cock into his hand and pumping as fast as he can. He places the tip on your tongue when beads of pre-cum ooze out.

You lick it up immediately, coaxing him to ejaculate by running your tongue on the underside of his cock’s head.

A string of curses fall from Jaehyun’s lips as he finally found the final push he needed to come. White, hot liquid shoots into your mouth and amidst of you swallowing it, the remaining cum splashes onto your cupid’s bow, cheek, and chin. He cries out in anguish when you push yourself up to suck him dry with hollowed cheeks. As you fall back to bed, one last spurt escapes him and hits your brow.

Seeing it dribble down your eyelid, Jaehyun uses his thumb to swipe it off. Before he can clean his finger, you grab hold of his wrist and guide it to your mouth, collecting the salty substance with your tongue.

“Jesus christ, (Y/N).” Jaehyun exhales, feeling his cock twitch at the salacious scene.

“I just missed how you tasted.” You giggled, kissing his thumb. “Still delicious.”

He combs your sweat-slicked hair and chuckles, his ears turning red at the compliment, “Well, I’m sure you taste sweeter.”

You jut out your lower lip at him, “How would you know? You haven’t tasted me in months.”

“Oh?” His eyes glaze over once again, “Is that a challenge?”

“Baby,” You coo, “It’s an invitation.”

If his dimpled smile made you melt, a dimpled smirk made you melt in other places–places he was about to visit.

“Don’t mind if I do, then.” He trails a kiss from between your breasts down to your navel.

Your jaw drops when he arrives right at your core and does his magic.

You dip your head back down further on the bed, moaning at every flick of his tongue. You turn your head to the side and your eyes fall on the baseball bat from earlier. You had a clearer view of it this time.

You had a clearer view of the other end stained with dark red splatters.

Your blood ran cold and you froze up.

Jaehyun, realizing immediately that you had stopped responding to his actions, pulls away and looks at you. His gaze follows yours and once he spots what had grabbed your attention, he hovers above you and places a hand on either side of your head. “Look at me.” He commands.

“You couldn’t have…” You murmur, meeting his darkened eyes.

“He touched you.” He simply states, devoid of any emotion.

“Jaehyun!” You reprimand, but he cuts you off.

“He disrespected you, (Y/N). I wasn’t going to let that pass by!”

“How did you even know I was the bar? Were you following me?”

“I wanted to make sure you were safe!”

You push him off, scooting off the bed and picking out your clothes from the floor. This wasn’t something you wanted to discuss in the nude. “Well, I was! Yebin and Minkyung were there with me. We left before he could do anything else. You didn’t have to beat him up with a bat! Jesus christ! Jae! You’re wanted by campus police.”

“He got what he deserved, (Y/N).” He coolly shrugs his shoulders, grabbing his boxers and slipping them on while watching you dress.

“And what about those guys from the pool?” You suddenly remembered running into them the other day.

“I only meant to go after the one who couldn’t keep his eyes off you.” Jaehyun admits, “But his friends came looking for him, so I had to deal with them as well.”

“You took them by your–” You shut your eyes in frustration and disbelief. It felt like you didn’t even know the man in front of you. Shaking your head with a scoff, you avoid his piercing glare.

Another thought pops into your head, a scarier one that gave you goosebumps.

You look to the table and stare at the black face mask, “…w-were you the guy last night?”

“Yes. I was outside your window, too, when you masturbated.”

You gaped at him with horrified astonishment. “Why?” It took every fiber of your body not to start shaking from fear and disgust. “You scared me shitless!”

“That was the point.”

Your jaw drops, unable to formulate a proper response, nevertheless, Jaehyun continues.

“I had to scare you back to me.”

“What?!”

“I was losing you.” His voice finally breaks from the monotony and raises an octave higher. “You asked for an extension when I was at my limit. I missed you!”

“I was mad! You punched my best friend, Jaehyun! I had the right to be! And it didn’t mean you were losing me. I just needed time to cool down!” You pinch the bridge of your nose. Never, in the four years, you and Jaehyun have spent together did you argue like this. This was a completely different side to your boyfriend and all these revelations were giving you a headache. You needed time to process them. “I can’t do this.”

You make a move to leave but Jaehyun blocks your path.

