#the noble art of self destruction

[ds2mtoi]

『milgram』 a crooked melody.

i know someday the jury will call and they will say that i am a fraud, an impostor, a liar, deep down… i'll know that i agree with them.

[fullg4sly]

the noble art of self destruction - holding absence x 4 tracks

[waking-hell]

I could have just waited to turn cold But your love was a dawning inferno Blistering to touch But still, I couldn’t get enough

'Cause there’s warmth to be found in a fire Thaw me on the funeral pyre, And hang me out to dry Somewhere that I know she’ll find me

The sound of her wings, Beating rapid Distantly, I hear her call my name

I drop everything, ‘Cause I’m enchanted Desperately, I hear her call to me Through it all

[mmmmchestnut]

I made fan art for Holding Absence

[grigori77]

2023 in Music - My Top 5 Favourite Albums

5.  LONELY THE BRAVE – What We Do to Feel

The alt-rockers from Cambridge, UK have completed their reinvention after their post-sophomore record shake-ups with what is arguably their best album to date, a canny mixture of moody, anthemic guitar-heavy muscle and haunting introspective beauty.  Enthusiastically gruff vocalist Mark Trotter definitely seems to have really earned his place now after making an impressive debut on 2021’s similarly excellent The Hope List, taking what was already a strong band producing great music and helping to transform them into something truly special.

Standout tracks:  Long Way, The Lens, Our Sketch Out, Victim, In the Well, Eventide, Unseen, The Bear

4.  HOLDING ABSENCE – The Noble Art of Self Destruction

Looks like it’s third album’s the charm for one of the very best bands to have emerged from the 2010’s second-gen post-hardcore alt rock scene (which also produced my absolute favourites of all, Don Broco … but that’s a different story).  Following up in FINE FORM INDEED from their already MAGNIFICENT second album The Greatest Mistake of My Life, Cardiff’s (no longer) best kept musical secret have crafted a streamlined powerhouse of a record that’s all killer/no filler, perfectly showcasing their ubiquitous double-threat of blistering guitars and lead singer Lucas Woodland’s spectacular, nakedly honest vocals.

Standout tracks:  Head Prison Blues, A Crooked Melody, False Dawn, Scissors, Honey Moon, Her Wings, These New Dreams, The Angel In the Marble

3.  HOZIER – Unreal Unearth

The rightly beloved Irish singer-songwriter has returned with what is arguably HIS VERY BEST record to date, a brilliant ever-shifting musical landscape incorporating subtle, spellbinding Celtic-flavoured gentleness, ear-wormy pop-accented bops and bravely inventive experimentation.  The result is the year’s most effortlessly SOOTHING musical offering, which has done wonders to cheer me up every time I’ve put it on after a rough day.  But I still miss “the woo” …

Standout tracks:  De Selby (Parts 1 & 2), Francesca, I, Carrion (Icarian), Eat Your Young, Damage Gets Done (featuring Brandi Carlile), Who We Are, Butchered Tongue, Anything But, Abstract (Psychopomp), Unknown / Nth, First Light

2.  ENTER SHIKARI – A Kiss For the Whole World

The craziest rock band to have EVER come out of St Albans continues to blow me away with their fiendishly eclectic mixture of edgy post-hardcore grit and anarchic electronic-edged musical MADNESS.  This is BY FAR their most streamlined record to date (I can’t believe it’s little more than HALF AN HOUR LONG!), but in some ways also their most rewardingly EXPANSIVE, Rou Reynolds and co. once again playing in an arena of massive themes and making us think as much as they make us ROCK OUT.  More of this please, lads!

Standout tracks:  A Kiss For the Whole World x, (pls) Set Me On Fire, It Hurts, Dead Wood, Bloodshot, Bloodshot (Coda), Goldfish, Giant Pacific Octopus (I Don’t Know You Anymore)

1.  SLEEP TOKEN – Take Me Back to Eden

It’s fascinating to think that just a year ago I’d barely even HEARD of Sleep Token, and certainly wasn’t at all FAMILIAR with anything they’d done.  Then they dropped The Summoning and everything changed … less than 12 months later this is BY FAR the best record I’ve heard ALL YEAR, and as far as I’m concerned anyone who DOESN’T rate it at the very top of their own 2023 list clearly wasn’t paying attention (I’m looking as YOU, Kerrang!).  The mysterious Vessel and his equally unknowable fellow collective have crafted a work of unrivalled MAJESTY here, a little over an hour of pure sonic MAGIC which constantly flips between the hardest possible progressive metal and a dizzying myriad of other genres from its attention-grabbing opening to the heart-wrenching closer.  The end result is not only the best album of the year but a very strong candidate indeed for, potentially, my album of the DECADE.  Worship indeed …

