#the one i might actually write is the lady eve

[msharmonycobel]

every Barbara Stanwyck film I watch is just another Bertha Russell AU added to the list

[thedvilsinthedetails]

rosekiller microfic band au pt3

heyyy pt3 is here yayyy

I haven’t rlly read it thru again and I’m feeling pretty tired today so if there’s a quality dip that’s why but also we have some nice Barty POV which I find easier to write sooo balances out ig

also we have some Marlene in this one (u can thank @good-oldfashioned-lover-girl because I wasn’t gonna put her in but she loves Marls [not that I don’t] to and yk she’s the boss so 🫡🫡🫡 Marlene is in the fic and I’m actually glad bc I love her part in this)

oh also Reg is autistic in this [in my mind] so when I mention him wearing headphones it’s bc he wears headphones on public transport/often in public/during gigs to help block noise <3

oh also all the skittles have matching nail polish and little tattoos on their wrists (idk if I actually mention it here but just so u have it in ur mind)

Tags for ppl that (I think?) wanted to be tagged <3 : @depressedtheatrekiddo @blu3stars @picklerab23 @lady-stardust-incarnate @always-reading @no-names-work @y0url0verb0y @2bluetwo85 @idk-what-to-put-here-123 @weirdtinkerbellversion @lulublack90 @nikholascrow (please please do tell me if you don’t want to be tagged bc idm and obviously won’t be upset but I just don’t want to tag ppl that don’t actually want to be tagged so I’m just sort of guessing by who commented last time so um yeah)

Link to previous part

link to part one

link to next part

(Cw: lil bit of homophobia in here sorry)

***

By the time the train arrived at their station both Barty and Evan had dozed off. Arms wrapping around each other, bodies curled into one another like a jigsaw puzzle. Evan didn’t wake up as gently as he fell asleep though because he was woken by Regulus kicking his seat aggressively. Once he finally opened his eyes he turned to face him. He was wearing his headphones, big and black originally but covered in splodges of spray paint from when Barty had offered to ‘customise‘ them for Regulus. He’d pushed them back though, now that the majority of people has filtered out of the little compartment.

“Hurry up and get your stuff.”

Regulus ordered before following Pandora and Dorcas who had already left.

Evan turned and tapped Barty gently to wake him up. Then when that didn’t work he shook him till he opened his eyes with a start. 

It took Barty a moment to realise where he was but even once he did he just grumbled.

“Ev don’t make me get up, please.”

He pouted, eyes wide and dilated in some kind of cheap attempt at cuteness.

“Come on you know you have to get up baby- Barty!”

Evan gaped, realising his mistake just too late. A slip of the tongue and he’d gone and fucked everything up.

“D’you just call me baby?”

A grin spread on Barty’s face and he poked Evan gently and laughed.

“You’ve been single too long Rosier.”

“You- you’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad, baby?”

Barty winked, clicking his tongue as he got up and shuffled past Evan with a wicked smirk.

•••

Barty was going insane. 

Evan had called him baby. Baby. And fuck his reaction had been visceral. But like…in a good way? It made him want to bite down on something hard but that thing was the muscles on Evan’s arms. Or bruise something but that thing was Evan’s neck…with a hickey or two. 

Something about the way it had slipped out so naturally, so warmly. It just made Barty’s heart flutter. Made him want to grab Evan and shake the sense out of him enough to like Barty. Something along the lines of ‘kiss me, ruin me, dear God I’m begging you.’ Ah well, nothing you can’t really do about these kinds of situations except get on with it. Lying was something Barty had gotten very good at from a young age and not stopped since. Some might call it acting but those were the types of people who were just trying to convince themselves they were good and moral. Barty didn’t really care enough about that kind of stuff to bother. White lies this and how it contrasts with malicious lies that, like someone trying to section off a gradient in two. You can’t, it’s all the same monochrome blur in the end. 

Barty was lost in this little daydream when he heard Pandora roar.

“WHAT?!”

Now Pandora didn’t often roar, maybe laugh maniacally every now and then yes, but yell? Scream? That was never her type of thing. Save for some rare occasions that Barty could probably count on one hand. Pandora yelling meant it was time to stop daydreaming about Evan’s curls or Evan’s hands with their chipped green nail polish or Evan’s fucking tight t shirts. Yeah time to stop thinking about that and listen up. So he did.

“I do not intend to offend anyone by it.”

Riddle raised his hands up defensively with a cheap sleazy smile that immediately made Barty dislike him.

“I’m just saying that this venue prides itself on a distinct lack of…untoward behaviour. It’s not a massive deal, I think your lead and backup singers can use separate microphones for two nights of a six month tour. 

“What the fuck man?”

Barty stepped forward immediately hands curling into fists, Riddle was pretty short, he could definitely take him if that’s what it came to.

“Barty stop, that isn’t the right way to solve things. Come on let’s just- let’s come back later ok? See if we can talk to someone else, not this piece of shit.”

Dorcas spat out the last three words as she pulled Barty back to the group.

He was going to argue till he felt Evan put a hand on his shoulder, instead he just left Evan guide him away after the rest of the group.

“We’ll figure it out ok?”

“Fucking- Ev we can’t play there. They’re fucking homophobic.”

“Barty the O2 has been your dream since-“

“I DONT BLOODY CARE!”

“Barty shut the fuck up. I said we’ll talk about it and we will, we will figure it out but stop acting like a goddamn CHILD.”

Barty looked over at Evan who had his teeth bared, slightly wild look in his eyes. He was seething too, clearly. Just more mature than Barty.

“Ok, yeah.”

He breathed in.

“I’m sorry Ev.”

“Hey it’s alright. It’s just important the band shows a united front against this you know? We can’t split up or in fight because then, well then we all lose.”

“Yeah. Yeah you’re right Rosie. But we will do something.”

“I promise you they’re not getting away with this.”

Evan nodded. He tossed a hand over Barty’s shoulder, pulling him in just a little bit closer as they walked. Barty wasn’t complaining. 

•••

“You don’t get it Marls, we can’t just not play the O2. We’d lose way too much money off it, probably too much to be able to continue with the rest of the tour. Plus venues will think we’re unreliable and might cancel or pull out. Riddle is such a fucking dick, he only told us when we went there for a tech practice literally today.”

“Fuck yeah that’s shitty.”

Marlene was sat next to Barty on the floor of his hotel room, helping him repaint his nails. The entire band had them matching, a bright toxic green, his had started to fade though. 

“What if you just…ignore them? Do it anyway?”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s not like they can drag us off stage mid performance.”

“Not without exposing their homophobia.”

“Still…I wanna make a statement. Something big you know? Show them they can’t straight wash us.”

Marlene looked up at Barty, eyes twinkling mischievously.

“I might have an idea then.”

•••

Evan was sat in an alcove in the hotel corridor watching Regulus patiently braid and unbraid Pandora’s hair on the sofa opposite him. It calmed them both down whenever they were stressed. And Barty and Marlene, locked up together in Barty’s hotel room. Both raging homosexuals dead set on never following rules talking amongst themselves just before the biggest gig of the band’s history? Yeah that was a reason to be stressed. That’s when he heard the tell tale clump of Barty’s docs down the corridor. And he was walking with purpose.

As soon as he came into view Evan noticed the way his eyebrows were knotted together yet his eyes were glimmering with excitement. Evan had no clue what Barty was going to say next but it wasn’t that.

“Marlene thinks I should kiss you.”

Barty announced and Evan dropped his jaw, staring at him agape.

“What?”

“And I agree with her.”

“What?”

***

OK HOPE U LIKED IT

xxx BYEEEE

pt4 probs gonna come soon bc I swear this fic has a life of its own

[ian-the-existential-crisis]

What if I wanted to do a small 2-shot story about 16th century Adamsapple falling in love and having to deal with the fact they could never be together but it was all done in letter format?

Haha jk jk unless

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

To my dearest Adam, 

I hope this letter finds you in good health, sire. I'm writing to you on the eve of your wedding. And yes, I'm laughing here in my candle lit office at my own joke of using your soon to be wife's name as a designation of time. Worry not, my friend, for I can feel you rolling your eyes at me as if I've done something particularly stupid again. 

I think a congratulations are in order! How lovely it is that you might be able to be the groom to such an amazing wife. I imagine at this time Lilith is out, gallivanting with your lovely fiancé, as our fair ladies do, talking and chattering about how I must now propose to Lilith in a formal and proper manner. 

I trust that this letter stays between the two of us alone, as most things do. But I'm weary of taking her hand in marriage. Though she's the only one I've met besides you and Eve who truly understands why I have my doubts. But can a meeting of the minds truly be enough for us to join hands in marriage?

I suppose after tomorrow, well the tomorrow from when I write this, it won't matter much. You know, I don't want to ruin your wonderful day, I am glad you've invited me, though I can't bring myself to endure the pain of actually going. I know Lilith will be going. She is a stronger person than I shall ever hope to be. Perhaps I'll make some excuse, a stomach illness, so I don't have to go. 

[andypantsx3]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

Thank you to @itoshisoup @saetyrn9 and @seravphs for the tags!! I am late and so I apologize if I’ve missed any other tags while I was out!!

I want to say I think this is such a cute idea. I am very proud of how hard I’ve worked on my fics, and I am grateful for the chance to give my Andie director's cut lmfao even if I kind of wanted to curl up like a pill bug writing this.

Um, I think in no particular order, these are my top 5 recs of the moment:

Deceiving the Duke | Shouto x Reader

When Camie Utsushimi elopes on the eve of her society debut, scandal threatens to destroy the family’s prospects. It’s up to you, a lady’s maid, to impersonate Camie throughout the Season, long enough that her elder sister can make a match. The only trouble? Lord Shouto Todoroki is also intent on making a match—and that match, quite impossibly, appears to involve you.

I am a huge fan of regency romances and I have incredible respect for them as massive drivers of the romance genre as a whole. So it sort of shocked me when I was talking to Mermie and Cat and we realized we hadn't seen any x Reader regency fics (although I am certain they are out there)!! As much as I love a good pro hero AU (my bread and butter), I really appreciated the chance to try my hand at something that's a little lesser explored in this niche. It's kind of messy in retrospect but I had so much fun working on it that I'll let past Andie off the hook for that.

2. ab intra | Shinsou x Reader

When a wave of disturbing crimes sweep the city, underground hero Hitoshi Shinsou is assigned to work the case with you. What’s even more frustrating than his obnoxious personality is the fact no one will tell you why he’s involved. Things only get more suspicious from there.

This fic was the first time I really sat down and tried my hand at a case fic. I was reading a bunch of Japanese police thrillers at the time, and although my attempt does not measure up, it gave me the tools to understand how to better execute on case fics in the future. Again I really liked trying my hand at something I'm not necessarily good at, because it was fun and I learned a lot. This is probably my most distinct out of all my fics in terms of tone and subject material!!

3. unconventional | Midoriya x Reader

HeroExpo is incredible, and that’s not even counting the really cute hero fanboy you just met. Well, you think he might be cute under that Deku cosplay. It’s hard to tell because it’s really, really good. Like, too good.

