#the once every two months i decide to check snapchat stories.

[starswallowingsea]

old roommates filled their bathtub with plastic ball pit balls. very glad i moved out

[lacheri]

follow me

I do not consent or allow this to be posted on Tik Tok, or any other social media

pairing: switch!Eren and switch!fem bodied reader

content: college au, OnlyFans/sex work, masturbation (m), praise kink, oral (f and m receiving), squirting, penetrative sex, drug and alcohol use, classic college party, Eren is down horrendously bad, I believe in long haired Eren supremacy, minors DNI

summary: when jean finally convinces eren to crawl out from under his rock to join society on instagram, he finds there’s a whole lot more than just pictures of food. there’s you.

wc: 15.4k (I know it’s a long one, hope you enjoy tho)

Eren Jaeger had recently found himself in a very, very deep hole. It all started innocently, when one of his best friends Jean had convinced Eren to crawl out of his hole and create an Instagram to join society.

“C’mon Eren,” Jean had teased over a week ago as they studied out on the lawn of their school. “You have no idea what you’re missing out on. No one even uses Facebook anymore, it’s all for moms who want to brag about little Timmy’s genius for figuring out one plus one equals two.”

“What do you even do on Instagram?” Eren’s brows knitted together in confusion, Jean whipping his phone out to show Eren exactly how to use it.

“You post pictures,” Jean navigated to his profile, tapping and sliding down to show Eren all of Jean’s shameless selfies.

“Of just yourself?” he breathed, not comprehending the appeal at all. Don’t people look at his face enough?

“Well, you can post anything you want, that’s the beauty of it. Plus, when you’re not doing that, you get to see and like other people’s pictures.”

“But it says here you follow, 1,536 accounts? And you have 5,000 following you back?” Eren asked incredulously, surprised about how popular his friend’s online persona was. “How do you even know that many people?”

“You don’t,” Jean shrugged, making a few taps to his home page as posts began to load up. “Celebrities have Instagram, our friends have Instagram, fuck, every attractive person on the entire planet has one.”

“How do you even find these people?” Eren’s questioning never seemed to end, the concept out of his comprehension. Facebook was one thing, he personally knew every single one of his friends and family there, and honestly he really enjoyed people just talking about their day to day ordeals.

That’s when Jean forced Eren to hand his phone over and download the app. Jean snapped a quick picture of Eren, to which Eren had no reaction time to. Before he could protest, Jean had already uploaded the candid with some random song lyrics as the caption. To be honest with himself, Eren had to admit that Jean had taken a very flattering picture. He had his knee brought to his chest while his arm dangled over, back slumped and relaxed while he sat on the blanket they had set down before lounging there, hair in his signature sloppy man bun. It was mid day, so all the shadows casted behind his body as the sun’s rays illuminated every high point and contrast of his stoic face.

After a few follow backs from his friends, Armin and Mikasa, he had accumulated a few dozen likes, and Eren couldn’t help the feelings of instant gratifications wash over him, “Okay? So, now what?”

“Now,” Jean began to instruct him, putting the phone back in Eren’s hands after showing him the basics of social media. “Go to my page, and start following whoever you want from my following list. There’s some really hot girls.”

And when Eren laid in his dorm bed that night by himself, he did just that. He really didn’t want to give Jean the satisfaction of showing him who he followed, or why he decided to. His finger scrolled and scrolled through the following list on Jean’s Instagram, hitting the follow button on a few bands he really enjoyed. But then, his hand stopped at one username in particular. The avatar showed a pretty girl, smiling brightly into the camera, sun’s golden rays blooming behind her hair.

Eren tapped on the username, and the first thing he took note of was the bio. ‘Connoisseur of mimosas and rock and roll’, he had to smirk at that, what a simple sentence to sum yourself up with. His eyes flickered to the link in her bio, titled, OnlyFans. He titled his head, Jean hadn’t mentioned what OnlyFans was? Did everyone have an OnlyFans too, like Instagram? He tapped on the highlighted link to be met with a page of prices. What the fuck was so exclusive about it that he had to pay ten dollars for a single picture? As he scrolled down a bit more, he noticed the pricing rising to the final payment cost.

“200 dollars for a personal Snapchat and to talk to me every day?” he read aloud, mouth open in disgust. “What the fuck is this?”

He hit the done option in the upper left corner, returning to the Instagram page in question. He tapped on the first photo, the girl’s back facing the camera, completely bare as her hair trickled down the center. She was sitting in a pretty pink bath, floating flowers all around, staring out a window, captioned, ‘wishing you were here’. His gaze lingered on the dips of her waist, before scrolling down to see the girl in some more clothing. This one was a much prettier picture, glasses set on the brim of her nose while she sat comfortably at a wooden table in a library. She stared directly into the camera, a pretty smile on her face while her hands sat perched under her chin. Some books were open on the table, and Eren took note of the quilted skirt peeking out from the under the bottom, her knees tightly crossed. ‘finals week is going to be the death of me, thank the universe for coffee’.

Eren back tracked out of the photo after double tapping, trying to drink in a comprehensive idea of what exactly people were paying so much money to see. He scrolled, and landed on his answer. The girl sat on a stool, phone angled in the mirror to take in her frame, wearing nothing but black lingerie and heels with a smirk on her face, the caption simply, ‘follow me on OnlyFans, link in bio’.

‘Hey Jean, what’s OnlyFans?’ Eren typed a quick text to his now mentor, patiently waiting as three bubbles appeared from his friend’s end.

‘Lol I see what you’re using Instagram for now, Jaeger’, was Jean’s only reply, and Eren could feel himself getting frustrated. Before he could type back an angry text, those bubbles popped up once again. ‘It’s basically porn, you pay for people’s pictures and videos’.

‘Why would someone want to do that? It’s free almost everywhere else’.

‘Because, young grasshopper, girls are hot and I’m trynna see some titties’.

Eren rolled his eyes at his friend’s stupidity. Deducing that Jean was obviously one of these paying customers, Eren felt a little more secure in himself as he tapped the follow button on the girl’s page. What he wasn’t expecting though was a notification informing him she had followed back, followed quickly by another one liking his only post. Eren couldn’t hold back a blush, heart thumping in his chest. Did this girl think he was good looking?

The thought didn’t sit for long as yet another notification popped up, this time a comment. The girl had simply put a heart eyed emoji, followed by a fire emoji. Eren retreated in haste back to her profile, analyzing every picture and caption.

That had been a month ago, and now Eren had a full blown addiction to the website, more specifically her Instagram. Eren was even paying for her OnlyFans now, making excuses that the money he spent would be used for coffees and lunches anyhow, and he really had to nip his caffeine addiction in the butt so he might as well spend his cash on her.

She had just posted a photoset, one of many on her page, completely naked aside from a gold necklace adorned on her neck, a simple initial of ‘E’ rested prettily on her collarbone. It was like she knew Eren was devouring her social medias on a daily basis. It was all for him, Eren had concluded. There was no coincidence that she had followed and liked his own page, it was all fate and meant to be. Eren had figured out how to DM someone, thanks to Jean showing him how to during one of their classes, and he had taken full advantage of the girl’s inbox. Unfortunately with no reply or read receipt to even prove she had received his messages, introducing himself and showering the girl with compliments. Oh, Eren was down bad. He even brought himself to pay out the $50 tier on her OnlyFans for the month, tired of entering his card information for every daily post.

His dick twitched hard as he drank in her form, curvaceous and beautiful and feminine. It wasn’t even like he just wanted to fuck her either, if he needed relief like that he’d just hit up one of the handful of girls he had saved in his contacts. Eren Jaeger wanted to take this girl out on a fucking date. They had so much in common, they were practically soulmates. She liked and followed all the same bands Eren did, posted on her stories all about her favorite foods and her zodiac sign. While he didn’t really believe in that shit, his Google search history of checking if Aries was compatible spoke to something completely different.

And then Eren began noticing something. How the library she frequently posted pictures in was the same library on campus. All the restaurants she went to were in an hour radius of him, half of them being his usual hangout spots. She lived locally, which thoroughly surprised him. Had he seen her around before? No, definitely not, he would’ve definitely remembered her pretty face. None of the girls that he knew looked like her, and if Eren didn’t know what a woman’s body felt like, he would’ve sworn her body was made of plastic.

Eren was practically an expert at Instagram now, and had plenty of opportunities to follow other beautiful women, but he chose not to. He felt guilty one night as he maneuvered through another pretty girl’s pictures, quickly retreating back to the comfort of his favorite girl’s instead. This was one of the reasons Eren had fought getting online for so long, whenever he found something he liked, he got obsessive.

His attention was drawn back to her naked photos, and he slipped his hand under the fabric of his sweatpants as he began to fuck his fist to her pretty image. All for him, he panted as he imagined what she would look like in front of him, beautiful and begging for his touch.

“Thank you so much,” you smiled graciously at the Starbucks employee in front of you, taking your large iced coffee from his hands.

“No problem, have a great day!”

You tossed your hair behind your shoulder as you turned around, the smile still vibrant on your face. Today was a good day, you decided almost as soon as you woke up. After studying for finals for nearly two weeks straight, you finally had a day off to enjoy yourself. Your best friend, Sasha, had convinced you to go on a small shopping day with her. You eagerly agreed that morning, toothbrush forgotten in between your teeth as your fingers rapidly tapped away to schedule a time. You were running out of sexy outfits for your OnlyFans content, and frankly, you really need some new summer clothes. Spring was drawing to a close, and you couldn’t just wear hoodies and leggings all year round, no matter how much you wanted to.

The mall was about two blocks away from the Starbucks, and as you chugged down your coffee, you slid your phone out of your back pocket of your jeans to see multiple notifications from Instagram. Just more people liking your posts, and some DMs, but you just rolled your eyes. You got tired of explaining on your stories that they were broken, and Instagram had no intent on trying to adjust it so you’d be able to view your messages and reply. You sighed, slipping it back into your pocket as you made your way through the entrance of the shopping mall.

Sasha was seated at a table in the cafeteria near the entrance you had just walked through. She jumped out of her seat, a wide smile on her lips as she strutted up to your form.

“You ate without me?” you pouted, smelling the leftover scent of pizza wash over you.

“Yeah, but don’t worry, I’m still hungry,” Sasha waved her hand. This girl had the fastest metabolism of a person you had ever met, so her statement didn’t really phase you.

“Okay, so, before I spend all my money and forget, we have to go to the lingerie shop,” you stated, stomping your way to the escalators.

“I’m guessing your OnlyFans is doing good?” she asked, knowing just how expensive this certain store was as she lingered behind you.

“Dude, you literally wouldn’t believe it,” you sighed dreamily. “If I had known how much money I’d be making, I would’ve done it way sooner. You should seriously consider making your own.”

“Nah, I’ll just let you have the spotlight on this one,” she snickered as the both of you stepped on the moving staircase. “Are they all creepy old men?”

“No, surprisingly, there’s a few people I have classes with that follow me,” you gossiped. “You know Jean from economics?”

Sasha nodded, eyes widening, “No fucking way, he’s my friend! I’m not that surprised though, he’s always talking to girls and asking for their Instagrams.”

“He’s never even talked to me, right? But he buys every single post I put out! Which is crazy, considering it’d just be cheaper for him to buy the subscription,” you shrugged, stepping off the escalator and walking shortly afterwards into the lingerie store. “That’s what most my viewers do, anyways.”

“Seen anyone else interesting?” Sasha hummed, eyeing the various garments surrounding her in intrigue.

Your eyes honed in on a strappy bright red one piece, “Just a few of his friends, I think. One of them is pretty cute, actually, but he’s only got one picture up.”

“You talking about Eren?”

You nodded, eyes lighting up, “Yeah, do you know him? I’ve never seen him around campus before.”

Sasha was beginning to plot, “Yeah he usually hangs out with Armin and Mikasa, but he goes to a lot of house parties. You know, actually, I think Jean is throwing one soon. He rented a cabin for after finals, you should come!”

“Won’t that be weird?” you scrunched your face, picking up the red one piece and moving onto the next garment that caught your eye. “Like I said, I’ve never even talked to him.”

“Yeah but you know Mikasa and me,” she raised her thumb towards herself. “Eren will be there too.”

“All I said was that I thought he was cute, Sasha,” you laughed her off. “But I’ll think about it. Text me the details and I’ll let you know if I’m free.”

“Something tells me Jean would be very happy to see you there,” Sasha chuckled, you giggling in response to her suggestive comment. The two of you picked through the selection of skimpy clothing, taking it up the cashier to check out.

You walked out of the store together, giggling over small banter. Your trip to the mall was quick after that, and in the end you held a grip full of medium sized paper bags, walking outside the mall with Sasha.

“Oh, hey!” Sasha suddenly quipped, placing her bags on the sidewalk, pulling her phone out of her crossbody bag. “We should take a picture!”

“Sasha I’m not even wearing lipstick,” you half heartedly complained, getting ready to pose next to your best friend.

“Literally, you’re so fucking hot,” she deadpanned, turning her head to look you directly in the eyes. “Shut up and get in, bitch.”

You threw your head back in laughter, leaning in on the left side of her frame, pushing your hair framing your face behind your ear. You smiled widely while Sasha did the same, hearing a soft click of her phone, indicating the photo was taken. Your phone vibrated in your pocket, bringing it out to see a notification stating she had posted it to her story. You’d repost it to your story later after you grabbed food, you decided, the conversation turning to the topic of where the two of you would eat before heading back to your apartment to get drunk in celebration of your semesters ending.

Eren and his two friends sat crowded in Jean’s dorm room bathroom, passing around a blunt. He could hear Connie coughing harshly as it was passed to Eren, the boy taking a deep drag of the backwoods cigarillo. Exhaling slowly, Eren brought his phone out of his hoodie pocket to open it up to change the song playing, his phone instantly opening to Instagram.

Distracted now by his favorite obsession, he glanced at the stories section, her name front in the line, glowing in that now familiar pink and purple circle. Eren couldn’t have tapped faster, and when he did, his mouth hung open.

“Yo,” Eren spoke loudly, shoving his phone in Jean and Connie’s faces. “Sasha knows this girl?”

“Yeah, they’re like best friends,” Connie quirked an eyebrow. “You don’t know her?”

“No, I just saw we had mutual friends,” Eren’s eyebrows knitted together. “How come we’ve never hung out with her before?”

“I don’t know actually,” Jean said, exhaling the blunt after it was passed to him from Eren’s fingertips. “I had a class with her this semester, she seems nice.”

“You’re only saying that because she’s hot,” Connie chuckled. “I bet you’ve never even talked to the girl.”

Jean’s face ignited in a fierce blush as he found interest in the ceiling tiles, “Shut up. It’s harder to talk to girls than it looks. You should know that, Connie.”

“Hey! I talk to girls!” Connie leaned up from his seated position on the floor.

“Idiots,” Eren sighed, rolling his eyes. “Neither of you have any game.”

“Not all of us are as gifted as you are, Eren,” Connie protested, a smirk spreading across his lips. “You could talk to a fucking mouse and it’d figure out someway to talk back.”

Eren rolled his eyes again, harder this time, “You just talk to girls like they’re human beings, it’s not that fucking hard.”

“Oh yeah? Betcha’ won’t be saying that whenever you see that girl around,” Jean teased, finally passing the blunt to Connie in the rotation, Connie muttering something about hogging it.

Eren shifted uncomfortably on the closed toilet seat, “Whatever, Jean.”

“Speak of the fucking devil!” Jean shouted, scaring the very high pair of boys at the suddenness. “Sasha just texted me asking if she can bring her this weekend to the cabin!”

Eren’s heart erupted into a flutter of uneven beats, his face heating up. This girl he had been drooling over was going to be at a party, with him? He suddenly felt like a teenager, the idea of seeing his precious addiction face to face giving him full blown anxiety.

Soft thuds of the bass of the stereo filled the room, catchy pop music drawing Eren out of his stupor to gaze hastily around the room, searching.

“What’s up with you tonight?” Armin had asked him, drawing his attention away once again. “It’s been an hour since the party started and you’ve barely drunk anything.”

Taking note of the full red solo cup in his hand, flickering his gaze between the liquid and his best friend, Eren shrugged and tipped the rim back in his lips, opening his throat and taking large gulps until the cup was empty. “Happy?”

Armin laughed loudly, although only having two strong drinks, his best friend was beginning to feel the numbness of intoxication, “You’re really out of it tonight, everything alright?”

“Yeah I’m fine, just waiting for the smoke sesh so I’m not cross faded,” Eren smirked, lying easily. “Last time I got too drunk and decided to rip Jean’s bong, I woke up in some random front yard with one shoe on.”

Armin shook his head in disbelief, “You really need to start making better life choices, Eren.”

Eren shook the empty solo cup in front of his friend, “I’m trying here.”

Truthfully, the reason Eren wasn’t halfway to getting shit faced was because he didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of the girl of his dreams. She still hadn’t shown up yet, and Eren was getting anxious that she wasn’t going to show. Sasha and Mikasa hadn’t shown up yet either, which gave him a resemblance of hope that the three of you were together, and on your way currently to the party. His heart thudded heavily in his ribcage as he heard the jingle of the front door turn, and his attention was fully concentrated on the door frame ahead of him. His jaw dropped at the sight, his breath caught in his throat.

You asked Sasha earlier that day what you should wear to the party, and Sasha had just waved and told you whatever you felt looked the best. Not exactly helpful, you had just decided on black ripped jeans and a low cut shirt, paired with your favorite leather jacket and trusty Vans. You felt incredibly undressed as Sasha drove to Mikasa’s house, watching her modelesque frame saunter out her front door towards the back car doors.

“Mikasa, you could make a paper bag look hot,” you showered her with appreciation, her face blushing in response as she tugged her long sleeved body con dress towards her knees. “Fuck, should I have worn a dress? How nice is everyone else dressed?”

Sasha couldn’t have given two fucks about how she dressed in front of her friends, adorned in blue skinny jeans and a causal crop top, although her face was beat to the Gods, “Shut the fuck up, you’re one to talk about making paper bags look good. Besides, knowing the boys they probably made minimal effort, probably all wearing sweatpants.”

The three of you snickered at this, and Sasha pushed the car into drive and set out on your 45 minute journey into the mountains. Nerves hadn’t set in until you were face to face with the cabin door, nervous that the girls’ friends weren’t going to like you. Putting a brave face on, Mikasa grasped the door knob and pushed it open, the three of you gliding in.

Eren honestly had wanted to drop down to his knees and kiss the ground you walked on. You were the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. Your eyes were searching, for what neither of you knew, until your eyes had finally landed on him. You smiled politely, moving your hand up in a quick wave to both him and Armin.

Eren couldn’t fathom moving any single part of his body, so awestruck by you. Jean shook Eren out of his dumbstricken state with a hard pat to his shoulder, “Why don’t you go introduce yourself, Eren?”

“Fuck off, horse face,” Eren spat, trying to will himself to either make strides towards you or to break his gaze, neither working. “Why don’t you?”

“I’d love to,” he smiled wickedly, inspired by liquid courage to lock arms with Eren and force him closer to the trio of girls that had finally made their appearance. Armin followed behind, Connie emerging out of the bathroom to give his hello’s to his best friend Sasha and company.

Eren could hear his heart beat in his ears as he stopped right in front of you, forcing his mouth closed in a tight lipped grimace. He felt like a fucking teenager with a crush.

“Hi,” you introduced yourself, smiling widely. “It’s so nice to finally meet you guys!”

“Nice to meet you too!” Armin spoke up, oblivious to his friends’ reaction to the fresh pretty face of yours.

Jean and Connie wouldn’t admit it, but they were feeling their own nervousness. Jean’s out of guilt as he scanned your body top to bottom, Connie’s natural shyness kicking in due to the newcomer. Both were able to overcome it though, and offer up their own introductions. Your eyes landed on Eren once again, tilting your head, waiting for his intro.

“I’m Eren,” he swallowed. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” you looked down, smiling softly. You raised your hand then, looking up at the boys in front of you, revealing a handle of vodka. “I brought a gift with me too!”

“My kinda girl!” Jean spoke just a bit too enthusiastically. “Shots, shots, shots!”

Connie pumped his fist, chiming in, the rest of the party joining as well as the crowd made their way into the kitchen. Eren purposely hung back, trying to keep as close to you as possible.

“You happen to bring any chasers with you?” he had leaned in, tickling the side of your head with his breath.

“No, I totally forgot,” you sheepishly admitted.

“Looks like we’re all gonna get plastered then,” he chuckled smoothly, sending goosebumps down your body.

“Is it really a party then if at least one person doesn’t have their head in a toilet?” you had easily quipped back, feeling more comfortable now that the introductions were out of the way.

Eren hummed in half hearted agreement, feeling slightly more relaxed himself. Besides, his attention was being grasped by the plastic shot glass being shoved in his hand, as well as your dainty one. The group held up the shot glasses, a few phone cameras capturing the moment to post on their stories, and you all swung your heads back to allow the bitter liquid to trickle down your throats. Eren made a mild face, taking a stolen glance at your own to see your grimace, sticking your tongue out in disbelief at the taste.

Another hour had passed by, and Eren was running out of reasons to follow you around the cabin as you shifted between conversations to get to know the group of friends better. You hadn’t really noticed him trailing behind you, nor did you really care because you were very quickly warming up to Eren. It also didn’t hurt that he looked exceptionally better in person. His hair was lazily swung into a half top bun, wearing a couple of gold chains with his white tee tightly hugging his torso, tucked seamlessly into black ripped jeans displaying his muscular knee caps. Eren was definitely a looker, you shifted your gaze up to his face as he made some witty comment to Sasha, his eyes flickering to your face to catch your reaction.

“Oh my god, there was this one time,” Sasha spoke your name. “She had gotten so high during last year’s spring break, and the two of us and Mikasa came up with the brilliant idea of becoming one with nature. So, naturally, we ran to Walmart and bought this tent on clearance. Turns out it was made for kids, so none of us actually fit inside when we got back to Mikasa’s house. Mikasa and I curled up in a ball, surrounded by snacks, and this smart girl over here decided it was the best choice to just lay out on the lawn and pass out.”

“I wanted to watch the sun rise!” you laughed, trying to quickly explain yourself to Eren’s amused smirk. “And the grass was just so nice that night!”

“The grass was basically straw,” Sasha countered teasingly. “Twenty degrees outside, absolutely freezing. She was MIA for like a week afterwards with a cold.”

You shrugged carelessly, “Worth it.”

Now the two of you had sleeping on lawns in common? Eren scoffed inwardly. Yup, it was official, you were his soulmate. Still though, the topic of why you were so casual in person while your naked pictures existed online tickled his thoughts. He was hoping that somehow it’d get brought up naturally in conversation, saving himself the embarrassment if you were to get offended by his questioning. So far it seemed you liked him, not having said a word about him trailing after you like a lost puppy. Jean had been sending him knowing looks all night, Connie shooting two thumbs up at Eren while Armin looked on in confusion.

Mikasa had strolled out of the bathroom finally, joining the trio who stood casually in the living room, simply stating, “I’m starving. You guys think they deliver pizza out here?”

Sasha’s eyes widened in excitement, “I don’t care if it takes an hour to get here. We’re ordering right now.”

Already ahead of the two, your phone was pulled out in your hands to open up the Dominoes app, punching in the location of the party and placing the order online. Eren watched this all, peering over your hands to see the total.

“Guys, we should chip in,” Eren called out, grabbing the boys’ attention. “We’re ordering pizza.”

“No, no!” you protested, confirming the order. “It’s really fine, my treat.”

“But that’s really expensive,” he frowned, the group all joined together in the living room.

“Don’t worry, she’s got that OnlyFans money,” Sasha waved off Eren’s concern.

“OnlyFans?” Armin questioned, darting his eyes in between Sasha and you. “What’s that?”

Jean hid his blushing cheeks and your eyes flickered to him, then back to Armin, “I sell naked pictures online.”

“So what, a bunch of old guys give you money?” Armin had asked innocently, not judgemental in the slightest.

You giggled, relieved he wasn’t asking in a demeaning manner, “Actually, you’d be really surprised about who you know follows me. There’s a lot of people from school.”

Eren’s blood ran cold as he felt a sudden onset of embarrassment. Did that mean you had known this entire time Eren was one of these followers? If you did, you didn’t let on to it, smiling shyly as the questions ended. Eren hadn’t been done with the conversation, but pride from exposing himself in front of his friends kept his mouth shut.

It was around one in the morning when the party was at its peak. Sasha was being held up by her legs by Connie as she did a keg stand, you and the group cheering the girl on in your own drunken hazes. She tapped the large can, indicating she was finished, Connie settling her down on solid ground as she belched loudly.

“That was fucking awesome, Sasha!” you giggled, throwing your arms up and around her. You were definitely feeling the shots you had been feeding yourself all night, holding your red solo cup high above the girl so it wouldn’t slosh on her.

“You should totally try it!” she encouraged devilishly.

You pouted then, taking a moment to consider, “I’ve never done a keg stand before, what if I can’t do it?”

“I’ll help you!” Eren all but pounced on the opportunity, your smile turning into a tipsy giggle. “It’s not that hard, you just keep chugging until you can’t anymore. I’ll hold you, you got this.”

You lightly blushed, nodding your head at the encouragement, bringing a fist to your chest as a salute, “I’ll do it! We gotta’ put on a cool song though, if I’m going to fail miserably I might as well have a good song to do it to.”

Mikasa volunteered, as she was already DJ, having the best music taste out of everyone in the group. She dug her phone out of her pocket, switching over to a ‘Pursuit of Happiness’ remix. Connie whooped at the choice, and everyone began to chant your name as you hovered by the keg, very nervous. Eren then placed his large hand on the small of your back, leaning in to reassure you once again. You gulped, nodding that you were ready to get into position.

“Okay, so you’re going to lean your arms on the top of the can, and I’ll grab your legs. Like when you were a kid and you’d do that stupid wheelbarrel thing,” Eren easily explained, chuckling lightly. “Use your hands to let me know when you’re done.”

You did as you were told, resting your upper body against the keg as Eren hooked his arms around your calves. He couldn’t help but admire how strong your legs felt in his grasp, and how right it felt to finally have some bodily contact. He had been trying to figure out a natural way all night, and he was bubbling over in excitement, the chance had arisen, glorious in the promise of touch.

You placed your lips hesitantly around the tap, opening it up into your mouth, and began to chug. ‘Chug, chug, chug!’ was chanted all around you, even Mikasa joining in on the fun. Fists bumped in the air, and you felt like the coolest fucking person in the world. Doing a keg stand wasn’t exactly in your goals list, but fuck did it feel like it should’ve been as your ego inflated.

“That’s it, you’re doing great!” Eren’s thumbs brushed the inside of your knees, leaning in to whisper. “Good girl.”

You sputtered around the tap, choking harshly. You removed your mouth quickly to gasp for air, and the tap shot up all over your shirt, jacket long forgotten resting on the sofa in the living room. Eren moved your legs down to the floor quickly seeing this, and wrapped his arm around your waist to steady you as your arm shot out to grab onto something, in this case his other arm.

“You alright?” Jean asked, a look of concern washing over his features as you finally got some air into your lungs.

“Yeah,” you coughed again, blushing in embarrassment. “I definitely made a mess though.”

“I brought some extra clothes with me,” Eren offered quickly. “One of these idiots always manages to somehow spill something within the first hour of drinking. I’ll show you where my bag is at.”

You smiled in appreciation, biting your tongue to accuse him of purposely throwing you off your game with his little praise that had your knees buckling. He unwound his arm, taking your hand and leading you to the staircase by the entryway, your smaller form following behind him as he thudded up the stairs. Three doors greeted you at the top, and he led you into the master bedroom, plainly decorated and lacking personal belongings. You watched as he chucked a duffle bag onto the mattress, unzipping it and going through his clothes. He found a sweatshirt, smirking inwardly as it had been one of his old sports ones with his last name embroidered on the back. Proud he could provide a claim to you, he extended it to you, and you gladly accepted it.

“Well, you did really well in the beginning there,” he chuckled, whisking his stray baby hairs behind his ear. “Sucks about the shirt though. The first time I tried to do a keg stand, I barfed everywhere.”

You laughed lightly, fingering the hem of your shirt, “I guess it could’ve been a lot worse. Still, at least I can check this off my bucket list.”

Eren’s eyebrows shot into his hairline as you lifted your shirt to reveal your bare stomach, and he whisked his body completely around so you didn’t see his reddened cheeks, “You could’ve asked me to leave.”

Behind him, you let a mischievous smirk cross your lips, “Nothing you haven’t seen before.”

Eren’s mouth fell open at your bold statement, letting his words leave before he could stop them, “You know?”

“Of course,” you discarded the sodden shirt to the floor, sitting on the bed instead of tossing the sweatshirt on. “You’re my favorite viewer.”

He caught your movement in the corner of his eye, and he turned his head to take in the sight. Fuck, you were even more beautiful in person. Your bra was white and pretty and dainty, pushing your tits together, accentuating cleavage that Eren wanted to bury his face in. His gaze moved up to your face, smiling so innocently at him as he let out a dark chuckle, “Is that so?”

You hummed, leaning back to expose your form a bit more, feeling confident from the alcohol, “You like every one of my pictures, you buy all my content, you’re pretty cute, of course you’re my favorite.”

Eren’s ego soared as he turned his body completely towards you, taking a small step forward, “You’re just so beautiful, how could I not? I do have to ask this though, how come you never answered any of my messages?”

“Oh, my DMs are broken. Instagram doesn’t let me view them or respond,” you explained easily. “You know, you could’ve hit me up on OnlyFans, I definitely would have answered you.”

A blush crept up on Eren again as he averted his gaze to the floor, “I didn’t think about that.”

You giggled softly, “What’d you send me anyways?”

“I asked you out on a date,” he admitted, growing more nervous. “Told you that you were really pretty. Y’know, stuff you probably get all the time.”

“Most of my messages are from guys trying to take me out drinking and to get a quick fuck,” you scoffed. “Y’know, if the offer is still on the table, I’d really like to take you up on it.”

“Really?” Eren’s eyes met yours in surprise, you watched his Adam’s apple bob along his throat as he gulped. “You’d want to go out with me?”

“Yeah, who else is going to hold me up when I try to do a keg stand again?” you smiled sheepishly, batting your eyelashes. Eren’s hands twitched at his sides, fuck, you were so pretty.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked seriously, his gaze hardening as he felt a wave of possessiveness. In his mind, you were already his girlfriend. You had accepted his date, and he’d be damned if he didn’t try to push his luck further.

Eren had never felt the way he feels right now. He took immediate notice of your blushing cheeks, your confident lean turn into a shy arch as you pushed your body into a hunched over seating position. Eren had experience with girls, that everyone knew as a fact, he was very far from being a virgin. You made him feel like a fucking virgin, heart beating wildly in his chest. All he wanted to do was to grab you and hide you away for his own greedy pleasure, the darkest parts of his mind tickled by the thought. He had laid a claim to you way before he had ever met you, and he wouldn’t let you escape now that he had you here, alone.

You didn’t answer his request, you pushed yourself off the mattress and met his staggering stance halfway. Unknown to his wicked thoughts, his past month of obsessing of you, you leaned up, gently brushing your lips against his. No one had ever asked you this simple question before, instead just taking the action as if they had owned you, and you thought to yourself that you could really love this boy who presented himself so innocently to you.

The soft placement of your lips to his was not enough, and Eren buried his mouth with your own, moving both of his hands to cup your face. He could feel your jaw beneath the pads of his fingertips as you attempted to meet his pace, sensual and passionate. The need for air forgotten for the both of you, sucking in deeply through your noses as the space continued to close between your bodies.

“Gonna take you someplace real nice,” muttered Eren as he pulled away slightly to gaze his half lidded eyes on your fluttering eyelashes, your gaze now hidden from him. “I know you like that one place in the city, I saw your little post of you wearing that tight dress. You looked so fucking pretty.”

Tingles shivered up your bones, a sharp intake of breath as you fluttered your eyes open to take in his deep lustful expression, “I’ll wear it for you, if you want.”

“Wear my necklace too.”

You pulled away completely this time, baffled, “Your necklace?”

“The one with the ‘E’ on it,” he breathed, moving forward to accommodate the sudden distance, his lips meeting the corner of your mouth. You realized then what he was referring to, a small smirk uplifting his kiss. You wouldn’t tell him though that the necklace in question was just some random trinket with no meaning you had purchased, or that you hadn’t even recognized the pretty cursive as a letter. You figured out very quickly Eren’s little crush was a bit more involved than just him attached to your hip at this party. No, it was way deeper than that. All of the likes, the money, the new information of messages made sense to you. Eren had believed you were his, and he had sought out confirmation all night to prove it.

“Okay,” you played along to his fantasy, an expert since it was your job online already to provide this to your viewers. “What else do you want me to wear?”

“There’s this one set of lingerie,” Eren was the one to pull back now, letting his teal eyes trail downwards to your chest, displeased by the lack of skin shown to him in that instance. “The black lacy one, fuck, wear that. You look so fucking sexy in that.”

“You don’t like when I wear white?” you pouted, bringing your hands to rest against the peak of your breasts, framing them like a picture.

“I like anything you wear,” a smirk crossed his features, eyes locked in on your tits. “Or what you don’t wear.”

