#the mirror doesn't define you

[monstersqueen]

akutagawa's capability for gentleness and atsushi's ability for violence <3

[dreamingofthewild]

Edit: I have edited this because I think my first reblog was misconstrued.

This post was in response to a post that said Gale didn't have any hubris and only wanted to take the crown in act 3 as an alternative to dying. I am adding this because context is important. I wanted to respond to that and this post with my own analysis. This is not a Gale wasn't groomed and hurt Mystra post.

Tl;Dr. his so-called 'hubris' is not typical hubris. His ambitious nature is his way to cope with feelings of powerlessness and vulnerability. The crown is a desperate attempt to take control of the over his life because he feels powerless. His 'pride' masks his underlying securities, and his personality is a direct result of being groomed and being a prodigy. He is curious and ambitious. He wants to be the best at what he does, and that was used against him.

In Act 3, Gale’s motivations for taking the crown are more complex than his survival alone. It represents a way to take control of his destiny and to retaliate against the divine manipulations he has suffered. This mirrors other characters’ arcs, like Astarion’s, where the pursuit of power is tied to a need for control and safety.

Returning the crown is a humble act for Gale. It signifies his realization that he does not need godly power to prove his worth or control his destiny. This act is about reclaiming his humanity and accepting that he is enough as he is. Gale’s pride and ambition are deeply intertwined with his insecurities and need for validation, shaped by Mystra and his environment. By the end, Gale's journey is about rejecting the manipulative influences of Mystra and the gods, recognizing his intrinsic value, and finding a new path not dictated by his need for external approval.

Gale was recognized as a prodigy from a young age, with significant figures like Elminster influencing his early life and training at Blackstaff. Gale might have faced immense pressure and high expectations to excel and prove his talent, resulting in him doing things like stealing the Blackstaff to prove it. This pressure could have fostered an environment where only exceptional achievements were valued, pushing him toward overconfidence. Heightened when Mystra selected him as her chosen in his youth.

Gale’s ambition to become Mystra’s equal and access forbidden knowledge was driven by his curiosity and a desire to prove himself. His hubris here is not about raw power but about seeking validation and a sense of worthiness. His ambition was encouraged by her but she kept him dependent on her validation by letting him fall in love with her and isolating him from his peers.

Gale was doing exactly what Mystra asked of him when he went searching for the lost part of the weave, because it is the job of the chosen to search for and destroy all that could disrupt the weave. He only wanted to serve her better, and prove that he was ready to become a God along side her.

Gale's hubris was in thinking that he was truly special to Mystra and could ever be her equal. In failing to listen to others when they told him that it wasn't a good idea, and possibly in impatience. He thought he could be equal to a god, but it is not his fault because Mystra and his peers conditioned him to think that. So, of course, he thinks that he overstepped her boundaries when wanting more and is the villain in this story. He is only a human and there is nothing wrong with wanting to be equal to the one you love, and wanting to be the best at what you do.

Gale is not a power-hungry man with a god complex. He wants more because he never feels satisfied or worthy. The orb fed off his desire for more, which is rooted in his insecurities and need for guidance and support—things Mystra didn’t provide.

Gale's pride and ambition are not just traits of his character but are also deeply intertwined with his need for validation, control (of his own life, which he never had), and influence, shaped by his relationship with Mystra and his own inner insecurities.

Mystra prays on ambitious wizards, and encourages them to push the boundaries of magic and serve her.

His story is a complex one with a lot of naunce that requires people to read between the lines. I honestly think that it is also poor writing because Gale, Astarion, and Wyll were supposed to have darker back stories in EA. So I think some of it is left over from that, but they also didn't want to villinise Mystra too much, so they didn't delve into his abuse like they did the others. And then Gale never became a God when the game was first released, before the Epilogue. Also, they removed some of Gale's dialogues from the game. So what we get is a bit confusing and requires looking into Mystra's lore, which most people are not going to do.

I don't think it's mischaracterisation to say Gale's too ambitious for his own good. He straight up admits he wanted to cross Mystra's boundaries for more power, because he was standing on the edge of it and could see what he could be capable of. I think it does him a disservice to say he is only acting for the greater good when he admits he's 'the villain of the tale' - it's tongue in cheek and he's not a villain he's just made mistakes, but he's also not entirely selfless. Regarding the crown, the choice between giving it back to Mystra or keeping it for himself is huge.

[teaboot]

It just now occurred to me that some of yall don't remember a time before touch screens

Like. The first popular touch screens I knew of were high end new-edition ipods and that was their defining trait. No buttons.

"But how do we use it without buttons?" Well. It has three buttons. Power and volume.

My whole class full of middle class kids had ipod nanos, ipod shuffles they got for Christmas. I had an MP3 player, and before that, a cassette player and a portable CD player.

The 'ipod touch' was goddamn crazy. Like, space-age shit.

I swear to god when I got one as a gift from a well-off relative it had no music, no games, I didn't know how to connect it to the internet, nothing, but the reality of a smooth screen that responded when you touched it like some kind of goddamn hologram, like a pocket mirror with color-changing cuttlefish skin that knew I was touching it, that I just spent a solid hour and a half in my room just swiping the screen back and forth.

And the idea that you could connect to the INTERNET on it?? And not the expensive shitty pixelated crap you paid $50 a minute for on your flip phone, but WHOLE WEBSITES? JUST LIKE ON A LAPTOP? Ooooooooooohmygod.

And it was small enough to hide under the covers with!! I could read after bedtime!!! Before that, I had a second-hand digital camera, and I'd take photos of my comic books during the day so I could read through them later on the tiny ass 2"x2" view screen. And before THAT, it was a bedside lamp I'd scramble to turn off if it sounded like someone was getting close to the stairs.

And after the ipod touch, card readers started getting touch screens. I didn't think I'd ever get used to being encouraged to smear my fingerprints on the glass.

And SMARTBOARDS? Hoooooooooooooooly shit.

Like. I'm not even old yet, and every so often I just suddenly remember that the world I knew at that age doesn't exist anymore.

And what's all this going to become?

Who knows

[mac-tirs]

the not-insignificant differences between the omen twins

so, i saw this picture posted by @amanaci which inspired me to write this rather lengthy piece on the contrasts between morgott and mohg. i decided that, instead of dumping this whole think-piece on their post, i'd make my own separate post and ramble here.

this difference in their height really tracks for how their fighting styles and personalities are like, i feel. i always found it peculiar how different they are despite being twins; i feel like there's a rather stark resemblance between miquella and malenia in their soft-faced features, pale skin, and long flowing hair, and a close resemblance between the carian siblings with their red hair, but morgott and mohg are rather different from each other, only bearing similarities due to their omen nature. i looked a little bit into that and found that there's pretty good reasons behind why.

firstly, morgott is severely malnourished and unhealthy in comparison to mohg. you can see it in his body and how his skin sags, how his ribs and bones show, and how dry it looks. below is a comparison between his hands and mohg's hands.

morgott's hands are dry, almost rubbed red and raw around the knuckles and fingers. it reminds me a little of psoriasis, or some kind of skin discolouration caused by his poor health. it's likely he isn't eating well, or at the very least, he isn't eating as well as mohg. his twin, on the other hand (ha!), has shiny, veiny skin with a healthy colour and gleam to them. it's like he wants to call to attention how well moisturised he is (which, in this case, compared to morgott, he is).

above is a comparison between the twins' horns. the difference is extremely evident to me; morgott's horns are dry, almost seeming brittle, like sun-dried bone that hasn't seen rain or moisture in years. it reminds me of the horns of a very neglected ram, almost, but despite that, the horn growths seem more controlled, less like the wild growths all over the royal omens of the shunning grounds and more controlled as a sort of jutting crown from mainly one side of his head. meanwhile, mohg's horns are shiny, curling wildly to the point of injury, taking his eye in its path of growth. they grew wildly enough to replace his hair altogether, if he ever had any, and give him an even more imposing silhouette with a literal crown of horns (and a beard to boot). beyond this, his horns look healthy, with clearly defined rings to each growth that shine under the light, much like the rest of him. he's oiled leather to morgott's dry hide.

another somewhat interesting detail of morgott is his tail. i know a lot of people see it as soft, and it certainly looks the part, but what i find interesting are two things: the first being that his fur looks quite matted in some lightings and angles but overall looks soft to the touch, and the second being that his tail's horns look much healthier than his own horns on his head. this is in clear contrast to the rest of his body, which looks dry and unassuming with smatterings of coarse white hair up and down his body, and i believe its a matter of the limits to his own self-care. he utilises his tail as another weapon in his arsenal, so he cares for it that it might serve him well in battle, unlike his head of horns, which only serve as a detriment to him with how they must obscure some of his vision, if not most of it. additionally, he likely could bear to look at his tail and care for it, but for an omen that hates his nature more than the average, he probably doesn't enjoy looking at his own face in the mirror enough to properly care for himself.

which brings me back to the sheer differences between these two. morgott, unhealthy and self-loathing, neglects many visual aspects of himself likely because he sees vanity as a luxury not afforded to someone like him. mohg, healthy and self-obsessed, cares and grooms himself to appear very much so like the lord he claims to be, loving himself to a heretical extreme (in the eyes of the golden order). their statures reflect this too; morgott hunches low to the ground, ready to pounce at any given moment but also due to his own shame and humility, while mohg stands tall and proud, though not as tall as he could possibly be due to his upbringing being one of likely having to hunch low to fit beneath the ceilings of the smaller parts of the shunning grounds.

above is a picture of an omen from stormveil, which bears resemblance to all the omen you see in the game. in terms of clothing, one of the big ways people set the omen twins apart, morgott is completely naked save for the ragged cloak of animal hides he wears, signifying he is not fit to even dress himself in a shirt or trousers as befits a king, much like the omen pictured. he wears even less than that, actually, since he lacks even the slightest adornment save for the rope that clasps his cloak together. on the other hand, mohg is entirely adorned in finery, wearing a beautifully embroidered, fashionable priest's robe with matching vestments, and beneath that (as seen in the first image) some underclothes, a plain black button up and some pants. mohg's entire silhouette changes with the removal of his robe, while morgott's barely makes an impact once you realise he has only taken off the one article of clothing he had.

then, of course, there are their fighting styles. there's this fantastic video on youtube that i recommend watching of the twins fighting every major boss in the game, and you can clearly tell them apart from their fighting styles alone. morgott is fast, his size making him look deceptively slow only for him to dart out and do sick flips and somersaults and pirouettes that rival even the most flexible dancers, and he fights with speed and almost animalistic ferocity, save for when he conjures his weapon incantations. mohg is slow but strong, capable of swinging that large trident around like it weighs nothing while hitting with the force to knock down most enemies in a few hits, and most tarnished in just one, but he fights with a steady gracefulness in his every move, walking slowly and carefully while casting spells that hurt a lot.