I was so nervous to try my hand at Izuku that I actually thought about not publishing this one several times. But this ended up being one of my all-time favorites to write and I get really nostalgic for the time of my life I was in while I was working on this. The fic was so light and fun and such a comfort to write, and to this day I am very touched by how kind people are about Izuku's characterization. It makes me feel really good. 🥺

4. vested interest | Shouto x Reader

You’d just thought Shouto was absent minded, accidentally leaving behind a jacket or a sweater or his vest. You didn’t realize this was a thing. (In which Todoroki Shouto—despite his quirk—has zero chill, and uses his clothes to ward off other men.)

I am probably best known for my Shouto fic if i could keep cool, but vested interest is actually my favorite child!! In retrospect this one is messy too but I had the absolute time of my peddling my little shit Shouto agenda. This fic actually forms the backbone of how I characterize Shouto currently, with just a touch more of spoiled youngest child energy than I had been doing previously. :) Viva la jealous Sho.

5. incendiary | Bakugou x Reader

When you accidentally go viral in defense of quirkless people, an extremist group puts a target on your back. Pro hero Dynamight is the last person you want watching it.

This is the fic I have worked the hardest on and I am very proud of it (and excited to publish the next chapter when I get back)!! This is my only attempt to tackle an issue of real substance and I am very grateful for the perspective I have been given by my sensitivity readers @cat-slippered and @darkenedniqhts.

I also feel really protective over this one as it got plagiarized and slightly rewritten into something that exploded in popularity and massively outstripped this fic. Though handling that situation was uncomfortable, and this feels like a strange thing to say, it was a good ego check for me. It reminded me that I still have a lot of growing to do as a writer if I want my ideas to be unique and memorable enough that a situation like this won't arise again. I will work hard.

My no pressure tags (and sorry if you've already been tagged!!) @restwellsoon @bobawithpomegranate @darkenedniqhts @cat-slippered @ofmermaidstories @willowser @lorelune @petrichorium @heich0e @sipsteainanxiety @shibaraki @kedsandtubesocks @potionpeddlerpatchy @meggsngrits @coopigeoncoo @crowned-peony @stellamancer @namodawrites @streimiv @ghost-flakes @ghostbeam @kimkaelyn also @procrastination-artist @bluebird-in-the-breeze @acerathia bc I love ur stuff even if I know u have a smaller fic count.

[dearunreliablenarrator]

Writeblr Interview Tag

thank you, thank you to @sableglass for the tag, you can catch their original post here!

Short stories, novels, or poems?

Novels! Sometimes, I think the ideas i have are too large to stay as short stories or that i couldn't capture what's needed for poems.

What genre do you prefer reading?

I've found myself dabbling a bit more into psycho thrillers now a days, otherwise the toes are buried in sci-fi, romance and the occasional philosophy book.

Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person?

Girls/Guys/Theys', I couldn't plan a thing and stick to it if my life depended on it. I try to do both, just for consistency sake, but I often go off line anyways, but the most important scenes are always written first.

It does make editing a bitch though.

What music do you listen to while writing?

I honestly write in silence (scary i know). Otherwise, Kitchen Nightmares or Hell's Kitchen reruns are on in the back. And unless, I've already curated a playlist for what's being written, there's nothing in these ears but air.

I guess the easy answer is it depends!

Favorite books/movies?

The Menu (2022)/Bottoms (2023)/EEAAO (2022)

Song of Achilles/ A Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires/ Act Your Age, Eve Brown.

Any current WIPs?

Cherries Under the Sun! A new branch of writing for me, I always kinda felt like I had to stick to romance and burnt myself out. So here, we have a exploration of relationships with God and life (in both destructive and favorable manners) and the horrors of which one would go to achieve what they believe to be a righteous way of living.

I don't know...religion makes people do some weird shit in the name of their god and that something I want to explore. Did I mention there are vampires?!

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you what would your standard outfit be?

wide legged pants or leggings, oversized t-shirt and pair of crocs. although, a lot of the time; i'm winnie the poohin' it.

Create a character description of yourself: 

a fluorescent beige girl with copper sister locs, tortie glasses and a slew of patchwork tattoos with facial piercings. of average height, and my clothes probably have a layer of cat hair on them. i'm probably lifting weights or somethings.

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

Lol yes, but half of the time its not even on purpose. kid you not, in the first chapter of Where the River Bends, i've actually had a man say that to me; and that was after I wrote it. (might be a soothsayer yall) Quite the experience!

Are you kill happy with your characters?

I have yet to kill anyone, but its in the plans. ugh, its gonna be an old lady. i'm sorry in advance; but yall might not even like her so *shrugs*

Coffee or Tea while writing?

don't shoot me! but i think dr.pepper is the ultimate answer. someone should make a dr.pepper tea. 

it might be too country of me to ask for it to be cold with lots of crushed ice.

Slow or fast writer?

I'd say i have my spurts of fast writing, but i think the slower i write; the more I get out.

Where/who/what do you draw inspiration from?

Real life, i think is the most agreeable answer at the moment. I like people watching or taking my own life experience and stories I've heard over the years and not replicating them but retelling them from my lense on life; which is very...dramatic and mystical to say the least.

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

Oh, theres so many options for this...but a cook/pub/tavern owner would be the first thing. I love feeding people and making sure they have a place to get warm food, and it'd be pretty cheap too! Or, house staff to some hoity-toity family, maybe get their son or daughter to fall in love with me so I can get some inheritance...but daddy, i love them kind moment

Most fav book cliche:

nerdy girl gets the jock

Least favorite cliche:

misunderstandings/miscommunication; oh god shoot me now! or the "she's hotter without her glasses" move (9x/10 the glasses are what makes them hot!)

Favorite scene to write?

Lore dumping scenes! They may be long and a little tedious to get through but they give so much insight into the smaller behaviors that characters have.

why does character A pick their nose comfortably in public? cause once upon a time; their grammy said it was okay and it's better than having it hang in there all day with people noticing!

I think my favorite so far though, is Warren and Sabryna's talk after a disastrous dinner. It was something in that moment, that they both really needed. Tough conversations equals great rewards in this case.

Reason for writing?

Cause I can! I mean; I'd really come to hate myself if i didn't let these ideas meet the paper or the keyboard in this matter. I think its very freeing to create something of your own, just getting past what others may think is the hard part.

and yall i cant draw for shit besides doodles so i guess writing is it for me.

no pressure tags below! sorry if you were double tagged! @rumeysawrites @inadequatecowboy @lady-grace-pens @tito-sober @shepardsherd @dyrewrites @goldfinchwrites @caninecomplex

[laiqualaurelote]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

1. World Enough And Time (MFMM/Doctor Who, Phrack, 51k)

This will always be my favourite of my fics. It's the Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries/Doctor Who crossover where Phryne is a Time Lady, Dot is from the past, Mac is from the future and Jack is just trying to work out what is happening. It's an AU that contains eight other AUs (including a Regency AU, a Mad Max Fury Road AU and a fake-marriage-with-aliens AU) and it represented an enormous milestone for me in my writing.

2. all the men and women merely players (Ted Lasso, Ted/Trent, Roy/Keeley/Jamie, 50k)

The Ted Lasso Station Eleven post-apocalyptic AU in which, in the wake of a devastating global pandemic, American comedy actor Ted Lasso leads a Shakespearean theatre troupe across the ruins of England. It combines my love of Ted Lasso, Station Eleven, Shakespeare and theatre, and it's probably the fic I've worked hardest on.

3. I Live And Lie For You (Good Omens/James Bond, Bond/Q, Aziraphale/Crowley, Adam/Eve, 13k)

The fic in which Wensleydale grows up to be Q. Features avocados, cats named after mathematicians, car chases in the Bentley, questionable ice-cream flavours, far too many spies at St James' Park, the Antichrist in his fuckboi era and tardigrades. I don't even like James Bond but I loved writing this.

4. The Legend Continues (Rivers of London, Michael Cheung/Sahra Guleed, 8.5k)

A closer, canon-compliant look at how a hijabi cop might have inadvertently apprenticed herself to the legendary swordsman of London's Chinatown and then started dating him. I always wanted to write an wuxia in English! Features my holy trinity of subtle Asian traits: bubble tea, passive-aggressive aunties and an original character clearly based on Michelle Yeoh. Fun fact: this fic was named after an actual Chinatown restaurant called Leong's Legend Continues, a spinoff of Leong's Legend (ironically Leong's Legend is still around but the Legend Continues has since, well, failed to continue).

5. Best Revenge Is Your Paper (Daredevil/The Punisher, Frank Castle/Karen Page, 15.5k)

In which Karen Page gets a bunch of bylines, pisses off a lot of people, tries not to fall in love with her newsmaker and fails. Kastle was the ship that brought me back to fandom after a five-year hiatus, and Karen remains one of my favourite fictional reporters of all time (the others are Trent Crimm, of course, and Hildy Johnson from His Girl Friday). It's been another five years since this fic and oh, I've had such a time.

Thank you for this ask!

[eolewyn1010]

Downton Abbey Fashion 62 - service worker fashion in 1924

More servant outfits, but this is a more mixed bag: We have Mrs Hughes, Mrs Patmore, Daisy (why is no one calling her Mrs Mason, ever?), and the short little glimpse we get at the housemaids because the basic maids are only extras now; speaking roles are lady’s maids. Because that is the best Julian Fellowes could imagine a lower-class person to achieve in their life.

Not that Mrs Hughes working dresses are so much more thrilling than lady’s maid fashion. The first ensemble that stays for most of season 6 is just kind of there with a double stripe along the trims, and it’s honestly so unstructured and without any additions like collar and cuffs that it might as well be a dressing gown. The second dress is nicer, but I think it’s the dress she already had last season and she just swapped out the under layer – the little soutache elements framing the front split are the same, and so is the belt. Regardless, I do appreciate the change; the beige and brown are giving this outfit a little more life.

Could only get this one shot of the black coat, but it’s enough to tell that someone’s done a little box pleating to that collar. Also, is this coat and hat combo actually black or film black, as in, dark blue? I’m not sure, but then Mrs Hughes has no qualms pairing the hat with her grey pinstripe walking suit, so it may be colorless. The walking suit is nice, but it looks like it doesn’t fit her; according to smooth 1920s fashions, this wrinkling around her chest should not be there.

--------------

Not much new for Mrs Patmore because she’s one of those characters who never really reached the 1920s fashion-wise, so while I can recognize this as a new dress thanks to the fabric, it has the exact same shape as the last, same collar, same sleeve volume, pin tucks on the front. It’ll stay into season 6 because why ever not; Mrs Patmore doesn’t care for change.

Same with this blueish green blouse, which is curiously not a season holdover, but instead gets replaced in season 6 with an almost identical one. No wonder I never paid much attention to Mrs Patmore’s clothes. And it’s with the pin tucks again. Is there no novelty Downstairs?

--------------

Daisy’s new working outfit is pretty neat for such a grey dress. It fits her well, the double-breasted closure and the collar really serve some chef vibes, and I cannot believe that this is swapped out for something shabbier come season 6.

Something else that inexplicably disappears between seasons is Daisy’s everyday coat, a brownish tweed with a cute zigzag weave and waffle-structured cuffs. She even wears a little brooch to this because this season Daisy gets really into motion to kick up her life prospects a notch. Perhaps that’s why the coat has to go, because she wants something that fits her better than this for her belated school graduation. That peach dress with the fractal print that peeks out in the first picture is only seen in full in season 6.