Standout tracks:  Chokehold, The Summoning, Granite, Vore, Ascensionism, Are You Really Okay?, The Apparition, Take Me Back to Eden, Euclid

The ones that didn’t quite make the cut:

STONESIDE. – God of the Mountain (the Texan prog metalheads amaze us once again with their long-awaited debut album); PVRIS – Evergreen (multitalented musical genius Lynn Gunn delivers her most eclectic and full-on electronic alt-rock record to date); TESSERACT – War of Being (the latest offering from the endlessly inventive Milton Keynes prog metal maniacs just might be their best yet, and it’s DEFINITELY their most memorable); BABYMETAL – The Other One (quite possibly the greatest metal band to ever come out of Japan have done it again with another stone-cold banger of a record); STAIND – Confessions of the Fallen (one of the greatest secret weapons of the American post-grunge era makes their long-awaited return after a 12-year absence with one of their best albums to date)

Honourable mention:

EXPLORING BIRDSONG – Dancing In the Face of Danger

Much like with Sleep Token before them, I was genuinely ignorant of this emerging prog rock band from Liverpool up until mid-November, when Kerrang! Radio introduced me to them through their haunting cover of Deftones’ Diamond Eyes.  Then I did what I always do, see what else they’ve got knocking about on YouTube, and within two videos I was LOST.  Their second EP is completely fucking AMAZING, a magnificent musical adventure of pure imagination and experimental GENIUS which goes a long way to prove you don’t actually NEED guitars to rock out, lead-singer and pianist Lynsey Ward doing a genuinely beautiful job with just her keys.  All five tracks are absolute FIRE, but the undeniable standouts are Bear the Weight and the killer closer, No Longer We Lie.

[cursemewithyourkiss]

New Holding Absence album is absolutely insane. Now watch me writhe on the floor indeed

[newmusickarl]

5-9’s Album of the Month Podcast – Episode 7 Out Now, Episode 8 Coming Soon!

The August review episode of the 5-9 Album of the Month Podcast will be arriving shortly and as ever I will take a seat alongside 5-9 Editor Andrew Belt and Check This Out’s Kiley Larsen to review five high profile album releases from the past month in music, and ultimately name one as our Album of the Month at the end of the discussion.

For the upcoming August episode, the five albums we will be discussing are:

WEEDKILLER by Ashnikko

Death Is Nothing To Us by Fiddlehead

STRUGGLER by Genesis Owusu

The Death of Randy Fitzsimmons by The Hives

No Joy by Spanish Love Songs

If you want to listen to the July episode or any previous episodes simply click the link below, but also be sure to follow 5-9 Blog on Instagram and Twitter for more news and polls relating to the podcast, along with other great content like film reviews, sports articles and more.

Listen to the July 2023 episode here

Album & EP Recommendations

The Noble Art of Self Destruction by Holding Absence

Welsh post-hardcore outfit Holding Absence have been on an incredible run ever since their formation in 2015. Quickly garnering a legion of fans off the back of their epic self-titled debut and 2021’s bold, cinematic effort The Greatest Mistake of My Life, expectations were certainly high for this eagerly anticipated third outing. Simply building on what has come before rather than reinventing the wheel, The Noble Art of Self Destruction shows why Holding Absence have rapidly become one of the UK’s most heralded alt-rock bands.

Propelled by atmospheric sonic backdrops and Lucas Woodland’s passionate vocals, it’s a record simply packed wall-to-wall with the soaring anthems we’ve come to expect from Holding Absence. With each track seamlessly segueing into the next, it’s an expertly crafted rock record with highlights including recent single A Crooked Melody, heartfelt centrepiece Honey Moon and dramatic grand finale The Angel In The Marble.

Listen here

Still Love by Teenage Wrist

However, if you prefer your rock music rawer and scuzzier, then look no further than this third album from Californian duo, Teenage Wrist. Despite being around for almost 10 years, Still Love has been my first introduction to the band, leading to a thorough deep dive through their other two albums in early August. Whilst I’m not sure yet that this is their best record, I can say the pair of Anthony Salazar and Marshall Gallagher have certainly upped the scope of their sound on this latest effort.

Featuring a host of guest features from the likes of Softcult, Sister Void and Heavenward, the duo have stripped back the production and dived further into the grungier elements of their emotive sonic landscapes. It all makes for an enthralling listen, with the title track, Something Good, Cold Case and Sprawled just some of the highlights here.

