#the ogre thing keeps one shot killing my ass

[rhysnolastname]

The little circus like music playing in DA:O while my entire party takes critical hit after critical hit and gets completely obliterated in less than 2 minutes 😭😭😭😭😭

[wlw-lovestruck-fiction]

MC comforting Vinca while she is crying

Pairing with: Can we write mc getting terribly injured and almost dying for vinca? and then emotional vinca❤️

Warning: Mentions of blood.

...

Part 1

Written by @cute-ogre

A warm hand squeezes hers and let it go.

Nico breathes in heavily, inhaling the cold air, the familiar smell of antiseptic, bleach and pine telling her immediately exactly where she was.

The bleary vision soon became more focused and she was able to see the nurse standing by her bedside, checking her vitals and taking fast notes. He smiled when he noticed his patient was awake, making a nervous one-sided chat while waiting for the doctor responsible for her, a cautious looking woman that calmly explained her general state and left her alone after a long check up, noticing her tired state.

She closes her eyes, sighing, exhausted. Her body was weirdly numb and she couldn't quite move yet. Her thoughts  were difficult to grasp, like they were floating in a tick fog, bouncing slowly back into her mind one by one.

Her house was broken in, she was alone. There were shouts, hers, and growls from the way-smarter-than-it- should-be demon.

(Because, yeah, those exist.)

Cold hands trying to get the locket out of hers. The small locket with, apparently, Vinca's soul in it. Vinca couldn't read her mind and apparently that means creepy, stabby demon time.

Light catching in the metal as a pocket knife was pulled, made a shallow, bloody cut in the left side of her head and then sunk into her abdomen.

A piercing scream as she killed it, a mysterious light shooting from her wound like lightning, disintegrating the demon on the spot. The demon needed her blood for something, she thinks, but couldn't remember why or what.

Bloodied hands trying to make a call with no success.

Bandaging the wound with shaky hands, trying to keep the knife firmly in place.

A seven-minutes-long, careful, anxious walk until Vinca's house. Her hands pressing the wound, trying to keep the knife there without damaging her body even more.

Constantly analyzing her own state while looking for new attackers in the dark streets.

(The injury... below the belly button, lateral, probably non-lethal if treated soon by the looks of it. Elevated breath and heart rate with dizziness, so moderate blood loss, maybe?)

Knocking on the taller woman's door frantically, a door opening, wide blue eyes staring at her in shock.

And then everything was blurry.

The sound of the door opening brought Nico's attention back to the present.

"I can't believe she was stabbed! She will have such a cool scar!"

Trudy's voice rings loud and excited, and Vinca's answer is barely a hiss.

"If you don't shut up and back off, I will make sure you'll get one too."

"Really? That would be so badass!"

There's some commotion, a yelp accompanied by hushed whispered yell and then silence.

Someone clears their throat.

"We will go get some clean clothes for her, Laz is already there taking care of her mom. We'll be back soon." Yvette's voice sounds gentle and low, and was received with a low grunt of agreement and a closed door.

Nico's eyes open again, vision bleary for a second before being filled with the familiar big, crazed,blue eyes and messy blonde hair. The Pride assassin's face close enough that she was able to see the small freckles that adorned her -weirdly- make-up free face.

"H-Hi?"

Vinca just stares intensely at her in silence for a awkwardly long time before smirking, poking the small women's cheek.

"Well, well, well. Look who finally decided to wake up! Feeling better, Julius Caesar?"

The dark haired girl blinks, nodding distractedly, her eyes scanning the white hospital room. When she speaks, her voice sounds hoarse and weak.

"Thank you for bringing me here, and I'm sorry, I probably spilled blood all over your nice car."

Vinca's smile appears to waver for a second before she let out a snort, straightening up. "Yeah, your stabbed ass made quite a mess, had to drag you out of the car like a dead corpse. Hope you know that you will be the one cleaning it."

"Hey! It's not my fault I was stabbed!"

"Yes it is, you are the easiest target I have ever seen, you look like the type of person that tries to hold on to the water when you slip on the shower." The blonde shots her a teasing look, seeing the small woman roll her eyes in annoyance, a weak smile on her lips.

"Oh, you can kiss my ass!"

"What ass? You have none, you are flat like the surface of the earth."

She is using humor to cope, like she always does when she feels strong emotions.

Brown eyes stare at Vinca, seeing the model stands up with a tense posture and walk to a table with a jar of water nearby.

"Please tell me you are joking and don't, in fact, believe that the earth is flat."

Like the unbearable brat she is, the blonde woman just shrugs, smirking a little bit before resuming her task, and Nico notices the slight shake of her hands as she pours the water in a plastic cup.

"It may be."

"The- the earth isn't flat."

Nodding slowly, she sits on the bed again, blue eyes twinkling and a soft smile on her lips.

"I know, and neither are you, hotshot." She winks, offering the cup of water, earning a laugh from the bike mechanic. "You should drink it, you lost a disgusting amount of blood."

Nico sighs, before slowly trying to seat up with the taller woman's help.

"Did I pass out? I don't remember anything after knocking on your door."

Smile gone, the tallest Wren sister shakes her head seriously.

"You didn't, but you were definitely confused."

"Oh."

There is a heavy pause with Vinca opening and closing her mouth before clenching her jaw and letting out a  annoyed huff.

"I was really... " She waves her hand in the air and grimaces, like the next words are causing her physical pain "...worried about you, I think."

"Aww, you think?"

It takes all of her strength of will, but Nico manages to hold back a smug smirk, looking up to see the blonde scratch uncomfortably one of  her slightly reddened cheeks.

"I thought you hated me when we first met. Look at us now, progress!"

She bites her lip, holding back a smile, gives the Chinese woman a side-eyed look and sniffs.

"I did. But eh, you grew on me, like a fungus."

I care a lot about you too

Humming, the bike mechanic takes a sip of water, furrowing her brow when she notice the way the mind-reader keeps looking fixedly at her own hands, opening and closing them repeatedly.

"...Vinca? Are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine."

The huge bags under her eyes doesn't exactly scream "fine" to Nico, but she decides to finish her water before asking again.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm peachy, why wouldn't I be?" She snatches the empty cup of water, throwing it into the garbage can without even looking at it.

"It's... It's about the locket? Something happened to it?"

"The locket it's fine." The answer is suddenly tense and Nico looks at her dubiously.

"Are you sure? It seemed impor-"

"Yes, I'm sure. I don't care about the fucking locket."

She grits, crossing her arms in annoyance, voice sounding snappy, but she doesn't meet her eyes when she keeps talking.

"And you are a moron. I can't believe you got yourself stabbed for that stupid thing."

The Chinese woman lets out a incredulous laugh, ignoring the way her head hurt a little when she did.

"A locked with you soul in it,detail you forgot to mention by the way! And you told me to take care of it!"

"I said 'Take care of it', not 'get killed protecting it' you dumbass!"

"Yeah, but I didn't die."

"You almost did!" There's a second of silence after the explosion, and when Vinca lifts her eyes they are shining with unshed tears and more vulnerable than Nico has ever seen them.

"It- it was so much blood and I thought that- I thought that you... and for a stupid locket!" Her breath is uneven, her hands moving in the air, wildly, and her eyes start darting to everything in the room besides the injured woman. "I don't care about my fucking soul! I could kick some old demon ass until they turned ash and get the locket back if it was stolen, but what would I do if I lost you?"

"Vinca..."

The dark haired woman stares at her in stunned silence, her body moving forward instinctively to touch her arm when she is hit by a sharp stab of pain, wincing.

The blonde rushes forward grabbing her shoulders and looking at her with wild eyes. A gentle pressure forcing the small woman to sit back.

"Don't worry, I'm fine."

"No. You are hurt."

It's a statement, a statement said with so much anguish that Nico doesn't even know what to do with it.

Long fingers touch delicately the bandage in her head and the sad blue eyes meet hers before learning in to press a soft kiss to her covered forehead earning a perplexed wide eyed stare.

"I'm sorry, you got hurt and I wasn't there to protect your nerd ass."

"Hey..."

The smaller woman mutters, hands cupping Vinca's face, wiping a tear and starting a gentle caress, drawing a shiver out of the woman.

"I'm fine, you are here right now to deck any demon for me, aren't you?"

Vinca smiles weakly and sniffs. "Bitch, you can bet I'm."

"Good. Now come here."

She moves carefully to the side, making a bigger space in the bed. To her surprise the taller woman immediately moves to sit by her side, hiding her face in her neck, inhaling the smell of strawberry shampoo coming from the soft  dark hair and muttering:

"....about the locket."

"What?"

Nico feels a warm tear hit her skin.

"I said I'm-"

She huffs annoyed, grabbing a fistful of the brunette hospital gown.

"I'm sorry about the locket. I gave it to you because I thought that you deserved some part of me that wasn't tainted."

Nico forces herself to be silent, unsure of how to answer and her hands lift to caress soft wild hair earning a sigh from the blonde.

I will talk to her about it later

"I shouldn't have- I put you in danger and I'm sorry."

"It's fine, I'm fine. Let's just... forget about it for a while hm?  But be aware that you will explain how did your soul ended up in a locked in details after I'm out of this hospital."

Nico jabs a accusatory finger, poking at the pride assassin's ribs.

"Whatever you say, girl boss."

Vinca chuckles, nodding and slowly raising her head and looking at the smaller woman with something in her eyes that the bike mechanic couldn't quite place.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

She hesitates for a moment, calculating, before speaking quietly.

"I... I'm just so glad that you are okay."

And something about the way blue eyes never leave brown tells Nico that that's not really what she was going to say at all.

"Me too."

Nico nods, smiling softly at her and seeing the Pride assassin blush and narrow her eyes.

"But if you tell anyone that I cried I'm gonna kick your tiny ass so hard that  you're gonna fly off the planet earth and become a satellite, are we clear?"

"Would you really hurt an injured woman?"

The brown haired girl clutches her chest dramatically, earning a cheeky grin from the blond.

"Have you met me?"

"... Fair point."

[misssophiachase]

You Make My Heart Smile

So, happy (belated) birthday, Tina @tnapki Your edits make me smile (pardon the pun) and I wanted to thank you for that and everything you bring to the fandom.

I based it on your GORGEOUS EDIT

I also made it about food cause it’s SO you. On AO3 HERE

Also thanks to the gorgeous Kait @an-awesome-wavve for being amazing and my part brainstorm, part beta, part researcher and part undercover partner in crime. 

Renowned Chef Klaus Mikaelson has a bad reputation until he meets food blogger Caroline Forbes and has no idea how to handle her or the unfamiliar feelings she evokes, especially that annoying ability to make him smile. 

3 May - Alinea - 1723 N. Halsted St, Chicago IL - 3pm

“I’m not going to do some stupid interview, you know I have other, more important things to do, right?”

Klaus Mikaelson didn’t do interviews. He didn’t need to because his accomplishments spoke for themselves. He hadn’t slogged away in kitchens since he was twelve and worked his way through culinary school and some of the best restaurants to waste his time. 

Being a world-renowned chef owning not one, but four, three-Michelin-starred restaurants across the globe meant he could do whatever the hell he wanted. 

But yet here she was running his life. 

Still. 

“Like yell at me? I mean, you’ve been doing that since we were little so I guess it’s nothing I haven’t experienced before. ”

“I knew I should have never mixed business and family,” he snapped. “You always throw our childhood back in my face as an excuse to insult my life choices.”

“Because it’s too easy not to,” she pouted, flicking a stray, blonde lock over her shoulder.  “And, while I am unfortunately related to your sorry ass, I am also your publicist and this interview is good for your career.”

“I don’t need publicity.”

“Correction, you do need publicity,” she argued, her fork now attacking the very veal he’d cooked with more fervour than needed. 

“Easy on the product, little sister,” Klaus growled, his protectiveness for his art on full display. 

“Oh, silly me I thought it was already dead,” she shot back, tartly. “And before you interrupted, I was going to say that, yes maybe you shouldn’t need publicity given your career achievements, but that was before you dropped an entree on the food critic’s lap from the Chicago Tribune, fired your sous chef in front of the entire restaurant and insulted Gordon Ramsey on national television.”

“Ramsey is a sell out, I stand by my comments,” he muttered. “The critic had it coming and, now you mention it, so too did that sorry excuse for a sous chef.”

“You realise people call you the angry chef, right?”

“Better than the naked chef I suppose.” He shrugged his shoulders indifferently. Klaus wasn’t in the business for gimmicks or to secure his own cooking program. He took his food seriously and there was nothing wrong with that. 

“At least people like Jamie Oliver,” she replied, arching her eyebrows knowingly. “Anyway, there’s no point in arguing because she’ll be here in five minutes.”

“Please tell me you didn’t just schedule an interview without my permission?”

1717 N. Halsted St, 3:10pm

“What’s with the expression of impending doom, Care Bear?” He asked, lugging his camera equipment as they walked up the block toward Alinea. 

“What have I told you about calling me that?”

“Not to do it but it’s too fun not to, Care Bear.” Given his general maturity level, Caroline decided it was a losing battle and she had more important things on her mind. 

“Anyway, it’s not doom,” she muttered. “It’s just the overwhelming desire not to do this interview but given I don’t want to get fired and also pay my rent, there’s no other option.”

“Is someone afraid of the angry chef?”

“Oh, puh-lease, I’m not afraid. Although, I might not be able to bite my tongue if he decides to insult me like he did Gordon Ramsey.”

Caroline wasn’t one to judge but his indiscretions were well-known and well-documented. Although, chefs with egos weren’t an entirely new phenomenon to the industry or to Caroline given interviewing them was her job.

“You and I both know Ramsey deserved that dressing down, if anything Mikaelson earned my respect that day.” Caroline couldn’t argue with that. 

Although this one was another kind of beast. 

The effortlessly attractive kind. 

For Caroline, this was an unsettling prospect. Until she reminded herself why she was here in the first place. 

Caroline loved food. Sometimes, she thought, more than life itself. 

So, when she became a food blogger after graduating with a journalism degree from Northwestern, it wasn’t a surprise. She was currently the senior blogger at popular food blog Delicious. 

“You love food and writing about it,” Was Enzo reading her mind? “How about instead of focusing on the negative, remember that this will be your biggest interview yet. Think about all of the exposure this will garner.”

The upper echelons of Delicious had decided that an interview with Klaus Mikaelson would be a big scoop. Caroline was all for interviewing chefs about their food and the passion behind it but she knew her editor wanted something less about his craft and more about his bad boy reputation.  

“Yes, but I want to write about food, not produce tabloid fodder.”

“Just think, once you do this then maybe you’ll have enough of a following to start your own blog and write what you want and not what someone tells you to do.”

“Mmmm, you do have a point.”

“Of course I do because Enzo knows everything. Also, take me with you because you’d be lost without me, sweetcheeks.”

“Third person, huh? That ego of yours knows no bounds, Lorenzo.”

“You know it, Care Bear,” he joked, flashing his most dazzling smile. “Well, looks like we’re here.”

“Looks like it,” she murmured, noting the intimidating sign overhead and wondering what she’d gotten herself into. “Here goes nothing.”

3:15pm

“Caroline Forbes?” 

“You must be Rebekah and this is my photographer Lorenzo St John.”

Klaus, who’d been throwing a temper tantrum not one minute ago, found himself looking up into the blue eyes of one Caroline Forbes. Suddenly, all of the white noise of the moment fell away and it was just the two of them in the room together and the blonde in question was looking at him expectantly. 

It was paralysing. 

But good paralysing he decided. 

“Nik?” Rebekah questioned. Now they were both looking at him. Had he zoned out and not realised it?  Well, if so, this was all kinds of embarrassing. “Caroline is the senior blogger for Delicious and she’s here for that interview, you know the one we talked about earlier?”

Yeah, ten minutes earlier, he thought to himself doing everything he could not to bite back in front of the new arrival.   

“It’s nice to meet you Mr Mikaelson, I have to say I’m a big fan of your…”  

“Look, it’s not going to be possible, I have to prep for dinner service,” he lied, although regretted it immediately when he noticed her expression. Klaus wasn’t used to being nice, it wasn’t in his DNA and usually it didn’t bother him. 

Until now. 

Klaus decided to blame it on the foreign feelings she was causing. As soon as he got some distance between them it would be fine, especially that vanilla scent he couldn’t ignore given it was infiltrating his first line of defence.

Klaus liked women, in fact he slept with many when his busy schedule permitted, but that was sex and nothing else. Just the way he liked it, easy and unemotional. 

“Why don’t we multitask then? I’m happy to help. ” Her voice was light and melodic. Klaus was hoping it wasn’t going to sound so enticing. He also wasn’t expecting that response. “I worked in a restaurant kitchen for years, I can do dishes, polish cutlery and peel a mean potato and an onion, well almost without crying.”

Why was he buoyed by that ridiculous statement and increasingly trying not to flash her a goofy smile? 

Klaus didn’t smile. He just didn’t. Ever. 

This wasn’t how he saw his day going at all. He was going to kill Rebekah. Before he could reply, the current subject of his ire spoke. 

“That sounds like a fantastic idea,” she grinned. “How about Lorenzo and I make ourselves scarce then?” 

“It’s actually Enzo, darling, you sound a bit too much like my mother and my oppressive boss Care Bear here.” 

Klaus hadn’t even realised there was someone else in the room up until this point but it was clear Caroline wasn’t too impressed by his nickname or the oppressive part. Maybe they had more in common than he thought? 

Care Bear.  Klaus thought it was adorable. Then he could feel it, that idiotic urge to smile again. 

Before he could object again, Rebekah had made a quick exit with the photographer and she was just standing there. Klaus could feel the awkward tension between them and knowing he’d caused it wasn’t helping matters. But he didn’t know any other way to act. 

Then the words he’d struggled with just tumbled out. 

“How do you feel about fish?”

Not the most suave topic or question but this was his ‘uncomfort’ zone. 

“Depends on the context.”

“The context?”

“I mean, if you think I can clean, fillet and debone a fish, you’ve obviously overestimated my cooking talents.”

Klaus had to practically eat the smile that was threatening to appear.  Again. 

“Everyone has to start somewhere and get their hands a bit dirty, otherwise what’s the point?” He advised. “But, if you don’t want to then…”

“Oh, I never back away from a challenge, chef,” she promised. 

Again, the pesky smile was hovering just beneath the surface. 

Leading her towards the kitchen, Klaus told himself that preparing a fish was definitely going to keep his emotions at bay and also block out that perfume which was throwing him off balance. 

4:45pm

“Why do I feel like this was a ploy to distract me from my interview?” Caroline asked, dipping the fish into egg wash and then flour as instructed by her cooking mentor for the day.. 

This was not how she saw her day going. It was surreal to say the least. This guy was supposed to be an ogre but Caroline was realising he was something else entirely. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he shot back. “But you filleted that fish like a professional, maybe you’ve missed your true calling?”

“I suppose I had a semi-good teacher,” she admitted wryly. 

“Wow, tell me what you really think, Forbes.”

Caroline was trying not to to get too caught up in the moment but Klaus Mikaelson had challenged every judgment she’d ever harboured about the temperamental chef.  He’d been unusually kind and patient.

The one thing she’d noticed was that his overall demeanour didn’t match his expression. 

He didn’t smile.

Not once. 

A few times, Caroline could swear it was close or maybe she was just imagining it?

“So, why do you like food?” It was a question she wasn’t expecting. Especially seeing as she was the interviewer and him her subject. 

“Isn’t that what I’m supposed to be asking you?” He was silent for a moment, almost like he was contemplating it. “But I get the impression you don’t like that question much?”

“I’d much prefer to hear your story first, call it a warm-up.” Clearly he was nervous and Caroline was happy to oblige if it helped. 

“My grandmother,” she smiled knowingly, visions of her nana filling her head. “When I was younger I’d go to her house most weekends and we’d cook together. She could make anything and everything. She died last year and it’s been tough without her but at least I still have those memories.”

Caroline didn’t mean to get personal, especially with the so-called “angry chef” but for some reason she felt nothing but comfort in his presence, even if he didn’t smile. 

“What was her specialty?” 

“Banana cream cheesecake,” she smiled, the taste of it rushing back in all its delicious glory. 

“Hard to beat,” he murmured. “Have you ever eaten a Bananas Foster? My restaurant in New Orleans does a modern version over flame.  According to my maitre’d there’ve apparently been a few proposals over dessert.”

“Over your dessert?”

“Someone sounds dubious. Let’s just say it’s fireworks but without the danger. Well, unless the tablecloth is accidentally set on fire but the fire department down there are pretty good first responders I understand.”

“I just didn’t take you for the romantic dessert type.”

“I suppose there’s a lot of things you don’t know about me then.”

“So, why do you like food then?”

“Well, of course I like food, I wouldn’t be a chef otherwise,” he shared, moving swiftly in behind her and taking the fillets from her hand and placing them in the hot pan, Caroline was trying not to react to his touch or that welcoming and heady mixture of sandalwood, spices and soap . “But one interview isn’t going to even begin to answer that question.” 

He had a point and Caroline knew it. How could you sum up what food meant to you in one interview?  

“So, what exactly are you trying to say? I do have a deadline to meet.”

“How about we schedule a follow-up interview tomorrow morning? Dinner service is imminent and if you stay I’m going to have to ask you to do more than fillet a fish. My pastry chef Lucien is also very needy, requires constant gratification, and you don’t want to be on the receiving end of that.”

“Not gonna lie I’m intrigued and by that I’m talking about Lucien. Did you insult his choux pastry or something?”

 “Not if I want my patrons to eat dessert this century. But, if you insist on staying, there’s a whole pile of onions there with your name on it and we can call it even.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” He raised his left eyebrow by way of response. Caroline was trying to ignore just how good he looked, even if there was no smile forthcoming. 

“Fine,” she conceded. “Tomorrow morning but that’s it otherwise my editor might fire me.”

“Great, let’s make it 10:30, you can poach an egg, right? And I also expect extra crispy bacon.”

Caroline knew she was possibly in trouble and not because he was tasking her with cooking. Enzo would also parrot that particular concern but she couldn’t help herself. 

Today was probably the best day she’d had in a long time and she didn’t want it to end. She told herself that she’d return tomorrow and get her interview, that’s all she wanted from him, right?

4 May - Alinea - 1723 N. Halsted St, Chicago IL - 11am

Klaus Mikaelson was in uncharted territory. 

That’s what scared him the most. 

Caroline Forbes was seated across from him at his best, window table in jeans and a cream sweater, her plate empty and a very full but satisfied look on her face. Klaus decided to add that to his favourite expressions file. It was fast filling up and he’d only known her for 20 hours. 

He wasn’t this guy. 

At all. 

But she’d consumed his thoughts since their first meeting and all night through dinner service and beyond. He’d barely slept, but it wasn’t a bad thing. He’d been looking forward to seeing her as soon as she left. 

The only problem? Not smiling because it was that difficult when she was in his presence. He had his reasons of course. 

“So, why do you love food? And no arguments given I poached a mean egg and also let you have a reprieve yesterday.”

“The bacon could use some work, just saying.”

“Well, you’re more than welcome to cook itself yourself, Mikaelson. Are you always such a critic? Last time I checked that was my job. Also enough with the distractions. So?”

“My mum,” he admitted quietly, even if it took a minute or so to verbalise. For some reason her opening up about her grandmother had filled him with courage. He didn’t do feelings or talk about them for that matter. “She cooked with me practically from birth until she got too sick last year.” 

Those last words wobbled, it was unfortunate as it was expected. He’d struggled for a long time and losing his mother had been difficult.  

“What was her specialty?” Klaus recognised the question he’d asked himself yesterday, but the fact her hand squeezed his at the same time filled him with the confidence and warmth he needed. 

“Rosemary braised lamb shanks, it was her favourite protein. I’ve tried to pay homage on all my menus since.”

‘So, that explains the Saddle of Elysian Fields Farm Lamb with Babaganoush, Romano Beans and Harissa Jus on your menu then?”

“You’ve done your homework clearly?” 

“That and the fact it’s the first time I’ve seen you smile, and I have to say it’s really nice.” 

Klaus didn’t even realise he’d let it slip but suddenly it didn’t matter anymore. He didn’t want to hide it, not with her. 

“She used to tell me to smile all the time because I was too serious, you could say it’s something I’ve battled with ever since she passed.”

“All the more reason to smile, even just to introduce those dimples to the general public. Has anyone ever told you they should come with a warning?”

“No, but more than happy to discuss further.”

“If only, but I have to get going.” Klaus felt almost deflated that she was leaving as quickly as she’d arrived. Maybe he’d shared too much. “Deadlines and all that. But if you could just consult the email I sent confirming the details of our interview that would be great.”

Klaus felt disillusioned, he’d opened himself up to someone and she was running away.  She was out the door before he could even move from his seat. Checking his emails was the last thing he felt like doing, but his hand went to work on his cell checking it anyway and dreadfully waiting for its contents.

“As of three minutes ago, I no longer working for Delicious. It wanted a story I wasn’t prepared to write. I like your smile and dimples too much and I also want a Bananas Foster.”

His chest constricted as he read each word and his grin was unmistakable.  It didn’t take long for him to reply.

“You make my heart smile.”

Tabloids would report months later that famed food blogger Caroline Forbes married famed chef Klaus Mikaelson in rural England after proposing over a dessert of Bananas Foster in New Orleans. 

[duhragonball]

Hellsing Liveblog Ch. 51-56

This is the “Seras Coming of Age” part of Hellsing, but the chapters are all one-off titles: “Last Mission”, “Get Away”, “Yaksa”, “The Man I Love”, “Ogre Battle”, and “Angelous,”

Last time, Zorin Blitz’s company invaded the Hellsing HQ, and Seras managed to kill them all except for Zorin herself, and then she used her psychic whammy, forcing Seras to relive some traumatic moment.   We saw one of the Wild Geese get this same treatment, and he briefly saw his dead daughter before Zorin killed him.  As for Seras, she relives the deaths of her parents.   Years ago, two guys barged into their home and shot them.   The circumstances aren’t entirely clear, but they must have had some forewarning, since Seras’ mom hid her in a closet and told her not to come out no matter what.   But when she saw what they did to them, Seras became so enraged that she attackedthe men and stabbed one in the eye with a fork.  