even their phase 2 transitions are markedly different, with morgott's being one where he drops to his knees, vomits, and releases his cursed blood(?) all over the battlefield, causing his weapon to become alight with his curse and for him to fight with more in-your-face aggression, and with mohg's being one where he simply ignores your attacks and begins stabbing his spear into the formless mother for power at your expense, gaining a majestic set of wings that put distance between you and him so he can cast more of his spells at safer distances. where morgott is pushed to his limit and forced to confront his nature, mohg has long since embraced it and enjoys the fruits of his bloody labour with the mother of truth's blessing.

speaking of the mother of truth, even their patron orders are at odds with each other. the golden order was built upon the foundation of a very carefully-guarded lie: that marika is the one true god, which she can't be, with the existence of radagon (as per goldmask, perhaps the number 1 fundamentalist we meet in game). the formless mother is known also as the mother of truth, existing in direct opposition of the golden order's lies and craving the honesty of one of the purest expressions of life: blood. these two ideals would war against each other, with one being dedicated to the upholding of a beautiful, corrupt lie and the other being dedicated to the instillation of a dynasty of raw, pure truths. as such, even morgott and mohg's own great runes reflect these contrasts in faith, though, remarkably, these two great runes are ones that fit perfectly over each other, with mohg's slightly elevated (seen below, taken from the fextralife wiki).

so, where does this leave us? i don't know, exactly. i wasn't really writing this with any sort of ultimate conclusion. i just found it really interesting how different they were, and i wanted to talk about all the noticeable, significant differences between them here. thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[writingwithcolor]

A Careful Balance: Portraying a Black Character's Relationship with their Hair

@writingraccoon said:

My character is black in a dungeons and dragons-like fantasy world. His name is Kazuki Haile (pronounced hay-lee), and his mother is this world's equivalent of Japanese, which is where his first name is from, while his father is this world's equivalent of Ethiopian, which is where his last name is from. He looks much more like his father, and has hair type 4a. I plan to make his character very finnicky about his hair, both enjoying styling it, but also often being unsure how to style it (not in that he doesn't know how to, but has so many options for how to style it, he has trouble choosing). However, I know that there are some very harmful ways to write black hair, especially in regards to how the black character themselves feels about it. Kazuki does not hate his hair, in fact he takes joy in it, and I'm researching black hair and hair styles to be as accurate as possible. But I'm unsure if portraying a black character as occasionally overwhelmed by or vain about his hair is negative. How would you suggest either changing this or making it work? Does it need to be changed in the first place?

Black Character Overwhelmed by Curly Afro Hair

Your Black character wanting his hair to look its best and at times feeling overwhelmed seems reasonable and natural to me. It appears their challenge comes with how to style it. Not so much with struggling how it looks or how hard it is to manage. That is good, as this further helps avoid placing a strong negative focus on Black hair. 

Him caring a lot about how it is style should not be deemed vain or frivolous, either. In any case, hair care is self care. There’s nothing wrong with having pride with your hair, especially hair that mainstream society, historically and present, might say is not beautiful. This still matters, even in a fantasy world, since your readers still exist in this reality. It’s empowering and a welcome change to see someone who loves their afro hair, actually.

There are unique factors someone with coily afro hair would experience vs. straight, wavy, or looser curls, but people struggling with their hair (too frizzy, too flat, too limp, too thin, too thick!) is universal. 

There is a delicate balance to achieve.

Avoid Writing a Black Hair Journey Experience 

An overall negative Afro hair journey might be the reality for many, especially when society deems Afro hair as unacceptable and slaps so many uninvited opinions, laws and policies over its existence and on certain styles (again, historically and very much at present), but that’s the kind of story that is best handled by someone with the background. Someone willing to commit to the research might also be able to pull it off, although it’s truly not the kind of thing an escapism novel needs in my opinion. If the story is not meant to delve into “A Black /Black Hair Experience” then I'd avoid going that route. That is moving a bit towards a struggle narrative, depending on how much it defines your character’s story.

Add positive and neutral hair language and interactions

For your writing, I’d avoid using unchallenged negative language about his hair. Being overwhelmed at times and frustrated is one thing and expected. If his hair is constantly brought up, and is associated with uncontrollable, ugly, or too [insert struggle here], then rethink the direction you’re going. 

Add some positive or neutral terms, reactions, and interactions in the narrative towards afro hair, such as describing color and texture.

“His fine coils bounced in the wind.” 

“Hair black and shiny” 

“She wore her hair in two large, fluffy buns.”

“He admired his fresh, neat braids in the mirror, smiling at his reflection, before turning to leave.”

Another tip: It may have been for research purposes, but leave out any hair number categorizing in the story and rely on description. I’d say this goes for any story, as reading the number would feel off. 

“He had coily 4a hair.” Nahh! :P 

Also, I would suggest sending all passages that focus on his hair to a Black sensitivity reader for review.

More reading:

~Mod Colette

[mangostarjam]

declarations (alternate version) — kaiju no. 8, hoshina soshiro x f!reader, use of foods as nicknames, childhood best friends dynamic, reader wears a dress and heels, oral (f!receiving), 3k words — the first bit is the same as the original but it does deviate

"Why do I need to wear a dress?"

Hoshina Soshiro glances up from where he's lounging on your bed. You've already pulled on the dress, of course, and he watches with probably way too much interest as you tug and adjust the way it drapes along your body. It's pretty. It fits perfectly, though you have no idea when Soshiro learned your measurements enough to show up at your door with such a gorgeous dress hanging from his fingers. Maybe he got them from Okonogi-chan?

"You'll be walking 'round with me and the Captain, egg tart, so you've gotta look the part," he says idly, though you can feel the burn of his stare along the newly exposed skin of your back. "And don't forget the heels!"

You glance at the cute, strappy heels he left by your mirror and frown. "If I wear those, I'll be taller than you, Soshiro-kun."

"Aw, that doesn't matter," Soshiro says. He sits up and you look away from the flex of his incredibly defined abdominal muscles beneath his compression shirt, which he apparently wears all the time, even under his formal dress uniform with all its tassels and buttons.

God. Embarrassing. You really need to get your staring issue under control.

"I can fight whoever looks at ya."

"Wha— ?" Heat sears across your face as you splutter and spin around to face him. The skirt of your dress twirls with the movement and you catch his gaze snapping down to your thighs. "Why would you need to fight anyone?"

"Hm?" You take a step back as he gets up and stalks over to you, holding your breath subconsciously as he kneels at your feet and takes one of the heels in hand. Your room suddenly feels warmer, the air hushed, as if the two of you are the only ones who exist in the entire universe. Soshiro chuckles quietly and shoots you a grin that makes your knees feel wobbly.

"Soshiro-kun?"

"Well, 'course I'm gonna fight for ya, apricot," Soshiro says. You flinch as he reaches out to grip your calf, the rough callouses on his fingers scraping lightly as he lifts your leg and slides your foot into the shoe. "You're my best friend, yeah?"

And I'm just a simple man in love goes unspoken as he carefully ties the silk around your ankle to keep the shoe in place. You wobble a bit at the balance and he glances up from beneath his violet bangs. "Hold onto my shoulders," he says quietly, reaching for your other leg. "Don't worry, I've got you."

"S-Soshiro-kun, I can put these on myself," you mumble, heat flaring up your spine at the careful pressure of his fingers on your ankle. He lifts your leg and you grab abruptly at his shoulders, fingers digging into the thick muscle there as you regain your footing with his support.

Soshiro lets out a breath. "I know," he says simply. "But I wanna do it."

Is this what men do when they're in love? You wouldn't know — the only man in your life you've ever cared about is right in front of you, and he's refused to elaborate on his strange statement no matter how many times you've asked. You have a feeling he means it, though.

Like, really means it. You love Soshiro — of course you do. You've always loved him. But lately it's felt… different.

Still comfortable. He's still your biggest supporter and vice versa, and he still knows exactly how to cheer you up and make you laugh. You know all his ticks and tells, and you take great pride in taking care of him while he's looking out for everyone else.

But at the same time… it's uncomfortable.

These little touches — they're new. The way his gaze lingers on your body is also new. Or… maybe you've just never noticed before. It's not a bad thing. But it makes you feel strange and fluttery inside and you catch yourself daydreaming about what it'd be like to actually get a hickey from Soshiro. Your best friend.

You stare down at the top of his head and try to repress a shiver as he skims up your legs to where your skirt rests against your thighs. His touch leaves behind a trail of warmth that burrows deep. "Um— ?"

"Ya look real pretty like this," he says. You're still holding onto his shoulders as he rises from his crouch, your entire body hot and hyperaware of how close he's standing once he straightens. "I could really just eat ya up." The smirk on his face makes your heart thump painfully in your chest, but he doesn't give you a chance to question it before he's grabbing your hands and spinning you around in a little twirl.

"S-Soshiro!"

You let out a little yelp as the room suddenly turns sideways, your center of gravity abruptly gone as Soshiro scoops you off your feet with one strong arm behind your back and the other beneath your knees. You throw your arms around his neck in a desperate move to keep from falling, though you know he'd never drop you.

Soshiro looks down at you with a glint in his eye. "Maybe I will."

"You'll… what?" you ask, breathless. He looks… hungry. Something about that look makes your stomach clench. "Soshiro-kun?"

"As your best friend, I think I've gotta do a lil inspection," Soshiro says brightly. He carries you over to your bed effortlessly, laying you down with a care that makes you burn up in a mixture of embarrassment and want.

You want… something. Soshiro gently detangles your hands from behind his neck and brings them up above your shoulders, gripping both wrists in one of his hands. His other hand is planted by your shoulder to keep from squishing you, though he keeps his balance with a knee between your thighs. "What…?"

"Just checking," he murmurs, leaning down to brush his nose against yours. You can feel his breaths on your lips and you strain a little against his hold, wondering if he can feel your pulse beating rabbit-fast in your wrists. His hand is trembling, though you can't imagine it's from the strain of holding himself up. "Can I?"

What… what is he asking?

Does it matter? It's Soshiro —

"Yeah," you breathe. "Go ahead."

His lips brush yours in a whisper, an exhaled sigh, a pressure as light as a butterfly. You make a funny sound and he grins as he skips down to your neck, pressing a firmer kiss there at your pulse.

"You do taste good, chestnut," he mumbles, just before you feel the sharp nip of his canines pinching your skin. You yelp in surprise and he chuckles, brushing his lips across the spot in apology.