You were met with two choices then. One, kiss Eren and get dressed and save yourself for your date, or two, fulfill his now present fantasy of his that was beginning to morph into your own. You mentally battled the decision in your mind, feeling the desire curl in your stomach at each option. If you were to give in now, Eren might not want to continue to chase after you, the promise of an actual date forgotten. Not to mention the party of people down stairs, the thud of music softened behind the closed door of the bedroom indicating it was still in full swing. Eren saw your hesitation, and let his hands travel to your elbows comfortingly.

“I know we technically just met,” he started, eyes now locked in on yours in genuine honesty. “But I really like you. You’re all I’ve thought about for the past month, so if you don’t feel comfortable going any further, that’s okay, I’ll wait. I’ve waited this long.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” you bit your lip as you watched his teal orbs flicker to your mouth. “It’s just — oh God, this is embarrassing to talk about so soon.”

“Shh, it’s okay, I won’t judge,” he cooed, bringing just a hand up to soothe over your cheek.

“I’m not exactly quiet,” you admitted, gesturing towards the floor. “I don’t really want to be the girl who fucks someone at the first party they show up to.”

Eren hadn’t predicted you to be loud in his fantasies, but he was really wishing he had. He held back a groan at your confession, images of what could be filling his dirty mind, “Fuck, okay, no problem. I don’t have any condoms with me anyways.”

“Actually,” you drawled. “I’m on the pill, so as far as that goes, that doesn’t really matter. I’m clean too, I haven’t been with anyone in a long time.”

Boxes were being ticked quickly off of Eren’s checklist, and he let his jaw hang open, “I’m clean too, I don’t fuck anyone without a condom, to be honest.”

I’m going to fuck her raw, is all that was going through his mind. Treat her so good, take her out wearing her pretty little dress and treat her like a fucking princess.

“Please tell me you’re free tomorrow,” Eren pleaded. “I’ll take us fucking anywhere you want.”

“I am, actually,” you batted your eyelashes.

“Cool,” he muttered, beginning to feel drawn into your lips again. As you began to lean back in, a sharp knock sounded at the door.

“Hey! Everything alright?” you both froze, recognizing the voice as Armin’s. Of course he’d be the only one to dare interrupt, and the party below had discouraged him. Eren had taken you upstairs, and while they were all aware of the possibility of the two of you would be hooking up, Armin was more concerned that one or both of you had gotten sick and were in need of help.

“Yeah, we’re fine! Be out in a second!” Eren shouted, feeling suddenly frazzled from the intense interaction between you two. If Armin had opened the door, seeing the two of you locked in together so closely, making out feverishly, it would be completely mortifying. Especially since it wouldn’t be the first time Armin had accidentally seen his best friend in a suggestive situation.

You pecked his lips quickly then, breaking out of his embrace to throw his sweatshirt over your head. Eren was counting backwards in his head to rid himself of the half erection in his pants, nearly impossible as he thought about how pretty you looked in his clothing.

“C’mon,” you tugged at his hand, urging him to follow you back downstairs. “We have a pizza to eat and friends to convince that we definitely didn’t just fuck for ten minutes.”

The group hadn’t made a single comment when you two rejoined the party, only just knowing smirks from Jean and Connie to Eren. Sasha had wiggled her eyebrows at you, and you quickly pulled her and Mikasa into the bathroom to recap what had just occurred upstairs. The girls clapped drunkenly at your news of a date, incredibly excited that their best friend was finally going out with a boy. The night had ended around three in the morning, bodies scattered throughout the house to pass out wherever they pleased. Eren had continued to stay by you the rest of the night, this time, not shy at all as he stole touches to your back. And when it came time to pass out, you felt smugness as he rested his head on your back while you laid on your side on the same bed upstairs, his arm thrown tightly around your waist. Sasha curled up in front of you, your own head snuggling into her shoulder as the room spun you into a deep slumber.

You sat at a vanity in your apartment bedroom the next evening, applying various makeups to your face. Mikasa had awoken you and Sasha pretty early the next morning, wanting to go home so she could get ready for her job. Eren snored quietly behind you as you tried your best to maneuver out of his grasp, and the three of you cleaned up the cups and plates scattered around the house as a thank you to Jean for the invitation. Sasha had driven you all the way back to your place when you realized you were still wearing Eren’s hoodie, and you smirked. Now he definitely had a reason to get you on this date tonight, you had something that belonged to him.

When Eren had woken up, he truly believed for a few minutes that you had just been a dream. Pictures and videos posted all over Instagram had shown him differently though, the two of you leaning against each other on the leather couch smiling drunkenly on Armin’s story had his heart pounding. His arm was around your shoulders, your head was tilted in the crook of his neck, and then Eren remembered that he was going to see you again tonight. He took a screenshot before the story moved on to a video of the group in a heated discussion about music tastes, a quiet chuckle made its way out of his throat as he recounted memories that would become very fond to him.

He had posted the picture then to his Instagram, a few others followed after that included him and his other friends. Eren tagged all of the people, but most importantly, the picture of the two of you was the first in the line up of the photo set. A few messages hit his inbox after he hit the post button, some classmates asking if you were his girlfriend, because you were wearing his sweatshirt in the photo. He decided to not respond, because as much as he wanted to tell them yes, he knew he’d be jumping the gun. His heart raced as a notification popped up — you had liked the picture, and added a comment, ‘last night was a movie’ with a kiss emoji. When he refreshed the page, your lit up story showed him that you had even reposted his photo set. His ego soared, his affections no longer one sided, and he couldn’t fucking wait to take you out later and show you the best time he could.

Eren had gotten your phone number from Sasha not long before your date, asking for your address and trying to pick out a time to head out to dinner. You tapped a response quickly, and looked at the clock to gauge how much time you’d need to be fully ready. That had been about three hours ago, your body had been scrubbed and shaved, hair curled prettily down your back as you added the final touches of lipstick to your lips. The dress Eren had talked about was laid out on your perfectly made bed, a pretty satin champagne colored fabric, and your apartment was fairly clean, fully expecting his company after the date of all went well. You dressed yourself easily, slipping on black heels when you heard the chime of your phone, letting you know Eren was awaiting you outside.

When the elevator doors chimed open as you walked into your lobby, you saw from the entrance doors Eren leaned back casually against the Uber he had offered to pay for. His attention immediately focused on your form as you exited your building, his gaze flickered all over your body.

“You look incredible,” Eren easily complimented, pushing himself up to stand straight. He leaned in to kiss your blushing cheek as you muttered a quiet ‘thank you’, and he pulled the door handle of the sleek black car, ushering you inside. He slammed it closed after you had positioned yourself comfortably, giving the driver a soft greeting as Eren circled around the back, getting in on the opposite side. The directions were already plugged into the driver’s GPS, and it took less than twenty minutes to get to the restaurant in question.

This gave you enough time to take in Eren’s appearance, and damn if you wouldn’t have allowed yourself to do so, the sight practically mouth watering. His hair hung low in a messy bun, a few complementary strands hanging out to frame his sharp jawline. His torso was adorned in a sheer white long sleeve button up, a small portion of his chest revealed as he had left the top buttons alone, chains hanging against his collarbones, silver in color this time. Black slacks that tightened around his thighs and calves had you biting your lip in appreciation, his legs spread as he took up space in the backseat.

“Staring isn’t very polite,” he had leaned in, taking notice of your devouring gaze.

“Stop dressing like a whore and maybe I won’t stare,” you teased back, chuckling quietly when he swatted your exposed thigh lightly. He kept his hand there for the rest of the drive, enjoying the comfortable silence as the quiet hum of the radio filled in the gaps.

When the Uber had slowed to a stop outside of the fancy restaurant Eren had insisted taking you to, he swung the door open before you had a chance to reach for the handle on your side. He raced to the other side of the car, pulling open the door and extending his hand out for you to grasp onto. You circled your fingers around his palm, and he tightened his grasp as you swung your legs over the flooring, and stood before him. The two of you thanked the driver, and he sped away shortly after. Hand still locked in with yours, Eren led the way inside the opened doors of the restaurant. Inside, a hostess wearing a very classy black uniform greeted the two of you.

“Reservation for Eren,” he spoke smoothly, and your eyes widened in surprise, expecting to have sat and waited for at least a half an hour before you had been seated.

“Right this way,” she smiled politely, two menus in her hands as she welcomed you into the dining area. You followed behind Eren, realizing that this place must’ve been a lot more expensive than you originally had gauged. All the guests appeared in their very best formal attire, and the chatter was soft as the beautiful notes of a piano resounded throughout the space. While you couldn’t pinpoint exactly where the music was coming from, you had a strong feeling that there was a physical player somewhere in the midst, it sounded so clear and professional. When the hostess had sat you down in a booth secluded against the furthest set wall, she smiled politely once more and informed you that the waiter would be with you soon.

“Eren,” you hissed as you sat opposite of his smirking form. “This place is stupid fancy!”

“Don’t worry about it,” he waved easily. “I got it, I promise.”

“How are you able to afford this? I’ve got a little bit of money and even I couldn’t go some place this nice,” you questioned, feeling a small pang of guilt. He was going to go broke trying to treat you to a very nice, albeit expensive, meal.

“My dad is a doctor,” he shrugged, picking up the menu and eyeing over their drink selection. “He sends me money whenever I come around and help around his office.”

“Following in the family footsteps?” you tried at the conversation, realizing you virtually knew nothing about the boy in front of you.

“Nah, I’m more into the business side of things,” he smiled up at you then, showing off his pearly white teeth. “What about you? What are you majoring in?”

You spoke of your major, Eren carefully listening in of your passions and your goals for your future ahead. He was pleased to hear that you were ambitious, smiling as he was enamored by your speech. Not that he minded a single bit about your online job, but to hear that you had a legitimate career goal soothed his worries.

A finely dressed waiter greeted you shortly, introducing himself and taking the both of your orders in one go, and stole away the menus. The rest of the date flew by quickly, tipsy from your cocktails and full of giggles as the two of you got to know one another. Although Eren was already knowledgeable about a number of your likes and dislikes and personality quirks due to Instagram, you had the undisguisable pleasure of learning his right then and there.

“So,” you leaned your elbows onto the table, resting your chin atop of your closed fists. “Tell me, how many girls have you taken here before?”

“Not a single one,” he chuckled lowly, passing the black booklet encasing his credit card as the waiter stopped at the table. “This is actually my first time taking anyone out somewhere so fancy. Usually I just hang out at the more lowkey spots around campus.”

“I would’ve been totally okay with going somewhere like that instead,” you frowned, that same guilt flooding back to your stomach. Eren hadn’t even let you see the bill before he had given it away, so you were completely ignorant as far as how far the total rang up. “You really didn’t have to take me out to such an expensive place.”

He rolled his eyes playfully, smirking as he did so, “Had to take my favorite girl somewhere nice, show you off in that gorgeous dress of yours.”

You blushed, moving your fists to hold your cheeks to try and contain the heat, “Fine, but next time, I want to see one of these ‘lowkey spots’.”

“Next time, huh?” Eren mused cockily.

“Yes, I guess I had a really great time tonight, consider yourself honored,” you giggled half heartedly.

“Oh believe me, I do.”

Eren had walked you to the front door of your apartment like the gentleman he was. Really, he was just trying to procrastinate leaving you, not wanting the night to be over with quite yet. Luckily, you were on the exact same page as he stood awkwardly behind you while you unlocked your front door.

You turned, an eyebrow raised, “Well? Are you coming in or what?”

“Say less,” he sighed in relief, following your sauntering frame inside your apartment. He was initially impressed as you flicked the light switch on the wall up, illuminating your precious space. Very clean and organized, he felt a pang of jealousy, knowing his own dorm room was scattered with clothes and empty water bottles. If he had only seen what your living space looked like before you had straightened up, he might have felt better about himself.

“I have some róse in the fridge,” you offered, making your way to the kitchen. “Would you like a glass?”

“No lie, that’s literally my favorite wine,” Eren groaned. “How are you this perfect?”

You laughed loudly, grabbing two wine glasses from your cabinet, opening your fridge and retrieving the bottle. Filling the glasses generously, you left the bottle on your kitchen counter and turned around, Eren a lot closer than where you had left him a moment ago. You extended his cup, which he graciously took and sipped. You mirrored him, gulping down your own mouthful.

“Y’know,” he started, gazing around your kitchen space. “For all that talk of mimosas in your Instagram bio, I really expected there to be a lot more pictures of you drinking them.”

You chuckled once again, “Believe me, I have plenty of orange juice, vodka, and champagne here. We had such a classy dinner, I thought I’d try and match it with some wine. Besides, vodka brings out the worst in me.”

“Ah, lady in the streets, freak in the sheets,” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. You rolled your eyes, swatting his bicep harmlessly. “I get what you’re about at brunch with the girls.”

“If I had a nickel for every time Mikasa had to peel me and Sasha off the pavement after mimosas and scones, I’d be fucking rich,” you giggled once again, raising the glass to your lips.

“I’m really surprised we hadn’t met each other before last night, especially because Mikasa and I have been best friends since we were little,” Eren raised an eyebrow. “She’s basically my sister, and never once did she say anything about you, I only met Sasha because Connie’s attached to her hip and they share the same brain cell.”

“If it makes you feel better, I only knew Jean existed because we had a class together this semester,” you shrugged, purposefully leaving out the part where he consumed your content almost as much as Eren did.

“And of course me,” Eren smirked cheekily. “Because I’m your favorite viewer, like you said.”

“Don’t make me regret telling you that,” you pointed your glass towards him in a fake threat.

“It’s okay, you’re my favorite girl, so it evens itself out,” Eren placed his half drunk glass on the counter top, his gaze much more seductive. “Besides, you wore my necklace like I asked, I gotta tease you a little bit.”

“I wore pretty much everything you wanted me to,” you smirked, copying his actions and settling your own cup down.

“Did you now?” he took long strides to stand in front of you, toying with the necklace that he had laid claim over.

“I can show you, if you want to see,” you leaned up with full intentions of capturing his kiss.

“There’s nothing else I would rather do, pretty girl,” Eren cooed, licking his lips before meeting you in the middle. His arms circled around your waist, your hands wrapped around his shoulders as the pace started out slowly. Gentle was not what either of you wanted though, the desperation seeping in fast as his fingers explored your sides.

“Bedroom,” you gasped as he removed his lips and attached them to your jaw. He had no qualms of fucking you right out here in the kitchen, so he made no effort to move. Realizing you had to take the reins, you moved backwards from Eren, smirking as he groaned from the sudden distance. His eyes followed you predatorily as he began to chase after you, your back meeting the wooden paneling of your bedroom door. He attempted to recapture your mouth, but your hand was faster in turning the door knob, and you began to lead him back until your mattress met the backs of your knees.

“Want you to show me what you’re wearing under that dress,” Eren demanded, playing with the short hem that rested on your thighs.

You nodded, giving him the silent okay to take off the fabric encompassing your frame. You turned so your back faced him, moving your hair out of the way so he could unzip the back. His eyes followed as he fingered the silver zipper, agonizingly teasing himself as more and more was revealed to him. Seeing the straps of the black lace he had requested drunkenly the night before, his patience snapped as he pulled the metal piece down faster. You slid the tiny straps off your shoulders at the sweet feeling of release, and Eren’s dick was rock fucking solid as it pooled around your feet, you kicked the silky fabric to the side and faced him once more.

“You’re wearing everything I told you to,” he stated, drinking in the sight of your scantily clad body. “Good girl.”

You bit back an embarrassing moan at his praise, feeling the heat pool between your thighs. It came as such a shock to you to be so reactive to his words, and it came slamming into you that maybe you weren’t as vanilla as you had previously believed. You had a kink! It all made so much sense, why you felt such pride and arousal from complete strangers giving you their attention and compliments online. You yearned for it, craved the affections, and now that Eren stood in front of you, more than willing to shower you with pretty words, all the moisture in your mouth dried up. You wanted him so fucking bad.

Eren’s hands met the naked skin of your waist as his palms etched over your soft stomach. They met in the middle of your back, leaning your back onto the mattress as he climbed on top of you, a single hand coming up to work on discarding his button up. You rushed to help, pads of your fingers working the buttons open until he revealed his bare chest, his chains hanging above you. He worked his arms out quickly, tossing the fabric onto the floor. He brought his lips to yours, this kiss much more desperate and needy than the previous ones. His hands explored every inch of your body, the tops of your thighs to the swell of your breasts. He tugged on the soft lace at the top, slowly bringing the black fabric down to expose the complete fullness of your breasts. A sight familiar yet somehow new made Eren groan, the pads of his thumbs brushing against your pretty nipples, instantly hardening them.

You moaned lightly, throwing your head back and arching your back into his touch. How many times had Eren pictured you just like this?

“I fucked my fist so many fucking times thinking about you,” he confessed as he pressed slow open mouthed kisses to your collarbone. “You have no idea what your pictures did to me, no idea what you’re doing to me right now.”

He leaned his bottom half forward, pressing his thick clothed erection into the meat of your thigh. You let out a whimper, head foggy as his words made your pussy clench around nothing.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” he licked a stripe up your neck, leaving a wet saliva trail as he wrapped his lips around where he could feel your pulse the strongest. “My pretty girl.”

While Eren wanted to talk about what you did to him, all you could think about was what he was doing to you. The want and need that coursed through your veins was like a drug, you could feel him worming his way into your bloodstream, straight to the center of your heart and out to the warmest parts of your body. And you felt like an addict in that moment too, and every moment you would spend with Eren there after. You could feel his kisses as if he was underneath your skin, his entire body pressed against yours. So, so close, yet not close enough.

“Take off your pants,” you demanded shakily, placing your hands at the button of his slacks. He seemed to be on the same page of you yet again, and he followed his instructions without delay. He kicked out of the tight pants with ease, and you were more than pleased to see he had rid himself of his boxers too when you heard the thick slap of his cock meeting his stomach.

“Oh my god,” you breathed, eyes widened. “Eren, that’s not going to fit.”

“Don’t worry,” he soothed your hair back from your face, pressing a sweet kiss to the tip of your nose. “I’ll make sure you’re nice and wet for me.”

He started to move south, licking and giving attention to your right nipple as he did so. While the idea of him giving you thorough attention was erotic, you really wanted to please him for your first time together, unknown to you as Eren had thought the exact same thing, wanting to make you feel so good you’d come crawling back to him for more.

You pushed yourself up into a seating position, Eren’s eyes flickering in confusion as you stood up. This look didn’t last for long as you switched positions, pushing his torso onto the bed as you rested atop of him, feet placed firmly on the ground. His mouth hung open in disbelief as you began to return his assault on his neck, sucking and kissing and even biting along the columns. He let out a shaky groan, unable to hold it back as your hands traveled down his chest to his abdomen, feeling over the muscles there.

“What’re you doing, princess?” Eren questioned teasingly, not trying to get his hopes up on what your plan seemed to be.

“Wanna’ make you feel good,” your eyes flickered up to meet the dark green of his eyes, watching as his pupils expanded as the realization hit him like a brick.

“Fuck, okay,” Eren subconsciously widened his thighs then, bringing himself up to lean on his elbows as your kisses followed shortly behind the trail of your fingers.

Your mouth met the defined muscle of his stomach, and your eyes drifted up to catch Eren’s reaction as you neared closer to his aching cock. His eyes were hardened on you, brows knitted together, he almost looked angry. You kitten licked above his navel, and knew the anger was superficial as he threw his head back, letting out a quiet groan. You leaned your body in closer, pushing your exposed chest against his length. He whipped his head forward again at the contact, his lips opened as he inhaled shaky breaths.

Part of you had kind of wanted to hear Eren beg for your mouth, but the thought had quickly left your head as he entangled his fingers into the back of your scalp, massaging gently as he did so. Without a moment of hesitation, you lowered your face so you were eye to eye with his thick shaft. Honestly, you really hadn’t expected Eren to be this big. You had caught a glimpse of his half erect member tenting in his pants the night before, but as it stood to full attention, you were very much intimidated by the sheer size. You gulped, putting on a brace face as you continued on.

The sound of Eren’s groans growing louder as you licked a bold stripe from the bottom of his base to the tip of his head had stirred your cunt deeply. You were on your knees now, feet tucked up under you when you felt the wet patch of your panties touch the back of your heels. You licked a few more times, your right hand trailing down from his stomach to grip him more upright. You pulled all the saliva in your mouth onto your tongue, and wrapped your lips around his tip while your hand secured a purposeful grip at his base. You started slow, only sucking in your cheeks and moving your tongue along the underside of his head, pumping him at the same pace. You could feel beads of spit meet your knuckles, circling your tongue around the entirety of his fat mushroom tip. You smoothly licked along his slit, collecting his gushing precum and tasting the salty liquid.

Meanwhile as you had just started your worship of his cock, Eren was watching you in disbelief as your eyelashes fluttered along your cheeks, mouth prepping yourself to take in his full length. He had pulled himself into a sitting position now to provide you the best angle he could. He was in complete awe, furrowing eyebrows and his mouth hanging open, he knew in that moment there was absolutely no point of return. He would follow you from here on out, whether it be online or in reality, wherever you would go. Soulmates, he reminded himself while he collected your hair into his fist and away from your mouth. You were his fucking soulmate.

You pressed your knees upward, eyes opening. Eren’s pupils were blown out, his breathing irregular, and you wanted to watch him completely unfold as you angled your head to drop lower onto his shaft, hand working just a little faster.

“Fuck —“ he stuttered, eyes blazing into yours. “That’s it, take all of me, you’re such a good girl.”

You moaned lightly at his praise once again, and Eren’s cock hit the back of your throat. You pulled your lips up slowly, tongue caressing the underside of his member the entire time, and quickly brought your unoccupied hand into a fist. This was the first time you would be trying out this trick, reading it in a magazine since your gag reflex was very strong and this helped soothe the impulse. Eren was not prepared in the slightest as you removed the hand gripping him, letting his dick fall forward a bit more. You took a deep breathe through your nose, spit coating his entire cock now, and pushed your mouth fast back down his shaft.

Eren let out a strangled gasp when your nose brushed against his pelvis, “Holy fucking — fuck. Shit, yeah, just like that. You look so fucking pretty right now.”

Tears were threatening the spill over your lash line and you bobbed your head furiously, taking in as much as you could before you gagged. You stared up at him the entire time, watching his face screw together as you lapped and sucked his cock. Your jaw was aching already from his size, minding your teeth placement as you quickened your pace. You returned your hand to wrap and pump whatever your mouth wasn’t able to reach as you set yourself into a more comfortable pattern. Your other hand cupped his balls, swirling them softly in your palms.

Eren’s fingers yanked you back, his dick falling out of your lips in a soft pop, as you looked up in confusion, “Gonna’ stop you there baby, gonna’ make me cum.”

His hand in your hair guided you back up to his lips, and Eren could taste himself as his tongue pushed through your swollen mouth to enter yours. You moaned into the kiss, so sloppy and messy, you took no notice of Eren’s hands wiping away the leftover dribble on your chin. He yanked you back, a bit rougher this time, and you panted, rubbing your thighs together at the force. He eyed you up, your beautiful tits still on display, the fabric of your lace bra folded underneath them.

“Get naked for me, princess,” he cooed, untangling his fingers from your scalp. You did as you were told, practically ripping the lace set off your body as you soon stood stark naked in front of Eren. He pushed his legs up, joining you. You felt very small then as he towered above you, playing with the tips of your hair, he guided you around until you were forced to lay yourself flat on your back on the mattress once again.

Eren caressed your shins as he stood tall in front of you, never breaking eye contact. You could still see the glistening of your saliva on his cock, and heat continued to pool in between your thighs in anticipation of his next move.

“Look at you,” he whispered, wrapping his fingers on the tops of your bent knees, legs closed together. “So pretty, it almost hurts to look at you.”

His darkened eyes shot down, drinking you all in before settling on your closed legs. With his hands, he gently forced them to part, and he let out a quiet moan at the sight in front of him. Dripping in arousal, almost sparkling and shining like the gem you were, your pussy spread open for him, begging for his attention. His gaze darted up back to your face, trying not to get too carried away as he admired your beautiful body.

Eren let out a dark chuckle, stroking his hands to the meat of your thighs, “You have no idea the things I have planned for us, princess.”

You whimpered, unable to voice a single word. His right hand moved towards your center, and you gasped sharply as he gently grazed your folds with the lightest of touches. His thumb landed a hair above your clit, and you squirmed, desperate now. He circled so slowly on your pearl, gazing on with an inflated ego. Eren wanted you to beg for him, to tell you all about those ideas he had going on in his head while he fucked his fingers into you.

He decided to go easy on you though, you had plenty of time ahead of you to learn exactly what he wanted when it came to the bedroom, he cooed, “I’m gonna’ show you off, just like you deserve. Gonna’ buy you pretty things, treat you like the fucking princess you are — gonna’ be my pretty girl.”

“Please, Eren,” you whimpered, attempting to push your pelvis into his hand, failing miserably as his other one gripped your thigh in place. “I need you.”

“Tell me exactly what you need, baby,” Eren smirked.

“Everything,” you breathed out. “I want you to keep calling me pretty, wan’ you to fuck me.”

“We’ll get to that part soon,” he paused, lowering his head to your inner thigh, getting to his knees on the floor. “Just need to make you feel good first, pretty girl.”

Eren licked a bold stripe up your pussy as you mewled, feeling a shred of relief as the tip of his tongue circled your clit. You felt a bead of saliva, probably mixed in with your own arousal, travel down the seam of your ass. Eren was starving, and you tasted so delicious, a sweet tart flavor exploding across his taste buds. He flattened his tongue, and looked up to watch your gorgeous face as his lips engulfed your clit.

You threw your head back, eyes rolling into the back of your skull as you attached your hands to your breasts, pulling and tugging on your nipples. He positioned his hands to the back of your thighs then, somehow managing to spread you open even more. The sounds he made in between your folds were wet and sloppy, and he rubbed small circles with the pads of his thumbs into the creases where your legs met your ass.

He never broke away from your face, watching everything unfold before him. Now that you were free from his solidifying grip, your hips were rolling. He watched your ribs expand and fall as you moaned unabashedly, rubbing your cunt into his mouth. Eren had never seen a more beautiful sight, and suddenly, it wasn’t enough to satisfy him. His right hand itched closer to your opening, and you trembled at the prodding of his index fingers. His tongue flopped around sloppily, slurping your bud in between his lips as he entered you slowly, cock pulsing at the feeling of your slick velvety walls greeting his finger.

Here he was, on his knees before you, eyes heavy and swirling because of you. You arched your back as he pumped the single digit in you slowly at first. He felt the tight clench of your walls as his tongue flicked at a certain angle, pleased that he had discovered very quickly how he was going to get you to cum. Eren was impatient, and as much as he wanted to stay between the heat of your thighs for hours if you’d let him, he really needed that orgasm from you. The tip of his pointer finger left you briefly, and you whimpered at the sudden loss, quickly becoming breathless and he slammed it right back in alongside his middle finger. They curled inside of you, brushing right against the soft spongy wall that was your g-spot. You were gushing for him, the sloppy noises of his assaults resounding around the bedroom.

“Fuck, fuck,” you panted, feeling your breasts bounce as he fucked his fingers into you at an alarming pace, tongue following the pattern eagerly. “Oh my god, I’m so close, Eren, I’m gonna’ cum.”

He pulled his mouth back momentarily, voice husky and pleading as he told you, “Cum for me, baby.”

You slammed your hips down onto his knuckles, feeling the underside of his palm and your slick. He had been reduced to curling and angling his fingers inside of you, watching in adoration and awe as you bounced yourself on his fingers, rubbing your pretty pussy against his mouth. Eren had just become a bystander at this point, he was pretty much forced to be stilled as you used his mouth and hands so greedily, feeling an unfamiliar swell in your cunt.

And when your back arched, and your walls clenched so fiercely tight around his drenched fingers, Eren found his forever love. He’d do anything, be anyone, whatever the fuck that was asked of him, to see this sight for the rest of his life. You were vibrating, legs shaking so strongly, Eren had to mentally catch up when he felt a gush of hot liquid soak him. He shifted his gaze down in shock, and holy shit, you were squirting.

You swore you had never orgasmed like this before, it was more than stars you were seeing behind your closed eyelids. It was pure black, absolute nothingness as your brain short circuited. It was like your pussy was taking a deep breath, because when the onset of contractions hit you, you thought you were going to pass out. And poor Eren, who stared dumbly in front of him at how intense your muscles were flexing, was already so deeply in love with you and was confessing his eternal devotion to you in his mind.

When your cunt had settled down, and your hips relented in pushing yourself against Eren’s face and hands, you let out a low moan as he slid his drenched fingers out of you. He stared at his hand, shining with your cum, and flickered his gaze up to you.

“I’m going to fucking marry you,” he growled. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever fucking seen.”

You let out an exhausted laugh, “Would you believe me if I told you that was the first time I’ve ever squirted?”

“I’m buying you a goddamn ring tomorrow,” he placed a kiss to your inner thigh, moving his body up to hover above you. Eren’s hands wrapped around your thighs once again, propping your knees to your chest. He saw the slight trace of fear in your eyes, and he paused, “You okay?”

“It’s just,” you gazed at the point between your bodies. “Are you gonna’ fit?”

Eren leaned forward, feeling slightly relieved, his face still dripping in your essence, and he placed a sweet, romantic kiss to your lips, pulling away to murmur, “I’ll be gentle, I promise.”

You nodded your head, letting the worry roll off your body as one of his hands caressed your cheek, never breaking eye contact with him. The other hand reached in between your centers, grabbing his throbbing cock and sliding himself along your pussy. He was soon coated in your juices, and both of you were letting out quiet moans. As he sunk his tip into your entrance though, you were gasping loudly.

Eren really had wanted to be gentle, he had no intentions whatsoever of hurting you, but he had realized very quickly that you were going to be the one to set the pace in the relationship. Because as soon as half of his shaft was anchored in your heat, your hips slammed upwards to engulf his entire length. He bit back a yelp at the suddenness, fisting the sheets by your waist in a tight grip. If Eren didn’t feel like a virgin before, he sure as fuck did now.

You didn’t realize just how prepped that orgasm had made you, or how sensitive. What you had believed would’ve been pain was insurmountable and mind blowing pleasure, and you smiled in pride as Eren’s jaw fell open. You felt his hands fall from the underside of your thighs, and you took the opportunity, leveraging your legs, and thrusted upwards. Eren bottomed out inside of you, and you winced slightly at the mild pain of his tip meeting the wall of your cervix, the stretch of your walls accommodating him as you fluttered around him.

“You’re so big, Eren,” you moaned out, moving your hands to grasp his flexing biceps. “‘Feels so good.”

Eren was fighting an internal war — go as slow as physically possible as to not bust in your heavenly pussy in three strokes, or give you the best two minutes of your fucking life. Because it was absolutely all way too much, your gorgeous face, your soaked core, the way you gripped his cock so tightly. You were a vixen, Eren’s personal vices wrapped up in one human body. He couldn’t help but take notice of how perfectly your bodies fit together, your pussy made for him.

“Eren, move, please,” you whined, attempting to squirm your hips. He shot a hand down to your hip, stilling you as he gave you a warning glare.

“I’m trying really hard not to cum inside of you right now,” Eren groaned, finally moving his hips. “You’re so fucking tight, baby. Making it real hard for me right now.”

Little was Eren aware of your pussy still on edge from the mind blowing power of your first orgasm, and you mouth lolled open as he slowly fucked you. If you were to touch your clit, or have any type of pressure there right now, it would be over for you as well. You’d have all the time in the future to have long, drawn out sex with Eren, but the two of you were just way too turned on and aroused by each other to have anything but heavy and fast sex. With a slight hesitation on your end, also not wanting to cum so quickly around his length, you rocked your hips into his fastening pace.

Eren chose the latter of his two options then, feeling the ridges of your pussy pulse and flutter around his cock. He pulled all the way back, tip daring to fall out of your little hole, and he flung himself right back in to the hilt. He repeated this a few times, and you were trying your best to hold back screams. Eren was drooling at the sight of your pretty pink pussy taking him, sloppy and messy from his saliva and your cum. He brought his attention to your bouncing breasts, molding one into his palm, rolling the nipple in the center.

Eren’s thrusts quickened dramatically, and he knew that your warning from the previous night had been true. You were screaming, calling out his name and several swears and ‘oh my god’s. This only encouraged him more, ego pretty much stroking his own cock as he plunged into you at a dangerous pace. He knew he was going to fast approach his orgasm, but Eren wasn’t stupid either. He could feel the clench tightening around him as he fucked right into that pretty spot inside of you, the way your breathing changed after a few seconds of that. Eren would become your number one expert, knowing every tell tale sign of your body, and what you were feeling. From one orgasm, he knew how your breathing changed, and Eren was determined to take you to those heights again.

Keeping the flick of his hips at the slamming pace he was at, he brought his thumb to your swollen clit. At the impact, your eyes screwed closed over the overwhelming pleasure. You felt a twinge of pain, just so sensitive from how strong you came before, but didn’t stop Eren as he rolled your pearl in fast circles, putting delicate pressure on the very top. It took maybe three strokes of his cock and a slight unsteady irregularity in his pattern to get you right where he had wanted you — desperate to cum alongside him.

