#the mighty nein reunited part one

[annemarieyeretzian]

kingsley telling yasha “I know they haven’t said anything, but I love the hair.” 💜

[sparring-spirals]

Rewatching the like last five minutes of the first half of the M9 Reunited part 1, in preparation to finish it off, only to get hit with Jester's panicked tone and Fjord all solemn and withdrawn and worried, capped off by

"I don't know.

Its a good thing we have powerful friends."

Like AUGH you SURE DO and nothing marks this better as a post-campaign one-shot than Fjord knowing that, than Fjord saying that.

[ghor-dranas]

In the Mighty Nein Reunited two-shot, Veth mentions that one of her campers (Pidge) is from Draconia. Which is all well and good, except Draconia fell around 26 years prior to this two-shot back in 811 PD, and most of the students are in their mid-late teens.

The Doylist answer is that Sam either forgot Draconia fell, or is unclear on exactly how much time has passed since then. But that's less fun than considering the possible Watsonian reasons. For example:

- Pidge's parents were deeply nationalistic, and even though they live in Xarzith Kitril or Talonstadt or maybe even Charis, they feel strong cultural ties to Draconia and claim it as their nationality

- Pidge is 26+ years old

- Pidge is a teenager but was locked out from the flow of time in some way (spell, pocket dimension, soul trapped in a gem) and thus was actually born in Draconia

- despite Felderwin's sizeable dragonborn population (6% in 835PD!), or perhaps because of it, Veth assumes automatically that all dragonborn are from Draconia, no matter what anyone says to the contrary

[ludinus-is-a-bitch]

i love how travis sings when he is stressed during the uk'otoa battle. it brings up his theatre background and heavy linda belcher vibes.

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

snake time >:)

[mourn-and-watch]

the gentleman & jester relationship is so funny to me especially in retrospective. i love gentleman embracing his new-found Crime Boss Dad role but when he met jester he was explicitly the Crime Boss without the Dad part and my guy unknowingly sent his own daughter to places nobody should ever go without a gun and mighty nein didn't get one until hupperdook and it didn't help much anyway.

so back to the point. do you think he ever reflects on the days when mighty nein were working for him but now thinking of jester as his daughter and not some random weird girl. does he ever wake up in sweat colder than usual remembering that one time when mighty nein did that ophelia job and he started to make out with her in front of his daughter dreaming of reuniting her mom and long lost dad and to make it even more embarrassing it turned out they lost their buddy so he shrugged and tossed his kiddo some extra money so she can go buy herself ice cream to feel better or something

[shorthaltsjester]

if i ever have to see another thought piece on the description of the white picket fence outside of fjord and jester’s place in mighty nein reunited indicating jester’s unhappiness in the relationship i will burn the world to the ground.

a) heteronormativity doesn’t exist in exandria !

b) fjord isn’t your Typical Male Love Interest Guy. if i ever have to read someone say that shit again i’m gonna (correctly) assume they haven’t paid attention at all to campaign 2 and any of fjord’s character arc.

c) perhaps, jester lavorre, woman who was raised on the ideology of romance novels and sexuality as exchange, might just find it uh… not a terrible thing that the white picket fence is falling apart outside since… fjord explicitly does Not feel like those romance novels to her, instead he feels comfortable. the way that a brightly painted but rarely used house might, especially when the couple in question spends most of their time adventuring together… which is an essential part of jester’s motivations throughout the campaign.

d) the reason fjord and jester seem unhappy in the reunion might be because, well, uh, whereas everyone else was getting a “vacation”, jester and fjord’s life together (specifically the fact that Fjord Loves Jester Enough To Risk The World (Momentarily) To Save Her) was the inciting action for an apocalyptic demigod being released - they Were unhappy. who wouldn’t be given those circumstances. jester nearly died, and fjord felt like the god that once saved him had now abandoned him, i am so truly sorry that their romance was not satisfactory for your vision of atypical romance (which, by the way, is literally reinforcing the restrictive romantic tropes you think you’re criticizing, so good job i guess). i would be much, much more concerned if jester and fjord Weren’t clearly dismayed.

e) both fjord and jester are individuals whose entire lives and character are defined by the expectation (both external and internal) that they behave and emote a certain way. that they’re in a relationship with someone who they feel that they can show that they are frustrated with or disagree on the layout of their house with or have different ideas on how to deal with the looming threat of a demigod is incredible. jester and fjord are emblematic of a relationship in which the characters Aren’t meant to be, but they Want to be together and they want to understand and support the other person so they work at it. we wouldn’t have conversations like “you seem disheartened..” “i am very disheartened! you almost died!” if they didn’t take the time and care to communicate with one another.

f) if you want a honeymoon era joyful queer romance, yasha and beau are right there! they are explicitly horny and in love and bright about it! if queerness is your measure of “trope breaking” i am very sorry to tell you that queer people partake in white picket fences, and i’d actually argue that in terms of Lifestyle Metaphor, beauyasha are more adherent to the whitepicket fence, nuclear familyism. this isn’t a detriment to them, just, very literally, beau works a 9-5 where she comes back to her housewife who gardens and cooks dinner and their future includes explicit reference to children. comparatively, fjord wants to address some issues in his past, jester is an artist, and both of them are interested in adventure for the foreseeable future.

g) if you truly think that a single part of laura’s description of the part-time abode of fjord and jester overrides every interaction and choice that both laura and travis make towards fjord and jester caring for each other in a deep and meaningful way that goes beyond the weird fandom constructed Man/Woman characters being portrayed by a married couple i truly, Truly have no idea why you even watch the many hours of content that cr is when you could… play/write your own shit.