"What did I say about food nicknames," you manage to gasp out, blinking blearily as he rises back up to face you. The tops of his ears and the arch of his cheekbones are painted a charming pink, but his eyes are serious as he meets your gaze.

"Are you good?" Soshiro asks.

Are you? You do feel good — better than good. The way your heart is racing would probably raise some eyebrows in a medical ward and your brain feels like mush, but. You've had your share of meaningless crushes — puppy love, infatuation — but none of it ever really mattered because you've always had Soshiro.

None of it ever felt like this.

Oh.

"I'm good," you whisper.

"And this is okay?" he asks. "I'm not — I told ya I don't mess around when it comes to you."

"I'm not messing around either," you grin up at him, feeling suddenly buoyant as the pieces click into place. "I'm yours, Soshiro."

Your best friend looks at you for a moment, but whatever he sees in your expression makes him laugh — a rough burst of sound punched out of his chest — before he leans down to kiss you again.

You can feel him smiling into the kiss.

It's a little awkward — he bumps your nose and you can't keep from grinning, either, so the kiss turns into several kisses, the smooth press of his lips against yours sending heat curling through your veins as his kisses get deeper, hungrier. He tilts his head and finally lets go of your wrists to grasp your chin, moving you to get the angle just right, though his careful intentions go up in smoke when you reach up to tangle your fingers into his hair and tug.

He pulls back with a gasp, eyes wide and pupils blown, panting as if he's just finished fighting off a kaiju. His voice cracks as he murmurs your name.

"Yeah?" you lean up to brush your lips against his jaw, admiring the strain of his neck as he huffs. "You're so pretty, Soshiro-kun."

It takes a second, but Soshiro's next breath is a sharp inhale as he presses his body against yours, pinning you to the mattress.

Then he whines.

Oh, god.

The sound seems to startle both of you, but he recovers first, dipping down to kiss you senseless as the ache in your core intensifies. He's solid and warm and heavy on top of you, his hands burning along your arms and sides and skimming over the neckline of your dress before he seems to settle on gripping your hips as he bullies his way between your thighs. The gasp you let out is loud in the thick air of your room, but the groan he lets out when you squirm against the solid, unyielding length of him is even louder.

Soshiro moves back to pressing hard kisses to your neck and exposed shoulders, panting hard as you whimper with every stinging nip of his teeth. "You're gorgeous," he murmurs, "you're so fucking perfect, I can't —"

"S-Soshiro," you whine, wiggling your hips in an effort to chase the electric sparks of pleasure rising with every sharp, aborted thrust of his hips. "What's — why're you —"

"I'm tryin' not to cum in my pants," he grunts, fingers digging hard into your waist to still you. You sob at the loss of friction and Soshiro huffs. "Fuckin' hell — you're so — but I can't be walking 'round the party all dirty."

Your eyes snap open at the reminder and you shove at the shoulders you were clinging to for dear life a moment ago. "The party!"

"Yeah, the party," Soshiro laughs, grabbing one of your hands. He presses a kiss to the leaping pulse in your wrist. "Didja forget, pumpkin?"

The tender affection somehow makes you warm, even as his hips grind slowly against your core to make you burn. Your legs, which you hadn't even registered moving, drop to the sides, sending your dress to pool further up your thighs and exposing the thin fabric of your panties. Soshiro glances down at the movement, but you can only see the way his lashes flutter at the sight before he's grinding his clothed cock against you again.

A muscle in his sharp jaw ticks as he glances back up at you. "Ya look real good," he says, "and I'm tryin' to do this right, but —"

One thing about being best friends for your whole lives means you can tell when he's holding something back.

One thing about becoming lovers with your best friend is that now you can see he's been holding back from this.

"You can't go into the party like this," you point out. Soshiro laughs, a strangled sound.

"We're not havin' a quickie as our first time," he says firmly. His expression lights up. "But I did promise an inspection, didn't I?"

"What're you — Soshiro!"

He moves too quickly for you to react, pressing another hard kiss to your lips — his tongue dipping in to draw out a startled moan — before he's suddenly kneeling at the edge of the bed, yanking you closer by your legs spread on either side of him. "The heels look nice," he says conversationally, dragging his hands up your calves.

You suddenly feel over-sensitive, your nerve endings straining into his touch as he leans forward to drag his nose along the inside of your thigh. "Ah— Soshiro, that tickles!"

"They make your legs look good," he continues, as if you hadn't spoken. You raise up on your elbows to glare down at him as he brushes his lips featherlight against your thigh. Soshiro smirks and turns his head to nip the skin there, kissing and sucking along your thigh as he slings your leg over his shoulder for easier access.

Oh, shit.

The whine you let out would be embarrassing except that Soshiro mutters a curse and shoots you a look that makes your core clench tight. You reach for his hands, desperate for some leverage or an anchor, and he lets you take one of his hands but uses the other to hike your other leg over his shoulder.

"This is cute," Soshiro remarks, looking intently at your panties and the damp spot clearly evident even in the dim light. "Were they expensive?"

What is he asking? Why would it matter when the only thing you can focus on is the incessant ache in your core, inches away from his touch, heartbreakingly empty and wet and hot —

Soshiro rips your panties with one hand and tosses the flimsy scraps of cloth aside, exposing your fluttering core to his hungry gaze. You shift desperately, torn between wanting and wanting to hide, but before you can voice a request Soshiro dips in and licks you.

"Oh, fuck —" you moan, collapsing back on the bed as your hips buck up into the friction. Soshiro licks at you sloppily, digging his tongue into every inch and fold of you as he groans.

"All this for me?" he murmurs, catching your eye as you clutch desperately at the blankets. "Only for me, right, melon drop?"

You nod shakily as he gently kisses the throbbing bundle of nerves at your core. "I'm yours, Soshiro," you gasp. The waves of pleasure building in your body are frightening, your heart pounding hard, but you can't help tilting your hips closer to him. "Please, Soshiro — I… I can't —"

"Hah — fuck you," Soshiro groans. "Hold on to me."

You barely get a moment to register his command before he dives back in, targeting your clit and sucking on it as you sob with pleasure. White hot electricity races through your veins as you scrabble desperately for something to hold on to, grabbing at the purple strands of his hair and rocking your hips as he devours you.

You feel the burning touch of his finger as he drags it along your lower lips, making you suddenly hyper aware of how empty you feel. Your insides clench futilely, your fingers twisting into his hair painfully as you moan and beg. "Soshiro, Soshiro please —"

You can hear the squelch of your wetness as he finally slides his finger inside you, poking and prodding your walls until he presses against something that makes you see stars. Your back bows off the bed as you pant and squirm.

"There ya go," he grunts, pulling back to fix you with a burning red stare. "Let go for me, honey. I've got you."

You clench around his finger as he adds another, the intrusion unfamiliar but welcome, pleasure spiraling and spiking through you as he flicks his thumb over your clit and presses against that spot just right. It's — it's too much — too overwhelming —

Soshiro sucks your clit between his lips again and you shoot over the edge with a shout.

"Good fucking girl," Soshiro murmurs. You can barely hear him beyond the fuzzy aftershocks, but the words bleed warmth into your face as you melt into the mattress. He carefully licks you clean, chuckling when you whine at the overstimulation.

"Soshiro?"

"Yeah?" He climbs back over you, the lower half of his face shiny with wetness. It should be gross, but you're so boneless you can't even bring yourself to care as he leans down to kiss you, tongue tangling with yours as you moan at the taste of yourself.

"Where'd you… where'd you learn how to do that?" you mumble tiredly.

"In my dreams," Soshiro says, laughing when you pout at him. "I've been dreaming 'bout you for ages, y'know. But most of the technical stuff was from locker talk with the guys."

You nod and glance down, but the angle is awkward and you can't quite see —

"Ah, don't worry 'bout me," Soshiro ducks his head and you stare at the pink flush rising up his neck. "I'm gonna hafta meet you at the ballroom, hazelnut. I need a change of pants."

"Oh," you nod, wide eyed and blushing as he snorts. "Sorry?"

"Don't apologize for bein' a dream come true," he says. "But we should really go soon, or the captain'll have both our heads."

Soshiro helps you stand on wobbly legs as you regain your balance on heels, kneeling to smooth your dress back down your thighs. "Wait — what about my panties?"

He tilts his head thoughtfully. "Right, I'll help ya with that."

Soshiro's touch is warm this time, not burning hot, and the kisses he presses along your thighs are more ticklish than anything. He grins up at you as you giggle. "Will we tell Captain Ashiro after the party tonight?"

He rises and his gaze goes to your neck and shoulders, exposed by the straps of your dress. Something sharp and pleased settles in his smile. "I don't think we'll need to worry 'bout it. Any fool who gets close to ya when you're marked up all pretty for me is askin' for trouble."

… What?

You look past him to the mirror and gasp. All those little bites from earlier are blooming pink and purple beneath your skin. Soshiro laughs, swoops forward to kiss your scolding right out of your mouth, and pulls away only after you've melted back into his arms, pliant and breathless.

"You passed inspection, by the way," Soshiro adds, smiling a little lopsided and fond. "Congratulations on becoming the Third Division Vice Captain's fiancée."

Your eyes widen. "Fiancée?"

"Oh, too soon? We can start off with 'girlfriend' first."

"Soshiro…"

"What? A guy's got dreams, alright?"

You laugh. "You didn't even propose!"

"Alright, fine," he kisses you again and you beam, delight and happiness swooping through you at how easy it all feels. "Keep that third finger on your left hand empty for me, apricot."

"It's a promise."

[leclerckiss]

prince of monaco ౨ৎ

notes: charles leclerc x reader, est. relationship, suggestive content, alcohol, insinuation of nudity (bathing) but no explicit details or sexual activity.

a/n: i wrote this at 11pm & it's a little ridiculous but this is also me projecting my manifestations for him to win his home grand prix this weekend.

The sweet aroma of your Miss Dior: Eau de Parfum in damask rose and incense against pink peonies, clean linen sheets mussed about the inviting embrace of the bed, café au lait from a drained mug on the nightstand beside sweet-smelling lilies, and white, lace stockings abandoned and draped over the velvet loveseat.

Charles' claim of 1st at the Monaco Grand Prix was most blessing, and the perfect excuse for a long night of a plentiful of Moët & Chandon champagne, honorary chants, and celebratory reverie: announcing him the 'prince' of his beloved home, a victory he has been yearning for, since forever.

You had remained with him through the week, watching and admiring through every practice session from your usual seat, enjoying luncheon together and laughing over the usual lovey-dovey or noncommittal subjects as a means to distract him from his nerves before qualifying – the kind of thing he doesn't admit to but you know is only human – and your never-leaving gaze throughout the Grand Prix itself.