The other guy shot Seras, and while she must have survived, she remembers laying on the floor as the guy she stabbed decides to rape her mother.   I’m not even sure “rape” is the right word, since she was already dead, but the guy doesn’t care because the body is “still warm.”   You’d think he’d be too upset about losing an eye, but maybe he’s high on cocaine or something.

I don’t think you need me to tell you this, gentle reader, but hol-ee shit this dark.   We knew Seras’ parents died when she was young, and it wouldn’t be hard to speculate that they died in some violent crime, but Seras watched it happen, and she stabbed a dude in the face, only to get shot herself, and she watched her mother’s body getting molested before she passed out.  

And this gives us some insight into what Alucard saw in her that night in Cheddar.  There, Seras was surrounded by ghouls, many of them her comrades in the police department, and a vampire who promised to rape her before drinking her blood.   Alucard found it remarkable how she persevered in this horror, but now we see that may not even be the worst thing that ever happened to her.  It’s not even the first time she got shot!  

And from the earlier flashback we saw, Seras was hellbound to become a police officer like her father.  After a trauma like this, it’s amazing that she’d want anything to do with the police, since those men killed her father for digging “too deep” into whatever they were involved in.  But Seras quietly, defiantly chose to follow in her father’s footsteps, only to suffer a similar fate. 

Because, let’s not forget, Seras is dead.   She died in Cheddar, because Alucard had to shoot through her to kill the vampire who had taken her hostage.   Then she agreed to become a vampire like him, and join the Hellsing Organization.   Once more, she has quietly, defiantly, chosen to carry on in this life of public service.  

But none of that matters to Zorin Blitz.   She just wanted to dredge up all this trauma to keep Seras preoccupied long enough for Zorin to do this...

Oh, also she lopped off Seras’ left arm, but I liked this impalement panel better. 

On top of that, Zorin slashes Seras’ eyes, which was pretty gruesome and shocking.   When I started watching the Hellsing Ultimate OVA, I couldn’t wait to see what happened next, so I trawled YouTube for clips of Seras, so I had a pretty good idea where the character was headed, and noticed that late-story Seras was missing a left arm.   So Zorin cutting it off didn’t surprise me much, but everything else she did to her was a surprise.

Then, just as Zorin seems to be ready to finish Seras off, Pip Bernadotte gets the drop on her and whacks her with the butt of his rifle.    Machine gun?   Semiautomatic?   I don’t know from guns.    He hits her with it, is my point.   Then he shoots her with a different gun to put the exclamation point on it.

There’s two other guys left in the Wild Geese, and they toss smoke grenades to cover Pip as he tries to carry Seras to safety, but he’s wounded, and then a Millennium soldier wakes up and shoots him in the thighs.   Was that guy playing possum?  The Geese take him out, and Pip even makes it back to them, but I’m not sure what good that does anybody.   Then Zorin gets back up and cuts him down with her scythe.    I don’t think she chops him in half or anything, but he’s not getting back up again, that’s for sure. 

Seras calls out to him, and he steals another kiss.   I guess he forgot about the last time, because he acts like he “finally” managed to do this.   Then he asks Seras to drink his blood, which will allow her to win.   I guess someone must have explained enough vampire lore to Pip for him to have figured this out.    Maybe Seras herself told him how it worked, which makes it doubly-meaningful for him to say this to her now.  

And Seras starts wailing with grief, before Zorin finally mocks her for it, calling Pip an insect.   I’ve seen a few people poke fun at this scene, because it’s kind of weird for Zorin to just stand by while Pip and Seras have this final moment together, but Zorin’s a sadist.   Much of what she’s done in these past several chapters has been about reveling in her enemies’ suffering.    She took her sweet time with Seras earlier, which was the only reason Pip managed to help her, and now she’s taking her sweet time again, like she’s enjoying this drama. 

So Zorin uses her psychic whammy again, but this time it doesn’t work on Seras.   Maybe because Seras is already in the middle of a terrible trauma in the here and now.   She couldn’t do anything to avenge her parents back then, and she was powerless against the Cheddar Priest, but this time?   This time she knows exactly what to do.

VENIT AEVUS ILLE, O MESSIAH, O MESSIAH

YUDULIYA-VELE YUDULIYA-VELE

EN ESE MOMENTO ZORIN BLITZ SINTIO EL VERDADERO TERROR.

So yeah, this rocks.    The anime version does this cool thing where all the blood soaks up into her clothes and stains them red.   Maybe the manga was going for the same thing, but it’s harder to tell in black and white.   I find it kind of strange how Seras’ eyes grow back, but her left arm does not.    I’m pretty sure she could reform her arm, but chooses not to.   Instead, she’s got this black ectoplasm-y thing, like the same black stuff that Alucard uses when he’s not holding back as much.

Then Seras starts slaughtering Zorin’s men.   Didn’t she already kill them all?  Yeah, but there’s more.   The anime tries to cover for this by having Zorin explain that some “late arrivals” showed up.  Well, they did have to enter the building single file to get past the mines, so it makes sense that Zorin would keep some in reserve in case there were more traps inside. 

Seras is my favorite character in this whole thing, and since these pages of her kickin’ ass speak for themselves, I guess I’ll talk about why I like her so much.    I’m pretty sure I saw a cosplay photo of her on tumblr, and I found the design intriguing.   She’s a vampire, but dressed in something like a military uniform, kind of like the “Bridge Bunnies” in Macross. I looked up Seras to find out what she was from, and I was like “Oh, Hellsing was the show Team Four Star has been abridging, I guess I need to watch that anyway so I can watch the Abridged version and get the jokes.”

Mostly, I just like the idea of a vampire with a very professional mentality, as opposed to the whole Lost Boys/What We Do in the Shadows/Buffy kind of aesthetic.    Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but we see that sort of thing all the time.   I’ve also seen a lot of “reluctant” vampires in my time.    Vampires who try to avoid doing any vampire stuff, or going about their business like the vampirism is just this inconvenient obstacle.   Hellsing presents this other option, where vampires like Alucard are used for the purpose of anti-vampire countermeasures.   He’s been turned into a weapon, but he’s basically just Dracula with a fresh coat of paint.   Seras is more firmly rooted in the concept.  Alucard was a vampire who became a sort of cop, and Seras is a cop who became a vampire. 

And while I liked the idea of Seras being like “Oh, well I didn’t want to be a vampire but I’ll try to make the best of it”, I quickly found out that she wasn’t just a cop with pointy teeth.   There’s moments where she can be scary and creepy too.   “Sir, yes sir, my Master.”  It sums her up very neatly.   This is a vampire who can be polite and respectful and professional, but she can also get very deep into the more horrific aspects of this thing.   She’s got layers.  Zorin Blitz tried to peel them back, and look how that’s working out for her.

Once the rank and file goons are dealt with, Seras goes after Blitz, and just wrecks her shit.   Blitz tries to punch Seras in the face and it does nothing.   Seras just bites all her fingers off and spits ‘em out.   Then she announces that she refuses to drink Zorin’s blood, not a single drop. This is important, because Seras was always reluctant to drink blood.  She said she feared that drinking blood would mean the end of something inside of her, but now she’s crossed that Rubicon.   One might suspect that she’d suddenly want to drink more blood, but no.  She drank Pip’s as a means to an end.   Zorin’s blood would serve no higher purpose, and I think there’s an implication that she doesn’t want to dishonor Pip’s sacrifice.  Desperate, Zorin tries to use her power on Seras a third time, and then this happens:

  Okay, so at first Zorin sees Seras’ memories, like before, but now there’s all this stuff from Pip’s memories, and then Warrant Officer Shrodinger, of all people, shows up.   Zorin is confused by this, but he explains that he’s “everywhere and nowhere,” which means he can appear in this psychic vision just as easily as he can teleport between Brazil and England.

Schrodinger is here to pass along a message from the Major.  See, Zorin disobeyed his orders, and he would normally punish her for this, but he and the Doctor are busy with a “most interesting toy”, so they’ll just leave it to Seras to take care of punishing Zorin.  

Yesterday, I think I figured out what Zorin’s disobedience was.    Before I was confused because she didn’t start attacking until Seras opened fire on her blimp, and that only happened because Seras was shooting at the rockets fired by the Major.   Everything that Zorin did afterwards could be considered a matter of self-defense, but therein lies the problem.    Namely, what was Zorin’s blimp doing in the line of fire to begin with?  

Because once Seras shot her down, everything Zorin did next was sort of her only option.   She pretty much had to attack the mansion, and brave its defenses, whatever those happened to be.   And the Major knew that this was a big unknown.   He warned Zorin about Seras Victoria and while he didn’t seem to know exactly what her abilities were, he regarded her as an “arch-enemy” on the same level as Alucard.  That’s why he wanted Zorin to hold off and wait for the rocket attack.   It was intended to probe the mansion’s defenses, and once it became clear that they had anti-aircraft guns, and that Seras was eagle-eyed enough to shoot down their rockets, then the Major could have ordered Zorin to find a different way.   

But instead she was too close and gave Seras a target, which precipitated everything else, up to and including this:

Yeah, Seras just drags Zorin across the walls until her whole head smears apart.   Cool!

With Zorin dead, Seras delcares her intention to take the fight to the enemy, and the last three Wild Geese salute her before she leaves.   One way or another, they realize that Pip has become a part of Seras now, and they pay their last respects to him through her. 

Then Seras flies toward London, using her left arm-thing to make cool bat wings.    And this is a good illustration of what Seras is all about.  Once, she might have been horrified at the thought of doing something like this, but now she sees it as a way to carry on with her duty.    This was what Alucard had been trying to get her to understand, but sometimes you just have to work these things out in your own way.   Seras is about utility, and now that she has a use for these vampiric powers, she’s finally prepared to embrace them as her own.

In London, Schrodinger reports back to the Major and informs him of Zorin Blitz’s death.  He’s not surprised, and even declares “our ruin has begun”.   Schrodinger points out that he’s leading everyone, friend and foe alike, into destruction, and the Major simply observes that this is war.   Millennium didn’t come to London to win, they came to London to fight.

Then the Ninth Crusade shows up.  Recall that, earlier, Enrico Maxwell organized a military response to deal with the Millennium invasion of London, but he hasn’t come here to save the civilian population.   Instead, he’s treating them as enemies, just like the Nazi vampires.    Somehow, there’s still living people in the city, and as dawn approaches, they see Maxwell’s helicopters putting off some sort of light show.  I don’t know what you call this, but the people on the ground think it’s angels, and then Maxwell orders his men to open fire.

I want to point out that the newly promoted Archbishop Maxwell is riding into this battle in a special truck with a glass box for him to sit in.   He’s surrounded by microphones so he can address his troops and the people below.   Also the truck is hanging from a helicopter.   It’s stupid and pointless and over-the-top, so naturally the Major is highly impressed with Maxwell’s style. 

[josephsaturn]

Danganronpa: trial 4 thoughts

Here they are! Finally!

Geez it took me forever to do this! I just had so much stuff to do and couldn’t play through the rest of the trial, but it’s here now, and I’ll see y’all after trial 5!

So much death…

Good lord Kyoko, for someone that wants to keep A.E. Secret, you’re doing a terrible job

Hah. 20-30%

Hamburger story

Aoi tellin it like it is

Really, if tōko & Togami want to be included, they need to be team players, which they aren’t

New floor!

The floors are iron grates? Why?

What does me being a boy have to do with anything, Kyoko?

I’m sorry. We’re friends?

Don’t pull this bs. You keep more secrets than me, and you haven’t told me all of yours yet.

I don’t even know your talent, much less any other substantial thing about you.

And Makoto, tell her why you can’t tell her.

Listen, I know he’s got a bad case of Protagonist Idiocy Syndrome (PIS), but he could at least do that

Good. Let her be mad.

Serves her right for keeping other secrets

4A & 4B TOO

WHAT THE HELL 2ND FLOOR?!

those look like flowers used for mourning…

What happened?

Celeste Hifumi & Sayaka?

Smiling

SMILING

What part of Celeste is smiling, Makoto?

Why should I trust you?

How many floors does this school have?

I didn’t even get to see what the Monokuma room was about

JUST THROW A CHAIR AT THE WINDOWS IN THE CAFETERIA HOW ARE YOU ALL THIS DENSE

Emoticons oh my lord

Yeah this game was made in 2010

I get the distinct feeling the translation team just gave up on those two lines between Hagakure and Monokuma

When has Hagakure ever called her ogre?

CELESTE WAS NOT SMILING YOU DUMB OF ASS

don’t. Even. kyoko

Who’s the bitch now?

Great. Him.

Can byakuya just “accidentally” fall off the stairs?

Byakuya? Contributing?

Toko please spend time with other people

Her degradation kink has no bounds

Communal life?

Ok, so what are they getting at?

The headmaster?

Oh new Kyoko sprite

Why’s her skin so pale?

This girl’s got like...no melanin

That’s a stupid name for a tragedy

Like, seriously, why not call it “the big calamity” or something?

What?

What happened with Monokuma?

A crab?

Huh, so that’s why he’s a bear

Ok so I’m looking at Junko’s sprite on her door & I realized something: it doesn’t have her hair decorations???

Like, one is black & the other is white? Where’s the bow & bunny???

Ma’am this is a Wendy’s

Tōko’s also got an A/B/O fetish apparently??

Kyoko. Please.

I no longer want tōko to survive.

She’s just mad she ain’t got tiddies

Byakuya come get your girlfriend before Aoi skewers her

Why we gettin toko’s backstory in CHAPTER 4.

She was more relevant in chapter 2, so why not then?

(I hung out with Aoi, hiro, Sakura, and tōko)

Nice to know Aoi’s just got ADHD

WE HAVE NO MONEY HERE, HIRO

…what

Hiro what

How can I be sad? How can I despair? For the B O N G O S are just too fire for me to despair.

Never mind Byakuya just insulted someone time to murder him

Ogami was the traitor. Huh.

Wonder what “hostage” Monokuma was talking about.

Y’know, since byakuya’s legs are so long, that gives my foot a clear shot to his crotch

Is Togami a news anchor or something? He sure likes twisting the truth

As I said before, Sakura. Hardcore.

Regrets, huh…

You owe nothing to Kyoko, Makoto. If she’s gonna be petty, just let her

B O N G O S

YO, SAKURA CAN YOU COME IN HERE FOR A SEC-

I love the fact that Togami of all people talks about unfairness

BITCH YOU RIGGED THE GAME O N C E

DONT YOU TALK ABOUT “FAIRNESS”

WAIT

YESSSESSSSSSSSS

PUNCH HIM IN THE DICK AOI

GIVE ‘EM THE OL’ DICK TWIST!

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

Kill them both. Togami and tōko

Oh the second time Togami is relevant in this game

That was nice…just sitting there with Sakura

WhY IS EVERY CHARACTER SPRITE TALLER THAN ME

IM 5’3 WHAT THE HECK

Tōko why do you have your “kinda horny” sprite rn

Ah… trust issues

What.

Jill please stop talking about boobs

Sakura kills tōko & Togami please

Well at least kyoko’s so understanding

I Take it back.

Wait…what’s Sakura doing in the lounge?

I don’t like where this is going

NOOOOOOOO

COME ON

WHY COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN TOGAMIIIII

at least now I know why aoi’s crying in the chapter splash art

Shouldn’t you, oh I don’t know, GO WITH HER??

Yknow…pool cues make great weapons…& you know what they say…”dull hurts worse than sharp”…

Togami’s horse is so high that if he got off of it he’d reach terminal velocity

Hm. Ya learn something new every day.

Huh, those figurines did mean something after all.

What do you mean, “so you found out”? AOI’S IN THE SAME ROOM. I LITERALLY JUST ASKED HER. YOU WERE IN EARSHOT

yea, Kyoko has gotten a lot more pushy

Yea Makoto’s getting tired of Yasuhiro’s bs

That’s a horrible drawing

Kyoko: *drops transparent hints as to what her talent is*

Also Kyoko: I don’t remember my talent🙂🙂

Dying message? Really?

Didn’t we already do that?

TRIAL TIME TRIAL TIME TRIAL TIME TRIAL TIME

emoticons again??

Kyoko agrees w me

Jeez…

Ok. NOW it’s trial time

Egyptian theming?? Huh??

New music??? Or have I just not been paying attention

Shining message.

Is Hiro gonna be the murderer?

Hiro what.

Vienna sausage?

Why is the trial music so F I R E ?

I will admit that was pretty funny Togami

Nice to know I’m halfway through the game

“Solving mysteries,” huh? Sounds like a detective to me

Soundin awfully sure of yourself, eh Togami?

Is he gonna die?

Awww…

I get the sense Hina likes Makoto

I dunno why, I just do

Get fucked Togami

Kyoko’s so smug oml

Dang Makoto’s sweating pretty hard

Cause she’s a good detective and you’re a kid with a superiority complex

New Togami sprite

TRIAL END

A suicide note?

Oh…

Oh my lord

That is just awful.

Wait what.

MonokUMA.

What is wrong w/ you??

Special guest?

Oh.

Oh no.

Alter Ego?!!

AW COME ON!

Oh lord Tōko’s not the only one with a degradation kink

Kyoko why r u in my room

Mukuro ikusaba?

OH ITS THE LINE ITS THE LINE

Kyoko why are you talking about Mukuro Ikusabsa, the 16th student, hiding somewhere in the school, the one they call the Ultimate despair, watch out for her?

That’s the end! See y’all after trial 5!

[hypnoticwinter]

Down the Rabbit Hole part 25

“Jesus,” Erica breathes, “you weren’t kidding,” and I resist the urge to roll my eyes.

I’ve managed to keep my heartrate under control all the way down to the barrows but now that we’re here I’m able to let my breath out and relax a little, ironically. The place is a graveyard, a grisly butcher’s workshop of stinking ichor and dismembered copepods. It is unearthly quiet, even down here in the middle of the Pit’s guts, with the only sound being the dripping of glutinous white phlegm-like vital fluids and occasionally a far-off groan from the Pit’s musculature.

The copepods are everywhere, strewn all over the place like ragdolls, and very few of them are intact. The majority have had their arms ripped off and a ragged hole bored straight through the middle of their armored faceplate that looks like it goes several feet deep at least. Here and there there are dead leeches, the only trace of the leechman, the only thing giving any clue as to what might have happened her. I briefly wish that I still had my camera with me.

Saying goodbye to Elena had made me acutely aware that I may not have been prepared for what I was getting myself into. I had helped her out of the cot and she had stumbled and cried out and then I caught her, prepared for the worst, already starting to panic – had I done a bad job? Had I hurt her somehow while I was tending to her wounds and only now was she able to feel the effects of it, getting up and moving around?

Elena had looked at me, lips already curling into a sheepish grin, and then she must have seen the look on my face and stopped, stood there straight without any assistance from me and then put her hands on my face and cupped me to her and kissed me so long and so hard that I felt a little faint. Erica had coughed behind us, a little uncomfortably, but when we finally broke apart I really had eyes only for Elena, I couldn’t stop staring at her, at the freckles across her cheeks, at the way one of the corners of her lips lifted slightly higher than the other when she smiled, at a dozen little things like that that I wanted to fix in my mind.

I don’t think I really knew, not consciously, at least, why I made such an effort to keep a clear image of her in my head then, to get every detail down in as complete a manner as I could. It only became apparent to me once we had walked out to the Cord and Elena had opened the door and turned around and waved to me before disappearing that I had been so concerned with her safety that I had had no concern at all for mine.

The door clanged shut and Marcus had spun the wheel to seal it tightly and then Elena was gone. Before she left we had hugged again, there in Oyster’s Shame, amid the glistening walls and the sounds of more of the tiny pearly deposits falling here and there like a soft distant rain. “You come back to me,” she had growled, right into my ear, and I could feel her leave a wet spot on my cheek from where she had begun to cry, and I wanted so badly to go with her but I didn’t see any way I could.

“Well,” I had said to Erica, forcing myself to sound brighter than I had felt, “let’s get this over with.”

So we did.

Marcus kicks one of the dead leeches and it rolls a little. It looks like it has some weight to it, some heftiness that isn’t immediately apparent from how slender it is. It’s about the length of my arm. “What the hell is this, E?” he asks, looking up at her, and Erica shakes her head, getting down on her haunches to examine it.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” she says. “It’s a little bit like a gastric bristleworm but not as…I don’t know, bristly.”

I’m standing there in the back with my arms folded, waiting. Next to me is the stinking corpse of a copepod; this one has been crushed, its insides, ropy and white, flooding out in a great mass from its burst sides. Even with the helmet up I can smell it; Erica and Marcus must have cast-iron stomachs. Erica does, anyway; when we first made it down to the barrows we’d had to stop for a moment to let Marcus vomit.

The tracking PDA had lead us almost exactly the way we’d gone the day before, back before everything had gone to hell. I still don’t know exactly what had kicked it off to begin with; my best guess was that the Leechman had showed up and gone on a rampage just after we’d left with the crystal, and the copepods, they must have assumed that it was our fault, that we’d drawn it here or were somehow working with it. Did they know what it was? Did they recognize it? I wish the Big Guy were still around to ask but we had passed his desiccated, punctured corpse, recognizable only by the stump of one of its wrists, as we had made our way through the central chamber. Marcus is carrying the Sergeant’s slug rifle but he does so nervously, as though he’s afraid of it. He clearly isn’t familiar with the thing. I wonder what’ll happen if he does have to fire it, if it’ll just put him on his ass or if it’ll actually break a bone.

The two of them have been decent to me so far. Erica seems genuinely regretful about hitting me earlier; she doesn’t look at me most of the time, and if she does need me for something, mainly to use the suit computer to look at a map, she asks for me politely and in a soft voice. I thought that Marcus might curse at me or harbor some kind of ill-feeling; after all, Elena – after all, my girlfriend attacked him, and I have no doubt that if she had been able to get away with it she likely would have shot the both of them and washed her hands of it.

The thought makes me shudder very slightly, but not of fear or anger but just vague baseless exhilaration, of minor and muted joy that things are finally happening, for better or for worse, for good or ill, that great capital-letter THINGS WILL CHANGE finally rolling over and putting muscle behind its epitaph.

I had been terrified on the way down that the copepods would have torn us apart, would have eaten us. I had no confidence in Erica and Marcus’ ability to protect this little illicit expedition. They have no plan, no notion of what might be waiting for them. And I don’t know what they intend to do if they do actually manage somehow to get their hands on the crystal. Break it? But that’d be counterproductive, wouldn’t it, as if what Erica’s saying is right, that’d just give us that psychic illness.

If I don’t have it already. Was that dream a dream or the start of it? Is it –

No, stop. Don’t be ridiculous. It’s the perfectly normal sort of dream to have when you’re under this much stress, in these conditions. Once you’re out of here, once you’ve – Christ, I don’t know, gotten Elena some vacation time or sick leave or whatever the hell and spent the rest of your savings taking her to fucking Tahiti or somewhere, if you’re still having the dreams then, you can worry about it.

I could tell them, I could tell Erica and Marcus. It’d be easy. I could just say something like, ‘hey, uh, so there’s this giant fucking ogre made out of leeches wandering around down here and it’s got the crystal you’re after, and it killed all these copepods. Oh, and the crystal weighs about a ton and we had to get a robot to carry it, which I notice you guys didn’t bring with you. No, you can’t use our robot, it’s probably smashed to bits somewhere.’

They wouldn’t believe me. There’s no way in hell they’d believe me. Even if I did want to save their asses, which at the moment is not very high up on my priority list. I’m still maintaining the faint hope that they might actually find the damn Leechman and try to get into a fight with it, which would be my cue to run like hell.

“Roan,” Erica asks me, again using that mildly infuriating soft and considerate voice, “have you seen one of these before?” She’s holding the body of the leech out to me, grasping it like one might hold a snake, right behind the head. Its mouth gapes insanely wide and round and the body hangs limp. I can’t stop myself from taking a step backwards.

Goddam it, Erica.

“Leechman,” I say, and then I cough. Our eyes meet for the first time in a half hour. “The leechman’s here.”

Erica’s eyes seem to grow instantly deeper. Her mouth is open slightly, and she stares at me in silence until Marcus nudges her, his eyes flicking between her and me. “What’s the leechman?” he asks, and Erica, broken out of her reverie, licks her lips and glances over at him.

“Nothing,” she tells him, getting to her feet quickly. “A fairy tale. Like the boogeyman.”

Marcus doesn’t believe this; I can tell from the way he looks at her, but he doesn’t question it, just gets to his feet as well and follows her as she pulls out the tracking PDA, taps at the screen a few times, and then points down at one of the darkened vents. “That way,” she says, and where she points we follow.

We make our winding way through the ass-end of the barrows, the part we hadn’t gone through yesterday, and then the trail takes a corkscrewing, winding path downwards. We are very clearly in a section of the Pit that people have not been in very often. Even in the sections leading up to the barrows, where the flesh of the vents is left bare and uncovered, there are still lights strung here and there, little radio repeaters and every now and then a tiny, cramped-looking ranger station, mostly mothballed and closed-off, but still evidence that someone had come before us. In the barrows, though, this stopped entirely. There were little trails of cleat-marks here and there, but I think the majority of them were from us stomping through earlier, they looked too fresh, too new.

We only saw a couple of copepods, and these from far off, across vast chasms of flesh, scarred here and there like cliff-faces. I couldn’t divine their purpose, just – anomalies of anatomy, no meaning, no clear analogue I can draw. Just places where the flesh falls away and vague misty nothing takes its place. As I stand on the precipice looking over and down into darkness, watching the way my flashlight beam peters out depressingly soon, I swear that for a moment I can see something moving around, something large, fluttering and flapping and swooping like some kind of giant bat, but if anything was there, it vanished so quickly as to not leave an impression on me other than a brief glimpse of size and frantic motion.