Another peach shirt, another coat, this one very nice – they show up again, albeit quite late, in season 6. Daisy got them for rare occasions like visiting London and writing her exams. Which is a damn shame, because that tie closure of the shirt with the square buckle is quite chic. On the plus side, this strange hat does not reappear with them. What is that? An uber-cloche? Why is it so exaggeratedly bowl-y on top? And why does Daisy wear it for a visit to her father-in-law despite it not matching that yellow checkered dress with the lace additions? The only element of this hat that doesn’t irritate me is the comeback of the chignon cutout in the back.

--------------

And now to the nameless nanny and maids. Said nanny, despite being ostensibly higher up in the hierarchy, can only be differed from the maids in one regard: Her uniform doesn’t fit her. The dress is crinkly, the apron looks like it’s gonna fall off of her any moment. The maid uniforms are fine by comparison, even though they only have frilly bands on their head instead of caps. But the spread collars sit, the aprons literally look like drawn on with a ruler. I don’t know why they’re wearing black dresses, which I’ve only known as evening uniforms so far, in daylight, because when the Crawleys visit another castle for a family get-together, who do we see around there? A maid in a grey uniform, which are still very much in use! A crinkly grey uniform, no less. Someone get a flat iron onto this set.

[kmomof4]

Stupid Questions... (And the Stupid Men Who Ask Them) A New Year’s Fic by @kmomof4

Slipping in one more fic on my most productive writing year yet! @iverna​ @caught-in-the-filter​ and @everything-person​ were discussing an EXTREMELY boneheaded Facebook/Twitter post the other day on the CS Movie Marathon Discord and I decided to write it. I truly hope I did the HYSTERICAL conversation between the ladies justice.

Thank you to @jrob64​ for her beta skills and her guidance on the fic as well as her assurance that the fic really is funny and to @hollyethecurious​ for being a sounding board about what direction to take it in. 

I really hope y’all enjoy and let me know what you think!

Summary: Neal is an idiot and really steps in it. CS gets together. Everyone’s happy.

Rating: T

Words: Almost 2900

Tags: New Years Eve, Neal is Clueless

On ao3

Tagging the usuals. 

@hollyethecurious​ @winterbaby89​ @snowbellewells​ @stahlop​ @resident-of-storybrooke​ @jennjenn615​ @kingofmyheart14​ @wistfulcynic​ @branlovestowrite​ @thisonesatellite​ @ultraluckycatnd​ @flslp87​ @whimsicallyenchantedrose​ @let-it-raines​ @shireness-says​ @kymbersmith-90​ @darkcolinodonorgasm​ @bethacaciakay​ @searchingwardrobes​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​ @teamhook​ @aprilqueen84​ @qualitycoffeethings​ @superchocovian​ @artistic-writer​ @donteattheappleshook​ @doodlelolly0910​ @seriouslyhooked​ @tiganasummertree​ @lfh1226-linda​ @xsajx​ @klynn-stormz​ @jrob64​ @wefoundloveunderthelight​ @zaharadessert​ @elizabeethan​ @goforlaunchcee​ @gingerpolyglot​ @allons-y-to-hogwarts-713​ @sailtoafarawayland​ @justanother-unluckysoul​ @veryverynotgoodwrites​ @jonesfandomfanatic​ @deckerstarblanche​ @the-darkdragonfly​ @batana54​ @purplehawkcaptain​ @k-leemac​ @motherkatereloyshipper​ @apiratewhopines​ @killiansqueenofthejollyroger​ @onceuponahookandswan​ @meat-pie-with-sauce​ @cosette141​ @pirateprincessofpizza​ @xarandomdreamx​ @fleurdepetite​ @hookmecaptain​ @o-wild-west-wind​

*I am updating my tag list for ‘23, so if you want to remain on my list, or be added, please contact me either here or on discord and let me know.*

Under the cut, unless Tumblr ate it.

                                   Group Chat

                  Killian, David, Robin, Will, Liam,

                                Victor, Neal

N: hey guys. Do girls actually orgasm?

K: 🤨

L: are you kidding?

R: what???!!!

N: seriously hear me out do women actually orgasm? I mean maybe that’s why theres so many unsatisfied women… theyve been taught that they should, but they really cant

K: 🤦😱

D: …

                                      Killian

D: Is he serious? I mean, really?

                                                 K: I’m afraid he is 😳

D: OMG

                                                                                                         Group Chat

                  Killian, David, Robin, Will, Liam,

                                  Victor, Neal

V: I’ve actually wondered that too

N: THANK YOU VICTOR

W: What’d I miss?

😳

Ya might want to consider, lads, that you’re doing it wrong… Pun very much intended

~*~*~

New Year’s Eve

David and Mary Margaret’s farmhouse

“I think I’m gonna ask the ladies,” Neal said, leaning casually against the counter sipping his beer while Killian straightened up the kitchen.

“Ask the ladies what?” he asked.

“From the group chat the other day,” Neal explained.

Killian stopped what he was doing and stared at Neal.

“Are you kidding me? What purpose… WHY would you do that?”

“Who better to ask?” he said, sounding a bit indignant. “I mean, they would know, right?”

Killian rolled his eyes. The idiot was going to get his ass handed to him on a silver platter, and Killian had to admit, he’d enjoy watching it. He’d never liked the man. His general arrogance and superiority complex irritated him to no end. And especially when he was around Emma. To hear Neal talk, you’d think he was the greatest thing that’d ever happened to her and that he’d been the one to break it off with her over a year ago. When actually, Killian and a few others in their group knew that Neal was lousy in bed, so she’d broken it off with him after just a few months. But since she’d never raised an objection to him occasionally coming back around when she’d have the most reason to, he’d decided to keep his mouth shut. The alcohol had been flowing pretty freely all night, but he didn’t think Neal was drunk enough to think that asking this question was really a good idea.

Robin came in then to see Killian putting the rest of the trash in the garbage can, studiously avoiding Neal’s eyes and Neal looking seriously affronted.

“What’s going on, guys?”

“This Einstein wants to ask the ladies what he asked us in the group chat the other day.”

Robin couldn’t stop the bark laugh that burst from him at Killian’s statement. Neal’s face reddened even further.

“It’s your funeral,” Robin snickered and Neal left the kitchen with an angry huff. Robin brought himself under control and smirked at Killian. “This I’ve got to see. Come on, mate.”

The tiny curl of Killian’s mouth made Robin’s grin even wider. They pushed through the doors from the kitchen to the den. Neal had just settled back down in his chair and was looking around the room, obviously waiting for a lull in the various conversations happening. Mary Margaret sat on David’s lap, her arms looped around his neck and was conversing with Liam and his girlfriend, Elsa.

Whale was deep in conversation with Ruby, and Emma and Regina were talking animatedly near the window. Will and Belle were snuggled up in front of the fire.

The ladies by the window came back into the den, drawing everyone’s attention briefly. Neal saw his chance and took it.

“I saw a post on Twitter the other day and wanted to ask you ladies about it,” he said loudly, with a sideways glance at Killian and Robin. It was all Killian could do to not shake his head and roll his eyes at the man. He wondered if he should go pop some popcorn to eat while watching the show about to commence.

“What was it?” Mary Margaret asked. David’s eyes got big and shot over to Killian and Robin. Killian gave a short sharp nod and David shut his eyes in dismay.

“It asked if women really orgasm.” Silence met Neal’s statement.

Killian’s eyes darted around, taking in the expressions on all the different faces in the room. There was incredulity and embarrassment on the faces of the ladies and the men had a mixture of horror and resignation along with a bit of curiosity in Victor’s case.

“Do women really orgasm?” Regina repeated slowly and deliberately, with a roll of her eyes. “Only someone as boneheaded and clueless as you, Neal, would ask that question,” she snarked. Robin moved toward her and wrapped his arm around her waist, nuzzling her neck.

“I tried to tell him, babe.” He placed a kiss on her pulse point, making her shiver. Robin smirked at Neal before continuing. “But he wouldn’t listen.”

Regina turned toward him and wrapped her arms around his neck before turning her face back toward Neal. “I can assure you, women orgasm.”

“But how do you know?” Victor asked. “I mean, the evidence for men is indisputable, but for women, there’s no objective physiological evidence for it.”

“Yeah,” Neal agreed, obviously appreciating the support.

Killian burst out laughing at them, and Liam turned stunned eyes on his college roommate while Elsa’s cheeks flamed.

“Ya wouldn’t know a woman’s pleasure if it knocked you upside the head, mate,” Will shot at Victor over his shoulder.

“Neither would Neal,” Emma murmured under her breath, cutting her eyes toward the man in question and then at Killian. When she spotted him looking at her, her cheeks reddened.

“I knew there had to be a reason Whale was charming someone new every month,” David said. “Nobody would go for it more than once.”

“But maybe he has a point?”

Killian’s neck jerked so hard turning it toward Emma, he was amazed he didn’t pull something. “Swan. SWAN!” he repeated, absolutely horrified. “Do you mean to tell me that you’ve never…”

“No!” she exclaimed. “But… I mean…” she stammered, her cheeks as red as the leather jacket she favored, “just, you know, it’s different when it’s, uh, with a partner. As opposed to… something else. I mean, maybe some women really can’t… you know.”

“Whatever you’ve been told. Whatever you’ve experienced, Swan,” he couldn’t help cutting his eyes over at Neal at that point before meeting her own again, “I can guarantee you is incorrect.” He waggled his eyebrows at her trying to lighten the mood a bit. “And I’d be more than willing and happy to prove it to you anytime you wish.”

“Yeah, I bet you would,” smirked Liam, who was well aware of how his brother felt about Emma.

Regina rolled her eyes. “Surely there’s someone in this town willing to educate these two idiots.”

Ruby smirked and looped her arms around Whale’s neck. “I bet I could teach him a few things,” she purred.

Victor’s face looked absolutely delighted as he wrapped his arms around her waist. “I am yours to command,” he said, earnestly.

“Don’t look at me,” Emma said, hands held up in a ‘stay back’ gesture. “I may be the only unattached female here, but I’ve had my fill of ‘wham, bam, thank you, ma’am.’” She cut her eyes back toward Neal again. “Once was one time too many.”

Neal’s face was so red with embarrassment, it was nearly purple. Killian almost felt sorry for the man being outed like this. But then he thought about Neal’s treatment of Emma and smiled in approval. Before he could make his own smart comment, Neal surged to his feet and bolted for the front door, slamming it shut behind him. Killian thought he heard him muttering something along the lines of doesn’t know what she’s talking about. He could only hope that was the last they’d see of him.

He could see the tension release from Emma’s shoulders as soon as Neal left and he had to admit, he was relieved as well. Everyone else went back to their conversations and Killian approached Emma where she was standing by the Christmas tree.

“Are you alright there, love?”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just ignore him most of the time. But that was…” she trailed away with a shake of her head.

“Have to agree with you,” he said, taking a sip of his water. There was almost an hour before the ball dropped and if he wanted to be able to drive home tonight, it was time to switch.

Emma took a sip of her own and cleared her throat nervously, her eyes darting around the room at all the couples. Following her gaze, he saw several couples he wasn’t sure would make it to the ball drop.