Listen here

Hazeltons by Justin Vernon

When I first hit play on this project, I was pleasantly surprised with what was presented to me. It initially seemed like Vernon had finally come full circle, returning to the quiet ambient folk of his classic albums For Emma, Forever Ago and the self-titled Bon Iver record, after years of bold experimentation. However, what I soon found out was that Hazeltons is actually a project from way back in 2006, one that was originally granted a very limited release and is now being heard by the masses for the first time. So a new/old project if you will, with many Bon Iver fans only now discovering this batch of songs.

The chances are if you are a huge fan of those early Bon Iver projects, like me you’ll be blown away by this one. As Vernon’s inimitable vocals reverberate against the stripped-back acoustic arrangements, it offers moments of haunting beauty to the level few other artists can muster. Whilst early Holocene cut Hazelton offers a gift for fans and piano ballad Easy hits a hard emotional gut punch, the stunning, nearly 9-minute epic Song For a Lover (of long ago) is the undisputed star of the show.

Listen here

KEIR by Keir

From a timeless lost project to an outstanding debut now, and there were few more impressive first outings in August than this one from rising star, Keir. An artist I first discovered through Dot to Dot Nottingham several years ago off the back of his mammoth single Squeeze Me, the genre-defying singer-songwriter has only gone from strength-to-strength since then.

Now with this long-awaited debut finally out in the world, here’s hoping more people get to discover Keir’s unique ability to have you rocking out one minute then solemnly lamenting the next. This range of versatility is on full display across this impressive self-titled, from the dramatic opening crescendo of Lemonade to the seismic closing act of Shame. With the quirky, operatic Voices and heartfelt singles Time (is a healer), Say Love and Confession also standing out along the way, this is a huge pop debut that I just can’t stop spinning.

Listen here

UTOPIA by Travis Scott

Following the horrific Astroworld festival incident which saw 10 people die and hundreds more injured, rapper Travis Scott had rightfully been condemned for his crowd-antagonising antics that had played their part in causing this highly preventable tragedy. At this point I had assumed Travis’ career was over, but at the end of July he would release his fourth album and intrigue boosted by a wave of internet buzz simply got the better of me. Although UTOPIA is noticeably patchy and at times awkwardly feels like an attempt to reconnect with an audience that has rightfully left him behind, there are some fascinating moments to be found here too.

With a mountain of guest features including heavyweights like Beyoncé, Drake, Kanye West, Daft Punk, The Weeknd, SZA, James Blake, Kid Cudi, Pharrell Williams and many, many more, Travis pulls out all the stops here. With exquisite production and more than a few moments that channel Ye’s 2013 classic Yeezus, Travis doesn’t shy away on songs such as HYAENA, MODERN JAM and CIRCUS MAXIMUS. However, the album’s highlight for me is MY EYES, which is the rare moment in which Travis does openly address the Astroworld tragedy, with the song further elevated thanks to a couple of extraordinary features from both Justin Vernon and Sampha.

Listen here

Modern Day EP by Bloxx

And finally on the EPs front this month, London-based indie quartet Bloxx made their welcome return with their first new EP since 2021’s Pop Culture Radio. Much like their output till now, it is a collection of five songs that showcases the band’s talent for writing catchy hooks and memorable riffs, with the opening trio of Modern Day, Television Promises and Runaway particularly great.

Listen here

Also worth checking out: Sundial by Noname, Ooh Rap I Ya by George Clanton, Learning How To Live & Let Go by The Xcerts, Volcano by Jungle, Austin by Post Malone

Tracks of the Week

The Notion by Spector

A band that continue to do no wrong, 10s indie icons Spector recently released new single The Notion alongside a string of UK tour dates, possibly hinting that album No.4 is on the way. As ever it is Fred Macpherson’s poetically written lyrics that are the star of the show, with the poignant refrain of “There will be good days, but maybe not always” leaving a lasting impression. Also worth sticking around for a soaring guest guitar solo from friend of the band, Blood Orange’s Dev Hynes.

Listen here

Space Invader / Alphabet City by The National

The National’s ninth studio album First Two Pages of Frankenstein may remain one of this year’s biggest disappointments, but thankfully the band have shown signs of recovery with a pair of intriguing standalone singles. Alphabet City boasts some tender orchestration whilst Space Invader is for my money the best song the band have put out this year, a 7-minute tour de force led by some truly stirring instrumental passages.

Listen to Space Invader here

Deep In The Night by Future Islands

From the moment those opening synths chime in, it’s impossible not to get swept away by this dreamy new cut from Baltimore outfit Future Islands. Their last album, As Long As You Are, was one of my favourites of theirs to date and this latest single already has me anticipating their next record. Beautifully steeped in sentiment and carrying a natural timelessness, it’s an instant favourite in their catalogue for me.