I turned back to see if Marcus or Erica had seen any of it but they were huddled together, deep in conversation, hunched over the PDA. After a moment I traipsed over to join them. With each step on the way down I had felt my weariness building, both in my body and in my heart – I had shoved so much out of the way down somewhere inside of me where I didn’t have to feel it, and it was only now that it was beginning to creep back out at me.

We’d passed some things I’d recognized from the rest of the squad – there was a torn piece of a suit there, in a small knurled corner, dirty and speckled with red matter that might have been blood or bits of flesh. I didn’t look closely enough to check. A boot, cleated firmly into the ground. Nothing as definite as a body; the closest I saw was a great foaming gout of blood splashed across the floor and up part of the wall of the vent, but no indication as to whether it came from a person, from a member of the team, from Klaus or Euler or – or Peter, or whether it was just natural, some artery in the floor being clipped during the fighting and spraying everywhere until capillary action cut it off.

If I think about it I won’t be able to go on. I can’t bear to –

Alright, Roan. Easy girl. Deal with it later. Right now just focus on staying alive. Get back to Elena and then you can cry about things. God, poor Peter, though; and poor Makado, waiting for him. How would I feel if it had been me up there and Elena down here?

I think of her, alone, making her way up the Cord, no weapon, still hurting, probably, as the painkiller starts to wear off, and I bite my lip, hard. Goddam it, I’m not going to cry. Not down here. She’s fine, she’s going to be perfectly fine. She knows how to handle herself.

I focus instead on the ache in my knees, in my back, in my arms. We’ve been going for so long, it feels like; hours upon hours. I’d check the time on the wrist computer but these damn gloves - !

Erica and Marcus look tired as well, at least. Maybe they’ll want to rest soon. We’ll be able to eat, sleep perhaps…they have to have some kind of tent, or sleeping bags, or something, even if it’s not one of the fancy hexagonal ones the squad used. I think about pointing out that we’re all dog tired, we might as well take a break before we go further, but I nix that idea quickly – I don’t want to seem weak. Erica’s given the impression that she won’t push me but Marcus is still a wild card, I don’t know him, how he handles stress, how he���ll act in a couple of hours when he’s even more tired and hungry.

They gesture and lead on, and I follow, dead on my feet but still forcing myself to continue.

And then, after fifteen minutes of walking, down treacherous polyped inclines, past outcroppings of redundant, keratinous spines, we find, laying in a slump with his neck at an awkward unnatural angle, his eyes terribly bright and aware, Euler.

I cry out when I see him; my stomach makes a horrible lurch as I take in the gnawed markings dotting his once-bright ranger suit, round and puckered and blood-crusted. The leeches have been at him but left him alive for some inscrutable reason. He coughs as we shine our lights on him and shifts feebly but he is unable to move more than an inch or two – his spine is clearly broken.

I hadn’t expected to find any bodies; somehow I had guessed that one way or another, anyone lost down here would be utterly irretrievable. But there is Euler, the one person I would never have expected to survive – I guess I underestimated him.

Or perhaps his current condition isn’t really surviving in the main sense. Once I’ve gathered my senses I rush to him and kneel there beside him. I have nothing to offer him, no painkillers, no first aid, nothing besides companionship, but it’s better than standing and gawking as Erica and Marcus seem to be satisfied with. I wipe his forehead with my gloved palm lightly, the sweat shining on the rubber in the wake of my flashlight, and Euler’s eyes shift up to meet mine and he croaks out my name in a hoarse voice. He says it wrong, like it were one syllable, but hearing someone I care about even infinitesimally say it is like breathing after being underwater.

“Euler,” I tell him, and my voice breaks just a tiny bit right at the end. I lick my lips and try again. “Euler, what the hell happened to you?”

“I’m – it’s bad, Roan,” he says. Rone. Should have changed my name in that rebellious phase, added that accent mark I always longed for. There’d be less ambiguity. I smile to myself in spite of everything and he grins at me, just a little bit, but his eyes stay wide and frightened. They flick over to Erica and Marcus, and I look back at them as well, and then give an exasperated sigh.

“Don’t you two have any damn medical things? A first aid kit?” They glance at each other. “Anything?”

“I thought you might…” Euler coughs. “Might have come to rescue us.”

I frown. Us?

“Euler, are there…more people from the squad down here? Hurt somewhere?”

He shakes his head minutely, then winces. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know where to touch him without hurting him. I tear my glove off with my teeth, just lay my hand against his cheek. It feels like an awkwardly intimate gesture but I don’t know what else to do, I don’t know how else to help. If it were me I think I’d – I think I’d want human contact, something skin to skin. I think it might be a comfort.

“What happened?” I whisper.

“The Leechman,” he says, “it – it grabbed me and then it –“

He cries out, gently, and I move my hand downward and grab his. He clutches at me desperately. The last time I had seen him the leeches had been streaming into his open mouth, writhing against him, wrapping him like a hundred pythons at once. I bite my lip and glare back at Erica again. “Will you two fucking do something?”

“He’s clearly past any help we could give him,” Erica says, and Marcus nods.

For a very brief moment I am so intensely angry I feel as though I might burst into flame. Euler cries out softly again and I realize I have squeezed his hand too hard, and I jerk my hand back from his, muttering a stammered apology. He shakes his head.

“They’re right, I’m done for,” he tells me. “You should – you’re going down further?” he asks, frowning, and I nod.

“Those two want the crystal,” I tell him, lowering my voice a little.

“It went…that way,” he says, glancing to the right, further down the vent and into the Pit’s depths. We sit there in silence for a moment longer and then finally work up enough nerve to ask him the question I wanted to.

“Are you in pain?”

He thinks about it for a moment. “It feels like I should be but it’s just dull.” He breathes heavily. “I’m afraid.”

“Euler, don’t –“

“I’m going to die down here,” he says, and there is a terrible layer of finality in his voice that makes my heart fall.

“No, Euler, you’re not –“ I start, but then cut myself off. Because he’s right, isn’t he? I can’t argue with him, there’s no way in hell that we’re going to be able to get him out of here. If he has a broken neck there’s no fucking way we could stabilize him well enough to carry him out of here, and even if we could, I’d need Erica and Marcus’ help, which they don’t seem incredibly inclined to give me. I look back at them and start to get up, but Euler catches the cuff of my suit and I stop, hunkered over awkwardly.

“Roan, I saw – “

He coughs; I can see his chest heaving. I wonder about those leeches; I know I saw them flooding into his mouth, forcing their way down his throat…what would have –

“I saw inside it,” he tells me. I frown.

“Inside what?”

“The Leechman,” he says. His eyes are boring into mine with a horrible intensity, practically bulging outwards. “I saw inside it and – and it was so bright –“

“Euler, I don’t know what you –“

“Don’t leave me down here,” he says quietly, and then lets go. There is a pleading in his eyes that stops me dead. I’ve let my mouth fall open slightly, but there is no mistaking what he means, there is no ambiguity in the quiet desperation in his tone. He wants me to –

I get up quickly. My hands are shaking and my arms and legs feel like I’ve been whipped with a coil of lightning. I walk over to Erica and Marcus, and Erica nods at me. “You ready to go?” she asks, and I shake my head. I open my mouth and try to talk but I choke a little, then cough and try it again.

“Erica, Euler, he –“

“What is it?”

I shut my eyes. “Kill him,” I tell her. “He asked me to but I can’t – I can’t do that. He’s scared and he doesn’t want to have to lay down here unable to move for a couple more days before something fucking eats him or he dies of exposure. Please.”

Erica’s eyes are very dark. She glances at Marcus, then back at me, before she reaches down to her belt and unsnaps the holster there, then hands me the revolver. I nearly drop it; it’s heavier than I had expected. “Do it yourself,” she tells me. Her voice is like glass. “We’ve wasted enough time here already.”

“You – “ I start, but I choke it back. She’s trusting me giving me the revolver; this means something to her. This is a test. But what am I supposed to do? Can I –

But you already did once before, some part of me whispers at the back of my head. Remember Rey? He’s dead because of you. And before that -

Marcus is covering me with his own slim little pistol. I swallow hard and try not to feel the imprint of its muzzle, covering me from five, seven, ten feet away from me, my back itching as I half-expect to hear a report and feel a sharp shock –

But nothing happens. I make it to Euler; he’s watching me, his eyes rolled upwards in a manner that somehow distinctly reminds me of a dog, somehow, and I hate myself for thinking so, but he’s looking at me in the same way a dog will look up at you, not moving its head, its eyes wide and hopeful.

I thought the gun might feel better in my hand after I’d had it there for a while, but it’s still awkward and heavy and purposeful. It’s much heavier than the pistol they’d given me to practice with during qualifications back on the range a few days ago; that one hadn’t even felt like a gun, it hadn’t felt real. This one most certainly does.

Euler nods at me infinitesimally. “It’s…alright,” he says. He seems to be laboring a bit more now; maybe he hadn’t been expending very much energy until we came across him. I certainly didn’t hear any cries for help on the walk up. If he’d been there the whole time, for hours, listening to the Leechman and the copepods duke it out…

“Euler,” I say, “what did you mean when you said you saw inside the Leechman?”

“Roan,” he says. His eyes are fixed on the revolver. I’m stalling, I realize; I’m putting it off so that maybe somehow this responsibility will be removed from me. The inside of my mouth is very dry and I swallow hard, willing some moisture to return to it.

“Okay,” I say quietly. Okay, I think to myself. I take the revolver, hold it in two hands, one on the handle, the barrel resting in the palm of my other hand. I look at the cylinder, fumble for a moment before that trip all those years ago with my dad comes back to me and I find the catch and swing it outwards. Erica hasn’t reloaded since she shot Elena, I note, some dull part of my mind logging the information without any further comment. I can see the tiny mark of the struck primer on one of the cartridges. But I won’t find any salvation here, there are still five more shots that are perfectly serviceable.

I click it shut, remembering, as my dad told me, not to flick it closed, not to spin it. You aren’t a cowboy, he’d said to me gravely, pressing the gun into my chest. It had smelled like oil and metal, like something functional, like when you open the hood of your car. And I had trembled then as I am now, and I had looked out across the flat open expanse of grass –

Even then I couldn’t bear to think of it after I’d done it.

I’m stalling.

Goddam it, Roan, goddam you and your willingness to stick your neck out.

Euler makes a small noise beneath me and I look down at him. “Are you sure?” I ask, willing him to say no, to rethink it, to give me a reprieve. He nods.

“Just do it,” he says. “They won’t come get me, they won’t care. Just do it.”

“Okay,” I breathe, and then I hold the gun in two hands – why does it come back to me so easily? – and put it up very close to his forehead, and Euler shuts his eyes, and I shut mine as well. I inhale and then exhale.

Five minutes later I hear feet squelching up behind me and then Marcus is crouching next to me and prying the gun from my nerveless hands. “It’s okay,” he says, not unkindly, and then he is gently pushing me out of the way. I get to my feet, not knowing what else to do. I meet Euler’s eyes and I start to say something, then I stop. There is no blame in them, or maybe I don’t want to see blame. So instead I turn around and hunch myself against the wall, and when the gunshot finally sounds I flinch, and then I finally let myself cry.

When I turn back around I can’t bring myself to look at him. I instead watch Marcus hand the revolver back to Erica, watch Erica slip it back into the holster, watch Marcus shove his pistol into the waistband of his heavy-duty jeans. I blurt out the only thing that comes to my mind and tell him that he shouldn’t carry one in the chamber like that, it’s dangerous, and Marcus gives me a pitying look and says nothing. When I meet Erica’s eyes they are lighter than before and I realize, with a shudder as another wave of tears rolls soundlessly down my cheeks, that whatever test there was, whatever reason made her give me the revolver, I passed.

And then we stomp off into the darkness and leave poor Euler behind.

 * * *

 The next day I feel better. I slept better than I thought I might have, sandwiched between Erica and Marcus in their tent, cramped and with not enough air mattresses or sleeping bags, but I managed. They shared some of their food with me, MREs scavenged from some surplus store somewhere, which I found faintly comforting, and then the next day, when someone’s alarm blared and woke us, I was disconcertingly and surprisingly fresh-feeling. All the pain and sorrow I thought might have come boiling out of me when I let my guard down never did, and instead it was replaced with a calm, warm, faintly comforting deadness. I was, I realize now, preparing on some level to die. I had arrived at a zenlike state that had me convinced I was either dead or dreaming, a fragile state of mind that I had tried so hard to reach at that dojo in Oklahoma but which constantly eluded me.

Since Friday I am complicit now in two murders, one arguably and one less so. When I think of myself the person I am is thorny and sharp-edged and armored and I do not recognize her when I hold her in my arms. I blow out a breath and pop my eyes open as Marcus nudges me and hands me a cup of bootleg espresso made from two freeze-dried pouches, and I take it gratefully and even manage to smile at him. I feel…clean.

We’ll see how long that lasts.

More walking, more bypasses across stinking rivers of digested slurry, more crawling across meter-wide cords of banded muscle. The anatomy gets stranger and stranger, more open, more wild. Nerves like waving cilia, waggling at us like anemones, retract at lightspeed at our approach. Everything is luminescent down here, everything glows, but what glows brightest of all is the rectangular blocky backlight of Erica’s PDA, guiding us forward like a north star. She seems less certain of it, less sure; she stops and consults with Marcus every now and then and I feel fairly frequently like I have simply been forgotten, like I am an insurance policy for the return trip, a hostage kept in waiting to be revealed and used as leverage later on.

Will Makado care, I wonder, when she knows that they’ve taken me? I hope she will. I think we got close enough that she would. I think she likes me.

Does she like me enough to send a team after me? I’m sure there’s some kind of tracking device in this suit but will it even function this deep down? I don’t know.

I stub my toe on a bloated adipose swelling and it belches a gout of rank, sticky fluid on me. We pause again for Marcus to vomit.

Eventually we make it to a curled, winding passageway, a tight intestinal-feeling loop that circles in on itself over and over again, the tissue struggling against us at every turn, that we have to claw and scrape and crawl through but that the PDA swears is the right way to go, the simplified arrow logo spinning back around and directing us back in every time we think of turning around and trying someplace else. We push through and through until finally it vomits us out, breathing hard and covered in blood and strands of pale-white membrane, and then we stop, eyes wide, staring up and up and up at the space we’ve found ourselves in.

It’s enormous, the size of a stadium and at least twice or maybe three times as deep, great gnarled coils of sparking nerves weaving in and out of the fleshy, irregular walls casting macabre light in regular snaking patterns across the broad flat plate of bone that divides the space nearly in half, knotty and bulging and thick, honeycombed and dripping with thick resinous marrow.

There are things moving, I realize, on the far-off floor of the chasm, great writhing worms or – no, no, they have legs. Squat lizard-like figures, then, moving in fits and starts, their flesh a glistening pale sickly color, like milk that’s gone off. They must be simply enormous for us to be able to see them from this distance. I glance back at Erica and Marcus; their mouths are open, dumbstruck as well – they must not have known this was here. Could we be the first to find this place?

I watch a shadow, a patchy midnight cutout, detach itself from the bone plate and fall swooping to the floor of the chasm, and then it wings its way back up, one of the lizards caught in its claws, dangling beneath like a rabbit caught by a hawk. I watch, overwhelmed, as the – the thing, whatever it is, I want to call it a bird but it can’t be, it simply can’t be – flutters ungainly and graceless back to the bone and vanishes with its prey into a whorled hole in the side, ragged and uneven.

“What is this place?” I mutter to Erica, after I’ve regained enough of my senses to think to speak, and she shakes her head faintly.

“I have no idea,” she tells me, but before I can say anything else I hear a noise from above us; a subtle noise, like a whistling, drawn-out swoosh, and when I look upwards I can only see a diving, dark-furred silhouette with outstretched, foot-long claws and a hungry, slavering mouth.

I don’t have time to scream.

Continue with Part 26

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[therainroguefanfiction]

🔥 ℝise Ⱥbove I̾t ◈ Chapter 021 [Dragonlings]

📑 Table of Contents | ◂Backward

Word Count: 2,464

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

〈“We’ll win, we’re sure. We will endure. And though our goal is far, We’ll be the ones to touch the sun. The triumph will be ours!” Jeff Williams & Casey Lee Willaims, “The Triumph”〉

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

“Shit!” I stumbled backward, barely dodging the metal club that nearly slammed into my skull. Bakugo was a few feet in front of me, surrounded by enemies. He was doing just fine, but the sheer amount of orcs around us made crowd control impossible and because of my low level, the enemies auto-targeted me. He was doing his best to keep aggro, but there were just far too many enemies. We were in a stone hallway, about the width of two cars and the length of a river. The hallway was underground, beneath a stone castle.

I grunted when the metal club collided with my sword, making me slide backward.

With every enemy that Bakugo destroyed, my experienced jumped and my level increased, but I’m still a long way off from being a hundred and these bastards are still red for me. My boots slid against the stone floor, kicking up dust. I could smell the foul breath of the ogre as it breathed through its mouth, thick saliva dripping from its pointed teeth. He pushed again and my arms gave out. I quickly fell to my knees, avoiding the club as it slammed into the wall above my head, sending chunks of stone flying.

“Goddamn it! Get the fuck outta my way, losers!!” Bakugo roared angrily, slicing and dicing his way through the crowd.

My experience kept going up, refilling my stamina and raising my max health. It became easier to dodge and parry, but I still couldn’t kill the damn thing. I guess I just have to keep chipping away at its health until it finally dies.

I huffed, dodging another swing of the club as it slammed against the ground where I had been standing. I moved my foot backward and heard a loud hissing coming from behind me, followed by a sharp pain in my ankle. “Fuck!” My leg gave out underneath me and I fell onto my ass, noticing a black snake scurrying away. A small screen popped up in the corner of my vision: ‘You have been poisoned!’

As if my numb leg wasn’t enough of a clue, thanks game!

The orc grunted, its long arms swaying back and forth as it shambled toward me. I scooted back, wincing in pain. Shit, my health is draining pretty fast from the poison. “Uhh, Bakuhoe, I could use a hand, bro!”

“Shut up, I’m fucking trying! Die!!”

The orc raised the club and I squeezed my eyes shut. Aw, shit, this is gonna hurt like a mother fucker.

A whoosh of wind rushed past me, followed by the sound of metal clashing. I peeked my eyes open to see… Red?! He was kneeling in front of me, two daggers crossed as they held the club between them. He wore a tan vest similar to Bakugo’s, with matching tan pants. A red and black scarf was wrapped around his neck, with a matching one around his hips. Two black rings pierced the outer shell of both ears.

“It’s not very manly to attack someone so many levels beneath you!” He grinned, pushing the orc backward before slashing at him with both daggers. The ogre roared in pain before exploding into pixels and vanishing. He glanced over his shoulder at me. “You okay, Winchester?”

“Poison,” I groaned, feeling the snake’s venom slowly creeping through my veins.

“Ah, crap! Hang on!” He panicked, opening up his inventory and pulling out a purple liquid in a glass bottle that was wide at the bottom and narrow at the top. He kneeled beside me, pulling the cork from the bottle. “Quick, drink this!”

I took the bottle, the smell of elderberries invading my nostrils. With a gulp, I quickly downed the contents, nearly gagging at how thick the consistency was. Shit tastes like fucking grapefruit that’s been sitting in the desert for six decades. Fuck. It worked, though. The feeling started to return my leg and my health slowly started to regenerate.

“Thanks,” I muttered.

He gave me a bright smile. “Happy to help!”

“Oi, shitty hair! Make yourself useful!”

“Leave it to us, okay?” He winked before standing up and rushing at the group that surrounded Bakugo. Seeing the two of them fighting back to back is honestly majestic as fuck. They’re perfectly in sync, even without even verbalization. Within just a few minutes, the horde had been defeated.

Bakugo stomped over, scowling down at me. “How the fuck are you still so damn low?!”

“Because it takes time to go from level one to eighty, you impatient twat!”

“The fuck did you just call me?!”

“You should get your ears checked, grandpa!” I scoffed, pulling myself to my feet. “‘Just stay behind me and you’ll be fine’, my fucking ass! Jeez,”

“You shouldn’t be so damn weak!”

“I just started this fucking game!”

“And?!”

Red sweatdropped, putting himself between the two of us. “Come on, guys, calm down!”

Bakugo humphed, turning around and stalking down the hall while muttering under his breath.

I ruffled my hair in frustration, picking up my sword off the ground. He’s like an annoying ass younger brother that you wanna stab but also love at the same time. I followed down the hall, making sure to keep plenty of distance between us.

Red walked at my side. “So, you just started, huh?”

I glanced at him. Does he ever not grin? “Yeah, couple hours ago.”

“And you’re already level forty-nine, that’s awesome!”

“Not really. Bakuhoe has done all the work. I’ve just kinda… been here.”

“Bakuhoe,” He covered his mouth, shoulders shaking with laughter. “The two of you seem really close!”

My brow furrowed at the comment. “Not particularly. We just kinda… tolerate one another cause we got no one else.”

His grin morphed into a smile, his hand finding my shoulder. “I consider both of you to be friends, so don’t hesitate to come to me, okay?”

I stared at him for a moment. “What’s your name?”

He sweatdropped. “You don’t know my name, Winchester, how cruel~!”

I shrugged. “Red it is,”

“No, wait! Eijirou Kirishima!”

“Look alive, losers!” Bakugo screamed from the end of the hall, his vermillion eyes glaring through the low light of the dungeon. “We’re about to enter the boss room! Don’t fucking die or I’ll kill you!”

“There’s no PVP in this game, though.” Kirishima tilted his head, a dumb look on his face.

Oh boy…

“I meant in real life, shitty hair!” He scoffed, pulling up the game menu. A screen popped up in front of Kirishima before I got the notification that ‘RedRiotx’ had joined the party. Bakugo pulled the chain hanging above the door and the hallway started to shake, dust falling from the ceiling. The metal door creaked and groaned as it slowly slid up, leading into a large throne room. Four pillars stood on opposite sides of the room, strange symbols and pictures carved into the stone. The ceiling towered above us and I got the distinct impression it was like that to accommodate the size of the boss.

Speaking of which, this room is eerily quiet…

The metal door in which we entered through slammed shut, the metal slamming against the floor. Kirishima lifted his head, nose twitching as he sniffed the air. His eyes grew wide, “Bakugo, move!”

A howl filled the room, rivaling Present Mic when he uses his quirk. The entire room shook from the soundwaves and I covered my ears, gritting my teeth. No, this sound doesn’t rival him, it’s worse!

Bakugo jumped back just as something large fell from the ceiling, landing in the center of the room.

Holy. Fucking. Tacopool. That is, by far, the ugliest motherfucker I have ever fucking seen in my life. His feet were the hooves of a horse, connecting to hairy legs bent at an odd angle. His beer belly jiggled at the slightest of movements, covered in coarse hair the color of salt and pepper. His arms were thick and full of muscle, leading to huge hands with three thick fingers. Ripped leathery wings sprouted from his back, the spikes dripping with green goo that sizzled when it hit the ground. His head was a mixture of a minotaur and a pig, with gnarled teeth that shot up toward his snout. Red, beady eyes were watching Bakugo hungrily.

“Ugh, I remember this guy.” Kirishima stuck out his tongue, face screwed up as if he had a bad taste in his mouth. “He’s a real pain in the ass to beat, even as a group! Maybe we should -”

“Shut the fuck up! He’s not stronger than me!”

“Bakugo, wait!”

But it was too late. The blonde charged at the boss with his cutlass raised. With a grunt, the boss swatted at him like he was a mere fly, sending him skidding back across the room. This continued on with Bakugo unable to get close enough to strike.

“Hey Winchester, do you trust me?”

I glanced at Kirishima. His red eyes were trained on the two, his expression dead serious. “Not really, no.”

He nearly fell to the ground, turning his body to face me. “W-Well, at least you’re honest…”

“You got a plan or somethin’?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “But I have to form a contract with someone in order to use it.”

“I’m sorry, the fuck?”

Bakugo was thrown against a pillar, his health taking a significant hit.

“There’s no time to explain! Please just trust me, Winchester!” His eyes bore into my own as a screen popped up beside me: ‘Dragonling RedRiotx has requested to form a contract with you!’

I glanced at Bakugo, who was breathing heavily but not relenting in his assault. Fuck it, what’s the worst that could happen? I pressed accept and Kirishima took both of my hands in his, eyes closed as his body started to glow a bright red. The light expanded to cover my own and my stamina drained rapidly.

His body started to grow, morphing and changing as he increased in size until a red dragon took his place, large body barely able to move in the room. He flexed his wings as best as he could in the tight space, his loud roar shaking the room and paralyzing the boss for ten seconds.

“You’re a fucking Dragonling?!” Bakugo yelled in disbelief, striking at the frozen boss.

What the fuck is a Dragonling? I didn’t see that race on the character creation screen… is it one of those pay to win races?

Kirishima tilted his head back, filling his lungs with air before exhaling a burst of fire that flew straight at the boss, taking a large chunk of health from it as it flew across the room from the force. He huffed, black smoke coming from his nostrils. “That barely did any damage!” His voice was deeper and came out as more of a growl than anything.

What is he talking about? He just took like three inches off his health bar. I squinted across the room, glancing above the boss’ head so the health bar would come into view. A second later, the numbers popped up over it. “T-Ten million health?!”

“He’s a raid boss, one of the toughest in the game.” Kirishima turned his huge body to the side, his tail whipping over my head and slamming into the boss as he rushed toward him. The boss went sliding backward. “He was designed to be taken out by a group of at least twenty level one hundred players!”

My eye twitched as I stared at Bakugo. That fucking idiot sure knows how to aim big, don’t he… Damn, this sucks ass. I can’t do shit to help out here and even if I tried, I’d just get in their way. With a sigh, I pulled up my skill tree to get rid of that annoying notification in the top right of my vision. Damn, that’s a lot of points to spend. Wait… what’s this?

‘Warriors Shout: Release a loud battle cry, inspiring your party members and buffing them for five minutes. This ability can only be used once every fifteen minutes.’