“I’m so close, Eren,” you moaned out, lower body buzzing in anticipation.

“I want you to cum on my cock,” he demanded, a shocked moan crawling out of his throat at the first clench. “Oh, fuck, good girl.”

You spasmed under him, eyebrows shooting up in a furrow as you arched your back uncontrollably, the wave of your second orgasm slamming into you like a train. You could hear the squelching of Eren fucking your pussy as you contracted around him, or as he tried to. It was pure ecstasy, a feeling of wholeness filling you entirely. Half way through your orgasm, he grabbed the base of his cock, sliding out of you as he pumped himself fast above you. You held your legs open, breathing heavily as Eren watched your muscles contract in astonishment. He had never made a girl cum like this before, so hard and so visually. Your beautiful face, eyes encouraging him to cum, was all he needed. His dick was covered in you, his fingers sticky and soaked. It was all so fucking sloppy, and the thought and sight of it all caught up to him.

You felt the hot ropes of cum hit your belly, moaning at the sight. Eren was fucking his fist, cock thrusting in his grip like he had been doing in your pussy. His head hung forward, eyes drinking in the entirety of you. He shot his load on your lower half, stroking himself down after a couple of minutes, breathing heavily.

He eyed the box of tissues on your nightstand, and grabbed a few, languidly wiping his cum off of your abdomen as the two of you tried to catch your breath, or bring a ration thought back into your minds.

“We just had porn star sex,” you giggled tiredly.

“Oh yes we fucking did,” Eren smirked. “Not to like hype you up or whatever, that was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

Your pride and ego swelled as he finished wiping up his cum, discarding the tissues in the bin on the floor. He hadn’t given you much time to respond, asking where the bathroom was so he could grab a rag to clean you up. You were humbled, affection rising in your chest when he returned to take care of your exhausted body. No one had bothered with aftercare before, and right then and there, you knew Eren was a keeper.

“Thank you,” you yawned out, stretching your legs in front of you. Eren hung around a little awkwardly, not sure of what to do. “You can spend the night, if you want to.”

He raised his eyebrows, a smile crossing his face, “Do you want me to?”

You rolled your eyes, pushing yourself back until your head met your pillows and lifted your comforter, gesturing for Eren to join you. And that he did, pouncing on the offer and sliding into bed with you, not hesitating for a second to wrap his muscular arms around your waist. He kissed you gently, pulling away to place his lips on your shoulder as you began to drift off.

You awoke alone in your bed, the bright rays of the sun hazy as you blinked the sleep away. You could smell and hear the sizzling of breakfast in your kitchen, your bedroom door swung wide open. You threw your legs over the mattress, stealing a quick look at yourself in the mirror. You cringed at the mascara stains under your eyes, taking a tissue and wiping underneath your lashes to look presentable enough for the man looming in your kitchen. You discarded the tissue, and slid on a pair of fresh panties and Eren’s enormous sweatshirt you had yet to return, and padded your bare feet across your floor to join him.

Eren’s back faced you, his form only clad in a pair of boxers as he focused his complete attention to the frying pans in front of him. You smirked, leaning against your counter, placing your chin in your open hands.

“Good morning, Chef Eren,” you teased, catching him off guard as he jumped a bit.

He turned to face you, hair a complete mess as a boyish smile graced his face, “Morning, princess. I hope you don’t mind my mess.”

“It smells amazing, so I guess I can figure out a way to forgive you,” you sighed dramatically. “Only if there’s coffee involved, though.”

“Way ahead of you,” he moved his legs over to your coffee machine, a pair of steaming muga awaiting his hand. He grabbed one, a plain white mug that matched the rest of your kitchen set, and set it on the counter in front of you.

“If you’re trying to earn extra credit, it’s working,” you said, dumbstriken.

“Gotta’ show you I’m boyfriend material,” he wagged his eyebrows, turning back to the frying pan before cutting the heat off. “I couldn’t find your plates, though.”

“Cabinet above the sink,” you directed, pulling out a stool from underneath your kitchen bar. “Forks and stuff are in the drawer by the refrigerator.”

Eren nodded, collecting two plates and the necessary utensils from their designated areas. The sight of eggs and bacon made your mouth water, and you were about to get a key made specifically for Eren to waltz in every morning to cook you this glorious meal every single day. You thanked him as he set your plate in front of you, and you dug in.

“Eren, it’s so good,” you complimented after chewing. “You really know how to treat a girl.”

He simply laughed, and the two of you fell into a pleasant conversation. And then by the time mid day rolled around, the two of you had talked all about where you’d be spending the evening. The night had ended just like the one before in mind blowing sex, the morning after repeating itself, and again, and again.

A month later, you had updated your Instagram bio. ‘Connoisseur of mimosas, rock and roll, and Eren Jaeger’. And when it had come time to update your OnlyFans content, you were more than happy to have your own personal photographer to use at your discretion. Just as long as you continued to wear his necklace, Eren would take as many pictures as you needed him to, knowing you’d end up in each other’s beds at the end of the session anyways. And he’d continue to follow you, this time though, you’d gladly send him his favorite pictures for free.

LACHERI © 2021: all writing content belongs to LACHERI. I do not allow reposts or translations. this is my only account.

[ah-ga-seven]

Till’ The End Of Summer - Chapter 12

>> series masterlist <<

Pairing: Choi Yeonjun x Reader

In a Nutshell: College!AU, Rich Kids, Friends to Lovers, Fuckboy athlete Yeonjun, Overprotective Best friend Soobin, contains all of TXT and other Idol cameos, Omnipresent perspective.

Synopsis: You and Yeonjun are caught up in a cat and mouse game because of unspoken feelings and endless pining for each others’ attention. With the summer break approaching and lots of college parties, will you finally get a chance to explore your feelings for each other; even though the world and Yeonjun’s reputation makes things complicated?

Word count: 8K

Idol Cameos: ATEEZ Wooyoung, NCT Johnny, ITZY Ryujin & Yeji.

Genre:  Angst, Fluff. 

Warnings: Mentions of drug use and alcohol consumption.

A full week of radio silence from your end had passed. No matter how many times Yeonjun called or texted, begging you to listen to him; you didn’t give in. In fact, you blocked his number, his Instagram…and his Snapchat.  

Soobin had also been avoiding Yeonjun, though they lived together they hadn’t seen each other and Soobin made it no secret that he was actively avoiding any type of contact with Yeonjun, even though Yeonjun had tried to reach out several times.

“Yeonjun…don’t you think you’ve had enough.” Wooyoung says snatching the liquor bottle from a highly intoxicated Yeonjun.

He scoffed, snatching back the bottle of Jack from Wooyoung's grip, taking another sip. The burn of the liquid was nothing compared to the lingering burn of his broken heart, so he didn’t hold back.

“Don’t you think you should mind your own fucking business,” he counters unnecessarily rude as he slouches on Wooyoung’s couch.

Wooyoung rolls his eyes at his friend and he checks his phone, scrolling through his socials to distract himself from the feeling of wanting to punch Yeonjun in the face.  

Wooyoung was giving Yeonjun the benefit of the doubt given the vaguely explained circumstances and was acting as his babysitter; even though it was usually the other way around in their friendship.

He was a few swipes in before his orbs landed on the Instagram story of Johnny Suh. His eyes enlarged when he saw you at his party, sitting comfortably on the couch with your legs draped over Johnny’s, looking as happy as ever. Wooyoung looked at Yeonjun through hooded lids as he followed Yeonjun's gaze into nothingness while he took another sip from the bottle.

“Oh…so you don’t want me to tell you where y/n is right now? Or more importantly…who she’s with.”

“What are you on about,” Yeonjun speaks sighing as he rubs his forehead in agony.

“See for yourself.” Wooyoung replies panning the phone to Yeonjun’s line of sight as he replays the video.

Yeonjun’s eyes popped out of his skull as he observed you cozying up to that motherfucker. He snatched the phone from Wooyoung, going back and forth in his stories to try and catch another glimpse of you.  

“Oh hell no,” he huffed as he got up from the couch. “I’m going.”

“Where?”

“To Johnny’s, where the fuck else.”  

‘Not alone you’re not.” Wooyoung says grabbing his car keys.  

When Johnny invited you to one of his iconic parties, you didn’t have to think twice. The best way of getting over Yeonjun was by getting under someone else and that was exactly what you planned to do when you first got here….but god how things took a turn.

You drank…and drank…and drank…and then you might have just accidentally joined the stoners in the garden.  

You were drunk, high and high again, and nothing was registering to you anymore other than the fact that you had the munchies, even though you wanted to throw up.

“First time?” Ryujin chuckled as she wrapped her blanket around you to share her warmth.  

She took the blunt from you and patted your head in comfort as she passed it to some guy named Jungwoo. You didn’t know how you got so close to her in such a short amount of time, but not having Mia around to cling to made you socialize with people you normally wouldn’t hang with.

“No, but I’ve…never combined the two.”  

“Yeah, rule number one, don’t do that unless you’re a veteran,” she states.

“I need to lie down otherwise I’ll hurl," you whine, and you weren't even kidding.

“Oh, shit y/n, let’s go somewhere quiet then, quick.” Ryujin got up and took your hand, leading you to the stairs as quickly as she could in hopes you would stay conscious throughout. Your legs were on automatic pilot, but you also knew it wasn’t going to take long before they would give out on you.

Johnny saw how Ryujin basically dragged you up the stairs and frowned, leaving in the middle of a heated Uno game to check on you. He sprinted up the stairs and hooked his arm around your waist as he put your arm around his neck for support, helping you up the remaining steps.

“Are we okay here?” he asked looking from you to Ryujin. “Uh, she mixed weed with alcohol and is having a bad reaction.” Ryujin snickered.

You couldn’t do anything other than look up at Johnny with googly eyes, giggling at him. Your cute action made him laugh in response and he leads both you and Ryujin to his bedroom without a word.

“She can sleep it off here.” Johnny says as he opens the door to his room, gently placing you on the bed.  

Your limbs hit the off switch as your body made contact with the bed. Everything was spinning and all you could do was giggle to yourself, which made Johnny and Ryujin laugh at your antics once again.

Ryujin pulled the covers over you before she sat down on the foot end of Johnny’s bed, she watched him stare at you and sighed.

“Thanks for letting her stay here.”

“Mi casa is Suh casa” Johnny says giving Ryujin and yourself a wink and you scoff. “You didn’t just make that lame joke,” you judge him even in your state and he chuckled, crouching down before you to pet your head.

“How about you sleep off your attitude,” he says with a smirk, and you just stick your tongue out as you snuggle your cheek into the pillow; closing your eyes to doze off.

In the meantime, Yeonjun and Wooyoung had found their way to Johnny’s home. Yeonjun had been ringing the doorbell for the past minute and was slowly losing his sanity while Wooyoung waited patiently beside him.

“Just call someone you know in there. They probably can’t hear because of the music.” Wooyoung tries to explain, but Yeonjun didn’t listen and switched from ringing the doorbell to knocking on the door.

Wooyoung groaned at his stubbornness and just like that the door opened with a dramatic swing, and in the door opening was no one other than Hwang Yeji.

“I thought they came to collect the trash at noon,” she says deadpanning Yeonjun in the eye as soon as her gaze landed on him.

Yeonjun groaned in annoyance and held on to Wooyoung for life support. “Very fucking funny Yeji, your humor is just as dry as your p-…you can finish that sentence yourself. Would you tell me where my girlfriend is?”

Wooyoung’s eyes widened at his mean comment and covered Yeonjun’s mouth with his hand. “He had a lot to drink,” Wooyoung says as Yeonjun takes Woo’s hand from his mouth aggressively.

Yeji ignored Wooyoung’s attempt to salvage the damage and averted her attention back to Yeonjun.  

“Girlfriend? Do you mean y/n? The fact that she decided to date you is sad.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’d be salty too if I were you. You don’t have to act as if you weren’t screaming my name a few months ago.”

“Ok, Yeonjun. Seriously, shut up.” Wooyoung pushes Yeonjun past Yeji through the door opening before Yeji would decide to swing at him, pulling him aside below the staircase.

“Dude what the fuck.” Wooyoung says under his breath. Yeonjun just shrugged, grabbing the first freshmen that passed by them by their collar, pulling the poor boy closer so he could ask him about your whereabouts.  

“Hey, dwarf. Have you seen a girl with (a description of your physical appearance.) probably shitfaced drunk, possibly accompanied by Johnny Suh.” 

The kid was baked as fuck, his eyes were red and hanging low. He just chuckled looking back and forth from Yeonjun to Wooyoung “Dude there was a girl just like that flashing her titties on the patio a minute ago. Maybe the show is still going man, hurry.”  

“What now!?” Yeonjun let go of the younger boy and he just waddled off as if nothing happened, leaving him in a more distressed state than ever.

You wouldn’t do that? Right? “That can’t be y/n,” Wooyoung says scratching the back of his head. “Let’s just ask around some more.”  

And so they did. They ended up in the garden where the smell of pot filled their nostrils after they skimmed every room on the ground floor, but it was to no avail. They decided to go up the stairs, something Yeonjun wished he didn’t have to do because if you were upstairs that could mean one of two not so great things.

They searched through the halls first and Wooyoung's eyes land on Johnny closing the door behind him in a room down the hall. Wooyoung grabbed Yeonjun by the shoulder, motioning him to look at what he was seeing.

When Yeonjun’s eyes landed on Johnny it took about 0,003 seconds for him to take long strides into his direction. Wooyoung did his best to keep up with Mr long legs, so he had to jog after Yeonjun to keep up as he felt the hairs in his neck rise in anticipation of the inevitable confrontation between two alpha males.

“Hey man, have you seen my girlfriend?” Yeonjun says as he approaches the senior.

“And who might that be?” Johnny says turning around. He wasn’t even a wee-bit surprised that Yeonjun showed up here. He was always wherever you were. Luckily for Johnny he wasn’t interested in having sex with you anymore. The two of you really hit it off as friends, and he didn’t wanna ruin it, but god…Yeonjun did get under his skin a little too much for his liking.

“Don’t act dumb, where’s y/n.”

Johnny sucks his teeth in annoyance and decided to taunt Yeonjun for challenging him like that. “She’s in my bed,” Johnny says as his lips curl up into a smile and before he knew it Yeonjun grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.  

“Let go.” Johnny threatens through his teeth, towering over Yeonjun with the few inches of height he had over Yeonjun, but he didn’t budge.

Wooyoung inhales sharply, him being an average of 10 centimeters shorter than the both of them didn’t help with intervening. So he bent his knees to wiggle between them from below, pulling them away from each other.

“Yeonjun’s drunk. Don’t mind him” Wooyoung chuckled nervously, fixing Johnny’s shirt.

Yeonjun was seething at this point. “If you would’ve just let me explain first…god you really need to work on your temper. y/n deserves better than a hothead like you.”

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” Yeonjun replies under his breath as he points his finger in Johnny’s face.

Johnny rolled his eyes in response, stepping aside.

“She’s in there with Ryujin. She got drunk and smoked weed she’s not having the best reaction so she’s asleep right now. She’s fine. Go home.”

“I’m not going anywhere without her.” Yeonjun huffs.

“Well, then you can sleep on the floor cause you’re not taking her anywhere either.” Johnny took a step closer to Yeonjun again with Wooyoung still between them and at this point, Wooyoung didn’t know what else to do other than barge into Johnny’s room to cut the tension

Wooyoung had hoped that if Yeonjun saw you, his anger would subside; so he took the chance of getting punched in the face by Johnny for the greater good.

He barged through the door, startling Ryujin who was facetiming Beomgyu.  

“Look she really is asleep, fully clothed. Now, can we leave dude? I think we’ve caused enough trouble.”  Wooyoung says in a whisper pointing to your sleeping form.

Ryujin’s eyes widened when her eyes landed on the three men in front of her. “Is that Yeonjun hyung?” Gyu’s voice sounded from the speaker and Ryujin quickly apologized to him, ending the phone call after promising to call back later.

Yeonjun softened immediately. He really didn’t know how he would feel when he saw you, but since the last time he saw you was in your apartment that day; he froze.

He couldn’t help but think that the reason you turned to drugs and alcohol to subside the pain was because of him, and suddenly sadness and guilt wash over him once again.

Johnny watched Yeonjun like a hawk, and noticed how his icy demeanor melted at the sight of you. He wasn’t just going to let Yeonjun take you home, you would need to consent to it, even in your state.

Yeonjun crouched down before you, moving a strand of your hair out of your face, completely entranced by you. He forgot the presence of the other people in the room and caressed your cheek with his thumb lightly.

He missed you.

“Y/n…” his voice was clear; he was calling out for you but you had no clue if It was a dream or real life.  

You slowly found the strength to open your eyes. You blink a couple of times before your vision went from blurry to…somewhat less blurry, and in a split second, you recognize who’s in front of you by the shape of his lips alone.

“Are you okay?” Yeonjun asked sweetly.

Wooyoung couldn’t help but be dumbfounded at Yeonjun’s sudden change of heart. The stubborn, mean, and aggressive Yeonjun was completely replaced by a soft and loving one in the blink of an eye.  

"Bipolar much." he whispered, making Johnny and Ryujin chuckle in response.

Wooyoung gave Johnny a look which he just shrugged at, and Ryujin basically melted thinking that Yeonjun came over to be your knight in shining armor, but you know, she didn’t know the full story.

You forgot you were mad at him because it truly felt like you were dreaming and when Yeonjun asked you if you wanted to go home, you just nodded as you dozed off again.

Well…There’s your consent.

Reluctantly, Johnny let Yeonjun take you with him. He understood he had no place in keeping you here if you really were Yeonjun’s girlfriend, so he complied. Keeping an eye on you as Yeonjun carried you to Wooyoung's car.

“Tell her to text me when she wakes up.” Johnny says with his arms crossed, watching as Yeonjun carefully places you in the backseat.  

“Yeah, no.” Yeonjun says as he fastens your seatbelt for you.  

Johnny shook his head and went back inside, even though Yeonjun was the biggest dick in Johnny’s eyes; it was evident that he cared about you and that thought alone was the only reason he let Yeonjun take you with him. He knew you'd be safe, and that's all that mattered to him.

Wooyoung got into the drivers’ seat, being the only sober one of the bunch, and waited for Yeonjun to take a seat too.  

The drive was rather quiet. Yeonjun kept looking back at you to check if you were okay and Wooyoung noticed as he checked his mirrors.  

“You really love her don’t you.” Wooyoung asks looking at his friend.

“I do.”

“I don’t know what you did, and I’m assuming you did something.” Wooyoung says clicking his tongue before he continues. “But fix it.”

“I’m trying.” Yeonjun sighs staring out the window.

“Trying how?” Wooyoung asks checking his mirrors. He noticed a black BMW trailing closely behind them with no one other car on the streets and frowned, but decided to keep his eyes on the road ahead of him.

“I went to therapy yesterday.”  

“Therapy?”

“Yeah…”

“Well…seeing you tonight you clearly need some extra sessions.”

Yeonjun’s head snapped into Wooyoung direction but when he noticed the playful look in his eyes all he could do was laugh with him.  

Wooyoung checked his mirrors after he took a left to your house and noticed how the black BMW was still trailing behind him. His smile faltered and he nudged Yeonjun.

“Dude…I think we’re being followed…” Wooyoung says nodding to his rear-view mirror.  

“What?” Yeonjun asks as he looks in the mirror, followed by a look over his shoulder.

“Am I the drunk one, or are you?” Yeonjun chuckles relaxing in his seat.

Wooyoung shrugged, deciding to let it go, and just as he was about to turn the corner to your apartment building, the black BMW took the opposite turn, making Wooyoung relax in his seat again.

Yeonjun kept staring at you in the reflection of the window. He didn’t know how you would react the next morning so he decided he wouldn’t stick around to find out.

After he carried you inside of your apartment, he set you down on your bed with the help of Wooyoung opening every door for him. Being in here felt different than before. Your house was messier than usual, and it wasn't like he could just crawl in bed next to you to hold you as you slept off your intoxicated state.  

He changed you into clean clothes and even got rid of your false eyelashes for you. You were still asleep but you did whine a few times before he was able to tuck you in. He sighed, kissing your forehead, and wrote you a small note. Leaving it on your bedside table before he went back to the living room, seeing Wooyoung patiently wait for him so the two of them could leave.

“Thanks for waiting and putting up with me all night.” Yeonjun smiled apologetically as he held out his hand.

Wooyoung took a hold of his hand as Yeonjun helped him get up from the couch, and he snickered.

“Ah don’t mention it. We’re even now.” Wooyoung says with a wink.

“For what?” Yeonjun asks raising his eyebrow.

“For kissing her, remember.” Wooyoung says as he made his way to your front door.

“Right. Let’s never speak of that again.” Yeonjun says clinging on to Wooyoung’s shoulder as they walk out of your apartment.  

“Deal.”  

Your alarm went off, waking you from your hibernation at 10 AM.  

That’s strange? You didn’t set an alarm clock.  

You keep your eyes closed, feeling around the bed for your phone to turn the obnoxious sound off when it suddenly hit you that you were in your own bed.  

Your eyes shoot open out of shock and bits and pieces from last night are starting to come back to you.  

You got drunk, you got absolutely baked and then you ended up in Johnny’s bed to sleep it off but how the fuck did you get home?

You jolt upwards, feeling a pounding headache come to the surface as you look around.  

Everything looks normal. You were dressed in an oversized t-shirt; your clothes were neatly folded on your dresser and even your make-up was off.

There is no way in hell you did all that by yourself…

You get up slowly, trying not to lose your balance and right at the moment you stretched your body, your gaze falls on a note on your bedside table.

Your eyes widen when you recognize the cursive handwriting and you hold your breath as you read the note.  

I hope you’re feeling better,

Drink lots of water and try to eat something more nutritious than instant noodles ok?

Yeonjun.

You keep reading the words over and over again but your mind couldn’t comprehend the fact that he was here, in your apartment, and helped you change out of your party wear.

Well, fuck.

You rake your hand through your hair and sigh not knowing what to do with this information.

How did he know where you were? And why did he come to get you?

A million questions ran through your mind but you weren’t exactly ready to talk to him about it so you dial the only reliable eye witness you remember being there, Ryujin.

[Y/N, 10.04 AM]: Please fill me in on the blocks of memory missing from my brain. Why the fuck did Yeonjun take me home. I’m so lost.

[Ryujin, 10:05 AM]: Good morning to you too lmaoo

[Ryujin, 10:05 AM]: Dude, it was like a kdrama.  

[Y/N, 10.05 AM]: What now????

[Ryujin, 10:06 AM]: Idk how Yeonjun figured out that you were there but he basically made a big ass scene and argued with Johnny since he wouldn’t let Yeonjun in at first but then things got so soft and cute. Like he caressed your cheek and carried you to the car. You even told him it was ok for him to take you home.

[Y/N, 10.06 AM]: I did!?

[Y/N, 10.06 AM]: Omg…wtf…I’m speechless.

[Ryujin, 10:07 AM]: Is there a problem? Aren’t you two a thing?

Well shit, what do you reply to that?

You let Ryujin’s words and Yeonjun’s actions register to you a bit before you could even think of a response to send her.

The past week has been hell. You’ve been going to class with an empty mind and soul, basically living on automatic pilot. You didn’t allow yourself to feel cause if you did, you were sure you were going to have a meltdown.

You couldn’t handle losing Yeonjun and Mia in one day, so you kind of pretended it never happened.

You blocked both of them from your socials and hung out with different people. Even though Soobin checked in on you and you on him, you hadn’t seen him.

You guess that seeing each other would spark a conversation both of you weren’t ready to have; so, you actively avoided each other.

You both needed time, and you also had different ways of dealing with your feelings.

Whereas Soobin stayed home and hung out with the guys, you went out and got drunk on schooldays.  

In the past week you had done a lot of thinking. You tried to justify both Mia and Yeonjun’s actions but no matter how hard you tried; you just couldn’t see it from their point of view. Though you do realize that they didn’t have malicious intent, you were more sad than angry.

Truth is you missed them, but you didn’t know how to move past this either, especially with Yeonjun.

Last night's events changed something for you though, and you needed to talk about it with someone who knew exactly what you were going through and the only person who fit that description was Soobin.

After replying to Ryujin with a short ‘I’ll talk to you about it later” you asked Soobin to meet you in a bakery near Campus for Brunch and he agreed.

You knew you could lure him to any spot that sold bread so here you were, 1,5 hours later. Sitting at a window seat table while you waited for Soobin to arrive. 

You quickly checked your appearance in the front camera of your phone. You did your best to hide the bags under your eyes with some much-needed concealer and even used eye drops to subside the swelling and lingering redness.

If Soobin found out what you did last night, he’d kill you, and that’s an understatement.

As Soobin walked into the bakery, the door made a ringing sound and you immediately looked up. He was dressed in a white t-shirt paired with his favorite denim jacket. He looked tired, the dark bags under his eyes being a dead give-away to the lack of sleep he had gotten in the past week. It made your heart ache for him and suddenly you want to kick yourself for not making an effort to see him sooner.

His eyes found yours and he gave you a sweet smile as he was glad to see you after a week of separation. You got up to hug him without a word and the two of you just stand there for a while, wrapped up in each other’s embrace. The much-needed comfort made you close your eyes as your cheek rested on his chest and he sighed, patting your hair before he gave you a kiss on your forehead while letting go of you slowly.

You both sat down and stared at each other for a few seconds. He assessed your appearance and frowned.  

“Did you lose weight?” he asks a little concerned.

You shrug, not wanting to tell him about your loss of appetite. “How are you?” you ask, trying to change the subject.

“You first.”

“No, you first.” You insist this time, your eyes widening as a threat.

“Ugh fine.” He sighed, knowing that you could go at it for literal hours.

“I feel like shit. I miss Mia. I miss Yeonjun hyung, but I can’t forgive or forget about what happened.”

“Same.” You rest your elbow on the table so your hand could support your heavy head. You rubbed your forehead and bit your lip, contemplating if you should tell Soobin about what happened last night.

“I saw him last night," you confess.

“What? Where?” Soobin was surprised, to say the least. He didn’t think you’d be ready for that so soon.

“Well, technically he saw me, I didn’t see him,” you explain.

Soobin pouted to show his confusion and that’s when you start rambling. You told him everything you could recall but he stopped you midway.

“Why were you passed out?”

“Because I mixed,” you say avoiding eye contact as you sip on your iced coffee.

“Mixed what? Drinks?”

“No…I…accidentally…hypothetically…might have joined the crackheads.”  

Soobin’s eyes nearly popped out of his skull and he raised his voice at you without second thought.

“You did WHAT!?”  

People in the café were giving him looks and embarrassment flushed to his ears before he averted his attention back to you, speaking to you in a more hushed tone.

“Y/n what the fuck,” he whisper-screamed. “Why the fuck would you resort to drugs.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose.” You breathe. “I guess the whole situation of Yeonjun basically planning to abandon me before he returned, sparked some childhood trauma of my dad leaving for the army. It felt the same way and I never want to feel like that again so I just…got drunk and…stumbled into the garden and ended up with a blunt in my mouth before I could think about it.”

Saying it out loud was a big step, because you hadn’t gotten as far as making that connection yet, but you realize it could very much be right. You had a fear of abandonment, and Yeonjun basically confessing that he was planning to never return if it wasn’t for his housekeeper telling him that he should go back didn’t quite help with that hypothesis.  

Soobin sighed, he felt bad for you but he still felt like it wasn’t a valid reason for you to turn to drugs, even if it was just weed. People with traumas are more susceptive to addiction and he didn’t want that for you, so he’d make sure you’d never go near it again.

“Just never do it again.” He says sternly, giving you his warning glare.

You make eye contact again and sigh in relief, nodding sheepishly as you chew on your straw.

“Y/n, I hope you realize that healthy relationships shouldn’t feel like what Yeonjun hyung has given you until now.”  

Soobin’s words made you look up at him again. Ouch. That hurt. But he’s right.

The bad started to outweigh the good a long time ago and you knew it.

“It’s clear that he loves you, and he explained he wanted to stay away from you out of love and fear to drag you down with him but…the way he communicates. The way he thinks he resolves issues by lying about them. It’s not…it’s just not it. You can’t fix him y/n. He has to do that on his own.”

Soobin’s advice was never the type of advice that comforted you, because Soobin only told you the truth, and the truth hurt.  

Because the truth is that even if you were to forgive Yeonjun for lying to you and manipulating you, how could you get through to him when he thinks his decisions are justified because they were made out of love for you?  

He left you because he loved you.

He left you because you deserved better.

But he still left you while making you believe that he wouldn’t leave forever, and even though he did come back, the fact that he withheld that information from you for whatever reason he had; still broke your trust.

“I’m tired of giving him chances.”

“Then don’t give him any.”  

“Yeah, that’s easier said than done Soobin. My feelings for him don’t just have an on and off switch. I love him but we’ve had a 10 years marriage worth of drama and we’ve only been seeing each other for 3 and a half months, and he was gone for most of it.”  

“Yeah, that’s some shit.” Soobin says as he looks around the café to try and organize his thoughts.  

His eye landed on the table next to him because he felt like he was being watched.

A man dressed in a black suit with a sharp jawline and slicked-back dark hair was typing throughout your whole conversation, but when both of you stopped talking, the man stopped typing.

He made eye contact with the middle-aged man for a split second and Soobin’s gaze stopped at the shiny silver pen in the front pocket of the man’s suit. It clearly read C.E Holdings Group.

You were staring out the window yourself, so nothing was registering to you, but when the mystery man’s phone lit up, Soobin’s eyes darted to the caller ID.

Again, with the C.E. Soobin’s blinked a couple of times and he quickly averted his attention back to you; trying not to be obvious.

C.E? Choi Enterprises? Could he be right or is he just being paranoid?

Suddenly Yeonjun’s monologue to you from that godforsaken dark day popped back into Soobin’s brain as he reminisced about what Yeonjun said to you in an attempt to make you understand why he lied to you about all of it.

“Y/n you’re not getting it…being in the know could get you hurt. If malicious people were after the company, or if my dad had enemies, I didn’t know about… I could never forgive myself if something happened to you because of me.”

“Soobin, are you okay? You look paler than usual,” you ask cocking your eyebrow at him.

Soobin broke out of his trance and nodded absentmindedly.

If you were being followed there was only one way to find out.

“Let’s get our food to go, the weather is still nice. We can eat it at the park,” he says getting up all of a sudden. He didn’t want to tell you yet because you’d freak out. So, this was the only way to get you to leave without noticing something was up.  

“….Okay…..” he was acting weird, but you decided to comply with him given the circumstances. You got up, brushing past him to get your order to go.  

“Weirdo,” you whisper under your breath.  

Soobin’s change in attitude was odd.  

The two of you walked around the park and he was super restless for some reason. He was constantly looking over his shoulder and you just about had enough.

“Let’s sit down somewhere already.” You complain and Soobin snapped out of his trance, nodding quietly before sitting down at a bench with a view over the lake.

“What is wrong with you? Is it because of Mia? Why won’t you talk to me about her? You keep avoiding the topic and preach about Yeonjun and me when you’re the one with a two-year-old relationship on the line.” You say as you hand him his croissant.  

Your words might have come out a little harsh, but Soobin knew your intentions. He snapped out of his paranoia once again and looked at your concerned facial expression while he took the pastry from your hold.

You sat there and talked about everything. Soobin was able to relax a bit more given the fact that the guy from before was nowhere to be found, which made him re-think his theory of being followed.  

During your talk it was clear that Soobin missed Mia, and that he regretted not communicating with her more before he broke things off with her. Despite it all, he wasn’t ready to look past the situation yet and you completely understood; because you felt the exact same way.

“She hasn’t reached out to me, and I haven’t seen her in class either," you say as you rest your head on his shoulder. Your hangover was still present, so you were getting tired, and Soobin was quick to notice.

“Maybe it’s time for me to talk to her…alone.”  

“You’re ready for that?” you ask lifting your head off of his shoulder to look at him.

“I honestly just want to know if she’s okay…after all, it’s not like I stopped loving her.”  

You nod understandingly. An involuntary yawn escapes your lips and you close your eyes, placing your head back on Soobin’s shoulder. You sat in the park for hours and hours on end and it was already past 5.

He looked down at you and chuckled, patting your head in comfort. “Let’s get you home.”

You were grateful for the ride home since you didn’t even have to ask for it. It’s the little things Soobin does that made you realize just how lucky you are to have him.

After all, the reason he broke things off with Mia was not so much about their issues, but about your issues with her and you knew that even though you didn’t know how, things were going to have to get back to normal with Mia and Soobin because you couldn’t stand to see him in pain like this.

Soobin pulled up to your apartment building shortly after, stopping as close to the entrance as possible.

“Thanks for the ride,” you say as you unbuckle your seatbelt. You go in for a clumsy hug and he chuckled, kissing the top of your head before you open the car door to get out.

“No prob-” he stopped mid-sentence when his eye landed on a black BMW with tinted windows that he’s never seen before. The car was parked across the lot, and it wasn't exactly blending in with the cheaper cars around. When Soobin spotted the BMW, the window rolled up and he swore he saw the same slicked-back hairdo from the man he saw before in the café.

