#the most fun and fulfilling project ive ever worked on actually

[trashworldblog]

on week 5 of the teachers strike

[amber-laughs]

Thank you so much for your answer! I'd love to hear your thoughts on their relationship before the series begins. We know that the scene they shared in agot was not reflective of their actual dynamic even if most people loooove to forget that part. How did they interact? Did they ever? How was their relationship especially when Jon was a toddler or around 7-8? Thank you for your time!

oh fun question! well let's start from the beginning, we know that Catelyn was upset to find Jon in Winterfell before her

When the wars were over at last, and Catelyn rode to Winterfell, Jon and his wet nurse had already taken up residence. That cut deep. A Game of Throne- Catelyn II

but keep in mind Catelyn didn't know Ned yet. they'd obviously met and married but she doesn't really know anything about his temperament yet and even with that she's just arrived in a new place that will be her home forever, there's no way out, so the idea of her immediately showing her displeasure with Jon or Ned feels unlikely to me because in Family, Duty, Honor fashion she would first and foremost try to make her new family work to fulfill her father's alliance and be forced to put her wounded honor to the side. we know she did eventually work up the courage to ask Ned about Ashara Dayne

The Lady Ashara Dayne, tall and fair, with haunting violet eyes. It had taken her a fortnight to marshal her courage, but finally, in bed one night, Catelyn had asked her husband the truth of it, asked him to his face. That was the only time in all their years that Ned had ever frightened her. "Never ask me about Jon," he said, cold as ice. A Game of Thrones- Catelyn II

Ned scared her so bad she never asked again and neither did the servants. Now the fandom has a pretty simplistic, whitewashed view of Ned that isn't supported in canon but I would still call this out of character for him and Catelyn does too but remember, she barely knew him at this point, so it makes sense why she completely dropped the topic of not just Ashara but probably Jon as whole for a few years. but of course we know it does come up again.

Now I personally think the real trouble would start to come in as Jon was weened and was still in Winterfell. If he no longer needed a wet-nurse there's no reason not to foster him off in classic bastard fashion and Catelyn clearly thinks so too

Whoever Jon's mother had been, Ned must have loved her fiercely, for nothing Catelyn said would persuade him to send the boy away. It was the one thing she could never forgive him. A Game of Thrones- Catelyn II

Catelyn, of her own admission, was often trying to get Ned to kick Jon out of Winterfell. now this is where I need to remind people that I LOVE Catelyn Tully Stark. I'm on her team, I'm on her side, I'd buy her Mother's Day gifts if I could. most people in this fandom are actually pretty chill about the Catelyn Jon dynamic but there are two sides that think catelyn was an evil abusive wicked witch of the west specifically out to get an infant because she just feels like being evil and another side that thinks she never did anything to him and he's a spoiled brat who should be grateful she didn't make him sleep outside and eat only dog food. both are extremely annoying.

the truth is Catelyn was cruel to Jon and yes by George RR Martin's own words she never laid hands on him and she wasn't directly berating him throughout the years because like I said Catelyn isn't evil and she doesn't enjoy cruelty but when a child says he feels guilty eating in front of you there's a problem.

Jon wondered how Lady Catelyn's sister would feel about feeding Ned Stark's bastard. As a boy, he often felt as if the lady grudged him every bite. A Dance With Dragons- Jon IV

now it's possible Jon is projecting his own insecurities on to Catelyn here except:

Catelyn had nothing against this girl, but suddenly she could not help but think of Ned's bastard on the Wall, and the thought made her angry and guilty, both at once. She struggled to find words for a reply. A Game of Thrones- Catelyn VI

Catelyn does feel guilty for the way she's treated Jon. yes making Jon feel uncomfortable in Winterfell served a purpose, making sure he knows its not his. he has no right to it. Robb does. Robb will inherit. If not Robb then Bran, if not Bran then Rickon and so on and so forth. but none the less it was fucking mean. but here's the thing, Catelyn can't change society, she's navigating the rules she's given and Ned isn't, I imagine that would send her up a wall sometimes. because as she said Ned can have all the bastards he wants and she wouldn't care but Jon has no business being there and no business being treated like a true born next to her actual true born sons

"This is Valyrian steel, my lord," he said wonderingly. His father had let him handle Ice often enough; he knew the look, the feel. A Game of Thrones- Jon VIII

why the hell is Jon being allowed to handle the Stark ancestral sword? this is so widely out of the norm for Westeros it almost feels illegal. I can completely understand why Catelyn started trying to drill into Robb's head that Jon was different from him

That morning he called it first. "I'm Lord of Winterfell!" he cried, as he had a hundred times before. Only this time, this time, Robb had answered, "You can't be Lord of Winterfell, you're bastard-born. My lady mother says you can't ever be the Lord of Winterfell." A Storm of Swords- Jon XII

and it's also known throughout the Winterfell that there are hostilities between Jon and Catelyn. when Robb see's Jon is upset he immediately wonders if his mother is the reason

His voice was flat and tired. The visit had taken all the strength from him. Robb knew something was wrong. "My mother …" "She was … very kind," Jon told him. A Game of Thrones- Jon II

Jon also famously has the line where he admits Catelyn has never so much as called him by his name before so on Catelyn's side the relationship is somewhere on a spectrum from non existent to hostile. on Jon's side? well we know that Jon very consciously craved a mother

He knew nothing of his mother; Eddard Stark would not talk of her. Yet he dreamed of her at times, so often that he could almost see her face. A Game of Thrones- Jon III

often felt like he had to prove himself to his father

Bastard children were born from lust and lies, men said; their nature was wanton and treacherous. Once Jon had meant to prove them wrong, to show his lord father that he could be as good and true a son as Robb. I made a botch of that.  A Storm of Swords- Jon X

and I want to be clear, I know it wasn't Catelyn's job to make Jon feel welcome in his home, Ned really dropped the ball. It's Ned's fault that Jon just assumed he'd be destitute with no prospects by the time he turned 16 and it shows in the way Jon craves father figures in his life after he leaves Winterfell. Jeor Mormont, Benjen Stark, Mance Rayder, Maester Aemon, Stannis Baratheon I mean the list goes on. The thing is though there are no older women in Jon's life. Not at the Wall and not really in Winterfell either. He and Robb don't seem to take lessons from Septa Mordane and while Old Nan certainly taught him some important stories she doesn't seem to have set a maternal presence in his life.

I'm not saying Catelyn was or should have been Jon's mother because she wasn't and it surely wasn't her job but I do think she subconsciously fills that second parental placeholder in his head next to Ned because he clearly craves one but has no other woman to fill it.

Lord of Winterfell. I could be the Lord of Winterfell. My father's heir. It was not Lord Eddard's face he saw floating before him, though; it was Lady Catelyn's. A Storm of Swords- Jon XII

while this isn't Jon's deciding factor the idea of upsetting her or once again being rejected by her really bothers him, so much so that he can't even go on training with his friends, he has to leave and take a walk all alone. She's also one of the deciding factors when he's deciding whether to take his lifelong vows for the Night's Watch.

By the time the moon was full again, he would be back in Winterfell with his brothers. Your half brothers, a voice inside reminded him. And Lady Stark, who will not welcome you. A Game of Thrones- Jon V

but let's be clear Jon isn't just sitting around waiting for her to hug him. he doesn't like her either.

"Lady Stark is not my mother," Jon reminded him sharply. Tyrion Lannister had been a friend to him. If Lord Eddard was killed, she would be as much to blame as the queen. A Game of Thrones- Jon VII

he blames her for Ned's death just as much as he blames Cersei which is unfair and a bit delusional but childhood resentment will do that to a 15 year old.