Well, that could be fucking useful. With all of the points I had accumulated, I was easily able to max out the skill with points left over. Now to confirm it… okay! I spread my feet shoulder-width apart, lifting my arms a bit and clenching my fists like Goku does when he’s about to fuck some shit up. I sucked in a deep breath, activating the power as I exhaled. My voice came booming from my mouth, sending red shockwaves toward both Kirishima and Bakugo. Their bodies flashed red as their stats jumped up.

Bakugo grinned wickedly, dodging one of the wings as he sliced at the boss’ shoulder. “Why the fuck didn’t you do that sooner, tiger?!”

“‘Cause I didn’t know I fucking could, obviously,” I muttered under my breath.

The boss’ health was steadily decreasing now and it was getting more desperate in its attacks. It spread its wings wide and jumped into the air, disappearing from sight. I heard a crackling behind me and I glanced over my shoulder, jumping out the way just as a large green ball whizzed past me. There were dozens of them moving about the room and Kirishima’s large body made it impossible for him to dodge them. I saw his health bar appear every time he took a hit, but his health barely moved. Fuck, he has hella high defense and health.

“Brace yourselves!” Kirishima growled. “He’s coming!”

The balls disappeared and the boss reappeared, folding his wings around his body as he fell through the air like a ten-ton truck. The impact against the ground sent a shock wave of air through the room, throwing me back against the door. Everything started to flash red as I coughed, clutching my shoulder. I glanced at my stats, a bead of sweat rolling down my cheek.

One. Fucking. HP.

Bitch, how am I alive right now? All of the durability on my armor is gone, too. That’s probably the only thing that saved me. Sheesh.

I coughed up blood, breathing heavy as I leaned back against the metal door. This is so damn annoying! Why did I let that blonde idiot talk me into this?

The boss zoned in on me, snorting and stomping his foot like a bull before rushing at my with incredible speed. I willed my body to move, but it was no longer in my control.

“Winchester!”

“Dodge, you dumbass!”

Farewell, cruel world. I closed my eyes and awaited my fate, thinking about the glory that belongs only to the taco.

“Slice!”

A flash of green.

A huge burst of wind.

A cloud of smoke.

What the fuck just happened?

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

▸ Forward

📜 Read more by checking out my masterlist 📜

[changingourdestiny]

Burnt Memories Part 1: The Exo, the Prince, & the Queen.

Summary:

While on a mission to stop a Hive ritual on the moon, Fireteam Paralight receive a call from a mysterious stranger asking them to meet her on Venus. Who is she and why is reaching out to Rae of all Guardians?

Next Part: Here

It’s been a little over a week since Fireteam Paralight had completed their first mission together as a group. After discovering a race called the Hive have begun attacking Earth, the three guardians have begun scouring the Moon, which was given up to the Hive centuries ago, for answers. As the past few days have rolled by, the small group has learned to work together in unison and harmony…

…is what one would wish to say, but this is Fireteam Paralight we’re talking about.

“WHAT DID YOU DO?!” “NOTHING!!! I SWEAR!!!” “SO WHERE DID THAT GIANT OGRE COME FROM?!?!” “HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!?!”

Fireteam Paralight were attempting to halt a ritual being performed by Hive witches to drain the Traveller’s light, when they were attacked by Telthor, a Hive ogre. The two Guardians’ argument was interrupted as they narrowly dodged a series of void beams from said ogre. “What’s the plan, oh fearless leader?” Blaze yelled as she ducked behind a pillar. “Keep your distance, dodge the beams, and for the love of Light, do not die!” Rae yelled back from atop one of the flights of stairs as she lobbed a vortex grenade at the ogre.

“And it’s because of those genius strategies, we made you the leader. And here I was doubting warlocks were smart!”

“If you have a better plan, be my guest!”

Rae saw Blaze perk up at her statement, “Not an invitation! Don’t do anything stupid!”

Blaze groaned in response as Rae continued, “I’ll get up high and try and snipe him from above. Blaze, try to keep his attention on you while Adam flanks him.”

“Now THAT’S a good plan!” Blaze smirked behind her helmet as she leapt out from behind the pillar and began to run past the ogre, shooting at it with her hand cannon, “Oi, ugly! Over here!!” As the ogre turned to face Blaze, Adam emerged from where he was taking cover began to shoot at it with his pulse rifle. Meanwhile, Rae got to the highest point she could find and took aim with her sniper rifle, “Keep him steady guys! I need to get a clean shot!”

“Let him have it!”

*BANG!*

———————————————————————

“Phew…thank the Traveller that’s over…I never wanna see another Hive again!” Blaze sighed as she, Rae and Adam walked out of the temple. “We’re not done yet, unfortunately.” Rae added, “We still need to investigate what our new friend told us…”

Earlier…

“I hate this temple with a passion.” Blaze grumbled as Fireteam Paralight sped along the moon’s surface to the Temple of Crota on their Sparrows. “Me too.” Rae replied, “But the Speaker says that if we don’t stop the Hive from performing this ritual, the Traveller will lose its Light. And to do that, we need to go down into the temple.”

“Rae, someone’s trying to establish contact.” Ghost spoke up, “Could be the Speaker.”

“Please tell me another fireteam has already taken care of the ritual and we can go home!” Blaze begged. “Patch it through.” Rae replied to Ghost. But the only sounds that followed were heavily distorted white noise. “Let’s get out in the open. I’ll have a better chance of locking this signal.” Ghost advised. “Roger that. There’s a clearing outside the temple. We’ll try there.” Rae replied. As the three guardians parked their Sparrows outside the temple, Ghost appeared beside Rae and began to expand and glow, trying to get a clear signal. Finally a female voice was heard through the noise, “You’re interesting. Not entirely interesting, but…you have promise.”

“Ok…that is definitely NOT the Speaker.” Blaze commented. “Who is that?” Rae asked. “I don’t know…” Ghost replied, “I’m losing the signal…”

“Guardian,” The voice continued, “I know what you are about to do. It’s brave. But there are enemies out here you would not believe.”

“Oh wonderful…” Blaze groaned. “Shh!” Rae hushed the Hunter before addressing the voice again, “Out where?”

The voice remained silent for a moment before saying, “Go down and face the Hive and if you live, come find me.”

Ghost then reverted to his smaller form, “Signal dropped. I got some broken coordinates – Venus, Northern hemisphere, Ishtar region.”

“Venus, huh? Can’t be much worse than the moon!” Blaze laughed, “…right?”

Before anyone could reply, a large roar was heard from the temple. “Great. What do we do now?” Ghost asked. Rae began to walk towards the temple entrance, 

“We go down.”

The next day

“I WAS WRONG! VENUS IS WAY WORSE THAN THE MOON!!!”

Fireteam Paralight stood back-to-back as they faced the oncoming hoards of Vex. “No kidding!” Rae yelled over the gunfire, “At least we could keep track of the Hive. These guys keep teleporting everywhere!” Blaze took aim at a Vex goblin’s head and fired, hitting it dead on, “Ha! Bullsey- wait.” Blaze stared on in shock as the goblin, now with no head, came charging at her, “Oh come on!!”

Rae blasted the goblin’s chest, causing it to go down. “These aren’t like the other enemies! The weak spot is the chest area, not the head!” Rae yelled. “Great! Now I don’t know which I hate more; Hive or Vex!” Blaze growled as she activated her super. Her hand cannon began to glow and catch fire as she began shooting the incoming goblins and hobgoblins in their chests, causing them to catch fire, as the last of the hoard fell. “There. That should do it.” Blaze sighed as Firefly appeared beside her, “Those things were scary!”

“Ah, don’t worry, Fly. I’ll protect ya!” Blaze patted her Ghost on the head. Meanwhile Ghost and Stormbringer also appeared and began floating around the corpses of the Vex. “What are these things?” Ghost exclaimed, “Are there any still intact that I can analyse?!”

“I uh…I think I roasted them pretty bad…sorry.” Blaze scratched her neck sheepishly. “Hey, better them than us, right?” Rae shrugged with a smile.

“Well fought.”

The guardians and their Ghosts whipped around to see a white Exo standing atop a flight of stairs. “You’re here.” Rae spoke up as the figure approached. “We haven’t got much time.” The Exo stated as she walked by them. “Who the heck are you anyways?” Blaze asked. “Why have you been watching us?” Stormbringer added. “I don’t even have time to explain why I don’t have time to explain.” The Exo looked to the side slightly and muttered, “I will. I will. I know.”

“Will what?” Ghost asked, confused. The Exo turned to face Ghost, “I wasn’t talking to you, little light.”

“I’m a Ghost, actually.”

The Exo approached the other guardians, “Many guardians fell. Strong ones. But you made it here-“ The Exo seemed to cut herself off as she looked over her shoulder slightly, “Yes, I’m listening. They are here. With me.”

“Who’s she talking to?” Firefly asked. Blaze just shrugged in response as the Exo continued muttering. “Understood.” The Exo faced the guardians once more, “You need my help, guardians.”

“Is that why you brought us here?” Rae asked. “They brought us here.” The Exo corrected as she walked over to a burnt yet still-twitching goblin, “The Vex. Evil so dark it despises other evil.”

“You’re not a guardian.” Stormbringer spoke up. “No. I was not forged in Light. But I believe where our paths cross…” The Exo put a foot on the goblin’s chest, “Ground…could break.” She pushed down hard on its chest, crushing it and killing the goblin. She turned and looked at the three guardians, “Have you heard of the Black Garden?”

“We’ve heard the legends.” Blaze replied, “What about it?”

“The greatest threat to us all lies there, where these machines are born. Find the Black Garden, rip out its heart. Only then will your Traveller begin to heal.”

“Can you help us find it?” Rae asked, “We can use all the help we can get.”

“My path’s my own. I can’t.”

“If we’re going to find the Black Garden…” Stormbringer began, “We need to see the Awoken.”

“Oh lovely. That will end well.” Blaze mumbled. “Is there a problem?” Rae asked, concerned. “The Awoken aren’t so…welcoming to Awoken from Earth…especially guardians.” Blaze replied, “I doubt they’ll be ecstatic to see us, let alone help us.”

“Ah, yes. The Awoken.” The Exo began, “Out there wavering between the Light and the Dark. A side should always be taken, little light. Even if it’s the wrong side.”

The Exo turned away again, distracted by something, “Too late, returning. How many?” The Exo then began to walk away while pulling out a dagger, “Hold position, kill the engines and don’t let them find you.” She then disappeared in a flash. “So,” Rae began, “How do we find the Awoken?”

“They live all the way out at the edge of the Darkness.” Blaze replied, “Last place the Light touches.”

“Can’t we just stay here with the murderous robots!?” Ghost begged. “No, little light.” Rae replied with a chuckle, earning a laugh from Blaze and Firefly. “Don’t do that.” Ghost glared at Rae.

———————————————————————

“Are we there yet?”

“No.”

“…are we there yet?”

“No.”

“……are we-?”

“No, Blaze, we aren’t!” Stormbringer scolded as the three guardians flew their ships through ruins of spacecraft floating among the stars. “Sorry!” Blaze groaned, “I just don’t know which is torturing me more; the boredom of this long-ass trip or the nervousness on how the Awoken are gonna react to a team of guardians showing up out of nowhere.”

“As long as we show we aren’t a threat, we should be fine.” Rae replied, “Where did all this come from anyway?”

“Every ship that could escape fled Earth during the Collapse.” Ghost explained, “They made it this far. I guess they died out here.”

“It’s a graveyard…how did the Awoken survive?”

“No one knows.”

“Guys, we got company!” Blaze announced as two unknown ships pulled up alongside the guardians’ ships. “Intruder bearing 127. You have crossed into the realm of the Awoken.” A voice announced through the guardians’ communicators, “State your business or be fired upon by order of the Queen.”

“Don’t look at me.” Ghost whispered, “Better say something.”

“I’ll handle it.” Blaze volunteered before speaking to the ships though her own communicator, “I am Blaisel Kiria, I’m an Awoken and member of Fireteam Paralight. We are from Earth. We’re here to seek the counsel of the Awoken.” There was silence for what felt like years before a reply was heard, “Conform to my trajectory. Any deviation will be taken as an act of aggression.”

“Looks like we’re in the right place.” Rae smiled, “Nice job, Blaze!”

“Was there any doubt?” Blaze smirked. “Why is the right place always so terrifying…?” Ghost muttered.

———————————————————————

Rae walked down a walkway towards a large throne, Ghost by her side. Following behind her was Adam, Stormbringer, Blaze, Firefly and two Awoken guards. They had been ordered to leave any weapons on their ships. Standing in front of the throne was an ice blue Awoken with short jet-black hair, white facial markings and orange eyes. He wore leather armour with matching boots and gloves and a long, tattered cape. He looked down at Rae, “So these are the trespassers demanding an audience.”

“We didn’t mean to trespass.” Ghost piped up. “The Queen herself judges who may or may not enter the realm.” The Awoken began, as he walked down the steps of the throne, “Me, I see no reason she should be available for whatever washes up at the Reef. But here we are.”

“We’ve come to ask for help.” Rae spoke. Suddenly her eyes were drawn to the throne where she saw two fallen emerge from behind, armed with spears. “Fallen!” Ghost warned. Blaze, acting on impulse, grabbed the nearest weapon, which was a gun belonging to one of the guards. She pushed past Adam and Rae and was about to aim it at the Fallen, but the Awoken, who seemed to only now notice Blaze’s presence, quickly grabbed her arm which held the gun with one hand and held a dagger at her throat with the other. He glared at her, but his expression changed to one of confusion when he got a good look at her, “You…how-?”

“Hey!! Leave Blazie alone, you bully!” Firefly zipped in between the Awoken and Blaze. The awoken’s expression returned to a glare.

“It is afraid of the Fallen.”

Rae looked past the two Awoken to see a female Awoken now standing in front of the throne. She also had ice blue skin and had bright blue eyes and white hair. She wore purple robes with black leather armour and a black fur collar. “It does not understand these ones are mine.” She said as she sat upon the throne. “Who is she calling an ‘it’?” Stormbringer mumbled. “Blaze. Stand down. The Fallen aren’t a threat.” Rae ordered Blaze, who was still at blade-point. “I will…when HE does.” Blaze replied, still glaring at the Awoken. “Blaze. You pulled the gun first, and it’s not even yours. Stand down. Now.” Rae warned. Blaze remained still for a moment before sighing in defeat and pulling her arm away from the Awoken before handing the gun back to the guard, “Sorry. Reflexes.” The guard just snatched the gun out of her hand as the Awoken stepped away from Blaze, turning to face the female on the throne, “Apologies…Your Grace.”

Rae stepped in front of Blaze, “I apologise on behalf of my teammate. I assure you, she only meant to protect me. She didn’t mean any disrespect. Right, Blaze?”

“Yeah…” Blaze muttered. “I am Raegalianis Drakyx of Fireteam Paralight, or Rae for short.” Rae continued, “We are Guardians. From Earth. We’re searching for the Black Garden.”

The male Awoken faced them with a scowl, “Why?”

“We seek to destroy the Darkness at its heart.”

“You want to turn it into a battleground. How unimaginative.”

Blaze clenched her fists tightly. Adam placed a hand on the irritated hunter’s shoulder but seemed just as irritated as she was at the Awoken’s attitude.

“Do you know where it is?” Rae asked, trying to remain calm.

“Everyone knows where it is. The hard part is getting in.”

“Well...can you help us?”

“And why would we do that!?” The Awoken was now intimidatingly close to Rae. Blaze was struggling to hold back the urge to shove him away from Rae. ‘Who the heck does this guy think he is? The freaking prince or something?!’ Blaze thought to herself. “The Queen requests counsel with her brother.” The Queen spoke up.

‘Oh…he IS the prince…’

The prince turned away from Rae and approached the throne where the two discussed in hushed voices for a moment before both looking at the group of guardians. The prince then chuckled, “Yes, that’s good. That’s good.” He then stood up, turning to face the group, “Why not? We’ll make you a key! How’s that? All we need is the head of a Vex Gate Lord…”

“A Gate Lord…” Ghost began to sound nervous, “Uh, we…”

“Why do you want a Vex head?” Blaze asked, cutting off Ghost as she stepped forward so she was beside Rae. “Oh, we don’t.” The prince replied, “And I’ll doubt we’ll get one either. But it’s your only hope of getting into the Black Garden.”

“We will return.” Rae stated, putting a hand on Blaze’s shoulder. “Or die on Venus. Either way.” The prince replied. Blaze let out a low growl as Rae and Adam turned to leave with the guards. Blaze glared at the prince for a moment before turning to leave. But as she was doing so…

“Oh, and Blaisel? I hope you’re taking care of the ring you were given.”

Blaze froze in her tracks, her eyes wide in shock as she spun around to face the prince, “H-how do you-?” 

“Blaze? C’mon, we’re leaving.” Rae called from behind. “Uh, r-right! I-I’m coming!” Blaze glanced behind her once more at the prince, who was smirking at her, before running to catch up with her fellow teammates. Rae noticed the sudden change in Blaze’s demeanour, “Blaze? What’s wrong? Are you al-?”

“I’m fine!” Blaze snapped, realising how loud and harsh she sounded before correcting herself, “I mean, yeah. I’m ok. Let’s just get back to the tower to regroup.” Blaze walked on a few feet ahead of the group as the made their way back to the ships. Rae looked at Adam who seemed just as confused and concerned as she was. The three entered the ships and left the Reef, flying back to Earth.

To Be Continued…

[writingkeepsmewhole]

Go Down Swinging.

This is the forth part of The Cowboy and The Girl. Sorry for my messed up posting here lately I’m trying to do better. I hope yall like this at least. 

They make it to the capitol but not completely unscathed.

Joel Miller x OC Trish

Warnings: Language, death. 

I would love tag you: @amandamaesweetheart @jodiereedus22 @el-dibidibidorado1

Part 1  Part 3

I walk up the ramp of in the garage some soft of workbench right next to the door.

“Whatcha got?” Joel says standing next to me.

“Thought I would take the  moment to check over everything I got.”

“You mind if I join you?”

I shake my head and smile at him. I pull everything out of my backpack and make a mental note that I need more water.

“Give me that.” Joel says pointing at the pair of pliers next to my hand.

Picking them up I hand them to him curious as why he would need them. Pulling the revolver from his waistband I watch him take it apart and put it back together. I get lost in watching his hands fix the handle.

“Are we gonna go?” Tess asks popping the bubble I was in.

Looking over my shoulder I see her and Ellie standing, waiting on us.

“I’m ready.” I say slinging my backpack over my shoulder.

“We don’t have all day ya know?” She says opening the door next to us and going threw it.

“Well forgive me for wanting to know exactly what I had.”

“You can do that when the job is done.”

I roll my eyes and follow Joel up a fallen floor us going a floor higher. It doesn't take long realize we are in some kind of museum.

“Ooo look dead guys that no one cares about anymore.” I say looking at a large painting of the revolutionary war.

“Who are those guys?” Ellie asks.

“Like she says people no one cares about. Let’s go.” Joel says walking into the next room.

I smile and roll my eyes following the group.

“Aw shit.” Joel says when the wall is caved in.

“No way around?” I ask looking up at him.

“Give me a minute.” He says walking around the corner.

“Over here.”

“Yeah because that’s safe.” I say looking at he hole he is about to crawl in.

“Shut up and just go.” Tess says.

“Yes ma’am.” I say getting on my hands and knees to crawl thru the debris.

“Now what cowboy?” I ask when we reach a large beam blocking the door.

“Watch your heads.”

Huffing he grabs the wooden beam and with a grunt starts to lift it. Pushing down my shock I quickly go under it, it opening up into the other room.

“Hurry, go, go, go!” He says groans Tess and Ellie following me.

“Shit, sonof-.” Joel yells as the clutter over him starts to cave in.

“Joel!” I scream spinning around trying to see him.

“I’m alive.” He calls back coughing.

“I’ll make my way around you.”

“Look they're here!” Tess yells clicking noises coming from the hallway.

“Trish?” I hear Joel yell but I don’t have time to answer having to run from the infected chasing us.

I follow Ellie and Tess hoping Joel makes it out okay.

“Up here.” Tess says running up the steps.

“Go ahead I’ll catch up.” I tell her grabbing the bottle from my backpack.

“What are you doing?” She asks me glaring.

“Covering your ass now go.” I say hearing the infected climb the steps.

Lighting the rag I look over my shoulder at them standing at the top of the stairs.

“Go!” I yell throwing the bottle in front of me just as I see the first clicker.

I don’t look back as I hear them run away from me. I walk up the steps backwards shooting what infected get threw the flames alive when my gun clicks I have to resit the urge to throw it.

Spinning around I start running down the hall having no idea where anyone is but I couldn’t think about that. I had to get somewhere safe.

Hearing banging and pops of gun shots I follow the noise it leading to Joel and Tess fighting infected. When I hear Ellie scream I go into the next room a runner trying to bite her.

Knowing I was out of ammo I tackle it to the floor and stab it in the head.

“Holy shit Trish.” Ellie says as I stand up.

“You okay?” I ask her.

I gasp when Joel grabs my arm around roughly spins me to face him. “The hell was that?” He asks angry in his eyes and voice.

“I’m outta bullets.” I say jerking my arm out of his grip.

“You could have gotten infected.”

“I didn’t I’m fine.”

“Your gonna get your damn self killed one day.” He barks angry building up inside me.

“Well then you’ll be free of me won’t you be happy.” I snap back quickly spinning and walking away from him.

I climb out of the window onto the fire escape and head up to the roof it too far to drop down.

“You okay?” Joel asks behind me.

I don’t respond knowing he ain’t talking to me.

“Divine okay.” Ellie says.

“Are you still breathing?”

“Do small panic breaths count?” She asks walking onto the roof with me.

“Yeah they count.” I say looking at her.

“Alright. Well I’m okay.”

“There she is. That’s our building.” Tess says pointing at the capitol building.

“We’re closer.” I say looking at it the low in the sky.

It would be dark soon that wasn’t a good thing anywhere.

“We need a way over to that building.”

“Stand back.” Joel says walking up behind us.

I move out of the way him putting a long plank from one roof to the other.

“Because that’s safe…” I say looking over the edge.

I hold my hands up when Joel shoots me a glare a smile on my face. Ellie walks past me up to the side of the building.

“Watch your step as you’re going up because it’s gonna be a little-.”

“Pssh.” Ellie says cutting him off and walking across the plank.

I giggle following after her the bored creaking under my feet but I try not to think about it.

“Well is that everything you hoped for?” Joel asks walking up behind us.

I look up at him then out at the sun setting over the city buildings. The blue sky fading to purple and pink making the capital’s building roof more noticeable.

“Jury's still out.” Ellie says.

“But man… You can’t deny that view.”

“You got that right.” I say smiling at her.

“Come on this way.” Tess says walking towards the ladder.

“Don’t wanna stop and enjoy the moment Tess?” I ask not moving from standing next to Joel.

“No. We need to move.”

“Fine be that way.”

“You could get the stick out your ass and enjoy yourself for once.” I say throwing my leg over the side of the roof and starting to climb down.

My heart picking up at the feeling of thinking I was going to fall. The empty air behind me very real in my mind. The wobbling ladder not helping my nerves.

Once at the bottom I take a breath.

“You okay?” Ellie asks me.

“Oh I’m good. Just going down ladders or walking backwards makes me on edge for some reason.” I say as Tess and Joel join us on the ground.

“Right around this corner. C’mon.” Tess says gestering to the steps.

“After you.” I say waving her on.

“Are you guys always like this?” Ellie asks as we walk down the steps.

“I guess. It’s the way it’s always been. I was the last to the party we call our friendship. I guess I take some getting used to.”

“You said you knew them for five years.”

“Joel for five. Tess for three they got separated-.”

“Look at this.” Joel calls cutting me off.

I spin around to see him standing in the corner of the alley way we are standing in at the bottom of the stairs. A dead body at his feet.

“There's a firefly logo on his arm.” Ellie says.

“Man this people are dropping like flies.” I say grinning.

“What?” I ask when everyone turns to look at me but no one laughs.

“Was the joke that bad?”

“Trish as a point though. What if when we get there and they're all dead?”

“They won’t be.” Tess says as Joel finishes searching the body.

He stands up and hands me three throwing knives.

“Ooo toys thank you.” I say smiling up at him. My stomach flipping when his fingers brush mine.

He nods and walks away.

“How do you know that?”

“I just do.” Tess snaps earning a raised eyebrow from me.

She takes a breath and  turns towards the wall.

“It’s gonna be fine.” She says making me feel like she was saying it more to herself then Ellie.

“What are you doing?” I ask walking away from them watching Joel drag a dumpster.

He doesn't answer him pulling it to a locked gated I didn’t even know was there.

“Up and over.” He says climbing on top of it.

“First a tightrope now we get tetanus.” I say climbing up next to him.

He snorts and vaults over the gate.

“We risk our lives trying to get around stuff more than we do fighting the infected.”

“Well something's gotta keep you on your toes.”

“Yeah but-.” I vault over the gate Joel surprising me when he catches me on the other side.

One good thing about him being twice the size as me. My stomach flutters his fingers brushing over it as he balances me.

“But what?” He asks when he lets go.

“Nothing was just gonna say something about people should have cleaned up their crap.” I say waving him off as Tess drops down next to us followed by Ellie.

“Home stretch Tess.” Joel says as we start walking towards the capitol building it completely visible now.

“Yeah.” She says jogging to it.

“I don’t believe in cardio.” I say jogging behind Joel us coming to the marsh in front of the building.

The water deep enough to almost over a car.

“Um.. just so it’s out there I can’t swim.”

“It looks like it’s shallow on the right side follow me.” Tess says walking into the water.

“This is gonna be so nasty.” I say wadding into the swampy water.

“I was right.” I say holding my hands up it slimy and wet.

“Are you okay?” Joel asks looking at me us walking next to each other.

“The water is green. We are walking in Shrek’s backyard. Of course i’m not okay.”

“Who is Shrek?” Ellie asks.

“It was a movie about an ogre.”

“A what?”

