#the month of march has been the month of sinus infection

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer park Steve AU pt 56

part 1 | part 55 | ao3

March

"Steve, honey," Claudia calls from the living room, where he can hear her shuffling around to get her things ready for work — the rustle of a jacket, the clink of keys against her thermos. "Do you need anything before you go?"

"I'm fine, Ma!" Steve answers.

And he is. He is fine. It’s been three weeks, and Steve is fine! He has a date tonight with a girl he doesn’t care about, and he's gonna cheer on Lucas at the championship game, and the other day at work he got a fifty cent per hour raise. And sure, his nightmares are worse than ever and his head aches all the time, and he’s had some weirdly persistent sinus infection or some shit going on, but he only teared up once this week while jerking off to thoughts of Eddie, so.

All in all, not bad.

He shoves a plain bagel in his mouth and rushes to leave the house; passes Claudia on the way out, who's now rapping her knuckles impatiently against Dustin’s door and asking, “Dusty, what’s going on in there? You’re gonna be late!" to which Dustin replies with a panicked shriek: “DON’T COME IN, I’M NAKED!”

Jesus Christ. "Deafen my other ear, why don't you?" Steve mutters under his breath.

He throws Ma a parting wave and heads out to pick up Robin so he can take her to school before his shift starts. She looks nicer than usual, and she won’t stop reapplying her mascara, and by the time Object of My Desire starts playing on the radio Steve is practically begging her to just suck it up and end this will-they-won’t-they thing with Vickie because it’s been months of obvious flirting and Robin still won’t make a move.

“I listen to you, and now look at me!” he argues, as if the handful of pointless dates he’s used to distract himself from Eddie are anything to look at. “Boom. Back in business.“

“Mm,” she objects, a little ‘you’re so full of shit’ frown on her face. “Not the same thing.”

Don’t say it, you bitch, don’t even—

“You ask out a girl and she says no…”

Oh, thank fuck. Steve sags in relief and licks the corner of his mouth as he listens to her rant, grateful that she’s just working the small town homophobia angle and very graciously not pointing out how half-hearted and sad his attempts to move on with his life have been. It’s a small mercy he repays by rambling about girls and boobies and girls who definitely like boobies until she scowls so hard at him that she smudges her mascara and has to apply another coat.

—

Dustin calls the store some time around lunch. Asks if Steve wants to sub in for Lucas at tonight’s Hellfire campaign, which, first of all, fuck you — he’s been helping Lucas practice for months now, he’s not about to miss this game — and secondly:

“What, to hang out with you and Eddie the Freak Munson?” he asks, idly playing with a slinky. “Uh, yeah. I’ll pass.”

"Dude."

"What?"

"You can’t just call him names because you’re pissed at him! That’s not cool!”

Steve rolls his eyes and tugs the slinky so hard it flops off the counter’s edge.

“Look,” Dustin says, his voice dipping into that low and slow and trustworthy thing that makes Steve want to snap the kid’s non-existent collarbones. “I know you won’t tell me what happened, but whatever it was, he’s sorry, okay? He’s really, really sorry. And he asks me about you, like, every day; if I didn’t know any better I’d swear he was in love with you or something.” Steve chokes on his own spit, and Dustin just keeps going; steps right over Steve’s corpse to continue his impassioned plea. “Besides, friends forgive each other! Right, Steve?”

Goddammit. Steve really regrets saying those exact words in that exact order the last time Lucas and Dustin had a fight. “Man, you can’t just use my own brotherly advice against me.”

“I can, and I will.” Wow. What a little shit. “Seriously, dude, come on! How many times do I have to pass on his apology messages before you just talk to him?”

How many times? How many times?

Steve doesn’t know.

He just knows he’s not ready; knows that as soon as he talks to Eddie, it’ll make it all real. It’ll be over for good. Whatever words they exchange next will get etched into the headstone of the thing they briefly had. He opens his mouth to say something, to try and make sense of the vortex in his head, but all he gets for the effort is a fresh migraine coming on.

He’s saved from answering by the doorbell’s chime. “I got some customers,” he says over Dustin's squawk of protest. “Gotta call you back, bye.”

—

part 57

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[killbaned]

im just glad i remembered to go over everything with my doctor this time. i mentioned the itching in my ears and she looked at them and said yeah they look runny but there's nothing indicating an ear infection, and it's probably allergies and linked to the sinus infection.

i updated her on finally getting the testing scheduled for the gut issues. she asked about the urology thing and i was like "i don't know because i emailed one of your girls with info from my insurance but it looks like the only other urologist around is also tied to [doctor that fired me] so i'm not going to be accepted there."

but i asked about a uro-gyn since most of my problems are related and i kind of hit a wall with the normal gyn because she kept defaulting to "that's urology". there are literally NO urologists around me.

the only issue is that the uro-gyn is in jax and i don't trust taking my car on the interstate or that far rn. i hope next week i can finally start getting the tires replaced on the car, and then after that get the inside work done for the a/c and such.

i just. thought it'd be pulling full time money by now and i'm not. i fucking. asked our scheduler "hey [store manager] and [my direct supervisor] told you i can come in and close any day of the week now right?" and she fucking said no.

no one told her i now have open availability and that i was trying to get more hours.

so what's the point of talking directly to the people in fucking charge lmao.

as now i'm just waiting to get this testing over with because i know the anesthesia is going to fuck me up for a few days and i took time off for it. by the time the testing is done and i'm back to work the schedule for the following few weeks should be out. i reminded our scheduler we'd been talking about me getting extra hours in bopus and that i'm still wanting to do that, so we'll see.

they just fired someone in there so there's a gap and i know they need coverage. i'm not expecting two of the people at the desk to last for much longer so i'm just :\

if nothing's changed once the end of feb/beginning of march schedules drop i'm gonna start looking at what else is hiring for full time closer. i don't WANT to because the other issue is the FMLA thing and if i can get full time where i'm at i'll meet the hours requirement in a few months versus having to wait over a year at a new place.

also for the most part i genuinely like where i'm at and the people i work with. but something has to give because i have expenses i can't keep putting off (the car) and i need to start pulling money so i can start saving to fucking move and get the fuck out of here.

i just feel like i'm spinning my wheels and not getting anywhere but it's a matter of solving these digestive issues. i've gone from eating one small meal a day to only being able to eat solid food every 3+ days. it's not sustainable.

[kelmcdonald]

How is it already April?

crossposted from my newsletter.

