#the narrator so respectful of pronouns. my king

[animation-is-my-jam]

GAY

[kusakabesimp]

In Defense of Kusakabe - Ch 253 and Analysis

We respect Kusakabe Atsuya in this house.  I've seen a lot of back-and-forth on this chapter, and I need to defend my King. So, let's get into it!!  Author's note: I intended this as a short post, but now it's a 1600-word dissertation, and I'm not even sorry. >_>

The chapter opens with a flashback with the narrator asking jujutsu sorcerers who is the strongest Grade 1. I take everyone at their word here: Mei Mei has praised Kusakabe's skill on multiple occasions, Nanami is known for his strong situational awareness, and Gojo is always brutally honest. They say he's the strongest Grade 1; I believe them.

Kusakabe has a reputation for downplaying his skills. We know he's confident; we've seen him hype himself up during fights, but he's not the type to brag about it. It's worth noting that he uses the masculine and assertive pronoun "ore" when referring to himself, in contrast to Gojo's softer "boku" and Nanami's ultra-polite "watashi." He has the confidence, but he keeps it subtle.

(Also, it's unclear who Usami is, but Atsuya probably knows this sorcerer well since he doesn't use an honorific when he mentions them.)

So, why defend Kusakabe?

There's a lot we don't know about Kusakabe's abilities, and what we do see isn't fully explained.  

He blocks Kenjaku's Maximum Uzumaki using a technique from New Shadow Style; however, the technique itself isn't named, and its actual execution isn't shown. Uzumaki caused massive destruction, leaving a wide zone of wreckage and a crater on par with Hollow Purple. Kenjaku wasn't holding back, so blocking his attack would have required a huge amount of strength and cursed energy.

And speaking of Kenjaku, he goes so far as to compliment Kusakabe on his technical skill, saying, "It's nice to face someone with a little know-how." This is a rare moment of praise from someone who considers all sorcerers garbage. This alone speaks volumes.

Simple Domain and the fight with Sukuna: there is a lot to unpack here. Simple Domain has different rules and applications depending on who is casting it and who or what is affected by it. The primary purpose is to neutralize the one-hit effect of Domain Expansions, but Kusakabe isn't using it as a debuff for Malevolent Shrine. Instead, he uses it because he knows Sukuna's Cleave/Dismantle can work outside his DE as a standard Cursed Technique. Kusakabe's Simple Domain is designed to cancel or at least lessen the effects of cursed techniques, making this a perfect application in a hand-to-hand fight to minimize damage or protect an ally. Kusakabe later confirms that getting hit by Cleave or Dismantle at point-blank range is a guaranteed fatality. Yet he didn't die. Even with the protection of Simple Domain, there's something else in play beyond what we're seeing. And considering the versatility of Simple Domain, it's almost guaranteed that Kusakabe can use it in several other ways we don't know about.

Kenjutsu: I've heard people describe Kusakabe as a modern-day samurai, and that's an accurate comparison. Kusakabe is highly skilled in New Shadow Style sword techniques, the style itself based on an actual kenjutsu style known as Shinkage-ryū. So far, we've seen only one of these techniques, Battō. This is an iai sword drawing technique where the katana is coated with additional cursed energy, allowing it to be unsheathed and wielded with lightning-fast speed. I say 'additional' because Kusakabe's blade is always imbued with his energy, but this technique has an extra push. We see the beginning of another iai technique called Yūzuki (Evening Moon), but he's interrupted before he can draw. He seemed excited to use the technique, whatever it was. It's worth noting that both of these techniques parallel the Shinkage-ryū school emphasis on using low stances to protect the body while simultaneously using the legs to increase speed and power. The goal is to respond to a situation as quickly and efficiently as possible, the philosophy of 'the sword cuts only once.'  Killing or cutting with one strike takes extreme precision and skill. Given that he's a master of New Shadow Style, there are definitely other iai techniques we haven't seen yet.

We know he's incredibly fast. In Chapter 246, after Higuruma's Deadly Sentencing fails, Sukuna returns to using Cleave and Dismantle. Despite being on the opposite side of the battlefield, Kusakabe managed to shield Higuruma from the attack. He was already moving in that direction before Sukuna used his cursed technique, but it's still impressive that he outran the fastest attack in JJK while simultaneously expanding the radius of his Simple Domain to include Higuruma.  

Soul Exchange CT: In Chapter 222, Yuji and Kusakabe switch bodies/souls. The switch is confirmed both in the dojo and in an aside where Kusakabe expresses his enjoyment of being in a younger body; outside of that, we don't know anything about this technique. It never reappears in the manga, and Gege doesn't explain how it works. Like with Simple Domain, each sorcerer has their own specific rules for how the body and soul interact and how their cursed technique ties into one, the other, or both. It isn't clear if Yuji inherited this technique or learned it, but there's no doubt that he mastered it under Kusakabe's guidance. It's worth considering the possibility he may have even learned it from Kusakabe himself. Gege left this scene intentionally vague and confusing, along with the many times New Shadow Style techniques are described only as "forbidden for outsiders." There are too many unknowns to rule it out.    

Other things that work in Kusakabe's favor:

The man KNOWS sorcery. He has extensive knowledge of cursed techniques, domains, and the uses and effects of cursed energy. This was made abundantly clear in the Sukuna vs Gojo fight, where he helped explain what was going on (because, let's be honest, even we weren't sure what was happening). Kusakabe's working knowledge is invaluable, which is one of the reasons he's a great teacher. Gojo is also an exceptional teacher, but he's on another level altogether and doesn't know the more practical aspects of sorcery that Kusakabe excels in.   

He's an excellent tactician. He played a crucial role in pre-planning for the Sukuna fight, creating backup plans for the backup plans. When things went sideways after Gojo's battle, he stepped up, and the other sorcerers followed his lead. He's a valuable source of guidance on and off the battlefield, identifying an opening, hitting strategic cues, and re-directing resources to support allies. He's also demonstrated an exceptional ability to adapt plans and strategies on the fly.  

So that brings us to the last panel -- where he's staring down at The King of Curses, asking himself if he's willing to fight. A lot of people say no, he won't, and brand Kusakabe as a coward, but I don't follow that train of thought. There is no doubt that he will risk his own life for those he loves, and he has proven that time and time again.  

He frees Panda from the isolation cell, and though he claims it's a way to repay Yaga for helping his sister and nephew, it's evident from other moments in the series that he holds a deep affection for Panda that extends beyond mere obligation.

A man who refused to enter platform BF5 for fear of encountering a special-grade curse later jumps in front of a special-grade technique cast by a special-grade sorcerer to protect Miwa.  

On multiple occasions, he tells Higuruma that he will do everything in his power to protect him, even if it means giving up his own life. He doesn't hesitate to jump in when he sees Higuruma struggling to keep up with Sukuna in hand-to-hand combat, shielding him with Simple Domain. He also sends Yuji to support Higuruma when he cannot do so himself.

Everyone seems to be forgetting that Kusakabe chose to be there; he's already been fighting, and he's still there. He made it clear that only those with RCT, those who wanted to die or didn't mind dying, should be the only ones going to confront Sukuna. Some sorcerers didn't go, but Kusakabe did. When he isn't supporting others on the battlefield, he's leading the teams on the sidelines, adjusting strategies and coordinating the next round of attacks. He wants to be there; otherwise, he would have left long before things reached this point.

There is no way of knowing if Kusakabe will win; I've given up trying to figure out how Gege's mind works. But I know he will fight.  

Need further proof? Let's zoom in on that last panel.  

When drawing a katana, the sheath is positioned at an angle across the body, and the tsuba (handguard) is aligned with the center of the body. The sword is released from the sheath by pushing up on the tsuba with the non-draw hand and pulling it up and out with the draw hand. The index finger is relaxed until the sword reaches a point where it can be rotated for the cut.  

Even as Kusakabe thinks, "Is this really happening?" he's already decided to fight and is drawing his blade.

Whatever happens, we respect Kusakabe Atsuya in this house.

[urconductor]

#URCONDUCTOR; indie roleplay blog for pom-pom from honkai: star rail, written by ender. canon & headcanon-based. please read rules before interacting!

DOSSIER. (tbd. pom-pom is an adult and goes by they/he pronouns tho)

RULES BELOW CUT.

Hello, hello! I’m Ender, an adult and an extroverted gal with autism and ADHD. Thanks for taking the time to read this! There’s no password to send in, so no need to look for one! Please read these carefully. Be 16 or above to interact.

BLACKLIST: TRIGGERS. i NEED these tagged. i have a physiological and psychological response to these topics that can greatly affect my mental health. if you can't respect my triggers, we cannot write together. My catch-all tags are "ender dont look" and "ender don't look".

any religious themes, emphasis on them when they're minor, and/or religious intolerance.

use of the word “god” in reference to powerful beings. Replacing such things with “ruler”/etc and generally making relations akin to king/subjects are good buffers that I can work with.

excessive verbal swearing

craneflies and daddy-long-legs

Extremely heavy organic gore visuals, especially in regard to organs, guts, and the heart

vi.vziepop, good omens, supernatural, c.ult of the lamb

BLACKLIST: SQUICKS. i'd appreciate these being tagged as well, but they do not spawn a severe reaction from me. i just want to avoid them.

any deep, in-depth descriptions of non-fantasy occult/magic + occult in general (like direct mentions of ouija boards, details of rituals, and stuff)

all smut and lewd content

politics/drama

TAGGING. I tag writing and fictional-related talk of potentially triggering topics as #trigger cw. various medias are tagged as #media cw. If I miss anything or you need something tagged, please tell me in DMs! i’m happy to help you curate your experience, and i want everyone to stay safe. /gen

INTERACTIONS.

non-roleplay blogs, please do not reblog any of my posts. if it's someone else's art/musing/photo/etc I've reblogged, those are free game! but please do not touch posts made by me whether they are in-character, out-of-character, or just my sketches. thanks!

I am mutually exclusive but am generally super friendly! I'll give nearly everyone a chance, even if I don’t know the muse or media! Crossovers, even with no plotting beforehand, are really fun.

i require a rules page to read before I follow, and won’t follow until I’ve read the rules. I tend to like promos to bookmark them so I can read the person’s rules later.

i won’t follow people who do not tag any of their posts. even basic “ic” or “ooc” or “musing” tags and such are good! I don’t care how fancy or simple your tags are, I just care that you have them and use them consistently.

i am duplicate and OC-friendly! For OCs, I require at least a simple About page to look at ‘cause I prefer to know your character a little before interacting! Duplicates are also fun for me to plot with ‘cause past/future meetings, AU meets canon, etc. are SUPER epic plots and very fun! I’m very used to duplicates and have been for years across different RPCs ^.^

i do not roleplay in “character: text” or *action* format. I prefer to interact with people who roleplay paragraph style and have a basic grasp of grammar, punctuation, and spelling; I completely understand if English isn’t your first language, though!

i do not mind unplotted violence against my muse, especially if they're messing around and finding out. however, make sure you are also prepared for the consequences. I love action and battle threads, but anything significant must be plotted.

MUN POLICIES.

Mun does NOT equal muse. Just because I, the mun, think or know something does not mean that my muse will. I’m an omnipresent narrator, they are characters in-universe. They each will have different thoughts and opinions than I will. It should go without saying that I do not condone everything any of my muses do.

i am a slow writer. I have college and several other things that take up my time, so I can’t be here twenty-four-seven! Also, my muse fluctuates. I may reply to something instantly if I have the muse for it, or I may get to it weeks later. I hoard drafts and asks like a dragon to get to them eventually! BUT feel free to nudge me if you want to remind me, I won’t mind!

importantly, I match my partner’s energy. If someone frequently engages me to talk about our characters, I’m likely to do the same! Unfortunately, the same applies if we hardly interact or talk at all; I’m good at interacting and communicating first, but I have a limited pool of energy.

i do not ship romantically on this blog. I don’t mind others’ romantic content, I simply personally abstain from writing romantic ships due to being harassed over them in the past. However, I love familial ships, platonic ships, rivalries, work relationships, enemy/antagonistic dynamics, and relations that can't necessarily be defined with words!

ON FANDOMS & MEDIA.

Expect headcanons to sometimes fluctuate and also expect canon divergence.

i am unaffiliated with any fandoms or creators.

i will interact with/make AUs for the following fandoms. Still, they can be tagged upon request: Final Fantasy(i know the most about VII, VIII, IX, X, XV, Unlimited, Dissidia, Dissidia 012), Sonic The Hedgehog, Pokemon, Portal, Gravity Falls, Ducktales 2017, A Hat in Time, Little Nightmares, Over The Garden Wall, OMORI, IB, The Legend of Zelda, Don’t Starve, Pocket Mirror, Super Mario Bros., Spiderverse, and Overwatch. I am very selective but not opposed to Five Nights at Freddy's, Murder Drones and The Amazing Digital Circus interactions. For these, if I followed you first/we’re mutuals, then we’re chill!