“An ogre-.”

“You can tell her later.” Tess says as we reach the steps leading to the capitol building doors.

“I’m glad Marlene hired you guys.” Ellie says before I can reply.

“What do you mean?” Tess says.

“I know you guys are getting paid for this but- I’m trying to say thanks.”

“Aww you are so welcome.” I say smiling at her.

“Yeah sure thing.” Tess says us reaching the door no longer in water put still wet.

“Ah shit.” Joel says as he opens the door.

“No.” Tess says pushing past him to the dead men on the floor.

“What happens now?” Ellie asks Joel closing the door behind her.

“Take you back to Marlene I guess.” I say shrugging.

“What are you doing, Tess?” Joel asks walking up to her searching the bodies.

“Maybe they uh, maybe they had a map or something to tell us where they were going.” She says frantically patting them down.

“How far are we gonna take this?”

“As far as it needs to go.” She says looking up at him then at Ellie.

“Where was this lab of theirs?”

“She never said.” Ellie says shrugging.

“She only said it was some place out west.”

“Well that’s vague.”

“What are we doing here?” Joel asks.

“This is not us.”

“Oh, what do you know about us?” Tess snaps her standing up.

“About me? We, you haven't been the same since she showed up.” Tess says jerking her chin in my direction.

I hold my hands up and take a step back not wanting to fight.

“I know that you are smarter than this.” Joel says stepping to stand in front of her.

“Really? Guess what, were shitty people Joel it’s been that way for a long time.”

“No, we are survivors!”

“This is our chance.”

“It is over, Tess!” Joel yells making me jump and Tess shut up.

“We tried. Now let’s just go home.” He says sighing.

“I’m not… I’m not going anywhere.” Tess says.

“This is my last stop.” Her voice cracking.

“What?” I ask her turning away from us all.

“Out luck had to run out sooner or later.”

“What are you going on about?” Joel asks grabbing her arm her jerking away from him.

“No, don’t-. Don’t touch me.” She says taking a step away from him.

“Oh no…” I whisper the light bulb going off in my head.

“Holy shit.” Ellie says making Joel look over at us.

“She’s infected.”

I watch the blood leave Joel’s face him taking a step away from her.

“Joel…” Tess says softly.

“Let me see.” He says.

“I didn’t mean-.”

“Show it to me.” He demands.

I clench my fist my heart pounding. It stopping when she pulls the color of her shirt over a large angry red and pus bite on her collarbone.

“Oh, Christ.” Joel chokes out shock on his face.

“Oops right?” She asks as he takes another step back her hand falling to her side.

“Give me your arm.” She asks marching over to Ellie.

“This was three weeks.” She says after jerking Ellie’s sleeve up and pointing at the bite on her arm.

“I was bitten an hour ago and it’s already worse.” She says dragging Ellie with her to Joel.

“This is fucking real.”

“You've got to get this girl to Tommy’s.” She says talking about Joel’s brother.

“He used to run with this crew, he’ll know where to go.”

“No, no, no, that was your crusade.” Joel says pointing at her as he backs up.

“I am not doing that.”

“Yes you are. Look there is enough here that you have to feel some obligation to me. Despite everything that has happened. So you get her to Tommy’s.”

We all jump at the sound of a truck. I spin around to look at the doors.

“Shit!” Joel says as Tess runs to the door.

“They’re here.” She says pulling her gun out.

“Damnit.”

“I can buy you some time but you have  to run.” She says walking back over to us.

“What?” Ellie asks surprised.

“You want us to just leave you here?”

“Yes, she dose.” I say Tess looking up at me.

“I would want the same thing.”

“There is no way-.” Joel says answering me.

“I will not turn into one of those things.” She says cutting him off.

“Come on. Make this easy for me.” She begs.

“I can fight-”

“No.” I say it my turn to cut him off.

“We go she stays.” I say walking up to him and grabbing his forearm.

“We don’t have time to argue and I’m not about to lose two friends today.” I say meeting his eyes

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for this.” Ellie says.

“Ellie get a move on.” Joel says backing away from me and turning for the door.

Turning back to look at Tess I call her name.

“Go down swinging.” I say winking at her.

She takes a breath nodding she smiles turning away from me.

I do the same following Joel into the next room my gut full of bricks knowing nothing will ever be the same.

[xantchaslegacy]

MtG Month of the Ship Day 23 - Spies

(This is a sort of rambling spy-ish story for a couple that I never felt super-strong about. I did want to give Fonn and Jarad something nice, though, since they were important characters, and their family is now split apart for good, as far as I know)

It was supposed to be a simple job. Infiltrate the party. Find his way to the upper floors. Locate the target’s office. Plant the listening devices in discreet locations. Steal the documents. Leave.

Easy enough, assuming Jarad was the only special agent in the place during the operation.

He wasn’t.

“Hello Vod Savo. Enjoying your evening?”

Jarad froze. His hand was halfway behind a portrait in the host’s side hallway, planting a bug. He turned and found another elf watching him, hands on her hips. She was wearing a dark green pantsuit with a white bow tie, a grim smirk on her face.

“I was until a moment ago, Zunich. What are you doing here?”

The other elf snorted. “A better job at being inconspicuous, that’s what. I didn’t realize S.W.A.R.M. was still sending assassins after my client.”

“Always so presumptuous.” Jarad started to slip past Fonn, but she planted her palm against the wall by his head, caging him in.

“Am I wrong?” She was shorter than him, but her shoulders were broader and Jarad knew that she knew she could overpower him if he tried to make a break for it. “Last time I caught you snooping around a party you were trying to kill St. Bayul.” She also new very well that Jarad always carried a necrotic poison on his person for emergencies, yet she never gave any sign of being afraid of him. Always vexing, that.

“You are, as a matter of fact.”

She raised an eyebrow. “What then? Convince me, or the guards will have you out of here on your ass faster than you can say ‘Gorgon.’”

Jarad made a face of exaggerated exasperation. “Do you write all that inspired dialogue in your spare time? I guess it must be boring just standing around while you wait for old loxodons to need a tissue or whatever it is you do for them.”

“Answer the question.”

Jarad shot another glance down the hallway. Empty. He sighed.

Might as well. Fonn Zunich was a pain in his side, but she could keep a secret.

“Karlov is buying up the Mizidek lot downtown. S.W.A.R.M. needs that land to remain unincorporated. I need to find the bills of sale and sabotage-”

He cut off as one of the host’s guards rounded the corner. The next thing he knew Fonn had pulled him down into a rough kiss, her hands moving to cover the sides of his face. He dropped the poisoned needle in his hands out of shock.

“Oh, uh…excuse me.” The grey-skinned guard backed out of the hallway and ducked back into the ballroom. Fonn released Jarad’s face.

“What was that for?” he hissed. His heart was beating much faster than it should have. Much faster than he would have liked while trying to pull off a delicate operation.

“Relax, creepy-crawly. What do you think a guard will find more suspicious, two people arguing in a secluded hallway, or two drunk socialite’s having snuck away to get intimate?”

“I don’t see how one is better than the other,” Jarad muttered.

“This is better because now no one has seen your face yet.” Fonn reached into a vest pocket and produced a small gold mask. “Here, it’s a masquerade for goodness’ sake.”

Jarad scowled and produced his own mask. “Give me some credit.”

“A beetle? People will remember that. If I’m going to help you then you need to wear something less conspicuous. I’m here in an official capacity, remember?”

“Why are you helping me?”

“So many questions. Do you want my help or not?”

Jarad sighed. Might as well make use of an ally, inconvenient as they might be.

"Fine.” He started toward the ballroom. “What's the security situation inside?"

"Laughable. Most of the house guard are watching the roof, after that stunt Etrata pulled at the last ball. Down here it’s just the regular RCPD plainsclothes guards, plus that brunette from the tenth district precinct."

Jarad frowned. "Lavinia? She's thwarted three S.W.A.R.M. operations in the last month alone. She's no joke."

"She is when she's preoccupied with the evening entertainment." They stepped into the ballroom and Fonn pointed toward the stage. A lounge singer was slinking across the stage in a red and black evening gown, a decorative metal mask in the shape of a skull covering half her face. Sure enough, arrester Lavinia had found a table right by the stage, and was paying little to no attention to the rest of the party around her.

"That's lucky," Jarad muttered.

"Lucky or a competent guard got her hands on the security detail planned for tonight and made sure that the hosts hired a singer of her choice."

“Um…why?”

Fonn shrugged. “Bodyguarding is boring sometimes. I need entertainment too.” She nodded at the stairs leading to the next level, where most of the RCPD were standing around. “What’s your plan for the boys in red and white? I’m not even allowed, and my client’s up there.”

“Not much of a bodyguard then, are you?”

“Bayul’s still alive, isn’t he?”

“Sure. Watch this.” Jarad released a small spy drone from his sleeve. The small mechanical drone buzzed discreetly around the ballroom floor before coming to rest on the back of one of the server’s heads.

“Three, two, one, sting.”

The server yelped as a small metal spur jabbed into his ear. He turned to swat at the air behind him, and hit one of an ogre, one of the burlier guests. The guest shouted in outrage and swung a fist at the server. In seconds there was a small skirmish underway, and the RCPD were running down the stairs to intervene.

“Aggravated assault.” Jarad gave a small mock sigh. “Such a senseless act of violence.”

“Very slick.” Fonn flicked Jarad’s ear, and he felt a small chill run down his back. “Now let’s go.”

They mounted the stairs quickly, ducking around the room where the more distinguished guests were gathered, and slipped into the private wing of the mansion.

The door to the next flight of stairs was guarded by two more of the grey-skinned guards. Both bored-looking, and both seemingly unarmed.

“Hrm.” Jarad frowned. “I dropped my poison downstairs; that would’ve helped.”

“Your what?”

“It’s…not important. Let me think a minute.”

“No time. Give me your mask.” Fonn didn’t even wait for Jarad to reply, digging her hand into his tuxedo pocket and pulling out the golden thrull-face.

“What are you-”

Fonn slid on the mask and sprinted up the last flight of stairs. The guards snapped to attention, and one of them produced a small tazer. Fonn grabbed it out of his hand and chopped him across the neck. The other guard she kicked in the jaw, knocking him out cold before he even hit the ground.

Fonn pulled the mask off and raised an eyebrow at Jarad, and pulled the trigger of the tazer. Electricity crackled between the points.

“Pretty stunning, huh?”

“You’ve been practicing,” Jarad observed.

“Yeah, but…stunning, get it?”

“Yes, you’ve always been stunning.”

Fonn rolled her eyes yet again, but this time with a small blush. “Let’s go.”

“Wait.”

“What?”

“Tell me why you’re helping. I’m not going any further until you do.”

“Are you serious? Aren’t you supposed to be a professional spy?”

Jarad crossed his arms.

“Fine. St. Bayul’s trying to buy that land to build an orphanage, but Karlov is price-gouging him. If it reverts to unincorporated land…”

“Ah, the non-profit Selesnyans get the land for a bargain.”

“Bingo.”

Jarad uncrossed his arms. “The sisters won’t like that. They want the land for S.W.A.R.M.”

“Look, I know it’s not exactly in the spirit of your mission-”

“Then again, the sisters hired me to sabotage the Orzhov, not you.” Jarad shrugged. “If they want another favor they’ll have to pay me triple for it. I wish your elephant priest all the luck in the world.”

He caught the grin on Fonn’s face in the corner of his eye as he passed her, and allowed himself a small one of his own.

The rest of the way was quiet. They passed up one more staircase down two hallways, and started to round the final corner before the door to Karlov’s study-

"Damn."

Jarad put out a hand and waved Fonn back against the wall.

"What is it?"

"Guard drone."

Fonn peeked around the corner." Sure enough, a robotic sentry stood in front of the patriarch's office. A roving gun turret on legs.

"Damn," Fonn agreed, pressing back against the wall. Can you disable it?"

"Not from that far away. Not without my bow. I used all my bugs downstairs."

"We need a distraction. Something really unusual to grab its attent-"

"Excuse me!"

They both leapt back against the wall, Jarad pressing Fonn against it as he made a vague attempt to shield her from the guest who'd surprised them.

"Thank you!" A small, dark-skinned girl wearing a white dress and a coyboy hat skipped past them down the hallway, passing right in front of the guard. Several butterflies followed in her wake. The sentry turned its head as she passed, apparently perplexed as Jarad and Fonn were.

"Um, little miss?” The guard’s metallic voice was surprisingly soft. “You can't...oh good grief."

The little girl had already disappeared down another hallway. The sentry started off after her, buzzing irritably.

"Huh." Fonn leaned out from behind the corner. "Well, that was...lucky."

“Indeed.”

“Um…”

Jarad realized, belatedly, that he still had his hand on Fonn’s shoulder. He whipped it away quickly.

“Saved you again, Zunich.”

They approached the door and examined the keypad next to it.

"Hm. Too reliant by far on his guards." Jarad reached into his pocket. "This will be a piece of cake." He withdrew his last bug and placed it over the keypad. The bug chirped and clicked for several seconds.

The keypad beeped, and the door slid open.

"Nice job, crawler." Fonn thumped him on the back. "Let's make this quick."

They stepped into the study. It was a surprisingly small space, but comfortable, full of red velvet with grey and gold trimming. In the middle was a large mahogany desk, and right behind it…

“Good evening.”

A woman, dressed in black and gold, with a cane in one hand and a small, hairless cat in her lap.

Jarad drew a knife, and Fonn pulled a gun out from under her vest.

“Ah, ah.” The woman lay the tip of her cane on a red button at the edge of the desk. “One press and a houseful of guards descends on this room. I believe it’s only polite for guests to introduce themselves.”

Fonn and Jarad exchanged looks.

“No? Well I’m Teysa Karlov, and I must say,” She turned the computer on the desk around with one hand. “You’ve been the highlights of the evening. My uncle’s parties are never this good.”

The screen showed several video camera feeds of the house. The ballroom brawl, only just getting under control. The VIP guests, watching from the balcony. The two guards unconscious by the doors.

“Um, we can explain.” Fonn had gone pale. “You see-”

“St. Bayul and his guard dog had nothing to do with this,” Jarad cut in. “I threatened to kill him if she didn’t come along and aid me.”

A bit of color returned to Fonn’s face.

“Ooooh, you two are cute.” Teysa spun the screen back around. “No worries, I’ve deleted everything with either of you on it. Nothing traces back to you. I don’t care about Karlov nearly enough to turn snitch for him.”

“So…” Jarad lowered the knife an inch. “You aren’t going to stop us?”

"Oh, goodness no. Please, steal whatever you like. Serves the old lecher right." Teysa tapped the safe next to her with her cane. "Maybe take some of his cash while you're at it. Treat each other to a nice meal or something and talk over whatever...well whatever this is." She waved the cane between the two of them.

"Wh-what?" Jarad looked at Fonn. Their eyes met and they both looked away quickly. "What do you mean? We don't even work together usually, this was just a one-time thing."

Teysa rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say.” She tapped the screen. “Though I wasn’t aware bodyguards and spies got so touchy-feely just for fun.” She stood and started out the door, side-eyeing the both of them in turn. “You’ve got about three minutes. You never saw me here.”

The door click-ed shut behind her, leaving them both flustered and avoiding each other’s eyes.

“W-well, it was nice to see you doing something good with your skills for once!” Fonn directed the comment at a paperweight on the desk.

“Yes, well…let me actually do the deed first.” Jarad stared determinedly at the papers, identifying the ones he needed to snatch. “And…um, full disclosure, there was going to be another attempt on Bayul’s life. But, um…well I convinced the sisters to call it off. For good.”

“What? I mean…thank you, but…why?”

“I knew you’d never let me do it without a fight, and…um…well, naturally I didn’t want to embarrass you in a fight again.”

Fonn laughed and shoved him. “As if. Get your papers spy boy, I’m going to grab some cash.”

“Not very charitable of you, selesnyan.”

“It’s for an orphanage,” She shot back. “And for dinner. I think you do owe me a meal after all.”

 The above is unofficial Fan Content permitted under the Fan Content Policy. Not approved/endorsed by Wizards. Portions of the materials used are property of Wizards of the Coast. ©Wizards of the Coast LLC.

[nochiquinn]

campaign 2 episode 53: I’m not late you’re early

(my roommate dragged me out of my show to talk about rps and fics for two hours so I caught the rebroadcast instead) (thank you for doing the rebroadcast critical role twitch channel)

me, poking at the D&D Beyond overlay: caduceus has vampiric touch?? my roommate, drunk from being at work for 14 hours: YOU GOT THE TOUCH

WOOF WOOF

have I mentioned that I super love how taliesin is wearing his hair lately

bc I super do

"maybe you can drink out of its ass at the next live show" out-of-context gold

"and alive"

I love talisen's laugh, I can't think of a word to describe it other than "squelch" but it's somehow still wonderful

matt trolling travis is what I'm here for

"travis." ".....oh, -shit-"

"wet dreams~"

they're gonna end up having to murder an eldritch god for fjord

"everyone's gonna take care of you. it's gonna be alright." I love this firbolg

travis is gonna die

cad in the corner with the mom look

all my stress dreams involve teeth

"caleb widogast is my name" "that's actually not your name"

as liam valiantly fights a spittake

caleb pleads the fifth

"I'll fjord you later for that" "you will NOT"

hit that rewind button

taliesin died

"holla" is going to be a thing now isn't it

you don't have to use the whole message JESTER

AUGH just leave him on "are you still coming" you MONSTERS

"straight fjord" oxymoron

I miss vex's old lady disguise with the crazy eye

guano hoarder

"I wanna feel the thunder between my legs" travis

can't wait for everyone to lose one or more limbs

big kitty

"I'm doctor doolittle motherfucker"

twitch chat: cadoolittle

the magic of meow mix

now I'm waiting for them to get a keep (or similar) and these three giant cats stalk around outside it

"just like red dead" hopefully the cats handle better than the horses in red dead

HA managed to come back on the rebroadcast almost exactly where I left off last night

(my roommate dragged me away to talk about RP and fic for two hours) (it was a good time it just also made me miss the rest of critrole)

I don't have the overlay on the replay but I distinctly remember seeing Jester's deathsave counter pop up

(I also remember "I bet she's five kobolds in a trenchcoat" and "fight club FIGHT CLUB" from discord and twitch chat) (I'm very concerned)

"critters" oh no

isn't yonic like phallic but for vaginas

I want to meet Cad's sister so bad

"timauk and eud make things" "sounds like an etsy shop" it absolutely does

"are you hitting on the ivy" oh no my merle highchurch ptsd

"I eat plants" "PFFFFFFT"

"I have a BIG HEAD...and tiny arms"

"I don't like iiiiiiit" "I love her sO MUCH" there are two kinds of people (and they're married to each other)

"not souls or faces?" "are you offering?"

"sadly he has neither" travis: 

"legends of vox machina: 100% free of tiny hands" "YOU CAN'T GUARANTEE THAT LIAM"

two mimosas

travis is gonna die

"how do you sustain yourself?" "I have my ways" fjord: 

"kill this biiiitch"

FIVE KOBOLDS IN A TRENCHCOAT

the last time they went in a house and the floor was covered in blood it ended with percy getting shot to death JUST SAYING

does laura have a razorblade on the end of her pencil

"you know when I'm gonna murder everyone? in about five minutes if we don't fucKING EAT"

so THAT'S why his hp inexplicably dropped on the overlay

beau is going to try to make friends with an ogre and I'm going to secondhand embarrassment myself to death

laura's face is my face

caleb hiding from beau's imminent bar fight

even during the rebroadcast I have to deal with the child in the middle

POTION DICE man I want one of those. matt open an etsy shop.

drunk fjord sounds upsettingly like arthur morgan

"you're gonna get your asses kicked, you didn't eat" I love cadmom

travis calm thyself

marisha has forgotten how chairs work

(I showed my roommate this last night as a demonstration of my Stress Level System)

did matt build a monk entirely to get marisha back for all the stunning strikes

"GROVEL AT MY FEET, SCUM" I love jester so much

travis: ohhh, hot

jester down, jester down

I just realized this is basically beau from the opening

RKO OUTTA NOWHERE

"such an invaluable lesson to be learned here" I love cadmom

did nott just pull let's you and him fight

my brain refuses to hear "more than meats the eye" without doing the transformers jingle

"rolled perception so low he left the campaign"

"I mean you can watch, does that make you uncomfortable" look I don't overly ship beaujester but also

you ever have that teacher who disguises herself so she can kick the shit out of you in a fight pit

[courtorderedcake]

RIPTIDE 2/13

An Enchanted Forest AU where the dark one was never released into the world in a vessel, thus causing a massive shift in timelines. The ogre wars have ravaged kingdoms, untold destruction spanning continents, rulers displaced. Even as the wars sputter to ash, the safest place to be is at sea, and that’s not very safe at all - as Emma and Killian find out, fates intertwined against all odds.

Rated: E/X - heavy content : warnings of assault, rape, noncon, just everything, I feel like the rating says enough. It’s something.

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS TRIGGERING CONTENT. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

Read on Ao3 HERE .

Chapter II : Mist

There are things of which I may not speak; There are dreams that cannot die; There are thoughts that make the strong heart weak, And bring a pallor into the cheek, And a mist before the eye. -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

When Zelena summoned her to her chambers, Emma was sure she’d been discovered. It had been months since Walsh had forced her into illicit nights of his mouth on hers, and his hands groping ever farther into territory she wished lay unexplored. She knew the consequences if Zelena found out, but Granny’s life lay in her hands. She was the closest thing to a mother she’d ever known.

“Emma. I’ve been watching you, you know.” Zelena sat in the small space of her quarters in a plush emerald chair, upholstered in shimmering velvet and lined in golden embroidery. The cabin was narrow with a small window, filled with the chair, candles that were lit haphazardly, a canopied bed that was built into what might have previously been a small closet, a bookshelf, a cedar chest, and a small table covered in bottles. The door closed behind her, and Emma gulped.

“Yes.”

“I’ve noticed what you think you’ve been hiding from everyone.” Zelena smiled deviously, steepling her fingers. The hair on the nape of Emma’s hair stood on end. “Did you really think you could keep it a secret?”

Emma stared into the crimson haired woman’s eyes. “I don’t know-”

”You should embrace it, like I have. It’s a gift, no matter what weak minded fools say.” Zelena made a dismissive motion towards the door, her mouth curling into a sneer. “Magic is nothing to hide.”

”Magic?” Emma let out a breath of relief, her face contorting in confusion. “What are you talking about, magic?”

It was Zelena’s turn to be confused. She blinked several times, her face falling into a confused and astonished expression. “Emma, my pet, your magic. It radiates off you. Honestly- how could you not notice?”

Emma’s heart began to race. “I haven’t ever… I mean, I don’t have-”

”You healed Snow when she fell from the rigging months back. A fall like that should have broken her back.”

“That was luck, she slowed herself by catching some rope.” Zelena shook her head.

“You’ve conjured sunlight during gray days, and when you sing, dolphins and mermaids come near.”

“Mermaids are always seeking pirates to lure to the grave. And dolphins, well…” She swallowed hard. “They think we’ll throw out fish.” The candles in the room seemed to dim.

“Even right now, you’re messing with the candle light. You could be a more powerful sorceress than me even, with the right training.” Zelena’s eyes seemed to grow greener, glittering like a cat who caught the canary.

“No, I believe you are mistaken. Those are all just coincidences. I don’t even know the first thing abou-”

Zelena shot a bolt of green fire at her, and she flinched, smelling the sulfuric flame that she was sure she’d feel licking her with its acid tongue of pain soon. Her hands warmed, but nothing bit her with a burning sting. She peeked one eye open. The flame rested before her, held by a white light flooding from her palms, flickering in the cabin. All the candles were out, the green light coming from Zelena casting an unearthly shadow over everything, tinging the space emerald. Zelena’s face was a sly smile.

“When would you like to begin your lessons, my darling pet?”

  Between magic lessons, her kitchen duties, and Walsh’s continued violations, Emma was growing exhausted. It didn’t go unnoticed by anyone, with the crew more sympathetic than her teacher, who in turn was much more sympathetic than the rank man in back of her.

Walsh pawed her naked breast, grunting with the other hand in his pants, rutting against her ass. She was used to his usual crassness, but he’d been pushing for more of late, seeking to take her as a woman and man joined. Emma had known for years she most likely would never be a woman who was able to save herself for marriage, but she had hoped she’d at least find someone who made her feel something other than revulsion.

A few women on the ship sought female company after unpleasant experiences like her own. Fewer still sought out the occasional male companion or consort, which generally were more common in the uncharted shores or more exotic and inhibited locales. Zelena did not like such places because they didn’t have the finer luxuries she was accustomed to.

And oh was Zelena ever accustomed to fineries, Emma was finding. Zelena has started her off with mapping and studying where various herbs could be found, along with other sundries, talismans, magickal items, and rare stones or gems. Then she’d had her chart merchant courses to create a route that would keep her coffers and apothecary cabinet stocked, and set Emma up with a book making her various unguents and potions for beauty.

Emma had proved to be moderately skilled, Zelena overjoyed and tasking her with studying more arcane magic. The magic was mostly enchanting swords, creating poisons to wipe on blades, bewitching objects, or summoning the elements to do your bidding. Emma found it easy, and spellcraft or elemental magic easier yet. After weeks of practice, she could create a flaming sword, heal small wounds, or conjure a bright burning light in one hand while a rapier was held in the other.

When Emma had found an aging Bradshaw through word of mouth, dragging his sorry hide on board per Zelena’s request for a man to test poisons on, Emma felt a delight that was almost sisterly. Killing Bradshaw with a painful combination of poisons while spittle ran into his graying beard was not quite just desserts. Emma would have given anything to have poisoned the slaver at his prime, when he had whittled away her skin for a laugh. Zelena was beyond impressed at Emma’s aptitude for cruelty and creating poison blends that caused torment. The next morning, Zelena demoted Walsh with a smirk, promoting Emma to First Mate instead. Emma would swear the woman gave her a motherly look, the unease of her company fading.