Thanks to everyone who came to Emerald City and stopped by! While I did recover from my sinus infection before going, my throat/voice didn't come back until like a week or 2 ago.

This month I'm redoing the Fame and Misfortune live reading. If you don't remember, when I did it in February my mic was broken. I have a new mic! So take two of the live reading is happening! Tune into my twitch on April 22nd at noon PST.

This month is also the release month of The Lizard Prince and Other South American Stories. This is the last Cautionary Fables and Fairytales volume. Iron Circus told me they will get the warehouse at the end of the month. Then it can start going out to backers and stores! 

Also, I want to give a shout out to my pal Matt Wilson's Zoop campaign, Imposter Syndicate. It's about folks who are hired to take over supervillian mantles after a supervillian dies or goes to jail. It has 11 days left to fund. 

Also this month's full moon movie is The Wolf Man, the one for the 40s. If you'd like to join we'll be watching it on April 6th at 4pm PST. Just click here to join the discord.

As always I'll be streaming art on Twitch. My schedule is currently the following:

Tuesday 8pm-10pm PST

Wednesday 8pm-10pm PST

Thursday 6pm-9pm PST (during the Iron Circus Geekshow)

March kicked my ass. Between Emerald City and being sick, I had a lot to catch up on. Both from Seven Seas, Iron Circus, and my comics all had a stack of work to finish up. Honestly, I'm kinda depressed about the fact that I still haven't been able to finish Blue Moon. While Spike is understanding about the delays (given that organizing crowdfunds for her is part of the delay), I'm frustrated at the lack of progress. 

I'm also kinda frustrated with my art lately. Last month I mentioned I might have to put You are the Chosen One on hiatus after the current chapter, but I think I might switch to every other week. It's only way I'm gonna have time to push myself on it the way I want. Regardless, I'd rather wait for Chapter 3 to wrap up before making that schedule change. Until then. I'll just be tired I guess.

But because I don't know any better, I started learning Japanese from Duolingo and Rosetta Stone. I appreciate that they are small enough lessons that I can do them little bit by little bit.  Anyway, while working this is what I've been watching and reading:

History of the World Part 2 - I basically grew up on Mel Brooks movies. I've seen all his movies before graduating high school. So when Hulu said it was making a History of the World Part 2 series, I had to watch it. I didn't quite know what to expect, but had to check it out. Like many sketch shows, the sketches are hit or miss. But when it's funny it's REALLY funny. Johny Knoxvill plays Rasputin in a jackass parody that shows all the way Rasputin is killed and it's so much funnier than it has any right to be. It's definitely worth a watch if you like Mel Brooks.

Palm Springs - This is another comedy where I didn't know what to expect. Groundhog Day but starring Andy Samberg didn't strike me as super original but the trailer looked funny, so I put it on while drawing. It was not only funny but much more heartfelt than I expected. Andy Samberg's characters starts the movie as having already been in the time loop for a long time. He has to relive a wedding he's a guest at over and over. The movies starts when the sister of the bride gets trapped in the timeloop with him. Having two people in the time loop gives it more interesting dynamic than the usual timeloop story. Both characters' different approach to the timeloop adds push and pull to the relationship. And it is just really funny. 

Tár - Right before Emerald City Comic Con a youtuber I like, Maggie Mae Fish, made a video about this movie. And how it examines how people abuse power. The basic summary of the movie is Tár is a conductor at the top of her field and she keep abusing her power, mostly to sleep with/date/groom young attractive women that work for her. It's an interesting movie because if it was about a man it would be a cliche. But because Tár is a woman, the movie can focus on the details and specifics of her abuse of power. There is a lot of attention to detail that helps the movie work on another level. I think if I say anything more, then I'd end up getting into spoilers/would basically be writing an essay about it.

Wolf Pack - I thought this was a sequel to MTV's Teen Wolf. And it is not. It has the same show runner and effects team, so it LOOKS like it should be connected to Teen Wolf, but instead it's much more serious. Which is kinda a shame. The show is kinda stiff in its seriousness. There are interesting bits here and there, like all the werewolves only get one werewolf power unless they are all together. But in its attempt to be series, it also tries to throw in one too many twists and then ends the show by taking a sharp turn into ableist messaging. 

Witch Hat Atelier Volume 1 by Kamome Shirahama - Last month I mentioned I've been listening to the podcast Mangasplaining. This and the next pick are the first of what will probably be several manga I check out based on that podcast. I had been recommended Witch Hat Atelier before and just put it off because time. Mangasplaining reviewing it was the final push I needed. They basically mentioned that magic in this series is 100% a metaphor for art. And appropriately, the art is just so beautiful that it's inspiring. I think it and Ghost Cage were part of what made me think I need to take the time to level up my art.

Delicious in Dungeon by Ryoko Kui - This series I read a bunch of before the pandemic and then the library stopped being up to date on it/interrupted me checking em out regularly. If you aren't familiar, it's about dnd style adventurers exploring a dungeon and experimenting with cooking the monsters they kill (so they don't have to go back for supplies). It's almost over so I went and grabbed the books I hadn't read yet (like 5 I think). This one is really cute and I've liked how the plot has developed from the original premise to something with more complicated.

Ghost Cage by Nick Dragotta and Caleb Goellner - I picked this up because I know both Nick and Caleb. They had the first few issues at SDCC and I made a note to grab the trade when it's out. The premiss is this little robot guy has to fight personifications of what humans use for power (above is Fossil Fuel). The art is the real star of the show. It looks cool as hell and it is the star of the show. The paneling is really rad and interesting. Like I said with Witch Hat Atelier, it left me inspired to try and up my art.

Backpacking through Bedlam (Book 12 in Incryptid series) by Seanan McGuire - The Incryptid series is about a family of Cryptozoologists. This books picks up right after a semi cliffhanger from the last book. It's kinda hard to talk about it on its own. I liked it but I kinda wish it and the book right before it were one book.

That's everything I've been from me this month. I hope I can get a little more time to focus on stuff.

[tiny012]

Still missing yall and honestly got some questions in my inbox I should answer. 

I miss you too @traceofexistence lol 

Here’s a little of what's been going on. 

1. Been sick for the past two weeks with sinus infection and Bronchitis which causing me hell. I’m tired of coughing damn it.