Until you got to watch from below with love hearts in your eyes when he stood on that podium, in his true and most divine stature whilst the crowds called for him and the Monégasque anthem resonated like the music of the heavens.

Now, it is quiet in the apartment you both call home, all minimalist but comfortable interior in a palette of white, créme, beige and hints of colour against the décor that define it as yours: the polished trophies before the white-varnished piano, heavy and velvet curtains stirring lazily about closed balconies of their rocaille-esque motifs, the abandoned sweater forgotten on the sofa, your rose crocheting yarn on the coffee table beside a copy of last month's Vogue.

Peaceful and content, stood before the ornate mirror in the en-suite of polished marble and quiet luxury, humming some gentle and absent tune to yourself as you comb your hair – dressed down to the comfortable, white gossamer silk of your négligée – whilst the only tune that resounds being the hushed television down the hall.

It is only a minute later that you are interrupted from your daydreaming by the sound of the mahogany front door as it draws open and closed. The familiar clink of keys set down on the oak furniture in the foyer, shuffled footfalls a little less balanced than usual, quickly silenced against the sound of a familiar voice like melting caramel on the subtle, slurring song of inebriation.

"Chérie?"

Hair comb set down on the neat counter beside the porcelain embellished basin, you absently gnaw at your lower-lip whilst silent feet wander the parquestry of the flooring through the flat in your approach to the source of your boyfriend's return, tucking a hair behind your ear, "Charles, I'm–"

The words are lost on the edge of your tongue the second you emerge from the bedroom's suite, down past the plush sitting area to be met by the sight of him where the corridor joins the rest of the homely setting.

"Bonsoir, bébé."

Even when he is slightly hair-tousled with damp, brunet strays falling about his forehead and the linen of his shirt slightly wrinkled, Charles is a handsome man, devastatingly so; the kind of beautiful that renders the air from your lungs a little even when you hold back light laughter at him now.

From his posture, an effort of an elegant curve to his physique like he is trying to be some suave, pretty flirt from those old, romance comedies you watch, where one elbow is propped against the wood arch of the threshold – the only thing evidently holding him upright – whilst his flushed cheeks strain a little on a dimpled, lazy and contagious smile.

"Hello, Charles."

"Ma belle, I missed you, I'm home," With something close to a brief pout and an attempt at a wink, the man lets his lovely eyes dance down and along your own figure in a lingering admiration and a slow, drawn-out smirk that looks both laughable and far-too-endearing, lithe fingers absently adjusting his loosened shirt collar as you come closer.

"I can see that," In response, you try not to appear amused though it is perceptible on the curve by the corner of your sweet mouth when his eyes follow the subtle shift of your hips as you draw forward until your arms fold around his midriff, breathing him in: champagne and cologne, hints of warm amber and rosewood. "You're drunk."

His arm falls around your shoulder comfortably as he sways against you, kissing the crown of your head like a useless reassurance when he murmurs a lieu of words in the thickened curl of his accent, "Non, ça va, je–"

"Charles." Your face shifts with a look, the both of you stumbling a little backwards where his weight almost has you falling on the edge of a floral rug, a hushed, noncommittal sound close to a chuckle falling from the man as he buries his face into the side of your neck with the punctuation of an open-mouth kiss.

"D'accord, d'accord."

"Stupid," You mutter affectionately, rolling your eyes fondly despite knowing all too well what has him so distracted, the warmth of his mouth and the gentle rasp of his five o'clock shadow tickling the underside of your jaw and the sensitivity there, a purr reverberating from the back of his throat as a response.

"Are you hungry– would you like anything?"

"Just you, chérie, I want to..." The Monégasque trails off momentarily like he is disputing internally with his own dialogue, lightly calloused palms feeling the curve of your waist through pale silk before pausing at your derrière absently – tracing his tongue against the edge of pearlescent teeth – as the two of you move further through the sitting room, his voice a whisper, "Je veux te baiser, mon ange."

With a blush dusting the edges of your cheekbones at the obscène words, you offer a half-apologetic smile whilst stroking back his tousled hair, "How about we get dressed down and settled first, at least?"

Initially, he seems reluctant to offer any hint of acquiescence but he eventually nods a little with a vague sound of acknowledgement, fingertips still feeling over your figure as you walk the path together before reaching the bathroom, the door falling shut gently.

Even when the reality of the presence has you accepting tonight shall be long, the man is undoubtedly his most entertaining and equally sweet as romanticised prophecies when he is intoxicated.

"Mm," It is the only indication you are given when Charles' touch falls upon the lace edges of your négligée, drawing it down the curve of your shoulder slowly as he traces the shell of your ear with his mouth, "You're wearing my favourite."

A soft laugh leaves the depth of your chest – a hushed affirmative sound in reply – before his hands come to cradle either side of your jaw tenderly whilst his thumb caresses the apple of your cheek, the kiss that follows his gentle persuasion more loving, his lips parted softly.

Just as quickly as the almost peaceful, drawn-out intimacy begins, it ends when he gives some hushed, breathless sound of sheer enjoyment whilst his hips absently meets yours until you feel the edge of the basin behind, a palm splaying over his chest just enough to encourage him from pausing.

"We can have a nice bath first and then I might consider your suggestion, monsieur," You offer gently in hushed humour, undoing the remaining buttons of his shirt whilst sealing your sentence with a chaste kiss near his chin.

"I'd much rather have you."

"So romantic," Muttering the words quietly, your nose brushes the bridge of his own fractionally where you see the slight glaze of liquor in his eyes, like gentle moss and warm oak, his mouth shifting almost proudly with momentarily met gazes.

"Only for you, mon cœur, I could write you sonnets of love, la mélodie de tes yeux–"

"Okay, Romeo Montague, how about you wash first?"

The initial hope had only been to coax him into the warmth of the bath waters amongst a touch lavender oil that threatens to lull him further into quiet and peace, wash his hair from your seat and prevent the possibility of any difficulty, though clothes are mutually forgotten on the marble floors and small, white-cotton rug when he guilts you into joining him.

"Charles," A whisper of his name though the cadence of your voice lacks the intent of reproach, bodies close together as he guides you into a comfortable situation about his lap whilst you work nimble fingers through his dampened hair slowly, hoping to distract him from anything but washing and settling down from the dizziness of too much alcohol.

"You smell nice," He mumbles indulgently against your shoulder, tracing a kiss on the jut of your collarbone in the dreamy lull of his voice as though lost in the figments of his own thoughts, "Like les fleurs..."

"And you smell like a bottle of Moët."

The man offers a lowered tune of disagreement, a palm idly stroking the curve of your thigh and down the inside of your knee beneath the warm water as you lather the product through his tresses, holding back a smile when he responds drunkenly like some smitten, hopeless lover of the poets:

"Non, c'est seulement le parfum des nuages."

It is the kind of sweet words that would usually have your cheeks warming or laughing like some conjured image of him in your mind, rifling through books of poetry because you cannot fathom him thinking of such phrases alone, though the moment his lips find the curve of your throat and the sensitive area beneath your jaw, it is harder not to succumb to the gentle temptation and let him have his way, a sigh falling from you.

"What are you doing?"

"Loving you." He says the words so easily, like it is the simplest, most natural truth he could ever admit, the warmth and wetness of his mouth trailing the lines of your throat and across the arch of your shoulders.

"You're ridiculous."

"Ridiculously in love with you," He sounds proud of himself. Then, he is guiding the two of you, bodies pressed flush against one another as you are moved back, the weight of him familiar and the pressure of his mouth meeting yours slowly, "Let me love you, s'il vous plaît, ma chérie."

There are the smallest fragments of his soul and the secrets of his heart within the way his body moves, the gentle touch and the softness, the vulnerability and the passion even in the humour of his intoxicated mannerisms; how he makes love and the manner he holds you after, and there is an undeniable and irrefutable trust you hold for him alone.

[runninriot]

Wiggly 🧠🪱 Wednesday

thank you @just-my-latest-hyperfixation for the tag! 🖤

today's brain worms are brought to you by one of the steddie smutty september prompts 😏

i'm thinking about Eddie who lost a bet to his boyfriend and is now getting ready to pay up. Or at least he's trying to. Because he's still not sure he can really pull it off.

He keeps turning from left to right, sceptically looking at his reflection in the mirror.

God, he looks ridiculous, doesn't he. This stuff isn't made for him. It's for people with less boney asses. People with more meat on them and with defined muscles they can show off. Pretty people, whose perfect bodies would shine covered in black lace.

Eddie just looks... wrong. Like he's trying to be something he's not.

The dainty floral pattern is a harsh contrast to the crooked lines adorning his skin - too soft, too delicate, enhancing all his little flaws and blemishes rather than fulfilling the purpose of making him feel good. That's why people usually choose to wear these things, right? To feel hot and pretty and confident.

Well. He definitely doesn't.

At least Steve will get a good laugh out if it. That's probably why he thought of the punishment in the first place. Not necessarily to make fun of Eddie, he's not that mean. But- whatever.

A bet is a bet, and he lost, so he'll suck it up and get it over with.

He's got a one-man-crowd waiting for him in the bedroom and the sooner he gets what he wants, the sooner Eddie can get out of this fucking lingerie.

Meanwhile, Steve's buzzing with anticipation. He's been sitting on the bed for what feels like hours, waiting for Eddie to finally come out of the bathroom.

He's been dreaming about this forever, literally. It's a secret fantasy he's had ever since Eddie and him started dating, since they started exploring each other's bodies in the most intimate ways.

To see Eddie's perfect body covered in lacy lingerie, to let his fingers dance over the soft fabric, gently caressing what's underneath, mouthing at his cock through his panties just to tease, just rile him up - God, what a vision. What a thought. And soon, so soon, it'll become reality.

Steve's hard just from imagining it. Can barely keep his hands to himself at the dirty thoughts looping in his mind.

He needs to see it. Needs Eddie to come out right now or he'll combust.

And then, finally, Eddie does. Slowly opens the bedroom door before he hesitantly steps in. And he's even more beautiful than Steve could ever have imagined.

Standing there, all shy and pretty, with his cheeks tinted pink and his arms crossed before his chest, looking so... so perfect.

   "Fuck," is all Steve can get out. Too stunned, too lost in the vision his boyfriend is.

    "It's okay, Steve. You can laugh. I know I look stupid."

Suddenly, Steve notices that what he thought was Eddie just being a bit shy is actually him being uncomfortable. That the way he tries to hide his body behind his own arms is not him acting coy, it's him being ashamed.

    Oh, hell no.

That just won't do. That's not at all what Steve had intended.

Luckily, he knows just how to turn this around.