So what was Jon and Catelyn's relationship like? Bad. Catelyn and Jon never had a chance. they were failed by the system. women and bastards seem to have a lot in common in Westeros in the sense that their agency is greatly limited. their safety rests on the graces of whatever man has placed their claim on them and this woman and this bastard were vying for the graces of the same man and felt one couldn't have it if the other did too. which is a shame in and of itself because I think they're both better at this game than Ned was.

***Less about their pre-series relationship but Jon and Catelyn have so much in common thematically and politically speaking. I did a parallel of them if you'd like to check it out

[homestuckhecc]

Hey all, its been a while...

heeeeeeyy its been like what, more than a year since ive been proper active? Since the year is about to end I wanted to at least let ya'll know i'm alive at least lol. I also wanted to update you guys on myself and my projects (since im talking on the side account ya'll know im taking about HSEI).

I have this thing called an office job which is uber fun and totally doesn't make me tired by the end of the day but hey, the pay is not bad.

Anyways during this year i've been hit with that creative depression so I haven't been working on ANYTHING but I've had my spark come back towards the end of the year but haven't posted anything so I just have a couple of drawings I've done (mostly redraws) but its SOMETHING at least. ivealsobeenreadingjojosbizzareadventurespart1-5whichhastotallynotbeenconsumingcomeofmyeveningtimeandthoughts

Most importantly, I do plan on continuing HSEI albeit i will have to redraw some of the panels AGAIN since i find some of them mega cringe/could really use an update in style (and some sprites could use a fix before they show up). I really do want this series to be completed since it's a project that I did out of fun and since people actually liked it I wanted to fulfill the goal.

Last thing, similar to HSEI I still plan on finishing Skaiabic (might change the name) as I have been slowly piecing it pre/during/post story and it is significant to my main stories so at SOME POINT I do need to finish it lol. I have made some more sprites but I still got a ways to go if im ever to go complete it ehehehe

that is all for my update and Have A Happy New Year!!

[perhapsthanatos]

10:32 pm with yuta ♡

nct’s yuta x fem!reader (got inspired by a dream of mine & found the idea really cute)

alternate title: be the james dean to my audrey hepburn

genre: fluff. a pinch of angst. non idol au. badboy!yuta au.

word count: 1400~

playlist: chinatown by wild nothing, lover’s rock by tv girl & work this time by king gizzard and the lizard wizard.

warnings: featuring johnny (not a warning though). smoking cigarettes. cursing. lowercase intended. not proofread.

a/n: hi i was supposed to post a vampire!haechan fic but i really wasnt happy w it in general :( the plot or overall idea of the fic was really good, but i just felt as if i didnt do it justice so here we are :( but ngl, i kind of like this concept more? maybe bc i can see it more vividly? idk, i feel like my writings r getting repetitive & its getting on my nerves lmaoo this is getting long im sorry do u guys even read this part anyway? i would also like to apologize abt the amount of projecting im doing lmao ive been having some rough days & i love my sister but hate being compared to her so often so this is a way for me to rant abt it ig? also so sorry its coming out a little later bc i woke up late today (& procrastinated for the rest of it so here i am posting really late at night) & decided to go to the convenience store to get ice cream (& a ton of other bad shit pls dont do this its rlly unhealthy) for breakfast bc i can :) any who, enjoy lovelies <3

“oh my, y/n! you’ve grown up so well! just like your sister!”

“oh! i’m sorry i’ve almost mistaken you for your sister! y/n is your name, correct?”

“y/n, darling, you are looking so dashing! you really do resemble your sister, don’t you?”

“ah, you must be y/n! i’ve heard all about you and your sister from your father!”

you swear that your reddening cheeks are threatening to fall off any moment now from all the fake smiling. the hundreds of superficial compliments, the insincere flattery and the need for these people to constantly compare you to your godforsaken sister makes you feel even weaker than you are. it gets harder and harder to keep up with a big persona that isn’t at all you. as lucky as you are to live such a lavish lifestyle, you can’t help but hate how your family has to be so perfect. you hate how you have never fit in with them, even if you are so good at faking it. you hate how you have always been stuck in your sister’s shadow, constantly haunted with the reminder that you yourself aren’t good enough. you hate how you now have to entertain the rich and brainless guests at your parent’s gala because she’s gone for some stupid prodigy competition and everyone is only talking about her in front of your face. so what if she’s better the better sister? you still have the right to earn respect, right?

you’re exhausted from all the small talk. your facade gets more brittle by the second under all the pressure. your body feels as if it's gonna give out due to your brain shutting down after all that interacting. you try to keep on going with the night as it unravels itself by being the perfectly poised poster child, trying to make your parents proud. but alive yet almost completely devoid, you decide enough was enough. what if you left right now? no one would notice, would they?

after pulling up your phone discreetly to send a few text messages, you pass through lots of people dressed in gold and finery in a way that wouldn’t have you noticed right away. keep your head down and don’t you dare make eye contact with anyone. nearing the end of the room, grabbing the first glass of whatever alcohol you see and downing it in one gulp, you start walking away as quickly as possible from the ballroom. “ignorant privileged fucks,” you angrily whisper to no one in particular, setting the now empty glass on whatever surface and begin to head to the main exit where no one could spot you running away.

“and what do you think you’re doing here, miss?”

a voice interrupts you, looking up you see that it is your father’s head butler; johnny. he is dressed in a simple black suit that makes him appear taller than he is. his long brown hair is slicked back and his bowtie seems brand new. you have known the man since he started working in your household less than ten years back. you were a reckless child, often trying to find ways to sneak out, finding a way to escape from this life and he sympathized with you. after all, he could barely imagine living your life, never catching a break for yourself and always pretending to be someone you weren’t. he often helped planning when you would sneak out into the night, scheduling things like what time you should leave and what time you should be back, more specifically a time when no one would notice. he would take care of your form of transportation and have your location on at all times, just to be extra safe. as much as he wants you to have fun and have a bit of freedom, he still worries that something might happen to you. because of all this, you two have grown to have a very strong bond. you could confidently say that he is most definitely a parental figure in your life since your parents (and even your sister) are often overseas for work.

“what do you think i’m doing? you think i wanna be in a room with those half-baked bipeds? fuck no!”

“i know, i was just joking. you looked like you were about to explode in there, i wish i could help.” he laughs, pulling out his phone preparing what you might need. “so what will it be for today? the driver? we just need to pay him to keep his mouth shut. a taxi? it’s cheaper than paying the driver, but you still need to pay… not like that’s a problem for you though. maybe an uber would be good enough—“

“actually, i got myself covered. thanks.”

his jaw slightly drops and his eyebrows furrow. he looks straight at you in shock. “what do you mean you got yourself covered?”

you look down at your feet, a nervous habit. “i got myself a ride, you don’t need to help me. i’ll be back as soon as dawn comes.”

he raises his eyebrow. “who’s your ride?”

“doesn’t matter,” you glance down at your phone seeing a notification and wave a goodbye, leaving rather suddenly. “i gotta go, i’ll text you when you need to open the gates!”

“y/n! wait! who’s your ride— and she’s gone.” johnny sighs, watching as you run towards the front gates, tossing your stiletto heels away on the grass while you’re at it. he heads back inside, silently hoping you’ll be fine.

knocking the window of the old black mustang parked outside behind the big bushes, the driver rolls down his window and sends the most charming smile.

yuta in his black beanie, long blonde hair, worn out doc martens, signature leather jacket and black skinny jeans. it almost makes you laugh on how he wears the same thing almost everyday but still manages to look so good.

he is most notable for having a big bad boy reputation and you knew that he was the breath of fresh air you needed in your life. a person who can understand having the pressure of having to be or to fulfill your persona. a person you can completely be yourself around. a person who is full of warmth no matter how cold he may seem on the outside.