2. Got written up on my job for “ poor performance”  because I only sell five postpaid phone last month ( in a low income area that would rather go on prepaid and call it a day)  and threated to get fired for the millionth time since may. I’m so damn tired of this job and they want you sell 20 plus post paid which is impossible to sell in a low/ fixed income area like my home town is.   I’m not even fighting to keep my job anymore. If they fire me let them fire me. I’m tired of fighting to keep a job that has a high turn over rate in the first place.  My area manger is not a leader and would rather write people up than handle other business dealing with the people under her. 

3. I’m thinking about just going ahead and crossing over to Wal-mart since I’m pretty much half-way trained in Electronics department anyway. The manger over it really wants me to cross over since she knows what  I do since she half way trained me and she apricated  me more than they do. They are in a hiring freeze right now but I’m still thinking about it.  My sister who has been working there for like 25 years really don’t want me to work there but even she understands that T-ROC (the place I work for inside of Wal-Mart) is toxic and  full of it. My whole family is supportive of the fact that if I get fired it’s not my fault, that place it’s toxic and is not worth my mental health. They know that I can get a better job which I’m already looking for one. But I think their end game is trying to make me quit because they are infamous for not wanting to pay unemployment  I have been with that job for a year and like a month and I’m literary the only one of my training class of last year that is still left. 

It was a lot of other shit going on in my job but that summarizes it . Also cutting hours and changing schedules that I pretty much got night shifts... Which we all trying to tell those folks that past a certain time it’s harder to get customers. Especially when electronics pull up the tills around 7.

Got my driver’s permit ( again)  in March  like a day after my B-day and my and my dad been driving. I got it one time before when I was 23 but now I’m committed to learning. Haven't been driving since I’ve been since these past two weeks tho.

So that’s what been going on.

[atasteofchocolates]

I’m not doing well this year.

I just have an overall feeling of negativity that I can’t shake. This want to retreat, to be by myself, push others away. The feeling of anger and exhaustion combined.

I spent the first 3 weeks of the year unwell, Covid, 2 ear infections which reminded me of why after years since the last infection, I still feared the pain. And then a general cold to top it off. The 4th week within January where I was temporarily well, my childhood dog was put to sleep, and I wasn’t even able to say goodbye. Besides that we also found out my aunty has cancer, the bad kind (as if all cancer isn’t bad).

I spend February recovering from January and started to enjoy March and the spring rolling in. Only to become unwell again. A further 4 weeks have past of being unwell, cold turned sinus infection turned cough. My body was really struggling to fight it off. My lips swelled, cracked and bled, my mouth covered in ulcers. Many, many sleepless nights.

I dislike my relationship. I don’t want to. But this year has been hard. I don’t feel as supported as I should have been. I often feel alone, angry and resentful. Then ungrateful because he’s a good guy really. Bob stays away from me when I’m unwell. I’d understand if it was to avoid infection, but it has consistently been him passing on infection to me. He becomes mildly unwell for a week and I struggle for months. We sit opposites side of the sofa, only hold hands every once and a while, don’t cuddle in bed and haven’t kissed properly in months. I hate this. But I can’t push myself to do it. I feel this distance due to the sickness and resentment built from that has made me retreat further. Bob tries, he will tease me like when we first met. But I just want him to either wrap me up in a blanket, and hold me while I take a long deep sleep. Or to leave me alone.

I’m just exhausted.

[thetravellingvagrant]

Day 5: In Which I Nearly Go To The Beach

I opted not to set an alarm for this morning, reasoning that my little faint spell in Burger King, the previous day, like an OAP might have, was probably the result of having overstressed myself physically, by carrying by giant heavy bag around for four hours in the sun. Or maybe it was the beginning stages of a sinus infection. Or maybe it was both. I am a lucky, lucky boy.

I awoke then at the luxurious time of around half past nine. I still felt horrible, but presumably much better than if I had pushed myself to wake up forty five minutes earlier as I had been doing on previous days.

I considered taking my first rest-day of the trip. I had, though, due to various time constraints and bus schedules, only booked for to spend a single full day in Faro, which it did seem a shame to waste in bed. 

I hoisted myself quasi-vertical and began to search for stuff to do. There wasn't much… Faro appears to be one of those places where every TripAdvisor suggestion seems to begin with “you can reach this other, much better place if you just take an hour long ferry ride and then two buses”. I had neither the time not energy for that kind of faffery, today, nor in fact did any of the ferries appear to be running during the winter months. I decided instead then to just have a quick walk around the perimeter of the town, thereby conquering it and claiming it as my own.

I planned my route to loosely pass through many of the inviting looking parks that the town has to offer (the majority of which did unfortunately end up being a bit shit) and set off into the foggy morning, which was actually quite sunny and also in the early afternoon.

I ambled slowly around, stopping off at -what has to be said was - a 5/10 viewpoint, at best.

Yeah...No, it's...it's pretty fine!

Before winding back into the city, via the only nice park of the day which had all peacocks and quote-unquote ‘art’ all in it.

Yep. That's an art, alright.

And what looked like quite am impressive mosque on Google maps, but actually turned out to be an abandoned takeaway

I hope this doesn't lay my cultural ignorance bare, but this *isn't* a mosque, right?

Before I found myself, once more, in the old town. I had a look at some pretty okay churches, I guess

Yeah...No, it's...it's pretty fine!

And shopped for some basically fine souvenirs, before realizing I was kind of just…done with my plans after only a couple of hours.

I stopped off at the still-quite-foul smelling Faro Pier to eat my lunch of a reasonably nice sandwich and the remainder of an even more foul smelling bag of crisps, the smell of raw sewage being dumped into the ocean not bothering me that much, and in fact, actually being quite a potent reminder of home. Satire.

Without much left to do I decided to head home, making sure to walk past the station on the way, so I had some idea of where I would be catching my bus to Seville the following morning (which may seem like overkill, preparation-wise, but actually proved invaluable the next day, so you can just back off my shit, thanks.) And also plodding through the town graveyard which had a lovely family of cats living in it but did also act as a grim reminder of life's ceaseless march towards to cold, dead earth. 6/10.

I finally got home and immediately had a nap. I awoke an hour later feeling no more rested than I had before I went to sleep, but definitely less coherent, so that was something and set about doing a bit of work, the deadline for which I had been duly ignoring for the last month and which had crept up on me in a very upsetting manner, like a pervert from a bush.

Eventually though, after about two hours, I was free from the yoke of the oppressive mistress that was a fairly insubstantial, straightforward administrative task and felt a familiar rumbly in my tumbly.