[aspiringsophrosyne]

Jester Lavorre and Letting go.

A while ago, I wrote a post on the Mighty Nein and how that campaign had, among other accidental themes, an overarching theme of characters (player characters and NPCs alike) running from their problems and only delaying the inevitable at best and making things worse for themselves at worst as a result.

I did not include Jester in the list of characters I covered, and I think now might be a good time to delve into why:

Because Jester doesn't run from her problems, she runs to them.

For the sake of complete accuracy, this is generally the case, but not exclusively. Jester, like the rest of the Nein on the whole, has a rather pessimistic view of things and gives up on some things too soon. (Everyone, including Jester, assumed there was no way back to shore after they stole their first ship, and the rest of the Nein, except for Essek and Cad, were ready to give up before Cad's last Divine Intervention, etc.) But we see multiple times that Jester runs towards her personal problems, or what she sees as her personal missions or obligations, instead of away from them.

In fact, it could be argued that Jester hangs on long after it might've been better for her to let go.

But before that, her father. Jester pursues him every chance she gets, and when Marion reveals he's someone she knows and has met, her first instinct is to Send to him and tell him she's his daughter. She keeps doing this until he finally agrees to meet with her. And then, even after that less-than-hopeful face-to-face conversation where he finally admits she's his biological child, she still clings to the idea of hooking her parents back up again.

Travelercon is another one. It's one of Jester's main focuses after finding her father, and even with all the other things she has to deal with, she's continually worrying about getting there in time and trying to figure out what to do when she gets there. She sees it as an obligation to the Traveler (even after she finds out he was never actually a god), and she never tries to run from it or weasel (heh) out of it.

And then at Travelercon, when a vessel of the Moonweaver herself gets involved in the shenaniganary, Jester latches onto Artie and refuses to let go no matter how much Fjord begs her to do so or how much the vessel questions her loyalty in the face of Artie's selfishness. Only when he kicks her off does he spare them both a trip to the Fey Realm.

(And remember, this would've delayed their trip to Eiselcross, which would've allowed who knows what to happen before they came back; not only was there a ticking clock in the form of DeRogna and another adventuring troupe, but time moves weirdly in the Fey Realm.)

On a more positive note, Jester doesn't just refuse to give up on her goals; she also refuses to give up on people. Because of her, the Gentlemen gives up on selling his problems into slavery, eventually walks away from his criminal life altogether, and reunites with Marion like Jester wanted. Her kindness, however teasing, is a big part of why Essek turns over a new leaf. And she never gives up on either of the circus kids. No matter what terrible things their bodies are made to do, she still believes they're both in there, and not only is she proven correct, but her faith in them is rewarded both times.

Jester doesn't give up on people. And while this ties her to Artie in a way that's not entirely healthy for either of them, it does more good than harm in the long run.

This is part of what so strongly endears her to the rest of the Nein. With the arguable exceptions of Essek and Cad, the Nein have largely been written off by people who should've loved and supported them. Veth highlights this when she reveals why she chose Nott as her pseudonym. Caleb's tutelage under Trent is self-explanatory; Fjord's upbringing scarred him; Beau's dad sold her; Yasha's tribe forbade and then murdered her love; Molly was left to climb out of that shallow grave alone—all these people have been discounted. And when they meet Jester, she makes for a beautiful and powerful counterpoint.

[marcussour]

Some random thoughts about last night episode:

Loved seeing the Crown Keepers for this 2-part thingy, sad to see them go out like this. I would've loved for this whole storyline to play out over a regular, say, 4 episodes arc of EXU; like, don't get me wrong, I loved this idea of switching parties mid-episode and exploring the other half of the story and how Dorian ended up coming back, but the whole "what they were doing between EXU:Kymal and episodes 92 and 93" felt a bit rushed and condensed due to those restrains.

On a similar note, what happened with Deni$e? I know that having Aimee play 2 characters simultaneously would've been a lot (and also, an incredible power move and probably hilarious). Apparently I misremembered what Deni$e's saw through the portal at her exit in episode 63, 'cause I was sure that Dariax was there in Westruun, but it was more like, she was gonna try and find him, not that she saw him there. Glad that she still got a mention when Dorian reunited with Bells Hells.

Crown Keepers, oh sweet, poor, Crown Keepers. I expected something akin to a bad ending, but somehow they splitting and going their separate ways ended up hurting more than if all of most of them had died, instead of just Cyrus (RIP Cyrus, you delightful himbo with gambling problems).

Something I've been wondering if that we're gonna get some type of Avengers-like team up between the different champions of the gods. I know most people are expecting the big team up to end up happening between Vox Machina, the Mighty Nein and Bells Hells, but this whole idea of the gods talking and taking their champions to join the fight against Predathos got me thinking if we're gonna get some type of god squad EXU going on. We know Opal and Fy'ra are together now and probably on route to somewhere; there's also whatever Morrigan's gonna do now (and is she just an empowered champion but not THE champion of the Matron like Vax, or does she have multiple ones like other gods?). And we know of other champions like Teven Klask and Zerxus for Asmodeus (and come one, who wouldn't want Luis to be back as Zerxus), or Arkhan for Tiamat (tho in this case, considering he's Joe Manganiello's character, and how he was canonized in D&D lore, maybe he's off the table).

On a similar note, it does got me thinking about the fact that Vex, Scanlan, Pyke and Yasha are all champions of their respective gods (though in Vex and Scanlan's case, my guess is that it was only a temporary thing).