“U ok?” you ask as you hold the car door open, assessing a rather frazzled looking Soobin.

“Hey, should I come inside with you?” He suddenly asks, his face held an expression you couldn’t quite read so you gave him a look. “Eh, no. I think I’m just gonna sleep this headache off.”

“Oh…well…if anything happens you call me ok.”

“Why would anything hap-”

“Just call me, Ok.”

You frown at his once again, super odd behavior and nod. “Ok...I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see you…” Soobin says absentmindedly. He eyed the car a little longer and it drove off, making him relax a little more in his seat.

You closed the door and walk into your apartment building and Soobin watched you as you did just in case.

He grabbed his phone, dialing the only number that made sense to him right now, and to his surprise, he picked up almost immediately.

“Yeonjun hyung are you home? We need to talk.”

“What do you mean followed?” Yeonjun asks immediately alerted by Soobin’s story.

“Do you happen to have one of those company pens around here?”  Soobin says as he made his way to Yeonjun’s desk to skim the surface.

Yeonjun raised his eyebrows, getting up to retrieve the silver pen with black engraving from his drawer to hand to Soobin.

He assessed the tiny object and turned it to read the engraving. C.E Holdings Group. “Fuck, it’s the same.”

“And you LEFT her by herself!?” Yeonjun remarks as he rakes his hand through his hair in distress.

“I didn’t know for sure, I thought I was just being paranoid but when I saw the black car with those tinted windows outside of the building I freaked.”  

He started pacing around his room with large eyes.

“Wait, a car?” Was it…”

“A black BMW” they both say in unison, and suddenly the air got thick.

“You’ve seen the car?”  

“Yes, last night when Wooyoung and I drove y/n home, Wooyoung mentioned that he felt like we were being followed by a black BMW.”

“Oh my fucking god.” Soobin says throwing his head back in frustration.

“Why the fuck would they follow her? And who is he working for? What the fuck is going on. I knew I shouldn’t have come back, look at what’s happening.” Yeonjun was rambling, throwing all of his thoughts on the table. He sat down on his bed, burying his face in his hands as his pupils darted back and forth.

“Hyung…calm down.” Soobin tries to comfort Yeonjun by putting a hand on his shoulder but he should’ve known better.

“Don’t tell me to calm down.” Yeonjun bites back. “I could have prevented this.”

Soobin sighed, hating to admit that if he was in Yeonjun’s shoes; he would’ve done the exact same things to protect Mia. Soobin didn’t realize the scale of it all. How much shit was on the line and how different Yeonjun’s world was from theirs, but this changed everything.

Like Yeonjun once said, it was a matter of billions and people would do crazy things to get to those billions; but what did you have to do with that? Did they want to get to Yeonjun through you? Blackmail him? Kill him? Kill you?  

Soobin’s mind was basically reciting every K-drama he has ever seen and he was about to combust before Yeonjun snapped him out of his thoughts.

“You have to go back,” he states looking at Soobin. “She might not be safe; we have to tell her.”

“Oh yeah, let’s just tell her she’s being shadowed by some dude, that won’t freak her out.”

“It’s better than saying nothing. I will literally sleep in front of her door if I have to Soobin. We have to find out who he’s working for, and what he wants. She’s not safe, we’re not safe.”

“What the fuck did our lives turn into.” Soobin says letting out an exasperated sigh.

Yeonjun bit the inside of his cheek nervously as he kept thinking about what he possibly could have missed when he was investigating the situation back home. Was it his mother? Was he wrong about her? Or was it some random foe in the company that he didn’t know about?  

Hearing the boys laugh in the living room made him snap out of his thoughts and he looked at the door of his bedroom, realizing how many people he cared for could be in potential danger.  

“The boys can’t know.” Yeonjun says. “We protect them from this. We don’t need more targets on anyone's backs. We have to keep them as far away from this shit as possible.”  

Soobin nodded, agreeing with Yeonjun. “Let’s go to y/n together alright. She won’t listen to me; you know how she is.” Soobin says as he looks at Yeonjun and he nodded, rubbing his forehead in agony.

Yeonjun was completely out of it. His mind was doing cartwheels as he freaked out on the inside.  

“Hyung, it’s gonnabe ok. I’m with you on this.” Soobin says holding out his hand for Yeonjun.

Yeonjun looked up, somehow glad that Soobin and he were looking past their issues to solve this mystery, but he couldn’t be glad about anything right now, given the circumstances.

Yeonjun grabs Soobin’s hand and Soobin pulled him up from the bed, looking into Yeonjun’s equally dark and tired eyes. “Let’s go”

The sun had set for a while now.  

It was past 8 and Mia was fidgeting with her sleeves, contemplating if she should ring your doorbell.

She came all the way to your house but somehow, she didn’t think things through fully.

What if you didn’t want to see her? What if you were just as mad as before?

She built up the courage to ring your doorbell and no later than 10 seconds you opened the door, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes before you realized who it was.

“Mia?” you say a little dumbfounded.

“C-can I come in?” she asked with sad eyes.

You bite your lip, and nod, stepping aside so she could walk into your apartment.  

For some odd reason you had the feeling as if Mia’s eyes weren’t the only ones looking at you and as she steps inside of your apartment, you skim the hallways with your eyes, but there was no one in sight.

You stand there frozen for a second before you turn your attention to Mia, closing the door behind you.  

The silence was awkward when you poured a cup of her favorite mandarin green tea for her as she was sitting on your couch, waiting for you to sit down with her so you could talk.  

In the meantime, Soobin and Yeonjun had raced their way over to your house, and to their horror, the black BMW had returned.  

Yeonjun was the first one to run out of Soobin's car to inspect the BMW, he had no idea what he was running towards, how dangerous It would be, and what could happen if he exposed whoever was in there but he didn’t care.

He hit the hood of the car and tried to look inside but the vehicle was empty.  

Soobin jogged after Yeonjun after having parked his car on the sidewalk. “Empty?”

Yeonjun nodded, kicking a dent into the front car door out of frustration.  

“He can’t be far.”

You sat down with Mia, handing her the cup and just as she was about to speak, a weird cracking noise at your front door alerted both of you.

“Is…someone trying to break your lock?” Mia says with wide eyes. You look at her in panic and put your finger over your mouth, telling her to stop talking.

You get up with the cup of boiling hot tea in your hand, and tiptoe your way to your front door to look through the peephole. Mia got up as well, watching you like a hawk as she trailed behind you.

Your heart dropped to your stomach as you see an unknown man trying to force your lock open and you cover your mouth to suppress a gasp.

You don’t know what went through your mind but you didn’t have time to think. 

You open your door with a fast swing, startling the unknown intruder in the process.

“Y/N!” Mia yelled trying to pull you back but you didn’t budge.

He reached into his pocket to retrieve something shiny, but before he could do anything, you throw the cup of hot water in his face, making him groan and drop his pockets’ contents on the floor.  

He ran for it, and right that second the elevator doors open across the hall, and you see Yeonjun and Soobin with balled fists and alarmed facial expressions run over to you.

You made eye contact with both of them as adrenaline rushed through your veins, everything happened so damn fast that you couldn’t process how or why this was happening. And why Soobin and Yeonjun magically appeared at the right timing.

“Stay with them.” Yeonjun tells Soobin in panic as he ran after the perpetrator in the opposite direction without hesitation.

“YEONJUN NO!” You yell. You wanted to run after him as well, but Soobin stops you by blocking you with his body, shocked to see a frozen Mia behind you in the door way of your apartment.

Your neighbors came out of their apartments to see what the fuss was about, and suddenly you felt your head spinning. People were gathering outside of their homes in confusion as they talked amongst themselves, but nothing registered to you as adrenaline kept coursing through your veins.

“Let me go!” you protest, but Soobin doesn’t move. It didn’t take long for you to give up the fight and you look to the floor, seeing a cracked iPhone lying next to a knife and suddenly shivers ran down your spine at the thought of what he could have done to you with that weapon.  

“S-Soobin what’s going on.” Mia says as her eyes found his.

Soobin sighed, turning around to talk to the crowd that had formed in the halls. “Nothing to see here people, please go back inside.”

“We need to call the cops” Mia says. “Was it a coincidence that you showed up here?”

Soobin shook his head, retrieving the phone from the floor as your neighbors went back inside with confused faces. A few of them lingered around and to your relief you see Yeonjun come back up the fire escape.

“I lost the motherfucker.” He shouts in anger walking into your apartment as he brushed passed you, exploring every room just to be sure. “He drove off so fast there was no way I could catch up.”

You were completely dazed and out of it, all you heard was white noise even though Soobin and Mia were talking to each other and when Yeonjun came back from inspecting your bedroom, he ran to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and trapping you into his embrace.

“Oh my god, thank god you’re okay,” he says obviously overcome with emotion as he held you close to his chest. His hand was on your head, trying to comfort you and it worked. The recent events finally got to you as you melt in his hold and you start to tremble as the shock in your body gets replaced by realization.

This could have ended a lot differently.

Soobin closes your front door and put his arm around Mia who was just as shocked by what happened. He held her hand, intertwining their fingers as he kissed her temple. “Are you ok?”  

She nodded, sighing as she let go of Soobin, she wanted answers and fast.

“Is someone going to tell us what the fuck is going on?” She says looking from you to Yeonjun to Soobin and then back to you with worried eyes.  

Yeonjun reluctantly let go of you. He didn’t know where to start because everything happened so fast. 30 minutes ago, he was in his room, not suspecting a thing before Soobin barged in with his crazy but justified assumptions.

“When we were in the bakery, I saw a man watching us. And when I dropped you off at home, I saw a car with someone inside that looked like him. That same car was following Yeonjun and Wooyoung last night as well.” Soobin explains as he made his way to you. He held you by your shoulders, inspecting you from head to toe.

“Did he touch you?”

You shake your head and sigh but Mia chimes in, in an attempt to lighten the mood. “You guys should’ve seen her, she turned full G.I Joe on the man and threw her tea in his face.”  

You manage to let out a chuckle and sit down on the armrest of your couch trying to wrap your mind around what Soobin just said.

Yeonjun couldn’t even think of cracking a smile. Too lost in thought to be fully present.

“What does he want? Who is he? This can’t be random?” You ask looking at Yeonjun with hopeful eyes. For once you wanted him to tell you the truth.

“No,” Yeonjun says. “Because it isn’t”

“Huh?” Mia says a little annoyed at their vagueness. “We should have called the cops.”

“No, it’s…” Soobin hesitated but continued after Yeonjun gave him a small nod. “I saw the Choi Enterprise's watermark on a pen in his suits’ front pocket at the bakery.”

Your eyes shoot to Soobin’s in shock. “That’s why you wanted to leave and why you were acting so weird?”

Soobin nodded guiltily and you scoff. “Why didn’t you tell me.”

“Because I wasn’t sure, but the pen, the phone it all….” Soobin stopped mid-sentence and all of you looked to him in confusion.

He retrieved something from his pocket and showed it to you. “He dropped his fucking phone.”

“Oh my god.” Yeonjun says walking up to Soobin to check out the device.

All of you walk over to your dinner table and sit down, trying different passcodes to unlock the phone but it was to no avail. After having blocked access for more than 15 minutes you give up until the phone started to buzz against the surface of your wooden table.

It was an anonymous caller ID this time, and all of you look to Yeonjun.

“Well…is anyone going to get that?” Mia says as she looked at the rest of you.

Soobin was nervously biting his nails while you just stared at the phone.

Yeonjun gulped before he took the phone from the table, sliding his finger over the screen to accept the call.

He put the phone on speaker and stayed silent.

“Status report?”  

"...Hello?"

All of your eyes widened at the same time and Yeonjun ended the call immediately. Shivers ran down your spine and you swallow harshly as you fixate your gaze on Yeonjun.

That voice, you’ve heard it before, and you knew exactly who it belonged to.

“No…” he says as his heart drops. “This can’t be her.”

“Yeonjun…” you try to hold his hand but he pulls away, all eyes were on him as he got up, you were worried for him and uncertain of what to do. 

He couldn’t take this, not after everything else that happened.  

He looked completely lost as disbelief washed over him, he bit his lip; choking back tears that welled up in his eyes.

“It can’t be Lita.”  

Chapter 13.

[hockeylvr59]

Secret Love Part 20 || Cale Makar

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: We’re in the home stretch now. Let me know what you think. 

Warnings: cursing, smut (edging, unprotected)

Word Count: 3,326

~~~~~~~~

With the last week or so being a strain on both you and Cale emotionally, you knew that you wanted to do something to make him smile now that things were finally looking up. 

Cale’s ex, Sara, must have had a falling out with one of her friends because yesterday a snapchatted image of a paternity test had surfaced online with the comment ‘time for y’all to stop accusing him of being the bad guy when he’s the one that was being cheated on for six months’, proving once and for all that Cale wasn’t the baby’s dad. 

Cale had called you, relief filling his tone. If the story had to be drawn out and his privacy violated for a second time, at least it was in a beneficial way and now that chapter was officially closed. It wasn’t until you got past the emotional hurdles that had been thrown in front of you that you realized July was flying by and soon Cale would be heading back to Denver. This summer was supposed to be about taking advantage of every moment, and lately you’d gotten a little off track. 

Checking with Cale to make sure that he didn’t have any plans for the weekend, you put a call in to a friend from school who was working for a rental agency in BC. Ten minutes later you had confirmation on a lakefront rental for a long weekend and a promise that if you sent her a list, she’d pick up groceries and drop them off for you. It was already mid-week so you threw together a bag, browsing online for more plans for a romantic getaway. 

____

Friday morning you found yourself driving over to the Makar residence to wait for Cale to get home from training. Laura was still home as you let yourself in the open front door and when she saw you she almost immediately jumped up off the chair she was sitting in to hug you. 

“Y/N...I didn’t know you were coming over this morning dear. Can I make you breakfast?” 

“I already ate, but I’d love a cup of tea.” You replied, smiling. “I uh...I came to steal your son for the weekend once he gets home.” 

“Oh really?” She inquired, moving to put water on for tea. “He didn’t mention it.” 

“That’s because it’s a surprise.” You shrugged. “I decided we needed a weekend to unwind from everything. Summer is moving really fast.” Her smile grew and she leaned against the counter, her own mug in her hands. 

“He’s gonna love that.” She murmured. “Seeing the two of you two together just makes me so happy, I hope you know that. This is what I’ve always wanted for him. And for you. The fact that you’ve found it in each other is just a bonus.” 

The front door opened and the sound of shoes hitting the floor of the entryway quickly followed before Cale walked into the kitchen to grab a Gatorade. He was drenched in sweat, his chest on display. 

“Morning mom…” He murmured, retreating almost to the doorway before he realized that his mom wasn’t alone. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked as he closed the distance between you, leaning in for a quick kiss. 

“You’re all sweaty.” You whined, crinkling your nose. Laughing, Cale pretended to move in to hug you before pulling away. “Don’t be a jerk.” You chastised. “Go shower and pack a bag for the weekend Mr.” His eyebrows raised and he eyed you, taking a sip of his drink before opening his mouth to speak.

“Shower first, questions after...you’re stinking up my kitchen Cale.” Laura interrupted Cale’s attempt to question you causing him to roll his eyes. 

“Don’t forget your trunks and like one nicer outfit...the rest can be lazy.” You called, giggling as you heard him racing up the stairs mumbling about the two of you ganging up on him again. 

“The way the two of you can flip from being romantic to the best friends you’ve always been just amazes me.” Laura murmured as she poured your cup of tea. “It seems so natural and I suppose it is.” She clarified more to herself than to you. 

As you watched Laura clean up the kitchen a bit while drinking your tea, a question popped into your head. 

“Hey, mom...do you have any cardboard jewelry gift boxes?” The question made her pause in thought before she held up a finger and disappeared into the garage. When she came back, she tossed a small box to you. 

“Will that work?” She asked, curiosity filling her expression. 

“That’s perfect. Thanks.” You grinned, reaching over to your purse to pull out the key from the front pocket, tucking it away safely in the box. “And before you ask, yes that’s what you think it is, no it’s not for the reason you think.” Laura let out a deep breath and you glanced back at the stairs to make sure that Cale was still occupied. 

“Yes, I’m giving Cale his own house key. But not with the suggestion of moving in together.” You assured her. “I just...after these last couple weeks...I want to be sure that he knows he’s always welcome. I don’t want him to feel like he can only come over in an emergency. I want him to know that if that’s where he wants to be, that that’s where I want him to be. Whether I’m home or not he’s welcome in my home just like he is yours.” Laura’s expression was soft and she moved to hug you again. 

“I’m somewhat relieved…” She whispered. “And it’s not that I’m against the two of you talking about taking that step...I just…” 

“You’re not quite ready for me to steal him completely yet...I understand.” 

“If I were ready for anyone to steal him it would be you…I just...” She admitted. 

“Need more than a week and a half to get used to that idea.” You finished. “We’re not there yet. You’ve got some time.” You promised. 

“Everything good down here?” Cale’s voice appeared out of nowhere and you pulled back from Laura, quickly trying to mask your emotions. 

“Everything is great.” You confirmed, turning to tuck yourself into Cale’s side. “Are you ready to hit the road?” 

“I don’t know what we’re doing...but let’s do it.” Cale agreed, snagging a kiss before hugging his mom goodbye. 

As you headed out the front door with Cale, you missed Laura whisper, “I think I have less time than you realize dear.” 

____

After letting Cale load his bag into the trunk of your car, you climbed behind the wheel, hooking your phone up as gps and for music. 

“I hope you cooled down properly because this is a bit of a drive.” You teasingly warned, glancing over at where Cale had folded himself into your passenger seat. 

Seven hours later, when you finally pulled into the driveway of your destination, Cale’s sarcasm could probably be heard from space. 

“A bit of a drive?” He questioned. “Calgary to Kelowna is more than ‘a bit of a drive.’” 

“Oh hush...like you didn’t sleep half of it.” You threw back, popping the trunk so that you could grab your bag and Cale his. “Now c’mon. We have a little over 48 hours to enjoy alone together in this lakefront paradise.” 

Entering the code to the lock on the front door, you pushed it open, your eyes going wide. Your friend had told you that she knew of the perfect place and boy did she deliver. Beautiful hardwood floors stretched throughout the house and everything felt light and airy and luxurious. Walking through to the second bedroom which was clearly the master, you dropped your bag on the bed eyeing the huge shower on the wall to your right. 

Backtracking back to the kitchen you smiled, first at the modern indoor space, but then your grin grew as you took in the view of the lake out the back windows. It was perfect. Everything about this place was perfect. 

By the time you finished your quick survey, Cale had made his way inside, and you watched as he took it all in. 

“Damn…” He mumbled appreciatively. 

“Yeah. I think this will suit us just fine for a couple days of unwinding.” You agreed, your hand rubbing up over Cale’s back. 

“Don’t know what I did to deserve you.” Cale breathed, arm draped around your waist as he pulled you into a soft kiss. “This is amazing. You’ve seriously been superwoman these last few weeks. Dealing with everything and then you planned this...I’m just...I’m blown away.” 

“I love you.” You stated simply. “We deserve something wonderful after getting past all the bullshit. And a weekend away seemed like a nice escape. We can stay in, we can go exploring, whatever you want. We have a reservation at a winery for dinner tomorrow but other than that the plans are open.” 

“So if I wanted to keep you in bed all weekend?” Cale inquired, mischievous smirk on his face. 

“As long as we don’t miss dinner I’d say it’s a shame we didn’t enjoy the private beach but I’m amenable.” You replied with a shrug. “But maybe we should start with some food tonight...I’m sure you’re hungry.” You suggested, pecking his lips before pulling away to open the fridge. Everything you’d asked for was present and accounted for. 

Pulling the steaks and vegetables from the fridge, along with a bottle of wine, you set about finding everything you needed to make dinner while Cale gaped at you from where you’d left him. 

“There’s food?” The words slipped from his lips, drawing a giggle from your throat. 

“I have people.” You winked, cutting up potatoes, green beans, and carrots. “Want to make yourself useful and go start the grill?” You questioned, reaching for some foil to load the vegetables into along with some oil and seasoning. It wouldn’t take long to grill up dinner and you finished your inside prep before opening the bottle of wine, filling two glasses. 

Passing off the steaks and vegetables to Cale, you stepped out further on the back porch just enjoying the view. It was spectacular, better than perfect and you couldn’t wait to go dip your toes in the water along the sandy beach. 

Dipping back inside for plates and silverware, you settled in at the outdoor table waiting for Cale to finish up at the grill. When the food was done, the two of you settled in to eat. 

“Thanks for manning the grill.” You stated, sipping at your wine. “These steaks came out perfectly.” 

“We make a pretty good team.” Cale agreed, his gaze soft as he looked back and forth between you and the view. Cale’s calf hooked around your leg as you ate and the physical contact made you feel warm and wanted. Once plates were cleared, you sent him to clean the grill while you quickly did the dishes. As you rinsed off the last wine glass, you felt Cale’s arm slide around your waist, pulling you firmly against him. 

He didn’t need to speak a word for you to feel the shift in mood and you leaned back into him, your damp hand sliding up into the hair at the back of his neck. His lips on your ear and then along the column of your throat signaled exactly what he wanted and you let out a pleased hum in response. Dragging you to bed, Cale kept you there for the remainder of the night, his body showing you just how much he appreciated this trip, appreciated you. 

It made you feel even closer to him in every way and it served as the perfect way to prove to yourselves and each other that nothing had managed to shake the bond you’d already formed. You’d had so many different types of sex in the two months you’d been together, but it was this kind you loved the most. The slow, easy, completely unrushed push and pull of your bodies against each other. Cale not giving up until you were a puddle of flesh and bones beneath him. Passing out from exhaustion and pleasure, your naked bodies entwined. 

_______

The sound you woke up to the following morning was not one you’d expected. The sound of rain battering the roof made you shiver, causing you to snuggle further into Cale’s arms. Your movements caused your boyfriend to stir and he nuzzled his nose into your hair. 

“Is that rain?” He mumbled quietly. 

“Certainly sounds like it.” You agreed. 

“Guess I really do get to keep you in bed.” You could feel his smirk against your head and you groaned softly. “But how ��bout I go make us some breakfast first?” He amended, his body stretching out beside you. 

“I mean I’m not going to argue with that.” You whispered, though the bed was certainly cooler without his presence in it much to your dismay. 

Breakfast in bed with Cale was a first in your relationship, and it felt incredibly romantic to be wrapped in just Cale’s shirt as he fed you bites of pancake and bacon from his spot behind you. 

“We should do this more often.” You breathed, the weight of the world slowly lifting off of your shoulders. 

“Of course sweet girl.” Cale agreed, his hand sliding down along your stomach as he moved the empty plate to the bedside table. You assumed he was going to make good on his implied promise, expecting his fingers to continue their journey down your body. Instead, his hand stayed put and he reached for the remote to turn the tv on, flipping channels. 

Though the show he picked was interesting, you found yourself unable to focus with the occasional kiss dropped onto your neck or shoulder and the mindless strokes of his fingers along your stomach. 

“Cale…” You whimpered his name, your thighs squeezed together to try and alleviate the pressure. 

“Hmm…?” He breathed. 

“Are you gonna touch me or just tease me all day?” You inquired, trying not to squirm against him. 

“Thought you’d be sore and tired after last night…” Cale mused, though his tone gave away that he knew exactly what he was doing. 

“I mean I am…” You admitted. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want it.” 

“Yeah sweet girl...what is it that you want?” 

“Touch me Cale.” You pleaded, a hiss slipping from your throat as Cale’s teeth scraped along your neck. 

“You gotta be more specific sweetheart. Tell me exactly what you want.” He prodded. This demanding side of Cale was one you hadn’t really seen before and though a part of you wanted to tell him to fuck off and just fuck you, a larger part was curious to see just how far he would take this. 

“Your fingers.” You attempted to clarify, the fog of lust slowly creeping over you. 

“My fingers are touching you sunshine…” He teased, drumming the digits against your stomach. 

“My clit Cale. Fuck please rub my clit.” You hadn’t put underwear on today, so it took hardly any effort for Cale to part your legs enough to slide his fingers exactly where you wanted them. Tossing your head back against his shoulder you arched into his fingers, your body desperate for more. “Cale...faster please.” You whined, frustrated by the slow pace he’d established. 

Although he complied, Cale was sticking strictly to what you asked for, not expanding into all of the other ways he knew to make you fall apart. It was sweet torture. 

“Cale...fuck me please…” You babbled. “I need those long fingers of yours inside me...spreading me open for your cock.” Cale groaned and it appeared he was pleased with you when he asked a direct question instead of vaguely pushing for more. 

“How many fingers do you want sweetheart?” 

“Two…” You quickly gasped out. “...No three.” You corrected. “Give me three please.” 

Spitting on his fingers, Cale worked three inside you, your pussy aching slightly as it stretched around them. 

“Look at how good your pussy takes my fingers.” Cale breathed into your ear, forcing your gaze to drop to where his fingers were pumping in and out of you. “It looks so much better taking my dick. One of these days I’m going to fuck you in front of a mirror so that you can see how well you take me.” Incoherent curses spilled from your lips at his words. When Cale got like this, it took things to another level and tightened that rubber band inside you until it would only take the slightest bit of friction to make it snap. 

Just as you felt your orgasm creeping up, Cale pulled his fingers from you leaving you gasping. 

“Tsk…” Cale chastised when you attempted to rub your legs together. “I don’t think so sweet girl. You need to ask permission to cum. I want you to beg me for your orgasm. You’re getting so greedy wanting to cum before I’m even inside you.” 

“Cale please?” You protested softly. “I’m so close. Please let me cum.” 

“Not yet love. You can wait for it.” Cale’s fingers brushed featherlight touches against your core as your body slipped away from the edge of orgasm. Only then did he fuck his fingers back inside you, bringing you close to the edge before backing off, despite your pleas to let you orgasm. 

Twice more he edged you, making you think he’d let you cum for just a split second before he pulled away. You were shaking, desperate for release. 

“Cale...fuck me please.” You begged. 

“Does my girl want my cock?”

“Fuck Cale...I need it. I need your cock inside me. I need…” You were cut off when Cale practically tossed you to the other side of the bed before shedding his boxer-briefs and climbing over you, sliding into you all the way to the hilt in one smooth thrust. 

“Uuugnnhh…” The strangled sound was all you could vocalize as you clung to Cale, his body stilled inside of you. 

“You’re so tight sweet girl. How are you always so tight no matter how many times I fuck you raw?” Cale started to rock his hips inside of you, quick and deep and you felt your eyes roll toward the back of your head as you panted for breath under him. 

Having been edged 4 times already today, it wasn’t long before you were thrashing under him, your orgasm racing toward you. 

“Ask permission sweetheart.” Cale reminded, his hand sliding between your bodies to rub your clit in time with his thrusts. 

“Cale please...wanna cum…” You gasp, tears spilling down your cheeks from trying to fight off the orgasm your body ached for. 

“Such a good girl. Asking so nicely. Taking my fingers so nicely. Taking my cock so nicely. Go ahead...cum.” 

The second Cale gave you permission, your orgasm crashed down on you, harder than you’d ever felt in your life. The sensation of Cale’s semen spilling inside of you had barely started when you felt everything go black. 

When you stirred, Cale was playing with your hair. 

“There she is.” He whispered softly. “You okay love?” Every inch of your body felt like lead and you craned your neck to see Cale’s satisfied smirk and concerned eyes. 

“You did not just make me cum so hard I blacked out…” You mumbled in disbelief. 

“Pretty sure I did.” Cale replied. “You’ve never cum that hard around me before. Was the sexiest thing ever.” He gloated. “It still sounds like it’s pouring so why don’t you take a nap before getting ready for dinner.” 

Yawning, you rolled to bury your head into Cale’s chest, still in disbelief about the orgasm he’d just given you.

[reaganann]

The first time we meet (karlxreader)

y’all may know Karl Jacobs the famous Minecraft streamer and best friends to Sapnap. Well that’s not the case for me i know him as my boyfriend but i never seen him in real life before just discord vc’s.

i’m most know for my minecraft streams too because i’m the first female faceless streamer. There’s a lot of male faceless streamers like dream,corpus,ranboo, there’s a lot more but you never see female faceless streamers but then there’s me.

Me and Karl met on Minecraft Mondays we were on the same time and ending up winning it after that me and him talked every day we became good friends then it turned into feelings so now we are dating.

We have been dating for 5 months and he has never seen my face before i have seen his but he hasn’t seen mine, I guess i’m just a insecure about my self here’s that thing i have what is called Heterochromia iridum which means the colored part of the eye (iris) is multicolored.

So i have two different eye colors I have a dark brown eye but then i have a Crystal blue eye. I always hated my eyes so i never showed my face to anyone.

Karl always wants to see my face but i tell him the same thing over and over aging which is “I don’t feel comfortable showing it” which he completely understand and never pushes me to show him.

So that brings us here we’re i’m laying in my bed listening to a true crime podcast Karl always makes fun of me for listening to podcast he says that there are for old people i just laughing at him and say we’ll i am old.

i’m listening to the podcast when i heard a ding my phone lit up with a message form Karl it read.

hi

i closed out of the message and thought to my self what surprise dose Karl have for me. Putting that thought to the back of my mind i decided to go on Twitter.

i tweeted something laughing at all the comments that my friends comment. when it was 9:00 i finally got out of bed and started my morning routine.

i walked into my bathroom and took a shower and washed my face when i was done i got out, brushed my hair and teeth,

i walked out of my bathroom turning off all the lights and closing the door and walking to my closet to pick out some clothes.

i picked out my clothes and put them on when i was done with everything i went down stairs and made breakfast for myself.

Since i wasn’t streaming to day i don’t have to step up everything,today was my relaxing day but i still had school work to do.

i finished my breakfast, i walked over to my dining room table and sat down i opened my laptop and began my school work, knowing y’all i don’t think y’all want to seat through this part so i’ll see you when school is done.

Karl

Hey guys it’s me frog boy just kidding it’s me karl since some of y’all don’t know me let me say a couple of things about me.

First thing is i have a amazing girlfriend named y/n she is the most important person in my life and i hope to spend the rest of my life with her.

Speaking of my girlfriend we have been dating for 5 months. Wow that’s crazy right you know what’s also crazy i have never seen her face before not like i’m complaining i don’t really care if i see it or not but today that’s going to changes you see i message one of y/n’s friends saying i’m going to surprise her and they gave me her address.

I was driving to the store to pickup some stuff to make a goodie basket for her when my phone dinged 

i looked over and saw that y/n snapchated me i picked up my phone and opened it

I put my phone down so I could continue driving then i got another message on my phone.

I opened it and this time it was a message from her.

putting my phone down for the second time. I finally made it to the store.

I got out of my car and walked in the store. I grabbed a cart and began looking for some stuff to put in the basket.

Ok i got the basket now time to look for stuff to put into it. I know she likes candy so I'm going to get some of that and some monsters.

When I finished shopping I went to check out. I paid for everything and headed out of the store to my car.

Once I got in I put everything in the basket neatly. I took a picture of it.

a/n- i take post anymore pictures so you will have to go to my wattpad and see them there the story is called one shots and my wattpad is ReaganGuillott

I took a picture of it and posted it on instagram and I made sure I posted it on my spam we’re y/n can see it.

laughing at the comments my friends made i started to drive again. It's going to take 3hrs to get there so i’m going to be back.

Y/N

Oh hey there I didn't think y’all would have come back and yes i did finish my school work it took me about 1hr to do so.

i heard a ding i looked down at my phone and i saw

i opend it and saw that it was nick

I snapped him back and he snapped back saying ok fine.

I was starting to get a little hungry so I made a little snack. Can you guess what I'm making? Everyone loves pizza rolls.

When I was done making them I sat down on my couch and began walking some Netflix.

By now it was 1am in the afternoon and I was beginning to get bored.

I can clean my house so that time will pass. but who just cleans there’s house for fun, not me.

I walked towards my room trying to figure out what I can do that will be fun.

Then an idea popped into my head: I can play minecraft. I walked over to my computer and sat down on my chair. I got my headphones and put them on my head.

I pulled in my lights so that it could be colorful.

I logged into my PC and began loading minecraft.

I started up a world and began playing it. I built a house, a farm, and a water fountain in front of my house.

then all of a sudden i hear a knock on my door.

karl

i finally got to y/n’s hometown. I'm so nervous. What if she gets mad at me for seeing her face and she breaks up with me.

putting all of the negative thoughts away in the back of my head I begin to think positively.

I pulled into her driveway and got out of my car and got the basket out and began to walk up to the front door.

I took a deep breath and knocked on the door waiting for her to open the door.

I waited a couple of minutes then the door opened and standing in front of me was the most beautiful person ever.

She had pale skin and long black hair that came down past her shoulders and along her cheeks and nose she had these most adorable freckles ever. And then her eyes were the most beautiful eyes, one was dark brown and then the other one was crystal blue.

“Hello my love” I said looking up at her.

“Karl” she said, her voice cracking little, you can see a tear fall from her long lashes on to her cheek.

“Oh honey” I say, putting down the basket and walking over to her and wrapping my arms around her tiny waist.

While I was holding her she began to shake, I felt my shirt getting wet but I didn't care because I had the love of my life in my arms right now.

We just stood there in silence just enjoying each other Company. I finally let go of her and moved away from her.

“Can I get that kiss now?” I said, smiling at her.

“How do you know I was talking about you? I could have been talking about someone else” she said.

“Oh I just know,” I said.

I looked into her eyes, she looked up at me and looked at the ground.

“Could you not look at them please” she said i looked at her confused.

“look at what” i said

“My eyes i don’t like them that’s why i am a faceless streamer and that’s why i didn’t let you see my face it’s all because of my fucking eyes” She said starting to get angry.

“I was bullied as a kid because of them they said i looked like a Alien they called me two eyes just because of my fucking eyes” she said

“baby” i said

“don’t i don’t want you sympathy” she said

“My love look at me” i said

She finally looked up at me i put my hands on her cheeks.

“Honey your eyes are the most beautiful eyes ever don’t let people tell you otherwise so what they say that you look like a alien they are just jealous cause you have some badass eyes and they don’t” i said

She looked up at me and leaned in. I felt her breathing on my lips.

I leaned in and put my lips on hers.

are lips we’re moving together i then licked the bottom of her lip asking for entering she opened her lips and i put my tongue in hers.

are tongues fought for dormancy when we got a little carried away so I parted our lips and rested my forehead on her looking into her beautiful eyes.

“Thanks you” she said

“You're welcome,” I said.

I stepped away from her and picked up the basket and gave it to her.

She took it out of my hands and we walked into her house.

She walked over to the kitchen and put the basket on the counter.

“So what do you want to do now” she said looking at me.

“i don’t know” i said

“do you want to take pictures with me” she said

“sure”

When we were finished we laid on her bed cuddling just talking about life.

" i love you y/n" i siad

l i love you too" she said

And that day became the most amazing day every because i got to spend the next week with the woman i love.

[yeetingmyfeeling]

Skirts and Panties

One shot number 1

Brian and Nogla

Warnings; Smut and cross dressing

Through the years that they have been doing YouTube, Brian and Nogla knew each other very well. Best friends, you could say. With them both living in Ireland, they hit it off well in their first meeting. Then they continued on, causing havoc for their friends.

Being close to each other, allowed them to go visit one another when they were free. A week visit every few months, turned into a week visit every month. Eventually, they each had a draw for the other.

One day, Brian brought up to Nogla the idea of moving to America. He wanted to move where all the big stars are, and where he could be closer to his other YouTube friends. Nogla at first thought it was a great idea, but then he slowly started to think about how much he would miss his partner in crime. 

Brian had already applied for his visa, so, without telling anyone, Nogla did too. They waited months, and Nogla remembers the day Brian found out he got his. They were filming a video together. Nogla was just so happy for the other Irishman.

Then Brian went on to look for houses, while Nogla sat and waited patiently. When Brian would ask for his opinion, Nogla always gave inputs of what he personally liked. Sometimes Brian would ignore his input, but other times found them helpful.

After another few months, Brian had bought a house and invited Nogla over to help him pack. Nogla happily obliged, he also came to drop the news he got his visa. They celebrated, then they argued when Brian found out the reason. Yet, this leads us to today, where they now happily live together.

The house is two stories. On the first floor you have the living room, dining room, kitchen, a toilet, Brian’s office, and a small gym space. On the second floor Brian and Nogla’s bedroom included with a bathroom, two guest bedrooms, a guest bathroom, Nogla’s office, and a games room. The house was a simple floor pan. Most of the floor was wood, unless in the bedrooms, living room or offices. There were lots of windows, as they sat with a view of the city below them. The house also included a large backyard with a pool, and a large shed.

Nogla currently stood in one of the guest bedrooms. The grey carpet was soft beneath his bare feet, and the blind was pulled down, blocking off the sun. Both guest bedrooms were the same. Grey carpet, a large queen sized bed against the wall with a painting above it. This room's painting was a blue whale. On one wall was a large window, beneath it a desk. The wall opposite the bed was a large wardrobe, the doors being mirrors. 

Nogla stood in front of the mirror. He was wearing one of Brian’s basketball shorts, the pants being loose on his skinny hips, and a plain black shirt. A large suitcase sat on the bed. Nogla started chewing on the nail of his thumb as he thought.

He had always been attracted to these sorts of things, found them alluring. Yet he never thought he would end up doing it. He always just watched from the sidelines, or admired. Yet now, here he was, about to do it. If he had the strength.

He turned away from the mirror and walked over to the suitcase, which had previously been buried in the wardrobe. He unzipped it and looked through the clothes. He had gone out several different times, and bought several different articles of clothing. Even some of his friends' girlfriends got him some.

Yes, he could tell someone like Kelly, Tyler’s boyfriend. Yet he couldn’t tell his own boyfriend. After the year of the girls knowing, he was only now going to test it out. He pulled out some of the clothes, deciding what matches and what doesn’t, as well as if they fit his mood. He nodded in content once he found the perfect outfit.

Slipping off the shorts, he chucked them on to the bed, then went the shirt. He wore nothing underneath the shorts, so now he stood naked, kind of cold, and nervous. He looked over his shoulder, seeing his reflection in the mirror. He shivered.

Grabbing the first article of clothing, he slipped them on. It was a pair of green panties. Everything see through apart from the band and the crotch. Nogla noticed they felt quite soft against his blushing pale skin. Next was the garter belt, which had two pieces. First a tight green belt that wrapped around his waist, which was then connected to a lace bit that wrapped snugly around his hips. These clipped on to the next piece, which were dark green thigh highs. To top it off, he slipped on the matching bra. It obviously didn’t do too much, and the lace bit that usually covered the top of the breast flapped loosely against his chest. 

Turning around, Nogla looked at himself in the mirror. The green stood out in contrast to his very pale skin and dark hair. The belt showed off his waist, and the lace bit and panties accented his hips. The straps and thigh highs bulged slightly, showing off his thighs, although skinny. The bra was mostly just for show. 

Nogla then pulled on the next piece of clothing, a brown crop top jumper. It was very soft, which he enjoyed. Long sleeves going over his hands, and the jumper ending around his waist. He then pulled on a grey skirt. The waistband went up to his bellybutton, and it ended a little below his butt. The skirt reminded him of what you would see an anime high school girl wear.

He fluffed up his hair and flexed his toes on the carpet as he once again looked at himself in the mirror. He gasped at the sight. Nogla quite honestly thought he was adorable. Turning and spinning, he was falling in love with the look. He grabbed his phone that lay on the bed and took a quick photo, sending it to the girls.

Nogla continued to admire how he looked. He stretched and he bent over, loving every little thing about the outfit. He was just about to leave the room, to start walking around the house in his new favourite outfit, when he heard the front door open, then close, and the rushing of dog paws on wooden floors. 

Nogla’s eyes widened in his own reflection. He gasped and went to pull off the clothes as fast as he could. He felt his heart rate pick up as he heard Brian call out his name.

“David?” Brian called out into the quiet house. He walked into the kitchen, putting the groceries on the counter. He gave the dogs a quick pet on the head. “Babe?” He tried again.

Nogla was panicking. He was in the middle of trying to get the bra off and swore quietly when he heard a tear. He pulled it off and chucked it in his bag. He heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Swearing again, Nogla managed to get the rest of the outfit off. He pulled on his clothes, shoved the outfit back in the suitcase and then into the cupboard.

Straight after he shut the wardrobe door, Brain opened the guest room door. He looked at Nogla in confusion. “Uh, David?”

“Sorry!” David squeaked. “I think Joe and Tony got up here, because there was a mess, so I was just cleaning it up.”

Brian nodded slowly, but he looked skeptical. “Right…” He mumbled. “Can you come help me with the groceries?”

“Of course!” Nogla walked over to Brian, giving him a kiss. Brian leaned into it, and it would have gotten more heated if he didn’t remember the groceries.