Listen here

Punk’s Dead by SOFT PLAY

Five years since their last LP and one name change later, SOFT PLAY (formely known as SLAVES) finally returned this month and boy did they return in emphatic fashion. Propelled by surging riffs and frontman Isaac Holman’s anger-fuelled vocals taking aim at “PC babies”, the most pleasantly surprising moment comes when Robbie Williams turns up for a melodic cameo during the final bridge. Best experienced with this wonderfully OTT video!

Watch it here

Are You Awake? By Lauren Mayberry

Swapping pulsating electronics for a stripped-back piano ballad, CHVRCHES’ Lauren Mayberry recently released this stunning debut solo single. Subtly constructed yet still packing a powerful punch, it’s a noticeable direction change from her day job and an intriguing taster for her forthcoming first solo record.

Listen here

I Want To Be Your Only Pet by Bombay Bicycle Club

Due for release in October, the sixth album from Bombay Bicycle Club continues to be one of my most anticipated records for the final part of the year. This latest single has only heightened expectations further, thanks to some hypnotic vocal harmonies and some seriously addictive buzzy guitar riffs.

Listen here

Fire of Mercy by Hot Chip & yuné pinku

And finally this week, Electronic legends Hot Chip have recently teamed up with Malaysian-Irish producer yuné pinku for this blissful end of summer anthem. Typically excellent from Hot Chip, it’s a heartwarming track based on William Blake’s Songs of Experience.

Listen here

Also worth checking out: Ozone Scraper by DJ Shadow, iBD by Mac Wetha, Feels So Good by Haiku Hands, S’old by Taking Back Sunday, Headlights On by Wild Nothing featuring Hatchie

REMINDER: If you use Apple Music, you can also keep up-to-date with all my favourite 2023 tracks through my Best of 2023 playlist. Constantly updated throughout the year with songs I enjoy, it is then finalised into a Top 100 Songs of the Year in December.

Add the playlist to your library here

[cottagegorevampy]

so many people were crowd surfing and ending up on stage holy shit 🤧🤧 i have a ton of videos omg

holding absence concert today 🤩

[politemagic]

rip to my neighbors if they can hear my drunken attempts at hitting these notes in greta van fleet songs. josh kiszka i'm so sorry for desecrating your tunes bb

[fullg4sly]

holding absence x scissors from the noble art of self destruction

[beanytuesday]

Hey, I love your art -- I was wondering if you ever posted your illustration for Kafka's "A Hunger Artist" on here? It's really evocative and gorgeously framed, and I find myself thinking of it frequently!!

Thank you for the kind words. A Hunger Artist by Franz Kafka is one of my favorite short stories of all time, and it’s a very quick read. You can read it right here:

https://www.kafka-online.info/a-hunger-artist.html

Go ahead, I’ll wait here.

I’d like to take us opportunity to talk a little bit about the story, if I may.

Although there are a couple different interpretations of the story's meaning, it unambiguously read to me as an allegory for the plight of the creative, likely drawing from Kafka’s own experience. The ‘starving artist’ comparison is obvious, but there’s much more to it than that. In a departure from most other depictions in media, the plight of the artist is not depicted as something noble or redemptive, but as a sort of self-destructive madness. The hunger artist dies alone and in obscurity, his impact on the world ultimately being completely marginal and insubstantial. When questioned about why he chose a life like this, he reveals that he doesn’t even enjoy fasting, he simply couldn’t find any food he liked. That is to say, a true creative does not select this kind of self destructive lifestyle because they enjoy it; rather, it is because they cannot possibly bear to do anything else. Kafka himself, It should be mentioned, supposedly despised pretty much every job he ever had.

As some of you may know, I developed severe tendinitis a couple months ago. Mentally, September was probably the worst months of my entire life. I reflected on this story a lot –I had wrought my own self destruction, and for what? A couple of bucks? A few comics that i’ll become embarrassed of in a year’s time anyway? Unsure about my prospects for recovery, I became incredibly depressed.

But having been starved of the ability to write or draw, I had a genuine epiphany. Standing at the corner of Boston liquors in Allston, I resolved that I would muster the strength to endure this, regardless of how long it took, because what awaited me at the end was nothing short of the greatest prize a person could ask for: That very thing derided by Kafka –the life of an artist.

There is no greater pleasure than making art. I mean that genuinely, I mean that literally. No, it isn’t noble, no, it isn’t redemptive, but in a totally hedonistic and self-serving way it is simply the greatest thing that life can offer, ambrosia in the mouth, better than sex, better than drugs, better than anything that money can buy, and I feel pity for anyone unable to experience it. I am not being hyperbolic, I am not being metaphorical. I am stating this in the plainest of terms, having lived a life without it for the last couple of months.

So although my personal relationship to the story has changed in the past couple months, Kafka was right about one thing; nothing else tastes good, at least not by comparison. We must imagine the hunger artist happy.