“get in, princess.”

and that was all you needed. you tiredly walked to the other door and sat yourself in the car. rolling his window back up, he looks at you. you are wearing a simple yet stunning black dress along with silver jewelry adorned on your neck and wrists. your makeup is perfectly done but still struggles to hide the fog in your eyes. he has the sudden urge to clear them away. he softens at the sight of you. no one is perfect, but he finds you being perfect enough without ever having to dress up.

“where to?” he asks as gently as he could. he knows that you are most vulnerable during these moments and that it is hard to finally break down your walls after a day full of stress, so he doesn’t pry immediately. all he wants to do is to keep you here, safe and away from your burdens and for you to stay comfortable with him, even if it couldn't be for long. but is that too selfish of him to ask? he hates how you hate your life and it is taking every bone in his body to not run away with you. but who is he to tell you what to do or what to change anyway? all he can do for now is try to find a way to make you genuinely smile.

“take me anywhere,” you whisper to the latter. “i just want to be as far from myself and my life as possible. miles away or the nearest convenience store, just take the long way home before dawn.”

you look down at the cup holders, spotting an open cigarette box. you tug one out of the nineteen and light it with the lighter you kept in your pocket. you lean back and close your eyes. he only admires as you bring the cigarette to your lips, exhaling a cloud of smoke afterwards. letting the radio play quietly, he starts the car and begins to drive away from the mansion. he can’t help but wonder how you (an elegant daughter) and him (a bad boy) are millions of worlds apart, but more similar than you think.

© perhapsthanatos (efa)

[dickpuncher420]

fic writer review

tagged by @chitsangenthusiast thank u kath <33

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

23! which is. so crazy to me?? no way i’ve written that many stories lmao

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

144,536 (also like half of that is from this past year alone LMAO??)

3. how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

only 3: atla, daughter of smoke and bone, and leviathan. and since 2015 ive only written for atla lol

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

fumbling towards ecstasy

love language

sunday morning

the kind of love (i’ve been dreaming of)

before the storm

5. do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i try to!! i’ve def been slacking recently, and i generally only respond to comments on a new fic for a certain amt of time after it’s been posted. but i like to do it bc i LOVE when fic authors respond to my comments, so i just want to return the favour to other ppl who might feel the same way! :)

6. what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

LMAO i was about to say none and then i remembered as we fade in the dark, which i wrote years and years ago so i just forgot it existed hfhsjs

7. do you write crossovers? if so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

nah, not a fan of em

8. have you ever received hate on a fic?

omg YES i got THE funniest comment on victory lap where this person was just SO MAD that sokka was a dick to zuko abt figure skating, calling him toxic and shit akwhdjwhs like i swear they just completely missed the entire point of the fic it was so funny

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

FUCK yeah i do baby. idk if i would say i specifically write a certain kind of smut but i am very fond of writing established relationship sex where they’re just very comfortable w each other and already know each other really well. which is funny bc my most popular fic is a first time sex fic but oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

10. have you ever had a fic stolen?

as far as im aware no

11. have you ever had a fic translated?

nope! i did have fumbling towards ecstasy podficced tho if that’s anything?

12. have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes, once, and tbh i don’t think i’d ever do it again djhsjshs it’s just not rlly my jam

13. what’s your all-time fave ship?

i rlly don’t think it’s that hard to guess LMAO

14. what’s a fic you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

ughh i hesitate to say lover come back bc i am still dead set on finishing it one day but i just haven’t made any real progress on it in so long and just arrfgghhdh it haunts me. i have so much of it written already and i don’t want it all to just go to waste :(

15. what are your writing strengths?

i’d say…dialogue and having my writing feel very physically grounded in the moment. personally, i don’t like to spend a lot of time in that sort of abstract, reflective headspace—i prefer to focus on specific, concrete moments and interactions. i try to bring attention to the sensory side of things to make it feel more tangible

16. what are your writing weaknesses?

both over- and under-editing lol. sometimes i’ll rework a line or passage too much when it was much better off the way i’d originally written it. and sometimes i’m so intent on just getting things done and posting that i don’t spend much time editing at all

17. what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages on a fic?

personally i would never do it myself, and i’m not a huuge fan of it in other fics either. there is one rlly old makorra fic that i love tho that does it and i think it works incredibly well in the specific context that it’s in

18. what was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

leviathan! those books were my first introduction into any kind of fandom stuff, they still hold a special place in my heart

19. what is your favorite fic ever written?

my favourite fic that I’VE ever written is probably victory lap, closely followed by love language. i’m still incredibly proud of both of them, but victory lap wins out in that it was such a huge, daunting project that i never expected to actually complete—and then i smashed out 26k words of the most self-indulgent au i’ve ever written in a little over two weeks and i was like. holy fucking shit. i can’t believe i did that JFHSJSH

also i’m very happy with the way i managed to execute all the stuff about sokka’s feelings and motivations and the struggles of being an athlete. it was just such a fun and fulfilling way to combine two of my biggest interests ^_^

now if we’re talking abt my favourite fic that someone else has written….shit. pls don’t ask me that, i can’t choose >_< i have a favourites tag in my bookmarks for a reason

tagging: @dameferre @goldrushzukka @ofherlionheart @foyal @lesbianvampireboyfriend @quenchyest @zukkababey @badgerfrogzukka

[theangry-ace]

currently playing: Charade Maniacs

quite possibly the most mysterious otome game I’ve played yet. and again, I’m having quite a hard time to follow the story. it’s as bad as Tengai ni Mau, but at least this one I can understand at most 30% of what’s happening. Tengai ni Mau I just don’t know what actual fuck was happening all through out the entire game.

the concept is in future Japan, our MC, Hiyori and her overprotective osananajimi suddenly found themselves in another world where the “people” there doesn’t seem like normal human being. it’s like they’re robots, or something that not used to be a human. along with them are 8 other guys and a mysterious masked person - the Director - who said all 10 of them are to be there, Arcadia, and to occasionally play a short skit or drama to gain points. the points can be used to ‘purchase’ anything they want, but if their points to reach zero, they will be erased for existence. finishing their forced job as an actor would grant them a wish to be fulfilled.

unfortunately, among 10 of them, one of them is the person who led them to be chosen to Arcadia; the Producer. who is the traitor?

part1: Kyouya, Tomose & Mamoru routes

though honestly, I don’t think I would continue clear other routes. maybe. my Japanese is way too low to understand the details of this fucking gamee

if anyone can explain to me the game plot, also the spoiler of who is the Producer and why the heck he’s doing all of these, that’ll be great. 

my first impression of this game was; “HOLY SHIT 9 CAPTURE TARGETS?!!” but then I found out “thERE’S A HIDDEN CHARACTER AS WELL???” I just know I’m gonna be a mess for this game. I expect it to be kinda dark of a theme but not entirely? I think most of the creepy vibes were taken off to some degree by the awesome BGM. still, I don’t really get some details of the entire plot, shameful to admit. no. correction; I understand exactly nothing from the plot so..

all I know that aside from the Producer hiding among them, there’s also a Sponsor who had been possibly working together to keep them all there. a

Kyouya

he is the genki guy of the 10 of them, and despite being kidnapped to another world, he's the most optimistic and motivated that they all will be out of this psychopath of a forced imprisonment. he sees himself as a superhero that will protect and help everyone. he even said, when knowing there’s at least 2 traitors (the Producer and the Sponsor) among them, that doesn’t mean that they should all start to doubt everybody and distrust them.

turns out the Sponsor among them is Kyouya’s parents. they were one of the main contributor (or supporter) of this whole ‘kidnapping people into forced reality tv to act in skits for the sake of amusement’. kinda. I’m pretty hazy about that... anyway. but Kyouya is there to stop the psychopathic project. he actually had two little sisters, both was also been made the Cast of the project but they failed to meet the necessary points needed and was deleted out of existence, and that includes from the Kyouya’s memory. it was said because being no longer remember what you lost is much easier. he was very devastated when he began to remember them, and felt so bad how he could ever forget about his two sisters.