~~~~~

The next time Nogla got dressed up, he made sure Brian was out of the house for longer. Brian was going to hang out with Evan today, and they were drinking so he was spending the night. Nogla took this opportunity. 

He chose a different outfit this time. The lingerie was a light blue. The panties were brought high up on his sharp hips. Lace bits on the sides, front and back. Unlike the green pair, this one fully covered his cock. He decided on a bra again, as it made him feel pretty. It was a thick lace where the breasts would be, then a thin lace stretching over his ribs. 

He checked himself out in the mirror, appreciating the way the panties brought out his hips, and also made his ass look more plump. He bit his lip, feeling a stirring in his stomach. He shook his head and brought out the next few articles of clothing. 

The shirt, another crop top, was violet. It had a bardot neckline, showing off the straps of his bra. It had three-quarter length sleeves, and was tight around his middle. The pants were light grey, and booty shorts. They had a white trim that came up at the sides. He pulled them up high, so the bottom of his ass was showing. 

Nogla whined as he saw himself in the mirror. He liked this outfit, a lot. He did a little spin, showing himself off, for himself. He took a few photos, using snapchat so he could private them. After that, he hesitantly walked out of the room. 

He jumped slightly when he saw Joe and Tony laying on the ground. They were both asleep, but jumped up when Nogla walked out. They walked up to him and sniffed at his new clothes in confusion.

Nogla laughed, bending down to pat each of them on the head. Then he walked out and went downstairs. He walked to the kitchen, biting his bottom lip. He felt the cool air all over his legs, and it was calming in a way.

After a few minutes of just basking in the feeling, Nogla decided to start doing some cleaning. He felt like a girlfriend cleaning up after his messy boyfriend. In a way, he was, but he wouldn’t openly say that. 

So he went around the house, cleaning up. Once he had done the majority of the cleaning, he vacuumed the floors. He washed all the dishes, made sure the dishwasher was empty. He cleaned all over the bathrooms, then made sure the room he and Brian shared was clean. He cleared up his office, which wasn’t too bad. Brian’s was the worst, as he hid all the trash out of the way of the camera.

Once he had cleaned everything, he realized he would have to take out the trash, and put the bin out. He looked at himself in the mirror, adjusting his clothes slightly. He took a shaky breath. He could do it.

Nogla picked up all the trash bags, two full in each hand, and took them out to the bin. He threw them in then pulled the bin out to the curb. Luckily, he saw no one. A few people did drive by, but he just ducked his head, looking away. Then he went back inside.

He saw he had been cleaning late, and it was past dinner time. He swore and fed Joe and Tony, who were whining. He quickly cooked himself up some pasta, making sure he had enough for Brian to have the next day.

He went into his office  and worked on editing a video. It was one with Tyler, Evan, Delirious and Marcel. He got most of the way finished, but soon got tired. So he stumbled out of his room and to the bedroom. 

He stripped of the crop top and the shorts, leaving him in only the bra and panties. He giggled to himself. He took a lewd photo, saving it to the private section of snapchat. Brian would love that photo.

Nogla laid on Brian’s side of the bed, as he often does when Brian is out. He cuddled up in the blankets, enjoying the faint smell of Brian. He hummed happily and soon fell fast asleep.

~~~~~

Brian was out again. This time he was having a visit to go see Tyler and Evan at Tyler’s house. He was going to be gone for a few days. So, once again, Nogla took this as his opportunity. He also had some new outfits, as it was nearing summer so he and some of the girls had gone shopping.

It was the third day, and it was quite a warm day. Nogla decided he wanted to go swimming. Despite Brian being at Tyler, Kelly had come to visit Nogla. She brought along Chrissy and Simone. The three girls were just staying two nights, as they had their own things to do. Nogla was just happy to have company.

The partners of the girls got a little suspicious when they found out their girlfriends were going to be with Nogla. Yet, they just came to the conclusion Nogla was the ‘girlfriend’ of his and Brian’s relationship. Nogla wanted to throttle them.

The girls were already outside, with food and drinks, and in their swimsuits. Nogla was nervous to put on his, as swimmers were always tight. Very tight.

The swimsuit was of course a bikini. The top bit had a thick band that wrapped around, then the pad of the bra where the breasts would be, in the middle it had bands connecting the two pads, then it wrapped around his neck. The bottom piece was thin and small, and Nogla hoped to god he wouldn’t accidentally flash the girls. On the sides it thinned out into little ropes that he had to tie together. The color of the swimming set was a solid blue. 

These clothes showed off his incredibly pale body, and made him blush heavily. His face burned as he pulled on one of Brian’s jumpers. He pulled the sleeves over his hands. Shuffling his feet, he hesitantly walked down to the pool.

Opening the door, he stepped out with a shy smile, receiving several wolf whistles. This only made him blush more, giggling a little. 

“Look at those legs!” Simone yelled out. “God damn girls, I think we found a rival,” They all laughed.

Nogla walked over, sitting in one of the lounging chairs beside Kelly. Kelly gave the Irishman a wink. “That does look so good Nogla, I don’t think any of us could pull that off.”

“Yeah! I mean, wow,” Chrissy laughed. “Take off the jumper, we want to see it all,” Nogla rolled his eyes, but did as asked. He pulled the jumper off, hanging it off the back of the chair. The girls howled. “Look at those moobs!”

Simone and Kelly laughed loudly, the latter swatting at Chrissy. “He doesn’t have any!” Simone pointed. “He’s all pointy and lanky, but damn it stretches nicely.”

“Dude, you would be a hot chick,” Chrissy said with a nod. “If I had to leave Scotty and elope, I would do it with you.”

Nogla barked a laugh. “Oh, I am flattered!”

They all continued to joke around for a bit more, laughing and enjoying each other's company. The girls constantly telling Nogla how good he looked. After a while, they decide to jump in the pool. 

The girls attack Nogla, splashing him with water. Nogla scowled and picked up the closest person, which happened to be Kelly. He threw her over his shoulder, launching her in the water. She squealed loudly. Nogla then went after the other two, who ran away, screaming and laughing.

After a few hours, that had gone by with lots of being dickheads in the pool, food, and drinks, they became tired. It was late afternoon, but not too late. They laid down on the lounging chairs, allowing their bodys to naturally dry, and tan.

As they lay there in peace, Nogla was suddenly involved in the girls gossip. He stayed quiet most of the time, just listening to the other three. A few times they asked for his opinion, which he gave with lots of thought.

“So, Daithi,” Simone peered over at the tall male. “How much hate are you getting?”

Nogla frowned softly to himself. “Uhm.. a lot. More than what Lanai got,” He looked over at Simone. “A lot of people are angry I’m dating Brian, a lot of people think I turned him gay, and a lot of people think he should have stayed with Lanai.”

Chrissy nodded, understanding. “Yeah, yeah. I can’t fully understand, but I got a lot of hate for just dating Scotty. After we got married, the hate got worse.”

Kelly frowned. “Sometimes I hate that they are.. Famous,” She sighed. “I’m happy for Tyler, I’m so happy, and I understood what I was getting myself into. Just, sometimes, the hate hits a little too hard.”

Simone groaned in agreement. “I run across an account on twitter that is hating all the boys girlfriends, and ex’s. This was a bit ago, I recently stumbled upon them again, and they have included Nogla in the hate.”

Nogla sighed. “People are fucking asshole,” He scowled. “I really hate our fans sometimes. What they do with stuff like this, it’s just- why? They do more harm than good, and I hate it. It ruins any kind of friendships you can get, and so many relationships. It’s fucking bullshit!”

“Calm down Nogla,” Simone reached over, rubbing Nogla’s arm. “I know, it’s hard. We have each other though,” The other two agreed. It was nice, Nogla felt happy. 

It was later in the night, and after Nogla had been forced into photos, they went inside. They each had a shower and changed into comfier clothes. The girls demanded Nogla once again wear the clothes he felt comfortable in. Nogla rolled his eyes, and said of course.

The underwear were simple. Just a dark purple, with a light purple waistband that clung tightly to his hips. The shirt was a loose, light blue and grey coloured shirt. It clung to his bony shoulders and chest, but the rest hung off his lanky frame. The shorts were a light green, and were tight around his hips.

They all went into the living room and started to watch movies. They had lots of snacks, and had gotten pizza delivered. As well as plenty of alcohol. After a while, Chrissy and Simone had fallen asleep, wrapped up in the cocoon of blankets they had made for themselves.

Nogla had turned off the TV, and lay stretched out on the couch. It was an L couch, so Kelly curled up on the other side. They lay in silence, not making a sound, until Kelly asked Nogla; “When are you going to tell Brian?”

Nogla groaned loudly. He rolled on to his stomach, burying his face in the pillows. “I don’t know,” He whined out. “I’m scared.”

“Why?”

“He’ll hate me! He’ll think I’m disgusting! Brian will break up with me, I just know it.”

“But you don’t know it.”

“I do!”

“How?”

“I just- I do…”

“David..”

“One day, Kelly. I’m not ready yet.”

~~~~~

It had been a while since Nogla was given the chance to dress up again. Three months, if he counted right. He was getting a little impatient, if he was being honest. As if the Gods heard him, Brian was now going on a two week trip to Ireland to visit his family.

Nogla would have gone with, gone to see his own family. Yet, they just happened to be busy. Nogla was clearly not upset. So, he had the house to himself. 

Although, the guys decided to have a game. Brian was going to be there, and Nogla was happy to have more time to hear his boyfriend.  Because he wouldn’t have a camera, this was now the chance to wear the clothes around Brian. He wasn’t here, and he couldn’t see him. It’s fine.

 Nogla had no idea what to wear today. Looking through the suitcase, he grabbed out a random pair of lingerie. It ended up being a red babydoll dress. The straps over his shoulders were thin, the cups small on his chest, and pure lace. There are more straps going over his chest, then connecting down and flowing out into a skirt. The top of the skirt was tight against his ribs, the waistband being lace similar to the cups. It flowed out and ended just below his crotch. Underneath was a pair of simple red lace panties.

Nogla felt very hot in the dress. He spun around in front of the mirror, fawning over himself. He once again took more photos, that no one will ever see. As he was taking one particularly lewd photo, that had his dick stirring, his phone buzzed.

BooBear: Baby? We are in the game, just waiting on you

Nogla cursed, fumbling with his phone. He picked it up after he dropped it, his face bright red. If only Brian could see him. He quickly messaged his boyfriend back.

DarlingDoll: Sorry Bri! I got caught up with something, I’ll be a moment

BooBear: Okay David :)

Quickly rushing out of the guest room and to his office, Nogla was glad he had already started up everything. He closed the door and sat down in his chair. He put on his headphones and started up the game, it was Prop Hunt. As the game was loading so he could go into the lobby, he joined the discord call. Calls of his name were heard. 

“Brian isn’t last for once!” Evan shouted. “This time it’s his boyfriend!”

“What took you so long?” Marcel whined. 

“Sorry lads, I was getting off on the thought of my boyfriend,” Nogla mumbled. The game finally started and he was instantly killed by Evan. He sighed.

“That’s a very good excuse,” Brian agrees. “If I leave early, you’ll know why,” Everyone made various disgusted noises.

They played the game for a few hours, Nogla as death because he was last. They joked around, having fun, making jokes. Tyler was the first to die, to which he cursed Nogla out for. Nogla just giggled. It ended in a face off between Brian and Evan, the Irishman winning.

“What’s my prize?” Brian questioned. “Better be good.”

There was a murmur heard from Tyler’s end, then the tall male barking out a laugh. “Kelly said your prize should be Nogla cross-dressing!”

Nogla flushed bright red, going quiet. He sat in his chair and looked down at the clothes he was currently wearing. He was going to kill Kelly.

Evan chuckled. “Man, I could see Nogla in a skirt. Long legs and everything.”

Marcel laughed in agreement. He went to say something, but there was murmur on his end. He gasped. Simone was the one to talk this time. “Briannnn.”

“Yes Simone?” Brain sounded thoroughly confused.

“Don’t get too horny,” Marcel laughed at that, making Simone chuckle. “But what if Nogla dressed in.. womens clothes all the time?”

“Is that my prize?” Brian asked excitedly. “Because if it is I would be a happy man.”

“You wouldn’t judge him?” Kelly suddenly asked.

“God no!” Brain spoke quickly. “If that is what makes him comfortable, then I’ll buy him all the bikinis he wants!”

Everyone laughed. They all continued to talk, Nogla only contributing when he had to. They all made jokes about Nogla wearing girls clothes, Brian constantly saying ‘that’s hot’ or ‘totally fine with that’. It all made the tall Irishman too flustered and embarrassed, so he left in a hurry. 

A week after this incident, Nogla felt comfortable enough to get dressed up again. This time he had shoes that Kelly had sent him.

This set of lingerie was simple black. The bra was tight, stretched over his ribs. The black panties were high up, accenting his sharp hips perfectly. The garter belt wrapped perfectly around his waist. It connected down to the black tights that shaped his hips perfectly. Over the top he had a high waisted soft pink skirt that ended mid thigh. The shirt was a similar pink colour, and it ended just below his ribs. It was tight across his chest. The shoes were platform demonias. He giggled as they made him incredibly taller.

Nogla didn’t have much to do today. So he walked around the house, making sure everything was clean. He really didn’t have much to do today, so he mostly just sat around on his phone. After awhile, he decided to go do some editing. So he went to his office, sat down with his heavy headphones on, and started to edit.

Nogla was so focused on editing, he didn’t hear the opening on the front door or the call of his name. He was so focused he didn’t hear the footsteps getting closer and closer to his office. He was so focused, he fell out of his chair when Brian had called out his name.

Nogla, now on the floor, looked up at Brian in fear. He put his hands over his lap, pushing the skirt down to cover his crotch. Brian was just gaping at him. “B-B-Brian…” Nogla stuttered. “Wh-What are you doing here?” 

“I came home early to surprise you,” Brian said softly. He stared at his boyfriend in front of him. His eyes traveled over his leg, his hands keeping the skirt pinned down, and the skin showing on his stomach. All the way up to Nogla’s blushing face. “What are you doing?”

Nogla could feel the tears building up. He whined and looked down at his lap. “Brian, I-”

“Nogla,” Brian couched down in front of his boyfriend. “Be honest with me, I won’t judge.”

Nogla nodded. “I started dressing in girls clothes. I don’t know why, but I’ve always really wanted to try it. When I was younger I would steal my mother's clothes, but I forgot.. Then I randomly grabbed a skirt while out shopping and put it on, and I had missed it. They just make me feel so pretty, and good, and.. And..” Nogla whimpered again. “I’m sorry Bri.”

Brian shook his head. He leaned forward and placed his hands on Nogla’s knees. He gave him a gentle smile. “Don’t be sorry Noga. I think this is gorgeous, it looks so good on you.”

[namfine]

Hello All! 

It’s ~Admin Zesty~ here, and I’m sad to say I’ve been booked a one-way ticket on the departing train. I feel it’s my duty to our readers to explain why, in the hopes that those involved can learn and grow from this.

As a disclaimer, I don’t claim to speak for Umami and Fizzy; they have been cordial in taking their leave, and everything I’m about to say stems from my own observations and conclusions. A lot has come to the surface in the past 24 hours, putting together puzzle pieces that none of us knew about. I’ll get to that in a moment, but I have to say this: Umami and Fizzy have been cordial. I will not. I was asked to leave; but more on that later.

I tend to let things pass; I’m a fairly easy-going person. I’m not one to pick fights and will often let things slide, or assume I’m imagining them. I like to give my friends the benefit of the doubt, which they deserve until proven otherwise. The boiling point for me with this was a brief argument I got into with Tart right before Christmas. This was not the first time I felt like Tart was looking for a fight, which heavily contributed to the overflow that followed. I expressed my distaste at people not wearing masks in the Atlanta airport while I was sitting waiting for my flight (a photo of the airport, me = masked, captioned “I hate the South”). Tart immediately jumped on me, claiming I was “belittling the work of Black activists in Atlanta” by “generalizing the South” - the South, which I know intimately well, having been raised in the Carolinas for 16 years of my life. My wealth of experience, in addition to the physical experience I was having in that airport, was invalid in the face of Tart’s experience living in the rural Midwest- which is, of course, exactly the same as the Bible Belt. 

This may seem like a small grievance to some, but to me, it was the straw on the camel’s back. I left every server - the general discord, our private writing discord, and the Namjoon server where we all met. I work a very demanding full-time job, which is stressful enough as it is; I couldn’t allow my hobby to stress me out too. I just had to get away for my mental health, just so I could breathe. I did not unfollow or block any of the other admins on any social medias - not private DM’s on discord, Snapchat, Instagram, etc. Immediately, Fizzy and Umami reached out to ask if I was okay, and I explained that I just needed a break.

Tart reached out to apologize, and the apology seemed sincere. We reconciled, but there was no further attempt to reach out and invite me back to any of the servers. I was content to just take a break and let this go, and return to writing when I felt ready - and that’s where things remained since then, up until today. I remained in cordial contact with the other admins, apart from Tart but I did not believe there was any hostility. 

When Umami posted their departure, I noticed the post on the blog. I reached out to them, asking if they were okay, and they explained to me the circumstances surrounding their decision to leave. Many of our experiences were similar, once we starting talking. I was sympathetic to their decision, but still felt committed to taking a leave of absence and returning when the time was right. Then, as many of you have already seen, Fizzy left as well. Umami and Fizzy both made the decision to leave separately; Umami posted the same message she posted on the Tumblr and the general Discord in the private server before leaving everything without another word. After Fizzy made her decision, she reached out to me on behalf of Tart and Minty - the first I’ve heard from Tart since we reconciled, and the first I’ve heard from Minty regarding the blog at all, albeit indirectly. They asked me to announce my departure, never having bothered to check-in with me themselves, firsthand. 

All of this stems from the bigger issues at play here, which I’d like to talk about, in what detail I can. As I said before, these are my own observations and conclusions; but I think they’re important, and I’m going to make sure I’m heard. Tart and Minty both contributed to a toxic environment, and it’s only after leaving that I’ve been able to see it for what it was. It’s been building up to the point that two other admins decided to leave of their own accord, and if that doesn’t tell you the state of things, I’m not sure what will. 

Near the end, Tart stopped being supportive of not only me, but also Umami. They were so caught up in themselves that ideas pitched were blatantly ignored or outrightly criticized. They made me feel alienated a lot of the time, something I’ve come to realize was not solely my experience. They disregarded my vents while at the same time demanding attention and validation of their own, several times a day. They are possessive over Jungkook to the point where the rest of us stopped writing about him, out of fear of getting snapped at. They complained about the lack of likes or attention from followers, while also managing to complain about attention from followers. They are judgy, condescending, and belittling to others that they deem lesser - which includes me, supposedly their friend. They constantly contradict themselves in various situations, taking whatever viewpoint best enables them to start a fight. There was also a multitude of microaggressions that I only noticed the magnitude of in retrospect; but that is Umami’s story, and it’s not my place to say any more on the matter. 

Umami has told me that she will be elaborating more on this, and for those who would like to hear her side of the story, you will find it on her new blog here.

Minty is Tart’s more tactful twin. She is either oblivious to the actions of Tart or outrightly ignores them, exhibiting the same lack of support that Tart has always displayed. She’s complacent with the constant bullying and abuse of both her fellow admins and members of the blog's discord. It’s bystander apathy to the highest degree at best, and enabling at worst. Throughout all of this, Minty has not once reached out to me to address any of this. 

Throughout the past month, I did not reach out to Tart or Minty. I felt like after the apology with Tart it was the assailant's job to instigate the conversation of whether or not the one who was upset (me) would like to join the group again. That conversation was never had, and I never stated that I wanted to leave. It's not fair to expect me to grovel to the other admins and beg to be returned to my position. I felt the apology went well, and I was content to leave it all in the past. Instead, the other admins just assumed since I had left the discord, I therefore left the blog. Had the apology been sincere, I would have been welcomed back with open arms.

I thought you were my friends, but friends don’t treat each other like this. Friends don’t make each other feel like they have to walk on eggshells around them. Friends should support each other and lift each other up, not turn everything into a competition or a fight. If I had realized that others around me were feeling the same way, I would not have sat silent for this long. For that, I apologize - to Umami, and to you, readers. 

I was asked to leave, so I’m leaving. This is my exit. I will be taking my work with me, just as Umami did. Umami was kind enough to invite me to join her on her other blog, so I will be housing my works there. I will be writing more in the future, so if you enjoyed any of my work, please feel free to follow me over there.

I want to thank you, readers, for taking the time to support my work. I feel like I’ve grown a lot as a writer since we started this, and it used to be a lot of fun. I hope to recapture that joy with a fresh start, and I hope that you come join me, if you feel so inclined. 

But in case I don’t see you…click here.

~Admin Zesty~

[snarkwriteswrasslin]

FFT: dreaming of a wedding dress; adam page

Notes:

this was sent to me by @kyleoreillysknee​ on my main and I wanted to move it to here, give it it’s own post and stuff. 

Summary:

Sadie and Adam are exes. Both miss each other. Adam decides that he’s not about to keep missing her and shows up at her house. Fluffy reunion ensues.

Pairing:

Adam Hangman Page x OFC, Sadie

Warnings:

uhh, does fluff count? bc yeah. lots of fluff.

The shrill cry of her alarm barely registered to Sadie until it stopped. She sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes and stretching her arms over her head. The third snooze alarm started and Sadie sat there a few seconds, trying to process.. To get back into reality, if you will.

The vivid -and yet distinctly vague, dream she’d been having for the better part of nearly 3 weeks now was hard to shake after awakening, she was used to that. What she wasn’t used to was the urgency the dream seemed to have lying beneath this time.

She could close her eyes and easily call it back to memory. Well, every part of it except for the groom/ father of the child she had by the end of the dream.. Because while the sights, sounds and even smells in the dream were all so vivid and bright… The groom in this scenario was not.

And just before she’d awoken, he’d been whispering something.

She couldn’t remember it now, to save her life. And this was bad because Sadie got the distinct feeling that whatever he’d been whispering was something she wanted to hear. What if it was important?

That thought had her laughing to herself and shaking her head as she slipped out of bed and ventured over to the window, the sheet wrapped around her body trailing behind her as she went. She pressed her hand to the cold pane of glass and peered out, up at the moonlit sky.

“It’s just a dream, nothin more. It’s probably dumb as hell, fixating on the damn thing like I’ve been doin.” her words came slow and soft, followed by the revelation as to why exactly she seemed to fixate on that dream the way she did.

Standing here in her grandma’s big 2 story farmhouse out in the middle of nowhere, staring up at the moon, she suddenly realized that whether she chose to acknowledge it or not, there was something lacking as of late. She felt restless again. Like she was sitting back and waiting, and while she did that her life passed her by.

Sure, she had a comfy life - she’d almost dare to venture way too easy. But as she stood there, staring up at the moon, several things were occurring to her all at once.

The biggest of these things was the fact that at 26, she’d never taken any actual risks. She’d never done anything on a whim. She’d never gone after anything she really wanted, deep down.

… Just like you let Adam get away… Seeing him on tv the other night really drove that home…

… you know it never would have worked, he’d be gone all the time…

… you won’t ever know, will you? Didn’t even attempt trying, you just panicked when he said he loved you  and instead of saying it back, you  broke it off… You were so damned afraid that it’d be like your mom and dad all over again that you panicked… And now, it’s probably too damn late…

The phone was ringing and she grabbed it off her nightstand, answering.

She winced as she heard her friends shouting at her.

“Guys, it’s like… Midnight.”

“Duh!” - Shayna was the one with the phone at the moment but in the background, Sadie could hear the rest of her friends in the background. “What the hell were you doing? Sleeping?” - Shayna asked the question and Claudia snatched the phone.

“You are not about to sleep. It’s too early! Come on, please?”

She gave a quiet laugh and then sighed. She was about to try and beg off, - Mimi was politely pointing out to the others that maybe she was tired, but then the dream came rushing back… And with it came that feeling of… Something missing.

She didn’t want to lie in bed replaying both the dream and the last time she had actually seen Adam over in her head, so after a few seconds, just as Louisa was about to tell them to let her go back to sleep, that we all did have work in the morning, she spoke up.

“Give me ten.”

“You’re serious.”

“She’s bullshitting us again.”

“If you want to go to sleep it’s totally fine.”

She cut into the conversation going on between all of them and spoke up. “No, no.. I wanna come. I don’t know why I was makin such a big deal. I’ll be there in ten minutes. Wasn’t like I was going back to sleep anyway.”

Mimi had the phone now, a concerned tone to her voice as she asked what was wrong and if Sadie was really sure she wanted to come out. She heard Louisa and Claudia asking her in the background if everything was alright and she laughed quietly, catching sight of herself in the mirror over her bathroom sink. She grabbed her hairbrush as she listened to her friends talking, trying to drag whatever was wrong out of her and she loved them for it, but like… she couldn’t explain it, either.

Shayna was the one who guessed it. I don’t know how, because I’ve only mentioned this dream maybe twice.

“Is it that super realistic dream you keep having?”

“Among other things, yeah.” I answered as I slicked on deep red lipgloss. Cherry flavored. …. Adam always enjoyed this one when I wore it…

…It’s been four and a half months, Sadie…

… He’s obviously fine with things ending, because he didn’t try a single time to stop you from breaking it off with him.. He still hasn’t. It wasn’t like it was that long ago.

Again, the practical side of her brain was taking over and she scowled in frustration, the expression scrunching up her face and making her realize that she didn’t really smile that often, either.

“What other things?”

“It’s nothing, just… Like… Ever felt like something’s missing? Nevermind.”