[mumms-the-word]

Choosing to Live

Pairing: Gale x Tav (you/reader POV) Summary: Shortly after Gale decides to defy his goddess and not self-destruct in the caverns below Moonrise Towers, you turn and see him struggling with the conflicting emotional fallout of his decision. CW: death, suicidal ideation, panic attacks, survivor's guilt (implied), coercion (implied) A/N: I was inspired by @gangstagandalf's emotional fanart of Gale and Tav just after Moonrise. It's not quite the same scene as their art but I just couldn't resist writing my own angst version. Check them out, their art is lovely! @gangstagandalf I hope you don't mind if I borrowed a few of your lines from your original post! (Pic is of my tav Dani because that’s all I got) UPDATE: Now on AO3 woooo

You watch as the husk of Ketheric Thorm collapses at your feet, a hollow shell of dessicated flesh and heavy armor. You’ve done it at last—you’ve defeated the Bone Lord’s Chosen, the first of three enemies who have enslaved an Elder Brain through the power of some sort of crown it bears. 

At the thought of the crown, you turn your head, seeking out the person who had first pointed out the crown to you. It was the thing that seemed to wake him from his reluctant obedience to his goddess’s command. There had been hunger in his eyes, more than you’d ever seen in him before, and for a brief moment you had thought yourself and him safe from the commands of the goddess of magic and mysteries.

But then he’d steeled himself. You’d watched as he physically and mentally struggled with the weight of the goddess’s demands, preparing himself for what he thought was inevitable.

Death. Destruction. Catastrophe. But one that would supposedly thwart mass enslavement at the whims of an elder brain and three evil Chosen. A noble sacrifice, but one that would kill dozens of innocent lives, too.

You don’t remember what all you said in those panicked seconds between him making his decision and you being dragged into a battle against Ketheric. You recall, vaguely, that you had clutched his robe in your hands and told him you loved him. There had been other words, too, but they were lost to your memory. Whatever it was, it had been enough. Because as of this moment, the elder brain has disappeared, Ketheric is dead, and you are not.

Your eyes find him, your love, your Gale, standing on a far platform where he had climbed to better aim and prepare his spells. He stands, leaning against his staff, panting, staring at the lifeless and inert body of Ketheric at your feet, and then his gaze shifts to you. You, covered in your blood and Ketheric’s black, fetid ichor, in bone dust and illithid matter. You probably look horrible, you think. You know you should bend down to examine Ketheric’s body and see what the glowing stone in his chest is all about, but you can’t look away from your love. Not now.

Not when you were so close to losing him to his goddess’s arbitrary and cold demand. 

But you didn’t. He’s alive. He’s alive. The thought pumps outward from your heart, warm and reassuring like the blood rushing through your own veins, reminding you that you too are alive. Your only thoughts now are of closing the distance between the two of you and peppering his face with kisses, telling him how proud you are of him, how brave he’s been, how much you love him. But as you take a step toward his platform, a shift in him gives you pause.

He slowly kneels down, still leaning heavily on his staff, and for a moment you think he’s praying, in the same way Shadowheart kneels to pray to her goddess. But no, his eyes are wide, staring, unfixed, not closed and reverent. After a moment, he sits fully on the ground, his staff falling with a clatter against the surface of the platform, and he buries his face in his hands.

You go to him immediately, using a last rare scrap of magic to misty step directly onto his platform. He’s shaking with fine, shuddering tremors as you approach, your steps cautious and soft but your heart aching and yearning to rush over. You reach out a hand, your own fingers trembling as they hover suspended above him, and you whisper his name uncertainly.

“Gale?”

You hear his voice but his words are muffled by his hands. You bend closer, making out fragments as his words tumble forth in a soft, whispered babble.

“Oh gods, oh gods,” he gasps. “I nearly—I almost—I could have—the orb. What have I done—”

“Gale,” you say again, finally kneeling in front of him and laying a hand on his shoulder. He jolts at the touch, stiff and startled by you, but you don’t let it deter you. You squeeze his shoulder in what you hope is a reassuring touch, even as the tears threaten to choke you as you watch and feel him tremble. “It’s all right. We’re safe. My love, you’re safe.”

He lowers his hands, one clenching the fabric of his robe over his chest, his breaths coming shallow and quick. His gaze on you is so different than before, all the warmth and steadiness and gentle, shy uncertainty that came with looking at you replaced with abject horror and unfocused panic. You get the sense he isn’t really seeing you, but staring through you to some theoretical what-if nightmare. One where you didn’t make it out alive. 

“I very nearly killed us all,” he mumbles, still clutching his chest. "I nearly killed you."