Eventually Zelena demoted Walsh, no one particularly shocked other than him, his last line of superiority disappearing. To complicate matters, Zelena had praised Emma, stating she was the most skilled in battle and hinted at making her his replacement. Meri had at first been icy, but even she couldn't stay mad for long when watching Walsh sulk was such a delight. Zelena made it very clear what his purpose was on her ship, her personal dandy to keep her satisfied until someone else could fulfill her needs. A toy, a wind up monkey, clattering around for her entertainment only. His anger was palpable on deck every time she called for him. Emma would feel bad if it wasn’t so ironic. Walsh, caught in the same net he cast for her.

Zelena began to trust Emma with more self study but never anything that could truly threaten her own skill. She was a narcissist, but a realist first and foremost. A threat was a threat, and as someone who coveted her possessions, Zelena kept them close to her chest. Or so she thought.

The first thing to escape her, whether in obliviousness or arrogance, was Walsh seeking Emma’s companionship every morning, and Zelena’s bed chambers every night that she summoned him. She was an insanely envious woman, and Walsh had caused a few women to meet her fury by trying to sneak a poke in at brothels under her nose. Emma suspected Zelena didn’t think anyone on the Oz would dare. Truly, Emma wished she could stop the entire disgusting ritual, but Walsh had been prepared.

“This is going to continue as long as it suits my needs,” he’d said as he forced himself into her mouth. “And if you say anything, to anyone, I will make sure that everyone on this ship thinks you initiated it, as well as killing your grandma myself.”

She hated the taste of him, but she hated knowing how easy it would be for him to convince Zelena that she was the instigator. He’d fallen out of favor with Zelena, and she was quick now to call him on his incompetence while using him for her other needs. Instead, after a bloody battle that left Emma breathless from the use of both her magic and blade, Zelena had praised her in front of the crew while chastising Walsh’s failure to do much more than cower.

As it stood, Zelena had just let Emma gain her trust. That trust factored into the second thing Zelena failed to notice - something even Emma barely noticed herself, at first.

Emma realized it slowly, practicing her craft at night and feeling her magic pulse all through the ship like tendrils or veins. She could feel the ocean and its currents, deep into dark waters, the night air and starlight - elements being broken down further and further until everything was light or dark or electric or an unexplainable force. She could feel that force in everything, moving in and out like the breath of some great invisible beast.

And Emma could reach a finger to touch it, if she just pushed, pushed -

A great pair of yellow eyes stared at her, unblinking, the pupil widening and shrinking as it came to focus on her being. At first they stared at each other, and each felt the other. A light and a darkness, one small and one large, one so very young, one ancient but not yet wise. She felt its curiosity as well as her own before she lost hold of the thread, falling back into her body.

She’d woken up sweating to a ruckus on deck. Throwing on her clothes, she joined a small handful of the crew, including Zelena, who were watching the sun come up and join the moon in the sky at an unnatural pace, blinding them and bleaching the night sky in its radiance before dipping back below the horizon again.

“An omen,” Zelena had said, quietly.

“Of what? When has the sun ever chased a still moon, and then raced forward before stopping? What kind of omen is that?” Emma asked, shivering slightly in the now chill air of the returned night.

“A great power has manifested itself. That’s an ancient spell that even I can’t do. It’s in a relic of mine somewhere. Starsphere manipulation, or something.” She yawned, and stretched. “I’m going back to bed. Since all of you are up, you can begin your day early.”

Emma sighed, and returned to the bunks to get dressed for the day. She blinked when she saw the book she’d been reading the night before by candlelight, realizing the cover was well worn and not the book that she thought she’d been studying. Looking at the text of the cover, she couldn’t help the chill that ran up her spine, excitement thumping in her heart like cannon fire.

“SpellKrafte of the Starspheres”.

  Their latest haul had been a success, a ship taken down and heavy pockets for every one of the crew. Emma had run several men through, including the captain who had tried to shoot her with a shoddy pistol, unable to get off the shot before her sword cut through him like a ribbon. She’d smiled into his face, letting him know that her angel looks held back a demon’s blood lust. In the hold, they’d found wine, cheese, fresh fruits, vegetables, spices, and tea; and Zelena was happy to announce the coffers were full again with the gold and jewelry they looted. There were no survivors this time, simply blood, bodies and fire offered to the sea when they had finished stripping the ship. David, Snow, and Emma watched it sink into the black water, a gift happily given for another day of plunder.

When the ship had sank into the sea, Zelena gave orders quickly before going to her ledgers, and Emma took up for her in her absence. She knew everyone but Walsh was pleased that she was now First Mate, her ease and fair hands left little need for the punishments once doled out by Zelena. David maintained the weapons easily, teaching new crew members when Emma or Snow could not, and Meri, along with Fa, had made navigation a breeze. The new worlds were not so new with their residents among them.

Walsh had taken to punishing Emma for his demotion with his body, pulling her aside in the mornings when she woke to help Granny. His needs had gotten lewder and much rougher, and she found herself escaping into thoughts of her duties as he spent himself. It never lasted long, for which she was grateful; he had given up seeking anything but his own pleasure. She’d open her mouth, let him pull down her trousers or hike up her skirts, and pretended she wasn’t thinking of unfurling sails or making sure the gunpowder casks were dry.

If he thought she was bored, he’d give her a heavy handed smack which caused an annoying bruise she’d have to hide, so she tried to show slight interest in his grunts. He’d spill himself down her throat, on the floor of the store room, or more frustratingly in her skirts, hair, or on her breasts. She hated the sticky feeling of him on her skin as it were, but it was better this than letting him fill her - that was the worst. The apothecaries in a few port towns carried several potent herbs that when mixed just right, created a tincture that prevented becoming with child. Although she used it religiously, the risk of carrying some bastard scared her.

Emma never wanted children, and the idea of bringing a child into this world that had hurt her so badly made her skin crawl. Her hands were covered in the blood of men, death an old friend she helped to feed. A child did not belong in this world. She had, at many times, hidden herself for just a few moments, assuring herself that nothing would happen, nothing could happen, the fear too much to bear in an open space. Walsh would occasionally use that fear, talking about forcing her to marry and stay on shore, and on those days, her anger was palpable while frustration at her situation boiled over.

One of the ways she let off her frustration at the arrangement with Walsh was seeking out companions in port towns, finding dandies, the rare male escort, or a woman of the night. Nothing was truly satisfying, and she hated watching someone try and pretend they were enjoying something they weren’t. Even when slightly enjoyable, there was never any reason to go back or any connection.

They made port that night with coin to spend, and Emma made her way into one of the disreputable taverns where she knew trouble would not find her. Sinking into a chair, she drank heartily and let the conversations flow over her, the different crews shouting and jostling each other, many different songs from different lands weaving together into a comforting lull. Walsh had been rougher this morning; drinking helped her forget a hard day’s work on top of the bruises on her hips.

As some men were lured away by women to drop trousers and coin, one of the older patrons began playing away on an accordion to a familiar sea shanty, the liveliness thrumming in the crowd as more voices joined in. One of the bartenders pulled out a fiddle, and the place came alive with drunken singing and dancing. For a moment, Emma let herself smile into her tankard as she drank the spiced ale, enjoying the way her head spun.

When two uniformed officers crossed her line of vision, the smile disappeared. She could feel the tension settle for a moment, before the taller of the two spoke up.

“A round on me, and my little brother. Tomorrow we leave, and tonight you have the finest ale.” His shout was met with a hearty cry of appreciation from the sailors inside, and the music started up again, louder than before. The shorter brother, still wearing his hat, approached the bar near where she sat. She could hear the coins clink behind her.

A tankard appeared to her left, placed down by the younger brother. Following the arm, she looked up into blue eyes, lit with amusement. “Here you go lass.” She blinked at him, watching trays of ale go around to the other tables.

“A toast!” said the taller brother of the two, shouting again. “To fair seas, and fair weather, as far as the horizon goes!” Glasses clinked, and Emma raised hers halfheartedly. Throwing back the remnants of her first ale, she started on the second. The younger brother still hadn’t moved and was too close for her liking.

“Another toast.” Emma bristled. “To better lives, and futures.” he said, and she tried to make it clear she wasn’t interested in company.

Emma snorted. “Sure, mate.”

“Have a little hope darling.” A chair scraped and he was sitting beside her. “You never know what the future holds.”

She stared at him, seeing the glint of hope in his eyes, and felt pity rise in her stomach. He couldn’t be much older than her, but she knew so much better of waiting for brighter futures. She wanted to scream at him, tell him she had seen what his king sent men to their deaths for; that in ports all over the world, there were men that were once like him. Men that were now broken husks, full of loss.

Instead, she whispered curses softly under her breath.

“What was that lass?”

She smiled sadly. “I said, I wish you good luck, Lieutenant.” she lifted her tankard.

He smiled brightly, tapping her tankard with his. Quickly, Emma drank the rest of her ale before pulling out her chair and leaving through the open door. The night air felt good, crisp and cleansing on her face, and the moon was high in the sky, leaving plenty of light to guide her down the street. She hadn’t realized how much she had drank, her cheeks felt warmed. At this point, holding her liquor and keeping her footing were never problems unless something very strong was involved, even if she felt a little dizzy.

“Hey, hey wait-” he called out to her, and Emma turned around to appraise him. He swayed slightly, and she sighed. Not used to holding his drink yet either. Burying any emotion, she composed herself before he approached. The last thing she wanted tonight was this poor boy trying to keelhaul her; he’d lose a hand and she’d get a lashing from Captain Zelena.

“Yes?” she asked, letting the bite of irritability shine through.

“I know this isn’t good form, but I-” He stepped towards her and she could see under starlight that he’d lost his hat, his jet black hair falling out of his pulled back style. “I wanted to ask you if you’d give me a kiss for good luck.”

Emma sighed. Sailor superstition was rife, but this was ridiculous.

“You don’t want a kiss from me, mate. I’m cursed. You’ve better luck finding a toad to press your lips against.” She turned away again, and he gripped her wrist.

“I may have better luck with the toad, but I’ve asked you.” He looked down at her through dark lashes and she felt flush color her cheeks and ears. “You're beautiful, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.” He flushed, nervously scratching behind his ear. “I may have had too much to drink, and I’m usually not this forward, but I mean it. You’re stunning.” His words were sincere, ringing completely genuine. Something inside her stomach flipped, causing the bite in the night air to lose its teeth completely.

“Fine, Lieutenant.” She pressed her lips against his, and he pressed back. She’d kissed other sailors, men with chapped lips and stubble, but this was velvet soft, while his tongue asked for entry without demand. He turned his head to deepen it and she obliged, her skin licked with heat. She should have ended this instantly, but he tasted like honey, mint, ale, salt of the sea, and a rich headiness that made her dizzy. He groaned into her, and she bit his lip to illicit another. He pushed her back against a building or a wall, she couldn’t tell; she was breathless and a knee was between her legs.

Hadn’t he mentioned good form? Emma didn't care.

He seemed unsure as she rocked her aching core against his leg. Nothing ever felt like this with Walsh or any other man for that matter- there was never this hunger, the fire burning and wrapping her in a tingling blanket of sensation. She wanted more, eyes widening as she let out a moan into his ear, his fingers wrapping around her waist, his other hand stroking the neckline of her corset.

She reached a hand to his buckle, undoing the ridiculously shiny thing, and pushed down the front of his pants. In the lower streets here, it was common to see lovers, paid or otherwise, enjoying each other’s bodies.

“Here? In the street? I can’t; I don’t do this. We can’t,” he hissed, his voice hoarse. She nodded, tugging on his length, unsure of what had come over her. “We - we shouldn’t.” She licked her palm and continued, and he rutted into her hand. “We should go back and get a room,” he moaned the last word, as she twisted up and down his cock. “Oh, Gods, damn it it all!” His hands pulled down her corset, and he sucked hard on a nipple, plucking at the other. Emma felt like she was being lit, like a gun filled with powder ready to fire.

Was this what the whores in the brothel felt when they wailed into the night? What other sprawled bodies in other shadowed alleys moaned about while people looked away? Hot breath in the crook of their neck, a warm tongue laving their collar bone, a coil that tightened when his fingers found her wet and aching? Oh, his fingers!

He curled them in her, whispering how wonderful she’d feel around him, how she probably tasted like heaven. He found a sensitive spot, and she ground down on his hand. His fingers left her and she whimpered, wishing he would keep that sweet pressure on her. He instead stroked his shaft with his wet fingers and slowly, reverently, sheathed himself.

Her body trembled, and they held each other forehead to forehead for a small time. This wasn’t just sex. This was making love, or rather with the love absent, fucking for pleasure. Walsh was sex, and nothing more; this dark haired lieutenant was a push to lunacy; his body pressed into hers so tightly with the brick biting her back, his first movements making them both moan lowly.

His eyes were blown out, as she pushed his hair out of his eyes, feeling the beginning of something low in her belly rising like the breath you search for as you drown. They found a rhythm, rocking with each other sloppily. She let out a laugh that he mirrored with a grin when they fumbled for a moment and she almost slipped. He dug into her deeper, making her toes curl, her noises becoming needy pants on his shoulder as she dug her nails in his back.

“There! Fuck, yes, there!” she moaned. The new angle had him gripping her hips, sinking her body on his with groans of pleasure. The drag of him inside, hitting spots in her that had been so neglected, had that coil in her belly tight once again. Everything was taut, tense and waiting, waiting to feel something she’d been chasing for so long. She’d never gotten this close before. She felt like one of the moths that circled lanterns at night so close to heat.

”That’s it lass, come for me,” he groaned, moving faster, and the pleasure she felt had her writhing. It was euphoric, and then it was more; starlight ran in her veins, pumping through her heart to shoot back to her fingers and toes. She felt her body tighten and spasm as she cried out into his neck. He whispered into her ear how beautiful she was, sweet things that had her eyes feeling glassy, kissing her and keeping her on a sword’s edge that caused her thighs to quiver. It continued as he took, burying himself as deep as he could into her body, letting out a shuddering moan as he pulsed.

They panted into each other’s shoulders, tightly gripping each other. She snuggled into his embrace, her skirts shifting, and his cock softening. He kissed her temple as she adjusted herself with a shy smile. In this moment, drunk and soft, body sated and held tight, she let herself be vulnerable. Hazy thoughts of blue eyes, dark hair, reddened lips, and the golden buttons of his uniform that pressed into her skin broke down long standing walls. If she believed in fate, this moment would be destiny.

“See. You never know what the future holds,” he whispered into her ear, tucking back a blonde strand of hair. He let her down carefully, pulling himself from her and tucking himself back into his trousers. He helped her pull up her corset to her surprise, and pressed soft kisses to her neck. 

“You shouldn’t go.” It crept out of her lips before she could stop it. He blinked slowly like waking from a dream.

“Shouldn’t go? Where?”

Her voice was a harsh whisper. If she could save one person from the hell of dying for the King’s greed, she’d try. Especially this man, so young and full of life, who believed in good form and telling her she was beautiful.

“You shouldn’t go to whatever hellscape the king is sending you to. He only sends men to their death. It’s not my place, but please -” His hand covered her mouth, and the moment was broken. A cloud covered the moon, darkness falling over them.

“What you say is treason,” he hissed, slowly releasing her and moving back a step. She shook herself, walls coming back up with no effort, meeting his eyes. “You shouldn’t say such things.”

“Do not trust your king. You’ll die if you listen to his lies. ” She watched his face harden with resolve.

“You know nothing about me, our king, or our mission.” His eyes darkened like the sky above. “We seek to end the last encampments of ogres. We’ll be saving people and children that these foul creatures kill. We will be heroes and free men!”

Emma was about to speak, to tell him about real freedom, but a voice broke the silence.

“Brother!” Someone was shouting, and he pulled away to look. “There is ale still to be drank and the night is young!” Her heart hammered in her chest, and she steadied herself. The spell was shattered, and not every man could be saved. Even this one that quickened the beat of her heart insistently. Pulling her cloak up over her head, she moved from him, pushing him aside. To her surprise, he moved to catch her arm, his footfalls behind her. They broke into a run through the town’s smoky corridors.

“Wait!” he called after her, but she knew her way through the alleys and back streets, twisting until she was back in front of The Emerald Envy of Oz. She made her way to the gangplank.

David stared at her coldly. He earned his nickname, Charming, by his expressionless face in battle and his quiet demeanor that hid a sharp tongue. She nodded at him in greeting, straightening her skirted breeches and corset under her cloak. David cocked an eyebrow, and she blushed red in only the way a sibling can embarrass you and make you angry at the same time.

“It’s not what it looks like.” She stomped up the gangplank.

David grunted. “It never is.”

“Some Navy fool shipping off tomorrow for his first bloodbath wanted a kiss.” She threw herself down on a crate, folding her arms.

Another grunt, and a snorted laugh. “So he won’t be making it to see the waters, dear sister?”

She grinned salaciously. “He’ll live, for tonight, at least. And he’s in much better spirits. I gave him a bit more than a kiss to comfort him when he dies for his King.” She winked, and watched her brother’s body stiffen, ears beginning to flush.

His eyes narrowed, and he shook his head. “Things I didn’t and never want to know. Disgusting. Hopefully he dies, so I don’t have to slit his throat instead.”

Looking out over the waves, she sighed suddenly defeated. “He will. If he survives, he’ll wish he was dead.”

Her brother came to sit next to her, and placed a hand on her shoulder. They sat together listening to the waves until the stars began to fade, letting words that were unnecessary between them go unspoken.

  The smell of gunpowder was acrid in her nostrils as Emma boarded the small merchant ship, landing with a thud. She pulled out her rapier and lit a fireball in her other hand that glowed with an unearthly shimmer of white light. The man before her looked horrified, and his knees shook as he fumbled to pull his own sword. He never got the chance, her rapier making quick work and spattering blood as she moved through the crew with little difficulty.

A sword nicked her shoulder, held by a portly man who sneered at her. “Witch! You pirate witch, I’ll see you hanged like the filth you are!”

Emma felt her shoulder throb, her magic pulsing in time with the pain. It flickered, and she tried to focus on parrying the saber this man kept slamming down towards her. She gritted her teeth, trying to hit this man with a blast that would knock him from her and give her some distance. Her magic wouldn’t comply, though. She tried healing her shoulder and ended up searing the wound.

“Emma! Get it together!” Zelena shouted, her own sword clanging as she took on a fight of her own.

The portly man slammed down over and over on her rapier, his saber blade much heavier, and Emma saw the strike coming in slow motion. She put both hands up, reaching deep and let go, her magic uncontrolled and wild. The man was blasted back, hitting a broken piece of wood with a wet smack. To her horror, her uncontrolled blast had also thrown a few of her crewmates.

She ran to help them as part of the merchant crew launched a boat with as much as they could carry. Zelena screamed orders, but with no dinghy to give chase immediately and both ships locked together, it was fruitless. When the rest of the merchant crew was dead, Zelena grabbed Emma by the hair and dragged her below deck.

“What was that? Control your magic! You could have killed us, and our haul would be cut because of your pure incompetence!” Zelena was livid, eyes shining. “You will be training with me at night as well as every afternoon, until you can wield your magic with pinpoint accuracy through any type of pain or distraction.”

Emma could only gulp and nod, Zelena’s rage practically turning her green.

The members of the merchant crew that escaped turned out to be a blessing in disguise, however.

Word spread of a female run ship sailing the sea with no quarter. One that had a witch with magic white as swan wings, an archer that could shoot a single snowflake, a quiet swordsman who didn’t mince his charming words, and a crazed captain that would spill anyone’s blood to get her pretty things.

  News spread quickly, like wildfire through dry wood or a storm over rough seas.

It wasn’t a fortnight gone when they noticed the dot on the horizon, a fast moving ship in full regalia seeking nothing other than to end the threat posed. A navy frigate. Meri had spotted it while whittling a wooden bear in the crow’s nest whistling down to Fa. She and Fa seemed to share a code made of looks and small signals, practically reading each other’s minds. Emma wondered often if they had taken each other as sapphics, or common wives, but never cared to ask.

Emma still helped Granny in the morning, met with Walsh to her growing disdain and frustration, trained with Zelena, tended to her duties, kept the books and logged their goods, trained again with Zelena, did final nightly inspection, and then collapsed in bed for a few hours of sleep. The practice had Emma lit like a candle at both ends, unable to stop the flow of magic through her body. Her body felt worn, and magic crackled in her fingertips every morning as she chopped vegetables and fruits or kneaded dough.

Granny had taken to needing more help, to the point that David had started helping her clean up at night, occasionally with Snow keeping him company. Watching her brother bonding with someone else was a highlight for Emma. She loved to hear his low laughter as Snow talked to him, her legs swinging from her seat on the counter while she ate an apple.

Granny knew that she was struggling as well, and begged Emma to push Zelena to pick up her granddaughter who could help and fight as well - but Zelena wasn’t receptive to anything but fighting off the coming assault.

Several mornings to Emma’s delight, either her magic or the smell of onions on her skin had warded Walsh from some of his fouler acts. He’d also been less rough, and she held out hope that he was finally growing bored of her and her disinterest. As long as he had Zelena to stick his cock in and stay in her favor, he still got his special privileges. Emma did dread him ever saying anything about these forced trysts, and knew that if they did end, she could be in danger of blackmail or worse.

Zelena was unaware of anything but the coming battle. The fear consumed her, and she studied the Navy ship’s pattern as well as books on its form. It would have at least sixty guns, a large crew full of experienced forces, and have a sturdy build for defensive maneuvers. She’d laid out what spells she’d need, and Emma and her worked non-stop to make a working defense.

The first step was an invisibility powder and a protective charm. Then, they’d enchant the cannons for accuracy and to fire on their own. Finally, they needed to enchant weapons so they could hold an enchanted flame or freezing shock. Zelena didn’t want this fight; normally offensive, there was nothing to gain from battle, which left her on the defense. She wanted to scare these Navy men. Let them see the witches and the women with the flaming weapons. Let them see the men who served, and the grace they wielded a sword that chilled an enemy to the bone. Emma mixed satchels of herbs, gunpowder, and magical poultices which created smoke that would bring on sleep or paralyzation.

When the sun rose in reds and purples, Meri whistled to Fa, a loud and high pitched sound that twisted at the end. Fa ran to Zelena, waking her.

“Captain, there’s a second ship. It was following closely behind the first.” Fa gasped, hands on her knees.

Zelena’s reply was graceful and eloquent.

“Shit.”

  They held their breath as the Navy ships approached, obviously confused. A ship disappearing was unheard of unless sailing in shipwrecked waters, and a ship as large as The Emerald Envy of Oz didn’t just lift off the face of the sea. That was, of course, part of Zelena’s plan. The ships stopped at a small, anchored dinghy, a dummy sitting prone in its curved hull. Zelena nodded to her crew, and they watched with weapons ready as the navy sent a small boat to survey the anchored decoy.

Emma waited for Zelena’s signal, biting her lip.

A man stepped into the dinghy, hauling the dummy up, and he waved a handkerchief. Zelena saluted Emma, and Emma took a deep breath. She felt every muscle in her body tense, and the crackle of her magic rose up through her hair, wind swirling around her.

The dummy exploded, blowing the man to smithereens, and spurting strange purple goo that covered both navy ships. It stretched like tentacles, the consistency of thick molasses. Terror swept through the crews, some men stuck in the concoction, others trying desperately to get them free while getting stuck themselves. Emma laughed with wry amusement when a high ranking official jumped off the side of the ship to escape a blob. Other men tried to hit the substance with anything they had around, finding it able to hold even the heaviest barrels in its viscous grip.

Emma’s hands filled with light again, and Zelena watched with ecstatic glee as she raised them while performing the enchantment, gold spreading to their cannons. It was done. Leaning back against the mast, Emma took deep breaths as sweat beaded her brow. Zelena in turn cast a quick charm on their weaponry, lighting them with her signature green flame. Emma pulled out her own rapier, letting it light green, and joined the line of her crew.

As their ship moved closer to the goo-covered frigate and its companion, Emma smiled at the names scrawled on their hulls, now obscured. The Jewel of the Realm, now the Ew th Ream in its jellied form, on one side and the larger ‘Feared Avenger’, its own letters also covered by goo, making it the Red Ven. Without a nullifying charm, they’d be stuck for days like this.

When they were close enough to the larger ship, Zelena gave Emma one last signal. With a wave of her hand, their cannons began their enchanted firing and the invisibility charm fell. Shouts and screams of pure horror filled the air, the Navy unprepared for this level of an ambush. Her fellow crew mates answered with a roar of war cries, enchanted blades shining in the sun, as they flew to board each of the ships. Emma landed on the Jewel of the Realm with a roll, expertly avoiding the goo, and slashing the first man that ran at her with ease. Parrying attack after attack and letting her sword start fires on the deck as well as on men’s uniforms, she showed her teeth in a wide leer. Men ran terrified, the captain shouting desperately.

Shoving her rapier through another man, she set her eyes on who she assumed was the captain of The Jewel and smiled a predatory grin. The captain was tall, had sandy, coppery blonde curls, and was broad with a muscular build. She had the vague sense she’d seen him somewhere before, but that didn’t matter in this moment. She headed towards him when an attack caught her off guard. She parried back, and her attacker spun, going high. Blocking with her rapier, she aimed a hard kick in his gut, and he fell to his knees. She went to cut his throat, tipping his chin up at her with the point of her blade, when he glared up at her. Neither of them could hide their shock.

“You!?” he said, blue eyes wide and angry. His mouth pulled back into a sneer. The lieutenant she had shared her body with, had warned of death, a self fulfilling prophecy.

“Me,” she said sadly, and let the point of her rapier press into his neck. A small dribble of blood ran down to pool in his collarbone, blooming red in his shirt. Every muscle in her body felt frozen, her mind screamed at her to end his life.

He closed his eyes, and she took a step back, arm raised and unsteady. Emma lowered her wrist, unable to fight a feeling of wrongness.

