#the more I feel it the more it feels like a cyst tbh

[trickstarbrave]

I have either a cyst (acne) or a swollen lymph node right in front of my ear (like where ur jaw/cheek meets ur ear. Right in front of it) and idk which. If it gets worse I’ll go to the doctor I guess

[supercantaloupe]

my poor body. she does not work so good

[sadlazzle]

ik the doctor said this pain was muscular but idk im still convinced it’s a cyst .. i mean either way it should go away but like ?? they did say if the pain didn’t go away in 4 to 6 weeks i should go back so. i’ll do that if it persists

[followthebluebell]

Hey, is a Bengal/Savannah Cat cross a bad idea? These seem like a horrible idea to me but admittedly I don't know much about cat breeds

ohhh yeah, it's a bad idea.

so, a lot of this is pretty anecdotal and also based on ONE bad breeder. A few years back, I was very, VERY lucky enough to foster several savannah x bengal crosses. One of the first things that struck me about the cats was how fucked up their reproductive systems are. My vets NEVER had so much trouble spaying cats. Even the youngest cat had a uterus full of cysts, and that's weird as fuck in a 4 month old kitten. Some of it COULD just be piss poor breeding and shit genetics, but I can't help but shake the feeling that maybe crossing three separate species into a single animal could fuck something up reproductively.

Tempe was the worst off. She ended up having a closed pyometra (infected uterus). She was 9 months old or something like that. Her surgery was a success, thankfully, but she required a SECOND one due to an infected stump that managed to hide somewhere. Apparently her uterus and ovaries were just a tangled mess.

Behaviorally, they were all a little off. Again, these were animals that came from a profoundly abusive/neglectful situation so some of it could be blamed on that. I don't want to go into details because it's deeply upsetting. Their former owners were charged and found guilty of animal abuse.

But I want to talk about the cats more.

Here's a cat bed. It's one of those like vaguely croissant shaped beds, with a little hidey hole inside. You can see an extra cat-installed hole. That wasn't an original feature. Tempe had a toy mouse, see, and it made little squeaky sounds. It was UNDER the bed.

She decided the most direct route was to go THROUGH the bed. She made this hole and started pulling out the stuffing in around three minutes.

This wasn't an isolated event. None of them were allowed typical cat toys, because they would be torn apart pretty quickly. They were provided with dog toys instead (even my own Saia is like this).

All of the hybrids tended to just... Go. They never really stopped to think about things. They just went from off to on in an instant. Most had resource guarding issues to work through as well (this isn't an uncommon savannah trait; Saia's missed most of it, unless she's stolen some chicken).

This extended to other animals, tbh. A dog got into the yard once. The cats were all safe in their enclosed catios, but you can imagine that they were all pretty upset. Most of the savannah x bengals were ready to throw down, though. There was just zero hesitation. Tempe once caught a bird through the bars of her catio.

Again, a lot of this could be blamed on really bad genetics, poor socialization background, and a slew of other things. But I can't help but think that maybe, just maybe, mixing three species into one is a Bad Idea.

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

Heyy ive requested a ship paring for outsiders before but i was wondering if you could do one for PJO! Ill paste all the info from my old one plus some new stuff(pink) since it would be PJO universe :)

My name is Claire, im 5’2 and midsized. Im 15 turning 16. I have dirty blonde hair that had highlights n copper lowlights :)im getting it dyed a more strawberry blonde color soon. its a couple inches past my shoulders and its about 2a i would say :) My typical clothes are sporty but im trying to go for a more clean girl/neutral soft girl look more recently. I have blue grey eyes and light freckles on my nose, i wear clear glasses and usually brown mascara!