“But you didn’t—”

“I was so close to—to—th-the orb, I could feel it stirring, like it wanted me to—” He breaks off, his hand tightening in the fabric of his robe. The mark of the orb glows faintly, the barest hint of illuminated magic threading upward toward his eye, casting an orchid-purple sheen to his dark iris. He bends forward slightly, combing a hand roughly through his hair and clutching brown and gray strands tightly in his fist, his eyes wide. You half-expect him to be sick as he presses his other hand flat against his chest, breathing heavily. “And now I’ve defied my goddess. I—”

He turns suddenly, sharply, twisting to prop himself up on hands and knees away from you as his body rebels against him and he retches. Very little comes up—he hasn’t been eating well since you first stepped into Moonrise and he found himself faced with the very real possibility of sacrificing his life—but his body shudders and bucks violently as it attempts to dispel everything inside him. Not just the contents of his empty stomach but the fear and loathing and terror too. 

You don’t shy away from him. You shift closer, sitting on your knees at his side as his body settles into little shivers, his hands pressed flat into the surface of the platform. Your eyes are burning with tears now and you want to sob, your heart shattering for this man, your love, your heart’s song, but you have to be strong for him. You smooth his hair from his face, fingers brushing against his sweat-slick skin, and you cradle his feverish cheek in your palm. You say the only words you know to say and you repeat them as many times as you have to before they break through the haze of his clouded mind and resonate within him.

“Shh. You’re safe, my love. I’m here. I’m here with you. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, my love. You are safe.”

He leans into you and you gather him in your arms, rocking you both gently as he rests his head on your shoulder and wraps his arms around one of your arms. His shoulder is awkwardly pressed into your chest and he’s half-curled into your lap, weighing your knees uncomfortably down into ground, but you don’t mind. Discomfort and awkwardness don’t matter. What matters is that he is alive and so are you. You remind him of that in words, in your stream of murmured comforts, along with all the rest. 

It takes several long moments for his breathing to even out again, and another few for him to finally rest against you without an errant shiver wracking his body. But he calms at last. The tears on your face have since dried, but your heart aches no less than before. To think that your love would suffer so for making the right choice—the choice to live—but to suffer nonetheless out of a sense of guilt and fealty to a goddess that had thrown him aside like a broken toy.

It fills you with an uncommon rage. The gods are ever cruel, but the goddess of magic—you dare not even give her the honor of her name in your own thoughts—she is among the worst in your eyes. Even now, as your love struggles to compose himself, it isn’t a goddess’s arms or a goddess’s blessing that are there to comfort him.

The arms that are wrapped around him are your own. The comfort you have to offer is that of warm flesh and soft breath, mortal and precious. And it is better—better, you tell yourself with all the prideful conviction of a mortal soul—than anything an immortal, unfeeling goddess could offer.

He finally stirs, straightening up to look at you. Or look at your shoulder, rather, unable to meet your gaze. His expression is hollow, sorrowful, but calm. You know the road to him accepting and finding joy in his decision to defy his goddess is not yet over, and the path ahead may still be thorny.

But at least he has the chance to try and walk that path, rather than ending it all here.

"Forgive me," he says softly. He seems to want to say more, but the words don't come easily. You shake your head, not caring what he's trying to apologize for.

"There's nothing to forgive, my love. You made the right choice." You caress his cheek, wiping away the grime and the tear tracks that have collected there. “I love you, Gale.”

He finally meets your gaze and oh, your love, he looks so exhausted. But there is a flicker of his old self still there, a warmth that is familiar in his dark eyes. You press your forehead to his, still caressing his cheek, and close your eyes. 

He’s alive. That’s all that matters. You can figure out the rest as you go.

“I love you, too,” he whispers.

You have to get out of here, out of this cavern of flesh and stone and brine. You have to face the problems of the world at large, the threat of the elder brain and more. You know that. But you steal a few more moments for yourself, breathing softly with Gale, treasuring every breath as though they were more precious than diamonds.

———

You set out to leave the shadow-cursed lands at what you think is dawn the next day. Even with the curse waning, it’s hard to tell the time with the sun still obscured. But the hope is that as the land fades away behind you, you’ll be walking forward into sunlight and not more night.

You and Gale walk at the back of your little group, your companions moving on ahead. With each step, the shadow curse lightens. There are hints and signs of new life all around, tiny green leaves fluttering against once-dead branches, thin shoots of grass poking upward from the cold, dry ground. It restores your hope for good things to come. Not just for these lands, but for you. For your love.