[c-is-for-circinate]

Okay! I did it! I renewed my library card after a pandemic-and-then-some's worth of years, and I read now.

Which I think means keeping a record or something, probably. If only to keep track of things I do and don't like, for future reference!

Books I've tried to read in the past two weeks, in roughly chronological order:

Gideon the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir -- never have so many people whose taste I respect disagreed so forcefully on a work of fiction. Plus I had a free epub of it on my harddrive from a Tor thing ages ago, so it seemed like a good place to start. I found it genuinely enjoyable! Gideon was a fun headspace to follow along, and while I absolutely did not go in expecting 'Agatha Christie locked mansion murder mystery, with lots of bones', I was down for it when it happened. A solid choice.

Tooth and Claw, Jo Walton -- DID NOT FINISH. Another random free Tor download. Got about a chapter in and then decided that there was too much cannibalism going on in the weird Regency-esque dragon religion for me, thank you no.

The Way of Kings, Brandon Sanderson -- DID NOT FINISH. I was sad to not like this one! Tumblr keeps raving about Brandon Sanderson! But man, once you've hit the fifth chapter in a row (sorry, third chapter, there were two prologues first) with a brand new narrator, and one of the previous narrators is dead and you're pretty sure you'll never see two of the other POVs ever again, and you've had three timeskips and you're a hundred pages in and maybe the story is finally actually starting, and there have been a whole two female characters so far (well, one female character and one 'sprites aren't supposed to have gender but this one has boobs so I'll give her female pronouns') and we're supposed to like this one because she's Inappropriately Witty in a way her brothers like but her nursemaids scoff at, which mostly seems to consist of arch remarks about how men don't want to date her...big nope!

A Dead Djinn in Cairo, P. Djeli Clark -- A fun (queer) detective novella, prequel to one of this year's Nebula novels. The worldbuilding was very cool -- 1912 Cairo in an alternate history where magic has recently entered the world, very very grounded in its place and period while doing interesting things with magic and djinn. The mystery felt pretty bare-bones and formulaic in itself, but it was a short novella, without a lot of space for twists. An easy read, and you've got to love a dapper lady detective in a suit.

Harrow the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir -- I am now officially Up To Date with my various tumblr friends who raved about these books. I enjoyed it! I enjoyed it slightly less than Gideon, I think -- I liked a lower percentage of the characters, and the ones I liked were present a much lower percentage of the time, plus Harrow is just so miserable for so much of the book that it's less fun -- but 'enjoy' is slightly different than 'appreciate', and I did very much appreciate it. Not going to go rabid over the series any time soon, but I'll probably check Nona and Alecto out when they happen.

The Wolf of Oren-Yaro, K.S. Villoso -- DID NOT FINISH. Oof, another one I wanted to like, a random browsing pick when I went to grab a hold from the library. The protagonist of this book feels incredibly realistic and relatable as a woman who got married young to a man her family chose, who fucked off and left her with the kid and the family business after an argument, and then showed back up after five years with divorce papers because he wants his 50% of the communal property she's been taking care of the whole time. Which is cool! Unfortunately, said 'communal property' is an entire kingdom, and the protagonist makes zero sense as a queen. She's BAD at her job, in a way that could be interesting to explore as part of her youth/shitty support network, but it really feels like the author does not get just HOW BAD she is at her job. Or what basic logistic decisions could have been made to imply that the progatonist or literally a single member of her staff were even marginally competent. This could be a great setup for a novel about a merchant or a homesteading farmer or a clan leader, but it flopped hard for me.

A Master of Djinn, P. Djeli Clark -- Sequel to the aforementioned novella, and Nebula award winner! This one was, like its prequel, fun, and the imagery and really excellent worldbuilding is 100% its best part. It's very much a detective novel, with certain conceits. None of its characters are particularly layered, everybody is improbably good at sword-fighting, and there was definitely a point at which I was tallying up just how many different incredibly dapper, well-tailored suits in dazzlingly fashionable colors our heroine had worn so far, apparently bought on her civil servant's salary. But at a certain point, you just open yourself up to the joy of an extremely dapper lady detective with a sword cane and a bowler hat and an Extremely Hot Girlfriend who is sometimes a thief. There's an underground jazz club which functions as a speakeasy for no apparent reason but features a brass band direct from New Orleans. At one point Kaiser Wilhelm II shows up. There may or may not be a mecha. Again, the mystery itself is nothing to write home about (a lot more intricate and interesting in the middle than the prequel but still somewhat predictable in bits, and the bad guy at the end was pretty obvious), but the book is fun. Shouldn't dapper lesbian lady detectives get to have that?

In Other Lands, Sara Rees Brennan -- I enjoyed this way more than I expected! I read The Demon's Lexicon years ago, and was DEEPLY unimpressed (I mostly remember it as a mediocre British Supernatural AU made more boring by the process of filing the serial numbers off), but it looks like Brennan and I have both grown as people, because I liked this a lot. It sidesteps the low-hanging fruit of 'why do fantasy lands always need kids to save them? isn't that kind of fucked up?' and goes right for the throat of 'what the fuck kind of sociopolitical system is implied by this child soldier bullshit in the first place, and why is it so easy to be okay with it?'. I found the whole elven reversal of gender tropes grating sexism somewhat wearing, but I liked Elliot as a protagonist a lot. Here's a kid who knows down to his bones that he's bad at people, that he's abrasive and mean and judgemental and impatient, who still values people on just the most fundamental level. Kid's got a -2 to charisma and is still the party face because he's the only person in the entire system who wants to talk first and stab never. I appreciate that, and I appreciate him.

The Unspoken Name, A.K. Larkwood -- An interesting book! I read the whole thing and liked most of the beginning third and most of the end third a great deal, and the middle third well enough with a smidgen of 'I'm a little too ace for this, the Love Interest showed up and it's boring now'. It's a story about...isolation? Abuse, but not the kind that recognizes itself as abuse. In some ways the story feels very scattered, thematically -- a lot of theme going on but I'm not sure how much some of it actually resolves -- but I did really like it. Most of the relatively few relationships in this book, be it friendship or co-worker-ship or acquaintanceship or even just the relationship of a person to a place, are brief and thin, negative or unhealthily one-sided, or just absent, which isn't exactly my taste but does make Csorwe and Shuthmili's mutual understanding the sweeter for it. Fans of Gideon the Ninth would probably like this, although it felt a little less original than I think it might've had I not read that first, and the interplay of traditional fantasy language and extremely casual modern talk felt a lot more uneven. All in all, I think it's a rec if you're into vague unsettled feelings about gods and stories that are more about learning to stand up and leave your abuser than about said abuser ever getting any sort of comeuppance in return. Plus, stubborn lesbian orc girl with a big sword, always a plus.

I have a pile of recs from my last post! I will continue to collect recs! Toss 'em my way, I'm beginning to remember that, oh right, last time I regularly read books I read them voraciously. This is FUN.

[silverbastardgoldenfool]

Realm of the Quarantine Reread End-of-Book Questionnaire: Assassin’s Quest

Any differences between your first/previous reading experience and this one?

Keep in mind I’m writing this months after finishing the book lol (it’s mental illness innit). I have LOTS of notes to go off but yeah, things aren’t as fresh in my mind overall. With that said the biggest difference I can think of between my first and second experience with AQ is my feelings towards Kettricken. I think the first time around reading you know that Fitz is an unreliable narrator but you are still limited by his viewpoint so you can get a bit trapped seeing things the way he does. For this reason, I think I pretty much just forgave Kettricken when he did on my first read, whereas on this read I was like……. Waiting for her to actually apologise and show some sympathy towards Fitz and it just…. Never happened.

Like, don’t get me wrong, I still love Kettricken as a character and I fully recognise that she has been traumatised. I don’t expect her to be nice or act rationally, and in the case of being willing to take Nettle for the crown… It’s cold but she’s doing what she feels she has to. My issue is - do what you have to, but don’t expect Fitz to understand or forgive you (same with Starling). But I think what bothered me the most was how Kettricken would constantly confide in Fitz and break down to him and he was always there to let her do so, yet she NEVER gives Fitz the chance to do the same. The one time he does “open up” in a sense is when she forces him to air out his traumas in front of everyone, and she didn’t show him any sympathy for what he’d been through then or later. She has been through hell, absolutely, but while her plight may not have been any better than Fitz’s it certainly wasn’t any worse. She pretty much had two modes in this book: completely cold or a crying wreck - but she was only ever crying for herself. She lets Fitz console her but she never consoles him. Again, this is a result of her own trauma and I don’t expect her to act any differently, but it just reaffirmed for me that while she and Fitz care for each other deeply it is not an equal relationship. Fitz feels an obligation to serve her and she - knowingly or not - takes advantage of that. Like, after realising that this is their dynamic it is so obvious that the same is true in Royal Assassin as well, and it will be interesting to see how it changes (or doesn’t) in Tawny Man as I don’t remember it well enough to say.

Must reiterate: Kettricken is still a great character and I still have a lot of respect for her, unfortunately she just falls into the overfull camp of people who love Fitz but have an unhealthy power dynamic with him.

The other big difference I noticed was that the Verity stuff just wasn’t as devastating this time. Not because it was any less sad but it just didn’t tear out my heart like it did the first time. That’s not a fault with the writing at all, I think it’s just the fact that, knowing what would happen to Verity and that we wouldn’t see the real Verity again, I kind of already let go of him at the end of Royal Assassin.

Something you can’t believe you forgot

I guess more of a misinterpretation/wishful thinking but like, realising that there is no passage explicitly stating that Fitz and the Fool were actually spooning in the mountains murdered me and spat on my corpse.

Oh also!!! Fitz yeeting himself out the window at Tradeford castle jskaskjf

Favourite character introduction moments/scenes

I love Kettle in general and the way we’re introduced to her as a cranky old lady sets her up perfectly

Favourite character arcs

Man they’re all so fucking sad lol but I guess the Fool? He goes from thinking Fitz is dead and his purpose failed to reuniting with Fitz, their relationship growing into something really real for the first time, and actually completing his mission - at least for now lol. This book is really the first time you get to see the Fool be properly vulnerable. Even when he was getting beaten up by Regal’s guards he always had his veneer of snark and superiority to hide behind - and I doubt when he went through his sicknesses at Buckkeep he would have revealed his weakness to anyone in order to be helped. But in the mountains he lets so much of that facade of the King’s Fool fall away - at least when it’s just him and Fitz. When he and Fitz meet again he lets Fitz see his grief and pain and hopelessness and joy as the Fool looks after Fitz, and then later when it’s the Fool who needs looking after he lets Fitz look after him. When was the last time the Fool had anyone really care for him like that, ya know? Had someone protect him purely out of love? Ouch dude!!!!

Also he gets to kiss Fitz at the end so good for him!!!!!!!!!! Be gay ride dragons!!

Favourite quote/s

“I would kill Regal. It only seemed fair. He had killed me first.”

“I had looked into the heart of my enemy. I still could not comprehend him.”

“The more I drank, the less tolerable my situation seemed. And the more intolerable I became to my friends.”

“I had never thought to be disdained by a tree.”

“The Fool, the Fool, only the Fool. I sought for him. I almost found him. Oh, he was passing strange, and surpassing strange. He darted and eluded me, like a bright gold carp in a weedy pool, like the motes that dance before one’s eyes after being dazzled by the sun. As well to clutch at the moon’s reflection in a still midnight pond as to seek a grip on that bright mind. I knew his beauty and his power in the briefest flashes of insight. In a moment I understood and marvelled at all that he was, and in the next I had forgotten that understanding.”