“No, I know what you mean.”

Claudia had the phone now. “You could have moved in with Mimi and me when we asked, I mean if it’s a lonliness thing.”

Sadie gave a soft laugh and grabbed for her jacket and her keys. She realized about halfway out the door that she was wearing a pair of pajamas and a tank top and glancing back at the porch, she just… Decided she didn’t honestly give enough fucks about the way she looked to go back and change.

By the time she got to the little bar and grill we all hang out at most of the time, she was starting to relax a little. Not much, but enough.

By the time she was sitting down between Shayna and Louisa, stealing food off their plates when they weren’t looking -and were covertly arguing over the bouncer at this place that Louisa has a thing for and why Louisa won’t walk up and talk to the guy already, she had started to really realize that the dream was recurring for a reason.

She needed to do SOMETHING.

She needed to fix the mistake she obviously made.She was not so sure why she knew it was Adam in her dreams, but she just knew.

Sadie didn’t have to see him, didn’t have to clearly be able to hear him speaking. she just had this intense gut feeling that the dream was about him -and it was fallout from the way she handled things back then.

She must have zoned out, because Mimi was clearing her throat, eyeing her expectantly. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just like… Thinking.”

“About?” - her friends were all staring at her right now and man, did that make it hard to get out what she was trying to get out. She took a few more fries off of Shayna’s plate and dragged them through a milkshake sitting in front of me and after chewing thoughtfully, she sighed.

“That damn dream. Remember Adam?”

“Hold up… He’s the hot cowboy you were dating, right? The one who went on to start wrestling?”

She nodded. “That’d be him.”

Louisa eyed her, nodding. “Yeah, I remember him. What’s up?”

“He works with the competition now… For the company Sami’s wrestling with? Yeah.. One of the owners is being a completely clueless bag of dicks and it’s making Sami miserable… Has to do with a drop in their ratings and a rise in the other companies.” Shayna spoke up and Sadie laughed, nodding. “Yeah, I’ve been… Watching… Aew… Since I flipped past one night about two weeks ago and saw him on there..” she gave a sheepish shrug.

“Get the fuck out. I thought you said you weren’t even remotely interested in pro wrestling. That was your excuse when Mimi and I tried to drag your ass to Vegas.” Claudia looked up from her snapchat conversation with Zak to stare right at me.

“I know what I said, but.. He’s so intense. I watched him in that ring and like.. I can’t explain it. I was… I was seeing all these little things I never noticed before. And I can’t stop thinking about it all.”

“Just say you’re thirsty.” Louisa was joking with her gently and Mimi snorted in laughter but then she went quiet, almost thoughtful. She instantly got this feeling she was plotting something.

Unfortunately, she had to piss, so she jumped up and excused herself to go to the bathroom.

XXX

“You guys remember Mox, right?”

“Yeah, that guy you met when you and Claudia went off to that Vegas show, right? Isn’t he a fighter too?” Louisa eyed Mimi and Mimi nodded, almost excitedly. “He is. And here’s the interesting part. Mox works with Adam.”

The bouncer made his way past and Louisa fanned herself with a menu, eyes following him intently as he moved towards the back of the club to break up a fight. After Shayna cleared her throat and nudged her, Louisa turned her focus back onto what Mimi seemed to be suggesting.

Mimi continued, “ When Claudia and Zak and I and the other guys were all in Vegas for that pay per view they were filming, I… Kinda spotted Adam backstage. I thought at first he was just there as a fan like we all were.”

“Did he say anything?” Shayna asked as she finished firing off a text to Sami, checking in to make sure he was okay. He wasn’t happy with the direction they seemed to be taking with his on screen persona lately, and while he did his best to hide it, pretend it didn’t bother him, Shayna knew better. She glanced up and Mimi shook her head no, reaching for her bottled water and taking a sip.

“No, but.. He was talking to Mox right before Mox walked up to me and introduced himself and got that one really crazy drunken asshole away from me… So..”

“Yeah? Oh man…. Yeah, do it. Do it. I mean, if you’re thinking about doing what I think you’re thinking about doing…” Claudia looked up from snap chatting Zak to laugh and nod. “Either you do it or I’ll drive her to the arena they’re at next and leave her there.”

“Hard same. I’ve always kind of figured that she didn’t really want to break things off with Adam, but you know how weird she can be with big decisions. She was a lot happier.”

Louisa spoke up, tearing her eyes away from the bouncer. He’d gotten close enough to read the tag on his shirt this time. His name was Braun, she filed it away for later. Maybe she was considering just going for it and making some kind of attempt to talk to the guy.

She had to do something.

To take her mind off of it, she forced herself to focus on the conversation taking place between her friends at the moment. “You guys do realize she will never.. Never.. Ever… even consider the possibility that there’s still a chance. That we’re gonna have to essentially coax her into doing anything about this whole thing. But we all know it’s eating her up inside.”

“She can say it’s not, but it totally is. The entire blind date Zak and I set her up on, she was all mopey and shit. She’s been all mopey and shit for a while now.”

“She has. She tries to hide it, but she’s not very good at it?” Mimi laughed quietly and nodded towards the area in the bar the bathrooms were located at. “I’m gonna text Mox.. I think I know exactly how to go about doing this…”

“Remember, she cannot have one single clue we’re up to something. Otherwise, she’ll hide in that damn house and we’ll NEVER get her out. I swear, she’s a hermit.”

Mimi texted Mox, explaining the situation as best as she could in short sentences. Mox wound up calling her because to quote him, “Can’t text to save my fuckin life, got no interest in learnin. I’d rather hear someone’s voice.” so Mimi stood and walked out, making sure she was by herself once she got outside.

“You know that guy you’re working with? Adam?”

“Yeah, Hangman. Guy’s always slappin my fuckin ass. Why?” Mox sounded worried, maybe even a little jealous. Mimi bit her lip and quickly reassured him and then she explained the situation, Mox chuckling and pacing, she could hear his footsteps echoing.

“I’ll talk to him.”

“Are you sure?”

“Course I’m sure, baby girl. I can tell it means a lot to ya.”

“It’s not just that.. I have this feeling about those two.”

“Anything you want me to do, kitten.”

Inside the bar, Louisa stood, taking a deep breath. She made her way past where Sadie stood in line, ordering herself a drink and she nudged her friend.

“Wish me luck.”

“Whoa, what?”

“I’m going to fucking do it. Tonight is the night I talk to him.”

Sadie followed her friends intent gaze and she let out a low whistle, smiling. “You better, or I’m totally shoving you two into a back room and leaning against the door.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh, I think I would.”

“Oh, so you can meddle, but we can’t? That’s not really fair.”

“Louie… The longer you stand here, arguing the unfairness of the whole thing with me, the less time you’re gonna get to go over. It’s just a word. All you have to do is say Hi.” Sadie insisted, more or less trying to wiggle her own way off of the hook. She let out a deep breath when it seemed to work and burst into giggles when the bouncer Louisa was currently planning to go over and talk to seemed to have the same idea.

“I’m gonna go steal more food. You.. Talk to him.” Sadie nodded to just behind her friend and Louisa turned, finding herself body to body with the giant of a man. He gave this smirk and nodded to the dance floor, leaning in.

“I don’t do this often but.. You wanna dance?”

“I don’t dance with strangers sir, so maybe if you introduce yourself…” Louisa teased gently, moving a little closer, staring up at him. “I’m Louisa.”

“Name’s Braun. I’ve seen you around. Every time I think I’m gonna get to talk to ya, those goddamn idiots from that frat house two blocks over start fightin.” Braun chuckled, the sound booming. Louisa swallowed hard and nodded, smiling. Her heart was racing a little.

Shayna watched Braun leading Louisa out onto the floor and laughed softly to herself. “Finally. It’s about fucking time.”

“What’s that?” Sami asked, falling back against the bed in his hotel room, the phone resting between his ear and shoulder.

“That guy. The bouncer from the sports bar I bought you to meet most of my friends? The one Louisa is really, really, really into? He just asked Louisa to dance.”

Sami chuckled and then sighed. “I’d really rather be there with you right now.”

“I know, babe. I know. But I promise.. This weekend, I get on a flight. And I am all yours for the next week. No distractions.”

Sami smiled, raising to sit, grabbing the remote, then deciding against the television. He rubbed his chin and mumbled thoughtfully, “So I have you all to myself, hmm?”

“Mhmm. And we can do anything you want.”

“Oh really, now.. Anything? Because you realize that’s a blanket statement, yeah?”

“Oh, trust me. I’m well aware.” Shayna scanned the bar, searching for Sadie and Claudia, finding Sadie leaning against a wood column with a beer sitting on the rail by her hip and a poolstick leaned against her body.

Claudia was sitting a few booths away, snapchatting with Zak.

“Find any ghosts yet?”

“This place is a bust. The only thing scary about it so far is the raccoon that ran out when Aaron kicked in the door. It’s probably condemned.” Zak chuckled. “Are you upside down?”

“Yeah. I’m trying to spread so we don’t lose our booth like the last time. Everybody just kinda scattered. Oh.. News.. Guess who actually left her house tonight?”

“Sadie actually came out with you guys? Ya know, if she weren’t so hung up on that guy Adam or whatever…”

“Zak, no.”

“I’m just saying, she and Nick were really hitting it off when we all went out to that abandoned house last time I came to town to film.” Zak shrugged and Claudia nodded. “They were, but I honestly believe Adam was just it for her. Still makes zero sense, why she broke up with the guy.”

“Probably cold feet. She seemed real skittish when we were all hanging out.. Remember? Nick tried giving her his coat, she politely declined. Then when he put his arm around the back of the booth behind her, she sat up? Yeah.”

“I felt so bad for Nick. He’s a sweet guy.”

“Nick’s a dumbass.”

“Well, that too, but I mean. He was really pouring it on that night and it was like Sadie wasn’t having it. And she told me the next day that if it weren’t for her mind being elsewhere, she’d have had a great time.” Claudia shook her head and rose to sit up, eventually standing. “In other news.. I may have gotten permission..”

“Fucking seriously? How? I thought that guy.. Your neighbor, I mean. I thought she was hell bent on not allowing anyone to investigate that property?”

“Power of persuasion.”

“Babe…”

“Thank me later, Bagans.”

“Oh, I intend to.”

“Color me curious.” Claudia started to say as she walked over, tapping her friend Sadie on the shoulder.

“Wanna play against me?”

“How about winner plays?”

Claudia eyed Shayna and then the table. “Well shit.. Sure, why not.”

“Oh, c’mon, don’t pout! You won four games last time.” Shayna pouted as she said it, ending in a laugh. Sadie flipped them both off and muttered something about having an off night.

“Damn right I did.” Claudia laughed and grabbed for a poolstick, chalking the tip.

“So, Sadie… Back to what you obviously think we’ve all forgotten.. What is it about that dream that keeps bothering you?”

“Damn it. I was hoping y’all forgot.” Sadie sighed and then rubbed her temple and let her eyes scan the table for a potential shot. “I’m calling the 9. Middle left pocket.”

“Not unless you’ve got Jedi powers.”

“You’re about to get fucked over.”

“Don’t hit too hard, otherwise it’s gonna bounce right back out of the pocket.”

“Ladies? Can I shoot or no?” Sadie teased her friends, taking a sip of her drink and bending, aiming the pool stick at the cue. She grumbled and flipped off the table when the cue followed the 9 ball right into the pocket.

“Okay, alright, fine.. In the dream, I’m getting married. And while I can’t see who it is… I just.. I’ve been thinking a lot about how bad I screwed the whole thing with Adam up… And… I don’t know,” Sadie took another sip and fidgeted with the bottle after sitting it down, finally making herself say it out loud. “I think the dream I’ve always had has been about Adam. And that night, when I ended things… It wasn’t what I wanted to do at all. I panicked.”

“Okay, so… What are you going to do to fix it?”

“Oh nothing, not a damn thing. Obviously he’s fine with it? I mean it’s been over four months now and I haven’t heard a word out of him….” Sadie dragged her fingers through her hair and raising her beer to her lips, she took a few long sips to finish it off.

Her cell phone buzzed, making her jump and she took it out, for a second, she found herself hoping against hope that it’d be him but..

It was work.

“And apparently, I’ve gotta go into the station. I’m really really really regretting the decision to work Forensics, y’all. It’s gonna be another long night.”

As she went to walk out the door, Mimi stopped her. “Maybe it’s not too late to fix things. You never know.”

Sadie eyed her friend and after hugging them all goodbye, she grabbed her coat and set off for the station she worked at. And the entire time she was processing the scene she’d gotten called to, she kept thinking about everything.

By the time she was preparing to leave the station, she’d tried at least six different times to put it out of her head once and for all, he’d looked really happy on television and he was doing what he loved. What if her breaking things off that night was better?

It didn’t feel like it though.

XXX

Her number was still in his phone. Tonight, he tried again to delete it, just because Kenny suggested that maybe if he weren’t going to do something, make some attempt to reach out, then maybe he just needed to let go.. He had the number highlighted, his finger hovering over delete and then those dreams came rushing back to him.

“Damn it.” Adam launched the phone and it settled onto the floor of the hallway after bouncing off the wall. Mox picked it up, stifling a laugh, fixing his gaze on the other man and raising his brow.

“That upset about the outcome of the match?”

“No, it’s not that.” Adam didn’t even really intend to blurt it out, but he did. And once he’d blurted that part out, the rest came flowing out as well. Mox stood there, torn between mildly uncomfortable at the way Adam was just spilling his guts and partially amused.

He smirked to himself. Maybe what he promised his girlfriend Mimi he’d attempt doing wasn’t gonna be so hard to do after all.

Might even be as easy as taking candy from a baby. Or that goddamn skateboard from Darby.

Either way, he saw an opening, and ever the opportunist, he took it. He grabbed a chair, straddling it so that the chair’s back pressed into his chest and he just sat there, letting Adam go on and on.

It wasn’t like the guy.

By the end, Mox had his opening and then he spoke up. “What if I told ya there might still be a chance to fix things?”

… this would be even better than what Mimi suggested. If he could just talk the damn guy into going to the girl Mimi had been telling him about earlier…. He could tell Adam wanted to…

Adam eyed Mox. He couldn’t tell whether Mox was being serious and knew something he didn’t or whether the guy was just trying to suggest something, either way, he shook his head, took a deep breath.

“I’d think she made it real clear that night how she felt about us. I told her I loved her and she got this look of terror on her face then she suddenly has to leave? Not seeing how I could do anything. I just know it’s driving me fuckin insane because I swear it’s her I’m dreamin about.”

Mox didn’t know or care to know what he was referring to, frankly, it wasn’t his business. But, Adam apparently needed to get all this out.

“I’m sorry, shit.” Mox shrugged as he said it, and Adam coughed, nodding. The tension settled in as the two went quiet and Adam spoke up again. “What makes you think there’s a chance to fix things… I mean… You sounded pretty convinced.”

“My girlfriend’s best friends with her. Said that it’s been real rough on her too. Or somethin like that.”

“Whoa, what?”

“You fuckin heard me, Hangman. My girlfriend knows her. And maybe my girlfriend was mentioning the fact that this chick is tearin herself up over endin it now. Or somethin like that. Look, all I know is it’d take nothin to fix the whole thing. But from what Mimi’s told me, you’re gonna have to be the one to do it.”

Adam shook his head. From where he stood, what would the point be? She was the one who broke things off. He’d just been leaving her alone, letting her have her space, throwing himself into competing, traveling and doing whatever he could not to think about just how much he fucking missed her.

… Pride, man… Pride is what’s gonna cost you… Either you lose your pride or you keep it and let her go completely…

After dropping that bombshell, Mox stood and stretched. “Just do somethin, man. Because ya head ain’t in it lately. And ya got shit to get done.”

Adam eyed him, a brow raised.

“I don’t wanna wrestle against ya when ya not in it. Ain’t safe for you or me, man. I don’t give a fuck what you do but fuck… Do somethin.” Mox walked off and Adam stared at his phone again.

“Maybe he’s right…”

XXX

It had been one hell of a Monday. All Sadie really wanted to do by the time she finally left the lab was go home, soak in a long hot bath and crawl into bed and sleep for her next two days off.

The cat brushed against her legs as soon as she opened the doors and she bent, picking it up. “Hey Sir Mew.”

The cat purred, nuzzling against her.

“I know man. Mom had a real long day. Let’s get you food, hm?” Sadie flipped on the lights and started to walk towards the kitchen, getting her cat his food. She turned on some music and opened her fridge, wrinkling her nose at the contents - or lack thereof, that it held.

“There is… Literally nothin here I wanna eat.” she grimaced as she caught sight of a Chinese takeout carton that had to have been in the fridge at least a week now. Grabbing it, she tossed it in the garbage.

She was just about to grab her keys and head back out, to a diner a few blocks over, but her cellphone started to ring and someone was knocking on the door.

She looked back and forth between the two, trying to decide which to answer first. Finally, she answered the call and started to walk towards the door.

“Oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god, guess who called me.” Louisa was breathless on the other end of the line, and Sadie gave a soft laugh as she reached for the door handle.

“I told you he’d..” but as soon as she had the door open and saw who was standing there, her words trailed off.

“Hey, did you hang up? I’m gonna come over tomorrow and raid your closet.”

“That’s a great idea! Hey, Louie?”

“What’s wrong, Sadie Lynn…” Louisa raised a brow at her friend’s suddenly spaced out tone of voice. Sadie’s answer was enough to put her at ease.

“It’s… Adam is here.”

“I’ll call you back later, girl. Talk to him!”

“I.. Yeah.. Okay.”

Adam raked his hand through his hair, sizing her up as he stared down at her. The last 20 odd hours were a blur of him leaving the hotel where the show had been stopped, driving here with maybe a few hours sleep caught in an empty parking lot here and there. He didn’t know what he was in for, all he knew was that one of them had to fight.

… Mox better not be lyin or I swear to fuck…. He was starting to get paranoid because she was standing there in front of him, not saying anything. … Why isn’t she sayin something?…. I knew this was a bad….  The thought was driven out of his mind when she suddenly stepped closer. Much closer.

“You’re… I thought you were on the road… You’re missing a show…” Sadie’s words came so fast she nearly stumbled over them and Adam chuckled, shaking his head no. He stepped closer, cautiously.

He figured that par for the course in their not so distant past, he’d have to make the first actual move or be the one to say it, so it surprised the hell out of him when he found himself shoved against the door frame and her molding against him.

“Sadie?”

“ I never should have let you go.” She muttered it quietly, shaking her head as she looked up at him nervously. Trying to work up the nerve to do something.

To kiss him.

Seeing him standing on her porch only drove home just how much she really missed him.

When she grabbed hold of his black tee shirt and started to use it to pull his mouth down to her own, the weirdest thing happened. Every single frame from the recurring dream she’d been having for a while now suddenly played back in total vivid clarity in her mind and it was enough to leave her gasping as she saw the blank spaces and blurry images filling themselves in.

Adam groaned, not wasting any time grabbing her ass and pulling her up his body, meeting her mouth with his own. “It was you. I knew it.” maybe one of them mumbled it, maybe both… The words were swallowed up by teeth nipping at lips, by tongues clashing hungrily, almost desperately. Her hand raised and she dragged it through his hair, tugging, causing him to grip her tighter and growl quietly.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry..”

“Shh.. It’s okay, darlin. Everything is gonna be just fine now. I promise. Ain’t lettin you go again, I swear.”

“I hope not. It’s been hell.”

“It has for me too. Trust me on that.”

[tilwecrashandburn]

Trapped in a Shattered Mirror

I am writing this, so that through all the manipulation and false realities, I never forget who you really are. So that I never forget what you put me through. 

I was in a pretty serious relationship. For the sake of anonymity, I will refer to my former lover as Mariah. Mariah and I were college sweethearts (I know, I should have known we were doomed from the start with just that single piece of information alone). To the point of this story, we had been dating consistently from 2014-2018. Although we had our fair share of issues before then, 2018 is where the craziness elevated and that is the year in which this story takes place. 

I was a school year ahead of Mariah in a relatively small, party-centric university in Ohio. That is where we met. There were warning signs early on that I ignored. For one, she had a whole secret, unclaimed boyfriend who she ended up leaving to be with me. For two, she flirtatiously entertained every man who would acknowledge her to the point where it seriously made me question the entire relationship.

 I graduated in 2017 and headed off to graduate school in another university about an hour way. Mariah still had one more year left at our alma mater. At first things were cool, but everything started changing during the spring semester. 

Mariah and I began growing apart. I was struggling with grad school. It was one of the hardest times of my life and I felt completely alone. Mariah was living her best life as she celebrated her last year of undergrad. She was coming into herself and I encouraged it. She was an absolutely beautiful woman with an amazing personality and the world began noticing. But it quickly went to her head. 

As the distance between us grew, arguments became more frequent. Mariah was engaging with other men via social media but ignoring me. She began texting another man at the university at the beginning of that semester. I will refer to him as Marcus. I first discovered her communication with Marcus during the winter break heading into spring semester. The were talking on snapchat but he was in the process of pledging so none of it made sense to me. I confronted her about it and she assured me that it was nothing. To my ignorance, they continued talking for the rest of that semester but she would hide it from me. Only her and her friends were aware of what was happening. I would see snaps and videos of Mariah and Marcus hanging together. I confronted her about it but she reassured me that they were only friends and that she had learned her boundaries in regards entertaining other men. She explicitly told me that she was not sexual attracted to Marcus at all and that I had nothing to worry about. 

Spring break came. Mariah and I decided to take a trip together to a new city. The trip was nice and it felt like we were making some sort of progress. I didn’t know that I had already lost her at this point. After spring break, the distance between us continued to grow. It was now April. Although we weren’t on the best terms, we were still together and we still looked out for one another. She was struggling financially that month and asked for me to pay her rent for April. She’s never made such a request before so I took care of it and paid her rent. I then came down to visit but we didn’t talk much. I could tell she was feeling herself and I knew something was up. At this point she was still entertaining Marcus behind my back. She hung with her friends that weekend and I hung with mine. She then got mad at me for being distant during the visit. She had no right, all things considering.

I went back to my grad school that Sunday. By Sunday night, Mariah and Marcus were at a private party and he was caressing her legs and butt and putting his hands up her skirt. She allowed him to do so and expressed how it was turning her on when they were texting about it later. I discovered this information because I read the texts that were deleted from her phone but still on the Apple Watch I bought for her. 

That week in April, we didn’t talk at all. But Mariah and Marcus began kicking it heavier. He was coming to spend the night with her about everyday and they were talking consistently. They would send sexual messages during the day and he would sleep in her bed at night. All of this was happening during the month I paid her rent. Once the week had passed without us talking, I felt very uneasy. I knew something was up. The weekend was upon us. I sent her a message of a song to express how I was feeling. She gave me a dry reply. I decided to drive down to her school and see what was up. 

I made it to her apartment but she wasn’t there. It was nighttime at this point, maybe about 2am. I decided to check her favorite after-party diner. As I stood on the street, I saw her car pull up to the diner. She didn’t see me. But I saw her and Marcus exit the car and go into the diner together. My heart dropped to my feet. I was furious. I texted her to ask where she was. She sent back the “eyes” emoji and dodged the question. I waited. Her and Marcus left the diner. I thought maybe she would just drop him off somewhere and return home with her roommates. That was a foolish thought that I didn’t really believe. I rushed to her apartment. She still wasn’t there. It was at least 3am at this point. I went up to her window but heard nothing. As I turned to head back to my car, Mariah and Marcus crossed my path. The were too deep in laughter and conversation to realize I was there until it was too late. 

I tried to keep my composure as I asked what the hell was going on. She tried to defuse the situation and told me nothing was happening. She told me her and Marcus were just heading into her apartment to play games and chill with her roommates and friends. However, her roommates and friends were either sleep or not around. She tried to hug me and I pushed her away. Marcus then became angry and tried to fight me. Mariah stopped us from fighting. I felt like she was defending him. She told him to leave and he angrily stomped off. 

We entered her apartment and went into her bedroom. I was still heated and questioning her. She was telling me that nothing happened and that I was overreacting. She once again expressed that she was not sexually attracted to Marcus and that she would never do that to me. A part of me believed her. Another part of me didn’t but I had nothing concrete to go off of. I stayed the night in her bed. I woke up early before Mariah did and that is when I went through her phone. I found nothing. Everything was deleted. I then grabbed the Apple Watch and went to my car. It had to be about 6am. I sat in my car for about an hour, reading the lengthy text thread between her and Marcus. That is where I saw all the sexual messages back and forth. That is how I figured out that he had been staying with her that entire week. That is how I confirmed that she was a liar. I felt as if a blackhole was inside my chest, swallowing me into the emptiness. 

I then went back to her room and woke her up calmly. I asked her to tell me the truth. She hesitated. I asked her if her and Marcus had sex. She wouldn’t talk but I knew the truth at this point and she could probably hear it in my voice. She eventually admitted to having sex with Marcus the night before I came down (Friday night - it was now Sunday morning). They had sex in her bed. She cheated on me in her apartment during a month when I paid her rent. She allowed me to sleep in the very same spot that they had just had sex, no more than 24 hours prior to this conversation, on the same unwashed sheets. They had unprotected sex and she even gave him head. I was disgusted and outraged. My sense of calmness was gone. She wasn’t even apologetic. She was cold and dry. She blamed me and compared me to Marcus. She said Marcus was so happy-go-lucky and that I was a depressing factor in her life. She made a negative comment about how I wasn’t living up to the stature of my dead father. She broke me. I sat there lost. 

I knew Marcus and Marcus knew me. I tried to explain to her that he was not the perfect man that she tried to portray him to be. He was a woman user and she was just another name on the list. She didn’t listen. She didn’t care.

I stayed for the next day or two. Marcus was still hitting her up but she was ignoring him. I told her to block him on everything but she wouldn’t, no matter how much I begged and pleaded. She couldn’t even do that for me. I asked her to stop seeing him and told her that I wanted to work on us. She assured me that she was done with Marcus and would try to make things work with me. 

Eventually I returned to my grad school. Mariah and I began talking more but something was still off. She was still talking to Marcus behind my back. She was still seeing him everyday. She went over his place a few days later and they had sex again. I would come down to visit, and he would come over to her place as soon as I left. I tried to cut her off but she then drove to see me, crying and begging for me to be with her. We would argue and she would held back down to her school to be with Marcus, although she was telling me that they were no longer a thing. She would talk about how she was disgusted to even look at him when they were out in public and that she was no longer speaking to him. That was just a lie to make me feel better. They were closer than ever. I could feel it. I was done at this point but its hard to completely throw away 3-4 years of your life. I was conflicted. I was alone and vulnerable. I didn’t know what to do. 

And then it was time for Mariah’s graduation. It was now May. I expressed that I wasn’t going to come. She told me that if I didn’t come, she would never forgive me. I ended up coming. When I got to her apartment, the energy was off. I noticed she was wearing Marcus’s Nike slides but I didn’t say anything. I got drunk af that night. Marcus avoided me but was still hitting Mariah up to see where she was once the bars closed. I soon discovered that she still had not blocked him and that she was still talking to him and seeing him consistently. I confronted her, and she got mad at me for doing so. She said I was ruining things when she had it all under control. She told me her plan was to keep entertaining Marcus until she graduated because she didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I was furious that she was putting his feelings equal to or above mine. I expressed this to her but nothing changed. I was being gaslit. 

Now that she had graduated, we were back in the same city. My grad school was in her hometown. However, she still had her old apartment for a few more months down at our alma mater. At this point I was in a depressed state. I didn’t want to do anything. I didn’t want to eat. Apparently, I was “bringing her down.” She wanted an escape and planned a trip to go back down to her school. I tried to convince her not to and suspected that she was only going down to see Marcus again. She assured me that she was not going to see Marcus. She then went back to her old apartment and hung out with Marcus and her friends as an escape from the miserable atmosphere that she left me sitting in back in her hometown. Broken can’t even begin to describe my state at this point. I had lost 20 pounds. I was taking some of the biggest finals of my life in-between full-blown crying sessions. I hated everything but still wanted to be with Mariah. I should have cut her off when I had the chance. I should have realized my worth sooner. 

I feel like I forced her to stop talking to Marcus eventually. She never did so on her own accord. The apologies never felt real. The entire incident felt like it was swept under the rug and downplayed immensely. Things were toxic and I haven’t been happy since.

A couple years later, he got outed as a sexual predator on one of those MeToo pages. Multiple women came out to speak against the horrible things this man did to them. But the relationship between him and Mariah was completely voluntary and consensual. She cheated on me with him and put the desires of a sexual predator before me and my feelings. Her boyfriend of years. She praised this man so highly despite my warnings. She belittled, embarrassed, and ruined me and I feel horrible for sitting by and letting it happen. When the news came out about Marcus’s true character, Mariah tried to flip the story and play the victim. She was not the victim and I clearly recall her telling me multiple times how she was “using him” and he wasn’t using her. She was the predator in a sense. Maybe they belonged together. 

I’ve never told anyone this story. But I didn’t want it to fade into the abyss with my dying memory. I needed to relive this story once more so that I can finally try to move passed it for-real. Mariah and I are still in communication, but at this point, I am realizing that we will never work out. The history is just too tainted and I still feel wronged. There are so many people in the world so I don’t understand why I should feel like I have to be with her. Why do I have to be with anyone? Whenever I try to leave, she guilts me back in. She will probably never understand the amount of pain she has put me through. I don’t even think she wants to try. And if I try to express it to her, she will only tell me about the pain that I have put her through. I feel like I’m trapped in a shattered mirror. 

[purplesurveys]

816

What have you been up to today? Anything interesting? I decided to be a 14 year old again and watched video clips of my OG, ride or die, absolute favorite OTP this morning and I fangirled like it was 2012 lol. I haven’t revisited that ship in around six or seven years so it was surreal to see their scenes all over again and I was beaming all morning hahaha. Other than that, I do have a meeting in an hour but I find that more blah than interesting... WHYYYYY I volunteered for a shitload of extracurricular positions before this quarantine started, I’ll never know. What was the last thing you ate? My sister had found this bread recipe on YouTube last night and I loooooved what she made, so I asked her to make it again this morning. Do you know how to knit? Who taught you? We were taught in Grade 6 by our home economics teacher, but 1) I wasn’t interested and 2) kinesthetic learning has never been my forte, so I wasn’t able to follow from as early as step 1. What state or territory were you born in? Continued the day after, lol oops. I was born in Manila. Are you the type of person to dwell on the past? Only in such a way that I prefer to hold grudges, so on that front I’m technically perpetually dwelling on the past. I can get over other stuff relatively easily.

Are there many traffic incidents in your area? There’s a usual bottleneck spot three minutes away that gets really bad in the evening when everyone is trying to get home, but the traffic becomes a lot more loose when you get to the part of the highway leading to my village. What's your favourite genre of music? I vibe with R&B and some indie rock the best. Have you ever been for a ride in the back of a truck? No, I think that’s mostly illegal here lol. People usually ride the back of pickup trucks when they’re inside gated areas, but it’s a different story once they get to the highway. Are you currently downloading anything? Nope. I haven’t (illegally) downloaded a book since March-ish, and a movie since...2016, maybe. Have you seen any good movies lately? Tell me about them. Nah I prefer shows these days. The last good one I watched was Descendants of the Sun; it really lives up to the hype and is genuinely one of the better Korean dramas out there. It centers on a special forces captain and doctor and how their lives and respective careers intertwine in a war-stricken country. Does your father have any facial hair? He grows it but he shaves it off regularly. What's your favourite thing to eat for breakfast? Ideally it would be Eggs Benedict, but realistically I really like scrambled eggs, bacon, and fried rice. Did your grandparents teach you anything? My maternal grandpa was one of the smartest people I knew and from the second I was born he loved giving me little facts about every topic that could possibly exist, but especially about history and how things work or are made. My maternal grandma is super traditional and taught me more maternal and old-school stuff like how to be more ladylike, the different benefits of vegetables (like how carrot and squash are good for your eyes haha), and random facts about Christianity – basically stuff you’d expect from an Asian grandma lol. Because I didn’t really grow up with my paternal grandparents and since they’re a lot more reserved to begin with, I haven’t gotten the chance to learn a lot from them.