He’s been quiet since the fight against Ketheric. Contemplative. Thoughtful. You had spent the night wrapped in each other's arms, counting his every heartbeat and breath until you were pulled into slumber, suspecting that he had done the same for you. When you woke you both pretended that sleep had cured you of the previous day’s torments and used the task of breaking up the camp to travel onward as your distraction from your concerns. But you watched him across the camp anyway, a knot of worry in your stomach.

Sometimes, both this morning and in the moments traveling now, you see that hunger in his eyes as you did when he first saw the crown atop the elder brain. But sometimes you just see a lingering sorrow. You haven’t been able to bring yourself to ask him about it. Not yet. It’s enough that he’s here with you, and you trust him to speak to you about what weighs on his heart in his own time. But you still worry.

Just up ahead, the shadow curse seems to fizzle out entirely, like a fog that dissipates as the sun burns it away. Beyond the threshold is sun-warmed landscape. Though scarred by the smoldering and abandoned remains of the Absolute army’s campfires and shelters, nothing has ever looked so inviting to you before. You rush ahead, eager to feel the sun on your skin again.

The difference in temperature alone is enough to reassure you that the shadow curse is behind you at last. One second you are enveloped in the chill and dimness of the shadows, and the next you are warm and bright in the light of the sun. You pause just a few steps into the sunlight, stretching out your arms and lifting your face toward the sky, drinking in the warmth. At last. You feel as though you can breathe freely again.

You turn to smile at Gale, but he is not at your side. He lingers in the shadows, watching you. The shadow curse is like a sheer black veil between you, obscuring his expression slightly, but as you step closer you realize his eyes are glimmering with unshed tears.

“Gale?”

He blinks, as if awakening from the depths of his thoughts, and quickly rubs his eyes. “Ah…my apologies. Lost in thought, I suppose.”

You hesitate to leave the warmth of the sun, but you sense this is more important than sunlight. You step onto the threshold of the curse, reaching out a hand to him. You want to pull him out of the shadows and into the light with you. He stares at your hand a moment before taking it, but he doesn’t move. Like he isn’t ready yet. 

“Tell me what’s on your mind, my love,” you say gently. “Tell me how I can help.”

He opens his mouth to respond, but for the first time, words seem to utterly fail him. He swallows, gazing at you with a stricken expression, and tightens his hold on your hand.

“It’s simply…I am…in awe,” he says at last. “Of you. And I am mortified with myself. No, more than mortified. I nearly…”

You sense the flow of his thoughts instantly, your minds connecting via the tadpole, his thoughts unconsciously opening up to you. At first he resists, his mind shutting down like a trap to spare you, but then the shields waver and fall away, and you are pulled into his memories. You feel the struggle within him as he stares at the elder brain. You feel the heat and pain of the orb inside, as if reminding him of his purpose. You see yourself through his gaze, the fear and love warring in your expression as you beg him not to go through with his sacrifice. You feel the moment he makes his decision, his resolve hardening like steel in flame, only to shatter, brittle and broken, the moment the brain disappears, the pieces transforming into needles of doubt that bury themselves in his psyche, his heart, his body.

As the familiar, terrifying sight of the colossal avatar of Myrkul rises into your vision once more, for one fleeting moment, you sense the desperate desire to end it all now, to end the storm of uncertainty in your mind, the pain of the orb, the fear of disobedience, the exhaustion of facing another battle with impossible odds. For one fleeting moment, you consider letting go and letting the orb obliterate you and everything around you.

And then the connection ends, and you are left standing at the threshold of the shadows with Gale’s hand in yours.

“I nearly killed us all with one rash thought,” he murmurs quietly. “The thought of my sacrifice never left my mind, even as I swore to you I wouldn’t go through with it.”

He takes a shuddering breath and a tear drips down his cheek. You catch it with your fingertips as you cradle his face with your free hand, your heart breaking for him all over again. His tears prompt your own and you struggle to hold them back, for his sake.

“And now,” he says, his voice altered, thick with tears. He swallows. “And now I see what I fool I was to doubt. To doubt you and your wisdom. To wish for death so quickly.” 

He meets your gaze and you see a thousand words he hasn’t said yet there in his brown eyes. A hundred apologies, a hundred ways to beg forgiveness, a hundred confessions of love, a hundred praises, all about and for you. It’s a torrent of love and longing and guilt in his eyes and your knees nearly buckle at the sight of it.

“I would have condemned the brightest of stars to death,” he says. “I would have robbed the world of its greatest treasure. And for what?”

“Oh, Gale,” you whisper. You abandon the sunlight to join him in the shadows and embrace him, holding him tightly as he struggles to regain his composure. “No more. You made the right decision. You’re here with me. I’m here with you. We’re alive, my love, because of you.”