“When you can either laugh or cry, you might as well laugh.” - the Fool

Favourite relationships

Fitzandthefoolfitzandthefoolfitzandthefoolbahslbghabfhalgngjba 

Also fitz and nighteyes (speaking of which, Nighteyes’ arc in this book is also fascinating and surprisingly complex) and Fitz/Nighteyes/Fool mwah magnifico chef’s kiss

Favourite setting

Kelsingra baybeyyy. I remember the first time reading this having no fucking clue what was happening in that chapter but I guess it was the gay agenda all along

Favourite chapter

It’s gotta be the chapter where Fitz and the Fool reunite, right? Catch me just gradually losing my grip on reality with every lingering stare 

Most loved character

Foooooooooool

Most hated character

Ya know, for a minute I was actually wondering if I would like Starling this time round but yeah no lol. She was actually okay for a while but as soon as she sold Fitz/Nettle out she became The Worst, just as I remembered her. It’s not even because she betrays Fitz but because, like Kettricken, she expects Fitz to forgive her for it, to the point of running to tattle to the queen because Fitz isn’t giving her enough attention (I’m also not impressed with Kettricken for actually getting involved instead of just telling her to grow up). Not to mention her constantly misgendering/gendering (??) the Fool or just assuming the Fool’s gender and loudly fucking proclaiming it to everybody is just truly fucking disgusting. Like I cannot even explain how furious I was reading her incessantly using she/her pronouns for the Fool despite no confirmation that her theory is right or that the Fool is comfortable with this and despite EVERYONE ELSE using he/him pronouns. God I’m mad now lol. She just acts like a spoilt brat and it makes my blood boil. But that’s probably because I have known many people like this so… Good character writing lol congrats

Raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimised by Robin Hobb (most heartbreaking and/or visceral moments)

The whole first chapter/s are just so heavy and carry on that gut wrenching feeling from the end of Royal Assassin. Fitz just has no real desire to live and watching him systematically severing the last few ties he has to his human life is just so sad.

Even though I wasn’t as attached to Verity this time, his goodbye to Fitz still made me cry

As did Fitz giving Kettle her skill back

Verity using Fitz’s body to have sex with Kettricken really got to me this time, mostly because I either didn’t notice the first time or had forgotten just how much it affects Fitz. It’s no wonder he doesn’t want to acknowledge Dutiful as his son when the event that brought that fact into being was so fucked up and traumatic. It’s really upsetting.

Burrich saying he almost took Fitz to Chivalry and he should have never let the Farseers take Fitz just …… breaks my heart. Just seeing Burrich so raw like that in general is so unusual it really takes you aback.

Details, observations, spoilery notes made with the benefit of the full picture

Strap in lads this part is lonnnngggggggg

Is it bad to immediately want to cry just from seeing “Sandsedge” on the map and thinking of Sandsedge brandy

I never really thought about how poor Hap didn’t get the real Fitz all those years and how their relationship could have been if Fitz hadn’t been partially forged

Pls I have no idea why but to picture someone as emotionally repressed as Fitz actually sitting down and writing about his life makes me want to fucking cryyyyeeeee

Fitz in the prologue talks about needing a purpose as something to distract himself from sinking [into his chronic pain, mental illness and addiction] and boy howdy if that ain’t relatable. As someone with mental illness and chronic pain Fitz is just painfully relatable way too often.

“I have never forgiven myself the triumph I ceded him when I took poison and died.” Fitz :(((( my guy :((((((( forgive yourself for surviving however you could baby!!!!!

This book mentions Bingtown providing slaves to Chalced

It’s so funny to me when people expect Fitz to have social skills as if he didn’t literally live as a fucking wolf for weeks at a time. It’s a miracle he bloody speaks

The state Fitz is in at the beginning of this book was literally Burrich’s greatest fear for him, yet Burrich doesn’t just say I told you so and leave. He stays, is patient and even optimistic.

“He (Burrich) is not bigger than I.” Why does this feel so wrong lol??? I just can’t picture Fitz as bigger than Burrich

“When you were younger and not supposed to go into taverns without me…” So it’s fine if the child goes into taverns and gets drunk as long as you’re also there. Got it, Burrich.

Fitz calling Chade “the grey one” wow get rekd old man river

Seeing Chade and Burrich interact is so bizarre

Fitz is still having seizures at the beginning of this book! I had forgotten that

God okay so idk if I can articulate this point super well but the whole thing of Fitz going through this extensive abuse and then essentially becoming an animal feels like a metaphor for the way your brain’s “higher” needs and functions just shut off sometimes under certain levels of stress. Like in order to cope with the trauma you don’t think about concepts, or long-term goals, or other people. You just take care of your basic needs - food, sleep, shelter, water - long enough that you start to feel safe and secure again, at which point your brain can open up a bit more and allow you to really think again; to want again, to plan again etc. Like obviously literally becoming an animal is a heightened version of reality, but the functionality of it is the same; our wounds and our fear stop us from fully embodying ourselves.

Burrich be like, Fitz was getting way too dependent on drugs before all this so let’s steer clear of those. :) LET’S GET HIM ABSOLUTELY SHITFACED INSTEAD

I  love how Fitz has his own unique relationship with Lacey and she’s not just Patience’s servant in his mind

Fitz talking about how even his memories from before his time in the dungeons are soiled by his trauma :( baby boy

Dude it’s so rich Chade lecturing Fitz about not making a life for himself, having friends or just chilling out like???? WHO TRAINED HIM TO BE AN ASSASSIN CHADE?? Like I get your point but what the hell kind of life did you think he was gonna have? Who ever took the time to teach him the importance of making connections with people for their own sake, and when would he have ever had the time anyway? I think Chade himself doesn’t actually know what he expects from Fitz.

Fitz saying he’s bad at making decisions because he’s never actually been allowed to make any is literally a point I’ve made lol. This is what happens when you teach teenagers how to murder in lieu of any basic life skills.

Burrich + Chiv were luv at first sight. No I will not elaborate.

“We kept you a boy, looked after you too much.” Huh??????? Fitz was never fucking sheltered lol. He didn’t have autonomy. There’s a difference.

I’m so fucking glad Fitz hugged Burrich before he left and that they actually left off on okay-ish terms. I didn’t remember that and it vaguely dulls the blow of knowing we don’t see Burrich again til Fool’s Fate (and that he thinks Fitz is dead the entire time between now and then).

“If I shaved my hair back from my brow” bitch disgusting

“Honey was the older of the two women. Perhaps my age.” jskfjnajgbl my guy those aren’t women then those are children!!!!!! U freak

I was wondering for ages why Fitz doesn’t mention the Fool like literally at all bc that’s so unusual right? Even in Assassin’s Apprentice he thinks of him when he goes to Moonseye and just in general the Fool usually enters Fitz’s thoughts pretty frequently. So why now, when Fitz doesn’t even know if the Fool is okay, is he just not thinking about him? And then I realised that that is exactly why. Because the only two people from his old life he doesn’t think about are the two people whose fates he knows nothing of: Kettricken and the Fool. So he can let his mind wander to think what Patience and Lacey might be up to at Buckkeep, or who Molly is with or whatever, because he knows they are all safe. But in such a fragile state I don’t think he can bring himself to really wonder whether Kettricken and the Fool made it to their destination - he probably doesn’t really believe they could have, and that is far too painful a road to go down when you are trying not to think at all.

I know the first act of this book is slow and that bothers some people, but I think it is so necessary, not only for Fitz’s arc but also because it really demonstrates just how severe the situation has gotten with the red ships and forged ones AND it shows just how destructive a king Regal is. Without this perspective it would probably be much harder to buy that the extreme measures taken at the end of the book are really worth the sacrifice.

Fitz is Demisexual, Exhibit A: when Honey is coming onto him, all he can think about is Molly.

Fitz is so scared of the Forged ones :( his trauma affects everything. He has no faith in himself and less heart for the violence than ever.

Speaking of trauma metaphors: the way Fitz tends to drift off into the wit or Skill after a traumatic experience is… pretty much just dissociation but magique

I forgot that witted folk can apparently communicate with each other mentally, not just with animals

“Her head was the size of a bushel basket.” Ah, yes, a bushel basket, a thing whose size we are all intimately familiar with.

Fitz finally finds others like him and even then he is not fully accepted. Told he is doing the wit wrong. Othered by the Others. It’s the queer experience innit.

Also forgot that apparently the forged are attracted to the wit as well as the Skill?

“I wondered if I had as many wolf mannerisms as they had halk and bear.” Yeah no probably not you only bloody LIVED as a wolf, Fitz.

Okay I know it doesn’t need saying but Patience is just so fucking cool!!!!!

Jesus fucking christ, Fitz skilling out to Molly when he knows Will knows he’s alive and is looking for him is just… so dumb. So so dumb. I know he’s just fixating on her because he’s miserable and she’s like this unsullied thing he had before everything went wrong but holy moly is it frustrating 

Not to mention he doesn’t connect the dots between the fact that Burrich went to “help a friend” and every time he reaches out for Molly he sees Burrich sajkdbshkhja dude

Nighteyes leaving just goes to show that Fitz cannot rely solely on Nighteyes for companionship. No matter how innately the same they are they are equally as innately different. Fitz needs Nighteyes but he shouldn’t have JUST Nighteyes (which is why he, Nighteyes and the Fool are the holy trinity). When Nighteyes leaves, Fitz is in way too fragile a state to be left alone, but Nighteyes cannot think of the future or what might happen. All he knows is he’ll be back at some point and that’s all that matters.

“My anger fed my competence” whatever you need to tell yourself sweetie

I think I had blocked out the fact the Regal was keeping animals trapped in filthy cages so they could ravage people in the king’s circle uggggghhhhhhhhh I hate him

Fitz is down on himself saying that without Shrewd’s largesse, Chade’s information and Verity’s protection his idea of himself has been stripped away and that he’s not actually competent etc. but like. This is an extreme situation!! You’re literally alone in the wilderness with nothing and no one!! Who would thrive in this situation? And nobody gets by without help anyway! The people in our lives do define us to an extent. You don’t have to be able to stand 100% on your own at all times with zero resources to be considered capable. It’s human to depend on others. Yes I am chiding myself as much as Fitz here :))))

Burrich’s earring is the repressed gay earring. No I will not elaborate.

Fitz refusing to sell Burrich’s earring is frustrating yet something I would 100% do lol

Direct from my notes: Celery hiding out in caves?? Bad bitch

“I felt I was within the flames looking deeply into the Fool’s eyes” um okay gay

It’s actually surprising that Fitz admits he would not have gone after Molly even if he had known she was pregnant when she left. On one hand so self aware yet this doesn’t stop him from completely idealising their relationship.

And then you have Molly who says he was supposed to come after her “so she could forgive him”, that he was supposed to be the one to light the candles for her childbirth etc. The fact that she in any way thought he was mature enough to be a father just shows how little they really knew each other.

Burrich treating Molly like a horse while delivering Nettle is way funnier than it has a right to be jskakjasd makes me think of Dwight treating Phyllis’ back injury in The Office lol

The first thing Burrich notices about Nettle is that she has Chivalry’s brow are you fucking kidding me. Gay!

Fitz is Demisexual, Exhibit B: He had no interest in Tassin whatsoever until she literally started kissing him. At this point his body reacted, which is normal, but as soon as he got a second to actually think about it he stopped, because for him it would not be satisfying to sleep with someone he didn’t have feelings for.

“It seemed to take years for the dried beans and lentils to soften.” Okay mood

I love how Fitz just assumes Molly will take him back. “I have a woman and child awaiting me.” Says who bitch?

Small ferret? More like big legend

Ya know, we give Fitz so much shit but honestly with so much physical, mental and emotional stress on this journey how can we expect his mental faculties to be at 100%? I wouldn’t be making good decisions either, in fact I would be long dead.

Starling telling Nik that the earring once belonged to Chivalry is truly a smooth brain move

“Do not fear, little brother, I am here to take care of you again.” Words can’t explain how much I love Nighteyes and how often his dialogue makes me smile :’)

It’s so cute how Nighteyes is worried about Molly and Nettle until he knows that Burrich is taking care of them

It’s really interesting when Fitz claims “I’d rather be with Molly even if it meant rocking a crying baby in the middle of the night” because, well, he’s literally made other claims to the contrary, saying he wouldn’t have gone with her even if he’d known she was pregnant. Because at the end of the day as much as Fitz is compelled by others to do work for the greater good, I think deep down a lot of the time it is what he would do anyway. Like I really don’t think he could actually enjoy being with Molly knowing that the world is burning down around them. He would want to get out there and help somehow; not only to secure their own future but to reduce other people’s suffering as well. He’s an empathetic boy even though he’d like to be selfish.

Every time Fitz calls Molly his wife I lose ten years off my life

Again, I understand why he’s thinking like this, but Fitz’s ownership of Molly is just so uncomfortable. The fact that he can’t imagine her not having a place ready and waiting for him in her life when he returns just illustrates that she is not a fully realised person to him. She is just a comforting idea.