I had decided, early on today, that my quasi-rest day would also factor in a quasi-cheat day and I would get myself something right nice for dinner. I had a Google to see what was in the area. Mostly kebabs. Didn't really fancy a kebab, having gone right off them for some unknown reason in the last year; nor did I find myself especially enamoured with any of the recommended local delicacies which appeared to be limited to either a dry pork bun or a plate full of prawns. 

To my shame, then, I found myself, once again, in Burger King, the novelty of it being only a five minute walk from the apartment too much to bare. (The nearest Burger King to my house in Scotland is a ten minute walk. This was a game changer.)

I left with the upsettingly named “brutal bacon” burger meal, a little milkshake and some heavily discounted onion rings due to a mistake on the part of the staff, ensconced myself beneath my duvet and ate the entire thing in my pants while watching an episode of south park and it was brilliant and I will not be shamed for it and I will fight any man, woman or, especially, child who intimates otherwise.

[the-ugly-truth]

A backwards Struggle

For what I thought has been allergies and the odd sinus infection for the last 12 weeks has now turned out to be a chronic case of bronchitis. Oh the joys, I have to spend the next week on antibiotics so strong they make me shake , a steroid nose spray that stinks, oral steroids to help blast the cough and my lungs followed by a string antihistamine for me to try as their not 100% sure what been causing it all.

I am secretly hoping that after a huge blast of antibiotics and anti inflammatory meds that this may be the kick I need to finally shake Long Covid. Surly there can’t be any more infections in my system after the amount of “treatment” I’ve had over the past 10 months.

I’ve finally put myself into a t-total state, no alcohol, no smoking, vaping nothing that can remotely affect my health. I want to be the healthiest version of myself I can possibly be. I’m hoping that once this infection clears up il have a little more energy and be able to start exercising again. I really do love exercising, my only issue is I haven’t been able to do anything since March 2022. A whole year and half wasted with not know why I was depressed, why I didn’t want to do things, why I couldn’t breathe.

life sucks ass sometimes but everything in this life is set to test us and only the strong ones fight it out the other side.

I am a fighter and I will be a LC worrier 💪🏼🤘🏼

[withastolenlantern]

“I’m assisting the Consortium with some thefts,” the detective said, only half-lying. “The Lady insisted I leave the uniform at home. Personally I think she just likes to watch me squirm.”

“Well it’s a lovely dress,” the news reader fawned, “Where did you get it? I must know your secret.”

“Er… Selfridge’s, actually,” Chatham admitted sheepishly, her cheeks suddenly flushed with embarrassment.

“No!” Hill exclaimed. “What a find; it’s simply marvelous. And I love your hair!” she gushed as the detective took on an entirely new definition of red. “It took four people to tame this monstrosity,” she continued, pointing to her elaborate hair style. “Cheryl, my normal stylist, will note doubt be appalled.”

A crash rang out from across the room, and as Chatham turned to see the source of the commotion she found two of the waitstaff helping a large suited gentleman from the floor. A small group of onlookers gathered around some with looks of concern, other faces alight with laughter.

“Gavin’s drunk again, I see,” Hill commented. “No surprise there.”

“Gavin?” the inspector asked.

“Terry. Captain of the national rugby team. Hooker, if I recall correctly.”

“Are you on a first name basis with all of Britain’s sports heroes?” Chatham said, half-incredulous, half-chiding.

“Most of them,” the reporter admitted with a deadpan that took the detective briefly aback. “Sport is big business, you know. Rugby used to be likened to a substitute for actual warfare, in jest anyway, but I think there’s a lot of truth there. The way things are, no one really has stomach for full-on conflict anymore; it’s all proxy-action this and insurgency that, but you can never really win those types of engagements.”

“Don’t I know it,” Chatham muttered, involuntarily scratching her shoulder.

“But people need something to cheer for, to find pride in, especially now that their jobs are gone and their houses are falling apart and their health is failing,” Hill continued.

“I thought only people in my line of work could be so cynical,” the detective teased.

“You try spending everyday reading reports about the impending collapse of the human condition and then follow it up trying to get more than grunts or single word answers out of Sporty McMutton over there,” she gestured across the room. “There’s not a lot happening in the upper floors, if you catch my drift. And that gets old after three minutes… or three shags,” she sighed.

“You didn’t!”

“Our publicists set it up,” the reporter explained, embarrassed. “He’s fit, for sure, and that’s nice every once in a while. But I typically prefer more intellectual and… gentle… companionship,” she continued, all subtext gone as her hand grazed the hem at the inspector’s upper arm.

Eloise Chatham had many talents but flirting was not among them; as a professional investigator it was often painfully obvious when she was being propositioned, but knowing how to respond in kind was another story entirely. A gangly teenager with a dead father, that part of her adolescent education had been entirely insufficient. Not that later on in life the opportunities or experiences were lacking, but rather that she had a tendency to throw herself head long into other aspects of her life, and personal relationships went on the backburner by the kettle. The Service’s shrink posited it was a coping mechanism designed to compartmentalize her trauma: one can’t feel love if they’re too full of hate. The therapist was probably right, but it didn’t help in this predicament.

Her earlier dalliances all had commonalities: short, perfunctory, loveless. The human condition compelled the formation of connections, including the physical, and she was too practical to try and ignore millions of years of evolution. There’d been a young gentleman at university who’d tried to make an honest woman of her, but she was still too raw, then, too full of anger and vulnerability, and she pushed him away. Her enlistment had been an ideal outlet: a literal army of young, fit people all vacillating between periods of sheer terror and interminable boredom lent itself toward the comfort of brief couplings. The senior officers mostly looked the other way so long as it didn’t interfere with the mission. She’d had a long-term arrangement with a young Kiwi lieutenant from another regiment; whenever they were both on station they’d bribe the motor pool sergeant with whatever hooch they could scrounge and spend what precious time they could manage fumbling in the cargo bay of a CH-70 for some semblance of normality. Chatham had found her lilting accent and soft skin a welcome respite from the otherwise horrific clamor of counter-insurgency; she had a fern tattoo across her upper shoulder that the detective spent hours tracing gently with her finger-tips as she tried to ignore the brutality surrounding them. But then her commission ended and she’d mustered out back to England, never to see the lieutenant again.