Back to the Crown Keepers, sad to see Dariax and Dorian separated. Like, I get the why (tho I would've loved to see Dariax with Bells Hells), doesn't mean I like it. Also, I guess it's kinda telling of Dorian to always make similar exists when confronted with a heavy emotional weight: the way he left Dariax playing in Zephrah felt pretty similar to him leaving the toy floating back in Jrusar when he left Bells Hells. I like the thematic consistency of him leaving a place kinda like a breeze or a gentle gust of wind.

Also, our blue boy is going through some stuff. Seeing him snap like that, love the complexity that Robbie put there, but also, got me worried about some decisions he could make.

Loved the reunion with Bells Hells of course and the brief glimpses of them catching up. Wish it could've gone for a little longer, I get the why (no one wants the live play equivalent of a clips episode).

Excited for next week, and for whoever's gonna be present and the camp in Bassuras and to see if they're going after Ludinus in Aeor or something else (also, I would be shocked if Sam's new character doesn't appear by then).

[annemarieyeretzian]

caleb calling “hallo? hallo?” and beau swinging open the door, already holding a wine bottle, and yasha shouting “come in! come! in I’ve been heating up leftovers!” and insisting “sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit!” (bonus: yasha wearing an apron that says ‘zadashian in the streets, xhorhasian in the sheets’ and beau bragging “she made a stroganoff!”)

[utilitycaster]

I've seen you talk about found family dynamics a few times and how its often abused in fandom and I know Bells Hells in no way fits this trope but I was wondering about your thoughts on Vox Machina and Mighty Nein within the dynamic or if it doesn't fit those groups either.

Hey anon,

So here's the thing: I actually think the bigger issue is that most people make a lot of incorrect assumptions that a found family is automatically functional and healthy and loving and ignore that simply because it is a family born of choice rather than birth. D&D parties are often found families, but they are also often a bunch of deeply traumatized weirdos who met by chance in a tavern, which is not precisely a recipe for the most well-adjusted dynamic. People can make terrible choices of family just as easily as they can be born into a dysfunctional or abusive family.

A lot of people also equate found family with "they need to stay together forever in the equivalent of the avengers' mansion" which is similarly not true. What is a family? It is an (often) lifelong bond; but the people within the family still also have their own lives outside of it, and might live apart while still loving each other very much. They also often forget or try to disparage the idea that characters can belong to a found family while still also having families by marriage or blood outside of it and might need to make compromises to balance the two, even though this is again a very true thing of families in the real world.

The cast of Critical Role generally gets this; the fans don't always. Quoting from episode 1x85 for the second time in like 12 hours but as Keyleth said, "I think Percy's right. We're worse than friends, we're family. And family leaves." I can't entirely define a found family - it is ultimately a vibe, and it is ultimately subjective - but I actually think Vox Machina and the Mighty Nein are both found families.

What's always been very revealing to me is that no one ever really disputes Vox Machina is a family, even though from the end of Campaign 1 until the TCSR was published over four years later, in early 2022, it was assumed that they were all living separately or in couples - Percy and Vex in Whitestone; Keyleth in Zephrah; Scanlan and Pike in Westruun; Tary in Wildemount; and Grog traveling the world but often finding himself in either Vasselheim or Westruun. Indeed, even with the TCSR and the fact that everyone has residences in Whitestone, Keyleth does usually live in Zephrah (though she can easily travel); Vex must spend time away from both the others of Vox Machina and her actual family by marriage and blood given her duties in Emon; and Scanlan splits his time between Whitestone and Ank'Harel. Perhaps it's that there were already familial bonds between the twins and between Pike and Grog, and that only Tary dated outside the party and the people who make this claim often forget him anyway.

People do frequently argue the Mighty Nein are not a family for parting ways at the end, despite this being no different than Vox Machina, and also actually being far more able to reunite quickly than Vox Machina can. I think it's in part because several party members (Veth, Jester, Caduceus) all did still very much value their biological families and a lot of found family people really do not like that, but also...look. Most Campaign 2 hate is a front for either being mad that Molly wasn't resurrected or being mad about one or more of the ships. I've never seen anyone whose only complaint was "I felt like it was a found family but then they parted ways"; it's always thrown in on top of being far more angry about several other things.

For what it's worth: I don't think Bells Hells are quite as bonded, but I do think they're on their way, especially if travel and communication remains messy and they're forced to spend more time on watch and sharing rooms (again: I think Matt's vision for this campaign is, in retrospect, actually pretty great, but it should have probably been communicated a bit better to the cast and more investment have been put in the character development to compensate for the challenges of this unique structure). My issue specific to the fandom response to Bells Hells as a found family isn't that I think they're not going to be a found family; it's that people who insisted they actually had the best and most honest found family dynamic and everyone who disagreed were just being haters suddenly turned on the proverbial dime when a character not in their good graces was the one who actually voiced it.

In summary: I think people in fandom, generally, place a disproportionate weight on found family as like...an end all and be all and forget that much like a family of blood/marriage/adoption, a found family can also take on many different configurations and have various levels of functionality and honestly and healthy behaviors; and in doing so forget to actually say "is this dynamic of closely bonded people fun to watch and interesting? then who cares what the fuck we call it." But I do think it's hard for a D&D party in a longform campaign of very close friends not to take on some familial traits.

[critter-genfic-events]

Canon Divergent AU Recs!

This week, we have canon divergent AU recs! A dozen different what-ifs to explore below the cut - and as ever, if you like them, remember to comment or kudos!

Catch A Falling Star by Rainydaydecaf (32921,Mature) Warnings: Feeblemind Pairings: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha Nydoorin, Essek Thelyss & The Mighty Nein

The Nein find a feebleminded Essek down in the sewers along with the beacon.