Oh yes, it was definitely Starling’s “pillowtalk” that got you captured and not the fact that you fit the exact description of the witted bastard right down to having Chivalry’s earring and a whole ass wolf

Somehow forgot that Jhaampe is basically a city of tents with only a few permanent buildings and people constantly coming and going

Fitz’s first words to the Fool are “I’ve come to you.” I’m gonna fucking die

Literally every single word from the moment Fitz realises it’s the Fool and starts describing him is a full body assault and personal attack I am seeking reparations

God the tenderness, the angst, the relief……… shall i pass away

“I doubted he was much taller, but his body was no longer a child’s.” My dude this is a gay awakening if I ever saw one

Fitz be like *spends 87 pages describing the Fool in painstaking detail* anyway I love being a heterosexual male

I’ve heard ppl cite Fitz’s descriptions of Kettricken as evidence of a crush (hard disagree) but literally nothingggggg even comes close to the way he describes the Fool. Not just this once but over and over again it’s insane.

“Talk fell off between us. The bottle of brandy was empty. We were reduced to silence, staring at one another drunkenly.” skjakfnajghajgnaLNGJ is it gay to silently gaze into thine homie’s eyes

The Fool protecting Fitz from everyone - especially Starling - in Jhaampe is often hilarious and always heartwarming

Realising Fitz was skinny enough for the Fool to lift on his own ahhh no wonder he said the famous “When I recall how beautiful you were” line, Fitz is a total wreck

I love that the Fool actually gives Chade shit for his plan to take Nettle. I love him.

“Too few folk cared for me. I could not hate a single one of them.” Oh, Fitz :(

I always wonder how the Fool really feels about Molly. Is he jealous? Does he compare himself to this woman Fitz idolises and he doesn’t know? Does he know that Fitz is barking up the wrong tree or is he stuck thinking Molly must really be Fitz’s soulmate since he won’t shut up about how much he loves her and can’t wait to get back to her? He just never really lets on how it makes him feel when Fitz has relationships with women. We know Fitz gets jealous of the Fool (for litch rally like no reason lol), so with the Fool being much more honest with himself/in general about his love for Fitz and having much more legitimate reason to be jealous, is he? Or is it just something he’s made his peace with, that these women give Fitz something that he cannot? Is he okay with that cos he has to be or does he have a different, less monogamous view of love and relationships (he does have three parents after all). I dunnoooo dude I just have so many questions. Like obviously - OBVIOUSLY - if Fitz and the Fool didn’t have romantic feelings for each other before, there is no doubting that romantic feelings appeared the moment Fitz appeared in the Fool’s hut. Fitz won’t admit that but mere chapters later the Fool is talking about how he loves Fitz in every way so like. He knows. So how does he feel when Fitz is calling out for Molly in his sleep, or openly speaking of seeking her out when all this is over, and lying to the Fool to protect Molly and his daughter. Really makes u think!!!!

Fitz reuniting with Sooty and going to see her every day in Jhaampe is so cuuuute and made me so happy. Sooty is a good girl :’)

Fitz be like *leans against the table where the Fool is carving and watches his fingers at work like a true repressed gay*

Verity is literally so strong???? He submerged himself in skill and was able to pull himself back from the stream can u imagine? Go off king!

Bro I literally can’t with the Fool mentioning Jofron so casually and Fitz immediately thinking wow oh my god they’re definitely fucking oh my god the Fool has a girlfriend - Fitz sweetie calm down

I love how Fitz and the Fool just naturally walk together :))) and Nighteyes babysitting Kettle is so cute

Molly never once says that she misses Fitz. She says she always expected him to do the right thing, to come after her and not leave her alone with a child. But she doesn’t look back on their time together fondly or have much positive to say about him as a person. And all that is fair, but it’s also just… Not really the behaviour of someone who’s been separated from their soulmate. It’s more just someone who’s been left in a shitty position by someone they cared about but hardly knew.

Fitz asking the Fool what is between him and Starling when they’re literally just being civil is sooooo fucking funny. Not everyone finds the Fool as irresistible as you do, Fitz.

The Fool just casually finding a pretext to call Fitz the light of his life

Fitz telling Kettricken firmly that he will not travel if the Fool is ill is one of the only times he ever puts his foot down with her GEE I WONDER WHY

I’ve said it before I’ll say it again…… there really do be something about the way Fitz can’t meet the Fool’s eyes………. It’s not like they’re weird and colourless anymore like they used to be!!!

The Fool already talking about Clerres in this book!

Fitz and the Fool and Nighteyes playing in the stream is too fucking pure omg, it’s what they deserve

And then Starling has to bloody ruin it bc she’s homophobique

But seriously, Fitz actually lets go for the first time in ages and has a nice evening only for Starling to go tattling to Kettricken, and Kettricken having the gall to confront Fitz about it. And then Fitz solves the problem by saying he doesn’t disdain her when like!! He has every right to!!!! She sold him out, sold his daughter out. She never even apologised but instead has just been totally petty and self-righteous and stirring up trouble amongst the group. She hasn’t earned or even asked for his forgiveness. So fitting that she’s the one constantly judging Fitz for his relationship with Lord Golden in Tawny Man lol, she just cannot let Fitz and the Fool be the queer icons they are!!!

Verrrrrrrrrrry interesting that Fitz only “suddenly missed the human warmth and comfort” of Starling taking his arm or sleeping against him literally IMMEDIATELY after the plumbing and love confrontation with the Fool. I mean he has been doing all of those things with the Fool (sleeping together, walking arm in arm etc.) so it’s not about human touch at all, it’s about convincing himself that a WOMAN’S touch is somehow inherently different.

He does the same thing with Starling as with Kettricken. She technically apologises but it’s not sincere and that’s not why he forgives her. Same as Kettricken, she tells her sob story and he can’t hold onto his anger. It makes sense, but it’s just very toxic. It would be nice if at least one person would really recognise how much they’ve hurt Fitz and really, genuinely want to atone for it, or apologise without expecting forgiveness. The onus should not be on Fitz to forgive Starling but on Starling to grow up and not need Fitz to like her in order to remain civil and do what they have to. Also “I do not find your wit bond offensive” has the same energy as someone telling you out of nowhere like “It’s fine that you’re gay :)” like wow thank u?? lol

Fitz is Demisexual, Exhibit C: “I wanted her with a desperation that had nothing to do with love, and even, I believe, little to do with lust.”

“By his love he is betrayed, and his love betrayed also.” So fate agrees with me, Fitz and the Fool are in love? :)

Anytime the potential that Fitz might have to choose between Molly and Nighteyes I lose brain cells. That’s ur brother Fitz!!! It’s not even a choice!! How dare u

It’s just sooooo intentionally laid out for us in this book that Fitz’s relationship with Molly really wasn’t good or healthy and that his fixation on it is misguided, and I think that’s why I struggled sooooo hard with the ending of Fool’s Fate, because it kind of implied the exact opposite. I’m hoping on this reread I will pick up on it being laid out as a result of Fitz getting his memories/teen feelings back rather than it just feeling like a lowkey retcon, but I guess we’ll see lol

“I felt I was a bit in love with him, you know. That sort of lift to the heart.” the confirmation that the Fool KNOWS HOW IT FEELS TO BE IN LOVE sends me deep into the swamps goodbyeeeeeeeeeeee

“The one who loves him best will betray him most foully.” So fate agrees, the Fool loves Fitz best :)

“You do love me! … Before, it was words. I always feared it was born out of pity.” Godddddd Foooooooooool!!!!!!!!!!! 

Everything about Fitz, the Fool and Nighteyes meeting in the skill for the first time is just truly perfect iconic unparalleled.

Fitz’s love for Verity hurts my heart so much. Just think of the relationship they could have had if they weren’t stupid royals.

Kettle’s whole speech about Fitz and Molly… Just yes to every word.

Look I’m just gonna say it… The way Burrich reacts to Molly’s advances … like I know it’s probably not intentional but it just reads as very much fitting in with my headcanon that he is gay. As soon as she makes it clear she wants to sleep with him he like leaps across the room lol. I do believe he cares for her and loves her in his way, but it does feel mostly like he’ll just do whatever he needs to to care for her and the baby.  Sowwy

I wonder why the Fool wasn’t as affected by his giving up of memories to Girl-on-a-Dragon?? Or was he, and he just gets them back before we see him again in Tawny Man?

“Take my hurt that I never knew my father, take my hours of staring up at his portrait when the great hall was empty and I could do so alone.” um this is so fucking sad

It was the Fool who sent Starling to find Fitz after Verity uses his body and again I have to ask, wtf is going on in your mind, Fool!

Fitz is Demisexual, Exhibit D: Even once he actually sleeps with Starling he has no enthusiasm about it, he just kind of goes along with it, likely to prove to himself that he has really let go of his past/Molly. 

I always wonder why the Fool leaves now. Is it because he thinks their work is done and doesn’t want to risk messing things up by hanging around his catalyst like at the end of Tawny Man? Does he intend to come back and find Fitz again but get sidetracked by a lead or a new dream? Like it’s just weird because at first he was like “Prophet and Catalyst stick together” and was gonna stay with Fitz - or was that just an excuse because he was obsessed with Girl-on-a-Dragon? Fool u spicy lil enigma

It’s blood and the wit that wakes the stone dragons so does that mean King Wisdom was witted? Or is that obvious lol

Fitz isn’t even bothered by the Fool’s kiss, just shocked. I am looking.

Patience shouting orders at Verity-as-Dragon is beautiful ksjjk

Of courrrrrssse Burrich names his first son Chivalry

In the epilogue, the Fool is the only one Fitz actually says he misses. Exquisite.

I know some people have an issue with Regal’s death but personally I find it delicious

Okay that’s all (I say as if this wasn’t 139841989 pages long). See y’all in 92 years when my sister finally starts reading Liveship!

[cavalrytwunks]

S1E25: The Highway of Blood and Sweat

I type these as I watch; bonus points if you spot the scenes that made me hit caps lock can forgive some personal gender stuff coming through a bit; this one hit me pretty hard.

finale time. I'm ready to cry, bring it on, let's DO this

Arslan Senki: the anime for people who just want to play a campaign in a good-aligned party for once, dammit.

Arslan Senki: the anime for people who like big feelings, pretty men, seeing virtue prevail, and SWORDS.

okay okay enough muckin' about, here we go

-- okay, so, I guess Étoile is in-universe pretty, not just anime-boy pretty? Farangis thinks he is a lady.

Daryun, wounded: It shames me to say it, but... Hilmes yet lives. Arslan: SHUT UP, you're alive and that's all that matters

Arslan has his priorities in order.

Narsus: No woman of the Zot clan would allow herself to be killed so easily. Alfirid: Especially when she has a husband to look after. Narsus: I don't remember ever acknowledging that union.

OKAY, it took a whole season, but I'm glad that's cleared up (kind of). Apparently, they are NOT any kind of married; Alfirid just stans Narsus. And really, who can blame her?

-- oh hey look, it's a tiny scene that probably sparked a bunch of Jaswant/Daryun fics. There is something very intimate about having one's wounds tended.

Kubard: so... Silvermask coulda killed you, but didn't? Daryun: yeah, he's an arrogant fuck who won't settle for less than absolute victory, what an insolent bastard Kubard: dude, uh, your wound? Daryun: it's bound, I'm fine, it's fine. gonna go do my job. like a DECENT and honorable man. *grumble grumble scowl* fuckin' prideful jerk *scowl*

-- oh boy, Kubard's drinking with Farangis. I won't be surprised if Gieve appears out of the aether.

-- Arslan to Étoile: "So, when we met in Peshawar... that was you as you truly are?" no, Arslan, he's a knight. what do you mean, real name? -- ah, the name Étoile left behind. A dead name, if you will. -- "I'm only 14, maybe the horns will grow in." oh my god. this shouldn't be cute. Étoile is a prisoner. I feel weird about this being cute. -- of course Arslan read the religious book. and wants a prayer said for the Lusitanian dead. oh, bless him.

-- I'm glad Elam's okay

-- the gravity of Étoile's prayer at the end... wow

-- oh wait one more scene? Guiscard yellin' at Hilmes? oh holy shit, did Guiscard not know who Hilmes was? -- he didn't -- OH HEY, REMEMBER HOW I SAID the Lusitanian king was insufferable and Guiscard should get Silvermask to kill him? like 10 episodes ago? -- ahahahaaaa i like being right

-- oh jeez, we're only halfway through the episode. I have a little bit of time dilation going on, oops.