“Some people need to get a room,” she muttered.

Killian snorted into his glass, thankful he’d already swallowed. “They won’t make it much longer, I don’t think,” he assured her.

And sure enough. It wasn’t fifteen minutes later when Ruby and Whale were saying their goodbyes. Robin, Regina, Will, and Belle had all already left.

“Don’t forget brunch tomorrow, Emma,” Ruby said.

Emma raised her eyebrow at her friend. “Uh huh, like I’m the one who’ll have to leave a man in my bed to get there.”

Ruby grinned wolfishly. “I’ll text you if I’m not going to make it.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Emma dismissed. “Have fun. Be safe.”

“Always,” she said with a wink, turning toward the door where Victor was saying goodbye to David, Killian, and Liam.

Elsa shot Emma a look. “That’s not necessarily true, you know.”

“What?” Emma asked.

“That you wouldn’t need to leave a man in your bed to make brunch with Ruby tomorrow.”

“Are you talking about Killian?” she asked. “He wasn’t serious,” she continued, rolling her eyes.

“Are you sure about that, Emma?” Mary Margaret asked. “He has mooned over you forever.”

Elsa nodded in agreement. “It’s obvious to everyone but you, Emma. That man is crazy about you. Why do you think he hasn’t dated since you and Neal broke up?”

Emma looked sheepish, cutting her eyes toward the door and shrugged her shoulders.

“You should go for it, Emma,” Mary Margaret urged her. “He’s made the offer, the ball is in your court. You have to be the one to act. He’s not going to say anymore about it. He’ll wait for you and whatever you’re willing to give.”

Emma looked over at the door again as Killian laughed loudly at something Liam just said. His eyes caught hers and his mirth disappeared as he smiled gently at her. Just that small interaction was enough to send her heart racing. Of course, she’d always been attracted to him. Who wouldn’t be? With his gentleman tendencies, crystal blue eyes, dark brown hair and dark scruff with just a hint of ginger, the man was undeniably gorgeous. And a massive flirt. He’d never given her any indication that he’d be interested in anything more than just one night. And Emma wasn’t willing to risk the friendship she had with him on one night. But what her friends were telling her now was making her head spin. And she didn’t know what she should do about that.

Once Ruby and Victor were gone, the other three couples turned off all the lights, save the TV and Christmas tree, and settled in the den to watch the live coverage of the ball drop. Emma sat next to Killian on the sofa, but wouldn’t let herself get too comfortable with him. His arm was slung across the back of the sofa and it was incredibly tempting to snuggle into his side and let him wrap his arm around her shoulder. But given her vacillation on the pertinent question, she didn’t want to send mixed signals. And what if she was right and he really wasn’t serious? She didn’t think she’d be able to stand it if she succumbed to temptation and he rejected her. As midnight approached, her nerves increased.

Emma turned slightly to look at Elsa. Bathed in the light from the fire, she couldn’t see her friend’s expression very well, but she gave Emma a slight nod and smile of encouragement. Emma smiled back and turned to look at Killian. The darkness of the room wrapped itself around them until Emma was aware of nothing but Killian looking right back at her. Emma caught her breath at what she saw in his eyes. Desire, devotion, love. She could hear the countdown from the flatscreen in the background, but it was nothing more than an unimportant nuisance to what was happening between her and Killian.

Before she could second guess herself, she moved toward him and brushed her lips against his.

That was all it took. It was like a dam broke. He wrapped his arms around her and drew her back to him, capturing her lips with his. His hands plunged into her hair, as he requested entrance with his tongue.

 Emma moaned at the back of her throat as she eagerly granted his request. He pillaged and plundered like a pirate of old and Emma felt a shiver of pleasure cascade down her spine. She gasped as his arms tightened around her, her breasts flattening against the hard planes of his chest.

Pulling back with a soft whimper of disappointment, she gazed into his eyes. They were blown with arousal and she could feel his hardened length against her hip where she all but laid across his torso.

“You know,” he whispered, “I’ve heard it said that whatever you’re doing at midnight on New Years, is what you can expect for the coming year. Or something along those lines anyway.”

“Hmmm,” she replied. “You know, I’ve heard that too.” Emma couldn’t miss the white of his teeth as he grinned widely at her statement. She responded in kind. “So are you ok with that? With this? Us?”

His arms tightened around her and he bent down and kissed the end of her nose. Emma didn’t think anyone had ever done anything that cute to her before and it made her grin even wider.

“I am very much ok with it, Swan. As long as you are.”

“I am.” She looked around the room at the other couples, still caught up in their own embraces, feeling her cheeks heat. “You want to get out of here?” She caught her bottom lip between her teeth as she looked at him. He squeezed her hip slightly and released a quiet groan at her question.

Emma jumped up from the sofa, Killian following her, drawing the attention of everyone else.

“This was fun, M’s,” she gushed. If she wasn’t so flustered, she’d likely laugh at the lustful haze and bewildered look on David and Mary Margaret’s faces at being interrupted.

“Huh?” she asked, shaking her head, trying to put her hostess hat back on. “Oh, right! Thanks for coming,” she exclaimed, standing and pulling Emma into a tight embrace.

David, Liam, and Elsa also rose, David holding his hand out to shake. “Thanks for coming, guys.” He was more collected than Mary Margaret and gave Killian a significant look. Liam, too, raised his eyebrows at Killian, noticing how closely he stood to Emma, his hand resting lightly on her waist.

“Is this what I think it is,” Liam asked softly, where the ladies wouldn’t hear.

Killian’s cheeks flamed and he had to struggle not to scratch at the place behind his ear that always itched when he was nervous or embarrassed.

“Yes, brother. And you have my assurance,” he continued, glancing at David, “I won’t do anything to hurt her. I’m in this for the long haul.”

David put his hand on Killian’s shoulder. “Good. It’s about damn time.”

“Agreed,” Liam said.

Everyone took their leave, and Killian escorted Emma back to her apartment where he proceeded to show her, in exquisite detail and for many hours, just how in this for the long haul he was.

~*~*~

January 3

Granny’s Diner

Emma made her way into Granny’s to finally meet up with Ruby for their annual New Years Brunch. It had been postponed and postponed again when they both couldn’t be bothered to leave their respective men to meet up.

Ruby’s grin was wide and wolfish as she sat down.

“A little sore are we?” she asked.

Emma licked her lips nervously. “Maybe just a little.”

Ruby howled. “I always knew Jones would be good in the sack.” She leaned forward eagerly. “How many times? Not total, but the first night.”

Emma bit her lip before replying. “Four.”

Ruby threw her head back as she laughed. She got herself under control, her eyes twinkling. “It was a little slow going at first, but Victor’s a quick study. He’ll be fine.” Ruby’s grin was all teeth and Emma grinned back before her attention was drawn to the back of the diner, where Neal rose from his seat, violently throwing his fork down on the table and bolting for the door. His face was thunderous and it wasn’t hard to figure out that he’d overheard their conversation.

Emma rolled her eyes as Ruby giggled.

“Stupid men…” she said before joining Ruby in joyous laughter, expressing all the happiness in her heart for the new year before them.

~*~*~

Happy New Year, everyone!! Thank you for reading and sharing! I’d love to know what you think!

[pinkarachnia]

Lesbian Anime Review #9 - Birdie Wing Golf Girls' Story Season 2

The world is a miserable place and I hope we all die.

So I just finished the last episode of Birdie Wing and I feel very differently about season 2 compared to how I felt about the first half. I'm going to spoil what does and, more critically, what doesn't happen in this show in this review, so read on at your own peril.

I am so fucking disappointed.

When I saw the first season of Birdie Wing I thought it was exceptional. The yuri force was so strong with that show that I was out here thinking it was the chosen one. But I digress, rather than vent about how sad I am, I should actually try to write a proper review to some level.

Season 2 of Birdie Wing is about Eve and Aoi playing golf in different tournaments across the world while they aim for the pro tour so that they can fulfill their promise of golfing against each other. They barely get to see each other for the whole show. There's a lot of them playing against other characters who don't matter, inevitably winning and then thinking about how great it will eventually be when they see each other.

Sidebar 1 - fuck yearning

I'm sick of this shit. The most common yuri trope is yearning and it seems like this defines some people's interpretations of how yuri is supposed to be. I think there's an issue with anime in general where characters entering into a relationship is considered "endgame", so you'll often see those plotlines get dragged out needlessly to keep characters from getting together, but it feels particularly egregious here in Birdie Wing season 2.

Season 1 of Birdie Wing ended with Eve and Aoi winning a doubles tournament together. Eve had promised to kiss Aoi if they won. This is never brought up for the entirety of season 2. They launch into season 2 with a secret parents plot, which I actually enjoyed.

(Damn I went looking for a gif and I think this is the only time Eve touches Aoi's face in season 2. Ladies, I'm at my limit.)

Eve has had amnesia for all of the first season and she gets her memories back suddenly and remembers who her dad is. It's Aoi's dad! That sucks for her. They briefly have an "oh shit are we related" moment, but then Aoi learns that her dad might not be her real dad because her mother had an affair with the guy who has been coaching her for her whole life. So both the main characters get a secret parents plot, and I kind of love this. It's so absurd but it feels just right for this show, which seems to relish in its own absurdity. I get that the parent stuff would have fully distracted the girls from their season 1 yuri promise, but once they've figured this out, nothing seems to change.

Season 2 feels weighed down by the way it splits its focus between the two main characters. Both Eve and Aoi go through their own separate stories independent of each other where they both learn about their secret parents, both learn new golfing techniques and both go through physical struggles in order to play golf. Aoi has a disease that she inherited from her dad that gives her headaches and makes her pass out if she exerts herself, and Eve's golfing style is so physically demanding that she breaks all her bones or something. She has to go through a training montage where she works out until the following tournament after she creates her signature shot, Rainbow Bullet Burst. This specific part is something I like, but that's because I still think Eve is the best anime protagonist maybe ever.

Season 2 is 12 episodes long, and after Eve and Aoi go their separate ways in episode 4, they don't see each other again until around the end of episode 10, and even then they barely interact with each other. Season 1 had enough gay subtext that I was genuinely impressed, but that was nowhere in season 2. There was one episode that covered the backstory of Aoi's caddy, and they put all their romantic analogues in that episode and then have her say "no homo" at the end. I wasn't really bothered at the time because I was never that invested in those two having anything, but now that the season has ended, I can see that on reflection, that was the episode with the strongest romantic themes, and that feels like a punch in the gut.

The golf was also more boring in season 2 compared to season 1. In season 1, Eve used a series of colour-themed golf swings which she would reveal throughout the season, but in season 2, she only really needs to use the rainbow bullet and then rainbow bullet burst. These shots are too good and she never needs to use any of her previous swings any more. It seemed to me that there were a lot of reused animations in season 2. I got so sick of seeing the exact same animation for one of Eve's opponents who does a run-up swing with a cannon motif because I saw it over and over. It's a 12 episode show, but that didn't stop them from recycling these same shots all the time. At least if the main characters got more unique moves it might have been more forgivable, but it didn't impress me like the first season did.