“Can’t do what?” His voice had dropped and his eyes were practically black as the night. Taken aback from his demeanor, you were unable to respond to him, making him ask again in a raised voice. “Can’t do what, (Y/N)?!”

“Let me go, Jae. I need to go.”

“Go where? Who are you running of to, huh? Doyoung? Taeyong?”

“Why are you dragging Taeyong into this?”

Jaehyun scowls, “I saw you giving his picture a heart eyes react.”

“Oh my god!” You shout, “Do you hear yourself right now? So I liked his new photo because I thought his new hairstyle looked good. He’s our friend, remember? Jaehyun, please, let me leave.”

“And what? Extend our break even more? I don’t think so.” He reaches for your hand, but you move away. “(Y/N).”

“You’re honestly scaring me right now.” You back away until you feel the wall behind you. “Why are you acting like this?”

“Because I love you, (Y/N),” He steps forward, “Everything I do is for you. I have to protect you. If you could only see how other guys look at you, how they would undress you with their eyes–I, I can’t let them disrespect you like that. They need to know that you’re mine and I’m yours.”

“And if you really, really do love me, Jae,” Your eyes tear up, “You would let me leave.”

“No. W-why?” His eyebrows scrunched up in frustration “Do you want to break up?”

You swallow hard, “I’m really scared right now, Jaehyun. Just please give me time to think–”

“Answer me!” He yells, making you flinch in your spot. He traps you against the wall, “Are you thinking about breaking up with me?”

“I don’t feel safe with you right now.” You breathed. Your words were barely audible but they rang like sirens in Jaehyun’s ears.

He steps away from you, the emotions on his face have changed from hostile to defeated. His eyes are wet as they searched around the room for something, and they fell on the full length mirror attached to the bathroom door. Huffing, he takes two large steps towards it and swings as hard as he can.

You shrieked as his fist connected to the mirror, creating a large, cracked web onto it. You had expected him to stop, or at most react to the the pain of the blow, but he repeatedly punched the mirror, smashing chunks of the glass and sending them crashing to the floor.

“Jae, stop!” You yell, but it was as if he couldn’t hear you.

You found yourself grabbing his arms at the first sight of crimson staining the mirror. “Jaehyun!”

“Go away! I don’t want to hurt you,” He spares you a tormented glance. His cheeks were damp from tears already. “I can’t hurt you, so let me–”

He attempts to throw another punch, but you hold him back. Then both of you struggled with one another, until he nudges you away and faces you. “You hate me!” He cries.

You shake your head in denial, but he repeats himself.

“You hate me.”

“I never said that.” You squeaked, staring into his eyes.

“You wanted to break up.” Jaehyun grabs a fistful of his hair as he shuts his eyes.

“I never said that, either.” You quietly admonished, shakily reaching up to wipe his tears.

He had flinched away from your touch at first, snapping his eyes wide open like an injured beast being cornered, but the way you looked at him made him drop his defenses.

“I’m sorry.” He chokes out, sobbing like a little boy and your heart wrenches at the sight. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He repeats over and over until you pull him down, letting his head rest on the crook of your neck. “I can’t lose you, (Y/N). I can’t. I just wanted to protect you.”

“You’re not gonna lose me and you won’t.” You run one of your hands down his back while the other combed through his hair.

He pulls away, tears still flowing down his cheeks, “You’re not leaving me?”

You take in his expression; a mix of pain, anguish, confusion, guilt, and above all that, you see the expression that made you choose him and stay by his side: love.

“I mean, I have to go home sooner or later.” You cock your head, offering him an unsure smile in an endeavour to bring up his mood, and it sort of did. The briefest flash of his dimple with the curl of the corners of his lips told you that you had at least succeeded in making him laugh. “But I can spend the night if you want to.”

“I want you to.” He mumbles and you smile up at him.

“Then I’ll stay the night.” You pull him down until his forehead was touching yours. Playing with the short hairs on his nape, you whisper onto his lips, “I love you.”

A smile finally breaks out onto his face, lighting it up from the solemn mood “I love you, too.”

“Let’s get your hand cleaned up and wrapped, okay?” You kiss his cheek and lead him out the room, careful not to step on any glass shards.