-- I live for Elam being good at first aid and teaching Étoile. We respect Elam in this house. -- Should I feel weird about Étoile's pronouns? He said explicitly that he left the name Estelle behind, and took on a gendered social role out of necessity, but he also hasn't said whether or not he's a girl? but has said VERY loudly that who he really is is a knight of Lusitania. -- Nonbinary Étoile?  "Are you a boy or a girl?"  "I'm a knight." "What's in your trousers?"  "A fuck-ass ton of weapons."

-- Listen, I have the episode paused while I have feelings about this. I know the canon probably isn't going to support nonbinary Étoile. But... let me have this. Just for a minute. I grew up with Alanna of Tortall and I wanted to be a knight. and a boy. it's. i'm. wow, i'm. i'm sorry, I might need to make another post about this later and then cry some more. Someone please just hit me with a T shot, right in the thigh like a goddamn epi-pen. I’m super not okay.

-- "Stop referring to me as a girl. It feels strange." OKAY, NONBINARY ÉTOILE HEADCANON ACCEPTED.

-- I love Farangis' explanation of Arslan - his continual striving for personal improvement. It's a good attitude for anyone, especially kings.

-- aw, it's been a while since we had some Narsus/Daryun banter

-- GIEVE! that's Gieve's voice narrating! oh, I miss him. also, I want a flashback episode that shows what Gieve's been up to this whole time.

And that's the end of the first season. I love this story so much. Thank you for following along with me, all 8 of you. I'm looking forward to Season 2.  

[solacefruit]

Hello! Been reflecting on the feedback you gave and there’s something that struck my mind. In regards to what you mentioned about over-using epithets, I was wondering about how to strike a better balance; I feel like constantly using just names and he/she/etc would get too repetitive for my liking, but how do I avoid leaning on epithets too much? What even is too much? I know you might not have a real answer, but I thought I should ask anyway just in case. Also, thank you for the feedback!

Hello there! Firstly, you’re very welcome, and secondly, good news: I do actually have an answer for this issue of epithets. Epithets themselves aren’t actually good or bad, but–like anything–over-use or misuse of them can spoil writing. What makes the difference is almost always context. 

The mistake that fandom writers often make is that they slap just any old epithet any-old-where, thinking it’s better than repeating a name too many times, which is how you get “the taller man,” “the blonde boy.” These writers fundamentally misunderstand what an epithet can (and should) do, which is describe character. That’s not the same as telling you their height or appearance. I literally mean you should strive to reveal meaningful characterisation with your choices. Otherwise, you’re better served just using a pronoun or name. 

So, things to consider when figuring out whether to use epithets or not:

Point-of-view: I bring this up first because it’ll impact everything else. If you are writing in third-person limited, epithets can be great friends to you, because whenever you use them, you are telling your reader what your focal character thinks of the person they are describing. It does not need to be accurate or true! In fact, in third-person limited, everything you write is told through the perspective of the character who is seeing and thinking about the world, so everything is biased on account of being seen through their lens. Because of that, using an epithet can be a great way to reveal your focal character’s perspective and personality by how they think of other people.

For example, “Oakheart prowled over” versus “the handsome warrior prowled over.” This second example tells you what a third-person limited narrator thinks of the character, and the first one doesn’t. As you can imagine, this is a lot of power! Use it wisely. (More on this later).

By comparison, third-person omniscient narration is told by an unseen, usually unknown and unnamed disembodied voice who is describing the protagonist and the rest of the world equally. The narrator can know and see things the protagonist cannot, including the protagonist! That means you can use epithets for anyone, protagonist included–but it’s a good idea to figure out how honest your narrator is first. Do they see the world the way it is, and report it “truthfully”? 

If so, you need to be careful about subjectivity: “the handsome warrior” is going to make the reader think of what they think of as handsome, and if that doesn’t line up with what your narrator later describes physically, your narrator–or worse, you, which some readers conflate with narrator–is going to seem biased or opinionated and that’s going to have ramifications. I can advise sticking to objective facts when using epithets in this narration style, and keep in mind that the epithets you choose to apply to any character is going to reflect your narrator’s implicit thoughts and opinions. This can be used to fantastic effect when your narrator does have a strong voice and set of opinions (essentially, when they are a character in their own right), such as in A Series of Unfortunate Events or Pride and Prejudice. But if you’re trying to keep your narrator invisible to the reader, proceed with caution when using epithets. 

Unfamiliarity: epithets are most commonly used before people get to know each other, before learning names. That’s when it’s appropriate to describe someone by their looks, because often that’s all there is to go on: “the dark-haired man,” “the sharp-eyed woman,” “the boy in the blue cloak.” However, once a name is known, these kinds of epithets tend to lose their usefulness, because (see above: third-person limited) why would your focal character keep thinking of them like this once they know their name? Do you think of your friends by their name, or their hair colour? Would you think “the tall person” when thinking of a partner, instead of their name? Probably not! Your characters are the same.

Social distance, respect, and/or role: epithets include titles, such as Her Majesty or the emperor, and often it is not appropriate to call the king just “George,” even in private narration. Because of that, characters who are royal, divine, or otherwise upper class in some significant way often are referred to primarily by epithets. 

This can also be true of characters performing a business role, such as a postal worker or shopkeeper, or a parental one, like mum or dad. “The mailman dropped off the package, wished her a good day, and continued down the road” is a perfectly reasonable use of an epithet. You can even do something like: “George!” she said, waving down the mailman. And what that tells you is that the mailman is named George, and clearly the focal character knows him pretty well. That’s a lot of information in one sentence! 

Defamiliarisation: similar to above, you can use epithets specifically to obfuscate a name or to imply that a person (or creature) does not have one. In that context, a repeated epithet (or collection of epithets) essentially becomes a name in the mind of the reader and serves the same function. Perhaps the most famous (or infamous?) example of this is Frankenstein’s monster. It is often referred to as the creature, wretch, demon, fiend, being, and so on, because it was never given a name and the absence of a name is significant. These epithets tell you a lot about the characters of both the creature and the creator. 

Revealing character detail: this is the one that a lot of people slip on, as I mentioned before, because it’s not always immediately clear when an epithet adds or detracts to an interaction. My rule of thumb is to ask yourself when unsure, “in this moment, what does this reveal?” or “in this moment, what does this highlight?” If a satisfactory answer springs to mind, it’s probably fine. So, for example:

“I told you not to take the patrol past the forest,” said Nightstar. “You disobeyed me.” Mousetail looked away in shame. 

There’s nothing wrong with this passage! However, you can also do this:

“I told you not to take the patrol past the forest,” said Nightstar. “You disobeyed me.” The deputy looked away in shame.

What does this highlight? By using this epithet, the reader is reminded of the relationship between these two characters, which in this moment is heavily laden with emotion and tension. You would not achieve that same result with only names. You would also not receive the same result with:

“I told you not to take the patrol past the forest,” said Nightstar. “You disobeyed me.” The brown cat looked away in shame.

You don’t get anything from the use of this epithet, because being a brown cat is totally irrelevant to this exchange. It doesn’t change anything about the dynamic, or the emotional tone, or the dialogue. It’s empty words, thrown in just to avoid saying a name. That is not a choice that serves your story well and when people say using epithets is bad, this is almost invariably the kind of thing they’re referring to. 

For the thrill of it: sometimes epithets are fun! Sometimes it’s fun to throw in an unusual description detail, or a particularly choice combination of words in a more poetic style. Sometimes it just sounds good. However, it can be risky–for all the above reasons. Weigh them all up carefully before you throw in your “the moonlight-eyed cat” or “the boy with sun-soaked hair” type thing, but don’t not put these sorts of things in if you feel your story needs it!

I hope this helps! When it doubt, interrogate your choice and see if it is actually adding to what you’re trying to achieve. If it’s not, cut it and replace it with a name or pronoun. There’s no formula to what’s too much or not enough, so you’ve got to judge it on a case-by-case basis. Good luck with your writing!

[synthient]

The Key to Understanding Deltarune: The Halloween Hack

So we’re currently in the middle of a 4000 year content hiatus

Which is unfortunate, because ever since the big iconic Halloween-day surprise demo drop, my brain has been rattling a baseball bat against the inside of my skull and chanting “CONTENT, CONTENT, CONTENT”

Undertale was like candy for the thematic analysis side of my brain. I still wake up in a cold sweat some nights going “fun value......he put a quantitative value on fun.....numbers going up.....”

I am desperate to know what kind of themes Deltarune is going to tackle. Can you effectively predict that from one (1) 3 hour demo? No. Does my brain care? No.

Which is what lead me to the wonderful world of intertextuality, or examining how a media text is shaped by other media texts

It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this with me doing a playthrough of EarthBound, the video game that Toby has cited as his biggest inspiration for Undertale

That was fun & interesting (the “throwing away an emotionally engaging experience to grimly make Numbers Go Up” thing feels a lot closer to home after trying and failing to get the sword of kings), but it didn’t provide much insight into Deltarune, specifically. It wasn’t enough. I needed more. I was willing to dig into literally any intertext (except Homestuck, which no force on this earth can compel me to read :) )

anyway thats how I ended up playing Toby Fox’s high school fangame

And somehow (sorry Toby) I walked out of there with an unironic theory (a game theory....if you will....): Deltarune is Toby’s adult reexamination of the Halloween Hack.

What is the Halloween Hack?

You know that thing where, like, people take the engine of a Pokemon game and edit it so there’s a new region and a bunch of new fakemon, and also There’s Swears Now

In 2008, Toby Fox entered a contest on an EarthBound fansite for the best Halloween-themed EarthBound hack

In one sense, reducing the Halloween Hack to a “bad romhack with swears” is a little bit of a disservice. There are some glimmers in there of a really affecting, thought-provoking game, and you can see some of the early blueprints of what would later become Undertale (“do video game ‘monsters’ really deserve to die” is a major theme, and the character of Dr. Andonuts was effectively split up into Alpyhs, Asgore, and Sans)

But it’s also. very much a fangame made by a 16-year-old.

You can read a basic summary of the Hack here. High school-age Toby wrote two pretty extensive analyses of his thought process behind the game. I’ll be referring back to them a lot, and I’d highly suggest giving them a read--Toby’s been so famously resistant to making any Word of God statements about Undertale that it’s kind of fascinating to see him being so candid

an extremely long and rambling examination of How This All Relates To Deltarune

The Halloween Hack opens in the town of Halloween Twoson. Twoson is one of the cites in EarthBound, and here it’s been painted orange. and there’s pumpkins now

See, high school Toby had...a bit of a chip on his shoulder. In the Making Of notes, he explains that he was frustrated that “most people generally thought I was just ‘another funny guy’”. So he designed the opening of the game to seem unoriginally close to the original EarthBound--like “a regular, funny, lazy hack”--to lull players into a false sense of security before the horror elements set in.

Two interesting things there:

“Lazily, unoriginally close to the source game” sounds an awful lot like the Dark World segment of Deltarune

Halloween Twoson looks very visually similar to Hometown

Toby’s description of Twoson also sounds pretty Hometown-esque:

The main impressions of Twoson that I wanted to give the player were: It's funny. It's a nice fall day outside. The person hacking this game is ridiculously lazy. It's a nice place to live. If you look at it a little closely, it's kind of claustrophobic.  

And when does the horror kick in? When the player descends into the underground tunnels beneath the city.

The “horror” in the Halloween Hack is, however, Pretty Not Good.

There’s a whole lot of the flavor text narrator (put a pin in that one) insisting “this is so scary. you’re so scared. your hands shake and your head throbs because you’re so scared.” There’s also a thing where the battle text keeps going “the shambling zombie BITES your HEAD OFF!!! (you lose 15 hp).”

I think the True Lab sequence in Undertale is a decent demonstration that Toby’s come a long way since then (and that Honey We’ve Got A Storm Coming :’) ). But you know what the Hack’s style of horror reminds me of?

My first thought when I beat the demo and saw this stinger was “this looks like an intentionally shitty creepypasta.” Now I wonder if it’s lowkey adult Toby poking a little fun at teenage Toby

The Halloween Hack is a game about railroading. It’s Spec Ops The Line before there was Spec Ops The Line.

According to Toby:

The main theme of this game is the lack of choice. There is really no choice in this game. From the moment you start to the moment you finish, you're destined to kill Dr. Andonuts. There are two endings, but they both eventually end up the same way. It's all a big joke on the player.

You know why there isn't a choice there? Because you already chose to make Varik go into the door. You already chose to go forward. The only real choice, as Varik realizes at the end of the game, is to stop or keep going. By "stop" he means "turn off the game," and that's all you can do. Anything you play is your own fault for playing, and that's the only real choice you can make.