I enjoy weightlifting, reading, gaming, and sun bathing :) im working as a life guard this summer as i grew up swimming and used to be on a swim team! My friends would describe me as smart, funny, and loud loll, i get very talkative sometimes when im interested! I shut down completely when im upset and i have issues communicating my emotions

Im an ENFJ which is Extrovert, intuitive(creative, more in my head day dreaming) ,feeling (heart over head), and judging(more organized and neat)

I have 3 older brothers who all wrestled, did football, were really jocky so i am used to sibling violence lolll

Ive taken multiple quizzes and tests as well as asked all my friends and they think i would be in Aphrodite’s cabin or Athenas :)

I wrestle, do softball, and im thinking about joining cross country! Although i have asthmaaa

I wouldnt participate in capture rhe flag a lot i currently have a cyst in my knee meniscus that causes a lot of pain (rip) or if i did i would most likely be an archer or something not close combat

Im bisexual with no preference, my type for guys is gentle buff giants and for women is mean buff lesbians haha

I hope i gave you enough info! Your writing is amazing and i love seeing your outsiders skits as well, when i see you posted it makes my day! :)

I’m glad you liked my skit! ♥️♥️♥️

Your PJO ship: Clarisse La Rue luckkkkkkkky

(I think the main reason I shipped you with her above anyone else is I think that your personalities and styles would conflict really well. Like you would be an emotionally stable couple and style wise you both look really good together, her and her masculine army style and you with your more clean girl/soft girl style. I think that you could make her a nicer person and I think she could teach you more about fighting and speaking of which I could totally see talk excersizing/weightlifting/sparring together and being on a similar skill level with different styles of fighting. Tbh I also get sweet enemies to lovers tension between yall. You guys just have a really great mutually beneficial relationship)

[bunnyboy-juice]

cupcake, warm milk, pillow, pastel, soft fur, meow !!

Cupcake - Do you have a comfort food? If so, what is it?

OH YEAH- my comfort food is quite literally kung pao chicken (no green peppers, add broccoli) from the Chinese food place down the street from us. they literally know my wife (tho they think she's me bc i always order) bc i am spoiled (read: they are VERY affordable) and xe will pick it up for me basically whenever im having a bad day and we have takeout money available and it never fails to make me 300% happier until i finish the leftovers

Warm milk - What is something that makes you feel comfortable?

my headphones c: they are over the ear and noise cancelling, i wear them 90% of the time i am not at home, and in general if im having discomfort but idk why I'm usually reaching for those first

Pillow - What are five (or more) things that make you happy?

non-living things/experiences only for this (bc if not my wife, cats, and closest friends take up slots 1-8 easy): the leather cock ring my wife tried buying that fits my wrist better (its really fun to clicky clicky and also is a cute bracelet and also makes me blush knowing what it was supposed to be for), seeing children expressing themselves through their clothing in public (UGH 🥰💞), seeing people with their friends/lovers and being able to tell from the laughter/loving touch that they're in their own little world together, movie nights at home (or at least somewhere i feel safe to unmask), CHICKEN SPAGHETTI THE WAY MY AMMA (mom) MADE IT, basically Any food but esp soup from my mami (grandmother), ummmmmm g-d this list could go for a really long time tbh so I'm gonna cap it but tbh a lot of things make me happy also, its not a very hard feeling to make happen for me

Pastel - What is your favorite color?

😭 g-d okay i had to use a color picker bc i wanted to give a very accurate representation of the orangey yellows and purpley pinks i like so oranges/yellows: dd9220 ffbe67 f2b40b pinks/purples: cfb5d2 ff4fd3 a8548f

Soft fur - How are you feeling right now?

honestly could be better, this morning was weird and now im itchy bc my skin is dry from the cold but im also leaving work rn so my mood will Definitely increase for sure in the next hour once im home

Meow - Share a random fact about yourself, please

ohhhh ummmm let see.....OH I have photos of my uterus in a folder somewhere because when i was 17 i had to have emergency surgery bc of a ruptured cyst and even though all i remember is Immense pain, i was apparently sobbing begging them to take pictures of my insides while they were trying to put me under for the surgery. i did this AGAIN when i was 18 and had to have my appendix removed (again, emergent surgery), and they did give me the photos but i lost those when moving

[mcalhenwrites]

I'm having a rough time, and editing Seasons has been one of my only solaces lately. I've been wanting to work on other stories, but my heart just hasn't been in it. I don't think those side stories for Geckos are getting published in August, either. I don't even have them finished. I might work on them a bit this weekend during the lull. We'll see if I have energy?