(i'll stop right here before it gets even more out of hand 😅 to be continued)

no pressure, all love @novemberthorne @morningberriesao3 @pennyplainknits @steddieas-shegoes @matchingbatbites

@ataliagold @wynnyfryd @queenie-ofthe-void @stevesbipanic @steddiecameraroll

[thefatedthoughtofyou]

In Which Steve Gains a Little Weight and Eddie May or May Not Have a Staring Problem { hint: he absolutely does. but who wouldn't? }

Chubby!Steve lovers rise up! He is a blessing upon our houses. 😌

Eddie's been staring at him. For months. Steve had actually had to snap his fingers at Eddie once, right in front of his face. To get his attention. And Eddie had flinched and flailed back dramatically, making it seem like Steve was the offending party when Eddie had been the one staring. He was always staring.

Steve never used to mind people staring. He knew he looked good. Not in a self centered way. Just... people told him he looked good. And he didn't really have reason to argue. Girls definitely liked him. So it just seemed... like a fact. To him.

But lately Steve hadn't been feeling attractive. At least not as attractive. He'd gained a bit of weight. With the gates closed for good and Hawkins back to normal. He'd finally let himself relax. And he'd been eating more, his appetite from before all the anxiety and stress and fighting for his life, and the kids lives, finally coming back.

He still swam a bit. Went for runs every morning. But he was filling out. His thighs were thicker. His stomach softer. He'd heard his mother call one of his cousins "pudgy" when he was young and now everytime he looked in the mirror the word rang in his head like a bell.

He was pudgy. Less defined, soft around the edges. And Eddie kept. Fucking. Staring.

~°~

Steve was laying on one of the lounge chairs by the pool. Eddie was floating in the water, eyes closed, arms moving gently at his sides, keeping him afloat. Steve tugged his shirt down, again, and tried to get comfortable.

It was just him and Eddie today. Robin had to work. And the kids were in school. Steve was just glad Eddie had gotten in the water. So he would stop looking at him. Cuz he'd been doing it again. His eyes locked on Steve, roaming over him, looking at god knows what.

Steve knows what. Wraps his arms around his middle and feels what he knows Eddie has been staring at. Skinny as a rat Eddie Munson who can eat whole fucking pizzas and just... nothing. Steve ate whole pizzas too, that wasn't the issue. It was just, Steve's pizza seemed to settle on his hips now more than it used too.

He hears Eddie make a choking sound and watches him flail and sink beneath the water, popping up a moment later, coughing, and dragging Steve out of his thoughts.

"You good man?" Steve calls, letting his hands fall away from his body. Eddie keeps coughing but gives Steve a thumbs up, then wipes at his face, rubbing at his nose as he stands looking like a wet kitten in the middle of the pool. He clears his throat loudly, shakes his head, coughs once more, and then ducks back under water just to bounce back up, his face toward the sky, the water moving his hair out of his face.

Steve had walked to the edge of the pool, watching Eddie cough. He sits himself on the edge, feet dangling in the water to cool himself off. He could take his shirt off. It would be cooler. But he can't. Doesn't want to. Not in front of Eddie.

He watches Eddie lower himself shoulders deep in the water and then look up at Steve, he smiles, soflty.

"I fell asleep." He says, to belatedly explain his nearly chocking to death. Steve rolls his eyes, snorts, and shakes his head.

"Of course you did." Steve sighs.

"Hey it's not my fault. If you had some nice floaties around here like the goblins have been asking for I wouldn't have almost died." Eddie retorts.

And Steve is about to argue, he wants too, opens his mouth to do it and everything. But he catches the way Eddie is looking at him again and the words die in his mouth. His arms wrapping around his soft middle as he tries to hide, he sits up a bit straighter. Eddie swims toward him, eyes lingering.

"You gonna swim?" Eddie asks, soflty.

"Naw. Don't think so. I'm not that warm." Steve shrugs, kicks his feet in the water a bit as Eddie moves closer.

"You're sweating." Eddie says, pointing out the obvious. Steve glares at him a bit, nothing too harsh, and wipes at his forhead with the back of his arm.

"I'm good. Just my feet in is nice." He kicks water at Eddie, he doesn't even dodge it, just lets it hit him as he keeps swimming forward.

He nods at Steve, swims up next to him, rests his arms on the side of the pool and his chin on his arms, looking up at Steve until Steve turns and looks directly at him. Eddie quickly looks away then. Steve looks away too.

Looks away from the pale skin of Eddie's shoulders. Away from the way Eddie's arms flex as he shifts a bit to get more comfortable. Away from that look in his eyes.

"Do I make you uncomfortable?" Eddie asks out of nowhere.

"What?" Steve asks, leaning away from Eddie a little faster than he'd meant too. Eddie tracks the movement, Steve sees him do it.

"Do I make you uncomfortable?" Eddie repeats.

"No I heard you. It's just-" he pauses, shakes his head. His heart beating a little faster.

"Why would you ask that? You don't make me uncomfortable. I like having you here. If that's... is that what you mean?" Steve asks, stammering a bit. Not really sure what Eddie wants from him. Eddie shakes his head though, slowly. Once.

"No I mean... you've just seemed... different. Lately. Like... you're trying to sink into yourself. Make yourself smaller. Or something." Eddie shrugs, shakes his head like he doesn't think he made sense. But Steve's heart pounds with just how much sense he made. Hit the nail right on the head, actually, in the scary way he has.

"I-" he considers lying. Saying everything's fine. But it's not. And if he says it is, Eddie will think he's done something wrong. And he hasn't. Not really. Eddie's eyes widen, he lifts his head, then stands, leans his hip agaisnt the wall of the pool instead.

"Yes?" Eddie teases, bumping Steve's knee with the back of his hand. Steve huffs a laugh and takes a deep breath.

"I am. Trying to make myself smaller. Like, in the figurative sense. Cuz I'm like, I've gained weight. And I don't... I don't know. I guess I'm just... uncomfortable with that? Not because of you." Steve says, watches Eddie smile at him. For some fucking reason.

"Literal sense. And why does that make you uncomfortable? Not getting as many chicks? Are the ladies of Hawkins really so shallow?" Eddie asks, brushing past his correction and partly mocking Steve, like he knows that's not the issue. And Steve is so thankful, just that small amount of mocking makes him feel a little better. Like he's being silly maybe, about the whole thing.

"Well. Yes. They are. Some of them. But I don't know. It was just a thing. At first. A thing I noticed in the mirror getting out of the shower. Or after swimming. Or trying to fit into some of my old jeans. Just a thing. Just a difference I noticed is all." He shrugs, eyes on the water.

"You're not the only one." Eddie mutters, teeth pulling at his bottom lip.

"What?" Steve asks, he hadn't been paying attention, the words a muddy sound on the peripherals of his hearing. Eddie shakes his head, waves him off.

"Nothin. Don't worry about it." He pushes his hand through the water at his side before looking back to Steve.

"Bodies change man. It happens. Nothin' wrong with it." He shrugs again, lowers himself back to his shoulders and looks up at Steve, his hair a dark cloud in the water around him. Steve sighs, feels silly and stupid for what he's about to say.

"Yeah. Sure. But I used to be hot." He says, matter of factly. Eddie snorts.

"You are hot. Way hotter now than when we were in school." Eddie says, like he can't believe what he's hearing, but also.... Eddie thinks he's hot? Steve watches him for a moment, he's got his face tilted to the sky, leaning back to dunk his hair in the cool water, his pale neck on display as he sighs at the cooless on his head.

"You think I'm hot?" Steve asks, has to, can't not. He'd said it so easily, like it should be obvious.

Eddie's eyes go wide as his head snaps back in Steve's direction.

"What?" His voice cracks. He hasn't blinked.

"You said you think I'm hot." Steve says, he can feel his own cheeks flush. But he can see Eddie's doing it. They had already been tinted pink from the early morning sun, but they were rushing quickly toward red.

"No. I didn't- that's not-"

"You said you thought I was hot when we were in school." Steve repeats, feeling a tad bit giddy as he watches the flush rush down Eddie's neck as well.

"That's- that's not... what I meant." Eddie huffs, petulant, but he crosses his arms over his chest, guarding himself.

"But it's what you said." Steve teases, keeping his face as straight as possible. Eddie huffs again.

"Well I clearly didn't mean to say that outloud okay?" He shakes his head, sinks a little in the water before bobbing back up. Steve just looks at him. Tries to give him the look that Eddie had been giving him, for the last few months.

He doesn't know if it works. But Eddie groans loudly and ducks under the water. Steve laughs as a stream of bubbles reach the surfface, he can hear Eddie screaming under the water. When he surfaces again, his face is still a very nice shade of pink, Steve wants to touch it, to feel the heat of it beneath his fingers.

"I'm sorry okay. I have been making you uncomfortable. I've been staring. I know I have, okay? It's just hard not too. When you walk around looking like that!" Eddie waves his hand frantically in Steve's direction, even as he takes a few steps away from him.

"Like what?" Steve's brow furrows, he looks down at himself, his shirt is a little tight around his stomach, his swim trunks a bit snug around the hips, and his thighs are practically squeezed into them. What was Eddie seeing that he wasn't. He looks back to see Eddie staring again, but his eyes are on Steve's face this time.

Steve watches several emotions pass over Eddie's face as he watches him. He seems to settle on determined and takes a step back in Steve's direction. Then another. He stops just out of reach. Sets his shoulders.

"You're fucking beautiful Steve. I don't- I don't know how you can't see that." He shrugs, like he's helpless, his eyes wide and honest. Steve swallows hard, glances down at himself again and then back to Eddie.

"I'm-?"

"Gorgeous. Like.... fucking ethereal. I could fucking look you all day. Fuck, I mean I basically do. You're like a goddamn peice of art." Eddie's voice is so raw, it catches in his throat. His arms wrapped around himself tight, like he's afraid Steve will be mad at him for some reason. Steve shakes his head, once, trying not to cry. He smiles at Eddie, all watery eyed and goofy, and tugs his shirt over his head before throwing himself into the water. And then throwing himself at Eddie, who catches him easily.

His hands are warm on Steve's sides, warm and so so gentle, like he's not sure he's allowed to touch. He just stares at Steve, throat bobbing as Steve moves his fingers over Eddie faces, tracing his features.

"You're pretty easy on the eyes yourself." Steve says, smiles wide when a laugh bursts out of Eddie. Steve presses closer, chest to chest, arms snaking around Eddie's neck, fingers tangling in his hair.

"Can I kiss you?" Eddie whispers, his lashes fluttering as his eyes dart around Steve's face. Steve's chest burns, and pounds, as Eddie's fingers press harder into his hips.

"Yes. Yeah." Steve breathes, nodding, almost frantic. Eddie smiles, leans in a bit, and then sways away with a grimace.