Interesting? Yeah. A little obnoxious? Also yeah.

That’s one of the criticisms people had of Spec Ops. "The atrocities we commit when we feel like we don’t have a choice” is an intriguing theme, but “~the only way to win is not to play~ [the game I worked hard on for the express purpose of people playing it]” isn’t a very satisfying conclusion.

Undertale, in direct contrast to the Hack, is all about choice. It earns the right to guilt you for the No Mercy Run by giving you every opportunity not to go through with it.

But even Undertale plays a little with the concept of railroading--you can’t stay with Toriel; you can’t spare Asgore in any of the neutral runs; you can’t save Asriel.

Now Deltarune seems to be returning full-on to the Hack’s “your choices don’t matter” premise. But it’s going to need to find something more insightful and satisfying to say about it.

Which makes me really curious about this:

If the Hack has a secondary theme besides railroading/lack of choice, it’s The Soul-Crushing Impact Of Internalized Homophobia.

The tragic antagonist, Dr. Andonuts, destroys his own life trying to repress his gay desire. He retreats into a dream world made of his neuroses and trauma, and he’s inevitably Otherized and murdered by the player. He’s something of a dark version of Alphys, who “disappears” into her lab without ever meeting and getting support from Frisk, Papyrus, and Undyne.

Undertale takes an opposite approach to its lgbt themes--the Underground is a utopia where homophobia and transphobia don’t exist. Everyone respects Frisk’s and Chara’s pronouns. Alphys finds solace and healing in her relationship with Undyne.

It’s a heartwarming growth from the despair in the Halloween Hack. And it’s a vision that’s been deeply meaningful to a lot of people. But that doesn’t mean that there’s no value in exploring issues of homophobia. 16-year-old Toby tried to do that, but...wasn’t exactly at a point where he was equipped to handle it with a ton of sensitivity and nuance.

(There’s. There’s a boss battle where you fight the physical manifestation of Andonuts’ gay repression. It’s a crotch. You fight a crotch.)

Some of the hints in the Deltarune demo, however--the Toriel Has Become Catholic thing; the fact that Alphys and Undyne haven’t met and Mettaton hasn’t been able to transition; the potential trans implications of choosing a name only to have it discarded for an assigned one (“you can’t choose who you are in this world”)--make me suspect that’s one of the themes that Toby will try to revisit from an adult perspective.

The Hack is interested in the idea of the flavor text narrator as a distinct, intelligent entity, whose thoughts and goals don’t always align with those of the player character or the player. 

The Hack’s narrator makes a habit of dictating “your” emotions to you (you’re scared; you can sense ‘the monster’ and you want to kill it; etc). The narration starts to seem more and more unreliable, until, as Toby put it, “The narrator starts talking to you personally...rambling about incoherent things.”

At the game’s turning point, you’re given a yes/no choice to kill Dr. Andonuts. Choose yes, and the narrator (mockingly?) calls you a good person, describes the murder you commit, and then narrates what appears to be your (or their? or Varik’s?) psychological breakdown. Choose no, and the narrator tells you that’s not a real choice and redirects you back to the yes/no box. If you press the b-button to try and opt out of the choice (the game’s unofficial subtitle is “Press the B-Button Stupid,” and doing so allows you to follow Andonuts into his dream world), the narrator starts to panic, although the game ultimately ends the same way.

Not to NarraChara Real, but NarraChara Real 

The Hack is also interested in the idea of the player character as a possibly-unwilling puppet controlled by the player (who in turn is controlled by the railroading/their need to beat the game).

According to Toby:  

 As you approach someone you've never met that you're labeling as a monster, your body pushes you forward to kill him. What's funny is that it's not even uncontrolled, it's really just the force of the player's controller pushing that little bounty hunter into murdering Andonuts. You might not realize it, but Varik is almost dead, and yet he can't stop moving because you keep pushing those buttons. 

The Halloween Hack is, fundamentally, a nostalgic meditation on an existing game.

It’s a little obvious to say, but the Hack isn’t a standalone game. It’s a hack of EarthBound.

Toby writes:

EarthBound dominated my childhood, shaped my preteen years, and played a large role in molding me into the offbeat pseudohippie I am today. It gave me a sense of humor. It helped me learn how to read. Its lessons served as a basis for my sense of justice and courage.

But at age 16, Toby’s feeling about the game that had shaped him were a little mixed. He describes “the staleness of a fifteen-year-old video game” as one of his motivations for making the Hack.

In Deltarune, he (kind of hilariously) has Alphys parrot his teen-self’s “staleness” line:

(I could write a whole meta just on the Mew Mew Kissy Cutie vs Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 thing)

Still, Toby’s nostalgia for EarthBound is essential to how the Hack operates. Earlier, I said there were glimmers of an thoughtful, affecting game buried in the “bad romhack with swears.” The most genuinely moving moment in the Hack, in my opinion, is the Onett sequence. 

You wander though a faded, dream world version of Onett--the hometown from EarthBound--while a slowed down arrangement of the Onett music plays. Snatches of forgotten conversations appear on road signs. Various monsters from EarthBound follow slowly behind you, but don’t attack. The only battles are against creatures called “Remember Me?”

The EarthBound characters appear to recognize “Varik” as Ness, EarthBound’s protagonist--or are they recognizing you, the player, as the same person who played EarthBound once upon a time?

The one problem, of course, is that not everyone has played EarthBound. It’s a relatively niche game. The sense of remembrance and regret and loss in the Onett sequence is universal, but being shaped as a person by the specific video game EarthBound isn’t a universal experience.

But in the years since the Hack, Toby has created something with a wider reach than EarthBound. Something that can evoke that sense of memory and nostalgia in players. A familiar game that he can take apart, rearrange, and examine in an entirely different light.

He made Undertale.

And now he’s rearranging the pieces into Deltarune.

[kaialone]

Kirby 64 Translation: Official Character Bios

Nintendo's old Japanese website for Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards is still up today, and it has some very neat sections.

One of them features brief bios which introduce the main characters, and they are especially nice because they are written in-character.

Each character personally introduces themselves, giving us some insight into the way they talk, which is interesting to see considering the actual games feature very little real dialouge.

So, in this post I will translate each of the bios and explain some of the details regarding their different speaking styles.

Head under the cut if you're interested!

--

カービィ

はぁ～い、ぼくカービィ！リボンとはお星さまがふる夜に出会ったんだ（これって運命？）。ぼくの新しいワザ「コピー能力ミックス」があれば、どんな冒険もへっちゃらさ！リボンのために、ポップスターのなかまたちと力を合わせて「クリスタル」を探し出すよ！

Kirby

Hi~, I'm Kirby! I met Ribbon on a starry night (is this fate?) With my new 'Power Combo' moves, any adventure's gonna be a piece of cake! I'm gonna team up with my friends from Popstar and find the 'Crystals' for Ribbon!

Notes:

Yes, Kirby actually talks here. This was actually pretty common back in the day, several manuals and websites of early games had dialouge from Kirby himself, sometimes he'd even narrate most of the manual. Though I believe Kirby 64 was actually one of the last games to do this so prominently.

When speaking, Kirby uses the first-person pronoun ぼく/boku to refer to himself, which is masculine and mainly used by young boys and more soft-spoken men (especially in fiction), but is sometimes used by other as well. Aside from that, his overall speaking style is also casual, giving me the vibe of somewhat energetic little kid.

You can see him introduce himself with "Hi~!" here, which could be considered his catch-phrase in the games, rather than "poyo", which is from the anime.

--

リボン

妖精のリボンです。わたしの星「リップルスター」がまっ黒な雲におそわれてしまったの！早く戻ってみんなを助けなきゃ大変なことになっちゃう！そのためには「クリスタル」を元通りにしなくてはならないのだけど・・・。

Ribbon

I'm the fairy Ribbon. My planet, 'Ripple Star', was attacked by a pitch-black cloud! If I don't hurry back and save them, everyone will be in serious trouble! To do that, I would have to put the 'Crystal' back together...

Notes:

Ribbon used the first-person pronoun わたし/watashi to refer to herself, which is polite and gender-neutral, but is pretty much the standard pronoun for girls and young women (especially in fiction). Comparatively, it's used only rarely by men (especially in real life).

Her overall speaking style is slightly more formal and soft-spoken than Kirby, but in a way that isn't uncommon for girl characters.

--

ワドルディ

（みなさんこんにちは。ワドルディです。カービィには危ないところを助けてもらいました。カービィが楽しそうだったので、ぼくも冒険についていくことにしました（でもちょっぴりドキドキです）。ぼくの活躍にも期待してね！）・・・と、言っているらしい。

Waddle Dee

(Good day, everyone. I am Waddle Dee. Kirby saved me from a dangerous situation. Kirby seemed to be having fun, so I decided to join the adventure as well (though I am a bit nervous.) Please look forward to my contributions, too!) ...is what he appears to be saying.

Notes:

It's interesting to see that Waddle Dee here is portrayed as not speaking. Notably the anime would also not have Waddle Dees speak, but in modern times we have had examples of Waddle Dees that talk, particulary the PPP Channel crew, and then there's the quotes of the playable Waddle Dees in Star Allies.

Waddle Dee's "speaking" style here is formal and polite, pretty much standard, dictionary Japanese. Though it's unclear if this is just a result of the words being "translated" for us.

Waddle is portrayed in this text as also using the pronoun ぼく/boku. Even in formal settings, わたし/watashi can be considered too formal to use for boys and men, so they will often use ぼく/boku instead.

Note though that this Waddle Dee isn't specified to be male, the usage of ぼく/boku combined with formal language simply makes it seem likely.

--

アドレーヌ

わたしアドレーヌよ。いつものように絵の勉強をしていたら、ひとつ目の黒い雲がおそってきたの。カーくんが助けてくれて良かったー。さぁみんなー、出発しよ！悪いことをするコはこらしめなくちゃ！ちなみに、わたしの描いた絵は本物になっちゃうのよ。

Adeleine

I'm Adeleine. While I was practicing painting as usual, I got attacked by this black cloud with one eye. Good thing li'l Kirb was there to save me. Alright everybody, let's get going! We gotta teach those evildoers a lesson! By the way, the pictures I paint turn real.

Notes:

Adeleine also uses the first-person pronoun わたし/watashi. Again, it's pretty standard for girl characters. Her overall speaking style is more informal than Ribbon though, and also a bit more feminine than Kirby.

A fun detail is that she calls Kirby by the nickname カーくん/Kir-kun, which I decided to adapt as "li'l Kirb".

(There's some interesting details regarding her using this nickname, which you can read about in one of my posts regarding the connections between Ado and Adeleine, if you feel like it.)

--

デデデ大王

オレさまがデデデ大王だ！黒いやつに操られていたとはいえ、カービィなんかにやられちゃってくやしいぜ！クリスタル集め？ホントはそんなのやりたくないけど、あいつらだけじゃ心配だな。しかたがない、オレさまも手伝ってやるぜ！

King Dedede

My name is King Dedede the Great! I was being controlled by some black thing, but getting beat up by that darn Kirby is so frustrating! Collecting crystals? I really don't wanna do that, but I'd be worried if those guys went on their own. Guess I got no choice, I'll help out, too!

Notes:

King Dedede's speaking style here is informal and masculine, kinda assertive.

Adding to that, King Dedede also uses オレさま/ore-sama to refer to himself. オレ/ore is a rather informal and masculine pronoun mostly used by men, and さま/-sama is a suffix used to show great respect.

オレ/ore is already considered rude outside of casual situations, and adding さま/-sama to oneself makes it pretty arrogant and boastful.

In some earlier instances, and also later in the anime, Dedede actually used ワシ/washi instead, which is mostly used for older people in fiction, but by now オレさま/ore-sama seems to be the standard for him.

I'll take this moment to point out that these first-person pronouns aren't really "fixed", it's completely normal and expected that you would use different ones depending on the social situation and whom you are talking to.

But in works of fiction, especially ones without much realism, it's common to just have a specific one for a character.

--

And those are all the character bios from that page. I hope you enjoyed them!

If people would be interested, I might look up other instances of such in-character introductions and dialouge from early websites and manuals like that, and make some more translations like this. Feel free to tell me what to think.

As always, thank you for reading!