The clock in the living room struck 12 and exhaustion seeped into your system. You were beginning to accept that there was something terribly wrong with your boyfriend’s psychological health. You should have ran away when you had the chance; you should have left when he, himself, told you to. But you remembered his eyes when he spared you a glance. Something in them switched like an on and off button when they were on you in comparison to when he had been punching the wall.

You look over your shoulder and up at Jaehyun, who sniffed as he inspected his bleeding knuckles.

Your friends have always told you how much he doted you.

Up until tonight, you had no idea just how devoted Jaehyun was to you.

devoted 2 part 1

devotee (jaehyun’s pov)

[ask-svt-hearteu]

1 year asks!!!🎉🎉🎉

✨Our 1 year anniversary ask game!✨

Admins: Hi everyone! We’re happy to celebrate our 1(+) year on tumblr!!! Our 1st post was 6/10/17 but that day is also Jun’s birthday so we decided to spend the day celebrating him instead! But with all the admins back we thought we’d celebrate our 1 year together answering any questions all of you lovelies may have! We’d like to thank the 3000+ people who have followed and supported us and made our experience on this site amazing for more than a year✨Seventeen and we admins love you all and let’s walk together on the flowery path from now on! Here’s our little ask game that we made, if you don’t want to see admin answered asks, we’ll tag them with “one year anniversary asks” so you can ignore those :). There are multiple sections so feel free to ask multiple questions if you want :3 (Also Svt will still be answering your regular asks so don’t worry they’ll be responded to soon!)

Send a Seventeen inside joke and ask the admins about themselves!

💎hello john : Where are you all from?

💎kimbap kidding : Favorite food?

💎when guys shower...//gestures// : ______, ______, & ______ FMK? (Fuck Marry Kiss, pick three members of Svt)

💎limited beverage isseoyo? : Favorite drink?

💎f-a-s-h-T-i-o-n : Favorite looks on the boys?

💎human of lesser evolution : Are you on Dab Squad or Anti-Dab Squad?

💎drink water not alcohol : This or That? (Make us pick between two things- ex. water or alcohol)

💎respect what we dislike : What’s a pet peeve you have?

💎egg tart : Do you wanna be friends/mutuals?

💎chicken will heal our hearts : What does love mean to you?

💎power ranger : Favorite superhero?

💎my fav part of seungkwan is... : Favorite svt ship? (Friendship or otherwise haha)

💎mingyu sunbaenim : Do you stan any other groups?

💎“what if i die” “then you die!” : What do you want to do before you die?

💎IMMA : What’s one thing you’d say to your bias if you had the chance?

💎“butt slap” : One thing your bias has done that makes you KFDKNSJGIANQJDDKAO (crazy haha)?

💎say the name! Seventeen! : How’d you get into Seventeen?

💎Yo Burger King, I’m the Rap King : Favorite rapper outside the hip hop team?

💎twoteen : How’s your bias list?

💎IJIE WAAKE UP WAKE UP : What’s your sleeping schedule?

💎my life is hamburger : Are you a picky eater?

💎kidney function : use one meme to describe yourself!

💎DANGER! YOU SO DANGER : What’s one fear you possess?

💎oH mY goSH duDe : One thing you’ve done that you regret?

💎AKITA SOUND : One place you’d like to visit?

💎hamzzi : Are you a cat or a dog person?

💎what a... BEAUTIFUL DAY! : Describe yourself using aesthetic stuff.

💎“JEON WONWOO! JOSHUA! i want to be funny like you guys!!” “the two least funniest people though” : One thing that always makes you smile?

💎dino NUGU AEGI : Which svt member would you want as a sibling and older or younger sibling?

💎“i would have lived a very boring life without you guys” “that’s right!” : What is one thing you wish you could do?

💎the choreography was made well... : Is your level of confidence where you want it?

💎you clearly already know where you’re going to be : What’s your Hogwarts house?

💎cool cutie the8 : Describe yourself in 3 words.

💎”hey maknae-yah!” “hey... middle” : How old are you?

💎bag of luck : Do you believe in fate / destiny?

💎WHO DO YOU THINK I LEARNED IT FROM : Who’s one person you look up to/ really admire?

💎”how are you today?” “yesterday’s weather...” : What’s your favorite kind of weather?

💎OH NO JASMINE : One svt member you’d want on your side during the apocalypse?

💎i wAnNa bE yOUr mORnIng BAbY : Favorite vocalist outside the vocal team?