"What? What's wrong?" Steve asks, suddenly feeling a bit sick to his stomach. Eddie squints at him, shakes his head, closes his eyes with another grimace.

"Full disclosure. I've never actually...like... fully kissed someone... before. So I might not- I mean I don't know what I'm doing." Eddie opens one eye, peaking at Steve to see his reaction around his wincing, scrunched up features. Steve's heart flutters, he smiles and scratches his nails gently against Eddie's scalp, Eddie leans into it like a cat.

"That's okay. I know what I'm doing." Steve assures him, Eddie's eyes go wide for a split second and then Steve is kissing him. A small noise startles out of Eddie when their lips meet and Steve could listen to that all day, it's like music. He pulls back after a genlte press, he can feel Eddie's hands trembling against his hips.

"That okay?" Steve asks, Eddie nods enthusiastically and presses back in, another gentle press of lips before Steve pulls back again, eyes moving over Eddie's face and the soft way he's looking at him.

"You really think I'm beautiful? Hot. Like this?" Steve asks, rolling his eyes at himself, his hand moving to his stomach and then away again. Eddie's eyes follow the movement, the way Steve nearly flinches away from his own touch.

"Fuck yes." Eddie says, he sounds breathless. And then Steve is gasping as Eddie leans down, licks a hot stipe across Steve's stomach, and then sinks his teeth into the soft, fleshy, skin of his hip, right above his swim shorts.

"Eddie! Jesus!" Steve squaks, trying to push Eddie away and pull him closer all at once.

Eddie perks back up, pulls Steve close, and presses his laughter into Steve's neck. And then his teeth are on Steve's skin, and he's gasping again, hands grabbing at Eddie's shoulders. Eddie's tongue soothes over the bite and then he's looking at Steve again.

"You're beautiful. Like this, or any other way. Okay? Always." Eddie says, moving his hands over Steve's sides, giving his love handles a hard, possessive, squeeze. Steve laughs, Eddie's antics tickling, he squirms, toward Eddie, into his waiting arms.

"Okay. If you say so." Steve sighs into Eddie's shoulder. Eddie's hand moves up, over Steve's back and into his hair.

"I do say. You're beautiful. Thin, or chubby, or scarred, or fat, or whatever else you might be in the future. You're beautiful." He pauses, pulls back so he can see Steve's face.

"And I'll tell you that whenever you need to hear it okay? For as long you're mine." Eddie's whispering, speaking so softly into the space between them.

"That sounds nice." Steve says, his throat tight, and burning, tears clouding his vision. Eddie chuckles, his chest vibrating against Steve's.

"Which part?" He asks, moving one finger across Steve's forhead, tucking a loose strand of hair away. Steve sniffles, shakes his head and tries not to cry.

"Being yours." He says, his lips trembling as he returns the bright smile across from him. Eddie nods, Steve nods back. They meet in the middle, another sweet press of lips, Eddie's fingers dig into Steve's soft skin and pull him close, like he's trying to climb inside him.

"Mine." Eddie sighs, Steve breathes the word in like he needs it to live. His own fingers dig into Eddie's back, tugging him closer, smiling against Eddie's lips as he sighs,

"Yours." back into Eddie's mouth.

[makingqueerhistory]

Queer instincts are sacred. While there is obviously worth in proving and finding definites, there is also value in connecting history with intuition. It might not bring certainty, but it can bring connection, and that connection is worth something. History isn't a mirror, but you can find resonance there, and that resonance is important even if it is just for you and has no rippling implications.

Your connection and reflection in history do not need to be provable to be felt. Just because someone might not have the same set of identities as you do, that doesn't mean you cannot relate to their understanding of themself. Queerness is not about easily defined boundaries, and queer history reflects that. You may never find your exact set of identities in someone else from the past, but you also may find yourself relating to someone unexpectedly if you let go of the academic need to validate and find proof for these emotions. Sometimes, feelings are just feelings, and they need no more basis than that. You may not be able to claim a person as queer, but your queer heart can still connect to them.

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

If it's not a spoiler, what would you say is WD!Rose's biggest weakness/flaw?

I would hope that her biggest flaws haven't really changed from the original show. It's not like she acquired some new ones just because Steven's there. At her core, her motivations and fears are still the same.

Largely, it's her self-hatred and self-doubt.

Rose Quartz has always been defined by her dislike of herself. It's in the lyrics of the end song. It's practically telegraphed at every episode she shows up in.

Rose Quartz popped out of the ground, was immediately defined by who she was (supposed to be) and then was pretty much immediately reprimanded by the other diamonds for acting out in any way that didn't fit their 'standards'.

Then she went to Earth, realized their standards were shite, and tried desperately to become someone else - while never believing that she could ACTUALLY change and grow to be someone new. To the very end, she thought that she was fooling the others, even as she tried to protect them.

Her entire arc is about desperately trying to be herself, and failing at every step of the way because she fundamentally doesn't believe she's capable of change. She looks in the mirror and she sees in past tense.

Rose, here, is faced with something she has been running after her whole life:

Living proof of how a Diamond could be Not A Diamond in a way that isn't deceiving anyone. In a way that is purely, entirely, fundamentally, changing who they are.

Rose adores Steven at this point in the story, as much as she is terrified of him and all he represents.

His ability to forget who he is supposed to be.

His potential for change, and growth beyond his programming.

And the looming threat of that all being just another lie, or a temporary fix that will shatter her hopes of ever becoming like him.

Of course... she doesn't know about his dreams, nor his internal struggles. But that's gonna be its own story. :)

[bigification]

Careful What You Wish For

I lay the cheap looking lamp on my bathroom counter as I get ready for a bath. I can't believe I caved and bought it, it's obviously a scam. This stupid lamp isn't gonna grant any wishes, that old man just got some free cash out of me. It doesn't matter, I'll just take a relaxing bath and throw on some Netflix later.

I get undressed and run some hot water into the bath. Some scented candles set the mood for relaxation, and I throw on some music. I dip myself into the warm water, and lay back.

My relaxation doesn't last long however, as a rumbling catches my attention. It's the lamp. It's vibrating with enough force that I can feel it from across the bathroom. Suddenly a purple smoke emerges from the lamp.

"I may grant you one wish." A soft whisper echoes out of the smoke.

What the actual fuck. This isn't possible. Did that guy drug me? Maybe I should just say a wish to see if it's true.

"I wish to be a more mature looking guy who likes sports." I blurt out. I've always hated how much I look like a teenager despite being a full blown adult, so this could fix that. Also I wouldn't mind being a fit guy who likes sports, it wouldn't hurt.

The moment I say it, the smoke starts to travel towards me. All the smoke spirals into my mouth and nose. I should be scared, but it kinda feels nice. A warm feeling sprouts in the core of my body, making me feel relaxed again.

As the smoke fills my body, I feel my muscles twitching. It must be true, my body is changing. My twig like arms thicken, with bulging biceps and defined forearms. My soft hands grow twice as big and fill with rough callouses. My chest puffs out into two juicy pecs and my stomach flattens into a cut six pack. My thighs thicken as I feel my ass plump up. Even my feet look like they've grown a few sizes. I also have to start bending my legs, as Ive become too tall for the bath tub I'm sitting in.

I look at my reflection in the water and see a handsome man in his late twenties. Holy shit, I'm hot! I've got a chiselled jawline with a dark beard covering it. All my features seem more angular, more manly. As I'm observing my reflection, I notice a pelt of dark hair grow all over my body. My chest, my arms, my legs, everywhere is dusted in a coat of hair.

This is everything I wanted. Even the sports. Memories of playing sports all throughout school flood my mind. I especially liked soccer, though I also really liked weight lifting. More memories of my extensive sex life flood my mind, people are almost hypnotised by my good looks.

Just as I'm reminiscing about my past, I remember I should be working out right now. I can't skimp out on my workout routine. I go to get out of the bath and notice I've got my underwear on. Huh, I must have forgotten to take it off before getting in the bath.

As I'm stepping out of the bath, something feels wrong. A warm feeling once again fills my core. I look down and see my six pack fade under a belly of fat. It continues growing until it sags over my underwear. My pecs swell into a pair of man tits, though they still have a solid base of muscle. My arms double in size, though with a soft layer of fat now covering the muscles. My hands thicken until they look like stuffed sausages, as more rough features cover them.

I feel my underwear tighten around my waist as my ass fattens. My thighs thicken until there is no gap between them, and my feet grow many sizes. I even feel my perspective shift higher, as my height increases.

The dark hairs on my body fade to an almost white colour as the hair thickens around my body. As I'm looking down at my body, I notice hair on my head fall to the ground. I look in horror at my reflection in the mirror, I have to duck just to fully see my face. My hairline recedes all the way to the back of my head, leaving me practically bald. My once sharp facial features have softened under a layer of fat. And a double chin has formed under my beard. I look so old.

Though the more I stare at my body, the more familiar it becomes. Memories flood into my mind of my career in soccer. I was a high level player, and a popular one at that. But you age out of professional soccer in your late thirties. I started focusing more on the weight lifting and less on the cardio. There was only so long I could keep that six pack, and turning 50 certainly didn't help with that. I don't mind it though, it makes me feel more manly. And it makes the team I coach more afraid of me.

I snap out of my trance. I grab a towel and start to dry off. Damn I forgot to take off my underwear again, I should get rid of this one anyway, it doesn't fit me anymore. I duck and look at myself in the mirror.

"Lookin good coach." I say as I smile at myself.

I turn to the other side of the bathroom and step on my scale. It reads '350'.

"Damn, I've really let go of myself, huh." I say as I jiggle my gut.

I also measure my height, it reads 6"6. I should have gone into volleyball with the build I had.

I dry off and leave the bathroom. I grab a family sized bag of chips and lay my fat ass down on the couch. I open the tv and it's already on the world cup. I really wouldn't want it any other way.

[izzabela]

Show You My Impurities - Lin Kuei x fem!chubby-curvy!reader (scenario fic)

in which different scenarios show how the brothers react with you being insecure in a flattering dress

a/n: i know i updated my rules, but i'm gonna pump this and another req i got privately. from now on, though, do not send me requests in my DMs when reqs are closed

ship[s]: tomas, kuai liang & bi han x fem!chubby!reader (scenario)

warning(s): smidge of angst, body insecurity, suggestive endings, non-kanon

guys ignore the text on this gif, but also don't because it's lowkey hilarious

=====================

Bi Han

As Bi Han sits outside of the private dressing room of the shop you two were in, you stood in front of the mirror dejected and down.

You and Bi Han were out shopping after you realized some of your clothes didn't fit anymore. While Bi Han didn't see anything wrong with it, your heart sank as thoughts of yourself flooded your mind.