--

[diveronarpg]

Congratulations, MANDY! You’ve been accepted for the role of GONERIL. Admin Rosey: How long have we been clamoring for our beloved Goneril? Far too long, I think. But the wait was worth it because Mandy, you delivered us to her with a little bloodied bow on top. You gave us a taste of Goneril, and here we are, begging for more. The plots you laid out for her future captured her well, and the para sample you provided gave an insight to the narration of her thought and I absolutely adored it. But, what really sold it to me, was the very end of the application: “... I don’t think Grace has ever stopped long enough to get bored. Maybe that’s for the best though; I’m not sure the world could withstand a bored Grace Daly.” And honestly, I’m not sure I can withstand the Grace Daly you will be bringing to our stage either. But I can’t wait to try! Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

OUT OF CHARACTER

Alias | Mandy

Age | 18

Preferred Pronouns | She/Her

Activity Level | For the next 3 weeks or so, I can probably post about 3-4 times a week. After that I start university, so maybe 1-2 posts per week?  

Timezone | BST

How did you find the rp?  |  I came across it a while ago (9/10 months?) so I can’t remember exactly how, but I figure I must’ve been looking for mob-related roleplays on tumblr.

Current/Past RP Accounts | This is actually my first-time roleplaying on tumblr so I don’t have any past accounts to show. I have been roleplaying for around ¾ years though, just on different forums. I can provide some samples of my writing if you want to make sure I’d fit in here.

IN CHARACTER

Character | Goneril aka Grace Daly! And I like her current faceclaim (Úrsula Corberó).

What drew you to this character? | What initially attracted me to Grace Daly was, in fact, another character; Calina Sokolova. Whilst writing out my application for Cleopatra herself, I noticed that I had a lot to say about wanting to explore her relationship with a character so primal and brutal as Grace Daly. And the more I wrote, the more I felt I understood Grace. At the same time, my infatuation for Calina’s character diminished, and I think that was because I realised that I didn’t actually understand her all that much. Then I read the application of the last successful writer for Calina, and I know that people can have different interpretations which are equally good, but it just made me realise that I had only scratched her surface with my own. I couldn’t do a character like Calina justice; at least, not yet. Not that I consider Grace to be any easier a character to write, or inferior in terms of depth, not at all; I just understand her much better. Turns out, Calina simply wasn’t my mystery to unravel, and so here it is, my application for Grace “Goneril” Daly.

What I love most about Grace Daly is that she remains true to her nature. The violence, the brutality, the chaos—it is her and she owns it. She does not run away, or attempt to hide her darkness, she doesn’t entertain any notions of herself as a ‘good guy’, nor does she fear or try to fight the darkness within her. Right and wrong are seen as abstract concepts, and even when she knows things are ‘wrong’, it makes no difference because she does not care. She would much rather be remembered as ‘great’ than ‘good’, anyway. What Olivander said about Voldemort comes to mind; “After all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things — terrible, yes, but great.” Terrible but great, could there be a better analogy for Grace Daly? The rest of the world might see her as rotten, having lost her humanity, but one couldn’t be more primal or truer to their human nature than her. She takes what she wants, when she wants it, no matter the cost. She is a queen waiting to rule, a tragedy waiting to happen, a whirlwind to be respected, but most importantly, feared. She will carve herself a throne, whether that be from gold or your bones.

Despite being known as Goneril, she could actually be likened to Regan, in my opinion. It might seem like the sisters are an interchangeable evil duo in King Lear, but I actually think Regan is the more brutal of the two. After all, it is her who gouges out Gloucester’s eyes and thrusts him out to “smell his way to Dover”. Goneril is driven by ambition too, but I don’t see that love of violence in her characterisation. Catherine spills blood apathetically, whereas Grace thirsts for it, much like the Regan of King Lear.

Pride and the grandiose sense of self-worth, rather psychopathic traits, are also rather important cornerstones of her character. Because she has never been humiliated, never needed to ask for help, never been denied, she has this kind of smugness about her, an air of superiority. She wants to be remembered as such, a glorious vision of power, ambition, bloodlust and savagery—a legacy if there ever was one. Grace has always wanted more – more things, more money, more power, more blood – but perhaps what she craves most is recognition. Not the cheap recognition her parents gave her for simply being their daughter, no, she wants to be known as something great, something invincible, supreme, garnering as much recognition from the beggars and vagabonds lining the streets of Verona as the kings and queens in their palaces. She wants to be feared and worshipped like a God.

Along with the need to be known and remembered, comes the fear of being forgotten. People might sing Catherine praises for her angelic-ness, but they will not remember her name when she has passed like so many saints before her. At least, that’s what Grace thinks. The oldest Daly girl has long forgotten to fear death, but to become a ghost of bygone times like so many others have done in the past and most continue to do? That is literally a fate worse than death. She craves to be different, and to be revered for that difference. Death or glory—these are her options.

Whilst her impulsiveness might be seen as a weakness or a flaw, I think it makes her even more dangerous, because you can’t ever really know what she’ll do. She’s so unpredictable—one can never know whether they’ll get the cold, calculating Grace, or the wild, reckless Grace, who’s far more likely to give into her base instincts, until it’s too late. It’s unnerving how quickly she will switch between the two, but perhaps what is most alarming is when she is both at the same time. You ask how one can be cold and reckless, calculating and wild, at once? Oh, you should watch our raven-haired angel of death in action. She will beat you within an inch of your life and enjoy every second, but an inch she will leave, an inch to tell the world of your most foolish mistake: attempting to withstand the supernova that is Grace Daly.

I’ve never written such a raw, unremorseful character. In fact, I’ve never even come across such a female character in any sort of literature, let alone roleplaying. When other characters will tip-toe on the borders of insanity, Grace will crash in there with a battering ram without flinching. That is why it would be a delight and an honour to write Verona’s resident bloodthirsty empress, not that the world ever remembers one who wasn’t.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? |

1. Maybe some sort of face-off between the sisters? I don’t mean the three of them get into a ring and fight to the death, I just want a reunion of some sort, I suppose. I don’t imagine it will be at a café over brunch to discuss their childhoods, but perhaps they all need to meet up to discuss some mob business? In my mind, Grace joined the Montagues to give people a reason to remember her, not out of loyalty to anyone in the Montagues. So, if she sees an opportunity to rise the ranks, and she thinks that can be achieved by ‘offing’ one of their own captains to free up a space, I think she would definitely go to her sisters. They are Capulets, after all, and I doubt they would pass the opportunity to get rid of a high-ranking Montague. Regina, if not Catherine, anyway. At the same time, Grace doesn’t really consider her sisters to be her equals, so she might not care to do something mutually beneficial to all of them. Instead, I think she’s more likely to deceive both parties, because she’s arrogant and thinks her sisters are too naïve to understand her true intentions. Maybe that goes badly for Grace, because they really aren’t as clueless as she treats them? I don’t know, it obviously doesn’t have to pan out this way exactly, but I would really like to see the three of them having some sort of heated altercation, or just circumstance which invariably forces them to spend time together.

2. Calina vs Grace? Okay, so I know a lot of my plotting for Grace involves ‘facing off’ against other characters, but what can I say, Grace is a fighting sorta gal. In Calina’s bio, it says that “So long as [Grace’s] teeth are bared in another direction, she won’t have to make her shut her mouth,” aka Calina is happy to let sleeping demons lie, but what if they stopped lying? For whatever reason, they step in each other’s path and BAM! Chaos! Pandemonium!

As for how it happens, I was thinking something like this: Calina’s alias is Cleopatra, right, and, historically, Cleopatra was the first pharaoh to get the support of both the Greek and Egyptian subjects she ruled. In this case, the Greeks and the Egyptians are of course, the Capulets and the Montagues, respectively. Perhaps, at some later date, they are attempting to broker peace between the two mobs, and Calina, being Cleopatra, is at the forefront of this? Peace and harmony don’t work for Grace, of course, and so she tries to throw a wrench or two into their plans. Or maybe even a grenade.

3. I’d really like to explore some fiendish kind of plot that she and Ivan have. They are both quite chaotic and brutal characters, but I’d say Ivan does it for the love of chaos, whereas chaos is a side-benefit for Grace. Her true love is power; unlimited, absolute, power. So, say she hatches a plan to move up in the ranks, and figures that she might need some help from the Capulets for that. The help would be unintentional or accidental if her sisters were involved (see Plot 1), but I think she would be fairly upfront about it if she went to Ivan. Though Capulet by name, I’d say that he is first and foremost an anarchist, and Grace knows this. So, if she wants to stir the pot a bit, and wants to have some fun in the meantime, why ever not get in touch with the platonic Clyde to her platonic Bonnie? He’s never said no to a bit of mayhem. It could also be that they both plan on betraying each other, y’know, for a little more drama? Grace knows that his love of ruin and destruction is a little too dangerous to have around if her plans for dominion are ever to come to fruition, and Ivan knows that he cannot tear the world apart if there are people who wish to maintain the social order, so that one can actually hold dominion. In the end, no matter how similar their methods might be, their endgame couldn’t be more different.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Yes, but I would really like a fitting death for her; ‘’all or nothing”, essentially. Either she goes out in a blaze of glory, doing what she loves, or it somehow becomes that she loses everything, and is at the lowest of lows, and is then killed. I’d rather she didn’t die in some random mugging sort of thing, y’know? Also, pleeease, nothing like how Goneril and Regan go out in King Lear—sure poison can be involved, just not the whole other “jealous, superficial, evil sisters kill themselves over some man/throw themselves at his feet” trope. Grace thirsts for blood and power, not men.

IN DEPTH

I would genuinely do both, but I really want to send this in time for Sunday acceptances and I don’t have very long left. So, in-character para sample it is!!

***

Naivete? No, that couldn’t possibly be it. They had survived too long, accomplished too much, to be naïve. No, what truly plagued her family, whether that was their parents, or her sisters, it was blindness—or lack of vision, to be more precise. They had grown too accustomed to their life, too comfortable in the plush armchairs in front of their warm hearth, to envy the jewel-encrusted palaces that their kings and queens resided in. They were happy to settle for something mildly better than mediocrity, content to be second best, good but not that good. The Daly’s were well-off, there was no two ways about that, but they were hardly mice next to the mammoth that were the Capulets.

It was disgraceful to her. Shameless, even. How dare they be so complacent?

The babe turned girl turned woman, who had always wanted more and more and more, could not fathom the meaning of leading such an unremarkable existence. What could possibly be the meaning of life if you didn’t keep fighting for more, until there was no one left to fight, until you were the most powerful person in the room?

Throughout history and mythology, there were always trinities. Hydra, the three-headed serpent, Cerberus, the three-headed hound, and she had held out hope that herself, Regina, and Catherine, would themselves be a trinity to behold one day. Her mother and father had resigned themselves to ‘the simple life’, but children did not have to repeat their parents’ mistakes. They could be better, the Daly girls.

And yet, it wasn’t to be. Regina had come as uninspiring as they did, and Catherine, well, all saintly Catherine wanted to do was be nice. For a time, she tried convincing them, inspiring them as the eldest, but even back then Grace had had little patience for lost causes. And lost causes they were, the whole lot of them.

If she was to be anything more, it would be alone. Her family would not, could not, help her, and that meant looking for another family. Perhaps one with a little more backbone.

Extras:

I’d say that the Grace I’ve envisioned is quite similar to Villanelle from Killing Eve. However, whilst Villanelle kills because she is bored, I don’t think Grace has ever stopped long enough to get bored. Maybe that’s for the best though; I’m not sure the world could withstand a bored Grace Daly.

[masshirohebi-moved]

Hey Guys !! So, since there has been much confusion over the last few days/weeks, I have decided to post a pronoun list for Orochimaru. Please note I portray them as fully non-binary, here’s a quick definition as given to us by Wikipedia: Non-binary; Genderqueer, also known as non-binary, is a catch-all category for gender identities that are not exclusively masculine or feminine‍—‌identities which are outside the gender binary and cisnormativity. Genderqueer people may express a combination of masculinity and femininity, or neither, in their gender expression. Now, back to our serpentine Sannin!!  Orochimaru does not conform to gender regularities, and has avoided selecting either male or female titles/alignment. I have therefore decided to change pronouns over to they. In terms of appearance, physical representation and speech (as seen in the Japanese rendition) we see a feminine choice regarding these mannerisms. 