Sidebar 2 - season 1 is still good

The thing that's hitting me the hardest when I think about season 2 of Birdie Wing is that the first season was incredible. In terms of the sports setpieces, the characters that I loved and the yuri content, season 1 was masterful. Season 2 seems to be making some attempt to recapture that, but it doesn't seem to have any new ideas. The stakes in season 1 feel huge because Eve has to play golf against the mafia to defend the home of her loved ones or play for her own life. Season 2 has the British Open. They include some of these elements in season 2, but they're brief and only appear to tie up loose ends. Eve has one match in the mafia setting so some golfer can job to her and it's over in an episode and then she never has to deal with them again. The official tournament setting means they don't get to do anything zany with the courses, it's just regular golf. The coolest parts of season 1 feel watered down in season 2. Season 1 had Rose in it. No character has ever been as sick as her.

Season 1 had this in it

I need a stiff drink, fuck.

I've been slowly working through a bottle of The Shin, it's a Japanese blended whiskey. It's alright, but for a similar pricepoint I think Suntory Toki tastes better. The other day I treated myself to some Yamazaki 12 at a whiskey bar and for a while I was thinking that I just can't taste why it's so much more expensive than other whiskeys. On reflection and after having a few others for comparison, I think I can appreciate the quality a bit more, but it's still way out of my price range. Give me a Macallan 12 any day.

Anyway what else can I even say about this show

Look, it's complicated because season 1 did not feel like yuri bait. Look at that gif! It haunts me! I'm in pain writing this.

Season 2 however, is 100% unequivocally yuri bait. They don't kiss. I'm sorry. I feel betrayed. When I finished the episode, the first thing I did was go to MAL to look at the staff credits for these shows because it made me think that surely season 2 was written by someone else and that's why it ended like this. From what I can tell, it's the same staff. I would love to be proven wrong on this; please if you know better, prove me wrong. It's insane to me that the same people who made Birdie Wing season 1 would choose to end the show in this way. Season 1 gave me hope, but season 2 has eroded the good faith that season 1 built up in me. I'm a husk of a woman. Birdie Wing season 2 might be the reason I read Berserk.

I'm not giving this show a review score because it doesn't feel like I can sum up these feelings with a number like that.

I'll never forget season 1 of Birdie Wing.

I'll never forget Evangeline Burton.

She shot right through me with her rainbow bullet.

[mzannthropy]

L.M. Montgomery - The Red Room

This story gets included with LMM's Christmas stories in collections, however it's not a Christmas story (this is not a 'is Die Hard a Christmas movie' type of discussion, The Red Room is just not a Christmas story; the only reason it gets lumped with those is that it partly takes place at Christmas). But bc I listed it in my initial Merry Maudmas post, I still want to recap it, and I think it's worth doing so. Just without the festive heading, lol. (But still under the tag.)

It's an early piece by LMM, dated 1898. It's very different from her usual works, and the prose is different too, more old fashioned. This actually makes sense within the story: it's a tale narrated by an elderly lady to her grandchild (it is not specified whether this is a granddaughter or a grandson). So if she's old in 1898, the events she narrates could have taken place mid-19th century.

It's also deliciously melodramatic.

You would have me tell you the story, Grandchild? 'Tis a sad one and best forgotten—few remember it now. There are always sad and dark stories in old families such as ours.

The narrator, Beatrice, is asked by her late father's stepmother, Mrs Montressor, to the Montressor Place for Christmas holidays. Beatrice is excited about this, her mother less so (as she has no one else, having lost her husband). The Montressors are, it seems, very a proud family, and Montressor Place is a big old mansion, and all of Beatrice's aunts love her and dote on her. Beatrice looks forward the most to the Christmas Eve ball, bc she'll get to meet Uncle Hugh's new wife, of whom she heard many tales about.

The family are not thrilled about Uncle Hugh's marriage. For years he was a bachelor. And when he finally got married, instead of choosing his stepmother-approved bride, he brought home, from his voyage to the Indies, a foreign wife, of whom nobody knew anything about, aside from being dazzlingly beautiful. Her name is Alicia, and Beatrice's aunts speak of her being a 'light woman' and that no good will come from Hugh marrying her.

Beatrice has no one to play with at the Montressor Place, but she doesn't mind (she is one of those children who are older than their years), she has her books, she helps out in the kitchen--and she likes spending time in the Red Room. It is Mrs Montressor's (the step grandmother) sitting room, where she writes letters and does accounts.

The room was low-ceilinged and dim, hung with red damask, and with odd, square windows high up under the eaves and a dark wainscoting all around it. And there I loved to sit quietly on the red sofa and read my fairy tales, or talk dreamily to the swallows fluttering crazily against the tiny panes.

This year, however, Beatrice is not allowed to the Red Room, for it belongs to Alicia now. (So I guess Uncle Hugh is the patriarch of the family, which would make his wife the lady of the Montressor Place, while his stepmother is a dowager. Of sorts.)

At last, Alicia arrives to the Place. Beatrice is stunned by her beauty. She's described very poetically (which fits the story's overall tone). She is tall, royally graceful, with red-gold hair, skin like a delicate white rose leaf and eyes 'that might have been dark or light for aught that I could ever tell, but which seemed always like pools of warm flame, now tender, now fierce'.

Alicia takes an instant liking to little Beatrice. Beatrice, being a a sensitive child, notices that while Uncle Hugh looked proud of his beautiful wife, there was a lurking mistrust in his face.

Alicia allows Beatrice to spend time with her in the Red Room (she prefers company of the little girl over the Montressors, whom she calls 'cold'). Perceptive Beatrice notices that Alicia seems to endure her husband's affection, instead of welcoming it.

Christmas Eve comes. Beatrice wakes up with an unfortunate cold; she won't be able to attend the ball. But Alicia, not wanting her new little friend to miss out, comes to Beatrice's room, dressed up for the occasion, to show off, bc she knows Beatrice wants to see her.

Her gown was of white, and there was nothing I could liken the stuff to save moonshine falling athwart a frosted pane, and out from it swelled her gleaming breast and arms, so bare that it seemed to me a shame to look upon them. Yet it could not be denied they were of wondrous beauty, white as polished marble. And all about her snowy throat and rounded arms, and in the masses of her splendid hair, were sparkling, gleaming stones, with hearts of pure light, which I know now to have been diamonds, but knew not then, for never had I seen aught of their like.

Uncle Hugh enters the room. He tells his wife not to dance with 'that man' bc he mistrusts him. Alicia whispers something in his ear, to which he replies: "Do not try me too far, Alicia."

Beatrice is ordered to stay in bed, but every once in a while, even a good kid disobeys. She slips out of her room, but before she can reach the hall, she hears footsteps and hides in the nearest room, behind the curtains. Then, Alicia comes to the same room, accompanied by a strange man. Beatrice dislikes the man on first sight, he reminds her of a snake she once encountered in the garden. Alicia and the man start kissing passionately.

Uncle Hugh enters the room and they stop. He strikes the man, who, as Beatrice narrates it 'being a coward at heart, as are all villains, turned white and slunk from the room with a muttered oath, nor was he stayed'. Uncle Hugh tells Alicia that from this moment, she is no longer a wife of his.

He keeps his word. Everyone is aware something must have happened, but nobody knows what and Beatrice keeps quiet about the scene she witnessed. She goes home after New Year, but Mrs Montressor soon invites her again bc she misses her (no word about the kid going to school). Beatrice spends time in the Red Room with Alicia, who seldom leaves it. Uncle Hugh is away a lot on business.

One day, Alicia calls Beatrice to the Red Room again. She asks the girl to tell her the story behind the room, suspecting there must be one. So little Beatrice tells her. Generations before, a Montressor, disgraced himself. When he came home to his mother, she started shouting insults and reproaches at him and he, in despair, turned his swords against him and killed himself. His mother went mad from this and was kept in the Red Room for the rest of her life.

Alicia asks Beatrice what she'd think if those cold proud aunts of hers told her she was unworthy of love. Beatrice, remembering what she witnessed, says nothing. Alicia then picks up a small dagger with a jewelled handle that was on a side table. She also gives Beatrice a gold chain and sends her out of the room.

Alicia sits by the hall window. It's a stormy night. Uncle Hugh is away and not expected back in this weather. Yet, he does return; he is all wet and carries a whip in one hand and a crumpled letter in the other. Beatrice follows him to the Red Room, thinking of the confectionery he brought her. Thus, she witnesses another dramatic scene.

Alicia is dressed for travel. Uncle Hugh is not having her run away with her lover. They argue, throw insults at each other, Alicia attempts to leave the room, but he stops her. He won't let her go. So, she takes the dagger out and stabs him. He falls dead and she runs.

Poor Beatrice gets ill form this experience and lays in bed with fever for weeks. By the time she recovers, Uncle Hugh has been buried and as for Alicia, nothing has been heard of her since she fled the country with her lover.

Beatrice's mother, thankfully, takes her daughter home and gets rid of the gold chain. Mrs Montressor has the wing that Red Room is part of torn down.

So, Grandchild, the sad tale is ended, and you will not see the Red Room when you go next month to Montressor Place. The swallows still build under the eaves, though—I know not if you will understand their speech as I did.

Holy gothic melodramatic in the attic, what a story! Look me in the eye and tell me you don't love it!

This is probably the type of story Anne and her friends would write in their Story Club. I think it's actually good that LMM experimented, before she landed on her signature style that we now know and love. How do you know what works for you if you don't try?

Also I think this is what could have gone down in the Tomgallon house. You know their family is cursed.

If I can add my commentary--and I can, bc this is my blog, dammit--Team Alicia all the way! Coming from me it's not surprising, also I'm an unapologetic mad wife supporter (I have a whole ass heretical Jane Eyre sideblog). But think about it. The Montressors are so up themselves, it's a rare one that is good enough for them. Our narrator is biased in this matter herself (she straight up admits to being a proud Montressor). I mean, her mother didn't want to be separated from her at Christmas, yet she had no choice over sending her child to the Place. I wonder how many unhappy wives this family had? The aunts mentioned in the story are all Montressors by birth. And they were all prejudiced against Alicia from the start. Sure, their mistrust towards her was justified--but how much of this is just a part of the destructive cycle?

Uncle Hugh declared Alicia was his wife no more, yet he didn't want her to leave. He was terrified of being 'dishonoured'.

It would be interesting to play with different scenarios about how those two met and married each other, who was the snake-like lover--and what happened to Alicia afterwards? If anyone fancies writing it, here's your prompt!

[pyxy-styx]

I can't sleep, so have some OC lore no one asked for.

TW for death and mentions of shitty parenting

- Pamela is the only character without a set backstory because I like the idea of her just being a really mysterious, nice, old lady. She is Gwen's mother, she raised the kids after Gwen died and Sam left them on her porch. That's all anyone knows outside of random things she references.

- Gwen is dead in most versions of the story. In the original, she was just kinda dead for no reason. In the main universe, she died protecting her kids from a werewolf. In the Apocalypse version, she died protecting her kids from zombies or whatever "ended the world." Her death changes depending on the universe I'm using, but she always dies when Jackson is nine and the twins are seven.

- Sam was originally an abusive asshole, but while rewriting the story, I felt like I wasn't being fair to his character by just writing him off as an asshole no one likes. Now, the kids have a complicated relationship with him because they understand why he left them with Pamela and disappeared off the face of the earth, but it still hurts that he just kinda ditched them one day with no explanation.