Kyouya managed to gained enough points to have his wish, but there was a catch that asshole Director just suddenly announced; he could only wish one person to return to the real world, or but one to remain. he chose the latter, and Hiyori was mega sad. he stayed and he promised to continue to stop Arcadia, and retrieve his two sisters.

Tomose

dude is younger than Hiyori, and used to be the target of bullies. Hiyori, with her strong oneechan power, took the role of his protector. he came to secretly fallen in love with her as the years gone by, and he swore he would do anything to protect her in return. despite his near-obsession towards Hiyori, she never agreed nor encouraged this behavior. she simply said she saw him as just the osananajimi, and nothing else. 

with the little that I can understand from his route, there’s not really any new revelation aside that Hiyori suspected Tomose to be the Sponsor because he kept saying he didn’t mind staying there in Arcadia so long he could play the role of her boyfriend. you’re twisted, my dude. I might missed a lot of the stories in Tomose’s route, because, fuck, a lot of the ‘explanation’ was left to Hiyori. which means no narration, and fucking shit my reading skill is lower than an elementary kid so... oh. Hiyori got her ‘emotions’ yanked out of her when she refused to do the play and kept on telling Tomose how he was wrong, and that he was acting like not the Tomose she knew.

in the end, after a thrilling (/sarcasm) game of charades with the resident of Arcadia, Tomose was about to wish for all of them to return before the Producer dropped his asshole of a new rule. Tomose wanted to say that he would remain while everyone was to sent home, but Shouta stepped in saying he volunteered to stay instead. dude said he liked playing games so he didn’t mind staying in Arcadia. I suspect he might be the Director....?

after getting back home, Tomose and Hiyori decided to start all over again with their relationship.

Mamoru

a soft spoken and overall very tender guy, Mamoru didn’t stand out that much among the 10. he gave Hiyori a teddy bear to cheer her up when he think she was not feeling too good after the whole thing of them trying to find a loophole of Arcadia as an existence while they were doing a maintenance. they were supposed to stay at the house they’re staying but he and Hiyori went to another place. in result they saw the real form of the people in Arcadia. they were slimy alien looking creatures.

for some time, Hiyori was terribly traumatized by what she discovered and could no longer see the Another Worlders in the eye. then later Mamoru refused to act in a skit where he would have to stab the co-star. he begged to the Director that he could take anything of his, just not his right hand. so Mamoru got his leg paralyzed and had to walk with a cane afterwards. 

Mamoru’s personality changed since then, and the other kids started to think it’s proof enough he’s not the Producer who was supposed to be hiding within them. Hiyori caught him went out late at night and asked him where he gone, but he never answered and continued being cold and distant. then later there was a skit asking for Hiyori and Mamoru that involved a kissing scene. before it could start, Mamoru called the Director that he didn’t want to do it and would accept another penalty. he lost his sight this time, and as he was hurrying on his way away, Hiyori caught his right hand that he treasured more than his life and felt the slimy unholy texture of the alien she had seen before.

Mamoru closed himself in his room for days until Hiyori managed to talk to him. he admitted to be the Sponsor and also the person responsible for taking them all to Arcadia. he also admitted to be one of the Arcadian people through his dad and his mom was one of the past Cast. every other explanation he gave I didn’t quite get like why he became a Sponsor? also how could a child could be made from one of those emotionless alien who’s barely human and an actual human? from Kyouya’s end, Hiyori woke up on a bed connected to an IV, meaning she went to Arcadia only in her conscious so...??? well. anyway. because he is part Arcadian part Human, he never belonged to neither of them. the Arcadian makes fun of him and gave him less points for his acts, while at the same time he knew he is less than a human to familiarize with another human.

I actually didn’t manage to see to his route to the end because... the lack of my understanding of the plot really made the climax so boring.

and that’s it. I prolly won’t be able to go through other routes. I took a peek at each of them’s walkthrough and saw either Mei or Takumi being the Producer since theirs has multiple endings. I’m betting on Takumi because if any character’s gonna be shady, might as well be the most innocent looking one. 

I might clear Mizuki’s though because, let’s face it, they’re the most interesting person of all.

so in conclusion: I really need someone to explain to me this game’s story. I’m way underqualified for it.

[maryellencarter]

Yay laptop! *type type type*

So I reblogged this meme a bit ago as a reminder to answer all the questions for Wes when I had time. Technically I’m procrastinating on a writing thing, but I’m stuck on that one, so. ^_^

1) Something this character is truly proud of. -- You know, this one is kind of tricky, because as much as Wes acts like a blowhard, he doesn’t actually brag on his achievements very much. His looks, sure. Other people’s achievements, absolutely. But he projects that “not a badass” image about himself. I think he’s definitely proud of the morale officer stuff, though, especially when he manages to get Wedge or Tycho or Hobbie out of a funk.

2) Who they want to please the most. -- Oh, Wedge, forever. That causes some tension in his friendship with Hobbie every so often, because Wes will always put Wedge first. It’s awkward when your wingman knows he’s your second priority. *hugs them* That’s like, the motivating factor of at least two different unwritten/unpublished stories I’m involved with right now, probably more.

3) Who depends on them. -- More people than think they do. The Rogues, the Wraiths, probably most of the Rebellion back in the day. Wes downplays just how much of the emotional grunt work he does on keeping the rest of these idiots functional, as well as how much of the paperwork load he carries. Wedge and Hobbie both know they depend on him, that’s the people who really matter.

4) What they would do if they had one month to live. -- This is an interesting one, because Wes already lives on the basic principle of “eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may die”. If he knew for a fact that he *wasn’t* going to die for a whole month... well, it depends. If he was invulnerable for that month, like absolutely unable to die ahead of time, he’d definitely go full Hamster Princess and like jump off cliffs and things. If it was just “you have a terminal illness”, I don’t think anything much would change, but he would get even more affectionate with his friends and also try to set things up so that they wouldn’t be absolutely lost without him, because he does do so much support work for them. If it was some kind of “I’m a time traveler from the future, you die in thirty days, this is absolutely necessary to preserve the timeline / save your friends from some horrible catastrophe, but we know you didn’t die till then”, and somehow telling him that doesn’t Schrodinger the timeline already (which it would)... um. This sentence got more complicated than I anticipated.

If he knew he was like fated to die in thirty days but not until then, but was not protected by a Hamster Princess curse spell thing, I’m not sure. What there should be is major fiddling with causality to find a timeline where he can save them without dying, but that requires roping people like Wedge and Luke into the process, and he wouldn’t. :-( Stupid idiot doesn’t think he’s worth saving. So he’d keep quiet, try to set things up to help his friends without letting them know that anything was wrong. They’d start to realize something was fishy, because they know him too damn well, and depending how angsty you wanted to get, it could wind up in a stable time loop self-fulfilling prophecy thing where he only has to die to save them because they figured out something was fishy or got in trouble trying to help him or something. The trouble with that time loop is that there’s no kriffing reason for the time-traveler to come back and tell him he’s going to die or has to die, if he did die, if things are working. *headshake* Time travel is hard.

5) A cherished personal belonging. -- Lieutenant Kettch, obviously. Yub yub, Commander.