About to get TMI and personal, though I don't want to get into some of it. I just know I want to make myself small and unseen and not a problem/burden, bc I sure as hell feel like one. I relate pretty hard to Shannon's character for a reason. :') (Right down to the suicide thoughts and attempts.) Anyway. My health plunged recently. My fibro has been in a real bad flare the past... Week and a half, I think? It has been excruciating at times. I call it my hugs of pain bc it really loves my upper back/right arm (all the way down from neck/shoulder to my fingertips). And I have no idea if I'm menstruating right now (I think I might be) bc I've been bleeding nearly every fucking day since I got an IUD inserted in late June. I've had these almost contraction-like pains but more focused on the right side of my abdomen. That's where I have a cyst that's nearly 3" in size, confirmed by an ultrasound the same day the IUD was put in. I get them frequently, but idk if it's the size of this one or the IUD or a mixture of both, but I'm having a rough time of things. I've called about it and thought the pain had eased up, but it keeps coming back. And yes, I do know what contractions feel like, so don't dare come at me for saying I'm describing something I've never been through. Financially, I just... I am struggling like hell and I'm so sick of it. I'm worn out from all this pain I'm in, but I'm still trying to do things like write (which is falling flat on its butt outside of Seasons), work my weekend job, keep things clean, run errands, and think of merchandise ideas for the tables I sell at. It's all complicated. Oh, I have been playing Wylde Flowers as a distraction too, though that kind of went weird when we had a tornado warning and I had to shut it off??? It was very unexpected, and luckily it didn't hit my area - well the derecho did, but the tornado was huge just very short-lived. Thank goodness. It was down and up again, I think. I thought I might deal with them less in Iowa but now I'm missing Kansas! Speaking of... the worst thing about this entire fucking financial situation is that I can't afford a house so I can get my dog back. My mom sends me frequent photos of him (and her dog too but I don't miss her that much tbh). He's such a good boy and I miss his sweet hugs and stinkiness. :( Yes, I miss him being stinky. Leave me alone. My dog is the best, and now that I work in a place where I see dogs and get to pet a few of them every day, I miss him even more. But he wouldn't adjust to apartment life. He's a pyrenees mix who weighs over 112 lbs right now, and he hates being photographed but will actually let my mom take them now if she says they're for me. ;A; Sweet boy! BEST BOY. God I miss him and he's turning ten in October and I'm afraid he's gonna get old and pass away before I get him back.

[hexjulia]

tw medical again. went for the mri and i'm not dying after all lol. however

they saw not one but 3 cysts and an uterine fibroid. The cysts most likely indicate endometriosis. yikes.

I guess my pain tolerance being what it is i never felt particularly bothered by cramps.

And i never noticed anything else before i suddenly felt something like a pingpong ball in my abdomen that made me panic about the possibility of cancer and get this mri instead of waiting for the regular healthcare system. I'm glad of my impulsive choice though! they often do a laparoscopy before mri here just to look around. And i'd have to wait for that a month or two. I feel like two months of worrying before getting actual surgery with just the result of "huh, well guess there are things going on, now we might need to do a 2nd surgery later" is somewhat of a more stressful experience than a quick, non-invasive procedure that tells me what approximately is going on the very same day. It's not a good outcome but not what i worried about. I'm not dying i'm not even infertile, though if i just let this progress it could harm fertility. But idc that much about that. so i can calm down now which is nice.

So yeah nasty and annoying but i'm relieved. so far not too alarming. i'll probably need surgery eventually, and there will need to be a further look into what exactly is going on. but it's no longer a sort of background wondering if i should plan for death or really dramatic treatments like chemo soon. There might not even be much in the way of cutting involved; they can remove fibroids, at least, with ultrasound now. Really hoping they'll actually do that and not just monitor tbh. I want that pingpong ball out, even if it's not dangerous.