- Jackson is THE tired older brother in the current version of the story. He was originally a bully, but as an older sibling myself, it was really difficult to make him actually be mean to his siblings so now he's just sarcastic and teases them a lot.

- Charlie originally died the same night as Gwen, but I brought them back to life because I grew too fond of their and Alex's relationship. The possibility of shenanigans and bonding existed, so I obviously I picked that route. They also had a different name when I first made them.

- Alex went from being an only child to being the oldest to being the middle child to being the youngest while still technically being the oldest. She was the first OC I made, so while she might be the baby of her family, she's been around longer than the rest.

- Eve was made on a whim because I wanted to write a relationship. Somehow, she went from being just a love interest I use for stories sometimes to having her own story and personality. No idea how that happened, but I love her.

[rusakkowrites]

WIP folder game

@wurzelbertzwerg tagged me to share my WIP folder, so here goes! These are story ideas that I’ve somewhat actively worked on at some point – I also have several notebooks full of scribbled ideas, but fortunately they’re out of scope for this game.

If you would like to share the contents of your WIP folder, consider yourself tagged by me!

Fandoms that I’m currently active in

Pride and Prejudice

Childhood Friends AU: Darcy and Elizabeth meet in London when Elizabeth is eight years old and end up meeting again over the years for various reasons. Probably won’t be finished because the plot involves some fanon-based characterisations and unrealistic scenarios that I don’t like anymore.

Different conversation at the inn AU: A short canon divergence in which Darcy can’t bear seeing Elizabeth in distress and ends up confessing his plan to find Lydia and Wickham. This leads to an earlier romantic resolution.

Elizabeth de Bourgh AU: AU in which Elizabeth’s father was Sir Lewis’s younger brother, who broke with his family, and her mother was Mr Bennet’s cousin. She’s been raised by the Bennets after being orphaned. When she’s 19 or 20, her paternal relatives take a renewed interest in her after she gets a surprise inheritance. Probably won’t be finished. (I actually also have some notes for a different AU in which Elizabeth is related to both the Bennets and the de Bourghs in a slightly less convoluted way – that one I might actually try to work on at some point.)

Hogwarts AU: An AU in which all the Austen characters are witches and wizards, mixing and matching plot elements from Pride and Prejudice and Harry Potter. Currently on the back burner because I feel conflicted about writing or posting anything related to J.K. Rowling.

Kitty thinks Darcy is evil AU: A Pride and Prejudice sequel from Kitty’s point of view, featuring lots of ridiculous misunderstandings on Kitty’s part.

Pride and Prejudice and Compound Interest: A short exploration of the potential financial futures of Elizabeth, Lydia and Charlotte. I have a complete draft of this one, but I feel like it would require more research before I’m willing to post it, and I’m not really motivated to do said research at the moment.

Animorphs AU: Darcy’s proposal to Elizabeth is interrupted when an injured alien crashes his spaceship in Mr Collins’s vegetable garden. I have lots of ideas and snippets for this one, but the scope creep became kind of intimidating, so I don’t know if I’ll ever finish any part of this story.

Emma

Snowed in AU: An AU in which the Woodhouses, the Knightleys and Mr Elton do get snowed in at Randalls on Christmas Eve. Mr Elton drinks more wine than in canon, his proposal is even worse, and events butterfly away from there. This one I’m actually actively working on at the moment (but that doesn’t necessarily mean it will ever be finished).

P&P + Emma crossover

P&P + Emma: Elizabeth’s trip with the Gardiners is cancelled and she persuades her father to forbid Lydia’s trip to Brighton, so the meeting at Pemberley doesn’t happen and Lydia never elopes. Instead, Elizabeth is invited by the Gardiners to visit some of their relatives in a little town called Highbury – and coincidentally, Mr Darcy and his sister happen to have family there too. The additional characters cause further complications in the already convoluted plot of Emma.

Northanger Abbey

To Rip What You Sew: A very short little Henry/Catherine piece inspired by a stupid pun. I need to find a suitable Gothic novel to reference before moving forward with this one.

April Lady (Georgette Heyer)

April Lady canon divergence: I actually have a preliminary summary for this one: “A dresser’s discretion and a kiss that is not interrupted put Lord and Lady Cardross on a different path towards reconciliation.” I’ve got most of the story written, but it’s been sitting and waiting for editing inspiration for a few years because I wasn’t quite happy with some parts of the plot.

Permanently abandoned WIPs from fandoms that I’ve moved away from

Yuri!!! On Ice

Yuuri of Green Gables: An AU idea inspired by L.M. Montgomery’s works. I only have a very vague recollection of what the plot was supposed to be, but I remember that it would have spanned from Yuuri’s childhood through his university years and that Yuuri became an artist. There was also a dramatic romantic resolution involving a broken engagement. I also had plans for a sequel that involved Yuuri getting measles and hallucinating. All in all it was a sprawling project that never got much beyond a 12,000-word bullet point plan and a few draft scenes.

Stand Still, Stay Silent

A Dangerous Midsummer: An AU in which Emil went to Finland with a group of cleansers after the first adventure and (of course) ended up working with Lalli. I remember that the story involved troll-hunting shenanigans, swamps, midsummer traditions and eventual romance.

Bedtime stories and lullabies: A story about Onni’s childhood, exploring his relationship with his family through bedtime stories and lullabies.

Tuuli Hollola: A fic about Tuuli Hollola from Kaino’s perspective.

Side effects: A story from Year 0 told through clinical trial documentation.

The Swedish mage: A story about a Swedish original character who accidentally found out that he was a mage during a visit to Norway. I remember that the dreamworld was involved, but I think I hadn’t quite worked out the entire plot when I abandoned the story.

I generally only post stories that are completely or almost completely pre-written, so these WIPs fortunately aren’t sitting abandoned on AO3 causing me stress. Most of them will probably never see the light of day, but they were fun to work on nonetheless!

[autumnalwalker]

Find The Word Tag

Thank you for the tag, @sleepyowlwrites.

My words were dry, fry, cry, try, & pry. Alas, it seems my current body of work does not yet contain the "bonus word" wry.

Passing the tag to @chayscribbles, @kahvilahuhut, @void-botanist, @perasperaadastrawriting, @ceph-the-ghost-writer, and the usual open tag for anyone else who wishes to join in.

Your words shall be close, emphasis, face, sort, & right.

Dry: The Archivist's Journal, Day 199

We weren’t even halfway down the path from the house to the side road when we spotted Cass coming toward us sporting her hooded cloak from the floating island trip.  She said that she wasn’t expecting us (mostly me) to be up and about this early.  Cheeky child.  

As for Vernon, we were prepared to wait for him at the turnoff to the cathedral until Maiko pointed out the boot imprints in the mud.  Instead we found him waiting for us under a tree outside the front door of the ruins, staying as dry as he could without actually going inside.  I can’t say I blame him for choosing to get wet.  If I’d had the courage to go into that place on my own I might have done it before now.  

When was the last time the five of us were in the same place at the same time?  The eve of the floating island expedition? I didn’t have long to bask in sentiment over the reunion of my circle of friends before Cass spoke up proclaiming she was getting out of the rain and went on through those things perpetually cracked doors.  (Stuck in the first moments of opening or the last moments of closing?)

Fry: Empty Names - 5 - Rite of First Refusal

“Here you go ladies.”

Eris and Lacuna look up in unison to see the waiter’s returned.

“Tonight’s special for you,” he slides a plate of something fried, unidentified, and between two buns in front of Eris.  “And your usual,” he finishes as he places a pile of fries, cheese, and gravy in front of Lacuna.

Eris notices the waiter shiver as he walks away.  Poor guy must be new.  Implanted memories are always a trip.  She makes a mental note to leave an extra tip later.

“Is it just me,”  Lacuna finally speaks up, “or does this place listen in on people’s conversations and time the food to it?”

“Oh, it definitely does.”

“Creepy.”

“Eh, I kinda like it.”

“You would.”

“It’d be worse if it was a person, but it's a building, you know?”

“A psychic, debatably sentient, ideological construct of an archetype.”

“Someone’s been doing her research.”

“Enough to know it's creepy.”

“But you still come here.”

“The food’s good enough to outweigh the creep factor.”  Lacuna shoves a forkful of gravy-covered-cheese curd in her mouth for emphasis.

Cry: The Archivist's Journal, Day 2

Took a break from writing to look around the house.  Found a mirror in one of the rooms.  Didn’t recognize the person I saw in it.  Spent… I don’t know how long… crying.  I’m not sure if this place even has clocks.  Weird thing is, it was a happy sort of crying.

Try: A Dream About Games

I am a child playing beneath an abandoned and overgrown overpass with other children.  The plants are all brown and parched.  Someone has carved dice from the stone at the overpass’s base, but whoever it was never finished carving the numbers on all the sides so we rarely use them.  The game we play most involves a hard rubber ball that we kick around.  One of us has caught what is either a very spindly crab or a very large spider in a large glass.  We discuss the prospect of somehow attaching it to the ball for our next game.  This doesn’t sit right with me and I argue against it.  The spider(crab?) escapes on its own anyway without my help.  I may not have wanted to hurt it, but I still fear it once it’s free and scurrying about.

Someone older - a parent probably, but maybe a sibling - arrives in a truck towing a flatbed trailer with plastic bags full of something soft and colorful.  Our game is discarded and the creature quickly forgotten as we climb onto the trailer for the new game of throwing ourselves onto the bags.  The truck starts moving and we try to stand upright for the ride and feel the wind on our faces.

Pry: Empty Names - 9 - Test Run

Eris would hardly call the partially ajar door that she soon finds herself prying the rest of the way open like a clamshell several moments later ‘normal’ but, to Road’s point, stepping into the interior of the ship’s upper deck beyond feels less like being eaten than she’d feared.  The squared corners where the walls meet ceiling and floor help with that impression, as do the feeble motes of bioluminescence running along those corners.  Not enough light to see by, but enough of a glowing outline of features to keep from bumping into a wall or stumbling down the hole in the floor where an ivory ladder leads down to the lower decks.  No, not like going down a throat or into a stomach at all, she reassures herself.  Sure, it is perceptibly warmer in here than it was outside - still not actually warm though - and it is humid, but any enclosed space on the ocean is like that, right?

[birdofdawning]

This is just silly stuff. I swear I meant to write about something else. It’s in the ‘What if Tristram and Dinadan Were Girls’ world, which will be of interest to barely anyone. I recomend going outside and playing in the garden instead of reading it.

They stopped at noon in a small meadow with a stream. While Tristram saw to the horses, Dinadan plucked the two ducks she had caught and began roasting them on a spit. And as she separated the meat onto two plates a young woman in a simple blue dress wandered into the clearing.

“Good Afternoon!” she called.

“Hallo!” said Tris with a brilliant smile, “Well met! Come and have dinner with us!”

“Thank you!” said the woman, ajusting her skirts and sitting down with them, “It smells heavenly.”

“Tris,” said Dina in an undertone, “we are in the lands of a wicked enchantress. Let’s not get carried away with the courtesy before we’ve asked a few questions.”