Reccer says: It's got a great spotlight on each of the Mighty Nein as they interact with the feebleminded drow - from Fjord babysitting him and Kiri to Beau giving him a haircut - and feels true to the characters and the world

pressure cracks by BananasofThorns (10271,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Fjord & Caleb Widogast

Fjord is a student at Solstryce Academy. Professor Ermendrud requests a private meeting with him.

Reccer says: It's got echoes of Fjord and Caleb's dynamic in the pirate arc, combined with scourger Bren

The Star and the Wildflower by devil_seabird_king (ShaaKi) (8173,Teen) Warnings: suicidal thoughts Pairings: Caduceus Clay & Essek Thelyss

A young Essek is becomes friends with a young Caduceus Clay

Reccer says: This is a combination that doesn't get enough love, so it's fun to imagine what they'd be like as childhood friends

A Whisper On My Shoulder by EssayofThoughts (251169,Mature) Warnings: Major Character Death Pairings: none

Percy's not the only member of his family to survive the Briarwoods' attack. He's just the only one to do so alive.

Reccer says: A true epic that imagines Cassandra as a ghost by Percy's side throughout the initial parts of Vox Machina's journey. Amazingly well thought out

some ever after no one could predict by QueenWithABeeThrone (15343,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Leofric/Una Ermendrud

Over thirty years ago, Una Ermendrud went into the Feywild and met a satyr named Garmelie. thirty years later, Caleb reunites with his godfather.

Reccer says: I love how practical Una is in this, and how that practicality cuts through the feywild magic.

both my broken hands are true by quothhh (1805,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Veth Brenatto & Caleb Widogast

In a world where Yeza was taken by the goblins instead of Veth, Caleb and Veth manage to meet anyway.

Reccer says: It's got some killer lines and also a great example of the Caleb and Veth friendship

watch my back, and keep the blade by jadeandquartz (3553,Mature) Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death Pairings: Orym & Imogen Temult

Laudna permanently dies. Imogen and Orym head after Otahan for revenge

Reccer says: An amazing bit of angst

You Think You Can Rid Yourself Of Me So Easily? by sparklegem (3724,Mature) Warnings: Hurt no Comfort Pairings: none

Percy's cursed weapon is not as easy to get rid of as they think.

Reccer says: I liked it

to know that this war was winless by quanshi (burningdarkfire) (834,Teen) Warnings: none Pairings: Beauregard Lionett & Caleb Widogast

Beauregard meets Bren for lunch

Reccer says: I love scourger Bren vs. Beauregard fics, and this is a lovely little taste

The Fool and the Soldier by mare_astrorum (200,000+,Mature) Warnings: None Pairings:

Mollymauk Tealeaf survived the Mighty Nein's encounter with the Iron Shepherds on Glory Run Road, but a short time later, a spirit began hunting him, claiming that he stole his body.

Reccer says: One of the most insane things Matt dropped during the wrap-up was where the campaign might have gone had Molly survived. This is such a wonderful exploration of the concept of the Tombtakers as reoccurring enemies and Molly still with the party that is wonderfully IC, extremely detailed, and a lot of fun. It's going to be a long one and it's ongoing, so buckle in.

Magic Jar by Anonymous (3211,Teen) Warnings: none Pairings: none

The mighty nine, if Caleb was a soul in a magic jar

Reccer says: It's a fascinating premise and an amazing thing to think about

you'll let it go by pigflight (1590,Teen) Warnings: major character death Pairings: Delilah Briarwood & Laudna

What if Delilah convinced Laudna to take the shard?

Reccer says: wonderfully angsty and delicious

If you liked this rec list, follow along for more! We'll be posting a new list with a new theme each Monday. Want to make your own recs? Check out use this form to submit!

Next week, we're featuring your featuring explorations of grief, in all forms. It'll also be a day late, as next Monday is Christmas.

After that, we'll Pike Trickfoot, mysteries, and then monsters.

If you're looking for some more, check out some fics written in the critter genfic bingo tag, or the older rec lists! Or you can request your own card and join in on the fun!

[mieletthe]

!! Spoilers for the Mighty Nein Reunited Part 1 !!

in the still of the night

The Sending comes just as he has laid his head down for the night, exhausted after all the rapid ping-ponging across the continent. When Caleb had returned home from giving his guest lecture that afternoon, he hadn't imagined leaving the cottage, let alone passing through two cities plus an unpleasant swim in the Lucidian Ocean.

He's bone tired and sore, and within seconds of closing his eyes he hears the voice that he'd spent all day—spends most days—hoping to hear.

"I am, ah, on your doorstep, but it seems you are not home. Unless you are perhaps in the tower…?"

Caleb suppresses a sigh. He has the worst luck. He rolls over to face the wall, praying that none of his friends will overhear. "I'm sorry, Essek," he replies in an undertone. "I won't be home tonight, or for…a bit. Jester and Fjord had an emergency, and I needed to come assist."

"Oh"—Caleb would swear he can hear disappointment in that small sound, and his heart sinks—"I apologize, I should have Sent before coming. I hope all is safe and well with them. And with you."

"No, I apologize, I—" Caleb stops himself. He shouldn't waste words in these brief messages, not when Essek goes through pains to reserve his magic as much as possible these days. He's hit with the realization that Essek will need to expend the high-level spell slot he keeps available in case of emergency in order to teleport back the way he came. "Please, go in and make yourself at home. Help yourself to the pantry. You may stay as long as you need."

It takes a little longer for a response to come, that Caleb almost thinks one won't at all.

"Thank you." Essek's voice is quiet, and shaded with relief. "If my assistance is at all needed there, please let me know. I hope to see you soon, Caleb Widogast."