[akirameta84]

Nendou having inert leftover Rot Cysts on him acting as his chin definitely makes sense. ...that and it being so close to his face also works with this one idea I have. Aka, Toritsuka intentionally dampened his pain receptors (so Nendou would know something is attacking him, but won't waste precious seconds cringing in pain but instead being able to do something about it), and through use of anesthesia to get rid of any pain completely, after he noticed some Rot Cysts on his back, unlike the ones on Nendou's face which can potentially damage his jaw if taken off, Toritsuka was able to RIP THE ONES ON HIS BACK OFF WITH HIS BARE HANDS. Sure he could've been more careful at the moment in time, but it gave room to graft on some back plates of armor that can also carry more weapons if Nendou angles them correctly.

And, well, he was just so angry in the moment that after ensuring Nendou couldn't feel any pain or discomfort, he needed to do SOMETHING. And it even gives him easier access to Nendou's genome to rework it! So really, who can blame him for his, violent, methods of getting rid of those Rot Cysts? The Ancients? They LEFT THEM. So really, why should he care about what they think?

...also on a less angsty note Saiki, despite his limited memory, managed to remember Aren, because he's Saiki's creation, when he woke up. Which Aren greatly appreciates because EMOTIONS.

And on a different note, the reason Aren even has a name is two reasons. The logical one (an ID number wouldn't work if he can glitch out whilst saying it, confusing his creation, so a name will lead to less confusion in the long run), and the emotional one (hard not to get attached to the being your creating to act as your savior, and harder still to not grow to care for them when through his Overseers he saw how hard Aren worked to complete the tasks given to him).

aren was at the main communications array at the sky islands when kusuo collasped. he was heading back to the superstructure through the Precipice bridge between kusuo and kuusukes structure...but when he reached the end of kuusukes side, it just ended. it dropped into nothing but collasped ruins. that was a horrifying moment. aren had noticed that his creators overseers weren't following him anymore, and he heard the earth shattering sounds of the superstructures collapse...but seeing it in front of his face hit the hardest

just like SRS and Spearmaster, kusuo never gave his creation the mark of communication, as they used sign language so that their conversations could be two way instead of one way

aren wasn't supposed to be mouthless, unlike SM who was. kusuo just messed up and he regrets it. he wanted aren to be capable of eating through the tethers from his spears so that he could ALWAYS find food, as there would always be at least some creature to feed on, and he didn't even have to stop to eat. but he was also supposed to have a mouth like a normal slugcat. kusuo was badly damaged from lack of water already and hadn't realized the changes to his organisms digestive system to allow for the new way of gaining nutrients had completely deleted the normal one until he was finished, and there was absolutely no way or time to make a new messenger.

post revival and pre rarefaction cell...kusuo probably can't remember much of it. the common spoken language is hard enough to grasp, let alone a secondary one. its a miracle he remembers aren at all, but thankfully he does, and he remembers a decent amount of the local group too. at least kuusuke got fed up with kusuos messenger ignoring him after kusuos collaspse and forced a mark of communication on him, so at least he can understand kusuo again

iterators are partially robotic so i imagine theyre very physically strong tbh, so that makes sense. mily angst and comedy bundled into one there huh

tyty for the ask anon <3 i can never have too many aus haha. this has been a lovely one to add to my collection

[uozlulu]

This week we get to play the worst possible game: Is it ovarian cysts or is it an appendicitis?

The pain is noticeable and a little sharpish but not bad, not constant. It's located in the lower right side of my abdomen where it typically hurts during ovulation except it's a different kind of pain. I have a high tolerance for pain so unless it's like cervix pain or post-cavity fill pain I'm not too bothered tbh (abdominal surgery pain as long as I get to take some ibuprofen isn't terrible to me)

I'm very VERY bloated, but I am on the fourth day of my period and today I've had a lot of clots to pass

Sometimes it hurts to move but that can also happen if it's ovarian pain and I do have PCOS and I think my aunt had hers rupture when she was maybe about my age. Endometriosis also runs into the family so it might be that, though it seems like that pain might be worse than this pain from what I've heard.