“Oh, you worry too much! I’m sure this maiden is perfectly respectable,” said Tris. “I like your dress very much,” she told the woman, “sort of simple but elegant.”

“Thank-you!” said the woman, “But why do you assume I’m a maiden?”

Tris blushed. “What? Oh, um, I supposed it’s because you have your hair down. And I can see your neck.”

“Ah. Well, as it happens I am unmarried. Which is what I am going to assume you mean by ‘maiden’. I am also,” she went on, taking some of the roast duck that Tris passed to her and pulling it apart with delicate fingers, “the Wicked Enchantress.”

Dinadan moved to pull her sword from its scabbard but it had suddenly become a startled looking heron, and after a moment where she seemed to be trying to shake the heron-ness out of the weapon she let it go and it slunk off to stand in the stream and glower at her.

“Well,” said Tris, glancing at Dina, and then at the heron, and then back at the Wicked Enchantress, “Well. I’m not actually sure how to respond to that.” She took another mouthful of duck thoughtfully.

“Yes, sorry for sort-of springing it on you like that, but I thought I’d better get it out of the way. I don’t mind a bit of play-acting — I do a very good Wise Old Crone — but sometimes it’s nice to just address matters head-on, don’t you think?”

“I do!” Tristram nodded emphatically.

“Tris!” hissed Dina, “Pay attention! She’s an evil sorceress, this is obviously a stratagem!”

“Oh, she doesn’t seem that bad.” Tris considered the Wicked Enchantress, who was licking the duck grease off her fingers appreciatively and regarding Tris in return. “Are you evil?” she said a little more doubtfully.

“I don’t know about ‘evil’,” said the Wicked Enchantress thoughtfully, “I don’t mind ‘wicked’ though. It makes it sound like my life is a lot more exciting than it really is. That was excellent duck, by the way. I don’t usually enjoy camp dinners, but this was a treat.”

“You have a pair of sisters imprisoned in a glass tower, surrounded by flames, and guarded by the ensorcelled knights who came to rescue them,” said Dina, exasperated. “That… doesn’t make for much of a recommendation, my lady. Rather evil, a lot of people would say.”

“I don’t think it’s evil so much as inconveniencing several people for a while. It’s more that you and I have different goals, and these are mutually incompatible. For the time being. So we’re likely to come into conflict. And I thought I might come and have a chat about it before we get to all that.”

“I supose, when I think about it, I don’t really feel like cleaving your head from your shoulders with one blow, like what people always say they’d do if they met an ev— a wicked enchantress.” Tris leaned back on her elbows and smiled at their guest.

“Good!” said the Wicked Enchantress ardently.

“Alright. Alright, so we have different goals.” Dina frowned and began thoughtfully shovelling soil over her fire with a stick. “Our goal is to free the sisters and the knights. Obviously. What is your goal?” she said turning to the Wicked Enchantress, “This all seems a little… baroque really. Towers of glass and walls of fire. There must be a simpler way to solve the land dispute or whatever it is.”

The Wicked Enchantress frowned. “It’s difficult to explain,” she began. “When you’ve lived for several centuries you begin playing a long game. The things I’m doing here and now won’t have the benefits I’m hoping to achieve for perhaps a generation. We’ll see.”

“Are you hundreds of years old?” asked Tris with interest.

“I am!” said the Wicked Enchantress. “It’s one of the things that happens when you’re an enchantress. You sort of stay ageless. It’s all the enchantments” she confided.

“How does one become an enchantress in the first place?”

“Oh, in lots of ways.” The Wicked Enchantress thought for a moment. “Nimuë — well, she’s calling herself ‘Vivienne’ now — anyway, you know who I mean, well she’s descended from a race of fey people from the West. So it’s in her blood. And some people get trapped and spend a lifetime-in-one-night inside a fairy hill and learn it there. And some people accidentally eat a Wise Animal and gain its wisdom. It’s all a bit arbitrary, really…” She trailed off and frowned at nothing in particular.

“… And you?” asked Dina patiently.

“Oh! I was made to go to the White School in Lyonesse and learn magic. But I ran away. And then Lyonesse was drowned by the sea! So I’m the last of my people. It’s all terribly sad but I am very brave about it.” She put on a look of intense brooding nobility that made Tris laugh.

“I don’t know how much of that is true,” said Dina, unable to stop smiling herself.

“Well, you can’t expect me to tell all my secrets in one meeting. I mean, your duck was good but not that good, Dinadan.”

Dinadan laughed too and said “I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised you know our names. You probably know all about us.” The Wicked Enchantress grinned at her and said nothing.

“But Lyonesse hasn’t been drowned by the sea,” said Tristram. “It’s fine. Well, I assume. I’m the heir to the place. I suppose,” she said doubtfully, “I really ought to wander on down there and check on it some time…”

The Wicked Enchantress stopped, because Dinadan had been coughing pointedly, and took in Tristram’s suddenly grave expression. “Was that… perhaps a little heartless? About your mother?” she asked. “I am sorry. It’s the longevity. And the wickedness, I suppose — it makes you a bit callous. And I don’t often get to just talk like this. Usually I’m in disguise or playing a part. But my point is,” she went on quickly, “that all this tragedy was necessary for your father to remarry, and for you to eventually fall out with him and be sent to Brittany, and start on the path that finds you here, doing Good Deeds. At least, according to Merlin.”

“This was a different Lyonesse,” said the Wicked Enchantress, “Or will be. But actually, this all gives me an idea. About what I mean when I say ensuring what needs to happen seems ‘evil’ when you’re the one it’s happening to. Tristram, your father, King Meliodas, was ensorcelled by an enchantress (not me) who claimed she wanted him for a boyfriend. And Merlin—” (“That fellow!” muttered Dina) “Yes, well he released Meliodas from her spells. Right? But he didn’t do it until your heavily pregnant mother followed her husband into the forest to rescue him, where she gave birth to you and then died. And then, oh look! here comes Merlin, ready to put it all right, shame about your mother, but here’s the child who will grow to become bold Sir Tristram and fulfil a bushel of prophesies! Or a whatever of prophesies. What is the collective noun for a group of prophesies?”

“Merlin’s shifty,” said Dina darkly.

“Yes. Well.” The Wicked Enchantress waved her fingers vaguely. “I’m trying to think of something to say that will change the subject, but gracefully, so we can all pretend this hasn’t been awkward.”

“A gallimaufry,” said Tristram.

“What?” said Dina.

“A gallimaufry of prophesies,” said Tristram, “could be its collective noun. Because they’re always so jumbled and all over the place, and don't make sense until afterwards,” she explained, “A hodge-podge. Like a stew. Or when you meet a group of travellers on the road and they’re all people who wouldn’t ever mix or even know each other normally, but because they’re travelling in the same direction they’ve become a company. In the South,” she added, “we call that a gallimaufry.”

There was a brief silence while the other two contemplated this suggestion. Then the Wicked Enchantress said “I rather like that. A gallimaufry of prophesies. I shall use it from now one whenever I’m discussing prophesies (which is usually only with other enchantresses) and I won’t explain it; I’ll just throw it in there and carry on talking as if everyone knows what it means.”

“The sisters. And the knights.” said Dinadan, getting them back on track.

(And this is why enchantresses still refer to several prophesies as a gallimaufry to this day, and refuse to explain the origin of the word.)

“Yes,” said Tris, “we simply can’t just leave them. But I think we’re open to suggestions that don’t involve violence?”

“I like how you called it violence and not ‘mighty deeds of arms’ or something like that,” said the Wicked Enchantress. “When you’re more likely to be on the receiving end than performing the mighty deeds of arms, they do just seem brutal and harsh rather than the stuff of High Romance.”

She looked out into the trees across the stream for a moment. “How about this. I need maybe three more days. And the thing I’m waiting for will happen far away from here — I’m not going to do anything to the people I’m... entertaining. No-one’s going to get pregnant or anything.”

Dinadan raised her eyebrows. “That seems rather specific.”

“Well, no-one will. You two could camp out here, or visit Sir Ambrose who’s only a half day’s ride that way.” The Wicked Enchantress gestured to the east. “I understand he keeps a good pond for fishing — largely because that’s all he will talk about when I run into him. And then you two could come back on Thursday and free all my poor prisoners with some magical thingamabob, or through your intense faith or whatever. And I will be so impressed that I will see the Error of My Ways and beg your forgiveness and you can spare my life so long as I promise to renounce my magics and do lots of good deeds forever after. How’s that?”

Tristram and Dinadan exchanged glances. “Will you renounce your magics and do good deeds?” asked Tris.

“Probably not,” said the Wicked Enchantress cheerfully. “But I do give you my word that nobody will be harmed while they are in my lands.” An idea struck her. “And I will throw a house party! I haven’t given a party in a very long time. With excellent food and games. I’ll be able to show off a bit. And send everyone off on Monday, all well-mounted and provisioned and in fine clothes. The clothes,” she added, “may turn to peasant rags and gossamer once you cross out of my country, but that will make for a good story later so nobody will mind too much.”

Dinadan was cautious. “Three days,” she said. “And you would give us something, some Thing of Power, that breaks your enchantments over the knights and the sisters?”

“Oh, I’ll free them myself as soon as you arrive,” said the Wicked Enchantress dismissively. “You could just wave whatever you like around and say it’s breaking my spells. Choose something funny and I’ll try not to laugh.”

Tristram looked slightly embarrassed. “Look, it’s not that we don’t take you at your word,” she said, “it’s just that... well it seems like rather a mean sort of ruse. We’ll get all the credit for a desperate rescue but we won’t actually be in any danger. According to you. Or be doing much of anything. But we’ll have to hear about for years after and pretend it’s all true.”

The Wicked Enchantress stood abruptly, startling them both. She almost seemed to tower over them, her black hair flowing around her in a sudden wind that smelt of rain and the sea. “Sir Tristram,” she cried, “by your good and noble nature you have passed my test. You are indeed as true to the ideals of knighthood as I had hoped. I lift my enchantments and free my prisoners who, Behold! approach us even now!”

“Really?” said Tris, looking around hopefully.

“No,” said the Wicked Enchantress sitting back down again.

“How about this,” said Dina who had decided to ignore them both. “How about us coming to your castle on Thursday is what breaks the spells and releases the prisoners. And we’ll let people assume it’s part of a prophesy or something. And it isn’t a lie because we’re agreeing now that this is what will happen?”

The Wicked Enchantress nodded. “Yes, if you like. Sir Tristram, what say you?”

Tristram was puzzling it out. “I suppose so,” she said slowly. “I sort of feel like it’s still not quite The Thing but I can’t explain why.” She shook her head and grinned. “Oh alright! And you two can do all the acting you like and I’ll just claim not to know anything about it all. And the party does sound like fun.”

The Wicked Enchantress looked pleased. “Well, I am glad I decided to try talking to you before things got too unpleasant! It’s a pleasure to deal with sensible people. And now I must leave you.” They stood courteously, and she allowed Tris to help her up off the grass and stood brushing down her skirts as she gazed up at both of them. “So Thursday, then! I shall look forward to it. And I really do appreciate you taking me at my word. I realise I don't necessarily appear to be the most creditworthy of persons.”