6) Something they lost, but would love to have back -- Hmm. There’s not really much of anything for this in canon, which means I have to make something up. *ponders* Nothing occurs to me at the moment. That’s a story that somebody could write but it’d have to be the right thing (or the right person/friendship/whatever) and I don’t have one here.

7) This character’s favorite character -- Favorite character in what? GFFA media? Earthside media? Favorite person in their own source canon? I think Wes would really appreciate Jack O’Neill, although I’m not sure how Stargate SG-1 would come across in a galaxy where most planets have high levels of civilization, since it’s portraying a galaxy where most planets are pretty backward and only a few kind of patronizing alien races have anything like GFFA levels of technology. Like it’s a very different worldview. It plays specifically to Earth culture in ways that might make it very strange to a non-Earther.

8) What kind of car they would drive. -- Some kind of classic muscle car or hot-rod, probably. Tycho likes speed, Wes is all about power. “I mean a real tractor beam.”

9) What calms them when they are upset. -- Wes really, really needs to have the rest of the Fab Four around him, which is why Distna is such a renewable resource. ^_^ When he’s alone and trying to handle his own emotional shit, he likes to play brainless datapad games (that’s canon, he was playing one to keep from stressing out while he and Hobbie waited at Iella’s for Wedge and Tycho during Starfighters of Adumar) and snuggle Kettch. I also write him being fairly stimmy overall, liking certain textures and repetitive sounds and fidget toys, but that’s just me, it doesn’t have much actual basis in canon, only his general liking for swishy capes and blastswords and shit like that.

10) How they deal with pain. -- Emotional pain, he sits on it and ignores it forever. ;P Physically, he’s pretty tough, but he doesn’t do the kind of teeth-gritting silent-suffering thing I associate with like grungy alpha male types. He’ll hide that he’s injured if he needs to, if letting the others know would distract from an important or time-sensitive mission, but... like, I’m thinking of a bit in the comics, and comics characterization is always subject to being taken with more than a grain of salt, but the bit where Tycho is setting Wes’s broken leg, and Wes is making Noises and Tycho is being like “c’mon Wes you’re tougher than that”. Like Wes is fundamentally not a quiet guy, and he doesn’t have the macho wiring that makes not showing pain a matter of pride. He’ll scream if he wants to. (This holds true whether he’s injured, having sex, having fun, or just making noise for the hell of it. ^_^ At least one of my planned Kinktober pieces revolves partly around the fact that I always write Wes as being really vocal/noisy in bed.)

11) This character’s favorite piece or pieces of clothing. -- The Adumar flatscreen cape, for sure. Wedge may have managed to airlock it on the way home, since it doesn’t show up in other pieces of Legends media, but he likes that cape a lot. It’s so flashy and tacky and amazing. :D

12) How they sleep. -- This one I’ve put a lot of thought into for cuddlefic purposes. His favorite way to sleep is at the bottom of a squadron cuddle pile, being squished under people he loves, like a living weighted blanket. (Which also ties into me writing him sort of autistic/ADHD-coded, but whatevs.) He tends to sprawl all over the place, unless he’s in a bad enough emotional place that he starts going fetal position. Wes is not a person who’s ever internalized any kind of “don’t take up space” message. (Damn, always-a-girl Wes would be an interesting fucking character to write. I’m calling Not It, because that would interact with my brain issues in ways I don’t want right now, but man.)

13) What kind of parent they would be. -- I’m not going to answer this one directly, because parenthood and parenting hits a lot of my buttons in very bad ways. But turning it around to “how are they with kids”, Uncle Wes is definitely Syal and Myri’s favorite when they’re little. They can climb on him like a jungle gym, he tells the best stories, he treats them with this conspiratorial respect that makes them feel like they can conquer the world, he is the best weird uncle altogether. The very saddest thing about the Nonspecific Excuse ‘verse is that Syal and Myri missed out on that. (I have Opinions, possibly. ^_^ Seriously, though. Wedge is a good dad, and Iella is wonderful, but I strongly doubt that Myri especially would have turned out like she did without Wes’s influence.)

14) How they did in school -- This is like twenty percent canon and eighty percent headcanon. We know that Wes is good at math / statistics-type stuff and XO paperwork. He’s a lot smarter than he acts most of the time. In my own head, I actually give him the kind of memory I’ve got, photographic or eidetic or whatever we’re calling it now, except it works on numbers and people’s faces as well as just words -- so, for example, Adumar-era Wes can remember every one of the nurses in the Yavin IV medbay by name, knows which one of them was pregnant but not showing yet (and how the kid is doing now, and probably sends it birthday presents), knows most of their birthdays, doesn’t have a comprehensive knowledge of which ones have died since but knows some of them.

This doesn’t have a lot of support in canon, but it does have a little: Wes gives Wedge that little dossier on Ejector Darpen, and I strongly suspect he could have given the same level of brief background and analysis on any of the other surviving Yellow Aces. (Which is a royal fuckton of responsibility to have, and possibly one reason he’s a little cautious about spreading gossip around, beyond funny stories everyone remembers. Do you know what kind of trouble you can cause if you remember every unflattering thing anyone has ever said about anyone else in your presence? It’s a lot. A lot a lot a lot. I was not a fun friend to have as a teenager.)

So, um, specifically about how he did in school, there are two ways I could go: straight-A student or deliberate slacker. I mean, either way he’s the perpetually goofing-around class clown, I’m just not sure whether he’s also the teacher’s pet / kid who always knows the answers. I think I’d lean toward saying he was, though, because of the little “shill in the audience” bit he does with Wedge that one time -- that has very much the flavor to me of a kid who always made it a goal during the first week of class to get the teacher to go “Not you, I know you know it” and call on someone else, cause that’s me. ^_^

15) What cologne or perfume they would use -- I don’t honestly have enough of a sense of smell to answer this question. Personally I like sandalwood, but that’s Isard’s perfume (well, “leatherwood”), so even though Wes might independently wind up using it, I feel weird going with it. It’s like the Only One Steve rule. ;-) But Wes has a pretty vivid sense of smell -- I noticed when I was going over the “nice rear, Lieutenant” prank for something else, the descriptions of both the Ewok food and the cleaning fluid are strongly scent-oriented -- so either he’d wear something strong-smelling that he enjoyed, or something very subtle so it wouldn’t bother him, or just not wear scented stuff if it does bother him.

(God, the sheer levels of detail I get out of these books. Sometimes I feel like I’m reading way too much into these tiny little details, but it’s fun. And way more harmless than overanalyzing the Bible and Catholic religious doctrine in order to figure out The One Right Way To Act, which is what I used to do with these skills. ;S)

16) Their sexuality -- Oh, pan as hell. I personally write him as pansexual, aromantic, usually polyamorous, and pretty solidly cisgender, but that’s me. I’ve seen him written lots of different ways, but he very much appreciates pretty people of all genders, whatever exact orientation one goes with. (I don’t think I’ve ever seen him written gendervariant, but that would definitely be a possibility. Maybe I’ll come up with a story for that at some point, maybe not. And @virusq had a great suggestion for a bi/panromantic asexual Wes who flirts with everybody and is really into cuddling and pillow-talk but not sex, I don’t think anyone’s written that one yet either. *shoves it into the big pile of prompts in the middle of the table that is this fandom*)

( @tigerkat24 part of me keeps wanting to write an ace!Wes ‘verse where he’s basically James, but part of me wants to actually write those stories with James and Mort instead of Wes and Hobbie, and jesus fuck why do I have to have multiple pairings with the same dynamic. Why. :P I still don’t have an actual arc for Mort since I stopped wanting to write his original arc, either.)

(I keep going back and forth on whether to put my Mort/James stories from Rainbowfic onto AO3. Like they’re “original fiction written in a fannish context” for sure, but they’re also kind of scattershot and rather ancient, and... blergh. idk. Writing is hard.)