As far as I can tell I don't have a fever. I do, however, feel pretty crappy but I think that's the increased pm 2.5 pollution talking

My dad did have to have his appendix out but he was like 30 when that happened, so I don't remember it because I wasn't born yet, but I've heard the stories and the pain sounded worse than this feels

Probably just have to see how it's doing tomorrow. At least this is likely the heaviest day of my period, but I still have about like 4 - 6 days more of period to do depending on what my hormones decide.

[nathank77]

9/24/24

5:53 p.m

My mom is still very sick, she might go to the er tomorrow. I'm still worried about the mass..... hopefully it's cystic.... I know people can get cysts on their ovaries.

I played with reily when I got home. I do love her. I just want a better life for her. One where she has a yard and normal people.

From my perspective, I hate that if I don't find a gf who has a house or rents a home that she might have to come here to this house. I hope if I end up with a single mom, she has her own place and we never have to go here..

I don't want people here or animals. My mother will love the dog or whoever... but it's fucking toxic. It's toxic. Reily may not have eaten bc of anxiety.... worrying abt my mom vomiting. Me not taking her out which changes her schedule and me crying in my room.

And even if I was normal entirely, at least devoid of ocd let's say cause it's way more than background tbh.... I mean my mother is drunk and stumbles around. She yells. She repeats the same thing 4000 times in a minute. She's viciously mean. She's stupid.

And she's super ill. I want to protect reily and any person or animal from this environment bc me and my mother need to be taken care of.

I need to move out to a normal environment and slowly be exposed to normal situations and she needs to get fucking sober.

If it's cancer. I'm going to be a wreck. I can't lose her. I know I be saying stuff and posting whatever I want and people can be like holy shit look he takes photos of his mother on the floor. I'm in fucking disbelief that this is my life and this is a dairy in my nightstand. I know people read it. But I hope no one judges bc it's just therapeutic for me to write here.

I'll be honest in like June 2023 I started writing on tumblr bc I was hoping Elise would read it.... then my mental health started to die and it became therapeutic and the only way to get my feelings out especially when its hard to think clearly bc of the hallucination.

Elise is like non existant atm. I mean I think about her all the time but I have so many other things going on. And I can't make her care about me.

I suppose one day I'll find a girl and maybe one day Elise will show up for me personally.

I have all sorts of feelings about everything and right now ocd is all I think about and worrying about my mother while I also hate her for putting me through this.

I love and hate my mother. I love her more than I hate her but I want to keep her away from everyone so she doesn't damage them.

[isaiah-the-starborn]

tbh I might delete my tdac art. or at least private it or something. im not into the show anymore (not now at least) and it just kinda feels like a cyst that I want to remove as soon as possible. like that ship post I cranked out in like under an hour has 6000 plus notes and i'm. very very conflicted about the entire thing. I've done so many other things that took so much more effort than that post. if I ever get into it again than this post will probably be deleted and im not expecting this to reach anyone im just venting lol. I want to be seen for other things. I don't want that to be what im known for

[dopaminergicaddictions]

I woke up at 2:30. I'm at thr glass place now. I can't wait to have a new Windshield. The astigmatism will disappear. It won't be covered in nicotine anymore. It's going to be wonderful.

I'm here about 30 minutes early. They said it takes anywhere between 1 hour and 1 hour and 30 minutes. My appointment was at 4 and they close at 5 so I wanted to get here early.

I'm thankful for the ability to take the higher dose when my circadian rhythm gets in the way. I still have to consider getting a psychiatrist tbh... cause my doctor won't go up. And I have a feeling Xanax is going to be forever.

I have to reschedule my medical marijuana renewal as I don't see the point in spending 75$ on a renewal I can't use for at least 2 more weeks. I guess you're considered a renewal for 60 days after you expire so that a good thing. I expire tomorrow.

I still have to deal with Mike I canceled for today but Erin will be out next week so I scheduled him for Friday. I'll see Erin Monday, Danielle Tuesday and him Friday. I do have to talk to him about it though.