The newsreader was very beautiful, and it had been, as Gibson was prone to periodically remind her, a long time. Maybe it was the whiskey, or the dress, or the stress of the case, but a not-insignificant portion of her internal monologue screamed for her to make the poor choice and give in to her baser instincts.

[enchantedto]

.

[nonasuch]

If COVID is *SoOoOo dangerous* then why have literally no one I know caught despite not changing anything about the way we live our lives (except when those “lockdowns” were in place)?

I’m an active college student, shouldn’t at least one of my peers gotten it yet? And none have, 🙃.

How can it be a pandemic if you don’t believe their lies and it just melts away. Break the chains. Free yourself before it’s too late.

god I hope this is the same dipshit anon as before, and not an entire brand new idiot.

anyway, the answer to your question is ‘incredible fucking luck, and also other people around you being responsible enough to to shield your dumb ass from your bad decisions.’

anyway, wanna hear about the people I know who’ve had covid? let’s start with my own fucking parents.

My dad is a doctor — specifically, a podiatrist. The first week of March 2020, he had a patient who was obviously, visibly unwell. Horrible cough, sweating profusely, wheezing, real bad news. Guy insisted it was just seasonal allergies, just a cold, he was fine.

My dad was like, hey, as a foot doctor I cannot diagnose you with a respiratory virus, but you need to get the fuck out of my office and see your GP immediately.

Did my dad’s patient listen? No. He hung out in reception chatting with my dad’s staff between coughing fits for another fifteen minutes, until my dad came back out and yelled at him.

Two weeks later, my dad had a fever and body aches. By then we all knew a full-blown pandemic was happening, so he quarantined until his symptoms were gone — in his case, luckily, only a few days. About as mild a case as you can have.

Week after that, my mom had a persistent ‘sinus infection’ that wouldn’t go away. Then lost taste and smell. Then spent a couple of weeks with really miserable ‘worst flu you’ve ever had’ symptoms, and took the better part of a month to fully recover.

Oh, and my dad’s staff all got it, too. Some of them also gave it to family members. Everyone’s okay now, thankfully.

My dad’s patient, on the other hand? Never saw his GP. Turned up at the ER a few weeks later, and was dead before April.

And that was original flavor covid, not Delta, which is far more contagious and hits younger people harder than Covid Classic.

I live in an area that’s been consistently taking all the precautions: mask mandates that are actually enforced, three months of shelter-in-place last year, high vaccination rates. We never overwhelmed our hospitals and our rates have consistently been lower than most of the country. I’m incredibly lucky that no one I know personally has died from covid.

But I know plenty of people who’ve had it. My former intern caught it at college despite her best efforts. The restaurant across the street has has to close every few months, over and over, every time an employee tested positive. A close friend has it right now and it’s hitting her pretty hard, despite being fully vaccinated.

And if you want to hear the real horror stories, there’s always r/HermanCainAward.

tldr: don’t confuse your luck with invincibility. and don’t confuse your deliberately blinkered view of the world with any kind of truth.

also, get fucking vaccinated already. jesus. what the fuck.

[so-tarafyd]

Please ignore, I'm just needing to vent

--

I've been having difficulties breathing and standing, with increasing headaches, since November. I have a scent allergy and I'm asthmatic, and this guy came into my workplace bathed in cologne and I was in his presence for too long. Ended up getting sick with either a sinus or lung infection. Cue the next few weeks, turning into months, of me getting tests done and seeing the doctor trying to figure out what's wrong with me.

Then boom, January. I end up with this massive headache - so painful that I'm bedridden and physically sick and I can barely open my eyes without pain. Next day, I'm positive for covid (yes I'm vaccinated, yes you can still catch it even if your vaccinated like how you can still get the flu even with flue shots, and no, I don't want to talk about your personal beliefs regarding the pandemic) and it is the worst time of my life. I'm scared, sick, can't taste a fucking thing, bored out of my mind, and I'm having such a difficult time breathing and having chest pains that I needed to go to the ER. They can't find anything wrong so I'm sent home with the instructions to up my inhaler doses, have some pills that they gave me, and talk to my doctor about anxiety meds.

Now I'm negative, and I go back to work after the appropriate time, even though I'm still having breathing and standing issues (can't be on my feet for more than maybe 10 minutes), and I can't even last 5 hours. I'm sent home, then next day I want to try again and MY LEGS CANT EVEN HOLD ME UP I COLLAPSE AND MY BOYFRIEND HAS TO PICK ME UP AND PUT ME IN BED BECAUSE I PHYSICALLY COULDNT MOVE MY LOWER HALF. I was shaking and crying and so scared that it sent me into an asthma attack.

Ended up having to go on medical leave, I'm off for two weeks. I have to go see a lung specialist in March, and I'm waiting for a call to get a CT scan. A coworker lent me a cane bc she saw how much I struggled trying to walk. I can barely breath, I can't laugh or talk too long without triggering asthma or chest pains. I thought I was doing better - I wasn't shaking as much but then today I had such an intense pain in my back that the breath I took sent me into another asthma attack. Now I'm stuck on the couch bc my lower body is in pain, and I'm having a hard time moving. My upper spine is killing me, my arms are tired, I'M so tired and defeated and I just want this to be figured out so we can figure what to do.

Sorry I just really really needed to vent.

[the-end-of-art]

So why are we getting bullied into opening?

“I’m sorry, but it’s a fantasy” by Jeff Gregorich, Arizona school superintendent at The Washington Post

This is my choice, but I’m starting to wish that it wasn’t. I don’t feel qualified. I’ve been a superintendent for 20 years, so I guess I should be used to making decisions, but I keep getting lost in my head. I’ll be in my office looking at a blank computer screen, and then all of the sudden I realize a whole hour’s gone by. I’m worried. I’m worried about everything. Each possibility I come up with is a bad one.

The governor has told us we have to open our schools to students on August 17th, or else we miss out on five percent of our funding. I run a high-needs district in middle-of-nowhere Arizona. We’re 90 percent Hispanic and more than 90 percent free-and-reduced lunch. These kids need every dollar we can get. But covid is spreading all over this area and hitting my staff, and now it feels like there’s a gun to my head. I already lost one teacher to this virus. Do I risk opening back up even if it’s going to cost us more lives? Or do we run school remotely and end up depriving these kids?