The way Essek says his name simultaneously makes his heart soar and rends it in two. Gods, he wishes he was still home tonight. Beauregard was elated to be "getting the gang back together," and he cannot deny a small thrill at that, but in this moment, with that silvery voice in his head, he feels an ounce of resentment towards this sticky, cluttered floor beneath him.

Again, the temptation rises to ask Essek to join them, just as it did every time Jester or Veth brought up his name tonight. But Essek has enough to worry about in keeping himself alive; what kind of friend would he be to drag him into danger—and all to feel his company? No. This is their problem to handle.

"I look forward to it."

Also on AO3

[tryingtoart03]

“I’m actually quite warm.”

Happy Mighty Nein Reunited Day - Part 2! I wanted to redraw one of my favorite Fjord moments from the end of his talk with Caduceus.

I feel like this is also apt considering Fjord’s current arc. Wildmother be with our boy.

[ravendruid]

Food, Friendship and Comfort

This fic is part of the @critter-genfic-events Bingo to fulfill the Comfort and Cooking slots. [Check my bingo card and other works here.] Set post-Campaign 2 and Mighty Nein Reunited. Read on AO3

Beauregard Lionett’s days as a Cobalt Soul Expositor are either dreary and dull with endless paperwork or exhausting with back-and-forth trips to Rexxentrum to track the Cerberus Assembly. Today is one of the latter days where she trades a warm, sunny Zadash for a gloomy and cold Rexxentrum. 

Beauregard scheduled to meet her friend Caleb for breakfast this morning, so as soon as she steps out of the teleportation circle connecting the Rexxentrum and Zadash archives, she speeds past the guardians and archivists without a word and exits the dimly lit library onto the bustling street of the capital of the Dwendalian Empire. The feeling is immediate as the cold hits her uncovered skin and makes her curse between her teeth. Beau doesn’t have time to linger, so she follows the familiar cobblestone streets, ignoring the people rushing to and from work, the colorful buildings, and the heavy presence of crown guards in the more seedy areas.

The cottage that appears when Beauregard turns on another crossroad is a sight that makes the corners of her lips curl and her skin tingle in anticipation of warmth. She should have known better by now and brought a warm jacket along. The two small planter boxes out front are still full of tall, green plants, possibly kept alive in the cold by some arcane means from the owner of the cottage, and as Beau approaches, she notices that it either has recently been harvested or is yet to produce green beans. 

Beau knocks at the rustic door, and where the motion would usually be followed by the sound of a chair scraping the wooden floor, it is now followed by silence. Weird. Caleb knew she was coming. Even if he is still in his arcane tower, he would have certainly set up alarms that would have triggered by now. Beau knocks again, louder this time, but still, no answer comes from the other side. She tries to peek in the side window through the small gap in the curtain but can’t see anything out of the ordinary. The house is intact, with no signs of a struggle (or worse, an attack). Beauregard doesn’t want to expend the single use of her sending stone yet, lest it be needed later. However, the cold is bothering her right now, so she does what any good friend would do if they suspected their friend might be up to something or in a difficult situation: she picks Caleb’s lock. What are the chances that he has arcane wards against thieves? Highly, Beau tells herself as the lockpick clicks. Too late now. However, the door opens with a creak, but nothing explodes in her face. Beau sighs in relief as she steps into the musty interior and relocks the door behind her.

“Caleb?” She calls out to the empty house. It’s cold inside. The hearth is full of ash, and there is a layer of dust on every surface as if someone hasn’t cleaned in weeks. Beau inspects every room, each darker and emptier than the one before until she finally reaches the back room where she knows Caleb often tutors children who didn’t get accepted to the academy. This room, too, is empty and dark. Dust covers the desks and chairs, a few pieces of old parchment are spread out, and empty and dry bottles of ink sit forgotten. At first glance, this would be an average room. Messy, yes, but ordinary. But Beauregard knows better. She knows what to look for and finds it in a corner, slightly obscured by a tall bookshelf, a shimmering door that leads into Caleb’s tower. 

Beau is welcomed by a lit fireplace in the study, a spectral Bengal cat rubbing at her legs, and a mess of Caleb lying on the soft, plush couch by the fire, reading a book about Dunemancy. He is alive but looks almost as bad as he did when they first met. Caleb’s shiny red hair is full of knots, although still in a ponytail, his beard is shaggy and unkempt, his clothes are wrinkly, and there are a few coffee stains on his shirt. Caleb is indeed a mess, which can only mean one thing.

“How long?” Beauregard asks in a harsh tone that means she will take no bullshit. Caleb lifts an eye from his book, finally acknowledging his friend’s presence, but he doesn’t reply. “Caleb, how long has it been?” Beau presses on. She strides confidently to where the man lies on the couch and effortlessly removes the book from his hold, closing it with a thud. Caleb stares at her for a moment, then finally greets her with the hoarse voice of someone who hasn’t spoken in days, “Hello to you too, Beauregard.”

Beau does quick math in her head. It hasn’t been that long since they last saw each other, perhaps two months, not even that long. She remembers Caleb saying then that he was waiting for a visit from Essek, but those were usually short and never resulted in a depressive mood like this. Something must have happened during their Xorhasian friend’s stay, and if the empty look in Caleb’s eyes is any indication of it, then Beau is determined to help and comfort him in any way she can.

“Clean up before I message Jester to tell her you smell and look like a hobo again. Just when she was starting to let it go away…” Beau threatens, scrunching her nose at him. Caleb nods and rises from his nest of pillows and blankets with the groan of someone whose joints are stiff from being in the same position for a long time. Beau shakes her head in displeasure and stares at the back of the man’s head as he lifts through the arcane elevator and disappears above the central iris.