I'm still hallucinating. Nothing has changed. So I mean I guess my brain is broken forever. I have deemed this my first episode... everytime i hallucinated on the thc pills short term was just hallucinating...

July 28th to July 29th wasn't even 24 hours... it started somewhere between 9-11 pm on the 28th and ended on the 29th somewhere between 2-5 p.m. it wasn't even a full 24 hours. The only good new is usually people can recover from their first episode psychosis. I don't thinkna stretch of under 24 hours is considered psychosis.

I am losing hope that it will stop.. I only have roughly 14 more days.... my Dr recommended holistic medicine... not covered by insurance as I won't consider antipsychotics... Erin wants me to talk to a herbal healer... like I can afford any of this. So yea. I'm starting to looking up how to lower dopamine in the brain naturally... and it's kinda a let down... exercise! I can't even walk back and forth to my car without developing a rash and a cysts........ no nicotine... yes right.... let's just cope with hallucinating by doing meth then right? Cause I need a vice... no sugar... yes right.. let's spend all my money on things without sugar and not drink or eat anything I enjoy.... I don't have as much sugar as you'd think.. it's really just in my juice ans red bull.

I guess it's just going to have to be natural. I have control over my mental images now almost entirely... so I mean there is that. They aren't sexual even though psychosis really tries to male me see the creature with hair and see genitals. It doesn't really work anymore cause I can change it. I know mental images get really effected from psychosis.

I'm worried that even though I know it's psychosis, that my brain can't heal naturally. Everyone needs to do drugs....like I've joined all these groups asking if anyone healed from it naturally and no one responds... it's like everyone hears the voice ot goes catatonic and just takes drugs. If I didn't have the knowledge i do I would have probably taken drugs but I have too much knowledge of them. In the group I was reading some people posts and the a lot of people were talking about latuda... I read about it. It's fucked. The side effects and all that. It really will ruin a person.

So this is like day 117 or something. Idk I'd my brain will ever re-regulate.... all I know is supposedly you can heal from psychosis.

I keep seeing this mental images of a pink brain with blackened connections. 2 weeks ago the blackened wires were like the size of a soda can bottom just square shaped. Today it's like the size of a red bull can but square shaped. I feel like my brain is trying to tell me it's getting more Nirmal... idk. I kinda expect to be like this for life.

[spectres-fulcrum]

I think... I'm starting to feel good again. It's been a very odd couple months tbh.

I never told you guys. I quit my job last month. I got sick of being scared of managers and they were disrespecting me and holding shit over my head and every mistake I made was... and I was my work best friend's(NOT my best friend who left last summer, but a girl I talked through a night where she almost attempted suicide when they were so careless with her) sounding board for how they mistreated her(Including not letting her leave when she bled through her pants multiple times, ended up being a ruptured cyst) and it just... It was Bad. Was so toxic. I had hit 100 breaking points I talked myself down from but finally I was like I am done being scared.

The next day my dad had a heart attack. Christmas Eve. He's fine now. A lot of their tips for him he was already doing it was just his genetics and smoking. Just an incredibly rough week he was in the hospital. Quite frankly, I barely remember the days after Christmas-it was a week of shock. Also my sister has MS now. Her bestie might have breast cancer. My work bestie might have MS too. It's been a rough couple months.

January has been mostly letting the emotional damage of November and December just settle. Cause there's been a lot of it. Also winter and Covid has been peaking so I've been hiding in my house. But for the first time I was in the mood to shower on my normal schedule and my dad took me to a department store to return a present and a grocery store and we had a nice time.

I kept giggling at how outraged he was that sports branded merch is so expensive. Also I got my mom an air fryer for Christmas and she and I have been loving it. Definitely recommend it.

My goal for this year is to put me first. I put so much energy into caring(Or more so: Worrying about) for my loved ones that it leaves me on low power. And I love them I just worrying too much tbh.

Idk what this is just. Figured I'd update you all eventually.