This is your classic one-horse town. Picture John Wayne riding through cactuses and all that. I’m superintendent, high school principal and sometimes the basketball referee during recess. This is a skeleton staff, and we pay an average salary of about 40,000 a year. I’ve got nothing to cut. We’re buying new programs for virtual learning and trying to get hotspots and iPads for all our kids. Five percent of our budget is hundreds of thousands of dollars. Where’s that going to come from? I might lose teaching positions or basic curriculum unless we somehow get up and running.

I’ve been in the building every day, sanitizing doors and measuring out space in classrooms. We still haven’t received our order of Plexiglas barriers, so we’re cutting up shower curtains and trying to make do with that. It’s one obstacle after the next. Just last week I found out we had another staff member who tested positive, so I went through the guidance from OSHA and the CDC and tried to figure out the protocols. I’m not an expert at any of this, but I did my best with the contact tracing. I called 10 people on staff and told them they’d had a possible exposure. I arranged separate cars and got us all to the testing site. Some of my staff members were crying. They’ve seen what can happen, and they’re coming to me with questions I can’t always answer. “Does my whole family need to get tested?” “How long do I have to quarantine?” “What if this virus hits me like it did Mrs. Byrd?”

We got back two of those tests already — both positive. We’re still waiting on eight more. That makes 11 percent of my staff that’s gotten covid, and we haven’t had a single student in our buildings since March. Part of our facility is closed down for decontamination, but we don’t have anyone left to decontaminate it unless I want to put on my hazmat suit and go in there. We’ve seen the impacts of this virus on our maintenance department, on transportation, on food service, on faculty. It’s like this district is shutting down case by case. I don’t understand how anyone could expect us to reopen the building this month in a way that feels safe. It’s like they’re telling us: “Okay. Summer’s over. It’s been long enough. Time to get back to normal.” But since when has this virus operated on our schedule?

I dream about going back to normal. I’d love to be open. These kids are hurting right now. I don’t need a politician to tell me that. We only have 300 students in this district, and they’re like family. My wife is a teacher here, and we had four kids go through these schools. I know whose parents are laid off from the copper mine and who doesn’t have enough to eat. We delivered breakfast and lunches this summer, and we gave out more meals each day than we have students. I get phone calls from families dealing with poverty issues, depression, loneliness, boredom. Some of these kids are out in the wilderness right now, and school is the best place for them. We all agree on that. But every time I start to play out what that looks like on August 17th, I get sick to my stomach. More than a quarter of our students live with grandparents. These kids could very easily catch this virus, spread it and bring it back home. It’s not safe. There’s no way it can be safe.

If you think anything else, I’m sorry, but it’s a fantasy. Kids will get sick, or worse. Family members will die. Teachers will die.

Jeff Gregorich, superintendent of schools at Hayden Winkelman Unified School District in Arizona, shows results of a district survey. (Photos by Caitlin O’Hara for The Washington Post)

Mrs. Byrd did everything right. She followed all the protocols. If there’s such a thing as a safe, controlled environment inside a classroom during a pandemic, that was it. We had three teachers sharing a room so they could teach a virtual summer school. They were so careful. This was back in June, when cases here were starting to spike. The kids were at home, but the teachers wanted to be together in the classroom so they could team up on the new technology. I thought that was a good idea. It’s a big room. They could watch and learn from each other. Mrs. Byrd was a master teacher. She’d been here since 1982, and she was always coming up with creative ideas. They delivered care packages to the elementary students so they could sprout beans for something hands-on at home, and then the teachers all took turns in front of the camera. All three of them wore masks. They checked their temperatures. They taught on their own devices and didn’t share anything, not even a pencil.

At first she thought it was a sinus infection. That’s what the doctor told her, but it kept getting worse. I got a call that she’d been rushed to the hospital. Her oxygen was low, and they put her on a ventilator pretty much right away. The other two teachers started feeling sick the same weekend, so they went to get tested. They both had it bad for the next month. Mrs. Byrd’s husband got it and was hospitalized. Her brother got it and passed away. Mrs. Byrd fought for a few weeks until she couldn’t anymore.

I’ve gone over it in my head a thousand times. What precautions did we miss? What more could I have done? I don’t have an answer. These were three responsible adults in an otherwise empty classroom, and they worked hard to protect each other. We still couldn’t control it. That’s what scares me.

We got the whole staff together for grief counseling. We did it virtually, over Zoom. There’s sadness, and it’s also so much fear. My wife is one of our teachers in the primary grade, and she has asthma. She was explaining to me how every kid who sees her automatically gives her a hug. They arrive in the morning — hug. Leave for recess — hug. Lunch — hug. Locker — hug. That’s all day. Even if we do everything perfectly, germs are going to spread inside a school. We share the same space. We share the same air.

A bunch of our teachers have told me they will put in for retirement if we open up this month. They’re saying: “Please don’t make us go back. This is crazy. We’re putting the whole community at risk.”

They’re right. I agree with them 100 percent. Teachers don’t feel safe. Most parents said in a survey that they’re “very concerned” about sending their kids back to school. So why are we getting bullied into opening? This district isn’t ready to open. I can’t have more people getting sick. Why are they threatening our funding? I keep waiting for someone higher up to take this decision out of my hands and come to their senses. I’m waiting for real leadership, but maybe it’s not going to happen.

It’s me. It’s the biggest decision of my career, and the one part I’m certain about is it’s going to hurt either way.

(https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2020/08/01/schools-reopening-coronavirus-arizona-superintendent/?arc404=true&campaign_id=9&emc=edit_nn_20200803&instance_id=20930&nl=the-morning®i_id=72340436&segment_id=35086&te=1&user_id=e60ae3c4dd2d7adddb2ce123ccc9fad4)

[enigmalea]

DA Fandom Resolutions 2021 Update

March has been a weird month. I actually got sick on March 1st. Really sick. It turns out most of my symptoms were a virtually undetectable sinus infection and low vitamin D (plus all my other chronic crap) added together. I’ve been so non-functional I haven’t worked all month. It does mean that when I’ve managed to be awake, I’ve done some fandom stuff - though not as much as I feel like I should have done.

Here are my original resolutions. Let’s take a look at my progress for this @hangedmandisc​ challenge.

WRITING RESOLUTION: 100 words per day

I wrote all but one week of March. The second week was the worst week of symptoms for me, and I was barely awake, much less able to write. However, I did manage to hit my monthly goal, because the other three weeks I wrote more than I needed to... and I still plan on writing some more tonight. I thought I’d get this post out with a tentative count for the month though.

total word count: 4250+/3000 I’m calling this one a 10/10 win for this month, even skipping a month. I’m giving myself a break. Sleeping 15-16 hours a day because you can’t exist due to your body forcing you to sleep is definitely an excuse.