Pronouns used: they / them /themself Father/Mother: Parent Man/Woman: Person, serpent, shinobi  Boy/Girl: child, kid, little one, young serpent King/Queen: ruler, monarch, sovereign  Brother/Sister: sibling  Mr/Ms: Mx (Pronounced “ks” at the end!) Husband/Wife: partner, spouse, significant other, betrothed  Boyfriend/Girlfriend: partner, significant other Grandfather/Grandmother: grandparent  Son/Daughter: child Lord/Lady: Liege  PLEASE NOTE: Your character can call Orochimaru father/mother/boy/girl in the middle of a thread, but then, it will be due to your muse not accepting/tolerating the non-gendered alternatives.  In ooc, please do not refer to my muse as cis male or female. They are strictly non-binary. Orochimaru does not desire to fall in to either category. This is true of canon, and my portrayal. On anatomy: (please never ask someone in real life this question, the answer is always: none of your business). Orochimaru has been changing shape and form throughout the series. What’s downstairs is largely up to which form they take on that day. The options range from male anatomy, female anatomy, to an eight headed hydra from hell.  I also ask that narration respects their gender stance, which would mean avoiding saying things such as “Muse A looks at the man” (for Orochimaru is not a man), or “Muse A ignores the boy” (not a boy either) !! In speech mistakes can occur if you are implying your character wishes to ignore this preference. I’m not looking to change your muse! Your muse must say/do as they please! But I do expect the mun/narrator to take this in to consideration. On mistakes: Make them!! I am not here to be angry and intolerant. If I see you’ve made a mistake, I’ll blind side it. If I see it is a recurring mistake, I’ll politely (and I stress the word politely) come to your IM’s and let you know. It isn’t a habit we all have to slip in gender neutrals, but hey, isn’t that the point of literature? To give us a platform to normalize the things that deserve some publicity?  Thank you for those who took the time to read this!!

[itsleeviyah]

Know God

Everything is subject to doubt. Things that occupy space, opaque or transparent, active or passive, alive or dead, each has its explanation of its existence. Even the things outside the planet Earth have a lot of defenses to protect questions of validity. From the very start of a mere human to conceive wisdom, he was made to understand that God, a supreme being, has made everything possible. He started everything and has the only power to end everything. He is the explanation of everything. What is the concrete, solid and a primary evidence? The bible.

Why the bible? The bible is considered the most reliable collection of books written by numerous authors, which are primary accounts that says God exists. Just like historians seek the stories behind such event and a thing that no one could ever narrate in the present time, they look for a strong and if possible, concrete evidences which are primary sources. Though God did not write himself, the words in the bible but it is stated in the stories how they have been blessed by God and trough Him, everything had been put into a manuscript.

The bible could fill the gaps between doubt and truth. A reader may take the lines to as figurative or literal, it does not matter, the only thing for sure is that never had done harm, instead it empowers trust and delivers enlightment. Humans, as curious being, will, too, and it did happened, questioning if God is real or not. And if He is true, what is he?

Because science attempts to contradict some things explained by the bible there quite many of the famous scientists, whom are known to be the faces of IQ, do not believe in the Bible and even the existence of a supreme being. They have their experiments and travelled far latitudes to quest some answers. Linguists too, could arrive some inquiries. To some believers of His existence, God is a noun.

The word God, substantially, is an abstract noun. According to grammar.yourdictionary.com, abstract nouns represent things that can be perceived through the five senses. Though I may feel a bit odd to say that God is abstract, meaning He is one of those we call an event, a concept or an idea, He is the most special abstract to me. And yes, he provides the most beautiful abstracts like love, salvation and the like. I cannot touch Him, see Him, and Hear him personally but I believe He lives in us, we have connections. Few supports are stated in the Bible are the following:

“You saw no form of any kind the day the LORD spoke to you at Horeb out of the fire. Therefore watch yourselves very carefully” (Deuteronomy 4:15).

“Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.” (1 Timothy 1:17).

But He said, "You cannot see my face; for no man shall see me, and live" (Exodus 33:20).

 God is a spirit. 

A verse from Genesis 1:27 said, “So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” This signifies that a human is a reflection of the image of God therefore, if taken literally, He has all the sense organs and He has the form of a physical body. It taken figuratively, as humans feel, hear, see, smell, taste and think, he, too, has the ability. Indeed, because He, again, made humans a reflection of His.

But He is a powerful, unique and  mortal therefore, he is a spirit with this figure.

He proved His existence to humankind as a spirit first, and in a form of Human through Jesus Christ  and lastly, the Holy Spirit but they are one. Therefore, God is a singular noun. Not collective nor plural. Isaiah 45: 5-6, in the old testament  says, “I am God, the only God there is. Besides me there are no real gods. I'm the one who armed you for this work, though you don't even know me, So that everyone, from east to west, will know that I have no god-rivals. I am God, the only God there is.” 

Since the beginning, He is.  The bible said in the book of Genesis 1:1-2 said that, “In the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth, the earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from God swept over the face of the waters.”  This signifies that the only one who has seen the human’s habitat before it was made alive was God and God alone. Nobody was with him in this space. 

God is also a countable noun, he is not is a form of grain, liquid or gas. He and the humankind has the same likeness. Again, He said He is the only ONE.

The word God is can be of proper or common noun. Other people of another culture have their gods, whom are different from mine and in that case, it could be common but my God is a proper noun. He don’t have a specific name stated in the Bible for he is God. 

If we question about why do we, I, capitalize the ‘G’ in God and pronouns that refer to Him like ‘Him’ and ‘He’, that is called reverential capitalization. According to Wikipedia, it   is the practice of capitalizing words, particularly pronouns, that refer to a deity or divine being. It is to show respect or reverence for any particular divinity—belief therein implied on the part of the author who capitalizes pronouns in reference to such being—is not universal. In short, when pronouns are capitalized which usually are lowercase, this usually implies that the writer personally reveres and regards as a deity the antecedent of that pronoun. This case is subjective.

Personally, it is awful to question a being whom I believe without doubts and questions. It is somehow a disgrace to argue about a being whom I adore and respect the most. However, I am trying to defend what I believe in through my little understanding of how great my God is. This is also to call an action that instead of wasting my youth to conquer the hardships in the world, I, too, should work to know my God in order to follow his righteousness.

Well, “ Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” (John 20:24-29 ESV)

[recentanimenews]

Walking My Second Path in Life, Vol. 1

By Otaku de Neet and Kurodeko. Released in Japan as “Watashi wa Futatsume no Jinsei wo Aruku!” by Earth Star Entertainment. Released in North America digitally by J-Novel Club. Translated by Shirley Yeung.

It can be somewhat difficult to recommend light novel series at times, particularly the ones that are licensed over here, which tend to be marketed to the anime/manga fan, and generally speaking the male anime/manga fan. Many is the time I’ve read a series with many points to recommend it, only to have the storyline have a hero who gains about eight other women in love with him, or where the story is fine but the illustrations do nothing but show off the half-naked female form. Even The Faraway Paladin, which is about the closest comparison I can make to the title I’m reviewing, has elements of the classic “reincarnated in another world” story to it, though that lessens as the series goes along. But Walking My Second Path in Life is the first light novel I’ve read, I believe, that I can honestly say: this does not feel like a light novel. It feels like a romance book (with little to no romance) written for the average female North American reader.

Our heroine is the twin sister of the new Queen of a country. In fact, Fie is also, technically, married to the King as well – the twin sisters were a package deal. The problem is that Fie is the Unfavorite, and also has a reputation for being horrible. As such, the King gives her a pavilion of the palace to live in, with servants who one by one quit till she’s left alone to, presumably, starve to death. (The King’s callous motivations are rather ambiguous throughout.) Choosing not to do this, she instead comes across a flyer trying to get squires for the company of knights. She thus decides to cut off her hair, dress as a boy named Heath, and use the rudimentary sword training she got as a princess when someone bothered to give her the time of day to become a knight. The rest of the book is her life as a squire after achieving this, which (despite her best efforts) keeps occasionally intersecting with her old life – not least of which being the identity of her company commander.

The unfortunately named Otaku de Neet (it’s apparently a tortuous kanji pen name, but it leaves the fan who knows those two terms feeling very wary) has done an excellent job with Fie, who is your typical bright, enthusiastic young lad sort… except she (the book uses female pronouns throughout, and also calls her “Fie” in narration- Heath is a secret identity, after all) has a crafty, snarky, mean side to her as well. The mean side to her actually makes up some of the best scenes in the book, such as when she (in a flashback as Princess Fie) beats up rapist pedophiles with impunity, or when she gets around the fact that one of the squires has found out her secret by blackmailing him and treating him as a dog (trust me, it’s far more lighthearted and hilarious than it sounds). She’s a nice person at heart, though, be it Fie or Heath, and the rest of the main cast are also people who, while some are more fleshed out than other, I genuinely enjoy reading about. (I am morbidly curious about the other twin, who Fie never interacts with in this book.)

I won’t spoil some of the other great scenes – suffice to say the entire chapter with Cain is a treasure from beginning to end. I will note there is an attempted rape of an underage servant here, but Fie nips that in the bud before anything can happen. The illustrations are cute and fit the materials quite well. Even the squad member who dresses up as a woman in order to spy on the enemy is treated with (relative) respect and not made into the “comedy gay man”. Plus, since it’s only two volumes so far in Japan, you’re not laying out a lot of cash. I can’t even call it a fantasy – there doesn’t appear to be any magic in this world, it’s just a straight up medieval kingdom sort of world. If you like books with (pardon the expression) strong female leads, I highly recommend this series, possibly the biggest pleasant surprise I’ve seen from J-Novel Club to date.

By: Sean Gaffney

[streetlamphalo]

Too Like the Lightning by Ada Palmer

Rating: ★★★★

Many thanks to Tor Books and NetGalley for the copy of this book.

It’s not very often that I get so stumped by a book, particularly on the Kindle, and find myself reading it over nearly a month, despite it being only 400-odd pages (considering I have Neal Stephenson’s Quicksilver waiting for me at the library and that’s an absolute doorstopper, we’ll see how I actually get on...). It’s a very dense, very slow book, one that insists on you working for the information and actually paying attention. Not because there isn’t a lot of info dump (there is), but because the information provided is so complicated, so confusing, it’s hard to initially follow. To an extent, I am almost glad that even when it fails to live up to all its expectations, you are still left with an engaging and interesting work of sci-fi. 

In the very distant future, you are introduced to Mycroft Canner, the narrator of the book, a man convicted to be a Servicer -- one who must make himself useful to others in order to atone for his crime (a crime that is slowly revealed). In the world of the 25th century, as alien from today as 2017 would be to the Age of Enlightenment, religion has been banned and so have gendered pronouns. Countries no longer exist, the world instead being split into Hives that people choose to belong to based on varying interests. Travel is made possible by flying cars capable of crossing the Atlantic in an hour, so borders are now entirely a thing of the past. Families live in bash’es, structures based not around immediate family ties, but communal ones (despite there still being some degree of familial relationship, they’re not really structured as parents ---> children). Even the rulers of the seven Hives act, at times, like a bash’, completely incestuous and intermingled, which I’m sure is entirely the point. Into this world comes the wildcard that could bring about war: the child Bridger, capable of making inanimate objects come to life. 

Mycroft, as it transpires, is a completely unreliable narrator, withholding information when it suits him, breaking the fourth wall to apologise to the reader (and immediately ending up putting you on the defensive, with Palmer even adding in reactions that this hypothetical reader may have) and constantly trying to manipulate opinions and feelings. Although gendered pronouns have been banned, he insists on using ‘he’ and ‘she’, ostensibly to help this hypothetical reader (despite this being aimed at an audience even further into the future?), but it transpires that even these pronouns are shifty and deceitful (the King of Spain, despite being referred to as a ‘he’, very much has female anatomy). It’s a mindfuck and a distraction, but one that eventually does come to make a lot of sense (and I have a feeling the sequel will expand on this quite a bit). It’s hard to keep track of what’s true and what isn’t, so in that respect Too Like the Lightning is very much ripe for re-reads. 

So why only 4 stars? Because that info dump I mentioned is basically the first 40% of the book, something that makes me weary of recommending the book. Sure, if you stick through it, the rest of the novel more than makes up for it, but on the other hand, Palmer is essentially asking you to trust her for almost half the story before names, titles, factions and loyalties even start making sense. The ending alone managed to bump this half a star, but I don’t feel it quite redeems that very slow start. The ideas at play are intriguing and definitely worth exploring, which is why I’m really hoping the sequel comes out on Kindle soon in the UK -- but the execution of it all could have been much better. 

Too Like the Lightning has actually managed to reignite my interest in hard sci-fi and I’m really hopeful that this will continue with the aforementioned Quicksilver, Ann Leckie’s Ancillary Justice  and a planned continuation of the late, great Iain M. Banks’ Culture novels (I read up to Use of Weapons, which is only book 4 of 10). Palmer has a breadth of great, even fantastic, ideas and if you have the patience to stick it out, it truly delivers on that promise. I’m very excited for the sequel and the second duology in this planned quartet, and you should be too.