[g-kat423]

Stress echocardiogram was normal other than minor valve leaking which I was told wasn’t a problem for now(could be in the future, all bodies break down, we all die of something). Ruling out structural issues it’s looking more and more like pots, but I have to be referred out to a place that does tilt table testing since there’s no place locally. All I was able to get was the poor man’s ttt at my dr’s office and then they could see how much my heart rate jumped at the cardiologist’s on the ekg when I stood vs lying down and I got over my target heart rate on the treadmill in under 10 minutes. The worst part of the test was my leg pain tbh rather than any feelings in my chest or shortness of breath. All I know about my leg is a I have a bakers cyst but I think I tore something or have arthritis but I won’t know until I see the orthopedic specialist and then of course my arm still having issues which also need to be addressed by the ortho. I just feel like my body is breaking down and getting ready to die. I’d rather go quickly than this slow torture.

[alo-piss-trancy]

Screw it I'm going to rant with more details in case any of y'all have advice idk.

Ok so I have been on birth control pills for almost a decade now (and for quite a while on the ones you take literally year round, no sugar pills, no periods ever). The BC did dim my libido/strength/length of orgasms some, but my natural state was INSANELY horny so it wasn't that big a deal. Like it wasn't amazing but still enjoyable enough as long as I wasn't impatient, and I could live with it compared to being horrifically ill/passing out from blood loss/having to go to the ER for cysts (lost one ovary and have possible bladder damage from that actually). The other methods like IUDs or the arm thing aren't an option I'm very comfortable pursuing given the costs, risks, personal accounts I've heard. So I pretty much have to stay on BC pills until I can hopefully get my hysterectomy in a few more years and be Free.

This was fine until a few years ago when chronic illness, despression and anxiety completely destroyed me. Some of you probably remember my complaints about that, it was hell. Worst period of my life hands down. I finally got through it last year, managed to find meds that worked for most of the physical stuff, which helped me finally claw out of the worst of the mental pit. Now back at my baseline levels of anxiety/possible depression, my doc put me on Lexapro and I'm finally a somewhat functional person for the first time ever. I knew I've had GAD from early childhood but it was still insane finding out how much of my crippling paralysis and breakdowns just... went away. Like holy shit this is what most ppl feel like???

I got insanely lucky on lexapro tbh, I don't think I've had any side effects at all actually. Aside from what was left of my sex drive and my ability to orgasm being completely destroyed. The most I can get is a literal split second ruined orgasm that immediately fizzles. Which definitely is not worth the effort and the physical comedown afterwards (bc I'm still not 100% back in shape after 5 years of basically starving and being bedridden, blood pressure issues, etc.)

I honestly don't know if it's worth talking to the gyno about though tbh? Like I know I probably should and mentally it's bugging me because I'm finally in a good mood again and now I can't even enjoy masturbating RIP. I know I deserve a healthy sex life.

But also the logical part of me is saying just suck it up for a few more years until I get that hysto surgery and then hopefully getting off the BC will help bring some of it back? And if not I can see about swapping anxiety meds then. I'm an aromantic childfree NEET who still needs to get my shit together and isn't gonna risk a hoe phase until I 200% can't get pregnant, and also I'm mostly sapphic in a not queer-friendly area, so it's not like I have any good reason to rush to fix it right now. And what could the gyno really do about it rn anyway?

I really don't wanna risk switching off the lexapro since I get a good deal on it rn with my insurance I believe and I responded so well to it. I'm terrified of throwing that progress away if something else would leave me with physical symptoms again or be too expensive. And it feels kind of dumb to tell all this to my gyno like, literally my only problem is I can't get myself off. It affects no one else, and it only will bother me if I let it bother me instead of just focusing on other facets of my life.

Idk. Have any of you dealt with similar? Any tips that helped besides changing meds? I also 100% cannot do weed/gummies, etc.

There are two wolves inside of me. The one who knows I will not die from lack of orgasms and tells me to just suck it up, and the one who is going to actually go insane because my gyno appointment I was supposed to have months ago has been rescheduled three times already and April is still SO FAR AWAY