“But I could have—“

“But you didn’t.” You pull back to cradle his face in both your hands and wait until he’s looking you full in the face. You want him to see your own resolve, but also your love, your faith in him, your pride for him. “You chose to live, my love. That is the most important thing. That is all that matters right now.”

He stares at you, letting your words sink in, until at last he smiles. Though it’s still tinged with sadness and guilt, it’s genuine. It soothes your spirit and settles some of your worries. 

“I don’t deserve you, you know.”

You shake your head. This isn’t about deserving, but you know that’s a battle you won’t win here. Instead you kiss him, your lips soft against his, and you let that suffice for words for a moment.

When you finally pull away, he seems a little restored. The love is back in his eyes and his smile isn’t weighed down as it was before.

“I love you,“ you say.

“And I love you,” he responds. “Immensely. More than I scarce dreamed I could love anyone.”

“We will find another way to deal with the brain and quiet the orb inside you. Some way that keeps us both alive and together. I swear it.“

“I believe you.” There isn't a trace of uncertainty in his voice when he says it. “I want that more than anything.”

“Want what?”

“To live. With you. To see the dawn of a new day with you, the dawns of a thousand more days. To know that the road ahead, whatever it holds, won't be spent alone, because I'll have you by my side.” He pauses, as if a thought is only just now coming to him. “I can...I can have that hope, now. Thanks to you.”

You smile. You take both of his hands in yours and step back, placing yourself once more on the threshold between shadows and sun. “Then will you join me in the sunlight?”

He looks at you, then at the sunlit road beyond, and then back at you. He nods, letting go of one of your hands but tightening his hold on the other. “Yes. I’d love to.”

Without another word, he keeps his hand in yours as you lead him forward step by step.

Away from the darkness and into the light.

[writing-with-sophia]

30 writing prompts about dark magic

Write a story about a young apprentice who becomes entangled in a forbidden form of dark magic.

Explore the consequences of a character who uses dark magic to resurrect a loved one.

Create a world where dark magic is the only means of survival, and the protagonist must choose between embracing it or resisting its allure.

Write about a cursed artifact that grants immense dark magical power to anyone who possesses it.

Imagine a society where practitioners of dark magic are feared and hunted, and a protagonist must hide their abilities to survive.

Tell the story of a character who unintentionally unleashes a powerful and malevolent dark force upon the world.

Write a tale of a group of individuals who use dark magic for noble purposes, challenging the conventional notions of good and evil.

Explore the psychological toll on a character who delves too deep into dark magic and loses their sense of self.

Create a magical academy where students are taught both light and dark magic, and follow a student's journey as they grapple with the temptation of the dark arts.

Describe a character who discovers an ancient book of dark magic and becomes consumed by its power.

Write about a protagonist who must make a pact with a dark entity to save their loved ones, at the cost of their own soul.

Imagine a world where dark magic is the dominant force, and a small group of rebels fight to restore balance using light magic.

Explore the origins of dark magic in a mythological world and the tragic events that led to its corruption.

Write a story about a character who is wrongly accused of practicing dark magic and must prove their innocence.

Imagine a character who uses dark magic to exact revenge on those who have wronged them, only to discover the consequences are far greater than anticipated.

Create a protagonist who possesses the ability to absorb and manipulate dark magic, struggling to control their powers and resist its corrupting influence.

Write about a character who discovers a hidden society of dark magic users and must decide whether to join them or fight against their destructive ways.

Explore the moral dilemma of a character who uses dark magic to save lives but must sacrifice their own humanity in the process.

Describe a cursed forest filled with dark magic where a group of adventurers must navigate its dangers to retrieve a powerful artifact.

Write a story about a character who seeks out forbidden knowledge of dark magic to gain immortality but finds that eternal life comes at a cost.

Imagine a world where dark magic is outlawed, and a character becomes an underground practitioner, fighting against oppressive forces.

Create a protagonist who is born with an uncontrollable dark magic that threatens to consume them unless they find a way to harness and control it.

Write about a character who becomes possessed by a malevolent spirit and must find a way to break free from its control.

Describe a character who uses dark magic to manipulate time and alter the course of history, leading to unforeseen consequences.

Imagine a protagonist who discovers a hidden society of benevolent dark magic practitioners, challenging the notion that all dark magic is inherently evil.

Write a story about a character who accidentally curses themselves with a dark spell and must find a way to reverse it before it's too late.

Create a world where dark magic is a natural force that must be balanced with light magic to prevent catastrophic events.

Describe a character who must navigate a labyrinth filled with dark magic traps and illusions to reach a coveted artifact.

Write about a character who is born into a prestigious family of dark magic practitioners but rejects their heritage, choosing a different path.

Imagine a character who discovers a hidden library of ancient dark magic spells and becomes obsessed with mastering their power, regardless of the consequences.

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