17) What they’d sing at karaoke -- This is again difficult because GFFA media. Earthside AU Wes, though, I’m definitely thinking the kind of bouncy catchy... do they call it “bubblegum pop”? Songs like “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”, “All the Single Ladies”, those very girly-coded danceable songs, just belting them out without a hint of irony, dancing and shaking his butt and having a grand old time. (You know Wes has at least acceptable dance moves. ^_^) One of the things I really especially enjoy about Wes is that he doesn’t have the toxic masculinity shit that a lot of flirtatious male characters are coded with. He would definitely be a drag queen in any context where that was an option, you know? It’s nice to have a character I read as cis male but who doesn’t have any gender panic about enjoying the girly shit. There aren’t enough of those.

18) Special talents they have -- Well. There’s the killing people. ;P I mean, that really is the main one. He doesn’t have much in the way of non-military life skills, and he knows it. He mostly doesn’t get super angsty about it, because he mostly doesn’t get super angsty about anything, but... y’know, even when it’s just a sentence or two, I really like those little bits where a writer comments on it, that he’s a soldier and he’s not really... prepared to be anything except a soldier. Peacetime would be so, so hard for him to adjust to, and I don’t quite have a solid story idea for that but I really want somebody to tackle it someday, whether it’s me or somebody else.

19) When they feel safest -- Underneath a cuddle pile of all his friends, definitely. If he knows they’re safe, then he’s safe. You know? They have each other’s backs. He’s not really functional as a single person, he’s part of a unit. It’s not super healthy, but god I miss it :P

20) Household chore they hate the most -- Hmm. See, this one requires figuring out what chores Rebel/NR pilots even do, other than KP duty. (I feel like having Wes constantly on KP is kind of cliched; the only person we actually see get KP in the books is Face. So I like to try and come up with other shit. But there’s not a lot of chores that pilots actually do. They have laundry droids and shit for most of it.)

Earthside modern AU, though... hmm. The thing is, I’ve got chores I love and hate, but those are formed by my specific childhood history, which is deeply complicated. Wes specifically... I’m not sure we have enough data. Does he enjoy cooking? Does he have sensory issues? Does he find laundry boring? (I always liked laundry because the laundry room was in the basement away from all the yelling. Wes probably prefers chores that can be done in the middle of a bunch of people, because they’re not yelling at him. ;P Any discussion of household chores really runs into my issues, I guess.)

He probably doesn’t enjoy mopping or scrubbing things down, because we know he dislikes the scent of space Lysol, it’s too strong and sharp. See, if I talk long enough I can always come up with something I can tie back to canon. ^_^

21) Their fondest childhood memory -- Hmm. That’s a difficult one. We really have no data on Wes’s childhood, other than that Taanab is an agri-world and therefore he’s probably by some definition a farmboy. The rest is all speculation. Personally, when I need him to have a family, I borrow the one @irenkaferalkitty invented, because they’re adorable and ridiculous and I love them. So, basic US-Midwest-ish farming setting, working-class family, six kids, Wes is the oldest. (His dad is an autistic ex-Jedi and his mom is amazeballs. She’s like if Wes had never gone into the military. I love her.) But I still don’t have much specific in the way of childhood memories.

22) How they spend their money. -- Well, with the NR providing clothes and housing and all those basic necessities, I figure Wes basically just buys kids’ toys and lets the rest of his money sit. (Hobbie, who comes from a banking world, is absolutely horrified by Wes’s complete lack of financial acumen and summarily invests most of his money for him. So by the time he retires the first time, after the peace treaty with the Empire in 19 ABY, he’s... maybe not necessarily rich, but definitely well-off. He can afford to travel a bit, buy a farm on Taanab, that sort of thing. I’m seeing a vintage Y-wing on blocks in the yard, because I’m from Indiana and everybody has a hot rod and/or a couple of hangar queens up on blocks. ... @shadesofmauve, you have Corrupted me, look at all this space slang in my writing. ^_^) I have one story just about finished and waiting for a potential Kinktober, where Wes and Hobbie’s farm has a custom-built swimming pool for Hobbie, with a hot tub for both of them and a waterslide for Wes. I mean, the waterslide doesn’t come into the story, but it’s there. XD

23) What kind of alcohol they drink -- I feel like I answered this before at some point. @camshaft22 and I have some pretty detailed headcanons about Wes and Hobbie and alcohol, because we needed them for Afterimage. So in canon, pretty much everyone drinks one of a few things: lum, lomin-ale, Elba beer, Whyren’s Reserve (which is usually a high-class Corellian brandy but depending on the author can morph into a whiskey, become lower-class, etc). We know Wes likes Whyren’s, because Wedge gives him a shot glass of it as a sort of apology after the “nice rear, Lieutenant” prank. It’s described as having a “rich, smoky flavor”, so I figure in general he’d like whisky-type drinks with that kind of peaty or smoky flavor to them. (Coincidentally, whisky is basically the only booze I don’t find undrinkably disgusting. There’s supposedly a gene that makes vodka and some other drinks taste horrible; I’ve definitely got something going on on that front, because even the tiniest sip of vodka causes me to splutter and make horrible faces. It’s not the higher proof, that just tastes more like Listerine, it’s something else I can’t describe. Maybe it’s bitterness, Google’s bringing up articles about a supertasting bitterness gene.)

Um. That paragraph got away from me a little. Basically, Wes likes whisky and brandy best, but will happily drink pretty much anything.

24) What they wish they could change about themselves -- Now there’s a question. Wes seems mostly pretty happy with himself. There are things in his history he’d like to change, but as far as who he is, physically and mentally and emotionally, he’s pretty chill with himself.

25) What other people wish they could change about them -- Hah. Depends whom you ask. His close friends wouldn’t change a damn thing. Some other people wish he’d just stop being Wes altogether. It’s a rich tapestry. ^_^ There are a lot of people who fall somewhere in the middle, like if he’d just be a little more serious or a little less obnoxious or at least go be himself somewhere else, but most of those are post-Endor. The remaining pre-Endor Rebels in the service, especially the ones who remember Hoth and Yavin, appreciate Wes exactly as he is, because when you’re stuck on a goddamn iceball for a year, a big huggy guy made of warms who always has a joke or a prank or a game idea or a magic trick to cheer you up and break the monotony is priceless.

(In universes where Wes disappears long-term and is presumed to have committed suicide at some point after Distna -- Nonspecific Excuse is one, there’s another one I might do something with someday when I’m stable -- I always kind of think about the general reaction among Rebellion survivors who maybe hadn’t seen him since Hoth. I imagine it’s like hearing Robin Williams killed himself, like there’s that shock of... *tries to word* You know. It feels wrong, that somebody they remember as this perpetually sunshiny presence in a long dark endless winter, somebody who brought so much joy and love of life to everyone around him, could get stuck in such a dark place. That he helped them and there was nobody to help him when he needed it. Like, I mean, depression is a terminal illness, we all know that, but -- like, if he’d died in combat, that’s one thing, but... *words* Like, if he died in combat, that’s sad, but he was still him. For that joy to go out first and cause his death, that hurts more, in a different way. Am I making any sense?)