They made ‘not at all’ noises, and she smiled at them again with her head a little on one side, before turning to walk back the way she had come. After a few steps she looked back over her shoulder. “I usually end these things by giving a Vital Instruction or Riddle, like ‘Come clothed in raiments that were stitched without needle nor thread’ or ‘Do not cross the threshold before you are named thrice from within’, and it all goes wrong if you don’t do the thing; but why make it more complicated? See you in three days.”

She made her way back across the meadow, turning to wave before she vanished into the trees.

“I was hoping for a more exiting exit,” remarked Tris. “I mean, her turning into a flock of birds and flying away or something.”

Dina frowned at the trees. “I'm not actually sure we should have agreed to all that.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said Tris, “I wonder if... when someone comes to you to try and talk things out reasonably, maybe you should give them the benefit of the doubt. At least the first time." She stretched her long arms and rolled her shoulders consideringly. "I don’t like the thought of just leaving those people imprisoned, even for three days. But she’s obviously a powerful enemy. Polite though. And, you know, it would be nice, just for once, to get through one of these things without having to threaten anyone or kill them or... or run about all over the place! Don’t you think so?”

Dinadan grimaced as she pulled her sword out from where it now stuck out among the reeds. “I do. Alright, let’s try polite discourse just this once and see what happens.” She wiped the blade on her cloak and then sheathed it. “So, camp in the woods, or the fisherman? I vote for the fisherman.”

“Me too,” said Tristram, and they saddled their horses and crossed the stream, heading east.

[cyarskaren52]

The History You Never Knew About The Hip Hop Hits You Love

Source: Christopher Polk / Getty

Origin Info For Your Favorite Hip-Hop Hits Of Today

There’s an old saying “There’s nothing new under the sun”, which we often write off as a figure of speech. However, when you recognize something you’re almost certain you’ve seen or heard before, there’s comfort in that familiarity.

While we appreciate the creativity that drives art to influence culture, we also honor the classics and originals that inspire trends today.

Many of the most popular hip-hop tracks on the charts today use samples from old records. According to Tunecore, “Sampling” is best described as reusing a specific portion of another’s sound recording.

Source: Matt Winkelmeyer / Getty

Creepin’ – Metroboomin, 21 Savage, The Weeknd

In 2004, Mario Winans serenaded the masses with a twisted exclamation to his lover, “I Don’t Wanna Know”.

Source: Raymond Boyd / Getty

In the song, Winans pleads to his lady to keep her dirt secret. The smash, which spent eight weeks on the Billboard Hot 100 in February of 2004, was a sample of The Fugees “Ready Or Not”.

Source: Mitchell Gerber / Getty

Even further, The Fugees sampled the 1987 record “Bodaecia” by Irish singer Enya, who is also listed on the credits. Today, The Weeknd and 21 Savage teamed up with Atlanta hitmaker Metroboomin for a modern remake of the song.

Source: Raymond Boyd / Getty

Source: Mitchell Gerber / Getty

Source: Aaron J. Thornton / Getty

Players – Coi Leray

Coi Leray gave us yet another TikTok sensation with her 2022 song “Players”. What you may not have noticed is the sample of Grandmaster Flash and The Furious Five’s “The Message”. Coi’s record was released as the 1982 terminal hit turned 40.

Grandmaster Flash and Leray actually met for a celebratory dinner where Flash blessed the record and Coi’s hard work!

“When I got a call saying this girl wanted to resurrect the beat of a song from my past – I wanted to learn more,” Flash said in a second post. “Then when I spoke with & met @coileray, I TOTALLY got it. Go listen to PLAYERS by Coi Leray now ⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️Next time I might sport the hoodie”

Source: Joseph Okpako / Getty

Doja – Central Cee

UK breakout artist Central Cee is another artist with a knack for making viral hits. One of his most notable 2022 records – “Doja” –  is derived from a sample of Eve & Gwen Stefani’s 2001 hit “Blow Ya Mind”. You may have heard the often-recited lyrics of “Doja”, “How can I be homophobic? My b—- is gay.” However, you may not have been privy to the fact Eve personally signed off on the Euro Hip Hop track calling it “everything”.

On BBC’s 1EXTRA RAP SHOW, the Ruff Ryder’s First Lady explained the rizz that made her instantly approve the sample.

First of all, knowing and living in London, his name’s already been ringing and I liked him. I was like, ‘Yo, he’s a dope artist.’ And then we got the song and I was like, ‘This song is everything!’”

Source: Jerritt Clark / Getty

P Power – Gunna featuring Drake

Source: United Archives / Getty

The song samples Donna Summer’s 1976 disco classic “Could It Be Magic”. However, the track was noticeably absent from Gunna’s album, “DS4Ever”, when it dropped on January 7, 2022. In an interview with Complex, Gunna reveals that the song was delayed over clearance issues.

“I originally sampled Donna Summer,” Gunna said. “I don’t even know her, because I’m so young. But she was a legend and her estate couldn’t get back in time for my album.”

Source: Prince Williams / Getty

Good Love – Usher, City Girls

If you’ve been out to basically any gathering or event this summer, you’ve probably heard “Good Love” featuring the City Girls. This feel-good dance jam has made waves from social media to the skating rink to family cookouts.

The familiar bump in the bass and repetitive rhythm takes us back to the ’90s and ’00s when denim cut-off shorts and gold door knocker hoops were in their prime. If you (or a mom, grandma, or auntie) attended a Freaknik festival, you may have heard the track before. “Good Love” samples a dance classic – “Freak It” by Lathun.

The 1997 SOSO Def hit is often accompanied by a line dance, perfect for the dance floor. The song quickly became a cultural shift point in Atlanta, bringing communities together through laughter and bounce.

Which song do you think did the best remake?

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[somedaytakethetime]

Continuing on with my re-writing of the Old Testament this is just a joke on the fact that I can't write short things today's edition: Inspiration Images! (part 1 of lord knows how many..)

So.. I've amassed quite a lot of inspiration images and I'm using all these writings as sort of an organisation list for what I want to (re)create for my own wardrobe. The focus today? Knitwear!

Let's start with the fancy stuff. My plan, because of my own levels of comfort, is looser fit sweaters for daily wear but I still want to have a few tight fitted "fancy" sweaters for formal things. I like to dress up for Christmas and New Year's Eve, but I'm a bitch that runs cold and because of that my plans for "fancy silky black dress or fancy silky black pants" needs to have something warm and cosy on top of it that still looks like part of the outfit.

(links: image 1, image 2)

(links: image 3, image 4, image 5 ) (side note: don't you just love how terrible old photos look in terms of quality now?)

As with everything that I've saved and will amass here: I'm not making all of these, only one or two, possibly three fancy things, but I'm undecide. Whichever I pick would be knit with long sleeves of course. And the colours I'm thinking are navy blue, black and possibly cream and off-white. Those seem well suited for the holiday seasons and they would match the idealised versions of fancy outfits in my head (black and champagne silky slinky fabrics). The bows and details I would likely do in neutral tones too that would contrast with the main colour of the body. Granted I might use fancy yarn with glitter thread running through it or something, just for a touch of whimsy and because.. I LIKE SPARKLES OKAY!?

Anyway, fancy out and basics in. Currently I own no basic coloured yarn. I have many colours, usually either bright or jewel tones, and I would need to add some creams and beiges along with actual dark neutrals to the stash. I'm not sure I'm going to use all the yarn I have either, most of it has been given to me by others and I'm just.. not into those colours... I might give them to someone else because I just don't want to spend so many hours of my life working on clothes that I have no urge to wear. But that's another problem for another time.

For the casual day wear I have some designs in mind:

(links: image 6, image 7, image 8)

(links: image 9, image 10)

(links: image 11, image 12 I have a massive crush on this blonde lady that poses for the Drops designs but shhh don't tell nobody, image 13)

(links: image 14, image 15, image 16)

Number 16 is my inspiration for this old rose sweater I'm currently working on. Number 14 I'm thinking of making in a bright cobalt blue I have and number 15 in bright green my mum has saved for decades now. Why? Those colours will definitely look better as a simple slouchy sweater. It's impossible to make them stripped because no other colour will downplay how BRIGHT they are so.. I just need to lean into being a Sesame Street Muppet.. I have plans for basic sweaters in muted shades, and a few slipovers too, granted this is where we get into my goal of knitting loungewear. I have a few ideas which will be interesting to achieve because I've never knit trousers or shorts before... but I need comfortable house clothes too.

In all what we're looking at currently is: more beige less neon (I'm going to end up either as the sad beige aunt or the moody navy aunt at the end.. it'll be a riot for my family to witness this metamorphosis from circus clown on LSD to depressed almond allergic to gluten..). More simple baggy shapes, less tight fitted things in weird stitches.

As for cardigans. Realistically? I don't need a ton. I wear them most in the winter, and I've learned they can't be tight fitted. I won't wear them if I can't wear everal layers underneath and while I love the 'cardigan as a top, tiddies easy and breezy' look I wouldn't torture myself like that in the winter.. I like my nipples were they are, they don't need to fall off... And with that in mind, here's what I'm looking at:

(links: image 17, image 18, image 19, image 20, image 21)

I'm thinking duality of making some in cotton for summer and others in wool. I get cold in the summer too so I need at least one cardigan to wear during those moments and wool? Not it. I don't wear my cardigans buttoned, I've learned that too, so in the past when I hated low v-necks? That's gone now because I prefer the look on an unbuttoned deep v-neck vs a high scoop or rounded neck. There's also these three.. I'll just link those (link 1, link 2, link 3) because in total honesty I'm not sure if I'll add these to the 'make' list or not. Link 1 and link 3 are colourwork cardigans and with 3? It's honestly just because I like her outfit and realistically how often will I wear an exact outfit like that? I can't even wear that bright white... and link 2 is a crochet cardigan. Now, I crochet so I won't ever rag on crocheted clothing, I have two crochet sweaters, but they took *ages* to make and they ate up so much yarn.. I'm just not a fan of how slow crocheting clothing is. It still looks super cute, but I just get bored quickly.

Now for my final act I've been thinking about summer too. It's too late to actually knit anything for summer now, but I want to make a few tops in cotton that I'll be able to wear during the summer. Only this year did I start wearing sleeveless and very short sleeved tops (I hate my arms, they're flabby and I have weird spots on my shoulders, not even to mention that I have a birthmark that's literally blue so it looks like a permanent bruise on my left shoulder..) and there's so many cute ones out there but I can't make everything so... narrowing down to:

(links: image 22, image 23, image 24, image 25, image 26, image 27)

I figured that number 23 I can make in a few solid colours, and maybe one or two stripped too so I don't need a ton of other designs besides that basic one. The same applies to the rest. I still need to figure out exactly how many knit summer tops I would realistically like and wear which is honestly the hardest part of all....

But for now that's it. I have so many other images and plenty of other things I need to reconsider either I'd actually make or not but I'll break that into other categories soon because it makes it easier in my brain. Next up, I'm thinking that looking at colourwork and add-ons is needed. I don't need all the beanies, scarves and mittens in the world given that I don't wear a ton of them. Plus.. socks. That I do need to make, I'm trying to make a switch to a me-made wardrobe so socks? Always a necessity. But maybe *neutral* socks now, Sunny, instead of all the neon oranges and blues you've made in the past, yeah?