Do you want/have a Bachelor's degree? I want one and I’m on my way to getting it, but because of Covid the road to graduating has been slower than normal. The college has already decided and we’re only going to have an online graduation which really bums me out, and that’s gonna happen by late July. Have you ever written a song for or about somebody? I’ve never written a song, period. What are the longest and shortest romantic relationships you've been in? I’ve only had two stints and they’ve been with the same person. The shorter one lasted eight months, while the longer and ongoing one has been going on for four years. Would you go on one of those galactic space flights if you had the chance? If it was free, for sure. Do you like your license photo? Yes hahaha. The license people had a laugh once my card got printed out because I had a wide-ass smile on my face (the photographer said it was fine to smile, and he didn’t tell me off when I smiled with my teeth), and apparently that’s not normal at all because people would always choose to look stoic in their licenses. The amusement on their faces was funny to me and we ended up laughing together sksksksk. Are you into superheroes? Who's your favourite? I am not. I watched the Wonder Woman movie two years ago and that was really nice, but I’m generally not into superheroes. Spotify, Pandora or something else entirely? Spotify. The only Pandora we have here is the jewelry shop. What colours do you wear the most? I’d say black or mustard yellow. What was the last alcoholic beverage you had? I had a bottle of peach soju last Friday. How many televisions do you have in your house? How big is the biggest? Four. I dunno the dimensions of the biggest one we have but it’s pretty...big lol Have you ever been to Arizona? Did you like it? I have not. I like Arizona tea though :))) Do you have any exercise equipment in your home? Yeah we have a couple of dumbbells and my mom has a rowing machine thing. Are you a gossip-loving sort of person? Yes. Not the best trait of mine I gotta say, but it is a guilty pleasure. What brand of laptop or computer do you own or use most often? Apple. What did you have for dinner last night? We had some sort of Korean beef with vegetables. How old were you when you learned to tie your own shoelaces? The thing is, this was one of our exams in kindergarten, so I had to learn it to ace that test even though I’ve always been bad when it comes to hands-on learning. My grandma painstakingly taught me when I was five and she had to start teaching me weeeeeeks before the exam to accommodate how slow I am when it comes to lessons like that haha. Have you ever felt like you were making a mistake when dating someone? Certainly felt that way in the latter part of my first relationship. ^ Did you continue the relationship or end it when you realised? I continued it only because I’ve just never been the dumper type when it comes to relationships. I waited several months for her to realize so that she can do the breaking-up, but yeah those were several wasted months for me. When was the last time it rained where you live? Yesterday it rained hard all afternoon. Have you ever bought one of those 'As Seen on TV' products? Nope, but I like watching the commercials heheh. What brand are the shoes you last wore? Onitsuka Tiger. Do you think you look similar to your siblings? I do. You know how Snapchat has a filter that’ll show how you’d hypothetically look if you were the opposite sex? I’ve tried that out and my face just turns into my brother’s lmao, we look that similar I guess. My sister and I also look alike but much less - there are only certain angles where we do. Have you started watching any new TV shows recently? Mmm not yet. I have so many Korean dramas up on my queue – Crash Landing On You, Fight For My Way, Who Are You: School 2015, Legend of the Blue Sea, Itaewon Class, and Fated to Love You – but I take forever to start on any new series so idrk when I’m gonna start on one of these. When was the last time you sat in the back seat of a car? Around two weeks ago when my parents brought me to a nearby hospital to have me checked for my week-long fever. Are you good at answering random general knowledge trivia questions? I’m better than the average person, I’ll give myself that. Have you ever been obsessive over calories, exercise etc? No. What is your favourite shape of pasta? Fettuccine. Do you live to eat, or eat to live? Liiiiiive to eat. Have you ever played Cards Against Humanity? Did you like it? Yes, but just briefly and sneakily in my old school because Catholic school wouldn’t have tolerated a game like that haha. I found it funny, but I wouldn’t play it all the time. Are you going to work or school tomorrow? Not these days, chief. When did you wake up today? I was awake by 8:30. What is the time right now? 11:58 AM.

[studiobeebo]

SO,,i decided this was cute but difficult to do a complete hc for, so i just made it like a mini hc series with Lots Of Boys

Izuku Midoriya

Izuku is a pretty mild snapchat user to be honest

If he uses it at all, it’s usually to send you a good morning pic on the days the two of you don’t have school

He does this mostly because he knows you get a kick out of his adorably wild bedhead

He also likes to post pics of you on his story whenever the two of you are out on dates or you just happened to do something photo worthy, but other than that he doesn’t post much else to his story other than the occasional pretty scenery or selfies of him and his mom

Katsuki Bakugou

He’s an aggressive snapchatter

Says he hates that ‘stupid fucking app’ but he still uses it?? No one really gets his logic

Everyone he knows gets at least one snap of him flipping them off once a day and yes, that means even you

He’s also surprisingly funny and often sends you funny snaps of his friends doing dumb shit

Katsuki also definitely sends ‘Mom snaps’ but with his usual tone and pictures of his grumpy face or a blurred background

“you better be fucking sleeping”

“get off your ass and get some fresh air”

“Its cold if you aren’t wearing a jacket by the time to get to school i’ll kill you”

He also replays all of your snaps (especially if they’re selfies) but will heavily deny doing so

Iida Tenya

He’s...not really a Snapchat person

He has it, but that’s mostly because of the efforts of both you, Ochako, and Izuku convincing him to get one so you could have a group chat

Never really posts to his story much just because he sees you and his friends daily anyways and would prefer to talk to them face to face instead

But he still does use Snapchat to talk to you! He basically uses it the same way he would through messenger since he really only talks rather than sends things, but he likes the cute pictures you send him and he enjoys being able to keep up with your life when he’s not around!

Shoto Todoroki

He’s the Grandpa Snapchatter That has no idea how to use half of the functions

Took him two months to even understand what a filter was, let alone use them

He doesn’t really get the concept of selfies either so the ones he sends you are really awkward, usually just his straight face and something simple like “How are you?”

Even though he’s sort of plain, it’s actually really cute because he checks up on you quite frequently using Snapchat

Plus he’s the cutest hype man when it comes to your snap stories and he ends up sending a lot of messages saying how nice you looked in a certain selfie you posted

Kirishima Eijirou

He’s a very excitable snapchatter and snapchats everyone and everything

This is sort of bad because his Snapchat stories can be extremely long but he just can’t help it!!! He loves broadcasting his friends to...well, all his other friends.

Not only that, but he loves being a bit of a showoff when it comes to you as well

He definitely takes pictures of you (with your permission of course) before posting them to his story with like 30 little heart gifs or lovey bitmojis because he!!! Just loves you so much!!!! And he wants everyone to see his incredible amazing awesome attractive s/o!!

He has also saved every single snapchat picture the two of you have ever taken together and rotates his favorites as his phone backgrounds

Kaminari Denki

Meme snapchatter. His stories consist of funny things he sees during the day, but it’s mostly him taking pictures of Mr. Aizawa or his friends and drawing funny faces on them

He’s definitely the one who sends dumb questions or snaps in the group chat at 3 AM, usually it’s either you or Bakugou telling him to shut up and go to sleep (though how you say it is much sweeter than how Bakugou does).

He’s also one to show you off on his story as much as possible, he loves taking selfies with you especially if you let him pick out one of the weirder filters and he’ll d e f i n i t e l y save said selfie as his phone background later on.

Shinsou Hitoshi

Shinsou doesn’t use Snapchat religiously like some of his friends and classmates do, but he does use it

He’s pretty infamous for almost never responding to people and leaving them on read, though sometimes it’s not on purpose, he just forgets about it easily.

Most of his snaps aren’t of his face and aren’t too specific, generally just whatever’s in front of him.

Really all he ever posts on his story are the cats he runs into when he’s out and about or pictures of you and him together

A piece sign is honestly just muscle memory for him at this point

He himself usually chooses not to bother with Snapchat filters, but he doesn’t mind it when the two of you are taking pictures together to post on your story. The amount of pictures you have of him with a grumpy face that’s the opposite of the cute cat filter surrounding it is ridiculous, yet somehow he allowed you to screenshot and save all of them.

The two of you are also pretty teasing to one another so he’ll often take random pictures of you with minimal sarcastic captions

“they’re cute sometimes”

“that’s my sweater they’re wearing and i probably won’t get it back”

“dork.”

Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu

He actually doesn’t use his Snapchat much and he’s that guy that muted the group chat like seven years ago.

He takes so, so many screenshots of everything you post on your story though and will often repost them to his own story with captions along the lines of “my s/o is cute to the max!”, “they’re so talented <3”, and stuff like that

Oddly enough, even though he doesn’t take many pictures, he does like taking pictures of the two of you cuddling together

He just thinks you look so damn cute snuggled up to his chest like that and he likes to look at those pictures to be reminded of how warm you make him feel when he’s feeling down

Hawks

Idiot snapchatter

Takes a lot of videos of him doing dumb stuff, or him doing “cool” stuff so he can show off

He posted his Snapchat publicly so he has many, many followers and he likes to put on a show for them

He posts to his story daily and he makes even the most mundane things like his commute into work entertaining in some way

His stories consist of a good balance of annoyingly cute selfies and awesome scenery since he can get to high up places a lot of people can’t

Because he has many followers though, he also likes to be very smug about his incredible s/o

He brags about you religiously, often taking pictures of the two of you doing whatever it is you’re doing together with captions like “my s/o is better at (insert thing) than yours is” along with a shrug emoji and him sticking his tongue out

He’s also like that privately though and will have his coworkers take pictures of him laying on the ground as if he passed out to send to you in response to the selfies you send him

Even though it can be annoying to have your relationship on display at times, it is incredibly cute and flattering to have him promote you how he does

Unfortunately he’s also the idiot that comes up with elaborate ways to say “send nudes” in his private snapchats to you….and sometimes he gets lucky and is “forced” to ‘leave work as soon as possible’ for ‘extreme emergency reasons’ because of the snaps you gift him with.

[ewankoseyo]

my person || mark imagine

A/N: This request has been sitting in my inbox for about two weeks, so apologies to the anon who sent this and I hope you enjoy this one! Prequel/sequel to the “your song” drabble I did, so check it out if you haven’t yet! Also the reasoning behind “Build Me Up Buttercup” being “your song” may also be loosely based off of real life (if you really want the story behind that, lmk lol)

“I’m so in love with your Mark “your song” story, could you do a continuation? Like, the reader goes on a drive with him and then they start talking about their relationship and what happened within the months of not talking to each other? And pls make it fluffy I love fluffy Mark. If not, it’s totally fine! Thank you!!”

“You staying up tonight?”

That text is how it always starts. Before you know it, you’re pulling up in Mark’s car to the nearby mart to buy snacks and energy drinks for another all-nighter.

“You know, if you started sooner, you wouldn’t have to cram a whole semester’s worth of material into one night,” Mark teased as he held the door open for you.

“Hey, it’s not might fault I got the professor from hell who expects us to live, breath, and eat o-chem,” you jabbed back. “You’re the one who decided to study for his final at the last minute.”

“Because I had no choice. I had two other projects due this week and I had to handle logistics for the club’s fundraising event,” Mark gave you an unamused look. “You can walk home if you want.”

“Touché, Mr. I’m-in-a-competitive-major-AND-the-backbone-of-this-club,” you resigned, giving him a light shove. Whenever you’d make fun of him, Mark had to have the last word by reminding you that you were always mooching off of him for rides. “Stop messing around and get some snacks. I have a paper to submit before 11:59.”

“You’re lucky I don’t charge you for gas.” He stuck his tongue out at you before walking off to the nearest aisle of unhealthy goods.

Mark already had some chips, a couple packs of ramen, and three cans of coffee in his basket when he heard a familiar tune play in the overhead speakers. Right on cue, he heard rushed footsteps coming from behind him.

“It’s like they know we’re here!” You tossed some snacks into his basket before dancing in place to the song.

“This song is haunting us,” he joked, bopping his head along as he scanned the shelves for more food. You sidled up next to Mark and held out your hand.

“Dance with me.”

He rolled your eyes and gently shoved you away. “You’re wasting time! I thought you had a paper due?”

“You’re no fun,” you frowned before continuing to sing. “Why do you build me up, buttercup baby...”

“No, I’m just more responsible,” he bantered. “Is this everything?” You nodded, taking the basket from him as you sang along.

It seemed like many students had the same idea of staying up late to study, as there was a bit of a line at the only checkout stand open. Ever since coursework in your respective majors had picked up in the middle of the semester, this became a regular occurrence for you and your best friend. You would text Mark asking if he was planning to stay up late to get work done. After picking you up to grab snacks with him, Mark would take you back to his studio for a busy night. You had stayed over at his place so many times, you kept extra toiletries and clothes there. Tonight was no different.

Mark softly sang along to the tune as he walked over to join the queue, following your animated form.

“I need you, more than anyone darling, you know that I have from the start...”

Mark, deciding to play along just once, pretended to hold up a microphone to your lips and looked at you expectantly for you to sing. You shot him a grin as you happily obliged.

“So build me up, buttercup, don’t break my heart...”

You giggled at the silliness of the situation as you finished your part, averting your attention to the line shortening in front of you. As you quietly waited for your turn, you couldn’t help but feel a pair of eyes on you. You glanced back at Mark, who stared back down at you shamelessly, a small smile playing on his lips. 

“What?” You asked, narrowing your eyes at him suspiciously. Mark was usually one to shy away from any kind of attention, but at that moment, it was as if he was subtly begging you for it.

“Nothing,” he shook his head, his smile casually turning into a smirk. “I was just thinking about something.”

“About what?”

“About how I’d be nothing without you,” Mark replied simply before glancing in front of you. “Oh, there’s space now.” Disregarding your stunned expression, he moved in front of you and began loading out contents from your basket onto the conveyor belt. 

“Wha...” You silently stood there dumbfounded as Mark paid for the snacks. He took the bags from the cashier and was about to start leaving when he noticed you weren’t following him. 

“Hurry up, fool,” he playfully scolded, smirking at your frozen form. “Didn’t you say you had a paper due before midnight?” You shook yourself out of your thoughts and gave him another shove in response, not quite trusting your voice at that moment. You rushed out of the store before him, giving yourself some time for the winter air to bring your inflamed cheeks back to normal body temperature. 

“Nothing without you?” What on earth was he talking about?

Mark never brought those words up again the rest of that night. They plagued you, distracting you from your word document and forcing your attention back to the boy splayed out on his bed and reading in front of you. He’d look up and respond to your gaze with a smile, teasingly pointing to your laptop as if silently scolding you to keep working, before returning to his textbook. 

He never brought those words up ever again.

——

You found him leaning against the front of his car with his hands in his pockets, staring off into the distance. With the way his hair was done up and his outfit was a far cry from his usual hoodies and soccer pants, you wondered where he could have come from at this hour. 

“Mark?” The boy immediately shot up from his relaxed position when he heard his name, hurriedly straightening himself out before looking at you. As you walked closer to him and got a better look at Mark’s face, you found his expression unreadable. 

He couldn’t read yours either.

“H-hi.”

“Hi.” You both stood there a few feet apart, silently staring at one another and waiting for the other to say something. Awkwardly clearing his throat, Mark took the initiative. 

“Oh, uh, you should get in, it’s kind of cold,” he rushed over to the passenger side and opened the door for you. You nodded a silent thanks before getting into the car. The two of you remained quiet as Mark slid into the driver’s seat, the ignition starting up being the only sound permeating the air. He hummed softly as he drove through the neighborhood. You stared at the buildings passing by, shooting furtive glances at the boy next to you. 

“How have you been?” You asked hesitantly. It had almost come out as a whisper.

“Okay,” Mark replied, his tone as undecipherable as his expression. He kept his attention on the road before him. “How are you? Did you finish your research paper?”

“Yeah, got it done under an hour. Like I said I would.” 

“I see.” Resume silence. Mark made a left turn out of the neighborhood. As he drove along the waterfront, you knew exactly where he was going. Night drives with Mark usually took you to a mountain overlooking the city. Whenever school and your impending futures became too much to bear, you two would end up there to clear your heads.  

“Saw that y—” 

“Haven’t—” 

“No, you,” you both said simultaneously. You laughed awkwardly. Perhaps you made a mistake in replying to his text?

You shook your head. “I was just going to say that it’s been awhile since I ventured out of the city, is all. What were you going to say?” 

Mark glanced over at you. “Oh, I was going to say...I saw, uh, that you were listening to some music.” He mentally slapped himself for making this situation weirder than it already was. “You were listening to the song.” 

 “You were listening to it too...” you mentioned quietly, staring out the window. “Is that why...?”

“Yes,” Mark nodded solemnly. “It came up in the playlist, and I, um, I guess I just thought of you.”

“Oh.” After pulling into the familiar destination, Mark parked the car and switched the engine off. It was now completely silent as you both gazed out the window at the city lights below. Could he hear how rapidly your heart was beating in your chest? 

Because Mark was pretty sure you could hear his. 

“I was thinking about you too.”

Mark unbuckled his seat belt and turned in his seat to look at you properly. “You were?”

You nodded, shifting yourself to face him. As your eyes scanned over him, you almost wanted to cry. Mark was real. He wasn’t just a a tagged guest feature in a mutual friend’s Instagram post or a memory that Snapchat used to remind you of how happy you were a year ago. Your old best friend, your person, was sitting right in front of you, giving you the softest look—just as he used to do.

But for some reason, it felt like he was lightyears away. 

“Was that the first time you’ve thought of me? Ever since—”

“Why did you leave me?” Mark cuts you off suddenly. 

“I’m sorry?” Did you hear that correctly?

His hands fumbled around in his lap. “You think I didn’t notice how you blocked me on every social media platform? I’m surprised you didn’t block my number. I only knew you didn’t delete your accounts because I once saw Jackson tagging you in a picture he was posting.” He shook his head and sighed at the thought. “You disappeared, I only heard about you when a friend mentioned you. So...why’d you basically delete me from your life?”

You looked at him in disbelief. “I deleted you from my life?” Mark nearly jumped from the sudden volume increase in your voice. It was sharp as a knife, cutting through him with every word. “You think I wanted to ignore you?”

“W-why else wou—”

“Do you know how much it hurt me to see you happy with all of our friends and still be doing well after we stopped talking?” Tears welled up in your eyes and you began to feel yourself choking up on your words, but you continued. You didn’t realize until then how much the hurt had been eating away inside of you for so long. Once you were started, you couldn’t stop. “I was dying on the inside every single day because I couldn’t talk to you, but you seemed perfectly fine with everything. It was as if...you weren’t affected at all.” You quickly wiped the tears away with your sleeve. “So that’s why I blocked you. It hurt too much to see you doing fine when I was already hurting.”

Mark stared back at you cluelessly. “I’m sorry, but I’m a bit confused,” he scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “Why couldn’t you talk to me in the first place? I mean, it was like one day we were the best of friends and then the next, you became a ghost.”

You stared at him in bewilderment. Did he really not understand where you were coming from? Had you been experiencing this whole situation differently than him?

"Do you even realize how this all started?” He slowly shook his head and you sighed before continuing. “Everything was going fine until I felt like you were starting to act weird with me.”

Realization began to dawn on him. “I wasn’t being weird, but you were just—”

“Just listen to me, you’re doing it again!” You cried out, pointing at him accusingly. “Suddenly, I felt like things were different between us. You didn’t approach me like you would and whenever I’d try to talk to you, you’d give me short answers and brush me off. I would ask if you wanted to grab food and you’d say you had work to do, but then I would see you eating with another friend. When I’d text asking you if you were mad at me or if we were okay, you would just say you weren’t mad and that there was nothing going on. 

So I took your word for it and thought things were fine. I tried to approach and talk to you whenever I’d see you, but I noticed you were still kind of standoffish with me. I couldn’t exactly ask you about it in person because you were always surrounded by everyone.”

“You texted asking to meet with me,” Mark recalled aloud, nodding slowly.

“Yeah, and I told you in person how I felt. I told you that I noticed things were different. I told you that I felt too intimidated to reach out and talk to you first in person because I was afraid of you brushing me off in front of everyone. I even apologized if I did anything to hurt you and begged to for us to talk it out. And then do you remember what you said back?” You asked bitterly, continuing before he could try to answer. “You told me that you didn’t understand where this was all coming from. You were so certain that you weren’t acting any different and that you didn’t have a problem with me. You said that this was just my problem, not yours. That you were just living your life, and that if I was going to keep making a big deal out of something that shouldn’t be, you were going to leave because you didn’t need to put up with anymore of my BS.” 

Mark stared at his lap and shook his head regretfully. “Yes, I remember.” 

“I was really trying to talk to you in a way that didn’t made it sound like I was blaming you, because you had voiced to me before how you hated feeling attacked. I stressed to you that this was all how I felt,” you explained shakily. “Then all you had to say was that it was just my problem. Do you have any idea how awful that was for me? You made me feel guilty for feeling. You made me feel like my emotions were invalid. You made me feel like I was going crazy.”

“I-I’m sorry I made you feel that way.”

You rolled your eyes amid the tears at the lame apology. “I couldn’t pretend everything was fine and talk to you normally after that without feeling afraid of your response, and you obviously weren’t going to approach me first, so that’s how we stopped talking.”

He cleared his throat awkwardly at your realization. “It sounds like you had a lot of time to think about this.”

“Yeah, well, thinking is all you can do when you don’t have anyone to talk to about this,” you sighed dejectedly, sniffling a bit. “Everyone worships you, Mark—how smart you are, how talented you are, how quietly snarky you are. You never ask for attention, but they’re more than happy to give it to you. You’ve got them all in the palm of your hand without even trying. If I were to explain to anyone else how I felt, they would think I was crazy too.”

Silence filled the air once again, besides your attempt to suppress your hiccups, as you both let your words simmer. You had been over all of this before, only this time it seemed like Mark was actually listening to you rather than passing off your words as nonsense. Whatever happened next, the ball was in Mark’s court. 

"I freaked out,” Mark finally admitted.

“What?”

“Did you ever hear what everyone was saying? About us?” He looked almost embarrassed as he asked. 

You had an idea of what he was getting at but decided to press on. “What were they saying..?”

Mark sighed, anxiously running a hand through his neat hair. “How...they thought I liked you. Like liked you. How they thought we were already together. How they all apparently shipped us together. Freshmen from the club who I barely talked to kept coming up to me asking when we were going to be a thing. One even told me that they all secretly called us mom and dad.”

“Oh.” You stared out at the city lights wistfully, suddenly feeling small under Mark’s gaze. You had heard it all before. Even when you two would just be sitting next to each other, people would shoot you a knowing look without Mark noticing. You had secretly enjoyed all the talk, believing that if everyone else saw the chemistry between you guys, maybe Mark soon would too. You should have known better, Mark was talking about these rumors as if they were a bad thing to believe. “But you never cared what people said about you, truth or rumor. Why were you so stressed over that rumor?” 

“Because it wasn’t a rumor,” he replied effortlessly. Just like you, once started, Mark couldn’t be stopped. Without a word, he gently took one of your hands from your lap and laced your fingers through his. You had forced Mark to hold your hand before—“That guy just can’t take the hint that I’m not into him. Mark, hold my hand and pretend we’re together!”—but he had never initiated. Actually, he rarely initiated skinship with you, but you were also the only one he let cling onto him like a leech. “You know me, I’m not one to talk about my feelings. If everyone else catches onto them, it becomes a whole ordeal.” His other hand came up to your face and he gently caressed the tears away with his thumb. You made no move to shy away from his touch. “I’m supposed to be the guy who just focuses on doing well in his major and on leading our club. Whoever I liked, if there was anyone I liked, would just be a mystery for everyone to gossip about behind my back and I was fine with that.”

“Mark, why couldn’t you just tell me how you felt?” You asked, disappointment laced in your voice. “We’re best friends, we tell each other everything.”

“Exactly, you’re my best friend.” Mark drew his hands away from you and looked back down at them in his lap shamefully. You instantly missed his hand holding yours. “I thought I was really good at hiding my feelings. If everyone else was able to see them, that probably meant that you did too. And I,” He sighed, sparing you a glance. “I was afraid of what would happen if you did, so I tried not to be so obvious.”

“So that’s why you became distant with me?”

He nodded. “I figured that if I was, no one would suspect a thing. You wouldn’t suspect a thing. How was I going to risk our friendship by you knowing how I really felt?”

“Well you pretty much destroyed our friendship when you stopped talking to me, so you really had nothing to lose,” you pointed out almost bitterly.

“I deserve that,” he replied sadly, pursing his lips as he looked at you. “And more. You think I’ve been doing okay all this time? The truth is that I’ve been a mess. I didn’t know what was going on with you. If I didn’t see you in Jackson’s photo or Bambam’s story, you could have been dead for all I knew. I couldn’t ask anyone about you without them being suspicious of how I felt or asking me why we weren’t together as much as before, so I kept quiet.” 

“But I saw you hanging out with everyone else, you seemed so happy,” you shook your head in disbelief, widening your eyes at that boy before you. “And you were always so busy with your classes and the club, I really thought that I was getting in your way.”

Mark gave you a sad smile, his eyes softening as he gazed into yours. “When have you ever listened to me when I was being distant and stubborn? When I was being me? You were always the persistent in our friendship.”

“With the way you were acting strange and not approaching me, I thought you needed space from me.”

“No, I realized I was being stupid. I needed my person. I needed you,” he said softly. “I’ve been nothing without you.”

“Mark...” He gently cupped your face as he noticed your tears beginning to resurface. He kissed your forehead before placing his against yours. 

“I’m so sorry for hurting you,” Mark whispered, his voice heavy with regret. “You didn’t deserve to suffer just because I was being immature and didn’t know how to handle my feelings. I didn’t reach out to you tonight expecting anything from you, I just had to see you again if even for only a second.”

“Did you suffer without me?” 

“Every single day.”

“Then we’re even,” you replied softly before pressing your lips against his. You clung onto his blazer to pull him closer to you, subconsciously afraid he would vanish into thin air if you weren’t holding onto him for dear life. He cradled your neck with one hand and caressed your cheek with the other, gently taking your bottom lip between his lips.

Your lips were soft and sweet. You tasted like vanilla and sunshine amid pockets of pain and sadness and regret. You tasted like home.

Mark tasted like he'd been longing to go home.

Pulling away for air, you gazed into each others’ eyes, tears of happiness respectfully making their appearance as you both laughed at one another. Gently, albeit clumsily, Mark picked you up over the middle console and placed you on his lap, earning a giggle from you. You buried yourself in his chest and inhaled the scent you had missed for too long as Mark held you tight.

“Don’t leave me ever again.”

“Then don’t send me way ever again,” you shot back, looking up at him and grinning. 

He kissed your forehead once again before placing his chin on top your head and holding you tighter. As you updated him on what you’ve been up to in the last couple of months, Mark silently promised himself to not let you go, because he was truly nothing without you.

——

[hedwigsimagines]

Bon voyage - Malta

There was the tiniest air of sadness when it was revealed that they would be making another series of bon voyage. Don't get me wrong, the boys were all so excited and grateful when they were given the chance to go to malta but once those feelings settled they realised that they would be apart from us for their entire break. All the talks you and V had about how you would go to the beach and teach him how to paddleboard could no longer happen as you’d be in different countries. Mine and Jin's plan of just being in each others company was also out the window. None of us were dating but we were such a huge part of each other lives that it would be hard to say goodbye for even the length of a trip. What the boys didn't know however was that their director had pulled us to one side to have a chat. He was well aware of this issue and wanted this trip to be as memorable for the members as possible since they didn't get breaks often. He offered us an earlier flight into malta as a surprise to the boys on the condition that we weren't filmed. Even though the Army loved us, it was in the best interest of us and the boys to keep hidden, which we totally understood considering some fans were too protective over them. Trying to hide our excitement we said our ‘sad’ goodbyes to everyone two days before they were due to leave. Though V insisted you stay with them until the very last second you remained strong and pretended that you needed to give them time to pack.

 In reality, me and you rushed to our apartment just down the road to pack for our flight in less than 24 hours.  It upset me to see Jin slightly tear up saying goodbye and you couldnt help but get a pang in your chest when V pouted at your goodbyes. Over the months we had spent together it was no secret that we had gotten closest with V and Jin. Everyone around us would mistake us as couples but none of us agreed despite all your and v feelings for each other and jin and mine. We kept our act up even as we boarded the plane, getting the directors to keep the boys busy so that they wouldnt question why we didnt reply straight away due to being on the plane. Though we were best friends we had our separate music and did our own thing to occupied on the journey.  I slept for the most part and you read or binged Netflix. Malta heat hit us straight away and it sunk in where we were. It took everything not to post a pic or Snapchat for fear one of the 7 would see it. They would be joining us in just over 24 hours so we made our way to the hotel to unpack. The flight really took a toll on us and we didn't really want to venture out without the guys so we opted for a girly evening with malta take out, loud music, face masks, the lot! Picking the rooms was a challenge. There were four rooms (one isn't shown in the episode as it would have given away that we were there). 

As we were settled in with a plate of food my phone lights up with a skype call…from Jin. Me and you both panic because there was no way we could let it just ring (they would get suspicious) but we clearly weren't in our house. You quickly run out of the room and come back with a massive duvet. You throw it over our heads and tell me to answer the call. All the boys are huddled around Jin, staring into the screen with our darkened faces visible. When Rm questions our setting you calmly explain that we had made a fort and that we were currently in it. The duvet covered any evidence that we were elsewhere and they seemed to believe us, though at one point a malta ad for skincare blasts loudly from the tv and I had to make a dive for the remote. They just wanted to check on us before they slept ready for their flight and we assured them that we were both perfectly okay. You kept looking at V who had a glum expression on his face. You knew that he had to join later on the trip and you wish you could be there to comfort him as he dealt with family problems. J-hope asked what presents we wanted from malta and we played along, asking for shells and loads of pictures. Jk promised to get us all matching malta tops and Jimin said he would try to smuggle malta food through the borders. Everyone eventually and regretfully said goodbye, leaving suga with Jin's phone as he went to the toilet. He makes sure no one is in the room before bringing the camera closer to him and whispering “I know where you really are”. The look on our faces makes him laugh and he says quickly that since the crew weren't inside the BTS house 24/7, they needed someone on the inside to make sure none of the other members found out. He reassured us that no one else knew and goes back to a normal conversation just as Jin walks in to get his phone back. We’ve had a tad to drink and it's gone straight to our eyes so we leave the call and head off to bed. We put everything in room 4 for the time being and sleep there until the boys arrive. The next morning we are up bright and early to get some food to stock up the fridges. The boys get an allowance for things like food and everything but we don't have a budget, so we decided to help them out on things we were certain they wouldn't consider buying like washing up liquid and shampoo. We also travel to a big outlet for a few more clothes since we don't anticipate the heat of malta and knew that dragging 7 males around a shopping centre would be absolute chaos.  ————TIME SKIP ————

We get the news that the boys have touched down in malta and try to think of a plan to surprise them. Since V isn't with them, you decide to save your ‘surprising’ for when he arrives, meaning that you come up with a simple way to surprise the other lot. You call suga secretly when you know he’s away from the others and tell him to get Jin into room number two where I’ll be hiding and waiting. Rushing around, we clean the house up so that it's not obvious someone is already there and when we hear the sounds of voices outside the hotel we get into position. I hide in room two and you wait on the porch out of sight. In our places, we hear the boys enter and their voices echo around the large living room. We’ve been with them so much that we can tell that its j-hope who leaps up the stairs and jimin that follows with lighter steps. They inspect every single room except from room 4 which they are told is the staff's room and off-limits which they respect. Suga lingers a little longer in each room to see if he can spot either of us but even he can't see any trace of us. After they have excitedly run around the whole house, they gather in the front room to decide on who sleeps where. When you know the coast is clear you sneak into the kitchen and boil the kettle. None of the boys seem to notice the sound from the front room and you get ready for your surprise. You wait a few moments then in your most casual voice ever you call out “who else wants a tea?”. The boys freeze in their places. They were used to you calling that back at home but there was no way that they all imagined it in their heads at the same time. None of them move, they are actually a bit scared that it could be a ghost. When no one replies to you, you smirk knowing how scared they must be. Since no one wants to check the kitchen for ghosts Jk decides to reply as a joke “ Me please?”. When you shout back an “okay!” Everyone in the room loses their shit. J-hope jumps into Jks arms while jimin, who is sat closest to the kitchen stares motionless at the source of the voice. Rm is counting staff and tells everyone that it's not a staff member as they are all present. After a couple more minutes you give in , too excited to keep the secret and walk calmly into the living room. “one or two sugars?” you ask calmly and everyone roars in surprise. J-hope and Rm run up and tackle you into a hug. Jk claps in pure surprise while suga laughs hysterically.

 No one can really formulate a sentence other than “What, how, why?” as they stare at you in disbelief. J-hope clings to his chest and in fake annoyance tells you that he legit thought he was talking to a ghost. You perch a seat next to him and giving a knowing look to suga who explains he was in on it. Among all of this, jin looks around as though searching for something or someone. You put on your acting head again (you’re surprisingly good) and look sadly at him. “Faith really did want to come,” you say comfortingly “But there were too many things going on”. He smiles kinda sadly but insists that he understands, after all you’re there and that's amazing! They try and get you to tell the story of how you got to malta but, knowing that you cant without mentioning me, you suggest they pick rooms now and you can talk over dinner. You also make them swear not to tell V and they all pinky promise. Jin is a bit quiet and you lot all try to get him to perk up. Suga tells him that maybe room number two is the best option for him so that he can stay up later in peace to skype me at night. It seems to have worked since he takes the bait and chooses room number two. I've been hiding in the wardrobe for a little over an hour now and you’ve had to come in with some cut up apple so that I don't die in the heat of the cupboard. As Jin sits on his bed with his back facing me I quietly creep up behind him and put my hands over his eyes. He obviously thinks my hands are jimins and lets down his guard for a brief moment to tell “jimin” that he wished I was there. It's only when i let go of his eyes that he turns around and his jaw hits the floor. He looks at me then to the, now open, wardrobe with bits of apple inside, then back to me before engulfing me in a huge bear hug. He is totally silent and we stay there for a while in a big ole hug. RM comes in to check on Jin and when he sees me he shouts “NO WAY!”. You hear this and gather that I've come out of hiding so a hint that the boys should go to Rm.