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Im Enthusiastic But You Wouldnt Know It

man sometimes when the concept of ppl like succeeding w some Passion of theirs on whatever scale...im like man im depressed what with being depressed and not even always enjoying enjoying things. i mean like i cant even imagine being in a line of work where its what you want to do. not like the Achieving Your Dreams career is the most common experience. i dont even have dreams which is what makes it so difficult to think of working towards ur aspirations and reaching it, but tbh...that also reminds me how we shouldnt have to think of the professional career as the only way for someone to pursue fulfillment or achievement or whatever. the non-passion lines of work should be tolerable and the workday shouldnt consume ppls entire lives so that they cant have a meaningful existence outside of it w other pursuits.......

anyways the point is im kind of an enthusiastic person who likes to do things and really get into a project when its something i’m into....it is just precious few times i remember that kind of thing coming up at all. and if it’ll ever be relevant again i cant even guess how

its like how socially i actually can really love to be with a group of ppl or in noisy busy shit like concerts or other similar events...i can actually be really talkative...i like to talk and laugh and do fun shit w ppl and all but it doesnt come up much bc ive never had a large friend group and the ones i do tend to be rly scattered and its hard for me to see ppl in person ever, much less regularly. in my head im like yeah a friend group where u can all just sit around some porch or parking lot and talk about whatever and everyone likes each other...but thats never been the reality for me so im just making it up, good luck to me with that little project

anyways its kind of funny that im a fairly passionate and energetic and even in some ways outgoing person when life didn’t really allow for even me to see that for ages and ages and rn because of the fact that i’d like to die and am around nobody and such, like its not like i talk ever and i dont have it in me to do much of anything

like, it sucks i dont ever get to use the drive i can have for things b/c i know it can be fun. and frankly since the friendship ring thing isnt very realistic i also really just like to go to shit on my own and mingle w strangers and just do my own thing b/c i feel more able to be myself like that anyways, usually. just showing up and doing whatever. anyhow what im saying is i know what it feels like to enjoy the fact im enthusiastic about things and way more often than not, including now, i dont get to use that

idk what i’d be all that enthusiastic being involved in now. idk. but itd be nice if i felt like i had the chance to find out. and even tho its absurd to decide ppl should know Their Dreams and Passions like by the time theyre in high school, itdve been nice to feel like i could explore my interests and be myself freely and safely, like, ever back in those earlier times. i DID draw back then, which is what gave me a leg up to be drawing more later, but even now drawing itself isnt really my interest or anything i have any goals around

its annoying bc theres no reason then or now for me not to be able to be the way i enjoy being or enjoy things in general, such as existing....like it makes me angry actually that theres something so unnecessary as me having to have all these days i dont want to be alive or continue being alive, and how unnecessary it was all the years i couldnt Be Myself or try things freely or figure out what i liked or wanted to do

and like i also know i can do shit if im in a situation where i actually can. not like thats the only reason i should be able to not be miserable, is if i think it could be useful enough for other people. and like i dont think im special, its shit coz im absolutely not and theres a crap ton of ppl who also dont have a Personal Passion element in their lives b/c its all a matter of situation and opportunity and resources and all that stuff...it sucks i guess the end

[faustinalegaspimyhistory-blog]

The Try This, Get That Guide On Gta 5 Online Money Hack

How To Hack Gta 5 Online Pc

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As with the other retrospective Trophy patches for PS3 video games, the GTA IV update is regretfully not retroactive, so you will need to play via the video game once again to open them. Grand Theft Auto 5 is expected to sell an astonishing 18 million devices in its initial year, according to financial solutions firm The Cowen Group. Activision has verified that they are dealing with Sony to attempt and also deal with any problems, commenting: "We are presently experiencing network connection problems with Activision titles for gamers on PlayStation Network.

[olivereliott]

KM22: Every great custom Guzzi, distilled into one

If there was ever a blueprint for the ultimate Moto Guzzi cafe racer, this is it. Kaffeemaschine’s latest build has the perfect stance, the perfect tank, and that iconic engine—blacked out, which of course draws even more attention to it.

Builder Axel Budde has been tantalizing us with his Le Mans-based customs for seven years now, and we never tire of them. There always seems to be a little bit extra or a little bit different in each build, but this machine, KM22, tops the lot.

“This bike was a ‘free’ project,” says Axel, who usually takes commissions. “I wanted to build in a more modern style, but still with a 70s/80s race bike appeal.”

KM22 is, to put it bluntly, a mongrel. But instead of being a mish-mash of parts, it’s a remarkably coherent whole. The starting point was the frame, which Axel describes as a “cleaned and modified” 850T unit from 1974.

But those mods are not your usual detabbing and grinder work: he’s worked the engine breather into the frame tubes with a labyrinthine system of welds, to cope with the high revs of the hot-rodded V-twin. This replaces the usual Moto Guzzi breather box that sits between the cylinders, separating the oil from the air.

The engine, transmission and rear drive are from a Le Mans Mk IV. Axel has gas-flowed the heads, upgraded the capacity with 1100 cc cylinders and pistons, and raised the compression ratio with twin spark heads.

He’s also fitted Carillo rods, a race cam and lighter valves, and had the crank balanced dynamically. The carburetors are 40mm Dell’Ortos, jetted with the help of a Lambda instrument. It’s an engine with serious punch, driving through a lightened and balanced clutch/flywheel setup.

This sort of performance requires tight suspension, so Axel has installed fully adjustable forks from a Yamaha R6. “It was a crazy effort to adapt this fork,” he admits. He’s used modified BMW triple trees, and a custom steering head and front axle—as well as shortening the tubes and finding a way to make the classic Brembo calipers fit.

The back end was simpler: here we have Wilbers shocks, which Axel took apart so he could change the finishing.

Unusually, the initial inspiration for this Guzzi came from the wheels. “I had some Le Mans Mk V rims lying around, and it all started with them,” says Axel. “They are beautiful wheels, with dimensions to fit modern tires, but the well of the rim has a massive profile. And all the filigree architecture is hidden by the brake discs.”

So Axel milled down the rims to reduce their profiles, and modified the floating discs. (“They were pretty ugly originally.”) They now look much lighter, and accommodate a smaller rear brake caliper.

The bodywork looks old school, but it’s actually carbon fiber. Axel shaped a new seat, and tail unit, which butts up perfectly to the Magni-style tank and hosts an LED rear light. Leading the way is a Le Mans 1 style fairing, but with a smaller headlight than usual.

The stainless exhaust is a Kaffeemaschine part, and most of the regular Moto Guzzi alloy hardware has been galvanized black. Even the tiniest stainless steel parts have been glazed or chromed black and Axel has cleaned up all the screws and fasteners on his lathe. It’s a truly obsessive attention to detail.

Hidden from sight is a new and very minimal wiring loom, using a modern generator and lithium-ion battery, an electronic ignition, Kellermann indicators and a Motogadget instrument with a customized dial.

What is very visible is the stunning paint. Porsche fans will recognize it as Lava Orange, a delectable shade most commonly found on GT3 RS models and as an option on recent Boxsters. It’s not your typical low-key custom Guzzi shade, but it’s sharp and effective.

KM22 tips the weighbridge at just 177 kilos (390 pounds), and has recorded a very solid 97 horsepower on the dyno. Which makes it a lot of fun on both the road and track. In his previous life Axel was a stunt driver, and these days, he still gets his kicks from doing laps.

“I wanted the bike to fulfill two roles,” he says. “To be a brilliant performer on the street, and a ‘vintage race bike’ for the track. It even has a retractable number plate bracket, which can be mounted underneath the seat.”

It sounds like the perfect Guzzi to us, and a blueprint for building a high-performance custom. There’s only one downside, though: Axel’s keeping this one for himself, so it’s not for sale.

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[drowninginstuff]

Dear Love

20/01/2014

My favorite songs now make my head feel fuzzy and my heart feel heavy. You could've left me something to enjoy.

7/01/2013

I can't focus on reading anything anymore. Remember how you used to complain about my nose always being buried in a book, well you can rest easy now. I haven't read anything in a while.