Caleb meets Beauregard an hour later, freshly clean and bear-trimmed, in the dining room, where they plan their day over eggs, pancakes, and pocket bacon. Caleb doesn’t mention Essek, and Beau doesn’t ask questions about the state she found her Empire friend, so the only names said aloud are those of the Cerberus Assembly, particularly Ludinus Da’leth, who is up to no good. Caleb shares with Beau the detailed information he gathered since their last time together, information that cannot fit the 25 words of the sending spell they use for their daily reports. Beau is glad he took the official position at the Soltryce Academy, not for his proximity to the Assembly members, but for how much happier Caleb has been since he was allowed to teach and shape young minds.

When they separate hours later at the gates that lead up to the school, Caleb’s shoulders are lighter, and his smile brighter. Beau knows whatever happened is still lurking in the shadows, but she won’t pull unless he wants to push. So, before she turns her back to him and returns to the archives to fill out report after report, Beau throws her friend an invitation, “Why don’t you stop by later to have dinner with Yasha and me? She would love to see you.” 

“I’ll think about it,” Caleb says, but from the look in his eyes, Beau knows he will knock at her door with a bottle of wine and apple tarts. So be it. She waves him goodbye and leaves.

—   

Caleb is happy to find that Zadash isn’t as cold tonight as Rexxentrum. The smaller city’s lights are already sparkling against the dusky sky, and the aromas of food and burning wood fill the residential area around him. He knows he could have teleported directly to Beauregard and Yasha’s house, but he would hate to intrude on them, so Caleb teleported into a narrow alleyway not far from the center of town and strolled to their friends’ abode. The house is just as he remembers it. Not large, but cozy. The garden that Caduceus has been teaching Yasha how to care for is dormant as the first signs of winter approach, but the ivy growing up the front of the house is still there, larger and taller than the last time Caleb saw it. He stops at the iron gate, peering through the open curtains to see Yasha stirring a pot on the stove. He knows she has been learning how to cook from a neighbor, not always successful, according to Beau’s reviews in the few words they share about their day. Meanwhile, the tall Aasimar’s wife is just finishing setting the table for three people. How Beau knew Caleb would show up, he doesn’t know. Maybe she hoped? Perhaps she just… knew. Either way, Caleb is here now, crossing the iron gate, walking down the pebbled path towards the ivy-framed door, and knocking twice.

Beauregard opens the door with a smirk. She is wearing different clothes than Caleb saw her wear in the morning—more casual, comfortable clothes—her hair is still up in her signature bun, and she is still wearing some of her golden jewelry. The woman in front of him is not an Expositor of the Cobalt Soul anymore, but his friend from adventures that have been almost forgotten in time.

“Hello, Beauregard,” Caleb greets her sheepishly. Beau’s smirk gives room to a bright grin as she greets him back and steps away to let him in the house.

It’s a cozy, lived-in house (although a bit too messy for Caleb’s tastes) that smells of stew and sweets, where a small fireplace crackles in front of a comfy couch and a shaggy rug. The walls are adorned with art, paintings done by their tiefling friend of the Mighty Nein and their allies. Caleb’s favorite piece is definitely the large painting above the mantelpiece of their group of misfits, one that includes Mollymauk at one end, Kingsley at the other, and Essek smiling next to Caleb. Caleb has the same painting in his office in his small cottage (Jester painted one for everyone so they wouldn’t forget about them. So they could look upon it and smile, remember the memories of what they have been through, and soothe the sorrow of missing their friends).

“I’m glad you could join us, Caleb,” Yasha greets him, bending to give the man a bear hug. Beauregard must have told her wife the situation she found him in that morning because he sees compassion and comfort in Yasha’s eyes. Caleb merely nods and drapes his coat over the back of the couch. He produces a bottle of wine and a plate of apple tarts—not homemade today, though—that he kept in his private pocket dimension and hands it to Beau, who tuts at the wine label reprovingly but promptly uncorks it nonetheless. 

Dinner doesn’t take long to be served, and it’s not half-bad (a vegetable stew with harvests from Beau and Yasha’s garden with a side of rustic bread also made by the latter). The conversation flows nicely between the three, sometimes pausing to sip on wine or to change the subject. Caleb listens attentively to Yasha’s tales about their neighbor, Martina, who has been teaching her new recipes to use their produce (she was, apparently, the one who taught Yasha the stew recipe they are eating). The conversation changes again to Beau and Caleb’s work tracking the Assembly, and the three discuss and share theories about Ludinus’s plans. Through it all, no one mentions the name of their drow friend, the war criminal who has been running from both the Empire and the Dynasty, which makes Caleb relax. 

Essek doesn’t get the opportunity to visit often, and when he does, it’s in disguise, so Caleb has learned to cherish those fleeting moments. However, things seemed to have calmed down for a while, and Essek’s stay was extended to over a fortnight before chatter began, and the man departed again under the light of the moon. He hasn’t heard from his Xorhasian friend in weeks, which is not uncommon, but this separation has taken a harder hit on him. Beau clearly saw it that morning. She guessed from the state she found Caleb’s house in but didn’t ask, and neither did Yasha. Caleb knows the women will wait until he’s ready to share, and he’s thankful for that. He makes sure to give them a smile to convey his gratitude, and, in response, he is offered a place to stay overnight so he doesn’t have to return to his empty house and empty cold bed. Here, surrounded by two of his dearest friends, chatting happily about vegetables, fertilizer, and power-hungry mages, Caleb is still far from healed but on the mend, and the dark loneliness in his starts to vanish.