💎coupsttu : Favorite ice cream flavor?

💎This is ‘Ask Joshua’ not ‘Ask Dokyeom’ : Are you an Introvert or extrovert?

💎GO PRIME : What kind of phone do you have?

💎It’s not imfact it’s IMPACT : Which accent do you find most attractive?

💎piggybank : What would you do if you had a million dollars?

💎Seungkwan can you twerk? : Favorite dancer outside the performance team?

💎SVT Energy Skin Care : What’s your skincare/ makeup routine?

💎nyeac nyeac nyeac : A show you’re currently watching?

💎oppa car : Which svt member/s would you wanna go on a road trip with?

💎YOU UGLY THINGS : Svt’s visual rankings according to you?

💎“mingyu makes my ovar-“ “nooooooo” : How’s life?

Talk to the admins about yourself!

💎daebaknaseyo : Ask us (the admins) advice about anything!

💎would you date me??? : Describe yourself (the person asking!) and we (the admins) will ship you with a member of svt!

💎i’m seventeen my fans are my girlfriends : Tell us some stuff you (the asker) love / are soft for about your bias! (Or ask us what’s some stuff we love about our bias♡)

💎sO bEaUtiFuL : Tell us why you followed us!

About ask svt!!! Curious about how the admins answer asks on the blog? Send a number:

55.) How do you decide which admin answers what asks?

56.) Which member do you like answering asks for the most?

57.) Do you remember any particular asks that you absolutely loved answering?

58.) How do you decide which member answers an ask when no member is specified?

59.) What is your process for answering asks?

60.) How do you pick gifs for asks?

61.) What are some asks you wish people would send in?

62.) Which asks are the hardest to answer?

63.) (Ask us any question you may have about running an ask blog!)

Ask one of our characters from our stories a question!

For example: “To Jun from hogwarts! Jun- What’s your favorite date you’ve had with Y/n?”

Or

“To Soonyoung from soulmate! Hoshi- How did it feel when you finally met your soulmate?”

Or

“To Jeonghan from soulmate! Dino- how does it feel knowing your aegi is dating someone now?”

Ask the admins about our aus, scenarios, and future stories!

65.) What’s one of your favorite scenarios that you’ve written?

66.) What’s one of your favorite scenarios that you DIDN’T write?

67.) Are you more an angst or fluff person?

68.) What kind of aus/imagines are your favorite?

69.) What inspired _________(you name the au or scenario)?

70.) Who’s your favorite member to write for?

71.) What’s one of the hardest things you’ve ever had to write for the blog?

72.) What’s your process for writing a scenario?

73.) What’s one scenario you wish you could write?

74.) How often do you read other scenarios?

75.) Give one line of a scenario you’re writing right now?

76.) If you could live in the world of one of your scenarios, which one would it be?

77.) If one of your scenarios could be made into a short film, which one would it be?

78.) If you could go back and rewrite an au/scenario which one would it be?

79.) (Tell us the admins what your favorite au/ imagine/ scenario is!)

80.) What’s your go-to seventeen song to listen to when writing?

81.) Do you prefer mobile or laptop for writing scenarios?

82.) How do you choose the personality of y/n?

83.) Favorite line of a scenario you’ve written?

84.) Favorite line of a scenario you didn’t write?

85.) Do you the read tags when someone reblogs?

86.) Are any of the scenes in a scenario based on a real life event?

87.) Which part is hardest to write, the beginning, the middle, or the end?

88.) Would you ever write for another group?

89.) What’s your process for writing reactions?

90.) Have you ever dreamt about a scenario?

91.) has an idea for a scenario ever come from a dream?

92.) (Ask us any question you have about writing scenarios!)

Story time!!! Send a number and we the admins will tell you a story!

93.)

Tell us how you all met each other

94.) Tell us an embarrassing story!

95.) Tell us how your bias picked you

96.) Tell us about one of the happiest moments of your life!

97.) Tell us a saying / advice that you’ll never forget

98.) Tell us what are your plans for the blog in the future!

99.) Tell us about your plans for life in the future

100.) (Tell us the admins a story!!!)

Thank you again everyone for a wonderful year!!! We’ll reblog this a few times to see if anyone wants to ask but that will be all... We love you all lots!!!!💕💕💕