GENERAL FANDOM RESOLUTIONS:

participate in @DAPOLYSHIPPINGDAY​ every month.

March was a good month! I posted an ask meme and got a few asks which helped me with posts.

ask meme reblog (feel free to use yourself for April!) | ask reblog 1 | reblog 2 I received two more asks after the cutoff that I’m set to reblog tomorrow for dapolyshipping day.

read/watch all the DA side media this year.

Everything this month was super shor (and free!)t, so it was no trouble to get through it. Check it out yourselves: Dragon Age: Origins (Penny Arcade comic),  Warden's Fall (web series),  and Dragon Age: Awakening (Penny Arcade).

Next month is the DA2 Short Stories and the Redemption Web Series.

BONUS RESOLUTIONS:

post at least one WIP Wednesday a month

I said last month I would do two to make up for missing on February, and I did. You can find them here: post 1 | post 2

[etraytin]

Quarantine, Day 183

September 10

Today is Day 183, which officially means it has been more than half a year since lockdown started and the whole world twisted on its axis. I read something from somebody today talking about how they were dealing with feelings of frustration towards their kid. It was something like "I try to remember how one day in March, I picked him up from school like normal, and then with no warning he never saw his friends again. Even an adult doesn't really have tools to process that." I feel like I'm treading a fine line with the kiddo sometimes, between being sensitive to the pain and confusion he's feeling and letting him act out in ways that are inappropriate and hard to live with. When none of us can leave the house and my husband has to work from home, the kiddo cannot be slamming around and yelling (especially since we also have upstairs and downstairs neighbors), but I could probably be more tolerant of the simple whining. There's just so much to whine about, for all of us! 

There were no technical problems with school today, so that was a relief, but they still really aren't learning anything except how to do online classes and remote learning. It's important, I know, but the kiddo has done virtual learning since he learned to read and he is bored, bored, bored. He was also really keyed up today for some reason and threw an absolute fit when he couldn't get his favorite Minecraft server working, and then another one when he wasn't doing very well on the alternative server he tried. Before he went back for his afternoon class time I had him cuddle one of the kittens to calm down, which helped. Later on while I was cooking supper and Husband was stuck in a stupidly late faculty meeting, the kiddo was looking for a snack and whining about his options, and I crabbed at him about it. He brought me a kitten to cuddle. It helped. 

I had my yearly CPAP checkup today, took in my machine and had a short little conference with the near-doctor who handles such things at the sleep clinic. She says that I probably ought to get more sleep, since my days-used compliance is 100%, but my Days Used >4hrs is only 83% for the past month. I told her yeah, that is because of the kittens, but they are weaned now so I do plan on getting some sleep. She remembered that I also had kittens last year when I had my appointment and I said that there are a lot of kittens out there, but I do plan on taking a break soon. She was glad to hear that my CPAP is improving my life, even if it is less making me more alert and more curing the frequent sinus infections that come from open-mouth sleeping in dry air. I tell you what, if you are an open-mouth sleeper and you wake up every morning feeling like your entire head is full of dry sand, a CPAP that blows warm, moist air down your throat all night is a true game changer. I don't think I had half as many colds in 2019 as the year before. 

On my way back from the doctor I stopped by Kroger and picked up onions, grapes, and bread. I've needed onions for days, but the frozen chopped onions in my grocery order were out of stock. I actually bought fresh whole onions today, like a peasant! But I really needed them for several recipes, and then the grapes were 77 cents a pound so of course I stocked up. I also stopped by the Starbucks kiosk in the store because I was very sleepy and I also wanted to commemorate the start of Pumpkin Spice season. It was definitely not the same not being able to drink coffee while shopping, but it was still good. My Starbucks gift card is about to run out, so it's good that I got my latte while the getting was good. Kroger was busy but everyone was wearing masks and standing pretty far apart. 

My big project for the afternoon was the sock basket, with the kiddo's help. I do my laundry in the laziest way possible, which is to say that any sock without a match in immediate view gets thrown into the sock basket to languish. When the basket is completely full or we are totally out of socks, the basket must be dealt with. After the massive laundry project of last week, the sock basket had overspilled its bounds and filled most of a second clothes basket as well. (We have a surprising number of socks for three people because we are always losing them. Or they are in the sock basket.) We sat down in front of the TV and watched The Good Place while sorting and matching socks. I did white socks and black socks, while the kiddo did color and pattern socks. It took more than an hour to do all the socks, but we are down to about a third of a basket of unsorted socks now, which is much better. Some people say you should throw away your unmatched socks after you sort them, but that is dumb because single socks are useful for all kinds of things, and you never know when you'll need one until they are all gone. 

Oh, and the Minecraft saga had a happy ending, at least. We were able to figure out the problem with his preferred server and get it working again, so peace once again reigns in our fair apartment. Someday he's going to get very into a complex videogame that I know nothing about and we will be screwed as far as troubleshooting, but today is not that day! 

[noblechaton]

okay so this is a post I’ve wanted to make for a lil while now but I’ve been kinda....not huge on talking about what’s been going on with me health-wise bc it’s been so stressful (and writing all of this on mobile would suck lol) but anyway I feel like explaining why I haven’t been writing or even really posting too much

also a lil warning here but it gets a bit gross due to what’s going on lately so uh be careful near the end of this if ur squeamish (like me) and also this is very long bc it sorta recounts the last 6-7 months so it might be a bit messy looking

alright so. on october 28th after getting poor, fragmented amounts of sleep and having nothing to eat besides fast food bc it’s all my family got (mcdonalds in the morning and chinese food for dinner) I had this awful scary pain in my chest (upper left side, at that) and it worried me real bad but I pushed thru for a few days bc i thought maybe it’d clear itself up and stuff

but it didn’t and so after maybe a week or so with it I told my parents and we first went to my aunt’s urgent care place for an EKG (which was normal) but we were soon set up for a doctor’s appointment (my first in like....at least 5 years. probs more tbh) and he examined me but wasn’t able to figure anything out so he set up some further tests at a cardiologist and those came and went (an echocardiogram and a stress test along with some more EKGs) and all of them went well so we still had no idea what the issue is/was but I was put on a lot of medications to try and see if anything helped (plus I got put on antidepressants which was nice for a bit but they caused problems physically so I’ve stopped taking them)

by like mid febuary I think?? (and after totally reorganizing my diet for a few months to include healthier stuff and exercise) the issue started to fade and for a minute I thought it’d worked itself out

but then like two weeks before march started my wrists and ankles started hurting bad enough to cause my hands and feet to twitch and shake which terrified me but I didn’t say anything (mostly bc my family, namely my mom, is/was getting fed up with my medical stuff and I didn’t wanna make her more mad lol) however it stopped a lil before march really started

but then my head started pounding nonstop and it hurt super bad for 5 weeks (urgent care did nothing bc like. they just can’t do anything for that) and near the end of it I went and got an MRI done which came back good, just like the cardio stuff did earlier (tho it pointed out a minor sinus infection which I think is what caused/causes it??)