[hello-eeveev]

How to Rest: Director's Commentary—Chapter 2

| Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 |

Chapter 2 is for cozy vibes, further establishing themes, and lightly pushing my grey-ace Caleb Widogast agenda. Chapter 2 Commentary is for discussing where Caleb’s head is at at this point in my timeline for this fic series and why it’s there, and further explaining my grey-ace Caleb Widogast agenda. In fact, I’m realizing that this chapter is kind of a companion piece to On the Nature of Attraction and I’m posting this on its anniversary! What perfect timing!

Let’s get started!

(spoiler warning for the entirely of How to Rest)

The setting for this is New Dawn, aka Exandrian New Year. It’s snowing in Rexxentrum and Essek visits Caleb to welcome in the new year. I imagine that just before this chapter begins, they had a nice dinner. I wrote this back before Mighty Nein Reunited came in and made my fics not canon-compliant, so I was working under the assumption that Beau and Yasha also lived in Rexxentrum, so maybe Caleb and Essek had dinner with them or maybe they stayed in. That can be up to the reader. Either way, it’s time for a fireplace, hot chocolate, and a cat, so it’s cozy vibes all around.

Let’s discuss the cat. I love cats. I don’t think that really leads into the discussion, but I gotta say it. It’s probably also pretty evident in how I wrote the cat. Anyway.

I haven’t written Caleb as adopting any cats of his own yet, and that’s because even this long after the campaign ended (1.5 years), he’s still not quite… settled. In 141, we’re given “six months to a year” before the shadowgast Aeor trip, which is implied to take place after the close of the Ikithon trial, and in my mind, it has always been much closer to that one year mark. So in the continuity of this fic series, Caleb spent the better part of a year dealing with the trial, which is not the most grounding thing to experience, and then he goes to Aeor with Essek for a month or two, during which he has to decide if he is going to risk the entire timeline to bring his parents back. That’s a lot. On both a material and spiritual level. And adopting a cat is big and permanent, and that’s just not where Caleb has been until quite recently. And it’s only now, after all this emotional turmoil has been resolved, that he is even able to start to settle into this life he’s making for himself, but he’s also still learning what that looks and feels like because he has next to no experience with a life of comfort and rest. The closest he got was his childhood, but that was 20 years ago, and even then, his life in Blumenthal is so drastically different from his current one. 

That’s where the title “How to Rest” comes from. Caleb doesn’t know how to properly rest and he’s trying to learn how. That’s also why he hasn’t started teaching at Soltryce even though that is very much his plan for the future. He needs to learn to live for himself for a while before he takes on the next big thing. Mentally, I am throwing blankets and pillows at him and begging him to take a nap.

…so yeah. no cat quite yet. 

But he does feed the strays, and he’s been doing that long enough that they know where he lives and that he’s a safe person to go to if, for example, they need a warm house to sleep in when it’s snowing in Rexxentrum.

Anyway, that’s a lot of preamble to discuss what is, essentially, 1500 words of Essek and Caleb kissing, but hey. that’s why we’re here :)

I’m not going to do a detailed breakdown of the initial cat section because it would pretty much just be, “hey, here’s a cat doing cute cat things and here’s Essek doing cute Essek things,” and I think that sums it up well enough.

They each drank from their cocoa, and as Caleb lowered his cup, he felt a tentative shoulder against his own. Essek was staring straight ahead, looking nonchalant as their arms brushed. Warmth flared in Caleb’s chest. He leaned further against Essek and caught a glimpse of the corner of Essek’s mouth pulling into a slight smile, despite his best efforts to hide it behind his mug.

It is still early enough in their relationship that Essek is still working out how to be direct, especially when it comes to bids for physical affection, but he’s self-aware enough that his coyness is more playful than it is an actual mask. He’s not really trying to hide his intentions, but he knows he is unable to just express them outright, so he does the “subtle” thing that his brain allows him, knowing that Caleb will understand and reciprocate.

He cupped Essek’s face in one hand and turned it towards him. Smiles such as the one Essek wore now—genuine smiles that touched his eyes and created a small dimple in his cheek—were once a rarity, but they seemed to be appearing with increasing frequency. At least whenever Caleb saw him.

Caleb gets a front row seat to the gradual lowering of Essek’s walls, and he is a big reason why Essek is able to! He makes Essek happy! These smiles are precious for those reasons and because Essek does not get the opportunity to be so genuine or so content most other places.

And something something who else does Essek let close enough—both emotionally and physically—to see all the ways his smile changes his face.

Then there’s cuddling and kissing, and they like each other so much, and it’s all very cute and sweet, but then we get into my grey-ace Caleb agenda. This is for two reasons: 1) set up the plot point for On the Nature of Attraction, and 2) the more grey-ace Caleb content there is, the happier I am.

He leaned forward eagerly, knowing how much closer he could hold him and how much better he could kiss him if they were laying down, without pesky things like knees and legs getting in the way.

This is Caleb’s intention. Nothing more than that. Caleb as the narrator is not obfuscating any secondary motive.

Essek tensed for a moment, as if he were considering something, then pushed them both upright with a small shake of his head.

Essek, however, cannot read Caleb’s mind, and isn’t sure if the motion to lay down is an implication of or invitation for sex. Certainly, the way romantic relationships are talked about would suggest that it is. And when confronted with the (perceived) possibility, Essek learns that his answer is “nope,” and he draws that boundary, which is readily accepted.

