#the nearest tim hortons is on the other side of this country | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jswdmb1 · 6 years ago

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You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet

“Here's something, here's something

your never gonna forget”

- Bachman Turner Overdrive

For months my 11-year old son has been lobbying to go to Canada on Spring Break. Since his sister seemed open to the idea and didn’t have a preference of her own, we obliged. I have been telling people that I have no idea why he is so obsessed with The Great White North, but that is a lie. He just may have got it from me. I too love our gracious neighbors to the north and they proved themselves once more on our trip there last week that they are the kings and queens of hospitality on this continent.

Now, before you go there, let me stop the thought that this is an anti-America opinion piece. I love my country and am not turning my back on it. Not especially now with the way things are. Running away and ceding it to whomever thinks they have more right to my home country is the last thing on my mind. No, this is simply a pro-Canadian rant. While it will never be my home, it will be a place I always treasure. And, I’m confident enough in the greatness of my land to admit there are a few things they do better, which keeps bringing me back:

Money - we may have the world’s preferred currency in the U.S. greenback, but the physical form of our money is lame. It’s all the same color, rips easily, and has absolutely no pizzazz. In Canada, you get brightly colored bills that are made out of a strong, waterproof type of paper some of which depict cool wildlife scenes. The best are the dollar and two dollar coins that depict loons (the “loonie” and “toonie”). They are also smart about it by having no paper bills under $5 and eliminating pennies all together (cash transactions are rounded to the nearest nickel). Only Canadians could put such a fun, whimsical spin on currency, and I love it.

Candy Bars & Coffee - forget Snickers bars and Starbucks. What you need is a Coffee Crisp and some Tim Horton’s. The former is the best candy bar on the planet. It is a series of thin vanilla wafers with a lightly coffee flavored cream in between them with it all covered in milk chocolate. That’s it and no other flavors or varieties of the bar exist and there is a good reason for that. It’s because you can’t improve upon perfection. Think a Little Debbie Nutty Bar with better chocolate and a hint of mocha instead of all that peanut butter. As for Tim Horton’s, calling it the Canadian Dunkin’ Donuts Donuts is unfair because it’s way better. Their focus is a good cup of coffee at a reasonable price. A large dark roast with cream runs about $2 CAD which is less than $1.50 in the states. It is a perfectly balanced blend half way between Dunkin’ Donuts and Starbucks (stronger than DD but without the bitterness of Starbucks). Plus you can get a box of 10 Timbits (munchkins) for another $2. Call it the Canadian Breakfast of Champions if you want, but I wish I could get it anywhere to start my day.

Progressive Rock Power Trios - this part of the post should be unnecessary but I hate passing up an opportunity to talk about Rush. I was about eight when a friends older brother played “A Passage to Bangkok” on his turntable. Later on, my first concert was when the Presto tour hit Alpine Valley and I have been a fan ever since. Their inclusion in the Rock and Roll Hall-of-Fame was long overdue, but anyone who is anyone knows that they didn’t need such validation to prove their chops. Plus, Geddy Lee was a guest vocal on Bob & Doug McKenzie’s “Take Off’ which just adds to their legend. Now go get your record player out and find a copy of Moving Pictures and jam to the sounds of the true North.

Football - everyone thinks America has a monopoly on the sport, but they have been playing it just as long in Canada with better rules. Bigger end zones with a field that is wider and longer. 12 men on a side and players on offense can sprint to the line of scrimmage before the ball is hiked. No touchbacks unless you are willing to give up a point (a “rouge”). And the best part - only three downs so you better not waste any of them with boring plays. All the teams play outdoors (Vancouver has a retractable roof but we’ll give them that) and the Grey Cup championship game is often played in the snow. Everything people love about the sport in one package and it’s labeled C-F-L. Oh, and they review pass interference calls so crap like that non call in the NFC Championship don’t happen. It’s basically NFL football but actually interesting and with none of the bullshit. You can have your Super Bowl, the Big party in my house will be to watch the Grey Cup on the fourth Saturday in November.

National Symbols - this will get me in trouble, but Canada has the best national symbols around. The maple leaf is a beautiful representation of the country at it looks perfect in red and white on the Canadian flag. As for a national police force, nothing is cooler than the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. And then there’s that anthem. I always love seeing the Blue Jays come to Sox park so I get to hear it live. Stirring, succinct lyrics sung to a soaring melody that make everyone feel proud of the country whether they are Canadian or not make it the best national anthem on the planet. And don’t let me forget Bob & Doug McKenzie. What better representation of what Canada is all about than those two. Just watch “Strange Brew” and tell me you don’t want to spend as much time as you can in the land of touques and back bacon.

Late Night Comedy Sketch Shows - if you think Saturday Night Live is the granddaddy of sketch comedy you need to get some copies of SCTV episodes. Far more original skits without the need to feel cool produced some wacky and fun comedy (that’s where Bob & Doug came from). The talent there was awesome as well - Eugene Levy, John Candy, Andrea Martin, Catherine O’Hara, Martin Short, Rick Moranis are just a few. The jokes can be on the dry side, but that is so Canadian how could it be any other way. SCTV finally hit the States in the early 80′s, but it didn’t stick around like SNL, which is too bad because outside of David Letterman, it was the funniest stuff on TV in the 80′s..

I could go on but I should probably stop. Given the current state of affairs here at home, my passport has probably been revoked. Just remember though, the south is not the only direction to go when on vacation. There is a wonderful world to be explored to the north of us with super friendly people, a fabulous culture all it’s own and a friendly exchange rate to boot. Just make sure to bring me back some Coffee Crisp bars. They are really hard to find in the States.