 For the second time, the guys are dumbfounded and super excited. Jimin slings an arm around you playfully and ruffles your hair with his hand (He is the ONLY one that can just about get away with this for you). Jk joins in with mine and jins hug and tips the three of us over on the bed which creates a massive bundle with everyone. We all sit up, now all on the double bed overlapping limbs and i notice Jin secretly wipe a few tears from his eye but his smile tells me those are happy tears. We stay on the bed for the whole story of how we ended up in Malta and tell them that room 4 was actually our room. Suga makes a joke about how I may as well move my stuff to room 2 with Jin and you stay in room 4 to share with V which makes the three of us (excluding V obviously) blush slightly. But Jin says its a great idea and I can't help but grin that the male i have feels for actually wants to share a room with me. They are filled in on the rules that we are not to be filmed as best as possible for safety reasons and that the editing team is good enough for us to still join in and be edited out later on. No one has really noticed that time has passed so drastically until Rm, whose shoulder you are leaned on, looks out the window to see the Sun beginning to ever so slightly set. It triggers a wave of hunger in all of us and as we get up and stretch, we divide jobs up in order to make dinner. With it still being light outside you , Jimin , Jk and Suga go and explore a bit and get some fresh air while me , j-hope ,Jin and RM go in another direction to get food for later.

SO I made up a whole Tae story for my best friend and wanted to share it with you so if you want another part feel free to ask! Writing isn't my strong point so its more of a casual story ? 

[pisati]

the neuropsych assessment this morning was long and kind of awkward. I think my examiner was training, since we had someone observing. there were a lot of tests, most of which I think I did well on. 

the examiners at one point tried to keep me from being frustrated at my own memory by assuring me that “many people that are educated like yourself want to do well at tests like these and they get upset when they don’t. you’re not supposed to do perfect, and there’s no way to! that’s the whole point.” here’s the thing, though: I knew I wasn’t supposed to. I wasn’t trying to ace it like a test. I was just trying to do my best. but my “best” right now, especially with storing new verbal information, is piss fucking poor. I can tell it’s seriously diminished from where it used to be. I could see why they thought I was upset that I did really badly, but it wasn’t because of some need to do well on tests. it was because I know I’ve done better. I guess that’s what I was there for.

I’m glad I did horribly at some of those memory tasks, though. that should be a huge red flag. someone my age shouldn’t be so bad at remembering details from a story with like 5 sentences, or words in a list. or a sequence of 6 or so numbers, backwards. I met with the doctor before the tests and described my whole situation to him, and tried to describe some of the problems I was having. the key issues right now are short-term memory (things my mom tells me to do, appointments, even my day-to-day. I won’t remember any of it if it’s not written down) and words in general. I trip over my own tongue, I get that tip-of-the-tongue feeling a lot more than I used to, I mix up words (lately I noticed I’ve been having a lot of trouble with sentences that have 3+ people involved: “I told him I showed you what he sent”)... and overall I’ve noticed that thinking in general feels like it takes up too much energy. I told the doctor that it’s actually been kind of a happy side effect that I haven’t been having depressive episodes for as long because I don’t have the energy to be sad for too long and I also can’t remember what I was so upset about. I don’t have the energy to focus on it. that’s nice and all when it comes to depression, but not so nice when it applies to everything else too. anything thought-intensive is exhausting for me now. I told him it feels like pulling on the ripcord on a lawnmower that wants to start but just can’t. 

hopefully I’ll have my results in a few weeks and I’ll have tangible, research-backed proof that I’m not making this up. people keep trying to assure me I’m fine when I know I’m not. it may not seem like a big deal because all of these things are only somewhat inconvenient; I’m not losing chunks of time or blacking out or anything. but it’s getting harder and harder to function, and I’m at a time in my life where I’m supposed to be doing more and more. I can tell it’s been getting worse and the fact that no one is taking me seriously (besides maybe a small handful of my doctors) just means that it’ll have to get to the point where I’m suffering actual memory loss to get anyone to do something about it. and by then where would I be health-wise? how much fucking worse do I have to get? how sick is sick enough? at least with this I’ll hopefully be able to get someone to look further into it. 

I worry about my energy levels too. by the end of next month I may be starting a new job, which means I’ll have to be a functioning person most days of the week again. I still don’t feel ready, even though I’ve had a whole year basically lying in bed. I’ve had things to do pretty much every day for the better part of the last week (at least I think so. I can’t remember), and I just want to sleep for a week. I feel like I need 1-2 recovery days for every day I have to do things. my next off-day is monday, as far as I know, and then wednesday I’m leaving for farm jam. I already feel like I’m crashing. I’m scared that if I start this new job, that’s all I’ll have the energy for. I don’t want to be miserable again. but I don’t know what I’ll ever be able to do if I barely have the energy for a sedentary full-time job, and nothing else. I’m still too tired to cook meals for myself 80+% of the time and I’ve been doing fucking nothing for the last year. I can’t say I’m not worried.  

charlotte still hasn’t gotten back to me about working on her bridal shower decorations. her bridal shower is saturday. part of me wants to say fuck it; it’s her bridal shower, it’s not my problem if she doesn’t want to work on it. the other part of me is a little bitter that she could post on snapchat sitting in bed with the dog but she couldn’t respond to my text from almost 3 days ago now. and I know she has her phone on her all the damn time. she’s always checking her snapchat notifications; hell, she was the first one to look at my story earlier. she’s always looking at texts from her fiancé while she’s driving. but for some reason my texts go unread for days. when we’re together she seems fine but it almost seems like behind my back she doesn’t want much to do with me. she’s still just being nice for the brownie points, because that’s how she is. I have no idea. it’s too tiring to think about it.

speaking of being ignored. I’ve messaged A a handful of times over the last few weeks, but almost every time, besides when I lost louie and asked something about farm jam planning once, he’s left me on read. he’s shown me a couple of times now how one of our friends messages him a lot and he leaves her on read all the time because she annoys him, and yet here I am. he even messaged me something the other day out of nowhere; I don’t think that message was meant for me. he followed up to my “?” but then when I asked about it specifically he stopped replying again. when he was down here last I saw he was on snapchat a lot talking to some girl he must be working with in music; he’s never fucking on snapchat. I don’t care either way, he can do whatever. if I’m upset about anything it’s the fact that he may have just done it again. drove me away, almost for good, came back with his tail between his legs telling me he missed talking to me and whatever else, and I ceded, and now that he’s at least got me back on speaking terms he’s pushing me away again. he can talk to this other girl all fuckin day, just like he could talk to every other one of those trainwrecks he decided to get himself involved with, but me? one of his best friends? the fuck do I matter lmao

I’m going to be staying at his house the night before farm jam; I’m sure we’ll be doing some kind of prep together (maybe food shopping, last-minute details and all that) and we may end up actually going out to the farm together, but I don’t know. if nothing else I’m sure he’ll probably need to use some space in my car; his new one is tiny. I don’t know anything about anything because he hasn’t hardly fucking talked to me in weeks. I’m starting to feel like I don’t even want to deal with him again. I don’t really want his tent near mine in our friend group’s camping area. I don’t care what he’s got going on with who, I just want it to be away from me. I do miss having a best friend, someone I could talk to any time who I knew would get back to me eventually even if he couldn’t right then, and feeling like I had someone there who understood me and cared about me. but looking back it really does seem like it was just a feeling. I feel like I don’t even know him anymore. I mean, I do, I just don’t care for it anymore. I remember being way in over my head with the crush thing, but looking back now... I want to roll my eyes at everything I used to like about him. everything I used to find endearing, now it just... now it just reminds me of him. everything that started getting on my nerves, everything he did that hurt me. anything that reminds me of him feels like a punch to the gut.

it was weird seeing him change the cover photo in the group on facebook to the one I should have been in. it was the winter he graduated, and I was supposed to go up and visit to celebrate with everyone, but the morning I was supposed to leave my birth control had me waking up so nauseous I really thought I was gonna puke. I felt awful all day and ended up staying home. they were all outside the brown, probably. almost everyone in the friend group, including people that were rarely around. and everyone was reminiscing on this picture, including T’s now-wife. I guess I can’t be upset about it; it’s just weird feeling like I was supposed to be in that group. not just for that picture, I mean I was there first. she entered the picture right after I left. literally T met her right after I left, lmao. but she’s been there. she’s been around. I love the group we have and I wish I could be around more, but the fact is that I’m not. it’s not even really mine anymore. I feel like I did in high school; friends with one or two people that were in different friend groups but never in a friend group myself. just floating in the in-between somewhere by myself. it can be really, really isolating, especially once you know what it’s like to feel included. 

I don’t really feel excluded by them, though. they’re all still incredibly kind to me. but I missed out on so much. I was only there for a fraction of their timeline. it’s hard to talk beyond niceties. I don’t have much to say anymore. 

it’ll be nice to be on the farm again, though. the weather will hopefully be nice; I’m seeing a chance of thunderstorms though so I should probably try to waterproof-spray my tent before I leave. or maybe I’ll be okay if we’re in the woods. my friends tout the weekend as pretty much an anything-goes few days. “farm jam” is often used as a reason for doing literally anything. for a lot of them it’s the one weekend a year to get together with everyone, relax... some of them get way fucked up, but I feel like this year might be at least a little more tame, what with people having jobs and T’s wife being.. what, like 7 months along? her due date is the day after my birthday, because of course it is. A tells me they’ve really gotten their shit together since they knew they were expecting. did a whole bunch of work on the trailer, got their back room all cleaned out, got new furniture... good for them. it’s weird seeing this guy I knew as a weed dealer with blacklight posters on his bedroom walls and piles of laundry all over his room getting his shit together and being an adult. I always knew he’d make a good dad though. just weird finally seeing it happen, ya know? what a difference 5 years makes.

at least I have the farm to look forward to. things are stressful right now. I’m worried about fitzie but I’m starting to have some hope he’ll make it a little longer. I want to hope he’ll make it til I’m back from scotland, but he’s been laying around a lot. losing weight, still, despite eating. I think his new heart meds have been helping with his seizures, so that’s really nice. I’m just afraid anything could happen any time now. I barely noticed a plug just a few hours ago, and it ended up being a big one. I’ve been checking his privates every time I take him out of the cage now, because buildup can happen quickly since he can’t clean himself very well anymore. if it gets completely blocked, he won’t be able to pee, and that’s bad, obviously. sometimes the plug is pretty obvious because it’ll show, but today I only realized there was something there because there’s a very particular smell to it, and he just smelled like it. I flipped him on his back in my lap and pushed a little on his abdomen and he didn’t like that, so that’s another sign. it’s a little weird having to massage it out, and I don’t like feeling like I’m hurting him by pulling on it (because it CAN be uncomfortable when it’s so big), but thankfully when he’s in my lap like that he can curl over and take care of it himself, once I’ve done the work to get most of it out. it’s weird and kind of gross to talk about, but this is just life. this is my pet, and everyone’s got body parts. if I were too grossed out by having to pull a rubbery plug of excretions out of an aging rat’s penis I probably shouldn’t be caring for any of them, lmao. as his owner his health is my responsibility, and that means the gross stuff too. that does make me worry though. he seems to get them every few days or so, but I don’t think charlotte or mom or mom’s boyfriend will want to clean it out for him. hmm. I’m going to have to ask again at the vet’s tomorrow. that tech who offered to watch fitzie for me never called me. 

anywho. blah blah. don’t know where I was going with this. just good to write sometimes I guess.

[fathertaurus]

Kitten ~ part 3

this isn’t absolute trash?? suddenly I can write again. I hope you guys aren’t to upset with the end 😳. enjoy!

A few weeks have passed, during this time you brought a camera and officially joined the vlog squad. Your welcoming surprised went as expected, you were absolutely terrified of the giant snake David brought in. So scared you cried for about 10 minutes and then shot him with the paintball gun. You also filmed with Carly, Erin, and Kristen a lot while the boys went and did stupid stuff. You brought them to the club you worked at, Amber Rose’s, and you introduced them to your friends and even made them honorary Amber Roses. All the girls have seen you practice and perform a dance and you even started teaching them some moves. You met Trisha and bonded over dancing which struck up a sister relationship between you two. Your YouTube channel was doing really good thanks to your friends and fans, you had more friends than you did last month and over all life was going good for you. You were practicing a little bit for tonight when your phone started going off, text messages from the group chat coming in:

Friday Oct. 12, 2018

Vlog Squad

Toddy: what’s the plan for tonight?

Carly: thought we agreed Monday, going to the club.

Corinna: I literally just told him

Zane: he just needed confirmation

Heath: trust issues

Erin: 😂😂😂

Corinna: that’s not funny cause it’s true

Dom: aye can I smoke at the club?

Kristen: no, no smoking allowed

Dom: DAMNIT

Alex: I thought you weren’t going?

Dave: yeah I thought you had a date.

Scott: Dom a date?

Jason: she’s probably 17

You: let’s not make jokes about Dom dating underage girls

Alex: oh look it’s the controversy police

Carly: you guys are on mute yet still annoy me

You: club opens at 9

Kristen: me, Carly, Erin, and Corinna are coming to yours

You: kk

Erin: okay

Toddy: wait why do they get to go to yours?

Corinna: because she likes us more and you guys would drink all her vodka

You silenced your phone and started stretching, once you were done you started doing pole warm ups. You climb the pole and slide back down, twirl and other things. You put on the song you were performing to tonight, and after about an hour of practice you heard knocking at the door. Opening it you find the girls and open the door wider for them.

“Geez dude, you’re sweaty” said Corinna walking straight for the couch.

“Yeah, just finished practicing. I’m gonna take a shower, make yourselves at home.” you quickly make your way to the bathroom and take a shower, you wash and shave everything. Once you get out you moisturize your whole body. You decide to get dressed here that way you aren’t fighting for room in the club. You wrap yourself in a robe and take all your makeup to the living room and start your makeup. You guys talk about the song you’re dancing too, what you’re wearing, about Todd and Corinna, and Scott and Kristen. When you start talking about relationships you think back on David, how you two almost kissed. You started thinking about why you were so willing to kiss this guy you barely knew, wondered what he felt about the whole thing. You quickly finished your makeup and went back to your room to get dressed, you slip on a black lace lingerie set. You throw on a random shirt and pair of shorts over it and put on your thigh high leather boots, you grab a random black fur coat from your closet and walk back out.

“Alright ladies, shots!” you shout towards the living room while making your way to the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of vodka and some shot glasses.

“I’m the D.D.” said Erin, you nod and pour shots for the rest of the girls.

“To y/n, we hope you make at least $20k tonight.” says Corrina raising her shot glass, making you laugh.

“I’ve never made even close to that much, but hey let’s hope, momma wants a new car.” you take the shot glass to your lips and toss it back and slam the glass back down pouring another one. Once you’ve all finished taking your shots you grab your duffle bag with a change of clothes and you phone and charger.

“Okay let’s go.” says Kristen heading for the door. Soon enough you’re all in Erin’s car heading to the club, singing loudly to music and posting each other on your instagram and snapchat stories. You open snaps from Zane of the boys filming and drinking and send him some back of the girls singing in the car. You arrive at the club and go straight for the locker rooms while the girls go and get a table big enough for everyone and order drinks. You make rounds giving people quick lap dances, shoving the money in your bra. You’ve been there for about 30 minutes and just finished giving a bachelor a lap dance when you see the boys walk in, Jason and Trisha trailing behind. You walk over to the table and start dancing on Trisha and she tucks a hundred dollar bill under your bra strap.

“This is such a cute outfit, oh my god!” she yells over the music and you laugh along with everyone else. You go back to dancing for other people. You have about 20 minutes before you’re supposed to perform and then give private dances and then you’re done for the night. You make your way back to the locker room to freshen up and count your money, you’re about halfway through counting when Ms. Amber walks up to you.

“Hey, we need to talk.” she says sounding serious.

“Is everything okay?” you ask, your body tenses as you sit up already thinking the worst.

“Well, there’s a guy out there? He’s offering to pay triple for all 6 slots for your private dances? It’s fine but i want to make sure he’s not some crazy stalker or anything before I agree because that’s unusual.” she says, laughing a little. You relax but then tense again wondering who the hell it could be.

“Uh, where is he?” you ask, she motions for you to follow her. You stand and walk out the locker room and peek around the corner. Standing at the end of the hall is David, you let out a huge sigh.

“You know him?” Ms. Amber ask turning towards you and you nod.

“Yeah, and I’m gonna kick his ass.” you say turning back to the locker room, “Give it to him, round it off to $6k. He can afford it.” you walk back into the locker room. You change into a different outfit, a crystal studded bra and white lacy panties and diamond covered thigh highs. You walk towards the stage and wait for your cue.

“Alright! Ladies and gentlemen, I want you to put your hands together and scream for Amber Rose’s one and only: Kitten!” the DJ shouts the the mic. The beginning of ‘Money’ by Cardi B started and you walked out towards the stage going straight to the front towards the pole.

‘Look, my bitches all bad, my ni**as all real I ride on his dick, in some big tall heels’

You wrap a hand around the pole walking in a circle and lifting up one foot. ‘Big fat checks, big large bills. Front, I’ll flip like ten cartwheels’

You lift your other foot, your back against the pole and swing your legs back and forth then drop to your knees. ‘Cold ass bitch, I give broads chills. Ten different looks and my looks all kill. I kiss him in the mouth, I feel all grills. He eat in the car, that’s meals on wheels’

You whip your head around and crawl towards the edge of the stage as the chorus starts. You sit up on your knees and run your hands up and down your body, you allow people to put money in the band of your bottoms and straps if your bra, money is being thrown through the air on the stage. You stand up and make your way to the pole, you look into the crowd noticing that the group has now moved closer to the stage, all of them have their phones or cameras out and are cheering for you. You blush deeply and smile at them, you  wrap your legs around and climbing up the pole. Once you’re halfway up you start doing flips and twirls. As the second verse ends and the chorus begins again you drop into a split on the floor, the song fades out and you stand. The crowd cheers and more money goes flying through the air. You collect the money from the stage and rush back to the locker room.

You shove all the money into your duffle bag and freshen up once again, you throw on your coat and grab your bag and go back out to find Ms. Amber.

Once you find her by the bar she hands you an envelope of money, “Room 210, good luck. Brody will be just down the hall, scream if you need him.” she says.

“I’ll be fine, I know him.” you say giving her a smile. You walk up stairs and make your way to the room, you open the envelope and count the money making sure all of it’s there. You stop right in front of the door and open it, finding David sitting by the window.

“Well, I guess you really can afford me for a whole night.” you say, walking in you close the door and drop your bag on the floor.

“You know, $1,800 times three, that doesn’t equal $6k.” he says looking up at you.

“Yep, comes out to $5,400. But since you can afford me- 'every night for a year’ was it? I figured you wouldn’t miss a few hundred.” you say walking closer to him.

“I won’t, but I don’t appreciate it.” he say, he sits up straighter in his seat, his hands reach out and grab your coat pulling you closer to him. You follow his pull and he slides his hands from your coat to your hips and guides you to straddle him. You wrap your arms around his neck, hands going to play in the back of his hair.

“Want me to make up for it?” you whisper, leaning forward. He leans forward to, your lips barely touching.

“Mhm, and I think I know how.” he mumbles, he presses your lips together in a soft kiss, but the softness doesn’t last long. It quickly turns desperate, teeth clashing and tongues fighting for dominance. One of his hands leaves your hip and wraps in your hair pulling back, he kisses down your neck biting and making you gasp out.

“Let me dance for you.” you whimper. You’ve thought about putting on a show just for David ever since that day, you wanted to show him what you could do.

He hums, still kissing your neck. “I have a better idea.” he pulls away and stands up, your legs wrapping around his waist. “I’m gonna keep kissing you, because you taste fucking amazing, and then I’ll leave, back to our friends. You wait here until the 30 minutes are up and then I’ll get my money’s worth back at my house. Sound good?” he presses your back against the wall and starts kissing your jaw.

“Wh-what about everyone else?” you moan out, hands coming back into his hair and tugging.

“Mm, they’re still partying, I have to edit and you’re tired so I’ll take you home. Natalie’s at a friend’s tonight so we’ll have the whole place to ourselves.” he mumbles against your jaw.

“O-okay.” With that, he smashes your lips together once more, his tongue slides past and imediately takes control. You start grinding against him trying to get some relief. He growls against your lips and presses into. He quickly pulls away and drops your legs, helping you stand on your feet, his hands come up and cup your cheeks and he presses soft kisses to your lips.

“I’ll see you in ten minutes.” he says with one last kiss, he walks to the door and leaves. You stand there, collect yourself and thinking about what just happened. 'Am I really going to go to David’s and dance for him? Did we really make out right now? This is really happening!?’ you think.

You eventually calm down and fix yourself up, you rub lipgloss on your lips so no one would notice that they’re red and fix your hair and clothes. You grab your bag and make your way down back to the main floor, you navigate your way to your friends table. Once they see you they start cheering and you can’t help but let a smile break across your face, but remember to play like you’re tired.

“Look at our little Kitten!” shouts Heath.

“You looked so fucking good up there baby!” Zane yells right after. Soon everyone is yelling over each other, giving you praises.

“How much did you make?” asks Trisha, you shrug your shoulders.

“I haven’t counted everything, but at least $5k.” you say, your eyes shoot to David’s and he bites his lip.

“Jesus I make that in a week.” says Alex, making everyone laugh. You lay your head on Trisha’s shoulder.

“Tired?” says Kristen and you nod your head.

“We can go?” offers Erin, but David jumps in.

“I can take her. You guys are enjoying yourselves and I need to edit anyways.” he says, waving around his camera. Erin nods and turns back to Carly.

“Take care of my baby!” shouts Zane.

“Yeah, if she’s not home safe, I’m gonna make sure you don’t have kids.” adds in Kristen, making the group break out in laughter once again and David roll his eyes. You both say goodbye to everyone and rush out the club to David’s car. Once at the car he presses you against your door and kisses you, you moan and grind against him, hands curling in his hair. He pulls away and leaves wet kisses down your neck.

“You gonna be good for me tonight?” he asks in between kisses.

“Yes..” you whisper.

“Yes what?” he asks, lips stopping and hands gripping your hips.

“Yes daddy.” you whine, he groans and goes back to your lips, kissing you hard.

“Good girl. Get in the car.” he pulls away and opens the door, ushering you inside. He goes to his side of the car and gets in and turns to you, “Are you sure about this?”

“David.” you say, and he looks at you waiting for you to continue. You reach your hand up to his cheek and pull him down to give him one more kiss. “Drive.”

He nods his head and starts the car, pulling out of his parking space and speeding to his house.

[f-l-writes]

Tricksters

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 2.4K

For: @sxngminhx / @taeyoapple

A/N: NOT from the Spooktober list!

Hope you enjoy and feel free to request! (Spooktober Writing List) (Ask Box)

Buy Me a Coffee

You’d known Dong Hyuk since middle school. He was always a bright and upbeat kid and he rarely let anything bring him down. He was sweet even he should have been annoyed or angry and he didn’t let much get to him. He was almost a pushover, but he knew how to get back at people when they used him. He was clever, smart, and beautiful.

You had gotten to be friends with him through your close friend Je No and the two of you had been able to quickly hit it off. You had become inseparable in a short month and from then on, remained by one another’s side throughout the ups and the downs. Dong Hyuk had been there for you through your first relationship and break up and you had been there through his. He had been there for you when you had gotten stood up on a date and you had been there for him when the girl he had been crushing on for years had rejected him.

It had quickly come to a point where neither of you knew what it would be like to live without one another anymore. By the time you were both seventeen, you had managed to accumulate enough money to buy a flat that was relatively close to both school and work as well as your families. That had been a wonderful year. Until it wasn’t.

Closer to your eighteenth birthday, you had noticed Dong Hyuk becoming more and more distant with you. Where you had both previously gone to the arcade on your days off from work and used the DDR machine and you always bested him at Skee Ball, you now found yourself going alone and playing while Dong Hyuk either stayed at home or went out with friends. You figured it was just him needing some time to himself. After all, living with someone created the need for privacy and time away from the person so you didn’t get sick of them.

However, it wasn’t supposed to last seven months. Wasn’t supposed to cause him to snap at you whenever you tried to talk to him about it. It wasn’t supposed to make him push you away even more when you tried to be civil and figure out what was wrong.

Now, you were getting tired of it. You were sick of him being so distant and never telling you anything. It was like you were living with a stranger with how little he spoke to you outside of the occasional “good morning” or “see you later.” It was infuriating and you planned on making him talk, no matter how much of a fight he put up.

Unfortunately, your plan would have to wait. He had work while you had a day off and school was currently on break. You had nothing to do except plan out just how you were going to make Dong Hyuk talk. Deciding to call up your good friend Je No, you held to your phone to your ear and paced while the rings entered their third and final round. Just before it sent you to voicemail, Je No picked up, clearly out of breath.

“Sorry for taking so long to answer, I’m at the gym right now. What’s up?” you wanted to make a joking remark but you could hear the clatter of equipment in the background that backed his claim and decided to keep your mouth shut, instead opting to answer your friend.

“Two things. First, do you know what’s been going on with Dong Hyuk lately? Second, if not, can you help me find out later today? You’re a lot more subtle than pinning him down until he talks.”

Je No’s laughter blessed your ears before the sound of equipment became more apparent as his voice became more distant, the man more than likely wiping the sweat off of his face, before it came back in full and you were left with his response.

“I’ll be over in like twenty minutes to help you out. And you’ll just have to wait and see what his problem is. I can’t go around spilling secrets like that,” Je No teased, hanging up before you could say anything else to him.

“I hate you, Lee Je No,” you mumbled into the quiet living space before plopping down on the couch that had taken you and Dong Hyuk at least two months to get after moving in because you had been too picky with couches and had gotten a relatively expensive one.

After a bit, you found yourself dozing off, barely focused as the real world faded away from you. That is, until there was a heavy pounding at the front door and Je No’s voice echoing clearly through the flat. Standing from your spot, you trudged over to the door and pulled it open before the white haired man pulled you further into your flat, a dorky grin on his face before he sat you down.

“Okay, so the plan to get Dong Hyuk to talk to you is to make him angry. If he’s angry, he’ll snap and he’ll tell you what’s going on in that cute little head of his,” Je No explained.

“How do we manage that, then?” you questioned, tilting your head to the side slightly as curiosity filled your eyes, observing the male as his lips curled into a smile.

“So, Dong Hyuk’s been hiding a little secret from you about you. He isn’t necessarily fond of you hanging out with other guys and even less so if they’re really close to you, have their hands on you, etc. So, when he gets home from work in… three-ish hours? He’ll have to be faced with an overly cuddly me and you, even if you’re not too big on that stuff. He will flip. You can get your answer out of him that way.”

“You’re evil, Je No. I love it,” you snickered, leaning back on the couch. “He gets out at about five today, so we have a couple of hours to kill if you want to head out and do something,” you suggested.

You watched a light go off in Je No’s head as he leaned in closer, a smile on his face and a mischievous glint in his eyes. You could already see the path his mind was taking before he started speaking, his mind running a thousands miles a minute. You could practically see the gears turning in his head, forming words before he even so much as opened his mouth.

“This could be an add-on to our plan. We make it seem to him like we’re out on a date, he gets angry, spills the tea as soon as we step in the door.”

“I love your ideas, Je No. Why don’t we get going, then?” you smirked, standing.

Catching Je No’s judging look, you looked down at what you were wearing before rolling your eyes at him. “Fine, I’ll go get changed, jerk. No need to judge.”

“There is a need to judge. Who the hell goes on a date in Ryan printed pajama pants and a gray tank with a flamingo on the pocket?”

“Shut up, Je No! Learn to live!” you shouted at him as you had made your way down the hall that led into your room so you could changed.

When you finally stepped out, Je No gave a low, playful whistle as he looked you over. You had on a red and white striped tee shirt on that hugged your figure nicely along with a pair of skinny jeans that stopped just at your ankles. As you wandered over to the door, you slid on black converse and completed the look with a maroon leather jacket.

“He’s gonna be pissed. Especially with you looking that damn good,” Je No chuckled, causing you to roll your eyes.

“Let’s go, Je No. We’ve got two and a half hours to rile him up at work,” you joked, opening the door and gesturing for the white haired male to go before you. “And if it weren’t for how close we are, I would say you’re doing this just take me on a date,” you teased, watching as he rolled his eyes.

“You wish. I’m amazed you’re not crawling all over me as is,” he joshed back.

“With you smelling like sweat and gym equipment? Please, you’d be better suited for a female bodybuilder,” you nudged him, watching as he once more rolled his eyes, the smirk on his face giving away the amusement to the annoyance he was trying to show.

From the flat, the two of you walked out to Je No’s car and the game to piss off Dong Hyuk began. On almost every social media you were active on and Dong Hyuk had your notifications on for, you posted various pictures of Je No. Most were fairly candid: him laughing at a joke, getting angry at a driver in front of you but still managing to look hot as hell, that eye smile that so often showed up, etc.

You knew Dong Hyuk was seeing most of them, solely based on you checking your story on Snapchat or Instagram. You couldn’t help the smirk that lit up your features as you saw him looking at the social medias while at work and, undoubtedly, his anger and annoyance levels slowly going up. You were hoping that he wouldn’t be so angry as to the fact that he wouldn’t talk to you when he got home, but you wanted him to be angry enough where he snapped and spilled everything. You needed to know why he was avoiding you and this was the only option you currently had to figure it out.

When you arrived at the arcade, that’s when the fun videos and photos really began. You recorded Je No Skee Balling and using the DDR machine and he recorded you playing those stupid shooting games and playing basketball. The captions were like cutesy, cupcake phase relationship captions and, in turn, it got you and him both a lot of questions from mutual friends.

By the time five o’clock was rolling around, you and Je No were finally making your way out, heading back to the car before arriving back at the flat with ten minutes to spare before Dong Hyuk got home. Once inside, the two of you settled on the couch, chilling beside one another. You hadn’t planned on putting your head on his shoulder, but you felt so unusually tired that you didn’t really bother stopping yourself from doing it.

You remained like that for a few minutes until the door was roughly pushed open and slammed shut, the visibly angry boy marching into view, his eyes narrowed at Je No and almost completely ghosting you over.

“What the hell was all that bullshit today, man?” Dong Hyuk shouted, the veins in his neck slowly becoming more visible as well as the ones in his hands as he clenched and unclenched his fists.

“What?” Je No began, a lazy smirk crawling over his face as his hand clutched your upper arm. “Do you mean my date with Y/N?”

An almost animalistic noise came from Dong Hyuk at that moment. “You know damn well what I mean, Lee Je No! What the fuck is your deal? Can I not tell you a damn thing anymore?”

“Look, man, you shouldn’t have pushed them away. It’s not my fault they came to me first.”

Now, Dong Hyuk’s eyes were on you, darkened with rage and frustration. “Why the fuck would you bother with this sick piece of shit?”

“He’s my friend, Dong Hyuk. Don’t call him that.” you were trying so hard to keep your voice level as you spoke to him, surprised at the annoyance that was quickly building in your chest as he spoke so negatively of his friend like that.

“Well, then tell me why you decided to go on a date with him. You know how much a fuckboy he is. Can’t stick to one person,” Dong Hyuk spat back, his eyes narrowed. “Did you really think you would get anywhere good with him? Or were you just looking for a quick thing?”

“What I’m looking for,” you retorted, “is you to tell me what the fuck has been going on with you lately. You’ve been avoiding me for months on end and I don’t understand why.” you continued to bite back on the rage that brewed in your stomach, not wanting to push him so far over the edge with your own anger that he never answered back.

“Take a wild fucking guess, Y/N! I love you but you’ve been to damn blind too see it and now you’re fucking around with some guy who doesn’t even know how to treat a person right?”

You were taken by surprise. You didn’t expect it to come so easily from him but at the same time you weren’t expecting it to take so long either. While you angry about how he was talking about Je No, the boy seemingly unaffected no matter what, you were at a loss of words.

“What do you mean you love me?” your voice suddenly dropped and Dong Hyuk realized what he said, his face turning a bright red as he looked away.

“Nothing. Forget I said anything,” he mumbled, moving to walk away before you reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him back.

“Tell me what you meant.”

Now, Je No cut in, stopping Dong Hyuk from answering immediately. “I think my job here is done, Y/N. I’ll see you two lovebirds on the flipside.” he winked as he walked out, leaving you and Dong Hyuk alone in the flat.

“I mean what I said. I fell in love with my best friend and I was pushing you away in hopes of getting rid of the feeling,” he mumbled, his eyes refusing to meet yours.

“You’re such a cliche bastard,” you laughed, pulling the man into a hug, the previous anger disintegrating. “It’s like reading one of those idol x reader stories on Tumblr,” you joked, pulling back as you looked at him.

“That being said,” you continued on, “I love you too. Is there anyway we can make up for the lost time?” you questioned.

“Well, I know we both have off tomorrow so… why don’t we head to the arcade, I show you a better time than Je No, we come home and watch a few movies?”

“Sounds good with me. Glad to have you back… and to have you be mine now, right?”

“Correct,” he responded with a smile, causing your heart to flutter. “I’m yours and you’re mine.”