24/02/2013

Caramel lattes taste stale now. Maybe you were right, maybe I was always just over glorifying it.

10/03/2013

I'm starting to see the appeal in getting take out. Cooking isn't fun anymore, not when....

30/03/2013

Alcohol tastes disgusting, smoking feels like death. Why would anyone indulge in either of these! Why on earth couldn't you stop?

13/04/2013

I'm walking a lot these days, not to anywhere in particular. Just walking.

27/04/2013

Congratulate me. I got a promotion.

4/05/2013

My boss is forcing a two day leave on me. Apparently pulling all nighters almost 5 days in a 6 day week for three weeks isn't healthy. What does he know?

22/05/2013

Holidays suck. I don't ever want another one.

5/06/2013

I wish I could paint like you. Maybe then I'd get rid of these build up emotions and frustrations.

20/06/2013

I just heard that drinking destroys your vocal chords. Is that why you wouldn't sing to me any more.

7/07/2013

You never did teach me to salsa.

27/07/2013

Happy Birthday.

13/08/2013

Power naps are not really doing their job right. Maybe it's just my lack of rhythm.

8/09/2013

The leaves are your favorite colors. Guess it's fall.

22/09/2013

Was the park always this big? I've never noticed.

6/10/2013

Winter's coming.

20/10/2013

Black forest mocha is back on the menu. You hated it.

9/11/2013

It's freezing cold. I can't sleep. I miss....

24/11/2013

My last project before Christmas is done. I have a lot of free time.

15/12/2013

It's Christmas next week. I realized I don't have too many people to shop for.

29/12/2013

Merry Christmas P.S. Even fewer people shop for me.

5/01/2014

Happy New Year. I went to the office party this time around.

19/01/2014

The first few weeks of this new year was the same as before. Nothing unpredictable.

Bored eyes flicked across the room to the wall clock at the corner, silently urging it move faster. Counting down the seconds, she almost jumped for joy when the clock struck 12:30 signaling the beginning of lunch break. She walked out of her cubicle and quickly made her way out the door before anyone could stop and ask to accompany her. Her mad dash to the cafe was however interrupted by a call from the receptionist desk, "You have a birthday gift. Come see it."

Confused, she made her way to the receptionist desk. A few feet from her destination she stopped dead in her tracks, eyes wide, she took in the sight before her. A rather large wheat brown teddy bear sat on top the desk. It had large glassy black eyes and a blue bow around it's neck. Pinned to its paw was a letter. Tentatively she removed it from the bear's 'hold' and began to read,

Love,

i. I've been listening to most of your favorite songs. I don't remember when exactly I began to love them. You look absolutely adorable and breathtaking with your nose buried in a book. The expression of absolute immersion on your face is one of my favorites.

ii. Caramel lattes aren't so bad. The after taste of smoke in my breath used to ruin it for me, it's actually delicious. Take out isn't that great. You get bored of the same repetitive tastes after a while. I loved your cooking, you're a great cook.

iii. I know. I wish I had. You always did like to walk. You just never noticed it. Even when we drove, you'd always look out the window almost longingly.

iv. Congratulations. You earned it. Any sane person would've known it's not healthy. Then again with you common sense sometimes seems to take a back seat when you want to ignore issues.

v. You must be a part of a very small minority. But I do remember a time when you'd egarly wait for a holiday. Guess things really did change... I did try to teach you, but you're way too stiff. You need to not think when you paint. But asking a computer programmer to not think is a bit too cruel.

vi. Maybe. I'm sorry.........

vii. Thank you love. Don't worry, I'm working on fixing that rhythm.

viii. You mean you're favorite season's here. With the way you'd keeping on talking about everything and anything, it's not a wonder that you missed how big that park is.

ix. Game of Thrones reference, really! The only cavity inducingly sweet thing that I like is you when you're sleepy.

x. Weren't you the one would said you love the cold. In fact you wanted to date Jack Frost. Ever the perfectionist. You just have to get everything done earlier than necessary.

xi. Merry Christmas

xii. Happy New Year. Finally, your colleagues must've been shocked. It never is usually....

But wait, I can fix that.

The sound of footsteps woke her up from the momentary day dream she had fallen into. Her eyes traveled up and met the warm chocolate one's in front of her. Maybe it was the loneliness she's been feeling since he left, maybe it was her characteristic impulsiveness or maybe it was the obvious fact she'd missed him. Whatever the reason, as soon as her brain registered that it actually was him and not some phantom her mind conjured up, her body inconceivably moved to hug him.

The feeling of those strong arms around her and the warmth that seeped in from him unlocked a floodgate of repressed emotions and before she could stop herself, a tear escaped, "Why?", the question was softly asked that it was barely audible. But none the less, the sudden stiffening of the arms around her proved that he had heard her. "Not here. I promise I'll explain everything." and with that he led her out the building and into the street, which funnily enough, seemed brighter.

It's funny really, a year's worth of separation, and she still couldn't shake off the habits five year of being together had instilled in her. She smiled absently as she realized that her mind had already started to wander off, blindly trusting him and his sense of direction, sure that he would never let any harm befall her. 'Yet, it was him that gave you the deepest wound you've ever got.' her mind relayed.

They entered a quite cafe, one they used to frequent before, she noticed. He led them to a corner table and patiently ordered their lunch. Soon enough they were left in their own silence. As it got thicker with unspoken words she decided to make the first move, "Dean, Why did you leave me?" She could feel the temperature drop in room that followed her question. The waiter choose that precise moment to arrive with their lunches.

In the moments that followed, he seemed to battle with himself on the best way to word it. Finally, after two thirds of her sandwich was done, he answered. "I never did leave you." Before the protest could leave her mouth he rushed, "At least not the way you think. I told you we needed a break. That we need to pursue our passions and careers, better ourselves. I never intended for our relationship to end, I just wanted both of us to be able to think freely for a while, to discover ourselves and basically just over all improve ourselves before we moved any further. I realize I could've gone about it differently. I never meant to hurt you in any way, even though it seems to have done just that."

She took a moment to process everything he had just said and at long spoke, "So you mean to tell me this was whole a misunderstanding! That I spent every waking hour and dreamless night replaying and wondering what I've done and slowly dying inside, just because you're socially awkward and have trouble expressing yourself!?" She ended the tirade with a pointed look at him to which he replied with an innocent smile, "Basically." She snorted out a laugh at the answer and asked, "Do did you do it? Discover yourself or whatever..."

Suddenly the mirth in his face was replaced with a steely determination and also a bit of smug satisfaction, "I've quit." was his simple reply. She stared at him dumbstruck before chocking out a "What?". He looked her straight in the eye," For the past year, I've been working on over coming my addictions. I've been sober for the past year and I've completely given up smoking. Well almost." he added sheepishly rolling up his sleeves to show the nicotine patch on there.

"Why?" she asked him almost mesmerized by the news. "Because I realized that I want to live. Not just exist. I want to live a full life. Get married, have kids, watch them grow up and finally die after a fulfilled life. I don't want to die alone and lonely, in a ditch somewhere smash drunk and deluded. I want to first live happily and then die peacefully, and I want to do it all with you." The confession shocked her, she didn't understand why, she knew he loved her but this was different it was almost as if he was, "No, I'm not proposing." he added, "I will though, in a few years, when you're ready and I hope you'll say yes, then."

After the confession she stood up, took her bag, paid her half of the bill and walked towards the exit. He followed, confused, "Where are you going?". She turned back and smiled at him, "I'm going to fetch my birthday gift from the receptionist. Then I'll have to ask to take the rest of the day off. Cause you know, it's my birthday and I wanna spend it with my future husband." And with that she kept on walking, not realizing that she had once again stolen his heart.