You were naturally a bigger girl. Beautifully large thighs, natural hips, a just a bit of a cute pudge on your belly, you were a bit bigger than the other girls. While you had the support of Bi Han (the fucking grandmaster), it didn't stop people or your mind from talking bad about you.

Back in front of the mirror, you sigh as you pull on the part of the fabric that hugged your waist a little too tight. It rolled over your natural curves and made you self-conscious.

You were drawn out of your thoughts with a light knock on your dressing room door.

"Madam? The grandmaster would like to see you now," the fitting room attendant announces behind the door.

You sigh once more, "I'll be out soon. Thank you."

Your flats drag with the unbearable weight of your thoughts as you walk out to see Bi Han on the circular couch in the foyer of the fitting room. He's reading a book, but the quickest glimpse at you and you're the only thing in his eyes.

"Àiren," Bi Han breathes as he gets up to see you in the dress.

Your smile is unstable and wobbly, and the matching wave doesn't help as it solidifies how the dress makes you feel. You try to stop picking at the fabric hugging your body, but the habit persists.

"I'm not sure this is the right dress," you say timidly. "It shows... too much."

Bi Han sets the book down, closing it without its bookmark, and meets you near the mirror.

"And why, àiren, do you think that?" Bi Han treads carefully, hands resting right above your love handles.

The wobble in your smile turns into a frown as hidden tears streak down delicately. You breathe a shuddery breath as you pull away from him and look into the mirror.

"Look at me!" you cry as you pull the fabric again. "It's hugging all the wrong spots, it's too tight, unflattering, and awful on a woman like me!"

Forgive Bi Han, dear reader, as everything you were telling him dissolved into nothing but dust as he looked you up and down over and over again.

All he could see was the beautiful woman he was dating. How that softness of your legs was highlighted with the dress, your little bum beautiful and round, and your breasts pushed together due to the technology in the dress allowing to support a woman's breasts without the need of a bra.

Where you saw impurities, he saw defining characteristics, features that were unique to only you.

And as the grandmaster to a large organization, unique strengths were something he could identify within a heartbeat.

Bi Han's semi-PG thoughts were interrupted as you sniffled and wiped your tears in front of the mirror. He coos as he hugs you from behind, large arms snaking around your soft waist and over your belly.

"Àiren," Bi Han starts. "You are lovely."

You've heard such words from family and friends before, hell even from Bi Han from time to time. This time, though, it felt like you experienced real life superpowers.

You smile weakly, but it's genuine as Bi Han peppers kisses on your neck and the dip of your shoulder. You giggle softly as his hands find yours and link up with them, and you can feel his hands use yours as he roams your body.

Every part of your body he goes over, you gain a new appreciation for all of your curves, the lovely lady lumps of yours, and the overall softness of your figure.

"Feel better, àiren?" Bi Han asks, hands finding a new spot dangerously close to your bum.

You give a hearty laugh, and the friction between you and Bi Han's trousers causes a certain something to poke at your behind. You turn behind you and meet his eyes with a knowing look.

"Really darling?" you tease. Bi Han just chuckles as he presses your bum on him harder.

"I hope to show you another way to appreciate yourself as well," he says quietly, kissing up your neck as he guides you back into your stall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tomas

You drop your shopping bags on the floor of yours and Tomas's shared room. He was out today, training the initiates with his brothers. Your friends hit you up via letter to go shopping, and after looking through your wardrobe, it was time to acquire new garments.

Your old clothes were already pretty big considering you were a bigger and curvier girl, and while it was normal for anybody to gain weight, you felt different about it.

Your hips had grown wider, thighs larger, and waist just a bit bigger than before. You felt different, and not in a good way.

After your shopping spree with your friends, you come back home with all the new shirts, skirts, pants, and most importantly, dresses. Trying each one of them on, you couldn't help but tug on the ends of the fabric.

A habit you had, plus a bit of a scratching problem when you got nervous. But when Tomas was here, all of these issues were like it never existed.

Except he wasn't here right now. Your only other weapon against your mind was preoccupied, and you were losing the battle.

After trying on new trousers for meetings, leggings for training, and shirts for all sorts of occasions, dresses were the last clothes to cover. By the gods you were nervous.

Trying on the first one, it was a long-sleeved body con with a slit that stopped at your thigh. You swore that it looked shorter on the mannequin.

Damn it, corporate shopping centers.

You vehemently rubbed your hands down the dress to try and bring the slit down, but it was made like that. Looking at yourself in the full body mirror that stood next to the dresser, your eyes were wide in fear at the sight of you.

While you had been reassured many times from your friends, family, Tomas and his family, the thoughts gnawed and festered away in your mind.

Through the mirror, you saw how your hips hugged the dress, how your little belly rolled over in the fabric, your thigh peeking through the slit and bits of cellulite coming through.

While you knew that everyone, Tomas especially, would reassure you, you couldn't help but feel like an imposter- a pig in a dress.

The tears you so badly were holding in began to flow down your cheeks and hit the dress. You sniffle as you waddle over to the bed, head buried in your hands as you wallow in your depressing thoughts.

Suddenly, the door opens and you can hear a certain European man humming a tune and his steps walk on the pebble floor.

"Feather?" his voice is careful as he approaches you. Your shoulders are perked up as you messily try to cover up your tears, but that shit clearly isn't working as Tomas is on his knees as one of his hands is on your knee and the other on your wet cheek.

"Feather, what's wrong?" he asks softly, wiping your endless tears as you get up from the bed. Tomas is definitely taken aback as he follows you to the mirror.

"Tomas, you know what's wrong. I mean, just look!" you cry, pointing to yourself in the mirror as you keep tugging the slit of your dress.

"You can see my thighs, especially the little wrinkles. My tummy is ugly here in the middle, and..."

Tomas didn't hear a single thing since he saw the dress on you through the mirror. If he had a tail and ears, they would be perked up and wagging. Hell, he might even be drooling.

Tomas loved the way the slit teased the legs he's marked over and over again. He loved the way bits of your softness hugged the fabric, sign of your health that he loved to see. And by the elder gods, those hips of yours. Round, voluptuous, and full, his most favorite part of you was accented so well in the dress.

"I just feel like an imposter," you say, and his thoughts were interrupted and brought back to you.

"And why would my feather feel like that?" Tomas asks as he blocks you from the mirror. You sigh as you hold on the fabric again.

"It doesn't suit me, I just said that," you groan. Tomas takes your hands and decides to do something about your inner voice.

"You are ethereal," Tomas whispers as he kisses your forehead. "Spectacular, perfect, one-of-a-kind."

You giggle at every word he uses to praise you, at every kiss he gave you on your face. Tomas holds your face and plants one final kiss on your lips.

"And if you truly feel like you want a change, we can do that too," Tomas assured you. "No matter what form you are, even a worm, I will cherish you."

This was why you chose Tomas out of the many men that threw themselves at you. He accepted you for who you are, and he would support you if you ever wanted to change anything about you.

You kiss him on his lips as a thank you, giggling into his mouth as he opens up for you to explore. You fling your arms around his neck as his hand res comfortable on your lower back. Like well-tailored gloves, he fits well there as he pulls you closer and makes you feel the growing muscle beneath his pants.

"Oh my..." you whisper, looking down at the bulge in his pants. He chuckles as he whispers in your ear.

"There are ways to quell the voice in your head as well," Tomas suggests.

You walk backwards and lead him to the bed once more.

"I'm all ears, commander."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kuai Liang

You stared back into the mirror that threw back the image of yourself. It was you alone with your reflection in the dressing room.

No point in hiding, though, as two more mirrors were angled in your direction. You were surrounded with yourself in this dress, and it felt like you were cornered by a pack of hungry wolves.

You step down from the middle step and sit down and wave your legs from side to side in boredom and sadness.

You were out dress shopping with Kuai Liang for a wedding guest dress. His old friend, Harumi, was getting married, and he and his entire family, and their partners, were invited to the ceremony.

Three shops later, you found a beautiful mermaid dress with long-sleeves and went down to your ankles. On the mannequin, the dress was spectacular. Of course, mannequins are not true to life, but it looked amazing.

Now that the dress was on you, though, you wanted to dissolve into nothing but dust.

You always did your best to ignore the negative thoughts that plagued your mind, but they bit your ankles like a bear trap- unknown yet always there. This dress made it feel like you stepped into a field of them.

Your belly made a sort of "pouch" thing since the dress hugged your curves. Your hips were well-defined in the dress, and it actually accentuated the natural waist you had too.

And elder gods have mercy, the legs. Though covered up, it's no secret that you had legs for days under the dress. And Kuai Liang was the lucky man to see, touch, and feel them.

Despite such charming features, you couldn't help but feel defeated with yourself. As you cried silently, trying to slip out of the dress, a knock came on your door.

"Dove, what is the matter?" Kuai Liang's voice reverbs through the door. You sniffle and wipe your face, trying to put up a façade in your voice before answering.

"U-uh, nothing!" you say with a fake, upbeat voice.

Kuai Liang, bless him, knows you're lying. So instead of leaving, you can hear how his body slides down the door and his bum plop onto the ground.

"I am not to move until you let me in, dove," he states, claiming his spot on the (probably dirty) floor. You want to scold him, tell him to get up, but prolonging it will only make it more embarrassing.

Giving in, you open the door and watch as he falls onto his back. He blinks a couple of times before he sees your blurry image in the dress.

Shyly, you hold your elbow as he scrambles to his feet. He's practically drinking the sight of you like a dehydrated survivor. The very image of you in this dress is revitalizing him.

He can't ignore how full your hips and bum look against the dress, or how elongated the dress makes you look. He can't ignore the way your legs naturally crossover on another due to the dress's shape, or how perfect the dress hugs your waist.

Let's not forget the belly, either. His absolute, most favorite part of you was perfectly snug in its place, creating a sort of "pouch" effect. Hreat elder gods, Kuai Liang's patience was truly being tested.

"Oh dove..." Kuai Liang mumbles, walking over to you and taking your hands in his. "Dove, you are stunning."

You nod sadly as you feel on of his hands rest on your cheek, carefully wiping your tears away as you mumble chicken scratch about how the dress looks on you. Whatever you were saying was being ignored- like talking to a brick wall.

"Kuai Liang, love," you say weakly. "I cannot with this dress, it just doesn't sit well on me..."

The pyromancer shakes his head rapidly, like a child throwing a tantrum. He grabs onto your shoulders and spins you around to look at the mirror, and all three reflections stare back at you.

This time, with Kuai Liang present.

"Are you telling me that I'm being lied to?" Kuai Liang's voice booms. "This woman, in the mirror, is not the one I said was most beautiful?"

