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But what if it was all a dream

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At least Tango died doing what he loved, making perfectly cut-off cartoon screaming noises. RIP to a real one.

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for scientific purposes:

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i’m actually crying why is the bar so low 😭

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It really is wild that some politicians can stand there and say "yeah we're getting rid of a program that keeps quite literally millions of people alive specifically so we can cut taxes for people who are already richer than god" as if it's a normal political stance and not so cartoonishly evil I'm legit shocked perry the platypus doesn't break through the nearest wall the minute the words leave their mouth.

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Funny friends that make you laugh / And maybe you're just a little bit dappy

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I think I made this exact post before but every few months on social media someone will be like “OMGGGGGG I FOUND BONES BURIED IN MY CELLAR. I JUST CALLED THE COPS.” and the bones are so visibly (weathered) butchered cow bones or small animal bones. Not a single time is it a ‘they could be human…’ incident. Totally not the poster’s fault because I doubt the majority of people know human skeletal anatomy. Were people 120 years ago burying the remains of their barbecue rib dinner in the dirt floor of the cellar to freak people out in the future or something? No, but like, it seems like packing your walls and floors with trash was so common until like 30 years ago.

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dear god please let our new baby octopus feel confident enough to move out of her corner hiding spot today while i’m on exhibits so i can see her properly for the first time amen

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This "music" thing is insane

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woah you're gender fluid? that's so cool. *drinks u

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me: i don’t want to see jellyfish so i will blacklist the tag #jellyfish

people with no common sense: je11yf1sh, je11¥fi5h, j*llyf*sh, je//ÿf!sh, j3ï||yf¡sh, gel lee fisk

result: cannot account for the sheer amount of possible ways to alter the word jellyfish

conclusion: i have to see jellyfish now.

Once again, tumblr is not tiktok, tag properly.

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↖ this user has drank from the infernal river Lethe, which flows through Hades and brings total oblivion, eradicating all memory and thought

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I’m gonna make u forget how to read

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gimmick accounts are so fundamental to The Tumblr Experience

when i first got on i was like "why r there so many gimmink reblogs?? they're so random and annoying"

but now i see the light of day and theres a fishgiver! and a girl detector! and an alphabet counter! and a you-did-your-best-er! and Elvis Presly in a bunch of different flavors!

amd you're all goofing and gaffing and i want you to know that every time i see you my Whimsy O' Meter refills like a video game health bar

i larb you gimmick blogs <3

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Obama: U busy?

Harry: I’m shooting a perfume ad..

Obama: Is that the one i smelled on you last night? ;)

Harry:  Barack please……………i’ll see you later.

Obama: :D