then near the end of march (and after taking appropriate OTC stuff for sinus infections) it sorta lessened and has since eased up despite some flare ups here and there which might be caused by....whatever’s going on now, which brings me to....

two or so days before the MRI I ended up vomiting up some food which was weird bc I don’t really vomit and then it happened the next day too and I got worried but at first I thought it was food poisoning since my diet had kinda shifted back to bad habits due to the head pains but then the day of the MRI and the day or two after that the puking stopped only to then started back up again

now something I realized after a while was that I wasn’t like actually puking like normal puke but instead it looked like it was just my food (not to be too gross but I could/can see actual pieces of food as they would have looked in my mouth sometimes) which led me to (sort of) figuring out that what I’ve been doing is actually regurgitating for some reason (everything from typical food finely chewed to apples to certain drinks like apple juice and even water sometimes to straight up mucus that runs down my throat/gets sniffled) and my throat has felt weird, like knotted up?? tight?? or something even tho I’ve only had minor difficulties swallowing sometimes (a lot of the pain/issue comes when I speak I think)

so that’s where I’m at now. for w/e reason I can’t get anything besides water and crackers down consistently (and even then those still come up sometimes) and I’ve been looking for solutions myself or to at least figure out what it is since I sort of need to be able to eat more than just once every few days (tho I seem to keep toast down which is nice)

mostly I’ve been leaning towards GERD since there’s no real/overt pains, I’ve had acid reflux all my life as far as I can remember, and it ties in with the upper chest pain and headaches but then I wasn’t doing this for the last ~7 months, this regurgitating thing only just started, so I’m not entirely convinced tho idk what else it could be (the doc I spoke to today mentioned a hernia thingy?? which is what I leaned for at first when it was just chest aches and looking at symptoms now it does kinda fit still but also it doesn’t?? so idk) 

and this entire time I’ve been scared out of my mind bc of various reasons (from not knowing what’s going on to what my body’s actually been doing to my own family members kinda not helping to put it very lightly lol) and that’s kinda why my writing drive has been next to nonexistent and I haven’t been posting all that often (and part of why I haven’t seen the ML finale - I don’t need that kinda feeling rn lmao)

now tho the plan is to get an endoscopy at the hospital sometime soon I think (I’m waiting for a scheduling phone call rn) while taking prilosec (which....isn’t really working tbh) and I’m just kinda trying to hang in there and not freak out too badly but it’s been hard lol

hopefully we can set this thing up today and get it done asap so I can maybe start being myself again sooner rather than later assuming I even can but yea!! I appreciate the patience and kindness that’s been offered to me over the last few months especially since y’all didn’t even know I was going thru anything lmao

also!! real quick!! another (maybe not as major) reason as to why writing’s slowed so much is bc I sorta ran out of room in my room and started stacking stuff on my computer and typing out full fledged fics on my lil ipod (yes, ipod, not phone) is uh really hard!! but I managed to clean some stuff up in between all of this and once I get better I’ll be doing more cleaning in my room to try and have my computer back full time

[2020diary4]

Part 1 of 2020 Diary

Diary

Thursday March 19

4:30

I’m really bored as heck so I decided to keep a diary. I decided to keep a diary because of someone wanted to know what was going on now it would be good to see it from my perspective.

Nothing has really happened today but yesterday is probably a better example how life is going.

My Bio teacher probably put it best when she sent out an email about something on google classroom. Her email said information about March/ April Shit down. Now obviously that is a typo but it does not make it less true.

A few weeks ago I would have not believe you if you told me what is going on now. I would have laughed if you told me people were getting a shit ton of toilet paper (pun not intended). I would have been wheezing if you told me shelved would have been empty. I would have been rolling on the ground if you told me campaxicty would have been cut in half. I would have been breathe less if you told me restaurants drive theirs would be open. I would have been dead if you told me schools would be close indefinitely (though they are aiming for them to be open after spring break).

School has been off since Monday. I’ve been out since Thursday because I had a upper respiratory infection. I could have continued going to school if everyone was not scared. My Geo teacher told me to stay home, despite saying nothing when I had a sinus infection, pneumonia, and a 100 degree fever in December. We have two weeks off and two weeks for spring break.

Yesterday my mom and I went to t-mobile because my mom’s phone has been supper shitty for years and she said she was not going through the apocalypse without a phone that is working. I went with her because there’s only so much you can take scrolling Pinterest and being in bad weather before you start to get cabin fever.

We went there at a good time because when other people try to enter they told them it was at max complaxicty and it would be a hour before they would be able to get served. This one Boomer got all up in arms about it till she realized it was because of cobravirus. Everyone in there was like no shit Sherlock. so we got our phones and then went to about five different grocery stores. One reason was to get me a otterbox . Im a professional accident prone and have broken as many otter boxes as I broken bones. Another reason was to get turkey for my dad we got some honey ham the other day but he doesn’t like honey ham. The reason we went to some stores is because they were all out of all lunch meat much less turkey.

I think that today’s been pretty boring I woke up at 12 but that was because I went to bed around 3:30AM. My sleeping schedule has always been pretty messed up but even with no structure that’s even worse. I have no school I have no reason to kill myself by getting up earlier than 12. Due to my ADHD making my thoughts go wild because I can’t take my medicine due to me wake up too late it’s even worse.

5:45

Dduuuuuccccckkk!!!

Duck

We have to shelter in place.

You know I thought I just saw I said 2020 was gonna be a good year. Welp two days in WW is three is trending. A week in Australia some fire. Now just three months then and we have a pandemic going on. I always seem to have the worst luck. I should have knock on some wood and I should’ve knocked on some wood earlier when I said today was a boring day my fault sorry.