The captain barrelled in to her with a roar, and she was quickly under him. He had her shoulder pinned and blue eyes that were so like the dark haired man met hers. The brother. He groaned and paled as he looked at her face, his weight crushing her. She looked down and saw her rapier buried deep in his thigh, blood gushing in spurts from a wound that meant certain death.

“Liam!” The dark haired man pulled the giant off of her, rolling him on his back as the sandy haired man turned white. She watched as they held hands, the dark haired man cradling his brother’s head. “Stay with me, stay with me brother. Please, stay with me.”

“Killian, I…” His head lolled, and Emma could see the large man go into shock. His blood coated her hands. For the first time in many years, it made her feel sick.

Emma moved to his side, and ignored the man called Killian’s rage filled protests at her approach. She was vaguely aware that not only was this wrong, it was sheer lunacy on her part. Her body moved out of her volition without regard of why. She pulled her rapier from the bigger brother, Liam’s, thigh. Throwing it aside, it clattered against the deck as she held pressure to the soaked thigh below her hands. Emma felt a blade press against her neck, Killian against her back. Ignoring it, she focused on her magic, knowing she would need to pull from that golden thread to heal something this bad.

“You killed him, you killed him you bitch. I’ll cut your neck and send you straight to hell you demon -”

The spark ignited in her hands as Killian rasped in her ear. White light poured out of her hands, and she pressed on the wound harder, ignoring the bite of the steel. Liam groaned, color returning to his face, his chest heaving with slow effort. The hand at her neck fell away as the man’s wound closed into a faint scar.

She felt the sobs against her back as Liam’s eyes fluttered open. Killian scrambled back to his brother, hugging him tight, as the battle slowed around them and her crew began retreating now that the point had been made. Snow gave a bird call, and they began to return to the Oz.

Emma picked up her rapier, wiping it on her pants, and went to walk away. A hand grabbed her wrist, and she looked down to see Killian’s tear filled eyes.

“I don’t know why you did it, I don’t know how you did it -” He gulped down another sob. “Thank you. Thank you, for -”

“Fuck off, and quit the Navy. You got lucky this time.” Emma pulled away from him, and both brothers stared at her as she carefully swung back onto the Oz’s boarding planks.

David, Walsh, Fa, and Merida poured the prepared potion on the Avenger, releasing its sticky hold on the Jewel. There were minimal casualties, besides David losing part of his finger, and a nasty gash that Fa had on her cheek. Zelena had killed most of the naval crew, and those that had bailed bobbed in the water as she took up her mantle at the wheel. Emma steered the Oz away, and the Avenger followed. Commandeered for their use the sailors watched helplessly, swimming towards the Jewel to be fished out of the water. The Oz and crew now controlled a fleet.

The former captain of The Feared Avenger flopped on the Jewel’s deck, wet and raging mad. He had caught a glimpse of one attacker, a woman glowing gold as she flew through attackers without quarter. A demon from his past sent to punish him and test his worth.

  Captain James Nolan’s dear little sister was a pirate, and she had magic.

[spacedemodulator]

Replying to "40 Queen Asks" by @sail-away-sweet-shishter

(Edited to improve formatting.)

1. Favorite Member of the band?

Can't you see that it's impossible to choose? But, uh, Rogerina is stunning.

2. Favorite album?

Whichever one I last listened to? Sometimes I think it's The Game or A Night at the Opera, but these days I often find myself turning to Sheer Heart Attack or Queen II or Jazz when I'm in the mood for some Queen. Just because I didn't listen to them *quite* as much back when I was a kid.

3. Least Favorite album?

Hm. Probably The Miracle, just because an album that begins with "Party" and "Khashoggi's Ship" feels like it takes a while to get good. But it's still good. (That's the thing about Queen: even if there's something I don't like as much as I wish I did, it's still kind of interesting.)

4. Favorite song(s)?

How much time do we have? "Save Me," "The Show Must Go On," "March of the Black Queen," "Tenement Funster," "Another One Bites the Dust," "I Want to Break Free," "I'm in Love with My Car," "Death on Two Legs" ... (takes deep breath) ... "The Invisible Man," "Staying Power," "Keep Yourself Alive," "Under Pressure," "Teo Torriate," "Flash," "Killer Queen," "Father to Son," "Flick of the Wrist," "'39," "Sleeping on the Sidewalk," "Love of My Life" ..... you get the idea.

And some rhapsody thing for bohemian types, you probably haven't heard about it.

5. Least Favorite song(s)?

"Jesus," because wait, what ... really?

"White Man," but I feel like I have to explain. I like the sentiment of the song: anti-racist, anti-colonialist, etc. That's great. But when I listen to the melody and rhythm, I feel like the song undermines itself by being based on the racist caricatures of Native American culture we see in old Hollywood westerns. And since the song doesn't have an ounce of irony or humor, the net effect of this contradiction is jarring and unpleasant.

But I almost never skip the track because hey, at least it's Queen.

6. Favorite era?

Pre- to early Munich

7. Favorite Freddie Mercury outfit?

70's Wings and kimono.

8. Favorite Brian May outfit?

Wembley style.

9. Favorite Roger Taylor outfit?

Rogerina OR cranky-old-man Roger in a nice suit.

10. Favorite John Deacon outfit?

From the video for Another One Bites the Dust.

Or...

When he's at a wild party wearing a cardigan in the background while Freddie is signing the buttcheeks of a naked exotic dancer.

11. Favorite Queen Story?

"Mister Ferocious."

Or...

How Queen blew away Live Aid by turning up their amps and, you know, rehearsing.

12. Do you own any Queen merchandise?

I think I have a bicycle jersey in a box somewhere that has the Flash Gordon logo.

And this isn't really Queen merchandise, but I have one of Brian's stereoscopic collections of the planets. I won it in a contest through Astronomy Magazine.

13. Do you own any Queen Vinyls?

The ones I bought as a kid are in a box in my parents' attic (if they've even survived). Now I just have the CDs.

14. Favorite Full band picture?

The outtake from the photo session for the Sheer Heart Attack cover where Brian, Roger, and John are laughing hysterically while Freddie is clearly trying his hardest not to lose it.

15. Favorite single picture of each band member?

The record sleeve that came with the Flash Gordon vinyl album with the lightning bolts between the individual pictures. Those are all great shots.

16. Favorite Music Video?

Does the movie Flash Gordon count?

Otherwise: "I Want to Break Free," or maybe "I'm Going Slightly Mad."

17. FMK Rogerina, Fredrika, or Brianna?

That is the correct order, yes.

18. Have you ever cried listening to Queen?

"Save Me," and "Teo Torriate" both get to me at times.

19. Last Queen song you heard on the radio?

"Crazy Little Thing Called Love"

20. Are you excited for Bohemian Rhapsody?

Oh my, darling. Yes.

21. Are you listening to Queen right now?

Uh...no. What the fuck is wrong with me?

22. What was the last Queen song you heard in general?

"Back Chat," from Queen On Fire: Live at the Bowl. In my car a few hours ago.

23. Has anything Queen related happened in School or at work?

Right before I went to college Highlander came out and quickly turned into a cult classic on VHS, so my college years were full of opportunities to introduce the rest of Queen to fellow students who'd just discovered that movie.

24. Do you have any IRL friends who are big Queen fans?

Yes, but I don't think any of them would bother to answer a survey on Tumblr.

25. Who introduced Queen to you?

My best friend when I was 10 years old.

26. Funniest Queen song?

Ogre Battle. Bring Back That Leroy Brown. Don't Try Suicide. Seaside Rendezvous. Death on Two Legs.

27. Which song do you listen to just for that part?

I'll sometimes listen to the Flash Gordon album and literally vibrate and giggle in anticipation for the whole battle sequence on side two that has Brian Blessed and the wedding march and "The Hero" and all that craziness.

28. Have you ever seen Queen live?

Sadly no.

29. Favorite Sassy Freddie story?

Kicking out his faithless boyfriend but keeping his cat.

30. Favorite Live performance?

It's a toss-up between Queen Rock Montreal and Live at Wembley Stadium. But there are other live recordings I haven't heard yet.

31. Have you recommended Queen to anyone?

Of course!

32. When did you discover Queen?

In 1980 I was 10 years old and my friend Keith got The Game on cassette. We wore that thing out. And then Flash Gordon came out, and I pestered my parents for the soundtrack. And then my uncle got me Queen's Greatest Hits on vinyl for Christmas. (And then, and then....)

More truth: at that time my family was living in a west Texas oil town and the only music I listed to was country-western on the radio and my parents' folk song albums. (And Star Wars.)

What I'm saying is, Freddie Mercury basically saved my ass from Conway Twitty.

33. Favorite Fan art? (make sure to give credit to the original creator!)

Definitely this art by @dungeonpeaches

34. If you could go back in time and meet one member of the band, who would you choose?

I don't really want to. I think I'd bore them all to death.

Unless...can I go back and witness Freddie's first trip to Japan? I'll carry his shopping bags.

35. Do you like Jimercury?

Awww, Jim.

36. Funniest post on Brians instagram?

Nothing jumps out at me, but he's probably stereoscopically fondling a hedgehog.

37. Black Nail polish for Freddie or White Nail polish for Brian?

Black on Freddie.

38. Which band member do you think would be mostly likely to have a tumblr?

Well Brian has had a blog for many years and an Instagram for quite a while, so I guess it would have to be Brian.

39. But how do you really feel about ‘im in love with my car’ ?

When my hand's on your grease gun, it's like a disease, son.

40. What song really hits you right in the feels?

The Show Must Go On. Teo Torriate. Too Much Love Will Kill You. Save Me. Loser in the End.

[obannthepunished]

This weeks notes Mostly transcription this week i think, i tried my best for nott’s scene. as usual ignore the asterisks because theyre just notes to myself.

peace

Molly is Nervous (tm) abiut sticking around, or going to the gentleman

theres a fight in the evening nip, beau is fucking excited its thedd (halfling from sewers) and lewis (one of the ones that had run from the research facility)

N: "I got three gold on Thedd" M: Seems a bit late for a wager at this point N: Just you and me! M:.... fair. I'm in.

Thedd wins by standing on lewis' throat til he passes out holy shit M: (drops coins into Nott's hand) N, smug: Thank you :)

oh now Nott and Beau are fighting jesus christ. C: "I cast Haste on Beauregard." Laura: YOU PIECE OF SHIT **

J: Inflict Wounds (17 dmg) ((Fjord, changing his voice: "I GOT 5 GOLD ON THE HORNY ONE)) B: WHAT THE FUCK JESTER, Stunning Strike, (7dmg, jes fails con save (6), she is stunned, extra attack from haste, 6dmg) J: (is stunned for this round, until the end of beaus turn) B: Beaus the shit outta her ( 12dmg, 6dmg) ((MOLLY blinds her)) B: still goin, but misses 2 of em, hits on the third (12dmg) J: (goes down)

caleb: goes for the low five, and Beau just.... ignores him unintentionally bless.

Frumpkin is sent to lick the blood off of jesters face, Beau cleans her up <33

They are called to the gentleman's side

offered a forward of 500gp and a pot of 4500g to travel to Shady Creek Run, the criminals town, and free and bring back Ophelia... something, who corresponds often with the gentleman

the tldr of the second (250 adv, 1750 pot) is that the swamps are dangerous for the gentlemans safehouse which has gone dark.

theyre promised resources for missions from the gentleman

Jester: "IS HE MOIST"(re the gentleman)

they take on both, starting with the swamps. The Gentleman advises they travel the 70 miles above ground.

Fjord is so fuckin smooth talky wtf. they get greater heling potion(s)?? + cure disease? Caleb's gettin some ink + paper, but its not good for spells 8(

Nott keeps making water puns. im counting 4. and a hankie.

Jester wand of smiles Kutha again, poor kutha 8(

Caleb + beau ( + assumedly nott) go to pumat's

have they paid their inn tab??

Cay buys incense for rituals, probably find familiar lbh. he also gets his magical ink+parchment.

Beau is interested in the bracers of defence. Theyre like 1200gp tho arent they??? B: how much PS: 1200 gold B:HOLY SHIT PUMAT. [snip] B: HOLY SHIT PUMAT(S).

C: (tells beau he cast haste) B: YOU SLIP SOMETHIN IN MY DRINK CALEB??? WHAT THE FUCK MAN

they have 6 horses, 2 pulling, 6 solo. Jes is driving thr cart.

Caleb: (brings up the feywild) Jester: oh the traveller has told me about that!!

Frumpkin is (one of) the first cats yasha has seen 8'O shes fuckin loving it **

lots of fucking soldiers heading to war. hundreds, if not thousands.

night falls as they reach the origin of the. road. they cant find a campground because tal rolled SHIT even with advantage.

Jester + Fjord take first watch. (13. Nothing) Yasha + Beau on second watch. (14. Also Nothing.) B: We should huddle together for warmth??? Y: Fr- Frumpkin is keeping me. very warm. are you cold??? do you want my, my cloak? B: No, no my, my (jacket??? cant remember what she said) is fine, its htin, but its warm Then they talk about Yasha ands this is the furthest shes ever been. Y: "i like this stuff. Grass, and, things. you know." B: You appreciate grass?

B: What was your favourite part of xorhas? Y: I... dont know if i HAD a favourite part

this was the CUTEST shit

third watch is Nott + Molly (10, nothing happens) taliesin trying a jester voice makes me the heart eyes emoji

goblins canonically steal children what THE FUCK. And EAT them. But Nott, apparently, has not eaten a child. "My clan, we STOLE from people. money and clothing and things. And when things got tough, we'd steal the people too." Goblins dont do family. "I do not have an urge to kill and eat children" "i have cravings for... rats... cats-" (Caleb snaps) Frumpkin goes back to the feywild Yasha: =(

taliesin taking watch after rolling shit cmon. he gets 16. Noon, broken cloud cover, a tiny distant curl of smoke. oh not again. its a mile away tho so like

the smoke is coming from a small shack.

"For you, Fjord, I will make Frumpkin a bird." He doesn't though but its the sentiment.

Yasha gets shoulder frumpkin back!

The shack door opens to "an elderly fullblood orc" with hair and beard and all that shit.

for 1 (one) gp a month, you TOO can bother a whole old man orc. Jesus christ he had a battleaxe. puts it down, invites yasha and molly in. THIS IS SO UNNECESSARY Molly buys hide armor + 2lb of meat for 16gp. M: Perception check 10. Matt: "Okay." There is sOMETHING SUS about this.

and theyre off again, i am glad for this. i do not like elderly orc man.

yasha and molly double up on that goof "we totally killed him, three times." its very good

M + Y: What kind of meat is this? (fuck their rolls) its meat! its good meat!

M+Y take first watch, its 12. Nothing happens. Yasha collects some flowers to press awww. N+C Second watch, they roll w advantage lmao. 22. something is going to happen. "you hear the snapping of a twig. you see a shifting of shadow. a few things" Cay casts mage armor

Two arrows for Caleb. con saving throw. probably poison. 10. its poison. he is poisoned. fucks frickin sake. is it gnolls?? is it goblins??? hyenas??? furred barking things. wolves.

two ogres, a cluster of wolves, and goblin-like creatures

initiative order:

Beau: Nat20, 24 Goblins Caleb: 18 Fjord, Molly: 16 Ogres Nott: 15 Yasha, Jester: 6 Wolves

B: Jester, puppies!!

Yasha and Jester shrug off poison of those that hit them.

Caleb casts slow on one ogre. unrelated liam is so good???

oh yeah eldritch blast gets two beams of eldritch blast at lv3

Molly radiants once scimitar and cuts RIGHT through one of em. misses the second.

Caleb hit with a javelin, 4-5 inches into his stomach, holding itself upright. Caleb keeps the spell going.

Nott pretends shes one of them and aims for Caleb, hits the book instead. and nails it.

Jester (traumatised): CALEB!!! cure wounds 2nd level. but he is pretty fucked so its ok. he heals to full its ok its ok. Jester cares so much

Yasha pulls necrotic shroud! which as someone who cant watch TM, this is a reveal for me! :D

J: (to cale) Youre alive! How did- C: (monotonous) haha! funny, joke.

Fjord explodes a goblin Molly cuts one in half, vertically

Molly curses the ogre attacking beau

Nott shoots the ogre, and then the goblin next to her... but misses and is fucked

Yash gets the hdywtdt on one of the ogres

Beau @ necrotic shroud!yasha: you look... dope. You look FUCKIN HOT LETS GO.

cay has magic missile!

fjord gets the second hdywtdt w eldritch blast.

cay n molly go to retrieve stolen goods from goblin but apparently just Molly

Yasha necrotic shrouds when shes startled awake. F: Can you fly? Y: ...no J: Have you tried? Y:... yeah.

Yasha n Caleb have a conversation in celestial C: No really, are you an angel? Y: of sorts, i guess [snip] C: You will have to explain this now, or later. do you want to explain this now, or later? Y: i- ill explain it, just, maybe we should clean up first!

i have no idea whats going on but i heard marisha say "bad dragon" and im gonna die

J: Nott, are you okay? Was it weird to fight other goblins? N: it was... rewarding. I'm only sad that... one got away. B: Nott, do you share the same hatred in yourself? [snip] N: Do... do I hate myself? No. I'm... I'm cool. F: You seem excited to hurt your own kind. N: I know, I'm a goblin, for as long as I've been alive I haven't felt comfortable in, in there. I havent felt comfortable in my skin. It feels like I shouldnt be, i dont fit in with them. I feel, this feels WRONG, like I should be in a different body. The way they act, the way they are, it's not ME. They do horrible things to people, and they seem fine with it. I never felt the same with them. It's not that I don't like myself or anything, I think I'm okay, I just don't like how I feel when I see my hands, or my feet. They just feel wrong. I just want to be... different. C: Was there anyone you were close to? N: Not in my clan, but there was... someone. They tried me on different jobs but I was not a soldier, i was not a good cook, not good at sweing, or building, they stuck me with the torturer. I was the torturers assistant. there was a halfling village not far away and they captured someone from the village, they wanted me to kill him, but instead, I was kind to him. And he started talking, and my... fellow gobbies didn't like that, but they allowed it, because i was getting valuable information. [about halflings resources] I became friends with him. He was nice. J: What happened to him? N: I hope he got away J: Did you leave before him? N: We left together [snip J: Did you love him? N: .... I don't know. The halfling taught her how to speak in halfling, taught her about alchemy, when he has taught her everything, the goblins said to kill him. And she didnt want to. so she got REAL drunk, and shot another goblin in the ass. N: I hope he got away. We ran off in separate directions. I've been running ever since.

+1 to the quest log, find Nott's friend.

Beaus trying to be nice i love her.

C: I do not care. I know who you are now. (<333)

B: I think we're all a little bit of island of misfits.

F: You showed a lot of bravery tonight B: Nott, The brave. J: Maybe there is a comma.

Y: Nott, I'm sorry we made fun of you eating children N: I HAVE NOT EATEN CHILDREN

B: What got you locked up with this guy? (Caleb) N: Being me. Stealing food? C: You told me it was cherry wine. N: OKAY IT WAS BOOZE.

it is now raining.

M: Well, I'm sleeping underneath the cart! if anyone wants to join me... J: We wont all fit! M: We'll snuggle. *

Molly + Jester are under the cart.

"i tasted a baby once. ONCE. they were handing around a bowl, I didn't know-" -N Liam takes Sam's flask and takes a swig so i assume caleb does the same in canon C: "Who am I to judge?"

[queen-scribbles]

A Fine Line

For @pillarspromptsweekly 35: Od Nua. Turned into Ederity, and I’m not sorry at all :D

“Y’know, Tavi when you asked if I wanted to come visit you this time, this is not how I figured it would go,” Edér complained teasingly as he ducked under tattered spiderwebs.

“Wasn’t how I was plannin’ for it to go,” Tavi said with a laugh. “But tremors under my main fuckin’ keep can’t exactly be ignored, can they?”

“And us being here is just a happy coincidence?” Charity piped up, switching the torch she carried to her left hand so she could wipe clean a plaque mounted on the wall.

“Hey, I was only half serious when I suggested you comin’ with him would solidify the courtship cover story,” Tavi countered. She surveyed the rest of the crypt chamber they stood in with a careful eye. Two levels down and while they’d found plenty evidence of disturbance--fresh fallen debris, and the like--they hadn’t yet found a likely cause. “I’m honestly kinda surprised you both went for it.” She paused to shove aside a rock that was blocking the doorway they needed. “Happy as I am to see you.”

Charity chuckled. “Nice save.” She held the torch higher as she and Edér followed Tavi down the stairs. “What is this place, anyway?”

“I dunno,” Tavi admitted, tapping her fingers against the hilt of one sabre as they descended the staircase. “Some king thousands of years ago hollowed it all out. I don’t even know how deep it goes; I’ve only been down here once. Helpin’ Kana look for some fuckin’ important book.”

“Oh, yeah, the one the skeleton wizard had,” Edér chimed in. “I felt real bad for him after that.”

“Me, too. Right now I’m hopin’ that whatever’s behind the tremors and shit isn’t any deeper than that so we don’t have to clear out any more levels.”

“So if you’ve cleared everything out,” Charity began, “we’re armed as what, a precaution?”

“Pretty much,” Tavi swatted away cobwebs. “There was everything from xaurips and wurms to adra beetles and ogres in here before. They got in somehow, and if more followed them I wanna be prepared.” 

“Smart,” Charity agreed.

“What I lack in book smarts I make up in common sense,” Tavi joked.

Behind her, Edér coughed. “No comment.”

“Hey!” She wheeled to shoot him a dirty look, which he met with a grin as she almost missed a step. “I will fuckin’ leave you down here, Teylecg.”

He laughed. “But you won’t, ‘cause then you’d hafta explain to Dyrford what you did with their mayor. Winfrith ain’t gonna deputy forever, he was clear on that.”

“Dammit.” He had her there. “Fine. You’re safe.”

“Such a relief,” Edér deadpanned. “I was really worried.”

Tavi rolled her eyes but let him have the last word. She could hear Charity trying (and failing) to muffle how much she was laughing at them, and the occasional chuckle from Edér at how amused Charity was, as they made their way deeper into the Paths. So far, so good.

-o-

As she’d hoped, they didn’t encounter much of anything the first few levels they passed through, just spiders. Normal sized ones. Focused as she was on leading the way, Tavi still noticed how quiet her companions were being, and sent up a hasty prayer if wasn’t because something was wrong.

By the fifth level down, the amount of rubble they had to skirt or climb over increased dramatically. They’d only just started down the main hallway when one of the tremors shook the walls around them. The door slammed down prematurely, grazing the back of Edér’s shoulder.

He brushed off Tavi’s concern with a smile. “I’ll be fine, Tav. You know I’m tougher’n that, I hope.”

“I do.” She ran one hand through her hair and winked at him. “Just want t’ be sure you’re at your best ‘case we have to fight anything. Maybe let Charity look at it?”

The two of them shared a look. “I don’t think that’s necessary-” Edér started, in tandem with Charity’s “If he says he’s alright-”

Tavi raised an eyebrow. Something happened there, she mused, taking in the uneasy set of Edér’s posture and the faint blush coloring Charity’s face. Another tremor, stronger this time, reminded her where her priorities needed to be, and she reluctantly shelved her curiosity. “If you say so. Hopefully we’re gettin’ close, with how strong the tremors are.”

“Seems likely,” Edér nodded, seeming relieved at the change of subject.

There was a small cascade of dust from the ceiling that set all of them coughing. Tavi huffed dust out of her bangs and smiled to herself when Charity reached over to ruffle some free of Edér’s hair as well. So whatever had them blushing and awkward wasn’t bad, just, well, awkward. That was actually promising.

-o-

Six levels down they did have to fight some adra beetles that had crept back in, but they were small and underdeveloped and not much trouble. The biggest challenge was keeping them away from Charity; the beetles weren’t kith who might fall for insulting taunts, they just wanted rid of these intruding pests. Tavi and Edér both wound up physically placing themselves between one of the beetles and their priest. (If Edér did it more than she did, well, Tavi was just going to file that away with no comment.)

“I can take care of myself, y’know,” Charity commented, smashing the last beetle’s head with her mace. “Militia, remember?”

“Sorry,” Tavi laughed. “I know. My previous experience with priests usually involved them stayin’ out of the fray and offerin’ support.”

Charity slid a look at Edér. “And what’s your excuse?” she asked playfully.

Edér shrugged and tweaked the end of her ponytail. “Not used to fightin’  ‘longside a priest, am used to protectin’ people, wanted t’ keep you safe, take your pick.”

Charity grinned. “Wanted to keep me safe, huh?”

He grinned right back. “I make a lousy mayor if I can’t protect my people.”

“You two remember I’m in on the whole fake courtship thing, right?” Tavi piped up with a smirk as she wiped ichor off her armor. “You don’t hafta pretend you’re a couple around me, I know the truth.”

Both of them started, coughed sheepishly, and quickly turned their attention anywhere but each other. Edér was actually blushing, which only made Tavi smirk more as she kicked aside a beetle corpse and started walking toward the next staircase down.

-o-

There was no conversation as they made their way down the stairs. Due to both the perpetual cloud of dust in the air, and Edér and Charity’s not wanting to give her the wrong idea, Tavi was pretty sure. She wasn’t, however, sure it was the wrong idea. She bit her lip to hold bck a smile. Gods, all she’d had to do was suggest the fake courtship and give them the tiniest fucking nudge towards each other. They were doing all the work. The next tremor rumbled in the ground beneath her feet, deep as a war drum, and Tavi would have sworn she could feel it in her chest.

They’d barely reached the bottom of the stairs when they were set upon by a pair of rain blights. Big ones.

I’ve always hated fighting these things, Tavi grumbled to herself, swearing up a blue streak as the three of them teamed up on first one blight, then the other.  “Guess we shoulda turned off the forges, huh?”

“Toldja,” Edér chuckled, raking wet hair out of his eyes. “Too bad Kana ain’t here, he owes me a couple fennings.”

“We get this sorted out with minimal damage or injury, I”ll pay for him,” Tavi snarked.

