babydollbluexoxo

[babydollbluexoxo]

As I grow older and realize what it means to be a woman, I've begun to mourn the possibility of a "traditional" life. I mourn the fact that I will never be able to create a child with someone Im in love with, because, no matter how hard I've tried, I cannot love a man. I mourn the fact that I cannot give a woman a child, not in the way I want. And I've grown and accepted this fact and for the most part I've loved being a lesbian. But as I grow older and realize how important family is, how sacred and beautiful childbirth is, and what it truly means to *create* a child with someone you love, I want to scream at the universe at how unfair it is that I'll never be able to experience that. And logically I know that families can be created in many different and beautiful ways. I'm old enough to begin to understand the beauty of a family, but too young to truly understand the multiple ways one can be created. Perhaps I can't understand simply because I've never seen any other way in my immediate life. I hate how so many women feel their worth is equated to their ability to give birth, and I hate how I've fallen victim to it - is this just universal womanhood?