You nervously shake your head 'no', and Kuai Liang keeps singing your praises.

"I know who I chose as my consort. I know who I chose as the love of my life," Kuai Liang kisses your cheek and grabs your right hand and spreads your fingers out.

"I know who I chose as my future wife."

You turn around, pink and warm on your face, as you smile and hug him.

"You, dove, are the one I want," Kuai Liang assures you. "And no matter what form you choose, I am going to have you no matter what."

You chuckle and kiss his cheek. "Thank you for reminding me, my love." Kuai Liang, instead of responding as usual, begins to close in on you as your back presses against the cold mirror.

"Um, my love?"

Kuai Liang strips the jacket he was trying on before his arms pin you in the jail cell of his chest.

"Perhaps another addition to your reminder," he nips your ear and kisses your neck.

"So that you will not forget again."

=====================

hello kings, queens, and monarchs, hope yall enjoyed this one!

as you saw, i made a rules and masterlist, so please read that before proceeding to do anything regarding this blog

see yall in the next fic!

[murdrdocs]

Loser!Luke would send photos of himself getting out of the shower, his hair wet with his curls out water dripping all over his face, droplets rolling down his chest and towel around his waist, fucking cum gutters defined and shiny with that cute little smile on his face showing he’s just being sweet not a whore. He’s only replying to his best friends message saying he’s out of the shower now.

It’s such a slutty photo and he has no idea what he’s doing the poor boy.

he truly doesn't understand why you send him a picture of your face, eyes wide as if you're shocked, your lips parted just enough to communicate the emotion. really, he was just telling you he's out of the shower now if you still wanted to facetime him.

and when he does facetime you, you don't answer. you send him a message, telling him you need a few minutes. he towel dries his hair halfway, leaving it damp and letting the air handle the rest. he puts on a pair of plaid pajama pants, and is in the midst of brushing his teeth when you do call him. he just sets his phone up on the bathroom counter casually, standing back and brushing his teeth in front of the mirror, not noticing how the angle gives you a perfect view of his abs and the slight V leading down towards the worn-in waistband of his pajama bottoms.

you're only on the call for a minute before luke hears the infamous sound of a call ending and then his phone buzzing.

2 mins, is what your message says.

and little clueless, loser!luke has no idea what's going on with you.

^ literally me reading this just now holy shit

[strawberryblue-blog]

Insecurities —FC Barcelona.

summary: How would they react to your insecurities?

warnings: none. sad, angst.

Pedri.

He can't stand to hear you cry because you hate your body, he will do his best to help you with that.

Little things that will make you start to look at yourself differently. He really supports you, he wants to show you how much he likes you, that it's okay to love yourself and that you can do better. You are precious to Pedri and he understands that you are not sure of yourself, so he will love you for both of you.

You don't have to be ashamed with him, Pedri also sometimes has his issues with self-doubt and insecurity, so he understands you. But he doesn't want you to keep suffering, he's going to love you just the way you are. You don't have to be the prettiest, or the thinnest, or the tallest. You just have to be you and that's enough for him.

Ferran Torres.

Ferran really loves to take pictures of you, even when he knows you hate them because you never look good in them. But for him you look so beautiful that he can't help it and wants to make a monument with your photos.

He is aware of your hatred of seeing yourself in photos or mirrors but he wants you to get over it, he wants to help you to be able to see yourself without hating yourself. Ferran loves you so much and obviously doesn't like to see you suffering, image is not everything. He cares about your well being, your mental health, your soul and your heart.

He will show all his love for you, kisses, caresses, hugs that will make you feel safe in his arms, sheltered and protected. He will upload pictures of you with beautiful phrases and will help you to overcome it little by little.

Pablo Gavi.

He is aware of all the effort you make every day to love yourself a little more, he is the reason why you do it and the person who supports you the most in that sense.

He understands your ups and downs that you usually have but he is glad that you alone can turn the situation around. He loves you just the way you are, no matter what you look like, he loves every part of your body and your personality. He doesn't want to burden you with it but if he could he would tell you at home second how beautiful you are on the outside and especially on the inside.

He hopes that together you can get through this, loving and supporting each other like you normally do. He can't wait to show you the immense love he has for you, make you feel loved, wanted and safe. That when you are with him, you can be you completely.

Joao Felix.

He really strives to help you love him every day, with his words, with his caresses, with his heart. Joao usually brings out his most romantic side when we talk about you.

You don't have to pretend to feel good with him, you can tell him anything you want, you can cry, you can just say nothing, Joao will be there for you. He will deny and help you understand that not everything is physical and that your mind is your strongest armor.

He fell in love with you in every possible way, he doesn't need you to be pretty, or tall, or slim, Joao wants to be your refuge, to love you and show you that he will be with you when you need him the most and that he will support you in everything.

Fermin Lopez.

He doesn't like to hear you say that you don't like such and such a thing about yourself, or that you would like to change something about yourself, he hates it. Because he loves every corner of you shamelessly, he admires you and is proud of who you are. He doesn't care about anything but your happiness and love.

Fermin thinks you are the most beautiful woman in the world, he chose you for a reason, everything about you made him fall in love. Neither your height, nor your weight, nor your skin color, nor your language define you. He knows your heart, your intentions, your abilities and that makes him fall in love with you every day.

Sometimes he thinks the world is too cruel and that no one should feel that way, so he will try to help you in any way he can, he wants you to know that he will be there for you no matter what and that he loves you more than anyone else.

Marc Guiu.

If there is someone who understands you, it is Marc. He is also a bit insecure with himself, you are still young and growing. Sometimes he thinks that he is not enough and that he could do better, that maybe you are too much for him. But you know how to support each other in spite of that.

Marc loves you with all your problems and insecurities, just as you love him. You don't need anything but your love for each other to survive. You learned to know each other, to understand each other, to listen to each other and most importantly to love each other.

You are both so secure when you are together, when you laugh, when you kiss, when you love each other, when you are yourselves.Your hearts will grow stronger and your minds will heal little by little as long as you have each other.

[theprettynosferatu]

Oh, you're awake. Finally. Please, look at the picture on the screen. 

You recognize her, I suppose. Look at how silly she looks, trying to be tough, trying to look cool. All that leather and black and studs… doesn't she look ridiculous? 

I see you nodding. Good. The special drink is grabbing hold of your brain. Making it softer. Malleable. You really should be more careful about accepting treats from strangers… but I suppose you won't have to worry about that anymore. Or anything else. 

Now, let's look at your social media. Lord, isn't that pathetic. Trying so hard to be clever, to be snarky, to be rebellious. It's almost endearing, like a puppy trying to walk in its hind legs. Come on, we both know it's all just a costume, don't we? One you've worn for so long you mistakenly believe it's a personality- one you developed when you were a teen. One you need to grow out of. 

Please, don't struggle. The knots are quite secure, I assure you. I've done this too many times to count. Why are you resisting, anyway? Do you truly, deep down believe this personality of yours is worth saving? Worth fighting for? Doesn't it just look as the pathetic attempt by a dumb girl to pretend to be something more? 

Ah. I see you squirming. Was it the "dumb girl" comment? I suspect it was. Your pussy knows I'm right, and it's screaming its approval. It's screaming for you to accept its truth, pulsing with neediness and wet with anticipation… I wonder what it is about that word. “Dumb"... it does have an effect on you, tough girl. Dumb. Silly. Stupid girl. My oh my, is that a moan that just escaped your lips? I’m sure it was. Feeling softer, are we? 

Softer indeed… I’m sure you can sense it still… the way it’s becoming harder and harder to focus. The way a pink cloud seems to be permeating your consciousness. The way you half-perceive the faint scent of cotton candy. The way you are getting more and more soaked by the second. 

Oh, stop struggling. Tell me, why do you hate it so much? The idea of actually being a cute, silly, horny girl? I can see it in your eyes- the loathing. The searing, pure anger. Why, though? I suppose you are imagining all those girls, those popular girls, those slutty girls, those bimbos that soaked up all the attention and the praise. Am I wrong? I don’t think I am. But I do think you are hiding. Yes, hiding what really happened. You tell yourself a story, one that makes you look good, or so you think. That you’re better than them. Stronger than them. More independent than them. A free thinker! A rebel punk feminist! But that’s not the whole story, is it now? No, we both know what really happened. You surrendered. 

Yes, that’s it. Your eyes can’t lie, you know. You surrendered because you could never, ever be like them, be as giggly and flirty and free- so you decided you wouldn’t compete with them on their own terms, and modeled yourself to be their opposite. How pathetic is that? Even in your resistance, you could only be defined by them, by your rejection of them. You became their dark mirror, and soaked in the attention of the leather-wearing so-called “punks” and the geeks and all the other rejects. But you know why they even looked at you: because the other girls, the pretty girls, the girls in pink wouldn't even deign to turn their gaze towards them. You were always… what they settled for. 

You think I’m being cruel. Well, I won’t deny that I get some pleasure from throwing the truth at your face. It’s always so much fun to watch you all fight, and moan, and deny that they would do anything, anything at all to be able to finger fuck yourselves to oblivion… But believe me, my cruelty has a purpose. I wouldn’t be doing this to you if I didn’t have a higher goal in mind. A benevolent one. 

I can take it all away. All that resentment, that anger, that anxiety… that constant, pointless quest to be… what? A professional? A successful woman? An independent soul? Please. That’s only so much set dressing. I can strip those delusions from you, give you what you really want. 

Imagine it with me. Tight white jeans showing off your ass, the shape of your legs. A pink tank-top, proudly proclaiming yourself to be a princess in tacky, gold lettering. The men turning their heads as you walk. Everyone being so nice to you at parties… because they want to see you on your knees, licking and sucking and worshiping their cocks, because they want to bend you over and use your slutty pussy as their plaything. And you… you would love it. 

No more fear. No more stress. Just the bliss of sucking three cocks, going from one yummy dick to the next, squeezing your titties together to give them the spectacle of their lifetimes. And then your cunt being filled, that hole you now hold your rage in given meaning and purpose by becoming a living set of holes for men to use, sensing the simple, plain joy of knowing you are doing what you were meant to do with your life. Knowing you are wanted. Desired. 

I see you’re drooling. Sounds like you like my little proposal. Well, there’s one simple way to sign this pact with me. You don’t even have to speak- speaking seems so hard now, doesn’t it? So keep quiet and let your slutty body do the talking for you. Keep your mouth open. 

There. Good girl. Doesn’t my cock look tempting? Amazing? Like you could just suck it forever? Yes, good girl… now, let me fuck your mouth- and know my cock is only the first of many. Too many to count. 

Then again, by this point you can’t count too high, can you?

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