“I’ll hold you to that,” he said, turning and raising his shield as a wind blight appeared around the corner. Tavi wheeled so she could stand next to him, and could hear Charity quietly murmuring a prayer off to her right. This blight was smaller than the last two, but something about it felt off to her. A few seconds later, when it reached them, she got her reason why.

Rather than lash out with one of the attacks typical of its kind, the wind blight shot out a jet of flame that splashed off Edér’s shield.

“What the fuck,” Tavi muttered fervently as she dodged forward and around to flank it. A soft but steady glow of conviction settled in her gut, and she flashed Charity a brief, grateful smile as she swung her sabres at the blight’s central mass.

It dissipated with a high-pitched screech that she might have imagined. “Alright, how many fuckin’ souls are trapped down here for the forges to still be going?” she demanded, sheathing her sabres.

“Maybe it’s not how many, but how trapped they are,” Charity said. “If they can’t get away from this floor and it was designed to make blights, maybe the same souls are getting used over and over again.”

“What, the pull of the forge is stronger than the pull of the Wheel?” Tavi winced as she considered it. “Scary thought. So we should shut off all the forges before we kill the blights?”

“Can’t hurt to do it that way,” Charity shrugged. “Worst case it’ll mean there’s no more of that kind coming. Do you know how to turn them off?”

Tavi and Edér both shook their heads. “Why do you think I left ‘em runnin’ last time?” Tavi said sheepishly.

“Well, I’m sure between the three of us we can figure it out.” Charity nodded toward the nearest doorway, a faint green light spilling into the hallway from within.

“Hopefully,” Tavi said with a grunt, and led the way into the room. She was still pretty well baffled by how the fucking thing worked, but it wasn’t like she’d examined them all that closely last time she was down here. Just stuck her head in, didn’t see a clear on/off lever, and decided not to bother. Now she sort of wished she had. This was going to be a pain in the ass.

With a crackling rumble, another tremble shook the ground, definitely sounding and feeling like it originated on this level. Tavi filed that observation away for later, as the trio of huge earth blights waiting in the forge room were a more immediate concern. It was lucky they had Charity with them; while blades didn’t do much against the earth blights, her mace had much better luck. It took some time, but they did clear the room.

“Alright, let’s see what we’re workin’ with here,” Charity murmured, stepping close enough to examine the forge design. In place of the lever Tavi had (sort of) checked for last time, there was a carven pedestal with a pyramid-shaped indentation in the top. “Looks like you have to put some sort of talisman or prism in there to get it to work,” she mused.

“Oh!” Tavi looked at the indentation, shared a glance with Edér, and then bolted down the hallway heading for Gabrannos’ study. “I know where that is!”

“And you left it there?” Charity said incredulously as she and Edér hurried to keep up.

“It didn’t look useful or valuable, an’ we were already carryin’ too much- Shit!”

Hovering in the hall between her and her goal waited an enormous wind blight. Like the smaller earlier that had attacked Edér, small bursts of flame shot out randomly from its depths.

“What the fuck is going on?!” Tavi growled, barely waiting  for the other two to catch up before flinging herself at the blight.

This fight went badly. Whether due to its size or something else, the blight was even tougher than most, and with its extra abilities, that added up to doing a lot more damage before they took it down. In the end, Edér retrieved the prism Tavi had been after while Charity did what she could for the minor burns Tavi sustained thanks to being just a hair too slow. It had dredged up some none-too-pleasant memories in the process, and Tavi spent the time fighting the beginnings of a flashback. Said memories were far enough in the past (and she had enough practice) that she did manage, but it still had rattled her.

They returned to the earth blight forge without incident, and Tavi stuck the prism in the pedestal. After one final flare of light, the forge went dark. The blight that had been forming dissipated when only half done.

“Now we just gotta find the rest of those prism,” Tavi said, flexing her fingers.

“Like this one?” Edér asked as he stood from examining a small chest against the wall. In his hand rested a very similar prism, just deep grey instead of rich gren.

“Exactly like that.” Tavi took it from him, careful of her injuries. “Let’s see, there’s earth, wind, flame, and rain blights. This one’s probably-”

“Wind,” Edér interrupted, gesturing at the prism. “It’s got the symbol etched on the bottom.”

“I was fucking getting there,” Tavi grumbled.

“Now you don’t have to,” he said as he stood.

She rolled her eyes and led the way out of the forge room. “Now we just need to find that forge...”

No sooner had the words left her mouth than there was a flash of dull light from ahead and to the right.

“We could start there,” Charity said, voice rife with amusement.

‘There’ proved to be a hole in the wall to the eind blight forge room on the side facing the flame blight forge doorway. Edér hung back at the mouth of the hall to stand guard as Tavi and Charity approached the gap. The air smelled like lightning, the tang of it getting stronger  as they moved closer.

“Wonder what did this,” Charity mused, eyeing the folk-sized hole.

Tavi was about to answer when she felt a low hum in her back teeth. A quick glance confirmed that both the flame and wind blight forges were ramping up, the facing apertures crackling with energy. She didn’t need her gut to tell her this wasn’t going to end well.

“Move!” she hollered instead, all but tackling Charity out of the way as the energy from the two rooms arced to join in a painfully bright beam. It was a close enough call Tavi felt the hair on the back of her neck prickle. The two of them hit the ground and tumbled through a sagging stone doorway, just before it collapsed from the ferocity of the tremor that followed.

Tavi sat up, coughing and waving away dust. “You alright, Charity?”

“Yeah,” Charity groaned. She sat up as well, feeling a small cut on her forehead with careful fingers. “Thanks to you. Good instincts.”

Tavi nodded, just as muffled pounding against the fallen rocks reached them.

“Tavi? Charity?” Edér’s voice was similarly muffled. “If you ain’t dead give me a holler.” Both of them hollered accordingly. “Well, that’s good,” he said, relief clear. “If you ain’t hurt bad we can probably have ya outta there pretty quick.”

Tavi had her doubts--the collapsed wall looked to have settled pretty soundly--but kept it to herself until proven correct. “You’re prob’ly gonna need a prybar.” 

“Where’m I gonna find one of them?”

“Back up in the the armory, ‘less you happened to bring one with you,” Tavi replied, glancing at Charity, who shook her head. She couldn’t blame Edér for sounding irritated; she wasn’t happy with this turn of events either. 

There was a moment’s silence, then, “...Fine. Be back quick as I can.”

“I feel like we should at least see if we can find a way out while we’re waitin’ for him,” Charity commented after a few seconds. “He’ll get us out if he has to tear the wall apart with his bare hands to do it. But if we can keep it from going that far...”

“Sure, sure, good point,” Tavi agreed. “I mean, if one spot on the wall was weak enough to break, why not more?”

“Exactly.” Charity kicked a pebble, watched it ricochet off one of the support pillars.

“Least now we know where those fuckin’ combination blights came from,” Tavi said. She wasn’t keen on the idea of letting silence fall.

“And the tremors,” Charity pointed out as she tested one of the walls. “They came from the sheer force of two forges working together to make a blight.” 

“But it didn’t make a blight.” The fact dawned on Tavi in the same moment she said it. “Does it not always make blights? If it had this time we would heard Edér fightin’ it ‘fore he checked on us.” She hesitated briefly before deciding the segue was as good as any. “How’s it goin’ for you two, anyway? Y’know, with the fake courtship.”

Charity fumbled the small chest she’d picked up, almost dropping the blue glass prism from inside it. “Fine. We’re... fine. Look what I found.” She held up the prism.

Tavi nodded, then raised an eyebrow. “And you don’t expect me to pry after that?  I won’t breathe a word to anyone. Including Edér.”

“It’s... getting complicated,” Charity admitted. Her fingers played with her necklace and her eyes roamed the wall rather than meet Tavi’s. “With us being friends... there’s a real fine line between pretend courting and real couritng an’ I think maybe we’re... losin’ sight of it.”

“How come?” Hylea save her, Tavi tried to hide her eagerness as she asked. Wasn’t sure she did a good job.

“Just... little things,” Charity hedged, sliding down the wall to a seated position and playing with the blue glass prism. “We spend a lot of time together; more than we strictly need to. I picked up knitting as a hobby this winter, so I wouldn’t go stir crazy, and everything I’ve made so far wound up bein’ for him. Scarf, hat, hand warmers... And he wore them, Tavi. In public. I’m still a novice, so they weren’t exactly pretty and he wore them.” She paused, cleared her throat (somehow missed the grin Tavi was fighting). “Remember how you told me when his birthday is? I, um... my neighbors’ dog had puppies and I gave Edér one.”

Tavi stopped fighting the grin. “Sounds like a good present for him.”

“He...” Charity hesitated, face flaming to match her hair. “He kissed me.”

Tavi nearly swallowed her tongue. Fuck. Yes.

“And not one of those forehead or cheek kisses we’d been doin’ to help with the courtship facade, an actual honest to Eothas kiss. O-Only for a second, and he apologized for doing it, but the thing is...” She bit her lip. “He didn’t need to. Apologize, I mean. I-I didn’t mind it.”

“What do you think that means?” Tavi asked, trying desperately to keep her voice neutral.

“I don’t know,” Charity admitted after a hefty pause. “We’ve been... a little bit off since, which I”m sure you noticed. We need to talk about it, but I have no fucking clue what I would say.”

“Well,” Tavi began, only to be cut off by the scrape of metal against rock from the cave in.

“Found one!” Edér’s voice filtered through the stone. “Next floor up, in one of the crates we didn’t clean out first time through.”

“Great,” Tavi called back, even if her internal monologue was more Dammit than gratitude.

With the help of the prybar, Edér had made a big enough hole for them to crawl through in just a few minutes. He helped Charity and Tavi through, winced a little and rolled his shoulder, but brushed off Tavi’s renewed concern. “It’ll be fine.”

It was. And the rest of the forges were shut down without incident or shenanigans beyond the few extra minutes it took to find the flame prism-key. Sure there were still blights to fight, but the rain ones were far fewer in number than the others. Probably due to that forge being set away from the others and thus catching fewer souls.

Much to Tavi’s relief, after they shut down the wind blight forge, thus ending its ability to team up with the flame blight one, there were no more tremors. They wouldn’t have to go deeper. With her and Edér both hurt--if only a little--and all three of them exhausted, that was a very good thing.

After confirming all the forges were shut down and blights destroyed, the souls  trapped in them hopefully returned to the Wheel, they made their way back to the surface. It took awhile; even directly and at full energy the stairs took over an hour to climb. Tired as they were, they stopped to rest several times, pushing their travel closer to two and a half.

“Charity, if I could steal you for a minute to take care of my arm proper?” Tavi hinted as they stumbled their way into Brighthollow. “Just real quick b’fore we all collapse from fuckin’ exhaustion?”

Charity nodded, taking the hint--”Sure”--and the two of them retreated to Tavi’s room as Edér headed for his former quarters, mumbling something about sleeping til his feet weren’t sore any more.

“Getting back to our topic from earlier,” Tavi began, sitting down and extending her singed arm for Charity to properly patch up. “I do think you should talk to him. Even if you aren’t completely sure of everything you want to say. If you know the basics, that’s enough for a start.”

“And if I’m not sure of even the basics?” Charity asked wryly, unwinding the old bandages.

“Figure those out first,” Tavi conceded. “I don’t want either of you gettin’ hurt.”

“That might be inevitable,” Charity muttered as she reached for soothing salve and new bandages, so quietly Tavi decided not to pursue it, before adding, “I do appreciate how much you care, and the advice you’re willing to offer, but I just don’t know-”

“Charity, lemme give you some advice,” Tavi cut her off, having an idea where she was going. “Speakin’ from experience here, there’s another fine line you need to worry about, aside form the one between real and pretend courtship. That’s the one between reasonable caution and cowardice. Shit, it took months and several times almost fuckin’ dying for me to tell Aloth how I felt about him. If you think you’re really fallin’ for Edér, fuckin’ tell him. If you aren’t and the courtship thing is getting awkward for you, tell him that, too. All the time I’ve known him, I think the only thing he appreciates more than honesty is animals.” She flinched slightly as Charity tied off the new bandages. “Just my two pands.”

Charity nodded tiredly. “I’ll keep that in mind. Right now, I need sleep before I make any kind of big decision.”

“That’s fair,” Tavi said. “Shit, you don’t hafta do anything til you two are back in Dyrford. Just think about it.” 

“I will,” Charity promised. She stood, collected the used supplies, and left the room.

Tavi barely managed to stay awake long enough to shuck her armor and send up a brief prayer her friends would stop being idiots before flopping in bed and falling asleep.

[49scribes-a]

{--Everybody in this stream was fucking HIGH.--}

He's either also cold or he's going through withdrawals, one of the two.

No he's having a seizure

STOP BOUNCING DEAK

All those burnt corpses look like bacon to me

Crispy dragon-charred bacon

Human jerky

I’d love some jerky rn

Id push you

BACKFLIP BACK FLIP

you're a COWARD. GO TO THE TOP

NO

EMBRACE THE JUMP

EAGLE JUMP

jfc

theres a hay pile at the bottom waiting to catch you. youll be fine

because physics works for you in this game

t his isn't assasin's c r e ed

yes it is. right?

Wrong game

that's what we're watching?

theres is clearly hay

i see parkor

hay and parkour= ass creed

exact

HRDCORE PARKOR

lavi looks like a hobbit ngl. i mean deak

hes gonna steal the ring from gollum

can u see the eye of mordor

hes carrying it

it is

jump. you'll live

Holy shit I survived

TOLD U

the eye of mordor is mobile now

it was great

7/10

TOLD U UR IL CHILD BEARING BONES WOULD CATCH YOU - THEYRE SPRINGY AND RESILIENT

U did it

congrdeurtions

am i having a stroke

Ashdjsjdk

idk - were all varying seconds behind of each other. so mavbe

Who keeps a deer pelt with bread smh

makes sense

That’s why they all sick in Skyrim

the deer pelt is surprisingly sterile

can't have the babes

its the most sterile thing in thie fucking game

you're right

i cant believe deak is aa hobbit

idk if its gonna keep your bread all spongy tho

just wrap it tight. it'll be fine

I mean it was stale so probably not

and your breads gonna tste kinda funny

tHTAT'S PRETTY

SKYRIM IS PRETTY

Noice

AESHTETIC

I CAN TYPE I SWEAR

straight up

r U havin' a stroke?

mE VISION KEEPS BLURRING

I wanna go somepe similar to skyrim, take up residency in n bandoned castle. spruce it up

go to europe

and then pretend im a ghost haunting it when visitor come

they have random "castles"

tHAT SKY THO

SCREEN SHOTS. NICE. GOOD CHOICE

I dont want [castles] I want C A S T L E S

we all have dreams

sweet dreams are made of thiiissss

My dream is to be able to spell astetic

who am i to disagree

you men bees

Asthmatic

mean*

travel the world and the seven seas

Jesus Christ

aesthetic?

Yes that one!

antsthetic

I wanna lick the sugar candy in the sky

Aesthetic !!

antstetic?antstatic?ant static

aunt stacy

A e s t h e t I c

that sounds like something Ant-Man would say

sunnylantern gets it = w=

DUN DUN DUN DUN DUND UN DUN DUN ANT MAAAAANNN H A

Why is that corpse thiccer then I am

duran duran hungry like the wolf

wait, I missed the corpse

we have to go back for the corpse

go back for the corpse, tho

leave NO man behind

you mean jeky

jerky*

no it's jeky

nO

okay, I thought I saw a shadow back there and it looked like a werewolf

we do not waste jerky

Bacon

Mmmmm Bacon....

bc u cannibals wanna eat them

it might have been

don't waste good meat

jfc

Meat is meat

meat is meat. yes

they dead they don't care

exactly

bacon is delicious as hell

MEAT MEAT MEAT

HEATHENS

sos jerky

ALL OF U

U'R A HEATHEN 2 DON'T PLAY COY

scuse you - were pagan

i'm an angel

sounds fake

idk what ur talking about

wOW

it does sound fake

Im pure so I mean

We're all heathens

sounds fake

we're all heathens yes

all my friends are heathens

take it slow

take it slow

(twenty one pilots voice) all my friends are heathens-GDI

TOO SLOW.

TAKE IT SLOW

LMAO

wait for them to ask u who u kno

please don't make

i forgot the damn lyrics

any sudden moves

any sudden moves

AAYY

pfffbbbbt

u don't know the half of the abuse

Y’all remember all that smh

XD

hell yeah man

it catchy

Can’t even remember my middle name

s AM E

same

adopt a child. it's time

tbh - replace remembering our names with more important infrmation, like musical lyrics...people use those alot

my middle name is simple as heck. it's only 3 letters

adopting children usually doesn't go well; just look at doug

dic

Hige. No.

ann

but

No

Mine is four and yet :->

dick:smiley:

mine is 5 letters

NO. Dicks.

mINE IS FOUR

yep, that's my middle name. u caught me

mines four too

Ahsjdjdjd

Maybe we all have the same middle name

i'm Liz Dick now

LMAO

Liz dick taylor

'cause we all have the same middle name

has a nice flow

it does doesn't it?

not me

i'm proud of my name

mine is 3 letters

naw. it's Dick now

its four now

Nope, it three

FINE. Dic

ass

U CAN BE THE HALF SSED DIC

there u go

Hjssjjs

oh yeaaaa

sounds like that's yours, isa

OOOHHH

wow

DANG

: )

SNAP

isa ass

isass

has a ring

ees ass

isa sass

Eat a ss

thees assthesis

isa's ass

prometheous

you're all terrible

w he e z e s

WHERE DO U GET THAT. FROM ISA ASS.

rhymes with thesis

prometheass

that name makes me uncomfortable

I want that as my new name

hahahahahah

Prod the a sa

i blame the movie and all the movies that's connected to that one. I get nightmares

don't worry i'll protect you

really tho, me middle name means darling in french so

aren't u special

i'm an angel

meanie

all of u can fight me

u'r an angle, isa

ur no angel, isa

My middle name is from my great grandmother

I was named aftar a slutty country singer. and a car

PHHHHTTTT

i was named after *no one*

a car and a country singer. fuck me

my middle name is Spanish

lucky

QUESO

i'm hispanic and my middle name ain't hispanic :confused:

UR MIDDLE NAME IS QUESO

THREE LETTERS, HIGE

KSO

3 LETTERS, HIGE

osHIT

I'm hispanic and all my names be hispanic

THAT HAPPENED

the kink cavern

the falling cavern

u and deak gonna kink it up in here

WHy

wait ....still children in this. nvm

because it's expected

Looks like stds grow there ngl

deak is a child. cover his eyes

WH A T. WHERE DID THAT GO TO. WHY IT COLLAPSE JUST NOW

See that’s the stds falling from the roof

you guys are behind me, my gosh. that happened like 10 seconds ago

too much sex in this ramshackle place

No one cleans that place

no one needs to. don't get paid enough for that shit

its the jizz....it gets between the cracks and degrades the foundation

between teh /cracks/

KEK

Can’t people f uck in the bed like normal humans

naw son. too vanilla, they get bored

i

omg

wow

Back in my day we used beds and called it woohoo

this is not SIMS

back in my day, we got in bed and wrestled

i'M CR YGIN

AGSHDJSJ that’s where all my sex ed comes from shdjsjd

Back in my day we fucked on the floor like REAL MEN

WHOA NOW. CALM URSELF

COVER THINE EYES, CHILDREN

Crying my lord

I'M TOO ACE FOR THIS

YOU BETTER BE PRAYIN TO UR LORD AND NOT CRYIN

back in my day, we walked 4 miles with ONE FUCKIN' SHOE

relatable

and we shared between 5 of us

Through the snow

ok but same

bc I ate the other shoe

gdi hige

hige thought it was jerky

I did

it was jerky

Must of burnt it

Anything chewy nd tough is jerky

ye bro. learn from hige

...skin?

def

ye

n o

y e

skin is the jerkiest of all

And I’m the one that needs to pray

and the people are jerky, too 'cause they're jerks sometimes

Take the pot

smoke the pot

^^^^to both

I mean-cogh

dO NOT SMOKE THE POT. JFC HIGE

taste the pot

smell the pot

be the pot

BE the pot, yep

be the pot

It’s pn legal now

why are you HERE

smoke that khajiit drug thing

why did you come back to the kink dungeon

DO IT

we're all pots now

i'm a potu'r a pot

we're all pots

or drink it, i don't remember what it is

moonshine

Does the room smell like pot?

I put a pot on me head and nw im a pot head

. . .

IT'S ALL OGRE NOW

I...

y did u make me read that with my own 2 eyes

wait wrong reference

NO

-leaves-

That’s a bad ref

i h8 isa

whe ez e s

Nasty

i'ms or ry

Talk about HEATHEN

go sit in the corner and think about what u've done

u'r no angel

they cant, the corners are mine. all of them

fuckin' share

u already knew this, liz

i did

I Still remember that video like tbwas uesterdyayb

lucifer was an angel too

Was

yesterday

T'was

luifer is still pretty hot I hear

Gdi

SHUT UP

-eye brow wiggle-

omg

hoNHON

EIFFEL TOWER

ur banned from my next stream, hige

BAGUETTE

NO TEW2 FOR YOU

EIFFEL TOWER

NO. PLS. ILL BE GOOD

BAGUETTE

The Eiffel Tower reminds me of something else but idk why

B A N N E D

ILL CALL YOU MASTER AND WEAR A SHOCK COLLAR AND EVERYTHING

goodbye hige

PLS

doug's got that eiffel tower dick. bye

-pBFT

that pill dick

Hm.

i'll see myself out

more like

Wait was there an anime with an Eiffel Tower :thinking:

there was a show with an eiffel tower. and a lady bug,and a cat, and moths

chaat noir

it was cray

Miraculous Ladybug

Nah thinking of something ten times as traumatizing

wow u guys got it

sCREAMS

y that

o 3 o

sCREAMS TOO

But it might of just been a Tower

I watch it every now and then

are u sacrificing deak to the old gods

and the new

the new season?

gotta go fast. gotta go fast

Are u making jerky

OH new gods

gOTTA GO FASTER FASTER FF -FF-F-F-F-F-FASTER

honey you've got a big storm comin'

SANIC X

I was singing that during one of my streams

u didnt stutter over the Faster part. it doesnt count

I did tho

i have to go make jerky

this music still makes me think of South Park Stick of Truth

pats gently

Sleep is for the weak

And i. Am v weak

whimps. sleep is for the dead

grnted. we are all very dead inside already so....

Guess y’all better get me a coffin then cause imma be sleep in an hour probs. Maybe two. Depends on how much my dog wants to piss me off tonight

SCREAMS THO I FINALLY GOT A FIRE STARTED AND IT CRASHED

LMAO

Rip fire

RIP KIT

no fire

It burned too bright

only suffering

tiger tiger burning bright

Face the dark and cold like a dragon

fuckin capitilism

U can do it kit. Build that fire

How do u skill up in camping ?

Desk looks short.

Deak*

no. hes desk now

he's always been desk

your kindling loks like dog turds

They do I know my dog turds

ive stepped in enough dog shit to know my turds

I’ve picked up enough dog crap to know mine

baaah

Except those look like old ones. All cold and dried out

why do u need the fire anyway

Warmth, light, happiness

DEAK WAS STRANGLING A RAT BEFORE IT CRASHED

Yuh oh

I HEARD ITS LIL ANGRY RAT SOUNDS

The rat crashed the game to live

Rat god

rat ruh raggy

Why kill a werewolf when u can date kne

This little meter shows wet and cold. Gotta keep em down.

thats bswe all know lavis always wet bc hes a horny rabbit

IAHSJSJSJS

I mean u know rabbits...

Wear a coat and u will be warm

gotta hump like theres no tomorrow

Sex keeps u warm..I think

Actually I don’t know:thinking:

id imagine to bodies that sit at 98 degrees F while doing nthing get pretty hot when pressed together and doing activities that raise your blod pressure

thats like a 400 degree sauna right there if my maths right. pretty toasty

....that makes me wanna never do anything cause Thats HOT

goodsex is bad - its how babies are made and we dont want none of that

Condoms are a thing

so are holes and accidents

Ajsjsjsj being gay means no babies

Why do u think Im here

W o w

U

bruh

They’re happy accidents

Tru, Hays where the other half of my sex ed comes in. One half is sims the other is p orn

they are good teachers. pornhub is good to us

Yeah on what not to do I found some kessed up stuff. That’s where I found that shrek video

Spongeknob squarenuts

I can honestly say I have seen worse. Anime p orn is another layer of hell

And then there were three

Wow what a cool dog

THE THREE AMIGOS. THE THREE MUSKETEERS. NOW WITH LESS BLACK SPOTS. or was that treasure island-squints-

That was treasure island

Wood looks so crunchy

I read moby dick, the three musketeers, treasure island, huckleberry fin, tom sawyer and a few others but. fuck me if I remember them in their entirety

I read that as “I read my dick” and I was very concerned

wood - the original forbidden fruit

DEAK GT TURBERCULOSIS

Is that a naked man

prbsi mean this is sex dungeon

My god. Worst kink

why two lil kids re crwling around it giving themselves aids is beyound me

This is the least sexy sex dungeon let’s be real here. No mood lighting, cold. No r and b music. Where’s the pizzazz

maybe they played music on the bones

Yeah cause that’s sexy//

it is if ur a skeleton fucker in the undertale fandom

Do NOT. I have nightmares about that fandom

I can no longer look at a naked anatomical skeleton in all casual and comfort anymore

Wow really just moved the money for that gold

Honestly seeing them with dicks that are blue and glowing is just. V bad. I have seen so many things. and every time I see an actual factual human skeleton now. its all I see

I’m glad are the men here in this dungeon are napping so well

and I am very uncomfortable with naked skeletons

Aren’t all.:.skeletons naked ?

Guess they are wearing skin...

Deaks hair is Cheeto colored which is honest such a look:tm: you rub your hand through deaks hair. your fingers come back stained with neon orange dust

Cheeto dandruff

whose playin the meat sticks again

what

i heard the meaty slaps

i still hear them

alright. go gather your quotes you quote whore