Take off,

Jim

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plogan721 · 7 years ago

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Distractions: Good or Bad (Part 2)

When we spoke last, I was talking about Distractions and how they can be good and how they can also be bad. Let me tell you of two scenarios (in no particular order):

The first one happened in 2015. A person was on their way to the last day of their event. The road was clear, and she had all the typical distractions in her way: Why was her hotel bill $356 (not an exact number but close)? Why didn’t she get up in time for the buffet? I wonder if Joann’s was going to have a good sale today? So, she hopped in her Honda Accord, she cutely (rather her sister cutely) named Jessica, after piling all her things in the trunk. No time to eat but will stop to get a donut. Went to the nearby, but realized it was too far out of the way, Tim Horton’s to grab a donut and ate it along the way. Made it to the exit and turned off the freeway. Got to the street, Dave Longaberger Way, and proceeded to go across, when bam, hit by a truck going in the opposite direction. The person survived, but the car was totaled, the engine, which could not take another impact force trauma from the year before, imploded, the fire did not reach the cabin of the car, and the car looked like someone gutted the hood area, while still looked normal from the back.

For those who have been reading my blog for a while know that this was my accident from 2015. The Lord spared my life and for that, I am truly grateful. It was amazing how fast I got a new car (new to me-used). Since I loved my Honda so much, I hated my Dodge Caliber for a few months after the accident. First of all, things, I NEVER get black cars. When I think of a black car, I instantly think, funeral car. I am driving a funeral car. You might as well change my name from Patricia to Morticia, LOL. Second, when I first started driving this car, I had to research it (after all, it’s my job), and it has no value. They stopped making them in 2013, and I have a 2008 car. So, screw the notion of me getting a 2018 because there are none and the car that replaced the Caliber, The Vie? Vision? Something like that had just retired itself. In 2016!!! I did not like the way the new car replacement looked.

Third, I hate the fact that I had the accident in the first place. Even though I had one little abrasion that did not completely heal until my follow-up mammogram (the doctor wanted to make sure it was not a mass), I was forever scared of making a left turn. I would freeze up. I still do, especially when there is a person behind me who is in a hurry. Not sure if that feeling would ever go away.

Next Scenario….

A young woman traveling on Rt. 270 hits a semi. The report does not say but to say that she was instantly killed. Her father is the local sports director/anchor for 10TV. What this message of distracted driving brings that since his daughter’s death, it has prompted Dom Tiberi to create Maria’s Message, where he speaks about distracted driving, which it does kill a driver. Millions of kids and young adults have taken the pledge. Not only do you have to be aware of your surroundings as a driver, but also as a pedestrian as well. He mentions things such as not using your cell phone, do not text while driving and other things that keep a person safe and well.

This was in 2013, and my accident, caused by me being distracted by trying to eat a donut in 2015 are not good distractions, but they teach some valuable lessons on how not to be distracted.

What are some of the Distractions:

First, a distraction is anything that takes your hands from the 10 and 2 positions of the steering wheel. Most of us (including yours truly) love driving with one hand. I am not sure what your reason is, but mine is simply because it feels comfortable, but if there is ever an accident, the police can blame you for not having both hands on the wheel.

Next, do you ride someone else in your car? Children who constantly scream at each other and at you, a carpooler who will not shut up, a nervous pet on their way to the vet, or a spouse telling you about their day. Yep, these are distractions too.

Finally, we all like a little music to pass the time away. A favorite song starts playing, and you start singing. You get a call in the middle of the song, and you must take it. They now have cars that allow you to text while drive by allowing the driver to speak into the speaker of the vehicle. Cool huh? Maybe. In a nearby town not far from my home, you are not allowed to touch your phone while in their city limits. Your hands are at 10 and 2, and you are not holding your phone, so you are good right? Maybe, it depends on what city, state, and country you are in.

Some of you are probably wondering if no one or nothing should be in the car with you at all times. no other persons (including children), radio, pets, nada should be in the car? Yes and no. You have to learn how to ignore them. For instance, when a child starts yelling at you, or threaten to toss their two-year-old sister out the window, nicely tell them to stop and if they don’t, you will pull over and make them walk home. My mom actually did that to my sister. Seriously! They were on the freeway near home, and my sister threw one of her 10-year-old tantrums. Mom told my sister to stop, nicely, and she did not. So, mom announced that she was pulling over. She talked to my sister again, who was not hearing it, then asked my sister to get out of the car. Once my sister was out, mom drove off, but she went to the nearest ramp, turned around and picked up my sister, who was stunned that mom would pull something like that. Did it cure my sister? Nope, not for a while, but all mom had to do was mention the words, “I am pulling to the side of the road”, then she would be quiet, and not say a word. This is why my sister’s children are so good in my car, today. I told them that story to them, and now I have good little riders. I know, bad Auntie.

I am still working on my Radio skills to not sing along. I am not perfect.

So, what is the lesson from parts one and two:

· Distractions good, bad, or indifferent and they are there rather you like it or not.

· Learn to work around your plans.

· If life happens (and it will), do not get mad because you did not get any sales from your Etsy shop, you cannot start on a project, or if you have to delay a massive clean-up job on your website or come home early from your trip because of an unexpected loss.

· ONE ANSWER: BUY AN ISLAND. LIVE ON IT AND HAVE ONLY YOU ON THAT ISLAND. The only problem is you will miss civilization. You cannot hide from life. You must go with the flow, deal with the distractions, smile and say thank you Lord when you get through it. There is another distraction coming

ARE YOU READY!!!!

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