And it is because of this boundary that Essek establishes that Caleb realizes that his internal script for anything “romantic” that involves physicality has been very much affected by the Volstrucker training (see: that one tidbit Liam gave us in lockdown-era Talks Machina, that they were taught to be “as sexual as they needed to be” to get results for the Empire) and by his relationship with Astrid and Eadwulf being his main coping mechanism during that time. 

I have written in my notes for this chapter that Caleb has this internal script of “lots of kissing leads to intense make-outs leads to, if not sex outright, something more sexual than not.” And while I believe he understood in theory that this does not have to be the case, and that it certainly wouldn’t be the case with Essek this early on in their relationship, it isn’t until this moment that it really starts to sink in. And then he learns that he likes that they can just kiss and cuddle and that it doesn’t have to be a preamble to more sexual things, which he is also starting to get an inkling that maybe there’s some trauma mixed up in there.

and idk i think grey-ace Caleb is neat and considering the ways his trauma impacts that is cool (she says, feeling a great deal of complicated emotion)

Essek leaned fully into it, smiling and hooking his legs over Caleb’s so he was practically in his lap.

One thing I wrote when I was planning out this chapter was “this is a conversation without words.” Obviously, there’s some words still happening, but they’re not terribly explanatory, so they must rely on non-verbal cues.

With his boundary established and respected, and now that he has had a moment to come down from his initial “nope” and recognize Caleb’s action for what it really was—a desire for more physical closeness—Essek is able to respond in a way that meets both their needs.

“I am very happy that you are here,” he whispered.  Essek’s fingers curled tighter in Caleb’s hair, and he turned his head and pressed his nose to the side of Caleb’s. “As am I.”

They just like each other so much. And they make each other happy just by being there.

“Sometimes I wish we were back in Aeor,” Caleb said after a while.  “Do you now?” Essek sounded amused, if a bit drowsy. “Mm,” Caleb said with a nod. “I miss studying magic with you every day, knowing that you were always close by.” “I could do without the bitter cold and mage-killing monsters,” Essek chuckled. He tightened his arms around Caleb’s shoulders. “But yes. I miss that, too.”

One thing I frequently try to do when writing Caleb’s dialogue is have him say something that’s like, a few steps removed from what he actually means. People talk like this in general, but Caleb’s meaning tends to be a few more layers deep than the average person’s, especially when he is stressed or experiencing heightened emotion. It’s one of the things I like about him; I think it’s funny.

This exchange is a very obvious example of this: Caleb says something, Essek lightly challenges him on that, and then Caleb is able to state more clearly what it is he actually wants. In this case, while it’s still in the frame of Aeor, Caleb is able to tell Essek that he wants to spend more time with him and that he feels better when Essek is nearby. And Essek is able to reciprocate while still keeping it within the “safe” zone of “haha wouldn’t it be nice to be back in Aeor? haha jk… but?” They are starting to build ways of communicating with each other, and this is one of them.

“Where will you go after this?” Caleb asked.  “You know I can’t say.” He sighed. “I know. But you will be safe?” “I will, I promise. And I will see you again as soon as I am able.”

And the tragedy of their situation is that Caleb can’t know where Essek is most of the time, only that he will be far away, because that’s the best way to keep them both safe. And yes, Essek promises to be safe, but how much of that is within his control?

“I am afraid,” he said, taking Caleb’s hands from his waist and bringing them up to his lips, “that it is time for me to go.” Caleb groaned and felt his face contort into a pout that was almost embarrassing, except that it made Essek laugh, and it was a sound so beautiful that it washed away any feeling of shame, leaving only warm happiness in its stead. “Soon, Caleb Widogast,” Essek said as he kissed Caleb’s knuckles, voice brimming with fondness.

I love this image. It is so full of affection, particularly on Essek’s behalf. If I could figure out a good and interesting angle, I would draw it. I just think it’s cute and sweet and that’s what we’re really about over here.

Essek kissed him on the cheek. “Rest well.” “Travel safe.”

These are their hopes for each other at this point in time. Essek wants Caleb to have peace and rest, and Caleb wants Essek to be safe while he is alone on the road. They are very normal things to say when parting, but they are being completely earnest here.

So Essek leaves, and Caleb has a one-sided conversation with the cat. So to close out this chapter commentary, I will be showing you this scene again, with the cat dialogue included:

The cat he was hosting for the night, seeming to notice Caleb’s sudden lack of companionship, stood from his spot in front of the fire with a meow, stretched, and padded up to the couch. “Hello.” “Oh, hello. Do you need something from me?” Caleb asked.  The cat butted his head against Caleb’s legs, then ran the whole length of his body along his shins, tail curling around them. He meowed again—“I would like pets”—and looked up at Caleb with round, eager eyes.  “Oh, come here, Kätzchen.” Caleb scooped up the cat and laid down on the couch with him on his chest. “Thank you for keeping me company.” He scratched the cat’s ears and chin. “I think I must like him rather a lot, hm? To feel his absence so soon after he’s left.” “Perhaps you’re in love with him,” the cat chirruped as he settled into a loaf, paws softly kneading into Caleb’s shirt.  “Well, I don’t know if I would say that,” Caleb answered. “Something akin to it, maybe.” The cat pressed forward and rubbed his head along Caleb’s beard, purring loudly. “I think so.” “Probably,” Caleb conceded. “But patience, my friend. These things take time. It is not as simple for everyone else as it is for you.” Caleb kissed the cat on his little forehead and closed his eyes. Purrs rumbled through his chest and ribs, and he let the rhythm lull him into a pleasant, dreamless sleep.

And that’s Chapter 2! I hope you enjoyed! May you all have a nice nap with a purring cat (or whatever your preferred equivalent is).

Until next time!